#it only happens when I’m spacing out too

[starryjake]

thinking about having gotten into a little fight with jake and needing space, you told him you wanted him to sleep on the couch. he’d apologized dozens of times but you just couldn’t deal with him.

he would go sleep on the couch, sulking of course, while you got the bed. he couldn’t sleep though, not when his girl was pissed at him.

it would be the middle of the night when he gives up on the couch and trudges back to the bedroom. he needed to be close to you, it was the only way he’d be able to sleep :(

ever so slowly and carefully, he’d lift the covers up and slide into bed with you. you were laying on your side, curled up into a ball, your cheeks dusted with a rosy hue. you looked so cute, jake just couldn’t help himself.

he pressed himself against your backside, already feeling his erection grow in his pajama pants just from coming in contact with your overheated body. he let out a little sigh, wrapping his arm around your waist.

just laying there pressed against you wasn’t enough though, of course. his cock was straining harder and harder against you and he simply just had to move.

his movements were as still as he could be, not wanting to wake you and make you even more angry. he just every so slightly jutted his hips against your ass, offering his dick the slightest bit of relief.

this went on for a few minutes and without even realizing, his hips sped up and his grip on you tightened, leaving you no choice but to wake up.

you turned your neck slightly and quickly caught on to what was happening.

“jake,” you slurred, still slowly breaking out of your sleep trance.

“shit,” he said, planting warm kisses along your exposed neck. “i’m sorry, baby, i just had to have you. don’t be mad, please.”

you sighed, your eyes fluttering closed again as he slid his hand around your front side and started rubbing you over your shorts, all while sucking on your neck.

“couldn’t sleep on the couch,” he mumbled, pushing your shorts to the side and rubbing your pussy bare. “i just need to be near my girl. that’s okay, right?”

based on how wet your pussy was, he assumed you weren’t mad. his fingers were slippery as he gathered all your arousal and spread it around your warm pussy.

“mmm, yeah,” you hummed, spreading your legs for easier access.

“good girl,” he cooed in your ear, feeling his cock twitch against you. “can i put it in, sweetheart?”

“fuck,” you moaned at the thought. “yes, jakey.”

he aligned his aching cock with your wet hole and slowly slid in front behind, sighing out in relief at finally feeling some real pressure relieved.

“oh yeah,” he moaned quietly in your ear. “my tight girl. so perfect and wet for me, yeah?”

you shut your eyes tightly, gripping his hand as he slowly started thrusting in and out of you. your limp body simply rocked and followed along with his movements, too tired to fully control yourself.

“fuck, jake,” you cried out. “kiss me.”

he didn’t waste a second and was quick to attach his lips to yours. he slid his tongue into your mouth and rubbed it against yours, saliva and drool shamelessly spilling out of your mouths.

with the two of you both so tired and sensitive, it didn’t take long to finish at all. jake came deep inside your pussy and kept his cock buried in you for the rest of the night, leaving his cum inside your tummy <3

-

a/n: thank u @heebear for these pics <3

[rafemotherfuckingcameron]

rafe sees you lying on a bus bench with your bag, the rest up to you!

COLD

Word Count: 0.8K

Pairing(s): Reader x Rafe x

Warnings: Family Conflict, hypothermia

Summary: Rafe finds you on the bus bench freezing

The night was frigid, colder than you expected when you stormed out of the house. Your parents' voices echoed behind you, their yelling only growing louder as you slammed the door.

You hadn't even thought to grab a proper jacket, just a thin cardigan thrown over your tank top and shorts. Your vision blurred from tears, the cold biting at your exposed skin. In your haste to escape, your foot caught on a loose stone in the driveway, and you went down hard, scraping your hands and knees against the icy pavement.

Snow began to fall, light at first, but it quickly picked up, the flakes sticking to your hair and soaking your clothes. Shivering uncontrollably, you tried to stand but felt dizzy, the adrenaline from the fight fading and leaving you weak.

-

Your fingers clung to the strap of your bag as you stumbled toward the main road, each step heavier than the last. Your legs eventually gave out, and you collapsed onto a bus bench, the cold seeping into your bones as darkness edged into your vision.

The last thing you remembered was the sound of tires crunching on gravel, then a deep, familiar voice calling your name.

You stirred faintly, the hum of an engine and a blast of warm air pulling you from unconsciousness. Your body felt heavy, your limbs too stiff to move, but you could feel the heat of the car’s air conditioning washing over your frozen skin. The faint scent of cologne filled your senses, and you caught snippets of a voice—low, urgent, and soothing.

“Y/N, stay with me. You're okay. I've got you.”

You tried to open your eyes, but they were too heavy, your head lolling against the seat. A large, warm hand brushed against your forehead, a brief tether to reality before the darkness pulled you under again.

The next time you woke, it was to the comforting warmth of blankets cocooning you. Your eyes fluttered open, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of a bedside lamp. You recognized the space immediately: Rafe Cameron’s bedroom. The faint smell of tea and cedarwood lingered in the air, and the weight of the blankets felt grounding.

You tried to sit up, but your body protested, still sore and weak. That’s when you noticed your clothes had changed—a large, soft hoodie and sweatpants replacing your soaked and freezing outfit from earlier. Confusion swept over you as you pushed the blankets down slightly, your voice hoarse as you croaked, “Rafe?”

“Hey.” His voice came from the doorway, and he appeared moments later, carrying a steaming mug. He placed it on the nightstand before crouching beside the bed, his piercing blue eyes scanning your face with concern.

“You’re awake,” he said softly, relief flooding his features. “You scared the hell out of me, Y/N.”

“What... what happened?” you whispered, your throat dry and voice barely audible.

“I found you,” Rafe said, his tone gentle but serious. “You were lying on a bus bench, freezing. You weren’t even fully conscious. I got you in my truck, blasted the heat, and brought you here.”

Your mind tried to piece together fragments of the night, but it was all hazy. “How did I get—” You gestured vaguely at the hoodie and sweatpants.

Rafe’s lips twitched into a small smile. “Don’t worry. Sarah changed you. I wouldn’t... I didn’t want you to wake up and feel uncomfortable.”

You nodded slightly, grateful but still dazed. “Thank you,” you murmured, your voice thick with emotion.

Rafe sat on the edge of the bed, his broad frame towering over you but his presence oddly comforting. “Here.” He reached for the tea on the nightstand and handed it to you. “It’s peppermint. Figured it might help warm you up.”

Your fingers wrapped around the mug, the warmth seeping into your hands. You took a small sip, the minty aroma calming your nerves. “I’m sorry,” you said after a moment, your voice breaking.

“For what?” Rafe asked, his brows furrowing.

“For... showing up like this. For being a mess,” you admitted, tears welling in your eyes.

Rafe shook his head, his hand resting gently on your knee over the blankets. “Don’t ever apologize for that,” he said firmly. “You’re not a mess, Y/N. You’ve just been through... a lot.”

The way he said it, so certain and without judgment, made your tears spill over. Rafe didn’t hesitate, pulling you into a careful hug, his arms wrapping securely around you. The warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart against your cheek made you feel safe in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.

After a few moments, he pulled back slightly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly. “You can stay here as long as you need.”

The sincerity in his voice broke down the last of your walls, and you nodded, a small, shaky smile breaking through your tears.

“Get some rest,” he said, adjusting the blankets around you. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

As you lay back down, your body still aching but your heart a little lighter, Rafe stayed beside you, his hand gently stroking your hair until you drifted off.

[sinnabarmoth]

Tribute for the Dragon (6/18)

Pairing: Dragon|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: After the events of the hot spring you take to avoiding Sylus. It goes well until your accidentally wander somewhere you shouldn't have been.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 2k

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Read on AO3

“I am going to hurl myself off the mountain.” you muttered into your pillow. “I’m really gonna do it. I can’t go back out there and face him now. My only option is death now.”

You had been hiding back in your bedroom since that morning. You knew you technically had duties but you could not bring yourself to leave the room. When you thought about what happened back in the hot spring your entire body got heated.

It was one thing to have your own little forbidden fantasies that confused you but it was another to actually live them! You couldn’t act like Sylus wasn’t attractive. He was. If he were human then you probably wouldn’t be feeling so conflicted about it. But he is at least part dragon and while it looked like the only differences were cosmetic ones, you had not taken into account that there would be biological differences too!

He could really smell when you were aroused! That was beyond unfair! Now what were you supposed to do? Apparently if you got aroused you stunk up the entire mountain! You would reek and he’d know and how were you  meant to go about your normal duties knowing that at any moment you could have a sudden fleeting desire and he’d pick up on it like a hunting dog tracking a rabbit!

Then his offer to help! Dear gods above, you were going to get aroused again if you thought of the implications.

Maybe it would be fine. You could survive this. Knowing what you knew now the lust would eventually fade and things could go back to normal. He’d get bored of teasing you and--

No. He would not get bored of teasing you. It was stupid to think otherwise. But he may at least stop making blatant comments about it at some point.

With that in mind you decided to be brave and go back to your work. You were just going to do your best to avoid Sylus until you felt that you could be normal about this again. And avoid him you did. You crept through the tunnels like you were a thief in the night. The moment you heard him you darted in the other direction.

When it came to preparing meals you cooked them, shouted that the food was ready, and took off again. And you knew that Sylus could tell that you were avoiding him. If he really wanted to he would come seek you out wherever you were. For whatever reason he was letting you play this out. Perhaps he found it humorous or maybe he understood why you were doing it and was giving you that space. It was impossible to say which was correct.

All you knew was that the thought of seeing him made your skin alight and your legs tremble. Honestly, knowing that he could sniff out your desire made you feel aroused more often now. It was like when your foot was itchy but you didn’t realise it was itchy until you thought about it. If he had never said anything you probably would have been fine.

You didn’t know how long you could keep this up. Something had to give.

Then one day you were walking about the mountain when you heard Sylus coming down the same hall. You panicked and ducked into the closest room to you. At the time you hadn’t noticed the X carved over the archway.

You ducked inside, pressing yourself into the shadows waiting for him to pass. You stared into the darkness of the room and slowly your eyes adjusted. It looked like an empty spacious room. The only thing you could make out was the glint of metal further in.

Your curiosity got the better of you, no longer worried about Sylus coming down the hall and got closer. In the wane light you were able to make out what was there. It was an old chest. No shiny adornments on it or anything, just plain wood and iron.

Why was this in here all by itself? You glanced back at the doorway. You didn’t hear Sylus. He must have passed by.

Slowly you hefted the lid, the hinges creaked loudly as if they had not been moved in years. Perhaps they hadn’t. You had to squint and angle the chest towards the light from the doorway but you could make out a few things inside. Most of it was some old books and clothes but there were two things that caught your eye. One was a large piece of what looked to be an eggshell and the other was a shining gold pendant. Pendant was the wrong word. The disc you held in your hands was as wide as a dinner plate on a chain as thick as a rope.

It was dazzling. It almost seemed to glow in the darkness, a thin shine of red coming off of it. The design on the face was simple but masterfully done. Swirling designs crisscrossed the surface into some looping star shape.

Why would Sylus keep something like this in here and not the hoard room?

“Are you done snooping?”

Shit!

You froze, dropping the pendant back in the chest and closing the lid. Sylus was standing behind you, silhouetted in the door. You couldn’t see his face against the shadows but the ice in his voice was indicator enough that he was pissed. “I told you not to come in here.”

“Sorry.” you blurted out. “It was an accident.”

“And was it an accident when you went through my things?” he stalked further into the room.

“No…I just saw the chest and my curiosity got the best of me. I’m sorry. Really I am.”

“Well, I hope it was worth it. Now get out.”

In all the time that you had been here, this was the only time you had heard him genuinely angry. Your heart clenched and you held your arms close to your chest.

“Yes, master.” you squeaked out and fled the room as fast as your feet could carry you.

You did not see Sylus for the rest of the day and this time it wasn’t because you were avoiding him. He had disappeared from the mountain again. The room, when you walked past it later, had been blocked off with a mountain of rubble. Whatever that room was, whatever was in that chest meant, it was clear that Sylus did not want you in there again.

You felt guilty about looking through his things. There was no excusing your actions and if you had been smarter about it you would have never touched that chest. You would have recognized you were in a room you shouldn’t have been in and left the moment you were sure Sylus was gone. But now he was angry with you and you did not know how that would affect things between you.

This was arguably worse than the whole masturbation debacle. At least you knew where you stood with him regarding that. Now, you were scared. Not of him. You didn’t think he would hurt you. But you were worried that he would put you at a distance now. What if all you ever were to him from here on out was a servant? What if he decided he didn’t want you around anymore? Would he send you back to the village?

“Damn it.” you sighed. “I have to talk to him.”

You searched the mountain but like you had suspected earlier, he was missing. Probably gone on another flight. You went to the entrance and sat down. He’d come back at some point and you’d be waiting.

~~~

Sylus had been trying to give you the space you so desperately wanted after what happened in the hot spring. You were embarrassed and nervous, he expected that. But he had been sure you would get over it in time. So he let you hide and run, partly amused by how nervous you were.

Then he had caught you in that room. There were few places he didn’t want you treading, most of them were for safety reasons. The room that you went into though trying to hide from him was one that he had marked off for personal reasons. What he kept in there was for his eyes only. At least it was until you opened that chest.

He had seen what you were holding and all he wanted was for you to drop it. Forget everything you had seen.

When you looked at him…what he saw…what he smelled even. You were scared. Scared of him. The sour stench followed you out of the room. He didn’t want that. You were never supposed to be scared of him.

He went to the chest, checking the contents inside and slammed the lid shut once more. He then blocked up the entrance so no one could enter again. There was no reason for anyone to be going in there. Never again.

That sour stench of your fear was still in the hall. “Damn it.” he didn’t want to be here when the mountain smelled like this. It only reminded him of that terrified look you had thrown at him. You had looked so helpless, so small. The only time he had seen you look half as scared was when you first came to the mountain in that ridiculously extravagant dress and the makeup that had sweated off your face. But then, that fear had never been directed at him. You had always been so strong and so brave about everything that happened to you.

With one look he was scared that he had destroyed the trust you had put in him. What if you wanted to return to the village now? If you were truly that unhappy he would let you go in an instant. But the mountain would be so quiet without you. He needed to correct this before you were too far gone. But he also needed to clear his own head first.

He stayed out in the sky, flying without direction. He hadn’t noticed how long he had been gone until the sun started to set in the sky. He immediately turned back, hoping that he could catch you before you went to sleep.

It was dark when he returned. The mountain no longer smelled of your fear. And to his surprise, there you were.

You were at the mouth of entrance, propped against the stone wall, eyes closed as you slept. Had you been waiting for him?

“You didn’t need to wait out here,” he murmured to your sleeping face. He shook his head and gently scooped you up into his arms to take you back to the bedroom.

He had just gotten you back to the bedroom when you started to rouse, your eyes opened and squinted up at him. “Sylus? Where did you go?” you said through a yawn.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m back.” he set you on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” you rolled over to keep looking at him.

“I know you are. Go back to sleep.” he pulled the blankets up around you. He turned to leave but you caught him by his hand. “What is it?”

“I really am sorry. I don’t know what it was about that room or that chest that you didn’t want me to see but I do feel bad about going through it. I just…” your hand gripped his tighter, “I guess part of me looked through it because I wanted to know more about you.”

Sylus had not been expecting this. “What do you mean?” he asked, kneeling next to the bed so you were eye level.

“For as long as I’ve been here the most I feel I know about you is your name.” you said. “I don’t feel like I know anything else.”

“You wish to know my past?”

“Not even that.” you sighed, “I just want to know you. If I am to spend the rest of my life here, I may as well know the only person I may ever get to talk to.”

The rest of your life…

You weren’t asking to go back to the village. That’s all that mattered to him.

“That is fair enough.” Sylus said. “You may ask as many questions as you want, in the morning though. Then we can both get to know one another better.”

You smiled, it was sleepy and small but you had smiled at him. “Good.” your eyes closed again.

He looked down and saw your hand was still curled around his claw as you drifted on back to sleep. “What a strange little human you are.”

[writerfromshikahr]

A Shadow Dragon (female) Rook's perspective after the big choice. I am currently doing a SD play through and it always struck me as odd that no one speaks to a SD Rook after this, if they have saved Treviso. This is also a pre-relationship moment with Lucanis because I always romance him, let me have my things.

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Shadows & Dragons - Lucanis X Rook

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"Neve is taking it hard. Tarquin is beside himself, and Viper… it’s a lot," Lace said, her voice heavy as she addressed the rest of the companions. "Neve’s going to be gone for a while, cleaning up the mess. And, well...we need to do what we can for Minrathous—to help."

Rook stood silently by the fireplace, her gaze fixed on the flames. Had no one considered the weight of the choice she’d made? The destruction of her city hung over her like a shroud. She didn’t regret her decision—Treviso had needed to be saved. The Shadow Dragons had always endured before. That’s why she had sent Lace and Bellara there. With the Templars and Magisters in Minrathous, she had thought her home could stand strong. Treviso had nothing, no one to protect them apart from the Crows—and they weren’t exactly known for slaying dragons.

"Yes, we need to offer whatever help we can to Minrathous and Neve," Lucanis said, his tone steady but concerned. His dark eyes flicked to her. Rook, do you have any ideas?"

Rook turned to him, her expression tense. "You’re asking me?" Her voice cracked under the weight of unspoken emotion. "I’m the reason this happened. Minrathous is my home. I grew up there, played in the streets, and I have—" She faltered, then corrected herself bitterly. "Had family there. Yet not one of you has asked how I’m doing. I know I made the call," she continued, her voice rising. "But those were my people. The Shadow Dragons blame me for the fall of their city, my city, and they’re right. I let them down. Saving Treviso was the right decision—I don’t regret it—but I’m numb. I don’t know what to think, let alone how to feel. And now you’re asking me again…?"

"I… Rook…" Lucanis started, his voice soft but unsure.

"I’ll fix this," Rook interrupted, her voice trembling slightly. "I’ll figure out a way to fix it. But right now? I can’t."

The words felt heavy, almost like an admission of defeat. She looked at Lucanis, searching his expression for something—understanding, perhaps—but found only his quiet concern. "You all talk among yourselves. I need to get some air."

Without waiting for a reply, she excused herself and left the kitchen, her footsteps quick and purposeful. She needed space—room to think, to process—but most of all, to escape the weight of everyone’s eyes on her.

Rook climbed the stairs in a blur, her heart heavy with guilt and frustration. Reaching the balcony, she sighed in relief at the silence, leaning back against the cool stone wall. She closed her eyes, letting the faint glow of the Fade light warm her skin. For a fleeting moment, it was peaceful, a rare reprieve from the chaos below.

Blighted dragons. No one had been prepared for what they’d faced, least of all her. The one in Treviso had been nearly impossible to kill—if it hadn’t flown off, she wasn’t sure they could have stopped it.

Her mind wandered to Tarquin’s words, sharp and accusatory. Neve had been just as upset, though her tone had been a touch less brutal. Only Viper had refrained from placing the blame squarely on her shoulders—not that it brought much comfort.

She understood the urgency, the team’s need to help Minrathous. But what stung the most, cutting deeper than she’d expected, was the complete lack of acknowledgment that Minrathous was her city, too. She’d grown up there, lived its stories, and lost family in its streets.

The damage was done. She couldn’t take it back. But as she stared out at the quiet horizon, one thought consumed her—how can I make this right?

She let out a long sigh, startled when she realized she hadn’t even heard him approach.

"Rook… I’m sorry," Lucanis said softly. His voice was heavy with sincerity. "For what happened to Minrathous."

He lowered himself to sit beside her, his presence grounding despite the weight of the moment. "I don’t think I could have made such a decision," he admitted.

She turned to him slowly, her gaze distant yet resolute. "That’s what I do, Lucanis—make the hard choice and follow through. Whether I can fix everything afterward is another story altogether." She exhaled shakily. "But Neve… the way she looked at me. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me. And I wouldn’t expect her to."

Lucanis offered her a soft, reassuring smile. "Neve will come around. She’s a sensible woman, Rook, and you were put in an impossible position. You went with your heart—"

"It wasn’t my heart, Lucanis," she interrupted, her voice firm but not unkind. "I went with what I knew. Treviso has no army, no defenses… It wasn’t about yo—" She caught herself, the words hanging unspoken in the air. Her expression flickered with vulnerability as she hesitated before finishing, "Our friendship."

"But thank you," he said softly. "Thank you for saving my home, my people. If you hadn’t…" He paused, his voice tightening. "I can’t even imagine what would have happened if you hadn't helped. I will always be grateful for what you did."

She offered him a half-smile, but it lacked warmth—more resignation than anything else. "At least someone is pleased," she replied, her tone edged with bitterness.

"I’m not pleased that another city—your home—had to be sacrificed for mine," he said, his gaze steady on hers. "But I’m grateful to have a leader—and a friend—who can make the tough call when it matters most."

[thebigqueer]

"Was there never another ending?" - Caitvi - One-Shot

Summary: After the battle, Vi & Cait are resting in Cait's room and discussing the aftermath of the war. (inspired by "The Aftermath" by @qvert!) Word Count: 5440 Notes: CWs for sensual content (this lowkey borders being sexual but i wouldn't classify it as smut), mentions of blood & wounds. takes place after s2 act 3! Read on AO3

Vi wants to sleep. She’s been lying on Cait’s carpet for hours now, staring at the darkness behind her eyelids, but it’s been no use; it’s already early afternoon. No matter how exhausted she is, her blood is just humming too much to let herself sleep. 

It doesn’t help that Cait is next to her, hooked up to all those tubes and bags of fluid. Cait’s been released from whatever operations her father wanted to do on her since the battle, and she’s been resting on a makeshift mattress against the window of her bedroom, at her own request. Vi asked her earlier why she didn’t just want to stay on her bed, which would probably be the more comfortable option, but Cait shook her head as Vi helped her onto the mattress. “I just want to wake up to the sun in the morning,” she muttered. She offered that Vi stay on the bed, but they both knew the offer was going to be futile. After all that had happened in the past few hours, the very thought of spending a moment outside of each other’s peripheral felt dangerous. 

“You can lie next to me,” Cait suggested before drifting to sleep. “Why sleep on the floor?” 

Vi wanted to take her up on her offer. But she glanced at the tubes, and even though in any other circumstance she would have given in gladly, she knew that she’d be risking too much by taking up that space on Cait’s mattress. She didn’t want to accidentally rip out the tubes or kick Cait in her sleep. So she shook her head, brought over a pillow from Cait’s bed, and laid herself across the carpet. 

Cait narrowed her eyes at her, but her exhaustion quickly whisked her off to sleep. 

That conversation was during the night. Cait’s woken up a few times since then, each time with a jolt, followed by franting swiveling as she looked around her surroundings. But every time her gaze found Vi’s, she relaxed and let herself ease into her mattress again. At one point, she held her hand out, and Vi reached for it.

She hasn’t let go of it since. It’s the only thing keeping her anxiety at bay, knowing that Cait’s in her reach. 

Now the sun shining through Cait’s windows makes Vi’s eyelids glow in a warm orange, and she frowns in frustration. She wants to sit up and talk to Cait, but she’s not sure whether to shatter their silence just yet. Vi knows she’s not sleeping, though. She’s been playing with Vi’s fingers for the past hour or so, tracing the lines against her hand. 

“Can’t sleep?” whispers Cait, and Vi opens an eye at her voice. The sun splits through the window and arcs around Cait’s head, forming a slight blue halo around her, and Vi’s heart skips a beat at the sight. She’s lying on her stomach, face against the mattress as she looks down at her. If Vi was tired before, Cait’s voice evaporates any sort of exhaustion from her limbs. 

“It’s a little bit hard when someone’s playing with my hand.” Vi smiles up at Cait, then opens the other eye. She runs her thumb over Cait’s, feeling the coarseness of her knuckle under her fingertip. “How could you tell?”

A slight pink blooms in Cait’s cheek, and Vi’s almost surprised at how innocent she looks. “Your eyelids keep twitching. And your breathing is uneven.” Then Cait winces. “I’m sorry. I should let you rest.”  

“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t able to anyway.” Vi pushes herself into a sitting position and scoots closer to the mattress, and Cait shifts herself a little to make room. Vi lays an arm on the mattress and leans her head against it as she looks at Cait. “Can’t sleep either?”

Cait huffs a humorless laugh. “It’s a miracle I was even able to dream.” 

Vi hums in sympathy. She glances at the bandage wrapped over Cait’s eye, blooming with a faint red ring, and brushes her thumb against her forehead gently. “How’s the pain?”

“All right.” Cait attempts a shrug, then winces. “Better than earlier.” 

Vi offers a grudging nod, then brings her gaze to the bandages wrapped around Cait’s torso. Guilt pulses in her chest, and she lays a gentle hand against the gauze, feeling the roughness underneath her fingers. “When was the last time you changed these out?”

“I think I’m actually due for a change.” Cait raises an eyebrow at her. “Mind helping me do the honors?”

Vi gets to her feet gratefully. At least now she has somewhere to put her restless energy. She makes her way to the supply cart that Cait’s father set up at the foot of her bed and wheels it closer to the makeshift mattress. When she returns, she’s surprised to find Cait lying on her back now, her head tilted towards Vi. The sunlight streams in a green hue through the window and spills over Cait’s body, and, despite herself, Vi’s eyes catch on Cait’s bare chest. All she’s wearing is sunlight and the bandage holding her together. 

Cait raises an eyebrow. “You’re staring.” 

Vi can’t help the smile that erupts over her face. She doesn’t even have time to bite it back before Cait sees, so she chooses to embrace it instead. “My bad. Got a little distracted.” 

“I can wear a shirt if you’d like.”

“No!” Vi’s adamance makes them both flinch, and Vi blinks in surprise. “I mean, no, it’s fine.” She meet’s Cait’s eye, and her chest heats at the sight of her gaze, so full and bright and curious. “It’s just… I like that you’re comfortable with me.” 

“But you’ve already seen me half-naked.” A playful smile dances in Cait’s good eye. “I didn’t take you to be the shy type.”

“I know.” Vi shrugs. “But I don’t just mean that. I guess… I don’t know. I’m glad that you trust me to see you like this, like it’s an everyday thing. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world for me to wake up to you half-naked.” Before Cait can respond, Vi holds her hand out. “Let me help you up.” 

Cait grips her hand, and Vi wraps her other arm around Cait’s back to ease her into a sitting position. She hisses with each movement, but they eventually have her propped up, although slightly pale. Vi pats Cait’s knee gently as she catches her breath. When some of her color returns, she looks at Vi with incredulity in her eye. “I don’t know how you even managed to survive that wound to your body,” she croaks out. “This is horrible.” 

Vi smiles slyly. “Now we’re twins. Ready to take the bandage off?”

Cait’s eye closes as she takes a deep breath. “Yes.” 

Vi picks at the end of the tape and pulls as gently as possible. Once it unsticks from the rest of the material, she begins unraveling it from Cait’s body. It’s a tauntingly slow procedure, one that consists of a lot of cursing and lip-biting and eye-scrunching on Cait’s part, and Vi feels guilty every time Cait flinches. But eventually the gauze comes off, and Cait’s wound stares back at Vi, gaping red and festering. 

Now it’s Vi’s turn to flinch. “Yikes.” 

Cait’s face is scrunched in pain. “Don’t say that.” 

“Sorry. I mean, wow, your wound is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.”

Despite her pale color, a sparkle of amusement twinkles in Cait’s eye. “Shut up.” 

Vi throws a grin at her, then tosses the old bandage on the ground. She grabs a washcloth and a bowl of water from the cart, submerges the cloth in the water for a moment, then wrings it out and holds it in front of Cait. “This is probably going to sting a little more.” 

Cait sighs heavily. She stretches her arms behind her to hold herself against the pain. Her head tilts back as a frown paints itself on her features, and in the sunlight, her neck flashes. 

Vi forces her gaze to stay on the wound, if only to distract herself from how beautiful Cait looks right now. She gently dabs, and it takes a while for her to clean out some of the dried blood. Cait’s body scrunches against the sting, and each twitch of pain makes Vi twitch in sympathy, but she keeps going until the dried blood is cleaned away. 

It feels like an eternity before she’s done cleaning it out, but eventually she throws the cloth - now painted in a faded red - to the ground. She reaches for a roll of gauze from the cart, then sits back down to face Cait, who looks even more worn out now. 

“Last part,” Vi says, then gently brushes her hand against Cait’s knee. “Do you want to eat anything? I think your dad left some food.”

“I don’t even know if I have it in me to eat today.”

“I don’t blame you. Ready?” 

“No.” But Cait clutches her mattress again, and a new determination comes over her. 

Vi meets Cait’s eye, tilting her head to make sure she’s really ready, and Cait offers a slight nod. Vi starts by leaning forward and reaching her arms behind Cait’s back. She moves slowly, trying to be as gentle as possible as she wraps the gauze around and around. Cait only flinches a few times, which Vi considers as progress. She can feel Cait shivering against her every time she pulls in close, and despite the circumstance, a heat flickers in the pit of her stomach at the feel of her skin, warm and humming in her arms.

Finally, the gauze is thoroughly wrapped around Cait’s waist, and Vi uses the scissors on the cart to cut through it. As soon as Vi sticks it together, Cait releases a shuddering breath.

Vi’s about to ask if she wants to lie down again, but Cait beats her to it as she slowly crawls herself back onto the mattress. As soon as she hits the bed, a sigh of relief escapes her, and she presses the back of her hand to her forehead. A gentle silence falls over them as Cait steels herself against the releasing pain.

Vi watches her breathe for a moment. The sunlight soaks her body again, and even though she’s still a little pale, everything about Cait seems so vibrant in the light. Vi’s gaze travels up to the bandage over her eye, and she reaches out to brush Cait’s forehead again. When Cait opens her good eye in response, Vi gestures to the bandage with her chin. “How do you really feel?” she murmurs.

Cait shrugs. “It’s going to be difficult to get used to having one eye. And I’m sure I have some sort of concussion. But all that matters to me right now is that I’m alive, and that Ambessa didn’t get my good eye.” 

Vi nods. Then she nips at her thumb to hide the twitch in her lips. “I know this is the least of your worries,” she muses, “but I think the one-eye look is gonna look so hot on you.” 

Cait fixes Vi with a raised, playful eyebrow. “I’m glad you have your priorities straight.” 

“Of course I do.” Vi meets Cait’s eye again, and they both giggle. But the laughter slowly dissipates into quiet again, and soon the only sound in the room is of their breathing. 

In this new silence, Vi’s eyes trace Cait’s body. She starts at her face, radiant in the sunlight, then rolls over her neck, over her bare chest, down her abdomen. It’s kind of amazing the way Cait almost commands the light to fall on her. Her gaze catches on every scratch and gash and bruise on her body, and, impulsively, she reaches out and brushes her fingers over each blemish. Even bloodied and battered, she somehow has a way of stealing the beauty from the room.

She has the look of a warrior.

Vi drags her fingers down her bandages. The gauze is rough under her fingers, and she zigzags gently down the surface, until her touch lingers over the same place where Cait’s wound is. Then she retraces her steps, runs her fingers back onto the bare skin over Cait’s abdomen. Vi can feel the shiver in her skin as she breathes, and she swears her own fingers are glowing. She flicks her eyes up at Cait again, and when their gazes connect, Cait releases a breath and closes her eye, accepting Vi’s touch. 

So Vi keeps going. Her fingers follow the trail of Cait’s muscles to her sternum, and the motion gently tugs Vi forward, too. Cait’s ribs rumble underneath her fingers, like sharp hills on her body. She risks another glance at Cait, whose blue eye pierces her once again, but now there’s an ease in it, as if she’s floating. 

Vi brushes her fingers over Cait’s heart, and Cait’s breathing shallows the barest inch. Vi takes this as her permission to lay her lips on her sternum, and the scent of violets overwhelms her. She closes her eyes, trying to permanently memorize Cait solely through her fingertips. Her lips drag down Cait’s body, leaving kisses against every bare inch of skin that she can, but she stops just above her bandages. She looks up again to meet Cait’s eye, to make sure she’s not hurting her. Cait only looks curious, like she’s eager to see where Vi goes with this. 

Vi flattens her fingertips a little more against Cait’s chest, so that the curve of her breast just barely fills Vi’s palm, and she traces her kisses up Cait’s sternum again. Then she shifts herself closer to Cait’s body, cupping her other hand against her waist to hold her better, and leaves kisses against the rising part of Cait’s breast, up into the dips of her collarbone, into the crook of her neck. Cait sighs and tilts her head, inviting Vi in. Vi takes her hand on Cait’s waist to the other side of her face, brushes her thumb against her cheekbone, savors the heat of Cait’s flush between her fingertips. She’s so close that she can feel Cait’s chest rising into her own each time she breathes, and the feeling sets her heart on fire. 

Vi pushes her fingers under Cait’s chin and forces her head to tilt just a little bit more, then lets her bottom lip trail against Cait’s jaw, runs every bruise and knick under her lip, tastes her skin humming, until she reaches her final destination: Cait’s lips. Cait parts her lips a little wider, and as Vi finds her way in, Cait traces one hand over Vi’s back, up her neck, into her hair. Her fingers cradle Vi’s head so gently, and a tingling warmth erupts at the pit of her core, like a match just ignited. Her touch is a wildfire against Vi’s skin, and Vi swears her heart’s about to break out of her chest.

Vi tries to sigh, but it barely gets anything through because each time Cait scrunches her hand, another wave of desire steals Vi’s breath away. The hand on Cait’s face glides down her body again, this time with more purpose as Vi presses her palm against the side of Cait’s breast.

Cait’s neck arches at the touch. 

Then Vi pulls away, and Cait blinks up at her, a daze buzzing in her eye. 

Vi looks at Cait from here, watches her brow furrow in irritation. She tugs Cait’s bottom lip with her thumb, and another pinch of desire makes her want to dive right back in, but there’s a weight beginning to settle in her chest that pulls her back. Something about being this intimate right now, after everything that’s happened, feels… wrong.

She looks up and glances at the tubes still connected to Cait. She looks at her feet and spots the old bandages on the ground. She doesn’t look out the window, but she can hear some shouting every now and then as the world tries to rebuild itself outside. 

Then she looks down at Cait again, and just as she expected, the world drowns itself out of her peripheral. She just wants to stare at Cait like this for a bit, memorialize the view of her in the light. Before the sun disappears.

And suddenly Vi realizes why she feels so off. All that destruction outside, and here they are, keeping themselves in this little bubble. 

“Careful,” Vi says finally, and the way Cait’s brows dig deeper into her frown makes her smirk. “Can’t have your wound opening up again. We need you up and running, Commander.” 

Cait releases a huff. “Don’t call me that,” she mutters, but there’s barely any fire in her words. Her hand in Vi’s hair glides down, down her neck and down her shoulder and down her arm. Her fingers whisper over Vi’s bicep, and Vi watches her gaze run over her arm, one finger carving over the lines of her muscles, then tracing her tattoos. Even though it was Vi doing most of the kissing, something about her touch feels more intimate than anything they’ve ever done together, like she's trailing promises against Vi’s skin. She closes her eyes and lives in the touch. 

“How are you feeling?” Cait murmurs now. Her voice is soft, like sweet clouds against Vi’s ears, and behind her closed lids, Vi can almost pretend she’s floating. 

“Probably better than you.” Vi opens her eyes and runs her hand against Cait’s bandages gently. But there’s a subtle weight in her words, and Vi knows that wounds are not what she’s talking about. 

As if reading her mind, Cait drops her fingers from Vi’s arm to her hand, holding on a little too tight, and Vi’s throat aches all of a sudden. “Seriously, Vi,” she insists, running a thumb against her knuckles. A beat of silence passes, and then she whispers, “I want to know what happened.”

Vi looks down to watch her touch, and with every motion she makes, Vi’s chest grows heavier. 

After a moment of hesitation, a long sigh drags out of Vi, like a snake that’s been coiled up in her chest. A new exhaustion falls over her, and she drags herself onto the ground again, knees pressing into the soft carpet underneath her. She crosses her arms against the mattress and drops her head into them. In response, Cait turns to her side, folding her arm underneath her head as she watches Vi, her good eye filling with overwhelming concern. 

“She’s gone,” breathes Vi. “Her and my father.”

She surprises herself by the casualness of her tone, like this is an everyday occurrence. And maybe it is. After all, hasn’t she been practicing this line for months? She’s been practicing it ever since she first met Jinx, when everyone was trying to convince her Powder had died. 

But it’s only now that it’s become true. 

If Cait’s surprised by the news, Vi can hardly tell; the only difference is in the way her eyebrows cower together in the middle. “I heard,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry, Vi.”

Vi looks at her through her lashes, then points her gaze down to the foot of the bed, to the blanket cowering at Cait’s feet. She shrugs. “I guess it’s probably good news for you, though.” 

She almost regrets the words as soon as they come out, because she knows it isn’t fair to Cait, not now. But she can’t help it; it’s a thought that’s haunted her ever since the night of the attack.

Jinx’s missile had been bad enough; the attack at the memorial was Cait’s breaking point. She had narrowed her gaze on Jinx so easily, like suddenly the rest of the world didn’t exist. And Vi understood - sympathized, even - but watching Cait’s every working thought narrow in on Jinx like she was just another one of her sniper targets made Vi’s skin prickle. Jinx became a shot she refused to miss, and even though Vi told Caitlyn - told herself - that Powder was gone, the thought of watching her sister die at Cait’s hands made her stomach turn with every step closer to Jinx. 

What made her even sicker was the fact that she’d followed so blindly. 

Cait releases a deep sigh, but she stays quiet for a moment. And Vi’s grateful for that; right now, all she really wants is silence. Maybe it’s not fair to Cait, but maybe she wants her to sit in the implications of her words anyway. 

Maybe she wants them both to sit in the weight of their mistakes. 

“I don’t think it’s good news.” The gentleness in Cait’s voice surprises Vi, though she doesn’t really know why. Vi turns her gaze back at Cait, only to find that Cait’s own focus has shifted to the foot of her mattress as well. “I know Jinx and I have never seen eye-to-eye, but… things are clearer to me now.” Cait closes her eye, and Vi wants to reach out to touch the crinkle that appears between her brows. She doesn’t, though. “I don’t think she was ever the villain. I think I made her out to be one because… because I wanted someone to blame. I think she was… a product of failed dreams. A victim of her environment.” Then Cait meets Vi’s gaze. Her eye shines with so much sincerity, so much fear, that it makes Vi want to eat her own words. “An environment that I regret ever playing a part in.”

Vi begins to draw circles against the mattress sheets. She’s quiet for a moment, and the silence feels heavy on her shoulders, like a weight pressing over both her and Cait. The weight of responsibility, of truth. 

“I guess it just feels a little stupid.” Vi shrugs. “It felt like every move I made with either of you, I was making the wrong one. Like any time I tried to protect one, the other would always be pointing a gun at me. There was just no winning. But now Jinx is gone, and the game’s over, and I failed to protect her or save her, and it’s just… What was all my fighting for? If she was just going to drop out like that, what did I fight for all that time?”

Vi closes her eyes, and when she does, all she sees is the glow of the Hexgates beneath her, almost beautiful, blue as Jinx’s hair. Powder’s hair. And she sees the light in Jinx’s eyes, almost violet, as she looked up at her, an eerie peace solidifying in her irises.

Always with you, sis. That smile, soft and subtle and beautiful. Her Powder, in a different body. Her Jinx, in a new form. 

And then she fell, the distance between them growing stronger with every passing second. 

“I don’t think you failed, Vi,” Cait says, and her voice an anchor on Vi’s thoughts; she finds her gaze swimming back to the present. “I wasn’t there when she died, but if there’s anything I’ve seen from the few times I’ve seen you together…” Cait blinks a few times, as if trying to clear her vision. “You have such a deep bond. Even after all that time, even after everything you’ve done to each other and have been through, you loved each other. I saw it in the way you protected her in that explosion at the camp. I saw it in the way Jinx gave herself up without any hesitation - she thought it was going to save you.” Cait’s eyes harden in thought, as if trying to piece together a puzzle, and the sight of her frown makes Vi almost want to laugh. If there’s anything Cait loves doing, it’s finding answers. “I don’t think her decision to fall was you failing to protect her. Maybe it was her trying to repay the favor. Maybe she was protecting you.” 

Vi considers this, frowning. “Well, she did a pretty shit job. Nothing’s going to protect me from the guilt of knowing she sacrificed herself for me, all because I was stupid enough to think Vander was still in there.” Vi’s eyes prick with tears, and against her will, her chin begins to tremble. “That’s just my problem. I don’t expect people to change.” Vi lets out a shaking breath, trying to ease herself out of a sob. “But they do. They always do.” 

Then she meets Cait’s gaze, and Cait’s eyebrows rise in both concern and regret, and Vi is suddenly hit with a wave of dread. Her thoughts flicker back to that moment in the sewers months ago, the two of them leaning against the wall, warm in the chill of their surroundings. How sincere Cait looked. How hopeful Vi had been. 

And she knows Cait’s thinking exactly what she’s thinking. 

The air around them hangs heavy and dense, and Vi’s shoulders burn under the weight of the moment. She knows what she’s implying, and she knows she has Cait backed into a corner. Suddenly the world around her feels darker, smaller. Like she’s back in her prison cell. 

“I don’t think change is something you can stop,” Cait says, and the way her voice wavers, Vi knows she’s trying to tread cautiously. The distance between them, though minimal, feels too deep and treacherous. “You’re talking about change as if it’s your fault people change. But it’s not, Vi. People change for a lot of reasons. For love. For a greater cause. For grief.” Cait’s eye closes and takes a deep breath, and Vi knows she’s thinking of her mother. “I don’t think it’s stupid for you to hold onto hope for people. If anything, I think it shows how big your heart is. You look for the good in everyone, especially those you care about. That’s a strength a lot of people don’t have.” Cait frowns. “It’s a strength I didn’t have, and look where it landed us. A war on our front step.” 

Vi narrows her eyes and points her gaze at a loose thread of the sheet. She picks at it. “Was it strength when I thought Vander was still in that… that body? If I had just moved like Jinx told me to, she wouldn’t be gone now.” 

Cait’s gaze moves past Vi, to a spot above Vi’s head, as if looking for the answer behind her. She’s quiet for a few moments, and with each passing second, Vi’s heart feels heavier in her chest.

“Jinx made her choice,” Cait says finally, bringing her gaze back to Vi’s. “I know this is so much easier said than done, but you can’t blame yourself for what she chose to do.” 

“Was it really a choice, though?” Vi’s brows furrow, and she can feel the tears burn against her throat again. “I didn’t really give her much of one. I was the one just standing there. If she hadn’t shoved Vander away, it would’ve been me falling instead.” Vi blinks, and for a fleeting moment, she imagines it: her in Jinx’s place, falling right down with Vander. Her being the one to hold onto him. Sure, she would’ve died - but Jinx would’ve been saved. And now a tear slips out. “It should’ve been me.” 

“At what cost?” Cait asks, and the adamancy in her voice makes Vi flinch. It must surprise Cait, too, because she blinks as if the voice wasn’t even hers. Then her eyes soften, and she reaches out and threads her fingers through her hair. The touch brings some semblance of calm over Vi, and she closes her eyes. “You can pretend that sacrificing yourself would have made things better, but they wouldn’t have, Vi. If it was you who fell, I don’t think Jinx would have been able to handle it.” Cait’s brows furrow. “Ekko told me she was about to commit suicide before he convinced her to come. If you had been the one to go, I think that would have just sent her over the edge. I have no doubt she would have jumped right after you and Vander.” Cait tilts Vi’s chin closer gently, urging her to look at her. “Think about it like this. If you had been the one to fall, who, exactly, would you have been saving?”

Vi narrows her gaze at a spot on the mattress as she considers it. She knows there’s some truth to Cait’s words - Jinx might have followed her down. And, for a brief second, an eerie calmness falls over Vi at the thought. At least then we would have been a family again, she thinks selfishly. 

Maybe Cait has a point - maybe there was never going to be a good ending. Someone was going to die at that moment. But still - the regret has been burning a hole through Vi for hours now. 

Was there never another ending? Another future?

For some reason, the question makes Vi’s chest burn with rage. Cait’s asking too much, suggesting too much. Her fist slams into the ground, so hard it shakes the floor around them, and her face falls into the mattress. Her knuckles pulse with pain, and that pain bounces all the way back into her heart and transforms into a sudden wave of desperation, and a sob explodes out of her, so painful she’s convinced her chest has cracked open in half. The fabric around her becomes wet as her tears come pouring down. 

“It’s so unfair,” she seethes, her words muffled by the mattress. Her voice catches in her throat, and another sob cracks her chest like lightning. “All that waiting… all those years wasted in a prison, telling myself that I’ll find her or die trying. And the moment I do… She just fucking leaves.” Her sobs fall easier now, as if some coil in her chest has been released. “It’s not fair.” 

Cait doesn’t say anything, and Vi’s grateful for it. The silence gives her the space for her grief, and she takes every inch of it that she can. In the vicinity of all the high walls and empty space of Cait’s bedroom, Vi’s ears echo with every sob that racks her body, and each echo sends another wave of devastation through her heart. It turns into a vicious cycle of grieving and listening, grieving and listening. 

Then Cait’s hand touches her own, and Vi tilts her head to look at her. Her heart cracks even further at the glistening in Cait’s own eye and the sucking of her bottom lip, as if she’s trying not to break for Vi’s sake. Cait’s thumb rubs over Vi’s bruised knuckles, and even though she feels hollow and exhausted right now, the motion still brings a sense of comfort through her. 

Cait leans forward and kisses Vi’s head, slowly, softly. And when she pulls back, she brushes her thumb over Vi’s cheek.

Even though she doesn’t say anything, her touch feels like an apology. A promise. 

And Vi’s tears come hotter than ever.

Vi’s not sure how long she’s sitting there, ruining Cait’s sheets with her tears, but eventually she opens her eyes again. Except they feel weird - swollen and stiff, like stinging weights on her eyes. Her face feels hot, her nose too heavy. And, as she blinks up, she’s surprised to find only darkness above her. 

With a start, she realizes she’s lying on the ground again. A blanket puddles around her. 

She feels a weight on her waist, and she looks over her shoulder to find Cait on the carpet with her, fast asleep, the tubes and vials removed from her body and a sweater over her. Her chest rises and falls against Vi’s back with each breath she takes. 

Vi’s eyes burn again at the sight of Cait, down on the floor with her, curled up against her, but this time the tears feel lighter. Not happy, but not sad either. Just relieving, like shme’s shrugging off a heavy weight. She tries to keep quiet, but her attempt at holding back her tears makes her start shivering, and Cait’s eye opens. She frowns in confusion, bleary with sleep. But when she searches Vi’s face through the darkness, the furrow in her brows releases, and she moves her hand on Vi’s waist to touch her cheek, her fingers soaking in her tears. She pulls Vi’s head gently towards her, presses her forehead to hers. 

Vi breathes out a sigh. And she lets her eyes flutter close again.

[rafesbangs]

was literally just reading all your work and you write so well!! new fav blog fr, i was wondering (if you're interested) if we could have some rafe x kook bestf!reader fluff, angst kinda one-shot story? thank youuu !! <3

thank you soso much ml !! ofc ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

req! 𝜗𝜚 kook!reader sneaks out to a boneyard kegger, & bsf!rafe gets pretty protective.

c!w; fluff ! for once, bsf!rafe, soft!rafe, possessiveness, overprotective guy friend, icky males, drinking, a brief physical fight, tiny mention of blood, mostly very fluffy with a tinge of angst ! notes; i can't believe this is my first fluff work lol ! i kinda wrote loads oopsie, i hope you enjoy <3

you sneak out of your house, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards. the night air is cool against your skin as you walk through the empty streets, the buzz of the kegger ahead growing louder with each step. it’s just past midnight when you reach the boneyard, the ground is uneven, the sand mixing with beer-stained grass, and the smell of salty air mingles with the faint scent of weed and sweat.

you grab a red solo cup from the keg, its warmth feeling strange against your fingers. your eyes scan the crowd, taking in the sight of everyone laughing, shouting, and dancing—people you mostly know but can never remember their names the next day. you slip into the chaos, easing into conversations, letting the alcohol dull the edges of the night. everything’s blurry, but in a good way, like you can finally breathe.

“hey,” a voice says, way too close to your ear. you turn, finding some random boy—a touron, probably. his blue eyes are too wide, his grin a little too eager. “you’re cute. want a drink?”

you arch an eyebrow, taking a small step back. “no, thanks. i've got one,” you say, trying to keep your tone light. you’re not interested, but you don’t want to be rude.

he doesn’t get the hint. instead, he takes a half-step toward you, leaning in as though he’s trying to get into your personal space. “oh come on, don’t be like that. one drink won’t hurt.”

you cross your arms and take another step back, annoyance creeping up your spine. “i said no, okay?”

he just laughs like it’s some kind of game, and that’s when you start to feel the frustration bubble up. you don’t want to make a scene, but it’s clear this guy doesn’t know how to take a hint. every time you move away, he follows.

“seriously, i’m not interested,” you snap, voice growing more annoyed. “go find someone else.”

the boy’s smile falters, but his hand comes out to touch your arm, a move that feels more possessive than friendly. before you can even say anything else, a shadow cuts through the crowd, and you hear a familiar voice bark, “hey, man, leave her alone.”

you glance over, relief flooding you when you see rafe, your best friend, pushing through the crowd, eyes narrowed and jaw tight. his presence has always been a kind of shield for you, and this time, it’s no different.

the touron boy looks up at rafe, sizing him up like he’s about to say something smart, but rafe doesn’t wait. he steps closer, his voice colder than you’ve ever heard it. “i said, leave her the hell alone.”

the tourist smirks. “or what?”

before you can even blink, rafe’s already moved. his fist connects with the touron's jaw, knocking the boy off balance, and the crowd around you steps back, forming a ring. it’s over before you can process what’s happening—a punch here, a shove there, and the guy crumbles. rafe doesn’t stop. another hit to the stomach, and the touron goes down, blood trickling from his lip.

you’re frozen for a moment, shock settling in your chest, but when rafe finally steps back, you see the blood smeared across his knuckles and the red pooling around his nose. it’s not much, but it’s enough to make your heart stop for a second.

“oh my god, rafe,” you rush to him, your hands hovering at his shoulders as you try to figure out what to do. “are you okay? your nose…”

he swipes at it with the back of his hand, but it only makes it worse. his eyes narrow, his face flushed with anger, but his voice is rough, like he’s trying to convince himself he’s fine. “yeah, i’m fine. it’s just a scratch.”

“rafe…” you trail off, frustration mixing with your worry. you want to help, but he’s already brushing you off, turning his back to you to walk away.

“let’s get out of here,” he mutters, walking toward the edge of the party. you follow, watching him, unsure of what to say. your stomach twists, unsure whether to be relieved that it’s over or angry that he’s hurt, again, because of you.

the two of you make your way down the beach, the sounds of the party growing distant behind you. it’s too quiet, and you can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong.

“you shouldn’t have done that,” you say finally, breaking the silence. you’re still angry, but your voice cracks with worry. “you didn’t have to get into that fight. you could’ve just-”

“and you shouldn’t have snuck out in the middle of the night to get drunk at a kegger alone!” rafe snaps, his voice rougher than usual, and you flinch at the bite in his words. “what the hell were you thinking? you know i worry about you.”

you swallow hard, the sting of his anger hitting you like a slap. “i didn’t mean to… i wasn’t trying to-”

“you’re reckless,” he interrupts, throwing his hands up in frustration, and you step back, feeling the weight of it settle deep in your chest. his words cut through you, sharper than you want to admit, and you stare at the sand beneath your feet.

“i’m sorry,” you say quietly, your voice small now, “i didn’t mean to make you worry. i didn’t-”

rafe stops walking and turns to face you, the moonlight catching the blood on his hands and the jagged split on his knuckles. he looks at you for a long moment, his expression softening just a little.

“it’s not just that,” he mutters, the words barely above a whisper. “i care about you. i don’t want anything to happen to you.”

you feel your chest tighten, your heart fluttering unexpectedly. you step closer to him, unsure of what to say, but then your arms are around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“'m sorry rafe. thank you f'caring, so much about me” you whisper into his shirt, the words soft, sincere. you feel the tension in his body for a moment, like he’s not sure what to do with this closeness, but then he wraps his arms around you too, just a little hesitantly at first, before he holds you tightly.

“don’t thank me,” he mutters, his voice breaking a little. “i’m just... doing what you deserve.”

but when you pull back to look at him, his eyes are full of something else, something that feels a little more vulnerable. you reach up, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, and that’s when you see a tear, slipping down his cheek, a quiet, unexpected crack in his facade.

“rafe…” your voice trembles. “what’s wrong?”

he swallows hard, avoiding your gaze. “it’s just… no one ever thanks me for caring. they just expect me to always be the one looking out for everyone else, but no one ever... gives a damn about me.”

you blink, heart catching in your throat. “that’s not true,” you say, pulling him back in closer, holding him tighter. “i care. i always care.”

he sniffles, his shoulders shaking just slightly as he pulls away, his expression softening but still strained. “dad doesn’t love me 's much as he loves sarah. he’s always telling me how proud he is of her. he- he never says it t'me. and i try so hard. i do everything f'him, everything to make him proud. 'm just invisible to him”

the weight of his words hits you like a punch to the gut, and you squeeze him tighter, not knowing what else to say. “’m so sorry, rafe,” you murmur, your voice thick with emotion. “i can’t imagine what that must feel like. but you’re not invisible t'me. you never will be.”

his breath hitches, and then, finally, he lets go. tears slip down his face now, the kind he’s always kept hidden. you hold him as he breaks down, your arms around him, offering what little comfort you can.

you both sit there in the sand for a long time, the sound of the ocean surrounding you, the night stretching on like a long, quiet exhale. finally, rafe pulls back, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“thanks for being here,” he says, voice still rough, but softer than before. “for… f'caring.”

you smile at him, your heart full. “always, rafe. i’m always here for you.”

when you finally sneak back to your house, you help him up to your room. in the soft glow of your bedroom light, you clean the blood off his hands, gently tending to his wounds. rafe watches you, the affection in his eyes evident as he gazes at you with a softness you don’t see often.

“y'always so damn careful with me,” he murmurs, his voice full of something unspoken.

“'ts because i care,” you whisper, holding his hand in yours, feeling the warmth between you that has always been there.

[sarcasticgaypotato]

The Best Solution

On cold, clear nights that bathed the world in pale blue light, Chell turned her chin up and looked at the sky.

She was not afflicted with the condition known as ‘sentimentality,’ no matter how many scorch-marked, heart-adorned metal cubes got thrown her way and left behind in fields of wheat a hundred miles away. But the ravaged surface world offered her little (save for her own freedom) and the nights were as quiet and lonely as the days, just without an excuse to fill her time by finding something to busy herself with under the light of the sun.

So, she looked upward and let her mind wander.

Every streak of a shooting star she hoped was a certain circular heap of scrap metal finally burning up in the atmosphere.

“Let go! I’m still connected. I can pull myself in.”

Of course he could. If she had given him half a chance, he would’ve pulled himself back in just fine—and let her fly off into space without a second thought if it would save his own steel.

The cold vacuum of space. When she closed her eyes, Chell could still feel it in the wind that tickled the stray hairs on the back of her neck, in the cold that stole the breath from her lungs as she gasped it. That rush of weightlessness, her eyes watering and freezing her eyelashes together, and that pit in her stomach that said, after everything she had survived, this might be it.

She stared up at the moon; a pale white beauty, once near enough for Chell to reach out and touch, now as distant as ever. A sliver in the night sky, it grinned down at her with a smile that knew the taste of her fear. An untouchable queen who would have her head, if she had her way. Chell would have called it as familiar as it was deadly, if not for one thing that nagged at her mind as she stared, lost among stars and memories alike.

This was always the point in her late-night stargazing that Chell started scratching absentmindedly at her wrist, where the phantom burn of cold metal claws still seared into her skin.

Chell never fell for any of GLaDOS’s tricks; she knew her too well. That hate was familiar, expected. Working together in Old Aperture was a surprise only for a moment; it was logical if they wanted to survive. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, or “Everybody likes revenge,” as a certain someone had put it. 

She trusted GLaDOS’s intelligence enough to know that she would play nice for as long as they had a shared goal, and for as long as Chell held all the power. Don’t bite the hand that holds your consciousness trapped in a potato battery, or something like that.

Chell had even been fairly confident that after they beat Wheatley (she never had any doubt that they would), as long as she kept her guard up and an eye on her, GLaDOS wouldn’t risk betraying her. The world’s most intelligent lifeform had finally learned that Chell wasn’t worth crossing—it only took two losing battles for the lesson to sink in.

GLaDOS would keep her end of the bargain as long as it was convenient to do so. That was why Chell couldn’t make sense of what happened. No matter how many times she replayed those seconds in her head, watching her own memories in slow motion as GLaDOS knocked Wheatley free of the chassis and sent him spinning into space, robbing Chell of her only anchor to Earth. 

Freefall. 

Could you call it falling without gravity? Spinning, flailing, her body wrenched outward, seconds away from dying in space, embarrassingly outlived by the very same moron who was responsible for this whole mess. In the second that she had to process her impending death, Chell took a small hint of satisfaction in knowing that at least she took him down with her. Sure, the lack of air wouldn’t kill him as quickly as it would her, but he was far from a self-proclaimed king of Aperture out here. He was nothing but a hunk of junk destined to get knocked around by asteroids like a pinball. At least GLaDOS had a death worth bragging about under her non-existent belt; Chell had blown her to bits in what she would humbly call ‘a spectacular fashion.’

GLaDOS. Was her last thought before unconsciousness took her going to be about GLaDOS? How apt. GLaDOS would’ve loved to hear that, not that Chell would’ve ever told her, even if she had the chance.

She wouldn’t have the chance. She wasn’t supposed to.

When Chell felt that familiar metal claw clamp around her wrist, the first thought her fading consciousness could conjure was that GLaDOS wanted to be personally responsible for flinging her out into space, maybe so she could get a good spin on the throw. The realization that GLaDOS was pulling her in, back towards Earth, to safety, was one that proved entirely too much for her oxygen-deprived brain to process. So, she passed out.

GLaDOS could have done nothing at all, and Chell would have died. If she wanted the satisfaction of doing it herself, she could have crushed her under a metal plate or thrown her in the incinerator while she was unconscious. Instead, GLaDOS saved her life, watched over her recovery until she awoke, and then … let her go with only a bit of theatrics and nothing else. 

She pinned the blame on Caroline and made a big show of deleting her, neither of which Chell believed for a second. That golden eye took her in, unflinching, with the same inscrutable expression before and after the automated voice cheerfully announced Caroline’s removal. A long dead secretary Chell had never crossed paths with had nothing to do with this; there was no difference between the GLaDOS that pulled her from space and the GLaDOS who watched the elevator ascend to the surface now.  

This was all her, and she was supposed to give them both a satisfying conclusion to them parting ways with weapons lowered, standing (even if one of them didn’t have legs) on equal ground. GLaDOS was supposed to make this easy by sending her off with an insult or a half-hearted threat of one last murder attempt for old times’ sake.

“Killing you is hard.”

Liar. 

Killing me would have been easy if you wanted to.

Why didn’t you want to?

[shiftthemoon]

reality shifting isn’t hard. you’ve been told it’s hard because everyone’s too scared to admit it’s not. they cling to their 800-step methods, their must-have crystals, their perfect conditions because they think that if they let go of that control, they’ll fail. but here’s the thing: the more you try to control the process, the more you convince yourself it’s out of your control. and that’s the problem. that’s why so many people feel stuck. shifting isn’t some big, far-fetched thing. it’s just you. it’s always been you.

we’re conditioned to think we’re powerless. think about it—school, work, society, all of it drills this idea into us that everything has to be proven, earned, validated. so, when you hear about shifting, your brain freaks out and says, wait, wait, this is too easy, this can’t be real. and then you spiral. you overcomplicate it. you make yourself think you need the “perfect” script, the “right” subliminal, or that you have to meditate for three hours while the stars align perfectly. like, no… you don’t. all of that? it’s fluff. it’s noise.

at its core, shifting is belief. just belief. no, really, let that sink in. you don’t need to “do” belief perfectly. it’s not something you master through sheer willpower. it’s something you already have. you’ve believed in things your whole life. you believed in gravity without needing proof. you believe your favorite songs are beautiful without needing to explain why. belief is natural. it’s effortless when you stop overthinking it. that’s the energy you need to bring to shifting—trust. trust that your mind knows what it’s doing, and that if you let it, it will take you there. every single extra thing you pile on? the overthinking, the doubt, the need for guarantees? that’s what’s slowing you down. not the “lack of progress,” not some mythical “block”—it’s you convincing yourself it’s harder than it is.

and let’s talk about social media for a second. oh my god, the shifting community on social media… i get it. it’s comforting to see other people on this journey. but let’s be honest—how much of that content is actually helping you? like, really? 90% of the time, scrolling through shifting advice isn’t inspiring; it’s overwhelming. everyone’s got their own opinions, their own “best methods,” their own rules. one person says scripting is a must, another says it’s a waste of time. one person swears by affirmations, another says visualization is the only way. and before you know it, you’re sitting there questioning everything you thought you knew, wondering if you’ll ever get it “right.” spoiler alert: you already know how to shift. you don’t need a thousand voices telling you what to do. in fact, the more you listen to them, the harder it becomes to hear yourself.

take a break. seriously. log off the apps. give yourself space to breathe and think. ask yourself: why do i want to shift? what’s stopping me? what feels right to me? no tiktok trend, youtube guide, or reddit post can answer those questions for you. only you can. and i know that sounds scary. we’ve been conditioned to think we need external validation for everything, but shifting is a deeply personal thing. you don’t need a step-by-step tutorial. you need to trust your instincts. that’s it.

and let me be clear: i’m not saying methods or subliminals are bad. they’re fine if they help you feel aligned. but they’re not what makes shifting happen. you are. methods are just tools. if you use them, great. if you don’t, that’s great too. because the truth is, shifting isn’t about doing things “right.” it’s about letting go of the idea that you need to.

so let me break it down for you. the only things you really need to shift are:

1. a desire. you have to want to go to your desired reality. no brainer, right?

2. belief. this is the big one. you have to trust it’s possible. no “what ifs,” no “but hows.” just trust.

3. persistence. if it doesn’t happen right away, that’s okay. don’t give up. if you’ve ever learned to ride a bike, you know that falling doesn’t mean you can’t do it—it just means you’re learning. shifting is the same.

that’s it. no fancy rituals, no endless research, no “perfect” conditions. the process is simple because it’s natural. you’ve probably done it before without even realizing it— the only reason it feels hard now is because you’ve convinced yourself it has to be.

stop making it harder than it needs to be. shifting isn’t this unattainable, mystical thing reserved for “chosen ones.” it’s something anyone can do. you can do it. your mom can do it. that anti-shifter lurking in every crevice of shiftblr could do it. you’ve always been capable. but you have to stop getting in your own way. stop doubting yourself. stop relying on others to tell you what’s possible. this is your journey. own it.

and above all, be patient. shifting is not a race. it’s not about how fast you can get there or how perfect your dr is. it’s about trust, intention, and focus. log off, tune into yourself, and let it happen. shifting has always been yours to claim. it’s not something you need permission for. it’s not something you need to earn. it’s just you, your mind, and your belief. always has been, always will be.

[yourgentlegirlfriend]

The space between

Chapter One: The Cameron’s

AN; Hi! I haven’t posted in forever but, I’m writing this new series, I posted it on wattpad first, but decided to just post it here as well, I hope everyone enjoys! No warnings for the first chapter.

Moving across the United States solely for her fathers selfish intent was definitely not enjoyable.

She had tried everything, asking to stay with her aunt, her godmother, getting her own apartment.

Yet her father had a good point. She couldn’t afford to live alone in California- they already struggled as a family, what made her think she could somehow push it alone?

The central valley, the farming area of California, not the sunny, beachy, enjoyable part. More like constant cow shit smell, allergies from shaken trees and lots of traffic.

Her dad was a hard working man. Always trying to keep the family up, and so was her mom. Growing up a farmers daughter wasn’t easy. Handed down clothes, same shoes for all four years of high school. Yet she had everything she ever wanted and more, what could she complain about?

The front door swung open, her father basically chasing after her as she threw her bag on the ground and stomped into the kitchen to see her mom cooking.

“You are allowing this?”

Eve yelled, her moms eyes growing a bit wide as she set the knife down to turn to her husband who stood next to her daughter out of breath from chasing her up the long driveway.

“It’s not in my hands.”

Eves mother shrugged as she picked the silver knife back up, chopping at the carrots.

Eve let out a laugh as she rubbed her forehead then looked at her dad.

“North Carolina? That’s across the country dad.”

Eves dad, Carlos, frowned, his hands gripping at his cap that he now held in his hands, his facial hair growing grayer by the day.

“Sweetheart, it’s too much to live here- farms not doing good, we don’t sell like we did when you were a baby. I got a great opportunity over there.”

Suddenly, Eve felt guilty for acting like she did, her heart rate slowing drastically as her lips turned downwards. She quickly stepped forward, her arms wrapping around her dad as she squeezed him, nodding her head as her chin rested on his shoulder.

“Alright.”

It all happened so quickly after that.

Some wealthy family bought out their land in a matter of days, giving them just the perfect amount of money to make that horrid trip.

It felt like months but in reality it only took two days to get to their new house. The main problem was, they weren’t really able to see the house they bought till they arrived.

It wasn't horrible, simple three bedroom house, the neighbors were pretty quiet too. Everything was to quiet. Seeing her dad happy like he was is what made the move worth it.

That new house feeling is always hard to shake off. Eve sat on the front porch, writing in her journal when she heard the sound of tires against the gravel of the driveway. Her eyes shot up to see a truck pulling in, her thumb clicking at her pen as she tilted her head back towards the kitchen window.

“Dad! Somebody’s here!”

Her dad usually replied fast but she got silence, rolling her eyes as she closed her journal and stood up, hearing somebody walk up the steps, The creaking making her head snap back almost instantly as she set her stuff down on the chair.

“Can I help you?”

A tall man, he looked clean, like he was from the bay area where she was from but she knew that probably couldn’t be true. The nice plaid shirt he wore tucked into his jeans, his facial hair gruff yet cleaned up. He probably had the most perfect teeth she’d ever seen.

“Carlos here?”

The older man asked as he pulled off his sunglasses, his blue eyes squinting as she looked him up and down, a concerned look on her face.

“Who’s asking?”

His chuckle made her upper lip curl slightly, about to introduce himself before her dad swung the front door open, wiping the oil off his hands.

“Mr.Cameron, So sorry I was over in the garage.”

“Please, Just call me Ward.”

Eve felt a bitter taste in her mouth as she grabbed her journal and pens and went to walk past her dad who gripped at her shoulder.

“This is my daughter Eve.”

Eve let out a quiet sigh, looking at her dad and tucking her journal under her arm before she turned around and put on a smile, her arm extending as she shook his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasures mine- I wanted to formally invite you to dinner at my house tonight, thought we could discuss some of the things we talked about over the phone?”

Ward spoke as Eve pushed past her dad and turned the corner, staying against the wall to listen to their conversation.

“I can bring my family?”

Carlos asked as he set his gloves down on the small shelf by the front door.

“Of course please, bring everyone.”

Ward laughed, patting Carlos’ shoulder before he began to walk down the steps of the porch.

“Seven pm okay? I’ll make sure I send you the address!”

As soon as her dad shut the door she turned from the corner, ready to protest but Carlos put his hand up and went to walk down the hallway.

“You’re going- I don’t wanna hear it.”

He spoke sternly as he washed his hands in the kitchen, Looking over as Eve leaned against the doorframe.

“I don’t even have nice clothes.”

Carlos rolled his eyes, drying his hands with a towel before digging into his back pocket and pulling out a crisp fifty dollar bill.

“Don’t tell your mom.”

Eve couldn’t help but smile as she grabbed the bill from his hand, kissing his cheek softly and grabbing the keys from the shelf and walking down the driveway.

Her first time going into town and she looked like.. shit. Her shorts torn up, and the one shirt she had on. She shrugged as she slipped on her sunglasses, starting up her dads truck.

No clue where she was going, she pulled up to a curb at the start of a strip of stores. Living this close to the water would definitely have to be something she would need to get use to. She shoved the trucks keys into her pocket and tugged at the door to make sure it was locked.

The sunglasses pulled the strands of her hair back as she slipped them over her head when she stepped into a store, Thankfully it was the perfect time of year for dresses, Eves hands separated the hangers looking for her size, not looking up when she heard the jingle of the bell again. She pulled one of the hangers off the rack looking at a beautiful solid black dress, her fingers digging for the tag. A huff of air leaving her as she saw the price, quickly putting it back.

Almost literally jumping out of her skin as one of the employees suddenly showed up right beside her, her body having a physical reaction as she jumped back and almost fell into the rack of jackets behind her.

“Need help finding something?”

She could hear her heart beating in her ears, but she shook her head with a slight laugh.

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

Eve nodded as she started looking at the dresses again, side eyeing the employee who stood in the same exact place.

“If I have any questions I of course would let you know.”

Eve spoke awkwardly, not sure what her reasoning was for just standing there. Eve cleared her throat and stepped back with one of the dresses, the employee's hand reaching out to reorganize the rack.

“That’s a seventy five dollar dress.”

The woman laughed slightly as Eve looked at the mirror holding it up to her frame, her eyebrows frowning as she looked over at her.

“Okay?”

She couldn’t help but scoff as she held the hanger in her hand still, what was she trying to say? She was having a really hard time grasping exactly what she meant- if she even had a point.

“I think you should go.”

The woman pulled the dress from Eves hands, making her laugh in disbelief, right when she was about to speak, another girl from behind her spoke

“And what If she had the money to pay for it? You want that dress? I’ll buy it for you, If it’s really that serious.”

The girl looked just as agitated as Eve, her head tilted as the employee rolled her eyes and handed the girl the dress.

“Sure Sarah.”

Sarah.

Eve turned the Sarah who was putting the dress back on the rack, her head tilting towards the door.

“There’s a better place down the street trust me, don’t give them your money.”

“I’m Eve by the way.”

Sarah nodded as she walked out the door. Eve followed cautiously, looking behind her with squinted eyes as she tried to see if there was a number she could call to complain.

Sarah noticed, shaking her head as her and Eve walked side by side.

“This strip doesn’t really have corporate numbers- they probably mistreat people all the time because of pogue status you know.”

What? Eve looked at Sarah confused as they walked into the new shop.

“What’s a pogue?”

Sarah was already ahead of her, flipping through racks with the ease of someone who had done this a thousand times. “You’ve got to try this one,” she said, holding up a sleek black dress that clung to her fingers.

Eve shook her head quickly. “I don’t think black’s my color.”

Sarah rolled her eyes but didn’t argue, instead pulling another gown off the rack. This one was a soft lavender, the fabric so light it seemed to look almost see through. “What about this? It’s subtle but stunning. Perfect for you.”

Eve hesitated, glancing at the price tag. Her stomach dropped. “Sarah, I can’t afford this,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the music.

Sarah waved her off, tossing the dress into Eve’s arms. “Don’t worry about it. My dad’s got a tab here. Just try it on.”

But Eve didn’t believe in luck like that, especially considering she has no plans on leaving her house just like she did back at home. The town truthfully was beautiful though, riding with her windows down gave her a feeling she hadn’t felt once in her life.

Once she got back home, she walked into the house seeing her mom curling her hair, yelling at her younger sister, making her quietly step into her room to get ready.

The dress fit her perfectly, the dark purple fabric going down to her shins, knowing if it had went any higher her mom would’ve thrown a fit about modesty. She walked out the kitchen, seeing her dad trying to clip his watch on his own, her heels clicking as she stepped over to him and grabbed the watch from his wrist, carefully clipping it on for him.

“My beautiful.”

Her dad smiled as he kissed her forehead, making her smile as she fixed his collar for him.

“Please be good, Mr.Cameron is a good man, with lots of money. We need this.”

Eve looked up at her dad and nodded her head as she held the necklace he had made for her in her hand.

“I wouldn’t mess up anything for you, I don’t have it In me.”

The drive to Cameron's house felt longer than it should’ve. Watching the houses go from one to two stories, to green lawns to gated communities definitely made her rethink where they stayed.

Seeing her dad pull into the curved driveway, her eyes probably sparkling as she stared at the large house it led up to. That's why he dressed like he did. Of course they had to sit in the car and listen to her dads seven minute pep talk about what they can and cannot say, by the time it was time to go inside all her anxiety had bubbled up to a point she was scared she was going to really say something stupid now.

Carlos reached for the handle on the door and knocked, listening to the rhythm echo through the huge home in front of them. Eve fixed her posture as the door swung open, the man from earlier today having a wide smile on his face as he shook her dads hand and greeted her mom and sisters.

Forcing her smile once again as she greeted him, thanking him for inviting them to her home. The thank you wasn’t forced though, the house was huge. Probably the biggest place she’s ever been- in her life. Her eyes ran up the staircase that was right in front of the front door, her heels clicking against their floor as the adults quickly made their way into the kitchen area, already rambling on about the drive across the country and old farmland.

Eve walked into the living room area, the lights off and the moon shining through the windows. She walked closer to the large frames, looking out to see the breathtaking view, her hands resting at her sides as she heard the muffled conversation from the room over.

What could somebody possibly do for a job to be able to live like this? Her gaze switched from the window to the beautiful pottery on the small tables in the room, her fingers grazing over the table, way too scared to touch the pots in fear they would somehow crumble beneath her finger tips.

“Eve?”

Eves head turned instantly at the familiar voice, smiling slightly to see the girl she had met earlier today, in a beautiful orange dress, her hair curled as she smiled back at her.

“Sarah-“

She hurried over to her, laughing in confusion as she looked her up and down.

“You look- beautiful.”

Sarah smiled, tipping her head slightly as her hands pushed out to clap slightly.

“I mean look at you, I picked out the perfect dress right? This was the dinner you mentioned?”

Eve nodded awkwardly as she rubbed her arm, was this her family's house? How embarrassing she didn’t even know or remember their last name when she was asked about it earlier in the day.

“Ward is your dad?”

Eve asked as they started to walk to the dining room area.

“Yep. Sarah Cameron, that’s me.”

How awkward. Eve couldn’t help but admire the life that Sarah had laid in front of her, yet she was still so kind. Lost in her own thoughts, Eve was taken aback when Sarah grabbed her arm and stopped her just short of the dining room entrance.

“There’s this thing going on tonight, at my boyfriend's house. You should come. You can meet some people.”

Yeah, she was way too nice. Eve stared at her for a few seconds before she looked into the dining hall to see Ward and her dad laughing, Rose and her mom admiring each other's outfits.

“I don’t know.. my dad he’s super strict, never lets me leave the house.”

Sarah gave her an exasperated look, but before Eve could finish her protest, Sarah swept into the room.

“Where is Rafe?” she asked, her voice carrying just enough to catch Ward’s attention.

Ward looked up from the conversation he was having with Carlos, his brow furrowing slightly before waving a dismissive hand. “You know how he is,” he said with a chuckle, returning to the discussion about farmland and markets.

Eve shrugged, hoping that would be the end of it. Sarah shook her head and grabbed both of her arms.

“I’ll tell them that we met earlier today and we instantly clicked, you’re telling me your dad doesn’t want you making friends?”

“Who’s Rafe?”

The girl asked as a course was set in front of them, her stomach grumbling as she realized she really hadn’t eaten a single thing today.

Ward cut off Sarah as she went to speak.

“My son, told him we were having guests but unfortunately he missed your family's wonderful presence.”

Eve laughed as she took a bite of the food, her eyebrows frowning as she looked down at the plate, her hand covering her mouth.

“What is this? That’s delicious.”

The table laughed at her sincere reaction, silence lingering as everyone ate before Sarah chimed in.

“Dad, could Eve stay the night? I know it seems like we just met twenty minutes ago but we met earlier today down at the strip.”

Ward was a bit too enthusiastic to say yes, looking over at Carlos who was staring at Eve. Knowing he hated it when he was put on the spot for things like this.

“I have no problem with it all.”

What a horrible liar. Eve couldn’t help but smile as she looked over at Sarah, taking another bite of her food as she winked at her.

——————————————————————

“Don’t fall though”

Sarah gasped as Eve climbed down through the window holding onto the frame, the two laughing as they ran across the yard holding their shoes in their hands.

Once they got to the actual street, Sarah said it wasn’t far to her boyfriends house so the two walked down the sidewalk, the crickets almost as loud as them.

The walk was pretty silent, Sarah must’ve noticed Eve admiring all the big houses, her gaze constantly away from the road.

“You’re quiet,” she finally said, glancing over.

Eve shrugged, her eyes still fixed on the street ahead. “Just… admiring how different this place is from where I grew up.”

Sarah laughed, a sound as light as the breeze. “Yeah, it’s pretty here, I guess. But after a while, it all just feels… the same. You’ll see what I mean.”

Once the two showed up, Sarah tugged her through the crowd of people and let go of her, running over to a boy and jumping on his back, her mood quickly shifted once she jumped off his back and smacked the arm of another boy across from her, even though eve was far from the scene she could tell they were arguing.

Eve stepped forward, smiling slightly as she cleared her throat. Sarah’s gaze went from the boy back to her, sighing as she grabbed Eves shoulder.

“This is Eve,” Sarah said, her tone slightly clipped. “Her family just moved here. Her dad’s working with ours. Eve, this is Rafe.”

Rafe turned to her then, his blue eyes piercing as they met hers. For a moment, the noise around them faded, and all Eve could hear was her own heartbeat, he was tall, and he seemed slightly out of it, his eyes hazy and a lazy smirk on his face.

“Rafe,” he said, his voice low and smooth as he extended his hand.

“Eve,” she replied, slipping her hand into his. His grip was firm, his hand warm against hers, and the contact sent a strange jolt up her arm.

"She's from California," Sarah added quickly, her tone sharp as she stood next to Topper, who offered a casual nod and introduced himself without much enthusiasm.

"So, you're full Kook, huh? Must be expensive out there," Topper quipped with a smug grin, swirling the drink in his hand.

Eve furrowed her brows, confused. Kook? What was that supposed to mean?

"What's a Kook?" she asked, glancing between them.

Rafe chuckled low, his smirk growing as he took a deliberate sip of his drink. The way his blue eyes lingered on her made her feel like the punchline to an inside joke she wasn’t in on.

"Just... don’t worry about it," Sarah sighed, clearly exasperated as she stepped over to a small drink station. She poured a glass and handed it to Eve.

"Yeah," Rafe drawled, leaning against the wall with casual confidence. "Don’t trouble yourself with the losers down there in the Cut." His tone was smooth, but there was a distinct edge, as though he relished the jab.

Eve accepted the drink from Sarah, still trying to piece together what was going on. "The Cut? What’s that supposed to mean?"

Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered under her breath, "Oh God, here we go..." before shooting a warning glance at Rafe.

"It means," Rafe said, stepping closer, his voice dripping with mock sympathy, "you’re better off sticking with the right crowd. You wouldn’t want to end up on the wrong side of town."

Eve narrowed her eyes, her grip tightening on the glass. The way he said it left a sour taste in her mouth, but before she could respond, Sarah cut in.

“Let me show you the view, it's insane.”

Sarah grabbed her arm, looking back at Rafe and Topper with a warning glance before she dragged Eve away.

Her grip on the drink tightened as a wave of embarrassment crept in. What did he mean by “the wrong side of town?” Was it obvious that she didn’t belong here?

Sarah’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s... complicated.”

Eve forced a smile, nodding even though she wasn’t sure what to say. “Complicated” was putting it lightly. She could still feel the weight of Rafe’s gaze, as if he’d peeled back a layer of her she wasn’t ready to share.

Sarah leaned against the railing of the porch, the wind blowing through her hair.

“Please really don’t take what Rafe, or what anybody says. A lot of them are pretty.. well dumb.”

Sarah and Eve laughed together, Sarah frowning slightly to see Eve swirl her drink around in her hand.

“I’ll be honest my dad had to drag me here, I left my whole life behind to be here.”

Eve spoke with a nod as she took a sip of the nasty mixed drink, licking her lips as Sarah nodded.

“I get it. You’re feeling out of place but it takes time, I promise you.”

Eve went to speak again but was cut off by the door swinging open. “

Sarah,” Rafe spoke with a sigh, his tone casual but somehow charged, “Kelce’s looking for you. Something about needing help with the keg.”

Sarah groaned, rubbing her forehead. “He’s a grown man; he can figure it out.”

“Yeah, well,” Rafe drawled, “he’s not doing a great job of proving that right now.”

Sarah gave Eve a small smile. “I’ll be right back. Don’t let him scare you.”

Eve tried to laugh, but it came out more as a nervous chuckle. As Sarah disappeared into the house, Eve found herself alone with Rafe.

[lexicorp]

Transformers Earthspark: Another Place, Another Prison

Star does indeed get his meeting with Hashtag he scored with his deal with Megatron. Although, as most things, it doesn't exactly go favorably. The chaos energy shit and his damn 10k layered trauma ratatouille is not exactly making things easy for anyone. I REALLY want these two to reconcile at some point, yet alas, this is certainly not that chapter-

Also--Bee was absolutely about to be baited into fighting Star at the end before Tag interrupts lmao

Previous Chapter: Lingering Ghosts

First Chapter: A Need For Read

Next Chapter: A Broken Boogeyman

Chapter 5: Perception

Starscream had rounded the perimeter of the cell approximately 175 times now. It was a respectable number to end on, so he decided to take a seat against the wall. Megatron was certainly taking his time in fulfilling his side of their deal. Perhaps he had decided to simply forgo upholding his word. That would be disappointing. Although admittedly unsurprising.

His wings perked at the sound of pedsteps through the corridor, but drooped when he recognized that it was his audials playing tricks on him again. 

“Ey what’s the plan commander? I’m dyin’ in ‘ere!” Swindle complained, and the noise made Starscream’s optic twitch red.

“I’m working on it!” He growled. 

“Starscream: Moping.” Soundwave commented just so helpfully as the stoic mech also sat on his aft in the cell across from him.

“I am not!” Starscream’s vocalizer betrayed him with a high pitched squeal, and he cleared his throat. “I do not need to entertain any of you glitches. Just because my processor insists on projecting you, does not make you worthy of my attention. Leave me be and jet yourselves back into space why don’t you.” Starscream waved a servo as if he could send them away with the gesture. 

It only partially worked, as Soundwave’s form found it pertinent to displace itself to a less casual moment in time. When Mandroid had been given free reign to select any one of them as lab rodents to be experimented upon. The blue mech’s servos and peds were tightly bound to leave him splayed out upon the ground for scrambling little human pests to defile his circuits. They hadn’t even severed his sensors for the operation. They’d just popped open panels and prodded around like maggots deconstructing a living corpse. 

Starscream’s frame locked up as his spark felt constricted in his chassis. His vents had stopped. He knew it wasn’t real. Perhaps he shouldn’t have angered the illusion. Now he was stuck rewatching the disgusting scene as samples of the mech’s frame were being sawed off barbarically, the internal wiring being strewn about, and those cursed injections of more than questionable substances. The array of equipment echoed dreadfully in his audials.

Suddenly, the world spazzed again, and one of the G.H.O.S.T agents hovered sinisterly in front of his cell. Staring. Scrutinizing him with an air of hunger on its faceless mask. Like a predacon reveling in the power it held over its prey. Savoring not just its victory over its victims, but sadistically devouring the gruesome process itself. The creature simply found joy in their suffering, and lingered in a promise for what Starscream knew had happened next.

Then, there was Skullcruncher. Starscream heard the croctobot shift in the cell beside him, and his helm was inadvertently drawn to face it. The frame he saw wasn’t right. The lighting wasn’t right. It was dim and hazy, but he vaguely identified Skullcruncher as he shambled towards the barrier separating them. The sturdy beast was painfully caught between his bot and alt modes. Plating bent, warped, and twisted in ways it should not have been able to manage. His faceplate distorted with shadow and melting metal so that his optics and dentas stuck out in an unnerving, unnatural manner. 

The raspy voice box of the creature spoke to him. It sounded like too many different vocalizers at once for him to discern.

“You deserve what has come to you, Starscream. It’s your fault. You didn’t help us. You only helped yourself. How could you?”

Starscream yelped and scrambled back until he hit the opposing corner. His wings vibrated, crimson lightning flickering between them, and he barely registered them scraping against the wall. 

“You did this.” 

The words dug into his audials and he slapped his servos over his receptors like it could save him. “No no, shut up.” Starscream hissed as he glared at his knees, then his vocalizer cracked a chuckle. “You’re not real! It’s not real!” He sang manically. “You can’t trick me. No no no no…”

“You’ll never escape, Starscream. You have no allies that would bother to help you.”

“Hehe-” His vents were cycling far too quickly to aid his addled processor as he muttered, “I’m not listening to you. I don’t have to listen to you. Leave me alone.”

“...Who are you talking to?”

Starscream shrieked and flung his helm backwards in surprise at the suddenly crisp, external sound that questioned him. His optics shot in its direction to see exactly the Terran he so desperately wanted to see. He excitedly sprung to his peds and spread out his servos earnestly.

“HASHTAG!” Starscream greeted perhaps a bit too loudly, then swiftly stepped closer before finding a bit of hesitation and slowing his approach. “I-it’s so good to see you–heh- how-h-how have you been?? After… well, uh–”

“After you stole the Emberstone, nearly killed everyone I care about, and forced Terratronus to start destroying Witwicky?” She finished snarkily with crossed arms and an angry look on her faceplate. 

“Yes… that. But we can put that whole debacle behind us! We each got a couple good jabs at the other– what’s a few bouts of blaster fire between friends, right?” He waved his servos around animatedly and his vocalizer was a bit too high pitched for his liking, but that was a silly concern.

“You’re crazy.” Hashtag stated decidedly with far too much contempt, and continued with bitterness bleeding through her tone, “I can’t believe I ever believed in you! How could you do that!? I see now that you are just– worse than Megatron ever could have been.”

Starscream’s wings flicked stiffly behind him and his widened optics glitched between their red and blue as he took a step back. He was horrified. At what exactly, he couldn’t decide. She hated him– She didn’t understand– She was wrong. His wings shifted up and down erratically to relieve even a fraction of the pent up energy clawing at his spark. His servos shook and his optics darted across different points of his surroundings, occasionally landing on Hashtag before looking away again.

“I- You-!” Starscream had lifted a digit with the intent of confronting the Terran’s accusation, encouraged by that damned chaotic crimson corrupting his vision. But did he really have the right to berate her? A parasite nagged at his impulses that he should crush her voice box for her impertinence. He should tell her just how foolish of a proclamation she had made. Give her a verbal assault equal to the one he’d given Megatron. How dare she turn on him like this.

Yet with his sparing glances at her faceplate, even with the assured determination she held herself with, he saw glimpses of fear in her stance. This deepened the pit in his tank. Was he scaring her somehow? That wasn’t what he wanted. How could he have those thoughts?! Perhaps she did have a right to be angry with him after all…

Starscream in-vented, then tried his best to smile and smooth his vocalizer. “Come now, Hashtag, let’s not be brash.” He chuckled halfheartedly. “I’m sure you don’t mean that! Believe me, it was never my intention to damage you or your terran siblings. All you really had to do was step aside while I– what I mean to say is– i-it wasn’t about you, I just-” Oh that sounded bad didn’t it?

Hashtag scoffed, “Not about me? Woooow, thanks. That totally makes what you did alright. Except it doesn’t. You know, you’re lucky we’ve kept Spitfire and Aftermath from coming in here to give you a piece of their mind! What about what you did to them, huh!? I don’t care if it wasn’t about me, you still hurt and endangered so many people for some stupid power buff!”

Starscream stared at her blankly for some time as her words loaded in his processor. They’ve kept Sprite and A.M. from coming here… that means the sparklings were moving! Of course they saw it fit to come back online as soon as he was out of the picture. He knew it.

Starscream’s grin widened at the revelation, “I KNEW IT!” He said so suddenly that Hashtag flinched in surprise and looked at him with that same strange expression Megatron had worn, paired with a dash of confusion at his proclamation. He straightened himself to regain what composure he could before tilting a servo to enlighten her. “See, I knew those two never required those Embershards to function! I was right! They were just playing a petty, silly little game to get back at me when we were trapped up there in the Titan. Did they just need whatever fuel you Terrans need? Did you somehow collect a higher dose of the chaos energy that I could not? Or did they simply arise after I departed?” He tilted his hip snarkily and crossed his arms. “If that is the case I will have quite the word with Sprite about her rather rude, meager communications she chose to send me instead of contributing.”

Hashtag’s intake hung open stupidly before her faceplate scrunched in bafflement. “...What?”

Starscream thought he had explained himself quite well. He rolled his optics and impatiently urged her to answer his query, “At what point did they decide to come online?”

“Decide?? You killed them! We were only able to bring them back with a crazy idea to toss them into the chaos cloud junk with the spear! Of course anime has never done me wrong and it totally worked– but they weren’t deciding to be dead! What’s wrong with you!?” Hashtag was throwing her servos around in some ill placed frustration as she spouted nonsense.

“They weren’t dead, they were in stasis from their regretable damages.” Starscream tried to clarify. He wasn’t crazy. He knew exactly what was going on.

“Dude you can’t be this delusional. What weird space rock did you eat up there?”

“I’m not delusional.” Starscream snapped with a flash of red in his optics before he reeled himself in again. “If they were permanently offline, then there would have been no possible way Sprite could have pinged my communicator!”

Hashtag blinked and shook her helm as she partially recognized what he’d said. “Sprite…? You mean Spitfire??” She actually looked fondly amused before she forcefully refocused herself, “No– ugh, c’mon man! That makes absolutely no sense. Maybe she was like, haunting you, or something–that would definitely make for some good cinema– but I’m pretty darn sure they were dead-dead for a while there. They looked very dead to me.”

Starscream threw his servos in the air, “Well maybe she was a good actor all along! I’m not crazy!! And I am most definitely not hearing things!!” His wings shuttered as the chaos energy pulled at his circuits. “Believe what you want if you enjoy being wrong–” Lightning shot through his frame and he shook his helm in a hopeless effort to stave the crimson from his optics– “You…You’re just a confused sparkling that doesn’t understand the nuances of the situation– STOP FRAGGING LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT OR I SWEAR I’LL DESTROY THIS PATHETIC BARRIER!” 

That slagger Bumblebee ran up from his post at the sector’s entrance to plant himself between Starscream and Hashtag defensively. “HEY! Cool it Screamer! Don’t make me cut your playdate short!”

The corrupted power of the Emberstone erupted from Starscream’s frame, causing that wretched shaking and haze in his optics. “BUT OUT BUG! This doesn’t concern you!” He growled with a stance rearing for a fight.

“I think it does, actually. Especially with whatever this is.” The bumbling bot whirled a servo in Starscream’s general direction rudely. 

“Oh REALLY?” He laughed darkly, “You honestly think you are of any use here?! You could never hope to stand against me, scout. Now step aside. Or do you wish to come in here and prove what little prowess you might possess?”

The bug scoffed, “I’m not going to fight you right now Starscream.”

“Coward.”

Before Bumblebee could respond, Hashtag frantically yelled: “STOP!!” Once she’d gained their attention she in-vented sharply and placed a servo on the bug’s shoulder plating. “Just- c’mon Bee, this was stupid… let’s just go.”

“WHAT? You- you can’t just leave–” Starscream stressed angrily. How dare she try to walk away from their conversation!

“You can’t tell me what to do!” She snapped at him before stomping away down the corridor. The bug stared at Starscream a moment longer before hopping away to catch up with Hashtag. 

Blue battled for control of his optics and his vents quickened, then he scrambled as close as he could towards them with an extended servo. “WAIT! Wait– please– w-we can- we can still talk about this- I’m sorry I– I didn’t mean it! Please Hashtag, I’m sorry if I scared you, don’t–don’t leave!”

She only spared him one last glance as she tightly hugged her frame, her faceplate full of hurt that he’d foolishly caused. Then the door closed.

“NO! No…no-” Starscream’s servo slowly lowered partway before balling into a fist, “UGH WHY DID I DO THAT?!” He slammed it against the barrier before slumping down to his knees pathetically with a whine. Then voiced Hashtag’s question in a whisper, “What is wrong with me…?”

Nothing about that had gone as it should have. 

Starscream had wanted to have a casual, friendly conversation where they could possibly reconcile. Where maybe he could’ve gotten her to understand, and forgive him. Perhaps even get her to pass a good word to the Autobots! But then he had to go and open his big fat glossia, and say literally all the wrong things. 

When had it devolved so horribly?? He hadn’t thought it was going that bad! Sure, It had often periodically become more confrontational than he had hoped, but he should have been prepared for that. He should have rehearsed his approach better. Why hadn’t he prepared? He’d had the time, hadn’t he?

Yet all he’d managed to do was frag things up more than they already were. Now how was he going to get out of here?! Jump one of the glitches if they decide to bring him energon…? That had too many ways to go awry, but it might be his only chance.

Or… Perhaps, he could get this Primus damned power that infected him to actually be useful…

[mclarengf]

thinking about… trying to bake with daniel ricciardo

note: if danny ricc has a million fans, i am one of them. if danny ricc has ten fans, i am one of them. if danny ricc has only one fan, then that one fan is me. if danny ricc has no fans, then that means i am no longer on this earth. if the world is against danny ricc, then i am against the world. (happy holidays!!)

—

it’s christmas eve and daniel has instigated a food fight. you’re supposed to be making a pavlova to bring to his parents’ house tomorrow, but daniel’s seemingly decided that flicking meringue onto your face three times in a row is a good idea.

he looks away every time, whistling as if he’s done nothing wrong. you narrow your eyes at the back of his head, waiting for him to crack.

“what’s wrong, love?” he turns back and questions why you’ve stopped mixing the meringue batter, though his mouth twitches when he sees your expression.

this time, you stay silent, glaring at him.

finally, he laughs, eyes crinkling as he throws his head back. you wait for him to finish, crossing your arms and frowning.

daniel hiccups another laugh out and steps toward you, hands up.

“it was funny, you gotta admit,” he tries defending himself.

“i hate you sometimes,” you retort.

his face drops and he clutches his hands over his heart, “ouch, love!”

“oh, shut up, danny,” you sneer at him as you turn your attention back to the meringues, mumbling a, “cunt,” under your breath.

you can feel when he comes up behind you, warmth radiating off his body even in the summer. he wraps his arms around your shoulders, dropping his head down too.

“i love you~” he sings, trying to get back on your good side.

you say nothing.

you can practically hear him pout in your ear, disappointed in the fact that his actions have consequences.

“c’mon babe, it was just a joke! it’s christmas eve, you can’t be mad at me! i’m sorry!”

when you still don’t respond, daniel takes his arms off you and resigns himself to keep cutting up the fruit.

when he’s settled back into a rhythm of doing that, you scoop some of the mix onto your finger, reach over, and smear it onto his cheek before running to the other side of the kitchen so he can’t catch you.

“aw, you-“ he grins again, bright as anything, and lunges at you, chasing you around the island and through the living room as you giggle.

he finally tackles you into the couch. the smudge is still on his cheek.

“you’re silly,” you scrunch your nose up at him as you catch your breath.

daniel just smiles, admiring you beneath him.

“i love you,” he tries again.

“i love you too, dummy.”

he then collapses on top of you, holding you tight in his embrace. it’s nice; it’s like a weighted blanket which walks and talks and happens to be very annoying sometimes. you melt into his arms, and reach around to hug him back.

daniel’s always been your safe space, and you’re able to be that for him too now, with him being home a lot more than he had been in september, for some strange reason.

you don’t want to let his mind drift back to his career predicament with too much silence, though, so you nudge him and tell him to clean off his cheek.

instead of grabbing a washcloth, or a paper towel, or something sensible, daniel just runs his finger through the meringue and sticks it in his mouth.

you make a face at him, expressing your disgust. you can see the bits he’s missed still sticking to his skin.

“that tastes so good, baby. it’s gonna bang tomorrow night.” he looks at you in awe of your baking skills before dropping back down onto your shoulder. he’s obviously content with staying like this.

fine, you can cuddle for a while, you guess. the pavlova’s not going anywhere.

wait- the pavlova.

“fuck, danny, the meringue’s gonna go flat!”

you scramble off the couch and back to the kitchen so you don’t ruin joe and grace’s christmas.

when daniel comments on how the pavlova looks kind of funny at dinner the next night, you just kick him under the table and say he must be imagining things.

[kinardsevan]

the in-between

still working on this but this came to me literally as I was waking up from a nap earlier (we won't discuss the fact that it was 8PM when I fell asleep and almost midnight when I woke up).

anyhoo.... enjoy what I have done so far!

-

Things were good. 

He wouldn’t actually label them as great. They hadn’t been great since…well. But they were good. Maddie coming home safe was good. The friendship quasi-relationship he seemed to be building with Josh was good. The conversation was good, the dates were good; fuck, even the sex was good. 

But. 

“He-hey, look who it is,” Chimney says in a sing-songy tone as he strides past Buck on the main floor of the firehouse. Buck looks up after him from where he’s wiping down the chrome of the ladder truck and smiles, spotting his sister. Just behind her a few paces is Josh, and he smiles. That’s nice. That’s….good. 

He tosses the cloth on his shoulder and crosses the space with Chimney, a few steps behind him, hugs Maddie once she’s separated from her husband and then follows it with a hug for Josh. It’s…good. 

“How was your first shift back,” he asks, looking back at his sister. 

“Good,” she says with a nod, making the word sound the way it actually should, instead of how it keeps coming out of Buck’s mouth lately. “Taking it slow, easing back into it, but it’s good.” 

“Good,” he says back to her. She quirks an eyebrow at him and he forces a smile. He doesn’t have it in him to have a full-fledged discussion with her right now about the implications of how he keeps saying that word, using it to describe things. He glances over at Josh and smiles at him again. The other man offers him a coffee he’s holding and Buck takes it gratefully. 

“You guys been busy?” Josh asks. 

Buck and Chimney share a glance, and he shrugs. 

“It’s been decent. Only a few calls overnight. Nothing too insane yet, but who knows.” 

“Watch your mouth, Buckley,” Chimney states, glancing down at his watch. “We’ve got two hours left on this shift and I have breakfast plans already.”

“That’s why we came,” Maddie interjects cheerfully. She glances back and forth between Chimney and Buck, eyeing her brother for just a second longer, curious at him, before looking back at her husband. “Wanted to know if you wanted to double.” 

“That should be fine,” Chimney answers cheerfully as Buck sips from his coffee. They all glance at him, waiting for a response, and he raises his eyebrows, sputtering a bit on the coffee in his mouth. 

“Y-yeah,” he stammers, trying to reflect the same joyful tone as the rest of them. “That should-..” 

The klaxons choose that moment to start going off, the automated call coming over the PA system, and they all glance up.

“Station 118 and 122 fire and rescue. Helicopter crash. Station 118 and 122 fire and rescue. Helicopter crash.” 

Buck and Chimney’s gaze locks, and the blood flushes from his face, coffee hitting the floor as his feet move beneath him. He’s around the truck and halfway to his turnouts when hands are on his chest, stopping him from moving any further. 

“Buck-..” 

“Bobby, let me go,” he rasps, trying to push past the man to get to his gear. 

“You need to-..” 

“I need to get my gear,” he argues, cutting Bobby off. “Let me go-..” 

“You can’t be on this one,” Bobby tells him. He looks past him toward where Maddie and Josh have moved but are still near the open bay doors. “You have family here.” 

It takes everything in him to swallow down the I have family out there that he wants to scream at Bobby. To not yell at every damn person in the room that they should be moving faster, that they don’t know what they’re walking into, that Tommy needs him, that-

“I’m not sitting out on this,” he growls, unable to stop the angry tears that flood his vision. They’re not helping his case at all, but he’ll be damned if he’s left behind to not know what’s happening out there, and they’re wasting time. “So fucking let me get ready or I’ll drive myself.” 

Bobby seems to measure him briefly, questioning the right move, but after a second, he releases Buck and in under a minute, he’s donned his turnouts and made it back to the truck, nevermind the fact that blood hasn’t returned to his face or the fact that his hands are shaking as he pulls his seatbelt on inside of the truck.

Eddie reaches across the space between their seats and pushes Buck’s headset down over his head, holding it in place briefly to try and ground him as they lock eyes. He watches him for a moment until Buck nods at him. Eddie nods back at him and lets go of the headset, squeezing his still-shaking hands briefly. No one else says anything.

Still, just inside the fire station, Josh looks over at Maddie. 

“So, I think that just ended,” he quips.

Maddie frowns at him. “My brother is a dick.” 

Josh snorts. “I mean yeah, but also, I wasn’t under some false pretense about all of this.” He pauses for a moment and eyes her, narrowing his gaze. “You guys all get that he’s in love with him, right?” 

Maddie sighs softly with a shake of her head. “Yeah. But I thought after the breakup, with time and someone new…” 

Josh snorts again at her. 

“What,” she asks him. 

Josh just shakes his head, smirking at her. “Your brother’s not getting over that one. Ball of flame or blaze of glory, that relationship’s only going out in one way. You’re stuck with Tommy for the long haul.” 

. . .

The ride takes too long and his hands never really stop shaking. By the time they make it to the scene, the 122 is already there, Deluca already checked in as IC. Bobby joins the other man, figuring out where to take point, while Eddie helps Barton and Rodgers work apart pieces of the helicopter. Buck is itching to get there, find out how bad it is, but Bobby won’t let him leave his side. 

“You brought Buckley to the scene,” Deluca comments derisively. 

“Shut it, Deluca,” Bobby cuts him off. “You’re no better for leading this call right now. Kinard-..” 

“Is family,” he states back. “And there’s not going to be a better team for this.” 

“So then let me fucking do my job,” Buck interjects. Both men look over at him with lingering glares. 

“Not a fucking chance,” Deluca tells him as Bobby shakes his head. “Your head isn’t in this, and your heart would cause more harm than good right now.” 

Buck grumbles at him, but he remains at Bobby’s side. 

[btsbabe7]

Keep Me (In the Shadows)

Word Count: 5.4k

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female reader

Warnings!: 18+, unprotected, impregnation

Synopsis: The walls of Hogwarts contain many secrets of their own, but on a late night, you and Draco Malfoy find yourselves uncovering one of your very own.

“Is it true,” Draco begins, voice ragged and rough around the edges, “that everything in this blasted castle resets at midnight?”

You watch the way the hem of his ebony robe propels on a soft wind over the dusty cobblestone tiles of the corridor. He remains a few strides ahead as he always does, walking quickly, yet aimlessly. He’d once told you it’d been his way of deflecting attention. If his eyes remained straight ahead, naturally he’d be unaware that you’re following his every move or anyone else for that matter.

So, you trail him inconspicuously, keeping your eyes glued to the empty corridor walls, the back of his robe, and his platinum hair with no real destination in your mind either. Your only goal is not getting caught alone with him this late in the night when students are forbidden to be outside of their dorms. If one were to stop you two, say a professor, you’d both lie and say you were returning to your respective areas. Draco’s speed walking would be believable enough.

“I’m sure there may be some logic behind that, but ultimately, I doubt it…”

“And you and Potter? Did that relationship reset at midnight? Better yet, what’s the logic behind that?”

Draco practically spits the words out in spite and you come to a sudden halt as they echo throughout the corridor. His words are far too large for a space so empty, for a space where perked, attentive ears may overhear or eavesdrop. In a corridor where lurking eyes may pry around corners in search of the next day’s gossip, you have to be careful. It’d happened before, not to you and Draco, but other students, and their secret escapades had been aired out to all who dared to listen over the next morning’s pumpkin juice. Yet, Draco cares more about this than the idea of being caught and the risk of detention. You can sense it in the way his shoulders and back stiffen with his walk.

Tossing your left arm over your right, you give the upper portion a soft squeeze while inhaling deeply through your nose. Dust tickles your nostrils and the faint smell of leftovers fill the air. You take in the toastiness of roasted chicken, the garlicky herbs that had been marinated into bite-sized potatoes, the sweet cinnamon sugar coating that had been dusted over pumpkin pasties and handcrafted pies, and the savory aroma of buttered rolls as they all congregate in a single whiff. With a sharp exhale through your mouth, you spew your thoughts.

“And who told you that? Your loyal gang of servants over this morning’s breakfast? Crabbe and Goyle? Zabini perhaps? Is that why you avoided me in Potions today?”

Draco stops mid-step and glances down at the obsidian leather crafting the wholecut Oxford shoes laced at his feet. His inhale is just as sharp as your exhale had been and he spins on the heel so quickly that the violent whip of his robe is enough to take your breath away, even several steps away. His eyes laser in on you and the space between your bodies suddenly feels smaller. Tighter. Suffocating.

His strides are few, long and confident, and you know he’ll land in front of you before you have a chance to finalize your true opening argument. With the click, clack, clicking of his expensive shoes bringing him closer, you whimper.

“It doesn’t matter who told me. I want to know if it’s true. Why they’re saying about you and Potter getting back together, dating again, and when you were planning to tell me. All these nights we’ve been sneaking about the castle together and you didn’t bother mentioning it,” he hisses the words in a rush and sneers at the thought of you with the oh so perfect chosen one while he’s left on the sidelines. “You didn’t tell me you were considering it, considering him again. You didn’t mention it on the observation deck of the Astronomy Tower, not in stacks of the Restricted Section, not in your dorm nor mine, and certainly not here, in this blasted corridor. Why not mention it a week ago when y—“

“Don’t finish that sentence, Draco,” you snarl.

His brows pinch at the challenge, but your eyes go wide in alert from the words you know were close to escaping his lips. Lewd and shameful they would have been had they reached the atmosphere. You glance up and down the seemingly void corridor with those same wild, worried eyes. You know how things can be twisted to snare even the brightest and most innocent of witches, but the words that clung to his tongue wouldn’t need to be twisted in order to ruin you both. Your quick search is fruitless and you let out a shaky sigh while rolling your shoulders back.

“I was going to tell you, Draco, that I was considering it… considering him, again.”

“When?” He demands. “Or were you going to wait until my tongue was halfway down your throat? Again.”

“Before, of course! Merlin… What kind of girl do you take me for, Draco?”

“You and I know exactly what kind of girl you are,” Draco retorts and studies you smugly.

His lips seal in a tight line and fire and ice blaze in the depths of his eyes before he spins once more and storms off in a blinding rage. You watch as he strides off prematurely, before hearing you out. He mutters something about how he knew things were too good to be true as he continues down the endless hall. You watch the way his hand clasps the nape of his neck under his long blonde hair and he keeps it there for a good while.

Once you gather your own thoughts, you hurry your strides in an attempt to mirror him, but you struggle to keep up with his head start and longer strides. The perks of being tall, you remind yourself. When you do catch up, he’s almost at the very end of the corridor, a dead end anyways, but you snatch him to a halt by the hood of his robe.

Draco falters and lets out a guttural groan when the sound of a ripping seam cuts through the silence air in response.

“You’ll pay for this, Y/ln!”

You feel prepared now. You’re ready to make your argument, to stand your ground, to explain yourself. You know that you have the right words sorted out and that with Draco cornered, he’ll have to listen.

Until he turns to face you.

His pink lips are pulled into a grimacing tight-lipped frown and an indented line appears down the center of his forehead where his thick brown brows are drawn together. His eyes shift over your features erratically before settling on yours, sharp like a double edged dagger ready to pierce. Two furious, impenetrable walls of frozen silver. Your body frosts over and you shrink where you stand. You struggle to meet his gaze and chew on the inside of your cheek as your mind goes blank.

You can’t think.

You can hardly breathe.

And when Draco opens his mouth, you wonder how you’re still alive when your heartbeat is racing so rapidly that your chest could easily explode.

“Tell me, Y/n,” he seethes.

A violent flame dances behind the walls of ice in his irises as his gaze flickers over the features of your face in frustration. Your lips are reddened and cracked from nibbling at them in nervousness and your nose appears swollen and puffed as if you’re attempting to hold back tears. Draco would usually swallow his pride seeing you in such a state, but he needs answers, so he settles on the wildness behind your dark eyes before continuing.

“Tell me,” he repeats. “When he fucks you, do you think of me?”

Your eyes dart towards his and your cheeks grow unbearably hot. You choke on the words as if you’re the one who dared spout them out. You’ve never experienced Draco this livid. You’d never heard his words become this vulgar, at least not with you, and that makes you all the more nervous. You’d convinced yourself that these nightly escapades meant nothing to him, that you were nothing more than a girl he could use or discard at his own will. He’s Draco Malfoy for heaven’s sake, and he could have any girl he pleased, that had come with the territory of having power and money at your disposal. You’d thought tonight would be the last night when you’d received his owl and that he’d be alright with that fact.

Clearly you’ve never been more wrong in your entire life.

You watch his tongue glide across the smooth plains of his natural pink lips and the fire blazing quietly in the torches overhead reflect a glistening orange on the thin coat of saliva left behind. You fixate on his features, from those shimmering lips up to the bridge of his nose. Your eyes roam up to the very roots of his platinum blonde hair before retracing your gaze and focusing on his eyes once more. They’ve softened a bit, not from the fire in the torches, but from the fire now kindling between you two.

He lets out a scoff as if he’s annoyed by you, as if you’ve been the pain in his arse all along. Before your brain can register the noise that escapes the base of his throat for a second time, he delves into you.

His lips are the first part of his body that comes into contact with yours. They’re warm against yours and so pillowy soft that you can’t bear pulling away. Instead, you bring your arms up to his collarbones and allow your index finger and thumb to mold into the curved base of his long neck. His artery pulse wildly underneath your grasp and your heart warms at the rhythmic expansion. You love the feeling, the palpitating of thick blood quickening through his body, underneath his skin, all livened by your touch.

Draco takes the final step to close your bodies together more comfortably and brings his arms around your waist to mold you into the perfect contours of his slender body.

“I can’t stop,” he mutters against your mouth and drops his lips into the crook of your neck. “I don’t want to stop, Y/n.”

He knows this will ruin you. It does every single time. With his lips against your neck and his words growing more desperate, lower and needier with each breath. You know exactly what he’s playing at. And yet, you allow your head to tilt back for more. More. More. And more. You’ll always need more of this, more of him. You rake a hand through the hairs lying against the nape of his neck. They’re course, yet silky in your gentle grasp and you close your eyes to the ceiling with a sweet smile as it drives him deeper into your flesh.

“Draco,” you purr.

He doesn’t bother responding with words. He only deepens the way he’s been working his lips against your flesh before allowing his burning tongue to trace a long column up the full length.

With this, you know exactly what is going to happen tonight and you take no desire in stopping it, not for Harry’s sake nor anyone else’s. In this very moment, it’s just you, Draco, and your desperate need for each other.

Need is a fickle thing and the need had begun long ago, long before your months of sneaking around to be together. It started when you were with Harry and Draco’s icy eyes would meet yours from across the room. Potions, the Great Hall, Herbology. Hell, even during their Quidditch practices. Somehow his eyes had always found yours in every room, and perhaps, some part buried deep inside of you liked it.

Every single glance had you feeling things Harry never made you feel during your three years of dating. It’s made you feel warm and dizzy as if you were going mad. Yet, nothing truly begun when you’d ended things with Harry. It’d been just before Christmas break. Harry planned to return home for its duration, so you had the comfort of knowing he’d be able to mend himself surrounded by those he loved, family and friends, while you stayed behind.

All your friends had called you mad when they discovered your frequent whereabouts—studying with Draco in the courtyards, his frequent smirks gifted across the dining tables during breakfast or dinner, his need to suddenly partner with you in Potions right after the break. You never truly expected them to understand the hungriness of your yearning for each other, that need for constant contact. Something in Draco’s presence had brought you back to a primal state of being, of craving and desire. Something feral melded in the deepest parts of your core and engraved itself in your very bones when his eyes met yours, but you couldn’t tell your friends that. So, instead of going behind Harry’s back, this is the alternative. This is freedom.

Draco takes a single step back and relishes the way you shiver when he releases a cool breath against the wet trail he’d left behind. He watches you slowly unravel from the ribbon of your high while shuffling out of his robe. Your eyes remain glassy and wide, glazed with lust as you work off his tie and snake it around your own neck before moving in to unbutton his shirt. The shiny black buttons are slick against your fingers as you round them out of each hole. One by one they expose a pinch more of his creamy white skin, so smooth and pale and familiar, and your mouth froths at the sight.

Draco manages to remove his belt from the buckle and unbutton his pressed trousers as you work at the buttons. By the time you’ve finished unhooking the last, his pants pool around his ankles with a soft thud. He backs you against an opening and hoists you up on the ledge of one of the many oversized lattice windows lining the corridor wall. Silver moonlight plays in the sharp grayish hues of his irises and you watch it as he focuses on you. He kneels to work your black stockings off and your stomach knots. He’s become quite the expert in doing this, managing to get the black fabric off and having your skirt and panties out of sight within seconds.

Draco smirks, a cocky smile that reflects his satisfaction after they plop onto the floor with a quiet thud. He drapes your legs over his forearms, hooking his arms underneath your knees, and stares into the void between your bodies. Your brows furrow as you study him. You swear you can sense worry creeping over his features. Perhaps the thought of you going behind Harry’s back has him rattled, or perhaps the idea of getting caught, even though you two never have before.

He relaxes his shoulders and lets out a sigh that would’ve gone unnoticed had you not been watching him. But the worry slips away just as quickly as it’d come, and in a few blinks of your eyes, the only evidence remaining is the gentle twinkle in his eyes when they finds yours again.

Murals of silvery grey fall upon you as the pressure between your thighs rings sharp. You need this just as much as he does. There are no games and the foreplay remains the small tiff you two just had as the aching pleasure of him slipping against you engulfs all your senses. You gasp in relief, eyes lowering at the feeling of his stiff sex gathering your sticky arousal. He teases your bottom lip with his tongue and grazes his chill breath over your warmth.

Draco watches you squirm uncomfortably on the stone ledge. He has to admit that this wasn’t the best place for sex and he hates the idea of your bare ass plastered on the dusty, frigid sandstone bricks, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t wait until one of you found a more respectful place to relieve yourselves. He couldn’t be bothered either when he’d led you to the stacks of the Restricted Section for the first time months ago during Christmas break, nor when he’d taken you in his dorm knowing his friend’s would be asleep in the same room. The list goes on, and yet, he needs you just the same now. He would’ve taken you in the Great Hall if he had to, would have risked everything to have lain you out like his own personal spread to devour whole. That’s how crazy you drive him, that’s how mad you make him feel, and he can’t wait another second. Not even when the idea of betraying Potter in such a way lurks heavily in the back of his mind, even after the whispers, the rumors of you two being back together. It’s the ultimate betrayal, but he cannot stop himself. He has no control over this.

Your mouth parts to let out a moan. As it does, Draco places his palm firmly over it, covering those beautiful lips and muting the sound before slithering between your decadent folds. His teeth sink into his bottom lip to rein in his own pleasure. You feel like a tight hug and he almost loses himself in the feeling. So warm, so comforting, so cruelly wet. Aside from the last fact, he’s sure this is what heaven feels like, what home should feel like, and he knows he can’t let this go. He can’t let this feeling of belonging be stripped away if he finally gets a say in it.

Your head rolls back with the first snap of his hips and you mewl softly. It’s only been two days and you’d magically forgotten how delicious and blissful the first taste of his cock is. You’d forgotten the pleasure in feeling his heat and hardness running deep along your walls and pulling your orgasm closer with each motion. He thrusts in again and your back arches. You watch your breaths fog against the exposed glass panes, weaving their own intricate patterns between ebony lattice, and it takes you back to the first time Draco had claimed your innocence.

On Christmas morning, after breakfast, you’d sent your owl from your dorm window with a letter that contained only two lines:

Restricted Section tonight.

Don’t be late, Malfoy.

Since that magical night in the stacks, you’ve never loved anything more. Every week for a month, you’d sought him out. It’d been pathetic, but you were unable to liberate yourself from the yearning of taking him again. Your need wouldn’t subside, even after you’d taken him. He’d turned you into this feral, insane being, and you found yourself chasing that body to body connection and the slow build up of your pleasure around his length endlessly.

Draco’s pants fill your ears with the sweetest melody as he plows into you, leaving no more room for nostalgia. With each violent rut of his hips, neither of you have the time to recover from the ecstasy prickling in your veins. The heat pooling in your core keeps your mind centered and your gaze focused on him.

“Draco...”

You watch him through heavy, lidded eyes, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip in a teasing grin as you watch his hips burst forward. The rhythmic sound of your skin colliding and his low howling heightens your senses. Suddenly, you’re keenly aware of the little ache unraveling like a ribbon in the pit of your belly, but also the bareness of his chest begging to be touched.

You glide your fingertips up the plain of his stomach, taking in the darkened hairs forming around the edges of his navel. You follow the faint trail up to his lanky chest, taking in the slight bit of muscle around his pecks before continuing up and over his shoulders. You curl yourself around him and trace circles over the bone when he falters closer. Beads of sweat form over the span on his forehead and you watch the way it collects like glistening raindrops against his scalp before trickling down streaks of his swaying platinum hair. You fight every instinct in order to spare him of the sensation of your fingers running throughout his hair and massaging into his scalp. He’d shutter in pleasure if you were to so, and right now, he doesn’t deserve the satisfaction.

Draco’s fingernails burrow into the flesh of your hips and you howl at the feeling, abandoning all prior thoughts. He thrusts forward. Harder. Deeper… Once. Twice. A third time for good measure. Then, again and again while a series of moans pour from your parted mouth.

“Tell me you won’t miss how good I make you feel?” He murmurs. “Isn’t that why you’re here tonight? Because poor little Potter cannot be bothered with pleasing his own woman? He should be treating you like the chosen one. Doesn’t he know you are?”

You bite into your lip again, but this time it’s to keep your mouth shut. You know there’s no use in telling him the truth, that Harry hadn’t as much as lain a finger on you in this way. Not once in all the three years you’d been together. Though, you know he’s wanted to. Draco is the only one that’s ever had you this way, completely defiled you, talked you down, brought you to your lowest and highest all at once.

Your eyes roll again as Draco steadies out his rhythm to catch his breath.

Surely the portraits will spread word in the morning of how they heard students moaning and followed the sound after seeing you and Draco disappear down an unlined corridor moments before. You’ll have to talk to Harry and admit it. That’s one thing you’re certain of. If you don’t, they’ll call you scandalous and Draco would get it worse. Dumbledore may even have to expel you faster than Professor Snape can chastise Malfoy for his lewd, unacceptable actions, in which his father, Lucius, will truly not want to hear about.

“Shit…” he hisses. His eyes snap shut and his lips tremor with his ragged pants. His nose crinkles and the movement of his hips grow erratic once again. With his grip tightening on your flesh, he lets out a low groan. “I’ve almost forgotten how good you feel. I might blow my load inside of you… teach you a lesson.”

“You will not,” you protest, straight faced and using all your strength to not react to the pleasure radiating throughout your body. “Draco, we can’t.”

“Or what? You’ll curse me?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Draco sneers and leans down until his face is hovering above yours. He allows your ankles to rest against his shoulders, knees parallel to the ceiling. He watches the way you fight every instinct of pleasure, how you keep your eyes on his instead of allowing them to sink back, how you hold his triceps when you want nothing more than to have your hands grasping your aching breasts or to have them wrapped tightly around the base of his throat. He chuckles at the fact that you wish to moan, but your duty to privacy holds steady, keeps you quiet and whimpering instead of letting loose. And he watches in amusement as you slowly unravel with every swift and sharp stroke of his hips. As he does, he begins to realize just how much he actually cares about you.

“Tell him you’re mine,” Draco demands. “Tell me and tonight you’ll tell him so I can spend all day showing you how well I treat my personal possessions.”

“Oh yeah?” You tease. “Is that right, Draco?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

You let out a sharp giggle and rope him in closer by the back of his neck, so close that you can take in every breath exhaling from his lungs and pull them into your own. You watch the way the iciness in his eyes melts away and glaze over with something more warm and comforting. And your core ripples at the possibility of something more than lust looming between the both of you.

“Don’t tell me you’re this close already,” he complains, truly embarrassed for you by the look of annoyance in his eyes.

“Mmm… I think I am,” you whimper and grasp the lapels of his crinkled button up to yank him a breath closer. “Fill me up, Draco…”

He scoffs.

He is truly embarrassed for you, but you wish he could see himself panting, slicked with sweat, eyes soft, and looking so sexy whilst buried between your thighs. He’s the portrait of pathetic and you know you should make him beg.

“Beg,” you croak and yank him down until his lips are just above yours.

You throat stings, sore and scratchy from attempting to leave it shut as Draco plowed through your slick folds one thrust at a time.

“You’re insane,” he chuckles and glimpses down at your reddened lips.

“Only for you,” you whisper and swallow a moan as you caress the sharpness of his cheeks. “Make me yours, Draco.”

His lips tug into a sharp smile and he presses his lips against yours hard and hungrily. He’s tired of your games. Perhaps he realized that much sooner than tonight and the thought of losing you had become too unbearable for him.

“Fuck,” he huffs into the sticky air between the both of you before reclaiming your lips.

“Love your cock being buried inside of me, Draco.”

You finally moan against him. After all, you aren’t evil enough to keep edging yourself when you’re both this close. He pulls his mouth away, panting heavily as he plants his palms on either side of you and stiffens.

“Are you finished?”

You nod, knowing exactly what he means. It only confirms that he’s serious now, serious in showing you exactly how he takes care of what’s his.

He glances down at his hardened length, only the tip remains hidden inside of your depths, and the rest gleams in your sticky, sweet arousal. He wants to taste you, but more than anything, he wants to bury his load deep inside of you. He wants it so deep that it doesn’t dare to trickle out. He doesn’t care about the consequences this close to graduation; he only cares about you filled to the brim with a piece of him, no matter what it is.

He thrusts inside and watches the way you swallow him greedily. Then, repeats the action again and again in a rapid rock of his hips. He senses your falling apart—legs trembling against his body, eyes softening to a roll, your arousal warming to slick wetness, scorching hot with each plunge. He takes pride in his string of thrusts, delivering them in a steady rhythm. Though, he wishes to tear you apart, your freed moans keep him from doing so. They guide him and keep him steady like music in his ears.

He grasps your chin and pulls your lazy gaze back to him.

“Keep your eyes right here, darling,” he demands sternly. “I want to see the way they roll when you release.”

With clenched teeth, you attempt to snatch your chin back, but he keeps his grip firm and your maneuver hardly wavers as he picks up speed with a groan and chuckle.

“You thought I’d let you dominate me?” He teases, his chuckle cutting through your moans. “I almost had you convinced. But don’t forget, my love, I’m always in control. No one tells me what to do.”

You whimper as he presses a thumb into your mouth to pacify you before ripping through your depths. His thrusts grow quicker with each second and you have no time to recoup from the pleasure prickling through your veins and pulsating in every corner of your being like liquid fire. Just as your eyes begin to roll, Draco snatches your jaw, showing just how much in control he truly is.

“I wish Potter could see how well you take me,” he pants cockily. “Just imagine if he knew the way I fit inside of you. So perfectly, if I do say so myself. You should see the way your cunt grips around my cock. You should see how wet you are for me. I dare you.”

You hum against his thumb and the vibration ricochets through you in a deep wave as you dare to glimpse between your thighs. You catch sight of his cock, a pulsing red with a vein so thick that it looks as though it hurts, and your arousal coating the surface in a glistening sweetness. Draco watches with you and your head spins.

“It’s been two days since I’ve felt you tightening around me. I can’t wait to feel it again.”

You keep your lips clasped tightly around his thumb. Your mind can hardly think of a quip, let alone find any words to overpower him. You don’t want to. You focus on the way his cock feels slipping in and out of your depths at different lengths, growing unsteady with each sway of his hips. You focus on his silver eyes staring into yours and his mocking grin as you finally come to terms with the fact that you are his. You’ve always been his. He’s just known it much longer than you have.

A bead of sweat drips from the tip of his swapping bangs and plops against your bare stomach. Draco chuckles and slicks his damp hair back with one hand while using his thumb on the other to massage the moisture into your skin. He presses in with a bit more pressure in attempt to feel himself plunging in and out of you. He keeps his thumb pressed firmly against you and steadies himself until he feels the motion underneath it. In and out. In and out, bulging at the center of your tightening core.

“Perhaps one day you’ll write about how well you take me,” he purrs. “And we’ll fill our library with books on our lovemaking.”

“I’m sure such books already exist,” you gasp, recalling all the steamy muggle romances you’d read over the summer.

“Then you’ll read one to me one of these days. Share your findings?”

“I’d rather show you,” you whisper.

He smiles, almost faltering before regaining his composure and finding your hips again.

“Draco?”

“Mhm?”

“Tell me I’m your favorite,” you mutter and buck up against him.

He stops suddenly and his nails dig deep into your pillowy flesh. You feel his cock twitch deep inside of you and you smirk when his eyes land on yours again.

“Being sneaky are we?” He muses and rams into you.

His palm finds your mouth again just before a bloodcurdling moan slips out.

He does it again with a teasing smile.

Then again.

And again.

And again until you’re whimpering and trembling around him. You reach for his forearm, but he denies it and presses into you harder.

Your eyes roll and you grasp the ledge underneath yourself, but it’s too hard. You go for his wrist, the same one allowing his hand to keep you almost silenced. You shiver around him and your thighs go limp against his thrusts. It’s not long after that his pants turn into a sharp hiss and a new heat overwhelms you.

Draco falters on top of you and stares straight into your eyes as he fills you up to the brim with his warm seed. You search his eyes for any form of deceit, but you find none. There never has been, not when it came to you and him.

His hand slowly retreats and you let out a loud inhale, taking in the dusty air of the corridor before slinging your arms around his neck and rushing your lips against his. He tastes of tart apples, salty sweat, and the sticky strawberry taste of your lipgloss. You never knew you needed to taste such a combination, but if it came from him, you’d take it. You’d take it all.

“Y/n,” he mumbles.

“Yes, Draco?”

His eyes focus on yours as if the stars he’d once seen dancing around your face are slowly subsiding and the cloudiness of lust and desire fading.

“You truly are my favorite,” he breathes and runs a hand through your curls before peppering your lips with kisses. “And I plan to keep it that way.”

And somewhere deep in your gut, you have a feeling this won’t be the last time you hear those words, especially since you’d forgotten to confirm cc that it had only been a rumor going around the school, mere whispers. Someone had lied about you dating Harry again, but you don’t mind when the result of it brought Draco crawling back to you.

Please be sure to check out my other latest fanfics:

⚡︎ Lost Love (m.) - Lucien Vanserra x Rhysand x reader

⚡︎ Rain Does Not Fall on One Roof Alone (m.) - Ominis Gaunt x Sebastian Sallow x reader

⚡︎ Perfect Storm (m.) - Ominis Gaunt x reader

⚡︎ Untitled (m.) - Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt x reader

⚡︎ Coffee (Love You a Latte) - Sebastian Sallow x reader

⚡︎ Golden - Sebastian Sallow x reader

⚡︎ For You Always (m.) - Severus Snape x reader

~ Navi: masterlist (all fandoms)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction, but please don’t copy! Written purely for fun :) Please only repost to other socials w/my permission and credit! Reblogging w/credit is fine. Thank you! ♡

December 2024

[therealslimshakespeare]

Oath to the Spunk Wall

A Dear John💌 stalag flashback fully authored by my brilliant @stylespresleyhearted

Bucky was fucking dying in the stalag.

Figuratively and literally - he could feel life and the will to live seeping out of every pore in his body as they spent day in and day out stuck with no chance of escaping. And Buck, Buck, Buck - Buck who had been his driving force to get here in the first place. They were on completely different ends of the spectrum.

Bucky wanted to act now. He wasn’t sure what the guys were waiting for. Did they think things were going to change? Were the Krauts gonna suddenly start treating them like real fucking people? He didn’t think so. Bucky had abandoned ship, almost killed a pair of kids, had nearly been beaten to death, and tasted the brains of a man who got his head bludgeoned and all of it was feeling unnecessarily unimportant.

The one person he wanted to save the most - Buck - didn’t want to make a move. He didn’t even want to try. And Bucky, he had made a promise before embarking on his mission, a promise to try to live and see the girl of his dreams in her white, frilly, silk sleep set and he had made a promise to himself to get his best friend home safe but none of that was happening. He was stuck. Unmoving. A hollow shell of the man he once was. Imprisoned.

Now Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He could see it in the faces of his guys all around him - the way in which they eyed his every move or were careful with their chosen words when speaking to him like he was a rabid dog who would bite at any given second. Bucky was supposed to be a leader but in light of things he’d become nothing but a burden to the boys who looked up to him. A waste of space and a waste of a bunk if you asked him. He’d be more useful dead. At least then his boys could have his jacket and his beanie and his gloves and blanket and take everything so they could stay warm and alive until the day came. Not that he could voice it. He didn’t want to deal with Buck’s sad eyes or more of Brady’s prayers or DeMarco’s crazy fucking look everytime they locked eyes.

I’m still trying, he thought but had no hope of Julie Jean listening on the other side.

There was no contact between them. Every couple of weeks mail came but none of it was from her. There’d been letters from his momma, of course - his momma was a saint - but while he would die for his mom he suddenly didn’t feel the will to live for her. She would only end up disappointed in him too. Her son was a rake. Useless. Dirty. No marriage, no children.

He was no good to his sisters either. What example was he setting?

His Jeanie was who he ached for and who he missed. She’d been the one keeping him together before here and to have her suddenly ripped away was like cutting off one of his legs and signing him up for a marathon. It was senseless to be without her. For years he hadn’t gone more than a handful of days with no new letter and no new photo. She was real selfless that way.

Africa had made him restless but when he returned there had been two letters and five new photographs waiting. He had mailed out his own explanation the next morning but another letter had already arrived: worried for him. He was important to her and she never made him doubt it. Thoughts of Jeanie helped center him, made breathing feel easier, and tempered his moods but none of it lasted for more than a couple of hours.

John Brady was a good kid. Catholic, brave, and a damn stone in Bucky’s shoe. He was a great leader to his crew, the most even tempered man in the entire 8th Air Force, and a talented pilot. Brady never questioned Bucky, he was always quick to initiate what their Major wanted done and more times than not Bucky caught the young guy watching him. One time Bucky had overheard him mouthing off to new arrivals who had said Bucky was no more than a ‘fun-time. Surely he couldn’t be a good leader.’ Brady hadn’t liked that and only after the new arrivals had left red-faced and close to tears had Bucky whistled to announce his presence.

“You don’t need to waste your breath defending me, Brady,” Bucky had told him, swinging an arm around his lanky shoulders as they exited the officer’s club. “All I need from you is to keep doing what you’re doing up there.”

“Major all due respect - I will never sit back and let someone who don’t know squat about being up there mouth off about you or Major Cleven. How you choose to soldier on, that’s your business, sir.”

Little brother Brady, Buck referred to him as. Bucky’s little brother that is. Apparently it wasn’t news to anyone on base that Brady was always sticking up for him, or popping his collar like him, or implementing rules Egan had set when he was Air Exec. He wasn’t anymore but Brady insisted his way was the correct way and so his rules stayed.

And no, Brady never questioned him but still - the kid was always the first to see through Bucky. Before the mission he was aware Bucky had no intention of returning without Buck and still he let his Major co-pilot. He never questioned any of Bucky’s requests or standard but when he didn’t agree there was always a witty remark or dry look that had Bucky’s face turning red. Like when the kid had been adamant to jump only after Bucky.

Or, more recently, how Brady created The Wall of Hopes and Dreams, - a wall solely for Bucky’s hopes and dreams that had multiple photos of Lana Tierney plastered - and his worry for his Major had him grabbing Bucky’s hand and physically dragging him to the wall.

“Come on now, Major Egan,” he worriedly bit on his lower lip, hands on his thin hips. He wasn’t blind; his superior officer had been far from okay the last couple of days. Lingering too close to the gates. Provoking guards. “We come to the Wall of Hopes and Dreams -”

“ — also known as the Spunk wall — ” Demarco.

“ - present Major John Egan who has come to pledge his promise of life and sanity to his girl, Miss Lana Tierney, also known as A.C.O.R.N.. Major, if you please.”

Bucky sighed. He spared a glance to Buck who was seated at the table also looking resigned to what was about to occur. They all must have been really worried if no one was trying to intercept the filthiness that was gonna be uttered and sworn under God and every man in their cabin.

Bucky shrugged; wasn’t the first time and his men would feel better. Brady did look real worried.

“Julie Jean,” he began, refusing to call her anything but her true name. The name she signed all her letters with. “First and foremost I promise to uphold my promise of life to you. That includes not doing any of the stupid things Buck and Brady warn me against. Under their wise guidance I shall return safely to you.” They should be proud - he barely allowed any sarcasm to seep in.

Buck was still watching, no hint of him shying away yet.

“And what else, Major?” Brady was incessentantly tapping a foot and chewing on a thumbnail.

Bucky felt guilty. He was really doing a number on the poor guy.

“I promise to return home with my own two hands so that I can help you hold your rack and take the ache off your back.”

And there it was. Gale’s blush. But when Bucky turned his head to check, he still hadn’t looked away.

“I promise to remain safe in my entirety and protect my - uhh - little major so that you can assist in keeping him warm and wet for me.”

DeMarco coughed to hide a laugh. The Wall of Hopes and Dreams was something that Brady held strongly about so out of respect for him the guys played along. Even though sometimes trying to contain their laughter ended with choking on their saliva.

“Julie Jean I will uphold my promise to you of keeping you satisfied and full of my spunk - ” DeMarco was having a hard time dealing tonight if his chortles and coughs were anything to go by “ - and give you all those babies I wrote about in my first letter.”

“Jesus, Bucky, the first?!” DeMarco exclaimed, laughing.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him but Brady’s touch to his elbow reminded him he still had a couple of more oaths before he could walk away.

“I hereby promise to give you that good pounding I mentioned in letter 23, section 2 - so kindly arranged in numerical order by Biddick, may he rest in peace.”

A few of the guys chuckled at the antics but all of them were sure to nod in their agreement. All the men they had lost stayed with them. One way or another - in the sky, in their hearts, where their bunks lay, and they were even brought to the spunk wall.

“What else, Major?” Brady insisted, still on a mission to finish this. All the guys may have found it a joke but Brady was sure it worked. Only a couple of hours but he would take it. Those hours gave his Major hope again so he found this tedious antic worth it because so.

“And I promise to fulfill A.C.O.R.N to the best of my abilities once I’ve returned home -”

“ — maybe she can sit on your face and straighten your huge nose — ” that was Crank jumping in.

“I also promise, Julie Jean, to kick all of these guys asses as soon as we escape this hell hole for making me say all this filthy shit and I will knock any of them out if they even imagine any of this with you.”

All the guys were so happy at the Major getting some of his fight back into him that they didn’t tremble (too much, that is) at the threat. Since her first photo arrived their balls had been under the threat of their Major so it was also nothing new.

“I, Major John Egan, solemnly swear to uphold these promises to the best of my ability by staying alive, staying safe, and all in all, not being a mopey son of a bitch. Thank you.”

He turned with a smile, he couldn’t fight it off any longer and was met with the cheers and hugs of his men.

Brady let out a sigh of relief as the oath was finished. Tomorrow would be a better day.

Buck was still seated at the table but like Bucky figured, he was too prude to make any eye contact with the guys.

“You didn’t stop it,” Bucky shrugged, sliding back into his bunk with an air of faux innocence and ignoring Gale’s glare. He laughs, wholeheartedly.

Turning his back to the guys, he slides his photo from under his pillow. The one of her that he kept on the sole of his shoe for every mission. Of her smiling bright, a shoulder of her gown sliding off, a peak at the goods but not enough to be explicit. She radiated happiness and that’s why he chose it as the one he kept with him.

From his time on German ground, his time in the water and the forced march through town it’d been discolored and wrinkled and the colors had begun to fade into one another but it’s all he had and he refused to give it up.

He could still trace the radiance of her smile. The shape of her hair and the swell of her breasts. She would be a foot shorter than him - possibly not even reach his shoulder - and in his bunk, trying to find sleep Bucky thought of other things instead.

He’d be able to curl her into his chest and wrap his arms around her completely. She could hide in him and feel safe. She was often telling him she had only felt truly safe when he began writing to her. And even though they had never met she had claimed his lap to be her designated seat once they were in each other’s presence.

“We could make room for everyone else,” she was so helpful.

He presses the photo to his nose. Imagining he could smell her. Kiss the pout of her lips or the chub of her cheeks.

“I’m gonna marry you,” he swears, ignoring the chatter of the boys behind him and pressing his lips to her distorted image.

If I make it home is left out because Bucky’s aware that Julie Jean would want no association with the possibility of him not making it back. For her it wasn’t an option.

[clarkeyhill]

Consequences | Arthur Hill

Arthur and I had been together for a year. We had that kind of relationship that felt easy—built on laughter, trust, and shared traditions. One of Arthur’s quirks was his love for “splitting the G,” a Guinness drinking game where you try to drink the pint down to the middle of the golden “G” in the Guinness logo. It was silly, but it was his thing, and I adored him for it.

When he told me he was going on a boys’ holiday with George and Chris, I didn’t think twice. He updated me every day like clockwork—photos of beaches, beers, and their latest adventures. It felt like he was keeping me close, even from miles away.

Until the last night.

That night, the updates stopped. I told myself it was fine—maybe they’d just gotten carried away with their final hurrah. But then I saw the Instagram post.

A girl I didn’t know had tagged him in a photo. The two of them were standing close, her arm slung over his shoulder, grinning at the camera. The caption read:

“Met this guy and he taught me how he splits the G, many ways than one.”

The words hit me like a slap. I knew what “splitting the G” meant to Arthur, but what was the “other G” she was talking about? My stomach churned as I scrolled through the comments. People were laughing, teasing her, and dropping winking emojis. Arthur hadn’t liked or commented on the photo, but that did nothing to stop the flood of doubt and betrayal coursing through me.

I waited for him to text, to call, to explain. But there was only silence.

Arthur returned home two days later, dragging his suitcase into the hallway with a weariness I hadn’t seen before.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low.

“Hi.” I tried to sound normal, but my heart was already racing.

He was distant, avoiding my gaze, and his usual warmth felt replaced by something colder. I asked him about the trip, but his answers were short and guarded.

“It was fine.”

“Yeah, we had fun.”

“Nothing crazy happened.”

It didn’t feel right. He was hiding something, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Arthur,” I said finally, “I saw the photo.”

His entire body stiffened. “What photo?”

“You know what photo. The one with that girl. She said you taught her how to ‘split the G, many ways than one.’ What does that mean?”

For a moment, he just stared at me, his face pale. Then he sank onto the edge of the couch, running his hands through his hair.

“I messed up,” he said quietly.

“What do you mean?” My voice cracked.

“I was drunk,” he began, his words spilling out in a rush. “We were playing drinking games at the bar, and she joined in. We were laughing, talking, and then… she kissed me. I didn’t stop her. I should have, but I didn’t. It didn’t go further than that, I swear, but I know I messed up.”

My heart sank. The image of them together, the way he looked at her in that photo, it all felt like a dagger to my chest.

“She kissed you? Just like that?” I demanded, my voice rising.

“I was drunk, and I let it happen,” he admitted. “But it didn’t mean anything. It was a mistake. Please, believe me.”

I stared at him, my mind racing. The man I trusted, the man I loved, had let this happen. How could I ever look at him the same way again?

I slept in the spare bedroom that night. I couldn't bear to sleep or even look at Arthur.

The next morning, I packed my things. Arthur hovered around me, desperate and pleading, but I couldn’t stay.

“I love you,” he said, his voice breaking. “Please don’t go. It was one mistake.”

“One mistake is all it takes,” I said, tears streaming down my face.

And then I walked out.

For weeks, Arthur tried everything to win me back. He sent flowers, texts, and letters filled with apologies.

“I know I hurt you,” one message read. “But please don’t let this destroy us. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Another said, “I’m not giving up on us. You mean too much to me.”

Each gift, each message, felt like salt in the wound. I didn’t respond. I needed space, time to figure out what I wanted.

Then, one day, a small package arrived. Inside was a single notebook. On the first page, Arthur had written:

“Our Story: The Reasons I Fell in Love With You.”

Every page was filled with memories. The way we met, the time I surprised him with his favorite concert tickets, the night we stayed up talking until sunrise. He’d written about the way I laugh, the way I scrunch my nose when I’m annoyed, and how I always leave notes in his lunchbox.

At the end, he wrote:

“I know I broke your trust, and I might not deserve another chance. But I want to spend the rest of my life making this up to you, proving that I’m the man you fell in love with. Please, let me try."

I closed the notebook, my hands trembling.

For the first time in weeks, I let myself imagine a future where we could work through this. Where we could rebuild.

I wasn’t sure if I was ready to forgive him. But for the first time, I thought… maybe I could try.

-

🫶🏻

[slothquisitor]

Invisible String: Chapter Sixteen

A Baldur’s Gate III Modern AU.

Chapter Summary: With the exhibition open, Liv can finally figure out how she feels. Here there be smut!

Read from the beginning.

Read on AO3.

______________________________________________________________

When Liv arrives at the empty apartment, she’s struck by what a relief it is to walk back into a space that is hers. And it still does feel like hers despite all the ways she’d worried it wasn’t anymore. She doesn’t regret leaving, but she does regret telling Astarion it wasn’t her home. Because it still very much is. 

There’s a familiarity in dropping into her own bed in her own room, in the quiet of the apartment. Astarion promised her time, and she intends to take it, but first, she needs to sleep. And then she plans to spend the entirety of the weekend in what she lovingly refers to as goblin mode: in comfy clothes and absolutely not leaving the apartment under any circumstances. 

She does this sometimes, especially when it feels like her social battery has run out. She enjoys a weekend hermitted up alone and ordering takeout and generally not having to interact with anyone. It’s been a long time since it’s felt like a need in the way this weekend does though. 

On Saturday, she doesn’t wake until almost noon. She hadn’t realized just how tired she was until she woke up to discover she slept nearly twelve hours. Several notifications wait for her from her colleagues, congratulating her on the exhibit opening. She’s also missed a call from her sister. All of that sounds like a good thing for Monday Liv to deal with. 

She goes about making coffee, reads a book, watches her baking show. Orders a truly unhinged amount of take-out that will keep her fed all weekend. And then she does the only sensible thing one does in goblin mode: binge-watches the worst romcoms she can find.

The problem with most romcoms, despite her love for them, comes in the third act break-up. Every romcom has them. It is the staple of the genre and important to maintain a cohesive plot structure in an otherwise too-quiet story since the tension of the romantic leads getting together, which holds an audience’s attention until the culmination of the romance, needs to exist in some other way. Now they’re together, what is the thing that is going to tear them apart? And how do they overcome whatever insurmountable odds the writers have placed for them and claim their happily ever after? 

Liv’s issue with the third-act break-up is just that all too often the conflict feels…contrived. I didn’t tell you I was writing an article about how to get a guy to break up with me. Going out with you was actually a bet, but then I caught feelings. All of my wildest dreams have come true, and I’m dating this actor guy but I miss my best friend. Or least likely of all: I matched with my roommate on a dating app, and he figured it out before I did, used it, caught feelings, and then came clean. 

So does that make her the ridiculous one or the fool who forgives an unforgivable offense too quickly or readily for the sake of a happily ever after? Is there real substance here or do the main leads simply have too much chemistry that the audience is willing to believe they can just work it out? Are they on the list of couples that don’t even make it six months past the events of the movie?

Is that what this is really about? Is she afraid that whatever it is they are won’t last? That a single month in and his confession has rocked her to the very core, what happens if she forgives him and they have more time…and it still doesn’t work out? What happens to her then?

Because it’s a lot easier to hold Astarion at arm’s length now, to put that distance between them. Her own family can’t find a way to love her, to choose her, so why would he? And in lying to her, hasn’t he shown her what he thinks of her? But then…he’d also come clean. Not because he had to or because she’d caught him in the lie…but because he values honesty. Because he wanted something real. And where does that leave her? What happens now?

There are a lot of people she could call to talk this out with, but she needs someone who will understand completely. So she calls her sister. 

“How was the opening?” her sister asks. She sounds terrible, already coughing twice over the course of the call and clearly stuffed up. 

“It was great, but that’s not what I called about…I can let you rest though.”

She hears muffled movement of the phone while her sister goes through another bout of coughing. “It might be annoying to talk to me like this, but please distract me. I’m so miserable, and I blame Erin completely.”

“Is she feeling better?”

“Yes, thank the gods. We’re the worst versions of ourselves when we’re both sick. So…what did you call about?”

And so she tells her everything: from joining the app to that kiss on the couch even telling her about Astarion being a vampire. She leaves nothing out, even the way she’d run out of the apartment the other night and the distance she’d kept from Astarion at the exhibition. She tells her about her fears and hopes and everything in between. And Brelia listens. 

“You know, if he’d been any less awesome about you asking for time, I might be more mad at him,” Brelia says. “I feel like his respect for your boundaries says a lot about how much he genuinely cares. He did fuck up, don’t get me wrong, but he is also trying to fix it.”

“Is it ridiculous to want to let him?” she asks. 

Her sister clears her throat. “Oh honey, no. You love him.”

She immediately goes to correct her sister, to realize…that she’s not wrong. She does love Astarion. 

“When I first left the family, I felt like I was wandering around with my hands up, ready to fight anything. I felt suddenly so strong, so able to advocate for myself. And I was utterly convinced that I wouldn’t put myself back into a situation where I was treated like that ever again. What I didn’t realize was just how fucking isolated that made me…made it impossible for me to connect to anyone around me.”

Liv knows exactly what her sister is talking about. “So what did you do?”

“I had to learn how to let people around me in. That also means letting them close enough to hurt you. But you know what I’ve always admired about you, Liv?”

Her sister admires something about her? “What?”

“Your capacity for hope. For seeing the goodness in the world and being good to people regardless if they deserve it. You’ve never let your pain define you, don’t let it shape this either.” 

“You’re very wise.”

“Thank you, it’s the cocktail of cold medicine coursing through my system. Don’t expect it every day.”

“I do appreciate you letting me talk this through.”

“I think this is what sisters are for, but can’t say I’m very practiced at it.”

“Me either.”

“Liv?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

When she wakes on Sunday morning, she feels like a person again. And unlike yesterday, the apartment feels empty. Astarion’s absence is everywhere. She wanders over to the open doorway of his bedroom, coffee in hand, leaning against the threshold. She misses him; it would be a lie to deny it, even to herself. She misses her friend and roommate. She misses the person who wanted to talk about weird theories from Crown of Shadows with her and set out her coffee in the morning so they could chat in the living room. The person who choked down food he doesn’t even eat simply because he wanted to spend time with her because he wanted to feel normal with her. She misses the jokes and the sarcasm and all of the ways he is the most high-maintenance person she’s ever known. 

 And yes, he had lied and obfuscated and it had hurt her. But he had also acknowledged it. Apologized, shown up when it mattered. Astarion is not her family, and it’s unfair to punish him like he is. 

He had called himself a bad draft with such utter hopelessness. And he’s not…like everyone else in the world, he is simply painfully imperfect. 

And at least now, she knows what to do.

***

“How am I supposed to do anything when I don’t know where I’m going?” Astarion says as his operator gets violently murdered in the video game Petras has insisted he play with him. 

“You’ll learn the map. Just look for people with red names over their heads and shoot them,” Petras replies. “Karlach says you walked off the edge earlier though, maybe don’t do that.”

Astarion bites his tongue because it’s not as if he can hear Karlach’s response anyway. He refuses to put on one of those ridiculous headsets like Petras is wearing and ruin his hair. So he simply can’t hear Karlach while they play. 

“Oh! I got a kill!” Astarion says excitedly. Had the person been mostly injured by another player? Yes. Did he still get the final shot? Also yes. That’s all that matters.

“Ayyyy. You’re gaming!” Petras says, but the tone is so patronizing he slaps his shoulder. 

“I won’t keep playing if you and Karlach make fun of me.”

The only good thing about couch rotting with Petras this weekend is that it keeps him from obsessively checking his phone to see if Liv has decided to talk to him again. He feels like his entire life is somehow hanging in the balance, and there’s really nothing to do but wait. He told her she could have time, and well, here he is, playing the most ridiculous white male military simulator…and weirdly having a good time anyway. 

Karlach and Petras are good at this game, moving with practiced ease and dragging Astarion along. He just likes opening loot boxes and gathering as much money as possible and hoarding all the good weapons even though he can barely win a gunfight in the game. He will grudgingly admit that he’s having fun, but he’ll never tell Petras or Karlach that. 

“Why are there no stairs in this house? I can hear a loot box,” Astarion says. 

“You’re looting right now? Karlach and I are fighting a team. Get over here!”

He shrugs. “No.” And keeps looking for a way up to the second story of the building. So annoying Petras and Karlach might be where the bulk of the fun is coming from. 

He’s a little disappointed when they all hop off so that Petras and Karlach can get ready for their shifts at the Elfsong later this evening. “You could come in tonight if you want,” Petras says. “Give you something to do that’s not watching your phone.”

Astarion tosses his phone aside on the couch. “I’m not watching it.”

Petras laughs. “You are, but it’s okay. She’ll reach out.”

“Eventually.”

Though how much longer is really anyone’s guess. Which means he’s stuck here for the foreseeable future. He finds he hates it less than he thought. Petras…isn’t the worst company in the world. He’s toying with the idea that maybe he should tell Petras that, but then his phone vibrates and he nearly leaps across the couch to see the notification. Even Petras freezes on his way to the kitchen. 

Liv: Are you still at Petras’s? Do you have some time to talk?

“It’s her…she…wants to talk,” Astarion announces. His chest feels tight like he can’t quite catch his breath. He’s already typing out a reply and doesn't care about how potentially desperate responding immediately makes him look. 

Astarion: Yes, of course. I’m still at his place. Do you want me to meet you somewhere?

“And?” Petras asks. 

Liv: I’m already on my way. I should be there in five minutes or so.

Despite having been waiting all weekend for this moment, he finds himself suddenly unprepared. She’s going to be here in five minutes? And then he’ll no longer be in limbo wondering what is going to happen to them, but what does that mean . Is it a good thing she’s coming here instead of inviting him back to their apartment? 

“Hi. Would love an update here…you’re just like…hyperventilating and we don’t even have to breathe,” Petras says leaning against the kitchen counter. 

Astarion stands up, unable to contain this sudden influx of nervous energy. “She’s on her way here.”

“Like right now?” 

Astarion nods. 

Petras looks around the apartment with concern. “We should clean up.”

It’s not as though they’ve really made a huge mess of the place, but Astarion’s bedding from the couch has been unceremoniously tossed on the floor to make room for gaming and there are empty glasses that were once filled with either booze or blood scattered across the coffee table. They immediately move into clean-up mode to make the apartment look a little less like Astarion’s personal pit of depression. 

A few minutes later, the place looks better and Astarion feels not even a tiny bit more relieved for that fact. “Should I go out front and meet her or…wait for her to knock on the door?”

Should he change his clothes? Should Petras be here for this? The questions all become quickly moot when there’s a quiet knock on the door. 

He and Petras stare at each other for a moment. Liv is here. 

He feels frozen in this moment, staring down the short hallway that leads to the door. Whatever happens next is either going to be very good or very bad. And he has no idea what to expect. 

“Astarion!” Petras hisses, and he’s brought back to his body. “Answer the damn door. Go!”

He nods quickly and hurries to the door, opening it to find Liv. She’s bundled up against the cold, cheeks bright from it. He drinks in the sight of her, unsure for how long he’ll be able to do so. 

“Hi,” she says with a tight smile. 

“Hi,” he breathes. 

Behind him, he hears Petras peek around the hallway. “Hi, Liv!”

She offers Petras a smile much less complicated than the one she’d given him. He tries not to resent it. “Maybe we should chat out front?” 

“Sure.”

He doesn’t need it, but he grabs his coat anyway, if only because it gives him something to do with his hands, and follows her back out into the cold, into the small courtyard in front of Petras’s apartment building. 

There’s a mixed sense of anticipation and dread. He wishes he knew whether he was walking towards the death of something or not. He wants to ask, but instead, he decides to wait, she’s clearly got some sort of plan, and…well, he’d follow her anywhere. Even out here. And he tries to make peace with the fact that this could be the end of everything and that maybe in a few moments, all he’ll have is the comfort that he did get to love her, and that will have to be enough. Because he does love her, but he wants her happiness more. Whatever that means for him. 

The silence drags on, but he’s aware it hasn’t really been that long when she turns and begins to speak. “Thank you…for giving me some space to figure this all out.”

“Of course,” he replies, stuffing his hands in his pockets so that she can’t see the way they’re shaking. 

“When you told me about the Weave…and I had to run through all those conversations and memories and pass them through the lens of that new understanding…it felt…it felt a lot like when my mother told me about my half-brother,” she explains. 

Oh, shit. He hadn’t thought… “I’m so sorry, I didn’t -”

She holds up a hand. “I know, and…it’s not your fault that it triggered those memories. You were wrong to keep that from me, and you could’ve just kept going on like that. I never had to know…but you value honesty too much.”

It’s funny to have spent so much of his life lying and pretending. Even his career is in some ways a bit dishonest, the way he hides behind a handle and can’t show his face. But she’s right, in this, with her…honest is the only way he can have it. 

“I should have told you sooner,” he says, gaze falling to the pavement. 

“Yeah, you should have,” she agrees. “But I forgive you.”

The vice grip on his chest loosens, just a bit. “You do?” He looks back at her, her green eyes are soft, full of an emotion he can’t quite place. 

She steps closer, not quite touching him, but it would be easy to close the distance entirely. He keeps his hands in his pockets, lest he does something to mar this moment, lest he’s read this wrong. 

“You made a mistake, but you’ve owned up to it. And I think you’ve been punishing yourself long enough. Don’t you?”

No. Not just for this…but for everything that came before it too. The years and the pain and all the ways that he kept himself locked up there. “Some days I don’t know how to move forward…if I’m even moving forward or just…walking in a circle.”

She nods like she understands, and he knows she does. “Do you want to figure it out together?”

“Yes,” he breathes. He wants nothing more. 

She smiles. “Good, I really miss my roommate.”

Is that all? He wants to be content with that…with whatever and however she’ll have him. “I missed you, too.”

But that is not all he wants to tell her, and he has waited too long and suffered too much to not at least try . “You are the single brightest spot in my life. You’re brilliant and funny and kind. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed just knowing that you exist. I love knowing how you take your coffee and that you watch baking shows when you’re stressed. I love getting to be the person you come home to every day. You’re the best roommate I’ve ever had, but I don’t want to just be your roommate. Liv…”

Her eyes are bright as she gently cups his face. At her touch, all words desert him. He leans into the gentleness she offers. “I love you.”

After everything? Even knowing every bit of darkness? All his secrets…everything he is so ashamed of? She loves him. And she wouldn’t say if it wasn’t true. This feels too big to hold. “I love you, too.”

“So kiss her already!” 

They both turn to look back at Petras’s building, seeing him standing at his bedroom window, head propped on his chin, unashamedly eavesdropping. He scowls and flips Petras off, but then Liv’s hands are back on his face and she’s pressing onto her tiptoes to kiss him and he forgets to be annoyed. 

Her lips are soft where they meet his, but he cannot help but deepen the kiss, arms wrapping around her and pressing her fully against him. She loves him, and he feels the truth of it with every press of her lips and gentle caress of her hands. 

Liv pulls away all too soon. “Do you want to come home?” Home. She’d told him that their apartment wasn’t home, but it is, for them both.

He pulls her back in. “Gods yes. You’ve no idea how dismal the shower pressure is here.”

She laughs into his kiss, and he thinks it might be the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

***

Liv books a rideshare back to their apartment after bidding goodbye to Petras. Despite his unabashed listening in on their conversation, Astarion had even thanked him for allowing him to stay there, and there had been some understanding passing between that she was glad to see. If nothing else, the events of the last week have shown both her and Astarion that they are not alone in this city. 

Still, it feels right to walk into their apartment together, falling right into routines and habits as if no time has passed at all. They hang their coats on the hooks near the door and she places her keys in the bowl on the counter. 

Astarion pauses as he enters the kitchen. “You cleaned.”

She shrugs. “Helps me think.”

“And what all did you need to think about?” he asks. Because he would need to know, to understand what kept her from forgiving him immediately, what kept them apart.

She steps closer to him and leans against the counter. He’d held her hand the whole way back here, as though letting go might mean she’d simply disappear. It breaks her heart a little to realize how tenuous this all must seem to him. She needs to explain this, explain it right. “That despite my knee-jerk reaction you don’t and have never treated me in the same ways my family has. For years, I minimized everything they did. I made excuses for the ways they treated me. And it was easy because none of it was outright abuse, no one hit me…no one told me to my face that I was unlovable or stupid or only worthwhile if I did something that they could brag about…It was easy for me to believe I was the one with the problem when faced with their utter indifference.

“So I made excuses and I minimized my own pain so much that when the next thing happened…I was always filled with so much hope it would be different this time that it all felt like fresh betrayal. Every damn time. Until I cut them out of my life, I didn’t realize just how…exhausted I was.”

His eyes are hard. “You deserve so much better than the ways they treated you.”

She nods. “I know. I know that now. If this past year has taught me anything, it’s that…they’re the problem not me. But I did allow it for a long time…so when you told me the truth…I was…I was afraid that forgiving you would be falling back into that same cycle. But it was unfair to you.”

“And I was unfair to treat you like someone who might discard me the moment I didn’t live up to expectations. You’ve always been patient…understanding…kind.” He steps closer, presses his forehead against hers. “We are…both of us…more than what others have made us.”

“I love you,” she says. The words come easier the more she says them, the more he offers them back. And the words are nice, but they have been telling each other how much they care in smaller, more subtle ways for a while now. She thinks the speed should scare her, but it doesn’t. It just feels right . 

His whole face softens at her words. “And I love you.”

“I’m in this, Astarion. All in. No matter the risk.”

He takes her hands in his. “I still don’t know what I’m doing. I might…hurt you again….even without meaning to.”

She squeezes his hands. “We’ll probably hurt each other, but that’s just part of being imperfect people. What matters is what we do every other day, not just the bad ones.”

“You make me feel like all the struggle might be worth it,” he says and then he’s kissing her, lips soft and insistent. Her arms are around his neck and he’s pulling her flush against him while backing her against the counter. They’ve been here before, kissing and touching and holding one another, but this feels different. There’s an undercurrent of need pulsing through them both, as though they’re trying to reach something in each other no one has ever found before.  

They are so often careful with the physical aspect of their relationship, but there is nothing careful about the way Astarion kisses her now, every touch a branding. He lifts her onto the counter, and her legs wrap around his waist, locking him there. Cool fingers ruck her sweater up, run over the exposed area of her stomach and waist before pushing higher to cup her breast through her bra. She is surprised as the sound it coaxes from her, the low neediness of the whine. He drops his attention to her neck, kissing and gently worrying the sensitive skin with his teeth while her fingers tunnel through his hair. 

He pulls back and they’re both breathing hard, but his crimson eyes are bright and alert, and so very present. “Your bed or mine?” he asks. 

“We don’t-” she begins only to be cut off with a fierce kiss from him. 

He pulls back just enough to brush his nose against hers. “I’m all in.”

And what a gift that is. “Yours.” And then she drops off the counter, letting him lead her to his room. She pauses at the threshold. “Not exactly interested in adding another roommate to the mix though, do I need to grab a condom?”

He smiles a little at her attempt at a joke. “I’m not interested in that either, though it’s less of a concern for me. Vampires…can’t.”

“Good to know…I’ve got an IUD, but I’m usually paranoid enough to use both.”

“Now that doesn’t surprise me one bit.”

He pulls her in, easing her sweater up and over her head before discarding his own shirt. She laughs as she nearly loses her balance trying to kick off her shoes and kiss him at the same time, and he’s smiling into every kiss too. This feels different than the night he drank from her, there’s a lightness to it, an absence of shame, still, she is careful in following his lead. 

He removes her bra and she is nearly undone by the press of skin against skin, the drag of her breasts along the smooth expanse of his chest. He pushes her jeans down and she steps out of them, already working at the button on his pants as he presses her down onto the bed. 

When he breaks away to kiss down her chest, tongue circling the peak of her breast, she stays watchful, looking for any sign or hint that this is too much. His gaze meets hers and reads the concern there. He crawls back up her body, and brings them nose to nose, the weight of him a solid press into the softness of the bed. 

“Stop worrying. I’m with you. Besides…I’ve had such plans since the last night we spent in my bed.” There’s no false confidence, no forced aloofness, just a naked earnestness that feels softer, more hopeful than anything he’s shown her before. 

He pulls away, kneeling on the floor and pulling her to the edge of the bed with him. He kisses the inside of her thigh, watching her with an obvious question in his eyes. Her mouth feels too dry to form words, so she simply nods and lets him pull her underwear away before burying his face between her legs. 

Her fingers clench the sheets as he licks her tongue toying at her entrance before darting up to her clit and white-hot pleasure courses all the way through her. It takes every ounce of willpower not to tighten her thighs around his head, worried what he might feel if she boxes him in. She’s lost for several moments in the movements of his tongue, drifting on the waves of slowly building pleasure. 

And then she feels his fingers move inside her and she nearly jumps at the sensation. “Astarion…”

“Hmmm?” he hums with amusement, mouth closing around her clit, the vibration making her see stars. Her hips buck uncontrollably at the sensation, and his fingers move inside her at a torturously slow pace, but all it takes is a flick of her clit with his tongue and she’s coming around him with a soft cry. 

His fingers coax her through the orgasm and when she gathers herself enough to look at him, she realizes he’s watching her with a soft, self-satisfied smile. She’s already pulling him to her, and he follows easily, discarding his briefs as he crawls up her body. She flips him as he kisses her, tasting herself on his lips, his hands in her hair. 

Now, there is nothing between them, just the coolness of his skin against hers. She rocks forward, groaning at the sensation of her swollen clit on his cock. He whispers her name and she breaks away from the kiss, only for him to carefully cradle her face in his hands. His hips roll below hers, and she shifts just slightly to feel his cock at her entrance. It’s tempting to simply sink down onto him, but she waits, breathing hard. 

One of his hands skates down her neck, over her shoulder, and across her waist. She shivers at the soft caress before he pulls her to him, his cock pressing inside of her. Fully sheathed inside her, he presses his forehead against hers, eyes falling shut. She kisses him, softly, tenderly and then they begin moving together in a broken rhythm. 

They move slowly as if this isn’t the first time but the thousandth, hands reverently seeking each other. Liv doesn’t forget the act of trust that this is, how preciously rare. He kisses down her neck, sitting them both up so he has better access to her breasts. He swirls one nipple with his tongue while his hand gently squeezes at the other, it’s all she can do to hold on as she moves in his lap. He leans back up to capture her lips in a hard kiss, his breathing stuttering as his hold on her tightens. 

“I’ve got you,” she whispers into his skin, reaffirming it with the press of her lips on his neck, his chest, whatever parts of him she can reach. 

He flips them in one fluid movement, rocking into her, hips picking up speed. He reaches between them, fingers brushing her clit, another orgasm building at her edges. She meets each thrust of his hips, the friction driving them both higher. The wave of pleasure rolls over her first, his name escapes her in a breathless whisper. He follows soon after, coming nearly soundlessly, arms tightening around her. 

He pulls back just enough to look at her, his eyes a little wide, but they remain connected, his softening cock still inside her. 

She brushes an errant curl out of his face. “I love you.”

He presses his face into her neck, breathes her in. “You are everything.”

And they lay there together, comfortably entwined for a long, long while.