#it makes me really really sad every time. i havent cried over it all month and i just started crying thinking about it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

confettiparasite · 5 months ago

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Um, could I request Ventus looking after a little Vanitas who doesn't really know much about what regression is and is trying his best to hide it (he's not doing good at hiding it, partially because Ven's making him feel safe so he's subconsciously letting his guard down)

Regressor: Vanitas

Caregiver: Ventus

TW: a lil bit of yelling and mentions of a depressive episode.

Vanitas had been feeling weird for a month now, more sensitive and shy than usual. He hated it, he was supposed to be strong and fearless, he hates everyone and everyone hates him. That's how it was and how it always will be, but, recently he has craved for hugs and affection.

The boy has never been hugged before but he sees Ventus giving his friends hugs all the time. He found himself even crying over it, he thought it was ridiculous but could never stop the tears.

He felt all alone and wanted his brother to comfort him so badly, but that would never happen.

Ventus took notice of his change in behavior and thought it was odd.

He talked to Roxas about it who brought up the idea that maybe he was an age regressor. Roxas was a regressor himself so he knew the signs, the tantrums, the crying and even the thumb sucking that Vanitas thinks Ventus didn’t notice.

Ventus knew this could mean Vanitas was coping with some sort of stress or trauma so he decided to try helping. He was a kindhearted boy after all.

Vanitas was crying all curled up on his bed, trying his best to be quiet while he clung to his pillow and sucked his thumb gently.

His crying was interrupted by a knock from the blonde.

He wiped his tears and opened the door annoyed until he saw who it was.

Ventus was holding a small box and smiled at Vanitas.

“Can I come in?”

Ventus made his way inside the messy room and sat on his bed.

“So, I've noticed you've been acting differently recently, and it's gotten worse; you've even been skipping dinner” he frowned.

“Just not hungry” he sat in front of Ventus.

“You also seem sad, have you been crying Vani?”

Vanitas's eyes widened at the nickname and he felt himself become smaller.

“I…” he couldn't get out any words, all he wanted was to cry and hug Ventus.

“Hey, it's okay, I actually brought you something” Ventus handed him the small box.

He stared at it, dazed, and opened it.

Confusion, fear, and anger filled him as he threw the box against the ground.

“Are you making fun of me?!”

“N-no! I just thought you were regressing so I bought you a pacifier”

“I'm not a baby, I don't even know what that is!”

“It's a coping mechanism, havent u felt weird lately? Younger?”

Vanitas stared at the pacifier, safely in its box.

He was scared.

He kinda wanted to use it.

Vanitas grabbed the box and stared at Ventus.

“Why do you even care”

“You are my brother, sorta, so I care about you Vani.”

“But-”

“Shh, don't worry about the past, just, try using it?”

Vanitas stared at the box in his hands.

“Will you leave me alone if I do?.”

He nods.

Vanitas sighs and opens the pacifier and puts it in his mouth.

It felt soothing, he closed his eyes and felt himself tear up over how calm he felt.

All the bad thoughts in his head were gone, all he could think of was the paci and Ventus.

He opened his teary eyes feeling fully regressed now.

“How does it feel?”

Vanitas made grabby hands, too regressed to feel embarrassed.

“You want a hug?”

Vanitas nodded.

Ventus smiled and brought the other boy into a warm hug.

The dark haired boy cried into his arms. Ventus noticed how lonely Vanitas must have felt dealing with this all by himself.

“I'm here lil buddy, you're not alone anymore okay?”

Vanitas nodded into the hug.

Ventus let go and pet the boy's head.

“Wanna grab some lunch? I can make some mac and cheese, I know it’s your favorite!” he giggled.

Vanitas blushed, was it really that obvious? Yes, yes it was, he wiggled from joy every time he ate it.

Ventus ruffled his hair once more and led him to the kitchen with a smile.

"Venti?”

“Oh? Yes buddy?”

“Can I helps?”

“You're too small kiddo, why don't you set the table?”

Vanitas has never felt so small, in a good way. It felt like he was getting back the childhood he never had.

“All done!”

Vanitas hadn't eaten well in a while so he was excited for a full meal.

He instantly dug in and Ventus saw as the regressed boy wiggled his lil feet in excitement.

“You are being so messy buddy” Ventus giggled and grabbed the spoon, helping his brother eat.

Vanitas was surprised at how good Venti Wenti was at taking care of him. He smiled and giggled “U make good brother!”

“Aww, you too, you lil troublemaker” the blonde giggled.

Laughter filled the room as Ventus chased Vanitas around his room.

“You need to brush your teeth lil dude!”

“Never!” He giggled.

“Come on, if you wash ur teeth we can cuddle to sleep”

“Weally?”

“Yes Vani” he smiled.

“Okays!”

Ventus cleaned Vanitas's room while the boy brushed his teeth. He was saddened by the piles of trash and clothes on the floor, Vanitas was probably going through a depression episode.

“Back!” Vanitas giggled until he noticed Ventus's sad expression. “Whas wrong?”

“Don't worry, I'm okay! How about you grab some pillows and blankets from my room?”

Ventus and Vanitas smiled at the sight of their blanket fort. It was filled with some of Ventus's plushies, pillows and blankets. The blonde went inside and motioned for the other to join him.

Vanitas entered and looked around, feeling cozy and warm.

“What are these?” Vanitas pointed at the plushies, “Pillow creatures?”

“They are stuffed animals! You can take one!”

Vanitas smiled, regressing once more as he reached out for a bat plushie.

“This one”

Ventus giggled “Ofcourse, all yours.”

The dark haired boy hugged his brother once more and nuzzled his head on his chest.

“Ur so cuddly huh?” Ventus smiled sadly, wondering if this was his first time being so comfortable.

“Thanks, for ewething” Vanitas cried happily.

“Aww bud, It's okay, from now on I'll take care of you got it?”

He nods, hugging him tighter.

Ventus and Vanitas cuddled for the rest of the night watching cartoons. Ventus promised that he would take care of him and he meant it, he was gonna help the boy feel happier.

Vanitas finally felt cared for and loved.

-----------

I tried writing this like 10 times 😭

It's not the best but I will definitely write about them again, or make a part 2 since it was quite short :3

Thanks for requesting! ♡

#age regression #age regressor #agere #agere blog #agere community #sfw agere #kingdom hearts agere #agere story

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olberic · 1 year ago

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ranking anime i’ve watched in 2023:

as expected, here’s this year’s top 10 for how much i personally enjoyed the anime i’ve watched this year. ive watched more than this, but god i watched so many bad ones…. even number 10 sucks but everything else was worse. sad!

as always thank u gifmakers for ur service 🫡 the world would be nothing without u all

10. the legendary hero is dead! (2023)

youtube

dont watch this show. it sucks and its bad. hey. come here. hold my hand. now lets just watch and enjoy the OP ok? don't worry about the rest.

9. my daughter left the nest and returned as an s-rank adventurer (2023)

i have to admit this show charmed me. its not the best thing ive ever seen but its nice. comfy. yknow? i haven't finished it but it's enjoyable. can't rank it higher until i finish it

8. sabikui bisco (2022)

if it werent for the positively nonsensical jump in the middle of the show and the way theres just like. a lot of gaps? it’d rank higher. it’s a very cool premise for a show and i like the bisco/milo dynamic, and [SISTER] is fun as hell. it didnt wow me though overall, and while i enjoyed it i was hoping for more.

7. trigun stampede (2023)

im sorry trigun stans i simply didnt love it. i see the appeal i really do but it just didnt hook me. i really liked the animation and the storyline. im intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with those plants and yall have said theres a tallgirl in the next season? so i’ll keep watching. i just didnt love it

6. that time i got reincarnated as a slime (2019-2021)

in contrast to #7, i can see why this show is weak HOWEVER i just enjoyed it. i like it. huge fan of how much gender the protag has. i love how they get new powers. i enjoy that it can be interpreted as an extremely bisexual show. it was well paced and the slime diaries OVA was a great addition. a lot of the characters really stuck with me too and its like. idk. one of my favourite isekais i guess

5. buddy daddies (2023)

this should rank higher. its so fun. its SO fun. its silly and it doesnt take itself seriously. i laughed in every episode. the dynamic between the guys is great. the dynamics between them and the kid is great. just a really solid show if you can stand the queerbaiting. i dont even care

4. bocchi the rock! (2022)

the bocchi side of tumblr is right this show rules. i like how real bocchi’s social anxiety feels (literally how it felt when i had it). the characters are entertaining, the show’s well done, they even have solid music (which band-based shows dont always do right!). its really funny and its really earnest and its a joy to watch

3. demon slayer: swordsmith village arc (2023)

i included the entertainment district arc in last year’s list so this arc makes the cut. im always late getting around to watch the new stuff and i dont want to read the manga but god DAMN does this show hit different. incredible fight scenes. i loved everything they did for the hashira backstories. i love whatever the fuck is up with genya. it even gave me some akaza to sustain me for the next year or whatever. ik this show gets overhyped but its normal hyped. to me.

2. frieren: beyond journey's end (2023)

oughhh frieren… ive only known this show for a few months but it means to much to me… i dont even wanna talk about it because its so good i just wanna watch it again. go watch frieren if you havent already its anime of the decade. to me

1. gundam: the witch from mercury (2022-2023)

ive never seen a gundam before but i will be watched them after this! what can be said about it that hasnt already been said on this site. the romance storyline is impeccable, the fights are awesome, the moral questions it posed were excellently covered. by the end of the first episode i was speechless. by the end of the last episode i'd cried like 4 times over the course of the show. this thing made me cry to happy birthday. what the fuck

#t #i dont main tag these on principle but i do want to find these later so im using my tag system. sorry main tag browsers #tensura #buddy daddies #bocchi #kny #frieren #gundam

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bonemass07 · 1 year ago

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a vent i guess. tw

lately things have gotten rough again. I've been manic for the past several few months, somewhere between 10 and 7. Ive experienced manic and depressive episodes for a long time but I've never had a manic episode last this long. In January i lost a brother of mine to suicide and took that as a lesson because i had been so suicidal in the weeks leading up to him committing. I started heavily believing in mind over matter, gaslighting myself into being happy; and don't get me wrong, it worked for a while. But i can feel myself deteriorating. like every breath makes me sink and every exhale rips out my lungs. I isolate myself into my bed unless i am at my brothers house. i cant feel anything except this sadness. i used to love so deeply and now i can barely even catch feelings, unless i shouldn't like that person by any means, cause in that case ill create scenarios in my head all day and end up catching hard feelings. There's something wrong with me and i don't know what it is. I just don't want to feel this anymore. I logicized suicide back into my life and have been abusing any substance i can get my hands on. Im starting to want to die again. Ive been going to my brothers house a lot so that i dont have to be so lost in my head every night. Last night i had to come back home and when i put my shoes on i couold feel the wave coming. i stepped outside and felt heavy. i got in my car and turned on some music and took a deep exhale. I made it 10 minutes down the road before i started crying. I havent genuinely cried in so long it feel gut wrenching. i didnt even really get to cry that night because i had to stop myself so i could keep driving. I just want the pain to stop.

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journalofabrokenheartedvirgin · 2 years ago

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Page 94

When did the breakup happen?

A little over a week ago - a week and two days. They broke up with me last Saturday and its now Monday

2. How long was the relationship?

We were officially together for a month but we had been seeing each other for two months. We became official exactly one month after we met

3. Were you blindsided or expecting?

A little of both honestly. I felt like everything was going great and although we both knew it was going to come to an end eventually, I thought we were on the same wavelength about our relationship. They started acting weird about a week and a half before the breakup, but I tried to ignore it, but by the time they told me they needed a break from weeknight stays, I knew that was the beginning of the end. I felt so much anxiety, dread, and sadness that week, just knowing in my gut that it was done. It was basically solidified by the time they hadn’t texted me in almost two days. And then the dreaded, “lets get coffee” text came in. Yup, that was it. I say I was both because it just seemed like we were okay, and then suddenly it was not and I didnt know why at first

4. Who ended it?

Steven ended the relationship. They said that they needed to focus on their last few months here and doesn’t have the space for something so serious or that will get them attached. I told them I had already gotten there, that I was attached already and was going to miss the,. They just said id be okay. They did make sure tell me it wasn’t anything with me, but with them. That anyone would be lucky to be with me since “all ive been is wonderful”

I keep having day dreams of them texting me, asking to see me, wanting to see me, wanting to hang out with me. I wish everyday that I will see their name pop up on my phone and everyday it gets worse and worse that they dont. Lila says that the hope of that will dissipate in time, but as of right now, I just feel more and more sad as they days go on. I want to reach out but im not going to. They were the ones who needed space and I am not going to be the annoying ass ex who texts them first. When they want to speak to me, they will reach out. And honestly, as hard as it is to think about it, that may be never. They said we could check in on each other every so often, but how truthful were they about that? They may have just been saying that and in actuality, they are never going to. I want them to so badly. I miss them so fucking much. Its so weird because im not crying as much as I thought I would, especially considering how much I cried about Liam and Ryan, but its not like im any less sad about Steven breaking up with me, I actually think im more sad about them then I was about Ryan, but im just not crying. It feels weird, I want to cry, but its not happening. Instead, I just feel the sadness on its own, its just a pit in my stomach. I want them back so badly. I think about them every single day, not one day has gone by since the breakup that I dont think about them at least once. I do hope they think about me every so often, even if its just been a single thought in the entire time since they broke it off. I wish I had asked them how they were feeling about it all, if they were sad or if they just wanted it to be over. Lila said that they definitely think about me, they havent just forgotten the last two months, and that they cared about me, but its just hard to really believe that when I dont even know how sad they felt about everything. I did make sure to ask them that they actually did like me, since I never got that closure with Liam, and they said they did, so that makes me feel a little bit better, but not by much since I dont know the extent to how they felt or how much they liked me. I just know I liked them more, which really hurts, but I was expecting nothing less, which I couldn’t considering it was going to be short term from the beginning. I just wish they would reach out so I dont have to continuously think about them not reaching out. I want them to be sad and miss me, even if that sounds bad. I dont want to be the only one negatively affected by this break up. I hope they feel even a little sad about not being with me anymore.

#love #heartbreak #breakup #brokenhearted #relationship #journal

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wkemeup · 4 years ago

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for drabble night- which i am so excited for, by the way!! you're a marvelous writer and one of my top favorite bucky writers- my personal favorite trope is oblivious idiots to lovers (like the love is requited but they're just idiots)

dialogue prompt: “I’m too good for revenge.” “Well I’m not. Give me the gun.” - from anon pairing: bucky x reader word count: 1.4k warnings (provided by @jessalyn-jpeg): idiots to lovers, mutual pining, shouted love confessions, (and warnings from me ->) past torture, descriptions of blood, canon level violence, sorry I made this so dark??? a/n: guess who already broke the 1k rule!!! but hey I loved this one and Im a little sad it's a drabble and not a monster fic. it may not be idiots per say, but definitely two people who love each other who havent admitted it yet and are scared of what it means

A man withered on the ground at your feet, scrambling along the prodding edges of crumbled concrete. Crawling as blood streaked in his wake. This man – this monster – you'd been chasing for weeks was reduced to a helpless, crying mess as you towered over him. His hands shook as they shielded his face, tears streaking over his cheeks. This time, you held the power. You held the leverage. He wasn’t so scary without the table of surgical tools at his disposal – your blood stained upon his hands and a maniacal grin upon his lips.

You didn’t know his name. He was only ever ‘the Doctor’ when you spoke of him in your head. You’d only uttered the phrase once since the team rescued you from his basement two months ago and even then, it had tasted of venom. He haunted you in your sleep, followed you in the shadows of every room, drew screams as he pleased even when he could no longer touch you. Safety was not a luxury you could afford – not after what he’d done to you.

Bucky was your only reprieve. A broken man who had found the pieces of himself again – who had offered pieces of himself to you to soothe the mess you’d become with gauze and tape. It was his arms you woke in when your throat was burning raw, his voice lulling you back to sleep, his hands that had taught you peace again.

Bucky saved what his man destroyed.

“P-please,” the Doctor begged, his trembling hands reaching out for the toe of your boot – like a peasant before a king. You flinched before he could touch you. His back pressed against the wall. There was nowhere else for him to go. You flexed the gun at the end of your grip.

“You ruined me,” you spat, barely able to taste the words as they left your tongue. They did not sound like your own. “You expect me to grant you mercy?”

It only made the man sob harder. He was struggling to breathe – hyperventilating between sobs as his hands curled tight against his chest. Pathetic. Weak. Certainly not the type of man who could orchestrate the kidnapping of an avenger without help. He was sick and twisted and evil down to his bones, but he was not the mastermind behind your abduction. He was the executioner.

“D-don’t kill me,” he whimpered, bowing his forehead to the ground. “Y-you’re an Avenger. You wouldn’t.”

You had every intent to put a bullet through this man’s chest the moment you laid eyes on him again. You’d expected to be afraid, to see the surgical mask over his mouth and the cold, dead look in his eyes. You’d expected him to lunge at you with the scalpel and add to the array of scars he’d drawn upon your body. You’d expected violence from the psychopath you knew him to be.

Instead – you found this trembling, frail man who could not manage the courage to meet your eye. It was only when you were chained and drugged that he felt powerful enough to torture an Avenger. You were disappointed.

“You’re not worth my soul.” Tears welled into your eyes as you stared down the monster who had taken residency within your nightmares. “I’m too good for revenge.”

“Well, I’m not,” Bucky’s voice growled from the edge of the room. He stalked across the floor of the basement, his boots stepping over the stain of dried blood you’d left behind months earlier. His expression was cold, unemotive. The plates of his left arm whirled as he clenched his fist. “Give me the gun.”

Bucky’s hand slid over yours, the gun falling slack in your hand. You parted your lips to tell him that justice was due, that there was still more at play than just the sick mind of the man crumbled at your feet. But the safety was already unlatched and Bucky unloaded the weapon into the Doctor. Blood trailed through the cracks in the floor until they touched your boots. The echo burned into your eardrums.

You gaped, stumbling a few steps back before Bucky could slide the gun back into the holster on your hip. He raised an eyebrow, concerned, but you couldn’t find any air inside your chest. Your gaze flickered back to the Doctor as his body slumped down the wall, sinking into the pool of his own blood. It would stain into the rock amongst your own.

Your stunned stare returned to Bucky as he gently reached a hand towards you. You slapped it away. “Why-- What did you—Why would you do that?”

Bucky stilled, his eyes narrowing. He retracted his hand, genuine confusion upon his features. “Are you serious?”

“We could have brought him in, Bucky!” You threw your arms in the air, pacing over the red stain at the center of the room. “We could have interrogated him! You saw him – he clearly isn’t working alone!”

“We don’t need him, Y/n, we can—”

“He’s a pawn! He deserves a hell of a lot worse than death but we needed him, Bucky!”

“No,” Bucky snapped. His face was growing red, his jaw clenching so tightly the muscle flexed beneath his stubble. “No — that monster should have been shot on sight! I don’t give a shit what he could have been useful for! He got what he deserved!”

“Dammit, Bucky! We’re right back where we started.” You pressed your hands to your eyes. Tears wiped at the edges of your palms – angry, frustrated tears. Helpless tears. A lump burned so terribly in your throat, you thought it might choke you.

“We’re not,” Bucky eased, trying to calm you though his own breathing was labored. “We killed the bastard who took you, Y/n. He’s dead now. He can’t hurt you again. It's a hell of a lot more than we had yesterday.”

“Not when the guy who’s making the calls is still out there!” you cried, shoving away his efforts to reach you, though he kept trying. “We were so close, Bucky! He would have talked!”

“You don’t know that! He could have been manipulating you!"

“He would have rolled over in a second!” you roared, fire and fury and agony coursing through your veins. “And you just—you threw that all away for—what? For revenge?!”

“For you!”

The moment the words left Bucky’s lips he held his breath. His boots carried him several steps back, putting space between you as if it might draw the words back from the air before they could touch you. The anger drained from your body, washing away in a matter of seconds. Bucky exhaled a tensed breath.

“I did it... for you,” Bucky repeated slowly, his voice dangerously quiet. “I couldn’t stand the idea of that monster living another second after what he did to you.”

You swallowed, though your throat was aired dry.

“I can hear you cry at night,” he confessed and your heart clenched. Slowly, Bucky lifted his gaze to you, blue eyes startling through the wash of tears. “I know what he did to you, Y/n. You don’t have to tell me, because I know. I know what it’s like to be stripped of your power, to be helpless. I know what that does to a person. You... You never should have had to know what that feels like, too. It would have lingered over your head, Y/n -- to have that monster in the compound with us. It would have driven you mad. So I did what I had to do. I won’t apologize for that.”

You stared at Bucky, lips parted. “Fury will be pissed.”

You didn’t know why you said that. Perhaps because you were too afraid of what Bucky was really saying – the meaning behind his actions. Why it tortured him to allow this man to live after what he did to you.

Bucky chuckled dryly. “Yeah, I suppose he will.”

Quietly, you inched closer to him, stepping over the wet bloods of crimson as it slithered along the floor. Your arms wrapped around his waist, your head pressing to his chest. Bucky stilled for a moment, surprised, before his arms folded around you. It was warm in his embrace, safe. You listened to the gentle thumping of his heart as a hand circled sweetly over your spine.

And then, so quietly you knew only his advanced hearing could pick up, you muttered, “thank you,” against his chest.

this is your reminder that on drabble night I'm barely reading this over after I write it instead of taking weeks to edit and draft and redraft lol so if there's mistakes or the quality is not on par, that is why

#drabble night #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes drabble

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imagines-mha · 4 years ago

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◇ haikyuu and their music tastes◇

daichi: he has the most generic music taste 💀 💀 mr brightside was his most played song of 2020

suga: i just know he loves boybands. one direction, the vamps, semi-ironically big time rush i just KNOW but also,,,, twice stan

asahi: hozier 1000% i will die on this hill that he stans hozier. also ricky montgommery vibes

noya: 100 gecs satisfies the itch in his brain like nothing ever has.

ennoshita: he thinks he’s the king of indie-rock because he listens to wallows and declan mckenna but his taste is so good you cant even argue w him

tsukki: he is the epitome of every single genre mixed into one massive chaotic playlist. we got alec benjamin, we got fall out boy, we got 90s top hits. anything u want boo hes got it except for ed sheeran

yamaguchi: he listens to so much soft boy music it’s uncanny. im talking mxmtoon, jack stauber, beach bunny he has the aesthetic COINED

yachi: look at me and tell me she isnt an emotonally unstable swiftie who literally loses her shit when the opening of blank space plays. dorothea’s her favourite song bc shes gay.

kuroo: everyone is jealous of his music taste. literally everyone. you know all those songs that make your entire body switch astral plane? like midnight city by M83? they’re HIS type of songs

kenma: cavetown, lil peep, joji. anything that just screams i want to fucking vibe no more no less

aone: bom bom by sam and the womp was his most listened to song of 2020 and futakuchi didnt sleep soundly for a week after finding this out

futakuchi: he lies about his music taste bc he wants to be edgy. listens to BTS and 1975 religiously. stans melanie martinez and he wishes colours by halsey was written about him

kogane: he unironically listens to nyan cat i promise

oikawa: still not over his electra heart faze rip. when hes sad he cries to lana del rey, when hes happy he raps nicki <3 its equality

iwa: literally no taste. he listens to whats on the charts. sometimes bazzi and chase atlantic but thats it

yahaba: u know those instrumental playlists on youtube like “you run away with your lover in the middle of the night” by olivialee. yeh <3

makki: his spotify playlists all scream mental breakdown. Mitski, Lana del rey, and pheobe bridgers are his golden trio, but the SECOND Katy Perry comes on he is UNHINGED

ushijima: he doesnt listen to any music. semi tried introducing him to hozier once, and he latched onto take me to church like it was holy bread for 14 months straight

tendou: mother mother’s music was crafted simply for tendo. and when he’s listening his body ASCENDS

semi: thinks he’s the ultimate edgy boy smh but he has such a basc indie music taste IT HURTS. “Hey i like this band but theyre super underground you probably havent heard of them haha... theyre called arctic monkeys”

atsumu: hes so chaotic and for what. yes he knows every single word to WAP, yes he knows the say so dance, yes he cries to katy perry and ariana grande. you cant pin him down smh

osamu: listens to the soundtrack of a teen indie movie. wallows? tongue tied? electric love? theyre all in there. dua lipas holds a special place in his heart.

kita: listens to a lot of chill k-pop songs and soft classical music whenever he’s studying but he doesnt really have a favourite song or anything like tht

suna: AM by arctic monkeys changed his entire view on music, but he doesn’t wanna sound like a mainstream tumblr girl so he just tells everyone he listens to lil peep

bokuto: good morning harry styles biggest fan. his favourite songs on fne line are TPWK, canyon moon and golden

akaashi: he has the most ethereal music taste omfg <3. he worships lorde, florence welch and hozier. folklore by taylor swift changed his life.

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nahoyaglock · 4 years ago

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WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

#writings 📃#ushijima.💭#ushijima x reader #ushijima x y/n #ushijima angst #ushijima imagine #ushijima fanfic #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi fanfic #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu imagine #hq x reader #hq x you #hq angst #hq fanfic #hq imagines

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nyan-koii · 3 years ago

Text

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer hashira #kny hashira #tokitō muichirō #shinazugawa sanemi #shinobu kochou #uzui tengen #rengoku kyojuro #kamado tanjiro #kochou kanae #iguro obanai #demon slayer headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #hashira headcanons

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deeeelightfuldee · 4 years ago

Text

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up.

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not.

How many bedrooms are in your house? four.

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby.

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric.

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy.

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment.

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times.

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more.

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

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sup-hoes-its-me · 5 years ago

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Mission (Bokuto x reader)

A/N: soooo ive been a depressed bitch and havent updated in months, sorry about that... I didnt even edit this, so beware typos ahead. Disabled reader x bokuto.

side note-if you guys think this is shit, just message me so i can delete it ✌✌

word count: 4435

Y/N sat in the gym on the sidelines, watching the team practice. Personally, she would never play. She was in a wheelchair, most likely for life. She hated it. She couldn’t play the game anymore.

Bokuto tried getting her to help him toss the ball, but she was too embarrassed to roll over and attempt setting. Whenever Bokuto asked her to play, Akaashi would whack him on the back of the head and tell her she could just watch if she wanted.

Akaashi understood her. He watched out for her, and she really appreciated that. But Bokuto was just too much fun.

Those two, Bokuto and Y/N, have been friends for a long time. She met him when she was five, having moved into the city, directly in the house beside his. Their parents set up dozens and dozens of playdates until they eventually began walking to school and eating lunch together and talking all the time.

Then, there was an accident and suddenly, she couldn't play anymore. Bokuto was sad she couldn't play with them. He asked her many times. But, she always said no, and she wanted to cry each time.

At the same time, Bokuto always defended her, keeping other people, ones that could be rude to her for her disability, off her back. He also spent a lot of time making her laugh like crazy on the sidelines. He would send her funny looks and stick out his tongue whenever any teammate spiked past him.

To this day, he made her so happy.

“Y/N! Y/N! Did you see that?!” he asked her excitedly, running over to her with the biggest smile on his face.

With a nod, a silly grin grew on her face. “Yeah. You did awesome as always, Bokuto-kun,” she praised him, which sent him into a sort of euphoric stage. He got so hyper. No one ever praised him, especially not Akaashi. Yet, she always did.

“I’m gonna go play again. I'll do even better this time, for you!” he exclaimed before turning on his heel and rushing back onto the court. He was the captain, so he could run on and off the court as he pleased. At first, his team got annoyed with him for it, for running to that girl all the time. After a while, they accepted it, believing that there was nothing that could stop him.

That was one more thing they admired about their ace and captain. He was incredibly loyal to his best friend, Y/N. In a decade of knowing each other, the number of fights they had could be counted on one hand. He walked her home, ate lunch with her everyday, sat beside her in nearly every class, and took her to every practice and game they had.

He didn't care that she was in a wheelchair. He never even thought about it. While other people brought it up, he smiled proudly at his strong, brave best friend. He’d seriously kick some ass if anyone harassed her, too.

And she watched all the games and practices too. She always cheered him on and praised him whenever he did well. If she did that, he worked even harder and got better. She loved going home with him, listening to him talk and laugh and tell the stupidest jokes you’ve ever heard.

She was so shy, but he brought out the best in her. He really, really did.

Practice came to a close after another hour. She made sure her bag was hung on one of the handles and her keys were in her pocket. Bokuto took a shower and got all his things together before he approached her, bouncing on his feet happily.

“Y/N, do you wanna get ice cream with Kuroo tonight?”

She grinned, nodding excitedly. She loved Kuroo too. He was funny and snarky, but equally as foolish as Bokuto whenever they got together. “Yeah! Just let me text my mom, okay?”

Quickly, she texted her mom to tell her she was going out for a little while with Bokuto. A minute later, her phone chimed. Her mother sent her a smiley face and a message saying, ‘be back by ten.’

Her mom was always nervous about her going out by herself, which was understandable. She trusted Bokuto though, and occasionally, she even let Kuroo take Y/N out to games. She’d known them for so long, it made her comfortable knowing her daughter was in good hands.

She pocketed her phone again. “She said it was okay. Let's go,” she cheered. He hung his book bag on the handle of her wheelchair before turning her around and pushing her toward the door.

“Bye, L/N-senpai!” Onaga called to her. She eagerly waved to him. A chorus of goodbyes rang out to her as she left. Everyone on the team liked her, genuinely. If they didn't, Bokuto would be furious. Fortunately, that never happened.

“Y/N, have you seen any good movies lately?”

“Not really.”

He nodded, a little hum in the back of his throat in agreement. “Yeah, there really isn't anything out right now, is there?” He always asked her about movies because she watched them all the time, mostly in class while she was on her phone...she wasn't exactly the best student.

She added, “But, I saw a movie, and the main character reminded me of you.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. He was super funny and really loud, and his hair stuck up just like yours.”

“Was he handsome?”

“Yep.”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! That's even better, Y/N!”

She looked down at her hands in her lap, thinking of what to say next. She felt so awkward calling him handsome, just wanting to change the topic before he could say anything else.

“Training camp is coming up, right? At Nekoma?”

“Yep, yep. Next week.” He pushed her up on the sidewalk of the street, only about seven blocks away from the ice cream place they always went to. “Do you want to come and watch me practice?”

“Of course I do!”

“Awesome!”

She clasped her hands together and smiled shyly, her eyes trailing to her lap. “And I’ll get to meet everyone.”

He pouted, feverishly shaking his head. “No! All those guys will like you too much! They’ll take you away from me! Gah!” he cried, his mood dropping pathetically in a moment.

Comfortingly, she placed a soft hand on his and shook her head subtly. “Are you kidding? You’re the bestest friend in the entire world. None of those guys could ever replace you,” she told him, giving his hand a gentle pat.

“Yeah, but you always get so excited when we hang out with Kuroo…” he continued to mope despite her assurance.

She only rolled her eyes. “That's because Kuroo is a good friend. I don't have that many friends, you know?”

“Why do you need a lot of friends when you have me?”

“You are definitely a handful. Enough for me,” she mumbled, turning back around in her seat. She could see the familiar sign of the cute little ice cream parlor. It wasn't anything like some ice cream bars from the convenience store, it was thick creamy goodness covered in whatever toppings she wanted. Sometimes, she worried about getting chubby when she went there too often.

Still, no matter what she said, Bokuto was irked. Truthfully, he worried that Kuroo would steal Y/N away from him. He was taller and handsome and funny and really cool sometimes. Cooler than him…

“You okay, Bokuto-kun?”

He jumped out his thoughts at the sound of her sweet voice. “Yeah. Yep, I'm totally good.” That sounded fake as hell, but okay.

She pushed open the door to the store with her arm and they entered. It was cold in there, but really pleasant. It smelled like a wonderland of sweets, her favorite guilty pleasure. The cashier, a sweet young man, called to her and Bokuto over the counter.

“Hey, L/N-san, Bokuto-san!” He waved to them both.

“Hi, Kiku! We're just waiting for Kuroo.”

“Okay then. Just tell me when you're ready!”

Just then, the door flew open and the captain entered, his hair even messier from the wind outside. Y/N giggled, waving at him shyly. “You look so weird, Kuroo!” she confessed when he approached.

His brows furrowed, and he sent her a judging look. Nevertheless, he still leaned down for his hug. He always hugged her, claiming he found her positively adorable. “L/N, its been a while.”

“Kuroo, we just saw you last Wednesday,” she whined. He stepped back, and grinned down at her.

“Sup, Brokuto,” he nodded to his friend who waved back, muttering out a greeting. He didn't know why but, he was burning with jealousy. Why did Kuroo have to hug her all the time? And why was she always giggling around him? It frustrated him to no end.

She was only supposed to hug him and smile when he told jokes, and giggle like some stupid schoolgirl when he did something cute. He kept hanging out with Kuroo, but it still irritated him anyway.

“Bokuto, are you sure you're okay?” she asked him, concern lacing her words. Her soft fingers once again rested upon his own, and it knocked him from his jealous thoughts.

He nodded, pushing her over to the counter where Kuroo was already getting his chocolate ice cream, like he got every time. He paid for the cup, knowing the exact change by now. Kiku then looked down at Y/N.

Same thing as always. “Vanilla with cherries, please.”

“And you, Bokuto?”

He thought for a second, not that it really mattered. “Uh, I'll just have the same thing,” he replied simply. There was a small hum of affirmation as the boy scooped up two cups of ice cream and spooned on the candy cherries.

Bokuto pulled out six hundred yen, handing it to Kiku behind the counter. Meanwhile, Y/N grabbed the ice cream from the counter, one cup in her right hand and the other in her left.

They always sat at the small table by the window, two seats across from each other and a big space in the middle for Y/N to sit at. Kuroo was already there, munching on his ice cream.

“Kuroo, you should have seen Bokuto-kun today! He was so amazing. He didn't mess up once, and he did this amazing quick set with Akaashi!” she explained, proceeding to spoon ice cream into her mouth. She sent a happy smile to Bokuto, causing him to grin proudly. He was pretty awesome if his little Y/N thought so.

“As good as me though?” Kuroo joked.

“Aw, Kuroo, you know I can't answer that. You both are so good!”

Why couldn't she answer that? Bokuto was her best friend in the entire world. She always told him he was the best ace in the whole prefecture. Kuroo wasn't even an ace. So why couldn't she just say he was better?

Then again, she always did like Kuroo more than him. She thought he was so cool…

Kuroo piped up, just as Bokuto was about to try and tell a joke. His smile was quick to dissolve though.“Hey, Y/N, can I have a cherry?” he asked, eyeing her cup.

She shrugged and lifted out one of the vibrantly red cherries by the stem. She held it out for him to take, only he just leaned forward and bit off the cherry right off the stem between her finger tips. A smirk grew on his lips as he watched her cheeks turn a bright red, and her to quickly look down at her ice cream.

That was so weird.

It made Bokuto furious.

He stood up abruptly, and all eyes rose to his figure. He tried playing it off though. “I almost forgot. Kuroo, I have to talk to you about...volleyball stuff. Let's go outside.”

“But-”

“Sorry, Y/N-chan. This is some serious business. We’ll be back in a minute, I promise,” he told her, a single hand tapping her on the head. She rolled her eyes and nodded at his gesture.

Bokuto then forcibly yanked Kuroo outside with him, making sure the door was shut before totally losing his cool. “Dude, what the hell? Stop flirting with her.”

Kuroo sighed, shaking his head. “Come on, Bro. You know I'm only joking around.” His words meant absolutely nothing to Bokuto, who was angry, but mainly just dejected and sad.

He didn't understand why this was all happening. Why his friend was flirting with his crush. Why his childhood friend, best friend, and future girlfriend, was blushing and giggling around his other friend. He didn't like any of it, and his heart hurt.

“No! I really, really like her! She's my soulmate! If you keep doing that kinda stuff, she's gonna like you instead!” he exclaimed, his fists releasing at his sides. He felt terrible, like his life was being stolen from him, life being Y/N. He might even cry.

Kuroo sighed, shaking his head once again. He was being jealous for no reason at all. If only he would listen and quit being so ignorant. “She'd be nuts if she liked me when she already has you.”

“Huh?”

“You're the only guy ever who has loved her through everything. You take care of her. You push her around all day, and bring her to all your games, and you buy her ice cream all the damn time. You walk her home, you make her laugh, and you kick ass whenever someone makes fun of her,” Kuroo explained. “She’s crazy if she doesn't love you.”

He shuffled, feeling let down still. “She only sees me as her best friend.”

Kuroo placed his hands on the guys shoulder firmly. He looked at him completely seriously and practically commanded, “Well, you have to change that! Make her fall in love with you!”

“I can do that?!”

“Hell yeah, bro!” he cheered. “Mission: Make L/N Y/N fall in love with you.” That's what they called it. They decided that the plan would commence on Monday. By now, Bokuto was desperate; he needed Y/N to love him back because he can't imagine a day in his life without seeing her.

But he failed to realize one thing. Their plan was completely pointless.

________________________

Monday. The day he would make Y/N fall in love with him. He woke up that morning and brushed his hair, making sure it looked really good, slick and charming. He chewed a ton of gum, just to make sure his breath stayed minty even after brushing his teeth. He even went so far as wearing the uniform correctly with the tie and all. Normally, he only wore the shirt and blazer.

He left the house with a smile on his face and walked up the sidewalk to her door. He knocked a couple times until her mother opened the door. “Koutarou-kun, you're early today,” she hummed. “You look quite handsome today, too. Did you do something with your hair?”

“Yep! Thank you, L/N-san,” he said with a nod of his head. He was relieved to hear her say he looked good. He needed to look his best for Y/N.

Behind her mother, the girl wheeled over with her bag in her lap. She looked adorable, as always. Her hair was perfect, and her face was bashful with those red cheeks and cute smile. She was an angel, and he knew that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be as attractive as her.

“Bye, you two. Have a good day at school.” her mother said, moving out of the way so Y/N could roll outside. Bokuto waved to the woman as she shut the door. From there, he took the handles of her chair and started down the ramp.

When they were on the sidewalk, her voice made him pause. “Bokuto, come here,” she told him, waving for him to stand in front of her. She scanned his figure with scrutiny, noticing every little detail that was off about him that morning.

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “What-”

“You look so weird today. Why’d you do that to your hair?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, puzzled. It didn't look good in her eyes, only strange and uncomfortable.

He flushed, not expecting those words from her. He thought she would be impressed. “Get down here.” He leaned down and immediately felt her hands running through his hair. She hummed as she did so, making sure that all the spikes were back in order. Then, when she was done with that, her hands went to his tie. She slipped it from his neck. “Now you look like the Bokuto I love,” she laughed with a smile on her perfect lips.

His cheeks flared, and he hurried back behind her, pushing her along. He tried his best to hide his fluster, but she was too much for him to handle. She said she loved him, sure, it wasn't anything romantic, only friendly, but she still said it. His heart soared in his chest, and he felt like he could fly.

Wait...he was supposed to be making her feel that way. His plan was already failing. He would have to step up his game.

Swiftly, despite his nerves, he swooped down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. It lingered for only half a second before he pulled away. His cheeks were even brighter now, whereas hers failed to change color at all. Was she not embarrassed at all? He just kissed her and she didn't care.

Why?!

“Gosh, that's new,” she giggled, pressing her fingertips to her cheek. “What was that for?”

“Because you're so cute.” Beautiful. Funny. Adorable. Sweet. Kind. Brave. Perfect. He would list all those things and even more, if only he wasn’t such a coward.

He, at least, expected a reaction to that but she only smiled and shook her head. “You’re too much, Bokuto.” Not a blush, not a shake in her voice, nothing.

He was failing, dammit.

The walk to school was short, mostly because he was thinking of ways to woe Y/N. There were so many thoughts in his head that he thought could work, but this girl was unfazed and he didn't know if he even had a chance of getting a reaction, much less evoking love.

Classes went by quickly as well, mostly because he couldn't focus at all. Multiple times, he was scolded by his teachers for not doing his work. And when he took her to practice, he couldn't even say anything. He just pouted and dragged his feet.

She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she knew he wouldn't tell her the truth. Something about him was just so off today.

And then she sat on the sidelines, watching everyone play. She said nothing, she couldn't. Bokuto kept messing up. He hit the ball into the net four times, and he kept spiking the ball out of the box. He wasn't his normal self, and it was hurting the team today.

Eventually, he shouted, voice pained and anguished, “Don't pass to me anymore! I’m a terrible ace!” His head dropped and he walked off the court, and called for a five minute break. Then, he went to sulk in the corner.

Akaashi walked over to Y/N, who was sitting on the side biting at her nails nervously. She’d never seen Bokuto mess up this badly. It was making her anxious. Something must have happened to him to make him this upset. It was even more concerning that he wouldn't tell her what was wrong. He always vented to her.

The boy looked down at her boredly. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I don't know! Ever since this morning, he’s been upset, but he won't tell me!” she cried, dramatically pressing her face into her hands. “I’m so worried about him!”

“Hmm, that's strange,” Akaashi muttered. He sent a look to the captain, who was still sulking, but this time, he was sneakily staring at his two friends. He tried to hide it by keeping his head down, but it was obvious his eyes were glued on them.

She mumbled, oblivious to his gaze, “I don't know what to do.”

“Yell at him. Say something to make him feel better. You've been pretty quiet all practice, you know.” He placed a hand on her shoulder with a small pat.

She lifted her head, mustering up some courage and her voice. He was right. Her encouragement always brought him out of his dejection mode. “Kou-kun! You can do it! You're the best ace in the whole world!” she yelled to him. “I believe in you!”

Immediately, he perked up. His hair seemed like it spiked up higher with his happiness. It was so cute. His cheeks turned red, and he turned around, approaching the court.

Akaashi knew what was going on. He didn't say anything, but he did send her a quiet, “good job” under his breath. Damn, those two, so in love with each other it made him want to throw up.

The practice continued after that, and just as she said, he did so much better. All his spikes were amazing. He was back in the game. Her heart beat faster, excited that her simply words could make him feel so much better.

When he performed a particularly strong and amazing spike, he screamed. He ran across the court to Y/N, grabbing her hands tightly and shaking them. His expression was begging for praise, and she would give him some...right after he released her hands. “Bokuto, your hands are sweaty.”

The smile on his face faltered. Damn, rejected once again.

“Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird all day…”

“No! I’m not okay!” he shouted, almost theatrically. He turned his head, his eyes shut and his cheeks puffed out in a strong pout. She raised a hand to touch his arm, but he only stepped away, huffing.

She frowned, biting her lip. Was he upset this whole time because of her? She didn't think she'd done anything wrong, but with Bokuto, it could be one of the littlest things to set him off. It made her so incredibly sad.

She asked tentatively, her words just barely a whisper. “What’s wrong?”

He said nothing though. He only ducked his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Fine! Don’t tell me! Talk to stupid Akaashi instead!” she yelled him, turning her head away from him as well, arms crossed and cheeks in a pout. Akaashi, in the distance, sighed. He wasn't even offended, just fucking exhausted. This entire argument was ridiculous.

Bokuto wanted to maintain the silent treatment, but he couldn't. He felt like his mouth was gonna burst open and his mind was going to explode with all the self-deprecating things bouncing around in there.

“Why do you like Kuroo more than me?!” he questioned, sending her a glare. “What makes him so special that you have a crush on him?” He said it. He finally said it.

So much for that plan. It was out the window and burning now.

Why the hell had he come to that conclusion? In no way, ever, would she like Kuroo. If that was what Bokuto was upset about all day, then he was a complete dumbass. “I don't have a crush on Kuroo, Bokuto! Why the hell would you think that?”

“Because you always hug him and laugh at his jokes and flirt with him and giggle and do all that stuff when he's around!”

“You dumbass, I do those same things around you too. I’d never let Kuroo kiss me, you know? I wouldn't fix his hair if he changed it, because I don't care about him or how he looks. You know who I care about?” She looked right at him as if challenging him to say anything other than the right answer. “You. I thought that was obvious!”

“Well, I care about you a lot more, Y/N. You're my favorite person ever, and I don't want anybody taking you away from me,” he exclaimed. “Not Kuroo, not Akaashi, no one!”

“No one's ever gonna do that, Bokuto. I told you that. You're all I need!”

“Why don't you love me then?!” he blurted out without thinking. “I love you so much, and I thought you knew. How did you not notice, Y/N? How can you not love me back?” That was embarrassing, but he couldn't go back on it now. Maybe he just ruined everything...He didn't know.

But he sure did feel like a total disaster.

She gaped at him. He was always up front, but he never said something like that. Was that why he kissed her this morning? Did he fix his hair and uniform just for her? Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought.

She loved Bokuto. Everyone on the planet knew she loved him, just not him.

Stupid.

“Come here, you crazy birdbrain,” she ordered, waving him closer. He was so tall, so tall that she hated the difference. But when he leaned down, she could reach him just fine. Gently, she placed both her cold hands on his cheeks before yanking him against her. For such a small girl, she was strong.

Her lips smashed to his. She kissed him with her eyes squeezed shut and her lips pressed together. It was so awkward and clumsy, since it was her first kiss after all.

His eyes remained open, wide and shocked. Y/N was kissing him. His soulmate was finally kissing him. He felt like he was in a dream. He placed his hands on the arm rests of her chair to keep himself steady. Suddenly, his legs felt so shaky he might fall over.

She pulled away and just stared at him. “I love you, stupid,” she told him firmly. His shocked open mouthed gap quickly turned into a wild, ecstatic grin. He jumped back, throwing both his fists in the air, falling to his knees, and proceeding to screech.

Y/N stifled her laughter with her hand. He was just too cute. Her eyes scanned the room, seeing all the members of the team watching in amusement. Everyone knew they would get together one of these days.

Even Kuroo.

#bokuto koutarou #bokuto #haikyuu #haikyuu one shot #writing #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #handicap reader #disabled reader #possible trigger warning?

87 notes · View notes

jeffhane · 4 years ago

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dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man

#how many ads are there you ask?#too many #i never watch things live #this is .... a lot #american cell service is so cheap #cruella de vil ad😭#how does the cw app work #more ads ig #i dont have the attention span to remember what happened before the ads

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seblore · 4 years ago

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everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

#obviously i have not listened to the two delux songs yet so yeah <3 #im sorry about this i have neither proofread this nor do i think this makes any sense </3 #also i just realized i swore alot in this.... its that kind of a year huh ;D #anyways tysm anon for your eagerness for MY rant on evermore <3 truly honored #have a great day ilyy #answered 🗣#evermore era

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keenge · 5 years ago

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I was holding her in my arms when the phone rang ... "It's 3:30 in the fucking morning this had better be important !!!" I said losing the dream. " Mat, it's T and I really do hate to bother you, but I think he is back," said my partner and best friend Theresa McCawley , " Beat patrol found her body about 30 minutes ago, down by the docks." " I'll be there in 15 minutes Teri. " and I hung up, got dressed and locked my door and left the house. My name is Mathias MacGregor and I have been a cop in Riverside, La. most of my adult life, was born and raised there, and the man my partner was referring to is known as the Dock Master ... this is our story.

It all started when a young girl, 16, was found beaten raped, brutally tortured and murdered on the East dock 8 years ago. Since then he has left 12 more bodies and so many unanswered questions it makes me sick. He had a calling card, my initials carved into the victims foreheads, a detail the press miraculously has never found out about.

It's been a year since he struck the last time, a year since he put a bullet into my chest and I put one into his leg and back, a year filled with pain rehab and booze and me tracking the few clues he has left behind.

The second victim was found less than a week after the first and it was the pathologist that mentioned the letters ... my name isn't well known outside the department and certainly not my middle initial, so it was obvious that a message was being sent since a letter arrived for me at the lab while we were waiting for the autopsy report.

She had been beaten and raped like the first girl but the torture was different, not by much, but enough to see the bastard knew what he was doing and was good at it, a beat cop brought me the letter having signed for it from a courier. Inside was my full name a description of both victims including marks left by the torture and one sentence, "These are only the beginning."

That was 8 years and 10 victims ago, but god it feels like a lifetime. I got close a year ago because he made one mistake, just one but it was enough to trap him. We just weren't prepared for the fight he put up, 2 officers dead, 3 more including myself wounded and a shit ton of publicity asking why we havent caught him. " Mat, the call went out on a cell and came straight to me, they know the rules." This is why I adore my partner and best friend, Teri can read me like a book.

There had been calls made over the radios for the first 4 victims but, after the 3rd and 4th had my initials on their foreheads as well as the first 2, we decided anymore would go out over special phones we had made for our department.

Don't get me wrong I don't hate the press, I just don't have much use for them to be honest. They twist words and actions and typically report only what they want.

After the first 4 victims they were already calling him the Dock Master, even though we had begged them not to, we had learned from other cities giving a serial killer a name tends to make them bolder and more ... violent.

"Do we have an I.D. on her yet?" I asked of nobody in particular, "No lieutenant, but she doesn't look like a typical street kid." I walked over knelt down and pulled the sheet back from her face, OH MOTHERFUCKER" I yelled, making everyone jump and turn towards me, " This is Mayor Thompson's daughter!!!" Teri looked at me with wide eyes and for the first time since the shooting last year I saw fear in her face.

Every single cop in Riverside knew Jesse Thompson, she was the city's darling because she was pretty and had a voice like an angel.

"Are you sure Mat" Teri asked in a hoarse whisper, "She is supposed to be in Chicago for the Cheerleading competition." "Yeah, I'm sure T, he didnt damage her face, except to leave his mark" I said, "I'll make the notification myself and meet you at the lab."

When I got to the lab I had a grim sense of satisfaction tempered with a pity I never thought I'd ever feel for the man i was sure was the biggest crook in our small part of the world. After the shooting, our esteemed Mayor, in his infinite wisdom, took to the press (see above opinions) and made us seem like the Keystone Kops.

I was personally accused of mishandling the evidence and the investigation and causing the deaths and injuries of my friends and comrades.

"Doc says it will be tomorrow before her report is ready Mat, go home and get some sleep for what it's worth, I'll go to the office then head home myself" said Teri when I walked through the doors. "Come by the house when your done at the office if you want T, we could both use some stress relief about now" I said with a sad smile. " You still have your key, I'll be in the shower and you can join of you want." She smirked hugged me and whispered " Only if you promise to be a little rough" and walked away towards the exit.

Teri and I have known each other for 25 yrs and it wasn't until 3 yrs ago that either of us ever really thought about being anything but friends, as strange as that sounds, we were both either with someone or only one of us was single or whatever the case may be but it took that long, but damn it was worth the wait.

When she got to my house I was in the shower as promised, as she came into the bathroom I could tell she had been crying, so I stood under the water waiting for her to decide what she was going to do, as she stepped in I grabbed her, pushed her against the wall, and fell to my knees in front of her, grabbed her thighs and pushed them apart.

I slid my tongue into her wet slit, flicking her clit, as I grabbed her breasts with my hands and played with her nipples. "OH MY GOD YES" she yelled, as I gently sucked her clit into my mouth, and rubbed it between my upper and lower teeth, as she came she grabbed my hair pulling me up and said "FUCK ME NOW"

As we were in the tub she shoved me down, grabbed me in her hand and squeezed, as she stroked slowly smiling at me, then swung her leg over and lowered herself onto my face, allowing me to find her clit and lips with my tongue, as she took me in her mouth, and slowly licked and sucked up and down my manhood, while I was licking and sucking her womanhood until she finished on my face and in my mouth,"God that feels amazing" she said letting me out of her mouth, she turned and rolling onto her back, pulled me over with her and taking me in her hand she guided me inside of her slowly, squeezing and caressing me inch by inch until I was all the way in, then she wrapped her legs around me, looked into my eyes, and said "Fuck me as hard as you can". So I did, and we both came, her at least 2 more times as I filled her with mine, then I slid down her body and proceeded to lick and suck her clean, making her cum again, then I picked her up and held her in my arms as she cried again, I held her till she was finished , then we laid down on the bed, and went to sleep snuggled together, in what would be the last decent sleep we would get for almost 6 months.

When we woke up that afternoon we didnt say much, just cleaned up and headed back to the lab where the coroner, Gina Dubois, was waiting with her report. " This is a bad one Mat, he has added to his repertoire. She died due to almost total exsanguination ... she lost about 95% of her total blood volume. But before she died he hurt her bad, I counted 146 broken bones, almost every single muscle, tendon and ligament was either stretched or torn, she was beaten worse than the rest ... " , she paused and I could feel the anger and frustration radiating from her, "She was raped repeatedly with a sharp double edged weapon both vaginally and analy, then he forced salt inside of her with a large rounded blunt object about 10 inches in diameter ... he tore her open inside so bad that even if she had been in a hospital she would have died!" " He also raped her and left fluids behind which we are analyzing now, but there is something else ..." and again she paused. "What is it Gina?" Asked Teri. Gina still hesitated, then finally spoke. "He left something else behind inside of her, a letter addressed to Mat" she said, " The letter is in my office since I haven't logged it into evidence yet." "Gina, what are you hiding?" I asked, "Not logging evidence is not like you, and you are kinda worrying me right now." "Fucking A and you should be worried, Mat he knows your full name, not just the goddamned initials, he knows you almost intimately," she said, "You don't even have your middle name listed officially anywhere, I know, I checked, so how the hell does he know so much about you?" Now I am not the kind of person that gives out my personal information to anyone, so for the bastard to know so much... " Gina, Teri, I swear I don't know, only 5 or 6 people know that name, there is a fucking reason I don't use it," I said, "The man that raped my mother and got her pregnant, he ... he kept tabs on her, and when she went into labor he followed her to the fucking hospital, and after I was born, he just walked in proud as you fucking please, and added a name to my birth certificate, my middle name... God I hate the name, but I have used what happened to her to become the cop I am, my middle name is, Dubois..." I heard Gina and Teri both draw in sharp breaths as they digested what I had just told them. I went into Gina's office and found the letter, and walked outside debating on who could know my full name, and hate me enough to do this kind of fucked up bullshit in my city.

Teri caught up to me as I was getting in my truck, "Mat" she began, "I am so sorry, you never told me anything about your childhood or growing up with what happened to you. But it doesn't change who you are, you are still my partner and goddammnit I need you to be at your best because this fucker is killing children in our city and he almost got you, so snap the fuck out of what ever funk your in and let's get to work and catch this maniac!" Leave it to Teri to put it so plainly and yet so perfectly, " Ok, T, your right, we need to go to the hospital so I can talk to Ashley, she needs to know about the letter." The letter! I hadn't even looked at it yet, and suddenly I was afraid to! Before I go too much further let me explain a bit more... Ashley Wise was the doctor that operated on me and the other cops that were wounded in the failed attempt to catch this bastard, but more importantly she is my baby sister.

"She is one of the very few people that know my full name so I need to talk to her ASAP."

I now my grammar and punctuation is atrocious but bear with me it is a work in progress

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96xie · 5 years ago

Text

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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