#it itches my brain in all the right ways
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JUST REMEMBERED THIS ONE PAGE WHERE THEY ACTUALLY DO A HEDGEHOG THING
THEY WERE BURROWING (or digging ig BUT STILL)
#im obsessed with small traits like these#it itches my brain in all the right ways#ALSO AMYS SMUG ASS FACE LMAO#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#amy rose#sonic idw
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Most of the time when I play games I’m just kinda rushing through to the story bits, but I genuinely love the battle system for remake so much. I do not get bored with it for once
I forgot how much fun Remake is to play. Regardless of any of the R Trilogy's faults in terms of story changes, the music, presentation, and battle system are all super on point. 👌👌👌
Also lol Jessie is hot.
#it itches my brain in all the right ways#idk what it is exactly#but it does it for me really well#ff7#mutuals#star rambles
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This 20-yr old cartoon is basically the plot of Arcane
I'm not exactly surprised so many people jump to classify Jinx a terrorist since she kinda fits the Western stereotype of that (although that's debatable since she doesn't have a concrete ideology or organization), but I guess I'm a bit surprised the real world commentary is flying over some people's heads in a way that gets them to justify Piltover's response as valid or write off Jinx's response as unreasonable.
In my opinion Jinx was partially intended to be a deconstruction of the terrorist stereotype by interrogating what causes someone to be like this in the first place. They deliberately gave her bomb/ explosion motifs, plus she's literally firing a missile at a tower of politicians. It's meant to evoke a certain imagery but you're not supposed to stop there. Youre supposed to ask "okay well why did it get to this point and how could this have been prevented?" and the answer to both those questions is Piltover.
Season 2 takes this further by asking what's the difference between a terrorist and a revolutionary. It's not a coincidence that Piltover (the oppressive regime) is the one framing her as a terrorist while Zaun sees her as a revolutionary symbol. In reality, she isn't either of those things (not completely) but no one sees her as Jinx-the-complex-person because of the dehumanization someone in her role gets subjected to, from both sides.
Piltover and Zaun are not the same. I really don't think you can both-sides-are-bad this conflict at all, particularly when one side possesses all the resources and power for centuries. You can debate about whether it was handled properly because yes the writers have biases and I think the depiction of fascism and revolution was rushed and clumsy, but I do appreciate the attempt at real world commentary.
#and before anyone says anything no she didnt fire that rocket for Zaun. as i said shes not a revolutionary#her reasons for doing that are complex and personal and since she never explained it herself we can only infer#maybe i'll talk abt this again some day bc the way her mind works is fascinating. i love her writing#all the female characters are complex but her writing in particular scratches the right itch in my brain#the dehumanization she went through from both piltover and zaun is so good. the only ones who see her for who she is are isha and sevika#and even THEY are pushing her to be a revolutionary figure for the greater good#i wish more of the story was devoted to the conflict between the nations but it seems the plot is moving towards the magic elements#arcane#my post#arcane season 2#arcane s2#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#arcane analysis#arcane meta#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers
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ok can I confess something to you guys: I can't stop doing that dance Whitney Leavitt did next to her poor sick baby in the hospital, it's like a stim. i've been doing it all around the house for days.
#also the way she hits the beat really itches my brain just right. I've watched that video like 500 times since it's resurfaced#that's literally all i know about MomTok is one of them did that 😭#secret lives of mormon wives
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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Its nai/millions knives btw guys im sorry
#considering...#no ones up rn right#if not good#GOOD#im going to sleep#throw tomatoes at me its okay#if you need to know he really just. killed people.#but he felt like he had good reason to and like#no i dont condone it at all but i feel like i can fix him#i told a moot and i was like 'actually if i did f/o him itd be super ooc because he doesnt really show interest in anyone even his comrades'#and moot was like 'you could be the exception' and i felt very teehee about it#anyways the itch in my brain is needing to fix him and being the exception#this itch hasnt been scratched in a long time#he wants to save the plants urgh but theres better ways to do it !! kill no more#'i can fix him!!!' i yell as im dragged to the padded room /silly#he saw how bad plants were treated by humans at such a young age it literally altered his brain chemistry#sigh#update: he has been considered and approved#🔪🌷#yvie-dreams-aloud-{🌬️}
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Save me horny fanartists...horny fanartists, save me
#please reblog with your favs#i thirst in a desert of nothingness#i keep scrolling back through 2021 discord chats#what happened?#we used to be thinking up 6 new ways to make each other swear in public every day#i know we're all older and tireder right now#but my brain is itching for rot
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im CRAAAAZZZYYYY im FUCKING INSANE!!!!!! i’m a cycle path….. HHHHHHHFDRRRRRRRHHHHHGHHHH
#me.txt#IM SO FUCKED RN#IM IN THAT HORRIBLE STAGE OF A NEW HYPERFIXATION FORMING WHERE ITS ALL I CAN THINK AND ALL I CAN TALK ABOUT AND ALL I CAN SEE#which happens to be the VERY ANNOYING STAGE in which i am VERY ANNOYING towards EVERYONE AROUND ME because i wont SHUT UP!!!!!!#talking about anything that isnt isat for more than 30 seconds without bringing it up somehow is like PULLING TEETH to me right now#and my friends are already starting to get sick of and weirded out by it#and i dont want to keep randomly bringing it yp and being annoying but I CANT NOT DO THAT!!!#IT FEELS LIKE MY SYOMACH IS FULL OF BEES WHEN I TRY!!!! MORESO THAN USUAL!!!!!!!!#and its not like i can go on a reblog spree or talk to anyone else about it#BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME!!!!#AND IM ALREADY THIS SICK IN THE HEAD!!!!! BUT I CANNOT LET MYSELF GET SPOILED!!!!!!!!#CANT keep talking about it to friends CANT go online for an outlet IM GOING TO DIE#I HAVE NO WAY TO SCRATCH THE ITCH IN MY BRAIN AT ALL AND IT KEEPS BUILDING!!!!!!!!!!#AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHRRRRAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#okay. im fine now. im normal. i can survive without bringing it up. i can do it. im brave#<- guy who is not normal and will not survive and is kinning siffrin so hard they feel sick
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[Start ID. A drawing of two scavengers from Rain World, one labelled Sanic and the other one Shrek. Sanic's fur is light brown, with darker extremities, a messy row of pale green spines down its back, and bright blue eyes. They sit contentedly, staring at the screen, with a couple grenades by its feet. Shrek has pale fur, a green head, hands, and feet, and brown eyes. It's facing to the right, with their arms splayed out and an explosive spear on their back. Beside each scavenger are a few woefully-compressed screencaps of their in-game appearance. End ID]
An ode to these silly beasts, who accompanied me on my second visits to Industrial and Chimney
#peridots-art#rain world#scavenger rain world#...usually only draw set characters of games and not. creatures. so that's new for me#absolutely love specbioing these guys though!! buggifying them scratches the right itch in my brain especially when they could reasonably#be buggy in canon!!#bugs#clarification on the ''shrek is maybe two guys'' thing ahead. first we'll argue for One Guy#1. both found in the same region at the same time 2. remarkably similar coloring and mannerisms (seemed to be the pack leader)#and now evidence supporting the two different guys theory:#1. travelled with a different pack of scavengers the second time vs when i found it 2. second time had slightly duller colors and noticably#longer horns (without the little gradient at the end)#so now you see why i didn't notice anything wrong until after reviewing the screenshots. BUT!!! secret third option!!!#the first one with the short horns was found first when i was using the entrance-to-industrial shelter#and the one i mostly relied on for reference was near the higher shelter. shrek numero dos. the canon shrek.#but i have a screenshot of shrek 1 in the place shrek 2 was found. hanging out with one of shrek 2's pack members no less.#ok now that that's ''settled''. don't let this all distract you from the fact that the simple act of SWITCHING TO THE SHADING LAYER#got me out of a four-month-long mental rut. i can't say that it was depression nor that i know anything about depression in the first place#but even if it wasn't very serious? it Sucked. even if it was just a nagging thought at the back of my mind my life was duller somehow#i started to feel a little unmotivated. lonely. anxious. like the days blend together. the things i liked weren't bringing as much joy#and all of that got worse recently. the main reason i haven't posted any art for like a month? art stopped being fun.#which is a TERRIBLE thing for someone like me who loves to draw so so much. so when everything that's been building up over the past months#just vanished completely? without warning? you better believe i teared up over a doodle of a scavenger for making me feel right again.#i'm overjoyed to be free of it. i'm hopeful again! i love myself again! i can fall in love with the world all over again!!!#i have no idea how this happened. but i have motivation and determination and i feel like i can change my life for the better now. if i try#maybe this was my normal but it's the striking opposite of what I've been feeling--i'm finally proud of my accomplishments! and of myself!!#which was something i couldn't say in earnest even before december.#and reader? i call you tag-wanderer for i have no way of knowing who you are. maybe a treasured mutual or maybe a stranger. but i love you.#and i hope you make your way out.#peridots-described
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the more i write up these summaries of the major players in constantine's life, the more tempting it is to make them a multi. the idea of an entire blog dedicated to writing people who just...fucking Hate john constantine is so funny to me.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#my attention span & school schedule could NOT take it but chas and ritchie and gary and map and zed and ellie....my beloveds#maybe a low activity iconless endeavor to pursue once i graduate#anyway sorry about my low activity lately this dossier has been SO distracting (in a good way!)#bouncing between comics to get all the juicy details is time-consuming but the organization itches my brain Just Right
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look I don't really have a thing for older dudes BUT I just saw some middle aged guy doing a metal-esque cover of a more more jump! song and I think I'm in love
#the guitar going brawawawaw itched my brain in all the right ways#I fucking love project sekai#and metal#this is my heaven#I mean it wasn't really heavy enough to be anything I'd listen to but shhhhhhh
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i am, first and foremost, a domino supremacist
#IT FEELS. SO GOOD. IN MY BRAIN.#IT FEELS SO GOOD IN MY BRAIN.#it’s better than a scratch#like it is so deeply better than just a brain itch this shit just—#it’s like that first stretch first thing in the morning when all your muscles are tight from being in the foetal position for 8 hours#and you stretch and go YEEEOOWWWWW#that’s what listening to domino feels like to me#it is like pure joy#(spoiler there’s a little bit of bias at play because the way Vernon says ‘domino’ right before the final chorus OOF)#my arms are open as are my legs and my mouth for you MY MAN.#fucking hell#sorry. I just. I needed to say this
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accidentally imagining a fan cam/thirst trap of one of your original characters because you’re listening to a song could be def one of those “insanely specific writer” moments
#caroline talks#me listening to a&w by lana del rey but the second half:#listen i do not…like Lana del rey but a&w scratches my brain the right way born to die itches my brain#anyways. imagining one of my original characters but specifically at that part#that’s just like ‘you’re fucking up big time!!!!’#bc. whole gist of this oc is that he’s kind and all but also has very very bad coping mechanisms#something something healer but being unable to heal himself#something something healer but doing the most batshit stuff in the quiet of his own room
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i don’t think i’ve ever felt this deranged in my entire life
can't get you out of my head
member | fwb!vernon x f reader genre | smut, like a little tiny bit of angst? with a happy ending word count | 2.4k synopsis | so what if calling your fuck buddy every other day is a little excessive? maybe you're just in love with him. smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, lots and lots of kissing, some dacryphilia, multiple orgasms, begging warnings | vernon is called hansol - i don't usually do that but just go with it; vernon is kind of a sweetheart tbh this ended up being pretty soft notes | june is back !! i've really been struggling to write these past few months so i'm actually super proud that i was able to sit down and write this as fast as i did. i can't promise another fic anytime soon or any kind of consistent uploads, but i hope you enjoy this meager offering! thanks for the support even while i've been gone :) also this is based on a dream i had about vernon the other day and i could not stop thinking about it it was driving me crazy, so everyone say thank you to my brain or the sandman or whoever put that idea in my dreams because this fic is a result of it. if there are mistakes pls ignore i wrote this at 2am
the thing you remember most about hansol is his lips.
the first time you kissed him was like opening a door to a world you'd never known existed. your past hookups had been terrible kissers, or even worse—hadn't even tried to kiss you at all. you were sick of the boring, underwhelming sex with men who couldn't care less if you got off or not. but some god or being in the universe must've been looking out for you, because finding hansol was nothing short of a miracle.
it was so good, you weren't even that embarrassed when you'd desperately texted him a couple of nights later, practically begging him to come over and fuck you again. he was burned into your brain, the feeling of his mouth locked with yours seared so deep in your memory you couldn't erase him if you tried, but it wasn't exactly like you wanted to.
he hadn't explicitly said you would only be a one night stand, but you usually didn't hang around the same guy for too long, and he didn't really seem like the commitment type anyway. but when you find something this good, you don't let it go, and somehow you both knew that whatever this was, it was too good to pass up on.
so it wasn't really a surprise when you found yourself on his couch, straddling his lap in the late hours of the night for the third time this week.
like you remembered, his lips were warm and soft, his cheek brushing against yours as you melted into him. you could kiss him for hours and not notice the time passing at all, so focused on the rhythm of his mouth working you up more than anything you'd done with man you'd slept with before.
the heat of his hands resting on your hips sends shivers up and down your spine, unconsciously arching towards him as his tongue pushes into your mouth.
one gentle hand travels carefully up beneath your shirt, tracing the skin of your stomach before stopping at your breast, your heartbeat racing beneath his palm.
your breath is hot on his cheek as you readjust your position, slipping your knees onto either side of his hips and sinking down to straddle his lap. your clothed cunt throbs as he presses his bulge against the inside of your thigh, and you don't hold back the open-mouthed moan that escapes you as his other hand quickly reaches up to angle your jaw and guide your lips back to his.
you push your hips down a little harder on him and his nails dig into your breast. his grip tightens a little as his hips cant up against you, desperate for more pressure against his strained cock.
your eyelids flutter as his other hand tilts your chin upwards, finally breaking away from your mouth only to reattach his lips at the base of your jaw. his tongue laves over your skin before he starts to suck, and you shiver when he pulls back and cold air hits the wet patch of spit on your neck.
you have to focus hard not to drool when you open your eyes and catch a glimpse of his face, lust-glazed eyes staring up at you through his long, thick lashes, his intense gaze fixed on you.
if you ever get past this weird in-between stage of talking but not talking, maybe you'll tell him how jealous you are of his beautiful, natural eyelashes. if you ever actually get to have a conversation with him outside of calling to hook up, maybe you'll tell him how nice his lips are. you'll tell him how soft his hands are and how he's by far the best person you've ever slept with, leaps and bounds better than all the rest, and—
before you fully realize what's happening, you feel your shirt being pulled over your head and hansol's lips have made their way down to your chest. without a sound his hands roam your body, fingers drawing invisible lines over your bare skin and leaving trails of goosebumps with every touch.
he doesn't talk much during sex, or maybe you just don't know each other well enough yet for him to have much to say. aside from the way he occasionally murmurs about how perfect you are — an oddly intimate thing to say to someone who's just a friend with benefits, but coming from him it sounds so casual — the only words you ever get out of him are curses and whimpered pleas.
the only words he ever gets out of you are shamelessly begging him, please kiss me again, please, hansol; and you're always too far gone to care about how whiny you sound, because you need his lips on you so fucking bad you think you might just die without them. but he always obliges, quickening the speed of his thrusts and wrapping his arms around you tighter so he can kiss you deeper, until your lips are numb and you can still feel the weight of him holding you even hours after he's gone.
so maybe you do have a teeny tiny crush on hansol. anyone in their right mind would, and when he's finished with you tonight you're sure you won't have much mind left to even think about it. certainly this is a problem for another day, a day when you'll inevitably call him again so he can make you lose your mind all over again and you won't have to think about how much you like him, and you'll continue like that for who knows how long.
maybe he'll get bored of you, or find someone else, or move to another city too far for you to justify travelling for a relationship that isn't even a relationship…
… but then he lets out a little groan and you fall back into reality, the reality where you've been making out with him for the past half hour and he quietly but confidently lets you know if he doesn't get his dick out soon he's definitely going to cum in his pants and not only will it make him look like a loser but he also won't get to fuck you, which is the whole reason you asked him to meet up tonight, right?
well, yeah, you guess, but a part of you knows there's more to it than that. but that's not really a conversation for right now.
you lean down to press another chaste kiss against those lips that you can't stop thinking about, and your fingers pull his t-shirt over his head before finding their way down to the button at the top of his jeans.
you've had his cock inside you more times than you think you deserve, but still your stomach bubbles with excitement as he lifts his hips and shimmies out of his pants, the outline against his briefs more than enough to make your mouth water before he slips those off, too.
for tonight, you're the recipient of his undivided attention. you alone get to have him and his perfect cock all to yourself; maybe not forever, but for right now, and that's all you really need.
he presses his hand against his bulge, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as you stand up from his lap to kick off your pants and underwear.
you must have been taking too long for his liking, though, because as soon as you're fully nude his hands tug impatiently at your waist and pull you back down onto him.
he lets out a heavy sigh, the head of his cock pressed deliciously against your clit as you start to rock your hips back and forth.
but before long his hands bring you to a stop and he lets out his usual string of pleas to let him fuck you, and now it's your turn to sigh in relief as he pushes into you, the stretch so natural like he was the only one who was made to sit you on his lap.
he doesn't move right away. he never moves right away, whether to give you a chance to adjust or maybe because he himself can't handle the feeling. either way, you always struggle to take in a shaky breath as your walls flutter around him, perfectly thick and long that you could probably cum untouched like this if you sat there for long enough.
but as badly as you want to never move and let him cockwarm you for hours, he always eventually moves.
he starts out slow, just a few inches at a time, a gentle in and out that's almost romantic until you feel like you can breathe normally again— right before he knocks the breath out of you, increasing his pace until the room is filled with the loud sounds of skin against skin.
he always fucks you like it's been months since he's came, even though you know for a fact it was last thursday and all over your stomach. all you can do now is hang onto his broad shoulders for dear life, nails scratching helplessly at his muscles as he carries you up and over the edge, pushing you into the first of many orgasms tonight.
sometimes he'll make a comment about how wet you get when he fucks you like this, rough and fast as he pounds into you like there's no tomorrow. and that's when you'll agree, yes you love it so much, yes he's so good, yes you need more and please, please keep going.
if it were anyone else they'd probably smirk at that, satisfied with the momentary boost to their ego. but that's what you love about hansol, is that he's not anyone else: he'll take those words and use them to somehow fuck you even rougher and even faster, so rough and so fast that sometimes tears will start to roll down your cheeks, and that's usually about when you start begging him to kiss you.
you can't help it. the way he bounces you so effortlessly on his cock, his lips parted and beads of sweat trickling down his neck, you need him bad. you want to be closer to him, closer than you know is physically possible but damn if you won't try anyway.
throwing your hands around his neck and falling against his chest, tears still streaming from your eyes as you plead with him, repeating his name over and over and over like you've lost your mind and he's the only thing left. in all honestly, maybe he is.
he quietly shushes you and tilts his chin up to capture your lips in the kiss you so badly crave, and it's everything you need and more and somehow still not enough but you can't think straight anymore when his cock is hitting you just right and his mouth is also just right and each vein, each curve, each ridge, drags perfectly along your walls and he's splitting you open and goddamn you are ruined for anybody else.
you feel like you're skirting in and out of consciousness when you cum again, squeezing around his cock so tight that even his powerful thrusts can't continue at their current pace.
it isn't long before he lets go too, holding you flush against his body as he fills you up, painting your insides white with a breathy moan, and in a weird way it makes you feel kind of proud.
you both sit there for a moment, panting as you start to come down.
without even standing up you already know your legs are jell-o, but you don't really have time to think about that as hansol lifts you off his lap and sets you carefully on the couch, leaving you with another kiss before he stands up and disappears down the hall, returning seconds later with a towel that looks suspiciously new.
you'd asked him about his bathroom towels last time you'd been over at his place. a mismatched collection of white and brown and aquamarine that he'd taken with him when he'd moved out of his parent's house, he said, he'd never really had a reason to buy a set of his own.
the grey cloth in his hand now that he uses to gently wipe between your legs is one you don't remember seeing.
he finishes and you want him to kiss you again, but you're too shy to ask now so he leaves you again with just a kind smile this time.
you've put most of your wrinkled clothes back on by the time he comes back. he offers to drive you home every time afterwards, but you always insisted you were fine, already feeling like you'd overstayed your welcome.
this time he doesn't offer, though, just quietly sits down next to you to pull on his own clothes until you're both fully dressed.
he speaks before the awkward silence has time to set in.
"have you been seeing anybody else?" he asks, and it's probably the longest sentence he's spoken to you outside of when he's fucking you.
it takes you a couple seconds to say no. god, you sound like a loser, but you couldn't lie to him. since the very first time with hansol the thought of seeing anyone besides him hadn't even crossed your mind. just like you thought; ruined.
it takes him a couple seconds to reply, too.
"good," he says, and you could almost swear his cheeks are pinker than usual as he admits that he hasn't been with anyone, either. "could we keep it that way?"
your breath catches a little. "yeah?"
"yeah," he answers. "whatever… this is, i like it. and i like you."
and just like that, things make sense.
"maybe, would you, y'know, wanna stay this time?" he asks, and you can't hide the grin on your face as you lean over and kiss him again, your answer evident in the way your hand falls against his warm chest and your fingers weave gently through his hair.
everything is so simple with hansol.
i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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#j recs.#vernon rec.#j’s favs.#lying in the dark with a hot water bottle over my sore belly feeling like absolute CHEEKS and I think smhow this has healed all my ailments#like i am a new woman right now#i might’ve just died & been reborn idk yet. will feed back.#THIS WAS SOOOOOO GOOD??????#stream of consciousness inbound im Very Sorry i just. have to yell about this oh god#I feel like. the kissing part. is so easy to skim over. I’m the worst for it I hate writing kissing scenes they’re so hard BUT I WOULD READ#5K OF THEM JUST MAKING OUT AND I WOULD NEVER WANT FOR ANYTHING FROM THIS WORLD AGAIN IM SO SERIOUS#the way reader is down So bad for just smooching him UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH ME WHEN#you write so so so so beautifully. like this wasn’t just insanely hot (it was that) (it was so very that) but it Felt Like a Brain Treat#sometimes I read things and peoples prose & their structuring scratches the itch so mf WELL and that’s this. this is that#I don’t have good words to use. I rly could not do this justice in a million years no matter how hard I tried.#but hi @ everyone you have GOTTA read this#oh I’m gna be thinking about him for weeks. it’s that serious.#thank u so much for this. it is lovely gorgeous beautiful wonderful mwah mwah mwah. I love it so much#1000000000000/10 <3
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The most difficult thing for me right now is trying to find songs from Abiteth's perspective toward any of her boys... mostly because I want them to also be songs that I'll enjoy listening to, and I'm extremely picky about my music 🥲🥲
It's just so annoying LMAO I'M NOT LOOKING FOR HELP BTW I just wanted to ramble about it for a second HAHAHA to see if rambling about it helps me figure out what I'm actually LOOKING for....
#also is it just me or is it hard to find love songs from women to men#it'S PROBABLY JUST ME#air's antics#I prefer powerful voices....#or very unique voices#Like breathy/jazzy/bluesy I think?#I mean this is femme voices specifically LOL#masc voices I like it when there's more grit/growl in the tones or when they can hit those high notes#I love accents in voices either way!!!#Which is what attracts me to bands like Chase Atlantic#Or like rappers in general like T-Pain there's just a unique lilt to his voice I can't quite explain?#I LOVE Ramsey's voice she has these warbles and that breathiness that itches my brain just right#and for a powerful voice Morgan Clae is just AUGUGGUH#Heidi Montag's voice I like because it's pretty 'unique' and again#there's the hint of an accent there and my brain is like 'MORE OF THAT PLEASE!!!'#anyway most of the women to men songs are all about break ups where there's more emotion and power in the voices#but also I despite music like that ABCDE-F You song#just eugehggeug it's so generic???? TO ME#okay LMAO I'LL STOP RAMBLING IN MY TAGS NOW I'M SORRY
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I’ve been teaching my sister how to play Genshin for some of the past hours today and I hope she quits bc now I feel really guilty about it I don’t want her to waste all her time on it and Im thinking abt why she even wanted to start the game and now I feel even more horrible bc of some reasons that I kinda feel guilty explaining
#dora daily#idk how to tell her maybe she should focus on other things and games#I don’t know I’m overthinking bc everything rn is such a mess and my heart hurt so bad earlier and I felt like throwing up and stuff idk#what to do#everything is somehow going worse and worse it feels like it’s snowballing out of control but it’s because why is everyone so mean to me#like all I have ever wanted is just to be seen but I’m always invisible to everyone and people OFTEN tell me they forget abt me so many#times that it’s more often they forget me than remember#why am I so forgettable and why do I get replaced like idk what’s wrong with me#what’s so horrible abt my personality I don’t understand like is it the way I think ? I think it’s the way I think#but I can’t change how my brain is wired or how it functions I just don’t know how to fix it#I swear I’ve tried everything for years and years I’ve spent since my very early years trying to find out what’s wrong with me and why#it’s so hard for ppl to like me I’ve tried to change everything it doesn’t work and only six months ago I found out why people don’t like me#just by trial and error#it’s my brain and the way I think it’s just all wrong idk how I’m meant to think but it’s not meant to be like this#my personality is all wrong my likes are all wrong my thinking and everything is all wrong and I’m stuck like this unless I somehow do#some surgery on my brain to fix how I think I’ll be like this forever#I wish I could just fold myself up into a little version of myself and just put it away to take up the least amount of space in this world#I’ll never belong in this world and I don’t want to be here anymore#shoot I can barely even see the text on my keyboard bc I just can’t stop crying#I always said my parents should’ve never gotten married they were never a match my mum should’ve gotten an abortion when she found out like#she never even liked my dad anyways#fuck how do I stop crying my mum is gonna be here soon and she’s gonna start laughing at me like she usually does when I tear up I’m#straight up bawling LOL imagine she sees that I’ll be made a mockery more than I already am this is so humiliating and pathetic. why do I#care sm now I’ve never wanted to be alive but now I’m so sad because I really don’t want to be here anymore but I don’t know what to do#my head hurts now maybe I should go to sleep maybe it’ll help me forget about this at least for a while longer#I’m just so sad I have to manually ask ppl to care about me I’m so tired I have to do this with everyone#I’m not even angry anymore I’m just so sad I’m sad that others get that care like it’s second nature but with me I have to ask and beg forit#oh ik if my mum sees I’ll just tell her I’ve been itching my eyes if she asks why they’re red LOL#It’s okay if nobodyll ever like me like I like them right ? I don’t have to get liked back as long as I give love to others right ? then I#won’t be useless like my mum says I am at least I can have a tiny bit of use even though my love means absolutely nothing I bet it’s okay iv
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