#it literally doesn’t have a back button that takes you back to the previous screen it takes you back to the homepage
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Do all apps that colleges require you to use suck absolute ass or is it just the ones mine is forcing me to use
#I’ve asked it to remember my login like ten times today#it never does#it literally doesn’t have a back button that takes you back to the previous screen it takes you back to the homepage#then you have to sign in again
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Billy Loomis: Headcanons.
Warnings: swearing, and maybe typos, and mentions of manipulation and (untreated) mental illnessess.
Author's note: i love billy, what can i see. i literally have no excuse. might think about doing a part two to this if someone requests it. also, did you know that the first time we see billy on screen, a cover of this song is in the background? since then, i can't stop thinking about him whenever it plays.
comments and reblogs are always appreciated! requests are open, especially for scream! hit that anon button and tell me your ideas. in the scream fandom, i write for billy loomis, stu macher, mickey altieri, chad martin-meeks, mindy martin-meeks, tara carpenter, anika kayoko, laura crane
i think i project a lot into billy because of the daddy issues and the anger.
BUT ANYWAYS,,,
i feel like billy started feeling emotions so much after his mother left.
like,,, he still feels things, and he laughs, and he has a good time, and he feels sad…. but all those feelings have been weakened since his mother left.
but whenever he does feel strongly, it’s like a explosion. he gets really mad, he gets really sad, and if he likes something, he gets kind of obsessed.
i think that’s some kind of disorder but i’m not here to give him a diagnosis.
also i feel like he dissociates a lot
but that’s already from a young age
i think his childhood was happy, but now when he thinks about it he remembers a lot of fights between his parents and a sense of emptiness that he’s never really gotten rid of
it’s weird, and he hates it.
his mother is such an important person for him, and her leaving just like that and not taking him with her hurt him way more than he’s ready to admit
he doesn’t like his dad (canon)
like, he really really dislikes the dude. probably hates him.
being angry is his fuel. it’s a constant in his life
i feel like he would relate to jd from heathers. like, a worryingly lot.
he dressed up as jd for halloween, too
it just fits him a lot
he’s a weird kind of popular boy. he’s very selective with his friends, he’s mysterious, doesn’t really like big parties and he can be really rude. but he’s also really charming and he has pretty privilege, so he’s used to getting away with everything
looks like the kind who wouldn’t take notes or pay attention during class but then aces his tests and all
he observes a lot, and in silence. he knows everyone’s names, even if he plays dumb, and probably has a lot of data about everyone around him stored in his brain. very analytic, our billy boy
he’s not a big fan of physical touch. he touches who he wants (his friends, mainly) when he wants (they are all big on physical touch and rarely ever don’t want him to touch them) and only when he wants.
billy flirts for fun, and mostly because he’s bored. he learned by observing, if not he would have no idea how to do that.
he’s bisexual.
he truly did love sidney in the beginning. his misogyny ruined everything (canon)
he went to a therapist a few times when he was a kid, because nancy (mrs loomis) was worried about him being slightly different and more quiet than other kids. the therapist didn’t pay him much attention and said he was fine.
he canonical has psychosis. the psychotic breakdown came with his mother leaving and him finding out his father had cheated with his grilfriend’s mother.
billy learned to manipulate people from his father.
spoiler, and going back to a previous headcanon, his childhood wasn’t really happy. it takes him a while to accept that, and realize he’s been under his father’s manipulation for a long time.
billy has this black notebook he carries everywhere he goes. he uses it for everything — inside, he has the plans for the murder spree, the people he hates and why, important things he has seen and will use to get what he wants, his anger spurts… it’s all there.
he plans on burning the pages with the murder spree once it’s finished, to leave to clues.
i’ve seen it so much that i can’t remember if it’s canon or if we just made it up, but billy’s father has this cabin they used to go to during the summer and winter holidays. that cabin is his happy place, he loves it and talks about it a lot.
he likes all horror movies, but the fancy ones are his favorites. he thinks he’s better than anyone else, for that, and that’s why randy annoys him so much — randy has a really good taste with movies, so they collide.
probably knows how to cook, even if it’s just a few dishes. it’s not like his father is around too much, so he’s managed to figure it all out.
he’s probably alone in his house a lot, too. even if he enjoys being alone anywhere else, he hates being alone there.
bitter flavors are his favorite.
he genuinely enjoys drinking beer. i hate him for that.
he celebrates the fuck out of halloween. it’s always been bigger than christmas, anyways.
his color palette is very simple: white, blue and black. maybe even brown if you push him. and that’s it, the boy’s simple and stylish.
hates being called william.
plays in the football team to release anger. he expects to get a shitty scholarship that will pay some of his college studies and never come back to woodsboro. billy doesn’t care about what he’ll study. ideally, it would be film like randy did in scream 2.
also he’s probably very good at most of the subjects except for one of those a lot of people hate — biology or physics. something like that.
i want him to be good at english and literature and to read a lot.
and i actually headcanon him as a voracious reader, especially horror novels.
his old time favorite is dracula, but he loves stephen king’s writer.
will defend carrie with his life.
he’s supposed to have a car? or does he share it with his dad? whatever. he walks to school most of the times, he doesn’t like driving. he gets a lot of road rage and he doesn’t want to disconnect — that’s the word he uses for his dissociative episodes — whenever he’s on the wheel.
if you’re his friend and you don’t like horror movies, no you’re not.
he’d be so good with writing essays, no, i will not elaborate.
probably can’t see shit from very afar. he used to have very good sight but not anymore — that means, he’s slightly myopic. it’s not too bad, though, so he’s refused to get glasses.
he’s very obsessive with his special interests (aren’t we all?)
really likes knifes, but are we surprised? his father probably gifted him one after a few hunting trips together, and the boy’s a goner now.
most parents like him, again, because of his charisma. even with the bad boy vibes going on, he can put on the most perfect sweet boy act and that makes everyone fall for him. he just needs to feel motivated for it to work
he’s a good actor, therefore. i think he’s proven that already, though, even if he acts hella sus all the time he fools people into trusting him
LOVES the feeling of power. billy needs to be a few steps before you to feel in control and be able to relax about anyone. knowledge is power, and he will do whatever to have that power.
mastermind™
has no favorite color — he couldn’t care less about choosing a favorite color.
#billy loomis#william loomis#skeet ulrich#scream#scream 1996#scream 1#billy loomis headcanons#scream franchise#lu writes#writing#my writing#Spotify
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9 Best Non-Wi-Fi® Baby Monitors
As a parent, you want the best for your baby. That includes having a way to monitor them when they are sleeping or taking their naps. Today we're going to talk about 9 of the best non-Wi-Fi® baby monitors on the market with pros and cons for each one so that you can find the perfect one for your needs! Comparison of best video baby monitor non-Wi-Fi® Top-list infant monitors with 2 cameras no Wi-Fi® Best long-range babies monitors without Wi-Fi® The best baby monitor without Wi-Fi® in 2023 1 Optics DXR-8 Pro Video Baby Monitor without WiFi® Review https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F7m4JSTItw Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO Unboxing & Review What’s going on everyone. My name is Erin, and this is Dad.0. Oh, now, because this is dad point. Oh, I do occasionally like to review some tech parenting products, including, but not limited to camera setup and baby monitoring. And it seems simple enough, but as a parent, this is one of the most important pieces of tech you’re going to buy. And you don’t really realize it until you buy one that doesn’t work brilliantly. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO Review And about a year ago, I reviewed one of the most popular baby monitors on Amazon. The infant optics DXR-8 PRO are eight and overall I did like it. However, it did have a pretty small display compared to a lot of other baby monitors out there. It only had a three-and-a-half-inch display and the resolution left a lot to be desired. However, infant optics has updated this baby monitor and now has this infant optics. DXR-8 eight PRO, which has a five-inch display, and finally has a 720 HD resolution. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: night mode So I decided to pick one up, compare it to the previous model and see if this is the best baby monitor on the market. First, I just want to show you what you get in the box with the DXR-8 PRO eight pro opening this up. You have the five-inch monitor on top, here again, 720P looks very similar to the previous model. Just a little bit bigger. You also have the camera again, it looks pretty similar to the previous model with kind of a silo design with a pivoting head. You also get charging cords and wall adapters for both. You get an additional zoom camera lens, and then also you get mounting screws to mount this on a wall. One of the things that I Love about the infant optics monitor Is that it runs on its own 2.4 gigahertz channel, which means you don’t have to connect this to your Wi-Fi® at all. You basically just plug it in and it connects to itself. And you’re set to go. Not only does this make for a super simple setup, but it also is more secure and reliable. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: wall mount camera If someone were to hack into your network, or if your router were to go down, you still have access to see your baby monitor. On top of that, I just really liked that it has its own monitor, and I don’t have to use an app or my phone or a different device as a baby monitor because some of the only times I get to use my phone or other devices is when my child is napping or down for the night. So I don’t want to have to use that as a baby monitor as well. And like I said, the setup is incredibly simple. All you have to do is plug in the camera and your child’s room. And then you just turn on the monitor, the two connect to each other, and roughly a second or two, and you’re set to go. You can literally have this up and running in under a minute, taking. A look at the monitor itself. Again, it has a five-inch screen with a 720P resolution on the right-hand side, you have your buttons for navigation. On the left hand, you have a sound led bar on top. You have your on, off, and sleep button, your brightness adjustment, and volume adjustment. These are nice shortcuts to have compared to the previous model on the back, you have the folding antenna for better range. You have the speaker and you have the foldable kickstand. And on the left side, you have your power input. Now, when you turn on the monitor, you’re immediately shown the live video of the camera feed. On the top. You have kind of a status bar. You can see your connection level with the camera, how far you’re zoomed in. If it’s on night mode or not the volume level, which camera you’re looking at, the temperature, the time, and the battery level, you can move the camera around by pressing the arrows on the right side. And then you can start using the buttons to start interacting with the monitor. So you can press the zoom button to zoom in once. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: pan/tilt/zoom Or you can zoom in twice. If you really want to see something closer, you can press the talk button. If you want to use the two-way Intercom system, the OK button is kind of your select button or to change cameras. And then pressing the menu will bring up a list of other settings that you can adjust.The first one is sleep mode. You can set the display to go to sleep after a certain amount of time and just have the audio on to save the battery. You have an alarm timer that you can set. So if your child is on a feeding schedule and you know, you have to get them up at a certain time, you can set that here. You have an alert warning setting. So when the monitor is low on battery or out of range, you can get an alert tone and you can set what alert tone you want that to be. And the volume of it, you can add, delete, and view cameras. And then you have general settings where you can turn on or off noise reduction. You can set the time to temperature scale, whether you want that to be Fahrenheit or Celsius. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: Customization And then there are a few other settings that you can play with here. So that’s kind of a review of what you get and how to use it. Let me just go over my experience with infant optics. DXR-8 PRO over the last two months. And I have to say I’ve used a lot of baby monitors, but this one is my favorite, at least so far, because in my belief they took the DXR-8 . And while that was a great baby monitor, there was some issues with it that I wish they improved. And I think with the DXR-8 PRO, they took those issues and they fixed them all. And they came out with just a high-quality product here, specifically, the things I’m loving, like I said earlier, it runs on its own 2.4 gigahertz channel, the improved screen size, and the improved resolution. I think five-inch screen size is perfect to see things clearly. And a lot of people think seven 720P isn’t even full HD. How is that good? In my opinion, seven 20P on a five-inch screen is still a great resolution to see everything clearly that you need to see. And it still provides amazing battery life. Whereas if you get into higher resolutions, you’re going to start sacrificing battery life. And speaking of battery life, this one still has great battery life. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: table stand One of the best of any baby monitors that I have tested and battery life really depends on how you use this. If you have the display on for long periods of time, you’re going to get way less battery than someone that has the display on sleep and just use the sound. Or if you have the volume turned way up, that’s going to eat more battery than someone that has the volume turned down, same thing with brightness. But what I can tell you is that I have left the display on for an entire nap of my two-year-old, which is roughly three hours. And I still had plenty of battery life left. And at night I normally leave the display on until she falls asleep and then I’ll put the display on sleep and just use the volume. And there are periods where all go five, six hours without putting this on the charger. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO Baby Monitor Without Wi-Fi® FAQ If you are referring to a "sleep timer" after that of course there is. There is a set rest timer that the screen will certainly go blank (rest mode) but the monitor sound/lights are still on. You can simply touch the power switch as well as the screen will return up whenever you wish to see it again. It is designed to kind of hang from a screw-like image structure. I think there are 3d celebration adapters that will enable ceiling mount. The best big-screen baby cam non-WiFi® VTech VM919HD Video Monitor FAQ We apologize for the inconvenience, but it seems that you can't buy a second camera to go along with your VTech VM919 monitor. The night vision on the VTech VM919 has activated automatically, but you can turn it off by adjusting how close to an open window or light source (which will make things brighter) your child unit sits. The VTech VM919HD does not have Wi-Fi capability The best video baby monitor without WiFi® The best review VAVA wireless baby monitor no Wi-Fi® https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVa-JWSekdc The best review VAVA wireless baby monitor no Wi-Fi® Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. Today's video is going to be a little bit different. Today I'm going to be taking a break from the makeup and I'm gonna be showing you guys and talking to you guys all about my baby monitoring system that I've been using for a couple of months now. So it's just gonna be a quick little review and talking to you guys about it. My daughter is asleep right now, so if I sound like I'm a little bit quiet, that is why. But yeah, if you guys wanna see what baby monitoring system I use, then just keep on watching. Okay, so today I'm gonna be talking to you guys about my monitoring system and I'm gonna show you guys real quick the box. Whoa. This is the box right here. VAVA baby monitoring system and I'm absolutely in love with it is such a great monitor. This right here is exactly what the camera looks like. Excuse this mark. My little one went ahead and colored on it because that's her new favorite thing to do, color on everything. But this is exactly what the camera looks like here. I don't have it on me because like I said, she's napping so I'm using it on her. VAVA best review baby monitor without Wi-Fi® But it looks exactly like this and this camera here is able to move up and down and then it also is able to do a whole complete spin around to pan around your room. So yeah, I just wanted to show you guys really quick what the camera looked like because like I said, I don't have it on me. But let me talk to you guys about the actual little camera. So the camera, as I said, is able to move up and down and then it pans all around your entire room, which is amazing. It comes with the little lens that it originally comes with. I purchased on my own a wide-angle camera lens because of course, it's awesome to be able to pan around a room and zoom in and all that stuff if you need to but for me, I kinda wanted something that I was able to just hook up and see everything, which is why I purchased the wide-angle lens. I'm able to just look at her entire room without having to pan around and look for her if she's in a different area where the camera is not facing. So that's what was awesome about the actual lens. It does come with a regular lens as I said. If you're just using it just as they sleep above their crib or whatnot but for me, I was using it a lot for her playroom. Now that she's a little bit older, she's almost two, I let her play in her playroom if I have things that I have to do, like cleaning or things around the house. I let her be in her room without having to sit in there and just watch her. I'm able to just hook up her monitor and watch her as I do whatever I need to do. Another thing it has is a microphone on the actual camera, so if she's talking or saying anything or calling for me, I'm able to hear her perfectly because there is a camera on the, there's the camera, there's a microphone on that camera. So I'm able to hear her whenever she speaks or if she needed me or if she was stuck or any kind of thing going on, I would be able to hear her, which is something also that I loved. But yeah, that's pretty much the whole little camera system. I'm gonna talk to you guys now about the screen, which is this and I do have the screen right here. VAVA non Wi-Fi® baby monitor It is a five-inch screen, which is something that I loved, which was something that I wanted because I wanted something that was big and I'm able to just look at the screen and see what's going on. My previous monitor was pretty small, so I really had to really look to see what was going on, which I can just take a quick peek at and see. On this monitor, you have, of course, the menu button, which you're able to set it however you wanna set it. And then it has your zoom button and then it has your little roll here where you're able to pan around the room and see what's going on your arrows. And then down here, it is your talk button, which now I'm able to push and talk to her. I just pushed it on accident. So I'm able to push the button and talk to her while she's doing whatever she's doing. She doesn't have to push a button, I can easily just hear her talking, which I'm sure that's commonsense but I'm just gonna mention it anyway. So I'm able to talk to her here. And be like hey, don't do that or hey, I'm coming. Whatever the situation may be. As I said, I only use it for playtime in her room and when she's napping. So right now, she is napping, so I can show you guys quickly what that looks like. Another thing that I like is this one has, of course, they have the day and night mode. So in her playroom, it's in day mode but once she's asleep and it's dark, the theme is automatic. So the camera knows on its own that it needs to shift into night mode and it does that automatically. I don't have to switch it. With previous monitors that I had, I had to actually go in there and put it in night mode, where this one is smart enough that it just automatically goes straight into night mode, which is something that I absolutely love. VAVA baby monitor no Wi-Fi® needed So right now, as I said, she's napping, it's dark in there and it's in night mode. And you can see her right there. And the screen, as I said, it's so big. What I love is that the screen is so big, it is so crystal clear that you can see everything going on. You can even see her breathing, which is something that I love because, for the longest time, I wouldn't even let her nap alone because I wanted to watch her as she slept. So this took a really long time for me to leave her in the room by herself. First-time mom, I was paranoid, I was scared. Now I'm more comfortable because if you look at the monitor, it's so clear that I can see her as she's breathing and it gives me so much comfort being able to see that. It also, what was I gonna say? It's such a big screen but what I like is that it doesn't have much weight to it. So if I'm walking around the house, I'm able to just carry it along with me with my phone and it's not heavy but it's big is what I like. It has a wide range for you, I believe it's like 900 feet where you can take it away. So if I let my dogs go outside really quick to use the restroom, I can walk out there, stand on the porch and hold the monitor and there's no fuzziness, nothing going on like that. I can walk around my whole entire room into my garage, whatever the case, whatever I'm doing and the monitor is still crystal clear, no fuzziness. It has a very large range, which is what I love. For the most part, I just have it, it has a little kickstand. For the most part, I just have it sitting up on wherever I am and I'm just watching her, which is another thing that it like is that it has this little kickstand so you're able to prop it up anywhere you want. And then it also, let me see if I'm missing anything that it says here on the box. It is an HD camera. I don't know if I mentioned that already but it is HD. You can tell. It's super crisp, super clear. It's very much HD. It has a very long charge to it as well. I can get away with using it for about two and a half days in a row before having to recharge it again, which is something that I like to do because I do forget to plug it in every night because I do not use it at night.Her crib is in our bedroom right next to my bed. So I'm able to just peak in myself. So I do tend to forget to charge it at night, which is great that it lasts so long. It does have an alarm function on it, which I never use. I don't use the alarm function on it but it does have that. And then, of course, I mentioned the lens, how you're able to change it, which is amazing because you can have the standard lens that it comes with or the wide-angle lens. It says 100% digital privacy, no video or sound passed through the internet, which is another thing that's awesome because you don't want any of that stuff going on with your child. Another thing that it has is if say you have a second child and you need to watch both of them, you do not need to purchase a whole second system, you can just purchase an extra, let me place this down real quick, you can just purchase an extra camera like this and you're able to connect both of them up. I believe it's you can have four of them connected to one monitor at a time and you're able to switch back and forth. I believe I heard, I don't have, I only have one child, so I haven't had to use that function but I believe they said you can do like split screens and watch them all at the same time, which I think is amazing because monitoring systems are pretty pricey and you don't wanna have to buy more than one if you have more than one child. So I thought that that was a great thing that all you would need to purchase is a second camera, which is another thing we were considering doing because I have one in our bedroom at all times and I like to have one in her playroom instead of having to constantly take it back and forth. It's kind of a pain in the butt. So that's another thing we're planning on purchasing is a second camera. But I don't think I missed anything about it. Yeah, up to four cameras are what it says on here. Yeah, I believe that's everything about it. In the box, it just comes with your charger, your monitoring screen, and then the camera, plus of course, all the instructions that it comes within there. And very simple to set up. It's easy. That's another thing that I like was that it was easy to set up. My previous ones, like I keep saying my previous ones, were not very easy to set up. You just want something that's quick and easy because you're just trying to watch your child and make sure it looks good, right? So in my opinion, this has been by far the best camera that I have purchased. I did purchase this on Amazon because I wanted it fast. I believe it is the same price on their website as it is on Amazon. I just wanted it to come quickly. And I believe it was about 165. Yeah, 165, and then as I said, I also purchased the wide-angle lens on Amazon as well, which was very affordable. That was only 6.99. $6.99, which you can't beat. So I purchased that. I do have both lenses now. But for the most part, it is on the wide-angle lens. But yeah, so I think that's pretty much everything about this camera. What I would say is my absolute favorite, of course, is the big screen and how clear it is. You guys, as I said, you can literally see her taking her breaths as she's asleep. And that's something that I love. That's how you know it is super clear and super amazing. So if you guys are in the market for, oh, I did leave one thing out as well. It shows up here on the monitor the degrees it is in the room and then it also has the little moon here, which is telling me that it's in night vision and then of course, the time and your battery. And then, of course, the bars that you have here and then it does have this antenna. So that's pretty much it. So if you guys are in the market for a baby monitoring system, I would highly suggest the VAVA monitoring system because it's amazing. Read the full article
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Could you maybe do a smut where the reader never had a big o, and Sarah and kie got her a vibrator, and she thinks no ones home while she’s using it but jj is home to check on her and they end up doing a mutual masterbaustion
First Peak || JJ
okay but literally i feel so attacked by this because my friend told me that and i straight up pulled up bellesa asked her about her vulva and then picked out the vibrator i thought she would like best lmao. (not me answering this imediately)
word count: 1366
warnings: Smut, mutual masturbation, use of a toy
"Wait wait wait" Sarah stopped, looking at you with wide eyes and her mouth dropped open. "You are telling me that you have never had an orgasm?" Kie was looking at you with a similar expression to Sarah. "JJ has never given you one?" she clarifies.
"Um" you stuttered, stalling with heat rising through your body, you were embarrassed at yourself, the fact that you had never cum, never made your own toes curl. Your hand brushed over the back of your neck anxiously, worried about their reactions. "No, we um, we haven't really gotten their in our relationship" you muttered it, they had heard you earlier when they were talking about their best highs and you had blurted out that you didn't have any to rank.
"Oh we need to fix this, Kie, give me a phone" Sarah stuck her hand out, still intently wanting you as she waved her hand around gesticulating for a phone which Kie promptly set in her hand.
"We gonna find them a toy?" Kie inquires, scooting closer to Sarah on the log. Your eyes widened at her words, this wasn't the way that you thought this was going to go, you thought that they would be shocked and then they would move on but alas your friends were too good, they wanted to assure you felt good in every way possible.
"You bet your ass" Sarah exhales as she taps violently away at the screen before turning the phone to you "Which one do you like?" you were speechless at the sight in front of you, the screen filled with so many toys of all shapes and sizes, it was nearly intimidating and also...arousing?
"I don't exactly know what I am looking at" you mutter, scrolling through the options, was that a...tentacle shaped dildo? Some toys looked more appealing than others but you didn't wanna get too adventurous, you wanted to play it safe, not get too adventurous with something that you were going to have to learn the basics with.
"Just choose whatever you think will feel best" Sarah suggests, nudging you with her shoulder "And don't worry about the price, I'll just use my dad's card"
"Won't that show up on his credit card history that like...you bought a vibrator?" you looked at her in shock.
"Nah, it usually just says that I bought like a really expensive blouse from a boutique or something" she laughs before pointing back to the phone. "Now chose something!"
"Okay okay, I think I like this one" you spoke as you clicked on the icon of small bullet type vibe and handed her back the phone.
"Good choice for your first toy, I think you are gonna have A LOT of fun" she chuckles, adding the item to the cart and typing in here fathers credit card number. "It should show up at your house soon, let us know how it goes after" she wiggles her eye brows at you and returns to the previous conversation.
A week later the small unmarked package arrived on your front doorstep and even the concept of it had you fluttering in between your legs as you ran back to your room, closing the door and falling onto your bed, tearing open the cardboard and pulling out the small oblong with a soft button on the bottom to control the speeds, pressing the button and feeling how it shook in your palm.
"Oh fuck" muttering to yourself as you examined the object, feeling how it felt as it rolled across your skin before apprehensively rolling the plastic toy between your legs, your eyes immediately rolling back at the sudden pleasurable sensation. It felt like nothing you had ever felt before this insane sensation of a cold burning and it made you want to scream, so that is exactly what you did, letting the euphoric sounds escape your gaping mouth.
"Y/n? Are you okay? Why are you screa-holy fuck" a familiar voice came into your pleasure filled haze making you shoot up, your eyes rolling back and settling on a slightly burnt and sandy looking JJ leant against your doorframe with his arms crossed, his eyes wide as he examines the scene in front of him with joy.
"Fuck-uh-JJ!" you cry out, pulling the toy from between your legs and eyeing your boyfriend timidly.
"Don't stop on my account, seems like you were having fun" He was smiling at you, a genuine smile that also contained strong hints of temptation and arousal.
"Are you serious?" you gape at him, the toy still vibrating against your thigh, still tempting you, any apprehension that you would normally have melting away by the pure horniness that was burning against your skin.
"Oh yes, you think I am gonna pass up the opportunity to watch you get yourself off? You are strongly mistaken" he mutters, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, pushing you back with the force of his kiss. His fingers were dipping beneath your waistband, teasing the heated skin with his calloused touch. “Can we talk these off, wanna see you” he mumbles, pulling back and toying with the buttons on your shorts, you couldn’t form words, too wracked with lechery to truly convey how much you wanted him to take them off, to leave you bare for him to see. “Words, babe, need words”
“Yes, JJ, fuck, please” you groan and he doesn’t waist a second, pulling you off your clothing and letting your core become exposed to the air, the coolness of the room reaching your heat and making you gasp.
“You look so pretty, baby, so fucking pretty” JJ sighs, examining your cunt as he pulls back, tugging at his own shorts catching your attention.
“Wait, J babe, I am not ready for us to um” you stutter.
“Oh no, baby, no I know, I just um, I was gonna get myself off while you do you, like if thats alright” his ring clad hand scratched at the back of his neck anxiously thinking that he had overstepped.
“Fuck yes please” you whimper, setting your toy to the side and undoing his cargo shorts, tugging them down as he watched but you were intently eyeing his hard cock, your mouth watering. “Oh fuck yes” falling back against the bed you pull him down with you his cock brushing your stomach before he wraps a hand around it, tugging at the flushed flesh as you grasp out for your vibrator, bringing it to your now exposed cunt making your cry out, JJ watching you with hungry eyes as he kissed your lower lip passionately, drinking in the sounds of your moans as he groans against your chin.
“Fuck fuck fuck” moaning against your skin, it was burning everything was burning for the both of you and JJ was fighting a fast approaching orgasm, it was hard not to rush to the peak when he was watching his beautiful partner fuck themselves beneath him, he could hear the sounds your cunt was making and watched the way that your face pinched as your wrist hit his thigh while moving your toy.
“JJ, fuck, I-I-I’m think I’m cu-” you cut yourself off mid word with a loud cry, your back arching up into his chest as he sped up the pace of his hand, spilling his seed onto your bare abdomen, milking himself for everything that he had as he heard you get wetter and wetter, it was nearly overwhelming how hot it was.
When everything calmed down, JJ rolled off of you panting as he looked over at you with inquisitive eyes.
“What did you mean you ‘think’ you were cumming?” he asks, brushing his hand over your cheek(the on that wasn’t just on his dick)
“Oh uh, I had never had an orgasm before” you mumble, looking away from him as not to see his judgmental face but when he was silent you looked back at him, finding a soft smile on his face.
“Well I am glad I was here to experience it with you” he grins cheekily as he moves to press his hot mouth to yours.
♡Taglist♡
@hollandsvogue
#jj x reader#JJ fluff#jj maybank smut#jjxreader#jj x reader smut#jj x reader fluff#jj x reader filth#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj mayback x reader#obx#obx smut#obx fic#obx fanfiction#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank one shot
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☆ミ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”
PART 13: ...O-OH?
it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.
─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno
author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots
ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.
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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.
No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.
The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”
Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”
Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.
There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.
“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too.
More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.
Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby.
Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.
“Hey, dude!”
“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”
“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air.
“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.
“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”
-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully.
“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.
“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”
“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”
“Of course, baby.” You purr.
There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...
“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.
“You know it!”
“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”
“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”
“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”
“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.
its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me
ikr she looks ready to join the monastery
each day we stray closer to gods light???
Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.
The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”
“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.
“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby?
One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too.
Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”
Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”
“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”
“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”
“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.
“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.
“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”
“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”
corpse stop acting weird challenge
literally omg lmao
he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!
^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi
“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”
“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen.
Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.
“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.
“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”
You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.
With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.
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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration.
The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.
worried about this dynamic
its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz
Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.
“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”
“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.
“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.
“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”
You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.
“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”
You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”
“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”
“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”
“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.
“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.
“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised.
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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.
You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.
Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.
Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.
“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”
People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.
“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.
flame him
corpse boutta be a corpse fr
beat his ass queen!!!!!
“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”
“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”
“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”
“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”
“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.
“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”
“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”
“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”
“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.
“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”
The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls. The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”
“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.
“It’s Y/n.”
“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly, “get my pretty name out of your mouth.”
There’s a pause full of tense silence.
Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”
“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”
“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.
“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.
“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.
“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.
You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.”
“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”
“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”
“No, wait-”
“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.
“Y/n, please-”
“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.
“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.
“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis.
“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”
“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”
Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.
20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”
Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.
Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!
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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.
Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.
Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.
It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.
“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.
“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”
“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”
“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”
Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.
It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.
The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing.
“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”
“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”
“Maybe Momo?”
“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”
You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.
“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”
“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”
“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan.
“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.
Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.
now she notices
snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour
corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it
opening wattpad rn^
Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach.
“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”
Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno.
“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”
“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.
“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”
If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi.
why is that kinda hot tho omg
didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do
y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.
“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.
“Hm?”
“Was talking to the roaches.”
“What are they saying?”
“That I should betray you.”
“...Better not.”
A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”
“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”
“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!
“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”
You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”
“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”
You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”
“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.
“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”
You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”
He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”
Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”
“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”
“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”
It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.
y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge
making fanart of this omg her face
its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!
^she cant, it lives there
“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”
“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”
“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.
Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.
“Baby, you know what to do.”
The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”
“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”
“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”
“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.
“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”
“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.
“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”
You’re silent for a moment.
“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.
A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”
“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.
The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.
Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.
“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”
“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”
“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”
“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”
“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”
yeah he would be lmao
mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n
rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels
As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
TAGLIST IS CLOSED!
tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband x reader#corpse x reader#corpse social media au#corpse husband x y/n#corpse husband fanfic#social media au#corpse husband imagine#myso#make you say oh#sykkuno x reader#if ya squint#imagine#imagines#reader#reader insert
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Phone Call Anxiety
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: None
Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: When wanting to make quality merch, one needs a quality team there to produce and work on quality ideas. Great minds think alike. Great eyes see alike and great hands make alike - the three keys to the formula of creating a clothing line that will be fashionable and up to his brand. Luckily, Corpse knows just who to call.
Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your wonderful request, I absolutely loved the idea! Sorry you’ve had to wait for it to be turned into a fic for so long, but I still hope you come across it and give it a read in which case I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤
He’s not a fan of phone calls. Anyone who knows him even remotely is very well informed on Corpse’s distaste for phone calls and upholding a conversation over the phone. He’d even go as far as to say talking to a person face to face is less stressful for him than that previous option.
But still, seeing as how the person he’s trying to reach lives in a different state and is rather busy all the time, arranging an IRL meeting is basically impossible at the moment, and sending her a text results in running the risk of having the text overlooked or completely lost in the sea of notifications she probably gets on the daily.
Therefore, a phone call was his only proper way of reaching her. And it’s what’s got him pacing the room with his nervousness peaking. He doesn’t know anything about this girl, nothing concrete at least. He was referred to her by Jack who brought her up in their passing conversation when Corpse mentioned how paranoid he was regarding his upcoming merch project. He specifically stated he doesn’t want anything basic and he wants the clothes to be fashionable, suitable for anyone no matter the age or gender and to be endurable. With all the love he has for his fans, he doesn’t want to give them anything less than what they deserve - the best.
“My friend’s the person you’re looking for.“ Jack said enthusiastically and confidently, “She helped me design the latest merch line I put out and I’ve never been more satisfied with my own merch. I’m planning on offering her a position in Cloak for her birthday. Make sure not to let that one slip out if you give her a call though.“ He warned half-jokingly.
Bottom line, with that kind of intro, Corpse couldn’t help but let his interest be piqued. And so, he asked for this girl - Y/N’s contact info from Jack before he went to surf through her social media where she thankfully posted plenty of pictures of her creations, never failing to mention specifications in the caption of each picture so the viewers would get the perfect and most detailed idea of how high the standard for her work is.
And so he’s finally managed to talk himself into dialing her number that’s been sitting in his phone for weeks now. As he paces his living room, his nerves chewing him out like a dog would with a toy, listening to the ear piercing ring of the dial waiting to get picked up by the girl he’s trying to reach.
Just then, Corpse’s head turns so that his eyes meet the glowing red numbers on his digital clock on his desk and he damn near hangs up the call right away - it’s half an hour past midnight. Fast as lightning, he removes the phone from his ear, his thumb flying over to press the red ‘end call’ button. Just then, a faint ‘hello’ reaches his ears, coming from the phone’s speaker. She’s answered the call.
He hurries to put the phone back up to his ear.
“Hey, sorry for taking so long to pick up, I ought to clean my desk eventually cause my phone was literally BURIED under a pile of papers.“ A cheerful sing-song voice rattles his stale and sleep deprived consciousness, as if awakening him from a half-dream state. “You’re either a wrong number caller or a last minute client, aren’t you? Need something done urgently?“
Corpse is taken the hell aback by her strong and downright awing first impression. Not to mention her energy at an hour unsuitable for calls. Lord knows he wouldn’t have picked up if her were in her spot. With the intention of not wasting any more of her time than necessary, he hurries to explain his situation. “Y/N, right? Um no, I’m neither actually. I was told about you by a friend, he said you were a real miracle-doer with fashion design.” He trails off for a second, not completely sure of how to hold this conversation, “Uh, sorry for the odd timed call, I lost track of time. I’ve been meaning to call you for hours now but I...I was nervous.” He cringes the second the word leaves his lips, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He doesn’t know why he wants to leave her with a great, better than realistic impression of himself but he does and as of now he deems his attempts as ultimate failures.
He hears her giggle from her end, rifling through what sounds to be papers, “Yeah, I’m her. And boy is it refreshing to get someone who’s calling with an actual purpose.” She sighs as if a weight’s been lifted off her shoulders, “And don’t worry about the phone call anxiety. Makes two of us, to be honest.”
This catches him off-guard. The last thing he’d expect is for this girl to have phone call anxiety. In fact, she appears to be a natural, God-given talent at carrying conversations and upholding chit-chat with people. Maybe he’s a little too quick to judge - probably, considering he’s ‘known’ her for less than five minutes and knows nothing but her occupation, her name and the state she lives in - but that bubbly persona she greeted him with gave off the impression that it’s immune to any and all kinds of social anxiety - or anxiety in general. To hear such an honest and counter-to-assumptions confession on her part rattles him a tiny bit. In a good way though.
“How does that work for you? Isn’t your whole job depending on your phone conversational skills?“ He doesn’t mind that he didn’t phrase that too perfectly or that he straight up blurted it out. He knows he’ll be understood. She’s obviously a person who understands. Not just something specific, but everything. She simply understands. How he drew this conclusion and how accurate it is, he may not know until further notice.
“Well...“ she sighs as if genuinely looking to give him a proper answer, “You see, after doing it for so long and having been caught off guard quite a few times with some absolutely absurd orders, I’ve grown prepared of literally ANYTHING and I have a line prepared for anything the caller has to say. I just no longer let them catch me off guard and it’s fine. Helps avoid any possible awkward silences.“
Corpse’s eyebrows shoot up, her explanation only raising more questions rather than providing answers. But he’s not gonna be the annoying dumbass asking those questions at close to 1AM and bugging her. After all, if she agrees to this partnership, they’ll be hearing and potentially seeing a lot more of each other soon. “Impressive, honestly. You’re gonna need to teach me sometime.“ He’s unaware he’s smiling until he catches his reflection in the window. However, he doesn’t bother hiding it. This conversation is actually making him feel good, serving as a reminder that he’s not the only one who periodically goes through turmoil over small things.
She giggles again, this time the sound manages to draw a blush out of him, coating his cheeks, “I’d typically stray for revealing my secrets to professional success, but I’m willing to make an exception for you...” she pauses for a second as though she’s just now remembered something, “Oh shoot, I don’t even know your name.”
He wheezes out a nervous laugh, realizing he never introduced him, “Oh yeah, sorry, that’s my bad. My name’s Corpse, nice to meet ya.”
“Nice to meet you too, Corpse.“ Y/N replies, sounding pleased but teasing simultaneously, “Now tell me, you didn’t call me about my phone call secrets, did you? What may be the real purpose of your call?“
Oh shoot, he himself almost forgot what he was calling for. Luckily, the reference designs displayed on his computer screen remind him. “Right, well, I’ve been thinking of launching a new merch line either this month or the next, depending on how long the procedure will take, and I needed someone great on my team to make some merch actually worth the money people are paying for it. And, as I said, I was told you were in that ‘someone great’ category.”
“Told by who, if you don’t mind me asking?“ She briefly cuts him off, her voice now giving away the fact that she’s half-absent-minded in this conversation, added evidence be the ruffling of more papers on her end.
“Jack. I mean, Sean. You know, Jacksepticeye.“ Corpse explains, contemplating whether he should’ve ratted Jack out like that. Hearing the sound of delight Y/N lets out eases his worries ASAP though.
“Oh Gosh, I haven’t seen that cutie in so long! He’s like a brother to me so a friend of Jack’s is a friend of min-“ this time she cuts herself off so abruptly Corpse thought the line was cut or she hung up on him. She doesn’t let him wonder for long though, “Wait, wait, wait....Merch? And you’re friends with Jack?“ She pauses for a second once again, once again not a long enough second for Corpse to speak up. “You’re a famous YouTuber, aren’t you?“
He was completely unaware of the fact Y/N hadn’t realized he was someone famous yet. In fact, he didn’t think of it because he thought it wouldn’t be a big deal to her considering she’s friends with Jack-fucking-septiceye! In his mind, his ranking is far lower than Jack’s - despite that mindset being absurd - so the last thing he expected was for her to have some sort of impressed reaction to have been talking to him on the phone this whole time. Hell, she doesn’t even know his full YouTube name or what kind of content he produces.
“WAIT!“ She shouts urgently, startling him a tiny bit, “You’re Corpse Husband, aren’t you? Oh my God, yes you are, how didn’t I put it together sooner? Ah crap, I really need more coffee for this.“
“No! No, you need more sleep.“ Corpse hurries to correct her but is very clearly ignored or overlapped with the many sounds that are coming from her end, “What are you doing?“
“You’re getting the first rough sketch of a design by tomorrow morning.“ She says, taking a sip of whatever beverage she’s acquired for the purpose of keeping her awake, “You go ahead and get some sleep, I know exactly what I’m doing. Don’t worry about it.“
“I’m not worried about the design.“ He hurries to say before she, God forbid, hangs up on him, “It’s 1AM, woman, you need sleep! I don’t need those designs done by tomorrow. Hell, I don’t even need them this week!“
“You don’t, but I do.“ Y/N says, sounding almost breathless because of what seems to be overwhelming excitement, “You don’t get it - I’m designing merch for Corpse fucking Husband! You have any idea how crazy that is?“
“I personally would say it’s underwhelming. I mean, I’m no Pewdiepie, after all.“ He says, now sat at his desk with his free hand rubbing his temple as he stares at the designs he’s pulled up on his screen, ones he probably won’t need given that he’s now working with a professional.
“Oh, shut it.“ She chuckles, “Shut it and get some sleep, ok? I’ll talk to you in the morning.“
“Noooo...“ He leisurely stretches the word, “Tell me, Y/N, do you have Discord?” She clicks her tongue instantly, giving him a signal that the question he’s asked is bordering into the territory of ridiculous. He playfully rolls his eyes, “Alright then, lemme find you. If we’re partnering up on this, we’re both staying up.”
“You know you can just straight up tell me you don’t fully trust me with this? Like, I won’t be offended, I get it.“ She murmurs in-thought, the sound of clicking evident on her end.
“You know you can just straight up tell me you don’t want me bothering you and want me to leave you alone?“ He mimics her statement, smirking to himself as he pulls up Discord, knowing he’s already won.
She huffs and tells him her Discord info, quickly adding a small comment, “...but only because great minds think alike. I know we’ll be getting along on this design pretty nicely.”
“Yeah, yeah, right, sure, whatever you say.“ He laughs, “Accept my friend request and let’s drop this phone call.“
“Hey! - um, before we do that, I just wanna say a quick thank you.“ Y/N murmurs quietly, as if half-hoping he doesn’t hear her.
“For what?“ Corpse asks, his brows furrowing, unsure if they’re on the same page about this gratitude.
“For never once triggering my phone call anxiety.“ She admits, “I mean, I know I said I have lines prepared for every conversation scenario possible, but you totally caught me off-guard.“ She giggles a tiny bit, now sounding dangerously close to nervous, “But, not in a bad way, if that makes sense. Sorry if it doesn’t, I need more coffee.“
“No, no, it does!“ He hurries to reassure her, “It really does. And thank you too. Thank you for, you know, tolerating my BS at this hour. God knows I would’ve ignored your call if our roles were reversed.“
He hears her scoff and can’t help but laugh, “Huh ok, I see.“ She says, sounding greatly triggered and mock-pissed at his confession, “I’ll make sure to think of that next time you call me after midnight. Or at all, ever.“
Laughing his butt off, the only thing Corpse can think of in this moment is:
Damn, this girl and I are gonna get along
@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse
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hewo! for the affections number.. 16 is so cute.. would u be able to do headcanons of all the demon bros with it? if not, can u pls do levi then !
The Brothers + Simeon with #16!
16. taking a photo of them smiling or in their element
(lucifer's is here from a previous ask! and bc of that i added simeon only for having some lil funnies i hope you dont mind <3!!!)
Mammon
His collection is the largest, he flaunts it like collectables like cars or like Levi's figures. It is literally one of his biggest flexes and will use them like trading cards never wanting to send them in group chats or privately bc he took those ones get your own human >:(!
He will however hold his phone directly in one of their faces, waving the screen around to show how he has so many good ones.
He uses them for call screens, his lock screen, his home screen, any widget he can other than the Goldie one. He's a menace about it but do not call him out on it he will buy a second phone to use in the public.
Anyways, anyways for actually taking photos..
Mammon always takes too many, as in he will take a bunch within the same timespan because he doesn't trust his hands not to shake, so if he just takes a lot at one time so he can delete the others and save the best ones
But he just ends up keeping all of them, just favoriting the best or separating them into two albums of "valuables" and "treasures" depending on the quality.
Usually they will all have a small blur, him too excited at seeing whatever expression you wear, whether its a smile at seeing him purposely acting dumb or you enjoying a hobby.
He feeds a lot of unfiltered second hand serotonin off of you! Please do not disturb his "I have just had a very bad brotherly bonding experience, I must cope by looking at my photos of my human- No I'm not smiling already shut up"
Leviathan
Levi will use photos of you like wholesome memes so they carry the same energy as the hang in there cat poster, using different heart overlays and nice quotes
His are also a mixture of blurry but also high quality photos, for ones he takes.
This is because seeing you so dedicated or when you smile in his direction, his heart does this weird jumpstart the palpitations making him feel heavy yet light at the same time almost like a peach and its pit.
But he has a preference to use either this small tripod(he has it as a preparation for going to live shows) or a timer so its set away from him as he calls you over, its his own little trap.
His favorite, the majority of his collection, are those! It's photos of you being in frame with him in it as well because there's just something about how all that happiness of yours is completely focused on him, your smile as you walk over towards him sometimes blurry and mistimed so its only you entering the corner of the screen but you can tell how he takes your attention.
When getting in fights about who has the best photos, he will drop ones that are different hugs of him in your arms like he was a newly one plush. Mammon especially gets pissy about these as well as Belphie and Asmo.
If you can't turn your camera on when he calls or if he is locked in a raid that they're losing he would ask you for a selfie also, never requesting anything special other than just yourself but his favorite is when you send just smiles or videos of the which character are you filter :]!
Satan
Satan often tries to hide it, saying he's taking a photo of himself or checking his hair, maybe even going as far as saying the text on his study notes are too small so he has to hold it in front of his face so close.
Think about cowboys, shooting from the waist. That's him when you're too far away, maybe with a brother or during class or eating. He will scribble out his brother or purposely have the other cropped out of the shot.
He does have a lot of you when you're just turning around to face him and then your reaction, he can't resist the temptation of taking your attention when he's bored or waiting for his next book order to come in before he goes back to the cat behavior of only seeking out attention when he deems it necessary and otherwise pleased for a period of time.
He loves the ones where you look at him before he's ready, these are just slightly shaky from him jumping or pressing the button in an embarrassed panic at your smug yet happy expression.
Has definitely done the cut a hole in a newspaper and put his camera to it to look out like it was some camouflage but he's first, smiling much too hard and trying not to laugh at it, and second had seen it in multiple old movies and shows you had watched together.
Satan, speaking of movies, quite enjoys you in low light. On movie nights where your face is only illuminated by the projector screen and the photos turn out a bit grainy, there's something so romantic about you just existing in such an atmosphere. These ones he does like more when you're focused, looking far off with a small pleasant smile on your face at the soft plot of tonight's pick.
Asmodeus
Asmo will send you them all the time, he's like your own personal Devilgram manager he will even edit them for you and send the before and after of those photos too (MC: when did u take these??? Asmo: ,';p)
He will always have such good angles of you, from your side, from above or below, a 3/4, or full portrait, your silhouette. He may have one for each basic one at least though his favorites are above and below, these are the most personal feeling to him.
Usually these come as him trying to get your attention, bothering you with his phone and purposely leaving the little shutter noise on so you hear every single one while you're just trying to watch a DevilTube video or do something else.
Him snuggled into your side post cuddle just to lean up, phone in his hand and a menacing giggle, it's the first thing you see waking from your drowsy state is him on top of you trying to get cute pictures that he can use as teases as if something else was in progress.
Or ones where you roll on top of him, just trying to get up to see the dumb little flash as an alarm instead of his cute good morning kisses to your face(those are actually used to buy more time with you because he is allowed to be a little selfish as a treat)
He also has them set as his lockscreen and homescreen, these being photos of you together so he can have the best of both worlds, himself and your happy smiling face. He just finds it so cute, whenever you want an audience to see it he's in the first row.
Sends them to the group chat with his brothers to start some chaos
"My~ Isn't my dearest MC just the cutest?" Asmo has sent 28 attachments.
Beelzebub
His collection isn't one of the best out there but it is unique and keeps him content and happy, pleased.
He likes having photos of you for when you two are separated, it makes you feel closer to him and him to you
His may have some of the least blur, hands steady you work on something separately yet aware of the soft stare that was bearing into the side of your head.
He may forget sometimes about the sound so when you get the rare notification from his electronic betrayer it is free power to tease him, asking him if he wanted your attention or if he just took a photo of you and to be honest, then his photos if you let him continue for that setting are a little blurrier on your fine details. He's embarrassed.
He likes these more than ones with just your smile because then he isn't as satisficed because then he's thinking about how nice it looks in person and your laugh and when you let out a sigh being tired from your work, it'll be a cycle until he gives up and goes to see you in person.
But he likes the ones of you in your element very much and photos of you in general, saying that looking at them makes him feel "full"
He means to say complete, he's content and pleased and delighted and he has a reminder of you existing, that you're real and not a midnight sleep walk hallucination.
Belphegor
He has the smallest collection but next to rest, Beel, and his appearance he is mostly focused on capturing photos of you when he can.
He didn't get to really know you as long as his brothers have so its only fair he gets to spend more time with you than them until he's equal, and then some because you're really comfy and you make his twin happy? and then on top of that you make this face when you are concentrated and you smile different depending on if you're gonna laugh or if you're confident.
There's so much he has to memorize, he's rather demanding with having the attention so he may continue this personal agenda of his.
A lot of them are from similar angles, from laying with him in different positions but everything feeling relatively the same, normal. These are usually after he has woken up, not before he goes to bed so either it's your soft good morning smile, or your surprised "how long have you been awake" face, or you still asleep on your own.
Many of them often have his bed head just barely visible at the bottom, usually having laid on top of you and just using his selfie camera and angling it up to see you take up more of the screen.
For just being a pillow that moves a lot you definitely are photogenic.
He doesn't send his photos of you to chats but will save photos sent of you from everyone except Lucifer.
Simeon
PLEASE applaud.
It takes him such a long time, but Solomon gave him the idea saying it was something sweet you would also enjoy the concept of. So he is doing his best.
He will see you, just existing and his heart will swell, needing to pause a moment before kindly asking you to hold that thought and pose as he turns on his phone, maneuvering to the camera and trying to get it to focus on you perfectly.
It takes him a few minutes every time but he is getting better at it but his reaction is always the same, smiling at you showing up on his phone screen waiting for the picture to be taken.
He never can be sneaky about it unless he asks for help to get your photo, sending Luke on his biggest mission yet, a photo after he asks you what you thought of Simeon's cooking knowing you'll have that sweet face of genuine thought looking back on it.
But he has yet figured out how to turn the sound off and almost always accidentality flashes you up close, it's so bright.
He has the most blurry photos, and that's not on purpose but when he asks you to look at them with him so he can coo about how happy you look or how serious, its endearing with the blur especially as they clear up a bit continuing the timeline of photos.
He really does his best to have these mementos of you.
Is delighted when you surprise him by putting his favorite one of you as his home screen, he's so grateful let him match with you he wants to be yours too!
from this prompt list!
#anon my dear i hope u liked it :D!#tofu answers!#tofus lovable anons#obey me#obey me headcanons#om headcanons#obey me scenarios#obey me imagines#tofus blurbs!#obey me mammon#obey me simeon#obey me leviathan#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#obey me lucifer#obey me brothers#obswd
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can i request some fluff? literally anything just make it t o o t h - r o t t i n g
Fluff is my middle name 😏😘
Masterlist
Read it on ao3
Wc: 1.4k
Distraction- Anakin x gn Reader fluff
(Anakin distracts you while you try to study)
Your eyes ached as they took in the words on your computer screen. With every passing minute, you swore the letters were getting more tiny and blurry.
No… not just minutes. It had been hours since you started studying, but your tests were coming up fast and you had to know this stuff. The look on Anakin’s face mirrored exactly how you felt on the inside.
“Are you done yet?” He asked for the millionth time, perched on your bed with his arms behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles. You had convinced him to take a shower 10 minutes ago so he would stop bugging you as you worked, but now he was back and had been begging for attention ever since.
It certainly didn’t help your willpower that he looked so devastatingly handsome and cozy, his hair dark and dripping and cheeks rosy from the shower. He was wearing his sleep robe, which was wrapped half-hazardly around his bare torso, exposing patches of his muscled midriff. You tore your eyes away before they could stay there for too long and lose focus altogether.
“Almost,” you muttered the answer to his previous question, biting down on the end of your pen. You read another line, but couldn’t retain any of the words as your mind kept drifting to the restless Jedi in your bed.
“You done now?”
“Getting there.”
You just had to finish this page, summarize it in a doc, and then you could log out of everything. It should only take a few more minutes of focus, and then you could give all your attention to Anakin.
You blinked hard, took a deep breath, and then got back to reading. You had only gotten one more paragraph done when you felt two large arms slip around your waist.
“Please hurry up.”
He kissed your neck and then rested his chin gently on your shoulder, making goosebumps erupt all over your skin. You hadn’t realized how cold you were, now that his warm embrace was pressed against you.
“I’m trying,” you whined, bouncing your knee as you skimmed the rest of the reading, then clicked to a document page.
“Not hard enough,” he chuckled. You could feel the deep vibrations in his chest against your back, and you wanted nothing more than to melt into him and have him carry you off to bed. But no— you had to finish this.
“Hey…” you suddenly had an idea. “Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, compel me to do my work faster?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like… your Jedi mind tricks. You can make people do stuff. Make me do this.”
“That would be an invasion of your privacy,” his voice slipped past your ear like smooth velvet.
“Not if I’m asking for it.”
He sighed, breath tickling your neck. “Just finish up. I’m getting bored.”
“Oh, you’re bored? I’ve been working on this since 8 this morning!”
“Then you should be done by now.”
You groaned and set the pen in your grasp down so you could get typing. It was slightly unnerving having him read your work over your shoulder, but at this point you were so tired and burnt out that you didn’t care how bad it was. All you could really focus on was the feeling of his hands roaming over your sides and innocently slipping a few inches under your shirt.
“Anakin…” you warned.
“Just warming you up. You’re freezing.”
You bit your lip at his sly tone, but he was right. You kept working as he slowly rubbed some warmth back into your skin. Once you finished, you slammed the x button on all of your tabs and slapped your laptop closed. Sighing in relief, you leaned back into Anakin’s chest and held his hands against you.
“All done,” you smiled.
He responded by pressing a few more kisses into your cheek, trailing them up your face to your temple. “About time.”
“For real, though,” you spoke absentmindedly as you relished the feeling of his lips against your skin. “I want you to do that cool mind trick thing on me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, just to see,” you shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be anything big. How about you… make me pick up that pen?”
“You’re sure you’re okay with it?”
“Yeah! I just wanna know what it feels like.”
“It feels like you’re doing something against your will,” his tone wasn’t very happy, and you could tell you were teetering on a soft spot. You knew he didn’t often use Jedi mind control, even on enemies, and it had a lot to do with forcing people to do things unwillingly. And that, of course, tied into his awful past. But you were only asking out of curiosity, purely for innocent purposes, and he knew that. So he gave a little huff, and then pulled back so he could look at your face.
“You’re positive about this?”
“Making me pick up a pen isn’t a huge deal, Ani.”
“Alright,” he grimaced, then brought his metal hand before your face. To your pleasure, his glove was off and resting on the bedside dresser. You always liked seeing his arm free from its constraints, glinting gold in the low light and whirring softly as it moved. “If you hate this and never want me to do it ever again, just tell me.”
“Just do it,” you pressed, staring at the hand in anticipation.
“Ok. You will pick up that pen.”
He waved his hand in a downward motion as he said this, and then retracted it as you felt a weird sensation wash over your body. You wanted that pen. You reached for it as if it had been your own thought all along, and the feeling left as soon as you retrieved it from the desk.
“Woah,” you giggled, an excited smile washing over your face. “Make me do something else!”
“Really?” He let out a relieved laugh.
“Make me put it back!”
He shook his head at you, but waved his hand before your face again. “You will put the pen on the desk.”
Your arm instinctively reached out for the desk, dropping the pen back where it had come from. You gasped in delight, turning around in his embrace to look him fully in the face. “Make me do something else!”
“You’re having too much fun with this,” he muttered, fitting his hands around your waist and lifting you into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you over to the bed, laying you down and hovering over you. He nuzzled his head into your neck and pressed playful kisses into your skin, the ends of his hair tickling your cheek. “Besides, I don’t need to use mind control in order to make you do things for me.”
“Oh yeah?” You challenged, burying your hands in his damp hair as he left a trail of kisses downward.
“Mhm.”
“Well, we’ll see about that the next time you want me to make you a Ruby Bliel.”
He paused. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”
You smirked, knowing exactly what he had been insinuating. If you were being honest, he was right. You’d do anything he asked— but his ego did not need to know that.
“Can you show me more tricks?” You changed the subject.
“More tricks,” he settled back onto the bed beside you with a grunt, pulling you into him with his metal arm. “Is that what you call years of Jedi training?”
“That telekinesis stuff is cool. Make something float.”
“I’m just a toy to you.”
“Here, this,” you tossed a pillow into the air, but it landed back onto your stomach. “Make it float.”
You tossed it again, and this time it came down and stopped right before landing on you. It rose a few inches, and then moved behind you, nudging its way back behind your head.
“That’s so cool,” You looked at him, and he was smiling gently back at you. Suddenly, you felt cool air on your stomach and found that your shirt was slowly inching its way upward on its own. “Hey!”
He laughed and your shirt was put back to its normal position, his hand following to grip your side again as he pressed his smile against your lips.
“Anything else I can interest you with?”
#Anakin Skywalker#Anakin x reader#anakin fic#anakin fluff#he just wants attention#star wars prequels
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I am posting this mostly to get it off my chest, and I'll probably regret it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think the biggest problem I have with Fandom Wank(tm) in regards to positivity or negativity, is what bothers me has literally nothing to do with whether one's positivity/negativity will turn out to be right.
last night I followed a couple of posts and went down a rabbit hole of "series negativity" bashers' posts, bc apparently I hate myself and do not wish to be in a good mental space right now, and the common thread I noticed is that those who are overwhelmingly positive and take issue with criticism seem to be doing so bc they see their own versions of Loki being portrayed on-screen, either as how they've interpreted him as a character in generral or as how they've written him in fics. And not only are they fiercely protective of those versions but they also get validation from the confirmation that their Loki is The Right Loki(tm). Criticism takes the on-screen portrayal (and, subsequently, their own personal versions of The Right Loki(tm)) and says, uh, I can't actually see Loki doing this? I think this is ooc? I think Loki as portrayed here is not consistent with previous portrayals? -
- and suddenly you've got this rabid backlash on your hands where it becomes 'omg stop being toxic,' 'your headcanon is not canon' (look in the mirror), 'this is tom's loki so it's accurate,' 'i see no difference whatsoever in characterization y'all're just deluded and have invented a loki that never existed' (tf????), etc.
And I can't help but conclude that the backlash against criticism/negativity has nothing to do with the criticism itself; it's more to do with the undermining of someone else's validation in how they view this character.
This is purely speculation. There's some mental gymnastics here, admittedly. I could be way off base and I realize that I risk my post being shared and misconstrued and mocked by even posting it publicly. But the only reason I'm writing this - and thus getting it off my chest after my spiral down the rabbit hole - is bc from my point of view, I didn't feel like my experience in enjoying this tv show was being threatened until the discourse backlash over the negativity started spilling onto my dash. Not the negativity itself; the actual discourse. (And, look, there's a lot of negativity that's been posted that I don't agree with whatsoever, and there's other negativity that I may agree with but don't agree that it's an issue, or - my point is, this isn't bc I don't have conflict with the actual arguments themselves.)
Full disclosure: for the first three weeks, I was more positive than not regarding the show. (I think I still am.) I posted about what I liked but I also posted about what I felt was ooc and about the elements I liked less. A lot of my mutuals are not thrilled (to say the least) with the show, so there was already a ton of negativity on my dash and I personally went through a few minor meltdowns on whether or not I was on the right page with my enjoyment when so many others (whose opinions I trust and whose versions of Loki [that I've read] in fic ring true to me) were not sharing that enjoyment.
I did/have been talking it out with friends who feel similarly and I've more or less come to terms with being in the middle. And in the meantime, when I felt like the negativity was not something I wanted to be cognizant of, I skipped those posts entirely. Doing these things allowed me to come to terms with where I was standing regarding my overall feelings on the series, and overall enjoyment with my fandom experience.
And then, mostly after episode 3 (which seems to be the most divisive so far), discourse started popping up on my dash more and more. I'm defining discourse, in this context, as 'wank regarding whether or not Loki is actually ooc, wank over people who enjoy the show not wanting to see the negativity, wanky posts asking people who are critical to reserve judgement until the show has finished airing (but praise is fine)' -
- and suddenly, I feel much more self-conscious about posting my takes. Suddenly I feel much more anxiety about hitting the "post" button when said post is more critical than not. Suddenly I am worried about who, exactly and actually, is reading my posts? Who is going to decide to paraphrase my takes and include them in a 'guess what they're complaining about NOW' post? Who is going to decide to pass around a post I've made only to mock it, as has happened to some of my friends already?
Over the past three days, I have gotten 30+ new followers, and instead of feeling good about it - hey, some of these may be porn bots but still, people are interested in my blog?! - I feel just increasing anxiety about it bc, I mean, I don't know who anyone is or what they're here for.
I do not feel secure in the current fandom environment, is what I'm saying, and the reason I do not feel secure is not because of the negativity; it's because of the wank coming from the people who post about the negativity and mock the negativity and call other fans deluded stans who have a shitty grasp on characterization, story telling, and Loki in general. It's Ragnarok bullshit all over again, only worse.
And this circles me back to my original point, which is that the anxiety and the wank/discourse and whatever else really has nothing to do with the on-screen portrayal of Loki.
For me, personally? It took me awhile to realize it, admittedly, but I did realize that I do not care if what I perceive as ooc actually isn't. I do not care if the final product of Loki - once the entire series has aired - is a different Loki than what I've written and perceived as "my" Loki all this time. It's not going to make me feel like less of a fan or less valid; it's just going to make me feel like I have a perception of Loki that may differ in some ways with "canon Loki" but is still similar enough that I will continue to enjoy engaging with him and writing meta about him and writing fic about him and sharing those things with people who view Loki similarly. Likewise, I am not going to feel less valid as a writer and a critical thinker; it doesn't make me feel like I have anything to prove.
So if the root of the wank is coming down to the negativity making you feel less valid or less vindicated bc "your" Loki matches the show but is being called ooc by a lot of other fans, like, maybe take a step back and consider not taking it personally? Maybe really think about why the fact that negativity exists bothers you so much? Bc I mean, at the end of the day, it's not like Tom Hiddleston himself is going to descend from the clouds with a choir of angels singing and acknowledge any one of us as The One True Fan Who Has The Best Interpretation Ever of Loki. So what actual difference does it make if (we agree or disagree that) he's ooc or not?
Ultimately I'm just saying, there is definitely wank that is ruining the fandom atmosphere and the show in general, and it's not coming from those who are posting their negativity and criticism of the source material.
*Disclaimer that this is how I am perceiving and interpreting things today and possibly in general, but I'm not necessarily saying that my perception is factual to what is actually happening. I don't know what is happening. This is the guess that I've come up with in order to reconcile the fandom discomfort I feel, discomfort which is ruining the show for me, and where it's all coming from.
** Second disclaimer that I have unfollowed those who were participating in the wank, if I was following them in the first place, to the point that it made me uncomfortable, and obviously this post doesn't apply to everyone bc there is a certain amount of just being tired of it that I understand, so if we're mutuals, this doesn't apply to you regardless of where you stand on the wank.
*** Third disclaimer that said fandom environment is what makes me feel like I have to add disclaimers on every fucking thing I say, partly bc people read what they want to read and partly bc I have very debilitating anxiety regarding being misunderstood.
#fandom wank#i am going to regret posting this i already know it#but i'm posting it anyway not only to get it off my chest but#on the off chance someone else feels similarly and needs to see it#don't @ me#- or @ me if you really want to i suppose#loki tv series spoilers#kinda?#not really?#not sure how to tag this to avoid potential spoilers but#not tryna have this end up in any main tags either#which btw if you're gonna come at me don't come at me regarding negativity being posted in main tags and you wouldn't be commenting#on it if it wasn't there to begin with bc it doesn't negate that there's an issue at root here that is concerning but also#tumblr fucking sucks their tagging system sucks and their blocking system sucks so it's very likely that stuff that ends up#in the main tags got there accidentally or wasn't intended to be there so just use the nifty little scroll button#to scroll on by kthnx#well this post is an adventure isn't it#smh#tag rambles
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going in blind (luke alvez/reader)
{image id: gif of luke alvez holding two long sleeved button ups, the one on the left is gray and the one on the right is blue. A german shepard is in the foreground. the caption reads “the blue or the grey? hmm?” end image id}
Title: Going In Blind
Request: No
Couple: Luke Alvez with Visually Impaired Reader
Category: Fluff
Content Warning: swearing (if any), mentions of service/guide animals, mentions of serving in the army, brief mentions of PTSD, blind/visually impared!reader, if I missed anything or something else needs to be tagged, please message me and I will fix that!
Word Count: 2,885
Summary: Penelope sets Luke up on a blind date with one of her friends… What could possibly go wrong…?
Author’s Note: Welcome to day two of my 7 fics in 7 days event! We have more firsts with this piece of work. I tried my hardest to make this be screen reader-friendly, if this has any problems with that, please let me know. This also blocks off a square on my third (i know) bingo card. It’s for the blind date square on the @cmbingo card! Thank you all so much for the love and support! Check out my masterlist!
{***}{***}{***}
“Are you on tinder?” Penelope asked, looking over Luke’s shoulder. Luke was quick, jumping as he put his phone face down on his desk.
“What? No!” He looked over at his friend and colleague. He swallowed roughly, knowing that there was no way out of this one. Penelope already had the tools to find the truth. There was really no use hiding that from a woman like Penelope. Even if she wasn’t one of the best hackers he knew, Penelope would have worked it out of him no matter what.
“It looked like you were on tinder, Newbie,” she glared at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. Luke looked down at his phone for a brief moment, before looking up at his friend.
“He’s definitely doing something,” Spencer chimed in, looking away from his book. “He’s been picking up his phone and looking at it every other minute. That’s not an exaggeration,” he spoke looking back down at his book. Penelope looked back down at Luke with an excited smile.
“Yes, fine, I was on Tinder. It’s been awhile since things ended with Lisa and I wanted to… put myself out there, as some would say,” Luke spoke as he gestured towards his phone, “and, tinder is a viable way of doing that,” he looked up at his friend and shrugged.
“What if I set you up on a blind date?" Penelope smiled as she looked down at her co-worker.
“I… I guess… you can do that," he replied, furrowing his eyebrows. He wasn't too sure what to expect from Penelope when it came to a blind date.
“Oh sweetness! I know the perfect person!” Penelope clapped her hands together as she looked back at Luke. "I'll give them your number! And then you guys can plan a date or something!" she looked down at her friend with excitement.
{***}
"Roxy, blue or gray?" Luke looked at the German Shepard that was sitting on his bed. Roxy tilted her head to the side as she looked at her owner. Luke groaned as he looked at his pet, tossing both the shirts to his bed. He looked at the two clothing items before picking up the navy blue shirt and holding it to his chest.
“Blue might be best. Who doesn’t love blue?” he looked over at Roxxy with a smile before changing into the shirt. “Alright, Roxxy, wish me luck,” Luke whispered as he rubbed the dog’s head. With one last look at the animal, Luke left, hoping to make it there on time.
Unfortunately for him, time was not on his side and traffic ended up being his new friend. And when he did finally make it to the restaurant, he was a few minutes late. He rushed to the table, hoping they’d still be there.
“So sorry I’m late, I was trying to pick what color of shirt to wear and then traffic was a nightmare on the way here,” Luke chuckled as he sat down at the table across from them. They smiled and nodded, folding their hands over the table.
“Oh, oh it’s okay, really. I was a little nervous myself,” they laughed as they lifted a hand to their chest as they spoke. Luke looked at them and smiled. He silently prayed that this date wouldn’t crash and burn like previous dates he had been on.
But, little did he know, they were doing the same thing. They couldn’t even count how many dates they had gone on that failed harder than a teen who didn’t study for a test. They went into this date expecting it to have a bad outcome.
“Which color did you pick?” they asked like it was no big deal, like maybe he already knew the biggest, most obvious fact about them. They would have assumed that Penelope told him.
“Well, I, uh, I wore the blue shirt… I wasn’t sure which color to wear,” Luke laughed, watching as they started playing with their hands.
“So that’s what color it is,” they laughed lightly before blinking. The smile they had on their lips was very genuine. They were excited. Of course they were excited, someone was going on a date with them. And, so far so good, right?
Or, so they thought...
“I don’t… I don’t get it… Am I missing something,” Luke furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at them. They had their hands resting in their lap. As a certain nervousness took over, they began pulling at their fingers, popping each knuckle.
“Did Penelope not tell you,” they nervously chuckled, blinking slowly as they shifted in their seat.
“Tell me…? Tell me what?”
“I’m blind,” they chuckled again. The silence that fell between both of them was tense. It was obvious that Luke had no clue that they were blind. Of course, they went into this blind date knowing whoever it was might not have known it was a literal blind date. It wouldn’t have been the first, or last, time Penelope left that detail out.
“Oh… Oh… I’m… I’m so sorry,” Luke muttered as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. They laughed and shook their head.
“It’s okay. Really, it’s fine. I knew Penelope probably didn’t tell you,” they chuckled lightly before shrugging.
“I don’t know why Penelope didn’t mention that you… you’re blind,” Luke laughed as he brought his glass to his lips. They laughed and shook their head.
“I honestly wouldn’t put it past her… Wouldn’t be the first time she’s done that to me,” they smiled, reaching their hand out to feel for their glass of water. “Well, I’m not totally blind. I can see shapes if they’re being backlit. So, like if someone was standing in front of the sun,” their smiled and nodded before bringing the glass to their lips. After taking a sip, they carefully placed the cup back on the table. “Does that make sense?” they cocked their head to the side.
“Yeah, yeah it makes sense,” Luke nodded as he looked at them, “So, I picked a pretty good spot then, huh?” he asked as he realized that he was facing away from the sun.
“Well, I was the one who picked the spot, silly,” they couldn’t help but laugh. Luke felt somewhat comforted by their laughter, laughing lightly in return. “I knew the window seat would help me in that. It’s nice having the shape of my date,” they kept laughing. In their head that made sense, but thinking back about it now, they weren’t too sure if it made sense out loud.
“How… How did you go blind? If you don’t mind me asking,” Luke asked, his voice soft as he spoke. He wasn’t too sure if it was insensitive to ask that, but he was genuinely curious. If he didn’t find out through them, he would have just asked Penelope.
“Oh, uh, yeah you can ask,” they laughed again. Luke smiled, it was clear he really liked their laughter. Part of him was happy they couldn’t see how he looked at them. But the other part of him was upset that he couldn’t share the same things he saw with them. “I went blind when I was really young. I was like 5. If it wasn’t a million dollar word that you probably didn’t understand, I’d say it. But, I basically went blind because of an illness,” they smiled and nodded.
“Wow, I… I can’t even imagine…” Luke started but let his words trail off. Of course, how would anyone ever imagine being blind at such a young age? But they’ve heard that from so many people, and not just people they went on dates with, but friends, nurses, strangers on the street, and even family. They didn’t let it bother them though.
“Yeah, the number of times I’ve heard that,” they shrugged as they reached out for their glass of water again, “Trust me, it’s fine. I���ve been blind all my life, basically. I’m like a professional at it or something,” a small snicker came from them.
“Do you have a service animal?” Luke asked, watching as they expertly placed their water back down.
“His name is Pickles,” they smiled as they dropped their head down, “He’s a Labradoodle,” they felt happiness spread through their body as they talked more about their pet. Although, he was more than just a pet, than just a dog to them. Pickles was basically their best friend and family.
“I bet your Pickles and my Roxxy would be great friends,” Luke enthused with a laugh. Their head jerked up as if they looked at him the second he mentioned having a dog.
“Is Roxy a service animal?” they asked, resting their hands on the table. Luke smiled and nodded.
“Roxy helps with my PTSS…” he supplied a proper answer when he realized they didn’t see the nod.
“Oh my goodness,” they whispered, a sudden anxiety grew in their stomach as they thought of what to say next. But, they didn’t really know what to say.
“It’s all good now. Roxy’s my best friend. I’d be lost without her,” Luke swallowed roughly before nodding again.
“When did you serve? Where did you serve?” they asked, cocking their head to their shoulder.
“Uh, several years ago now. I served as part of the 75th Rangers in Iraq… with the U.S. Army,” his words got quiet as he spoke, but they were just loud enough for them to hear. They smiled and nodded.
“Thank you for your service, Luke,” the date whispered with a soft smile, “And now you work for the FBI."
“Yep! And now I work for the FBI,” Luke laughed and nodded, “Wouldn’t trade it for anything. My team is like my family,”
“You know, that wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard somebody say that. Penelope speaks so fondly of you,” his companion smiled as they ran their hand across the tablecloth. Their shoulders relaxed as they felt the fabric beneath their fingertips. “Well, she speaks fondly of everyone she knows, so I suppose it’s hard to judge that. But, she does talk about you and your team a lot. More often than anything else. Other than Sergio, of course,” they laughed, which in turn caused Luke to laugh.
“You’re not wrong. She really does talk about everyone she meets like they’ve done no wrong,” he agreed with a soft laugh.
“Which is impressive in her line of work, because of everything she sees. But I think that’s something Penelope and I have in common. I think too good of people. I think it would be too hard to work in the FBI, though,” they wrinkled their nose. “I’ve met some pretty shitty people but not serial killers… Not that bad,” they shrugged and dropped their shoulders.
Thankfully the moment was saved when the waitress came up to the table and took Luke and his date’s order. Playing it safe, they got spaghetti with sauce and cheese. Where as Luke ordered steak with vegetables.
“That sounds yummy. Hopefully it’s as good as it sounds,” they smiled and nodded. “Sorry I was intense about talking nice about other people. I don’t know. Working for the FBI sounds like it’d be cool, but very exhausting.”
“It is… It can be mentally and emotionally draining,” Luke nodded as he leaned over the table, resting his elbows on the edge to keep himself up. “But, it makes up for itself… See people be reunited with their families… It’s worth it then,” he nodded as he thought about previous cases he worked on.
“I’d never be able to do that,” they blinked before shaking their head, “I don’t know how Penelope does it,”
“A lot of courage. She surprises me everyday,” he laughed. This time it was their turn to appreciate his laughter. Though they couldn’t exactly see his face, they could imagine what was in front of them. The happiness and love he had for a friend. Luke’s date loved that he loved his friends like they were family.
“Anyways, enough about me and my work…” Luke cleared his throat as he watched his date rest their elbows on the table. “Tell me about you. Like, uh… What kind of music do you listen to?” he raised an eyebrow.
{***}{***}{***}
“You should have taken her seriously when she said blind date," Luke’s date chuckled lightly as the two of them walked down a cobblestone path. Their arm carefully rested on Luke's as they walked. Their other hand held their cane, tapping it across the ground in front of them.
"I agree, wasn't expecting it to be a literal blind date," Luke returned the chuckle, "But I had fun," he added as he looked down at his date.
"I did too. I'm kinda glad Penelope didn't tell you I'm blind," they laughed nervously. Truth be told, they were scared Luke would have ditched them. It’s happened before, what's not stopping it from happening again? They couldn't count how many times it has happened.
Luke abruptly stopped in his tracks as he looked down at his date. It caught them off guard, forcing them to turn and face him.
"What? Why'd we stop? Did something happen?" As the grip they had on his arm softened a little bit, the grip on their cane tightened. A certain fear filled their body, not sure what was happening at the moment.
"You know…” Luke started, pausing for a moment to find his words. The date pulled their hand from Luke’s arm as they turned to face him more. “I would have come whether Penelope told me you were blind or not," he continued, lifting a hand and resting it on their shoulder. They jumped slightly, not expecting the friendly gesture.
“I know… Well, actually, I don’t know. Because you wouldn’t be the first person to say that to me,” they swallowed roughly before dropping their head to the ground, “The number of failed dates I’ve gone on… Is a little embarrassing… And, the number of people who knew I was blind before the date and ditched… Is even worse,” they whispered as they stepped back away from Luke. Luke furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his date. He couldn’t figure out why someone would ditch someone as cool as them. So what if they couldn’t see as well as others, or at all? They still deserved to be treated like a normal human.
“You don’t deserve that,” he muttered as he stared at his date. They smiled and nodded, already knowing that. “And, frankly, this is the best date I’ve been on in a long time,”
“I’m glad to hear that. It was a pretty good date for me too,” they smiled, as their hand returned to his arm. “Where are we anyways?” they took a deep breath and shuffled closer to his body.
“Down the street from your apartment,” he replied, looking down the street.
“Did Penelope give you my address?” they tilted their head up to him as they spoke. Luke’s date wouldn’t put it past Penelope, honestly. They expected it.
“Yeah, she said I should pick you up. But you said you would take an Uber…” he replied with a nod, “When we left the restaurant, I parked a few blocks away from your apartment, so we could walk… And so this date wouldn’t end,” he laughed lightly. His date couldn’t stop the large smile growing on their lips, feeling their heart pitter-pattering quickly in their chest.
“You really mean that,” they stopped tapping their cane across the ground as they began trusting Luke.
“We'll have to do this again,” his date laughed as they turned to face Luke, “I had a lot of fun tonight,”
“Of course I mean that. I told you...This is the best date I’ve been on in a while,” Luke laughed as he sensed their new level of trust in him.
“I wish this night didn’t have to end,” they said with a bubbly smile. Luke enjoyed the excitement of his date and hummed in agreement. Even though they both wished the night could keep going, the two walked in a comfortable and warm silence to their apartment.
“Yes! We will. Maybe we can walk Pickles and Roxy in the park,” Luke smiled as he looked down at them.
And just as he got to the bottom step of the small staircase, he stopped for a brief moment before turning to his date. “I’ll see you later,” Luke smiled at them.
“I won’t,” the blind date smiled as they rested their hand on the railing beside them. Luke froze when he realized his verbal mistake. His mouth opening slightly as he looked up at them with shock in his eyes.
“Aw man, I totally fudged that, didn’t I?” he pointed at the date before shoving his hands in his pockets. They laughed and shook their head.
“No, no, don’t worry. It’s fine. I thought it was funny. It happens all the time, actually,” them smiled and nodded, “I better let you go. It was nice meeting you, Luke,” they grasped their cane with both their hands as they turned to face him more.
“I’ll definitely call you,”
“I’ll definitely text you,” the date grinned before turning and entering their apartment.
if you want to be a part of a taglst or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here
taglist: @mggsprettygirl , @thebluetint
#shadow posts stuff#shadow writes stuff#masterlist#luke alvez#luke alvez x reader#luke alvez x you#luke alvez fanfic#luke alvez fan fic#luke alvez fanfiction#luke alvez fan fiction#criminal minds fanfic
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In Their Own Bubble (Buddie)
Summary: The well rescue left Eddie uncomfortable with small spaces and absolutely hating the idea of being stuck somewhere. Things go south when Buck and Eddie get trapped in a small elevator while they are working.
Warnings: claustrophobia, panicking, vague mentions of being buried alive and nearly drowning
A/N: I found this tiny elevator (picture if someone wants to see how tiny it is) while working, and now literally every time I use that elevator I think of this fic idea. Shoutout to my friend Em (thatnerdemryn/@thatnerdemryn) who took this fic to a whole new level by saying that Eddie could be claustrophobic!
AO3
“... I’m going to take the stairs.”
“Don’t be silly,” Buck says and pulls Eddie into the elevator with him. It’s a tight fit, especially with the bag of gear they have with them, but they both get crammed in. “It’s a short ride to the roof, we’ll manage.”
Then when the doors slide closed and they are alone, Buck adds with a quieter tone and a wiggle of his eyebrows, “Gives me an excuse to be close to you.”
And close they are. With Buck leaning on the wall opposite to the buttons, Eddie has to lean to the mirror at the back of the elevator so as not to accidentally touch them. Buck looks at the floor and wonders if their boots would touch if they tried to stand on opposite sides of the elevator. It’s very clear that the elevator was added after the building was built and they had to make do with the space they had. Buck is just glad they aren’t wearing their turnout gear, even in their regular uniforms their arms are touching despite them almost being at opposite corners.
“We’re at work,” Eddie says with a pointed look as if to remind Buck.
Their relationship is still fairly new, and they had agreed early on that they would give the department zero reasons to separate them. They both love the team they have and like being able to have each other’s backs while on call. They both know not to risk it for a few stolen kisses during a shift. They spent months pining after each other without knowing that the other felt the same, waiting until the shift is over to kiss the other might feel like torture sometimes, but it’s nothing compared to that. They can wait.
Plus, neither of them is really ready for all the teasing that would come if their team knew that they were together, so it’s better to keep it between them (and Christopher, of course) for now.
“Is this elevator even meant to carry this much weight?” Eddie asks, and Buck can see that his boyfriend looks visibly uncomfortable. He pushes away the joke that’s ready on his tongue and answers honestly.
“Even when we count both of us and the gear we’re carrying, there’s still a long way to the maximum weight this elevator allows,” he assures Eddie and leans towards him to affectionately bump shoulders. “It’s going to be fine.”
As if on cue, the elevator makes a loud noise and stops abruptly, making both of them jolt forward a little. Buck glances at the screen showing where they are and sees that they are currently stuck on the seventh floor.
“I’m sorry,” Buck says, a hundred percent sure his words combined with his shitty luck are the reason they are currently stuck in an elevator.
Eddie doesn’t respond, and Buck watches as he frantically tries to push the buttons on the elevator, trying to make it work.
“This can’t be happening,” he mutters to himself and moves to the doors, trying to pry them open with his hands, but the doors don’t move.
“Eds?” Buck asks, getting worried. Eddie doesn’t panic, like, ever, and seeing him like this is really making Buck worry.
“We have to get out,” Eddie says, and for the first time since the elevator stopped, he looks at Buck. Buck can see that he’s starting to sweat and his eyes don’t stay on Buck for long, desperately looking for another way out.
“We will,” Buck says. “It’s going to be okay.”
Buck presses on the button of his radio and speaks to it, “Hey Cap? Eddie and I won’t be able to make it to the roof. The elevator is stuck on the seventh floor.”
“Copy that,” Bobby replies. “We’ll get to you as soon as we’ve helped the victim.”
Bobby is talking about the man they were supposed to be helping, a man who had gotten his head stuck on a small window as he had tried to stick his head out of it to get some fresh air. The man was on a top floor where their ladder wasn’t going to reach, so Buck and Eddie were supposed to go to the roof where one of them could have been lowered down to help the man from the outside.
Their gear bag sits with them in the elevator, but Buck knows they have more in the truck. The team will be okay without them, it’s just going to take a while longer for them to help the man. Luckily the situation isn’t dire, the man isn’t in pain or in danger and he can wait a little longer.
Eddie, however? Buck’s not sure if he can wait.
“Copy that,” Buck replies to Bobby and then turns his attention to Eddie. His breathing is turning more panicked and he’s running his hand through his hair, obviously nervous. Buck’s been in an elevator with Eddie before, and the man has never expressed being afraid of them so it leaves Buck a little confused.
“Eddie?” He asks. “What’s going on?”
“We should be helping that man,” Eddie says, “Instead of being able to do our job we are stuck here.”
It’s not the real reason, but Buck doesn’t push.
“The team will help us,” Buck says and sits down. There’s not enough room for him to straighten his legs, so he sits cross-legged. It makes his knees hit the sides of the elevator and leaves Eddie even less room to stand.
“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, looking at Buck like he grew a second head.
“I’m sitting down,” Buck says. “There’s nothing we can do other than wait.”
Eddie doesn’t respond. He goes back to pressing the buttons and Buck can see that his hands are trembling. He reaches up to hold one of them, giving it a comforting squeeze.
“We’re safe here,” Buck says gently. “The elevators have a ton of safety measures that prevent them from falling. It’s not uncommon that they stop, but it’s very very rare that they fall. We’ll be okay until our team gets to us. After that, I’m sure they have a joke or two about having to save us but I think we’ll survive those too.”
Buck’s attempt at lightening the situation doesn’t help Eddie, it almost looks like he doesn’t even hear Buck’s words, and Buck wonders where his head has gone. He wants to help but he has no idea how.
“Talk to me Eddie,” he says, his voice gentle. He brushes his thumb across Eddie’s knuckles and squeezes, getting a strong grip in response.
“I don’t like being stuck,” Eddie says, and his voice comes out strained like he’s forcing the words out through gritted teeth. “When I was in the well I-”
Eddie’s words get cut off by a strangled gasp and suddenly Buck knows exactly why Eddie is reacting so strongly to this.
“Hey,” Buck says and pulls on Eddie’s hand, trying to urge him down with him. Because of the tight fit, Eddie ends up in Buck’s lap and Buck helps him get comfortable so that Eddie is straddling Buck and they are chest to chest, forehead to forehead
Buck knows that they wouldn’t want to be seen like this on the job, that if their coworkers were to see them now they would get exactly the type of teasing they are trying to avoid, but the need for comfort and the need to comfort override that. Buck can’t just stand there when Eddie is struggling, and if someone tries to make fun of them Buck will have a word or two to tell them. And their team are good people, Buck knows that they wouldn’t actually make fun of them if they saw how Eddie was feeling, and by now it would be clear to everyone, not just for Buck’s practiced eye.
“You are not there,” Buck says softly. He doesn’t need to talk loudly because Eddie has his face close, his forehead against Buck’s, and Buck wants Eddie to focus on his voice, wants to create a bubble around them that’s safe and calming. “You're not alone. We are getting out of here. The team knows that we’re here and they know exactly where we are. They are coming, all we need to do is wait.”
Buck has heard enough about how Eddie felt in the well - whispered conversations after a nightmare or on a particularly rainy day that makes Eddie space out in front of the window - to know exactly what boxes to tick while listing differences.
“It’s warm here,” Buck says and moves his hands up and down Eddie’s back, both to provide more warmth and to remind him that he’s not alone. “I’m here.”
Eddie’s hold on the back of Buck’s shirt gets tighter.
“I know that,” Eddie says, his voice scratchy. “Intellectually I know that I’m not there but-”
Eddie trails off and Buck finishes for him, “But sometimes it’s a little harder to make your brain believe it.”
He feels Eddie nod against his forehead.
Buck is familiar with the feeling. Gets that sometimes when they are spending time near the pier, or when they are on the street and there’s a sudden loud noise.
“Well, I’m going to remind it as many times as it needs,” Buck says. “But I need you to take a deep breath first.”
Eddie’s breaths are too shallow and too quick. Buck doesn’t know if it is because he’s panicking, or if he’s reminded of being underground in a hole that had a limited amount of oxygen, or underwater where all he had was what little he had in his lungs.
Buck leans up to kiss Eddie’s forehead before returning to their previous position, their foreheads against each other’s.
“Take a deep breath in,” Buck says and brushes his hand up Eddie’s back. When he feels the back move under his hand, he brushes it back down. “And breathe out.”
They follow the pattern until Eddie’s breaths get steadier and longer and when his breathing is calmer and he no longer seems to be panicking, Buck brushes his hand up into Eddie’s hair and guides his head to Buck’s shoulder so that they can share a proper hug. Eddie no longer has a death grip on the back of Buck’s uniform shirt, but his arms are sure around Buck’s back. Buck keeps his hand on the back of Eddie’s head while the other is around his waist, keeping him steady on his lap.
Eddie hides his face in the space between Buck’s neck and shoulder and Buck starts brushing his hand through the hair, hoping it brings Eddie comfort, that it reminds him that he’s not alone. For the same reason, Buck keeps talking.
“What do you want to have for dinner today?” Buck asks, his voice still gentle.
“You want to talk about dinner plans?” Eddie asks and Buck is happy to hear some lightness return to his voice, even if he stays hiding in the crook of Buck’s neck. “Now?”
“I want to give your brain something else to think about,” Buck says and turns his head a fraction to kiss the side of Eddie’s head. “So, what do you want for dinner?”
They stay like that, talking about dinner and Christopher and the plans they have for their next day off. Buck’s bad leg starts to ache at some point because it’s been in the same position for a while and Eddie is kind of heavy, but Buck doesn’t mention it. Eddie seems comfortable hiding like this, and Buck doesn’t want to disturb the calm bubble they have.
What does burst their bubble is the crackle of the radio, and Bobby’s voice that follows.
“We are at the elevator now,” he says. “We’re going to open the doors. The elevator is halfway to the seventh floor so you’ll have to climb out.”
“Copy that,” Buck replies. Then, to Eddie, “I guess that’s our sign to move.”
Eddie nods, pulling back from Buck, but only enough so he can leave a soft kiss on his lips.
“Thank you.”
Buck smiles in reply, “Anytime.”
Eddie gets up first, and Buck tries to follow. He can’t hide the grimace as he tries to put weight on his leg, and Eddie notices.
“Your leg,” he says as he helps Buck up. “It’s hurting?”
“It’s no big deal,” Buck says. “It was just in the same position for too long.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Eddie asks, his brows furrowed.
“I had more important things to focus on,” Buck says gently, to which Eddie replies with a fond look followed by a roll of eyes.
“Idiot,” he says lovingly.
Buck doesn’t have time to reply before there’s a loud noise and the doors are being pried open.
“The rescue is here,” Chimney says as soon as they can see him. “I thought you guys were supposed to be working, not give us more work?”
“We didn’t exactly plan this,” Buck replies.
“You sure?” Hen asks, and when Buck looks at her he notices that she’s looking between them, to where they are still holding hands. Buck looks up at Eddie and the first thing he pays attention to is Eddie’s messy hair.
He knows what this looks like and knows it’s not the truth, but he’s not going to tell them the actual truth either. It’s for Eddie to share if he wants to. He just gives Hen a shrug and pushes Eddie towards the doors, letting him get out first.
When Eddie is out, Buck lifts the gear bag out of the elevator and follows suit. Getting out is easy, it only requires a little upper body strength, but getting up to standing proves to be a little more difficult because of his leg. Eddie is by his side immediately, helping him up.
“You two okay?” Bobby asks. “Did you get hurt when the elevator stopped?”
“No,” Eddie says. “But Buck’s leg is hurting.”
Buck gives Eddie a betrayed look but Eddie replies with a raise of his eyebrows that either says ‘do you really think they didn’t notice’ or ‘do you really think I’d let you hide an injury’, Buck’s not sure which.
“It’s fine,” Buck says. “It was just a little tight fit in that elevator. It will be fine once I get to stretch it.”
“How awful to be stuck in such a tight space,” Hen says as they start walking to their truck, the others leading the way as Buck and Eddie walk behind them. “Having to be so close. How did you pass all that time?”
Buck knows what she’s trying to imply, but even though it feels tempting to tell them that they don’t need to speculate about when they will get together since they already are, it’s more rewarding to know it’s a secret. Something just for them.
Buck looks at Eddie where he’s walking beside him, biting his lip and looking troubled. He’s probably thinking about what actually happened in the elevator, and knowing Eddie he doesn’t like the vulnerability he showed while stuck there. He’s getting more comfortable with being more open with Buck, but the idea of the team finding out probably sounds awful to him.
Buck catches his eye and gives him a comforting smile and once he sees Eddie return the smile, he gives him a wink, a reminder of their not-so-little secret.
“Actually,” Buck starts. “We made plans for what to eat for dinner.”
Buck keeps talking all the way to the truck, telling the team about this new pasta recipe he tried over the weekend and how it was the best thing he’s ever eaten (not counting Bobby’s meals, of course), and it’s like any other call they’ve been to. Just before they get in the truck, Eddie reaches over to give his hand a quick squeeze, a silent thank you.
Buck smiles at him and gets to the truck, eagerly waiting for their shift to end.
Most days, keeping their relationship a secret at work is easy. On some, like today, it’s a little harder to keep the touches casual and to keep the affectionate words unsaid. But at the end of the day, it’s worth it so they get to be in their own bubble for a while longer.
#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#9-1-1#my writing#guys that elevator!!#ah#what a wonderful little thing#anyways it's past 6am as i'm posting this so please be kind and ignore the mistakes
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9 Best Non-Wi-Fi® Baby Monitors
As a parent, you want the best for your baby. That includes having a way to monitor them when they are sleeping or taking their naps. Today we're going to talk about 9 of the best non-Wi-Fi® baby monitors on the market with pros and cons for each one so that you can find the perfect one for your needs! Comparison of best video baby monitor non-Wi-Fi® Top-list infant monitors with 2 cameras no Wi-Fi® Best long-range babies monitors without Wi-Fi® The best baby monitor without Wi-Fi® in 2023 1 Optics DXR-8 Pro Video Baby Monitor without WiFi® Review https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F7m4JSTItw Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO Unboxing & Review What’s going on everyone. My name is Erin, and this is Dad.0. Oh, now, because this is dad point. Oh, I do occasionally like to review some tech parenting products, including, but not limited to camera setup and baby monitoring. And it seems simple enough, but as a parent, this is one of the most important pieces of tech you’re going to buy. And you don’t really realize it until you buy one that doesn’t work brilliantly. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO Review And about a year ago, I reviewed one of the most popular baby monitors on Amazon. The infant optics DXR-8 PRO are eight and overall I did like it. However, it did have a pretty small display compared to a lot of other baby monitors out there. It only had a three-and-a-half-inch display and the resolution left a lot to be desired. However, infant optics has updated this baby monitor and now has this infant optics. DXR-8 eight PRO, which has a five-inch display, and finally has a 720 HD resolution. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: night mode So I decided to pick one up, compare it to the previous model and see if this is the best baby monitor on the market. First, I just want to show you what you get in the box with the DXR-8 PRO eight pro opening this up. You have the five-inch monitor on top, here again, 720P looks very similar to the previous model. Just a little bit bigger. You also have the camera again, it looks pretty similar to the previous model with kind of a silo design with a pivoting head. You also get charging cords and wall adapters for both. You get an additional zoom camera lens, and then also you get mounting screws to mount this on a wall. One of the things that I Love about the infant optics monitor Is that it runs on its own 2.4 gigahertz channel, which means you don’t have to connect this to your Wi-Fi® at all. You basically just plug it in and it connects to itself. And you’re set to go. Not only does this make for a super simple setup, but it also is more secure and reliable. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: wall mount camera If someone were to hack into your network, or if your router were to go down, you still have access to see your baby monitor. On top of that, I just really liked that it has its own monitor, and I don’t have to use an app or my phone or a different device as a baby monitor because some of the only times I get to use my phone or other devices is when my child is napping or down for the night. So I don’t want to have to use that as a baby monitor as well. And like I said, the setup is incredibly simple. All you have to do is plug in the camera and your child’s room. And then you just turn on the monitor, the two connect to each other, and roughly a second or two, and you’re set to go. You can literally have this up and running in under a minute, taking. A look at the monitor itself. Again, it has a five-inch screen with a 720P resolution on the right-hand side, you have your buttons for navigation. On the left hand, you have a sound led bar on top. You have your on, off, and sleep button, your brightness adjustment, and volume adjustment. These are nice shortcuts to have compared to the previous model on the back, you have the folding antenna for better range. You have the speaker and you have the foldable kickstand. And on the left side, you have your power input. Now, when you turn on the monitor, you’re immediately shown the live video of the camera feed. On the top. You have kind of a status bar. You can see your connection level with the camera, how far you’re zoomed in. If it’s on night mode or not the volume level, which camera you’re looking at, the temperature, the time, and the battery level, you can move the camera around by pressing the arrows on the right side. And then you can start using the buttons to start interacting with the monitor. So you can press the zoom button to zoom in once. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: pan/tilt/zoom Or you can zoom in twice. If you really want to see something closer, you can press the talk button. If you want to use the two-way Intercom system, the OK button is kind of your select button or to change cameras. And then pressing the menu will bring up a list of other settings that you can adjust.The first one is sleep mode. You can set the display to go to sleep after a certain amount of time and just have the audio on to save the battery. You have an alarm timer that you can set. So if your child is on a feeding schedule and you know, you have to get them up at a certain time, you can set that here. You have an alert warning setting. So when the monitor is low on battery or out of range, you can get an alert tone and you can set what alert tone you want that to be. And the volume of it, you can add, delete, and view cameras. And then you have general settings where you can turn on or off noise reduction. You can set the time to temperature scale, whether you want that to be Fahrenheit or Celsius. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: Customization And then there are a few other settings that you can play with here. So that’s kind of a review of what you get and how to use it. Let me just go over my experience with infant optics. DXR-8 PRO over the last two months. And I have to say I’ve used a lot of baby monitors, but this one is my favorite, at least so far, because in my belief they took the DXR-8 . And while that was a great baby monitor, there was some issues with it that I wish they improved. And I think with the DXR-8 PRO, they took those issues and they fixed them all. And they came out with just a high-quality product here, specifically, the things I’m loving, like I said earlier, it runs on its own 2.4 gigahertz channel, the improved screen size, and the improved resolution. I think five-inch screen size is perfect to see things clearly. And a lot of people think seven 720P isn’t even full HD. How is that good? In my opinion, seven 20P on a five-inch screen is still a great resolution to see everything clearly that you need to see. And it still provides amazing battery life. Whereas if you get into higher resolutions, you’re going to start sacrificing battery life. And speaking of battery life, this one still has great battery life. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO: table stand One of the best of any baby monitors that I have tested and battery life really depends on how you use this. If you have the display on for long periods of time, you’re going to get way less battery than someone that has the display on sleep and just use the sound. Or if you have the volume turned way up, that’s going to eat more battery than someone that has the volume turned down, same thing with brightness. But what I can tell you is that I have left the display on for an entire nap of my two-year-old, which is roughly three hours. And I still had plenty of battery life left. And at night I normally leave the display on until she falls asleep and then I’ll put the display on sleep and just use the volume. And there are periods where all go five, six hours without putting this on the charger. Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO Baby Monitor Without Wi-Fi® FAQ If you are referring to a "sleep timer" after that of course there is. There is a set rest timer that the screen will certainly go blank (rest mode) but the monitor sound/lights are still on. You can simply touch the power switch as well as the screen will return up whenever you wish to see it again. It is designed to kind of hang from a screw-like image structure. I think there are 3d celebration adapters that will enable ceiling mount. The best big-screen baby cam non-WiFi® VTech VM919HD Video Monitor FAQ We apologize for the inconvenience, but it seems that you can't buy a second camera to go along with your VTech VM919 monitor. The night vision on the VTech VM919 has activated automatically, but you can turn it off by adjusting how close to an open window or light source (which will make things brighter) your child unit sits. The VTech VM919HD does not have Wi-Fi capability The best video baby monitor without WiFi® The best review VAVA wireless baby monitor no Wi-Fi® https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVa-JWSekdc The best review VAVA wireless baby monitor no Wi-Fi® Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. Today's video is going to be a little bit different. Today I'm going to be taking a break from the makeup and I'm gonna be showing you guys and talking to you guys all about my baby monitoring system that I've been using for a couple of months now. So it's just gonna be a quick little review and talking to you guys about it. My daughter is asleep right now, so if I sound like I'm a little bit quiet, that is why. But yeah, if you guys wanna see what baby monitoring system I use, then just keep on watching. Okay, so today I'm gonna be talking to you guys about my monitoring system and I'm gonna show you guys real quick the box. Whoa. This is the box right here. VAVA baby monitoring system and I'm absolutely in love with it is such a great monitor. This right here is exactly what the camera looks like. Excuse this mark. My little one went ahead and colored on it because that's her new favorite thing to do, color on everything. But this is exactly what the camera looks like here. I don't have it on me because like I said, she's napping so I'm using it on her. VAVA best review baby monitor without Wi-Fi® But it looks exactly like this and this camera here is able to move up and down and then it also is able to do a whole complete spin around to pan around your room. So yeah, I just wanted to show you guys really quick what the camera looked like because like I said, I don't have it on me. But let me talk to you guys about the actual little camera. So the camera, as I said, is able to move up and down and then it pans all around your entire room, which is amazing. It comes with the little lens that it originally comes with. I purchased on my own a wide-angle camera lens because of course, it's awesome to be able to pan around a room and zoom in and all that stuff if you need to but for me, I kinda wanted something that I was able to just hook up and see everything, which is why I purchased the wide-angle lens. I'm able to just look at her entire room without having to pan around and look for her if she's in a different area where the camera is not facing. So that's what was awesome about the actual lens. It does come with a regular lens as I said. If you're just using it just as they sleep above their crib or whatnot but for me, I was using it a lot for her playroom. Now that she's a little bit older, she's almost two, I let her play in her playroom if I have things that I have to do, like cleaning or things around the house. I let her be in her room without having to sit in there and just watch her. I'm able to just hook up her monitor and watch her as I do whatever I need to do. Another thing it has is a microphone on the actual camera, so if she's talking or saying anything or calling for me, I'm able to hear her perfectly because there is a camera on the, there's the camera, there's a microphone on that camera. So I'm able to hear her whenever she speaks or if she needed me or if she was stuck or any kind of thing going on, I would be able to hear her, which is something also that I loved. But yeah, that's pretty much the whole little camera system. I'm gonna talk to you guys now about the screen, which is this and I do have the screen right here. VAVA non Wi-Fi® baby monitor It is a five-inch screen, which is something that I loved, which was something that I wanted because I wanted something that was big and I'm able to just look at the screen and see what's going on. My previous monitor was pretty small, so I really had to really look to see what was going on, which I can just take a quick peek at and see. On this monitor, you have, of course, the menu button, which you're able to set it however you wanna set it. And then it has your zoom button and then it has your little roll here where you're able to pan around the room and see what's going on your arrows. And then down here, it is your talk button, which now I'm able to push and talk to her. I just pushed it on accident. So I'm able to push the button and talk to her while she's doing whatever she's doing. She doesn't have to push a button, I can easily just hear her talking, which I'm sure that's commonsense but I'm just gonna mention it anyway. So I'm able to talk to her here. And be like hey, don't do that or hey, I'm coming. Whatever the situation may be. As I said, I only use it for playtime in her room and when she's napping. So right now, she is napping, so I can show you guys quickly what that looks like. Another thing that I like is this one has, of course, they have the day and night mode. So in her playroom, it's in day mode but once she's asleep and it's dark, the theme is automatic. So the camera knows on its own that it needs to shift into night mode and it does that automatically. I don't have to switch it. With previous monitors that I had, I had to actually go in there and put it in night mode, where this one is smart enough that it just automatically goes straight into night mode, which is something that I absolutely love. VAVA baby monitor no Wi-Fi® needed So right now, as I said, she's napping, it's dark in there and it's in night mode. And you can see her right there. And the screen, as I said, it's so big. What I love is that the screen is so big, it is so crystal clear that you can see everything going on. You can even see her breathing, which is something that I love because, for the longest time, I wouldn't even let her nap alone because I wanted to watch her as she slept. So this took a really long time for me to leave her in the room by herself. First-time mom, I was paranoid, I was scared. Now I'm more comfortable because if you look at the monitor, it's so clear that I can see her as she's breathing and it gives me so much comfort being able to see that. It also, what was I gonna say? It's such a big screen but what I like is that it doesn't have much weight to it. So if I'm walking around the house, I'm able to just carry it along with me with my phone and it's not heavy but it's big is what I like. It has a wide range for you, I believe it's like 900 feet where you can take it away. So if I let my dogs go outside really quick to use the restroom, I can walk out there, stand on the porch and hold the monitor and there's no fuzziness, nothing going on like that. I can walk around my whole entire room into my garage, whatever the case, whatever I'm doing and the monitor is still crystal clear, no fuzziness. It has a very large range, which is what I love. For the most part, I just have it, it has a little kickstand. For the most part, I just have it sitting up on wherever I am and I'm just watching her, which is another thing that it like is that it has this little kickstand so you're able to prop it up anywhere you want. And then it also, let me see if I'm missing anything that it says here on the box. It is an HD camera. I don't know if I mentioned that already but it is HD. You can tell. It's super crisp, super clear. It's very much HD. It has a very long charge to it as well. I can get away with using it for about two and a half days in a row before having to recharge it again, which is something that I like to do because I do forget to plug it in every night because I do not use it at night.Her crib is in our bedroom right next to my bed. So I'm able to just peak in myself. So I do tend to forget to charge it at night, which is great that it lasts so long. It does have an alarm function on it, which I never use. I don't use the alarm function on it but it does have that. And then, of course, I mentioned the lens, how you're able to change it, which is amazing because you can have the standard lens that it comes with or the wide-angle lens. It says 100% digital privacy, no video or sound passed through the internet, which is another thing that's awesome because you don't want any of that stuff going on with your child. Another thing that it has is if say you have a second child and you need to watch both of them, you do not need to purchase a whole second system, you can just purchase an extra, let me place this down real quick, you can just purchase an extra camera like this and you're able to connect both of them up. I believe it's you can have four of them connected to one monitor at a time and you're able to switch back and forth. I believe I heard, I don't have, I only have one child, so I haven't had to use that function but I believe they said you can do like split screens and watch them all at the same time, which I think is amazing because monitoring systems are pretty pricey and you don't wanna have to buy more than one if you have more than one child. So I thought that that was a great thing that all you would need to purchase is a second camera, which is another thing we were considering doing because I have one in our bedroom at all times and I like to have one in her playroom instead of having to constantly take it back and forth. It's kind of a pain in the butt. So that's another thing we're planning on purchasing is a second camera. But I don't think I missed anything about it. Yeah, up to four cameras are what it says on here. Yeah, I believe that's everything about it. In the box, it just comes with your charger, your monitoring screen, and then the camera, plus of course, all the instructions that it comes within there. And very simple to set up. It's easy. That's another thing that I like was that it was easy to set up. My previous ones, like I keep saying my previous ones, were not very easy to set up. You just want something that's quick and easy because you're just trying to watch your child and make sure it looks good, right? So in my opinion, this has been by far the best camera that I have purchased. I did purchase this on Amazon because I wanted it fast. I believe it is the same price on their website as it is on Amazon. I just wanted it to come quickly. And I believe it was about 165. Yeah, 165, and then as I said, I also purchased the wide-angle lens on Amazon as well, which was very affordable. That was only 6.99. $6.99, which you can't beat. So I purchased that. I do have both lenses now. But for the most part, it is on the wide-angle lens. But yeah, so I think that's pretty much everything about this camera. What I would say is my absolute favorite, of course, is the big screen and how clear it is. You guys, as I said, you can literally see her taking her breaths as she's asleep. And that's something that I love. That's how you know it is super clear and super amazing. So if you guys are in the market for, oh, I did leave one thing out as well. It shows up here on the monitor the degrees it is in the room and then it also has the little moon here, which is telling me that it's in night vision and then of course, the time and your battery. And then, of course, the bars that you have here and then it does have this antenna. So that's pretty much it. So if you guys are in the market for a baby monitoring system, I would highly suggest the VAVA monitoring system because it's amazing. Read the full article
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As you may know, Black Clover is having an online exhibition. If you look at it here (has to be on mobile though) you see 0/20 and 0% in the corner. I saw the screenshots that some people shared also have zeroes and wondered... After some clicking around and struggling with Japanese, I’ve gotten a full score :D
So for those who want to know what to do, or can’t see the exhibition yourself for whatever reason, I’ve made a walkthrough that’s what it’s called right?
First, you’re asked to please turn on the sound and enjoy. There’s an ON and OFF option
Devil Possessed Work Is On Display. DEVILS AND ~THE DON’T GIVE UP MAGICAL EXHIBIT~ Black Clover 6th Year Anniversary Celebration
The Spade Kingdom’s evil devil hosts have set their hands on Black Clover’s online exhibition, the “Don’t Give Up Magical Exhibit”, from the 5th year anniversary celebration!? Only the “devil-possessed works” were shining a suspicious light in the transformed exhibition hall.
[yellow/gold box] To the Devils and Don’t Give Up Magical Exhibit >>
Asta has newly awakened devil power!? -- Together with the devil Liebe, get power to confront the invasion of the Spade Kingdom, including the Dark Triad!
[white/silver box] To the Don’t Give Up Magical Exhibit >>
Complete Revival of the “Won’t Give Up Magical Exhibit”!? -- Because of the Spade Kingdom’s invasion, the “Don’t Give Up Magical Exhibit” has ended up in miserable condition, but Nero’s sealing magic has succeeded in completely returning it to the way it used to be! Let’s dive into the work and explore Asta and friend’s “won’t give up magic”
I recommend starting with the previous year’s exhibit, so flip your phone to the side and click the white box with Nero on the corner..~
A little tutorial: you can click in the picture frames, swipe, and pinch the screen. Nero says “I’ll tell you if you get lost. Don’t worry.”
“Not giving up magic” isn’t only Asta’s magic.
Everyone who supported Black Clover will surely have the power of “not giving up magic.” Now, with your magic power, let’s dive into the world of Black Clover’s story.
PROMISE -- 約束 (yakusoku) -- The source of the power of Asta’s “not giving up magic” was a “promise” with his rival, who pursues the dream that they can never give up on, called “to become the Wizard King.”
Nero says “Tap the framed picture.”
This causes a little manga movie to play - about Asta and Yuno of course. Their promise, words exchanged at the dungeon, that time they saved Hage, and times they fought side by side in the Elf Arc are shown. When it comes to an end, it displays this manga spread:
Nero says “Tap the demon’s bones...”
This plays a manga movie about Licht’s and Lumiere’s tragic battle...
Nero says “Tap the icon on the upper left to return to the original world.”
You’ll be taken back the Promise screen and should now have 1/20 at the bottom corner
PRIDE -- 誇り (hokori) -- Magic Knight Squads that protect the world with magical power. The Wizard King with the magic knight captains whom he brings together. It is that “pride” built up due to their overwhelming achievements that is the source of power.
Again, tap the framed pictures. A slideshow of their most prominent moments (before the timeskip) play. At the end is a panel of their most impressive spell at least that’s what I think they were trying to do here?
Nero says “You want to know more about your comrades right”
Tap the yellow button next to her (it says “see details+”). This pops up:
At the top is their type of magic. Then a short description about them. The rest is mostly stats that were already in their manga profile’s + a little extra. In order it’s: {their name ☘, age, height, birthday, sign, blood type, favorite thing, birthplace, and rank}
Yami’s birthplace is the Land of the Sun; Dorothy’s is the Witch’s Forest; Jack’s is in the Common Realm; everyone else was born in the Noble Realm
COMPLEX -- 劣等感 (rettoukan) -- A person who can deal with their “inferiority complex” is also a blessed person who has the chance to become stronger than anyone else.
*note: the kanji specifically refers to “inferiority complex”
A manga movie about her struggles with magic plays, then switches to this:
Nero says “Pinch out and move forward.”
As you “zoom in” panels of Noelle’s development with spells, from Sea Dragon’s Lair to Valkyrie Dress, rotate around, ending with:
“I... won....!!”
FRIENDSHIP -- 絆 (kizuna) -- For their precious friends, sometimes a person can even go as far as surpassing their limits. A magic blow vested with the “bonds” of friends has defeated any despair.
*note: the kanji means “bonds (between people)”
Nero says “If you look at all the framed pictures of bonds…”
When you click on each framed picture, you get panels like in the Complex section but these one’s don’t rotate
It focuses on an important fight for each Black Bull, I think one that emphasizes their bonds with someone and/or teamwork. Magna & Luck share framed pictures; Gauche, Gordon, Grey and Henry share another. Usually at the end you see the kanji for their magic attribute (Charmy’s ends with “food magic”)
Like with the captains, there’s also a panel of them looking impressive. Again, Nero says “You want to learn more about your friends right.”
At the top is their name, description about them, then Profile ☘ and stats in the same order as the captain’s in the Pride section. I want to note that Charmy’s birthplace is literally “?”
But Before You Finish Looking At All The Frames-!! swipe left and take a look 👀
Try to tap this~ Nero says “If you look at all the framed pictures, there will be something good.”
After you watch the 8th one, you’ll find that the middle frame has lit up
“Tap the framed picture” Nero says. A manga movie about the Black Bulls plays, showing their good and awesome times, then ending in the group shot of when they busted in during Asta’s and Nero’s trial --but wait!! there’s more!!!
We’re moving left-?! Omg SECRE-!??
“Well done, you undid the seal.”
“I will undo the seal with my magic.”
Sealing Magic
Inverse Release
LOVE -- 愛 (ai) -- The magic of Black Clover has been sustained by the “love” of everyone who continuously supported all the characters, including Asta and Yuno, and this story. Thank you very much for so much “love.”
That’s right: you just unlocked Love :’)
Tapping it opens up a high-quality image that you can download for yourself.
Nero says “It’s a commemorative wallpaper. It’s yours.”
☘ Instant Posting Magic ☘ Let’s share with everyone that we came to play Black Clover’s 5th anniversary project “Never Giving Up Magic” 📖 Use Instant Posting Magic
Tapping that opens up twitter. Nero says “Post in celebration.”
--but wait! there’s even more!! swipe one more time 👀
Zenon, what are you doing here? staring at a framed picture of the Heart Kingdom... Tap it, Nero says
oh shit
a preview of volume 25 plays
Click Here For Part 2~! ☠
※✧※
*Disclaimer: The exhibit used 諦めない魔法 (akiramenai mahou). Akiramenai is the negative form of the verb akirameru "to give up" and mahou is "magic." It's definitely a reference to Asta's "my magic is never giving up" line, and I guess it could be translated as "magic that doesn't give up" but doesn't that make it sound like he has magic? This becomes more of an issue when they begin to apply it to others beside Asta... So yeah, sorry that sounds awkward. Also depending on context and because I got tired of repeating the same phrase I changed the form from "don't give up" to "not giving up" and others.
I was using google translate quite a bit, after I looked up kanji by parts because I couldn't copy-paste the pictures (it was decent practice; I think I can totally identify the word "not giving up" now). This isn't an official release, but I did try to clean things up to at least sound coherent and give you a better idea of what's going on.
#black clover#asta#yuno#noelle silva#yami sukehiro#black clover exhibition#long post#black clover asta#black clover yuno
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Terrible to Meet You - A Harry Styles One Shot - Act 2, Let not the time discern
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Harry wants to get out of the house. Alex wants to get home.
Alex meets Harry at at crossroads. Harry meets Alex on a one way street.
A coffee shop OU fic feat. lattes, lamingtons & that Great Unfathomable Feeling.
Story Page Here My Masterlist Here
Read Act 1, If at first we meet Here
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Two of Us: 'This universe ain't big enough to keep us apart'
&&&
Harry went back to the cafe the next day. (And, after that, every day for a medium while)
There was something about it. Something about the tiny cafe he must have walked past a hundred times before but never took much notice of. Perhaps it was the way he felt the rest of the day after having been there. Or the fact the coffee was fucking good. But also maybe it was her—kind eyes, a foreign accent and a quick wit. It would take Harry's mind and body marginally longer than his heart to recognise what pulled him there.
Alex was surprised when he returned. Part of her was relieved, too. The other part of her was busy extracting the dagger of guilt that shot through her chest. Seeing Harry reminded her that she forgot to tell her flatmates the juicy The Daily Dose gossip about Harry Styles. And Harry walking up to the window a little before 8 am with a calm but reassuring smile on his face made something in her still, and Alex realised he wasn't gossip at all.
"Hi," he greeted her pleasantly, seemingly thinking nothing of the way his hand was tucked into the top of his running shorts to extract his phone for payment. (Alex's heart did a lusty little backflip) She saw a slither of a toned tummy and the way the elastic of the shorts folded over itself, "I'm back for more," he said.
More coffee, and more of whatever else it was packaged into the takeaway cups with it. Alex and Paul were Harry's first human interaction after returning from LA. And, where 24 hours prior his aching need had been to see literally anybody, it was now just a need to see more of this somebody. A person whose name he didn't know yet and who Harry had absolutely no reason to feel connected to at all. Knitted hearts aren't visible to the human eye, not when it isn't Looking.
He did though. Although the way she was now watching him with a completely blank expression on her face and a far off look in her eyes made Harry's confidence falter. He repeated what he'd already said over in his head looking for where he might've gone wrong. Harry came up blank. Was she completely freaked out by him already?
Paul rescued her from what Alex was sure was turning into a flushed moment for her. Did Harry really not realise what he'd said with his fingers beyond the elastic of his shorts? Paul's head appeared over her shoulder as a frown started to appear on Harry's face, "Careful Harry, she's a grump today."
Nobody blinked an eye at Paul using Harry's name before it was technically given to them.
"I am not," Alex insisted too quickly, too forcefully. Her elbow launched backwards, trying to catch Paul's gut. She really was a grump. But last night's wine was still causing her head to thump and her throat to ache. Tears and a bottle of red worked well in the moment but weren't as comforting the morning after.
Paul's eyebrows rose in Harry's direction, and he waved a hand out in front of him, expertly weaving away from her attack even in the tiny space, "See?"
"Ah," Harry nodded awkwardly and briefly looked at his feet.
"Doesn't like it when I start talking about universe stuff," Paul explained loudly, despite nobody asking for him to. "Very spiritually pragmatic, the Australians."
"Didn't know that," Harry added, expression turning to one of interest. He wasn't involved in this part of the conversation the previous day.
"Long black?" Alex asked because yes she remembered his order, and she had the defence of it having been less than 24 hours since she last made Harry's coffee in case anyone started raising eyebrows for another reason.
"Uh, yeah," Harry fumbled over how quickly the exchange turned to business, "Thank you."
She got to work but felt Harry's eyes on her as her hands ran on autopilot, stepping through the process. The click click of the bean hopper, the churn of the grinder, packing the head … Alex put the machine on to run and internally cursed Paul, who took himself into the back room, mumbling something about them running low on serviettes. A blatant lie.
Now, when she turned back to Harry, she tried to look calm and serene, like him. But she was already covered in coffee grind and couldn't be sure there wasn't a smudge of it across her face. Paul never told her when there was. Harry's heart was waving to hers widely.
"So … You're definitely not in a bad mood then?" Harry had an expression on his face that told Alex he was testing the waters, but the teasing note was there in just the right amount.
"I'm hungover, which is completely different," she provided.
His smile turned into a grimace, "Oh yeah, completely … Nothing worse … Self-inflicted misery."
Alex tried not to let Harry's awkwardness affect her and in doing so fell into an old pastime of hers; filing the silence with mindless chatter, "Exactly. And then if you add in some idiot going on about the universe and it's wonderful, eternal plans for my existence … I could just kill a man, you know?"
Paul, Paul is the man I could kill, she thought.
He didn't know, but Harry nodded obediently anyway, "You need carbs and coffee, not the cosmos."
"Thank you," Alex gave Harry a look that told him she thought it was obvious the two of them were right, "I mean, the downright gall of that man, trying to put the universe on me this year of all years. Absolutely bloody insane."
Harry tried to hide the instant smile that came to his face hearing her accent navigate absolutely bloody insane. "I'm Harry … By the way … Feel like we're at names."
"Alexandra. But it's Alex." She added quickly, ignoring the lovely, melodic chuckle that came from Harry, "Do you really think that this year, with a global pandemic, anyone can claim that the universe is conspiring for their specific good? Like, 'Sorry everyone about the pandemic, this is really about my destiny, so you're all just going to have to hang tight while that all falls into place!' This is a terrible year. The universe isn't setting up shit."
"Well, it's terrible to meet you, Alex," Harry grinned, stealing her word. She really was in a grump, and he loved it. But if there was one thing Harry knew how to do, it was charm and disarm. He had a feeling nothing would look as lovely as Alex with a blush he'd put there.
Alex paused where she was about to put the lid on his coffee. She felt her cheeks heat as the last few moments played over in her head—her ranting, Harry's introduction, threatening to murder a man—and then she took in the way he was watching her. A little pink-cheeked himself, amused but not appalled, a waiting look of anticipation on his face for what might come out of her big mouth next.
"I think I might still be a little drunk," she excused meekly. Despite herself, Alex thought she might have a little crush.
"You're handling it well," Harry provided kindly, taking the coffee from where Alex put it down in front of him. He waved his phone over the payment portal, waiting for the beep before locking the screen and going back to looking at her, "Drinking for any particular reason?"
"Oh," Alex's eyes widened, "I—
—"Sorry, that was intrusive of me."
"No, it's okay," she continued quietly, not seeing the way her softening had Harry frowning in concentration to tune into what she was about to say, "I've been trying to get home—back to Australia—for a while now. Flights keep getting cancelled or, on Saturday, I was bumped from one at Heathrow…. So we're back to square one."
Dread filled Harry instantly. He could see how upset Alex was, the heartache in her voice—the homesickness—and he hated this look on her, the opposite to the one he'd just daydreamed about. If there was one thing Harry knew it was what it was to miss home. There was no cure for it. A dozen ways he could offer to help burst to the tip of his tongue, but he held them back.
"I'm sorry, that's really shit. Have …" he hesitated to ask, "Have they put you on another one?"
She smiled through glassy eyes, "It's complicated, that's not really how flights home are working at the moment … But it's alright! I'm fine. I'll get there eventually. I got the refund for the first one, back in April, last week and Paul's let me come back to work here three times now so … This can't last forever, right?"
Harry didn't have an answer for that, he was in no hurry to return to his house as he took a sip of his coffee, "How long has it been since you were home?"
"I went back for a visit a little over two years ago," Alex flipped a button on the espresso machine in front of her, to distract herself from the subject but also the way Harry was watching her. If only she could see the way the hearts were watching each other. She started rinsing out her coffee mug under the stream of boiling water, "My sister came over for Christmas last year, though."
"I just got back from America," Harry provided without knowing where the urge to comfort this stranger was coming from, "I was only gone a few months, and it was a little hard to get back, it felt dreadful, so I can't imagine what it's like for you. That's a long time to be so far from home, especially now."
While he spoke, Alex started making herself a latte, for something to do in the moment and for something to hold onto if Harry stayed at the window.
"How long have you been in London?" He asked. How long have you been just around the corner? Harry thought.
When she looked over at him, Harry felt like she was seeing through him. There was something about her soft, brown eyes and the way they exuded kindness that had him buoyant with giddiness at the same time as feeling incredibly self-conscious.
"Four years now," Alex told him, "Was supposed to be just a 12-month adventure."
"Your family must miss you then."
She shrugged, "I think they're used to it now. Life moves on without you, which is strange at first. Tough to get used to, that the people who own you suddenly have lives you only know about from catch-ups and Instagram posts."
Harry didn't know how to tell her that he knew exactly what she meant. He'd been struggling with that very notion for years now. Home never left like the same home he remembered, and wherever he found himself living—LA or the road—never quite felt right either.
"I've loved it though," Alex added, "Wouldn't have stayed if I didn't. This year though … I just want to be home, London's… Lost something."
Harry watched her shake herself out of the sad moment, her face brightened, and he barely registered the way Alex said in a genuinely upbeat fashion that she'd just have to wait for her time. He smiled along with the rising of her cheeks and felt like he saw a transition between two feelings that was entirely healthy and okay. She wasn't pretending. Her graciousness and patience with life were astounding, despite the fact he'd equally seen her sadness as being genuine as well. The balance there was enlightening.
"Need to make the most of the bonus time you've been given here then," he tried hesitantly. The hearts nodded at each other, gleefully.
That had been the right thing to say, the smile on Alex's face amplified in agreement, "Exactly.”
3AM 'She's got a little bit of something' &&&
Alex was sitting on an upturned milk crate as Harry rounded the corner.
His step faltered but only because she was looking right at him as if expecting him to arrive. He smiled under his mask and tugged it down while he was still a reasonable distance away. Alex smiling at him, holy hell did that taste—the flavour of her spirit—feel good in Harry's chest. Each day for nearly a month he'd felt the same way every time he saw her.
Alex received a text message from Harry just after 7 am that morning. Unlike the ones he sent every other day telling her he was on his way (an old fashioned tip from his sister, to demonstrate to Alex that Harry was thinking of her) that morning Harry told her he wouldn't see her until the afternoon. All day, she waited. Her heart tapped its foot impatiently in her chest, a nervous ticking that made Alex clumsy and disappointed when every new customer wasn't him.
"Hello," Harry grinned back at her, because that was all he could do, really. In her presence happiness exploded out of him and charged his whole body faster than caffeine ever could. His shoe scuffed the concrete path again as he looked at the closed cafe behind her, "Did I miss something?"
Harry stopped a safe distance from her, not sure how this new level of interaction would go. He'd never seen her whole body all at once, part of her was always obscured by the cafe window. Alex in the flesh—in the whole—was like the first taste of chilli on his tongue, invigorating in a way that stole the breath from his lungs.
"We close at three every day," she stayed seated but pushed another crate towards him with her foot. There were brown smudges of coffee grind all up and down her shins, and he guessed the black jeans she wore to work were strategic.
Harry squinted the sign on the window by the door, he was always occupied by her and didn't need arbitrary activities like reading signs to keep him entertained waiting for his coffee, "Really?"
"You usually come in the morning," Alex said pleasantly, waiting for him to sit down opposite her, "Here."
Harry was overwhelmed, he really was, by the sight of a white takeaway cup in her hand, and he reached for it carefully, "What's this—Alex."
"Can't have you missing your coffee … Made it right before closing, had to put the tiniest drop of milk in there otherwise it would shit itself and taste horrendous," she laughed at his wrinkled nose at the mention of milk, he sniffed the lid just to tease her or to get her to roll her eyes at him blithely. It worked, "It won't kill you, promise."
"Says someone whose intestines know how to handle lactose without making you shit yourself," he borrowed her phrase. Sounded better when Alex said it, with the wideness and the breadth of her accent.
Alex tilted her head back and laughed. Really laughed and Harry didn't have it in him to be embarrassed or scold himself for how he just spoke about his bowels in front of her, because the sound is marvellous and so Alex. It's unapologetic and genuine and a touch off-beat, which he loves.
"Holy shit," she let out a long, shaking breath afterwards, holding a palm to her rib as if in pain. She was pretending not to notice how Harry stared at her while she was laughing as if extremely happy with himself. "You wear white bottoms far too often for that to be a daily worry for you."
"Oh, it's a worry," Harry insisted, mainly to keep the joke going. He felt like his face was about to crack in half, "I can't have people spiking my coffees without my knowledge," Harry took a sip but then pointed his finger at her playfully, "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you."
As if he wasn't already.
"Busy day?" Alex asks, watching Harry take a hearty sip of the coffee she made him.
"Yeah, I um … I had some, ah, work stuff."
"Oh?" Alex crossed one leg over the other and looked at Harry with (mock) interest, "What do you do for work?"
Harry's eyes bulged involuntarily, and his mind went completely blank. Did she actually not know?
Alex only let the horror play on his face for a few seconds, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding. Jesus, Harry, sorry. I was just having a go."
"You're an excellent actress, as it turns out," he swallowed down the moment of panic. It only ever happened once before, years before, that a girl he'd been interested in hadn't known who Harry was beforehand. It hadn't ended up going down well.
Alex asks Harry about the book recommendation she sent him the week before, whether he'd started reading it yet.
Harry held up a finger at her, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that," he said, "But I haven't had lunch … I'd promised myself one of Paul's ham and cheese croissants."
"Well, you're shit out of luck, unfortunately," Alex told him, "He takes the keys with him, I can't break in and make you one. But the cafe on the high street around the corner stays open until five. You could try there?"
Harry felt like he was about to defecate himself, but it wasn't from the lactose, "Will you join me?"
Alex's eyes brightening instantly, but Harry didn't miss the way her cheeks reddened, "Sure. Of course."
"Great!" Harry coughed down his too-enthusiastic response then worried—as everyone did in 2020—that his physical reaction to her saying yes, the cough, would be interpreted as a symptom of something else entirely. He checks the time on his Apple Watch, "Should we go then?"
They walk in step away from The Daily Dose, and away from the previous pattern of their friendship. It strikes them both that this is the first time (both trip over 'first' in their minds as having the possibility to suggest it happening more often but their hearts have known all along, of course) they were out in the world together, the first time they were more than barista and customer.
Harry's hand touched Alex's forearm when they got to the cafe's door as he held it open and encouraged her to go inside. They ordered takeaway, Harry got a croissant (he was still working on the coffee Alex made him) while Alex ordered a tea. They then walked back a little way to where there was a small park with vacant seats Harry noticed on the way past.
"So, the book …" Alex asked him, the lid of her tea is off to let the heat escape. She’d crossed her legs and angled her hips towards him on the bench seat. Harry faced forward, heart hammering as he tried to remember how to use his voice.
Harry struggled to look dignified while biting into his too-hot croissant, the cheese burnt his lip, but he tried to hide it, "Oh, yeah, well, I haven't started it."
"I thought you said you wanted to speak to me about it!" She laughed.
"A ploy," Harry admitted sheepishly, "Was trying to figure out how to ask you to come with me."
In her head, Alex squealed. Her heart held two thumbs up at Harry's.
"How's the coffee," she asked, eyeing the cup in his hand.
Harry grins, knowing his next line is a winner, "Best in London, easily."
+++
GIve me all your best Alex & Harry theories Act 3, Hearts beat not fail - coming soon!
+++
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The Arrangement Ch. 19
Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi
Chapter Summary: After the photoshoot you and Yoongi decompress
Previous Chapter here AN: SO FLUFFY UGH
You slunk back to the elevator and just stood there for a second. What a weird day. You pulled out your phone to double check your work schedule and saw a message from Yoongi.
YG: I ordered pizza.
You smiled.
YN: Oh yeah? Did you order enough to share?
YG: *Eyeroll*
YN: :D Where is this food? Apartment? Studio?
YG: Apartment. Photoshoots wear me out.
You pushed the button for the 18th floor. Other people got on and off as you made your way there; it was the end of the work day for most of the hourly staff. You finally arrived at your stop and headed left.
You opened the door and took off your shoes, immediately noticing the delicious odor of bread and hot cheese filling the air. You had been running around all day and just now realized, other than a few carrots, you hadn't eaten today.
"Oh my God thank you so much." You declared as you walked into the kitchen. You eyed the box sitting on the counter and looked around for Yoongi. “Helllooooooo?”
“Good. I’m starving.” You saw him rise up like a reanimated corpse from the couch.
“You didn’t have to wait on me.” You reprimanded, even though you thought it was incredibly thoughtful. Yoongi just shrugged and walked into the kitchen.
You opened the box and handed him a plate.
“I have no idea if you ‘ll like this.” He said as he took some pieces.
“I like food. My favorite food is the food in front of me.” You took the plate over to the table, going back for some water.
Yoongi followed suit, quieter than normal.
“You ok?” You asked.
“Yeah, just tired. Photoshoots take so much more energy.” He collapsed down into the chair.
The air was filled for silence for several minutes as the two of you stuffed your faces. Finally, you worked up the nerve to ask, “Sooooooo…...did you know Bongcha was asking you out or are you oblivious?”
Yoongi looked up, shaking the bangs out of his face. “I knew. But what should I say to her? "No I don’t want to go out with you" and ruin her day? Upset her at work? It would make things awkward for both of us. Nah. Just request another stylist for a few months.”
You pursed your lips together in thought. “Why not just date her though? She’s cute. You guys get along. Why go through this whole elaborate contract scenario?” You gestured to yourself.
Yoongi sighed. Ugh he had been dreading you asking him about the contract. Things had been going so normal. He thought, stupidly, maybe he could just never think about it again. Of course with Namjoon and BPD up his ass he knew that was unlikely. He realized he had been quiet for too long. “Look, If I actually dated someone I worked with and then it didn't work out, imagine the fallout. The scandal. The wasted time. Plus then I'd have to go on dates and stuff. I'm busy.”
You rolled your eyes "We went to a diner the other night. And the grocery store."
Yoongi blinked his eyes and stuffed more food in his mouth. “Not dates.”
You scowled. "You spent all Sunday driving a van and putting up with my family'
Yoongi chewed, taking as much time as possible to think of a response. “Yeah but I did that because I wanted to."
You rolled your eyes, “You're a weirdo "
"Says the girl who signed a contract to marry a guy she didn't know. And who doesn’t eat their pizza crust. Are you 5 years old?"
"Crust is gross. Anyways. I'm a very good judge of character, I will have you know." You pouted at having been admonished over your crust preferences.
"That's true. You could tell Namjoon was an asshole within 30 seconds I bet." He jested.
"Haha yeah. I could tell he was rich and full of himself by his demeanor and then when he opened his mouth, he confirmed the asshole part. And, I knew Alice was awesome within like 2 seconds.”
Yoongi pushed his plate over a bit and interlaced his fingers. Resting his chin on them, he asked, “OK. So what was your first impression of me?”
You laughed as you recalled sprinting in your work clothes. “That you were busy. Very busy. And a little bit short on patience, but I thought that's because you were in a hurry.”
“Sounds about right.” He took a sip of his water.
“The second time I met you, you were putting on an act for Namjoon. Still not sure why... " You eyed him suspiciously. “You guys have a fucked up dynamic "
"You are right all-around there. Cheers." He lifted his glass in your direction."You did a great job today."
You scoffed, "I literally just pointed at things and handed you stuff.”
“Hey I've been to shoots before, you haven't. Today went much smoother than usual. “
“Really?” You rocked back in your seat.
“Yep.” He stood up and extended his hand." Do you want more? "
"Yes please. Thanks again for ordering. I didn't realize how hungry I was til I got home.”
“‘Same.” He took the plates to the kitchen and returned with more food. Sitting them down on the table. He pulled his laptop over and looked over some things as you guys sat in silence for a few minutes. You scrolled through your phone, returning some texts from Jimin and your brother.
"Do you want to go watch something?" he asked, taking you by surprise.
You raised your eyebrows, “You're not going to work?"
"I told you, photoshoots wear me out. I'm done for today."
"Yeah sure," you stood up and grabbed the plates. "I'll clean up the leftovers and get changed. Pick whatever."
You travelled up to the loft area about ten minutes later, much more comfortable in your leggings and oversized sweatshirt.
Yoongi was waiting on the couch, the remote in his hand as he scrolled through the menu. You plopped down on the other end, covering your mouth as you yawned.
“Grab a pillow. You know you’re going to fall asleep.” He said without looking over.
“No I won’t,” You protested through another yawn.
He shot you a look that told you he knew you were full of shit and got up. He returned a minute later, throwing a pillow at the back of your head.
“Hey.”
“You’re welcome.” He sat back down, adjusting himself into a comfortable position.
You grumbled a thank you as you balled the pillow into a couch-compatible shape and leaned up against it. You pulled back for a second. It smelled just like Yoongi. This was his pillow. You looked over, his eyes were still scanning the screen.
“Since you’re going to fall asleep in ten minutes I’m putting on my favorite documentary.” He said matter-of factly.
“I will last more than ten minutes.” You declared. You heard a small snort come out of his mouth as he dimmed the lights and pressed play. You started to watch the movie and tried to pay attention, but your heartbeat was racing. You kept replaying earlier conversations in your head and also smelling the pillow. You felt like a pervert. The man across the couch was completely oblivious. You stared at him for a few seconds and realized that yes, you did like him. Well Shit. You didn’t have too much time to ruminate on this as your eyelids began to grow heavy. Soon you were passed out, just as Yoongi predicted.
Ten minutes into the NBA show he looked over, a knowing smile crept onto his face. You were out.
He took a deep breath. What the fuck was he doing? He tried not to think about it too much. Every time he thought about you and the contract it left him feeling weird. The thought that you were getting paid to like him and to hang out with him, didn’t sit well at all. But he knew there was so much more to it than that. He picked up his notepad and wrote a few lyrics, the movie playing for background noise at this point.
After several minutes he looked at his writing. Satisfied, he stood up and slipped the notebook into a desk. He didn’t think you would snoop, but better safe than sorry. He looked back at the couch and smirked. He thought it was hilarious you thought you would stay awake when he knew better. He went over to the stuffed animal line and pulled out a Snorlax. Appropriate, he thought as he sat it down on top of your side. He snapped a picture. Sweet revenge. Stretching, he decided to head to bed himself; only slightly lamenting that he had given you his favorite pillow and now he would have to use the flatter one. NEXT CHAPTER
@lidda @anpanman-sonyeondan @firefairy1 @cuteipat @sugaslittlekookies @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny @livelyjay @niniita-ah @bobbyboops @honeysunandsoil @deathkat657 @min-yus @or-worse-expelled7
#bts fic#BTS suga#bts suga x you#bts suga x reader#bts yoongi x reader#bts yoongi#suga x you#suga x reader#suga x y/n#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi x y/n#bts writing#bts scenarios#bts imagines
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Ikesen - Rating Suitors
Except it’s my cats who do the rating, as my little Rzepka sat on my arm and is preventing me from writing. Excuse all the typos, let’s say my screen visibility fluctuates.
Without further ado, allow me to introduce our judges!
Rzodkiewka/Rzepka - the matriarch of the clan, the miniature kitty of confused stares and trust issues, the lady of reoccurring bladder problems, the one and only princess of wet cat food! She has seen some shit in her life. What shit? Idk. But she’s a good cat. infinity/10, would reccom...I am not supposed to be doing that.
Junko - the older sister, the mighty beast of cuddles, the resilient hunter who fears nothing, and will not leave until your plate is empty - either because you hurried to eat your food or because you’re now crouched in front of the couch and trying to GET BACK MY YOUR BREAD. Associate of cat food thieve organisation. Clumsy fluffy ass. Never did anything wrong in her life.
Porzeczka - the void kitty, one who knows all and has experienced all things of the world.... Except for snow. And rain. But who would want that, right? Ew ew ew, my paw is wet, how did that happen, i only put it in my water bowl. How was I supposed to know that water is wet? Hm? HM? Now look at it, your wall is wet, and I want fresh water in the bowl; will murder you with her claws. Sleeps on my stomach at night. Tsundere. Shows affection excussively between midnight and 5 AM. THE NINJA.
Nobunaga
Rzodkiew - would most likely piss in his futon from stress, not that he would notice it given how little he sleeps. Wouldn’t rule the world at his side, too much ore in this sama. 0/10
Junko - sold after the first piece of konpeito which she absolutely shouldn’t have been given. Turns into a round cat. She rolls in happiness and food. Perfect sleeping charm, the match made in heaven - her previous owner has been long imprisoned due to complaints about cat dietary habits .-. ; 11/10
Porzeczka - she is an independent kitty. She cares not for his promises. Her murder mittens have murder in them for a reason. Time to set the history straight - and then perhaps go and live peacefully somewhere in the mountains. Whew, this odd man was really too stressful, there was no other way.; -11/10
Mitsuhide
The council of cats has expressed their regret in having to announce no fucking way. Dude, are you ever home? Do you think Rzodkiew will be waiting? Nu-uh, get yourself and yours schemes somewhere else, void kitty smells nothing but trouble here. Food? What food? There is no joy in depriving you of food if it’s barely edible in the first place. Those leaves you eat aren’t the conventional edible leaves, sir. Don’t you even dare to disrespect the-mighty-hunter Junko like that.
Hideyoshi
Rzodkiew - yes, please??? Somebody with a common sense??? Who knows that animals need to be fed and who is responsible enough to be trusted with it??? Is home at least frequently?? Cares for his pets?? Rzodkiew would give him smootches, may leave some paw prints on correspondence though. Will absolutely sit in the ink if it means he’ll go to sleep; 110/10
Junko - forget about your pipe, Hideyoshi. Junko knocked it over. It’s probably under the couch. Or the desk. Cabinets. Somewhere. Actually, Junko doesn’t know where it is either. She also left nice print on the tatami mats, but found no bread, sadly. Get her some bread? No? NO?! Well, good, cats shouldn’t eat bread, that’s a plus point. Junko still likes you. Just spoil her with treats. I will come after you the moment she turns into a rolling cat, though. ; 8/10
Porzeczka - void kitty likes. Calm (aside from when he isn’t). Organized. Too stupid to stop her in her plans of world domination. Purrfect conditions for her development.; 9/10, could give her more cat trees.
Mitsunari
No.
Because he already has a cat, duh.
Ieyasu
Rzodkiew - is always super grumpy, no matter how many smootches she gives him. Somewhat confusing. But he treats her and is very gentle, and understands the personal space, and actually gives them very good food, and... RZODKIEW WHERE ARE YOU GOING, NO, DON’T MOVE OUT; 14/10
Junko - she is always with him, hugging him and such. Stopped trying to steal his food after she succeeded ONCE (too much spice, man, too much spice). Likes how fluffy his hair is, may try to groom him. 10/10, best friends, their colour schemes sorta match.
Porzeczka - destroyed his scarf because she thought it was a toy. Responsible owner. Not too loud. Will grumble with him, and then will headbutt him to show love. She understands. She would lend him her murder mittens. ; 10/10
Masamune
No.
Because they don’t want to become the food. Take it as you will, they don’t know who’d they fear more - him or Shogetsu.
Jokes aside, Junko loves the food part. The holy cat mother says annoying. Porzeczka opened claws.
Kenshin
Porzeczka is scared of bunnies. Is there even any place for cats left there? So many bunnies.
Is he multip...?Oh.
Prediction: Kasugayama will become a Bunny-Yama soon enough. Porzeczka must up her plans for world domination.
Shingen
Rzodkiew - can I call you father? Gentle gigant, gentle gigant, gentle gigant! Emotionally stable. Could build her a fort. Spoils all the ladies - and she IS a lady. A little (literally) tiny (very tiny) cat lady. *hit adopt button*; 16/10
Junko - tall guy tall guy tall guy shoulder rides on the tall guy! SWEETS. THEFT TIME. Her foodie instinct is tingling. Although she knows she will only get food appropriate for cats. Smh. She didn’t travel to the past for that.; 5/10
Porzeczka - he is fine, I guess? She would purr at him to go rest. And then would sit on his chest to make sure he can’t get up. It’s the law of the land, you can’t get up if a cat sits on you. I’m not making this up.
Yukimura & Sasuke
No. They have Shingen and Kenshin to baby. No room for pets in that.
Aaand the winner iiiiiis
Kennyo
Solely because he has all the benefits of the above and no annoying neighbours/INTENSE BOSSES/ore excess.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#shitpost#ikesen#ikemen sengoku#ikemen series#it's all okay cats are all healthy and despite many attempts they eat only food which is meant for cats#reoccurring bladder issues were a result of neglect which rzodkiew endured before I found her#but it's all good now so dw
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