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sturnioloskyline · 1 year ago

Text

smoke sesh

pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader

warnings: use of marijuana, awkwardness, making out, not proofread

summary: you decide it’s finally time to smoke weed. you’re inexperienced, but maybe your dealer, chris, can guide you through it.

a nervous pit began to form in y/n's stomach as she paced around her bedroom. for the first time in a while, she was expecting a guest.

y/n's personal life was rough at the moment. she just moved out of her parents' house to live on her own, she was struggling to find what she wanted to do with her life, and, on top of it all, her love life was going terribly.

she tried it all — dating apps, clubs, frat parties, coffee shops — y/n couldn't seem to find love anywhere. her friends even tried to set her up, but all of her dates ended the same: y/n either had no interest in the men she was set up with or got horribly mistreated by them. all that y/n had been dreaming of recently was a hot guy who also happened to not be an asshole, but that seemed to be a rarity these days.

overall, y/n had been down in the dumps and was in desperate need of a pick-me-up. that was when she remembered her best friend recommending a soothing solution.

...

"seriously, it just makes you feel... better," y/f/n explained, sitting next to y/n on her bed.

"i don't know. it just makes me nervous, i guess, losing control." y/n said to her friend. "like i want to be in full control of my brain and my body at all times."

"you are in control. you're just less scared," y/f/n smiled at y/n. "y'know, i think you would really benefit from smoking weed."

y/n scoffed. she was an adult now, and she had never tried any substances before. she wasn't against recreational drugs, she just never had the urge to partake in them. "yeah right. as if you'd catch me casually with a blunt in hand."

y/f/n giggled at the image of her friend smoking. "yeah. but you would be a lot less stressed. if you ever change your mind, i have a dealer, just saying…"

y/n rolled her eyes. "yeah. I'll keep you posted."

...

and now here y/n was, in the middle of the night, chewing on her fingernails as she waited for a response from the man whose snapchat she'd gotten from her friend the other day.

y/n's phone pinged and she immediately brought the screen to her face to read the notification.

chris sturniolo

yeah i can be there soon

y/n's heart raced in anticipation. surprisingly, she was more excited than nervous. she'd been so tense, she was looking forward to anything that could take the edge off. y/n hearted the message and made her way to the kitchen so she could wait closer to the door.

y/n didn't really know what to expect for the interaction she was about to have. she assumed that it would just be like any other transaction: he'd show her the options, she'd pay him, and that would be that.

but as she waited, y/n grew more nervous about the purchase. she quickly pulled out her phone to google "what happens when you buy weed from a guy on snapchat", before she caught a glimpse of a certain notification.

chris sturniolo sent you a snap

y/n curiously clicked the notification, opening to a picture of chris in the driver's seat of his car, taken from his lap. he face hung over the camera but his blue eyes were focused on the road in front of him. his soft brown hair stuck out slightly under the grey beanie he was wearing, and a silver chain dangled from his neck.

y/n was left in awe. she didn't really know what she expected him to look like, but it was definitely not that. this guy looked good, the kind of look that made y/n's cheeks heat up from just one picture. y/n was only more anxious about the whole situation now that she knew a really cute guy was involved. before she even had time to process the whole thing, another notification pops up at the top of her screen.

chris sturniolo is typing...

y/n hesitated for a second before opening her chats with chris. he had only sent one word.

chris sturniolo

here

y/n silently cursed herself for her impulsiveness in inviting chris over. she was way too eager, and now everything was becoming way too real. soon enough y/n could hear footsteps outside her door, and three rapid knocks echoed in her ears. she apprehensively made her way to the door, opening it to reveal chris standing there with a backpack slung over one shoulder.

"hey."

"hi," y/n replied awkwardly, cracking her door farther open. chris took this as an invitation to step inside, and he walked in and glanced around the area.

"nice place." chris mumbled, making his way over to y/n's kitchen without any instruction. y/n just watched him as she locked her front door, unsure of what to do. chris took off his backpack and set it on the counter, beginning to take out various plastic baggies and laying them out.

"so... how does this work?" y/n asked, slowly approaching chris in the kitchen as she watched him move.

"um, what do you mean?" chris's eyebrows furrowed, but he kept his attention on the task at hand. y/n remained silent, unsure of how to answer. chris stopped and looked up at her. "have you ever bought weed before?"

"no..." y/n replied meekly, slightly embarrassed. chris chuckled and shook his head.

"well... do you know what you want?" chris asked. he tilted his head at y/n as she approached the counter, letting her take a look at the different strains, labeled by sharpie on the baggies.

“what’s the best one, for um, beginners?” y/n squeaked out, nervous under chris’s gaze.

chris walked up behind y/n, and placed his hands on the counter on either side of her waist. y/n breath hitched in her throat as she felt chris's abdomen press lightly against her back. he looked over y/n's shoulder at the bags on the counter sighing.

"i mean, personally, i don't think the strain matters," chris explained casually picking up a bag and examining the bud inside. "but i guess since you haven't tried anything before, you could try a hybrid first."

y/n nodded absentmindedly, not really focusing on what chris was saying. she was more focused on how his bicep slightly flexed as he flipped the bag of weed around in his hand, and the faint smell of cologne that wafted past her nose as she moved. her eyes drifted to his fingers, fiddling with the bag's seal. chris noticed, a small smile forming on his face.

"wanna try it right now?" chris asked, snapping y/n out of her trance.

"what? oh! um, yeah," y/n mumbled, stepping away from chris to face him. "uh, how much?"

chris chuckled and shook his head. "it's okay. on the house."

"oh no, you don't have to-"

"it's your first time, enjoy it." chris interrupted, setting the bag down on the counter and reaching into his bag for supplies.

y/n watched silently, butterflies swarming in her stomach. she had never felt this way about a guy before, let alone a guy she had just met who also happened to be dealing her drugs. it was something about the way chris's black tank top hugged his torso and the way his jeans hung low around his hips, revealing the waistline of his boxers. chris had undeniable sexual appeal, and y/n just couldn't help herself from feeling flustered around him.

chris pulled a grinder, rolling papers, filters and an ashtray out of his backpack. y/n finally ripped her eyes away from chris to focus on what he was doing. he took a bit of the weed and ground it down, turning his head quickly to glance back at y/n. he caught her watching him and flashed her a grin before focusing again. y/n blushed profusely.

a few minutes of comfortable silence passed as chris tightly rolled two joints, gliding his tongue along the wrapping paper to seal them. y/n was mesmerized, both by the meticulous process and the fact that chris was the one doing it. chris set down the joints and backed up from the counter.

"have you ever smoked anything before?" chris asked curiously, watching y/n's face. he could sense that she was nervous, from the way she was fidgeting to the way her voice was barely audible with every response she gave. y/n bit her cheek as she looked into chris's eyes, shaking her nead slowly. "do you want me to.. smoke with you?"

"would you?" y/n seemed to have a weight lifted off of her shoulders as soon as chris asked. the reaction made chris smile.

"yeah, of course," chris chuckled, sticking his hand in his jeans pocket and fishing out an orange lighter. "you're gonna want a water bottle or something."

y/n nodded, walking around to the fridge, grabbing two water bottles. she walked back over to chris's side, handing him a water bottle. chris flipped it in his hand effortlessly, thanking her soflty and picking up the ashtray, joints, and lighter in his other hand.

"is there a window we could sit by? don't wanna leave your place smelling too bad." chris looked around for a place to sit.

"yeah, here," y/n replied, turning around and leading chris to her living room. where she sat on a small couch just below a window. chris sat down next to her leaning over to the wall and helping her push the window open. they sat back down on the couch and faced each other as chris set down an ashtray on the coffee table in front of them. y/n took a deep breath as chris took a joint in his left hand, holding it between his thumb and pointer as he held his lighter in his other hand.

"okay. so," chris began explaining, looking at y/n's face as he did. y/n's eyes flicked up to meet his, and the two maintained eye contact as chris talked through the process. "i'll take puff first, i guess, to show you how."

y/n nodded, watching as chris brought the joint in front of his face and light it, bringing it down the tray and tapping it before bringing it between his pink lips. his cheeks hollowed as he took a long inhale. he took the joint out fo his mouth and passed it to y/n, who shakily took it in between her fingertips. chris's eyebrows furrowed from the slight sting of the smoke he was holding in his lung, watching y/n's hands to make sure that the joint stayed lit. he tilted his head to the window to release the smoke from his mouth, blowing it out into the night air. y/n watched the whole thing, only growing more anxious.

"so you just wanna inhale with it in your mouth, lightly," chris spoke, nodding to give y/n the go-ahead. y/n brought the joint up to her lips, her hand trembling. she stuck the joint in her mouth and tightly wrapped her lips around it.

"like this?" y/n mumbled around the joint. chris chuckled and brought his own hand to y/n's wrist.

"here, relax," chris moved y/n's hand away from her face a bit. "open your mouth more. just rest it there, gentle."

chris's voice was quiet as he readjusted y/n's form. she watched him as his face leaned in closer to her own. "better. now inhale."

y/n inhaled softly, feeling the smoke travel through her body, her throat scratching a bit.

"once it kinda burns, stop and hold it in your lungs." y/n brought the joint down, handing it to chris and holding her breath. her face scrunched up as she felt a burning sensation in her chest begin to grow. out of reflex, she quickly turned to the window and coughed out smoke. chris's hand flew out to her back for support. "woah! you okay?"

"yeah, just—" y/n cut herself off by coughing. chris kept his hand on the small of y/n back as she coughed. he set the joint down in the tray and reached over to grab a water bottle from the table, unscrewing it and bringing it up to y/n's lips, she reached out and took the bottle, taking a sip to sooth the fire in her lungs.

"it's okay, deep breaths, you'll be okay." chris murmured affirmations as y/n worked through her cough attack. eventually, y/n calmed down and brought her hand up to wipe the few tears that pricked at the corner of her eyes.

"i'm sorry, i think i inhaled too long," y/n chuckled awkwardly, embarrassed at herself for coughing like that in front of chris. it was then that y/n became hyperaware of chris's hand on her back, causing her to blush.

"it's okay, it happens to everyone," chris grinned at y/n, finding her shyness endearing. "we'll take it slow. you feelin' anything yet?"

"nope," y/n smiled awkwardly, watching as chris effortlessly took another hit. chris handed the joint back to her, and she took a short puff, blowing the smoke out the window with a few coughs.

"better!" chris grinned, causing y/n to giggle.

"thanks," y/n mumbled, taking another sip of water. chris tapped the joint against the ashtray and bringing it to his mouth. "so, when did you start smoking?"

chris chuckled at the icebreaker, smoke spewing out of his mouth. the two of them fell into small talk as they shared the joint, growing more and more comfortable with each other as they lazily passed the weed back and forth. suddenly y/n felt a wave wash over her, and her sensed heightened. her body stiffened, and chris noticed, his eyes flicking over her face.

"you okay?" chris asked for a second time, lightly reaching out and grazing his fingertips against y/n's arm.

"yeah..." y/n spoke lowly, her eyes landing on chris's. something about chris seemed different now. his features were more prominent and detailed, and she was definetly even more drawn to him. without thinking, she reached out and touched chris's silver chain, fiddling with it in her fingers, the sensation feeling unique. "chris?"

"yeah?" chris's voice was just above a whisper, his eyes not leaving y/n's face. something about the way her delicate hands pulled at his necklace made his breath hitch. he found himself craving her touch, but pushed the thought away, blaming it on the marijuana in his system.

"i think it's hitting me." y/n looked back up at chris, her eyes flicking between his. chris swallowed.

"how's it feel?"

"feels like... i'm in a dream," y/n spoke absentmindedly, not breaking eye contact with chris. chris smiled and nodded at her explanation. y/n couldn't help but smile back. "you're really sweet, chris."

"is that suprising?" chris asked, a heat slowly rising to his cheek at the compliment.

"yeah, kinda," y/n whispered. chris's eyes flicked to y/n's lips as she spoke, and before he could stop himself, chris was asking y/n a question.

"can i kiss you?"

y/n's jaw fell slightly open at the question, completely taken off guard. chris's own eyes widened, and he quickly pulled himself away from y/n, his face quickly reddening. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that out loud, i mean, i want to, i mean—!"

with a sudden boost of confidence, y/n leaned closer to chris and looked up at chris through her eyelashes, leaving chris too flustered to keep defending himself. "please kiss me."

chris needed no further encouragement, his hands finding y/n's face and pulling her up to meet him. his eyes quickly flicked to y/n's before he leaned in and pressed his lips to y/n's. his lips were surprisingly soft, moving slowly against y/n's. chris's tongue slipped past his lips, and y/n opened her mouth, allowing him in. y/n's hands moved to chris's neck, one of her hands travelling under his beanie to grip at his hair.

chris kept one of his hands on y/n's cheek, letting the other one fall down to hold her waist. he spread his legs apart, pulling y/n towards him. y/n broke the kiss to yelp in surprise, sending the both of them into a giggling fit. warmth spread throughout y/n's body as she watched the way chris's eyes crinkled as he laughed, flashing his teeth. the image only made her smile more. y/n leaned into chris, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. chris wrapped his arms around y/n's frame without a second thought.

it was all too natural, the way chris leaned back into the couch with y/n in his arms, holding her softly. y/n hummed in content, her eyelids suddenly struggling to stay open as chris sighed underneath her.

"thanks chris," y/n mumbled lazily, letting her eyelids flutter shut as she sunk deeper into the warmth of his body.

chris hummed back, peering at the girl on his chest. he was shocked he had ended up in this position, but lord, he was not complaining. chris smiled to himself before letting his own red eyes fall shut. the drugs in chris and y/n's systems lulled them both to sleep, and they stayed like that for the rest of the night.

...

author's note: wow that felt LONG. i need to smoke after that one. let me know if u want a (potentially smutty)part 2. 😚 love u bye!

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #fanfic #sturniolo fanfic #x reader #au #help

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h-eefic · 8 months ago

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Would you possibly give us the cliffnotes for what the plan was for the rest of this fic? I've been following early on (like 2015??), it really truly has an important space in my heart. I even have it saved offline in case there was ever a time where it would be removed!! Even if it will never be finished, I still like to re-read it, maladaptive daydream about it, etc. I'd love to know where it would have gone in the end!! Or if you would release any drafts or whatever have you!!

I will write down what I remember! I think I've lost any outlines we had but:

Yes, Alistair was the shitty neighbor the entire time. It was so silly, we were obsessed with it.

After Liv leaves his hospital room, she spends days locked in her house, triggered bc of her parents and just generally shut down.

When she opens her door and sees Alistair standing there, she basically blue screens because he's a) real b) extremely good-looking and c) he's her what? I don't remember much about what comes next but I know they spend a few hours hashing things out, talking, putting together all the context of their friendship (discussing everyone they have in common, lmao).

Liv goes back to running away from her problems, tells him she's had all of her fears about being with him confirmed for her.

Ultimately, he talks her into giving him a chance to at least take her on a date. She walks him to her front door and he asks if he can kiss her. They do, and he's very convincing. :)

They spend a few days(?) flirting through windows at each other. For their date, he sets up a scavenger hunt for her to find the location for the date? And it was going to be so cute, he has her go to Andrastea to find a clue to the next location, which is Druffy's, and so on and so forth, he leaves clues at the places he's recommended to her. The final date I think was going to be at the beach. Liv ultimately realizes that she'd rather be with him and risk losing him than be alone and dreaming of police lights forever. It gets steamy. :)

After that, I mostly remember the two of them doing a tour around to all their friends and giving the update that they're a thing. Happy endings abound!

There was going to be an epilogue where they go on a road trip with Cullen and Lua, and we planned to commission different artists to make polaroids of them having a good time. Thedas Space Program 4 lyfe.

We really were at the finish line, and I'm so sad we didn't get to tell the rest of it. I have some small things like playlists, previously unposted sketches, and snippets that I'll leave in this Google Doc if you still want more. Emrys may have files I don't, so I welcome her to share them if she wants to.

I also welcome anyone who wants to play in the space to go buck wild, and if you do I would love to see them if you message me @bucket-fucker. I'm replaying Liv's canon as we speak, and I hope to write her again, I still had much more to say!

Thank you all for showing interest in my lil OC. And thank you for still caring. It's been a blast, and I appreciate you all.

-A.

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douglysium · 10 months ago

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Episode 12 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 11 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 12 “Getting Off”

I think this episode is definitely one of the more straightforward Protocol episodes we have gotten so far, so hopefully this Quick Thoughts won’t br too long (but knowing me I probably just jinxed it).

We take in the scene through a CCTV in the breakroom of the OIAR at night. The transcripts clarify that Celia is very tired and searching through the cupboards for something and it is quickly made apparent that she is looking for tea and, since the break room has run out, Sam gives Celia a teabag from a secret stash that he apparently has. Sam then asks Celia out on a date and while she is busy at the moment she does show that she is willing to go out with Sam on “Saturday, 6? under the clock at Leicester Square. That work? We’ll go for dinner- well, breakfast- you know what I mean.” Once again, we see that the OIAR jobs appear to be very exhausting and have odd work hours. I also wonder what Celia’s end goal is. Does she genuinely like Sam or does she see him as means to an end. Is Celia here to help Sam and co or is she here to harm them?

As Celia leaves, Alice walks in and proceeds to make fun of Sam for clearly being extremely nervous as he asked out Celia. Alice says “(normal again) You know it’s rude to have absolutely no game? Christ, all these years and you still ask people out like a baby foal learning to tapdance.” A reference to the fact that she and Sam dated at some point, and how Sam probably acted very similarly when trying to ask her out. Sam does point out “Look it worked didn’t it?” which seems like it could be a sort of double meaning. Sam’s nervous approach got Celia to agree to a date but also Alice presumably agreed to go out with him in the past too.

Sam apologizes to Alice for dragging her to the ruins of the Institute only to fund nothing… well nothing Sam and Alice know about since something escaped the Institute. Sam says he’s done with Magnus stuff and Alice responds with “So you’re telling me that if I had a case full of emails with the title “Magnus Institute re: Samama Khalid – Massive Conspiracy” you wouldn’t be tempted?” to which Sam says no before asking “You don’t, though. Do you? That was just, like, a joke. Right?” Alice then says “Come on, for now let’s just focus on getting you as jaded and apathetic as possible.” Considering that Alice does appear to be pretty jaded about listening to the cases and piecing them together this could be related to her point about ignoring the talkers and not getting caught up in thinking too much about what’s happening.

NORRIS starts expositing the next case

“Claim Review: EL-56920

Policy Holder: Soho Jack’s Ltd.

Policy Number: 548651-656

Policy Type: Employers’ Liability

Site Address: Soho Jack’s, 9 Carlisle St, London W1D 3BK

Affected Employee: Ms. Jordan Bennett

Date of Incident: 9 March 2024

Incident Location: On site.

Documentation: Crime Report – Submitted

Medical Practitioner Report – Submitted

Incident Book Entry – Submitted First Aider’s Report – Submitted

Supervisor’s incident Report - Submitted

HSE communications - Submitted

Health-And-Safety policies - Submitted

Employment Contract - Submitted

Claim Valuation: £1,560,000 Assessment

Conclusion: Claim Denied Reason: Fraudulent claim (see incident description and police report)”

This, along with some information Jordan mentions later, means Jordan is suing Soho Jack’s Ltd. They go on to say that their lawyer has advised them to cooperate with Soho Jack’s insurance claim as a show of good faith, even if they’re planning on “suing your asses to kingdom-come.” They start recounting an event that occurred on the company’s property and apologize for their terrible handwriting (which we later learn is probably because Mr. Bonzo bit off one of their hands).

They go over how they started working at Jack’s in the spring of 2021 after they had finished Flair Academy. After struggling to find a job they managed to get an interview and then job at the aforementioned Jack’s. The club seems to have a good reputation as Jordan refers to it as “the Soho Gentleman’s club.” The company’s building “...has dances on the bottom two floors with VIP suites for hire above with a dedicated bouncer keeping them separate. Really, it’s just a quieter box with a private bar, some comfy chairs and the option of private dancers.” Despite this being “THE” Soho Gentleman’s club Jordan says “It’s always booked up with swank dickheads trying to show off, but Stags are the worst: they’re cheap, they’re loud, they drink too much, tip too little and only ever hire one dance for the groom. Plus there’s always some “nice guy” that won’t shut up about exploitation without even bothering to stop staring.”

Jordan begins to explain how the party the specific party that led to them wanting to sue Jack’s. They state that this specific party’s lot was not the worst and were “Just a bunch of heavyset, middle-aged lads with names like Ozzer, or Rozzer or whatever. ” and notes that “The groom was fine, acted embarrassed even though he was obviously keen and they were easily pleased. ”

“They started giving the groom gifts. Same old tat as always, cufflinks, poo gags, all the standard stuff. Then the groom spotted the last one on the table, this cheap yellow and purple kids lunch box. It looked old and shoddy and no one admitted to bringing it but the groom just squealed with glee and carefully opened it before pulling out a bunch old souvenir merch. Pencils, postcards, keyrings, all sorts of crap, all the same yellow and purple and last of all a cracked CD case. When they saw it the whole bunch gave this big laughing cheer.” I have talked about how I think Mr. Bonzo is probably tied to The Stranger if we view him through the lens of Smirke’s 14. I will retread some of those reasons later but right now I want to point out that no one admitted to bringing the Bonzo CD. It could simply be that it’s a prank and someone happened to grab an artifact or something tied to Bonzo, and maybe someone from the OIAR even planted it there, but it could also be connected to the idea of The Stranger and the fear of the unknown because it could be that no one actually knows who got that CD.

We also know that The Stranger is no… stranger to dropping off or delivering strange artifacts in order to feed on the fear of people interacting with unknown /mysterious objects. Breekon and Hope’s delivery service are a good example of this (strangers that show up and drop off never before seen or uncanny objects and artifacts).

“I could see which way the wind was turning and sure enough the bestman came over and asked if he could play it. The cover had this awful comic sans title: “Mr. Bonzo’s On His Way” and I wasn't exactly thrilled by this.” Jordan explains that “Mr. Bonzo was way before my time and from what I had seen online he had always looked pretty messed up. But hey, it was their night, if they wanted to spend it on some cringy nostalgia trip, who was I to say no?” Which could mean that Jordan doesn’t know a lot about Mr. Bonzo, and lack of familiarity with something is one of the things that we know entities like The Stranger love to prey on.

“This kind of thing happened often enough that we kept a battered old CD Player in the back that we could patch into the room's speakers, just in case. So, I ducked back there, put it on, turned the volume down as low as I could get away with, and prayed it wasn’t too obnoxious. Immediately the cheering children’s voices blared out the speakers accompanied by bouncy tubas loud enough to drown out the rest of the club’s music. It was awful but I could hear the lads stamping the floor in rhythm and as the kids started singing the men were singing along: “Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play! Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play!” If you want to listen to the song Jordan is referring to it is actually available on Youtube: Mr Bonzo (from 'The Magnus Protocol'). Maybe you can put yourself in the shoes of an annoyed Jordan or ecstatic old man at the club.

Jordan clearly finds the song annoying and after waiting a minute, in order to avoid being a “total killjoy,” they decide to turn off the song before “ Derek came down from the office to “have a word.” I assume Jordan meant Derek would complain about the music. However, when Jordan turns the CD player off it “...just grew louder, rattling the glassware in the bar: “Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play!” I even yanked the cables from the speakers, but it just kept getting louder.” Obviously, something supernatural is going on but Jordan reasonably assumes that the player just broke and begins to reach for their walkie talkie in order to call for some tech support. However, as they do so they are interrupted by a massive crash coming from another part of the room followed by a cheer. Jordan gets ready to reprimand the party goers for whatever mess they might have made but instead sees Mr. Bonzo. “It was hunched in the doorway, a bulbous figure with a purple hat that cast crazed shadows in all directions thanks to the club’s lighting effects. Then it doffed its hat and pushed itself into the room, foam catching on the doorframe with a squeak that set my teeth on edge. Its massive bulbous google-eyes seemed to roam all over the room before settling on the groom and it was almost as if the huge toothy grin grew wider when it saw him.” We know that Gwen delivered a name and address to Bonzo and in the previous episode Lena even tells Gwen “I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.” Implying that this could be the case Lena was alluding to or that the groom (or someone else in the room) is Bonzo’s target (but it’s almost definitely the groom).

Everyone in the room assumes the appearance of Bonzo is some sort of gift or prank and “The rugby boys were tripping over themselves to get in and hug it, laughing and pushing the groom to the front and so I figured at that point it was a prank. Again, none of them took credit for it and there was a moment of genuine hesitation, until one of them yelled out “It's ya lapdance, Baz!” and they all fell about laughing.” Jordan is furious that a coworker named Joey presumably let Bonzo in and the idea that Joey might have bailed on Jordan again by “ducking out for a smoke.” But as Jordan moves forward they notice something- “I began to stride over, readying for the inevitable complaints then hesitated as I saw something far more unnerving than the ugly costume that was capering with the groom in the middle of the group. There was a pair of heavy boots on their side, poking just inside the still open doorway. Joey’s boots, and they weren't moving. Just then the google eyes looked turned to me, and a puffy finger raised cheekily to its mouth.” So Joey was killed by Bonzo and all the while “the men had all started chanting “Bonzo! Bonzo! Bonzo”, stamping their feet and banging the tables in a circle around the pair in the center…” and the music kept getting louder. So loud that it began to sound distorted from the strain the song was putting on the speakers.

Out of all the Entities the Slaughter seems to have a pretty strong connection to music but The Stranger also has a strong precedent for music. For example, The Calliope in TMA is an artifact tied to The Stranger. In MAG 024 (Strange Music) it is mentioned that the instrument has "Be still, for there is strange music" carved into the cover of the keyboard. While The Slaughter’s connection to music is probably due to an association between rhythm and war (think the marching of an army or the phrase “drums of war”) as well as the fear of “violent” music, The Stranger’s connection to music seems to come from the idea of either strange unknown sounds or a song / sound that sounds really uncanny. It is noted by Jordan that Mr. Bonzo’s song grows louder and more distorted overtime which would mean that the song is becoming more and more incomprehensible as it would slowly change into a song with lyrics you couldn’t understand or identify as easily. It could also be that the song sounds uncanny in the sense that it is familiar in some ways but something is off about it.

Jordan tries to call for help on his walkie talkie but can only hear Mr. Bonzo’s theme blaring out of its tiny speaker. Jordan tries to warn everyone and get out but no one can hear him over the music. Bonzo takes the groom and begins to “dance” with him by spinning around faster and faster until Bonzo decides to rip his arms off and even as this act of gorey brutality took place the other party goers present continued to laugh and laugh until Jordan’s scream caused them to realize this wasn’t some sort of prank. Almost everyone begins to yell in terror but some yelled in rage and proceeded to attack Bonzo: “A few of the bigger guys picked up chairs or bottles and began to beat and slash at the thing. It didn’t seem to notice, its bulbous, bloodshot, eyes staying fixed on the groom’s body as it raised it overhead.” Bonzo then proceeds to continue pulverizing the body by smashing it against the ground over and over.

“For a split second, all was still but the music just pounded on, barely recognizable now over the distortion from the smoking speakers as those voices, no longer childlike, still chanted the words “He’s here to stay… He wants to play…”” “Then Mr. Bonzo turned towards us with its head bowed almost reverentially and everybody went silent. Slowly, awfully slowly, it raised its head, titling it coquettishly to one side. Then the seams across its face split revealing its gaping maw filled with even larger, sharper teeth.” Jordan admits that they don’t remember much about what happened after that but “I dream about it most nights. In the dream it digs through all those men to get to me, grabbing fistfuls of them and throwing them to smash against the wall. The strobe fires as its hands plunge into the pile of us and each flash shows a little less flesh between me and it, between me and all those teeth… finally everyone else is gone. I raise my arm to protect myself and it gently but inexorably lifts it into its mouth, smiles and bites… None of us was left whole but I was the luckiest. All I lost was a hand, it wasn’t even my dominant one.” The biting was set up previously in episode 10 when the transcripts mention “Gwen holds out the envelope and Mr Bonzo snatches it into his mouth, audibly chewing it. His teeth are not soft.”

Jordan says that they “told the investigators everything I know, doctors too. I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything, why the cameras weren't working, why it let me live. But I do know why there weren't any bodies. All I actually want is my hand back so I can tend bar but that isn’t going to happen is it? So I’ll have to settle for the next best thing and sue you for everything I can get, because I don’t know what happened that night but it was in your venue and no one came to help. Not Derek, not another doorman, no one. So yeah, you’d better have one hell of a settlement waiting for me, or I'll see you in court.”

While you could make an argument for themes of Entities like The Desolation, Flesh, Hunt, etc. I’m still going to primarily argue for Bonzo being tied to The Stranger or a similar Entity due to what we see in his previous appearances. For the sake of clarity, if there is any debate about what The Stranger embodies in MAG 200 it is stated “And as they learned to know their friends and kin, so too did they learn to fear the unknown figure, the coming of the stranger” and in MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” while in MAG 111 (Family Business) Jon says “The Stranger is the unknown. The uncanny.” and Gerard doesn’t correct him.

However, a lot of Mr. Bonzo’s behaviours in previous episodes resembles The Stranger (and The Stranger has violently attacked or killed people in the past). Mr. Bonzo is also described as being a clown. Something we know The Stranger has a precedent for manifesting as, probably due to both the idea of the uncanny valley being achieved with a costume or makeup and the idea of a traveling circus full of strangers you don’t know from out of town in addition to a clown costume acting as a disguise that can obscure whoever is wearing it. Not to mention that Mr. Bonzo is described as a suit, which could very easily connect to an Entity like The Stranger. Firstly, The Stranger tends to have a big emphasis on wearing things like skins and suits. Additionally, Gwen mentions in episode 11 “That… abomination wasn’t a costume. That was skin. It was sagging, it was sweaty!” and we know The Stranger has a tendency for wearing skin, skinning things (such as with taxidermy), etc. as a form of disguise, in order to hide itself, or to metaphorically rob something of their identity.

This also applies to costumes in general since usually wearing costumes or disguises can actually obscure who is wearing them and thus their true identity is unknown. There’s also the fact that costumes themselves can easily fall into the uncanny valley. Ever since Five Nights at Freddy’s became popular there’s been an uptick in horror media focusing on how creepy and uncanny things like animatronic suits can be. Not that Mr. Bonzo is an animatronic but it is a suit. Also, Bonzo apparently has hard teeth and having solid teeth on a suit could look uncanny.

The surprise gift and sudden appearance of Bonzo that others assume is some sort of surprise or prank could also tie into The Stranger and the idea of something mysteriously appearing or not being expected. Bonzo was originally made to prank celebrities. As Nigel explains in episode 10 that his produce ““inviting a famous person on, someone really serious, and we tell them we’re going to have them do a segment with a popular children’s entertainer. Now, obviously these folks won’t have any idea about what kids are actually watching, so we could come up with the most horrendous thing, claim kids loved it and see how long it took for the guest to realize that they were the joke. That they’d been “berried”” and “The problem with a surprise prank is that doing it on Saturday night primetime means pretty soon everyone knows about it, and the guests knew it was coming. A couple even requested it. So the prank part of it sort of died, and he just became an SOS mascot. One of my many tormentors in the dungeon. By the end we’d even retired Mr. Six, and it was all Bonzo.” Once again, a focus on surprise and I think it’s interesting that Bonzo loses his punch the more people know about and understand him. Bonzo is a character that thrived specifically on the guests not knowing who he was and did. So a potential relationship with the unknown again.”

In episode 10 Nigel says to Gwen ““Try not to stare. He doesn’t like it when people stare.” Which could relate to The Stranger. While all the Entities are connected, overlap, and need each other for a ritual bringing them into the world to work, with even seemingly opposing Entities bleeding into each other or having overlapping fears, The Stranger can often have an antagonistic relationship with The Eye and forms of being known. The Stranger tends to thrive off the fear of being unknown so staring at something aligned with The Stranger might make it react negatively. In MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” In MAG 165 (Revolutions) Not-Sasha says this in regards to The Eye’s Post-Change world “Do you know how it feels? To be – anonymous? And yet known! To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye. I’ve suffered enough.” So if my theory that Bonzo is tied to something like The Stranger is correct, that could explain a potentially negative reaction to being looked at for too long since aspects of The Stranger often don’t like it when people try to figure out what they are. This could ring extra true if it does turn out that the OIAR is somehow connected to The Eye.

Bonzo’s eating and biting could potentially be linked to The Stranger’s tendency for odd uncanny behavior, like that time Breekon / Hope ate a butterfly. The fact that this monster looks like Bonzo could also be related to the idea of the uncanny, since he would resemble Bonzo but behave and look a bit off. Also, it seems hard to tell if Bonzo is a costume or a monster resembling a costume which makes it harder to know what he is for sure, and The Stranger loves playing up mystery (think how we never know which character is Breekon and which character is Hope from Breekon and Hope in TMA, and Jon describes one of them as “one half of Breekon and Hope”). Also, Bonzo can only say his name which means you never really know what he’s saying or talking about.

Bonzo killing everyone in the room but leaving someone alive is not a completely unheard of idea. The Entities in general often seem to leave witnesses if in doing so more fear is generated and we see creatures like the Not-Them kill and replace people while ensuring that at least one person remembers what the original persona actually looked like even if no one else does. The reason for this is because if the Not-Them’s disguise was perfect and changed every bit of memory and evidence then there wouldn’t be anyone to be afraid of the idea that someone they know has been replaced by a stranger.

Jordan mentions “I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything, why the cameras weren't working, why it let me live. But I do know why there weren't any bodies.” which emphasizes his confusion about what’s happening. While confusion is often tied to The Spiral, in this case it stems from a bunch of unknown factors and variables, like why there were no other witnesses and why the cameras weren’t working.” As far as there being no witnesses and the cameras failing to work, the Entities are known for usually being on the downlow and not common knowledge but Entities like The Stranger tend to thrive off the fear of mystery and have a precedent for things like mysterious disappearances or hiding people / things. The Calliope I mentioned earlier mysteriously disappeared from the Institute’s archives at some point in TMA and in MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” Jonah specifically mentions that The Stranger has a connection to “the hidden” among other things. In MAG 102 (Nesting Instinct) Jonah even says that The Stranger essentially hid Jon from him when saying “I was doing everything in my power to locate you. Everyone was working on finding the ritual site.” and “[Irritated] I am sorry, John, that my powers have not yet reached the level of omniscience.” Jordan does say that they know why there weren’t any bodies which implies that Mr. Bonzo probably ate them.

Jordan having trouble remembering exactly what happened actually does have a precedent with The Stranger since the Entity does have connections to memory loss or a loss of identity. In MAG 165 (Revolutions) we see Not-Sasha watch over a Domain that takes the form of a merry-go-round with people fighting over faces. People with no faces must fight over the faces of others to rip them off and regain some sense of identity. When they lose their face it is said “And soon enough they will forget they ever even had one, rest assured; it’s best to step the dance and keep your face secured as much as you are able. Just. Keep. Running.” Jon and co also face memory loss when they interrupt The Stranger’ ritual in TMA and forget who they are and what they are doing for a period of time.

Some other Entities this statement parallels are that of The Slaughter (with sudden brutal and gory violence), The Flesh (via bodily disfigurement by way of losing a hand, Bonzo being described as releasing “some vile mixture of putrid water, rotten foam and rancid meat.” when cut at some point, and Bonzo biting into people), The End (a lot of people brutally die), The Corruption (from the aforementioned vile mixture pouring out of Bonzo), and even The Eye (with the strange and horrifying dreams Jordan is forced to relive over and over resembling how people who give Jon live statements are forced to relive said moments in the form of nightmares over and over). Like always, I have to at least touch on the fact that The Eye doesn’t seem to just be the fear of being watched but also being a witness to something you don’t want to see. Jon can force people to recount and relive terrible moments, Jonah can force information into the heads of people like Melanie and Martin, and in MAG 200 The Eye is stated to have been born from the fear of one’s own eyes showing them too much.

All this being said, I still think the OIAR is somehow connected to The Eye. There’s the cases being like statements but also the fact that they supply sensitive information (such as names and locations) to things like Mr. Bonzo. People like Jonah could almost always know one’s location thanks to their Eye powers and The Eye is connected to the fear of someone / something knowing too much about you (such as knowing where and who you are). I wonder why Bonzo was sent to kill this particular groom when he was just partying? Did the groom know something or overstep some line or was the groom just some sort of offering to appease Mr. Bonzo? How was this person’s name and address obtained? Was it just mundane tracking or something closer to Jonah’s clairvoyance? Nigel acted like he was doing the OIAR a favor so right now it seems like this was a target decided by the OIAR and not necessarily Nigel. Unless you want to argue that the “favor” is aiding in keeping Bonzo pacified, under wraps, or something potentially more mutually beneficial. I wonder if Jordan’s dreams are somehow connected to being directly involved in a case or facing an External of the OIAR? It could also simply be that Jordan is traumatized.

We cut to Gwen and the transcripts say she “is sat at her desk, stunned by what she has just heard.” and she only says “Jesus Christ…” I wonder if this is because the case is unusually brutal or gorey when compared to most others or if she realized there’s a connection between the letter she delivered and what happens in this case. Considering what Lena said it's very possible that some of the cases the OIAR gets are connected to the activity of their own Externals (such as Mr. Bonzo).

ALICE CONT.

“Gwen? Hello?”

GWEN

“(dazed) What?”

Getting sucked into a statement like this and statements having a negative impact on one’s mental state are both things we have seen in TMA. Jon had a hard time stopping once he started a statement and at one point Jon expresses worry that Martin was listening to a bunch of statements for Peter Lukas and his plan in regards to The Extinction. Although, it could be that Gwen is merely shocked.

Gwen explains that she met one of the Externals but Alice seems to think Gwen is just referring to some annoying assholes as opposed to any supernatural monsters that takes the form of beloved childhood characters.

Gwen seems to finally wonder the question that I’ve been wondering for a while now:

GWEN

“What do you think we’re actually doing, here at the O.I.A.R.?”

ALICE

“Apart from mortgaging our mental health for a wage packet?”

GWEN

“We’ve both been here long enough to know this place. We’re not doing good. We’re not just sifting random data. There’s something wrong here.”

ALICE

“What are you getting at?”

GWEN

“You never wonder what the point is? Who benefits from all this awfulness?”

ALICE

“I don’t wonder. I know.”

GWEN

(sitting up) “What? Really?”

ALICE

“(portentous) Oh yeah. I’ve known for a while. What we’re doing here, it’s all part of a grand plan to satisfy one of the most unspeakable evils known to mankind... “

Gwen’s on the edge of her seat.

ALICE

“(almost a whisper) …the UK government.”

In TMA the point of the Institute sifting through statements and stuff was twofold. Firstly, to feed The Eye but also to set up the lynchpin for The Eye’s ritual with the position of the Archivist. I wonder if something similar is going on here but I can’t say since while you could argue that being an Externals Liaison is like the Archivist and shares the role as being a “living chronicle of fear” (especially since Lena remarked that Gwen should show fear via screaming because Externals tend to like that) Gwen had to blackmail her way into that position. I have no idea who was the Externals Liaison before her or if there are other Liaisons, if there even was one(s) before / with Gwen at all. Also, unlike the Institute, the OIAR is explicitly connected to the government and is meant to respond to things (not just watch). So it’s very likely that the OIAR has a role that is different from just “The Mass Ritual / Institute 2.0.” They could still be gathering fear related to the statements and being observed like the Institute in TMA though. However, even the Institute still wanted the Archival staff to do a good job following up statements and stuff. Jon tries to reorganize the Archives after Gertrude purposefully left them disorganized and Tim corrects Jon about some errors he made when reading some statements. The OIAR doesn’t really seem to care how well or poorly their workers categorize the cases and I don’t know if anyone checks.

Alice’s joke about the greatest evil known to mankind being the UK government feels like foreshadowing considering that the OIAR, and by extension all the Externals like Bonzo, are connected to the government.

Alice’s comment “Apart from mortgaging our mental health for a wage packet?” references how stressful this job seems to be.

Conclusion

Yeah, idk. This was a very simple episode overall and it mostly just seemed like it was following up Lena’s point about paying attention to the caseload.

Okay, hold on, before I end this I figured I should actually try to look at the voices in the computer system a bit more closely, since quite frankly, like with the alchemy symbols, I’ve admittedly been neglecting them and not focusing on them as much as I should have. This is because I actually couldn’t tell if there was any kind of correlation between the voices and the kinds of cases they read but a video by Maddie’s Maxis called “This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories” (which you can view here This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories) hypothesizes that there is actually a correlation. As we all know two of the computer voices sound like Martin and Jon and Maddie argues that the kinds of statements the voices read correspond to something that had to do with the character. For example, in theory NORRIS (Martin’s voice) tends to have statements relating to self-loathing and loneliness. I don’t know what they are feeding Maddie but Maddie is potentially cooking here. So I decided to glance over at some of the statements and see if there are any patterns.

I’m going to start with the theme that seems the most concrete in my opinion. The cases that NORRIS (Martin’s voice) reads seem to often be tied to themes of isolation, losing loved ones, or feeling abandoned. I should make it clear that while I know Martin in TMA is connected to The Lonely I am not saying all the cases NORRIS reads are connected to The Lonely. The mere presence of feeling alone or isolated doesn’t automatically make a statement Lonely related in the same way someone dying, getting attacked, or something taking place at night or in darkness automatically means End, Slaughter, or Dark respectively. Also, it’s important to remember that every Entity, even seemingly opposing ones, have overlap, shared fears, commonalities, etc..

But let’s look at the cases to see if this pattern is really there. The case NORRIS covers in episode 1 involves the Anglerfish, or something resembling it, killing and replacing their romantic partner. Harriet even says “And that voice I have loved for twenty years answered: “Some of him.”” So loss of a loved one.

In episode 3 NORRIS covers a case in which Dr. Samuel seems to feel immense guilt and sorrow about the death of Maddie. Once again, the loss of a close loved one.

In episode 8 NORRIS goes over a report Terrance submits about the effects of brutal liminalism. While no one dies or is replaced in the actual events of the case, Terrance does mention “originally took my role as a night janitor at Forton following a protracted divorce which cost me the majority of my friendships.” So while their partner isn’t dead they did lose a loved one, and if you read my thoughts on that episode you know that I actually think the case has a lot of similarities with The Lonely. The fog, the vaguely familiar but impossible to understand gibberish, people with repeating features, being isolated in a dark void, etc.. Even if you disagree that it’s The Lonely there is still a connection to themes of losing someone close and being alone.

If there was an episode to disprove this theory it would probably be episode 12 since it’s just Bonzo murdering a room full of people. Jordan does say “I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything” and earlier in the case they mention that they believed their coworker by the name of Joey the doorman might have ditched him again but this definitely feels a bit more like a stretch. Jordan does seem to blame the establishment for what happened and this is because from the perspective of Jordan no one came to help despite how obvious and loud the commotion was. Which could maybe tie into the idea of being abandoned or left alone but this is definitely pushin it and it’s clear that our understanding of what kinds of cases each voice reads might expand as the series goes on.

Maddie argues that CHESTER (Jonathon’s voice) seems to usually cover cases related directly to the Magnus Institute. Which is generally true, CHESTER covers the cases of RedCanary spelunking in the Institute’s ruins in episode 1, and the gambling dice being submitted to the Institute in episode 9 for example. But CHESTER also covers the case about Tom wanting to watch Voyeur in episode 5, the case regarding Hilltop Center in episode 7, Gordon’s encounter with the tattoos and Ink5 during construction in episode 11. It’s very possible that these are just related to the Institute in ways we don’t understand yet, for example some of the characters that appear could be members of the Institute or something, but in my opinion this definitely throws a wrench into some things.

CHESTER seems to have a stronger case for a theme of curiosity and a desire to know in general as opposed to just the Magnus Institute. RedCanary investigates the archives out of curiosity, Tom really wants to see the Voyeur movie for their blog, the narrator explains that they experimented with the gambling dice to figure out how they worked, and Gordon keeps talking about how they “just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” As I’ve mentioned previously, The Eye also has a major emphasis on a desire to know and understand something even if it comes at the cost of yourself and / or other people. Hilltop Center still seems like a bit of an outlier here but while Dianne isn’t spelunking through ruins or anything she does mention that she was looking for people to help her work at the center. Which, while a bit of a stretch, could fit with a theme of curiosity or desire to know in the case of Chester. Or at least the idea of something being searched for as a theme at least.

If you wanted to argue that CHESTER actually related to things being looked for you could say that the case about the gambling dice revolves around the narrator giving the Institute artifacts, and they even say “So yeah, I tell you all about them, how I got them, all that crap and you just… You take them away, right? You accept them? Good. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. It’s how it worked for me, at least. Put them in whatever vault you like, bury them, drop them in the ocean, for all I care. All that matters is that they’re yours now.” So you could say that the Institute was looking for artifacts. You could also argue that the narrator was looking for people to roll the dice, looking for good luck, or started making their way towards Gary when they found him.

AUGUSTUS has a voice I am not familiar with (and we will get to the popular theory in a moment). I can only recall AUGUSTUS voicing one case, I might be forgetting one or something, so I don’t have a lot to go on. AUGUSTUS could be covering really old statements, as Sam notes the one in episode 4 is from the 18th century, or statements revolving around others climbing their way to their top and doing whatever it takes to do so. It’s kind of unclear until I can see some more AUGUSTUS statements.

There’s also some obvious character associations with this theory. Martin, someone connected to The Lonely, has statements reflecting some kind of isolation or abandonment, Jon, the Archivist with a strong tie to The Eye and someone who was strung along while trying to solve Jonah’s plan and learn the truth about the Entities, has statements involving extreme curiosity or people looking for things, and Jonah, someone who is really old and ruthless (so ruthless that they made the world a fear hellscape in an attempt to avoid death), has had a statement taking place in the 18th century involving someone giving a blood sacrifice to play violin super well.

There’s a popular theory going around that the three voices in the computers are actually Jonathon, Martin, and Jonah, and this definitely seems like one of the more credible theories floating around the community to a degree. AUGUSTUS’ unfamiliar voice could be the voice of Jonah’s original body. Jon, Martin, and Jonah were all in the panopticon when the Change ended which could be the event that got them tied to the computers. It could also have to do with being the pupil of the Eye somehow. Jonah and Jon were both the Eye’s pupil at some point and Jon got his position by killing Jonah to take his spot. It’s possible something weird happened like Martin was about to become the Eye’s pupil after removing Jon from the position, giving them this common link, but I can’t say for sure.

Maddie also points out another big thing to remember in the video. I have mentioned that Annabelle seems generally right about what happens to the Entities’ various Monsters and Avatars after the Entities get pulled into the next universe. Monsters, like potentially the Anglerfish, presumably get sucked into the new universe since they are part of the Entities. Other people may or may not get sucked into the universe depending on how attached they were to the Entity. It’s also possible that they will always just be left behind. However, Annabelle also mentions that it’s possible the Entities will take the aspects of a person that are connected to or are a part of the Entity. So, it’s possible that the parts of Jon, Martin, and Jonah in the computer are not them in their entirety but merely specific aspects of their personality or being. It could literally just be their voices taken by one or more Entities for all we know.

We also know that some Entities, like The End, seem capable of making copies or “memories” of people after / when they die. In MAG 154 (Bloody Mary) Eric states “I know that I’m not really Eric; I’m just a memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.” So one could argue that the voices in the computers are not the fully sentient original versions of Jon, Martin, and Jonah but “memories” or copies created by one or more Entities. This could also explain why the third voice might be Jonah even though Jonah potentially died before the Entities jumped universes. This voice could simply be The Eye’s metaphorical recollection of Jonah or Jonah wasn’t completely dead when the Entities switched universes. This also means that the voices in the computers could be more malicious than we first assume if there’s a chance they are in actuality not Jon, Martin, and Jonah or are in truth aspects of The Eye or bits of their personalities trying to achieve a specific goal.

As I’ve mentioned previously, the cases the voices read out don’t seem to be completely random. The second Sam is about to give up his search for the Magnus Institute CHESTER spits out a case that is perfect for reigniting his curiosity with the addition of a new clue, and when Celia takes the job the first case she gets is about Hilltop Center (which could relate to Celia’s questions about multiversal and time travel). I still can’t say if the CHESTER or any other of the computers are trying to help Sam or use him for more nefarious purposes.

I’m not super confident about this being the patterns the computers follow at the moment because frankly there isn’t a lot of cases to go off of, and I need to see more AUGUSTUS. It’s also possible that the cases are more variable or context dependant. What the voices read could depend on the person at the computer, for example: it’s possible CHESTER reads a bunch of cases connected to the Institute because that’s what Sam was most interested in. There are also some cases we don’t have enough context behind yet, for example the mysterious figure in the Hilltop Road case could be connected to something like the Institute in some way, or that some of the voices focus on certain Externals Liaisons, people, etc..

If you want another TMAGP theory video to watch here’s one by Pinkelotje: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX51EHLy7BQ&ab_channel=pinkelotje.

#tmagp #tma #the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #theory

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urprofsqueermenace · 3 months ago

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was tagged by @blueberry-beanie (thanks!) So let's do this during my lunch break :)

Last song: Pair of Wings by Frankie Rose, a song from the Hilda (my favourite cartoon!!) soundtrack

Last book: Finally finished reading 'The Global Fight Against LGBTI Rights' by Phillip M. Ayoub & Kristina Stoeckl. I recommended it to a random university librarian before I even read it, but I don't regret doing that haha

Last movie: honestly no idea...does this documentary about the G20 Hamburg summit count?

Last TV show: I really enjoyed watching Moritz Neumeier's comedy programme Kollaps yesterday evening

Sweet/spicy/savoury: I'm a massive sweet tooth but also like the combination of sweet and savoury haha

Relationship status: I love my friends :) (I'm aroace and not interested in a relationship)

Last thing googled: "python filter by column value" - I am currently learning Python so I'm not limited to R for computational text analysis stuff

Current obsession: I think I'm moving away from being obsessed about die Anstalt (after rewatching kinda all episodes and posting some Neffton art that you can find if you want on his tagged pics on insta a cringe shitpost) and towards comedy in general? One coping strategy for the US election was watching Till Reiners 'Flamingos am Kotti' and I think watching comedy really helps me endure the current political✨️circumstances ✨️

Looking forward to: I just want my sprained toe to be completely healed like it already got way better and I went on a walk on the weekend! But I really want to go on walks more often...and run...and do muay thai again...but hey my assisted chin ups are getting more lol

I once again don't know who to tag...maybe @morallygaymwah again :)

#asks

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callistocalavarni · 6 months ago

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Wish me luck ❥ 𓄲 𓄴

I have found love in a new reality and will be planning to shift there for a very long time.

I already posted this in Red Takami's shifting discord sever in the methods channel, but I also wanted to post it here because I feel like i've been neglecting my tumblr. When I first joined shifttumblr, the inital introduction I had to it was Leydenkilgore's profile. She is a saint. Even though I have shifted before I unfortunately have fallen into a slump do to personal issues and haven't shifted as much as I use to. I also fell out of love with a lot my old dr's; Though I hope they intrest me again later in my life. Leydens post about expermenting with methods stuck out to me, as i've never really thought about doing that. I wasn't familer with any of the methods she had talked about as I just make it up as I go when I shift but from here on out I will be changing my routine. In her post she talked about watching a film that helped create a new method. I read the google doc she made and now I have a plan on a new shifting routine. (I recommend reading the google doc if you're interested it is linked in her post, which I have linked earlier in this post.)

i’m experimenting. I didn’t try and shift last night like I said I was. Last night I FINALLY decided on a reality of which I wanted to shift to. (i swear everyday I think of a new dr; i’m trying to fix that) I had this problem were I would over script for my dr’s…. and then never ending up trying shifting there because of multiple reasons; I didn’t feel the connection I felt with it when I first thought of it, or I got really motivated to script every little detail instead of actually shifting… So i’m doing something new. I’m not going to script at all for the dr I’m shifting to and just trust my subconscious. I know the general vibe of what I want and who i’ll be but other then that it’s up to the right side of my brain. I’m going to try the hypnagogic method tonight and tomorrow, then i’ll be trying the somewhere in time method for two days after that. Then after that I will be trying a combined method of both; Hypnagogic Time method. ( i have tweaked it to my liking ) I have the intention to shift with each experiment. And i’ll log my dr experiences in my journals ( that i script into all my drs ) and if I ever come back or shift to a parallel reality like this one I will share them! I am also laying down on the floor for this method because every time I go and shift laying on my hardwood floor I always shift. I don’t know what it is about it that makes me shift, but if you want to switch up your shifting routine I definitely recommend it.

note; Lumari is a country I scripted, Kirasia being on of its regions.

I've always thought about shifting but didn't have a name for it. It was in the back of my mind since I was a kid; then it blew up on tiktok and then I started to get more into it, I just always felt that there was a possiblity of something like it; mainly because I wanted something like shifting to be real. Then, a couple years ago I did it for the first time and that made me full send into it. I mostly shifted to space dr's because space was what I was most interested in. I was huge on shows like farscape, cowboy bebop and the x-files. Before life in my or hit the fan and became really shitty, I was shifting to my space stalker dr non-stop. And then a bunch of family issues arose. And that's when the shifting slump started. I was having severe mental break-downs everyday, was extremely exhausted and just taxing to be around; I would blow up at people for the smallest things and my family would do the same to me. Thankfully, everything died down. My life gradually went back to normal, my family became safe to be around again and shifting just wasn't on my mind as much as it use to be. But now, it is. Since then, I haven't really thought about shifting to my space stalker dr but in the back of my mind a new idea popped up. I will maybe post about Lumari more, I have made one post showing the map but that's about it. I have also shifted there a couple of weeks ago but as a... guy?? Which I did not intend to do. I stayed there for a couple of days and shifted back on accident. Since then I haven't tried to shift. But I intend to tonight. ( as a girl lol ) Again I haven't made an indepth script for this dr because I do not want to lose the spark I have for it.

My plan for tonight is meditating, laying on my floor with my headphones and listenting to music that reminds me of my Kirasia reality. Then, focus on my breathing and think about slow calm moments in my reality. I have the intention to become aware of my dr while I am looking out of my bedroom gazing onto the mountains.

#reality shifting #shifting #shiftblr #shifters #shifting blog #shifting community #shifting stories #shifting motivation #desired reality #reality shifter

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mrs-gauche · 4 months ago

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Hello~ o/

Only one more week until DA4's release, to me it still feels unreal! 🤯 But we're almost there ✨️

Since we talked about it before, I hope you don't mind me asking: Do you happen to have any new insights regarding the German voicecast? I still couldn't find any news on it and can't help but be a bit worried now 😥

I think I tried everything in my possibilities to find a snippet through Google but who knows...

Hii! OHH you and me both, my friend! 😭❤️ I've been looking at forums and even websites of different German recording studios since like June and there seems to be absolutely no info on neither the German or the French voice cast, just nothing at all. :( But we know that there definitely IS one, because it says so on the Steam page. 😅 I wonder if marketing just doesn't bother because they think no one cares, but I've actually seen quite a few people now asking about it on their official accounts? I've even heard of people sending e-mails to EA Germany and threads on their forums asking about the VAs, but no response so far. :/

It's really a bummer because thinking back, I remember there was so much stuff shown in the lead up to Inquisition, they even showed some behind the scenes stuff at the studio in Berlin and videos of the different VAs and remember these cool contests where fans got a chance to voice NPCs in the game, even in Germany? Like, comparing the marketing of DAI to Veilguard's is really.. interesting, but then again, that was ten years ago.

DAI was localized by GlobaLoc and I think there's a good chance they're doing Veilguard too, they've done a ton of EA games and also Anthem (btw, I just looked it up, and it seems like Anthem also only had a single German trailer? 🤔), which would make it more likely for DAI's VAs to return? And now that the launch trailer is out (I haven't seen it because spoilers, but apparently it has new voice lines), I wonder if we'll get a little ad for German media or even TV or something and maybe that's when we'll get to hear them finally? 🥲 Aside from old VAs returning, I am dying to know who voices Rook and the companions of course. 😭

As a side note, I recently looked up the website of Solas' VA with a list of all his work, which he seems to update quite frequently and while it doesn't list Veilguard (yet?), I've noticed that he hasn't had as many projects this year as in any other. Localization is usually one of the last things being done in development, it took them about a year to localize DAI and I even remember how he made a post back then talking about how huge of a project it was, so I really hope he returns for Veilguard and maybe he was busy doing voice work for it this past year. 😁

But, you know, even if we don't get any info until release, the good thing is we only have to wait one more week to find out. :D Like, we'll just start playing and it'll be a great surprise.... *nervous laughter*

And as soon as we get to hear those voices, I recommend checking out this forum, where voice obsessed nerds like me will channel their inner detective and figure these VAs out before the credits roll. lol

#thank you for the ask and so sorry I couldn't be more of help 😣#seriously I will throw a party when they *do* give us news before release lol #finally I have an excuse to use my old favorite established tag on this blog #yours truly - the founder of the Ozan Ünal Appreciation Club #<33333

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tathrin · 2 years ago

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not so much a fic writer question from the list, but your reply to #48 got me thinking - have you read Sansukh by @Determanfidd? If yes, what did you think of it?

I have! Probably much more recently than every other person on the planet who likes Legolas and Gimli, but I finally have and I adore it.

It took me a while to get fully invested, in part because I'm not really a fan of the leaning-into-movieverse-and-then-pushing-further thing that people have a tendency to do where they really dial-up the antagonism between Legolas and Gimli, which this fic did do in the beginning so I gave it a little side-eye about that for the first few chapters (but thankfully by then I was already intrigued by the dwarves so I kept reading)...and in a much larger part because—and I realize that I'm about to speak sacrilege in the eyes of many here, yes—I simply do not care about Bilbo and Thorin as a couple. I don't! I actually filtered that tag out when I first started looking through the Legolas/Gimli tag on AO3 because of how completely disinterested I was (hence Sansûkh not even showing-up in the tag for me at first lol).

But I kept seeing references to it on tumblr and in fanart (in particular this one) so one night when I ran out of other stories that I was interested in reading I finally popped it open...and, huh, that's an interesting beginning, okay. So I read a little more. And I found myself quickly getting interested almost in spite of myself in all these dwarves whom, I must confess, I genuinely could not remember which was which in most cases (meaning their depictions in the movie; I couldn't place which name went with which dwarf; I googled a few times I'm not going to lie). So it was interesting also in a more meta-sense, because here was this author taking existing canon characterizations and details and building up a whole society upon them...but to me, they were effectively complete OCs. So it was I'm sure a very different reading experience for me than it was for most readers, because I had no context for over half the canon cast!

(The only reason I sometimes know who the movie dwarves are now when people reference them is because of this fic I am not kidding.)

Although speaking of OCs...oh my stars, the OCs in this story are amazing. I'm glad especially that I already had a Mirkwood Populace of my own conceived before I read this, because Laerophen in particular is just the best and I want to read a dozen more stories with him and it would be very difficult to be trying to come up with Mirkwood OCs now without ending up with pale imitations of Legolas's brothers here if I hadn't already had Rilaerloth and company living in my head.

(I will forever live in hope that the author will someday figure out a way to write an original novel with the general premise of that ending trio's journey to the east because that would be amazing.)

Anyway, Sansûkh very quickly went from "I suppose this is interesting" to "I am so invested in this entire universe holy crap" for me and I've actually read the whole thing through twice now. I actually even gave a crap about Bilbo and Thorin's relationship by the end! I was rooting for them so hard!

Absolutely great fic. Spectacular world building, great character work both for the canon folks and especially for the OCs. Love it, recommend it with enthusiasm...even to folks who potentially don't ship one of the main couples, or think they have no interest in most of the characters XD

Although I maintain that I do still want this fic too.

#sansûkh #sansukh #lotr fanfiction #ask meme #fic rec #lotr

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claireelizabethsblog · 1 year ago

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~ December's Books Reviewed ~

The Dreamer Trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater

(1,101 pages total)

I wasn't expecting to enjoy this trilogy as much as I did. I loved the characters in particular, but the plot was also engaging and went in directions I wasn't expecting. I would say that my one regret would be that I hadn't read the previous trilogy first. Maybe I'll go back and read it later but considering I now know where all the characters stories end I don't know how much enjoyment I'll get out of watching people pine and/or fight until they work out the relationships I know they will get to. That being said, I didn't feel like I missed out on any enjoyment while reading it as a result of not reading the first trilogy. I fell right into the story and the characters easily and really truly did love all the dynamics etc.

I gave this trilogy between 4-4.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️(🌗)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

(541 pages)

Absolutely incredible. So worth the wait (I've been trying to find this book in a shop for AGES!) and very pleased that I finally found a copy. Absolutely chilling at points and definitely almost has minorly horroresque elements (but this is coming from someone who really hates horror books so probably isn't that bad to most!) It almost made me cry (and I'm not a cryer) too. Basically, I'd definitely recommend!

I gave this book 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Poppy War Trilogy by R.F. Kuang

(1,862 pages total)

*SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW*

A little heavy on military scenes for me. I found it a tad confusing at points, and definitely began to run out of steam towards the end of the trilogy. However, it did keep me engaged through all three books and I did finish the trilogy so it was far from bad. Overall I think it was an interesting read, and I did really like the sort of slow realisation that you had that the "protagonist"/speaker was actually most definitely the villain. I think loads of people would absolutely love this trilogy, and Kuang is a fantastic writer, it just maybe wasn't for me.

I gave this trilogy 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides

(356 pages)

Was okay. Not great, but certainly not bad either. Kept my attention throughout, and I honestly wasn't expecting the twist at the end so that was undeniably successful. I will say that without knowing anything about the author, it was very very clear to me from about 20 pages in that he was a male writer writing from the perspective of a female protagonist. I googled and I can confirm the author is male. He didn't do anything overtly sexist or anything, I think there is just a vibe that you can pick up on.

I gave this book 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

The Betrayals by Bridget Collins

(423 pages)

The only reason this book isn't getting 1 star (and the only reason I think I was able to finish it) is because of its potential. The game at the centre of the story is never explained, nor was the government, nor (as far as I could work out, but I confess to beginning to slightly skim read) was the entire character of "the rat" and the point of their storyline. The relationships and descriptive language felt uncomfortable to me, and a very old fashioned approach to many things. The "twist" felt badly set up and overused. Additionally, the entire thing was just unnecessarily complex, like the author was trying to show off how clever and intellectual they were, but failed.

I gave this book 1.5 stars ⭐️🌗

Curtain: Poirot's Last Case by Agatha Christie

(284 pages)

Quick, easy, enjoyable. Almost got emotional reading the end of Poirot, but it also was a very fitting end for him too. I loved the symmetry with the first case and book too. Basically, a Poirot novel is never not going to be good.

I gave this book 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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lemonseeds-blog · 2 years ago

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Vlad Journal | Prologue

"At the start of the night, he was as far as he could be without blatantly sitting elsewhere. But as we went on, it was as if we were pulled together, unconsciously. A force that we did little to fight against. The rest of the night…I’m not sure I could pen it here properly. (And perhaps should not?)"

This will be an in-character journal entry summarizing Vlad's thoughts from the latest episode of The Sanguine Society. You can find the public copy of this journal here, if you prefer google docs. This particular post is a bit longer than is usually to be expected, as it contains several entries; it is also mildly NSFW, though not all entries will be. If you like to listen to music while reading, I would recommend Elegie, Op. 24 for today's entry. I Hope you enjoy 🖤

Wednesday, April the 28th, 2023

I had kaffe und kuchen with Elenor today. She found me sitting in the greenhouse again, practicing for the show. She has been such a dear since I took residence here; accommodating my 'odd' hours and habits, with hardly a question. We chatted a bit, but my German is barely conversational these days. Shame I did not pick it up more, and leaving already. But it is nice to sit quietly as well. She says she enjoys my playing, and I enjoy her company. 3 decades has gone impossibly fast.

Friday, April the 30th, 2023

Louis Roederer Cristal Brut (2008) 1.5L

Colour: Amber, Sunlight

Fragrance: wonderfully golden fruit

Savour: Opens bright and fruity; pear and apple. A bit bitter on the end; floral, but pollen

Paired with Crème Brûlée: slightly too much fruit for the dish, but lovely to sip afterwards

Transcribe to wine notes⤴️

Sunday, April the 1st, 2023

Performance with the company has been going well; we will have our final show tomorrow. And my final altogether. I will greatly miss living here. The town is quiet. This apartment is quaint, but has only gotten finer over my stay. The people have been kind and allow me to keep to myself. I think I could stay here for quite a while longer without being bothered. But it is time. Adăpost Manor cannot sit absent and idle, it is a waste. I will be meeting with Reya after the show tomorrow, and perhaps get some updates on the community while catching up. It really will be so good to see her, it has been too long. Too long since many things. When I left Adăpost, I thought I might put it up for sale before returning, but I have found myself longing more and more. To perform in the music room and to have the smell of good food in the kitchens. To sit and read in the library and to tend to the arboretum. The place has had many lifetimes already, and it will be good to get back and find footing in a new cycle. It is not a home only for I, after all. 30 years of selfishness is enough.

Monday, April the 2nd, 2023

Aurelio was at the show tonight. Aurelio.

It was no accident of course, Reya must have planned this. Though I am not sure why. I had no words, and am still in lack. After 60 years, suddenly, Aurelio walks through my place of work. I don’t know that I ever gave much thought on what I would say, if he were to return. I would not have allowed myself to dwell there. And yet, here he is. And here am I, at a loss. He was polite, as always; asking about my colleagues and the city. Feigning interest, at the least. But he was nervous too, if I am not mistaken. In some ways it was just like we used to speak; joking, laughing, touching. And in other ways, he was more frightened than I have ever seen him. He has been traveling around Europe; backpacking and visiting family. He spoke often of loneliness, and longing for the familiar, so I offered to accompany him while he is in town. He surprised me with his enthusiasm, and then even more, with an invitation to the opera. A bold proposition, coming from him. But his excitement showed genuine, and after all this time, a night out could be refreshing. A date?

My coworkers invited us to a drink and we spent most of the night at Schlenkerla, and before I knew it, it was nearly sunrise. The rest of the lot turned in after the bar stopped serving, but I was not yet ready to watch him go. So I invited him to join me, and he agreed, even without knowing where I would take him. I showed him to the greenhouse.

His delight was apparent as soon as he saw the greenery and life growing over it.

"It's like a part of the old world reclaiming what has become modern" he says.

I had forgotten what it's like to see the world through his eyes. I feel I have been missing much. We sat and talked and waited for the sun to rise. He told me more about his family; how he has been tracing his blood lines and finding the ends. How he's gotten close to some of the younger ones, despite his eccentricities. And now he is unsure of where to go next. It seems like he has grown; the travel must be good for him. As the sky grew lighter, his face glowed with joy in telling me about the different generations he's met. His love has always made him beautiful. The sun coming through the leaves and on his skin and filling the colour of his eyes…I could almost let him burn to see his beauty in direct light. But he lives in chiaroscuro, and my heart aches all the more in the limbo. I feel that the opera will be difficult, I am not entirely sure what he expects from me. But I cannot let nerves stop me. I cannot miss this.

Friday, April the 5th, 2023

Yesterday was beyond words, but I will do my best. The opera was lovely. The champagne was delicious. And Aurelio, a beacon of light in all of it. He sent me a letter, penned in his own hand, though I did not receive it until nearly too late. I hardly had time to put together something to wear. He still dresses in his classic fine things, and wears them just as well as ever. I worried at first that I had overdressed, and that I would look quite the fool showing up at his place of stay in a tuxedo. But he knows me well, and suited for the occasion just as we used to. It was as if I had taken a step back through time, and this persisted for a good portion of the night. We shared looks, we laughed, we walked arm in arm and talked and talked. About the show and technology and travel and Vienna. I admitted to him that I will be returning. He seemed a bit excited at the concept, and said that he would like to visit. Apparently he has been searching for his sire, and thought he might be able to find more information at the Manor’s library. Perhaps he could have more casual visits, along with the research.

He apologized as well, for leaving all that time ago. Though I wish he hadn't. To see the pain I had caused him etched on his face and then take the blame for it all. I can hardly stand it. But he would not hear of my reasoning, and seemed nearly desperate to explain himself. The least I can do for him is listen and accept an apology. He said he couldn't imagine being enough; that he had never stopped to ask how I had felt. It never felt like we needed to. The fact that he suited me in a fashion that no other could, always felt so obvious. Until it was too late, I suppose. It was a bit of a relief though, to finally know. He says he was afraid, and so certain he would lose me, that he somehow ended up making sure of it.

“I had not felt the way that I felt with you for any one before, and that certainly frightened me”

My heart aches at the words, but I do not dare ask if he still feels this way. The reassurance of what once was, is enough. I brought him to the townhouse after the opera, to show him the stereo system and have some more conversation. Sat on the couch next to me, sipping wine and talking music, it was almost as if he had never left. At the start of the night, he was as far as he could be without blatantly sitting elsewhere. But as we went on, it was as if we were pulled together, unconsciously. A force that we did little to fight against. The rest of the night…I’m not sure I could pen it properly here. (And perhaps should not?)

“I don't want to waste anymore time”

My hand went to his cheek, without a thought. And our lips, meeting in a second. I am shocked for a moment, and look to his eyes to find a familiar fervor. He pulls at me, and the nostalgia washes over. The touch of cold marble, the smell of orange blossom. The look of his eyes, that of dark woods at dusk. My teeth at his neck, a taste of bitter iron; and a moan rising from his chest and vibrating in his throat under my lips. A groan that laments all the wasted time, and every second lost now between touches.

Waste no time.

My hands move faster than my thoughts, strict, leading; his fingers are gentle, pleading as ever. As always. On neck, on shoulders, on chest. Our movements and his song flowing and sliding ever down and down.

I can still hear it. And this letter he wrote, I trace the characters over and over to see the movement of his hand in the starts and stops of the ink. This letter that he penned and touched and surely fretted over, I can almost smell the orange blossom on it still. Perhaps I shall write him back; it would be my move at this point, no? I would not want him to think this was a single affair to me.

Saturday, April the 7th, 2023

He is not here. I had hoped to catch him for some coffee before I departed, but that may have been asking too much too soon. It was a fine evening, and we talked of many things, but perhaps that is all that he needed. A chat, a date, some closure. I was a fool for expecting more, really. One night with him again…It will have to be enough. I have so much to attended to at the Manor in any matter, it is long time tha

He’s here.

He came to me at the train station. He is coming with me to Vienna. He will stay in the Manor with me. I can hardly believe the words as I scribble them with him getting settled into the train car.

We're going back to Vienna.

#writing #journaling #roleplay #ttrpgs #lgbt ttrpg #the other Dracula daily #rollsrevamped #the sanguine society #Vladelio #LeeLuu Writes #Vlad Dracula #Vlad's Journal

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lightlycareless · 2 years ago

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Chapter 33 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!! I'm here... again... after disappearing for like 2 weeks lol.

Allot of things happened, between my birthday, surprise visits, me getting sick, me getting sick again, and con's... yeah, I was quite busy (and good thing I postponed the next update lol am I jinxing myself tho?) but I didn't forget writing them notes!!!

I'm sorry it took a while for me to post them, but they're finally here! They're quite short since there isn't much for me to expand on this chapter :> (which you can find over here.... hehe) but I still hope you find them interesting!

Per usual, this post has spoilers so I recommend reading the chapter first, unless you want to get spoilers with no context lol. Also, this is briefly, (mainly not) proofread so I apologize for any mistakes 😭

Now, without any further ado, here are the notes!

As some chapters in the past, I had some issues figuring out what I wanted for an introduction.

I already knew what points I wanted to cover, but there are moments where I have issues connecting those points, so after a while thinking about it, I finally decided to go with the one thing I had talked about in the past, but never really show, that being: Y/N’s letters to Hinata!

Now, it goes without saying that these letters had to be treated carefully since Y/N is meant to be locked away from the world and all that stuff. So, there wasn’t much to be written in that sense, Y/N wouldn’t go ahead to literally write down all of the things she had gone through while on the estate.

Of course, that soon changed when she began to feel some kind of cathartic release while writing them, as well as a feigned sensation that she was actually speaking to Hinata.

Going back to those letters after I was done writing them was bittersweet. After knowing all that happened all I could think of is “NO, THAT’S NOT TRUE AT ALL!!” 😭😭😭 (on the fabricated ones right) and the way that Y/N was trying so hard to act as if she was living a normal life, like she was contacting her sister as she always did because they couldn’t meet due to her job… ☹ It’s nothing but a lie, a longing for a happy life, in a happy marriage, maybe where Naoya wasn’t her husband but instead anyone else lol.

Ugh, he’s a terrible, poor excuse for a human being. I’m excited for next chapter 😊

Anyways, I added a few details I thought would fit Y/N’s personality, how she would normally “text”, for example, kaomoji’s. It might be a bit… redundant I guess, but it’s the small things that help remind me she’s just 18, super young and already having gone through all this. (Also the first letter made me think that maybe I’m being too serious/dramatic with certain conversations, you know? Like chill, that’s your sister you’re talking/writing to lol)

My favorite letter would have to be the “I hate Naoya” one, inspired by a segment found in the Twilight saga, specifically on New Moon, right after Edward leaves Bella and there’s just chapters that only October, November, that kind of stuff. At one point I was tempted to upload a chapter that only said “I hate Naoya” over and over again and call it a day 😂 (I would’ve posted the rest of the chapter immediately after, but damn … I just might do that later on)

When doing the final editing on the ao3 page, just to check how the chapter was going to look published, I was very surprised to see that segment wasn’t very long… I ended up extending a few “I hate Naoya’s” just because, but I still wasn’t satisfied, considering it was one whole page on my google doc, but I think it still got the point across lol.

From there, the other thing that I wanted to show (and the one that seems to have yall divided 🤭) is Naoaki! And how their dynamic has changed. The staff and Ranta have stated that the two (mostly Naoaki tho) had become a bit bolder with their interactions, and I wanted to show just what they were doing for them to come to that conclusion—cause we’ve seen how they be acting inside closed doors AMIRITE? AAHHAHA

This part was particularly… well, I don’t know if hard is the right word, but I was heavily debating whether to write it in or not because, (I think I stated this before) I don’t want to cross certain lines with the two just yet. This is a Naoya/Reader fic at the end of the day, and reader being with someone else that’s not of the main pairing is…. Well, idk how to say it, a trope that if not handled carefully might sour the story for me lol.

Ahhh, I still want the harem experience though 😂 I can’t seem to understand myself. We’ll see.

My initial notes portrayed Naoaki to be a bit more insistent on the… you know, implications given throughout the whole the grape feeding thing. I supposed it made sense he’d want something more since the two had been going at it for a while, however, I do not think he would’ve been that adamant after her initial rejection.

Sure, he’s been a bit more comfortable with her as days went by and there’s many things that already happened between the two to build a stronger trust, but this specific desire might be a bit too much in this context, so he respected her decision and stopped insisting.

Also, let’s be real, Y/N has too much in her mind to go through with it. She might think of it, cause she’s human at the end of the day and who doesn’t like being doted by a nice, kind and handsome person???, but all that Naoya has done to her is still taking a toll on her.

I haven’t explored much about this topic, but most sexual acts disgust her at this point—it brings her back to the moments she was absolutely miserable with him. So yeah, at least for now, we can rest knowing Naoaki and Y/N are occupied thinking of other things (for now, for now mwahahah)

From there, Mariya’s secret makes its return. It’s here that I realized this is probably the most Mariya has spoken of her relationship with anyone outside her parents (More on that later) thus… it’s only natural that someone would overhear of it eventually.

All things considered, perhaps Hitomi being the one to hear about this wasn’t as bad as literally anyone else, but it’s the emotional value of their connection that worries her!! Hitomi is very… strict when it comes to following the rules, looking up to Mariya as a role model because of such thing—she wishes to have her work ethic, her determination… And Mariya knows that. It’s why she feared telling anyone from her close coworkers to begin with.

Haruko would be somewhat ok with her having a relationship with a fellow employee, after overcoming her surprise of course, since she never, ever, imagined Mariya would break the rules lol. At the end, I imagine both sisters would be very supportive of her, just… not right away.

I find it funny how Hitomi was quick to become suspicious of Mariya as soon as Tatsuro was mentioned. It’s not the first time she’s heard her talk of a man, but rather… her use a tone that would be comparable to excitement. Now THAT’S suspicious.

But she’s unable to confront her since there really isn’t evidence of anything, it’s all in her mind right now. Also, Mariya isn’t known for being a so… yeah, still, very funny indeed. What do you think? Think she’s going to find out who Tatsuro is to Mariya? Or will that remain a secret 👀? (I don’t want Hitomi to know… I fear the reaction she’ll have :’) I actually wanted to develop more that whole scenario in this chapter, but it was getting a bit too long so I decided to postpone it ahaha)

Moving to something happier, Hitomi preparing Y/N a gift because she’s super thankful of her sweets?! Ajkajkgajkjga Her and her sister really couldn’t get any sweeter…. I want them to be happy, just go with Hinata and leave all this shit behind. 😭

Aw man, now I want to write something with all of them together, explore what kind of dynamics they would have and all that. (Well, I do have some pending one-shots… so who knows?)

Honestly these scenes are just excuses for me to live my slice-of-life, fluff fantasy in this nightmare I have written lol.

Now lastly, but not least… the mystery that plagued the last chapter… what the hell was Naoya doing the moment he briefly left Y/N on the record store? We only see him shove something in his pocket, but what is it?

Well, now it’s finally revealed… the thing he was hiding in his pocket was… a receipt! For the things that eventually got delivered to her :> Guess Naoya did pay attention to what Y/N was saying after all, although there’s another motive behind those gifts that will be revealed in the future. Oof, excited for what’s to come.

Y/N’s reaction regarding the discs was something I was the one thing I knew had to be in the chapter, if anything, all was written around that particular detail, there’s no doubt about that.

The way her reaction happened was the only way I envisioned it going down honestly 😂 blatant anger seemed to be… a bit too on the nose I guess, but if you think about it horror sometimes starts from there— So yeah, I couldn’t see her reacting any other way: Naoya has been nothing but piece of trash since they got married, and suddenly he cares for her and what she has to say? Naaahhhh.

It felt like a mockery to her, a way for him to taint whatever good memories she had of her family, so yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sad that she’s unable to react any other way 😣 wishing she wouldn’t have to get emotionally exhausted all the time, but in a place where she’s constantly attacked by everyone around her, and without the appropriate guidance to deal with her emotions, a completely different environment to the one she grew in… yeah, Y/N’s doing the best she can I guess.

Y/N’s decision (or more like approval via Mariya) regarding the relocation of the discs is one we’ll see further developed immediately in the next chapter, how it will affect her relationship with Naoya, as well as what he was doing during these days they didn’t speak to one another!

I’m really excited to post the next chapter, it’s one that I’ve been literally dreaming about!! I just hope I’ll be able to deliver. Agajkgvjkagja!!!!

Anyways, these are the notes I have for this chapter! They’re quite short, since it was straightforward and settled down some points that will affect the future of the story and I don’t think there is much for me to say outside what inspired me, but if there’s something I missed out on please let me know! I’ll do the best of my ability to respond ❤️

As always, thank you so much for coming back for another update! I’m eternally grateful for all of your support 😭❤️ I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

#thought series: first it hurts—

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sheepisreading · 2 years ago

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Books I finished in May 2023

Again, not a lot here but y’know.

Edit: forgot a book!

Super-Infinite: The Transformations of John Donne, Katherine Rundell, 2022

A book I just randomly picked up at the bookstore. I don’t know, I loved the Bill Bryson Shakespeare biography, and this seemed to be in a similar vein but more genuine than funny, which I appreciate. I was also attracted to the book because the idea of the renaissance man, concerned by all subjects of study, is always of interest to me. I’d never actually heard of John Donne, but after rading the book, I definitely understad why people write books about him. Katherine Rundell writes with such distinction and beauty about Donne, using excerpts of his writing and of other scholars’ writing, the whole book is a delight to read. You don’t even have to care one bit about John Donne to read it, I know I didn’t at the start, but I grew to thanks to the exquisite way Rundell tells us about his life. I recommend it !

A Certain Hunger, Chelsea G. Summers, 2020

This book I first heard from last year, bought it, and then proceded not to read it for a year. I just didn’t feel like it I guess. I finally picked it up because I had nothing else left to read at my student accomodation. It’s a book about a food writer who kills her lovers. She writes from prison (not a spoiler) and recounts how it all went down. I didn’t vibe with the overly serious food descriptions at first, but I got used to it as I read. It was kinda cool, it’s a contemporary setting too, and I don’t usually read murdery books, so it was a nice change of pace for me. I grew more attached to the narrator towards the end. She really grew on me, I found her a bit pretentious at first but she does show another more introspective and self aware view which warmed me up to her a lot. Basically, a good crime book!

Radical Intimacy, Sophie K. Rosa, 2023

This book was probably handed to me by the gods above. I say that because I read an old fanfic (here, it’s amazing (it’s also fall out boy fanfic be warned)) in like April in which radical intimacy as a concept is mentioned as basically relationship anarchy mixed with non monogamy and like sex and romantic gestures between friends. All of which I subscribe very very much to. I googled radical intimacy after reading it and immediately this book (which JUST came out) popped up! It’s amazing and basically full of everything I’ve always wanted to read on the topics of relationships (or all kinds)! It’s separated in chapters dealing with romance, sex, family, death, friendship under capitalism, and how relationships between people are the thing. As in the thing ever. And I could not agree more! Nonconformative relationships are precious to me and seeing them being spoken about so openly and true-ly was wonderful, especially put into perspective with politics! It’s like Rosa wrote my thoughts out (after doing some research and applying theory to them). I can not recommend this book enough!

#bookblr #books #bookish #book community #book review #chelsea g summers #sophie k rosa #a certain hunger #radical intimacy #katherine rundell #john donne #i guess

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mindymortondev · 2 years ago

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GameMaker Studio 2 or Godot?

In case google brings anyone here because of the title and they're looking for a recommendation, I can't give you much but feel free to keep reading, lol.

Anyways, it's been a second since I updated this blog. It was mainly due to spring break so I've not been working on this for a few weeks. Sort of...

I do have some stuff to show off which I will put in a separate post, but that's mainly some asset-creation things that should be interesting! But no, while it was spring break I did mess around with the project but not in a necessarily productive way (?), I guess you could call it a learning experience. I got to mess around with the Godot game engine.

What was I doing in Godot? Well just recreating the game from scratch, or trying to anyways. I might be insane. Part of me found this Godot engine very novel and exciting, plus it was the underdog so why not try it out?

It was a pretty overwhelming experience actually. Godot is a really awesome engine but I actually don't know if I believe it's necessarily as beginner-friendly as GameMaker Studio 2. This is just my personal experience, however, and I already have some experience with languages like javascript so GML just really clicked with me a little more right off the bat than GDscript did, although that's not to say the language itself was difficult for me to learn. On the contrary, GDscript's syntax was very beginner friendly.

Here's a snippet of some of my code that controls things like which way the sprite is facing, the gravity, friction, and acceleration. These things were very easy to implement in Godot, although it might be because I've already done it once in GameMaker.

I'd say the main thing that made Godot a little tricky for me was you have to use signals and hook up nodes to be able to have them communicate with each other. It took me a second to figure out how this works, which was a real headache while trying to recreate my camera system. Actually, the whole Godot version of my camera system really made me second-guess myself a lot and has kind of shot my confidence a little with Godot.

In general, I think there's a lot of really solid potential with Godot though. While there are far fewer resources, they are all consistently higher quality. And a lot of things are just naturally supported without coding compared to GMS 2. Here's a list of some of the more basic comparisons of how far my project has come:

Controller Support. Godot has built-in controller support and profile editing. This was basically a non-issue. GMS 2 doesn't do this natively but there is an AWESOME script called Input that did everything for me. It's basically even footing but props to Godot for supporting it natively.

Camera Limits. Godot's camera is just a lot more flexible out of the box, supporting things like lerping without needing to code anything nitty gritty and you don't have to code the camera to clamp to the room, because the camera has a limit property which you can just set in the inspector.

3D. Godot has proper 3D support. GMS 2 has 3D but frankly, it's just not made with 3D in mind.

So do I have a final opinion? Well, GameMaker Studio 2 just makes a little more sense to me so my project will likely continue prototyping in GMS 2. However, I really like Godot and want to learn it properly. It's very likely that once this academic year has ended, then I will take the time to do some smaller projects in Godot and really get used to it, and then continue developing Mindy Morton in it 😎

With that said, I'll see you next post with some new assets to show off!

#game design #video games #gamedev #original game #gamemaker studio 2 #godot #coding

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douglysium · 11 months ago

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Episode 11 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Episode 11 “Marked”

And we are back, baby. I’ve actually started writing this literally the second after I finished listening to the episode. I was originally planning to wait until the weekend to write this but I’ve become so excited I can’t help myself, and Rusty Quill has been on top of posting the transcripts when the episodes comes out.

As always, the episode is being told to us through some sort of device. In this case we cut to Celia via her phone. The transcripts make it clear what’s happening “A busy motorway nearby. CELIA is asleep on grass. She starts to make slightly distressed noises as she stirs. A lorry roars past nearby and she awakes with a start.” She obviously seems frustrated upon realizing something has happened again but she realizes something as she begins to pat herself down looking for her phone or some other (most likely communication) device.

CELIA

“(to herself) Yes! Ok, phone in the pocket works. She starts tapping the screen.”

CELIA

“(to herself) If it had signal. She sighs in helpless frustration.”

CELIA

“Shit.” She stretches and starts trudging off towards the motorway.

CELIA

“Hold on, Jack, I’m on my way.”

Celia probably comes from or has some relation to the TMA universe but what this entire situation has to do with it, if anything, is beyond me. I don’t know who Jack is and Celia implies that this entire situation has happened before. It is once again confirmed however that whatever is listening through all the electronic devices in TMP doesn’t need said devices to have wi-fi or internet connection to be able to do so. Which was further emphasized by the fact that it was capable of listening through a tape recorder last episode.

Now that I think about it, did Celia need the phone for communication or some other thing. It’s possible that she was trying to access something like a GPS or online map to figure out where she was or where to go but it’s unclear. I can’t say if Celia implying this has happened before means she has woken up at this exact spot or random areas in general. Considering her questions to Sam about multiversal and time travel I wonder if she attempted some sort of experiment which led to her appearing in this location. Is Celia trying to get somewhere in particular? Maybe she’s trying to get back to the TMA universe or maybe she’s trying to get somewhere new?

We cut to the OIAR offices via one of the computers. I consider the interaction we witness in this scene to be another enlightening one about some of the possible dynamics at play in the OIAR workplace. Alice clearly cares strongly about Sam and they like to tease each other a lot. Sam seems a bit down about finding no clues about the Magnus Institute and Alice tries to cheer Sam up. The two talk about where Celia and Gwen are but neither knows where they are. It makes sense that they would wonder since Gwen seems like a stickler for rules and it seems weird that about half the people working in this office have disappeared with no notice. Gwen brought Sam and Celia coffee while also mentioning “I’ve got a mocha for Celia and I was really looking forward to pretending I “accidentally” forgot to order Gwen anything.” Once again, highlighting how antagonistic their relationship is and how Alice can go beyond just simple teasing and towards just being outright hostile or mean toward Gwen.

Alice seems extremely nervous and mentions “ just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me.” Sam jokes “Sounds like maybe you were more bothered by that “soggy ruin” than you admit.” but Alice asks him not to joke about it, which shows that she’s extremely rattled. This level of fear from being watched sort of parallels the Institute in TMA with how Jon was scared from a feeling of being watched in the Institute. In MAG 39 (Infestation) Jon says “Because I’m scared, Martin!. Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched.” However, it’s clear that what Alice is probably feeling is related to whatever escaped from the Institute in the last episode. I wonder if that being is somehow connected to The Eye. It is an Entity connected to both the fear of being watched and even followed or stalked. Not to mention the creature came from the Institute, a faction that was at least aligned with The Eye in TMA.

However, there’s an argument that this could just as easily be something related to The Spiral, Stranger, Hunt, or some other Entity entirely. The Institute had dealings with all kinds of Entities, not just The Eye. The most obvious example of this is their Artifact Storage, which collected objects connected to various Entities. So it’s possible this is some other Entity’s Monster or Avatar that was being sealed and / or researched. Considering all the alchemical undertones I even have to wonder if it’s some sort of artificial creation like some kind of homunculus.

Sam offers to walk with Alice home, to which she appreciates, and they get to work categorizing their statements. We follow the statement that Sam is listening to as exposited by CHESTER.

This statement comes from emails being sent from Gordon J to Alison Leshi regarding “Padstow civil cemetery exhumations.” In case you don’t know, an exhumation is “the action of digging up something buried, especially a corpse.” Gordon starts off by explaining to Alison that everything is going as planned, despite the sudden cold snap, due to proper planning. He also says “We also did some load testing of the ground near the cliff edge, and it looks like there’s only a few graves where the erosion means we won’t be able to use the Bobcat, and that’s few enough that my boys can do that by hand.” The first few days of this project have gone smoothly and David, their medical examiner, seems happy with their precautions.

Gordon mentions “with all the precautions we’re taking, and while we’ve certainly had our fair share of lookie-loos, there’s not been any sign of the protestors you were so concerned about stirring up. I guess it helps that no-one’s been buried here for over a hundred years, so it’s not like we’re pulling up granddad. The sailors sleeping here haven’t seen mourners since Queen Vic.” I think Gordon raising the possibility that there could be protestors is interesting. I wonder if it’s simply the fact that people might be upset at the destruction of these graves or if there’s some other reason? For example, someone might see it as an important historical site or maybe they view this project as harming the environment in some way? If you want a more supernatural reason, it could be that someone is afraid that disturbing the site could anger someone / something?

Gordon gets more personal and talks about how this job means a lot to them. They say “I know we can’t have been the cheapest company to put in a bid, but as local lads we’ve been coming to this graveyard all our lives (even if just to sneak some booze as stupid teenagers), and now that the cliff’s finally giving up the ghost (if you’ll pardon the pun), it feels right for us to be the ones taking it apart.” I looked up the phrase “giving up the ghost” and it seems like it can refer to “to stop trying to do something because you know that you will not succeed.”

Gordon says they’ll get back to Alison when the job is done but they send an email earlier than expected due to some unforeseen circumstances, and apparently David told Gordon to update Alison on the circumstances despite the fact that Gordon thinks it shouldn’t throw off their current schedule. They encountered some human remains that seem like they are in quite good condition. “...for context, the containers they’re buried in are of really varied quality. I’d say just under half were buried in decent coffins that are still in good enough shape to remove and transport unopened. For others though, the wood has rotted to the point where it’s pretty much impossible to keep the boxes together and some were just wrapped in oil cloth. This means we’re seeing, touching and moving a lot of human remains directly. Don’t worry, this isn’t about a health and safety thing – we have all the right gear and David’s making sure we follow procedure. It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been. Or at least, most of the skin was in extremely good condition. The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon. It was really impressive.” Take note of the tattoo since this isn’t the first time we’ve encountered a complex and very visually impressive tattoo in TMP and it’s going to come up again in this very episode.

David says that they need a second opinion and some tests since if the bodies have been buried more recently than 1908 it would mean that the cemetery is technically a crime scene for legal reasons. Gordon also mentions that the graves have been getting to him with “I’ll be honest though, I’m glad of the break. Taking up all these graves is starting to get to me a bit. I almost feel sorry for doing it. The waves are so close and getting closer. If I were a sailor buried here, I’d take some comfort in that. As you can see I’m getting morbid. Short break will do us all some good I think. Will update you when I hear word.” These feelings seem like they could relate to either The Vast, The Buried, or The End with the themes of coffins and being buried in a grave potentially tying into The Buried or End but the vast ocean possibly connecting to The Vast. But let’s keep going.

David starts acting weird and Gordon asks Alison to give David a nudge for the sake of the project. “He’s still working on that body we found and he’s stopped responding to my emails. I got him on the phone, but to be honest he doesn’t sound like he’s in any real rush to complete the job and while he’s worrying about salt water and tattoos, we’re out here sat on our hands and I’m paying the lads by the day. It’s almost enough to make you dream of sailing away for real. Like that poor fella’s tattoo. Saying that, I had another look at the photos David attached and I’m starting to think I might have been wrong about it. When I first looked, I thought it was hopeful, a crew sailing towards the sunrise. But looking again, the sun is lower than I thought, and there’s a shape in the water behind the ship. I think they’re being chased by something. Creepy eh?” So Gordon’s dream of sailing away could potentially point to The Lonely, especially given that the Entity also has a connection to the ocean and ships with Peter Lukas and the Tundra, but the whole being chased could relate to The Hunt. While Entities do chase things all the time I could see the fear of sharks or some large sea creature attempting to chase you as potentially relating to The Hunt. However, it could also potentially relate to The Vast with the idea of something massive lurking in the water, like a kraken or whale. There’s also an argument for something like The Dark with something emerging in the night as the sun sets. Well, assuming that the sun in the tattoo is setting and not rising.

And here’s where the tattoo thing comes up again. Gordon says “Oh, and speaking of tattoos, you remember you wanted an update on local sentiment about the move? Well, I don’t know if this counts as resistance – hell, I don’t even know if they’re local – but there’s someone started poking around the site asking questions. Big snake tattoo up their arm and a bunch of other ink. Wouldn’t give their name, but claims to be a big deal “online”. Don’t really know what that means, but they’ve been asking questions about the body.” The person with the “big snake tattoo” up their arm has a description that almost perfectly matches Ink5 from episode 2 (Making Adjustments). When Daria describes Ink5oul (Pronounced Inksoul) she notes that they had “an absolutely gorgeous floral serpent design running up their arm and into their neck that was so vivid it looked ready to slither off their skin and onto the chair.” It’s clear that Ink5 probably has an interest in tattoos, like the one Gordon saw on the body. This person also mentions that they are a big deal online, which would be true if this is Ink5 since we know that Ink5 is a famous tattoo artist online and even does streams. This could even explain why the person in question didn’t give their name since if it was Ink5 we are only aware of their online username. Gordon even mentions that Ink5 said “...the tattoo is an “Oscar Jarrett”, and that’s a big deal to some folks in that community – something to with Sutherland Macdonald whoever that is. Dunno if that’s quite what you were worried about but thought you’d want to know.”

`I did some light research and Oscar Jarrett doesn’t seem like a style or type of tattoo. Which points to the idea that Oscar is a person. Considering all the tattoos we are saying Oscar might be comparable to Smirke in some ways. In the sense that in the same way there was special Smirkean architecture there could be special Jarettian tattoos if that makes any sense. Tattoos that are designed to have supernatural effects of some kind. It’s also possible that Oscar simply learned and taught some kind of supernatural technique, kind of like the techniques that The Boneturner’s Tale could grant someone in TMA or how Martin sort of ended up learning how to “disappear” by following Peter Lukas’ attempt to connect him to The Lonely. Oscar Jarrett and Ink5 are definitely people to look out for in the future. Sutherland Macdonald surprisingly did yield actual search results. He is apparently “a prominent English tattoo artist in the late 19th century and early 20th century, and the first tattooist in Britain with an identifiable premises open to the public.” This makes Sutherland notable for the same reason someone like Smirke might have been in TMA. A historical figure who somehow learned and / or spread knowledge about the Entities. Again, it’s possible that there are Macdonald style tattoos in the same way there is Smirke style architecture. It could also be that the Oscar Ink5 is referring to is in fact the body with the tattoo that Gordon found and Gordon just doesn’t know what they are referring to. It could also be that there are multiple tattoo artists or Oscar is some student or follower of Sutherland in the same way people like Jonah, Maxwell Rayner, and Mordechai Lukas all had a connection to Smirke via being students or associates. In some characters even explicitly got the idea of possible rituals from Smirke and his research, despite the fact that most weren’t concerned with Smirke’s ideals of balancing the Powers.

Gordon considers calling the police on Ink5 due to how much the tattoo artist seems to be creeping Gordon and their team out but Gordon decides not to as to avoid potential backlash from the public. Gordon’s next email involves him giving condolences in regards to David, which implies that the reason he was taking so long with the reports was due to an untimely death at some point. I wonder if David’s death was related to something he came across on the bodies? It could be that there was some artifact or one of the bodies was actually alive? It could also be that if something is indeed up with the tattoos then the tattoos themselves may have had some sort of effect on David? Did Ink5 kill David? Was David the person Mr. Bonzo was sent to target in order to create some sort of opening for Ink5?

Gordon apologizes for the perceived unprofessionalism and says “My thoughts and opinions on maritime matters will no longer be included in my emails. In addition, I should be most grateful if you could see fit to provide myself with appropriate authorisations to contact the medical examiner’s offices to follow up with the cadaver that has been causing such consternation.” Based on Gordon’s next email it seems like Alison thought Gordon was making fun of them or acting condescending since Gordie states “Look, I was not “making fun of you” but I’m not sure what you want. I’m emailing an employer about my work and am getting accused of my emails being “unprofessional”. That’s the best I can manage. I haven’t been sleeping much recently. Weird dreams. Shapes in the water and that. And before you say that it’s “unprofessional” to tell you that I’m just giving an explanation, That’s all. I need you to contact the examiner again, he’s dragging his feet. Besides, I want to see the body again. I dug him up, he’s my responsibility. I just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” Considering the possible change in behavior I wonder if Alison encountered something that made them scared and afraid of people not taking them seriously. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alison and / or David get their own statements in the future.

Gordon also mentions a lack of sleep due to “Weird dreams. Shapes in the water and that.” and also mentions “Besides, I want to see the body again. I dug him up, he’s my responsibility. I just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” This desire to know and see something actually parallels an Entity like The Eye. The Eye, as I end up saying in every article, isn’t merely the fear of being watched but also being the watcher or seeing something you don’t want to. In MAG 200 The Eye is mentioned as having been born from the fear of one’s eyes showing them too much, and Gertrude mentions that The Eye is connected to a desire to know and understand even if in trying to do so you get hurt in the process. These themes also explain why Jonah can force information into the heads of people like Melanie and Martin. It’s the idea of knowing too much or being forced to witness things. Due to this The Eye also has a connection to, and tendency for cultivating, curiosity. Jonah mentions doing so to Jon with certain statements and we know he purposefully left files and information out to stoke Rosie’s more “nosy” personality traits. The Institute itself also sort of acts like bait for The Eye by attracting people looking for answers or closure via the information in its Archives or statements. Jon can also force people to give statements and thus make them relive and recount terrible events so that he can listen to them.

I’m bringing this up now because while I don’t think that what Gordon is going through is connected to The Eye the themes I am talking about will come up later anyway. Entities like The Eye also like to try to prey on the curiosity of people. I’m not saying Gordon is unjustified in being curious (even if I do find some of the behavior obviously strange) but that certain Entities have a precedent for preying on certain emotions or behaviors (like the desire to chase for The Hunt or anger for The Slaughter. No matter how justified that behavior may or may not be doesn’t always matter). You could also potentially relate some other parts of the statement to themes of The Eye. Most notably, the fear that protestors or other people might be observing the dig site, and the fear of being judged by the public. You could even point to Gordon sharing “too much” info to Alison with all the weird thoughts he’s having. Well, Alison seems to not like it, I’m not trying to say Gordon is crossing any sort of technical line or is even unjustified.

Gordon’s next email is titled “Examiner’s office break in” and Gordon insists that it was not him who broke into the examiner’s office and that Ink5 did it. “I saw them hanging around the office when I was waiting. Waiting so long just to see it, just to know what’s in the water. And they took it. They think they’re smart, but I saw them I know where they’re staying and if they think they deserve it they’re wrong. It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray. It’s waiting in the water.” Once again a desire to know what’s in the water and the fact that Gordon is defensive of the idea that they might have broken into the office shows that Gordon is afraid what they said earlier about wanting to obtain the bodies might paint them as a suspect. The statement ends with

To: Alison Leshi ([email protected])

From: Gordon J ([email protected])

Date: January 20th 2020.

Subject: Re: Re: Examiner’s office

break-in

There was a problem delivering your

message to “[email protected]”

This email address is no longer in

service.

This statement is a little interesting because it feels like a lot of the stuff is more passive or in the background. For example, while Gordon is perturbed, Ink5 doesn’t attack or tattoo them directly. Gordon’s thoughts and feelings about the water could connect to various Entities. Most notably, all the water stuff could connect to the Vast, Buried, or Lonely. All 3 of these Entities have a notable connection to either water or the ocean. The Vast via the fear of large things with the immensity of the ocean as well as the things the could be in it, The Buried with the feeling of drowning or being trapped / crushed underwater, and The Lonely via boating and how isolated being alone on the open ocean can make you. Gordon’s desire to sail away could relate to The Lonely or The Vast while his comment about wanting to be Buried in the graveyard could be connected to well… The Buried. Not to mention his desire to put the supposed corpse back where it belongs, in the grave, could also relate to The Buried.

If I had to pick the most likely Entities here I would argue The Buried and Vast. If I had to chose between the two I would have to say the Buried. The Vast does have an emphasis on the depp ocean, and Simon Fairchild even attempted to perform a ritual using a submarine and the deep ocean, but Gordon’s desire to bury the bodies seems at least somewhat similar to Hezekiah Wakely in MAG 152 (A Gravedigger’s Entity) and his desire to make sure that people stay in their graves. In the statement Hezekiah mentions “To my mind there are far worse fates. But he has in his head an idea to begin fitting the graves I dig with these new “safety bells” that he has heard of, so that any as might be alive below ground might signal us above for rescue. I dread the idea. If it had been me in that coffin, destined for the peace below ground, I can think of little that I would hate more than the jarring, clanging of a bell pulling me from my rest.” and he also mentions weird dreams with “I had a dream, then. I dreamt a rain had come. A terrible bitter rain that chilled my bones and turned the soil around me dark and sodden. The walls grew damp and slippery, their firm shape lost as they began to slip and crumble. And then all at once they collapsed, the grave filling in a moment with a wave of mud and wet dirt. In a single terrible moment of utter terror, it was atop and around me, covering my face and filling my lungs with its awful choking sod.”

While the emphasis on the deep could easily relate to The Vast, one of The Buried’s nicknames is actually “Forever Deep Below.” So someone referring The Buried as “The Deep” or something similar would not be without precedent, especially given its connection to drowning, being trapped underwater, and deep water in general. Gordon also says “It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray.” which could imply that in a way they believe the ocean will bury everything. You could easily relate some of this to The Vast with the idea that the ocean has existed longer and will outlast the erosion of the land.

One part I actually really liked in TMA, despite how little it came up overall, is all the different names people would use to refer to the same Entity(s). So I wonder if, assuming the existing Entities are around in some capacity, Entities like The Buried will be referred to with different names in the Protocol universe. It wouldn’t surprise me if people started referring to an Entity like The Buried as “The Deep” for example due to the idea of being trapped deep underground or in the ocean.

Like always, there are some overlapping themes that seem similar to other Entities. The tattoo possibly depicting sailors getting chased could relate to The Hunt, I already mentioned some possibilities with The Eye, and the emphasis on graves, and dead bodies could parallel The End.

Ink5's appearance in this statement is forcing me to consider some things. I maintain that the statement in episode 2 screams “This is The Flesh”, or at least something similar to that Entity, and I believed Ink5 to be connected to The Flesh. But I remember someone also raising the idea that the effects of Ink5 tattoos could vary, which I considered a very likely possibility since Ink5 doesn’t start tattooing until they are inspired by Daria mentioning that they are an artist. Implying that Ink5 was working off of inspiration and what they make and potentially even the effects of the tattoos could vary from person to person. If this is true that could mean Ink5 is more like Smirke and isn’t directly connected to (or loyal to) a single Entity, or Ink5 could be connected to multiple Entities somehow. Maybe the specific tattoo they gave Daria was connected to The Flesh in the same way Smirke’s architecture was connected to the Entities in a way Smirke himself wasn’t always. It’s still very possible that Ink5 somehow is connected to The Flesh but is also capable of interacting with aspects of other Entities somehow.

We cut back to the OIAR office and Sam also notices the topic of tattoos having come up again and asks Alice if there is a way to cross reference cases.

ALICE

“And? You already know the page to check the scores.”

SAM

“Yeah… but I just thought it might be worth noting somewhere that they might be linked. There’s this tattooist, and I think they might be”

ALICE

“What have I told you about thinking?”

SAM

“Don’t?”

ALICE

“That’s right.” Alice sighs.

ALICE

“(cont.) I don’t think there’s any way to mark cases as connected. They all come in standalone, that’s just how it works.”

Once again Alice’s whole “don’t think about it” vibe. I would argue the whole idea of “ignorance is bliss” and how knowing too much can hurt or scare you often relates to The Eye. I would argue that the OIAR or the computers are probably connected to The Eye, given all the statements and other stuff I mentioned previously, but I’m not saying Alice or Sam are secret Eye Avatars or something. What I'm trying to say is that The Eye likes to prey on certain behaviors, such as curiosity or a desire for answers, and Alice and Sam might have these traits. We know, for example, that Jon and Tim both ended up at the Institute because they were looking for answers about an encounter they had previously.

Alice sighing and then proceeding to honestly indulge Sam’s question is interesting and I think is another implication that Alice is probably more curious than she lets on. Realistically, she has probably been burned from having a similar mindset to Sam or seeing someone else asking too many questions but she consistently ends up indulging Sam’s curiosity or giving honest answers anyway, instead of simply shutting it down and moving on. There have also been times where Alice is noted as listening to something in the transcripts “despite herself.” Implying that sometimes she can’t help herself or her curiosity gets the better of her.

All the cases being sent in standalone sort of parallels the Institute in TMA and how disorganized the Archives were when Jon was using them (due to Gertrude). Even in TMA the statements would sometimes have recurring characters but they weren’t organized by topic or people involved in the case. The most we tend to get about the organization system of the statements is that it’s usually just sorted by date (which could be confusing if two statements have the same date) and sometimes follow-ups on cases were performed for more info and context. So obtuse organization systems that make it harder to connect various details or events aren’t unusual for TMA.

I also once again have to wonder if Sam is being shown certain events on purpose in order to stoke his curiosity or to get him to do certain things. I find the idea that literally every statement is random to be dubious but that doesn’t mean literally every statement is handpicked. Which makes me wonder, once again, what Sam and co’s jobs are meant to accomplish. Are they just supposed to be “an archive of fear” and witness terrible events or someone someone / something doing anything with the information or statements they are given or categorize?

Gwen enters the room and she seems to be in pretty bad shape since Alice says “Christ on a peddlebike, what happened to you?” and Gwen says “(setting up at her desk) Tube was delayed. Points failure.” Gwen also mentions that she had trouble sleeping, but Alice doesn’t seem to waste any time making fun of Gwen despite Gwen’s sorry state. Alice doesn’t seem to spare Gwen any of the concern she has shown characters like Sam and Colin. Sam tries to get Alice to ease up on Gwen but Alice doesn’t seem to let off the ribbing. Gwen eventually notices the third coffee Alice had gotten for Celia but mistakenly assumes that the third cup of coffee was for her.

GWEN

“(cont’d) (surprised) Hang on, did you get me a coffee?”

ALICE

“Uhh…

SAM

“Yeah. You like mocha?”

GWEN

“Yes. She takes the coffee carefully.’

GWEN

“Thank you, Alice.’

ALICE

“I… Sure. Whatever. Don’t get used to it. A slightly awkward silence.’

This interaction makes me wonder about some of the aspects of their relationship. Celia bursts into the room and Gwen grills her for being late (despite the irony of Gwen herself running late).

CELIA

“Sorry, sorry! I know, I know – there was an emergency at home I had to I’m sorry I’m late!”

GWEN

“Do you have any idea what the time is?”

ALICE

“I’m sorry, are you joking right now?”

GWEN

“I have responsibilities now, Alice. I need more of an explanation than just a “home emergency”.”

ALICE

“You arrived literally one minute ago!”

GWEN

“And I gave a full explanation for my lateness. Which, I might add, I didn’t actually need to do for a subordinate.’

CELIA

“It’s fine really’

ALICE

“No, it’s not. You don’t owe her anything! In fact, you should take her coffee as reparation.’

CELIA

“One of my radiators sprung a leak and flooded the lounge.’

GWEN

“I see. Well that’s understandable but don’t let’s make a habit of it shall we?”

CELIA

“Of course.’

GWEN

“See, that wasn’t so painful, was it Alice?’

Alice takes a breath for a devastating putdown.

SAM

“Let it go.”

ALICE

exhales and sips her coffee instead.

GWEN

“Luckily, I don’t think Lena’s noticed, so you should be ok. She’s not as laid back as I am.”

Alice chokes a little.

CELIA

“Good to know.”

GWEN

“Great, well if that’s everything you all really should get to work otherwise you’ll never get out of here. Don’t let me keep you.”

ALICE

“(muttered) I’d like to see you try…”

GWEN

“(already departing) I’ll be in Lena’s office if you need me. She walks off.”

CELIA

“You ok, Alice? It honestly doesn’t bother me.”

ALICE

“I can’t believe she drank your mocha!”

So it kind of seems like Gwen is immediately letting her new promotion go to her head a bit and has already taken the role of a stern boss. However, based on Gwen’s reaction when talking with Lena later and how shaken she is from Mr. Bonzo, it’s very likely that this is Gwen’s way of coping or trying to deal with stress and fear (not that it’s at all healthy). Gwen’s behavior seems to rub Alice the wrong way, especially since it easily comes off as hypocritical since Gwen was also running late. The only difference being that Gwen is now Celia’s superior. This whole situation makes me wonder if any particular person is specifically at fault for Gwen and Alice’s sour relationship. Sure, Alice does come off as extremely mean to Gwen but I wonder if Gwen did something in particular, tried to strong arm Alice, or something else.

Gwen does appreciate the hypothetical gesture of Alice buying her coffee and it’s weird that despite all their bickering Gwen seems to immediately assume that the fact the coffee is for her and from Alice is a likely possibility. I wonder if Gwen has a different view of their relationship or just doesn’t care? In a previous episode Gwen mentions that Alice left “talkers” on to mess with her but I wonder if Alice simply left the statements running so she wouldn’t have to listen to the voices talking and Gwen merely assumed it had to do with her. This could point to the possibility that Gwen has a bad habit of assuming things are about her sometimes or even being a bit self-centered but I’m not sure. It is still possible Alice did in fact leave talkers to mess with her. I wonder if they had a more amicable relationship in the past? I also if Gwen does genuinely think of herself as being more lenient or forgiving than Lena and, by extension, sees herself as tossing Celia a bone.

Gwen leaves the others to their work and goes to talk with Lena. Gwen is clearly upset by her encounter with Mr. Bonzo. Gwen insists that the thing she saw couldn’t have been Mr. Bonzo because Bonzo is just a character played by a guy in a suit. Not to mention that the Mr. Bonzo at Nigel’s house apparently had skin, and appeared both sagging and sweaty. Lena assures Gwen that this was in fact Mr. Bonzo by saying “...He is one of our Externals” and “I’ll grant you that Mr. Bonzo is one of our more… obviously grotesque Externals but I assure he is a valued asset.” This implies that not all the Externals the OIAR works with are as monstrous as Mr. Bonzo. Which could mean that the organization works with various Avatars and Monsters, or at least some of the Monsters they do work with are more humanoid (similar to how the Distortion took on the appearance and personalities of people like Michael and Helen).

GWEN

I thought he was going to kill me!

LENA

“But he didn’t, which means you’ve passed the first part of your probation. Congratulations. Did you scream?”

GWEN

“What? No!”

LENA

“You should. It really helps one cope with the more affronting aspects of the job. And they usually like it.”

GWEN

“What was in that envelope I gave him?”

LENA

“A name and an address.”

GWEN

“But for who?”

LENA

“I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.”

GWEN

“I don’t understand.”

LENA

“Yes, you do.”

GWEN

“But… why?”

LENA

““Why” comes later. For now, it’s best you try to process the “what”. I’ll let you know when I have another liaison assignment for you.”

GWEN

“(defeated) I… Ok.”

Gwen opens the door.

LENA

“Oh, and Gwen?”

GWEN

“Yes?”

LENA

“Get some sleep. You look dreadful. Gwen closes the door.”

So here, Lena outright admits that Gwen could’ve died. Last episode I wondered if Nigel apologized to Gwen in case Gwen ended up hurt or killed. Lena’s comment about screaming confirms once again that the Entities are probably still feeding off of fear. We know from TMA that while a lack of fear can keep you safe, displaying fear only for it to wane overtime can cause the Entities followers or monsters to get bored or unsatisfied and just attack you directly if they know that doing so will make you scared.

The fact that Lena says that Gwen should know who’s address and name was in the letter given to Bonzo makes me wonder. It’s possible Lena knows that Gwen simply checked the letter out of curiosity or came across some statement with clues. It’s also possible that at least some of the statements the OIAR gets are somehow related to the organization’s Externals. Lena even says “I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.” Which could imply that at least some of the statements Gwen and her coworkers (I mean subordinates) sift through could have to do with the OIAR’s externals. Maybe it’s the OIAR’s way of following up on their agents or checking the results of their assignments? Or maybe it’s how the OIAR decides where and when to send their Externals? It could also just be The Eye feeding off of the fear present in statements again (something we know it’s prone to do). It could be that the Externals do their job and The Eye or some other Entity squeezes some extra fear out of what they do by archiving things related to the job. Is the OIAR working with others to try to start another mass ritual, or is it trying to stop possible rituals? Maybe their goal has something to do with some of the alchemical symbols present in TMP (such as the logo)?

Lena comes off as extremely cold in this interaction and it’s clear that Lena’s earlier assessment of Gwen might be right, Gwen is not at all prepared for this and doesn’t exactly know what she’s getting into. But this also makes me wonder what happened to the previous Externals Liaison. Did they die? Did they get promoted / demoted? Are there other Liaisons Gwen hasn’t met yet? If there aren’t who was communicating with things like Mr. Bonzo before Gwen took the position? Was Lena just delivering the letters herself? As always, there’s a lot of questions.

Conclusion

There’s a lot of stuff up in the air but currently whatever is going on with the Externals has grabbed my curiosity the most. Mostly in regards to what they could be doing and why. Is Ink5 an External? Was Mr. Bonzo sent to take care of David to make an opening for Ink5 or was Mr. Bonzo sent somewhere else that will show up in a later statement? Most of the stuff I say are possibilities I’m raising but my current guesses about what’s going on are 1. Smirke’s 14 is still around in some capacity (The Extinction could be too, but there’s no evidence one way or the other for that Entity being around) and these Entities are probably the same ones from TMA (if not they are extraordinarily similar) 2. Celia is probably from the TMA universe or at least has some connection to it 3. The OIAR is probably connected to an Entity like The Eye 4. For whatever reason the OIAR (and potentially other parts of the government) are working with various factions tied to the Entities. Whether they are using these monsters and people to fight more dangerous threats or for some other reason I cannot say. Maybe they are trying to set up a new ritual where all the Entities hold equal power? Or maybe they are actually trying to stop future rituals / threats? Who knows.

#TMA #TMAGP #The Magnus Archives #The Magnus Protocol #Theory

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an-aroaces-harem · 1 year ago

Text

Ivy Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

Ivy: Next song too, huh?

Ivy-san laughed weakly. His listless appearance differed from his usual gently and dependable appearance.

(What's wrong?)

Rina: Um ... Ivy-san?

Ivy: Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a little fuzzy. It's nothing.

Ivy: Anyway, thanks for delivering the papers. I'll take it.

(Oh, I hadn't given them to him yet!)

I hurriedly pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Ivy-san.

Ivy: Thank you.

He quickly looked over the documents.

(Very serious expression ...)

Perhaps noticing my gaze, he looks up and smiles.

Ivy: You seem to be interested in it. Do you want to see?

Rina: Is that okay?

Ivy: I don't care. You're part of the staff.

Ivy: These are offers that come for exe.

Rina: Eh, all of this!?

Ivy: Oh. Collaborations with foreign artists and requests to perform at music festivals. That kind of thing.

I skim over the documents he shows me.

(All the names of famous festivals and artists even I know.)

(I can't believe they get so many super-sized offers like this. I knew exe was on a different level ...!)

Ivy: As you know, exe is all about self-production.

Ivy: We'll all decide whether or not to accept the offer, but first I'm going to do my homework on the job that's coming our way.

Ivy: Then I share it with the members, and we all look at it from different angles, and then we make the final decision.

(Come to think of it, I've heard that you also take care of the clerical work behind the scenes. So this is what it was all about.)

He says it plainly, but data collecting is a painstaking process.

(While keeping up with his busy schedule as an idol, he also takes lessons and trains.)

(And to write high quality songs in such a short span of time, and to do this kind of work on top of that ... he's a little too busy.)

(I'm afraid that Ivy-san's body is getting tired of it ...)

The way he looked at me earlier made me worry.

Rina: Umm ... I think it would be better to ask the others to help you.

Rina: I think it's a little too much of a burden for Ivy-san.

I know it's a bit forward of me, but I just said it like that.

Ivy: I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine.

Ivy-san smiles at me ... but then says that firmly.

Ivy: And the other members have their own things to do.

Ivy: Xeno does the directing, Jace is doing makeup and costumes, and Finn and Hugh are doing choreography and training.

Ivy: Each member does what only they can do ... so it's my job to do this.

He may be a responsible leader who cares about his members.

But ... after seeing the shadowy expression on your face earlier, I'm worried.

I also remembered that I felt something strange about him at the concert the other day.

(The reason why Ivy-san's smile looked different from usual at that time might be because he was too exhausted ...)

As soon as I thought that, I opened my mouth.

Rina: Ivy-san, please allow me to assist you in previewing that offer.

Ivy: What!? Why?

Rina: I'm worried about you, Ivy-san.

If it's so bad that it diminishes your brilliance on stage, it's not something that can be ignored. And ...

Rina: I've had a lot of help from you in the past days.

Rina: From the day I arrived at the apartment, you were so kind to me ... it was really reassuring.

He was the only one who was kind to me when I was anxious.

(He showed me materials, recommended me to help with the distribution ... and gave me gifts.)

Rina: So if there's anything I can do to help, please let me. I want to return the favor.

Ivy: I'm glad you feel that way, but I'm sorry. You're too busy.

Ivy-san seemed puzzled by my passionate words.

Ivy: First of all, you don't owe me anything. I just did what I had to do.

Rina: I'm not exaggerating! You really helped me.

I can't tell you how many times your words of encouragement have helped me.

(I was saved by Ivy-san's kindness many times just in this short period of time.)

(I feel so much safer when I'm around this person ...)

Ivy: No, but ...

Rina: Please, I'll do anything anything to reduce Ivy-san's workload ...!

I was so eager to help him that I even said something like that.

Ivy: ... Anything?

Rina: Yes!

Ivy: ...

Ivy-san makes a gesture as if he's pondering something.

Ivy: Well, then ...

His beautiful eyes flicker slightly, and then he suddenly takes a step closer.

Rina: !?

As the distance between us closes, his eyes, always softly colored, turn earnestly toward me.

Ivy: Stay put and don't move ...

I couldn't move as if I were tied up. I watched breathlessly as he reached for me.

(What are you ...?)

Ivy: Kawanaga-san.

Rina: Ah ...

The sweet, magical voice spun from his shapely lips made my heart race.

He reached out and gently placed his hand on my head.

A large hand lightly touched it, and then my head was caressed with both hands.

Rina: Wah ...

Ivy: You're so sweet ... to care for me like that. I'm glad.

Rina: Ah, Ivy-san!?

When I looked up in surprise, he was looking at me with bright eyes.

Ivy: Haha, I'm sorry. I'm kind of happy.

(This is the third time having my head patted ... but this one feels a little different from the other times ...)

He had been gently so far, but the way he just did it was like he was ...

Ivy: Finn wasn't so wrong about what he said before.

He laughs mischievously.

Rina: What do you mean ...?

Ivy: I'm talking about you being like a dog or cat. You're like an honest, healthy little animal.

Ivy: When I do this, it's very calming.

As soon as he said that, his hands mixed my hair again.

Rina: Oh, wait a minute!

Ivy: Hehe, so cute and cuddly.

Laughing happily, Ivy-san strokes my head.

(Really, he's treating me like a cat or dog!? Ivy-san is even talking like Finn-san.)

While I was frozen, not knowing how to react, my hair was being crumpled up ...

(Oh my god ...!)

Rina: Ivy-san!

... In my confusion, I just screamed.

Ivy: !

At that moment, he stopped and widened his eyes in shock.

(Oh s-shoot!)

Rina: I'm sorry. I was just shouting ...

Ivy: Ah no, it was me ... I got a little carried away. I'm sorry.

My hair was a little messy, and Ivy-san hurriedly fixed it.

Ivy: You don't like being treated like a cat or dog. I'm sorry.

Rina: I was surprised, but I hope it cheered you up.

Ivy: You're very kind. Thank you.

Ivy: But it was wrong of me to overdo it. I'll be more careful from now on.

Rina: I've asked that before but am I really that much like a cat or dog?

When I asked him this, he stared at me.

Ivy: I thought so but ... when you were mad at me earlier, you looked more like my sister.

Rina: Sister?

Ivy: She used to scold me like you just did.

Ivy: She would huff out his cheeks and say "Oh my god, onii-chan!"

He looked so kind as he squinted his eyes at me.

Perhaps this is Ivy-san's expression as a 'big brother'.

(I bet he really loves his sister.)

The shadows that had been there just a few minutes ago had completely disappeared.

(I've been told I'm like a cat or dog, or that I look like his sister. I don't mind it, but it's kind of weird ...)

I wonder what kind of person Ivy-san's sister is, who has been mentioned many times.

Rina: How old is your sister?

Ivy-san's eyes were a little downcast and he looked as if he was thinking.

Ivy: Probably around the same age as you.

Rina: I see. Does her face resemble yours?

Ivy: Well, I don't know. I've been told we look alike.

Rina: I'm sure she's a strong person because she only scolds Ivy-san.

Ivy: She was often angry with me, especially when I was naughty.

The way he talks about his family shows that they're close siblings.

Then, Ivy-san coughed.

Ivy: Actually, I was feeling a little stuck until just now. But after talking to you, I feel much lighter. It's a wonder.

Then, he says resignedly.

Ivy: I'm just wondering ... when I'm tired, can I ask for your help again?

Ivy: For example, like patting your head like before.

Rina: Eh?

Ivy: Oh, no, I'm sorry for asking you to do something weird. I know I said I wouldn't treat you like a cat or dog anymore, but it's contradicting.

Ivy: But when I stroked your head, I felt so much calmer.

With a tense expression on his face, Ivy-san was staring at me.

For some reason, his serious eyes make my heart skip a beat.

Rina: ... I don't mind at all. If you can think of me that way, I'm happy for you.

Rina: I'm willing to do it whenever you need my head.

Ivy: !

Ivy: Thank you ...!

When I answered with a sense of embarrassment, Ivy-san laughed at me.

The way he looks at me is much gentler than it was at first.

I was happy to feel like we had become a little closer.

... And then.

The studio was only occupied by two people, but then I heard someone enter.

And ...

Finn: Hey Ivy, I brought you some goodies.

Finn: Oh, you're Rina, aren't you? What are you doing here?

Rina: Finn-san!

He had wondered why I had brought the documents instead of Sakura-san and--

I also told him that I'd like to help with Ivy-san's work.

Finn: I see ... that's good, isn't it?

Rina: Really?

Ivy: Hey, Finn. You can't let her do that.

Finn: She's motivated. I find she can do the job relatively well, and I think that's good.

Finn: And you've got your hands full with songwriting now, don't you? Then why don't you let Rina take care of it?

Ivy: That's ...!

Rina: Ivy-san, please!

Ivy: ...

After a moment of contemplation, Ivy-san let out a sigh.

Ivy: ... All right. If you insist, I'll let you do it.

Rina: Thank you very much! I will take full responsibility!

Ivy: Yeah, thanks.

Rina: Yes!

... After that, Ivy-san asked Finn-san to go home with me becaue it was already late at night.

--flashback--

Ivy: I wish I could give you a ride, but ... sorry, I can't leave yet.

--flashback--

Ivy-san was apologizing, even though he was the one who was going to have a hard time.

I think he has a strong sense of responsibility. Ivy-san seems to be trying too hard, which worries me.

(I'm glad he agreed to let me help.)

(This might reduce Ivy-san's burden a little.)

(You trusted me with this, so I'm going to finish it!)

I made up my mind to do so.

⤷ next chapter

#morganatic idol #morudoru #morudoru ivy #resa translates something for once?

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