#it makes me wanna explode things with my mind
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mon amour, danse et danse, on se tourne autour
#song lyrics are from et si c’etait nous deux#the song is Them is really is#wyllstarion#Baldur’s gate 3#bg3#wyll#astarion#I’m just really feeling wyllstarion tonight#tho I prefer gale astarion wyllstarion is so……#it’s so#it makes me crazy#the lines I used are something like my love dance and dance we turn around#there’s a part of the song that’s like#I would like to touch your lips to mine but as soon as we touch it ends#even if there is an end to ‘I love you’ tell me it’s worth it#tell me why are you dancing#tell me that I dance for you#even if this game is dangerous we could win it with two#it makes me wanna explode things with my mind#also yeah sorry didn’t draw him w the horns#on purpose since I’ve gotten to the party several times without him having them yet#but also I just. didn’t wanna draw them. lol
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So I spoke somewhat about my thoughts on Emanator Sampo here, but I never really thought of it from a design point of view or what kind of powers he would have until just recently. But I actually kind of love leaning into it from a "stage hand" perspective?
Because like. Aha's body in THEIR official art is completely black, giving attention to all the fun brightly colored things around THEM. And that's so fitting for Sampo! He usually prefers to be a side character. He likes to act from the shadows. His is a much more subtle hand.
So I wonder if as an Emanator, a lot of his clothes are actually very dark? Not necessarily plain, still extravagant and needlessly detailed in things like cut and quality with lots of different fabrics and textures and ornamentation, but dark. Or maybe even his skin itself becomes blackened further down his body; his hands in particular are dark, as a sort of sleight of hand reference.
The motif of a lot of straps wrapped around him like in his canon design is still present, but they're all loose and flowing off of him like paper streamers now instead of restraining him or holding him together. He is no longer contained! Or maybe they're still a bit more rigid/heavy, but just draped more like red stage curtains!
And this is like. Fully self-indulgent, but I love inhuman designs, and there's nothing in canon to say I can't do this, so screw it! Go for broke!! Maybe it's not visible to normal people, but Sampo having a second set of arms would be really cool, as further sleight of hand reference. One set is almost normal looking, but his hands are a bright, attention-drawing white, and the other is dark, set almost in the shadows of the first arms, to act less noticeably.
He also has something of a broken heart design to him in canon (the front of his black shirt with its jagged shape down the middle; his coat looks like a full heart shape in the back), and I actually like him keeping that element as an Emanator, because I think it suits him. Sampo says his taste in aesthetics and views on Elation involve human dignity,
and the story he helps create in Belobog involves the long and winding road of resistance and survival and eventual triumph in the face of some very adverse, oppressing odds. (I'm pretty sure I heard he once called Wildfire "artless" though, plus the man acts like he thinks Shame is some kind of dessert, so like ndkdjzjskkd) But the point being!!
I think Sampo is someone who can appreciate heartbreak and angst and tragedy in a story, because it makes the victory at the end all the sweeter. And this would be another thing he shares with Aha, because I think THEY did bless the Mourning Actors partly just to be a little shit, but also because Aha does recognize tragedy as part of THEIR Path, too, and you can see it in some of the game. So a broken heart motif can still suit him, and I like him having elements of both comedy and tragedy. Like his clothing having a happy sun/sad moon (like the moon in Aha's art) or him having both of the traditional comedy/tragedy masks in his design.
And as Emanator, Sampo can maybe play with the stage settings environment, too. Like lights sometimes behave strangely around him, appearing blindingly bright to someone or dramatically dark. Sampo wills it and suddenly there seems to be a metaphorical spotlight right where he wants everyone to look. And when he doesn't want to be noticed, his face seems to be cast in shadow, he seemingly just fades into the background, no one notices or recognizes him and he sneaks away easily. He can create smoke or fog literally out of thin air without his bombs now, too, the air will just suddenly thicken until his stage is obscured, and Sampo can set the scene as he pleases or disappear without a trace.
And in line with being a stage hand, Sampo can direct attention like no other. He was already extremely good at this as a normal mortal, and becoming an Emanator only took it up to 11, past human limits. Sampo points, and all present feel compelled to follow his fingertip. He looks away, and they all follow his gaze. He can even affect the mood of an audience; he can influence everyone to be calm and placid or he can whip them into a feverish frenzy. Sometimes a crowd will start to become unsettled, agitation stirring until it boils over, until it incites a full on violent mob.
And in the middle of all that chaos will stand one perfectly calm figure, face cast in shadow, until they quietly slip away out of sight.
#sampo koski#hsr sampo#emanator sampo#hsr sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#they were talking about Emanator Sampo designs in the Sampard Nation server one night and somehow THAT was what got my mind going fjkdaljfk#there was also talk of him making monsters explode in confetti or making their heads pop off like a jack-in-the-box (my contribution hehe)#which is hilarious but just wasn't super relevant here jfklasdj#(I miss bouncing around ideas like that...if anyone knows another sampard server or even just a sampo-dedicated one hit me up!)#(i would love to join and would probably even have friends to bring!!)#but anyway yes I love Emanator Sampo being stage hand themed haha it's very fun with him#I have a lot of screenshots so I wanna try to use them for things like this more!#I think its in SU where it says Aha isn't as powerful an aeon as some of the others like Qlipoth or Lan or Nanook#so I like Sampo's powers being less direct and not just pure destructive power like a lot of the Destruction Emanators#it lets you get real creative with it <3#maybe next I'll bring over my thoughts on his mask design? Ooh but I wanna talk about Geppie too...#Geppie protecting his soldiers from Cocolia or the actions he could have taken or his very sweet relationship with Bronya-#-or him being inspired by Serval or his HILARIOUS relationship with Pela...#Decisions decisions...
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Do you ever think about how Fakir, after him and Ahiru finally broke everything that kept the town of Goldkröne in the ghostly hands of its writer, after they finally have some air of peace over the town finally being able to live in its intended early 2000s environment, that Fakir still feels at times like it's not real and that for a while he fears that if he closes his eyes it'll be back in Drosselmeyer's control. Like it just doesn't feel real to him during that first year of calm, until he feels the dull pain on his recovering hand injury and Ahiru who follows him without a pendant anywhere to be found.
He doesn't feel it's real, the calm finality of this town, but he makes sure to feel the scar on his hand. And he makes sure to hold the little duck and realize that she is who she has always been. Him and the town are finally living peacefully.
#dia talks#princess tutu#He probably starts planning on writing Ahiru into the world mayyybe like 3-4 months into his recovery#he doesn't know what a cell phone is yet but he sure as hell can look at a bookstore and ask for a notebook and pens#i bet that first year in Goldenkröne must be hell because trading deals bring all sorts of new things into the town#Just Fakir going “what the fuck is a scooter?? Wait what's a CAR---”#he ends up having to read a bunch of newspaper articles about “Goldenkröne booming in German tourism!”#Actually does he even know his country's name... Did they all even know they lived in Germany and not JUST a city????#Drosselmeyer would've really pulled one on them for only talking about the city and its outskirts and NOT the country it resided in#But let's assume they did know. Fakir would have to figure out so much has changed in 2002 Germany compared to whatever time they were in#My god just thinking about the thought of Fakir learning what a television is... or a radio for that matter has me howling internally#local amateur writer is put into a coma after hearing for the very first time german rapper Sido#alternatively: local amateur writer's brain explodes after hearing german Happycore artist Blümchen and dance pop group No Angels#ptutu spoiler#i know its a +20 old show but just in case people wanna watch it i love it enough to tag the post show headcanon#ptutu analysis#ptutu headcanon#ptutu post canon#Also sorry i keep jumbling between Goldkröne and Goldenkröne in the writing its 4 AM and the german part of my brain is a mess lmao#(its supposed to be Goldkröne but for some reason I keep making it into the attribute word Golden so dont mind the mistake)#(if you do i will sob please be gentle towards my polyglot self)
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angel neil is strangling me to death
someone tell me how to write this shit
#:((( idk what comes next#why would i (the writer) know what comes next???? come on guys that's expecting a little too much from me#lol i'm joking but also i want to explode things with my mind idk how to get to the next part of this shit!!!!#it's a weird Transitional sort of scene and god knows i suck at those but fuckin hell :(((#like come ON#i just wanna get to the next part that's fun (well...)#>:(((#seriously though.#what should happen next? should a bird fly into the dorm and land on kevin's head?#should andrew lose his actual mind and start drawing on the walls?#maybe i'll have neil just walk in and make himself a bowl of cereal just for fun#lol. i'm joking i'm joking. (unless)#nah these are very funny and silly things but they are not what happens.#the suckish thing is idk What happens but it's not those#sighhhhhhhhhhhh#diaerie
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#tf2 ocs#tf2 helmet party#Err I dont really look much into this ship.. but I just wanna draw my ocs go yippee <3#its making me feel things idk#explodes them with my mind
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#oh for fucks sake#if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g#she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up#which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc#and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour#'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest#b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt#c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit#not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT#i gotta get out of here#this woman is so immensely hateful#ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative#ableism#verbal abuse#ask to tag
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trying to check out to see if i'll ever manage to get top surgery this year and. let's just say i thought the delay would be bigger but. the price is still always such a big ass problem i kinda wanna bash my head against a wall but. anyway
#living with 600/month and having no idea if i'll ever get a job after this semi-work that ends in march but. oh well!!!#already tried to calculate if i could ever save any money from the little time i get to work there but!!! only make me wanna cry#im afraid this will be another year w/o top surgery 😀 dying in the summer and wishing to rip my skin off. w/o the hope i'll at least#get a date some day. cos at this rate i have absolutely no hope ngl.#the whole organisation to get to one of the potential surgeon 2h away is already making me want to explode#i have absolutely no idea how i'll ever be able to pull this off. ever. i don't even know if we'll be able to stay in this flat by the end#of our contracts. so. yeah#i can't see past 4 months away how can i think i'll ever be able to start this thing going. trying to but i stay silly ing the situation but#!!!!! im so desperate i feel so drained and exhausted. the mere idea of summer makes me wanna kms i'm dreading going through it another year#smh.#absolutely no one gives a shit i shouldn't vent in da tags for the 1 day of the yea#but im suddenly hit with an enormous wave of despair that i know won't go away cos it's always on my mind#and seeing the facts once again that i'll prob never be able to afford it is not helpiiiinh#yes i live in france no not everything is paid by healthcare cos it's still considered as non vital </3333#dental/ear/teeth problems started to get fully refundable (on specific little things) only a few years ago#so we're like decades of getting top surgery refunded 100% im afraid</3#i shouldn't complain but then again what's the use of cool healthcare if we can't ever have access to a doctor. of any kind.#smh smh smh#rent over I'm sick of myself i'll shut up sorry
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Looking back at some screencaps i took of the hospital fight, I think the entire situation would've made me less mad if the heroes were just honest about wanting to kill Tomura while he's comatose in the fishtank ngl
#reading mmha#like how h/awks wanted twice dead or alive but overall dead in the end#bc the hospital heroes calling comatose Tomura a 'thing“ and a monster and saying that he shouldn't ever be woken up no matter what!!#ALSO literally them destroying the tank keeping him comatose + all the equipment xless exploded to “ensure” Tomura stays dead#just screams that's they didn't want him to be alive lol 😭 like just admit it asfhjk h/awks was at least honest#i think that's why the whole “Shigaraki's heart stopped!! 😨” part makes me so mad bc literallyyyy what the fuck were they expecting#after all the shit they did implying otherwise 😭 i hate when characters don't wanna own up to their actions#anyways sorry for the rant 💀#was thinking abt this rn and might as well save my thoughts in the event i change my mind later h
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Some non canon leaked S4 concepts: BA might've been part of why Blitzwing is a triple changer via surgery/experiments he likely consented to knowing the risks. The fandom: omg shes such a horrible bitch, I cant believe that shes such an abuser
The actual show: here's Blitzwing and BA interacting, nothing happens except Blitzwing says "ew ur gross and techno-organic/disabled such a bitch" and BA replies it "stick it up ur ass" The fandom: Blitzwing is such a bean did nothing wrong <3<3 he simply didn't mean it when he said BA's scars are gross <3<3<3 such a smol bean boy BA is such a horrible bitch
PURE sexism and horrible bigoted bias.
#ramblez#tfa#transformers animated#tfa blitzwing#tfa blackarachnia#killing all people who think like this with my mind rn#YES IM MAD IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE#Im gonna elaborate on this in an answer to a wonderful ask I got but its such bullshit that Blitzwings onscreen ableism n bigotry towards#BA and her condition goes ignored#but in NON CANON CONCEPTS FOR S4 BA gets to be painted as a horrible abuser bc some stuff vaguely says she mightve done#a weird surgery on BW#makes no fucking sense#one of these things isnt even really canon and one of them happens in EPISODE ONE#Blitzwing goes eww ur scars are gross and the fandom fucking loves him#but some writers in the non canon almanac some of the main creators of TFA didnt even fucking like says BA has a history with BW#that resulted in him being a triple changer and shes a bitch we all hate her wanna hurt her fuck this what the fuck#yes Im heated and if u tell me this is just fandom discourse and not blatent sexism at play I will simply explode u with my brain
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what games do adults play at dinner parties LMFAOOOOOO this is so dumb
#like first of all who plays games at dinner parties arent you supposed to like. eat dinner??????#games are a POST dinner thing!!!!!#im gonna explode a table like. CHESS????? do you play chess at dinner parties#cards?? bingo?? pictionary???? is pictionary a third grade thing or do dignified adukts play it too#and how am i supposed to make it CHRISTMAS THEMED do i draw fucking santas everywhede jm losing my mind#who gave me responsibility GODDDDD I DONT KNOW WHAT DINNER GAMES ARE#and also why would my mom make ME in charge of this shit likw and by SATURDAY thats like THREE DAYS#WHO PLAYS GAMES AT DINNER PARTIES god just eat the food what happened to eating and chatting#also i rlly dont wanna do my chem hw#avery rambles
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LISTEN I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS BUT I SWEAR HE WAS DISTINCT FROM RGGJO STILL 😭😭😭 HIS DESIGN WAS LOUD IN A DIFFERENT WAY 😭😭😭😭😭 though As A Whole it was probably the result of someone saying he should go full RGGJo in 8 several months prior to when I had the dream, so not wrong. But it would be fun to see a shift from "Nothing in life matters...😞" to "Nothing in life matters! 😎" would it not...
I've always thought Drink Link was meant to evoke Social Link? Because in Japan it was called #DRAMA. I was never the biggest fan because it's one of many "translations" in Y7 that are just changing something that was already in English and doesn't require cultural context to understand. Like IMO whether it's seen as an improvement or not, it's just not the localizers' job to "improve on" the original; let them be cringe and let them be free...
And also it gave ammunition to Persona fans who refuse to experience anything but P5 and decided to go "wow! it's just like P5!" at every little thing Y7 did from the VERY FIRST trailers onward (including BE AN RPG) And That Shit Got Old Fast </3 Sorry </3 But I do think this one's very much on purpose, localization-wise. So I forgive you :)
RANTING ASIDE. OR. SEGUEING INTO MORE RANTING. Literally like I don't even care if it's as part of the Kasugang or Kiryu's Geezer Squad... Give Jo five minutes with Tendo or hand him over to me so I can make sure he's enriched and well-nourished... these are my demands... that man is my everything......
Because it would be SO funny both ways. We don't know who all will be in each party, so either he's stuck with Adachi (Definitely A Character) (Affectionate) (Also Has Already Told Him He'd Rather Kill Him Than Send Him To Jail So. Awkward) or maybe with Kiryu's he'd have more people around his agw, But if not, The Inherent Comedy of two bitches called Jo and Joryu who have almost the same haircut 💀💀
Exactly though, nobody in the Arakawa Family is neurotypical and I FULLY believe Jo would be at his best when put into Situations, like Mine is. It's something I reeeally miss from RGGO because of the pre-finale scene with RGGJo and Mitsu having a drink at their favorite bar... they haven't been there in a while, and RGGJo doesn't wanna spoil the mood, so he's not hostile in the slightest... and when he gets up to leave he says he "forgot his wallet" and makes Mitsu foot the bill (ICONIC for completely different reasons depending on whether he's telling the truth or not)... whereas in Y7 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE ARAKAWAS HAVE A FAVORITE BAR
it could be funny- whiplash inducing, but that'd undoubtedly be why it'd be funny wouldn't it ♪(´▽`) he could've been some sacred third thing- just more RGGJo influence injected in Y7Jo mayhaps..
anyhow it dont sound like you forgive me when you just got mad at persona players for makin comparisons and here ive gone and done such a thing LMAO(;´д`)(;´д`)in any case, i know how you feel about translations so i wont press the topic: if it aint broke etc etc, i understand how you feel so it's ok (❁´◡`❁;;)
double 'jo' def woulda been funny, if not has always been a small thing worth jokin bout that ive had in the back of my mind (though ive already said that: i have a broken record of a brain at this point, if not that it just points out how silly i find the idea) LMAO. i've always enjoyed antag-turned-party member anyhow, so it wouldve been fun to me regardless of what it brought ♪(´▽`)
#long post#snap chats#i say unnecessary things a lot so its easy for me to say something upsetting oops (´▽`;;;)#its a habit im trying to break- to speak concisely instead of without aim. though if im realistic im not sure i can do that#i can only ask please be patient with me for saying annoying things in the future (❁´◡`❁)#im sure it'll happen a lot by accident and has already happened (❁´◡`❁ ;; ) so ill make sure to remember whats most bothersome (❁´◡`❁)#before my organs shut down on me let me move on OWOWOW#i remember the bit in rggo where jo forgot his wallet i truly couldnt stop myself from sayin My Guy Cmon 😭 ☠️☠️#in the case of rggjo its fun to imagine his forgetfulness as ambiguous cause Truly Did He Mean To Forget Or 🤨#in the case of y7jo its harder to believe hed do it on purpose so in the case where he does its just ☠️☠️#bros Truly losin it.... his mind AND his wallet... i know ichi gon make a joke 😔#aside from that though maybe jo would benefit from having friends his age <- saying this as if he's in grade school ☠️☠️#in the case of the arakawas having a personal favorite bar tho... i couldnt say#ive already made an assessment of jo's sociability through his office so i wanna make a half-confident bet he doesnt like to get out much#lest it's required for Whatever Reason- but what about arakawa then ? much to consider..#i honestly couldnt wager what he'd prefer.. i dont know what atmosphere he'd like... he's too mysterious for me (´▽`;;)#for some reason i can only ever imagine him drinking at home or at quaint restaurants...#idk cant explain it... thats just the vibe... very likely im wrong though..#my organs truly hurt now- i think i gave myself a headache by mistake so ill have to stop my pondering before i explode (´▽`;;)
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Looooving the Laios content!!!! If you have any nsfw headcanons for him we would love to hear those too👀
<3 i tried to keep it as gn as possible. reader is on the receiving end
laios wouldn’t really be interested in sexual things unless you ask him about it.
getting intimate with him would have to happen at random or unplanned.
he’s really just content with kissing and hugging you, he’s never once thought of sex. one kiss is enough to get him so high and happy.
please makeout with this man, it gets him going. he loves your lips, the way you hum into his mouth, and the gentle caresses you leave on his arm while you do.
your first makeout session gets him hard. normally, you two only exchange sweet kisses and touches, so he was shocked when you decided to crawl over his lap to hold his face better.
his mind explodes from there.
he’s a whimperer, please guys agree with me on this. a lot of quiet gasps and surprised voice cracks are gonna come out of him.
“mmf… nghh… mMph-!”
he loves it when you tug on his hair, when your fingers dig into his roots and firmly pulling it back while you grind down at him.
laios likes putting his hands around your body, he embraces you while moaning into your mouth, eager for more of your taste.
dont get me started with the whole “taste” thing.
this man loves to eat, we all know that. but he loves to eat you.
the first time is awkward, as he’s not sure where he’s allowed to touch you and he’s quite hesitant.
“i just… don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
“laios, i’ll tell you if i don’t like it, okay?
you’re both learning each other’s bodies, and after much reassurance he leans in and nips at your neck.
he’s a… mouthy person. loves sucking on your skin, biting your ear (gently of course), moaning into your shoulder. one thing he loves to do, which isn’t inherently sexual, is to wrap his arms around you while nosing and kissing the skin between your jaw to your shoulder.
he trails his lips all over you, making you giggle and moan at the same time. he just likes feeling you out tbh
laios is def girthy, nothing extreme, just a bit thicker than you’d realize. he’s kind of shy at first, no one has ever seen him like this so he doesn’t know if he’s considered “sexy” or attractive
until now, he paid no mind to his body, didn’t care if people found him hot or anything, but he’s suddenly embarrassed when its you.
“i-is it good enough…?”
“you’re literally bigger than 4 of my fingers combined.”
but yes, please praise this man. tell him you love him and that he’s beautiful.
laios eats up the praise, he has a dopey smile on his face and a blush on his cheeks. he loves knowing that he can satisfy you, it makes him feel fulfilled.
once you actually get to it, his body was trembling from the heat and warmth. he moans shakily while nuzzling his face into your hair, murmuring about how good you feel and how much he loves you.
he’s really loud. he’ll moan in your ear with no hesitation and you tease him about it afterwards.
aftercare with him is comfy and cozy. you both are spent as you cuddle into each other, basking in the afterglow.
he has such a loving gaze, he looks so much like a big puppy that it makes your heart melt.
“that… was really good.” he sighs, lips nuzzled into your hair. pulling back from his chest, you rub his cheeks as you relax into the pillows, staring up at him with a smug face. “i can tell. with the way you came after 10 seconds.”
“please don’t.” he groans.
don’t worry, after a few times he will memorize all the sensitive spots in your body and get you to cum a thousand more.
laios has good stamina and he can go for at least 2 or 3 more rounds. if you’re too tired, he’ll use his remaining energy to carry you to the bathroom and wash you both off.
will unintentionally get hard while he’s cleaning you, so please forgive him for that. he’s just really attracted to you lmao
“next time maybe you can try pulling my hair.” you lean back against his chest in the tub. “or maybe a tug?”
“i don’t know… i wouldn’t wanna accidentally hurt you.”
“……”
“…”
“laios are you hard right now?”
“i’m sorry.”
after that, you both will have a relaxing routine of drying each other’s hair and brushing your teeth before sleeping.
laios is eager to learn more about your body and he’s genuinely excited to figure out what gets you going. 100/10 lover, he can’t wait to go again.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#laios x reader#laios touden#laios touden x reader#dungeon meshi x reader#delicious in dungeon x reader#dunmeshi x reader#delicious in dungeon smut#dungeon meshi smut
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bro like dude
#ever feel so dissociative that ur like#idk like#it’s the worst thing ever when you have a problem but feel like you can never bring it up#actually dying rn like I need a solution but I’m so out of hope and faith rn#praying it actually resolves but my god man#I don’t even feel like the same person living in the same reality anymore#like oh my godddd my ass wants to die so badly#I know deep in myself that things will resolve and get back to normal but at the same time I feel like it’s never gotten this bad#but I still have faith I just don’t know how it’ll play out#worse case scenario nothing happens at all and I just explode under pressure after a few weeks#manifesting it doesn’t come to that#I just wanna die rn man#also it infuriates me so bad how much my mind just cannot will not cooperate with me rn#I don’t even know how to exist amongst ppl anymore it’s THAT bad#I mean I’m sure I’ve gone through emotional hell before and each time I’ve pulled out but god I just feel so immensely betrayed and idk what#to do about it#even worse it’s like sorrys have been given blah blah but the feeling just won’t leave me and it’s making me wanna rip my hair out#I know it’s bad to keep venting about it cuz I already vented a lot to myself for hours#but god man I just wanna break my head open lol#praying to god my ass doesn’t snap under the pressure and do dumb shit lolll#I’m kinda just floating through the day and everything feels Grey and I’m just staring at fictional stuff as a sort of escape just speeding#through multiple different things and hiding my emotions from literally everyone cuz I have zero clue on what to do about any of it#and I’m terrified of even doing that cuz I fear bad things will happen haha magical ocd things#things will definitely improve from this things will definitely get solved and not in a way that’ll leave me traumatized I know this for sur#I feel insanely alone right now
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#personal#dont mind me im gonna start complaining in the tags bc i just need to put this SOMEWHERE before i explode#i dont wanna be ungrateful............... ive been having the roughest weirdest time with my friends lately#and my friend just gave me my birthday present that was like a group present from them#which is what we normally do so like no surprises there#and they got me a nice gift like it was very nice of them to get me a polaroid camera#but i just. cant help but feel. disappointed.#bc it was so obvious that only one friend put in the effort to sus out what i potentially wanted#and even then it was something i was only kinda sure of#and like there were so many things i had wanted more surely idk#this sounds so petty of me like why didnt they get me something i wanted more >:((#its just. the lack of effort kinda stings lol idk!!!!!!!#and also lowkey salt in the wound moment bc like i wanted a polaroid camera back when we were still hanging out regularly#but we dont really anymore and i dont really hang out with anyone anymore#so wtf am i supposed to take polaroids of????#gonna just pictures of random shit and be like ah yes look at all this scenery and my no friends#it makes me miserable just thinking about it#anyone who enters my room and sees my severe lack of people in my polaroids is gonna clock me straight away i hate this actually#i just. wish. they got me something that didnt feel like my heart was being ripped out#it just feels. bad. i dont like this gift that is basically a reminder of how miserable my life is rn
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"Multi-talented Queen"
How I imagine the lads men react to hearing you sing for the first time.
Zayne
MC: Why are you staring at me?
Zayne: Just trying to figure out when you were going to tell me you could sing
MC: Okay prophet did you figure it out yet?
Zayne: Yes I have
MC: and what's the answer?
Zayne: You never were this is the only point in time when I was going to find out
MC: Im shy about my singing voice why are you mad?
Zayne: Im not upset ... I would just like to hear it more often
MC: Alright I'll sing you to sleep or something
Zayne: I accept your terms
MC: I was kidding hold on
Zayne: Too late I've already agreed to the terms and conditions
MC: What were the terms and conditions?!?!
Rafayel
MC: *Singing as she steps out of the shower*
Rafayel: *Busts open the bathroom door*
MC: WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
Rafayel: Why'd you stop singing?
MC: Because you busted in here like a fed and im butterball naked
Rafayel: Yea ..... nice ... very nice
MC: Focus fishie
Rafayel: Why didn't you tell me you could sing?
MC: you never asked
Rafayel: Do it again
MC: Do I bust in on you while you're naked and demand for you to sing?
Rafayel: I mean id be fine with that
MC: Get out
Rafayel: Sing first
MC: No
Rafayel: Come on please?
MC: You sing
Rafayel: I can't
MC: is your voice that bad?
Rafayel: No I have the vocals of a siren it will kill you
MC: *laughs*
Rafayel: ...
MC: ...
MC: Wait you're serious?
Xavier
Xavier: Are there any other secrets you're hiding?
MC: Are you still on this?
Xavier: You hid it from me
MC: I didn't hide anything I just didn't sing around you
Xavier: You hid it
MC: I get nervous singing in front of people and you still give me butterflies by just looking at me
Xavier: If I close my eyes will that help?
MC: That's not how it works Xavier
Xavier: What if I stand on the balcony with my back to you?
MC: Why do you want me to sing so bad?
Xavier: ....It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard
MC: S-STOP !
Sylus
Sylus: *Holds up his phone and plays a recording* You'd give Princess Fiona a run for her money
MC: MEPHISTO CAN RECORD???
Sylus: How many times do I have to remind you that he is a mechanical crow?
MC: He's a little shit that's what he is....
Sylus: What exactly was your plan?
MC: I was trying to make him explode the same way Fiona did
Sylus: and what came of that?
MC: Leave me alone Sylus
Sylus: How do you have so much animosity towards a crow?
MC: Why does your crow have so much static with me?
Sylus: You should sing more often
MC: No
Sylus: What if I say please?
MC: Still no
Sylus: Shall I beg?
MC: Still no ... well actually ... wait n-no ... I get nervous there's nothing you can say that will change my mind
Sylus: I'll move Mephisto into one of the twins rooms
MC: Send me a list of songs you wanna hear
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads zayne#lads xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#lnds#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS2wddQqs/
Just pulling Simon belt to rile him up
activated my neurons, anon— my brain is screaming
Come a Little Closer
spontaneous Simon “Ghost” Riley fic because ough— anon dropped a nuclear bomb on my brain and it exploded. Simon Riley didn’t know he had a thing for being lightly manhandled… he does now
CW: fem!reader, light manhandling (Simon receiving), Munch!Simon
Simon Riley is tall, he’s 6’2”/~188cm. he’s used to bending down to kiss you, coming to you for affection. he’ll take a couple strides over to you before pressing his lips to your forehead, leaning down to peck your cheek. sweet, little moments where he scoops you up to get his fill
Simon Riley loves when you smile up at him, coming to him for affection. when you wrap your arms around his waist, soft laughter pulled from you when he cups your cheeks and peppers your face with small kisses, “This what you wanted, lovie? Needed your Simon?”. it makes his ego soar knowing he’s the one you want, he’s the one that gets to pull you in and love on you
Simon Riley, who didn’t see it coming, flusters when you slip your thumbs around his belt loops, pulling him to you. it was a small, gentle pull, enough to have his hips tugged forward. he doesn’t expect the warmth spreading to his cheeks, the way his breath hitches - he’s a little awestruck as you lean up to kiss him. he’s felt flustered around you before, but this? his knees go a little weak as he kisses you back, shaky hands moving to rest on your hips
he’s been thrown around and manhandled during training, body pushed around and moved out of his control, but when you do it? it’s so gentle, caring as you pull him closer. it makes his heart squeeze, head spinning as you grin against his lips. when you move to pull back he cups your cheeks, calloused hands holding you like glass as he chases your lips, “‘Nother, give me another, love.”, he murmurs
Simon goes a couple days just thinking, replaying that kiss over in his head - you tugging on his belt loops. he stops wearing belts around the house, hoping you’ll come up to him and do it again, pull him whenever you want. he isn’t used to feeling like this, a strange warmth in his chest blooming at the memory
vulnerable, he trusts that you’ll treat him as carefully as he treats you. and as he rolls that memory around in his mind, his own hands settling on his hips, thumbs idly resting in his belt loops, he comes to a conclusion. he’s checking every room for you, stalking through your home with quiet footsteps. and when he spots you? he slowly comes up behind you, suddenly wrapping his arms around your waist, “Lovie.”, he croons, “Wanna try somethin’.”
he leads you to the bedroom, hand softly gripping yours as he gestures for you to sit on the bed. and he speaks so tenderly to you, hands parting your legs as he kneels on the floor. his request is soft spoken, a contrast to his gravely voice
“You— you want me to what?”, you ask, his request catching you off guard. he rests his chin on your thigh, hands kneading at your calves as he hums, “Use me, love.”. it has your cheeks feeling warm when he presses a kiss to your stomach, smiling against your shirt, “Please? Jus’ gotta tell me what to do, yeah?”
nothings even happened yet and he’s already hard, strained against his boxers and jeans. he’d be lying if he denied just the thought of you guiding him didn’t make his gut swirl with need. your reserved, tough Simon at your feet, looking up at you like you’ve hung the stars - he shifts to kiss a little lower, at the edge of your pants before he speaks again, “Anything you want, love, I’ll do it.”
and who’s he to deny you when your hand slowly rests on top of his head, careful as you lightly grip his hair. he coos sweet praise as you hesitantly guide him down, his hands moving to undo your pants. you push up slightly, hips off the bed so he can shift your pants down. he’s making sure you’re comfortable and content before kissing your thighs. he nearly chuckles when you guide him back between your legs
maybe he’s just being a tease, but when you ask him to lick he does just that - not moving your underwear out of the way. before you can complain he’s already lapping at you through the thin fabric, “S’good, love— this what you wanted?”. the friction is wonderful, has you absentmindedly tugging at his hair - pulling soft moans from Simon. he does want to tug your underwear off, maybe buy you a new pair and rip these ones, but he can wait
it gets to him though, and you can’t blame him, of course not. your Simon can be needy, not that he’d admit that, and he can’t help himself when he brings a rough hand down to your ankle. he gently moves your leg a little closer to him and straddles it, rocking his hips against your shin
eyes fluttering shut, he groans when you grind against his mouth - a moment passing before you ask him to actually eat you out. hips stuttering against your leg as he pulls back, his lips are already slick with his drool. “Yes, ma’am.”, gruff voice low as he tugs them to the side, a quick kiss pressed to your clit before he’s lapping at you again
a perfect night for Simon, your hand guiding him around where you need him most - from his mouth sucking on your clit, to your hand wrapped around his wrist, fingers pumping in and out of you. he’s letting you use him just as he had requested, anything for his lovie, hips pounding against yours
#erm anon you did something to my head#not complaining#ghost#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost headcanons#ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod#cod thoughts#call of duty#hit post
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