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#it just upsets me that nice people have to deal with this shit
mossy-rot · 8 months
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reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism
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arcaneyouth · 22 days
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post office task complete despite everything.
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advisorsage · 9 months
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I think I've fucked up
#i ranted to my girlfriend and i know she probably is just busy but my brain is screaming that i made her upset even though..#my rant was about my own situation and how i feel about it and then i apologized for complaining at her and said that i wasn't supposed to#and I'm worried she thinks she's not supposed to complain to me when i just meant that i don't like telling people about my shit#and i know she said i could tell her and that she wants to support me but she and my boyfriend are my first relationships#and i don't want to fuck up and i think i have and i haven't told my boyfriend about my diagnosis yet#and I'm scared I'll complain at him too when i tell him and i don't care that he's told me i can and should complain to him#i don't want to saddle them with my complaints#and i called out of work because of how I'm feeling from my diagnosis and that's what i ranted to my girlfriend about#and i'm terrified she doesn't want to date me anymore because my reaction to being diagnosed with one more thing is so fucking pathetic#and i just need to cry and scream and throw up and i can't do any of those things and i feel like everyone except her is telling me#it's no big deal when it is a big deal and i don't think i got it through to my therapist and I'm just freaked out and i don't want to cling#and and and I'm just. i hate existing right now#i feel like i shouldn't do what i want to at home because i called out from work and i know that's stupid but i don't feel like i deserve#nice things right now despite needing them and I'm just so tired but not sleepy and i feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and#i can't even do anything about it!#fuck#i fucked myself over basically#anyway#drink water you heathens
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loumauve · 1 year
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#running face first straight into every single rejection sensitive wall atm and it's so frustrating#like. can we just not do this rn brain? I'm too tired to deal with this on top of everything else#all it does is make me alienate myself from people I care about and make me feel like shit afterwards#and it doesn't fix any of the underlying issues either. (like. I've been upset about ppl not doing what I do)#(as in read all of my fic like I try to read all my friends' fic usually. but like.. not everyone can and not everyone wants to)#(but it's one of those irrational things of 'if they cared about me wouldn't they also try' even tho that's not a fair ask)#(and like.. most people don't read random fic for fandoms they're not even in so this is entirely stupid to be upset about)#(but here we are anyway)#just.. me. raw to the very nerve and too tired to fix anything that might help alleviate it#I just want to feel normal again. and like I have control over my emotional state#but between 'dude fucked up bc of his borderline being triggered by grief and letting out all his frustrations on me for weeks'#and 'other dude grieving but not processing and not even taking a break to figure out where he's at emotionally..#..therefore dropping all of his unprocessed baggage and his part of the group work right on top of me' I'm just having a heck of a month#and idk. it would have been nice to talk to sb about my fic even if it's older now and not the best perhaps#(doesn't help when everybody you know writes really great fic and you're just outside the door scribbling some ideas into the sand)#idk. usually I do better in disconnecting self-worth and accomplishments and stop myself before the comparisons with others start#but rn it's all too much and I'm drained and exhausted and nothing feels good or helps much at all.#anyway.#it is what is I guess. and what it is is fucked and I doubt it's gonna change anytime soon.#that's not me being unrealistic or depression talking. it's based on how things have progressed thus far#there's another year and a half of this kind of stress which will likely get worse when our group grows from 18 to 31 in October#and then I'd have to start working proper again which I haven't in over two years bc of all the rehabilitation I've been going through#and it's terrifying and I'm already exhausted and worn down and worn out and I just don't know how normal is ever gonna be my life again
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a-clarice-dream · 3 days
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A thoughts on a tale of trying to see F1 live in the next year: a very upset fan rant.
My home GP, tickets having recently gone on sale. Great! I think. It’s the weekend of my birthday, I’ll treat myself. And it’s a big treat myself, because I’d be having to travel to go.
The grandstand tickets: last year it was surge priced and not at all what was initially disclosed, which is borderline illegal (and I suspect will remain the same). All good ones this year tied up in $6000+ experience packages. I have a chronic illness that makes GA not an option, unless I want to hang around for as long as I can tolerate it and accept that I may have to leave mid race, which considering that I have to travel to attend is not a good option.
The hospitality tickets: all even remotely reasonable ones gone in two seconds. Everything else is over $3000, and I’m not game to buy certain ones because the weather is very unpredictable. Except if you’re a business - mysteriously, there are still openings for businesses to host parties in places that are “allocation exhausted” for us plebeians regular fans.
I think to myself, damn, I can’t really afford this. Let’s see what’s on in my city that weekend:
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything is in the other city where the race is. Not even a watch party that I can find. And I don’t have irl friends who are into formula 1, so I’m not even able to host a watch party or something like that for a race falling over my own damn birthday weekend.
I think and dream and hope that I can go to the GP in person, knowing that the tickets are insane, even just for Sunday, and speak to my family. They’re even willing to chip in and make it my birthday present. I do the math, and to fly to the city, stay there and see the race is over $6000. That is the price of a nice international round trip flight. That is nothing to sneeze at.
So I research. I read everything I can about the place I was trying to get a ticket for, and find out that most of the hospitality tickets for this race are consistently bought out by corporate and business shmoozers whose employees get to go for free and try and sell each other shit while having not a single fuck to give about the race. Reviewers and online comments consistently convey that these people are not there for the race, and they don’t care for any part of the technical side of the sport: you will not be among fans. Moreover, it’s implied that the free booze et al. is what many of them are actually there for. It’s kind of hateful as a fan to know this is what is playing out; and that genuine fans of a sport are being priced out of the best seats by businesses and corporate TM who do not give a fuck about racing. Knowing I’d be attending alone, a horrible thought races in the back of my mind about the incident a few years back with the woman supporting Mercedes who was assaulted by drunken men Redbull supporters in the grandstands. Throw in the fact that I know cell signal at these events is often appalling, I’m not feeling overly confident or comfortable for my personal safety. Being alone and in this situation that could potentially turn shoddy very quickly is suddenly sounding highly unappealing despite the fact that I love this sport and this is supposed to be my birthday present.
The nail in the coffin is that the accomodation is almost as much as the hospitality ticket. It’s not particularly nice accomodation either, but everything is booked out only days after the first tickets were released and the hotels are very aware of how much they can scalp on this weekend.
Ultimately and heartbreakingly, I decided that I absolutely cannot justify the cost. Especially as a woman travelling alone, it’s not worth it, and I’m not a woman who shies away from doing things alone. And I love this sport so damn much and I want to see it live, but it genuinely feels like the fans are being priced out. A part of me wonders whether the recession the government is currently pretending isn’t happening would make the tickets cheaper closer to the time; but the consensus online is generally that there aren’t any tickets available closer to the time for this race; and knowing what’s already gone down with the accommodation, that will get even worse closer to the time of the race. I actually think it will all get worse, as the state hosting the race is in dire economic straits and is really looking to squeeze cash out of anything that moves gather money by any means possible and the formula racing just happens to look like a huge paycheck.
I hate it. I hate it all. I just wanted to enjoy my favourite sport and the racing that happened to fall on the weekend of my birthday, live.
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stellardeer · 24 days
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Yall ever think about how much is passed down between children that adults may be completely oblivious to.
Which goes for positive and negative things.
Like games that an older child taught to a younger one, who then taught it to another child below them the next year. There's plenty of stuff I remember doing that no adult ever taught me.
But that also goes for the bad parts of being young like bullying.
It's why it would be so hard to stop the cycle of bullying altogether. A 5th grader treats the 4th graders like they're all babies and they need to stop doing certain things and act a certain way, and the 4th graders don't like it but they internalize it so they end up doing the same thing to class below them a year later. Or high school seniors treating freshman like absolute dogshit just for being freshman, and they hate it so much but by the time they become seniors they think they've earned the right to do the same thing to the younger kids. So it repeats indefinitely.
And it's not even necessarily something that adults can intervene in if they don't know it's happening. They can give all the bullying PSAs they want and maybe they'll catch one individual act and punish it, but you would have to convince multiple generations of students to drop this behavior in order for it to truly disappear.
#we had something kind of like this at the high school i graduated from#it was a 3 year school but you had to apply to get in and you could only enter as a sophomore or a junior#most people entered as sophomores and there were not a whole lot of incoming juniors cause they already had students from the previous year#but i entered as a junior simply because i didnt know that it was an option when i was going into my sophomore year#well the 'returning' students all treating the 'incoming' students like they were just dirt beneath their feet and didnt belong there#and i had a few people be nice to me at first but ultimately i ended up being friends only with sophomores or other incoming juniors#which i was kind of fine with cause there werent a lot of people in my class that even looked like someone i would like anyway#but it was ridiculous when i entered my senior year and i watched all the same people who hated being treated like shit the previous#year start doing the exact same stuff to the new students. i tried my best to not fall into the mindset but i was also too meek to call it#out in the people around me at the time. but it ended up becoming a whole issue when we got close to graduation#see they had originally only allowed juniors to the school. and the school colors were blue and green. but like UGLY blue and green.#and the graduation gowns were blue with an ugly ass green stole. well when they started allowing sophomores they gave the 3rd yr garduates a#white stole to differentiate them. which was only a handful at first. until eventually it turned into mostly white stoles with a few green.#well the administration finally agreed that the green stoles were ugly as fuck the year the i graduated and decided to give everyone a white#stole but with little green chevrons denoted the number of years you attended so you either had 2 arrows or 3 arrows#for some reason! the entitled fucking 3rd year seniors decided this was an affront to their very existence and make a huge fucking deal#about it. we ended up having a whole class meeting over it. one girl even said that her mom was upset by it because 'she sent her daughter#away so young' (literally only 1 year before us but whatever..) and i ended up chiming in at one point because i couldnt take it anymore#and i explained how nobody in the room was my friend because the returning students were rude to me. they acted like they were better than#every one else. they treated us like we didnt belong there. and its not my fault that i didnt even know the school existed 1 year earlier.#and the whole room just got silent and the admins were like 'oh i see. we werent aware that this was going on'#like it was literally 'tradition' to treat new students like shit and the adults in charge just had no fucking idea#anyway i really hope things changed after that probably not but i can only hope.
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be-good-to-bugs · 3 months
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WOW i am way overemotional lately
#the bin#makes sense since im suddenly living with my mom and 4 different siblings after almost 2 years#and everything here is extremely different. ive been SO overemotional the past few days especially. but ive also been sick so ofc i have#bleh. im aglad that it doenst bleed into my behavior around people much. esp with irl stuff#i still treat my siblings nicely and dont like. flip out for no reason. i have 1 useful skill and its this lol#but itss good i have it because i am pretty much always an emotional wreck bc ny life sucks and has sucked for its entirety#i dont think its ever not sucked. like even when i was a baby. i dont remember being a baby but i do know that when i was a baby my parents#neglected me so. i guess my kufe has just always been bad. but hey. at least im still nice to other people. unlike literally everyone else#i know who when tehyre in a bad mood they go SO mean. but in (most) of their defense they are traumatized children so like. fair enough#ur going through it and we all process stuff different. i bet its nice to have a brain that feels safe to express that stuff haha#i think abt how awful i always feel and how hard doing anything is a lot and i relaly think that if i had friends things would be ok for me#i cant helo that im psychotic or that i have a bunch of physically painful disabilities or any of that but i think i coupd deal with it all#and feel ok if i just had like. any person who i was friends with. i dont have anyone at all and i havent for a long time. no wonder i feel#like shit 100% of the time and im constantly overwhelmed and upset and panicing and all my mental illnesses are unbearable#like. no wonder i have wanted to die nonstop since the age of 11. yeah no shit. everything has been fucking horrible thus far and i dont#have any freinds that make being alive worth it#someone should give me a good peize for not being dead right now bc god. evwry second of every day that im awake its so hard#lol no wonder i immediately developed a drug addiction. hey man its better than being so miserable you wanna die literally all the time#at least there SOMETHING that turns it off for awhile. hate when people act like addiction is the worst thing in the world#maybe the thing people develop addictions to cope with is worse actually. and that needs solved first or else whats the point#oh but my opinion doenst matter apparently bc im just a cRaZy DeLuSiOnAl AdDiCt and my opinion cant be trusted#bleh. whatever. at least i have my tumblr posts that are veey rareky even seen by other people to scream into the void whatever im upset abt#thats almost like talking to another person
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ethereal-mists · 10 months
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There's this one guy in one of my friend groups that's always calling people names 'as a joke', despite being told several times to stop, and is just generally not a great person. The other people we're friends with are too kindhearted to kick him out, so he just gets away with it and it pisses me off.
BUT
I recently figured out a way to sort of deal with him
He called my friend a bitch, and she was very Not Happy about it, but has given up trying to stop him. So when she went quiet, I added, 'And a boss'. Asshole guy said, "No, just a bitch". So I said, "A bitch and a boss, and she shines like gloss, what's not clicking?"
And he kept insisting "She's a bitch" and every time he did, I finished it with those dojacat lyrics and he got increasingly more frustrated until he left the call. Guess who stopped calling people bitches since?
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nadvs · 2 months
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In sleeping with the enemy,
What if people know that they’re just fucking and the jealous girls give shit to reader about how she’s just a lay making her cry and then rafe hearing about it
THE ANGST OF THIS. I LOVE IT 🙂‍↕️
based on this fic
she and rafe keep hooking up with no strings attached and actually develop a good friendship. they both like how the other is direct. they don’t bullshit each other. it’s easy because he’s never really cared to mince his words and she’s so jaded about love and men that she doesn’t worry about hurting his feelings.
she gives him shit about how he has no emotions and he says she’s the exactly the same way. it’s what makes their dynamic so good. they don’t have to worry about feelings getting in the way. they’re friends with benefits in the purest form.
their time together almost always revolves around sex, but sometimes they hang out as friends, and one night, rafe invites her to a frat party on his college campus.
she recognizes a few cheerleaders from rafe’s team at the party and they’re immediately shooting her dirty looks. one of them says “i don’t know why he invited her” loudly and she can tell right away that one of the girls in the group must have a history with rafe because her friends look to be comforting her.
“she’s just a piece of ass to him,” another says, clearly projecting her voice. at this point, she knows she shouldn’t care, but the harsh truth that she hasn’t found a guy who wants to be serious with her yet stings.
she’d stand up for herself, but she’s had a rough day and she hates that she’s alone at that moment, so she rushes out of the party, upset that they succeeded in making her cry.
rafe notices her leaving in a rush, wedging out of the crowd. she hears him calling her name when she steps out of the house into the night air.
“are you crying?” he asks. he’s only ever seen her having fun, pissed off, or horny. this is new.
“don’t give me shit about it, alright?” she says, stopping in her tracks and wiping her tears away. “i’m not in the mood.”
“did something happen?” he asks, albeit awkwardly. he’s never been good at dealing with other people’s feelings. and he’s never seen her vulnerable like this.
“people are just assholes,” she responds.
“who?” he’s pissed off. who the fuck felt like they had the right to mess with her?
“some girls on your cheer squad,” she replies. “they were saying i’m just a piece of ass to you. and don’t worry, i don’t care about that. i know we’re just messing around. but they were so mean about it.”
rafe scoffs. he knows which girls she’s talking about immediately. he steps closer, tense but determined when he squeezes her hand.
“what are you doing?” she says, cracking a smile. he never acts like this. affectionate. like he cares.
“it’s not about you,” he tells her. “i hooked up with one of them forever ago. i told her i didn’t want to date but she’s obsessed with me. don’t let them get in your head.”
she looks at rafe quizzically.
“you’re just being nice so i don’t stop hooking up with you,” she says, admittedly feeling better.
“is it working?” rafe asks, smirking. she laughs and rolls her eyes and pushes him away.
he doesn’t know when he started actually giving a shit about someone else’s happiness, but it happened with her. seeing her cry made him feel a hard, twisted way he’s never felt before.
“get fucked,” she laughs. he can tell he really did console her. she’s smiling again.
“promise?” rafe says with a grin. he takes her hand again, pulling her towards the house. “you’re not leaving. i didn’t bring you so you’d go home a minute later. i’ll set them straight if they fuck with you again, alright? let’s have fun.”
“fun?” she repeats. “i’m not hooking up with you in a closet, just so you know.”
“i know,” rafe says, hand at the small of her back as they enter the party again. “we can find a bed around here, i bet.”
she shoves his shoulder, mirroring his smile as he guides her through the crowd.
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tesscourtes · 2 months
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saw you had asks open, not a drawing request but wanted to know if there was any more story to your human bill’s punishment-for-weirdmageddon-is-to-turn-weak-human au, I really like it (sorry if you explained this a while back, I only just watched gravity falls😭I’m a late-comer to the fandom)
it’s just superepiccool to me, how are dipper and mabel about him being human now? Soos n Wendy, Stan and Ford? What was it like for them (especially Ford) when he just turned human? What was it like for Bill?
oh hey don't worry, I haven't really talked much about the details of the AU like ... ever. I just started reviving it because I got my partner into the show (they are also a new fan! yay, new fans! Funny enough I had no idea TBOB was coming out so the timing was mad exquisite.) and they have just been an amazing help shaping my messy thoughts and coming up with new, fun plots! It's also nice to know there's someone out there interested in it, so thank's for asking! Now that I read TBOB I want to change the premise a bit, but the core is still the same.
Let me tell you this AU is silly. I'm aware Billford is toxic and there are many corners to dive into to picture their messy relationship. But I kinda wanna keep the spirit of the show here and make it equally as fun as it is disturbing. Given that Bill canonically is trapped in endless Therapy gives me even more food to work with, he just out there being toxic and people repeatedly telling him to cut it out.
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I'm not gonna go into too much detail because I'm actually working on the first comic chapter for this AU, but regarding the characters: Each of the Pines, as well as Wendy and Soos, are not happy seeing him, but individually grow more accustomed to him and with him. I guess going from "most accepting" to "least accepting", Mabel took it the best. I wouldn't say she was quick to forgive, but quick enough to give the guy a chance. And I honestly have to say that, although this is 100% a Billford AU, there's so many plot ideas for just Mabel and Bill and their amazing, chaotic shenanigans. Put these two together and the stories basically write themselves. Wendy is pretty similar, and the most chill in actually helping Bill figure out human stuff.
Naturally, Ford took it the hardest. I'm aiming for slowburn here, haha. They got to figure out some stuff that I'm so ready to put onto pages... Ford is a lot of emotions. Confused, angered, curious... Meanwhile Stan is Bills biggest hater. (There is a lot of bullying in this AU) He just keeps up with it because his Family makes him. He's very protective and tries to kick Bill out several times. Soos sticks with Stan, but he's also Soos and has a big heart, so in Bills eye, he's very gullible and a target he can mess with easily.
Dipper is not a fan either, he has a hard time adjusting to the triangle just getting to ... be there. He's suspicious for the most part and Bill has to try hard to get on his good side. But honestly he might be more upset with Mabel (and later on Wendy) for making friends with Bill so easily, even though he knows that's just their nature. I just recently started thinking about Gideon and how I'd like to include him, but nothing worth mentioning so far yet.
With Bill himself, one my favorite parts trying to portray so far is how he's dealing with his new mortality. He adjusts to the body fine, he knows how to navigate flesh, but he has a hard time accepting that it's his body. His new prison, essentially. If it's gone, he's gone. If he treat's it like shit, he feels like shit. Then we add the psychological aspect of things. And more importantly, we add Ford to the equation. When I tell you, that demon is experiencing psychological damage here, and it's fully his fault. TBOB really pointed out to me that I need to dive into his obsession with Ford. How do you even get a man you fumbled so bad, to even acknowledge you again?
I love yapping about this AU, thanks again for giving me the grounds to do so anon! I'm an insecure writer so it'll probably take another hot minute to choose which script feels best to draw out, haha. But I'm glad you seem to be up for the ride!!
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veryberryjelly · 1 year
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gone to shit
pairing : jake peralta x fem!reader
prompt : "can i have one more hug?" "aw, babe you don't have to ask, c'mere..."
𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
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your day had been going too well for it to continue.
you had gotten to your local coffee shop before it got too busy, gotten up to the bullpen without getting catcalled by some jackass outside and you and your boyfriend were the only ones in the office which was nice.
it was quiet and the first 30 minutes your day was spent sat opposite jake just talking until your friends and colleagues filtered in through the elevator.
and then everything came crashing down.
multiple people in the holding cell caused the bullpen to be filled with noise which was unsettling.
the coffee you had gotten this morning spilled over your desk and your lap.
your phone had died half way through a conversation with your sister and you knew she wouldn't appreciate it seeming like you hung up on her.
and you had misfiled some evidence and had to talk to holt to fix it.
you hoped he would be in a good mood so this wouldn't end up with you getting reamed out.
unfortunately that was not the case.
while he didnt yell you could sense the annoyance & slight disappointment in his tone as he told you do leave so he could deal with it.
and you did leave.
but instead of heading back to your desk you went to the evidence lock up, heading towards the back corner and sinking down onto the floor, the cool surface bringing you out of your head very slightly.
but it wasnt enough to stop the hot burning tears from falling from your eyes.
this wasnt something you should be getting so upset about, there were people in the world that had it a lot worse than you and here you were crying over the tiniest things.
just because they had happened in quick succession it felt so overwhelming.
you were way too in your own head to notice your name being called quietly into the room.
it was only when you saw a set of shoes infront of you that your attention was pulled from the spiralling thoughts in your head.
your hands instantly lifted to wipe at your cheeks to try and pass it off like you weren't crying.
" woah woah, hey. what's wrong, babe? "
the sound of jake's voice did not relax you as much as usual.
you shook your head, trying to shake off this awful tightness in your chest but that did nothing to calm jake's worry.
he crouched down beside you momentarily before sitting down next to you, knowing that his gaze on you could overwhelm you even further.
his arm dropped to around your shoulders and your head instantly dropped down onto the soft fabric of his hoodie.
" you wanna tell me why you're hiding in the evidence lock up ?" he asked, his fingertips running over the fabric of your shirt.
" everything was just going so well this morning and then i spilled my coffee, the holding cell is so full of jackasses, my phone died and then i misfiled some evidence... it all just went to shit "
his small motions on your shoulder were calming you slightly but not by much, your shoulders were still shaking and you couldnt bring yourself to take a full breath.
jake didn't reply for a few moments but his fingertips kept tracing shapes over your shoulder.
" ok, well these are all easy fixes. rosa has a charger in her desk she'll let you use, the holding cell is thinning out really quickly and you left a spare pair of jeans at my apartment a couple days ago and i brought them to give back to you, so you can change into those. "
how he managed to solve all of your problems so quickly you'll never know, but you were just so grateful.
you turned your body further into his, smiling softly when he wrapped his arm tighter around you and pressed a short kiss onto the top of your head.
" thank you "
" you're welcome, babe " he said quietly.
both of you remained sat on the floor of the evidence lock up for a couple more minutes before jake moved to stand and lead both of you back to the bullpen.
before he could take you outside you pulled him back by his hand, a soft and playful pout resting on your lips.
"can i have one more hug?" you asked, tilting your head back to look up at him.
a grin spread across his face.
"aw, babe you don't have to ask, c'mere..."
you quickly closed the two feet between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his torso, your head buried against his chest.
another 5 minutes were spent surrounded by weapons in boxes just hugging your boyfriend.
but when you returned to the bullpen, everything seemed a little bit better
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theautisticwriter · 7 months
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Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader
Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli
Show- Helluva Boss
Genre- romantic, yandere
Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!
Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention
Word count- 1.5K
Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!
key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname
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By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do
Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??
the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.
i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)
^glue
it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.
ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D
from the only bitch worth ur time,
blitzø
<3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)
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Hiya sweet cheeks!!!
It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!
How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.
Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?
Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!
Until next time sweetheart,
Your Mills! ♡
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Hi y/n,
It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.
As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.
We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.
I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.
All my love,
Your Moxxie <3
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Uh, hi?
Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck
Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?
Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.
Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.
I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?
See you,
Love from,
Regards?
Bye y/n,
Loona.
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My dearest y/n,
I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.
Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?
I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.
We truly are written in the stars!
Yours until the end of the sky and then some,
Stolas.
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Hey there baby,
It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.
I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.
It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.
Sincerely yours,
Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo
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Heya cutie!
Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?
Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!
And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.
I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P
Love from,
Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!
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508 notes · View notes
yandere-avatar · 8 months
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My Jealousy, Jealousy Started Following Me
Characters: Avatar Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Toph Beifong, Ty Lee, Avatar Korra, Asami Sato, Tenzin, Kya II, Lin Beifong, Suyin Beifong, Opal Beifong [Might do another with Azula, Mako, Bolin, and Kuvira if yall want] Had this in the drafts for a while. Just had to finish it up. Holy shit this took forever. Kept debating if it was worth it...
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Avatar Aang
Aang likes to think he doesn't get jealous
He's calm and collective
But that all changed when one of the girls at Toph's Metal Bending Academy tried hitting you up
He likes to give them the benefit of the doubt and thinks maybe they don't know you're both dating
"Hey Babe! Come look at this sculpture Toph made!" [He'll call you nonchantly, hoping they'll get the hint]
But when the other person also walks over, still flirting with you, that's when he gets angry
He'd want to confront them, but honestly he's to nice for that
He might ask Katara for help
Katara will tell you how Aang feels
You'll confront Aang, but he'll pretend he doesn't know what you're talking about
"You know, you can tell me, Aang. You trust me, right?"
He'll sigh and admit and you'll comfort him, even confiding in him that sometimes you get jealous when people hit on him
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Katara
HAHAHAHA
Oh, I really feel bad for whoever is flirting with you
Katara is a very jealous woman
She doesn't like people taking what's hers
She might lightly bend them, but she'll do it nonchalantly
She'll justify it by saying that it's not a big deal and you're blowing it out of proportions
She gets really frustrated with herself, because she hates this feeling
She's very powerful, so she's not someone you want to mess with
She gets irritated and will roll her eyes as someone tries to flirt with you
Very passive aggressive
You better be prepared for a fight
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Sokka
He's so confused
Did that person not know you were taken?
He already has insecurities, so this doesn't help
He knows you're great, one of the MANY things he likes about you, so of course people would want your attention, but the point still stands
He'll probably do something stupid to get your attention
It's rather ridiculous
You'll look away from the person flirting with you to see your boyfriend about to get hurt
"Hey, I have to leave, my boyfriend is about to get himself killed"
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Suki
She's very confident, so she's not worried about this person at all
Though, she is annoyed, because who did that person think they were?
She will probably call your attention to her and do something to impress you, so you focus on her
She smiles when seeing you turn your attention away from them [Flirter]
It's a huge win for her
There is a slight part of her that is insecure because she sees you as incredible and she knows other people see it too
What if you end up leaving her? It really bothers her
So she's always doing crazy stuff to impress you so you never leave
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Zuko
Probably the easiest to anger and get jealous
He has no control over his emotions what so ever
He WILL start a fight with the guy hitting on you
He does NOT care who they are or what was say, he's going to put them in their place
But before he does that, he'll express to you that he's upset, but you think it's nothing
He tries to win your affection by beating that guy up
You're just annoyed because you think he overreacted. He says he didn't [He did]
Will gaslight you, saying it's your fault
"Why were you even talking to him!?"
He's so angry and he'll break the closest thing to him
He wants to control his anger, but you really bring out this side of him. He makes sure you know it too, because he tells you
So, when he's done throwing this temper tantrum, you both leave the party; Mad af
You're mad that the party and good vibe was ruined and he's mad that you're mad, because he was just trying to get that dude away from you
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Toph Beifong
She can feel the other person's heart beat pick up as they continue to hit on you
She's annoyed, but doesn't know how to express it healthily
She might use her bending to push that person away from you
She'll give them a show, so that they can have something to talk about
Might even crush them
The thought makes her smirk
She'll send little earthquakes to the person
Treated thems like a ball and and bounces them with the earth, without making it obvious
She'll forget about it when you come over to her and talk to her
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Ty Lee
She's the least likely to get jealous because she's also a player
Though she does get upset when seeing that you're uncomfortable
She'll glare and excuse herself from whatever conversation she's in, even if it's with Azula, and walks over to where you are
Her tactic is to come in hot, just like the person flirting with you
She'll aggressively flirt with them to try and make them uncomfortable
But if that doesn't work, she'll be very direct and say that you're together and that they need to stop
They'll think it's a joke but Ty Lee is dead serious
She's willing to fight them if it comes to that
She might also grab your hand and drag you away, if you ask her not to make a scene
She'll keep an eye on you for the rest of the night
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Avatar Korra
Korra gets extremely jealous
If someone even LOOKS at you in a way she doesn't like, she'll get angry
She's possessive over the things that are hers
Anyone approaches her and they are pushed into the wall
She's pissed and can't control her bending
She'll apologize to the person she hurt, but she doesn't really mean it. She's still focused on you
You're HERs, so why are they talking to you
Everyone knows you belong to the Avatar, so why even try?
She's thinking of all the ways she could kill them
It kind of makes her feel a little better, but not much
She is slightly insecure though, because what if you do like them better than her? No, you can't... You just can't like them more
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Asami Sato
She'll roll her eyes and glare at them
They've got some balls talking to you, everyone knows you have a girlfriend, so why is that person flirting w/ you ??
She'll come strutting over & flip her hair
"Who's this babe?"
She's smiling, but anyone with eyes can see that's not true
Man if looks could kill
You tell her that they were telling you about some acomplishment they achieved
"Oh, did you tell them how we work with the Avatar and have saved the world?"
She's deadass going to shove her accomplishments in their face
She's so pretty too so she knows that they don't stand a chance
She's already won this fight, so they might as well give up
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Tenzin
Haha? Him? Jealous? No of course not-
Okay, he's extremely jealous, but it doesn't show at all
He has mad stern resting face- No emotions
But inside he's steaming
You probably have a little bit of an age gap, so he's worried you'll leave him for someone your age
[But you've liked Tenzin for a long time, so you weren't letting him go anytime soon]
He's trying to preoccupy his attention
Though, it's not working
He can't get it off his mind
Will definitely start a fight over it later
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Kya
She's confused. Why is someone flirting with you?
She's not insecure, just annoyed
Because who the hell did they think they were? Did they not know you were taken. No, they had to have known
She's pretty easygoing, so she won't act irrationally
Instead, she'll continue doing her thing and allowing you to do your own thing, because you're your own human being
She'll probably bring it up, like... offhandly, so you don't get suspicious
"Hey, who was the person you were talking to? You know, the one who had talked to Tenzin?"
You don't even think about it and are like "Oh! Yeah, they were so annoying. I think they were trying to hit on me."
She laughs it off, but she's not happy
Thankfully, you complain about it, annoyed af
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Lin Beifong
We know how she acts when she's broken up with [Hence her destroying ATI]
Try her and see what happens
She's a cop and she's willing to play dirty and arrest the person or frame them for a crime
She's going to ruin their life
And she doesn't even care if it destroys that person
The only person she cares about is you
She wants to hurt them
And she will stop at no means necessary to make sure it doesn't ever happen again
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Suyin Beifong
She, like her daughter, is passive aggressive
She'll glare and crush whatever is in her hand
She'll fantasize about all the ways she would kill the person flirting with you
She wants for it not to bother her, but it really does
Maybe because there is a part of her that is scared you'll leave her [Like Tenzin did to her sister]
She'll take a deep breath, before smiling, and approaching you
She'll try and join the conversation, but the person who was hitting on you cuts them off and pushes her out of the conversation
She gets pissed
How dare they do that to her
She wants to throw hands with them, but holds herself together
She'll grab your hand, capturing your attention
"Yeah?"
She then tells you she wants to go back home
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Opal Beifong
She feels very strongly about you and doesn't know what to feel when seeing someone flirt with you so openly
She knows it's not your fault, but god does she hate watching it
Though with her outgoing nature, she'd walk up and join the conversation, switching it to what she wants
She's easy going, so she doesn't really exhibit jealousy, because she goes with the flow
Though if you look closely, you can see her eye twitch and her mouth frown ever so lightly
She's quite passive aggressive and can be quite mean with her words
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aures-fantasy-nook · 1 year
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Hobbit/LOTR characters when their s/o is upset with them
yes i'm reusing this trope and i dont care its easy-- also lmk if u want more characters and which onessss :3
requests are open (seriously please give me ideas)
Thorin
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honestly
his reaction is so dependant on when you're upset with him
if its during the journey he will notice right away
he refuses to go to bed angry at each other
he makes time for you guys to talk every night
if its during his dragon sickness bit
yeah
no
he doesn't give a single shit
telling him that you're upset doesn't even do anything except make him mad
like you're wasting his time
AND
not looking for the stone so like
what the fuck are you doing
if we're talking like after the war
everybody lives au ofc
it probably takes him a little while to notice that you're upset if you don't flat out say anything
he's just slightly busy rebuilding a kingdom
honestly when he does notice or when you tell him
he feels bad
he decides it's time for a break
even if it's just for an hour or two
will take you through the halls just to talk through things
or he'll sit and have tea with you
honestly whatever you wanna do he's down
you are his only priority
if only for an hour
Fili
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i would say that he's probably pretty in tune with your emotions
hes a sweet dwarf
will make you tea because he knows your upset
sometimes forgets that hes a little shit
like doesnt realise that things he does can make people upset
let alone you
right over his head
you will have to sit him down and talk with him
he will feel bad immediately
will apologize
offers to make it up to you in any way he can
I feel like if this happens after like the battle and the reclaiming of his future kingdom
he might be a bit busy
but he wants to sit and talk to you every night before bed
even if its just for a few minutes
so when you went to bed without him one night
oh he knows he messed up
theres no way to misinterpret that
will wake you up with kisses and apologies
even if he doesn't know what he is apologizing for
hes just a big sweetie
Kili
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sweet boy
another kind of clueless one
id assume that you probably get upset at him sometime during the journey
while yes he is sweet
he can be kind of neglectful without meaning to be
he feels like he has to prove himself to his uncle because he is different from the other dwarves.
has a lot on his mind
i feel like he deffo neglects your relationship at times bc of it
which is why you pulled back
not pushing for affection as much as you did before
letting him get himself into bad situations
reminding him to eat/sharpen his sword
setting up his bedroll while he goes off to help with camp set up
it takes him a couple days to realize something is off
bc he totally doesnt realize how much you're actually looking out for him
it hits him one night after dinner that his bed roll isnt set up? and its not next to you? and you're already asleep?
wait when did he actually sit down and talk to you last?
doesn't sleep that night, just sits and watches you while thinking back on the past like week
as soon as you wake up he's by your side and asking if you guys could take a walk before the journey starts for that day
you agree
he immediately starts apologizing and explaining himself
i think the best way to deal with it is to like
have a nice sit down and talk it out
maybe not right at that moment but
eventually you guys have a long talk where you both talk about how you're feeling with the relationship and just emotionally and i think that solves a lot
like he lets u know just how insecure he is bc of how different he is
and you can talk about feeling neglected
at the end of it all he promises to put more effort but also wants you to know that you dont HAVE to do all those things for him to notice you/love you
very healthy tbh
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent
#the bin#:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time#im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much.#its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell#anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever.#that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck#probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know#but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything#that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off#she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then#i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos#she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them#to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much#better and not be upset over that all the time#i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record#me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me#i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the#video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental#illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that.#i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her#ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.
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rogueddie · 2 years
Text
Steve needs to be touched.
He's not sure how he didn't notice sooner. Didn't really realize until his skin almost itches with it. Until he notices how he will almost chase any physical affection without thinking. But by then, it already feels too late to really do anything about it.
Luckily, Eddie and Robin are both physically affectionate people. They use any opportunity to invade his personal space, any excuse to throw an arm around his shoulders or nudge his shoulder with their own. They're always in his space so much that, at some point, he starts to expect it from them.
It only makes him more painfully aware of Eddie slowly trying to pull back, to pull away. To put some distance between them.
Steve wonders if it's becoming obvious how needy he's become. He had thought he'd been a little subtle about it- he goes straight to him and Robin whenever he starts to feel that itch, that need for contact, but they all have so much trauma that no one bats an eye. But if Eddie has noticed and thinks its... weird or uncomfortable...
He doesn't say any of this to Robin when he tries to ask her what's wrong though. It's less... asking. He basically just waits for a quiet moment to wonder; "I hope I haven't done anything to upset Eddie. He's been pulling away a lot recently."
"Steve," Robin looks a little guilty. "He's fine. You haven't don't anything. Don't worry about it, ok?"
Don't worry about it? Steve frowns.
"You talk to him? It's... I mean, it's only me then, right? I haven't fucked up too bad, have I?"
Robin grabs his shoulders. "Steve. You didn't fuck anything up. He just needs some space right now. I'm the one who told him to back off a little with you. I think it's something you both need. Ok?"
"You told him to back off?"
"Yeah, and you trust me, right?"
"Of course I do."
She nods, gives him a lopsided grin and heads to the backroom to "actually do my stupid job for once!"
Steve tries not to curl in on himself. Tries not to jump to conclusions, but... why else would she tell Eddie to back off? But that means that she's noticed how weirdly clingy he is too. She must be ok with it though... right? She told Eddie to back off, she hasn't tried to do that herself. If anything, she's been a little more physically affectionate.
So he's been making Eddie uncomfortable. He has fucked it up. Robin is just trying to be nice.
The next time he sees Eddie, it's almost too much. Knowing that he's making Eddie uncomfortable won't leave his mind, making him painfully aware of what he's doing, making sure he also keeps his distance. He won't make Eddie more uncomfortable- he's a great guy, he deserves so much better than that.
But it is too much. So Steve starts to avoid him entirely. It's easier, even though it means he has to avoid group hangouts. Even though he feels lonelier than ever. It's easier than having Eddie right there.
He can tell that the others are starting to worry about him. Even Eddie, apparently, is worried. But he keeps dismissing it all. Brushes them off. Falls back on the excuses and tactics he'd use on Tommy. It's not good, he's too cruel sometimes, but it gets them to back off.
Of course, that doesn't last long.
He wasn't fully awake when he pulled open the door and, as soon as the door opens, Eddie shoves his way inside. He ignores Steves complaints, sitting on the sofas armrest, quickly settling down with his arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow at Steve, who is still hovering in the doorway.
Steve reluctantly closes the door. He doesn't sit down. "What do you want?"
"I was about to ask you the same. What the hell is wrong with you, Steve? Did something happen?"
"I'm fine. No, actually, I'm tired. Maybe you should leave so I can fix that."
Eddie narrows his eyes. "You're lying."
"So?"
"So? Fucking hell, dude, I thought you were better than this! Or was that a phase? Miss being King Steve too much, huh?"
Steve flinches at the nickname. "I'm trying to deal with some shit right now. Being around you guys is only making it harder, so I'm taking some time alone to work through it. I'll be fine, I just need some time."
"Time for what?"
Steve grits his teeth. Even if he were willing to talk about it, explaining that he's trying to forget what it felt like to have Eddies hand on his shoulder is too embarrassing to admit.
"Steve, come on," Eddie tries, stands up and walks closer. "Talk to me. Please, I just want to help."
His hand is so gently on Steves arm. He just wants to curl up in the touch, even as small as it is.
He feels shame boil under his skin when his face scrunches up, hating how visibly close he is to crying. Especially with how soft Eddies voice gets, with how he pulls Steve closer so he can hug him, wrapping him up in his arms. Steve can't help but hug him back, gripping the back of his top tight, shaking.
"It's ok, you're ok, I've got you," Eddie is saying. He tucks his face into Steves shoulder, gently rocking them. "Whatever it is, you don't need to be alone, ok? I'm right here. I'll always be right here."
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Steve finally sobs. He hates how his voice cracks.
"You don't make me uncomfortable. You've never made me feel uncomfortable, I promise. I don't think you could if you tried, sweetheart."
"But Robin- she told you to back off?"
"Yeah, but that- that's nothing to do with you, ok? You didn't do anything wrong. That wasn't your fault."
He waits, but Steve doesn't respond. If anything, he feels more tense.
"Ok, Steve, come on, hey." Eddie gently pushes Steve away, holds him by his shoulders so he has to look at him. "That wasn't your fault."
"So why were you pulling away?"
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Robin didn't want me stressing myself out, worrying all the time."
"Why would I be uncomfortable?"
"Steve. I'm gay."
"Yeah? I do listen when you talk, man, I don't need a reminder."
"No, that-" Eddie snorts, shaking his head. "I'm gay and you're pretty. And nice. And you're always curling up on me like a fucking cat. Did you really not realize?"
"Oh." Steve blinks. He isn't sure what he's feeling, but it definitely isn't negative. "Really? Me?"
"Yeah, Stevie, you. I thought you'd noticed. I stare at your lips a lot. Even the kids noticed. Like I said, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. It's one thing to be ok with a dude being gay, it's another for that dude to be crushing on you. I get it if you don't feel comfortable with any of that shit."
"No, it... it's not making me feel uncomfortable."
"Ok. That's good? Right? How is it making you feel?"
Steve fiddles with the hem of his top, face heating up. "Uh. Nice, I guess? I don't know. But not, like, bad."
"Nice as in... it's nice to feel wanted?" Eddie glances down to his lips- this time, Steve notices.
"No, um... I don't know. I didn't really think you'd ever want to look at me like that. It's nice." Steve shifts, hesitating. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing, but he really wants to admit it... "I, uh... I think I want you to look at me like that."
"Steve, please, you need to elaborate. I don't want to read this wrong. Why do you want me to look at you like that?"
"It's... uh..."
Eddie steps a little closer, gently reaching out to hold his hand. "Steve. Why do you want me to look at you like that?"
"Because that's how I look at you," Steve whispers. The thought is a little shocking, even to him- but it's true. "Oh."
Eddies thumb rubs a little circle on the back of his hand. It's nice, comforting. "Steve, I'm gonna kiss you now. Is that ok?"
"Yeah. Yeah, yes, that's ok, please."
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