#it makes me so fucking angry and so fucking sad
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Made With Love
It takes one bite for Eddie to suspect he's done something wrong. A second bite confirms it. He's fucked up somehow and cannot for the life of him remember what it was.
Did he miss an important date of some sort? It couldn't have been their anniversary because that's August 13th (Eddie's new favorite day of the year, for obvious reasons). He absolutely didn't miss Steve's birthday. Not with how long he and Robin had spent planning the damn thing. (Eddie is never throwing another surprise party in his life; the stress of secret keeping was too much to bear.)
... Did he miss Robin's birthday?
No. That can't be. Steve would never let him miss that.
It could be one of the Party's birthdays, but Eddie doesn't think that's a transgression that would warrant this.
This, of course, being his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"What, your peanut butter's gone bad?"
Eddie lifts his eyes from the proof of Steve's anger at him to his coworker, Charlie, sitting across the table from him in the closet that Thatcher claims is the break room. "No. It's much worse than that, I'm afraid."
"Well, don't keep me in suspense," Charlie deadpans.
"This sandwich wasn't made with love," Eddie whines, looking back at the sandwich with as much sorrow as he can muster. He sets the sandwich down on the baggy he had pulled it out of so that he can frown down at it without having to touch the offending creation.
"Ah shit," Charlie says, voice filled with empathy. This is why he's Eddie's favorite coworker. He gets it. Possibly because he's the only person who's tasted the difference for himself, back when Eddie'd just started at Thatcher Tires. "What'd'ya do?"
"I don't know!" Eddie wails. "Everything was fine when I left this morning, or I thought it was anyway."
"Ain't your misses pretty good at lettin' you know you done fucked up?" Charlie, like the best coworker that he is, looks surprised that Eddie doesn't know what he's done. He's right, too. Steve is the goddamn king of petty, and Eddie has never struggled to know when Steve's mad at him. The struggle usually comes from Eddie refusing to be in the wrong.
(That's not to say that Eddie is always in the wrong. He's not. Sure, a good percent of their arguments Eddie is the one at fault and he's mature enough to admit so once the argument is over, but it's not always his fault.)
Anyway, the point is, regardless of who's at fault, Steve is angry at him about something and for the first time in months Eddie doesn't know what for. They'd promised each other, after their first very big fight that almost ended in a breakup and was over a misunderstanding, that they would tell each other why they're mad or upset or feeling some type of way. So for Eddie to not know...
He thinks he might have fucked up big time.
"I know!" Eddie cries, shoving the sandwich away from him to make room to drop his forehead onto the table, then turns to smoosh his cheek against the table so he can look at Charlie. "Charlie. Charlie what do I do?"
Charlie blows out a long breath, thinking, before he gives a decisive nod and says, "you gotta beg forgiveness."
Eddie knows Charlie's right. He doesn't know what he did but he's going to beg forgiveness anyway.
Which is how he now finds himself in the small floral section of the grocery store looking over the sad, wilted bouquets after work. His arms are already full with Steve's favorite ice cream, candies, an over-priced little blue teddy bear that's holding an 'It's A Boy!' card that Eddie plans to rip off, and a blank card with a painting of sunflowers on it that he plans to wax poetry about Steve inside.
The final part of his groveling is, of course, the flowers. It's the wrong season for sunflowers, so Eddie was going to settle for roses. It's just that these roses are all sad looking. They don't really scream 'I Love You More Than Anything Else In The World, Please Forgive Me For What I've Done' though.
Let it never be said that Eddie doesn't know how to beg forgiveness.
He ends up picking the least wilted looking bouquet, one with white and yellow flowers he can't name.
The cashier is an older lady who takes quick catalogue of his items and asks, "is it your anniversary, darling? Or, oh!" She picks up the blue bear and Eddie feels his ear heating with embarrassment as she coos, "are you expecting? How exciting!"
"Err, no, not, uh, no. It's just blue is hi-her favorite color, so I was planning to just cut off the little card," Eddie stutters out the lie. Blue isn't Steve's favorite color but Eddie's used to making up many little lies when talking to strangers. Being hate-crimed is not a passion of Eddie's. "I, uh, messed up. And I don't know what I did, but I'm going to make it right."
The lady smiles at him and gives him a firm nod as she scans the items. "Smart boy. I'm sure she'll forgive you."
Eddie gives her a smile he hopes isn't as tight-lipped as it feels on his face.
Back in the safety of his van, Eddie roots around until he finds a pen and gets to writing all the things he loves about Steve in the card and all the things he hopes they'll get to have in the future. Nothing they haven't spoken about before, but it still makes Eddie a little emotional writing it all down.
Once he's done writing, he pulls his pocket knife out and cuts off the 'It's A Boy' card from the bear, crumpling it up and tossing it in the back of the van to be forgotten. He shoves the sunflower card in it's place. His card is a bit wider than the previous one here so it stays in place, albeit precariously. He'll be careful handing it over to Steve.
He knows that Steve is at home already. Steve's always home first because he's off work at four compared to Eddie getting off work around five.
Well. Closer to five-thirty today with his stop at the grocery store. He really hopes that whatever has Steve mad at him isn't time related. Being late home without calling might earn him no favors if it's a time-based blunder.
Steve is in the kitchen, back to the door since he's facing the stove, as Eddie expected he might be. Which means that Eddie doesn't get to lay out all his Items of Forgiveness across the counter like he had hoped but that's okay. If the love of his life has chosen to forgive him, he knows Steve will be just as overjoyed to rifling through a bag of goodies as he would to pick them off the counter.
"Hi sweetheart," Eddie says, words oozing with adoration and sweetness.
"Hi baby," Steve's tone matches Eddie's, like an instinct to match Eddie's energy has written itself into Steve's DNA. And it might have. Eddie knows the reverse is true.
Steve turns from the stove, then, and his face lights up with delight and surprise. "What's all this?"
"Your favorite things, because I love you," Eddie says, raising his arms a bit. The grocery bag is looped over his wrist with flowers in one hand and the bear in the other.
Steve looks positively smitten.
Eddie is nailing this apology that isn't an apology. And let it be known; he cannot say he's sorry. It'll ruin everything. Because Steve, his wonderful, beautiful, kind and loving Stevie, will cock one perfect little caterpillar eyebrow and ask if Eddie knows what he's apologizing for, and Eddie will have to say he doesn't know and that isn't something he's willing to do. Especially not when it's looking like whatever Steve was mad about has completely slipped Steve's mind, too.
"I got your favorite ice cream, too, so we might want to get that into the freezer," Eddie says, passing the bear and card to Steve and shimmying around him to get to the freezer.
He lays the flowers on the counter and sets to emptying the bag. Ice cream in the freezer and goodies on the counter, while Steve reads the card silently behind him.
He knows he's successfully made up for whatever it was he had done, because Steve crowds him against the fridge shortly after setting the card down and turning the stove burner off, kissing him breathless.
Eddie even gets desert before dinner, with Steve all but dragging him to their bedroom.
-
The reddit post that inspired this -
#steddie#my fic#Steve's not even mad or upset. He was running a bit late and asked Robin to make Eddie's sandwich for him while he finished getting ready.#Robin just grabbed the wrong jelly not even knowing it was the wrong one.#but yes... steve does do the thing the lady in the reddit story does
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I've been thinking in a Cumplane friendship idea.--
You see, everyone seems to believe SQQ and SQH can't stand each other. Quite the opposite, really. When it's only the two of them they don't feel the need to keep up the pretence. It's so easy to relax, to put the mask aside.
They aren't peak lords nor cultivators. They're just two dudes in their mid tweenties trying to survive in this forsaken world.
SY knows he might not be the kindest nor the most loving of friends, (he spent so many years alone in a cold, hospital room, he's not good at socializing) but he does care for Airplane. A lot. He will never say it out loud because it's embarrasing but that stupid author is his best friend.
So, that's why when the news of Qinghua's disappearance finally reach him (two weeks, it took two full weeks before someone decided to tell him--- )they absolutely destroys him.
He seems calm at fisrt. Not truly procesing the news. LBG makes a few comments about something Mobei told him (you fucking knew and didn't tell me, how dare you, husband?! )
Gone, SQH? No, that's dumb. He couldn't be gone. He's a peak lord, he has responsabilities, a bunch of little ones to teach. He even takes care of the north. And most importantly why would he leave Mobei? It makes no sense, not fucking sense.
SQH wouldn't leave like that. He... he wouldn't leave SY behind.
He can feel sob building up in his throat. That... stupid, idiot--HACK AUTHOR!
His crying fit is so strong and sudden that sends LBG and his whole demon staff into a panic.
"Shizun?!" He says looking for visible injuries-
"Don't touch me!" He screams and LBG looks at him with hurt.
"Husband? Have... have this disciple done something wrong?"
SQQ just turns and walks to his chambers ordering LBG not to follow him. His husband is left feeling distressed and cries for very different reasons.
Later that night they talk. SQQ feeling tired and sad finally calls for his husband to comfort him. He explains to him why he is angry at him and LBG apologizes.
"This one thought you hated Shang-shibo and that Shizun wouldn't care about his dissapereance." He says in a small, careful voice. "Mobei jun came to the palace days ago to beg for help in his search... "
"You turned him away... " SY says, sounding very tired.
"Yes. But this husband will make it right, Shizun. I will find your friend for you, promise."
SY sighs and hugs his husband, hiding his face in his chest.
..
Idk 'm all over the place but the idea is that the system is glitching and took SQH and is kind of keeping him hostage? Like, in between worlds. Not the mordern universe, not PIDW.
I imagine LBG having a very hard time accepting his shizun worries and loves others and not just him (??? why??? I'm more than enough you need NO ONE else shizun). He's too possesive and would like very much just to lock his shizun away, but that would break him and he never wants to see him cry like that ever again. Even if that means he has to share his attention.
MBJ is very broken in this one fiding himself lost without SQH. they had just finally stablished their relationship so he's between angry and scared. Also his trust and loyalty to LBG has taken a blown since he refused to help him find his lover. Didn't he help LBG when everyone turned his back on him as he clinged to his dead shizun's body?
While they work together (before they can even figure out where sqh is) LBG slowly realizes he might have fucked up a bit and ??? misses Mobei ??? are they friends???!!
SY tries his fucking best to keep it together. Really, he loves Binghe but that man can be so dense.
They find where SQH is being kept. The place is like a limbo. Cold, and vast where no time passes. In order to get him back LBG, MBJ and SQQ work together to reforge Xin Mo and travel there. There's a cool fighting montage, tears, hugs and everyone is happy at the end
Yeah that's all i got so far. I'll be going back to work now--
#mobei jun#shang qinghua#svsss#svsss mobei jun#svsss shang qinghua#svsss luo binghe#mxtx svsss#shen yuan#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss shen yuan#bingqiu#moshang#missing qinghua au#king writes#cumplane friendship
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i like. i'm like sad right now. that there are so many people in the 911 fandom currently promoting eddie and chris characterizations which are just Deeply hateful to chris. like hateful to eddie yes but jesus christ. it isn't enough to be disgustingly ableist you also have to like mischaracterize christopher to make him into a little ball of venom and hatred to act out your weird resentment toward all children and the very concept of parenthood. like. okay 911 has its missteps with talking about chris's disability. but overall he's like a three dimensional disabled child character which is ACTUALLY pretty fucking rare in television. and some of you do not care at all about his character you look at him and see a vile little burden. you think he ruined eddie's life you think eddie resents him and that is simply not and has never been the case.
like eddie actually never treats chris like a burden. he loves chris. he loves being chris's father. he does his best to respect christopher and meet his needs without infantilizing him and he goes out of his way to get christopher what he needs to succeed and that fucking. Matters to me actually. like i know it's a dumb tv show i KNOW but the vast majority of disabled children do not have parents like eddie. and it makes me so fucking upset to see people taking this really beautiful relationship we have in canon and turning it into this fucking. disabled child as an albatross narrative that you see all the goddamn time. i'm sick of it like i'm fucking angry. idk
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Exchange -part 2 — mini comic squeal go the Eve is a witch and sold Adam to Lucifer.
At times, Adam felt more like the outlander in his own life. A misshapen puzzle never meant to fit dispute the ordain persistences that his piece was vital. Even Eve, whom had been ripped and molded from him, seemed more at peace with herself than he’d ever been. The forbidden fruit had gifted her a calmness he couldn’t understand. An unexplainable perception like the spear she had gifted him that night. A lure to a world she chained him to with a warm smile.
The birth of Cain and Abel had been the only fracture of her tranquility. A rare moment in which Adam could relate to by the sheer hopelessness he felt as he watched her crumple. Neither knowing what to do as cries for aid defaulted to her frenzy screams of agony. The bloody water that had pushed her children into the world leaving Eve in a state that had nearly crippled Adam to every stages of grief. A knife came after the spear.
“Our sons—“
“YOUR sons” Adam corrected religiously. The blonde babe in his lap blabbered and giggled in his lap. Making a game of dodging his meal of mashed fruits and carrots. His twin brother laying disgruntled in Eve’s lap, threaten to fuss, dispute having already eaten his own meal.
“Adam…” Eve said softly. Her expression warm and unrelenting in her gentle coxing. “The Angels will expect more—“
“Then ask THEM.” Adam said with a tightened jaw.
Food had been coming steadily easier now due to THEM. Scavenging more fruitful and hunting more successful with less risk; and it had only costed Adam nearly the last of his dignity. The last thing Adam would stomach was to be bullied into torturing Eve for a duty hilariously unrealistic to their current circumstances.
“But YOU are my husband. Do you not love me? Love us?” she whispered. A sadness had sipped in and Adam nearly rolled his eyes. The birth of the twins had only cemented his view of her as little more than an older equivalent of the babies rather than a wife. Quick to sulk like Abel and demand like Cain, Eve was still a child at heart. No environment nor apple would change that.
Adam paused to wipe the baby’s mouth. His eyes quietly scooping over the faint red markings adoring both children’s cheeks. Dispute the reality situation, their laughs and smiles gave meaning to the lifeless wastes of their home, and the soreness still lining Adam’s neck, and back.
“Not in the way you want” he admitted grimly. “No matter what piece you pay Lucifer with”.
Prevs:
- Adam doesn’t know how to be angry at Lucifer and Lilith. Not really. He doesn’t even know how to mad at Eve. His situation is just so unfair and so horrid, he’s just worried about the next day.
#adamsapple#guitarduck#adam x lucifer#lucifer x adam#traditional art#Ink wash#the aftermath#Hazbin su#human adam#eve has no idea to what she started#my art
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Everybody Loves A Clown
Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester x BestFriend!Reader
Genre: fluff covered angst
Summary: John died a week ago, and Dean's been weird. Sam's been up his ass about it but it finally comes to a head when Y/n decides to talk to him about the whole thing.
a/n: it has an open ending but i can write more if y'all eat this up
Warnings: Smoking, mentions of smoking, romanticisation of smoking, a lot of that yes, sorry. Don't smoke kids
“You were right,” Sam admits.
“About what?” Dean asks from where he stands over the Impala, wrench in hand.
“About me and Dad,” Sam answers with red eyes and a crack in his voice. “I’m sorry that the last time I was with him I tried to pick a fight. I’m sorry that I spent most of my life angry with him. I mean, for all I know he died thinking that I hate him.” He pauses. “So, you’re right. What I’m doing right now, it’s too little… It’s too late.” His lips tremble. There’s a self-deprecating smile on his lips as he continues, “I miss him, man. And I feel guilty as hell. And I’m not all-right. Not at all.” There’s tears in his eyes now as he stares directly at Dean. “But neither are you. That much I know.” He waits for a second, seeing if Dean might answer, and still knowing that he won’t. “I’ll let you get back to work.” With that he walks off.
Dean doesn’t know what to… do.
He fidgets.
He paces and fidgets.
He clenches his jaw hard enough for it to hurt and then he paces and fidgets some more.
Until his eyes fall on her.
“The fuck do you want?” He asks her.
In turn for his crude tone and cruder words, he is given half a smile. “Nothing,” she tells him.
“Then what the hell are you doin’ here?” He bites back.
To her credit, she doesn’t flinch away at his harshness. No, she just smiles wider.
She gets to her feet from where she was sitting on the steps of the shed behind them and walks over to Dean. She pulls something out of her pocket as she asks, “Asking, if you want a cigarette?”
The lack of pretence throws Dean off completely. “What?” is all that he can bring himself to say.
She shrugs, shaking the pack of menthols in her hands. “You want one?”
Dean, again, is met with the curiously unsolvable puzzle that is Y/N and left struck. “I didn’t know you smoked?” It’s a stupid thing to say, all things considered. But the fact that the answer is stupider consoles him some.
“I don’t!” she exclaims, a little too defensive to be God's honest truth. She pulls one cigarette out of the box. “Do you want one or not?” She throws the box at him.
Dean catches it on reflex.
“Fuckin’ menthols,” Dean curses looking at the box, but pulls one out for himself all the same.
“Might make your swimmers less effective,” she says a little too easily as she lights his cigarette, “but they’re a certified cure to sadness.” She smiles, lighting her own. And standing this close, with the flame from the lighter painting her all shades of yellow, Dean has to physically pull himself away. He has to will himself to take a step back and catch his breath. He gulps and takes a drag. He is clenching his jaw again.
“You should mind what you’re sayin’ while lighting a guy’s cigarette. Talking about my ‘swimmers’ when you’re an inch away from my face?” He shakes his head. “Another guy might take it the wrong way.”
“Or the right way,” she mutters, so jumbled and wrong, Dean’s not even sure he heard it correctly.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she dismisses him off handedly, a little too easily.
He decides to let it pass, because again, he’s not sure he heard it right. And if he did, he’s not sure he has the mental wherewithal to be able to deal with that implication. So, he lets it pass.
Besides, she doesn’t really give him any other option. “You remember how Sam was when Jess died last year?”
“It was last fucking year, yes! ‘Course I remember it,” Dean throws back, exhaling smoke out as he speaks.
She nods, “And?”
He knows what she’s getting at. “Sam was a mess,” he answers the unasked question. “I’m not like that.”
“That’s precisely the point I’m trying to make,” she states, taking a drag. “Not the second half, the first. Sam deals with emotions very openly. He… He lets himself fall apart and crumble. That’s what he’s gonna do now. He’s gonna get sad and he’s going to try and do things that John would have wanted him to do when he was alive. He is going to feel guilty and he is going to be a mess… because he deals with death, like he deals with everything else. He’s not emotionally constipated like you are. He’s normal…” She shakes her head slowly from side to side, reconsidering her words. “Or well, as normal as anyone in this line of work can be.”
Dean takes another puff. “Well, does he have to drag me into it?”
“Yes!” She answers, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
And it fucking isn’t. “Why?!”
“Because he isn’t used to this.”
“What? Death? We just established that—”
She shakes her head at him like he’s being difficult for the sake of it… Maybe he is, but it’s not fair for her to be able to read him that easily. She cuts him off then, with, “No. He’s not used to you being like this.” And the words hit him hard. She must see it too because then she pauses and brings the cigarette to her lips and takes a long drag. “He’s used to the flirty, cocky Dean, who’s an overall dickhead.” When she exhales the smoke, it’s thick and white. Don’t smoke, my ass, Dean thinks to himself. “He’s going to ask you if you need something. He’s going to try to make you feel better and he’s going to keep checking up on you, because he has never seen you—his big brother—bereft before.”
And fuck, if she isn’t talking complete and utter sense.
He runs a tired hand over his face, cigarette clipped between the index and the middle finger. “And what, you have?”
He’s not very good at people assessing him and his brother emotionally so accurately, okay? He needs to retaliate.
“No,” she replies easily with a smile. “When your mom passed away you were too young, and with everything that followed, I’m not even sure you had the opportunity to deal with it. This might as well be your first time dealing with loss.”
He clicks his tongue and raises his brows briefly in semi-agreement. And having been assess accurately once again, “Well, isn’t that just fucked?”
She nods. “It is.” She brings the cigarette to her lips. “But at least you’ve got me.”
He laughs.
It’s kind of cruel that he does and he knows it.
But he laughs, because what the fucking hell?
And again, he’s fully aware of his cruelty in this moment and ready for the repercussions.
What he isn’t ready for is to look at her and see her wearing a smile instead of a hurt look on her face.
“You think you’re gonna save me, sweetheart?” He retorts, adding to his asshole-ry.
She shrugs. “I don’t think I’m meant to save you, Dean,” she says, all too politely while taking a puff from the cigarette. “I just meant…” she looks at him. “I know what you’re going through.”
“No, you fucking don’t.” His words are harsh and cold and painful and mean.
You’ll break her, he thinks. You’ll break her and it’ll hurt worse than anything ever could.
But she doesn’t seem to be breaking. “Your dad died ‘cause of a demon and you feel responsible for it—”
“I don’t feel responsible for it, I am responsible for it. He died to save my life. It was supposed to be me who you salt and burned, not him! It was me who was supposed to be dead, not him!” And he’ll carry that weight with him for the rest of his fucking life. “You have no fucking idea what I’m going through.”
Her eyes are locked to his as she counters without hesitation. “My brother died because of a demon and I feel responsible for it.”
Dean can do nothing but close his eyes and yell out in frustration, “It’s not the same!”
“Isn’t it?” she bites back, standing straight and unmoving in the face of Dean’s rage. She doesn’t let him answer. “It was supposed to be my job. I was supposed to be the one who got possessed by a demon and driven around like a meat-suit. I was supposed to be the one who died in a freakin’ basement like a rat. It was my job, Dean. I was the first call, the second and the third… But I just decided to ignore it. But he didn’t… ‘Cause he’s nicer than I am…” She winces, looking away. She looks hurt for the first time since they began this conversation. And it seems she’d done it to herself. Because then she corrects, “Was nicer…” She takes another drag from her cigarette. “So, fuck you. But I know what you’re going through.”
He bites his lips.
Then he lets his head fall.
Because as much as he’d like to fight her on this, he can’t.
She’s right… as usual.
He doesn’t know what to say to any of that so he stays quiet. Moreover, he thinks he’s kinda supposed to. Because she doesn’t swear often, even less so at him. So yeah, zipping it might be the right call here.
She takes charge then, as he begins pacing and smoking once more. “This might be your first go around at grief. Sam’s second. But, for once, I’m the season player.”
When he turns to look at her, she’s smiling.
“Does that mean you’re gonna keep fucking smiling at me like that?” He retaliates, again. He’s already told you the logic behind that one.
“Sorry,” she holds up her hands in surrender. “I don’t mean to. I’m not smiling at you—not really.” She smiles again. “It’s just… It’s just that look on your face. I’ve seen it before.”
“I thought we just established you’ve never seen me like this before?”
“No, not on you,” she clarifies.
“Then?”
“In the mirror,” she tells him honestly. “Every morning for the last three years.”
Fuck him. Fuck this. And fuck everything.
A part of him, a selfless and kind part of him wishes she didn’t get him, wishes she’d rather be hurt at his words than look at him with so much understanding.
But another part of him, the selfish and unkind part of him, is comforted by the fact that at least someone does, in fact, get him. Even more so, he’s comforted by the fact that it’s her.
“So, take it from someone with experience,” she begins then, breaking him out of his mind numbing miserable thoughts. “You’re gonna wanna explode. You’re gonna wanna break something.”
“You got a cure for that, oh experienced one?”
She smiles again. “Yeah, break it.”
“What??”
She shrugs all too easily, taking another drag. “If you can find something you can break, that won’t hurt anyone, that you could ideally fix, then yeah! Break it.”
He stops pacing to look at her and cocks her head. “Will it make me feel better?” He is genuinely curious.
She outright laughs at him then, “No!” She brings her foot up and butt the cigarette on the back of her boot, sending embers falling to the ground like fireworks. “Nothing ever will…” She looks back at him, still smiling, “But it'll help.”
Dean sighs.
He nods.
And then he throws the cigarette to the ground, steps on it and then walks over to the side. He picks up a crowbar, and then he walks back to the Impala. He grips the crowbar tighter and then he smashes the window.
Then he starts slamming it into the trunk, over and over and over and over again. It clatters to the ground.
He keeps at it till there’s a hole in the metal near as big as the one in his heart.
And when he’s done, he lets the crowbar fall to the ground and pulls the packet of smokes out of his pocket. He grabs a cigarette and places it right between his lips. When he looks up, she’s close to him again, lighter in hand.
She looks at him and he looks at her.
Then she lights his cigarette. “How’d it feel?”
“It didn’t make me feel any better,” he replies, handing her the packet back to her when she smiles at him. “But it helped.”
She nods, and takes the entire packet to her lips, with her teeth she pulls one cigarette out and then lights it, pocketing the packet and lighter in one go. “Look, I know you… You don’t know how to deal with this, and as much as I want to, I can’t really help you with it either but unlike me, Sam’s not gonna get it.”
“I know,” he tells her. Because he knows that his brother means well, but he has a tendency of being too in your face about it.
She hums in agreement, as if hearing her thoughts. And fuck, if he’s to go by her track record, maybe she can. “You’re gonna wanna get mad, go crazy and lash out. So… I’m suggesting that you do that with me, instead of him.” Her eyes are too fucking kind as she adds, “If you want to get mad, go crazy and lash out—lash out at me, get mad at me.”
Dean can’t fucking breathe.
“Why?” he asks.
“‘Cause he’s grieving too.”
“That the only reason?” he asks, hoping for… well, you know what he’s hoping for. You’re his inner monologue.
She tilts her head with a sweet smile. “You gotta mind what you’re saying, Winchester. Being emotionally vulnerable when you’re an inch away from my face? Another woman might take it the wrong way.”
He can’t help himself.
He snorts.
“Or the right way,” he says then with a smile of his own.
And fuck it all, her face turns red at the realisation that he’d heard her.
He loves it so fucking much that he’s not even bummed about her taking a step away from him.
“Asshole,” she curses him, but her heart’s not in it.
“I’ve got one condition though,” he says and watches confusion break onto her face. “For lashing out at you instead of Sam.”
She shakes her head fondly, at his wording. “What is it?”
“You promise to do the same.” It’s the kindest thing he can offer her. His misery, in exchange for hers.
She chuckles at that. Morbid as it may be, their sense of humor was always on par with each other. “Sure,” she says. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
He raises his hand, cigarette still wedged between his fingers, “Shake on it?”
Apparently, that’s the wrong thing to say ‘cause then she makes a disgusted face like the hand he’s offered is covered in snot.
Slapping it away, she throws the smoke in her hands away and she steps closer. And then hugs him.
The action catches Dean off-guard.
It takes a second for his brain and his heart to have a meeting and catch up with each other. And then finally his brain sends the signal out for his to hands drop the cigarette and wrap around her.
Probably encouraged by him hugging her back, her grip on him tightens. And fuck if that doesn’t thaw Dean’s cold, broken, blackened heart. He happily does the same, snuggling his face into her neck and breathing her in.
They stay like that for a bit, until Dean realises she’s waiting on him, letting him have his fill.
Reluctantly, eventually, Dean lets her go.
When he does, if she can spot his misty eyes, she doesn’t mention it.
Instead she says, “Now, hand me the crowbar.”
“Huh?”
“What, you think I don’t wanna break shit?”
#dean winchester x reader#dean x reader#dean winchester fic#dean winchester angst#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester x you#dean x you#dean x y/n#spn fic#dean winchester one shot
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PUNCH OUT HEADCANONS: Clueless Friends Edition
so i showed my friends the punch out cast and asked them to make up headcanons for them (they have never seen nor heard of punch out outside of me rambling to them about it)
so uh
here it is
GLASS JOE
-Wet the bed as a kid
-Probably still does it
-Denys it
-Goes honk shoo honk shoo when he sleeps
-Had a mullet in middle school
-Has to draw on his eyebrows
-Mouth Breather™
-Wears a cap and nightgown and holds a candle at night
-Can’t swim
VON KAISER
-Bartender
-Screams into his pillow at night
-Screams like a little girl
-Wore light-up Sketchers in middle school
-Got bullied for it
-Goes to the gym to cope
-Fucking YEETS the dumbells
-Flexes on people (also to cope)
-If he is told to sleep on the couch, he will sadly sulk there like a emo person (cue sad hamster music)
DISCO KID
-Babygirl
-Zesty
-Took ballet/gymnastics
-Optimist
-Accidentally broke a trampoline
-Was the popular kid in school
-THE sweetest guy
-Cat person
-Owns 4 cats
-Wears fluffy robes
KING HIPPO
-Plays League of Legends
-Tweaks out HARD at Angry Birds and Super Mario Wii (friend is totally not projecting)
-Really good at board games
-Gamer
-Patrick Star kinnie
-Does NOT cackle. He giggles
-Has Live Laugh Love framed over his toilet
-His snores have caused earthquakes
-Heavy sleeper
PISTON HONDO
-”He did WHAT in his Honda?!”
-Behaves like that one English teacher you had in middle school
-aka the ”Never in my 15 years of teaching have I seen a substitute report this bad” teacher
-ponders
-Dances to animation memes
-Worked at Burger King once
-Constantly pissed
-Goes honk mimimimi when he sleeps
-If he ate a cheeseburger he would explode
-Was the guy who made the post that just says “everytime a new chicken sandwich releases”
BEAR HUGGER
-Smells PUTRID
-Real name is Cleetus
-Lumberjack
-Has a lisp
-Gets food in his beard
-Eats it (EWWWW 🤢)
-His theme song is “Entry of the Gladiators” (aka clown music)
-Wouldn’t survive a day in the military
-Plays Microsoft Flight Simulator
-Goes “weeeeee!” as the plane flies
-Has a poster that says “Eat Slur Game Repeat”
-Redneck
-Has a shirt that says ”These Fists Are Rated E for Everyone”
GREAT TIGER
-HOT
-Has the most beautiful hair but hides it
-Binged My Little Pony
-Binged Twilight
-Plays with Barbie dolls
-Listens to Kpop
-AMAZING at Just Dance
-Also good at DDR
-Plays Pikmin
-Loves the Stone Pikmin
DON FLAMENCO
-Once got addicted to cough drops
-Uses really bad pick up lines
-Does really bad trickshots to impress girls
-Slips like a cartoon character. His shoes go flying every time
-Watched MLP with Great Tiger
-Watches Mean Girls
-Kins Regina George
-Cried when she got hit by a bus
-Zesty
-Scoliosis
-Can pick my friend up with one hand
-Would lean on a wall, say “hey cutie, you free tonight?” and immediately have a coughing fit
-Took an Am I Gay? Quiz. It said yes and refuses to believe it (internalized biphobia)
-Likes big butts and he cannot lie
ARAN RYAN
-Menace
-Actually very lightweight, refuses to admit it
-Bullies kids on ROBLOX
-Keeps getting censored in chat
-Plays Dress to Impress
-Would hit you if so desired
-Uses Joker quotes
-Bakes pink cupcake in spare time
-Would make a balloon animal for a kid and then pop it like Gru
-The guy he tickled in his character intro was Don Flamenco
-Killed someone, steals, graffitis, takes candy from babies
-Should be in jail
-ADHD
-”Ya prob’ly got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya Mac?!” “well you have horseshoes”
SODA POPINSKI
-Dropped on the head as a kid
-Nicknamed ”Pinhead Larry”
-Oiled up
-Naturally loud
-Skipped leg day
-Mr. Krabs walking sound when he tiptoes
-Speedruns Hello Neighbor
-Hands are too big for the keyboard
-Makes dad jokes and laughs at himself because no one else laughs
-Gets bullied by Aran Ryan for his dad jokes
BALD BULL
-Someone threw a bowling ball at his head
-Peak Male Performance
-40% chip (context for this is in comments)
-Watched game shows, was in one once
-Blurts out the answers at the TV, gets pissed every time they get it wrong and screams
-Screams like the ash baby
-Shakes randomly
-Ate lead paint
-Ate a glow stick
-”ladies, ladies, calm down, theres enough of me to go around” (stolen from don flamenco, difference is this actually works)
-ash baby coded???
-Teeters on the line of being ugly and hot
-Gets beauty sleep
-20 step skincare routine
SUPER MACHO MAN
-”he looks like a founding father”
-Shrimp posture
-UGLY??
-Listens to phonk unironically
-Has jiggle physics
-Uses his chest to type on keyboards
-says “eureka!” when he as an idea
-FAKE chain
-wears speedos (canon)
-its his only outfit
-played five nights at freddys and shit himself
-Pimp
-GILF
-Looks 72, is 27
MR. SANDMAN
-Drag Queen
-Chappell Roan listener
-Once tried to wax his nose but got q tips stuck in it
-REALLY into horoscopes and gemstones
-NAPALMED a homeless shelter
-Dances like the dame tu cosita guy
-fucken BUSTS IT DOWN to every song
-Throws gang signs in his boxing gloves??
-Does the Omni-Man squat sometimes
-Ate a lightbulb and that's why his skin glows
-Skips to the song “Mr. Sandman” because he’s babygirl like that
LITTLE MAC
-Floats in the air when he smells pie
-Anime protagonist
-Loves Ben 10
-Had a greasy mohawk
-Ate a bug
-Sticks his head out of the car window
-Gulps and goes “EEEYIKES!!!” when he has to fight a strong opponent
-Listens to Mitski
-Loves the movie Ratatouille
-His favorite character is Remy’s brother
-Makes kandi bracelets
-Asserts dominance by T-posing
DOC LOUIS
-Wears yoga pants
-Has asthma
-Runs up the stairs on all fours
-Maximum silly
-Watches romcoms and cries
-Draws watches on his wrist and looks at it when someone asks him for the time
-Watched Skibidi Toilet AND knows all of the lore
-Doesn’t know what a tampon is
-Listens to the song that goes “once I was seven years old”
-Mama’s boy
-HORRIBLE driver
#shitpost#?#really bad headcanons#punch out#punch out wii#glass joe#von kaiser#disco kid#king hippo#piston hondo#bear hugger#great tiger#don flamenco#aran ryan#soda popinski#bald bull#mr sandman#little mac#doc louis#never letting my friends cook again#what the fuck is this#some of these are accurate but#king hippo playing league of legends??#the fuck???#send help
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Hi everyone welcome to Tumblr's favorite game: Things That My Dumb Fucking Classmates Said In History Today (learning about the woman's rights movement in the UK)
They [the suffragettes] deserve to be punished and hoped that they would never see their children again.
Laughed at the idea of woman killing themselves. - this was followed by how the police officers in the prisons should have "just let them die" when they went on a hunger strike. my teacher tried to explain to them that the police can't "Just let them die" but they were not, unsurprisingly, listening and just kept repeating "but that's suicide though!"
saying that woman have the same rights as men and tried to name a right that woman have that men don't have. yeah because its not like womans rights have always been actively hung our heads just out of our reach. (honestly I would LOVE to see what their mothers would think of this and what sort of world they live in to think that woman have it the same as men)
after that one of them had suggested (trying to find a right that they don't have that men do) that "woman get SA'd" the other responded that men do too and, after a bit of denying at the possibly, they started laughing.
"[The suffragettes] deserve the death penalty" no notes, just plots of murder after this one. (which they kept repeating)
making fun of the womans rights movement saying that they "should bomb a place and say that they want the voting age lowered" and "start a roadman movement" (the dumb fucks)
saying that "[the suffragettes] should all be locked up" (while its a fair enough comment that, yes, the suffragettes did use lots of violence [though they did start peacefully until they realized that no one took them seriously and they could be easily hidden from the public] I don't think this comment was made in good heart for obvious reasons)
laughing and making jokes about Emmeline Pankhurst (s' tragic, absolutely horrid) death.
"I'm on the side of the law" - said after being called out for multiple, open, sexist comments from the teacher and still continued to argue with her.
kept on saying "but if the roles were reversed!!!" in every fucking scene of woman suffering at the hands of men. every. fucking. scene.
A woman's son was taken from her? couldn't see him for months? Tried to wish him a happy birthday but walked into him being taken away to a different family without her knowledge nor consent? begged her son to not forget her name and look for her when he's grown? had to deal with YEARS of emotional abuse from her husband but stayed because if they split up he would have the child and have all the say on it? Gets so fucking sad and angry that she starts yelling and slapping him (the man whos been emotionally manipulating her for all their marriage and has seemingly no love for her)? deals with pain like a normal fucking human being? "iMaGiNe If ThE rOlEs WeRe ReVerRsEd!!!"
if these boys suddenly disappear don't look at me alright idk what happened 🤷♂️
people wonder why we still need feminism when boys in my class were comparing what the suffragettes (/womans right to vote movement in the uk) did to get the right to vote (hunger strikes, arson attacks, destroyed property where the majority of people would notice, leaving behind notes to say that they did it, etc, etc) to Hitler. They were comparing woman who just wanted to be fucking equal to men and get the right to vote for all woman (not just rich white woman like the suffragists did) to HITLER.
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Ocean eyes
Stepbrother au
Warnings: curses
mainly inspired by the Billie Eilish song ocean eyes🫢
Summary:You and rafe were step siblings, ever since your parents met they just had to be together. Rafe hated that though, so he ultimately hated you. He was mean, and always doing something to make everyone angry at him. Except you. You liked Rafe, even if he he was so mean sometimes for no reason you still remained sweet to him, the sweetest girl in fact, and that’s what annoyed Rafe the most. You clung to him always, especially when your parents were out, or away, like they were this weekend.
It was just you and rafe in the house, he sat in the living room, “Rafeyy!” I shout as I come down the stairs, as soon as I arrive in the living room I see Rafe’s blonde hair and broad shoulders as he slumps back to couch with a gruff look on his face as he watched the tv. "Shh! For fuck's sake, will you be quiet?" He muttered under his breath "Always fuckin' noisy..." he takes a swig of his beer, deliberately avoiding looking at you "What do you want, y/n?” I sit down next to him on the couch, our arms slightly touching which was seeking me more comfort than it should. “Just wanted to spend some time with my stepbrother, what are you watching?” He rolls his eyes as you sit next to him, his arm tensing as you get too close for comfort. "Last nights game, you're gonna sit here and stare at the tv with me?" He asks sarcastically, taking another swig of his beer. “Thats what i was planning on doing yeah.. if it bothers you just say so god..” I slightly roll my eyes, i never understood his attitude and why he was so cold all the time towards me. "I don't want you near," He snaps, his temper flaring. "Happy now?" He takes another swig of his beer, trying to drown out the fact that you're still sitting there acting all nice to him. “Fine, I.. I guess I’ll just go then..” i mutter as i stand up to leave with a disappointed look on my face, as i start heading to the kitchen.
A few moments pass, it feels so quiet but Rafe’s thoughts aren’t, he gets up from the couch, his feet carrying him to the kitchen despite his brain telling him not to. He leans against the doorframe, watching you as you grab some food. He hates how you always look so sad when he snaps at you.
As i rummage through the fridge and get some ingredients, i hear a slight creak causing me to turn around, and there he was, Rafe standing right in the door. “You need something?” I ask, i cant help but still be nice to him, this is one of the traits i hated about myself, my niceness. "No," He says gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just came to see what you were doing." He watches as you turn back to the fridge, his eyes trailing over your small figure. He quickly looks away, not wanting to get caught staring. “Well.. im gonna make your favorite so you better be hungry.” I turn around smiling up at him with all the food piled up in my hands, i quickly settle it down on the counter. “Im not hungry y/n..”he snaps, even Rafe didn’t know why he snapped at you, why was he so annoyed by your presence? What was even his issue? He walks further into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. "You're too fucking stubborn for your own good, you know that?" I look up at him. “Oh so im the jerk for caring for you or what?” I slightly raise my voice which usually never even happens, but this time he was acting really stubborn. “And what is that even supposed to mean?! Look at how YOU’RE acting right now..” I huff. "It means you don't take no for an answer, even when it's clearly what someone wants," His eyes trace your features, noting how the harsh kitchen light brings out the freckles across your nose. "Like right now." “I really don’t wanna play one of your games tonight Rafe, plus all this shit that you’re doing doesn’t affect me get that in your head.” I turn away from him refocusing on preparing the food, “Oh, it'll affect you," He says, his voice cold. "It'll affect you more than you realize." He reaches out, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up at him. "You think you're so fucking tough, but you're not." He looks at me with his piercing cold ocean blue eyes, all i see is hatred. I realize im not tough, my eyes began to tear up and my throat goes dry i try to look away, pull away, but his grip is tight. He notices the tears welling up in your eyes and something inside him snaps. "Fuck," He curses, his grip on your chin tightening. "Don't cry, goddamn it." He pulls you into his chest, holding you tightly against him. I breathe in his rich woody cologne and the words “Im sorry..” spills out from my mouth. "Don't apologize," He murmurs, one hand moving to stroke your hair while the other keeps you firmly against his chest. His heart is racing, beating against your ear. "Stop... being so fucking sweet to me," He whispers, voice cracking slightly. "It makes everything... harder."
#fanfic#outer banks#obx#rafe obx#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe x you#rafe fic#stepbro!rafe#obx season 4#obx fic#obx fanfiction#obx x reader#rafe smut
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i. am so mad. i'm mad at season 4 and at every one of you that interacted with my last post abt vld season 3. i know u were all sitting there giggling at me as i walked into s4 knowing full well it was going to destroy me. no WARNING??? i don't even want to sit down and write about it, i'm gonna start crying all over again
i hate that keith left the team. i have to actually practice breathing techniques right now because it's making me so mad omg. i know i said last time that voltron without lance was unthinkable, but i didn't mean that keith should leave. THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!! that also means that there was less keith (and klance) content this season, which i take personally. they did that to hurt me specifically. and on top of that, the team was being so mean about keith's wavering priorities. i feel like when anything goes wrong, with lance and keith specifically, everyone is so mean to them??? god forbid they make a mistake or have personal struggles, DAMN
i feel like this screencap says it all.
guys how about let's talk to each other instead of being passive aggressive and icing people out (i do want to point out though that lance seems more sad/disappointed here than anything. my little klance heart is breaking 😭) AND THIS SCENE??
the moment i realized keith was about to walk in my stomach dropped. they all look so angry and here comes Mister Puppy Eyes McGee. i actually can't take it that's my son everyone leave him alone!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺 i know they had a big group hug after but that's not good enough for me, they should have tied keith up or handcuffed him to the ship, or something. WHY ARE WE LETTING HIM GO WITH THE BLADE OHMYGODDDD
look at this, like??
the camera setup is what gets me. you have keith smiling with all of his friends in the background and then it swaps to a dark, yawning hallway with the most heartbreaking frown on his face. that doesn't look like someone sure of their decisions to me. this boy is in pain!! i'm also just confused about shiro being able to pilot the black lion. maybe confused isn't the right word, but i'm not sure how to describe it. i'm not convinced?? black already denied him, so why now? i kinda feel like it would've been better had he not tried to reconnect with her at the end of last season, because there was no suspense for me this time. the moment he decided to go try again i was like "oh it's gonna work this time isn't it" i get that it's likely black could sense keith's internal struggles and feel him pulling away and maybe that's why she gave shiro a second chance, but shiro becoming the black paladin again gave keith the excuse to leave, because why do they need him now? they have a black paladin, and it's not him. but to me, it should have been. he went through all of that growth last season, and for what?? just to abandon them when things get rocky?? ugh, i hate this!!
i can't even talk about episode 2 without crying, so just know that i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face as i write this. i was really excited to finally get some closure on the whole pidge-missing-family mystery, considering that's been a subplot since the beginning of the show. as much as this episode broke my heart, i really did love it. they executed it so well. the scene where pidge lands on that planet with the graves? and they're running and pleading for it to not be true, all the flashbacks of cherished memories and images of matt? dropping to her knees in front of his grave in disbelief??
now that's fucking cinema. you best believe i was bawling my eyes out the whole time. i have a little sister and our relationship is very similar to pidge and matt's, so this was just excruciating. i'm very glad he wasn't actually dead, but part of me almost wishes he was? that sounds SO dark, i hope you guys get what i mean. they just put the audience through the absolute wringer and then they're like "oh, actually he's still alive LOL gotcha!" and that makes me really happy for pidge, but man, what a plot twist that would have been. they've been searching for their brother all this time, so you expect some kind of payoff for dedicating so much time to that storyline, but what if he was just dead?? and there was nothing she could do?? wow this is painful to talk about why did i start watching this show if there's a fic where someone explores that possibility then pls share, for some reason i want to torture myself again, i just love how they did this episode. it's very trope-y, but sometimes you just have to lean into it and enjoy, and this was one of those times
the classic fighting-each-other-unknowingly and middle-of-the-fight-identity-reveal? i'll eat it up every time!!
real talk though why is matt so attractive 😏
soo, zarkon is back. fantastic. do he and haggar just not care about each other?? they haven't mentioned the fact that they're married at all and haggar basically still acts like his loyal follower. i'd entertain the thought that maybe it's been so long that it just doesn't really matter to them anymore, but haggar sounded like she actually cared when she realized they were husband and wife last season. but now it's like nothing happened?? i don't expect them to act all lovey-dovey, but there wasn't even a single line of acknowledgment. and i still cannot understand what lotor's plans are. what is his agenda? he wasn’t bothered at all by zarkon reclaiming the throne, and even went to the trouble to make them think he cared. he got that comet and made a couple of ships, but i still don't know what he plans to do with them. also– i can't believe he killed narti!! i know, i was literally just talking about how she specifically frustrated me, but i was so not expecting their death. i get why he did it, but now the rest of his group doesn't trust him.
i'd say that the one bright spot in this season was episode four. that episode was just so silly and gave me so much secondhand-embarrassment i actually had to look away at times LMAO is this where we got the whole Loverboy Lance and Lone Wolf Keith thing from?? i thought that was purely fandom-made, i was not expecting to hear that in an actual episode. talk about whiplash. and we got this ICONIC scene:
he did that wayyy too naturally. lance, buddy, got anything to share?
i really would have loved to see keith with the team during that episode. i can just imagine how he would've reacted to having to do all of that stuff. god, that would've been hysterical!! the images of the parasite in coran's brain made me gag though, was that really necessary🧍♀️
i don't have a ton to say about the final episodes. i mean, it was two episodes of them fighting on naxzela. it was definitely a bit of an avengers endgame feeling with all people they helped in previous seasons showing up to fight, so that was cool! i'm curious as to what purpose naxzela served to the galra empire though. were they always planning to use it as a bomb? and couldn't they still do that technically? they only broke the witches connection with it, so all they'd have to do is get another ship out there and she could do it again. what do you even do with a planet like that?? just destroy it?? i also just want to point out that lance said they should get out of there immediately, and nobody listened!! and then five seconds later they were like "oh no, we need to get out of here!" justice for lance i stg ohmygod and LOTOR is on their side now?!?!?! i actually can't wait to see how this plays out!! total transparency, i love atla and i could absolutely see this being a zuko redemption arc situation. it's clear his parents don't like him at all (are they actually heartless or something??) so why not join the other side!! I'M HERE FOR IT
i have to be honest, this definitely wasn't my favorite season. we're getting into the later seasons and i've heard plenty about how the writing goes a little left-field (though i'm not sure when that happens. most people seem to agree season 8 is shit, but i've heard complaints about s6-7 as well) so we'll just have to see! i'm sticking it out as best i can🚶♀️➡️ onto season 5!
#vld#voltron#voltron season 4#adie's voltron watchthrough#keith kogane#i was not kidding about episode two btw#any time u want to feel something just watch that episode
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man.
#ok so#cw suicide#not like about anyone specific it's just like. very relevant to the story#so there's this bridge that i live near that goes over this kind of tall chasm#just with like a small creek and a load of trees and stuff it's just down a bit of a cliff#and of course. you can probably guess what happens unfortunately pretty often there#so when i started going to therapy i would drive past that bridge every day. and i noticed over time#people started adding notes to the bridge saying like 'don't do it you have so much to live for' and stuff like that#like with sharpie or laminated index cards ziptied to the bridge and stuff#well last week the cops took fucking ALL of it down and painted over it all because it's 'grafitti'#motherfucker i saw notes from people who CAME BACK to thank the graffitists because it made them turn around#it makes me so fucking angry and so fucking sad
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“Undertale and it’s FOUL community” STOP IT!!!!!!! IM MADE FUN OF ENOUGH!!!!! STOOPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!! (this kind of thing makes me so angry)
#utmv#undertale#didnt watch it so maybe it’s a clickbait title whatever#but it makes me so angry and sad#like bro!!!! im trying my best here#we’re deemed cringe enough let us live 😭#‘who is this?’ ITS PALETTE YOU UNCULTERED SWINE#ITS PALETTE. FUCKING#HHHRHRRGRGR#SFOP USING PALETTE HE ISNT PROBLEMATIC#HE DOES. NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THE THUMBNAIL#HALF OF IT IS ROUGE#THATS ONE PERSON#THERES PEOPLE LIKE THIS IN EVERY FANDOM#STOPPPP#STOP THISSSSSSSS
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guh just finished playing dsaf 3 i am. mentally unwell
#LIKE WHAT THE FUCK MAN YOU CANT JUST DO THAT#i fucking cried only one game has ever made me cry and that was when i was like seven and first beat minecraft#i still gotta do the evil route but omy god#hey guys what if. what if fredbear lets jack move on and we dont see it. thats what happened actually#<-(delusional)#that said though i do love it its bittersweet and so fuckinf sad but really good#one minute im buying cocaine froma horde of angry toddlers and rhe next im SOBBING about these purple and orange WORMS therse FREAKS i HATE#THEM#my art#dave miller#dayshift at freddys#dsaf#dsaf fanart#i dont really know what this art is i was just sad and making drawing and the ueh#dsaf blackjack
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I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...
It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.
Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#sometimes you DO need to freefall without a parachute. sometimes the 'just get better! ☺️' mindset that's given to us will slowly kill us#the whole 'if you take my advice you'll be free from your illness 😇' saviour complex is honestly something that would have killed me#because it wasn't coming from a place of genuinely helpfulness or what would work for *me*...#...those pieces of advice came from the mindset of how to make everybody else comfortable...#...because it minimized the fact that i was (am) fucking insane and unwell and ill and debilitated...#...the advice came across as sinister because it wasn't about me despite addressing my insanity. it was ABOUT everybody else#and i just got done watching a heartbreaking video about somebody else's decline and i don't want them to suffer...#...but i also don't want to be the cause OF their suffering. my advice for them would be unhelpful i think...#...so i am still heartbroken and sad and maybe angry but that... isn't their fault. they are SUFFERING and VISIBLY so...#...i want their suffering to end in any way that will actually help *them* and not my ego y'know...
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#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
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gonna say something about arcane that might piss people off but i think it needs to be said:
the reason so many people ignore vi's issues and trauma is because the show itself does so
#arcane#vi#when we get to see jinx feel complex emotions the show lingers on that#and treats it with the seriousness it deserves#those moments are impactful because when it comes to these scenes theyre just about her#shes the focus#her thoughts and emotions are what matters#but when it comes to vi its the opposite#her issues are framed through how they affect others or the plot#we only get to see her react to them in quick scenes where she looks sad or angry#or through a music montage...#its just not treated with the same severity as jinxs issues#and thats 100% because the writers are biased#which i think is pretty common so i have nothing against them#but it sucks that theres such an amazing heartbreaking story they could tell with vi#but they dont because they dont wanna linger on her complex emotions and trauma#probably cause they dont want the spotlight on her or they dont care enough#cant focus on vi to much cause viewers are supposed to view jinx as this fucked up anti hero who suffered the most out of everybody#which just isnt true#but whatever#vi has so much wasted potential it just makes me sad
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can I have a hug?
from who?
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#scary marlowe#willy stampler#this is my first time trying anything like this lighting n perspective wise#and i think it turned out well!!! pretty happy with it#anyway willy manipulating scary makes me so angry and so sad#but god what an interesting dynamic yknow#the stampler family…#anyway the thing in red is the fish hook but I fucked up and made it too dark WHOOPS#my art#dndads fanart
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