#it makes me feel really good about myself and really productive yk???
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i hate how im returning to the old type of sad after all i’ve done to be the new type of sad
#ok right#if i hate how i look and how i talk and how i act#that makes me productive#it makes me go on runs#but#if i hate the way i’m born and the way i love and the way i’ll never get to do so many things#i can’t do anything about that#no amount of staring in the mirror can convince me to be reborn#i swear#im becoming more and more like my y8 self#but at least y8 me had a reason for feeling so alone and finding friends online#what’s my excuse now#maybe it’s because i started talking to some polynomers people again#psych ward girl is still there#the mods r still there#talking to those people never goes well#i put so so so much effort into making myself feel better#and in 2023 i felt fine#for those brief few months at the end of last year and start of this year i actually felt really good about everythign#and then i don’t know what happened#but all of a sudden ‘i don’t care about appearances bcs i’m not shallow’ turned into ‘i need to be pretty or i won’t be loved’#and suddenly every centimetre of my body was imperfect#but at least i could try fix my body#if i start feeling bad for things i can’t change#it won’t end well yk
1 note
·
View note
Note
i wanna thank you for, what i guess i’ll call your “curl confidence”. what i mean by this is, thank you for always being so proud of your curly hair as well as drawing curly hair in general so much. growing up as someone with VERY curly hair naturally, i loved my hair, but i felt ashamed of it because it was different from everyone else’s hair and i even got made fun of for my natural hair unfortunately. in current times, seeing you be so open about your curls (as well as other artists too) has been really inspiring and it helped me see the good in my hair again too :) i hope you take this as a good thing to hear and not a stressful thing, but, even though i’m not much younger than you, you are such a great role model luvu. you’re inspiring on so many levels, you’ve been doing so many great things as you’ve grown through the past years, you’re a great, kind, and funny person, and you just have this energy that’s so welcoming and encouraging, i’ll always thank you for that. 🙏💚⭐️
this post is gen about to make me start crying man ;_; im gonna go on a lil yap post so im sorry </3
i always grew around girls who were yk. WHITE and had straight hair, so in mid school, all i knew is that it puffed up and i didn't like it and i liked it straight because it made me ""prettier"", then one day when i went to PR with my family, my mom used this cream in my hair and suddenly it was defined to ALL hell, and i never realized i had curly hair until like months after that, and eventually i started digging into "curly hair" products to use
let me tell you, it took many haircuts/trims and many products to truly have my hair the way it is now. and even with my hair as it is, i can't do many things like other people because it damages my curls, and knowing how hard i worked to make it come out the way it is, i just dont want to undo all that hard work my HS self put in to get it to how it is now
seeing messages like this really does warm my heart, because it truly makes me remember when i would draw myself and try to portray myself as those other girls when that just wasnt who i was or what i looked like, and it makes me feel so heartwarmed being able to be that representation that y'all needed to feel confident in that stuff, because it's something i needed as a kid as well, im so grateful to have such a loving community and this post really speaks to me :'( thank you so much man i appreciate y'all so fuckin much
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to expose myself as a cavetown fan (HDJFJS) but i was listening to alone from his new album (i added it to xie lian’s playlist a while ago) and it hit like so much harder now that i finished the books
⚠️ spoilers for book 6!! (i think) (white calamity arc) (anyways) ⚠️
"I feel like I bought all my friends Am I your bud or your boss?"
this one reminds me of when mq left and xl started kind of panicking. he thought mq left because he didn't care enough to stay now that he wasn't getting paid, and gave his last valuable possession in an attempt to ensure that he would stay. he doesn't have a great sense of whether or not what he had with mq and fx was friendship (IT WAS BECAUSE I SAID SO AND BECAUSE THEY SHOW EACH OTHER SO MANY TIMES THAT THEY GENUINELY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER) and he thought he had to keep paying fx off.
but fx was genuinely sticking around because he was loyal and because he cared about what happened to xl :(
"I'm wanting to beg 'em to stay I'm wanting to be who they choose But still I keep pushing away From people I don't wanna lose"
xl truly did not want to lose fx after everything that happened. he lived in that constant state of fear that fx would disappear and he'd be alone, and did so much to try to make sure it wouldn't happen.
in the end, the anxiety and fear was too much for him and he pushed fx away for good. he described the feeling of freedom of that fall. he was the one to cut fx off and make him leave, and it gave him the power. he made the decision and he made the final move, and when fx left he didn't ever have to think about how he might've felt if fx was the one who left him of his own will.
"Isn't it fun to be alone? Isn't it what you want? Isn't it something you've been looking for? Isn't it fun?"
after slowly pushing everyone away and ending up entirely alone, and after everything that happened with wu ming, xl would've never admitted that it wasn't really what he wanted. not after wu ming. so he kept acting like that was what he wanted, like he wasn't feeling lonely, like it didn't hurt, because he wanted to feel pain and suffer for everything that he took as his own blame. he saw it as his fault, all a product of his own foolishness and selfishness and naivety, so the loneliness he chased was his curse to bear.
SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE OR. IS INACCURATE. I'M JUST YK GOING INSANE W MY THOUGHTS JAHSDGFASD
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#feng xin#mu qing#xianle trio#wu ming#tgcf analysis#evo yaps#god can u tell i think abt them all the time#they never leave my mind#im so normal tbh
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
every single little detail they managed to fit into bmc
yeah there are SO MANY details in this show and its driving me crazy so im gonna amass everything into posts
ik many of these are well known or obvious or whatever but im doing it so anyone who didnt know about any of these could easily learn it all in one go without having to scour the internet or rewind and watch the background in every single scene yk (also i noticed so many of these myself and im kinda proud and its a way for me to get it all out)
i’m also going to be using @/thesquirrelqueer's be more chill archive which is amazing and frankly scary so go give em some love
edit i changed my mind halfway through this cause thats gonna take me forever so if you want to see all the visual details go check that out. its like thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference i think all the little quirks showcase their personality quite well
im gonna start all the way from the beginning so FIRST UP is 2river's "More Than Survive" (album+show, specifically the one 35 minute 👢)
im telling you its LONG so prepare yourself for that. maybe pull up the video to watch side by side so yk what im talking about (the video on yt is "this isnt be more chill" because its NOT be more chill) tiny warning for very mild nsfw mentions cause its bmc
from the first "c-c-c-cmon" up to "and now of course its time to hit the road" theres a sound that sounds like a mouse clicking to the beat in the background. i thought this was to reflect the show when jeremy stops clicking at his laptop at the line "and now of course its time to hit the road" to gets up and put his pants on, but during "but that really isnt such a change/if im not feeling weird or super strange" you can still hear the clicks. maybe its there just for repetitions sake cause it breaks off at "which means ill be uncomfortable all day" and resumes for those two lines, then you dont hear it again. you can hear this one very clearly if you watched the show, but its a little fainter in the album (i figured it out from the album lmao go me)
during the bus scene in the show when everyones going to their places, jeremy almost crashes into rich and you can hear his voice hitch
christine watches this interaction before "sitting down" on the bus to read
i think brooke is asleep during the bus ride, and gets woken up when the bus jerks forward
jake nearly drops his phone too (again this is all based on the 35 minute video on yt. im sure small things change every show, but this is all we got so im picking this one apart)
jeremy keeps smoothing his hair behind his right ear with his palm, probably a nervous gesture. he does it when they "get off the bus"
during the ensembles (i dont think thats the right word but it just makes it easier for me you know who im talking about) "c-c-c-cmon", michael loses his signal on his phone when they get to school, hence the "cmon"
chloe impatiently gestures to brooke to "cmon" and follow her (yk)
jenna waves to christine. christine puts her book down and waves back, then again just watches jenna and then people
rich messes with jenna and she goes to hit him
after the "c-c-c-cmon"s rich jumps out from backstage and hits jeremy in the nuts you can hear jeremys faint noise of pain
in the little dance break jake and jenna are dancing on opposite sides of the stage, then wave at each other (im pretty sure). jeremy looks back and forth between them while they dance and mistakenly waves to jenna when they spin around (just watch it youll know what i mean)
when chloe, brooke and jenna are gossiping, up to jakes "its a good thing i rock at pool" the "rich set a fire" tune plays in the background (something something gossip rumors) chloe is holding a textbook with the earth on it, so science or something probably. there’s a magazine article page that says “what cheating does to [i can’t see what it says]”, which i’m assuming is a reference to jake?? she also have page cutouts of hair products, straighteners, etc, and i think a picture of either taylor swift or brooke i really can’t tell 💀💀when rich writes on jeremys backpack, he pulls him up by the collar to say "youre dead", then pushes him (jeremy pushes his hair back again) into mr reyes' path where hes walking to put up the play sign up sheet. (side note gerards voice cracked on 'dont touch me tall ass" so it sounds like hes having a tantrum and will connolly looks like a meerkat and i love them both)
when jake says "its a good thing i rock at pool" chloe and brooke hide behind a pillar and listen in, then chloe does a sort of "i told you so" gesture. during the whole "i navigate the dangerous hall" scene, brooke chases after chloe as she storms off upset. rich messes with jenna again and she chases him offstage, then mr reyes follows (im pretty sure he pinched her ass) i dunno if this is a coincidence but christine runs after them offstage too. christine and jenna friendship w
jeremy genuinely sounds so excited when he realized it was a sign up sheet and i wholeheartedly believe he wanted to join the play even before christine, she was just the final push
when the ensemble comes back out before the "christiiiiiiiiine" mr reyes comes out dragging rich by the ear while jenna smugly walks behind them (read back to him pinching her ass). rich flips him off after he lets go. jake walks past chloe without looking up from his phone and chloe does a 180 to chase after him. forgot to mention michael has his hood on and bops to his music in the background of all the ensemble scenes but yk its pretty well known
oh god class scene here we go. rich and jake make the 👌👈 sign at michael. rich very aggressively shoves his WHOLE HAND into the circle and opens his hand. jenna raises her hand and mr reyes brushes her off in favor of trying and failing to get jake to stop, so he moves on to rich. he puts a hand on richs arm and sorta makes the "wtf" gesture. rich makes the "sorry about that" motion with his hand still around his wrist which is kinda funny to me (just watch it i cant even describe it) jake turns to talk to brooke, who was previously talking to chloe. jenna waves to christine again. also christine seemed really shy every time jenna waves at her, and never waves first. idk if this is a coincidence but chloe flips her hair back and brooke mirrors it right after. there’s a poster for an anime club on the bulletin board with the sign up sheet
MICHAEL
jeremys fucking bops to his intro i love him
really quick when michael goes "and were almost at the end of this song" and does his dance jeremy bops along with him. NOW if we stretch a bit and say this actually happened then that means jeremy knew what song he was listening to/where hes at based on him dancing to it earlier they know each other so well they are best friends and possibly boyfriends in this essay i will
jeremy flops his head to the side on the beat and with michaels "how was class" slap hes so dramatic
i think i might be tripping but right after "i hate this school" and during the tore it up and flushed it thing michael in the bathroom plays very very faintly in the bg. IM NOT TRIPPING in the album mitb plays during the humanity stopped evolving thing up to "better time in history to be a loser". and THEN from "so own it" up to the christine jingle THE PANTS SONG PLAYS. you can just barely hear it in the boot too
during the first "canigula" michael waves in front of jeremys face and he kicks at him
before jeremys sign up verse michael takes his lunch tray and jerks his head towards the sheet in a "go on" motion and then ofc pushes him towards it HES SUPPORTIVE OF HIM HELLO this furthers my belief of jeremy being a secret theatre kid. jeremy looks back at him on "who cares if people think im lame" like hes reassuring himself can you hear my heart
when rich shouts "GAAAY" mr reyes points and goes after him
when they all come out to dance, jeremy first mistakenly waves to chloe when she waves at jenna, then rich when he goes to dap jake up, then tries to wave at michael but he spins away while presumably listening to his music. christine just watches chloe and brooke talk again
when they all start slowly standing up at the "go"s jeremy looks so confused
also when he jumps off the chair that is PEAK meerkat moment. then he lands and just stands there for like a solid 3 seconds its so funny to me
LORD almighty we're done that took weeks okay uhh please tell me if i should do EVERYTHING everything like broadway off broadway australia cause lord knows im the ceo of bmc australia rn also i dont want to sound pretentious but please reblog cause i spent so much time and effort on this useless fucking post 😭😭 but whatever i had fun
#WOW i am so normal about this fucking show#also a while ago i learned fucking joe iconis is in fact on tumblr so mr joe iconis if you see this hello you have a very nice musical#shoutout to thesquirrelqueer for giving me permission to use the archive even though i ended up not using it#like i said thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference#watching the background gives you a lot of insight into the characters#i tried to seperate them into sections i hope its not too hard to read#im heavy tagging this idc im not spending so long on this for it to flop#bmc#be more chill#be more chill musical#bmc two river#be more chill two rivers#jeremy heere#michael mell#rich goranski#brooke lohst#chloe valentine#jenna rolan#jake dillinger#christine canigula#bmc jeremy#jeremy bmc#michael bmc#bmc michael#rich bmc#bmc rich#bmc brooke#bmc chloe#bmc jenna#bmc jake
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
welcome to the good times
(i hope, anyways)
hello! i'm theriverpointace :D url comes from where my extended family calls home + me being ace. you can call me river or ace :P
i'm not legally a minor but i still kinda consider myself one + aroace + sex-repulsed = no sex please! thanks <3
this is rather a fandom-centric blog, but which fandom depends on the day haha. (i'd add what i'm currently posting about but i don't trust myself to update this very often haha. figure it out <3) however it is not exclusively fandom! you'll see some other silly cute stuff too. and the occasional Horrors i'm sure.
tagging system:
#talk tag: this is when i make an original post in conjunction with that, my #ask tag is for asks! #riverpoint art: art #riverpoint writing: my writing and also me talking about my writing projects #friend tag: my friends <3 #for ángel: tag for my girlfriend who i love very much so i reblog posts for aer so ly has nice things to look at bc i don't get to talk to star v often :(
my projects! i'm not necessarily working on all of these all the time but i do love to turn them over in my head :) also at the time of my writing this i haven't posted about. any of these. yet. but i really really hope to soon!!
the paris project: my science-fantasy steampunk rewrite of the story of the trojan war in defense of paris of troy
the newsies unexpected powers au: a newsies au where they live in a little village and have random powers and go about their daily lives with such powers. generally more wacky (apothecary shenanigans) but has its serious moments (lab rats)
the postapocalyptic theban senator villain arc: i was recently in a small-town college production of sophocles' antigone (trans. don taylor) that was set in a punk-rock postapocalyptic thebes! i had a lot of fun building my character and shaping her backstory for the show, and as we struck the set, i began thinking about what happens to her afterwards ... and decided that she learns absolutely nothing from creon's arrogance and downfall.
idk those are the big ones. for right now at least. i love them so much. i have another couple smaller ones that, much as i love them, just haven't been as fleshed out. (helen and dean, the war orphans, the pirates, the villain protag zak, and two different groups of superheroes. and then probably some others. yk how it goes.)
anyways that should be that! i love making friends so feel free to reach out if you think i post about cool things!
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
hii it's unorcadox ^_^ how does your editing process work!!! like how do you choose what images to use, how to combine them, how to get the right "feel" etc. 👀 very curious abt ur answer
Damn, great question! Also, love your edits, Orca! (also a bit jelous abt your productivity, wish i had so many great ideas) So i present to you: a wall of text! (cw really long!)
So, many people see a great base image and then immideately get an idea of what they wanna do w/ it. I'm not like that, i ususally have an idea of an edit in mind, and then search for sometimes a few hours for a base image that may work. I have a whole tutorial-worthy process of how i always find what i need, but i digress… Most of the times, tho, i get something better than what i had in mind. I love this process, cause it's like tresure hunting for me. (ofc it's not always like that, just most of the time. Since i have a giant collection of base images i may sometimes use them). I choose my images based on the mood i wanna portray. It's always supposed to be looking kinda dreamlike and unreal, but it can also be creepy, dark, bright, etc.
When editing my favourite style of edits - fake dreamlike places - I try to make them look as real as possible, regarding color, lighting, etc, while still making them look blatantly fake regarding the composition, subject matter, etc. Ofc i don't try to perfect my lighting, since it can take away the feeling i strive for, so it's kinda based on my own feelings idk. I get really inspired by the surrealists' painting. Artists like Brent Wong, for example. Liminal spaces are already weird, so why not make them even weirder, by making the geometry non-Euclidean and subject matter impossible in the real world. Also unlike surrealist painters, i have a luxiry of making the scene like "more real" by combining actual photos in photoshop. Ofc people have been making surreal art w/ 3d programs forever now, but it still doesn't give off the same feeling real picture does, yk.
Uhh... what was i talking about... Ah, yes! I firstly make a collage, that i have in mind by this point, and sometimes it just... doesn't work out! i had discarded so many great ideas, cause they weren't turning out good. But if it works, i add shadows and highlights. I look at real liminal space photos and try to really analyze them. Like, what makes them work? the color, the quality, the blurriness? Then i add effects that works to my edit. Every edit needs it's own level of compression, sharpness, blurriness... You just gotta feel it.
Really important step. I leave my edit for a few hours, so i forget how it looks, and then return later. All the imperfections, things that don't work, etc pop out immediately. I read somewhere that the process of creating and the process of analyzing are two completely different things, and i couldn't agree more. It's annoying when you have a finished edit, and you really wanna show it to the world, but you have to wait... But it's better, than being embarrassed later that you posted something unfinished and you can't fix it now.
Ofc i make text edits as well, but they basically serve the same purpose and not that interesting to describe, cause process is the same just with a few steps skipped.
There wasn't such question, but i still wanna talk about it, cause it kinda answers "how do you get the right feel". Well, why do i make edits? Well, the world sucks ass (i don't agree w/ this statement for the most part, like friends are great, nature is buitifull, but then there are parts that just... yk...) and for me weirdcore is a sort of an escapism. I can't traverse dreamworlds mindlessly, alone or come across magical events in real world, sadly. But I can make them however i would like them to look and feel, with my characters (like deer), and my own thoughts about them, that no one except me knows. It's kinda like i actually've been there, and i took a picture. Or hell, maybe i've never been here myself, but those deer were, or invisible creatures, that are not in the shot. And i know them personally, cause i made them, they are a part of myself! And it really helps, and i'm so glad these pictures resonate with so many more people here too! I had been making these pictures without realising why for a year. I had some thoughts and heard dozens of opinins of other pople, but i hadn't had a full picture. And then a video by SuperEyePatchWolf about liminal spaces comes out, and i get it now, it was really eye opening, for me at least. It explains really well why we love unreality so much.
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
any suggestions of how to get thru a fast? i know a few good distractions such as chewing gum, walking, eating ice, taking a shower, etc. but im talking more mentally and self control wise
like how do i power thru yk
one thing which i find works for me is try not to think too much of what you’re going to eat to break your fast, when your next meal is and like all the stuff relating to food, it’s not the most reliable method as the majority of the time whenever you try to stop thinking about something you just think about not thinking about it which is still thinking about it, but try and make days on which you fast a bit more productive than others (for example i’ll go on a walk/hike in an area i haven’t really been before, plan a time for watching a movie, start reading a book i’ve been pushing aside, etc,) as then you will actually be distracted and doing something you enjoy.
another thing i do is like actually think about how ill feel when i’m at my gw or smth, not like meanspø where they tell you to think about how ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’ you are, but i js like to think about how there is genuinely a version of me where i have a body i like, or a weight i’m happy with, and how that could affect my life (like i’d feel more comfortable with wearing certain types of clothing which would js make me happier in general as i have an interest in fashion and clothing styles so being able to comfortably express myself like that would overall make me happier, not just about my body and weight)
these may or may not work for you but js remember that it’s okay to break a fast earlier than you wanted, our bodies are designed to constantly send signals to our brain if we are even a little bit hungry, tired or thirsty, so even js skipping 1 meal a day is a big difference <3
stay safe ^_^
#this was a lot longer than i anticipated lmao but i hope these were helpful#emi’s asks !!#emi n ana !!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
haven't opened this game in a bit, been busy with school and final fantasy ghsjkasfh but i have to say, i'm looking forward to patch 7 being the end of the story changes. like, for better or worse, that's It, no more speculation, no more dreading what bad fan ideas larian execs will subject us to next, that's it. feels a bit like an exhalation over here lmfao. (maybe that's a bit dramatic fghjk but like i didn't Buy a beta or a live client product, it's a single player rpg. i might gripe about mmo changes but ultimately it makes more sense to me just by nature of the game itself. idk anyways.)
i'll most likely not go at it again til after the patch, not just bc i want to experience the final version but i also burned myself out on 5 back to back playthroughs LOL. been missing my girls though, they've been circling around now that i'm done with school and have less on my plate. nothing groundbreaking yet ofc, just little scenes & contextless snippets. but that's always the precursor to, yknow, actual Writing from me, can't wait to see what happens when something in me finally snaps and goes 'Oh Fuck you gotta write this fic NOW.' probably will also try to have the protagonist trio all at least cameo because i think that velrith, haelryne & ashlanna have the makings of a dramatic sitcom dynamic and i need it. im also craving platonic interactions between ashlanna and astarion. between the basic class of personalities and the whole dhampir vs. spawn thing, i just think it would be Messy but also real fucking good.
also heard we're getting some updated wyll interactions. probably won't be a Lot but i'm hoping i'll get something to build off of. haelryne runs into the issue some of my other initial ocs for games in the past have; yeah, she's the First character and technically the most canon because of it (if you want to call it that) but then she also ends up being one of the more quiet ones somehow. i would like to rectify that, she deserves it. velrith's plot points just kinda write themselves lmao but i'm not surprised, the inherent melancholy of the durge storyline & her as a person lend themselves really well to what i typically gravitate towards, & she does kind of fall into the focal role thanks to that but i'm at peace with it yk.
anyways! its late, this probably doesnt read super coherently, but it felt like it was something that needed to be said
#yes yes im always thinking abt velrith ofc i am shes my baby#but hdgjsdhj wyll/haelryne is Very Good ive been thinking abt them a lot#more just vibes nothing cohesive enough to do anything with but! thinking abt them nonetheless
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
ok sooo basically i’m a bit stressed about LIFE and i just wanna rant
i’m currently in college doing a psych/arts degree but the only reason i’m doing it is because i don’t know what i want to do in life (career wise) and i didn’t want to NOT go to college because then i’d feel behind? like i’d just be working which is fine but like idk if just doing that would help me figure out what i wanted to do in the future HOWEVER i’m IN college rn and still i don’t know what i want to do
like i chose this degree because it has a lot of career options, like more variety, but like i’m not really enjoying it much either (i just feel like i’m in school again but with less friends)
i’m just so conflicted because it’s like sooo boring but then it’s like-well at least i’m actually doing something yk?
but THEN i’m like well what’s the point??!!! if i don’t actually know what career i’m working towards?
and like if I was just working (i’m a waitress) then i would have more free time and be getting more money so likee😭
but THEN im like well can’t just work a regular job forever can i ??
basically i’m asking ur thoughts because i’m lowkey jealous of u girl like ur living such a slay life just working and then having free time whereas like i have to write stupid papers on stuff i don’t care about and i feel like i’m wasting my time AND money
i know i’m just stressing about the future too much but i’ve already done a whole year and i don’t feel any different about like careers etc
like do you have a plan for the future?? (i’m guessing no cus u give me more spontaneous vibes)
anywayyysss this was so long sawrryyyy love u ❤️
I know exactly how you feel, when I was younger I was an advocate for college a lot because I did have a lot of passion for becoming a psychologist, I finished majority of my time in college and then that’s when I found my current job and to be honest i just began falling in love with it, I was kind of in the same boat where it started to feel more like stress and less like passion, and it started to overwhelm me and since I knew that I had a source of income without fully graduating i lost sight of what i was really doing it for. I can’t encourage you to work full-time and forget about your studies because there are times when I do regret not going all the way with college. But if you’re going through a period of stagnancy with college and you’re struggling to see your future then I think you need to have this conversation with yourself and find something that really motivates you. Life is extremely short and you shouldn’t waste it on doing something that you’re not 100% happy with. If you’re only doing it because it makes you feel productive then this could lead you somewhere you don’t want to be later on in life
for me personally, I felt most happy with just working and being able to live my life the way I want it without the access stress. It took awhile for me to actually finalize my decision but in the end im very happy with how my life turned out so it played a good part. I don’t have a plan for the future because every time I plan for something it ends up going wrong LMFAO I kind of just go with the flow and I do what feels right in the moment, my current job is what’s getting me by and making me happy and I can see myself working here for another 50 years even when I’m 80 years old. even if it’s not typically considered a passion to most people it’s something that I am passionate and I’m very happy with, so when I think about the future, I think about where I am now 
it starts and ends with you, everybody is different, and everybody has their own passions. You need to really sit down and have a conversation with yourself about where you see yourself in the future. And if you don’t see yourself investing into what you’re studying for then I think you need to consider a different route and focus on what makes you the happiest. Even if it seems a bit unrealistic, I always encourage people to do whatever their heart wants😭 . You just need to find it. i’m sorry I’m not the best at giving advice on this. I just relate to it so much and I also had no idea what to do at the time. I just ended up finding some thing I really loved in the midst of college and I chose that over it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
SUMMER GLOW UP
—Welcome back ! Or welcome
Howdy my dear gems ! It’s me fiaanii and here I’m gonna break down the SECRET OF ULTIMATE GLOW UP !!
So… let’s go
We will divide this into 2 parts
PHYSICAL GLOW UP
MENTAL GLOWUP
Let’s first define what glowup actually means ¿!
Glow up :: a significant transformation, typically in physical appearance, that is perceived as an improvement. It's the process of turning yourself into a better version of yourself and becoming more confident, attractive, and successful.
And first we will start with PHYSICAL GLOW UP as I believe that if you feel good physically then it can make you feel good and beautiful mentally
Note : you’re beautiful the way you are this is just to enhance your beauty
physical glow up
Know your body & yourself ::
Knowing your face features and working on them accordingly can make a big change in your appearance! And it will enhance your own beauty—! And ISTG @dear peachie is a the best YouTube channel I can suggest you when it comes to know about yourself more ! Their channel can help you recognise your face shape your face type and also help you with finding your make up syle and over all appearance !
Clear skin ::
yup ! This is in the list as well like come on who doesn’t want a clear skin ¿ and I will tell you my own routine and also the tips
1. Get to know your skin type [ mine is dry skin ]
Well get your face wash and stuff according to your skin type and I’m telling you this because I myself choose the wrong face wash and I kinda regret it ! Coz it messed up my face and now I’m dealing with pimples
2. Now as you got to know your skin buy the product accordingly
Now have a routine I will tell you mine
First I was my face with a korean foam face wash but before washing my face I like to massage my face with coconut oil and gua sha then I use rose water as a toner and spray in on my face [ it helped me with pimples] also while washing my face I usually use cold water since my skin doesn’t like hot or warm water !
Then I use my moisturiser and I use baby cream as a moisturiser! Then I just use my sunscreen I use it from lakmé and yeah ! That’s it
Workout ::
Well workout as it has many benefits not only to be in shape I mean yeah it’s also a priority but also to feel good about your body and be more confident within yourself!
Vibe & aura ::
Create your own vibe and aura that you like ! Be yourself and don’t care what others think just don’t give a fuck be who you want ! Do what you want—! No one gets to tell you what to do ! Also YK creating a playlist to make you feel that way helps alot ! And I literally listen to the songs and playlist to have that kinda vibe which I want
HAIR ::
I use rice water for my hair ! It’s quite simple to use just soak rice in water the day before you have to wash your hair and then when you have to wash it ! Just rinse you hair with rice for like an hour then just wash it like you usually do ! I do it and it helped me alot !
Also for hair style I will recommend @dear peachie as they show you which hairstyle is best for your face shape as my face shape is diamond so I just go with Wonyoung’s hairstyle as they suit me the best and rosé’s hairstyle aswell
At night time ::
At night time I like to just wash my face without the face wash and then I like to moisturise it with the cream and yeah ! That’s it
Lips ::
Many ppl don’t mention the lip part but yeah ! I love to scrub my lips using my own DIY lip scrub coz I’m born at in a strict family and they won’t buy me a lip scrub so I decided to DIY it so… take sugar , honey and coconut oil mix them together and that’s it and then after I’m done I like to ise vasline for my lips !
Beauty hacks ::
Use coconut oil for long lashes or thick eye brow
Keep two spoons in fridge then take them in the morning and massage with them under your eyes for de-puffing your face
Do face yoga to get slimer and defined face
Mental glow up
Once you have a really good and powerful mindset no one can stop you from being your best self
Be your own therapist ::
Now take a diary rant on it , write your emotions, explain your day your problem and just imagine it as your best friend who won’t judge you and help you to feel better! When I tell you that paper had more patience than real people I’m telling you the fact ! Being your own therapist can help you be yourself better and just clear up your mind once you share everything with your diary
Explore ::
Go to new places and explore them try to socialise or go on date with yourself yk solo dates spend some time with yourself! Go to cafe or a restaurant and make bunch of friends but don’t get attached to anyone! DONOTTT ! Be bold and confident because you live once and you won’t get that moment in life again so just goo for it ! You don’t wanna be old and regret to not give a goo and enjoy instead you wanna remember those beautiful memories!
Don’t give a Fu.k ::
I Personally love this one ! Because it says your energy from being wasted and your mood probably too…!
All you gotta do is react less and ignore the things that you don’t like or the people you don’t like ! Simple
Eg - they make fun of you because you’re being you :: don’t give a f and enjoy what you’re doin’
You’re bestie showed you her/his real colours and turned out to be a nasty ugly creature [ and a plastic] don’t react it was probably a lesson for you , ignore her / him
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
oh yes yes i did write some fukuzawa smut on my old blog but i deleted all of it 😭😭 very much regretting it rn because WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND GOOD SMUT WITH HIM !! i definitely see him as a soft but strict dom tho yk, nanami vibes if you will. he likes to please you but he also doesn't mind punishing you if you don't obey him HE'S A MENACE THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY ! also, i can definitely see him being into pet play for some reason, he'd definitely put you in some kitten ears and ask you to call him master or some shit BUT MAYBE I AM IMAGINING A BIT TOO MUCH ON THAT ONE
i can't even judge you for not liking fukuchi because your reasons are really valid BUT I AM COMPLETELY INSANE AND OPERATE ON A HORNINESS BASIS so i do simp for that old man EVEN IF he had the audacity to mess with our precious akutagawa 😭 he's just so hot eight idk I NEED TO BE TAG TEAMED BY HIM AND FUKUZAWA OR I'LL NEVER KNOW PEACE PLEASEEEEEE
and nooo not mori babe 😭😭😭 only because it's you i'll let it pass because you are perfect and can't do anything wrong 🫶( and also because he is actually kinda hot in the manga BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME SAY THAT )
dis' is a sign for you to write more fukuzawa smut then 😵💫😵💫 n' to tag me because WILL I READ THE FUCK OUT OF IT !!!!!!! ARGHHHHH
and you DID NOT JUST BRING PET PLAY INTO THIS 😭😭😭😭 FUKUZAWA SPLURGING ON PRETTY LIL' COLLARS AND FURRY PINK TAILS ON YOU JUST FOR FUN AND TO MAKE YOU SO HAPPY <33 gyu ur not wrong though call him master ONCE and he'd cum in his pants straight up with clenched fists <333 cue a few spanks for having such a filthy, dirty mouth :(
and. I've read this ask for about 10 times and your fukuichi comment STILL MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME !!!!!!! PLZ I agree with you he is an absolute dilf AND THE ONLY GUY I SEE WHO COULD ACTUALLY PULL OFF A MOUSTACHE but at least 4 me he deserves to be punched with a nail-studded bat for what he did to my aku <33 💅 💅 💅 after you're done with him ofcc I won't get in ur way baby <33
and mori. perhaps once I'm done with fukuichi I'd give you the bat to SMASH MY FUCKING BRAINS IN. I CANT STOP THIS FEELINGS GYU IDK WHYTYYYYY ARGHHHHHHHH THEY MADE HIM LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THE ANIME ?????? FUCK THE PRODUCTION TEAM I WANNA KILL MYSELF NOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭 PLS PLS PLS I WANNA KISS HIM and crack his dick in half so bad pls help me
#🗑. asks#SOBS#yes i did gatekeep this ask tqvm#n im not kidding over giggling every time i read the fukuichi comment skskskssj#like i get it so much i'm so w u babe 😘😘
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT 'what did i do?' exist 'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish? 'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort. 'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie. 'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it. 'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was... 'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry! 'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes. 'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming? 'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!! 'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice. 'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT 'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better? 'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES 'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here. 'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine. 'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though. AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though. yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like??? ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form?? these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them). and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty). hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з
HI <3
have you ever watched aristocats? i remember loving it as a child but also i cant remember anything that happened in the film besides the fact i love this kitty mari(? is that her name lol AHHAH) so much
good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT
YES TEENY TINY KITTY <3
'what did i do?' exist
omg HAHAHA love that for me HAHA
'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish?
oh does it. it just looks... cute to me HAHAHAH
'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort.
<3 <3
'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie.
thank you i love you
'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з
did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it.
lol ok once i finish my midterms ill watch that after watching one ep from the last of us. now i have something to look forward to now i have to finish my activities
'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was...
they look like they have so much fun, both in the show but also shooting it irl
'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry!
T_T
'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes.
damn ok HAHAH
'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming?
but its part of the process. i love making art and moodboards <3
'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!!
<3 it is so much fun to write that. it sucks that i find it hard to write, though i did manage to make a pedro pascal fic again AHAHHA
'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice.
thank you my love
'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT
THE BEANZ I LOVE THE PAW PAW BEANS
'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better?
i never said you should follow my example. listen to your teachers kid. also idk if im better im usually out of it when im hungry im quite hungry rn but ill eat later after my grunkle is finished eating
'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES
thank you. it rained today, so its not hot. your freezy kisses did that
'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here.
T_T im just really hungry but this is making me emotional T_T
'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine.
thank you <3 T_T
'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though.
you dont have to watch the tiger series if you dont want to. i only shared it because i liked it and you shared something you like to me. i love the wolf video so much. i love nature. i love God. i love everything <3
AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though.
me HAHAAH
yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone
omg you like shadow and bone too <3 SLAY IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH S2
then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like???
i know you dont have tiktok but there is this tiktok creator that is think is like... from one of the stan countries, and she talked about what you just told me, or things like that. its really interesting to know there is a grishaverse! good for you hahahh you can understand the russian stuff/inspo cause youre russian <3
ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form??
i think slay i love that for them i didnt even know that but they totally did it for me <3 HAHAH
these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them).
i dont think i understand this anymore. AHHA i dont know enough about russian/russian names to get it AHHAH. maybe they did it for the aesthetic. are you watching season 1? or season 2? all i know is i was so sosoossosososo excited to see ben barnes my benny barnes who i keep having a crush on in every stage of my life. how dare he be so hot T_T
and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT
it makes me wonder if the original creator of this world, the author or the books, is russian. i just looked it up, apparently she is israelli-american interesting lol HAHAHAH
ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty).
jokes on your friend i love cliche stories. yum yum yum HAHAHH. you should have just told me my love. i love hearing your ideas, even though i have no intention to write them. i love you so much dont apologize for 'this outburst'
hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з
im going to eat then do homework <3 i hope you have a wonderful day <3 take care ok
xxx
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alright i puss in boots, i have a whole lot of feelings about it, so buckle up! This is gonna be long, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!
So im a very grand dreamworks fan, they where one of my main inspiration on why i want to become an animator, through my whole life, on 2020 i got incredibly hyperfixated on dreamworks as a studio (their history, production of their movies yadayada) that hyperfixation has followed me to beginnings of 2022 so im very god damn attached to this studio (cuz autism) so man i got so emotional when i saw the new intro i started tearing up aaaa, okay now onto the movie.
After the universal buy of dreamworks i was very fucking worried about the future of the animation studio, so much so that i really just accepted httyd 3 as their last movie, they went out with a bang i sated to myself, and i wasn't much more re-comforted when their first movie after the buy was abominable, is a nice movie yes! But it has that illumination-e feeling of being just a safe product (regarding its story, thr animation is fucking gorgeous) and then it came trolls world tour (sure was okay) the boss baby sequel, the croods 2 (i actually really liked this one it was very funny and creative!) Spirit untamed (what a sick joke! I mean the animation is pretty and all but ive always hated the spirit series bc of shiting all over the og movie, sorry im salty abt this one) But then! The bad guys came out!! And it was such a fun and creative and beautiful movie!! Having such an awesome art, so dynamic and cool the mix of 2d and 3d it was just so cool! and such a fun story and it was just soo good!!! And it gave me so much hope for the future of the studio!! Specially after seeing the trailer for the puss in boots movie!! Seeing that dreamworks is also taking this more experimental approach to animation made me sososo happy!! And yk i was going to watch puss in boots only for the animation before, i didnt really tough it would have much of a deep story i was contempt with just watching a silly goofy movie with beautiful animation!
And don't get me wrong the first puss in boots haves very good story and the emotional moments landed pretty well!! I just didn't think dreamworks would do that kind of stuff anymore (due to what they've been putting out lately being mainly funny silly movies [wich theres nothing wrong with!!]) BUT HOLY CHEESE N RISE!! Through this movie, if i wasn't tearing up about how cool and beautiful the animation and the fight scenes where, i was tearing up about gato's conflict with his fear of death and his relationship with kitty and fucking seeing gato's past life with shrek and donky and man im so emotional about this
And also the music it was soo good i absolutely adored the motif for the death and the little "dreamworks motif"™ at the end it was so beautiful
And the character design!!!! Omg it was soo good, DEATH HOLLY MOLLY DEATH he looked sooo goood it was so fucking scary and cool!!! And his weapon!!!!! And then theres the little dog he was soo cute, and the other guy that i forgot his name!! And goldi and the three bears!!!!
Speaking of which i also really fucking loved goldi and the three bears' acr and their interactions where absolutely delightful and nice!! And i really loved their ending
And perrito's and kitty's story, and the final confrontation of gato and death!!! And aaaa it was all so beautiful and awesome and cool and dazzling, and then the ending of perrito, kitty, and gato going to far far away, and the scene at the beginning of the first fight of gato and death!!! It was soooo sooo cool, the colors and the lightning IN GENERAL ALLL OF THE FIGHT SCENES WHERE SO AWESOME!!!
And man the little scene of gato remembering his mom giving him the boots, i was so nice guck i cant believe how attached im to these freacking characters
And like dude the colors where so vibrant and aaa this movie was just so beautiful!!! Im so happy and sad and im just a mess of emotions due to this movie it makes me so happy for the future of dreamworks animation, and mainstream animation in general, because and i cannot stress enough, animation is not a genera for kids, is an art form, just as versatile and beautiful as any other.
Anyways this movie was pretty epic probably my favorite from this decade with gillermo del toro's pinocchio and i for once, can't wait what the future will get us :]
#welp that was a whole lot of word vomit so sorry gamers autism won today aaa#this was just such a good movie :']#puss in boots the last wish spoilers#puss in boots the last wish#gh0ost txt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so fucking tired of life and I'm a 14 year old girl and it's 3am and I'm crying I probably suffer from depression, anxiety, adhd or autism or all but I can't tell my parents cuz dad's not gonna understand and he's not even there emotionally and mum's sick so I have to make my younger brothers sleep and she has so much more trauma and stress than me, and I'm scared they're gonna find this and I have to use a fake account and I've literally cried through whole car rides and they haven't noticed and I've got lines on my wrist and they haven't noticed and I'm not close friends with anyone and I have a lot of cousins but my comfort cousin doesn't talk to me when we all get together and I feel so awkward and it's so fucked up that I can vent to strangers but not my parents and nobodies probably ever gonna see this and I'm banned from social media but it's the only way I found out that they're probably toxic parents and I have to act as a therapist to both of them and put them in a bad light to each other so they can vent and I have so much trauma probably but yk there's so many people who have it worse and I'm up at this hour cuz it's the only time I get to just be myself and I think I'm a burnt out autistic so everything irritates me and I get sensory overload but I can't say anything cuz mum's so tired after today so I gotta smile and help her and I was a gifted child but now I'm homeschooling and probably failing and I don't even wanna do the things I used to love like reading and calligraphy and I have to force myself to watch series and I read fanfics to feel something and I go to the bathroom daily to cry but to the outside world I'm very strong and don't cry, and mum says I shouldn't bottle up my feelings but when I tell her about it she suddenly has it 10x worse, and Im having a sexuality crisis, I think I'm bi but probably not and I can't tell anyone about it, and I want a really tight hug but not from mom or dad, cuz dad and mom argue alot but others have it worse and oh shit what did I do now dad is mad he's not speaking to us moms having a hard day so she can just yell at us but Im not allowed to have bad moods and Im guilt tripped for having them, and I'm gaslighted on a daily basis and I just wanna move out of this hell hole so I can be more productive but my parents have my future planned out for me, and I have a bestie but she has another bestie, and I'm a people pleaser and my brother pushes me to my limits but I can't say anything cuz I'll get yelled at cuz I'm older and am responsible but I don't wanna fucking be responsible and Matilda by Harry styles is my theme song and I have a house but not a home and I'm not supposed to be using my tablet rn and also my dad's not financially stable so now I'm somehow feeling guilty for that also, and Im just an emotional punching bag but other people have it worse, and I'm tired of living but too scared to die and ik I'm fucked up cuz when I was 7 I hid in a closet to see if my parents would look for me and they didn't and i was sad and I get relieved when they're not at home and I can do my own thing but what if I'm faking it, and I basically raised myself and am now the co-parent and I don't even cry for normal things like death and sad songs, I've just become numb and I'm FUCKING TIRED OF BEING OKAY but mom needs me and so does my brothers so I have to be okay and I'm also fat according to my parents and they don't say it explicitly and somehow that hurts more, and Im a klutz and I'm the older one I need to set a good example and they're looking for an excuse to find the bad in me and I have to walk on eggshells around mom cuz what if she gets mad at me and I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED AT 18 but mom wants that so I smile and say okay and they're so FUCKING strict on me and my brother is definitely mom's fav and when I tell her she gets mad, when she's stressed out and I try to help her she yells at me and I feel uncomfy with my dad showing me affection and just my dad in general and I have to help my brother's when my parents are moody, but yea I'm okay and you? 🫠
0 notes
Text
Locker room Shenanigans // Kagami Taiga x Fem!Reader
MDNI 18+ knb kinktober entry!!
A/N: someone said "anything with kagami" and I love them for that bc that dude is so fiiiine I couldn't do a kinktober without writing about him yk 😫 it's 3.2k words bc I'm horny. Context: what can you, as a basketball team manager, do to cheer up your ace after a defeat? Warnings: Semi-public sex (in the locker room, people can hear them), riding, nipple play, unprotected sex, pussy eater kagami!, slight size kink (I couldn't help myself 😔✋🏽)
“Shit.”
Taiga’s harsh word is shortly followed by a loud clank! that echoes around the empty locker room. You sigh, still hesitating to get inside to look after your player.
He’s never really known loss since his high school days, ever growing to be one of the top players in Japan – if not the best player, which never fails to amaze people considering how extraordinary he already was as a teenager. Talent like that, and that you can say so with confidence from your years of career as team manager, is something incredible yet fragile. Of course, as a sportsman, he knows that you cannot always win. It doesn’t matter how insanely good you are, the game sometimes is nothing more than a product of luck. A mystery force driving the ball from one side to the other of the court, only to lead one team to the top, while the other falls from grace.
It does hurt to see the gut-wrenching look of defeat on the face of your players – you spend so much time with them that their feelings become yours, as if you are bonded by fate. But what really gets you, is seeing Taiga Kagami lose. The frustration written all over his face as he considers any mistake his; because after all, he’s the ace, the one that should carry the team to the top. But sometimes, it’s just not enough.
“Hey” your voice resonates in the empty lockers, forcing the tall man to throw a quick glance at you.
He’s silently slumped against the metallic doors, fingers fidgeting with the ring around his neck. It’s been at least fifteen minutes since the rest of the team has already left the gymnasium. Out of consideration for the red-haired player, you figured he might need some time alone. You’ve stayed behind, not willing to admit that you’re worried about him. Well, in all cases, what can you do? For all you know, he sees you as nothing more than his manager. Yet, you still sit next to him, your hand resting on the one that slumps on his knee. You give it a small squeeze, looking to be supportive.
“You know, I’m not even mad that we lost. I’m just... frustrated.”
You hum in agreement – it’s a fairly normal response to have after being through that kind of loss. The kind that feels like they could have been avoided, yet you can’t really pinpoint the moment things went to shit.
“While I agree that you should vent out that frustration, let’s not break the gym’s locker, yeah?” you chuckle softly.
“Sorry about that, I wasn’t thinkin – ”
“It’s fine, but if you’ll allow me, let me help you out here.”
He sighs, a slight scowl that you’d find cute overwise on his face. But this time, it is a clear expression of his thoughts, and you suddenly feel stupid for even thinking that there’s anything you can do to actually help him.
“I’m listening.”
He’s got nothing to lose, he thinks. He doesn’t expect you to change his mind, but at the very least do something – anything, really – just to make him forget about that daunting feeling for defeat, even if it’s just for a second. You’re taken by surprise, not expecting him to be willing to take any help, let alone from you. He must be truly in a bad state for him to agree to this, you ponder. The hand you had on his leaves as you scratch your cheek, in search for something to say.
“Ah... maybe you should vent it out? Like, in a better way.”
God, you’re a fucking disaster at giving advice.
“So, no punching around? Got it” he lets out, words laced in sarcasm.
You can’t help the small chuckle that leaves your lips – that’s just how lame your advice sounds. Well, you’re not wrong either. Whatever way he feels, wrecking the locker room can’t be the right way to cope.
“You know” you speak without much restraint on your thoughts, “I shouldn’t say that because I’m your manager, but getting shitfaced might help.”
He scoffs – ah, first time that you hear him laugh so far! A small fire warms your inside at the sound. You may not have realised so far, but nothing breaks your heart quite like seeing your players in despair, especially Taiga. What truly gets you is seeing a guy who is always so fired up and loud suddenly... quiet. Just a limp body full of brooding. So that scoff, however small it is, is enough to remind you how much he counts.
“Don’t we have a special training tomorrow?” he rests his head back against the lockers, a hint of a pout on his face.
“Then what do we have left? Alcohol’s out of the way, intense physical activity too...” you click your tongue. “And I really don’t see you do some meditation to feel better.”
“Yeah that breathing your feelings out bullshit is... well, bullshit.”
You laugh softly – that is such a Taiga thing to say. And to be fair, you might share his point of view on the topic. It might help letting out the breath you’ve been holding for too long, but any sort of meditation may, in this current situation, be just as efficient as putting a band-aid on a broken bone. You sigh, eyes falling on the furrow between his eyebrows. You lead your thumb to the crease, pulling the skin up. It’s a fairly childish move, one that makes him let out a semi-annoyed “ah!”.
“What do you do when you get frustrated?” he asks, swatting your finger away.
“Hm... I don’t often get frustrated like that. And if I do, it’s not in the same context.”
“I get that, we do not exactly have the same job here.” He hums, supporting his head in the palm of his hand. “Then what gets you frustrated?”
You stay silent for a minute, thinking. You do have a few things that gets you annoyed, leaving you feeling powerless because it’s out of your control, or just not that easily to solve. The small little things like slow walkers on busy streets, or when you try to teach basic decency to the shittiest guys. But really, nothing that comes as close as how Taiga must be feeling right now. And of course, there is the one thing that frustrates you the most, but that you probably shouldn’t bring up: your months-long period of celibacy.
You’re not proud to say that you haven’t had sex in so long that it sometimes eats at you in ways you wish it wouldn’t. And the worst is that you can’t really do anything about it. It’s not like you to have one-night stands with strangers, and for as much as you try to convince yourself that your fingers are enough, they’re clearly not. It doesn’t help either that you work with basketball players – tall, fine, muscular men who gets you going when seeing them show off their athleticism on the court. Although, to be fair, basketball players aren’t generally your type; but they’ve come to become, in your state of depravity.
But, of course, that’s not something you could say to Taiga Kagami. Especially not when he’s your player that turns you on the most. And yet...
“I get damn frustrated from not getting any” you blurt out.
You can’t tell what motivated you to say it out loud. Maybe because you wish that the embarrassment that comes with it will overshadow Taiga’s feeling of defeat? Because it sure is some kind of entertainment to make fun of your touch-starved self.
“Real” he responds.
You look at him briefly, surprised that he hasn’t laughed at you. You wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. Being a loser that cannot get fucked is not something that you are proud of, but if making fun of you is all it takes to put a smile on the ace’s face, you don’t mind (that much).
“What, like you don’t pull” you chuckle, incredulous, “don’t give me that.”
“It’s not that, it’s just that I don’t feel like having sex with just anybody” he shrugs, a ponderous filter in his eyes, “so I just kinda... wait for the right person to come. But damn, it’s atrocious.”
You laugh, and soon after, so does he. The sound travels straight to your heart, pulling on it with such might that you fear that he might tell already that you like him.
“Fuck, what am I talking about with my player?! Isn’t that a sexual harassment case in the making?”
The tall man chuckles, leg bumping with yours. You can’t say that you’ve cheered him up, but at the very least, he’s no longer sulking. You stop for a moment to observe the fatigue on his face, all this inner turmoil manifesting himself in his chapped lips, and the clench of his jaw, and the way you can tell that he’s been trying hard not to cry or look weak in any way.
“You might be onto something, though. Maybe a good fuck is what I need.”
“I cannot agree or deny.” You huff, a slight blush on your face. “Hope you find what you need for that.”
He hums, then lets out a long sigh. The gym is awfully silent, now that most players and most of the public is gone. You can hear the administrative staff outside the lockers, but there is some sense of peace right where you are, next to Taiga.
“Wanna go for a drink?” he suddenly ask, getting you to respond with a confused expression.
“What? Didn’t we agree that alcohol is out of the way? Not to mention that it’ll ruin your recup –”
“No, dummy” he punctuates his words with a small hit on your head, “I’m hitting on you.”
“Wh- where does that come from?!”
“You need to fuck, so do I. And I like you so I’m trying to be proactive... or something like that.”
You blink, not quite sure how to react to such an overflow of information. What should your brain start to analyse first, anyway? Should you focus on the reflection that led him to say something like that, figure out what kind of process is behind this conclusion? Or should you take in the new fact that he likes you? So much for you to take, and you don’t even realise when your finger went up to hook in the ring around his neck, or when you pulled him closer, and you can’t even tell what pushed you to kiss him.
Taiga is stunned, to say the least; but it seems that his reflexes aren’t only quick on the court, because his astonishment is only short-lived. By the time you register what’s going on, he’s got his hands on your cheek, holding you firmly, yet in a tender touch, as you taste his lips against him. The kiss is unusual, confusing. Wanted, yet not. His lips are soft, but his touch isn’t. You keep wanting more but you know you shouldn’t. It’s just too hard to stop, though, and the way your player grabs you makes you understand that you’ve started something that you can’t run away from. You pull away, panting, dazed by the feel of his touch on you. He looks like a dream, out of your reach despite his hands on your hips that hoist you up on his lap.
“Taiga...” you sigh, not sure of what you are pleading for.
“If you wanna stop, just tell me.”
You stay silent, watching his fingers pull on your top. It doesn’t even cross your mind to stop him. What is it, really? Is the frustration you’ve been feeling all this time from not getting fucked in so long? Or is it the attraction you’ve always felt for him, for once being expressed?
“Should we... they’re people outside. The door isn’t even locked!”
“I can keep quiet, can you?”
You stare at him, his challenging tone flipping a switching in your brain. You help him get you rid of your top, leaning in to give him a full-mouth, hearty, kiss.
“Bet. You gotta do a good job at keeping me quiet, too, though.”
He hums, soft lips trailing kisses down your neck to your collarbones, a certain urgency in the way it navigates on your skin on its way to your chest. You swallow your breath, feeling the warmth of his mouth on the sensitive skin of your breasts – your bra being a ridicule barrier between what you both want and the reality. He doesn’t bother removing your underwear, rather pushing the cups out of the way. You mumble a few swear words when he attaches his mouth to your nipples, his tongue and lips working languidly, almost as if he’s hiding malicious intents under his ministrations.
“Fuck, Taiga!” you grit your teeth, fingers intertwined in his hair as to pull him closer to your skin.
“Always wanted to do that,” he chuckles, letting go of your nipple in a wet pop! “every time I see you in your tight shirts, making me wonder if I’ll ever get to taste you.”
You laugh, flicking his forehead playfully. “Ah, so there’s some stuff other than basketball in that big head.”
He nods, lifting you up to sit on the bench. You let out a gasp, not expecting him to manoeuvrer your body with such ease. But at the same time, he is arguably one of the physically strongest players of the league – should you really be that surprised?
“Pants off, Manager. Gotta prep you nice if you’re gonna take me.”
“Cocky, aren’t you?”
He lifts an eyebrow, settling between your thighs.
“Huh? I’m not joking, that shit can tear you. It’s no use if I hurt you.”
You look at him, processing that piece of information. For the amount of time you spend in the lockers surrounded by half-naked men, you’ve learned not to look down there, out of decency. The last thing a team manager should be doing is staring at her players’ packages. But for some reason, you resign at not pushing your luck with Taiga. All things considered, he most likely has a massive cock.
You urgently let your pants and underwear slide down your thighs, pooling at your ankle as your dripping cunt presents itself to the player’s dark eyes. He swears, spreading your thighs enough for him to admire your needy hole – clenching desperately, and yet, he hasn’t done a thing.
“Well, might actually not need that much prepping” he ponders, letting his rough digits roam between your lips, spreading them open as your arousal coat his fingers. “You’re a bit greedy, aren’t you? Barely touched you.”
“Shut up, it’s been a while!”
“I know that much.”
His soft laughs reverb against the skin of your thighs, kisses and nips decorating them as he gets closer to your vulva. Oddly, the sight warms your heart – there is a certain beauty in seeing a man that was previously defeated now sporting an elated smile, and all that, thanks to your pussy.
An impatient, yet mind-boggling lick at your cunt, Taiga hums at the taste of your honey on his tongue. You let out a loud whimper, quickly covering your mouth when you consider the voices coming from the hall outside. It’s so hard to keep quiet when you have Taiga Kagami between your legs. His tongue is strong and agile, quite like him on the court, reaching the right places to make you squirm, almost sliding off the metal bench if it isn’t for his solid hold on your thighs. He’s a man starving, quenching his appetite in your oasis, taken by desperation, a greedy need to vent out all his troubles in your pussy.
“Fuck that, I wanna fuck you.” He groans, licking his lips.
“Not gonna make me come?”
He shakes his head, standing up to pull his sweats down, boxers stained by the bit of pre-cum he’s already leaking just from enjoying your body so far. You fuss, the loss of his tongue on your aching clit feels like a betrayal of the worst sort. The red-head lets out an amused huff – it’s somewhat cute, seeing his oh-so-serious manager losing her shit from how much she needs to get fucked. An amused smirk on his lips, he tugs your pouting ass on his lap; you gasp, the feeling of his bulge against your pussy making you realise that this is really happening.
“Wanna ride me instead?” he hums, manoeuvring with one hand to extirpate his cock from its confines. “See if I was really being cocky early, hm?”
You feel like a slut for being that eager, shamelessly grinding against him, not even hiding your impatience to feel him in. Hell, you don’t even care about how uncomfortable the metal feel under your knees as you straddle his lap – no, it’s all pointless compared to the god-sent feeling of his bulbous tip at your entrance, prying the doors open to make you curse like a sailor. You sink down on his dick, fingers gripping his shoulders with all your might. Have you been depraved for that long? Or does it feel heavenly to bounce on his cock because it might just be the best one you’ve ever had?
Your half-lidded eyes fall on his figure – he’s not even fully undressed, clothes dishevelled while his naked manager ride him like the most experienced whore. Curious ears catch winds of your moans, moans that Taiga tries as much as he can to swallow with his sloppy kisses, but he can’t even help himself. The grunts that leave his throat; feeling your walls clenching around his cock, forcing him to hold you by the waist to guide your movements to match his desperation.
“Holy fuck, you take me so well” he groans – no, it’s more of a raspy whine.
“Dick... so good!” you babble, in deep struggle to be coherent.
You may try as hard as you can to use your words to clarify the chaos in your mind, but you are no poet. Just the nicest manager on Earth, most certainly, letting her player deal with her frustration by pounding into her like a man depraved. Sex written all over your faces, you don’t bother to keep quiet anymore. The more he goes, the harder it gets. You roll your hips frantically, the knot in your stomach that you’ve missed for so long menacing to unravel.
“Ah! Shit sorry, I don’t think I can’t pull out of that pussy...” he pants, trying his best to delay his orgasm just so he doesn’t come too fast.
“Don’t!”
Your hurried answer makes him chuckle – he could never expect that from someone he thinks of as the personification of responsibility. But there’s no point in asking question or getting confused. He’s got one thing in mind, and that’s the fuck all of the frustration out of both your systems. Mind too busy with your body to think about his loss, about the daunting feeling of failure. Who fucking cares, when he has you?
“Shit!”
You mewl, clenching tight around him as you’re hit by the waves of your orgasm, triggering Taiga’s. He spills heavily, thick thighs trembling under you as he sloppily thrust all his cum in your voracious hole. He pants, head falling on your shoulder in solace.
No but seriously, can Taiga Kagami truly know defeat, when he’s never once failed at making a pretty girl come?
#yayyy! manage to only be 1 day late on schedule#so i wet a bit crazy with this one#it's kagami yk 🤭🤭#kagami taiga#kuroko no basuke#knb#knb smut#kagami smut#knb x reader#kagami x reader#knb kinktober
105 notes
·
View notes
Note
TRUE the crow dedication is so real….like bro really took his last name literally LOL
PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS>>> idk I just love exploring the different avenues and depths of friendship esp since I myself don’t like forcing romance upon anything rlly….also like some dynamics remind me of how I’d act with some close friends too like I’ve just never seen the need to ship or anything when you can have a perfectly developed and interesting relationship without having to be in love with someone yk I feel like it almost makes the dynamic and friendship even more meaningful sometimes
The second selection trio is GOLD I Lowk loved that trio and how they meshed together despite being such different ppl?? I also LOVED that arc for the Barou development bc omg someone who learns from their defeats and makes a better version of themself that’s actually so cool….
Otoya’s fit is SO on brand LMAO I feel like yukis has too many layers almost like just looking at it makes me sweat HAHA
Im ngl I feel like something looks a teensy bit off in that one colored art…maybe it’s because it’s fully buttoned or something? But I LOVE THE TURTLENECK TRENCHCOAT COMBO it’s like my fav outfit style ever and he looks SOOO GOOD IN THE MANGA!!! Ugh the turtleneck >>>> I have a friend who hates the turtleneck long coat combo and I’m like….bro…..where’s ur taste…. But fr I something about the clean mature looking style also just fits him so well too!!!
AOT LMAOOO what’s even funnier is (idk exact how accurate this is) but I heard rin was possibly inspired by two characters?? Eren and I forgot her name starts with an M I think….but apparently one of the authors was an assistant for aot I think so definitely fitting LOLLL
Ok and honestly the Hiori duality is also so fitting?? Like we see in the novel he’s a pretty open/relaxed chill little boy outside of his household and when he opens up to Karasu and the team but then BAM switch flips once he enters his home and I feel like the diff between white butterfly and fwtkac matches that so well…..I love a little angst sprinkled in sometimes too that kinda duality is just so good, just goes to show the depths a character can have!! I love it!!!
Trust me I will be EATING UP those hiori works too honestly being fed so well by all of your writing lately I’m so excited to read everything <333
The light novels are SO. FUNNY. cursed Nagi was actually hilarious and I remember first reading the Hiori one and the whole stalking thing was peak comedy like wdym you’re a 6 foot man trying to hide your near fluorescent blue hair under a baseball cap….I’ll never forget the line that’s like “he’s only ever done soccer his entire life…it’s only natural that he doesn’t know proper social etiquette” LMAOAOOO
I think recently my favs finally settled the was like swapping between Chigiri Nagi Rin and Karasu for a good while a couple months ago….i feel like new ppl don’t really ever my top five as much it’s just a matter of the ranking amongst them LOL
Also I love Otoya but I also LOVE Otoya slander HAHA I love making fun of him so bully him all you like LMAOOO
Nagi fr is just like a big koala bear….i remember being so shocked by his height at first but it honestly adds more to his charm LOL and definitely!! The parental neglect is kinda real for him too like…ppl take his “breakup” with Reo and run with it like are we reading the same thing….. the dark haired hot trope is too real like people just toss rin into that category throw in some Emo and call it a day like….i think especially the moment after the u20 match where rin looks at sae thinking he’ll be praised by him just kinda shows he’s just an emotional stunted boy with brother trauma like…..man…you’re so right about the fanon Rin being like aiku or Karasu though i do see a lot of like…smooth talker rin on here…..
TREADMILL yesss get those steps!! Chronically online gang rise tho LOLL but hey at least you’re being productive and active while online!!
-Karasu anon
he was assigned crow at birth and knew what he had to do from there 🫡 i’ve always wondered what his older sister looks like (apparently he had one according to the official egoist bible) i bet she’s sooo pretty but like. does she also do her hair in some weird vaguely-crow inspired way?? or does she think her little brother is a freak?? what abt the rest of his family?? LMAOAO questions we may never know the answers to…
even when writing romance i’ve noticed i’ll have one or two Kiss Scenes but for the most part i prefer showing love in other ways!! smth that’s always stuck with me is that if your characters need to kiss to prove to your readers that they’re in love, you didn’t do a good enough job writing their relationship. so personally even in my longest and most devastating love stories i hardly write Actual Romance!! i think the reason i don’t like shipping personally (again, full respect to anyone who does 💖) is because making the love between two characters explicit instead of implied often (to me) ruins the actual depth between them.
second selection trio is so so good!! and i agree barou’s development esp in the match vs reo kuni and chigiri was delightful to see. tbh when i first watched bllk i thought barou was a “baddie of the week” character who would only be relevant in the match against team x and then disappear entirely, so i was really excited to see him come back AND with a new and improved design (first selection barou kinda haunts me tbh why does he look like that…)
ohhhh i was talking abt the manga only!! i haven’t seen the colored illustrations but i agree the coat is a bit odd in them. i imagined it to be tan when i read the manga which i think fits him better than the bright blue but oh well it’s karasu he can pull anything off. he looked so cute in it in the manga!! when he took it off and went with just the turtleneck too…it really did give me such a lowkey but mature and elegant vibe!! like future businessman right there mr “if i randomly got 100 million yen i’d invest in index funds” bro is trying to be reo so bad DHSKSJSJ (speaking of which i do not fw reo’s fits he needs to hire a better personal stylist because some of those choices he makes are certainly. choices.)
HAHA yes i’ve seen that rin is supposed to be a blend of eren and mikasa!! i can def see it. i was heavily into aot back in 2021 though not much anymore actually which is why i immediately clocked the comparison!!
i know the karasu series is pretty fluffy and funny but i am actually first and foremost an angst lover!! i love writing absolutely heartbreaking stories they’re my favorite thing in the world. bllk is making me lose my edge though 😔 i need to get back to writing angst again…i think maybe i’m surprised by people being sad abt white butterfly because when i imagine angst it’s like death and inevitable ruin HAHAHHA but anyways i agree hiori def is a very layered character!! i’m excited to write more of him as well
oh my god the light novels are so sillyyyy 😭 when karasu made up an entire tragic backstory for himself just to mess w hiori??? he is so problematic i can’t even lie and the way hiori 100% believed him too had me bawling
OTOYA SLANDER 4 LIFE he is just so so easy to make fun of!! spoiler alert it’s actually not y/n who hates on him the most…let’s just say that our dear best friend who wants a boyfriend has major major beef w him (he is completely unaware of this ofc)
everyone says they’re surprised that nagi is so tall wdym!! he is sooo teddy bear i think him being huge makes sm sense!! he has such big fluffy lazy dog vibes too…yk the kind that thinks it can fit on your lap despite being the size of a small horse 😭 like THAT is nagi to me
i fear rin will never escape his fanon characterization 😔 but yes i think the teasing/sassy side that people give him is actually much more in line w karasu’s personality, and him being super smooth and flirty is way more aiku than anything!! rin has like one insult that he uses for everyone he is NOT a sarcasm god i’m afraid 😰 and according to the egoist bible he knows he’s unfriendly but thinks if people don’t like that abt him they shouldn’t interact with him!! in my mind the extent of his flirting would just be him going nonverbal and being like 🌎👄🌎 at you from across the room LSJDOWNDWJ hopefully you are a mind reader because otherwise you are never finding out he has a crush
YESSS unfortunately i do have to go to the gym quite frequently because alongside being chronically online i ride horses competitively and go to parties and whatnot so the body must be maintained 😔 HAHA it’s like a double life omg sometimes random guys will try to flirt w me when i’m out w my friends and in the back of my mind i’ll just be like “oh he has NO idea I write reader insert fanfiction on tumblr dot com” 😭 once i was at a party and i just took out my phone and started responding to comments on ao3 instead of dancing or talking because i thought the music sucked and it was way too loud 😓
0 notes