#it might be because I was just all over the place in hs. for dumb reasons (an overheating post for another day) I just ditched my friend

[uchiha-gaeshi]

Stay in touch with your friends y’all.

[pynkhues]

Back in hs (over 10 years ago omggg) I used to write fanfic. I really enjoyed it but over time I stopped writing. I’d like to get back into writing but all my interests are in dead fandoms and I know it sounds dumb but I really feel like I need the validation of reviews. In part bc another thing holding me back is I’m afraid that I’m just not any good at writing.

Any suggestions? It’s okay if not. I really enjoy you as a writer and thought there’d be no harm in asking🤍

Hey! Thank you for your kind words, and how exciting that you want to get back into writing! Mm, when you ask for suggestions, are you asking for advice on writing, or in figuring out what fandoms to write for when the ones you're most interested in writing for are dormant?

My suggestion with the latter would be to write for them anyway. I think you'd be surprised at how many people do still check for fandoms that look dead from the outside, but even beyond garnering engagement, starting to write fic in the storyworlds you're most interested in is going to be what keeps you writing.

I think following your interests is one of the most important things you can do as a writer, both in fic and in original writing, because the things that you're interested in are going to be the things you engage with the most curiously, the most creatively, the most passionately, and that is something that comes through in writing to readers. I think you can often tell when someone's chosen to write something because they know it hits a sweet spot in fandom and will likely maximise comments or engagement, and while there's nothing wrong with that per se, I think it can be creatively limiting and usually won't be someone's best work.

It feels such a cliche thing to say, but in writing - particularly in writing fic - you should be your own primary audience. Write for yourself, write the stories you wish other people were writing, hell, write the stories other people are writing, write what you want to read, because that's what fanfic is ultimately for. There's no way to guarantee engagement, let alone validation through writing - I truly still, after years of writing fic, couldn't tell you at the point of posting which of my fics are going to get me 300 comments, or 30 comments, or 3 (and I've had plenty of the latter, trust me, haha) - so focusing on the thing you can guarantee needs to be your own enjoyment and creative fulfilment.

Loving the act of writing, even when it's frustrating, even when it makes you want to tear your hair out, has to be a part of the process, because you're never going to be able to know if people are going to love reading it, or even read it at all.

It's also important to remember that writing is a skill like any other. We tend to romanticise artistic skills, but the reality is that, as with anything else, you get better by doing the thing. You can read about writing (and you should), and reading broadly and thinking about stories is definitely vital, but the only way to really get better at writing is by writing. In a lot of ways, smaller, more dormant fandoms are the best places to start too as sure, you might get less comments, but there'll often be people hungry for fic there which in turn offers you space to develop your skills.

I've actually got a writing advice tag which I've used on an ad hoc basis over the last few years, so there's a bit in there if you're interested. I've cherrypicked a few posts that I've written that might be useful, but if you have other questions, please let me know and I'll do my best to answer. :-)

Writing advice posts

Broad advice for new writers (plot in three questions, cause and effect and character agency)

Advice for new writers: three questions to build your plot

Talking about scale, scope and stakes (concrit of The Batman)

Disruption of ritual and inciting incidents

Tips on finding a character's voice

Tips on getting dialogue to flow / writing conversations

Tips on writing dialogue (Rio from GG, but also general)

Tips on writing sex scenes

On where to break a paragraph

[skoolnites]

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙊𝙣𝙚: Living Up to the Stereotype

previous chapter | Masterlist | next chapter

-> 𝙒𝘾: 1.3k

->𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: Y/n is really on her psychology grind and also subsequently in her soccer mom era

->𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: Swearing and suggestive content is mentioned (ie sex jokes)

->𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚: Y'all I'm sorry I had some last minute school stuff then I wrote most of this after my wisdom teeth surgery and let me tell you my writing sucked. I'm back and wisdom teethless and annoying as ever. Also I'm so sorry if I got some psych stuff wrong I'm a comms major just loved AP Psych in HS. Also with these text messages the first VB GC the blue is hinata but then I realized I'm dumb so in the next images Atsumu is blue.

“When thinking of tests to perform and other theories that have been connected to attraction the first one I consistently found myself researching was the stereotype content model (2002). As a healthy baseline I believe that by trying to match Subject A’s ideal admiration stereotype they will hopefully stereotype me as such. On days Zero to Three (0-3) my main focus will be to start stereotyping as well as create a plan to spend more time with Subject A.”

How hard was it to set up an admiration stereotype, high warmth and high competence, easy.

Warmth could be achieved by some simple support for not only Atsumu but also the rest of the team. Not enough to feel maternal but enough to show she was capable of providing. Reliability was the best way to build up trust. Competence was trickier, Y/n knew she was smart but how to get Atsumu to see that she was smart.

“Hey boys,” Y/n greeting carrying a case of Gatorade for the volleyball team walking over to the bench to set down the case.

“Y/n, you are a godsend,” Suna chuckled, grabbing an orange bottle from the case and passing it to their captain then grabbing one of his own.

The other boys were quick to follow, thanking Y/n then chatting amongst themselves. When Yachi bent down to grab a red bottle she slid into the spot next to Y/n.

“Rumor has it Coach Foster is looking for good tutors for one of his athletes. A little birdie might have put your name down, might want to announce you are available.” The blonde suggested as she held out her hand for a low five which Y/n was quick to comply

“Holy shit Yachi you are the best,” Y/n praised. She could feel the excitement racing up her spine

“Yachi!” Shugo yelled, “Can you help me fill up these bottles?” 

“Yeah I’ll be right over,” She shouted back getting up to help not before sending a little wink towards Y/n

“Oh and Tsumu go to coaches office for a sec please!” The captain called out again. Yachi turned to face Y/n shooting her a quick wink and mouthing “all you babe”. Y/n grabbed her phone and quickly typed out a tweet

./././././././././.

Coach’s office was cool due to the many fans normally making it a great place to congregate but at this moment no amount of cold air would calm down Atsumu’s nerves. He knew he was struggling in a few classes, namely statistics, but it was only because volleyball was his life. UTokyo was his gateway to the Japan National team, a stupid degree in communications wasn’t going to do anything for him once he made the big leagues. 

“I’ve done everything I can do, kid” Coach Foster said, not looking up from his monitor. “Your Stats grade is too low, the Dean informed me that you won’t be able to play in nationals with a failing grade, I have to bench you until you get about a C,” Atsumu’s heart sank

“Coach please, I need this. Volleyball is my life. There are going to be so many scouts at that game. My career depends on that game,” Atsumu begged and Coach Foster turned to hand him a clipboard. The page clipped down was labeled in bold letters, “Tutor Recommendations”. “You want me to get tutored?” Atsumu asked, glancing at the list he saw three names jumping out at him: Kei Tsukishima, Osamu Miya, and Y/n L/n. Tsuki and him got along fine but working with his teammate was a blow to his ego. Samu, easy answer; absolutely not. Yes he is the obvious choice but they’d fight and Atsumu did not want to be patronized by his brother, they left that in high school. Now L/n was not a bad choice, she was smart and he knew a bit about her. Of course those were just the names he recognized from the list; there were a few more names. After a quick twitter and instagram search Atsumu decided against strangers, they all were pre med or like chemical engineering majors and quite frankly those super smart types terrified him, especially the women. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but he knew the smart girls were the hottest and there was no chance he could learn about variables and distribution with steamy tutoring fantasies running through his mind. Y/n was pretty but Atsumu knew her, she wouldn’t go for him and he was pretty sure her and Tsukishima were together. He could handle her. So after practice he grabbed his phone and checked Y/n’s twitter for any tutoring information

It was four am when there was a knock on Atsumu’s door. The disheveled faux blond did not expect to find Y/n, his new tutor, at his door, donned in black tank top and sweatpants, messy hair and glasses slipping down her nose. It was like all of his steamy tutor fantasies had come to fruition. The only thing tying him back to reality was the cold air hitting his bare chest. Y/n fiddled with that paper in her hands while her eyes traveled down his body before landing on his feet. The silence was deafening. Atsumu grew smug as Y/n’s face grew red. She knew he was toned, she knew how hard he trained, she didn’t know she’d be seeing him shirtless this early on into this experiment.

“Um,” The girl fumbled, “So um as we discussed early, these tutoring sessions will be used heavily in my psychology final. I need your written consent for our conversations, online or face to face, to be recorded or documented in some form. I also need to inform you that I am purposefully not telling you about my experiment so as to not skew the results. I will be using deception tactics and need you to sign this form stating that you understand that you are a test subject. The tutoring will be completely real and I will not disregard the fact that you need tutoring. My reactions and actions might be faked in order to shift your emotions. There might be a lasting effect on your emotions and help can be provided for free if you contact me afterwards...” Atsumu was shocked, in a situation straight out of his dirtiest thoughts, Y/n was just spewing information. The girl was still rambling when he took the paper from her hands.

“Just here?” Atsumu asked, pointing at the line for his signature. Y/n nodded, reaching into her sweatpant pocket grabbing a pen. He took the pen and scribbled out a signature.

“Better keep that darlin’” Tsumu winked handing her the paper, “My signatures gonna be worth something someday,” He promptly shut the door leaving the girl stunned but her mission was successful.

“When the tutoring opportunity arose it happened to be the ideal way to build up admiration. If I could prove that I was competent in a domain that Subject A was not, I could stereotype myself as someone above him. Later on I will have to backtrack and set myself up as an equal but for now having Subject A hold me at a higher standard is ideal. An important factor I lacked to acknowledge was that we are both college students. I had not been acting as such, and for this experiment to be successful I need to be my authentic self instead of someone dead set on data. When choosing my next effect to showcase I realized I needed to be active during our tutoring sessions in order to truly get authentic results. I also acknowledge that I have used the SCM unconsciously to stereotype Subject A on my own. A sense of pity has fallen upon my views of Subject A which will also have to be cleared up through other tests as to not create domestic feelings instead of romantic feelings.” 

tags: @milkteeboba, @90s-belladonna, @rosieyama, @buggy-cj

[away-ward]

We all shitting on Alex all which are fair points all, but can we also focus for a second on what douchbag Will was at times. Personally I have conflicted feelings about this guy he can be an absolute sweetheart with a heart of gold one minute and than be a petty little bitch the next.

HS Will (which I think is the true Will) has to be my favourite BC was just an absolute mess, there are moments where you really feel for him and than there are times where you just you just want too strangle him and not the way he would enjoy it.

I mean when he told Emmy that she knew how to take a beating I honestly wanted reach into the book and slap shit out of him. Even if you're mad at someone you don't throw stuff like this into the of a abuse victim especially if you loved them.

And don't even get started on the Trainwreck that was train scene, when he was going on off on Emory throwing Alex into her face of how much he screwred her and how much more fun and stronger she is and than seriously had the nerve to blame her for his shitty life choices and the shit they did Ricks I seriously wanted throw my kindle across the room. 😤

First of all Emory and Alex lives and pains can't even be compared. And secondly Will has no one but himself to blame for the road he walked down to. He chose to do be absolute crackhead, he chose to beat up a cop and film all his crimes, he chose to terrorize Ricka as some twisted payback because he couldn't own up the fact that he and his friends did wrong, he chose to do nothing with his life other than party and screw around while everyone grew up.

If anything he should be the one apologizing to Emory. If his drunken ass didn't beat up a cop and was dumb enough to actually film it Emory would never have been in the position in which her abusive freak of a brother could actually have blackmailed her. Emmy didn't own Will and his friends whom she barely knew and treated her like shit most of time anything much less to pick them over her own bloody grandmother and if Will had even an ounce of self awareness in him he would have gotten that too.

He is sitting there all butthurt that she didn't reach out him, than why didn't his privileged arse bother to even reach her out to her? Why does it have to be Emory to come crawling back to him when non of the shit he pulled and she got dragged into was her fault?

Sorry as much as I love Will he really pissed off at times and Emory deserved better.

Yeah to all of this. Will was a sweetheart and a jerk. He was so sincere in his love for Emory, but he was also irresponsible and immature, completely blinded by his privilege. He never once stepped outside of his life to understand her point of view. To him it was always so simple.

In his head, he seemed to reason: "If she was in pain or hurting, she could have come to me. I could have fixed it." And maybe he did have the money and the influence to change Emory's life, but that takes time to put into place. Time was never on Emory's side. Besides that, it would have tied Emory to him forever. He might not understand why that would be a problem for 17 year old Emory, but we can.

The way I see it, Emory owed Will nothing. As you and many others have said, his decisions were his own. Was he driven by the pain of Emory leaving without relying on him? Yeah. And an explanation might have been nice and could have helped him, kept him from making the choices that he did, but it wasn't owed to him.

But I think ultimately, that's why I liked Will and Emory over the others. Their issues and mistakes were ones I could understand and I could feel the push and pull between both of them. I saw each side's reasoning and thought "yeah, that makes sense".

[drinkyourfuckingmilk]

WAIT! What do you mean you wish you had done nursing straight outta hs?? Im a senior so i could really use any advice you have!

oh no my dude, the point of the post and my tags was that NOW, at age 31, I wish that 18 year old me had done nursing out of high school. instead I took a gap year to save up for a trip to japan, did a year of film school before becoming disillusioned, spent another year and a half taking electives to figure out what the fuck I wanted to do, decided to do psychology because it was always interesting, fumbled my way through psych assuming my difficulty with it was due to lack of intelligence and hard work, got a part-time job at 25 in an emergency department, felt myself being pulled strongly towards nursing after getting actual exposure to what nursing really is, and then ended up graduating with a degree in psych with a minor in crim but deciding I really wanted to do nursing instead of pursuing post-grad psych, and now im blasting through my nursing degree while being on the deans list (honour roll for americanos) because I am genuinely so passionate and invested in nursing that studying it full time as opposed to part-time (like I was with psych) is easy because its so RIGHT for me. 

as much as I wish I’d done nursing straight outta high school in HINDSIGHT so I could have traveled with it pre-pandemic and got more nursing knowledge via experience from it, the point of that post was to say that as much as the benefit of hindsight makes me regret not studying nursing sooner, I NEVER would have even considered nursing for a second at age 18 without having gone through the journey I have. 

we all want perfect progressions for our lives, an ascending line of success and consistent progression, especially for our twenties as that decade is considered post-high school angst, peak youthful beauty and adventure but pre-30s is “ageing horror”. our 20s are sold consistently as our prime years. which is fucking dumb. the reality is, a lot of us have maze-like, non-sequential and imperfect wild journeys to figure out what we really wanna do and sometimes our 20s are just a fucking awful mess or are just a stepping stone to something wonderful that isnt negated by turning 30 which is somehow considered an expiry date of sorts??

I might regret a little bit not doing nursing straight outta high school, but the point is, I was in a totally different place mentally and emotionally and I might not have been a good nursing student or might not have ended up a good or happy nurse if I hadn’t lived through or learned what I have up til this point. 

so my advice is, do what you feel is right for you right now and DONT obsess with regret and what ifs over past decisions. there’s no point in that when sometimes it takes experience, a helluva journey and a change of maturity or mindset in order to get where you never thought you’d end up but where you love when you end up there. 

[timelyowl0]

Brittana/Faberry Fic Recs

Hi! Here’s a list I compiled of some of my all time favorite Brittana and Faberry fics! I was originally going to separate the list by Faberry and Brittana, but many of the stories have both, so instead you can just read the pairings listed for each. They are sorted by multi-chapter complete, multi-chapter incomplete/in progress, and one-shots. Each title is a link you can click on to take you to the fic. All credit goes to their respective authors :)

Also, here’s a quick rating guide in case you needed to know:

GA/PG - General Audience

T - Teen

M - Mature

E - Explicit

NR - Not rated

That’s all, I hope you enjoy!

Multi-chapter (complete):

Between The Lines (T) - 19 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana and Rachel/Quinn - Rachel invites Brittany and Santana to a sleepover. Brittany/Santana with a healthy side of Rachel/Quinn

The Only True Paradises (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - The tortuous evolution of Santana's feelings toward Brittany. See also "Pas de Deux," a companion piece from Brittany's point of view.

Pas de Deux (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Companion piece to "The Only True Paradises." The evolution of Santana and Brittany's relationship from Brittany's perspective.

Faithfully (T) - 5 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "That moment when Santana had sworn, even though she and Brittany were standing at opposite ends of the raised platform…that she could still feel Brittany's energy zinging toward her, like they were connected on the same current." Brittana, Seasons 1 through 5, as told in five increments.

My Girlfriend's Sister's Keeper (T) - 13 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany isn't the only Pierce that has Santana wrapped around her finger. Santana's life with her two favorite people.

Mariposa (M) - 5 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Like a butterfly, Santana's journey out of the closet occurs in stages. From the first time she heard the word gay to the first time she flew free from her chrysalis, she can remember everything.

time passes, in love and in seasons (T) - 4 Part Series - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittana, from the end of junior year and throughout senior year, told through the seasons. Mostly follows Season 3 canon.

Brittana Shorts (GA) - 8 Part Series - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - A collection of Brittana-centric short stories

it’s nice to have a friend (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - They're six when they first meet. It's the first day of school in a crowded classroom and Santana finds herself drawn to the new blonde girl. OR The story of how Brittany and Santana meet and all the significant moments in their lives following the first time they see one another. - sequel

A Matter of Miserable Time (T) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "His voice was deep, quiet, and sure, so calm compared to the last words they had exchanged. Her voice was only a faint whisper as she questioned the man she hadn't spoken to in three years.'Papi.'"

Influence (M) - 26 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany is perpetually cast as the dumb blonde, but the reasons behind her demeanor are more complex than that. She looks back on her childhood, her relationship with Santana, and the life-altering effects the decisions of her youth had on her future.

It’s Not Like I Wanted This to Happen (T)- 101 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana and Rachel/Quinn - Quinn takes a very drunk Rachel home from a party...encounters the Berrys…and herself. This story contains a huge amount of Brittana and a lot of Puck.

Rough Beginnings (M) - 44 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn decides she needs to end this obsession once and for all, but life doesn't always work out the way we want it to. Sometimes it's so much better. Faberry.

Never Asked to Feel Your Halo (T) - 45 Chapters (1/2 in series) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - The thing was, neither of them wanted this-whatever it was, but since when did the Universe care about what Rachel or Quinn wanted? Their cards had been dealt the moment they'd entered that shower together. Now it came down to how well they played them.

Standing on the Edge Dancing in the Flames (M) - 34 Chapters (2/2 in series) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Life isn't all singing and dancing, not even in Glee club. And what if being on top of the pyramid just gives you further to fall. When everyone feels like a frienemy and fathers and faculty and babies and boyfriends complicate EVERYTHING, how are you ever supposed to get anything right? (Book Two of the 'No Halo' series)

The South Side of Anywhere (M) - 47 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Sometimes you fall in love with your eyes closed, and when you open them, the person is someone you never thought it could be. It started with letters, and turned into Faberry.

Somewhere in Between (M) - 77 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Imagine if Faberry happened instead of Finchel. This is a re-telling of every episode as if Faberry were cannon. Each chapter will chronicle each episode starting at the very beginning. Some things will change and some will remain the same. Longer description in first chapter. Also side Brittana. As well as Quinntana friendship, and Puckleberry bromance.

Didn’t See it Coming (M) - 63 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana? - AU HS. After a devastating breakup, Quinn turns to Rachel in need of a friend, and ends up with so much more. - "If, one day, someone asks me how it all started; I'll have to say it was a granola bar that finally did me in." Faberry.

Bet You Didn’t Know That (T) - 19 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Faberry. What she doesn't know, she doesn't need to find out.

Take Me As I Am Seasons 1 & 2 (T) - 48 chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Blaine - The incredibly true adventures of Quinn and Rachel, starting from Sectionals Season 1. It's just like watching the show, if Faberry were the central couple and everything revolved around them! Brittana & Klaine co-star in supporting roles.

Take Me As I Am Season 3 (T) - 26 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Blaine - The continued adventures of Quinn & Rachel as the starring couple of Glee. Some integration of canon events, but mostly this is the story of Faberry and their world! Klaine & Brittana co-star in supporting roles

Blink and You’ll Miss It (M) - 31 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry discover they like each other. Against all odds, will they be able to get together before they tear each other apart?

You’re All I Need (M) - 17 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - A Faberry romance story, set when they are both single but I haven't specified when as I'm not even sure myself but most of the events are from series 3. Points of view will change every few chapters. And that's probably the worst description you've ever read but yeah I can't be bothered to change it.

quarantining or how quinn might lose it, once for all. (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - It starts like the worst horror movie ever but instead of being trapped in the basement of a creepy 50-something year old, Quinn finds herself being trapped in Rachel Berry's basement.

Once More From the Top (T) - 22 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and others - Here's what you missed on Glee: McKinley's Glee Club reformed under the direction of Will Schuester. Rachel tried to recruit the Cheerios but that ended up being a total disaster. It's cool though because she heard Finn Hudson sing in the shower and he's actually really good. She successfully recruits him and now the Glee Club has enough members to be a real thing.And that's what you missed, on Glee!

Outside Hearts (M) - 37 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Rachel Berry's world is about to be turned upside down when one of Hollywood's most sought-after young actresses, Quinn Fabray, abruptly and mysteriously leaves her fame behind, moves to Ohio and tries to have a normal life while attending McKinley High. (Faberry w/ some Brittana)

I See That Ragged Soul Take Flight (M) - 44 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana, Mike/Tina, Kurt/Blaine and Sam/Mercedes - Ensemble cast piece exploring what happens after Season 3. Rachel, Santana and Kurt are in New York together. Quinn is at Yale. Explores adulthood, friendship and long-distance relationships. Eventual Faberry. Also contains, Brittana, Klaine, Tike and Samcedes content, plotlines back at McKinley, and frequent use of Santana POV.

All The Best (T, but I would rate M for descriptive scenes of suicide, eating disorders, rape, etc.) - 80 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - After spending the entire summer away, Quinn is eager to get back to normal and make the best of her junior year. Excited to put everything behind her and start fresh, she struggles to establish a new normal. But when she's least expecting it, Quinn finds support in the most unlikely places and is forced to confront the very feelings that landed her where she is in the first place.

take these broken wings (M) - 4 Part Series - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Sam - Begins in Season one and follows Quinn through her life should she have chosen to keep Beth, realize she is gay, and fall in love with Rachel Berry. The main romantic relationship will be Faberry, with a bit of Hevans and Brittana, but apart from Faberry it will be very heavy on friendship and Quinn&Beth oriented.

the state of dreaming (T) - 3 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Rachel couldn’t help the guilt that bubbled in her chest when she watched Quinn get a prom photo alone. Determined to make it up to her, she invites Quinn over for a sleepover. It becomes a routine. Set immediately after 2x20 (Prom Queen).

Enough to Believe (T) - 2 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Years after Shelby ups and disappears from Lima with Beth, a blonde girl shows up on Rachel and Quinn's doorstep, armed with a lot of questions, and very familiar cheekbones.

you and her loathing this cruel world (M) - 3 Chapters - Pairings: Quinn/Rachel, minor Kurt/Quinn and Kurt/Sam - "Of all the girls he had to have sex with (which really, were none), of course it was someone with a painting of Jesus above her bed, so he knows that his only hope in hell that this will go away is in a negative test result." Season 1 AU; Kurt is pretty sure he's gay, but would like to make sure. Quinn Fabray has similar questions running through her mind. They put their theories to the test, with very much unintended consequences. - sequel

I’ve Been Trying to Reach You (T) - 25 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana, Santana/Puck, Rachel/Jesse and Sam/Tina - After falling pregnant in sophomore year, Quinn Fabray plummets from the top of the teen hierarchy at McKinley High to the very bottom. In an effort to give her a chance to start over, her parents transfer her to Carmel, a private school in the area with a blossoming arts program. It's supposed to be a new beginning, but what she doesn't count on is immediately becoming enemies with the most popular girl in school: Rachel Berry, co-captain of Vocal Adrenaline.

The Lopez Manifesto (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - santana starts writing a rachel/quinn fanfic for everyone at McKinley. it’s also extremely popular as everyone awaits her weekly updates. (usually based on what the girls are doing that week.) quinn is the last to find out and is… pissed.

my heart’s a leather jacket I am waiting to give to someone sweet (T) - 15 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany is McKinley’s resident broody rebel who doesn’t see much point to high school, and who, completely incidentally, just so happens to be kind of a math genius. Santana is Lima's golden child, the perfect and unapproachable only child of public figure Dr. Lopez. She’s also the high school’s enigma; no one actually knows anything about her aside from the fact that she’s cold, distant, terrifying, aloof, and willing to eviscerate anyone who looks at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for her, Brittany is about to get a crash course in the complete mystery that is Santana Lopez when she is asked—or, more realistically, forced—to be Santana's math tutor.

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (T) - 39 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Kurt/Blaine and Tina/Mike - S3 AU. Brittany doesn't believe in unicorns anymore, Rachel's dreams are as dead as the world, Santana is no one's hero…and Quinn? Quinn's just trying to breathe. The world as they knew it is gone -now all they can do is survive. Zombie Apocalypse. Faberrittana Friendship. Slow Burn Faberry. Character Death. COMPLETE

Simple Parts (T) - 13 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - That awkward moment when you travel thirty years forward in time and find out you're married to your high school nemesis? Yeah, it totally sucks...except...maybe it doesn't.

The Lateness of the Hour (M) - 12 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "Brittany has much less to lose. She always has."

half of me (T) - 4 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - a run-in (quite literally) at the bookstore, two broadway tickets, and a seven-year-old in a plaid catholic-school uniform. what has rachel gotten herself into? future AU where quinn has beth and rachel makes it on broadway.

April Fools (T) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Santana recruits - forces - Rachel to help her prank Quinn. All she has to do is pretend that a love potion has caused her to fall madly in love with the cheerleader. Simple, right? Wrong. Faberry.

Stars & the Moon (M) - 15 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - In the midst of dealing with Beth's adoption, Quinn ends up working on a summer community theatre production with Rachel. Hilarity ensues. Just kidding.

Love Me Any Less (M) - 25 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Junior year becomes the beginning of something no one expected, and maybe the beginning of something a few can't understand how they ever lived without. Starts mild but progresses to M rating. First fic ever! Faberry.

Better Where It’s Wetter (M) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Rachel and her dads are going on a LGBT family-friendly cruise for the summer and Rachel's told she's can bring a friend. Who else to bring but Quinn?

Like a Seal Upon Your Heart (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana? - Quinn Fabray is Daddy's little girl and the perfect Christian. She CAN'T be gay. But then her friendship with Rachel Berry starts to change...

Somewhere in Brooklyn (M) - 47 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana and Brittany have been trying to get pregnant for a year without any luck. What happens when a teenage foster child and positive pregnancy test land in their laps on the same day? A unique journey of motherhood ensues.

Multi-chapter (incomplete/in progress):

Everyone's Gonna Know Now (T) - 8 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - 3/4 in series - When Santana confronted Finn about outing her, his response was, "The whole school already knows." That was pretty much true. This story is about the first moment or incident in which each member of Glee - and a few others - discovered Santana's secret.

Be Okay (M) - 2 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - “Kurt doesn’t know why he does it. It’s not as if he and Santana had ever had anything resembling a friendship, but he feels drawn to her, feels connected to the anguish in her voice as she realized that her biggest secret in the world was about to be revealed.“ This is the evolution of Kurt and Santana’s friendship taking place over a series of one-shots.

looks like a girl but she's a flame, so bright she can burn your eyes, better look the other way, you can try but you'll never forget her name (M) - 5 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - santana lopez writes down the story of her life for a reunion project set for the glee club by none other than rachel berry. aka, a deep dive into santana's life told through her eyes. very santana/brittana centric.

No One Left to Blame (M, read tags) - 30 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn Fabray is well-versed in keeping the truths of her family and her past firmly hidden away. But, her efforts prove to be moot when Rachel Berry, armed with her own secrets of the past, arrives at Dalton Academy and manages to turn both their worlds upside down - or, perhaps, right way up. Faberry. Trigger Warnings.

I’m not breaking, I won’t take it (M, read warnings) - 2 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor Quinn/Santana - Santana gets up and starts toward her, “Jesus, what happened to you?” she mumbles, but she's softer than she was moment before. It's obvious that she’s concerned. Quinn chokes down a sob and then admits, “There’s something wrong with me.”“Hey, listen. Whatever it is, you’re going to be fine." Santana is still not getting it, but she’s rubbing soothing little circles on Quinn’s shoulders. There really must be something wrong with her too, because then Quinn is lunging forward and then she’s kissing Santana. Quinn feels her freeze, but then Santana relaxes and she’s kissing her back. or, a study in quinn fabray.

no love like your love (T) - 5 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Blaine/Sam - Following the death of her mother, Rachel Berry assumes guardianship of her six-year-old brother, Daniel. After a cross-country move for his sister's job, the first friend Danny makes is a soccer-playing, lucky fin having, firecracker of a girl named Beth.

Song of Mine (M) - 18 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana Lopez, the new Music teacher at a religious private school in Indianapolis, meets Brittany Pierce, the resident Math teacher. A love story with a happy ending. Promise.

Girls Over Flowers (NR) - 14 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana - Dalton Academy—a school of prestige, refinement and the country's wealthiest students—houses the famous F3. When "commoner" transfer student, Rachel Berry directly offends F3's leader, Quinn Fabray, she becomes their target. Mayhem ensues.

we were built to fall apart (then fall back together) (T) - 8 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Rachel and Quinn haven't seen each other for seven years and neither thought they'd see the other again. They certainly didn't see themselves starring together in a Broadway musical, as each other's love interests.

A Different Life (E) - 33 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Finn/Rachel and Kurt/Blaine - Canon!Divergent Brittana. Santana and Brittany move to New York after high school. Everything is going perfectly until Brittany gets a phone call that changes everything. Seven years later, Santana has a daughter and she and Britt haven't seen each other...Canon until 3x16ish. No Louisville, no second senior year.

you get too close you’ll get a royalty high (so breathe it in to feel the love) (T) - 9 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Sam/Mercedes, Mike/Tina, Kitty/Artie and Kurt/Blaine - "Alright," she began uneasily. "I'll do it. I'll go to the dumb school."Her parent's smiles beaming back at her were almost enough to make her think this could possibly be a good idea, but the nerves surging in her stomach said otherwise. Boarding School/Royalty Brittana AU

One-shot:

Tattoo (T) - Oneshot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "She soaks it in for a few seconds—this night, this place, these friends, this family room floor, this girl—before she says it back." Post-3x11. Brittana.

Eden (T) - Oneshot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany and Santana teach Joe about love. 4K

Riding in Cars With Girls (M) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - After Quinn quit Glee club and joined a band Rachel feels the gap Quinn has left and sets out to get her back, whatever the cost. But what happens when Quinn's only condition involves her car and Rachel's lips on hers every day at five? Punk!Quinn

and things we’re all too young to know (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Five vignettes set after the point when Brittana become girlfriends. Not too many people would guess it, but Brittany knows that loving Santana is the easiest and best thing in the world to do; Santana is just the best person to love.

My Friends Say That I’m Falling In Love (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany and Santana spend the week leading up to Valentine's Day giving Mercedes grief about her date. Brittana romance, Brittanacedes friendship. Mouseverse. One-shot.

And What Would You Say If I Wrote the Whole Thing Out for You? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Some things have changed a lot since Sam left McKinley and some things haven’t really changed at all. Set circa 3x08.

The Landslide Brought Me Down (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Our girls’ story. Sweet lady kisses, Landslide, their separation, the night of Prom Queen, Songbird, Santana’s Abuela’s rejection, the night after Santana learned about the political ad, Brittany’s senior year falling apart, the lights of New York, and other scenes.

seven (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - A companion piece to 'it's nice to have a friend'. Takes place after the first scene in the second chapter - can be read separately to 'it's nice to have a friend'. Basically just childhood fluff that examines their friendship and the items they connect to their friendship.

baby you don't gotta fight (i'll be here til the end of time) (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - She sees red for all of last period, a strange twinge of pain in her chest because all these people think they know Santana but they’re all wrong. or: three times Brittany tells people they've got Santana all wrong and the one time she tells Santana

The Unicorn Tapestries (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - We lie on our stomachs on my pale blue sheets, a book lying open in front of us that we bend our heads over, sunlight all over the page and bringing bits of gold out in your skin..

But You Could Sing (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Why am I always the one who tells bedtime stories? Because your stories are prettier, BrittBritt. But you can tell real ones. Like what?

Colors (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - The sunlight in my room shines from the south. The way I know: when I lean far out my window, the sun rises on the side where I can feel my heartbeat, and sets in the direction of my writing hand.

You’re Something Else (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - 'Quinn gets the impression she and Rachel are finally on the same page about what may or may not be happening between them. All she really knows is that it's colourful.'

Raising the Bar (M) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor/implied Brittany/Santana - Quinn never expected that the best matchmaker would turn out to be a lumpy pullout couch.

the one with the friends reference (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, minor/implied Brittany/Santana and minor/implied Kurt/Blaine - "You can see it. Quinn standing in front of you, as close as she can get without touching you and saying, 'Are you attracted to me?'" Faberry. Post-season six.

Blame it on the Alcohol (or the gay, whatever) (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor/implied Brittany/Santana - “I can’t believe what you did to my body, I used to have abs!” - In which one sentence is totally incorrect and causes chaos and havoc and Faberry feelings to happen. Also known as drunk Rachel is kyoot and Finn is stoopid.

could you pass in love? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - “'Quinn Fabray, I will divorce you, don’t think I won’t!'” In which Rachel and Quinn get married, sending them into a possibly out-of-character feelings frenzy . Season Three. Faberry.

Do You Wanna Know How This Story Plays Out? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - It's not her fault that you feel the way you do about women, you know that, and you knew that then, too. But you've been angry at Rachel Berry for making you feel things you wanted to lock away for years, and it was far too easy to put all of the blame on her to avoid dealing with your own feelings. It wasn't and isn't fair, but it was about protecting yourself and it makes it a little easier to bear. - OR - After everything implodes with Finn, Quinn moves in with Rachel. They make out a lot without ever talking about how much more it means to both of them. Introspective Closeted!Quinn POV from second-person.

you succeed at being mine (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Kurt/Sam - Sequel to 'you and her loathing this cruel world'.

This Must Be The Place (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana is eight years old when her Tio Carlos joins the Army. Or the less-cracky-than-you-might-expect Glee/The Losers crossover where Cougar is Santana's uncle. (If it tells you anything, i nearly titled this 'Ohana Means Family.')

This Modern Love (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "How do you know when you're dating someone?"

Beth’s family tree (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - "Now that being said, my family tree is composed by both my biological family and my adoptive family" Beth explains easily enough as she clicks the mouse. But then the next slide appears and the teacher gapes at all the information, names, colours and arrows in the diagram.

pictures of you, pictures of me (hung upon the wall, for the world to see) (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - "Quinn looked around her room again. She'd never noticed it before, but she had a lot of pictures of Rachel." or: a faberry oneshot set between seasons 1 and 2 where Quinn reflects on a series of moments with Rachel that led to where she is now

anything could happen (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - She stared down at the test in her hand. The line was faint, disappearing depending on the angle. It was possible she was just seeing things, but still. She pulled out her cell phone, tears running down her flushed cheeks. It felt like the earth could open up at any second, just swallow her whole. The line rang. Once, twice, she cursed quietly. She sucked in a breath as she heard a click signifying the call had connected."Hello? Rachel?" Her voice cracked. "Quinn. I need your help." A Faberry-centric rewrite of Rachel's season 4 pregnancy scare

Frannie’s View (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - When Frannie was a child she did everything she could to make her father happy. She was a daddy’s girl through and through. She was quiet and never disrespectful. She went to church every Sunday with her mother and father and prayed every night. Frannie had a lot of friends at school and was popular and well liked. She did very well in school though her participation grades were always low. Daddy told her women were supposed to be quiet and always treat their husbands with respect. She was a princess and he was the King. He ruled the house. Frannie absolutely hated the way her father treated her little sister. Frannie desperately tried to change Lucy. She thought if Lucy could be better then their father would be happier, nicer. OR A journey from Frannie's perspective of Lucy/Quinn and Quinn's sexuality and later feelings for Rachel.

According to Judy (PG) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - How Judy Fabray deals with Quinn's infatuation with Rachel.

[love-amihan]

| ʜᴏᴍᴇ | ᴊᴊᴋ | ᴀᴏᴛ | ʜǫ | ꜰɪʟᴏ | ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛs | ᴍɪᴍɪ |

TO THE MOON AND BACK // TETSUROU KUROO

word count: 1.3k+

song used: i see the light by mandy moore, zachary levi

amihan’s note: big brain time, this is kinda connected with the kenma fic, it's not really a necessity to this fic but yeah thought i would connect the two and two together, happy reading!

masterlist: 300 milestone

kuroo + high school sweethearts + "here’s my jacket"

long-time boyfriend!kuroo x fem!reader

“how did you two meet?” lev asks in curiosity, leaning on his palms while looking at the two of you.

the group groans in chorus, “what?” the tall first-year asks, “did i say something wrong?” he innocently asks.

“you’ve already opened the topic,” morisuke says while pinching his side, kuroo smiles widely and puts his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.

you hide your face behind your hands and groan loudly. “why do you have to ask lev?” you say while cringing on the inside.

“oh come on, it’s a fairy tale like story. you we’re my damsel in distress, my queen” he emphasizes the endearment with a teasing tone.

he brings up his free hand gesturing to nothingness, “tangled got nothing on us,” he says with all confidence and looks back at their tall middle blocker.

“once upon a time,” he baby talks, you push kuroo’s face away.

“stop that,” you grumble, heat comes rushing up your face. kuroo chuckles and rests his arm around you, obliging your request.

“okay, this is how i met y/n. you better listen closely or else you’ll miss something important” he says while pointing at lev, who in return, nods enthusiastically.

“say, would you be interested in going on a blind date? i know this girl,” morisuke offers with a soft smile. kuroo takes a sharp breath, “oh, i don’t know. kinda busy with being a good captain,” he says with a shrug which earn him a smack at the back of his head.

morisuke rolls his eyes and turns on his heel, “be ready tomorrow, i’ll text you the time and place” with that said, the libero leaves the middle blocker and doesn't wait for an answer.

“hey, isn’t that illegal?! i haven’t given you my consent!” kuroo shouts after him.

“what are you saying, yakkun?!” kuroo exclaims on his phone, “i said i’ll give you the time and place, i didn’t say anything about setting all of it for you,” he nonchalantly replies.

“what do i do then-” kuroo's complaints get interrupted by a tap on his shoulder.

he turns around and sees you, “am i late?” you sheepishly smile at him. one thing kuroo hates more than anything is when people don’t show up on time but i guess, for you he can work on that.

you slightly tilt your head to the side, kuroo who still has his phone pressed against his ear is staring at you with his mouth agape.

“if you’re not gonna answer, i’ll be hang-” before morisuke could push the red button, kuroo beats him to it.

the raven-haired clears his throat and shove his phone inside his pockets, “yeah, no. just in time, you ready?” his charming smile greeting you, “i see,” you sigh in relief. “may i?” he offers a hand which you gladly accept.

kuroo leads the way, hands intertwined with yours. “where are you taking me, uhhh… uhm,” you halt your steps and furrow your brows in concentration, eyes focused on him. “kuroo, tetsurou kuroo” he fills in for you.

“kuroo-san,” you say while nodding, “kuroo’s alright and i’m taking the lovely lady somewhere around here. it’s a surprise, you’ll have to find out later,” his smiles cheekily while winking at you.

morisuke might have not set up a place for your date but he knows this one location he loves the most. it might be a risky move to bring someone he’s only met once but his guts tells him otherwise.

a small gasp comes past your lips, the view is beautiful.

“before i continue the story, i gotta say. i’m such an innovative genius,” kuroo boasts. you nudge his shoulder a little, “just continue the story, nerd” kuroo pouts at your statement.

the first date happened by the side of the lake, kind of recreating the tangled lake scene except it’s daylight and there’s no lantern nor were you two on a boat. “do you like it?” his voice trembles slightly.

“how do you know this place?” your gaze fleeting from his eyes and back to the view, in awe of its beauty. kuroo lets out a deep breath and walks beside you, “i consider this my escape place.”

your head snaps in his direction, “you trust me to know this place?... in our first date?!” you look at him with wide eyes.

kuroo shrugs, “are you saying there’s gonna be a second?” he kicks a random pebble, his lips spreading to a playful smile.

he looks at you in the eyes with a brow raised, you break eye-contact, your face heating up. “so… escape place huh?” you try to subtly change the subject, he hums, having fun seeing you flustered.

the date went great, you got to know him better. he’s a sweet guy despite the rumors surrounding him overall a laid-back person.

kuroo holds up a finger, smiling ear to ear, he’s enjoying your company as much as you enjoy his. he’s about to utter his words when big drops of water land on the top of his head.

“oh you gotta be kidding me,” he mutters under his breath. the rain starts pouring down on the two of you, “it really has to be right at this moment?” you giggle at his words while he takes off his jacket.

“here’s my jacket,” he says while standing up. after you put on his jacket and wear the hood, he takes your hand in his, “are you a runner?” you shake your head to him, “sadly, i’m not.”

“how about dancing?” he reaches out for your other hand, “what? kuroo…” he rests both your hands around his neck and smiles down at you, his hands making their way to your hips.

he clears his throat before singing, “all those days,” his eyes finding yours, deep soothing voice filling your ears. “chasing down a daydream,” his voice lingering, bringing a hand up to cradle your face.

both your hips sways side to side as his voice sets the pace, the rain pouring down on the two of you. “all those years,” his thumb gently caressing your cheek.

the golden-like light shining down on you, perfectly framing your features, “living in a blur” you close your eyes leaning to his warm touch.

“i gotta say, you’re lucky to have your own flynn rider,” kuroo smugly claims. you scoff and roll your eyes at him, “if anything, you’re more of a maximus than flynn.” your boyfriend gasps at you and looks genuinely hurt by your statement.

“also, i can’t believe you gave me your jacket and decide to get us drenching wet from the rain,” you say while looking him in the eyes, “yeah that was pretty dumb, not gonna lie,” kenma mumbles while playing with his handheld game console.

“it was not! it’s very sweet and that wasn’t what you said when we were having our disney moment,” kuroo faces you, the arm around your shoulder is now pointing at you. “yeah because i don’t wanna be rude.”

as the two of you have your mini banter, kai turns to morisuke, “maximus has a better personality than flynn though… right?” the libero chuckles, “let him be, flynn does perfectly portray that tall bastard anyway.”

your mini argument is temporarily cut off by your sneeze, kuroo sighs, “you forgot your jacket again?” you shake your head, too stubborn to admit. “i’m okay, as i’m saying, you’re maxi-” he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it around your shoulder.

“wear it then we can continue,” he says while looking at you sternly, you begrudgingly wear the jacket and cross your arms while huffing.

“is this normal?” lev who’s watching the scene unfold, asks the group, they all nod in sync, not batting an eye at the couple.

as lev turns to look back at the couple, he can’t believe how you were just having a mini banter not moments ago and now you're all over each other.

“love you,” you mutter, snuggling closer to his side, “and i love you... to the moon and back,” he replies, leaving a kiss on top of your head.

-to embrace hs sweethearts

you take kuroo's hand as he leads you in the center of the dance floor, the music changing to a slower song, the instrumentals familiar to your ears.

kuroo takes the mic that's given to him and smiles at you, looking deeply into your eyes. "all those days," his beautiful voice can be heard by everyone.

your eyes soften looking back with the same overflowing love, "i love you," you mouth to him as he continues, "watching from the windows."

soon, rain special effects start pouring down just outside where you and him won't get wet, "you even got the rain effect?" you gasp, mouth agape. he nods, lyrics continue to flow past his lips.

copyright © 2021 by love-amihan all rights reserved. do not repost in other platforms. reblogs are welcome and highly appreciated! <33

taglist: @arrianao @tendo-sxtori @milkteeboba @lumpiang-toge @chibishae34 @emeraldscloud @tohman @kirakirasaku @sushi-guro @duhsies @foxxtrot-116 @gay-bitch23 @crybabyjabby

[i-need-entertainment]

Secret dating with Akaashi in HS

Okay, so I went with Headcanons because I felt like I could do much more with those, I hope that’s okay!! If you would prefer a oneshot, feel free to message me!! Thank you so much for requesting!

Character: Akaashi x reader

To be completely fair, it’s not like you didn’t want anyone to know.

...you just didn’t want anyone to know...

You were the manager for the team, hence how you and Akaashi met.

You, Y/n L/n, and your boyfriend, Keiji Akaashi, have been dating for a good 4 months.

That’s 4 MONTHS no one has so much as suspected that the two of you were dating.

At first, it was to keep it low key.

You and Akaashi both loved each other and that was all that really mattered,

But when after 2 months no one had figured it out, it became almost like a little game to you and Akaashi; waiting to see who would figure it out first.

Everytime anyone showed any signs of suspicion you and akaashi made a tally.

....you also may or may not have placed some bets..

So far Washio was in the lead with 5 tallies and 20$ to his name.

Back to the story~

You and Akaashi did your best to keep it a secret.

You saved PDA for the security of your own homes or places you both knew you were alone.

You avoided having any conversations about dates out loud around team members, instead either texting about it or meeting up away from the gym.

You honestly didn’t know how long you guys were going to keep this up, but to say it was entertaining would be an understatement.

Especially because you both knew that Konoha, Komi and Bokuto shipped you both hard. 

But everytime they said anything you both played dumb, sticking with the old, ‘he/she doesn’t even like me back...’ and being all blushy and shy.

When in reality you guys would cuddle and kiss shamelessly when you were alone.

This all went on for a total of 7 months...

7 months of the team not figuring it out.

That is until one day, Konoha had had enough.

He waited until the Tokyo teams had a joint training camp, so he could recruit more members for his plan.

He waited until the practice games of the day were over, so the kids were all on their own time.

He acted like he had lost his phone, asking some people to help him.

Since he was a good friend of the both of you, you and Akaashi agreed to help him.

He sent you both into the storage room, asking if you guys could look in there.

You both went in there and turned on the lights, about to ask him where it might be when Saru and Komi closed the doors, the *click* of the lock echoing in the small room.

Yours and Akaashi’s eyes widened as he tried the door, groaning when it was indeed locked.

“Konoha, let us out.”

“nO! Not until you two idiots confess! It had been months and neither one of you have had the guys to do anything about it!!”

Akaashi grimaced, running a hand down his face in frustration while you gasped, brining a hand up to cup your mouth to stop the shocked giggles from escaping.

Giving you a weary glance Akaashi sighed.

Leaning against the door, he spoke.

“Konoha..?”

“Yes Akaashi?”

“I’m not confessing.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t. We’re already dating.”

. . .silence. There was absolute silence from the other side before a distinct gasp (from Bokuto of course) and a ‘I told you’ from Washio.

After a minute, Konoha opened the door, eyes narrowed, “Explain.”

So, you and Akaashi explained to the team (and others who had become invested lol) that at first you had kept it under wraps for privacy, then you just wanted to see how long it would take for them to notice.

Most of them laughed it off, they knew you guys didn’t mean any harm by it.

Then there was Bokuto.

Bokuto who looked like he had been told the most shocking piece of information known to man.

...It was fun explaining that to him...

[bisluthq]

Bruh this whole PhD debate is so dumb. Some anons really don’t get it. The whole point of a PhD is that you are conducting *original* research, with a fat dissertation (70,000+ words usually) to accompany it.

To be able to conduct research/write an original dissertation, an undergrad, and in most cases a masters, is absolutely necessary because you need to UNDERSTAND the field you plan to conduct your original research in. Wanting to change your major and THEN pursuing your PhD makes no fucking sense - how are you gonna understand the academic field enough to investigate it in an original manner?? Make it make sense.

I absolutely agree that undergrad degrees should be entirely free due to education inflation (where once upon a time a HS diploma was enough for a job but now you need higher qualifications just be considered). PhD being usually free is also fine, given that the that people who pursue them do so because they’re (in most cases) genuinely interested and passionate about their work, work that hopefully paves the way forward for something in one way or other. In some cases, people get paid themselves because at that point it isn’t *just studying anymore - it’s active work and research in a particular field where the goal is hopefully make a difference.

Paying willingly / getting into further debt for a PhD seems so dumb imo, with the amount of work that you’re expected to put in. If someone didn’t get in, there was probably a decent reason, given that they’re generally less competitive than UG and MA and require someone reallyyy passionate. I don’t get the problem some of these anons have tbh. You’re absolutely right and some people don’t like it. It’s like some of them are obsessed with the idea of a PhD and not the PhD itself which takes an unfathomable amount work in imo. It’s not just someone random qualification that someone/daddy’s money can get you - it’s highest honor for a reason.

Anyways rant over, hopefully everyone will think twice or just think in general before hurling random opinions at someone.

Right. I didn’t expect this to be such a controversial opinion. In the US (and most places tbh but the US actually had one of the better systems because the schools are organized) it is perfectly possible to get a PhD without paying in a cent and while getting your living expenses covered.

Will you have to work? Yes. Will you be earning 6 figures? No lol. You won’t be guaranteed that even after you’re done if you go into academia like this isn’t a high paying field tbh. Is it likely you’ll have to pick up side gigs? Ya but also like every other person in their mid 20s-mid 30s has to pick up side gigs at this stage. Late stage capitalism and all that.

Is there ANY problem in a school asking you to pay back money if you fuck up? No. There literally isn’t. You didn’t need to do this. It might not be your fault, it might suck, but like that’s life.

If you took out loans for it then that’s your own dumb bitch decision.

If your parents paid for it then good for you and like tbh your rich stupid ass helped pay someone else’s way lol.

Undergrads and professional schools should imo be free. It’s fucked that someone can’t be a doctor because they can’t afford it.

It’s literally not fucked at all if you can’t get a PhD because you’re not able to get into a program. Don’t do a PhD then.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #321

i’m exploring the deepest recesses of tumblr to unearth super old surveys, so you can expect an onslaught of ‘em.

When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower? I drive the same speed, even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? My sister's place. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you? No; only my parents and immediate sisters live here. Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like? Especially where I live, fried chicken. It's disgusting. Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Numerous, actually. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have a driver's license, never mind anything else. What job does you significant other have? I’m single. When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school? I did my homework right away; well, after having a snack. After that, I was most likely on the computer playing Neopets or Webkinz, or something on the PlayStation. Is your favorite movie part of a series? Yes. Have you ever played in a water puddle? Sure, as a kid. I loved that. Have you ever played in a mud puddle? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain? Yes. He did it purely to be romantic, lol. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain? No, thank fuck. Have you ever had to attend summer school? No. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C? Yikes, no, not that high. The highest we usually get is below 110. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate? Hot. It sucks. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”? No. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them? Oh, absolutely as a kid. Dad would rake a pile just for us kids. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot? At least once, yes. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, where the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally? Yep, especially when I visited Sara and we went on a walk. It was fucking outrageous. Safe to say I didn't last long on that walk. Has your/or have you been in a car that was stuck in a snowstorm? No. What does your MySpace profile look like? I haven't seen it since that site was still "a thing." I do remember, however, that it was COVERED in meerkats, haha. Pictures, facts, etc. And my page song was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmao. Do you like living in the country or city better? Country, 100%. I'm not a city gal by any means. Do you have a big backyard? No, it's very small. Not used to that at all. What is your favorite Adam Sandler movie? I don't know, he's in too many to choose lmao. What was the last thing that surprised you? Apparently a rocket crashed today after launch. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. I... didn't even know those existed lmao I feel dumb. Who was the last person that said something that warmed your heart? I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain my niece or nephew would be involved there, haha. What is your favorite park? I don't have one. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you believe anyone is asexual? ???????????? Yes???????????? Were you abused? No. Have you ever missed a deadline? Yeah. Can you tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart in pictures? I haven't seen them in an eternity, idk. Describe your fondest memory: I don't really want to... but I'll entertain the question. It's hard to choose, and they just about all include Jason. I think what I hold closest though was our dance to "Stairway to Heaven" after prom in the headlights of his car in my front yard. It's something that physically hurts to remember. What song makes you cry every time you hear it? Let's set aside my "trigger songs" for this. "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade does it very easily. How often do you break your promises? I almost never do. I don't bullshit around with promises. I've only ever broken ones I'd forgotten I'd made, if my memory serves me right. How long do you take in the shower, on average? Not even 10 minutes. Do you have your MySpace/Facebook profile set to a "friends only" setting? Yes. Did your last kiss mean anything? Why or why not? Of course it did. I care very, very deeply for her. Are your summers usually boring and relaxing, or busy and interesting? "Summers are hot and miserable." <<<< mood Tell me a crazy thing you did as a child. I don't really think I did anything "crazy" as a child, just weird. Like pretending to be a father penguin arranging rocks to mock a nest. I was fuckin weird. How many best friends do you have? One. When you’re upset, who do you wanna talk to the most? Either Sara, Mom, or nobody. Opinion on Daughtry? They're nice. "No Surprise" is positively beautiful. Do you like country music? Noooooo. What’s been the most awkward situation you've been in? Okay, possible TMI. Basically, Jason's parents arrived home way, way earlier than they were supposed to and my panicky ass couldn't find my clothes quickly, and when I finally did, I had to dress as quickly as possible in his tiny-ass closet while he distracted his mom and dad lmfao. I'ma just say it was a very close call to me melting into a mortified puddle. I look back on it and laugh now, but the absolute, throbbing fear I felt was NOT funny back then lmfao. Don’t you love that feeling when you look at someone and you just melt? <3 That is genuinely one of the best feelings in the entire world. Do you prefer male or female singers? I have no preference. So what are you planning for this summer? Nothing, really... Who knows where the Covid situation will be then. What’s a good book? In general for absolutely anyone, Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It is a book about pacifism that is so very deep and emotional. For women, I highly recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. As a woman myself, the concept of the book is terrifying, to be reduced to reproduction machines without rights, so it's something you can really feel as a female. It's a book that definitely makes you want to fight for women's rights. Is it awkward for you when your parents talk to you about boys etc… No. I'm a grown woman. Now if she asked about my sex life (if I had one), I'd feel a bit weird, but not very. Do you like it when guys play with your hair? Yeah. Ever cried when you had to say goodbye to someone? Well of course. Over multiple people. Have your parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Indeed. Do you have a blood donor’s card? Yep. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? I had to before surgery. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No. What kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? It was via phone, but I talked with my psychiatrist a few days ago. Does your ex still think about you? I'm sure Sara and Girt do, as they're my good friends, but idk if either think of me romantically. I would hope Jason at least remembers me with some degree of care in his heart... As for Juan, Aaron, and Tyler, idk if they do and I don't really care. What has been bothering you a lot lately? My weight. Are you trustworthy? I think so, yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? Yeah, but it definitely depends on the situation. Which literary character would you dress up as, if you had to choose one? Speaking of The Handmaid's Tale, for Halloween one year, I really, really want to take some cool photos of me dressed as a handmaid with a (obviously fake) blood splatter over my stomach. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Being born with the mom I have, probably. I have no idea. None. Of where I'd be without her. Do you miss college? Sigh, sometimes... but I'm not going back. No chance. Dropping out three times due to my mental state hints at a clear pattern. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? Yeah, accidentally. Except with my physical science teacher in HS that eventually became my "other mom" and most recently our landlord, even. I call her "Mama" sometimes. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? It was a wolf whose name I don't remember. What color was your nursery when you were a baby? No clue. What is your favorite arcade game? I desperately wanna go to a location that has Silent Hill: The Arcade. :/ That's on my bucket list. It's very rare. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don’t have any plants to water. What is your favorite fall drink? I don't drink any "fall" drinks. Favorite winter drink? Hot chocolate! Favorite spring drink? There are "spring" drinks? Favorite summer drink? Gimme a nice, cold margarita. Name three creative people you know. Sara, Tez, and Mini are some of the most creative people I've ever written with. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Mark in like a million different ways, I look up greatly to Jeffree Star's work ethic (say what you will about him personally, but holy shit does mama WORK), and Emzotic for her incredible growth after trauma that's left her more confident than ever, and she's amazing with animals and just a darling overall. Does anyone know who your current crush is? Yeah, I'm pretty open about it. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully, no. Which song describes your life? I relate to "Get Up" by Mother Mother a lot at this point in my life. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? Probably because I open up so slowly/am very secretive of myself when someone might be trying to get close. People have also criticized my laziness. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? YouTube. At least I think Tez was the last person I gave my number to. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Hunter, my neighbor growing up. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My therapist. I had to leave group due to severe abdominal cramping. It was just my period, but he just wanted to check. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a soda back when I was still in school. Has anyone given you butterflies recently? Actually yeah; I had a memory of Sara that caused 'em to revisit me. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I'm going to exclude my puppy-dog crush (Dylan) and talk about my first "real" crush, Sebastian. I liked him because we had very similar interests, he was really friendly, nice, and funny, and he clearly trusted me a lot because he actually confided in me regarding the relationship he was in that was struggling and causing him a lot of pain. I thought he was attractive, too. Ngl, I wonder sometimes where we could have gone if he hadn't been dating the girl, because I'm 90% sure he was into me, too. In current times, he very recently got engaged! Super happy for him. Which parent do you identify with the most? My ma. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Scrambled eggs, I guess. That's just about all I CAN make, haha. My family likes 'em. I always use American cheese, salt, pepper, and a bit of hot sauce. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Admitting I RP. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Of actually important things, gay rights. If we're talkin' passionate about anything, then the answer's meerkats, duh. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? A rival photographer that lives here. I absolutely hate admitting that, but yeah, I'm extremely envious of her. She gets way more traffic than I do by a long shot, even though I, from a completely modest and honest standpoint, genuinely think I do better work than her. It's just frustrating. All about who you know in this business. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Supposedly our milk expired on the 1st, but it smells just fine? And mind you, I am very cautious with expiration dates, and I've found milk typically starts to smell bad a few days earlier than the date to me. This jug is an outlier. What are your favorite style of underwear? I'm a fat old lady that likes high-waisted underwear. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Maybe "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper. I could name tons, though. How about the sweetest song? Maybe "Easy to Love You" by Theory of a Deadman. Another song I struggle to listen to because it was one of mine and Jason's "songs." Do you know how to play dominoes? No. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? Not in the least. Why or why not? I'm just wasting time. Doing nothing with true meaning, and I seem unable to get over this low point I'm in. How many bones have you broken? One. Well, I was told "fractured," but apparently that's the same thing as broken? Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah, multiple things. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Animals like cats or dogs. Pets, basically. I would feel WAY too weird. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? If I'm embarrassed by it, why would I share it with whoever reads these? What is the most important memory you have and why? When I decided it was truly time to move on from Jason. Why that's my most important is obvious: it changed my mindset and life in general. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? God, I hope Jason read my apology email I last sent him. I finally accepted I did wrong, too, and I want to know that he knows that. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My youngest niece's first birthday was mid-February. What’s a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? The violin. Do you play that instrument? I wish I could. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) Just spaghetti noodles, ig. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Who sent the last e-mail you got? My PHP therapist sent me the Zoom link to our group session. Do you have a favorite shape? Out of basic ones, circles. What’s the last song you bought/downloaded? I don't recall. Probably something by 3TEETH. Have you ever been on a trapeze? Hell nah. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine’s Day when it goes on sale? No. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I met a poet at the psych hospital once. I also have an old friend who had something published in a magazine, I think. Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but I'd love to to take more ~aesthetic~ photographs sometimes. What is something you think is underrated? Snakes! :( They're not scary or gross, nor do they in any way deserve to be killed. I wish the worth of snakes was seen much more clearly. They are spectacular, intriguing animals. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Once it hits like 65*F, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I hope beyond hope that I have a job I enjoy. And that I'm driving again. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? I used to loooove video editing, but I've lost all motivation for it. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Somewhere we have this one stretchy thing that I have no idea what it's called, then there are two sets of small weights somewhere. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? New York. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, ya can't go more east in NC unless you want to drive into the ocean... lol. West? Illinois. If you have/want children, will you raise them similar to the way you were raised? If I had kids, I would in some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Nothing strange, no. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't know. Not very high. Do you have an ebook reader? (iPad, Kindle, etc.) No. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? 2017, ig. What is the last random act of kindness you did? I guess you could consider a loving text to Sara a random act of kindness?

[tenglows]

31 + 16 angst hs! au mark? 🥺

[ 16: maybe i should have lied ] + [ 31: well, this is a first ] this might sound dumb but i'm not sure what hs stands for 🥺 i assume it's high school so i went with that? but if not pls tell me 😭

the prompts

“mark lee!” you yelled out, running after him at the halls. a few people passed and stared at you ridiculously, but you couldn't afford to care. you needed answers.

the boy came to a halt and turned around, sighing and fixing his backpack on his shoulder.

“what did you do to gabby?” you inquired, jaw tightened and nails pounding through your palms.

“i broke up with her” he looked down, and you scoffed.

“yeah, i think i know that by now. she won’t get out of her bed or stop crying. but she also won’t tell me what the fuck happened”

you and your best friend had always told each other everything. so when she refused to talk to you after her long boyfriend broke up with her, you were pulling your hair in exasperation. something had to be wrong.

“hence me asking you. tell me now, mark” you said sharply, crossing your arms across your chest and leaning against his locker.

he kept his nervous gaze focused on yours for a while, attempting to find a way to escape the situation. he eventually gave in and took a deep breath, hesitant eyes being intimidated by your threatening ones.

“i just didn’t feel the same anymore” he shrugged. your heart dropped to your stomach. you had been beside gabby ever since she met mark. you experienced all the excitement of a new relationship and the escalations of it with her. you had never seen gabby this comfortable or happy with someone, and it coming to an end made you sad as well.

“is there someone else?” you asked, fearing the response.

“yeah” he nodded softly and once again, you felt a wave of fury all over your fists. how dare he? dump the person that loved him the most in the world over someone else? who could possibly be better? “yeah, i fell in love with someone else. and i couldn’t do it anymore”

his voice wasn’t cruel, he never was. that’s why you liked him so much for your best friend in the first place, because he didn’t seem like the type of guy that would wreck her into pieces. apparently, you had miscalculated.

“who?”

he went silent again, and at this point you weren’t having it. you wanted nothing more than slamming his head against the metal lockers.

“you” the grip on your hands softened and your face untensed, your posture also dropping a bit. “i fell in love with you”

well, this is a first. you thought to yourself. no one had ever confessed to you before, let alone your best friend’s boyfriend. who was no longer her boyfriend. because he dumped her, over you.

you would sometimes stare too long at mark during gatherings, or liked it better whenever only the two of you talked, no gabby in sight. sometimes you would envy your friend for getting such a good and cool guy, but you brushed it off as being jealous because she always got the pretty ones.

and you had tried so hard to not pay attention to those thoughts, to wave them off as soon as they emerged, but they all suddenly became too present when mark soft, wide eyes were restlessly scanning your face.

“she isn’t talking to me, mark. she doesn’t want to see me” was the only thing you managed to say. you could not think of yourself right now, you had to think of gabby. it was always, gabby.

“i’m sorry. i could try to talk to her, tell her it’s not your fault”

“if i lose my best friend over this i will never forgive you” your voice cracked and you quickly cleared your throat. mark’s heart clenched. this isn’t how it was supposed to go.

“i don’t want that. i didn’t want any of this to happen”

“what did you expect? that i would run to your arms after your confession and don’t look back?” he lowered his head. he couldn’t say yes, but he, maybe did expect that. maybe he hoped breaking up with gabby would mean finally being at peace with his true feelings, and being able to share them with you. for you to reciprocate them.

“maybe i should have lied” he stated, voice firm in spite of everything. “maybe that would have hurt gabby, and you, less. but i can’t keep hurting myself, y/n. i can’t keep lying to myself and everyone around me”

you didn’t know what to say. you wanted to come back at him, to contradict him and tell him that he was wrong, that he was a horrible person. but you couldn’t. and there weren’t enough words for you to disagree with him, because he hadn’t done anything wrong. he would have hurt gabby more if he hadn’t been honest, and also importantly, he would have continued hurting himself.

but there was nothing you could do. even if your interest for mark could be something more approachable at this time, you couldn’t betray your friend. and what mattered the most to you was making things right with her.

“i should go” you whispered. it wasn’t what you really wanted to say to mark. but that would have to do.

“hey, i’ll talk to her” he placed his hand on your shoulder and you felt something blocking your throat. he was quick to remove his hand, and you wanted to tell him it didn’t bother you in the least.

you gave him a nod and walked away. mark had never felt so stupid. had taking the risk of losing two important people in his life been worth it? he didn’t know yet. but as he saw your hair bounce on your shoulders as you stepped forward, he figured he could at least live knowing he could admire you from afar without feeling guilty anymore.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS^2 Re: CHAPTER 14. The Best Laid Plans

Back to Deltritus then?

I don't think Calliope has well-defined-enough plans for them to be disturbed at this time?

Well, okay, she did get that jolt of pain in her head, for whatever reason.

---

> 327

Huh? Roxy's house?!

What, did John and the kids return here? They're all with the rebellion, last we knew, so maybe Roxy comes home to an empty... house?

Though the day ended with John & the others at the base, so Roxy then would have spent an entire night in the dark about their fates?

Of course, Blaperile has a point, this might take place some time earlier that day. But then, Roxy still should've seen the carnage that Vriska had wrought in her street... Unless Jane had a really good cleaning crew at the ready.

Heh, with how Harry's adventure took off when Roxy was out groceryshopping, I'm a bit reminded of how John's adventure started in Act 1!

> 328

Hah! Okay, so they DID come back here. Well then, so much for going undercover at a rebel base. I swear, as far as war drama & intrigue goes, Earth C is real laid back. I like how the panel and page layout calls back to when Tavros was here last, with the other kids.

Aww, look at the Egberts bonding. Harry really can throw some good sass, just like John, I'm pleased. It appears they've been sent to run errands more than make critically valuable contributions to the war effort. Fine by the Egberts, I would think, but the Vriskas? Yeah that's not gonna work. Heh, but John has come a long way from doing critical things to move the game forward (through conscious actions and otherwise).

Maybe the Vriskas weren't arguing over being sidelined, but Harry Anderson? I dunno, I got the feeling in the past that Vriska doesn't really approve of Vrissy's relationship.

Ahahahahah, lol! Okay, so it was just Vriska flipping her lid over not being in the history books. Well, that's what you get for not sticking around to actually win the session! :D

That's actually hilarious. Vriska was influential, got the players into the state required for the endgame, but that's it. She didn't put any effort in helping the session's bosses get beaten, she had her eyes on a bigger prize.

Or so she thought. It turns out, for Candy Earth C at least, Lord English is an afterthought. :P

> 329

Oh hell yes, John drew a diagram of his plan. And it involved Yiffy! Couldn't have been all bad.

Hah, I do love the rapport John and Harry are building. It's still weird though, guardians in Homestuck have never been shown to interact this directly, and informally, with their wards. But I like it.

I like how John starts to realize Harry might have inherited some good traits from him, too. Could be good for his self esteem.

> 330

Pffff, they just up and left. Is John gonna try and real them in? Fat chance of that succeeding. I hope Vriska doesn't try to trounce him. Could go either way, with his mangrit.

> 331

Ooooh!! Back to the funeral?? I would have said that Vriska & Vrissy then must've come here, but no, it seems like Jade's silhouette. Has Jade (and is that Rose? Kind of looks like a cherub head) come for their daughter?

> 332

Aww!! I'm glad she's glad to see her mothers. What with the boarding school from hell and the torture Jane put her through, she could've harbored unrelenting resentment. I'm sure it'll come up at one point how dumb they behaved after her birth, though.

> 333

Seems like Jane's secret police is Team Flare...

I just really can't believe what Jane has become, every time I get a mood whiplash.

Oh well, every group of heroes needs a villain, and since Dirk ollied out of this timeline...

So she sees Fanny as an investment (ugh). And somehow she has no conflicts about being an "honest businesswoman" with an armed guard.

> 334

Maybe their ship didn't come alone. Maybe they've come with a fleet?

> 336

The Tavros Gambit is a go!

For all Tavros probably went along with the plan willfully - I hope -, it sure must be different from talking about vs. actually being grabbed by the neck by a grown troll vampire.

Now let's see when the cards are down, what Jane chooses. Her son, or her might?

Kind of a weird color combination for Rose & Kanaya's ship. It's shaped like a mother grub with purple accents.

> 338

Jane's really good at fooling herself. By becoming a media mogul, she just... lost touch with who she used to be.

So she offered to tutor Fanny, and took it as within her rights to start mistreating her for it. Jegus.

> 339

Ugh. She really just rationalizes everything. She thinks the rebels have done damage to humanity. She is simply unable to see what she has wrought. It's so teeth-grindingly frustrating, because it's so realistic.

> 340

Ooooh! Is Jake going up there to "save" Tavros? I'll be honest, I'm curious what a trainwreck of a thought trail Jane is going to go on next, if she understands her husband and son both are cutting ties with her. I believe the gloves are going to come off now for real.

> 341

Eesh, no. Jake is going to be too late.

> 343

Hmm, Jane wants the crowd to disperse. Can't have them witness what'll follow. I'm thinking it might just be an orbital laser firing at the ship?

[jungshookz]

cee, im gonna rant here if its okay with u bc i know this is a safe space. i always have had a problem woth my weight and self confidence. i also have symptoms body dysmorphia, depression, and adhd but according to my parents mental health doesnt exist. i also am an only child and everyone around me knows me as the cheerful super smart girl and as soon as i do or say anything outside of that label its not accepted. so today, my mom came to me saying that my cousin might be taller than me (1)

im not too short but not too tall either. im taller than my mom at least and so then my mom goes onto a while rant about how my parents gave me organic food and they dont understand how i havent grown that much since hs. i try to defend myself and then somehow my dad (who is rlly skinny) buts in and says how im also unfit which i do not believe is true at all. i'm a nationally ranked athlete with asthma and i dont use my inhaler that often even though i should. i try so hard to not give my parents a reason to shit on me but they still do. so then my mom also adds that she is fitter than i am. i am offended by this and while i have barely ever defended myself against my parents before i start to snap. my mother is obese and she has been through struggles in her life. i never want to be a burden yet here i am. i whisper "at least i dont get tired after lifting a couple pounds" and she says that she is fitter than i am bc she goes up amd down the stairs like 10 times a day i give up and now im here now bawling my eyes out for the fear that i will never be good enough no matter what i do. for anyone. when i was in middle school i lost 15 lbs over the summer unintentionally but it made my confidence go up. i enter school, but people still call me fat. i remember specifically one guy (who is "famous" bc he was on tv) ask me "did u lose weight?" with a smile. i think he noticed but i wanna remain humble so i say no. he then says, "good. because it really doesnt look like youve lost any. in fact, it looks like youve gained some" those words will forever be in my mind. it honestly pains me to be around such toxic people, but theyre all that i have. i havent opened up to any of the people around me about any of this, and this is just an insight as to how im feeling and what ive been through in life but i thank you so much for being here for me and all ceemen. you truly are the kindest soul. thank you. and sorry for making a mess of your inbox lmao

hi!! i’m glad to know that this can be a safe space for you! first of all, i am so very sorry to hear that you’ve had to hear such awful things from the people who are supposed to love and care for you! to be honest, all i have to say is to heck with your parents!! to heck with that one dumb guy!!! to heck with people who think they’re allowed to make comments about your dang body!! not caring about what other people think of you is much easier said than done but what i like to do when someone makes an unnecessary comment on my body is just go to my happy place and that happy place involves putting that person on a thin wooden plank before pushing them off into a dark scary ocean and just slowly watching them fade away :) good luck getting back to shore :) oh wait there is no shore :) sorry :) and second of all wow!!!!! you’re a nationally ranked athlete!!!!! hello??? you are the coolest frickin person ever??? you are a literal superstar!!! can i have your autograph??? pls???? sign my forehead??? 

i’m not sure if this helped to make u feel any better because i’ve been told that i’m not very good at comforting people but i hope it made you smile a little bit!!! 

[cynicalkairos]

Henry Hidgens Analysis

Alright, so you probably (maybe I don’t know) saw the first one, but my dumb ass deleted it. That means that you get it all again with some new things!!! YAY!!

Basically, I watched TGWDLM and something still didn’t make sense to me.

Why did Hidgens radically change his opinion about the apocalypse from opposing it to approving it?

When I rewatched TGWDLM, it baffled me. Why would a man that opposed the apocalypse to the extent of dedicating thirty years of his life preparing for it suddenly advocate for it with the promise of world peace?

Well, my theory is pretty simple.

Hidgens became infected.

Now, I can say that and end the post, but NOT TODAY! I WILL GIVE PROOF! (or what I deem as proof)

Welcome to my analytical heaven. Click to read about my theory with pictures and links!! That I had to redo :(

How did Henry Hidgens get infected?

My answer to that: when he touched the “blue shit.” (also referred to as BS) (x)

Besides Emma in the beginning when she pulled the BS out of the coffee (x), Hidgens was the only one to physically touch the BS. (x)

Even then, while Emma held the goop for mere seconds, Hidgens held the BS in his hand for almost exactly two minutes. This longer physical exposure to the BS allowed the apotheosis to start to take root in Hidgens’s mind.

Also, note how each of them held the BS.

Emma barely picked it up, holding the BS with a few fingers.

On the other hand, Hidgens had the BS molded into a ball that he held in his fist for the remainder of the scene shown here.

When the scene continued past the point of unveiling the mysterious goop, even though it was probably due to making sure that it left the stage, Hidgens still held the BS in his hand with maximum contact with his hand.

If the BS had the same consistency of maybe aloe vera or a different gel, then it absorbs into the skin faster than water through skin absorption. This ensured that the goop could get into the skin, into the bloodstream, and, eventually, the brain.

BOOM! BIOLOGY!

After that initial point of contact, the Hive slowly took over Hidgens’s mind. 

The next time we saw Hidgens was when he killed Charlotte and Sam with a shotgun.

Of course, you’re probably thinking, “But, Kairos, he couldn’t have been infected! He killed them!”

Well, partially, correct. Hidgens did kill Sam and Charlotte, but something else happened before that also unnerved me.

Charlotte sang specifically at Hidgens when faced with her imminent death.

Before when faced with the possibility of getting killed, the Hive ran away, such as Charlotte pointing a gun at Doug and Copper at the end of “Show Me Your Hands.” (x)

If the note wasn’t a scream out of fear, then what could it be?

Because of the Hive’s collective knowledge of one another, Charlotte sensed the apotheosis happening inside of Hidgens, causing such a reaction from her.

Then Hidgens, oblivious to his own succumbing to the Hive, shot her anyway.

The scene continued with Hidgens forcing the remaining survivors to sing to prove they’re not one of them. You know... typical Hidgens shenanigans. (x)

However, Hidgens wasn’t stupid.

I propose that he suspected that a member of the Hive was in the room when Charlotte pointed at him. But, because of Emma, Paul, Ted, and Bill standing behind him, it led him to believe that it was one of them, not himself.

That’s why he forced them to sing, in case one of them sang perfectly.

When he found that none of them were, it eased him. 

And Hidgens didn’t bother to check himself because he would know if he were infected, right?

Anyway, this leads to my next point in my theory. 

Hidgens had a human side (HS) and an infected side (IS).

In “Let It Out,” Paul alternated between two versions of himself as the Hive took over his mind. (x)

So, who’s to say that it couldn’t happen to Hidgens too?

Hidgens himself said that the victims were “genetically reconstructed from the inside out.”

While the apotheosis was taking place in his mind, the HS still had control over his body with a few moments that the IS shone through. But, toward “Show Stopping Number,” those moments of humanity were few and far between as the Hive took over.

Now’s the time to analyze those moments.

One of the first moments that really stood out to me was the persistence that Emma stay behind to help him.

This was a man that had isolated himself for at least three decades. He was very capable of handling experiments by himself.

So, why would he need a lab assistant?

That’s right. He didn’t. 

I believe that his lines at this point in the scene were completely influenced by his IS. 

Again, you might say, “Kairos, Hidgens was just trying to protect Emma!!!”

Hidgens knew that Emma would help anyone whether or not they asked for it.

She proposed a place to stay to help the people that she had only just met. (x)

Emma also escaped Ted’s hold and shot General McNamara to save Paul (even though they were closer than the rest, she had really only known him for a day or two.) (x)

By asking her to stay behind, it gave Hidgens the chance to be alone with Emma and Ted.

At that point, Ted was no longer a threat. Sure, he could talk a big game, but he was too drunk to actually fight back.

Emma, on the other hand, could fight back. Hidgens’s IS needed Emma on his side to be able to convince others to join the Hive. Paul would listen to Emma and then Bill would listen to Paul. Emma was the key to getting the rest of the lot to become infected. This also happened in “Inevitable” at the end of the musical.

To make sure that Hidgens and Emma were alone, not only did Hidgens ask her for help, but he also approved Paul and Bill’s ideas to go save Bill’s daughter, despite the situation possibly leading to death. He assured them that the backroads were safer (x) and gave them his shotgun for protection. (x)

Although this moment with the influence of his IS controlling Hidgens, we still saw the HS of him when Paul and Emma talked before Paul left.

I don’t know whether or not it was intentional, but the look on Hidgens’s face was heartbreaking. This moment shown above was one of the last times that we see entirely human Hidgens.

Now, we know that he somewhat cared about Emma because he let her into his house in the first place. (x)

And once again using the knowledge that his backstory contained him being an infectious disease researcher, Hidgens had lost people he cared about in the past.

In that final interaction between Paul and Emma, Hidgens knew the possibility that Paul wouldn’t come back alive. Based on experience, if Paul didn’t come back, it would hurt Emma a lot and, in turn, hurt him.

Now, on that note, let’s jump to the scene with Hidgens and Emma. (x)

In this scene, there was no sign of Hidgens’s HS but rather his IS.

This shift was particularly shown through his behavior and his new opinion of the alien invasion.

First, the body language.

Throughout the beginning of this scene, Hidgens’s eyes were focused on the beaker with the BS inside of it. Even though he was talking to Emma, he never looked at or even acknowledged her at first.

Look at these two photos.

The first picture was from the first scene in Hidgens’s house and the second picture was from the scene I was talking about.

In the first picture, Hidgens was looking at Emma and, in the second picture, Hidgens was looking at the beaker.

Although he looked at Emma for a split second in the second scene, he immediately looked back at the beaker. 

(Also, I would like to mention the slight blue tint in the lighting of the second picture. You’ll see why this is important later.)

Anyway, the first time that Hidgens looked at Emma was when she proposed that there was some sort of “mothership.” (x)

When she said “mothership,” Hidgens’s head instantly turned toward her, looking at her with an almost surprised expression.

I mean, I’m not the only one that found that last facial expression creepy.

Seriously.

If someone looked at me like that, I’d be frightened.

In the first two pictures, Hidgens seemed surprised that she started to figure it out.

Then, in the third, it changed to “Oh, shit. She’s starting to figure it out.”

And, finally, it went to “I must stop her from figuring everything out.”

After this moment, Hidgens looked intently at her and even initiated physical contact that he never dared to before.

He placed his hand on her shoulder (x) (x) (x) and did the iconic nose boop. (x)

Even then, this interaction between the two of them must have been out of the ordinary because Emma reacted in such a way. (x)

Not to mention another creepy expression. Jesus Christ, Robert.

Then all of Hidgens’s IS’s hopes and dreams were crushed when Emma did not agree with the idea that the alien invasion would bring world peace.

She responded with “Okay, but how do we stop it?”

At this point, Hidgens’s IS’s plan fell apart. 

You see, I believe Hidgens’s IS did what the Hive did initially: coerce people to join the Hive through the means of discovering what they wanted and using that as a ploy to entice them to join peacefully. (x) (x)

But when people started to resist, they had to turn to other measures of infecting people or, in another term, violence. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

This same sequence of events happened here.

Hidgens tried to convince Emma that it was a good thing that the human race should be eradicated to have world peace.

When Emma resisted, Hidgens drugged her and kidnapped her.

That brings us to everyone’s favorite: SHOW STOPPING NUMBER!

Oh, boy. There’s a lot to unpack here.

I’d like to establish that this scene had both elements of Hidgens’s IS and HS with some of those times overlapping.

At the beginning of the scene, it’s clearly the IS talking.

The HS would never unlock the entire facility and make everyone inside of it vulnerable to the Hive, but the IS would.

And at this time, Emma realized it.

Emma saw what was going on with Hidgens. 

Even though it was fuelled by the IS, I don’t think that it was entirely the IS because he said:

“The world was already doomed not by them, but by us. I was trying to save something that could not be saved until now.” (x)

It implied that Hidgens himself thought about the apocalypse that way, not the Hive.

And of course, there was that entire goodbye to Alexa, which was definitely, in my opinion, the HS, not the IS.

Then, when Hidgens destroyed Alexa, the IS was back. (x)

The same behavior that was displayed in the scene that I talked about prior was back. He moved around erratically, he had an odd fondness toward the Hive, and initiated physical contact with Emma and Ted, all things he didn’t do before.

Then he shifted back into his HS when he mentioned having a “second chance.” (x)

After talking about musical theatre, he reverted back to his IS when he started talking about Charlotte’s anatomy after being infected, leading to the line, “This is humanity’s eleventh hour and I’ve prepared something for the occasion.” 

Hidgens then proceeded to sing as his IS, but when he mentioned Working Boys: A New Musical and gave Emma and Ted the pitch, his HS wasn’t entirely present and wasn’t entirely absent as well.

During some of the parts of “Show Stopping Number,” there were moments when both were present, not fighting for control like with Paul, but coexisting because they both had the desire to sing and dance, especially when the HS was given the chance to show off something it was proud of.

You know before when I talked about the blue tint? Well, it’s coming back now. 

The presence of both the IS and the HS was shown in the lighting during the song.

In this picture, there were the colors red, blue, and purple. In TGWDLM, blue is associated with the Hive. Even though red isn’t assigned to the human race any other places in the musical, I believe that, because of the presence of purple in this part of the scene, the red does symbolize humanity. 

The lighting reflected Hidgens’s dual identities that appear during this song: the IS (blue), the HS (red), and the strange mix of both (purple).

For example, during the first stanza, Hidgens had a blue light shining behind him, showing that it was his IS singing.

However, when the song moved into its second stanza, Hidgens left the piano and a more colorful background appeared.

Now, if you looked carefully, most of these colors had appeared in the background of songs either prior or after this one.

- Green: “Not Your Seed”

- Purple: “La Dee Dah Dah Day”

- Red (not shown): “Show Me Your Hands”

- Pink: “You Tied Up My Heart”

- Burnt Orange: Beginning of “Inevitable”

- Light Blue: Later in “Show Stopping Number”

- Light Orange: the background for most of the parts of scenes with no members of the Hive in them

The combination of these colors with the addition of the light orange showed that the HS was present, even in the mass of songs that the Hive previously or will perform.

However, one of the interesting parts of that particular color scheme was the light blue lighting.

This is the part that he introduced Working Boys.

This is during the “Greg... and Steve...” part.

This is during the final verse before “Greg” and “Stu” joined in.

The concept of the blue lighting in my theory was similar to that of the purple. It symbolized the coexistence of both the IS and the HS. Instead of the majority being the IS like in the purple, the majority was in favor of the HS. 

In the first picture, Hidgens was explaining the plot to his musical, which was something that the Hive didn’t know about. Then, when the lighting changed back to the rainbow, the IS used it to continue the singing, perfecting it.

The same thing happened with the second one. Hidgens returned to his HS to talk about the people that he lost and then went right back to singing and dancing (which I will get back to).

The third picture was Hidgens’s HS finally getting into it, relishing at the moment that he achieved his dreams of performing his musical and performing in front of people in general.

Now, before I go any further, the times that “Five o’clock can’t come soon enough” was sung, something different happened.

The lights flashed from 

red

to blue

then green.

Similar to the previous rainbow lighting, these different colors were reminiscent of prior events, but only the ones that the Hive visibly harmed one of the main characters.

- Red: “You Tied Up My Heart” and Charlotte (x)

- Blue: “America Is Great Again” and Ted (x)

- Green: “Not Your Seed” and Bill (x)

Even though Ted was still very much so alive during this part, it foreshadowed his death and the death of Hidgens.

To finish the analysis of “Show Stopping Number,” the rainbow background came back when “Greg” and “Stu” appeared, signaling that the IS overtook him again, because, otherwise, how could the other members of the Hive known the harmonies and choreography to the song?

The last part to analyze is Hidgens’s death. (x)

This moment is truly Hidgens’s last moments alive and, more importantly, as a human.

When luring the Hive to his home, Hidgens’s HS didn’t think about the implications of following through with the plan. He thought that he was just going to join the Hive.

But, to completely become one with the Hive, the HS needed to be killed and destroyed.

When “Greg” and “Stu” killed him, Hidgens’s HS died and the IS took over.

This same thing happened with Paul when the grenade killed his HS and left the IS to resurrect himself, going after Emma to make sure she became one of them too.

In conclusion, Hidgens was infected and only got more and more infected as the musical went on.

———

Thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoyed this! I just find this kind of shit interesting. I don’t know if any of this is true, but this was my justification for something that didn’t make sense to me. That’s why it might not make sense. It kind of just a more refined brain dump of the last version of this.

[supeson]

dreams

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine , part ten, part eleven, part twelve, part thirteen

“Ma, I know! Please!” You roll your eyes as you talk to your mother on the phone. A black Lexus pulls up and you silently thank whatever above. “I’ll get it done, alright? You know I will. Now look, I gotta go, my ride is here. Alright, love you too. Bye.”

You slide into the back seat and rub your hands together. “Alright Alfred, this is the part where he kills me for reals, right? No more pussyfooting around. I was just talking to my ma, and I told her I loved her, so we’re all square.” He just looks at you via the rear view mirror. “Okay, okay, I’m done. No need to ready your throwing tomatoes. But, can you at least tell me why I have to come to the Manor today?”

“Master Bruce has something he would like to show you,” The butler says cryptically, braking the car to let someone cross. 

“Great, that’s not reassuring at all.” You cross your arms and look out the window for the rest of the ride. 

                                                              *

Even in early November, the Manor looks beautiful. The fall foliage is out in full swing, oranges, reds, and yellows exploding across the front lawn. You gotta hand it to Alfred, he’s one hell of a gardener. Crossing the threshold of the house doesn’t scare you anymore. If anything, it just makes you even more tired than you always are. 

You haven’t really seen Bruce since the whole Joker thing. There were check-ins here and there, of course. Dick popped by a couple of times, but really, you were alone. You appreciated the time to digest and recuperate from the ordeal, of course, but also couldn’t help feeling an acute sense of loneliness. You couldn’t really tell anyone what had happened that night, aside from having a scrape with the world’s loosest screw and living to tell the tale. So when he texted you, asking you to come over, you felt relieved. 

You follow the butler into the dining room and frown. “Are we? Eating again? I’m sorry, I had some fries from BatBurger earlier, so I’m all-”

He simply moves the hands and steps aside as it slides to the side. You look at him and he just nods, sweeping one had to the now-open door. You huff but go through the door. Alfred hasn’t steered you wrong yet, why would he start now?

                                                               *

There are no railings for the stairs. 

“Stupid billionaire slash vigilante. Can’t even put in a fucking railing for his own stupid stairs going down to his stupid lair. Can’t wait ‘til I hear he broke his ass going down the stairs or some shit. Would definitely deserve it, stupid bastard...” You continue to grumble all the way down the stairs, going slowly. You almost make it to the bottom, until you trip on nothing, and launch yourself down the last four steps. Your eyes squeeze shut on response and your arms come up to brace yourself for a fall that never comes. You look up into blue eyes and a small, soft smile. 

“Karma has preemptively gotten you on this one, it seems.” Bruce helps you right yourself, then takes a step back. "This is the Batcave."

You look past him to see glass cases with costumes, a wall of gadgets, a giant penny, and hell even a T-Rex display from a museum, decorating the cave. The computer is shut down, but you can hear the faint hum of all the technology in the room. You're in awe a little bit, and Bruce just watches you. You walk around him and inspect the little worktable he has set up in front of his gadget wall. You reach your hand out to touch something, but yank it back just as quickly. "Nothing in here is gonna like, get me, right? I'm not about to choose the weapon that you'll hunt me down with?"

He comes up behind you and runs his hands over some devices. "You are actually. I recommend the thermite grenade. Place it on your heart, wait a couple of seconds, then you're gone. Almost painless."

You whip around and whack him on the arm. There's barest trace of a smile on his face. "Shut up! You're not supposed to feed into my jokes! I hate you!"

Bruce rolls his eyes but follows as you continue to wander around the Cave, touching all the bits and baubles. You go to sit on top of the Batmobile, but stop. He raises an eyebrow in question and you shrug. "I don't wanna dent the hood."

He lets out a genuine laugh at that. "Trust me, it would take more than your weight to crush the hood. A supercharged Bane has been flipped onto the top of that car and didn't leave a scratch."

"How many people have you fucked in the Batmobile?" As soon as the words leave your mouth, you freeze, and wish your brain's filter would have caught that before it got out. You hear a heavy sigh behind you and try to backpedal. Badly. "I mean, you must have, right? You were young and dumb once right? Or as dumb as Batman can get, I guess. It's not impossible to imagine-"

"One. One person." And he wants to leave it at that, you can tell.

"Sorry." Bruce just rubs your arm, trying to be comforting, but falling flat. You suck in a breath and ask the question that's been gnawing at the back of your mind. "Why are you showing me all this? What's the point? It doesn't really change anything between us."

His face pinches up. "It does. It drastically changes things between us. You know my most well-kept secret now. Hell, you figured out that all of my kids are vigilantes as well. How does that not change things?"

His tone has risen, just a tad, but you still notice it and shrink back, flinching a little. He sees of course, and immediately steps back. You won't look at him as you speak.

"Look, man, I just don't get why I have to be all balls deep, all of a sudden. It sheds some light on some things, yea, but it's not like like I'm gonna go out and tell the press. You know I won't. And I'm not gonna take this as some call to action, or whatever, to put on some spandex and start fighting. I'm good, actually. I don't want to do that. Gotham has enough going on without adding some anxiety ridden nobody to the mix. I want to go home, eat some ice cream for dinner, and maybe make plans to see my boyfriend next week. If we're even still together..." Your ears are burning as soon as you utter the word 'boyfriend'.

"You're right." Your head snaps up, looking directly into Bruce's, the blue piercing right through you. "I'm pushing you, to see what you really want. I wouldn't want you on a patrol with me anway. Everyone I get involved with seems to be drawn into this life. Sooner or later they put on a mask, and go out and fight crime, and sometimes-" It's the first time you've ever seen him falter. "Sometimes they die. And I don't think I could bear to see you die. Especially at the hands of one of the many villains who think they can take Gotham for themselves."

There's a tense, silent second between the two of you. Bruce looks as stoic as ever, but you can see the tension in hs shoulders, and the glint of worry in his eyes. It's the most emotion he's ever expressed to you, and your eyes are wide. You take a step forard and hesitantly wrap your arms around him. The tension dissipates from his shoulders as he slowly reciprocates. You're silent for a while, just standing there and hugging each other.

It's muffled into his turtleneck, but he can still hear you. "Trust me, I'm never gonna wanna face the Joker ever again. Never fucking mind the rest of the maniacs you punch in the face daily."

A low laugh rumbles his chest. "Fair enough. Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Yea...it's fucking freezing down here. You might be the night, but I prefer the afternoon." You take his hand and start leading him to the stairs. "You're going up first because there aren't any hand rails."

A voice sounds from above. "Finally. Alfred made dinner and made me come get you. Glad you decided to keep it in your pants, Bruce."

You look up to see a figure in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Bruce frowns again and takes the lead, seemingly forgetting that he's holding your hand as he quickly strides toward the figure.

"Tim!"