#it just hit me idk if it’s legible

[redrobin-detective]

It’s 5:25 I’m barely awake but I saw a post talking about how Jack and Vlad are obsessed with each other. We know the reasoning on Vlads part but why Jack? I think it’s two fold: lack of adult friends and the Guilt™️

We see the Fentons are kind of a joke at best to the town and outright despised at worst. Jack and Maddie have each other but we never really see any other significant adult interactions for them. I know Danny and con are the series focus but grownups crave companionship too. When Vlad starts to slip back into his life I bet Jack is ecstatic and throws his whole Fussy (Fenton pussy) into the relationship because Jack loves with everything he has.

Also I’m pretty sure the guilt of what went down plays a role. They hadn’t spoken in 20 years before BR. Jack probably figured Vlad never wanted to see him again. When Vlad seemingly makes an attempt to reach out, Jack embraces the second chance to make up not only for the accident but 2 decades of silence.

[quinn-pop]

when the knight is meta idk

ill draw other characters…eventually

[happilychaengs]

sana - studying

a/n: my titles suck and maybe this fic does too idk 😭 it's been too long since i published something. but the bun with a pencil is like ??? i was so impressed when i saw someone do it

papers scattered across her desk, almost like a fresh 1000 piece puzzle waiting to be put together. she ruffles through the sea of papers set in front of her, groaning as her hair droops down, a few strands laying flat against her workspace. she tucks it behind her ear as she bites her lip, a habit she's always had when she's focused too hard.

her eyes waver as they scan through the walls of random text and formulas, even though they're barely legible, "do you ever-"

"hate math and everything related to it? yes, sana. you've asked me that 3 times already."

"have i?" she flips through more of her unorganized notes, "i swear this is the first time."

you smile to yourself at her antics as you stand behind her, your hands slightly working her shoulders. she lets an almost satisfied sound escape her lips as she lets her head tilt back, her eyes lidded slightly.

"take a break, sana. you've been at this for hours."

"i really wish i could but," she slings her head over her notes again, the bliss she felt from your attempts at uplifting her spirit being short-lived, "i'm still not ready for my exam tommorow.

you let out a long sigh as you place a light kiss at the top of her head, squeezing her shoulders one last time before sitting on the edge of her bed knowing you can't ever change her mind, "fine. but please don't overwork yourself."

she lets out a small mumble, probably telling you she'll be fine though it's not held in very high regard. the both of you know she won't if she continues this.

she pushes up her glasses, her messy bun barely held together by an extra pencil she somehow tied in as she tugged on it slightly. you rest your chin on your hand as you stared at her features, admiring how hardworking she was.

almost 15 minutes pass before sana's gaze lands back on you as she furrows her eyebrows, a few loose strands falling in front of her face as she blows them away, "is there something on my face?"

"no."

"then... why are you looking at me that way?" her face flushes, "you're making me nervous and i can't focus..."

"i can't admire my girlfriend? i'm just waiting for you to finish." you have a lazy smile as she sighs, pulling out the pencil in her hair and getting up from her chair. she looks at you with such a loving, though very tired look before walking towards you, your hands now out to hold her hips.

she leans into your warmth, her lips kissing the top of your head before her legs practically gave out. she basically tackles you onto the bed as she shifts around, taking a deep breath into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent (technically hers because you're wearing her spare clothes).

you laugh as you kiss her forehead, your hands rubbing her back, "what about studying?"

you feel a slight tickle under your jaw as her breath hits it, a small pout on her lips, "i'm tired. i'll study in the morning. right now, i feel like putting all my attention on you instead."

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

[fatherentropy]

Hello and welcome to over self indulgent, overly complicated and hamfisted storytelling somehow including the funniest way to implement deus ex machina, some venting and other cringe shit probably idk. All that I'm sure is super esoteric unless you've been here for awhile and I'm so sorry. Looking forward to the "I have no idea what's going on here" notes. Me neither, man.

Part of this was to imply Yorick is tied to Apocrypha like a Daedra and isn't exactly strictly man or mer anymore but uuuh he's largely still a WIP so y'know. Grains of salt.

excuse me as I don't tag every CVF here and inconsistencies. I'm not terribly far with any of them plus my computer doesn't like Skyrim, and I feel like I'd be annoying if I did tag this <:3c

(also tbc, Laury doesn't have an accent. He just mumbles and doesn't hit those hard notes sometimes and should probably have more letters missing but I wanted him to be uuuh somewhat understandable.)

sorry about the uh font. Think some of these pages are only legible if you open image in new tab;;

[arillustrated]

ok so like i can't figure out why mizu was so disturbed by kinuyo's death... even tho it should be so obvious to me i just can't put it into words ?? it was so sad. i thought at first maybe it's bc she's acting as the protector she wish she'd had as a woman (aside from swordfather) but idk if that makes sense in my head. like. idk. it was just v quick and gentle but rly damn sad tbh and she was shaken from that point

(im going to use they/them pronouns for mizu not for any hc reason, its just for legibility. i just woke up so my train of thought is. there. itll be easier to read if there aren't 5 different she's that im referring to)

i think that what you're talking about is apart of it definitely, because i think that mizu associates womanhood with safety. it's something that they themself are not allowed to have because danger follows them regardless of where they go. this is also why i think mizu lets akemi be taken by her father's men, specifically emphasizing that being a wife to the emperor is a good life. which is a weird choice, but one that makes sense for mizu because they would be thinking about their own experience as a wife. mizu's happiest days were when she was married to mikio (less bc of the marriage and more bc they weren't constantly thinking about revenge but mizu hasn't made that connection). to mizu, being a woman is a life that they aren't allowed to have, as repeated throughout their childhood, because hunters will always come. their identities can't coexist, they can't be a woman and mixed race.

when mizu kills mikio, it's not because they think he sold them out to the hunters or because he killed their mom. mizu kills him because he stands in the way of their revenge. this is their justification for everyone they kill. the moment anyone gets in the way, everything that mizu unleashes on them is justified. when mikio and mizu's mother are fighting behind them, mizu realizes that they have let themself be distracted from their quest. revenge will always come looking for them, and the hunters were their wake up call. so after this, mizu is completely focused on their mission, represented by mikio literally being out of focus on screen. when he dies, he is just another blameless person standing in the way of mizu's revenge.

there are two things that i think make kinuyo's death worse for mizu. the first is that kinuyo had struggled and been abused all throughout her childhood, and when she had finally found safety, it was ripped away. the circumstances are different but im sure this hits home for mizu. kinuyo's story, albeit for different reasons, mirrors mizu's own tragedy. mizu sees themself in kinuyo, which is obviously hard to reconcile. the second reason is that kinuyo is a side quest. she's not another character standing in mizu's way, nameless and blameless. mizu can't justify killing kinuyo the same way they do everyone else.

[roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid]

question. should i read throam.

i'll refer you back to this ask i got two years ago and leave the link to throam here for you to decide for yourself 🤷‍♀️

added caveats:

i'm a fucking bi teenager born in the early 2000s and i do NOT get to determine if the fic has a "realistic enough" depiction of homophobia in the 70s lol i dont know why i thought id be an authority on that

plus i want to emphasize STRONGLY that the author puts in some truly fucking WACK ASS moments in here that will hit you like a fucking truck when you read them. some moments will give you whiplash from how out of pocket/fucked up/bizarre they are

ultimately though it's a very fun read

this next bit right here is gonna have throamies come for my throat BUT if you wanna try something a little unconventional tbh and miss a lot of the weird campy moments (i.e. get a more 'serious' reading experience) you could skip the first 2 volumes and start reading at volume 3. there might be some moments that would be confusing but like it would read pretty legibly. it would read more as a mystery novel which could be cool i think. you would experience the story moreso from the perspective of sisky and it would add a lotta intrigue idk i think it'd be a cool and unique experience

or you could always ignore me and read it the normal way lol. or just steer clear

[being-it]

chicago tags pt. 1

preamble:

walking around chicago is like going on a scavenger hunt, it's so freaking lush with tags! living here has made me all the more grateful for graffiti and to have gotten more into it this year, it feels like there's a hidden language (corny to say i kno) and clues everywhere for you to notice if you just pay attention. i feel like i'm almost creating a parasocial relationship with some of the tags i've seen around, especially "kool cig", because it feels like everywhere i go it's there with me- i wanna know who kool cig is and be their friend! they're hitting all the same spots as me! "wonder" is also one that i rly love and feels like has to be done by a gay faggot. some honorable mentions that i haven't documented enough of that are a couple rly prolific taggers are "loki" and "jamal". i gotta get more pics of those guys because they are EVERYWHERE especially loki. oh also i wanna say these are tags just from the neighborhoods of logan square/hermosa and west humboldt park/ukrainian village, so definitely not trying to claim that im sampling tags from the entire city of chicago ! ok now here's the post

"kool cig"

i rly love how playful kool cig feels with its wonky 'k' and 'g' lettering. it stands out everywhere & is a good reminder that legibility and consistency can make a rly good tag! it's style is simple but different. (also note that there is a "jamal" in the first pic and a "loki" in the fourth pic). i love kool cig!!!

"benon"

benon is all over, especially more by me in hermosa rather than deep in logan square. benon is a good example of how observing tags can feel like putting together a little puzzle sometimes! the first few benon i saw were just quick hand style tags where it was hard to tell if it was “bevon” or “benon”, but the more i saw around, and eventually seeing the bubble letters confirmed it, i felt confident it was benon. i also missed a sticker of theirs i saw too while biking! it’s cool that they do tags, throwies, and stickers//so comprehensive!

"wonder"

fucking gay...! ~wonder~ if its a lomelda reference. i love the angel and the lowkey :/ face built into the tag. u can also spot a "loki" in this photoset!

"peek" (my title)

i loveeee him!!! i saw another of him somewhere but couldn't snap a pic, one of my faves he's so cute!!!!! he kinda reminds me of kilroy was here #legacy

special mention- this guy:

i just think he's cute and kinda reminds me of matisse (i think the lettering is STG maybe? maybe swear to god? idk)

ok, that's it for part 1 since tumblr will only let me upload 30 photos at once! pt 2 coming soon!!

[zmediaoutlet]

abandoned(?) wip: the cult fic

Here's one that I really really really want to write because it was for a charity run and it is NOT the fault of the fic or the donator that I got hit with a depression meteor, nor indeed that somehow it was 'easier' to write a bunch of other fics instead of the charity fics that I still owe!! Ugh. The self is a real garbage pit sometimes. So hopefully let's call this one dormant and not abandoned, and so --

Big Idea: which isn't mine, bc charity fic as aforementioned, but -- Jared runs a cult and Jensen joins and there's lots of sexy sex. Pretty much. :) But because it's a cult fic, I really wanted to dive into that, which required plot [spits on floor], and it's really more now about like... lost youth getting wrapped up into a personality & lifestyle just for somewhere to belong. Like cult stories always go. It's an unusual fic for me in that I'd normally never do ageswap (even with J2 -- I prefer to keep them as is) and I don't actually have much interest in irl cults, but it's interesting as a stretch in that sense.

Why it was abandoned: because plot!!! Ugh. Plot is the worst, idk how people are like 'ooh I wanna get all involved in this murder mystery'. Yack. But if it's gonna have a plot it's got to work, and it also has to have a bunch of legible and interesting and not-quirky-stand-in characters -- like I want it to read like actual humans, not goofy nonsense a la the cult in Bad Times at the El Royale. So that requires some genuine thought and time put in and probably even a chart, and... #lazy writer noises. But I have some random scenes I think might be good already planned. Trouble would be if I could make Jared-the-cult-leader seem believable and not just like a doofy romance novel figure. My personal trouble with cults is that whenever someone's holding themselves up as a leader because of whatever mystical whatever I'm like, this motherfucker? Are y'all kidding? So I'll have to get over that instinct, lol.

Snippet:

"He renamed it when we came," Allie says, easy. She taps her thumb on the steering wheel, smiling. "He said Wildheart was more right, for what we were going to be." Jensen nods but he has no idea what that means. Whatever the name was before, the wild part at least is right. His grandpa had a farm, outside Dallas, and that was all neat rows, trimmed up hedges, smoothed-out roads with everything exactly in place. Jensen didn't mind it—driving it was easier, he thinks, as they're jolted by the Volkswagen rocking over yet another huge tree root—but it was… Well, it doesn't matter. He'll never see that farm again. He's about to ask another question when Allie turns, again, and the screen of oaks gives sudden way to—open air, a field. The sky opens up above them and Jensen leans forward, trying to see everything. They're on a dirt drive and there are—people, young, maybe his age or maybe Allie's, on the grounds on either side of the drive, working squared-off garden plots—tomatoes, in chickenwire cages. More that Jensen doesn't recognize as they roll past. A boy with red hair waves at the car and Allie waves back, grinning. "Good to be home," she says, to Jensen. Home, Jensen thinks, and chews his thumbnail, scanning the grounds. A medium-sized house, at the end of the lane, painted a faded yellow that needs redoing. On the west side of the house Allie pulls the Volkswagen up next to a purple Gremlin with messy handpainted yellow flowers on the rear hatch, a Cadillac with a rusted-out door and some kind of viney plant spilling out of the broken back window. "C'mon," Allie says, turning off the engine, so Jensen takes a deep breath and gets out of the car into the sunshine, holding his duffle up against his chest, looking around. No one's running up to bug them—the dozen people gardening are still gardening, down by the lane—and Allie flips her keys into her palm, comes around the hood of the car, touches his arm, soft. "Nothing be scared of, sweetie," she says, quiet even though it's just the two of them, and Jensen—believes her. He has to. He wouldn't have gotten into her car, otherwise.

[chesometer]

I’ve really enjoyed the boss design of Wallaru so far, with one exception.

I think Mr. Cane does a pretty terrible job of communicating what you are supposed to do from a game design standpoint. At first, I thought it was a boss where the gimmick was that using spells that hit the hostages below their 6000 armor auras results in immediate disqualification. Because of this, I used single target spells to kill Mr. Cane and his minion. His “careful now, mind the hostages” cheat dialogue seems to communicate this. However, Mr. Cane then proceeded to fully heal. I was completely baffled by this, because I was convinced I had played the fight completely correctly. After all, what kind of sense does it make for me to attempt to kill two hostages before the guy holding them hostage?

I then tried to target the hostages because there was basically no other option to try, but all my attacks just dealt 0 damage. There’s no cheat feedback or anything, your spells just don’t do anything unless you manage to meet a requirement that’s barely communicated to the player. I think a cheat message on this condition, basically saying “hey you need to hit harder to deal damage against these guys” would go a long way towards improving fight legibility. As is, I literally had no idea what to do until I consulted the wiki. From my perspective, attacking the boss just caused him to heal infinitely, and attacking the hostages was pointless because they were invincible.

After consulting the wiki, I also just don’t know that the hostage cheat worked properly for me? It seems like the fight wants you to hit through their armor, but not enough to kill them. However, because I am a death wizard who was using drains, my spells ignored the armor entirely. I hit one enemy enough to fully kill them, and I wasn’t punished the way the wiki says I should be? Idk. Just sorta strange all around, can’t say I’m a fan of pretty much anything about this one. I’ve loved the other boss fights though! Just finished the Dream Freddie fight and I thought that one was punishing but fair, and I had a good time workshopping strategy. I also loved the Morp fight, I was genuinely caught off guard when she ended my fight lmao

[byeler]

8, 31, and 54 !!

8. Favorite trope to write.

i answer with bedsharing every time bc it will NEVER miss so lemme think of a better answer. idk what to call it exactly but i love when characters kiss before they've admitted their feelings. the absolute height of tension and stupidity to be making out with someone and thinking "wow it sucks they don't actually like me :/" 10/10 hits every single time

31. Hardest character to write.

hmmm i tend to avoid writing some of the villains bc i do struggle with them a bit, especially bc we haven't seen all their motives so i'm not always sure where to go with them. i haven't done much with vecna for this reason

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

a lot of my writing tips tend to be organizational ones since i have adhd and my biggest struggles are all directly related to that but!!

-write it down as soon as you think it!! i will usually think of good lines for a scene i'm nowhere near ready to actually work on and if i don't write it then and there, i will forget it by the time i get to it. for long fics i sometimes have a separate document where i put random lines i think i'm gonna use later but don't have a place for yet

-highlight places to revisit!! i used to get SO hung up on certain words or phrases or just pieces that i didn't like but couldn't think of how to fix, but i didn't want to move forward bc i would forget to go back and fix it later. idk why it took me so long to figure out i can just highlight that section and keep writing. it's so easy for me to get distracted trying to find synonyms or researching like what color walls a character's bedroom has or whatever the fuck, and i'd waste so much time and end up down a youtube rabbit hole or some shit and completely lose my groove. i get mad when i think about how stupid i was not doing this before

-read dialogue out loud. i know everyone says this but just. do it. whisper shit to yourself in your bedroom like a dumbass. it absolutely helps you figure out phrasing and speech patterns and makes things sound so much more fluid and natural

-sometimes the best thing to do is just write a bunch of bullshit and go back and edit it into something legible. just getting words out is so helpful even if you know you're gonna change half of them in the long run

[sevlgi]

foreigner

requested: no

group: (g)i-dle

pairing: soojin x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: foreigner!soojin, airport meet-cute. [29/33]

warnings: none

synopsis: The last person you expect to meet at the airport is a cute foreigner girl.

a/n: uhh i rewrote this like 8 times idk why i still hate it.. for this piece, italicized dialogue is in english! anything else is in korean. ALSO this is not meant to mock foreigners in any way!! i just saw this on a drama and thought it’d be cute :)

word count: 1k

Soojin sort of resented her friends for leaving her hanging. 

Only sort of, though; she knew that Yuqi and Minnie had their own lives and things to attend to in those lives. It was just a bit annoying that she had to visit America without either of her English-speaking friends, only armed with a mediocre translating app and any remaining foreign language skills left behind from school.

The airport in Korea was a breeze, but Soojin was worried out of her mind for the entire flight. It wasn’t as simple as just getting to the airport and convincing a taxi driver to take her to her hotel, either- there were 2 different train stations and several taxi rides to get through before she could even arrive in the right city.

To sum it all up; the scariest thing of her life.

Still, she didn’t expect her first crisis to come just after getting off the plane. Panting and clutching her printed-out destinations in hand, Soojin raced through the lobby, suitcase shaking over the bumpy floor. 

The doors slid open for her, and she sped up to reach the shuttles in time, but she wasn’t quick enough to stop running before she crashed into someone else. “Oh-”

“I’m so sorry!” Her mind barely registered that she was being spoken to in English, Soojin’s eyes widening at the sight of a hand being extended to her. “Are you okay?”

"I... I am okay.” She accepted your hand to stand up, cheeks flushing when she was nearly face-to-face with you and your gorgeous smile. “So sorry for... for hitting you.”

You shrugged, picking her suitcase up for her. “No, it’s fine! It’s really my fault. Where are you headed?”

Soojin’s frown seemed to be enough to cue to you that she didn’t understand you at the speed you were speaking, realization dawning on your face. “I’m going a little fast, right? Where are you going?”

She extended the paper in her hand lamely, hoping that the half-legible notes amidst the Korean on it were enough for you to decipher as she couldn’t pronounce the name of the town. “Ah! Are you Korean?” you suddenly asked, turning to her.

“Yes,” she tested out, smiling when you seemed to understand. “Do you speak it?”

“Not much,” you laughed in response, handing the paper back and starting to walk out towards where the buses were parked. “But I can usually understand it, if you speak slowly. Let’s go together, we’re on the same bus.”

“Ah, really? That’s great,” Soojin grinned, following you to the shuttle. “I’m Soojin, by the way.”

Turning back as your ticket was scanned, you replied, “Y/N. Are you on a trip alone in America?”

The brunette shrugged as her own ticket was scanned, scanning the interior of the bus for seats. “Yeah. I was supposed to come with my friends who speak English, but they were delayed at the last minute. Are you headed to the same train station too?”

“I’m actually going the same route as you to the same town,” you answered, raising an eyebrow with a matching quirk of your lip. Your Korean was a little bit haltering and spoken in fragments, but it was easily understandable to the other girl. “Coincidence or fate?”

Soojin even surprised herself by reaching out to swat your arm lightly. Your knee brushed up against hers as you sat opposite of her. “Aish, Y/N. So greasy, I can see that you’re American.”

“Not all Americans are as pretty as me, though,” you pouted, reaching up to cup your face. The brunette couldn’t help the shy smile on her face, turning to the window as the bus started up and the driver shouted something. “So, Soojin, tell me about yourself. It’s going to be a long ride, and we might as well enjoy ourselves.”

Conversation flowed surprisingly easily considering the language gap; both of you sometimes had to repeat yourselves for the other to understand, but Soojin found herself constantly smiling at the little jokes you made. Sometimes, you tried your best to speak in Korean, though it seemed to be enough just to understand each other.

With conversation, time flowed past, and the two of you got through all 2 train station transfers without incident. You were perfectly sweet, carrying her luggage and opening doors, walking ahead of her when you descended the stairs.

It was stupid how much Soojin enjoyed being with you.

When it came time for you to part ways on different taxis, she kept one leg outside the taxi to say her goodbyes. “So, Y/N, will we be seeing each other again?”

“Depends,” you smiled, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “Are you free tomorrow?”

“Yuqi and Minnie arrive tomorrow,” the brunette explained, hitching her bag up higher on her shoulder. “But I can squeeze some time in before then, if you want.”

The grin that split across your face beamed like sunlight in the mostly cloudy day as you backed away from the taxi. “Great! I know where you live, so I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Don’t say it like that, it’s creepy,” Soojin laughed, hand lingering on the door. “See you, Y/N.”

You stayed on the curb even as the car pulled away, fading into a tiny waving figure. Once she couldn’t see you anymore, Soojin pulled out her phone to respond to the messages her friends had sent.  

yuqi [4:51]   unnie how was your flight?

minnie [4:57]   R u alive??

soojin [5:08]   I’m alive, stop it

minnie [5:09]   ok good!

minnie [5:09]   did u make it through the trains okay?

yuqi [5:10]   sorry we couldn’t be with you!  

soojin [5:11]   I was fine, I found someone to help me :)

As her phone started vibrating faster with messages, Soojin smiled again, finding a new text from you too. 

Y/N [5:08]   see you tomorrow, foreigner girl 

Tomorrow, indeed. 

[the-incapable-hero]

So uh... I made these on a whim and I couldn't stop. This ended up being longer than I wanted it to be and I still have more ideas. I guess if you want more then let me know? Idk I've never done this before but if you want I could also try doing this for other characters? Maybe. Anyway, enjoy.

Ranboo general headcanons

He likes temperature extremes

Like he prefers it to be super hot or super cold

It keeps his mind in the moment and the cold gives him nostalgia while the hot reminds him of physical contact

That being said he's gotten super tolerant to extreme temperatures and is getting more and more used to it

Why else would he jump in lava so much and walk through his campfire while he lives with barely any walls in a tundra?

Dude is a master at baking and making sweet treats

Before he learned the trick with picking up and placing blocks, he would stress bake

Thanks to this his skill is insane

It's to the point where you could essentially give him an assortment of vaguely edible things and he'd probably be able to make something that tastes like it was made by a professional

Though this does mean that he ends up with a lot of extra sweets

He once made so many cookies that he had to ask the entire SMP twice over if they wanted some just to finish the batch

They appreciated it, but there were definitely some pastries left to expire on shelves and in chests

Techno and Phil get the brunt of it too

It's not like they don't appreciate it, but they've made it a tradition to include any animals that were able to eat Ranboo's treats without getting sick

Ranboo started making pumpkin cookies that dogs could eat because of this

Related to this: gifts and chores

He gives gifts like you would not believe and will do so many chores for Techno and Phil

Their house has never been cleaner

Interestingly enough, Ranboo only ever cleans Phil and Techno's house and never his own

The most he'll do is shovel snow out of the way so that he can actually enter his shack

Does he hit his head on doorways?

Yes

Constantly

There's legitimately a little collection of nicks in the wood of Techno and Phil's doorframe where Ranboo's crown would scuff the wood

Boy has no posture either

He slouches so much and can't bring himself to fix it

It's uncomfortable to him, but he's seen people give him looks when he stands at his full height so now it's a habit for him to be constantly curled in on himself

That being said, when he stands up straight, people are always surprised at least a little because man is a tree

He's surprisingly agile for his size and he uses this to his advantage when fighting mobs or in the rare case he'd actually fight someone

Though I did say agile and not strong

He's… not exactly heavy lifter

It's not like he's weak, he's just not as physically strong as the majority or the people on the server so it makes him look a lot less strong in comparison

He also has the best handwriting on the server

He can write super fast but it looks super nice and legible

He can also do a few styles of calligraphy so people ask him to make banners and stuff sometimes

When he looks people in the eye normally, he just gets really uncomfortable and it amplifies any negative emotion he's feeling

When he's in his "sleepwalk state", his stare is a lot worse

Instead of just affecting him, it affects both him and the person staring at him

They're both frozen, similar to being frozen by fear until one of them can gather enough willpower to look away which can take anywhere from a few seconds to a handful of minutes

He could potentially do this when he's not in his sleepwalk state, but his mind probably wouldn't allow him to neither remember nor stay out of his sleepwalk state so he'd probably just lose his consciousness

He can't teleport, but his footsteps are so quiet that at least a few people on the server think that he can and is just hiding it

He has a really high pain tolerance as well after getting stuck in a loop of him crying then the tears hurting him which causes him to cry more

Thanks to this as well as his temperature tolerance, he's freaked a few people out

He was with Phil at one point and they were going through the nether

Poor Ranboo got shot at by a ghast and while he wasn't hit directly, the fire charge grazed him

Cue his suit being caught on fire and some very ugly looking burns

He didn't say anything about the burns and barely flinched at the fire do Phil didn't even notice at first

Until they got out of the nether of course

"Uh, Ranboo?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you on fire?"

Ranboo: *looks down at arm*

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. Whoops."

Phil: *confused and protective noises as he drags Ranboo to a brewing stand for regen potions*

Another time he freaked Tubbo out because he got cut on something sharp and didn't even notice until Tubbo pointed out the blood that was staining his shirt

Now for the yikes question: does he have scars on his face from crying?

Sort of

There's no visible scars except for at the corners of his eyes and slightly below that place where the tears gather

The rest is actually not noticeable unless he's in a specific light or if you're actually touching his face

The scars are there and you can easily tell because there are rough streaks on his face, similar to callouses

[nicknellie]

300 followers, babyyy! Idk how this even happened lmao but thank you so much. I love this fandom and I love that I get to share it with so many amazing people. Reminder that you can come talk to me whenever - my asks are always open, as are my DMs. Anyway, here’s my 300 celebration! Missing scene, as usual. Seeing as it’s Christmas Eve you can consider this a gift if you want!

I Wish I Could Help Him

Flynn was a genius, Julie would stand by that forever. And her idea to write Luke a song to show him how much she cared was a great one, Julie could admit that was true too. The only issue was that it was a much better plan on paper than in practise.

It wasn’t that Julie didn’t want to write Luke a song - she loved writing songs, and writing one for the boy she was slowly falling for seemed like fun. And it wasn’t that she didn’t know how to write the song - after school had finished she had come straight home and gone down to the studio, sat at the grand piano with a notepad and pen in hand, ready. It was just that the right words wouldn’t come.

Because the question was this: How did one write about Luke Patterson?

And this was the answer: They didn’t, because it was a ridiculously difficult thing to do.

The problem was that there was simply too much of Luke to write about and even when it was narrowed down there weren’t words that could truly do him justice. His love of music couldn’t be crafted into lyrics; the way he loved his friends like they were his family couldn’t be transformed into a melody; his fierce loyalty and bravery and unwavering kindness had no rhythm; his hair, his smile, his whole self had no rhyme scheme to be put to. Luke was too himself to be confined to a three-minute tune.

It was ironic in a way. Luke, for whom music was everything, who poured a piece of his heart and soul into every note he played or sang, couldn’t be defined by the very thing that did in so many ways define him.

Then there was the other part that Julie wanted to write about. Their pain, an experience they shared. The loss of their mothers.

After her mother had passed away, Julie hadn’t given up on music immediately. For about a week afterwards, she had sat alone in her bedroom with blank manuscript paper in front of her, searching for words and a melody to help her say how she felt. The words hadn’t come then and they wouldn’t come now.

Loss was a difficult thing to describe. It was the lurch of the stomach when you thought there was another step on the staircase but there was nothing; it was reaching for something only to clutch air; it was remembering something just to realise you didn’t have a reason to remember it anymore. That feeling of wanting to talk to someone but not being able to was something so raw and untouchable that it hurt to think about, it made Julie’s head spin.

She had made a lot of progress in the past year. It was a slow and gradual process, but it was undoubtedly there. But the thing about grief is that it never truly leaves and it keeps some wounds open for a dreadfully long time. Maybe, Julie thought, despite all her progress she simply wasn’t ready to write about her mother directly just yet.

It was alright. These things take time.

But she didn’t want to give up on the song all together, she still wanted to do something for Luke. Part of her wished he were there with her, helping her write the song, but that would completely defeat the point. Words came to Luke like dogs to a whistle, and Julie had never envied him of that more.

What she needed was inspiration. And luckily, she happened to spot Luke’s songbook lying open on the couch.

She got up and moved over there, picking up the songbook and looking through it. Luke’s handwriting was hard to read at the best of times and he had a tendency to write lyrics quickly so they didn’t escape his mind, so a lot of the songs were barely legible. But there was one song near the middle of the book that he had clearly taken his time over because it was written in handwriting that was neat by Luke’s standards.

Unsaid Emily.

Julie hadn’t had the chance to read it completely before. She did then and broke. Luke had managed to capture that despair and desperation in his lyrics - of course he had, Julie didn’t need to be surprised, that was what he did. Every word dripped agony and regret and longing and Julie’s heart shattered.

It hit her like a bus. Maybe Luke didn’t need a song from her. Maybe he didn’t need a grand gesture or a romantic declaration. Maybe he didn’t need to know his pain was shared - hell, he probably knew that already.

Maybe all he needed was closure.

Julie thought for just a moment more and then tore the page from his book before she could think twice about it. Not looking back or hesitating, she left the studio, racking her brains to remember the way Alex and Reggie had taken her to the Pattersons’ house.

Luke didn’t need a song from her if he’d already written the perfect one himself. All he needed was for the right person to hear it, and Julie would do anything to make sure it happened.

[joontopia]

Underneath the Ginkgo Tree | KNJ - Teaser

pairings: namjoon x female reader

rating: nsfw, 18+

genre: slight time travel!au, soulmate(if you squint)!au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, influenced by the movie The Lake House

series warnings: angst, fluff, pining, language, mentions of death, major character death, talks of mental health, description of hospital scenes, description of car accidents (more warnings will come with each chapter)

teaser warnings: a couple of dashes of angst, slight pining, language? (did i write curse words in this? probably idk) mention of a break up, talks of feeling lost

teaser word count: 2.9k

series release: 1st qtr 2021

a/n: thank you to my twin and soulmate, @escapingreality4now​ for reading over this and fixing my mistakes. thank you for always being so enthusiastic about all of the random ideas that I have and start to work on (even when it brings me away from the one WIP you’ve been waiting on an update for hehehe). I love you!

The lone ginkgo tree stood out among the others that were outlining the small clearing. It looks absolutely beautiful the way the golden leaves contrast to the dark green around them. It seemed almost magical and you silently scold yourself for leaving your camera back at the studio. You walk across the grass clearing towards the ginkgo tree, examining it along the way. As you get closer, you notice carvings in the wide base of the tree in the shape of a small door, looking to be about a foot tall and half a foot wide.

“How cute,” you mutter to yourself, crouching down to examine the door further. Placing your backpack up against the tree, you notice a small hoop attached to the door, the opening of the ring just big enough for you to hook two fingers. You pull on the hoop, letting out a small gasp of excitement as the door gives way, revealing a hollow opening in the tree. You peak through the doorway, seeing nothing but dried leaves and small sticks. A slight breeze blows past you as you start to close the door, moving around the contents inside the hollowed out trunk. The door was almost half way closed when something caught your eye.

You peak back into the small room, noticing something long and light blue under the rearranged foliage. You look around the hollowed trunk, making sure there’s no hidden creature that could jump out and bite you. “Oh God, please don’t let there be a snake,” you think to yourself as you reach in to retrieve the mystery item. Snatching your arm back, you let out a small breath and chuckle at yourself for the small overreaction.

“An envelope?” you say out loud, looking at the newly retrieved item in your hand. You flip it over while observing it, noticing that it's sealed with nothing written on the front.

“I wonder if anything’s in it,” you mumble to yourself. You reposition yourself with your back up against the trunk of the tree, opening the envelope as you get settled. The paper tears easily and you guess that it must be old. Finally getting the envelope wide enough, you pull out a piece of paper, unfolding it carefully to make sure not to tear it. You were happy to see the writing was still legible with only some minor smudges and dirt marks spread across the page. Noticing a small date at the top, you squint as you bring the paper closer to read, only able to make out a faint 2018 as the rest of the date was ruined by the dirt.

“Two years ago… Wow.” You pull the paper back, taking a quick look around the small meadow before you start to read.

Dear future me,

I hope when you open this letter, it finds you well. Maybe you finally asked out that cute girl in your Art History class. Or maybe, at the very least, grew a pair to introduce yourself to her properly. Anyways, I’m not writing this to give you a hard time. We’re dealing with enough of that as it is. I’m just hoping that writing this will be something to help me gain some motivation. Give me a sense of purpose. Things just feel stagnant lately. I’m in the middle of my Senior year of university and have no idea what I’m going to do once I graduate. Everyone around me seems to have everything planned out and I’m just… here. I’m hoping when you finally read this again, you’ll have found your path. I promise to try my best on my end to get you there.

Starting with Art History girl. Hopefully she likes nature walks or hikes. I would love to take her to this old ginkgo tree for a picnic. So let’s work on step #1. Figure out how to simply walk up to her without falling flat on your face.

This is hopeless. Sending you luck and well wishes from the past. - Joon

You flip the page around to see if there was anything only to be met with a blank back.

“I wonder if he ever came back to read this,” you think out loud. Taking a look around the base of the tree, it seems like this place has been unbothered for quite some time. You assume so, anyways, especially with how covered the letter was when you found it. You continue to sit there against the tree, looking out into the small clearing. “Maybe I should write a letter back.”

You feel a slight gust of wind, closing your eyes as you appreciate the soft chill kiss your face and the beautiful sound of the rustling leaves of the ginkgo tree. “I’m guessing I should take that as a yes,” you say with a giggle. The tiny laugh is cut short as you let out a small scoff and shake your head.

“Great. I don’t know what's worse; me talking to myself or to the wind,” you grumble as you reach into your backpack, pulling out a notebook and pen, flipping to a blank page. “Okay, well here goes nothing.”

You sat at the base of the ginkgo tree writing out your letter back to this Joon. Constantly erasing and rewriting half of it, feeling like you were getting too deep and personal with your reply. It wasn’t until the third revision that you finally told yourself that it didn’t matter. No one was going to find it and read it anyways. Once complete, you reach back into your bag, pulling out a yellow envelope meant for holding photos. You check to make sure it’s empty before stuffing your letter inside and sealing it. You place the envelope inside the hollow base of the tree and close the door.

Standing up, you brush the leaves and dirt off your knees, backside, and hands. Not quite ready to leave your newly found secret hideaway, you look around the area, eyeing many rocks of different shapes and sizes. Most of them being just the right size for making a rock tower. You check your watch for the time, mentally calculating just how much time you have before you need to be back at the studio. “5 minutes until noon. Just one tower, one wish, and then I’ll head back to the real world. Sound good?” you said out loud, looking up at the ginkgo tree. A small breeze picks back up as you start to search for the perfect rocks. The wind softly blows through the leaves as if it were trying to give you a response.

The sun sits high in the sky as Namjoon treks down the now familiar path as the wind blows softly around him. The trees and bushes make the most comforting sounds as their branches and leaves rub together through the breeze. He looks down at the blue envelope in his hand before checking the time on his watch. 5 minutes until noon. He’s out here earlier than usual. A bittersweet surprise due to his class being canceled. The very class where he was finally going to talk to the pretty girl who sat by the window. Or at the very least, sit right next to her awkwardly while not saying anything at all. He hadn’t planned on writing another letter, but with the surge of motivation the last one had left him, he felt like it wouldn’t hurt to do it again.

Namjoon readjusts the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder as he enters the small hidden meadow. His eyes and lips turn up into a small smile as he looks at the lone ginkgo tree. “Hello, old friend,” he says as he approaches the base of the tree. The branches and leaves sway in the wind as if giving their own greeting back. Namjoon looks around at the empty meadow before placing his bag on the ground and kneeling before the small wooden door.

“I’m not here for long, friend,” he says as he looks up at the tree. “Just dropping off another.” Namjoon reaches for the small loop to open the door. Blue envelope in hand, he reaches in to place the letter inside, pausing when he sees something he didn't expect. There in the middle of the hollow trunk sat a clean, yellow envelope, seemingly untouched by the nature around it.

“I didn’t think anyone else knew about this place,” Namjoon mumbles to himself. He grabs the envelope from the opening, eyes going wide in a small moment of panic as he realizes his previous letter is no longer there. He lets out a low groan. “Oh no, someone read my letter.”

He hits his head with his palm, looking at the stranger’s envelope in his hand “Should I read it? They wouldn’t respond with their own letter just to laugh at me, right?” he thinks to himself. Namjoon looks around before adjusting himself to lean against the wide tree trunk. He opens the envelope, pulling out the letter. The faint scent of a female’s perfume follows, hitting Namjoon’s senses as he breathes it in. Appreciating the lovely scent while also finding it oddly familiar, but he just can’t place it. He takes a look at the letter and shrugs his shoulders. “Well I guess fair’s fair,” he mumbles to himself again as he begins to read the mystery letter.

Dear Joon,

I hope you don’t mind that I read your letter. It seemed to have been left untouched for sometime. I felt the least I could do is write back, even if you don’t ever return to this place. I would like to apologize in advance for using your letter as my own little outlet to vent. I’m sure there’s more interesting things you would like to know about the future if you were to ever find this. Not much has changed in the two years since your letter. The world is still a big mystery where people still feel lost. Myself included. I hope that’s not too discouraging. It’s normal to experience a sense of mispurpose and self doubt in college. Everyone feels lost at least once in their lives. Even if they felt like they had everything planned and figured out. The universe doesn’t make exceptions in that affair.

If you did figure a way out of your stump, let a girl know. I could use some words of wisdom myself. My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me not too long ago. On White Day, if you can believe it. We started dating my senior year of university and I thought we were on the same page as far as our future together was concerned. But there I was, sitting on a bench in Yongsan Park, thinking I was about to be proposed to and end up getting dumped instead. He always talked about marriage, but I guess people tend to just change their minds.

But here’s the real kicker… my feeling of being lost isn’t from the heartbreak. I wish it were that simple. I'm feeling lost because when he broke up with me and ended almost two years of us, I didn’t feel sad. I felt relieved. Who in their right mind feels relief when the person they thought they were going to spend their life with breaks up with them? I don't know. Maybe love just isn't for me.

Anyways, that was a long drawn out way of saying, don’t place your sense of purpose on a relationship, let alone another person. People will only let you down. That being said, if Art History Girl doesn’t enjoy nature walks or picnics, she’s not the one. It sounds like the perfect date. - Y/N 2♥2♥

Namjoon reads the last couple of lines over again, smirking as he traces the small hearts you drew in place of the zeros of the year by your name. “Cute,” he mumbles to himself as he places your letter on the ground next to him, digging into his bag for his notebook and a pen. He quickly scribbles out a response, grabbing the blue envelope he brought and discarding his unread letter from it. Replacing it with the new one he just wrote. Namjoon sticks the now sealed envelope and letter into the holy trunk, closing the door before checking his watch again. Almost 12:35 PM.

“I guess I have time to eat lunch here.” Namjoon reaches back into his bag, pulling out the carefully wrapped sandwich his roommate made him this morning. After finishing his meal, he leans back against the tree, closing his eyes, enjoying the occasional breeze as the time passes. Deciding he spent enough time hiding from the real world, Namjoon stands from his spot against the tree, grabbing his bag in the process. He takes a quick glance at the small door, eyebrows furrowing as he does a double take, noticing the door is slightly ajar. “Didn’t I close this?” he thought to himself as he kneels back down in front of the door, opening it wider to see if anything was keeping it from closing all the way.

“What the hell?!” Namjoon exclaims as his eyes widen at the sight of another yellow envelope lying in the middle of the hollow trunk. His blue envelope, once again, nowhere to be seen.

You take a step back from your newly built structure, admiring your handiwork. You decided to build the little rock tower at the base of the tree, right in front of the little door. You tell yourself it’s to discourage any newcomers from opening the door, but you know it's just to discourage yourself from retrieving your letter.

“Okay, Y/N, now make a wish.” You close your eyes and bow your head by the rock tower. Searching your mind for the perfect wish, you finally land on the right words. Please let me be wrong about love. Please let it find me in this lifetime. You let out a deep breath as you open your eyes. Grabbing your bag off the ground, you take one more look up at the ginkgo tree before starting back towards the walking trail.

“I hope I’m able to find this place again,” you whisper to yourself as you take a few steps away from the tree. You’re only halfway across the small meadow when the sound of a snapping twig stops you in your track, causing you to turn around, looking for the source of the noise.

“Hello?” You call out as you look around the seemingly empty meadow. Finding nothing, you turn back around towards the walking trail. “The woods make noises, Y/N. Nothing to freak out about,” you mumble to yourself.

You barely take another step when you hear the sound of rocks falling behind you. You quickly turn around, hoping to catch whatever person or woodland creature that could be causing these disturbances only to find that you’re still alone in the meadow. You take a quick scan of the area before your eyes move straight to your rock tower at the base of the ginkgo tree. Or at least what used to be your rock tower. What resides there now is just a pile of rocks. The sight of your fallen tower alone isn’t enough to put you on edge. Rocks fall. You just didn’t expect to see the previously closed door at the base of the tree to now be wide open.

You take slow steps back towards the tree, scanning the surroundings again for anyone or anything hiding in the tree line. Telling yourself that it was just the wind as you make it back to the tree, you kneel down to close back the little door. Your movements halt when you sneak a peek inside the hollow trunk, your eyes landing on what should have been the yellow envelope you just left inside. Instead, in its place, you find another blue envelope. You snatch the envelope from the hollow trunk, tearing it open with so much force that you wouldn’t be surprised if you ripped the letter inside. You pulled the letter from the envelope and began to read.

Dear Y/N,

Thank you for writing me back. I’m going to be honest, I'm a little surprised to have found your letter. I didn’t think anyone else knew about this place, considering it's off a hidden path that's found off another hidden path. But I’m happy someone else gets to enjoy the beauty of this hidden gem of a meadow. Thank you for your kind words. It’s nice to know there are people out there who care enough to try and comfort a stranger. I’m sorry to read about your breakup. Those are never easy, regardless of the tenure of the relationship. I hope you don’t feel too troubled by your feelings around it. It could just be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes you have to close one door for another to open. I believe there is someone for everyone and they will find you when you least expect it. So if you return here to find this letter, don’t give up. Love will find you. I promise. - Joon

P.S. Thanks for the little 2020 joke. Got quite a chuckle out of that one. Maybe we’ll see each other at this ol’ ginkgo tree some day. You know, in the current year of 2018.

© joontopia 2020 all rights reserved - Do not copy, Do not translate, Do not repost

[oikaw-ugh]

Sino (Kageyama x m!reader)

a/n: Yes. Another Kageyama fic. Idk what's with this King and I keep writing for him. And yes, this is a bxb fic. Yes, I'm a fujoshi. Yes. This is also influenced with Given anime? It's on air at Japan and I can't watch it >=[ 

 A song fic(?) of Unique Salongga's 'Sino' (that shit is so good)

Warning:

-typographical and grammatical mistakes and my lack of vocabulary.

-also, m!reader is described with characteristics that are common for (East) Asian boys.

-mention of blood and suggestive words indicating of sick!y/n

Who would've thought I would love you?

Kageyama stared longingly at the court. This shocked everyone-no, shock is an understatement. Astonished? Baffled? They were surprised to see him voluntarily ask for a water break, a request that is most certainly out of his character as he has always been loyal to volleyball training.

As much as Kageyama despised being off the court, he needed to. For he couldn't collect his self altogether. Despite his collectiveness, his certainty as his fingers passed the ball to the team, he couldn't help but to have a slight resist everytime.

"Sensei, I'm here on behalf of the student council."

He looked to his right, only to see him. He didn't even bother to give Kageyama a side glance as his entire attention is alloted for the club's teacher.

It didn't bother Kageyama. Instead, he took this as an opportunity to freely wander his eyes on him.

He was free to stare at his drowsy brown eyes, his lips that are in a straight line, his neatly cropped hair that covered up to his brows.

He probably should thank the sport for training his eyes to be wary as possible because even the way his black uniform hung loosely at his unathletic body did not escape Kageyama's vision.

He glanced at Kageyama.

Kageyama had to look away and suddenly, he is reminded by his brain of the very first encounter he had with him.

Kageyama grunted as he scrubbed the green board with full force, channeling his hate on the inanimate object as the fact that Hinata gets to go to the gym earlier than him irritates his skin.

God, who invented cleaning duties?

Kageyama's self hate is disrupted as he heard the sliding door screech. Surprised, he looks at the door, only to find an oddly familiar lad who share the same uniform as him.

"Kageyama-kun," the way Kageyama's name sounded with his flat voice made Kageyama's insides upset, "Hello."

Kageyama did not react but he only stared. Unvoiced curiosity escaping from his eyes instead. Who is he? Why does he know my name? The back of his mind asked.

His questions remained unanswered. Instead, this unfamiliar yet familiar guy walked his way towards the the lockers at the back, pulling a worn-out mop.

"I'm a cleaner, too," he said this in a voice with no intonation, as if he's only speaking for the sake of respect.

Kageyama, despite his thoughts, nodded. Looking back at the board again and this time, his scrub lighter than before, suddenly growing conscious knowing that he shares the room with someone else.

He's used to silence. Kageyama's not much of a talker himself. And yet he found the silence between him and the other deafening and nerve-wracking. The back of his mind played a couple of conversation starters that he knew he can use. But then, he lacked the courage-

"Oh."

"Oh."

The two lads jumped in surprise as their backs hit one another. Kageyama abruptly looked at his back and so did the latter, both surprised as they see the other staring at them.

"I'm sorry," Kageyama apologized with his usual gravelly voice.

"It's alright," the other replied, slightly chuckling this time, rendering Kageyama surprised as this person's dull look dissolved into a forced smile.

Kageyama glanced into his pin attached on his left chest.

It shows '(L/N)(Y/N)', written in legible Nihonggo characters.

Who will confess their feelings?

As much as Kageyama wanted to revolve his entire life at volleyball, the harsh reality forbids him to do so.

Kageyama blankly stared at his paper, the ballpoint of his pen stucked on the first line where he has already written his name but as if he is on court, his thoughts are blocked. Not giving him the ability to write his reaction paper from the film they just watched.

"Kageyama-kun."

Kageyama awkwardly sat straight. His hands slightly raising his paper as he looked up only to see (L/N)-kun staring at him. This realization made him feel odd. His stomach churning the same way he did when he first met (L/N)-kun. His ears feeling hot despite of the blasting aircon across the library's domain.

"May I sit here?" He asked in a voice that sounded unbothered, a fact that Kageyama is in awe. How could he remain so composed at the moment?

Was he the only one who is feeling this way? Are you saying that (L/N)-kun isn't feeling his stomach upset the same way his is? His hands aren't sweating? His breath isn't hitching? Kageyama needed answers.

His thoughts were put into a halt when (L/N)-kun looked up to him, catching him off guard. He wanted to apologize over nothing but he had his tongue tide.

"You weren't watching, were you?" (L/N)-kun asked, his body slightly leaning on the table, allowing Kageyama to see a portion of his collar bones with his uniform's upper buttons unbuttoned. He swallowed what was stuck on his throat.

"The what?"

"The film. You weren't watching the film?"

"I wasn't."

(L/N)-kun sported a soft smile, a smile that got Kageyama choking on his own breath once again, making him softly gasp in awe.

"I wasn't, too," (L/N)-kun confessed.

Why don't I know why? It always comes to me. Though sometimes I am not enough.

Kageyama needed no one.

Kageyama did not need his superiors' words, he did not need Hinata's comforting words. He did not need the managers', the coach's comfort.

He needed no one. He's always been alone and he's fine alone.

He stopped on his tracks as he sees (L/N) on the doorstep of his classroom. Both of them froze as they are held captive with one another's eyes.

Kageyama frowned, feeling his stomach upset again. The odd feeling climbing its way towards his throat. His lips aggressively shaking as he tried to restrain himself from screaming 'help me' at (L/N)-kun.

He needed no one so why is he desperately seeking for (L/N)-kun's words?

"Kageyama-kun? Are you alright?" His flat voice asked in a tone slightly higher than the usual. Was this his attempt on being empathic? Was he reaching out?

Kageyama gulped everything at once. His eyes fluttering as he nodded curtly, "I am."

Though it felt like it wasn't enough.

I will continue to find love. The meaning of love.

Upset. Kageyama's upset.

A failure. He is a failure. A failure for not being enough. If he were more competent, more skilfull, more talented, he would've won. He would've defeated his former senior's team.

And yet he wasn't and this frustrates him. Days have passed and yet his frustration still lingers inside him, casually clenching his fist and chewing his lips until they turned white and his lips bled. A harsh punishment his judgment has given him-

"Here."

A striking pain touched his forearm. Cold. He trails his eyes towards his arm only to see a cold drink resting on top of it. His eyes followed where the drink came from and it led him to the sight of (L/N)-kun, looking down at him.

He wanted to ask why and what it was for but (L/N)-kun pressed the drink harder onto his skin, urging him to take it in which he did.

(L/N)-kun walked beside him and sat on the cold floor as well. Both of them leaned on the school's walls as the sound of the vending machine vibrated at the side.

Kageyama pierced the straw towards his drink. He takes a sip and is temporarily relieved with the taste of yogurt on his tongue. He glances at (L/N)-kun who only stared at the empty hallway.

"Where's Hinata?" (L/N)-kun asked as your familiar companion is nowhere to be found.

And will be alone forever.

Who is worthy of my love? Who should I set as my priority?

Kageyama tightened his grip on his shoe bag as he strode his way towards the doorway. The halls are empty given that it's already four in the afternoon. The sky painted orange as it is adorned with fleeting birds and gentle clouds.

Kageyama froze as he saw a familiar figure not too far away from him. A little glance and he immediately knew who it was who's shamelessly sitting on the hallway in a very odd position.

"(L/N)-kun," Kageyama muttered as he walked towards him, (L/N)-kun jolting with the mention of his last name. Though this wasn't enough to make him look at his back. Instead, this made him eager to hide his face more, only allowing Kageyama a flash of his shaking back.

"(L/N)-kun, are-"

"Kageyama-kun..." (L/N) looked up, allowing Kageyama a sight of his face which immediately made his color fade away.

"Are you alright?" Kageyama couldn't help but to crouch as he see what seems to be blood dripping from (L/N)'s nose.

(L/N) chuckled, slightly shoving Kageyama's tough arms, "Yes."

"You're off to practice?" He said in a dismissive tone, the back of his palms covering his nose. A futile attempt as Kageyama’s stares are entirely locked at the red liquid now lingering at his upper lip.

“Yes. Are you-”

“You should go now, it’s almost four-thirty,” (L/N)-kun cut him off, a subtle hint that he didn’t want Kageyama to pry. A hint that Kageyama was not able to take.

“But-”

(L/N) looks up. His eyes weaker than they usually appear on Kageyama’s eyes. A ghost of smile on his lips as he shook his head slightly.

“Just go.” (L/N)-kun said softly.

I will continue to find

A ghost of smile lingered on Kageyama’s lips as his ears are drowned by Hinata and some of his seniors’ overflowing joy as they took off from the team’s rented bus, each of them proudly wearing their raven black jacket, a mark that indicates they are a member of the volleyball team.

Flood of praises welcomed Kageyama the moment he stepped in on his classroom. His classmates proud and overjoyed as Kageyama, an official member of the volleyball club, recently won a match against another team, their ticket towards the nationals.

The meaning of love

“Kageyama-kun.”

Kageyama’s eyes wandered at the sea of crowd and it landed to where (L/N)-kun stood. (L/N) once again plastered a melancholic look. His eyes drowsy-looking as a small smile crept onto his lips.

“Your team won, right?” he mumbled as he walked his way towards the crowd, blending with his classmates. If it weren’t for Kageyama’s eyes that were stuck on him, he wouldn’t be able to notice him. But he did.

“Yes,” Kageyama said, eyes strained along with his brows. His lips in a line as he was trying to stop from smirking.

(L/N)-kun nodded, “Congratulations.”

And will be alone forever.