#it misses a couple details but the gist is there

[claire-starsword]

More retranslations of the first game and this one somehow doesn't destroy any big plot points for once. It does have this gem, though:

[lightofraye]

Food For Thought

Fear not, I am still working on the next review of Wales Comic Con. I'm wishing there were close-ups of the convention so I could have a better look of faces, but it may have to be what it is.

But that's not what this post is about.

AustinCon--SPNAustin/SPNAus/Whatever the acronym--is already starting and we've heard and seen some rather inappropriate commentary from Kim and Briana (dear gods, please, develop some class!), Matt Cohen... being peculiar... a group karaoke that largely consisted of the "extras" (as they're often called), and the BBQ with Jensen and Steve (aka Radio Company).

It's been a trip watching the photos and commentary by fans. Or stans. Or is it both?

Of course, I didn't forget Jared and his book event with Genevieve (well, her book event). They were cute together! I keep forgetting just how freaking tall he is until I saw that full length photo and just stared. I'm above average for a woman myself--5'9"--and something tells me he'd give me a crick in my neck just to talk to him.

Out of all of that, the one that disappointed me a bit was hearing the BBQ with Radio Company lasted only an hour. For more than $300, I'd expect it to last at least a couple of hours.

Not for the first time, I wonder about the financial problems that may or may not be plaguing the Ackles. There's a lot of things not adding up and the BBQ event was a "last minute" addition (like just a month ago). Unfortunately, it's all speculation and I have so many theories spinning through my mind. Pieces of a whole, missing key points that may never be answered.

However, as I've been musing, I recalled a conversation with a follower. A quick message, a comment. They mentioned a recent Meet and Greet with Jensen. Of course, with the Non-Disclosure Agreement, they couldn't go into details. But could, at least, give me a general gist:

"In a recent meet and greet, Jensen shared information that convinced me that he is home often. Little things, but also one main piece unrelated to kids or wife that proved he spends significant amount of time at home."

This may be true. The mansion has three floors plus a basement. It's certainly huge enough that he could quite literally have a whole wing to himself, an aspect of separation without the legalese involved. The blueprints of the mansion showed it was entirely possible.

But... it still niggled at me.

In discussing it with a few others, one person chimed in. "That basement is large enough to fit a bedroom, office, gym, and so much more!"

And it hit me.

They had the equipment of a gym back in Austin, when Jensen was trying to bulk up for Soldier Boy back then for Season 3 of The Boys. We saw the videos, the photos. I imagine they moved the equipment with them. So why did we see several photos of Jensen at an outside gym?

It's not for a trainer, though the exclusive gym he went to could've provided one. Or, with his money, he could hire a private one to attend to him at the mansion!

So why outside the mansion?

The answer is altogether too heartbreaking: he can't abide to be at home.

It's safer, and healthier, to be away.

Then I remembered a discussion I had with one of my... I'll call them 'industry experts'. Meet and Greets are where actors 'test' stories, see how they land and then use the 'successful' stories in later conventions. With the NDAs, fans wouldn't be able to say anything without risking a lawsuit, expensive ones at that.

It'd certainly explain the weird shifting of stories that don't always ring true or change too fast. Like when he was in Rome, Jensen said Danneel liked cooking Italian food. Later, in France, it was French food and French music. How many fans would listen to every single one of those conventions and match stories? Or even care that it changed too much, too fast, and with gaping holes that felt awkward?

Pieces of a whole. Generic stories, nothing specific. Not of Danneel asking him to try something new that tasted incredible. Or a burnt food accident that smoked out their kitchen. Or the kids enjoying one of the songs.

Get what I mean?

The pieces don't fit. He says one thing here, another thing there, and it doesn't match.

If he's still persistently trying to build the Family Man Image... if Gersh has someone monitoring keywords (GERSH! GERSH! GERSH! Does it work like Beetlejuice?), I'd advise them to tell Jensen to stop. It's not working. Maybe for a small section of a dying fandom (oh god, please don't kill me), but for the rest? We're not buying it.

And for his mental and emotional--and hell, physical!--health, I'd say he should try to go for the divorced dad image.

Lots of things stirring in my mind. Far too much.

This week was hard. Seeing the ongoing put down from people who don't understand the mindset of someone in the middle of abuse, the insults, the demeaning comments ("weak", "pussy", "not a man", and so forth) really got to me. Broke my heart.

Then there's the controversy surrounding the movie, "It Ends With Us", and the inaccuracy of the ending that had me headdesking repeatedly.

It seemed the theme of the week is Domestic Violence.

For survivors, who got away. For the victims, who are still trapped. For those who think it's normal, because they don't know any better (yes, this is a thing; if a person's baseline is well below what should be considered okay, what makes you think they'd know differently?).

It's emotionally draining. It's exhausting.

But every so often I get a message of support, of people who are grateful for me speaking out.

And then there's my son, who I am desperate to keep safe.

Breaking of cycles have to begin somewhere.

Let it start with me.

[luckycharmer]

hmm the last few days I was thinking of a new au thats kinda inspired by the classic “soulmates see in black and white until they see each other for the first time” type au, but trolls 🤔 Granted I’m using the term “soulmate” kinda loosely here, more like “destined relationship”, but soulmate has that extra oomph to it yea?

I don’t have time to draw anything for it right now but here’s the gist:

all trolls are born/hatched grey (very low saturation of color), each time they sing and their voice harmonizes with their soulmate they gain saturation, a little at a time

some trolls can gain color when they sing solo; most, if not all trolls will have multiple soulmates they can harmonize with to gain color (romantic and/or platonic)

strong family bonds can also work (the perfect family harmony is particularly powerful) so dont worry about trollings, they babble along to their parent’s songs and theyre set until they learn to sing properly

the “morning song” in pop village is a tradition to help keep all trolls as vibrant as possible, since many will harmonize at once

in general, the brighter the saturation, the better the overall health and vigor of the troll

if a troll has yet to harmonize with all their soulmates, there will always be a certain degree of desaturation and they can tell they’re not 100%. The norm for saturation is about 75-95%, either the unknown soulmates are assumed to be from an estranged pop village or lost from the time in the Troll Tree (they don’t know about the other troll tribes yet)

“going grey” can still happen, and if it happens to an already grey troll (one that never or hardly harmonized), they can start to lose even the grey hue and turn pale/white and sickly

other troll tribes like the rock trolls can have a naturally low saturation even at 100%, the gradient is just more subtle

Anyway, for many years Poppy tried her best to harmonize with as many trolls as she could but never quite reached full saturation. Even harmonizing with her best friends could only do so much. After some time she started to come to terms with the fact she may never find her missing soulmate, however some part of her always held on to that hope. Branch has been grey for many years at this point, so long now he’s starting to fade to white. Going so long without singing, let alone harmonizing with anyone, on top of his mission to build and maintain the bunker took a lot out of him and left him grumpy, short-tempered, and tired, so so tired. Most of the first movie’s events happen in parallel to the og.

Fast forward to the True Colors scene, all of the trolls have turned grey, including Poppy. She and Branch harmonize during the song and not only does Poppy regain the color she just lost, but she’s brighter overall. Along with Branch, who is now the loveliest shades of light blue and indigo (he doesn’t regain his full saturation right away, that will take time and a couple more harmonies to restore).

I like to think that Poppy and Bridget’s friendship also gained Poppy some color since they’re practically sisters, but bergans aren’t affected the same way so even though there’s no difference to her, she’s still honored.

will try to draw some for this later but had to get the details down so I don’t forget

[ryuusei-ryka]

I emerge from my grave to post a theory about MILGRAM

Hello hello everyone! I don't know how many of you will see this post due to my avoidance of social media these past years and thus my absolute ignorance about every possible change in this site.

ANYHOW let's get down to business.

I am going to write this post because I made my boyfriend (who does not use tumblr) catch up to MILGRAM's second trial and while I was teaching him about some fan theories he said something that I'm not sure I'll believe, but BOY isn't that interesting. So I thought it would be cool to share with other people and hear their thoughts.

Now, as the cool kids say, theory under the cut (?).

A necessary premise to do is that this theory is built on another one (that I can't find so please if you happen to have the link to the post, give it to me so that I can put it here!) that says Kotoko's murder is actually an indirect one.

If I recall correctly without missing anything important, this thesis exists due to Deep Cover being so vague about the murder and on a specific official picture, this one:

We can clearly see Haruka, Muu, Shido, Amane and Mikoto on one side and Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru, Kazui and Kotoko on the other. Being that the first column murders are all direct (choking, cutterknife in the gut, dissection, crashing head with a mace/bat) and the second one's are all indirect (abortion, cyberbullying, toxic love, miscommunication), Kotoko being there could imply that hers too is an indirect murder.

I'm not fond on this theory tbh (just based on my guts and my perception of the girl), especially because here they're all just arranged to make a "snake" following their numbers (Haruka on the bottom left -> Yuno on the bottom right -> Fuuta besides her higher on the right -> back on the left side with Muu -> up left with Shidou... and so on, I hope the gist's clear skfvnfk). Surely there is a reason behind the "snake" arrangement given how MILGRAM is so keen on hidden details, but the direct/indirect murder thing? Not my two cents (but it'd be super cool to be proven wrong of course).

Another thing worth mentioning for the sake of this post is the very first (?) theory about MILGRAM, aka Es as the 11th prisoner. I don't want to be negative, but I'm not fond on this one either- that's just because it would be so predictable that, eh, it'd make me a bit sad.

SO, all this premise is to get to THIS POST's theory.

What if the real prison pairs are 0102, 0304, 0506, 0708, 0909 and 1011? Let me elaborate a bit.

Every couple from 0102 to 0708 has allegedly (MILGRAM may prove everything wrong of course) one indirect and one direct murder, fact. At the same time we all know that prisoner 09 is a system, so there are at least two people in there, one being "clueless" Mikoto, one being "violent" John (I'm putting it simply, I'm not symplifying everything due to disrespect, I swear).

So, theory is: what if Mikoto's system represents both direct and indirect murder, while Kotoko represents direct murder because Es (aka we) represesents the indirect one?

I've seen a theory stating that the real prisoner in Milgram is not Mikoto, not John (as we have seen in their first VD), but it's actually Midokoto (not elaborating because I'm pretty sure you're all aware of the threekoto theory). That'd be because even if John may be the one doing the killing (not considering it may very well be Mikoto himself tbf), Midokoto most likely is the gatekeeper of the system. That means HE is the one in charge of deciding the alter that fronts, thus letting John/Mikoto swap and, well, crash someone's head with a bat. Knowing Milgram as far as we've seen it, it's not absurd that it would consider Midokoto the "mastermind" of the action, having then the "culprit" of indirect murder and the one that phisically did it both in one body.

So then, Kotoko is very likely (at least in my opinion) to have killed in a very phisical way as well. We still don't really know her story nor her victim but, assuming it's not the CEO son she reads about nor the guy we see on the floor both in HARROW and Deep Cover, vigilantes usually take very direct actions as far as I know. It's easy for someone so blinded by their belief to take a step further and, well, overstep.

Es, on the other hand, is the guard of Milgram, but it's pristine they know... as much as the prisoners, basically? They hear Jackalope and all, yeah, but... they're still part of the experiment/whatever it is (so maybe this theory may work even if Es is not the 11th prisoner, as long as they're part of the experiment). The first trial ended substantially well if we think that everyone survived, but we know nothing about what will happen now that the second one has ended. Probably (hopefully) Kotoko won't be able to lash on the unforgiven prisoners, but what if Haruka manages to k*ll himself? That'd be a death "caused" by Es judgement... fulfilling the indirect murder requirement [and making everyone who ever voted a ~ murderer ~ (to Milgram's eyes, ofc)].

I don't know if any of this is plausible nor anything about Kotoko's murder, so it may very well be just something silly... but I thought it was super interesting, so I wanted to share it!

Feel free to reply/write to me to share your opinion!

[xivvins]

I’m posting (rambling) about my vampire ocs bc. I NEED to talk about them (& I feel awkward randomly asking my friends if I can rant about my ocs to them lolololol)

Anyway this is Evita. My pride and joy. I didn’t feel like drawing her so here’s a lil picrew (pretend there’s white streaks in her hair) + an older/outdated drawing but you get the idea

There are three major people in her human life that I have noted down for now; her twin sister, Genie, her mother, Cecile, and her fiancé, who does not have a name for now.

She was turned on the night of her wedding by her fiancé/husband. That’s basically the gist of her backstory atm lol. Her hubby went missing for a night, was found battered in the forest, made a speedy recovery, then !plot twist! it’s (HEAVILY) implied he was turned that night, and ended up sloppily turning her in a sorta starving rampage.

Here’s a lil doodle I made a while ago of Eve on that night. Once again, kinda outdated design, but more recent than the other drawing.

I’m thinking her mother got impregnated when she was pretty young, 17-18, but I really need to flesh her out more, since she is very important to Eve both before and after she’s turned. Evie’s a big mama’s girl.

And this is her situationship, Vivianne. (Please do not judge me for the “Top ten most unique French female names” ass name. It has stuck throughout my years of having her)

This is the most recent drawing of her; unfortunately I only have one lol

The most notable people in her human life are; her father, unnamed, and her little brother, Achille

A (kinda) goth femme vampire oc with daddy issues???? What a shocker, such groundbreaking storytelling.

I haven’t exactly gotten into specifics yet (you’ll find that a lot within this story; I’ve had these ocs sitting around for a very long time but I have only now begun to actually flesh them out/do stuff with them), but essentially after years of toxicity Viv snaps and kills her father in the midst of a violent argument. Her father is terribly injured, but does not die immediately. Vivianne, unaware of this fact, panics and runs off in the night with her little brother. She does not bother to explain what has just happened, but she’s so panicked and insistent that Achille just goes along with it out of confusion and fear.

The details are fuzzy, but I’m thinking at some point they escape to America, Achille dies, and Viv ends up giving her life to a handsome dark stranger (a vampire, her maker), as she has nothing else to lose.

Years after, Viv would find a freshly turned, and very malnourished, Evita wandering around, confused. Viv and her maker, Sire, end up taking her in and teaching her the ropes.

(Note that Sire is a placeholder name; I’m not sure it’ll stick)

I still need to get dates and ages in order, as well as draw some other important characters (like Eve & Viv’s families and Sire. Who, I’ll add, is important to Eve and Viv’s story, I just have yet to flesh him out as much as I have the other two. He takes care of Eve & Viv when they begin their “second life,” and ig serves as a father figure to them depending on how you look at it)

Lighthearted side note:

I do realize that it is quite the coincidence that they are a black American + white French gay vampire couple. No they are not inspired by Louis and Lestat. I made them before I even knew iwtv was a thing (they started out as Gacha life ocs in case you were wondering lol)

[dnangelic]

IM DONE WITH THE FIRST LN..... it was rlly cute and idk how much i trust my summarizing skills (or google translate wheelchairing me thru everything) but ill try, disclaimer that not all of this will necessarily be in perfect detail or order bc i'm horrible at that but it's a gist(tm). LNs take place really early on in the series so daisuke still likes risa and hasn't properly figured out he likes riku yet, dark is WAAAAY more of a creep, etc. also putting it under a read more because it's enormous. open at your own discretion, this is ~200 pages condensed into one post

first few chapters is mostly shenanigans/general chara introductions and setting up the fact daisuke's class is doing a sleeping beauty school play. risa's the princess, hiwatari's the prince, daisuke and riku are basically fairy extras, but daisuke is also the last fairy with important lines that basically help to wake up the princess in the end. in the midst of all this daisuke transforms a couple of times but mostly keeps control of his body, clumsy gap moe darksuke stuff ensues, dark in his head even tells dai to go have some fun and daisuke snaps back that fun for dark is either stealing or flirting with girls and he's NOT doing any of that. 😂

daisuke kind of huffs and mopes about what's going on between him and dark a bunch, with dark 'stealing' risa away from him and simultaneously taking over his entire life, to which emiko offers to listen but daiki tells her that 'a confrontation with dark is a confrontation with oneself' and 'there's nothing you can do.' there's also this very nice passage about dark and his relationship with the artworks that happens:

daisuke was looking at the weathervane spinning on the roof of a certain western-style building. there are many buildings like this, which have both a profound sense of history and delicate beauty in the area where daisuke lives. as his mother once said, the townscape was perfect for a gorgeous phantom thief. these are precious objects that survived an era when art in general was treated badly by the rapid development of science and technology, and the people who used it. as works of art and the techniques used to create them were lost, their rarity value and prices soared, and now they were treated with more respect than before. daisuke had heard stories like this from his grandfather and mother. most of what dark aims for is something imbued with that lost technique. however, these items are not sold and are still sleeping in the basement of the niwa family's house. high tech is progressing in areas that can't be seen, and efforts are being made to prevent intrusions by unscrupulous people. ironically, the same science and technology that eliminated traditional crafts and their techniques are now being used to protect what little beauty and skill that remains. for daisuke, who transformed into dark, breaking through multiple security devices and traps to steal wasn't difficult to do. but how to earn the heart of the one he loved?

daisuke also misses kosuke (his dad) a whole bunch cause he isn't home yet and is still on a trip (he doesn't even know what his dad is really doing,) cue this portion too about his personal anxieties. interesting bits about how daisuke's family doesn't mind how daisuke does at school/goes as long as he prioritizes his skills as a phantom thief because a certain level of educational mastery is needed. daisuke wonders to himself whether or not his mom and grandpa would 'cry again if he asked them to be sensible' lmao.

anyways, emiko pulls out a couple of date tickets to a newly built aquarium/museum called the aqua dome/deep blue, says she'll pick out a cute and cool outfit for daisuke, dark offers to go in daisuke's stead, daisuke tells both of them to shut up and says that he can do it all himself. 'i'll never let you go!' he tells dark. at the aquarium itself it turns out the two tickets that emiko gave him provides admittance for two people per single ticket, so even though he expected a solo date with risa, riku and saehara show up too.

riku actually gets a lot of character focus for being 'strong' and not 'cute' like risa. she's simultaneously insecure/jealous but considerate of risa while risa likewise complains that no matter what she does, she'll still be the younger one with an older sister, and that can't change. riku's sense of conflict over liking daisuke while daisuke (at this point) still likes risa is described as her feeling both a 'burning feeling' and also being 'cold and dark as ice,' which i liked, given the way dnangel usually handles that thematic.

everybody (riku, risa, daisuke, and saehara) goes to a haunted house attraction. daisuke is willing to go because he thinks it's a good chance to show off his cool side since he's a pro at walking in the dark. there's a mechanical 'killer' that chases anybody in the haunted house, which daisuke immediately figures out in regards to how it functions. riku and daisuke also have a sweet moment where in the pitch dark daisuke starts shaking because he's terrified he's suddenly transformed, (he didn't) and gets misunderstood for constantly looking at the emergency exit, but riku grabs his hand and tells him everything's okay in a big sister-ly way, even though she's actually really afraid of blood and is trying to act tough to comfort/encourage him. she tells him not to be afraid because she's with him, daisuke says thanks then grabs her hand back. 'her hands, still a little smaller than the small daisuke's, stopped shaking a little.' 😭😭😭

they leave the haunted house attraction and figure out that saehara has pretty much gone off on his own. saehara comes across satoshi in a fancy suit inside an area 'modeled after some traditional opera house' (POTO REF POG) and satoshi gets described as 'some rich guy's bonbon' LMAO. wiz is also there and starts 'playing tag' with a guard. around the actual aquarium daisuke's having a great time, risa calls a sea otter cute and daisuke can't bring himself to say 'you're cuter,' which he's sure that someone like dark could have said without any embarrassment. (MY SON'S HIDDEN RIZZ!!)

daisuke finally gets to see the mermaid's tears (an artwork/red gemstones) being showcased at the bottom of the attraction, has this crazy moment:

'the reason for the "please do not lean over" warning on this fence is because the 3d light that is projected from the floor covering the mermaid's tears doubles as a sensor to detect intruders. the security device activates when the light is blocked. daisuke carefully listened as a security guard gave an explanation to two young women who were trying to touch the 3d mermaid.

that means we have to do something about security first.

reflexively thinking that, daisuke scratched his head and said 'no way, are even my thoughts turning into dark's?! i'm not going to turn into dark anymore!'

he screams internally while risa gets lost in the daydream sauce, they go to the gift shop, the great phantom dark is a broke ass middleschooler moment. all of the sudden, riku starts shouting at someone to give back risa's wallet- it's a pickpocket. daisuke's legs start moving as soon as he sees riku get pushed away and the pickpocket starts running. daisuke reminds himself he can't cause a commotion only as he's already tackling the guy, who he had absolutely no trouble catching up to/keeping up with. only, he's too small and there's no way he can compete with a grown man in strength, so he gets flung away. he stays where he is 'suppressing the urge' to throw a punch, hiwatari shows up above him sending security to catch the pickpocket, but also softly compliments daisuke for a 'great performance' while lending him a hand to stand up. turns out daisuke had stolen risa's wallet right back and still had it in his hand.

'what? ah ... ah .... '

it's obvious, after all. daisuke, holding risa's wallet in hand, could only laugh.

in fact, the split second daisuke was clinging to [the pickpocket,] he slipped the wallet out of the [pickpocket's] pocket, and just before he was hit by an elbow, he let go and fell. what he miscalculated was that he couldn't slow down enough and fell on his face. and then there was hiwatari. without him, this "perfect crime" would have been completed.

daisuke immediately starts considering satoshi and his own's circumstances.

'i once heard that people with cold hands have warm hearts. hiwatari is always alone. but is that what he wants? just like saehara, who is always chasing scoops, and like his classmates who attend cram school with their future in mind, i wonder if hiwatari is also trying to do something, at the expense of a normal, enjoyable school life. i wonder why he's going to such lengths to pursue dark.

even though i'm being chased, i have no goals. even though i'm just desperately struggling to escape from dark.

turns out deep blue if not the entire aqua dome was built Specifically with dark in mind, and that's why the area where the mermaid's tears' are is called the special exhibition room. daisuke bursts out laughing at the fact and hiwatari briefly touches him to ask if he's okay. daisuke blurts out asking if he wants to have fun too and hiwatari basically declines with nothing more than a 'faint, gentle smile' and a thank you. risa and riku rush over and start to fret over daisuke because his face has gotten all messed up; he tries to laugh it off and say 'it's no big deal' until riku's expression darkens and she asks him 'why are you being so reckless?'

even if someone asked me why, i couldn't answer because my body moved without any time to think.

(MY SON'S HIDDEN PROTAG SYNDROME!!) risa gets her wallet back and calls dai manly, dai gets rocketed into heaven just from that sole compliment. they go to the artificial beach that's part of the area, daisuke has a moment over risa and starts to transform.

daisuke ran as fast as he could, interrupting the love stories of the couples scattered on the beach. no matter how far you run, no matter how hard you run, your shadow will follow you. the strong midsummer sun gives the shadows a sense of presence. there is a clear boundary between light and shadow, but this is the opposite. what is shining is not the owner of this body, but dark, who's supposed to be a shadow...

... i'm embarrassed, pathetic, and angry because i was so excited. daisuke is always there. it's my other self who effortlessly accomplishes the things i want to do but can't.

dark walks out of the banyan forest daisuke had dived into and onto the beach like he's hot shit. unfortunately for everybody involved he is because the very first thing he does is start flirting with an icecream lady, who gives him an icecream cone 'about three times the height' of a normal ice cream cone, calling it a service. dark offers to give a picture or something in return to her btw, but she declines and only asks him to come again. dark says 'of course, i'll come to see you,' and winks swaggering off. he immediately hands off the icecream to some other girls who cling to his arms and bring up that he looks like dark, to which he has a total tony hawk moment.

'i thought i've seen you somewhere before, but don't you look like dark?' 'they look alike, it's so cool!' 'oh, did you find out? actually, i came to steal the mermaid's tears.' dark grinned, and the girls gaped for a moment, then burst out laughing. 'i almost believed it!' 'it's the truth.'

dark and risa have a moment, daisuke starts to fall into total despair. riku appears and dark hauls ass to transform back. everyone starts to leave the aqua dome because it's getting late, and it's riku and not risa who notices that daisuke is suddenly intensely depressed. he says he's fine and gives a half-hearted smile that looks like it's about to burst into tears, they fall into silence. cue a lovely image of daisuke staring blankly at the nighttime scenery. 'the image reflected in the window glass overlaps with the pitch-black town. without realizing it, he was gradually becoming darker.... daisuke couldn't escape.'

later in bed daisuke wakes up in a lot of pain to turn on the lights. he's relieved because 'instead of the beautiful phantom thief who is said to be more popular than idol celebrities, he saw a very ordinary face that is sometimes said to be cute.' turns out his back's hurting for the past few days harshly enough that he's getting sleep deprived. after transforming back from dark he fell about two meters (6~7 feet) and insists that he could have broken one or two bones if he weren't trained. emiko had laughed saying it was a product of his training, but for daisuke it wasn't any sort of laughing matter.

the pain is similar to the pain that occurs when transforming into dark. it slowly melts out from the core of the body. ugh, it hurts. it was a pain that felt like something was trying to forcibly reshape daisuke's body.

the next day at school saehara and daisuke start doing a manzai routine over wiz being caught transforming on camera. there's an ominous note in the midst of it regarding change: 'even if it transforms, then like a chrysalis, it won't go back to normal.' daisukes goes into the art room to finish on the last piece for the school play.

a forest of thorns covers sleeping beauty's castle. countless fingers that obstruct those who try to break the curse. i layered many kinds of dark colors on that forest. on her 15th birthday, sleeping beauty's future is suddenly closed to her, and her sadness is midnight blue. the thorns that cause anxiety are spruce green. the feeling of trapping despair is the same as dark's wings.

the glue made a clear shadow of daisuke on the test paper. the shadow of the brush that was creating the deep forest suddenly stopped moving.

it won't go back to normal. the curse can't be erased. i can't get those words out of my head. the only girl who can erase the curse is, of course, the only one who can see the curse itself. will i continue to be myself and no longer myself without anyone knowing?

hiwatari puts a hand on daisuke's shoulder as he's going unsteady and daisuke immediately says that he's fine, just not getting enough sleep- but also he hasn't made any progress on his homework, he has to memorize his lines, and he's being swayed by saehara. dai finally brings up that he's never really thought abut the future, and he immediately berates himself for talking about something like it in front of satoshi, who had excellent grades and was already part of the police force. hiwatari surprises him by saying 'me too, i've never though about the future. i've lived my life thinking only about one thing.' no further elaboration is given as hiwatari offers to help out and immediately picks out daisuke's coloring as 'the color of despair.'

daisuke laughed. i tried my best, but i ended up slipping up quite a bit. it's like i painted myself. like sleeping beauty, everything is taken away from her. her love, her body, even her future... she becomes dark and may never be able to return to her former self.

this might be a serious passage but daisuke comparing himself to a fairy tale princess is so funny and on point for me. YOU CAN DO THIS CHRISTINE!!! later after school emiko shows up with the entire aqua dome's cutaway floor plan, and daisuke has NO idea how she managed to get it but starts planning the heist out. everything is practically set against him; darkness is prevented, there's only one vent that's' too small to get through, and there are hidden passages not shown in the drawings. daisuke reaaally wants to stop being dark, dark himself yells NO!!! and emiko and daiki also barge out from the hallway to immediately berate him. 'don't be selfish! if you don't do it, who will? even though mother wanted to be dark, dai-chan just throws away his chance! that's terrible!'

daisuke shuts them out until they finally relent and his mother leaves him with a few last words of apology and this.

daisuke, don't blame dark for things you can't control yourself. i don't want to hear anymore about dark. daisuke covered his ears. what you're worried about now is nothing special. although it's a little different from what everyone else is having. don't be afraid. everyone notices their own carvings that they didn't know before. i'm going to go... his mother's voice did not reach daisuke.

emiko reminisces about her own mother telling her that while dark was never caught by the police and was sure that he had stolen a beautiful jewel, it was actually dark himself who had always been caught but never realized it.

several years have passed since then, and the time has come for the girl who wnated to be dark to be glad to be a girl. she meets the young man who will become daisuke's father and falls in love... the jewel in her heart shines like it's on firer. just for one person. you've already found your true treasure, right? aim for it. she imagined her son alone, waiting for the moment to take off into the great sky.

daisuke himself in the meanwhile is going thru it. he considers how his father can't be dark and wouldn't know dark, and likewise would be able to listen to daisuke's woes.

but where are you? when i woke up, my father wasn't home. that doesn't mean there were any problems, and judging from my mother's reactions, it seems like they were still passionately in love with each other. i've heard that he moves around the world for work, but i don't really know what kind of work he does. i can't believe that my father was also a thief...

...this may be the first time i've felt my father's absence so much. my mother and grandfather were enough to care for me, and even more, they always played with me when i got home. hide and seek, tag, and dogeball. survival versions with traps. ah, now that i think about it, i can only think that it was meant to help me escape when i became dark. once, when he was caught in a trap and injured, daisuke asked his grandfather, 'why do i have to do this?' now is not the time. when the young boy complained in tears, his grandfather flatly told him, ' the time will come when you understand.'

baby daisuke calls his grandpa a shitty old man (kuso jiji/くそじじ) which he apparently picked up through imitation from saehara without knowing what it meant, absolutely flooring poor daiki for a second before he decides to give daisuke a hint: 'all of this is to steal the maiden's heart.' dark pops up and he and daisuke bicker a little, which is really more like dark keeps his casual, annoyingly playful attitude while daisuke gives him a cold shoulder.

'i don't know dark. i don't even know what's going to happen to me...' ---isn't it interesting? i'm excited to see what happens. daisuke didn't have anything better to say to dark, who kept his playful tone. 'anyway, dark is special. he can do anything and knows everything.' --- ah, i've been perfect since the moment i existed in this world. but that's also boring... i need to refresh myself by playing with a pretty lady.' 'that's just a hobby, isn't it?' ---'i wouldn't say so. an unapologetic, bright voice. daisuke felt silly worrying about something like this. why did i talk to someone like dark... well, it would have been understood even if we didn't talk. dark, who seems to have fun doing everything and never takes anything seriously. while concentrating on the conversation in his mind, daisuke forgot about the pain in his body and fell asleep. ---do you know what it means to never change? daisuke couldn't hear it. dark's voice was a little serious. big deal... if you really want to win against me, you should change it. our destiny.

emiko and daiki warmly send daisuke off to school with a sports bag containing dark's clothes and some other supplies, daisuke apologizes to them in his mind and swears to himself again that he wouldn't turn into dark, which is a goal he terrifically fails as soon as the day is up thanks to riku. dark heads off to the aqua dome to finally get the heist started. cue the cool heist stuff, which i'm too lazy to transcribe the majority of rn, but trust me it's pretty cool and wiz is once again not getting paid enough for all the shit dark and dai make him do. daisuke refuses to speak throughout about half of the heist until dark cracks a joke about how 'loved' he is, and daisuke finally snaps that it's not the time to be joking and he's worried about getting caught and how he has to go to school tomorrow. (daisuke...) dark grins and brings up that daisuke finally spoke, then he immediately gets waterboarded and sent off to a different area by a flash flood. they're now stuck outside the area of their plans, daisuke starts having another moment of doomspiralling before dark tells him to quit it -

'don't think so darkly. i won't get caught.' ---where does that confidence from from...? 'where is this?' with the thumb of his tight black glove, dark pointed to his chest. 'are you that worried that you're being hijacked?' dark laughed arrogantly. 'there's no way anyone would like something like that.' daisuke felt as if his chest had been sliced open. he should have been able to feel the pain in his body right now. even though it's not there, there's still an unbearable pain. if you like and love something so much that you can't accept the growing feelings, it might be easier if they just disappeared. after all, it was my fate to be swallowed up by dark...

some more running around, risa clings to wiz-dark, saehara's somewhere in here too, you kids are crazy. at some point dark and dai start having this conversation:

inside dark, daisuke was devastated and drenched with worries. i don't want to think about anything anymore. then i'll happily take over your body and your future, just as you wish,' happily spoke a deep voice. 'and the one you like.'

daisuke remembers riku and unconsciously calls out to dark, who tells him 'don't yell. it's too late now. if it's fate, you'll just follow it while crying the whole time.' daisuke hits back with 'you don't know that yet! i'll change it!' to which dark grins and eggs him on a little more with a 'you tell me.'

'keep going like that and get out of here. please, brother. (kyodai/兄弟) ---we're not brothers. however, it wasn't a complete denial. in truth, somewhere deep down he was enjoying stealing beautiful works of art and playing chase with the police. maybe it was just as my grandfather had said, or maybe i was just being dragged along by dark's heart. what daisuke hated was himself. i found myself being dragged along by a situation that was unexpectedly changing at a dizzying pace. daisuke laughed. perhaps only dark can see that expression. because right now, in reality, this body is not my own. this heart is the only thing that keeps it alive. that's why you can't use it unless you feel strong. even if no one can see you, even if no one can hear you, this is proof that you are definitely here. daisuke can't help but recognize dark's true strength. and for the first time, i called out to my other self from the bottom of my heart. ---we're accomplices, right? we're the only companions who share everything, including our bodies and memories. a phantom thief who violates a maiden's heart. however, i don't like how he's always one step ahead of me.

this cuts into daisuke looking through dark's eyes trying to figure out a way to escape from the area they're trapped in, and the hilarious description of 'the artificial beach where dark was picking up girls' being the location right above them. hiwatari shows up and pulls out the cuffs, daisuke can't do anything but watch as he and dark dodge and squabble. hiwtari pulls out the heartwrenching line 'how many sacrifices have been made for your existence!' at dark, and hiwatari's suffering and pain is described as 'something that daisuke also knew well.' even though daisuke in truth had been enjoying himself, he couldn't anymore with hiwatari like this.

but... now, while he's cornering dark, there's hiwatari who feels like he's been cornered himself. i don't want him to look at me like that anymore.

hiwatari slips after cuffing dark and daisuke freaks out for him, 'reaching out for him' despite not being the one in control of the body. satoshi's glasses break but dark catches their owner, while hiwatari himself looks up at dark 'as if he to ask why he helped him.'

'there's someone who wants to help you.'

dark pulls out a flare/lighter of sorts and sets off a fire alarm and lets him escape, he turns back into daisuke who ends up meeting up with riku and risa. daisuke thanks wiz for helping him and being willing to jump into water even though wiz hates water, daisuke goes home clutching the mermaid's tears, a red gem that 'shines like a flame.' hiwatari muses that dark is an opponent you have to be careful with and that if you let your guard down or get impatient even a little bit, he can easily escape. later daisuke heads off to school again and 'mobilizes all the gods and buddhas to pray at the last minute that he would not transform into dark' during the school performance. riku's trembling from stagefright and when the trade glances she says 'it doesn't matter, i don't have many lines,' to which daisuke says 'don't say things like that. everyone has a role to play. besides...' the stage is set, the lights go out, and in the darkness, daisuke holds hands with riku. 'i'm with you.'

sleeping beauty turns out to be a huge success, the kids pour soda water all over each other instead of champagne, and the daisuke from a while ago probably wouldn't have been able to enjoy that sort of nonsense.

'i'm soaking wet, i'm covered in bruises, all sorts of things happened... i don't know what's going to happen to me, but something is starting to move. daisuke thought it might be a good idea to let the wind blow around him, because the future can be repainted freely.'

the LN closes with emiko finding a picture of riku that daisuke can drawn into his sketchbook, the mermaid's tears beside it.

the light reflected by the jewel, which contains intense feelings that cannot be expressed in words, appears to be lighting a red flame on the chest of the girl in the painting. the flame of my heart burns brightly.

[icecoldwilliams]

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 ( 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐋: 𝑫𝑬𝑽𝑰𝑳 𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑨 ) | ✲・*:✲・*:･･

As per the poll over on my hub (months ago, everyone say thanks life!), also bc my girls been through enough let her be unhinged : For more info on this verse, see: 𝟏, 𝟐, 𝟑

❄️ - Goes without saying, Nina wasn't naturally born with the devil gene like Kazuya, Jin, and presumably Kazumi. Her DNA was biologically altered to converge with Ogre's, so technically she contains a mutated and imperfect form of the devil gene. (For new lovelies, this verse is based off the old fandom belief that Ogre was the og origin of the gene & the theory that Heihachi spliced Nina's blood w Ogre's during her cryosleep) Bc of this, and oversight on those responsible for Heihachi's experiments part, her body isn't naturally accustomed to it's effects, let alone built to handle them. It's likely each full on devil episode she has takes a tremendous toll on her body and overall health. To what extent however, remains unknown. Due in part to her own stubborn insistence on hiding and pushing through any pain she goes through to the best of her ability, and also in part to how Nina rarely experiences her devil transformation in it's full capacity (y'know, with the wings and the horns and all that good stuff).

❄️ - Bc I'm a sucker for symbolism, Nina's devil form design contains a few hints towards her connection with Ogre. First and most noticeably the markings on her skin - this was not intended to match Devil Jin's design, but actually Ogre's newer Tekken mobile design ( which... tbh I like better than the jolly green giant I'm sorry not sorry 🙏). Hence why she's more covered in them than Jin. — Her sclera turning black upon transforming is another similarity she shares with Ogre as well, to name a couple.

❄️- Oh you know her devil concerns were a big part of why she agreed to help Jin in T6 in this verse. Not just in regards to her devil, but lowkey also bc... if the experiments done on her in regards to the super soldier project are what resulted in her mutated devil gene... you know who else likely has it 😔 She's full on team this gene needs to be exterminated, no matter what. (Not that that can't change per plot of course)

❄️ - Devil Nina probably has an affinity with snakes, bc of the whole.. snake arm thing Ogre had going on. – Yeah she can't do that. But she probably thinks they're pretty neat.

❄️ - No Nina does not remember what happens when her devil takes over. But she is smart enough to surmise the gist of what occurred and realign the jumbled broken pieces of memory and reality. She's grown accustomed to that over the years unfortunately.

❄️ - Devil Nina on the other hand recalls all. Just as she thrives on the emotions Nina's buried over the years, she thrives off of the buried memories tied to them as well. While Nina still struggles to remember parts of her past, you might find that her devil remembers some missing subconsciously buried pieces down to the finest details. And she'd probably love to chat about them too whenever she's in a good mood. Just makes the emotions keeping her around stronger, right? 🤷‍♀️

❄️ - Finally not official per-say, but a thought I've considered: Devil Nina may have her own version of Nina's evil mist attack, only the secret to hers doesn't lie in dissolvable capsules. Since she consumes souls like Ogre, her digestive system obviously isn't... normal. It could be possible it can somehow convert remnants of the souls she consumes into a poisonous vapor? (Still iffy on the idea, but throwing it out there anyway, let me know what you think?)

[monstrousdesirestudy]

saw your post about wanting to enjoy gideon the ninth and wanted to say -- if you don't mind the narrator doing voices to distinguish the large cast of characters, the audiobook might be the way to go. it's definitely the type of book that's very hit-or-miss for many readers, and it might just not work for you, but as someone who also hates the excessively quippy marvel humor i think a combination of the audio narrator and being in the right mindset let me enjoy the story.

the nature of the audio format means you breeze through a lot of the prose and humor that seems to be pulling you out of the story, and it's easier to focus on enjoying the spooky murder-mystery vibes and trope-y indulgence. also saves you from getting too caught up on understanding everything. getting all the details isn't necessarily all that important the first go around and, as other people said, some things (like the murderer's motivations) can't be fully understood until later books anyway. as long as you remember a couple of major characters and the gist of the fascist regime's operation in the solar system, you can just let it play out.

I’m a difficult person I think because I have a hard time with audiobooks—if I don’t like the voice actor then I can’t stick with it. But I am willing to give it a shot because maybe I won’t mind it and having it read to me will get me out of my own head 🤷🏻

[2500dollarmagikarp]

I looooove your elgyem! I want to adopt a psychic type some day, are there any difficulties with the lil guy/girl?

Well the kinds of difficulty you might face depend on what species and the age. Geiger is pretty young, and a lot of young psychic types are prone to practicing their telekinesis by lifting things up and then dropping them with their power. Not an issue for some items, but when its something glass... more of a problem. They like variety in the kind of objects they practice on, so I've encouraged Geiger to practice with plushes, metal spoons, plastic items, things that are less breakable but still varied.

Bare in mind that anything given to a psychic type to perform telekinesis on is at risk at being broken even if not just from being dropped, so make sure its nothing you're attached too- Geiger ripped one of the plushes I gave him to practice on in half, for example (not one I was attached too, I already was aware of the risk).

Now the likelihood of a psychic type breaking things with their telekinesis goes down the older they get, but in general they need things to stimulate their brain. My hypno, Stupor, likes rubiks cubes, solitaire and similar games, and occasionally plays checkers with me. I'm working on teaching Geiger tic tac toe, which has also been a practice in him using his telekinesis with more precision so as to write a symbol. Stu was older than Geiger is even when I first got him, and Drowzee and Hypno are more capable of using their hands for tasks than Elgyem and Beheeyem, so he utilized telekinesis less from the beginning.

The type of things to give a psychic type depend on the individual and species. Despite what one may think, even the slowpoke line do enjoy mental stimulation like other psychic types do, they're just slow to engage. I haven't had one of my own, but as far as I remember reading, they tend to like 'spot the difference' type games. The abra line tend to like puzzles and chess, things that some other psychic types don't like as much due to some having difficulty maneuvering the small pieces. Less of a mental stimulation and more of a showing of their psychic power, but the gothita line like 'guessing games'; "two boxes one has something one doesnt, which one has the thing?" type of deal. Spoink and Grumpig like shape puzzles.

And while I talk mostly of telekinesis here as most psychic types have it, its not the primary ability to keep in mind for many of them. Drowzee and Hypno might practice their hypnosis on other pokemon on your team, or even you, and might need to be taught when it is or isn't okay to do so (lest you miss work or school or something because your pokemon made you fall asleep), the ralts and hatenna line are mind readers and can detect emotion and will become easily overwhelmed in crowded places or minorly stressful situations; ralts become better at controlling their abilities and tuning out emotions and thoughts they don't want to be reading, but hatenna doesn't develop nearly as much control over their abilities, just control in how they react, but will still end up lashing out if put in those situations too often without a break to calm down.

Sorry this is kind of rambley and not well organized haha. if there's a specific psychic type you're considering, or a couple specific ones, I could maybe give you a better gist of the basics tho remember, you should look into the details of a pokemon's needs yourself before getting one! I can retell what I've learned working at the Pokemon center and just generally read about, but the only Pokemon I've ever owned are the ones I have right now, so I'm not a perfect beacon of knowledge on the care of every Pokemon and how it is to raise one.

[lichtecht]

@is-this-taken-too-questionmark this is specifically for you but also for anyone else who wants to know more about the backstory behind this drawing of mine

for context, this is all big elaborate headcanons about the situation of dwh mit 30. that’s a new movie project that cornelia funke is working on, and it’s about the lives of the wilden hühner at 30 years old. cf has said that fred and sprotte won’t be together anymore because sprotte moved to new zealand and fred stayed in germany. she’s also said that fred is now dating frieda.

i won’t go into the details of why that sounds a little weird, it’s because frieda is sprottes best friend and your first big love dating your best friend?? who you were previously jealous of because you were afraid that there could be something between those two? and then it happens?? weird! also complicated.

i for one can only see all three of them together. my headcanons are hugely influenced by this post by @all-chickens-are-trans and this one by @chucklepea-hotpot.

basically, sprotte is what connects fred and frieda, and the headcanon is that they bonded over missing sprotte after she leaves and they grow really close. i can personally only see fred and frieda as a platonic duo, but a damn close one, so they might just get assumed for a couple a lot of the time, eventhough they’re not dating.

and then there’s my headcanon of punk frieda, best explained in this post i think (though i’m afraid it’s in german :( ). punk fred originated from this post by @all-chickens-are-trans. the gist of it is that fred becomes more politically active through frieda with her activism meetings and demonstrations, and he becomes a punk. and frieda becomes a punk too. and they’re kind of matching now. and they share part of their wardrobe. doesn’t help with being mistaken for a couple, but who gives a shit about societal expectations of relationships, right.

the thing about frieda and fred bedazzling their battlejackets together is from this post. trude is also there. :) i also drew something about it here.

yeah and i think that’s it! :)

[daeificatio]

echo

tw: dissociation

It was almost like a bad dream. 

Not that things had ever been easy for them ever since they set sail towards this land, but it was manageable. Some of the townspeople weren’t exactly welcoming, but they were just figuring out how to deal with them and how to survive in this little coastal town. Perhaps just a little more and they would’ve gotten the gist of it- but it was as if this world were against their very presence.

The town was attacked by an army during nightfall. Spawns of the mission they came to deal with- men clad in dark armor destroying houses and tearing children away from their parents’ arms. The town was engulfed in fire and chaos- and Byleth couldn’t move.

He watched. Watched as most of his companions rushed in to try to fight back and protect the homes while others decided to hide and protect themselves, but Byleth did neither. Byleth stood there, among ash and torn families, his body barely allowing him to take a couple of steps. The best he could do was reach a nearby house and stand by it in an attempt to guard it- but it was useless as the army was still too far from where he stood.

Why? Why won’t his body move? Why does it feel so heavy and sluggish?

And the worst part- why doesn’t it disturb him?

It wasn’t that he was pleased or indifferent to the situation. He knew it was horrible and that it needed to be dealt with urgently, but somehow further emotions just didn’t take over his mind and body. With no heart to beat in his chest, Byleth didn’t know anxiety. 

As he stood by the house’s door, unarmed and almost paralyzed, he tried reasoning with himself and Sothis on what was going wrong- but the girl didn’t reply to his call. He couldn’t envision her figure in his mind that well, nor hear her voice. She was still there, that much he could feel, but she wasn’t quite there, with him. There was only a single sensation he could tell from her now diminute presence in his mind.

A haunting familiarity. 

The sensation that this has happened before- perhaps not before his eyes, but her own. The details however were far too scrambled and vague for Byleth to comprehend- all he knew was that the sight of houses consumed by flames, slain families and children being taken away haunted Sothis in some way, and well, him as well.

He felt useless as he watched his companions fight, but at the same time his mind felt as if it were stuck in some thick mud. His breathing was labored for no reason, his body frozen in place, his hands clammy under his gloves and the silence in his mind, both from himself and Sothis, almost disorienting him. And it continued that way until everything became extremely fast paced.

The sight of familiar silhouettes- his companions running into the forest to escape, but not all of them. Looking back only to see the unconscious figures of their now lost friends being taken away, angered and grieving townspeople chasing them out with pitchforks and fire.

There was no thunder in his chest, no eruption of fear or rage, no shiver of fear. Nothing. Byleth wasn’t even tired once they slowed down and made plans to try to rescue their missing teammates. Much like how his entire life was spent, Byleth felt disconnected from everything going on around him and he didn’t know how to get back to it- he could only act normal, and shift his focus to the matter at hand even though his heart, or whatever he had in the cavity of his chest, was somewhere else alongside his mind.

Sothis did return after a while, though.

And when she did, came the realization- that now, he truly felt like some feared, hated creature.

[melonnade]

OC-TOBER #1 - fave oc

Gosh, I could talk for so long about this haha. I think I’m going to try to dump some lore with every OC-tober post, since I don’t think I talk about them very often.

Currently, like right now, I’d say my favorite OC is probably Xiang Wanyi? I feel like after reading all the mxtx books and Clear and Muddy Loss of Love, I’ve really been on a xianxia/wuxia kick lately and this choice reflects that. For a long time, my favorite was Haneul and it’ll probably go back to being Haneul in a couple months since my taste in OCs always seems to come back to morally-ambiguous women, but XWY has just been so fun to think about. I’ll throw in a quick sketch and then add more info under the cut!

The whole OC creation journey for XWY has been really fun for me because the entire thought process has been like, “haha, wouldn’t it be fucked up if [x] happened?” And then I just kept adding stuff. I think making OCs is a lot funner when you just let yourself be cringe—this guy has probably the most tragic backstory of all my OCs.

The base concept of XWY is that he’s not the real XWY—he’s an orphan kid who accidentally murdered a man who was unfortunately very important. Luckily for him, the guy has no close relations and will not be missed. Unluckily for him, if anyone finds out that the guy is dead, he will undoubtedly be tracked down and executed. So the solution is to impersonate him!

This was kind of supposed to be a comedy at first, where XWY runs into people who should’ve been familiar with the real XWY, and has to improv to try to stay in character. But over time, he’s gotten so used to pretending to be someone else that he feels more like XWY than who he used to be.

Before the main storyline even starts, XWY gets a found family, loses them, and is betrayed by a parental figure. And yet despite this, out of my ‘main’ OCs, he has the most positive outlook on life. To him, if you have the opportunity to help someone, it is always worthwhile to do it, no matter who it is. Futile or not, fleeting or not, those brief moments of happiness matter. He doesn’t hold grudges—you only have one life, after all, so why spend it remembering things like that? It’s because his backstory is so tragic that he’s able to smile so freely. He’s living on borrowed time and it’s only luck keeping him from being discovered, so he wants to live his life the best he can before it all comes to a close. I think this makes him super fun for me because that’s not a mentality I tend to explore a lot with my OCs. A lot of them are more practical and realistic. Haneul, for example, has probably the most similar upbringing, but she has a really nihilistic, self-destructive outlook. He’s like a fresh breath of air, and he’s got probably the most interesting relationships out of all the other OCs I’ve made for this particular universe.

I might end up going into greater detail about his backstory and how exactly he ended up in this position in the future, but that’s the gist of him for now. I think the crux of the favoritism just comes from how it’s really enjoyable to allow yourself to just do whatever! He’s the result of that, and also his design is just really fun to draw.

[house-of-secrets]

Yikes! It's been a hot sec since I wrote or posted anything here or on AO3 (etc). Sorry to go radio silent on you all. I've been kinda lurking on and off but things have just been a bit too much for me to participate in this lovely community. I love you all though and want to let you all know that I am starting to find my way back to you 🌺💙.

(More under the cut, but that's the gist of it 🥰 ^)

I won't go into too much detail, but I've been going through some pretty serious personal issues since October. Things reached a horrible boiling point and bubbled over about a month ago resulting in me quitting my job. As I'm sure you've seen across social media (my American mutuals) the American Education System is in serious crisis and unfortunately my specific work environment was so toxic that I had to quit doing what I loved, teaching 😞.

Of course there were other factors too, family drama and a new mental health diagnosis. Apparently going from feeling like you can barely move to wanting to fight God isn't normal 😂? So now I have a brand new and shiny diagnosis of bipolar disorder! That paired with my PTSD has made life a bit of a struggle for me these last couple months.

I am so thankful for the wonders of modern medicine. I seem to have finally found a mood stabilizer that works! So life should hopefully be getting back to a relative state of calm.

All of this is to say: You all should be "seeing" more of me as I return to the fandom space. I have missed you all and I look forward to geeking out with you all over our favorite show together again!

If you have read this far I am so grateful and hope that you all have an amazing day. Sending you peace and positive vibes - xo Evie 🌺

[rakka-kasahara]

2024-10-19

Dream:

Had a couple. There are some details I am sure I am missing, but I remember the gist of it. In the first one, I am in college but am moving rooms. These rooms are more like apartments than the cramped closets you would expect. So, I am in my new room when some big ol' dude just saunters in. I tell him to leave, and he isn't really listening to me. So, I get my Taurus Judge revolver, but he still isn't intimidated. So, I load four of the five chambers with shot shells and shoot him. He is built like a tank, and it doesn't really phase him. I reload with some .45 caliber bullets. I don't remember if I shot him again. My boss from when I was an RA in the dorms appear, and I start blaming her for this. Then, I wake up.

The second dream is a little disjointed. I think I was taking an ASMR class at college, and we had a few assignments, one of which I think was an imouto ASMR? I am in some meeting room at first reading through the assignment, but I transition to my office cubicle to start. I am looking for art or ideas online, but I keep getting a lot of questionable anime girl pictures no matter what I search. I start getting worried that someone might see, so I push my monitors together. Eventually, I am back at my parent's house with one of my brothers, and I am still trying to find assets for the assignment. Things are a little unclear after this, but I think I went outside to hang my stockings to dry on a plastic bench, for some reason. My alarm went off at this point, and my 15 year old alarm clock was acting up and went off again after I turned it off. As such, I was a little fuzzled and forgot some stuff.

Analysis:

For the first one, I was an RA in the dorms for three years. Graduated debt free because of it. However, the last year was pretty bad due to poor leadership that refused to punish students for misbehaving, and I ended up having to move rooms due to harassment. I own a Judge revolver, so that is why that appeared.

For the second one, well, I am addicted to ASMR. I really want to start my own ASMR channel, but I think my voice is a little gross, so I have been working on that. Want to do roleplays, though probably not imouto stuff unless I tag it as F4F since some people make gross imouto stuff for dudes. Might just not call it "imouto" and call it "little sister" or "sister" instead to avoid any gross connotations.

[winter-spark]

Me w/ Orange & Navel:

(So that poll I did, ⅔ of you who voted were uninterested in seeing my Sims designs for them & like I was struggling w/ their outfits anyway & I flipped 3 coins to decide if I should post them anyway & that went like:

>Should I post my Orange & Navel Sim designs? •No >Like ever? •Yes >For clarification, should I post them later(rather than today)? •No

So. I guess I won't be posting them but let me share the important details of their designs. And then if you like them maybe you can draw them yourself. (If you do feel free to at me or send it to me or whatever, I will reblog.)

For starters, I thought it'd be neat if the Princes were a gradient so From Citron to Tangerine they get more blonde. (So they're not as blond as Tangerine but more blond than Citron, & Navel is more blond than Orange.) I do also imagine their hair a bit on the longish side like Citron & Tangerine, possibly longer but *shrugs*.

Orange:

(Again I was more confident for black!Orange's hair than notblack!Orange but I'm gonna do my best to get the gist down.) I think Orange has a very pulled-back hairstyle, like one where his hair is generally out of his way. While playing around with hairstyles I did sorta prefer the bang ponytails to the non-bangs ponytail but they didn't swoop the right way & because this was the Sims 4 I didn't have the flip bangs option(how I miss that option). (But it's not mandatory for him to have bangs because when I started thinking about him as black it was never a thing, the hair being out of the way thing tho yes, which is what affected my current mental concept for him) So anyway yea, hair pulled back, completely out of the way, probably low hanging or just directly back.

Then we have his face... I had drawn him before attempting shape language but like that's different from the style of the game so I'm gonna ignore some stuff... erm. Oh! He has glasses, at least I'm pretty convinced of him having glasses (but I do forget sometimes lol) they're boxy/rectangle or something. Then I did come up w/ moles for him if he had them and thats one at the inner end of his right(our left) eyebrow & one on his left(our right) cheek.

Then a note I have down for him as a possible hobby(I was trying a character design thing) is accessorizing. And like there was this one hairstyle I gave him at least for formal wear in the Sims because (w/out remembering my not) I thought the bun/beehive type thing a jeweled up felt like something I can see for him. I mean he's royalty and kinda... ya know? I think accessorizing fits him. So in that I think a couple of necklaces are good at least that's how I drew him, I also like to believe he has a long/dangle earring. I can't decide if it gets added after he starts studying abroad or if it's always been there but it's either an owl or a cherry blossom. Owl because I know in my soul he's a fan of owls, cherry blossom because he's wanted to see them and they're pretty and yea words. (tho looking back at my notes/explanations seems I was leaning more towards the owl, thus probably the idea that he'd always had it,) Only problem is should it become stud earrings or at least be a pair, in my initial design he didn't have his hair pulled back so his hair covered one of his ears, and the other ear had this dangle earring but would it look weird if it's just one ear? I don't know.

I think that's eveything besides clothes. I have thoughts. I'm not sharing them.

Navel:

Navel has a high ponytail (black or not lol), held up by a (probably gold colored but maybe silver) ponytail cuff with a star/star design on it. Bangs? Yes, definitely but they swoop to either side and don't cover his eyebrows... Well I mean I guess they could get close but it's debatable. He has glasses that lean on the more round side and a gap between his front teeth. Also he wears a choker that likely has a silver(maybe gold) little circle tag thing on the front.

At least that's how I see him. And I won't say much about his clothes, but I'd really like if he had a collar like almost like a popped collar but not, it just stands up like making a cylinder ya know? Idk if that makes sense but yea. Those are the important details I suppose.

I know that was a lot more solid thus a lot less worlds than Orange's category but like I do actually like my initial design for him more than my Orange design. Not that I dislike dislike my Orange design just it doesn't stick with my brain when I try to picture him, so it's definitely off in some regard.

(Note: I didn't delete my inital designs & outfit "moodboards" for them so if you wanted to see those designs feel free to check my blog. Check the tag "Character Design" or "not my characters". I have them posted twice because I did mean to delete the first time I posted them but like I forgot/am lazy. Also the posts themselves are riddled with the fact that I'm lazy, and I don't feel like editing them so they're just gonna have to be like that. Hence why I'm not linking them, I have no problem with you going to look at them but I'm not like proud of how I did the reposts of them so I'm not gonna link them.)

Anyway thanks for reading to the end lol, I appreciate you.

[chemdisaster]

No way. 

No. Fucking. Way. 

In what could only be described as complete and utter shock, you stare at the screen of your laptop, a single Discord message staring back at you. "Would you like to join Hermitcraft Season 10?" it reads, followed by a couple of details and an apology for it coming on such late notice—5 minutes before everyone's supposed to start recording, to be precise. 

You don't question how Xisumavoid got ahold of your Discord handle. How he even became aware of your existence in the first place. 

Still numb with shock, you look over at your mouse, wire taped together where your cat decided to chew on it. At your shitty keyboard with the Sprite stains and your old laptop that's definitely seen better days.

All at once, it hits you. 

You're not a YouTuber—you're not even that good at playing Minecraft, for god's sake. You don't even have a screen. You don't know how to build, or improv, or record or edit videos, or stream, or the millions of other things you'll surely be asked to do. 

At least your setup is probably still somehow better than Ethoslab's. You'll take what comfort you can get. 

Still, point is—you don't know how to do anything, and now you're being asked to join what is maybe one of the most popular Minecraft SMPs, one you've absolutely adored for years of your life. 

It sounds like a dream come true. 

It feels a bit like a death sentence. 

Sighing, you run your hands down your face. You'll have to make a decision, you know, and you'll have to make it in—you look at the top right corner of your screen—1 minute, you've wasted 4 precious minutes of your time wallowing in your panic. And now you have to give a reply and fast, or else you'll keep everyone waiting and—

You pause. You think of all the build-up to this season. You think of the hermits having to announce that oh, you thought there was going to be two new hermits? Well sike, one of them turned out to be too much of a little bitch to join. You think of the disappointment, the backlash they'll surely face. 

You download all the required mods and texture packs. 

You copy the server IP. 

You paste it into the box. 

You click "Join Server".

All at once, your headphones erupt in a cacophony of noise. Everyone's already there, it seems, and they're all very excited to see you. You don't know how any of these people know who you are, but their voices overlay each other as they greet you, and you let yourself get caught up in it all. 

It's nice. Beyond the near-paralysing panic, you have to admit that it feels a bit like coming home. 

You look over to your side and almost have your second anxiety attack of the day. Skizzleman is standing right there—and oh, your friends are gonna go insane—you're going insane—

You unmute yourself and manage to squeak out a hello. It's enough, and you find yourself almost blending in as all the other hermits make the necessary introductions. It feels natural. It feels like you. 

You miss a few important details, to be sure, but you get the gist of it as everyone begins to disperse to punch wood. This is real. This is real. You're actually here, you're on Hermitcraft—

"Hey," Skizzleman's voice appears behind you. You scramble to turn around. "We can do this, yeah?" he says. "You're new, I'm new—now I don't know about you, but I'm here to have fun."

It takes you a second to remember that you're supposed to reply. 

"Yeah, I—yeah."

It's still the squeaky voice from before. Fingers still trembling too much to press the keys, you mute yourself and take a deep breath.

This has to be the scariest day of your life. 

You can do this.

self insert fanfiction/stress nightmare of y/n being asked to join hermitcraft season 10 last minute . you dont know how to build. or improv. or record or edit videos. or stream. and right by your side is skizzleman,