#it might be the lack of sleep
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Me trying to write fanfiction at 4 am
Kilgharrah: “Welcome, young warlock, to the birthplace of our kin.”
Me: Stops. Put on Jurassic Park's theme.
#bbc merlin#merthur#kilgharrah#AS I SHOULD#i might be losing it#it might be the lack of sleep#it might not
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It's getting lonely, it's getting hard to breathe
The arcade's empty, I think it's Christmas Eve
#wanted to do more with this but whatevaarrrr i wanted it out before i went to sleep. and it's 5 am#devastating lack of cabinet man posting on my dash 2day. it's just been almost christmas means it wasn't christmas#art#digital art#lemon demon#cabinet man#lyrics#music#eyestrain#bright colours#might be missing some but if i can think of more tags i'll add them when i'm up
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seeing lewis with kenzo is making me choked up a little because god. that is his direct legacy, what he wanted to see on the grid and what he was working for since 2020...a kid just like himself looking up to him and seeing that yes, it is possible to achieve all your dreams.
#this might also be my lack of sleep brain talking but i cant even imagine how lewis feels like#someone like him!!! on the grid!! who won a karting championship!!!#lewis hamilton#f1#kenzo craigie
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Had a long night and made a vent piece to help me through it. I’m doing better now, but I figured it might be good to post— hopefully it can help someone feel less alone.
I call this thing “The Gravedigger.”
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#something something ‘I want to bury this trauma like a seed and have something beautiful sprout from the ugliness.’#I’ll say again that I’m doing better— a bit fragile emotionally maybe; but that’s mostly from a lack of sleep.#I might reblog another ask game for some distractions soon enough. we’ll see!#vent#vent art#vent post#ptsd#ptsd recovery#ptsd vent#stuff by sofie
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"Your absence has gone through me, like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color." - Separation (W. S. Merwin)
#*Alternate color version#i say color but i legit have no idea what the colors look like im losing vision from lack of sleep and NO GLASSES#hopefully this ended up being something deadass all a blur rn#brain said i couldnt sleep until either the edit was done or i dies#might end up being both yall#but goodnight fr now#anime#anime memes#jjk parallel#geto suguru#suguru geto#jjk 0#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk memes#jjk premature death#jjk hidden inventory#stsg#sgst#satosugu#sugusato
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Can Dream keep his status as the undisputed king of Parkour Warrior?
As promised, with Dream's newfound vigor for beating the Parkour Warrior record, an updated analysis of his best possible time given the splits shown on his most recent (11/3/23) stream!
With new course run optimizations courtesy of fruitberries and SandwichLord, Dream has improved on his previous time massively, cutting his optimized best time down nearly 30 seconds from the last time I did this. In fact, though he posited it may be possible to get a 4:20.00 last year, he's absolutely blown that prediction (and the optimized time in my previous analysis) out of the water this fall. If he manages to match this optimized time, he'll be cutting down another 22.49 seconds from his current time, which is not only an insane merit on his own, but also more than 4 seconds under the time that SandwichLord has put forward as the world record.
More details under the cut!
For those curious, this is the side-by-side, as well as the differences from the last analysis I did (from his May 29, 2022 stream) to this most recent one!
As we can see, he's improved, even if slightly, on every single level of the course. Additionally, it's an interesting trend to see that he's made the most progress/cuts on the latter half of the course, most dramatically level 5-3, The Wall Clinger, where he cut on ladder climbing time, as well as level 8-2, The Chain Pipes.
Also of note are the improvements in time on 5-1 (The Fish Bones) and 6-3 (The Bending Barrys), both sections where Dream has identified massive time sinks in the past!
As a note: the change in "One-Run Bests" just means the difference between his previous long-standing best time and the record he just set this evening.
And for those who are really interested in the raw data, here is a screenshot of the raw data taken straight from his stream and processed minimally :)
#might post this on the reddit when I'm not literally dead on my feet from lack of sleep KJDHFLSDKJHG#but !! hope this is interesting :D#ok I eep. gn#lyss analyzes#lyss.dream
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maybe the real Viktor arcane season 2 character arc were the friends we made along the way
#I’m sorry but they relied way too heavily on off screen implications of things happening and telling instead of showing for his arc#we literally barely saw anything of what he had to go through to get to any of the places where he was in the season#idk maybe I need to rewatch to understand better but due to the rushed pacing and severe lack of screen time I feel he didn’t get enough#nuance and substantial characterisation that he truly deserved this season#like dude barely got to machine his herald before the writers decided it was time to wrap up and have a 2 min redemption arc😭#let that man be full of RAGE let him be FERAL let him have an UGLY GROTESQUE MAN MADE MACHINE TRANSFORMATION#GOD FORBID A MAN COMPREHENDS THE HORRORS HE’S WITNESSED!!#I love season 1 but season 2#Rn it’s a 6.5/10 for me while s1 was a 9 or 10/10#maybe I need to rewatch to see if any of the other characters got it better than he did I mean I LOVED ekko jayce and jinx this season#but Viktor Mel and sky#they got fumbled so hard they deserved so much better imo sorry#yapping#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane critical#Might delete later idk this rant feels deeply unserious and I’m also sleep deprived so maybe my takes aren’t the best#Living up to my name as the world’s first elderly teenage girl bc I need a grandpa level nap GOD#my post
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Okay, so, after this post by @tartrazeen about a dream in which RK900's name was “Guy Chefrad” I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I made this
#dbh#dbh rk900#It might be the lack of sleep but I was laughing out loud making this#dbh guy chefrad
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What if I made Vincent and Porter kiss? Huh? What then?
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#...i need to go to bed im starting to feel loopy from lack of sleep#...i might draw this though for fun#like a little what if porter and vincent had a fling before they hated each other#...my apologies in advance
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Plans with my best friend tomorrow you know what that means😏 (can’t sleep because i’m too excited to see them😔)
#agggggghhhh tomorrow hurry uppppp#we might have to cancel for weather too which i’d HATE ughhhhg#but if not i get to see them!! and give them their christmas gifts and ahhhhhh#i’m a little sad one didn’t arrive in time which extra sucks since i didn’t have much money to spend#so i already felt their gifts were a little lacking😪#but i made them an extra bracelet to make up for it so hopefully that helps!#either way im just excited to spend time with them because it’s been a minute and i MISS them#my favorite person for real i love them so so much#NEED to sleep though lol
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Marika & Messmer are fascists but not the hornsent who chop people to small pieces and put them inside jars to achieve divinity because they believe they're "chosen" people and therefore superior to other races? Have you considered the possibility that sometimes both sides of a war can suck? This is why frenzied flame is the way🙏
Anon, I am going to scold you before I get to the topic because "have you considered [thing]" here should be reserved for a problem when someone is ignorant and in a bad, poor-taste way! Which I was not because obviously I "considered" this! You are referring to a silly post of me liveblogging how I got to Messmer, and so of course I addressed Messmer! I should not add long disclaimer about every other lore-relevant thing when I make a basically liveblog-ish remark to "demonstrate" that I do not let other culprits in the story "get away" either! 😣 For example recently I've been focusing on Fire Knights to express my hatred for religious purism, but later in another post about story of Abyssal Woods I've instead focused my vitriol on Hornsent Inquisitors! There is its own post and time for everything!
Okay back to the LORE with light heart now!! This is true of course that both sides are atrocious; the Hornsent basically pulled a mad cult crusade on the shamans, and very ironically long time after their folks were victims of also a religion-driven crusade! This is basically playing extermination ping-pong for generations and regardless of who "started it", none of the innocent people (children, those who disagree and simply belong to [race], distant descendants that did not DO anything etc) deserved to be exterminated by association.
To get more elaborate, one has to take into consideration just how long the conflict has been going on for, and everything else Marika has done besides the Crusade. The people being killed by Messmer's army are most likely generations apart from the people who hurt Marika's! I've mentioned that earlier where I questioned how Grandam and Hornsent (NPC) seem to not even know why Marika/Messmer went with war at them at ALL. Like, both are/were barbaric in their own way, but there's clearly a side that has suffered enough now. Like, this was such a disgusting conflict that even Marika, who was the one who had it ordered in the first place, felt the need to distance herself from it because it WAS the battle without glory or honor. There were the Hornsent, likely a cult or something, who murdered and mutilated the Shamans back in their time, but Marika was the one who started the war and kept it going even after it was clear that the Hornsent had lost, and ruined the lives of many people that weren't even part of the war in resistance like the Hornsent NPC! (One more nitpick about it is that her/Messmer's war was that of exterminating of all who have no Grace, as opposed to some insane idea on how to force them to be reborn to "join" her type of people hfhhhbhf)
Correct me here if I am wrong, but so far we can't know if ALL Hornsent accepted the practices of Bonny Village and their higher religious institution. The Greater Potentate Cookbooks that we find relating to hefty pots describe the author as having been "haunted by the grotesque practice of his village of birth". This guy didn't sound like he was very proud of what his people were doing, and it's coming from someone who was raised there! There's likely a lot of other Hornsent who found the practice just as disgusting, especially amongst those that didn't do it themselves, but we don't know that because most of them are dead and the ones who remain are understandably upset and distrustful of "our" kind!
🤔 It is also because of this why it's more reasonable to call the two leading figures of a cleansing war fascists than an entire race, because we can't just assume that ALL Hornsent are fascists just because their religious order and justice system is fucked up. We just don't have a key leader figure to redirect such sentiments towards, unlike with the Golden Order! Basically confirmed fascists are Marika, Messmer + Fire Knights + Black Knights + troops, various warriors and perfumers and what not who agreed to participate @ the Hornsent who are doing the potting, the Hornsent who did slaughter Marika's village, and remaining corrupt clerics leaders of the religion!
(On a side note, Frenzied Flame is definitely the answer but y'all shouldn't tell Melina on me hfjjchjgdh)
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UPDATE 1 from July 4th that I wanted to add in the OG post instead:
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I have nothing to add here, all of these are rather fair points! I am a little late with adding these screenshots but you've probably seen some more speculation on the Hornsent Inquisitors these couple of days by me and @val-of-the-north in my blog! Here if you missed these: ( x ) ( x ) The gist of it is that seems like Inquisitors are hunting their fellow Hornsent as heretics for serving the "impure" nobles, but regardless of whether it happened before Marika's mentioned "betrayal" or after, it is STILL horrible to harm people for association with those that didn't even do anything wrong :^)
Still applies that calling the whole race fascist doesn't work (heck, the Hornsent who choose to stand with Midra and Nanaya are confirmation of strong exceptions!), but the sentiment is certainly very strongly rooted culturally.
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Sigh.. I am pretty sure there are people somewhere in the fandom that would fall into "hornsent deserved it" pit over this, too. Like "hey, even currently Hornsent culture is a rich soil for Shaman Villages 2.0 and 3.0 and 4.0 and so on to happen, so why not preventively exterminate an inherently dangerous culture?" (..if anyone here really thinks along these lines, please know that this is a dangerous line of thinking and you'll get ideologically groomed into excusing genocides before you know if you don't question what you're implying here) What they needed was more communication with other cultures and adopting more tolerant and humane principles. Seeing that various horn-ness species are just like them rather than sitting in the "we divine they filth" bubble if it is THAT bad. Maybe Marika even HAD the power to provide such change and bridge the gap while she was still a trusted figure to them during her "infiltration", and yet instead of putting and end to terrible traditions with careful planning and diplomacy, she chose the path of revenge..
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Genuinely a depressing point to think about. And yes, absolutely doesn't do her a honor to choose ruin and hate.
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UPDATE 2 from July 11th:
I also completely forgot to back it up that the fellow Hornsent were also facing execution through being stuffed in jars!
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Yeah nah, definitely their people in power were so dangerous that should someone protest against the murder of Shamans and alike, they'd meet the same fate.. Having to swallow what your insane authorities do, with your own life in the line, is also something very real. This situation obscures the number of people who are against it from the superficial look.
I myself live in the country where people can't protest against the government unless they want to go to prison or face other dire consequences, so having to sit quietly for the sake of yourself and your own families for the outside world LOOKS like we don't care and ""'"agree""". :)))) Fun stuff. :') Here, anyone who would ask why Hornsent that disagree with their leaders don't express it would technically be in their right to do so, but most people will protect their own life first, especially if sacrificing it won't really avail anything. Again, Elden Ring is incredibly real with these topics. :')
#ask replies#elden ring#elden ring dlc#elden ring observation#sorry for lack of memes or images I am on 2 hours of sleep and hungry and not home ghygb#but as for the second part it hits close tl home..#like.... i live in a country with VERY interesting kind of political and religious leaders :')#many of us abhor all of this harmful propaganda but can't simply leave the country#I feel like the Hornsent might have had a similar problem#those who loathe their religious leaders have to be quiet or else they might suffer like heretics too#and many might not be fully aware for other reasons#I know from experience how much belonging to a certain nation/place can feel horrible#because of what mad shit people in power do#okay we gotten EMOTIONAL didnt we gfhhggjhhg#and yeah sorry for the first paragraph but it was either addressing that or not answering ask at all#since it put me on the spot to excuse to not seem dumb and I did#but yeah for the future this isn't the best choice of words
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Prismatic Parallel shenanigans
this is probably going to become its own little thing
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this was for no particular reason, just felt like posting
#(additional info#the same friend that helped me with the Val and Raggedy thing also suggested the New Yoke Surge and Kit#their names are Voltage and petrol#they were drawn before the rest so that might explain if they look a little wonky)#the urge to ramble is strong but the lack of motivation is stronger#just realized Nine has the least drawings#Noooooooooooo#this is why you don’t skip bedtime kids#/j#Orquidea gets to be a menace#as a treat#girl will go from giving inter dimensional gods therapy to knocking out her sleep deprived brother by any means necessary#this time? Baseball bat.#Chaos and AG do NOT get along#Nine will leave for two minutes and these idiots will almost kill eachother#that’s enough rambling for now#time for regular tags#sonic prime au#prismatic parallel au#miles nine prower#nine the fox#Orquidea the rabbit#surge the tenrec#Voltage the tenrec#kitsunami the fennec#Petrol the fennec#chaos sonic#alpha grim sonic#Sidus the hedgehog#shhh you didn’t see that
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Ngl atla AUs are so funny in the sense that white people don't really exist in the original avatar universe.
I think these concepts of putting your favorite characters into such a rich and interesting world and the allure of making them benders is fun and I enjoy it myself from time to time but. There is Something be said about inserting white characters into an inherently poc centered story and world that draws inspiration from those cultures, so it falls kinda flat. (And could even come across as tasteless since the story is again inherently a poc one and has such political? I guess. Themes as like the main conflict ignoring it kinda takes away from half the worldbulding or whatever. Whaaateeeverr idk)
Again this isn't like hate to people with atla AUs I enjoy them but idk food for thought.
#yes this is abt httyd aus...#atla#but also applies to all of them. really#im sorry it just makes me laugh like these characters are So white and theres just like a complete lack of effort in regards to like#intersecting those cultural aesthetics in a thoughtful way its kinda embarrassing? idk. like you could go a route w leaning#particularly into nordic cultural aesthetics and be more faithful to it than#canon httyd i think that'd work quite well but on the otherhand might feel whitewash-y idk#this is another seeing smth and having that gut 'youre white arent you' feeling#this isnt hate its not meant to be mean just like an observation and also suggestion to use our critical thinking skills#atla au#white fandom#yeah i suppose#im black tag#obviously. not asian or indigenous so im curious on others' opinions on this#again like food for thought. discussions like this could honestly be a hobby for me atp#its 3am god im tired but cant sleep#moth.txt
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Jergal belonged to a people who procreated by basically sacrificing themselves and being reborn as six new people with their "parent's" memories and experiences.
Jergal used his divine essence to do something similar once as part of a mysterious larger scheme, although that didn't go perfectly (thanks Karsus).
Maybe he's doing something similar. How many deities contain the divine essence of the Lord of the End of Everything?
Kelemvor, Myrkul, Bane, Bhaal, Cyric make 5. If Bhaal creates a sixth being and Jergal seperates that into an independent being, imbues it with yet another portion of his power and nurtures that spark we get six...
Is this what Larian intends? Almost certainly not; but it's fun to get carried away with fantasy conspiracy theories and in my house it might be true.
#God of Fatalism might work for Durge what with the lack of autonomy and “wheel of fate”...#headcanoning.#/durge#/withers#babbling#It's midnight I need to sleep...
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Wips. Please. Please. Work with me here, come on pleeeeaaaasssssseeee.
...No?
*flings doc* NEVER MIND THEN I’LL GO CROSS-STITCH BUNNIES
#I GIVE UPPPPPPP#...for now#raaaaaaaaargh#rambles from the floor#maybe I’ll blame it on the lack of sleep and feeling weird#randomly felt kinda like throwing up all day#not in an anxious way though#just actual. tummy hurts. and not in a monthly way#more like if I have to listen to this kid dip her goldfish in her water and slurp them up again I honestly think I might throw up’ kinda way#oh well I haven’t yet so I guess I’m doing alright
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