#it makes so much fucking sense I beg you
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Look Thorpe Tumblr this may be so fucking stupid but hear me out.
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DeadBeat.
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deoidesign · 5 months ago
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vampire and werewolf sitting in a tree
time trav e l i n g
first comes. trying to kill eachother then comes... learning you're his dead ex-lover then comes marriage!
(you can buy the book this scene is from for $15 it's really good. it's the fan favorite of the series!)
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incorrectsibunaquotes · 8 months ago
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tumblr glitched and spared you all the most heated rant of my entire hoa fandom tenure
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bogos-bint3d · 2 months ago
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Post that has rerouted my brain
#this is legitimately so world changing for me because never before in my whole like 2 years of undyne obsession Ive really just stuck to-#-my own observations about her character. but OML.#after reading this. for the very first time ive had this absolutely mind crushing moment where someone else has made an insanely correct-#observation about her and her character and just all these little things that are lightly implied THAT I SOMEHOW DIDNT NOTICE BEFORE!!!!!!#AND WHEN I SAY THIS HAS CHANGED ME. THIS PERSON WHO POSTED THIS. THIS PERSON THEY ARE SO CORRECT OMG#AND I JUST#DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY CONNECTIONS THIS HAS JUST MADE IN MY MIND. THE SUDDENLY MAKING SENSE OF EVERYTHING THAT I AM EXPERIENCING.#YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW OH MY GOD#this isnt even just a ''im begging you to read this post i found its rlly good''#its a ''THIS POST I FOUND MAKES AN INCREDIBLY CORRECT POINT THAT I SOMEHOW NEVER MADE BEFORE AND MY BRAIN HAS BEEN CHANGED FOREVER NOW.''#THIS IS. THIS IS SO#its just really a lot to me to see someone who originally didn't really think much into undyne really#but there by making one small crucial observation here it has just blown my world of this character and just who she is etc etc efce ceecceg#i honestly cant even believe i never even picked up on this until literally just now while just searching undyne on google-#-because of how much i needed to see something new of her#AND DID I!!!!!!!!!#that is insane to me how did i never even see this this is changing my everything i am so in love with this post#undyne appreciation my absolute fucking beloved#undyne#undertale#undyne undertale#hdjdjdkskskaaass omgggg hdhdjdndnddn guyss you don't even know#this might not even seem like a lot but it has just opened up so much for me i promise I'll make it all make more sense one day trust me ily
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dykeomania · 3 months ago
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i cannot believe i spent like $2,000+ of my stipend last year to go visit a girl who kept telling me it would be worth it and that all of my suspicions about us and our relationship were "self-sabotage", and who also within 3/4/idk weeks of my fall semester looked me dead in the face after i confronted her about a repetitive issue in our relationship that she promised she'd do better on and was like "i just think that the distance has taken its toll" and then wanted to break up
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whywoulditho · 2 years ago
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kagiura akira is SO asexual coded i'm losing my mind
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alexjcrowley · 8 months ago
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New dad lore unlocked, what the fuck do you mean your friend knew Luca di Montezemolo so you did a test drive with a Ferrari once
#begging my dad to stop being so much cooler than me#me: I get into f1#dad: Have I ever told you about that time I drove a Ferrari on Circuito di Fiorano#f1#formula 1#ferrari#luca di montezemolo#I guess#my dad if I ever became religious: Have I told you about that time I met God#me at 21: maybe vroom vroom cars can bring me out of depression#my dad at (almost) 60: oh yes minor anectodote I met the guy Niki Lauda won two championship with#I can't stress enough how this is so fucking unreal my family does not come even close to the kind of money LdM makes#We are NOT the kind of people who would casually hang with a millionaire#Also I genuinely believe my dad's friend must have been sketchy to know LdM#I also feel like I can never read my two eye anymore like even the tag of an ao3 fic with Luca di Montezemolo#'Luca di Montezemolo/Niki Lauda' you mean my dad's friend's friend?????????#now I feel like I have a weird distant relationship with this guy#like I know I don't know him and maybe it's my problem that I think of old formula 1 people like that#but I sort of divorce mentally from the fact that old formula 1 grid are actual people they're like distant characters from a complex#mythology#and now I feel like if I was a paesant in ancient Greece and my dad just told me he partied with Dionysius once#does it make sense#rip LdM I don't feel comfortable watching your pictures from the 70s thinking slay twink anymore#I will miss saying you have American Next Top Model hips#do you think it's ethically correct to objectify some twink from the 70s if your dad met him#I know he is still alive now and he's old and stuff I don't care there ard two Luce di Montezemolo in my head one is the one still alive#and I don't give a fuck about him the other is still photogtaph from the 70s and gives me gender envy
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gynaiko · 2 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤSTELLA   IS   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   AT   ALL;   QUITE   NEGLECTFUL,   ACTUALLY.   THE   KIND   TO   SAY   ‘THAT’S   NICE,   DEAR’   WHILE   NOT   EVEN   LOOKING   AT   VIA.   HOWEVER,   I   DON’T   SUBSCRIBE   TO   FANON’S   GENERAL   INTERPRETATION   WHERE   SHE’S   APPARENTLY   WILLING   TO   KILL   HER   JUST   TO   SPITE   STOLAS.   WE   STILL   HAVEN’T   SEEN   HER   INTERACT   WITH   OCTAVIA   BUT   IF   SHE   TRULY   HATED   HER,   SHE   WOULD   HAVE   THROWN   A   FIT   WHEN   ANDRE   POINTED   OUT   VIA   WOULD   GET   EVERYTHING,
ㅤㅤㅤ&   WHEN   SHE   WAS   SCREECHING   AT   STOLAS,   ASKING   IF   HE   WAS   ‘TURNING   HER   ( VIA )   AGAINST   HER   ( STELLA )’   —   CLEARLY,   SHE   CARES   FOR   VIA.   AGAIN,   SHE’S   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   PERHAPS   NOT   CODDLING   OR   ‘MOTHERLY’   BUT   ENOUGH   THAT   VIA   HAS   GOOD   MEMORIES   OF   HER   ( PER   THE   LOO   LOO   LAND   EPISODE ),
ㅤㅤㅤREAD   THE   TAGS   FOR   MY   TINFOIL   HAT   RAMBLINGS ,
#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖎.⠀stella#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗢𝗗⠀જ⠀𝖎.⠀out of#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗜𝗖⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖛.⠀introspec#ㅤif you know me at all & how i approach my muses; i am canon's bitch albeit i go all out - call me Sherlock. i don't like to defy what we..#ㅤhave so much as i like to rearrange the pieces; if you knew me when i rped Celes / Seras from Hellsing then YOU KNOW what the fuck...#ㅤi'm talking about. TECHNICALLY - when thinking on Stella i'm going by not only what we have seen but the tweets Georgina Leahy made a...#ㅤa while back ( i believe before the Oz episode iirc ) on how Stella is 'complicated & hearbroken' ( something to that effect ) & i...#ㅤ100% Stella was dumbed down + retconned; we even see it in the beatboards for the Loo Loo ep. she looks HAPPY in the family photograph...#ㅤversus the now canon one we got where she has her arms crossed; Via didn't say what she said because she was lying; it's because Stella...#ㅤ& Stolas WERE supposed to get along ( personally i DO believe she was supposed to be in love with him but i don't write it as such )...#ㅤ+ one of the images from a former spindlehorse employee have Stella & Stolas looking cutesy ( very Gomez / Morticia vibes even ). Y'ALL...#ㅤi'm just tired ngl; no hate but i just DO NOT CARE for canon!Stella. i don't necessarily hate her but she is so uninteresting & boring...#ㅤher constant screeching sends me 😂 BUT ANYWAY yeah i was thinking about it the other day & there's SO MUCH i want to get into with...#ㅤStella; i aim to still portray her more or less as Stella from the show ( in a sense ) - she still screeches & such but it just takes a...#ㅤlot longer for her to get to that point & only Stolas knows how to push those buttons. PERSONAL THEORY? not personal preference BUT my...#ㅤhunch is that she was supposed to be 'love' Stolas ( how much is debatable but she was at least cooperative enough for the wealth )#ㅤuntil Viv changed her mind for the billionth time & decided to make her lame. also ngl... i'm dumb because i didn't catch on to the fact..#ㅤthat Stella was supposed to be a swan at first; i genuinely thought she was a pigeon?? Viv why the fucking white on white; WHY. arrghh...#ㅤbring back green!Stella i'm begging you... OKAY RANT / TIN FOIL HAT OFF <3 had to purge the spitballs within my head ( i'm trying to...#ㅤstall in packing for tomorrow asdklhadsf i don't wanna )
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cabeswaterdrowned · 6 months ago
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me: I’m fine
me, 10 seconds later: the Greywaren mind meld was sooo stupid and the worst part of it is that device Could have been implemented without it feeling like a total cop out if it was say, characters having an actual argument/conflict in some type of dream space, alternate version of reality each others memories etc. if we were actually tracking them through all that and not just “they were wanted…” as the resolution … the actuality of it was just lazy.
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Why do I say things like this. Like what was the need. Why do I feel the need to jinx myself. What was the reason.
#lol just looking thru my drawings and i saw that tag#and im like YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT IM BURNT OUT! I BLAME YOU(catie from that specific day)#anyways trying to draw nando and ITS NOT GOING WELL YKNOW#i still really struggle with drawing real people#seb is okay bcs ive drawn him the most and like have stared at his face for hours so...familiar...yeah...#and i do in fact look at a fuckton of nando pics BUT GOD HIS FACE IS SO DIFFICULT#he just has very like odd features i guess. AND HES VERY HANDSOME FOR IT but god they do not lend to easy drawing#i miss oc drawing where theres no accuracy really required since its all from my head#not that im never drawing ocs again. theyre still my beloved but i dont rly have any ideas atm for them :<#wanna draw rüß as an f1 driver tbh bcs ive been maladaptive daydreaming about that for the past few weeks#but as you know im somewhat allergic to drawing racesuits 😭#also im wondering if drawing chibis so much fucked up my sense of style bcs now i struggle sometimes w proportions#i just. dont want to be burnt out anymore. i know its something you cant really force yourself thru#and also that you shouldn't force yourself cause it just makes it worse but#idk. i wanna draw so badly 😭 and i do it and sometimes it works out and sometimes im just staring at the screen like. oh.#i want to also finish the pt 2 to the boy king ficlet. i always randomly add a few paragraphs to it#blah blah anyways just thinking. i feel a bit frustrated and unfufilled atm i guess#like that feeling in your chest of tightness. its the worst. i wanna throw something or break something i guess#PLEASE JUST LET ME DRAW MY PORTRAIT OF KING NANDO IM BEGGING#he'll be so pretty okay 😭😭 i just cant get his fucking face right#ignore me ignore me. catie is: going through it#i miss the sense of urgency that drawing before my flight gave me#i like having that sense of incentive and deadline. like: you genuinely need to finish this right now.#if not then its me creating meaningless deadlines in my head that actually make me have worse burn out 🙃#i love how before texas im like i am going to finsih all my wips!! anf then finished exactly: zero#catie.rambling.txt
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eleanorfenyxwrites · 2 years ago
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The Bridge is Crossed (rambling)
It's almost 3am and I'm having Feelings™ about the line "Wildly my mind beats against you (you resist) // yet the soul obeys!" from Wandering Child in Phantom of the Opera. Like on its own it's a great fuckin line anyway and delivered with so much feeling, but in the Nieyao context of my 3zun Phantom AU??????
I NEED FEWER WIPS SO I CAN HAVE THE BRAIN SPACE TO WRITE THIS FIC!!!
I just UGH
The fucking. The post-divorce Nieyao energy!!!
"Angel o speak, what endless longings // echo in this whisper"
"Wildly my mind beats against you (you resist) // yet the soul obeys!"
"Angel of music I denied you, turning from true beauty // Angel of music my protector (do not shirk me), come to me strange Angel!"
It's the doubting everything you've ever known about yourself and the love that you desire. It's about leaving the (albeit dubious) safety of your home and your very safe and righteous lover keeping watch outside your door to instead put yourself in the hands of a man whose devotion to you you know is absolute, to the point of endangering everyone who may come into contact with you and get in his way. It's about being afraid of what all of this will mean in the end, but still giving into the way you crave that obsession, and letting your soul take what it wants without concern (for the moment) for what's Right and what's Proper.
It's the rapturous joy of giving into something sharp-edged and buried deep in your soul and finding yourself welcomed into it with open arms, because where else would this man ever be but by your side when you know he'll do any right or wrong thing under the sun to make sure that's always so?
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sunnys-sonnets · 1 year ago
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After seeing the art that inspired you- why Hint Of Magic? how was that idea even formed, how did you come up with all the world-building and the smut? (I am always in awe)
I remember looking at the art and trying to make it make sense. And that made a story come of it. A fairy sitting on a knight's shoulder? How did that come to be? Especially with this pairing? Shouldn't they hate each other? Why don't they hate each other? No one is stopping them? Or maybe these meetings and "relationship" is a secret that they both want to keep. But why would Heimdall care about a random fairy? There has to be an incentive for him to keep seeing and meeting with this fairy until they're going to eventually get along. Alright. Give Heimdall a mission from Odin. Easy. Gather fairy dust. They fairies? They're like the Jotunar in GoW. Dangerous and mysterious. But Atreus cute and sweet so Heimdall would have to find it endearing eventually. Their relationship grows, oh no, but they are enemies and Heimdall knows it'll never work and Atreus is stuck in the forest never to leave it even if he wanted to. Boom plotline scraped from cute fanart and GoW.
Ploy's artwork for sure inspired me (and other artists too!) and I think I wanted more of it or stuff like it. And at the time, I needed some variety in what I was writing, I needed a little break from "Mischief and Foresight" so I devised a plan. If I made a fanfiction on the artwork and it was well-liked and well-received then that would mean that more fanart would be made of it, right? Wrong and egotistical. But it was super fun to write and then Lore accidentally kept coming up and it kept expanding??? Like, pretty sure it was going to only have like one or two chapters but it kept growing and I still hope people like it but I often leave it to the side since it's just a side AU
#A Hint of Magic fic#I like A Hint of Magic but I'm a little insecure about it because it doesn't follow the main plotline of GoW or a big AU people like#and at the time I think I was saddened that it wasn't liked like “Mischief and Foresight” was so it felt like a sign like I should stay#in my lane or just stick with what people like#I think I was comment-hungry and that's why#It's like I forgot why I started writing Heimtreus to begin with#because I loved the ship and loved Chaos in an Archer Suit and wanted to expand the story in a spinoff and show my love for it#So I might have poisoned it for myself by desperately trying to write in ways that I though would get people to like it when it#never got the reactions I wanted & it got me all upset so I might have been disillusioned & then dropped the fic for a while because of it#And that's on me and no one else because I did that to me#No one should be forced to like my work or feel guilt-tripped by this#it just shows me that I really have to learn to write for myself because I have to love what I do because unless I'm being paid#fuck everybody else#Sorry for the VENTING and throwing all my baggage at you! That was definitely NOT what you asked 😅🤣#The World-Building is because I like making things make sense and making a story from it and the smut is because I wanted people to like me#so that's pretty much the answer that you did sorta ask#begging people to ignore the fucking ESSAY in the tags! Like Please! I'm just Bitching! I'm just pissing & crying over here! LOOK AWAY#heimtreus#sunny's answers
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unohanadaydreams · 1 year ago
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So, I was randomly thinking about the start of WA and especially about Yachiru & Nemu & Nanao’s dynamic. Keep in mind that they’ve known each other since Nemu was a child. It would certainly explain Nemu’s attitude toward WA & Yachiru in particular. She has a child-like loyalty and sense of purpose when it comes the WA & Yachiru is the only person we see (even if it’s a joke panel) that inspires jealousy from Mayuri other than Urahara & probably Senjumaru.
We know that Zaraki became a captain not too long after the events of the Pendulum Arc because he killed the Kenpachi who was presented in that flashback.
And we know Mayuri didn’t create Nemu until 6 previous failures, which gives a lot of wiggle room for Kenpachi to have become a captain even before the 7th and titular Nemu was born.
Nanao was also really young in the flashback, so they probably had a close  enough bond to start the WA together. Unohana is the supervising chairwoman so you can imagine that it started out as Nanao’s pet project to herald in (supervised) improvements around the Seireitei (Nanao was also the eldest). She probably had the idea that all three of them would grow into the club, but as Yachiru didn’t end up growing in age or goals, she became the honorary president (mascot).
Honestly, it makes me wonder what kind of journey of realization Nanao had to go through when it came to Mayuri’s treatement of Nemu as well as Nemu’s lack of wanting things to change or understanding that things could change. Yachiru probably has a very childish view of the situation ie ‘if Nemu didn’t want to be treated that way she could fight back to stop it or die trying, so if Nemu’s fine with the situation then so am I’ (she is, after all, the reflection of a very childish power and emotional state). But I’ve always wondered what journey Nanao had to go on in regards to Nemu’s treatment.
Nemu is a very frank person. She speaks of her father’s atrocities with pride and doesn’t view them as taboo like most people would. And Nanao grows into a person who intimately understands she must control what she can. I’m sure that conversation with her psuedo-uncle (but also real uncle) was super fun! Especially if she caught Shunsui in a ponderous, drunken state.
Like the WA just being a little club for a handful of girls in the Seireitei struggling to grapple with their inability to utilize the power that should be inherent in their high positions within the Gotei 13 and eventually turning into something more fun than functional, but still wildly successful. Like little Nanao dreaming up so many changes with her odd duck companions Yachiru & Nemu turning into Nanao using WA as a glorified fundraiser because she knows better now while Yachiru & Nemu just have fun with it.
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chososrightnipple · 4 months ago
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❝𝗷𝗷𝗸 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 + 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘀❞
a/n: i'm going insane guys anyway love u all mwah <333333 afab body but no gendered language btw!
part two.
── დ ──
. *. ⋆ GOJO SATORU
▸ creampies. please just let this man cum inside of you omg he'll go insane. seeing the way his release leaks out of you afterward has him ready for another round almost immediately.
▸ dacryphilia. "you crying'?" says it all right there. he'll coo, a bit mocking, and wipe at the tears running down your cheeks.
▸ size difference. he's so big compared to you. his height, his hands, his dick. he gets off on it so hard seeing you have to look up at him :(
▸ praise (giving + receiving). he'll charm your panties off if you really want, just make sure to let him know how good he's fucking you, too.
▸ overstimulation. hand in hand with dacryphilia. he's not done with you until he's shooting blanks and you're a weeping mess below him.
▸ breeding. listen.. he needs an heir for the gojo clan. he'll fuck you into the mattress for hours on end- he just wants to make sure his baby takes, that's all.
▸ orgasm denial. he's a cocky man, and he knows it. he loves the exhilaration he gets controlling your orgasm, making you beg for it before he gives you any satisfaction.
▸ pussy/thigh/boob jobs. he wants to put good use to all of your body.
. *. ⋆ GETO SUGURU
▸ choking. the feeling of you swallowing as his large hands cusp at your neck is like a drug to him.
▸ begging. seeing you so compliant under him as you plead and cry for his touch... those pretty little eyes and wobbling lip. it's mean, he knows that. he just couldn't care less.
▸ sense deprivation. tying you up and blindfolding you, giving him all that power? he goes crazy for it.
▸ degradation. you wanna be fucked like a slut, he's gonna treat you like one.
▸ edging. when he's feeling really mean, he'll edge you for hours. until you're shaking and whining and the only word you can get out is a broken moan of his name.
▸ impact play. he loves waking up and seeing the red imprint of his hand on your ass oh my godddd don't get him started.
▸ hair pulling (receiving). he wants you to tug at his hair, card your fingers through it, pull it as you're riding his face!!!
▸ sadism. pretty much hand in hand with everything above. he's such a mean boyfriend but he knows how much you love it.
. *. ⋆ CHOSO KAMO
▸ biting. your shoulders, neck, and thighs are full of his teeth marks, almost perpetually. and of course he's not gonna complain if you leave a few bites, too.
▸ begging. show him how much you want him, how badly you need him, and he'll fuck you as much as you want. you just gotta put in a little work first.
▸ worship (giving + receiving). seriously this man worships the ground you walk on from the moment you wake up to the second you fall asleep. he just asks you worship his cock the same
▸ overstimulation. he's fuckin you until his legs are giving out from under him and you're nothing but a fucked out, drooling mess being pressed into the bed.
▸ blood play. i mean... i think this is a given.. will purposefully bite down too hard just to lick the blood clean as an apology.
▸ orgasm denial. he knows once you cum, it's over, and he just wants to stay sat in your pretty pussy a little bit longer- you understand that, right?
▸ somnophilia. his favorite breakfast is in between your thighs. besides, you don't think there's any better way to wake up, anyway.
▸ voyeurism. pleaseeee pleaseee pleaseee let him watch you masturbate it's all he needs in this world !!!!!
. *. ⋆ SUKUNA RYOMEN
▸ anal. he needs to claim every hole your body has to offer. plus true form sukuna is a slut for his double penetration just saying
▸ choking. hearing your choked gasps as he squeezes your throat could make him cum on the damn spot. watching your eyes roll into the back of your head as each second passes on.
▸ exhibitionism. no, he doesn't care that there are other curses around and no, he doesn't care if they can see. you're his, and he'll fuck you anywhere he wants to.
▸ extreme bondage. watching your poor, writhing little human body tug at your restraints uselessly is something he'll never get tired of.
▸ collaring. he'll even get his name custom engraved, just so everyone who looks at you know exactly who you belong to.
▸ degradation. he's a mean thing, but you seem to enjoy that for some reason. he savors in the way you clench around him every time he calls you a whore.
▸ edging. you're not allowed to cum until he's says so, and anything before that? you're in for one hell of a night.
▸ predator/prey. let him chase you through the woods as foreplay. he'll inevitably catch up, of course, but seeing you attempt to get away is so cute to him. especially when he's had enough of the teasing and is pinning you against the nearest tree.
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shidoukanae · 5 months ago
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I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter
Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold
Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it
#The Mighty Extra#no fully colored art today gotta process my feelings over the Helene bits in today's chapter LMAO#Helene continuously getting the best treatment in this story utterly shocks me as someone who is too used to seeing female characters in-#shounen-esque ending up as wasted potential fgkjggfkj#Helene is literally so perfect as a character i love her i love her i love her I LOVE HER I LOVE-#i don't draw Helene enough to show it outwardly but rest assured she occupies 99% of my current brain capacity 24/7#also the way I went from going “oh god why are you like this” to Phillip to “ohhh OHHHH okay no i get it you're very baby” is very funny#that last line makes complete sense for Phillip and it's so cool to see him show off a lot of character development in one go#for a character who is relatively minor i love how the creator made him really understandable and sympathetic like damn#i don't usually care for second lead male LIs but Phillip is surprisingly a strong and endearing character#so much so i think he's now going to forever be embedded in my mind as what a well written character looks like#me before 77: ehhh im not sure if im as excited for this chapter as the next few bc it's probs just gonna end up as#Phillip just being an ass and Fian being jealous about him#this fucking manga every goddamn time i doubt it: hey so want to learn more about Helene and see Phillip get massive character development-#that shows how mature he's gotten but also go back to several plot threads and mysteries and showcase how Lyla is severely in danger and th#war that Fian is starting is something that legitimately needs to happen to keep her safe and also here's a OG Helene flashback that-#you totally haven't been craving for promising to return to why Lyla shipped Helene/Fian in the first place and why she feels guilty about-#taking Fian from Helene (and also suggests Helene deeply loved Fian in the OG timeline which is one big awwwwWWWW and now it kind of-#sucks that Lyla DID rip Fian away from Helene but hey at least Helene has Paris now instead (oh the irony))#fun fact i actually kind of do ship Fian/Helene#at least the OG versions of them#idk seeing how attached Fian is to Lyla and imagining him doing the same to OG Helene is really fucking cute#i am SO FUCKING DESPERATE for the original story behind TME's plot to exist you have no fucking idea#and 78 looks promising as to revealing how OG Helene (/Lyla) reacted to OG Fian's death so like#im begging for next week's chapter already i NEED to get a continuation to that death scene#(also calling it now but if Lyla's real name is actually Helene im going to fucking scream)#(for more reasons than one oh my god)
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skyjynxart · 6 months ago
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#hmmmm#vent cw#dont read this#no seriously i warned you im being a whiney piece of shit#I should probably be worried about the 3-day long panic attack ive had going on#the physical symptoms really are rhe works- the swimming vision the dizziness the tight chest feeling that is uniquely 'anxiety'#and then you add the inability to think for more than like 5 minutes about any given topic#the stress to the point of wanting to cry when things go slightly wrong#but ironically i cant seem to summon any actual anxiety about the anxiety#juat a blank numbness there#really do need it to stop tho as i think its destroying what little appeal as a human i had left at this point#and its seriously hampering my ability to get work done#which i absolutely need to be doing bc if i dont finish my work i cant take on more work#and if i dont take on more work i will officially no longer be paying my bills next month#'sky this seems like talk for a therapist not hidden tags on the tumblr dash' yeah I dont think sitting on this for a month will work#'talk to a friend about it then' hahaha no at least here anyone who reads this fuckin chose to#putting up with me normally is a big ask putting up with me when im needy & anxious & breaking down bc its Too Fucking Much?#lmfao hell no i like my friendship INTACT thanks#a bitch is not about to be a drain on emotional resources when said bitch cannot contribute fuckall of value thats how you make it all worse#and then a month later the therapist cancels so i just keep adding tags to this post bc no one will read them#but i feel like im “talking to someone”#the panic attacks stopped but i have no idea why#i mean im still feeling unusually heightened anxiety 24/7 but its not causing physical symptoms#not like it was anyway#and at least now being anxious makes sense#its a bunch of small to medium shit id probably feel better about if i talked more#but the less i talk and just observe people from a distance unseen the happier people i care about seem so#im literally a fifth wheel so the least i can do is not squeak and alert others to my presence#i really need to get better at art and get faster at working so i can have SOMETHING to offer#oh wow theres a tag limit apparently guess i have to find a new method bc making a new post is begging for attention & I don't wanna do that
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