#it just depresses me to see the kind of discussions going on abt the movie online...

[lewyn-martell]

i guess i'm gonna use this opportunity to babble on about this since the topic has been raised in the tags... i was going to wait or maybe just not do it since i was limited to 10 gifs and this is only a fraction of the great webweaving you can do with this movie... but whatever ksjdnkjs

one thing to get out of the way... i hope we can all agree that pádraic is a grown man. colm is not out there twisting his arm to be snappy to everyone around him because of his broken heart... and when colm is shown to be considerate, it's not because pádraic is such a nice man that he can get it out of him on those moments specifically. and when pádraic is mean it's not on colm because he is supposedly oh so mean... i know this is probably not exactly what was meant, but it's an underlying feeling in that i get from discussions of this movie and i did this gifset precisely because people get way too caught up on pádraic poor nice boy and colm mean old dick.

'niceness' and the lack of it are tied very closely with mental health in this movie. the Before for these characters involves: pádraic being a 'nice' 'happy' lad even if dull, i.e. (in this context), shallow of thought: will never do introspection. thinks these bad things should be just pushed down for the sake of appearances and cordiality. we are men who meet at 2 o'clock to go to the pub and talk about nothing. we don't read sad books else we might get sad and discover a thing or two about ourselves that could be unpleasant. he is basically the epitome of the this is fine dog meme.

colm is an older man who we soon learn has been wallowing in despair and now dealing with the fact that his life is nearing its end. he is an artist (also described as a 'thinker') and that probably feels like the only thing he is good at (or good for) when his head is as messed up as it is. he lives on a tiny boring island filled with "nice" judgy people who have no qualms about whispering about each other's business (especially if it's bad stuff) while at the same time covering up things too hard to look in the face in the name of the social and personal order of the everything is fine agenda.

i understand why people might think colm just woke up and decided to spring up to pádraic the end of their friendship since we're watching the movie from pádraic's perspective. but it becomes clear throughout the movie that colm cares and feels for him and is not acting on a mindless whim. the audience has to then imagine what kind of things go on his head to drive him to such drastic choices. we don't ever have a full end-all-be-all explanation, but he makes a few things on his mind known and we can draw some conclusions: he doesn't feel at peace in his normal routine and has even been talking to the priest about this despair that is getting worse while his life dwindles. he considers composing music his last line of defense against the seemingly meaningless pit his life will have amounted to, because if people can't see his heart now, maybe he can buy himself more metaphorical time by leaving something for the ones who come later. maybe for them to enjoy and connect to, same as it is for him and old musicians. this is a man at the end of his rope dealing with one hell of a depression.

and while colm takes his anguish and tries to separate himself from people to deal with it, pádraic is so unequipped to deal with his own sadness and loneliness he blows it up to everyone around him. he was still (and might've even stayed there forever, if it wasn't for this incident) on the stage of denying it's there at all. i think colm might even have underestimated both how much pádraic feels for him and how far he is willing to take things because of it. the loneliness it brings forth ends up being too overwhelming for him to do what he usually does.

and the even better thing about this movie is: it's not simply one man's misery rubbing off on the other. colm's own way of dealing with it evolves - or devolves, however you choose to see it - the more pádraic's touches him back and the more he realizes his initial decision was no magic fix. because there is a difference colm had no way of knowing and regulating between facing his own sadness and allowing it to fully take over. we realize music isn't working when he threatens to cut his fingers off (another situation in which colm chooses to harm himself rather than anyone else btw. not all altruistic, of course, but an example of how his decision making works). it ends up being a relief to him, because i think he was putting way too much pressure on himself and chasing the wrong solutions.

but they are way past any return point. because pádraic has realized niceness is one of the first casualties when you are in the middle of despair, if you're not mature enough or don't have energy enough to prevent it. and here i mean both the, uh, duty of keeping up appearances - in a less cynical way, having the emotional space to be pleasant to others without letting your misery leak, as is expected in this context - and the more earnest interpretation it's also there of choosing or being able to cultivate friendship and see Good Meaning in human connection, with all its flaws and complications.

so pádraic's been chasing his fix of getting colm back in his life again, and he slowly grows into the notion that he has to be not truthful, not vulnerable, but harsh. in his mind, the only path he has is channeling his sadness into anger and turn whatever they have left dragging on behind them into some toxic morph of love and hate and resentment and, honestly, some kind of pure entertainment to not lose their damn minds. pádraic takes a look at colm digging his own abyss and decides that he'll show him what an abyss truly is by smashing theirs together until it doesn't even matter how it started. we are never getting out. he can't allow himself to be the oblivious happy lad, he has been forced to face what he's been always pushing down and because of what colm said, he can't afford to be dull. it's not a fully coherent thought, but in his mind, this is the way for them to connect now and he will make sure that this bond is never severed since it seems more sturdy and steady than the complicated vulnerable position of simply dealing with love in its positive sense. and colm eats it up, of course, because it was his insanity with pádraic that was filling his days and even giving him the feeling needed to write music. it was their miseries touching each other that started to give him a better answer: it was human connection after all. while before pádraic and him were mismatched, now they are on the same page and they both see each other better.

in a way, simplifying the themes, i also see this movie as one man rushing to catch up with the other, but running so hard and fast he takes them both past any kind of happy middle, that was a nearly impossible concept with them living when and where they do anyway. and it ends up being miserable but also born out of a mixed-up desire and necessity to face difficult and ugly things. and sure, it's not dealt with in any healthy sense, but it's also not gone. two fucked up men make their situation even more fucked up in order not to lose each other. and they might be just entertaining themselves until comes the inevitable, but isn't that what we all do on this earth anyways.

You used to be nice. Or did you never used to be? Oh God. Maybe you never used to be.

THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN (2022) dir. Martin McDonagh

[blackberry-gingham]

hello! 💕 i love your writing so much, your imagines are always so well done. and i was wondering if you could do an imagine abt the boys finding out and comforting you abt your self harm (it’s always been kind of a touchy subject to me and i’d love to see how you think they’d react) much love 💕✌🏻

TW: Mentions of Self Harm/Cutting and Blood

Hm, well I can try... I'm going to be honest, this is a little gritty for me and I don't really have much experience with this topic aside from personal stories from those around me, but I'll do my best.

These imagines are going to focus basically 100% on the boys reactions and how they'd care for you, so it won't be like super in depth on the actual self injury.

Oh and one last thing, I don't think I could be comfortable posting this without giving the reader the ending they deserve for a scenario as serious as this, so if you notice the endings are a bit repetitive, just know that's intentional.

---

George

The first thing he smells is the blood

He was on his way to relieve himself, when the stench of it flooded his nostrils, even from down the hall

Immediately George jumps into fight or flight mode, his heart beating in his ears

The only other person in the flat is you

He calls your name, urgently, but not yelling just yet

The door is on a crack when George arrives

You did it on purpose. You know you want to be found, but you don't know what to say...

George knocks gently and calls your name again, "Is everything alright?"

All this time you've been trying to pull yourself together, but the concern in his voice breaks you

"G-george...", You trail off sobbing bitterly

It's all the permission to enter he needs

You're curled up into yourself, sitting in the tub. It's empty, but George's razor is laying on the side

Sobs wrack your half naked body and all George can think to do is hold you

He climbs into the tub with you, paying no mind as the drops of blood stain his dress pants

"I'm here, I'm here..."

George holds you in a tight hug and lets you cry into his shirt

He notices the open cuts along your flesh and suddenly he puts two and two together

However, he doesn't say anything about it, instead he waits until you've calmed down a bit

Once you're ready he helps you up and sits you on the toilet

As gently and respectfully as he can, he asks what's going on

George gives you time, and you work up the courage to talk to him about it as he dresses your wounds

He listens to everything you have to say, and when you're all cleaned up, he does everything he can to make sure you're taken care of and as relaxed as can be

Once you're asleep, George shoots John a call and asks for advice on how to best help you

John advises that he should've taken you to a doctor if the wounds were that bad, but George promises to try and ask you to go in the morning

It takes a lot of courage from you, but you agree to get your injuries seen

Once at the doctor, they recommend some therapists for you

George encourages you to get the treatment you deserve, and does anything at all that he can to support you through the process

John

It's the end of a long day, and John has just freshened up for bed

But first, he's off to take his medication and grab a cup of water, just like every night

He approaches the kitchen, then slows down to listen

There's a distinct hissing and grunting coming from around the corner

At first he's just confused

He knows it must be you, but what on earth are you up to?

John turns the corner and flips on the light, and that's when his heart drops

You're leaning against the counter and the utensil drawer is open

In your hand is a steel steak knife

It's dripping blood

You're entire arm is covered in gashes, and you don't look very well

John doesn't waste a minute on words, instead he jumps right to action

He restraints you in a bear hug, pinning your arms to your side

Probably not the best reaction he could've picked, but he simply can't risk you doing anything that might make you lose more blood

You drop the knife and scream, your knees buckling under you

You're hurting

Ashamed

Frustrated

Afraid...

You burst into a violent fit of sobs, shaking so badly, John has to readjust his grip

He sinks slowly to the floor with you and you lean against him limply

John does his best to give you some reasurance, and tell you that everything will be alright, but he knows you can't stay here

In a flash, he grabs his boots, wallet, and keys and takes you to the hospital

You lose consciousness on the way there, but luckily with some fluids and a blood transfusion, you pull through

John waits a few days until you're healed to talk about that night with you

He's gentle and careful about his words, but he implores you to give therapy a try

You absolutely deserve it after all

He recommends the one he sees, but of course you can have anyone you wish

John does everything he can to support you in your healing journey and helps you see it though

Paul

After a day of recording Paul comes home on the look for you

He's got a nice little evening planned, maybe a movie and some takeaway to unwind

What he wasn't expecting, was to hear you sobbing and screaming behind a locked bedroom door

He calls your name, and pounds on the door, terrified that someone is in there with you, hurting you

You don't respond, only continuing to cry

Paul can't wait any longer, you need him now

His first instinct is to try and break the door down

He give a few shoulder charges, but to his frantic frustration, it doesn't seem to be doing much

"Paul, stop!"

At last you speak and Paul obeys

Tears are already streaming down his eyes, he's so scared and confused for you

Hesitantly, you unlock the door, terrified and ashamed to reveal your secret

There's a bit of blood coming from your scalp, and little patches of your hair are missing

More blood can be found under your nails, and that's when Paul notices the scratches on your arms

You don't say anything, instead more tears escape you as you quietly cry

But you don't have to say a word, Paul figures out what he needs to himself

He takes you in his arms and consoles you until you know you're safe

Paul's spent enough time hearing about John's therapy sessions to have a decent education on things of this sort

He asks if he can take you to a doctor, just to make sure nothing gets infected and that your injuries can be properly treated

You agree and get taken care of, but before you're cleared to go home, you and Paul discuss therapy options with the doctor

There's plenty of options for you to take a route to healing that you're most comfortable with, and Paul is proud of you every day and every step, for being strong enough to get the help you deserve

Ringo

All Ringo can see is how terrified and in pain you are

He doesn't notice the cuts and the blood until after

And by that point, he feels hysterical with anxiety

He's so overwhelmed with both the desperate desire to help you, and the crushing confusion of what to do that he's frozen

After a moment, he snaps out of it and rushes to your side

He's crying nearly as much as you are, which understandably only makes you twice as upset

Ringo asks you what he can do, desperate for some sort of guidance

But you can't respond, you're too overwhelmed yourself

For now, he resorts to just holding you

It's the only thing he can do to try and calm himself and not upset you any more then he already has

Once he's had some time to collect himself and think, he does his best to help with your wounds

He's already ruined his shirt with blood, so screw it

He takes it off and tears it into bandages, administering them where needed and talking to you all the while

It takes longer then you'd have liked, but eventually you're able to calm down, even after the stress Ringo unintentionally put on you

"There now", Ringo's voice is shaking, but he's doing all he can to keep it together for you

He's finished apply his shirt bandages, "You need a proper doctor love... Do you think you can do that?"

You bite your lip, trying to hold back another bout of tears, but you nod

That's all Ringo needs to hear

He helps you up and takes you straight to the doctor

While you're being treated, he calls the lads, whoever will listen, and tries to get reasurance that he did this right

John scolds him for upsetting you, but otherwise tells him he was right to get you a proper doctor

Before he hangs up, he strongly advises Ringo to, gently, ask you about seeing a therapist

Ringo swears it, and holds to his word, making sure to stay calm and be respectful of your emotional state when he asks

You decide that that is what you want, and the two of you discuss local practicioners with the doctor

All the while that you're on your healing journey, Ringo does everything he can to educate himself on anxiety, depression, and triggers in order to be more helpful for you along the way and in the future

[reversecreek]

✵ zloane , bravier , nyla and sean

ZIGGY & SLOANE

their first impression of your muse:

sexy. tugged on her hair literally the first time he saw her hadn’t even had a conversation bt was just like target? located. going? ✈️ annoy her. probably initially just thought she was only at the skate park bc sean was n was like 🙄 then she cld actually skate n he was like 😏 liked that she gave him shit. found it funny pushing her buttons. liked her eyes. probably was like wtf is in the fuckin water in this town yo why all my friends got hot sisters that shit aint right tryna make me a dog....... not that he was even. phased by betraying those boundaries bt. still. i won’t lie his main first impression was probably jst damn bit hot when she glares at me like that. KJHFSGKSJHGKGHSFKGH

current impression:  

knows her a little more than he likes to know people. favourite person to argue w. can possibly skate better than him bt if she said so he’d be like “ur off ur fuckin tits man” n then practice secretly on his own for hours that night n get 9457295 scrapes. doesn’t like talking abt her dad like him so one time he put a firework in his mailbox n never admitted it was him. has reactions to youtube videos tht make him snort. quite funny in general rly. drinks a lot not that he can judge it’s just sometimes he notices n once he even snatched her cup n drank the rest so she couldn’t. played it off as their typical fuckery bt he isn’t sure what that feeling was. hasn’t been concerned often enough to know it by name. finds her hot at inappropriate moments like when a movie chara’s dying n he’s meant to be sad. finds her hot when she pisses him off too. thinks mayb she likes the excuse to hold onto him when she rides on his vespa but he kind of likes it too so he’s not about to call it out bc “he isn’t about that deep shit”. 

are they attracted to your muse?:  

KFJHGKJGHFGKFHSGKSHGKSFGH. imagine i was jst like no <3... yes. he likes to act like he’s less so than he is bt it’s obvious.

something they find frightening about your muse:

i wouldn’t say it frightens him bt sometimes he catches her looking at him a certain way n it unsettles him but he doesn’t know why. usually just pretends he didn’t catch it.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

he likes her short hair he’s always ruffling it n tugging on it. whenever she hs bumps n scrapes n bruises from falling off her board n getting back on over n over again jst never giving up or giving a fk. when she acts like she isn’t jealous.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

umm. no. he’s an asshole. KGJSHFKGHSKFHGSKFGHKGH. sighs.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

no..... sees that as dangerous territory wouldn’t wna blur the lines. looks away.

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

baddie. FKGJHSKGHFGSFHGSKGHSFKHG. demonic (when they’ve had a fight). 

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. he loves to argue w her but it never feels that Real u know... more like flirting. even when they’re rly pissed off. wld never enter that territory he hates shit like tht w a passion. cue round of applause from the audience for this absolutely low bar.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

i feel like they’re not rly huggy people...... ziggy probably puts his arm around her a lot tho he loves doing that. hs kissed her more times than he can count too n doesn’t plan on stopping

BRADLEY & XAVIER

their first impression of your muse:

funny. mean in a more digestible way than she was used to. he had barbs n she liked the way people winced when they tried to swallow his company. when she got paired w him for a class project she met his eyes across the room n he didn’t quickly look away like most ppl. something abt that intrigued her. a sharp fingernail inside her head kept having to itch at something n she realised it was the urge for him to call her a bad name. this weird craving to hear an angry word inside his mouth just for her. she used to think that’s what someone wanting her was like. still does sometimes. this both pissed her off n caught her attention which is a bit of an accomplishment fr someone who gets bored by everyone n everything.

current impression:  

his heart’s more good than she expected. it felt a bit like having a cat drop a dead mouse at ur doorstep that u don’t know what to do with when she realised that. she felt uncomfortably like her mother when she couldn’t get out of his bed bc she was too depressed n that rly made her feel like. ill honestly. he did all the right things but suddenly she just felt sick abt the whole situation which is Not the normal reaction to ur bf caring about u but bradley doesn’t understand ppl caring abt her. felt more like pity. she thinks he’s better off. she misses him sometimes bt then she reminds herself she doesn’t miss people. does a good job of believing it. one of the best ppl she’s dated not that she’d say it.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

yes..... ws probably. unhinged n rabid when they were dating. very good at hiding it now however. cold at the drop of a hat.

something they find frightening about your muse:

that he witnessed her being vulnerable............ literally grosses her out so much like she’d rather die than. anyone see her like that. when they were dating she’d get paranoid her dad wld somehow find out too n smthn wld happen to him for it. it ws definitely weird for her like the fact she even cared enough to consider tht.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

adorable is rly not a word that fits into bradley’s vocabulary GHSFGHSFKGHSFKG bt hm. maybe if he ever tried to tell her what to do one time even casually. she’d b like awww..... u think i do what anyone tells me? that’s so fucking sweet. 

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

in most cases no :/..... however if it was smthn to do w the guys that work for her dad then ya she’d put herself in danger to avoid him being in it.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

i mean she has in the past bt bradley’s idea of dates is like. starting a bar fight together. getting thrown out of a club n both falling over into trash cans in a dingy back alley. stealing a car. breaking into a random house n fking in a stranger’s bed. fking in the bk of a movie theatre w a horror movie screening. definitely not dinner or anything like tht. she wldn’t now........ they’re not exactly in a place fr that..... 

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

ex. whatever. i know it’s not one word but “some guy”. FGHSKGHFGKSHG >_>

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. she’s a violent person bt not xavier.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

NO hugging...................... she fronts like she wldn’t kiss him bt like. if a discussion got heated n they were in each other’s faces who’s to say. 

NYLA & SEAN

their first impression of your muse:

strange little fella which is a very high compliment. kind of reminded them of an animated turtle come to life in the human realm altho they honestly don’t have an explanation for that it’s just the way their brain works. they love the turtles in finding nemo tho so maybe there’s some sort of correlation. very nice face. they kind of wanted to hold his head like a bowling ball just so they could examine it properly. i feel like when they first met him they probably reached out n smoothed a sticky label onto his forehead that said ‘catfish in chernobyl’ n they had one on their forehead that was blank n then they just wafted a pen mid air n were like ‘wanna play guesses?’ even tho that isn’t the name of the game. as if that was just. a completely normal introduction to someone. FGKHSKHGSFKGHSFKG. feel like sean wld have rolled w that tho so nyla was like :P i like.... if they played another round they’d give sean another sticky label that said ‘the loneliest whale in the world’ n then it’d start a whole conversation abt how nyla thinks they can speak whaleish. (whale spin on elvish). 

current impression:  

sean makes them think of that artificial blue raspberry flavour some popsicles have n how it’s always rly fun when they stain ur tongue. sweet n exuberant n leaves a bright impression. he lets them ride on his skateboard sometimes rolling along being lead by them holding his hand n nyla likes to shut their eyes like they’re a bird sailing above the clouds. one of their favourite things to do especially when the sun’s out. bc of this nyla thinks sean was a bird in his past life but not a greedy one like a seagull or a plain one like a pigeon. maybe a bluebird bc of his eyes. he makes them laugh a lot. they entrusted him to babysit their children (as pictured) in his hair for a whole day and night once n they had lots of fun with him so nyla thinks he’s very trustworthy and kind. he also is rly easy to talk to like they cld randomly be like “i’ve been thinking lately that maybe homer simpson could’ve been a good figure skater” n sean wldn’t look at them like they’ve lost their marbles he’d just go w it. they like his company a lot.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

😏

something they find frightening about your muse:

ummm nothing in particular altho one time when they were rly tripping out bc his eyes are blue n it got them thinking abt the ocean n they always think they can talk to ghosts underwater so they were kind of like. thinking abt ghosts whenever they looked him in the eyes. maybe covered their own w their hands n if sean asked why they told him abt it. suddenly he shut his eyes to make them feel better n it turned into a whole thing where nyla had to lead him around the party like a guide dog.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

his nose. watching him talk to his siblings. his hands.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

😌 yea

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

yes............ feel like they’d have fun if they went anywhere tbh........ cn imagine them at a fair eating from the same cotton candy n chattering as they point out things. nyla trying to do that hammer game where u make the meter reach the top n lifting the hammer in the air n falling backwards bc it was heavier than they anticipated.... sean yelling like man down man down..... mayb they take a tab n suddenly the fair is so scary they’re like 😳 we’re in danger...

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

silly (affectionate). sailor (also term of endearment). gnome (same thing again). cool.

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no ur sick....

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

ya to both. jst suddenly had a vision too of nyla being cold one time n clinging to sean from the front like a bushbaby in a hug as he carries her around. suddenly this mode of transportation hs happened more thn once (godmod) (contact my lawyers if u dare bebe) (bitch) (i take it back) (it wasn’t right alli it jst wasn’t right) (pelase forigev m eim shakign)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

[janiedean]

So was discussing this with a friend. S8 s*ansa talking about r+L even tho jon asked her not to. Initially we were like book!s would never, but then my friend said book!s DID in book 1 (telling ned's plan to c). Now obviously these are 2 v different situations. Book!s was a kid who had NO idea abt the larger context of things, and she wasn't aware of the political games going on. She genuinely thought she was doing the Right thing or at least what would eventually benefit her and her family 1/2

~because if c and joff are happy it will benefit the starks. So my friend said s8 stuff wasn't all that different since she genuinely believed Dany was nuts and Westeros was better off without her and that jon couldn't see it because he loved her. Plus if jon ends up on the iron throne (which is what we thought she was getting at in telling tyrion) it's again good for the starks? What do you think? If nothing it made sense in the context of show!s considering LF her mentor? 2/2

... I... respectfully disagree on just about everything. In order:

as you said, book!sansa had no fucking idea what she was doing, she was being misled by both cersei and joffrey and she thought she was saving her father, not benefit her family, which is normal given that she’s... twelve. or whatever;

now, the problem is that it’s bad writing if a character starts somewhere and arrives at the same place without nothing having fucking changed in between unless it’s a movie whose point is being depressing or specifically wants to be tragic, because like... circular writing for *long* series where people get invested in *character development* means that we get at the same situation but with changed people - for one, idk, it’s circular writing if jaime’s last line in the series is the things I do for love after he idk knights brienne or saving tyrion’s life or doing something selfless, because we went from jaime who does things for love that are bad for him and bad for everyone else involved to jaime doing things for love for good reasons, which is why among the other reasons the bells is a shit episode that doesn’t work on any level, so if sansa spills the truth about jon to tyrion exactly the way she did in got therefore causing harm and the only difference is that she knows she’s causing harm sansa hasn’t had any development outside of ‘wow she started as a sweet girl and now she’s cersei 2.0′;

on that sense, the entire point in sansa being mentored by lf in the book is that she’s not going to turn out like him or cersei which is plenty obvious because it’s been four books and she’s still kind and empathetic to everyone including people who hurt her, so that is not a legitimate writing choice imvho;

now, about sansa spilling about r+l, there is a whole other level of wrong in it, which we can further divide into the following categories: a) first of all for what THE SHOW told me, sansa basically decided dany was nuts and hated her because WHY THE FUCK NOT - there is no literal reason for show sansa to dislike dany that much when she went with jon to help, JON was the king so it was his decision to kneel, she didn’t hurt the northerners and she arrived with an army to kill the goddamned zombies, so basically by the point she spills to tyrion she seems like she’s doing that out of pettiness - honest, by 8x04 dany hadn’t... looked nuts or anything, and I’m saying it as someone who doesn’t care about dany but thinks that if S8 did one thing was making you root for her even if you previously didn’t; b) sansa swore in front of a heart tree (which is sacred to northerners) that she wouldn’t spill and then she did, which is... not that great; c) more than that, it was going against jon’s wishes because jon made overtly clear that he didn’t want the throne, that he didn’t want to act on his rights and that he knelt to dany and that he wasn’t interested in challenging her claim, so if sansa wanted him to be king she was basically ignoring what HE wanted without even consulting with him first, which is an incredibly bad breach of trust on her side that honestly, if I had been jon in the finale I’d have told her to fuck off and that I never wanted to see her again X°DD like you don’t put people on thrones when they didn’t ask you to out of disliking the legitimate ruler that your brother who was king at the moment bent the knee to because you presumably.... want the independent north which in the books is a thing that will happen because bran is 100% the next kitn, but is not a thing inherently seen as morally better or more just than any other option and which neither ned nor robb actually wanted, so.... no;

‘dany being nuts’ was a decision dnd took without even planning it well because she basically lost it without one single illegitimate reason - I mean, again considering that I don’t care for dany and I think she’s a good khaleesi but not a great ruler and that her adwd stint confirms it and that she’s not endgame ruler for the end of the books... what I see in S8 is that the poor girl goes to winterfell to help them and sansa treats her like shit and everyone treats her like shit, she has to see one of her dragons die once, jorah dies in front of her, when she tries to mingle with the others she gets treated like she doesn’t belong, then it turns out that her new boyfriend is her nephew and a threat to her claim which she has staked her entire storyline on, then almost all of her closest advisors decide to turn against her for wtf reasons when she said from the beginning that she was there to kill cersei and reclaim her rights, then she loses her second dragon and her best friend in the span of one day, then during the bells she goes berserk because they decided to give her joncon’s storyline out of nowhere and bc dnd haven’t even read the first version of the first dance with dragons, but like... honestly at that point my opinion was ‘if she goes and dracaryses the entire continent I’ll just cheer because what the fucking fuck is this they just made her sympathetic and sansa looks like a cold scheming asshole which is not the character I love’, so like... where is the truth? the truth is that dnd decided to go with that shit ending where maybe 5% was grrm’s thing (I mean the small council made of cripples bastards and broken things is a grrm thing, how they get there.... no) and dany didn’t feature in it and they didn’t know how to finish and they went with that also because they knew most fake feminist press was rallying behind the ‘sansa as queen in the north who needs no man’ bullshit storyline so what the fuck let’s just go with that, and like.... again: as someone who doesn’t gaf about dany in the books, that was just not it period

tldr: s8 sansa makes sense maybe if we take her as a separate character who has nothing to do with her book self and that dnd wrote to be cersei lite except slightly more likable, but her actions make no sense, her writing makes no sense and hasn’t since they gave her theon’s fucking sl in S5 and there is literally nothing past episode 8x02 except maybe four scenes that actually makes any shred of narrative sense as an adaptation and within the show’s context, since a lot of stuff is basically characters contradicting each other. I said what I said. /shrug

[grellsuke]

do you have any good lgbt manga recs? i just finished shimanami tasogare and loved it

yes!!!

Authors:

yuhki kamatani - the author of shimanami tasogare! kamatani is x-gender (and ace!) and thoroughly incorporates lgbt characters into their works. the others aren’t like focused on the lgbt experience like how shimanami is, but they’re all wonderful and beautiful and have lgbt characters and i highly, highly rec them.

akiko morishima - a lesbian mangaka who i really like! she’s really good abt tackling the traditional stereotypes in yuri manga as well as writing stuff about older characters and frankly discussing sexuality and shit. she also has works that are not yuri manga-centric but iirc a good chunk if not all of them still have lgbt characters, so they’re worth checking out as well! (she does have a few works with some fuckshit in them tho, fair warning)

takako shimura - i don’t personally know what her sexuality is (tho shes a woman, i know this), but shimura is pretty well-known for her lgbt works. wandering son and aoi hana are probably her most famous, at least over here in the west! she also tends to incorporate lgbt themes into her works that don’t center on lgbt characters as well.

ebine yamaji - another lesbian mangaka! yamaji’s works are very... realistic, usually about lesbian working through things. there’s a lot of trauma and a lot of sadness in her works, as well as sexual content, and i really love her art. i haven’t read ALL of her works, but what i have, i’m enamored with. they’re sad but rarely TRAGIC.

hiyori otsu - i don’t actually know otsu’s sexuality, but she’s a shoujo ai/yuri mangaka who writes a lot of genuinely sweet stuff. her works tend to very much be on the softer side of things, even if they can be bittersweet, and i’ve really enjoyed all i’ve read by her. it’s nice to just, be able to read a simple and nice lesbian manga without any major angst or tragedy or even sexual content sometimes, you know?

Autobiographies:

honey x honey by sachiko takeuchi - a slice of life little manga about the author and her girlfriend! it is abt a decade old, which you can see some of, but it’s a really cute peek into their lives and japanese lgbt culture. there ARE sequel(s?), but i unfortunately haven’t managed to find any english translations for them. if you do, let me know!

my lesbian experience with loneliness by kabi nagata - i own this manga! i keep it squirreled away in the bottom of my desk and pull it out every few weeks or so because it’s deeply, deeply relatable to me. the first time i read this manga i sat down and cried because i felt it deep in my soul. absolutely rec!!! there’s also a sequel, my solo exchange diary.

the bride was a boy by chii - a cute little manga about a trans woman named chii, recounting her early years up to her current life, her transition and how she met her husband (+ abt their relationship). it’s super cute and sweet, and very informative!! an absolute rec!!

i was born the wrong sex! by mayufu konishi - i haven’t quite finished this one yet, but this is a highly informative manga about a trans woman heading to thailand for her surgery! it’s extremely extremely informative about every single step of the process, and the author is an absolute delight, so it’s one i’d absolutely rec.

our journey to lesbian motherhood by emiko sugiyama/koyuki higashi/hiroko masuhara - have you heard of the lesbians that got married in disneyland tokyo? this is them!!! this is their autobiographical story of, well, their journey to lesbian motherhood! it’s very good, i definitely enjoyed it - it IS a sequel to another manga by them, but i sadly couldn’t find an english translation anywhere… it’s completely understandable without having read it, though!!

fictional manga:

my brother’s husband by gengoroh tagame - this is one i haven’t read myself, but is pretty damn high up on my ‘next to read’ list. the author is a prominent gay bara author - this is his first dabbling into more family-friendly series. he’s also recently started another family-friendly one called our colors that may be worth looking into as well!

whispered words by takashi ikeda - it’s been a good long while since i’ve read this, but i really enjoyed this when i was younger! (has it already been almost 8 years since it ended?? i feel old) it’s about two lesbians who are best friends - one of which is secretly in love with the other. unfortunately, she’s very much not her friend’s type. :( i vaguely remember some kind of weird crossdressing shenanigans with one character, tho, so tread lightly with that.

koimonogatari by tohru tagura - if you liked shimanami, this is also probably right up your alley! it’s a very realistic manga about a boy finding out that one of his classmates is closeted and gay - and he promptly decides to tell no one because he’s not an asshole, which leads to him being one of this boy’s main confidants. it realistically deals with the homophobia that gay people face, as well as the main character’s slow realization that he’s not necessarily straight, either (or at least, that’s my hypothesis - it’s still ongoing!!). i really enjoyed it.

lonely wolf, lonely sheep by fuka mizutani - two women with the same name, same birth month, and same injury end up meeting by complete coincidence at the hospital. i genuinely adore this manga and all it is. despite it only being one volume long, it deals with heavier topics such as depression, self harm, homophobia, and iirc even suicide. it’s really, really good though and i wish all the best for them.

kono koi ni mirai wa nai by morihashi bingo - i recommend this one tentatively, as the last two chapters are not yet translated (as of 1/11/19), but i enjoyed what was there. despite the label as BL on many sites, this story is actually about a trans woman (tho there is also a gay man in the manga!). the note left off on the most recent chapter, chapter 10, was a very uplifting note that she is not alone and that how she feels is completely, utterly normal, and i have hope for the last two chapters! the art’s really pretty, too, and the metaphors. but again - who knows what could go down in the last two chaps. fingers crossed!

i hear the sunspot by yuki fumino - PLEASE read this one. this manga is about two college-aged young men who end up meeting when one LITERALLY stumbles across the other. kouhei, one of the boys, is hard of hearing - and the other boy, taichi, starts taking notes for him in class in exchange for lunch, and thus begins a friendship that will blossom into romance! it absolutely gets in depth on the hoh/Deaf community in Japan, and is definitely informative - and the guys are just genuinely so sweet (as well as the other characters!!!) and I wish them all the happiness. it’s STILL ONGOING so like, warning on that, but i’m really enjoying it so far. i think there’s also a movie based off it!

cirque arachne by nika saida - this one has some sexual elements to it, so fair warning on that, but i really enjoyed it! it’s a single volume manga about two acrobats that fall in love. the art was cute and i genuinely liked the characters, quite a lot. would definitely rec.

yuureitou by tarou nogizaka - i have not actually read this manga, but it’s another that’s amazingly high up on my to read list. it’s a supernatural horror manga, and the main couple is a trans man and a cis man! i’ve heard good things about it - from people i know personally, as well as just in general - and it’s one i can’t wait to check out.

ohana holoholo by shino tarino - i FEEL like this one is completed, but if it is, the translation isn’t done. either way, i did love what i read from this! ohana holoholo is about a bi woman raising her son along with her ex-girlfriend and their neighbor, nico. it’s really good, one that i HIGHLY recommend, and one of the woman is implied to be trans, too! (fingers crossed they explicitly state it please please please-) overall, i absolutely rec it, please check this out!

no. 6 by atsuko asano/hinoki kino - who HASN’T heard of no. 6? no. 6 is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the government is, well, the government. it involves two young men working to take it down alongside others and they fall in love. and one of the other characters is non-binary! ...honestly that’s probably the best i can describe no. 6 because WOW is it a wild trip. it’s a wild trip that i highly, highly recommend though! you want gays taking down the government alongside killer bees and a magical bug goddess? this is the manga for you. please read it.

asagao to kase san by hiromi takashima & bloom into you by nio nakatani - two shoujo ai manga centering around high schoolers that i haven’t actually read yet, both of which recently got animated adaptations!!! i have heard genuinely fantastic things about both of them (ESPECIALLY) the latter, and bloom into you is actually next on my reading list. they absolutely sound fantastic and i can’t wait to read them!!

seven days by rihito takarai/venio tachibana - a two-volume manga about two high school boys. every week, a boy named seryou goes out with a different girl - he treats them very well, showers them in attention, and then promptly breaks up with them at the end of the week because he didn’t fall in love with them. out of curiosity, his upperclassman, shino, asks him out one week - and thus begins their seven day romance. i really loved this, i really really did.

tamen de gushi by tan jiu - it’s an on-going webcomic about how two girls, qui tong and sun jing, meet and fall in love. the characters are all absurdly fantastic, from the two girls to all of the supporting characters around them, and it’s an absolute TREAT to read. i would highly rec it, there’s some lovely shenanigans in there.

last but not least, i highly rec manga written by the year 24 group. this group was a non-formal group of female mangaka in the 1970s that really revolutionized and influenced the shoujo manga genre. many of their works are considered classics today, with works such as kaze to ki no uta, claudine...!, the heart of thomas, and shiroi heya no futari among them. a lot of their works really dug in and examined sexuality and gender, and you can find some of the original shounen ai, shoujo ai, and trans manga among them. i’m a sucker for the classics, and i highly recommend them. i honestly could have listed every single of one these mangaka in my recommend authors list, but decided it was just easier to promote the group as a whole. the best for last, you know?

hope this helps, anon!

[evangclines-blog1]

what  if  we  ......  pretended  this  was  a  good  intro  .....  aha  just  kidding  .....  unless  ?  i  was  just  gonna  link  to  all  my  stuff  but  ...  ur  girl  wrote  a  lot  and  i  don’t  wanna  be  cruel  and  force  u  all  to  read  everything  JDBWBDJBWJ  so  here we  go  !!   <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.   

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3 

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY:  suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after 

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away 

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !! 

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3 

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced. 

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

 goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

 moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management. 

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense. 

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3 

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear. 

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number 

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3 

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions. 

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting 

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it 

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company 

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately 

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time... 

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*