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typical-simplelove · 2 years ago

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Illicit Affairs (M. Tkachuk)

Summary: Based off of Taylor Swift's Illicit Affairs

Author's Note: This has been a thought on my mind for so long, so I'm glad I've finally been able to put it onto paper. I wrote this today in like two hours because I just couldn't stop thinking about it, so I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you think!

Warnings: implied!female reader; arranged marriages; affairs; loveless relationships; the FBI; alcohol; many Folklore references; quite angsty; not proofread

Word Count: 5.5k (including song lyrics)

Make sure nobody sees you leave Hood over your head, keep your eyes down Tell your friends you're out for a run You'll be flushed when you return Take the road less traveled by Tell yourself you can always stop What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots

Despite growing up in the glitz and glamour of the American Southeast’s socialite scene, it was never something you enjoyed. While the glitz and glamor and mirrorballs and champagne were fulfilling for moments at a time, you had to force yourself to try to enjoy it. You weren’t that old when you had the epiphany that you realized that you enjoy hanging out at home in your cardigan instead of trying to build up your family’s dynasty.

If there was one thing you did enjoy, however, was meeting so many different people. Your parents owned a large corporation with offices across the world (you couldn’t tell anyone what the company actually did) and had ownership in organizations across the world. It was interesting to see the different types of people and the traditions and how they lived their lives.

Because your parents were part owners of the Florida Panthers, they were invited to the hockey organization’s charity gala, and because your parents said yes to every invitation and used it as a networking event, your parents and you attended. It wasn’t any different than any other gala you’ve attended, but for some reason, you felt at peace. Normally, you opted to exile yourself to a corner and wait for your mother to introduce you to people, but this time, you wanted to do the mingling and networking.

It was half-past seven when your friend Betty introduced you to someone before running off for a secret rendezvous with her husband. You were always slightly jealous that she found the one for her who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with but someone her parents also approved of.

“Matthew Tkachuk,” he says, extending his hand. You place your hand in his as you say your name, and an electric shock goes through your body. You look into his eyes to see if he felt it, too, but when you look into his eyes, it feels as if an invisible string has attached itself between you two and is pulling you closer.

“Hi,” you whisper, your throat suddenly dry. Your mother would say you were acting like a mad woman; socialites don’t get tongue-tied.

“Hi,” he whispers back, his hand not leaving yours.

You both don’t say anything for many more seconds as you both struggle to find the words. What were you supposed to say to someone who basically felt like your soulmate?

Meeting Matthew felt like a beach day in the early days of August when the summer still felt like summer, and the impending year didn’t feel like it was fast approaching. Meeting Matthew felt like you were born anew. He was that missing piece.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to run to the restroom quickly,” you say instantly, dropping Matthew’s hand and running away. You didn’t know what else to do or say.

True to your words, you run to the bathroom and run your hands under cold water to cool your body temperature down. By the time you feel more put together, you exit the bathroom. It’s a surprise when you see Matthew standing across the hall.

He looks up, and his eyes light up like a Christmas tree when he sees you. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to spook you or anything. Betty just told me that I had to meet you, and that’s it.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” you say, taking a brave step closer to him. You’re looking at him intently, and within seconds, his hands are cupping your face, and your hands move to pull him closer to you by the lapels of your jacket. You’re kissing him within nanoseconds, and it feels like everything’s functioning the way it’s supposed to.

Matthew’s kissing you passionately and forcefully, as if he can’t get enough of you, but he’s also making sure to be gentle and careful. He doesn’t want this to be just one kiss. This kiss is supposed to lead to another kiss to another to a lifetime of kisses that aren’t supposed to ever end.

When you both finally pull apart, it’s too soon.

“I hope that was okay,” he breathes out, still trying to get oxygen into his lungs.

“It was more than okay,” you whisper, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. You reach into the inside pocket of Matthew’s suit jacket and pull out his phone. You turn it on and turn it to his face to ask for his passcode. When he tells you the numbers, you give him a curious look, shocked that he told you considering he’s only known you for an hour. It feels like he’s known you for eons, though.

“It’s my mom’s birthday,” Matthew blurts out. “That’s my passcode.”

You smile as you find his contacts app and add your phone number. “I have to get back to my duties, but don’t be a stranger, Matthew.”

With another small kiss on his cheek, you hand Matthew back his phone and head back to the ballroom. For the next couple of hours, you and Matthew don’t cross paths. It’s a few hours later when Matthew comes up to you as you’re talking with Ines.

“Matthew, this is Ines,” you say as they shake hands.

“I’ll be back,” Ines tells you with a wink.

When she walks away, you give Matthew a curious smile and look at him. Before you’re able to say anything, someone walks up and wraps their arms around your waist and kisses your forehead.

“Ah, Matthew, I see you’ve met my fiancee,” Theodore says.

Matthew’s eyes go wide as he looks at you. “Fiancee?”

“Yeah,” Theodore responds. “Our parents have been friends for our entire lives, so we’ve been in each other’s orbits for years, and we fell in love and here we are.”

So, that was the story you and Theodore were going with.

“I don’t see a ring,” Matthew says, his voice choppy.

“Yeah, I didn’t pick the right ring size, so it’s currently at the jeweler's getting resized.”

“Well, congratulations, if you’ll excuse me,” Matthew announces and walks away to a different group.

It’s closer to midnight when you feel your phone buzz. It’s from an unknown number, but you know it’s Matthew. He’s asking you to meet him on the roof. Looking around to make sure that none of your family is looking, you sneak out of the ballroom and head to the roof.

“You’re engaged?” Matthew asks, enraged when you walk up to where he’s standing. “I know I just met you, but I think that should be some information I should get before I kiss you in the hallway.”

“It’s a loveless engagement,” you quickly defend.

“And?”

“It’s an arranged marriage,” you add. “My parents and his parents are basically forcing us to marry each other so that their respective companies can do a clean merge. Because I don’t have anyone else asking me to marry them, I don’t have a choice.”

“So, what, am I just something you do right before you pledge yourself to Theodore?” Matthew internally vows to never say Theodore’s name or to ever hear it come out of your mouth.

“No,” you say. “I met you, and it was like everything fit into place. Everything made sense, and that’s it. I didn’t come here tonight planning to kiss anyone but Theodore.” Matthew sneers at the name. “But you mean to tell me that what you feel between us doesn’t exist? Are you telling me that this pull that is evidently there between us isn’t there?”

“I’m not saying that,” Matthew responds. “It just would have been nice to know that you were engaged before I kissed you.”

“Understood,” you let out slowly. “You have my phone number if you ever want to talk or anything.”

With that, you head back inside, and Matthew watches you walk away, not putting up a fight. It really didn’t matter if you were engaged or not. He had to have you in his life, and he was going to find a way for it to happen.

So, he called you. And he kept on calling you because he couldn’t stay away. Phone calls turned into meeting for coffee at coffee shops on the other side of town, away from anyone who might know you. Coffee meetings turned into coffee dates with kissing. Kissing on coffee dates turned into kissing in his apartment to the point where Matthew was falling for you.

He should have stopped, but he couldn’t. That pull between you was enough for Matthew to ignore all reason that was telling him this could only end badly.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings and longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

It wasn’t often that you managed to spend the night at Matthew’s, but Theodore was out of town for work, so you didn’t have anyone to have to pretend for you. Because he didn’t have any practices or games for the entire weekend, you got to Matthew’s late Friday night after the game and plan to stay until Sunday night where you’ll prepare for Theodore’s flight home early Monday morning.

You were up early on Sunday morning as you soaked in the warmth of Matthew’s ridiculously soft blankets and the warmth his body exuded. Not wanting to detach from his grasp, you get more comfortable in his hold, and in response, asleep Matthew pulls you closer to his body.

This. This is what you thought about when you were at your apartment sleeping in a cold bed next to Theodore. You dreamt about Matthew’s body being sturdy and stable right next to you. You dreamt about the smell of Matthew’s bed sheets, and you dreamt about the way his hair smelled when he took a shower right before going to bed. You dreamt about running your hands through his hair as he tried to stay awake and talk to you after a long day. You dreamt about his arms around you as he held you.

Most of these fantasies, however, lasted for a short amount of time before you had to force yourself to pull yourself from Matthew’s hold and bed and go home. There was only a reasonable time you could get home where Theodore didn’t ask questions (and you wouldn’t ask questions when he did the same). As of late, though, you’ve been pushing how late for a while. Every time you were cuddled into Matthew’s chest on his couch or in his bed, it took more and more out of you to escape his warmth and head home. His apartment exuded warmth, and when you went back to your apartment, it was as if you were stepping into a freezer. You tried to recreate that warmth, but the only way to do it was to have Matthew there. He was the warmth in your life and the only constant source of light.

You didn’t want to ever leave him, but unfortunately, life had demands, and you had to return to them.

“Are you awake?” Matthew murmurs, his voice and eyes groggy with sleep.

“Yeah,” you admit, tightening your hold on Matthew.

“I always try to wake up earlier because I know you’re up early, but I can never do it.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, but if I’m asleep, then it means we spend less time together, and I want to squeeze in as much time with you as possible,” Matthew answers, his heart racing. There were three words that he was heavily implying, but he wasn’t going to be the first one to say them. He couldn’t. Matthew couldn’t be the one to say them. Because of the extenuating circumstances of your relationship, Matthew is always careful to guard his heart. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing that ruins it or exposes you. Matthew couldn’t offer you much because he got to love you in the shadows, but if he could offer you anything, it was the promise he’d protect your reputation because that’s all you could offer him. By coming to his apartment every few nights, you were putting your reputation and honor at risk, and while to some it may not mean that much, Matthew knows it’s absolutely everything. You’re giving Matthew absolutely everything to be with him, and he can’t ruin that, mostly because he doesn’t want to lose you.

“Every moment we’re together, whether it be asleep or awake, means everything to me, Matthew,” you answer, a nervousness in your voice. “It doesn’t matter because I love you.”

Matthew’s breath hitches in his throat. He didn’t think you’d ever say it. Matthew got to love you, but he only got to love you from the comfort of his apartment.

He didn’t respond for quite a few seconds, and you instantly started to pull away. “I understand if it’s not the way you feel and if this is just a physical thing for you. I’m sorry if I made things awkward.” Matthew doesn’t register your words until you rip yourself from his embrace and climb out of his bed; you’re changing out of his sweats and t-shirt before Matthew realizes just what happened. He lurches from the bed and rushes over to you.

“I love you, of course, I love you,” Matthew tells you wholeheartedly. “There isn’t a part of me that doesn’t love.”

He really shouldn’t have told you. It was all in secret. Matthew wanted so much more to a relationship with you than you could give, and while he’ll take the clandestine meetings every few days when he wasn’t on the road, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. When you weren’t around, Matthew was a shell of himself; you were the light of his life and the one that kept all the colors shining bright in his life. But he loves you. Of course, he loves you. There isn’t a part of him that doesn’t love you.

The smile that overcomes your face is enough for Matthew to know he did the right thing. He chooses to push away any thoughts that you couldn’t give him the future he wanted and chooses to pretend that the minute you get into your car, you’re going to put your flashy engagement ring on. He chooses to pretend that he’s never going to be able to build a future with you.

“Don’t ever doubt that I don’t love you, okay?” Matthew continues. “There’s been this empty part of my heart that’s been throbbing for years to be filled, and I never knew what was supposed to fill that hole, and then I met you. Then, I kissed you. Then, I had you in my arm. That’s when I knew that you were that empty piece. You’re the one who fills that hole. I love you forever and ever, okay?”

“Okay” you murmur before connecting your lips with his. Oh, what he’d do to be able to kiss you in front of everyone he knows.

He only wishes he could tell you and everyone he knows that he loves you.

Leave the perfume on the shelf That you picked out just for him So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

More often than not, you initiated a meeting between you and Matthew. It worked better that way because it was easier to keep things a secret. You know that Matthew hated this system, but he knew how much was at stake for you if it was found out that you were having an affair. An affair was truly a kind word for it because you and Theodore were barely together. You two were engaged, but when it came down to it, all the relationship was a ring on your finger. You wouldn’t be surprised if he was having his own affair; you wouldn’t blame him.

When Matthew texted you saying he had to meet you immediately, you quickly brushed out an excuse, saying you were going for a run or maybe to the gym, and rushed into your car to get to Matthew’s. Your heart was racing as you thought about why he urgently needed to speak to you. Hopefully, nothing was the matter.

Once you reached Matthew’s apartment, you let yourself into his building, using the key he gave to you. Whenever you saw someone in movies aggressively push the elevator button, thinking it would arrive faster, you’d roll your eyes. That standard, however, was blown out the window as you kept pressing the elevator button. You had to get to Matthew’s side. It was impossible going the two or three days you don’t see him, but based on the nature of his text, it felt like something was off.

“Hey,” you breathe out by the time Matthew opens the door to his apartment. He roughly pulls you inside, anger fuming in his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“No, everything’s not okay,” Matthew yells before shooting you an apologetic look when he sees you flinch. “I’m sorry.”

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” you ask. Without saying anything, Matthew pushes the wedding invitation across his kitchen island in your direction. “Shit,” you mutter under your breath.

You hummed and hawed on sending this invitation to Matthew. Obviously, considering the nature of your feelings for him and the extent of your relationship, you weren’t sure if it was appropriate for him to be there or if he’d want to be there. You weren’t even sure if you wanted him there considering the man who you were marrying is not the man you love. Ultimately, though, you ended up inviting Matthew because your family’s company was a major part of the ownership of the Florida Panthers, and this wedding was more so for business than it was for any union of love.

“Matthew,” you whisper, gingerly holding the wedding invitations.

“Why did you send this to me?” He’s justifiably getting angry again.

“You and I both know I don’t have much control over the guest list,” you pivot. While that’s true, you were given the ability to veto any options you weren’t particularly fond of.

Matthew just glares at you. “Is that so? You mean to tell me that you have no control over what happens at this wedding?”

“I mean, maybe a little bit, but Matthew—”

“Do you really expect me to go to your wedding? Do you expect me to go to your wedding and watch you marry someone else? This prick?”

“No, but—”

“Do you really, truly expect me to go to a wedding and watch you marry someone else when you should be marrying me?”

You have no response to that. You’ve never thought about marrying Matthew only because it was never an option. Whatever you and Matthew was a way for you to escape and feel love. It was a way for you to fall in love and be happy when your life’s constraints didn’t allow for it.

“I knew from the start what being with you meant and what we could and couldn’t do,” Matthew admits. “I knew I’d never be able to tell my parents that I met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with because they’d want to me you and you won’t ever be able to meet them. I knew I’d never be able to bring a date home to my siblings’ weddings because you and I can’t be together romantically outside of these walls. I knew I’d never truly get all of what I’ve ever wanted for my future because of the nature of us and your life. I knew all this, and I never asked for anything I knew you couldn’t give me. I’ve given up so much to be with you—and I know you have to—but did you really think I could give up so, so much of my happiness and watch you marry someone else?”

“I don’t know,” you whisper. His words are a spear through your heart.

“We’ve never talked about what happens when you’re officially married. Was this going to continue after you got married and had kids with this guy, or are we over the minute you get onto your parents’ private plane and leave for your honeymoon?”

“I don’t know,” you repeat. You started this relationship with Matthew because he made you feel so great and so happy and so loved. It completed your life. Now, though, it was just about to shatter to pieces.

“Was there ever the option that you and I were going to be together outside of the shadows?” he asks, a deep vulnerability in his tone. “I used to pretend that maybe you’d be able to fight back and it’d be you and me, but I have to know, did you ever think about that, too?”

“I thought about it, but it was never going to be an option,” you admit. “I thought about it when I’d fall asleep next to Theodore.”

“Don’t say his name,” Matthew spits out.

“I thought about it all the time, but I knew it’d never happen, and I’m sorry about that.”

“I think you should leave,” Matthew finally says, wiping away tears.

“Matthew—”

“This was bound to end eventually, so I guess it’s now or never, right?”

While you couldn’t expect Matthew to love you in secret for the rest of your lives, you still wanted to ask. You couldn’t justifiably ask Matthew to sacrifice everything he’s ever wanted just so you could have moments of happiness, but you still wanted to. You still wanted to try even though somewhere down the line it wouldn’t work out. Someone would end up with their hearts being shattered to pieces.

“Thank you for making these past years of my life some of my best years,” you say, walking to the door. “I wouldn’t have gotten through it without you.”

Matthew watches the door close and doesn’t say anything. He just watched the love of his life walk out the door and out of his life, and he didn’t even bother to fight. He didn’t have it in himself to fight for you because as much as he wants to be with you for the rest of his life, he can’t take the secrecy of it anymore. He wants to shout from the rooftops how much he loves you. He wants to take you back to St. Louis; he wants you to meet his family, and he wants you to sit on the couch with his sister and brother and mom and look through the old baby albums that will embarrass him, but it won’t matter because it’s you. He wants to kiss you after a successful win, and he wants to land in your arms after a tough loss. He wants to buy a home in the suburbs with you and argue over which car should be parked in the garage. He wants everything with you, and the way he’s had you isn’t enough anymore. Matthew thought it’d be enough because he’d have you, but it’s not enough anymore.

His love for you isn’t enough to keep him staying.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings and stolen stares They show their truth one single time But they lie, and they lie, and they lie A million little times

He ended up RSVPing to the wedding. He knew he shouldn’t have said yes to going, but he knew he had to. Matthew knew (after talking to his mom) that he had to go. As much as he wanted to be the one standing at the head of the aisle as you walked down the aisle in a white dress, Matthew knows that will never happen. If he gets to see you in a white dress at least once in his life, then he’ll be content.

By the time Matthew got to the venue, the majority of the seats were taken, so he had to sit in an aisle seat. He, preferably, wanted to snag a seat somewhere in the middle back where you’d completely miss him. He didn’t want to ruin this day for you. Even though he knows you don’t want to marry Theodore (he fucking hates that name now), you still want the magic that a beautiful wedding will have. It’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, and while it might be the complete opposite, seeing your illicit lover in the crowd isn’t going to be what ruins the day for you.

When the Bridal March starts echoing through the venue, everyone gets to their feet and turns to face the aisle where you’re walking down the aisle. You’re on your own. You’re not being “given away” and you’re not being “offered” like this arranged marriage is signifying. Matthew can’t help but smile at the sentiment you walking down the aisle on your own represents.

He also can’t help smiling at how beautiful you look in your dress. In all his fantasies of you and him getting married, this was the type of dress he always imagined you wearing. As much as he wants to pretend that you picked it for him, he refrains from that thought. He also chooses to ignore the pain swimming through his veins as he realizes this will be the last time he’ll ever see you.

He’s watching you intently, and you haven’t noticed him. Your eyes go from the people sitting in the crowd to Theodore. As if sensing Matthew’s intense look, your eyes quickly scan set on his. Your smile immediately widens. For the first part of the aisle, before you saw Matthew, you were wearing your “delicate, socialite” smile that will look appealing in photos. When you see Matthew, however, your smile widens, and Matthew knows it’s a smile reserved for him only.

Based on the surprise on your face, you must not have known that Matthew said yes to attending. If that was the last surprise that Matthew ever gave you, then it was one damn good surprise.

Your eyes never leave his as you continue up the altar.

“I’m yours forever,” Matthew mouths to you, and based on how quickly your chest starts moving after he says it, Matthew knows you understood it clearly. That was a much better goodbye than six months ago at his apartment.

Your eyes only leave Matthew’s once you pass him and continue making your way up to Theodore. The next ten minutes fly by as Matthew plans his escape. He won’t be going to the reception. That would hurt way too much. It would hurt watching you have the first dance with Theodore when you should be dancing with Matthew. It would hurt watching you and Theodore kiss every time the guests clinked their glasses, and it would hurt watching you and Theodore get into the limo knowing that you’d be spending the rest of your life with Theodore.

The officiant is asking for the rings to be brought up when the door to the ballroom is kicked open.

“Everybody, freeze,” someone yells. When Matthew turns back, he can see the yellow FBI written across his jacket. The FBI team rushes up the aisle to Theodore with a few breaking formations to head to a few of Theodore’s buddies and groomsmen.

“Theodore Carmichael,” the head honcho begins. “You’re under arrest for fraud and insider trading. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to a lawyer. If you can’t afford one, then it will be appointed to you.”

After Theodore is rushed out of the ballroom, many important people at Theodore’s parents’ company and your parents’ company are arrested and ushered out of the ballroom. Everyone who isn’t arrested is standing in place, shocked. When you drop the ring that was supposed to go to Theodore, Matthew hears it hit the marble floor from where he’s standing, and that’s when everything comes to him. He instantly runs up the aisle to you. He rapidly blinks at you to make sure you’re okay.

“I had no idea,” you instantly blurt out, staring straight ahead in shock. “I mean, those are some people who I thought were good people, but then the FBI just arrested them, so now I have no idea about anything.”

“Hey, look at me,” Matthew says, tipping your chin with his thumb to glance at him. “If you don’t know anything, then you should know one thing. You’ll always have me.”

“My father just got arrested,” you whisper, your eyes staring deep into Matthew’s.

“Then my father can be your surrogate father,” Matthew instantly says. “I know he’ll love to be one.”

“Matthew—”

“Let’s go, sweetheart,” your mother interrupts, pulling at your wrist.

“I don’t think so,” Matthew says and pulls you away from the arch and out of the ballroom.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here?” you ask when you’re finally sitting in Matthew’s car.

“You look so beautiful,” Matthew responds, ignoring your question.

“Matthew,” you say, sternly. That voice could him to do anything you asked.

“I wanted us to have a better ending than the one in my apartment,” Matthew admits.

“Matthew,” you respond, your voice softening.

“Don’t, okay? It doesn’t matter. I’m glad I was here, okay? I’ll always be here whenever you need me, okay?”

You nod. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now. All I know is that I love you so much.”

Matthew’s heart lurches and warms. “All I know is that I love you so much, too, and we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

“Okay,” you reply, and Matthew starts the car. He exits the parking garage.

If someone were to tell you that you drove out of the parking garage on your wedding day in Matthew’s car instead of Theodore’s, you’d ask if the zombie apocalypse was planned to start once you left for your honeymoon. Now, though, that it’s a reality, you know that it’s only the ending you’d ever want.

And you wanna scream Don't call me "kid" Don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors You know I can't see with anyone else

Epilogue

Let's start with Theodore and your father and everyone else who got arrested. After a way too long trial where the investigators laid out all of the convincing evidence, Theodore and everyone else was each sentenced to 22 years in prison. They all wanted a plea deal, but the state's attorney opted against it and went for a trial-by-jury, and the jury declared them guilty (the State's Attorney was up for reelection and knew a jury trial would boost his ratings).

Your mother wanted you to take over the reins of the company, but you said no. You didn't want anything to do with it, but you also know it would lead to your mother trying to control your life more.

After the trial ended, you stopped speaking to your mother and everyone else in your life at the time.

You moved in with Matthew two hours after the failed wedding. The FBI was already cataloging everything in your apartment, so you went to his apartment and just never left.

Matthew and you fell back in love with each other. In public, this time. You didn't have to hide how much you loved each other, and you were able to hold his hand instead of just brushing his fingers. Everything fell into place, and it all made sense.

Keith very easily said yes to being your surrogate father, and the rest of Matthew's family didn't seem to mind the baggage your life came with, and they didn't seem to mind the extent of your relationship before.

Matthew proposed to you two years after the FBI raided your first wedding. A year later, you and Matthew got married in the Tkachuks' backyard with a small ceremony and reception filled with a few close friends and family. It was the wedding you've always imagined having.

The following fall, you and Matthew bought a house in the suburbs with a two-car garage, so you and Matthew argued over whose car would be parked closest to the door (Matthew never really put up a fight, though).

It was a life that you've always wanted to have, and while it took jumping through many hoops to have it, it was worth it. Matthew changed you in ways unimaginable, and it was unexplainable how excited you were for the rest of your life with him.

And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times

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#matthew tkachuk #claudia writes #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fic #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockey #op: 2022

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stardancerluv · 3 years ago

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Unlikely Delights

Part 7b

Summary: Trying to have a quiet night.

Notes: Strong consensual intimacy.

Dan was shaking inwardly, which he knew was silly. Before Frazier, intimacy was a warm bed with a stranger and a full bottle of his choosing with a second not far away.

When he had stepped off the bus, at first it would be a place for him to finally turn a leaf. He would finally become the man he should have been ages ago. After a small handful of relationships he had finally decided to take a break. They had all been nice but nobody felt right. When suddenly the two of you bumped into each other.

After finally jumping in with both feet, he enjoyed being with you. You were like a breath of fresh air. You were beautiful and fun. Your energy reminded him of the warm summer days when he lived in Florida with his mom. So now as he led you over to his overstuffed chair, he tried to keep his breathing even as your thoughts which were laced with intimacy astonished him.

As he sat down, he pulled you onto his lap. Gently, he drummed his fingers on your hip. As he looked at you, he could see your eyes were aflame. “Honey, what’s-” Your lips easily cut off his words.

He eagerly kissed you back. Squeezing your hip, a soft sound came from you which was as intoxicating as your fingers he felt in his hair.

He held you close as he felt your arms drape around him. He gently ran his hands up and down your back.

Easily, he lost himself into the kiss. He nuzzled you after breaking the kiss. Gently he pressed a kiss to the hollow of your throat, making you giggle. You wiggled and giggled where you sat.

He watched the radiance that came from you, making him smile even broader.

“How did I get so lucky?” He murmured.

Your cheeks which were already pink grew a deeper shade. “Helps that you are the handsomest person I could have ever ran into.”

Now he felt the heat rise in his cheeks. He inhaled when felt the naughty cross your thoughts. He pulled back with his shining so you could reveal your thoughts.

*****

You gently took ahold of your sweater and pulled it off, revealing the cami and the lack of a bra underneath. From lounging to sitting a little straighter, you placed your arms on either side of him. “Dan,” You sucked absently on your bottom lip. “My mind has been wandering about the two of us.” You leaned in. “I had a naughty thought.”

“Oh? Honey, what is that?” He let his hand drift under the cami. A soft sound pulled from him. “I do love your soft body.”

“Dan,” You flushed as you said his name. “I want…” Your mouth grew dry.

He slipped his other hand under your cami. Looking up at you, he met your eyes. “What do you want? You will have to tell me.” There was a twinkle in those blue eyes that made you shiver with delight.

“I want to make love to you here.”

He looked around before looking back up at you and he smirked. “Right here near my window?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

“What if someone looks up?”

“They won’t. It’s late.”

******

Your appetite was as strong as his. He loved it. He had felt you tremble when he mentioned someone seeing them. It aroused him further. His hand slipped from your cami only to glide up your thigh.

“Are you going to take these off for me?” He easily hooked a finger on your panties. Gently he tugged on them.

“Dan.” You rocked against him, his name came out deliciously across your lips. “Ok, I’ll get up.” He watched you, gently shifting. He was growing incredibly aroused. You quickly shimmied from your panties and went back over to him.

“You are nothing but surprises. No bra and now you are going to take me in my chair.” He gave you a look, he knew it did things to you.

“It’s all you, Dan.” You were growing breathless when you reached between them. Your hands working fast on his pants.

“Oh is it?” Reaching under your skirt, he cupped you. He closed his eyes as he gently squeezed. “I suppose I am responsible for this.”

You moved against his hand. “Yes, yes you did that to me.”

He smiled and withdrew his hand but then helped you with his pants. He took himself out. “But this is exactly what you do to me.” He glided your hand up and down the length of him, the sensation was so good he had to bite his bottom lip. He opened his eyes. “All right honey, ride me.” He urged.

*******

He eased out of bed, your hair was still ruffled from earlier. The memory made him smile. He bent over and placed a kiss on your shoulder before he pulled up the blanket.

Quickly he shed his t-shirt and boxers, put them in the hamper and then padded over to the sofa.

He shivered. It was freezing in the bathroom, that cold snap arrived days early. He grimaced, hate was reserved for that cold. He would never like it. It reminded him of running through that damn hedge.

He made sure the hot water was on a little stronger than usual. After attending to his needs, he then climbed into the tub and pulled the curtain to the other side.

Standing under it helped wake him up and prepare him for the coldness of his car that would barely warm as he drove to the hospice.

He soaped up his beard and hair, the fresh scent made the last of the sleep that had tried to cling onto him finally fade away. He raked his fingers through his hair as he rinsed out the shampoo.

The rings that held the curtain to the rod scraped against he each other. He smiled. “Come to wash my back?” His cheekiness bubbled from him, he just couldn’t resist.

“No Dan, we’re coming for your soul.”

The deep, scratchy voice made him snap his eyes open just as a pair of slimy hands grasped him and swung him around. His heart raced.

“We’ll be there soon.”

Then just as fast as it appeared it disappeared. Blinking, he saw a residue of black slime on the floor of the tub and he quickly looked at his arms but the hot water was already washing it off there.

He braced himself against the cool tiled wall. What was he going to do? He placed a hand over where his heart was racing. Then he remembered you. He managed to scramble out of the shower.

One of them was bracing themselves above you, a black sludgy hand leaned on his pillow and looked back at him. A wide smile was gapped from the sludge. “We’re coming for her too.”

“You get the fuck away from her!” He shouted with his mind. It shrieked and folded in on itself.

“You’ll see!” It managed and then it disappeared.

He wobbled where he was, letting himself kneel down onto the floor. Nausea churned hotly in his stomach.

“Dan? What are you doing? Are you ok?”

He barely heard you and he flinched when he felt your relatively cool touch as your arm went around him. He was breathing hard.

“Dan?”

Gulping down some hair, everything came back into focus. He squeezed his eyes shut. Something had to be done. Opening his eyes, he calmed and leaned towards you.

He looked at you sheepishly. “I… I… woke up too fast. You know.” He shrugged. “Empty stomach and such.”

“Oh, Dan. I knew we should have had that midnight snack. You pressed a kiss on his shoulder.

He weakly smiled, it reminded him of the kiss he gave you before he began to get ready. Looking just beyond you, he saw a slimy handprint on his pillow. It’s where that damn thing leaned as it got closer to you. A hard knot formed in his stomach.

@blondekel77 @thebeckyjolene @blackberries45 @sithonis @mrskenobi19 @hollow-r-us @shantellorraine @reiaux

#femi!reader #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor imagine #ewan mcgregor angst #ewan mcgregor fluff #dan torrance #dan torrance imagine #dan torrance angst #dan torrance fluff #dan torrance smut #dan torrance x you #dan torrance x y/n #dan torrance x reader #dr sleep #dr sleep imagine #dr sleep fanfiction #unlikely delights #part 7b

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wheresmynaya · 3 years ago

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Lost in the Lights Ch.18|Brittana

A/N - Just a little something that yall might find some comfort in today so I’ve written a short epilogue. I’m not usually one for fluff, but I figured we might need it. I’ve always considered writing as something I can do to uphold Naya’s legacy because Santana is apart of that legacy and here, she’s always living her best life.

Thinking of you all today 💙

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut!

Once again, Brittany finds herself standing alone in her bedroom surrounded by boxes. It’s a little weird seeing her room looking so bare, but this move doesn’t drudge up the same kind of mournful feelings the last one did. This time there’s excitement, there’s anticipation, there’s –

“Hey B,” Santana gives a little tap at Brittany’s bedroom door. “Need a hand?”

Brittany turns to find Santana giving her that same soft grin she has come to adore. She’s leaned against the door frame, clad in her jean cut-offs and a plain t-shirt, and Brittany’s never been so enamored.

“What?” Santana’s grin widens.

Brittany smirks, “Can’t I check out my hot girlfriend?”

Santana rolls her eyes although her cheeks flush, “Smooth as ever.”

“You know it,” Brittany winks before she goes to zip her suitcase. “You’ll be happy to know that I’ve finally finished packing my room. It’s been a super productive afternoon.”

Santana sputters out a laugh as she glances around Brittany’s bedroom. The walls are bare aside from a couple framed pictures Brittany couldn’t find it in herself to take down. The desk by the window is neat and tidy for once too, but what makes Santana stop are the two gold crowns hanging off of one of Brittany’s football trophies.

“Not taking these?”

Brittany turns to find Santana pulling one off and putting it on. She looks just as regal as she did on Prom night and it makes Brittany’s heart feel so full. She can’t help but reminisce at how beautiful Santana looked all done up – she really took her breath away that night.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” Brittany teases, “Too bad Quinn will be at Yale. I’m sure she’s going to miss the constant reminder that we won instead of her and Mike.”

“I can still text her,” Santana quips as she takes off the crown and sets it down where she found it. She goes back to looking around the room again, “It doesn’t look like you in here anymore.”

“Yeah,” Brittany sighs as she looks around too. Her eyes settle on Santana and she begins to grin, “But it’ll be so much fun decorating our own place together. It’ll look like the both of us.”

“True,” Santana grins, “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither!”

“I can’t believe how fast the year went by,” Santana mentions, “It feels like just yesterday that I was jumping off swings with you.”

“You mean head-butting me?” Brittany jokes.

“That too,” Santana laughs, “And now we’re off to college…together.”

“Not just yet,” Brittany reminds her with a pat to her suitcase.

“That’s right,” Santana nods to it, “That everything?

Brittany looks down and smiles, “Yup!”

Santana eyes the lone bag warily, “You’re only bringing one?”

“We’re only going for two weeks,” Brittany replies with a giggle, “You’d be surprised how much I fit in here. Bikinis don’t take up that much space which is a plus.”

She looks to Santana again hoping to see a smile but instead she finds her worrying her bottom lip. It makes Brittany chuckle as she closes the distance between them. Once she’s close enough, her hands land on Santana’s hips.

“Don’t stress,” She tells her sweetly, “That defeats the purpose of a vacation.”

“I’m not stressed,” Santana shrugs, “I’m just wondering…if I packed a little too much now?”

Brittany only giggles before pressing a kiss to Santana’s lips.

“You’re cute,” She says.

Santana only sighs through her smile, “Can you tell I’m a little nervous?”

“A little?”

Santana pouts, “This is my first big road trip. I didn’t want to forget anything.”

Brittany wraps her arms around Santana, holding her close, “I’m sure you’ve got everything and if not we can always buy stuff. You know Florida does have a mall, right?”

Santana was a little hesitant about joining the Pierce Family on their vacation back down to Florida for Summer break because she didn’t want to intrude on their family time, she’s so considerate like that. Brittany couldn’t imagine spending two whole weeks without her though, even Pete and Whitney begged for Santana to go.

Plus, it was the perfect opportunity to show her around Brittany’s old stomping grounds and most importantly, take her to one of her favorite places. With all of that taken into consideration, Santana couldn’t find it in her to deny Brittany this. She also didn’t mind getting out of Lima for the Summer, beats tanning by the pool alone.

“Babe, this is going to be great,” Brittany says earnestly, “It’s going to be relaxing and we’ll get to spend so much time together doing all kinds of fun things. It’ll be exactly what we need before we have to leave for Columbus, because you know once we get there it’ll be all work. I’ll have to start football training again and you’ll have cheer conditioning.”

“You’re right. Ohio State doesn’t mess around,” Santana nods as she begins smiling again, “This’ll be great. I’ve never been on vacation like this before.”

“Neither,” Brittany grins before grabbing her suitcase again. “Let’s go. We’ve got a lot of road to cover.”

Brittany and Santana decide to drive Santana’s car down to Florida ahead of Whitney and Pete who are catching a flight a couple days later. They take several pit stops along the way, making sure to snap silly photos by all of the state line signs so Santana can text them to Maribel and Hector to keep them updated on their adventure so far.

It probably takes them twice as long to make the trip, but it’s well worth it when Brittany gets to watch Santana’s eyes brighten as they finally cross the Florida state line.

“It’s so much different than Lima,” Santana says as she stares out the window at all the passing palm trees, their fronds waving hello in the warm breeze as they drive by.

Brittany only glances over with this cheek-bunching grin before she’s back to concentrating on the road ahead.

A while later, they pull up to the rental Whitney organized and this time Brittany’s the one who’s in awe.

“No way!” She exclaims as she triple checks the address her mom gave.

“What is it?” Santana questions.

“I used to point this house out all the time when we lived here,” Brittany tells her, “Pete and I called it the Unicorn House because of the pink shutters and the baby blue door. We always thought it was so cool, the most colorful house on the beach. I had no idea it was a rental!”

Santana smiles, “Well let’s go check it out.”

Relieved to stretch their legs and really start their vacation in the sun, Santana and Brittany make quick work of unloading the car and moving everything inside. Just like Brittany figured, the inside of the house was just as cool as the outside. All modern fixtures, colorful artwork decorating the walls, but the real attention-grabber was the view.

“Wow,” They said in unison as they approached the back sliding doors that led out onto the terrace. It was nothing but white sand and clear blue water.

“Let’s open it,” Brittany says and goes to pull open the glass door. There’s a light breeze and the scent of saltwater. Brittany smiles into it; she can’t believe how much she’s missed this.

Lima’s been great to her, it’s the place she met the most perfect girl ever, but this place will always hold a special spot in her heart too. As she glances to her side at her girlfriend, her smile grows because now she gets to share it with her too.

“What do you say we make a quick run to the shops so we can have breakfast out there?” Brittany suggest with a grin, “We can unpack and stuff later.”

“Sounds awesome,” Santana replies, “When’s your mom and Pete flying in again?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” Brittany says as she gives a little tug at Santana’s shirt, “We’ve got the whole place to ourselves until then.”

Santana’s grin widens, “Even better.”

They decide to load up on fresh fruit, because after so many hours of fast food and gas station snacks they are dying for something healthy. Together they walk the aisles hand in hand, stopping every so often to add something to the basket Brittany carries.

It’s not their first trip to the store together, but it feels different this time knowing that it’s just them. Everyone they know is back in Lima, so doing something like grocery shopping together in Florida makes them feel so grown up and independent.

For a second, Brittany wonders if this is what it’ll feel like once they move away together for college. She’s sure the novelty of it all is bound to wear off the more they do it, but for now she leans into the excitement of it. The thought makes her feel giddy inside because she can’t picture herself doing such a routine thing with anyone other than Santana.

“Should we get anything else?” Santana wonders after adding a punnet of blueberries to the basket.

Brittany looks at their haul so far and shakes her head, “Nah. We can just order take out later if we want?”

Santana nods and they make their way to the check out lane.

Back at the rental, Santana’s in the kitchen getting all of their fruits washed and cut up when Brittany reappears clad in her bright pink bikini.

“Okay! Your turn,” She calls out as she makes her way into the kitchen.

Santana does a quick glance up to reply then does a double take when she sees what Brittany has on. Her jaw drops at the sight and she nearly cuts off a finger!

“Woah,” Santana says in time as her eyes rake up Brittany’s tone figure, “I was not prepared.”

“Should I put on a shirt?” Brittany jokes.

“No, no,” Santana’s quick to respond, “No shirts. You can stay just like that.”

Brittany blushes as Santana continues checking her out. It makes her feel warm all over and a little confident too because usually Santana’s the one getting her worked up. It’s a nice change when the tables are turned.

“So, you want to go change and I’ll finish here?” Brittany asks.

Santana’s still staring as Brittany comes closer. She doesn’t even blink until Brittany’s tapping at the bottom of her chin with this smug grin on her face.

“Hmm?” She hums, “What?”

“Do you want to go change now?”

Santana smirks as she pulls Brittany in and pins her against the counter, “It’s not really the first thing on my mind right now.”

“Oh?” Brittany’s grin turns devilish.

Santana bites her bottom lip as she plays with the knot at Brittany’s hip. “The extra football training you’ve been doing is really paying off. Like I’ve always thought you were the hottest girl to ever walk the surface of the Earth, but damn.”

“Go change,” Brittany tells her with a giggle. “We’ll never get to the beach at this rate.”

“Fine by me,” Santana teases as she wraps her arms around Brittany’s waist and starts littering her neck with soft kisses. “Like so fine by me.”

Brittany struggles because having Santana’s lips on her is always kind of like kryptonite, but her desire to experience Santana’s first trip to the beach outweighs spending the rest of the morning wrapped up in bedsheets. Call her crazy, but they’ve got all day to mess around meanwhile the sun’s only out for so long.

“Baby, as good as this feels,” Brittany sighs as she pulls away. She stares down at Santana lovingly, “I really want to take you to the beach first. Just you and me.”

Santana cutely pouts and it has Brittany giggling.

“Come on,” She says with a little pinch at Santana’s side, “I think it’ll be worth it.”

“I think it opens up lots of opportunities to be a tease,” Santana complains jokingly.

“Good thing we won’t be far from here then,” Brittany winks in return.

Once Santana finally got changed, she met Brittany back in the kitchen where the blonde had packed a bag with their breakfast and a couple bottles of water along with their beach towels. Brittany had her sunglasses sitting atop her head, her long blonde hair free from its messy bun from earlier.

“Ready?” She asked excitedly.

Santana only grinned as she reached for Brittany’s hand to hold and together they made their way down the wooden terrace steps until their bare feet met warm sand. Brittany was already headed for the coastline, but Santana stopping held her back. She turned, wondering if Santana forgot something, when she realized it wasn’t that at all.

Santana never felt the feeling of sand between her toes before.

A smile formed on Brittany’s face as she watched Santana wiggle her toes. It was only for a moment, a little excited squeak of a giggle escaping the brunette before she looked up again – ready to go. Brittany only wrapped her arm around Santana’s shoulders, kissing the top of her head as they started to walk again.

Picking the perfect spot was always something Brittany took pretty seriously, but on this section of the beach – any spot was perfect. They were just far enough away from the popular areas so it wasn’t too crowded where they were.

“I’ve never seen water so blue,” Santana admires as she stares at the crashing waves. “Beats the lake in Lima.”

“Definitely,” Brittany chuckles.

They end up laying out their blanket a few yards away from the water so they don’t have to walk very far to get in. While Santana smooths out the blanket, Brittany sets down their bag and starts to pull out their towels and breakfast.

Together, they sit side by side and share from one bowl Santana found in the kitchen. It’s a mix of all the fruit they picked up earlier and with their feet in the sand and the sound of the waves and seagulls in the distance they’ve never felt so at peace.

“Is it true that you have to wait thirty minutes after eating before you can swim?” Brittany wonders aloud. She’s resting back on her elbows, her legs outstretched but she’s still too far away to touch the water.

Santana shrugs, “I have no idea. Probably should though just to be safe.”

“True,” Brittany grins as Santana lies back too.

She’s already starting to tan and Brittany can’t take her eyes off of her. It’s almost like this is too good to be true and she finds herself reaching out to touch just to make sure.

Once their thirty minutes are up, Brittany’s on her feet trying to coax Santana into the water but who knew she’d put up such a fight?

“We didn’t come all this way to just sit in the sand,” Brittany teases as she tugs on Santana’s hand, “Come on.”

“That water is about to be cold as hell. No thank you!”

“Hell isn’t cold, Santana.”

“You know what I mean,” Santana then gets up when she finally breaks out of Brittany’s hold, “Now way I’m getting in.”

“But it’s not even cold,” Brittany replies although she’s not really sure since she hasn’t tested it for herself. “Why are you picking right now to play hard to get?”

“You haven’t seen nothing yet!” Santana jokes before taking off.

Brittany laughs the whole time as Santana ducks and dodges her advances until Brittany’s speed finally does her in. Soon she’s got Santana cradled in her arms bridal-style, carrying her towards the water like she weighs nothing.

“Britt! Brittany! Don’t you dare!” Santana chastises between laughs, “I don’t want to get my hair wet!”

Brittany only stomps her way through the water, “Who goes to the beach and doesn’t want to get their hair wet? That’s silly, San!”

“Me, that’s who!” Santana giggles but she stops putting up a fight and just wraps her arms around Brittany’s shoulders.

Their faces are so close with the way Brittany holds her that their noses brush when the blonde suddenly looks to her. Really, she’s checking if Santana’s actually being serious because if so then she’ll happily take her back to shore but if not it’s fair game. Instead though, she gets sidetracked by the brilliant smile she wears and how beautiful she looks with her hair down.

“I won’t get you wet if that’s really what you want,” Brittany says innocently but there’s a mischievous glint in her eye too.

She’s standing still waist-deep in the water and Santana’s butt is barely touching the surface. Brittany does her best to hop so that the incoming waves don’t splash her which is pretty nice of her with all things considered. She could totally be that person and drop her without a second thought.

“Well, when you say it like that…” Santana starts to smirk.

Brittany lets out a laugh before she leans in for a kiss.

It was meant to be a distraction, but it ended up way steamier than she intended as she slowly sank to her knee so that they both dipped below the surface. She could feel Santana’s teeth sink into her bottom lip from the initial shock of the water temperature but then it was soothed by her tongue gliding over the nip.

“See?” Brittany teases, “Not that cold.”

Santana only rolls her eyes as Brittany adjusts her hold. She goes from cradling Santana to having her straddle her lap instead. It’s a much riskier position than before, but neither of them complain.

As they get acclimated to the water, they slowly move from kissing to playfully splashing at each other as they wade around. They go back and forth like that for awhile until they move back to the shore to get their tan on.

“I’m having slight regrets that we’ll be going to school in Ohio,” Santana mentions awhile later as they lie on their stomachs, “Must be nice living close to a beach.”

Brittany grins, “So you’re liking your first trip then?”

“Baby, I love it,” Santana replies happily and leans over to kiss her cheek, “And I love you.”

“I love you too,” Brittany coos before she gets to thinking, “If you love it that much we can always transfer down here? I’m pretty sure there’s a few schools here that would love to poach me. You too.”

“So tempting,” Santana chuckles.

They lie like that for awhile longer before the sun gets to be a little much and they head back to the rental.

It’s one of Brittany’s favorite feelings, that tiredness after spending the day at the beach, and she coaxes Santana into the shower with her to get rid of all the sand and saltwater. Despite finally getting each other this close without any barriers between them, they’re both too tired to actually make any moves.

Instead, they take turns standing underneath the cool water and washing off any residual sand.

Afterwards, they slip into something loose and tumble into bed with a yawn. They don’t even bother getting under the sheets first, their sun-kissed skin still warm from the shower. The just cuddle up to one another and doze off within minutes.

Hours later, Brittany awakes to Santana tracing her finger along the bridge of her nose. She blinks away the last bit of sleepiness and looks around the room, surprised to see it drenched in hues of orange and gold from the setting sun.

“I think you might’ve gotten sunburnt,” Santana mentions softly, “Your cheeks are a little pink.”

Brittany touches them bashfully, “Yeah. They do that after I’m out too long. Doesn’t hurt though, I put on sunscreen before.”

“Okay,” Santana smiles as her hand moves to rest on Brittany’s hip.

The blonde looks to the window, “What time is it?”

“Almost eight.”

“Shit,” Brittany curses, “I didn’t meant to sleep for that long.”

“It’s okay. You were tired,” Santana replies as she starts circling Brittany’s hipbone, “Hungry?”

There’s a familiar rasp in Santana’s voice and it has Brittany leaning in ever so slightly. She knows that tone, she’s been quite familiar with it since the night she won a championship title with the Titans. It’s come to be a favorite of hers.

“Starving,” Brittany smirks.

Santana bites her lip, “Good.”

“We can order a pizza,” Brittany husks as she slips her thigh between Santana’s, “I know just the place. They’re notorious for taking way too long but the pizza manages to always be hot still.”

“Perfect,” Santana smirks before she’s closing the distance.

The next day, they have a bit of a sleep in due to their…activities carrying on pretty late into the night. Free house to themselves? Of course they couldn’t pass up the opportunity, but they’re well-rested and get up to do a tidy of the house before going to pick up Pete and Whitney from the airport.

Again, Brittany feels that same feeling from the day before when she and Santana were out shopping for breakfast. She can’t help but notice how easy it is for them to fall into such a domestic routine. It makes her feel so grown up, like it was just a couple weeks ago that she was graduating and sure she’s always been pretty independent but it’s different with Santana by her side.

When they get to the airport, they’re only waiting for a little while before Pete’s excitedly waving at them with Whitney trailing behind him. There’s hugs all around when they finally meet before they make their way to baggage claim.

“Did you have fun on the plane ride over?” Santana asks Pete.

“It was okay,” Pete shrugs, “Kind of bumpy but mom let me play games on her phone.”

“Nice,” Santana grins.

“Yup! Did you have fun driving here? Wait, did you guys go to the beach already?” Pete asks as he looks to his sister, “Britt’s cheeks are pink.”

Brittany’s eyes widen, “Uh…”

“We might’ve gone for a little bit,” Santana admits and watches Pete start to frown. He was pretty adamant about them waiting for him but Santana’s quick to recover, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t go again today! You’ll have to check with your mom first.”

Pete’s face fills with a mega-watt smile, so similar to Brittany’s it’s crazy.

“She’ll totally say yes,” He tells Santana, “Mom loves the beach too!”

“Sweet,” Santana grins.

“Alright, we just need to pick up the rental car and we’re out of here,” Whitney says as Brittany follows behind with Pete’s little suitcase.

“You didn’t have to rent a car,” Santana tells her, “I told you I was okay with sharing mine.”

“You’re too kind, honey,” Whitney smiles, “But I’m sure you girls will want to explore the area too.”

Santana just nods as Brittany comes up beside her, their fingers twining so casually.

“Speaking of rentals,” Brittany mentions, “I can’t believe you got the Unicorn House! It’s so cool.”

“We’re staying at the Unicorn House?” Pete asks eagerly. Brittany nods to him and he just about combusts, “No way! That’s the coolest house on the beach!”

“Totally,” Brittany winks, “It’s even cooler inside. Just you wait and see.”

They all head to the rental house and it takes everyone no time at all before they’re making their way out to the beach. Everyone except Whitney who runs to the store for snacks and something to eat for dinner because apparently they can’t have pizza two nights in a row despite Brittany and Pete’s protesting.

Again, it’s nice to just lounge in the sun and cool off in the water whenever they want. Pete’s here too while Whitney’s at the store and Santana watches adoringly as he and Brittany toss their favorite football back and forth.

“Babe! Come play with us,” Brittany calls out to her as she tosses the football to Pete in a perfect spiral.

“Yeah! Come play, Santana!” Pete chimes in.

“I’m fine getting my tan on from here,” Santana answers then starts to smirk at Brittany. The way her muscles tense whenever she throws the ball or how her arms flex, it leaves Santana’s mouth dry, “The view’s not so bad either.”

Brittany lets out a laugh as she readies for Pete to throw the ball back. She’d have to agree about the view though, hers isn’t so bad too with Santana laid out in her maroon bikini on their beach blanket, skin glistening with sweat. She swallows dryly as her thoughts start to wander to the night before.

“Britt!” Pete shouts, “Look out!”

Brittany looks up and catches the football just in time before she’s thumped in the head with it. Good thing her reflexes are as sharp as ever!

“Careful baby,” Santana smirks before she’s rolling onto her stomach to even out her tan.

Brittany only narrows her eyes playfully before she’s throwing another perfect spiral in Pete’s direction.

Once Whitney joins them, Pete goes from playing with Brittany to splashing in the shallow water with their mom. Brittany sits alongside Santana where they both share a bag of chips and watch Pete’s splashes get bigger and bigger.

“You’re so cute with him,” Santana mentions.

Brittany raises her brow, “Speak for yourself.”

Santana lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Right.”

“You are,” Brittany urges with a bump to Santana’s shoulder, “He loves spending time with you. Not as much as I do, of course.”

“Of course.”

“You ever wish you had a younger sibling?” Brittany wonders.

“God, no. Never,” Santana jokes before softening, “But seeing you two kind of makes me second guess it. Then again, Pete’s cool so you’re lucky.”

“True,” Brittany giggles. There’s another pause before Brittany speaks up again in a softer tone, “Thanks for coming out on this trip with us. I know you were a little iffy at first, but it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” Santana replies with this smitten little grin on her face. “We should totally make this an annual thing.”

“Coming back here?”

“Yeah,” Santana nods, “It’s like our reset button. No matter how busy or crazy it gets wherever we are, we can always come back here and just – reset. It would be nice.”

Brittany starts to smile. Santana mentioning doing something every year means she anticipates them being together for a really long time which duh but making plans like that in advance makes it all feel a little more real. She always thought her strong feelings might’ve been a little exaggerated since they’re young and love always feels so all-encompassing, but then Santana goes and says something like that.

This love, it’s bigger than she thought. Maybe it’s even one of those forever kinds of love and that kind of thinking makes Brittany happier than ever.

“We can totally do that,” Brittany agrees before she leans in for a chaste kiss. She can feel Santana smiling too against her lips and she’s never felt more complete.

Whatever this upcoming year plans to throw their way, whether it be on the field or in the classroom or even at home, Brittany’s totally ready for it.

Because together, well…anything is still possible.

#Lost in the Lights #LITL #Brittana #Brittana fanfiction #fanfics

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nosebleedclub · 4 years ago

Text

The Dark Suburb

((Posting again because the original post on June 11th, 2017 6:09pm is no longer available due to me deleting and re-making this blog.))

This is a compilation post of Nosebleed Club prompts from 2015-16 revolving around the concept of “the dark suburb.”

Family Melodrama

something is wearing your mother

oh god his intestines strung up on the christmas tree

your dog’s body all over the house

banging on cellar doors

a creaking sound in your dead sister’s bedroom

warriors with spears and shields painted on the dining room ceiling of a violent family’s mansion

a woman in an expensive coat and an expensive car headed to her nephew’s funeral

coming home to a completely alien mother

getting a doberman on christmas morning that won’t let you leave the house

the reason your parents fled the city to live in the suburbs

summers in palermo where your father was looking for something

mother’s breakdown in the supermarket

the supernatural car you and your twin got for your 16th birthday

parents strangely and deeply interested in the boyfriend you brought home

a mom urging her son to quit basketball; she senses something is not right

all the holes - dozens of them - your mother dug in your backyard

grandparents hiding the reason your parents are away during your winter holiday break

your best friend doesn’t want to go to your house anymore

grandpa’s ghost followed us into the new house

dad hates her bc she killed her twin in the womb and then her mother

Do I Love You?

your boyfriend’s basketball shorts, his boy-aroma, his ghost between your legs when you watch the video of his last game

girls kissing in a gas station convenience store and a third recording them on snapchat

the boy you like drawing flowers on your ap biology practice test when you switch tests with him to grade

walking across a supermarket parking lot by yourself thinking of a boy you love

red mouth

girlfriend scrubbing the blood off her arms in the bathtub

in a tiny white house in florida, sitting on a beer-can-covered counter, legs spread apart, a boy between them

in a drug-induced haze i left home for his semi truck

he never fucked me without his ski mask on

a girl and a girl and claw marks on the door“don’t ever take me back”

The Occult

the incantation that annihilated a whole suburb

a body that drags other bodies into an oven

the witches gathering in the red lake

inhuman sacrifice

dogs gathered at the edge of town refusing to cross the boundary to the outside

a 10 year old girl with memories of a serial killing spree that occurred when her parents were children

white shirts hanging on branches all over the woods

the town of three-eyed children

arrows raining down on a soccer field

feeding time

mysterious scratch marks on your back

a fairy ring in the field where your sister disappeared

Crimes

just throw it in the back

snap!

we found the body but not the head

clearing in the forest where police found a blessed severed head

jar of baby teeth as evidence

children dressed as angels at the crime scene

seeing a face you thought you buried ten years ago at the supermarket

half a fraternity frozen under a lake

fbi agents rolling into a tiny town in appalachia

a severed arm among the hydrangeas

young men howling on the bridge one year after the murder

police cars prowling through your neighborhood, one after another - watching this from your bedroom window

Teen Dream

getting whipped by a towel in the locker room

best friend making the varsity tennis team

taking a shot of vodka in the bathroom after second period

boy gets a boner during gym class

“i’ll be like helicase i’ll unzip them genes (jeans)”

drunkenly reciting the quadratic equation

fear-mongering homecoming queen

track star died in a car accident

dead bodies photography club

“sorry i fucked up here’s some ice cream” “i’m lactose intolerant you douche”

article about demonic possession in the school newspaper

last pool party before summer ends & her hand on your thigh in your dad’s sports car

the first day back from summer vacation & someone in your friend group brings the whole #squad starbucks

a bonfire, lana del rey & drake blasting, the moon

weekend road trips to the ocean

walking around on the track alone, contemplating some philosophical concept you read about on tumblr the night before

coming out to someone completely random - a junior varsity basketball player

the last homecoming dance

lying on the track at your high school after sunset

getting picked up really early in the morning to go on a spontaneous weekend road trip

the sunday after the homecoming dance where you’re kinda tired kinda still energetic from the night before

inside a fast food restaurant drinking milkshakes eating fries until it closes

chill basement party where there’s white balloons gold confetti / glitter two girls who love each other kissing

sitting in the backseat your parents occupying the front of the car you look out the window you see the rural countryside crawl by

pool pizza party at night simple pleasures like that

on the bleachers during a powderpuff football game

sweating so much you might as well have been swimming it would be embarrassing but all the other boys are sweaty too

lost in the suburbs at like 5am and the world is still pale blue

lost in the city at 5pm the sun sinks its head behind skyscrapers

fights on the lawn of an all boys private school

applying makeup the morning after a breakup

huge friend group made up of oracles + boys’ swim team + legendary heroes + valedictorian

aesthetic blogging on a sunday afternoon just chillin in your bedroom

feeling like you could be something big if you work hard enough at it

getting psychoanalyzed by your teachers and parents and extended family

school bathroom pale blue tiles

a dream with damien hirst-esque elements

sleepover at your friend’s villa and you’re the only one awake

looking out at a black sea from your dead cousin’s bedroom window, seeing a light in the distance

funeral mass

chill that runs down your friends’ spines when you enter the classroom the morning after they tried to kill you

the sickness that spreads through the high school

sometimes i was a body in a dump sometimes i was a saint

he said he’d snapchat my burning body to all his friends

my body was evidence she was trying to get rid of

poison disguised as an eighteen year old

a world war between us

$$$

first: “super rich kids” by frank ocean

fast cars flecked with blood

girls who know you won’t be prosecuted if you’re young and rich and pretty enough

snapchat of a boy with red eyes and a glass of dom perignon with the text IS MY LIFE FUCKING REAL

snapchat of a girl’s dad’s black amex with the words MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS BUT IT GETS CLOSE

taking your middle-class friends out to nice restaurants but knowing they’re with you mainly for the money

“dude i know you’re only a year older than me but sometimes i think of you as my sugar daddy”

traveling to punta del este to find yourself but losing yourself instead

identifying heavily with the versace logo

an imperial bedroom and all one feels is the weight of all that empty space

“even my funeral has to be luxurious”

Hometown Visions

three dead owls on the side of the road

trees bare, houses barren

lanterns lit up on the dirt road at night

moths in a forgotten shed

a dusty old attic filled with dead rats and flies

seeing half your face in a splintered mirror. washing machine making dangerous sounds

midwest: watching a tornado funnel form from a window that won’t shut all the way

grass in the yard growing tall

girls carrying stray cats home

a cellar door swinging open and a man you never wanted to see ever again stepping through it, into the light

snake skins and insect carapaces organized on a torn mattress

a lovely place god abandoned

bat-filled house at the end of the street

a girl crawling out of a burning car

birds in jars

Hide & Seek

not being able to find anyone in a dark forest because they actually left you and it was just a cruel prank

person seeking you is something much worse than what you thought they were

being trapped in your hiding space & no one can find you no matter how loud you call for help

hiding in your friend’s house and finding evidence of a vile crime their parents committed

finding half of your friend

#prompts #nosebleedclub #from the nosebleedclub archive #dark suburb

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novelconcepts · 4 years ago

Note

I'm up way too late but may I submit two brief proposals vis-á-vis the postcards(?) on Jamie and Dani's fridge: 1) Once they've settled into ife in Vermont, they go through a phase where they decide they're going to see as much of the USA as they can (while they still can) and the postcards are the result of that adventure. 2) For a while, Miles and Flora send them postcards somewhat regularly, and they always go straight on the fridge. Eventually, the cards stop coming, but the old ones stay up

For the first few months, Dani can’t sit still. It’s the strangest damn thing, because she’s never been that kind of person. Dani is patient. Dani is patient to a fault, even. She can sit for an hour or more, waiting for a child’s stubborn facade to crack away and let her in. She’s trained herself to draw up lesson plans at night over a glass of wine, moving through the subjects with comfortable ease. She’s lost hours staring into the fire, mulling over old mistakes and older fears. Dani is genuinely good at sitting still, thinking things out, making a decision only when the pot has boiled over at last.

But these days, after leaving Bly, it’s like that pot never runs dry. It’s just burbling there on an indefinite loop, and no matter how she tries to calm it, she always seems to turn around to find boiling water splashing around her feet. Sooner or later, she thinks, it’s going to burn her.

It’s better, she finds quickly, if she’s in motion. If her brain isn’t so occupied with that inward gaze that has done her such harm over the years, if she won’t let herself just lay on her back and stare at a dark ceiling, searching for patterns that Jamie insists, insists are not there, it doesn’t feel so...so...

So much like being watched.

She moves. She moves, and Jamie moves with her. Jamie has gotten so good so fast at reading her moods: at looking up over a morning cup of tea and seeing something behind Dani’s eyes that wasn’t there last night. She’s afraid to ask what that something might be, but Jamie only ever raises her eyebrows, raises her cup in a salute, and says, “Where to, then, Poppins?”

Jamie, as always, giving her permission. So, they move. From England to Vermont, for starters, and it’s so much more than Dani remembered America being. Bigger. Colder. She feels like she’s always looking over her shoulder, and maybe that isn’t so new. Maybe that’s why she came out to Bly in the first place. But now, now it’s different. Now she peeks into reflections with the hopeful terror of a child who almost wants to catch a glimpse of the monster beneath the bed, because at least seeing it would mean the damn thing is there. Waiting. Watching. Breathing down the back of her neck like the soft brush of otherworldly fingers, ready to clamp tight.

They hit Vermont, and Jamie doesn’t seem to mind that Dani sometimes leaps out of bed at sunrise and spends the next eighteen hours doing laps around their life. The grocery store. The bank. The apartment. She pings from one to the next like an out-of-control meteor on its way to an extinction event, and Jamie just watches. Just raises her eyebrows. Lays a hand gently around her wrist. Says, “All right, there, Poppins?”

And, no. No, it isn’t all right. But it’s better. Better than sitting alone in a room in that big, sprawling house where the walls are lined with memories of Hannah’s smile and Owen’s terrible sense of humor and those perfect, glorious, sad children she loves so much, even now.

They’re in Vermont for a month when the itch gets too big to sit on any longer. When she physically can’t calm herself with the now-familiar route of errand and takeout pizza and trying to figure out how adults put together a home they actually want to live in. One night, with rain playing havoc on the apartment windows, with gusts slamming the panes so hard, she thinks they might shatter, she turns her eyes to Jamie.

“Texas?”

It’s a million miles away from their home, which is growing rapidly warm and cozy and green under their care, and she thinks Jamie’s going to say something. About how maybe they could just start small. Maybe they could just take it easy. But Jamie just takes her hand, raises it to her lips, presses a kiss to the smooth skin just below her palm.

“Texas, then. Why not?”

Texas is huge and rambling and a kind of wicked dry-hot England has never so much as joked about, and they spend a week just...walking. Poking into dive bars, where Jamie proves herself unaccountably good at pool, and little cafes, where Dani makes weak jokes about strong coffee. Holding hands under the table in restaurants mostly laid bare by late evening. Jamie smiles at her, and Dani feels the thing inside curl up a little tighter. Sink a little lower in her chest.

The states spiral out like a summer sky after that, one after another. In Louisiana, they fall into good food and better music, dancing beneath the stars until Jamie is spinning her so fast, their laughter rings breathless through the night air. In Georgia, they pick fresh fruit and explore bookstores that smell like childhood ought to, and Jamie presses her into a kiss so warm and inviting that Dani almost forgets time exists outside of their lips. In Illinois, they explore a big city; in New York, a bigger one. The world sprawls, rolls, lands with all the care of heaped-up leaves on an October morning, and Dani lets herself fall. Into Michigan’s northern beauty, into California’s almost too-hip chatter, into the history of Washington and the quiet of Montana. Everywhere they go, the world feels a little more solid beneath her feet. Everywhere they go, Jamie’s hand is so steady in her own.

They’re laying together in a hotel room in Boston when Jamie presses her to the bed and buries her face in her neck and Dani, for the first time in months, actually forgets. The world vibrates to a standstill around them, the music of other bodies through the walls fading to a distant tempo, and Jamie’s hands are confident, and Jamie’s kiss is searing, and Dani hasn’t felt this solid since--since--

She gasps, and for a minute, cold fear grips her from the inside: that Jamie’s going to raise her eyes and see that terrified girl again, the one who couldn’t be touched for longer than a second without doubling back on her own guilt. Maybe she’s still that girl, she thinks. Maybe she’s still back there, in some way, folding around her own secrets so tight, it’s astonishing she never shattered like one of her mother’s porcelain dolls.

And then Jamie is raising her head, looking her in the eyes, and she’s smiling. The same smile from the night she first laid all the cards out on the table, inviting Dani to hold her, inviting Dani to know her for real. The world swims, and Dani wraps her arms around Jamie’s neck, and there is nothing watching this time. Nothing lurking. Nothing dark, or hungry, or wild. The desperation is the right kind, her own kind, the kind she and Jamie make together in these moments that never seem to last long enough. She exhales, and she feels like Dani Clayton in every atom.

The postcards are Jamie’s idea. The steadiness so often is, Dani will note in later years, Jamie’s idea. Maybe because Jamie didn’t know what steadiness felt like until she was in her twenties. Maybe because Jamie is still waiting for it to skid out from under her boots. One day, in a little Midwestern town Dani’s already forgotten the name of, Jamie says, “We should send them a card.”

She doesn’t have to explain who. They both know how much they miss those kids. Both can feel it in the empty spaces at the table where there should be creaking chairs, shrieking sugar-laughter, the soft chuckle of adults learning how to laugh again at a child’s jokes. Jamie reaches out to a counter display, plucks a card plastered with a mountain so majestic, it might as well be made-up. She hands it and a pen to Dani, and nods.

“They’ll like it.”

And they do. The postcard, and so many like it, go out--and, when they find their way back home at last, when Dani feels as though the adrenaline has cooled enough to let her breathe, to let the world rest like it did in that room back in Boston, the cards come back in. Fresh ones, painted with Disney characters and cherry blossoms and silly phrases about wishing they were there. Flora’s handwriting is getting better; Miles’, somehow, worse. They tack each one on the fridge as they come, leaning against the kitchen counter, remembering how it felt to breathe the air in Oregon, how the ocean licked around their ankles in Florida.

The memories help. They’re grounding, somehow. To look at these tiny cards, the edges turning up from the handling of small fingers, and say, We did this. This was real. We were real there, and so are they.

It makes her feel a little less like vibrating out of her skin with every card on that fridge. With every afternoon helping Jamie arrange flowers at the shop. With every evening bottle of wine, every stolen cigarette in bed, every shower Jamie pretends to be grumpy about her sliding into, the world resolves itself into a little more clarity. We’re doing this. This is real. We are here, even if they’re not.

Slowly, slowly, as paper months burn and reveal bound-up yearbooks in their place, Dani finds she’s breathing through the panic. That the panic is, in fact, coming less and less frequently. That she’s sleeping through the night, turned toward Jamie always, the beam of light in the darkness she never has to question. The shop is flourishing. The apartment shows no sign of monsters in its corners. She’s thinking of Christmas again, but this time, the word she lands on isn’t if.

The postcards are slowing. More and more of them turn up, when they turn up at all, in the neat, fidgety hand of Henry Wingrave. The words have far less heart, far more reality behind them. The kids are doing fine, just fine. They’re settling out quite nicely in California. You really should visit someday, you’d be quite welcome.

She holds this invitation, elbows propped on the counter, and sighs. Jamie, who has been performing her nightly ritual of burning whatever she happens to put on the stove and inventing swear words so righteous, Dani can’t help but laugh, glances over her shoulder.

“Something wrong?”

“They’re growing up,” Dani says, and there’s a tightness in her voice she doesn’t expect. A sharp needle behind her eyes. She raises a hand, drags her fingers across her face before the tears can fall and spoil the blue ink on the card.

Arms slide around her waist, Jamie coming to rest against her body with all the familiarity of falling asleep. Her lips press to the thin cotton of Dani’s shirt, warm, understanding.

“I hear that’s the idea. Of kids and all.”

She knows. Of course she knows. And what’s the alternative, but something built of horror and trauma? They’re growing up, and they’re growing up happy, and that’s...incredible, really. After all of it.

“Hey.” Jamie tilts her body until Dani tilts with her, coming away from the counter enough for Jamie to close the distance. Her hands are soft on the back of Dani’s head. So steady. So present. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh no,” Dani says, unable to help herself. Jamie’s brow wrinkles, her tongue poking out, and Dani kisses her before the joke has time to sting.

“Serious, Poppins. This is serious.”

“Right. Sorry.” She arranges her own face in a parody of solemn contemplation. Jamie rolls her eyes. “No, go ahead. I’m listening.”

She slides her hands under the flannel of Jamie’s shirt, letting her fingers splay across Jamie’s ribs. She’s always liked this, right here, the sense that Jamie is more real than anything in the world. More real than night terrors. More real than the heartbeat she sometimes hears in the back of her head when she’s been standing still too long.

“You’re distracting, is what you are,” Jamie says, sounding the least upset about it she possibly could. Dani hums.

“Stalling.”

“I was thinking,” Jamie repeats, eyes rolling toward the ceiling in a show of great restraint when Dani presses her hips forward. “We’ve seen an awful lot of this barbaric country you call home.”

“We call home,” Dani points out, grinning. Jamie nods.

“But. S’been a minute, hasn’t it? Since we’ve seen what they’re up to across the pond. I was thinking, maybe--if you’re up for it, mind--we could...ring up Owen? See if he’s willing to bear a couple of grungy wanderers on his doorstep for a couple of days...”

It’s a distraction, Dani knows. Just something to get her mind off of the kids, of the truly palpable sense that something huge and important is beginning to drift too far out to catch. And yet...

The months roll into years. The years are quiet. They’ve been quiet so much longer than she thought she’d have. But somewhere deep down, somewhere beneath miles and miles of long kisses and meandering car rides and Jamie burning every other dinner they scrounge together...there’s something still down there, she knows. Waiting. Watching.

“Lot more postcards out there,” Jamie says, with the light and airy tone of someone who knows Dani is looking over the edge of something too dark and too deep to climb back out of. “Could send an awful lot more, is all I’m saying.”

Sure. Sure, they could. There’s so much world out there, so much to see. She’d like to see it all, if only she had the time. She’d like to see every last inch.

And maybe...maybe it’ll be enough. To keep moving. To keep their world spinning too long, too fast, for the beast to catch up with. She can’t know for sure. Jamie says it often enough, and she’s not wrong: Dani will never be able to say how much longer the running can last.

But for now? While the beast holds still, and those kids still hold her name, and Jamie holds her like nothing else in the world matters?

“I think I’d like that,” she says, and feels steadier than she has in years.

#the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #fanfiction #dani clayton #dani x jamie #yeah this was bound to happen #it's slightly less likely that people will yell at me over this one #which is frankly both delightful and disappointing

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al3x1ss · 4 years ago

Text

Bring them to your home for the holidays {HCs}

Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi, Noya, Terushima, Kiyoko

THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE READER! ALSO, ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

Author’s note: In my family, thanksgiving means the Christmas stuff is put up after breakfast, so I got this idea ab the holidays and I got v happy. Enjoy!

Warnings: None, fluffy holidays for y’all!

Oikawa

okay mans HATES the cold confirmed

like snow comes he’ll probably hiss

(HISSING AT SNOW ME HONESTLY LMAO)

(Not me seeing a few feet of snow with my sisters and going “wow look at all that cocaine”)

ANYWAY

so y’all met when both of you happened to be in Brazil and he thought you were cute

long story short you had a few dinner dates, even hung out with Hinata!!

you guys hit it off very well :)

so you guys have been together for about 2 years and you’re like ya know what

“Come to my house for the holidays :)”

not only is this man a simp but he loves the warmth so ofc he says yes!!

so while you’ve lived here all your life, only really moving out of Tampa to Miami, you did have to take this tourist him to a basic spot

but you did want to take him to some of your favorite places

after him seeing your family again, you took him to one of your favorite carnivals!

then classic gotta go to the beach I mean

why not go to the ocean!!

issue with December weather in Florida is it changes every second so today was a bit C H I L L E D

(You did have to force him to eat something other than rice tho)

Picky eater kawa confirmed

what better way to spend December 25th than Disney

I mean

Mans whole went “wow 😍” when you told him

Kiyoko

BEST WOMAN I LOVE WOMEN

ahem

you were an exchange student during her whole high school career, turning into best friends and deciding to go to college together

college came along, and with the help of a few friends, parties, and a little too much twister, you realized

you were actually lesbian.

which you know what, we support!

it’s not like you’ve never liked a boy, it just happened to be that women were more your type

oh yeah another thing

Kiyoko is the prettiest thing in your eyes.

OH ANOTHER ANOTHER THING

HAVE I MENTIONED YOU REALIZED THAT YOU’VE ACTUALLY LIKED HER SINCE YOUR 1ST YEAR IN COLLEGE

NO?

OKAY.

so what you DONT know is that Kiyoko has realized she actually feels the same

during your third year in college, she had broken up with her boyfriend of a year, Tanaka, but never told you why

Huh

i wONdEr whY

But, after living in Japan for 7 years, Christmas time is rolling around once again

And you are going home for the holidays!

usually you would go home during summer break, but this time you really wanted to spend Christmas since your older brother had your niece!

and since Kiyo didn’t have any plans you were like

“hey, do you want to come home with me?”

home girl choked on her water 😳

“H-home?”

“Yeah! I’m going back to New Orleans for the holidays.”

cue brain calming down and like sLIGHT disappointment

but

it’s you

and she loves you.

HANGING OUT WITH YOU SORRY

so you guys did presents and stuff

your niece LOVES Kiyoko btw

your dad was like “👀”

I SEE YOU YOU SEE ME MAn

been knew you were 💅AND HE SUPPORTS

so around 4 you’re like let’s go do something!!

and she says okay!!

so one movie Kiyoko really loved was “Princess and the Frog”

Funny enough there’s actually a bakery you’ve gone too growing up

so you get New Orleans’ best beignets!

Ahh, fun times

next, you’ll always hear some type of caroling anywhere you are in the city

which means?

SMALL PARTIES

DANCING

FUN TIMES

you see random groups of people smiling around 7pm, the sun already down

and you’re thinking to yourself

Hey

I want to ask her to dance.

and you do :)

YALL BUST D O W N LIKE YES MAAMS

continuing

Finally at around 10pm you take her to this one street where each place has a bunch of Christmas wonderlands lit up

hile it doesn’t really snow in New Orleans, people used fake snow!!

gotta get that spirit somehow 😗

when I say Kiyoko is a goddess I mean it

the lights bouncing off her face while she’s smiling?

*chefs kiss*

Terushima

ah yes the city that everyone thinks is a state

IM SORRY J

BUT IM NOT EHDJFJHH

Chicago!! ✨

Terushima HAS visited Illinois before

However, surprisingly has never been to Chicago

So you were like

I’m born here!! 🥰

Come come!!🥺

And he said

Si si!! 🤪

so y’all flew out on the 20th

while your parents don’t live here, some old friends do

and why not have them meet your amazing boyfriend!

literally all of them were shocked I mean

(Y/N) likes a boy with a tongue piercing?

wack

the amount of BONKERS

but yes you love him very much

and he loves you!!

honestly your friends already fell in love with you two being in love it’s canon

afterwards you guys went too ZooLights

HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU

“YUJI MY PANTS ARE WET”

“IM SORRY PRINCESS IT WAS JUST A GOOD TIMING-“

you threw one at his face

Not y’all fighting like little kids-

n e wayz

best way to end the 24th?

ice skating-

nope.

It’s actually buying late presents because you two actually forgot to get some people presents and Christmas is literally in like 4 hours!!

YOU COULDNT CATCH YUJI IF YOU TRIED😳

MANS WAS ZOOMIN THROUGH EVERY STORE

GRANDMA? GOT IT

UNCLE? SURE

NEPHEW? YOU DONT EVEN GOT A NEPHEW

It was mega fun tho

surprisingly y’all didn’t get kicked out

you almost did when Terushima thought it would be a good idea to ride a skateboard into the electronics section at target 🤡

but we will ignore that for tonight ❤️

Akaashi

A NOTE:

this one will be the longest one with the most detail for certain reasons! also, for akaashi’s you do have a given birthday because Dec 30th is actually my birthday and I wanted to sprinkle in some of that ❤️

alright

best for last :)

So you got to be in an exchange program during college

and that’s when you met akaashi since you guys were in the same classes!

he also showed you around and was very sweet

so you offered to get him coffee

and after a while he confessed by giving you a copy of a book you both really loved

but

you semester was ending

which means home for the holidays

luckily, you guys would only have one more semester away from eachother before you guys graduated

but you did want to spend the holidays together

so you offered for him to come to New York with you

boy got excited so fast my heart-

wOOSH FOR THIS MAN

But like Christmas in New York with your loving boyfriend of 4 years?

Sign me up

So you know that during winter it’s a hit or miss with snow

is it still freezing cold?

Yes.

But can we guarantee 3 feet of snow every December?

No.

But we can guarantee it in like March JEJHRTJ

one thing you told him immediately was that you guys will be watching the ball drop from the roof

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get mugged, shoved, or vomit on my shoes, Keiji.”

Yes ma’am indeed

so you guys had a pretty (quiet?) Christmas

your family?

LOUD AS CAN BE

but

Regarding to going places

You guys chilled all day in pajamas

Like the most y’all did was go to dunkin for hot chocolate

but the days leading to New Years?

GOTTA GO GO GO

Classic tree photo yes ma’am

nut crackers AND THOSE GIANT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ACROSS FROM JIMMY FALLONS STUDIO?

Y’ALL KNOW THE STREET I FORGET THE STREET LMAO

bro side note their kabobs in that one corner

best thing I’ve ever had I stg

I haven’t been to the city since last Christmas wow now I miss it

OKAY NVM SORRY

you wanted to show Keiji so many things

but

You were used to walking like 10 blocks in any shoes as fast as you can

Akaashi was not 😂

So y’all had to take breaks sometimes

get him warmed and fed ya know

give the man smoochies 🥺

id be giving him smoochies 24/7 if I could

so you better for me 😠

His favorite place was the big Macy’s no lie

the perfumes and cologne section on the 2nd floor looked SO WELL PUT TOGETHER

okay nvm scratch that

FAO Schwartz was his favorite place

he loved the trains

you bought him a train as a late present SHH NO ONE SAY NOTHIN

So the 29th you decided to take him to where you were born

Brooklyn!

it was super fun showing him where you lived before you went to college

and before your siblings moved to different parts of the city

It was lovely

But the final thing you wanted to do was December 30th

your birthday :)

and one thing you absolutely love to do is ice skating

now usually you go ice skating at the public rink like a few minutes away from Rockefeller rink

not only was it cheaper, but there was a Panera like 2 blocks away so quick food!

but

you also wanted to give Keiji the experience

so you sucked it up and paid

you guys went at around 8 and had a blast

one of the best birthdays with him honestly

but, you realized people were starting to exit the rink at around 10

“Doesn’t the rink close at midnight?”

“Huh, weird.”

but Keiji kind of starts looking around while you realize you two are the only ones on the ice

So you’re like

I guess we have to get off 😔

But this sly fox

Pulls you to the center of the rink

Now, you were never one for the cliché act

Especially since so many proposals have happened on this rink that you’ve seen

But when you saw Keiji get to one knee

It didn’t even matter that this happened to so many other people

It was happening to you.

And it’s ESPECIALLY CLICHE

THAT IT WAS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

however

I guess you can just suck it up, cuz at least you have a ring on your finger :)

- Lex 🖤🤍

End note: Let me know if you guys would like a part 2! Also if you have any ideas for a certain character or place, put it in asks!

#Royal Flush #Full House #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #oikawa tooru #oikawa headcanons #oikawa smau #kiyoko shimizu #kiyoko headcanons #kiyoko smau #terushima yūji #terushima headcanons #terushima smau #akaashi keiji #akaashi headcanons #akaashi smau #No Cursing :)

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just-jordie-things · 4 years ago

Text

Wherever I Go - John B Routledge

word count: 8075 warnings: swearing, fighting summary: John B is fleeing the country without saying goodbye to the girl he’s been in love with his whole life. this is a collection of their memories (I guess) + loosely based on this song kinda ish idk ___

[ i know i could lie, but i’m telling the truth // wherever i go, there’s a shadow of you ]

(y/n) always thought it was kind of unoriginal, and lamely expected, falling for John B. Even the moment she’d realized that she was catching feelings for her childhood best friend, she’d wanted to face palm. Because of course she did. She had to fall for the same guy that every girl has a crush on at some point.

It was kind of funny to her sometimes.

Like when he did his stupid shit, whether it was trying to con CPS, or when he would find a vacant Kook house for the Pogues to party in until they got chased out by security.

(y/n) missed the days when they were running from a security guard that would stop chasing them when they got to their side of the island. She missed when John B wasn’t a wanted suspect, she missed life before this whole stupid treasure hunt.

Had she known there was an equal chance of the gold ruining their lives as there was it being the best thing that ever happened to them, she would have convinced her friends to drop it.

Because so far, it wasn’t worth it.

[ i know i could try looking for something new // but wherever i go, i’ll be looking for you ]

“I don’t want to stay here forever”

(y/n) glanced over at John B, surprised to hear something so profound seeing as they’d been sitting on the sofa, watching a kids movie.

She knew that he meant it in the same way all the Pogues meant it when they said they wanted to get out. He’d say it all his life, but in the end he’d settle down and stay in the Outer Banks, because in the end, it’s home.

But nonetheless, the words tugged at her heartstrings.

“Where do you want to go?” She asked, angling towards him to better give him her attention.

It was at that point that they gave up on the movie completely.

“Anywhere,” John B huffed, turning towards her as well. “Maybe Florida. Maybe north, I don’t really care”

(y/n) gave him a sad sort of smile, but she entertained the idea anyways. It was important to have dreams, she thought, even if they were unattainable.

“I’d go to Florida with you” She said sweetly, making him grin back at her.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” She affirmed. “We could like… I don’t know, open up a canoe shop or something. Then we could still be on the water every day,”

John B’s smiling even wider now, enjoying her little made up plan. He doesn’t say anything, hoping that she’ll say more nice things so he can pretend he lives anywhere but the OBX.

“We’d probably have to share a studio apartment or something,” She added, catching the way he was waiting for her to continue. “I don’t think we’d be able to afford anything else. Oh, what if it was just above the canoe shop?”

Her eyes lit up at the idea of having their own place above their own shop. It could be completely theirs, and suddenly she too was falling in love with the idea of escaping.

“You’d live with me?” John B asked, and she giggled, gesturing around herself at the Chateau.

“I pretty much live with you now, dork,” She told him. “I don’t think it’d be that much of an adjustment”

“Good point” John B chuckled.

It was quiet for a minute, the both of them daydreaming about their imagined place in Florida. In their minds, it was perfect. There was no DCS trying to put John B in the system, there were no Kooks, no Pogues, they could live there freely, and happily.

“We could walk everywhere,” John B added his own little fantasy. “It’d be a small enough town. I’d take you to the farmer’s market on the weekends, and then we could surf…”

(y/n) could feel her heart swelling up as a bittersweet feeling settled over her. As lovely as this sounded, she knew deep down it would never happen. Her and John B had grown up on this island, they would grow old on this island, and they would die on this island, it was just the Pogue way.

“I’d love that,” She tells him anyway. “Maybe we could have a pet, or something. Something weird”

“If you say something like a lizard-”

“Lizards are cool!” (y/n) laughs, and he laughs with her.

It’s a happy moment, her heart is full and her smile is genuine. She’s reminded of all the reasons why she’s fallen for the boy in front of her, especially because of how his charisma makes his happiness contagious.

“That’s the plan then,” John B murmurs after their laughter dies down.

(y/n’s) eyebrows raise slightly, but she doesn’t shoot him down. She would never.

“Florida” He finishes.

“Florida” She agrees in her own whisper. ___

[ some people lie, but they’re looking for magic // others get down on their knees and they pray ]

This treasure hunt had quickly gone from a fun summer adventure to a life altering and probably traumatic nightmare. John B had pretty much prepared himself to lose his life looking for this gold, and somehow that was a reality that didn’t scare him.

The plan was simple, for an escape plan. JJ and Kiara would steal his dad’s speedboat, Pope was discreetly getting supplies needed for a getaway, and (y/n) was back at the Chateau, packing up everything of value that John B had listed off to her.

Then at three o’clock, on the dot, they were supposed to meet at the docks. No exceptions. John B needed to get off the island as fast as possible, and they’d made it clear before splitting up that if anyone wasn’t there on time, he couldn’t wait around. It was too risky to be out in the open with a speedboat and a wanted man.

That was why they’d all shared a quick group hug before breaking apart and running their errands. Just in case. But they’d all promised to be on time.

She promised.

“Dude, you have to go,” Pope said, shoving the bag of emergency supplies into John B’s hands. “We can’t hang around here-”

“No we have to- we have to,” John B argued as panic settled over him. “I can’t leave without saying goodbye-”

“I’ll tell her,” JJ cut in. “We all will, and she knows, JB-”

“No she doesn’t- look- I’m not going without seeing her”

“You don’t have that choice!” Pope hissed. “If you don’t get on that boat now, you’re going to get caught. You have to go, we don’t have the time”

John B shook his head, too stubborn to listen to reason.

It was 3:10 now, and (y/n) still hadn’t arrived with his things from the Chateau. And with every passing minute, John B only started to freak out worse.

“What if they arrested her?” He thought out loud. “What if she’s hurt? Maybe I should go back-”

Before he could take a step JJ had stepped in front of him, both hands on his chest.

“Don’t even think about it- do you hear yourself man?” He asked. “Get on the boat, you can’t afford to wait around for her-”

“I told you, I’m not leaving without saying goodbye-”

“Look, we get that you feel bad, I get it, but you can’t risk losing this chance dude-”

“We’ll tell her that you waited as long as you could!” Kiara shouted, annoyed that they were still standing around arguing about this. “She’ll understand, John B, she knows just like the rest of us that we couldn’t do exactly this. You need to get off this island, now”

As usual, Kiara was the voice of reason, and as his stubbornness faded, his heart started to break.

But he shakily nodded his head, and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

“Tell her- um- tell her I..” His voice trailed off as his throat swelled up and began to burn.

“I know,” Kiara nodded. “I’ll tell her, I promise”

John B couldn’t say anything, just nodded his head as he stared down at the ground, trying not to cry. He couldn’t believe he was about to leave without seeing her one more time.

And he’d probably never see her again. ___

[ i feel alive when i’m close to the madness // no easy love could ever make me feel the same ]

Parties were hit or miss with (y/n). When it was just the Pogues, she always enjoyed them, no matter what they did. But when they threw beach parties that the whole island was invited to, she was usually too anxious about the mix of Kooks and Pogues to fully enjoy herself.

But she always went, she wouldn’t miss the chance to hang out with her friends, or have free beer.

Currently she was sitting in the sand, her shoes had long been missing, and a half empty cup of cheap beer in her hand. She tended not to drink too much at these things, always worried that something terrible would happen, and someone had to be sober enough to handle those situations.

She’d been chilling by herself for quite some time, eyes roaming the swarms of people, pretty much expecting the worse. It wasn’t a great mindset, or a healthy one for that matter, but she couldn’t help it.

Besides, there was plenty of drama that she could watch that most people missed.

Like the Touron couple that was about to break up because the boyfriend had been grinding on some random Kook girl. That was pretty entertaining.

Or Rafe Cameron, who was trying way too hard to look like he wasn’t high out of his mind. There was still a little bit of coke visible under his nose, that even (y/n) could see from ten feet away. She made a mental note to keep a close eye on him.

“What are you doing down there?”

Despite her watchful eye, she hadn’t noticed John B walking right up to her, and now standing before her, looking down at her with an amused half-grin.

“Keeping an eye on things, like usual,” She shrugged, and then nodded to where Rafe Cameron was hitting on an entire group of Touron girls at once, “Rafe looks kind of-”

“Come dance with me” He cut her off, and her eyes darted back up to his.

“What?”

“Come dance with me,” He repeated, sticking his hand down towards her now. “You gotta loosen up a bit, and I haven’t seen you all night”

“I don’t know, I kinda think that he’s gonna pull something,” (y/n) explained. “And when he does I want him out of here immediately-”

“Then I’ll help you keep an eye on him while we’re out there,” John B reasoned with her. “But you can’t just sit here by yourself all night, so come on”

He tapped his fingers to the palm of his hand, beckoning her silently to give in.

“Fine,” She sighed, and placed her hand in his, letting him pull her up off the ground. “But as soon as he-”

“I got it, I got it, we kick him out when he goes full asshole,” He said. “Now just relax for a little bit, won’t you?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, and despite something telling her deep down that her attention should be on the reckless, known-to-ruin-the-night Rafe, she allowed herself to be distracted by John B.

It was just so easy.

He twirled her around under his arm, trying to get her to let the tension in her shoulders go, but it took quite some prompting to really get her to dance with him. He pretty much had to grab her by the hips and move them to the beat for her in order to get her moving.

But by the time a new song started to play, she started getting into it, and soon any worries about Rafe or Tourons were far from her mind, and all she cared about was dancing with John B.

He laughed and cheered with her, eagerly twirling the girl around under his arm over and over just so that she’d keep on giggling.

It was cheesy, but it was so, so worth it.

“Okay John B quit it, you’re gonna make me sick” She finally grabbed at his wrist so he would stop. The dizziness lingered, and she swayed slightly while trying to get it to settle.

John B was still chuckling as he reached his free hang out towards her shoulder, holding onto her with a strong enough grip so she would stand still.

It only lasted a second longer before she was grinning up at him, letting him know she was fine.

“Drinks?” She asked, and he agreed instantly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked towards the keg.

JJ and Kiara were currently in charge of the beer, which was good news because if it weren’t for Kiara, JJ would be pouring drinks for anyone no matter how intoxicated they already were.

“Look at you two,” Kiara giggled before hiccuping, and then giggling some more.

Her finger pointed at (y/n) and John B, waving unsteadily.

“All cute and shit. Jay- look how f’ckin’ cute they are”

Alright, so maybe tonight Kiara had more to drink than usual and her judgment was a bit off, but it was funny nonetheless.

“Is there any beer left in that keg or did you two hog it all?” John B asked, trying to ignore Kie’s comment.

Kiara and JJ shared a look, before snorting and bursting into more giggles. That wasn’t a great answer. But neither (y/n) or John B cared much, they just happily accepted their beer.

“Where have you been, anyways?” JJ asked, throwing back his own drink and immediately pouring himself another. “We haven’t seen you guys all night… you’re not macking are you?”

John B’s face went pink at the accusation, even though there was no truth to it. But (y/n) burst out into giggles. Nervous giggles, but no one else knew that. John B thought that she just found the idea so preposterous that it was funny to her. It made him blush harder, but no one seemed to notice.

He supposed that was the positive effects of alcohol.

“No!” (y/n) screeched between her giggles. “We were just dancing” She told their friends.

“Awww” Kiara cooed, folding her hands together and placing them against her cheek.

JJ rolled his eyes and shook his head, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Usually you’re inside going to bed,” JJ said, glancing at (y/n) with his eyebrows raised in surprise. “You up for the night tonight?”

“I am not,” (y/n) argued back. “I just like to sit back and people-watch, that’s all”

“Well, still, you’re out here drinking with us instead. Not so much of a goodie goodie now are ya?” JJ smirked.

He was only teasing, the Pogues knew that (y/n) wasn’t uptight like that, she just worried about her friends. She’d proven time and time again that she could handle herself if necessary.

In the tenth grade Topper Thornton had a broken nose to prove it… he also had a limp for a few days because of how hard the girl had swung her boot between his legs. But that’s what he got for saying the nasty things he did about her and her friends.

And she’d do it again if she had to.

So she knew that JJ was just messing around, he’d never say anything to genuinely upset her anyways. But she noticed the way John B glared at the blonde.

“I’m just messing, calm down” JJ laughed it off, also seeing the look on John B’s face.

“Hey, speaking of sitting around, where’s Pope?” (y/n) asked, quickly changing the subject out of discomfort.

“I think he’s still flirting with a Touron,” Kiara said, wiggling her eyebrows. “He’s been chatting up the same girl all night, I think he might have finally found someone who’s interested in the shit he talks about”

She pointed off to where Pope and a pretty girl with brightly dyed hair were sitting in the sand. Whoever she was, she was definitely interested in him, and (y/n) couldn’t help but think Pope struck gold.

“Wow, look at how into him she is,” She said with a click of her tongue. “Good for Pope”

“I know right, it’s about time” Kiara muttered in agreement, grinning at the sight.

“What do you mean?” John B asked, taking a sip of his beer and leaning down slightly as he spoke to (y/n). He was looking at the same scene, but he just couldn’t see what she was talking about.

“What do you mean what do I mean?” (y/n) retorted, and John B had to stop and think through her slight tongue twister. She giggled, looking up at him and enjoying his ‘thinking’ face.

“I meant what are you talking about?” He asked, semi quietly.

(y/n’s) brow furrowed a bit at his dropped volume. Pope was pretty far away, there was no way he could have heard his friends talking about him, but she didn’t understand why John B was still whispering. Did he not want JJ and Kiara to hear? Why didn’t it matter?

She took a large swig of her beer after realizing she’d been overthinking far too much, and then turned back to John B.

“I mean, look at her,” She said, nodding off to the girl with pink hair. “Look at how close she’s leaning to him,”

John B nodded, checking that off in his head. Leaning.

“And she’s making eye contact, and smiling, and talking enthusiastically,” (y/n) continued her list. “I mean, Pope’s a pretty oblivious guy so he probably doesn’t see it, but she definitely wants him to kiss her”

“You can tell all that from all the way over here?” He asked, amused.

(y/n) shrugged, looking up at him again.

“What can I say? I’ve got a natural talent for reading people,” She said proudly, and then finished her beer. “Hey, Jay, be a doll and pour me another?”

She handed her cup back to the blonde before turning to John B again when he tapped on her arm.

“Do someone else,” He says, but she clearly doesn’t get what he’s trying to say. “Your reading thing, do it on someone else”

“Alright,” (y/n) shrugged, eyes roaming over the crowd around them. “Who?”

She wanted to show him the Touron couple that were still arguing and on the verge of breaking up, and tell him about what she saw earlier, but he already had someone in mind.

“Her” He said, pointing to a blonde girl down by the water. She was wearing a pretty floral dress, and was wading around barefoot where the water barely reached the shore. Her boyfriend was standing further away from the water, obviously yelling at her to get out of it, even though he couldn’t be heard from where (y/n) was standing.

“Sarah Cameron?” She asked him, and he nodded his head. “I mean, I don’t know what she’d thinking going out with Topper-”

“That’s not the same thing, you’ve gotta read her from afar, forget about what you already know about her” John B instructed.

(y/n) huffed, but nodded in agreement, and focused on the pair that were some thirty feet away.

“She’s pretty free spirited…” She finally told him, it was something she’d never noticed before. “And seems pretty happy, genuinely happy. For a Kook,”

John B chuckled as she added in that last part hastily.

“But I don’t think her and Topper will last long, really,” (y/n) continued. “I mean, he keeps trying to hold her back, look at him,”

(y/n’s) eyes wandered to John B, only to realize he wasn’t watching Sarah and Topper’s interaction with her, instead he’d been staring at her the whole time, mesmerized by the way she could read body language like it were in a book.

(y/n’s) cheeks tinted pink, but she ignored it, pointing off to Sarah and Topper to redirect John B’s attention.

“See how he’s just pouting like that? He does it a lot. He gets frustrated with her very easily. Pretty much whenever they’re not doing what he wants to do”

With that, (y/n) took her refilled cup from JJ, and took a swig.

John B had a wide grin on his face as he nodded at her with respect.

“That’s pretty cool. I didn’t know you were so good at that” He said.

“I’m full of surprises” (y/n) giggled back, hiccuping a bit.

She drank more beer in hopes of getting rid of the hiccup. It didn’t work.

“Me too,” John B, suddenly taking hold of her hand. He was right, that did surprise her. Usually she was the one to initiate physical affection, not him. “Come on, let’s dance some more”

Shrugging, she followed him as he began to walk backwards, away from the keg.

They both drank some more, so that when they danced with their cups it wouldn’t spill over. Now they were properly tipsy, borderlining on drunk. That perfect in-between that would last the next fifteen minutes or so before they got truly drunk.

But for now, as they danced wildly and without rhythm, it was perfect.

At one point, John B ditched his beer completely, dropping the cup to the sand, so that he could wrap both arms around (y/n’s) waist. She was just about to reach her hands up to his shoulders, thinking they were still dancing, when he abruptly lifted her up off the sand.

The squeal she let out caught the attention of a few surrounding party goers, but no one paid them any mind.

John B proceeded to spin her around a few times before he set her back down. She was giggling again, just like when they were dancing before, soft and calculated, like she was trying not to laugh too much.

He laughed with her as she regained her balance and hooked one of her arms around his neck, continuing to dance without a care in the world.

She still had her beer in her other hand, not much of it was left, but there was enough for her to take a swig and then let John B throw back the rest. Her now free hand landed on his chest haphazardly. The button down he wore wasn’t buttoned anymore, so her palm rested on his warm chest while her fingers dug into the soft fabric.

There was no denying that the feeling of her skin against his made him heat up more.

After he drank the remnants of her beer, John B tossed her cup to the ground next to where his had landed earlier.

“We gotta remember -hic- to pick those up later,” (y/n) told him, her eyes hooded slightly as she tried to keep eye contact. “Or Kie will kill us” She finished, and then hiccuped again.

John B laughed at the hiccuping, but nodded his head.

“Okay, I’ll remember”

“No you won’t” (y/n) said knowingly.

“I’ll try to remember” John B replied, but the slight slur in his voice as he tried to properly pronounce ‘remember’ said otherwise.

“You’re not gonna remember” (y/n) argued again, and this time he nodded his head.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna remember. You should remember for me”

They were both laughing again, just because it was a stupid conversation but it was the funniest thing in the world to them, at the moment anyways.

But then suddenly everything changed.

She looked up at him and her laughter died.

He was the only thing she could see. The party was in the background, their friends, the Touron couple fighting just a few feet away, the music that had previously been blasting in her ears, it all faded away. She was intently focused on the slope of John B’s nose. Followed by the way his eyes kind of turned green in the dim lighting. Then the curve of his jaw. And the few freckles scattered over his cheeks and down his neck. And lastly the fullness of his lips.

His lips had never looked that kissable before. Sure, she’s always wanted to kiss them, but right now it dawned on her that she absolutely could if she wanted to. They were right there, it would be easy to reach up and plant her lips on his. Even if it was just for a second.

John B must have picked up on her change in demeanor, because his arms around her waist tighten in the slightest, drawing her in closer. The action made her heart skip a beat, because she knew. She knew he knew. They were thinking the same thing, consequences be damned, it just had to be done this once, the mood was just right.

Subconsciously, (y/n) licked her lips, cursing at herself for drinking so much beer that she could still taste it on herself, but the thought was fleeting as her eyes met John B’s for the shortest of seconds, just to make sure that they were thinking the same thing, before they lowered back down to his lips.

When she stood on the tips of her toes, they were almost eye level, which was close enough. And when she stood on the tips of her toes, John B pulled her in until her chest hit his.

And finally, she let her eyes fall shut, leaning in to let nature take it’s course. Or maybe it was fate- it certainly felt like fate was guiding her right now.

But just as she could feel his nose prod against hers, a loud shout broke the pair from their hypnotized state.

“I’m sick and tired of you dirty Pogues thinking you own this island!”

Suddenly, the party was back in the picture, and it wasn’t just the two of them on the beach.

(y/n) pulled away from John B with more force than she meant to, but Rafe Cameron yelling something like that was not a good sign, and she was certain that he was picking a fight with someone.

Of course, as her eyes finally found him, that ‘someone’ was JJ. Of course.

“Oh, shit”

John B came back down to earth and was moving before he could think. (y/n) followed right after him, hoping to get to the arguing pair before it could escalate. Topper was walking up to defend Rafe if needed, and if any other Kooks closed in, then this party was going downhill fast.

Before either of them could get to him, JJ took the first swing, knocking Rafe on his ass right away with the blow. And despite the slight pride that John B and (y/n) felt, they knew that it wouldn’t be good if the fight continued.

So John B got in front of JJ, putting his hands on his shoulders, while (y/n) wrapped her hands around his arm.

She’d learned some time ago that touching him gently, carefully, was a quick way to calming JJ down. He had a bad temper, but if he was reminded of the consequences of his actions- like getting arrested again and being away from his friends, which were his safe haven- then he could calm down faster and it made it easier for him to walk away.

“Maybank, you hitting that?” Topper asked, nodding to where (y/n) was still at his side, trying to whisper nice things to calm him down.

Apparently she’d been soothing the wrong person. Because as soon as Topper spoke, John B was abandoning JJ, and whirling around to punch the Kook across the jaw.

“John!” You shrieked in a mixture of fear and shock.

John B didn’t start fights, ever. He’s ended them before, and gotten his ass handed to him before, but he never threw the first punch, no matter what. Normally it was JJ, and sometimes it was a stupid Kook. But him decking Topper just now, that was the first time (y/n’s) ever seen him swing without hesitation.

JJ whooped beside her, and she stopped her comforting caress to smack his bicep in nonverbal scolding.

Next thing she knew, Topper swung back, and he and John B were full on brawling. Rafe had even stepped back, cheering Topper on as he landed a couple punches in a row.

And then there was Sarah Cameron, who must have just shown up, because she was screaming at her boyfriend with the entirety of her lungs.

“Get off him! Topper! Cut it out!”

She continued to scream until she realized that Topper wasn’t going to listen no matter what she said.

He hit John B again, sending him to his knees. (y/n) gasped, her hands flying over her mouth as she flinched at the pain he must be in. It was a tough punch, to get knocked down like that.

John B didn’t stay down though, just as Topper was winding back to deck him again, John B was lunging forward, tackling him to the ground.

(y/n) had forgotten that she was supposed to be keeping JJ grounded, because suddenly he was in the picture, sending a kick into Topper’s side as John B kept him down.

“JJ!” She called, her eyes darting between John B and JJ, not knowing who to yell at currently. “John B!”

Frustration grew inside of her as a pit in her stomach. It mixed in with the fear of her boys getting themselves hurt, again, and she felt like she might throw up right then and there.

Rafe came back into the picture then, as if on cue, grabbing JJ by the shoulders and prying him away from Topper and John B, sparking a completely different fight.

Without JJ helping John B to keep Topper down, the Kook was shooting forward, pinning John B to his back, completely knocking the wind out of him. Enough so that when Topper threw his fist against his face again, it completely disoriented him.

It was when Topper started dragging John B towards the water that (y/n) snapped and finally stepped in, consequences of getting hurt be damned, whatever Topper was about to do wasn’t good.

“Topper! Let go of him!” She cried out, and then screamed in terror as she watched him force John B’s head under the water.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation before she threw herself onto Topper’s back, trying to throw off his balance and force him away from John B. Her body weight wasn’t enough to bring him down though, and he pulled John B back up just to push him under again.

“Let him go! Let him go you dick!” (y/n) continued to scream in his ear, throwing her fists anywhere she could before Topper got annoyed of her.

“Get the fuck off me, bitch” He growled, and with ease was able to maneuver her into falling off him, her body crashing into the shallow water.

“You’ll kill him!” (y/n) cried out, kicking at his legs as she tried to get back up. “You’re going to kill him!” Her words fell on deaf ears, and now her fear had morphed into something far worse than worrying John B will get a black eye.

“JJ! Pope!” She screamed out, hoping one of the boys would be able to stop Topper from drowning John B. “Topper get the fuck off of him!”

The next part is always a little fuzzy in her memory, either because there was plenty of alcohol in her system, or because it was just too much for her brain to process at the time it happened, but suddenly JJ was there.

He had a gun in his hand, a gun that (y/n) thought he had hidden in the Chateau after he found it, but apparently he’d kept it on him.

That gun was pressed against the back of Topper’s head, and the click of JJ turning off the safety rang in everyone’s ears. Topper let go of John B.

(y/n) wouldn’t admit it, but in that moment, all she could think was thank fucking god.

Ignoring whatever JJ was saying to threaten Topper, she scrambled past them, reaching for John B and holding him up out of the water. It was then that she realized she was crying- sobbing, really- because her vision was blurry and watery while she tried to assess the damage.

“Oh- oh my god, John B,” She mumbled, her lip trembling with her words. Even her hands were shaking as they reached for his face, and then patted from his shoulders to his chest. “Oh my god, oh my fucking god”

She continued to repeat herself while John B coughed up water, unable to say anything even if he could breathe. His head was spinning and everything was fuzzy. But he could feel (y/n) grabbing at him and touching him everywhere she could.

And then three gunshots rang out, and the pair jolted, both heads turning to the sound, assuming the worst.

“Everyone get off our side of the island, now!” JJ howled.

John B sighed in relief, while Pope and Kiara yelled at JJ. He was just glad someone didn’t get shot.

His head fell forward, hitting (y/n’s) shoulder as he heaved.

Her hands smoothed up his arms, squeezing gently, prompting him to get up.

It took quiet an effort to get him to his feet, but by then Pope was at his side, helping (y/n) get him to walk.

“What the fuck happened?” Pope asked, looking over at the girl for answers.

“Rafe- and then Topper- and John B hit him-” She was still crying, and most of what she was trying to explain was incoherent, but Pope did his best to listen. “He was drowning him-” She whimpered, taking in short gasps of air after every word. “He was- he was gonna- k-kill him”

“He’ll be fine, he’ll be just fine,” Pope said, realizing that now wasn’t the best time to get details. “He just needs rest”

(y/n) nodded her head shakily, pulling John B’s arm tighter around her shoulder, her other hand pressed against his stomach, hoping that he knew she was right there for him.

They got him inside and on the sofa, where he groaned as soon as he landed on the cushions. He’d stopped coughing, and although his breathing was a bit ragged, it had at least evened out. Pope continued to assure (y/n) that he would be fine, because it didn’t seem to click for her yet.

[ i know i could lie, but i won’t lie to you // wherever i go, you’re the ghost in the room ]

Kiara ushered JJ towards the guest room, leaving Pope and (y/n) to tend to John B.

While Pope went to the kitchen to find something frozen, (y/n) dropped to her knees on the floor, grabbing hold of John B’s hand and holding it close to her chest.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” She murmured before pressing her lips to the back of his hand.

John B’s eyes were closed, and he didn’t bother to open them.

“When we move to Florida,” He mumbled quietly, “I’m gonna get a tattoo”

(y/n) paused for a moment, thrown off by the comment, but a second later a slight smile tugged on her lips.

“A tattoo of what?” She murmured.

Pope came back to the room with a bag of frozen vegetables. Wordlessly, (y/n) took it from him and gently laid it against John B’s bruising eye. It was red and swollen now, but by morning it was definitely going to be a dark purple.

He hissed, from the cold or pain she wasn’t sure, but she whispered softly to soothe him anyways.

“I know, it’s just for a little bit”

“Maybe a surfboard, on my ankle or somethin’,” John B finally answered her tattoo question, his jaw clenched and his teeth grinding, but he spoke through the pain anyways. “Or when we get the treasure, for every gold bar we find, I’ll tattoo it somewhere”

(y/n) forced out a light laugh, smiling at him again.

He finally opened his eyes, pleasantly surprised to see her smile, but not so delighted to see the flow of tears falling from her eyes, and the streaks already stained on her cheeks.

“You look rough honey” He muttered, lazily bringing up a hand to graze the back of his fingers over the tears.

(y/n) scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“That’s real hot coming from you” She retorted, glancing over the bruises on his body, and the split in his lip.

Pope chuckled from where he’d sat himself on the chair in the living room. He hadn’t wanted to disturb the peace that (y/n) had worked so hard to create in the atmosphere, but he was also genuinely amused by how the pair got along when no one else was around. It was much more… intimate.

“I can’t look that bad,” John B mumbled, tiredness evident in his voice. “I walked to the house, didn’t I?”

“You only got here cause Pope and I practically carried you, you baby” (y/n) reminded him. The laugh she let out was watery, but she was finally calming down enough that her tears stopped.

“Thanks for carrying me” He mumbled, his eyes falling shut again.

(y/n) just hummed in response, sitting down more comfortably.

Her free hand, the one that wasn’t holding onto his, rested against his head. Her fingers twirled around the long strands of hair, curling the brown locks before letting them go, and repeating the action. His head rolled to the side, eyes still closed as he was slowly falling asleep, but leaning more into her touch.

After a few minutes of silence, Pope got up from his seat, announcing that he was heading to bed, and if anything changed with his pain, to get him. (y/n) nodded, and thanked him quietly as he bent over to kiss the top of her head before he left the room.

Almost as soon as he was gone, John B was talking again.

“Come up here and lay with me”

“John B, you’re taking up the entire sofa,” (y/n) whispered back, laughing softly. “But I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep-”

“No,” He whined, and tugged limply on her hand. “Come lay with me and stay the whole night”

She huffed out a sigh, and his eyes opened to meet hers.

“Please?” He added hopefully.

She was silent as she gave in, standing up and crawling into the small space on the couch. John B moved as best as he could to lay on his side, his back against the cushions so that (y/n) could have just enough space to lay on her side before him.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her tight so that she wouldn’t roll off in the middle of the night.

She sighed again as she rested her head against his chest, being careful to stay away from the bruises that were slowly starting to darken, but this time the soft exhale was one of content, and relief.

“It doesn’t hurt?” She murmured.

John B took the frozen vegetables off his eye, and dropped the bag somewhere on the ground carelessly.

“It’s not that bad,” He lied. “Really”

She didn’t know if she should believe him, because she knew he would lie just to ease her worries. But she decided to just nuzzle further into him, her own arm sliding around his hips, her hand splaying out flat against his back.

“I thought he was gonna fuckin’ kill you” She admitted, her voice barely a whisper, but he still heard her.

“It’s Topper, he just wanted to prove a point, (y/n/n),” John B said, even though there had been a moment where he’d thought the same thing. “You probably scared him, though. He probably thought you were gonna break his dick again”

The girl let out a small laugh. It was momentary, but it was worth it, and John B relaxed a bit against her.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” She mumbled, starting to fall asleep in his arms. “I don’t like seeing you hurt. It was stupid of you to hit him, not that he didn’t deserve it,”

She was on a bit of a confession spree, the remaining alcohol in her system mixing in with the adrenaline of the fight and her exhaustion. But John B didn’t mind, he’d stay up to listen to her talk all night.

“Someday we’ll get out of here, and never have to see him again”

That was the last thing she’d said before falling asleep, and it warmed John B’s heart. It was relieving to hear that she thought about their dream of getting off the island too, and not just to entertain him.

He told her goodnight and kissed her forehead before allowing himself to go to sleep too.

[ i know i could try looking for something new // but wherever i go, i’ll be looking for you ]

Kiara had told (y/n) a few weeks after that incident that her and the Pogues had found John B and (y/n) completely intertwined the next morning.

Apparently JJ had been the first to get up that morning, bright and early, the aches and pains that he had as consequences to fighting the night before made sure that he wasn’t able to comfortably sleep through the night.

And apparently when he’d headed for the kitchen to make breakfast, he’d come across the pair on the sofa, and just about laughed so hard he risked waking them up.

He did, however, wake Kiara and Pope.

The boys laughed into their hands while whacking each other in the sides, calling John B a simp among other teasing names.

But Kiara just smiled, silently getting a blanket from John B’s bedroom and covering the two.

(y/n) was completely wrapped up in John B’s arms, her head buried in the crook of his neck and both of her legs tangled with one of his. While John B was peacefully snoring, head resting against hers.

It was kind of a miracle that his snoring alone didn’t wake up (y/n). It wasn’t that loud, but it definitely wasn’t soft, and it was right next to her ear. Kiara thought it was adorable that the two slept so perfectly in each other’s arms.

When she’d told (y/n) about it, the girl blushed and had a hard time keeping eye contact. She was adamant about staring down at her shoes and insisting that there was nothing between them.

But deep down, she got butterflies just thinking about cuddling up with John B again.

It was a good memory, despite the fight and Topper being a psychopath, when (y/n) looked back on it, it made her feel soft inside.

[ you think it’s a lie when i’m telling the truth // wherever i go i’ll be looking for you ]

“John B! Wait!”

The shriek was desperate. It was tearful and fearful, full of pure terror and worry. It was also hopeful, and it was relieved, but it was mostly desperate.

As (y/n) came up to the dock on JJ’s dirtbike, driving terribly as her balance was shit and she didn’t technically have a license so her ability was already in the toilet, the whole gang swiveled in surprise, not having expected to see her.

John B especially, he had been trying to prepare himself for the fact that he might never see her again, but here she was, nearly crashing the bike as she came to a stop, and throwing JJ’s helmet to the ground.

“Hey!” JJ shouted, quickly grabbing the gear and dusting off the dirt.

(y/n) practically scrambled to get off the bike, careless letting it fall to the ground as she swung her leg over it, and then sprinted towards her outlaw of a best friend.

“You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?” She spoke breathlessly, her arms already extended for him before she actually reached him.

But John B was quicker than her, lunging forward and literally scooping her up in his arms, hugging her tightly. (y/n’s) feet couldn’t touch the ground, but she didn’t care, she reciprocated the tight embrace, beyond thankful that she got to him in time.

“I didn’t want to leave without seeing you,” He mumbled, burying his face in her hair as he set her back down on the ground. (y/n) could tell he was crying. “I thought you weren’t going to make it in time, I thought-”

“John B,”

(y/n) pulled him away, her hands cupping his face as she smiled at him, her grin stretching ear to ear, and tears shined in her own eyes as well. He smiled back at her, letting out a sigh of relief. Bittersweet relief, as he would still have to leave her in a minute, but at least he got to look at her one last time. Maybe he could memorize her face, so that when he got lonely on the other side of the border he could think of her, and imagine she was there with him.

(y/n) didn’t say anything, just pulled him down to be level with her, and then pressed her lips against his.

It was a fast kiss, harsh and desperate, just like her arrival, but it was everything either of them needed.

His hands had a tight grip on her waist before trailing lower, pulling her roughly into his chest. If this was the last time he saw her, and this was the only chance he’d get at kissing her, he was gonna have to make it worth it.

Pope and Kiara quickly averted their gaze, and JJ let out a low whistle in amusement.

Finally, they parted, only because they needed air, and because John B knew his time for getting away was running out.

(y/n’s) forehead was glued to his, her hands still splayed over his face, nose still pushed up against his, it was like she couldn’t bear to ever be apart from him again.

And she couldn’t.

“You’re not leaving without me” She murmured.

John B sharply pulled away then, his brows furrowed as his eyes flickered over her features, assessing her expression to make sure she was serious.

When she shrugged the backpack of her shoulders to show him that it was very full, definitely with more than the things he’d asked her to get from the Chateau, his eyes blew wide.

“Really?” He asked, full of hope and excitement, but then the reality of her choice hit him. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure” (y/n) nodded affirmatively.

“I’ll be on the run- probably for the rest of my life, I could get picked up and arrested at any moment-”

“We’ll be on the run together then,” (y/n) told him, voice unwavering. He could tell that she was being as genuine as she could be. “I love you. And I don’t ever want to be apart again” She stated.

John B’s smile returned, and he nodded his head back at her.

(y/n) hugged the Pogues as quickly as she could, crying out her last goodbyes, and as the sound of sirens grew nearer, her and John B hastily made their way onto the speedboat.

It was difficult saying goodbye, but they had a good feeling this wasn’t the end. Their story had only just started, and they’d only hit the tip of the greatest adventure of their lives.

As John B expertly sped off into the storm, he pulled (y/n) into his side, kissing her cheek affectionately.

“I know the plan was Florida,” He told her, “But how do you feel about the Bahamas?”

She grinned back at him.

“I’ll follow you wherever you go”

[ wherever i go, i’ll be looking for you ] ___

idk what this was, just wanted to write it so i did

xoxo ~ jordie

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #John b #John b x reader #John b scenario #John b imagine #John b fanfiction #John b routledge #John b routledge x reader #John b routledge imagine #John b routledge scenario #John b routledge fanfiction

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atths--twice · 4 years ago

Text

The Pregnancy Series 1/6

Contentment

And so begins the next chapter of their lives. The “what happens next” portion of the end of the series and of Soulmates (which I recommend you check out and of which I have recently posted). A season 12 of sorts, but no more X-Files, no more monsters in the dark, no more conspiracies. This is the life they deserve after all the shit they have been through- happy, together, a baby on the way that will not be taken, hunted, or need to be given up.

I NEVER planned to fall into family stories for any reason. Seriously, it was not even on my radar. I had so many other stories to tackle and a baby story was not one I was super interested in working on. Then a tweet was posted about it being Father’s Day and Scully would be so far along and how Mulder would he be talking to her belly and well... I was gone.

I wrote this one and thought I was done, but no. I went on to write over 30 more, so get ready... :)

_________________

Mulder and Scully, together once again, content and cuddling in the Unremarkable House.

(Oh, and we obviously don’t have any pregnant photos from the revival, sooooo.... )

June 2018

Mulder sat on the front porch, his feet up on the railing, as he leaned back, enjoying the breeze of the summer day. It had not been too hot, for which he was grateful. It had been warm the last couple days, but today was good. Today was good.

Scully was inside making a late lunch/early dinner. Now that they were not working at the FBI anymore, they were home more. Scully had been back at the hospital for almost two months. Mulder was still thinking of what he wanted to do with his time. He had been writing, but he was not completely devoted to it yet. It helped him though, helped with all they had gone through.

He was content for now. Content being home with Scully. Watching her body change as her pregnancy progressed. Being there for every step of it this time. Holding her hand while they heard the heartbeat for the first time. Him crying and falling to his knees. She had murmured to him that it was okay, they were okay.

He scrubbed a hand down his face and closed his eyes. He still did not know how this baby came to be. Well, he thought with a smile, he knew how, because he had been there and it had been amazing. Both times. And every time since.

But this pregnancy, five months in and he still was stumped. Years of no discussion, no thought, no consideration of it and they were never expecting. Then they had a discussion in a hotel room, a roundabout discussion about their lives, their hopes, and what they had wanted. Then, he thought smiling, then she had kissed him. Kissed him like she had for years, full of love and promise.

He had rolled her on her back and looked at her until she smiled, giving him the green light. He took care of her first, he owed her that. Owed her his time and devotion. She broke quickly, calling his name, and holding tightly to his hair. She had been breathing hard, whispering his name, as he kissed her and joined their bodies. It was fast, but wonderful.

He got up and stepped over to the screen door and looked in at her. She had music on, though he could not place it. She was swaying to it as she made whatever she was working on. His heart swelled watching her. At the way her body was already changing. The extra weight, the shape of her body. He loved her so much, he would do anything to make her happy. He knew that beyond anything else. She was more important to him than anyone had ever been.

He sighed and sat back down in his chair, feeling the wind blow, closing his eyes. He needed to relax, will his body to calm down, his mind to stop racing, to not start thinking beyond what was happening in the here and now.

“Hey,” she said through the door, then pushed it open. She walked over to him and touched his arm. His eyes flew open and she smiled. “You hungry? Ready to eat?” She ran her fingers across his arm, tickling him, her smile widening. Her other hand was on her belly. The swell of her made him smile.

He pushed himself up and grabbed her hand, heading inside. She laughed and followed behind, squeezing his hand.

She had made a salad and chicken breasts for them. Something healthy for them and for the baby. She was determined to be better with her eating habits of late.

“This looks great,” he said, as he sat down and took a big bite of chicken. “I’m even going to eat the salad.” He said with a wink and a smile. “But, do we have any beer? It will make the salad taste better, I think.”

She laughed as he got up to see if there was beer in the fridge. She heard the bottle open and knew he had found at least one. He winked at her again as he sat back down. She smiled at him and grabbed her knife and fork. It was quiet for a bit as they both ate their food.

Mulder looked at her as he took a drink of his beer. “How are you feeling, Scully? You okay?” He stared at her looking for any sign that she was sad or feeling sick.

“Mulder, you’ve asked me that at least three times today. Every time, I’ve told you I’m fine. Do I not look fine to you?” she asked as she stared back at him, eyebrows raised, a small smile on her face.

“That’s not a fair question, Scully. If I say no, it implies I don’t think you’re fine- which I absolutely do,” he said with an eyebrow waggle, while she rolled her eyes. “But if I say yes, it implies I’m not actually sincere in my questioning. So..how are you?” He smiled and waited.

She sighed and folded her hands in her lap. “I was a little sick this morning, as you know. I’m a little tired, but other than that I am okay.” She gave him a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He reached for her hand and she took it. He threaded his fingers with her and squeezed.

“How about if we watch a movie after we eat? You pick, and I’ll clean up. Any movie you want to watch. Yes, even Steel Magnolias.” She chuckled and squeezed his hand back. She nodded and let go of his hand so they could finish their food.

He took their plates to the sink as she picked out a movie. He was washing the dishes when he heard the music of the movie she picked and he smiled. Mystery Men. He liked this movie and she tolerated it. Of course she would pick something he would like. As he set the dishes in the rack, he looked over at her as she sat on the couch and rubbed her belly. He loved watching her do that almost as much as he loved doing it to her.

He hurried his cleaning so he could go sit with her and touch her belly. Hopefully the baby would be awake tonight so he could feel it moving again. The first time it happened, it scared the shit out of him. They had been lying on the couch spooning, his hand on her belly when he felt it move. He pulled his hand back and shouted. She had laughed and put his hand back. For twenty minutes, he had felt the wave like feeling of his baby moving around inside her. He had cried into her neck as she turned to him and held him.

He joined her on the couch, lying down, put a pillow on her thighs, and put his head down, facing her belly. She smiled down at him, while she stroked his hair. The late afternoon sun was coming through the windows and his face looked beautiful in this light. He pressed a kiss to her belly and started mumbling into it, his lips warm against her shirt.

“Do you want me to turn the movie on? Or do you want to just speak to my stomach?” She scratched her nails into his scalp and his eyes closed. He loved when she did that, it felt so good. He put his head back and looked at her.

“Scully, I read in one of the numerous books I ordered, it is important for the baby to hear our voices. He, or she, hears yours all the time, but I don’t get unlimited belly time. So, I have to use my time wisely. Tonight I’m telling him or her, about the Mothmen in Florida. About how we were hunted down and built a kickass ladder tower of dead bodies. So, if you’ll excuse us.” He put his mouth against her stomach again and started talking.

She leaned her head back against the back of the couch and smiled. She muted the television and instead listened to him tell their baby about a trip in the woods that had almost killed them. Well, another trip in the woods, as there had been many. But she could hear him telling this little miracle about how brave she had been, how she tried to light a fire with gunpowder-really smart your mom, how she had held him, kept him warm, when he was hurt.

She ran her fingers through his hair over and over, reveling in the feel of it. So soft and so familiar. She had missed him so much. Had missed nights like this, lying on the couch and watching movies. Now, his attention was on her and the life growing inside her. She loved him so much, her heart ached with love every time he laid like this and talked to their child.

She raised her head and looked down at him. He was talking about how she had sung him a song and it had been the most beautiful singing he had ever heard, when the baby moved, right against his mouth. He pulled back stunned and Scully laughed and laughed at his expression.

“Oh Mulder, I think either he or she is telling you to shut up, or calling you the liar that you are. Remember, I am with him or her all the time. My singing has been heard.” She laughed again and he put his mouth back against her.

“Don’t listen to her little bean, her voice is beautiful, because it’s hers. I love everything about her and her singing voice is part of the package.” He put his hand on her belly, moving it around, trying to feel the movement again. “She didn’t have to sing, but I asked her to and she did. That’s how it works with us, my bean. We ask of each other and we oblige. It’s a partnership. Give and take, push and pull.” He put his head back and looked at Scully. She smiled at him and stroked his face.

“I got incredibly lucky when they sent your mama to me, little bean. They thought she would be my undoing, but she was what I needed. She was my saving grace. I don’t tell her that enough, but it’s the truth.” He was telling the baby but looking at Scully. Her eyes filled with tears, but he was not done. “I almost lost her, my sweet bean. I was so close. I made some bad mistakes and I almost lost the one person I love most in this world.” He was still stroking her belly, staring in her eyes. Her tears spilled over and ran down her face.

“But, we found our way back,” his voice was lower now, the one that gives her the shivers. “We fought through the bad and the darkness to find the light again. You are part of that light, my sweet bean. You would not be here if we hadn’t fought like hell to get back to each other. I am so grateful for you. You are a testament of our love and our hope for the future." He put his mouth back on her stomach and she resumed stroking his hair. “We are going to have so many wonderful adventures. I can’t wait to experience them with you.” He kissed her belly and closed his eyes, his cheek resting against her.

As he lay there quietly, the baby moved again, right on his cheek. His eyes flew open and he looked up at her. She smiled, tear stains on her face. They both laughed at what appeared to be the baby giving him a kiss goodnight. He pressed his face against her and whispered goodnight.

The sun had set and it was the beautiful moment in the day, when the crickets and nighttime insects started their mating sounds. The males calling for their females. Mulder empathized with them tonight. He understood their hope and pain, he had felt in himself. But his female, his mate, his love, was there and his heart was happy, so very happy. They sat in the silence of the house, listening through the screen door. They began to breathe in unison.

Mulder shifted and sat up. He moved to the end of the couch, and reached for her. She went to him and laid her head on his shoulder, on her side. He shifted again, lying on his side wrapping his arms around her. He lifted his leg, allowing hers to slide between his. He pulled his leg up close to her hip, holding her close. One hand moved to her hair, the other low on her waist.

“Pretty soon we won’t be able to lie here like this,” she said as she nestled into his neck, smelling his scent and closing her eyes.

“What do you mean? Feels pretty cozy to me,” he said as he scratched her head with his fingers. She hummed and kissed his neck. He hummed back and pulled her closer.

“Right now, we fit perfectly with, as you call it, the bean between us. Give it a month..” She trailed off and he scoffed.

“Then we will just have to cuddle like this in bed. Problem solved.” He ran his hand up her back and she sighed.

“If we stay here too long, I’m going to fall asleep,” she said, her eyes already feeling heavy. His fingers in her hair was like a sleep aid. She felt so relaxed, content.

“Sleep then, Scully. Sleep.” He tightened his hold on her and brushed a kiss on her forehead. “I love you, my angelic songstress.”

He felt her laugh against his neck. “I love you too, you absolute liar.” He chuckled and kissed her again as she sighed and relaxed further into him.

The crickets sang and the summer air was warm. It created a peaceful atmosphere as all three inhabitants rested in a cocoon of love. Love created on the outside in the tangle of limbs, and love created on the inside. Swirling, growing, and preparing for the adventures her father would take her on.

#The X Files #XF Fanfic #Family Series #Post MSIV #Happy and Content #Pregnancy #Love and Adoration #The Unremarkable House is full of love once again

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thegoodgayshit · 4 years ago

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Luz’s mother really doesn’t want to send Luz to camp. She knows once she leaves, there is no going back. But Luz has a knack for getting into trouble, and one day she stumbles into the same type of people her mother would have preferred she avoided. After helping Luz dissolve her high school bully into dust, Eda and Lilith know right away that this kid is just like them - a child of the gods. So Luz hops on a Pegasus and heads to Camp Half-blood, where she embarks on a dangerous quest that makes her both friends and enemies... and she might even save Olympus along the way.

Chapter 2: I Meet the Camp's Talking Hellhound

The introduction to the camp was pretty brief. Eda more or less just waved nonchalantly with her hand to the gathering crowd.

“Luz, these are the other campers. Other campers, Luz.”

A chorus of hellos rang throughout the clearing, and Luz slowly began to relax. A lot of the campers looked like kids like her: the youngest being six or seven and the oldest being around college age. There was a huge diversity of campers, kids of all different races and ethnicities, and most of them sporting an orange shirt that Luz could now read: “Camp Half-Blood, Long Island Sound”.

“Alright, with introductions out of the way, all of you should be heading back to your activities for the day.” Eda drawled, and the crowd began to disperse. There was a handful of campers who stuck around though.

There was a girl who looked about her age with black curly hair and green eyes, and Luz thought that she looked like the friendliest person she’d ever seen. She carried a bronze Spartan kopis on her belt, and in her left hand, she was holding a pot that was growing a golden plant unlike any Luz had ever seen before.

Next to her was a skinny boy with dark brown skin and dark eyes, who was both shorter and younger than Luz herself. His hair was styled into a fashionable fade, and if Luz had to guess he was maybe twelve. He was wearing a bronze chest plate that was clearly a size too big, but despite how uncomfortable it must have been he was smiling brightly.

“Eda, I helped the naiad in the forest like you asked.” The girl said, her voice mellow and soft. “It turns out she was still upset about the visiting party ponies”.

“A centaur from the Florida chapter trampled under her tree,” the boy added. “Willow fixed up the roots super-fast!”

Eda nodded at the pair, “thanks, kids. I swear to Zeus, Fennel has some knack for holding grudges… the party ponies left three weeks ago.”

“Eda?” The noise came from a second camper, who had been standing awkwardly off to the side. She was also around Luz’s age but maybe half an inch taller. She had dyed green hair pulled half back that exposed brown roots at the top of her head, and Luz found herself looking curiously at her eyes. At first, she thought they were brown, but then she realized they were, in fact, gold like Eda’s. The girl had her arms crossed, and she was standing a noticeable distance from the other two campers. The pair shared a look with one another that Luz understood immediately, and she felt that feeling of discomfort beginning to prick at her belly, the one she often felt on the first day of a new school. Luz immediately pegged this girl as the bully type.

Eda hummed, looking up at the girl like she had just noticed she was standing there. Luz felt a small grin starting to poke at the corners of her mouth as the girl’s face began to tint red, clearly embarrassed. The girl caught Luz’s expression and her face darkened, giving Luz a glare. Luz cut the smile right away. Despite the fact that she didn’t seem to be carrying a weapon, Luz thought this girl would have no hesitation gutting her with her bare hands. If looks could kill…

“Where’s Lilith? She told me she’d train me tonight when you got back.” The girl said, turning back to Eda with an airy and impartial look.

“She’s still at Olympus,” Eda said with a shrug. “We found Luz here in Manhattan so Lily and I decided I should take her to camp. She should be meeting with the council right now.”

“Oh…” The girl said, clearly not expecting that answer.

“Anyways, since I’m back I might as well head to my cooking class,” Eda shrugged, gesturing to the three other campers. “Show Luz around camp, will you? When you’re done introduce her to Cabin Eleven.”

Eda didn’t wait for them to respond. She just turned tail and walked away, leaving Luz and the other three campers standing there a little awkwardly. Luz smiled nervously at the three of them, and the girl scoffed turning on her heel.

“She doesn’t need three tour guides. You can show her around. I have better things to do.”

As the girl walked away, Luz felt like she had been slapped. “So much for a warm welcome…”

“Ignore her,” the girl said with a shrug, shifting the pot in her hand. “Amity is just like that.”

The boy smiled and extended his hand, and Luz took it with a nervous smile. “I’m Gus from Cabin Six.”

The girl smiled brightly at her, waving with the free hand that wasn’t around the pot. “I’m Willow, from Cabin Four. Eda said your name was Luz, right?”

“Yeah, Luz Noceda,” she said, blinking at the way they introduced themselves. “From Cabin… I don’t really know what happening”.

Thank God (or… I guess… gods?) the pair laughed. Luz felt herself relax a little. She already found herself liking Willow and Gus, and she wondered if Eda had been right when she said that everybody here was a little weird.

“Don’t worry, it can be overwhelming at first, but you’ll get the hang of it,” Willow encouraged with a smile.

“Come on, we’ll show you around!” Gus said excitedly, and Luz grinning, following after them as they turned around and started to walk.

They showed Luz the archery range, and the rock climbing wall, (Luz winced thinking about how her Mami would kill her if she ever tried that, she watched another camper scrape past the lava with the hairs singed off her arms) the canoe lake, and the pavilion where Willow said everybody met for dinner. Then they guided Luz through all the cabins if they could even be called that.

“Why do they all look so different?” Luz gasped, taking in the arrangement of colors and designs that varied from cabin to cabin. Cabin Four, which Luz remembered Willow was in, was covered in flowers and tomato plants growing up the walls. It had a roof made of real grass. As they passed, Willow waved to a girl with blonde hair standing on the porch watering wildflowers.

“Each cabin represents a patron god,” Willow explained. “You get sorted based on who your godly parent is.”

Luz hummed thoughtfully, “ok I get it. So Cabin Four…”

“My mom is Demeter,” Willow said. “Goddess of the harvest”.

“Well… technically-” Gus was about to speak, but when he caught Willow’s look, he swallowed his words and quickly changed the subject.

“And I’m Cabin Six!” He said quickly, gesturing to a different Cabin that was grey with white curtains. There was an owl design hanging over the door. “My mom is Athena, the goddess of wisdom.”

Luz noticed the awkward tension between Willow and Gus, but she was so impressed by what she just heard she let it slide.

“Wow, so you must be pretty smart then,” Luz said, and Gus’ cheeks pinked.

“I mean, not really…”

“He’s being modest,” Willow deadpanned, rolling her eyes affectionately at the younger boy. “He skipped three grades.”

“Oh wow! Good for you, Gus,” Luz said, and she meant every word. Considering Luz had barely managed to pass most of her classes, and considered a C a job well done? That really impressed her.

“So, what about you Luz?” Gus asked, now so embarrassed he had to change the subject again. “Is your godly parent your mom or dad?”

“My dad,” Luz said, humming as she looked around at all the different cabins. “I wonder which god he is?”

“Well, let’s see what kind of skills you might have!” Gus said excitedly, and the trio began to compare the different cabins to try and narrow down the results.

She saw some campers by the basketball court shooting baskets, and some of them were crazy shots too. Willow had said they were from Cabin Seven, Apollo. From what Luz remembered he was the god of music and poetry. Luz didn’t have a musical bone in her body, so she could cross that one off the list. She wondered if maybe Zeus was her dad, like Eda and Lilith, but then Willow gently explained to her that their cabin was pretty exclusive. She was a terrible swimmer and hated the water, so she was definitely not a Poseidon kid. She got pretty angry a lot, but she didn’t think that was because she was a child of Ares. Luz was pretty sure she was just frustrated with her situation at school. Maybe she belonged in the wing of the minor gods. She could see her mom falling for one of those guys… someone more lowkey. But her mom had always told her that her father was a very successful businessman… that didn’t sound lowkey.

Luz was going to raise this concern to her new friends when she noticed something she had ignored earlier. Around both Gus and Willow’s neck was a brown leather necklace, with beads strung around it. “Cool necklaces,” Luz comments, pointing to them. “Did you buy them together?”

Willow chuckled, reaching under her orange shirt to give Luz a closer look. “Nope, everybody at camp gets one when they’ve stayed for at least one summer. A different cabin every year designs the beads based on an event or memory the camp has and gives them to each camper at the end of August. I have four beads for four summers.”

Gus reaches down to show Luz his own necklace. “And I have three beads for three summers!”

Luz awed over the different designs, the art on them was so intricate and beautiful Luz couldn’t help but ask about the shared designs, especially since one of them had what looked like a hot air balloon on fire.

“Oh, that was a crazy summer,” Gus said with a grin, launching into the story.

The trio talked for so long, that soon the warning bell rang for dinner. Willow jumped up like she’d been burned.

“Oh shoot! We were supposed to introduce you to Cabin Eleven. We can go there now quickly.”

“Cabin Eleven?” Luz said with a raised brow, but she couldn’t say much else as Willow grabbed her arm and practically dragged her across the U shaped wing of cabins. Eventually, they parked her right outside one of the cabin doors, and there was a girl standing outside the porch. She had tied back brown hair and a single fishhook earring. She looked a little older than Luz, maybe sixteen. Luz immediately liked her, she looked pretty laid back and cool.

“Hi, Viney!” Gus grinned, and the girl shot him a friendly smile.

“Hey, guys! Eda told me there was a new camper, so I decided to wait around here until she showed up.”

“Sorry we’re so late, I know you need to get your cabin to dinner,” Willow said apologetically, and Viney just shrugged her shoulders.

“We’re always late. It’s no problem.” She turned to Luz, who for the first time all day didn’t feel anxious around someone new. “You must be Luz. Welcome to Cabin Eleven! I’m Viney. Hopefully, you’ll be comfortable here. All new campers stay with us until they get claimed.”

Luz had a couple of follow up questions to that, but she didn’t really have time to ask them, because Willow and Gus were now waving goodbye.

“We’ll see you later, Luz. Let us know if you need anything!” Willow said, and Luz nodded to them before they headed out, likely back to their cabins.

“If you’re looking to make friends, they’re a good start,” Viney said to Luz with a smile. “Almost everybody at camp likes Willow and Gus.”

“Not everybody though,” Luz said with a frown, remembering that other girl, Amity.

Viney shrugged, “you win some and lose some. Now come on, let me introduce you to the rest of the cabin.”

The cabin itself looked pretty unassuming from the outside. It was a light brown, it looked like it had recently been repainted, and there was a caduceus over the door. Inside, there were about a dozen bunk beds, each with a simple brown chest at the end of it. Some of the bunks were decorated with posters or pictures, but a lot of them kept a simple kind of design. Luz already liked it in here, it was homey, but not busy enough for her ADHD brain to hyper-focus on any one thing. Luz counted about eighteen campers in total, which meant there was a good number of empty beds. The campers all turned to look as Viney and Luz walked in.

“Alright Cabin Eleven,” she called to them. “This is Luz, our new undetermined camper. Play nice. We’re leaving for dinner in five minutes, so be ready.”

Luz waved awkwardly, but thankfully most of the cabin seemed just as friendly as Gus and Willow.

“Hey Luz, you can have this bed right here,” one of the boys said, gesturing to the bunk above the one he was sitting on. The boy had brown hair and a pointed nose, and he fidgeted with his hands. It didn’t bother Luz. She could relate to that.

She grinned at the nice gesture, hoping it revealed just how relieved she was. “Thanks.”

Luz walks over to the bunk and takes off her backpack, and is about to throw it on the bed when the boy shakes his head quickly.

“Don’t leave that there, it’s a rookie mistake,” he says, and Luz eyes him uncertainly.

The boy sighs and then gives her a crooked smile. “Our dad, Hermes, is the god of merchants and travelers… but also thieves. If you have anything valuable, leave it in the chest. We can share it.”

Luz understands immediately. Opening her backpack, she pulls out her sketchbook and a pack of drawing pencils, her phone charger, and her earbuds. Her phone and wallet with her MetroCard and the remaining change she has are also there, so she leaves those things in the chest and slings her backpack over the edge of the top bunk. The boy shuts it when she’s done, and tells Luz the code.

“Thanks for the warning,” Luz whispers softly, and the boy shrugs.

“Don’t mention it. We were all new once. I’m Jerbo, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Luz.”

Viney stands from the front entrance of the cabin and holds up her hand to get everyone’s attention. “Cabin Eleven! Fall in!”

The cabin falls into rank by order of seniority, so of course, Luz is last, but she doesn’t mind. Together the Hermes Cabin walks towards the pavilion, where all the other cabins have gathered for dinner. Luz spots Willow and Gus with their siblings, and then Amity sitting over at the table right next to Luz. She makes eye contact with Luz, and then scoffs, turning away. Next to her, a pair of green-haired campers that are no doubt twins say something to her, and her face goes red. She elbows the boy hard, and the girl laughs loudly.

At the head table, Eda is sitting there with Lilith, who must have gotten back while Willow and Gus were showing her around. There’s also a boy with red hair and glasses, chatting amicably with what Luz can only describe as a talking black mastiff. It has a red collar, and Luz’s mouth can’t help but drop open at the sight. But she guesses she’s seen weirder things today.

“That’s King, the camp's loyal hellhound,” Viney says from across Luz, noticing her staring. “Hellhounds are usually ten times that size, but King’s always been special.”

“He can talk.” Luz just says, and Jerbo laughs.

“Oh yeah. Thinks himself real special for being able to as well. He follows Eda around everywhere.”

"Who's the boy next to him?" Luz asks curiously.

"That's Barcus, the camp's oracle. He's human and lives here at camp during the summer. When campers go on quests they get a prophecy from him."

That is way too weird for Luz to process, and she opens her mouth to ask a hundred follow-up questions but doesn't get the chance. Eda and Lilith get to their feet, and the camp quiets. Lilith is the first to speak.

“Good evening campers. Today we welcome a new half-blood to our ranks. Everybody, please welcome Luz Noceda.”

There is a series of whispers as people turn to look at her, and some of the campers say hello and wave in her direction. Luz rubs her neck in embarrassment when Gus whoops from next to his brothers and sisters. Viney pats her back encouragingly.

“As you all know on Friday we will be having our weekly game of Capture the Flag.” Eda continues once the murmurings settle. “The captains have been randomly selected, and this time the teams will be the Hermes cabin against the Aphrodite cabin.”

Luz’s table erupts into cheers, and Viney grins from ear to ear. Luz notices the table Amity is sitting at also explodes with noise, and she looks quite pleased with herself. Luz wonders if she misheard.

“Amity’s mom is Aphrodite?” Luz says in surprise, and Viney nods her head.

“Yeah. Why are you asking?”

“It’s just…” Luz isn’t sure what to think about that. “Isn’t she the goddess of love?”

“And beauty,” Viney says as she shoots her a sly smile. “But also passion. Be careful of what you’re assuming. Sure you get the prissy campers every once in a while, but the Aphrodite cabin can be a force to be reckoned with. The Blight siblings make sure of that.” She gestures to Amity and the two green-haired campers who had been talking to her earlier, and Luz hums as she processes this new information. Eda’s voice snaps her back to reality.

“Yes, yes, in any case, captains will have to have their teams ready by tomorrow night.” Eda continues, and she tries to speak seriously, but her smile gives away just how excited she is. “Now, it’s time we eat.”

As if Eda just spoke some kind of spell, food begins to spill out from around the entrance to the pavilion. There are these weird chicken ladies (Viney calls them Harpies) that pass around a variety of barbecued meats, fruits, vegetables, and all kinds of food that makes Luz’s mouth water. She loads her plate and then gets handed an empty goblet, and looks at it uncertainly.

“Say whatever you want, and it’ll appear,” Jerbo says helpfully, and Luz breaks into a grin.

“Lime soda!”

The goblet fills with bubbly light green liquid. Luz takes a sip and her eyes widen in awe. It’s identical to the ones her Mami buys.

Mami! She’s probably wondering where she is right now. She left her phone in the Cabin, but she makes a mental note to call her after dinner.

Before she can dig in, she sees her cabin begin to get up and make their way over to the fire. They take something off their plate and chuck it in, muttering what seems to be a prayer as they do.

“It’s an offering to the gods,” Jerbo explains quickly, before doing the same thing.

Luz approaches and doesn’t quite know what to do. But she takes a cluster of delicious-looking grapes and tosses it in the fire anyway.

Dad, if you’re listening… thank you for letting me come here. I really like it so far.

The fire roars, and Luz is taken aback by the smell. It’s like parchment and a dewy morning before school. It’s comforting.

Eda and Lilith once again get the attention of the crowd. They raise their goblets, and all the campers follow.

“For the gods!” They say.

“For the gods!” The campers repeat.

Luz eats until she can’t eat anymore. Once you’re done dinner, the rule is campers are allowed to visit other tables. Willow and Gus join Luz at the Hermes table, and they all begin to have a steady conversation.

“So how did Eda stumble across you in Manhattan?” Viney asks, and Luz timidly launches into the story. When she’s done, Gus whistles lowly.

“You helped them kill an empousai?” He mumbles in awe. “Servants of Hecate are no easy win.”

“Gus is a fan of Hecate’s illusions,” Willow explains with a smile. “While some campers might use it for pranks, Gus uses it for showmanship.”

“We’ll let me tell you, she was scary,” Luz says with a shiver. “I don’t know what I would have done if Eda and Lilith weren’t there to save me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Viney says, reaching over to nudge her arm. “You leaped on the back of a monster with no weapon. That’s pretty brave.”

“Or pretty stupid,” Jerbo comments teasingly.

“Don’t worry, Luz,” Willow says with a smile when her face begins to heat up in embarrassment. “Gus and I can take you tomorrow to find you some kind of weapon.”

“That sounds great,” Luz said, relieved.

Soon, the harpies began to clear the plates, and her new friends got up to head down to the campfire to sing songs and roast marshmallows. Luz was eager to join them, but she remembered the mental note she’d made earlier. Making a promise that’d she be there soon, she was about to leave the pavilion to go get her phone when she was stopped with a firm hand on her shoulder.

“Where are you running off to, kid?”

Luz turned to see Eda, standing behind her petting Owlbert who was resting on her shoulder. Luz broke into a smile.

“Oh, hi Eda. I was just heading to Cabin Eleven to pick up my-”

“I just wanted to tell you that I spoke to your mother this afternoon,” Eda said, and Luz effectively shut her mouth and raised her eyebrows. “She was pretty angry that you ran off from school, but when I told her where you were she seemed to cool down.”

“Is she ok? She’s not worried about me right?” Luz said anxiously, and Eda smiled softly.

“No, lucky for you she seemed to have realized she couldn’t keep you from camp for much longer. She just wanted me to tell you that she loves you and hopes you're being safe and that you made it through the school year. You’ll be welcomed back to the same high school in the fall.”

Luz felt relief hit her like a pound of bricks. She really didn’t want to worry about her Mami needing to find her another school. She worked full time at the hospital, she worried enough.

“I told her that we don’t allow cellphones at camp since they send out a lot of signals to monsters and that if you wanted to contact her you’d have to see me.” Eda finished, and Luz tightened her lips. She wasn’t exactly sure why cellphones weren’t allowed, but she was glad she hadn’t admitted to Eda she had one. “So I was going to ask you if you wanted to call her, but now that I see you’re running off… I’m wondering if somebody might have something they’re not supposed to have.”

Luz began to panic, but thankfully Eda just chuckled. “Well, that look says it all. Just be careful kid. I’m a fan of troublemakers myself, but my sister sure isn’t. Keep it on the down-low.”

Luz nodded quickly, and Eda chucks her one more sly smile. “Your mom sent us over some pocket money for you to get whatever you need while you’re here. It’s at the camp store, so whenever you want to go buy some clothes or whatever just give them a visit.”

The talking hellhound Luz had seen earlier made their way over to Eda and Luz, and sat down at Eda’s feet, casting a suspicious look at Luz.

“Who are you? Who dares disturb the King of Demons?”

“You’re not the King of demons, you’re King the demon,” Eda muttered to the hellhound, rolling her eyes. “There's a difference. And you came over to us."

King just looks up and her and Eda facepalms, waving her hand toward Luz in defeat. "This is Luz, our new camper.”

Now that Luz was face to face with King, she found him a lot less freaky. In fact, he was kind of adorable.

“Awww, look at this little guy!” She said cooing, reaching down to meet King at eye level. “You’re so cute!”

“I am not cute!” The hellhound barked back in annoyance, and Luz reached over and pat him on the head. Despite looking angry, the hellhound leaned into the touch.

“What a sucker,” Eda mumbled under her breath, and King made a noise of annoyance. “Anyway Luz, if you need anything don’t think twice about coming to find me. I hope you’ve noticed, but everybody here is kind of one big family. We help each other out.”

Luz felt that warm feeling again, and without even realizing she was doing it, she leaned over and hugged Eda tightly, trying to express how grateful she really was. Eda huffed in surprise, before hesitantly hugging her back.

“Thank you, Eda,” Luz whispered into her shoulder.

Eda laughed awkwardly, patting her shoulder. “Anytime, kid.”

#the owl house #percy jackson au #luz noceda #amity blight #lumity #shelby speaks

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lilfellasblog · 5 years ago

Text

Lights Out

Summary: Logan's job consisted of many important things critical to Thomas' life. There was no room for error. He cannot make mistakes.

Until he makes a big one.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience. This is a Tumblr ask! Thank you to the anonymous asker who waited patiently for me to write this, and then continued to be patient because I was trying out the queuing thing on Tumblr and accidentally made it so this posted here the next day. WHOOPS!! Sorry anon! You’re amazing and so kind and I REALLY hope you enjoy this fic!! I decided that since Virgil is usually the one getting hurt and needing comfort in these fics (esp in mine LOL), I wanted to switch it up for you so you could have something unique! And I figured that the central conflict in this story would also make it a little more unique for you! I hope you enjoy!

TW: crying, insecurity, self-doubt, negative self-talk, power going out and being left in the dark, mention of panic attacks, very vague allusion to a probably unsympathetic Deceit. If I missed any let me know!

Word count: 1864

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Logan was hunched over his desk, in a posture admittedly not the healthiest but he could hardly be bothered. Thomas had three projects with outside channels and he had to update his Sanders Sides web series soon, even with the deal with Marvel. That, on top of meetings with his company, planning a video schedule for the second channel, and managing household necessities and bills, and one might find Logan rather frazzled.

(Thankfully, Patton had helped take over grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking, only corresponding with Logan on the budget. It was one less thing Logan had to worry about.)

His forehead and back were tense, his eyes were terribly dry, and his mind was racing. His hands were shaking as he jumped from one task to the other, adrenaline flooding his system. Normally, he wouldn’t get to this point. However, with how scheduling with his company and outside individuals and companies for meeting and filming had gone, he’d been on high alert for almost two weeks now. Logan desperately hoped that the schedule would come together and Thomas would get a small break from filming and meetings; he’s seen the strain it’s taken on his Host and on the other core Sides, and they were running ragged as well.

Logan checked over the schedule Adri had sent them and compared that against the rest of the crew’s schedule.

Yes! Finally! This can work, I just need to mark this down and-

Suddenly, panic sweeps through the mindscape along with shock. Logan quickly rose up into Thomas’ realm to see… nothing. It was completely dark. As his eyes slowly adjusted, he heard Virgil rattling off possibilities that would inevitably end in their demise, Roman declaring he’ll slay any intruder that dares threaten them while offering to serenade everyone, Thomas trying to calm him and Roman down while he looked on his phone to see what was going on, and Patton tripping over things in the dark while he tried to comfort Virgil.

Logan was frozen stock still, realizing instantly what had happened.

I forgot to have Thomas pay his electric bill. The website was taking too long to load, so we were going to work on it another time when the website wasn’t so slow. This is my fault. They are upset and panicking because I have failed in organizing Thomas.

His heart shattered as he listened to Patton lead Virgil through breathing exercises.

I have caused my boyfriend unnecessary distress due to my incompetence. Such a simple oversight on my part. A foolish oversight. One that would not have happened were it another Side.

Roman was checking the perimeter of the apartment for intruders, hand on his sword while he sang Make a Man Out of You under his breath. Normally, he’d be belting out songs at the top of his lungs, which only went to show his level of distress. Thomas was realizing what had happened and looked at Logan, with only the light from his cell phone screen to see.

Thomas, Virgil, Patton, and Roman deserve a better Logic. I am clearly incapable of managing the simplest things, and now we have had our power turned off. Food will begin to rot, and we just went grocery shopping. This has impacted the budget. The increased stress of not having electronics will be incredible, and the lack of air conditioning in the Florida summer may cause health concerns. This is my fault, and my fault alone. I am incompetent.

Logan sank out to his room to figure out how to survive until the power came back on. He didn’t hear Virgil calling his name.

/////

Logan had been staring at his desk morosely for a half hour, shoulders hitching and silent tears dripping down his stoic face as he observed the chaos his desk had become.

I cannot manage Thomas’ schedule. I cannot manage his bills. I cannot manage his household needs. I cannot focus to even begin to help Thomas manage while the power is out. What good am I? I am no good. I am useless. A useless, dysfunctional Side who only makes Thomas’ life more difficult. I make him unhappy. I make the others unhappy.

Logan’s felt his chest tighten and a painful lump form in his throat. His face began to crumple despite his best efforts. Just then, several tentative knocks sounded at his door.

“Come in Virgil,” he called, managing to keep his voice mostly calm.

Virgil opened the door and walked in slowly, assessing the situation. He knew Logan rarely got this upset over something, and to tread carefully.

“How’d you know it was me?” he asked lightly.

“Your knocks are tentative, compelled by your concern to make sure you’re not interrupting someone. Regardless of how upset you may be or your level of need, your first concern is always the convenience of others. It is admirable to a point, though foolish after that point.”

Virgil huffed out a laugh. “Thanks L.”

“You are welcome.”

Virgil’s face softened at Logan’s factual response and his complete overlook of sarcasm. That was always one thing that could calm Virgil; Logan wouldn’t keep anything from Virgil or misunderstand something he said. Logan took what Virgil said at face value and spoke to him in a direct manner. There was no guessing his intent or the “true” meaning of his words, no chance to get it wrong, no chance to accidentally upset him because he didn’t read between the lines correctly…

Virgil shook his head to clear those thoughts from his mind. There was no use dwelling on the past, and it wouldn’t help Logan now.

He cautiously walked closer to Logan. “I saw how fast you got out of there. Couldn’t see your face too well though. How are you holding up?”

“My spinal column is intact.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Talk to me babe.”

Virgil patiently stood next to Logan in silence for several minutes, letting Logan gather himself and his thoughts, breath still hitching with the occasional sniffle. Emotions did not come easily to Logan, so processing them and figuring out how to express them were two challenges that required his full attention without interruption. And as much as Virgil wanted to comfort his boyfriend already, if Logan felt he didn’t express his feelings properly or felt that something was unresolved, there would be no making him feel better.

Finally, just as Virgil’s anxiety began to grow, Logan spoke.

“My job encompasses many things. I am the language center of Thomas’ brain, I manage his work schedules, and I assist in the management of household chores. Notably, this includes ensuring bills are paid on time.”

Logan paused, and Virgil didn’t dare say a thing.

“If Thomas had a more functional Logic, he would not have forgotten to pay his electricity bill. We were in the process of paying it, but I decided that the website was taking too long, and therefore we would return to the task at another time. Not only did I fail to notate that in our budget, I also failed to set a reminder to check the website at a later date, and I did not remember to ensure we paid our bill.”

Logan’s voice began to wobble as he stiffened his back, attempting to control his expression. “As a result, Thomas’ health may be at risk, we may have to throw out food, which will impact our budget, there will be a late payment and reconnection fee which will also impact our budget, there is increased stress on all of you, you nearly had a panic attack, Thomas will have to work exclusively at the office, and his sleep will be disrupted.”

Logan choked back a sob, his voice coming out thick. Virgil felt his face growing hot and pressure building behind his eyes, threatening to make him cry. “I am an incompetent, useless, harmful Side. I do not perform my job adequately, and as a result you all now must suffer for it and attempt to successfully think of how to survive until power can be restored.”

Virgil waited a moment to see if Logan would continue, audible sobs choking off in Logan’s throat. When Logan didn’t continue, Virgil put a hand on the back of Logan’s chair.

“Can I give you a hug Lo?”

Logan sniffled and nodded as a sob finally escaped him. Virgil pulled Logan up out of his chair and had to catch his intellectual boyfriend as he collapsed into Virgil’s chest. Logan was letting out heart-wrenching sobs, self-hatred and grief echoing around the minimalist room. Virgil held onto Logan tightly, rubbing his back and swaying them, his own tears flowing down his face at hearing his boyfriend so anguished. They stood there for 10 minutes, until Logan’s sobs began to peter off.

The genius pulled back slightly. “M-my apologies, I did not mean-”

“If you apologize for needing to cry, I am going to physically fight you!”

Logan let out a watery laugh, which mended some of the cracks in Virgil’s heart. Virgil wiped away his own tear tracks, then reached up and gently swiped his thumb over his lover’s sharp features before returning his hands to Logan’s shoulders.

“Babe, how many times have you helped me come down from a panic attack?” Virgil asked rhetorically.

“Since I’ve known you, 867 times.”

Virgil was stunned into silence for a moment. “...holy shit. Okay, and how many times have you helped redirect the three of us so we could actually be useful for Thomas?”

Logan smiled wryly. “I believe that number is beyond my reach.”

“Smartass. How many times have you helped Roman refine a script?”

Logan frowned and tilted his head. “I’ve done so for every script, you know this.”

“I know. And how many times have you helped Patton work through and accept his feelings?”

Logan hummed in thought. “309 times.”

“Logan, we’ve all fucked up on our jobs and needed your help. You’ve managed to carry that, plus your own responsibilities, really fucking well. You’re allowed to fuck up every now and then. Let us help you for once. Please.”

Logan sighed in defeat, unable to resist the pleading look in Virgil’s eyes. “Very well.”

“Hey, L.”

“Yes, darling?”

Virgil stepped closer to Logan, their chests nearly touching. “You do so much for us. One mistake doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. And no one's mad at you. Not Thomas, not Roman, not Patton, not me.”

“Technically, I am a metaphysical human.”

“It makes you a metaphysical human. Come on, you’ve been working yourself to death lately. Let me take care of you for once. How does a back massage, some tea, and some cuddles sound?”

Logan smiled softly at Virgil, the smile meant only for his boyfriend. “I would love nothing more than to spend this evening with you.”

Virgil smiled back and kissed Logan, slow and sweet. He didn’t stop until he felt some of the tension melt from his boyfriend’s shoulders. And he didn’t stop taking care of Logan that night until he was asleep, fully relaxed, on Virgil’s chest.

#sanders sides #analogical #logan sanders #virgil sanders #fanfic #thomas sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #unsympathetic deceit #tw deceit #crying #kissing #fic #fanfiction

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humansofhds · 4 years ago

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Amos Jackson III, MDiv ′23

“Healing matters to the oppressed, the disenfranchised, the poor, and the hungry. People can get justice, they can get policies and even resources, but it's the healing that actually helps them to move forward. If an individual gets justice but still carries trauma, are they really obtaining true justice?”

Amos is a first-year master of divinity degree candidate at Harvard Divinity School.

Politics and the Church

I was named after one of the minor prophets in the Bible as well as my father and my grandfather, who was named after his uncle. I'm the fourth generation of my name, but the third in my immediate family. I'm originally from West Palm Beach, Florida, but currently based in the Washington D.C. area. I’ve been here since I started college at Howard University, where I graduated from in 2019 as a double major in political science and African American studies.

I grew up in a non-denominational church and even went to pre-K there, but when I was about 13 we moved to a Baptist church not too far from our house, and that's where I really begun my personal faith journey. Growing up, no matter what happened on a Saturday night, we were going to church on Sunday at 7:45 am in the morning.

Interestingly, the church was my introduction to politics. I remember that the first time I met a politician was while he was at church campaigning, and I can recall asking myself why politicians frequented the Black church during election season. Because of the influence of my upbringing, and watching how religion played a big role in social movements, I've always had an interest in the intersection of religion and politics. I wanted to know why this intersection was so important to politicians. “Why now? Why here? What purpose does it serve?”

Seeking the answers to these questions is a big part of the reason I’m now at HDS. I still attend church every Sunday (now virtually) and lead a prayer call for my church every Sunday at 6 pm while also being devoted to the various social justice causes of my church, because I believe that faith requires me to go out of the four walls of the church building and be involved in the community.

Articulating the Value of HBCUs

I initially did not have the desire to attend an HBCU (Historically Black Colleges and Universities) before I committed to Howard University. It wasn't until I got there that I understood the intellectual and cultural richness of the HBCU experience. The biggest benefit of all was getting my education from an African diasporic lens of learning. In comparison to other schools that might have been providing a Eurocentric or westernized form of education, I was learning about psychology, political science, and other spheres in a way that addressed them not just generally, but also their specific interactions with and effects on Black people.

Having the opportunity to be in a space where I felt comfortable and could unapologetically be myself was such a blessing. I also had the honor of being student body president and becoming an ambassador for my HBCU. HBCUs make up only 3 percent of higher education but produce 50 percent of Black lawyers and doctors. Some of the most exceptional Black leaders in this country—such as Martin Luther King, Thurgood Marshall, Ella Baker, John Lewis, Kamala Harris and so many others—were shaped and highly influenced by their HBCU education, and being able to stand on their shoulders as an HBCU alum is a high honor.

Working on a Historic National Campaign

2018 was a very important year for me. I met the then Senator Kamala Harris at an event in D.C., and I shared with her about the disappointment I had felt the night when the 2016 election results were released. I told her how I had believed my opportunities were crushed in D.C., but the silver lining in it all had been that fact that she was elected that very same night to the United States Senate. And there I was, a year-and-a-half later, asking if I could work for her. She offered me the opportunity, and that summer I started interning in her office. Just days after graduation, I was working as a national political coordinator for her presidential campaign in New Hampshire and Nevada. Fast forward to this past September, when I joined the Biden-Harris campaign as Senator Harris’s deputy political director. These opportunities have been endless, and I attribute this to my HBCU education providing me a pathway to work for an alumna of my institution. I do, in a way, see politics as a ministry, and I am grateful that I can now answer the questions I had as a child about why religion was significant for politics. I am seeing firsthand the extent to which society is driven by their social, religious, and moral views, and I'm just saying, that really matters.

The Road That Led to HDS

While in college I had also done an internship with the Center for Responsible Lending, which had a program called the Faith & Credit Roundtable. Part of the work we did there was train clergy to go to Capitol Hill and advocate for their parishioners and congregations regarding economic issues like payday lending, predatory lending, fair housing, and student loan debt, particularly in the Black community which, compared to other communities, has a very high debt-to-wealth ratio. Seeing the impact of that work awakened my aspirations, and I said to myself, “I can do this. I want to do this.” Incidentally, one of the directors of that program had received her master of divinity degree at Duke Divinity. She was the one that advised me to think about the possibility of attending divinity school. I, however, was under the impression that divinity school was only for those who wanted to preach or become a pastor, so I was really blind to all the opportunities that divinity school could bring. I did however end up applying to a few divinity schools, and ultimately Harvard. What solidified the decision for me was knowing that HDS provided the opportunity to take classes in all the different schools. So, if I wanted to see how religion affected public policy, I would have the Kennedy School. If I wanted to see how it affected business, I would have the Business School. If I wanted to see how it affected law and social justice, I would have the Law School. Therefore, making the choice to be in an institution that would enrich me in all of these capacities was a no-brainer.

Smelling the Roses

Something I’ve been reflecting on lately is that one of the biggest things we can do as students of ministry is to understand how healing works, and that it takes a communal effort to heal. Healing matters to the oppressed, the disenfranchised, the poor and the hungry. People can get justice, they can get policies and even resources, but it's the healing that actually helps them to move forward. If an individual gets justice, but still carries trauma, are they really obtaining true justice? People always ask me if I have plans to run for office, but I don't know about all that. I just love doing the work. If it provides an opportunity, sure; but that's not a goal of mine. I just want to pursue God's will for my life, and whatever that brings, I will take. I’m at the school I’ve always wanted to go to, doing the work that I always dreamed of doing, meeting the people I’ve always wanted to meet. So, I'm just trying to enjoy the moment right now, and be grateful and settled in the blessings that God has put in my life.

Interview by Suzannah Omonuk; photos courtesy of Amos Jackson III

#Harvard Divinity School #Harvard #politics #Religion #kamala harris #howard university #baptist church #social justice #large

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russian-romanova · 5 years ago

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the things we left behind

title: the things we left behind

pairing: mike hanlon

warnings: adult language, mention of major character death, mentions of suicide.

notes: i’m a hoe and tried to mimic some stylistic choices of stephen king near the end. this one is very short, but i wanted to get this out after being absent. i will try harder, i promise.

summary: no matter how hard you try, you will always end up forgetting. but maybe that’s okay.

+ + +

Forgetting Derry and the adventures you had in it wasn’t something you had ever consciously thought about. There hadn’t been a moment when you realized that you couldn’t remember the faces of your dead friends and panicked. Sure, there was once or twice where you and Mike would have to toss last names back and forth before you could remember ‘Denbrough’, but that seemed only natural. You hadn’t fought the change.

Derry wanted you to forget. Even when you remained in the town, little things had disappeared from your memory. Both you and Mike -- who you had moved in with after the events in Neibolt -- had your letters from Stan, and in the back of your mind, you held onto that as an eternal reminder of what had happened in 2016. Yet, you shouldn’t have been surprised when it failed to turn up where you thought you had put it. You dismissed it as being disorganized, which wasn’t a foreign trait in regards to you, but it had frustrated you all the same. At least you had Mike’s copy for a while, at least until it seemed to get lost in all of the chaos of packing items into boxes. You had no physical reminders of It or of the Losers Club aside from each other.

Even over the summer of 1989, you and Mike had been close. You had run into him once or twice and thought that he seemed sweet, but Mike had already fallen head over heels by the time he joined the Losers Club. He stuck close to your side, which you certainly didn’t mind, at least before he got a chance to get to know the other Losers.

There had always been something unspoken between you and Mike Hanlon, and the two of you were vaguely aware of it. Neither of you felt that it was something to be rushed, so you kept as close friends, too scared to make a move during that summer. As the school year started, you began to drift away as your time was spent in class and at after school activities, while Mike found himself working more with his grandfather than he had in the past. For a while, the two of you tried to make a point to talk and catch up, but topics burned out and time faded, and you last met around the New Year of 1990.

Fate -- or simply Derry, which seemed to have its own slice of power over fate -- kept you and Mike from even seeing each other during the rest of you time in Derry, the handful of years before you left Maine in pursuit of college and loftier goals, while Mike found himself a job at the library and pushed himself into investigating It and the incidents surrounding It. You left Derry, and you forgot all about your fellow Losers and about It and about the oath you had all made to return.

But not Mike. Mike had stayed behind, feeling almost bound to Derry, and had been the one to call you all back twenty-seven years later, after the brutal murders had begun once again. You remembered seeing him for the first time and feeling the same drop of your stomach that you had felt when you picked up the phone to greet him. All at once, you were terrified and excited, consumed by the adult sense that was telling you to run and forget all about this yet full of childish wonder and curiosity as you met Mike’s eyes.

God, there was a whole lot about your time in Derry that you didn’t remember, but the way you felt looking at Mike seemed to return instantly. You could feel yourself grow warm as your face flushed bright red, but the smile came naturally as well. You had embraced as old friends but held each other a little longer than you would hug Richie or Bill. There was some relief in seeing the other as if it was really going to be alright.

You were almost sad as you remembered once when Mike had said he wanted to move to Florida. You had asked him why, and he had simply said that it wasn’t Derry. Yet, Mike sat before you and the remaining Losers and explained that he hadn’t left the town in over twenty-seven years, and your heart broke. Even in your fuzzy memory, the conversation where he expressed his hope of leaving was vivid, and you had asked him why he stayed behind later when things were more quiet and private.

He had shrugged. “Someone had to, I guess.”

But that was in the past now. Boxes lay unpacked in the apartment you and Mike now shared in Florida, a move that had been fast and spontaneous. It was peaceful, however, and that was all you could ask for after 27 years of living on the edge but not even realizing it. Now you were okay, with Mike Hanlon next to you and memories of Derry fuzzy and almost gone completely. This time, perhaps, you would willingly let them disappear.

People block out memories that ruin them, thoughts that are too painful to keep. You were lucky that you were able to forget so easily, to not even have the nagging at your heartstrings when you realized there was something you had forgotten. It was like that at first, but the same part that was bringing you to forget was telling you that it didn’t matter, so you simply didn’t care. It was painless and effortless, and you weren’t alone this time.

It would be many years later when Mike and you would see Bill and Audra Denbrough once more.

It was at a busy park, one you had come to many times before. Mike and you held hands like a couple fresh off of their honeymoon, arms swinging softly as you walked. There was some event going on, not one you had particularly planned on attending but you had come to the park so you may as well have stayed and enjoyed it. Your children ran a few feet in front of you, young enough to still enjoy the freedom of fresh air yet old enough for Mike and you to feel comfortable with them running off without you.

You steered along the outskirts of a gathered crowd, eyes flicking between your kids and the people, moving along to the soft music that was playing. Many had paper plates in their hands, the white paper sagging under the weight of the hot dogs and baked beans that had been provided.

All of a sudden, it was like a moment from some movie where everything else stopped for just a moment. Your eye caught onto a man -- probably around your age, maybe a little older -- and some memory passed out of your mind as quickly as it came in. Something about the greying hair and reassuring nod he gave his wife conjured something buried in you.

Then the strangest part of all followed -- the man looked at you and you could tell he felt the same thing.

You met the man’s gaze for no more than a second, your brows furrowing slightly and you felt the pang of familiarity that comes with high school reunions or old photographs, not strangers at the park.

(anoathisanoaththelosersgottosticktogetherright)

“Do we know him?” You leaned over to your husband, gesturing towards the man. “He looks so… familiar.”

(pointthewaybigbillwellfollow)

Mike met your gaze, watching the man look down at his daughter who said something to make him chuckle. There was something about him, something about the lanky limbs and caring face, the way his smile seemed to brighten his whole face. He was certainly familiar, but perhaps in the way that someone who is only the echo of another can be. Mike’s face twitched for a moment but then rested.

(somethinghappenstoyouwhenyouleavethistownthefartherawaythehazieritgets)

“Maybe?” Mike paused, shifting on his feet as he tilted his head to look at him. “You know, I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, the longer I look at him, the more right I think you are. He must just look like someone else.” You nodded, looking back at Mike before smiling. “Funny how that works.”

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iandeleonwrites · 4 years ago

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Ian’s Case: A Personal Statement for Grad School Admission

Personal Statement, Ian Deleón

“He felt something strike his chest, and that his body was being thrown swiftly through the air, on and on, immeasurably far and fast, while his limbs were gently relaxed.”

It was more than a decade ago when I first read those words. Written by the American author Willa Cather, Paul’s Case: A Study in Temperament has always felt to me like an intimate account of my own life penned by a woman one hundred years in the past.

That is a feeling which makes me proud; that my personal whims, fears, and desires, could find their echo long ago in a story about a young man and his pursuit of a meaningful life. Because of it, I felt a pleasing sense of historicity at a time when I was struggling so much with my own.

I grew up in Miami Beach. Literally not more than a block away from water for most of my life. My father had emigrated from Cuba with his family in 1980. My mother had come on a work visa from Brazil a few years later. They met on the beach, had an affair, and I came into the world in May of 1987.

My life was marked with in betweenness from the very beginning. My parents’ relationship did not last long, so I grew up traveling between houses. I had two families. I was American, but I was also Cuban and Brazilian. I even have a Brazilian passport. I spoke three languages fluently, but I couldn’t dance salsa or samba. I felt at home with the working class immigrants and people of color in my neighborhoods, but I often had to work hard to prove I wasn’t just some gringo with a knack for foreign tongues.

[A quick note on Paul’s Case––If it happens that the reader is not familiar with the short story, let me briefly summarize it here: A disenchanted youth in turn of the century Pittsburgh feels increasingly alienated from his schoolmates, his teachers and his family. His only comfort is his position as an usher at Carnegie Hall, where he loses himself in the glamour of the art life. Having no drive or desire to become an artist, however, the dandy Paul makes a spur of the moment criminal decision and elopes to New York City. There, he is able to live out his fantasies in a financial masquerade for about a week’s time, until the authorities back home finger him for monetary theft. Learning that his father is en route to the city to collect him, Paul travels to the countryside and flings himself in front of a speeding train, musing about the elegant brevity of winter flowers.]

When I first encountered Cather’s short story I was blown away by the parallels I saw between my own life and Paul’s. In 2005, fresh out of high school, I was living mostly with my father as my mother had relocated to faraway West Palm Beach. I was an usher at the local concert hall, a job I cherished enough to volunteer my time for free. I became entranced by the world of classical music, opera, theater, and spectacle––often showing up for work early and roaming the performance spaces, probing high and low like some kind of millenial phantom.

In school, however, I had no direction, no plan. I had good enough grades, but no real motivation, and worst of all, I thought, no discernible talent. I probably resented my father for not being cultured enough to teach me about music, theater, and the arts. No one in my family had ever even been to a museum, or sat before a chamber orchestra. And it didn’t seem to matter to them either, they could somehow live blissfully without it.

Well I couldn’t. I began to mimic the fervor with which Paul immersed himself in that world, while also exhibiting the same panic at the thought of not being able to sustain my treasured experiences without a marketable contribution to them. But here is where Paul and I take divergent paths.

I was attending the Miami Dade Honors College, breezing my way towards an associate’s degree. I took classes in Oceanography, Sociology, Creative Writing, Acting and African Drumming. I was experimenting and falling in love with everything.

But it was my Creative Writing professor, Michael Hettich, who really encouraged the development of my nascent writing talent. Up until that point my ideas only found their expression through class assignments, particularly book reports and essays on historical events. My sister had always felt I had a way with words, but I just attributed this to growing up in a multicultural environment amongst a diversity of native languages.

As a result of that encouragement I began to write poetry, little songs and treatments for film ideas based on the short stories we were talking about in class. Somehow, thanks to those lines of poetry and a few amateur photographic self portraits, I was admitted to the Massachusetts College of Art & Design for my BFA program.

There, I attended classes in Printmaking, Paper Making, Performance Art, Video Editing, and Glass Blowing. I was immersed in culture, attending lectures and workshops, adding new words to my vocabulary: “New Media” and “gestalt”. I saw my first snowfall. I had the dubious honor of appearing at once not Hispanic and yet different enough. I was overwhelmed. I felt increasingly disenchanted and out of place in New England, yet my work flourished and grew stronger.

It was during this time that I developed a passion for live performance and engagement with an audience. I also worked with multi-channel video and sculptural installations. Always, I commented on my family history, grappling with it, the emigrations and immigrations. I even returned to those early short stories from Miami Dade, one time doing an interpretive movement piece based on The Yellow Wallpaper. Most often I talked about my father. He was even in a few of my projects. He was a good sport, though we still had the occasional heated political disagreement. We never held any grudges, and made up again rather quickly. It would always be that way, intense periods of warming and cooling. A tropical temperament, I suppose.

I continued to take film-related classes in Boston, but my interests gradually became highly abstracted, subtle, and decidedly avant-garde. I had no desire to work in a coherently narrative medium. This would eventually change, but for now, I let my ambitions and aspirations take me where they would.

I returned home to Miami for a spell after graduation. I traveled the world for five months after that. I moved back to Boston for another couple of years, because it was comfortable I suppose, though I was fed up with the weather.

Finally, I wound up in NYC. Classic story: I followed a charming young woman, another performance artist as luck would have it, a writer too, and a bit of an outsider. We were quickly engaged and on the first anniversary of our meet cute we were married on a gorgeous piece of land in upstate new york, owned by an older performance-loving couple from the city. Piece of land doesn’t quite do it justice, we’re talking massive tracts, hidden acres of forest, sudden lakes, fertile fields, and precocious wildlife. As they say in the movies, it really is all about location, location, location.

Nearly all of our significant personal and professional achievements in the subsequent years have centered around this bucolic homestead. After meeting, courting, researching and eventually getting married there, we soon decided we would stage our most ambitious project to date in this magical space––we would shoot...a movie.

We hit upon the curious story of an eighteenth century woman in England called Mary Toft. Dear Mary became famous for a months-long ruse that involved her supposed birthing of rabbits, and sometimes cats. The small town hoax ballooned into a national controversy when it was eventually exposed by some of the king’s physicians. My wife and I were completely enthralled by this story and its contemporary implications. Was Mary wholly complicit in the mischievous acts, or was she herself a sort of duped victim...of systematic abuse at the hands of her family, her husband, her country?

We soon found a way to adapt and give this tale a modern twist that recast Mary as a woman of color alone in the woods navigating a host of creepy men, a miscarriage, and a supernatural rabbit.

Over the course of nine months, our idea gestated and began taking the form of a short film screenplay. This was something neither of us had done or been adequately trained to do before. But we knew we wanted it to be special, it was our passion project. We knew we didn’t want it to look amateurish––we were too old for that. So we took out a loan, hired an amazing camera crew, and in three consecutive days in the summer of 2017 we filmed our story, Velvet Cry. It was the most difficult thing either of us had undertaken...including planning our nuptial ceremony around our difficult families.

It was an incredible experience––intoxicating––also quite maddening and stressful. But it was all worth it. Because of our work schedules, it took us another year to finish post production on the film, but throughout that process, I knew I had found my calling. I would be a writer, and I would be a Director.

Perhaps I had been too afraid to dream the big dream before. Perhaps I had lacked the confidence, or simply, the life experience to tackle the complexity of human emotions, narratives, and interactions––but no longer. This is what I wanted to do and I had to find a way to get better at doing it.

In the intervening months, I have set myself on a course to develop my writing abilities as quickly as I could in anticipation of this application process. I know I have some latent talent, but it has been a long time since I’ve been in an academic setting, and in any case, I have never really attempted to craft drama on this scale before.

I’ve read many books, listened to countless interviews, attended online classes, and most importantly, written my heart out since relocating down the coast to the small college town of Gainesville in Central Florida with my wife in June of 2018. It was through a trip to her alma mater of Hollins University that we learned about the co-ed graduate program in screenwriting a few months ago. After all the debt I accrued in New England, I didn’t think I would ever go back to college, though I greatly enjoyed the experience. But what we learned about the program filled me with confidence and a desire to share in the wonderful legacy of this school that my wife is always gushing about.

Our Skype conversation with Tim Albaugh proved to be the deciding factor. I knew instantly that I wanted to be a part of anything that he was involved with, and I had the feeling that my ideas would truly be nurtured and harnessed into a craft––something tangible I could be proud of and use to propel my career.

I continue to mine my childhood and adolescence in Miami for critical stories and characters, situations that shed light on my own personal experience of life. I’ve found myself coming back to Paul’s Case. No longer caught up in the character’s stagnant, brooding longings for a grander life, I’m now able to revisit the story, appreciating the young man’s anxieties while evaluating how it all went so fatally wrong for Paul. There was no reason to despair, no cause for lost hope. I would take the necessary steps to become the artist I already know myself to be. The screenplay I am submitting as my writing sample is a new adaptation of this story, making Paul my own, and giving him a little bit of that South Florida flavor.

I will close by reiterating how I have visited Hollins, and heard many a positive review from the powerful women I know who have attended college there. As a graduate student, I know Hollins can help me to become a screenwriter, to become a filmmaker. This is the only graduate program to which I am applying––I have a very good feeling about all this.

I want to be a Hollins girl.

#college essay #paul's case #queer writing #hollins university

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