#it might fit better in a future scene I think... and perhaps it can be something the MC builds towards

[virtues-end]

I am absolutely not asking for you to add this to the story because I feel like readers have gotten very free with asking authors to tweak stuff and it's been very entitled in some cases, BUT:

I am imagining the delicious angst of a helvling who took Shea's last name mournfully dropping it after the Ch. 1 revelations. Because apparently they did not have the relationship built on trust the helvling thought they had, and, moreover, why would the helvling want to be associated with Shea's family if that's who it includes?

Yeah, I've talked about it (the last name thing) before in a previous ask. I might yet add it a little further down the line, or when I'm making final edits to the game.

[bitterie-sweetie]

This is how we fall

Pairing: Mingyu x reader Genre: fluff, light angst, fake dating au WC: 18.5k Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, alcohol A/N: happy belated mingyu day!! this is an updated ver of my fave fic i posted for another fandom, but i think it fits mingyu the most <3

You should know better than to make a deal with a stranger, but the need for a date to Minghao’s party has you desperate. It can’t be too bad though; all you have to do is show Mingyu what you saw in your reading, and he would be your date for one night. Simple enough, right?

The fates were playing with you.

That much you can be sure of—there is absolutely no way you should be seeing yourself in one of your clients' readings, in the same way that you aren't able to see what lies in your own future. And yet, here you are, getting a glimpse at the same hairstyle, the same smooth skin and face shape that you see in the mirror every day. It isn't entirely clear when your client doesn't look at his lover's face directly, but surely those features are enough to conclude that it's you, right?

"I see myself in your future."

"Is that a terrible pickup line or are you serious?"

You vaguely notice that Mingyu is laughing. It makes you realize that neither option was a good one really; a pickup line would imply you're interested in him, while seeing yourself in his future certainly implies a lot more than that. Perhaps you silently pray to the fates that those words didn't make their way to your boss in the other room.

But as the scene progresses, there are some other details that you notice. The kitchen in the background doesn't look familiar at all, nor do you recognize the light fragrance of oranges surrounding you—not a bad scent, though it isn't one you have lying around at home. What his lover is wearing is different from anything you own too, which could only indicate that you were wrong: they have to be someone else.

"Nah," you shrug, quickly trying to brush off your mistake, "I was just kidding."

That earns you a bemused smile as Mingyu raises an eyebrow, entirely unconvinced. "You sure about that?"

With a nod, you quickly pull your hands back to break out of the visions and internally curse yourself for being stupid enough to think that the lover in the visions was you. Just how delusional are you now? Sure, you've always been a head in the clouds type of person, falling in love with the possibility that everywhere you go, the next person you meet might just be the love of your life. Eye contact with the cute dog walker at the park turns into getting lost in their eyes while walking under the stars, and a brush of hands with the hot barista at the local coffee shop turns into holding hands while reciting wedding vows.

And admittedly, Mingyu is good-looking. But this isn't the same—he's a client, and you're working. It was silly to have thought of the possibility of being in his future in the first place, but even more ridiculous to have said it out loud.

You immediately shake off the thoughts when you catch him staring.

"So?" He leans forward, looking at you like he has some big secret to share. "What did you see?"

"Um, your love life will be just fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." You avoid his gaze, choosing to stare at the small piece of lint on your sleeve instead. "Things will run smoothly with your partner. I could sense your love for them and how committed to them you are. And similarly, how in love with you they are." 

This is the part you've always hated the most about the job. Jeonghan may have thought that hiring a "real psychic" was a good idea, but you think otherwise—surely anyone who knows anything about palm reading would immediately be able to tell that you're a fake. A fraud. You're not here to look over the love lines and life lines on your clients' palms when the visions come to you as naturally as breathing: they let you see a few scenes from the client's future, usually scenes involving a lover from what you've gathered over the years. And while it's no surprise that Jeonghan put you on love readings because of this ability, it's not like you can tell clients about the exact scenes you see.

Hence why you resort to vague summaries of the readings that make you feel like an imposter.

"Really?" Mingyu cocks his head, still watching you carefully. "Anything else?"

There were three scenes that you witnessed: holding hands across the table at what looked like a dimly lit restaurant, with tiny scars on his lover's hands. "There might be some dark times in your life or your partner's, but the two of you will be able to support each other." A kiss in what seemed like an open-air market, with the sweet taste of apples on your lips and the warmth of sunshine against your skin. "They'll bring you warmth." Then there was the final scene where you thought you'd seen yourself—slow dancing in the kitchen at midnight with faint music playing in the background and Mingyu's soft whispers reaching his lover's ears. "And your partner will make you believe in love again."

A fairly normal set of scenes compared to some of the things you've seen from other people, although it's a bit strange that they happen to be scenes where he's not looking directly at his lover.

"Hmm, okay." Mingyu nods slowly and then purses his lips, seemingly deep in thought. Maybe it's the dimness in the room, but it's like you can see the gradual change in his demeanour as his smile falters. "That sounds great and all, but I'm single as hell right now."

It takes all your efforts to not let your shock show. "Well, it can be your future partner."

"Sure, I guess." He shrugs, but the gloomy expression never leaves his face.

You open your mouth to give a retort, to defend yourself or to convince him somehow, but nothing comes out. Plenty of skeptical people have sat in that very seat before, but you've never dealt with someone who reacted like this. It almost seems like a prank or a test that Jeonghan is giving you to gauge how well you can react in these types of situations.

"Things didn't really end well with my ex, so I don't know if I'd want to go through all of that again." He grimaces. "But I'm kind of curious as to know how you came up with that."

"Well, what did you expect?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe something more realistic? Like telling me why my past relationship failed and if I'm destined to have bad luck with them."

Destined to have bad luck with them? Now that's a first. Many clients have argued with you before that any bad readings would never come true, but you're surprised to hear that it's the other way around with Mingyu. Just what has he gone through to make him doubt a good reading? You almost want to convince him, to have this reading be what helps him out of this turmoil that he's going through.

"I can show you, if you want." The words are out of your mouth before you can process them, and it isn't until you see the stupefied expression on his face that you realize just what you said.

"What?"

"I can show you what I saw in the reading," you repeat, figuring it's too late now to back out. Show him? Are you out of your mind? At least the worst that can happen is it'd make you look stupid; there is no way he'd accept—

"Oh. Um, yeah." Mingyu's shock gradually disappears and turns into something else that you can't quite pinpoint, but you might say that it almost looks like hope. "Okay, sure. How would that work?"

"I can show you the locations that I saw and, um, the—" You pause because how are you supposed to word this? "The events that happen in them."

This should be when he says you're joking, that he's not going to fall for some scam. But against all odds, he nods, and a smile gradually appears. "Is this a part of what's included in the reading, or do I have to pay extra?"

You're about to open your mouth and tell him that it's included—to essentially own up to your own mistake of offering in the first place—but something else comes to mind.

There is the party coming up. You've been complaining to Jeonghan all day about your lack of a date for Minghao's party, since receiving the invite and figuring out just who would be there. And while normally you wouldn't care about whether you had a date or not, this would be the first time that you're reconnecting with your old college crowd since graduating and leaving certain people behind.

"It's not included, but you don't have to pay; I'd gladly accept a favour instead. There's this party that I'm going to, and I need a date—not even like a real date. You could just be my fake date and—" You force yourself to stop when he doesn't react and simply blinks at you. "Never mind, forget I ever said anything. I'll just ask Jeonghan to be my date—"

"Y/N, you know I can't go to that thing," Jeonghan voice comes floating in from the other room. "I have a business to run."

Mingyu's face brightens, eyes twinkling in amusement, and you have to resist the urge to sink into the ground. "Okay, so a party? Sure, I can go to this party with you if that's what you want."

You want to stop this thing in its tracks. Your joke of an offer coupled with the mention of the party to a complete strange surely would be a recipe for disaster, and besides, why would he would even care to know what you saw in the reading? Why would he believe you if you do show him the scenes? But you can't bring yourself to say any of that. At the prospect of being handed a solution to your dateless party problem, you decide to bite your tongue and go ahead with it. Showing him a few locations that you saw in your reading would be nothing compared to being alone with certain people from your past.

"Okay, deal. Let's do it."

A few minutes later, he's leaving the shop with a little wave, and a new contact has been saved into your phone.

"You good?" Jeonghan raises an eyebrow, stepping out of the back room as he gives you a look that says he heard everything. His glasses are halfway down his face and hair ruffled like he tugged on the strands in frustration way too many times, which isn't surprising when the shop is on the verge of needing to be shut down. "Were you serious about asking me to be your date?"

"No, you must've heard wrong." You quickly shake your head, plastering on a smile. "And I'm great. Wonderful. Amazing." You're definitely not. "Everything is fine." It definitely isn't.

The only reaction you get is a teasing grin. "Well," Jeonghan pats you on the shoulder, "let me know how it goes. Maybe you really did see yourself in his future."

Great.

It was at this moment you knew you fucked up.

"You look like you just lost your job," Soonyoung says right when you step into the apartment that night.

You shoot him a glare. "Unprovoked?"

He's slouched in yet another strange position on the couch, eyeing you with the concern that should probably be going towards fixing his posture, and his phone screen in hand is flashing with probably some show he's been bingeing despite the TV being only a few feet away.

A typical night at your residence, really.

"Should I leave?" he asks, sitting up straighter.

You kick your shoes off, too worn out to think of a smart retort tonight. Then you slump onto the couch beside him. "Is it that obvious?"

"Uh huh. You want to talk about it?"

With a sigh, you start from the beginning. Mingyu had been friendly when he walked in that evening, all charming smiles and lingering stares. There wasn't anything particularly interesting about him, though you may have thought he was good-looking and may have been a tiny bit glad that he made a last-minute decision to switch from the career reading to the love reading.

You tell Soonyoung about the readings, dragging on the details until he's waving you on impatiently. And then comes the end—the deal you made where you'd show Mingyu what you saw in the reading in exchange for having him be your date to Minghao's party.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Soonyoung narrows his eyes, stare seeming to bore into your skull. "He was hot, wasn't he?"

"Um, well..."

"I knew it." Then he put his hands on your shoulders and shakes you a little. "Y/N," he looks you dead in the eye, "you need to stop being so nice to people you find hot. Well, except for me; I'm an exception."

You scoff. "It's not that. I need a date for this party, okay? You know he's going to be there so there's no way I'm showing up alone."

"Forget the party," he gives a dismissing wave, "how are you going to show him everything? The guy seems like someone who doesn't believe in this kind of stuff."

"Yeah," you mutter, "maybe he knows I'm a fraud and is secretly filming all this for his YouTube channel. Can you imagine the title? Delusional psychic makes up romantic scenes."

If Mingyu really did think you were a fraud, he wouldn't be wrong. After all, you only learned about the different palm lines as a cover for the real abilities you used for these readings. Maybe it isn't such a bad idea to switch over to regular readings now though; if only you'd been blessed with Jeonghan's bullshitting skills instead of this ability that's starting to feel more like a curse.

"No, Y/N. Who does he think he is?" Soonyoung abruptly gets up from the couch, hands balled into fists instead of laughing at your joke like you thought he would. "No one forced him to go to you. And we all know that fortune telling is a big sham; surely he should know to take everything with a grain of salt."

You nod, but then you think back to the reading. "Well, I did think that I could be wrong. The reading was... well, it was weird. I couldn't see his lover's face, like, it either went by really fast or he wasn't looking at them at all."

"Those scenes don't necessarily have to be with the ex he mentioned, right? You have no control over what point of someone's life you see."

Soonyoung is right. You can't control the time frame of someone's life you witness, so it's plausible that the love interest is someone else entirely. Perhaps from a future relationship, or maybe Mingyu and his ex if they get back together one day.

Or maybe the visions are wrong. Just because they haven't been wrong before doesn't mean it can't happen.

"Or," Soonyoung flops back onto the couch excitedly, "do you think it's because he has bad eyesight?" He leans in until his face is mere centimeters away from yours, pretending to examine you through squinted eyes. "Maybe he never sees his lover's face that clearly anyway."

"There's a big difference between having bad eyesight and simply not looking at something, you know."

"Then do you want to use me as practice?" He holds out his hand, placing it on your knee with his palm up. "You can check if futures can change or if eyesight really does affect the readings."

You give him one last skeptical glance before going along with it. Then you press two thumbs at the edges of his palm with your eyes closed and wait for the visions to arrive.

It's been years since you've glanced into his future, but still you immediately recognize the images. There's Soonyoung laughing while on a picnic with Wonwoo in the same sunny field, Wonwoo playing the guitar in your current apartment, and a final close up of the ring on Soonyoung's slender finger. You wonder if he still remembers this last one; you're at the age where all of your friends are getting engaged left and right, and you're half expecting a wedding invitation any day now.

But just before you can pull your hands back and ask him if the first two events have already happened, the vision changes. A new scene takes shape this time and it confuses you at first because the view starts off with an unfamiliar ceiling. Then as Soonyoung glances down, Wonwoo's face comes into view and—

"What the hell?" You immediately jerk back, scrambling to break out of the vision. "Please don't get me to do your reading ever again."

Soonyoung gives you a confused glance. "Why, what did you see? Did it change?"

"Let me just say that I really don't need to see the things that you and Wonwoo do."

"You—you saw what?"

"I heard it too." You bury your face in your hands, trying to wipe the memory away. "The visions really just had to give me first person seats to a show I never wanted to see."

Soonyoung chokes on his spit.

If Mingyu forgot about this agreement entirely once he left the shop, it wouldn't surprise you. You'd just take it as one of those situations where friends tell each other to hang out but never end up making plans, so why would this be any different?

What surprises you is that he does text you a few days later.

So through your text conversation, you tell him all about the first scene you saw—the restaurant with the hand holding across the table. A dinner date, essentially. It's a good thing that this is the easiest scene to reenact; maybe after this he'd decide that he's had enough of this fake fortune telling stunt while still upholding his end of the agreement.

But despite how simple the scene is, the thought of doing this makes you all kinds of nervous. Your stomach twists at the thought of spending a whole night on the receiving end of Mingyu's intense stare, especially when this would be so different from your interactions with him while working that day. At least at work you knew what you were doing. This on the other hand, is completely out of your range of knowledge. Like, what do people talk about during these kinds of events? What if whatever you're eating gets really messy? What if—

"Wait, where are you going today? Soonyoung didn't tell me about this." Wonwoo glances over at his boyfriend in confusion before turning back to you. "And what did you agree to do?"

"Um," you say slowly, glancing between the two perched on the couch. "I made a deal to show a client what I saw in his reading."

"But why?" Wonwoo puts his hand on your knee, leaning over with concern written on his face. "You haven't done anything like this before for your other customers, have you?"

"No way. I probably wouldn't be doing this if he hadn't agreed to be my date for Minghao's party."

Maybe it was weird to have agreed to this—the look on Wonwoo's face said as much. After all, Mingyu is a stranger, and you don't know anything about him other than the flashes of his life you witnessed through the reading. But won't it simply feel like an awkward first date? All you have to do is take him to a restaurant that resembles the one you saw and hold hands across the table. It can't be too challenging when there is no need to do much talking nor get to know each other.

"Oh. Because of..." Wonwoo trails off, giving you a feeble smile. "Right."

"Well, don't mention him," Soonyoung elbows him in the ribs.

Wonwoo waves his boyfriend off. "I'm not sure how you're going to make this client believe you, but your time with him today doesn't have to be a bad thing."

"But babe, you didn't see how upset Y/N was that night after agreeing to this." The dramatic pout on Soonyoung's face has you rolling your eyes. Then he turns to you. "He might be hot, but he could still be an asshole. This guy seems like bad news. What if you get kidnapped? What if you go missing? Who's going to help pay the rent then? And—"

"Don't act like you're not waiting for me to move out so that Wonwoo can move in," you reach over to flick him on the forehead. "Thanks for your concern but I think I'll be just fine."

"At least share your location with us, okay? If you need an emergency phone call to get you out of there, I have my scream perfected."

"Unfortunately, I am very aware of that." You definitely don't want to think about the last time Soonyoung called to pull you out of a group meeting back in college and nearly damaged the hearing of your entire group. "Okay, I'm really going to go now."

"Oh and," a hand wraps around your wrist just as you stand, "don't fall for him."

"Shut up, it's literally one meeting."

One meeting won't be a big deal. It'd be a nice dinner date with some innocent hand holding, and then you probably wouldn't have to see Mingyu again until the party. Nothing can't go wrong when you'd be in public the whole time anyway.

Soonyoung shouts something that sounds like, "At least wear something nicer!" but you're already out the door.

"Oh, you actually came." Mingyu comments, face instantly lighting up when he spots you. "I almost thought you decided to back out."

"Me? Never." You try for a smile, but you know he's referring to your tardiness.

It'd be easy to blame your annoying roommate for holding you up today, but embarrassingly enough, it wasn't because of him. Your shortcut through the park's uneven grounds was the culprit, causing your massive tumble which ultimately led to being much too late for this date. It's times like this when you wish your ability would let you see more useful things than random points in other people's futures.

Upon arriving at the restaurant though, you realize that something else you wish you'd seen is how your choice of restaurant is nothing like what you expected. You picked the place after scavenging through the depths of Google Maps, digging up pictures left and right from various reviews, and the single review of this place was the only one that seemed to match the one in your visions. In the photo, the restaurant was just as dim, and looked like a casual place. But now, in front of you, is a restaurant that looks nothing like the one in the photo.

In front of you is something much fancier—small chandeliers hang above every table and elegant decorations line the walls. There is no doubt that it must've gone through a major upgrade since the local reviewer posted those pictures from five years ago. Now not only was your attempt at finding the restaurant in your visions futile, but this place also makes you wish you chose a different occupation entirely. Preferably one that pays more than the meager amount your readings are worth.

"Well, this is an interesting choice," Mingyu comments, eyeing the walls. "Seems like a nice place."

You debate pulling him right out of there. "Um, actually, it's not—"

"Hi, do you have a reservation?" the hostess asks, looking between the two of you. And before you can even answer, there are two menus in her hands and she's leading you to your table. Great. Perhaps you'd just have to take off one of your rings and fake a proposal for the sake of a free meal if it turns out to be too expensive. You heard that it worked for a friend of a friend once upon a time.

Once seated, you nearly do a double take. There is no dim lighting obscuring Mingyu's handsome face this time, and under the glow of the chandelier, you can finally see his smooth skin, plush lips, and large eyes that seem to twinkle when he glances at you for whatever reason. If you thought he was good looking before, you have to admit that he looks even better today. 

You turn to the menu instead, studying it intensely despite having immediately picked out the cheapest option. Five minutes go by. The waitress comes by to take your orders. Another five minutes. Are first dates always this awkward? It's been years since you've gone out with anyone, but if this were the reality of the dating scene, maybe third-wheeling your friends for the rest of your life wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Mingyu clears his throat. "Should we start with the basics?"

"What?"

"A story to tell people at the party if they ask about us." He swirls his drink around, eyes flickering to yours occasionally. "We need to be on the same page with our answers to make it convincing."

Right, he's going to be your fake boyfriend for the party. You haven't thought that far yet when you've had the scenes to worry about, but he's not wrong. "Oh. Um, okay. So how did we meet? It wouldn't be through mutual friends because most of them would be there. Maybe a dating app?"

"Hmm," he hums, looking over everything on the table as he thinks. "We met at your shop when I got a reading done. Then you showed me how everything happens."

"We're just going with the truth?" You're slightly doubtful of whether this story would be believable, yet the same time you're relieved you wouldn't have to be lying. Soonyoung has always said you were a terrible liar. "I guess that works. So then how did we fall for each other?"

Mingyu presses his lips together and thinks for a while. "Through reenactments of the things you saw in the reading." As if for emphasis, he moves his drink out of the way before putting his hand on the table between the two of you, and then beckons for you to do the same.

"Oh. This is what you mean by reenact it."

Of course you knew this might be what he wanted, and you came here fully prepared to reenact this with him. But because of your fall at the park earlier, now the fresh scrapes on your palms are telling you to stop in your tracks. You shouldn't be touching anything and sure as hell don't want him to see the state of your battered hands.

You opt for a shrug, feigning nonchalance. "Um, yeah it was just hand holding. You know, we don't have to actually—"

"Come on, Y/N." He puts on a pout and the longer he stares at you, the more his eyes somehow start to have the effect of puppy eyes. "Just humour me?"

So you give in, reluctantly. You reach out a hand and rest it on his with your palm up to show him exactly why you don't want to do this.

Mingyu's eyes widen at you before he's holding your hand up to examine it closely. "Oh shit. What happened? Did you fall on your way here? Is that why you were late?"

You nod a little.

"Hey, you should've said something. I'll go ask for some bandages, okay?"

"No, it's fine—" you start, but he only shoots you a smile before leaving his seat.

Looking down, you can see that your palms already appear to be much better than earlier—the red splotches are mainly dry now, and the dirt has been wiped off. Thankfully, Mingyu didn't see the worst of it, but that does little to stop the embarrassment in its tracks. You only hope that the heat at your cheeks fades when he comes back a few minutes later waving a handful of bandages around.

You think that it would end there, but it doesn't. Mingyu insists on putting these bandages on your wounds. His fingers are light where they graze your skin as he carefully places them on your scrapes, and it's such a nice gesture that you're suddenly taken aback. This is supposed to be a quick dinner, and he's supposed to hate you for the bad reading. But now you question if any of that is true when he continues to act so kind and friendly.

"This is not how it's supposed to go." You frown, trying not to stare at his face as he works on the bandages in total concentration. "Not at all."

Because your hands may be in his across the table as you wait for your food to come, but he's only holding them to bandage your wounds. And while this restaurant does seem romantic, it's nowhere near the look of the one in your visions.

Mingyu's eyes fill with amusement when he looks up. "Holding hands across the table as we wait for our food, right? Isn't this close enough?"

"You're bandaging me. This isn't remotely romantic."

"Love isn't always supposed to be romantic, Y/N," he says dramatically, rolling his eyes. "Haven't your readings shown you the small things that people do for each other?"

You wonder just what kind of readings he thinks you do. "Um. I guess."

He does have a point. Maybe this moment, no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous it seems, is better than having to sit through faking or pretending everything. It may force you to be vulnerable, but each gentle brush of Mingyu's fingers and each press of a bandage against your palms hint at a vulnerable side of him too.

You study him, wanting to figure out just what kind of person he is. Why is he being so kind when the two of you are practically strangers? When this meetup should be a quick meal at a casual food place, involving no more physical contact than two seconds of hand holding? Well, perhaps five seconds. But now, it seems like the two of you have gone beyond your original plans of fake pleasantries.

"All done." He lightly presses the last bandage onto your palm, and you're grateful for the arrival of your food as an excuse to pull your hand back.

"So, um," you rack your brain for literally anything to say, "why did you come in for a reading that day?"

"There was a career decision that I was stuck on," Mingyu picks at his food then looks up with a twinkle in his eyes. "I don't believe in this whole fortune telling thing, but I needed some advice on what to do. Figured that maybe while you were telling me to look deep inside myself and to follow my heart or whatever, I'd suddenly get an epiphany about what to do."

"And did you?"

"Yeah."

"Even without the reading? The boss would've done a good job on it." That part is true; you may be the real psychic of the two of you, but you can't deny how good Jeonghan's readings are. Heck, you'd rather choose to believe his words over what you see in your own visions.

A nod. "Just going there gave me what I needed. I decided it would be good to start fresh, to try something new." He pauses to take a sip of water, but then his eyes snap to yours. "Wait, hold on. Did you say he's your boss? You were going to ask your boss to be your date? For the party?"

"Oh, Jeonghan?" You want to laugh at the incredulous expression on his face. "Nah, he's not exactly my boss. We met in college as classmates."

Your previous thoughts about not needing to talk completely disappear as you tell him about how this little psychic shop started. It had been Jeonghan's idea, a backup plan for a backup plan essentially. He'd always joked about starting a business if nothing else worked out after graduation, and the opportunity came around sooner than expected.

"Damn, I wish my boss was chill like that. Mine really makes everyone stay back to finish the projects that he deems urgent when they aren't."

"You mean you're not in school?" You have to wipe the shock from your face. "I would've thought that you were some frat boy in college."

Mingyu stares at you blankly, blinking a couple of times. "You know, I'm not sure if that was a compliment or insult." He frowns. "Well, I guess it's good that my job hasn't aged me too much yet. But frat boy? Really?"

"Hey, maybe that should be our cover instead," you tease. "Frat boy Mingyu who I met at a party in college years ago but only recently reconnected with."

He rolls his eyes at you, suddenly starting to chew so aggressively that you have to laugh at his expression.

The rest of the night goes by similarly, allowing you to forget all your worries about awkward first dates. Mingyu is a good conversationalist and surprisingly funny to, and when he drops his fork and later bumps his head on the chandelier is so endearing that you find yourself smiling every time you look at him.

As the two of you walk back to the shop afterwards, your time together leaves you thinking about how he's not the person you thought he would be. Maybe you should know that already based on the glimpse into his future because the warmth that you'd seen from those scenes alone could've been an indicator.

"There are two more things you saw, right?" Mingyu turns to you, sparkles in his eyes from the reflection of streetlights right outside the shop. "Are you free next weekend too?"

"Wait." You're almost sure you heard wrong. "You—you want to see the rest of them? The scenes I saw?"

"Yeah, of course," he says like it's obvious, seemingly unable to understand the surprise that must be on your face.

This is a possibility that you never considered at all. You don't get why he would want to see you or spend time with you again, or how showing him what you saw in the visions would possibly convince him that they're real. "Oh, um. I didn't think you would be interested."

"Why not? We still need to figure out more of our cover story for this party too." He gives a shrug and then raises a hand up in a wave. "See you next week?"

"Yeah, okay," you manage to say. "Next week."

The rest of the way home is filled with Mingyu's words echoing through your mind.

When you open the door to your apartment, Soonyoung drops his phone mid-scroll, giving you a onceover that makes his eyes as big as saucers. Then he's running over to you.

Right, you completely forgot about your state of being until this reminder.

"What the fuck happened to you? Did the Mingyu guy do all of this?" He stops you in the middle of the hallway, hands on your shoulders to spin you around as he glances over every inch of the mess of blood and dirt on your clothing. You understand what it would look like from the outside—the result of your fall must be fueling his thoughts about Mingyu being a bad guy. Maybe it looks like you bravely jumped out of a moving car and managed to crawl back home.

"No—"

"See? I told you he was bad news," he huffs and then guides you into the kitchen where he sits you down on a chair. "What happened? Did he pull something weird? Should we be calling the police?"

You feel a laugh on the verge of escaping your throat, but you bite it back. Soonyoung's questions are so absurd that you almost want to keep quiet and make him frustrated by his overwhelming curiosity. That'd certainly be one way of annoying him the way he always annoys you.

"No, nothing like that," you say instead, shaking your head. "I tripped and fell while walking through the park." Then you hold up your palms to show him the small bandages where they're peeling at the corners. "He helped bandage me at the restaurant."

Soonyoung nods slowly, but judging by his narrowed eyes, he's entirely unconviced. "Okay, but you look like you got into a fight with him or something. And why would you go through the park?"

"You're the one who made me late, okay? I had to take the shortcut." You go to push him then instantly regret it when the contact makes your palms throb. "Anyway, Mingyu was really nice. Though the, um, reenactment didn't really go as planned."

Then you begin to update him on everything that happened during your date, starting from the restaurant and how it didn't match the visions, to your fall and the bandages. But as you go over all of the moments, you realize there are a few things you intentionally leave out, like the tiny crinkles that appeared at the corners of Mingyu's eyes whenever he smiled. His soft hands that bandaged you so tenderly. Maybe he was right that love is all about the small gestures—even though you initially thought the moment paled in comparison to the one in the reading, the more you replay the day over in your mind, the more you realize that it was indeed romantic in its own way.

"And? Is that it?" Soonyoung gestures wildly. "You won't have to see him until the party, right?"

You can feel the smile on your face fade. "Um, actually. He wants to meet again for the next scene that I saw."

"Don't tell me that's the kiss scene?"

"Yeah... the kiss."

"Well, good luck with that one." Soonyoung's smirk only grows at your reaction. He gives you a pat on the back, but it feels just as insincere as his words. "Try not to fall for him."

As your roommate leaves the room, you can only sigh. This is exactly why you left out those details about this date—Soonyoung would be making fun of you forever. Yes, that has to be the reason. It definitely wasn't because you considered those moments special.

All week, you try to come up with a plan to avoid showing Mingyu the next scene from the visions. You think about making up a more PG-rated scenario since there is no way he would know if what you're showing is real or not, but how can you lie about it when he'll experience the real thing in his future? Besides, Soonyoung tells you the scenarios you come up with are lame.  

So your choices for this scene are really limited—either you would have to share a kiss with him in public or watch as his face contorts with disgust at the thought of having to kiss you. Or perhaps you would be dealing with the awkwardness of dead silence between you once he turns down the kiss. Either way, today is not looking good for you.

On top of that, the location for this scene gives you even more trouble than the first one did. You hadn't exactly gathered much information from it; without being able to use your sense of sight, you only know there was kissing, the smell of the outdoors, and light chatter in the background. A park might seem too public, too open of a space to be doing this, and a forest trail might be too isolated and not sunny enough compared to the sun you'd felt on your skin.

In the end, you decide on the market. A cute date at the market seemed like it could be the perfect balance, and today it bustles with the afternoon crowd of couples on their date and the elderly running their errands. When you look at Mingyu, your hypothesis is confirmed—beside you, he watches the rows of vendor carts and tents with amazement in his eyes.

"You've never been here before?"

Mingyu shakes his head. "Nah. I've been meaning to, but just haven't had the chance to yet." Then he turns to you with a teasing smile. "You chose the perfect spot. It's like you actually read my mind." 

"I can assure you I'm not psychic like that," you mutter, stunned for a second. "Let's take our time exploring and see everything today."

So the two of you slowly walk through each aisle and you watch him marvel at different items from each of the stalls you stop at. It's merely an excuse, though. You're stalling. You still haven't told him about what is supposed to happen in the second scene, and you've been carefully dancing around the topic each time he asked. How are you supposed to blatantly say that the two of you are supposed to kiss? All you can do is hope that the wonders of the market would distract him enough so that he forgets why you're here at all.

"So how long have we known each other?" Mingyu turns to ask as the two of you walk to the next stall. "And what kind of party is it? Don't tell me I unknowingly signed up to go to a wedding with you."

"It's not that much better actually—it's an engagement party."

He stops dead in his tracks. You laugh.

"A year minimum," you continue like he's not giving you a deadpan stare. "Maybe two? We should be pretty serious about... each other."

"Do you think I could watch over the shop for you while you take your boss to be your date?" He pauses, looking at you with hopeful eyes that immediately dim when you shake your head. "What have I gotten myself into?" Then he's walking to the next stall with dramatically loud steps, though you manage to catch the smile he tries to hide.

The rest of your cover story slowly comes together over the course of the date—he asked you out, some of the places you frequent are last week's restaurant and today's market, and you sometimes spend the weekend at his place which is why Soonyoung and Wonwoo haven't met him yet.

After exploring the majority of the stalls a while later, Mingyu finally turns to you.

"Hey, let's head over there." He nods at the field behind the market, shooting you a grin when he takes your hand in his.

You hope he doesn't hear the startled sound that escapes from the back of your throat.

Tucked away behind the row of vendors at the very edge of the market is a field with a few empty picnic tables. And while you aren't sure if this is how the kiss happens in the vision, you get the feeling that maybe he knows. The bit of privacy behind the stalls and the way the noises of the market gradually fade into the background as you approach the table tell you as much—if you were looking for an opportunity to reenact the scene today, it would be here and now.

You climb onto the table, letting your legs dangle off the bench while Mingyu follows suit beside you.

"You haven't said anything about why we're here today." He eyes you up and down with amusement playing on his lips. "Why? Is it something bad?" The teasing tilt in his voice paired with a slight eyebrow raise is enough to have your cheeks quickly burning up.

Then the embarrassment kicks in. You know that there is no avoiding it when the two of you are already at the location of the second scene in your vision, and now it's just a matter of telling him. But no matter how you try to phrase it in his head, what could possibly be a good way of telling your client that you're supposed to kiss him? That's what Mingyu is, right? A client that wanted to see and experience the things in your reading of his future.

"Um. It's... a hug," you say hesitantly, testing the way it sounds in your mouth. Picturing the way his face would fall at the word 'kiss' is enough to scare you into changing your mind at the last second. "A hug is supposed to happen here."

As if he knows you're not telling the truth, Mingyu cocks his head. "Oh yeah? Here of all places?" Maybe it really was a bad idea to lie; you should've believed Soonyoung when he said you can't tell a lie to save your life.

"Yeah." You try to swallow the lump in your throat. "I'm not sure why it's here either."

If he does detect your lie though, he doesn't say anything about it. Instead, his expression morphs into something softer. "Love can be found everywhere, Y/N. Even in a hug at the market if you want it to." Then he gets up and holds his arms open, eyes twinkling with the question of whether you want this.

And do you want this? It might be too soon to be doing this when you barely know each other, but it's also too soon for your heart to be speeding up the way it does, for you to feel a small burst of butterflies in your stomach every time he so much as stares at you for a moment too long, and for this cover story and the reenactments to feel more tangible than the abstract concepts they are meant to be.

But despite all that, you find yourself getting up from the table and carefully stepping into Mingyu's arms. You slowly relax in the warmth of his embrace and let the faint scent of his cologne envelop you, and though it's a tender, loose hug, you can feel the steady beating of his heart and the rises and falls of his every breath.

"Is this how it happens?" he whispers, the rumble of his voice vibrating through his chest.

You can't respond. You don't know how to, nor do you know why he's even the slightest bit willing to act out a scene from a stupid reading that he probably deems a scam anyway. So the obvious answer would be to say yes and call it a day.

The answer is at the tip of your tongue. But as you open your mouth to respond, something stops you from continuing the lie. "No, not quite."

It's the same feeling that tells you to cup his cheek and bring him closer to you, and it makes you lean forward, just until you can see his smooth sun-kissed skin and the small mole at the tip of his nose. And then you're slowly squeezing your eyes shut and bringing your lips to his—kissing him, like how it happens in the reading.

Mingyu's surprise is evident in the way he freezes momentarily, and the rational part of your mind would think that this is it. This is your big mistake and now he's going to back away and—

He kisses you back.

He pulls you even closer and you expect it to feel like the delicate kiss in the reading, but it's completely different in that he kisses you like he wants this. Like he wants you. Those supple lips glide across yours, consuming you, making you feel like you're sinking into the depths of his touch and his body. And all you can do is hang on, grasping weakly at his collar as every essence of your being is filled with want for a person you shouldn't want.

Mingyu breaks the kiss just as you start to think this might be too intense to be done in public.

He catches his breath and then gives you a shy smile, not quite meeting your eyes. "Oh, so that's how it happens?"

Your head is still spinning, but when you look at Mingyu, it's like he's glowing. The way the sun glistens on his skin and lights up his face makes him so beautiful that you almost forget to breathe. If the kiss hadn't felt so real, you might've been thinking that this moment, and Mingyu himself, are straight out of a dream.

You can answer him easily now. "Yeah, it is."

When he takes your hand a moment later, all the thoughts about cover stories and readings and Minghao's party disappear from your mind, leaving only the warmth of him beside you and the memory of his lips on yours.

However, reality hits you very soon. There, by one of the nearby stalls, is someone who looks like Mingyu's lover in the visions. They have the same hairstyle as you, the same smooth skin, and even the same face shape. Without directly glancing at their face, you can assume that you are looking at yourself.

But even though they don't turn your way as the two of you walk by, simply seeing them has your heart sinking. It sinks at the thought that the kiss might be nothing more than a figment of your imagination or of a world where you're both pretending that you really are the lover from the visions. That Mingyu's eagerness to kiss you, to want you, wasn't actually meant for you at all, but rather for someone he hasn't met yet.

And you don't get it. You don't understand why you're disappointed by this when it isn't even real. It shouldn't ever be real. Regardless of whether it was a good kiss, of whether it felt wonderful and realistic and enticing, you should know that it wouldn't mean anything.

Because you're not the lover from the reading.

Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise to you at this point, but Mingyu agrees to reenact the third and final scene of the vision. You were sure that he would say no, that he definitely wouldn't appreciate having a stranger barge into his home for this one. So to have him actually agree to it has you thinking that maybe if you tell him you're going skydiving he'd agree to that too.

This time it's not as difficult to tell him what happens in the scene—it's just slow dancing, which should be easy to reenact at least compared to the kiss at the market. All you have to do is rest your hands on his shoulders and then step side to side to the beat of the music. How hard can it be?

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Soonyoung peers at you from the doorway of the bathroom. "You barely managed to escape from this guy during your first meeting, and now you're walking right into his home." He comes closer to where you're checking your outfit in front of the mirror, and says in a loud whisper, "where you'll be alone with him."

Right, that is the part you're trying not to think about.

"You sure you can handle it? After," he gestures in the air, "what happened at the market and all."

Internally, you grumble. Externally, you ignore him.

"I know you're picturing that steamy kiss." He rolls his eyes, which you can all too clearly through the mirror. "But anyway, if you're sure about going to his place tonight, just remember to be safe, yeah? Share your location just in case. Hold your head if you're about to jump out of another moving car."

"Don't you have a boyfriend you should be bothering instead?"

That earns you an enthusiastic nod. "He should be coming soon. So take your time on your date tonight."

You finally get some peace and quiet when you step out, once again leaving your roommate mid-sentence about how you picked another terrible outfit.

You're the first to arrive at the restaurant, though it isn't long before you spot Mingyu coming from a block away—he's late for your date and clearly running to make up for it by the way he dodges other people on the street, nearly knocking them over. He gives a big wave when he sees you.

"Sorry for being so late," he pants as he bends over to catch his breath. "Thank you for waiting."

"Guess that makes us even. Although I hope you didn't trip on your way here."

That puts an instant grin on his face. "Nah, I just had to clean up the apartment a little. Well, actually," he pauses, the grin fading, "a lot. Can't have it be a mess for when you come over tonight."

"Oh, right." You still don't know why he would agree to all this, especially if it takes that much work.

The dinner goes well. It's one of the few moments of peace, considering your first meal together was ruined by the remnants of your nasty fall, and the market date was interrupted by an abrupt awakening. Despite the mishaps, you don't exactly see these events as losses when your memories are brimming with Mingyu's gentle touch when he bandaged your hands, and the warmth of his lips fitting so perfectly with your own.

And tonight? You know that there will be another moment for you to commit to memory forever.

When you arrive at your destination, you finally understand why he was late for your dinner. The place is spotless; unlit candles fill the room, a bottle of wine with empty glasses are on the counter. There are flowers in a beautiful vase on the table. It's like he spent all day running around just to set up for this moment.

"It's presentable, right?" Mingyu cracks a smile, slipping off his shoes and sliding his jacket onto the rack, followed by taking your coat as well. "Not sure how it's supposed to happen, but I figured I should at least try to make it—well, as romantic as possible."

"Wow, you didn't have to do all this," you manage to get out. You're still standing right in your spot as he goes over to light the candles, in shock and confusion over why he would possibly do such a thing.

He turns back to give you a small shrug. "I wanted you to have a good time."

When he finishes lighting the candles, he puts on some music by selecting it on his phone, seemingly having put together a whole playlist for the occasion. And if you didn't know any better, it would be so easy to believe that he simply put together a romantic date night at his place for the two of you. That he did all this because you're someone special to him. That this means something.

Well, if he can pretend for a night then maybe you can too.

You shake the thoughts from your mind and replace them with a smile as a song you don't recognize starts softly in the background. Mingyu heads to the table, beckoning you to follow, and then pours two glasses of wine.

"You know, I'm really glad I went to you that day." He takes a sip of his wine and then swirls it when he puts it down. "For the reading. I'm glad I met you. And um, I should thank you for showing me all of this."

"Shut up," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "Don't lie. You still don't believe in any of this fortune telling stuff, right?"

Mingyu bursts into laughter. "Okay, you're right. I don't. I just wanted to see some acts of love after going through a breakup, to kind of feel like there could still be hope for me. Honestly though, when you offered to show me what happens, I thought you would make up random scenarios just to date me or something." He waves dismissively at the frown on your face. "But it doesn't matter to me. Real or not, I like spending time with you, and... well, maybe you've convinced me."

"I convinced you that the reading was real?"

You're met with a shrug as he takes another sip of his wine, and in that brief silence you ponder about what he's referring to. There is no way he believes in fortune telling, so what else is there to convince him of?

But then something else pops into your mind.

"Can I ask you something?" You take a deep breath, letting out a sharp exhale when Mingyu nods. "What happened with your ex?"

It's clear that he hesitates with the way he swirls his glass, pressing his lips together and avoiding your gaze.

"Never mind. We don't have to—"

"It's okay. It was a long time ago and I'm over it." His eyes meet yours before flickering away. "Actually, I think I knew it was over long before it was really over. But I kept hoping that things could be fixed. I was stupid and kept trying."

"Hey, no, that's not stupid." You reach over and take his hand. "You were willing to put in the effort to save your relationship, and that shows you care."

But he merely shrugs. "Seems like a waste when they were busy cheating on me."

"That's not your fault, and it's not a waste. The love that you show the world is never a waste." There's a flood of emotions running through you, you belatedly realize—you're clutching the glass so tightly in your free hand that you begin to fear it might crack. It's directed at Mingyu's ex, at the thought that someone would hurt him like that when he's done nothing but fight for their relationship.

"It's kind of ironic now that I think about it," he continues. "Right before I found out they were cheating, I went to a psychic and got a reading done on the relationship. Apparently the reading said everything would be fine, and I just stupidly believed it."

"Mingyu... is that why you don't believe in this stuff anymore?"

He nods.

"I wish I didn't either." You swallow the lump in your throat, letting go of the glass. It's not only the mention of his ex that's making you feel this way, but also the lover from the visions. You want to hate them, to curse at them and at your fate for ripping away what could be a beautiful relationship before it's even within your reach.

But it all makes you want to try harder to prove it to Mingyu. That he's worth more than what his ex had made it seem, and that he doesn't need to be closed off to the idea of love because someone in the future is going to walk into his life and show him exactly that.

"Why?" He squeezes your hand lightly. "What makes you say that?"

"It's also because of an ex."

It was Junhui. Or rather, what you saw in his future. Two years after the start of your relationship and four after the start of your friendship, you'd trusted him enough to tell him about this little fortune telling party trick, and he'd trusted you to take a look at his future. Maybe that's where things went wrong.

Looking back, you aren't surprised that you saw someone else in his future. They appeared so happy together, he made her laugh, and she seemed to fit in all the ways you didn't. But there was no point in waiting for fate to inevitably bring them together while pulling the two of you apart, so you ran—you didn't want to stick around to find out what would happen.

"Wow." Mingyu blinks at you, seemingly unable to speak after your story. "Do you know if they ever met or got together? Your ex and the person you saw in his future."

You shake your head. "Haven't heard anything about him since we broke up."

"And he's the one who's going to be at this party?"

"Yeah. He's one of Minghao's close friends."

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Mingyu drops his gaze as he gently traces circles into your palm with his thumb. "I see why you don't want to believe in that stuff now. Actually, it's kind of funny how it was this fortune telling thing that screwed both of us over."

"Right? I should get Jeonghan to close the shop and we could open a boba store instead or something." You roll your eyes, chuckling at the thought. "Probably makes better money than this ever will."

"That's not a bad idea." Then he sets his glass down and stands, coming to your side to pull you into a hug. "But Y/N, don't beat yourself up for what happened, okay? You didn't know what you would see, and you have no control over it."

"I guess."

"Besides, I'll be such a good date that you won't even notice him the entire night." Mingyu releases you and steps back, smile turning shy as he holds out a hand. "Shall we?"

"I have to warn you that I'm not great at dancing," you mutter, taking his hand anyway and letting him guide you towards the space in the living room. "Don't hold me accountable for any injuries you might sustain."

When you put your hands on his shoulders, you can feel yourself tense up—your body is awkward, and your arms are too stiff as if not wanting to rest your weight on him. But when you hear a bubble of laughter and see the way Mingyu looks at you so fondly, you feel the same pull as you'd felt at the market. The pull that makes you want to relax and sink into the warmth of his body.

His touch is gentle when he places his hands on your waist, all too carefully and delicately. It makes you wonder if it's even possible that those are the same hands that his ex had willingly let go of, and if those light steps that he takes when swaying to the music are the same footsteps that will walk into the life of the lover in the visions. You wonder if this Mingyu, glancing back at you so tenderly, is the same as the one that will forget about you as soon as this moment is over.

But most of all, you wonder if the you that had originally agreed to do this is the same as the you whose heart beats faster and faster when he meets your gaze now. If the you who only wanted a date, any date for the party, could possibly be the same as the you who now finds yourself wanting to lean into his touch, wanting him to want you.

"You okay?" he murmurs, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Yeah. Perfect."

Mingyu breaks into a soft smile. "You know, I've always wondered what you keep thinking about. When you get lost in that world in your head, what do you see? What do you dream about?" 

"It's different every time." You try to ignore the way your palms feel all too hot against his shoulders. "But these days... it's you."

You don't tell him that it's also getting to know him, falling for him, and imagining how you should be the one doing all those things with him like in the reading. It's picturing a love that flourishes ever so slowly, one that silently rests between the two of you, growing steadily until a day when it becomes the only thing you notice.

And though you leave all that out, your answer seems to be enough for him.

"Me?"

"Yeah," you say softly. "Whatever happened in the past—I really hope it doesn't keep you from experiencing the kind of relationship you deserve. You're not hard to love, Mingyu." Just a brief moment of hesitation before you admit, "Not at all."

Your words feed the twinkle of hope in his eyes as well as the one that seems to have been blossoming in your own heart for a while now. Maybe you can finally admit it; this would be the last time you see him, so maybe it wouldn't matter what happens tonight.

The thoughts swarming your mind are soon forgotten though. Mingyu pulls back slightly to gaze at you with a bright grin that sends your heart back into the frenzy it never recovered from. And a moment later, when his lips are on yours, the dancing, the music, and the entire scene are long forgotten in the background.

This time you let yourself believe that it's real.

You fall deeper into the world where you're the lover from the visions, a world that contains just the two of you. And this time you aren't afraid to kiss him back like you want him because you do. You pull him close until your bodies are inseparable, and you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the heat of his mouth and the burns of his touch. You let yourself want, as your back hits the wall and you're trapped between it and the weight of Mingyu's body pressing against you, and you let yourself take, let your hands trace over the defined lines of his muscles, the smoothness of his skin, and the softness of his hair.

You kiss until you're breathless, until your knees are weak and you're sinking once again. Until his little breaths come out in fuller moans, and hands are wandering into dangerous territory.

"Is this how it happens?" Mingyu whispers, gaze dropping as he leans in to press his forehead against yours. "Is this how we fall for each other?"

No, you immediately think, not at all. The apartment is dim with only the small lamps at the sides of the room and the candles lining the table as the only source of light. The music, despite being slow and romantic, feels much too loud for some reason. It feels forced. And the way you manage to step on his toes on all the wrong beats surely can't be the right path to falling in love.

But maybe you're not afraid to admit it anymore.

"Yeah," you say instead, "it is."

Mingyu eyes snap to yours, and what you find in them makes you want to repeat your answer again and again. You're not sure why he would be hoping for this answer or why he would be satisfied if his own creation were to match perfectly with the one that you'd seen. Even more uncertain is why he would choose that particular set of words to say. But none of it matters when his lips are back on yours, writing an answer of their own.

And for one night, you let yourself be Mingyu's lover from the visions.

One thing becomes painfully clear after that—you cannot be seeing Mingyu ever again. Not even for one last party date.

On the surface, you know that your job is done. You showed him all of the moments that are supposed to happen in his future, and you upheld your end of the deal. But the truth is that every time you were with him, it became difficult to remember that you're not the lover from the reading, and every time you talked to him, you found yourself wanting more and more to be that person.

Your plan to avoid him doesn't go as expected though, for he keeps texting you. He sounds normal, continuing to send memes and share posts like he's been doing for the past while. And when he asks you for a movie date the following weekend, he acts as if the past three meetups were exactly that—dates. It's like it never occurred to him that you were there only to show him how everything happens, and not to actually date him. Though now, you're no longer sure if that's true.

So you say you're busy, you limit your texts to once per day, and you don't pick up when he calls. You follow the textbook formula for ghosting for days to the point where Soonyoung hides your buzzing phone under the couch cushion while spewing threats about throwing it out the window, and even Jeonghan's sighing at you tiredly, telling you to call Mingyu back.

You give in eventually. You call him back and schedule a meetup, and now you find yourself sitting at a cafe with him across from you.

"Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet with me. This won't take long." There is no smile on his face this time, and you realize that it might really be the first time seeing him like this—eyes devoid of emotion, face a neutral mask. It reminds you of the first time you met him at the shop, when he was spiraling into a hopeless void, but perhaps even worse.

You nod slightly in acknowledgement, trying to hide the way your heart sinks at his words. They are something you should be relieved to hear, but you know you're still clinging onto the inkling of hope that you can go back to pretending the two of you mean something to each other.

"Have you been doing okay?"

"Just busy," you repeat the same kind of boring answers from your texts. "You?"

"Yeah," Mingyu says slowly, dragging out the word. Then he takes a deep breath. "Are you avoiding me?"

Yes. "I didn't really see any reason we should stay in touch." A partial lie. It barely makes it out of your mouth.

"Are you for real? Y/N, where is this coming from?"

"I did what I said I'd do." The mask on your face was threatening to crack, especially after seeing the flash of pain in his eyes. "I showed you all of the scenes I saw in the reading. What more is there?"

"I—well, yeah." He frowns. "That might be what we initially agreed, but you can't deny that we had something special. There is no way you didn't feel anything when we were together."

You merely shrug and try your best to harden your eyes instead of giving in to the tears that threaten to spill. Because how can you tell him the truth? How can you give him hope just to crush it with the reality of your doomed fate?

"So—so what, all of it was just pretend? The things you said—you lied, didn't you? When you said I'm not hard to love..." He looks away, biting his lip. "I should've known."

"Hey, no. Everything I said was true, but this has nothing to do with that."

"Did you want to do this at all or were you doing it out of pity? Did you hate every moment of it?"

"Mingyu, stop. Okay, you're right. Let's say I did feel something and that I do like you. But does any of it matter? You're forgetting that I'm not the one in your future. You might not believe in this stuff, but my readings have never been wrong before." You can't do it anymore; it's too hard hiding it. Everything comes tumbling out all at once when he looks so broken. "You're going to meet them someday, and you're going to love them. Whoever they are. It just won't be me."

His jaw goes slack, mouth opening but nothing coming out. It's as if he finally realizes the truth that both of you had forgotten along the way.

"Oh and also," you say, clenching your fists at this final difficult lie you have to tell. "You don't have to hold your end of the agreement. I'm not going to the party anymore."

You know that what you said today would definitely change things since people tend to be averse to anything that goes against what they believe to be their fate. So when you get up from the table and leave, you know that Mingyu won't be chasing after you.  

You're right.

Mingyu stops texting you.

It should be a good thing; now you would both return to your normal lives and pretend like this entire thing never happened. But even though you know all this, there is still something weighing you down. It weighs down each step you take, becoming a salient presence that you can't seem to wrap your mind around.

And despite knowing that your relationship with him was only temporary, that you would be no more than a filler until the person in his future arrives, you still look over at your phone in the hopes that maybe the notification would be from Mingyu. You can't help but want him to still want you.

"You're in your head again, you know," Soonyoung jabs you in the arm, dragging you away from the thoughts and back to where you're seated in your living room. "Can't you think more quietly?"

"Can't you shut up for once?"

"See? I told you he was an asshole!" He flicks a piece of popcorn over at you, hitting you perfectly on the head. "I told you that he was all kinds of bad news. Didn't I say you were too nice for your own good? I knew something like this would happen."

"You said," you roll your eyes at him, throwing the piece of popcorn back, "that he might try to kidnap me. And to stop being so nice to hot people—no, I'm not making an exception for you."

"He really said that last part?" Wonwoo asks incredulously.

You nod. Soonyoung shakes his head.

Wonwoo clicks his tongue at his boyfriend and sighs with disbelief. "So about this fate thing. I know you believe you're not the one in Mingyu's future, but do you think a relationship with him is something worth pursuing regardless?"

"Why would it be worth pursuing if I know it'll just end?"

"Well, how do you know that for sure?" Wonwoo puts a hand on your shoulder and pats you comfortingly. He shakes his head a little. "Y/N, maybe you weren't meant to see his partner's face. Look at the rest of us—we don't have your abilities and we all go through it blindly. I started dating Soonyoung because I liked him, and not because I knew that he was the one who would be appearing in my future."

"But—" you start, and then stop. It takes a few replays of his words to let their meaning sink into your head.

"Hey," he continues, "if you think this is something worth going for—and by the way you've been moping around, it sure seems that way—then you should talk to him. See what he thinks."

Maybe Wonwoo is right, and part of you really wants to believe him, but you can't help but think that you should be using the information you have to your advantage. Surely, your ability has to be a blessing at some point, right? Isn't it a good thing to have put an end to your relationship with Mingyu now so that it wouldn't hurt even more later?

"You never know what could happen in the future." It's as if Wonwoo can hear your thoughts. "Maybe the future can change, or maybe the person in the reading really is you. There may be other people who can fit what you saw but that doesn't discount the possibility that it might be you."

"Yeah, yeah. All this talk is nice but that doesn't mean that Mingyu isn't just an asshole who's playing with you," Soonyoung stuffs a handful of popcorn in his boyfriend's mouth and turns to you with a serious look. "You need to think this through, okay? Do you really like him or do you just like the attention he gives you?"

"Y/N can't possibly fall for someone that easily, right?" comes out muffled from where Wonwoo is still trying to chew through the popcorn. He raises a brow at you.

"You'd be surprised." Soonyoung rolls his eyes then turns back to you. "Do you really like him or do you just like kissing him?"

You feel the full force of their scrutiny when Wonwoo also peers closely at you, searching your face for answers. Maybe the heat on your cheeks is enough to provide one.

"Do you really like him, or do you just enjoy fixing broken people?"

"Um—"

"Do you really like him or is he just hot?"

Wonwoo snorts. "By that standard, I'm quite surprised that Y/N never had a crush on you."

"They did—" Soonyoung quickly stops himself, but it's too late. Wonwoo's judging eyes are already on you, making you slowly sink into the couch and hoping you can disappear.

Not going to the party was a lie that you told Mingyu—an excuse so that you would have no reason to ever see him again. However, the problem is that scrapping the agreement hasn't only left you with a broken heart, but it also brought you back to square one: you still do not have a plus one for Minghao's party.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad though, or at least that's what you tell yourself.

From the outside, Minghao's house looks massive. He has fancy lights installed at every corner, lighting up the exterior walls every couple of feet, and giant windows through which you can already see people mingling about. Wonwoo pulls into the driveway slowly and turns back to give you a worried glance just before the three of you step out.

The interior of the house is just as impressive. A chandelier hangs in the front foyer, and symmetric spiral staircases spread off to either side. Minghao stands near the front, a drink in hand, and his shy smile is plastered all over his face as he greets everyone that walks in. He greets you with a hug.

"Congrats on your engagement," you say, taking in his new look while trying not to glance around the room. His hair is a bit longer than what he had back in college, and you don't recall ever seeing him wear anything remotely formal back then.

"Y/N, how long has it been?"

"Considering the last time I saw you was when you were single?" you laugh. "Yeah, it's been a while."

"It's good to see you again," Minghao grins and then goes to peer behind you. "Oh, is your boyfriend here too?"

"Um, he wasn't feeling very well so..." A lame excuse but it's the best you could come up with at the moment. "He couldn't make it."

"That's okay," Minghao's face falls for the briefest second before it lights up again. "Oh, you even brought the Soonyoung? What a rare sight." And then he goes off to wrap Soonyoung and Wonwoo in a big hug before dragging them off into the living room. At least he wouldn't be the one questioning you about your non-existent fake boyfriend tonight, though Minghao isn't who you should be worrying about.

You follow along, sticking to the walls in the hopes you'd be just as invisible as wallpaper. Even without seeing Junhui here, this is what you fear the most—being amongst your college crowd would bring back feelings you haven't touched in years. Feelings that you're not sure you want to ever unpack. But soon it gets a little easier when Minghao pulls you with him to greet everyone around the room, and so you catch up with Vernon and Seungkwan, and then later, you say hi to Chan and Jihoon.

It isn't until you reach the kitchen when you finally spot him. Junhui has his back turned to you, helping with preparations, and beside him, Seokmin greets you silently with a nod as your eyes meet. You smile at him, thankful that he's not alerting everyone of your presence especially when you know just how loud he can be.

Just before you turn to leave and make your escape, you see her. From far away, she's another face in the crowd, though you can feel a spark of familiarity as if you've seen her somewhere before. Perhaps in one of the readings that you've done over the years for clients? You've read somewhere that the brain never forgets faces, after all.

She greets you and then heads over to the kitchen.

"Hey, Junhui, right? It's so nice to finally meet you," she says, holding out a hand. Her voice seems just as familiar as her face, and now you're sure you've seen her before. "I'm Minghao's cousin."

When Junhui takes her hand, she smiles. It's a full smile that reveals her teeth, and her eyes disappear, and—

The drink you're holding falls to the floor.

It all rushes back to you. The reason why she's so familiar is because you've seen her in the scenes of the fateful reading you did years ago. You've seen her on an amusement park ride, with one hand in the air and the other in Junhui's. On a dancefloor at a wedding—that you now assume to be Minghao's—with arms wrapped around him and later, lips against his. And then there was this very moment where their handshake was interrupted by a glass of wine hitting the floor.

This is the moment they would meet. The one that you've been running from all those years ago, the one that would start everything between them.

This is how it happens.

"Are you okay?" She comes rushing to your side without missing a beat, paper towels in her hands. "Be careful of the glass."

You're frozen on the spot, unable to feel bad about dropping the glass and unable to help clean it up. Unable to feel anything except for the one thought that flashes through your mind: you have to get out of there as fast as you can.

Everything is a blur after that. Somehow your feet get moving, slowly at first and then quickly after that, and you hear your name being called a few times as you head to the door, but you don't stop until you're outside and halfway down the steps.

Outside it's quieter and the air is cooler, and it's enough to slow down the thoughts running through your head. You end up sitting on the steps and leaning against the cold metal of the railing in the hopes that it might numb your feelings.

"Y/N? You okay?" a voice mumbles above your ear. It's familiar for a different reason this time, and you look up to see the person you least expected but wanted the most. Mingyu steps out of the house and closes the door behind him, glancing at you with an unreadable expression. You hadn't seen him inside, but he must've arrived sometime after you—too late to be your date, and too early to miss your embarrassing moment.

"Mingyu? Why are you here? I told you I wasn't going to the party."

"I hate to break it to you, but it wasn't exactly a believable lie." He gives a weak smile then sits down beside you on the steps. "I wanted to make sure you'd be okay."

"I really should've stayed home. I knew this would be a bad idea but—" You quickly turn away to get rid of the tear that slips out.

"Hey, Y/N. Talk to me. What's wrong?" Mingyu takes off his jacket and wraps it around you, and then gently moves you until you're leaning against him, buried in the crook of his shoulder. "Was she who you saw in his future?"

"Yeah, but it's—it's not just that. This was the moment that I saw in his reading. This is how they meet."

He tenses slightly. "This was in your reading? That's tough. Y/N, I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry, I should've gotten here earlier to be here with you from the start like we planned."

"It's okay, it's not your fault. But Mingyu, what have I done? I broke up with him thinking that he would leave me for her one day, so I didn't want to find out if and when they would meet." You have to swallow the sob in your throat. "I've always held onto the hope that it would be wrong. But now, I got to witness it anyway, right in front of me."

"Do you regret your decision?"

"No." You shake your head. "Well, I don't know. I'm over him but I just—I hate it so much. I hate feeling like I'm helpless and unable to do anything about fate."

A silence stretches out between the two of you with only the music from the house and the distant rumble of cars filling the night. It hasn't been long since he sat down beside you, but the warmth of his arms around you and the rising and falling of his chest are enough to slowly wipe away the worries from earlier.

"Look, I thought about what you said," Mingyu breaks the silence, pulling away to meet your eyes instead, "and I don't think it changes anything."

You immediately know what he's referring to. "How does it not?"

He takes a deep breath. "You want to know why I don't believe in fortune telling? This is exactly why. I don't like the idea that we are locked into our fates, or that certain things will or won't happen no matter what choices we make."

"What about when you really meet them one day? And inevitably fall for them?"

"I get why you would be afraid of that, Y/N, I really do. But none of that matters. When I say I want to be with you, this is my choice. It doesn't matter who it is that you saw in your reading; I want to choose you and love you on purpose. Not by accident, and not by fate."

You know he's right and Wonwoo was too. This entire time, you've been trying to run away from a fate that you can't escape, and what you saw today only proves that.

But maybe now, it's time to stop running.

"Do you really think that we can change things?"

"We can do anything we want to do." Mingyu nods firmly. Then he takes your hand, squeezing you gently. "But first, let's get out of here?"

"Yeah." You smile for the first time that night and let him lead the way.

A small diner at the corner of the street near your place is what the two of you decide on. When you enter, the first thing you notice is how much it reminds you of the "before" images of that nice restaurant. Half of the diner is dark with the overhead lights flickering once in a while in an attempt to turn on, while the other half is cast in an unpleasant fluorescent light. There are pieces of garbage on the floor that an employee sweeps up as she greets you. In short, the state of it almost makes you want to walk right out.

But instead, you order your food. You sit down at a table towards the darker half of the room as you wait.

Mingyu clears his throat. "You know," he starts, a shy smile on his face, "I can read your palm too."

"What?" That isn't remotely close to anything you might expect him to say. You give him a questioning look as you put your hand on the table, palm up. "Um, sure. Go for it."

He takes your hand and then gently runs his fingers over the lines on your palm, tracing them as he closes his eyes and pretends to envision something the way you do. Soon, your confusion fades into amusement at the effort that he's putting into this. Each of his feather-like touches causes your heart to speed up a little, and you have to try to will your palms not to start sweating because that would not be attractive at all.

"So? What do you see?"

"Shh," he whispers with his eyes firmly shut. "The spirit is still talking."

You use the chance to really glance at him. Not much has changed since the last time you'd seen him, but somehow he looks even better now—perhaps healthier or more radiant, like he's completely healed from the remnants of a broken heart plaguing him before. Maybe even happier. You wonder if what Soonyoung said about you healing broken people is true.

"I saw a lot of things," Mingyu finally says as he opens his eyes, and his lips automatically curl into a smirk when he catches you staring. "First, I saw myself in your future."

"Yeah? What were we doing?"

"We went on a picnic and ended up getting chased by bees," he chuckles. "Then we went to a bookstore but ended up making out between the shelves, but we got kicked out by a tired employee who looked like it wasn't his first time kicking people out for doing that."

You stifle a laugh. "Why does it seem like our dates are always being interrupted?"

"Hmm, there was one where we had some peace, actually. It was when we were skating, and I fell right on my butt. Then you asked if it hurt when I fell for you—well, you tried to say it as a pickup line, but you messed it up." Mingyu pauses for a second, biting his lip like he's almost hesitant. "Instead, you ended up asking me if I've fallen for you."

"And? What did you say?" Your heart speeds up tenfold.

"I said yes, Y/N. I've fallen for you. I think you already knew it by the time I said it, but you just smiled. Then you suddenly fell too, and we laughed about it."

The way he says it with all the confidence in the world tells you that maybe it's okay for you to admit it too, that there's no need to be afraid to confront your feelings like you'd always done before. Now the insecurities that had been plaguing you suddenly fade away, leaving only one thing clear in your head: there would be no more running.

You break into a smile. "Then I said I fell for you too, right?"

"Yeah, you did." It takes a moment for the initial shock on his face to disappear, and when it does, he's smiling so widely that small crinkles appear near his eyes. "And if you want, I can show you how each of these scenes are supposed to happen."

"Okay, sure. Show me."

Mingyu lets out a loud exhale. "That's a relief. For a second I thought you were going to complain about everything the way I did with your reading."

"Hey—see? I'm nicer than you are." You shoot him a glare. "Who even does that?"

"Yeah, I'll admit that wasn't the greatest impression. Maybe we can start over?"

"Well," you pretend to think about it but can't help the smile creeping onto your face. "This is kind of a shitty place for a first date."

"Maybe our first date will be that picnic I saw in my reading then. But without the bees, yeah?"

You nod.

"Oh yeah, have your wounds healed? They didn't leave any scars, did they?" He lifts your hand to examine it carefully before taking your other hand as well, turning both of them over to look for the evidence of your wounds from the fall. Then he simply holds them.

And suddenly, it clicks into place. The small scars you'd seen on the hands in the vision, the dimness of the diner, and the blurred face of the lover. Everything seems to line up so perfectly that it has your head spinning for a moment with deja vu. Had it really been you in the vision?Was the lover not someone with your hairstyle, nor Mingyu's ex, but actually you yourself? And wasn't this moment at the diner—with your hands and the tiny, healing scars on them enveloped by Mingyu's—the first scene in the vision? Maybe this is how it happens. You really hope that this is how it happens.

You don't know whether you should tell him or not, but when you look up and see the small smile dancing on his lips and the sparkle in his eyes, you get the feeling that Mingyu already knows. And whether he's purposely trying to recreate the scene or whether he merely lets it occur, the gesture ignites a sort of warmth in your heart. It fuels the seed of hope that maybe, just maybe, you won't have to say goodbye one day.

It takes a couple of weeks for life to settle down after that. Between working your regular hours at the shop and then coming home to Soonyoung and Wonwoo's invasive questions, you also have to deal with the aftermath of Minghao's party. Which, surprisingly enough, is not as scary as you once might've thought.

Junhui is actually the one who reaches out to you first. He sends a text asking if you're okay after what happened, and you nearly jump at seeing the name flashing across your screen; admittedly, you never did end up deleting his contact info. And with a bit of encouragement from Mingyu, you end up not only texting back but also meeting him for a chat about everything that's happened since college.

He's grown up since you'd last seen him, but otherwise, he's still the same Junhui: quiet, smiley, and laughs easily at the things you say. Most of all, he doesn't resent you for what you did and rather understands. You're not sure if he says this because he's finally met who he's meant to be with, or whether he remembers the scenes at all, but you don't bring it up. You want to save him from going into this new relationship with any expectations, whether that be the failure or the success of it—something you only learned recently. Regardless of what happens, you hope he can be as happy with her as he was in all the scenes of his reading.

The weekend after that, the picnic date that Mingyu jokingly mentioned in his reading finally happens. Well, it's not exactly a picnic date since he switches it up at the last minute and the two of you end up going apple picking instead.

It's a beautiful day—the sun is shining brightly with no clouds to be seen—and it gives you a sense of relief when the past while has been so hectic. Mingyu picks you up at your apartment, and you rush out while ignoring your roommate's terrible advice and continuous questions about what you'd be doing and where you'd be going. Although even after you go downstairs, you're almost sure you can see Soonyoung peering from your seventh-floor balcony; knowing him, he's probably got binoculars out too to watch your every move.

"So what happened to the picnic date that you saw?"

Mingyu shrugs without missing a beat. "The reading changed, and I just went with what I saw."

"Oh, did it?" You give him a questioning look, but he only smiles back at you and doesn't give away any more information.

The drive to the orchard is slow with the busy traffic of the city around you, and you enjoy your time relaxing in your seat and listening to Mingyu talk about his week. He tells you about his new job and moving to new place and says that Seungcheol is a much better manager than his previous. And when he asks about meeting Soonyoung, you're ready to spill all the details about all of your roommate's silly antics—from avoiding baking because he didn't know to use oven mitts when taking things out of the oven, to setting an eight-hour timer every night in place of an alarm. There was also a time when Wonwoo had unknowingly poured salt into Soonyoung's coffee instead of sugar, and being the considerate boyfriend he is, Soonyoung drank it without so much as a grimace.

They are stories that have gotten old to you, yet Mingyu laughs like they're the funniest thing. The way he turns to you at each red light to simply look at you with a smile is enough to have your heart speeding up and your palms sweating. He takes you in like he's committing each moment to memory. Well, at least until the cars behind you start to honk impatiently when the light turns green.

It turns out that Mingyu does that a lot. During your time at the orchard, you could be saying something as you reach up to grab the apples, and he would just be staring at you as he listens intently.

"What?"

A nonchalant shrug. "Just appreciating the view."

"So tell me," you say, glancing at him up and down, "what's supposed to happen here? What did you see?"

"Hmm, we picked two bushels of apples."

"That's it?"

"Yeah," he confirms enthusiastically. "And they got quite heavy to carry."

"Oh."

"Were you expecting something more? Hmm?" A small smirk rests on his lips when he leans in a little closer. He's so close that you have your lips parted and eyes nearly shut, anticipating the feel of his soft lips on yours. But instead, he pulls back with an apple in his hand. "Found a good one right behind your head over there."

You roll your eyes, turning to leave so he doesn't see the embarrassment on your cheeks.

"Hey, I'm kidding. But if you want me to kiss me, you should just say so." He stops you from leaving, and this time he traps you in place with hands on the branches on either side of you. "I'm all yours, Y/N."

Then he finally closes the distance. You expect it to be like the last time, for hands to wander and for lips to consume you, but this time his lips are barely there. It's almost achingly slow the way he kisses you so tenderly, lighter than you thought possible, like a gentle breath against yours with the taste of apples lingering between you. His hands reach up to caress your jaw as if any more pressure would break this fragile moment, and then your senses are overwhelmed by sweetness. The sweetness of apples, the sweetness of Mingyu's lips and the warmth of his mouth, and the sweetness of the sun against your skin and breeze in your hair and voices floating over from a world away.

When you pull apart and open your eyes again, something about this suddenly triggers a memory. You thought the second scene of Mingyu's reading would take place at the market because the faint taste of apples in it reminded you of the cider at the market. But maybe the answer isn't the market at all, and rather an orchard. And maybe it is this particular moment.

Your heart races a little faster at the thought that it really could be it. You really could be Mingyu's lover from the visions.

"Oh, watch out." He steps aside, pulling you with him to avoid a bee flying by.

"Hey—I thought you said no bees?"

That gets you a laugh as Mingyu takes your hand and tugs you along. "Maybe it's good that it interrupted us."

And you simply smile, brushing off your thoughts and letting yourself enjoy the moment.

"I know you said he's hot, but I didn't expect him to actually," Soonyoung gestures, "be hot."

You turn away from the rink to shoot him a glare. "I am offended."

Initially, you thought Mingyu's idea for turning your skating date into a double date would go terribly. How were you supposed to let him meet the two friends who thought he was a creep? Especially Soonyoung—you were sure he'd make some crude comments that might entirely sabotage your budding relationship. But to your surprise, a charming smile and an offer to help lace up their skates is all it took for Mingyu to have them wrapped around his finger.

Pretty privilege, that's exactly what it is.

"Hey! I wasn't sure if you were serious or if you only found him hot because he gave you attention—" The rest of Soonyoung's words get cut off as he goes to dodge your punch. "Anyway, you're treating him well, right? Are you nicer to him than you are to me? Don't hurt him, okay? Don't break his heart."

"I can't believe you," you snort. "Whose side are you on?"

"I'm saying all of this for your sake, Y/N. We can't have you moping around like you did for the past few weeks."

You turn back to the ice and pretend you didn't hear him at all. Should you be laughing or crying in this situation? While you're glad your friends are getting along with Mingyu, it's all too ironic how a pretty face is all it takes for Soonyoung to go back on his words about not being so nice to hot people.

After Mingyu and Wonwoo finish up their laps around the rink, Mingyu comes back to drag you with him this time. You go, albeit reluctantly. The feeling of falling at the park was still too fresh in your mind, and so you skate with one hand in his while the other is grasping at anything to avoid a hard collision with the ice.

"You're not going to fall." Mingyu raises an eyebrow at you, eyes brimming with amusement. "I was only joking about that."

You glance at him warily. "You said that you would."

"Maybe, but only for you."

He smiles, and despite the anxiety that courses through your veins, you find yourself smiling too. Every step you take with Mingyu squeezing your hand reassuringly, you're able to relax like you're basking in the warmth that radiates off of his happiness, and slowly but steadily, the two of you make it safely around the rink without falling.

By the time you stop to take a break, Soonyoung and Wonwoo are nowhere to be seen. You scan the rink, trying to find the familiar faces amongst the larger afternoon crowd now, but your search is unsuccessful. What you find instead, strangely enough, is that people are suddenly gathering around on the opposite side. The rink seems to quiet down with a silence now lingering in the air as if everyone is waiting with bated breath, and in your curiosity, you pull Mingyu over with you to join the crowd.

And that's when you see it: Wonwoo on one knee, Soonyoung covering his mouth in shock, and a ring resting in the box in Wonwoo's hands. The same thin, silver ring that you've familiarized yourself with from seeing it in Soonyoung's future. This must be the exactmoment you saw.  

Soonyoung smiles brightly when he gives his answer that you're a little too far to hear, though you don't doubt it's a good one judging by the looks on their faces. The crowd erupts into applause and then Wonwoo is tackled to the ice by Soonyoung enveloping him, and two of them are lost in their own world, too busy to notice anything or anyone else.

"And this is how they fall for each other," Mingyu murmurs into your ear. "Guess my reading was wrong—it wasn't us. It's them."

Once the crowd dissipates, the two of you wait for the newly engaged couple by the bench. Soonyoung flashes the ring on his finger before heading to the snack bar, and while later, Wonwoo joins you with an endearing grin on his face.

"Wow, congrats!" You pull him into a hug as soon as he steps off the ice. "But why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you prepare for it, or we could've taken pictures or something."

"That was..." He lets out a loud exhale. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was going to do it over dinner—I had one of those private rooms booked out at the restaurant and all. But the ring fell out of my pocket when I fell on the ice, and well. It landed right in front of him. So," he gives a wry smile, "I didn't really have a choice."

Mingyu pats him on the back reassuringly. "Hey, it's about the simple things. Love doesn't always have to be romantic."

You remember him saying these exact words from your first date at the restaurant but hearing them again now makes you wonder if you had it wrong this entire time. Maybe you've been focusing so much on making your reenactments romantic to match the scenes in the visions that you never realized the scenes are meant to happen anywhere. They're meant to happen in between the normalness of everyday life. They're simple acts of love, just as Mingyu always says.

Later when the four of you are sufficiently warmed up with hot drinks and laughter is in the air, you think you have it figured out. Each of these moments can easily be something that you witness in a reading, but maybe the point isn't to go out searching for them or to run away from them. Maybe it's to make choices that will create a future that you want—on purpose, and not by fate.

"What do you think, Y/N?" Mingyu pulls you out of your thoughts, gently wrapping an arm around your waist.

"What?"

"You can come over tonight," he suggests. "Since Soonyoung will be out all night anyway."

"Wait, are you sure? I don't want to intrude or—"

"Yeah, it's fine. Besides, you haven't seen my new place yet."

Your heart gives a loud thud at the thought of being alone with him again, all too reminded of what happened the last time. But you swallow the nerves away, put on a smile, and agree.

The two of you leave the couple to go to their fancy dinner as fiancés, and afterwards, you find your hand in Mingyu's as you head back to his place.

Right when you step into his apartment, you get the strangest thought that you're relievedto see nothing is set up. There are no fancy candles lining the room this time, no vase of beautiful flowers on the table, and no strings of sparkling lights hanging from above. Mingyu's place looks entirely normal, albeit slightly messier than before since it's clear he hasn't fully unpacked yet.

"Don't judge," he says, quickly going to collect the few pieces of clothing left in the living room while avoiding your gaze. "I just moved in recently."

It's a smaller space than his previous apartment, but much nicer—newer looking and without any cracks at the seams like there were in his previous. As if this were a fresh start for a fully healed heart, one that was ready to love again.

Mingyu cooks a nice dinner and as you try to help out in the kitchen, you start to think that you could really get used to this. Watching him add all the different ingredients and seeing the gears turn in his head, and then when you're seated at the table, feeling the smile lingering on your mouth until the last bite of the first proper meal you've had in a while. You think that maybe this is it.

And a while later, you're settled on the couch to watch a movie though it quickly fades into the background when the warmth of his body is pressed against yours. His lips are soft, mouth sweet from the wine, and all around you is the faint smell of oranges from his bodywash and a hint of citrusy detergent from his clothes clinging to your skin.

It has to be past midnight when the movie comes to an end, with the credits slowly fading out. Mingyu gets up to refill your glass of water and you follow him into the kitchen grab a snack when suddenly a blast of music comes from the other side of the wall. It's noticeably loud at first but is soon turned down into a quiet melody in the background.

Mingyu frowns, pausing to listen to the song. "These walls sure are thin, huh. It's generally been pretty quiet around here until now."

"You could probably Shazam their entire playlist like this," you joke. Or, well, maybe it's not so much of a joke when you feel like looking it up yourself because there is something familiar about the song. You can't quite place it, but it's so familiar that it almost bothers you like an itch you can't scratch.

The corner of his lip twitches. "It's okay, maybe they also have something to celebrate."

You're still thinking about why the song sounds so familiar when Mingyu gently takes your hands and guides them to the back of his neck, and then wraps his arms around your waist to pull you in. And when you look up, everything clicks. The familiar walls and familiar music, the snacks on the counter, the light scent of oranges from the bodywash, and even the clothes that you're wearing—Mingyu's clothes. This is the final scene you saw in your vision. This is how dancing in the kitchen at midnight is supposed to turn out.

"You're not going to step on my toes again, are you?" Mingyu's eyes twinkle with amusement as he slowly starts to move with the music, dragging you with him.

The two of you step and you sway, and it's not quite to the beat of the song. You do end up stepping on him, your knees bump a few times and your foreheads nearly do too. It's every bit as awkward as the first time you did this, and even more so without the blanket of darkness or the pretense of romance.

And yet, you hear the endless bubbles of laughter coming out of your mouth. You see the sparkles in Mingyu's eyes, the bright smiles like he can't contain his happiness. You feel it in the way you dance together at a rhythm that belongs to no one else but the two of you.

You know it when he leans in, breath but a whisper at your ear as he says, "Thank you for making me believe in love again."

Now you don't have to look into his future to know that all the scenes you'd seen were about you. Now you can picture it—Mingyu looking up from your laced hands on the table and seeing your smile, face no longer out of focus. Pulling away from your kiss in the orchard has you seeing your own gaze, surprised but content. And then there is this very moment when you see yourself in Mingyu's eyes and you just know.

This is how you fall in love.

[itsdeniini]

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SUNGHOON'S TWIN FLAME - A TAROT READING

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🫧‧₊˚⋅ n ¤ t ə ⋆ : : i am a self-taught tarot reader, and the interpretations i provide are personal. if anyone would like to share their own insights, i would be more than happy to hear them! please be kind <3

★2: in this reading, I will be talking about a person from the future and how their relationship will progress at the moment when they are already know each other; that's the twin flame that he's yet to meet. 👾

GENERAL READING ︻╦╤─

The Sun, The Emperor, The Star, Queen of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, The Chariot, The Tower, The High Priestess

There's an unmistakably regal air to this person. Yes, that's the first thing that came to mind, because she's literally exuding the vibes of a royalty. A 𖤓 Leo perhaps? She's carrying herself as a noble with dignity, and it's not only this but also the fact that she's conceited. Leos have a reputation for being conceited, but let's think AGAIN 🤓☝️ Leos do feel important, but it's usually because they want to change the world in some way to make it a better place. In our case, our twin flame is motivated by affection for people and often has big dreams and plans to make people happy. She is hard-working. After all, she is attracted to the good things in life and knows she has to work to get them, something she is doing at the moment. She most surely works in entertainment, just as Sunghoon, but in a different direction. She's quite emotive, so I bet she's an actress or a presenter.

But one thing about her is that she was not always a go-getter typa girl. In those past ~2-3 years she was in a languid mood that put her career under some sort of limitation. She used to sleep in, laze around, and luxuriate for long periods of time. However, this year she seems to have pulled herself together and gotten to work, and she's doing it with new determination and intensity. She's still early in her career, so I can suppose she's 20–23 years old. She tends to blow up and create herself a new image, and the fact that she's versatile enough to do that will help her thrive. Now (before too, I think) she is staring in something thriller-like with a lot of action, and she likes this genre so much. I got reminded of Sunghoon's acting in the UNTOLD Concept Cinema and his gun scene, and with that, I mean that she's having similar roles where she's the mean girl that has bad blood with the antagonist. And she fits in SO GOOD, her acting agenda is 🤌... Investigation drama? Yes. Something post-apocalyptic? Yes. Detective? Mhm! She also has experience playing in romance/teen romance movies/television series, so again, she must be extremely driven to stare in as many movies this year and get that bag in.

The worst thing you can do to her is accuse miss twin flame of bad intentions. Displaying behavior that makes her think you don't appreciate her runs a close second! She might become mighty hurt and pouty when others (especially her lover, so take notes Sunghoon ✍️) don't see her for the noble intentions she has.

And something I wanted to point out! In my Could Sunghoon date a foreigner post, the anon mentioned that they see Sunghoon as a Korean guy with traditional views on life, and as I said, he's not that traditional, at least in comparison to THIS young lady who has fixed views and may also appear conservative. She'll hold on to situations and people for a very long time before giving up completely, while Sunghoon is more of a "Meh, I'm done with A, B, and C... with all of them!"

And just as I thought, she's both idealistic and perfectionist, just like Sunghoon! She has a very noble inner code that she answers to. Although she appears rather confident on the surface, she can also be humble. She is the first to blame herself when something goes wrong. Once again, it's her self-importance at work, and this characteristic works in unexpected ways. Instead of being the conceited, self-absorbed show-offs of reputation, she can be very self-aware, self-conscious, and, yes, even humble.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡ So that's what we have so far...

Positive traits: She is masterful, brave, and competitive; she likes authority; and she aspires toward an ideal. She likes to give advice. She is honest, frank, loyal, open, and sincere. Possible issues: pride, vanity, arrogance, presumption, and disdain for others.

And from the Sun we go to the Moon... ☾𖤓

The Fool, The Knight of Wands, The Wheel of Fortune, The Page of Swords, 8 of Wands, Temperance, 3 of Cups, 7 of Swords

Sunghoon's ☾ is in Aquarius, and since they're quite similar, I can presume that it's the same thing for her, but I'm more inclined towards her being a Sagittarius ☾. ☾ Sagittarians, just like ☾ Aquarians, need personal freedom and space. She is extraordinarily happy and easygoing, as long as she doesn't feel caged in or cooped up. Also, Sagittarians have a simultaneous need for activity. Meeting new people, going out in the world, or traveling are all important to their well-being. She loves open spaces and, in her house, a roomy and bright environment. Eh, this girlie 😭 She easily forgets appointments or veers from her schedules, a bit irresponsible, hehe~ However, it is hard to stay angry at her for that! She is just too cheerful and upbeat while working with the crew, and her optimism is catchy. So outdoorsy! At the very least, she has a great love for friendly competition. When she gets tough, she gets moving. She doesn't like to be caught up in routine for too long, and she needs frequent escapes. She's such a dreamer as well <3 There's a blind faith that is admirable; she believes that everything will ultimately work out. She is not much for making detailed plans; she prefers to wing it and deal with whatever comes her way when it comes. She's very adaptable and generally on the go.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡ So what do we have now...

Positive traits: May like to throw herself into the unknown and into adventure; she is agile, tough, and enthusiastic. Attracted to long trips or discovering the unknown, she has a need for escape or flight and room for spontaneity. Possible issues: May take great risks by throwing herself into the unknown. Audacious, bold, and rebellious. Unable to stay in one place, she was always ready to risk everything to achieve her goal.

PERSONAL STYLE ! >.<

1. Vibrant maxi dress with bold patterns, statement earrings, comfortable sandals.

2. Tailored bright-colored blazer, casual tee, distressed jeans, standout necklace.

3. Jumpsuit, bangles, stylish yet comfortable shoes.

[ 𖹭 approximative representation ↗ and face card ⁀➴ˎˊ˗ ]

[amadeusgame]

January Devlog:

What's up gamers, here is this month's update!

This month has been really good for development despite the fact that I spent the last week bedridden from COVID. Prior to that I was making huge progress towards full game completion now that I'm happy with where the demo is at. I feel strongly oriented in the right direction.

Major accomplishments:

Built the next 2 point-and-click scenes

Discovered & fixed a bunch of bugs (edge cases not present in the demo)

New job that will hopefully be a good long-term fit to support work on Amadeus

Perhaps most importantly: started reworking how I manage this project.

A little more on some of these points follows, and some announcements/communications updates at the very end!

TL;DR: I've figured out how to set goals for myself in a way that motivates me without getting in my own way. Also, expect fewer miscellaneous posts, because I'm going to focus more on development than marketing until the game is nearly complete.

(Monthly devlogs will stay. They keep me accountable and motivated; I enjoy looking back on what I've done each month.)

Development Progress & Bug Fixes

Dartmaure now has a downtown you can actually walk around in! ...See if you can spot the placeholder asset.

It was while coding the interaction with said placeholder that I found one of many new bugs—this one to do with having the first speaking sprite in a conversation on the right instead of the left. This scene also had issues with loading a save that has to handle a screen transition. Neither of these were problems in the demo because the demo had neither initial speakers on the right, nor save progression flags that involved a screen transition.

Good news is these known problems have been addressed now, and it's all working properly!

I expect I'll discover more things that need fixing as I continue to build out further scenes. This month has taught me that every new scene contains potential new untested edge cases. That said, I've kind of impressed myself with how easily I seem to be fixing new bugs.

I made my life difficult by coding all of the game's mechanics myself, but because of that I am intimately familiar with how it works (and where I've applied band-aids). It also turns out that building out this janky engine for 2 years has made me much better at Unity C#! By the time I finish I might almost be competent at it.

I've already caught myself having some goalpost-moving thoughts ("what if I worked on controller support?" - my useless brain) but so far I've successfully pushed them aside and focused on finishing what I've already laid the foundation to build. I would love to make controller support a reality for Episode 2; maybe I'll add an Episode 1 patch for that once it's built. Maybe. But I'm very firm that any new functionality is a matter for the future, after Episode 1's initial release.

Now that I've finalized the core mechanics for Episode 1, building two scenes went pretty smoothly. I was unable to finish more than that due to losing over a week from COVID... but having two more already feels really good.

I'll be working on building the next ones in February. We'll see how that goes in the next devlog!

On Micromanaging

I've started rethinking how I manage this project, because with the new job I will have less free time and energy than I did before. I do still think that I can make it happen. The new job will give me free mornings (it's an afternoon shift) and a 3-day weekend (it's a 4-day work week) along with benefits, and it's work I hope to find personally fulfilling. The arrangement will be more stable long-term than what I was doing last year.

However, I will be losing about 12 hours of personal time a week.

Consistently carving out time for Amadeus without burning out on this new schedule is going to require active and thoughtful adjustment.

The truth is that for the past several months, I have been micromanaging myself too much. Micromanaging can help in the final stages of development: in that case, the reward of meeting a major benchmark is enough to justify the stress getting there. But now that I am back in a "long to-do list" phase of development, it's simply counterproductive. If I'm not motivated on the overly specific task(s) I've assigned myself, then I either don't do anything, or I do the "wrong" thing instead and don't feel rewarded for what I did accomplish.

So, for the next couple months—while getting the game closer to completion, but not yet in the "game built, now for final polish" stage—I'm moving to a different strategy. I've set big-picture goals to aim for for each month, but on any specific day, I simply block out an hour and a half and say "this is Amadeus Time." January's goal was to get the next 4* scenes fully built out. Every day, I just opened up the next unfinished scene and worked on it until the clock said I was done.

Those scenes got done fast.

*(Note: the 4 scene goal was way too optimistic; without COVID, I still think I would have only been able to do 3. I'll be adjusting my timeline to better reflect this more reasonable expectation.)

It's kind of nuts how much I can get done in an hour and a half if I just let myself work instead of worrying about what I'm working on, keeping in mind the big-picture monthly goals as a general directional compass. The removed stress of whether or not I am accomplishing the specific things I am "supposed" to accomplish has freed so much mental space for me to just work on stuff, and the only box I have to check off for the day is a box that says "did today's Amadeus Time."

February's goals are similar to January's: get the next handful of scenes built out. I'm aiming for 3 more, with the caveat that I may be set back by adjusting to the new job. This "build the next 3-ish scenes" monthly format will be the norm until the full and complete game is technically playable and functionally all-in.

Then, it will be time for final assets, polish, playtesting, script revisions, finding a billion bugs, fixing those and finding some more bugs, marketing, more marketing, more marketing, and shipping this baby!

Comms Updates

Speaking of marketing~ there is something pretty cool coming up soon. Look out for a bonus announcement around the end of February!

Also speaking of marketing, because I am about to have less free time after the job switch, you will likely be hearing less from me outside of these monthly devlogs and the occasional bonus announcement. In fact, you might have already noticed a drop in regularity on the Tumblr blog posts and other social media.

("What Tumblr blog," you ask? You probably aren't asking that, because this snippet was written for the itch.io version of this update. But it's a good reminder that all Amadeus resources can be found at linktr.ee/amadeusgame!)

(The most important feature of the Tumblr blog is that it has a fanart page.)

This drop in activity is because, given the choice between spending my time working on the game or spending my time posting about it, I'd rather work on it. I can direct more energy to marketing once the game is done or close to it. I am very aware of how valuable spare time is, and I want to prioritize mine according to what matters to me.

This does not mean that I'm disappearing off of the internet—I will make posts in all of the relevant spaces when there are specific items I'd like to share. I will continue to put out these monthly devlogs with major updates. It's just keeping up with the more regular, smaller stuff that is no longer a priority.

So please don't take a lack of consistent posting to mean the game isn't being worked on. It's the opposite! I'm prioritizing working on it over everything else until the game is near complete.

If you'd like to stay somewhat connected in the meantime, you are welcome and encouraged to join our tiny Discord server or send an ask on the Tumblr blog. If you have any questions about how the game is coming along, please reach out! I check these often and would love to hear from you. This mini-announcement is just meant to be reassurance that less posting is a good thing, for where I am currently at. I'm spending my time and energy wisely.

Finishing this game is the most important thing to me in the world. I will see it through.

Thank you for your trust and continued interest!

Other Gaming News

Note for indie developers: I cannot overstate the importance of playing some stupid video games every now and then. Earlier this month I played through Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) and somehow that directly translated to getting 800% more Amadeus work done after the fact. That game is a masterpiece.

This month I also had the incredible opportunity to record cello for the music in ENDYSIS's collaborative fairy tale VN, Trail of Stars. The game came out absolutely stunning. Please check it out!

[shootforthestars-28]

How we are with this season finale of Chicago pd...

What the future hold??

I have *so* many feelings post-finale! 😅

My thoughts are below the cut so, for those of you who haven't seen it yet, there are spoilers below.

Firstly, I'm truly gutted that we're losing Tracy from the cast but at least she got a better, more believable send-off than Jesse did. I still can't get my head around how they thought it was appropriate to have Jay simply up and leave Hailey after everything they had been through up until that point. It really just doesn't sit right with me!

Secondly, why the fuck was Chapman the one to sidle up to his gurney before he got loaded into the back of the ambulance?! I swear to God, if she becomes his love interest in Season 12, I'm rioting! 😅 While I do agree that perhaps the events of the finale might be the start of Hank opening up to someone, I really don't think it can be her. The dynamic of him being in a meaningful relationship with someone who, professionally, would go over his head at the drop of a hat, I don't think would work. He values trust and loyalty too much to let that happen.

Speaking of trust and loyalty...Alvin!! 🥹 How I loved seeing those to share the screen once more. Watching that scene, I found myself feeling really nostalgic for the older seasons when we got to see a more comedic Hank... mainly because it was Alvin with whom he shared those moments with. But this was an excellent little addition to the episode that was well written, well directed and superbly portrayed.

I thought the father/daughter arc was a sweet angle to take on Hailey's departure, albeit very similar to that of Erin's. I'm pleased to see that the door for both Jay and Hailey is very much open but it was evident to see that it wasn't Hank and Hailey on screen in the last few moments of the episode - that was very much Jason and Tracy.

Upton fans have been really vocal on socials this year on how afraid Tracy is of Jason and how intimidating he is on set when the evidence to the contrary is so overwhelming it's almost amusing! There is clearly a lot of love, respect and affection between all of the cast members which is seen in the plethora of behind the scenes photos and videos we get from the cast and crew. Having visited the set a few times myself, I can verify that first hand.

I have watched and re-watched the video posted on social media of Jason 'yelling' and 'swearing' at Director Jesse on set when, in actual fact, they were running through a scene and Jason asks Jesse "why are all the fucking cameras over here?". Jesse replies and Jason says "oh, okay" and runs the scene again. Anyone who knows even the smallest amount about Jason knows that he's a swearer. I'm not saying that's the right or wrong way to behave but after spending nigh-on a decade around him, from what I can see, neither Tracy nor Jesse seem to be phased at all.

Overall, I think it was a fitting way to end the season.

In terms of what's next, well the unit is now down to four so I suspect we're going to need to more hands on deck! Whether Petrovic will decide to stay or not, I'm not sure but one thing we definitely need is more Detectives! Hopefully the time has finally come for Officers Burgess, Ruzek and Atwater to finally pass their Detectives exams!

We're also due a Burzek wedding which I'm hoping to God Trudy Platt is heavily involved in!

And I'd love to see a happier Hank. With all the loss he's experienced, I'm hoping he can find something/ someone that makes fighting to live in the finale worthwhile... just as long as it's not Chapman 😂 He needs a Det. Katherine Meadows in his life 😉

I could go on forever but thank you for asking my opinion 💛

[mercysought]

how about a kiss? — and if i said also tal for maxima..

   "that's real nice, honey."

Maxima smiles, red lips parting to show a row of pearly white teeth. What was? Her image upon the large mirror, the half pulled shirt to expose her clavicles or the pearl that hang just in front of it where a choker might find itself in the near future. It is the first time that she looks away from the mirror; the jewelry that she was already planning with the pearls that Natalin had shown her would be something that would have made anyone with a proper eye for the worth of investments pay attention. And by others, well, it would simply be seen as another frivolity - that too played a part.

The Magister allows the auburn hair to fall, her long fingers allowing the waves to fully cover her shoulders. The other hand, the one that held the pearl, remained in place. Her attention returning once more to the mirror as she moves it now up to her forehead: perhaps a diadem, instead?

   "Truly?" Maxima asks with a small smile. Deciding against the diadem she places it back down on the small cushion in which she had been presented the pearl in. If there was one thing that she could not deny: each time that she visited Antiva she hardly felt that the treatment was lacking in any way.

Natalin moves closer, lowering herself to appear beside her in the mirror. Maxima can hear her steps only because the other allows it, she is sure. As part of the unspoken agreement, the magister does not lift her eyes, choosing instead to set aside the pearls that she would be taking back with her. The underlayer that was kept under the heavier white robes - now discarded over one of the many couches in the Nero estate - was of a softer fabric. Easier to slip as it did from over her left shoulder.

Frankly, really nice was hardly fitting at the scene before them, and perhaps that too was part of this game. There were many things that were really nice. Nero's house was really nice, the silks she wore were really nice, the food was really nice. Even the pearls, beautiful as they were, perfect as they had been while picked by Natalin's very expert hands and cared for with the single intent of being shown to her - were very nice.

Maxima Aurum was not really nice, Maxima Aurum was transcendent.

   "How about a kiss?" Maxima lifts her green eyes, finding the other's frame just behind her. Like a shadow behind Maxima and watching her just as intently. The magister cannot see the other's lips but she can hear it in the question.

Her back straightens and the long, carefully brushed waves fall over her skin covering most of it as her smile grows in the reflection. Turning to face her, Maxima's eyes finally leave their reflections to look upon Natalin, still with wet hair and her exposed neck. Maxima's hands are warm when they press against the soft curve of her neck. The thin golden rings offer little resistance as her nails find the base of the other's head. Her left hand touches her lips, gently turning the other's head.

The lips part softly, easily as Maxima rests her body against Natalin's. It always surprised her how firm it was - unsurprising so, given the woman's training from both her callings. A joke immediately forms in her head and its mirth makes her way to her mouth.

The small death and something about a diver's ability to hold ones breath - alas - not the time. Not the place.

   "No," she hums, her dark eyes on Natalin's lips as her thumb briefly grazes against her sharpened tongue. Biting into her lower lip she keeps herself from pushing further "I don't think so."

There was work to attend, such as finding a pearl that was as transcendent as her that would prompt a better response than real nice.

the banner saga part 1 & midnight cowboy // @st4ysoft @seafo4ms // selectively accepting

[mytimeatsandrockzine]

Because of the handful of followers last night we’ve decided to go ahead and lay out some questions and answers we know might be on some minds.

Q and A :

Is the Zine looking for moderators?

Yes! We have participated as contributors for other zines in the past so we know the work behind it and what generally goes on behind the scenes. However, we’re new to the experience of moderating anything like this. We don’t want to go out asking random people to mod who don’t know us but if people offer up help or sign up to help would love to consider! I think we’re more looking to have people also experienced in zines.

Is the Zine looking for contributors?

For the future, yes! Right now? Ehhhh…

Well, you know how it is. We can’t exactly seek out people who wanna join when we’re looking pretty bare bones (and have been for a minute). But we are super interested in doing this and have already planned for a Portia and Evershine zine as well in order to spread the word on Pathea’s games for the unfamiliar ones and fans of their older games as well! We do plan on opening up sooner rather than later since we’ve obviously delayed it enough and people finding this blog and following means there’s SOME interest.

Will the Zine be published electronically or physically?

We are going to be electronic only! Yes, we understand that it would be so super cool to be able to physically have it in hand, but at this time we don’t know any manufacturers that specialize this and none of us have an experience in selling in shipping! It’s not just that though, we understand safety and privacy issues that come with handing over your information to someone you don’t know as well, so we would rather avoid the whole thing all together and just put it online where everyone and anyone can look at!

Is the Zine going to be for free or purchasable?

The plan is to make it 100% for free online for everyone to look at. We aren’t comfortable with profiting off of an IP which doesn’t belong to us in any way, shape or form, and also strongly believe that art should be accessible. For this reason, we instead would encourage you to donate to any water conservation foundations or charities in your area in the spirit of Sandrock’s message. We’ll try to do our own research as well and compile a list for anyone interested!

Who can contribute to the Zine?

Everyone and anyone whose art can be published electronically! This means artists, writers, cosplayers, crafters, etc (and from all over the world)! Perhaps even video or audio is a possibility since it’s all online? We’d love to hear anyone out with an idea and a dream and see how we can fit it in as well! Although we will be using the google forms as a sort of “screening” we generally don’t plan on rejecting anybody regardless of skill level. Everyone belongs in Sandrock and everyone should have a place in the zine no matter what.

Can people collaborate on a Zine piece?

Of course! We’re gonna try to see how to work this out.

Does the zine have any promotional art or cover art?

Not yet, but that was probably obvious given the fact we don’t even have a banner or icon that isn’t the game’s promotional art, haha. We would like to properly commission someone or have someone genuinely down to do this to make it however, and do have a couple of people in mind (who we totally haven’t just looked at on Streamily or Instagram for ideas) but we’ve gotta work out how we’re gonna go about this.

Can we find the zine on other social media?

Nope. We’re not exactly comfortable migrating the project outside of tumblr, so at this time it’s just us here. Our ask box is always open for communications however! Not sure how DMs work though given this is a side blog, but generally speaking it might be a little better to just use the ask box since if YOU have a question, maybe someone else had it too.

Please also note that having a tumblr is NOT NECESSARY!! This will just be used as the main hub for updates and eventually where we hope to publish this. The google form is what will be used in order for people to sign up for submissions and to submit their final pieces. Again, we would like for this project to be as accessible as possible. This is also why we turned on anonymous asks just in case people without a tumblr have a question (last we checked, you shouldn’t need an account to ask a question, right?)

Is there a discord for the Zine?

Nope! Sorry, we don’t have one. We don’t even know if that will be necessary but if it is then we’d have to figure out how to organize it and such (again, we’ve never exactly moderated a zine project before and that kind of extends to Discord servers)

What is the theme of the Zine?

We’ve brainstormed a lot of ideas! A scrapbook theme, Original characters and their stories, friendship, etc… but were really leaning towards just “What you love about Sandrock”. Be it events, characters, scenes , all that! We want it to just be all about your love of the game and how you wish to express that!

Are you partnered with Pathea?

As awesome as that would be…. No. This is the project made up of people who love the game and want to show it by making a tribute to it, nothing more.

Whew, I think that covered everything! Thanks y’all!

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

I didn't forget your other asks, by the way! I just don't have answers to them yet. But I've been wanting to ask YOU:

How do you determine/decide when spoken dialogue stops and a song starts in musicals? When is the best moment for that? What point in a story--not to mention a specific scene? How do you know?

Good question! (Wow, what an honor to answer one of your asks for once! Thanks!) A musical with a book (in other words, one that isn’t sung-through) is structured differently from a play. A play keeps everyone talking almost all the time, regardless of particular moments of strong emotion, whereas a musical with a book builds emotion up in the spoken dialogue and puts the rest into a song. Typically, your song is going to give your audience insight into a character’s thoughts in a way that doesn’t work as well if you have him or her speak or act out something silently. This has to do with how much the audience already knows about the character based on his or her interactions with other characters. Characters in plays tend to say everything out loud in their interactions with other characters or in asides—obviously not in the sense that they outright state their emotions in a linear cause-effect format, but in the sense that their reactions and responses to the topics of conversation reflect their inner thoughts rather reliably. Even when they lie, audience members usually have the benefit of knowing it's a lie and can pick up on how that lie and its use in conversation reflect things about the character as a whole. Characters in musicals aren’t as forthright, not even the main characters. When this “silence”—perhaps a better term is “obscurity”—leaves us with gaps in characterization or motivation, musical writers like to put songs there to fill in the gaps! Aside from filling in gaps in characterization, songs can also serve to dramatize events, provide exposition, be a source of comic relief, and set up future developments, but you’ve got to be discerning so that the musical moments don’t feel gratuitous.

Since I assume that you are not seeking to write a jukebox musical the way I did, pick the musical points in a story based on key dramatic points or points that aren’t the most immediately clear. Aside from these main uses, you can use songs as transitions that foreshadow events to come, as brief lead-ins to a spoken scene that shows off an important development, or as ways to replace a spoken version of a scene that might take too long or be too flat. Soliloquies have largely gone out of style in modern theatre, so a song has taken up the role of pulling back the curtain on a character's inner process—unlike a soliloquy forcing the character to turn to the audience and explain it, a song lets the audience experience it while giving the character some level of privacy. The character is thinking, and you can see it, but it's not like he or she knows you're there and tries to put it in terms you'll understand or judge less. Overall, a song is a resolution of the buildup of tension or suspense, but it should also drive you forward.

Which moments often get the most songs (or, to put it another way, which parts are tense enough to warrant a song as resolution)?

Openings: Act One openings answer the question "what is this story about?"; Act Two openings answer the question "where are we going?"

Anything vital to understanding a character, be it motivations ("I Want" songs) or thoughts on a situation

Dramatizations of events that would drag on too long or feel redundant or underwhelming if spoken, including big enough comic relief moments

Dramatizations of big turning points in a character's arc or points of no return (sometimes these fit into the above category, but I'll make this a category of its own)—if a critical realization happens in song format near the end of the second act, this can be called an 11 o'clock number.

Finales: Act One finales pose the question "what remains in the cards for these characters?" as an unresolved moment of suspense; Act Two finales answer the question "what was the ultimate trajectory these characters took?"

Let's take a look at how one of my favorite book musicals, Dear Evan Hansen, handles the divide between speech and song.

Our opening number, "Anybody Have a Map?" introduces the Hansen and Murphy families and follows their respective mothers' struggles to connect with their sons. This establishes the theme of isolation as it applies to them and their children and shows the moms' motivations: to connect with and support them. Once Connor shoves Evan and calls him a freak, we get "Waving Through a Window" as a song describing Evan's motivation: to feel seen and important. We get two brief reprises of this song: the first one takes place as he writes the letter that will later be mistaken for Connor's last words, and it drives home this motivation of his. The second one establishes it as a motivation for the socially awkward go-getter Alana as well (foreshadowing of something not immediately clear). When the Murphys come to believe that he was Connor's friend, the beginnings of Evan's lie in "For Forever" take the form of a song because this would feel too long and underwhelming if spoken and because it's the first threshold. (Inability to correct a miscommunication is one thing; outright lying becomes another.) The next threshold, creating fake emails between Evan and Connor in "Sincerely, Me" becomes another song for the same reasons: it's another point of no return that would drag on if it were normal dialogue, especially due to its status as comic relief. When Zoe's mom tells her to read these emails, which supposedly show a softer side to the brother who mistreated her, Zoe argues that Cynthia is trying too hard to make everything perfect. "Requiem" therefore shows us her true thoughts and those of her family as they handle their bereavement in their own ways. Evan tells Zoe that Connor admired her but couldn't admit it; this takes the form of "If I Could Tell Her" for many reasons. It's a point of tension because the audience knows Evan is crushing on her and wants to know how he'll handle this; it would be disappointing for him to simply speak. It's a turning point for their relationship as Zoe begins to open up to the idea that there were good things about her brother. It's an expression of Evan's thoughts about his inability to connect with her. As the school begins to forget about Connor, Evan's imaginary Connor tries to convince a hesitant Evan to start a memorial project in his honor, appealing to the idea of telling people they matter. "Disappear" is a threshold because it takes the lie from being localized to reaching an entire community. With these grand appeals to the themes of isolation and identity, Connor needs to sing because Alana just spoke without touching on those themes. "You Will Be Found," the Act One finale, dramatizes Evan's speech about what Connor supposedly meant to him and shows the Internet community's overwhelmingly positive response. Now that the lie has reached an entire community, the song takes place. There is nothing that Evan could say without being anticlimactic, and showing this verbally would be too long and redundant. As we pass this particularly huge point of no return, this is a nice place to leave off when asking "what remains in the cards for these characters?" because the dissonance hangs over our heads; we know that although this has affected the community positively and even allowed the Murphys to connect with each other, Evan is still speaking based on a lie and can still be found out. End of act.

Act Two opens with a spoken scene where Evan and Alana announce that they are planning to raise money on Kickstarter to reopen an orchard in Connor's memory. Our Act Two opener is a brief reprise of "Sincerely, Me" in which Jared tries to insert himself into the fake friendship, and this acts as a lead-in to spoken dialogue in which Evan chastises him for doing so. This is the opener because it helps show us where we're going; the rift between Evan and Jared is one that Evan doesn't think much of considering how snarky and dismissive Jared has been previously, but it matters to Jared, as little as he shows it, and it shows that Evan is beginning to turn more self-centered. In the next song, "To Break in a Glove," Larry shows Evan a glove he bought for Connor and talks about how Connor ignored it, how to break it in using a weeklong method instead of a glove-ruining instant one, and the importance of perseverance. This gradually turns into Larry trying to justify to himself his more stern disciplinarian attitude towards Connor, which he is beginning to doubt. It would feel too on-the-nose to watch Evan and Larry talk their way into a surrogate father-son relationship with life advice gained from the glove as a symbol and a metaphor, so the song becomes a vehicle. Let's move onto "Only Us," where Zoe tells Evan she wants to date him because of who he is as opposed to any closure or information he may be able to provide for her regarding her brother. This shows us their motivation: they want to let the rest of the world disappear so they can move forward and escape into each other. It's also a turning point because important things disappear with the rest of the world. Sure enough, the next scenes feature Alana disappointed in Evan for neglecting his duties and Heidi disappointed that her son would let the Murphys become surrogate parents to him. Cue "Good for You" as this tension begins to come to a head; we get everyone's thoughts about feeling used and Evan laments that there is no erasing what has been done. A brief reprise of "For Forever" shows Evan's imaginary Connor taunting him into continuing to lie by reminding him of his motivation to be connected with others so as to avoid himself. In desperation to keep Alana from discovering him to be a liar, Evan gives her his letter, which supposedly contains Connor's last words, and she posts it to gain money for the orchard. The Internet turns on the Murphys during "You Will Be Found (Reprise)," a critical threshold. Evan admits his lie to the Murphys and to himself in "Words Fail," the 11 o'clock number. This is a turning point in his arc as he owns up to his motivations (being seen as worthy and escaping his brokenness), recognizes his reasons for his actions and their inability to excuse him, and decides on truthfulness from now on. Heidi consoles him in "So Big/So Small," gives him the space to admit his struggles to her, and promises that he will move forward and have her support in doing so. The finale takes place a year later as Evan reflects on his growth; he is now in a place where he can be more honest with himself without relying on others' validation or recognition to feel important.

If you've read all this, I hope it helps! For anyone else who might be reading this and seeking to do a jukebox musical, the same principles apply. (Granted, you can, as I did, write around the shared themes of your desired songs for an idea about the plot and then carve in specific little ways to put in something particular, but these guidelines are there to help you keep it organic and fitting with the theme and the storyline. There is nothing worse than a shoehorned plot point established for the sake of a fanservice song. Audiences can tell.)

[crossdressingdeath]

I'm rereading TSatS in the hope that it'll help with my writer's block, which means it is once again time for Zagreus!Nico posting! Today's offering:

As with everything in the Zagreus!Nico tag this could be nothing and in fact probably is nothing. But to me it just seems like an odd thing for Nico to say here? It's probably supposed to be him trying to be defiant (or possibly just petulant) and going "Well maybe I am a god, you don't know" except because he's basically hypnotized it's coming out with zero force or solid intention behind it, but... I don't know! Unless I'm forgetting something there's no other point where anyone makes any claim to godhood even if they don't think it'll be believed (they might claim they were sent by a god, but they don't claim to be gods), and definitely not to someone who is a god and so would absolutely know they were lying! And while the fact that Hypnos is hypnotizing him during this scene accounts for some of it (Nico would absolutely know better than to say that in this situation if he was in his right mind), it's still just weird. Like, it doesn't not make sense as presented in canon, but it feels weird.

But, as per usual with these posts, it fits very neatly with the concept of Nico being Zagreus reborn! Because, as I mentioned, Nico is essentially hypnotized in this scene. And hypnotism can be used as a tool to recover lost or repressed memories (uh... according to Hannibal, anyway, I'm not a psychiatrist). Which means that there is a chance that Nico dreamily saying he could be a god in the Zagreus!Nico AU is him unknowingly stating a fact. He could be a god, would be a god if he hadn't died, and in fact likely will be a god in the future! Nyx being amused by this statement also becomes so much in an AU where Nico used to be a god and she's aware of that. ...And the "The god of bad decisions, perhaps" bit is also fun considering that in (one version of) the myth Zagreus was killed and eaten by Titans, which in the myth happened when he was a baby but that's no fun so in this AU he was Old Enough To Know Better and he probably could've avoided it, meaning calling him the god of bad decisions could be a bit of a dig about the death that Nyx remembers but Nico does not.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Quill I have a very serious question.

How do you the main group of guys (Keefe, Fitz, Dex, Tam and maybe Wylie and Jensi) would do if they were a boy band? Like who would be what, what music would they play, how much controversy would they have, etc.

⚙️

I want so badly to be able to answer this ask but I know next to nothing about boy bands. I don't know how they function I don't know what the tropes are, but I'll try </3

I think Keefe would want to be the center of attention, lead singer who may or may not be able to sing. Dex on something electric is obvious, but I don't know what--keyboard?? Some new instrument he made himself?? Maybe Tam and Fitz on drums/guitar, but I feel like either could fit with each. Do. do boy bands even play instruments. or are they purely vocal. Do they have clarinets and can we give one to Wylie? jensi needs something high energy, are accordions allowed??

Okay, music, what kind. I feel like the one thing they could agree on is loud and defiant. They've all been through so much (sans jensi, he's new to the Situations), and they're so fucking tired of it and just want it to be over and for people to listen and get off their assess and do something. They're tired of fixing the world and want to scream it out. But I don't know if that fits "boy band" style. The stereotype I have in my head is pop, upbeat music with light, bright sounds, but that may be wrong.

The amount of controversy, I'm not sure. Tam might get a lot for being so straightforward and unforgiving in what he wants. maybe a fan gets too familiar and he shuts that down immediately and effectively, and then people say he's controversial for being rude to them about it, but then another part of the internet is like um?? he's just enforcing boundaries he was in the right for that actually. Fitz would unknowing reinforce some biased system and get called out, like he doesn't understand how working hard doesn't get you what you want in life it's all about who you know and what privileges you have, so he'd talk meritocracy shit and be baffled when people pushed back. Dex might throw bombs at their shows. Keefe would be hyperanalyzed by unregulated fans. jensi might accidentally join a pyramid scheme. i'm not sure what wylie would do. perhaps never talking to fans, always turning them away--which again, is an understandable thing but the internet would twist it

As a group, I think they might get overpopular. People complain about how it's a group of mostly white boys with tam and Wylie just to seem diverse. And how their lyrics are overrated and just them screaming and complaining. That they're only popular because people think they're hot, they're not real music. I think they'd have mostly really shallow controversy, maybe one or two true significant scandals--but I think they could bounce back from them. Because they'd genuinely try to make it right, apologize, and do better in the future.

Anyway, I think they'd be a dysfunctional but somehow barely managing it boy band, whatever that entails. Dex plays music but is also somehow running sound and everything behind the scenes simultaneously. Tam doesn't want to be there. Jensi doesn't know why he is there. Someone who knows more about boy bands help me

[megamanrecut]

I was rereading season 1, which has been very fun, lots of details that stand out more with more context, but there's this one bit with Proto man that shows up more than once that's interesting.

In the first episode, Proto man tells Mega man that "Doc never got around to naming [him]... Too busy with his other inventions." Which is followed up a little during the Mega Pinocchio episode, with Proto man saying he's always been Proto (although not actually saying Dr. Light named him that, which turns out to be true), and when Mega man comments on that sounding a little cold, comments that Dr. Light is "Oblivious to details... I like Proto. It's better than Paaasd or something" (which lol)

Now that I've read the season 0 episode, it caught my eye that the name thing doesn't really get talked about there! Proto names himself very quickly, with no thought or fanfare behind it. Very fitting, but paired with the season 1 lines, I'm trying to puzzle out the incongruity of it (Proto you lying bastard why can't you be easier to understand!!!)

On one hand, if the subtle but present implication that Proto might feel bitter about his name is a retcon, it's one that I wouldn't have spotted if I hadn't reread season 0 recently. It's also just as likely that I'm reading into a set of lines that were just meant to be snarky, he definitely does that a lot too lol.

But I am curious if there's some level of truth to that sort of bitter undertone that I thought was implied! Proto man is a difficult character to understand, especially in season 1, and in general when trying to understand his feelings towards Dr. Light. Their relationship is so interesting to me, so sorry if I really did just read way too deep into it haha!

There was a slight perhaps retcon! (sorry this took awhile, limited internet access atm, also this is long/rambly lol)

I wrote season 0 waaay after season 1 (between Master of Disaster Part 2 and 3 to be exact) and in original s0 drafts, the naming thing didn’t happen as early, but when I finally began editing it that seemed unnecessarily weird/creepy for Dr. Light. So, instead the name thing came up on Proto’s activation day. Some of the emphasis around Proto’s name in S1 (particularly E1) was for dramatic irony.

So for character analysis:

Outside of that, still same deal with Dr. Light/Proto, just more focused on char divisions over specific, resolvable drama. The whole dynamic between Dr. Light and Proto has always been strained at best to total estrangement at its core, and sometimes painful to write. Dr. Light was never really in the wrong, Proto just developed into his own person that wanted nothing to do with ‘domestic human life’ or to have any type of authority figure. Its a huge philosophical difference, but its also a son who feels smothered and hopeless rejecting his loving father who tried his best to understand but could never make it work in time. That dynamic still exists, unsolved, in the good!Proto AUs (Master of Disaster Part 3, Become the Night)

Still, Proto isn’t really bitter by Dr. Light’s actions per se, he was just bitter about living under his roof where he was bored and under stimulated. Even Mega was surprised by this at first. In Mega-Pinocchio he was expecting a specific drama lead to Proto’s defection then was surprised when Proto also denied that Dr. Light really did anything wrong, and even reassured the naming thing didn’t bother him (I had already written the ‘naming’ scene in season 0, which remained unchanged, just happened earlier) It wasn’t until Future Shock when he began understanding Proto a little.

Either way tho, Proto wasn’t really bitter about his name (at least there was never intended bitter subtext there, but can be interpreted however!) I think in a way even if Dr. Light *had* given him a name (like Blues?) he would have been quick to drop that when he became Proto Man (kinda like how he thinks ‘Break Man’ is cringy in Become the Night or how Elec Man calling him ‘Light’ drives him nuts). He doesn’t really like the connection, and would prefer to have no name or a generic one over one picked for him by Dr. Light.

[theresattrpgforthat]

hey i really love your game recs and was wondering if you had anything for the theme of 'changing not necessarily for the better'? like the idea that yeah trauma can bring you and your friends closer, but sometimes it pushes you apart and its no ones fault. and if possible something either set in reality or low fantasy/magical realism?

THEME: Deteriorating Characters

I'm not sure how many of these really fit what you were looking for. I think at least two of them are outside of genre, but the idea of characters on a downward spiral usually happens firmly within horror games. In the meantime, perhaps you can still find some inspiration from these games.

Cannot Leave Each-other, by Liorbrary.

One of you is a human parent. The other is their werewolf child.  When you are together the werewolf always magically maintains their human form.  While you are apart things have the potential to be complicated. 

There is a shared understanding that if you are separated for too long one of you will die. The exact details of this death are unclear, but you feel it in your bones to be true and looming.  

This game is about a relationship between two people who need each-other but might not necessarily be able to maintain a healthy relationship. Something interrupts their normal day-to-day, and they’ll either figure out how to stay together, or they’ll be forced apart. 

This game has a potential for tragedy, as well as a resolution that isn’t happy in very many senses of the word. Even if your players stay together, their relationship might suffer for it. If you are looking for a game that will allow you to navigate emotional topics in a setting where death is on the line, you should check out Cannot Leave Each-Other.

Alien Omen, by Ashy Feet.

Alien Omen is a Forged in the Dark game about a pending alien invasion. Characters start off as City Slicks or Rural Rangers who will be introduced to the alien menace preparing it's assault. As players lean into learning about the unknown, they gain power but at the cost of their own corruption.

With every alien encounter, your characters will add ticks to their Corruption track, as it becomes harder and harder to ignore the alien invaders. At 3 Corruption, the players are faced with a choice: there are three factions to which they could choose to join, and doing so will require an initiation ritual that both gives you a new ability, but also causes Harm to the players. 

If you want the full experience of Alien Omen, You need to check out the Character Keeper found on the creator’s website. 

Last Shooting, by My name is Grant.

Two pilots can change your destiny. Two massive war machines can change your future. Two players can share the happiness.

Last Shooting is a 2-player RPG that uses a unique system to tell stories about Mech battles. Using a customized version of the Final Bid engine, Last Shooting builds the characters and defines them more sharply during each scene of play. Then, it gives you the power to destroy any of those aspects to propel yourself to victory.

Last Shooting is meant for single session play, and tends to take 2-3 hours. And it provides the flexibility for no two sessions to play out the same way.

Define your pilot, and destroy them in turn. The battle hinges on what remains.

This game asks players to consider how destructive this final fight will be for your characters, as you will have to actually destroy parts of your “datafile” or character sheet, in order to increase your chances of success. You may win against your opponent - but at what cost?

It Breaks You, by Crab Dominion.

It Breaks You is based on the slasher movie monsters of the 70’s and 80’s - a lumbering, unstoppable force chases you, and you must do whatever it takes to survive. Will you help others, or help yourself? It doesn't matter; in the end, It Breaks You.

It Breaks You features simple mechanics and a one-page layout, allowing you to jump right into the action. All you need to start is 3d6, 3d4 and 2-5 players.

In this game, your characters have two stats: Empathy and Apathy. Regardless of whether or not you help others or help yourself, you’ll be required to roll in order to determine whether your acts drain away at either of your attributes. It’s in your best interests to help yourself, but regardless of your attempts, once you lose all of your pips in one or the other, It Breaks You.

Broken, by Ben Wallis.

Broken is a tabletop roleplaying game of tragic romance for two players about broken objects and broken hearts. Create two characters in a relationship and over the course of ten scenes, you will explore the ways in which the things you loved about each other crack until everything about your relationship is broken--including the ten real-life, physical objects you will break over the game's ten scenes.

In Broken, the relationship will always end.  Although the tragic conclusion is inevitable, there is endless potential for healing and self-discovery along the way.

Broken is an emotionally deep game that explores themes of memory, identity, and loss.  Broken is also full of empathy-building, hope, and healing. Broken is a game that recreates the raw, visceral experience of going through a break-up along with the catharsis of smashing objects, all while telling a beautiful story along the way.

This game is theoretically one of change not necessarily for the better, in the sense that the relationship doesn’t get better - it ends. Players will break items as they navigate memories as the characters remind each-other of events they experienced together and how they weren’t what they thought they were. As they do this, traits that represent what what each character liked about each-other are burned away. If you want a tragic game that gives you room for catharsis, I recommend Broken.

Games I’ve recommended in the past.

Locus, by CobblePath Games

Fears & Fathoms, by curatrix-ribston.

After the Rain, by Desk and Dorks.

[aeymii]

It was like a little bonding moment for Protag!Nagito. The survivors all had a big communal bath, split between boys and girls. And it just felt weirdly nice for him to be hanging out with Kaz and Gundham there, since it made him feel included.

Honestly I imagine lots of moments like that for their AU. Like I've got this one idea where they're actually not immediately saved by the Future Foundation after getting out of the school. And so they go on a little roadtrip with one of Hope's Peak's leftover vans (which they fit as many supplies in as they could). Deciding to stop off at Nagito's house first. Mainly to give him about a week or so to properly heal from the lost arm. But also because it occurs to him that in the post-Apocalypse, money probably isn't as useful for trade as items to barter. And assuming that his house hasn't been ransacked, there's still his dad's old wine cellar that they can use for currency. They think perhaps they might try to find some kind of boat after that, to head to Novoselic in Europe.

It's just like a really quiet "calm before the storm" period. Where they lay him down in his bedroom, while the girls share his parents' old room and the boys share the guestroom. And take turns keeping him company (with Mikan as his main nurse). Just lots of tender FTEs with his classmates, who slowly get a bit more of an idea of what his life was like when they look around his house. Like imagine Mahiru getting a bit of a shock when she sees a photo of a happy kid Nagito, and realizing he didn't always have white hair. He makes a special request that if he doesn't make it, that they please bury him in the spot out back right next to where his dog is buried. They assure him it won't come to that, but promise that they would if it did.

...Also on a less serious, and more morbidly hilarious note, I did have this one funny idea for how Junko potentially died in the AU. Nagito accidentally killed her in a scene reminiscent of Pulp Fiction's bit with Marvin. Carelessly waving around a handgun he believes is empty, with his finger on the trigger while the two get into a big finale debate. Only for the gun to go off and hit her directly in the head, bringing an anticlimactic end to things. Everyone panicking for a moment, Nagito most of all, with him being like "Oh shit, I thought it wasn't loaded!" This whole thing of course being televised.

Hrjsjaiaksnks bonding moment ehehhehehehe, the protage and the bonding<3 AHHH HE FELT INCULDED FOR ONCEE MY BOY!! 💖💖 give him love everyone!!!! Includeee himmmm

OH!! OMG OMG THIS SI AKAZINAG AGHH I LOVE SEEING MOMENTS IN THE APOCALYPSE, The red sky aesthetic and the wastelandd- Oooo an abandoned van!!!! My guy lost his arm yep let em heal, haha money ain't gonna work at the end of the world OHHHHH A TRIP TO NOVOSELIC AHHHH AGRESSIVELY EATS YOUR IDEAS LIKE A DOG WITH RABIES

TAKEN CARE OF BY MIKAN, HE'S IN HEAVEN MIKAN MY ANGEL I LOVE HER SO MUCH<33 ✨✨ And they start to understand him better lemme go sob in the corner this sheet giving me emotional damage- HAPPY NAGIBOY WAHHH THAT'S SO.. beside the dog.. WAHHH THAT'S SO SADDD NOT THE DOGGGG

AHAHAHAHAH HE WAVED AROUND HIS GUN AND WHISTLED UNTIL HE KILLED A RANDOM TEEN AND WENT :0 PFFT, and y'all panicking understandably, and the audience too lol, but bro saved the universe with that!! He did them more good than bad because it's "The Junko" bro deserves some medals and a crown or something ahahah this is so crazy I love every part of it

[valeriefauxnom]

Scaling Removed Scenes

So, even if I use most the content I type, or am at very least able to repurpose scene ideas, sometimes things just don't quite make it into the cut. It might be for characterization, the tone a section had that is now at contrast with the rest of the chapter (as me, who tends to write random interesting bits of several upcoming chapters in the future and then strings things together, cannot exactly foresee where the plot is), or just because a better idea popped up. (Yes, you are also reading this right in that I am a 'pantser' flying by the seat of my pants with ideas vaguely glued together as I stitch things together! ...I'm not good at outlines.)

The point remains: this is things that aren't Scaling 'canon' or congruent. And despite it all, some of these are snippets or, rarely, basically fully polished segments that no longer fit. So instead of letting them rot forever in my drafted works, I figured I'd at least try and put some of them somewhere as maybe a fun little thing for anyone interested to see What Could Have Been.

Here's one, which with the latest chapter is out of the running. My first draft and ideas for this section involved the Trio of Eldest Siblings being the ones to face an even angrier Mids, and it would have been much earlier in the chapter. As things developed, it was ultimately thrown out for quite a few reasons. For one, Euden Tower Defense and resulting drama had not yet entered my mind. It also felt like a bit too...productive for a single section, in that Mids is giving incredibly huge pieces to the puzzle all in once, even if he might be a bit looser with info when mad. Combined with other things, it was eventually 'repurposed' into Leo's encounter(s) with Midgardsormr. You'll see shades of elements here and there!

That being said, I'm not exactly sure what to do with these little bits and pieces. This is probably the biggest piece I can think of that is truly out of the realm of possibility now. I'm not sure whether to just post 'em on Tumblr for easy finding so they don't get lost in my own drafts or posting them to a new single work on AO3 or something, with chapters dividing the different failed sections. What might work best/be preferred for any readers here, for convenience or something?

Without any ado, though, now that that's out of the way, here's the section in question, a full 2.7k that had developed wings but nevertheless failed to fly enough to make the Cut!

“And then, before I could explain his behavior to Father as nothing more than dismay that Father was hewing closer to the core of the matter, Father dismissed me as if I were naught more than a schoolboy throwing a temper tantrum! Infuriating. We just might have had some answers by now, but Father’s saccharine tendencies nipped it in the bud and allowed Euden to escape yet again from answering any uncomfortable topic.” Leonidas said as he relayed his experience with Father and Euden last night, only pausing to angrily sip his tea.

“One question: were you acting as a ‘schoolboy throwing a temper tantrum’, o wizened, most temperate elder brother, or at least resembling one enough that Father strayed closer to caution than boldness in assuming Euden’s intentions? You do have a certain…vigor in you that can oft make it appear you are feeling more intensely about a matter than you actually are.” Phares said, jovial to Leonidas’ annoyance.

Chelle hummed in agreement. “With the fire in his mere recounting of last night’s events, I too would struggle to blame Father for erring on the side of caution when interpreting your interpretations.”

“Perhaps I ought to head posthaste to Valkaheim, if that is how I am appreciated here, and leave you to figure out the truth all alone. First you disregard me and my orders, only to deride me as if I were a petulant, emotional child.” Leonidas huffed at their light teasing as the trio of eldest siblings gathered once again to consult with each other over tea.

“Winter is not due for how many months, and yet brother dearest is already wishing to abandon us to frigid winter to enjoy the warmth of Valkaheim? How cruel and cold, much as my elder brother’s heart, it seems!” Chelle exclaimed with faux hurt. They all knew Leonidas was merely expressing exasperation at not getting his way yet again, instead an actual threat to return to his city as he did for all winters. It wasn't as if Chelle would be here for winter either, more than happy to return to Chanzelia to escape the freeze as well.

“Oh yes, how very devastating, his willingness to leave his infirm, sickly brother to the capital, trusting that he won’t even be able to hold a coup in the meantime…” Phares joined right in the teasing with a hand clutching his chest and blatantly lying. While far from the raw physical strength Leonidas or Valyx could muster, he wasn’t exactly infirm now, either, and a master of all forms of the lance aside. 

“As if you wish the throne, anyways… We’d have an easier time convincing you to remain in a library for a year than maintain the throne for half that.” Well, that too, as Leonidas pointed out. Phares was more than content to stay holed up in his study or wandering the world in search of truth and science, making his words mere bluster. The one singular time Leonidas and Father had both been struck ill by an illness for a few days enough to demand a regent, Phares made his displeasure acting as such clear enough by his sulking. 

“Hm, that actually might be a pleasant reprieve from-”

They were interrupted when a sudden strong breeze sent wind whipping across the courtyard. Chelle had to rapidly snatch her fan off the table before it could be carried away. Looking to the sky, baffled by the sudden change in wind, they soon had an answer.

Midgardsormr had returned to the castle, and he was evidently interested in coming to land in their courtyard.

They watched in silence as the dragon slammed onto the ground much louder than necessary, each formulating their own idea about the situation.

“Heiritors of dragonblood, what have you done to Euden?! Answer me or your lives might be considered forfeit!” The dragon all but roared, staring them down with all the fury of a powerful Greatwyrm.

Leonidas stood up. The rest of them followed, but Leonidas held out an arm in a signal to stay behind him. “Explain what you mean, wyrm. We’ve done nothing. Whatever you mean, it was not our act.”

His words sounded cold as ever, but the remaining siblings could tell he was preparing himself for a fight. Even the causal omission of ‘Great’ in front of ‘wyrm’ would be considered severely disrespectful. To do so in front of an angry dragon was tantamount to begging for a fight.

“Then you mean to claim you have nothing to do with his current status? He had fled. Escaped as planned from you, and so I departed to track him down and rejoin him. Only after some time searching did I feel his mana again echoing back to this very castle and just outside, this time ever-so-much-weaker. It is clear you, as the connecting factor, did something drastic to incapacitate him!” With every huff, verdant tendrils of wind mana cascaded out his mouth and nostrils, a passive reminder of the power dragons commanded by virtue of their creation.

“The only thing our family has done of late, Greatwyrm, was save him from being preyed upon by fiends and dying from shapeshifting rebound. He’s currently being treated to the best of our capacity and with all kindness possible.” Phares said in a more placating tone than Leo’s harsher rejection.

“Clearly a lie. It was you who first imprisoned him into this castle, and halted him from shapeshifting! Evidently, now that he reclaimed his ability, you must resort to other methods now that the accursed collar is nullified from his efforts. Exactly what I would have come to expect from such conniving siblings who seemed to seek nothing less than his complete annihilation at times!” Though the Greatwyrm appeared calmer by actually being willing to hear them out, he was still obviously angry, judging by the way his tail thrashed about and knocked over things at random.

Despite the more pressing concern trying to calm down a Greatwyrm from attempting murder (and one that would likely succeed against at least one of them), Midgardsormr’s words sent their heads spinning as they processed. 

First, the dragon had implied that Euden had shared with him that they were siblings before he saw fit to reveal the same to Father, as well as plotting escape with him. Second, Midgardsormr seemed to believe they sought Euden’s ‘annihilation’ and spoke as if he had a history with them longer than a month or two. Whatever could that mean or have originated from? Had Euden and him truly been speaking so dramatically of affairs here? It hadn’t seemed like it, the one time they partially overheard a discussion of theirs… Though they admittedly were speaking secretively in their utilization of Draconic, a nearly dead language that even dragons seldom used for anything beyond ancient literature and magic study.

“Greatwyrm, if you are truly so unable to take our words for what they are, I implore you, by all means, visit your pactbound yourself to see with your own eyes that he is not being mistreated. We know not what you are referring to, but it is not our wish to see relations soured between the Kingdom and the Greatwyrms.” Chelle offered, testing the waters by calling Midgardsormr and Euden ‘pactbound’ to gauge his reaction.

The dragon fell silent then, failing to provide a reaction as he maintained his stare as if he were weighing their souls. “...I will hold you to your offer, dragonblood.” He held his snout up high in the air for a minute, before he abruptly took to the air again. 

“...He looks like he’s going to our bedrooms,” Phares said as he observed the dragon’s flight, “They must be pacted after all or otherwise engaged in some sort of bond. Tracking down the mana of a shapeshift is one thing, but to be able to pinpoint his location like this suggests a deeper connection. Even Uranus wouldn’t be able to pin my exact location, and we’re essentially in lockstep.”

“Phooey. My hair is all messed up now.” Chelle said instead as she tried to school it into a neater semblance of its former glory. 

Leonidas’ hair was similarly messed up, though he did not seem to care aside from moving it away from his eyes. “Pick up your slackened jaws and lances, guards. The threat is not gone. Sister, Brother, you may wish to go inside. If the beast is to attack, let him claw through the walls to do so, preferably when you are armed.”

Midgardsormr’s strong wind and strong…verbiage had made some of the guards drop their weaponry in shock.

“And let you engage in diplomacy, when you’re already mentally strategizing how to fight a Greatwyrm? Perish the thought. If we run, he could just as easily take that as confirmation we feared his wrath when he discovered something.” Chelle dismissed, taking her seat again as if a dragon did not just threaten that he might take their lives.

Phares hummed in agreement. “Besides, we did just invite him inside. There would be a fair probability his hypothetical rampage would commence there. We simply must pray we’ve given no accidental cause for Midgardsormr to interpret as neglectful.”

They then sat in mostly silence despite the gravity of the situation, their previous discussion tabled. The only marker of some time passing was the increasing presence of guards entering the courtyard, no doubt responding to frantic calls to arms regarding a hostile dragon in the place only to find it empty.

But finally, Midgardsormr could be seen in the skies once more, landing again, this time with a more reasonable slam. He graciously chose to ignore the few guards that nervously pointed their spears in his general direction to focus upon them again.

“I will acknowledge that your current story appears to be veracity, kin of dragonblood. Euden is yet asleep, but all that I could gather from others suggested your words to be true. For once.” The bluster in the wind and his mood seemed to die down. 

They could only be pleased the dragon was of the sort able to calm himself when proven wrong, though he was not pleased about it. Many dragons, much as humans, struggled to accept any notion of faultiness and many a cautionary story ended with a dragon going on a rampage only to find out their driving reason was incorrect.

“Our thanks for listening to us, Honorable Greatywrm. Please, if there is aught more you might like to hear to clarify the situation since your departure, do ask.” Chelle said in her smooth tone that served to soothe ruffled feathers (or scales) and cravats alike, eager to further iron out any misunderstandings and perhaps win back some goodwill.

The dragon looked more contemplative at that. “...How did you find out that he was your kin? The environs were richly decorated and well-guarded in such a way that suggests you live near his new quarters, no? What caused his change of scenery from being secreted away above the castle as little more than a prisoner?”

“He revealed it to our father, though not particularly freely. It was a miracle we’ve gotten that much out of him despite that being the most logical conclusion since the first day he stepped inside the castle, and even that reportedly set him crying and pulling out his own feather. Utterly ridiculous.” Leonidas responded, shaking his head with distaste.

The dragon sighed. “...Feather? Whatever is going on with you?” He muttered, lost in thought, “...All I know of Euden would not correlate to most behavior you and your servants consistently described. Still, know that I will not break the bonds of trust placed upon me and thus will not speak of his secrets.” Sage as reputed, Midgardsormr had already deduced the likely request that he share information with them if he were truly so concerned and preemptively responded.

“Then,” Phares swallowed, buying time to think of a way to phrase his inquiry, “...If you cannot, is someone else who might? We’re increasingly at our wits’ end trying to find out anything that might help him. As soon as things look to be improving, something backslides him three steps before seemingly without rhyme or reason as he refuses to explain.”

“...There exists none who could share his life story, anymore. They are gone. The sole keepers are him and myself, and even I know not all.” 

They paused at that plain confirmation that they had no hope of finding any record or person that knew of Euden aside from those presently within the confines of their current location. However many were that could have before, they were likely dead if that was how Midgardsormr addressed them.

“Ah. I see…”

“All fine and well, but do you seriously intend us to twiddle our thumbs and gently try to prod him into revealing another scrap of info, only then to have to wait another month before any notable progress can be made again and trust he doesn’t find a way to die or maim himself accidentally in the meantime? That is the pattern of late, and one that cannot be allowed to continue. If you profess care enough to open yourself up to attack from the entire kingdom, I would remind you of the consequences of silence.” Leonidas said, not falling into Phares’ melancholic mood so easily.

“Dearest brothers, this was supposed to be an opportunity to answer questions of the dragon, not ask them, regardless of your points.” Chelle reminded.

“I intend to honor the trust placed in me, little ember, especially as I am the only one whom he can rely upon now,” the Windwyrm dismissed, flicking his tail in displeasure, “Control your fire before it sparks the wrong blaze. Regardless, there is little I wish to ask that I could receive an adequate response for. I will permit you to continue your inquiries as I see fit.” 

The diminutive appellation of Leonidas as a ‘little ember’ had him cross his arms in distaste, -also probably from the reminder he had no true control whether the dragon stayed to listen at all.

“Then, Windwyrm, if you will not enlighten the darkness, advice on how to illuminate it ourselves would be helpful. We’ve any number of scattered facts, but connecting them into a singular narrative is proving most difficult.”

“...I will speak with him as soon as he has awoken before I do anything more. But I will leave you with two pieces of advice: Euden, as most every living creature, is more helpful when met with kindness than not.”

“Windwyrm: we’ve tried making most every concession allowed either for his health or per our lord Father’s orders. We would struggle to think of aught other kindness one could provide. He asks for near nothing, and so nothing we provide.” Chelle protested, incensed at the implication they were meeting him with unkindness.

It was uncanny, how so many dragons could hold so still for so long. Had they not known, one could have taken Midgardsormr as a very fancy, exorbitantly expensive sculpture. “...And have you considered your mere presence is its own form of torment to him? Therein lies my second piece of advice: regardless of how illogical it may be, the least likely answer is more often the closer one to your answers.” 

“Illogical in what-”

Before Phares could finish, Midgardsormr took off yet again abruptly as he first came, deciding the conversation was over.

“...Well, that was certainly interesting. A pity he grew tired of questioning so quickly. I had many things I might like to ask about.” Phares blinked, interrupted in the middle of his question and left watching the dragon go.

“Nothing like a touch of mortal peril to enliven one’s afternoon, hm? Though, Leo-Leo, I must say, how dashing to come to your siblings’ aid! I’d almost begun to believe you were devolving into a crude brute with no sense of chivalry!”

“How is it that you can turn to jape so quickly in the wake of what just transpired? Do you fools even realize the precariousness of that situation? Regardless, I simply did not wish you to be in my way if the dragon were inclined to attack. That is all.” 

“Mm-hm…” Two skeptical voices sounded, sharing a knowing look. Oh yes, that likely was part of the reason, but they both knew it was not the entirety.

Phares took a sip of tea, as if they were not in potentially mortal peril not five minutes ago. “In any case, permit me to share my own curious findings I’ve been meaning to before I announce the same to our sibling in question, obtained thanks to the Lightwyrm and Nedrick…”

---

[highfantasy-soul]

So I have THOUGHTS (not bad ones, just 'hmmm interesting') about Mat's story in the finale. Book spoilers be ahead!!

So I've seen a lot of discussion about the holes in Mat's memories and what that means for how the show is changing that aspect of the books up. So in the books, the dagger eats holes in Mat's brain and he can't remember a lot of his life - like, his real, this incarnation life. So when in Rhuidean, he goes through the second stone archway and asks for the holes in his memory to be filled and the delightful Eelfinn oblige.

HOWEVER! This is something I think people talking about the tea from episode 7 are mis-remembering: those memories the Eelfinn give Mat are canonically NOT of Mat's past lives!! The tea seemed much more akin to the flicker-verse in book 2 when they use the portal stone - but even that isn't a direct translation as the portal stone shows you alternative paths in THIS lifetime, not your past lives.

And coming back to the Eelfinn - Mat distinctly remembers being on BOTH sides of a battlefield at one point. So two memories taking place at the same time - ergo, these are not his own past life's memories. It's theorized in later books that maybe these are memories the Eelfinn or Aelfinn have taken from various visitors to their realms over the years that the person traded away for some benefit or another and they just slapped them into Mat's brain - focusing on the ones from great generals over the centuries.

He doesn't remember the entire life, just parts of them - he remembers random dances, battles, and subconsciously knows the Old Tongue now.

I can see him still going through the archways (I really do hope they keep that in the show, maybe just giving him his prophesies for the future from Tear and his ashandarei, hanging scar, and medallion in Rhuidean) and just leave out the memory bit.

It actually works a bit better for me the way the show might have done his battle memories: I read his scene with the Heroes of the Horn as him remembering our Mat from the books as they indicated at the end that he'd done enough to become bound to the horn if he so chose. It's been theorized who book Mat was a reincarnation of, though never confirmed (to my knowledge), one of the most popular theories I think being King Aemon, last king of Manetheren and I think that would totally fit: Mat's past lives are of generals who perhaps struggled against the Dark, but eventually all held to the Light.

Having the blowing of the Horn give you your past lives' memories makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe he only temporarily got them, though since he's tied to the horn and so couldn't be 'called forth' since he was already there, they decided to give him his memories like the rest of them have to aid in battle and then they'll dissipate with the Heroes. We shall see.

But yeah, totally loved Mat's Horn blowing moment though shame on me for not realizing what he was saying in the Old Tongue!!!! I thought it was just a generic battle cry like he does in the early books and not a single brain cell in my skull recognized the words he was saying even thought I say them to myself VERY FREQUENTLY and want them TATTOOED UPON MY BODY!!!! Seriously, I have no idea how I missed registering what he was shouting - though it did seem an odd place to say it as "it's time to toss the dice" isn't really a regular thing to shout in battle, you need a bit more of Mat's story to understand why he'd say that - but if we're going with the reading that show!Mat has just remembered book!Mat's life, it makes sense that he'd pull out his old battle cry. Anyways, done ranting about how frustrating it was that I missed the most iconic of iconic wot sayings the first time around.

show!Mat: I love you. I like this possible iteration of his battle memories. Good soup. I would like more, please.

[denimbex1986]

'I love a good Doctor Who needle drop. Most of the time, they come out of nowhere, remind you of a song you haven’t heard in ages, and add just the right amount of camp to any given scene or episode. They are a joy to behold, and the one included in “The Giggle,” the last of Doctor Who’s 60th anniversary specials, is no exception.

Now, the Toymaker, perhaps better identified as the Celestial Toymaker, is a terrifying villain. He’s essentially unstoppable. His powers are unknown but seemingly limitless, the Timelords had no idea where he came from, and yet, despite all this potential, all he really likes to do is ensnare and torture his targets by playing silly little games. So, naturally, to make Neil Patrick Harris’ horrifying version of the Toymaker even scarier, his grand entrance in UNIT’s headquarters involved him dancing and lip-synching along to the Spice Girls’ iconic number “Spice Up Your Life.”

I mean, really, what else was he expected to do?

Of course, this isn’t the first time a Doctor Who villain has brightened up our lives while performing a choreographed routine to a popular song, or used music to destroy the world. The Master, especially, is a big fan of pop music. Who can forget the time he used “Voodoo Child” by the Rogue Traders to rain destruction down on Earth? Or, just after that, when he danced to the Scissor Sisters’ “I Can’t Decide” just to torment his captives? (Though, sadly, this sequence seems to have been removed from the streaming version of the show in the U.S.) Of course, one can’t ignore the Master’s iconic dance to Boney M.’s “Rasputin” during Jodie Whittaker’s run as the Doctor, either. There’s just something so deliciously twisted and messy about a villain dancing along to pop music that gets me every time.

And, before anyone thinks I’ve forgotten, a special mention must go out to Doctor Who’s use of “Toxic” by Britney Spears in the first season of NuWho. I’m still not sure the show will ever be able to top that moment, though it’s certainly come close.

The song choice is what makes the scene—and “Spice Up Your Life” was definitely the right choice for “The Giggle.” The Spice Girls are a British institution, and any song by them is bound to fit in with Doctor Who, but “Spice Up Your Life” has long been a personal favorite of mine. Like millions of others, I was obsessed with the Spice Girls when I was a kid. As a five-year-old, “Wannabe” was, predictably, my favorite. But now, as a somewhat wiser adult woman, I can recognize that “Spice Up Your Life” is just so much fun. Despite some rough lyrics, the song’s energy is unmatched, and it immediately makes you want to dance. The Toymaker clearly agrees with me.

I just love the idea that this all-powerful being enjoys the Spice Girls as much as the rest of the world; enough to know the lyrics and choreograph a violent dance to one of their songs. He has good taste and a great sense of rhythm. Who knew you could twirl someone into a wall with enough force to practically knock them out and time it perfectly? This was the best way to showcase the Toymaker’s astounding abilities and his unnerving personality. An excellent performance, to be sure.

Now, if Russell T. Davies ever wants to include another Spice Girls song in a future episode—perhaps when the Master makes their inevitable return—might I suggest “Who Do You Think You Are”? That disco-inspired bop is sure to make any scene with a Doctor Who villain just as memorable as the one in “The Giggle.”'