#it is very hard to be so isolated

[murderandcoffee]

I desperately need people that I can regularly socialize with who are also interested in the same things I am currently interested in. help

[tigerr-cherry]

They're only silly on the weekends from 10-12

[serpentface]

Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.

Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.

Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.

Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).

It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.

The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.

A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.

Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.

The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.

It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).

This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.

To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.

Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.

They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).

In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.

[kinokoshoujoart]

the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆

(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)

poseref

[hastalavistabyebye]

It's called : Freefall by Rainbow Kitten Surprise is inherently a Fox's song, I know that. But the lines "Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself/And you don't want no help, oh well/That's the story to tell" keep making me think of Ponds.

[trans-leek-cookie]

listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

[alchemania]

Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

[coquelicoq]

[Image description: 10 stills from the anime "Natsume's Book of Friends" featuring the character Natori Shuuichi with tumblr text posts edited in.

Image 1: Natori is waving and smiling in front of a background of sparkles and roses. The text post is by tumblr user YandereChild-Archive and reads "me, introducing myself: it is i, your local asshole"

Image 2: Natori, Hiiragi, Natsume, and Nyanko-sensei are standing in the wreckage of Natori's spare room after an exorcism. Text post by RoseCrystal reads "should i get my life together or should i just keep being sexy and chaotic"

Image 3: Close-up of Natori's smirking face in profile. Text post by ShirleyTemplar-Blog reads "I may seem like an asshole / but deep down I'm a good person / and even deeper down I'm a bigger asshole"

Image 4: At an udon restaurant, Natori is asking the server if she's seen or heard of anything weird in the area lately. He's posed casually with his chin resting in his hand and has sparkles around him. Text post by ManyWinged reads "*walks into an antique store* i'd like to see your most evil items, please"

Image 5: After a sleepless night, Natori is smiling and posing with sparkles surrounding him. Natsume, sensei, and Hiiragi look on, unimpressed. Text post by jumex reads "Making myself hotter. To cope"

Image 6: Natori is smiling at Natsume, his hand on Natsume's shoulder. Text post by avantegarda reads "I may be an absolute disaster of an adult but when someone younger than me asks for advice I turn into a Wise Professor"

Image 7: Teenage Natori is sitting in his family's storeroom at night, reading. Text post by FuckOffStraightPeople-Blog reads "occupation: the family disappointment"

Image 8: Teenage Natori glares at an offscreen Matoba. Text post reads "when people explain things to me i see red. if i wanted to understand iw ould have understood. leave me alone ."

Image 9: Wearing a bucket hat in an attempt to go incognito, Natori leans against a huge advertisement for his album "Unloved", half of which is a photo of his face. Text post by BPDSuperBoy reads "the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it...astounding"

Image 10: On a poster for one of his movies, a sultry Natori smirks at the viewer, his hand poised to comb through his hair. The lizard youkai is visible on his cheek. Text post by semiotextiana reads "im so sexy and fun and fucking doomed"

/end ID]

BONUS: live teen reaction!

[ID: Watched by a crowd of people, an embarrassed Natsume pushes Natori in front of him. Natori looks serene and is surrounded by a purple cloud of sparkles. Text post by LauraMercierBodyScrub reads "cause of death: second hand embarrassment" /end ID]

sorry for being obsessed with this three-alter-egos-in-a-trenchcoat 20-something big bother figure disaster-ass man. as if it's my fault 🙄

natsuyuu characters as text posts 1/?

[leroibobo]

venice's levantine synagogue was built in 1541 for use by wealthy sephardim coming from what's today palestine, lebanon, and syria. the synagogue is located in venice's jewish ghetto, where italian, sephardic, and ashkenazi jews were sequestered. all of venice's synagogues were forced to close in 1917 to avoid an austro-hungarian invasion and remain inactive today.

[sturionic]

Hey, I just found your blog via your activism is not cold-calling post, and I wanted to say I love that you're posting some of the most profound, levelheaded, helpful, and accessible information and resources I have seen recently, alongside the memes and joy and special interest stuff. We are just a series of little lights waking up and figuring out how to be, and when we do it with care, and presence and fun and clarity, in solidarity with one another, in spite of all the horrors and division, it all links up creating a beautiful growing field, that it is such a privilege to be a part of. Its really easy to forget that and get overwhelmed. And I hope everyone gets to experience it, waking up in the field together. Its nice to have reminders that people already are, but we all are capable of, and are going to, accomplish amazing things, together, when we choose to evolve forwards and hold proper boundaries and look out for each other and share resources. Sorry for rambling at you over the internet, and the bad syntax, but it genuinely made such a difference to read and interact with your posts, and I'm really grateful to have new info and a healing reminder that not everyone is falling apart and giving up.

Thank you.

My god, this is the nicest message, thank you 😭💚💚

To be honest I'm not a huge fan of the word 'activism' for precisely this reason, although I frequently use it as shorthand so that people understand what I'm talking about. But community (and by extent community organizing) is a very natural part of the human experience. It just seems like a deliberate radical act right now because our society has been trying its very best to silo and isolate us from each other.

We shouldn't look at activism/organizing/community building as a "job" that is separate from our lives, or an ever-looming responsibility that can't leave any room for happiness and levity. That is just capitalist, puritanical nonsense dressed up in a different trench coat. Like yes, strategy is by necessity the basis of organizing. Strategy is critically important, as is consistent, deliberate action. But part of your own fight must include internalizing the inherent dignity owed to you as a human being and your own right to care, comfort, joy & safety. (And I don't mean shallow 'self-care' and 'you're valid' platitudes - I mean the involved & thoughtful work of believing in those rights, counter to very powerful external pressure to the contrary. All of us are owed those things with no qualifiers - you can't be the only exception to that belief, or else you don't truly believe it! The strength we take from that conviction is crucial when we are fighting for each other.)

Anyways lol, cutting myself off as I could ramble about this forever. But your syntax is lovely, your points were beautifully stated, and it was a real pleasure to read this!

[canisonicscrewyou]

It is genuinely so hard for me to socialize and keep up with people nowadays. I remind myself that people do in fact actually want me in their lives but then I have to hype myself up for ages to insert myself into my friends' spaces and minds. Things I used to enjoy and do daily that take forever to even start because of anxiety. The amount of people I used to talk to daily that I haven't even spoken to in months. I tell myself that I know I have a place in my loved ones' lives, I just can't bring myself to fill it. Out of fear that I'll be rejected or fear that I'll be a nuisance, I don't know. I need to stop being scared all the time. I want to stop the constant self-doubt and anxiety because even I'm sick of it, and I know it'll take baby steps to get comfortable again. I just. Idk. I just wish there was some kind of hard reset button on my brain.

I want a place in my own life again. I want a place in my own life again!!!

[thebookworm0001]

I just think the fandom’s nastier responses to the bg3 men is wildly interesting

like. you have three men who are coming out of highly unhealthy relationships.

One of them gets super sexualized and infantilized at the exact same time. literally people put him in the bdsm harness while simultaneously misinterpreting elven cultural norms to say he’s mentally no more mature than a teenager despite having been a whole-ass local judge who died because he gave out corrupt rulings and got his ass jumped because of them.

the other gets treated like he’s an incel because he catches feelings quickly, despite being wildly respectful when you turn him down. Half the issues were due to a bug, the other is that this man is so starved for validation because his goddess - whom has paid special interest to him since he was a toddler - kept him constantly feeling lesser-than because despite calling him her Chosen, she gives him none of the power we see Chosens be given by other gods. Not to mention she sends her other ex - his mentor and friend - to tell him to off himself to earn her forgiveness. For some reason his attempts to gain god-like power are received worse than the borm-sexy-yesterday-vampire despite both of them having the goal of being safe from manipulation and control. I assume because the vampire gets a sex scene when you let him destroy his soul for power and the wizard does not.

The fairytale prince route, despite typically being very popular, is being called boring and dull and while, yes, he has less drama than some of the others, is still compelling and has high stakes for that character. He’s sold his soul but he thinks the price is worth it and he’s made his peace with the personal cost because he’s helping people. The only real difference between this character and others who are willing to sell their souls for the good of their lands is that this time around, he’s Black

[bondagebimbo]

possible never mind on showing off my hair, my mood just tanked, BAD bad and I’m just.

yeah.

that’s about where I’m at.

[sinvulkt]

List of some of webtoon and manhwa recs.

First of all I should probably say that my favorite type of stories (so the type you might find in the list bellow) is ’tragedy comedy adventure’ without any romance, but possibly a lot of bromance | tension (ok some BL slipped by me into this list). And rather self destructive mc for the sake of their goal (often to the utter despair of the people who care about them xd). Bring forth conflicts and battles of will and rising against destiny !

@blackhazefanblog I did this for you! It took a while. Even if I think you’ll find the ones in [The Fantasy Kind] are the most likely to have similar vibes to black haze. : D

All summaries are from Baka-Updates or WebtoonLine. The links are either towards WebtoonLine, or towards the original official site (or official english translation if i found it).

The Fantasy Kind

Black Haze (Ongoing)

A long time ago, a portal to another world was opened, and those who acquired special abilities along with marks began to be called mages. After the incident known as "that day", the first-class mage from Ophion, known as "Blow", has become very famous. One day, he receives a very special mission: to protect the second son of the Artian family, who suffers from being called a "monster" at the magic school "Helios"! Thus, Blow enrolls in Helios under the name "Rood Krisch" to hide his true identity...

My all time favorite. I learned english thanks to it < 3. And it just group so many of my favorite tropes in one story ☆.☆

I’m not that kind of talent (Ongoing)

A talented individual who is respected by many and welcomed anywhere? Not at all! A bloodthirsty battle fanatic who knows no defeat? Couldn’t be further from the truth! In reality, Deon Hardt is a sickly human who coughs up blood from receiving the tiniest bit of stress and gets sunburns from standing in the sun for ten minutes. But due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, he becomes “Demon Arut,” the notorious 0th corps commander of the demon army and the demon king’s joker. Caught in a war between humans and demonkind, Deon must find a way to survive!

I discovered that one this year! I love comediy and tragedy mixed together, and that one fully achieved that, from making me laugh to absolutely destroying my heart seriously i am still hurting. Well this is a tragedy. Be warned. But a delicious one. (My heart TT.TT).

The Ember Knight (Ongoing)

When Nagyunn’s twin brother, Najin, is murdered before his very eyes, he vows to avenge his brother’s death by assuming Najin’s identity. But although the two may look alike, when it comes to fighting, Nagyunn lacks the talent and skill his brother possessed. In order to successfully execute his plot for revenge, Nagyunn resolves to train himself to become the prodigious knight-in-training his brother once was. Will Nagyunn be able to keep his identity a secret before others begin to catch on to his act?

Another one I discovered ’recently’ = last year. I absolutely adore the fact that the mc rely fully on wits and bluff. He will never get a cheat skill to get as strong as others- he just has to play his card rights (which happen to be a bunch of overprotective knights wishing he stopped going in front of the blade path). So he gotta bluff. A lot. Including playing betrayal at every corner, and i sure love betrayal :3. That and it’s a revenge story ~

TAL (Complete)

They walk like ordinary people, they talk like ordinary people but in fact there is nothing ordinary about them since they can materialize an image they have on their mind... They call themselves Chachaoong which also means Shaman and they do not know how or when they came to this world. It is now a time for their current king to choose the future one and so he did by choosing Yu Jin an ordinary human...? Many of the Chachaoong can not tolerate a human ruling them and now the poor Yu Jin not knowing what suddenly hit him, is trying to avoid the Chachaoongs who are trying to kill him!

This has been my second favorite after Black Haze for a long time, because I got a soft spot for escapists xd. All the more escapists with consequences catching them back faster than they can run until they’re cornered ☆.☆ Fight until the end against a fate you are doom to surrender to ~ I love it.

Catharsis (Complete)

Fear is a powerful emotion that can end up overtaking one's life. Leon thought he knew that. But when he's thrown into the demonic realm that Catharsis governs over, he'll learn that there is more to “true” fear than he could ever have imagined... But will he learn how to face it?

That one also stayed in my mind for a long time. The ending is more ’open’ than I would have wished, but well, there is no sequel yet so let’s call that an ending. Appart from that i loved the mc, and he has synesthesis which give really cool result in webtoon format (yay colors). In a world where nightmares take physical shape, the mc get attacked by nightmares and end up being recruited by the agency fighting nightmares bcs they feel smthg off about him.

Crepuscule (Complete)

Lark is different from the rest of the kids. He has red eyes, just like Vampires do, and he is bullied by the other kids for it. One day he meets Setz, a genuine Vampire of a Noble clan who is the only one that doesn't call him a monster or bully him. Eventually they become friends, but when Lark finds out he may have to return to the orphanage, Setz decides he does not want to lose his friend, so he invites him to his home... The world of the Vampires.

Another webtoon i grew up with as a teen. It isn’t my all time fav, but i still quite enjoyed it enough to reread it a few times. Must be the blond mc that reminded me of Rood xd. Or the fact that he is super weak in a world of monsters. Or the reason he has those red eyes. (Such delicious angst amidst the comedy). Are those just a trope I enjoy? XD

Godly Bells (Complete)

Divine Bells - they choose their own masters and they determine the status, prestige, and influence of the countries their masters rule. The presence or lack of these Bells also has great consequence in the lives of each country's royalty. In particular, the personal and political futures of King Hong-Ryeong seem doomed without a Bell, but at equally great peril if he obtains one. But are the Divine Bells simple magical charms, deities of great powers, or something else altogether? And when the owner of three of the eight existing Divine Bells dies, leaving them to choose new owners, where will the resulting turmoil lead?

Another blond mc i grew up with as a teen and reread a few time. And another ’king’ who is ’weak’. It’s in a fantasy world, where divine ’bells’ give each king (and thus each country) power. The mc country hasn’t been chosen by any bells for years, so quite look down upon. Until three bells at least or smthg choose the mc. And then they become people, with their own agenda. The mc didn’t want the attention but well can’t convince the bells to drop him xd. Which is why i loved this story. Once again, can’t escape fate even when you didn’t want it ~

Aegis Orta (Complete)

Val is an ordinary high school student who dedicates his life to God. His peaceful days however have to end when he learns about who he really is..

Very much in the same vibe of Godly Bells and Crepuscule, only I discovered it later and thus have less memories of it (bcs reread it less). It’s another blond character with red eyes that get ’fate’ thrown at its face ~ well. Demon powers. Same.

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I’m not gonna put Mxtx’s works here (Heaven Official Blessing, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Scum Villain Self Saving System), but they’re great too. If you love comedy and tragedy and don’t mind BL too much. Go for it. I usually don’t enjoy romance that much but it didn’t bother me with those works, bcs it’s presented so naturally into the story rather than harassing us every second. Phantom Paradise is also a BL, although entirely different vibe. It’s what would happen with matriarchat instead of patriarchat but all the toxicity remain - only gender roles are reversed. As for why I enjoyed it so much... I guess I am still somewhat sensitive to fan service ? XD

I also feel like I should mention UnderPrin, even if it didn’t make it all the way to my favs, kind of similar vibe to Catharsis and Aegis Orta. I’ll also mention Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist which is a manga but another blond character in the same vibe of the earlier ones, who refuse his own power XD. And Pandora Hearts because its my favorite manga ever. I even prefer it to Black Haze (but I think someone who liked one would also like the other?).

[orphyd]

Very excited to get back to my regularly scheduled hermitting and simming...

[jessiesjaded]

i need to shower but laying in a depressed stupor on the lounge kinda feels like the only thing in the world im capable of right now