robyn | any pronouns | the A in LGBTQ+ academic silliness & intense nerdyness
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Das hier ist kein Lied, das Mut bringt
Denn worüber soll das geh'n?
Hab'n die Hoffnung längst verlor'n, doch werden hier
Bis zum bitt'ren Ende geh'n
#marlo grosshardt#mut#lyrics#you dont need hope to fight fascism#fight the good fight because it is the good fight#Spotify
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Falls jemand was lesen möchte zu den politikwissenschaftlichen Erkenntnissen & Einschätzungen zur Fall der "Brandmauer" und wie das zur Normalisierung, Legitimierung, & Erfolg von rechten Parteien führt:
"Die Konsequenzen der Normalisierung und Legitimierung der radikalen Rechten gehen allerdings weit über die Parteienpolitik hinaus. Auch wenn die radikale Rechte noch nicht in Regierungsverantwortung ist wie in den USA, in Italien oder Ungarn, führt ihre Präsenz und Stärke, ihre größere Akzeptanz bereits zu einer Erosion basaler Prinzipien der liberalen Demokratie. Indirekt, weil andere Parteien zunehmend vor inklusiver Politik zurückschrecken, weil Grundrechte und rechtstaatliche Prinzipien in Frage gestellt werden, weil Bekenntnisse zur liberalen internationalen Ordnung ausbleiben. Direkt, weil sich Kräfte Rechtsaußen ermächtigt fühlen. Es folgen zunehmende Bedrohungen, Einschüchterungen und Gewalt gegen Minderheiten und diejenigen, die sich für eine andere Politik einsetzen. All das ist diese Woche etwas mehr Teil deutscher Realität geworden. Dazu haben Friedrich Merz und Christian Lindner fundamental beigetragen."
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my anxious asexual ass did a brave thing today and finally went to a gynecologist
#shout out to queermed germany#and my friends persuading me to loook after my health#all went well bc the gynecologist waa really understanding and kind#ngl i thought i would be more afraid today given my fear of discrimination that prevented me going for all these years#but#i was so angry and occupied with politics that i had not a lot of brain capacity to me anxious
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the horrors persist yes but also the sun is shining
#so many terrible things happening rn politics related that im just happy that the sun is still here and so are we and so is good music#also another positive thing is that my doctor said im allowed to run again :)
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"sprained" toe update:
"basisnahe Fraktur ... ohne signifikante Dislokation"
#just had an x ray#looking at the results like#you wanna tell me i ran 8k with a broken toe#oh well#but like#what does it meaaan#how do x rays work#is it still broken#or more specifically#can i do sports again next week???
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today at the office we had a meeting and my supervisor commented her child interacting with me with "new babysitter? :D" and her child immediately shook her head no
#mostly happy that we understand each other and both know i would be a crap babysitter#but also a tiny bit hurt ngl xD#phd journey
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got a referral for radiology
#and an appointment for the scan in 2 days#apparently doing dumbbell lunges 1 interval run and 2 muay thai session in 1 week was not it#my foot thought#its not that bad painwise actually but we'll see
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is it me or is applying follow path for 2d animation in blender really such a fucking pain in the arse
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my phd supervisor: you can think about submitting your paper to this important conference in Canada as well :)
me: I don't want to go to Canada!! >:c
supervisor: you know the following years this conference will probably be in the US
me: consider the abstract submitted
#its like the biggest conference so of yours its in the us most of the time bc its american#but every four or five years its i Canada#so if i want to go during my few years of the phd i should take my chance#bc no way am i going to the us#i dont even know if that is a possibility in the future as a trans person studying topics around marginalised communities#anyway this oh so important association has the ugliest web design just saying#oh the reason why i dont want to got to canada is not canada#i am just not fond of flying to 2 different countries in 2 months#phd journey
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had no problem falling asleep 2 days in a row!! ...but both times I woke up before my alarm
#still a win tho since i struggled with sleep since the end of 2024#now get ready for an unnecessary life update in the tags#im doing 30days of yoga and thats good i think at keeping me calm bc life is kinda overwhelming#now that i know what to do for my 1st phd paper i start to realise all the potential problems#thats stressing me less than the holidays and new year did#i often dont feel like i can be fully myself with my parents as a leftist queer#especially around my tory dad#and this time his tory brother was there and i just was so tense all the time#and annoyed like could you stop with the eu bashing you got ur brexit shut up#but im so scared of conflict that i never say anything#and then i visted a friend for new year and afterwards realised that that was actually too much#and im feeling like im falling out of this friendship from my side at least#like we dont actually have so much in common#and i realised how much i hide myself around this friend#so that was a lot to think about starting a new year#i got a date for a first meering about a autism diagnosis tho so thats a thing#i hope the psychotherapist is queerfriendly#what else is new#ah yes my foot hurts again i think the lunges with dumbells and the running and muay thai the following days were too much#so i probably have to make a doctors appointment to get that checked out#writing this down feels weird but also good bc i talked with no one about the entirety of all of it yet#it also felt like i had to get this off my chest before i could post normally again on here
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just took over my supervisor's class bc she had to leave the seminar early and if I ever teach during my phd I have to keep my mothering under control oh boy
#its either me being a mumTM telling them to go outside after class to get some sunlight#or me talking to them like im a fellow class mate#so i do have my concerns about not being taking seriously and as competent#but then again what is professionalism other then a social construct made by white men#phd journey
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learning (blender) by (idk what i'm) doing
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sometimes it truly feels like there was a basic human communication course in elementary school that everyone attended but me
#i keep having misunderstandings with my phd supervisor#ok only like 2 so far#but they were pretty annoying#at least we realised before the deadline this midnight#phd journey
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planned to start working on my first animation project in blender today but then I ended up doing so many other things including listening to almost 4 hours of youtube content about 2 different academic frauds in physics while doing chores leaving me way too tired to actually start sketching
#at least i set up the file#and imported a picture of my analogue sketch to sketch over digitally#now im laying in bed tho and i am very happy about it#bc tmr will be an eventful day i think
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Broke: liking cavetown because he makes amazing music for transmascs
Woke: liking cavetown because he makes amazing music for aspecs
Bespoke: cavetown makes great indie music that really captures the feeling of being trans and aspec at the same time. There is such a small amount of people who make aspec music already, and hardly any that are also trans. (that many people know) It's so beautiful that cavetown makes so much music that captures experiences that so many trans people and aspec people can relate to and is also so mainstream for queer people. Many people talk about the trans experience, many (but less unfortunately) people talk about the aspec experience, but it's rarely talked about how they are felt TOGETHER, in this essay I will-
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Why does this matter so much to me?
Sometimes I wish I didn't matter to anybody
And sometimes I forget I do
#cavetown#worm food#lyrics#listening to cavetown to cry o clock babyyy#i really had to get the tears out that i was holding in since yesterday#trying real hard to listen to the 'dont listen to your thoughts after 9pm' advice tho#yes i know its not 9pm yet#Spotify
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was already emotionally unstable before meeting my phd mentor in person for the first time today but he also had the audacity (/s) to be really nice and said "you're good the way you are" so I almost cried after the meeting
#thanks hormones#we love the emotional slash depressive days before a period dont we#no we dont i hate it here#give me back my good mood#or at least my normal one#phd journey
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