maryam joyce, phd. thirty-two. lecturer in religious studies.
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AIYSHA HART â House of BARRIE Burns Night, 25 January 2023
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infiinitysâ:
@nothillstarters
đđ đđđ đđđđ đ quiet shift at Next Chapter â something that Margo was certainly fine with. Even still, the woman could feel herself slowly but surely being consumed by her boredom the longer she stood. Behind the counter she clasped a book in hand: a collection of F. Scott Fitzgeraldâs short works. That is, until she noticed a customer approach the register, noticeably empty handed.
âHi.â Margo flashes a shy smile, leaning against the counter with a sense of quiet attentiveness. She wonders at times why she applied for this job, especially considering she is not all that social. ââŠHow can I help you?â
While she had always been a big reader and even bigger hoarder of books, her ability to get lost in a story had slowly but surely disappeared. She still read, most likely more than most, but the books and papers were all non-fiction and mostly related to her work and the research that came with it. So, stood in front of the counter of the local bookshop, Maryam hoped she could get some professional insight.Â
âDo you think you could offer me some recommendations?â she asked, having picked up a random book from the nearest shelf to her. âI would really like to get back to reading fiction, but I donât know where to start.âÂ
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whitsfmâ:
LOCATION: the park
CLOSED STARTER FOR: maryam joyce ( @maryamjoyceâ )
    making her way down the pathway, aaliyah was holding something in her hand. this wasnât hers, it belonged to someone else and after asking two people, they both said the same thing â this belonged to someone who was heading down this way. she hoped to catch up with them and give them their stuff back. seeing only one other person going down the same path, she sped up a little bit and made her way towards them, moving her hair behind her shoulder gently before clearing her throat so that she could speak.    â uh⊠excuse me, i-is this yours? â she asked, sending the other a small smile as she lifted up the object in question. â a bunch of people are saying that it is, but i just wanna make sure. â
A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she realised the friendly stranger was holding the case of her earbuds. While not a sentimental or in any way meaningful possession, its disappearance would have certainly been a financial loss. She couldnât keep buying new earphones on a lecturerâs salary, no matter how necessary it might have been. âIt is,â she practically squealed, evidently very pleased by the turn of events. She hadnât had the chance to notice the case had dropped from her traitorously shallow pocket, but the fact that it had been found was nonetheless a good thing. âThank you so much. Itâs these damn pockets. Apparently they donât need to be actually functional in quote unquote womenâs clothing.âÂ
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rodrickfellâ:
Location: Notting Hill Cafe
Rodrick was in the process of closing up the cafe for the night. It was a weak day, not too many customers, and so he let most of his workers finish up their shift and go home, the rest were busy washing up and stacking up chairs on tables. Rick finished wiping up the counter and sat down on one of the stools. He opened up a bottle of white wine and poured himself a glass. He turned his head at the sound of the door opening and saw a person walk in. âThe coffee machineâs off, but youâre more than welcome to join me for for a glass of wine.â He said, gesturing with a slight nod of his head towards the bottle.
âLook, Iâm definitely not one of those annoying customers who wander in just when a place is closing,â she hurried to explain herself the moment she stepped in, âI wouldnât be able to live with myself if I did that.â She was beyond pleased to see Rick, and immediately decided that her day had taken a turn for the better. Lugging around her comically large backpack best suited for hiking or other outdoors-y activities, Maryam made her way to the bar. âThat sounds brilliant. Iâve spent the day at the library, pretending to read research articles. Itâs very tiring, pretending to read.â She shook her head. âHope yours has been more productive.â
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shallowsfmâ:
  âi love her.â there had been no time to fully process what had happened but the closest emmeline had got to it was crying with clara during the nights. the felt responsible for it all. while she hadnât directly pushed to have a child, sheâd certainly felt pressure from her family and thought if she did want a child then it was the time to have one. she really loved clara but she didnât expect her husband to leave her a week after she was born. âi canât even think about himâŠâ her voice was quiet as she started to cry. âi have her to think about but iâm just so, so tired and i canât do it on my own.â she was stressed out beyond belief and it was having many physical affects on her. âi canât do it.â the woman was unable to hide the fact that she was crying in front of the other. âi need him to come back.â
       it was too late to stop the water works. emmeline pressed herself into the back of the sofa as she cried and it took clara for a couple of moments to echo her. âsee! i canât catch a break!â sheâd unravelled pretty quickly in front of maryam but it was the words that had reminded her what had happened. âiâm so tired and my fridge looks like a ghost down and iâm having issues with my supply even though sheâs constantly close to me but i feel like i canât fix i-â running out of breath cut her off as she sobbed whilst clara shrieked. emmeline wanted to go and comfort clara but she felt like she physically couldnât; face pressed against the fabric of the sofa and legs tucked upwards, she continued to cry. she was in too much of a state to say anything or do anything this wasnât how the nights were but she felt like she was breaking.Â
Oh, she couldâve strangled that no good cousin of hers. Alas, she had no idea where he had disappeared, and leaving on a wild goose chase did not seem like the most productive or helpful thing. Maryam was convinced that wouldâve been easier as comforting someone going through such a difficult time seemed near impossible. âYou donât have to feel like you can do it all on your own, you wonât have to. I am sure it feels like that right now, and thatâs obviously a very valid feeling. Right now you just have to survive through this really fucking shitty situation, thatâs all. You can worry about all the rest later, much later.â She cleared her throat quietly, careful not to make too much noise. Not that it really mattered.Â
"Shit,â she muttered as both Emmeline and her daughter started crying. She could handle the baby, babies were simple, but how on earth could she help the mother of said baby? Could she just prance to the Moses basket and pick Clara up? Maybe Emmeline did not want anyone touching the baby and would only grow more upset if she went ahead comforting Clara. That being said, telling the poor woman to get her crying baby seemed incredibly insensitive. âEmmeline,â she began softly, not entirely convinced her voice could be heard over the crying, âdo you think you need a moment to yourself right now? Just a few minutes. I can look after Clara.â
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wcnclyâ:
âOh absolutely, I mean itâs not like there arenât enough people around here for them to see every time theyâve asked me about taking something from them that I have said no, you would think they would have given up by now, but no. Iâm almost impressed by their sheer determination to get someone to take their product.â Wendy teased, suddenly stopping and pressing the back of her hand to her forehead incredibly dramatically. âOh no, itâs almost as though⊠Women⊠Are the fairer, weaker sex, and we couldnât possibly say no to someone!â
âMaybe itâs a challenge for them, something to keep their day exciting. I know I have to come up with little tasks like that to make things a little less dull on certain days.â While she genuinely adored her job, the days spent grading and handling the more administrative side of things were nothing short of torturous. On those days she had to find different ways to keep herself motivated, otherwise the piles of papers would simply keep on growing. âRight? Unfortunately thatâs something loads of people expect. And I guess there can be a bit of truth to that. Women are conditioned to be, I donât know, more approachable, I guess.âÂ
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drcamlandâ:
âIâve been there more times than Iâd like to admit, too. I dream so big but then I get maybe halfway through if Iâm lucky and get too tired to continue, and just live in a disorganized mess until I can pull myself together.â Pulling out her phone, Rehema pulled up a photo of a pastel yellow and blue concept sheâd found on Pinterest.  âSomething maybe like this? Itâs bright without being too overwhelming.â
âAh, a tried-and-true method,â she sighed, an amused smile spread across her lips and reaching her dark brown eyes. âAlthough I suppose interior designers wouldnât exactly recommend using said method. I mean, itâs so much fun at first, you know, rediscovering all sorts of things you forget you had, but then the despair takes over.â Maryam grimaced before leaning in to have a good look at the pictures. âThatâs really pretty. I say we start as soon as possible. I need a new hobby, or something to keep me active.âÂ
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drcamlandâ:
âYou could also check Google - there has been more than one occasion where Iâm standing in front of the liquor shelves asking the internet which one has the strongest proof but best taste,â he let out a soft, humorless laugh, a little embarrassed at how true the admission was.  âI think there are some people whoâs entire job is just to know stuff about wine. What are the odds that one of them would work here at the tesco?â
Maryam smiled briefly as she turned to study the bottles, trying to busy herself with the task at hand. She didnât feel comfortable continuing the subject or asking any awkward questions, not when she didnât necessarily want to hear the answers. âOh, I know. And Iâve spent what feels like hours Googling. I guess I just want my colleagues to think Iâm as established and grownup as they are,â she finally admitted sheepishly, certain the colour of her cheeks had shifted to a giveaway shade of red. âI donât know, they all seem to have everything figured out. Itâs probably not the case, but thatâs how it feels.â
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oftatteredwingsâ:
It had been a stupid thing to say really because Leo had absolutely no idea what someone who knew about wine was supposed to look like. He imagined that neither one of them did really. âMostly. Like my father,â he offered her with a casual shrug. His father was probably one of the biggest snobs that he knew, both about wine and otherwise. It was no wonder that theyâd never really got on, they couldnât have been more different.
âLeast thatâs what I always got told,â he offered her. âAnd I eat a lot of fish.â Thatâs what happened when you turned pescatarian of course.Â
âAh, I see.â While she had no real way of knowing what the relationship between the young man and his father looked like, Maryam could make an educated guess. It didnât take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that inquiring about the father in question would have most likely been a bad idea. So, Maryam decided against any further questions and simply nodded. âThatâs very helpful, though. Iâve had wine before, but I donât think Iâve had the pleasure of being around folks who know a lot about it. In fact, Iâve mostly enjoyed the boxed kind, and thatâs obviously far from fancy.âÂ
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lxuiscgbcâ:
Louis never wanted people to think they were bothering him, he might be an introvert, but that didnât mean he didnât like talking to people. It was a requirement for his work anyway, so he had gotten more used to talking to people. âUsually I would be doing some of the same, mostly about how to stop being at home so much, however itâs a little easier when you work from home.â He chuckled, shaking his head. He didnât know wine super well, but he knew a few things. âYou said salmon? Go for a chardonnay. Tends to work with most things honestly.âÂ
âThank you,â she breathed out, beyond grateful for the help she had received from the kind stranger. âNormally I wouldnât mind as much, you know, my friends wouldnât really care whether the wine was fancy or went well with the dish.â While pretending to be something she was not had never been her forte, Maryam did want to make a good impression and show her colleagues she could be trusted to pick out the right wine. That being said, she had decided to do her wine shopping in the nearest Tesco instead of venturing somewhere with a better selection. Oh well. âIâm Maryam, by the way.âÂ
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0h0pheliaâ:
Ophelia looked up at the other and for a moment she really considered that that would be a good idea. She very quickly changed her mind, shaking her head. âOh no, I can just imagine how that would have gone. He would have demanded I leave with him and then took off his shirt to prove what he had underneath, I can see it.â She rested a hand on her forehead and laughed softly. âTo tell the truth Iâm supposed to have a fiancĂ© and itâs been arranged between our families, however I only intend to marry for the power that comes within the families.â
She nodded along as the young woman spoke, all too familiar with the type she was describing. It was clearly a good thing she had been able to cut the date short. Maryamâs brows shot up as the other explained her situation. âOh dear.â She let out a low whistle, clearly quite surprised by the confession. âSounds stressful,â she commented, âbut I hope you think itâs worth your while? I mean, do you personally gain anything from the arrangement? Iâd hope so.â
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wcnclyâ:
âOkay, so Iâm not the only one that street vendor has been trying to get with that spiel of theirs? Because it seems like they just keep talking even when youâve said youâre not interested a thousand times. Like⊠I understand you have to make money and make a living but that doesnât mean you have to do it like that.â She said with a soft shake of her head. There was just something about an aggressive sales tactic that turned Wendy off entirely. âOh absolutely, my neck is much happier.â
âOh, not at all. I spent like half an hour hiding in a shop, but they found me the moment I stepped outside. I was kind of starting to think they were maybe tracking me, so I am almost relieved to hear someone else has been having the same problem,â she chuckled before glancing over her shoulder, simply to check if the vendor in question was still looking for them. âI honestly do not think they bother more masculine people the same way they pester feminine folks. Itâs kind of obvious and really messed up.âÂ
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shallowsfmâ:
    the woman had broken down both publicly and during the nights when she couldnât get clara to settle. she did have people he could have called but emmeline herself had never been great at asking for help outright, nor was she about to wake someone up at 3am in the morning crying down the phone to them. the tears were more for the abandonment she felt both for herself and on behalf of her daughter than out of hatred for him - she wasnât yet at that stage, or perhaps claraâs birth had meant things would hit her in a different order. âiâve had to pull out of a project i was going to do. they said theyâd wait but james newton howardâs interested in it so iâm not quite sure they will.â emmeline knew she didnât have time and that she wouldnât be able to handle it. âiâve got a doctorâs appointment tomorrow. iâm having trouble feeding her, the problem being on my end, not hers.â although her candour could be recognised, she wasnât at all mentioning her feelings on either subject. âsleep is a major issue but isnât that the same for everyone with a baby?â the woman shrugged as her eyes looked towards the basket.
Maryam could feel a tight know forming in the pit of her stomach as she studied Emmeline as discreetly as possible: it was obvious she was beyond exhausted and completely heartbroken. She has obviously know to expect that, but the reality hit her like a ton of bricks. Truthfully, she didnât know what to say or how to comfort her, but remaining silent and just staring helplessly would undoubtedly just make her feel much worse. âYou are doing your very best in a really shitty situation. Thatâs all you can do,â she eventually commented carefully, her voice low so as not to wake the baby. It was strange to think she shared some genetics with the child, especially now that her father had pulled such a cowardly stunt. âI would be happy to look after her for an hour or two if you ever need a nap or just have to get out of the house. Anything to make it a little bit easier for you. Do you have food in the house? I can go shopping for you if thatâs something you need.âÂ
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shallowsfmâ:
   âthank you so much for coming over.â emmeline had greeted maryam with a smile despite the circumstances. she hadnât even told her own parents about what had transpired but felt the need to reach out to the other. although she was happy to see the other and felt alone, the urge to hug the other didnât come in that moment; emmeline was rather reserved in that regard. âclaraâs currently asleep.â she gestured over to the moses basket - the woman had made sure there was one in nearly every single room so she could watch her at all times. it was a strange spot she found herself in. emmeline was severely upset but she still had a responsibility to care for an extremely young child, one that had resemblance to her husband, or soon to be ex husband, but she still loved the child and never had any reservations about doing that - she was just afraid she wasnât going to be good enough. âsorry, do you want something to drink? i have quite the range.â
@maryamjoyceâ
A mix of burning rage and deep sadness, perhaps a bit of nausea and shame. She had felt the combination of all of those things when she had heard the news. While not the culprit by any means, Maryam could not help but feel deeply ashamed by her cousinâs actions. They had never been all that close, but there was still a connection, something she now despised. That being said, her feelings did not matter now, not when she wanted to be there for Emmeline. She could not imagine the combination of emotions she had been forced to tackle. âNo, definitely not,â she replied hastily, then realising her words could be read as quite inconsiderate. That was certainly not her intention as she simply didnât want to trouble poor Emmeline. âI mean, thereâs absolutely no need.â She paused for a moment. âDo you need anything? Anything at all?â While not sure what she could realistically offer, Maryam wanted to help so very badly.Â
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urbnlgndsâ:
wine is one of the only things that noa has a confident amount of knowledge on. is it because sheâs spent the last few years buying a bottle every week as a source of stress relief? itâs possible, but thereâs nothing about that fact that she feels shame for. as a single mother of a four-year-old, the yoga instructor feels as though she can do far more damage than a bottle of wine every week. but even her expertise in the subject doesnât keep her from taking too long in that particular aisle of the grocery store. sheâs tired from being at work all day, every muscle in her body sore and the look on her face far off and clearly distracted. noa has half a mind to just pick a bottle at random and drag herself to the counter, but sheâs still taking her time, and that in and of itself is a miracle.Â
âsomething white,â she responds without looking towards the other she was aware that people were shuffling around her to get to their own easy-choice picks. âit wonât be too overpowering and itâll pair well with the ginger. the last thing you need is something red and fruity to ruin the taste of everything else.â
âAh, yes, thatâs what I thought In fact, I donât think Iâve ever been recommended to have red wine with fish. Definitely doesnât sound like a good pairing,â she commented with a nod of her head. She was relieved she had actually gotten some advice, even if there were still far too many white wines to choose form. âNormally I wouldnât care as much, but itâs a work thing and I want to make a good impression,â she admitted while reading the label of one of the prettier looking bottles. While not cheap by any means, it was also far from being one of the more expensive ones. As much as she wanted to bring a good bottle of wine, she was not ready to pay an arm and a leg for it. âThank you for your help. Itâs a good thing I didnât pick a bottle of red in my panicked state of mind.â
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