#it might take me a while to get to these but i'm gonna try my best so. ty <3< /div>
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
undeadentropy · 3 days ago
Text
Okay sure, I'll challenge myself with this. I've never gone in knowing the ending. But from a purely mechanical point, disco elysium was a huge collaborative effort, and the whole story is there before you, long before you know your place in it. I have no delusions of being able to match that level of detail and quality, but I can still have fun and try and get close. Or at least match vibes.
Also gotta create at least 25 protagonist voices so thats gonna be interesting. Not spoiling anything, but this adventure is gonna be magic based obviously, much more than Elysium. She lives in her cozy village, and it IS cozy. But there's still a reason her witch career left her like this. There's a reason to look for her neighbors cat. Everything has a reason and a consequence. Cozy needs to be fought for.
I'll brainstorm this and drop an @ when it's finished. It might take a while. I can't promise my normal quality in this, since it's outside my normal expertise, but it should be fun. I'm much less familiar with fanfics, even if it's au. But it's a chance to grow as a writer.
I gotta find that thing that let's me pull up dialogue to prevent personality and story drift too much. I want it to be a mirror to Elysium. It has fo be for the point to land.
Not sure how the politics will translate. Not much room for politics in cozy. But there are many divisions in our world, and all group interactions are politics. I think the key is that she isnt a detective cop. She's a witch. Who knows what kind of magical and mundane shIt she has to deal with? And I'm sorry but small villages absolutely have shit going on beneath the surface. I'll definitely come up with something.
It won't be Earth though. Like disco elysium, it will be set in its own universe similar to our own, but with its own history. You can't do disco elysium correctly if the audience knows anything going in. You must pass through the waters of Elysium with her for the story to work.
God I hope my schedule slows down so I can try and do this. I hope brain doesn't lose the spark too. Haven't written a word in over a year and I miss it. Maybe this will get me back into the swing of things.
Tumblr media
20K notes · View notes
pboogerswbb · 14 hours ago
Text
SO IT GOES - chapter 6
Tumblr media
Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual content and language, being sick? overthinking? p being melodramatic Wordcount: 4.4K A/C: was feeling inspired :)) anyway pls be patient with me posting, i'm applying to schools rn!! anyway this went a direction i hadn't planned but... uhh... i have no excuses i was going with the flow. anyway enjoy x (also what a scare yesterday just hoping p is doing fine and i'm sure everything's okay!)
-
Before London
You need a ride to work tmr?
I don’t but thank you x
My eyes roam the texts as they had repeatedly since last night, trying to decipher each letter as if some ancient code I couldn’t understand. Is she seriously gonna be like that? Like she wasn’t the one who pulled me in. She kissed me. Why was she taking it out on me now? I don’t got time for this anyway, to be stressing about something like this. 
I hadn’t seen Izara since Saturday, not at work, not in the apartment building, hell, I’d even gone to the gym every morning praying that she might show up but it was as if the girl had disappeared from the face of the earth. I knew she was avoiding me, and I guess she had reason but fuck, I thought she’d be better than that. Not a word since Saturday, other than those strange cryptic texts. Fine. Be that way.
“My favourite girls!!” Trey’s voice blatantly interjects my spinning thoughts as me, Arike, Satou and Lou are sat at a circular table, eating lunch. Not that I had been eating per say, more so poking my fork here and there trying to stomach a piece of chicken now and then. The heaviness in the pit of my stomach made it hard to eat at all.
I lift my eyes, hoping Izara would be trailing behind the man as usual. But it’s Ava instead, holding a notepad and taking quick steps to keep up. I mean I knew it wasn’t Iz before even looking up - there was an uncomfortable void of heels tapping against the hardwood as the pair approach us eagerly.
“Oh hey!” Lou smiles from her chair next to me. “What’s up?”
“So we were thinking,” Trey starts, leaning forward against the table. “If y’all could film some clips answering comments on your own since our dear Zari isn’t here.”
“Uh, where is she anyway?” I ask as casually as I can - though the way everyone’s heads snap to me tells me it was a feeble attempt.
Trey’s dark brown eyes study me for a while with an expression I can’t quite read before answering. “She’s home sick, poor girl.”
Bullshit. She’s trying to avoid me, I know it. I can’t believe it, I thought she would be more mature than this, than faking being “sick” just to get away from an awkward conversation with me. Why was she assuming how I felt anyway? Like the kiss mattered to me? Like I’d want more?
I mean all that was true. God did it matter and God did I want, no, need more. Much more. But she didn’t know that, so why was she assuming. I thought we were friends. You know what this is? Bad friendship.
“Oh damn, hope she feels better,” Arike answers for me, noticing the way I’m gone in my thoughts.
“Y-yeah for sure,” I mumble, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I’mma go to the weight room.”
I place the fork down on my half eaten plate harshly, getting up abruptly making my irritation quite clear to everyone around me.
“Paige you gotta eat a little more,” Lou encourages but I shake my head.
“Nah, m’ not hungry,” I murmur and take my plate back, preparing to take out my aggravation at some weights, ignoring the way Arike and the rest of the girls eye me as I walk away.
-
“So how are we feeling about the first game soon?” My dad’s voice echoes through the speaker but I barely hear him, pacing my apartment’s living room. Truthfully I hadn’t thought much about the upcoming game. I knew that was bad. That I should be ecstatic, or scared as hell, but I didn’t feel anything else besides the dread of what happened between me and Iz. 
Matter of fact, I hadn’t been able to think of anything else but the way she looked all night, the way her green smoked out eyes twinkled at me, the way she threw her head back when she laughed at my jokes, when she pressed her front against me. The way her full breasts felt against my chest, the way her round ass felt under my hands. God, the whimper she let out when I squeezed it as gently as I could.
“Paige?”
“Uh what?” I mumble, ears burning, completely forgotten about the call with my dad.
“What’s going on with you?” His secure, steady voice asks, grounding me.
“Nothin’ dad,” I murmur, rubbing my eyes and looking out the window into the street, eyeing every dark haired woman just in case they were Izara.
“Paige Madison.”
I groan. I might be 23-years-old but my dad’s stern voice turns me into a teenager without fail each time.
“You’re comin’ to the first game still, right?”
“Yes, of course,” he says, like it’s obvious. “Why?”
“Nothin’, just miss you,” I mumble, coming up with an excuse for my low mood - though it wasn’t far off. Everytime I felt sad or anxious I just wanted my dad.
“I miss you too, kid. You know you just say the word and I’m there, okay?”
“No I know, I know. I’m just tired I think,” I sigh, my chest warming at my dad’s comforting words.
“Uh oh,” he starts. “Paige Madison… Don’t tell me.”
“Huh? Tell you what?”
“Is this about a girl?” He asks.
I pause, coming to a halt with my pacing. “Hu- I- What?!”
“You always say “I’m just tired” when you got a girl on your mind,” my dad laughs, doing a horrible impression of me.
“No!” I argue a little too fast and a little too passionately. “I mean, no. Just tired. Long practice.”
“Mhm alright,” my dad mumbles, an amused tone in his voice that irritates me in a way only a parent could. “So no girl?”
“No dadddd,” I whine like a teenage girl. “There’s no girl.”
I didn’t like lying to him. I wanted to tell him all about Izara. I knew my dad would adore that girl. He always said I needed a woman to keep me in check - Izzie did just that. But I also didn’t want to tell my dad about this girl knowing it likely wasn’t going to go anywhere, especially now that she had been hiding from me since our kiss.
“Okay dad tell Drew I said hi and I’ll play Fortnite with him tomorrow,” I say into the phone, ready to hang up.
“Okay kid, love you.”
“Love you dad.”
The silence is deafening, again. Like it used to be before I became friends with Iz. I felt alone, anxious, my head spinning with thoughts I couldn’t turn off. I thought she was mature enough to handle this like two adults. If she just wanted to be friends then she could just tell me, at least we could continue our friendship like that.
But usually when I kissed a girl, they didn’t run away like this. Quite the opposite. Did she not like the way I kissed? Was I off my game? Maybe the tongue was too much? Maybe she didn’t like my outfit. I’m a good kisser, I know I am. Good enough to get girls into bed with ease. So what is the trouble now? And I also know that that was the best kiss I had ever had. That our lips fit together just right. Fuck this girl had me going out of my mind. And now I just had to wait for her to reach out, it didn’t feel fair.
No. It wasn’t fair. Why did I have to wait for her? Who said I had to? Fuck that.
Too frenzied to even throw a shirt over my sports bra, I walk downstairs determined, knocking on Izara’s door angrily, preparing a speech of everything I’d been thinking the past few days: Look, Izzie, we’re both adults. You clearly think the kiss was a mistake. But avoiding me and acting like this is ridiculous and stupid and we don’t need to be acting like teenage-
“Paige?” 
Izzie opens the door, voice weak and nasally. She’s in a pale pink pyjama set, hair up in a clip and nose red and irritated. She wasn’t lying. Definitely not. She is sick. 
Quick, improvise.
“Uh, hey,” I mumble, my cheeks turning pink, her red eyes staring up at me reminiscent of Saturday night and the moments before our kiss on the balcony. “Trey told me you were sick.”
She chuckles, looking down at her dishevelled appearance and returns her gaze to me. “How did you know,” she jokes. She’s acting like nothing happened between us. How could she act like that? I guess it’s better than if she actually had been avoiding me.
“Was worried, haven’t seen you since… The party,” I say unsurely.
“Uh… Yeah. Crazy party huh,” Izzie says almost to herself. “Well, anyway, thanks for checking in but I’m perfectly okay. Just a cold and I think it’s passing.”
She begins to close the door but I grab it, holding it open.
“You been resting?” I ask concerned.
The girl shrugs. “Well at first but now I’m just getting bored so I’ve been doing some work from home.”
“Izzie…”
“What?”
“You gotta be restin’ if you’re sick,” I argue, which makes the girl roll her eyes.
“I’m fine Paige,” she answers, but I step inside.
“Let me in.”
“No, you’ll get sick,” she complains but I shake my head.
“I won’t. I’m built different.”
Izzie laughs, deciding it was pointless to try to argue and lets me in.
Her apartment is spotless as always, laptop open on her dining table with schedules and notebooks piled next to it. This bitch hadn’t been resting, no she’s been working and cleaning.
“Izzie!” I groan and close the laptop.
“Shoes! Shoes shoes shoes!” She yelps, voice breaking as she does. 
“‘M sorry!” I gasp and take my sneakers off quickly, placing them neatly by the entrance. I feel her eyes fixed on me. 
“Do you ever wear a shirt?” She asks, blowing her stuffy nose, which makes me let out a single laugh.
“Why, you want me to?” I ask confidently, easily falling into the same effortlessness as before.
My words make the girl blush. Perhaps the kiss wasn’t that bad? Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe I should just ask… Ask what?! If the kiss was good?! Bro… Get a grip.
“Well you’re going to get cold, it’s freezing here,” she tells me, turning away and walking to the couch where pillows are neatly arranged, an expensive looking blanket neatly folded on the armrest. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it definitely was not cold, that her apartment was scorching hot already making me sweat.
“Yo, you’re kidding right?” I laugh as I watch her somewhat pitifully curling up against the corner of the couch on her single throw pillow.
“What?”
“Iz, you’re sick!”
“Wow, thanks for rubbing it in my face,” she says nasally, blowing her nose again.
“Bro, that pillow is just sad! You need a nest,” I gasp, walking to her bedroom.
“Wait wait wait, it’s a mess in there,” she yelps, following after me. Mess, it is not. There is one hoodie on the bed, which is unmade. That’s it. I pull the heavy blanket off her bed, grabbing all four pillows and walking decisively to the couch with the dark-haired girl on my tail.
“What are you doing?” She asks as I begin to set up each pillow into a nest against the corner of the couch. She’s grabbing my arm and peeking at my actions from behind my back, clearly confused.
“I’m makin’ you a nest,” I explain, brows furrowing as I focus. This is serious business. “My stepmom does this when we’re sick.”
“A nest?” Izzie laughs.
“Yeah, get in,” I order, grabbing the girl’s shoulders and sitting her down. “Now lie back. Get comfy.”
Hesitating for a moment, Izzie curls up against the pillows as I place the blanket over her, watching as she gets comfortable with a smile on her face.
“There you go,” I coo, trying her forehead which is burning hot. “You have a fever Iz, I’m gonna get you some meds.”
“Paige, you don’t have to do this,” she sighs, looking up at me softly. I want to lean down and kiss her again. Instead, I bring my hand to her warm cheek, stroking it softly. She looks vulnerable, gentle for once. It made me want her even more.
“Lemme take care of you ma.”
She doesn’t comment on the nickname, matter of fact there’s a hint of a smile on her face when she nods. 
“The cabinet above the microwave.”
“Got it,” I tell her, pretty much scurrying to the kitchen, gathering everything you could think - water, painkillers, nose spray, I even cut up some fruit for her. But when I return the poor girl is in her nest, cuddled up, fast asleep. It hurts my heart to wake her up, but she needs these meds in her.
“Iz,” I murmur carefully, brushing dark locks away from her face. She blinks herself awake, rubbing her face. Everything about it makes me want to wrap her in my arms and never let anyone close in case they hurt her. 
“Fuck, I fell asleep,” she yawns. “I’m sorry I’m a mess.”
“You’re sick ma,” I remind her, sitting next to the girl on the couch and watching as she takes her medicine.
“This is so embarrassing,” she murmurs, sipping on the glass of water. Her cheeks are bright red, hair undone and eyes tired - I swear it’s the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her look.
“Izara,” I say sternly. “You’re sick, lemme help.”
“You’re gonna get sick too, and you have your first game soon love.”
“I’ll be fine, I got mad immune system powers.”
She giggles. “Immune system powers?”
“You heard,” I nod, fighting a grin. She coughs a little.
“Paige?”
Oh God. She’s gonna bring up the kiss now. I know it. I can feel it.
“Y-yeah?”
She takes a deep breath. “Can we watch Lady and The Tramp?”
-
“How are you already crying?” Paige asks with a giggle, leaning against the opposite corner of the couch. 
“Lady as a puppy always makes me cry! How could it not?” I sniffle, wiping my nose, watching the scene where Lady doesn’t want to sleep in her dog bed, the poor puppy crying for her dad. 
The blonde is chewing on an apple in her sports bra and black Nike sweats, muscles grown more prominent over her training period with the Wings, arms bigger, shoulders wider, outline of the muscles on her abdomen faintly visible even as she slouches. 
“What kinda names are Darling and Jimmy Dear anyway?” She asks, dramatically frustrated.
“Paige, you’re slow,” I laugh. “Lady thinks those are their names because they call each other those as like, pet names darling.”
The blond thinks for a while, and then grins. “Oh.”
We both burst into a choir of laughter, though it feels rough against my scratchy throat. Still, I could feel the medication already making me feel better. Or maybe it was the company.
My mind had been a mess after I escaped the party. I felt embarrassed, childish even for running away like I did, leaving Paige high and dry. Once I woke up the next morning it was hard to figure out what truly happened and what was my mind playing tricks on me. But I knew the kiss really took place the moment I remembered it, the weight of Paige’s kiss a mere memory on my lips. One wouldn’t forget a kiss like that. It was impossible.
Getting sick had been a lucky coincidence, giving me time to think and take some distance from the situation. I found it impossible to figure out where my desire for Paige and desire for physical contact differed. I couldn’t tell if I was just lonely. Or if I really liked her. I never considered it, me having feelings (if you could call it that) for a girl again. But now as she sat there, looking like that, I wanted nothing but to get on her. To climb onto her lap and kiss her again like we had on the balcony. Without the drunken hue, just us feeling each other.
Even as sick as I am, the familiar burn and ache that always showed up around the blonde begins to grow between my legs, making me squirm. Fuck, maybe I did like her. All I knew I definitely wasn’t in a place to start anything - that no matter what this was it would have to stay casual. I haven’t gotten rid of the ghost of my past relationship. No, not at all. I could see it looming around every corner, peeking through windows, just right outside my line of vision. I wasn’t ready.
Paige’s hand comes over to my bare feet poking out of the blanket, bringing them to her lap and beginning to rub them almost as if subconsciously, like unaware of the entire thing. Except her cheeks turn red as she does. My entire body relaxes, and I let her. For almost half of the movie she massages each toe, the arch of my foot, my ankle, leaving goosebumps everywhere. 
“I’m cold,” I complain, pulling my feet back under the blanket, feeling like a block of ice.
“I’m so hot,” Paige groans, now more invested in the movie, making small comments here and there.
“Lucky,” I groan which makes her snicker.
“Scooch,” The blonde tells me. Before I can resist she’s made her way under the blanket, into the nest, lying behind me and wrapping an arm around my waist. I fit in her arms perfectly, like I was made to be her counterpart, born to be in her arms like this, every curve of her body slotting with mine just right. My ass pressing into her, the blonde’s chin brushing against my shoulder, hot breath tickling against my ear nearly making me moan. Fuck.
“I- I thought you were hot,” I mumble, beginning to lose my composure.
“But you’re cold,” she murmurs into my ear, nose nuzzling into my hair as we keep watching the movie. Though I can’t concentrate. Even on my favourite movie. My head spinning too fast, speeding up even more when my pyjama top hikes up and Paige’s fingertips rub circles against my lower stomach, dangerously close to dipping into my pyjama pants.
“P-paige,” I almost whisper, my voice coming out breathy.
“Mhm?” The blonde’s voice is shaky too, a hoarse hum straight into my ear making me even wetter than I already am.
“You’re gonna get sick,” I remind her, my chest heaving.
“I’m good,” she breathes out, shifting a little, her head fitting just in the crook of my neck. Perfectly. “Are you?”
She’s asking for consent, I can tell. To dip her fingers underneath the band, to slide them into my panties. And God I want to give it to her. To let her have her way with me. The temptation is growing nearly impossible to resist.
“I-” I nearly say it. But then I shift to my back, to meet her gaze. Paige’s face is flushed, nostrils flaring as she breathes, hand remaining on my bare stomach. “How are you feeling about the game?”
“Oh, uhh,” Paige is taken aback, pulling her hand back to my dismay, bringing it to her jaw and rubbing it. “I mean, I haven’t really thought about it if I’m honest? I’m excited to see my dad and Dorka.”
“She went to Uconn with you, right?”
The blonde nods. “I mean issa big moment for sure, but I just wanna take it one day at a time.”
I hesitate. “Are you not nervous at all?”
She lets out a single laugh and looks around the room. “Nah I am. Just tryna keep my mind off it.”
I nod, understanding. I wish I could carry some of her worry, I could tell she was more nervous than she let on. But instead of talking I slide my hand into hers, which seems to comfort the girl more than words, her blue eyes locking with mine. She’s thinking, mulling something over in her head. I can tell.
“The party… Iz, I-”
“Shh,” I tell her before she can keep going, my throat going dry, the ache between my thighs nearly painful. I wasn’t ready to talk, at all. All I wanted was to feel it again, the weight of her lips on mine. So bad I felt dizzy.
“Nah, Izzie, c’mon. I think we both feel we-”
“Paige?”
“Yeah mama?”
“Kiss me.”
-
It makes no sense. But I don’t hesitate. Leaning down, my lips crashing into hers with such hunger it makes me uncharacteristically whine. My body is on fire, every inch burning up as our lips slide against one another, boxers growing damp quickly. My hand carefully holds her cheek, like the girl next to me might break. But to my surprise she pulls me on top of her by the back of my head.
I’m tasting for every inch of her, slowing down and taking my time, unlike that drunken mess on the balcony. Somehow this is even better, the kiss of the century even. Her body is cool to the touch, a sign of the fever going down. But I barely register, kissing her bottom lip affectionately, my hands holding her face. Izzie responds, her teeth pulling on my lip harshly making me groan. Her warm tongue brushes over it, soothingly.
I open my mouth further, my tongue meeting hers, other hand moving to the bare waist of the girl underneath me. I can’t believe this is real. That I’m kissing Izara. It feels like some type of dream, but the ache between my legs proves that every second is real. That she’s really underneath me. And If I’m feeling my core throbbing just from the kiss, I’m certain the dark haired girl feels something similar and the idea of my girl feeling such pain and not having it taken care of breaks my heart.
So my thumb dips underneath the band of her satin pyjama pants, feeling the lace of her underwear as it does. Zari lets out a shaky whimper, her eyes fluttering open.
“Paige,” she whines, brows furrowing.
“Yeah?” I ask breathlessly, leaning down to kiss under her ear which makes her squirm under my weight.
“C-can you keep your hands,” another moan as I suck on her neck, careful not to leave a mark. Izara didn’t seem like the type of woman you marked. “On top of the clothes.”
God she’s gonna be the death of me. But I oblige happily, pulling my hand back to her bare waist.
“Whatever you want Izzie,” I say between ragged breaths, making the girl moan as I keep kissing her neck. Izara’s hands wrap around my back, long acrylics scratching at the skin there.
“Shit,” I cuss under my breath, feeling like I might die or cum in my pants if I don’t get to have her. Still, I keep kissing her, fully aware what a privilege it was just to be on her like this. I do everything to try to stay composed, to keep my cool, to focus on putting on my best show as I return back to sloppily kissing her lips, shifting on top of her, my other hand beside Izzie’s face to hold me up. 
As I move my hips, my knee presses into her core, against the sheer fabric of the pajamas making her gasp straight into my mouth. I repeat the movement with purpose now, and can feel the heat radiating off her, the fabric between her legs growing damp. She wants this just as bad as I do.
“Lemme keep going, please,” I whimper, brows furrowed and barely conscious of what is happening at this point. “Lemme help ma, won’t even touch you.”
Her face is contorted with need, chest heaving desperately. 
“It hurts don’t it? Lemme help,” I coo, my lips wrapping around her earlobe and sucking softly. “Please.”
“Paige,” she whimpers, her body shaking with need. But I feel her shift, legs wrapping around my body. “Please.”
Oh God, I might actually cum in my sweats.
I kiss her all over, her neck, bare shoulders, mind spinning with need, my cunt growing wetter and wetter with every moan that leaves Izzie’s lips as I push my knee against her core, gently, so as to not hurt her.
“P-paige,” she moans my name. My name. 
“Ohh fuck,” I cuss, squeezing my eyes shut at the way her voice sounds, deep and gravelly, turning more high-pitched each time I grind my knee into her cunt.
“Let me get you right ma, please,” I beg breathlessly, shaking my head to myself trying to keep myself present. “Please, Iz, would do anything to fuck you,”
She’s speechless, whimpering desperately, but I can feel her muscles turning tense from the pleasure I’m giving her, legs shaking gently.
“Would be so good, just lemme eat that pussy,” I moan into her ear. “Gimme five.”
Pulling back, I meet her gaze. Her contorted face, dark brows furrowed and lips parted, green eyes blown out black. This is the most beautiful she has ever looked. Easily. Could look at her like this forever.
I can tell she’s considering, mulling it over in her head. Just as her lips part the ring of her phone interrupts the moment, the obnoxious sound blaring over the movie playing in the back. Of course. I can never have anything good. Just little tastes.
“Fuck,” Izzie mumbles and abruptly sits up as if suddenly thinking clearly. I climb off her, watching as she fumbles to find her phone.
“Here,” I catch it, handing it to her. It’s Kiran, her brother.
“Fuck, I promised I’d help him with his paper,” she groans, still trying to catch her breath.
“Uh, okay,” I murmur, attempting to catch mine, awkwardly shifting further on the couch, watching as the girl gets up and walks into the bedroom, closing the door behind her, leaving me there once again. Wanting more.
-
taglist:@wbbgetsmewetter @thaatdigitaldiary @pb524830 @bueckersfive @lupinqs @sierrale8ne @d3arapril @lovegalor333 @avvwritesstufff @rosemariiaa @bueckers22 @taylynbueckers44 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @rizzlerbuckets @wosolipa @bridgetloveswomen @paiges-1vur @slut4uconnwbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch @janaelalfysblunt @omg-imtumbling @angryflowerwitch @ohbueckers
181 notes · View notes
reallyromealone · 2 days ago
Text
Title: quirkless
Fandom: Tokyo revengers, bnha
Characters: mikey, power loader, reader
Fic type: reader insert, omegaverse
Pairings: Mikey x reader
Warnings: male reader, reader insert, fluff, omegaverse, quirkless reader, Omega male reader, soulmate reader
Notes: this is a Patreon exclusive, all other chapters are on my patreon , I just thought this was a good way to advertise
Summary: on a rainy day, (name) decided to hide in an old shrine to get away from the rain but didn't expect to meet Mikey, a quirkless alpha
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
The rain was heavy, (name) sighing while seeking cover inside the old shrine. The rain was clearly not going to let up and (name) couldn't let the documents in his bag get ruined... So he guessed he was hanging out here till it let up or his cousin could pick him up.
It was quiet in the shrine, deterioration over the years and he was frankly surprised it held up at all. ' might as well work on stuff while I'm waiting' he thought and pulled out his work, wanting to be helpful to his cousin and his projects "it would have to be... 'gari... You got this measurement off..." He mumbled and fixed his cousin's error without a care in the world, the iPhone his cousin bought him working as his calculator for this all.
He was thankful for his cousin taking him after everything, he was only in his 20s and took (name) in regardless.
It really meant a lot.
Especially with well... What (name) was.
A hero taking in a quirkless Omega?
Unheard of.
"You shouldn't be here" a voice called out and (name) snapped his head up to see a blond standing before him cold back eyes.
"I'm sorry?"
-
Mikey didn't know why he was compelled to show up to the old shrine, haven't been there since he was 16 and now at the age of 19 he still remembered every detail, parking his bike off and out of the rain and stepped up. Half way he turned around, a familiar vantage point and swore he heard the old Toman members call out before continuing up, those feelings pushed down and continued his climb to the shrine.
It was untouched by time, the graffiti Baji did still on the door and signatures they did on the wooden frame...
He traced Drakens carefully....
"'gari, I know you're smart but seriously what does this mean?! I don't speak your weird jot notes!"
Mikey was confused before walking in, footsteps silent and he couldn't help but stare at the Omega based off the collar, working away on some blueprints without a note of the world around him.
"You shouldn't be here" the words slipped out calmly and the Omega snapped his head up, clearly frustrated "I'm sorry?" The words coming out like a question, eyes locking.
Then he felt it.
And he could tell the Omega felt the same.
"You're not gonna want me" (name) said simply, trying to move this along... He always thought of this day, lifting a paper and trying to figure out the codes his cousin used "why would you assume I wouldn't?" Mikey asked pointedly and (name) snorted "quirkless male Omega... Not exactly the most wanted" (name) looked back at him.
"You're quirkless?"
"Didn't I just say that?"
"So am I"
That made (name) halt "you are?"
"So why wouldn't I want you?"
(Name) Couldn't believe his ears, he didn't plan this one...
Mikey wasn't expecting to find himself chatting for hours with this mystery Omega who sat beside him and chatted with him like he was his oldest friend.
"So Mikey, are you even interested in pursuing this?" (Name) Asked genuinely, knees pulled up and head resting on his knee caps with a sweet smile that made Mikey's alpha swoon a bit.
"Do you want to?"
"I'm not sure, I never expected you to stick around... I always imagined my fated mate to be disappointed with the whole quirkless thing..."
"Same" Mikey never bothered since he was a child, focusing on toman and now Kanto... "Maybe take it slow?" (Name) Offered and Mikey huffed a laugh, something he hadn't done in years "take it slow? Sure" his life was fast and busy but for this stranger... He found himself willing to go slow for him.
When the rain inevitably lifted, (name) was happy "well, I better get going before my cousin thinks I'm dead or something" (name) offered his hand to Mikey to help him up, the Alpha taking his hand and the two directly before each other "you have an email?" (Name) Asked softly, the smell of burning wood and spices radiating off the alpha, making (name) feel hazy.
Mikey could smell the sweet scent of (scent) and already felt obsessed with every aspect of the Omega, not wanting him to leave already...
"Wanna meet here tomorrow? Same time?" (Name) Asked him looking at him with an expression that made Mikey want to kiss him,was this the cupids arrow he always heard about with soulmates?
"Yes."
89 notes · View notes
igotanidea · 1 day ago
Text
The talk : Dick Grayson X reader ( with Bruce Wayne)
Tumblr media
A/n : it's a snippet, I might consider writing it fully
Warning: suggestive but not explicit
Summary: it's time for the bees and bird talk with Dick
***
Bruce walking in on a young adult! Dick and his girlfriend y/n getting cosy between the sheets.
Obviously, as a normally functioning adult and a father, even if just a foster one, the batman takes it upon himself to have a talk about bees and birds with his favourite son.
He got it all planned out, schemed, thought out to avoid surprises and misunderstandings.
He actually had the contingency plans from A to Z drafted for a while, only hoping that those would never come to use.
Unfortunately, seeing y/n, with her blouse undone, hair a mess and Dick's hands (and apparently more) on her, forces Bruce to retreat to hide the blush creeping on. The last piece of his dignity is gone and he is pretty sure there's no good way to recover from such a failure.
He had reached the ultimate botttom.
"Hey B, you good?" Hours later Dick found him in the batcave, engrossed in some feigned, quickly fixed work. It was too easy to figure he would hide there to avoid seeing or - god forbid - hear anything.
"Hm."
"You wanted to talk to me about something, didn't you?" He grinned, delighting in a way Bruce seemed to develop an eye twich.
"Hm".
"Great. I got some time before I get back to y/n, so?"
"Get back?" Bruce turned to face his son and immediately regretted it. He seriously wished to erase the sight of lipstick and love bites on his neck.
"Something wrong?" Once more dick flashed a smile, trying to force a reaction out of Bruce.
"hm."
"we're being safe"
"Amazing"
"and she's okay with it"
"Great"
"And I've studied female anatomy so I know a thing or two about --"
Oh dear lord...
"Dick." Bruce was an inch from having a spasm. How ironic it would turn out to be if gotham lost its protector because of certain golden boy growing up.
"hey did you know that --"
"Get out, Dick."
"But I thought you wanted to--"
"I said get out"
"-talk?"
"I believe you got it all wrong. It was Alfred. Yes. Alfred wanted to talk to you. Not me."
"You sure about it B? You want me to talk to Alfred about -"
"yes. Absolutely. Now go. I'm sure time is of essence"
"it is. Though Alfred took some time off, thanks to your generosity, Bruce. So I'll go, sure, but I've already got so many questions that I don't want to search online and--"
"Dick?" Y/n voice sounded dangerously close to the batcave entrance "Where are you? I'm gonna have to go soon and I need a proper goodbye --"
"coming!!!" Dick yelled rushing off the room " great talk, Bruce. We'll continue it later."
Dick left and Bruce was finally able to let out a groan. The masterplanner forgot to acknowledge the fact that sweet kids tend to turn into feral, hormonal young adults and require actual upbringing.
***
"you're so mean to him, you know that?" Y/m muttered, once again with his lips on hers
"mean? Who, me? Ouch! You're hurting my heart here princess."
"you are. He could easily be a DILF, yet is alone and you're tormenting him."
"but if you saw the look on his face --"
"you're only proving my point of you being mean".
"I'm sure he'll get some, some day--"
"but still- mmm!"
"I remind you that you enabled the plan baby.... Played quite an important part in it." Dick started kissing her a little harder, not even trying to hide where he was heading. "Wonder why that is..."
"cause you're also a -- ohh!"
"you were saying?" He smirked, looking up at her.
"-prick"
"Am I?" His hands moved where she liked it "what else?"
"liar..." She gasped. While it was true he didn't tell her why he invited her over and that his father was in, his movements were serving as a pretty good apology.
Even if knowing Dick it was obviously also a way to boost his ego and prove his point and complete his twisted and deranged plan.
"you know what, I've already had one talk, I don't really need another.... Rather keep my lips occupied with something else --"
***
Bruce came out of the batcave only after making sure it was safe.
Mentally cursing himself for having not one, but four boys under his care.
Which meant that this - whatever it was-- was about to happen again.
103 notes · View notes
gliphyartfan · 1 day ago
Note
Hiii I'm back with another hug ask, bc the last one was cute and lu has been stuck on my brain for literal months now (help). Feel free to ignore if it's not your thing
I think I sent this to another blog but I'm curious to hear your take on it: yan chain w/ reader who doesn't know what hugs even are and just freezes up anytime they're given an ounce of affection. I'm such a sucker for characters who have no idea how to react when they're given positive attention. They're standing there while Hyrule is hugging them thinking he's gonna pull out a knife at any moment. They sleep with their own under their pillow
Oh, Anon, this is GOLD. You know the Chain is gonna be all over this.
The first time it happens, it’s Hyrule who does it first because of course it is. Sweet forest boy is naturally affectionate, so it just happens. Maybe Reader got a little scraped up in a fight or looked particularly exhausted, and Hyrule, being the ball of sunshine he is, decided a hug was the best way to comfort them.
He wraps his arms around them, all smiles, and says like, “You’re safe now!”
And Reader? Reader is just standing there like a stone statue. Frozen. Wideeyed. Heart pounding in fear because why is he hugging me and what’s his angle?!
Hyrule notices immediately. He pulls back, confused but concerned. “Are you okay?” he asks, tilting his head, while Reader just stares at him like he might pull out a knife any second. (Cause what he doesn’t know is that she was about to do that.)
Hyrule tells the others because, let’s be real, he doesn’t know how to process what just happened. And the Chain? Oh, they have feelings.
Wild is immediately like, “What do you mean they don’t know what hugs are?!” He’s borderline offended on Reader’s behalf.
Legend acts like it’s no big deal but lowkey feels awful about it. He’s been there, and he gets it, even if he’d never admit it out loud.
Sky is heartbroken ya know. This man probably cries about it later when no one’s looking.
Twilight is all quiet and broody, vowing to make Reader feel safe enough to accept affection.
Warriors? Oh, he’s dramatic as ever. “How could anyone deny them affection? They’re so precious!”
Four is quietly determined to fix it. He doesn’t say much, but you know he’s planning ways to help. (He’s…gonna have to go back to the drawing board a few several times when his plans keep failing)
Wind is confused at first but quickly makes it his personal mission to introduce Reader to all the hugs. He gives his sister and grandma hugs all the time! It’s a travesty NOT to hug and be hugged!
Time just gives one of those cryptic nods like he already knows but doesn’t elaborate. (He’s clueless but he’s gonna fix that.)
They’re obsessed with figuring out why Reader freezes at hugs. Who hurt them? Who dared deny them love and warmth? The thought keeps them awake at night, eating away at them until they’re ready to tear apart the entire world to find answers.
They need to be the ones to break through to Reader. It’s not just about helping; it’s about being the one Reader finally trusts, the one they lean on and allow into their heart.
I thiiiiink, Hyrule is the most persistent but gentle. He starts with small touches, a pat on the shoulder here, a light hand on their arm there, until Reader gets used to him.
Wild probably makes it into a game. He’ll casually lean against Reader, ruffle their hair, or throw an arm around their shoulders. Before they know it, they’re comfortable with him.
Twilight is careful. Like he’s dealing with a nervous animal. He waits until Reader is truly comfortable before trying anything, and even then, it’s just a warm hand on their back or a brief side hug.
Sky is the king of asking for permission. “Would it be okay if I hugged you?” And when Reader hesitantly agrees, he gives the softest, warmest hug imaginable.
Legend is… awkward. He doesn’t know how to express affection without it being weird, so he just gives them stiff, quick hugs and pretends it’s no big deal. (I think she’d be more comfortable with him since if HE’S awkward about it just like SHE is, then he’s not up to anything malicious and she’s totally okay with that. They both become cuddle bugs eventually. Much to his touch starved enjoyment.)
Warriors is surprisingly patient. He loves affection, but he reins it in for Reader’s sake. When he finally gets a hug, though? He makes it dramatically playful.
Four (eventually after many failures) takes the practical route. He offers hugs as rewards for little victories, like, “Good job today,” and eventually, Reader starts to look forward to them.
Wind is a menace. He sneaks up behind Reader for surprise hugs, then laughs when they freeze. But he quickly lets go so she only tenses for a second and doesn’t have time to really register what he did. But he’s also the first to cheer when they start relaxing.
Time is slow and steady. He probably waits until she’s more used to the others. His hugs are grounding and calm, offered when Reader seems like they need them most.
When they find out about the knife, it’s a…moment. Sky is devastated. (he’s also secretly furious that Reader ever felt unsafe enough to need it.)
Twilight is like, “That’s…practical…I suppose. but you don’t need it anymore. We’re here.” And he means it. (She still has it much to his dismay.)
Wild? Legend? Wind and Hyrule? They are just like, “Oh, that’s smart. I do the same thing.”
Warriors (who also sleeps with a knife cause ya know, soldier.) probably offers to buy them a better knife because, in his mind, better protection means better sleep. (Wild and Warriors definitely
The others are a mix of concerned and quietly determined to make Reader feel safe enough to sleep without it. I mean, I have no doubt they would all try to take the knife from her but when she shrinks away from them and doesn’t interact as much because of that, they’ll eventually give it back…kinda..they’ll spend a while trying to convince her she doesn’t need it but uh…it doesn’t work. (Even when she later on enjoys hugs from them.)
When Reader finally hugs one of them back, it’s Hyrule. Of course, it’s Hyrule.
He’s hugging them after another battle, telling them how glad he is that they’re okay, when he feels their arms wrap around him, hesitantly, awkwardly, but it’s there.
Hyrule freezes for a second, then breaks into the brightest smile. “You hugged me!” he says, voice full of joy, and everyone else immediately demands to know what just happened.
Every small victory,a brief touch, a hesitant smile, is like a drug to them. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. They want more, and they want it now.
When Reader finally hugs Hyrule back, the Chain is…. not okay.
Sure, they’re happy for him (on the surface), but deep down, they’re seething with jealousy. Why him? Why not them?
From that moment on, it’s a competition. They’re all trying to outdo each other, looking for any excuse to be the next one Reader hugs.
If Reader so much as leans on one of them for support, the others are immediately trying to replicate the situation to get the same reaction. It’s not just affection they crave.
It’s to know Reader trusts them more than she does the others.
…aaaand…that’s it! That’s all I got. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
34 notes · View notes
angelltheninth · 2 days ago
Note
Hi there, I was wondering if you still take requests ( If not that’s fine) I was thinking if you could do a fem-reader with my boy marcus or thieram ( thieram is the bartender jinx calls chuck) !! Thank you for your lovely writing, And keep up the good work !
One Marcus fic coming right up! Although Chuck is an interesting request, might write something for him at some point.
Pairing: Marcus x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, under the desk blowjobs, teasing, fingering, masturbation, cum swallowing, office sex
Word count: 0.7k
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: Are taking the "fuck the police" thing a little too literally in this one? I guess in this case it's suck the police but whatever.
Tumblr media
Marcus loved to talk a big game, to act tough, to be looked as authority among the Enforcers. It was a role he played well, at least as in public. In private though, in his office he was all yours to command.
As much as he tried to deny it he couldn't help but fall apart under your skilled hands and mouth.
He couldn't keep his eyes off you as you wrapped your lips around his leaking cockhead, your hand rubbing and twisting along the base, "We don't have much time." He groaned trying his best to keep still in his chair as you took him in deeper, licking along a vein running down the underside of his dick.
"You're the one who asked me to come here. Besides it's still early, there's no one here yet." You were very intent on drawing out more of his moans and whimpers as you shifted your hips, making sure he has a good view of your two fingers slipping inside your pussy.
"But you're the one who got under the desk at your own accord. I don't even have to ask for your mouth anymore, you just offer it freely." He reached one glowed hand to the back of your head and pushed you closer. His cock twitched as you took him deeper in your mouth, sucking hard and then deliberately stopping. You closed your eyes and hummed, your eyes searching for him.
You liked what you saw there. Desire. His eyes shining with want, his mouth parted just a little and his breathing ragged and labored. "Why did you stop?"
Your chuckle made him groan, his hips twitching upwards resulting in you pulling away, leaving just the tip in your mouth. You focused on the head, giving the little slit a tentative lick before pressing a kiss on it, then downward and then licking your tongue all the way around it. "I like that expressing Marcus. You should wear it more." You smile against the side of his cock as you drag your tongue painfully slowly back to the tip and taking his length back into your mouth.
"Good Gods. Your mouth is..." Marcus shut his eyes tight for a few moments, opening them as a whine escaped his lips, "Heaven. My love, you're heaven. Go faster. Show me how well you can suck my cock."
Deciding to show him mercy this once obliged with his request, taking his cock deep until it hit the back of your throat. One of your hands clenched his uniform tight while the other was still busy fingering your cunt. Getting Marcus to fall apart for you, because of you, in his office, where he should be the one holding all the power send such a surge of power through your body.
"Fuck, I'm gonna, oh fuck. Swallow it, don't let a drop go to waste, please love." Marcus surged forward, half folding over his desk as he flooded your mouth and throat with his cum. You kept swallowing, gulping it all down with gusto until he was done.
There were multiple white strings of cum connecting his cock and your tongue when you pulled away. "Not let it go to waste you say? Well then don't mind me." He barely arched an eyebrow at you while you pushed yourself up, your sticky, wet fingers falling away and replaced by his softening cock. "Much better." You mumble against his jaw as you settle comfortably on top of him.
"I think so too." He wipes your mouth with the pad of his thumb while grasping your hand and bringing your fingers to his lips, licking them clean one by one. "We have to clean up soon." You wiggle your hips in response, "A-Alright. A few more minutes. Oh and expect to get called in here again sometime today, I'll have an oral report for you."
"Oh? A special one just for me? Aren't I a lucky girl." Marcus smirked back at you and grabbed both fistfuls of your ass, dragging you closer to him.
"Very lucky." He murmured against your cheek. Honestly at times like this it was hard to tell whose who's bitch.
20 notes · View notes
moonshine-nightlight · 3 days ago
Text
2025 Writing Plans
With this being the third such yearly plan post, i think its officially a tradition lol. my standard disclaimer is this is my high level plan right now, subject to change and likely overly optimistic, but still worthwhile to make and try to layout. posting about writing plans gets me excited for the new year.
here's what i'm thinking:
Nothing's Wrong With Dale: Borrowing some of my plan from last year, i need to finish my own edit of Dale, hire an editor, commission cover art, and then self-publish. I'd love to get all that done in time for december publishing, but given how long everything was taking last year, i'd settle for just pushing it over to editors by the end of the year.
Short Stories: I want to finish off Courtship Confusion and Free Piano: Haunted this year, along with at least one other new story, but i am not trying to predict what that might be lol. maybe one that's been on my shelf for a while,maybe the one i started a couple days ago, maybe a new idea I havn't even had yet, like Voluntary Sacrifice. Nothing's gonna get posted until May at the earliest.
Novella(s): I'd like to kick off work self-publishing two other Novellas: a combo naga novella (Finally Woken and Selfish) and Sacrifice. No idea how far I can get between my edits and revisions, scrounging up the money to pay for editor/publishing/cover art, and pulling together some sort of timeline for all that, but I want to get it all going so i have more self-published work out there (it'd b really cool to go to a con or something in 2026 and have a set of books to promo and not just 2 lol - not to get too ahead of myself).
Series: I want to make Sacrifice the first novella in a 6 book series, each focusing on a different deity returning to the temple with the final book about all of them coming together against a common enemy, likely focusing back on the MC from Sacrifice. I have some note sand outlines for the different stories (although they all need better titles). Currently, I was considering them being a published exclusive, but I might still post abridged version on here, especially as I work through my ideas. So for 2025, in addition to getting Sacrifice further on it's own publish journey, i want to complete all the outlines and notes, solidify the characters, etc - everything i need to start writing these stories.
Longer stories: I still want to work on planning them out and making a decision on one to start posting next, like with Dale, but I don't think that actually posting anything longer like that will happen in 2025 (see everything else i want to do above lol). Still, getting organized is important and i'm looking forward to fleshing them all out and knowing which one i'll be diving into next.
So lots of stuff i want to get into and multiple things I want to try to finish off lol Definitely overly ambitious, but its getting me excited to get to writing.
As always, my day job is extremely busy January - April and this year is no exception so new stories until that time passes.
Feel free to send in any asks about upcoming/current stories! I'm looking forward to all the exciting writing and publishing to come in 2025!
18 notes · View notes
foxofavernus · 2 days ago
Note
It might be the case, but like. I've never had luck with my work being seen on sites MADE FOR art. My art and writing are not seen on tumblr, deviantart, furaffinity, instagram, etc., which has led me to giving up MANY times over the years. People are always freaked out when my art pages have nothing on them, but it's because the lack of engagement causes awful episodes for me and I end up wiping it (at least if it's not posted, then the lack of engagement is because there's nothing there- not because my work isn't good enough)
While I still don't get many views on twitter or facebook, it's more than I get elsewhere. Don't blame artists for trying to get more engagement.
I'm not even bothering to share updates for my writing here anymore because it doesn't make ANY difference, and it makes me feel like I'm just terrible at writing (which, frankly, I know I'm not- I wouldn't be getting freelance gigs working on video games if I were THAT bad. 🤷🏻) What little I do post, I don't even bother tagging anymore. Not gonna be seen anyway, so why bother taking the extra time to do so?
i hate it when twitter users don't tag their art posts properly so i have to actively search through every single post where they're mentioned like that one miner mining for diamonds meme
Godspeed.
27 notes · View notes
zylphiacrowley · 8 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A Heart to Heart
<previous - next>
73 notes · View notes
hypmicdaydreams · 18 days ago
Text
is anyone still in the mood for a hypmic imagines blog these days lol
#mod rambles#giant ramble incoming ->#the tag seems so..#dead. which makes me sad :(#it’s looking pretty grim for us yumes out there ngl#do the people still yearn for self indulgent romance with their oshis. lol#i am still very much a yume freak. perhaps more so lately. but i never do talk about my own yume ships loll#plus the yume community does not seem.. very pleasant. to say the least#i do kinda want to come back and write here#but not on this account. i’d make a new one#i kinda want to start all over tbh. like a fresh slate#plus it'd kinda force me to try and get back into the groove of writing bc i feel like i've forgotten each and every rule lol#also it's important to have a creative outlet!! even if i most likely do not have the time for one lmao#i do want to provide for the h.ypmic yume community on here though. plus i love to write#even though i'm not caught up on the drama tracks..#idk if i'm emotionally ready for them#yes i did see this is the final drb. i got the news while studying for my final the very next day so suffice to say i was not doing well lo#idk if I’d share the new blog though. but i feel like it’d be p obvious if were me? lol#but i also wouldn’t have the time to write or post so idk.#i have time rn bc I’m on break but#when school starts back up again I’m gonna be packed. esp since I’ll be starting neuro so that’s gonna take all my brain activity (ha)#also will be starting research back up again so that’s a pain#plus. truth be told this year hasn’t been particularly kind to me#i haven’t really been in the mood to write or share it bc of what’s been going on back home#my people are always on my mind all the time#esp my village#🇱🇧❤️#been doing a lot of rambling lately but not a lot of writing. hm#all this to say: i might be coming back but prob with a new blog. lol#i write a lot just to get to the bare basic point (hence the 30 tags)
11 notes · View notes
guinevereslancelot · 14 days ago
Text
starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
10 notes · View notes
manasurge · 6 months ago
Text
bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
9 notes · View notes
forgotten-daydreamer · 5 months ago
Text
vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
5 notes · View notes
savage-rhi · 2 months ago
Text
🫂
#i've had many people ask me in the DMs what could be done to help me out given the orange menace is coming back into power#the best things for me right now (I can't speak to others) is this: 1. Keep supporting my creative endeavors#no matter how little I might post or interact. Please hype me up. I need community. I need spirit to survive.#2. Help me find resources that will help myself and others. Food banks. Community meets. Passports. Finances. Mental health etc.#these are important and I don't want others feeling like sitting ducks. Even though I'm scared I want to be a solution to the problem.#I am going to be a helper in this mess cause that's who I am and I need ammo in this capacity#3. Donate so I can up my ration storage. I've been collecting food water and nonperishables and I'm trying to stock up on medication#and other basic necessities. I'm collecting as if I'm preparing to be homeless again and if I am over capacity I'm giving rations to others#I've had to make peace with the fact I can't run away. I can't move to another country as I'm broke and poor like the rest of my loved ones#4. If you have friends who are disabled or a minority or lgbtq etc. do what you can to protect them and show them that you love them#and build community#5. Share my work and that of others. Who knows if we're gonna have sites like AO3 in the future or even access to tumblr.#this is all I can think of at the moment and again I can't speak for others this is what comes to mind for myself#And I admit I'm coming from a place of the worst case scenarios#because in my mind if I imagine I'm dead or homeless etc. and work my way backward to the next worst thing before that it unravels my fear#and it gives me back my power in the situation by sitting with those fears and giving them time to speak#because in my mind if I'm already dead if I'm already homeless or at war etc. etc. then its already happened and what else is there to fear#if I've been through everything already in mind?#I'm hoping that the worst case scenarios don't transpire but I can't ignore the fact many of them could and probably will happen#in some capacity but I can control the actions I take through prep and facing these fears one by one#and most importantly sticking to routine by making sure im healthy to help people#anyway this is why ive been quiet for a while besides for spending time with friends and loved ones recently to get over what happened#im going to keep going to my classes keep helping people through my jobs try to be creative when I have spoons and little by little#make sure I have enough of what I need to get through the storm and outlive the bastards in power#I'm not sure what sort of pink variant to assign this to but its along the magenta spectrum#love you guys#we'll get through this
6 notes · View notes
candlebel · 10 months ago
Text
I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff
13 notes · View notes
chaoswillcalmusdown · 3 months ago
Text
operation "how much estrogen leeway do we have" has commenced and it's only been 2 days but i'm so frustrated my muscles are still acting like they've been through a marathon
#the past month has been trash and i've spent sooo many work days at home already this year#operation estrogen might fail which would leave us in an interesting place bc idk what the fuck he's gonna try next#except for a more radical surgery#which like. i'm down but endo seems to never get properly treated on surgery alone#though i guess mine might be if they surgically remove everything necessary to get rid of my periods#i'm just like#so frustrated by the way this takes time#and my endo is still like. comparatively not bad. and i've not struggled with it that long#relatively speaking#hiding from work helps a tad until i then have to return to work after an absence#i feel guilty about not being at work but i also just really want to have arms that don't feel like lead#i want to have energy for one after work activity once in a while#and like. my doctor is determined to get me there#they all keep telling me that it is important that i'm good and not just surviving#i'm just really tired#and i have to speak to the counselor tomorrow which#is good and mature but i truly don't fucking want to#i have fridays off to 'get more rest' but like#i do one thing on the weekend and it knocks me the fuck out#traitorous goddamn body#we shall see what the counselor says before i message my endo doctor agAIn but i don't think i'm any more capable of working full weeks#now than i was 4 weeks ago#i haven't worked a full week in the 6 weeks since school came back#rip to me#😔#some day my whiny text posts will be but a memory#i say as if i have any faith
2 notes · View notes