#it literally does not matter it wont make it better or worse

[daffodi1]

I hate to break it to transmasc tumblr but if you're trans you're gnc. There is no mode of being transgender that makes you gender conforming whatsoever. This ALSO means that you are not exclusively oppressed for any particular presentation. Any backlash you experience for your presentation is literally just transphobia; and nobody is saying it isn't bad. Transphobia is awful enough on its own and encompasses way more than anybody thinks it does. You really don't need to find another label for that oppression.

[soomanymoths]

"Trying to destroy them" is such a hyperbolic statement (very on brand for crink). Im not destroying anyone - im fully in my right to be transparent about how i was mistreated. If you dont want to have bad things said about you - dont do bad things. Crinkle did a lot of fucked up things. And no, this is not some distant past. Only very recently did crinkle apologize to his wife for cheating and actually showed any kind of shame over his behavior towards her. He continues to lie and try to cover for himself in regards to how he treated me. "Wild things" 100% real things that i have proof for... and honestly what i shared pales in comparison to some other shit crinkle pulled during all this :') Idk what u mean by checking tags - feels like u misunderstood / didnt read correctly tbh? I always knew what fic i was reading! The explicit nature of the fic was NEVER an issue for me. The issue was that both Crinkle and Krys acted as if their brains leaked out in the discord server i made for several people - they used absolutely no content warnings, they roleplayed very explicitly anywhere they wanted while being fully aware Nightjarteeth (cr's spouse) is uncomfortable with SA, r*pe, etc. We had RP & NSFW channels for a reason - they didnt use them when it was appropriate. And while i personally have high tolerance, waking up and seeing discussions about a teenager being sodomized with a hot curling iron in a channel meant for selfies, pets etc. first thing in the morning was a bit much even for me. No warnings, no spoiler marking, nothing. Very cool and considerate /s. Honestly what you wrote just reads like you didnt bother to read what i put out - I stated my issues very clearly. But no matter, your choice to blindly believe whatever Crinkle peddles to their readers. It is pretty gullible though, for anyone to believe what he says based solely on the fact they like his fic. As you said - you dont know this person. But i do. His wife does. Two other irl's called out crinkle oh his behavior as well. The truth is not always pretty. Honestly the bottom line is that what Crinkle is doing / has done had real life consequences and that pales in comparison to me making fanart and asking questions. Both Night and I were severely hurt and mistreated in all this - it's unfortunate you're not willing to put it on the equal ground with whatever Crinkle and Krys say.

CrinklyTinfoil bs

Just a collection of receipts since krys decided to go ahead and spew such backwards bs im no longer willing to keep this to myself - i only did in the first place because crinkles spouse (nightjarteeth) asked me to keep it tucked away for a while (Night is aware of the events and supports me in the situation last i checked). Crinkle really hates the idea of their behavior backfiring & someone they hurt speaking about the experience. They will do anything to discredit people, doesnt matter if they caused the sitch in the 1st place. Its all about appearances, distorting events and grasping at straws for them. If you're their reader and you choose to believe them - remember they were comfortable pulling wool over the eyes of their spouse and someone they called a "dear friend". Ask yourself why anyone else would be exempt from this. I might update this when i have more time on my hands.

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[ihopesocomic]

It's such a shame how many good brother-brother duos or sister-brother duos there are compared to sister-sister duos

I know it stems from writers always feeling the need to add a man in every woman's life

A lot of writers can only make a character who's a sister if she's a sister to a brother and it's a real shame

Honestly I think Nothing from MP is a pretty good example of that

Look at her relationship with her female siblings/cousin vs her male siblings/cousin

Fire ended up being horrible and Feather is a toxic positive "lemme make you feel bad for wanting to change your ableist name even though it literally doesnt effect me" dirtbag

But Nothing had a better relationship with vs her younger sisters/cousins

Farleap and Silentstalk bullied her and Feather's sisters thought she was weirdo though they like literally never interacted

It's just always suspicious when a writer seems to prioritize a female character's relationship with guys over her relationship with girls

Like their gender shouldn't matter but they'll always pick their male characters first

The sexism in writing still to this day is wild. Especially where so-called independent creators are concerned. Because I thought the whole point of being indie was creating stuff you wanted to see in mainstream media but didn't get, but a lot of it is just more of the same crap you get from bigger productions. So either people want more sexism, or its just baked into their brain and they don't even realize it.

A lot of better stories out there are about brothers (well, I could argue that a lot of it is lazy and that there is no point to the characters being brothers, especially when strong emotional friendships between men are practically nonexistent in media.) and anything having to do with sisters is as I said, either petty nonsense or there's no point to being sisters at all.

And then there's as you said, an inherent need by creators for women to have men be relevant in their lives when that same standard is not applied to men. You can throw a rock and hit a movie or show with a female pov where her only motivation has to do with a man. Father, son, brother, husband, boyfriend, abuser. Whatever.

That's not to say any of these are bad stories. But when its the majority of supposed woman-focused media, it loses its edge as woman-focused when the women in question are focused on men. The writers either consciously or subsconsciously don't get that women have motivations beyond men. This even happens with lesbian characters, where men should have even less relevancy? LOL And it doesn't even matter who the writers are, whether they're men/women, cis/trans, straight/gay, everyone does this. You'd expect better from queer creators but even then there's a clear preference. And they're wont to bring up that "gender shouldn't matter" but only when it pertains to asking why they're so opposed to women being the focus. Its quite interesting.

MP is in an interesting position of hating both men and women at the same time while not commenting on how the patriarchy has negative effects on both men and women. Not an easy feat but Tribble sure made it look easy. She made Feather Nothing's prime motivator for leaving the pride, and while I have my own criticisms of Nothing's "subtle" motherlyness towards Feather, that wasn't extended to the female cubs. Fire is Nothing's other motivation for leaving the pride, and then he turned out to be a wannabe dictator. Quickmane was shown to be a sympathetic and caring mate who definitely wasn't homophobic, but had no qualms about killing children. And then there's alllllll the women who are meant to be oppressed to the same extent as Nothing, but they all somehow manage to be even worse because the narrative wants us to side with them.

And even Nothing's abusive relationship with Quickmane as we've stated in our review is arguably less fucked up than the relationship she has with her own mother. Because we know what they think about each other, and Powerstrike still insists that Nothing's existence is a burden on her soul or whatever. Like what the fuck is up with that?? I'm sure they could've made Powerstrike less-bad than Quickmane, was this some sort of weird equalizer of the sexes? And you can count Nothing's relationship with Sharptongue if you're so inclined to, but even if you ignore everything else she did, Sharptongue would still be the only positive female influence in Nothing's life. But not a key motivator in Nothing's story. Like not even a little bit.

[stringsbasement]

Shameless Martlet fan shamelessly asking for underfell Martlet content, possibly her and Clover interacting?

Random side note: I feel like it'd be cool if Clover had a far greater distrust for all adults in underfell, implying that whatever he went through in the base game was worse, because mmmm edgy AU.

clover wont be included in the au! this story's is focused on the green kindness soul: verity :)

for martlet...

she spent most of her childhood in an orhphanage, always being looked down upon for her disability. she was born without complete legs. it's what she suspects to be the reason her parents put her there in the first place. she needed prosthetics, but those were expensive. so; she took it upon herself to rummage through dumpsters and steal from (probably) non occupied homes. she built herself her own two feet, and after that, she kept building; it was a talent she continued to cultivate out of both genuine love for it, as well as spite for all those who never believed in her.

one day, she she met chujin, and proceeded to annoy the hell out of him. surprisingly, he didn't turn her away, and instead took the time to actually try and understand her. he took interest to the things she's created, and eventually she trusted him enough to show him her greatest work, the thing her whole life's been literally standing on. they continue to have a pseudo-parent-child relationship (neither of them acknowledging it) (not adopted, because chujin's a loser who isn't emotionally prepared to do that in any capacity,) but he does look after her when he visits snowdin (which happens more often now). he teaches her a lot of things. they laughed, they bonded, they loved.

martlet knew of ceroba, but she's never met her. not with the dunes being so far away, and not with... kanako.

as much as she hated to admit it, martlet was jealous of her.

kanako. the perfect child. the Hope of the underground. someone untouchable; someone who can Do No Wrong. chujin's daughter.

she would do anything to be chujin's daughter.

martlet used to think she was far too broken to broken to be loved. chujin continues to prove her wrong.

and with that miniscule comfort, with that Hope, martlet Thrives.

(but what she doesn't, and will never know, is that kanako is jealous of martlet.

martlet. overly trusting, overly optimistic, irresponsible, foolhardy, naturally talented but too LAZY to truly make an impact! she's the pinacle of weakness!

compared to kanako, who's a Big Girl!! who doesn't need comfort! who doesn't need anyone to hold her!

she doesn't need her father to talk to her about puzzles and robots like he does with martlet! or get mean cream like he does with martlet! it doesn't matter that she doesn't understand robots, or that she doesn't like mean cream, or that she's never asked for such things in her life because she's Better than that.

and yet. yet.

martlet can do everything kanako can't. she can be imperfect. she IS imperfect. she's broken in every way.

and yet...

chujin loves her.

kanako just wants to understand her father the way martlet so easily does.

that never happens.)

:)

this au is becoming less and less like underfell with each idea i come up for it... it still has the edgy-ness as it's base form, but its a lot more! it surprises even me sometimes!

there's this vitale zenith martlet art i've been working on for a week and thinking about for even longer— ever since this ask!!

here's a tiny sneak that you can peak!! will be posting it here Very Soon

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[divorcetual]

🔥+animanga

I asked ppl to do this n then fell asleep im so sorry

ANIME ADAPTATIONS ARE NOTTTTT NECESSARY FOR ALL MANGA OH MY GOD. ACTUALLY IT WLD MAKE A LOT OF THEM WORSE. Anime adaptation baseline for animation has been getting a lot better lately (a very standard studio now could be on par with the most beloved and highly praised studio ten or twenty years ago) but NO MATTER WHAT the art- especially lighting- of a manga will almost always look worlds better than the anime adaptation, simply because more detail can be added when its a still image. Similarly, some things CANT be reasonably added from a manga without it looking weird. Comics can get away with noy having a background on a panel, be it out of ease or influencing the mood of the panel, but animation has a lot harder of a time switching from a background to a solid coor or design without good reason- its not impossible, and in fact very common of you look for it, but its just... not smth you can do as often as in manga

[ID: The manga and anime versions of the "I am L" scene in Death Note. In the manga, lights shocked reaction is visible and ghe background has a flash of white to show that. Both L and Light have more detail.

In the anime, the visuals are a lot closer to L's face, with light not seen at all. There is less detail, but there is a shadow cast over half of L's face /End ID]

Take the "I am L" scene for example. The original manga has more shock to it. More of a creepy feeling, even. The anime maintains that in a way, but it also sacrifices a lot of the original appeal of that panel- the bacground flash, Light's face, etc. I wont discredit the anime and say that they didnt do a great job replicating the feeling with great music and voice dubbing, but visual-wise its. a little lacking. I will give credit to them, the shadow over the face does a more than you would think to improve this scene.

This is a manhwa, but a lot of fans bashed the solo leveling anime for this exact reason- the art of the manhwa had so much more detail and complex lighting than the anime, bcs it would be unreasonable for animators for spend time on the lighting for a minor scene in the show, but its easy for a manhwa artist to do it. And this is DESPITE solo levelling animation and visuals being an INCREDIBLE adaptation of the mood and original panels

[ID: A screenshot of the anime vs manhwa adaptatiom of a character shooting a magic blast. The manhwa has more detail in the character and harsher lighting, and the anime has brighter light and a larger blast /End ID]

Pleaseeee click on the manhwa one to see the full thing. One thing about the manhwa vs anime is the fact that manhwas are often made to be scrolled vetically, where anime is a horizontal screen. The screenshot above of the manhwa isnt even the entire thing, it didnt fit in my screen. Imo the anime is AMAZING and does a fantastic job adapting it, but literally it Cant Do It Perfectly because of the difference in media form.

ALSO !! ppl forget that comics are an art form in of themself- the way the story is told goes beyond just showing the characters doing things. Panelling specifically is an incredibly influential aspect of it. YES, many authors dont put so much into the panels that a major facet is lost if made into an anime, but SOME DO

[ID: Two Tokyo Goul pages. One is almost entrely empty besides Kaneki sitting in a chair saying "Mother". Above him is a text box reading "Instead of a person who hurts others, become a person who...".

The second page shows Kaneki's torture, the words "Over and over" written many times across the page, in various sizes and layouts. Through yhe page Kaneki narrates "When the injections wore off Yamori would give me "food" and wait for the injured areas to heal. Then, he would start all over again and give me an injection. Repeatedly. My fingers and toes regrew as if they were nails and hair, over and over. They. Regrew. Every. Time. and I felt like I was truly a monster." /End ID]

Sui Ishida is a genius in terms of panelling and using the art form to his advantage- I didnt even include my fav page of his here, bcs theres soooo many good ones and I hit the image limit lolz. He utilizes text in a way unreplicatable by an anime adaptation, which doesnt use that. Even if it did, text shown in an animation has a different feel to it than a comic, where thoughts, diologue, and narration all use text. Much like the formatting of Solo Levellinng, TG text cant be replicated in another medium.

[ID: A page from Chainsaw Man, in which all the panels are seperates by arms /End ID]

Fujimoto has some amazing panelling in CSM, in the way he seperates panels. While this is the most notable one, theres SO many worth sharing if I wasnt constrained by an image limit. Utilizing the characters and scenes themselves as the panel borders enhances the atmosphere, and creates an even mote sinister feeling to the page.

[ID: Two panels and a page from Witch Hat Ateliar. The panels are formatted by being indented into a wall. The page has a scenic panel with a complex, storybook-like border /End ID]

Kamome Shirahama is anothet author with amazing usage of panels and formatting- when background or lore is given, the panels have a fancy, intricate border to indicate its a story being told- see the right image. She also uses the parts of other panels to interact with new ones (see left image), and often has characters interact with the borders themselves. There is SO much I can say about her work but actually I think watching this video will do you better.

im getting exhausted writing all of this I may come back and talk abt gnpp since that was the one I actually meant to write abt. Augh whatever take this for now

[humantargetss]

been awhile since ive posted so ive got a lot to get off my chest bear with me also how is everybody its been nearly a month since I've talked to like anybody on here so..!!

i dont think my parents know i hear literally everything they're talking about down the hall bc ill occasionally hear my mom say something about me to my dad out of the blue and its usually passive aggressive i guess. like for example i guess we're doing something at some point this week and I've told my parents i don't like when they spring plans on me all of a sudden, i don't really know why, it just kinda ruins my day bc most of the time i plan my day around doing things i like and then suddenly that's taken away from me to go do something i really hate so if I'm told like a week in advance i can better prepare i guess. but anyways my mom was like "make sure to tell him bc he'll get really mad at me if you don't" and idk now i just feel like a bad person for wanting to know I'm going to do things i don't want to do in advance and its really annoying bc i understand its not totally absurd that i want to know things I'm doing in advance and not learning the day we're doing it but me doing literally anything that someone else doesn't like feels bad. like i need to stop immediately so they like me. bc I'm so scared of people not liking me, especially my own family??

i know ive established this like soo so many times but i genuinely hate this planet and believe humans are a virus that is slowly killing the earth (and itself). which is probably why i am obsessed with this random globalist propaganda i get while scrolling. I'm pretty sure its for some fandom I'm not apart of but it gives me so much hope that maybe one day militaries wont exist and people wont kill each other to get access to land they can easily share peacefully. i don't know much about globalism as an idea other than being a world-wide government so I'm not going to say anything about it cause I'm really uneducated about it. but these propaganda videos are like so !!! most of them are space exploration based too, quotes like "we were born to inherit the stars" i just love it love it lvoe it!!

does anyone else feel like a terrible person when complaining about a problem when you know other people have it so much worse . oh suddenly my problem is magically fixed (its not ) but I'm fine now bc i realize my life could be a lot worse and idk i guess it gave me a new perspective. like maybe i shouldn't get so angry or sad when things don't go my way, especially if it isn't life-altering bc at the end of the day it probably doesn't matter and i am thankful for how my life has turned out so far

anyways ive come to the conclusion that i don't care if i go to heaven or hell because eternity in itself is torture. and why would finite beings with finite sins be sent to infinite torture or infinite luxury?

gus when life is meaningless because the universe is on a never-ending cycle of doing the big bang, heat death, and then big bang again, but then looking at some pictures of cows and some mountains and like proximal centauri b and suddenly life is worth living

i think parts of christianity are beautiful and i don't have a lot of trauma from Christianity (because i don't think you can count having everyone around you support genocides and thinking being gay is the same thing as murder as trauma) but like some Christians just ruin Christianity. we can have a whole talk about the bible and all the shitty things it says, or all the good things that most Christians conveniently ignore for some reason because they like capitalism and not giving their belongings to the poor, but i do think that generally Christianity in its nature is not bad but its been twisted to be really bad and most people practicing don't realize?? and then they try to justify the verses that literally condone slavery by claiming that slavery and the slavery the verse is talking about arent the same thing (wow its almost like slavery has looked different in different societies, that doesn't stop the fact its still slavery tho!!!) but i especially hate christians that think separation of church and state is stupid, think that because christians in other countries are being killed for being christians they think they personally (a 40 something white man from ohio) is also being persecuted (christians built, have run, and currently do run this country), or christians that genuinely cant handle the idea of other people not being Christian. "love this song but hate this lyric, hope she changes it" its a song about struggling with faith while being a lesbian the song isn't for you!! or christians that think that morality cant exist without religion. oh gee whiz i don't need an omniscient all-powerful god to tell me murder is bad for me to know that murder is bad.

anyways. sometimes i wish i wasnt born then i look up in the sky and see a comet and go "ooo pretty!!" and suddenly I'm ok. or ill literally be at the lowest point I've ever been and then i eat some cheez-its and take a nap and suddenly I'm fine. I've never encountered a problem where eating, taking a nap, showering, or going outside hasn't solved. not necessarily solved, but made me feel so much better when i wasn't doing great. i go outside for every rainbow, to look at every deer wandering in my yard, because earth is so cool!! and it makes me feel so much better to just sit and watch.

i cant stop thinking about how food is completely different on other planets. no potatoes. no tortillas. no burgers. no chicken. no corn. what the fuck!!!! what do these fictional animals eat! they will never know what a strawberry tastes like. is milk, and therefor dairy products, unique to earth? they will never experience sweet potato casserole!!

im done here, please leave me a detailed comment about how you are doing bc i hope your doing great I'm sleepy and I've been typing for a while and ill probably message you tomorrow night by

[anzynai]

April Fools with the Octatrio

hello so i wanted to write something for the octatrio (as the title states) but a fic wasn’t working out so…. here’s some hcs((aka what my fic idea was GOING to be)) under the cut instead !!!

first of all, april fools was a completely new thing for the twins and azul. in tbe coral sea, its literally just.. april 1st and even the areas that DID know abt the day didn’t bother celebrating it

so imagine floyd and jade having the time of their life when they find that there is quite literally a day centered around messing with your friends

azul is less than amused when his own voice interrupts his speaking because of jade and floyd constantly poking his sides and tickling him when he least expects it

jade tends to be more subtle about it yet so teasy all the same “oh, what’s the matter, azul?” knowing damn well whats what

on the other hand, floyd is like “aww, u ticklish??” when he does with absolute no regard for who might be listening

azul doesn’t know which one is worse

but of course, azul won’t stand for it! he has allowed the twins to get the last laugh for way too long (or.. the twins.. get his (??))) last laugh… uh anyway)

so he starts off with jade because even though jade would definitely hint at it to floyd, he is a much easier person to find. jade.. if jade doesn’t want to be found, he will not be found. so he starts with jade since he’s not expecting it

and well, he really wont. not with tickling at least because azul wasn’t one to get them back all the time. but this time, he knew be needed to stand his ground (he just wants the twins to get a taste of their own medicine.. and maybe… hear their laughter..)

so azul calls jade over into his office to discuss about the monstro lounge and ambushes him. he is actually shocked at first that he manages to do it, but he does.. and of course, tickles him. it works out so much better than he thought. when hes done, he prepares himself for retaliation, but for some reason… jade doesnt?

later, after floyd’s basketball practice, azul does the same thing. corners him, and it seems as though he was expecting it. in fact, he wws encouraging it! “ur gonna tickle me, huh? well go ahead, im waiting!��� it makes azul a little nervous but he still exacts his revenge and. floyd doesn’t retaliate either???

he finds out why later. jade had planned it from the moment azul had ambushed him. he was going to have azul let down his guard and ended up hinting at it to floyd. so basically, at the end of the night, they have both gone to azul and completely obliterated him (much to his embarrassment)

he did have a suspicion, but with the random pokings throughout the day still occurring, he thought that was all they may do. he shouldve known better (or maybe, he just kinda.. hoped it would happen again so didnt work to stop it hehehe)

anyways, unrelated to tickling, i feel like floyd wohld have more obvious pranks. like, silly string (he would have bought out the entire stock at sam’s mystery shop had he had enough money), jumpscares, the like. him wnd lilia have this sort of alliance on april fools and kinda terrorize the student body together

on the other hand, jade has more subtle pranks, but enjoys them nonetheless. they tend to be those ones that make u feel like u MAY be losing ur mind. like those mind games kindw pranks.. i cant think of any rn but uhh… use ur imagination.

azul simply does not participate. at least, not on his own accord. like he never starts it, but it has become a habit to try to prank jade and floyd back if they ever prank him. he wont admit, but its pretty fun thinking of ways to get one over on the twins. he really likes seeing the look on their faces when they arent expecting something.

still, that means he has to work extra hard since it IS the day to prank people, yk?? but he doesnt have a certain way of pranking someone, but is always proud when it works out.

once he got both of the twins at the same time by calling them to his office and leaving the door slightly cracked, but left a bucket of water on top. when it was opened, it would fall on them. he still remembers their expressions and thinks about it from time to time.

[luckyladylily]

First off, pride is not about being gay or trans or whatever. I mean it is, but at its core what it is actually about is being something that society hates and shames and would rather go away or be actively destroyed and taking pride in your existence. Hence why it is "pride". It is a protest against the very idea of in groups and out groups in society.

And the protests that gradually morphed into our current pride celebrations were never just about being gay or trans. They were also very much about sexual lifestyles that our society views as transgressive. So sex workers, the kink community, etc. Originally everything associated with pride was considered not family friendly. If we make pride family friendly by removing transgressive sexual elements what we are doing is kicking out and abandoning the groups that supported gay and trans people from the beginning now that we got ours. And make no mistake, a huge amount of the no kink at pride push is coming directly from gays that hate these groups as much as mainstream society does.

Sanitizing pride removes the point completely. At that point why are we even doing this. It's useless.

The second thing is that no one is having kinky sex in public at pride. It isn't a sex party. At literal worst you might see someone in leathers and a puppy dog mask on a leash. I've seen people say they don't want kink at pride, but they are not going to kick out leather daddies and such but that is exactly what the people really pushing "no kink at pride" are trying to do. It never gets worse than people wearing kinky costumes and engaging in the most mild of kinky activities. And I am going to be bold here, people thinking a young teenager seeing a leather puppy on a leash is a problem is nuts.

Sexual education in our society is in an abysmally poor state because we, as a society, hate and fear sex to an irrational degree. But sex is not inherently traumatizing. If we were not taught to hate and fear sex then the idea of kink at pride being a problem would seem like nonsense. Seeing a leather puppy at pride isn't going to hurt anyone unless they have been so conditioned to hate and fear sex that they have an irrational reaction towards it. And in that case it isn't seeing kink that traumatized them, it is the years of conditioning to hate and fear sex.

What seeing kink at pride might do is let a person know that alternative sexual lifestyles exist. And that, more than anything, is why people hate kink at pride. Because our society hates alternative sexual lifestyles, and many people (including gay people) would rather a person die than embrace kink or get into polyamory.

I wont go on full a rant about sexual education, but I think kids should know the basics of sex as early as possible and especially should be educated on the basics of kink and subversive sexual fantasy by early teenage years because the prevalence of rape fantasies and other subversive sexual fantasy exists at a really high rate, and dealing with the shame of thinking your sexuality is violent and tainted is extremely damaging to young teenagers. No matter if we like it or not these kids are sexual individuals. That ship sets sail the first time a kid has a sexual fantasy, which often is in the preteen years but can happen even before that. And some of them are kinky from the very beginning, and let me tell you from personal experience it is terrifying not understanding why your mind keeps on bringing up fantasies like that.

The only sensible thing to do is arm kids with the knowledge and tools to deal with their sexuality, whatever form that might take. The fact we don't is a failure of puritan prejudice that all of us have been conditioned to see as normal. If a kid has the bare minimum of proper sexual education then they wont even blink an eye at a leather puppy at pride. And if they don't, it is better that they are exposed to the idea of alternative lifestyles and sexually subversive fantasies (in this very mild and safe way) as early as possible because they might need to know.

[sukirichi]

Aaaaaaaa sukiiiiiii why you do this to meeeee 😭😭

Brain mush, im very exhausted so im sorry if ill rant dhdhajdjs

The whole rin diary part - sparked lots of joy 🥺🥺🥺

This part right after

This does not spark joy 😒 like really? really? After we kept admitting we still love rin even while being with omi we go ahead and say that? Especially after reading the damn diary... Really?

This update made my heart shatter for our dearly idiot rin even more.. He keeps thinking we just... Wont love him if we know who he really when (jokes on him we do know) and it just.. It really breaks me

The fact he truly looks that low on himself to the point he believes we are with him just cause hes a prince and if he never was we wouldnt even notice him... Bruh i just.. I want to hug him.. Royal life truly shattered him mentally to the point he has no self esteem uh..

This part tho caught my attention:

He keeps trying to push us away but perhaps cause he's noticeable tired, I mean its described at o e point that he has dark circles under his eyes, what i believe its because hes been sleeping on the couch or something because he refuses to sleep in the same bed as iris (since he did kinda hinted that she had the bed all to herself). And perhaps thanks to him being exhausted he just cant stop himself fron letting little truths come out, he didnt even seem to notice it while we truly did.

Im still disappointed? Bitter? Ahahahha that the baby is staying dhshshhdhoas he's our hubby man i dont want him to be having some other bitch's baby when neither he or she wanted it 🙃 like please just do something good for the story iris and go ahead and lose it 🤣��� at this point only the queen will be pissed and we love that royal bitch pissed 🤣🤣

Sorry i wanted to give a better review but damn my job has been killing me ahahahah thank you so much for another update tho, these even tho they kill me 🤡 in a way always cheer me up and make me having something to look forward for.

Also yes kuroooooo destroy the bitchhhhh ahahhaha

the rin diary part!! man I remember having to like sit down for a long time just so I could use the perfect words LIKE WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ITS HARD TO BE POETIC LMFAO. not that it DID become poetic but it was the best I could pull out of my ass lmaoooo. omg okay I get that it doesn’t spark joy but hear me out!! at that point we’d already fallen for kiyoomi and yknow like… we already know that rintaro hasn’t been that good anyway, and we’re finally choosing what’s right, what’s BETTER (because dtd!yn has always been a character who will most likely end up doing what she thought was right and its really hard to change her mind lol but it’s just!! a matter of what feels right in that moment!!) and in that moment choosing kiyoomi and finally accepting that he has feelings for us felt like the right one! and the diary you know, it really is confusing cuz like – WE LITERALLY HAD JUST BEGUN OUR THING WITH KIYOOMI AND EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL then we see that our husband has always been secretly writing his feelings about us LIKE THE TIMING HONESTLY CAN’T GET ANY WORSE LOL

oh yeah… rin’s inferiority complex has just completely gotten worse because all his insecurities have gone from ten to a hundred. like he somehow always felt like he wasn’t good enough but to know that he was never a prince?! my boy needs therapy. and yes omg that part!! I know during the scene where he kicked us out our room was trying to imply that he wants to share the same bed as iris but naur!! my boy rin won’t even touch her within a ten foot pole in that moment, he just stays on the couch and can barely sleep because he sent us to belleview manor of all places. I just know he stayed up all night thinking about what we’re doing with kiyoomi and well… his imaginations are right because we’re making out with him lol. LMAOOOO I KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT THE BABY I think its bcos iris has been off-screen for such a while now that lowkey I forgot she and the queen existed (in other terms I’m just too excited to write about runaway rin and yn!! and I’m such a pea brain lol)

also no omg!! I hope you’re getting some rest and a well-deserved break though! and thank you so muchhh IM SO HAPPY YOU’RE ENJOYING DTD HEHEHEHE as always I appreciate you for showing so much love and I’m sending you more back!! <33

[magnoliamyrrh]

. ive got such a long list of reasons to be bitter and fed up and angry. i have so much pain within me. sometimes i feel like pain, deep, deep, sorrowful pain, mourning, grief, anger, a desperate need to stop feeling suffocated is what i know best. and u know as much as i think all thats justified and as much as i think my anger is important for my sanity , and as much as tbh i like by this point to an extent that my over it little tolerance for bullshit angry kinda agressive vibe is a part of my personality - that my bitterness is earned and aged like fine win. but idk, i have tired to rein it in these last months progressively bc it was consuming me and my nervous system literally couldnt handle it

but. something i still havent figured out how to deal w is my very, very, very bad case of survivors guilt. maybe its gotten a bit better but that makes me feel guilty too. it always does. i try not to let it haunt me but It Always done it haunts me that its somehow not supposed to consume and haunt me

. after everything my own pain and trauma is not what fucks me up the most. its always that its not over for so many others. for so many others its not over, its never over, theyre going through it rn, many worse than anything i ever went through. many that wont make it out alive

.

my best friend says its not my responsibility especially with my crippled health and the little of my fragile sanity to try to do something about it. that spending years trying to do something about sex trafficking or whatever else would break me, eat me up inside, that people who aint traumatized end up killing themselves or alchoholics, shells from what they've seen, so what would it do to me? he says. ive earned my rest, ive earned looking away, ive earned my peace

...

but what does that matter? what it would do to me? he says he doesnt understand why i spend so much time writing and speaking on this shit. at first it was to understand myself. now it is the horror that it is so much more horrible and bad and keeps going, its not me. its others. i always have felt more impacted by seeing others in pain than myself. i never can stand seeing my pain on someone else.

he says he doesnt understand why i look. he says he doesnt understand why i think. he says he doesnt understand why i study. doesnt understand why i want to do something about it when its so horrible

........

but ive been.... lucky. not so but lucky. lucky enouth to live. to get out. to get my "freedom."

but what does "my" individual freedom mean? when others dont have it? what does it matter?....... what does it matter?

it feels like my trauma isnt over through them. its not. im just one person, but for so many its not over. it wont be over. they may never see over until their graves.... time is a flat circle and all

...

and i think, how many? how many? and i think too.... in the history of the balkans, of my people, my women and little girls... how many? for how long?

how many today? everywhere?

how am i supposed to rest easy. how am i supposed to live my life ignoring it

why shouldn't i burn myself out. i already am. why shouldnt i take on the trauma of getting back into it for the sake of others

.

what does my freedom mean without theirs?

.

their screams echo through my head. they were my own once. i have stopped screaming

they have not

[gayspock]

ok 1 menty b for me

i dont know. i think its just always been so alienating. i think theres something wrong with me and its unfixable. and sometimes, if i cant have anything else, i just want at least the fucking chance to express that without people thinking even less of me. and ik in reality nobody even gaf or sees me. but i also know know that if they did, 9times out fo 10 people would be rolling their eyes. whatever. idk. i feel so lonely and i dont think im ever not going to be lonely and its never going to get better because even when given the resources, the opportunities i just can never manage . i just cant . i swear i try . but every single time. my whole fucking life . i just walk away from everything with even less, it feels like. and its getting so much harderand harder. and i dont know how to express it liek ... i fucking feel myself SEETHE as ppl keep insisting "theres still a chance! there's still hope!" like sure bro. but i dont want to fucking keep living my life along the fucking asymptote of getting consistently closer to dying alone but "haha technically its not a certainty" and . like theres just something so fucking repulsive about me and i just cant seem to fix it no matter what. and im so exhausted all the time. and i genuinely dont think theres any way out of that . i go to work and i come home so burnt out and tired. and people are nice there but i dont think i can really connect with anyone . i just cant seem to get close to people . and i dont have it within me to meet anyone else because im so fucking tired all of the time .

and even if i did and i mustered all the energy and spent all the little time i had left in the world i dont think theyd have time for me. not just bc nobody in their 20s does but also because i dont know . it just never seems to work . and i cant do it again where i try to invest every little piece of me into it when its jsut always left me fucking miserable and pathetic. bro do you know what i mean. not to be 16 and lame as shit still. i feel like im always the idiot ppl take pity on at best . i dont think ive ever been real to anybody. like alwaysssssss...... and even now i feel like every time I HAVE existed within circles of others. its literally 10 times out of 10 just constantly fighting to be included and seen as someone whos not a fucking joke and i just feel like such a fucking . loser for caring so much about it when. REALISTICALLY. pretty much all the people ive met in life will have forgotten i exist. and ok. ok. i just dont think ... like its not like some trait within me right like ... im not As melodramatic to be like oh . oh theres an actual innate trait within me thats activated and stops people liking me. just. the contrary like. i just think theres nothing within me to actually like . or to gravitate towards. so likeyeah sure . that makes sense. why WOULD you want to bother with someone whos just kinda hollow or whatever.. something something or other. and i kind of wish i was more resilient about tht. but i jsut . i guess as is a Guy of that Nature, its just ... im trying to fucking not fucking spiral but i just feel myself fucking filling up with fucking . miserable SHITTY bile or whatever because i just wish i felt normal or whatever. its such a fucking human fucking thing that other people can MANAGE. but i cant . its so so fucking hard and i cant do it and i cant handle it. and i just feel so angry sometimes anyways . bc i hate it . and i keep trying bc i wanna make peace with it because i know theres no out . like ive long since given up on ever thinking its going to work out . because nothing fucking helps but makes it so much worse . anyways. i dont know. but i dont know bro. it drives me fucking insane when people always spout some bs about how "haha everyone has someone! everyone will find someone! like no they dont no they wont . its so .. so much more isolating. or like "EVERYONEEE feels lonely sometimes" like HOW does that help. HOW. and it makes it so MUCH FUCKING WORSEEEE when people tell you about how lonely they are too!!! like cool . i dont have a chance then. sorry i know thats such a bitter bitch thing to say. but idk if it rlly matters like ... at the end of the day idc when ppl have partners. or people they talk to. family who loves them. and youre still lonely. cool. thank you for letting me know, dude. go back to the people who will look out for you and love you whilst i sit in the dark and not speak to anyone for weeks whilst not a single person would even notice im gone .

or like. bro. i dont think a single person has taken me seriously for long enough to ever fucking like me or hold me in enough regard to like... want to talk to me again nevermind like be with me in a certain sense so i jsut. i dont know. sits alone. every fucking day for years maybe. i dont know. i feel so fucking sad and angry knowing deep down that i can know all this and know its true but even then . i cant even have that . people wont even take THAT part of me seriouslyand think im just some fucking idiot whos not even trying. when i really reallyhave but its just so... worthless it feels like . it feels like im never getting anywhere and everyone thinks i just gave up when i didnt. and i dont know. thar makes it sound like people actually see me and really are laughing or something when i dont think its nearly that much. i think its like oh people see me make that as a snap judgement and i fall out of existence again. and i dont know. it shouldnt matter but i feel so fucking strung out and exist between these instances only and idk. idk bro. im trying to be okay with it. but as im getting older i just feel like theres so many more things that are revealing themselves as worse and worse. and im going crazy. im going crazzzzzzyyyy . whatever . insert the mental breakdown gifs . the funny ones where those guys aremoving really fast

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hii plz just ignore this if you’re uncomfortable or reply to it if you'd like to reply I really would appreciate it but I just need to get some stuff out of my chest

I feel so so bad I just cant see whats the point in my life anymore I feel as if Im just consuming and not giving anything in return I feel useless I dont know how to take a joke or how to make one I dont know how to express my feelings and emotions properly and people keep getting the wrong ideas and Im tired of explaining anything to anyone and I feel as if all of my friends aren’t really there like Im just a passing person on their life I keep losing people and I keep leaving people afraid of them leaving me sometimes and I dont get what the hell is wrong with me sometimes I wish I was never born or if I were someone else but then again I wish I had the power to keep moving and make my life better but I cant even do that I study day and night and I dont get the grade that I want while some people I knew spends their whole life on social media and they are getting full grades literally I feel like Im useless in every aspect of life and I know I shouldn’t be complaining and there are people who have it worse but I really needed to get that out of my chest and I can’t trust anyone of the people I know to tell them all of this also Im going through exams and shit so I just feel really pressured and all

Anyway thank you if you wasted your time reading this or not it doesn’t matter but I really enjoy your writings as well they make me feel alive so thank you for existing🩵

hello!

i thought for a long time today on how to reply to this. or if i should. get asks like this that are triggering can be very tricky to navigate, because on one had it is hard for me. and on the other, i care and have sympathy for you. and i think sometimes, it is easier to reach out to stranger about how you feel than people you love. so i would never blame you for that, or want to make you feel worse.

mostly, i want to say i am unqualified to help you completely. because im just a person who's live a vague concept of a life. take my words with a grain of salt.

i think the most important thing for you to remember is that everything you are experiencing is temporary. and i dont say that to dismiss you, but because i think it worth examining everything in your life and thinking that when it gets to be too much. you are worrying about so much at once, but you'll disillusion yourself in that process.

suffering, pain, excitement, joy. these are all very temporary things to feel, even when they seem like they'll go on forever. they are big, abstract concepts that will torment you near relentless if you let them. the only thing that you have with you concretely, is what you are able to do right now.

i wont tell you that life will immediately get better because to make a life that doesn't make you suffer takes so much time. it is so much work to build a good life and it is constant work - but never impossible. but i think it will quell the pain a little to take a deep breath and slow down to process what you're experiencing, which is a big brush of hopelessness that is so encompassing.

everything feels hopeless because you trying to tackle everything all at once. to me, it doesn't sound like you want to die. it sounds like you want it to be easier. it sounds like you want to burden the lessen, which ultimately means you desire a life. and you sound like you're trying very hard to do that all while worrying about everything else at the same time.

i dont know if i have any advice for you. any good advice, but if i could urge you do anything - it would be to take a deep breath and remember it will pass. it always does. and after that, sort your problems out one by one. and once you've done it, pick the thing that is most urgent that you can change, and start to work towards it. do it slowly and try to keep everything else out of your mind.

if you fail, forgive yourself. you have to forgive yourself. sometimes, the only thing you are able to do is live. or try to live. that doesn't make you useless. no human beings worth is measured by what they can and cannot do. you wouldn't love someone based on what they do but who they are.

and maybe you don't like who you are. maybe your friends aren't the right fit. maybe it will be lonely for a while. you can change it. you can find something new or maybe it will teach you to like your own company. it will pass and you will come out of the other side. but the only way to change those things is to try, and sometimes fail, and to forgive yourself after that and then try more. the world is not ending you just have to take it one day at a time.

it will be fine because everything passes unwillingly. and eventually this will just be another bad day. you're not useless. give yourself some grace for trying. and i hope it gets easier.

[ni-de-mama]

ace attorney fans on discord, yall are fucking stupid. genuinely this is the stupidest discourse ive seen in my entire fucking life. the owner was removing unsafe people from her server. it's HER fucking server and she has the complete right to. dont dms exist? who the FUCK is policing you here? why do we need to have this fucking war when you could just go to another server with that banned member? fucking hell, have some common sense. the fact that adults are getting so aggressive makes it even worse. the minor here is making stupid decisions and saying stupid things and yall are encouraging her. nobody from the mod team was fucking coddling anyone. they were literally just saying we shouldn't fucking encourage harmful behaviour in their server. literally go encourage it in another server and it won't be any of the mods' business and they won't give a flying fuck. and what's with rejoining after ban with a new account? why the fuck are yall even trying to stay at this point if you hate this server and the mod team then fucking LEAVE. literally what do you want?????????? clearly the mods are being sent into panic attacks because of yall. do yall feel great now??? i was so glad i found a space i could talk in with other aa fans, and now ive lost that thanks to yalls stupid fucking discourse over some idk nearly 30 year old who doesn't know how to communicate properly. and the minor in question? not everything is about you. even i can see that, as a lurker. protecting minors does not mean bending to your every will. fucking hell, this server wasnt made just for you. protecting minors meant protecting all the other minors who felt unsafe, good for you if you didn't! you don't have to be so selfish and want the adult to stay so the other minors can feel unsafe lolllll. why did that mod have to justify them being uncomfortable around that adult? does it not matter that they just did? and now the mods are the ones shutting you down? use your fucking brain please. can't believe i have to lose this place because of this. literally everyone got too comfortable with hurting the mods here. its not even like yall couldve done a better job communicating with the banned member, the mod team clearly did their best to communicate with someone who only knew how to retaliate to their every request. are yall blind? i could see that happen, how come yall couldnt? bc yall are their friends obvious fucking ly. not to mention the banned member started spreading rumours that the owner called them a predator? fucking almost 30yo and youre still spreading rumours? christ on earth lol i saw everything. i saw the video i saw screenshots. that did not happen. is it that hard to look at this situation with less bias towards the ""victim""?? hope yall are happy that yall hurt the other members who love this place, and most of all the mod team who has to deal with yalls bullshittery. fucking wake up and see how stupid yall have been acting. jfc this is disgusting, yall disgust me, in a server for a game abt law yall clearly have not learnt anything. bringing your horrifying reading comprehension from tumblr to discord. sorry, clearly yall did not even fucking read whatever the mods said. yall ask for an explanation, the mods gave you one, you rebut it with a completely irrelevant point and then we go back to square one? not only that but yall kept demanding answers angrily, hostile and aggressive. how many times did the mods say they would be releasing a statement soon? yall asking for answers would give them no time to write it. and they have fucking lives outside of discord, unlike yall who have nothing to do but shout at strangers on the internet because they wont bend to your will in THEIR server. yall make me laugh. grow the fuck up. all of yall need to grow the actual fuck up.

[safetycar-restart]

It's me again, I came here to bother Charles. Idk why but it's like my fav thing to do, hope you don't mind

In the past, Charles had a bad dom who punished him for many things and didn't look after him very well. He was spanked and overstimulated as punishment for the slightest mistake.

So now he's in a relationship with you but he's still scared. And it's killing him 'cause he wants to be good for you because he loves you so much and he wants to please you! He' d like to cook you a nice dinner, but he's scared of making any mistake during the proces or that you won't like the taste. And of course he knows that you love him and won't do such a horrible thing, but his little mind is too frightened.

Some days it's so bad that Charles is afraid to do anything without your permission but at the same time he's afraid to ask. Because the previous dom used to punish him for not asking permission or punish him for asking permission. It just depended on his mood. And now the poor thing is so confused, he don't know what he's supposed to do.

So sometimes you're just sitting on the couch and watching something in the tv and Charles suddenly tenses up. It's because he needs to go to the bathroom, but his mind is so messed up that he doesn't know if he should just go, ask you, or not say anything at all. The poor thing is so confused! So now it's your job to recognize what your sub needs and reassure him that everything is fine.

You're working to make his fear and confusion go away, but sometimes it's just really hard. But you'd be able to do anything to make Charles feel better, so you know it's worth it.

- 🪸

Listen, I will NEVER mind you popping into my askbox to torture Charles a little. It's so good!! I'm gonna make this part of the past experiences au, because that's an au centring around the drivers having had bad Doms in the past. And I love this so much! It's so angsty but so good. Never stop bothering Charles.

All Charles has ever wanted to do is be a good boy, to make his dom proud and receive praise and cuddles and forehead kisses. That's it, all he wants. Sure he has other kinks he enjoys, but the overarching theme is being a good boy.

And his old dom took advantage of that. His old dom knew that they would be able to get Charles to do whatever they wanted to, to completely control Charles because Charles would do anything to please them.

The relationship eventually falls apart when Charles accepts that he will never be able to make his dom happy. He feels broken, like a failure of a sub and it takes him so long before he lets you dom him, not because he doesnt want you to dom him, but because he doesnt think he's worthy, doesnt think he can be good enough.

The story of Charles's first time submitting to you involves several breakdowns and love confessions, but that's for another ask. The point is this: Charles just desperately wants to be a good boy, but he's so confused and uncertain and he doesnt know what to do.

The saddest part is that Charles actually does know what he wants to do, he just doesnt know if that's what he should do. His old dom berated him no matter what he did, and he's so scared to try something with you and have you be upset with him.

Despite the fact that you've literally never degraded him ever, he's still so scared that you will one day. Mostly because he knows that he wont recover if you do. Just one bit of degradation and he would break so much worse than years of his old dom.

He has this little scenario he thinks of often when he needs to comfort himself. It's simple, really. Just him making you a nice dinner, something simple that he's confident he can do without messing up, and then having you hand feed him while you eat your dinner. Then, he gets taken to the bedroom and treated so softly.

Except he's so scared to do it because even if you've told him what to cook, he could still mess it up. There were so many instances with his old dom where he had done exactly what was asked of him and still been berated for doing something wrong.

Some days are better than others, and you're always nothing but supportive.

Sometimes Charles is so confused and lost in his own head that he doesnt know what to do. He wants to ask you if he can do something, but his old dom got angry if he asked. So when he thinks he won't ask and just do, but then he remembers how often his old dom got upset if he didnt ask for permission.

He just... he's so confused!! He just wants to be a good boy, that's all he wants. So has no idea what to do.

Poor little Charles not knowing if he can go to the bathroom without permission is so heartbreaking.

Maybe the two of you were cuddling? And Charles is just having the best time, snuggling up in your arms and not even paying attention to the tv because he's so comfy. He never wants this to end.

But then he needs to go to the bathroom. The problem is that he feels so subby? He's spent the whole day with you and now he's in your arms and he can't help the way he just wants to be your good boy and have no thoughts.

So when he needs to get up to go to the bathroom, he gets so confused!! Because he's feeling so subby, and so he wants to ask you if he can go. But at the same time, his old dom got so angry if he asked for something at the wrong time.

Then there's also the fact that he loves cuddling you so much!! He doesnt want that to end. He wants to be able to go to the bathroom and then come right back for more cuddles. But what if you're annoyed by him leaving? What if you dont let him have more cuddles when he gets back?

He doesnt know what to do and he feels so small and subby and so scared.

You feel him tense up in your arms, and you frown because he was so plaint and comfy a few seconds ago. When you look down and see the pout on his face, you know what's happened. Well, not exactly. You dont know the exact problem, but you know it has something to do with Charles's old dom.

"Charles?" you ask, keeping your voice soft, "what's going on in that pretty head of yours, huh?"

Now, well now Charles has to answer you. He doesnt know if you'll be annoyed by your answer or not, but he can't ever lie to his dom and so he tells you the truth.

"Need the bathroom," he mumbles, burying his head in your chest, "but dont know if I should ask.."

Your heart breaks for your good boy.

"Aw, sweetheart," you tell him, kissing the top of his head, "it would have been perfectly fine if you asked or not. Okay? Either way would have been just fine. But now, why dont you go off to the bathroom quickly and then you can come back for more cuddles, yeah?"

Charles nods, daring to sneak up and give you a quick kiss before he runs off. Things like that happen all the time, with Charles suddenly becoming insecure and uncertain what to do.

I think the solution might be to introduce safe words outside of scenes? Charles can use red, yellow and green outside of scenes, and you can ask him for a colour if you're worried.

But, he could also use 'blue'. Blue means that he's confused and scared and doesnt know what to do, but just wants to be a good boy.

It takes him a while to get used to using the new safeword, but it does wonders once he's used to it.