#it just doesnt even seem like a smart business decision
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What are your really petty American Girl Doll complaints? Mine are I wish they sold more earrings, I hate the dolls shoes with heels cuz the dolls then stand weird, and I also wish they sold the bedroom/larger playsets accessories separately
#american girl doll#like I know people sell some on etsy and ive considered buying#but im also worried if it will turn their ears a weird color or they wont fit#but getting directly from ag just let me know they should be fine#also im think about like kids who may not know to get doll stuff from other places#it also just doesnt make sense to me that they only have one other set available besides the one you get with the piercing#it just doesnt even seem like a smart business decision#and id love to have some of the little accessories that come with larger items#but i cant afford the big item nor do i have the space nor do i think id want a large playset if i had the space and money#but an accessory pack i think i could afford and find a place for all the things#and then ag could get more sales cuz i know im not the only one#and people who buy both the big set and accessories can get like 5 or 10 dollars off#at had this im my drafts for days cuz i remembered their was another one i had in mind but forgot but i remembered it today#and thats about the heels on their shoes#like rn my Melody is in Claudies blue flapper dress with the heeled shoes#and she has a weird lean and all the dolls have that with the heels#cuz their legs/feet werent made to have a little heel#and no i dont want ag to change that i just dont want them to have shoes like this in the first place#like if you want a heel or height give them platform shoes like i know it wont go with every outfit but at least they arent leaning#my post#please to answer the question#i want to know im not the only petty one complaining about dolls
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Meet the Phighters!
This ref is a few weeks old and i revised some of their designs!! Just have a bit more of info dump of these 3!
As of this time.
Quiver
19yo/5'11
He/Him
An orphaned phighter that was found and taken under the wing of Chord and Punch
Although he "dislikes" Chord. This is just because he finds it frustrating that Chord is somewhat overprotective of him and doesnt allow a lot of opportunities (he has reasons)
He adapts very quickly to his environment thanks to his quick thinking and fast decision making
Quiver seemingly finds it easier to talk to/with Punch, often opening up and sharing a bit of his moments
Hes from Playground, an outer town that is.
Chord
The smarts of the team, as well as the more "adult" like demon
He mostly takes care of paperwork and tech stuff for the group
Mostly goes on solo infiltration missions and this causes both Quiver and Punch to worry a lot (They just care very much)
24yo/6'2
He/Him
Blackrock, but he easily gets cold even at 23c which is why he wears a lot of thick and layered clothes
Terrible sleep schedule due to a lot of projects and work he has to focus on 24/7
He kills his enemies so quickly no one is able to predict his next moves :3 (he actually plans everything from the start)
Punch
26yo/6'0
He/they
The most laid back of the group
Also the most dangerous for some reason. Hes a well known demon in the mercenary industry.
His past is pretty unclear to both Chord and Quiver, all that they know is that they ran away from Thieves Den and somehow ended up in this line of business to survive
He might seem intimidating at first, but hes got a soft heart inside.
He was the one to suggest taking in Quiver, and Chord only agreed due to begging from them.
He misses home
Their eyes are a special case, even he doesnt know how to use his powers properly. Its also the reason why they have a secret bounty on his head.
Phun Phact!
They live together!
Quiver really likes to eat
Punch remembers Chord's schedule to the core
[They] met each other when they were both 19 and 21 respectively
Quiver met them 3 years ago
Someone is after Punch
I draw Punch/Chord as a joke please dont take it seriously (unless you wanna :3)
Punch is very flexible thanks to an exercise schedule he was taught at a young age.
Punch has biological parents
Quiver had biological parents
Chord has a non-biological sister
If given a dynamic i would choose found family for Punch and Quiver
If given a dynamic i would choose Stays/Leaves for Chord and Punch (teehee)
Punch likes noodles, Chord likes pastries, Quiver likes potatoes
#phighting fanart#phighting!#phighting#fanart#roblox#roblox fanart#noxx's ocs#my ocs#oc art#original character#oc stuff#RAGGHH BRAINROT IS REAL#slowly im startijg to warm up to punch/chord but i cant bring myself to do it bc of plot reasons
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Family : A Nessian Fanfic
Day 19 of Nessian month: Prompt: Nessian bonding with the IC.
Nesta gazed upon Cassian, Her hand firmly in his as Cassian knocked on the front doors of the river house, Feyre opened the door, a smile on her face, a hand pressed firmly to her swollen stomach before a five year old Nyx grinned at the sight of his aunt and uncle flinging himself in his auntâs arms.
âAunt Nes! You came!â Nyx exclaimed. A happy chuckle escaping her lips.
âOf course I came. I wouldnât miss this for the world.â Nesta smiled as Cassian cocked his head to the side staring at Nyx.
âWhat? No love for your favorite uncle?â He stated as Nyxâs eyes widened with excitement
âIs Uncle Az with you?â He questioned causing Nesta to hold in her laugh. Only five years old and he already mastered the art of a good come back. Even Feyre was reining in her smile.
âSay hi to your other uncle, sweetie.â Feyre encouraged him as he wiggled himself out of Nestaâs arms and hugged Cassian.
âHi Uncle Cass.â He greeted. Nesta had no real idea why Nyx had grown more of an attachment to her than Cassian, but she guessed she would never really know that answer. Kids were always a mystery.
âCome inside, weâre just getting to cutting the cake.â Feyre explained as Nesta and Cassian entered Nyx holding onto Feyreâs hand.
Cassianâs hand slid into hers before they entered the sitting area. Several of Nyxâs friends gathered around a table as he chatted away. He really was a social one.
Cassian pulled out a chair for Nesta, she thanked him as they took a spot beside Mor who greeted Casan with a hug.
âLong time, no see, stranger.â Mor greeted. Her smile dazzling across the whole room.
âThatâs what happens when you go to the court of Nightmares for a whole six months.â
Mor shrugged taking a sip of her wine.
âItâs not easy to undo the damage the years have caused there, but perhaps in a few more years The Court of Nightmares will be a thing of the past and it can start anew.â
A fresh start. Something that a lot of the Night Court had needed. progress was slow, but nothing ever happened over night.
Nestaâs eyes drew to Cassian, the curve of his lips at his friends accomplishment. The determination she had showed to take over the Court of Nightmares after her fathers passing and do what she thought she should have always done. Made more dreamers in the city of Nightmares. Nesta had even offered her assistance if Mor ever became overwhelmed. Which she had appreciated.
âHow are things in Illyria?â Mor asked, her eyebrows raised in question at Cassian, whoâs own smiled beamed, his arm going around Nesta. Pride shone in them with their accomplishments.
âWe finally managed to convince Devlon to combine a two small units made up of both Illyrian and Valkeryie warriors. One of them are the younger generations who wish to become apart of the ranks and the others are the ones who have already went through the rite.â
âThatâs amazing, I knew you two could do it.â Mor smiled looking over to Nesta.
âI couldnât have done it without the steel will determination of my mate,â Cassian explained pressing a kiss to the side of her temple.
âDonât forget Emerie and Gwyn.â Nesta added.
âHow could I ever?â Cassian smiled pressing a kiss to her hair.
âI thought the mating bond was supposed to die down some after a couple of years?â Amren asked sliding down in a chair, Varian by her side.
Cassian smirked at her. âYou know thatâs not how that works.â
âI dread the day you procreate boy. Hopefully the babe has its motherâs smarts.â
âI hope so too.â Cassian told her making Nesta feel warm in her chest.
She had been thinking a lot about having children lately. Been having dreams of Cassian filling her with life. thinking of the one they would create together. Been gazing at the tea she had been using as her birth control for the past five years and been wanting to have a conversation about what his thoughts were if she stopped taking it, if they had started trying.
but they both had been so busy lately getting everything together that it had been a while since the two of them had time to be intimate, Had time to talk about the future that she wanted to have with him. Would they be able to have a baby? She knew getting pregnant as a fae could be difficult, but she was willing to try. She just needed a moment with him where they both werenât exhausted.
Amren smirked seeming to catch how deep Nestaâs thoughts ran.
âI guess weâll see when the time is right.â She simply said leaning into Varian. Her wedding ring flashing in the light.
Before Cassian could say more, the door opened Azriel stepping through it as Nyx hugged him. Azriel placing Nyx on his back and carrying him into the dining room.
âBe careful there, Uncle Az, you may throw your back out.â Cassian teased earning him an eye roll from Azriel.
âIâm in better shape than you.â Azriel retorted. âI bet you couldnât even lift him to your shoulders.â
âIs that so?â Cassian challeneed as Nesta heard a far off voice say.
âI hate to break up your bet with my son, but itâs time for presents.â Rhys told them taking Nyx for Azrielâs shoulder. A wide grin on the boys face.
âPresents!â Nyx shouted happily running towards them as the other children followed. Feyre smiled rubbing at her abdomen absentmindedly.
âDo you think heâll have any trouble not being an only child when his sister arrives?â Feyre asked as Rhys beamed.
âNot at all. though there definitely will be an adjustment period.â Rhys assured her as Nesta looked back to Cassian. His gaze on Rhys and Feyre as Rhysand pressed a kiss to her sisterâs cheek.
Nesta had always knew that Cassian had longed for a family of his own. It wasnât that his close circle of friends wasnât enough for him or even her, but she knew Cassian had always wanted children. She had been hesitant afraid if she would be a good mother or not.
He had assured her there was no rush for children. That he would wait hundreds of years if he had to so she could be ready for them. Nesta just had to make sure she was doing this as much for herself as she was for Cassian. She would not bring a child into this world unless both her and Cassisn were ready for one.
Nesta joined the others sitting down next to Feyre as Cassian joined Rhys and Azriel having a conversation that Nesta had no clue what it was about.
Elain was beside Mor and Amren, her laughter flooding over to them as she sent both her sisters a slight wave. Nesta waved back before turning back to Feyre, not sure how to start this particular conversation as they watched Nyx open his presents. His eyes growing wide at the mini paint set his mother had gotten him.
âThanks mom!â Nyx said flinging his arms around Feyreâs neck as she pulled her son closer.
âYouâre welcome baby.â Feyre said hugging him as Nesta took in the sight. She knew she wanted that with her own child. But she was still afraid that she would not be any good at motherhood.
Nesta watched as Nyx opened his other gifts, watching as he opened the toy that Nesta and Cassian had gotten for him. Thanking both of them with a hug.
Nestaâs smile bloomed as she beheld the hug between Nyx and Cassian, Could almost see Cassian with their own son or daughter, How good of a father he would be. She wondered when Cassian saw her with Nyx if he thought the same thing.
âIs something on your mind?â Feyre asked when they both were alone in the kitchen. they were cleaning up while the others were in the living room showing Nyx how to use his toy and helping him set them up. Cassian had always been great at building things. He was putting the others to shame. A smile tugged at Nestaâs lips.
âWhen did you know?â She asked as Feyre stopped on the dish she was working on.
âKnow about what?â She replied scrubbing at a really stubborn stain as Nesta handed her a better sponge.
âThank you.â She said as Nesta dried the dishes Feyre handed to her.
âHow did you know you were ready to have a baby?â She asked. Feyre stopping mid scrub.
âAre you and Cassian-?â She started but Nesta interrupted her.
âNo. At least not yet. I-I havenât brought up the conversation with him yet.â Shd told Feyre. Feyre nodded in understanding.
âI can understand that. Itâs not a decision to take lightly. Thereâs a lot of factors to take into account.â
âLike how I feel like I would be a terrible mother?â
Feyre looked at Nesta with the same eyes they both had inherited from their mother.
âWhat makes you believe youâll be a terrible mother?â Feyre asked. going back to the dishes.
âBecause I couldnât even take care of us when it mattered most.â She confided to Feyre.
âIt wasnât your job to take care of us. It was our fathers. â
âIt wasnât your job to take care of us either. but you still did it anyway.â
âIt still doesnt mean it would have been right no matter which of us took care of the other. perhaps the real mistake was that we didnt take care of each other, but we were young and weâll learn from those mistakes, God knows I still make them when it comes to my own child.â
âPlease. Youâre the definition of the perfect mother.â Nesta told her drying the dishes Feyre had worked on.
âI wouldnât say that. I still have the deal Rhys and I made which in retrospect wasnât the brightest idea if you want to have kids.â
âYou made a mistake, it happens to all of us.â
âI will admit we didnât really think it through. the deal I mean. But no one ever said every decision was a rational one, but youâre deflectin. We were talking about you wanting kids.â
âI know itâs been years but I still have those intrusive thoughts that Iâll end up just like our mother.â Nesta told her.
âWe canât live our life in fear Nesta. and remember you also have a support system in your corner. If you want to have kids than thatâs your choice, well yours and Cassianâs. Just make sure that youâre ready to commit to it. To put that child before anything else, because when your baby comes. Itâll be your whole world. only you can determine what mother youâll be, The past be damned.â
âThanks Feyre.â
âDonât mention it.â Feyre smiled as Cassian turned towards them getting up from his spot and heading towards the kitchen until he stopped where they were at.
âIâve come to relieve you, my high lady.â Cassian said as Feyre chuckled.
âThank God you have spared me of the tedious task that is dish washing.â Feyre teased giving him a pat on the shoulder.
âIâll see you two when youâre finished,â Feyre told them heading to sit down beside Rhys and Nyx.
âWere you two having fun in here?â Cassian teased grabbing a dish and washing it.
âArenât we always?â Nesta smirked grabbing the dish from him and drying it.
âWhat were you two talking about?â Cassian asked. âIt seemed like a pretty intense conversation.â
âIt was a sister thing andâŠthereâs something I want to discuss with you when we get home.â She told him.
âNothing bad I hope.â
âNo. Itâs just a conversation that Iâve been wanting to have with you for a while now.â She confided in him, He nodded, relief filling his features as they worked on the dishes. talking about the party. When things were winding down Feyre pulled Nesta into a hug as Nesta also hugged Nyx,
âGoodbye Aunt Nes.â
âGoodbye buddy, Iâll see you next week when you come spend the night,â
Nyxâs eyes lit up at the sound of that, the house adored Nyx as it had any other person, Maybe even favored him slightly. Though she didnât blame the house. it had been a while since a child had been in it.She wondered how the house would feel to have one there permanently.
When Cassian and Nesta went home, She had found her answer in a stack of novels on the house libraryâs table. Books on motherhood, what to expect when youâre expecting. Nesta felt a warmth in her chest as the house also presented her the herbs for her tea. She hadnât taken her dosage today.
Footsteps sounded in the door of the library as the books vanished from sight but the tea remained. She had made up her mind. Had known her answer as Cassian approached her.
âWhat was it you wanted to talk about?â He asked taking a seat beside her noting the tea.
Nesta took a deep breath. âDid you mean it? When you said you wanted kids?â
Casian nodded. âItâs something Ive always wanted. What brought this up?â He asked as Nesta took another breath.
âI was thinking-â Nesta started. âAbout the future youâve talked about for us. How you said you wanted kids?â
âDid you change your mind? Did you not want kids? Is that why you said you wanted to talk?â Cassian asked.
âNo, I-I wanted to talk to you because I- I want to try for a baby. I-I want to make a baby with you.â
Cassian eyes snapped to hers, searching her face before he stood up, his calloused and warm hand going to her face.
âYou want a baby?â Cassian asked. Nesta nodded. And she did. Gods did she want a baby with her mate. the love of her life.
âYes.â She whispered to him as he smiled. The smile as bright as the dawn as he lifted trash can up eyes flickering to get tea.
Nestaâs smile curved upwards before she took the tea tossing it in the trash before Cassianâs lips camd crashing down to hers.
He hoisted her on the desk, her back leaning against it as Cassian pulled away smiling down at her in the most breathtaking gaze she had ever saw and whispered.
âThen by all means mate,letâs get stared.â
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AU In which the beta Trolls cheat In sgrub in order to avoid the jack situation and managed to shoot themselves back in time onto alternia. They get separated into multiple small groups.
Story follows mainly follows karkat and gamzee at first. This is well before murderstuck, and gamzee is useful for all of two seconds before getting horrendous sick from withdrawal. It might not be so bad if they had a reliable way of getting food and other resources(such as an alchemizer) but sadly they've found themselves in the middle of a city pre-second rebellion with not a penny to either of their names.
Karkat is stressed. He is very stressed. He has to find a way to provide for both of them in a matter a nights without also getting caught and dieing. He makes a smart decision to hide his sign, not because he realizes it puts him in danger, no, because he immediately decides the only course of action that makes sense is to turn to a life of crime(petty theft) and he doesn't want his crimes attached to his sign incase he has to sign-off on some legal bullshit later.
Gamzee is dieing. Not really he's okay 60% of the time and does what he can to help, but honestly the boy can't stand for 30 seconds without trying to throw up his guts. Gamzee pretty much serves as a decoy to throw off anyone looking for karkat. He is the least intimidating thing out there, but boy can he play up the "let me call my friends " card, which with his sign is terrifying enough to prevent any mildly inconvenienced person to ask questions.
At some point karkat runs into dualscar. Now he knows of dualscar through eridan, and he's a little freaked out at first but nothing comes of it so whatever. But then he keeps running into him. It might be partially his fault. Drunk people are really easy to rob and all the bars are a short walk from the docks so of course he's probably going to run into a couple of sea dwellers. Besides, he's only ever spoken 2 words to the fucker on accident and he doubts he was even noticed. As long as he keeps his distance he should be fine.
Gamzeeâs getting a whole lot worse a whole lot faster, and karkat has pissed off the wrong person. He might have accidentally stolen from and subsequently injured a legislators' quad and now they need to flee town REAL fucking quick. Only problem being they don't have a map, and all the maps in town are the really fucking stupid ones that are far more complicated than they need to be for the sake of- what? Looking nice? Either way none of them are simple road maps and maybe if he had enough time to stare at them he could figure out where to go without getting lost, but time isn't something they have and gamzee knows how to read them quickly, so he packs the clown up and carries him to the map board. Gamzee can't see straight and even the small amount of light from the partially blocked moons manages to feel as if he just stared directly into the sun but boy does he try.
Dualscar meanwhile is sitting across the street in one of those face outdoor restaurant tables watching these two kids scramble to read a map. He downs whatever he's drinking and walks over because what in the fuck are they doing?
Karkat tells him to fuck off and mind his business.
He doesn't.
Gamzee figures out where they need to go and points.
They're offered a ride.
They both adamantly refuse because no absolutely not that is a horrible idea they will not be doing that ever. Then a legislator walks around a street corner in the background and they seriously consider it.
They both end up on the boat one way or the other, and not necessarily because they had a choice. Dualscar writes gamzee off as dead immediately and has him put with the other prisoners on the ship to be forgotten about. He doesnt know what he has and doesn't really care either. Karkat on the other hand is treated decently well. He got stuck doing basic bitch ship work, but hes fine. Any free time he has he spends taking care of gamzee who lost all coherence shortly after being picked up.
When they hit the docks karkat is paid for his time and told to run off now. Karkat is pleasantly surprised and is glad to be back on land, theres just one problem, wheres gamzee? Karkat is basically told "haha yeah no I'm keeping that one" and is no longer pleased. After one of many long winded and empty threats, he's then told the ships leaving in a week and he's free to join them again if he wishes.
Angry and alone karkat stops off into the new city.
He return, rather quickly at that, after spending everything he had on medicine and other essentials. Immediately he's back at Gamzeeâs side. The ship sets sail again right on schedule and gamzee finally seems to be improving. It takes a few months for him to figure out how to stand on his own but once he gets it he's as hyperactive as ever to his own detriment. His balance is shot, and he's somehow clumsier than before. He keeps getting himself hurt and even worse than that, he's annoying the guards with his constant rambling. Karkat has on multiple occasions been sent down to shut him up for a few hours.
The second he's able to work, he's put to work and thank fuck that seems to shut him up. Any time they hit land they're both paid but only one of them is allowed to leave at any given time. It's stupid, it's annoying, they both know why it's done, and it's not like there's anything they can do about it. At least they're living better than they were.
Enviably karkat gets hurt. They get hit with a storm and karkat arm get pinch between two bits of metal. The injuries isn't terrible but it did rip off a decent amount of skin. Even in the heavy rain it's not possible to hide. While no one paid him any mind in the chaos once the storm had settled he's well aware of how royally fucked he is. Gamzee for the first time anyone has seen him is pissed. He's hyper aggressive towards anyone in his vicinity. The second karkat could be whisked away he boarded them in one of the sleeping quarters and threatens anyone who tries to open the door. It gets bad enough dualscar has to come in and swat at the both of them for being dumb. Karkats having a panic attack. Lil ol' gamzee who nearly breaks his neck 3 times a weak tripping over his own shoes is squaring up for a fight. There is no fight. No one cares about karkat. Infact they were keenly aware of karkat's blood the second they saw him all that time ago. Why do you think they fought so hard to keep hold of some random wrigglers? That boat is the safest place for them. When dual was asked why heâd help them at all if he knew, he just shrugged and said he owed someone a favor and keeping karkat alive was his way of repaying it.
Shit gets squared away. Sort of. The both of them are still extremely uncomfortable about the whole ordeal for months but not a thing comes out of it. Nothing bad at least. The two find themselves getting more comfortable on the ship. They start seeing the rest if the crew as friends and grow tight bonds with a lot of them.
Karkat, now freed from the constant nagging fear of getting found out, ends up far more bold than he otherwise would be. The rule stating only one is allowed to leave at a time is still there, but pushing his luck is his new favorite pass time.
Gamzee sustained numerous injuries from his sickness. Even sweeps later he still hasn't fully recovered. It's not obvious. He functions just fine on his own but one night he'd been out walking the town on his own and he ran across a group of subjugs. He's younger and smaller than the lot of them, not to mention a stranger, but they still invited him out for drinks and gossip. He goes, and hours later he returns safely, tipsy and a little high off whatever they were smoking, but safe. Dual take him out back to yell at him almost as soon as he returns. He's confused. He's gone drinking on his own before, and he's been out with karkat numerous times more, and never has he been screamed at for it. He takes offense. The only difference he can see is them being purple. They're family, his family, but that doesn't mean he'd run off with them. He'd never leave karkat behind, not ever would he dream of abandoning him. But that wasn't the problem. He put karkat in danger. He put the crew in danger. Is he really so deadpanned that he didn't think partying with the grand highblood and crew was a bad idea? Now Gamzeeâs lost. When did he run into his ancestors? No one introduced themselves as such. He hadn't seen them. Didn't really see anyone actually, especially not the person wearing the same sign as him, embroidered fancily across their chest and down their arms.
Hes blind. For all he fought that label, stating he still saw shapes and colors, for the first time he had to admit it to someone. He begged him not to tell karkat. The last thing he wanted was to worry him. He was told he needed to, at some point, preferably soon, tell him himself. He left the conversation with a new rule placed on him for the time being. He's not allowed off the ship alone anymore.
#homestuck#gamzee makara#karkat vantas#fic idea#can you tell i reallly like blind gamzee aus?#I will never actually write this#Although i do have quite a bit more planed#does this count as a pirate AU?#this idea is up for adoption#i have too many wips to even attempt this one#Homestuck AU#gamkar
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Milk Bread
Oikawa!Reader x Ushijima
a/n: bahahaha oikawa would literally disown yall though
anon request:Â Hiii if your request is still open could you also do an Oikawa's lil sis!Reader x Ushijima please~ fufufufu
ushijima and i could go get our own farm and have our own cows and horses and uggghhh
this entire,,,,, fiasco was an actual accident
it all started when you were so hungry that you ended up eating tooruâs milk bread
you were part of the girls track team in seijoh and competitions were starting soon so the team has been making practice mandatory during lunch as well
this caused you to only be able to survive off of snacks rather than your normal bento so you were blazing hungry when you got home
and when you are hungry, you go on a rampage
your brother was staying later practice so he wasnt home when you arrived
the fridge door almost unhinged and out the window by how roughly and quickly you opened it
the only thing in there was bottles of water and vegetables and you were not hungry enough to eat freaking raw onions
then you searched all over the cabinets for anything edible until you stumbled upon a clearly hidden milk bread
you guessed that tooru hid it bc he knew either you or takeru would eat it but heh, he didnt hide it good enoughÂ
finders keepers, right?
and as long as he doesnt find out it was you, itd be fine
you giddily opened the bag and ripped off a piece before smiling at how delicious it wasÂ
but this was cut short
you were so caught up in your happiness with the food that you missed iwa and tooru coming home until you heard your brother scream
âY/N-CHAN!â
your eyes flew open and you froze, mid-biteÂ
his eyes were wide and his mouth was agape as he watched you scarf down the rest of the bag quickly before dashing upstairs
but tooruâs shout for iwa-chan made the buff guy snatch you from the hallway despite you kicking and screaming at him to let go of you
âIWA-CHAN NO!!!!!â
you yelled but he just tightened his hold on you
âi bought oikawa that bag, y/nâ
you pouted then crossed your arms
âyou bought it for an oikawa, not a specific oikawa thoughâ
so tooru ordered you to go to his favorite bakery, which was all the way out there like an hour away, and buy him a dozen bags of milk bread
âTOORU YOURE GOING TO GET FAT!â
*offended oikawa*
âI BURN ALL OF IT DURING PRACTICE ANYWAYS!â
âhm, explains why you have no cakeâ
y/n stop thats so mean !!!!
but doorkawa though
so there you were, shoving all of the stock they have in the store into the big cartÂ
if someone were to walk by you right now, theyd stare at the cart then at you weirdly for being a milk bread addiction
and thats exactly what happened
ushijima went to the bakery bc tendou won a bet and demanded a milk bread from this specific bakery
so he was entering the building, a single milk bread in mind, when he saw you, literally shoving all the bags down with an arm into the cart
he paused, like 5 feet away from you, just watching as you continued to take all the bags they had in stock into the cart
but he just wanted one bag so he went up to your cart and wordlessly took a bag which you saw and caught his arm
âum, excuse me, what are you doing?â
he gave you a stoic face
âi walked 30 minutes for this bag of milk bread. im sure you can leave one for someone elseâ
you were about to retort when you saw who this guy was
ofc if your brother was oikawa tooru, youd know his hatred for the apparent âfarmer idiotâ ushijima wakatoshi from shiratorizawa
the familiar eyes and the furrowed eyebrows
yep, this had to be him
âyou,,,, ushiwakaâ
he nodded
âyes. now if youâll excuse me, ill be goingâ
but you again held him back
âushijima-san! take this-all of this! i dont need it anymore!â
you pushed the cart in his direction before bolting out the store in a hurry
now ushijima is known to predict almost anything that came his way
but never has he even THOUGHT that a girl would give him a cart filled with nearly 50 bags of milk bread
the store lady pushed the cart to the cashier and only did he finally snapped out of it when she told him the total
âoh, um, you forgot this bag tooâ
what was he going to do with all of this bread?
you pedaled your bike home and when tooru saw you empty handed, he started shouting
but you just faked a pout
âushijima wakatoshi-san took it from meâ
his ears turned red
and all he could see was red
i see RED! rED! ooOOhH rED!!!!
he got his phone out and dialed a number before shouting into it
âYOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS, IWA-CHAN! USHIWAKA-!â
ngl, you didnt really think that he would completely forget about it but he fell for it
you planned to use tooruâs hatred for him and just a single utter of his name could completely brainwash him from the milk bread stealing situation
âMAYBE HES GOING TO BUY ALL THE MILK BREAD IN THE WORLD UNTIL I GO TO THE DAMN SHIRATORIZAWA! WHAT IF HES DOING THAT?! IWA-CHAN-!â
the entire situation completely slipped your mind a few weeks later and you even forgot that you met ushijima and left him a cart of the treats
but that was quickly remembered
similar to your brother, there was one day per week where you have no track practice so you found yourself in their gym at wednesday, just waiting for iwa and tooru to finish practice
you were just busy doing your homework and trying to help kyoken with all of his missed work when kindaichi shrieked from the side
âushijima wakatoshi!â
JAPONN
at the mention of his name, everyone turned to him and followed his line of sight where indeed, the tall farmer boy stood at the door
oikawa tooru was so shocked to see him and his nerve to show up at HIS TURF that he didnt say anything
âhello. is oikawa y/n here?â
then all hell broke lose
tooru was screaming at you in betrayal
iwa was shouting and hitting oikawa to stop and holding him back from lunging at you
the others were yelling at how you knew this famous player
while kyoken just sitting there all chill
âyou know that guy?â
âuh-well-kinda?â
âniceâ
you quickly packed up your stuff, confused and surprised, before bolting down the bleachers to the door where you grabbed ushiwakaâs hand to drag him away from the gym where tooru couldnt find you
you finally stopped by an alleyway about a street away from school and turned to him with scrunched eyebrows
âushijima wakatoshi-san! what are you doing here?!â
you whisper-yelledÂ
but he just unzipped his gym bag and handed you a bag of milk bread
you were so caught off guard that you just held it on your hands and stared at it
ushijima noticed your expression and pointed at the food
âi have a lot of it at home. i figured you wanted oneâ
you slowly looked up at him
âushijima-san,,,,, i,,, why-â
âyou seem to like milk bread seeing your cart full of it. i thought you still wanted one and i need to get rid of all of it anywaysâ
âbut,,,, you shouldnt have come all the way to seijoh! nii-chan-â
then you stopped
wait, hold on
how did he even know your name
âhow do you know my name, ushijima-san?â
he blinked
âyoure a known track runner in the prefecture in both the girls and boys. a friend of mine wanted to recruit you for the school team but you turned it downâ
you paused and chuckled
âah of course. i actually wanted to go but nii-chan considered it a betrayal so i couldnt goâ
âbut you shouldâve come to-â
âSHUT UP USHIJIMA! AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!â
tooruâs figure was panting a little bit away from behind ushijima and he was pointing at him heatedly
you sighed and face-palmed but you flinched when ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders and held you close
âshe has talents that could take her to far places. i understand that she refused it but you might have greatly influenced that decision and never asked her opinion about it. im here to ask her to re-think this decision and join us insteadâ
âYOURE NOT EVEN IN THE TRACK TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!â
tooru raged and ran forward before grabbing your arm roughly to pry you away from the dirty touch of ushiwaka
âweâre leaving, ushijima. and you better not talk to my little sister againâ
he hissed and dragged you away but you turned your head and raised a hand
âlater, ushijima-san!â
âSHUT UP Y/N!â
after that, ushijima knew to approach you in secret
you saw him by the gates after practice and you hurriedly hid him away from sight bc the moment someone saw that familiar purple jacket, theyd know immediately
âushijima-san! what do you want now?â
you whispered and again, he reached into his bag to give you a bag of milk bread
âi need to get rid of them. and i also want to hear your opinions about joining shiratorizawa next yearâ
you laughed, softly clutching the bag
âin truth, the bread was for nii-chan. and regarding next year, i dont think im leaving seijoh, ushijima-san, so sorryâ
he nodded
âi understand. but i do hope you will think about it, oikawa-sanâ
you cringed at the formality coming from someone as important as him
âplease, call me y/n. it sounds really weird from youâ
âokay, y/n-sanâ
âno, just y/nâ
ây/nâ
âgoodâ
then these meetings turned to another, then twice more, then everyday
it was becoming a routine at this point
track practice ended at 6, about 30 minutes before the seijoh volley so you could easily slip away from tooru, and ushiâs ended around 5 so he was able to meet you at the alley by your school
tbh, you didnt understand how you were meeting as such a shady place and you didnt understand why he would take such a long trip just to give you milk bread and ask you about the school
however, that soon changed
soon, you just talked about school and life in general while munching on food
he would occassionally talk about this first year goshiki and some setter shirabu and how they fought constantly
you knew a little bit of his best friend tendou and his dorm life back in shiratorizawa
he knew that you werenât exactly in track for fun, but for scholarships since you werent exactly smart
part of you wondered if he used the dozens of milk bread in his house as an excuse to see you and make you eat them as compensation when he couldve just sent them back
yet eventually,
your conversations helped you know a little bit of each other without the title of fastest runner oikawa y/n or u-19 japan ushijima wakatoshi
âtori accidentally broke a hurdle and sprained her knee so she had to sit out during practice. it was a mess because she was screaming about the pain and caused practice to end earlyâ
you whined while chewing
he remained quiet so you turned to look at him, who was just staring at you
âushijima-san? you okay?â
âwaka,, toshi. call me wakatoshiâ
you tilted your head to the side
âi,, i canât call you that, ushijima-sanâ
âplease, call me that. weâre friends, right?â
a genuine laugh escaped from you
âoh dear. i mean, yeah, weâre friends, i guess. but nii-chan would not appreciate this friendshipâ
âbut doesnât he like you having friends?â
he was confused as to why tooruâs even in the conversation
âno, ushijima-san. i meant, he would not like me being friends with youâ
âwhy does he have a say in this?â
you paused
he was right
why did tooruâs opinion matter?
why did it matter so much that youâve been hiding in this stinky alleyway with ushijima wakatoshi for a few weeks all because you were scared someone you knew saw you?
âwakatoshi-san, do you have a brother?â
ânoâ
âhm, makes senseâ
you laughed then looked away, straight at the dumpster that stood behind him a few feet away
âmy parents,,, are always working. even when i was young, they were constantly working so i dont really have good memories with them since they were rarely home. my sister, she was already in high school when i was born so the only person i really had was my nii-chanâ
ushijimaâs stare on you never wavered as he remained looking at you, inspecting you almost, the way your nose curved or your lips looked a little chapped or that crumb that stuck itself on the corner of your lip
âhe has always done everything for me,, in a way, he raised me and i appreciate everything hes done for me, yknow? and i want to repay him for all of that but im sorry to say this, but he doesnt exactly like you, wakatoshi-san. and me being friends with you, him not even knowing weâre meeting up like this, he would get very angry with me. and i dont to disappoint himâ
you looked down at the remaining bread and softly sighed
it annoyed you a little that you cared so much for what tooru thought
why couldnt you live your life?
why couldnât you just be your own person and meet people that you like?
âwe have only have 3 bags of milk bread leftâ
ushijimaâs comment took you aback bc its not like you just told him something so personal or anything
âhuh?â
âi need to buy some moreâ
you shook your head and waved your hands around
âwakatoshi-san, i just told you, like, something really personal-â
âbut i dont care about all that thoughâ
he blinked, confused as to why it mattered to him
âwhat-â
ây/n, havent you noticed that youâve been calling me by my first name?â
his question made you stop and realize that you were saying wakatoshi
âoikawa tooru is simply a person who helped raise you, he didnt make you nor does he have control over you. your life was given to you to live and create, not to be molded or shaped by someone elseâ
you nodded and patted his arm in appreciation, still awkward about having interactions with the guy
but he reached behind you and patted your back, averting his gaze forward
âyou have talent in track so i think you should keep running for a team that shares your skills. like your brotherâs talents deserve to be played in a team full of undefeatable playersâ
you chuckled and shot him a confused glance
âwakatoshi-san, youre over here telling me to do what i want yet youre telling me to do something elseâ
he seemed completely innocent to his hypocritical statement as he just looked at you
âim just influencing you. theres a differenceâ
you shook your head and continued eating your bread, throwing the entire topic behind your mind
âyoure right, wakatoshi-san. we do need to buy some more milk breadâ
little by little, you started to stray away from your brother
like you started coming home late and your wednesdays were now booked up with someone else
ofc he noticed and he went straight to iwa-chan to complain about it
by the second wednesday, he got fed up and actually cancelled practice which caused iwa to beat him up for stopping practice for something stupid
âlet your sister be, shittykawa!â
tooru pouted and rubbed the now sore spot on his head
âsomethings wrong, iwa-chan! i can sense it! shes hiding something and if its kept from me, of course i want to know!â
this led iwa to be dragged along with him as he followed you walking to somewhere
he remembered you getting flustered and smiling at him when you refused his offer to get ramen after practice with the guys
âi have plans, sorry, nii-chanâ
this caused oikawa to be very sus bc no tea, but he knows you dont hang out w other people outside school
so this led him to stalking you instead of talking and asking you like a normal adult
iwa was also there bc he lowkey sus and worried for your safety if oikawa does decide to lunge at your boyfriend
the two boys were huddled behind a car as you were just walking cheerfully, skipping every step
âiwa-chan, she doesnt have a boyfriend, right?â
âshes pretty and kind, it would be hard to believe she doesnt have oneâ
but as they continued to follow you, they started getting confused as to why you were walking in such an unfamiliar neighborhood
this wasnt exactly their turf and when they noticed a familiar looking uniform a boy was wearing as he walked down the street, oikawa almost busted a blood vessel
aw look at him tremble-
âwhat in the ever-loving god of anime is she doing in shiratorizawa!â
he whisper-yelled
âiwa-chan! is she transferring there?!â
âshittykawa shut the hell up!â
you heard a familiar voice behind you and quickly turned around but saw nothing
you swear you heard hajimeâs voice
but it couldve been just your imagination since youâve heard him call that for nearly 6 years
you continued walking forward and you jumped to wave when you saw ushijima leaning against the school gates
âwakatoshi-san!â
you greeted and he nodded, acknowledging your presence
ây/n, you were lateâ
you giggled
âwhy? did you miss me wakatoshi-san?â
âhm, yes. the milk bread bakery is going to close in 15 minutesâ
he said and held out his hand which you gladly accepted
tooru was basically strangling iwa by how he was so ANGY that his little baby sister was fraternizing with the enemy!!!
back on you though!!!
you still blushed when you held his hand but you knew there was nothing about it bc you ltr almost got ran over once
so basically,
you were finally opening up to going out in public w him as long as it was far away
and he suggested going to some ramen shop that they frequent at for some food
you were just walking side by side and humming a tune when you were interrupted by a loud honk that freaked you out and freeze
but ushijima, being a volleyball player and developing quick instincts, grabbed your shoulders and pushed you both to the side, away from the car
youve never had that experience before so you were quite freaked out and you were just hanging on to his jacket for dear life, hiding your face in it
he sensed your panic and placed a hand on top of your head to provide some comfort
âits okay, y/n. dont worry bc ill always be there to protect youâ
you turned red at that statement but ushijima was known to be very naive and he didnt understand that underlying suggestion in his words
âthank you, wakatoshi-sanâ
you mumbled and he gently pried you away but he held your hand
âthis will allow me to pull you quicker and to make sure you dont wander too farâ
you pouted
âhmph, im not a child, wakatoshi-sanâ
he smiled, surprising you bc wowza was he showing emotions?
âyou need to be taken cared of, do you not? no matter what age, ill still look out for youâ
to this day, he still kept your hand on his grip and your heart kept beating really fast
all these hangouts were really showing you the real ushijima wakatoshi that was so different from the court and you really liked it
from the strong and cold and cruel player to the awkward, funny, and naive schoolboy
he was an enigma and you were attracted to the remaining iceberg that maintained being hidden under the waters of his physical appearance
focusing on something else, you were tugging him along excitedly bc you forgot your bento at home today and you STARVED
âlets get sweets!â
you cheered excitedly and with his hand still laced into yours, he looped it around your shoulders so he pulled you closer
âsemi told me he does this to his girlfriend when she gets too hyperâ
um, sire, where did that come from?
from oikawaâs spot, he was starting to get hurt by how harshly he dug his fingernails in his palms while iwa was getting angry at how carelessly this farmer was handling his sister
but you werent bothered by his weird oblivious comments
âim very hungry so we must hurry, wakatoshi-san!â
âyes, yesâ
unbeknownst to you, he kept looking down to observe your faces
when you would see a store, your eyes would widen and youd mumble about wanting to go there sometimes
when you saw a baby in a stroller, youd coo and unintentionally squeeze his hand
it was cute
and it made his heart jump every time
today was no different occasion
and he was finally able to put a pin into this weird action from his organ
lmao im so tired bruh im cackling as i type
earlier today during practice, he felt that jump when you whined to him about leaving your bento at home and expressing your excitement to get some food
that jump returned and he was so focused on texting you that he didnt notice his teammates watching him in shock
tendou even started hitting semi, confused and flabbergasted
âushijima-san,,,â
goshiki started but shirabu smacked him to be quiet
âoh, i might not come to practice on friday since im going to the doctorâ
the mention of the doctor, everyone freaked out bc they cant have their prized player injured or hurt
âwhat,, whats wrong?â
semi asked and ushijima finally locked up his phone
âim having weird random jumps in my chest and slight tickles in my stomach. google told me to go to the doctor if it persists so i made an appointmentâ
they all sweatdropped
goshiki uwu babie was biting his lip to stop himself from sobbing and thinking his senpai and rival was having an illness
but semi and tendou knew whats up
âwakatoshi-kun, who were you texting?â
they all noticed the slight widening of his eyes and the sprinkle of light that shined through
âoh, oikawa y/n. weâre friends nowâ
everyone shared a look bc he didnt really have friends outside the team and didnt bother himself with unnecessary relationships like these
âoh godâ
tendou mumbled and his grin widened
âi,,im no doctor, ushijima-san, but i think youre experiencing the symptoms of a crushâ
shirabu was basically the smartest than the others combined so when he said something like that, they believed him immediately
âcrush?â
ushijima wondered
âdont tell me you dont know what that isâ
goshiki muttered in disbelief
âim familiar with the definition of the attraction to another person. but ive never experienced it myselfâ
yall why am i writing him to talk like this
âyouve been so busy with volleyball your entire life that you probably havent had time to actually admire the girls we have in schoolâ
tendou reasoned so ushijima went to go wait for you by the gates and observed the females that passed by
nope, they all didnt strike him for anything
he just gave up until he saw you waving for him all enthusiastically and there it was
a simple glance at your smile and it leapt
it only got worse when you giggled and he clenched his fist to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest
the entire time, he felt it, especially holding your hand
to really be honest, he only did that after what happened and his mother used to do that to him to protect him from other cars
now that he had someone to protect, he was doing the same thing
you clearly didnt mind and just swung your hands along the entire time
eventually, yall arrivedÂ
the lady at the front was now accustomed by your appearances and she waved at you
âhello ushijima-kun! oikawa-chan!â
you greeted her happily while ushi just nodded at her
your brother and his best friend decided it was best to stand outside to not garner suspicion ltr yall are stalking and everyone knows since the bell rang whenever it was opened
tooru felt his heart clench at the thought of you being on a date with this,,, !!!! farmer boy!!!!
the sister complex in this one is quite strong
it got even worse when he saw your giggling form and ushijima holding you close with your shoulders
next thing he knew, he entered the bakery and ripped you away from him
ofc you were surprised bc wtf why was here?
âNII-CHAN?!â
âoh, hello, oikawaâ
^^ 2 types of people
âdidnt you hear me when i told you to stay away from my sister?â
he seethed
âyes, i heard you. but i dont careâ
âwakatoshi-san!â
you whisper-yelled bc his answer clearly made your brother angrier
âwell, i need you to start caring bc you are not welcome to be a part of our family! i will never accept you as my brother-in-law! i will never visit! you hear me?!â
your eyebrows furrowed and you flushed in embarrassment
âNII-CHAN! WEâRE JUST FRIENDS! WHAT ARE YOU SPOUTING ABOUT?! AND WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?!â
he didnt bother to hear you and started dragging you by the arm
but you wrenched out of his grip and ran to ushijima, who held you close
âhes my friend, nii-chan. i dont care if you dont like him but hes nice to me and he hasnt given me any reason to not be friends. now try to be a grown-up for just a few minutes and leave me alone so i can go hang out with my friend and you go back home with iwa-chanâ
you firmly stated, glaring at him and tooru felt sad at this entire thing
were you growing up?
despite only being a year younger, you were always that ran to him for everything bc you looked up to him so much
but now, you were refusing and becoming your own person
you were still his baby sister but now, you were a grown woman who could make her own choices
and he had no choice but to accept that
âokay. but come back home soon, okay, y/n?â
tooruâs quiet voice made your expression fall and you made a move to go to him but he already made his exit
ânii-chan,,,â
you mumbled but ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders
âyou can go to him, y/n. we can-â
âno. im,,, happy that he finally realized it. so lets continueâ
you smiled up at him and he nodded, going back to looking through the cupcakes
âhow do you think hed take it if he finds out i like his sister?â
he off-handedly asks to no one but you heard and jumped
okay, you were used to his random comments and questions but this one had to be the one that took you aback the most
âH-HAH?!â
but he doesnt seem bothered
âmy teammates told me that i have a crush on you so if i were to act on that feeling, would you accept me?â
your eyes flittered everywhere and you grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned him down to his level
âar-are you seriously confessing to me right now?â
he shrugged, so nonchalant
âyes. before getting your brotherâs approval, i should get yours first. will you let me be yours, oikawa y/n-san?â
your face scrunched up and you nodded, pulling him in for a hug
âi like you a lot, ushijima-san. like a lotâ
he softly smiled and buried his neck in your neck
âi noticed when you didnt care about your brotherâs dislike towards meâ
âyanno, for someone who is so against us together, hes the reason we even met in the first placeâ
he pulled away and looked at you
âreally?â
âyep. i told you this, didnt i? i came for milk bread yet left with a boyfriendâ
âover a span of a few monthsâ
you rolled your eyes but still laughed
âyes, a few months and nearly a hundred bags of milk bread laterâ
the old lady was watching the whole thing and only made her presence obvious when she squealed
âOH YOUNG LOVE! GET ANYTHING YOU WANT TODAY, DEARIES! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF NEW LOVE AND FOR MANY MORE!â
you and ushijima shared a look before busting out laughing, you freezing when you heard his chuckles
he noticed your stare at him and he asked you whats wrong
you shook your head before grinning
âim already already looking forward to falling in love with you. so make me fall really hard, okay?â
you just unlocked blushy and flustered ushijima wakatoshi
when you went home that night with bags full of milk bread, your brother practically forgave you
but you accidentally blurted out of your new official relationship and you knew what he did?
oikawa screamed
a/n: sorry if i was gone for 2 days bc selling sunset came season 3 came out on friday !!!! but heres an update and i might post another later bc tomorrowâs my first day of school and id be too busy to update but id probably update in wednesday so feast on these in the meantime!!!!!!
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima#wakatoshi#haikyuu ushijima#haikyuu wakatoshi#haikyuu ushiwaka#haikyuu!! ushijima#haikyuu!! wakatoshi#haikyuu!! ushikawa#hq ushijima#hq ushijima wakatoshi#haikyuu!! ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#ushijima x reader#oikawa!reader#oikawa sister#oikawa sibling#ushikawa x reader#wakatoshi x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! fluff#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu headcanons#ushijima hcs#haikyuu hcs#ushijima imagine
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Hometown Cha Cha Cha Ep 7 - The love triangle (and the bromance too) officially starts and Dusikâs past is slowly unraveling. Hyejinâs role in Dusikâs heart becomes more prominent.
After Dusikâs almost accident, Sunghyun was introduced to the neighbors. Sunghyun introduced himself and informed them that heâs filming a new food variety show thatâll feature Gonjin. Dusik asked how they knew each other and Hyejin said that they both went to college. Hyejin also asked how they each other, Dusik said that they met on the street and that them knowing each other is based on lies. Haha.
He seem to be popular among the older neighbors and finally went to Dusik and Hyejinâs spot at the table, Hyejin tells him that he was also popular back then in college. They started talking about their friendship and said its been 10 years since they last seen each other. Dusik started to feel left out and interrupted the reunion asking for him to explain certain things. Things finally settled due to misunderstanding and they both introduced themselves. I see a bromance coming along, this would be a problem. Hyejin and Sunghyun started talking what theyâve been up to especially the dental clinic she opened up, Dusik inserts himself in the convo and tells Sunghyun that he found and renovated that place himself. Heâs becoming a third-wheeler at this point poor Dusik. Sunghyun asked if thatâs how the 2 met and Hyejin didnât really tell him the truth. A neighbor was being nosy teasing both Hyejin and Sunghyun. Hyejin doesnt like to be teased especially if itâs far from the truth so she excused herself for a early night, Dusik tells her that it never was a problem and wants him to shut up.
Sunghyun wants to accompany her going home, while Dusik likely jealous decided to step out of the restaurant and accompanied Hyejin home. Sunghyun and Dusik want to hang out together then they all went to Dusikâs house instead. Hyejin tells Dusik not to discuss anything that happened that night.
Sunghyun decided to ask Dusik to be his tour guide in town. They drink, do bets and games with referencing on actor Kim Seonhoâs 2D1N variety program (I honestly didnt get the reference as i dont watch his variety show). It was very chaotic and all of them went to sleep after.
The next day, Dusik is officially the guide for Sunghyunâs production team for sightseeing Gongjin and their next stop is Gam-riâs house. Songhyun intends on making the house the main shooting location so he brings all the team to her house. Sunghyun is trying to convince Gamri and asked for her permission to borrow her house for 7 days. He falls for the authenticity and the warmth of the house. But sadly, Gamri doesnt allow him to and tells him that it wonât work, despite Sunghyun being so persistent. Thatâs probably why his shows are so successful because he gets what he wants. Him allowing Gamri to have the time to think and leave her alone, eventually will come back. He also cannot think and work well with a empty stomach. We see his work ethic here. Looks like he eats too when he gets stressed. Â
Dusik brings Sunghyun and his team to Ms. Yeoâs restaurant. They try a fish dish which brings both Dusik and Sunghyun to utter bliss, describing the flavors they tasted like a food critic. They both agree on the flavors and their bromance especially over food is in full force. The fish they ate is a wild fish-fresh from the sea that cost 100,000 won in Seoul. Ok i admit this scene was really funny, they were so dramatic over describing the fish like itâs heaven to them. After their meal they meet Hyejin and left right after. Sunghyun and Hyejin continues to talk before leaving, Hyejin mentions Dusikâs fees and he offers Sunghyun to discuss about it.
Dusik notices she sounds different while talking with Sunghyun and later mimicking her way of speaking. After his tummy is happily fed, Sunghyun suggests the whole team go shopping to the market where Dusik struggles to keep up with Sunghyunâs energy and childlike behavior when it comes to shopping. Ok i giggled at this. Sunghyun is like a ball of energy and Dusik acts like an old man.
This is just an extra stop before they all go back to Gamriâs house as presents. Sunghyun will bribe her with these in order to win her heart. So he got a plan. Gamri is not falling for his tricks, smart woman but Sunghyun kept insisting that heâs doing this as a repayment for her kindness to her. He keeps coming back and continues to assist Gamri like helping her lift heavy things, cleaning, continues giving her gifts and even fixing her broken lamp. Looks like Gamri is starting to warm up to him. After his constant visits he stops, Gamri is starting to look for him wondering where he is which ultimately gives some time for her to think before she could make a decision.
Later on, Gamri calls her granddaughter who resides in America for her studies. She happily talks to her and asks her to come to Gongjin for a visit where she will cook all the dishes she likes to eat. Sad to say, her granddaughter wonât be coming home this holiday since she will be spending the holiday in California with her friends. I donât like how her granddaughter prefers her friends over family shows her unselfishness, compared to Gamri who is so kind to others. Gamri is shown to be lonely and i thank Dusik for being so kind to her like a grandson.
Meanwhile, Sunghyun suddenly appears at the gate of Gamriâs house bringing a delicious cake. Itâs been 5 days since his last visit which makes Gamri sulk. Gamri then offers him to stay and have dinner but he says that he plans on having dinner with his friend who is June the boyband member that Juri likes.
Gamri offers to cook them a delicious dinner in return for the cakes and they all enjoy dinner together. June thanks Gamri and tells that he misses having homecooked meals. Sunghyun added that as a kpop idol member he never stopped working since he was young. A disadvantage being a idol. Gamri shows her warmth by giving a piece of meat to his riceâa small gesture of affection. Dusik gets jealous Hahaha and Gamri tells him heâs grown up. I cracked up. Juri is having the time of her life hanging out with her favorite kpop idol.
After the meal, Sunghyun continues to offer his help to Gamri like to wash the dishes. Hyejin volunteers but Sunghyun tells her not to because of her back problem due to her car accident back in the day. Dusik didnt know about her back problem. This is new information.
Gamri is completely happy at this point and she expresses her happiness. Itâs been a while she had a big meal at her house. Itâs the liveliest moment she had at her house. This really warmed my heart. Gamri should have more happy moments. Dusik visits Gamri and Gamri tells him that Sunghyun can film at her house. She wants to feel less lonely and Dusik tells her heâs happy as long as she is. They continue to drink their milk together.
The next day, Hyejjin wakes up with Sunghyunâs surprising delivery of food like her favorites. They talked to each other over the phone and Sunghyun is curious and wondered what has she been up to over the 10 years.
Sunghyun is happy to see her living comfortably and happy. He then promises to treat her a proper meal when heâs not that busy and Hyejin agrees. Looks like Dusik will be out of the picture for a while when Sunghyun is around.
Later in the day, Dusik and Sunghyun stops by Gamriâs house. Sunghyun looks around the house and Dusik tells him that heâs not allowed to change anything. He also tells Sunghyun that he should ask Gamri anything first if he intends to make the slightest change on her house. Any without permission he has to return the house to her and even the damages that may happen are discussed to be added in the contract, as well as Gamriâs pay. Sunghyun ask if Dusik knows baseball. Sunghyun says that good pitchers dont throw a ball when they can, they have their energy and control with their power. The player throws the ball at full speed during a crucial moment. Is that a hint on whatâs yet to come? He said that heâs like that and doesnât sweat or stress over small things. Sunghyun finally brings up to Dusik if Hyejin is seeing anyone. Dusik has that change of expression on his face, you can see him close to tears. Dusik was silent for a moment, then responded that sheâs not seeing anyone. Sunghyun said that itâs a relief. Dusik looks to him with mixed and pained expressions. I sorta felt bad for him at that moment. Like shit someoneâs in the way now. What to do?
During the epilogue, we see Dusik being down and Hyejin drops by with a happy mood. Theyâre completely polar in terms of mood. Hyejin continues to joke around without understanding the environmentâs mood. Hyejin tries to carry him back to his house. Dusik continues to look so broken and with a pained tone he tells her to not go and leave him behind.
Dusik better be quick as someone else whoâs fast as a baseball player ready to swing for his pitch. If he doesnât make the move, Sunghyun will.
Thoughts
I like how this drama focused on Gamri and Sunghyun. We get to know them more with this episode. Also tbh with everyone. I do not like Seonhoâs acting. I think Seonho when he's plain and the typical conversational scenes he's very weak but can improve. But i would like to point out when he does crying scenes thatâs what he does best. He emoted Dusikâs heartache and pain very well at the epilogue, at that moment you would feel bad for him.
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sometimes i wish i could move to somewhere far away from here and start a new life only to run away from the decisions i've made and the path i've chosen and to not have to deal with everyone else's disappointment
sometimes i wish i didnt have an intelectual job bc i just cant put myself to study and i hate university i hate graduating i cant stand it anymore and i feel like the dumbest person in the world and i feel like such a huge failure
all my friends are so smart and they are building big careers and they've always had this path paved for them bc they were born into intelectual families but i dont come from the same place as them and sometimes i wish i could just do a part time job on something like customer service and enjoy the rest of my life doing things i actually like for pleasure
this is so unrealistic and i hate this so much i wish i was smart i wish i could focus on studying i wish i wasnt living like im constantly trying to escape from my responsibilities all the time
i love being a teacher but im so fucking frustrated bc i will never become the teacher i wish to be if i dont study properly
i still have so many shit to do this year in order to graduate and i feel like im gonna break down so hard bc im so late to do everything i need and i dont have the energy for it i just dont have ANY motivation im tired of my life im tired of graduation i just wanna rest
i even chose the easiest way to get this degree and i cant even do shit with it like how much of a useless piece of shit can i be. im such a loser im such a big fucking loser i hate myself i really wish i could move somewhere else and get a customer service job and not have to deal with everyone else looking down on me. im tired of only having friends so much richer than me im tired of only listening to stories about things i cant accomplish im tired of seeing them and never becoming like them im tired of their success and of my failures im tired of having dreams and goals that dont belong to my own reality bc i only received an education for people who already had everything so i was only taught to dream so high and what if i dont fucking care about any of this shit? what if my happiness doesnt fit their idea of happiness? there are people i admire there are professionals that inspire me there is a kind of life i imagine i'd be happy to live but everything seems just. so so so far away from me. sometimes i wish i went to a public school as i should've gone, sometimes i wish i didnt had got that scholarship, i wish i didnt have to spend ALL MY ENTIRE LIFE feeling left out and behind and feeling like i was so much less than everyone else, i wish i didnt have to grow up thinking so poor of my own family bc it didnt have the money the stability the houses that my friend's families had, i wish i didnt have to study at a place that humiliated me daily for not being like them, i wish i had found friends that were more like me people i could identify with, i live my life always feeling like i dont belong anywhere i go and im so fucking tired of it, im never enough for these places im never enough for these people
i'll never be the person they taught me i should be they taught me i should dream of becoming
it would be great to be like that but maybe that's not my life maybe that's not something i can actually accomplish maybe that's not who i am
i really wanted to be a teacher but maybe this big elite school and maybe this big elitist city are too much for me. i'll just never be good enough
i cant work myself to be good enough
i cant pick up a fucking book and read bc im too busy trying to find sources of pleasure that cover up all the holes i have on me, bc im always so exhausted i just wanna rest and sleep, bc i fucked up my brain and i cant concentrate on anything anymore, and i fucked up my brain so bad bc i was SO. FUCKING. SAD. AND. ALONE. and i spent all my fucking time on a fucking screen
while my friends were going to theatre classes and dance classes and art classes and studying other languages and going to their beach houses and practicing sports and traveling abroad and having healthy and happy family meetings and learning the piano the guitar the violin
i love my friends but i cant fucking stand this bc all my entire life i wanted to be like them and now im 26 and well im starting to think that maybe this will never ever fucking happen
and maybe if i didnt grow up like this maybe if i didnt have such high expectations maybe if i hadnt lived with all this pressure maybe i'd be ok with working harder. bc i'd be doing it from my own standards. bc i wouldnt be constantly comparing myself to people who live in a completely different reality than mine.
i feel like i dont even have anyone i cant talk about this bc i feel like this is about everyone i could talk to and none of them would understand
im just so sad man im really really sad here. im tired of telling myself i should be grateful for that scholarship and ignore all the shit it made me feel and the way it cursed my whole fucking life but i just cant fucking escape from it
#i always end up hating everything i love#sorry for the long post i really dont have anyone i can really talk about this
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Fundys Stream My Nightmare (5/24)
(stuff transcribed live so. it might be wrong but I tried)
F: Remember the times when⊠when.. when⊠I.. remember the times when I couldnât stop a nation from blowing up.. remember the times when I helped the guy who killed tubboâŠ.
You know what bothers me the most? I have been having nightmares with crazy visual stuff happening and I donât know how to explain it.. I I just.. my memory goes back to.. to those days.. I had the chance that I was always there. I was the helping of will and schlatt and the butters armyâŠ.
And I.. I couldnât do anything.. and it leads me to believe it was always my fault.. it makes me think it was always my fault.. and everytime I was apart of something it fucked up.. everything something messes up Iâm part of it.. its always been that way.
A day ago.. quackity showed up at my doorstep.. and told me a few things. He told me.. ya know, the things I was part of and the a few things that made sense and a few things that werenât.. werenât great to hear, but he was right.
Me and quackity.. had a long talk, it was me thinking he came over to see me. I isolated myself from the world, tried to save everyone from having crazy shit happening, because every time Im part of something everything seems to break down no matter what it is. So I tried to isolate myself from only specific dreams.
And I thought he was going to see me but he had oddly specific business requests. Heâs made some mistakes but heâs a nice guy. He told me about my history and made me aware of what happened⊠well⊠time for a new chapter maybe. I donât know.. I donât know, but its, lets hear him out. I think thatâs the least we can do. I mean the place does seem impressive.
Q: I wasnât here for business I was here for you
F: Do you really mean that?
Q: Why were you in the butcher army?
Q: Work in the cabinet?
Q: You have always had the same interests as me
Q: Because of those past experiences is why I went to see you.
F: Youâre. ..Making me smile..
Q:And im not saying it to make you smile.. im saying it to make you think
Q: This is not las Nevadas⊠this is home. If you decide to join the country.. this simply will be home.
Q:For the longest time I didnât have a home.. I had two houses in my lifetime, one was in the lmanburg house. Infant we had a dispute as neighbors⊠and another house underneath Karls house.. but I never intend to go back
F:You literally canât go back there right?
Q:Do you want me to be honest fundy?
Q:As much as I love to see this as a new beginning⊠for me it was a necessity.. it was either starting a new chapter or rotting away in self pity.
F:Quackity I donât really know if this stage is goodâŠ
Q:Fundy, you are more then happy to offer your contributions..
F:Youâd allow me to do that?
Q:Fundy look at me and listen to me carefully.. I own this place, this place is mine and I am under rule of nobody, no Tommy, Tubbo, Schlatt, Fundy we can do whatever we want under any means, we donât have to worry about going to war every single week..
Fundy we can finally go everything we want to. And that freedom means more to me then this SMP could ever offer.. We are FREE here.. .this is HOME fundy..
Its home.. this entire place is home, its ours⊠just like that I have been working on this for a long time just so someone to say you canât do this you canât do that you canât express yourself
Im so tired of people telling me my entire fucking life that I canât do something. And this is why this place- this is home fundy, this is HOME
I get it Fundy I get it, and we both have been in this situation quackity, we both know what its like to be put down, and to be written on paper and work for months and we know how that feels
And you and me unlike most people
I wish we could include tubbo on that but Tommy Wilbur had that share of power for awhile..
But you and I quackity we had so many ideas but we were pushed aside with our ideas and now all of thats changed and we can do something about it
F: Did you know I visited Paris eeveryyear as a kid?
Q: It wasnt a coincidence fundyâŠ
F: It feels like home.. fundy it feels like home
Q: I donât think thereâs been amount in my life where Iâve been this happy.. And we offer all sorts of entertainment if someone wants
Q: Fundy you gotta chose the people you trust wisely, and Fundy Iâve put trust and hope more trust then hope . I gave too much benefit of the doubt when we were in the lmanburg cabinet, I used to think that somehow which the people we ruled over would someday strive for peace and love and maybe⊠but thats bullshit fundy⊠thats bullshit of what people want.. and that breaks my heart fundy.. but you know what? We are here now.. and all this.. youâre gonna see fundy..
F: But what if. What if it happens again Quackity? Quackity Iâve been thinking I told you about the nightmares and stuff quackity.. .once the nightmares finally end and the continuous loop finally escapes and want to know what I see I just see myself. And it tells me that you know.. that every single time.. it always leads me to believe that its always me⊠and that its crazy.. thats crazy..
Q: Fundy? Donât talk nonsense⊠donât talk nonsense on las Nevadas
F: sorry. Im sorry
Q: No fundy donât apologies, you and I have been kicked in the ground and you and I have been undermined for so long,, and it doesnât matter.. where are they?
Q: Wilbur as far as I am aware is dead..
Q: Tommy.. I havenât even heard of Tommy in so long for all we know hes still chasing that disk
At one point of all of these friends I considered friends they are all still chasing the same thing over and over again and they think thats going to change⊠but thats the thing you have to create the change yourself.
But until you finally realize your own self worth as a warrior and an excellent member I donât want you in las nevadas.. I care for you as a person, youâre not a business partner youâre not some asset some pawn, youâre my friend and I rather you work on yourself and realize your self worth.
And that point I donât want you to be far away from me
You know what fundy? I still want you to find yourselfâŠ.. Theres so much unused land here.. how about you take this plot here fundy and how about you build yourself a place you call home. Build whatever you want.. build your homeâ
F: Whatever I want? Actually? Like if I go back and find myself⊠if that ever were to happen.. this is the place I can call home? Right here?
Q: Build your legacyâŠ. Fundy is big fundy is powerful fundy is smart⊠and translate all of those things into a nice big buildingâŠ
F: Right now it doesnt strike me as the right thing to do.. well you know me better.
Q: Fundy.. you have to let go.. YOU HAVE TO LET GO..
F: I can do that.. I can do that.. .. its my choice its my decision
Q: Fundy.. pretend lmanburg never happened, pretend all of the wars never happened.. yell to the sky I am born again say I am born again I am no longer the old version of me.. it will take some time but Iâm sure one day you will understand.. fundy im sure you will understand
Fundy I just have one last thing to say to you.. just follow me.. Look at this sign⊠Fundy⊠Welcome home fundyâŠ
Welcome home..
F: You know at the end of the day.. he is actually nice..
Thats was friends do.. thats what friends do⊠good day actually good day.. my good friend.. whoâs very busy lately⊠so what if he couldnât visit me for three months.. and so a friend like me I can understand that people can be busy for three months like quackity or ever since I left⊠and im a good friend.. a bro.. you know what? You know what lil guy? I think I think⊠Im gonna have a good night⊠I think tonight might be different.. I think tonight im gonna have a good nightâŠ
#las nevadas#fundy#quackity#lmanburg#lmanberg#manburg#schlatt#wilbur#wilbur soot#tommyinnit#tubbo#quackityhq#ranboo#dreamsmp#dsmp#dreamwastaken
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((I think the most frustrating part of watching people analyze the actions of characters in vol8 is that the biggest complaint is that logic is thrown out the window and I would argue thatâs the point. Especially because of the perspective of the show. I really hate to keep picking on Ironwood, Qrow, and RWBY, but those characters are the ones driving the plot, so I guess we gotta.
Lets start with RWBY. Theyâre kids first off. WBY are all about 19-20 years old and Ruby is 17. Lets start off by saying those are ages not exactly known for smart, long term decision making. Most people that age are trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives, struggling with college, dates, drinking, sex for the first time. Theyâre stumbling around in adult bodies while still having more or less the mind of a teenager because society has suddenly stopped treating them like a kid and expects them to be an adult. Except instead of having to struggle with decisions about their near future, RWBY is being asked to save the world. If you think you could handle that pressure well at 17-19, youâre lying.Â
Does it make their decisions right though? No. The way they treated Ozpin for hiding the worst of his abuse and the fact that his ex-wife was an insane bitch who is functionally immortal is wrong. But again, I ask you, could you handle having all that dumped into your lap in an already stressful situation? The person who should be (and rightly is) condemned for his reaction is Qrow for throwing a punch. No matter how upset you are no hitting. Once you throw a punch in that situation, youâre the bad guy. And until he makes an effort of an apology heâs the bad guy in that situation.Â
The biggest problem that team RWBY has is that all of their terrible decisions throughout the show have either been rewarded, or the got bailed out from having to see the real consequences.Â
Ozpin allowed Blake to hide her White Fang past and therefore missed the least subtle component of the Fall of Beacon. Things could have been significantly less bad if heâd known about their involvement and was able to send Qrow in to spy on their operations. Maybe he could have figured out what Roman or Adam was up to, realized they were working for Cinder and by extension Salem.
Ozpin allowed team RWBY to do a mission that was a couple grades too advanced for them because he knew theyâd break the rules otherwise. That was a tacit acknowledgement that he thought whatever they were up to was alright, and that they had his blessings on whatever it was that they wanted to do.
The best example of terrible decision after terrible decision that RWBYJNR makes is Argus. They have no idea how theyâre getting the Relic to Atlas, and they seem road blocked. Jaune suggests stealing an airship, and Qrow, the adult in the room tells them that this is a bad idea, and if it goes bad it has the potential to screw up their entire life. Heâs right. The problem is that heâd run off on his bender, and therefore the kids, and we in the audience, are supposed to see this as an unreasonable suggestion.Â
However, it plays out as him being right. The incredibly complicated plan did go wrong. Now, they had no reason to suspect at the time that Adam was stalking Blake at the time (and I could go into why thats perfectly ic for him at another date), but there were a lot of moving parts in this plan and literally any of them could have broken. Everything that happened after they put this plan into motion was reactionary. Cordovan, obsessed with showing the Might of Atlas (TM), jumped into the mech suit. At that point, Ruby didnt really have a choice of not breaking it. But the ensuing fight created enough general unease that it summoned a Grimm hoard.
By rights, Argus should have fallen because of their bad decisions and in spire of their best efforts. Instead, Cordovan had a change of heart at the last moment and bailed them out.
This just reinforced the flawed idea that RWBY is always in the right and directly lead to s7âČs climax. They are the unstoppable force.
Now you have Ironwood, quite literally the unmovable object, which I now realize is sort of his name. Ha.
Ironwoodâs behavior does not come out of nowhere. Since his appearance, heâs had problem stamped all over him. He showed up with an entire goddamn army to a supposedly peaceful event that is to promote unity and the excellence of each kingdom. His rationale is that the people are going to be impressed with his big guns and feel safe. Ozpin gently points out that those big guns also signal to people that there is something out there that those big guns are designed to shoot.Â
If its not a Grimm, could it mean that Atlas intends to shoot people?
Remember weâre not even 100 years out from the last World War, one that was basically started by Atlas. People are nervous. There are still grandparents and great grandparents alive today that were kids when the Great War was happening. Not only that but weâre also made aware that Atlas has rolled in the apolitical protectors of the people, the Huntsmen, into its military. This elite fighting force that is basically above the law and can go to any country in the world whenever they want, is now part of the military. The ONLY standing military that Remnant seems to have.
All of this has obviously caused friction in the Inner Circle. Qrow is not quite and never has been quiet about his disdain for Jamesâ heavy handed techniques. Glynda calls Jamesâ actions a dick measuring competition, and Ozpin was trying to be gentle about it, but he was clearly telling Ironwood to get his army off his fucking front lawn. And what did Ironwood do? Heâd gone around Ozpin and talked to the Vale council. They were threatening to remove Oz fro his position because they agreed with Ironwood: he was being too passive. Ironwood even tells Glynda that he cant believe that a man he trusted for so long would just sit by and stand to the side instead of meeting the problem head on. He didnt seem to understand why Qrow would want to go gather intelligence on an operation before sending in the big guns.Â
Ironwood has never been a man to put a well thought out plan with all his ducks in a row into motion. This is a man who plows through opposition at every opportunity.
And when we see him again, we can see him steamrolling through opposition again. Somehow he got himself two seats on the council. That gives him an enormous amount of power. And his position as general means that at any point he can declare an emergency and become the de facto dictator of Atlas if he deems it fit. The problem is that heâs having these arguments against Jacques Schnee a man that the audience rightly hates, so he seems reasonable. Who gives a fuck about Jacques loosing business, heâs a dickhead. Weâre not noticing the fact that James is consolidating power, or that heâs using that power to make unilateral decisions with no one telling him no.
Thereâs no one left in the room who is able or willing to tell him that these are bad ideas, that there will be consequences that he cant foresee. His bullish behavior lead to both Robyn Hill and Jacques Schnee running for an empty council seat, and that created the environment that we walked into in s7.
Now, not all Jamesâ ideas are bad. The Amity Project is actually a really good one, and James is right in wanting to keep it from the general public until its near completion. But you know who should have known? The other fucking council members. Probably the candidates. Playing your cards too close to the chest when you clearly need help and allies is a bad thing. But again, James didnt even trust Ozpin to be able to run his own kingdom, so durr hurr of course heâs the only one who can take care of Amity. And run a kingdom. And run an academy. And protect an ageing, ailing Maiden. And of course he doesnt have time to treat his horrific PTSD from the Fall of Beacon.
So when things go tits up because again, of course they will with a plan that complex James Ironwood doubles the fuck down on his terrible solo decision making. Clearly, non of this is his fault. No one is listening to him. He cannot trust others to make decisions so heâs going to make all of them. Thereâs no one around him to tell him no, especially because the first person that tried was publicly executed.Â
James is scared. Heâs had a mental break because of that fear. His paranoia, his PTSD, and the fact that thereâs nothing there to help him back to stability means that heâs just going to be bouncing from one terrible choice to the next. Heâs Hamlet in the throes of paranoia, heading down a road that is going to get everyone, including himself killed. He is King Lear as the world crumbles around him, acting cruel and making unreasonable, horrible demands of those around him.Â
Working with Watts seems like an absolutely terrible idea, but to someone who thinks that he is in control of the situation because he has to be in order to keep functioning, thereâs no way that this can bite him in the ass. For James, if no one is willing to follow his orders, heâs going to make them. This attitude is probably exactly why Watts did what he did and joined Salem in the first place.Â
So when you combine the unstoppable force of Team RWBY, whoâs been told theyâre the child saviors of the world, and whoâve been either rewarded or bailed out of their bad decisions against the immovable object of Ironwood and his absolute conviction in himself, you have the mess Atlas is in now.
Honestly I find it kind of brilliant.Â
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To Be So Lonely- Chapter 4
California Dreamin
Hi all! It has been ages, but at least one person is still interested, so nanny chapter ahoy! I gave this a revise and a quick read, so.... all mistakes, as ever, are mine!
Enjoy!
Harry didn't like to think of it as plotting.
He was just taking care of her. Right? She needed to relax. She ran herself ragged. We're all attorneys so dedicated? Admittedly, he didn't know a lot of lawyers, it didn't seem a career people were borne for, but if anybody was made to wear the wig, it was Vee. It was admirable, how hard she worked, how much she worked. She might be the most productive person he knew, that may also be because he came from academia. Some people published so fast your head spun, others, didn't. But Vee put the p in productivity. That's why she got the heavy cases, like the one she was coming off. Plus, when she got home, she tried to do as much as possible with the twins. She'd totally kicked him out of last week's wakings though she hasn't slept much.
"Go, I need time with my babies." With a hand wave and a look that brooked no argument, he was dismissed like a case she saw holes in from day one. He'd lingered, just a moment, to watch her scoop up Teo. Belli was still sleeping, but stirring from the noise. A swirl of her tummy with Vee's manicured hand, and she was out. Mateo was quiet now on her shoulder too now. Her beautiful hand splayed over his back at the moment. Harry had no idea when she had time to get her nails done. Maybe her Lunch hour? Though she came home then when she could. He knew it was devotion, to the babies, not her nails. That was probably required to look "professional." She must squeeze those in on the days she wasn't huddling home to see the twins, she loved them so, said it was worth it.
However, he suspected it was guilt as well over the case taking so much time, lots of late nights and missed bed times. She's worked herself to the bone, and he knew better than to mention the dark circles bruised beneath her eyes. He still saw them though. So he'd called his uncle, his pseudo uncle, and got them the place. Even promised he'd help pay for the trip James and his family had take last minute so Harry, Vee and the babies could be alone.
"With what?" His uncle chuckled. "I Know your da tied up your trust fund because you aren't doing an MBA!"
"I'm thirty. I can make my own decisions." Harry insisted. And if that meant he had to pay his own way, that was a learning experience, real adulting too. He told himself everyday he worked to go back to school, and now just did because he couldn't imagine not, that this was the way it was supposed to be. His life hadn't been Normal. Even compared to the other students on his Ivy League program with him.
"You can, but you have to then pay your own way." He could hear the shrug, and the pride. It's why his Dad's best friend was his favorite. Harry knew he sided with him. "But, enough of the tough love stuff. On to the real thing. Why do we have to make ourselves scarce? Something going on?" He left the insinuation heavy in his voice.
"No, C'mon man. She's my boss. She just needs a break. Case has been a killer. And then she's always trying to be super mum when she's home too and not let me do night duty." Harry rolled his eyes like James could see him.
His uncle whistled, "She must be a looker, if you're talking like a husband not the help."
Harry scoffed without any control. The help. Ouch. He didn't feel like help, he felt, needed. "Fuck off. It's not like that. It's professional. She doesnt see me like that anyway. Not her type."
"Oh, I see, that why she did a donor dad? She like ladies?" Harry honestly couldn't tell if he was taking the piss, plus he wanted to give a social justice rant, but knew his Uncle was more messing with him than bigoted, he hoped.
"No! No, least I don't think so?" She wasn't, was she? "Not that it would matter if she was." He protested. He honestly could not tell why it bothered him.
"Oh, quite." James was still amused and Harry was going to make more heavy weather of it, but Harry decided to ignore his uncles tone and teasing.
"James?" He cajoled.
"So, daddy," he'd even ignore the occasional dig, he was glad his uncle couldn't see his lip curl, and that he got back to brass tacks. "What dates are we being kicked about?"
"In two weeks for two weeks." Â Harry was looking at the calendar she had of Selena to see how she'd marked it. Everything went into calendars, paper ones. Even though their google one synced to her iPhone. Victoria needed the order, she was so busy. The Selena calendar was just a nod to the other part of her, that wasn't run by a clock and schedule. She loved Selena.
He'd discovered this by accident.
She was so cute when she was unguarded. He was sure that he never would have found out the personal morsel if she hadn't been super stressed and decided to dance it out. She hadn't been expecting him home, he could tell that for sure, she had a red dress on, for the occasion he supposed, though her hair was still up in the mom bun her long tresses were usually scraped up into, and she was barefooted. The dress and her feet were making the most of the Latin beat. Harry was sure he would have watched for quite a while longer had she not performed an impressive turn and opened her eyes to sing "bidi bidi bum bum." He assumed she was looking to use the microwave as a mirror. Give her self a wink maybe.
He couldn't dance, but watching her made him want to learn.
"Ayyy!" She placed her hand over her heart. "Por favor Harry! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
" I didn't mean to!" He proclaimed. "The kiddos," he gestured to the dowsing twins in their Bob double stroller. "Were just done with the park. You ok now?" He was suppressing his mirth, it's not like he caught her with her hand in a cookie jar.
"Yeah, yeah, my heart rate is back to normal." He wasn't sure that was true, her breath was still rapid. "Put those dimples away!"
"There are no dimples." He tried to make his face as flat as the pancakes the kids liked from a Trader Joe's. He knew his face was probably betraying him. That muscular defect showed unless his face was truly neutral, and he was definitely engaged, amused.
"Stop laughing at me!" She glowered. Oh! Her flush was lovely.
He finally just burst out, with the ridiculous laugh, the one that was like a opening shot at the races.
Vee was certainly off. She dissolved into giggles too. And then they were laughing together until they were just looking at one another. Harry let the dimples bloom fully then, Couldn't help it, really.
Victoria took a big breath, notched her chin back and forth an inch or two, and said, "Pardon, I'm gonna go change."
"Dress is pretty." He let slip. She shot him a warning look, but she was smiling, so he felt the need to push a bit more. "A little formal for nap time." Her flipped up middle finger as she rounded the hallway entrance made him snicker. He controlled it so he didn't hear that tone she used on the phone some times. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of that, he didn't think.
He'd been clicking a button on Amazon a moment later on the Selena calendar. Well, after he googled the lyrics to figure out who she had been dancing to. Then he remembered another little detail they'd need in the beach house.
"Oh, set up the crib!" The babies could have the third bedroom. Between him and Vee, so they could share duties. She needed rest. He was gonna try to slyly make sure he took the first night shift. She'd want to hear them, and he was sure he couldn't pull it past her if he put them on one end and her on another.
James laughed. "Jesus, should I also call the chef?" Â He was joking. Harry wasn't.
"Yeah, at least give me the number. She doesn't cook. Maybe buy a second crib."
"Do you cook then?" His uncle could barely keep the mirth from frothing over.
"Yeah, when she works late. So she doesn't have to eat out all day." Where was the shame in being kind?
"Oh, Harry, you better hope she's a looker and does like men, cuz if you aren't gunning for daddy, you are most certainly the help." He wasn't even trying to hide the cackle.
The help? That smarted like a slap across the ass cheek, though it was definitely unreasonable to be bothered. "Well, I am the nanny. And I definitely try to be helpful."
"Yes, employee of the month." James kept laughing at Harry while they said their goodbyes. He could hear the snickers and was sure he would be telling Jules the moment they got off then phone.
He'd got off the phone and thought about whether he was the help for ages. Railing against the insinuation.
Then accepting it, of course he was the help! He was hired help. Must be his upbringing that was showing in his annoyance at the term. He'd need to work on that. Get over himself and his privilege.
And be the best damn help he could be.
The alternative as to why he was so bothered, he couldn't think about that. Or James's ideas about his design on daddy. Though his mind did a little wander down that trail.
Gunning for daddy, how ridiculous! He just appreciated her, respected her, liked her. He tried to make her life better, like she did him, dancing to Selena and smiling and such.
Shit.
Or giving him a job and gifting him with time with her enchanting, infuriating babies. That was where his locus of gratitude was, right? Not for the chance to be close to her.
He decided to distract himself from surfacing realizations. So he dove into planning.
He thought about his own time there, and did some googling. At first he was thinking they'd just sit on the beach a ton, he'd spent hours staring at the waves like he'd once inhabited the waters and they were calling him home. When he thought more of it, he realized that was what Vee needed, but she'd bail by day three if laying about was the only plan. They'd have to get into something else too. He reckoned outside, with sunshine, and something physical.
Hiking, once she got sick of the beach, or pool, or both. That would do the trick.
This was going to be so relaxing. He wondered if they could take the twins hiking? He was researching back pack carriers when she came home.
"Do you like hiking?" He asked immediately after he said hi. He had to restrain himself from kissing her cheek hello while he scrolled through his phone.
He'd ask himself what was going on, but it would be a lie. He'd kinda known, that he was feeling at the very least familial towards her, but ever since his Uncle razed him about liking her, he was much more aware of it.
Ignorance really could be bliss. Because he was now aware of what he was missing and his subterranean wants. It had started normally, with no romantic inclinations. When he'd come for his interview, she'd impressed him, and she'd looked really tired. But pretty, really pretty, and she had made some gorgeous kids. She could use him, his help, and he could learn from her. He just knew it.
Then his crush has sort of just grown in the background, like the tomato plant his mum had growing up. He was sure it took tending, but he never saw any take place. His only memory of it was when he was forced to help build the raised bed, and picking fat green caterpillars off of it once until he put one in his sister's hair, he was off tomato duty then. After that, all he recalled was being overwhelmed by the hordes of red ripe fruit that came from it when the sun was high. He supposed he'd had a foundational moment he didn't recognize during his interview either.
Partly, he remembered really wanting this job, to help and support this family, this woman. So he supposed his level of engagement was different even in the first stage, a compulsion, just not parental.
He didn't do much tending, not to his budding crush, but he supposed when he caught her dancing and not only was moved by her hips but couldn't help but notice her lively eyes and her vanished dark circles, was some sort of middle stage.
Today, getting off the phone with his uncle was seeing all the fruit of the labor he wasn't even aware he was doing. He'd been tending and tilling, spacing and watering, nurturing his interest.
Now he just had to decide what to do about it.
Option one, ignore it, and they continue living as they have been. Like some version of a family; they're certainly a team, but one where he is the impermanent piece, like the quarterback about to graduate onto new things. Harry doesn't want new things, well he doesn't think so. He's fairly certain he wants this team, Vee as his coach and the twins as the freshman walk ons. He's just not sure how to get it.
So, option one seems no good. He doesn't want to just pretend he hasn't realized his feelings. He's known since day one he admired Vee, adored the twins. He still felt those things, they'd just deepened and he wanted to put their needs right before his own for the foreseeable future. Which was why he'd once again delayed going back to school. Another extension. He'd told himself it was about the money, and he did need that, but really he wasn't ready to be here less.
Option two, he's direct. He's imagined that scenario in his head. The setting as the living room they share. He can tell they've just gotten back, their cheeks sun kissed by the California sun, and their suitcases still full in the living area.
"Vee, have a seat. It's been a long day. Want some wine?" Should you be able to hear the nerves in your voice in a daydream?
"Yes please." She'd sigh. And he'd only heard that like twice when he made this offer in real life, so further proof he was imagining best case scenario. After a few sips, he can imagine he'd get caught up watching her relax and be mesmerized by the working of her throat. It would take courage, but she'd be relaxed and he'd be keyed up by the two weeks of her in swimsuits and watching her lick the rim of her wine glass with her eyes closed. Sometimes excitement was related to bravery.
"Vee," he'd start, "Victoria," so she'd know he was serious. Her eyes would open, connect to his. Then, he'd just say it.
But what? I'd like to take you out. I think I have feelings for you. No. I do have feelings for you. Should I just move into your bedroom? What does your kiss taste like?
He had no idea how to tell her his heart, and that seemed like an odd place to start considering they basically lived together. Shit, would she fire him? He needed the job, and the twins, oh god! He'd miss them so.
He couldn't come out of left field then. He'd need to feel her out, flirt, watch for reactions. Malibu seemed like an ideal place to move beyond the support he showed her. The sunsets and skin had to be romantic. It felt romantic to him when he was there alone, the feeling would magnify with a love interest. He'd roll his eyes at himself if he could see his reflection. He just had to see if he was interesting to her, on her romantic radar. If she seemed bewildered or put off, he'd save his job and let his feelings fester, save money and go back to school. Try to move on.
He'd have to find a way to stay in touch with the twins.
Or, she'd be receptive.
That might have been a scarier thought. More exciting too! He'd start sooner. A glass of wine, he'd let his hand linger when he handed it to him.
But she'd just begged off for her bed. Â "You're so charming, Styles!" He'd teased himself as he went to bed, well tossed and turned all night. He'd needed mountains of iced coffee to stay awake the next day on their flights, the babies were cranky too. They must be feeding off his energy, and Hers. Vee looked wiped as well, so every time he got himself a refresh, he got her one too. Everything took forever, and he was vibrating by the time they picked up their rental. The babies were slowly fading and Vee looked more keyed up than him. They needed to relax, a way to unwind.
That's when the idea sparked him. The pool, the sunset, and a night cap that he could extend into drinks. All the makings of a romantic evening, or a relaxing one. He'd just lean into whatever way she seemed to be veering.
His imagination had hoped though, as he distracted himself from waiting for service in the line.
He started with thoughts of kissing her, tasting the cool water beading on her lips and the contrast of the warm recesses of her mouth. He might have groaned out loud if Belli hadn't whined.
The traffic was a welcome distraction from his nerves and though he knew the way, Vee drove and it took just that bit longer for her lack of familiarity. Especially with traffic. He offered to do it, but she'd got the rental, at her insĂstanle since he'd put so much work into the trip and found free accommodations. Her name was on it. "You get to play navigator, and she'd found the energy to wink!
Good sign?
The drive knocked out the crank pots in the backseat, though they had screamed until the Mulholland Pass. Until Harry realized the sun was in their eyes directly. He'd hopped over the seats and blocked it with his hands. It wasn't comfortable, but got took away the overstimuli for all the occupants of the car. Once they pass out, he and Vee shared a relieved pair of sighs. That got his mind wandering again, about other shared exhales. Soon they were pulling up the familiar beach side road and parking, each taking a baby in hand and communicating with their eyes to get them in the house.
Once Teo was in his crib, Harry cocked his head to the driveway and moved behind her. She nodded, understanding he'd unload the car while she settled Belli. She was the hard case. Harry tried to be businesslike about it, though he admitted the brush of his front to her back was more than accidental plus, he sniffed her, inaudible. She smelled of plane, and baby, and coffee. And Vee. He smiled on his way out the doorway and it encouraged him, how well they did this together.
He dropped the bags, the many bags, she'd packed just inside her door and was in his room and rooting for the swim trunks he'd packed on top before he knew it. He text her directions to meet him out back and went before his nerves could get the best of him.
Did she like tattoos? Would they turn her off? She knew about his arms, he was fairly certain he'd been wearing a t shirt at his interview. His collection was extensive though. Eye-catching, in his experience with romantic interests, usually compelling. Unless she hated body art.
Too late to do anything now, years late, and since when was he self conscious, especially about his tattoos.
He needed to get a move on if he was gonna be ready for her. He thought he knew James, well, in this case Julia, well enough that they'd have what he was looking for, probably already chilled.
He found the Moët and grabbed the glasses by the stem and huddled outside. The gorgeous weather wrapped around him, more comfortable than any sweater and the water enveloped his thighs. If she came out soon, hopefully in a suit. They'd just catch the sunset. Her skin would look so pretty in the golden light, and then moon light, probably any light. Still, he was going to keep track of her changes. He tanned well, he could show imagine how tawny she would get. His confidence was returning with his plan working out so well and his desires so near the surface. Should he pour the champagne, or would the bottle popping be a nice official start to the vacation? He was mulling it over waist deep in the water when her voice caught his attention.
"Dios MĂo!" He heard from over his shoulder, and when he looked back, he would have said the same but it had little to do with the sunset he assumed she was marvelling over and everything to do with Vee.
He nearly forgot the champagne and cavemanned her over his shoulder and straight into where he was in over his head.
But that was overly forward. He at least needed to get her wet before he dove into the deep end.
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I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. Iâm afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe Iâll put them here?
OPs Name JUNE 02 03
I LOVE YOU
THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH
*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*
ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.
ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAIDÂ âWASSUP?â NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. IâM TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.
(Flip Page)
THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa
I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.
ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE IâM AWAY.
HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.
THEYRE BAD.
I LIVE YOU OP
*hearts and xâs* DADDY
---
(I donât know if all these pages are in order or if itâs missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)
I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CANâT SEND MAIL WHEN WEâRE MOVING ALL THE TIME.
WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WEâD BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. IâM GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.
ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.
AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.
ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.
MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVEÂ âHIâ. SOME OTHERS DONT.
I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAIDÂ âBUSHâ THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.
OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OURÂ âBRADLEYâ TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.
ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.
IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAYâS ARE VERY HOT.
SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.
IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.
AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENAâS AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD
WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WEâLL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.Â
I USED AÂ âSHIT-CHAIRâ. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.
HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.
ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.
I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.
SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.
I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW
I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.
HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTOâS. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.
I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THEÂ âGAMBLER.â YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.
IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, Iâm not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.
I THINK NIETOâS MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,
*hearts and xs*
TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.
WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WEâVE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!
GIVE ME A MINUTE...
FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WEâRE LEAVINGÂ (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.
ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.
I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WEâVE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.
THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED ITâLL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K
I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.Â
YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS
*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes âI AM ALIVE AND WELL.â and âPLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPERâ, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added â1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*
HOWâS THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.
I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME
IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCVâS AND A PAIR OF BDVâS. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WEâLL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DOÂ âPEACE KEEPINGâ FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.
SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF
*the rest of the page is blank*
IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.
A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.
THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.
LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 OâCLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say âhemiâ, I donât know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.
RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.
RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDNâT. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)
ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOUâLL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.
YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.
I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.
I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO
EVER YOURS
EVER MINE
*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and xâs with my momâs name and then my name under hers.*
#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad#pt 1#long post
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Adventure Time Reviewed - Season 1 Episode 6 to Episode 8
From The Jiggler to Business Time
S1E06 The Jiggler
This one is about the cautions of adopting cute little forest animals. I wonder why Finn and Jake are covered in so many bite marks? Why was that kingdom on fire? What was going on? How much trouble can one watermelon get into? Anyway this is the first episode to feature Finnâs autotune voice. I canât remember the last episode he said something in autotune - there was the s6 finale, then a few scenes in season 7.Â
When they take the Jiggler back home, they Get Creative and escalate until they destroy their entire house interior. I think Princessss made an AMV Nightosphere gag about this. I love how chiptune noises play every time the Jiggler moves on day 1.Â
I always loved this episode. I thought it was very disturbing when the Jiggler gets sick, and then explodes. It reminds me of failed attempts to save birds or insects after my cats have gotten to them. I can relate so much to Finn and Jake here. Poor Jake having to keep himself together and look after his traumatized little bro. I love the OST of this ep. The soundtrack was uploaded to soundcloud once, along with Ricardio the Heart Guy. I love how artistic this ep is with the edible drawings and the painting of the jigglerâs mom. Very bright and colourful. I always found the momma jigglerâs cry to be... weirdly genuine.Â
S1E07 Ricardio the Heart Guy
This ep starts with Finn saving PB from Ice King, who humorously kisses Jakeâs butt. PB gives Finn a kiss on the.... neck? hat? as thanks, and Finnâs crush truly begins. Oooooh boy. I always wondered in hindsight why Pb let the ice king roam free to begin with. That question is raised later in this season. Ice King kidnaps dozens of princesses daily and roams free, but Princess Cookie starts 1 hostage situation and is locked up forever. In the ep What Have You Done, itâs reasoned IK can only be punished for recent crimes, but... ehh, there are a few reasons. Pity? Old ties? Maybe she doesnt want to lock up a pathetic old man forever. There are some really funny statues of Finn and Jake in the castle, they look buff. I wonder who made these? PB commissioning them makes a lot of sense. Hey, itâs Peppermint Butlerâs first speaking lines!!! âThis style of massage is called Best Friend Massage. Because it can only be done for friends. It is completely consensual.â Well the first line from Ricardio the Rapist Stand-in is already incredibly sus. Whatâs even more sus is heâs apparently friends with LSP. I find it interesting that Ricardio is so intelligent. This must have been one of the motivators behind making Simon really smart. Ricardio is his heart, at the end of the day. Oh, Simon at the end of the show still has maracas in place of a heart. I wonder if that has health complications?Â
âI hear you appreciate ancient technology.â This is foreshadowing of MULTIPLE things now. One - Ice King being pre-war. Two - PB building everything out of pre-war technology. Three - The fact there was a war to begin with!!!!Â
Jake is trying to help Finn deal with his new emotions of jealousy (burning low war flashbacks) and heâs once again trying to make him happy, Jake never once considered the logistics of whether Finn and PB would ever actually go out, because it was far more important to him that Finn grow up and have the courage to listen to his heart. Jake encourages Finnâs crush to a fault, and provides lots of support to him when heâs heartbroken later on.Â
I love how PB and Ricardio were talking about dangerous micro-organisms and poor Finn has no idea how to approach the topic. I love how Zanoits are actualy dangerous and Ricardio uses them as a poison later. Anyway even PB can tell Finn is jealous. Finn is of the idea that she has no idea of his crush on her. Of course she knows. But from her side itâs exactly the same as Baby-snaps wanting to be a princess, or every other candy person doting on her - she thinks itâs adorable and completely fails to take the other person seriously. At least, until Braco comes along. Then you realise itâs a good thing she didnât take Finn seriously, because she might have done something ridiculous like make him a robot clone of herself. Â
Holy shit, the duck from The Vault! I just made a post about it.Â
Anyway this ep provides a challenge to Finn or a test of his character, ironically through his own test of Ricardioâs character! Finn gets obsessed with proving Ricardio evil to the point that he gets easily baited into punching him, and doesnât care that the Ice King is basically dying. Poor Ice King. At least Jake is here to approach the situation with a level head.Â
I was wondering as of late, with all the post-Obsidian sexuality discourse (in no way ignited by that one towel scene), whether PB was interested in Ricardio during this ep. Itâs possible, and in the past, I thought âmaybeâ? But upon rewatch? No. She is only interested for as long as she can have scientific discussions with him, and as soon as his knowledge becomes lacking she has already used him for all hes worth. SAVAGE. But not as savage as him trying to rip out her heart. Ew, creep!!!Â
I should say that Ice King wanted to cast a spell that would force PB to fall in love with him. Heâs NOT safe, heâs dangerous. Heâs especially a danger to PB. He does kill her twice at the end of season 2, after all. Once again I donât know why she hasnât locked him up LOL. Anyway, even if he did cast a love spell, she wouldnât change any of her decisisons. Itâd just make her sad, like it did at the end of The Suitor. There was that one time PB tried to make a love potion but we donât talk about that. Ice King does demonstrate some concern for Bubblegumâs welfare when he reveals Ricardioâs plan to literally murder her. Ricardioâs plan here is pretty slapstick violent, and itâs funny watching Finn beat him up, but when he returns in season 4, itâs far more... personal and insidious. As in, here he could be seen as a jokey stand-in for a predator creep, but in that later episode he 100% sexually threatens her and forces her into a non consensual relationship, making it very satisfying when PB beats the shit out of him instead.Â
Holy fuck I forgot about this joke. Golden. Â
S1E08 Business Time
For some reason, I donât feel like thereâs a lot to say about this ep. It doesnât demonstrate any remarkable characteristics of Finn and Jake themselves. Instead, it seems to be more of an inside joke.Â
When they find the business men, Finn and Jake at first feel like the business men are helping them work more effectively with their assists. However, the boys end up just being lazy, and not realizing that their workers are messing everything up. You can sympathise for the business men because theyâre just doing what they were told to do. This all seems to be metaphorical for when Pen and Patrick McHale started work on the show, and they got tons of help from Cartoon Network staff. They wanted to do everything by themselves, but ended up having to delegate. Maybe they feel lazy for it?Â
What makes this episode EXTRA SPECIAL, however, is its confirmation of the Great Mushroom War. By the time the season had released, the first shot of the intro was already Mushroom War bombs. There was also a reference to the war in the previous episode, where PB and Ricardio shared an interest in âancient technologyâ. However, the only reason those references exist is because of THIS episode - This is the one they were working on when they decided it should be post-apocalyptic. They made the human zombies, and the icebergs filled with human junk, and then every GMW reference we see in the show is down to this decision.Â
I enjoy the physicality of this ep. Finn and Jake crash through the entire gauntlet. Finnâs still wearing his fire resistant glove as he does it. They get covered in bruises, because they... like pain? I liked when you could see Finnâs sword legit being shinier, and his shoes having bouncing noises. And I want to be hydrated! I loved how smushy Jake was when he became an ice cream monster. I love the colours of the Fluffy People. S1 has this unique art style compared to the rest of the series. They often draw white outlines to white things, it works nice here.Â
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Kindred Spirit (Taehyung X You) (ONESHOT)
A/N: The full version of the Taehyung fanfic, but I changed it a little from the preview I posted. Hope its okay đ also, im not sure whats an "er of their marriage" means exactly? But i take it their life after marriage? Ill make an epilogue of that soon! đ
"Ive been an idol for years Y/N and you have never once come to see me perform? Dont you know people would die for all the free passes and tickets I left for you?!" Her bestfriend grumbles, hands crossed over his chest, his pout over an inch long.
Y/N laughs.
"Thats why I said you should give it to someone else thats actually have time to go watch you,"
"But you are my best friend. BESTFRIEND Y/N. How is is possible you never once saw me perform? And you dont even know any of my bandmates? How is that possible??" Yoongi keeps on grumbling in disbelief.
"Well.. Min Yoongi. I can give you an answer. Because I'm busy with real life okay. You know my appa wants me to take over soon. You know I dont do it on purpose right?" Y/N pouts, hoping if shes cute enough, or looks guilty enough Yoongi would actually forgive her.
"Nope. Your puppy face wont cut it this time,"
Damn.
"You are coming. And if I dont see you cheering your ass off tomorrow night, front row, our friendship is over. Over I say!"
And thats is why Y/N is running and pushing through the excited crowd of boys and girls in the stadium, trying to find her section. She made it! She almost didnt, but almost didnt matter. Shes here now. All dressed in her work clothes, with what is supposed to be called an Army Bomb in her hand, something that her secretary shoved in her bag earlier, saying its a must have for an Army. She dont even know what an Army is!
As the show starts, Y/N jumps to the music, smiling proudly everytime Yoongi make an appearance. She has heard him rapped before, but she never seen him this charismatic. Its as if the man on stage is not even the dorky Yoongi she has known for years. And his band members... wow. All so talented, all so good looking.
As the concert ended, Y/N makes her way backstage, flashing the pass Yoongi gave her and make her way through series of dressing room, trying to find the one where the boys are in.
"Must be this one," she followed the door that has the most sound and lights to find the boys chatting, congratulating each other. "Uh, Yoongi?" Y/N calls out softly, feeling awkward. Is she even supposed to be here?
"Oh you are here. God, cant believe you actually made it!" Yoongi rushed over and gave her a tight hug. "Wait, I'll introduce you to the others, but I need to change my pants first. Wait here, dont move!" Before she could say anything, Yoongi has already ran off.
"Uh.. okay. Ill stay here I guess," she moved herself timidly to a corner and stands awkwardly, hoping no one would notice her. But wishes dont always come true.
"Hey, uh..." a guy, a very handsome guy, who Y/N recognizes as one of Yoongi's band members, but cant be sure who, approached her.
"Uh.. yes? A-am I not supposed to be here? Im sorry. Im just waiting for Y-"
"Oh, no. I just want to ask you. Wheres the bathroom?"
"Huh?" Y/N looks at the guy curiously. Is he for real? He had a three day back to back concert here and today is the third day. And he doesnt know where the bathroom is? And he is asking... her? Y/N laughs before answering. So weird.
"Uh.. I-"
Smack.
"You know very well where the bathroom is you idiot. What are you talking about?" Yoongi who just came back smacked the guy's head.
"Ouchhh, hyunggg," he pouted, rubbing his head.
"Serves you right. Thats the worse and most cringy pick up line ever!"
"Hyunggggg, shut upppp," the guy eyed Y/N shyly and glares at his hyung and turn his attention back on her. "S-sorry. I just wanted to talk to you but I dont want to scare you off," he grins sheepishly.
"Oh, its okay. Im not a stalker. I'm here because Yoongs invited me. I'm Y/N," she hands out her hand for a handshake. "And no, I dont know where the bathroom is," she giggles.
Yoongi rolls his eye and smacks his forehead at the lame attempt of flirting the younger man is doing.
"Hi Y/N. I'm Taehyung," he grips her hand and shakes it. "Kim Taehyung. And I'm the guy you will be having coffee with tonight," he grins.
/////
"Okay, so do you have a boyfriend?"
"No appa, I dont," Y/N sighs, frustrated.
"Then uh.... do you not like men? I mean, Im okay with that sweetheart, as long as you are happy..."
Y/N smile a little. Her appa is the most adorable man ever existed.
"Appa, no!" She giggles.
"Okay, okay. Im just asking. You know I will support you always princess," her appa smile and she can see a small sigh of relieve. "Then what is it sweetheart? Why are you so against this marriage with Hyun Dae?"
"Well, for one, I think arranged marriage is so old school appa," she pouts. "We are not living in the 60s or 20s or whatever year you and eomma are from,"
"How old do you think we are? The 20s?!" Her appa laughs. "Arranged marriage is not so bad you know,"
"Its not bad at all. I actually found the love of my life," her eomma gets up from the couch and link arms with her husband. "Although he is quite annoying at first," she laughs. Y/N's appa leans and kiss the top of her mothers head.
"Its the best decision ever," he smiles.
Y/N roll her eyes. It is well known between their family, friends and community that her parents are as in love as ever. They were from two wealthy family, arranged to be married, and lucky for them, they were each other soulmates.
"Appa, eomma, just because you two are lucky doesnt mean everyone is,"
"But sweetheart, Hyun Dae is everything a man can be. Hes very kind, smart, hes taking over his appa's business, he loves animals, arts, kids. Everything that you like. And plus, you two are quite close too. Why are you so against it?"
Y/N sighs.
"I dont know. Maybe a little part of me wants that traditional love story you know? To fall madly in love with someone and then get married?" She sighs and lays her head on her elbow. Her parents look at each other before her eomma approached her slowly, stroking her hair slowly.
"Sweetheart... are you in love with someone?"
"Well..." Y/N scratched her neck, avoiding their intrusive eyes. Her lips immediately curl into a small smile as an image immediately pops inside her head. Boxy smile, deep voice, always happy, positive outlook on everything. The one guy who made her deeply fall in love.
"Oh my dear, who is it? Why didnt you tell us?" Her eomma smile widely, clapping her hand in excitement.
"Well.. its uh.. because I dont know if he feels the same way..."
"Have you told him yet? Whoever this lucky person is?" Her appa take a step closer to her, smiling. His princess' happiness is everything to him.
"N-no. Not yet. I dont know. Should I?"
"You should sweetheart. Or how else would he know? And he most definitely feels the same way,"
"Do you think so appa?"
"I know so," he smiles. "Who in the world wouldnt fall in love with you sweetheart?"
Y/N smiles. Her parents are the best.
"Then I'll tell him. I'll tell him tomorrow,"
/////
"I like you Taehyung,"
A few moments past without either one saying anything. The air that pricks her skins feels colder. But nothing is colder that Taehyung's stare that is emotionless in front of her right now.
"Uh.. what? I heard you wrong I think," he laughs awkwardly.
"I... like you Taehyung,"
"Well, I like you too. Of course. You are one of my closest friends," Taehyung smiles. Y/N feels her heart suffocating but still puts on a brave face. Maybe he dont understand what she meant. Taehyung can be oblivious sometimes.
"I like you Taehyung," Y/N says it much clearer this time. "I.. love you. I love you Kim Taehyung. Like for real,"
"Listen..," he sighs after a few moment of silence. "I'm really flattered that you uh.. have feelings for me. And I know we have developed some degree of friendship, but... you thats what you are... just a friend," he looks at her with his deep gaze. "Yoongi's hyung friend to be exact,"
"Yoongi's friend?" Y/N looks at him, eyes filled with confusion. "After all this time. Is that all I am to you Tae? Your hyung's friend?"
"You know what I mean Y/N. You know how we met-"
"Yeah, I know how we met Tae.. but I though after all these time and moments we had..."
"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"
Y/N felt like Taehyung just stabbed hee heart a million times. What does he mean that shes just.. her? Whats so wrong about being her?
"I enjoy our friendship, our interaction Y/N, but no more than that. And I am sorry to say that I am in a relationship. We havent gone public yet, but we are planning to, by this week,"
"I-in a relationship? With who Tae? A-and you didnt even bother to tell me? After all the time we spent together?" Y/N feels like screaming, but she knows she has no right to do so. All she can do is hold in her tears that can easily burst at any time.
"I think you know her," he smiles. Oblivious to the pain that Y/N is feeling. "Oraia. The new idol,"
"Oraia?" Oh Y/N knows the girl perfectly well. Pretty, fashionable, great at singing, dancing. Any guy would kill to have her. Including Taehyung it seems.
"I-I have to know Tae. W-why her? H-how?" Y/N managed to choked out her question.
"Oraia is the perfect girl for me," Taehyung smile at the thoughts of her, proving how in love he is, making Y/N's heart breaks even more. "An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"
"You are not a worldstar when I met you. You are not that like this when I met you," Y/N said softly, holding in tears. "We are not that much different from each other Tae,"
Taehyung gave a sad smile, no, a pity smile, before standing up, ready to leave.
"You can think whatever you want Y/N. But if you ever think we can be together..." he sighs and looks at her and gave her another pity smile. "If only things were different. In another world, maybe we would have been together.Goodbye Y/N,"
/////
Y/N closes her eyes, tears rolling down both her cheeks, already mixed together with the pouring rain as she walks home. Maybe the rain will wash away her feelings for Taehyung. Her stupid feelings for Taehyung. Different world? Taehyung's world is what she wanted to avoid her whole life. Glitz, glamour, fame, riches... Y/N cries out as loud as her heart wanted, thankful no one can hear her in the heavy rain. Shes just not enough for him. Thats the real reason. And she will never be for Kim Taehyung.
Days passed and Y/N has been locked up in her room ever since that disasterous day. Her parents have given up trying to find out what happen and finally left her alone.
And this week is finally the week Y/N dread the most. All the entertainment news, magazines, gossip websites are buzzing with the announcement that has just been made all week.
Y/N looks at the glossy pictures of the scattered tabloids in front of her again. The intimate pictures getting blurry as her eyes gets wetter. Taehyung's voice replayed in her brain like a broken record.
"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"
"An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"
With a deep breath, she crumples the pages that reflects the beautiful relationship that is Taehyung and Oraia, wipe her eyes and walked downstairs to where her parents are drinking tea, enjoying their evening in their luxurious lounge.
"Oh Y/N. You are finally out. How are you feeling honey? Want to join us sweetheart?" Her mother looked up from the magazine shes reading and smile, her father the same, offering her a seat besides them.
"N-no. Thanks though. And I feel better," she gave a small smile. "Eomma, appa, I have something to tell you guys," she said, heart beating fast.
"What is it honey?"
"Appa, eomma, I have thought it through. I agree to your proposal. I agree with the arranged marriage to Hyun Dae,"
Her parents looks at each other, surprised.
"Sweetheart, are you sure? You dont have to rush into this. You should take your time and think i-"
"No appa. I am sure this time," she gave a smile, hoping it would convince them. "I want to marry Hyun Dae. I think he and I will make a very happy marriage,"
"W-well.." her eomma looks unsure. "Okay.. then,"
"If you are sure sweetheart. Then we will start setting it up," her appa stood up and hugs her. "Just know that we both love you so much and want nothing but your happiness,"
Y/N nods slowly, tears brimming in her eyes, softly she whispers,
"Me too appa, me too..,"
/////
Tupp. Tupp.
Y/N looks over the sliding door that opens up to her huge balcony. What is that sound? Panicking, she grab the first thing she can reach, a hairbrush, and walk slowly to the glass sliding door.
Tupp. Tupp.
The sound continue. Taking a deep breath she bravely slides open the door.
"Ouchhh," she rubs her head. "What the hell?" She looks around to find what hit her. "A pebble?"
"Oh no, did I hit you?" A voice called out. Y/N looks over the balcony.
"Hyun Dae? What are you doing here? Its 2am!"
"I, uh.. I want to talk to you," he grins.
"Theres this thing call a telephone you know? Or a front door? Havent use one of those?" She glares and Hyun Dae laughs.
"Sorry. I just thought this Romeo and Juliet shit is romantic you know?" He laughs and Y/N rolls her eyes. "Can you come down? Lets take a walk in your garden,"
"Come down from here? Like Rapunzel?!"
Hyun Dae laughs. "Oh my god, how are you so adorable? Of course not! Use the front door silly,"
Y/N giggles. "Okay. Be right there,"
A few minutes later, they were strolling in Y/N's family flower garden, inhaling the fresh night air.
"So? What is it you want to talk about that cant wait until daylight?"
"Well," Hyun Dae stop walking and pull her hand, sitting her down on the stone bench. "I just want to do it properly and formally," he smiles and kneels down in front of her, holding her hand.
Y/N looks at him, both nervous and confused.
"Y/N, you dont know how truly happy, grateful, excited, speechless, ecstatic I am that you agreed to marry me. I have been in love with you since forever," he smiles and blush slightly. "And I know this is just an arranged marriage to you, and you dont love me. But right here, right now, I promise you, that I will make you the happiest girl alive, that I will love you despite everything and anything, and everything you wish for princess, is my command,"
Y/N feels her heart beats faster.
"L/N Y/N, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man ever lived?"
Without a doubt, without a single second of hesitation, she nodded.
"Yes, yes, definitely yes,"
/////
"You look distracted. Whats wrong?" Yoongi glance at Taehyung whos just staring blankly at his mirror as they are changing and cleaning up their makeup.
"Uh... nothing hyung," Taehyung quickly pretends to clean up his things.
"Its not nothing. You have been distracted for a few weeks now. I didnt want to say anything because I thought you would snap out of it but its just getting worse,"
"Its really nothing hyung!" Taehyung snaps and plop down on his chair, sighing. Yoongi shrugs and decide to give him some space. "Err.. hyung?"
"Yeah?"
"Why..uh... why doesnt Y/N come over to our shows anymore?" Taehyung finally open up his mouth to ask. Since that first time they met, she has always been around, cheering for them, right at the front row. But after her confession, he didnt see her anymore. Yeah, he felt bad about what he said and he tried calling, texting, video calling.. but nothing. Shes totally ignoring him. He wanted to meet her at her house, or her work place, until he realized he didnt know where to go. In fact, he didnt know anything about her. All the time they hung out, he only always talk about him. His life, his problems. Him. As if its that interesting. He sighs again.
Yoongi side eyed him.
"Is that what disturbing you? Y/N?"
"N-no. Im just curious,"
"Oh, okay then. Then the answer is, I dont want to tell you," Yoongi picks up his stuff and walk off.
Of course. Of course his hyung knows. Yoongi and Y/N are best friends afterall. Taehyung sighs. Well, maybe he deserves this. But still... he doesnt want to admit it to anybody, even himself, but deep down, he miss her. Really miss her.
/////
"Okay guys, lets go. We need to get ready," Namjoom clap his hands as a way to make his members make their way to the dressing room. Its awards season finally, and they need to get ready for their stage. Taehyung makes his way with his hyung to the back of the stage, wishing for all this to be over soon. He really wants to just rest his head.
As he was putting on the final touches he turns to the door and saw Y/N standing there, all dressed in a beautiful gown, fit for an award show. His first thought is, wow, and the second is that his eyes are playing tricks on him. But as Y/N makes her way inside and hugs Yoongi, he knows this is reality. Taehyung smiles. He cant help it. Did Yoongi told her about what he said a few days back and now shes here to see him?
Taehyung walks over the moment he gets the chance to get her alone.
"Hey," Taehyung smiles.
"Um.. hey," Y/N smiles awkwardly.
"So, why are you here? You miss me or something? Or are you stalking me?" He laughs.
"No, I'm actually h-"
"Hey baby, there you are. The crew said you went in first," A handsome guy, and obviously a chaebol makes his way to them, giving Y/N a kiss on the cheek and hugging her waist.
"Hi babe," she smiles. "Yeah, I went in to see Yoongi. Its time you meet my mysterious bestie,"
Taehyung was silenced, eyeing the man up and down. Baby? Cheek kissing? Waist hugging? Who is this guy?
"Oh is this Yoongi?" He smiles and held out a hand. Taehyung took it reluctantly.
"Oh no no. This is Kim Taehyung. Hes uh... Yoongi's band member,"
Yoongi's band member? Thats all he is??
"Oh okay. Hi, I'm Hyun Dae," he smiles and shakes Taehyung's hand before hugging Y/N's waist again. Taehyung felt like pulling off his arm, and he dont know why he felt that way.
"Lets go meet Yoongi," Y/N smiles and bows to him and move over to Yoongi, leaving Taehyung still staring at them. Once Yoongi and Hyun Dae are caught up in a conversation, Taehyung immediatly grab Y/N by the elbow and drag her to the side.
"Ouchh. What the hell Tae?!"
"Are you seriously this petty?" Taehyung scoffs.
"Petty?? What are you even talking about?"
"Fine, I rejected you. So now you are bringing this... this... stuck up someone here for what? To show me that you have moved on? To make me jealous?" Taehyung scoffs again. "As if,"
"What?!" Y/N looks at him in disbelief. "God Taehyung, you are so full of yourself! Hes not stuck up! And I'm not here for you!"
"Yeah right," Taehyung smile sarcastically. "So, hyung told you I asked and the next show you brought a man over? Please Y/N, have some pride,"
"What are you even talking about? Yoongs never talked about you. At all! Im here becaus-"
"Oh Taehyung, you have already met," his manager interrupted the conversation and bows to Y/N as Hyun Dae join her side. "Okay guys, gather round. I think all of you must already know about The Empire. As you know, their company owns and organized all show events in Korea and is one of the biggest in the music industry, among others. The president cant make it, so his daughter is here instead. And she and her fiancee just wants to meet all the artists her tonight to express their gratitude,"
Y/N and Hyun Dae bows and smiles to everyone as Taehyung stands frozen in place, the only thing he can hear is 'fiance'. Y/N is... engaged?
And... shes an heir?
"You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"
Yeah, they are worlds apart. He was right. But the truth is, Taehyung is the one whos way beneath her.
/////
"Lets go, lets go peopleeee," Namjoon clapped his hands a sign for them to get moving. Taehyung and the rest of the members climbed up their black van, still yawning from having to wake up early in the morning. They are off to another country for a month for their variety show shoot. A special content, the management said. Something to do with their new sponsors. Taehyung never really pay attention to all the boring details, all he knows is, he will do what he is asked to do, no question asked.
But as they land and making their way out from their private plane, Taehyung, still half asleep, need to take a double take when he saw Y/N and her fiance at the arrivals, standing atound with the crew, their luggage all around them.
"H-hyung?" He nervously tapped Yoongi's shoulder.
"What?" Yoongi grumbled, still cranky from being awaken from his beauty sleep on the plane.
"Are my eyes playing tricks on me or is that uh... Y/N?" Taehyung really wished he has gone crazy. Thats he is seeing things. That Yoongi will look at him funny and tell him theres no Y/N. And Yoongi did look at him funny, but his answer is totally not what hes expecting.
"Dont you know? Her father's company is our new sponsor for the show and they are here to monitor the shoot,"
Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He dont know why the news startled him. It shouldnt be affecting him at all. Right? Even he dont understand what he is feeling as he looked over to Y/N and Hyun Dae smiling at each other. Anger? Sadness? Happy? He cant be sure. But one thing he knows for sure, its going to be one hell of a month.
/////
"So... you arent going to tell me that you are engaged?" Taehyung jogged lightly, to catch up with Y/N whom he saw is taking a morning walk from his hotel roon window. They have free schedule for the first day and what luck, the first thing he saw this morning is Y/N, alone. Without that stupid chaebol.
"Oh, uh hi Taehyung," Y/N, startled at his presence, give a small smile and a polite bow.
"Hi Y/N," he smile. Honestly, he missed her. Well, they were pretty close before. As friends. Yes, of course as friends and nothing more! Taehyung reminded himself. "But seriously, you are never going to tell me you are engaged?"
"Do I have to?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm your friend or yoongis friend or whatever, you know? And I dont think you be interested to know anyway," she picked up her pace but Taehyung managed to catch up.
"What do you mean?! Of course I wanna know! And of course we are friends! And you didnt think to tell me that you father own half of Korea's music industry?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
"Well, you never ask. And I'm not one to go around telling people my family history Tae," she shrugged. "Afterall, why would a worldstar want to know about someone who is from a different world than him, right?"
Okay, he deserved that.
"Okay, Y/N, look," he pull her hand, stopping her from walking. "I am sorry about what I said that day. I dont know what I was thinking. I was startled by your confession. To be honest, the months I spent without seeing you at all, well... I missed you. I miss you, okay?"
Y/N sighed. Why is he doing this to her? Her heart is still recovering. Still trying to erased every love she felt for him.
"We are going to spend a whole month working together. Stuck in a small island. Why dont we be friends again? Hmm?" He made his famous puppy eyes, blinking his eyes rapidly, lips pouting. "Pleaaaase? Taetae is sorrryy,"
Y/N tried to keep a sttaight face but burst out laughing. She can never say no to that face.
"Fine Tae. You know I cant resist that stupid face," she laughs.
"So, friends?" Taehyung held out a hand and Y/N shakes it.
"Of course, friends,"
As he shakes her hand, smiling ear to ear, Taehyung realized, he had never felt this happy, and it scared him.
/////
They might have rekindled their friendship, but Taehyung couldnt get even 10 minutes alone with her without being disturbed by Yoongi or Hyun Dae, and its pissing him off. Worse, he have to watch all the romantic moments between the two love birds, and trust him, Hyun Dae is really not afraid to show his affection, its making him wants to throw up.
Suprising Y/N with flowers on set, setting up a special candle light dinner when the whole crew is eating, suddenly gets on stage in the middle of dinner and sing her a song. And that motherfucker can even play a guitar and he look damn good playing it too. Taehyung swore all the girls there are swooning over him. But what he hates most is all the admiring whispers.
"Y/N is so lucky"
"Hyun Dae is the perfect guy"
"I wish I was Y/N"
Urghhh. Annoying.
It also doesnt help that his relationship with Oraia has gone stale. Yeah, they text everyday, call each other every night. But nothing she says interest him. Taehyung mostly tune out whatever shes saying during their phone calls, eyes focusing on what Y/N is doing. The way she laughs when she talks to someone, her clusmy ways of doing things, her passion while working. All that is more interesting to him than his own girlfriend. His supppsedly perfect, beautiful, girlfriend.
It must be the island. He hasnt seen Oraia for almost a month now, and hes stuck here for all that time. Of course it will put a strain on his relationship. Yes, that must be it.
But as his heart bubbles with jealousy as he watches Y/N and Hyun Dae running around the beach, Hyun Dae catching Y/N by the waist and lift her up to kiss her, Taehyung knows for sure, that it is definitely not it.
/////
Taehyung tossed and turned for hours and after eventually still failing to fall asleep, he decide to take a walk by the beach. The moon is out and the breeze is welcoming. Its a good night to walk and collect his thoughts.
As he walked slowly along the beach, the cool air blowing his hair, he saw a figure sitting alone by the beach, eyes closed, enjoying the midnight breeze. Taehyung immediately smile.
Y/N.
"Hey," he approached her slowly and smile.
"Oh, Tae. Hi," she smiled back. "What are you doing here at this hour?"
"I cant sleep. What about you? Isnt it dangerous for a pretty girl to be alone so late at night?" He smile.
Y/N laughs.
"Its a private island Tae. I think its kinda safe. And you know I usually cant sleep and the sound of the ocean calms me down,"
Taehyung does know that. Back to the days when they use to spend so much time together, they always sit by the beach and talked. Well, usually, he will be the one who do the talking, because all he cares about is himself. And his problems. And Y/N always listen. To all his weird ramblings, his peculiar thoughts that people usually laugh at. Even Oraia sometimes makes fun of him. But Y/N listen to them all. Understand him even. Why didnt he realized that before?
"Well... can I join you?"
"Of course. Have a seat," she patted down the spot besides her and Taehyung makes himself comfortable. They talked and talked, laughter filled up the night air and Taehyung cant seem to care about anything else other than that moment.
"Oh god, my tummy is hurting from laughing so much," Y/N said, still giggling from what Taehyung said. "I forgot how funny and weird you are Taetaeee,"
Taehyung smile and looked at her, staring deeply at her laughing face.
"Its nice,"
"What is?" Y/N who has stopped laughing, asked him, confused.
"Hearing you call me Taetae again," he smile, making Y/N blushed.
"W-well, that is your name,"
"Yeah, yeah. It is," Taehyung smile, still staring at her. "Y/N? Are you happy?"
"Right now? Yeah I am. We have been laughing for hours Tae. Of course Im happy. Whats wrong with you?" Y/N giggles, trying to toned down the awkwardness shes starting to feel.
"No. I mean, are you happy? Like really happy? With Hyun Dae? Does he makes you happy?"
"H-hyun Dae?" Y/N was taken aback from the sudden question. "Uhh, of course I am, hes my fiance, of course he makes me happy Tae,"
"Really? Then why did you stutter?" Taehyung still looks at her, straight into her eyes with his sharp gaze.
"I- I did not stutter! Whats wrong with you Tae? You are being weird. But not normal weird," Y/N starts to dust off the sand off her, preparing to get up. "Its getting late. We should go in,"
Taehyung grab her hands, standing up with her.
"Do you love him? Do you love Hyun Dae?"
"Why are you asking me that Tae? You are being weird!" Y/N tries to shake off his grip but he held on tighter.
"Answer the question Y/N. Do you love him?"
"Hyun Dae is amazing! He cares for me. He loves me. He knows what I like, sweet, romantic, p-"
"But do you love him?"
"I-I," Y/N stuttered. "I dont need to answer that!" Y/N tries to pull her hand again but to no avail.
"You cant answer it because you dont love him. And you cant lie to me," Taehyung smile.
"You are crazy. Let my hand go Tae," Y/N insisted. "It has nothing to do with you!"
"But it does Y/N. It does, because you dont love him. Because you love me," Taehyung state matter of factly. "You always did and you always will Y/N,"
Y/N was speechless, shocked, surprised, that Taehyung would bring it up again. Tears starts to sting her eyes. She has never felt more hummiliated. Is Taehyung making fun of her? Of her feelings? She thought they were friends again. Why is he doing this to her?
"Just let me go!"
"I cant, and I wont,"
"Why?!" Y/N is crying now. She dont understand why Taehyung is being this way. "To hummiliate me even more? To make fun of my feelings for you?"
"What? No!" Taehyung cant believe Y/N would think of him to be that cruel. But maybe he deserved it. "Because I love you Y/N!" Taehyung pull her hands, making her fall into his arms and he immediately cup her face and captured her lips with hers. The kiss has never felt more electricfying. Taehyung felt goosebump all over his body, he hears fireworks went off everywhere. And right at that moment, he knows that hes in love.
But the moment only last for a split second when Y/N, tears already spilled down her cheeks pushed him away hard and slapped him across the face.
"Get away from me Kim Taehyung!"
Was the last word she screamed out before she ran away into the darkness.
/////
Taehyung almost went crazy trying to finish the rest of the shooting. After that fateful night, Y/N took the earliest flight home the next morning, leaving Taehyung with no way to contact her at all. No reply to his texts or his calls and he cant even get away from his stupid schedule to find her at home. He was lost.
Its the very first time in his life that he has seen things so clearly. He is in love with Y/N. And she left him being so lost.
It also doesnt help that after Taehyung told Oraia that he wants to break up, his crazy ex girlfriend bombared his calls, his texts, his friends, even his manager with texts begging to take her back. She even went so far as to include the media, giving sad interviews, crying her eyes out. Taehyung wondered how he didnt notice how crazy Oraia is. Maybe its true what they said, love is blind. But what they had isnt love. It never was. They both know they got together just because they seemed to look perfect for each other. Thats not love, and Oraia is just mad that shes no longer one half of the industry perfect couple.
/////
"Hey Tae?" Yoongi knocks on his hotel room, peeking his head. Theres still a week left of shooting, but Taehyung's heart is no where in it. All he wanted to do is to go back home, find Y/N and begged for her forgiveness until she takes her back. Hes going to convince her that he loves her. He really do. And not because he pity her, or because hes jealous of her relationship with Hyun Dae, but because he just realized it now. That from that moment he asked her where the bathroom is, hes already in love. Y/N has already caught his eyes, and heart from that first night at the concert, but he is too busy chasing his fame and title to realized it.
And now it might be too late.
Taehyung might have already lost the love of his life, forever.
"Yeah hyung?" Yoongi make his way in and sit on Taehyung's bed.
"Did something happen between you and Y/N? Did she going back home early has anything to do with you?"
Taehyung looked at his hyung with tired eyes. No longer bother to pretend or curious why his hyung us asking.
I told her I love her...." Taehyung said, tears stinging his eyes at the memory. "And she thinks I'm just playing her,"
Yoongi sighed.
"Are you?"
Taehyung sits up and hugs a pillow, looking at Yoongi with teary eyes.
"No hyung. Of course not. I really do love her. I love her so much. Im just too stupid to realized it then," he sniffles. "And now, I have to wait until this stupid shoot is over to win her back hyung, because shes not answering my calls or my texts. And I swear hyung, I will do everything to win her back from that Hyun Dae,"
Yoongi sighs again, looking away before looking back at the younger man.
"Tae... Y/N is getting married today. She suddenly said she wants to get married as soon as possible, doesnt matter if its a small wedding. She just wants to get married. Today,"
Taehyung looked at his hyung, eyes widen, not believing what hes hearing.
"I-I have to go hyung," he suddenly gets up.
"Go where Tae? What are you doing?"
Taehyung grabs his bag, not thinking anymore.
"To stop the wedding hyung, to win back the love of my life,"
/////
Y/N looks at her reflection in the mirror. Even with last minute preparations, her mother managed to do everything perfectly. Her dress, her makeup, her hair, her flowers, even her dressing room is perfect. Y/N smile to her reflection. But she knows its only superficial. Its a smile she puts on to convince everyone, to convince herself, that shes making the right decision. The right choice.
That shes happy.
And she know Hyun Dae will make her happy.
He have to.
"Dont marry him,"
Y/N turns around to find Kim Taehyung by the door. His hair a mess, shirt crumpled, eyes bloodshot from crying.
"T-Tae..."
"Dont marry him Y/N," he move closer to her. "Dont do it. Please. Please Y/N,"
"Taehyung, what are you doing here?" Y/N feel tears prickling her eyes. Why is he here. Why now? Why today?
"To tell you I love you Y/N," Taehyung sniffles and take her hand. "T-to tell you to not marry him. Dont marry him Y/N,"
"I-I cant Tae," Y/N shakes her head. "Hyun Dae deserves all the happiness in the world. He treats me so good Tae,"
"Then what about you? You deserve happiness too. Happiness with me Y/N,"
Y/N close her eyes and shakes her head. Why is Taehyung telling her all the things shes dying to hear before? But its all too late now. Too late.
"Marry me Y/N. Marry me. And I'll make you the happiest woman in the world. Marry me," Taehyung sobs and kneel down on his knees, begging, hand still holding hers.
Y/N starts to shake, trying to hold in her tears but it rolled out anyway, flooding her face.
"D-dont do this to me Tae. You dont love me. You dont. You dont!"
"I love you Y/N. I love you I love you I love you! I know I realized it too late. And thats my mistake. But I swear to you, that I'll spend forever making it up to you," Taehyung begs desperately. He cant lose her. He cant! "Please. Please, dont marry him Y/N. Please..."
Y/N closes her eyes. Tears rolling down her face, no intention of stopping. She wanted to say yes. God, how she wanted to say yes. How easy it would be. To be with the man he love. The man he had dreamed of. But she cant. Its not fair to Hyun Dae. And its not fair to her. To her heart that Taehyung has broken to pieces.
"Im sorry Taehyung... I cant," Y/N let go of his hand, tears dropping on the floor, wetting her beautiful white dress.
Taehyung felt like his whole world shattered to pieces. Thats it. Just two words. "I cant" and he lost her. He lost the love of his life.
After felt like an eternity, he stood up, face still wet with tears but a smile on his face.
"You look beautiful Y/N," he smile. "You always do.
Y/N sobs hard, her whole body shakes.
"Be happy Y/N. Hes an idiot if he dont take care of you. If he hurt you like I do. Hes an absolute idiot," Taehyung smile and carressed her face softly. "Be happy my princess. And when the time comes, come back to me. I'll always be waiting Y/N, because you are my true love, and we will always find our way back to each other,"
Taehyung placed a long, deep kiss on her forehead, eyes closed as tears flows down, knowing he has lost the love of his life, trying to savor the feel of her in his memories.
"I love you Y/N. And I'll wait for you, forever," he smile one last time as he turns around and walk away, leaving Y/N drenched in her tears.
/////
5 YEARS LATER
"Woohoooo, last concert for this tour guys, good job!" The members high five each other as they make their way into the dressing room backstage. Taehyung laughs and make his way into his own personal room, exhausted from a show well done.
"Hi, do you know where the bathroom is?"
Taehyung stopped in his track at the sound of the voice. A voice so familiar. A voice that haunts his dream for years. A voice that he never forgets.
He looks up, and there she is. Smiling at him.
"Y-Y/N?"
Y/N nods, giggling.
"Y/N?!" Taehyung runs to her and engulf her in a hug. "I am not dreaming am I? A-are you really here?"
Y/N giggles again.
"Its me Tae. Real life me. Im real,"
"W-why? H-how?"
"Well, if Im not mistaken, 5 years ago, someone told me that we will always find our way back to each other. And that he will wait for me, forever. Im just checking if he still keeps his promise," Y/N grins.
Taehyung hugs her tight.
"You dont know how I dream of this day every single day Y/N. How I waited to see you again. To feel you again. To hear your voice again," Taehyung hugs her, not letting go.
"Ive come back Taehyung. Ive come back to you,"
Taehyung cant believe this is happening. Then he remembered something. And although its something hes dreading to ask, he knows he has to know.
"H-Hyun Dae?"
Y/N smile at his nervous state. She has never seen someone so adorable. God, shes just so in love with him.
"We were never married Tae. When you came that day... everything changed. I didnt marry him. I couldnt. Not when I know my heart belongs to you. And Hyun Dae... he knows it too. And he loves me enough to let me find my own happiness,"
"W-what?"
"Im sorry it took so long. But I need to find myself. To really understand my feelings, your feelings... but Im here now, Taehyung... if you still want me..."
Taehyung grins.
"Is that even a question my love?"
Y/N giggles at the way he calls her.
"I love you Y/N. Since that first night we met. I have been yours. Im sorry for hurting you. Im sorry for my mistakes. Im sorry fo-"
"Shhhh," she puts a finger on his lips. "It doesnt matter anymore Tae. All of it doesnt matter anymore," she smile. "Im here now. You are here now. And I, I love you Kim Taehyung,"
Taehyung grins. Such word has never felt so sweet. He felt happiness bubbling inside his chest. And in the first time in 5 years, he really mean it.
"I love you Y/N, my love, my soulmate,"
"I love you Taehyung. You really had me at bathroom," she giggles.
"Oh shut up," Taehyung laughs and lifts her up, wrapping her legs around him. "Just shut up and kiss me. Just kiss me baby,"
And she really did.
#bts#bangtan boys#bangtan seonyeondan#bts fiction#bts fanfic#kim taehyung#bts v#taehyung scenario#taehyung angst#taehyung fiction#kpop#kpop fanfic#kpop scenario#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst
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okay, okay okay, okay. so here i go, idk if there will be a point in this but im gonna write it up anyways. so follow me down this weird half thought thur path or whatever
okay, so we know that tfatws takes place 6 months after endgame, long enough for things to no longer be new and the problems with what the avengers did (or undid if you prefer) are really setting in, not even a full year. the people who came back from the blip have only had 6 months to figure out whats going on, where their families were if they still had them, ect, ect and only 6 months for the people who were left behind to âadjustâ to having everything ripped away from them. i do wonder about a lot of things from this time, but i doubt that weâll get a ton of concrete answers about it.
anyways.
when we see sam in the opening action scene hes very confident and self-assured. hes in his element so to speak. hes strong, smart on his feet, and we see sam use his new wings as a shield multiple times which to me feels like either a kind of statement that sam doesnt need the shield or to show that he would be really good with the shield, it feels important somehow considering who important the shield becomes in the show.
also, the military guy tells sam that once the LAF get across the tunisia boarder its supposed to be a no-fly zone so to speak which is why it was important for sam to get him before which hints that not everywhere got rid of boarders. like, tunisia is in northern africa and when we meet the flag smashers later theyre mostly in eastern eurpoe and also torres makes a comment about things not being better during the blip and his american (im pretty sure) so again where these things are happening in relation to boarders and the like it still makes me think about how the world worked through the blip, but again probably wont get concrete answers.
also in this episode we see the first instance of sam being recognized for who he is by a man from tunisia (who im going to consider a character of color tho im not sure if this is considered accurate in the real world) and not recognized by white american men, this happens in episode two as well.
while the shield sort of becomes the super important symbol, we are also shown in this episode that steve has been kind put on a pseudo god-like position. yes, its a joke to ask if hes the moon of all places, but the whole âlooking down on usâ/âwatching over usâ feels a lot like the christian capital-G God. he has been put on this kind of pedestal by the people who really didnt know anything about him and also bucky (but hes been hanging by a thread for a while it seems so its a little different) in contrast to sam.
sam has a lot of respect for steve. he calls him courageous, righteous, and hopeful. the best in us because these emotions are supposed to inspire âgood worksâ as it were. sam then states that the world needs new heroes for the current times and that symbols only have meaning because of the people who give them meaning. and upon my rewatch this feels sam want to preserve the meaning that steve, his friend, imbued into the shield but also wants to move forward. i do think that the fact that sam is a black man who is not treated very well by america plays into his decision as well, i also think the fact that we hear the lines from endgame:
- it feels like it belongs to someone else.
-it doesnt.
is important. right now im thinking that the shield is essentially meaningless because steve is gone for all intents and purposes and he dropped it without a second thought. like i get it, in terms of what the show is doing and like i said, how people who dont know steve would probably react but even so many weeks later it sits weird. even the dora milige left the shield behind even though its made of stolen vibranium, cause its just a thing. anyways...
rhodey, after the speech, parrots back at sam that they do live in a different time, but he thinks that this different time does require someone to carry the shield.
then we meet sams sister and his nephews. sam and his sisters relationship does hold a lot of tension between them but theres still so much love there as well. its very normal, reminds me of tension that i feel between myself and some of my family members and that i see between different family members as well.
sarah wilson is a black woman who, like many black women I know, have been holding things together the best she can with (seemingly) not much help. we know that sam left after their father died (i dont remember if their mother is also dead), he couldnt handle it as stated, so he went off and fought. but in being gone he sarah ran the business the best she could. shes also a widow, not sure when that happened but y'know thats there too.
but ii think that how sam feels about his familys home and boat in contrast with how he treated the shield kind of. sam references the boat as their familys legacy (sarah also calls their dad a 'giant' and that not mattering to the bank and probably others) and he doesnt want to let that go no matter what. however both of these are acts of preservation on sams part, just in different ways. he tried to let one go while desperately trying to hold on to the other, one to be put in stasis and one to move forward, grow, passed down ect, ect.
now sam really only tries to get involved with the flag smashers because he theyre super soldiers. and i guess youd call this the inciting incident part of act one.
now the next three episodes are very intertwinded in the plot and what kind of world sam would be becoming captain america in. sam makes an off handed comment that sharon, zemo, and bucky are more worldly than him but thats true. and he does have to...learn, is the best word i have. i mean, the most he can do right now is âmake a callâ as he puts it which really isnt a lot considering whats been going on.
and to backtrack (sorry if this is all over the place) we do see sam constantly empathizing with the flag smashers and more specifically karli consistently throughout the show. if they werent super soldiers hed not have crossed their path the way that he did. throughout the show, well before episode 4, sam is really focused on like where exactly the super soldiers are coming from, the fact that the flag smashers are stealing money, and food, and medicine he doesnt really care.
when he has his heart to heart with karli the main problem that he has honestly, is the murders (and i do wish that there was distinction made cause that is important, but i know that in show sam probably doesnt know that karli blew up a building with people tied up in it like we do but its important that we know that), when he says that the killings wouldnt make the world better just different along with karli saying âtheyre roadblocks on my journey and id kill them again if i had toâ (which is 1. very dehumanizing, 2. she says 'my' and not 'our', and 3. she didnt have to kill these low level workers) is more  a restructuring of power instead of dismantling it.
like theres a lot here but my minds not connecting fully.
i know the show isnt over so ii dont really have a conclusion (i honestly havent even said half of what I took notes about) but its like 4 am here and I gotta go to bed. And I dont want this ti be multiple parts right now I just needed to get this outta my system lol.
part 2 whenever
#tfatws#the falcon and the winter soldier#sam wilson#//these is really bad actually lol dont read it im tired
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Mulan and Loceit!
Sorry if it's not what you expected, havent seen any Mulan movie since I was little so I dont remember much about it ;-;
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Logan was quite content with his life, and he was rather smart for someone of his social status. But of course there was only one thing anyone ever seemed to want from him, a husband. He'd just never seen the point in love, or feelings in general for that matter, it all seemed pointless. Yet there he was, getting ready to see if he could ever land the husband his family so desperately wished he would. Make-up itched, and clothing to, everything itched and he hated it. He hated these pointless rituals and matchmaking, hated love, hated feelings. But he sat and smiled, because that's what a good son does, sits and smiles and gets a spouse to carry on his family's legacy. His grandmother had given him a cricket, he never understood how that was going to help him, it was highly unlikely that such superstitions were actually true.
But Logan found himself hoping his grandmother was correct in her assumptions as he walked to the matchmakers house. He hoped he wasnt sweating, makeup ran when in contact with liquids, he thought about how stupid makeup was again.
He wasnt sure when he'd been called, he barely remembered it, but next thing he knew he was sitting on the floor, pouring tea for matchmaker and pretending to have a genuine smile. He didnt have to pretend for much longer, the tea stains on the matchmakers face made her look almost as if she had a beard. She reached for the teacup, and Logan noticed the cricket his grandmother had given him poking its head out from the cup.
"Let me refill that for you-" he said, taking the cup quickly and trying to stall for time. The matchmaker eyed him suspiciously. Logan felt beads of sweat on his forehead and began to panic. This was a bad course of action.
Next thing he knew, or at least wish he knew, the matchmaker was on fire and screaming at him to get out.
"YOU WILL NEVER FIND A HUSBAND, YOU WILL BRING ONLY DISHONOR TO YOUR FAMILY!" the words cut through Logan like a knife. He didnt care about finding a husband, or feelings, or love. But he did care about family, and the disappointed looks from his own haunted him.
It seemed like the day couldnt get worse. Yet somehow, it did. Logan's mother was told she would be sent off to war, and there was nothing Logan could do to stop it. He'd stayed up for hours thinking and devising plans, watching his reflection in the pond, wondering what he'd done to become such a terrible son, when he came to a realization. He walked to the wardrobe his parents had always told him to stay away from, that it was for his mother only, he shouldnt touch it. But when he opened the wardrobe and took out the armor inside, he couldnt see why. Perhaps they thought him to fragile for war, but he disagreed. As he put on the armor and took the sword his mother used to show him when he was little, he felt stronger, smarter, even. He hadnt thought it possible for him to get any smarter than he already was, he suprised himself every day now it seemed. He raced to the stables and found his personal favorite horse, a tan palomino.
"You think you can handle a journey like this? It'll be a while before we can get back," Logan didnt know why he talked to the horse, it was such a stupid thing to do, but it seemed to understand him, he could have sworn he saw it nod. No matter the reaction, he climbed onto the horse's back and set off for the army, completely uncertain of whether or not he would return.
About half way through his journey, as Logan slept one night, he heard something moving in the field. He blinked his eyes open and looked up to see the shadow of a dragon on some stone. "What the-"
"GREETINGS MORTAL- IT IS I- REMUS!" said the dragon. Logan looked around, and noticed a small green dragon with brown lines on its nose nearby, the cricket was holding a torch toward it. "IM HERE TO TELL YOU TO-" the dragon seemed to notice Logan staring at him, "Oh-"
"You're here to help me." said Logan, who quite frankly was not expecting much from the dragon.
"I know more about this than you do, violence is my thing," said Remus the dragon, who was small and nonthreatening.
"I'm sure you do," said Logan sarcastically, but he decided to e
accept the dragon's help anyways, he supposed a talking dragon for company was better than no company at all.
He hadn't expected this to be an easy feat, not remotely, but the addition of General Deceit was something he absolutely couldnt wrap his head around. The general had scars all along one side of his face, he almost looked like he had scales. The rest of the army found him intimidating, Logan found his pushing frankly annoying.
Logan would make one mistake and hear "I've seen better from a servant," behind him. It was, to be frank, a drag. Remus tried to help him several times, but that only seemed to get him into more trouble.
"Alright, I think I've seen enough from you," Deceit's eyes were cold and unforgiving as they bore into Logan's own, he'd never been scared of the general, but this particular instance was an outlier. "Your time in this army is done, I expect your things and you to be gone by morning, Logic," the name had been used on a whim, Logan frankly didnt understand how anyone bought it, but that wasnt his place to say. He watched as Deceit stormed off to watch the other recruits, and he made a decision. He was going to practice until Deceit had no choice but to let him stay.
It worked like a charm, Logan would never forget the look on Deceit's face as he gaped at Logan, sitting atop the log that so many others had desperately tried to scale the previous day. He took great pleasure in Deceit's revocation of his previous command. But this was a war, he had to remember that.
It hadnt really felt like a war, hed been having so much fun talking with the other recruits, and been so caught up in hiding his identity that he had almost forgotten. Which was why when they came upon the decimated remains of another village, Logan didnt know how to cope. They were overtaken soon after, and amid the confusion Logan had managed to screw something up that he couldnt repair.
"What, exactly, is this?" Deceit had his hand wrapped around Logan's arm, despite the opposing armies supposed defeat, Logan had made a grave mistake. He had forgotten all about the markings he'd left on his arm the day of his matchmaking, he'd hoped they would have come off by now, he wished they had. "So you're not even a soldier, then?" said Deceit, the hiss in his voice clearly audible. Logan tried to sputter out a response, but to no avail. He was left there, in the cold, as the rest of the army fled back home. Remus tried to console him, but it was no use. He'd failed to gain honor in any situation, he wasnt a good husband, he wasnt a good soldier, and he wasnt a good scholar. He wasnt good enough at anything.
Logan's horse whinnied, he turned around to see his enemies rising out from where he'd thought they'd disappeared. Frantically, he got back on his horse, Remus latched onto his shoulder, and fled back home, hoping to warn Deceit before it was to late.
The journey seemed endless, but finally, Logan made it. He searched the crowds and streets for Deceit, catching a glimpse of his yellow eyes withing a parade.
"Deceit!" he rode up beside him, the man ignored him. "Deceit, the armies didnt die back at the mountains, we're all in danger! You have to listen to me!"
Deceit turned to face him "I dont take orders from a low-class man who couldnt even land a husband, you are not a leader, and you are not a soldier, stay in your own line." he growled. Logan glared and lead his horse away.
"How dare he! Well if he doesnt want to listen then we can just watch everyone die from out here!" said Remus angrily. Logan ignored him, he was to busy trying to formulate a plan so his idea wouldnt come to fruition. He finally landed on something, but it still required Deceit's help.
By the time he'd returned to the palace however, enemy forces had already arrived. He enlisted the help of some of his army friends as a distraction and ran off to find Deceit.
"Do you believe me now!" he said, halfway sarcastically. Deceit through him a sword and rolled his eyes. Together they fought through the army. Logan had never really noticed it before, but Deceit's intimidating demeanor was actually very pleasing to him, and he fought quite well for someone with so many injuries so close to his eye.
Logan hadnt expected any rewards, he'd expected a reprimand, punishment, maybe even death for what he'd done. Yet as he faced the crowds of people cheering for him, he felt happier than he ever had in his life, he watched Remus giving him a thumbs up, watched his parents beaming up at him from the audience, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He turned to face Deceit once again. The man rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "You uh, fight, well, for someone-"
"So nerdy?" Logan finished his sentence for him. Deceit flushed and Logan laughed. He said his goodbyes and headed back home.
He'd fully expected there to be no more suprises in his life, fore everything to go back to normal as soon as he put everything back in place. He should've known better, his life had been nothing but surprises recently, but at least this surprise was a pleasant one. Deceit's smiling face was a sight Logan had only ever dreamed of seeing again, and his words were something that caused even more joy.
"I'm in love with you, Logan, I dont know how or why, but its true," Deceit had told him. And Logan had smiled, hed felt it to, he'd never known what the word meant before, hed always thought of himself as a glitch in that particular system, yet here he was. Young, clever, and in love,and what a set of things to be indeed, he wouldnt change any of it for the world.
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I am so upset over the Gaud "discourse" (bullying) I can't sleep, so here is me running through the "reciepts" because every time Gaud talks someone jumps on and attacks..
A little perspective, I had never heard of @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses until last month. So I'm not an avid follower, I didnt participate in Gaudapocolpyse, or watch any of the livestreams- I just hate bullying and railroading. I am a female Autistic Jew who has survived childhood sexual abuse (and I'm adding that because of some of the stuff people are accusing Gaud of).
I went through the "reciepts" you can find on biggest-gaudiest-callout the updated version as of January 27, 2019 and I made notes. So buckle up cause this is going to be a long post. Bear with me I am on a cell phone so there will probably be a plethora of grammar and spelling errors. Here goes:
-the callout starts by stating that Guad is 27 and has a mostly minor fanbase this statement is made on the assumption that tumblr is 13+ and Guad makes "teenage humor" whatever that means, I'm a legal adult and I like the jokes, and one anon stating that they and their friends are 13/14. So it is just flat out assuming and you know what they say about assuming.
-next it states that Gaudpocalypse was a protest for the NSFW ban, which isn't true. It actually started because a person commented about an actual holiday (I believe in Catholasism) that had to do with pink that fell on the day. It was in the works before tumblr announced the change, so this was flat out bad fact checking.
-Gaud also commented that the "sexy" fan art they were expecting was Patrick Star in fishnets type stuff. They used NSFW, because as a fellow autistic they were taking it literally to mean Not Safe For Work, so not something you'd want to explain to a boss or co-worker- not porn.
-They have already addressed the Tuba fanfic, which is also not porn.
-Taking "age is just a number. a number estimating your proximity to death." to be pedophile related are purposely ignoring Guad's morbid death humor that they are known for.
-If we are vilifying people for reading yaoi, add me to the list. I went through a hard SasuNaru phase and not even 5% of it was G rated. (and you know what, I was a minor when I got into it and now that I've aged out of minorhood doesnt mean that I instantly stop liking what I liked).
-Shota: I went through a phase where I read rape, pedophilia, and even incest fanfics. And you know what, it was actually encouraged by my therapist. Sometimes people look at dark things because they are trying to work through their trauma. Now I don't know Guad's past, I don't know if there was abuse or anything, but either way: reading a manga, a fanfic, or even watching anime does not make you an abuser or pedophile. Sometimes it is a person the pedophile left behind trying to take control or figure things out. (The comparison is like saying that people that read James Patterson are serial killers or that only perverts watch Law and Order SVU).
-P.S. stop calling manga child porn. It cheapens what child porn actually is and the victims of it.
-"Recommending" Big Mouth on Netflix, personally I haven't watched a single episode, but it seems about the same level as South Park. It isnt meant for kids. And it obviously got approved by Netflix, so take it up with them if you don't like it.
-Okay hot take, apparently saying you don't want MAPs interacting with you coupled with wanting to know if someone is over 18 before you find them attractive makes you a pedophile- makes sense /sarcasm
-As a Jew, the whole sumptuary laws post was witty word play not antisemitism that Gaud wasnt even the OP for. (although the laws themselves are hella antisemitic, or at least were used for that purpose.) ((still doesnt make the two equal)).
-Wearing a kimono is not racist- I think you need a dictionary and a lesson on racism.
-Autism and Asexuality; Guad's post was about figuring yourself out and said "people on the autism spectrum are significantly more likely than general populace to identify as asexual or aromantic" - this is statistically accurate, there is no ableist statement here. They did not say all Autistics are asexual or that Autistics can't have romantic or sexual relationships, Gaud simply stated a fact and it was said in a post about themselves ans trying to figure out what they are.
-Reblogging a 12 year olds address for furbies, yeah not a good or smart decision and Gaud deleted the post. Nothing else can be done about it now and this happened over a year ago and as far as I've seen Gaud learned for the mistake ans hasn't done anything like that again.
-The Discord Server. Gaud asked for the server to be taken down. People are blaming Guad because they created the server and when they left things went south. The users were breaking Discord ToS and doing horrible things. However l, blaming Guad because they created the server is like blaming Ford for drunk drivers because they made the car.
-Canabalism- this is laughable. 98% of the time Gaud is posting as an incorpreal eldritch being...just really look at the blog as a whole and ask yourself if you're making smart conclusions.
-The "crayon fiasco": Guad raised money to eat a crayon on livestream. People have taken issue with this for a variety of reasons. 1) "Gaud said the money was for rent and bought champagne" no, no they didnt, that was a joke. The money was indeed for rent, the cheap champagne was bought with a gift card. 2) "The money could have gone to medical expenses or someone in need." People are allowed to give and not give however they see fit. This arguement is about as strong as standing in front of a movie theater and shouting that the patrons should donate their money to food banks instead of watching a show and when they still go watch the movie calling the movie evil forexisting. 3) "Gaud is manipulating minors into giving them money" first of all most minors don't have that much money and I see it no more manipulative (actually I see it way less manipulative) than my sister asking my mom for money for Club Penguin. It is paying for entertainment which we do all the time and I still have yet to see the stats that it is "mostly minors".
I'm just over everyone railroading and bullying Gaud. When Guad does apologize for something people start screaming that the apology is manipulation. You have made a situation where there is no winning. Gaud ignores the callouts and you don't like. Gaud asks for information on some of the accusations and they get called names. Gaud apologizes ans gets accused of manipulating. What do you honestly want? You have built an argument on stunted facts, and just scream loud enough and long enough trying to get Guad to break. People have already started blocking Guad based on the telephone game of rumors and "reciepts" that I just went through. Enough is enough. If you don't want to follow Gaud or read their posts that is up to you, but just be quiet already. In the words of Frozen "Let It Go".
@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses if you want me to take this down I will, it is your business after all. I just couldn't stand idly by and watch what these people are doing.
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