#it literally took me 5 min to find a design that i know will work 1000%. it has 5400 dv at a 1.4 starting twr. made of sex.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

ok i knew the dlc parts would make single stage tylo landers much easier but got DAMN. holy shit. they are really that much easier now

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Them Breaking You Out of Jail

Mafia!Au & Maknae Line

Summary: the boys are not happy when they find out that you, their girlfriend, was arrested and put into jail.

Warnings: mafia related stuff: guns, killing, mature themes (torture), split!jungkook that is basically a given with his insane personality, okay jungkook is insane in this mainly because of his love for you, ACAB is mentioned in this on all of the parts mainly in tae’s part but the term ‘acab’ is not said directly, a heated kissing scene in kook’s part, THE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE BOYS IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!!!.

W.C.:

Notes: I went overboard with jungook’s part that I feel like I kind of do all of the time with his part in these kinds of reactions. But, I hope you enjoooooyyyy!!

Hyung Line’s Part

Park Jimin:

You were sat twiddling your thumbs on the cold concrete floor of the jail cell that you were for unnecessary and unfair reason. Being the mafia leaders girlfriend who is hated by the law enforcement is not really the best thing in the world. The cops who hate Park Jimin are the ones who know that they are crooked and unfair, so they very stupidly try to make his life a living hell. Sometimes, you wonder if they know what exactly your can and will do to them, especially if they mess with you.

They thought it would be okay for them to make a scene at your work by arresting you for being a suspect for a shooting that had nothing to do with you or even your boyfriends gang. Shrugging your shoulders, you let out a heavy sigh, now deciding to retie both of your already tied shoes from boredom. What you did not know is that on the other side of the jail, your boyfriend has stormed into the jail, shooting the cops that were in his way, Jungkook behind him as an extra eye. Walking up to the front desk lady who was secretly a spy for his gang, he gave a smile as she threw him a key that was specifically for your cell.

“Thanks, Jisoo,” Jimin thanked before making his way to you, sighing at the armed men that were at a stand off with his gang. “Why can’t things ever be easy for once?” He groaned before signaling Jungkook was a nod of his head.

You did not hear any commotion or even footsteps that were making their way towards you. A familiar chuckle was what got your attention, looking up so quickly which cause you to get dizzy for a split second. “Jiminie!” You squealed excitedly, running towards the bars, grabbing onto them.

Pouting, “Did you not think that I was going to come for you? My heart,” he pressed his right hand to his heart in a dramatic manner.

Rolling your eyes, you smiled, “well, you took an hour too long to come and get me,” you teased which earned you an adorable laugh from your boyfriend.

“Well, my bad, princess. Namjoon was taking a shit as I got the call from Jackson that you had been arrested, and so Namjoon delayed us.” Your boyfriend spoke honestly, unlocking the cell door to let you out.

You tackled him into a deep kiss, heart fluttering like it always does when he wraps his arms around your waist to bring you in closer to him. “I know that you’ll always come for me, my knight in shining armor,” you said once you pulled away from the kiss.

“NOONA AND HYUNG SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S,” You jumped from the loud yelling of the two youngest. “On a serious note, Noona Jisoo said that the SWAT is on their way and will be here in like, I don’t know, .5 seconds,” Jungkook noted casually. A loud crashing noise was heard with a few cusses from Jimin’s hyung’s. “Looks like they are now here,” he said calmly, “I suggest we should get going, don’t you think?”

Kim Taehyung:

Kim Taehyung has always been a person who does not tolerate bullshit and people who have the train of thought of abusing their power just because they believe that they can. He knows that the law enforcement hates him because he basically does their job for them by getting rid of pests and keeps the streets clean. The hate that they have for him is from jealousy and pride. He knows that a few law enforcement people are actually grateful for him because of how Taehyung and his gang can actually figure out some cold cases and criminals that the law enforcement are trying to catch. Some cops and FBI members actually turn to Taehyung and his gang, mainly Min Yoongi the IT of the gang, for help when they cannot figure out a case even though their bosses are against it.

Anyways, the call that Taehyung had gotten from one of the officers that turns to Taehyung informing him that you had been arrested for going ‘over the speed limit’ with a suspension of you carrying marijuana on you really did not make his day. The officer, Yu Jong, gave details of which cell and area of the jail you were at that really went against his protocol, which Taehyung thanked him for, informing him that Jong and the other three officers who are for Taehyung that they needed get out of there as soon as possible because it will turn into a slaughter house. Dressing in his designer ripped jeans, a black shirt and his Gucci jacket, he grabbed his pistol and got the gang together, making their way to the jail.

You are having a glaring contest with the officer who arrested you, the distaste that you both have for one another is strong. “You’re honestly a piece of shit, you know that?” You commented calmly, knowing that your boyfriend could be showing up any minute now, so you are going to make the best of it.

“Don’t test me, bitch. I could make your life—”

“Make her life what?” Your boyfriend’s baritone voice boomed in the hallway, comforting you but mainly scaring the officer.

Smirking, you stood up cuffed hands resting against your lower stomach as you walked towards the bars, a calm look on your face. “Go on, don’t be shy now, say what you were going to say,” you said calmly, too calm for the officer.

Not saying anything due to being frozen in shock at the thought that Kim Taehyung is standing right behind him with his pistol aimed at his head with the safety off. Sighing, Taehyung rolled his eyes out of boredom, “You guys are literally all talk but cannot for the life of you actually say anything to my face, it’s pathetic really. Now, hand me the keys so I can take my innocent girlfriend home.”

Doing as he was told, you were out of the cell and in your boyfriend’s arms in no time. You knew that this was the cop who has been tormenting both you and Taehyung for years now, and you knew that Taehyung has had enough of it. So, wanting to spice things up, you whispered into your boyfriend’s ear, “He also called me a bitch, Tae.”

Smirking darkly at you, “oh did he now? What a shame,” Taehyung looked at the officer who was looking back at him with fear in his eyes, “what a real shame.”

Jeon Jungkook:

You love your boyfriend with all of your heart – you really do – but sometimes you get nervous with how … sadistic he can get with his job. You know that he loves the thrill he gets when he sees the fear in his victim’s eyes, you can tell that he gets off from it sometimes. Knowing him since you both were in diapers and been together exclusively since the age of fifteen, you are confident with confirming that you know your boyfriend like the back of your hand, and as he did you. But having been in the job since the age of seventeen, taking  over his dads position when he was murdered, Jungkook, you can now say that you do not know his business side like his gang. Namjoon once said that Jungkook turns into a completely different person, someone more sinister – and you do not want to know that side; not because of the fear of him hurting (something you know that would never happen) but because of wanting to stay out of whatever business he is in.

Jungkook has made it a mission of making sure that you would never get tied into his business, and made a promise to yourself that you somehow you did, he would make sure that whoever found out about you and dragged you in would never see the light of day ever again. So, receiving a phone call from Seokjin, telling him that the cops in Busan had arrested you as a pay back for ‘scaring them into submission’ and wanting to show that they will not back down, Jungkook automatically saw red. He knew that this would happen once the Sheriff, Kim Jung, stepped down, a good friend of his dads, actually. But Jungkook dreaded the thought of the son of the Jung, Kim Mark, would screw everything up, always having something against Jungkook since the two were kids without any reason. Jungkook had told Mr. Jung that even though they were almost like family, Jungkook will do whatever he would to a person that he ran into on the street – in short, killing them – and Jung sadly accepted that possible fate of his son.

And as you sat in jail cell that was being watched over by Mark himself, both of you hearing the gun shots and screaming of the officers in the room above. There was a feeling of relief of safety that you felt, but there was also a feeling of nervousness, almost fear, that you felt that came of the knowledge of seeing your Jungkookie in action – the side that you will meet. You came to accept that this may change your relationship dynamic, something that both you and Jungkook will have a very long talk and acceptance of whatever that means. To make things clear, you will never leave Jungkook over this, but you know that this is the beginning of being involved in his second life style – the lifestyle that Jungkook was trying to prevent you from of being involved in.

So, as you heard the deep, sadistic laugh that came from your boyfriend, you braced yourself. You watched his intimidating form walk in, his long black hair in a half up bun while the lower half of his hair touched his shoulders. His signature outfit which consisted of his black ripped skinny jeans, timberlands, and an oversized white shirt and his black leather jacket – you would be a liar if you said that he did not look hot as fuck. But the one thing that you did notice about him was the deranged look in his eyes that looked you straight in the eyes – noting the fear you felt.

“Now look at what you did, Marky, you scared my girlfriend, my Y/N. Now that is another thing that you will have to pay for.” He snarled, moving to the side so that Taehyung and Jimin restricted him, kicking the pointing gun out of his hands. Walking over to the cell door, Jungkook unlocked it, pulling you into him for a heated kiss. You allowed him to dominate you for that small moment, letting out a shaky breath as he pulled away. You knew that right now the man standing in front of you is not your Jungkook, it is someone different. Brushing the hairs that fell in front of your face, Jungkook smiled down at you lovingly, “There’s my beautiful princess. I’m sorry that Marky over there caused this mess, but I’ll make sure to clean it up for you, don’t want my princess to get into anymore messes now,” he chuckled a spine chilling laugh, one that shook you to the core. But what made you even more nervous for Marks life was when you were walking up the stairs to the main floor was the scream that came from Mark and the laughter of your boyfriend that soon followed after.

[resinatingbeauty]

Everything You Need To Know About UV Resin

I thought I would make this post because of how much Amazon pesters me to answer questions regarding UV resin and I know many of you were able to learn and benefit from my other craft posts which focused more on epoxy. Today I'm going to cover all the things I have learned using UV resin, which is something I use almost exclusively for many of the items you see in my Etsy shop.

What is UV resin?

UV resins are photochemicals that react to different wavelengths of UV (sunlight) to cure. This allows for a much shorter cure time and longer work time than epoxy resin, as UV resin will not begin to cure / harden until it is exposed to UV light. In the photos above, you can see the two main types/brands of UV resin I typically use for the creation of my projects, Solarez and Limino, both of which can be purchased on Amazon (Solarez has its own website, but shipping is not free though Amazon only has some of their products). While Solarez is known for surfboard creation and repair, boat repair, etc. It is one of the few UV resins that can be used to create larger projects such as these Fairy Garden Jars you see below.

Normally, however, UV resin is used for smaller projects - jewelry, coating, small casts, and the like. It is practically the same chemical combo found in UV nail polish. These chemicals may be triggered to harden using the same UV lamps one would see at a nail salon, though not all UV lamps or torches cover the full spectrum of UV wavelengths as sunlight (more on this later). I rely on UV resin for the creation of my popular rune sets, as they require more detail and time to fully create than the 30-45 minute work time one typically has with epoxy. Below are some examples of items I have in the shop made primarily with UV resin.

UV resins are typically non toxic and are not harmful to the environment when cured or uncured. The resin itself shares similar properties to epoxy but can have a much lower viscosity in general, making it more ideal for casting and coating than doming. UV resin does give off an odor when curing (Solarez is the WORST even when not curing), much more so than epoxy.

Pros & Cons of UV resin

Pros:

No mixing. UV resins are ready to go from the bottle.

Longer work time, shorter cure time. Great for making multiple projects at once or highly detailed, smaller projects. UV resin fully cures in approx 5 mins in full sunlight.

Great for clear casts and adding a glossy finish to any project.

Bonds to metal, wood, plastic, etc. Making it great for quick fixes.

Most are self degassing and self leveling.

Easier to handle. No component mixing means you can't possibly ruin your project from the get go.

Accepts most Inclusions / pigments one would use with epoxy

Waterproof when cured.

Cons:

Expensive. UV resin will average $65+ (for 1000g) USD for the equivalent of a 32oz epoxy combo for $20+. Solarez is on the cheaper side, but harder to work with.

Fickle. UV resin will produce bubbles that don't want to surface, must be used in very thin layers, prone to shrinkage, and cannot cure if using opaque or dense Inclusions or pigments.

Can only be used with clear silicone molds. Plastic molds tend to adhere / melt to UV resin. Solarez may be used with an MEKP catalyst to get around this, but not foolproof.

May only be used for small projects.

Must purchase UV lamp / torch to cure, but some only cure with certain wavelengths or sunlight itself. Can over cure and become brittle or undercure and be tacky.

Even clear but detailed molds may not cure correctly.

So, you may notice there are more cons than there are pros when it comes to UV resin. This is absolutely true- for cost effectiveness alone, unless you are looking to mass produce something or need more potability / work time for your project (as I do), I recommend avoiding UV resin and going with epoxy which will usually even yield better overall results.

If you DO decide to try UV resin or have tried UV resin, you may run into a few problems initially that will cause you to trash projects and become frustrated. Never curing resin is a popular complaint, this next portion of this post is entirely dedicated to troubleshooting UV resin in order to better help you achieve the results you are looking for.

Using & Troubleshooting

There are many different brands of UV Resin available. Save for Solarez, the ones that come in the big or small tubes like the Limino resin shown (I've used brands Miraclekoo, Decoroom, DIY, Let's Resin, Solarez, SooKoo, and Limino) are pretty much the same product selling for around the same price per milligram / fluid oz. They all have about the same viscosity and will generally yield the same results and have the same average cure time.

Note: Solarez is more of a polyester based resin or can be acrylic based depending on which of their products you purchase. It has a very strong odor and is more liquid than these others. It is also fairly cheaper (Almost half the price) and can be purchased in larger quantities. Unfortunately, even though the price tag is enticing, I really don't recommend it. It is very fickle with the UV wavelengths used to cure it. If you are trying to do any indoor project using a UV torch or lamp, you are going to want to even then drop an extra $20-$60 on a multi spectrum UV lamp to cure your project. You will find that you have to intermittently expose the resin to light or it gets an orange peel/puckered texture- sometimes the light will even literally burn right through your project. It can even burn or damage your mold, as Solarez gets very hot when curing even though it is formulated to not get as hot or combust when using UV light to cure, which is something, I guess.

However, Solarez can be used with an MEKP catalyst, allowing you to dual cure it using sunlight / UV light. This allows Solarez to be used with opaque pigments and can be used for larger projects. The catalyst was not initially included with the resin, but the manufacturer began including it for some reason. The ratio is 6 drops of MEKP mixed into 1 fluid ounce of Solarez. 6:1. With the MEKP catalyst, your project will fully cure in 30 mins (using sunlight or UV light to help it along) but it is prone to becoming overheated, still requiring small layers to be cured one at a time to avoid combustion.

If you're going to try UV resin, I recommend trying any of the brands above, save for Solarez. Grab a 50-120g bottle to try and see if you like it. I recommend beginning making something simple like a pendant or earrings using a clear silicone mold or open back bezel. Mica pigments and most alcohol inks will work with UV resin the same way they work with epoxy and UV resin also creates a super clear glossy finish that may be used to gloss and spruce up cured epoxy projects.

So you took the dive and purchased your UV resin? You've got problems? Yea, tell me about it.

•My Project is Super Tacky! What do?

This is common and will vary from product to product, but usually isn't the product. So before you go flaming the foreign manufacturer who doesn't understand you anyway, ask yourself the following and try these methods to solve the inevitable tacky problem:

How long did you cure? The average cure time shown on the bottle is just that, an average. This doesn't mean that your project will cure in five minutes under your UV lamp. Not all UV lamps are made equal. For starters, check the packaging, but most UV resins require your lamp to be 36w+, so write that off immediately. If your lamp is producing less wattage, than it's not going to cure your UV resin. If you're using a lamp that is 36w+ or your UV resin claims to cure under 36w, then take a look at your lamp itself. Most nail salon UV lamps are either table shaped or dome/cave shaped. If you're using a table shaped lamp on a 3D mold / project, the light is unable to penetrate the sides and back of the mold. This style lamp will only work to cure projects in open back bezels or free hand, flat coatings. If using a dome shaped lamp then the majority of the UV light is found at the back of the lamp. If you have your project at the front or sides, it is unable to be fully penetrated by UV light at all angles.

Try turning your project,curing it for a minimum of 5 minutes on each side. Using finger cots, remove your project and let it cure free form. It shouldn't be so tacky that it sticks to your work area at this point, but if it is, then there is only one solution:

Let it cure in actual sunlight for 10-20 minutes, turning it so that every angle sees light. Typically, your UV lamp doesn't offer the same UV light wavelengths as pure sunlight, and you can buy new lamps or torches to test, but sunlight is free.

If your project is still tacky after all these measures, you've tried adding a new layer of clear resin to it and allowing it to cure in sunlight.

If this doesn't work, think about your Inclusions, your glitter, your pigments etc. If your project is nearly opaque, then you'll need to tone it down if you're going to use UV resin.

If NOTHING else, your product may indeed be a dud or became contaminated in some way. Unfortunately, it's not always easy to get in touch with the manufacturer, but if you order your product from Amazon, they'll more than likely allow you to return it.

My project is all bubbly? What do?

Bubbles are always a problem, whether you're using UV resin or epoxy. Little tiny bubbles always form, especially around the edges of the mold or embedded within details in the design. Don't forget, you have infinite work time with UV resin. This means that you have as long as you want to work out the bubbles.

Use a toothpick to pop tiny bubbles at the bottom of the mold or dislodge them to bring to the surface. Be careful though because you don't want to leave little scratches on your mold or puncture it.

Use a torch to pop bubbles on the surface. A grill lighter, regular lighter, or whatever will do the trick. Make sure you hold the flame a good inch or so away from the surface. It will catch fire and your mold possibly will too. Do so carefully! I run the torch across the top layer every time I add something to the resin to remove any bubbles it gives off. This also works for epoxy.

Blow on it. Some people claim the heat of your breath will pop surface bubbles, but I have had no success with this method.

Warm your resin. Stick your UV resin in a plastic bag or something air tight. Allow some water to heat to near boiling on the stove before pouring it over your resin bottle in a bowl or basin. Do not stick your resin in the microwave or oven or anything crazy.

Stir slowly. Stir inclusions like glitter and pigments slowly, scraping the sides and bottom. This will prevent air bubbles kicking up into your mix and oxygen being introduced into your pour.

Try pigments. For some weird reason (most likely due to changes in viscosity), resin projects with pigments, glitter, and the like have less tendency toward bubbling than clear casts.

Are your bubbles huge? This may be because your pouring super thick layers of resin and all sides have not cured properly. Your layers should only be 1mm thickness maximum when using UV resin.

My project has come out warped, not even, has divots , etc.

If you are curing your layers quickly, your project is heating. When you add more resin over top of this hot resin in a hot mold, this will not only cause more bubbles but also lend to shrinkage. Allow your project to cool to room temp and have some downtime between curing. This will also protect your molds that will become damaged from overuse / overheating and cooling.

With Solarez, this is key to having a beautiful project at the end of the day. Even though it is formulated to not overheat if exposed to sunlight, Solarez will get this orange peel like texture on the surface layer if overexposed.

Yes, there is such thing as overcuring as well, and it will make your project brittle and even flakey, but this is normally not the biggest complaint with UV resin.

So why even buy UV resin?

UV resin has its perks. In a pinch, it makes for a clear, glossy finish that will cure / harden quickly in the sun or with a UV lamp that one would be waiting 24-48 hours for with epoxy. It can be used to repair epoxy projects and fill small divots as well as the ability to bond to pretty much anything makes it useful to have around. It is convenient to use due to the fact that you don't have to mix it, it is easy to pour and compatible with most inclusions. It is also ideal for its extended work time as it will not cure until exposed to UV light. This allows you to create highly detailed clear cast jewelry and other projects you wouldn't be able to assemble and detail before epoxy would begin to cure.

I hope this helps everyone who is having trouble with UV resins or those who have considered using UV resin as an alternative to epoxy. If you have any other questions you would like answered or are someone adept with UV resin that would like to share, please do so! Good luck!

~Samantha

Owner/ Designer/Creator blursedbaubles.etsy.com

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[lizeng]

How to Learn in the Modern World

Recently, I took a Coursera course "Learn How to Learn", read Scott Young's Ultra-Learning and completed Carol Dweck's Mindset. All these learnings boiled down to the "growth mindset", and how anything can be learned through time if there's enough motivation, methods and devotion.

It is vital to learn at any age as it grows oneself and keeps one up with the world. However, learning in a digital age can be challenging because distractions are everywhere. It takes a lot of self drive and discipline to learn something, not mentioning to master a skill by oneself. But what are the effective ways of learning in the modern world?

Self-learning is key

Information is available a click away. Anything can be learned and searched on the internet nowadays. Instead of traditional classroom settings, learning in the modern days requires a lot of self learning and drives from the learners themselves. The more we rely on ourselves to make progress, the better we will learn. This is true for adult and also for kids who are trying to master a certain skills. The drive has to come from the learner, otherwise all time spend can lead to poor learning results. I know friends or parents who rely on teachers when it comes to learning. A school or a program can provide the right structure for a specific topic, but they cannot cover everything in that topic. Self-learning helps learners to explore deep without the limitation on a specific frame. The frame is set by the learners themselves based on their need.

Clear goals and outcome

I am a motivated learner and I take every opportunity to listen to audio books or podcasts I love. However, without a clear goal or plan, all those learning can be random and won't yield any solid result. Through this learning projects on "how to learn", I find that setting clear goals and outcomes are vital to achieve learning results. There is the "10,000h rules" for mastering a skill, but purely counting on practice hours can be very tedious and not so fulfilling. The author of Ultra-learning Scott Young, defined his "MIT challenge" as an end goal and was able to complete the online MIT computer science program within one year. The same goes with many ultra-learners, the goal or outcome can be the motivation that drives them forward. That being said, annual or monthly projects can also be great ways to segment specific learning topics and create solid outcomes.

Focus is the pathway

The problem we have in modern days are distractions. With TV, computer, ipad, and mobile phone, Youtube, social media and internet is just one tap away. It is so easy to get lost in the mindless scrolling zone and feel excited to want more. Getting focused means we can avoid distractions and control our time the way we wanted to. We have to be alert not to let our device control our mind, and we need to set specific time for learning. I am a very focused person once I am in the flow, but I have a hard time getting into the tasks initially. A show or a video can lead to endless exploration if I don't watch my time carefully. So self-control of not turning on the TV or Youtube is the first step getting into focus mode.

Learning by teaching

The best way to learn is to teach. I definitely know this very well since I used to teach. There are many topics I learned on the fly and had to teach the next day in classroom. I still remember when I had to teach a design history class, I literally spend the whole break to prepare my materials. I practice 2-3 times before I enter the classroom, making sure that I can answer any questions the students come up. It helped me learn the history of design tremendously! With that in mind, it's important to frame the learning outcomes into some sort of presentation that can be shared to an audience. Even by writing a blog article can help transfer the knowledge we learned into our own words, thus enhance our learning results.

Through the exploration on learning this month, I was also reminded to things I have applied during my school year. The following learning methods worked great for me either on learning art or language.

Everyday practice is essential

My first art teacher told me "drawing every 10min is better than drawing 2hours per week". I applied that into my process of learning art and English. My progress was very obvious after practicing everyday for a whole one semester. Now looking back, I know the power of everyday learning. The magic of absorbing and transferring knowledge will work itself out when we rest and sleep (aka diffuse mode).

Rest and working out helps learning

As a Chinese student, I experienced 12+ learnings hours everyday in high school. Many parents even rented house right next to school, so their children can walk to school within 5 min. My home was 30+ min away biking from school. At that time it was an inconvenient distance for me because I lose 1 hour of study time in comparison to other classmates. Now looking back, I know how that 1 hour of biking everyday helped me tremendously to stay physically and mentally healthy. Sleeping, resting and working out does help learning. Our brain really need that diffuse time to absorb and work the problem out.

Time spent doesn't equal to what you learned

Many inefficient learning involves spending lots of time, but yield no significant results. As a matter of fact, highlighting books or taking notes can be a disguise to our brain that we are actually learning something. Despite how much time we spent and thinking that we know something already, if we don't test ourselves and recall what's been learned, everything we just learned can easily slip away. From my experience, I know that I spend lots of time taking courses, but I dislike the test or exam part. However, if we don't face the uncomfortable feeling when it comes to learning, things we learn won't last that long.

Besides the things that I already knew and applied, I also learned several important things that can help me in my future learning projects. The following are the new things I learned about learning:

Define learning goals - monthly theme, weekly goals etc

Spend 20% of the learning time on looking for resources, methods and frame learning

Make focus time, take notes and test often about the knowledge point

Direct learning with projects, get real feedbacks from presentation, teaching and writing.

Learning in chunks, solve one part of the problem at a time, and eventually things will connect itself

The only way to beat procrastinate is to get started (even just for 25min) 

Face the area that doesn't make you comfortable, deal with difficult feelings

Find the right medium to learn

Digital Courses (Coursera, Udemy, Lynda.com, Treehouse, Skill Share)

Books/ Audio Books

Web Articles / Blogs

Twitter / Youtube

Talk to experts

From this project about learning, I have refreshed my eyes and mind on self-improvement. Every month from now on, I hope to define a specific topic that I want to explore, and I will focus on the topic when I read books, browse the web and watch videos. At the end of the month, I will write a blog article or build a presentation that I can share with someone. This is the plan for a brand new 2021. We will see how it goes!

[natural-namjoon]

Silver Millennium Ch 1

Previous Chapter

His hands. They felt warm, really warm...actually they were pretty close to burning at this point.  Yoongi looked down and noticed that they were... Glowing? The logical part of his brain told him this wasn't supposed to be happening but the other part felt fuzzy. Everything was soft and warm and if he had to put it into words he would have described himself as a soft little cloud floating in a bright daytime sky, weird but he was enjoying himself. The soft silver glow that was around his hands seemed to melt all around him. He couldn't see himself but he knew he was bathed in it. This pretty, soft, silver light. So comforting, so warm….

“YOONGI!” 

It was as if someone threw ice water on him. His joints locked and his muscles tensed. His heartbeat took off in a sprint and he was suddenly achingly aware of his own body and the space it occupied. He looked around but all he saw was white. He was floating in a white room, but it wasn't a room, it was just a vast colorless expanse.

“YOONGII!!” he heard the voice again… what was it saying? Yoongi? He knew it was his name but it sounded so unfamiliar to him. The voice called his name again and that's when the aching in his chest started. Dull at first but the more Yoongi tried to pinpoint the voice, it grew stronger. A tearing, painful ache that caused him to double over. He wanted it to stop. He knew who the voice belonged to and he needed to find them, once he did that the aching would stop. He didn't ponder much on why he knew that as a fact, he just needed to do it. With a huge gulp of air, he reared back and cupped his hands around his mouth, and with all his strength he hoped his call would reach the familiar yet unknown person, with one last prayer he let it all out and he shouted their name ********

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Yoongi jerked so violently it caused him to sit all the way up-right in bed. He looked around confused. For a moment he really didn't know where he was or who he was. The fog of confusion drifted slowly away as he was able to get his bearings. He was in his bedroom, in his tiny loft apartment in Seoul. Oh yeah, and it was also the first day of University. That also explained the blaring alarm that was coming from his left night-table. He groaned and reached over to smack the clock into silence. He sat for a moment trying to shake off the heavy feeling his dream had left him with. It was an extremely weird dream, no doubt, but it wasn’t one he hadn't had before. He had been having dreams like that for as long as he can remember. First, they started coming few and far in between and as he aged they occurred more and more often. Since moving to Seoul they actually have been happening almost every other night. They weren't scary per se, just alarming. He always woke with a strong sense of urgency and longing, but at this point, it wasn't something he wasn't used to. The content of the dream was always pretty similar, though the setting would shuffle between white space, a garden, a hall with marble pillars, a rose bush maze, and sometimes his favorite- on a grand balcony overlooking a bright bustling city with white shiny buildings. In all the dreams, though, he always started off alone, bathed in warm silver light, and it was that voice that always grabbed him. It was like hearing the voice of a long lost friend or relative. He knew the voice, he felt it deep in his soul, that voice belonged to someone dear, and he knew who it was, but every time he was ready to shout the person's name he always awoke. It was frustrating, to say the least.

 He remembers telling his mom about the dream and she has decided to take him to a Doctor and when Yoongi was deemed fit as a fiddle with no neurological or mental issues, she had taken him to a psychic who specialized in dream interpretation. She told him that the person calling his name was his own inner demon who was put there by some jealous relatives and if they paid her extra she could exercise the demon. Needless to say, she was scamming them to high heaven. In the end, Yoongi was forced to accept these odd dreams as an almost everyday norm in his life. Not that he was complaining, he could have been some unlucky bastard who dreamt of terrible, horrific things every day. Now that, he wouldn't be able to handle on account of his inability to sit through a scary movie without noping out of the theatre or living room.

Shaking off the heavy feelings he lazily climbed out of bed, he grabbed his phone and headed to the kitchen to turn on his coffee maker. He had felt odd buying the thing at first. He had always thought that only old people had a full pot coffee maker, but it was cheaper than those flashy one cup coffee espresso machines like everyone his age was so keen about owning. In the end, he felt like it was a better deal because he came with a warmer that he could leave on all day and the result was a nice hot pot of coffee when he came home, yeah grandpa Yoongi was winning the millennial game. 

As he set the machine to brew he checked his phone and was happily surprised to see a text from his little Sister, Chae Rin, wishing him good luck on his first day. She was five years younger than him and in her 2nd year of high school. He and Chaerin actually got along well and he always thought of them as closer than the usual brother-sister pair. He loved composing and she loved singing. Through their mutual love in music, they became the best of friends.

He texted her a quick ‘thanks Chae, give mom a big hug for me’ then he set off to get ready for classes. Once finished, he filled up a to-go cup of coffee and grabbed his plain black Jansport bag and headed out. He walked out to the attached parking garage that his apartment building had and took the elevator to the 2nd level, he counted himself lucky that he had a car. A lot of kids his age always relied on public transport, and even though public transport would probably be cheaper, he treasured his car because he was gifted his Dad's old car once he had gotten his license,  He stepped off the elevator and was met by his baby, a light grey 1994 Buick Skylark. It was an old car, literally as old as him but it still worked and he loved it. He hopped in and started her up, as usual, the engine stalled but after some sweet encouraging words and a few pumps of the gas he got it started. 

He found his way to campus relatively easy, having only lived a mile from the school. He found the designated parking for students and hesitantly made his way to go find his first class. Yoongi had always known what he wanted to do and it was produce music. He has always had a passion for writing and creating music and that's what lead him to enroll for a degree in music production and composition. He knew he'd have to take a lot of music theory classes, a lot of writing and reading classes and maybe some computer classes and history but never had he expected to be taking math and science classes. He was going to work with music, why did he need to know that the mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell?? He grumbled annoyed at himself as he scanned the campus map to find the building that his first-class was in, which was Beginning Biochemistry. After about 5 min he was still very lost, the map was way too simply designed so he couldn't figure out where he was in regard to the map, therefore, he couldn't figure out where he needed to go. What also did not help was that none of the buildings had signs on them indicating what building was which, What school did that? He thought. He was now royally frustrated so he just started walking deeper into the campus, hoping to go by building shape to find the building he needed. 

At this point he was storming past people, intensely scanning the surrounding buildings and then the map, unfortunately, he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and he ran into a brick wall that knocked him on his rear end, well what he thought was a wall, until the wall yelped as it lost balance and dropped a couple of heavy-looking textbooks, It was another dude. Yoongi felt immediate embarrassment, he looked over at the other guy on the ground across from him, the dude was big, much bigger than Yoongi, which kinda wasn’t saying much since Yoongi was a smaller average man, but this dude was tall, Yoongi could tell he was legs and arms for days and he had a massive frame. 

The guy was quickly trying to gather his impressive mountain of textbooks and notebooks. Yoongi snapped out of his embarrassed trance and quickly jumped to help the guy, 

“Hey man, sorry about that, I should have been looking where I was going…” Yoongi said, tentatively handing the guy a notebook.

 The big guy looked over at him and that's when Yoongi first got a good look at his face, he had soft eyes with very full lips and a small button nose, he was handsome as hell, except for the piercing gaze that was being sent his way, Yoongi thought for sure that the guy was going to lay into him. Yoongi wouldn't consider himself a scrappy guy but he has been known to stand up for himself on more than one occasion during his primary school years, so he wasn't above fighting right there but he really wasn't up for it on the first day of school. Instead of yelling or reacting in any negative way the taller guy just sighed and in a deep smooth voice, he responded quietly

“It's fine man, I should've been paying better attention myself” 

With all his items gathered he stood and yeah Yoongi had been right, the guy stood really tall, he seemed to be a good 8 inches taller than him, with a wide frame and thick arms and legs, Yoongi thought maybe this guy played sports, probably basketball which he hoped was the case, Yoongi loved basketball and used to play competitively in high school. 

“Dang man your pretty built, you play hoops?” Yoongi tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, the guy then surprised him by… giggling? Yoongi looked up at him confused.

“ Sorry its funny, I've actually never really played any kind of sport in my entire life” tall,  deep voice said

“ WHAT?! Then why are you built like a tank man??” he said incredulously

“ My first priorities are always my academics but what's the point of being smart if I can't keep my body alive long enough to reap the rewards of my success? I just work out a lot in my spare time is all, just so I stay in tip-top shape” the deep voice explained, “Ah sorry where are my manners, my Name is Namjoon, Kim Namjoon, and you are?” Namjoon extended his hand over to Yoongi. 

Yoongi shook it, he had to admit that he was impressed by Namjoon, Tall, Well built, smart, nice and good looking, he didn't realize people like him existed, he was impressed yet felt significantly inferior. 

“ Wow, it's nice to meet you, I’m Min Yoongi. Sorry again about bumping into you, I was just looking at the map, Today is my first day and I’m just kind of scrambling trying to find my first class but this damn school doesn't seem to believe in labeling the buildings for us slower folks,” Yoongi complained and Namjoon chuckled. 

“It’s ok, I was confused too but after a closer look, I figured out the buildings are actually numbered on small signs by the doors. Kind of counter-intuitive because they made the maps so simplistic.” Namjoon explained, Yoongi just stood surprised and honestly ticked off

“ Well that’s fucking stupid” he stated bluntly.

Namjoon laughed again and then held out his hand, If you don't mind me looking at your schedule then I can maybe point out each building that your classes are in, maybe then we can avoid you being late” he smiled softly and Two cute dimples popped out on his cheeks

Yoongi just nodded excitedly and passed Namjoon his Schedule with relief. After scanning the classes and their corresponding class numbers, Namjoon made a surprised noise.

“ Well I guess fate has intervened, cause I have 3 of the same classes as you and our first one happens to both be beginning biochemistry” Namjoons dimpled smile got wider as he handed Yoongi his schedule back. Yoongi felt his jaw drop

“ No freaking way, that’s crazy! Well, I guess it's a good thing I face-planted into you” he laughed feeling genuinely lucky for the first time that day.

“ Come on, let's head over to class so we’re not late, I know where it is” Namjoon broke into a long stride heading towards a nearby building

“ Lead the way friend” Yoongi tried to hurry and match his big steps.

Once in class, they opted into sitting next to each other having formed this sudden friendship out of nowhere. As class when on during free moments they would talk and he learned That Najoon wanted to become a teacher and he was currently leaning towards literature teacher since Namjoon had a passion for writing. As he sat and learned more about his new friend Yoongi couldn't help but feel like he was meant to be here, his choice of leaving home and going to a big fancy college wasn't in vain, it felt right and he was actually pretty confident more good things were to come his way. He let that warm happy feeling sink in and radiate as he laughed and chatted.

………………………………

The day went on pretty successfully, the next class Yoongi had with Namjoon, so it felt nice to just follow his new friend around. His second class of the day he had Literature, easy enough. Again he sat next to Namjoon and again he felt at ease and comforted to have someone on his side on his first day. No awkward seating, no weird forced partnerships by the professor. It was awesome and he didn't know what it was about Namjoon but he radiated such a calming and trusting aura. Yoongi loved it and he was drawn to it, which made it that much harder to leave him once Literature was over. Yoongi's next class was music theory and Namjoon had a foreign language class. So after pointing Yoongi in the right direction and promising to meet up with him for their history class later in the day, Namjoon was off and Yoongi was alone again. 

With a dramatic sigh, Yoongi made his way over to his Music theory class. Once he found the correct classroom he grabbed a seat towards the back. He felt somewhat chagrined that he didn’t have anyone he knew in this class but he was also kind of ok with it. He had a feeling he would be too wrapped up in the course material to make many friends. Music was in his soul so he wanted to absorb anything he could in regards to it. 

One by one, students filed into the classroom and soon class began, his professor was an older lady, she was sweet and very wise, she was classically trained in over 10 instruments and she definitely had a passion for music. Yoongi loved her and he knew he was going to love the class. The professor was in the middle of telling a charming story about the time she took a trip to Italy and learned how to play the oboe from an elderly man who lived in a hut, she had all her students chuckling and the vibe was light and fun when all of the sudden the loud metal door to the classroom swung open.  Yoongi looked up and in walked the prettiest person he has probably ever seen. He was young, probably a student, and he was gorgeous, slim and small with muscled thighs and legs under black skinny jeans, he had a ripped band shirt on under a red velvet bomber jacket, he had on one sparkly dangly earring and a silver choker. His Hair was also the shiniest golden blond and styled longer with a clean undercut, he was breathtaking.  The pretty boy stood in the doorway and looked around, taking in the room, everyone just stared at him. A sly smile broke on the guys’ plump juicy lips which looked like they were covered in gloss.

 After a moment the teacher finally spoke up,

“ Excuse me? Can I help you?” she chirped, 

the guy giggled and it was high pitched and almost melodic.

“ Yeah uh, is this music theory?” the guy asked his voice smooth and pleasing to the ears, not deep but not too high pitched. The Professor gave a curt huff and got up to check the class roster.

“Jimin? Park Jimin?” she asked, reading the only name that was marked absent during roll call. The guy pointed at her and smiled that gorgeous smile again.

“ That’s me, sorry I’m late, I slept in a little too long, haha whoops” Jimin giggled again like he found the whole situation hilarious.

“ Whatever just please find a seat Mr. Park, you’ve disrupted the class enough already.” the professor looked completely done. With another small giggle, Jimin took a look around the room and Yoongi, having found the boy intimidating and incredibly attractive, prayed he sat somewhere far from him, he didn’t want any distractions. Almost as if he could read Yoongi’s thoughts, Jimin, zeroed in on a seat next to Yoongi and practically skipped over to him. Yoongi had hoped he didn’t look as alarmed as he felt. Jimin took the seat and immediately turned towards Yoongi, face beautiful and expressionless as he stared him down. Yoongi fought the urge to writhe in his seat, he wanted to snap at the guy and demand what the hell he was looking at, but he wasn’t the confrontational type so instead, he held his hand out and said quietly,  “ Hello, I’m Min Yoongi, nice to meet you.” 

after a beat Jimin broke into the biggest smile Yoongi had ever seen, his smile so big his eyes became slits and his perfect pearly white teeth gleamed at him. Jimin reached out and grabbed Yoongi’s hand and just held it. 

“ Oh my god it’s so nice to meet you too, I’m  Park Jimin but you can call me Jimin or Jiminie or whatever you like. Your so cute, let’s be friends!” 

And just like that Jimin turned back towards the front of the class and that was that. Yoongi had never felt so confused in his life. 

The rest of the class went off without a problem and Jimin didn’t say anything else to Yoongi, It was strange but Yoongi didn’t mind. Once class was over Yoongi stood up practically starving, he had a free period, so that means he had about an hour to kill before his history class with Namjoon, Yoongi decided to grab something at the campus cafe. As he gathered his things Jimin turned and looked at him expectantly. Yoongi stood in a permanent state of confusion, Jimin giggled again softly, finding Yoongi’s awkwardness adorable, 

“Sorry I just kind of expected you to say something, I was just wondering what class you had next, maybe we could walk together,”  He explained giving Yoongi a softer smile. 

Yoongi, on the other hand, felt so confused, How did he just make a friend just like that, he hasn’t even decided if he liked Jimin or not. After a moment he decided that even if he turned out not liking the guy at least he would be alone before meeting up with Namjoon.

“Um next class actually I have a free period after this, then in about an hour I got-”

“NO FREEKING WAY!” Jimin screeched grabbing Yoongi’s hands, “I have a free period right now too! do you want to hang out until your next class?” for the first time that day Yoongi smiled back at Jimin, 

“ Sure thing, I was actually going to head to the cafe to grab something to eat, care to join me?” He asked and Jimin just nodded excitedly. Both boys gathered their things and headed out of the now-empty classroom together, they made their way across campus to the Campus Cafe which was an extension from the library. Once there Yoongi ordered a roast beef sandwich with some fries and a soda Jimin ordered a berry almond salad and milk tea with boba. They both agreed on sitting in the courtyard at one of the picnic benches in the shade as it was a really nice day out, one they sat down they didn’t say much and just started eating, Yoongi was unsure how to strike up a conversation with Jimin, they hadn’t said much to each other after leaving class and even stood quietly next to each other in line for food not saying anything. He was hoping Jimin wasn’t feeling too awkward, at least not as much as he was feeling. Yoongi took a sip of his soda still wracking his brain for something that could start a decent conversation with his new “friend” when Jimin suddenly looked up from his food and looked straight at Yoongi,

“I intimidate you, don’t I?” He asked bluntly.

Yoongi literally spit out his drink, Jimin giggled,

“I- uh- um what do you mean I’m not-” Yoongi stuttered trying to not sound like a fucking dork and Jimin just smiled at him

“It’s ok, it happens a lot- and I don’t mean that in a cocky way i just… I know I come off as a lot, its hard for people to vibe with me because of it,” he explained, Yoongi nodded cleaning up the soda he had spit all over himself. 

“it’s not so much that I don’t vibe, I actually think it’s pretty cool that you came up to me, I’m not very good at making friends so people who take initiative first really make my life easier so thank you,” he smiled at Jimin hoping his sincerity came through strong enough. 

Jimin stared at him for a bit, Jimin liked Yoongi, he didn’t know why but he felt in his heart that Yoongi was a good person and was going to make a good friend. Finally feeling like he had broken the ice, Yoongi starting asking Jimin about his studies and found out Jimin was a dance Major, his life was dancing, of any style.  He specialized in Alternative Dancing, though. Yoongi noticed that when Jimin spoke about it he swore he saw a warm glow in his eyes, like literally a yellow gleam mixed in with his dark brown eyes. It was strange but he wasn’t going to say anything. 

In the middle of his chat with Jimin, Yoongi could suddenly hear his name being called. Confused, he turned around and saw Namjoon jogging up to him and Jimin,

“Yoongi! Hey man, why didn’t you tell me you had a free period right now,” he smiled his cute dimpled smile as he sat down next to Yoongi at the picnic table. Yoongi didn’t notice Jimin's Jaw literally fall to the floor. 

“Yoongi, whos this I thought you said you didn’t have any friends” Jimin practically drooled on the table Namjoon faked a gasp,

“ Oh wow I thought you considered me at least a friend since we were literally tangled up this morning” he laughed not realizing how that sentence sounded, Yoongi's ears turned red and Jimin gasped

“ That’s not what he means,” Yoongi put his hand in his face, embarrassed by the big dork sitting next to him, 

“ Oh! No, I didn’t-” Namjoon started, only just realizing his mistake.

“Anyways Jimin, this is Namjoon, Namjoon this is Jimin, I just met him right now in music theory class.” 

Namjoon reached out to shake Jimin's hand and Jimin just held it, for a little too long as his eyes literally devoured the tall brown-haired boy in front of him.

Yoongi cleared his throat trying to distract from Jimin's obvious thot behavior, 

“Hey so you have a free period right now too, that’s awesome, now we can meet up and head to history together,” Yoongi, once again felt so lucky that he didn't have to do any of this alone so far. 

Hey may not know either of these guys well enough to call them good friends but he sure as hell going to cling to any hope of friendship he could get. Throughout the free period, all three boys talked and bonded, it was strang the conversation ran like they had known each other for years and each guy felt a comfortable familiarity, even with Yoongi being a shy awkward weirdo, Namjoon being a bit of an airhead sometimes and Jimin being thirsty for Namjoon. Again Yoongi was hit with a new wave of happiness and he knew the others felt it too. He made some friends on his first day, and that was pretty damn cool.

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Next Chapter

[ibsul-jin]

Min-zero (Part II)

Word count: 3.1K

“I think you might be mistaken, Y/N. The pleasure will be all mine,” Mr. Song says as he finally turns to face you.

Wait. That face. It can’t be.

“You- you!” you exclaim, thrusting a finger in Mr. Song’s direction. You open and close your mouth a few times, unsure of exactly what to say. You’re speechless from the shock. How? What? – What was going on. After a long pause, you erupt into a fit of giggles. You can’t contain yourself so you laugh and laugh until you’re clutching at your sides, unable to stop.

“Good one, Mino,” you wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. “Damn, how did you even come up with that? You were always a good prankster, weren’t you?” you walk around the office trying look for the hidden cameras. You lift up a suspiciously placed snow globe off a bookshelf to inspect it closely.

“I would appreciate if you didn’t touch that Miss Y/N,” Mino warns. You stick your tongue out at him.

“You have to tell me, though. How on earth did you get the CEO of WIN Enterprises to play along?” you look at Mr. Kim sceptically.

“Miss Y/N, I’m appalled at your behaviour!” Mr. Kim looks flabbergasted. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now can we please drop the act? There’s no way Min-zero here is actually the CEO of this company,” you retort.

Min-zero was the nickname you gave your high school classmate and number one rival, Song Minho, or Mino, as he wanted everyone to call him. Mino was the archetypical class clown. He never took his studies seriously and instead loved to rap, sleep, or pick on you. Meanwhile, you were class president, valedictorian the year you graduated, and an overall high achiever. Your contrasting personalities was what led to you to begin bullying each other non-stop. Mino hated your perfectionism, the way you never accepted failure, and he especially hated how you always thought you were better than him. You hated that Mino never took anything seriously, the way he had no concept of taking responsibility for his actions, and that he was just generally annoying.

“Now listen here, Miss Y/N. Mr. Song told me that you both were previously acquainted but he assured me that this conflict of interest would not affect either of your abilities to work. However, I will not tolerate abusive language towards an exemplary employee and personal friend. I request that you apologize to Mr. Song immediately or resign if you are not able to cooperate.” Mr. Kim warns you sternly.

“Sir, I would appreciate if you could give Y/N and myself some time to talk in private. This must be a shock to her. We haven’t seen each other since we graduated high school,” Mino interjects before you say something that would land you in even bigger trouble.

“Alright, you may,” Mr. Kim sighs. This was getting to be too dramatic for him to handle at his old age. Before he leaves, he leans into Mino’s ear and you hear him whispering “don’t be afraid to call security if you need to.” That little.

When you and Mino are finally left inside the office by yourselves, reality begins to dawn on you. It was awkwardly quiet. Why was no one was yelling “Surprise! Gotcha!” or pointing out hidden cameras? You pinch yourself. Okay, so you weren’t dreaming either; Song Mino was actually the new CEO of WIN. Fuck. But how? You look Mino up and down, seeing him properly for the first time.

He’s changed a lot since high school. Now he is tall and handsome, with shoulders broader than you remember them. He fills out his perfectly tailored designer suit nicely. His skin is smooth and his acne had cleared up completely since you last saw him. His jet black hair is styled perfectly, lightly swept up to reveal his forehead. Mino’s most defining feature, his prominent eyebrows, are the same as you had remembered. Except one of them is now raised as he looks at you questioningly.

“Y/N, I asked if you’re okay,” his voice brings you out of your own thoughts.

“Okay? How could I be okay? I’m confused as hell,” you storm up to him. “How are you the CEO? How am I your assistant? What the hell happened to you after high school?” you jab your finger into his chest with every question. He grabs your wrist to stop you and the action catches you off guard. He smirks, relieved to be able to have shut you up for at least a minute.

“Have a seat and I’ll explain everything,” he says coolly. “Want anything to drink?” He asks.

“Some water would be nice,” you say quietly. He pours you a glass from a water filter sitting near his desk.

“Okay… where to begin?” Mino leans back in his chair and loosens his tie. “It’s nice to see you after such a long time, Y/N,” he peers at you curiously.

“I can’t say the same,” you bite back.

Mino reaches into his desk drawers to pull out a few magazines and tosses them onto the table in front of you. They read “Minute Magazine’s 30 under 30”, “Borbes Rising Stars” and so on. One of them even has a glossy, front cover picture of Mino standing in front of a large building, dressed sharply and sporting a winning smile. You rifle through them; you get the picture. Mino is rich and famous now, apparently.

“After high school, I founded an internet start-up. I grew the business until it was too much for me and my small staff of fifteen to run by ourselves, so I sold it to the founder of WIN Enterprises. He liked my ideas for the future of the company and wanted to hire me. He wanted me to at least have a college education before I start working here, so he paid for me to study at Columbia University in the US. I finished my undergrad and MBA, came back to Korea and started working here as a low level employee. I had to work my way up the ranks so I could gain experience and last month, I was appointed as CEO. That’s the short and sweet version, I guess.”

Your mouth hangs open in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me! You went to Columbia? You were literally the least motivated person I’d ever met back in high school. You always got zeroes! That’s why I fucking called you Min-zero all the time,” you shout.

“People change,” Mino shrugs. “I’m surprised you haven’t.”

“So why did you hire me? So that you could brag and show off how much more successful you’ve become than me? Well, congratulations, you got what you wanted. Now can I please leave?” you get up and angrily gather your things, prepared to leave. You weren’t going to lie, the fact that Mino had become so successful injured your pride, a lot.

Mino quickly rises to his feet. “No!” it comes out a lot louder than he anticipates. He clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “No, that’s not why I hired you. I honestly do need a personal secretary and I know you need a job. I thought this might help us get over our old childhood feud. I saw your name in the list of applicants and thought that by having Mr. Kim interview you, you’d accept the job. You’re also more than qualified.”

You laugh sardonically. “Forget it. I don’t need this job if it means working for you.” You turn on your heels and march towards the door.

“Then- then- I’ll fire you before you resign!” Mino shouts, unsure of himself. You freeze in your tracks.

“Wait… is he even allowed to do that?” you think to yourself. This just became a matter of ego. You’ve never been fired from a job and you weren’t about to let it happen now. You turn and face him with a glare, weighing your options in your mind.

“I- I’ll pay you well,” he adds. “Plus a huge holiday bonus. And the company will cover insurance, too.”

You lift an eyebrow. Why was this guy trying so hard to keep you here? Then it suddenly occurs to you that this might be worth it; Mino would pay you better than any other company could, plus you could keep your prestigious title as executive assistant at WIN. You just had to tolerate his annoying ass for a little while, but you’d get used to it eventually, right?

“I’ll think about it. Give me a day and I’ll let you know what I decide,” you say.

“Really? Okay, perfect. Give me your cellphone,” he strides over to you and holds out his hand. Standing this close to him, you notice how tall he really is.

“For what?” you ask, backing up away from him.

“I’ll put my number in it so that you can call me.” He takes your phone out of your hand, puts in his number, and hands it back to you. “I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you,” he smiles.

That night you go home and think about everything that had transpired in Mino’s office. You had never expected to be put in such a situation. Given your turbulent history with Mino, you weren’t sure if working as his personal assistant was such a good idea. But a part of you was also curious to see how he lived now, years after high school, and if he was really cut out to be the CEO. Besides, you weren’t teenagers anymore. You both were mature adults who were capable of working in the same building without ripping each other’s heads off… right?

You scroll through the contacts on your phone trying to find Mino’s number, unsure of what he had saved it as. You roll your eyes when you see “Your boss CEO Song” at the end of your contacts list. You change it to “That Min0 Bastard”.

You: okay, I’ll work for you >.>

You definitely couldn’t back out now. Quitting was no longer an option for you. You send the message and head to sleep.

--

The next morning, you wake up to incessant pinging coming from your phone. You look over at the alarm clock groggily. Ugh, who the hell was messaging you at 5:30 in the morning? You unlock your phone to find several messages and missed calls from Mino.

That Min0 Bastard: Y/N where are you?? I need you to help prepare the reports for our meeting with a sponsor company this afternoon. That Min0 Bastard: You need to come into the office ASAP. That Min0 Bastard: Y/N pick up your phone!!!

You almost fall out of your bed. Was he serious? You didn’t know that you had to be at the office early this morning. This was supposed to be your first official day and you were already late! You haphazardly get dressed and skip breakfast to rush to work as fast as you can. You're vaguely aware that you look like a mess but you hope you can sort out your hair and makeup situation as soon as you got a bathroom break.

You race into the building and only stop running when you reach the door to Mino’s office. You try to collect yourself as much as you can before you enter his office.

“Ah Y/N, there you are,” Mino looks up from his laptop when he sees you entering. Beep! He presses a button on his watch. “Half an hour. Not bad, but you can do better,” he says, impressed.

“What are you talking about?” you ask, still panting from the exertion.

“Oh, I just wanted to see how long it would take you to get here from home if there really was an emergency. Don’t worry, there’s no meeting today. This is just to be prepared,” he says nonchalantly. Anger bubbles up to your throat.

“Are you kidding me?! I didn’t even get to eat breakfast!” you yell. Mino looks unfazed.

“Get yourself something from the cafeteria. I’ll give you ten minutes,” his attention has already returned back to his laptop. “Get me something too while you’re at it.”

You’re completely speechless. Just yesterday it seemed like you were going to have the upper hand in this game. Mino had seemed like he was negotiating with you, almost desperately, to keep you as his secretary. But that Mino was not the one in front of you now. The person sitting in front of you was someone you needed to be wary of. Rather than fighting with him and losing any precious time, you decide to save the battle for later. Right now, you just wanted to eat something and drink some coffee to wake yourself up. You storm down to the cafeteria.

You wait in line at the breakfast bar to get something quick to eat. There, you spot the guy that had run into you the day before.

“Oh, Y/N! Nice to see you. How is everything so far?” Seungyoon asks as cheerfully as he can, despite looking like he hasn’t slept in ages.

“Ugh, don’t even ask. Turns out, CEO Song is my new boss,” you grimace. You’re debating whether you should tell him that you knew Mino from before, but you decide that nobody really needed to know about your history. “You were right, he’s a total monster.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that…” he sympathizes. “But I’m also not sorry,” he adds with a playful smile. You look at him quizzically. “I’m actually glad that we’re going to be working together from now on.” He beams at you. “Want me to buy you a coffee to celebrate?” he offers.

You feel the tension that had built up from the morning dissipate a little. You were grateful that you would have a friend going into this ridiculous situation, that someone was on your team.

--

“Are you finished with the translation, Y/N?” Mino asks, not looking up from the documents splayed across his rich, mahogany desk. You had been standing in front of his desk with the papers in your hand, waiting for him to acknowledge your presence for the last ten minutes.

“Yes, and here is the travel itinerary of Mr. Leblanc as well as the list of his food preferences. I will be there to personally receive him at the airport tomorrow.” That should shut him up for a little while, you think. Maybe now is a good opportunity to ask Mino if you could go home a little early today. It’s been two weeks since you started and you’ve spent every single evening in the office. It was getting quite suffocating being around him every single day and you were growing tired of biting your tongue each time he said something that would annoy you. You broach the topic carefully. “If that’ll be all, I’m going to get going. I have a few other commitments tonight,” you say before backing up to the door, ready to make your escape. Just before you can get one foot out the door, Mino speaks up.

“Hold on a sec,” Mino looks up at you. What on Earth could he have you do now? You’ve literally finished everything that needed to be done. He gets up from his desk and walks in front of it to face you, leaning back against the wooden surface. He folds his arms over his chest and cocks his head to one side. His eyes wander around your face, inspecting you. “You’ll do anything, right?” he asks after a long pause.

“W-What?”

His gaze seems to penetrate you.

“To keep this job. To not be fired… you’ll do anything, right?” His voice drops an octave making a shiver travel down your spine. He takes a step towards you. You start to panic at his sudden transformation. Mino’s words were overtly laced with a darker implication. What did this creep want from you? Surely he didn’t mean… that? Oh my god.

“What do you mean. What-what are you trying to say?” you squeak out. Mino was now less than an arms length away from your squirming self and seemed to get closer and closer. You never knew about this side of him until now. Was he always a playboy? Did he only hire you to get into your pants? Would this turn into angry revenge sex? You were mortified – not only because of the current position you were in – but also by the fact that you were seriously contemplating having angry revenge sex with your boss.

“I need you-” he whispers seductively. He moves closer and closer.

What should you do now? Scream? Run out of the office? You don’t trust either your voice or legs to save you now as they seemed incapable of following your brain’s instructions. Did you still have that bottle of pepper spray in your purse? Without taking your eyes off of Mino, you try to snake your hand into your purse to root around for it. He tilts his head down towards yours. His face is getting dangerously close and you still haven’t found the pepper spray. The spicy-sweet smell of his aftershave tickles your nostrils and makes your head swim. Then, his eyes flick down to your mouth. Mayday. MAYDAY. You eyes reflexively fluttered shut.

His lips moves past your face and whispers into your ear, making you flinch. “-To drop and give me fifty.”

“What-” you gasp as your eyes fly open. “What the fuck, Mino?!” you shout over his howling laughter. He’s doubled over and clutching his stomach, unable to stop snickering. You were getting serious dèja vu from your high school days. Embarrassed and thoroughly shaken up, you immediately ball your hands into fists and begin swinging at him. “You asshole!!!”

He holds his hands up, easily protecting himself from your punches, but you begin pounding your fists into his palms. Mino can’t stop laughing and his laughter is so contagious that, unbeknownst to you, your whines transform into hiccupping giggles while tears spring up into your eyes.

“That wasn’t funny, loser!” you laugh. It takes both of you a good five minutes to stop the fits of giggles, and when it dies down, it’s replaced by a heavy air of awkwardness. You realize that in order to maintain a standard of professionalism, secretaries ought not to be this comfortable around their bosses, nor call them “assholes”. You take a step back from him and smooth down your pantsuit. Mino’s expression is unreadable, and his face is tinged bright pink – probably from all the laughing that took the wind out of you both.

“W-well, if that will be all,” you start to say. Mino looks away from you and simply waves a hand in your direction, dismissing you.

[bubbasmeltys-blog]

Spoonie Boss Life

📷BUBBA’S BLOG #003

WHEN CLEANING IS LIKE MOUNTAIN CLIMBING! BUT YOU CAN STILL RUN A SUCCESSFUL HANDMADE BUSINESS LIVING WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS.

Yes this is another spoonie drama I have to go through and many others with chronic illness will relate!

I literally decided, against my better judgment, to give the living room a quick once over with the hoover! ‘What's so bad about that?’.... I can hear the non spoonies say? Well….

I literally did a quick swoop of the floor, so maybe 5 mins if that, right? (Another fun fact that folks with ME cannot always gauge timelines) anyhoo, I had to stop, even though my OCD was begging me to keep going but my whole body went into post exertion malaise. So this is super common with ME and one of my main struggles. Sometimes it happens immediately and sometimes within 24-48 hours!

What does ME feel like? The main feature of ME/CFS is a type of exhaustion known as post-exertional malaise, 'crash' or 'payback'. This means having flu-like symptoms after exercise/activity and not having enough energy for daily activities.

Research shows that people with ME/CFS have a different physiological response to activity or exercise from other people. This includes abnormal exhaustion after any form of exertion, and a worsening of other symptoms. The response may be delayed, perhaps after 24 hours. Depending on the amount and type of exercise, it may result in post-exertional malaise for a few days, or serious relapses lasting weeks, months or even years.

People with ME/CFS find that activities they once took for granted take an enormous toll on their health. For example, a short stroll, coffee with a friend, getting their child ready for school or catching the train to work, which caused no fatigue before, is followed by unusual tiredness that takes longer than usual to go away.

Link for more info - Credit https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-cfs

Right so I hoovered…and now I am out of breath like I did a 15 minute intense HIIT workout!! Why?? My heart was racing and I felt dizzy. My head is still a bit spinny as I write this blog!! I am very fatigued immediately after with my heart racing and breathless. In about 24-48 hours I may even risk a full crash which means I may not be able to move at all for a while. The scary part is never knowing when it will hit and how long it will last. So to me this is a warning that I need to spend the next 24 hours completely rested or the Crash could come!!

I have to admit I used to love house cleaning. I found it relaxing and a great workout, but sadly that has also been taken away from me by my illness. I have given up going on walks and exercise, both of which I loved. The ME and my separate knee disabilities have caused me to give these things up. But fear not, it's not all bad!!

I still have you guys to chat with when I can to help lean on each other, fellow spoonies rock!! Not to mention my small handmade business that I am successfully running despite all this! I have to do it on my terms and not to the level of someone without this type of illness. But I AM doing it!! I love it, every second of it. Melting, labeling, designing, packing orders…I love it all. I do not pressure myself anymore either. 2020 was an insane year for sales and almost broke me, so I had no choice but to pull back and scale down the quantity of products I was making for the shop. I had no choice if I wanted to keep it going. And guess what, that's ok!! If you love something it is not about money right? I mean don't get me wrong, it's super expensive to have a disability and chronic illness, my stairlift alone is insanely expensive! But the passion, love and joy I get from creating my wax melts, designing the labels, posting on social media and getting the lovely messages from you guys after you receive your order is my biggest achievement. If I have to maintain a more exclusive amount of products for now then that is ok. I am still doing what I love but doing it working with my limitations and not against them.

Sadly there are still non spoonies who believe ME is just a ‘yuppy flu’ (donned as this in the 80s and 90s) Yes I know!! Incredible to think that those poor folks who suffered back then were dubbed fakers or dramatic!! That's so infuriating actually. But I hope this article can give a small insight into a daily activity that is taken for granted by everyone that can trigger severe fatigue, malaise and breathing difficulties in someone with ME.

I hope this has made even one of you reading who suffers with ME or in fact any form of debilitating chronic illness including Fibromyalgia which can trigger extreme pain all over the body from a simple hoovering activity can see that you are not mad, you are not alone and yes this is real. The biggest message is that you are sick, not dead and while it may seem impossible, you can still do whatever you want to, just maybe tweek it a little to suit you and your illness.

Please look after yourself and try to rest as much as possible and most importantly do not let others or ‘non-believers’ get you down.

Lots of Love

Bubba x

[assholemurphy]

i am incredibly sad that i only have like, 1 extra adderall left (i may have to find somewhere to buy more from, since i only get like, enough for the month with my prescription, the only reason i had extras this month is bc it took a week for me to be able to get my prescription filled, so i literally had to go a week w/o adderall and i don’t wanna do that again, ever, it was hell, esp bc i ran out of sudafed, too, that week) bc holy fucking shit am i awake. i’m getting so much done. i took a shower and then highlighted all of the units in my script, which is usually hard to focus on bc it’s so dull, and i got another 15 units done, so i’ve only got like 30 left and i’m still wide awake and focused AF. like, i’m p sure that colors have smells, but also, like, the world is so intense and amazing. i feel fucking fantastic. i kinda wanna go skydiving, but like, not until i get my hw done, ya know?

but i’ve got 30 more units to do, then i’ve gotta make a graph, but after that, i’m done with the project and can move on. depending on how i feel/what time it is when i get that done (bc if it’s past 3:30/4a, i can’t sleep, i’ve got to stay up bc if not, i won’t wake up in time for class, but also, if i still feel this awake, then there’s rly no point to sleeping bc i won’t be able to, anyway) i might sleep, or i might start working on my playwriting assignment (bc that’s due mon @ 2p and i’ve got to write 6 1-min monologues for my characters) and watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical (bc i gotta have that done by fri @ 9a bc we’re watching it in class and that’s where we’re picking up at since the audio wouldn’t work in class, so it’s hw to watch the first 30 of it, but we can watch all of it, if we want, idk if i will, i’ve got too much to do and if i watch all of it, then there’ll be no point of going to class bc i hate rewatching things bc i’ve got a damn near eidetic memory for movies/books and certain other things, depending on how much i’m paying attention, but almost always books/movies unless i find them boring and don’t care abt them, so it would be stupid to watch all of it and then be bored in class), then maybe read some of after the fall (the script i’m pulling my monologue from for acting i) and do the assignment that goes with that (bc it’s due tues @ 9:30a). after that i should do my therapy hw (we’re still working on stuck points and i’ve got like, 5 more sheets, maybe more, to fill out) bc that’ll be due at my next counselling appt, which i think is next week, i’ll have to call them, but it’ll take abt an hour and it’ll emotionally drain me.

i think that’s abt it for hw, tho, but all of that’ll take roughly 9 hours, which means i def won’t be able to do it all tonight, but i can get most of it done if i don’t sleep, which means i’ll have more time for sleep/writing/literally everything else on the weekend. i might even be lucky enough to be able to get drunk. maybe. i’d have to start drinking at like, 3p and stop at like, 6p for it to all be out of my system so i can get to bed by 2/3a. so that’s a maybe. but a nice maybe.

ofc, i’ve got non hw stuff to do, too. i’ve got to make a list of roommate requirements so i can start looking for a new one (i’ve also got to talk to goldilocks to see when she plans to move out, bc like hell am i moving out, all the bills except her half of the lease are in my name and most of the furniture (aside from her personal stuff and the coffee table) is mine and i don’t want to have to move ALL of it out and into a new place, plus it’s her decision to not be roommates, so it’s on her, not me, and i won’t budge, not this time). then i’ve got to get my study/organization binder made so things’ll be easier to keep track of. i’ve got to do some cleaning (taking out the trash, cleaning up my side of the living room (we didn’t divide it, it’s just where the couches are so we stick to our couches most of the time) and the coffee table). then laundry, gotta do laundry, i’m almost out of socks.

ofc, i might have to start on my part of the second part of the group project. i wanna design costumes for the play, if neither of the others is doing that, which i hope they aren’t, bc i don’t know enough abt any of the other elements of production to do something else. but if i have to, i can try to do sound, maybe, that’s my second choice. so, i may have to start on that this weekend. i’ll talk to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman taylor and see what they’re doing for it probs on fri if not tomorrow at rehearsal. then i can start on my part and get it finished ahead of time to prove i’m capable, when i’ve got my shit together and am not having a breakdown every week. then, after i talk to prof j abt what i’m supposed to do for the show (something with finding times for freeze frames and spotlights, which is fun, but i’m worried my comdic timing isn’t the same as everyone else’s bc i’m autistic, so my sense of humor is a bit skewed, ya know? but anyway, prof j specifically told goldilocks (who is stage manager, i’m one of two assistant stage managers) to have me do it, so i’m afraid i’m being set up to fail bc i know nothing abt theatre, rly, and i’m always paranoid abt these things, but i’m also kinda thinking it might be bc she actually thinks i can do it, which sounds unrealistic, but she’s not a mean person, so i’m willing to bet it’s that one. but i need to ask her what all she needs me to do, bc goldilocks has no clue, which was so fucking helpful, what a great stage manager she is (no, srsly, idk if i bitched abt this earlier or not, but she’s absolutely horrible at this shit so far and i can’t stand working under her bc i hate working under incompetent ppl bc i feel it makes me look incompetent, too, if the job isn’t done right, even if it’s not my fault bc i wasn’t in charge and i’m always, always terrified to look stupid or incapable in the eyes of others). so, i’ve got to ask prof j abt what all i need to do bc i’m p sure the advice given to me by the lighting tech (who is apparently a decent stage manager, tho i doubt it, truly, she doesn’t have the personality for it, she’s too pushy and it makes her hard to work with, but that might just be bc i don’t like her as a person, so i’m reserving judgement until i see her in the position) is wrong bc it makes no sense, is way too hard, doesn’t actually help with anything and gives me a headache (bc mapping out the goddamn blocking is impossible when the actors do diff things every fucking night, wtf??? do the same shit, you assholes! but it’s also useless bc it doesn’t tell anyone where the spotlights/freeze frames should be, and blocking isn’t my job, it’s the other asm’s (who i don’t have a nickname for, but will probs have before the end of rehearsal) so why she’s not doing it, idk???) so i’ll ask tomorrow.

so, i’m looking at 9 hours hw now, then 30 min of cleaning, 3 hours of other paperwork shit, and potentially 4 hours of hw and 2 hours of theatre stuff this weekend. which means i can get at least 10 hours of sleep per night and get some writing done, if i finish most of my hw now. i think that’s worth one sleepless night. it rly is. so, here’s to hoping for at least one day off this week.

but if i don’t sleep, i’ll probs crash after rehearsal tomorrow night, unless i can convince my friends to come over and hang out, since they won’t be here this weekend and i kinda need their help making the roommate requirement list bc otherwise it’s just gonna be like ‘can’t leave time on the microwave after they’re done using it’ and ‘must know how to use headphones when others are studying in the living room’ and ‘must not whine when i want to stay in my room and do work instead of being around them 24/7′ (tho, goldilocks doesn’t spend much time with me anymore, which is fine, i guess, but it’s a complete 180 from what she used to do and honestly, i’m offended bc i caved and started staying in the living room and now it just feels weird not being in the living room and idk what to do abt any of this). i need real things, too, like, big concerns that i’ll forget abt when writing it, and i need to know if my requirements are petty or things that aren’t specific to most ppl, just goldilocks. and it’d be nice to hang out with them and shit.

anyway, this is rly long and rambly, but i rly need to vent all of this shit somewhere, it helps me sort my brain out. i don’t actually expect anyone to read it and you can always blacklist my personal tag ‘iz says stuff’ if you don’t want this shit on your dash. but if you do read them, then you’re always welcome to come to my inbox and be like ‘quit bitching and get back to work, dumbass’ or something. 

[studylizziee]

How I prepared for the BMAT

Someone sent me an ask wanting advice for the BMAT, so I did this post. Bear in mind my very average results (which you can see here) when deciding whether to take my advice! Hope it’s helpful x

Scoring System

There are 3 sections in the BMAT. The first two are marked on a scale of 1-9 (9 being the highest). It’s designed so that an average candidate (who by definition will be academically very able) will get approximately 50% of the marks, which translates to 5.0 on the scale. Any score above 6.0 is really good! Section 3 is an essay task marked in two parts. The first is a score between 1-5 (5 being the highest) for ‘quality of content’. The second is a letter between E-A (A being the highest) for ‘quality of written English’.

So I would say aim to get around a 5.0 or higher on the first 2 sections, and a 3A or higher in Section 3. Now, on to my tips!

General

First things first, make sure you get to know the format of the exam:

Written test, 2 hours long

Section 1: Aptitude and Skills (1 hour, 35 multiple choice questions

Section 2: Scientific Knowledge (30 mins, 27 multiple choice questions)

Section 3: Writing Task (30 mins, 1 question)

With preparation, the sooner the better honestly. I started doing some loose prep about 7-8 weeks before, then starting doing past papers about 4 weeks before, but I felt really unprepared so I would recommend leaving more time.

You aren’t allowed a calculator so practise some mental maths!

There is a specification and a ton of past papers, so there’s lots of material out there to use in your prep.

Section 1

this section is all about critical thinking and problem solving

I found it pretty similar to the UKCAT Verbal Reasoning and Quantitative Reasoning sections, so if you’ve done the UKCAT you’ll find that helpful!

for critical thinking, questions include: what the conclusion is, where the flaw in the argument is, what statement strengthens a particular argument, and what is an assumption of the text

it’s really all in the wording – look out for small words like ‘some’, ‘many’, ‘all’ or ‘no’ that completely change the meaning of the statement

for questions about compatibility: if nothing contradicts the statement, even if nothing directly supports it, it is compatible

problem solving involves a lot of maths type questions involving patterns, spacial awareness e.g. sides of a 3D shape, etc

make sure you’re on it with these basic maths skills: times tables(!), percentage increase/decreases, converting between fractions/decimals/percentages, interpreting graphs/tables of data, probabilities, ratios

with more wordy problems you can use algebra to help solve them

you have to work fast, but it’s not as time-pressured as Section 2 so breathe, you can do this!

also, TSA Oxford papers are really similar (although in my opinion slightly easier) to Section 1 so do those past papers if you want some extra practice

Section 2

this section is testing biology, chemistry, physics, and maths

on the BMAT website, they say it’s GCSE level maths and science. But from experience, I found that it was more like AS level

don’t panic though because there is an assumed knowledge guide which you can access for free online, which is like a CGP revision guide

the hardest thing about this section is the timing - it’s literally impossible to devote the amount of time you need to every question

soo if you’re spending too long on a question, GUESS AND MOVE ON

honestly, the best skill you can learn for this section is to quickly figure out which questions will take longer and which you can answer quickly

also, use BBC Bitesize because it explains concepts really well and concisely

Physics

don’t freak out if you’re not doing A Level Physics – most people aren’t so we’re all in the same boat. What I did whenever I was stuck was just ask one of my friends doing A Level Physics to help me, or you could ask a Physics teacher for help

there are LOTS of formulae that you really must learn – here’s a pic from my revision of the ones I learned

KEY:

F = force

m = mass

a = acceleration

v = velocity (and once volume)

V = voltage

h = height

g = gravity

W = weight

P = power

I = current

E = energy

R = resistance

Q = charge

t = time

c = speed of light

n = turns on primary/secondary coil of transformer

d = density

ws = wavespeed

f = frequency

lamda = wavelength

the most common topics that come up so you should be solid on are: electricity, energy/forces, the atom/radioactivity

Biology

genetic tree diagrams almost always come up

the questions are mostly human biology, and a lot of it is factual recall, so I found it’s not as hard as the other sciences

Chemistry

make sure you’re really clued up on the periodic table (e.g. isotopes) and periodic trends

there are quite a few calculation type questions so make sure to practise mole conversions etc, and mental maths again

Maths

make sure you know how to manipulate fractions, do speed sums, and do algebra

Section 3

a lot of people worry about writing an ‘essay’, but in reality all in needs to be is 3 or 4 paragraphs

there isn’t actually that much space to write as you are limited to an A4 page, within the box which is considerably smaller

there are 3 questions to choose from, and I would really recommend spending a solid 2 or 3 minutes picking a question

for each title, there are sub questions, and you MUST address all of these in order to get a 3 or higher for ‘quality of content’

it’s really really important to PLAN!

brain dump ideas for, against, and to conclude. Expand on each of your points to form a PEE type structure (point, evidence, explanation)

organisation: it’s SO important to have a clear structure. Usually I would do:

good things about argument I don’t agree with

bridge explaining why I don’t agree with that argument

argument I do agree with

conclusion summarising merits of both but ultimately why I took my position

practise at first by planning essays if you can’t be bothered to write it out every time (like me aha), then do some timed essays on the actual answer sheet

have a look at the mark scheme

Overall

The best way you can find out what you need to learn is to

check the specification

do some practice questions

Although there are lots of past papers, there are no explanations for the answers. I highly recommend paying for BMAT Ninja, which has worked solutions so you can figure out where you went wrong and learn from your mistakes (don’t worry if you can’t afford it – they have a bursary scheme that you can use)

Ultimately for this exam you just have to practise – do as many past papers as possible, starting off by just working through the questions, then building up to timed papers.

Useful resources

the official BMAT website

the specification 

section 2 assumed knowledge guide

past papers going back to 2003!

also, TSA papers for section 1

a book called Preparing for the BMAT that I found helpful 

BMAT Ninja and one of its creators, Ali Abdaal, has made a series of YouTube videos giving advice 

The BMAT by @joolshallie

Tips for the BMAT by @help-im-a-medstudent

[brianna-lei]

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either): 

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though! 

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions 

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!! 

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy” 

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!! 

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”  

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game 

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it 

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely 

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel! 

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)  

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L 

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now) 

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now) 

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me)  I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were: 

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon? 

yeah it is!! it's burrito 

(people think it’s a cute name) 

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine? 

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism) 

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup? 

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)? 

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive) 

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game? 

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most? 

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious) 

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup? 

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year) 

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel? 

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects? 

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips? 

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?) 

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people? 

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper) 

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”) 

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game? 

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice? 

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand? 

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!  

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it! 

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!! 

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!! 

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!! 

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy 

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

[redrackham87]

guys, i survived semester 1. 

the short version: i made it. i finished semester 1. i’ve spent the last two weeks sleeping and being with/visiting family/doing christmas. i have a couple more days of family, a few more after that of sleeping, and then i go back to battle semester 2. PHEW. i’m alive and actually had good grades mostly????? so yay!

the super, duper long version: below the cut. XD

the projects were constant and huge - either a ton of work, or just super time consuming. there was a lot of cutting paper (into letters, shapes, etc; mounting them all). there was sanding, cutting wood, plaster molds, molding clay, decoupage, note taking/writing, paper writing, memorization, drawing, lectures... 

basically, in every class, there was roughly a large project per week, sometimes two. as soon as i handed in and completed one, we were immediately given a new one. most of the projects required a “process”, too: drawing out 10-20 “thumbnails” (usually about 2 x 3 in each), then picking the “three best” ideas to “refine” into “discussion roughs” (usually about 6 x 8 in or so each; nicer drawn than the thumbs). then take one discussion rough and make it shiny - sometimes into a “comprehensive rough”, after we got feedback on the discussion roughs, or just going straight from the discussion roughs to the final. they want the thumbnails to explore a pile of different ideas (you get marked on your process) and the entire process handed in with the final. so. time. consuming. 

it was just this relentless gauntlet, all the way up to a couple exams, and finally, winter break. i found out there’s a THIRTY FIVE PERCENT dropout rate for first years, which was both horrifying and reassuring. 

the other problem was most of the teachers seemed to act like they were the only ones giving us work - so they’d be honestly surprised/disappointed when people were unable to finish things. -_- 

(i always finished, i’m happy(?) to report - it was often not pretty or good, lol, and i was often massively sleep deprived, but it was done. as the semester went on, i got marginally better at just stopping, and saying “that’s as good as it’s gonna get”. i regularly slept about 4-5 hours, often only 3, and a few times were 2, 1, and once, 40 mins, which was fun.)

design drawing was my nightmare class. it’s basically super technical perspective drawing. i had a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the concepts from the start, and the pace is so intense, that falling behind once meant falling behind a lot and not really able to catch up - i was finally understanding the week 1 stuff by the time we were on week 5 stuff. i did hours and hours of extra work outside of that class - reading the supplementary textbooks, getting help from peers, online tutorials, etc. - not including the actual projects, which took far longer than most. (example: on one project, i did some discussion roughs that literally took me 8 hours, and my teacher told me it should’ve taken me 20 minutes tops. -_-)

i asked the teacher for help several times, in class and out. he was super knowledgeable and experienced, but it clearly comes extremely easy to him and he was not good at relaying it - he’d rush through his explanations, and didn’t seem to understand (or really care?) that i did not grasp the concepts. he’d just freehand his version (we’re supposed to use rulers) and say, “just like what we did in class”, repeating himself instead of helping me understand. he was never outright condescending or anything, but i quickly got the vibe that he wasn’t happy about having to re-explain things to me, so after a couple times, i stopped bothering him. he also dinged me marks when i didn’t do it “his way” (ie. when i got help from online tutorials or other teachers. -_-)

i scraaaaaaaped a C in that class. all i needed was to pass. for second semester coming up, i have to take design drawing II... but i have a different teacher

for art history, i took copious notes, as for the two exams for it, we had to memorize 60 slides - this means, knowing about a dozen things for a single piece of art. 60 different pieces of art. we had to memorize: the location (which was where it was made for some pieces, but where it was found for others), the date (it was made or found), the medium (what it was made of), who the artist was, and the exact name of the piece. that was 60 slides for the first half, to midterms, then another 60 for the second half, up to the final exam. this was accompanied by 40-60+ pages of reading, per week.

tbh, i actually aced art history. (*beams*) the teacher gave us a sheet on the first day that was all the slides we needed to know, and she frequently, specifically said “this will be on the exam”. the projects for that class were writing a couple short essays, and of course, writing isn’t a problem for me. so all i did was, you know, follow her instructions and memorize the slides she told us to. XD the final exam didn’t go super well, as i was struggling to the finish line and didn’t have enough time and energy to memorize as hard as i needed to. but anyways: came outta that class with a A final mark. :)))

i also managed an A in sculpture - there was a lot of BSing involved in my concepts at times, but the teacher was chill and generous, and this was my option class that i frankly ended up putting the least amount of time into overall, since it’s not critical to me moving on in the graphic design stream, just necessary to complete first year studies. XD we had to do projects involving clay (x2), wood (x1), plaster (x1), and “found object” (x1) - not a project-a-week class, which helped, but also consumed time i did not have with everything else. 

of the last two classes, one was 95% lecture with 3 small essays/papers + final project (pulled an A in that class too!!! and my instructor asked to keep my final project to show future semesters. :D). the second class was the most time consuming outside of design drawing - huge variety of projects, all super time consuming, all requiring that process (thumbnails, etc) and a mysterious amount of participation and professionalism (it didn’t seem to matter if i actively participated in class or not, my mark in those categories was almost exactly the same every single week). i got Bs on every project, and so wound up with a B final in that class.

next semester, my schedule is the same structure: same amount of hours on the same days. i’m hoping against hope that the workload might be even a little less, or that i’ll just... be able to handle it better?? i have no idea how. 

i somehow have to figure out how to make lunches so i’m not buying all the time, because i can’t financially survive otherwise. i somehow have to find time to sleep better during the semester. O_o

so ya. phew.

BUT I MADE IT THROUGH SEMESTER 1. AND AM DETERMINED TO BATTLE HARD FOR SEMESTER 2.

*throws on dark lipstick and picks up rey’s staff and slicks back hair like eleven*

come at me bro [semester 2].   

[t1dlikeme]

Sofie's Story

“When you recognize that failing doesn’t make you a failure, you give yourself permission to try all sorts of things.” ~ Lauren Fleshman, is one of my favorite quotes, and something to remind myself in terms of diabetes management, training, and life! 

Diagnosis 

As a shy high school multi-sport athlete (track, soccer, and skiing) in Albuquerque, NM, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 16. I went from 2nd in state in the 800 my Sophomore year, to struggling to staying awake in class as a 4.0 student and barely making it through practices and workouts. With no history or knowledge of T1D in my family, we didn’t recognize the symptoms—I had a head-to-toe rash after swimming in waterfalls in Hawaii (may have triggered it) followed by months of losing weight despite eating jars of peanut butter and food each week just to keep energy—which my doctor at first thought “she’s a growing athlete” but we got bloodwork anyways. A week later, after yet another frustrating track meet, I was in the hospital with a blood sugar of 586, and was pumped to finally figure it out (until about 3 hours later when I remember eating a pear and seeing my blood sugar skyrocket, I burst into tears realizing how much of a change it would be!) 

Fast Forward…A Few Years 

After basically wanting to forget about high school (hiding in the bathroom to take shots, self-conscious and developed anxiety about weight gain post-diagnosis and just wanting to fit in), I needed something different. Although being a perfectionist and being shy / hiding from others gave me time to master my A1C early, it wasn’t sustainable and I internalized it all—until I got to college. 2000 miles from home, I chose Marquette 1) for the biomedical engineering program, and 2) for receiving a D1 Soccer Scholarship as a goalkeeper, but what I didn’t realize, is it would teach me to open up about my diagnosis and become a better athlete and advocate. I confided in my athletic trainer, who helped me with check-ins during practice (which could sometimes go 1-2 hours over the scheduled time!), and realizing we needed about ½ cup of gatorade + water every hour, supplemented with pedialyte during preseason. It was nice having my trainer, since I could get around going straight to the coaches (at first I didn’t want it to be seen as a weakness!) and she could carry around my gear for me, if needed.  

While goalkeeping allowed for easier access to management during games, practices, etc. I continued to find myself gravitating towards running, strength, and conditioning. My senior year, I began to go for runs while we were on away trips and started to become hooked—I found new ways to manage my BG’s and low intensity running basically was ‘insulin in my back pocket.! After finishing my collegiate soccer career, I joined the ‘Run with the President’ running group at Marquette with Dr. Michael Lovell (our MU President). It was around this time that another faculty member, John Klika, took me to coffee and was fascinated by my thesis research of designing a lifestyle computer algorithm and model to predict glucose and hormonal levels based on activity, stress, diet, etc. It turns out he was Type 1 himself—and a multi-ironman athlete.  

With a newfound confidence and support group, I gradually built my mileage and learned so many things from John about management, who also joined the running group and convinced me to run my first half marathon. It went really well—until, the group said next step: “the marathon.” I was like absolutely no way, I came from sprints up and down the field and have Type 1 Diabetes—I'm not sure I’m ready for that!  But, I’m not one to step down from the challenge, and I had the group helping me through the whole way. I remember my first 18-miler—5 miles from the end, I couldn’t run more than 5 steps as I couldn’t keep my blood sugar up, even with having the proper supplies, and I was just defeated. My body wasn’t used to this, having to rely primarily on glucose as fuel, instead of an intensity and fuel mix. But, I kept going—my track workouts got faster, and my next long run, 20 miles, no stopping! (It’s also important to note that I was also doing some triathlon training too, which helped keep a balance).  

I was ready and excited. Dexcom in my shorts pocket, 3 gels and gummy bears (of course), and friends cheering every step of the way! It couldn’t have been more perfect—flat line BG’s, fuel every 45 min to steady, the adrenaline rush at the 22-mile mark (the furthest I’d ever run in my life!), all propelling me to a 3rd place finish in 2:52. That was one of the best beers, post-race, I’d ever had in my life. This finish created numerous opportunities for me, including becoming a founding member of Diabetes Sports Project, JDRF Keynote talks, and more training—I wanted to try and qualify for Olympic Marathon Trials (2:45).  Unfortunately, along with these positives, came a very long string (~2-3 years) of off and on injuries—I walked 13 miles of the Boston Marathon in 2017 with a tibial stress fracture, the first of a few, and just could not catch a break. These times had a lot of lows, but taught me the resilience of having other outlets, support communities, and managing my diabetes without the ability to exercise all the time (I had started to rely on this as a form of natural ‘insulin’ all through college and into running).  

Looking back, these years of ups-and-downs were crucial to my development of outreach and community, my career, and finding the right balance of strength and running to stay healthy (turns out, soccer weight training had a lot to do with my injury free 25 years of my life!). I like to call this time falling not failing, something my therapist came up with (yes, I was seeing one, for anxiety and some low grade depression, which is something I will talk about now, since I think it is incredibly important that if you have any of these feelings, especially as a T1D, you are not alone!).  I took a job as a medical device engineer at Dexcom and moved to San Diego, CA, acting as a liaison between clinical, regulatory, quality, design and systems engineers, which was the perfect place for me as a T1D! I started the Dexcom Running Club, and from that, have some of the fondest memories. San Diego is also where I joined Prado Racing Team (PRT), and found my coach, Paul Wellman, who I still work with today.  PRT helped me find the love of running again, and I PR’d in every distance while training with them, and having a lot of fun doing so!  

My time in San Diego culminated with making an attempt at running an Olympic Trials qualifying time at CIM 2019, which I just missed in 2:49. It was such an incredible experience, however, even with missing my goal—3-minute PR, running with teammates, HEALTHY and injury-free for an entire training period, and friendships. I did have a diabetes learning experience, though, which I will take forward with future races—not all nuun is ‘carb-free’! It was on the course, and I assumed it was the zero-carbs flavor, so I took it at almost every aide station, causing me to sharply rise at about Mile 11 (especially coupled with adrenaline), which unfortunately caused some cramping around Mile 15 and slowed me off my 2:43 pace. Luckily, I was able to power through, and I will be more prepared next time.  

Current:  

I have recently moved back to Albuquerque, NM, where I grew up.  After looking for an opportunity to grow my career and move into management, this was the right move for me, and is now allowing me to explore altitude training and new heights, literally and figuratively! My family is still here, and with COVID, it has been nice to be close (and living with my boyfriend, Steve). While I am not training for any races in particular, I’m making attempts at a sub 5:00 mile (currently at 5:05 at altitude) as a ‘mini’ goal, and just trying to enjoy the simplicities of running! I am getting back into the volunteering scene, particularly with my non-profit, Diabetes Sports Project, and of course, JDRF.  

Some Tips, Tricks, and Life Lessons! 

Always be prepared—gummy bears in my sports bra are my favorite! I’ve learned many lessons along the way, including one of my first solo long run experiences with a low blood sugar and having to ask gas stations for a Gatorade that I would come back and pay for later (not my finest moment, but turns out, people can be very helpful!). Always carry a card or cash and know your numbers. Plus, some great times of having snacks on hand: my running buddies favorite line is “Hey Sof! How’s your BG?” “Great!! Why?” “Can I have some of your snacks….).” They need it too, and are thankful for it when they bonk! 

Train with people who know you at your best and at your worst, and your symptoms—those are the ones that can push you through tough workouts to the end when you don’t think you can run one more rep or mile, or can more importantly, tell you when you need a break and to take a step back. It’s often trial and error in knowing what intensities affect your blood sugar the most, but with a community, you can’t fail—you learn. As unpredictable as it is sometimes, Type 1 actually can give you an athletic edge. You have to know what your blood sugar is at all times, and how your body is feeling. No one else has to do that! 

Sofie Schunk

[thedefinitionofbts]

Our First and Last (Ch. 8)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | 

Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 (Final)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (MAIN) | Park Jimin x Kim Taehyung | Jung Hoseok x Min Yoongi | Kim Namjoon x Kim Seokjin

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Soulmate Au, Scifi

Words: 3.7K

“Y/N! I got the job!” Hoseok shouts as he checks his email on his phone while the two of you were sitting on the couch of your living room on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

“At the hospital?!”

“Yup!”

“Is that where you ran off to the other day?” You narrow your eyes as you remember spending over twenty minutes scouring the lab looking for him, only to get weird looks from the other researchers.

“Oh you mean the day you met Dr. Jeon?”

“Yeah.”

“Actually, I met a really cute guy, and he may or may not be the reason I eventually decided to apply for the internship” Hoseok giggles a little as he leans his head back on the couch. “He’s a med student, so I was asking him about med school applications, writing memorable personal statements, MCAT stuff, and interview tips…. as an excuse to get his number” Hoseok looks at you with a sly grin, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Well look at you, pouncing on every opportunity that comes your way” You smile and shake your head, not surprised at all, since Hoseok has always been the proactive type, always optimistic and full of energy.

“He seemed disinterested at first, but as I kept bombarding him with questions, I realized that he wasn’t annoyed at all and that his personality is just really laid back.” Hoseok says as he pops a rice cracker into his mouth. “You know, if you find a boyfriend, we could go on a double date or something.” He says, with a mouth full of food.

“Not happening” You say, as you roll your eyes and start nibbling on a rice cracker as well.

“Hey, what about Dr. Jeon?” He says, suddenly perking up at the thought. “I’m pretty sure he’s still single. I mean with how busy his work life is, he probably doesn’t have time to-“

“Jung Hoseok! He’s researching cognitive perception and consciousness, aka THE central mysteries of human life. Stop acting like he’s not way out of my league AND my professor.” You cut him off before he finishes, appalled that he could even speak of such impossible things.

Even though the thought has inevitably crossed your mind several times, especially after that embarrassing session with a Taehyung. But you tried to not think about it, wanting to concentrate on actually completing the experiment and keeping your relationship with Jungkook on more professional terms.

“He’s only 4 years older than you, and you’re not going to be his student forever. Plus, he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and on top of that he’s currently one of the smartest people on the planet” Hoseok continues his persuasive antics.

“Yes, I totally agree with you on that, which is exactly why he’s not an option and never will be”

“You don’t know that!”

“I can’t with this conversation with you anymore.”

You cover your ears, pretending like you can’t hear a single thing Hoseok is trying to say. You remove your hands when you’re certain his mouth isn’t moving anymore. He makes a sad face and you attempt to offer some consolation.

“You’ll have just as much fun on a normal date. Trust me.”

Culturing cells is a hundred times harder than it sounds. It requires much more precision than the lab manual actually says, and you have to wait around hours at a time for the culture to incubate, only to find out that nine times out of ten, you would end up with a bad batch, there was always something had gotten contaminated. But as hard as culturing normal cells were, they were absolutely nothing compared to deriving retinal ganglion cells from neural stem cells.

Environmental factors can completely change the developmental pathway of neural stem cells on the molecular level.

Jungkook’s warning voice rings in your head as you frown at the petri dish, crawling with cells that most definitely were not retinal ganglion neurons.

You groan, realizing that you’ve just wasted another day at the lab and a good amount of the stem cells Jungkook had ordered a week ago. You knew this was bad because that shit is expensive and the new funding hasn’t come in yet.

You were about to go to Jungkook’s office to tell him the bad news, but one of the other researchers in the lab tells you he didn’t come in today.

“I’m not sure if he’s on call for surgery or just making his hospital rounds” The guy in the white lab coat who was modeling some complicated looking graph on his computer says.

You quickly thank him and walk back to your bench. No wonder I haven’t seen Dr. Jeon all day. You think to yourself as you pack all your belongings into your backpack and prepare to catch the bus home. There was nothing more you could do, since there wasn’t enough time to start the experiment over and Jungkook wasn’t there.

Just as you were opening the door to leave, you accidentally bump into someone who was trying to enter.

“Oh sorry”

You hear the person apologize, but it’s the sound of his notably familiar voice that makes you stop momentarily.

“Yoongi?” You look up at the wavy raven-haired male who’s now wearing blue scrubs.

“Y/N?” He reacts in an equally surprised way, and honestly this is the first time you’ve seen this much emotion on his face.

“You work at this hospital?” You ask, eyeing his blue scrubs and the packet of pills in his hand.

“Uh, yeah… third year med student”

You nod, month forming an “o” in realization.

“And you’re….?” He waits for you to explain.

“I’m doing research under Dr. Jeon”

“So that application WAS yours…huh. And this whole time I thought it was just someone with the same name.” Yoongi is half mumbling to himself now. “Is he in his office?” He asks when he remembers why he was walking into the cognitive neuroscience lab in the first place.

“I heard he’s playing the surgeon role today.” You say casually, in an attempt to sound friendly even though this was only the third time you've ever spoken to the guy and you weren't exactly the talkative/extroverted type.

Yoongi furrows his eyebrows. “That can’t be. Dr. Lee just told me he took Jeon’s shift.”A concerned expression washes over Yoongi’s face, and you can feel something’s not right. He pulls out his cellphone and calls who you assume to be Jungkook. You watch as Yoongi holds the phone next to his ear, waiting for someone to pick up on the other end. After a few minutes of muffled ringing, he hangs up and shakes his head. He squeezes the packet of pills in his hand and bites his lip. You try to make sense of the anxious look in his eyes and see that he’s more than just worried. And for someone as expressionless as Yoongi to actually look this distressed, you can only imagine how bad this could be.

“Y/N, can you do me a favor?” It was almost like he forgot you were still there a moment ago, but he’s looking at you now.

You nod, a little too frantically. Although you had no idea what was going on, this whole situation was making you feel uneasy.

“Can you go to Jeon’s place and check to see if he’s ok?”

Your eyes widen, and you find it hard to fully interpret the words coming out of the med student’s mouth.

“M-me? G-go t-to….. Dr. J-jeon’s house..?” It briefly crosses your mind that you probably sound like a retard right about now, the way you were stuttering and struggling to form a coherent sentence, but that’s just a side thought as your mind runs through every thing that sounded wrong about the idea that Yoongi just proposed.

“Please, I just need to know he’s not going to do something stupid, and I have a surgery to assist in an hour, so I’ve got my hands tied here”

You don’t know if it’s the desperate pleading look in Yoongi’s eyes or your own concern for Jungkook that gives you the audacity to nod and say “ok”, but before you know it, Yoongi is writing down the address and patting you on the shoulder thanking you before running down the hall.

The rest of what happens all comes as a blur, and quite literally too. It was pouring outside, and of course, you didn’t have an umbrella because you didn’t check your weather app this morning, thinking it most likely won’t rain. fml. Rain water is dripping into your eyes as you squint to see the buses listed on the sign at the bus stop, but say screw it and call for a taxi after wasting almost fifteen minutes waiting for Bus #7. You attempt to dry yourself in the taxi, but all of your efforts were in vain. Your t-shirt and jeans were soaked through, and you prayed that water hadn’t flooded your backpack because you did not have the money to buy a new laptop.

When you arrive at Jungkook’s apartment building, the rush of cool air greets you as the sliding doors to the lobby automatically open upon sensing your motion. Your clothes were sticking to your skin, and you looked like a complete mess walking past the lobby and into the extravagant elevator with gold tinted mirrors and intricately designed patterning. Being the rich neurosurgeon that he is, Jungkook lived in the penthouse suite. The only benefit of that for you was maybe allowing for an extra tenth of a second to calm your nervous ass in the elevator.

Walking down the carpeted hallway, you can practically hear your rapid heartbeat and feel the clamminess in your hands as you approach the suite. You stand in front of the cream colored door for a good two minutes before squeezing your hands into fists and knocking on it. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

A few seconds later you hear the lock on the door click and….

“Yoongi, I suggest you focus on your own-“

Jungkook stops when he sees you, completely soaked from the rain, standing in the hallway to his apartment.

“Y/N?”

You feel your heart almost jump out of your throat as you try to organize your thoughts and explain the situation.

“G-good afternoon, Dr. Jeon. Yoongi asked me to check up on-“

Jungkook puts his hand up, signaling for you to explain no more.

“What are you, Yoongi 2.0 now?” The hostile tone in his voice is something you’re not familiar with. Granted you’ve only interacted with him a couple of times in lab, but he was always seemed at least approachable despite maybe lacking the sort of friendliness most professors you’ve met in the past had. There was an apparent tiredness in his eyes, his hair isn’t perfectly groomed like it normally is, and the dark expression on his face sends a shiver of fear and tension down your neck.

“He’s really worried. Maybe you can just call him back and I’ll-“

He waves your words off, like it’s some trivial matter that doesn’t deserve his attention.

You notice that the casual way he was dressed made him look much younger. His oversized white t-shirt and grey sweat pants hung loosely on his lean figure, and his chocolate bangs were covering his forehead as opposed to it’s normal slightly parted position. If you were only judging by appearance at that particular moment, you would’ve never guessed he was a famous MD-PhD neurosurgeon. In fact, he looked like any other college graduate…only a ten times more handsome.

“I’m sorry I bothered you. I guess… I’ll go now.” You say in a defeated manner, hanging your head low and slowly backing away from the door. He’s probably not in the mood to be bothered. I’ll just tell Yoongi he was tired.

Just as you turn and begin walking back towards the elevator, ready to almost sprint out of there, Jungkook’s voice stops you dead in your tracks.

“You’re going to catch a cold” His tone was void of the hostility that had coated his words earlier.

You turn around slowly and see that he hasn’t closed the door but is instead looking a you. No anger in his eyes. No annoyance expressed in his facial features.

If someone had told you, you would be sitting in Dr. Jeon Jungkook’s luxurious apartment, drinking the tea Dr. Jeon Jungkook had personally made, chatting with him about non-lab related stuff, and wearing his clothes, you would’ve waved it off thinking they were downright insane. But at that moment, it was the exact situation you found yourself in.

After he had invited you in casually like it was the most normal event that could’ve happened, his previous moody attitude had completely vanished. He showed you to his lavish bathroom that was attached to his equally as extravagant master bedroom and handed you a shirt and a pair of shorts. Although they were “clothes he hasn’t worn since undergrad”, they still draped over you like sheets, and the whole situation was awkward as hell. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t enjoy what was happening. Yeah, you almost peed your pants a couple of minutes ago, but now there was a certain amount of giddiness mixing in with the nervous churning in your stomach.

You peak out of the bathroom, looking to see if Jungkook was there, but only hearing the faint sounds of closing cupboards drift in from what was probably the kitchen. The cream colored carpeting was smooth, not even showing traces of lines that vacuum cleaners usually leave. Almost every thing in the bedroom was neutral toned. The large king sized bed located in the center of the room had black and white sheets; there was a dresser on one side of the room, directly across from the large window overlooking the city, but what caught your eye was the painting hanging above the dresser. It was an illustration of a view from a balcony, a scene of another city moments after a thunderstorm. The entire piece of artwork had a cool-toned tinge to it and although it was strange, it gave you a familiar feeling you couldn’t quite explain.

Walking out of the bedroom, you make your way to the living room you had passed earlier when you first stepped foot into the apartment. Sitting on the long white couch, you continue to look around, not knowing what else you could possible do. It felt like you were treading on thin ice, not wanting to suddenly do something to make Jungkook regret inviting you in and being concerned for your health (but he was a doctor after all, so it’s expected right?). There were millions of butterflies madly fluttering in your gut, and you almost jump out of your skin when Jungkook walks in from the kitchen with two cups of freshly brewed tea.

“Your clothes should be washed and dried in an hour or so,” He says as he places the cups on the black coffee table in front of you.

“Oh, uh..thank you, Dr. Jeon” You mutter, a little too softly to even sound professional anymore.

“Jungkook” He says, causing you to look up at him in astonishment. “We’re not in lab.” He adds as he casually leans back on the couch.

You don’t respond, because you don’t know how at this point, so instead, you begin looking around the room again, hoping that maybe you’ll think of something natural to say. You’re eyes are slowly sweeping across the walls until they land on something that draws your attention once again.

“What artist is that by?” You ask, curiosity getting the better of you as your eyes are still glued on another cool-toned painting that looks to be the same style of artwork as the one you saw earlier in the bedroom, only this time, it was a scene of a lake surrounded by weeping willow trees.

“I painted that,” Jungkook answers.

“You paint?”

He nods.

“Is it a distortion of somewhere you’ve been?” The cool-toned nature of the painting is drawing your interest. There was something vaguely familiar about the scene, but you didn't trust your thought processing under these kinds of conditions nor did you want to jump to conclusions.

“It’s not a place in real life” He says, taking a sip of his tea. You mimic him and do the same as he continues to explain. “They are places I see in my dreams.” He pauses, as if not wanting to go into more details. “It’s nothing really, just a way to kill time.”

“It’s pretty” The response just comes out of your mouth, like you had no control over it whatsoever. You wanted to say more, but it was as if there were so many thoughts that your mind couldn't figure out how to voice them.

Jungkook doesn’t respond, but instead changes the topic.

“Did Yoongi tell you about my condition?”

“N-no”

“I’m not as invincible as most people think” He looks down at his cup and fiddles with the handle. You watch his Adam’s apply bobble up and down as he swallows, clearly feeling uncomfortable exposing this about himself, but nevertheless, his words come out firm and resolute.

“Are you seeking treatment?” You ask, careful not to push him further than he wants to go.

He nods. “I don’t think it’ll do much, but as you can tell, Yoongi’s doesn’t give up.” He sighs. “I just didn’t have the motivation to get out of bed today, but he should’ve known I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. ”

You stay silent, drinking more of your tea and wondering how such a respected doctorate could have such vulnerable side to him. (But everyone does, right?) And it’s at that moment, when your looking at the casually dressed Jungkook, sitting next to you, shoulders slumped and eyes staring at his cup of tea, that you realize that he maybe isn’t as daunting as you made yourself believe. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes that you hadn’t noticed before reminds you of how draining it must be to put on such a strong image all the time and that maybe he also needs a shoulder to lean on just like everyone else.

Sunday brunch with Hoseok was always dedicated to all kinds of gossip. He was obsessed with talking about all kinds of rumors going around campus. His favorite being what he had heard from eavesdropping on the people around him, whether it was in class or at work. But today, he had insisted that you explain to him what happened that day after lab, when it had poured outside and you left before he could even drive you home from the hospital.

You were reluctant to tell him about all the events that happened that day, but you knew Hoseok wouldn’t drop it so easily, so you explain most of it (skipping most of the minor details) leading up to you finding out that Patient Dr. Jeon is indeed MD-PhD Dr. Jeon “That man is a work of art, but I guess being human, he’s got to have a flaw here and there.”

“I knew it!”

“What are you talking about? You were the one who was all ‘there could be a lot of doctors named Jeon’”

“Yeah, yeah” Hoseok waves it off and changes the topic. “So…” Hoseok gives you a knowing grin. “…how was spending the day at his apartment?”

He puts down the fork and knife that he was previously using to eat his stack of banana walnut pancakes, places his elbows on the table, cupping his face with his hands, and smiles innocently at you while fluttering his eyelids.

“You know, almost shit my pants, but as expected right?”

“I still can’t believe he invited you in.”

“Right? I just hope seeing him in lab won’t be awkward or-“ You were about to continue talking but a certain little red mark on Hoseok’s neck catches your attention. “Is that a hickey?!”

Hoseok jumps a little and quickly moves his hand towards the spot you were pointing at. He rubs the red patch of skin, noticing it feels a bit raw.

“Damn, I told him not to mark me up so soon” Hoseok mutters almost inaudibly. He looks up at you and smiles nervously.

“You guys are sure moving along quickly” You eye him with a grin.

“Yeah, well we were just having movie night over at his place, and things kind of just got heated”

“Oh, heated…”

“It’s not what you think!” Hoseok abruptly adds, attempting to do damage control, but you were already convinced that things had went down. “He’s completely different from what I thought. You know how you meet a person and you think they’re just normal and chill, but then you get to know them and their real crazy side comes out? Well I’m telling you, this guy is everything I could’ve asked for. He’s funny, kind, caring, down to earth…and we even have the same musical tastes!” There was a dreamy look in Hoseok’s eyes as he continues to go on and on about this guy, like he was all the wonderful things a person could be and more.

“Are you ever going to introduce me to this guy?”

“Yeah, after you work things out with Dr. Jeon” He winks.

“Jung Hoseok! We’ve been through this. I’m not starting this conversation with you again. ”

A look of disappointment washes over his face. “What about…Dr. Kim?!” Hoseok says, face lighting up again. “Judging by the way you described him, he sounds like a hottie himself.”

You almost spit out the coffee that was in your mouth.

“Hobi, he has Dr. Park.”

“Park and Kim are a couple?!” Hoseok’s eyes widen and he covers his mouth with his hands.

“Yeah, so you need to stop trying to pair me up with everyone I come in contact with. It’s suffocating.” You stuff a big bit of waffle into your mouth.

“Man, I always thought they would make a good couple.” Hoseok sighs and looks out the window.

...

[mistye-dawne]

actually you know what? 1-54 lmao. (or just whatever ones you want to answer.)

This took way too long cause my niece has been a wiggleworm all morning and I’m up and down chasing her ever 5 mins lol.

1. Favorite place to write.There is a park about an hour away from me that I go to, if able, when I’ve got writer’s block. I’ll walk about a mile into the forest and sit by a creek that runs into the river. It’s a trip but is worth the effort when I just really need an isolated place to think.

2. Favorite part of writing.Character creation. Even in fanfiction, I always change up the background/personalities a little to add my own touch and present them in a new light. I also love learning and researching so I’ll just look up random things and see if I can’t design something or someone around an idea or belief.

3. Least favorite part of writing.Editing… moving on. I guess I should say editing my own work. Sometimes because I wasn’t the happiest with how a chapter turned out and sometimes because I really don’t feel like re-reading what I just wrote 3 times over only to read it again later and still find typos and parts that just don’t flow quite right.

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?I have to be listening to something. Music, tv, the ambiance of a coffeeshop, etc. Unless I’m at my favorite place I can’t write in silence, but even there it isn’t quiet.

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.Toni Morrison morrison is the first name that pops into my head just because I re-read at least one of her books each month.

6. Favorite character you ever created.Childlike Evergreen for an idea that I’ve been playing with. She’s so cute and nothing like her character as an adult lol

7. Favorite author.Kristen Cashore, author of the Graceling series.

8. Favorite trope to write.

9. Least favorite trope to write.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. 11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.1. Take pen and paper. Write everything that come to mind then end up trashing more than half of it.2. Write nothing but dialogue to go with everything written in step one.3. Combine both into a word document.4. Edit and make look pretty for others to enjoy.

That’s actually how I do it. I will plot out and idea with rough imcomplete details. If something need dialogue to get it moving a have a seperate journal that I write nothing but raw dialogue in. I color code everything so that it’s easy to reference back to and see what goes with what. Then I literally just splice the two parts together including every possible word before editing and cutting most of it out.

12. How do you deal with self-doubts? I’ll go through some of my older pieces that I’ve never published/shared and compare it to my current work. Idk, seeing how far i’ve improved always give me a boost in confidence.

13. How do you deal with writers block?First, I walk away from a project because trying to force something out can ruin a piece and just spend a little time each day writing something, anything, just so that I’m always keeping up with my practice. I’ll also read a bit more and get out of the house more often cause my writer’s block stems from cabin fever most of the time.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?With my current piece that I’m writing. I took the idea of herbal medicine and looked up different plants what were used as medicines/ healing aids. Example: Belladonna, deadly nightshade, tincture was used to help aleviate thing like motionsickness, nausea, and even menstrual cramps. I thought it was interesting and since I was writng about dragon slayers and their perpetual uneasiness with transportaion, added into the story. In general though I always do a fair amount of research because I’ve not experienced all there is in the world and want to be able to make a connection with readers by presenting believable and accurate ideas.

15. Where does your inspiration come from?I’ve always felt more comfortable expressing myself through the written word and grew to love books and storytelling when I was little.

16. Where do you take your motivation from?Same as question 15?

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?If I’m doing computer work, anywhere from 1500 to 2000 words. I could easily do more if I let myself, and I sometimes do, but I always walk away from it at some point during the day so as to not overexhert my hands since they already hurt my after a while of handwriting or typing.

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?For revisions, I can just cut and add in the document. If i doing a rewrite I will create a new document and write it side by side. I feel like i make more changes that way which is the point of rewrites.

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.He wiped the sweat from his brow as he came upon her silhouetted form on the forest floor.

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.“What is you plan to accomplish with this stupid ritual?”

“Oh, I don’ even know it’ll work. I just read about it thought maybe I’d give it a go if the opportunity presented itself. Your cerlestial mage appearing was just that.”

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.Lucy had been so caught up in herself that she failed to asking how Bickslow was holding up. 22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?Nothing is ultimately ever done for me. that’s propably why I’m still sitting on a collection of shortstories that I’d like to get published but haven’t yet.

23. Single or multi POV, and why?No preference. Both come fairly easy to me but I think that if done well, single POV provides the most entertainment.

24. Poetry or prose, and why?Prose. I’ve taken poetry classes and had to read said poetry in front of 100+ people in college. I still cringe when I tell that story…

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

26. Standalone or series, and why?Standalone. I just can’t imagine writing multiple multichapter things centered around the same idea. Idk

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 28. And who do you share them with?Rough drafts are for my eyes only. Occasionally a beta when I find the need but that’s rare.

29. Who do you write for?For the sole purpose of manipulating the emotions of readers. Basically, I like to write trash that’ll make people cry when it suits me. Nah, I write because my head is full of all sorts of ideas and I just have to get them on paper so to speak. Sharing my creative writing is something new for me but so far, I’m not regretting that choice.

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.You showed me the world, then left.

31. Hardest character to write.Gray… never was a favorite of mine so I just can’t connect with him.

32. Easiest character to write.Lucy

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?Most of the time.

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?Handwritten. I waste a lot of paper and wish that I didn’t but it’s just most comfortable for me to handwrite the roughest form then expand the ideas on the computer.

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

36. A spoiler for story _________.

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.You aren’t the man who will make or break me. I have learned those men do not exist… I do not need you in my life. But I really, really want you in it

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?Meh, I’ll talk to my brother about ideas sometimes. He’s not a writer but he’s a good listener and is one of the few people that actually seem to enjoy it when I talk about writing with him.

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.I do and my favorite one is based off of my best friend from college. This girl and I met a week before classes began and she really like how my name was spelled. We hit it off from there. I’ve actually written a story based off of that first interaction between us. She’s a family woman and has such a passion for teaching english. She’s got an attitude and does what she wants, but she was the mom friend that i needed because I usually play mom for my other friends lol

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?Both. All of my original works are based off of real stories from real people that I know. My fanfiction is where my creativity shines though especially when working with a universe like Fairy Tail.

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?However many that suits me. My exception to this rule is only 1 multichapter fic at a time due to how much time and research I invest into the piece. I’m also far more critical about editing chapter versus oneshots.

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

43. Are you an avid reader?Yes. Reading is what makes the writer.

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.One semester I took a research class and had to design and conduct my methods and gather data. There was one part where we had to develop how we were to gather the data we sought and my instructor told me that it was hard for him to critique my methods because I had already done so in the proposal. I figure leaving a guy who writes for a living unable to write anything is a good thing lol

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.Taking a creative writng class with people who don’t love writing as much as I do. To elaborate, we would be required to write something of our own creation and you could tell who loved writing based on the feedback they gave. I can’t begin to say how many people took to giving me grammar advice because they couldn’t think of anything to say about the content…

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?Characters.

48. Favorite genre to write in.Adventure/drama

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?Always the beginning.

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.Oh god. Please no. Umm when I was like 15 I started writng this story about elemental angels and they had to save the world or something like that. Idk, when I look back on it I think that it’s weird

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.

52. How did writing change you?Writing has helped me to become more confident in myself and also helped me to cope and move forward from the abuse I lived through when I was little.

53. What does writing mean to you?Writing is literally what saved my life so it’s everything.

54. Any writing advice you want to share?Write. If it’s something you want to do then do it. You only get better the more you pratice it. If you don’t know what to write, try a word promt challenge and write about whatever comes to mind. Just let your ideas flow.

[hoseokhearts-blog]

Bad for Me (Min Yoongi x Reader) Part Four

4] restless- infatuation 

A/N: You'll understand this picture later on in the chapter. I thought you guys might want a visual of the description!

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You and Yoongi began to fall into a rhyme and rhythm.

It'd been about 6 weeks since he first start working at Youth & Impulse, and the two of you had a rather consistent routine that was followed every single Tuesday and Thursday at work. Yoongi would always arrive at 5:30, a half hour before he actually needed to be there. You would make him a latte as you'd been doing before, but you began trying out different designs on the top. He would rate your new designs from one to ten, and help you decide on which ones were good enough to sell to actual customers.

Then, Yoongi would play piano for the next 2 and half hours after that, and you would watch him from behind the counter. Stevens had gotten onto you several times for not paying enough of attention to the guests, but no matter how many warnings you got about it, you found it nearly impossible to keep your eyes off of Yoongi. His charm and classy look about him as he played the piano drew you in, and you literally never wanted to stop looking at him. Even as Stevens was snapping his fingers in front of your face, or as your eyes began burning and drooping from drowsiness, you didn't want to pull your eyes away.

Your infatuation with him only grew every time you saw him and every time you learned something new about him. He could tell you something as trivial as how much he liked oatmeal raisin cookies and you would still be thinking about it hours later. This was the first time a single person had so much influence over your everyday thoughts.

After the shop closed, Yoongi would stick around to help you and Stevens clean up. Sometimes he would walk you to your dorm, other times the two of you would grab at a late dinner at the 7-Eleven down the street, and rarely, you two simply parted ways at the end of your shifts. You hated the nights where he just left. You didn't like it when you didn't get to spend the extra time with him, as that time after work was when he seemed the most real, and the closest to you. Those nights where you spent time alone with him, no matter how small the amount of time was, left you wanting more and more.

The uncomfortable and awkward tension that the two of you had previously experienced was no completely gone on both ends. You were learning to trust him and to believe him wholeheartedly, even though you knew it was a dangerous game to allow yourself to fall for someone that fast. You couldn't find it within youreslf to be overly cautious; all you wanted was to be close to Yoongi.

All you wanted was him.

~YOONGI'S POV~

As he clutched the contest flyer in his hand, Yoongi realized that he was nervous to go into work. He had exciting news that he was desperate to share with You, but there was something that he had to come clean about first. What he needed to tell you wasn't exactly a big deal, or a big secret, but it still was a rather large part about his pending music career. Truthfully, he felt guilty for not revealing this part of himself to you sooner.

He could tell how invested you were becoming in him, and that simple fact always managed to make his heart beat faster. He didn't take your time or attention for granted as he could acknowledge that he'd never felt so close to someone in his life. For the first time in a very long time, Yoongi was truly beginning to feel...happy. And it was all because of you.

He took a deep breath as he turned the corner, approaching the front of the cafe at 5:30 as he usually did. He couldn't help but smile as he watched you perk up from behind the counter when he walked in. After hanging up his coat, he went over to you. He still felt slightly nervous, but upon seeing your face, excitment began to drown out the other negative emotions and worries that he had.

"Yoongi! What's up?" you exclaimed, and he grinned at your enthusiasm to see him. He nearly blurted out the words "You're cute", but bit his tongue, knowing that the comment would be a bit out of line.

"Y/N, I have good news," He teased you, his excitement now blatant.

"And?" he watched your face spread into a smile, waiting not-so-patiently for an answer.

"I've been accepted into a music competition, and recruiters from small talent agencies will be there," He grinned, cheeks turning red as you ran out from behind the counter. Out of nowhere, you were flinging your arms around him, exclaiming, "Yoongi, that's so great! I told you you'd get your chance eventually!"

Yoongi stiffened under your arms, not because he didn't like you being that close to him, but because he was surprised at how casually you embraced him. He felt guilty as you pulled away, seemingly taken notice of how he had practically just rejected your hug. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as you mumbled out an apology.

"Oh no, no! You just caught me off guard," Yoongi stammered, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "Anyway, about the competition," he changed the subject swiftly, desperately trying to recover from the uncomfortable moment, "There's something about my music I haven't exactly told you yet."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not just a pianist," he began.

"Okay?"

"I'm a rapper," he said slowly, watching you carefully to gauge your reaction.

"Oh, really?" You sounded surprised, but your tone was full of curiosity, not judgement. "You always look so gentle and calm while you're playing music...I never would've pegged you as a rapper," You chuckled, and Yoongi was relieved.

"That's how I'll be competing in the contest...I'll be rapping, not playing the piano," he explained.

"I'm so happy that you're finally getting a real opportunity, Yoongi. You deserve it, honestly," you said sincerely to him, his heart becoming elated.

"So, does that mean you'll come then?" He asked hopefully, biting his lip. He wasn't quite sure when it first started, but somewhere along the way in his relationship with you, he had suddenly begun to care a great deal about what you thought about him. He wanted you there, not just to support him, but also because he wanted to share that moment with you. He wanted you to see him doing what he was most passionate about; performing his music for others. He wanted you to be impressed with him, and to feel proud of him.

He cared what you thought.

"Come where? The competition?" You asked, seemingly excited by the idea.

"Yeah, if you can. I would like it if you came," he replied shyly.

"Of course! I would love to come! When is it?"

"Tomorrow night. 9 o'clock."

"I'll be there for sure," you nodded, and Yoongi really couldn't control the huge smile that was on his face. He wanted to play it cool, but he just couldn't.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow night then? We can go together?" He offered.

"Sounds great."

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~YOUR POV~

Yoongi showed up at Youth & Impulse at 8:30 the next night, right at the end of your shift so the two of you could walk to his competition together. Given that the cafe was right in the middle of the city, most other things were in near proximity, making walking more convinient and cheaper than taking a taxi.

Yoongi walked in the door, gaining eyes from customers as he swiftly walked up to the counter to meet you. He looked different tonight; his hair was messier than ever, but it looked like it had been styled that way on purpose. He was wearing a black and white striped cut off T-Shirt and a black hoodie. But, the hoodie was only covering one shoulder, and slipping off of the other one, exposing his pale yet obviously toned arms. It took an incredible amount of conscience effort for you to remind yourself that it would be innapropriate to continue staring at his arm muscles, no matter how bad you didn't want to look away.

He was wearing hoop earrings, replacing the small black studs that he typically wore. He was wearing three different rings across his hands, with a chain bracelet and neclace to match. As he approached, you could tell he was even wearing makeup; it was faint, but black eyeliner allowed his eyes to pop. In that moment, Yoongi truly looked like a star. He looked like someone who was famous, someone who was rich, and someone who was important. Perhaps that's why his entrance into the cafe caused so many heads to turn, so many eyes to stare, and so many people to whisper.

"Y/N! You ready?" He asked through a gummy smile, fidgeting out of apparent excitement and nervousness. You felt shy as so many people's eyes were on you. You didn't like copious amounts of attention; you found it invasive and uncomfortable.

"I am!" You replied with enthusiasm, despite the fact you were uncomfortable with all of the intruding eyes. You slipped your apron off over your clothes, simply wearing a black sweater and skinny jeans as Yoongi informed you that the dress would be very casual.

"Stevens, Yoongi and I are heading out, okay?" You called out to Stevens who was busy making a caramel macchiato.

"Yeah, yeah. Go have fun! Good luck, Yoongi," Stevens said without even turning around, too busy drizzling caramel from a squeeze bottle onto the top of the drink.

"Thank you, Sir," Yoongi replied earnestly as you made your way out from behind the counter. "Alright, let's go then."

The two of you walked through the cafe to the front door, looking like a million dollar pairing. You blushed as you noticed people's heads continuing to turn to get a look at the two of you, while Yoongi seemed unphased by the attention, if he had even noticed it at all. You took note of fame would suit him well; you were happy he was the one that had the chance to become a star, and not you. You would never be able to handle all of the privacy intrusion, the demeaning eyes, the pressure. That kind of life wasn't something you wanted. However, Yoongi seemed perfectly cut out for it.

He was walking a bit faster along the sidewalks that night. You pegged it to be his nervous yet excited energy, and all of that energy began to rub off on you. You hadn't realized how excited you were to see Yoongi perform until the two were about a block way from the venue. There were cars parked bumper to bumper along the sides of the streets, making you realize how big of a deal this really was. Perhaps it appeared like some lame underground rap competition, but after seeing the amount of people that were going to be there, you began to think otherwise.

"You said that recruiters from talent agencies are going to be here tonight, right?" You spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence that you had been walking in.

"That's right," Yoongi breathed, his breath showing in the freezing cold air.

"So, this really is a huge opportunity isn't it?" You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

"It really is," he sighed, biting his lip as you looked over at him. He didn't look so excited anymore; he looked more nervous, and you couldn't blame him.

"Hey, listen. Try not to let the pressure get to you, okay? I'm sure you'll do great. And even if you don't, this won't be your last shot," you tried to reassure him, tried to bring him a bit of comfort even though you knew that no amount of words would remove the butterflies he was likely feeling in the pit of his stomach. You wanted to reach out and try to hold his hand, but after how weird he'd been about the hug yesterday, you decided against it.

"Thanks," he offered you a small smile as the two of you found yourself standing in front of the competition venue; an old warehouse. Through the open front doors, you could see the neon lights and the crowds of people that were already there.

Yoongi was at a standstill, taking in the crowd and the energy silently.

"Ready to go inside?" You asked quietly, glancing over at him.

"Yes," he said simply, catching your eye for a short moment, before moving forward, you right beside him.

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Yoongi was the 8th person to perform, so throughout the first performances, he stood out in the crowd with you. While the people performing were Yoongi's competition, you could tell how much fun he was having while watching everyone rap. You spent a lot of time looking at him, how his facial expression was influenced by different lyrics and different emotions from the various rappers. You watched him have fun through the flashing of the neon lights and in the midst of several other sweaty bodies in the crowd. You were pressed against Yoongi's side due to the mass amounts of people that were cramped into the small space, but you didn't feel uncomfortable being beside him like that.

When his name was called out, he grabbed your hand quickly, meeting your eyes for a short second and offering one of those knee-weakening smiles, before leaving your side and running up to the stage.

The only way you could describe his performance was by using the word "flawless." He didn't skip a single beat, each word comfortably rolling off of his tongue with confidence. The emotion behind the lyrics made your heart ache for him, that he had felt that way. But that aching was distracted and disrupted by his incredible charisma while being up on that stage. You eyes were so stuck on him, you weren't sure if you had even blinked once throughout his entire performance.

You saw a different side of Yoongi come out while he was on that stage; a darker and a wilder side. You could see how much he loved what he was doing, and how much heart and passion he truly put into it. You felt true awe while standing there amidst the flashing lights and the energy and the chaos. You watched the sweat roll down his forehead as he gripped the microphone tighter, his words flowing even faster.

You watched as he worked to make his dreams come true.

Coming down from off the stage, Yoongi was clearly ecstatic. For once, he seemed entirely confident about his performance, proud of himself for a job well done. You watched as he made his way to you, unable to even register what was happening as his arms were around you, pulling you into a hug. He was hot and sweaty and practically panting because he was so out of breath. But, instead of rushing for some cold water, he went straight to you.

The moment was so surreal as Yoongi tightened his arms around your waist, you almost wondered if maybe you were dreaming. But as he whispered in your ear, "Y/N, I think I might really make it," you finally could acknowledge how real the entire situation really was. You hugged him, pressing your hands into his back to bring him closer even though his entire shirt was soaked through with sweat.

But for some reason, even though his sweat was getting all over you and several people were watching you and you were incredibly hot, you didn't want him to pull away.

You would've stayed there, embracing Yoongi, tucked against his chest for hours if you could've.

You would've stayed there, heart beating out of your chest, cheeks flushed, Yoongi pressed against you for days if you could've.

You would've stayed like that forever, really.

But like all good things, the hug had to end. And when Yoongi pulled away, there was a smile brighter than the sun on his face. He was seemed so happy and so proud, you wished you could've frozen time and taken a snapshot of that exact moment.

"Thank you, Y/N," he said softly, before hugging you quickly one more time.