#it is actually my birthday as of posting this AVA DAY!!!

[shrimpleasthat77]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 ME!!! I am officially the same age Kabuto was when part 1 started. Where’s the snake I was promised.

[gguk-n]

Chapter 1- Anonymous Conversations

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N formed an unexpected bond with a boy behind the screen. He doesn't have many interest it seems, except for reading her stupid poems.

{Reader's POV}

12/07/2012

Dear Diary, Stella is leaving for Canada tomorrow forever. Today was the last day of school before the summer break so I went to Stella's house after school. It's so shitty, how can she leave me like this and before the start of high school. I don't have any friends other than her, what am I supposed to do??? This isn't fair, first Faye moved back to her home country a couple years back and now Stella. It's like they don't even care about me. I made a google plus account so we can stay in touch. Actually everyone's on google plus, I'm just late to the party. I'm sure we'll still be close.

02/01/2013

OMG!! I think I'm in love. There's this new boy band, One Direction. Ava told me about them last year but I brushed her off saying they weren't my cup of tea, but OMG!!! They are fucking perfect and I love Niall so much. He's so cute and has the dreamiest eyes and his accent, I'm gonna faint. I bought the Take Me Home album yesterday!! I even put up their poster above my bed, hehe!! Sooooo, I may or may not be writing now. I think I'm gonna be an author. The stuff isn't great like Shakespeare but I'm sure I'll improve. I've written a couple poems and Aria read them and she thinks they are great. I'm gonna start uploading them on google plus. I made a separate page for it, under a pseudonym. If I really improve, maybe I can publish my work.

I was sat at my laptop, typing the latest story I came up with during lunch so I could upload it. There were a lot of people who were reading my work and even encouraged me. There is improvement, but then again, we can do better, I'm sure. My parents aren't very happy with how I'm wasting my time writing instead of focusing on my education since I'm in high school now. I finished typing the story and clicked the upload button, I got a comment on the post. It was from this guy, named Max, just Max. He always read all of my work and writes the nicest comments under them. I haven't spoken to him personally ever since my mother kept warning me about stranger danger and that it could be some 50 year old dude. But his comments are encouraging and make me want to write more. I hope he knows the kind of effect he's having on me.

My birthday is in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do since I don't really have a lot of friends. Even Aria is away during that time, so I don't really have anyone to go out with. My parents are busy as always.

So, out of desperation or sadness, I don't know which one, I posted on google plus saying that it was my birthday. The first person who replied was Max as always. I really wanna know when this guy sleeps or how he gets any work done if he is online so much. He messaged me personally too, to wish me again and even asked what I did. I couldn't lie because my heart was heavy, so I told him. I literally just unloaded about not having any friends and spending the day alone because work was more important for my parents. He was so nice about it. He spent the next hour talking to me and cheering me up. He's apparently 15, from Netherlands. He loves cats and lives with his dad and sister. He sounds like a fun guy.

After that, both of us ended up chatting on google plus regularly. I would message him immediately after school and spend the next couple of hours talking to him. Some times, he'd be gone a couple weekends but it was no biggy. I'm sure he had other commitments instead of entertaining a dumb teenager.

Max's birthday is on 30 September. I wanted to be the first one, so I stayed up late to match the dutch timings and wished him. He replied a little while later. He wasn't very excited about it. I get it, maybe his friends aren't there or couldn't make it to his birthday. I was gonna cheer him like he cheered me up. I wish I could send him a present. He really was a light in dark time. When I had no friends in school I could rely on, he came like the knight in shining armour. I just want to be a good and reliable friend to him like he is to me. He is such a sweetheart. We've never spoken on call yet. I guess I'm still a little scared and we've only known each other for a few months. I'm gonna hold on that but Max is a genuinely nice person in my eyes. But his dad doesn't sound like the nicest person from what he says, but I can't tell him that his dad is shitty so I just read his texts.

18/12/2013

Dear Diary, Maxie is the cutest. I haven't seen or heard him yet but I feel like he is. Otherwise, why would he encourage me to follow my dreams? He was so understanding and gave great advice. You might wonder why I needed the advice, diary. I told my parents I wanna pursue a degree in literature and we had a huge fight since apparently I'm throwing my life away and I should try to get a proper degree that might get me a job. Apparently, I'm not thinking straight. I've been thinking about becoming an author for some time now, it's my one passion, I've realised. And if it means struggling, I would rather struggle and be happy than be in a dead end job. Just because they are some big shot business people doesn't mean I wanna do that do. ugh!!! I hate them. Maxie calmed me down honestly, he heard me out and told me it was okay to follow my dreams. I think he is such a good friend. I won't tell him that, he has a big ego as is. LOL!!

I've been gaining a lot of traction on my posts on google plus. I have a couple thousand followers but Max is the most active of them all. Max is so effortlessly funny. He did ask one time if we could talk on call, I told him that my microphone was broken. I'm still a little skeptical. I know, even though I'm literally sharing everything with him, I've never spoken on call or video with him. Maybe some day.

04/03/2014

Dear Diary, I got a new phone and a new number. The previous one was one of my parents multiple numbers but this one is my own. I feel like an adult, hehe!! I made a whatsapp, maybe I'll share my number with Maxie and we might start chatting on there. Google plus had become a bit of hassle and I'm not uploading on it like I used to. I usually only open it to talk to Max. I think it would be better to shift it to another service. He's been a little busy this year compared to the last, didn't tell me much but I think it has to do with him being in his final year of high school. Can't relate, but I hope I'm done with high school soon. It fucking sucks. But on the bright side, I've gotten close to Nia and Aria and I could call Aria my best friend but she considers Nia her best friend. I don't mind being her friend. I have Max anyways.

Max has been quite busy lately, but I don't blame him. I would be busy in my final year of high school too. Even with all that, he has taken time out to talk to me. I did share my number with him, so now instead of google plus, which is a barren wasteland, we text on whatsapp. I've suggested talking on call some time when he's free, which hasn't happened yet.

We had set up a time to talk, it was really early here but I didn't mind, I was up anyways. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. I was anxious as well, what if he's some pedophile; all these thoughts raced through my head when my phone rang. Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Fuck was he flirting, is this flirting? A million thoughts ran through my head, no one's ever flirted with me before. I felt my cheeks heat up. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. There was a pause on the other end. I heard shuffling. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! The conversation flowed smoothly. It didn't feel like we were talking on call for the first time. I had a lot of fun talking to Max. He sounds like a teenager, much to my relief. He's just as funny on call as he is on text.

After that, we ended up calling each other regularly. Max would answer my calls whenever but sometimes I felt bad about calling him at the crack ass of dawn in Netherland so I would avoid calling him whenever. He is so kind and listens well but damn does he talk. Every one who knows me calls me talkative, if they heard Max their ears would bleed. But I like hearing him talk, he has the most random and vast knowledge, he's helped me write too many of my papers because I didn't have to research, I could just ask him; he's like a walking encyclopedia.

17/05/2015

Dear Diary, I think I'm in love. It's not some celebrity this time but I think it's Max. I don't even know that dude's last name but I'm in love. He not like the guys in school, he's so mature and funny and sweet and understanding and he supports me so much. I didn't know when or how but I think I love him. Obviously I won't tell him. It's prolly a crush since I have't dated anyone ever. I'll get over it, can't ruin my friendship over this. As is, he has gotten so busy. I think he is going to college. He didn't say it explicitly but why else would he be so busy right now if not applying for colleges. I don't know the dutch education system but I'm sure he busy pursuing higher education. He said he liked cars, I think he'll do something with cars. I didn't really ask in more details. I'm sure he'll tell me when he wants to. We have a chill friendship, we share when and what we want to. Alas, I hope this crush doesn't ruin my friendship.

09/08/2015

This is bad, my crush on Max has only gone on to increase. He's so kind to me, what am I supposed to do? Also he's the only one who can calm me down after a fight with my parents regarding my future. Sadly, he gotten so busy. He's gone for a while every few weeks. But lately he's been free. We've been talking a lot. He sounds a lot more rested lately too. I'm sure college is tough. But he's strong and I know he'll do it.

[Little did Y/N know, Max was busy racing across the world in Redbull's junior team. He was in his first year as a formula one driver, hence he was so busy. Max had no intentions of telling her, he liked being just Max, a guy from Netherlands who could talk to her. He enjoyed the disconnect he got with her]

[j-eryewrites]

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Chapter Six of Under Pressure: A Thunderbolts Fic

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST

Previous | Next

Word Count: ~6.8k

Warnings: Mentions of death and violence, THUNDERBOLTS SPOILERS?, mentions of childhood trauma, language, mentions of Pepper and Morgan, Bucky acts like a dad/concerned uncle(let me know if I missed anything)

Author's Note: Went on a trip for my birthday and finally got back, so sorry for the late chapter. I'm hoping to at least post once a week. Anyways, this chapter is a fun one, and the beginning to the speculating (basically, I get to make stuff up, so yay!) The team gets food and finds a place to crash for the day, more Bob and Reader moments...I hope you enjoy!

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The restaurant was practically empty besides the seven of you in the wake of the Void incident, yet if you were to close your eyes, it’d be just as loud as rush hour, when everyone trickled in from their lunch breaks with the time clicking until they returned to work. Beside you, Alexei was chewing. His mouth was wide open, letting more food fall onto his plate than what was actually swallowed down his throat. He was chipper, even though you all had risked your lives, nearly died numerous times, and had been up for more days than were healthy. Still, he loudly jumped from conversational topics, starting with his disdain for the Avengers title, saying he liked the Thunderbolts more, then somehow ended up telling everyone the story of an after-mission party in Russia.  You were glad there were no children in the restaurant due to the lewd direction Alexei’s story was taking. You were hardly paying attention, instead watching Walker’s face contort as he tried to swallow his next bite of food. Watching, you tried to hide your snicker as John gagged on a bite of his food at Alexei’s next words. 

“Oh no,” Yelena groaned into her hand. Her fingers dragged down her face, elongating her embarrassed expression. “No, no, Alexei,” she called out. “No one wants to hear about that as we eat.” 

“Yelena,” Alexei exasperated, throwing his arms up into the air, shooting bits of food at all of you. Flinching, you narrowly missed the chunk of lettuce coming your way. “It’s natural. You feel the glory of the battle and want to share success with others. Huh?” His eyes widened with enthusiasm, seeking agreement from the men at the table. Walker shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unsure whether to encourage the man. Meanwhile, Bucky waved his hand dismissing the notion entirely, which left Bob; And Alexei singled out poor Bob. With a clap, Alexei patted Bob’s back, wiggling his brows. In turn, Bob arched his back, wriggling out of Alexei’s hold. “You understand Bob. I see in eyes.”

“I-uh-I don’t-sure?” Bob managed to stammer out. His eyes fell on you for an escape, to which you simply shrugged, not wanting to be a part of this. An action Alexei didn’t miss.

“See!” Alexei stood up triumphantly. A smirk appeared on his face in a not-so-whisper, and he leaned into Bob. “Let me guess, you share success today with–” 

“Dad!” Yelena pleaded. “Can you stop?” Alexei’s face fell at his daughter's words. 

“I thought it was never going to end,” Ava muttered under her breath before taking a sip of her soda. 

“Tell me about it,” Walker added. 

By now, there was no sign of any staff members. You didn’t blame them for making themselves scarce. However, it didn’t take long for Alexei to bring up another story to share with the others. This time, more PG-friendly. 

“Pst,” Bucky called out to you, stopping you mid-bite. He nudged his head, asking you to follow him. If the others noticed you two leaving, they made no note of it. Walking to the corner by the bathrooms, Bucky stopped you with a firm expression printed onto his face. You knew that look well. It’s one that you've had a plethora of experience with, seeing it from Tony, occasionally Steve, and the others. You cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest to prepare for the upcoming reprimand. “Now that we have a chance, care to explain your involvement with the…,” Bucky motioned to the others at the table, “Bob ordeal?” 

“Bucky–” you sighed, but he cut you off with a wave of his hand. 

“You said you were going to get evidence–”

“Which I did,” you interjected. Bucky’s eyebrows raised at your words. “Look, can we talk about this later, cause I’m-”

“No, Y/N. We won’t talk about this later. You know why?” His hands were resting at his hips now. You rolled your eyes at him, glancing back at the table as Yelena and Ava snickered at Walker choking on his food again. Bucky cleared his throat, awaiting an answer from you. You grumbled a “why,” allowing Bucky to continue his scolding. 

“Because you nearly got yourself killed, and from what the others told me, at least three times. One of which I witnessed.” You winced as each word left Bucky’s mouth. You understood his concern, but you were no longer the kid who ran and hid with Steve and Bucky all those years ago. You were an adult and had been for a while. 

“Look, I get you’re concerned–” 

“That puts it lightly.” 

“Bucky, I’m not a child anymore!” You yelled, your voice carried over to the now-silent table. You tried to ignore how their eyes bore into the back of your head, their ears itching to hear more of Bucky’s and your private conversation. “I–I can handle myself.” Your eyes finally met his icy blue ones. “I got the evidence for the trial. End of Story.” 

Bucky opened his mouth to refute your words, but you shut him down. “Look, I’m sorry.” Bucky’s eyes lowered. “I got a live location and message from FRIDAY, only for it to disappear with no updates. Then you go and sacrifice yourself to buy us time to get out. So yeah, I’m concerned.” Guilt floods your system. Gently, you place your hand on Bucky’s arm. He reciprocated, lightly patting your hand in return. 

“So?” You asked, breaking the silence. “What’s next? With the impeachment, I mean.” 

You watched as Bucky’s face scrunched up. His jaw clenched tightly. “I don’t know.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” you tensed. You shook your head. This isn’t how the story was supposed to go. You got the evidence, and now Valentina gets sent to jail—end of Story. “I sent you the evidence. We–” You pointed back to the table at the others. Yelena waved to you before turning back to her food. “Can testify against her. Hell, maybe even put her in federal prison for attempted murder.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky raised his brows at your words, his shoulders tensing by his ears. “Well, she just tied all of us to her.” You felt every drop of blood in your body go cold. The New Avengers, the live broadcast. Hell, she got you and Bucky on screen as well. You two hadn’t said anything, but your presence was enough. “Doesn’t help, she wiped O.X.E’s slate clean. The investigation came up clear. Nothing.” 

“Fuck,” you cursed, fingers reaching into your hair to clench tightly at the strands. “She’s gonna get away scotch free…and we’ll be screwed if we try anything against her.” You fought the urge to kick the wall beside you, but your willpower wasn’t as strong as you thought it had been. Your foot kicked out. The wall thudded, and a framed photo fell to the ground, shattering. 

A chorus of ooo’s erupted from behind you. 

“Someone’s in trouble,” Yelena teased. 

Your ears flushed as you bent down to pick up the frame. Dusting off the photo, you took a step towards the counter, firstly to apologize, but then to clean up the mess you had made, but something stopped you. It had taken you a moment to recognize the faces in the photo, but you’d know them anywhere. The picture was dated to the Battle of New York and was signed by each member of the original Avengers. Your finger traced over their faces, stopping on your Father’s. 

“You’re more like him than you think,” Bucky whispered into your ear. You whirled around to face him again, a chuckle escaping your mouth. 

“Yeah, sure, you’re just saying that,” you disagreed. The frame dropped to your side. “He was a hero. Sometimes a bit of an overprotective asshole, but a hero…” You trailed off. “Nothing like me.” Your eyes trailed back to the table, unconsciously meeting Bob’s. He offered you a small smile before turning his gaze back onto Walker, who now took the opportunity to share one of his war stories. “I just don’t want to fail them. It’s funny,” you chuckled. “We’re a bunch of messed-up, traumatized people who were alone but found each other and made this,’ you whirled your hands trying to conjure up the word. “This team…it just,” You grew quiet. “Reminds me of them–The Avengers.”

Bucky took a step closer to you. His hand came to gently pry the photo from your hands. He held it up to you. The photo mirrored the team sitting at the table. Your eyes widened at what he was trying to get. You quickly snatched the frame back from him, shaking your head. “No. Bucky, no–”

“I think we have a shot–” 

“Then Valentina would fuck us over. Remember? We’re chained to her.” 

“Then become strong enough to steal those chains out from under her,” Bucky enunciated. You frowned. “There’s a reason Valentina wanted you to help her little PR stunt with the Sentry. You’re the daughter of the Avengers. Your name holds power. It’s time you took it back and made them proud.” 

You shook your head, stepping into the shadows of the corner, your shoulders caving in on themselves. “But–but what if I fail? What if I just give Valentina more power and–” 

“Then we’ll be beside you. Together as a team.” Bucky had never seemed more determined. A light flickered in his eyes at the proposal. You bit your lip, thinking it over and over. Your eyes darted back and forth between the others and Bucky. 

“Okay.”

A thunderous chorus of “Yes!” filled the air. It came from Alexei, who had quite the set of lungs on him. As his yell filled the air, you made a note to leave a large tip once you all left. You winced, noticing all of the others had been listening the whole time. 

“Were you…” You trailed off, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

“Listening to the entirety of your conversation? Yes.” Ava blatantly said.  “You’re not very subtle.”

“But it’s fine,” Yelena finished. “As Bucky said, we’re a team now. No use in fighting Valentina alone.”

“Hate to cut the conversation short…” Walker added. You all turned to look at him as a humongous yawn crept out of his mouth. Like wildfire, the yawn ignited a chain reaction in all of you; Your minds remembering your lack of sleep. “But can we talk about the whole team and Beat-Valentina's operation once we’ve, you know, slept?” 

Nods and murmurs of agreement echoed from all of you, but an important question hung in the air. Bob was the first to voice it. 

“Uh, where exactly are we supposed to sleep?” He raised his hand in the air like a student asking permission from a teacher.

“That’s a great fucking question, Bob,” Walker announced. His eyes fell on you. 

It took you a moment to realize, they were all looking at you. You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“You do live in New York—“ Bucky added. You shot him a glare. The New Avengers were sleeping at your place for the night.

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As you all lined up to enter your home, you wished you could turn invisible from all the looks your neighbors were giving you. You could only imagine how they felt: seven bloodied and beaten up, heavily armoured people, many of whom held terrifying demeanours, didn’t fit the prim and polished look the wealthy neighbor standardized. You offered tight-lipped smiles, occasionally acknowledging your neighbors until everyone had shuffled in. 

You took in a sharp inhale of breath, scooting behind those still removing their shoes in the entryway, only exhaling when you got to the open living room. 

“Now this…is home,” Alexei complimented, glancing around your house. His eyes fell on the various photos lining the walls. Some of which brought a smile to his face.

“Thanks,” you muttered, unsure of how to respond to the wave of visitors in your home. You weren’t one to have guests, even though you had numerous guest rooms and an air mattress in case anyone did come to visit. There had been some talks long ago for Pepper and Morgan to come visit, but they didn’t amount to much. Other than the occasional dinner with Bucky, Sam, and Clint, no one really stopped by. 

“Shit your rich,” Ava noted, taking in the sight of your high end home decor. Walker laughed at Ava’s comment. His eyes lit up as he patrolled the room as if he were picturing himself living in a place like this.  

Meanwhile, Yelena had made herself at home, plopping onto your couch. With a loud groan, she sank into the cushions. The grim and dirt from her armour rubbed into the fabric of the couch, but you didn’t care. “I’m stealing this couch, Stark.” You raised your brows at her comment. Part of you wouldn’t be surprised if you woke up one day to find it gone. 

The only one who didn’t welcome them into your home was Bob. He stood by the entrance of the living room, lingering on the edge. You turned to him, opening your arms. “You’re welcome to make your home, Bob.” 

“Oh, uh–” his eyes widened, taking a small step into the living room. Immediately, his eyes peered around the room in awe of it all. Glancing at the books and DVDs that lined the shelves along the far wall, you watched him stop and read all the titles. Occasionally, his hand would reach up to his mouth to wipe away something, his eyes finding something interesting on the ceiling. 

Clearing your throat, you began to speak. “The kitchen is just past the living room.” Everyone’s eyes followed past your finger into the kitchen. “Feel free to help yourself to food. Uh–” you rubbed your temples, feeling a headache forming. “Two bathrooms, one on each floor. There’s showers if anyone, you know–Bedrooms, I got two guest rooms, and can inflate an air mattress in the office if–”

“I call the couch!” Yelena calls out, already draping an arm across her face. Soon after, the others began to stake claims to which bed they’d sleep in. Alexei took the guest room with the bunk bed, and Walker begrudgingly volunteered to take the bottom bunk. Ava snatched the other guest room, leaving Bucky the air mattress in the office. Once they all dispersed to their respective rooms to rest, clean up, etc., you realized Bob was still standing, with nowhere to go. 

“You can take the couch with me, Bob,” Yelena murmured. Her voice was full of sleep. She was too tired to see the wave of discomfort Bob had to share the couch with her. 

“There’s also my room,” You offered. Bob’s eyes squinted at you. 

“Oh-uh, no, I can’t–”

“It’s fine, I’m not even tired,” you insisted. It was a lie, but Bob didn’t need to know that. 

“I-uh, don’t sleep,” Bob shrugged his shoulders, tilting his head. “I mean–I have a hard time sleeping in places I’m not familiar with…sorry.” 

“I get it,” you explained, trying not to overwhelm him. After all, his memory was still foggy from before. You weren’t sure he even remembered how he got to New York in the first place. “Do you want to take a shower or–” 

“Nah,” Bob assured you. His eyes moved back over to the books on your shelf. His feet waddled closer to get a better look. 

“You can read one if you’d like.” Bob looked back at you, and you felt another dismissal coming. “I’m serious. Most of ‘em are children’s and young adult novels. It was all I could read for the longest time…still, they’re a fun read.” You moved to stand beside him, reaching for one of your favorite novels. “This one is really good. Called The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Granted, it's a bunch of pictures and poems, but I loved it.” You smile at him, offering the book as a passage of time. Bob glances down at your hands, gently taking the book from you. Hugging it to his chest as if he were afraid of dropping it, he thanked you before turning away to take a seat on a nearby lounge chair. 

Steps descending the stairs pulled you away from the bookcase. Walker shuffled down, approaching you with a question on his lips. “Got any extra toothbrushes and a change of clothes?” He asked you quietly, eyes narrowing on Yelena’s passed-out figure. 

Your eyes widened. You hadn’t thought of that when offering your place for them to stay and sleep. You’d have clothes for the other women, but Bob, Alexei, Bucky, and John? Maybe you had something of your dad’s, but you weren’t inclined to give those shirts away just yet. “Oh, no. I can run out and grab something from the store, if you’d like.” 

“All good,” Walker began to apologize. “I was just–”

“I’m sure the others want to change and get clean as well.” Walker was still trying to refute your generosity. “I don’t mind,” you insisted. Reluctantly, he nodded, stepping back towards the stairs as he thanked you. 

Without wasting a moment, you had grabbed your keys and were on your way out the door when a passerby’s judgmental stare caught you. Groaning, you closed your front door and shuffled up the stairs. You snuck into your room, snatching a pair of clothes heading to the bathroom to wash up. 

Your skin stung as you pulled up the shirt. All the cuts and scabs that now littered your body had practically sewn the fabric to your skin. Peeling it off, you fought back a wave of wincing. God, it hurt. With all the adrenaline drained from your body, the entirety of the situation hit you like a train. Luckily, the steamy hot strings of water pumping from the shower soothed your aches. You peered down at your feet, observing all the dirt, blood, and grime taint the water a dark brown. The water swirled at your toes, pooling at the drain before slipping out of sight. Blinking, you wipe some droplets of water from your face, reaching for your hair wash. You had a meticulous and efficient way of bathing: tackling your hair first, then your face, and your body. It didn’t feel right to wash yourself in any other way. If you washed your hair last, there’d be lingering remnants of shampoo and conditioner on your back, so then what was the point of washing your body before? Clint had given you some strange looks as you explained your routine to Nat one day. Granted, he probably still used three-in-one body wash for all his needs, but even so, it worked for you. 

Rinsing the remaining bubbles of soap from your skin, you turned off the shower, stepping out to dry yourself. As if on cue, your phone screen lit up. Snatching it from its place on the counter, you answered the call. It was from Pepper, your mom. 

“Hey,” you answered, using the towel to dry your hair, squeezing the water out. You had an inkling as to what she was calling about. Pepper never really called you for anything unless it was important or unless Morgan wanted to chat. You doubted Morgan was there since it was the middle of the day during the week, which meant school. 

“So,” Pepper began. You could hear the tension in her voice from a mile away. “I saw an interesting news clip not long ago. Something about the New Avengers?” You sighed. “Care to explain?” 

With a click of a bottle cap, you began to put on your skin care. Your skin let out a breath of relief, feeling the soothing and healing products coat it. “It's…a long story, Mom.” 

“Well, I’d like to hear it, and don’t tell me you’re busy. I can see you are at your house.” You bit your lip, wincing. You had forgotten she had your phone’s location. Something about keeping track of the family. You didn’t blame her, knowing the shenanigans you and Dad had gotten up to. 

You let out a huff of air. Your hands came to rest on the cool surface of the sink. You took in your appearance before taking a deep breath to explain everything to Pepper. “You remember I was helping with the impeachment trial?” You asked her. Pepper hummed. “Well, we needed evidence, not just…hearsay. So I went to get evidence. One thing led to the other, ended up saving New York City with a bunch of…” Friends? Superhumans? You couldn’t think of a good word, instead opting to just skip it over. Pepper would understand you anyway. “Valentina saw her opportunity and used it. Now the impeachment will lead to nowhere and…” You couldn’t help the audible sigh that escaped your mouth. 

“And you’re just going to let her get away with it?” Pepper asked you. 

You shook your head, realizing Pepper could see it. “No, I just–How did Dad do it?” 

“Do what, Y/N?” 

“Gain the favor of the public? Lead? Make a successful team in the first place? Do it all?” You took in a shaky breath, reaching for your clothes to offer some distraction from it all. “ Bucky said I should make him proud, do what they would want me to do, but–I don’t know what I’m doing and if I shou–”

“You already do make him proud,” Pepper interjected. “You always did.” You scoffed at that. 

“Sure, it’s not like I went off and went rogue after…” Shame swallowed up your next words. “I failed him. Thought I was doing something good, and it just turns out I was hurting more than helping.” 

“You were young, still a kid–”

“And that makes what I did okay? Pepper, I killed people with my–I hurt Morgan and Dad.”

“That’s not your fault. You know the mind stone did something to your powers–”

“Still.” You tensed. “It’s been years, and I should be able to control it, to touch–” Immediately, you opened the bottom bathroom drawer, pulling out a pair of gloves, pulling them over your hands and fingers. 

After a pause on Pepper’s end, she began to speak. “You want to know how he did it?”

“Y-yeah,” your voice broke. 

“He played the part and worked the people, never stopping for a moment to achieve his goal and protect his family. To protect you. It’s hard, Y/N. It took its toll on him, but there’s a reason the name Avengers is something revered and respected.” After a moment, she continued. “If anyone can do it, Y/N, it’s you.” Pepper’s voice was gentle and reassuring. Like how a warm blanket and cup of cocoa snap you out of the trance of a raging stormy night, Pepper pulled you out, grounding you. 

“I gotta go pick up Morgan from school in a little bit–”

“Oh, I can let you go,” You sputtered. 

“She misses you. I do too. It’s been a while since you came to visit. Maybe you can drive out here sometime soon? We can talk about this more–” You thought about it. The cabin by the lake. The warm walls that comforted you and held the remaining pieces of your family. It was a place where only rest and peace were found–the place where you said your final farewell to your Dad. Maybe a break would do you good. A place for you to find your bearings before tackling Valentina off her pedestal.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” you interjected, cutting Pepper off. She let out a soft chuckle. 

“We’ll talk later.”

“Tell Morgan I said hi,” you managed to say before the call ended.

 Slowly, your eyes found your reflection in the mirror. You looked normal now. Fresh cuts still covered the skin of your cheeks, but you were clean and fresh. You took in a deep breath, muttering an affirmation to yourself. Cracking open the door, steam from the bathroom snuck out, clouding the air. You trekked down the stairs, snatching your wallet and keys from the bowl on your hallway cabinet. As you slipped on your shoes, a pair of footsteps crept up behind you.  

“Uh–mind if I join you?” Bob asked, pulling at the end of his sleeve. “I can carry the bags, you know, help.” 

You turned to look at him, smiling, “Book too boring for you?” 

Bob shook his head. “Finished it actually.” Your eyes widened. Just how long had you been in the shower? “It was really good,” Bob added. 

Shaking yourself out of your daze, you nodded, opening the door wide enough for the two of you. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind the company–or the help.” Bob smiled back at you, slipping on his shoes before shuffling out the front door behind you. 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

80s music blasted from the rickety speakers in the grocery store ceiling. It always played during the slow business hours. Where no one really was in the store besides those who no longer had better things to occupy their days, such as work, family, school, and more. It seemed you and Bob fell under that category with the numerous elderly folk roaming the long aisles searching for the best deal for their buck. 

Bob strolled the aisles beside you, pushing the cart. He quietly hummed along to the current song playing from above as you perused the shelves. You already had three tubes of toothpaste chucked into the metal cart, each a different brand of a minty fresh variety. You were unsure if any of your house guests had a preference or not. You squinted at another brand, which advertised as eco-friendly. You raised your brow, shrugged, and placed it in the cart with the others. Better safe than sorry, you figured. Next came the toothbrushes. You never understood the reason for all the different brands and varieties. They all did the same thing, yet it seemed there was a meaningful difference in the shape and design of the toothbrush bristles. You frowned, trying to figure out the difference between the Ultra Soft Bamboo brushes and the Micro Nano toothbrushes. Sighing, you placed both back on the racks, reaching for the cheap three-dollar ones. They came in a pack of 12. Each with different cartoon characters plastered onto them. Granted, they were marketed towards children, but you were sure they’d care less. 

Watching you place the toothbrushes into the cart, Bob let out a chuckle. You cocked your head at him as he wiped his mouth. “You put four different toothpastes in the cart and just a basic bag  of toothbrushes.” 

You glanced down at the cart, noticing the irony. A soft shrug left your shoulders. “I don’t know, it’s just people have different tastes and tooth brushes just…” You snickered, trailing off, not really having a reason for the diverse set of toothpastes. “Oh well, do you want to add anything?” 

Bob shook his head. “Nah, I don’t have a preference. Just whatever works, I guess.” 

“Same,” you agreed. “Never can understand the difference between all of these. Just too–”

“Overwhelming?” Bob finished. 

You nodded. “Yeah, overwhelming. I get that we don’t want products to be in a monopoly, but why are there all these differences? Like, what even is the difference between…” You grabbed two random toothbrushes off the shelf. “...Essential Fresh Clean or Advance Clean, like they both clean, or at least I hope they do.” 

All of a sudden, Bob let out a loud snort as waves of laughter rippled from his chest. You watched a large smile etch itself onto his face, as his nose scrunched up, hands doing the same, tucking in close to his body. You couldn’t help but soften at the sight. He seemed so carefree and so full of light. Like a lighthouse on a stormy night, his eyes lit up, shining their way through the dark. You couldn’t help but be mesmerized by them. 

“S-sorry,” Bob managed to mutter in between his chortles. “It’s just–you’re so funny. You know that?” 

You felt your ears growing hot from all the attention. Shyly, you glanced away, looking anywhere but at Bob. “Yeah, yeah. How ‘bout we move on from toothbrushes and onto the other things.” You said, reaching into your pocket to retrieve the list you had made. Your eyes scanned the different clothing sizes, and you had managed to figure out with the help of a very tired Yelena and a very intelligent AI. Who knew FRIDAY could deduce the approximate clothing size of everyone? With a click, you crossed out the toothbrush and paste section. “How’s your fashion sense, Bob?” You asked. 

Bob shrugged before glancing down at his clothes. “Not great. I mean, I just wear…well, whatever.” 

“Good enough for me,” You muttered, before telling him John’s, Bucky’s, and Alexei’s clothing sizes. 

You figured you two could divide and conquer, leaving him to tackle the men’s section while you trekked through the women’s. As you perused each aisle of clothing racks, selecting items that Yelena or Ava might like, you navigated the sizing like a pro. While just as confusing as an ancient grimoire written before time itself existed, you took to understanding the language of women’s sizing well. Something you had Natasha to thank for. Meanwhile, the men’s sizing was too simple. It made you feel like there was some hidden agenda. You didn’t trust it. After you had grabbed a few shirts and pants in the sizes of your female house guests, you paused. Did Ava even wear anything besides her suit? You remember her mentioning something about how it helped her hold her body together in the physical realm. You glanced down at the clothes you got for her, contemplating whether you should put them back or not. Instead, you chose to leave them. She wore them if she wanted to, and if not, well, you had a few extra sets of clothes for the future.  

Rolling the cart from the colorful women’s section into the beige and blue men’s section, you searched for Bob. Occasionally, you stopped to snicker at a strange quote plastered onto a shirt before moving on. It didn’t take long for you to find Bob, hiding behind a rack of pants. His eyes darted between the comfortable fabric of the sweat pants and the stiffer, nicer-looking trousers. 

“Get both,” you spoke, coming up beside him. 

Bob nearly jumped out of his skin. “Jesus!” 

You chuckled. “Someone’s jumpy. Who’re these for?” You asked, pointing to the pants as you gently pried the pile Bob held in his hands, placing them into the cart. 

“Uh, I got everything for the others, except–Does Walker seem like a sweatpants guy to you? I don’t know.” 

You pursed your lips, excessively jutting out your bottom lip. “John’s definitely a pants kind of guy. I doubt the man’s worn anything other than shorts when lounging around. If you’re talking sweatpants, Alexei’s your man. Bucky…he’s a pants man, but also wears sweatpants.” 

Bob cocked his brow at your words. “You seem very sure about Bucky’s taste.” 

You scoffed. “Only had to live on the run with him for a while. Of course, Steve was there, but you learn a lot about a person living under the radar with them.” You noticed the questions popping up from Bob’s throat, waiting at the tip of his tongue. “The Sokovia Accords Debate?” Bob shook his head, unsure of what you were talking about. “It’s this set of agreements that regulates superhumans. Some of the Avengers were all for it; it held us accountable for our actions and their consequences. But others…well, they knew it meant the government would hold power over us.” You grew quiet as you took a pair of pants in John’s size and placed them in the cart. “I was scared and didn’t want to be under the government's control again. I suppose some of the others felt the same way. But it created a…divide amongst us.” You felt Bob’s eyes stare right through you. The pity, the sympathy, you didn’t want it. Shaking your head, you peered up at Bob with a tense smile. “They were repealed in the end. You know, after…the blip.” 

Biting his lip, Bob reached out to grasp your arm and offer comfort. He couldn’t remember much about the blip, being in and out of intoxicated states. He had a hard time remembering anything from the haziness of his memory.  But before his hand could touch you, you stepped back, taking a sharp inhale at the sight of his hand, his bare skin. “S-sorry,” Bob hurriedly said, pulling his hand back into his body. 

You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry, I just–I don’t like touching people with my ability and all. Sometimes it’s fine and other times it’s…dangerous.” You stepped to the cart, taking the steering bar in your hands to push it to the grocery section of the store. You needed something other than some week-old beers and microwavable mac and cheese in your home. “It wasn’t always like that, you only had to worry about electronic things frying, but now…it’s everything—anything with energy. Anyway,” You muttered, trying to bring a more cheerful tone to the conversation. “Want to help me pick out something for dinner?” You didn’t give Bob time to answer before you had pushed the cart out of the men’s section. 

Little conversation passed between you two as you selected some ingredients from the vegetable aisle. A simple pasta was easy enough to make and filling enough for seven people. You figured you’d also get some stuff to make sandwiches and some stuff for breakfast, unsure of how long everyone would be staying. Bob occasionally selected a few things to place into the cart. As the silence deepened between you two, you felt shame rising, boiling to the surface. The only sound accompanying the tension shifting in the air was the squeaking of the cart’s wheel. It had decided the weight of everything in the cart was too much for it. You couldn’t take one more deafening squeak, but couldn’t find it in yourself to say anything. Soon, you found yourself finished with the checkout, your card in hand. The cashier handed you your receipt as Bob placed the bagged goods into the cart, replacing you at the helm. 

“Uh, I-” You kicked yourself, folding the receipt into a tiny little square. What were you going to say? Sorry for unconsciously dumping trauma onto you. Sorry for shutting down your help. Sorry for being a dick? None of the options your mind came up with sat well with you. Instead, you found yourself addressing a different topic. “Want to help me make…dinner?” 

“You don’t sound very sure about that,” Bob noted, sensing the uncertainty in your voice. 

“No, I want your help–I just meant–Is it really dinner? God,” you groaned. “I’m exhausted.”

“Thought you said you weren’t tired,” Bob repeated, unconsciously leaning into you. Not quite brushing shoulders, but close enough, you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. “Offered me your room to sleep in and everything.” 

“Right. I did.” You sighed, glancing up at him. “Well, Bob, I lied. I fucking tired. Yeah, I was unconscious after crashing down from the sky, but there’s a difference in resting and being in an unresponsive state–”

“Wait, you what?”

You paused, having arrived at your car. You clicked the button that lifted the trunk. Your nose scrunched up slightly. “Do you…remember?” You shook your head. “What do you remember?” 

“Uh,” Bob muttered, placing two bags into the back of your car. “Last I remember, I ran out, distracting everyone, and I saw you…” His eyes locked onto yours, his eyebrows pinching together. “You were calling out my name. They were–” He looked away. You watched as the muscles in his jaw clenched. You gulped. “You were supposed to be in the car with the others, but you came after me. W-why?”

You unloaded the last bag into the trunk, pulled the trunk closed, and began to push the cart into its designated spot in the parking lot. “That’s a…big question, Bob.” 

“We’ve got time,” Bob muttered. 

You took in a deep sigh as you two split; he entered the passenger seat and you the driver’s seat. Putting the key into the ignition, you turned it, your car humming to life. “I–” you looked down at your gloved hands. You had already told Bob more in a few hours than you had managed to spit out to Bucky in months. There was something about him that made you want to talk. Maybe it’s because you knew he’d understand, or that maybe he’d listen to you and not just hear your words. Whatever the reason, you began to speak just as the radio began to play a 90s rock song quietly in the background. “In the vault, I guess I made a promise to myself that I’d make sure you made it out. Told myself if I got you out, safe and sound, maybe I was what my dad thought I could be–a hero. And when you took off, drawing attention away from us so we could escape, I ran after you.” 

“But you are a hero,” Bob said. “At least, I think you are.” 

You smiled at Bob’s words. “Thanks, Bob.” You turned your attention away from him and to the road. You didn’t feel like now was the time to drop any more stories of your past. Instead, you cranked up the volume, allowing the music to fill the air. 

Before you knew it, you had returned to your place, groceries unloaded and covering the countertop. Slowly, you began to unpack, placing everything in its place. Bob was kind enough to deliver the change of clothes and tooth brushes to their respective owners while you got dinner started. Yelena had woken up first, quickly showering before sauntering into the kitchen to peer over your shoulder, peering at the pot of boiling water. 

“You’re making…?” Yelena asked, her accent seemingly thicker with sleep. You glanced over at her. Droplets of water trickled off her hair and onto the new shirt you had gotten her. It was a light grey with cute doodles of puppies on them. 

“Pasta.”

“Pasta.” She repeated your words, slightly shaking her head back and forth like a bobblehead. “Just Pasta? No special sauce or–”

“Just pasta.” 

“Alright, no,” Yelena stated, snatching the wooden spoon from your hand. “There is no ‘just pasta’. That is so wrong. Sit back, I’ll make dinner. ‘Just pasta,’ she grumbled, the words like it was a slur. Too tired, you stepped away from the stove, allowing Yelena full control of the cooking process. “What else did you get from the store?” You shrugged. “Please tell me you got some vegetables. Some meat?” You pointed over to a brown paper bag on the counter. Yelena skipped towards the bags, pulling out what she wanted. She gave you an approving look before asking you where everything in your kitchen was located. But before you could answer, she cut you off. “Never mind, I’ll find it. Just go to sleep and rid yourself of those…” She used her finger to draw tiny circles around your eyes. “Raccoon eyes. A bit too emo if you ask me.”

“They’re not that bad.”  

Yelena smirked at your defensive reaction. “They’re bad. So bad. Bob, tell Stark how bad her eye bags are.” 

You whirled around to find Bob sneaking back into the kitchen. His eyes widened, hovering over your dark circles. He peered over at Yelena, who was waiting for his agreement. “I–You do look tired,” Bob replied. 

Quickly, you brought your hands to cover your eyes. “Alright, I got it. I’ll go sleep,” You turned to Yelena. “Just don’t burn my house down.”

“No promises,” Yelena smiled, shooing you out of the kitchen and up the stairs. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been sleeping. Once your head hit the soft plush of your pillow, your eyes closed, welcoming in well-deserved rest. Your lullaby was the loud rumbling snores that escaped through the wall you shared with the guest room, where Alexei and John were sleeping. You doubted John Walker was the kind of man who snored. Instead, you selected Alexei as the source of the thunderous noise. Any other day, the snoring would put you off sleep, yet the exhaustion that ached deep from within your bones overcame you. You didn’t even manage to pull your comforter over your body before falling asleep. It was a decision you regretted upon waking up. A chill crept up your body as Yelena shook you awake. Your eyes peered open. You groaned, of course, everyone was now occupying your room. 

“Whatisit?” You mumbled, your words slurring together. 

“Stark,” Yelena called out to you in your slumber. “It’s Valentina. She wants to talk.” 

You were wide awake now. 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

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[lavender-twilight23]

Random Thunderbolts headcanons/thoughts about the characters that have formed in my brain as I’ve been starting to write fanfiction* (and just things that I think are cute to imagine)

*mostly Bob not gonna lie

Putting this here just in case for spoilers

-Bob has an anxious habit of chewing his nails and/or nibbling at his knuckles, and he does a lot of anxious movement with his hands in general.

-Physical Touch is Bob’s love language. So is Alexei’s. Ava’s is Gift Giving/Receiving. John’s is Acts of Service. Bucky’s is Quality Time. Yelena’s is a combination of Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. She also makes an effort to learn people’s love languages if she’s close to them so she can make them feel the most loved.

-Bob is afraid of the dark because of his trauma from the Void and he is really ashamed of it.

-Bob likes going on errands with people, especially Ava.

-Alexei and Bob once raced on who could solve a Rubik’s cube the fastest. Bob won easily.

-Bob doesn’t like wearing socks since he runs hot.

-Bob is a pretty creative person (hence the book that he was reading in the post- credits scene: The Creative Act: A Way of Being) and sometimes writes poetry that he considers to be shitty. But secretly, John has read some and actually really likes his poetry.

-Bob has panic attacks relatively often. The first time he had one in front of the team was when Alexei was making eggs and loudly calling to Yelena across the room to ask if she wanted anything for breakfast. He wasn’t paying attention and dropped the pan. Alexei’s volume and the slam of the pan plunged Bob into a panic attack, and Bucky, with his own history of anxiety and mental health struggles, noticed first. He shut the others up and the team rallied around Bob to help him through it.

-John is secretly incredibly protective over Bob. He would never tell anyone, but once, after Bob had a bad day, he sat outside of Bob’s room all night to make sure he slept through the night.

-Ava’s favorite ‘holiday’ is April Fool’s Day for obvious reasons. (phasing, being able to sneak up on people)

-Alexei is atrocious at spelling.

-Yelena writes in really good cursive.

-Bucky has a doctor’s signature and John teases him about it often.

-Ava got Bob into journaling, and now Bob journals multiple times a week.

-Bob sees Yelena as the big sister he never had and is pretty codependent.

-Alexei throws a party for every team member on their birthdays despite many of their gripes with having a big celebration. But Bob loves it.

There we go, idk maybe I’ll post more when I think of more 🫡🫡

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Hey soo uhh can I like request an Alex volkov x fem!reader?

It can be a fluff oneshot or headcanons or whatever. but here's the visual: After alex goes to pick up Ava and makes a detour to the bakery, he spots a girl preparing Josh's cake, all in her pink, cutesy world.

Alex then takes notice that it's one of Ava's friends that he's only seen like 3 times before in his life. He asks if she's going to Josh's party but she declines, saying that Josh would freak out if he saw or heard about her being at a party (let's say that the reader has been close to the Chen's for a very long time that they start considering the reader as family)

Alex pays no mind but when he starts seeing the reader pop out of nowhere almost every single day, he gets sort of attached?

and if you don't mind, if you do consider doing this request, could you make it to where reader is happy go lucky? Nice, always happy, innocent like real innocent? I'm sorry to ask this 😭 I know this is a lot. anyways have a good day!

My Only Sunshine

Requested?: yes pairing(s): Alex Volkov x gn!reader genre: fluff (may become a series) warning(s): most likely gonna become a series, so SLOWBURN slowburn (good luck), reader is too innocent for the world, mentions of reader's parents dying, alex is honestly so in love and its painful, some mentions of reader with some feminine traits, but it could be for a guy too (i think), mentions of sex, no smut, reader is a virgin, but there is still no smut, left on a cliffhanger (i may make a pt 2) summary: 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘷𝘢'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 word count: 2.3k a/n: sorry this is so late my love, but i love the request so much, and thank you for requesting. i have a lot to get out at the minute, so i may try my hardest (and sometime tomorrow i will bring back the fic i js posted of riki bc i read through it and it was shit, so i will edit it, happy days). remember to eat and drink something, love yas, mwah! (if you want i can make a pt 2 due to how it has been left on a cliffhanger)

you loved you job at ‘crumble and bake’ simply because you were such a bubbly person and you loved doing things for other people. people would usually say it’s a flaw, but you wouldn’t, you loved it.

your parents died when you were little, and after years of feeling like you were worth nothing, you finally found something that you were good at. baking. you also managed to find your people. the chen’s. ava and alex were literally like your siblings, and their dad micheal was like your own dad. you were told multiple times about a guy called alex who was josh’s best friend, but you never actually met him.

you were now working in a bakery, ava and the rest of your friends were in university chasing their dreams while you were living yours. in a small bakery in a huge city. you baked all sorts of things. cookies, cakes for birthdays and everything else, pastries, everything. business was booming and everyone loved you. you would say you had a good personality, and others said you did too.

it was pouring outside, and you were trying your hardest to hold out closing the bakery because ava said she was coming to pick up her brothers cake for the party they were having that night, but it was hours past closing time and you were freezing as well as tired. it had been a long night and you just wanted to climb into bed and watch your favourite tv show until you fell asleep.

you heard the bell of the bakery go off and you looked up from the icing on the cake you were doing for a pick up tomorrow. you saw ava and a man walk in from a car outside. you smile and say a ‘hi’ before going into the back to collect the cake, as you were walking, you could fell someone’s eyes trained on you.

you come back a few minutes later with josh’s cake in the box. the man and ava must have been having a hushed conversation, because when you came back, they both stopped and looked at you. you smile at ava and round the counter, handing her the box. you stand back and smile at the both of them. it was so discreet, you could have missed it if you weren’t looking properly, but ava nudged the man she was with.

“this is alex” ava smiles at you. ah, so the man you had never met. alex volkov.

“i’ve heard a lot about you” alex goes for a handshake, but you ignore his outstretched hand and go to hug him. he didn’t melt into the hug, but you didn’t really expect him to. but what he did do is pat your back twice, which was when you took your signal to pull away. you heard ava stifle a laugh at his face. you looked up and saw it too. clenched jaw and eyes staring miles ahead of him, a stoic façade. “oh, im sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable i just-“ you tried to explain, ava was still trying to stifle a laugh.

“its fine” the man eventually grumbled. his voice was low and he didn’t sound like it was fine, but you nodded.

you bit your lip softly in shame, ava moved the box so it was sat on her hip and patted your shoulder.

“would any of you like anything else? im about to close up” you say softly, looking between the two of them, alex’s eyes were back on you again, and you almost missed the way he had to harden them again to keep his stoic façade. you didn’t mind though.

“can i have some of those cookies jules likes? she would never forgive me if i came here and didn’t get her some” you nod and smile, going back around the counter and grabbed an already prepped bag of the cookies, you knew either ava or jules would come in today and ask for them, so you prepped them just in case. still warm.

this time, when you got back up, it was alex at the counter to pick them up. you saw ava smirking behind him. he looks back at her and she gives him a subtle nod, before he turns back around and swallows thickly.

you hand him the bag, and his fingers brush against yours. he closes his eyes and lets out a small huff. you thought you had annoyed him again until he opens his mouth and speaks.

“are you going to the party tonight?” he says, so quietly you didn’t hear at first, so you furrowed your brows. “are you” he sighs “are you going to josh’s party tonight?” he says, but this time slightly louder. ava’s smirk grew wider.

“uhm” you think, “no, josh would lose it if he ever found out i was going to a party, let alone one he was organising. plus im just gonna go straight home after closing up. its been a long week” you say. your cheeks were beginning to flush and you were beginning to ramble, this was probably the first time you were having a conversation with a man who swung your way.

he nods softly, his face never faltering from its hardness. honestly, alex would have just left it there as he assumed he would never see you again.

but when he had to take care of ava when josh was away, he found himself seeing you a lot more often, sometimes just making sure to drive past crumble and bakes on his way home so he could see you in that pretty pink apron you wore.

honestly, sometimes he even just sat there in his car and followed you home in it to make sure you got home alright that night (it was getting dark on a night and it was winter, don’t blame him for wanting to keep you safe).

he also found himself asking ava and josh more about you, just wondering what you were like. he often used the excuse that he just wanted to know to see if he could trust you with making his cake for his next birthday since the cakes you made always looked good and were always sweet (secret code for: you looked good and was always sweet).

he never showed an ounce of emotion around you though, so did he like you, did he not? of course, you were also quite interested in the big brooding man dressed in all black in the corner of your pink little bakery every so often, so you asked ava about him.

“that’s alex, of course you know his name, but not his face as you’ve never seen him before, but by the sounds of things, you’re both interested” she told you one day. interested? what? that can’t be right because he never shows any emotion around you and barely even talks to you but orders his black coffee around the same time every day, then leaving when you do.

now you think about it… maybe he could be interested, he just didn’t know how to show it! you may finally be understanding this guy. but the not showing emotion thing? what’s with that?

“how can he be interested when he barely ever shows any emotion around me, and barely ever speaks to me, apart from when no one else is out and about to ask for his coffee?” you ask, you were probably overthinking things, but you never had even spoken to a guy before, let alone one like him.

“trust me babe, he shows a lot more emotion around you than he does any of us” ava replies, holding a pink skin-tight dress up to you. you furrow your brows.

“i thought we were shopping for you?” she squint her eyes, probably trying to imagine you in the dress before putting it in the shopping basket.

“we are, but there’s a party jules is hosting soon and i want you both there so i can set the two of you up” she smiles before walking off slightly, leaving you dumbfounded, you jump back into action and follow her.

“what about josh? he’ll kill me and you and jules if he found out i was there” you protest. i mean, you hadn’t been to a party before, much less one jules was hosting, but you did kinda want to go.

“what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him” ava smiled, linking your arm with hers as you continued walking.

and that conversation is what lead you here. in the skin-tight dress ava insisted she bought you, face gorgeous with make up and hair done very nicely. you were stood, holding your clutch, looking for any of your friends who had insisted you come, but instead, someone had found you.

“i thought josh said he would kill you if you were caught at a party” it wasn’t a feminine voice, nor was it a voice you recognised that well, and you recognised a voice when you heard one. you spun around and saw, the one and only, alex volkov.

“i did, but uhm, ava and jules insisted i come, so here i am” you resumed looking around for them, not really caring If you looked or sounded rude. you needed someone you knew so you could spend the night with them instead of being forced to get drunk and ending up in a stranger’s bed the next morning. you had never had sex, and you planned to keep that up until you were married or at least found the right person.

“you looking for them?” you spun back around and furrowed your brows, you couldn’t hear him over the extremely loud music. “i asked if you were looking for them” he repeated louder, “i know where they are” you nodded in response and he held out his hand for you to take.

you furrowed your brows, he told you it was so you could stay together. you hesitated but took it anyways.

his hand heavily contrasted yours, his were cold and calloused, whereas yours were soft and warm. you didn’t mind though, as with your warm hands, his hand got warm pretty fast.

he lead you to an outside area where jules, ava, stella, a very well (shitty) disguised bridget, and booth sat. ava was first to walk over to you. she smiled and welcomed you. she ushered you over to sit with the rest of the group while she stayed back to talk to alex.

it was so discrete that you almost missed it, but you could have sworn you saw his hand flex when iy let go of yours in order for you to go sit with your friends. you sat with them and jules passed you a drink which you gratefully sipped on while you watched ava whisper something to alex, who then left.

not long later, you were in need of a trip to the bathroom, and after assuring your friends you would go alone, you set off to find the bathroom. as you walked through the crowd, your clutch in hand, you noticed someone’s eyes on you. yes, there was a lot of eyes on you, but you felt a certain pair in particular that you couldn’t trace, and funnily enough, you didn’t feel uncomfortable by them.

you shook it off and went to the bathroom nonetheless. and when you came out of the bathroom, a man was stood there in the shadows. he walked out and up to you, looking you up and down.

“hi alex” you didn’t know how you managed to find your voice. the two of you were close now. you never noticed the hues of green until now. until you were both looking deep into each other’s eyes. your voice died in your throat when he cupped your face in his pale and cold hands.

initially, you flinched at the cold contact, but when your face warmed up his hand, you leaned into his touch. you almost missed the small smile on his face as you did so. you could tell he wasn’t much used to physical touch as he stiffened after a while when a frisky couple pushed past the two of you, pushing you both into the wall.

“hi” he whispered back, gently moving a strand of hair out of your face.

his body was now fully pressed against yours, his body stiff aswell as yours. you could now see every inch of his face, his sharp jaw and his colourless and emotionless face juxtaposing yours. your mouth was slightly ajar in slight shock and arousal. you had never been this close to a male before, let alone one you may be interested in.

you would be lying if you said you didn’t go to the bathroom to try and get a glimpse of alex again. you were interested in him and you wanted to know more, which you couldn’t unless he opened up to you, which, he wouldn’t.

maybe you could get ava to tell you more.

alex seemed to become more conscious of what he was doing, his body against yours and his hand on your face. he pushed away from the wall, your face became cold when he took his hand away. you closed your eyes softly, and when you opened them again, he was gone.

you sighed and pushed off the wall and made your way back to your friends. you told them you were going to head home seeing as you were still fit to drive, the only drinks you had was either water or colourful mocktails. they all nodded and you said your goodbyes before making your way outside, pushing past sweaty bodies.

you made your way out of the house, and you managed to drop your car keys, clumsy you. you crouched down to pick them up, but a hand met yours as you both reached for them, you looked up and jade green eyes were staring into yours.

[theworldofotps]

Under The Mistletoe With Him

Pairing: Hook x OC Rose Word Count: 1, 527 Description: Rose goes on a trip down memory lane about having Tyler's name for the company gift exchange.

So, her birthday isn't till the 24th but we agreed to just post this now! So a very very early happy birthday to my dear friend @writtingrose I hope you enjoy your birthday fic love! So thankful for you and your friendship I love you bunches! Never forget how loved you are ❤️

Thank you so much to @omg-im-such-a-masochist for help getting the idea rolling because I couldn't choose between the choices, I created for myself. You're the best babes x ______ Tag List: @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose​ @99hook @sjwrites22​ @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @biforrollynch​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666​ @lilred91​ @rebellious-desires​ @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie​ @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart​ @vebner37​ @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars​ @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234​ @legit9thlunaticwarrior​ @blaquekitty​ @ironshamelessyouth @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______

“Baby, where do you want these bags of icing.”

Turning from the oven with a pan of fresh gingerbread cookies you point to the farthest corner of the counter.

“Over there please Ty, I want to be sure we have plenty of room to do this and hopefully we can avoid a big mess.”

Placing the icing bags on the counter he stood back watching his girlfriend lay them all out and then got bowls of small candies out.

“What are those for?”

“The cookies and if we manage to get around to decorating that house, now let me just put in this next batch of cookies. Then we can get started would you please put on some Christmas music? I have the playlist already set up on my phone.”

“Sure can.”

Using her spatula Rose carefully places each gingerbread person on the tray popping them in the oven and setting the timer. Wiping off her hands she grabs the pan with cookies already cooled, carrying them over to the counter where Tyler had gotten the music to play.

“Okay babe here we go decorate it however you want but please do try and not get icing all over I don’t want to run out.”

Tyler chuckled thinking about the last time they tried this and how more icing ended up on the two of them then on the cookies.

“Don’t worry I’ll behave.”

Pressing a kiss to her temple Tyler grabbed a cookie and picked a color to outline with. Rose watched him decorate, this was a moment she’d remember for the rest of her days. Picking up an icing bag she grabbed a cookie of her own to start decorating. The two silently worked for a few minutes listening to the music playing in the background as they enjoyed each other's company.

“You know something, this time of year always remind me of how our relationship started.”

Rose spoke softly as the memories from a few year prior played through her head causing her to smile.

“You mean that time I got caught under the mistletoe with your fine ass?”

He smirked leaning forward to steal a peck from her lips.

 “I can’t believe I got Tyler.”

“What’s wrong with having Tyler I imagine he’d be pretty simple to shop for.”

“That’s easy for you to say Orange you’re actually friends with him, he hates me.”

“He does not hate you.”

“Oh yes he does he’s always glaring in my direction and when I tried to be polite or say hi, he just walks away.”

“To be fair he does that with everyone he’s just not a super expressive guy when it comes to being at work. But trust me he’ll love whatever you get him even if he doesn’t say it out loud.”

James assured her as the two walked down the hallway, it was a week before their company gift exchange and Rose was still unsure of what to get Tyler. He was serious when he said that Tyler would love anything she bought given the fact he was absolutely smitten with her. Not that Rose would know that given Tyler’s silent nature at work and don’t mess with me attitude. But the whole locker room and even some of the women knew about his feelings for her.

“What am I going to do?”

“Why don’t you go ask his dad? It wouldn’t hurt to give that a try maybe he can help you think of something. It’s better than stressing yourself out more than you already are.”

“I hadn’t even thought of asking Taz, you’re brilliant I’ll text you later.”

Rose smiled before scurrying off hoping to find the man in question to ask for help with his son’s gift.

‘Please don’t let Tyler be around.’

She silently begged walking into the ring area where a few of the guys were doing some practice moves. Spotting Taz speaking with Jack she made her way over and gently tapped on his shoulder.

“Rose, nice to see you.”

“Hi um could I please speak with you in private about something?”

Relief flooded her when he nodded, excusing himself from the conversation with Jack, the two walked a little bit away from the ring.

“Sorry to disturb you but I need some help, I got Tyler’s name for the gift exchange, and I still haven’t been able to find anything for him. Could you maybe give me a couple ideas? I just want it to be something he’ll like and find useful or something.”

“Ah I was wondering who got him well I guess it depends, what’s the budget limit?”

“Actually, I don’t know I didn’t realize there was one.”

“Okay, something simple yet useful. How about a gift card somewhere? There’s this steak place he absolutely loves going to whenever we’re around. You can’t really go wrong with giving the kid food.”

“That’s a great idea um what’s the name of the restaurant?”

“STK it’s a steakhouse I’ll give you the directions just give me a moment.”

Rose smiled, nodding as she waited patiently for him to look up the directions and texted them to her phone.

“There just text me if you have any other questions and I’d be more than happy to help you out.”

“Thank you so much Taz I appreciate this.”

“Anytime kiddo.”

Leaving the ring area Rose went out to her car and after putting the address in her phone made her way to the restaurant. After getting the gift card she picked up one other thing then placed them in a gift bag. When the party night finally arrived, she nervously carried the bag inside looking around, spotting Renee she rushed over to her.

“Hey Ree where do we put the gift exchange bags?”

“Hi sweetie they changed it up this year, you’re just going to give the gift to whoever you have.”

“Oh gods.”

“Who do you have?”

“Hook.”

“He just got here about ten minutes ago he’s there by the snack table probably trying to find a bag of chips to eat. I’ll just text Jon that way he can tell Tyler to come over this way, so you don’t need to push through the crowd.”

Renee hooked her arm with Rose’s and led her away from the crowd off to the side where they wouldn’t be bumped into.

“Alright Jon is bringing him over don’t worry this is going to be great he’ll absolutely love whatever you decided to get him.”

Renee winked quickly walking away as Jon shoved Tyler over to her Rose covered her mouth to stifle a laugh at Tyler’s curse but cleared her throat when he looked at her. Holding the bag out she looked at the floor then up at him.

“I know we hardly ever talk but um I got your name in the gift exchange, so I got you this family size bag of chips and a gift card to a steak place your dad said you liked.”

She rambled letting him take the bag from her hand and opened it a slight smile crossing his face as he looked at the gifts.

“Thank you Rose.”

“How.. I didn’t know you knew my name.”

“Of course, I know you’re name why wouldn’t I?”

“Because we never talk, and I figured that you hated me given the fact you glare at me a whole lot.”

“Not glaring at you just the way I look is all.”

“Hey! You two instead of babbling to each other why don’t you look above your heads.”

Jon called out causing them both to look up seeing a spring of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Rose felt her heart pick up in speed as Tyler’s eyes seemed to darken when he looked back at her, a smirk crossing his face. Rasing a brow he stepped closer waiting for her to reject him.

“Is it okay?”

“Yes it is.”

Rose said a little too fast causing Tyler to laugh quietly before his lips pressed against her’s and she melted into the kiss.

“I still can’t believe you thought I hated you.”

“Well, you acted like you did you weren’t really throwing out smiles or talking to me apart from the occasional grunt here or there.”

“It was all just a show baby I didn’t know how to admit to the most beautiful girl that I had the hots for her.”

Tyler said as he washed his hands then dried them before he hugged Rose from behind kissing her cheek.

“It would have saved me a lotta stressing out if you had.”

“True but that doesn’t matter now because you’re mine and I don’t plan on letting this sweet ass go.”

He said, grabbing her hips and pulling her into him the two laughing as she turned around wrapping her arms around his neck.

“We need to finish these cookies and I just put a fresh batch in.”

“We have a couple minutes besides I don’t need that long.”

“You’re awfully cocky you know that?”

“It’s my speciality.”

Tyler smirked cupping her cheeks as he captured her lips in a kiss much similar to their first.

[auxins-insanities]

been meaning to say this, but i am very soon going to be going on a possibly pretty long hiatus. there's stuff going on with family currently, im rethinking some decisions, and overall i just dont want to be the adult that wishes that they spent more time outside or doing other irl things as a teenager. this isnt a goodbye, but definitely a change in how things will likely be from now on.

i also might have a new account soon - hopefully this one will still exist, but just a forewarning in case someone pops up and says "heya its me".

ava community , you have been so amazing and supportive through everything. i cannot thank you enough for incredible times had and people met. we've been together in the silly and the ,, not (first thing that comes to mind is the us election. we've made it this far and we will continue to). this has also just been the best ava space ive ever been in , truly. i have not met a single toxic person here.

followers and mutuals , thank you so much for tuning into my ramblings, doodles, and massive amounts of bring me the horizon reblogs. im not sure what all to say to all of you because oh my god 44?? that's crazy man . i will say though.

@storgicdealer, you have helped me more than you'll ever know. you inviting me to the ava community last summer and allowing me to watch it grow is such a privilege , and also just. the fact that you felt my blog was relevant enough in ava content that you thought of me within the first 70 invited is so wild to me. and im sure you made a lot of those other 70 feel the same way. also my autocorrect keeps trying to call you storage 😔

@starry-907, you somehow manage to share my exact train of thought. it may be witchcraft, im unsure /silly . also i still think about that one dark and vic metal band idea from however long ago. also my autocorrect tries to capitalize your name so its like the soda 😔

@toridoesartstuff , haiiiiii!!! it feels like we haven't talked in forEVER but ive missed you ! i still think about you a lot but never can think of if anything to say without sounding stupid. and im bad at initiating conversations that arent "hey can i explain the whole lore of my hyperfixation to you right here right now". my autocorrect leaves your name alone, but its changed like. HOW MANY TIMES NOW? /j /silly

@dynamic-k, you've been here from the beginning. you were one of the first people i followed and i remember you were one of the first to interact with my one ANCIENT dark post. thank you, although we never talked, im not sure if my blog would be where it is if you didn't interact with my silly little post a year ago.

@chanceplushsk8r , you're cool. im sure we have had some wonderful interactions that i am currently blanking on, but this post wouldn't be complete without you on it. also i love your art grrrrr /silly . you were again one of the people i feel like have been here forever, and can't thank you enough for contributing to the community and just. being there and being cool i guess. also my autocorrect tried to spell your name like brook the body of water once 😔

@bmft, you're so so talented and because you share an interest with me, you're automatically cool in my eyes. i actually didn't recognize you from the bmth server until i saw your art posted here lmao. also my autocorrect tries to call you birthday 😔

now some questions im sure no one was thinking but i will answer anyway:

how long is this hiatus planned to last? likely until the summer, and by that point i will be off doing cool summer stuff and will probably have lower activity than usual. unless its too hot to go outside, in which case ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

what do you define as a hiatus? little to no activity, so if you see me occasionally liking something, you don't have to be like "they are a liar!!! and lies about this hiatus!!!!!" . right now im just playing it by ear.

should i respond to this post (if i was mentioned or otherwise)? yes!! the actual hiatus will likely start in a few days, so i will see your responses.

im in the ava community? youre gonna be giving me a long ass recap come summer lmao /silly

i hope everyone does well!! and do feel free to mention me if something is important and you feel i should be involved as soon as i can be. all that being said, you can expect me to go of the radar within the first week of this month, as long as this plan doesn't fall through . love you all, and stay safe <3

[kmomof4]

To Sir Graham, With Love Ch. 3

An early posting for ch3!!! Hubs and I are heading out of town for the weekend to celebrated our anniversary, and I didn't want Marta to have to wait until we got back for an update!! Thank you so much for reading and sharing! I hope you enjoy and I'd love to know what you think!

Thank you again to @jrob64 and @whimsicallyenchantedrose for beta and sounding board duties, and also to @motherkatereloyshipper for the GORGEOUS banner!!!

And finally, happy birthday again, @snowbellewells!!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

Summary: After a year long secret correspondence, twenty-eight year old spinster Ruby Jones decides to accept Sir Graham Humbert's offer of a visit to see if they might suit for marriage. Unfortunately, he failed to mention that he was the father of twins, and they are not thrilled with Ruby's appearance.

Rating: M (for smut in later chs and mentions of physical abuse)

Words: Approx 8800 of 68k

Tags: Red Hunter Fic, Birthday Fic, Inspired by Eloise Bridgerton's Story, Smut

On ao3 From Beginning / Current Ch

On Tumblr Prologue Ch1 Ch2

Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

@jrob64 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @the-darkdragonfly @jennjenn615

@donteattheappleshook @undercaffinatednightmare @pirateherokillian @cocohook38 @qualitycoffeethings

@booksteaandtoomuchtv @superchocovian @motherkatereloyshipper @snowbellewells @pirateprincessofpizza

@djlbg @lfh1226-linda @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic

@anmylica @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate @gingerchangeling

@caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite

@captainswan-kellie @soniccat @beckettj @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose

@thisonesatellite @jonesfandomfanatic @elfiola @zaharadessert @ilovemesomekillianjones

@mie779 @kymbersmith-90 @suwya @veryverynotgoodwrites @myfearless-love 

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

… implore you, Mother, you MUST punish Belle. It is NOT FAIR that I am the only one sent to bed without pudding. And for a week! A week is far too long. Especially since it was all mostly Belle’s idea.

– from Ruby Jones to her mother, left upon Alice Jones’s night table during Ruby’s tenth year

~*~*~

… have never been so bored in my entire life. David, you must come home. It is interminably boring without you, and I don’t think I can bear such boredom another moment. Please do return, for I have clearly begun to repeat myself, and nothing could be more of a bore.

– from Ruby Jones to her older brother, David, during her fifth season as a debutante, sent (but never received) while David was traveling in Denmark.

~*~*~*~*~*~

How could so much change in a single day? Ruby thought. Not long after arriving - just this morning, Ruby realized with a start - she’d been convinced that she’d made a dreadful mistake, but now, as they strolled through Romney Hall, ostensibly to view the portraits in the gallery, but which she knew was actually just prolonging their time together, she was almost convinced that he would make a fine husband after all.

He was obviously quite handsome. He was tall and lean with a chiseled face that reminded her of some of the works of art she’d seen in the British Museum. His blue eyes were piercing and his boyish curls simply begged for her fingers to run through them. But besides that, he’d been quite a pleasant dinner companion, though not as loquacious as she was used to. He’d accepted, and even admired, her fish-in-the-bed treatment of Ava, proving he had an innate sense of fairness, which to her was quite essential in a potential husband, and for whatever reason, he’d handled Ava’s understandable tantrum with aplomb, which after the confrontation this morning when she’d arrived, was a bit surprising.

They stood now in the hall, his large hand gently holding her elbow, and she was quite simply enveloped in his presence. It was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure, but gratifying as well. She’d taken a gamble on her future and she appeared to have won. Nothing would have been worse than coming back to London, her tail between her legs, and explaining to her family what she’d done. 

Ruby hated to be wrong. 

She hated even more to admit that she was wrong. 

Especially to herself.

But in this case, she didn’t appear to be wrong. 

Perhaps this could work. He wasn’t a complete stranger, after all. They had been corresponding for over a year.

“My grandfather,” Graham said, gesturing vaguely at a large portrait she could hardly see in the low light. 

Ruby nodded. “Is that your father?” she asked, nodding at the portrait on the right.

That was all it took for Graham to tense up - his shoulders and the corners of his lips tightening, the lines on his forehead becoming more pronounced as he nodded sharply.

“And where are you?” she asked, quickly realizing Graham had no wish to talk about his father.

“Over here,” he replied, leading them some distance away from where they stood. They came to a stop before a medium sized portrait of two boys - the older a young teen, the younger a couple of years behind.

“What happened to him?” Graham was obviously the younger and wouldn’t have inherited Romney Hall and the Baronet if his brother still lived.

“Waterloo.” No other explanation was needed. 

Ruby nodded and turned to him. He stood staring at the portrait, profound sadness in his eyes that Ruby couldn’t help responding to.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, laying a hand on his arm.

A small sigh escaped his lips, but his gaze didn’t waver. “No one was sorrier than I,” he whispered.

“What was his name?”

“George.”

“You must have been quite young,” she observed, thinking back to 1815 and doing the math.

“Twenty-one,” he replied.

It was odd, Ruby reflected. At twenty-one she was expected to be married and running her own household. But now, nearing thirty, she thought it was awfully young and green to be thrust into responsibilities he never expected to have.

“My father died two weeks later.”

Ruby gasped in dismay. To lose a brother and a father so closely together must have been terribly difficult for Graham to endure.

“Here’s a portrait of Jacinda with the children,” he said, motioning to the other side of the room. It had been many, many years since she’d seen her cousin, but she still recognized her, the darker skin tone, the dark eyes with a sadness in them that was utterly foreign to Ruby then and heartbreaking to see now. With a much younger Nicholas by her side and Ava sitting on her lap, Ruby would have hoped that her eyes would reflect the joy of having two beautiful children, but no, her eyes still held the same emptiness and sadness that had so baffled her when they were children together.

“She was lovely,” Ruby said quietly. “The children must miss her.”

Graham nodded. “They’ve missed her for a long time.”

Ruby thought that was a rather odd way of phrasing it. “I know how they feel. I was very young when my father died.”

“I didn’t realize,” he said, turning to her.

“It’s not something I talk about all that much,” she replied with a half shrug. “It was a long time ago.”

“Did it take you very long to get over it?” 

Ruby considered her words before answering, quite aware that the question wasn’t simply referring to her. “I’m not sure it’s something you ever fully get over,” she said, “completely, anyway. There will always be moments that you wish they could have been there to see and experience with you. But if you’re asking if I still think of my father every day, the answer is no, I don’t.”

Graham didn’t look away and Ruby finally turned to face him. They were still a respectable distance apart, but the darkness of the room and the intimacy of the conversation had a chill running down her spine. The blue of his eyes was spellbinding, and Ruby could almost feel his gaze as a physical touch on the apple of her cheek, along her jaw, and down the long line of her neck. 

“Ruby?” His voice was a whisper, and it broke the spell she was under. She took a small step back and searched for something, anything, to say in response.

“My brothers!” The words burst out of her mouth. “Especially Liam. He’s the oldest. It affected him much more than it did me. They were very close. And my mother, as well. They loved each other very much.”

“How did she react to his passing?”

“She cried a lot in the beginning,” Ruby said softly. “I’m quite sure we weren’t meant to hear. It was always late at night after she supposed we were all asleep. She missed him desperately, and it couldn’t have been easy with seven children.”

“Seven?” Graham asked. “I thought there were eight of you.”

“Tilly wasn’t yet born,” she informed him. “Mother must have been about eight months along.”

Good God, she thought she heard him breathe. Good God, indeed. She had no idea how her mother had managed.

“He was stung by a bee,” she continued. “Can you imagine?” A small sigh escaped her lips as she looked around the room. It always left her a little melancholy to speak about her father, but now, talking about him to a virtual stranger in a room filled with portraits of dead people, she wanted to leave. Immediately. 

“May I see your greenhouse?” she asked abruptly, turning back to face him.

“Now?” he asked, his voice filled with surprise.

Well, she shouldn’t have been surprised; it was dark outside, after all. “In the morning then, when we’ll be able to see.”

A bemused yet indulgent smile was on his lips. “We can go now,” he said. “The moon is full and we’ll take a lantern.”

She returned his smile. “If you’re sure you don’t mind, I’d like that very much.”

He held out his elbow to her, and she took it, allowing him to lead her out into the night.

“It’s so warm!” she exclaimed some minutes later as he shut the door of the greenhouse behind them.

“It’s usually warmer than this,” he said. “The glass traps the heat from the sun to warm the air, allowing plants native to much warmer climes to grow and thrive, and aside from today, it’s been rather overcast lately.”

Graham often toiled in his greenhouse at night when he couldn’t sleep. Even during the day, he rarely had anyone with him, preferring to work alone, but now he found that he was seeing the greenhouse through Ruby’s eyes, and it was mesmerizing. The moonlight fell on the leaves and fronds of the plants he knew and loved so well, creating an otherworldly hush that was almost indescribable. During the day, the greenhouse wasn’t that different from almost any wooded place in England, but under the light of the moon, it was enchanting and mysterious, as if he moved his head quickly enough, he might catch a glimpse of a fairy, leaving a trail of magic in her wake. 

“What is this?” she asked, looking at a row of pots on his workbench.

His smile was ridiculously wide, exceptionally pleased that she seemed truly curious about his work. Most people feigned interest and looked for a quick escape.

“It’s an experiment I’m working on with peas,” he informed her.

“The kind we eat?”

He nodded. “I’ve been trying to develop a strain that will grow fatter in the pod.”

“Really!” she exclaimed, her eyebrows rising in surprise. “I had no idea that could be done.”

He shrugged. “I have no idea if it can be done, either. I’ve been trying for a year.”

“With no success? How very frustrating!”

“I’ve had some success,” he admitted. “Just not as much as I’d like.”

“I tried to grow roses one year,” she said. “They all died.”

“Roses are not easy to cultivate.”

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. “You have a lot of roses.”

“I also have a gardener,” he informed her amusedly.

“A botanist with a gardener?”

He shrugged. “It’s no different than a dressmaker with a seamstress.”

She considered that for a moment before nodding decisively and turning away from him, heading deeper into the greenhouse and scolding him for not keeping up with her with the lantern.

“You’re a bit bossy, this evening,” he said, an amused smile on his lips.

She smirked back at him. “I prefer the term ‘managing.’”

“A managing type of female, huh?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t deduce as much from my letters.” She tossed the words over her shoulder to him flirtatiously and he responded in kind.

“Why do you think I invited you?” He continued to follow her until she came to an abrupt stop and turned to him.

“You want someone to manage your life?” she asked, a bit breathlessly, he thought. He wanted someone to manage his children, but he didn’t think now was a good time to bring them up. Not when she was looking at him like that. Like she wanted…

Like she wanted to be kissed.

“May I kiss you?” he whispered. He would have stopped if she’d shown any hesitation, but her gorgeous green eyes were lit by the moon and there was nothing but wonder and acceptance and desire in them. “May I?” he asked again.

She nodded, a tiny, but sure thing. He lowered his head and simply brushed his lips against hers, the way one should kiss a woman one thought about marrying. But then her arms stole around him and her fingers brushed his neck, and he was lost.

He wrapped his arms around her and drew her closer, closer, closer, until her body fully lined up with his. His tongue touched the seam of her lips and she opened, allowing him full access to explore all the hidden depths of her mouth, and he took full advantage, drawing soft mewling sounds from her that he swallowed with more kisses. 

But it wasn’t enough. 

He wanted to feel her. All of her. His hands ran up and down her back, until one boldly reached the curve of her bottom. He pressed her against him, not caring that she’d be able to clearly feel his desire for her. It had been so long, so damned long, and she was so soft and responsive in his arms, hesitantly at first, but then answering his passion with her own. She gasped, her head falling back and Graham took the invitation to pepper her jaw and the long line of her neck with his ardor. 

He’d begun working his way down, over her collarbone toward the neckline of the gown she wore when she pulled away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out, her hands flying to where he’d last kissed her.

“I’m not,” he said matter-of-factly.

Her eyes widened at his bluntness. But he’d never been particularly good with words and it was probably better that she learned this now.

“It… it was a figure of speech,” she stammered.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said I was sorry,” she repeated, shrugging one shoulder, her eyes wide and guileless, confusing him further. “It was a figure of speech. I’m not really.”

She sounded rather flustered to his ears, and he couldn’t help the surge of male pride that he’d brought her to this state.

“It’s something one might say to fill the silence,” she continued. 

Graham was beginning to realize that Ruby didn’t like silence. He kissed her again. “You know, silence is sometimes a good thing.”

Her mouth dropped open slightly in surprise. “Are you saying I talk too much?”

He shrugged, the corner of his lips lifted in a smirk, having much too much fun teasing her.

“I’ll have you know, I have been much quieter here than I normally am,” she informed him haughtily.

He wrapped his arms around her again and smiled. “We need a bit of noise around here.”

~*~*~

Ruby woke the next morning feeling wonderful. As if she was still wrapped up in a dream. A dream of a completely unexpected kiss.

A dream of enjoying a completely unexpected kiss far more than she thought she would.

Her stomach reminded her of the lateness of the hour and she decided to make her way down to the breakfast room. She had no idea if Sir Graham would be there or not. Was he the kind of man who rose with the sun? Or did he prefer to lay abed until noon? It seemed rather odd that she didn’t know something like this about a man she was seriously contemplating marrying.

And if he was there - waiting for her to join him to break their fast together - what would she say to him? What did one say to a man who’d licked one’s neck as if it were a delectable frozen treat? It was quite beyond scandalous.

What if she got there and could barely get out a good morning? He’d surely find that very amusing after his teasing her last night. It nearly made her laugh out loud. Ruby Jones - who could carry on a conversation about anything and nothing, and frequently did - not knowing what she was going to say to Sir Graham Humbert when next she saw him.

Of course, he had kissed her, and that changed everything.

Once dressed, she crossed the room, ready to leave, making sure her door was still tightly shut. She didn’t think the twins would try the same trick twice, but she wasn’t willing to place a large amount of trust in the thought. Honestly, after using a fish, she expected they were devising a more slimy or smelly retribution.

Humming softly to herself, she emerged into the hallway and headed toward the stairs. She was in a good mood since the sun had been peeking out from behind the clouds, making the day seem filled with promise…

“OH!”

The cry ripped out of her as she plunged forward, her foot caught back behind her, wrapped in something strung between two pieces of furniture. She had no chance to try and maintain her balance. She’d been walking quickly, as she was wont to do, and never saw the string reaching across the hall until it was too late. She didn’t even have the time to break her fall with her hands.

Tears burned her eyes. Her chin - dear God, her chin - her chin felt like it was on fire. She’d just been able to turn her head to the side before she landed, but the side of her face had taken the brunt of the fall, and Ruby couldn’t keep the incoherent whimpers of severe pain inside. She waited for the pain to fade, like it did when one stubbed one’s toe. The pain would take your breath away for a moment, but then would fade until it was nothing more than a dull ache. But the pain was not fading at all. Her chin, the side of her face, her elbow, hip, and knee were such a cacophony of agony, that she could do nothing more than lie there until she could draw breath without wanting to scream in anguish.

She felt as if she’d been beaten.

“Ruby!”

Graham. She couldn’t even look up, still trying to control her breathing and not willing to move from her curled up position.

“Ruby, my God!” he cried, taking the last few steps in one giant stride until he reached her side. “What happened?”

“I fell.” She tried not to whimper, she truly did, but it came out anyway.

His actions full of tenderness, he pulled her hand away from her face. The words that fell from his lips once he got a good look at it were not words Ruby was accustomed to hearing.

“You need a piece of meat on that,” he said grimly. 

“Is it very bruised?”

He nodded. “You may have a blackened eye as well; it’s too soon to tell.” She tried to smile, but it was just too painful to manage. “Does it hurt very badly?” he asked softly.

She nodded, a single tear finally falling down her cheek. It reminded her of a time when she was very small and fell out of a tree. She’d sprained her ankle quite badly, but hadn’t cried until she got home to her mother.

Graham touched her cheek gingerly, but pulled away with a scowl on his face when she winced. “What happened?” he asked again.

And of course she knew exactly what had happened. The twins had strung a piece of string across the hallway for her to trip over. But one look at Graham’s face and she almost considered holding her tongue. She didn’t think they meant to cause quite so much harm.

But she didn’t need to say a single word. He’d obviously already seen the piece of string, and without taking his eyes off of hers, he’d twisted it around his pointer finger until it snapped in two. He didn’t seem aware of it - his strength, nor the strength of his anger.

“Sir Graham,” she whispered, but it was clear he didn’t hear her.

“Nicholas! Ava!” he bellowed.

“I’m sure they didn’t mean to injure me,” Ruby tried, quite sure that any punishment coming from their father while he was in this state would be far more painful for them than what she’d mete out.

“I don’t care what they meant!” he snapped. “Look how close to the stairs you were! What if you’d fallen down them?��

The thought hadn’t occurred to her, and now that she really looked, she had fallen dangerously close to them.

“They must answer for this.” His voice was low, and shaking with rage.

“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. And she would. In a few days. The agony was finally starting to fade, but she still cried out softly when Graham picked her up in his arms.

“You’re going straight to bed,” he bit out. She offered no disagreement. 

A maid arrived, a dismayed gasp escaping her when she saw Ruby’s bruised face. “Get me something for this,” Graham ordered. “A piece of meat, anything.” She nodded and quickly disappeared.

“Does anything else hurt?” he asked, as he laid her on top of the coverlet.

“My elbow. Hip. And knee,” she admitted.

“Do you think anything is broken?”

“Oh, no!” she assured him quickly, shaking her head as well. “I’m sure…”

“I’ll need to check anyway,” he interrupted her, cradling her arm in his hands as he gently examined it.

“Sir Graham!” she protested.

“My children nearly killed you,” he growled, but with no real heat in it. “I think we can dispose of the Sir.” He finished his examination and moved to the door of her bedchamber, his stride powerful and full of purpose. “Get me the twins immediately,” he barked to some servant who must have been hovering in the hall. She couldn’t imagine they hadn’t heard his earlier summons, but she also didn’t blame them for attempting to delay judgment day at the hands of their father.

“Graham, please,” she tried again. “Leave them to me. I was the injured party…”

“They are my children and I will punish them,” Graham said grimly. “God knows, it’s long overdue. They hurt you and that is unacceptable.” He leaned back against the wall next to her bed and raised his eyes to the ceiling. “If I had…” He stopped and tried again. “If I hadn’t…” He blew out a frustrated breath and that was when Ruby knew. 

The rage in his voice, the shaking in his hands and body, wasn't directed at the twins. Not entirely anyway. 

He didn’t blame them.

He blamed himself.

Some minutes later - as the twins were ushered into the room by their nursemaid, half dragged and half pushed no doubt, if the heaviness of their gait was any indication - Graham maintained his position next to Ruby’s bed, deathly afraid that if he came any closer to his progeny, he’d beat them within an inch of their lives.

And when he was done, he wouldn’t regret his actions.

So he simply crossed his arms and glared at the children, letting them squirm under his clear anger and condemnation, while he tried to figure out what the hell to say to them.

Finally, Nicolas spoke, his voice trembling. “Father?”

Graham took a deep breath, and still not moving from his position, said the only thing he could think of. The only thing that bore mentioning at the present moment.

“Do you see Miss Jones?”

They both nodded, though they didn’t lift their gazes to where she lay on the bed.

“Look at her!” he barked.

They both jumped slightly, and then raised their eyes to actually look at her. From where he stood, he could see sorrow and, he hoped, remorse in their countenances, which helped him rein in his fury.

“Sir?” a servant asked from the door. 

He acknowledged her with a nod and took the piece of meat she’d brought for Ruby’s eye.

“Hungry?” he snapped at the children. When they didn’t answer, he continued. “Good, because we won’t be able to eat this now, will we?” He gently placed it over her eye and then covered it with a cloth so she wouldn’t dirty her fingers as she held it in place. Once he was done, he rose and stood in front of the children.

“Look at me,” he said, his voice still low and furious. They met his eyes and the fear he saw there made him sick, but he didn’t know how else to act. Or what else to do. They had to learn that they couldn’t continue behaving like this. They had to learn to show respect to adults. 

“We didn’t mean to hurt her,” Ava whispered.

“Oh, really?” he asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “You didn’t think she might possibly be hurt when she tripped over the string? Hmmm? Or perhaps you correctly thought that the string wouldn’t actually hurt her, but it didn’t occur to you that she might be injured when she actually fell?”

They said nothing. Graham glanced back at Ruby, who’d removed the meat from her eye and was gingerly touching her cheek. The bruising was getting worse by the minute.

“You will come with me,” he said, directing his words to the twins, and jerking his head in the direction of the door. He turned to them when he reached it to see they hadn’t taken a single step to follow him. “Now!” he barked. They finally moved and Graham prayed that he’d be able to control himself.

Once they were gone, Ruby tried not to listen, but she couldn’t stop herself from straining her ears. She didn’t know where he was taking them, but one thing was perfectly clear. They were going to be punished.

And while she agreed that it was necessary, what they’d done was inexcusable, she found herself anxious on their behalf. It reminded her of when Nicholas asked if she was going to hit them after he’d pushed her the day before. As if he’d been hit before. Surely Sir Graham didn’t… No, it was impossible. It was one thing to administer a spanking at a time like this, it was another thing entirely to habitually strike children.

She couldn’t possibly be that poor a judge of character. She’d spent time with the man. Allowed him to kiss her. Even kissed him back. She would have been able to sense if there was an inner streak of cruelty within him that would cause him to beat his children.

Shortly thereafter, Nicholas and then Ava entered her bedchamber again, their father bringing up the rear for the sole purpose, she was sure, of making sure their steps exceeded that of a tortoise. They were somber faced and red-eyed, and Graham looked just as grim as they did. 

They shuffled over to Ruby’s bed and she turned to face them. 

“We’re sorry, Miss Jones,” they mumbled in unison.

“Louder,” Graham said sharply.

“We’re sorry, Miss Jones,” they obeyed quickly.

Ruby nodded and tried to give them a small smile.

“It won’t happen again,” Ava added.

“I’m certainly glad to hear that,” Ruby replied. Graham cleared his throat, loudly.

“Father says we have to make it up to you,” Nicholas said.

“Oh…” Ruby wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that.

“Do you like sweets?” Ava asked, in an apparent burst of inspiration.

“Uh, yes, I do,” Ruby replied. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“I have a bag of lemon drops,” Ava informed her. “I’ve been saving them for months. You can have them.”

Ruby sighed internally. There was something quite wrong here in the lives of these children. She had enough nieces and nephews to know, and her own upbringing as well to reference, what happy children looked like. And these children before her were anything but happy. She felt her heart clench in her chest in compassion for them.

“That’s alright, Ava,” she said softly. “You may keep your lemon drops.”

“But Father says we have to give you something,” she said, casting a fearful glance at Graham.

Ruby was about to say it wasn’t necessary, but then she realized it was. Not only because Graham had obviously insisted upon it, and she wasn’t about to undermine his authority in front of them, but because they also needed to understand what it meant to make amends.

“Very well,” she conceded, “You may give me an afternoon.”

“An afternoon?” they parroted.

“Yes,” she said. “Once I’m feeling better, you may both give me an afternoon. After all, there is much here at Romney Hall that I know nothing about and I’m sure you two know every nook and cranny of the house and gardens. You may take me on a tour. Provided of course,” and here she looked at them as sternly as she could manage with a large steak still covering her eye, “you both promise there will be no pranks.”

Ava nodded vigorously and quickly. “No, no pranks,” she promised.

“Nicholas,” Graham growled.

“There will be no pranks that afternoon,” he mumbled. Graham grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. “Ever,” he shouted. “There will be no pranks ever! We’ll leave Miss Jones completely alone!”

“Well, not completely, I hope,” she said, shooting a glance at Graham until he released Nicholas’ collar, “since you do owe me an afternoon.”

Ava smiled softly, but Nicholas’ scowl remained firmly in place.

“You may return to the nursery, now,” Graham informed the children, and they scurried away as fast as their feet could carry them.

Ruby and Graham remained silent for nearly a full minute after the twins left them alone. Ruby felt quite drained and wasn’t sure what to say. Graham turned back toward her and swallowed hard.

“How are you?” he asked. His voice was still rather gruff, but given the entire episode, she didn’t really blame him.

“If I’m not permitted to remove the steak soon, I think I might be physically ill,” she said, honestly.

He picked up the platter it’d arrived on and Ruby placed the meat upon it, grimacing at the squelching sound it made. “I’d like to wash my face, please.”

Graham nodded. “Let me first examine your eye. Look up,” he directed, probing gently around the socket when she obeyed.

“Do you have much experience with this sort of thing?” she asked.

“A bit,” he replied. “Look right.”

“A bit?”

“I boxed at university.”

“Were you good?”

“Look left,” he said, turning her head to the side. “Good enough.”

“What does that mean?”

“Close your eye.”

“What does that mean?” she asked again.

“You’re not closing your eye.”

She closed both eyes, though with a scowl on her face. “What does it mean!?” she repeated for the third time. And though she couldn’t see his face, the smile came through in his tone when he spoke.

“Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly stubborn?” he asked.

“Oh, all the time,” she replied. “It’s my only flaw.”

“The only one, eh?” And now she could imagine his raised eyebrow.

“The only one worth commenting on.” She opened her eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’ve quite forgotten what it was. Now close your eye again, I wasn’t finished.” Ruby scowled when she caught the teasing glint in his eyes, but obeyed. “Good enough,” he continued once her eyes were shut, “means that I never had to fight. Not if I didn’t want to.”

“But you weren’t the champion,” she speculated.

“You may open your eyes now,” he said gently. She blinked a few times in surprise when she saw how close he still was. “I wasn’t the champion.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. “I didn’t care about it enough.”

“How does it look?”

“Your eye?”

She nodded.

“There’s nothing to be done to stop the bruising.”

“I didn’t think I hit my eye,” she said, pressing her fingers gently around the socket. “When I fell. I thought I hit my cheek.”

“Hitting your cheek, the blood will spread to the eye area. I can see from your face that you fell right here,” he said. His fingers oh so gently touched her cheekbone, exactly where she landed, but his touch was so light, there was no pain. 

Ruby groaned. “I’m going to look a fright for weeks.”

“Maybe not weeks,” he tried to reassure her.

She sent him an extremely dubious look, one that should have told him she knew what she was talking about. “I have brothers. I’ve seen blackened eyes. Killian had one that didn’t completely fade for two months.”

“Really?” Graham chuckled. “What happened to him?”

“Our older brother,” she informed him drily.

Graham nodded, his lips pressed together in amusement. “Say no more. I had a brother myself.”

“Beastly creatures,” she said, but her affection for them was clear from her tone.

“Your black eye probably won’t take that long to diminish,” he said, helping her from bed and over to the washbasin.

“But it might,” she said as she washed the smell from her face.

Graham nodded in agreement. “We need to get you a chaperone.”

Ruby stopped abruptly. “I’d quite forgotten.”

“I hadn’t.”

“It’s all my fault, of course,” she said, patting herself dry. “You had written in your invitation that you’d provide a chaperone, but in my haste to leave London, it didn’t occur to me that you’d need time to make the arrangements.”

Graham watched her closely and wondered if she realized just how much she’d revealed to him about her reasons for coming. It was hard to imagine someone as open, honest, and loquacious as the woman before him having secrets, but he did have to admit she’d been rather quiet about her exact reasons for coming to Gloucestershire.

She’d said she was looking for a husband. But he was starting to wonder if perhaps it had as much to do with what she was leaving behind in London as what she was looking for here.

And then the words in my haste…

What could have caused her to leave in such a hurry? 

“I sent a letter to my great-aunt yesterday morning after your arrival,” he informed her, “but she’s not the sort to leave home at the drop of a hat. She’ll need to pack and do whatever it is you ladies need to do when preparing for a journey.” He waved his hand vaguely around, and Ruby tried her best not to laugh. “I don’t expect her before Thursday. At the earliest.”

“Well, it’s only a few days, and it’s not like we’re completely alone,” she asserted. “You do have a house full of servants.”

“That may be,” he agreed, “but your reputation could be seriously compromised if this visit of yours were to get out among society.”

Ruby blew out a long breath, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Well, there’s not much I can do about it now,” she said. Then motioning to her eye, she continued. “And if I were to return now, this will have more people talking than the fact that I left to begin with.”

He nodded, acceding to her point, though his mind started shooting off in other directions entirely. Was there a reason she was so unconcerned about her reputation? He may have spent little time in society, but it’d been his experience that properly bred young ladies, no matter their age, were always concerned about their reputations.

Was it possible that Ruby’s reputation had been in tatters before she’d even arrived on his doorstep?

And more to the point, did he care?

He honestly wasn’t sure. He knew what he wanted - no, needed - in a wife, and it had very little to do with purity and chastity and all those things that society deemed important for young ladies.

He was looking for someone who could step in and manage his life and care for his children. He was quite pleased that Ruby not only appeared to be able to fill the role admirably, but that she was rather beautiful and he most undoubtedly felt a great deal of desire for her. Even if she’d been as ugly as a crone, he’d still have been willing to marry her if she could be a good mother to his children.

But if that were all true, then why did he feel no small amount of annoyance that Ruby might have had a lover?

She settled herself against the pillows, looked longingly out the window, and sighed. “Oh, look, the sun is shining again.”

“Would you like to sit in the garden?” he asked. “You haven’t eaten yet; I can have breakfast brought out to you.”

“I’d like to walk in the garden,” she groused, “but I suppose I should try to rest today.”

“More than just today,” he murmured.

“I’ll never be able to manage it,” she said. 

“You could take a book with you,” he suggested. It didn’t surprise him at all when she said she couldn’t sit still. Even injured, she was fidgety on the bed, and he couldn’t suppress a small smile.

“Will you not join me?” she asked.

“Ah…” he stammered. “I have work to do in the greenhouse today.” Her eyes reflected her disappointment, and as much as he would have loved to spend time with her in the garden, he needed to get away. Away from his swirling thoughts, conflicted feelings, and most of all the desire to crawl out of his skin over having to spank the children. He needed his hands in the dirt where the most complicated thought he’d encounter was about plants, something he did know something about. 

Every fortnight, it seemed, they did something that warranted punishment. He hated having to do it. To the depths of his being. But what else was he supposed to do when they behaved this badly? He could justify to himself brushing aside small things, but when they’d glued their last governess’ hair to the pillow while she slept, how on earth was he supposed to brush that aside? Or when they’d gotten into his greenhouse and broken an entire shelf of terra cotta pots? They’d claimed it was an accident, but Graham knew better, and from their countenances, they didn’t even truly think he’d believe them.

So he punished them the only way he knew how, if he punished them at all - though, to this point, he’d only used his hand. More often than not, he was so overwhelmed at the memories of his father’s brand of discipline and horrified at the way his hand itched to swat them on their behinds that he’d simply stumble away, a trembling and sweating mess.

He knew he was too lenient with them. They weren’t getting any better, after all. He knew he needed to be more stern with them, but the memory of what he’d almost done after the episode with their governess was enough to make him want to retch. He’d been so furious, so blindingly angry, that before he even realized it, he’d gone out to the stable and grabbed a whip. That was all it took for him to realize what he’d done and make him drop it in horror. Graham had fled to his greenhouse, shaking with disgust and hating himself for what he’d almost done.

But not only that. Hating himself for what he couldn’t do. 

Make his children better people.

He didn’t know how to be a father to them. Maybe he just wasn’t suited to the task. Perhaps there were men out there who just naturally knew how to teach, how to mold children, but Graham certainly wasn’t one of them. Perhaps one needed a good father in order to be one. But if that was the case, Graham had been doomed from birth. 

And now, here he was, pinning all his hopes on Miss Ruby Jones. Perhaps he wouldn’t feel so guilty about being a miserable father to them if he could provide them with a good mother. 

But nothing was ever as simple as one might want and Miss Ruby Jones was proof positive of that. He’d never expected to want her. And when he came up the stairs and found her on the floor, his first thought hadn’t been anger at his children, it had been terror for her. For her wellbeing. As well as, if he was being brutally honest, terror that they might have convinced her to leave.

With the glue incident, his first emotion had been rage. With Ruby, he spared barely a thought to the twins until he’d assured himself of her well being. He hadn’t wanted to care about her, and now that he did, he didn’t know what to do with himself. So while a morning in the garden with her sounded lovely, he had to get away for a while. He had to try and bring his chaotic thoughts and feelings into some semblance of order. And if that made him a coward, then so be it.

~*~*~

Ruby spent the entire day in the garden on what she was sure was the most comfortable chaise lounge she’d ever had the pleasure to sit. It must have come from Italy, because in her experience, neither England nor France knew how to make comfortable furniture. Not that she normally spent much time pondering furniture makers, but being left alone in the gardens did provide her with an abundance of time and blessed little else to ponder.

Well, perhaps beside the fact that Sir Graham Humbert had to be the most ill-mannered beast on the planet, leaving her alone after his two little monsters - whom he hadn’t even disclosed the existence of in his correspondence - left her with a blackened eye. 

It was a perfect day. The sun was shining, the sky was the deepest shade of blue, a light breeze was blowing, and Ruby had not a thing to occupy her thoughts.

She had never been so bored in her entire life.

It just wasn’t in her nature to sit still and watch the clouds roll by. She would be much happier doing something - walking through the gardens, or at the very least having someone to talk to, rather than just sitting here like a bump on a log. If she had company, then perhaps the clouds would be more interesting. They could discuss the shapes they saw in them.

But no, he’d left her quite on her own. She could see him out there in his greenhouse from where she sat, but while she’d really like nothing better than to join him - his plants must be more interesting than clouds - she refused to seek him out. Not after the way he’d departed so abruptly earlier. She’d thought they were getting along rather well, but then he’d suddenly grown distant and irritable and made up a terrible excuse about having to work in the greenhouse. He’d all but run away from her.

Odious man.

She picked up the book she’d chosen from the library and held it in front of her face, determined to actually read it this time. Of course, that was what she said the previous four times she’d picked up the book. 

Blast it all. 

The Botany of Ferns? What exactly had she been thinking when she pulled it off the shelf? Well, the clear answer to that question was, she hadn’t been. Ruby rolled her eyes at herself. She should have at least looked for a novel to read. The library was quite extensive and she was sure she could have found something more enjoyable than this thing. And what was worse, if, for some reason, Sir Graham came back and found her reading it, he’d think she was wanting to learn more about him and his interests.

This was ridiculous. She slammed the book closed and back down on the side table. She got up and took a few steps to test the tenderness of her hip, a satisfied and rather smug smile lifting her lips when she realized her hip was causing her no more than mild discomfort. She walked all the way to a large rosebush some ways ahead and bent over to see if they had a scent yet. The buds were still closed, but there was always the chance…

“What the devil are you doing?”

Ruby just managed to avoid falling into the bush in surprise. “Sir Graham!” she exclaimed. “I was just…”

“You were supposed to be sitting down,” he interrupted.

“I was sitting down.”

“You were supposed to stay sitting down.”

The truth would make a superb explanation, she decided quickly. 

“I was bored.”

“Did you not get a book to read from the library, like I invited you to do?”

She speared him with a glance and Graham could feel a flush rising on his skin. 

“You said that you could have breakfast sent out to me,” she began, her temper rising along with her words, “and suggested that I could enjoy a book in the garden, which I wrongly assumed meant that you’d have something I’d enjoy reading included on the tray.”

Blast, he had said that, hadn’t he? He’d been in such a hurry to get away, he’d quite forgotten. The flush reached his face. 

“Allow me to apologize and correct that oversight, then,” he replied in a remarkable display of humility. Ruby wasn’t used to men ever admitting to a mistake, however unintended. “But you should remain seated.”

Ruby patted her hip. “I am truly perfectly fine. It hardly hurts at all.”

His expression was still irritable, but even with filthy hands and face, there was something very striking about him. Elemental, almost. Ruby’s mouth dropped open as a shiver of awareness worked its way over her.

“I can’t work if I’m worrying about you,” he groused.

“Then don’t work.” The solution seemed perfectly logical to her.

“I’m in the middle of something.”

“Then I’ll accompany you,” she said lightly, brushing by him on her way to the greenhouse. Really, how did he expect them to see if they would suit if they didn’t spend any time together?

“Miss Jones,” he bit out, “you cannot…”

“Couldn’t you use the help?” she asked, turning back toward him.

“No.”

“Sir Graham,” she snapped, deciding on a different tact. “Are you the same man you were last night?”

“I beg your pardon?” The expression on his face suggested that he thought she’d lost her mind.

“The man I spent the evening with last night,” she began, only just restraining herself from crossing her arms in her annoyance. “The one with whom I shared a very pleasant meal, then toured the house and greenhouse. The man who actually spoke to me, and seemed to enjoy my company.”

He shook his head at her words, bringing himself out of his haze of confusion. “I do enjoy your company,” he replied, utterly befuddled at her seemingly random tirade.

“Then why,” she asked, “have I been sitting alone in the garden for the last three hours?”

“It hasn’t been three hours.”

“It doesn’t matter how long…”

“It’s been forty-five minutes,” he interrupted.

That silenced her for just a moment. She stood there staring at him, her lips pressed together in a straight line, before opening them to speak again.

“Well…” She lost her words after that and Graham decided he’d better say something to save her from any more embarrassment her countenance told him she was swimming in.

“Miss Jones.” He tried not to snap, truly he did, but was extremely doubtful he’d succeeded. “As you might imagine, the incident with the children this morning has left me in rather a foul mood, and I sought to spare you my company, such as it is.”

“I see,” she said, rather meekly in his opinion.

“Good,” he bit out. 

But then she straightened up and looked him directly in the eye, lifting her chin just slightly. “In that case, I’ll just leave you to your work.” Then she had the audacity to wave him off as if he were nothing more than a buzzing fly, disturbing the peacefulness of the garden.

“And what will you be doing?” he asked.

“I will go for a walk,” she informed him, haughtily.

“You will not go for a walk,” he growled.

Almost, Ruby thought, as if he cared about her.

“Sir Graham,” she began, “I assure you, I am perfectly fine. I shall remain out of your way, which is all that really matters, is it not?” A vein in his temple began to pulse, and Ruby found entirely too much pleasure in the fact. She turned on her heel and began to walk to another area of the garden. 

“Stop this instant!” Graham exclaimed. “You may not go for a walk!”

Ruby stopped and turned to him, about to ask if he intended to tie her down to stop her, but shut her mouth just as quickly when it occurred to her that he might heartily approve the suggestion. 

“Sir Graham,” she said, “I fail to see… OH!” she exclaimed when he scooped her up in his arms, mumbling something about stubborn and foolish women, marched over to the chaise, and dropped her unceremoniously upon it.

“Stay there,” he ordered.

She sputtered indignantly, almost at a loss of what to say after his unbelievable display of arrogance. “You can’t just…”

“Good God, woman! You would try the patience of a saint!”

She glared at him.

He huffed in frustration. “What would it take to keep you from moving from this spot?”

She lifted her chin at him before answering. “I can’t think of a single thing,” she said honestly.

“Fine,” he said. “Hike all over the countryside, if it pleases you. Swim to France.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “From Gloucestershire?”

“If anyone could figure out a way to do it, it would be you, Miss Jones. Good day.” Then he turned on his heel and left her exactly where she’d started from.

~*~*~

Graham sat at supper that evening utterly dejected and lonely. One would have thought that eating alone was commonplace for him after all the years married to Jacinda, but in the last day and a half, he’d become used to Ruby’s presence and now, he missed her. If he wasn’t already painfully aware of how badly he’d handled the day's situations, her short missive informing him she intended to take supper in her room this evening made it abundantly clear. Considering the fact she’d been complaining about the lack of his company earlier, her refusal to join him was a stark insult, indeed, and one that the servants were obviously aware of. Graham sighed. He hated being the subject of the servants' gossip. 

He made his way through all the courses, hoping she might change her mind and come down. It was certainly doubtful, given her stubborn streak, but he could always hope. When it became abundantly clear it was a futile hope, he considered going up to her. But that would have been extremely inappropriate, even out here in the country. Besides the fact that seeking her out after his behavior this morning was tantamount to eating crow.

Which wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world, considering he’d already decided he was willing to beg her to stay and be a mother to his children, if necessary. But wanting to woo a woman didn’t mean that he knew how to do it.

George had always been the one to charm and woo the ladies. He always knew what to say and how to act. He wouldn’t have cared about being the subject of the servants’ gossip. Graham had always been the quieter one, the studious one, the awkward one when compared to his older brother. Much less suited to being a father and lord of the manor. He’d always planned on leaving Romney Hall and never looking back, at least while his father was alive. George was to have married and had half a dozen perfect children and Graham would have been the somewhat strange but still fun uncle, working on his experiments at Cambridge.

But all of that changed on a battlefield in Belgium. England may have won the war, but it was blessed little comfort when his father dragged him home, determined to mold him into a suitable heir. Determined to mold him into George, who’d been his favorite.

And then he’d died. Right there in front of Graham. In the middle of a screaming, raging fit, his heart had given out on him. 

And Graham had become Sir Graham, with all the rights and responsibilities of a baronet. Rights and responsibilities he’d never, ever wanted.

He loved his children more than life itself, so he guessed he could say it’d turned out alright in the end, but he still felt like he was failing. Romney Hall was doing well. As a result of the agricultural techniques he’d introduced in the fields of the estate, they were turning a profit for the first time since… Well, he wasn’t sure exactly. They’d certainly never turned a profit in the years his father was lord of the estate.

But the fields weren’t nearly as important as the children. They were flesh and blood and would someday grow up, and with how badly behaved they were now, he was terrified of what the future would hold for them if something wasn’t  done soon. Which was why he was so desperate for Ruby to stay and marry him. 

He couldn’t continue to fail his children the way he had been since they were born really, but especially since Jacinda died. He had no idea how to handle them. 

Except the night before, with the fish incident. For the first time, he’d handled Ava exactly right. Ruby’s presence had calmed him in a way that he never would have believed, if he hadn’t experienced it himself.

That was why he couldn’t seek her out this evening. So he couldn’t muck it up any more than he already had.

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing! I'd love to know what you think!

[avaistryingtheirbest]

Pinned Post I Guess

Hi! I’m Ava!!

Pronouns: she/he/they but idrc what you use lol

19!, birthday is on April 22nd

Current Interests:

Wordgirl (show)

Night at the Museum (movie series)

Roller coasters (SFOT is my home park!)

Jellystone! (show)

Willy’s Wonderland (movie)

Other Interests:

Spirit Halloween (store)

Jurassic Park/World (movie series)

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (web series/show)

Dog Man (comic/movie)

9 (movie)

Fun Facts About Me:

I’m left handed!

I have collected 7 Halloween animatronics, 6 of which are from Spirit Halloween. I also have had yard haunts every Halloween since 2019!

I have 3 cats: Trixie, Patch, and Katniss

My birthday is actually on Earth Day, unlike some characters (cough cough Eileen from Wordgirl)

I’m half Filipino and Texan (yeehaw!)

My favorite music artists/bands are Blue October and CAKE

Thanks for visiting! Have a great day!

[solarclaw]

Alright here's what I got, unorganized but will try to give a little hint at what's inside? Not a summary, just general personal feel for 'em. I read a bit of a wide variety

Oh and most, if not all of these, are on AO3 where I get most of my AvA/M fanfic content, so some of these may not be available unless you have an account there. Also, probably a lot of these will have Grapeduo in them as that's fairly popular when Green is a big focus. Most of these are One Shots.

~~~~~

"warmth of a broken melody" series -shiaa_cooki: Angst, angst, angst, trigger warning: not actual action but thoughts still bad, One-shots

"Always There." -SamBot: Comfort after nightmare. No dialogue

"Sing to the Heavens (I Couldn't Quite Reach Them)" -Little Star (Selendred): Neat hc. No dialogue

"A 'Working' Rocket" -LeenaFreeBird: More a drabble than a One-Shot. Not exactly Green-centric, but Green's POV in the last half. Fun and probably definitely happened in canon

"So What Happened?" -The_Outlandish_Poisoner: A bit more Purple than Green-centric, but focus is still both. They talk about the aftermath of ep30

"Grape" -Solaria143_writes: Grapeduo, Grapeduo, Grapeduo. What it says on the tin. Very cute <3

"like a moth in the night" -Anonymous: Set after ep30, working on NOT adrenaline-fueled and/or exhaustion-fueled reconciliation. I raged at the end. One-shot

"ruined. all ruined." -anonnyk: Aftermath of ep35. My comfort from THAT ep and I desperately hc for my won peace of mind. Part of a general AvA/M one-shot series, HIGHLY recommend the others

"Garden of Memories" -RainyStorm: Aftermath of ep34. Probably more Blue-centric than Green? Blue's POV so that might be why. Solid philosophical/life advice to apply to rl imo

"I Love You So" -Hans_TheVillain: Grapeduo, title obvious summarization of fic itself lol. Cute drabble

"Simply's Random Oneshot and au Collection" -SimplyChestnut: Exactly what it says on the tin. 1st chapter sickfic. Isn't exactly Green-centric? but our fav musician ends up taking care of all the others so *shrugs*

"Day Out" -Ms_Madnezz: Grapeduo. Date one-shot. VERY cute fluff

"After the Concert" -RoseDragon529: Immediate aftermath of ep35. My poor musician :(

"Little Performer" -Serial_Designation_X (Melodia_Melodia): Longfic, multichapters. VERY well done, mystery and intrigue. Quite the bit of hc here, some I agree with. Overdue result of ep35 + Green being the punching bag. More to come!

"Five Steps to (Almost) Becoming a Bad Guy" -Ariyasayira: Aftermath of ep35. Multichapters, incomplete. Give this Stick so much LONG overdue comfort (working on that)

"Duet" -Anonymous: Immediate aftermath of ep35. One-shot. Grapeduo, but can be read as platonic. No dialogue.

"Green's early birthday gifts" -CinnamonStick (Melodia_Melodia): One-shot series. Green is a creative genius little GREMLIN. Fun times! >:3 <--literally Green's face through most of these

"Fallout (Green x Purple)" -VIo_FANAT1C: Grapeduo, Grapeduo, Grapeduo, Grapeduo~ One-shot immediate aftermath of ep35. Confessions and comforts

"Pampered Pride" -AnaMouse: Longfic, Multichapters, Incomplete. Immediate aftermath of ep35, working on that comfort. As said in its own summary: "Endgame polysticks with focus on Green!"

"Rhapsody in Green" -CrystalizedCryolite (oh hey, they commented on your post too): Longfic, Multichapters. Aftermath of ep35, working on that comfort & emotional/psychological recovery. Grapeduo not the focus but appreciated (got to help with researching ice cream flavors at least)

"Color Me Cacophony" -Tonoto (BonniesBand): Immediate aftermath of ep35. Seems like One-shot, but open ended and author needs visible interest in their 1st AvA/M fic to continue.

"Sick Voice" -@commonstick14 Surprise! A Green-centric comic! From Tumblr! Short story, cute OC. Care for the comfort character. Aftermath of ep35. I reject THAT ending and substitute with my imagination!

~~~~~

Alright, that's all of 'em! Er, at least the ones that I actually saved to Reading list (I read like...98% of fanfics on phone so Reading list instead of Bookmarks). There's probably more that I didn't add since it's not to my personal tastes or hurt me [emotionally] more than I would like to save for a reread. Or it's listed under an AUTHOR I added to my lists but I didn't separate them out to add here individually. I am so tired....

But yes, I have a lot more fics in my Reading List. A LOT more (and not just in AvA/M...). I really need to get all that organized some day...Anyways, if you're interested in more AvA/M fics (or other fics in general since I tend to read a somewhat wide variety of muses), message me or something? I don't know how Tumblr really works since I've never really used it outside of viewing, liking, reblogging, and MAYBE actually posting something if I'm confident & motivated enough.

I'm gonna go pass out now......darn Olympics being on the other side of the world...

More green centric stories pretty please send me green centric stories

[astro-b-o-y-d]

#Me with my DR7#I have SO MANY IDEAS; SO MANY TIDBITS OF INFORMATION ABOUT THEM #Did you know Hitomi's name meaning is 'pupil of the eye' or just 'pupil' or 'eye'? #...I absolutely did that as a bit of fun with how she ends up a Bill Cipher stan #Ryuji's name comes from the Persona character; I do not Persona but that boy is my SON #Ishida comes from the combination of his two inspirations' last names; Owada and Ishimaru #Katsuo literally picked his name because it means 'victory; hero; manly' #(He's transmasc if that explains it) #I don't think Honoka and Mio's names had any specific little easter eggs #I just like how they sounded #Ava...well her full name is a play on the word Avatar #Why? Spoilers #Ryuji loves rhythm games; especially ones like DDR or ones that require him to move his hands #Honoka's a fan of gimmicky mystery shops; and has a taxidermied possum in her room that she got from one #She's also fond of mushrooms (as evidenced by her skirt)#That might also have a significant role in her and her brother's backstory #Ishida has two dads and the very BIG personalities that came from them #He's all about extreme sports stunts but also safety is his number one concern #To the point where he tends to take it too far and WILL slam a helmet on your head if you look like you're doing something dangerous-#-without safety gear #His preferred mode of transportation is his trusty electric scooter #Katsuo got into his school as the Ultimate Tennis Player but he was only enlisted as that due to his mother #In actuality; his love and preferred career choice is in robotics #He's also quite fond of horror movies #Hitomi was raised as an orphan in a two-bit circus and developed her talents as a surgeon by stitching the performers-#-back together after dangerous stunts #It was there she also developed a love for anomalies and oddities (hence the Bill Cipher stanning) #I feel like I'm almost out of tags so I'll move this to a new post

Slamming all of this in one post and continuing it because I got a LOT more to say

Mio has severe social anxiety, but surprisingly no anxiety about performing in front of people. She prefers to let her dancing do the talking for her.

She also LOVES super cute things, like plushies and dollhouses. She knows they’re a bit juvenile but they’re just so CUTE

I also lied about her name; it means beautiful or cherry. She is very beautiful, but the cherry part is a reference to Sakura from DR1. She was initially going to be similar to her in personality, but I decided against it due to how the writing mishandled Sakura a lot.

Ava’s birthday is February 14th, and she usually gives out homemade baked goods to other people to celebrate the holiday, rather than the other way around.

She started doing this as a kid, because she had no friends and everyone would forget her birthday due to it falling on Valentine’s Day. So she took to trying to make other people happy by giving them gifts instead.

She also loves cooking/baking shows, and also has a deep loathing for fondant.

Circling back to Ryuji, but he has a whole collection of otamatones and they all have different names.

Between him and Honoka, she’s the oldest by a few minutes. This doesn’t matter much to her personally, but Ryuji always jumps to her defense whenever someone asks who the older twin is.

Also another fun fact about Katsuo’s name; the last name Matsuda comes from the Death Note character of the same name.

Ishida’s personality is very reminiscent of Mr. Poolcheck’s from Gravity Falls, in terms of intensity. He also happens to be my voiceclaim for Ishida.

In terms of orientations, the group is as follows: -Ryuji: Bi -Honoka: Aroace -Mio: Lesbian -Ava: Lesbian -Katsuo: Gay -Ishida: Gay -Hitomi: Aroace

I love them all so SO much, and I’m so excited to write them in a story (I RP them already but I’m still excited!)

[the-mostdiabolik-of-lovers]

Hello Ava, i've been following you for a little bit but i've already stalked most of your blog, your posts are always perfect!!!! and I don't mean to be nosy but, is it true your birthday is on the 7th of january?? I wish I had started following you much sooner so I could have sent you something nice on the day. I hope it was an amazing birthday 💕💕💕

Ava: Hello there, anon. Thank you so much for such kind words, you’re very sweet. Yes, my birthday was on the 7th of Jan, but admittedly, it was probably the worst one I’ve experienced (especially as it was a milestone birthday). Small vent below the cut ^^;;

Important people in my life forgot/didn’t make the effort (two minutes of their day) to wish me happy birthday on the actual date, was faced with a break-up level talk the day after, didn’t get to celebrate with people who are special to me... It was rough, but I appreciate your kind words. ♡

[crystalartsandanimation]

💖 Welcome 💖

Basic Information:

Hello!

My name is crystalartsandanimation, or Crystal for short. I'm a 20+-year-old girl who leads different lives both in the outside world and in the media, even fandoms. Welcome to my blog!

Full Name: crystalartsandanimation

Alias: Crystal

Other Nicknames: Any nickname is fine with me, I'm not too picky. :)

Age: 20+ years old

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She / Her

About This Blog:

The concept of this blog... well... it's basically a mix of everything.

Part of it is whatever catches my interest, whether it be nature, food, quotes, clothing, culture, jewelry... you name it. And if there is anything important to share, I'll make sure to post it as well.

Another part of it is related to part of my name: artsandanimation. Music, artworks, fanfictions, animations... anything related to art in general. Being in the arts is my favorite hobby, and I'm always intrigued by what everyone comes up with. I actually have some artworks I made myself (more on that later).

The last part is fandom-related. Currently, my obsession is Animator vs. Animation, but I'm multi-fandom. I am floating from place to place, to see what I can find, because I definitely have a habit of either joining or rejoining fandoms late in the game and missing all the fun taking place. Overall, I live under a rock.

In regards to posts, they'll vary from art to screenshots to reblogs and thoughts (but mostly reblogs).

Artworks:

For any artworks I create, they'll be under the tag link crystalangel artworks (don't ask me how I thought of the first part of the tag, it just randomly came up).

As time passes, it'll mostly be Animator vs. Animation-related (at this point, I might consider creating a masterpost for this particular series), but there will be additional creations as well. Despite me being a self-taught amateur artist at best, I hope you are able to find a little enjoyment in them.

Contact:

If you ever want to contact me, my asks are open, or you can send me a message. I'm pretty shy when it comes to meeting new people, but once I get comfortable, I can be pretty outgoing and friendly, but also weird and crazy occasionally.

I also have a Discord account if you're comfortable using it instead. Just ask permission to friend or DM me.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! Have a lovely day / night! 💖

Oh! Also...

🏳️‍🌈This blog supports LGBTQ+ inclusion!🏳️‍🌈

If you spread hate in any way whatsoever (racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.), you will be blocked. Consider yourself warned.

List of Creations:

Animator vs. Animation:

AvA / AvM Community:

AvA Gift Exchange 2022

AvA / AvM Tributes:

On This Day...:

2022:

Happy Birthday, Victim, and Happy 16th Anniversary to the Animator vs. Animation Franchise!

AvA Sticktober Prompts:

2021:

AvA Sticktober (Day 14): Sleep

AvA Sticktober (Day 22): Music

2022:

AvA Sticktober (Day 4 / 5): Falling / Trust (Repost)

AvA Sticktober (Day 8): Paper

AvA Sticktober (Day 21): Outfit

Episode- and Shorts- Related:

❤️ Hug for Red ❤️

We Can Rule Together

Stick Figures Picture Redraw

Will You Help Us?

I'm Not An Angel, and I'm Not The Devil

We Are Family

Family - King Orange and Purple

A Honorary Yellow Bandana for Red

Second Knows No Peace

Green is Suffering :(

Stress Ball Green

Holiday-Themed:

2022:

Happy Valentine's Day!

Animator vs. Animation-Inspired Easter Eggs

Animator vs. Animation-Inspired Easter Egg Surprises

Happy Father's Day!

Christmas Caroling with Green and Purple

2023:

Happy Valentine's Day!

Media References:

Anime:

Magical Girl Cosplay

Cursor Mirror

Cartoons:

The Great Diamond Authority, Animator vs. Animation Style

Songs:

Y Especialmente Tú (And Especially You)

Stick Figures on a Yellow Freesia Flower

Barbershop Quartet

Mini Doodles (Miscellaneous):

Airbrush Tooled-Victim

Various Doodles (Blue Eating Nether Warts, I Still Believe, In Spite of Everything...)

Red in his Yellow Bandana

Angels

Teacher Yellow

Smiling Red

Various Doodles (Permanent Marker Edition)

Greeting Victim and Red

Orchid, Purple's Mom (Digital Art Version)

Therapist Victim and ChaCha

Human Orchid

Chilling Green

Sticks Ships!

Orchid the Flower Fairy

Second X Red

Art Practice With Victim

Outfit Designs:

The Second Coming's Outfit Design

Green and Yellow's Outfit Designs

Real Life References:

Mental Awareness:

Self-Care

P.S. I Love You Day

Personal:

So Much Work

Silly Things:

Genuinely Smiling King Orange / Mango Tango (I'm sorry!)

Pacman Chosen

Stick Figures with Pacman Mouths

Persona:

Meet My Persona / Thank You! (Digital Art Version)

Miscellaneous:

Little Paper Figurines

Various Doodles

Humanized Characters in Various Outfits (Part 1)

The Wonder Pets

Extras:

Was It Worth It?

[darksideofparis]

I posted 449 times in 2022

89 posts created (20%)

360 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@saiilorstars

@gingerteaonthetardis

@antonybridgertons

@just0nemorepage

@oc-factoids

I tagged 440 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#doctor who - 128 posts

#photography - 57 posts

#moodboard - 46 posts

#anonymous - 46 posts

#aesthetic - 45 posts

#alex locke - 45 posts

#alex locke series - 42 posts

#eleventh doctor - 37 posts

#fanfiction - 36 posts

#books - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#if you were really pro-life you'd give a shit about the actual alive children who are getting killed every day

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

OC New Year's Challenge

December 31st - I'm Setting Off But Not Without My Muse with Ava Whitlock

So, this challenge is for an OC you created in 2021. And I created a lot of OCs. Just one of them is Ava Whitlock who, I'm not gonna lie, is a bit of a current muse. Hence choosing her for this challenge.

Ava's from 1944 Hollywood. She's currently working as an assistant to currently unknown actress, Lauren Bacall, but she aspires to be a writer and costumer. This moodboard shows just a little of Ava's world. Needless to say, it expands quite a bit when she runs into an enigmatic man and his companion who seem to be the only ones who have any knowledge about the strange metal men lurking on the Warner Bros. backlot. . .

6 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

#4

OC Valentine's Challenge: The Road Not Taken Looks Real Good Now with Rachel Williams

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much, but maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up. . .

Rachel Williams and Clara Oswald were girlfriends. And it was going well, at least as far as Clara was concerned. But Rachel's abandonment issues crept up and before they knew it, their romance was over. They remember it all too well, and they sometimes wonder how things might have turned out if things had gone just a little bit differently. . .

8 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#3

"Don't be rude! He didn't see her for two thousand years. If you waited two thousand years for someone, what would you do? Actually, would you wait for someone for two thousand years?"

"For you, Ally, I'd wait more."

"I'd do the same, Doc."

- Alex Locke and the Doctor from the Alex Locke Series

8 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#2

OC Halloween Challenge 2022 Day 1: Slasher AU

Alex Locke in Happy Death Day

August 31st, 2010, was supposed to be the best day of Alex's life. Not the last day.

The morning of her 21st birthday is off to an already bad start when Alex wakes up in bed with none other than her physics tutor, grad student John Smith. It only grows worse as, after a night out partying with friends, Alex heads back to her dorm room, only to be attacked and stabbed by a figure wearing an alien mask.

And then, somehow, things go from worse to weird as Alex wakes up in John's bed, the morning of August 31st, 2010. That night, she gets murdered, again.

It happens again.

And again.

And again.

What do you do when trapped in a time loop that continuously ends with your own murder? Alex chooses to team up with John in order to unmask the killer, end the loop, and save her life. But can they conquer the loop and unmask the killer without losing their lives?

taglist: @arrthurpendragon @that-demigirl @foxesandmagic

9 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

National Treasure OC: Nellie Bly Gates

Story Series: Unlikely Treasures Series

Pairing: Riley Poole x OC

Face Claim: Leighton Meester

Stories:

Untitled: Nellie Bly Gates' five-year plan looks something like this: Achieve her doctoral degree in archeology by finding the legendary Knights Templar treasure (alongside older brother Ben), get a deeper commitment out of boyfriend, Ian Howe, and finance an expedition to Egypt to find the lost tomb of Cleopatra. Her plan is going along swimmingly . . . until Ian's betrayal on the Charlotte. Suddenly, Nellie and Ben's only hope of finding the treasure is by stealing the Declaration of Independence. Definitely not something Nellie ever planned for, nor her developing an attraction to their computer geek. . .

OC Masterlist

12 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lilshotgun]

So here's why i've been inactive for the past couple months on tumblr:

As many of you know, I've been a fairly avid content creator for the warrior nun fandom creating a ton of content for free. I joined a Warrior Nun discord server named Future Warrior Nuns (which is a ridiculous name considering in the show Ava says there will be no more warrior nuns but that's besides the point) and the treatment I received there was amazing. At the beginning. I spoke up about racism and injustices within the community because you cannot escape it anywhere unfortunately and I believed I'd found a community that would protect me and be there for me if i was ever faced with racism or hate.

For clarity, anyone in blue is a moderator. As you go on to read this their usernames and profile images might change so I’ll clarify who is who. I’ll only be using the names I’ve been presented with and only the ones that are most relevant to the situation. 

Fiesta  (white American cis woman) aka Doesn't Kelly, Witch Rhyme

Taz (white Australian cis woman) 

Milan (a very sheltered American transmasculine poc whos uncomfortable talking about racism because they've never had to deal with it) aka Who The Fuck Is Kelly

Rory (white Australian cis woman) aka Stronger Kelly

 But after a while, things slowly started to change. It was subtle and if you hadn't been there from the beginning, you wouldn't have noticed. It started with the moderators spending less time in the server because they had made many of their own servers and spent far more time over there. Which is understandable when you’re a group of friends that all have a common purpose. But the lack of leadership was palpable. I had to sometimes direct fellow server members to proper channels or do a few other things that were supposed to be things that the moderators were supposed to take care of and their lack of care for the server was becoming more relevant. If you were in their little group of friends or kissed their ass then they wouldn't target you unnecessarily. 

    Exactly three weeks later, (and only one week after my birthday in which everyone was super sweet and nice to me) the love and friendship they claimed to have for me vanished completely. For context, people in positions of power, especially in a server, should be people you can come to if you ever have an issue with anything or anyone. They should also be people that can come to terms with admitting their behavior was incorrect when being told so. So here is what happened:

I have always been open about being a transmasculine person of color on all my platforms, and if you know me on any platform you know that. The behavior shown here between me and the moderators was absolutely appalling to me. They pushed my voice aside and only acknowledged Narcissa, a cis white woman, who was agreeing and saying the same things i had because i had asked her in private to help me out because i felt it was unfair that two server moderators were coming at me so aggressively. 

As you can see from the screenshots, they claimed that I attacked Fiesta when i was simply pointing out that her behavior was hypocritical and unfair especially because she is in a position of power and that's something people of power should be aware of. 

I was the only one brave enough to say what everyone was thinking. And that's something I have always taken pride in. Speaking up for others when they are too scared to do so themselves. And that was shown through multiple people coming into my dms to tell me they either felt the same way I did or they felt the way I was treated in the conversation above was unfair. This next screenshot is from a private message from a former manager. 

Narcissa (white cis woman)  received a few apologies from the server managers privately, yet my dms stayed vacant. At this point, they made a “public apology” towards everyone in the server which I forgot to screenshot, and not a single server manager reached out to me in private. But they did share these in the server for everyone to see:

They then opened an anonymous feedback form for us to share if we had any issues privately, which of course, I did, and so I filled it out saying “wheres my fucking apology ~king” so they would know exactly who the response was coming from. I was angry and hurt that they treated me the way they did. I regretted wording it like that almost instantly after sending it. But the deed was done and it was unchangeable. And not too long after, this was posted publicly in the server feedback channel so that everyone in the server could see:

Whether I shared that it was from me or not, she violated the server moderators unanimous statement saying that everything posted in the feedback form would stay anonymous and made my response public using the excuse that me sharing my name made it okay for her to show it to everyone. I was also being informed by other people I’m friends with that the forms that were being submitted were not staying anonymous and that they were being shared from other moderators privately in other peoples' dms.

I stuck around in the server because the people that I had formed friendships with were there and they were special to me and I wanted to be able to talk to them still in spite of everything that had happened to me up until this point. I was much more subdued at this point, I was posting less art and as you noticed I practically disappeared from twitter as well. 

My love for Warrior Nun was decreasing rapidly because the environment had become so toxic and unwelcoming that I felt scared to say much in the server in fear of being banned after seeing one of my trans poc friends banned for saying hi to another member. They had been looking for a reason to ban him for being on my side instead of theirs and apparently found the “perfect” excuse. They deleted his messages and claimed in their private admin channel that he had harassed someone in the server without screenshotting the false evidence first. How do I know this? Because I had a person on the team that valued me as a person instead of as a content creator and what I could give to the server.

I proceeded to curate the server for what fit me best, considering the ridiculous number of channels they created that had nothing to do with the show at this point. And there was an option for members to do that so I used the tools they had provided with and opted out of channels I no longer wanted to see. I consolidated it down to 35 out of 66 channels because some of them had no opt out option. And still, it was way more channels than I'd prefer to be in. I narrowed it down to only ships I actually cared about instead of having a bunch of channels I was never gonna read or say things in. And that's when the manager that cared about us provided me with these telling screenshots.

Why put me in “jail” over removing some roles? It may not have been explicit, but the internalized racism of putting a person of color in “jail” for curating what they wanted from a server is frankly off putting to say the least. "Implicit racism includes unconscious biases, expectations, or tendencies that exist within an individual, regardless of ill-will or any self-aware prejudices." 

And what does carl bot do exactly? It logs EVERYTHING. But only if that feature is enabled. And clearly, in Future Warrior Nuns, it is.

 They didn’t care about me and didn’t care that I was a consistent content creator. For lack of better words, I was one of the biggest reasons the actual part of the server that was dedicated to the show was constantly active and once I became quiet, along with a few other content creators I talked with, the activity decreased immensely. I said things here and there but that was about it. Until I was looking through their emotes. I noticed that they had trans, gay, demi, bi, aro, and ace heart emotes but the lesbian one wasnt there. Which was honestly surprising considering how much of the fandom identifies as lesbian. So I asked for it to be added and after it was, so many people were super happy because of it.

One day later i asked for more Mary emotes because they hadn’t completely brushed me off after requesting for the lesbian pride one. I noticed that Ava, the white character, had 72 animated and still emotes at the time while Mary, the black character, only had 18. And only 4 out of those were positive emotes. Here's that conversation:

I offered up my services to create Mary emotes for them considering I was an artist and content creator and it would be no issue for me at all to contribute but they declined, saying they were working on some themselves and that they would eventually add them to the server. The ones that they had created all looked terrible. They didn't know how to color correct her skin so that it wouldn't look ashy because of the filters used in the show and instead of asking for help from me, an artist of color, they simply did their own thing. And from 18 emotes, it went up to a dazzling 24. 

Needless to say, the racism they claimed not to have was pretty evident at this point. It was shockingly clear that they didn’t care as much about the characters of color than they did for the white and white passing ones. After this entire debacle I didn't even bother trying to ask for more emotes for Lilith considering how warmly I was welcomed with asking for more Mary emotes. 

A little less than two months after the initial incident, I still hadn’t been contacted by anyone on the admin team about absolutely anything in private. It wasn’t until people asked Fiesta if she had reached out to me or even bothered with an apology before she sent me this:

The “apology” was worthless. Too much time had passed since I was publicly humiliated and portrayed as the evil transmasculine person of color to them, and only a select few people interacted with me. I felt completely shut out because of how the admin team handled a difference of opinion. Instead of correcting themselves and admitting they were wrong, they doubled down on the intimidation and bullying  by changing their rules so that they could find excuses to ban or punish anyone they felt was not on their side. 

At this point, my grades were heavily declining. I was already struggling with keeping up with everything on my own due to covid and my mental disabilities. Being a victim of this racist behavior made everything worse. I couldn’t get out of bed, I was barely eating a meal a day because I had no motivation to work so I had little to no money to buy myself food. I was starving most days. And I didn’t ask my mom for help because I felt everything was my fault and that I really was in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything even though looking back at it I wasn't wrong for what I said. I had also been informed that my dad died because of covid and because of all of this stress and depression I had officially failed my classes. 

This is really difficult for me to say because I’m a very private person and I hate asking for help or sharing anything about my private life, but for you to understand everything that was happening to me at the time, this is stuff you unfortunately need to know. 

There’s many more things that I could say about this server but this thread is already long enough as it is and it was hard enough to write this all down. But behind closed doors, the admin team had some of the nastiest attitudes and behaviors you could’ve seen. Had they realized we had someone on their team that actually valued us and others as people, they probably would have kept their blatant ignorance and dislike towards server members hidden better. But white people like oppressing others when they know they can get away with it and this is just another sad unfortunate example that cost me and my fellow friends of color some heavy emotional and psychological damage.     They did wrong and refused to acknowledge it and instead tried to find a way to ban us for not having the hivemind that they so desperately want to control everyone with. If you want to see for yourself, feel free to find a link to a discord server named Future Warrior Nuns. If you look back through their channels, you’ll find most of these conversations either gone or have many messages missing. I hope my story will help understand why I’ve been gone from tumblr for so long and i hope something like this never happens to you.

[solamythest]

Random traditional drawing of Ava(I rarely ever draw her, despite her being my oc. Actually, I rarely ever draw any of my OCs actually…) I made for my birthday! I actually made this a few days ago and forgot to post it, but even if it’s only 24 minutes until my b-day is over, I decided to post it now!