#am i a bad person for having that post saved in my drafts for weeks

[urprofsqueermenace]

I wouldn't tell anyone if I won the lottery got a bunch of money bc my grandpa died but there will be signs

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

So

~

90 notes: I’ll post some random shit I’ve been planning to post forever

160 notes: I’ll post a chapter of a fic I have drafted on Ao3 (y’all if I don’t post it before Oct 2 it’ll automatically delete itself so please save my fic before it’s too late oml)

250 notes: I’ll start going on walks at least once a week (I really need motivation)

370 notes: I’ll tell my best friend some big news about my identity (why am I so scared? Idk)

530 notes: I’ll post an audio of me singing something (you can wish for any song in the comments if you like!)

1660 notes: I’ll post a lot of shit I have in my Tumblr drafts + I’ll gather the courage ask my friends for a little money so I can buy myself my own phone (I need a second one in case anything bad happens to me and I have to run away from home. No, I won’t elaborate.)

1850 notes: I’ll take more time to do the things I love this winter.

2000 notes: I’ll wear my lesbian pin in front of my mum and hope she sees it.

2300 notes: I’ll tell my therapist a lot of things… things she probably needs to know but I’m scared to tell her.

2800 notes: I’ll try to talk to my crush in school. Small talk, okay? Nothing more. I’m so scared don’t make me do it-

3100 notes: I’ll finish reading Art Heist, Baby! (No. Please.)

~

I won’t be tagging anyone because y’all are insane and I’ll be forced to keep my promises… sigh

ONLY TWO NOTES PER PERSON!!! Edit: Yup only 2 notes. Can y’all tell I really don’t wanna do all this lol

DOBT MAKE MUNOIST GET TO 2800 BECAISE I DONT WANT TO DO WHAT MY FROEMD WANST ME TO DO AJSHSJSJSJ

[midnightshindig]

hiii this isn’t a request i just wanted to counter ur post abt being a cecil apologist 😭😭 i know cecil isn’t wrong when it comes to his point abt being tje good guys or saving the world. like with how many L’s mark takes i would lowk do the same. but think of it from marks pov it’s hard to just tolerate someone that tried to kill you. cecil just handled the situation very poorly by refusing to communicate properly with mark. nothing extreme would’ve happens if cecil just have mark a two minute lecture on what he went through. and it was extremely unfair of cecil to expect mark to understand something as complex as this after a simple order when it took cecil three years in prison to learn the same thing. i’m not saying cecil is wrong for having a contingency but he’s wrong for immediately whipping it out when he should’ve deescalated 🗿

AHHH this has been in my drafts for WEEKS- oh my god fucking object permanence- what's that?

ugh okay so like this is a long one, everything under this line is the og draft I wrote in its entirety (written like two days after episode 3 dropped):

Okay- I should preface this with: I love arguing on the internet about shit that doesn't matter, your opinions are valid and you're 100% allowed to interpret this piece of media this way.

Okay so now i'm gonna break down season 3 episode 2's conflict between Mark and Cecil and explain myself better;

(preface: I believe strongly in prison reform and am a big advocate that almost all crime is systemic, and that anybody can be rehabilitated. This belief system colors how I interact with media. I'm around Mark's age so I won't use that as an excuse for his character, but I will take it into account)

So episode one kicks off their fight with Mark busting into Cecil's office. It looks like he's gone through the proper channels, and Cecil willingly let him in. Cecil is willing to see Mark, even knowing why he's there (via Darkwing II's warning). Mark bursts in, an aggressive tone, accusatory pointing finger, all at Cecil.

Cecil tells Mark in a stern, warning voice to calm down, Mark responds by approaching more and slamming his hands onto Cecils desk. No matter how you cut it, that's aggressive. Even if you and I know that Mark is a good person, and didn't come here to murder Cecil, that's still an aggressive act.

Mark is clearly upset about D.A. Sinclair, and Cecil gives him a-- very reasonable-- explanation that he can't fix his mistakes in prison. The idea of these people fixing their mistakes is so foreign to Mark-- rehabilitation is such a non-option to him, that he responds with "What are you even talking about?" Anything less than the fairy tale ideal of bad guys rotting mindlessly in prison isn't on the table for Mark. This is because he was raised by Nolan, with a very empirical view of morality and authority. Those who broke the law died or went to prison. End of story.

Mark expresses his disbelief that D.A Sinclair in particular can do good, that his mistakes cannot be rectified due to the continued impact they have on people. Cecil responds to this by assuring him that every reaniman D.A. Sinclair makes is from a donated corpse. He isn't hurting anyone else. It is HEAVILY implied that the "severe psychological reprogramming" Cecil mentions is straight-up psychological torture. Mark just. Isn't listening. He doesn't have the space in his head for an alternative worldview.

To Mark, the last time an authority figure tried to 'broaden his perspective', was when his father pummeled him into a mountain. It makes sense Mark is acting this way, but Mark is a child. Mark's superpowers don't make him qualified to decide right from wrong, Mark is not an elected or chosen official, and he hasn't even really been to college. He doesn't know where the Declaration of Independence is.

Cecil explains his rationale, that these people are repaying their debt. DA Sinclair could be in prison making license plates, or he could be making soldiers that save lives like they do twenty minutes earlier in the same episodes. and Mark's response? "That's bullshit and you know it" Like, not even an argument. He's just, angry. Which is fine! Mark is a teenager grappling with things he shouldn't have to, but that isn't Cecil's fault either.

Cecil tries to get Mark to think differently, asking if he should arrest Mark. This is where we see Mark's tangled internal logic, he can justify it however he wants, but the fact remains that Darkwing II killed for the same reasons Mark did, to ultimately save people and make the world a safer place. Mark didn't have a choice, or he didn't mean to, which is worse?

Cecil extends and olive branch, asking Mark very nicely to go home. Mark doesn't leave. This is a telling moment. Objectively, Cecil doesn't owe Mark anything. He gave him an explanation, he sympathized with Mark's concerns and validated the ethics of his operation. Mark is only able to continue his verbal assault on Cecil because... who's going to stop him? No conversation can happen in good faith under that kind of power dynamic.

ONLY after Mark tells Cecil "uh fuck you I do what I want and I'm not leaving until you do what I say" does Cecil even enter the white room. the room meant exclusively to protect Cecil. EVEN AFTER HES IN THE ROOM, Cecil gives Mark an "out", and tells him to go home before Mark does something he'll regret. It isn't a direct threat, it's simultaneously a threat and a genuine warning. Attacking Cecil starts Mark down a moral path that's hard to turn back from.

I want to note that throughout all of this, Cecil is levelheaded and calm, while Mark is gesturing and aggressive in his stances, and yelling nonstop.

Cecil says "please go" which, knowing Cecil in context of seasons 1 and 2, is likely a genuine plea for Mark to not have to become an enemy. Cecil doesn't WANT Mark to become another aggressive Viltrumite. He asks Mark SO nicely. and Mark is still in his battle stance, unwavering.

On to episode two!

I'm choosing to ignore Cecil's backstory, since this information isn't directly brought up and isn't available to Mark.

Cecil tells Mark the white room is for Cecil's protection, and we get that line again from Mark

"What are you even talking about?"

Mark is so insular, so isolated in his worldview that he cannot comprehend that yeah, duh, a totally normal old man would find it TERIFYING that you, a viltrumite teenager, are encroaching on him with aggressive body language and a raised voice. Me? I'd be fucking terrified. My boyfriend is like 6 5" and built like a fridge, he's strong as shit and has been since he was a kid. One of the things intimidating strong people learn is that they have to watch themselves, when you're so much stronger than everyone else, you don't get to show up and throw your arms around and yell and scream and point fingers when you're mad. It's unfair to Mark, but it's terrifying to Cecil. And Mark isn't even self-aware enough to know how scary he is on a conceptual level. He's so emotionally removed from what a viltrumite even is that he can't comprehend that he's capable of the same damage his father did to Chicago.

Cecil tries to explain this concept to Mark, and Mark responds with "Okay but I ONLY use my powers for good", he isn't able to even CONSIDER that to anybody who isn't him, that's not a guarantee. Omniman was good until he wasn't. Who's to say it couldn't happen again? Notice how not a single reaniman touches Mark in this scene. This is important for later.

Cecil is banking on his authority as an adult, lecturing Mark like a bratty child, with his hand on his hip. He can't show Mark the amount of power he has over Cecil or Mark WILL take advantage of it. There can't be a world where a nineteen-year-old strongarms a military official. Not to Cecil. Cecil calls Mark on his shit, and shames him for abusing his power and being closeminded, then he shares a vulnerability. Mark is scaring the shit out of him right now.

Mark responds by freaking out more, and the SPECIFIC LILT OF HIS VOICE- ugh. It reminds me of when later in the season when Mark is scolding Oliver. "I'm not even doing anything!!" while throwing his arms in the air in his superhero suit, eyebrows furrowed and his voice like a whiny child being told to knock it off.

He approaches Cecil, and a reaniman grabs him by the arm. This is meant to detain Mark, NOT hurt him.

Mark responds by going "you're not the boss of me" (in effect, not direct language) and SMASHES THE REANIMAN.

I have beef with the whole "Cecil doesn't try an talk to Mark" angle, Cecil is watching Mark crash and burn through the creatures he EXPLICITLY says are only meant to protect him, and offers to talk to Mark. He tells Mark that he isn't keeping his operations a secret from anyone within his facilities, that this is par for the course within the GDA, and this is his attempt to de-escalate. Calm down, this isn't a fight worth having, let's just talk.

MARK engages this fight, MARK refuses to talk. The scene of Mark post-destroying the reanimen is almost a one-to-one of the s1e1 frame of Nolan after killing the guardians. This is a direct parallel. There needs to always be a bigger fish.

and instead of continuing to argue about the actual issue, instead of bringing up DA Sinclair or Darkwing or actually trying to be productive, or demanding Cecil go public. He asks

"Is that all you got?"

at this point Mark is picking a fight, and making it clear that this is now an aggressive encounter. He's demanding Cecil show him everything in his arsenal, implying no matter what it is, Mark will mow it down and get to Cecil.

I am FLOORED by the way Cecil says "I wish you hadn't asked that, kid."

NOTE Cecil calling Mark, kid. he's still offering him the grace of being considered a foolish kid and not an intentionally menacing adult. Adults don't get to be this type of threat, they don't get extended the grace a rowdy teenage rebel does. Cecil is offering another olive branch to Mark, so that he can still turn away and be protected under the 'kid' moniker.

and we get the reveal of a room FULL of reanimen. Who didn't move until initiated. Who Mark plows through like nothing.

Mark threatens Cecil, and Cecil calls him out on his hypocrisy "I thought you don't do threats?"

Mark, AGAIN, instead of being able to recognize conflicting world views or broaden his perspective, bitterly and dismissively goes "Yeah? Well people change."

WHICH IS FUCKING INFURIATING

especially since twenty minutes ago Mark was arguing that people CANT change and that trying to change bad people was a worthless pursuit.

Cecil warns him literally "Don't, Mark, i'm warning you."

at this point Cecil has told Mark to stand down or else, SO MANY TIMES, slowly increasing the severity of the defense mechanisms.

I find it VERY interesting that Cecil explains, in detail, what and why Mark is being hurt. He gives Mark all the information on his earpiece. Why? For power. To show Mark exactly what is happening and that he can't stop it. Mark needs a taste of powerlessness, to curb the unchecked God complex he's struggling with. There needs to be a bigger fish. Then Cecil releases the mind fuck thing. and tells him to be reasonable and go home

Marks response? "We are so far past reasonable"

WE. We are so far past reasonable. This shows that Mark is lumping himself in with Cecil, that somewhere in him he knows this is insane, jumping and cornering a man like this? This isn't right. He knows that.

But he also makes it clear to Cecil that this is now something Mark has to "see through" and not something he's willing to talk about.

Mark hasn't mentioned DA Sinclair or Darkwing once in episode 2, it's not even the core focus anymore

now, to Mark, it's about power. It's about Cecil acting like he has authority and power over Mark, and like any other teenager who feels like their opinion is being ignored, he lashes out

but again. When you're god, you don't get to lash out.

Cecil is TERRIFIED. I hear a lot of "Cecil wasn't mature enough" BROTHER IS FEAR. bro probably pissed his pants.

Cecil explains to Mark WHY he puts it in his head, that he still believes Mark isn't his dad, so stop acting like him. Cecil keeps giving Mark out after out, olive branch on the olive branch. And Mark is so caught up in his own sense of ego and power and betrayal that he feels truly helpless for the first time since season one, can't even hear him. He doesn't even let Cecil finish his sentence.

I find it very interesting that Mark goes to the GHQ, knowing they're on Cecil's payroll. Mark really has nobody else to turn to. He goes, specifically, to Rudy. He trusts that Rudy will do the right thing and help him.

Cecil immediately tries to disengage the guardians, saying he isn't going to kill the kid. Note the repeated use of kid. Kid is affectionate. I'm not going to kill the kid, it implies that he still has some kind of emotional attachment, killing a kid would be insane, it shows he's still extending that protection that being called a kid offers. even now, Cecil is offering him an olive branch.

Cecil tells Mark he's coming back to the GDA, and only when Mark refuses three times does Cecil use force. It seems brutal, like, stuff in his brain? How AWFUL. but also? There's not really any other way to hurt the guy.

Only once Mark has proven REPEATEDLY that not only is he not open to discussion, he isn't even open to peace, does Cecil enact any true violence against him.

Cecil calls Mark an "arrogant little asshole" and calls him on his hypocritical bullshit. and then Mark chokes him so hard he coughs up blood.

You can argue about the semantics of who is right morally, but Cecil made every attempt to calmly engage Mark, escalating slowly and only in response to the threat levels he perceived in Mark. To criticize Cecil for not being calmer or not deescalating undermines the point of why he does it: He's human. He's scared. Of course we can sit here and say, oh Cecil should've told him, or Cecil should've blah blah blah

Cecil doesn't report to Mark. Mark isn't the law, he doesn't get to decide the law any more than any other civilian does. Cecil doesn't owe Mark shit past basic decency, and he gives him that, Cecil gives Mark more grace than I would have. And we know his fears aren't baseless, either, the second Cecil stops defending against Mark, MARK CHOKES HIM SO HARD HE COUGHS UP BLOOD. It's a huge purple bruise on his throat.

but Mark is a child who has no business putting himself above the law and above peaceful conversations. He could've told others without directly confronting and attacking Cecil. Mark could have demanded answers, and then gone and acted on his own. He could've contacted local police, the news, the GotG, anyone else to make this a more fair protest of Cecil's actions. But Mark knows he's hot shit. He knows that- up until episode two- he was untouchable. and he flagrantly abuses this power. All Cecil does is respond.

and still continue to offer him grace, up until he just can't.

Uh thank you for coming to my ted talk <3

[wardingshout]

Since I didn't draw anything for like half of 2024 I did an updated colour wheel instead! featuring only the newest of stuff I could find that fit.

I have also compiled a dump of many thoughts I want out of my head, like a little text post dump I guess. the tldr I guess I will just make "thank you".

Putting the most important thing first here which is. Every single time I catch myself thinking "no I need to draw smth other than alttp" a couple of very specific tags and messages pop into my head and I get so fired up to draw more alttp !!! the power I feel from that!!!!!

IIIIII feel like there used to be a way to do linebreaks but I can't remember how so my new text bit divider is random crap I can find lying around in my files

Ok here goes me being dramatic about something that only matters to me but feels so very important to get out for the sake of others too. I guess the gist of it is that tumblr is a rly important place to me and I'm so endlessly grateful for people always being so nice. at the end of the day I don't think I really care about much else in life than drawing and getting to share it with others makes it a much less lonely experience for me. I mostly just for myself, but I'm so grateful for the extra joy associated with posting it online too.

I feel a bit bad I can never seem to give back the kind of nice energy you guys give me. despite how much joy this place brings me, I'm just a naturally anxious person and I often chicken out of doing things myself. I'm so endlessly happy that people still bear with me or at least stick around to look at my art.

thanks to people's kindness I often find myself breaking out of the anxiety and getting a lot closer to initiating stuff myself, but I always get run over by some kind of irl issue instead, usually mental, but recently also physical health. I had so much fun on here this summer especially and I was so certain that this was the time I would make it last only for irl stuff to yet again show up and knock me out completely. every time that happens I feel like I have to rebuild whatever social bravery I had aquired from the beginning again and at this rate I won't ever get anywhere.

after weeks of very few work days, I feel like I'm finally rebuilding the courage to post and the concentration to manage drawing at all. it's not a lot of progress but I can feel it growing. from tomorrow it's back to full time work with no other breaks in sight and I'm scared my groove will be cut short already... I like my job but I've acknowledged I just can't thrive with full time work. I can bear it fine though, but it doesn't leave energy for much else in life.

I think the point here is. I know it's just social media but I've had so many good experiences on here and they're really precious to me. I hope one day I can be well enough to be that kind of influence for others too. my activity with art and presence online has become surprisingly reflective of how well or bad I'm doing irl, so I never I never want to give up on become a more present person.

the most important thing is art though, so finding the courage to get back to posting even if it's all I do, makes me happy too. thank you so much to everyone else who posts are too. I'm endlessly excited about all the cool things I get to experience and see online, thank you!

it is absolutely absurd how many drafts I have of just very frustrated moments where literally all I type is "if I have to be sick one more time I will lose my absolute mind holy shit" and having just been sick again? really feeling that !!!! it's also like. frustrating to feel you're making progress mentally and then you constantly get knocked into bed by phsyical health instead like come on I'm finally learning how to get Out of that place... and then every time you get sick, routunes have to be rebuild all over after, it suuuuucks....

I finally got a PC which has been absolutely life saving, However. I am still drawing on tegaki only... I'm so excited I can get back to bigger works on csp but I've gotten so used to seeing only my tegaki stuff, I'm scared of how much I'll suddenly hate my art when I see it differently again... hating your own art is probably a feeling that will never disappear but even so. I think I'm at a pretty content place right now and I'm worried about shaking it up. I can't let something like that knock me down when I'm only finally getting back to drawing regularly again... I already copied over the palette for some comfort so hopefully I can find a brush that feels similar too! at least I'm super excited about getting to pick some more colours !

and a very belated tag game thing !! I completely lost the original post by now but it was from @lele5429 and I've had it in my drafts this whole time, so better late than never to fill it out!

Last song: Alt Hvad Jeg Vil by Von Quar

Fav colours: warm yellows or light oranges!

Last book: switching between Assassin's Quest and Our Wives Under The Sea!

Last movie: The Princess Bride I think?? it was long ago so I feel like I'm forgetting something else though...

Last tv show: my roomie and I binged Twin Peaks season 3 as well as most of True Detective over christmas break we went Ham

Sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet !!

Relationship status: not interested

Last thing I googled: "nosferatu rats"... I see.....

Current obsession: alttp auish shenanigans... this one has not changed since I first drafted my response to this... on one hand I feel like I'm just filling out the gaps between games, but on the other it's getting very close to full au stuff... I always wanted to draw comics but had no ideas and for the first time in my life I'm drowning in ideas and fully held back by fear and skills haha

Looking forward to: actually surprisingly nothing at all? I'm looking forward to whatever good times I can create for myself I guess. the last few things I was looking forward to didn't go so well, so maybe it's nice to have nothing but the most normal and boring daily life ahead haha

[datura-tea]

holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)

^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!

memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long

2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!

i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially

2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.

fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.

this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe

2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol

2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived

2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha

2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of

2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!

2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium

2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind

2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!

2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!

all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖

[edai-crplpnk]

2.- was sasuke right? || 3.- were naruto's intentions with sasuke selfish? || 8.- show a screenshot of your latest draft with no context ((always gonna pick the excuse to see sneak peeks lol)) || 14.-openings or endings?

For the Controversial Naruto Take Ask

2 - was sasuke right?

I'd like to preface this by saying I find it utterly insane how everyone (in canon and also a bit in the fandom tbh) says stuff about sasuke needing to atone for his crimes and whatnot when he literally has never killed anyone in the whole series. Even Naruto has, and he hasn't. And it's explicitly said that he has gone out of his way not to, and that he has asked Taka not to either while they were working for him. So, of course, the whole barging in at the gokage summit thing was not very cordial, but compared to what most of the characters have done, he's pretty fine. (Kakashi kills a child in the very first arc, may I remind everyone.)

Anyway. If the question is "Was Sasuke right about wanting a revolution and to take down Konoha's government?" I mean. Yes, I think that genocide is bad and that states that have been built in a way that allows and, furthermore, have flourished on them, should be undermined. I don't know if he was going to have a plan for that that would have led to something more functional to be built, I'll give you that, but yes Homura and Koharu should have died in a jail cell decades ago.

The part where he went full "I am going to become an eternal god hated by all and ruling by fear" was probably ill-advised though.

3 - were naruto's intentions with sasuke selfish?

That's an interesting question because I've never thought about it like that? I think that one thing happening in their dynamic is that they have very similar problems and trauma, but very different ways to react to it. And so they can relate to the other's motivation, but tend to think "but you are being mistaken about the solution because I know how to solve this and it's not that". But the truth is they are both traumatised teenagers willing to literally die for attention and a feeling of accomplishment and purpose, so I don't think either of them really has it figured out 😭

I don't think that Naruto's intentions with Sasuke were selfish, in the sense that I think he genuinely was doing what he was doing with the belief that it was the right way and that it would help and save him (which, for a part at least, it did). But maybe it was selfish in that he wasn't able to consider that because just he is seeing one path out of his problems and pain, then that path has to be right for Sasuke as well. To consider that he was a different person who maybe needed to make different choices and that's okay.

Not to do my self-promo but actually yesdo this authors, it's good: this is part of what I wanted to explore in Take You Heart Above The Water. Sasuke cannot (and as a matter of fact, in canon, does not) come back to Konoha and integrate into it the way Naruto does. And it's not necessarily a good goal for him to have. They have different relationships with the village, the people, different needs, or maybe similar ones but different ways to meet them. Helping people grow and feel happy and loved doesn't always mean helping them have the same life as you do.

8 - show a screenshot of your latest draft with no context

The last thing I worked I just posted it, so I'm going to take sneak peek of the last WIP I've worked on. It's All Bones and a Beating Heart, my ShikaChou modern AU.

The breaks in his voice takes him by surprise like a tide rising while one’s looking away, only catching back their attention when the cold water reaches their feet. The admission he’s about to make has been building in the back of his mind for weeks, unspeakable but unshakable too, feeding on him like a parasite that will now gush out through his throat after having overgrown his guts, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. His lashes stick with tears when he blinks and his lips are dry when they part. “I don’t want anything in me anymore.”

Fun times 👍

14 - openings or endings?

I'm gonna say endings just for Nakushita Kotoba.

Thank you for asking!!

[cleolinda]

Weekend links

My posts

No perfume or vampire recap this week, although I have one of each about 3/4 drafted. New Medication Side Effects are slowing me down (but I'm doing well on it otherwise).

Social media hell

Threads was a mistake. For me, not Zuckerberg; I'm sure it's great for him. In theory I was trying it out so you wouldn't have to, but I regret all the choices that led me to this. It is the tenth circle of privacy hell. Someone else can try out the bad idea next time. Save yourself.

After discussing the difficulty of getting on Mastodon, I actually did manage to wrestle my way through the signup process, because I felt like it wasn't fair to complain if I didn't at least try. I am now on mastodon.world. I'm not sure if I want to be there ("Shitposting is not allowed")? Can I go somewhere else? What... what are the somewhere elses? I am currently reading up on this.

I have wrangled a Bluesky invite! "What's Hot" seems a lot like the list of media journalists I follow on Twitter, which I haven't been on full-time in years. Bluesky will probably be more enjoyable once more people I know get on, which they might be able to do if Jack Dorsey would open Bluesky to the public already.

I feel very out of step with microblogging culture after years away—oddly, I got back on Tumblr full-time late last year and I felt at home pretty much immediately, which means that you're stuck with me now.

Reblogs of interest

20,000 Pounds of Trash Removed From Pacific Garbage Patch: ‘Holy mother of god. It worked!’

Search engines and databases that aren't Google

G/O Media forced a nonsensical AI-generated Star Wars article onto io9, and the staff is pissed

Video

Indigenous Horror Films

Sparrow Tarot: Judgment and the Ace of Pentacles

Dance Here ⭕️

Dug in Real Life

The sacred texts

Tama the Eternal Stationmaster

Me getting up in the morning like

Tony Hawk's existential nightmare

IF YOU LIKE PIÑA COLADA

Personal tags of the week

One orange braincell (see also the subreddit of the same name devoted to doofy orange cats)

Fashion, some of it from the Fall 2023 runways

[zenkindoflove]

I'm so late for the ask game!! I wanna ask you what hasn't been asked already yet:

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I write sentences that are too complicated and sound confusing and often the biggest thing I cringe about when I re-read my edited work is "hey, when you were editing, why did you think THAT was a good sentence?" I should take more time to sit with my fics and edit them over several iterations and put time from the first draft to posting so that I can actually catch things.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

I'm actually intending on making a huge big post thanking everyone when PMID is done so I'm gonna save this one for then. It'll be happening soon (like by the end of the week)! I have so many nice things to say about so many of the people who have been supporting me. ❤️

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Before I say anything, I want people to understand that just because someone expresses a particular preference or taste in fanfic, and the things they dislike are things that you do, it is NOT a reason to feel insecure or that your writing and fanfic is not amazing and worthy. Fanfic is escapism primarily. It's all subjective.

I've been reading fanfic since I was 11 and I'm 35 years old now which means I've had almost 25 years of experience figuring out what it is that I like and don't like. I've read things that have truly made me feel ill and ruined my day, so I know now to avoid those topics. I have read fanfic that was extraordinary and profound and others that were juvenile and silly - both of which I've gotten immense enjoyment from reading.

Mostly when I read fanfic, I'm looking for a dynamic that I'm interested in reading about my ship. I think, as an OTP shipper, the dynamic and chemistry between the characters I love the most is what I'm most invested in. I'm not really looking for scenarios or tropes or certain kinks persay (and in fact, I'm mostly a very vanilla person so a lot of kinks I stay away from). When I'm reading, if I feel like "yes, this feels like my OTP" (fits the vision I have of them in my head) then usually I am interested in exploring with the writer as long as it isn't something that falls into a squick for me. If I encounter a squick that I know from the past will not sit well with me, or if I am growing annoyed or frustrated by how my OTP is interacting with each other, I click away. Because at the end of the day, I'm reading to get the feels. To explore how my ship could potentially fall in love for the 1000000000th time. If one of my NOTPs shows up, I'm probably going to have a bad time and click away too.

These aren't criticisms of the way that person writes THEIR story. That is just me being honest about what I know I will or won't have a good time with. Every fanfic and interpretation of a ship is valid and someone is going to be like "YES, THIS IS MY EXACT THING". Just because it's not my exact thing, doesn't mean it isn't good. Nor am I under any delusion that how I write my ships in my fics are going to be everyone else's exact thing. In fact, I welcome it not being everyone's thing. As nice of an idea that it is to be universally loved, it is not in any means realistic when it comes to art and fandom.

Writer Truth or Dare Ask Game

[unhinged-comics-screaming]

I was gunna do the predictions bingo but honestly I am not feeling the juices rn. So maybe just a hopes list?

The obvious first one, Smith comes back as a human in some shape or form. Adjacently, this ends up as the ending of the OP shows up. I think Obari has been very direct in saying how much the OP is representative of the work and the scenes we don't have are the section where Bravern rolls out with the TSes and Smith demonstrating his pick up game. One of the news articles for a mech focused site has a thing about spotlighting TSes that show up in the later half and I don't know if they meant series as the whole or just the ep lol. Anyway, significant Smith helping lift Isami up scene pls.

I'm uh, not a Brave/Transformers focused person but I am in it for men kissing so I totally get people who want to keep Bravern but I like me a human Smith! Smith wanted to be in a bot and he's. In a bot. The same way we exist in our meatsuits. So I don't count it as a bad end either.

I think ideally we have both Bravern + Smith existing together... somehow. Actually it'd be so funny to have them both fight for Isami's attention. That being said some of the cute fanart where Smith can transform is probably my personal fave? Just throw in a magical girl show while we're here??

Oh at the very least

Isami figures out Bravern is Lewis Smith

I don't think there's any way we can get to the end without this happening so specificity. Isami finding Smith's dog tag in the cockpit is probably going to be the most obvious option. It's kinda brutal but I'm curious what the cockpit looks like "off" since it's like a projection orb or something.

It's related but imagine. A tokusatsu suit in there. I asked last week "what the fuck is 2m tall human man Isami Ao supposed to do against giant robot. What if he gets a hero suit + sword. Clearly Brave Printer can do anything so.

Actually I wanna know more about that but I feel like that's just something that doesn't need to be answered rn.

Another time loop??

It'd be kind of fun if Isami finds some sort of time loop trigger inside of his cockpit. Because I think it'd be kind of amusing tbh. That being said I don't really know where I'd want it to go. Lewis goes to when Bravern is introduced which I guess is because that's his time of need? And Lulu goes to when Bravern is "born". I don't really see it but people feel like Isami's shift from crying -> hero who makes everyone happy is too drastic so maybe somewhere in there but honestly I think its because there's only 12 episodes lol. Maybe because it's Isami the fusion moments are save points?

The thing about a last time loop without Deathdrives means we don't get Lulu and Superbia so that would make me pretty sad so maybe not that far back lol.

Deathdrive Lore

I think the key to that kind of thinking is finding out why the Deathdrives are here to begin with. Like, Bravern came into existence _after_ they were already invading so why are they all here with the motivation to get a death from Bravern specifically. How does that work. Did Cunus know something about it and tell everyone?

Actually that would be interesting like, Bravern's existence is what brings the Deathdrives to this... world? Timeline? Reality? in the first place so they end up stopping Bravern from existing at all. That would explain why its both Smith and Isami coming out of TSes in the last scene but not the uh giant holes in the city behind them. I think it'd be a cop out to like, find some way to defeat the giant mechas in the giant mecha anime without a giant mecha anyway. Covering my bases though.

Anyway, what is up with them. What is the gluttony one doin with all that magma (is he going to make a new island??). Why is Ira so mad.

Isami Lore

I need the equivalent of the "when I was a kid, I wanted to be a dude in a skintight suit" but for Isami. Maybe the opposite? I think the post got too eaten by the draft system for me to post but I think it'd be interesting to see Isami be a parallel to Smith in that he lost people close to him but he went for the inverse conclusion where there are no heroes. Actually that would be such a callout for the last episode to start the same way as the start and also the big reveal. Or is that too repetitive? I'd also like to see how he befriends Miyu and Hibiki.

I think after everything I'll put together a "episodes I wish we had in a full season" list because I think it'd be fun to see more of what this man is cooking. Will I dip my toes into doing it myself? Probably not! Despite the amount of words here I'm not a great writer.

I don't think I'm actually capable of writing a review, I'm capable of being critical but I'm also not that discerning if that makes sense. Plus I lack so much extra context in the greater universe of everything this show references it wouldn't be particularly useful.

[twodiamondhoes]

Pspspspsps I am slowly rereading Dirges as I attempt to typeset the whole shebang for bookbinding (it still hits meeee!!!) and I'm wondering: were there any ideas that you had to put by the wayside?

Eeeee! I'm so excited to hear that!! <3

and OH BOY DO I EVER

Fun fact! There were two concepts for Dirges before it became Dirges.

A bog-standard spaghetti western with no supernatural elements. I dreamed up the original concept/finale scene while listening to the song Blood on My Name by the Brothers Bright. I was plotting a second fic at the time with all the eldritch stuff and while talking to my partner when I was trying to decide the reason that the Ratcliffes had fled England, we realized it would be so much fun to combine the two. One of the big things that I miss from the original Dirges concept was that Jimmy actually gives up being sheriff/deputy entirely and busts Tango out of jail, because his original arc was coming to terms with the idea that legal=/=morally correct.

the second concept is something that I wrestled with for the first few weeks of the HSBB. I loved it. I actually got as far as plotting the entire fic and drafting the first two chapters before changing the entire storyline to what it became. There are a few holdovers from this concept: Tango's sickles, and Tango's soul-vision. In this version, Tango wasn't an escapee from Hell, he was a "soulkeeper," or an emissary of death, who could see echoes of how someone was going to die (this actually leaned hard into the Dungeon Master Tango skin with all the soul-fire elements of it). The stronger the echo, the sooner the person was slated to die. In this version, the big arc is actually Tango coming to terms with falling in love with Jimmy, even though he wakes up every day knowing how short their time together will be. BEST wanted him back because they believed that he was their "good luck charm" because he always knew when things were going to break bad. In the end iirc, Tango turned it around on them and saved Del Sombra.

One day I might polish up the outline for concept 2 and post it, because I love soulkeeper Tango so, so much, but there were bits of the story that weren't as strong, and rewriting it was ultimately the way to go. :3

Thank you for this question!! It was a lot of fun going on this little trip down memory lane! <3

As a treat, have the very first thing ever written for Dirges, wayyyyy back in Concept 1, when the title was still "Homestead" and the only plot outline I had for it was this:

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” 

Jimmy whirled, his panic sharpening into cold terror as he realized that some of the shadows weren’t shadows at all. A scratch and hiss of a match being lit filled the silence between heartbeats, and Grian lit the lamp beside the door. 

Jimmy tangled his fingers in the mane of the Sheriff’s horse, instinctively taking a step closer to the beast. If he was quick—

Grian huffed, familiar irritation snapping across his features and clearing in another second. 

“You’re really going to take the time to saddle up that horse, when we have a perfectly good horse of our own outside? I thought you’d be in more of a hurry, given the circumstances.”

The silence of the barn suddenly struck Jimmy. He’d chalked it up to the calm before the storm, but the barn had never been quiet. Hadn’t he fallen asleep out here enough lately to know that the horses were never silent, even in sleep? A breeze whistled through the open door. The flame in the lantern guttered for a moment, but Grian didn’t close the flap. He was too busy fiddling with the latch. 

“Where are the horses?”

“Grazing.”

“It’s past midnight, Grian.”

“So it is.” Grian sniffed, not bothering to feign surprise. “And you’re still here.”

The light of the lone flame flickered across his brother’s face, obscuring him beyond even his usual stone-faced reticence. Behind him, Jimmy could see stars. He still had time. 

“You never did tell us what we were running from.”

A wry smile, an ironic smile, spread across Grian’s face. He looked at Jimmy like he was already mourning him. 

“Well, Tim,” he began. His voice cracked on the nickname, the emotion small enough that no one but he or Pearl would have ever noticed it. “It seems like now you’re on the run from the law. That’s enough for one man, don’t you think?”

Jimmy pressed past his brother, through the barn door. In the light of the moon, he could see what his earlier panic had blinded him to: Bullseye in the grazing pen, looking confused as to why he was ready to ride so late at night, when all the other horses were getting a lovely midnight snack. 

Jimmy looked back. Grian had taken his place at the side of Scar’s horse and was watching Jimmy closely. 

‘Thank you’ seemed too small, so Jimmy didn’t say anything at all. He ran to the pen and was over the fence in barely a minute. 

Grian was at the gate, leading Oreo inside to graze. He didn’t take his eyes off the horizon as Jimmy rode past him. Jimmy could practically hear him now, his voice prickling with rage and anguish: He stole away in the night. I didn’t even see him leave. 

Grian had always been a master of finding a way to tell the truth even in the twistiest of circumstances.

He was well down the road when he realized the light at his back wasn’t the rising sun. Bullseye skidded to a halt at his command. He could hear the terrified whinnying of the horses, safe in the grazing pen, as the stable burned. If he squinted, he thought he could see Grian, running back from the well. 

His breath caught on a lump in his throat, but he couldn’t stay to watch, and even if he went back, there was no stopping the blaze, now. He was just glad he’d had the foresight to argue with Grian over where to put the damn thing. 

He turned and guided Bullseye back onto the road. Despite his desperation, he couldn’t make his horse go at a full gallop. He couldn’t exhaust Bullseye before the real flight began. Even at this pace, he’d make it to town before they hung Tango. 

He had to. 

[riaayumirza]

The Price of Saving Money, Losing Weight, and Chasing Stability

Gosh, too bad that I can't put the background song "Baby, I'm Yours" on this post :D

_____________________

I'm gonna talk about my personal experience, and this post reallyyyy has nothing to do with academic purposes ^^ I wrote this first draft in my notebook on Feb 2024. ____________________________

So, in the last 2 months (Dec 2023 - Jan 2024), I think I was in my depression mode. Like, I didn't go out, didn't talk to people, didn't do anything, didn't want to eat (except when I was about to faint), and didn't want anything. I was just there. Floating in some kind of realm between reality and emptiness. Dissociating for most of the time.

I was rotting lying in bed, I ate a little too close to just survive, I isolated myself at work, it felt like I couldn't trust anyone, and the worst part was I hated myself.

That was the situation of my depression mode. we're not gonna talk about the cause, but more like what's the effect of this situation :D

_________________________________________

The Result and The Effects? 1. I can save more money than usual 2. I lost weight 3. I didn't know what people do and all the shit that happens TBH, those 3 points were on my Wishlist. The wishlist that I thought what I needed to be happy. Having more money, being skinnier, and being alone out of being everyone's problem.

and now I have it. Does it make me happier? Absolutely Fucking Not! _____________________________________________

These past few weeks, I'm trying to learn to open up myself again I'm starting to talk to my friend again (I miss the smile and laugh) I'm starting to go out again I'm starting to clean my room I'm starting to make some content on my social media again I'm starting to play again with Ishtar (my keyboard) I'm starting to journal again I'm starting to go to the gym (tho just walking on the treadmill) I'm starting to eat again I'm starting to cook or buy groceries again I'm starting to online shopping again (my fav) and little by little I'm starting to feel like myself again I'm starting to open myself up and trust again

and it comes with a price too.

_____________________________________________

You see, when you do things, go out, or hang out with friends, it costs you money. And most of the time it will involve food, so there are calories as well ^v^ And when you are a part of a community, it makes you feel warm and supported, but the conflict and drama are a bundle package you have to take. But Does it make me happier? Does it make me feel alive? Does it make feel something? OFC YESS !!!!! Since I (am trying to) get out of depression mode, maybe I can't save more money, maybe I'm gaining weight again, maybe I will be involved in some drama (or be a part of the happiest moment of their life, or get my heart broken, or turn out to be a great story/ memory when I'm older, or be a random adventure of a lifetime)

But I think it's worth it. I think Life is about that. The price of being alive and living life. Go out with your friend to laugh together with good food and a warm feeling, it's worth the price Have a nice meal in the sunshine, it's worth the price Open up and trust people, it's worth the price

____________________________________________

I think I learned my lesson. I want to live, I really do. I want to have a good time with myself and all the people that I love.

[nicholsroy]

December (+ early January) updates & January goals

Blog | Monthly updates

Hello and happy belated New Year! I am back with a (very) quick (and very belated) updates post for this month, as I’m simply unwilling to throw this monthly tradition by the wayside in January. I don’t know, just seems like a shitty way to start off a new year.

December (+ early January) updates

Query letter: My query letter for LIFE IN BLACK AND WHITE is technically done (finally), but I’m sitting with it for a while because I’m still not fully satisfied with parts of it. I’m considering getting a paid query critique from someone in the genre once it’s fully polished, if funds allow. At this rate, that will most likely happen either late this month or early next.

Edits: Edits are progressing at approximately the speed of molasses in winter right now (mostly because I’ve been doing basically nothing but reading over the past couple weeks), but I made some decent headway in December. According to my tracking document, the restructured Act I is currently about 65% complete. Act II is still less than 10% complete, as I originally intended to not touch Act II at all until Act I was complete, but I am blocked on areas of Act I that require supplementary research (which, yes, is because I’m procrastinating on said research), so I have tinkered with Act II in the meantime in order to continue progress. Many of the Act II scenes are in good shape and only need to be line edited and structured differently into chapters as needed.

A secret third thing: I… may or may not be working on a (short) new project for which inspiration struck about a week ago. I’m about 70% done with the draft, which I’ll most likely set aside for at least a few weeks prior to polishing and sending it out on submission. It is a short piece which will probably comprise around 2,000 words in total.

January goals

Keeping it simple for this month, especially seeing as it’s already nearly halfway over (I say “already” as though I haven’t been complaining all month about how slowly the time is passing):

Polish my query letter.

Get up to at least 75% progress on LIFE IN BLACK AND WHITE edits.

Complete supplementary research needed for some of the Timeline B (present-day) scenes in Act I (because I have really been dragging my ass on this for months now…)  

General life news (not writing-related)

Finished my 2023 reading challenge – on New Year’s Eve, no less – with 12 out of 12 books read! I’m working on a retrospective post of my thoughts on all these books (with ratings out of five), which I intended to post much sooner and is achieving a length much greater than intended (which is, truly, very me-coded).

I’m setting my 2024 reading challenge to 20 books, one of which I’ve read since the beginning of January. I am currently on my second, Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. In fact, I’ve accidentally become such a born-again bookworm that my time spent on social media, including Tumblr, has become minimal as of late. Not a bad thing by any means, but I do certainly miss my friends and fellow writers on here!

Personal goals for 2024 include, among a few other things, saving money (and, in particular, spending less of it on takeout), progressing in my career, and going on a couple of bucket list trips: namely, travelling across western and central Canada on The Canadian, and going pod camping.

That’s all for now. I hope your new year is treating you with heaping quantities of motivation and possibility – and if it’s not, I hope you’re finding ways to hang in there nonetheless.       

[emberlynnrayne]

Weddings, Family, and Bullshit

What is it about weddings that make people so crazy? My sister’s wedding was this past weekend, August 8th, and good god, it couldn’t be over soon enough. There are so many threads of B.S. that tie into the knot of that day, I don’t know where to start. Oh! How about that it only happened because I got engaged? No, really. She had been saying for ages before it that they were “married in the eyes of God, and anything more is a paper of man” (Obviously my sister is more than religious enough to make up for my lack of it.) She said they were going to save up for a nice wedding and they were in no rush. She said these things over and over, as recently as days before my engagement was announced. Not only that, my sister has always been very “I’m the oldest, I should be first!” To an incredibly irritating and delusional degree. So just a week after I was engaged, she announced her plan to have her wedding. God. Dammit. Because of this, our weddings were made to be a competition. With little over a year and a half for me to plan mine, and barely 6 months for hers, the family decided that her wedding was going to be a wreck and mine would be gorgeous. No pressure, right? But she just kept screwing herself over! She bought a 4 foot metal swimming pool, and literally HOURS later posted to facebook complaining about trying to afford her wedding. I wanted to be happy for my sister, but for a thousand reasons, I just couldn’t. She kept shooting herself in the foot only to butch and moan like it was someone else’s fault, the family kept comparing all our decisions, and she was such a smug, childish cunt I just wanted it to be over. Some maid of honor I am, huh? But I was only her maid of honor because she moved to a nasty little chicken farm town in GA, alienated her friends, and made a number of bad decisions that keep her broke and housebound. She had no one else and it was her own fault. Oh, and she was planning to milk me for every penny she could. Unfortunately for her, my stable job and working fiance pay our bills, and we do put our bills and responsibilities first, so there really wasn’t anything left for her. You know her church offered her a choice between a wedding shower and free catering for her wedding? Guess which she chose. Then she tried getting our father to do all the cooking and serving. I sound like a terrible person and sister, but I’m still mad. I held all this in, kept a smile on my face, and stayed supportive for her. I did everything I could do for her because in spite of all the crap, I love her and this was her big day. With her date literally 2 month in the year before my chosen date, October 8th, which I had announced before her, as well. All that aside, I sucked it up, put a smile on my face, made the trip to the most disgusting town in GA, and did my best to make sure she had a great day. And it turned out alright. I wouldn’t have chosen blue and orange for my colors, but Rosanna and I have always been incredible opposites.

Family. Oh, tumblr, will you ever hear the end of my family troubles? DRAFT END

Here’s my thoughts, several years later.  Rosanna is stuck in a holier than thou, victim mentality. I was so angry when I wrote the above post, because I was tired of the competition. It didnt stop after this, either. Years later, long after I went no contact with her, she scheduled her baby shower to be on my daughters birthday. She knew from family that that day was my daughters birthday, but she didnt care. Rosanna was the favorite. The golden child that got what she wanted. We were raised in constant competition with each other. She was the normal child that my parents could understand and support. I was the troubled child that liked weird things and they didnt understand. Thats a whole thing to write another day. 

Ive been no contact with my sister for years, and I dont regret it. She’s not a good person, she doesnt make healthy, responsible decisions, and she uses her christian god as a weapon and validation for her toxicity. “You dont need antidepressants, you need god.” was probably the final straw for me. Shes homophobic, ignorant, and so very self absorbed. She doesnt care that she hurts people. Im past being sad about the disconnect.  I dont know what else to write, so Im going to end this here. 

[callioope]

I'm this close to finishing the first draft of my rebelcaptain fencing AU... yes, I know I've been saying that since NaNoWriMo 2020. My new year's resolution for 2023 is to finish and post it!

In the meantime, here's a brief summary, a link to the snippet from chapter one, and a snippet from chapter two.

Description: A rising star in youth fencing, Jyn Erso was once on track to become an Olympic-level athlete. But then, age 16, she quit unexpectedly. Her break from fencing unraveled her life. Three years later, she still refuses to discuss the subject, even with her father, a former Olympic medalist, and her best friend, Bodhi, who’s just returned from competing in the Olympics. It’s fine, it’s working – until she meets Cassian Andor, the kindest, most interesting person she’s ever met. Except for one problem: he’s also an Olympic-level fencer. 

Excerpt from chapter two:

Jyn crosses her arms and waits. She’s elbow to elbow with strangers in the crowded cafe she and Bodhi chose for their weekly lunch. It’s not normally this popular, but it seems the dreary weather has convinced everyone and their mother that a cup of soup sounds quite nice.

Sighing, she glances over her shoulder, towards the filled seating where Bodhi has aggressively commandeered a table. He waves when she catches his eyes. She smiles back, but then looks past him, at the gray sky and gathering water droplets on the windows. 

The days trudge along, minutes dragging like hours. It’s been two weeks since she scampered like a coward from Cassian’s home, from a well-cooked meal, from hope and possibility. Sometimes, she thinks she sees him passing on the street or in the hallway, and she ducks into an alcove or a classroom. Saw would be ashamed. That thought does nothing to help, merely reminds her why she’s in this mess in the first place. 

“Order for Erso!” 

She jolts back to the present, sees an employee place their order on the counter: a tray for Jyn’s meal, a tray for Bodhi’s, and two drinks. If only Bodhi hadn’t needed to stake out a table; now she’s stuck trying to balance it all.

“You seem like you’re carrying a lot.”

Turning, she sees her English professor. “Hi, Professor Malbus. My friend went to save a seat.”

He nods. “Chirrut’s doing the same.”

“Well, it’s good to see you.” Jyn moves towards the seating area, but her professor keeps talking.

“While you’re here,” he starts. It sounds ominous, and it occurs to Jyn that had her food been called just twenty seconds earlier, perhaps she could have avoided this conversation entirely.  “I wanted to talk to you about your last paper.”

“Oh.” Yeah, bad feeling justified. 

“I appreciate you handing it in early,” he says. The writing takes her mind off things. “But it seems a little rushed. You still have time before the deadline, if you want to take another stab at it.”

His phrasing pierces her a little more pointedly than he probably realizes. Am I really this sensitive to it after all this time? What doesn’t help is that she’d actually spent quite a bit of time mulling over that assignment. 

“Of course, professor.” 

He frowns. “I’m sorry — you’re busy. Let’s talk it over in my office hours next week.”

“Thanks.”

Her steps might be a little heavier as she leaves the counter area and winds her way through the seating, but at least she’s pretty sure they wouldn’t qualify as outright stomping. 

At least this day couldn’t possibly get any worse.

Midway through the seating, she realizes she has no idea where she’s going, and she looks around again for Bodhi.

And instead, she finds Cassian.

Never think it can’t get worse, she reminds herself.

In fact, Cassian is, for some reason, talking to Bodhi, so at least she’s succeeded in locating her final destination. 

She stands there staring for far too long, other customers bumping past her, until Cassian glances away from Bodhi just for a second, just long enough to accidentally meet her gaze. 

She wonders if she looks as caught off guard as he does. 

Bodhi follows Cassian’s gaze. “Oh, finally!”

His words jumpstart her mind, and she covers the remaining distance between them. 

During that time, her mind screams, “How the hell do you two know each other!”

But instead, she says, “Sorry for the wait.”

“It’s fine,” they both answer her, although Cassian’s sounds a little less sincere.

All three of them frown. Bodhi and Cassian glance back and forth between each other and her in confusion.

Slightly faster on the uptake — she did have a split second advantage — Jyn places Bodhi’s food in front of him, all the while avoiding the intensity of Cassian’s gaze. “So,” she says, staring at her seat but not getting into it, “how do you two know each other?” 

“I — we — what?” Bodhi says. He shakes his head as if to shake his thoughts loose. “He’s our bronze medalist in epee.” 

Jyn’s eyes widen, but it shouldn’t be that shocking. She had remembered he’d taken gold at that Junior Olympics all those years ago. Just because she left fencing behind didn’t mean everyone did. Bodhi, after all, had stuck with it.

Before she can respond, Cassian says, “Wait, how do you two know each other?”

Both Jyn and Bodhi hesitate. And then Bodhi sends Jyn a look that somehow manages to be both apologetic and defiant, and says, “We used to train together under Saw Gerrera.”

Cassian meets her wide-eyed gaze with his own. “You’re… Jyn Erso?”

Sighing, she settles into the seat next to Bodhi. “Yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“Wrong f-word.”

His gaze bores into hers, like he’s trying to figure her out. She thinks — she hopes — that maybe he has enough information to understand why she ran, since she hasn’t been able to find the words to explain it. 

“Well…” he finally says. “I should go.”

“No one’s going anywhere,” Bodhi says, and they both jerk guiltily toward him, “until we get to the bottom of this.”

That wasn’t the line, Jyn thinks inanely. But Bodhi thinks as fast as either of them, maybe faster, and apparently has no need to ask the same question a third time.

When he doesn’t continue, Jyn says warily, “There’s no … bottom… Bodhi…”

“Yes, there is, and you both are stuck in it.” 

She looks down at her food, pokes her salad with her fork.

“It’s fine,” Cassian says. “You don’t need to—”

“Sit!”

Startled into compliance, Cassian sits. Despite everything, Jyn smirks. Cassian, it would seem, is less familiar with Bodhi’s determined “I will aggressively logic you into happiness” routine. It really only works because disappointing him is literally the worst feeling in the world, worse even than losing a fencing bout had been, once upon a time. And that’s really saying something because she wasn’t the most gracious loser.

“You’re miserable,” he starts, pointing at Jyn with his own fork, “because you haven’t seen that photographer chef since that date two weeks ago. You know, the one where you were all, ‘this is the best date I’ve ever been on’…”

“Whoa.” Jyn’s eyes dart nervously between Bodhi and Cassian. “I didn’t say it like —”

“And you’re miserable,” Bodhi says, turning to Cassian, “because the last date you went on, two weeks ago, the awesome writer undergrad you met left early and hasn’t returned your calls.”

“If she’s not interested,” Cassian says, without looking up from the table, “that’s not her fault.”

Jyn winces like he just thrust his sword into her heart. 

Of course, it would seem that she’d struck him first.

[luimagines]

*walks in tiredly, offers you a mug of tea, downs my own like a shot, makes it like the Wild 100 years ago* Hey there, hope you're doing well today ^^

Probably long ask so uh, warning and apologies in advance. I'm glad the Lustrous ask was seemingly well received? XD It's just a snippet of a bigger thing, I'm writing a full thing for them when I have the time (along with a series for the Fairy Tale prompts, which I also have snippets of if anyone's interested?) which I'll post later and tag you if you're interested, plus you listened to me basically just come into your little corner of the internet and ramble about a crossover of a series you're not familiar with and LU, so it's only fair since it basically inspired me to keep going, so thank you ^^. Although, uh, Citrine/Little Link won't have a good time, apologies in advance, I blame the evil moon people. Yeah sorry he's probably going to pull a Time or Sky in the bad sense. That was an exchange from a draft of chapter 4 and English is not my first language even though I've been using it more for years, so that's likely why it's off, I apologize for that. Also I promised I'd come here and scream about how much I adore your writing of the boys (and once again, thank you for posting, great pick me up after a rough week that really does make me want to walk right into a Guardian beam, so here we go while I can even if I may need to split this in two if I hit the word limit.

Also the small family with Warriors and Wind is so wholesome, I think I went under from cavities alone (or maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, eh), please let the Link’s have parents and parental figures who stick around and don’t contribute to their trauma universe and Wind and Aryll are definitely up there in both deserving and needing it a lot, had to say I laughed at Warriors not being as thrilled by the crab as someone who makes friends with them and seagulls every time I’m near the ocean, they’re neat little fellas ^^, Poor Legend probably ain’t gonna be thrilled to find one on his clothes though, I know I wasn’t before figuring out how to keep them out, also, Reader comforting Aryll- just yes, also Wind’s grandma is the best I don’t make the rules. Sick Reader is such a mood, the boy's reactions hurt to read though it's really heartwarming how much they care, perfectly in character, 10/10, would definitly die over it again. Reader being good with a bow made me chuckle and smile because the irony of being familiar with a bow and seeing Reader and Wild excited of it reminds me of when I first picked it up, sweet and humorous and I adore it. Four getting a taste of his own medicine- *cackles hard in current Minish Cap player and Manga reader of it and Four Swords* That's what you get for your canonical flirting boy! He was as bad as Warriors and look where it got him XD Also he's so gone for Reader's Colors and Reader in general, it's sweet and just really good, I love it so much, plus the Reader’s colors have so much personality and it’s great. The Fear Room, goodness THE FEAR ROOM. I'm going to need to save it in for another ask because there are so many little details that I adore and I am a sucker for horror and it's too good- 20/10, would scare my poor dog again over my pain and elation.

Reader accidentally spilling who’s their favorite (and suffering as a result) also makes me cackle and smile a lot, it’s soft and sweet and each Link being so elated by it is literally so sweet (though Time, Wild, and Twilight literally murdered me during that segment, not a bad cause of death all things considered, but how dare all Link’s be so sweet? Like I’m already dead here, shoveled dirt into my box and everything, no need to try finishing me off), na interesting detail is how Hyrule and Legend both have the almost immediate reaction of asking why, dunno if it’s intentional or not but it’s a very neat touch, like you don’t have to elaborate but either way they’d happy if you did decide to which reflects really well with their characters. Four overreacting the second Reader takes it back (be smothe, smithy boy, specially so you don’t plot), Sky being sweet but oh so oblivious and basically killing Reader and Warriors being flattered, Wind just being triumphant in general and wanting to make Reader smile, Wild basically getting a critical hit in, Twilight and Time existing, it’s just so nice and I am soft. Plus the consistent and cackle worthy betting always makes me wheeze.

Speaking of betting, the Link’s being so gone for a tall S/O is both hilarious, consistency I greatly appreciate and a mood, plus the lines where definitely on point for sudden hilarity (“They got family?” “They took all your height” “And ours too-“ “Twilight wondering why he got none of that” absolutely sent me, great pick me up after a generally bad time existing), and all of them being soft and just so happy their S/O is in their lives and how they can show them off when meeting in each Hyrule is really wholesome, plus the consistent betting and friendly teasing which really sells how they are as close as brothers is really nice to see.

Soft Fierce Deity, honestly the main thing I can say coherently is that if the favorite scenario, and then the meeting scenarios slayed me, then this man came into my house and stole all my bones before killing me again in a good way because I am too soft, I have a really soft spot for the Fierce Deity, and the way you write for him is great and we usually don’t see much for him in any corner of the Zelda (or adjacent) Fandoms, it’s in character sure because Nintendo has a tendency of mentioning deities in Zelda or Link variants and then just refusing to elaborate, but it always makes me happy to see people write stuff for him among other things, 50/10.

How to Be a Heartbreaker delights me, always nice to see Warriors being the flustered one instead and his and Reader’s banter (and Twilight cameo) gives me life, I could probably write a small essay on why it delights me so much, but again word limit so let’s move on, maybe during another ask or something.

... Actually maybe I should save the oneshots for another individual ask, more organized that way.

Anyway, onto there’s only one bed! Also know as, Wild killing me with cackling that had my dog nuzzling me with concern and being my spirit animal all in one go, never change Wild Child, knew there was a reason you managed to bring me back to the Zelda fandom, me trying and failing not to be soft for Warriors, soldier boy deserves good things and it’s really sweet how much he cherishes reader, and me and Legend having the same trauma (aka KOHOLINT, if I could I’d fistfight the Windfish, I can’t go to the beach without a seagull being nearby and remembering Marin, specially with the friendly ones who actually come by just to stare and chirp for a while and it hurts), the fact he doesn’t want Reader to look down on him, because he doesn’t want them to leave him like how he basically lost or was left by most people in his life, the correlation with when he was stranded at sea, Reader comforting him- Just yes, bless the veteran. Flustered Reader is also my spirit animal, and cat Reader delights me to no end,  thank you once more for the wonderful contente and all your work in the fandom!

Also, while the urge to nap has not yet claimed me yet (and with hopefully the Tumblr wordcount not vibe checking me), I saw an ask about Time/Mask/Sprite with a resistance leader s/o? May I raise an idea/au of this au that’s been haunting me every second when I’m not doing anything much? Resistant Leader in the pre-timeskip timeline (aka The Child Timeline) started out as a Terminan Thief, that’s why Mask didn’t run into them when first going to get the Master Sword, they haven’t left Termina yet. The first contact Mask had with them after the timeskip was when they stole his wallet as a Deku Scrub, ran from him on the second day and then vanished on the third day. After the loop starts Thief/would be Resistant Leader Reader is somehow always just there, stealing random stuff from him and generally making his life harder (he would like to know how they snatched the Bunny Hood from his head and the Gilded Sword without him noticing, please? But Thief Reader definitely ain’t going to start divulging tricks of the trade) but always vanish on the third day before he can really stop them to talk, so honestly done and just really wanting to know why someone he remembers as this really amazing, confidente and badass leader would be acting like this (because it honestly doesn’t seem in character, given they were fighting Ganon for so long and stalled him several times on his search for Link) and just really missing a friend and being tired of these loops, he manages to follow them, maybe Reader was in a spot of trouble with other thieves and couldn’t get out of it unless they stole a certain quantity of rupees or rare items, and by the final day they snap and that’s why Link doesn’t see them (maybe the Gorman Brothers? If Reader spoke out and maybe tried using one of his stolen weapons to have a go at them for attacking Cremia and Romani if they’re close, although it’s generally ambigous, maybe it could be someone from Ganon’s former band of thieves who ran to Termina, and that’s why they became a Rebellion Leader in the timeskip? They couldn’t leave, saw what Ganon was going to do to Hyurle went, “Hm. Don’t really like that!” and probably fought their way out, maybe getting other thieves to speak up and rally together as well and it just escalated?) Either way, Mask sees what’s happening and that they probably can’t get out of it alone like usual and helps them because that’s HIS friend lord darn it he hasn’t seem them in forever and thought he wouldn’t ever see them again, the first familiar face since maybe Lullaby and Malon he’s seen in a while, he isn’t leaving them behind (casually raising my headcanon of Fae possesiviness being Time’s fault in the bloodline if we want to figure out where Hyrule’s came from, because the Kokiri are basically another branch of Fae and have fairies near them), and as thanks they not only give him his items of whichever loop his in back but maybe something of their own as well to remember, and help him out with the rest of the tasks or a temple (probably by somehow getting him the dungeon item, or a few dubiously acquired potions ahead of time), but if he had to reset they get caught up in it and actually remember the previous loop, given the way they just SPRINTED through Clock Town on the first day and instead of being subtle like always to steal something, they just bowl him over in a glomp and start checking him over, breaking the pattern.

Cue a bit of panic, several explanations and either an ear pull, cursing or stealing of rupees and holding masks hostage as revenge (and the threat of leaving him with nothing but the clothes on his back if he tries stopping them from helping, oh you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve done this now? And don’t want me to get hurt? Well too bad I am not letting you do this alone, News flash, technically I’ve already been hurt I’m not losing the one person who bothered to help me), and now he has an impromptu loop buddy to help him out even if it’s through questionable means after they usually deal with whichever other thief is around first. Maybe if after he defeats Majora and goes to leave he doesn’t tell Thief Reader, assuming they don’t want to come with since he’s caused them a lot of trouble and they’re technically free to do as they please now, only he can’t, because Thief Reader absconded with two more things of him: One of his earring’s, and the Fierce Deity Mask, which they are cheekily  waving to show off to him atop Clocktower, the earring on their own ears. (And seriously? HOW?!) Shenanigans ensue, maybe a chase or two, and Mask acquires himself a travel companion on top of Epona, Tatl and Tael on his search for Navi.

And honestly? Chaotic and bullheaded as they are and probably something of a magpie to boot, he wouldn’t have picked anyone else. You can hold your own and you’ve been ride or die with him twice over now, if that isn’t a sign you’re sticking around he doesn’t know what is.

Or something, idk, I’m running on three hours of sleep, maybe someone with more energy can expand on this into the War of Ages later or I’ll do it myself (Wind would have the best/worse role model ever, given ya know, Pirate and really light footed, feather touched and chaotic thief, Warriors is having heart attacks every five seconds even if he has to admit that when Thief Reader is going for soldier’s who talked badly about him, Mask, Wind, Ravio or Zelda is the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen and that one time they stole Cia's staff and were going to bash her over the head, Ravio is probably side eying them the whole time or seeing a business opportunity, Artemis and them trade tips due to her Sheik alter ego and both Mask and Warriors have to drag them away from one another, the possibilities are endless). I just find the idea of the Link’s with any morally dubious, but clearly cares a lot and wouldn’t hesitate to cut or bite someone for them amusing. Gives way for some interesting dynamics, like say Twilight and cattle raider reader (aka the cowboy/wild west themed rivalry au that I will not elaborate on), or Warriors with an Assassin Reader, or Wild with a mercenary reader, the possibilities are infinite folks.

Also also, if for some reason Mask and Thief Reader got separated before LU, and they reunite as Time and Still a Thief but much closer to their Rebellion Couterpart Reader. And their reunion basically goes like that one Puss in Boots, or the Lion King one scene: Thief Reader: *Holding dagger to throat, teeth bared as they just managed to steal the Fierce Deity Mask for the 10987th time from this strange man they don’t recognize after he gave chase, pauses for a couple of seconds in disbelieving, shocked recognition, dropping the blade*... Link?

Time: *Also in fight mode and ready to kick the attacker off of him and getting the mask back, actually takes a good look at their face and pauses in shock, long dead hope suddenly burning again, hesitant* (... Reader)? Thief Reader: *Not even hesitating to throw themselves at him in a hug with a slightly teary laugh* LINK! Time: *hugging them back just as tight, still somewhat in disbelief* (Reader).

Thief Reader: *pausing as they notice the Fierce Deity’s marks, flashbacks to all the times they told Mask not to over do it on the battlefield with it because they saw how much it hurt and affected him even if the Deity is pretty chill with them, chillingly livid as they level the tone at him, you know the one, pulling at one of his ears* ...Link.

Time, Knowing he is in danger as he recognizes that tone: ... (Reader). *wisely stays silent as they smack him hard on the shoulder and starting the lecture of a lifetime, silently glad Malon also isn’t here because she’d probably join you, but also just glad you’re even here to lecture and get mad at him in the first place after so long* The Chain, watching all this drama and telepathy display go down and who just wanted their stolen stuff back: I can just imagine the sheer confusion and bewilderment as to how Time knows this seemingly random thief who stole their stuff and would have probably dipped sucessfully if not by somehow getting Wild’s Slate, the Fierce Deity Mask and almost all of Legend’s rings at the same time and why they’re arguing like an old married couple about self care of all things. Most amusing reactions probably going for Twilight, Wild, Legend, Warriors and Wind. Or something, i’m probably not making much sense.

Anyway, I’ve probably bothered you with my rambling enough for one day xD Thank you once again for all your work in the fandom, maybe I’ll have more stuff on Lustrous reader or even Vessel reader next I’m by but until then, thank you ^^.

-Signed, Just a Tired Anon on A Stroll 🐚.

Anon!!! Hello again!!

NOT MY BOY LUCKY DX NOT LITTLE LINK!!!!! WHAT DO MEAN BAD TIME LIKE TIME AND SKY?!?!?!

But also, please tag in anything. I'm so intrigued and I want more fairytale stuff. Go ahead. XD

I'm glad you like the oneshots! Please tell me more of your thoughts on the Fear Room o.o I'm not big on horror so I'm glad it got the terror across ^.^*

And Fierce Deity and How to be a Heartbreaker and other because I want to hear all your thoughts. XD

And what do you mean Twilight- wild west au- rivalry?!?!? Hello!!?!??! You can't just drop that and say you won't elaborate!!!!

But this idea with theif! Reader is a good one :D

Clearly, you put a lot of thought into it and there's just so much potential.

The boys are all awkward and shuffling in the background as Time gets scolded because they're not sued to the leader cower back like that and even then he's not even trying to defend himself at this point and they're just staring. "....Who is this person?"

"No clue, but the Old Man finally got what was coming to him."

"I feel like my parents are fighting."

"I know them..." Warrior sighs. "I guess they haven't change at all."

Multiple heads turn to look at him.

He puts his hands up. "I'm not saying anything."

[princematcha]

200!! wowowow

for my bubbabuabababy’s birthday & 200 followers, i am doing a 4/20 event! v simple, v much here just to have a time. just wanted 2 say thank you <3 (also happy bday katsu)

BELOW YOU’LL FIND! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

four katsuki birthday themed drabbles released during week of april 17-23 (at least 300 words)

and 

a list of 20 prompts & asks! (answering from now until april 23)

building castles in the sky [date tbd]

summary: mornings with just the two of you are his favorite

what makes life divine [date tbd]

summary: bakugou thought his birthday surprise would have a little more clothes

en ce moment [date tbd]

summary: rumours say nothing can drag him away from work except for the alarm on his watch telling him that his shift is over. maybe a pretty face can.

soak in all your heat [date tbd]

summary: he might’ve had too much to drink 

bunni asks

1. pick a number from 1-75 and i’ll post that draft (they’re mostly shit posts)

2. handwriting asks

wip asks || pick a number from 1-19 [credit]

3. first few sentences from any of my wips

4. last few sentences from any of my wips

5. tell me to write a sentence for any of my wips and i’ll post it

6. give me a word and i’ll find it in my wips

7. i’ll give a short summary on a wip

writing prompts (PROBABLY 250+ WORDS)

[bnha, ohshc, hq, hxh] u can ask if i write for a char

8. only one bed

9. fake dating

10. team building exercises

11. someone getting saved from a bad date

12. “You’re cold.” “Am not.”

13. “You got...?” “Yeah.”

14. “Is that my shirt?”

15. “I’ve never met a more stubborn person in my life.” “You like it.” “Do I?”

art asks || give me a color 

16. small sketch of any char, no lines

17. small sketch of any char, no coloring

18. tell me something abt yourself & i’ll draw a funky lil animal as u

author asks

19. continue on in the bouncer!bkg au

20. deleted scene from tall buildings (slightly nsfw)