#it just hit me that those two songs sound kinda similar. guys you see it right

[mayoiayasep]

switch could do tricologe and niigo could do romancing cruise

[goodbysunball]

Left in the sun

Four more hits from the musically rich vein of 2023. Take a breath and bask in these before the next wave hits. These'll keep your head above water in the midst of everything else; if nothing else, they'll airlift you outta here for a bit. You deserve the break, and these deserve your attention.

Brain Tourniquet, ...An Expression in Pain LP (Iron Lung)

Brain Tourniquet return after two 7" records to deliver an interesting take on the tricky proposition of a powerviolence LP: nine fast tracks and one side-long burner. If I didn't see the band play most of these songs last summer, including the 10-minute title track, I don't think I'd be too keen on the idea, but the trio delivers yet another winner with ...An Expression in Pain. Brain Tourniquet's take on west coast powerviolence has always been distinguished by clarity, a relatively clean sound with as much space as can be afforded on sub-minute tracks. This always makes the slow breakdowns hit much harder in my opinion, the listener swallowed by quicksand or a sinkhole just as they get their footing. It's still true here: "The Depths of Human Suffering (Are Boundless)" and "Exit Life" provide two of the record's heaviest moments. If I have one complaint about the record, it's that these slow parts seem a bit thin compared to those on earlier records, but overall the presentation here is (surprisingly) refreshingly clear. There's a more pronounced classical heavy metal influence here that the crisp production highlights, like the showy guitar line on "Empire of Misery," but it's an incremental addition, not one that smothers the ferocity with technical prowess. Same goes for the sidelong title track: it's everything Brain Tourniquet does well, splayed open and presented for close inspection or ready for your next at-home circle pit. Big chunky riffs give way to grindcore and then quickly pivot to thrashing punk and even make room for some psychedelic soloing at the midway point. It's a bad, bad trip, and one that someone owes the drummer some money for - he deftly navigates the band off and back on the rails repeatedly from start to finish. The whole thing's over and out in 20 minutes, and paced well so that you're not gasping for breath at the end, giving ...An Expression In Pain replay value that something similar like World Extermination, as amazing as that record is, does not have for me. Recommended even for those with just a passing interest in powerviolence or grindcore; go see 'em if they ever tour near you and it'll all make sense.

Mystic 100's, On a Micro Diet 2xLP (Listening House)

I've read a couple items on this Mystic 100's (née Milk Music) album, and most of them have an apologetic air, making excuses as to why they still mostly like what they hear while acknowledging that nothing on here sounds like "Fertile Ground." The band isn't, and hasn't been, anywhere near where they started as Milk Music over a decade ago, now reaching their final form as Mystic 100's and fully embracing the classic rock sound they've teased on the last two LPs. Wide-open and slow is the approach here, every guitar chord ringing out like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, solos searing like the light reflecting off of rippling water. "Message From Lonnie" is maybe my favorite example, the languid pace of the track a rare and refreshing take on the stretched-out portions of On the Beach, the band sounding as vulnerable as I can ever recall. The other obvious choice cut would be the 19-minute "Have You Ever Chased a Lightbeam?," that one also slowly navigating the landscape but with a heavy whiff of Pink Floyd in its wake. It features one of the best bass line/free guitar match-ups in recent memory, a mind-expanding track that you kinda always knew these guys had in 'em. Most of the 75-minute On a Micro Diet follows the lead of the two aforementioned tracks, though it'd probably be a bit of a slog if the whole album followed that same recipe for success. "Windowpane" is the only concession the band makes to Milk Music fans, sounding like that something that could've ended up on the previous two records, and of course we're gonna have to talk about "Drug Man." This song, which leads off the second side, is going to make a lot of people unhappy; populated by lyrics that sound like some sort of inside joke, vocal delivery that almost definitely is some sort of joke, and cheesy white man blues licks, "Drug Man" is definitely the outlier here. But, the way that the song deteriorates and opens up on the back half is of a piece with the rest of the album, shimmering guitars acting as some sort of lifeline or light at the end of the tunnel. A lot of the open spaces created by the band here sound like something you'd hear on a free improvisation record, the band letting the individual sounds slowly create tension in a vacuum, before exploding back onto the scene with a perfectly timed chord or solo. Might be showing my age a bit, or maybe it's just that stifling hot southeastern summers are perfectly suited for such slow music, but stuff like On a Micro Diet hits perfectly for me now. If you liked recent records such as Heron Oblivion's self-titled album (of course you did) or Shawn David McMillen's On the Clock w/ JJ & Mitch, this new Mystic 100's will scratch that itch and then some. Amazing return from this group, not even dulled by the accompanying $120 Online Ceramics sweatshirts.

Olimpia Splendid, 2 LP (Fonal/Kraak)

This second album from Olimpia Splendid was among my most anticipated for the year, and I'm glad to report that there's been no dip in quality in the eight years since the self-titled LP came out. Even with the long gap between albums, I'm still struggling to come up with the proper adjectives to describe the band's sound. They take three guitars and a drum machine and make bad-trip psychedelic rock, replete with lots of repetition and harshly whispered gremlin vocals, and wrap it into a package that's both deeply hypnotic and unnerving. What's new this time around is the band's ability to gain traction and give some forward momentum to the tracks, whereas previous songs were more likely to get drunk on repetition and peter out. I don't think there's anything wrong with either approach, but I'm really enjoying the tense churn and groove of tracks like "Jacksonin Paita" and "Nicotinella," both given just the slightest hint of structure and then mowed down by these powerful and patient distorted guitar lines. My favorite track here is "Agda," where the electronic backing track makes it sound like Merzbow is playing next door while the guitar lines slowly ramp up the tension during the song's eight minutes. It's a track I could imagine the band teasing out for 20 minutes in the live setting, and that'd be just fine by me. No one's making music like Olimpia Splendid, and while that's something that's always been true, the bar to emulate their sound just got raised several notches with 2. Easily one of the best records of the year, if not the best. Finland, here I come.

Primitive Man & Full of Hell, Suffocating Hallucination LP (Closed Casket Activities)

File this one under "collaborations I didn't know I wanted": the smothering black sludge of Primitive Man melding minds with Full of Hell's noise-laced grindcore. To be fair, and this has been pointed out elsewhere, this pretty much feels like a Primitive Man record; such is their sound that it's hard to squeeze anything else onto a track. See opener "Trepanation of Future Joys," a song that could've fit in perfectly on either of the last two Primitive Man releases but featuring Dylan Walker's shredded vocals. But a few listens in, and that feeling starts to fall apart somewhere in the middle of "Rubble Home," where the drums emulate free jazz ferocity, and by the end of the grinding "Bludgeon" the armor's been pierced. I can't find the interview now, but Ethan McCarthy called this Primitive Man's "prettiest" record - and relative to their discography, he's right. The twinkling guitar line on closer "Tunnels to God" is the only obvious proof, but there are some softer edges to the instrumental "Dwindling Will" that would normally be rubbed out in favor of less forgiving textures. It's an unexpected result for a collaboration between these two bands, but it's hardly the defining result. This is an extremely nasty record, where Full of Hell flexes all the attention to detail that can get lost in the maelstrom on their own records. The push-pull between the two bands leads to some spine-chilling dynamics on "Trepanation of Future Joys," the sound dropping out to come roaring back with waves of crushing guitar and earsplitting noise. If you've been following either band, Suffocating Hallucination is a great example and extension of what both Full of Hell and Primitive Man have been doing for the last few years: slowly refining their respective sounds into well-sharpened blades cloaked in noise. It's way better than the sum of its parts, and while familiar on the surface, there's enough going on underneath, like the homage to the Body's "Ruiner" on "Rubble Home," to keep me coming back. There are four different LP cover variations to go along with approximately 800 vinyl variants, so you won't have a problem tracking down a copy - but please do.

[heniareth]

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

[writingssummit]

Hi I just read you’re tsukishima story and it was so cute omg but I have an idea

Let’s say y/n has a huge crush on tsukishima since they were children right. But tsukishima never rlly liked y/n in that way. So he would always like be kinda aggressive but like not in the physical way, like he would be cold to her whenever y/n would constantly say something abt them dating. In reality he did like her but he didn’t realize it. Then suddenly a new guy shows up, he’s like really handsome and he’s in a small band, he plays the bass. Y/n actually listens to that band and she was so excited so the two of them click really easy, that’s when she starts being distant with tsukishima and stops the talks abt them dating, tsukishima starts to miss everything y/n would say to him and he wanted to get y/n back, but when he tries he sees y/n and the guy sharing a peck 😔‼️ sorry if this was longgggg ugh

a/n: ahhh! I’m glad you thought so, haha! don’t worry about the length, specifics are always welcome! <3 this is a really good idea! i think it ended up on the longer side, but yk, more content is good? i also ended up naming him, so it’s easier to refer to him. i keep holding on to highschool settings i’m sorry LMAO- i haven’t finished season 4 and i’m not reading the manga yet :( but anyways, here’s a bit of angst/unrequited love to balance out my recent fluff posts !

asks/requests: open !

word count: 2.6k

warnings?: some angst/unrequited love

worth a try.

- TSUKISHIMA KEI -

growing up with tsukishima had been a whirlwind of experiences. ever since you had moved and transferred to his school the last year of primary school, you’d been drawn to him. the tall, blonde kid with glasses. you found his pride in volleyball admirable, and you even found him to be so much cooler than you ever would be.

you originally didn’t know anybody when you first moved, but you fit right in with both tsukishima and his own friend. it was a strange combination, but it worked somehow. while tsukishima was rude, and yamaguchi timid, you were loud and energetic. you were lively. you challenged him just for the fun of it, you poked and prodded, just having fun being around him.

you were his self-declared best friend.

looking back on it, you probably always had feelings for tsukishima. back in those days when you tried to get into volleyball yourself. wanting to be like him, you tried your best, but you weren’t all that good. he would make fun of you for it, but you weren’t bothered by settling for being supportive of him and your freckled friend. You were just as passionate as they were about it.

you were even there when that passion jaded. watched as he stared at his brother from across the game.

it was when you started junior high, that you came to the conclusion that you were in love with your friend. but unlike most people, you did nothing to hide it. why would you? you were always open, always honest and straight to the point. you just weren’t one to hide that.

“go out with me, tsukki!” you poked his side with a cheeky grin, your eyes bright. your friend wasted no time in rejecting you.

“no.”

“aw, you sure?”

“i would never date somebody so stupidly annoying.” you shook off the blatant insult, laughing instead with your hand on your neck. a small thing you picked up from your other friend. yamaguchi.

“you’ll come around one day!”

“i doubt that.”

it went on like that all throughout your remaining years until high school. a constant back and forth that became a schedule at that point.

it was decided that tsukishima would be going to karasuno, as would yamaguchi. and so would you. you would go where they go, you’d never thought about leaving them both. you’d stay with them as long as possible, holding on to their friendship like it was your lifeline..

and holding onto tsukishima even more so.

you were there with them on the first day, when they joined volleyball club. that first practice match against aoba johsai.

you weren’t always watching their practices, since you had your own club duties to attend to of course. but you always made sure to stop by the clubroom while the boys were getting ready, just to say hi to everyone and to a certain someone.

“hey, hey!” you poked your head from around the door, waving a hand. the team greeted you cheerfully enough, minus tsukishima. who looked annoyed to no end.

“tsukki, wanna go grab something to eat after your practice? i know a really great spot!”

he didn’t even look at you, only giving you the middle finger.

you laughed, shrugging. “worth a try.”

the first time the team had witnessed your very forward approach to asking the extremely salty and crude boy out, they were surprised. the way he turned you down so effortlessly too, threw them off. the added shock of anybody even liking him was the cherry on top.

“is this normal?” sugawara asked, a chuckle falling from his lips. asahi was beside him, sweatdropping at the sight of your affectionate display, and tsukishima’s obvious lack of reciprocation.

yamaguchi smiled awkwardly, nodding. “well- yeah, actually. It’s been happening for years.”

“i’d kill to have somebody all over me like that! lucky bastard!” tanaka held his fist up dramatically, as if clenching his heart in it. he even had a tear in the corner of his eye.

“well then, i’ll be on my way! good practice, everyone!” you chirped, finally leaving them.

“l/n’s got some serious determination.” tanaka whistled.

“misplaced determination. they won’t shut up about dating, it’s annoying.” tsukishima didn’t sound as impressed as his loud senpai was.

yamaguchi tilted his head to the side. “really? i would’ve thought tha-”

“shut up.”

a small laugh. “sorry, tsukki.”

it would forever continue, it seemed like. you never thought you’d give it up, you always knew that you liked tsukishima. your heart would pound, your stomach would feel fluttery. but even though you’ve been with him since you were children, it didn’t seem like he’d grown to feel the same. it would get you down sometimes, his mean and harsh words whenever you’d bring it up. either casually, or intentionally.

you couldn’t help being so hopelessly whipped!

you were walking down the sidewalk with yamaguchi and tsukishima, humming along to a new song that had been dropped recently. you were so into it, strumming your fingers like you were the one playing in the recording. tsukishima watched you with critical eyes, but yamaguchi watched as if this was entertaining.

“new song, l/n?” yamaguchi asked you, and you paused the music. you nodded right away, grinning.

“yeah! there’s this kind of new band I found a bit ago, i think around the time you guys met nekoma for that first practice match? their music is so cool!” you could go on and on about them, to be honest. they may be small, and very underground, but you liked them anyways.

“wahh, they sound cool- right, tsukki?” yamaguchi and you both looked behind at him, faces expecting the same sentiment.

he only scoffed.

you roll your eyes playfully, sidling up to him for the first time today. “you want to go get some ice cream, tsukki?” you wished, hoped for him to just say yes for once. your heart was begging at this point.

“get out of my face, l/n.” he said coldly.

with a defeated sigh, you walked a few steps quicker, before unpausing the music. the humming resumed, and yamaguchi glanced back and forth between you both with a weary expression.

“you could try to be a bit nicer, tsukki-”

“they can’t take a damn hint, it’s not my job to be nice about it.” He said stubbornly.

yamaguchi sighed himself, nodding along. there wasn’t a point in continuing the topic; he always shut it down whenever yamaguchi brought it up. he’s never been so aggressive about something before.

interhigh had come, taking up your friend’s time with it. you were upset that they’d be so busy now, but with the new tournament coming, came a new student.

he was friendly, and cheerful, and honestly probably one of the most charming people you’ve ever met in your life. he even looked familiar to you, like you’ve seen him somewhere before. you couldn’t figure it out, so you just opted to the conclusion you must have just passed him down the street at some point. or some strange case of deja vu? either way, he was in your class now.

you were just coming back from the bathroom, your earbuds plugged into your ears like they usually were nowadays.

“l/n, please take your earbuds out, it’s class time.” iour teacher scolded you gently, and you pouted a little. It was just getting to a good part-

you had tugged on them a little too hard, and instead of just getting them out of your ears, they came out of the headphone jack completely.

you were embarrassed as your new favorite band’s music started blasting out of the phone’s speakers, and you hurried to turn it off. You were blushing, laughing at yourself as you went to go sit back down.

ahh, dang! everyone heard that! you were just laughing at yourself in your head now.

there was a tap on your desk, and you turned your face towards the hand. it was the new kid, and his face looked bright.

“you listen to my band’s music?” he whispered to you, his face beaming, and you gasped quietly.

“is this you?” you pointed at your pocket, where your phone rested. he nodded.

“that’s so- wow, i go to school with one of the people in my favo-”

“l/n, do you have something to say about the lecture?”

you shook your head violently, holding back a huge grin. “n-no, miss!” your teacher sighed, and continued past the interruption.

the looks you both shared didn’t go unnoticed by tsukishima.

everyday now, you were hanging around the new kid. you had come to learn his name, which was ishiwaka teruo. you both had hit it off instantly, it was like you guys had known each other forever, and not just a few weeks. it was almost like some crazy twist of fate, or luck. you guys were both alike in a lot of ways, held similar passions, too.

“see you, ishi!” you waved a hand, grinning as he waved a goodbye back. you guys didn’t take the same way home, so he ended up leaving the opposite direction, while you walked with tsukishima and yamaguchi. you were humming again, one of ishiwaka’s band’s songs.

“you seem pretty happy, l/n.” yamaguchi chuckled, watching as you danced a little. 

“oh yeah, you bet! ishi actually invited me to sit in for one of his practices, isn’t that so cool? he plays the bass, and he even offered to teach me a few chords. i don’t really mess with instruments, but-”

“can you shut up about him? all you do is just yap on and on about this guy, hanging out with him isn’t enough for you? what’s so special anyways?” his tone was harsh, and condescending. “if you’re just going to talk about him all the time, i’m not walking with you guys anymore.” your eyes widened as soon as you heard what tsukishima had just said. your heart was pounding, like it had been caught in the act of something terrible. you even felt slightly ashamed.

“wow, nice, tsukki. sorry for being excited about something.” you muttered, clutching your bag straps tight. what did you expect at this point? he didn’t like you as much as you thought, if he was so ready to just leave you behind. yamaguchi sensed the tension between you both, which made him uncomfortable.

you were all quiet for the rest of the way home.

interhigh came and went, the loss against aoba johsai stung the volleyball team, leaving their spirits broken, and cracked. you hadn’t been to the game that day, busy with a certain band member. and your missing presence hadn’t been looked over.

“where were you?” tsukishima had confronted you in the hallways, while you were walking with ishiwaka to the water fountain. it was break, which meant he could freely talk to you now.

you looked away from him, a nervous air around you that wasn’t like you at all.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t make it, tsukki- i heard that you guys lost, and i’m really sorry i couldn’t have been there!” your words were careful and slow, like you were thinking on how to say the right thing to him.

the blonde closed his eyes, and looked off to the side. he didn’t look pleased in the slightest. “were you with your precious band member? like some kind of groupie.” 

ishiwaka raised an eyebrow, and you just shook your head. tsukishima was really doing this right now? you said sorry, what else were you supposed to say?

“you know what, yeah. i was with him. it’s not like..it’s not like i have to be around you or yamaguchi every second of the day, okay?” you sighed. “look, i’ll make it to your next practice, and skip my club activities. is that fine?”

he hesitated, before giving you a curt nod. you smiled in relief. “great! i’ll see you then. now, about that specific measure-”

you had left him behind, and tsukishima had been hit with a realization.

you hadn’t mentioned going on a date at all. not today, not even within the past few weeks. was something wrong with you? he’d gotten so used to that, but now even that wasn’t a constant.

it was like you were slipping away from him, day by day.

and he realized that he didn’t like that.

as the days went on, thoughts about this ran rampant through his mind. it was maddening, he was trying to focus on school, and now, as he was walking to the clubroom, volleyball. he was scarily silent, and yamaguchi caught onto it right away.

“tsukki?” he asked quietly, not wanting to push. but he wanted to know. ever since tsukishima had come back from break that day, he’d been acting strange. he was even saltier, if that was possible.

“am i not enough for l/n?” he spit out the question, like it was a disease.

taken aback, the freckled boy could only blink. the two stopped walking, looking right at each other now. “what?”

tsukishima barked out a laugh, running a hand over his face in frustration. “you heard me, yamaguchi.”

yamaguchi’s jaw dropped. “do you miss them?” was he for real? was this jealousy actually coming from tsukishima?

“hell if i know.” he muttered. but he knew the answer, and that’s what upset him.

“i knew it. tsukki, why did it have to be now, though?” he shook his head in disbelief. at the utter obliviousness of this boy. yamaguchi knew himself that there was something there in tsukishima, something resembling feelings for you. but of course it was when you were no longer always around that he saw it.

“what?”

“l/n isn’t a puppy anymore, they’re not following after you. if you haven’t noticed, they’ve given up. you need to do this yourself, and fix it.” yamaguchi stated. he wouldn’t be lying if he said that he’d been frustrated with the back and forth between you both, it was so obvious to him, but apparently not obvious to tsukishima. or you, for that matter.

“i know that.” he muttered. he would have to confront you about this. was he stupid? why didn’t he get this before? 

“then do something about it.”

tsukishima was quiet.

it was decided by him that he’d catch you outside of practice, since you said you’d be coming to watch. it was a quick, and impulsive decision from him, but he needed this to be figured out. his head was at it’s most unclear, and that was affecting him.

you were affecting him.

he looked around the outside of the gym, trying to see if he could spot you coming. it took a minute, before he saw a figure off to the side. it was you, he could tell by that bag anywhere. he stepped out, only to be met with the full picture.

you were with ishiwaka, and you were kissing him.

tsukishima hurried back into the gym with a stone-cold expression. oh. so this is where he stood now.

no longer at the top of your list, no longer important.

you walked into the gym, beaming. it angered tsukishima, more than he should have been. he yanked your arm, and held you by them with a vice grip. you looked up at your friend with nervous, maybe even scared eyes. you hadn’t seen tsukishima like this before.

“what is he to you?”

you blinked. “wh-what?”

“who is he to you? that little bass player.” his eyes were searching yours, for anything, anything that he could hold on to. you didn’t respond, only looking away from his intense stare.

your eyes didn’t hold that same look that they used to whenever you looked at him. 

he had his answer. and he didn’t like it. so he let go of you, maybe for real this time. things had changed so much, right under his nose. and he had let it happen.

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms pt3

Part 2 right here! <-

Team RWBY continue their interesting chat about their respective worlds. After the emotional roller coaster that was Weiss’s, a bit of light hearted stories would be welcomed.

Yang:Okay, does anyone have some real feel good things to talk about for their world? Just run of the mill pleasant life?

Ruby:Guess I’m going last....

Yang:Oh no!

Weiss:We’ll circle back to you then. Blake, I guess you’re up.

Blake:Wouldn’t you want calmer stuff at the end?

Yang:Blake, I would very much like to go at least ten minutes without wanting to cry.

Blake:Hmmmm I can guarantee you like...six I think.

Yang:I’ll take it! Blake Belladonna, tell me about a world where you and Jaune Arc are happily married. How did such stars align?

Blake:You make it sound crazy?

Weiss:Blake, there’s list of people I could see you with. Now I’m not saying Jaune couldn’t be one of them, but he’d have to fight his way up that list.

Blake:You...that’s kinda fair. It’s a bit hard to explain really. It happened back at Beacon initially, or our bonding did. Some days his team was busy and I didn’t tag along for the crazy antics you three wanted to do all the time, so we occasionally bumped into each by circumstances. He’d go to the library for a book, I’d do training and he was there, or sometimes he’d knock on our door and not realize I was the only one around.

Weiss:Was he trying to sing to me?

Blake:That plan did show up at our a few times, yes. One of those times I asked him out of nowhere to sing the song anyways because I just had to know if it was any good. Hehe, it wasn’t sonically pleasing at times, but you could tell it was genuine. Eventually though...he just sort of gave up on you. It was actually a little sad to see, even you thought so. It was strange. Jaune was definitely stumbling through his flirting and it came off as childish, yet the day he gave up, it was easy to see his heart was breaking a bit. Like all his insecurities ate even the faux confidence away.

Yang:Ma’am, it has barely been three minutes and I’m getting sad about thinking of Jaune being sad.

Weiss:Yeah don’t tell me I broke his heart!

Blake:Whoops, sorry. It’s important though. Jaune kinda kept to himself a little more after that. He still chatted pretty regularly but it was easy to tell he dived more in studies as a way to keep his head clear, which lead to us being on a project together. I was the only person in our friend group that wouldn’t actively try to make him open up about how he feeling. At first I thought it was a bit rude when he told me that, but I didn’t room to talk when it comes to socializing.

Yang:One more time for the people in the back.

Ruby:I’m the back.

Blake:*smirks* I was very against socializing about my feelings at Beacon.

Ruby:Yeah you were.

Weiss:I couldn’t even ask if you slept well without a lukewarm answer sometimes.

Blake:I’m better now. That’s all that matters. Romance and feeling love is a personal thing and talking about it is uncomfortable. I think we both recognized that in each other during our project. Trouble is, there’s only so many conversation starters and small talk subjects. Talking only about the project was dry and eventually all the facts a person could say about themselves ran out. Favorite food, color, hobbies, etc. We eventually had to dig a little deeper into those topics. To our surprise, we actually more in common than we thought when it came to how we felt about certain pieces of literature and music.

Ruby:Awwww, bonding over smut.

Blake:*red* It wasn’t all adult literature! Some were poems and stuff. Even when the project ended, we began being less formal around each other and hanging out. We went to the bookstores we mentioned and he even got us tickets to bands I liked. It...it was nice. I never really got to have just a normal teenage experience before without it being political. He always felt bad about being average compared to everyone but average was so foreign to me that I welcomed it. I liked having a normal time out. It was a thing we all took for granted. Especially when Beacon fell.

Yang:Yeah, that probably put a real bind on your relationship.

Blake:Actually....we technically never officially started to date.

Ruby:What? You courted each other all of Beacon.

Weiss:Ruby, who the heck says courted? I’m a Schnee and even I have never used the word courted.

Ruby:Hush, I read a lot of bed time stories to a five year old.

Blake:We were a bit shaky on labels. Me for obvious reasons. As for Jaune, it’s really true about what they say about guys when they get heart broken.

Yang: “Never again.”

Blake:Hehehe, it’s funny to look back at it but he’ll tell you it’s a bit cringy. He was so on gaurd. I could tell all the time when he was mentally telling himself to not be excited whenever we hung out or I complimented him.

Ruby:Hey it takes guts to shift feelings to a teammate of your first crush. That could blow up in your face.

Blake:Yeah...about that. *looks at Yang* you...were another reason why nothing was official. You uhhh, we actually had some jumbled up emotions.

Weiss:*sarcastic gasp* You and Yang, liking each other? Who could’ve seen that coming?

Yang:Was it mutual or...

Blake:Very mutual. Also...intimate at times.

Yang:*red* Oh....yeah. Yeah that tracks.

Blake:That jumbled mess was only more confusing after you got hurt trying to rescue me from Adam. Meeting up with-

Ruby:Question, so was Sun just not on your radar?

Blake:Sun? We’re just friends. He’s cute and I’m glad he was there for me when I needed help but things between us were always pretty calm. I think he noticed how confused I was with other people in my life and chose to not add to it.

Ruby:Bless him. Please continue.

Blake:Learning about Salem and reconnecting with you all was a lot. I’d really been out of the loop and my Yang and I were on....shaky ground.

Yang:That’s what happens when you leave someone who’s been left their entire life.

Blake:Sigh...yeah. It was a trying time, but not with JNPR. It’s funny, Oscar and I also hit it off quite well from the jump. I think we were both glad to have each other learn on the craziness at once. Even with readjusting, Jaune and I fell back into a groove naturally. Instead of doing average things we day dreamed of the things we did. Once again we become this little slice of simple life in this crazy adventure. Still didn’t date.

Weiss:What is this, a slow burn!?

Yang:Weiss, you literally didn’t date your Jaune until Atlas.

Weiss:There’s a difference. I didn’t make any heart eyes at him until around Atlas. I say I may have been a little quick. These two were “courting” for over a year at this point.

Ruby:Stop making fun of me!

Blake:Well anyways, I wouldn’t say much was too eventful in terms of romance with world destroying things happening. Salem, she was way too much to deal with. Every move age did was calculated and unrelenting. Keeping our head above water wasn’t easy. In fact, it was boarder line impossible. Yang and I barely beat Adam after all.

Yang:How’d you two feel about that?

Blake:Relieved. Huge weight off my mind, and yet...a piece of me still wishes things never got so dire. At least now I know that in another world, things aren’t.

Ruby:Sounds like your world was put through their paces? You survived though.

Blake:Not conventionally. I gotta say, hearing the ages and how you beat Salem so far makes me feel more than a little embarrassed. To be frank, we didn’t have this grand battle that involved the entire world making a final stand. We had Atlas, and then we had Haven. With their might and a plan to gain more time, we managed to seal Salem in a vault.

Yang:*chokes on water* Y- cough what!?

Ruby:You put her in a vault!?

Weiss:Thah sounds harder than a last stand honestly.

Blake:No matter what way we looked at things, we just weren’t ready for her, so we locked her away until we were. Two years on constant defense from her followers and grimm until Ruby had trained enough to use her silver eyes and we were all strong enough.

Ruby:Two years!? How old was I then?

Blake:Twenty I believe.

Weiss:Hey, you beat mine by a year.

Yang:Not mine, I think we either tied or just narrowly beat yours by like a year. Honestly it hard to keep track of birthdays and stuff.

Ruby:Wow. No offense to myself, but that’s a little disappointing. I guess being the same person really doesn’t mean we were all at the same level.

Blake:Hey, my Ruby put everything she had into saving the world. There wasn’t a second she wasn’t trying her best to defend it!

Ruby:My point exactly. If that was her at her absolute best then by all accounts, she doesn’t hold a candle to me; at least back then anyways. But I have no reason to believe she would be at my level now.

Yang:Okay little miss prideful, care to tell us when you saved the-

Ruby:Seventeen.

The reaper took a long swig of coffee while the others processed that information. It took a her a couple of seconds to realize she may be acting just a tad bit arrogant.

Ruby:Uhh, sorry. I think I was tooting my own horn a bit there.

Weiss:Seventeen....why so soon?

Yang:Why? Don’t you mean how?

Blake:That’s....almost unbelievable.

Ruby:Really? I don’t think so. I’ll dive into it when it’s my turn but for now all I really gotta say is people needed help, and I was going to answer those cries. I bet your Ruby had a similar urgency in her, but for some reason or another just had different limitations. I got hurt a lot as a kid. Maybe an injury did more damage in one universe than another? Who can say?

Blake:I...wouldn’t know. Odd, I know if my Ruby heard this, then she’d probably be more than a little upset. Saving lives is still what she’s all about. I know when she put everything she had into fighting Salem when the day came. All that training paid off. Her skills were polished and her silver eyes eradicated the grimm essence in Salem.

Ruby:Wait, she’s not dead?

Blake:No. Salem roams Remnant with Oz keeping an eye on her until one day she can finally grasp the lesson the gods wanted her to have.

Yang:That uhhh sounds risky.

Weiss:Yet oddly okay?

Blake:Funny, my Weiss said that too. Those two get checked on in secret. Can’t be too careful. With Salem beaten though, Remnant entered a state of...let’s call it average chaos. All in all, it’s way more peaceful but you know, people will be people. Downside about a secret war is you don’t get the unity of the masses. Atlas and Haven working together was still a great step in the right direction though.

Yang:Woah, I’m a little jealous. My world felt like a race against the clock. The pressure either broke you or made you harder than diamond, with most people crushing under it.

Weiss:Yeah. The tension and meet of extremes I had on the frontlines was beyond imagination. The unity was great, but to feel it on the battlefield against the odds was feeling with way too much adrenaline and stress. Can’t say I enjoyed it. I simply lived through it.

Blake:Well it isn’t like I had a walk in the park. But I guess in comparison, my experience was a tad more mellow. Still, people were lost and hurt. Oscar isn’t himself anymore, don’t have Penny, former classmates and a few enemies turned allies fell in battle. Family.... it took a bunch to get the plan of containing, then it took a lot more to do it. In a way though, the two years of training is time I can’t regret. It tested bonds, strengthening and reestablishing others.

Ruby:I take it since love couldn’t bloom on the battlefield, it bloomed in the training yards?

Blake:*red* You can say that. That’s when Jaune and I got serious. *frowning* But.....

Yang:We fell apart?

Blake:Yeah. I didn’t learn my lesson well enough the first time about the potential problems of dating a partner. Only difference this time was I felt like I was the one being cruel. We had gotten into arguments and apologized more than once. Your fear of being left and my own insecurities just kept butting heads. I’d cry, you’d cry, our friends would be concerned. Then the day came where you put it all on the line. You confessed genuinely how much you loved me and how you felt a bit jealous when it came to Jaune. I had never seen you look so vulnerable; letting your gaurd completely down. And though a piece of me loved you and wanted you in my life for ever....this sense of genuine comfort Jaune gave was something I want-needed for so long. So I did the one thing I didn’t want to do. I broke your heart. I hurt you again.

Yang:Sigh....*leans back in chair* Okay, let’s see how well I know myself. My eyes went red automatically, followed by tears. I lashed out at you angrily out of pain and embarrassment until I was probably blue in the face. But to take make things worse, somebody probably overheard. No matter who it was, I yelled at them too for trying to calm me down and then I eventually run off leaving everyone unhappy. A good old meltdown. Sound about right?

Blake:To the letter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so distraught.

Yang:Of course not, I’ve never been in love before meeting you. I....did a similar thing with my Blake over the stupid Adam shit. *covers face* of all the things to be similar, it had to be my temper. Please tell me our team didn’t suffer too harshly?

Blake:The good thing about two years of training was it didn’t have to be together all the time. Team RWBY didn’t fall apart, but it didn’t feel comfortable either. Outside of missions, the four of us didn’t hang out as much. It was three at the most. Nobody pinned blame on me or Yang for it but it was obvious.

Ruby:I mean how can you blame someone for feeling sad or not in love with someone? Pointing fingers doesn’t do anything. However, I bet missions were rough.

Blake:Bumblebee was shelved. We did any other team up we could. When push came to shove, Yang and I did put feelings aside. Neither of us wanted our feelings to get anyone killed. That’s probably what kept us connected for awhile, especially with Salem. I don’t think we questioned each other when it came to watching one another’s back. Slowly, our relationship got a bit better. Until....we stopped speaking to each other altogether about a couple years later.

Yang:Wait, why!?

Blake:I got pregnant.

The three listeners’ faces scrunched up and they let in a sharp breath like they just got cut. No one had considered that bombshell.

Blake:Marriage was rough enough. Having Jaune’s kid and starting a family just...cut deep I guess. You didn’t make a scene or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. One day you told me “I just can’t do this” and exited my life. I wanted to keep you close to me, but you wanted to be closer. That was a thing I couldn’t do. Hehe, I can’t tell you how weird it is talking to you like this again.

Yang:So that’s it!? We just don’t see each other at all!?

Blake:Certain events and celebrations have us in the same room, but that’s all. Ruby is the only thing that regularly links us, but she’s busy living life too.

Ruby:Is it a good life?

Blake:The best. You’re the huntress you always wanted to be and a hero to many.

Ruby:*smiles* Really? That’s good. May she ride that high for as long as she can. Though I bet she wished she had a special someone to share that with.

Blake:Huh? Oh, you married Weiss.

Weiss:*red* What!?

Ruby:Aye, nice.

Weiss:Weren’t you upset about thinking of other people with Jaune besides you!?

Ruby:Yeah, but I won’t deny if I am going to be with someone that isn’t him, I’m very happy it’s the other special person in my life. I mean come on, the only reason we don’t get weird in your universe is because I married your brother and you already invited my sister.

Weiss:I mean...it’s mainly the brother portion. The second part...

Ruby:Weiss, that’s weird.

Yang:Eh...

Ruby:IT’S WEIRD! YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE!

Yang:*sips coffee* Eh.

Blake:Anyways, Weiss, you’re running your company. The Schnee Dust Company was scrubbed top to bottom to remove as much corruption as possible. No department was overlooked. In times of money, there’s a notable decrease in how much the company used to make.

Weiss:Gee, I wonder if that’s because the other me is doing oh let me guess, paying all their workers and not cutting corners in safety?

Blake:The SDC people approval has gone up considerably, just so you know that too. Turns out people like it when the company they buy from have good morals.

Weiss:Am I happy though? I make time for my social life and hu- I mean wife?

Blake:Yea, you’re happy. In a way I think we’re all happy, but....

Yang:We’d be happier if we were all happy together? Yeah, that’s how it works. You’re only as happy as the most miserable person in a family or group; if you all care about each other that is. Ugh, I wanna punch the other me. I get how she feels but it’s fucking immature to just ignore years of teamwork and family. At the end of the day, team RWBY is a family! Can’t believe I’d runaway from it instead of figuring out...I don’t know! Something!

Blake:*small smile* Well if you feel that way then there’s no reason to believe she doesn’t. My Yang just struggles with it more I guess, but I hope she can come around one day. Not really for my sake, but for her own peace of mind. As well as Lucas’s.

Ruby:Lucas? Your son I take it?

Blake:Mmhmm. My strong and lazy young man. He got his father’s hair but my eyes and ears. I can’t think of a person who warms my heart quite like him. He acts uninterested in a lot of things, but his heart is so big.

Weiss:Ah, so he’s just you?

Blake:More or less hehe. Though I’d say I was passionate about things all my life. Lucas will sleep all day if he could and doesn’t like going out without a reason.

Weiss:Still sounds like you if I’m being honest. Teenager?

Blake:Seventeen, almost eighteen.

Yang:You said he’s need peace of mind too? I’m not...hostile towards him am I?

Blake:No, not by a long shot. On the occasions you two have meant, you were polite. It’s just he knows why you don’t visit or talk to me. That’s rough, knowing your parent’s closest friend stopped being apart of their life because you were born. I think sometimes he believes it’s actually his fault.

Yang:I really, really want to meet this other me and have a few words. She needs to know she isn’t trying hard enough. I’m proof.

Ruby:Yeah, but you’re only well off because the person that helped you get over Blake, was Jaune. Yeah she still can find love, but who that person will be would be uncharted territory for everyone.

Blake:Also I’m not entirely sure exactly if my Yang is even bi like you.

Yang:Sigh....

Weiss:Love.

Blake:Huh?

Weiss:As long as a person shows your Yang genuine love and a place in their heart where she’ll remain forever, Yang would fall for them. They just have to make it a point to make her feel like they’ll stay. Yangs are softies like that.

Yang:Wow, you an expert on me and all the versions of me now?

Weiss:No, you’re just a bleeding heart that’s super emotional. Let me guess, you fell for Jaune the moment you realized just how relaxed and vulnerable you could allow yourself to be around him.

Yang:*red*.......he holds me when I’m overwhelmed.

RWB:Awwww

Yang:Shut up! Blake, take the heat off me.

Blake:Not too much more. Lucas is a smart kid who generally stays out of trouble. Unfortunately, trouble finds him. Mainly because of his semblance.

Ruby:Don’t tell me...

Blake:No no, it’s not bad luck like your uncle, but Lucas can’t always control it so their similar in that regard. Premonitions, that’s his semblance.

Weiss:Like...the future? You child can see the future?!

Blake:Yeah. *sips drink* it’s terrible.

Ruby:What? That sounds so handy! Man, if I could someone fighting me before it happened, I’d be a monster on the battlefield.

Blake:Lucas isn’t a fighter. Well, he’s not aspiring to fight. He can fight, pretty dang well in fact.; but randomly seeing the future is not a gift. Imagine picking up a book and you suddenly know the ending, or watching a movie and you start seeing the middle of it right after you press play?

Yang:Ahhh, that’s why he’s lazy and unmotivated. His semblance is massive spoiler alert. Half the fun of new things is not knowing what will happen.

Ruby:Oof, you have a point. I’d be paranoid to no end.

Blake:To a point, he was. Ever since he was ten. Disasters happen at the drop of a hat. Lucas isn’t the kind of person to watch bad things unfold, so whenever it was possible or even if it was risky, he’d do whatever he could to prevent said disaster. But.....there’s only so much anyone person can do. There’s only so much information he sees. The constant strain and guilt that came from failing ate him up. The. There’s the incidents he’s seen that didn’t show him how it began or how it will end. *rubbing her hands* It’s bad...

Weiss:Hey, I...I’ve noticed your hands and frankly even your face are a bit....slim. Your skin isn’t as colorful as I’m used to either. Almost like it’s regaining color.

Blake:Hehehe.......I guess you were bound to notice of all people.

Weiss:Of course. I may not run a a company in my world but I keep tabs on my brother and have had my fair share of visits to a doctor. Why wouldn’t I notice.

Yang:So can we talk as if there are people who have no clue what’s going on?

Weiss:Blake has had one of two things happen to her. She’s either worked way too hard to the point she’s not taking care of her health, or she’s fallen very ill and her body is still recovering.

Blake:Yeah, it’s more of the second one, but probably because of the first one as well. Forwarding equality, I was overzealous with it. One day Lucas just started shaking and crying when he was twelve and I couldn’t understand why. Turns out he kept seeing me bedridden and unconscious without a reason. Day in and day out he simply cried and tried his best to get another premonition to learn more, but couldn’t. A week later I started feeling a little dizzy, and then blacked out after vomiting. At first I thought maybe I had the flu or something. Nope, a tumor.

Weiss:What?

Ruby:Blake!?

Yang:Oh shit, are you-

Blake:Perfectly fine! *smiles* I’m fine. Liver cancer, but it was caught early. No more tumor what so ever, but the meds and the entire process was really draining. Got sicker a couple of times. Not once did I feel like I was dying necessarily, more like...slipping? I felt myself getting drained. The whole time Lucas was so scared; blaming himself for not preventing this or knowing how to fix it. Though simply knowing he saw me like was a warning most people wish they got. I know I said seeing the future is terrible, but the scariest part through all of this was not knowing how it ended. Choosing medicine, doctors, surgery possibilities, it made me crack under pressure a little. I think he noticed that. I wasn’t sure if I picking an option that lead me dying or getting better. The stress alone may have killed me. Ever since then Lucas hasn’t been so outgoing.

Ruby:....

Weiss:....

Yang....It was already said, but there was no way this wasn’t going to get sad was there?

Blake:Take it from me, there’s joy in pain. So many people came to visit me when I was recovering. Even Yang dropped by for a bit. After I got out, I don’t think Lucas ever hugged me so hard. Jaune tried to stay calm through the whole ordeal but it was rough for him too. He was all but spent emotionally when I came home.

Weiss:I’m surprised Lucas didn’t become an older brother.

Blake:The last thing a recovering patient needs is a pregnancy, but as far as missing me goes...

Ruby:You can stop right there with that tangent.

Yang:We’ll talk about that in private. I wouldn’t mind that story.

Blake:*playfully rolls eyes* These days I try not to over do things. I’ve only officially been deemed completely cured for about a year. I can feel that I’m still not entirely up to strength. It’s fine though. It gives me an excuse for Lucas to dote on me a little. He’s a mama’s boy at heart. My biggest worries these days is peeling him out of this shell his semblance had put him in. At the very least I want him to smile like he used to and find away to live in moment when possible. His entire life is ahead of him. Hopefully he doesn’t see all of it.

Ruby:I guess too much of anything really is bad. Knowledge included. I hope things work out.

Yang:Me too. A happy life is something you definitely earned.

Blake:Thanks. That seriously means a lot, which is why I made sure to not end this on a sour note.

The happy faunus pulled out her scroll to scroll through pictures and her friends eyes lit up. The first one was a beach photo. This Jaune was different from what they were used to. He let his hair grow a little bit longer and the back went down his neck, but it was definitely still him. This jaune was pretty toned and went for a lean look than bulky like Weiss’s, but a tad slimmer. On his shoulders was an adorable toddler with wide amber eyes and big blonde cat ears. Both men were enjoying the sunset on the waves.

The next photo was more recent with Blake right in the middle of hopping into Lucas’s arms. Weiss noticed the girl still had on the hospital bracelet. She must’ve just gotten cleared. Lucas had grown like a weed. He was now roughly Jaune’s height. His hair was messy and looked like Jaune’s in his younger years. Also like his father, Lucas was jacked! His sleeveless purple shirt should off his biceps as they wrapped around Blake’s torso for a hug. His baggy purple shorts had black and gold trim through the seams and the shorts stopped right below his knees; but showed of his well defined calves. A smile of pure joy and what could’ve been a few tears were visible as he looked lovingly at his mother. It warmed all of the ladies hearts. Still, the girls also could tell under his eyes were a little dark. Lucas must’ve been very tired.

The final picture had to be the most recent. It was Blake and Lucas sparring. Both looked at each other with excitement and ease as their wooden blades clashed. Their clothes mirrored one another by being black and white kimonos. They even wore the traditional shoes and everything.

Weiss:Yeah, that’s your kid.

Blake:Damn right. Unfortunately that makes him a little too stubborn. But I guess that’s okay. Without a doubt, someone’s gonna break through that shell of his.

Yang:Oh? It sounds like you already know who?

Blake:Well....I have a hunch.

xxxxx

RING! RING! RING! Lucas’s scroll chirped, in the middle of the night. The boy let out a long, agitated groan of sleepiness as he rolled over in bed; reaching for his scroll on the nightstand to answer.

Lucas:Hello?

???:Did you know you are mathematically more likely to choke on a hotdog than get attacked by a shark?

Lucas:....Serenity, who gave you my number?

Serenity:Your parents, and it’s Serendipity!

Lucas:Too many syllables. Also a bit ironic given who you are. With the way you act though, my name for you is better.

Serenity:Ooooo so we’re moving on to pet names? How forward of you.

Lucas:Five seconds before I hang up. Three...two-

Serenity:You’re late! You promised to guide me around the beach at twelve. That’s now.

Lucas:.....P.M. Twelve P.M. Serenity. Why in the world would I mean midnight!?

Serenity:It’s romantic and personal. Nobody else is around. I thought you were trying to use that Belladonna magic on me by acting all cool and aloof in the moonlight.

Lucas:.....

Lucas:Please delete my number.

Serenity:Not on your life, my whiskered bodyguard!

Lucas:Don’t have whiskers-

Serenity:If you don’t wanna move that butt of yours to hang out with a pretty girl in a floppy hat and sundress with a bikini underneath, that’s your loss. I’m still going for a dip.

Lucas:Do not go in the water when nobody is around.

Serenity:Pfft, I’m a strong swimmer.

Lucas:Sharks.

Serenity:It’s more dangerous to eat a hotdog.

Lucas:Sharks feed at night.

Serenity:Are you trying to tell me the statistics aren’t as reliable just because it’s nighttime.

Lucas:That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Serenity:Then you better move your butt just in case. Either you get a snack or the sharks do. Either way, I get attention.

Lucas:Difference is one wants to eat you.

Serenity:My goodness Lucas, oh brazen of you.

Lucas:......

Lucas:Tell the sharks I said hi.

Serenity:Okay! Byyyyyyeeeee! *hangs up*

Lucas:(She’ll be fine.)

..........

Lucas:*putting on shoes* This is bullshit. Who thinks midnight!? *walking down stairs* Can’t have a peaceful day or night....

Jaune:*watching tv* Hey Lucas, going some-

Lucas:I’m giving out your phone number to a homeless man the first chance I get! *walks out door*

Jaune:.....(Whatever gets you outside more.)

It took about fifteen minutes of aggressive walking for Lucas to wrap around to the back of his house towards their section of the beach. Where Serenity walked around humming and collecting seashells without a care in the world.

Lucas:The next shell you grab will have a crab in it.

Serenity:Huh? Oh hey you’re finally-ahhhh! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Lucas:Should’ve listened.

Serenity:Have a better warning!!!! It won’t let go!

Lucas:Pull it off.

Serenity:That’s hurt!!! Lucas, help!

Lucas:Fine, if you delete my number.

Serenity:*sniffling* Stop being mean!!! This really hurts, it’s breaking the skin. Isn’t a young and pretty girl’s tears payment enough!? I thought you were getting paid to-

Lucas:Oh my goodness! Okay, just shush. I’m too sleepy for this.

Serenity:You’re mean when you’re sleepy. At least your waking up voice sounds handsome though.

Lucas:Please....stop. Stop everything. *removing crab* Happy?

Serenity:No, you’re not happy. Also my finger is bleeding.

Lucas:Yep, looks like you can’t go swimming now for real.

Serenity:Eh, I lied anyways. I’m not getting in that water. There are sharks in that watery grave.

Lucas:So. Why. Did. You. Wake. Me. Up?

Serenity:....*red* I...don’t really, have friends here. Besides you. Umm *points to pail and shovels* sandcastles?

Lucas:*inhales*......I’ll get the water.

Serenity:*smiles* Yes! I’ll delete your number later.

Lucas:*red* You....can keep it of you really want.

Serenity:....Kek, okay Mr. Tsundere

Lucas:You can remove the next crab alone.

Serenity:Don’t joke like that! That was a joke, right?

Lucas:Welp that pail isn’t gonna fill itself. *leaves*

Serenity:What!? Lucas!!! You were joking right!? Right!? *looking around the sand* you’re a lousy bodyguard!

Lucas:Good, fire me.

Serenity:I...you....ugh!

Lucas:Cheer up, I’m happy now after all. *smiles*

Serenity:*pouting* This is why I’m a dog person.

[write-orflight]

Watch Over Me: Chapter One

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Rating: M

Words: 3.2K

Warnings: none for this chapter: innuendo, language

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Steve Rogers learns about the future from a woman stuck in the past.

A.N This is my jazz club reader fic I’ve been talking about writing. This fic isn’t gonna be long but I like it so I hope yall do too. I’m not using my perm taglist because it’s different than my normal content. reply, message, or inbox to be tagged. Devil Has Lilith will be updated Saturday.

Slang used in this chapter:

Dish: An attractive Woman

Butter and egg man: The money man, the man who comes to town to blow a big wad in nightclubs.

Dip the bill: Have a drink.

Corn: Bourbon

Cake-eater: A ladies’ man

Jalopy: An old car.

Drop a dime: Make a phone call

Chapter 1: There's a somebody I'm longin' to see 

“I can’t watch this anymore!” Tony said storming into the compound’s kitchen one night.  Steve looked up from his sketchbook in confusion. “I can’t watch you sit in here another friday night. It’s tragic!” 

“Ugh, not this again, Tony.” Steve says, sighing. Nat and Bucky begin snickering next to him, knowing where the conversation was going. 

“Yes, this again. Cap, I excused it for the first couple of years because you were adjusting to the times but it’s been years! If you’re not on a mission, you don’t go out! Sometimes, when Pep is having trouble sleeping I describe your social life to her, puts her right slee--” 

“Alright, I get it!” Steve cuts him off, slapping Bucky, who was in full hysterics at this point, in the arm. “I know my personal life is--” 

“Non-existent?” Nat provides.   

“Dead?” Tony adds, laughing.  

“But it’s my personal life. I’m over 100 years old. If I looked it, you guys wouldn’t be questioning my staying home.”   

“Exactly, if you looked it, I wouldn’t. But you are not that old yet.” Tony says. “Come on, let’s just all go out once. If you don’t like it, I’ll never make you go out again. I’ll even get you a coloring book or a model ship, or whatever old people do.” 

“Fine.” Steve sighed, as the man next to him cheered. “But nothing like those places you typically go to. They’re too noisy and sweaty and--” 

“Yea I got it, old-timer. We’re not going anywhere like that.” Tony provides. “My friend recently opened a restaurant where their back room is a speakeasy, very accurately themed, you need a password and everything to get in. You’ll fit right in.” 

“Prohibition ended in the 30s.” Bucky says. “Long before Stevie could even drink.” 

“Even still, work with me a little here.” Tony says. 

“Fine.” Steve sighs.  

“Awesome. Now, you’ve got to come in costume to these things so I’ve already taken the liberty of telling my tailor to make you guys something.” 

“What if I had said no?” Steve asks. 

“Oh, Cap. You should know by now I don’t take no as an answer.” 

----------------------------------------------

  Steve shifted uncomfortably in his uniform. It was almost exactly like the one he would wear out during down times in the war though he knew it wasn’t the real one as that one was in the Smithsonian. Still, Tony’s tailor did a good job with seemingly all the costumes. Tony looked almost identical to how Steve remembered Howard back in the day. Bucky was in a uniform that looked similar to his back in the day, Glove covering his metal hand. Natatsha was in a sleek red gown, white gloves and pearls that was more modest than he’d seen her wear but still made her look drop dead gorgeous. 

Tony led them down a dark alley to what seemed to be a back door. Steve looked around confused as they entered the smokey hallway. At the end of the hallway there were two large doors and a lady with pinned up hair and a black shimmery dress, smoking with her feet propped up on the desk she was sitting at. 

“Evening gentlemen.” She croons in an english accent. “And lady. Are you lost?” 

“We have a meeting with Dr. Volstead.” Tony says, confidently. 

The woman tilts her head back giving all of you a once over. “It’s a nice night, isn’t it?” She asks. 

“Yes, it is. But I prefer the rain.” Tony says.  

With that the woman stands and walks over to the large doors and knocks rhythmically 3 times. The doors open to reveal a large dance hall where couples are in full swing, laughing and drinking. A trio of girls crooned a faced paced song as a jazz band was playing behind them. For a moment, Steve did actually forget he was in the 21st century. 

“Enjoy Paradise, my friends.” The woman smiles, before shutting the doors to the outside world. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were in the kitchen, taking a much needed headache break from the facade you had been putting up for your tables all night long when your Co-worker, Dalia, came up to you. 

“Y/N, Y/N! You have to trade tables with me.” 

You looked at her with a suspicious look. “Why?” 

“Come on, It’s a 4-top anyway. I’ll even trade you the party table for it.” That made you even more suspicious. “50 bucks for it, come on.” 

“Don’t trade, Y/N/N!” Your co-worker and friend/roommate, Jade added. “Tony Stark is in your section. I bet she only wants to give you 50 for it because she knows she’ll make 500.” 

“Come on, that’s not even why.” Dalia groans. “Black Widow is also at your table and you know she’s on my ‘Celebrities I have to fuck before I die’ list.” 

“God, are the rest of the avengers here?” You ask. 

“Not all but you know who is here?” Jade asks. “Steve Rogers.” She says, in a mocking singsong tone, jabbing you. Your crush on Captain America wasn’t really a secret anymore after you confessed it drunk one night. “And he looks almost edible.”  

You hum, you didn’t really feel like taking another table but this wasn’t a normal table. You doubt you had a chance but you weren’t passing up on serving Steve Rogers. 

“I’ll make you a deal. I still want that 50 bucks and we share the table, I’ll consider splitting the tip.” You say, the idea of making your rent in a night did appease you. 

“Deal.”

“Now ladies, I have a song to do.” You say, leaving the girls behind in the kitchen. 

—————————————-

Steve, for the first time in a while it seemed, was having fun. Tony was right, he did feel like he fit right in here. He clapped with the crowd, as the three girls bowed and left the stage. The piano man stood up and took the microphone Steve could tell was only styled to look old but actually wasn’t that old. 

“One more time for the Duclaw sisters folks.” The smooth voiced man said into the microphone, inciting another round of applause from the crowd. “Our next performer is actually the last of the night.” That incited a few ‘awws’ of disappointment. “Don’t cry just yet because Old Gary never disappoints, our next performer is my personal favorite. Sings like a Canary and the Cat who caught it.” That induces a laugh from the crowd and a small chuckle from Steve. “And maybe if you’re good she’ll come on for an encore later. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Sultry Sounds of Y/N L/N.” He says, moving from the mic back to the piano as the crowd cheers. Steve watches the stage as arguably the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen seems to glide out from the backstage. She’s wearing a floor length silver gown that seemed to glimmer with every step she took. Her hair came down in long fingerwaves, pinned back so you could see the sculpt of her face. Steve would be lying if he said that wasn’t his favorite part of her facade. She had on simple eyeliner, foundation, and a bold red lip he could probably see from mars. You were beautiful, in a timeless sort of way. 

“My, my.” She crooned in an sultry old new york accent that reminded Steve of the women he grew up around. “What would your wife say if she knew I was your favorite, Old Gary?” 

“She’d agree!” The man called from the piano, inducing the chuckle from the crowd. And a deep sultry one from you. 

“Well as they say, two’s just fine but three’s a party.” She winked at the old man in a way that would make Steve weak if he wasn’t already sitting. 

“You ok there, Cap?” Tony said, snapping Steve out of the mystery woman’s trance. “You disappeared for a second.” 

“I’m fine.” Steve said, fighting the flush that threatened to spread over his face. He looks out the side of his eye to Bucky, who was smirking at him knowingly. Of course, he knew. 

“You know, you saying something about being good got me thinking, Old Gary.” She said, as the man softly played behind her. “A good man is hard to find. Great men are great, bad men are good sometimes too.” She winked to the crowd. “But every girl wants a good man, someone to watch over her.” Old Gary seems to take the cue to start playing her song. 

“There's a saying old, says that love is blind. Still we're often told, ‘seek and ye shall find’” She began singing and it made Steve sit up in his seat. She had the kind of voice that was almost beckoning. She was becoming his own personal siren. “So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind”  

“She’s a looker, huh?” The server, who introduced herself as Dalia, said as she sat down Bucky’s drink. “Y/N’s the main dish of this place.” 

“I think I’m more interested in you, doll.” Bucky flirted, shamelessly. 

“And I think I’m more interested in dames, Soldier.” She says, winking to Natasha who smiles coyly at her. Steve hardly pays them any mind as his focus was on you as you finished your song and thanked the crowd and waved while Old Gary helped her off stage. 

------------------------------------------ 

You were changing from your stage outfit into your floor outfit when Dalia burst into the locker room.

“Y/N/N, I actually think I might have a chance with Widow. I mean, she’s kinda been ignoring me the whole night but when I mentioned I was into girls she smiled!” Dalia ranted, excitedly as you nodded. You turned your back to her so she’d get the clue to zip you up which she does. “Also, you should’ve seen the way Steve Rogers was watching you sing. He totally wants to hit that.” That makes you perk up a bit. 

“I doubt it. I have it under good authority that he hasn’t hit anything in over 70 years. I doubt I’m what he’s been waiting for.” You laugh. “Still, it’s fun to think about.” 

Dalia tugs you out of the locker room. “Come on, let's get back out there.” 

You sighed before stepping out of the locker room and seemingly out of this century. 

You fake laughed with a guest at the bar as you grabbed your tray of drinks and made your way over to the table that had been making you nervous all night. You placed the four whiskey rocks drinks on the tables. 

“Courtesy of Dean.” You say, placing the drinks down. Stopping at Tony Stark. “Don’t know why? You seem to be the butter and egg man out tonight. 

“Butter and egg?” He asks, looking to Steve and Bucky. 

“Means money man, High roller.” Bucky explains, Steve nods. 

“Ah, well I am that.” Tony says, laughing. “I must say Miss, what was it? Y/N?” You nod confirming. “I have to say you are quite the performer.” 

“Thank you kindly, Mr. Stark. Go ahead, dip your bill.” You say pointing to the drink, Hoping they’d get the hint. They did of course, after seeing Steve and Bucky take a sip. You watch Steve grimace slightly at the taste of the liquor. 

“Everything alright, fella?” 

You watch Steve flush at the attention being tossed his way. You can’t help the confident smirk that graced your face knowing it was you that had Steve Rogers flustered. “I’m fine, I just don’t enjoy the taste.” 

You hum. “Yea, it’s the big cheese’s favorite drink and he’s known for liking it rough.” You wink, somehow making Steve flush more. That made you want to push it more. “I’ve got some corn in the back they call the Y/N because it feels really good when it’s going down.” That makes Steve choke a little and induces a hearty laugh from the group. “Can I get you a glass, Soldier?”  

“Y-Yea, I’d like that.” Steve flushes. It was almost fun at this point. 

“I’d love to try the real thing.” Bucky says, flirting right back with a smirk you knew has to make every girl in the 40s weak in the knees. You didn’t indulge him though. 

“Well, aren’t you a regular cake-eater.” You smirk. “I’ll be back with two glasses.”  

“I see the serum didn’t enhance your ability to talk to pretty girls.” Bucky laughs as you want away. Steve can’t help but become a little distracted by the sway of your hips. 

The rest of the night seemed to go like that. You bringing them drinks and flirting with the captain anyway you could just to see the pretty flush that spread across his face. But soon the time came for the superheroes to take their leave. As you sat the check in front of Tony, you brushed a hand over the Captain’s shoulder admiring the broadness of them. 

“You’ll come back and see me, Sugar?” You say, phrasing it like a question despite it not really being one. Steve nods, dumbfounded by you. You smile and wink at him before walking away. 

You’re in the kitchen eating the pizza you had ordered earlier when your manager, Dean comes out of his office for the first time that shift. 

“Y/N!” You roll your eyes when you hear him scream your name. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“I’m eating dinner. Something I could’ve done on my break if I ever got one.” 

“You know you’re not supposed to be eating anything that couldn’t be made in the 30s. People pay for the illusion and if they see you gorging yourself on pizza, it ruins it.” 

“No one’s looking in the fucking kitchen, Dean.” 

“Uh-huh, and another thing. You know what kind of songs you’re supposed to sing.” You roll your eyes harder. You knew this argument was coming. “That song is from the 50s and you knew it.” 

“None of those bullshit hipsters know who Ella fucking Fitzgerald is!” You yell. “Much less what years her fucking songs came out. That song killed and that’s all that fucking matters.” 

“Change your set or you’re fired.” 

That makes you laugh in his face. “Uh-huh, as if you’re going to find a singer who’ll work as cheap as me.” You say, brushing past him. “See you tomorrow.” 

----------------------------------------------------------------

Steve comes back to the bar the following week. He tells himself that it’s just for a quick drink but he knew the real reason was because he could not stop thinking about you. He also knew you were probably just being friendly because it’s your job to. He just needed you to reject him so he could go on with his life. 

He found himself in that hallway again approaching the woman he had seen last week. 

“Evening, Sir.” She says. “Are you lost?” 

“Umm.. I have a meeting with Mr. Volstead?” Steve questions, not really recalling the password fully. 

The woman hums. “Nice night, no?” She says. 

“I prefer the rain.” 

The woman sighs. “I’m sorry. I typically would let you in because I don’t really care but technically I’m not supposed to let anyone who doesn’t know the password in… even if  they are kinda famous.” She says. “The password changes every week. I’m sure if you ask Mr. Stark, he can find it for you.” 

“Oh, no worries. Sorry for wasting your time.” Steve sighs, turning back out the building. 

He’s approaching where he parked his bike when he hears a string of expletives being screamed followed with a car stuttering before not starting. He looks over to see a woman angrily get out of her car and lift the hood to see it smoking. The woman lets out another stream of expletives before kicking the tire and leaning her head on the roof of the car, defeated. For some reason, he feels compelled to go over and see how he could help. As he got closer he couldn’t believe his luck, it was you. He tapped you lightly on the shoulder and you turned with the beginnings of tears in your eyes. 

“Oh, Soldier!” You said, quickly turning around to wipe your eyes and putting the facade you typically used with customers back up. “I almost got offended when you didn’t come back to see me. Imagine a broad’s old luck.” You said, smiling flirtatiously. Steve didn’t buy that smile for a second. He could see in your eyes you were still upset. 

“Everything okay?” He asks. 

“Oh, everything’s swell! This old jalopy has seen better days, gonna drop a dime to a friend hopefully--” You cut yourself off, switching into your normal speaking voice. “Listen, I’m sorry I just can’t keep talking like this off the clock. I’ll drive myself insane. Please, don’t tell my boss. I’m already on thin ice for not ‘maintaining the illusion’.” 

Steve laughs, a weight suddenly feeling lifted off his shoulders. Suddenly you weren’t this mysterious woman who seemed to have all the right things to say and how to say them. You were human, just like him. “Your secret’s safe with me.” He says. 

“Good.”  You say, smiling briefly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve gotta call Triple A for a tow.” You say, pulling your cell phone out. Steve had to admit it looked a little weird to see you with a cellphone in your olden days attire. 

“How will you get home?” He asks. 

“I’ll probably hoof it.” You shrug. “Or take the subway.” 

“At night?!” Steve says, incredulously. “No, I can take you if you’d like.” 

You look at him, hopefully. “I don’t want to be a burden.” You say. 

“You won’t be one.” He smiles. God, that smile made you feel a little weak. 

“Okay.” You smile back. 

“Are you hungry by chance?” He asks, as the two of you walk back to his ride. “I was going to eat in the bar but I couldn’t remember the password.” He says, sheepishly. 

That makes you laugh out loud. “Those passwords are such bullshit, Dean keeps changing them to keep it ‘exclusive’ but they always end up online anyway.” You say. “Every server has their own password, to keep track of regulars coming in. If you tell them you have a rose delivery for Mae, They’ll take you to my table no questions.” 

“Mae?” Steve asks. 

“For Mae West.” You explain, That makes Steve laugh again, of course you liked Mae West. “I could eat though. There’s actually a diner right down the road from here.” 

“Perfect.” He says, straddling onto his bike. He raises an eyebrow at you when you hesitate. “Something wrong?” 

“I’ve never ridden on a bike before is all.” 

“As long as you hold on to me, you’ll be fine.” He says, smirking when he sees a flush creep over your face as he hands you his helmet. It was about time for you to be flustered by your interactions. 

“I have no problems with that.” You say, placing that helmet on your head after you straddle the bike behind him. Your hands are tight around his waist as the two of you ride out of the lot, leaving Paradise behind. 

Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink

[de-profundis-ad-astra]

One, Two Punch

Pairing: Ben Miller x Reader, kinda. Flirtationship more than a relationship Rating: Somewhere between T and M? Summary: After knowing Ben for barely two months, you’re invited to attend one of his fights. Length: ~2k words Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol, vague descriptions of legally sanctioned violence, vague mentions of masturbation. Taglist:  @firefeatherx @goldenhour-goldenboy @mandoplease @mylifeliterally @phoenixhalliwell @havenforafrazzledmind @living-reminder @beatriz-silva-00 @pascalz @worldominatorx @givemethatgold @agirllovespancakes @lilacyennefer @dignityneeded @veuliee @briskywalker @the-bird-suit @mapache-lector @skylyknightly (let me know if you want to be +/-) Note: For the anon from yesterday. If you see this, I love you and if you want me to keep posting old fics, please let me know.

The day you’re invited to watch one of Ben Miller’s fights, it feels like a rite of passage.

The boys go quiet when he drops the question. So quiet, in fact, you wonder if you mistook the invitation for a marriage proposal. Suddenly extremely interested in their respective drinks, they sneak glances in your direction in the moments following. Ben’s eyes, clear and bright and… have they always been that blue? They root you to the spot, pinning you without him needing to lift a finger.

“Sure,” you say, shrugging off the odd looks and your own uncertainty. “Sounds fun.”

The fight isn’t for another three weeks, but Will practically has to drag Ben out of the bar by the collar whilst claiming that prep starts now. Once the door is soundly closed behind the Millers, Santiago and Frankie take turns explaining that Ben has never invited anyone to his fights. Well, not for a while, at least. They run you through what you’re sure is an abbreviated version of their last experience with this.

Long story short: he invited one of his previous flings to a fight, she left before the match ended with nothing more than a text letting him know that she didn’t think it would work, and they never heard from her again.

You swipe a finger down the glass–it’s started sweating condensation since they started talking. You rub the moisture between your fingertips, then take a sip, welcoming the burn as the tequila warms its way down your throat. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it’s a big deal,” Santiago says. “A big fucking deal.”

You get it, they’re more than friends to Ben. They’re his teammates, the people he trusts more than anyone in the world to watch his back. You suppose that’s precisely what they’re doing, now. You suspect that if you were to bail out like the previous girl did, they wouldn’t let you off so easy.

Not that you would. It’s just… a lot to take in.

“I get it,” you say with a smile. “I break his heart, you break my neck, right?”

Frankie lifts his glass in a toast. “I knew you were a fast learner.”

–

The following Tuesday evening finds you knocking on Ben’s door for your usual burger run. It’s probably too early to call it a tradition, but you’re relationship with Ben, thus far, is comprised primarily of spontaneous adventures such as this. Every Tuesday for the past three weeks you’ve gotten together to eat greasy foods and talk and laugh together. So it’s worth a shot, right?

Except when Will opens the door.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says cordially, if not a bit bewildered.

“Y/N!” you hear Ben’s unmistakable voice call from further within. “Come in!”

Will steps aside, vacating enough space for you to pass. You step over the threshold, your eyes immediately landing on the small dining table to your right. And the… grain bowl he’s eating?

“I see you’ve already got dinner taken care of,” you note with a small laugh. You’re more entertained by the sight than you are upset by the fact that burger night will have to wait.

Ben’s face falls, and his fork clatters to the table. “Shit,” he scrambles to pull his phone from his pocket. “Shit.” He unlocks it, hits a few buttons, then slides it back into his jeans.

A few seconds later, your own phone’s screen lights up with an unread text. You open it and read:

have 2 take a rain check on burgers 2nite. wills got me on this ‘clean eating’ diet before the fight.

You hold up the phone for him to see, “Got it.”

Ben says a bit sheepishly, “Forgot to send it. Selective memory. Sorry.”

As much as you want to be sad that your night out has been postponed, you’re more touched by the fact that of all the things on his mind, that was one of them.

“He needs to get into work mode,” Will fills the silence as Ben shovels a heap of quinoa and chicken into his mouth and makes a show of gagging on it. “Gotta keep him focused on eating better and training.”

You think about the pack of beers you’d bought and stored in your fridge. “I take it that means no alcohol, either.”

“Nope,” the brothers answer in unison–Ben with notably more disdain than Will.

“I was winning fights before you put me on this diet, you know,” Ben grumbles around his food.

“Doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t be taking care of yourself when your putting that much wear and tear on your body.” Will points at his younger brother. “Eat.”

“You’re worse than mom.”

“Eat.”

Ben groans and heaps some more food into his mouth. “I’m not worried,” he says half to himself.

You see it then. In his eyes, he’s focused and somewhere that isn’t quite here. You look at the hard lines around his mouth and suddenly wish you could take your thumb and run it across his lower lip, card your fingers through the unruly hair he dutifully keeps under the protection of his hat. One look at his face, and you know his mind has wandered somewhere similar.

Want, need, desire, call it what you will. All that and more churns in your gut.

Will clears his throat, pulling you two back from where you teeter on the edge of the gutter and back to the present. “We’ll worry about it when it’s time to worry about it. There’s nothing we can do right now except prepare. It’ll turn out how it turns out. And if Ben does what he’s supposed to, it’ll turn out well.”

“Win that fight, Benjamin,” you tease, turning back towards the door. “And we’ll get those burgers.”

You feel his eyes burning into your back long after the door shuts behind you.

–

You don’t feel ashamed of the moment you and Ben shared. That nagging in your chest is a far cry from shame. You’d outgrown that long ago. The look you’d shared, the thoughts you had and knew he had were mild in comparison to what you knew you wanted.

You knew the look in his eyes, that unspoken promise for something more–something you completely, unabashedly craved–and your carefully placed tethers would fray and fray and fray until there was nothing to hold you back. He didn’t need distractions right now, you wanted to respect that.

That didn’t make it any less miserable.

It only takes three days before it grows so unbearable that you take matters into your own hands.

Overheated and nearly frantic, you toss and turn in bed that night until your tank top and short clink and chafe against your slightly sweaty body. You try counting the minutes until sleep takes you. But minutes turn to hours with no sign of relief.

Need crawls over you, slithering under your skin. It doesn’t take much to imagine his face, that it’s his hands on your skin, inside–

But that release only leaves you hollow–unsatisfied.

You make a point to keep your distance for the remainder of that week. Until the day of the fight, actually. By then, the tether is pulled so tight that you fear it might snap at one wrong move.

Later, you remind yourself. That unfinished business will come later.

–

The air is thick with the mingled scents of liquor, body odor, and several variants of cheap cologne. And it’s so hot. People move around you in groups, and the floor beneath your feet is sticky from some spilled drink that hadn’t been properly cleaned. The heavy beat of a rock song slam against your chest, and as you look around you think you see more tattoos than skin, more leather than jeans, and more filled cups than empty hands.

You’re not scared. Far from it, actually. The energy of the crowd feeds your own, the music heightening your excitement as you follow Frankie and Santiago through the crowd and squeeze yourselves into an open spot right in front of the cage. One of them, you can’t tell who, shoves a drink into your hand and tells you its on them.

You hold the beverage, but don’t partake as the referee begins to announce the next fighter. The first thing you see is a flash of red shorts.

Perhaps it’s for show, watching Ben make his way from the door to the cage, swaying his shoulders with each step, his eyes locked on it and nothing else as heavy metal blasts around you. You don’t exist to him. Not right now. Regardless, heat pools in your stomach. 

He takes is sweet time peeling off his shirt and stretching his shoulders. He turns away from you so Will can help him into his gloves, allowing you a full view of that gloriously muscled back. You admire each line of muscle, each movement he makes as he turns and enters the ring. To hell with all the people around you. You want that. You want that over you, under you, all around you. You could touch him everywhere at once and it still wouldn’t be enough to satisfy you–

His eyes find you in the crowd, and he winks.

If it was socially acceptable to swoon, you might have.

Maybe you did, anyway.

–

The fight itself doesn’t last long. At one point you set your untouched drink down, then promptly kick it over when you leap to your feet to cheer.

Even then, you can’t help but clinch every time someone lands a hit, skin reddening and bruising, breathing labored and shallow until a hand is being lifted in the air in victory. It’s Ben’s.

–

You wait outside the lockers with the guys. Santiago is weaving a tale from his days in Brazil that you’re only half paying attention to. You remain standing off to the side, sipping a lukewarm water, watching.

It takes a while for Ben to come out. The blood has been cleaned from his face and, remarkably, the only lasting mark is a purple-blue bruise above his cheekbone. But he’s grinning ear to ear, and he pulls first Santiago, then Frankie into a bear of a hug. You see his face over their shoulders, how hie eyes still veritably glow with the same energy you’d seen in the ring.

You push yourself from the wall you’re leaning against, and step up to them. Ben’s eyes meet yours as if by gravitational pull.

You’d felt drawn to him since the day you’d met. But this is like meeting him for the first time. A dim hallway. The crowd slowly draining out from the gymnasium. You, holding a cup of piss-poor excuse for water, and him.

The boys quietly let Ben know that they’ll catch up with him later, and melt into the meandering crowd.

The shift in his expression makes it achingly clear what Ben wants. His gaze lingers, now. His shoulders seem broader as he steps towards you, his gym bag over one shoulder, his other arm extended for you. 

“Let’s go.” His voice is different in the aftermath of the fight. You can see the adrenaline still pumping in the way his eyes lock on you.

You find your way to his body, and let him guide you outside. His hand sneaks around your waist and under your shirt, his fingers digging into the skin above your hipbone. He guides your steps with a fierceness, and as soon as you make it back to his car, his hand wanders lower, lower.

He tosses his bag into his car, refusing to let you go. Another swift motion has you pinned between the heat of his body and the side of the car.

He’s in front of you, caging you in, his fingers lingering at the waistband of your leggings, his shirt damp from the shower he just took, hair dangling over his forehead. You clamp your hands down on his biceps, digging your fingers into skin and muscle and him.

You barely have time to register it all before his lips crash into yours, and the empire of your longing comes crashing down.

Yes, you could stand to be with this for a little longer.

[illegal-spiegel]

TikTok Famous Yuji Itadori/Ryomen Sukuna

Genre: crack? Warnings: eboy/fboy shenanigans A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ITADORI!! Lol I had this idea at like 3 am when I was going to bed so sorry if this sucks <3

Itadori started out with just posting goofy and tiktoks of himself

he, like most, didn’t expect to become famous and was just doing it for fun

he had a decent amount of followers though since he’s funny and is friends with practically everyone at his school 

one day, he went live to just talk to the hundred people or so that joined

they all kept daring him to go to a haunted house, graveyard, or somewhere spooky like that

Yuji Itadori wouldn’t be Yuji Itadori if he ever backed down from a challenge 

so, the next thing he knows, he’s in the car with his two best friends heading to a ‘haunted’ location 

Itadori doesn’t actually believe in ghosts or anything like that though

they brought an ouija board and everything 

they all sat down and started using it to ‘talk’ to spirits

his friends claimed that since he’s recording, the spirits won’t talk to them though

“I’m not recording! I’m live on TikTok!” he argues

they make him end the live nonetheless

when he did though, their candles flicker and they all suddenly feel a chill go down their spine 

they all brush it off as the wind and go back to trying to contact spirits

they end up ‘contacting’ a few but Itadori was looking for something a little more exciting 

“Demons and devils alike! Make yourself known!” he roars

one of his friends hits his arm and tells him that it wasn’t funny and that he shouldn’t egg them on like that 

“Like what? Oh, like this?” 

he then stands up and starts to goad the demons and whatever else is there 

“You’re all ugly! I bet you’re too weak to do anything to me! C’mon! Show us something exciting!” 

when nothing happens, as he predicts, he turns back to his friends with a smile 

“See? I told y—” 

the lights suddenly go out and the moon is all they have as light

Itadori shivers, seeing his breath when he lets out a sigh 

before anyone can really react, Itadori’s head is thrown back 

he stands as stiff as a board, even when his friends call out to him worriedly 

what they can’t see are his eyes glowing red and his jaw unhinged 

tattoos crawl along his body before disappearing, Itadori’s head coming up when they vanish 

“C’mon, guys, let’s go back. I’m bored,” Itadori says like nothing happened

maybe nothing did 

the next day though, Itadori was in the middle of filming a video when the demon appears 

“What are you wearing, kid?” the demon asks when he sees his reflection in the oddly tiny and rectangle mirror

the demon stands and stretches out his limbs, taking a deep breath 

“It’s good to be back.” 

he’s not back for long before he’s sent away, Itadori returning back to his usual self 

“What just happened...” 

Itadori brushes it off as lack of sleep before going back to his video and then going to bed early 

over the next week, the demon secretly watches Itadori’s actions 

he’s fascinated by his phone, as the boy calls it, and all the videos he posts, as he also learned from listening in on Itadori’s conversations  

the next time he appears, it’s when Itadori is out at the mall 

the demon buys things more in his style before making his way back to their home 

when he arrives, he puts on the black clothes and piercings he got 

and just for the fun of it, he records a video 

he doesn’t do much though, seeing as how he doesn’t know what’s popular these days 

he just smirks at the camera with bedroom eyes and rolls his sleeves up to show off his strong muscles and tattooed arms, lightly bobbing his head to the music

when he finishes it, he saves it and changes Itadori back before letting Itadori take over again 

Itadori blinks a couple of times before realizing he’s at home 

strange, he doesn’t remember driving back 

hm, guess he really needs to start paying attention more

about a week later, he comes across the video in his drafts and doesn’t know what to say 

sure, he’s played around with the idea of dressing up like an eboy for the hype but every time he’s tried, he’s never looked good, in his opinion 

he shrugs it off and decides to post it, trying to remember when he painted on tattoos like that 

say, where did those clothes come from? 

it didn’t take long for the video to blow up 

Itadori was in awe when he realized it 

he was a little bummed though when none of his other videos blew up though 

guess he really is just going to have to dress up like an eboy to receive attention

the next time he goes to record, he makes sure to put on a similar outfit, that he doesn’t remember buying, before recording 

the demon uses this as his opportunity to record again 

he’s made sure to pay attention to videos that Itadori watches on his homepage, remembering different dances and songs that would go with his aesthetic 

he doesn’t know why he enjoys the attention so much. Maybe it’s because he’s not strong enough to take control over this body yet, so he’s just killing time for now 

or maybe he’s just a bit of a showoff

who knows

either way, when he starts to play the slow and sensual song, he smirks as he rolls his hips and shows off the veins in his arms 

he doesn’t hesitate to post it either 

as soon as he does though, Itadori returns 

the man blinks before assuming he spaced out, seeing as how he’s still on the app 

he turns the camera on and looks over himself, grunting

he thought he looked good in the mirror but the fake tattoos really did the outfit justice 

he started to wonder if he could do it again when he notices that he’s starting to get a lot of new notifications 

he starts to grow excited before realizing that it’s a video he’s never seen before 

he watches it with a dropped jaw, not believing that it’s him 

he checks the date and—hey! That’s today!

that doesn’t make sense though. He hasn’t recorded anything yet and he doesn’t have the tattoos painted on his skin 

‘Can you be any dumber? Jeez, maybe I should’ve chosen one of your friends instead. You were just so annoying though, standing there and taunting me, acting as if I can’t do anything.’ 

“What? Who’s there?” Itadori stutters out, looking around his bedroom only to find himself alone 

‘What? Can you hear me, kid?’ 

“Um, yes?” Itadori says unsurely, wondering if he’s losing his mind 

‘You’re not losing your mind, I’m just inside of it. Ha, that was kinda funny.’ 

“I’m sorry, you’re what?” Itadori asks, crashing into his seat

‘Hey, don’t pass out. I’m just a friendly, little demon that’s possessing you.’ 

“Oh, right, of course,” Itadori mumbles, rubbing his hands over his face

‘It’s true, kid. Remember when you went out with your friends and started yelling at spirits or whatever to do something exciting? Well, I hope this is exciting enough.’ 

“Okay, wait. Let me get this straight. So, you’re telling me that I’m not actually insane and that you’re a real demon possessing me?”

‘Precisely. Glad you’re a quick learner, kid.’ 

“Right, so, um, do you have a name?” 

‘Sukuna.’

“Sukuna, okay. And do you, Sukuna, have anything to do with my patchy memory?”

‘Why, I’m glad you asked! I actually do. Hm, smart kid.’ 

“So, how does that work exactly?” 

‘It’s simple. When I have enough power saved up or just feel like it, you and I switch places.’

“Switch places?”

‘Yup. So, I’m in your brain right now but when I switch with you, you move to the brain and I take over the body,’ Sukuna explains. 

“Right, okay, cool. I’m guessing you’re responsible for the videos with the tattoos then?” 

‘Also correct. We look good, huh?’ 

Itadori pauses to pick up his phone and unlock it, watching the two videos that he’s made 

“Yeah, we do, actually. I’m getting famous, you know.” 

‘Well, kudos, kid.’ 

“Do you, uh, think you could do this again?”

‘What, make videos for you?’

“Yeah. You like making them, right? I’m sure you like to have control over my body for a while too.”

‘Hm, you got a point.’

“So, will you do it, Sukuna?”

‘Hmm, I don’t know.’ 

“You don’t know?” 

‘I want longer control over your body.’

“Um, okay. How do I do that?”

‘Well, now that you know I’m here, you’ll be more conscious about ‘where’ I’m at. So, if given your permission, I can take over your body for as long as I want.’

“That doesn’t sound too bad...”

‘Great! We have a deal then.’

“I guess so.”

and that, my friends, is how Itadori because famously known as one of the hottest tiktok boys 

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MASTERLIST

More with Itadori

Tag List: @nojammsss03​, @katsuhera​ ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

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[thiswasinevitableid]

For the meet uglies, 41, Sternclay, NSFW?

Here you go! And if you're a fan on "Let me be good to you" this has very similar vibes.

41: I’m at the 24/7 gym at 2 in the morning and I thought I was alone so I’m singing in the showers, but when you start singing with me, I’m startled and slip so the first time we meet, we’re both wet and naked

Stern blames the playlist he had on at work for the fact his morning devolves into chaos. He works better to the blues (or 2000s pop hits, but those don’t feel right when going over files on suspicious incidents in Appalachia). So he hums as he rinses the remnants of his workout down the drain. He’d never sing where someone can hear, but since no one is here.

I want a little steam on my clothes

Maybe I could fix things up so they'll go

What's the matter daddy, come on, save my soul

He goes to rinse his hair and realizes the song is still going.

I need some sugar in my bowl, I ain't foolin'

I want some sugar in my bowl

His lizard brain yells two separate messages; “baritone voice very hot” and “oh god who’s there.”

The second message leaps into the driver seat and, in his attempt to turn, peer out of the stall, and be sure it’s just another patron, his foot finds the traces of soap on the floor.

“Shit” He falls backwards out of the stall, thudding to the floor.

“Oh fuck.” A man emerges two stalls to his left, soaking wet and flailing for a towel, “I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so used to singing along with the radio. Are you okay?”

Joseph scans his body, finds nothing broken, “Yes.”

“Thank god.” The other man flicks shaggy hair from his face. In the split second before he gets the towel around his waist, Joseph’s gym manners fail him and he glances down. At least he’s getting several weeks worth of masturbation fodder from this humiliating moment.

“Here man, lemme help you up.”

Joseph takes the offered hand, then grits his teeth and swiftly turns to grab his own towel from where he hung it. He’d rather not show a stranger his ass, but this is how his night is going. As he turns back, he spots the other man quickly redirecting his stare from his ass to the floor.

Once both showers are off, Joseph changes and packs his bag. The stranger is at the mirror, tying his hair back and combing his beard.

“I’m sorry, my singing probably startled you too.”

A shrug of broad shoulders, “I work in kitchens, I’m so used to background noise some of it barely registers. And I always have the radio on when it’s just me in the mornings.”

“Hence the singing along?”

“Yeah, and why I’m here so early. I try to get my exercise in before work. Gotta admit, when I joined this gym I didn’t expect anyone else would be in for a 2 a.m workout.”

“My hours are all over the place. I’m with the FBI and when I’m on a case I tend to, um, lose track of time. Or work way later than I should.” He shoulders his bag, raises his hand in a wave, “it was nice meeting you. Even it was alarming at first.”

“Same to you” the man smiles at him over his shoulders, “and if you’re ever here at zero dark thirty again and want a gym buddy, I’m happy to keep you company.”

--------------------------------------

It’s a month before Joseph runs into him again. He swipes his card at the gym, finds the clank of a weight rack in place of the usual silence. The man from the showers smiles at him as he puts his bag near medicine balls, and when he’s done with his set he crosses the 80s-colored carpet to join him.

“It’s much nicer to see you when I can see you coming.” Joseph smiles politely, not catching his own subtext until the other man blushes.

“No kidding. I, uh, this may sound weird, but could I work-out with you? I’ve been doing the same routine for years because it’s what I know, but it gets so fucking boring.”

“I wouldn’t mind the company, though be warned that I do a lot of core and don’t use the machines all that much.”

“Totally fine. I’m, uh, I’m Barclay, by the way.” He holds out his hand and Joseph pictures twisting it behind his back while pinning him over one of the benches.

Instead, he shakes it, “Joseph.”

-----------------------------------------

“I’m serious about skipping this if you need to” Joseph starts up the treadmill as Barclay jogs on the one beside him, “if you’re on your feet all day at work this could make that really uncomfortable.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

It’s the truth; he may not be as in-shape as Joseph, but he’s still pretty fit, and they only do thirty minutes of running. But it’s equally true that he’d rather suffer some extra-sore legs than lose out on a half-hour of his limited time with his friend.

He’d been hoping for someone to spot him and maybe teach him some new lower body exercises, with the added bonus of having some basic things (like music taste and bonkers work schedules) in common. What he’s gotten is someone with a dorky sense of humor, and extensive knowledge of cryptozoology and mystery novels, and the stamina to make engaging conversation about those things while running or working a rowing machine.

It helps that Joseph is so hot that he could caramelize sugar just by looking at it. The glimpses he caught of him when they met were tantalizing; the way his dark hair gradually loosens from it’s gelled state, the way his cheeks turn pink when flushed and sweating, the few times his voice turns truly breathless? Barclay is ready to get on his knees and beg for him to do obscene things in the locker rooms.

What makes this desire impossible to shake is the suspicion that it’s shared. He’s caught Joseph looking at him in a way that isn’t just about his form, and when he shows Barclay a new exercise he stands closer and lingers longer than strictly necessary. And his Freudian slips are so frequent and obvious they may as well be Freudian nightgowns.

Just when he thinks Joseph can’t get any hotter, the agent texts him around their three month mark of working out together warning that he’ll be late. When he arrives, Barclay drops the five pound plate he was moving.

Joseph hasn’t changed clothes. He’s in a full, black suit, shined shoes, and a silver and blue tie that Joseph wants him to take off and loop around Barclays throat instead. The agent smiles with a promise to be right back, seems bemused when he returns to find Barclay in the exact spot and position he left him.

“You okay, big guy?” The nickname is one of the many ways he built a home for himself in Barclays daydreams.

“Uh. Uh, yeah, sorry, got lost in thought. I haven’t started on the full workout, did some extra stretching since I’m kinda tight from yesterday. You wanna do weights first?”

“Sure.”

Their routine lasts about an hour. It’s an act of god that Barclay gets through it unscathed. Joseph is even more hands-on than usual, and his cologne (bergamot and citrus, if Barclay has his scents right) hasn’t had a chance to fade. The most distracting element of the whole morning is his friend’s voice; there’s an edge to it, like a knife in a velvet sheath, and Joseph gives fewer suggestions and more orders.

Barclay wants him to sound like this forever. But only if he can rearrange his life so that he can follow every command.

After a very cold shower, he falls in next to Joseph as they push through the double doors into the warm night. When he reaches his car, the other man touches his cheek.

“Drive safe, big guy.”

He wonders if Joseph can feel him blush in the dark, “I will, agent. I promise.”

-----------------------------------------

“I told them to get those dark spots checked” Joseph shakes his head at the notice on the door informing them the gym will be closed for the next two weeks to repair massive water damage in the ceiling.

“I’m just bummed I won’t get to work out with you. It’s not as fun alone in my apartment.”

“You could come over to mine, if we can find a time where it works.”

“I’d love to.”

Barclay double checks that the address on the apartment in front of him matches the one Joseph sent, while trying not to fixate on the text that came with it.

Joseph: Be ready, big guy, I’m going to work you hard

He knocks on the designated door, pushes it open when Joseph calls for him to come in. There’s a yoga mat on the floor and a stationary bike in the corner, and far too little space for two grown men to work out together.

“Do you want me to help move the couch? That might give us...more...room.”

Joseph, in his full suit and dress shoes, leans against the kitchen doorway with a confident smile.

“Y-you’re not working out with me, are you?” Barclay’s hopes hurry to the front of his brain, tripping up his tongue.

“No. I did mine earlier today.” He runs a finger along Barclay’s chest, “I designed a special one, just for you. If you get through it all, you get a reward.”

“What kind?”

Joseph leans in to kiss him softly and swiftly, “I’ll let you fuck me.”

Barclay’s hands fly out to grips his shoulders as he groans, “fuck, babe, really?”

“Really. But first, you have to pick two things from this list.” He hands Barclay a sheet of memo paper with a neatly written list of the lewdest exercises he’s ever seen. He’d offer to do all of them, but then he might not have enough energy to enjoy his reward.

“The, uh, the push ups and the crunches.”

Joseph raises an eyebrow expectantly.

“Please?”

“Okay, big guy, we’ll do those. Get on the mat, push up position.”

Barclay hurriedly obeys. Freshly shined shoes step onto the top edge of the mat.

“We’ll just do thirty today. I’ll count. Ready?”

He nods.

“Good boy. Down, one”

Barclay bends his elbows, only stopping when his lips touch the top of Joseph’s shoes. He holds there a two-count, then rises.

“Down, two.”

He repeats the motion, keeps time with Joseph’s count as a hint of polish curls into his nose. It should be boring, maybe even degrading, but fuck him if it isn’t the hottest fucking thing he’s done in years. Joseph is so put together, so poised, Barclay feels like an unkempt beast next to him in his gym clothes. Yet he’s letting him kiss his lovingly shined shoes, telling him he’s a good boy as he works up a sweat.

“Down, thirty.” Joseph joins him on the floor as Barclay sits back on his heels, “well done. Now, on your back please.”

Barclay lays down. Joseph grabs a silver item from the side table and holds it in front of him. It takes his lust-glazed brain a second to grasp it’s a cock cage.

“Can I put this on you? You’ll have to wear it the rest of the workout.”

“Ohfuckplease.”

Joseph leans forward enough to kiss his chest, then shifts his shorts down to his thighs and locks the cage into place.

“If you need to stop, just say red. Okay?”

He nods frantically.

“Okay?” Joseph repeats with a stern look.

“Okay.”

“Good boy.” Joseph lifts his legs and sets them over his left shoulder. Barclay whimpers as there’s a snap of a latex glove and a pop of lube. Joseph smirks as Barclay whines at his teasing touches.

“Two sets, forty each. Go ahead and count in your head.”

“Okay” He curls his body, only gets through two more crunches before a finger presses in. “fuck!”

“Focus, big guy.” Joseph kisses his knee.

“I am, I’m focusing on the fact you’re a fucking genius.”

“If you lose count, you’ll have to start over” he presses in the second finger, “and that means longer until your reward.”

“I’m, I’m on twenty!”

A kiss to his calf, “Keep going.”

By the time he hits the second “forty” his legs are burning and Joseph is stretching his ass open with three fingers. He pulls them free but keeps Barclays legs in place, tugs the glove off and removes a blue, silicone plug from his jacket pocket . It slides in comfortably, but Barclay whimpers his name all the same.

“You’re doing so well Barclay. Are you ready to keep being my good boy?”

“Yes, please yes.”

Joseph sets his legs on the floor, guides him to his knees so he can pull his shorts up, and then helps him to his feet, pausing to kiss him sweetly and run his lips along his neck.

“Twenty minutes on the bike. Whatever speed you like.”

Barclay eases himself onto the seat, starts pedaling and watches longingly as Joseph heads into the kitchen saying he'll be back in a minute. The plug isn’t too uncomfortable to sit on, so this should be a breeze.

He hunches forward with a moan as it starts vibrating. Joseph strides back into the room, remote control in hand, only stopping to give Barclay another kiss and run his fingers through his hair before dropping onto the couch.

“Let me know when you’re done.” He picks up a copy of Empire and starts reading, heedless of Barclay’s increasingly loud moans.

The vibrator starts and stops, sometimes a gentle buzz and sometimes a furious pulse, and Barclay fights to keep the pedals going under the onslaught, desperate not to lose time and eager to please the man stealing tender, hungry glances at him from the couch.

“Time” He gasps, pulling his feet free from the pedals. Joseph is up and to him before his legs have a chance to wobble. Once he’s on the couch, shirt soaked with sweat, Joseph straddles him and kisses him demandingly, mouth moving from lips to cheek to neck without a care for sweat.

“Will you be a good boy and let me get off on you?”

“You know I fuckin will, fuck, babe, wanna be so fuckin good for youAH, ohgod” He throws his arms around Joseph, clinging and groping as he grinds on the cage and the aching cock within it.

“You look so good like this big guy, exhausted and obedient for me.”

“Yes, yesyes all for you, Joseph, please cum on me.”

“I will baby, don’t worry.” He brushes their lips together, “do you want some more kisses while I do.”

“Uhhuh” He whines, the noise only growing as Joseph kisses him and works his hips recklessly, his hands slipping up Barclays shirt to squeeze his pecs and toy with his nipples. When the tempo of his jerking hips changes, Barclay holds him tighter, needing to feel the way his body tenses and shudders as he cums more than he’s needed anything in his life.

“There” Joseph grins, panting, and pulls the key to the cage from his breast pocket, “now you can have your reward.” He slides to the floor, yanking Barclays shorts with him on the way. The cock cage hits the carpet and then a wet, enthusiastic mouth swallows him almost to the root.

“Ohfuck, Joseph, babe I’m gonna cum in like two seconds you, you might wanna-”

The agent pulls off, lazily licking the head, “I don’t want cum on the carpet, big guy. So be a good boy and cum down my throat.”

He gets exactly three and a half ecstatic thrusts into Joseph’s mouth before his orgasm knocks the breath from him and he cums, moaning out thanks as he does. When he’s spilled the last of it, Joseph sits back, breathing deep and wiping his lips.

“J-joseph? Will you, uh, will you kiss me again?”

The other man clambers into his lap, bitter taste on his tongue when Barclay glides his own against it. When he finally stops to breathe, Joseph pets his beard.

“Was all that okay?”

“So fucking okay. It was incredible. I, I feel so fucking good. Sweaty, but good.”

A kiss on the cheek, “Shower is just down that hall. Go get clean while I order dinner.”

“Okay.” Barclay looks at him with dreamy hope, “do you, uh, wanna do this again sometime?”

“Often. If, um, if that’s okay with you?”

Barclay nods, “as long as we can still work out together? I like doing that with you.”

“Of course, big guy.”

[uwuwriting]

Nishinoya, Kenma and Tendou w/ lyric prank

Request: Hi um so since you are writing for Haikyu now could I maybe get Kenme, Tendou and NIshinoya with a cute lyric prank? Like super sweet songs. Thank you and you can ignore this I’m sorry.

Don’t be sorry sweet anon of course I’m gonna write it. I love writing for Haikyu and I like it when you guys request things for them. Since you didn’t specify which songs I used some of my favorites. Love yaa. 💖💖💖

rules

warnings: Tendou’s is SUGGESTIVE.

songs: ‘Cuz I love you- Lizzo, Love- Keyshia Cole, Cyber sex- Doja Cat

NIshinoya Yuu

-I feel like Nishinoya is familiar with tik tok.

-And by familiar I mean addicted. 

-So he had seen those lyric pranks here and there but never really paid any mind to them. 

-You on the other hand found them so cute. 

-And of course you wanted to see how your boyfriend would react.

-You had two options.

- One, send a horny/sexy song in hopes this escalates to something else.

- Two, send a sweet/ lovey dovey song and get a cute response.

-You went for the second option because you were feeling extra cuddly and you knew that he would come over to shower you with affection the moment you send the first lyric.

-He’s just like that.

-Overly affectionate in general and would leave whatever he’s doing if you need him.

-You were already chatting with him, he was telling a stupid thing Tanaka did to Kiyoko when you suddenly sent the first lyric. 

- ‘ Never been in love before.                                                                                      What the fuck are fucking feelings yo?’

-He didn’t respond immediately so you took the opportunity to send another text. 

- ‘ Once upon a time, I was a ho .                                                                                I don't even wanna ho no mo'

- ‘Wait this sounds familiar....I KNOW THIS FROM SOMEWHERE!!!’

-You were kinda disappointed.

-You were hoping to keep him guessing for a little longer but you knew that when it came to you he was extra perceptive.

-He would sense when something was off in an instant. 

-That’s why you couldn’t keep something hidden from him for longer than a day, and I’m being generous. 

- ‘ Got you something from the liquor store.                                                        Little bit of Y/N and some Mo Tryna open up a little more Sorry if my heart a little slow’

- ‘Who said you are slow? IM GONNA FIGHT THEM I SWEAR!!!”

-You were cackling at this point, he was taking this very seriously. 

-Still you were amazed at how he hadn’t figured out the song yet.

-But since you are a little shit you continued. 

- ‘ I thought that I didn't care I thought I was love-impaired But baby, baby I don't know what I'm gonna do’

-I swear you could sense the moment the lyrics clicked in his mind through the screen. 

-Matching your energy he responded. 

- ‘IM CRYING!’

- ‘CUZ I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

-Both of you sent the last part at the same time followed by an array of heart memes and voice messages of you trying to hit the high notes. 

-He did come over after leaving you on read for 10 minutes. 

-You two cuddled and played the song on repeat for 3 hours straight. 

Kozume Kenma

-Sweet lil kitty.

-He loves you and you know it. 

-He doesn’t really like tik tok.

-He just can’t understand the hype behind it.

-So he is completely oblivious to this whole trend. 

-You two are hanging out in his room. 

-He was in the middle of a stream, commenting here and there on the game and answering a few questions. 

-You were laying on his bed scrolling through your instagram and blasting music through your earphones. 

-That’s when a love song came on and you wanted to dance and sing to it so badly but he was streaming....

-You wanted to share it with him because the lyrics reminded you of him and it was so cute. 

-Slightly pouting in your mini misery you remembered the lyric trend. 

-Even though the videos you had seen had been suggestive you weren’t really in the mood for that. 

-You just wanted to cuddle him. 

-Going into your chat you started to type the part you were listening to right now. 

- ‘  Now you're gone, what am I gonna do So empty ‘

-His phone vibrated and he spared a glance at it but didn’t see what the message was.

-You weren’t about to give up though.

- ‘ My heart, my soul can't go on ‘

-He ignored it again.

- ‘ Go on, baby, without you’

-He spared a glance at it again and you contemplated on stopping in fear he might get annoyed when he saw it was you. 

-But you knew he will only get flustered afterwards.

- ‘ My rainy days fade away when you come around please tell me baby’

-He grabs his phone as it vibrates and unlocks it.

-You can hear the chat going wild with messages when he smiles down at his screen, a rare occasion. 

-You send another message. 

- ‘ Why you go so far away Why you go ‘

-The blush that tinted his cheeks darkened as he turned to look at you. 

- “I’m not that far away....” he whispered.

-The chat was beyond confused on what was going on. 

-You sent the last lyric and that’s when he decided to end the live stream. 

-He apologized to his fans and turn the computer off.

-He pounced on you the moment the camera turned red and he kissed you like there was no tomorrow.

-His phone lay open still in your chat, your last text facing the ceiling. 

- ‘ Love Never knew what I was missing But I knew once we start kissin' I found you.’

Tendou Satori

-It’s a race of who does the trend first.

-You are both addicted to tik tok.

-That’s one of the reasons you are together. 

-You are similar and like the same things. 

-So you both have seen the trend on multiple occasion and have sent each other videos. 

-In a way you were challenging the other to try it. 

-You knew that your boyfriend loved pampering you in kisses and love, and you were tempted to  send a love song something sweet. 

-But you also knew that he was a little freaky, always making comments and getting you worked up. 

-So you decided to be freaky yourself.

-He was at practice when you finally put your plan in motion.

-He would always answer your texts during his water brakes so it wouldn’t be long until he saw it. 

- ‘ And he don't even scroll through Insta 'Less he going through my pictures ‘

-Half an hour passed until he finally replied. 

- ‘You know me too well princess’

-  ‘You’re too irresistible I can’t help myself.’

-You bit your lip at the messages and you knew that it wouldn’t take long before the more ..... PG 18.

-Debating whether or not to continue and since you were a little shit, you send the next lyric. 

- ‘  I wanna touch on you You see me in my room’

-This time he didn’t hesitate to answer. 

- ‘Oh is my girl feelin’ needy?’

-Not yet at least. 

- ‘ Wish you were here right now All of the things I'd do ‘

-You assumed that his break should be over when you sent the text. 

-Just to tease him. 

-But to your surprise he messaged back rather quickly. 

- ‘Tsk tsk you just had to do this while I have practice didn’t you?’

- ‘I’ll have to punish you for that.....’

-Here we go!!!

-You knew that if you continued you would be in for it big time. 

-Even though you hadn’t been feeling particulary needy lately, messing with Tendou was always fun. 

-You were usually the one being teased but turning the tables every once in a while was healthy.

-Even though he wouldn’t become a blushing mess like you, you still liked getting this reaction from him. 

-Getting him worked up and impatient to get home was a bonus. 

-You knew sending the last lyric would be your downfall. 

-So you took a swan dive. 

- ‘I wanna get freaky on camera I love when we get freaky on camera’

TAG TEAM AY: @brattyquirks​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​

[hopetofantasy]

‘HUMO’s big youth survey - Sex, love and relationships’ - With Nathan Bouts

- TW: explicit content and mentions of sexual assault, intimidation, getting drugged, (internalized) homophobia, slutshaming, dubious consent, sexualization -

‘How does youth look at love? Do they go all out or keep it safe with a round of virtual sex? An experienced trio may reveal it all: Billie Leyers (25) is the third child from the well-known family Leyers and singer-song writer. Marie Van Uytvanck (21) recently kicked it off with her band Kids With Buns all the way to the semi-finals of ‘Humo’s Rock Rally’. For the testosterone at this table we’ve got Nathan Bouts (22), actor in the youth series ‘wtFOCK’. ‘I long for some spontaneity again. May I squeeze your butt?’

- Note from hopetofantasy: Marie is the same person who made the LGBT+ podcast, where Yara Veyt talked about her sexuality. -

The first number: 6 out of 10 youngsters think a serious relationship is important. Do you guys dream about that? Billie Leyers: “A lot of my girl friends are really looking for steady relationships. I’m not that type of person, I’d like to see what crosses my path. But for some kind of reason I still end up in one. Since I’ve been sexually active - soon it’ll be 10 years ago: huray! - I’ve had three long relationships. Now I’ve been together with Jasper (Maekelberg, from ‘Faces on TV’) for two and a half years. Coincidentally, it’s the man I wish to grow old with.” Nathan Bouts: “I think a serious relationship is a nice idea, but at the moment I don’t have one.” What kind of boxes should a potential partner tick on your list? Nathan Bouts: “Sounds pretentious, but I want someone with a certain intellectual level, someone I can talk to. She must be sure of herself.” Billie Leyers: “It’s the same for me. It doesn’t matter if someone is a good plumber, an actor or a musician, he should come home and talk about his day with passion. The biggest turn-off is someone who just smokes joints on a couch and doesn’t know how to handle his life.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “I might have a really weird box to tick: if I get to know someone, I want to see her Spotify-playlist. I can be really attracted to someone with the right playlist.”

Has Spotify provided you with a relationship yet? Marie Van Uytvanck: “Not yet. The fact that I was stuck in the closet for a long time, sure has something to do with that. I think a lot of people might have wondered for a long time if I was asexual. So, no. It just took me seven years before I was completely ready to share it with everyone.” You made a podcast about it: the ‘Uit De PodKast’. There, you talk about how you’ve told your parents. Marie Van Uytvanck: “Friends knew it already, but I waited a long time to come out at home. Actually, my parents just know about it recently: I’ve told them during lockdown, with a letter. Their reaction was really sweet. They mostly felt shitty for me, because I felt unhappy about it for years on end - I’ve known I liked girls since I was 14. I’ve never had a serious relationship, but I’ve dated someone for a long time. Even that was very complicated, because I was still in the closet. So we saw each other in secret at a café across the country (*laughs*). Ridiculous: two girls could sit next to one another perfectly, without people thinking they’d be on a date.” How is your relationship with your parents? I’m wondering, because there doesn’t seem to be a conflict between generations with the current one: four out of ten would even like to live in the same area as their parents.  Marie Van Uytvanck: “Since I came out to them, our bond has strengthened. Right before my coming out, it was a bit weird. During that time we went on vacation together. I’ve never longed for my own dorm more than on that trip. But now, I like to hug my mom all the time. The big secret isn’t a road block between us anymore.” Billie Leyers: “I live with my partner, but I get a long with my parents very well. Sometimes too much, I guess. If I didn’t call them or one of my sisters by noon, then Jasper asks me what’s wrong. Why should we even rebel to our parents? I’ve got the impression that their generation was far more rock-and-roll than ours. My dad gets annoyed at the festivals nowadays: opening bags and searching people, what’s rock-and-roll about that? Back in his days, everything was far more relaxed. They were the generation of the orgies. I wouldn’t mind to go back to that. It’s all too goody-goody now.” RETWEET! Out of all the serious relationships between young people, one out of five people met online. Five years ago, that number was only 15 percent.  Marie Van Uytvanck: “I’ve done it a few times, but I don’t think Tinder dating is pleasant. The idea that you meet someone and have to approve them, doesn’t feel right to me. Spontaneously meeting someone in-person with whom it clicks, seems way more fun. Even when it’s not that easy, since I fall for people of the same sex.” Billie Leyers: “I’ve got zero experience with Tinder. My relationships always started at school.” Like 1 out of 3 youngsters.  Billie Leyers: “I’ve met Jasper at school too: he was the mentor for my thesis. So yeah, I’ve run off with the teacher (*laughs*). I’ve seen it in my environment though, online dating. They’d be chatting for weeks or months, eventually meet up and then find out that there is no spark between them. It’s a shame, three months of your life in the thrash.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Of course: you’ve been idolizing them for a while. Also, in a chat conversation you can still think before you send something, so no mistakes either.” Corona has been an obstacle in the life of the single: 73 percent of them hasn’t had new dates since March.  Nathan Bouts: “I didn’t experience the lockdown as dramatic. I just completely focussed on my music. With results, since my first single will be released soon.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “So you didn’t do anything the whole time? Not that I’ve done illegal dates during lockdown, but afterwards I’ve had some new dates. And no, it wasn’t always with social distance or face masks. Dating like that, seems a bit weird, no? (*Speaks to Billie*) Wasn’t it hard for you guys, as a couple?” Billie Leyers: “With a lot of couples it was the one or the other: they fell in love more than ever or it was over. It went surprisingly well with us: we’re perfectly in tune with each other. We give each other the much needed space.” Nathan Bouts: “That’s a great relationship you have! It seems fun to have something similar during the next lockdown, even though I’m kinda attached to my own independence. I’ve had a relationship of three years. If we were together for a week, I needed a few days to myself afterwards. Also, I think it’s terrible to sleep next to someone.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Retweet! I’ve got the exact same. During the day, I’m already all over the place: I’ve got ADHD and talk too much. So when I get home, I’d like to go to bed, lay in my own smell.”

SQUIRREL IN BED Only 5 percent of serious teen relationship have met each other at a café. Do you guys walk up to someone at the bar? Billie Leyers: “Only the creepy types still do that. ‘You seem nice. Can I have your number?’ Then you leap back immediately, if you’re a woman.” Nathan Bouts: “Really? I think a guy could still do that though. I don’t - I hate flirting - but I see a lot of friends of mine do the same. They even use me. Then they pull me along at my arm, until the girl - they like to hit on - sees me: “Look, it’s my friend, Jens from ‘wtFOCK’. My character is a somewhat chill dude without any complexes, who’s seriously confident, so that resonates with the ladies. I don’t want to use that to impress them, but my friends don’t get it: ‘Why don’t you use that attention to sleep around?’.” That would be the 14 percent who fits the statement: if you’re young, you have to try as many sex partners as you like. Billie Leyers: “I’m not a guy, but the time you could dance with a girl and suddenly kiss her on the mouth, is completely behind us, I guess. If you’re not careful, they could accuse you of sexual assault afterwards. I long for a time we could do that again. Not that I’m pro-sexual assault, but a little bit of spontaneity is allowed, right? Everything has a question mark now: may I kiss you? May I squeeze your butt? Life has gotten less romantic.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “At parties, I still see - excuse me: saw - that happening, though: squeezing the butt. All my girl friends are bothered by it.” Nathan Bouts: “(*nods*) Some of my friends can’t go out for an evening of dancing without some dude grinding against them.” Billie Leyers: “But those are the creepy types. Only them still dare to try. Although: a while ago, I was walking over the Groenplaats with my bike in hand. Suddenly some guy asked me timidly if he could walk along. First I thought it was weird, but it was kinda cute too. He walked with me and said goodbye in a polite way. He probably noticed that my ‘I’m taken’-light was on. If I was single, I might have given him my number. That would be a nice story, right?” Do you think, just like almost one out of three young people, that #metoo is being greatly exaggerated? When asked the guys, it’s even 38 percent. Billie Leyers: “Difficult topic. I’m not that into hashtag MeToo, I guess.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “You have to be careful with statements like that. I do think people abuse the #metoo to get attention. It’s a small amount of people, but like that, they ensure that serious issues get cast into the shadow and that people even use the hashtag as a joke.” Something is happening though: 1 out of 4 girls say they’ve experienced sexual assault and intimidation. Billie Leyers: “Are those also the girls who get squeezed in the butt? For me, sexual intimidation resonates more with skewed balances of power at work. It’s still disgusting of course, but different than someone who puts his hand on your arm at the bar. I think we’ve gone too far in that issue. We’re all human and fumble about.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “You’re right in that. One time, there was a guy a few meters away, starting at a girl on the dance floor. Okay, that wasn’t nice, but it was the ‘Gentse Feesten’ (= a 10-day music and theatre festival in Ghent, known for its partying until the late hours) and everyone was drunk. Suddenly that girl said: ‘I’m gonna fix this.’ She went to get security and they tossed the guy out, while everyone was looking at him as if he was the biggest pervert, who assaulted her. On the other hand, I heard a lot of complaints of girls that they’ve been drugged at parties too.” Nathan Bouts: “Not only girls experience that. I was at a party once and a girl put a bottle of water in my hand, while asking: ‘You thirsty?’. I don’t know if that water was meant for me, but I’m sure they put something in it: I felt weird and dizzy afterwards, I barely made it home with my bike. At home, I sat on the toilet for three hours, not knowing where I was.” Of the girls who had sex, a third did experience it (once) against their wishes. 16 percent of guys state the same. Marie Van Uytvanck: “Last year I was on a trip to Berlin with my class. In the club a woman drugged one of the boys and got him off. If that’s not assault, I don’t know it anymore... But the weird thing was: the boy acted as if nothing was wrong. He even seemed proud of it.” Billie Leyers: “For men, the cliché still stands: every guy likes to get a blowjob. If the guy was proud for real, though, there shouldn’t be a problem.” Did you experience sex against your will, Nathan? Nathan Bouts: “Not really against my will, but it happens that I lose the desire halfway through. It’s my own issue: I get distracted really easily. I could be having sex and suddenly think: why did Nelson Mandela die? Or which color should I paint my wall?” Marie Van Uytvanck: “So relatable. Do you have ADHD too?” Nathan Bouts: “Could be: I’ve got the attention span of a squirrel. Sometimes I can get distracted by the abstract aspect of ‘sex’ itself: what in god’s name is my body actually doing? Then it suddenly gets too graphic.” Now I’m very curious of your first time. Nathan Bouts: “Terrible! When I was 14, I was going to, but then she changed her mind. I didn’t mind that it eventually took a few years: I was 17. What can I say about it? The expectations were high, but not a lot happened.” Billie Leyers: “Isn’t the first time clumsy for everyone? (*to HUMO*) Don’t you have any statistics about that?” Not about that, but I do have numbers about the age of young people when they first have sex. Guess. Nathan Bouts: “Pretty young, I guess. 14? 15? That’s what I hear around me.” 16,7. That’s barely a difference with 2015 (16,6) or even 2010 (16,8). And everyone keeps thinking that young people do it at a younger age. Billie Leyers: “I’ve had a false start, like Nathan: when I was 14, it almost happened. But as soon it was clear that he was going for more, I thought: ‘ho, we’re not going to do that!’ After that experience, it took me two more years before I went all the way. (*to Marie*) So, question: have you ever felt something for a guy?” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Yes. I can feel sexually attracted to a boy, but not romantically. I don’t get butterflies in my stomach for boys.” Five years ago 70 percent of girls thought love and sex should always go together, now only half thinks that way - just like the guys. Do girls have more meaningless one night stands too? Marie Van Uytvanck: “Just with someone random? I don’t like that at all.” Billie Leyers: “I think it might be something. I told before that I usually have long relationships, but in that period between two relationships my inner Samantha from ‘Sex and the city’ emerges and then I could go for a one night stand. When I’m single, I’m a different version of myself, more animal than human, and totally focussed on the physical.” Never had a bad experience? Billie Leyers: “Oh, I did. Once I thought, even before it ended: oops, I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t stay the night, but I left at 6 o’clock in the morning. The regret already appeared. With a good one night stand, both parties are on the same wavelength: you both know it’s noncommittal, almost for sport.” Don’t you get looks for that, as a woman? Billie Leyers: “I’m not the last drunk girl on the dance floor and someone who sits on some other guys’ lap a half an hour later. If you go to your place with a one night stand in a discreet way, nobody will point fingers.” Nathan Bouts: “I wish I could do that, cut sex from love, but I’m too self-conscious for one night stands. Before I can be completely vulnerable, I have to know the other person through and through. Once, I’ve tried it, but as soon as we were laying in bed, I didn’t felt the spark anymore and I just wanted to leave. I couldn’t even get him up. I did went down on the girl and apologized: ‘Sorry, I don’t think more than this will happen’.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Crazy that I heard that from a guy’s mouth, for once.” The young people who did have sex, have done it with an average of five different people. In 2015 it still was 3,3. With guys, the number is even higher than girls: seven compared to three. Nathan Bouts: “I’m far below that: I’ve only been with two girls in total.” Billie Leyers: “(*shocked*) Really? I’ve got more. That’s probably my Samantha that has something to do with that.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “I didn’t have that many sex partners either, especially with the whole closet-thing. If you have sex with a woman, then the question remains: what’s sex and what’s foreplay? Do you count going down as sex or foreplay? Even among us, dykes, we’ve got that kind of conversations. Everyone sees that differently.” Should you, as a girl, better name a lower number every time when it comes to sexual partners? Billie Leyers: “I guess you better not say a number higher than the average.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “I don’t have that impression. Don’t boys experience the same, nowadays? ‘He fucks everyone’.” Nathan Bouts: “Actually, yes. Men can be sluts too.” TRIO WITH A LOG From the survey we can conclude that girls go for partners of the same sex far more than boys.  Billie Leyers: “Between my almost-first time and my real first time, I’ve been with a girl for a year. She was my best friend. Our first kiss was a joke, but soon enough it turned into something serious. We were in love, although you should take that with a grain of salt: we were in love like 15-year-olds could be in love. They didn’t know that at home: I only stayed over at her place for a suspicious amount. I can still feel attracted to girls, but I couldn’t be with a girl anymore. Emotionally, it’s too much and physical it’s too less.” Nathan Bouts: “Boys won’t admit quickly that they would like to try something with a boy. We still live in a macho culture.” The statistics are worrying: 1 out of 6 boys think it’s a problem if there’s a gay friend within their group. A quarter doesn’t think having a transgender between their mates is okay. Nathan Bouts: “I’ve kissed a dude before. I don’t think it’s disgusting at all. I can still look at a man and think: that’s a handsome man. Not that I have the desire to give him a blowjob, far from it, but objectively, I can still find a man beautiful. I think a lot of men think like that, but won’t dare to admit it. For me, that seems like bottled up macho frustrations. I’m not bothered by it.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “When I was prepubescent, I had a weird phase where I didn’t notice that I might be gay, even though it was as obvious as it could be. Not that I participated in gay bashing or made homophobic comments, but I pretended that I thought it was disgusting. I was probably scared of how people would look at me if they knew. (*to Nathan*) Did you know you’re in my podcast? I’m using a scene from wtFOCK where your voice can be heard. It’s such an amazing tv series for young people who are gay, because you guys treat it as a normal thing. As a teen, I missed characters or storylines where I could recognize myself in.” Nathan Bouts: “We’ve often received reactions from young people who are grateful for what we did. Because of us, they took that step to come out.” For the first time, we asked young people to define themselves. 9 percent checked the ‘bisexual’ box, 4 percent call themselves ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’. How do you guys define yourself? Marie Van Uytvanck: “I’m homo-romantic and bisexual, but you can call me gay. Rather that than ‘lesbian’, because that sounds ugly.” Billie Leyers: “I think all those labels are a bit tiring.” Nathan Bouts: “Me too. If I have to, I’ll define myself as heterosexual, but at the same time I think it’s difficult to label myself. Who knows if in one year, I’ll meet a man whom I could fall in love with.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Nice that you can admit that, as a man.” Something seems wrong with the tolerance of boys: two girls who walk hand-in-hand, is a problem for 7 percent of them and 28 percent still thinks it’s weird. Marie Van Uytvanck: “I never walk hand-in-hand on the street, but I wouldn’t do that with a boy either. I simply don’t like it. From the girls who do, I hear that they keep getting sexualized: then they’ll get horny comments directed at them.” Nathan Bouts: “It’s because of porn: lesbian porn is the most viewed category - I read that somewhere.” Are you part of the 30 percent that has seen porn with their partner? Nathan Bouts: “With a partner, I wouldn’t do that. You still have each other?” Billie Leyers: “Nowadays everyone can admit that they watch porn. Watching it together has a certain thrill to it. You’re getting horny by watching the same thing, without touching each other. That’s part of the fun.” Nathan Bouts: “Hm, maybe I should try it.” Something else you could try: sex with multiple partners at once. 6 percent of the sexual active youth has done it. Nathan Bouts: “I don’t know if that’s my ambition, a threesome. It would make me even more self-conscious. And I would think of the practical stuff: how do I organize that? What’s my role? Do I have enough hands to pleasure everyone?” Billie Leyers: “(*laughs*) You’ll need a log!” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Nowadays you see that question pass by a lot on Tinder: couples seeking a third party.” Billie Leyers: “In that concept, I would only like to be the guest star. It’s probably terrible to be the girl in that couple. Immediately, the next day, you’ll think: ‘Will my partner think she was more pretty or better?’ I would only get more insecure.” RACY MATERIALS And what about virtual sex? Of the experienced youngster, a third has done it. In 2015, it was only a quarter of them.  Marie Van Uytvanck: “I wouldn’t dare. I already think that people spy on me through my camera. I would be scared to end up like those three famous people.” (= Two months ago, the nudes from three famous Belgian people were leaked and shared without consent on the internet, causing a storm in their personal lives as well as their fanbase and the Belgian people.)  Billie Leyers: “Every time the conversation comes up, I think: I’m so happy I didn’t have to go through that.” Nathan Bouts: “Absolutely. (*makes a cross for good luck*) I’ve send a nude pic once too, but never with my face on it. Even if that gets leaked, nobody will know that it’s me.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Will we ever know what happened with those people? Who knows, it might’ve been a hacker.” Who of you have seen the images? Marie Van Uytvanck: “Someone pushed them in my face, but I’m kinda blind - my sight is 3 out of 10 - so I didn’t see a lot (*laughs*).” Billie Leyers: “I’m teaching at an art school and I’ve heard 13-year-old girls scream to each other: ‘I’ve got Peter de Veire!’ As if it’s about Pokémon cards you could collect. I corrected her: ‘It’s Peter VAN de Veire and don’t you have something better to do?’.” Do you still dare to do it, sexting? Billie Leyers: “Yes. If my partner is on tour for three weeks, then it might derail to sending each other racy materials. But our bond of trust is strong. Plus: it feels comfortable to know that you have as much incriminating evidence of the other on your cell phone as he has of you.” In ‘De Morgen’, there was an article about the sexting-scandal, with the headline: ‘The spread position between prudish and voyeurism.’ Which side is the youth leaning into? Billie Leyers: “I wouldn’t know. On the one hand, you’ve got Cardi B who’s rapping about wet ass pussy and that sex is the most normal thing in the world, but if you click on a clip of one of those famous people, you’re suddenly a criminal. A weird position, yes.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “Nowadays with every topic, you’ve got two groups. Is Cardi B now the ultimate feminist or is her song just vulgar? It’s the first one for me. I think it’s cool if women can sing about their pussy too, whilst men can rap ‘suck my dick’ for years and nobody bats an eye.” Nathan Bouts: “I’m not a fan of the song, but it’s good that they talk about it. Except: if I open TikTok and see 9-year-old grind on that song, then I think: what image are they growing up with? Two females with fake breasts and a collagen butt who roll over the floor: soon they’ll think that every women needs to look like that.” Let’s end with romance: do you see yourself ever getting married? Almost 1 out of 4 think marriage is outdated.  Nathan Bouts: “I don’t think so. Too expensive and too much effort.” Billie Leyers: “It doesn’t have to be expensive? I see the principle of marriage starting a revival soon. I would like to get married.” And then get two children? An average of two, like most young people? Billie Leyers: “I used to say ‘when I grow up, I want to have 12 children’. That’s because I’m from a big family myself, as were my parents. When the Leyers-clan organizes a family day, we need our own venue.” Marie Van Uytvanck: “I want to have kids, I just don’t want to push them out myself. The idea that a child grows inside you, I don’t like that.” Nathan Bouts: “I want kids too. Two to start, and then we’ll see. Some time ago, I saw a kid on the tram and thought tenderly: ‘A child of my own...’ A slight surge of nesting instinct, I guess.”

[hockeylvr59]

A Christmas Bride || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: I mentioned a Christmas wedding..so here’s a Christmas wedding. Shoutout to everyone who helped with details like nicknames, the dress, and everything else and to those ladies who let me use their names for bridesmaids. See ‘tagged/037′ for inspiration post and first dance song. 

Warnings: I honestly don’t think there’s anything here I need to warn you about. 

Word Count: 6,914 (~250 of which is a reading attributed to its author as mentioned)

~~~~~~

Sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV your fiance was driving, you took in the city lights of Calgary as they slowly disappeared into the rearview mirror. It was three days before Christmas and the Avs had just defeated the Flames on the road. Cale’s parents had left you behind to wait for their son, declaring that they would see you at home soon. When Cale appeared from behind the locker room doors, he was all smiles. With his arms wrapped around you, he’d kissed you softly and then asked if you wanted to go for a drive with him. 

“Well, you’re kinda my ride so I guess so…” You’d teased, leaning against Cale’s side as he took your hand and guided you to where the second car his parents had driven was parked. You had no idea where you were going, but you trusted that Cale did and just relaxed, his hand in yours over the center console as he drove, Christmas carols playing on the radio. 

You’d been on the road for about an hour when you saw Cale glancing over at you. 

“Hey sweetheart, do you trust me?” He asked. You made a face because of course you did, but you were confused as to why he was asking. 

“You know I do…” You simply replied. It was only then that Cale released your hand for a moment, opening one of the many small compartments in the vehicle to pull out something which he dropped onto your lap. 

“Put this on for me?” He requested and when you picked up the item you realized it was a blindfold. 

“Cale?” You murmured, even more confused now as to what was going on. 

“Just trust me and put it on okay?” He insisted. “I promise it’ll all make sense soon and that nothing is going to happen to you.” And because you trusted Cale with everything, you complied, pulling the blindfold over your eyes before leaning against the door again. Moments later Cale reached for your hand and you sat in darkness with him rubbing patterns over your palm just softly singing to the carols playing. About eight songs later you felt the vehicle stop and Cale squeezed your hand in his. 

“Go ahead and unbuckle and sit up.” He instructed. “But don’t touch the blindfold. I promise we’re almost there.” He added. You followed his directions as the sound of his car door slammed shut and then a blast of cold air hit you as your door opened. “Alright, sweetheart...come here.” Cale breathed, offering a hand out to help you from the car and onto your feet. Two more car doors slammed before his hand was taking yours again. 

“Alright. Just come with me. I promise I won’t let you trip. Just a short walk and then I swear you can take the blindfold off.” You were beyond confused and anxious, but the feeling of his hand was soothing as he indeed started guiding your steps. It was a little more than a short walk, but that was only a minor point and after three doors, an elevator ride, and just a few minutes, you were finally stopping, Cale’s hand falling to your hip. 

“Can I take this off now?” You pleaded softly and Cale’s chuckle filled your ears before his fingers drifted up to pull it off of your face. 

“Yes, but just look at me.” He teased, his features appearing across your vision in the dim space. 

“Where are we...what the hell is going on Cale?” You inquired next and Cale ran his fingers across the back of his neck before handing you a wrapped box. 

“Open this...it will explain everything,” Cale promised, his hands cupping your cheeks to pull you in for a kiss that you melted into, your brain swimming. “But I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Stealing one more kiss, Cale moved back through the door that was behind him, as you called his name trying to understand. 

Left alone, you panicked and immediately reached for a light switch. When the lights turned on and you turned around you couldn’t help but gasp. In front of you, off to the left was a jacuzzi tub and a few more steps into the room revealed a king-size bed tucked behind a dividing wall to the right. 

Running your fingers through your hair you made your way over to the bed and plopped down. Remembering the box in your other hand that Cale said would explain everything, you looked at it, quickly pulling off the envelope attached to the top. Inside was a letter and you felt yourself holding your breath as you started to read Cale’s familiar handwriting.

Y/N,

I’m pretty sure it was on our first date that I learned just how much you love Christmastime. And it wasn’t long after that before your friends and family were telling me about how you’ve always dreamed of a Christmas wedding. Watching you light up this time of year is one of my favorite things about you. 

I know being with me isn’t always easy, I know what my career has caused you to give up, will cause you to give up in the future. Yet through it all, you’ve stayed right by my side. I can’t express to you how much that means to me. 

When I proposed, I promised to make all of your dreams come true if you’d just let me make you my wife. 

But since that day I’ve watched you struggle. I’ve seen the pressure of supporting me and taking care of our home weigh on you. I’ve seen the tears you cry when the media is critical of my play or when people who have no business in our personal life butt in on social media. And I’ve seen you struggle to pick a date, decide on a venue for our wedding. In order to make things easier on me, you’ve been trying to wrap your head around a summer wedding, even though we both know that’s not what you want. 

So...without me rambling too much...I know you have questions. Likely, where am I and what the hell is going on? 

Where are you? The Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel in Banff, Alberta. 

What the hell is going on? Open the box now. 

Tossing the wrapping paper to the floor, you opened the box, pulling out a cotton robe from the tissue paper. Turning it over, you held it up, the words ‘Mrs. Makar’ staring back at you in a forest green script. Under that, in a similar deep red script, was ‘12.23.20’, and suddenly swallowing was a lot harder. Picking the letter up again you continued reading, tears forming quickly and streaming down your cheeks. 

I took note of tonight’s game against Calgary on the road from the moment the schedule was released. And it stayed in the back of my mind until that night at Gabe’s where Mel and Courtney grilled you about wedding planning and you came home and cried yourself to sleep. 

Y/N...it absolutely killed me to know that planning our wedding, one of the happiest days of our lives, was making you so upset. If you’ll recall, the next morning I told you to take a break and that it would all work out. 

That morning, I called my mom and your mom on the way to the rink and told them that I wanted to make this particular dream of yours come true. With both our families on board and a very limited date window I started making some calls and with a name drop or five, some luck, and a LOT of hard work, here we are. 

I suppose I should briefly apologize for my slight manipulation of you with insisting you go dress shopping, come up with your half of the guest list, and taste cakes with me but I hope all of that will be quickly forgiven when you see the results of my efforts. 

I love you Y/N and all I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy because from that first day on UMASS’s campus that’s all you’ve ever made me. 

So relax. Everything is taken care of. You just sit back and enjoy. 

Anxious and extremely excited,

Your soon-to-be husband

P.S. Text your mom when you pull yourself together so she can bring you your bag. 

P.P.S. Shower tonight. Breakfast will be brought at 7:30 with your hair and makeup artists arriving around 8:15. 

Cale was truly the absolute best guy on the planet and it all still felt completely surreal. Just yesterday you were stressing over how you were going to get through Christmas with everyone asking about wedding plans and now..now tomorrow you were actually getting married. 

A quick text to your mom and she was there, wrapping her arms around you after setting your bag on the bed. You hadn’t expected to see her until Cale’s first road trip after the holidays when you had plans to fly home and have a belated Christmas with your family. 

“This is really happening?” You found yourself questioning, still unable to shake the shock you were feeling. 

“Yeah, baby girl.” Your mom assured you. “You found yourself a pretty incredible man who would literally give you the moon if you asked for it.” Once again you were blown away by the weight of Cale’s love and though your eyes still watered, your smile was quickly growing. 

After your mom caught you up to date with a few more details, ones Cale’s letter hadn’t provided, she bid you goodnight and told you that she would be back for breakfast in the morning, urging you to try and get some sleep. 

Keeping in mind Cale’s advice to shower tonight, you quickly but carefully ran through an extensive beauty routine in the shower. Since you were still too anxious to sleep, you only quickly dried your body before moving to the jacuzzi tub. Tucked into the warm water with jets soothing your muscles you texted Cale, unable to help yourself. 

You’re insane and incredible and I love you so much. Also...I can’t wait for you to see the dress. xoxo Your Bride. 

You weren’t expecting a response, so you set your phone aside and just tried to relax knowing that morning was already creeping up on you. Feeling your skin start to prune, you finally climbed out, dried off, and crawled into bed. Though your mind wouldn’t stop racing, you did eventually drift off. 

___

The sound of your alarm going off pulled you from sleep and it took you a moment to remember where you were. Suddenly it hit you that you were getting married today and wave after wave of nerves crashed over you. It was an excited nervous but one that almost left you feeling dizzy all the same. 

Pulling yourself out of bed, you threw on some sweats, just in time for a knock to sound at your door. Moving over to it, you saw that it was your mom and you let her in, hugging her again. 

“Did you get any sleep?” She inquired a warm but nervous smile on her face as well. 

“A little.” You replied. “My mind won’t stop racing though.” You admitted. 

“You’re worried about all of the details…” Your mom mused. “I’m sure Cale’s note already told you this but relax and just enjoy your wedding day baby, Cale has everything under control and he didn’t forget anything. I have never seen a man so detail-oriented regarding his wedding before.” She laughed and it made you giggle as you fell even more in love with him. 

Any further discussion of your nerves was interrupted by the door again and this time it was in fact breakfast. Within minutes of its arrival, your best friends and bridesmaids arrived and wrapped you up in so many hugs, their joy infectious. Catching up with them over breakfast made your heart flutter because it had been too long since you’d seen them. 

“We need to find us men like Cale.” Your college roommate, Rachel, mused a wistful look in her eyes. 

“Good luck with that. He’s kind of one of a kind.” You smiled. “But I mean I can introduce you to his teammates, I think you’d get along well with Andre.” You teased, sending her a wink. 

Breakfast had included mimosas, which was working wonders to take the edge off of your anxiety, causing you to be your usual open and bubbly self. As you finished breakfast your bridesmaids disappeared to grab their own robes to change into as well as to grab their dresses. While they were gone you slipped into your robe as well, your mom already starting to tear up at that sight alone. 

As your bridesmaids returned, dress bags in hand, the hairstylist and makeup artist arrived. They both got to work on your mom, and you turned to your bridesmaids a curious look on your face. 

“So...I know I didn’t pick these dresses. Do I at least get to see them?” You asked. Each of your bridesmaids zipped open the dress bags revealing different style dresses in the same dark forest green color. 

“Cale suggested the color to us and then told us to use our best judgment.” Your childhood best friend, Anne, explained. “We think he was right on point but what do you think?” 

“I think I’m going to have some pretty hot bridesmaids to set up with my hubby’s teammates.” You joked. “I don’t know anything really about this wedding but I’m sure they’ll be perfect.” You added, taking a deep breath to calm the next wave of nerves. 

For the next few hours, you bs’ed with your girls while each, in turn, got their hair and makeup done. At some point, a photographer and a videographer arrived popping in and out of the suite. Before long it was your turn to sit in the chair, and when a mirror was handed to you when they were done, you almost burst into tears at the woman staring back at you, hardly believing that it was yourself. 

“Wow…” You whispered, letting out a shaky breath. 

“Cale isn’t going to know what hit him.” Your best friend from your major, Moni, declared. 

“Yeah...you look smoking hot Y/N.” Rachel agreed. It felt like everything was a blur as you finished eating a quick snack before watching your bridesmaids slip into their dresses. When your mother returned, Cale’s mom was with her, both dressed and ready to go. 

“Oh, sweetheart....you look stunning.” Cale’s mom declared, pulling you into a hug. “He’s gonna lose it. He’s fully admitted he’s sure he’s going to cry.” She laughed. 

“Should we get you dressed?” Your mom inquired and with the photographer and videographer on standby, they helped you into your dress, settling the straps onto your shoulders before zipping you in. It fit like a glove and your friends all gasped, having not seen it before. 

“Y/N…” They murmured, each having tears form in their eyes. 

“You aren’t allowed to cry or I’ll cry.” You chastised, feeling yourself get emotional. This was the day you’d been waiting your entire life for and so many different emotions were swirling through you. Taking a sip of water, you tried to calm your racing heart as you carefully sat on the edge of one of the chairs in the room. Fanning yourself, you saw Laura grab two small boxes, handing them to you with a smile before she took the seat across from you. 

“Cale sent the top one, says it’s your something new and blue. The other is from me and it’s your something borrowed.” Laura explained. Your mom quickly came over with the necklace Cale had given you last Christmas, an eight-sided snowflake so that you would always have a piece of him, or at least his jersey number, with you. 

“Cale suggested this as your something old.” She declared, fastening it around your neck. Opening the box Cale had sent, you couldn’t help but laugh. Inside was a blue and maroon colorado avalanche garter. 

“Oh boy.” You breathed. “Yeah, I guess that works.” Your expression caused everyone else in the room to laugh as you shook your head, working the garter onto your leg. “If this is the only inclusion of the avs besides as guests, I suppose I should be happy.” You teased, dropping your dress back down to hide the garter. Finally, you took the box that Laura had brought and opened it to reveal a diamond tennis bracelet, worn with age. 

“That was my mother’s, she gave it to me when Cale was born, and I plan to give it to you someday.” She expressed. “But I think you should borrow it for today because it just feels right.” Leaning over, you wrapped her in a hug as you thanked her. 

“I hope you know how grateful I am for the man you birthed and raised.” You murmured, trying not to cry. “He is...he is everything I ever could have asked for and I know so much of that is because of you.” 

“Oh honey, you’ve taken the man I raised and made him an even better man. I am so grateful to be able to call you my daughter.” This moment with your mother-in-law was so special and you had to take another sip of water to pull yourself back together. “Now I’m gonna go check on my son because I think it’s time for your dad to come see you. We’ll see you downstairs.” Her words were full of excitement as you hugged her and she squeezed your hands before leaving the room, taking a load full of things belonging to your bridesmaids with her. 

Your grandmother made her way up to the room just before your dad and when she arrived she immediately started crying at how beautiful you look. By the time your dad knocked on the door, you were just trying to keep distracted so you wouldn’t start crying, telling stories about dates with Cale and how you knew he was the one almost right away. You hadn’t expected your dad to cry, but he did get a little emotional as he wrapped you in his arms. With all of these moments captured in photos and videos you knew you would certainly fully cry over them in the future. 

As the clock ticked closer to the ceremony time, you felt more nerves roll over you in waves, slowly becoming overwhelming. Looking at your mom and dad you let out a shaky sob. 

“I...I know Cale doesn’t want to see me before...but I...I need to at least hold his hand for a moment...please?” You requested, now noticing that your hands were shaking. You weren’t getting cold feet, that certainly wasn’t what you were feeling, it was all just so much emotion in such a short amount of time. 

Nodding, your mom reached for her phone and stepped into the hall. After a minute she returned and motioned for you to follow her, your bare feet padding down the hall until you reached an alcove. 

“Cale is on his way up.” She assured you, kissing your head before stepping away to give you some privacy. Nodding, you just focused your breathing until footsteps approached from the hall to your right. 

“Hey, sunshine, what’s up...you’re not getting cold feet on me are you?” The sound of Cale’s voice was music to your ears and you reached a hand out around the corner. 

“No...no cold feet.” You promised. “I just…” You started but paused feeling Cale’s hand lace in yours. “I...I needed this.” 

“Mom says I’m going to lose it when I see you.” Cale breathed. “I’m so excited to finally marry you.” His words in combination with the feeling of his hand around yours, soon had you feeling like yourself again, some of the overwhelming emotions lessening. 

“So I told Rachel I’d set her up with Burky.” You chatted, loving the sound of Cale’s laugh in reaction to your words. 

“I’m sure he’ll have no complaints about that,” Cale replied. “You okay now?” He whispered. “Or do you need a hug because I can just close my eyes.” He offered. 

“I will never turn down a hug from you.” You said smiling. “But I am better now…” You added. 

“Come here then. Quick hug and then scurry along because we’ve got a wedding to get to.” His voice was happy and light as he pulled you around the corner and into his arms, his eyes closed. The hug was quick but settled all of your remaining nerves and when you pulled away you stretched to press a kiss to his rosy cheeks. As you scurried down the hall you noticed the red splotch on his face and called back. 

“Take a rag to your cheek. I love you!” 

Letting yourself back into your room, you noticed that it was basically cleaned out of everything from getting ready. 

“Better?” Your mom asked though it was clearly visible on your face that you were. 

Nodding you moved to slip your heels on, ready to get the show on the road. Now that you had pushed back all of the excess emotions, you were bouncing in excitement and you couldn’t be told fast enough that it was time to head downstairs. When you got there, you were handed a bouquet of red roses and greenery. From the hallway outside the venue, you could hear music playing and you hugged your mom one more time, wiping at her tears before handing her off to Gabe who was escorting her to her seat.

“He’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you Y/N.” Gabe winked. “You look incredibly beautiful.” 

Cale’s mom was being escorted by Matt Calvert and once both mothers had been taken to their seats, it was time for your bridesmaids to make their way down the aisle. Left alone with just your dad you let out a deep breath. 

“Are you ready for this?” He questioned and you immediately nodded your head. 

“I’ve been ready since the moment I met him.” Wrapping your arm around your dad’s, you took one more steadying breath as the music changed. Then the doors opened again and for a split second your mind took in how beautiful the venue was before you turned and were facing a crowd of smiling faces, Cale all the way at the end. Pacing yourself, you walked toward him, his face the only thing you could really focus on. He was crying, just like he’d said he would, and you blinked back tears of your own. When your dad handed you off, you squeezed Cale’s hand, giggling softly when he murmured to the officiant that he needed a moment. 

Once Cale had pulled himself together, you proceeded, his hand now holding yours more firmly as he stared at you with nothing but affection and love. 

“Today we are gathered here to witness and bless the marriage of Y/N and Cale.” You were half-listening and couldn’t help but focus on Cale as he mouthed a ‘wow’  in your direction. 

“Who has the honor to present Y/N to be married?” Your father answered that he and your mother do and hearing his voice you glanced over at him with a reassuring smile. Moni reached over to take your bouquet from you and with two hands free, you held both of Cale’s, smiling up at him. 

“Now close friends and family tell me that this day was only a matter of time from the moment Y/N and Cale bumped into each other on the campus of the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I’m told that right away both secretly expressed that it was the best first date they’d ever been on and that they could see this relationship being one that lasts.” You could remember your first date like it was yesterday and you remembered even then having never felt like you just clicked with someone the way you did with Cale. 

“Speaking with Cale I can see the amount of love and affection he holds for Y/N. I’m sure most of you are in the loop but Cale is the one that planned this entire thing in order to give Y/N the wedding she always dreamed of but was willing to give up to marry him. His teammates tell me the effort included a lot of time on the phone while on the road and even some missed team dinners.” Some chuckles went up in the crowd from the direction of Cale’s teammates and you smiled because you loved that rowdy bunch so much. 

“And though I haven’t gotten the privilege to speak with Y/N...I can see now in the way she looks at him that all of that love and affection is returned. And while I’m sure that there’s more that could be said about the two people standing in front of me I’m pretty sure they’d both like me to just get on with things.” The whole space filled with laughter and you nodded your head like ‘yeah kinda’ as you continued to smile over at Cale. 

“After speaking with Cale, I searched for a reading that seemed fitting of the relationship with Y/N that he described. In the end, I decided on “Blessing for a Marriage” by James Dillet Freeman.” Your officiant paused before launching into the reading. 

“May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another — not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete. The valley does not make the mountain less, but more.

And the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you. May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you want one another, but not out of lack.

May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another. May you succeed in all-important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery that is the awareness of one another’s presence — no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.

May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.”

By the end, the feeling of Cale’s fingers brushing patterns on your palm was all you could focus on. Lost in thought, you just watched him until he started speaking. 

“I love you, Y/N(Full). You are my best friend.” Hearing the sound of his voice, you realized that he was repeating after your officiant one sentence at a time. “Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in the highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.” As he finished, he squeezed your hand and you let out a deep breath. 

Repeating the same vows to Cale you laughed at using his full name ‘Cale Douglas Makar’ and then swallowed down the lump in your throat as you attempted not to cry as you continued. Once you’d shared your vows, your officiant asked for the rings and you watched as Cale’s brother handed them over. 

This time, they started with you and you took Cale’s left hand into yours sliding on his wedding band. 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” You stated confidently. Cale struggled just a bit to slide your ring on and you giggled as he spoke those six life-changing words as well. 

“Well...we’ve made it through the vows, you’ve exchanged rings, so I suppose there’s just one thing left to do.” You officiant declared, causing Cale’s teammates and friends to start hooting and hollering. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Go ahead and kiss your bride.” Your officiant spoke over the cheers and as soon as he finished, Cale’s arms slipped around your waist and he leaned down to kiss you breathless. 

“It is my honor to present to you, Mr. & Mrs. Cale Makar.” Taking your flowers back you walked back down the aisle with Cale, leaning against his chest as he kissed you once you were back in the hall. 

“So this is what I could have seen earlier if I agreed to a first look huh?” He inquired, spinning you around so that he could take in all angles of the dress. 

“Mmhmm.” You agreed, your arm wrapped around his as you smiled up at him contentedly. “But I’m kind of glad you didn’t.” You admitted. 

“Me too.” He clarified. “But you’re so gorgeous.” He murmured, stealing one more kiss. 

While your guests hit the cocktail hour, you, Cale, your immediate families and the wedding party headed to have photos taken. Your jaw ached from smiling, but every time Cale looked at you, you couldn’t help but feel your smile grow. You were his wife. You were going to get to spend the rest of your life with him. 

Thankfully, as your stomach started to growl, the photographer announced that you were done with photos. You had to make a quick detour with Cale to sign the marriage certificate but after that, you returned to the same ballroom following your bridesmaids and groomsmen inside as once again all of your friends and family went nuts. You settled into your personal table with Cale and immediately reached for the glass of water, taking a long sip. As you waited for food to be brought out, you leaned into your husband’s side, your hand resting on his knee. 

“So how did I do?” He whispered in your ear and for the first time you took a true look around the venue. There was a Christmas tree on either end of the room in front of the large windows and every balcony was strung with lit greenery. The tables were draped with white, red, or green cloth and the centerpieces were either red roses or poinsettias. It was absolutely beautiful and screamed Christmas. 

“I’d say this is probably the equivalent of scoring a hattrick.” You replied, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Cale kissed your head in return and the two of you sat watching as your friends and family mingled as food started to come out of the kitchens. Sipping at your wine, you devoured the delicious food quickly, more hungry than you had realized. When your plate was empty you watched as Cale picked his up and used his fork to transfer his mashed potatoes to your plate. 

“I had a heavy breakfast and lunch.” He insisted between bites. “Go ahead I know you’re still hungry.” Nodding, you quickly finished off the additional food your husband had provided you before snuggling back into his side to digest. Now that they had noticed you were finished eating, Cale’s teammates, particularly Gabe and EJ, got obnoxious with the glass taps trying to get you to kiss. You complied the first half dozen times but then just rolled your eyes and glared, enjoying just being tucked into your husband’s side. 

After Cale’s brother gave a speech, your three bridesmaids tag-teamed one, and soon it was time for the first dance. Cale took your hand and led you onto the dance floor as Sam Smith’s version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas began to play. 

“Now you’re just outdoing yourself.” You whispered pecking Cale’s lips as he swayed you back and forth. This...this was everything you had ever dreamed of right here. “And I don’t think I’ve mentioned it but you look very very sexy today.” Almost immediately, Cale’s cheeks took on a deep flush and you giggled running your hands down his chest. “I love how easily I affect you.” You grinned, squealing softly as he dipped you as the song came to a close. 

“You’re a brat.” He mumbled, kissing you again gently before handing you off to your father for the father-daughter dance. Wrapped in your daddy’s arms he asked about you being happy and you couldn’t help it when your smile grew even wider. 

“I’m so so happy.” You assured him. “You know Cale has always been good to me, good for me.” He nodded, agreeing that he knew that but wanting to make sure you knew that you were always his little girl. As you turned slightly, you saw Gabe dancing with Linnea by their table and immediately your brain dashed to the idea of Cale dancing with your daughter someday. You were both young and not ready for kids just yet but sometime in the semi-distant future, you were certain he’d be an amazing dad. Kissing your dad’s cheek as the song ended, you watched Cale drag his mom onto the floor for their dance. While he danced, you stopped to hug your mom before making your way over to Gabe, Mel, and Linnea.  

Immediately Linnea reached for you and though Mel tried to discourage her, you eagerly reached for the toddler. 

“She’s fine Mel.” You insisted. “Thanks for sticking around in town to be here today.” You were sure this was only the first of many times that that phrase would leave your mouth in the next few hours. 

“Like we would have missed it. Cale has been talking about it non-stop for months. We all wanted to see what he was able to pull off.” Gabe smirked. 

“Eh, just his bride’s dream wedding..no big deal.” You declared grinning. 

“Plus now we can all chirp him for months for crying when he saw you,” Gabe added and immediately Mel smacked his head as the two of you in unison responded. 

“No, you will not, Gabriel Landeskog.” Gabe threw his hands up in defense and chuckled softly. The DJ announced that this next dance would start with just the wedding party, then family could join in and by the end everyone else and you bounced Linnea on your hip, looking to where Cale was already working to get Z’s daughter to dance with him. 

“I’m stealing your daughter, you can have her back at the end of this song.” You announced, cooing at Linnea who was enamored with you. Making your way onto the dance floor, you rocked Linnea around, making her laugh. Cale was doing the same with Sophie and when the two of you met up in the middle of the floor you smiled at each other, your shared look communicating the same thing. Someday.

The next few hours were a blur of mingling and dancing, though you certainly did more of the latter while Cale did the former. There were moments that stood out in your head though. First, you remembered how hard you laughed when you introduced Rachel to Andre and saw the expression on his face. You’d threatened him not to break her heart and while you weren’t certain it would be a long term thing, it certainly seemed like they would both at least have a good night tonight. 

Second, you remembered cutting the cake and the rush of heat that ran through you as you licked the icing off of Cale’s fingers as he fed you. You’d both been nice, neither smashing it into the other’s face like Cale’s teammates had been egging you to do all night. Then he’d held you as you shared a full piece making your way from table to table to talk to people that you hadn’t yet. You weren’t so worried about your immediate families, your grandma mentioning that Cale’s family had invited everyone to stay through Christmas to do one big family thing. But teammates, friends, you wanted to make sure you stopped and told each of them how much you appreciated them being here given that it was so close to the holiday. 

Finally, you remembered being pulled onto the dance floor by Matt Calvert. Not only had he and Courtney opened up their home to Cale, but they had also opened it to you, allowing you to spend time with him during a period where everything was changing so quickly that your relationship very easily could have cracked. In addition to that, Courtney had been a lifeline in helping you navigate your way through the life of a better half. 

“You know...when Cale first mentioned you, I had my reservations,” Matt admitted. “But then I met you and I immediately knew it wouldn’t be long before we were standing here. The two of you complement each other so well. I truly don’t think he could have found a better match.” Hugging him, you expressed silently how much those words meant to you. As you continued to dance, you watched Cale with Courtney, his cheeks flushed from alcohol and the day as a whole. To their right, Moni was dancing with Matt Nieto and you giggled to yourself as your eyes went wide. Over by the tables, Josty, who had caught the garter, was chatting up Anne, who had caught your bouquet, making her laugh probably by saying something completely ridiculous because he’d had quite a few drinks today. And though deep down you already knew it, today had proven one thing. You belonged in Cale’s world just as much as he belonged in yours. The two of you just blended seamlessly and it was probably one of the most important reasons as to why it just worked. 

Like your feet had tired hours ago, eventually, the rest of you started to tire as well and you tucked yourself into Cale’s side, leaning against him. 

“Should we make our rounds and say goodnight?” Cale whispered softly in your ear and when you nodded, he started to guide you around the room. Soon, you had said goodnight to pretty much everyone who was left and then Cale grabbed your shoes, walking you up to your suite. 

Popping the door open, Cale lifted you bridal style and carried you over the doorstep, setting you down gently on the bed. 

“Today was perfect, but I’m exhausted.” You breathed, already feeling like you just wanted to melt into the mattress. As much as you wanted to consummate your marriage you just weren’t sure you had the energy. Cale paced around the room for a few minutes and when you finally pulled yourself to sit up, you saw that he had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and was walking toward you with a makeup wipe in his hand. 

“Let’s just get you ready for bed.” He proclaimed, gently wiping as much of the makeup off of you as he could so that washing your face would be easier. “We have all the time in the world.” He continued. “So let’s just get some sleep and then maybe we can take advantage of that jacuzzi in the morning since checkout isn’t until noon.” 

“I like the sound of that.” You murmured, sitting still as Cale worked to take down your hair so that you could actually sleep on it. When all of that was done he pulled you to your feet, helped you out of your dress, and then into one of his t-shirts. Pulling him close you kissed him, your lips melding together lazily. “I love you. Thanks for everything today.” Your words were muffled against his lips but Cale groaned softly at them all the same. 

“You deserve all of it. I can’t believe you’re my wife.” There was a glint in his eyes that you loved so much and you wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“Believe it buddy...because I fully expect you to make love to me after we get some sleep.” 

“Tomorrow...for the rest of our lives...whatever you want is all yours.” He agreed. 

“How about we start with some cuddles and go from there?” Tucked into Cale’s arms, you felt your body settle and start drifting off to sleep. 

Though you’d received a lot of Christmas presents in life, you were 100% sure that being married to Cale was forever going to be the best Christmas gift you could have ever received. 

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- Floral Shoppe

Haha why do y’all let me do this.

It’s been almost a decade since Macintosh Plus (aka Vektroid, aka Ramona Xavier) popularised and codified vapourwave as a genre with its first actually popular release in Floral Shoppe. Since then this sub-sub-genre has developed its own subgenres and become its own flourishing marvel of internet music culture. But Floral Shoppe itself is worth examining- not to see where it all began (I haven’t even listened to Chuck Person’s Eccojams or Far Side Virtual yet), but where most people got into the genre. The lifting off point, as it were.

So grab your Arizona ice tea (don’t, it’s fucking awful) and lets dive in.

The first track, ブート(Boot), opens with a buttery smooth cymbal and saxophone line, obviously slowed down, but evoking a level of chill few songs manage to get to for their whole duration, in a total of approximately a minute. It’s a genuinely masterful piece of music. As the vocals come in, you hear them get twisted and chopped, distorted and looped, almost jolting you out of that trance, until it’s clear that the lyrics aren’t lyrics but another instrument, you get used to the nonsense, and you’re back in the zone. The looping with some of the instrumentation makes parts of it feel almost clockwork-like, in a very satisfying manner- especially as the majority of it gets muffled and you realise that opening bass/sax line has been running through the entire time. While the next track on this album tends to get most of the attention, I genuinely think Boot deserves just as much praise.

リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing) is another one of those tracks where it’s just like, what could I possibly say about this that hasn’t been said. If you’re reading this, there’s basically no way you haven’t heard this song, so you know what I’m on about. It’s the quintessential vapourwave track, even if it’s showing its age a bit. It’s just so perfect. When I decided to write about Floral Shoppe, I didn’t really want to spend too much time here- me saying “hey I like this song everyone knows” isn’t the most interesting thing on the planet, I guess. I will say, it’s one of the few vapourwave songs you can actually sing along to, and that’s fun as heck.

Also, the lyric is “it’s all in your hands”, not “it’s all in your head”. To be fair, though, the distortion doesn’t help.

The album’s next track is 花の専門店 (Floral Shoppe, hey I didn’t know this album had a title song), a track that heavily relies on this really panned synth (you can’t even hear that on the left ear) and a lot of looping the same bit over and over again. Honestly, the first minute of this song gets a little grating, but it really picks up after that. It’s really fun and jazzy for a solid minute there, a lovely instrumental you can just groove to in your head. The fade out on this piece lasts wayyy too long for my liking, though- a full half minute of outro feels a little indulgent for this one.

Track four, ライブラリ (Library) is lowkey one of my favourites on the album- The slowed vocals work really well, and the instrumentation feels extremely deliberate and methodical. I think my biggest complaint with this song is just that it’s too short, considering Lisa Frank 420 is literally triple it’s length. But I suppose part of this project is how variable the track lengths are- it seems Vektroid was keen to work with these until she was out of ideas, and no longer, and I can’t help but respect that.

地理 (Geography) sounds substantially darker than the previous tracks, with incredibly low drones and a main line that… I mean I dunno how low it is but that shit is definitely in a minor key, you know. It’s also the sparsest track so far, with much more restraint in layering than anything else I can think of on the album. The atmosphere of this is heavy- I don’t know why, but it reminds me of that really creepy loading screen on the fuckin Magic School Bus goes inside the body Edutainment game. That’s probably a bit of a weird connection, but if you played that shit, you know how fucking eerie it’s soundtrack was, and that’s a bit of the vibe I’m getting from this track.

Our next track is a direct nod to Floral Shoppe’s predecessors in ECCOと悪寒ダイビング (Chill diving with ECCO), a reference to the aforementioned Chuck Person’s Eccojams Vol. 1 (itself a reference to the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive game Ecco the Dolphin), and Chill is absolutely right. While many vapour/synthwave pieces are more about entering an aesthetic or a vibe than actually listening to the music, as far as Floral Shoppe goes, that’s most true with this track. It’s also the third longest track here (behind Lisa Frank 420 and the next song), and while it doesn’t develop as much as one would hope based on that (or much at all), spending so long vibing out in a track like this is completely appropriate.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t care too much for the next track, 数学 (Mathematics). It might just be because it comes on the heels of ECCO, but the meandering in this doesn’t hit the same chord as that does. While I enjoy the saxophone on this song, all the shit going on in the background just kinda gets my anxiety going eventually. And by eventually, I mean about halfway through this near 7-minute monster. You’ve got these very chill elements that slowly get drowned out by the steadily rising and accelerating chaotic parts of the instrumentation that just take over eventually, and while it does chill back down again, that’s still a long time focussed on the worst parts of the song. This also really didn’t need to be as long as it is, considering the second half of the track is just, like, the same thing again…

We’re at track 8, and at this point I started looking at the Wikipedia page for the name translation and realising that I have no idea which song this is supposed to be. Like, the track lengths on the bandcamp suggest that this is the 2011 release and therefore this is 待機 (Standby), but it has the name of track 8 from the 2017 release, 外ギン Aviation (Foreign Banks Aviation)? This is confusing as fuck, but since this is the only track here with that issue, I’m assuming it’s actually Standby and someone fucked up somewhere. Oh right, the song itself. Well it’s fucking short, barely past a minute long, and doesn’t have too much going on. I’d call it short but sweet, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. Jazzy, loungy, kinda chill. I dunno.

て(Te) feels almost out of place on this album. I mean, the vibe is similar, but the birdsongs really come out of left field. This sounds like the track you’d hear in a video game after you’re finally out of a cave you spent hours in. If the build in this weren’t so intense, I think it’d fit right in on the Minecraft OST. That’s a compliment, for what it’s worth. It’s also worth noting this light at the end of the tunnel bit was absolutely intentional, because this used to be the final track of the album. However, there’s two more here, added in a 2012 reissue (originally they were unnamed bonus tracks), so we might as well check them out.

…under no circumstances should you check out track 10, 月 (Moon). I don’t know what vocal sample that is, but it is loud, and grating, and obnoxious, and the instrumentation is not doing enough to carry the repetition through. Holy shit, this is 6 minutes long. I’m going to be honest, I skimmed through this one, and it never changes what it’s doing. This is… a bold play, I’ll give her that, but it absolutely does not pay off. This has gotta be one of the worst songs I’ve heard in a very long time. What the fuck, Ramona?

Finally, 海底 (Seabed). This… is just like Moon, in that it’s a fucked up vocal sample that is looped over and over with little changing instrumental. The key difference is this one is less bad- the vocals aren’t as jilting, the instrumentation is chiller, and it is mercifully only 2 and a bit minutes. It’s far from good, but it’s not as immediately awful. Okay, it is pretty bad. These should probably have stayed as extras- and seeing as they apparently weren’t on the physical versions of the album (in fact a bunch of these songs changed for that), Vektroid appears to agree.

So that’s Floral Shoppe, and it’s really one of those albums that kinda drags on at the end. Frontloaded with the good shit, I suppose. Moon and Seabed aside, it’s not like anything is completely awful, but after 25 or so minutes you’ve kinda gotten the point. With that said, the album is as influential as it is for good reason- the first couple tracks are phenomenal, and once you’re drawn in by those, you’re probably going to appreciate the rest of it at least a little.

Modern vapourwave basically sounds nothing like Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing, or Floral Shoppe at all- the genre has moved past plunderphonics almost entirely at this point, and the aesthetic has shifted to a more consistent, less memeable tone. Even Macintosh Plus is going new directions- the single released in December 2019 as a teaser for Vektroid’s next project under the name sounds nothing like this album, though it is completely fucking awesome (and completely fucking batshit). While it seems like the genre itself has moved past Floral Shoppe, though, it’s still the touchstone the majority of people, especially those unfamiliar with the genre, recognize as the herald of Vapourwave. I’m pretty sure this was the first album to do the whole pink aesthetic, marble bust, computer graphics style, and clearly that’s the style everyone thinks of when they make bad vapourwave art. That’s the aesthetic this album inspired. Long may it reign.

(Ok seriously though guys go listen to VAPERROR or George Clanton or something)

[sleepysnk]

hey guys! i wrote this little fic for one of my friends. this is for @jaegerbomb20 ! i decided to make her a little self-insert fic! this will not be a 'x reader' story! i love you sofia ♡! i hope you enjoy :)

Eren x Sofia Modern AU: Sneaking Out

Warnings: None

The sound of vibrations against the table woke Sofia up out of a deep sleep. She felt groggy as she grabbed her phone off the nightstand, the time read 1:37 A.M.

She furrowed her brows and squinted her eyes as the bright light shined over her face. She noticed she had a missed call from Eren, why the hell was he calling at 1 A.M.? Usually the only time he'd call this late was help for homework, or to just rant. Eren and Sofia had been close friends for a very long time, the two met in middle school and have been inseparable since.

Sofia ran a hand through her blonde hair and decided to call him back. "Hey" she said as Eren answered the phone.

"Oh shit, you sound tired. Were you sleeping? Did I wake you?" he asked.

She sighed. "Maybe... but what's up? Do you need homework or something?" she asked and yawned.

Eren went silent for a second. "Actually... no I wasn't looking for homework. This sounds bad to ask so nevermind" he said.

She furrowed her brows, curious as to what he wanted. "Eren.. nothing is ever bad to ask. What is it?" she asked.

He sighed. "I was gonna ask if you want to hangout right now, it's a Saturday, so I figured why not. You don't have to of course" he said.

Sofia thought for a moment, hanging out sounded fun, but she wasn't sure what her parents would say. She'd have to sneak out and that was something that would be really risky. What if her brother caught her?

"Sofia?" Eren asked and broke her out of her thoughts.

"S-Sorry, um... I don't know Eren. If my parents catch me sneaking out they'll be pissed, and it's really risky" she replied.

He sighed with disappointment. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble" he said.

She felt kind of bad, then she thought about it more. If she was quick and back on time, her parents wouldn't notice she was gone.

"Actually... Eren, how long would we be out?" she asked.

"Uh.. however long you wanna be out? I have to be back before 5, because my dad wakes up for work" he replied.

She sat up in bed. "Let's do it, you can bring me home at 3 or 4" she said and stood up.

He seemed a bit surprised. "W-Wait really!? Sofia you don't have to" he said.

She laughed a bit. "Come on, let's just do it. I want to anyway, it'd be kind of cool to sneak out with you" she said and smiled.

Eren felt a blush spread on his cheeks. "Alright.. I'll get on my way then. See you in a few" he said.

She grabbed some clothes. "Alright" she said and hung up the phone.

She smiled to herself as she threw on some leggings and a sweater, she brushed her hair, and threw on some perfume. Sofia couldn't lie and not say she didn't find Eren attractive, she watched as he grew up and he grew into one fine man.

Her phone vibrated, she grabbed it and saw that Eren messaged her saying he was on the way. She had to figure out how to get out of the house as quiet as possible, if she was to get caught, her parents would be pissed.

She opened the door quietly. The silence filling the house was making it hard for her to be fully silent, she closed her bedroom door slowly, and began to tip toe her way towards the stairs. Sofia could hear her heart racing in her ears. She slowly crept down the steps of the stairs, and went to grab her shoes that were at the end of the staircase near the door.

Her phone vibrated again, she pulled it out of her sweater and saw the message from Eren that he was outside.

Sofia put on her shoes on, and unlocked the door. She slowly opened the front door, and looked back to make sure that nobody was behind her. She stepped outside and felt the chilly air hit her skin. She closed the door slowly and began to make her way to Eren's car.

He unlocked it and looked at her as she got in. "Hey.. are you good?" Eren asked and nodded.

She sighed. "Yeah! It was just so hard to get out quietly. Let's pray they don't notice I left" she replied and laughed a bit.

Eren chuckled. "Yeah it took me a bit to get outside, starting your car in silence was really scary" he said and began to reverse out of her driveway.

Sofia laughed and put her seatbelt on. "So... where do you wanna go?" she asked.

He shrugged and began to drive away from her house. "Honestly, we can go anywhere. Just say the word and we'll go" he replied and gave her a smile.

That smile.

Sofia always found Eren's smile very attractive, it was probably her favorite thing about him. Besides his teal eyes or his brunette hair that had grown past his neck.

"Got any tunes?" Sofia asked and looked at him.

He looked at her. "No, you can play something if you want. I doubt our music taste is the same" he replied and tossed his phone to her.

She looked over at him. "Uh.." she said.

Eren's brows furrowed as he looked at her. "Oh my bad, my password is 1567" he said and laughed a bit.

She giggled and unlocked his phone, she noticed how Eren kept his phone kind of... organized? Last time she went through his phone when he was a freshman, it was messy and he had so much weird clutter on it. She practically cringed when she opened it for the first time all those years ago.

She looked through and clicked on his spotify. "My playlist should be there, find something you like" he said and smiled.

Sofia went through Eren's playlist and surprisingly their playlists were similar, Eren liked a lot of the same music she did.

"You like The Neighborhood?" she asked and looked over at him.

Eren chuckled. "Yeah.. I kinda got into them last summer. I like their style" he replied and rubbed the back of his neck.

She nodded and put on Cry Baby, the song played in the car as Eren got onto the highway. Eren reached over and turned up the volume.

"I think I talk too much... I need to listen baby" Sofia sang.

Eren rolled down the windows and the cool air blew into the car. "I need to listen.." Eren sang.

The song played in the car as the two drove on the highway, the lights that illuminated the street shined inside Eren's car as he sped through the highway. Sofia nodded her head to the song as he continued driving.

Eren looked at her with a giant smile. "You know... this actually isn't that bad" he said.

She nodded. "Yeah it isn't..." she replied and looked out the window.

Eren felt a blush spread across his cheeks looking at her hair flow in the wind, she always looked beautiful to him. Sofia always did things that made Eren feel fuzzy and warm, he always found himself smiling at her messages, or feeling his heart race when she approached him in school.

It was no lie that Eren had feelings for her.

"Hey... is that the moon?" Sofia asked and looked out the window at the bright light.

Eren looked up through the dashboard. "Yeah.. it is. I haven't seen the moon that big in forever" he replied and laughed a bit.

Sofia rolled up her window and rubbed her arms. "It's so cold" she said and laughed a bit as she turned down the music.

Eren rolled up his own window feeling the chill dance across his skin. "Yeah it is.. my bad for keeping the windows open" he said and looked at her with an apologetic smile.

She smiled. "Don't worry, it's fine. Where do you wanna go?" she asked and looked over at him.

He sighed and looked at the time, the clock in his car read 2:21 A.M. they only had an hour or two left to hangout.

"Let's just head to this clearing... it isn't very far" he replied and got towards the exit of the highway.

Sofia looked at her phone making sure nobody messaged her, she assumed for the time being that nobody noticed she left. Some relief came through her.

"Is this your first time sneaking out?" Sofia asked and looked at Eren.

He sighed. "Actually.. no. I snuck out once with Reiner to get some weed, I almost got caught, but I lied to my mom and said that he was dropping off something" he replied and laughed a bit.

She laughed a bit. "Weed huh? I kinda noticed the smell in the car" she said and crossed her legs on the seat.

Eren rolled his eyes playfully. "It's that obvious? I just got car fresheners, I probably have to get stronger ones then" he said.

Eren drove his car to this clearing with a hill. The clearing showed a view of the highway, and the city lights that were in the distance. He turned off the car and sat there staring at Sofia for a second.

"Do you wanna get out?" he asked and nodded.

She unbuckled her seatbelt. "Sure" she replied and opened the door.

Eren got out of the car and sat down on the hood of his car. Sofia stood by the side of his car sort of awkwardly watching him, this made a chuckle come from his throat.

"You can sit next to me, don't worry" he said and patted the spot next to him.

She laughed feeling her heart race. "Okay" she replied and sat next to him.

Eren lied down and stared at the stars shining above them, the moon shined over the landscape making things a bit more visible. The city lights made things even better.

"So um... have you ever been here before?" Eren asked and looked at her.

Sofia looked at him. "No I haven't, I never knew this existed" she said and looked around the sky.

He nodded and looked up at the sky, the way she looked in the moonlight made his heart swell. Eren noticed the way her eyes were sparkling in the light.

"I-It's kind of cold" she said and shivered a bit.

He looked at her and sat up. "Come here.." he said and opened his arms for her. Something he's never done before.

Sofia felt a blush spread onto her cheeks. "A-Are you sure?" she asked.

He chuckled. "Yes... only if you want to though" he said and smiled a bit.

Sofia leaned into his touch and felt his arms go around her waist pulling her closer, she felt the heat radiating from his body. It made her shivers disappear and warmth enveloped her, she lied her head onto his chest, feeling his heart beat by her ear. She never thought Eren would ever be like this with her

"You're really warm" she said and laughed a bit.

Eren put his chin onto her head. "Yeah... I guess I am" he replied and looked at the city lights in the distance.

Sofia looked up into his teal eyes. "Eren..." she said.

He took her hands in his. "Can I tell you something?" he asked and swallowed nervously.

She furrowed her brows. "Yeah of course, you can tell me anything" she replied and blushed a bit.

"Sofia... I-I... I like you okay.. like a lot. I've liked you for such a long time, and I just.. I just can't resist anymore. With graduation coming soon I don't want to let the moment slip away" Eren said and looked at her. "You're just so pretty you know? Like... you blow me away whenever I see you, and I just want you to be my girlfriend" he added.

Sofia looked at Eren with wide eyes, she never really knew Eren felt that way. Yeah they had been friends for a long time, but she always assumed it would remain as a friendship.

"Eren... I like you too" she said and smiled a bit.

He seemed a bit surprised at her answer. "What? You do? Sofia... you don't have to. Trust me, no force" he replied.

She laughed a bit and looked down. "No Eren I always have... you've always treated me differently compared to other guys. I couldn't ask for someone other than you" she said.

Eren felt a smile grow onto his face. "Will you be my girlfriend then?" he asked.

She nodded. "Of course I will" she replied and looked at him.

Eren felt his heart swell as he cupped her cheek and leaned in for a kiss. Sofia smiled and put her arms around his neck. The kiss was passionate and made her feel weak.

Eren felt his phone vibrate, he broke the kiss and looked at his phone. His eyes went wide.

"Something wrong?" Sofia asked and furrowed her brows.

He showed her the time. "It's 3:15... we gotta get back" he replied and hopped off the car.

Sofia rushed into his car and laughed a bit. "If you get grounded" she said and started laughing.

Eren rolled his eyes and leaned in for another kiss. "You're lucky you're beautiful" he said and put on his seatbelt.

The night was spent with Eren rushing to get Sofia back home in time. When she eventually did get home she was able to get inside without anyone noticing, Eren sent her a text telling her to sleep well which made her smile.

"Ugh Eren.." she said and smiled as she placed her phone into the charger turning over to go to sleep.

The night was memorable for the two.

[takadanobaba]

Jin Norizuki’s Birthday PriZoom 7/18/2021

Oh the things I do for Jin Norizuki

That was SUCH an experience. I had a lot of fun!! 

Main takeaway is that I am now acutely aware of when to YO in a song

(Okay so this is my first time attending a prizoom (or even any kinpri screening outside of Luna’s sss rabbit sessions!) so this is all entirely new to me and I can’t really compare it to much, but I figured that it’d be good to write up a report of sorts to fill in for Luna in a way!)

The prizooms are also accessible to everyone and don’t require any Japanese info confirmation!! If you’re interested in attending please go and support kinpri!!!

(Note: I think about Jin wayyyy too much and interpret them as nonbinary, so I use they/them pronouns for Jin. It’s just automatic for me at this point and feels weird otherwise haha so I’ll be doing that in this)

Jin is my all time favorite character and love of my life who I’m extremely delusional about so when a prizoom was announced for their birthday I went INSANE because I didn’t expect Jin’s birthday to be acknowledged AT ALL given how they’re usually excluded/treated like a side character (+ kinpri’s been putting out little to no content lately anyways....haha....). I was waiting in anticipation ever since it was announced (around June 6th) and even put in a time-off request for my work the day of its announcement just so I could attend!!!! ........ You can imagine my frustration at kinpri waiting until the very last minute to put out details about Jin’s prizoom ^^;

💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 

Also!! I’m a complete ~ foreigner ~ and managed to get tickets perfectly fine with my American credit card (and putting in some very obviously Not-An-Actual-Resident-Of-Japan address info...)! So if anyone’s curious about attending a prizoom but worried about region-locking, it’s possible! Very possible! If you’re interested in it, please go! You don’t need to have a Japanese phone number/credit card/address/etc. to purchase PriZoom tickets on RakutenTicket! It’s such an experience! If you need any help buying tickets then I’d be more than happy to assist!! Please support the PriZoom screenings and help increase the demand for more kinpri content!!!!!!!!!!!! I will personally become a living prizoom advertisement

(Also if any kinpri staff find this: I’m sorry for not respecting rules this time but I just wanted to provide a detailed account of the prizoom event and encourage participation for other foreign fans! I won’t do this again!!!)

💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 

I only attended the first and third showings (consisting of the first movie and Over the Sunshine!) because I wanted to see the new/not currently archived content (the second/pride the hero showing’s bonus was just Jin’s birthday video by Joji which I already revisit little too much ahaha). I also went to the chat-only rooms because I wasn’t very confident that I wouldn’t be awkward with my nonexistent cheering experience and intent to just observe what its like (despite knowing that the cheering rooms are more fun based on what Luna said haha). That, and I was planning on using the EXTREMELY OBNOXIOUS soundboard of ABSOLUTE CHAOS for everything since I have issues with voice dysphoria and figured it’d be good to stick to the room with that normalized as the one and only cheering method so participating would be a little less annoying to others, since we’d all have the same idea ^^;

I’m more active on twitter and follow/am mutuals with pretty much anybody who likes Jin enough to post about them, so it was cool seeing almost everyone there! At least half of them tweeted about this being their first prizoom haha. Jin’s birthday was also promoted as a good introduction to prizooms since the first showing was set at a price point of 718 yen instead of the usual 1,760 yen? So, lots of first timers attending! I guess most people had the same thought process as me about the whole insecure-about-not-being-used-to-proper-cheering/using-their-mic thing? Because most of my twitter following ended up in the chat-only rooms with me! Fun!

Also interesting how most people chose the male voice option for the cheering soundboard feature since there’s actually only 2 men who love Jin like that (I’m included in that number!!) in the Jin-obsessed twitter circle. I guess it was because it sounds kinda Joji-ish? and therefore fitting for an event dedicated to Jin! What with them being meant for each other and all.... Plus being Joji is just a fun way to play off having issues about using your own voice (I... project onto Joji a lot.)

👆 👆 👆

Okay I actually typed up all of the above during the second showing (since I wasn’t occupied attending that one) and everyone had the same train of thought and was definitely being Joji. You know that one “song” in Over the Sunshine- Glorious Schwarz- consisting of Joji just going wild infodumping for 3.5 minutes? Yeah EVERYONE who selected the male voice option was spamming 「おれもー！」/ “ME TOO!!!” during that (including me!). So it was like:

“I weighed 4646 grams at birth! ☆” 

“MMMMEMEEMEMMT MEE ME MEEE EMME ME   ME TOO M M ME TOO”

SO OBNOXIOUS. I LOVE IT. EVERYONE SHARING THE SAME BRAINCELL. THE JOJI BRAINCELL.

💙

The highlight of the prizoom  (in my opinion) was when some guy repeatedly hit よっ！/ YO! to the music in the first movie, which then led to everyone having a collective ~ Realization ~ 

After that happened, everybody joined in and started YO!-ing along in the other lives. Beautiful.

(Blurred recording of Dramatic Love and Showcase Night just so YO!u can see what I mean.)

(I only did those two to test screen recording after failing to archive the first Jin bonus while using the soundboard feature in the first showing, initially I didn’t intend to record anything but the bonuses and will not be doing that anymore. If you attend, don’t be like me or worse!!!! Please!! I’ll delete these if needed/after a few weeks. Also just wanted to mention that Koi no Royal Straight Flush is up there in Kinpri’s Most YO!-able songs)

I love this soundboard feature. Sounds like hell. Prizooms are truely a new form of art because of it. Amazing how cheering screenings have evolved over a pandemic. Music feels empty to me without the YO!s now. After this I ended up listening to the entire kinpri discography so I could determine the YO!ability of each song. Not sure if every prizoom is like that? But I really want to go to more showings just for the community experience! I’m morbidly curious as to how many people would try to YO! to Platonic Sword. I considered going to Rei’s because they’re showing Shiny Rose Stars, but I probably won’t though since money and sleep are things (They really should make tickets no more than 1,000 yen.... they’re zoom meetings with audio problems....THE AUDIO ISSUES ARE FUN THOUGH! YOU CAN SPAM “GANBATTE” WITH EVERYONE!!) Plus while I do like every kinpri character, none of the street boys are really my favorites and going to every showing regardless of character would be a lot. I assumed that I was only going to try attending Joji’s until they announced that they were gonna do something for Jin!! So if you want to see what it’s like PLEASE get tickets and experience it for yourself!! It’s so much more fun participating !!!! Relying on 1-2 people to post event summaries isn’t exactly consistent coverage of every prizoom either!

\ よっ！/      \ よっ！/      \ よっ！/

So much of this is a community experience that you just have to see for yourself! It’s really cool seeing people go all out for their favorites and just going wild. Notable participants include:

- Two separate people just working out the entire time (one of them doing “Prism Exercise” meaning very high effort full-body cheering and dancing? It was really impressive seeing them go all-out for such a long time!)

- Two (2!) Ai cosplayers!!! One attending the prizoom with a Jin cosplayer!!

- The lady who cosplayed Jin in their cute green pre-retirement prism star outfit WITH A HUGE JIN PUPPET IN THE SAME STYLE AS THE SHUFFLE PUPPETS IN THE STAGEPLAY!!!

- That one person who just had a Minato fish head on the entire time (?!)

- A Victoria cosplayer who showed off a really nice!! drawing of Jin they did during the participant showcase at the end of the screenings

- The person with a REALLY CUTE!!!!! homemade Jin plushie!!

- Two people who attended with 3D/vtuber style models of the Go Go Glorious! (YMT29 subunit) members: Noel Tokyo and Mikado Shibuya (who also had a model of Ai!)

- A really cute Joji vtuber model!

💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙

The bonuses were Jin’s birthday video from 2016 and a birthday message of sorts from Jin!

I actually didn’t manage to properly archive the first one as intended because things went horribly wrong so I ended up with nothing but just a terrible (said affectionately) little recording of the soundboard I linked earlier. But whatever I shouldn’t be doing that anyways. Hopefully kinpri includes that and the other prizoom bonuses in something later.... the thought of any content being stuck as lost media terrifies me. I don’t have a good enough memory or a high enough Japanese proficiency level to type it out but it wasn’t particularly analyzable or anything (telling that to myself to make me feel better about losing it). Just the usual Jin being dramatic and going on an evil monologue. Jin being evil ASMR. I lovingly burned another one of Jin’s evil laughs into my mind too so there’s that.

For the 3rd showing bonus however I did not fail though it’s arguably the less interesting bonus of the two since it’s unvoiced. I really love Jin’s voice. Big sexy. Actual dialogue is pretty similar to each other from what I’ve gathered (ending with one of Jin’s cute little アーーーッハッハッハッ！！！！！’s (the text effect for the unvoiced bonus was an appreciated detail!). 

(I’m not very confident in my ability to provide a good translation so I’ll just not embarrass myself)

“ AAAaAAaHAHAAHAAa ~ ! ! ! ! ! ! ! “

💙

Yes Jin I’ll support you in the future-!!! ヾ(>▽ <、 )

I’ll never not be obsessed but it’d still be nice to have more substantial content to gush about and do that with.... Kinpri come back and release an anime continuation.... give me the Jin plot development....kinpri come back my happiness is a little too reliant on you

After the showings you get an email asking for feedback which is cool! I’ve been waiting to complain about how 法月 is written as Noriduki instead of Norizuki for the longest time but I never had a chance until now haha. Makes it so painful for me to buy Jin merch. Also begged for an anime continuation. I wonder how much they take into account feedback? I guess I’ll see when/if they start writing Jin’s name how it’s supposed to be.

ANYWAYS

IF YOU WANT TO GO TO A PRIZOOM, DO IT!

Prism shows really are best experienced with a community!!! If you like kinpri it’s a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to experience what a cheering screening is like with the Japanese fanbase from the comfort of your very own home which is most likely nowhere near Japan!! Everyone should experience prism shows!!!! I have no regrets and I’m still so hyped from the prism sparkle!!!

ANYBODY CAN ATTEND AND BUY TICKETS EVEN WITHOUT JAPANESE INFORMATION!!!

 \\   GLORIOUS SCHWARZ!   //

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.