#it just sucks how things will get like..12k notes and people thing its a real item or actual art

[lunawlw]

i think tumblr needs more talk about ai "art" here because i see so many reblogs of things that are just ai and not actual art but people dont know :c

[shitfics]

hi, im a fanfic writer who is trying to break into original fiction and publication. i noticed in the notes of one of your short stories that you were trying to write longer chapters. One of my favourite stories by you, One of These Nights is 90,000+ over 11 chapters. what kind of advice would you give to someone like me who struggles to break over 2,500 words per chapter? how can i work to make my chapters longer and still be interesting like yours? thank you x

Oh gosh, thank you so much! I'm hoping to break into original stuff too, and maybe get published, but don't have much hopes for it yet...still slugging away at my wip. ^^; It's sweet that you hold my stuff highly! And I'm sorry this got a bit long…I'm not good at being succinct when trying to talk about writing things, since I still feel so clueless myself. I’ve put most of the rambling behind a read more. 

For me really, writing longer things has just taken time…not in the sense of taking time to write a story (tho obvs it does), but like, each thing I wrote naturally got longer and longer as I got more used to storytelling, I guess? At this point, I think everything I write is almost too long, so I'm wondering what story it was I wanted longer chapters on…lol. It was kinda like lifting weights in a way, lol…I took a long time before I could get to 90k, and you can kinda see how each story got longer and longer (copy and paste was 12k, synchronicity/book of blood were around 20k, da au was 40k in part one/60k in part 2, and the hyung au was 90kish). 

Ofc I have a few breaks from that pattern, but those were kinda 'side projects' for fun that I wanted to keep short, like the esports ontae. Wherever you're at right now in terms of overall story length, I think writing regularly is the most important for building the "endurance" for longer stories and scenes -- and being as patient with yourself as you can about getting there is ideal. It’s a lot like working yourself up to lifting heavier weights, imo.(And full disclaimer though, my confidence/mental health wrt my writing is generally rock bottom, so I know it's not easy lol.)

Once I got into writing longer stories, I've kinda grown to see writing as having two kinda moods: gut-level writing, stuff you HAVE to get down and are dying to write, and the 'fill-in', less exciting parts or parts you really have to discipline yourself to get through.

For writing fic (especially shorter fic), I know I started with just gut-level writing. And for short stuff, that's generally all you need! I really struggled (and still kinda do) when I got to the point where that wasn't enough to fill in a long story, but I've kinda found a way of dealing it.

I don't know if it's a good habit, depending on how you work and how your ideas come about, but for me, I start by writing as much as possible for the scenes I do have fairly established in my head, then create an outline and fill in/revise the rest. It makes it easier for me to feel like I'm working off of inspiration and not just a rigid outline, so I get a good mix of the story/characters 'developing naturally' and 'not going entirely off the rails.' I will say that I think I struggle with endings because of it tho, since the 'gut-level' stuff for me rarely/never touches that part of the story. I usually have to outline to figure out where I want things to end up or what I want to show last.

For the your chapters question -- I'm not sure if by 'chapters' you might mean scene (since a lot of people break things up that way), or if you just mean in terms of other chapter divisions, but I'm gonna try and address both!

Personally, I don't really think in terms of chapters, if that makes sense? That part comes way later when I'm writing. Like right now, I'll be honest and say I don't have set 'chapter' divisions in my head yet for my wip, lol, tho the scenes might be long enough for stand-alone chapters. When I start a story (either with just inspiration or from an outline), it's a matter of scenes, and then after that, I figure out how many scenes I want in a chapter and what would feel "right" in terms of dividing them.

Usually, when I end a chapter it's either because it's an emotional high-point, it feels like a "natural" place to break (due to a jump forward in time for the next scene/resolution to a current conflict), or it's somewhere I need to change the point of view (if I'm writing a story with multiple). Like, for a high-point, I'd think of ending after the scene in hyung au where Jinki comes out, or in the esports thing, where ontae sleep together the first time. For "natural" break places, it's often a matter of time/resolutions, like…jongyu parting ways before jinki starts japanese promotions in hyung au, or in my current wip, them kinda breaking up for a few months after a fight. Pov changes for breaks are pretty self-explanatory and I could go on forever about how I try to pick which pov to use for a scene/chapter, but I think the most important thing is to use those breaks to avoid confusion.

As far as interest goes -- making sure scenes have enough "meat" to them without dragging can be hard, esp if you're trying to setup a plot. Imo, scenes are interesting when there's conflict or emotional high points of some kind (which can be a lot of different things). Once you figure out which of those you want in a scene, I think it gets easier to write around that.  Like, to go back to hyung au, when Jinki came to visit Jong at Blue Night and they hung out after -- I started the scene just knowing I wanted Jinki to surprise him, because I thought that'd be cute.

So in thinking about what purpose the scene might serve to move things forward…I knew mood-wise I wanted to capture some more of the uncertainty of how to act around each other, now that they're both know the other is gay, have Jinki be torn between making a move/confessing and his fear of changing things for the worse, set them up for some messy revelation of feelings in the next scene, and ofc have them both be horny because how else are you gonna feel being around your crush for the first time in a month.

Once that was kinda setup in my head, it was easier to fill in what the characters say/how they act. Jinki flirts with Jong on air, because that's 'safe' (it can't go anywhere since they're in a studio and it'd be easy to dismiss as not serious since he's in Onew-mode), Jong is defs very

And as another note…. I just think some parts are always going to be difficult to write, because we all have different strengths when it comes to writing. Like, I hate writing setting descriptions, so I don't do it much and generally provide a bare-minimum for scene context -- but when I need more for the purpose of mood or plot or whatever, it feels like pulling teeth. Since it's such a miserable process for me, and that's so long, I assume that means it sucks or it's a real slog for whoever's reading it, but…they don't always correlate.

Not every part of a project is gonna be fun -- which sucks! -- but it's also why it's important to take mental breaks and imo, step away from your story at milestones. It's not great to make yourself miserable for writing, (I say while I doing just that most of the time), but I think going in with the knowledge that it IS going to be hard sometimes can help. The more stories you write, the more you'll be able to hone your instinct for like...if you're struggling because there's something wrong with the plot/scene/prose or if it's just because writing be like that sometimes.

Oof, this got too long, and I don’t even know how much of it is useful, but I hope it might help a bit? Thank you again for the compliment and best of luck with your writing!!

[sakuurae]

I need advice. So I've always been congratulated about the way I write and a couple months ago I wrote a drama for college and the teacher said it was so good and that it was the best drama a student had written; he even asked me for copies to keep to himself I felt really proud cause I really gave my best and I honestly love the story I wrote. So yes I've always liked writing even tho I tend to be lazy about it. Yesterday I was extra soft for sicheng after reading a fluff one shot +

+ and I started having ideas for a fix so I wrote some notes down so I wouldn't forget those ideas but I wasn't sure if I should write something. Today I decided to give it a try and I mean I like what I've written so far but I tend to extend a lot the content when I'm writing. So since I know what's gonna be the outcome I feel like the story's interesting even if it's developing slowly but I'm afraid other's might not like it? Since I tend to write a lot I think I'll do it as a real fic +

+or just a big ass story because im terrible at making chapter ends so idk im just really nervous?? Also even tho influent in english, it's not my native language so reading other peoples stuff like yours makes me feel like Im lacking and it got me nervous. So idk do you have any advice for me? Id appreciate anything since it's my first time writing for this kind of audience. Im still not sure if I'll ever publish it, I need to make sure some ppl read it when I finish to see if they like it. -r.

Aaaahh, i see i see. Honestly, this will probably be one of those ‘easier-to-say’ type of things. But i believe that as long as you, as the writer, are content with your work then thats all that should really matter.

In further elaboration, you say you like what you have written to far and i find that the most important :) of course, there is also the factor of you and the audience—but the audience should forever be a bonus or an extra component. You shouldnt let external elements like those have an effect on your writing because then you would no longer be writing for yourself anymore, in a sense. Youd hold yourself back due to the thoughts of others restricting the vault of what youd want to write, entirely the way you ache to. Id say to go at your own pace, write however long and much youd like, and even develop your story slowly if thats what you want to do. After all, it is your fic, your writing, and your time that you are dedicating to it. It should be written in ways that you enjoy; otherwise, you wouldnt be entirely content with the finished product!

Ill toss everything else under the cut because this is quite a long response :)

Your writing is yours and you should work in whatever ways youd like. I think that if everyone took into account the audience and had a fear that ones writing would not be enjoyed for certain reasons, which would restrict the creativity drive, then everyone would be writing the same way—and it would be difficult to be unique. Of course, everyone has their own personal preferences as well—some like long fics and others dont, but thats okay at the end of the day.

Speaking on my part, i was hesitant and nervous to upload a fic that was 6k, then 12k, 14k, and soon 20k—and it was because i used to keep the audience in mind a lot. But after brushing it to the side and writing stories the way and pace i like is more fulfilling, and the writing feels more like me.

Fighting the nervous feeling is difficult at times, but i assure you that once you take your first step youll be on your way :) and first steps are always the hardest, as many say! Look at how much work you already committed: you were congratulated for your writing in college, took notes for ideas, and became content with the work you have so far. All you have to do is keep on going—for yourself.

For english not being your native language, its very good! Ehehehe. You shouldnt feel nervous from reading others works; we all took our own steps and walked our own paths to get to where we are/develop the style we write in. For me, i used to suck at english and writing (i even had the lowest lexicon in my class before, and it was embarrassing to the core for me! [so i worked hard]). My “large vocabulary” and “flow of words” that contribute to my style, and other factors that people message me about, did not come to me from no where, and in a short amount of time. I tutored people in creative writing, read a ton of books and took notes myself, perused a lot of word lists (and i still do to this day)—so it really does not come from no where.Feeling small due to others creations is the worst feeling, but there are endless ways to overcome it.

In regards to getting your work out there and making sure people read it, all i can really say is to tag your creations properly and play the waiting game!

Remember, everything takes time :)

[tachibana-tenshi]

My 4 AM sleepless night rant

The topic: People

Just people in general.

I don't hate people, but I really don't like them. Coming from someone with aspergers, a more common sight these day, people are a nightmare. I'm terrible with people, I'm terrible with talking, I'm terrible with talking to people, and worst of all is arguing with people, which is a living hell. I've unfortunately been cursed to primarily have jobs that deal with customer interaction. Even when I specifically apply for jobs that involve data entry and dealing with paperwork, I still end up having to be the csr (customer service representative).

I'm so worn out having to deal with idiots, people with anger issues, victim mentalities, elitism, those who think they are entitled to anything and everything, hypocrites, liars, scammers, the list goes on, and yes, I have had to deal with all of these kinds of people in the past; some in my job, and some in my personal life.

People have brought me nothing but pain. As a kid, all of the people I called friend eventually moved away after 1-4 years with them due to living in a military area. Now that's not their fault, they can't help it that they have to get relocated several times, but for me, being the kid whose friends all moved away and never saw again, it's heartbreaking. I never had any real long lasting friends going through school, and was always jealous of those who did, wondering what it's actually like to have someone you could just call up and hang out for the day or weekend. I really wish I had that experience.

School wasn't any better either. Because of zone relocations, I had my elementary school years split into two different schools. I liked my first school, but I hated the second. My only memory of that school was being bullied by the other kids because I played by myself with toys and props instead of with other kids. More specifically, I remember during recess, I would take a jump rope, tie it around this giant rubber fish (I don't know why we had it, but we did) and I would drag it around the lot, sit down and talk to it and feed and pet it as if it was my own pet. Then some kids came up and laughed at me, pointing and exclaiming how I was so weird for doing that. I never did it again.

Middle school was weird but also very depressing. After my failures with public elementary school, my parents decided to try out private schools, which were separated into primary and secondary campuses or school days. I never really attended proper middle or high schools from this point onwards, just primary and secondary school separated at 7th and 8th grade. 6th and 7th I went to this one private school, but I was still bullied by kids most every day. My mother told me that it was almost an everyday occurrence for her to have to pick me up from school early and take me home because I was stuck in the principal's office crying over the things that happened to me today. I really did not enjoy going there.

From 8th grade onwards though, I attended a different private school where for the first time in my life, I was accepted. The kids didn't bully or harass me, and I actually became the most popular kid in school during 8th grade (I even had a day named after me, no joke). Once 9th grade came around, I had lost my popularity and became more of that sweet kid that nobody disliked, which was fine by me. I never really enjoyed being popular.

While high school was great and all, it was also when people were starting to get interested in each other, and boy has then been quite a ride. To keep things short, over my 5 years I spent at that school, I had gotten rejected 10 times, primarily friendzoned, but sometimes they just left. Like literally, they said nothing to me after a certain point and literally left the area and I never heard from them again.

My first experience with a "girlfriend" was actually rather depressing. I got approached out of the blue by a girl who asked if she could be my girlfriend. I was taken aback at first, but I said sure. She was cute, why not? I'll spend the time to get to know her, find out what she likes, be sweet to her. Her friends even told me to say or certain things to make her happy, which I did, but I didn't get the response I was expecting. She hated it when I did anything with her, sat next to her, called her by the nickname her friends advised me to use. I thought it was odd. I found out through a third party that she never liked me in the first place. She was dared to ask me out, and she did. I was rather heartbroken; I felt played with and treated like a toy.

From there, I tried to pursue other girls only to get rejection after rejection after rejection from every single girl. Naturally, I gave up. I must not be attractive. I'm probably a huge loser. I don't have any friends, why should I even think I could get a girlfriend? I didn't bother even trying to get close with anyone until a few years later at college, but it was essentially the same thing with being ignored, avoided, and rejected.

So far, people suck. We can also throw in my poor relationships with my father, brothers, and grandfather too. I hated men, I didn't want anything to do with women, and I didn't trust anyone. As bad as that was, it was nothing compared to the workplace.

Nothing really tells you how much you suck like losing your job, or rather, all your jobs. All the jobs I had I either quit because of customers harassing me, got let go because it was a temp job, had to leave because of school relocation, and terminated because I couldn't perform as well as they wanted me to and made too many mistakes. The school relocation was me moving away to college to get that "real college experience". Halfway through the year, I return home after the semester to a wonderful surprise: my parents are getting a divorce! Wew!

After that heartbreak, I go back to college for the second semester, stupidly fall for girls again, and once again get depressed over another crushing failure. My grades start dropping, and I eventually stopped attending classes and wouldn't get out of bed or even eat food for most of the day. I flunked every single class. I'm not even allowed to return to that college either until I prove I can get good grades again. I also got 12k in debt from tuition. Including my on and off community college class failures while working, I spent roughly 3 years in college, learned nothing of value, and got 12k in debt, right in time for me to not have any job after returning home. Wonderful.

I get to return home to my dad now living in a different house, and my mother crying a lot about it. Out of my siblings, one of them has already moved out and doesn't talk. One of them is a narcissistic prick, one of them is just difficult, and one is problematic, but a sweetheart. I don't get along very well with any of them except the youngest, who is really my only sibling who tells me they love me. Being the oldest and the most level headed kid in the house, I get to be the one to hear everyone's pains and problems, but to be honest, it feels like it's because I'm the only one who will actually listen. My siblings basically only live for themselves.

The most heartbreaking thing I had to witness was the last time I went to my father's house with my mother. It was around Christmas, and our biannual vacation got cancelled because if all the drama, so we were at home still. We went to my father's house, and that's when he gave my mother the divorce papers.

It was gut wrenching. Its night, and all my siblings (bar the one who moved away) are in the car, ready to go home. I'm in the passenger seat, and we're all waiting for our mother to come outside and drive home. It's been about 10 minutes, and I knew that shit was going down inside. I knew that mother wasn't going to come out there smiling and happy, so I slid into the driver's seat, knowing I was going to have to drive this time. I wanted to be wrong, I wanted it to all be a lie, but my mother comes out, gets in the passenger's seat, and says absolutely nothing. My siblings, who are typically very chatty, and I could just feel the depression when she got in, and we all knew what happened inside dad's house. I spent the next 10-15 minutes driving home, everyone dead silent, my mother trying her best not to cry. I turned on the radio because it was too much to bear.

And now I'm here, stuck losing all my jobs, never having money to go or do anything outside of paying my stupid debts and bills, no friends, a broken family, no real relationship with most of my siblings, and no defined goal or future. My parents don't like the things I like or make me happy, every time my mother enters the same room as me, I'm scared she is going to get mad at me, I wake up every morning with dread, expecting some kind of note telling me something I did wrong or didn't do correctly, and the only time my family ever wants to talk to me is when they want me to drive somewhere to pick up or drop off or take someone somewhere.

I spend almost every waking moment either in a game or on YouTube because I don't want anything to do with real life. Truth be told, I actually get nervous twitches, panic attacks, and have even completely broken down screaming and crying while curled up on the floor from just thinking about living here in this world, all the shit that I have to deal with, and all the debts, failures, and expectations that have been set on me.

I cut off all my emotions and my ability to speak when I get overwhelmed like this, and the only way I've ever really been able to open my heart and mind is when I can put pen to paper, whether it be physically or digitally. This is my cry for help. I don't expect anyone to listen. I don't expect anyone to help. But I don't want to go unheard and forgotten...