#it isn't really anyone's fault -- the first professor i asked is going to be on leave next semester

[astriiformes]

Finally managed to talk to another professor about serving as my faculty mentor for an undergraduate research project, which means that now I have less than a week for formulate my actual proposal if I want to get it funded for the fall

Cue just a little bit of internal screaming

[merakiui]

for the fwb asks, "you're enjoying this way too much." with trey please? I am. frothing at the mouth <33

<3 forgive me for being indulgent with this. I wanted to include food play as well,,, orz please enjoy the tasty treat that is Trey's dick. >:D

(fwb dialogues)

In hindsight it was dangerous to do this in the Heartslabyul kitchen where anyone could walk in at any moment. But it's late into the night, and Trey had been kind enough to sneak you in on account of owing you a favor. That's all your relationship really is, truly. Just transactions. Mutual give and take. You help him relieve some stress (because Queen knows managing Riddle is an undertaking in itself) and in return he offers to pay you in sweets (and bodily pleasures, but the former is far more tempting).

You'd been expecting one of his renowned strawberry tarts or a slice of cake, so you're stunned when his lips lift into that trademark scheming smirk. He holds up a can of whipped cream next. Having known Trey long enough to decipher his tastes, it doesn't take a genius to figure this one out.

"You're crazy," you breathe, eyes wide.

"Just risky," he corrects, pushing his glasses up, because everyone's mad here. Moonlight catches on the lenses, shimmering back at you in a foreboding glint.

"We can't do that in here. What if someone walks in?"

Trey procures his magic pen from his pocket, pressing it to his lips. "I won't tell if you won't."

Right. Doodle Suit. Convenient.

"All right then. Get on with it," you concede after a short internal debate. The rewards outweigh the risk in this case. Something tells you Trey would bail you out even if you get caught. Partially because he'd be just at fault.

Trey grins. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"Absolutely. Did you even have to ask?"

Snatching the can from his hands, you squirt some on your finger for a taste while he works to fish himself from his pants. He works himself slowly in one hand, peering down at you after you've lowered to your knees. This isn't the first time you and Trey have fooled around with food and it certainly won't be the last.

You make quick work decorating his erection, unable to tamp down the delighted giggle when it twitches in response to the cool cream.

"Eager," you comment, finishing off with a dollop to his tip. You set the can on the tiled floor and admire your handiwork with an approving nod. "Do we have any cherries? Ooh, what about sprinkles?"

Amusement flickers on his face. "I've been meaning to pick some up. We used the rest of them last time."

"Aw. This'll have to do for now then." You press your lips to the head of his cock, swirl your tongue over it, and draw away with a mouthful of whipped cream. "It's still just as good."

Trey inhales sharply, grabbing at the counter behind him to brace himself. "Mm, yeah," he mumbles, clearing his throat. "T-That'll do..."

Scooting closer on the ground, you place your hands on his thighs and lean in again to lick a languid stripe up the underside of his shaft, gathering cream as you go. The motions come easily; you've had his cock in your mouth more times than you've truly studied for any of Professor Crewel's alchemy exams, a bad habit Trey's working to correct. To think you could retain information better when he's blowing your back out... Isn't that something?

Breathing through his nose, he tamps down the slew of sinful groans and instead grips the counter with more force. He's purposely holding back, whether for the sake of keeping quiet or because it's the build-up that entices him. You're not sure which it is, but you're determined to break him tonight.

Licking your lips clean, you look up at him through your lashes to assess the lustful haze glazing his eyes. Whipped cream spots your cheek; you pay it no mind and lean in and wrap your lips around him once more. It's sweet. There's definitely an innuendo to be found there, and Trey seems to notice it right away. He throbs in your mouth, painfully hard.

"You're enjoying this way too much," you say around the mouthful.

Trey chuckles, feigning sheepishness. "It's that obvious, huh?"

You pull away to speak more clearly. "It's cute."

"Not the adjective I'd use, but if it fits..." He laughs, shaking his head. Your word choices always enthrall him. Once you called him a midnight snack, a callback to previous times spent wrapped around one another. He doesn't mind it. Not particularly.

His fingers card through your hair to hold you firmly in place. "Sorry in advance."

"You don't mean that," you tease, and both of you know it's true. He likes seeing you choke on his cock. It's exhilarating.

You don't mind it. Not particularly.

[laythestar]

We're just having a good time darling

Author's note: Hii! English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.

Words: 423.

You were shaking with rage.

  It was all Sirius Black fault, I mean, he thought it was a great idea to prank the slytherins and somehow you were tossed in this mess. And because of that Professor McGonagall gave you and him detention for three weeks.

  The worst of all was the fact that Potter didn’t even get detention, somehow making the Professor think that he didn’t have any involvement with the said prank. Making you want to choke him with your own hands, because it was obviously a lie, but in the end Professor McGonagall believed him.

   So now you were cleaning the cauldrons from the potions class with the insufferable Sirius Orion Black.

“Come on, it’s not that bad. I don’t even know why you’re so mad.” Sirius said smiling,

 You rolled your eyes and continued to clean the cauldron, ignoring him.

“Are you really going to ignore me, darlin’?”

“Don’t call me darling.” You answered dryly.

“She talks!” He exclaimed, laughing.

  You ignored him, it made you think why so many girls were so in love with a guy so annoying like Sirius. I mean, he was always pranking everyone along with his friends and getting a lot of detentions. 

“So darlin’, what are you gonna do on the weekend?” Sirius asked, looking at you with interest at the same time he was cleaning one of the cauldrons.

“It’s none of your business.” You answered looking at him.

  Normally you didn’t respond to people with rudeness, but he was the reason you were in the detention. You; who never pulled pranks on anyone, who preferred to be with your group of friends over to cause mischief. 

“Come on, don’t be like that, look, I’m sorry okay?” He said coming closer to you. “I didn’t mean to involve you in my prank, and if I could make you not have to be in detention I would.”

 He sound so sincere, making you sigh and nod your head at him.

“I accept your apologies. But please, don’t involve me in this the next time you pull a prank.” You said and Sirius smiled.

“Well, what do you think about me taking you to hogsmeade on the weekend?” He asked taking your hand in his.

“I don’t know…”

“Think of this as a form to apologize to you.” He insisted. “Pretty please?”

  You chuckle at his antics. “Alright, I will go with you.”

“Yes! You would love!” He exclaimed.

  Something in you told that you wouldn’t regret going out with Sirius Orion Black.

[sakkubuuns]

ch.2 of cloudnine lol

it's been a week now and no one has texted me about kuroo. i'm honestly glad i haven't received another "hey girly.." text. makes my gut drop every time just thinking about how i can get a dm anytime, but since i haven't yet, i'll just enjoy the time being. 

"classes start tomorrow. you have everything babe?" kuroo came from behind me placing his hands on my shoulders rubbing them softly as i sat at my desk putting last minute items in your bag. "yep," i said popping the 'p'. "you don't have to stay the night if you don't want to. you have to drive to your classes tomorrow too y'know?" i said hanging my tote bag on it's hook. "i know but i wanna see my girlfriend off to her classes, that isn't much to ask for is it?" i tilted my head up to look at him,

i smiled feeling my heart swell of relief, all i could do was shake my head. "let's go to bed then" he nodded as we went to go do our nightly routine.

-

the next morning kuroo dropped me off and said he would pick me up after my lectures. it was fine by me, meant that i didn't have to walk home or take the bus. as i made my way to class i pulled my wax pen out. i took a couple hits before putting it back into it's designated pocket of my tote bag.

i walked into the class trying to catch my breath a little, the stairs was really kicking my ass, i don't know how i'm gonna do that every day. i already knew that i was going to sit far from others. it was quite nerve racking being at a new university, i didn't know anyone. i took a seat by the window taking in the view of the quad and main library. i looked down at all the people, one group in particular stood out to me. it was a group of guys, looked like they were having a sesh.

in the quad? mood

hopefully i get to meet some cool people who are down to blow down. the professor walked in and began introducing herself, as she was talking i began to notice how i was involuntarily blocking her voice out.

shit i'm high

i know i know, not the wisest choice being high my first lecture, but so what? i get my work done either way and i don't bother anyone by doing the things i do. plus i know when to be as sober as i can.

i finally came to and began following the notes the professor was already giving. i didn't mind though, notes were fun. i always added color and made them look so pretty.

-

i got a text from kuroo as the professor was wrapping up. he wanted to meet at the campus cafe and grab a snack before heading to my house. i was fine with whatever so i agreed. i had one more lecture in the evening, thank god it's online.

"alright please join the class session online! i will be posting reminders there and as well as assignments. i will be group emailing the link, peace!" she walked out not even waiting for anyone to reply. she's pretty cool, and seems young. i loved her already.

i put my airpods in wanting to enjoy the rest of my high. as i was looking down at my phone scrolling through my playlist, i bumped into someone. "oof-" "shit sorry my bad lil homie- oh my fault. i wasn't looking" i looked up at the person.

holy shit he was smoking hot

i guess i was staring awhile because when i finally snapped out of it, the guy and his whole group were looking at me funny. my eyes went wide as i took in their appearance and the smell. "oh my god! you're the guys i saw earlier from my window seat!" i pointed and shouted a bit loud which took them aback. "i saw you guys having a sesh down here from my lecture on the third floor" i point to the building facing us and the rest turned their heads behind them. a collective "ohh" going around.

"so you smoke?" one of the guys stepped up, he had blonde hair and a dark undercut. you have a boyfriend.. i caught myself before letting my mind slip again. "for sure i do" i opened my bag slightly taking my pen out, "you could take a hit if you want" i shrugged, they looked at me in shock. "um.." i awkwardly stood there holding my pen out for them, "sorry it's just that people around here are pretty stingy with their shit so it's shocking to see someone offer a hit so easily" another guy spoke, he was african american. he was taller than the rest, which made me realize how tall these guys actually were, around the same height as kuroo.

i waved them off, "nah it's cool. i like this aura you guys bring off, and the lingering smell of za" i laughed as i felt the pen being snatched from my hands,

jeez be respectful at least

one with cool dark ash hair that looked very similar to the blond, took a hit then passed it to the blondie. i assumed the two were twins. the dark haired twin blew the fumes out and was starting to taste the flavors on his tongue. "that cart is definitely not from out here, or any of the plugs i buy from" he pointed at the sleek device. his twin agreeing not long after.

"dude you need to try this" the tallest turned around and passed the pen to another person. i was so distracted that i didn't even know there was another person, though i do remember seeing four people when i was looking out the window. "out of state?" the last person popped out.

i felt guilty thinking that these guys in front of me were hot. but at least kuroo wasn't getting texts from random people saying i was cheating on him with them. the three guys were attractive i can't lie about that, but this guy.. he was insanely good looking. his eyes hung low obviously making him look a little hotter. he stood up tall but his head naturally tilted downwards. he had on a loose plain hoodie that had a little threading detail on the left side of his chest, a couple of chains dangled his neck, one falling under the hoodie and the rest being out. his jeans were loose but fit him nicely, they bunched over a pair of nike blazer mids. and lastly, his hair looked soft as fuck.

and once again i was staring too long, "oh, um yeah" i nodded. dang he knew by just the taste of it? "yeah i've never seen these before. we sell dispos around here" he said lowly handing me my pen back. i was so entranced by his presence that i didn't notice kuroo was calling me. i took the pen and excused myself, even though we just met, hopefully they would wait. they seemed like potential friends.

"hey babe, i just got done. i'm on my way to come get you" he didn't sound like he was on the road? whatever, "you could have just texted me that you know?" i giggled at his weird ways. "yeah i know but just felt like calling you" " okay, well drive safe" "bye baby" i put my phone back in my pocket and turned around, "sorry my boyfriends on his way," their faces seemed to change when i mentioned a boyfriend. "you guys seem cool, what's your socials?" i grabbed my phone again clicking on snap and handing it to one of the guys.

"um kuroo best captain middle blocker said he just got here and he'll meet you at the campus cafe" the blond snickered as the tallest awkwardly handed my phone back. i snatched my phone back, assuming i had at least one of their snaps. "oh my god, he's so fucking stupid. don't mind that" i tried to laugh it off as i got a notification. "suna.. rintarou.." i read as i looked up trying to guess which one it could be.

"text me whenever you're down to have a sesh" the quiet one spoke. his voice was a little louder, maybe sobering up. i nodded my head taking my leave, trying to find the cafe.

-

@ sakubuns

[library-of-babylon]

House of Night: Chosen - Review

★★★☆☆ Bullshit galore

Craft ★☆☆☆☆ Characters ★☆☆☆☆ Plot ★★☆☆☆ World-building ★★☆☆☆ Utter nonsense ★★★★☆

Triggers?

Homophobia

Victim blaming

Homeless abuse

Religious abuse

Racism

Sexism

Ableism

Implied sexual assault

Grooming

Sexual manipulation

Self harm

Misogyny

Race war(?) I don't like how I'm just collecting triggers

✨Spoilers✨

Birthmas

Do you like contrived conflict? No? Too bad because that's how this book starts. Zoey's birthday is December 24th and literally everyone except Heath and Grandma Redbird decided this meant everything they got her needed to be Christmas-themed. The only person who gets a pass from this is Jack who's known her for two weeks, likes snow globes, and trusted everyone else on the shit decision. These people have known her for about 3 months at this point and not a single one of them thought to ask her about what she'd like for her birthday or how she would feel about birthday presents that are Christmas-themed. This is a very basic thing to do and should go without saying.

And then there's Zoey, Erik, and Heath. As the book points out Heath has known Zoey for literal years and yet knowing this Erik gets pissed at her over him getting her a gift he knew she would like with a card that says he knows how much she hates Christmas-themed birthday presents.

Chapter 18

Why does a chapter finally deserve its own tangent? Because it is the worst. Problems with Heath aside about halfway through some men start sexually harassing Zoey, while with Heath, and these guys are offensively stereotypical black men. The books have always had a problem with racism including using food to describe skin and referring to hair as "nappy" all the damn time, but hoo boy the first black men we see and they are sexually aggressive, have baggy pants, are harassing people, and as if that start wasn't bad enough it somehow gets worse.

Zoey throws them into oncoming traffic, they get hit by a truck, and she doesn't even care. It takes a moment for her to really process what's happened and by then say they might not be dead besides there's a hospital nearby and they were trying to hurt Heath. To all this tells her what she did was mean she shouldn't be mean, Nyx isn't mean. I haven't told a lot of people this but I was in a car accident last month two days before Christmas. We were T boned and sent rolling, I got a concussion and my arm got pinned under the seat belt, my friend who was the driver got several broken ribs. Again we were inside a car that took most of the impact and thankfully were in a residential area so there wasn't as much force as the main road these men were thrown into. They were hit by a truck going at least 40 miles an hour and had nothing to protect them. That's not mean, that's malice and grievous bodily harm to men who catcalled her.

Professor Bad Touch (Loren Blake)

Please god, make it stop. He calls her a woman, compares their relationship to the implied pedophilic relationship the vampire Shakespeare had with a fledgling, gives her diamond earrings, kisses her, manipulates her into feeling bad for him, tells her not to tell anyone about "them", kisses down her shoulder and invites her back to his room to have sex.

This girl looks for a reason to get out of having sex with her teacher that isn't "moronic and juvenile". She turned 17 at the start of this book and he is not only her teacher but in his mid-twenties. This is deeply unsettling to listen to and all I can think is "You are a child" and "Did this really need to be included". The extremely predatory nature of this "relationship" is not being handled at all responsibly by the very fact that Nyx is seemingly cosigning this.

Because we are with Zoey 24/7 there isn't much room for her, the girl actively being groomed, to talk against what is happening being normalized to her by a man with power over her however at no point does Nyx step in, and give her a warning in any kind of way. Nyx is just as much at fault for this happening in the narrative as Blake, by the constant special treatment Zoey gets it is obvious she cares deeply for this girl who is her "eyes and ears" but does nothing while she is in active danger from this man. Nyx in these books is a trusted adult watching her get abused and doing nothing about it. The only thing Nyx does do around him is tell her to shut up and not spill secrets to the man which yeah I wouldn't tell him shit either but come the fuck on.

I hate that he's the one who takes care of her after she finds her teacher dead and mutilated in front of the school. I don't like how the book is trying to make me like him I know what he is and it just gives everything he says or does no matter how kind an insidious nature.

This man is a predator. He takes her virginity and imprints with her while she's an emotional mess, possibly in shock, having thought that she was about to witness her boyfriend die just one month after seeing her best friend die, forcing her to relive it. Even if she wasn't all the other problems this is so fucked up. Yeet this man into the sun he is scum in every way shape and form.

"you're not like other fledglings. And I feel some rules are meant to be broken" 🤮

The only good thing about professor bad touch is that he fucking dies at the end of the book after being revealed to have groomed and abused Zoey on Neferet's order.

Linda Heffer (Zoey's mom)

Zoey's mom is in an abusive relationship and is doomed by the native. Linda is manipulated by her abusive husband into giving her daughter a birthday present that they both know she would not only not like but would find offensive. The gift in question is adding Zoey and her siblings to the family bible. Under normal consonances this would be extremely heartwarming, adding stepchildren to a cherished family heirloom and tree cementing an unwavering acceptance into the family. Instead, it's a knowing insult to her religion and further religious abuse and manipulation from her stepfather.

Beyond that, there is also a very good chance that Linda and Zoey's siblings have been forced by John Heffer to not be in contact with her. Despite realizing how she's being manipulated by her husband, both Zoey and her own mother (Grandma Redbird) instead comment on how she's a weak woman who wants a man to think for her. It's all honestly quite sad.

Stevie Rae

Since dying and becoming Nosferatu Stevie Rae has gone through an almost complete personality change while also falling into a completely different class of more classical vampires. These Nosferatu vampires as I'm calling them in these reviews need to be invited in, think and act like most would assume the soulless would, burn in sunlight, and need to feed on human blood more often than regular fully fledged vampires. Despite these however, there does still appear to be some humanity in Stevie Rae as she is willing to go along with Zoey's plan to hide her in Aphrodite's parents' mother-in-law suite, part of which involves her giving up feeding on the homeless and other vulnerable civilians instead feeding on blood bags stolen from the school.

Aphrodite

It's absolutely wild hearing Zoey call Aphrodite a hoe while juggling two guys + her teacher.

Keeping with the last book's decision to give her more things to do than just hang around being spiteful in this Aphrodite is given an affinity for earth and sent by Nyx to replace Stevie Rae in the dark daughters and sons magic circle. She also gets a good amount of character development with a clear pattern of her opening up and being vulnerable while alone with Zoey, as well as agreeing to not be as antagonistic while being a part of the circle.

"As Mother says dependable illegals are really hard to find" Sometimes I really wish the books would quiet while they're ahead.

Erik Night

Yo, fuck this guy. He finds his girlfriend being groomed and sexually abused by their teacher and thinks she's the problem, calling her a slut. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Erik was a bland if likable guy in the past two books but his behavior in this one just makes me want to throw out the baby and the bathwater. On the one hand, he's upset about very reasonable things but he takes it out on Zoey in the most unreasonable ways. I really can not overstate how bad Erik is as a person, man found his girlfriend being abused and went scorched earth telling all of their friends the moment he had an opportunity and being such a spiteful vindictive bastard that not only was that not enough he then tried to turn everyone against her. Yeet him into the sun with Blake's corpse fuck the both of them.

Heath Luck

Guess who still doesn't understand boundaries? Heath who has gone from light stalking to full-blown obsession. At this point his only goal is Zoey and if they were normal people I'd be legit worried that he would kidnap her. Props to the book for realizing how unhealthy this is however any good boy point that would be given for this are immediately taken away by him deciding to cut himself when she tries to leave him so she'd be drawn to his blood.

I don't like Zoey but can the books please please please give her one love interest with a minor character flaw instead of being the scum of the earth? Like can she get with a guy whose problem is his car is a mess or who never vacuums his carpet?

Neferet

The duality of Neferet is an interesting one. After the girls find their teacher dead and mutilated she makes a genuine effort to be strong and supportive, the rock they and everyone needs at that moment however at the same time she is the unseen evil behind every door.

I just wish it'd been better done. The book ends with the implication that she killed her pedo boyfriend (for the wrong reason) and a personal friend of hers to start what is essentially a race war with humans. It's obvious that she has some greater plan here other than ruining Zoey's life but right now the pieces aren't adding up to shit and given the general state of things I worry whatever it is isn't going to be satisfying.

Jack Twist

I kinda feel bad for Jack, it's said in the book that Erik is like a big brother to him, and in this one, he completes the change to full vampire leaving Jack who has only been at the school for about a month alone. They were roommates and friends but he already lost him.

I just want to give Jack a hug, he's an absolute sweetheart and I swear to any god that will listen if that ever changes I will riot.

Craft

Said said said would it kill the Casts to pick a new word? Try muttered or chided or hell bit.

Maybe "exotic" isn't the best term to use as a compliment to someone period, let alone right after bringing up native Americans.

Would I recommend this book?

I mean kinda because it's full of utter bullshit like Zoey killing two guys then just forgetting that shit but at the same time this book just kinda meanders about not really knowing what to do, creating artificial conflicts and horrifying implications it has no intention of handling properly, and spending entirely too much time with Blake for even me to be comfortable with.

Mind the warnings with this one. Unlike that last book where you could ignore all implications lurking about in favor of things like fake domestic terrorism and the genuinely heartwarming sleepover after Stevie Rae's death in this one it can't bother to be bonkers enough to give much plot besides the horrors.

[opossumjournal]

Mullet Love

This is far from polished, but wanted to share this little scene I had an Idea for between Marlene and Peter

Peter's mom cuts his hair, and usually, by the time she gets to the back, she's feeling weak and can't move her arms as high. Peter told her she could cut the back later if she wanted, but it wasn't during the summer; from her letters, she only perked up in October. She told Peter not to worry; it wasn't his fault, but Peter decided he would cut his hair from now on. He does his best, but not being able to see the back, well, he gives himself an unintentional ducktail.

Marlene eventually grabs him one day after class and asks if he really wants a mullet because it's a lifestyle, not just a haircut. Peter isn't sure what she's talking about. He didn't think the back was that long. But he can't really see it, so he agrees. Marlene sighed, rubbing her eyes. Peter guessed that just like all the professors, Marlene was aware he was slow and lying to save face. Marlene pushed him onto a chair and told Peter to sit. He does; he is really only sure what's going on once she starts cutting his hair. She gives him a cute ducktail, not the scraggly look he had going on before. They complete the haircut in complete silence.

The following month, Marlene makes the scissors-snipping gesture at Peter, and he subtly nods while they take their seats for transfiguration.

Peter meets Marlene at their spot, and the first part is silent again. Peter can't help but burst out part way though, the questions about Marlene's intentions bubbling up his throat.

P: You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

M: I told you that having a mullet is a lifestyle, and you weren't keeping up with it.

P: I'm sorry.

M: *sighs* Don't be. I’m sorry for being so harsh. Sometimes I forget you aren't like them.

P: What do you mean?

M: You aren't a tosser like the rest of them. James thinks the sun shines out his arse. Sirius is the prancing prince of all tossers. And Remus thinks he's too good to talk to anyone except you lot.

P: And me?

M: Well you're you, aren't you?

Peter doesn't figure out what she means by that, doesn't want to ask to find out in case he was supposed to understand, and starts trying to trim his own hair, keeping it about the length Marlene had it. It gets choppy, but he doesn't want Marlene to think he isn't trying, and he doesn't want to have someone cut his hair for him. He doesn't know what Marlene meant with that last conversation and isn't sure he wants to spend more time with her.

Marlene finger snips at him a couple of weeks later, and Peter is too nervous to refuse. He isn't sure Marlene would do anything if he said no, but he doesn't know if he wants to find out. What he gets at home is plenty, thank you.

Marlene brings an extra pair of scissors and is transfiguring a couple of mirrors when Peter arrives, late due to anxiety.

Marlene teaches Peter how to cut his hair using reflections from the mirrors behind and in front of him. P extremely nervously asks if Marlene will show him the mirror spell. He doesn't ask the marauders for help because Marlene is right. They are jerks at times, especially when he's practising magic they are already comfortable with. Marlene, however, is rough but patient when she teaches him, going over it again and again until Peter's mirrors don't look like they belong in a fun house.

After that, Peter still goes to their spot to cut his hair. Marlene joins him one day.

M: I can see why you like it here.

P: What?

M: Its more roomy then the dorm bathroom, no one interrupting or rushing you, its nice here. Peaceful.

P: Yeah it is. 

This is the first time he realised it. He had been going because he didn't want the boys to see his shoddy transfiguration. It's hard when you're a c/d student, and you're rooming with literally 3 of the 10 smartest people in your year. But he realizes now that he also liked that time alone, other than his new friend.

[sugawarassoulmate]

im foing thru a bully!osamu brain rot so imagine samu pissing reader off somehow (like collaterally: i imagine him fucking up and KNOWING he fucked up) n is trying to do some damage control by being the sweetest he's ever been I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM GROVEL

i Imagine him to be piss scared at the prospect of u ever breaking up w him over smth he did jendkd

i am incapable of not writing a happy ending for these two idiots

words: 805 cw: fem!reader, post-love confession bully!osamu, jealousy, arguing, insecurity, implied breakup, sfw but minors dni always

honestly, bully!osamu's biggest problem is his jealousy and it's something he still struggles with even after you become official. at first, you kind of deal with it, but as his girlfriend now, you wish he'd trust you enough and get over it.

"i'm tired of having the same argument with you, again and again, samu," you finally said after so much back and forth.

he really did it this time.

you and a classmate were working on a project together worth a big part of your final mark, which obviously meant spending a lot of time together. of course, osamu had a problem with it since it was a guy.

you tried to be understanding—you texted samu every time you were with him and you always did work in the library so you two would never be totally alone. but that wasn't enough for osamu. he still found a way to get upset and grill your partner to the point where he was considering talking to your professor about working with someone else.

when he apologized for it, you, you'll admit you blew up on him a bit.

"it's not just about the stupid project, samu. but thanks soooo much for making that situation harder than it needed to be," you snap, taking him by surprise since you've never raised your voice at him.

"but what's gonna happen in the future? do you just not trust me? i'm sick of feeling guilty about something that it's my fault." after stopping for a moment and catching your breath before sighing. "sometimes i think you're never going to change..."

and osamu doesn't like that. the way the tone of your voice changed just then. panic immediately sets in when you leave the room without looking back at him.

he goes into damage control, but he isn't sure what to do. osamu's never been one to apologize before and if he did, it wasn't in words. he's pretty sure cooking a meal or fucking you won't get him out of this one.

he asks no begs for your forgiveness. it's so stupid, of course, he trusts you. sometimes osamu gets in his own head and doesn't want anyone to have you, but that's immature of him.

osamu gives you some space before he apologizes—holding onto your waist as he tells you how right you are and how he's going to make things right. first, he goes to your project partner and apologizes to him as well (it stings to do so, but osamu knows it's right)

your partner accepts and agrees to continue working with you so neither of your grades is jeopardized. but osamu knows it's not enough.

it starts with breakfast in the morning because hey, he's gifted with amazing cooking skills and he's gonna use them. osamu makes your favorite and serves it to you in bed.

the stern smile on your face tells him that you appreciate the gesture but you're still upset, which he expected.

for the record, miya osamu does not grovel, but he'd be lying if he said your words didn't scare him a little bit. sucking up his pride, osamu kneels next to the bed and takes one of your hands.

"i do trust you, baby," he breathes, choosing his words carefully so as to not upset you.

you pick at the food sitting on the tray. "it doesn't feel like you do sometimes. and it's not just my project partner, but it's our friends. i can see you getting uncomfortable when suna's around and — fuck, samu sometimes i swear you think i'm gonna run off with your brother or something."

ok, that hurt, but he deserves it.

he takes another deep breath. "i will work on it. yer my girlfriend and i trust ya," he says with a steady voice. "and next time i'm bothered by somethin', i'll talk to ya instead of lashin' out."

that perks you up a bit. "and?"

"and...i'll be better about you hangin' out with tsumu and suna. they're yer friends too and i shouldn't be so possessive."

finally, finally you give him a smile, leaning over for a quick kiss. "samu, was that so hard?" you said, running your fingers through his hair. "that's all i want to hear."

for the first time, osamu can breathe easy. the sweetness in your voice is back and you're actually eating his food — a sight he'll never get tired of. "shit, baby, ya had me scared for a second,”

your eyes harden for just a moment. “don’t get too comfortable, samu. changed behavior means more than just an apology.”

and just like that your smile is back, the revolving door of emotion gives osamu whiplash that he’s never experienced before, but he’s more than willing to work on himself if it means you’ll stay.

©sugawarassoulmate 2022 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!

[bluemoondust]

I saw your Professor Birch post and was wondering if you could do either Headcanons about Professor Elm or even a small snippet.

He researches Pokemon Breeding so I’m curious if that would eventually rub off onto him, especially if he was pining really badly after his darling. Professor Elm with a breeding kink perhaps?

ANON I HAVE HAD THIS THOUGHT EVER SINCE I FOUND OUT WHAT EVERY PROFESSOR RESEARCHED lsjsjwjn

Post Writing Message: I deeply apologize for what I will bestow upon you all. （⌒▽⌒）

Warning(s): 18+ CONTENT, MINORS DNI, Breeding Kink, F!Reader (no pronouns mentioned), Unhealthy Lifestyle (On Elm's part, Lack of Eating and Sleeping), Hints of Jealousy, Obsessive Behavior/Thinking

Another sleepless night.

Normally the usual cause of such would be overworking, but Elm couldn't use that excuse in this case. He rubbed his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose, letting out a heavy sigh. Clearly he was exhausted. A friend of his had taken notice that he was rarely leaving the lab and the noticeable dark circles under his eyes. Had he even eaten at all? It was a question directed at Elm, who unfortunately is terrible at lying under pressure.

He needed to get himself together... Or else you'll notice too. Now, Elm isn't one to pin blame on others, and it's technically half true and somewhat his fault as well... but he can say that you're the reason why he isn't doing so hot. You're not a bad person by any means, absolutely not. Elm finds you the most pleasant person he's ever had the pleasure of conversing with.

Which is the reason why he can't get you out of his head.

Almost every second of the day Elm's thoughts are flooded with you. Everything from wondering what you do in the morning to how your sleep schedule is compared to his. It's all about you. It's gotten so bad that he finds himself writing in spare notebooks little details he discovers about you just so he can dump all his thoughts; empty his mind. It's all for naught when these thoughts soon become... Self indulgent fantasies.

Harmless, is what he claims when they first start. They won't wander into unspeakable barriers, he insisted. It will only stay as wishful thinking and wondering what it'd be like to hold your hand, eat dinner with you, cuddle—but by Arceus he is so close to pulling his hair.

He hadn't thought this way about anyone in a while. He feels guilty since you're highly unaware of how much he'd like to sit you up on his desk everytime you visit the lab. Elm is so quiet about the inner storm stirring within him. No one ever expects this type of behavior nor thinking from him since he was not one to stand out.

How would you react? Arceus, he couldn't let you know what filthy thoughts resided is his mind that revolved around you. Certainly... You'd be uncomfortable and he would lose his chance. Elm believes this would be the worst case scenario, knowing you'll find someone else. Someone else. The mere thought of that peeves him off a bit, but also breaks his heart. He has been doing his best, right? So why should one slip up change anything? Why can't he just suck it up already and finally let you know?

Then maybe... Those fantasies can become a reality. Elm swallows a bit, embarrassed but aroused at the idea of you under him. Squirming, whimpering out his name as he f.ucks you gently but firmly. He wonders how'd you sound. He always replays you voice in his head but he's curious on what it'd be like under those circumstances.

Would you ask him to go faster? A little rougher? He'd be happy to do so. Anything for you. You're always so good to him. You'll be good for him and take all his cum, right? Absolutely cute and pretty looking so full with all of it stuffed into you. Maybe to the point where some leaks out, but he'll make sure none leaves from your fucked out hole.

Elm groans into his hand, his face getting hot. Even after that, he might just want to keep going, thrusting the cum more into you. It'd be nice... To see you cry from overstimulation. He'll kiss your tears away, tell you that you're taking everything so well, praise you on how great of a mothe—

The sound of his computer receiving an email makes Elm jolt from his seat. Oh... He lets out a sigh of frustration.

He's got work and his sexual frustration to deal with now.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, promoting, encouraging, justifying nor romanticizing yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, yandere behavior, bullying, harassment, blackmail, sexual scenes, abusive relationship, manipulation, verbal abuse, abortion, attempted murder.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟼𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟹 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟾 𝙵𝚝.

𝙰𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚃𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚛

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙰𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜/𝚘.

𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 .

𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜.

𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚢.

𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You had known him for the longest time, probably since you were both learning the alphabet.

Even back then he was a troublesome boy.

Loved to dip your hair in paint, pour glue inside your backpack.

Or always pushed you off the swings cause he wanted to play in it.

This didn't really faze you back then.

Most of the boys that age played such tricks on almost all the girls.

They all had a specific target and you were Wooyoung's.

You remember telling this one day to your mom, who simply chuckled.

"Honey, boys tend to tease the girls they have a crush on."

You remember looking at her with confusion.

How could they treat someone they like with such utter disrespect and rudeness?

"Because they don't know how to express their feelings."

Like an idiot you believed that, and being the naive little girl you were, you kinda started developing a crush on him.

You remember the first time you talked back to him, it's engraved in your head because it was the first time of many to come where his words, and actions, hurt you.

"Just admit you like me Wooyoung! You only tease me cause you're in love with me."

You remember the rage and disgust in his eyes as he shoved you to the ground, making you scrape your knee on the pavement.

"Get this through that dumb brain of yours Y/N....

No one will ever love a dirty little rat like you."

You came home crying that day. Hurt physically and emotionally at his words.

And the years to come weren't better, as you grew up, Wooyoung's bullying towards you escalated.

You hoped that after you graduated high school and started going to university, you'd be free from him, never see him again.

You could finally be happy for once in your life. Focus on your goals and career.

Everything was going great for you!.......

Until you walked into class and found out not only had Wooyoung been accepted to the same university...

He was majoring in the same field as you!

"Hey dirty little rat. Missed me?"

His cocky smile sent shivers down your spine, you were already fearing what he had in store for you.

If you thought high school was hell, it was nowhere near as awful as the torment Wooyoung was now putting on you.

Tripping you down the stairs to the point you had severe injuries.

Writing nasty and derogatory names on your desk that now wouldn't come off and you'd be forced to look at every time you went to class.

One time he went as far as stealing your assignments, ultimately leading to failing an entire semester.

You were so heartbroken and just done with his shit. You felt no more motivation to even continue studying.

Until a cute boy named Yeonjun transferred and took an interest in you.

He was super nice, friendly and not to mention good looking and hella tall.

It was more than obvious too that he wanted establish a relationship with you, anyone and everyone could see that.

Especially Wooyoung and he did not look the way someone else was making you happy.

So he devised a plan, not caring how messed up it was.

He made sure someone convinced you to go to a party he'd be at.

You found it odd that he was suddenly acting super nice to you, not even calling you those mild nicknames he called you in front of others.

And it shocked you even more when he suddenly apologized to you for everything he'd done to you, even offering to talk to your professor about your assignment.

His eyes seemed so sincere, you actually believed him.

Perhaps he finally decided to change, realized his behavior was unnecessary and immature and of course, like an idiot you accepted his apology.

You got wasted for the first time in your life that night and could not remember anything at all.

Until Wooyoung was 'kind' enough to brief you in on what happened.

He pulled out his phone and made you watch a video he had filmed of you two that night.

Your stomach hurled over as you realized it was a fucking sex tape, you and Wooyoung had actually fucked that night.

"What! No no! This couldn't have happened! There's no way!" You refused to believe it.

Wooyoung just smirked at you.

"Oh but it did happen kitten. You were so eager too as the video displays, you kept asking me to go harder, begging me for another round and wanting my cum all over you..."

"I wonder what would the whole school say if I posted it online....especially Yeonjun."

Now you realized what his game was. He was never sorry. It was just another form of him to torture you, and this tipped the scale.

You were so shaken up, you got down on your knees and begged him not to show anyone the video.

"Please Wooyoung! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Anything?......really? How about becoming mine then?"

And now you were forever tied to your worst nightmare.

Wooyoung especially enjoyed seeing Yeonjun's disappointed and heartbroken look when he announced that you two were now dating.

Now he couldn't even look at you anymore, feeling somewhat betrayed by your actions.

You wanted to tell him you were sorry and explain to him what was going on, but Wooyoung had eyes on you 24/7.

He even made you move in with him and now even your free time had to be spent with him.

You hated living with him.

He not only made sure to verbally abuse you, but actually seemed to have fun causing tiny accidents to happen around you.

His favorite was when he'd peer over your shoulder as you tried to study.

He scoffed. "Why even bother if all you'll ever be good at is spreading your legs?"

Those were his favorite insults: "whore" "slut" "bitch".

One time you were just so fed up with him, that you ended up snapping back.

"Shut the fuck up Wooyoung! You're such an insufferable piece of shit, no wonder your mom left you and your dad back in middle school."

As soon as the words came out, you wanted to swallow them back in.

Wooyoung was livid at your words.

He not only yanked you up by your hair, but he actually threw you to the floor and started kicking you harshly.

He didn't kick you for too long though, he did not want to risk anyone questioning when he told them you fell down the stairs.

And especially not take you to the hospital.

You had no choice but to stay home as you tried to recuperate.

You remember one of those days, you came home from a quick trip to the convenience store and found some girl blowing Wooyoung on the couch.

You weren't fazed. He often brought girls home and fucked them right in front of you.

You just sighed and decided to ignore the shit eating grin he'd give you whenever you caught him.

You decided long ago it wasn't worth it.

You two weren't even dating cause you wanted to.

He just loved controlling you, having power over you, holding something over your head.

He had this obsessive need to make you miserable.

And you hated that you had no choice but to allow it.

Even when there were things you didn't want to do, you had to or he'd once again blackmail you.

The one time you adamantly refused to was when you found out you were pregnant.

Wooyoung was just as shocked as you.

"And you're telling me I'm the father?"

"Uh......I can't have sex with anyone who isn't you, obviously you're the father."

Wooyoung couldn't let you go through with the pregnancy.

"Get rid of it." He told you.

You wrapped a protective hand around your bump.

"No! This is my baby and I won't allow you to harm it!"

You weren't going to budge though.

"Show the tape to everyone! I don't give a fuck anymore! But I'm not killing an innocent child who has done nothing wrong. "

Realizing he was losing control of you, Wooyoung knocked you out unconscious, deciding to take matters into your own hands.

You woke up a day later, feeling sore and aching in your inner thighs and lower abdomen.

You immediately panicked and sensed something was wrong.

You didn't need Wooyoung to tell you, you knew he had taken you to a clinic and had the baby removed.

You were so shaken up, cried your eyes out and no longer had any will to fight against Wooyoung.

You felt like it all all your fault, the death of your baby was your fault.

You weren't strong enough to save it and it was killing you inside.

You no longer trusted anyone, and you didn't have the heart to talk about it to anyone. Not like they'd believe you or care about you.

But someone did notice, Yeonjun never stopped caring about you and although he was hurt you went with someone else, he still had feelings for you.

And he was very observant and noticed that ever since you started dating Wooyoung, you were skipping a lot of classes....

And you were having a lot of accidents...too many in fact.

And now he just saw you completely lost and like a walking dead.

"Hey Y/N, are you ok?" He asked you one day.

You were going to respond, but the devil made an appearance by your side.

"She's fine and was just coming home with me. Weren't you baby?"

To everyone, it looked like a sweet and caring smile from your doting boyfriend, but you knew it was all fake.

Nonetheless you just kept your head low and went home with him.

Yeonjun noticed the way you trembled when he put his arm around you, noticed the frightened look in your eyes and he knew something was wrong in your relationship.

When you got home, Wooyoung was pissed off at you and immediately struck your face.

"I thought I told you not to talk to him! Can't you obey a simple order you fucking bitch?!"

When he pulled out a knife from the kitchen, you were now scared for your life.

You tried to fight back, but Wooyoung was stronger than you and you were still in pain after the abortion.

He knocked you to the floor and managed to land 2 stab wounds into your right side.

You could never forget the wrath and hate in his eyes as he told you:

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

By some miracle, someone taller and stronger than Wooyoung got him off you, that someone being none other than Yeonjun.

He felt glad about following his hunch and followed you both back home, otherwise he'd end up reading about you in the newspaper.

He had no trouble in subduing Wooyoung and calling the police.

The only thing on his mind was getting you to the hospital as soon as possible.

"It's ok Y/N. You're going to be fine." He assured you

Your physical injuries were easy to recover from, but the emotional trauma and abuse Wooyoung put you through was not.

Yet Yeonjun was there every step of the way, going with you to therapy and just listening to you and your terrifying story.

For the first time in your life, you felt truly loved and happy....

And safe.

A year after the ordeal, you were doing much better and were nearly fully recuperated.

Yeonjun and you rented a place together and were completely in love with each other.

Everything seemed to be going perfect....

And then one day your phone rang.

Picking up, you asked "Hello?"

"Don't think it's over yet you dirty little rat."

[toodles-doff]

So it's been like 3 months since I beat GAA Chronicles and I'm still hung up on the stupidest of shit and this is what I think about at 2am before I go to sleep every night:

(insanely mild G2-3 spoilers ahead)

Tf was the University of London doing that some randos could show up to a symposium with some elaborate cups and balls tricks and get free money from the government?

Like, isn't there some kind of strict vetting process that people have to go through to get government grants for their research, let alone be allowed into one of these events in the first place? I'd like to imagine that a prestigious university puts a lot of time and effort into determining where their funds go, but apparently not, since some of the people getting the money weren't even actual scientists in the first place, and were just literal stage macigians in need of some quick cash.

Also, if some guy is constantly scamming you out of a ton of money over a whole decade, wouldn't it be an incentive for your institution to either make some sort of blacklist, or to more rigourously research who you're going to be funding? There's no indication in-game that any of the fraud stuff was being dealt with, which is stupid (although we only had that one juror guy's input so idk).

Maybe it's just hard for me to picture, since a lot of my uni professors have talked about their years long struggles to get even a small amount of money for anything they wanted to do, and that's all I've really heard about when it comes to research grants. For all I know, this is all based on some real shit that happened in Victorian London, and they really were that loose with their money at the time.

I don't want to forgive anyone that commits fraud or anything, but if a group of allegedly brilliant and able-minded scientists are just handing out money, no questions asked, to the first guy that does something vaguely sciency-sounding and cool-looking, then it's kind of their fault? People can be assholes and take advantage of people, but there's a certain point and context in which it's someone's own lack of critical thinking that is to blame. Which is exceedingly stupid in this specific case, since good critical thinking is basically a prerequisite for being an academic in the first place.

[youremeimyou]

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

[thewidowsghost]

The Unknown Muggleborn - Chapter 9

3rd Person POV

Hermione, who had come back with (Y/n) the day before term had started, takes a different view of things. She is torn between horror at the idea of Harry being out of bed, roaming the school three nights in a row - "If Filch had caught you!" - and disappointment that he hadn't, at least found out how Nicholas Flamel was.

(Y/n) had opened her mouth to say something, but Fred and George had darted across the Common Room and dragged her away and towards Oliver Wood, her three friends staring after her, and catching her apologetic gaze before Oliver snaps at her to pay attention.

Oliver seems to be working the Quidditch team harder than ever. Even the endless rain that had replaced the snow couldn't dampen his spirits. The Weasleys complained that Wood is becoming a fanatic, but Harry and (Y/n) are on Wood's side. If they win their next match, against Hufflepuff, they would overtake Slytherin in the House Championship for the first time in seven years. Quite apart from wanting to win, they find that they has fewer nightmares when they're tired after training.

Then, during one particularly wet and muddy practice session, Oliver Wood gives the team a bit of bad news. He'd just gotten very angry with the Weasleys, who kept dive-bombing each other and pretending to fall of their brooms.

"Will you stop messing around!" Wood orders. "That's exactly what'll lose us the match! Snape's refereeing this time, and he'll be looking for any excuse to knock points off Gryffindor!"

George Weasley really did fall off his broom at the words.

"Snape's refereeing?" he splutters through a mouthful of mud. "When's he ever refereed a Quidditch match? He's not going go be fair if me might overtake Slytherin."

The rest of team - besides (Y/n) - land next to George to complain, too.

"It's not my fault," says Wood. "We've just got to make sure we play a clean game, so Snape hasn't got an excuse to pick on us."

Which is all well, thinks (Y/n), but I don't need a repeat of what happened last time, whoever did it.

The rest of the team hangs back to talk to one another as usual at the end of practice, but Harry and (Y/n) sprint straight back up to the Gryffindor common room, where they find Hermione and Ron playing chess. Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron though was good for her.

"Don't talk to me for a moment," says Ron when Harry sits down beside him and Hermione shifts to make room for (Y/n).

Then Hermione catches sight of (Y/n)'s face. "What's wrong?" she asks, a worried look on her face and Ron looks over at (Y/n).

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry tells the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.

"Don't play," says Hermione at once.

"Say you're ill," Ron offers.

"Pretend to break you leg," Hermione says.

"Really break your leg," at Ron's words, everyone turns to him.

"I can't," says (Y/n), then she signs. "There isn't a reserve Seeker. If I back out, Gryffindor can't play at all."

At that moment Neville topples into the Common Room. How he had managed to climb through was anyone's guess, because his legs had been stuck together with what they recognized at once as the Leg-Locker Curse. He must have had to bunny hop all the way up to Gryffindor Tower.

Everyone but (Y/n) and Hermione laugh, and (Y/n) leaps up an performs the countercurse. Neville's legs spring apart and he gets to his feet, trembling.

"What happened?" (Y/n) asks him, leading him over to sit with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Malfoy," says Neville shakily. "I met him outside the library. He said he'd been looking for someone to practice that on."

"Go to Professor McGonagall!" Hermione urges Neville.

"Report him!" (Y/n) agrees with the brunette.

Neville shakes his head. "I don't want more trouble," he mumbles.

"You've got to stand up to him, Neville!" Harry says.

"He's used to walking all over people, but that's no reason to lie down in front of him and make it easier," Ron says.

"There's no need to tell me I'm not brave enough to be in Gryffindor, Malfoy's already done that," Neville chokes out.

(Y/n) feels around in the pocket of her sweatshirt and pulls out a chocolate frog. She gives it to Neville, who looks as though he is about to cry.

"You're worth twelve of Malfoy," (Y/n) says.

"The Sorting Hat chose you for Gryffindor, didn't it? And where's Malfoy? In stinking Slytherin?" Harry finishes.

"Thanks, (Y/n), Harry ... I think I'll go to bed ... D'you want the card (Y/n), you collect them don't you?"

As Neville walks away, (Y/n) looks at the Famous Wizard card.

(Y/n), reading the card, smacks herself in the face and everyone turns to her. "I found him!" (Y/n) hands the card to Hermione and she sprints upstairs and grabs a alchemy book from her nightstand.

"I never thought to look in here," (Y/n) says, sprinting back downstairs and over to her friends. "Snape gave me this a few weeks ago to read."

(Y/n) opens the book and flips through the pages. "Nicholas Flamel is the only know maker of the Sorcerer's Stone."

This doesn't have the effect she had expected.

"The what?" ask Harry and Ron.

"Honestly, don't you read?" Hermione asks.

"The Sorcerer's Stone," (Y/n) begins pacing back and forth, her friends watching, "it was a legend, but I guess now it's true." (Y/n) runs a hand through her (H/C) hair. "It can transform any metal into pure gold and can produce the Elixir of Life, which makes the drinker immortal. If I remember correctly, Flamel just turned six hundred and sixty-five."

"The dog must be guarding the Sorcerer's Stone!" Harry begins.

"I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it safe for him, because they're friends and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone removed out of Gringotts!" Hermione finishes.

"A stone that makes gold and stops you from ever dying!" exclaims Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it!"

At Harry's mention of Snape, (Y/n)'s mouth spreads into a frown.

"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry," says Ron. "He's not exactly recent if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

. . .

The next morning in Defense Against the Dark Arts, while copying down different ways of treating werewolf bites, Harry and Ron are still discussing what they'd do with a Sorcerer's Stone if they had one. It wasn't until Ron said he'd buy his own Quidditch team that (Y/n) remembers about Snape and the coming match.

"I'm going to play," she tells the other five. "If I don't we'll be behind in the cup. If we win, I'll show them ... it'll really wipe the smiles off their faces."

"Just as long as we're not wiping you off the field," Ron comments and (Y/n) shoots him a incredulous look.

As the match grows closer, however, (Y/n) becomes more and more nervous, whatever she told her friends and sister. The rest of the team isn't very calm, either. The idea of overtaking Slytherin in the House Championship was wonderful, no one had done it in seven years, but would they be allowed to, with such a biased referee?

Harry doesn't know whether he is imagining it or not, but he seems to keep running into Snape wherever he goes. At times, he wonders if Snape is following him, trying to catch him on his own. Potions lessons are turning into a sort of weekly torture for Harry, Snape seemingly getting worse in each class. Harry didn't see how he could - yet sometimes he had to horrible feeling that Snape could read minds.

(Y/n) knew, when they had wished her and Harry good luck outside the locker rooms the next afternoon, that Ron and Hermione were wondering whether they'd ever see her alive again. (Y/n) hardly hears a word of Oliver's pep talk as she pulls on her Quidditch robes and picks up her Nimbus Two Thousand.

Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, had found a place in the stands next to Neville, who couldn't understand why they looked so grim and worried, or why they had both brought their wands to the match. Little did (Y/n) know that her friends had been secretly practicing the Leg-Locker Curse. They had gotten the idea from Malfoy using it on Neville, and were ready to use it on Snape if he showed any signs of wanting to hurt (Y/n).

Back in the locker room, Oliver Wood had taken (Y/n) aside.

"Don't want to pressure you, (Y/n), but if we ever need an early capture of the Snitch it's now. Finish the game before Snape can favor Hufflepuff too much."

(Y/n) nods, a determined look on the Seeker's face.

"The whole school's out there!" says Fred, peering out of the door. "Even - blimey - Dumbledore's come to watch!"

Harry and (Y/n) exchange looks. "Dumbledore?" Harry asks, dashing to the door to make sure. Fred is right, there's no mistaking that silver beard.

Harry could have laughed out loud with relief. (Y/n) was safe. There was simply no way that Snape would dare hurt (Y/n) if Dumbledore was watching, Harry thinks. Maybe that's why Snape is looking so angry as the teams march onto the field, Harry thinks, which Ron notices as well.

"I've never seen Snape look so mean," the ginger tells the other girls. "Look - they're off. Ouch!" Malfoy had poked Ron in the back of the head.

"Oh, sorry Weasley, didn't see you there," Malfoy grins at Crabbe and Goyle. "Wonder how long (L/n)'s going to stay on her broom this time? Anyone want a bet? What about you, Weasley?"

Ron doesn't answer; Snape had just awarded Hufflepuff a penalty because George had hit a Bludger at him. Hermione, who had all her fingers crossed in her lap, is squinting fixedly up at (Y/n), who is circling the came like a hawk, looking for the Snitch.

"You know how I think they chose people for the Gryffindor team?" says Malfoy loudly a few minutes later, as Snape awards Hufflepuff another penalty for no reason at all. "It's people they feel sorry for. See, there's Potter and (L/n), who've got no family, then there's the Weasleys, who've got no money - you should be on the team, Longbottom, you've got no brains."

Neville goes bright red but turns in his seat to face Malfoy. "I'm worth twelve of you Malfoy," he stammers.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle howl with laughter, but Ron, still not daring to take his eyes from the game, said, "You tell him, Neville."

"Longbottom, if brains were gold you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something."

Ron's nerves are already stretched to the breaking point with anxiety about (Y/n), "I'm warning you, Malfoy - one more word -"

"Ron!" says Hermione suddenly, "(Y/n) - !"

"What?! Where?!"

(Y/n) had suddenly gone into a spectacular dive, which draws gasps and cheers from the crowd. Hermione stands up, her crossed fingers in her mouth, as (Y/n) streaks towards the ground like a bullet.

"You're in luck, Weasley, (L/N)'s obviously spotted some money on the ground!" says Malfoy.

Ron snaps. Before Malfoy knows what's happening, Ron is on top of him, wrestling him to the ground. Neville hesitates, then clambers over the back of his seat to help.

"Come on, (Y/n)!" Hermione screams, leaping onto her seat to watch as (Y/n) speeds straight at Snape - she didn't even notice Malfoy and Ron rolling around under her seat, or the scuffles and yelps coming from the whirl of fists that was Neville, Crabbe and Goyle.

Hermione watches to see Snape turning on his broomstick to see something scarlet shoot past him, missing him by inches - the next second, (Y/n) had pulled out of the dive, her arm raised in triumph, the Snitch clasped in her hand.

The stands erupt; it had to be a record, no one could remember the Snitch being caught so quickly.

"Ron! Ron! Where are you? The game's over! (Y/n)'s won! We've won! Gryffindor's in the lead," shrieks Hermione, dancing up and down on her seat and hugging a beaming Pavarti Patil in front of her.

(Y/n) jumps off her broom, a foot from the ground. She couldn't believe it. She had done it - the game was over; it had barely lasted five minutes. As Gryffindors come spilling onto the field, Harry sees Snape land nearby, white-faced and tight-lipped. Harry lands beside (Y/n) and they feel a hand on their shoulder and they look up into Dumbledore's smiling face.

"Well done," says Dumbledore quietly, so that only Harry and (Y/n) could hear.

The Gryffindors run to lift (Y/n) onto their shoulder; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.

Harry leaves the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He leans against the wooden door and looks up at Hogwarts, with its windows glowing red in the setting sun. Gryffindor in the lead. (Y/n) had done it, she'd shown Snape. . . .

And speaking of Snape . . .

A hooded figure comes swiftly down the front steps of the castle. Clearly not wanting to be seen, it walks as fast as possible toward the forbidden forest. Harry recognizes the figure's prowling walk. Snape, sneaking into the forest while everyone else was at dinner — what was going on?

Harry jumps back on his Nimbus Two Thousand and took off. Gliding silently over the castle he sees Snape enter the forest at a run; he follows.

The trees are so thick he couldn't see where Snape had gone. He flew in circles, lower and lower, brushing the top branches of trees until he hears voices. He glides toward them and lands noiselessly in a towering beech tree.

He climbs carefully along one of the branches, holding tight to his broomstick, trying to see through the leaves. Below, in a shadowy clearing, stands Snape, but he isn't alone. Quirrell is there, too. Harry can't make out the look on his face, but he is stuttering worse than ever. Harry strains to catch what they are saying.

". . . d-don't know why you wanted t-t-to meet here of all p-places, Severus . . ."

"Oh, I thought we'd keep this private," replies Snape, his voice icy. "Students aren't supposed to know about the Sorcerer's Stone, after all."

Harry leans forward. Quirrell is mumbling something, but Snape interrupts him.

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?"

"B-b-but Severus, I —"

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," says Snape, taking a step towards him.

"I-I don't know what you —"

"You know perfectly well what I mean."

An owl hoots loudly, and Harry nearly falls out of the tree. He steadies himself in time to hear Snape say, "— your little bit of hocus-pocus. I'm waiting."

"B-but I d-d-don't —"

"Very well," Snape cuts in. "We'll have another little chat soon, when you've had time to think things over and decided where your loyalties lie."He throws his cloak over his head and strides out of the clearing. It is almost dark now, but Harry can see Quirrell, standing quite still, as though he was petrified.

. . .

"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione squeaks.

"We won! (Y/n) won! We won!" shouted Ron, thumping (Y/n) on the back."And I gave Malfoy a black eye, and Neville tried to take on Crabbe and Goyle single-handed! He's still out cold but Madam Pomfrey says he'll be all right — talk about showing Slytherin!"

"Everyone's waiting for you and (Y/n) in the common room, we're having a party, Fred and George stole some cakes and stuff from the kitchens," Ron continues.

"Never mind that now," says Harry breathlessly. "Let's find an empty room, you wait 'til you hear this. . . ."

He made sure Peeves wasn't inside before shutting the door behind them, then he told them what he'd seen and heard.

"So we were right, it is the Sorcerer's Stone, and Snape's trying to force Quirrell to help him get it. He asked if he knew how to get past Fluffy — and he said something about Quirrell's 'hocus-pocus'— I reckon there are other things guarding the stone apart from Fluffy, loads of enchantments, probably, and Quirrell would have done some anti-Dark Arts spell that Snape needs to break through -"

"So you man the Stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" asks Hermione in alarm, (Y/n) shifting thoughtfully on the desk she was sitting onto of.

"It'll be gone by next Tuesday," says Ron.

Hermione glances over at (Y/n), who is sitting silently, a thoughtful expression on her face. "What is it?" (Y/n) asks.

"The thing about the loyalty confuses me," (Y/n) says, jumping off the desk. "Who would Quirrell need to prove his loyalties lie to? Dumbledore right, what if Quirrell is trying to get the stone? What if that whole stuttering thing is an act? I've never been a hundred percent about him myself."

Ron shrugs her off, "It must be Snape."

"Not necessarily, not to be rude or anything, but I'm his favorite student," the others nod in agreement. Then (Y/n) turns to Hermione. "Who was sitting behind Snape at the first Quidditch match?"

"Quirrell," Hermione says.

"My point exactly," (Y/n) says but Ron and Harry shrug her off again.

"It's definitely Snape," Harry says and (Y/n) shakes her head and walks back to the Gryffindor Common Room alone.

Despite herself, she grins when she portrait whole swings open and the Common Room erupts into cheers as she steps through. Oliver and Fred come over and lift (Y/n) up onto their shoulder and everyone begins to cheer:

"(Y/n)!"

"(Y/n)!"

"(Y/n)!"

Word Count: 2963 words

[love-geeky-fangirl]

By biggest problem with Joey’s storylines is she is supposed to be the kind of woman that changes men and inspires them to be better but we don’t ever really see it on screen.

For example, the things Pacey claims Joey did for him (like helping him get his “first A”) are actually things Andie had done for him in season 2. When Pacey says his relationship with Joey is his “best” relationship, or that Joey made him into the man he is, or that she is the “only thing” in his life that ever made “sense” to him, it does not feel earned because narratively it’s not true. Pacey didn’t grow while being in a relationship with Joey, he regressed. His idolization of Joey isn’t just unhealthy, it feels unearned.

When it comes to Dawson, there were certainly times when Joey challenged him, but ultimately Gretchen and Jen challenged him a lot more and inspired him to grow. The thing about Dawson and Joey though, it that they both idolize each other so when Dawson puts Joey on a pedestal it doesn’t bother me as much.

And lastly there is Charlie, the guy who cheated on Jen. Are we supposed to actually believe he’s a changed man just because he skipped his tour to be with Joey? The show didn’t do a good job rehabilitating Charlie. The way I see it, Charlie doesn’t actually care much about Joey, he just likes the chase and wants to sleep with her.

I mean yeah. Even though I haven't got to the point where Charlie skipped a tour to be with Joey but I did see him flirt with her. I feel like Joey is a bit of a Mary Sue, every guy just falls for her from her childhood best friend, to the resident gay guy and even her professor. In season 1 at least she had flaws and insecurities and was generally more well-rounded and relatable. But by season 5 they turned her into a full on stereotypical Mary Sue. I mean no offense but where did her sudden interest in writing and literature come from? It's such a cliché. Before that she was interested in art and painting but that seems to have disappeared completely.

And honestly I don't get why every guy falls for her. Yeah she's pretty but all she does is study and hate fun. Basically at this point she's just a less funny Rory Gilmore but with worse fashion sense. I have said this before but why tf is every guy obssessed with that annoying tucking her hair behind her ear thing? "It's like you're listening intently" no, she's just trying to brush her hair out of her face so she can see, calm tf down.

The Charlie thing pisses me off the most because I was actually hoping that they were going to give Jen a decent love interest for a change. But noo every guy has to fall in love with Joey. I feel like this show has a Madonna-Whore complex.

As for Pacey I totally agree with everything you just said there. It has always been Andie who pushed him out of his comfort zone and helped him, not Joey. He even said so in 4x22 when he reunited with Andie and it was so sweet. I mean don't get me wrong Pacey and Joey were cute but after I got this ask I started thinking about the things that Joey did for Pacey and I couldn't actually think of anything. I could only think of the things he did for her. And I don't see how Joey is his "best" relationship or made him into the man he is when he felt terrible about himself when he was with her and even ended up yelling at her about it. She didn't deserve it and it definitely wasn't her fault but he said that he doesn't know why he's even with her and that she makes him feel terrible about himself and just... that doesn't sound like the best relationship does it?

As for Dawson I don't remember anyone ever saying that she pushed him out of his comfort zone because that would be a lie. If anything she always pushed him back into his comfort zone, into his bedroom watching ET. Jen and Gretchen and even Eve, the half-baked character the show forgot about, pushing him out of his comfort zone much more than Joey ever did.

Don't get me wrong this isn't supposed to be hate toward the character. I'm more mad about the writing. Joey could've been so great if they explored her issues such as loss of her mother at a young age, her father being sent to jail, the whole town gossiping about her family, her money troubles (how could she afford to go to the ski trip and stay in such a nice cabin it seemed pretty expensive for someone who claims to be broke), racism in Capeside and how it affected her family (how did we only see Bodie for like three minutes each season??) and her interest in art which she got really into in seasons 2 and 3 but then it was never brought up again ever. I don't know I feel like the writing on this show really isn't that good in general and all characters get butchered because of it not just Joey.

[bookswinalways]

december, 2020: life & content update

Earlier this June, I graduated with an undergraduate history degree from UCSD. Since then, to say I’ve been flailing around while trying to forge ahead in this pandemic-induced quagmire would be a slight overstatement, but not a stretch. Until January 2020, I was seriously considering graduate school. Unfortunately, the more I worked on my honors thesis, the less invested I felt in following through no one else’s fault but my own.

This is why, if you are considering grad school, please write a fifty page thesis first and then evaluate for your own sanity. In the end, my thesis was submitted only to my mentor-- I was unable to finish it in time for the honors deadline. The research was so much fun, and so interesting, but it wasn’t clicking for me. I loved working with my professor, but because I couldn't truly go all in mentally, it didn't work in my favor even with consistently positive feedback.

So, throughout these several months, a few things came to light. 

I do not want to stop learning

I still love history so so so much but I want to learn it on my own terms and not pursue it as a career/specific emphasis at this time

I want to challenge myself by learning something that I’m not as familiar with 

I must do something I can feel passionate about

I want to hear people’s stories and continue similar volunteer and community work if possible

I want to feel connected to my work

And then, something clicked. I had taken a law course during study abroad, but after transferring schools it hadn't felt as relevant. After graduation, I started to research law more seriously, and took an online course. And studying felt exciting again! Reading felt exciting again! The future felt a bit more corporeal. I took an LSAT diagnostic (bless Khan Academy) and found I did far better on it than on the GRE practice sections, and it was actually enjoyable. I kept finding that there were things I wanted to do with law, and certain areas that seemed to speak to me. I still love history, but this felt right.

In summation: I want to go to law school. Not the most casual statement, and it’s an opportunity I am lucky to even consider. I’m still trying to adjust my short term goals to my new long term one, and even though it feels right, quite frankly, I’m not sure how I’m going to go about doing this. There is no guarantee that this will work out. But I really want to try, and use this platform more often as a way of staying on track.

Furthermore, I definitely need to explore the field and the opportunities even more, and get some hands-on experience within them. Feeling alright about an LSAT diagnostic score and enjoying some funky intellectual stimulus isn't a sturdy enough reason to go all in, and even though those aren't my main reasons, it's important to keep that in mind. It's okay to fail, it's okay to change your mind, as long as you're working towards something better and hold yourself accountable.

Ultimately, I’m not sure how this blog’s content might shift (not that it has ever been set in stone). Still going to use bullet journals as I can’t manage without one, but beyond that, it’s going to be an evolutionary process. Definitely going to collect a lot more LSAT info, and share some snapshots of that process. 

Most importantly, thank you.

Thank you to anyone who has followed or is just scrolling along, and to all my friends on here, I am so grateful for your support. This community has helped me through a lot. If you have any questions about anything or just want to chat, please shoot me a message or an ask.

♡

[shinyrockalaska]

Hanukkah at Hogwarts

Hello, this is a fanfic I wrote about my MC, last year, when some of Hanukkah days fell on Christmas. I'm now posting it for everyone to enjoy.

Summary: the Hogwarts Mystery friends celebrate Hanukkah with my half-jewish MC.

Word count: 1.5k

~~~

I sat down in the Christmas theme decorated great hall, but with a sad face. Seems like the rest of my family already got their plans for the holidays. Well, not really, but my mum decided yet again to visit her relatives, alone. That led to my dad deciding to take my toddler brother with him and celebrate Christmas with his own family. When I think about it, ever since Jacob went missing my family didn't got to celebrate any holidays at all. Not together, at least. Even now that I've found him I still don't know where he is, and I'm starting to doubt my family will ever be normal again.

"Hey what's with the sad face?" Rowan asked, sitting down next to me.

"Guess who's staying in Hogwarts during the holidays.. again.." I said in a fake-happy voice.

She gave me a sad smile, "I wish you could come with me to the tree farm but my entire family will be there so there's no place left.." "lucky you," I murmured, and she immidietly apologized.

"It's okay," I said, "technically I can spend Christmas with my dad, my little brother and my dad's family, but.. that's the problem."

"Your dad's family is a problem? Seriously I'm sure any of your friends would be happy to have you over you know.."

"No, no, it's not that.. just.. I'm tired of celebrating Christmas."

She looked surprised. "that is a sentence I never thought I would hear anyone say.."

"I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter what the holiday is if you spend it with the people you love, but.." I sighed, "you know I'm technically Jewish, right? I miss celebrating Hanukkah. I haven't got to do it ever since Jacob's gone missing and my mum slowly drifted away, you know.."

"Oh, yeah.." she said awkwardly, "well.. what do you usually do on Hanukkah?"

"We do a lot of things, like lightning the menorah. There's a place for 9 candles in it and each day we light one more candle than the day before. Starting with two candles- one, because it's the first day and the second is a candle that lit up the other candles. It's called shamash."

"That's sounds really interesting! How many candles do you lit? For how long? Why?" Rowan asked, curiously.

"I've never counted how many.. but we do it for eight days.. starting with two and each day we add another candle so-"

"44 in total. Continue please."

It was always impressive how quick and smart Rowan was.

"We do it because.. years ago.. oh no I barely remember! Something with a rebellion against greeks, the second holy temple, and a cruse of oil that was suppose to light the menorah for only one day but it lasted eight days so it was a miracle.. see, this is exactly the problem of not celebrating this holiday for so long!" I said frustrated, but Rowan continued to ask questions despite my despair.

"So it's a holiday about miracles. That's really nice! What else do you do?"

"W-well.. because of that cruse of oil we eat lots of food with oil. Not very healthy I must say, but tradition is tradition. We have latkes, which is kind of like a potato or cheese pancakes, and sufganyot, it's like jam filled doughnuts, but it can be filled with anything, really."

"So for eight days you light up candles and eat oil." she sounded a little judgemental but the way she described the holiday was funny.

"We don't have to eat things with oil, you know.. just a tradition." I laughed, "But we also get to play with a dreidel, it's a four sides spinning toy, that we play and bet on chocolate coins and we get money from relatives sometimes, and it's just.. a warm, cosy holiday?" I smiled, "I don't know how to explain it, I feel warm and peaceful inside, just remembering how fun was this holiday.."

"It does sound nice.. when is it exactly?"

"It already started but-"

"So let's celebrate! We've still got tonight, we can ask the house elves for the right food and we can light the menorah and play that game with that thing you said and-"

"Wait but I don't have any of those things how am I supposed to get them now?"

Rowan smiled at me, slyly, "You say it like you never invented a charm.. we'll use transfiguration of course.. come on!"

###

"I'm really glad that all of you get to go home for the holidays," I said.

I was sitting in the great hall now, with all my friends around me. It was all empty since everyone else were busy packing.

"I wish I could stay.." Barnaby sighed, "I'll be okay but my family isn't very nice, you know.."

"Yeah, me too" Ben murmured.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Your family's great. You're the one who's not being nice right now."

"It's not my fault they don't understand anything about magic and don't know what I've been through.." he shrugged.

"Yeah, ever since last year Beatrice acting.. you know.. and I don't really want to be stuck with her in the same room for the entire holiday.. " Penny agreed with him.

"C'mon guys, cheer up!" Charlie said before anyone else could complain about going home.

"Wait what are we doing?" Liz asked, as if she suddenly realized she was sitting with her friends. "I lost focus.." she admitted.

So I explained everything I explained to Rowan before, about the holiday, and how we plan to celebrate it.

We decided to meet up in the empty charms classroom, since Rowan already got premission from professor Flitwick to use it. Badeea, as the artist, volunteered to make a menorah, after I explained to her how it should look like. Meanwhile, I tried to make a dreidel. I couldn't just transfigurate one from nothing, so I decided to use a sneakoscope that I got from Jae once, and designed it as much as I could to look like a dreidel, with the right letters.

By sunset, when everyone met in the empty classroom, they were all excited to celebrate the holiday with me.

Badeea's handmade menorah looked beautiful, it was colourful and made out of clay. She even brought candles that Talbott conjured for her ("I picked candles in warm colours, for your warm holiday," she laughed.)

I set up the candles on their right place in the menorah, as everyone sat down in a circle around it. Then, I lit up the candles and said the blessings while everyone cheered.

"So what's next?" Andre asked as Rowan took a plate from behind her back, and showed us what's on it. "What's this?" Talbott asked and I smiled, "it's called sufganyot. Basically like a doughnut but with no hole and it's filled with jam." "Sweet! Give me some!" Tonks cheered while grabbing a few off the plate.

"Tulip, you've got those Candie I asked you for?" Rowan said with a smile on her face. "You know I always have Candies with me," she answered while showing us her bug full of candies. "I couldn't get those chocolates you told me about but candies are always good!" She explained.

"that's so cool! I'm surprised you managed to get the right food from the kitchen and bring so many candies!" I said.

I showed them the sneakoscope, "that's not how a traditional dreidel looks like, of course," I explained, "but we can still play with it. We need to divide the candies equally between all of us, then each round everyone will put one candy on the center of the circle and then everyone in their turn will get to spin the sneakoscope. See those letters I wrote on it? If it lands on this letter you get all the Candies in the middle and everyone have to put another candy, and so on."

"Sound's fun!" Chiara was the first to put a candy in the middle. "Prepare to be defeated!" Diego said, excitedly.

We started the game, and we played until bedtime, not noticing how time passes as we enjoy ourselves.

Barnaby was the first to lose, since he ate all his candies, rather than putting them in for the game. To no one surprise, Jae won, but he shared the candies with everyone, anyway.

"That was really fun! Thank you for sharing this holiday with us!" Penny said with joy. Everyone nodded with agreement.

It made me so happy, seeing all my friends celebrating my holiday, and enjoying it as much as I do. "you need to thank Rowan," I said, "She's the one who organized all of these.. I really appreciate it. That was seriously the best Hanukkah ever."

~~~

Happy Hanukkah!

To anyone who celebrate and seek representation as much as I do😂

[drnikolatesla]

Nikola Tesla--Who He Was, What He Had Done, and Where He Dreamed to Lead Us

Nikola Tesla is a man from the past whom the general public still knows very little of. Recently, his name has been sensationalized with all sorts of things, from conspiracies to the newest technology, but even so, people today still know only a small percentage of what the great inventor and discoverer has truly done for the science and technology we take for granted today. 

I get asked all the time why Nikola Tesla isn't as popular today as other well-known historical figures, but to be honest, Tesla is partly to blame. It is true that he was blackballed by corporations, such as General Electric and Radio Corporation of America, but to deny Tesla's responsibility for the today's lack of knowledge of himself would be leaving a big part of the story out. His fault was that he wasn't the kind of person who needed attention to feel special. He hated the praise and notoriety he recieved for his work and accomplishments. He preferred to be hidden from the public and left alone. He did get a great joy out of sharing his work and discoveries to those who cared, and would also protest anyone who stole his work and claimed it as their own, but he hated the spotlight and hoped his inventions, discoveries, and writings would speak for themselves.

To talk about what Tesla has done for science would lead one into a maze of technical terms unsuited for the mind uneducated in electricity. To even go into the technicalities of it all would be about as entertaining as an eighth period lecture on Donald Trump's fraudulent business career on the last day of school. So I will only dwell on who he was, what he had done, and what he hoped to accomplish for the future. 

Nikola Tesla is of the Serbian race and was born in Smilja, Lika, which during his time was located on the border of Austria-Hungary, today known as Croatia. His mother was a very talented inventor, and his father was a clergyman in the Greek Church. Tesla received his early education at Gospic in a public school, and later spent three years in the Higher Real Schule at Carstatt, Croatia. There he saw his first steam engine, which triggered his interest in electricity, and encouraged him to go against his father’s wishes, who wanted him to enter the ministry. It took Tesla surviving a cholera outbreak to persuade his father into allowing him to study science. Giving up to Tesla's wishes, his father proposed that he become a college professor of mathematics and physics, and sent the young man to the Polytechnic School at Gratz. 

At this new school, Tesla witnessed a gramme dynamo. It was one of the first industrial motors that produced direct current electricity. Its one fault was that it had commutator that caused great friction and resistance, making it highly inefficient. Tesla believed it was possible to run the dynamo without the commutator, but his professors scolded him, and dedicated an entire lecture on how it was completely impossible. Tesla began then and there to disprove his professors, and began working on ideas that would soon develop into one of his greatest inventions--the rotating magnetic field motor.

After finally making this discovery, the plan of becoming a professor disappeared, and the young student turned inventor took up engineering instead. He left for Paris to work with a telephone company, which gave him the opportunity in 1884, to move to America in hopes of capitalizing on his new discovery. Here is where the great genius would revolutionize and practically created the 20th century. 

So what has he done?

Nikola Tesla literally has more original inventions to his credit than any other human in history. As mentioned above, he is best known for his contributions to the design of the modern alternating current electricity supply system that we rely on today. All electricity using or generating alternating current is due to Tesla, without which, all our power lines extending out to all businesses and households, providing light and power, would be far less advanced. Tesla invented the Induction Motor, the Tesla Rotary Converter, the Tesla Phase System of Power Transmission, the Tesla Steam and Gas Turbine, the Tesla Coil, and the Oscillation Transformer. All these inventions helped advance America and its industrial revolution far beyond what any other country had done in history. 

His popularity first rose when he first demonstrated wireless energy/power by lighting phosphorescent light bulbs wirelessly in a demonstration given before the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, 1893. In his laboratory, he conducted a range of experiments with mechanical oscillators/generators, electrical discharge tubes, and some of the earliest X-ray imaging, which he made more safe for medical use. He was the first to invent and display neon lights, and is the father of remote control, building a wireless controlled boat exhibited in 1898. Although not recognized for, he was the first to discovery the electron, radioactivity, neutrons, cosmic rays, terrestrial resonance, and stationary waves. He was the first to explain the photoelectric effect, 4 years before Albert Einstein, and has a patent to prove it. He proposed a particle beam to be used for defense in war, which was based off his electrical experiments in Colorado Springs where he produced sparks up to 100 feet in length. He once said he could produce an artificial Aurora Borealis to light the night skies and help ships at sea in navigation with the same principle. 

His ultimate goal was to unify all his inventions into one big machine, known as his “World System,” but lacked the investments and funds to finish his work on a large scale. This machine would have provided clean, and cheap energy to the whole world! His failure to accomplish his goals left him with a distorted persona of a mad scientist, and a dreamer whose imagination created an unrealistic hope for the future. This is why his name has been twisted today.

Tesla would eventually die penniless and alone in his New York apartment, but he cared very little about that. He chose to live through all his inventions and contributions to this world that will last until the end of us all.

And that is who Nikola Tesla was.

“Let the future tell the truth and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine.”

–Nikola Tesla

“A Visit to Nikola Tesla,” by Dragislav L. Petković. Politika, April 1927.