#it is a little annoying that the game assumes you're young

[persephoneggsy]

the dreaded age gap

[moonlightrafe]

Watermelon Sugar

summary: Family brunches are boring, Aegon makes them more fun.

pairing: Modern!Aegon Targaryen x Niece!Reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: Explicit smut, alcohol consumption, incest in a modern setting (whoops), fingering, p in v sex, semi-public sex 18+ MDNI

note: This is a repost …. Feedback is appreciated!

The warm sun illuminated your skin as you reluctantly made your way over to your seat for brunch. Viserys had planned it — his own feeble attempt to bring your fractured family together, even if it was only for a brief moment. For the most part, it worked. Everyone tried to behave themselves, though gatherings like this usually ended in a confrontation of some sort.

Before you even arrived at your seat, you felt a hand wrap around your waist, tugging at the hem of your sundress.

"Whew! Who are you all dressed up for?"

Aegon asked as you batted his hand away, shooting him a look of disapproval.

There was an unspoken thing between the two of you, everybody knew it. However, you didn't need him pawing at your waist in front of the entire family.

"Charming as ever I see."

He flashed a grin at you in response; that boyish smile of his made you weak in the knees.

"Here," he handed you the mimosa that was in his hand, "you're going to need it," he whispered before making his way back to his own seat.

You kept your eye locked on him as he retreated to his designated spot. Noting that Aemond was muttering something to him as he sat down.

"What?" he retorted, "I can't say hi to our niece?" Turns out, Aemond wasn't the only one annoyed with Aegon's show of affection.

"You'd think he would know better than to encourage you to drink at this hour," your brother admonished you, nodding his head toward Aegon in annoyance.

"It's brunch, Jace," you say before taking a large sip of the mimosa, "live a little."

"Right. Because Aegon needs an excuse to drink at noon."

"Please," you pleaded, "don't start."

"I'm not," he huffed, before shoveling a forkful of eggs in his mouth, "I'm just saying."

Thankfully your brother's comments ended there and so far everything was going well. Lucerys was sat next to Daeron — as far away from Aemond as possible, which was key to any family event running smoothly. The two young boys were talking loudly about a video game. Your mother and Alicent were giggling amongst themselves, talking so low you couldn't decipher what they were saying. Aemond sat stoically in his seat, occasionally stealing a glance at Helaena, who was tapping aimlessly at her phone, playing some sort of trivia game that you could only assume had something to do with bugs.

Every so often Aemond would glare at you, and then at Aegon who was now three mimosas deep.

If you could make it through brunch peacefully, you would find yourself back at the keep with your family later that evening. And if you played your cards right, you'd get your claws into Aegon.

It didn't take long for you to figure out that family gatherings such as these served to be rather boring when there was no fighting involved.

Staring down at the plate of fruit in front of you, an idea popped into your head. Maybe you could make your own fun.

You plucked a piece of watermelon from the plate and took a small bite, allowing the juice to run down your chin onto your chest. Rubbing your thumb along your bottom lip, swirling the juice in a fake attempt to clean yourself up. Innocently glancing over at Aegon through your lashes. His eyes were fixated on your breasts, flicking them up to make direct eye contact as you began to suck on the fruit. His lips parted in anticipation as he watched you.

But, Aegon wasn't the only one watching, Aemond's eye was also locked on you. He was hard to read, but he looked disappointed by your actions. Feeling heated and a bit flustered you decide to go freshen yourself up.

"If you would excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom," you announced to the table before making a beeline to the other side of the restaurant.

As you went to shut the door behind you, a hand shot through and Aegon made his way into the small space with you.

"What are you doing?!" You hiss.

"What am I doing?! What are you doing?" He spun you around and wrapped his arms around you tightly, pressing his bulge against your backside.

"What are you doing? Huh?" He repeated as he inhaled the sweet scent of your hair. A mixture of apple from your shampoo, and vanilla from your perfume.

"Gods, you're going to be the death of me," he groaned in your ear.

"This dress," he rasped, releasing his grasp on you to tug at the hem of it, "that little show you put on out there." His large hand came down and smacked your ass harshly, causing you to yelp.

Aegon wasted no time and lifted you up onto the marble counter with quickness, kissing you deeply.

Against your will, a moan escaped your lips.

Aegon took this as an okay to continue. Snaking his tongue into your mouth, pushing your legs apart so he could settle in between them.

He tasted so good — remnants of orange juice, champagne and a subtle hint of tobacco filled your senses. His hands dug into your thighs with such force, you were sure his rings were going to leave marks, but you didn't care. He nipped at your your neck and kissed down your chest, licking the sticky remnants of the watermelon juice from the valley of your breasts.

Once he made his way further down, he began to began to take his time. Lifting your dress slowly, the pads of his fingers ghosting your thighs. The anticipation was killing you.

"Mmm, Aeg. Please," you whined.

He chuckled at you and lifted your dress up, bunching it around your hips to reveal your underwear. He took a minute to admire the damp spot that was forming in the center, and you felt a slight blush form across your cheeks. His thick fingers finally made contact with your pussy, rubbing them against the thin, lacy, material of your panties. He looped his fingers through the sides and quickly ripped them down your legs, exposing you to the cool air. He took no time to slide his fingers through your folds, gathering your slick.

"Oh look at you," he purred appreciatively, "so naughty, baby."

A loud moan erupted from your chest as he used his index finger to slowly trace around the opening of your cunt, each swipe had you silently begging he would slip it inside.

That devilish grin of his flashed across his face once more as he looked up at you.

"Don't get desperate on me now. l've barely even touched you. Gotta keep quiet, huh baby?"

A simple nod in response was all you were able to give him.

"Good girl" he drawled as he pushed his finger into you.

"Fuck, Aeg. Feels s'good," you whispered.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he began to move his hand faster, adding a second finger in. The pleasure was so overwhelming you forgot where you were. In a cramped, unisex bathroom, with your entire family seated at a table not too far away from the door.

All you cared about was that you wanted more, no, needed more. You squirmed against him, trying to get his fingers deeper into you.

He took the hint and obliged. Pressing them harder into you, pumping in and out with vigor.

He used the calloused pad of his thumb to push violently against your clit. He reached the spongy spot within your walls and pressed firmly into it, his free hand pushing down on your stomach as he continued to thrust his fingers. Occasionally scissoring them, stretching you out even more. It soon became too much for you. You felt your stomach drop and your walls tighten as your cunt squeezed around his digits.

"Thereee she is," he sing-songed. That's it, good girl."

He continued to fuck you with his fingers through your orgasm. Your ears rang, your vision blurred and white-hot electricity pumped through your veins. When he finally removed his fingers from your pussy he brought them up to your mouth, watching with bright eyes as you sucked your release off them, pushing them down your throat causing you to gag a little.

Releasing his fingers from your mouth you shimmied off the bathroom counter, fumbling to unbuckle Aegon's pants.

"Uh uh, baby. We will have time for me later. We have brunch to get back to.

As eager to please you as he was, Aegon was not one to usually turn down his own pleasure. You were unsure if he was being serious, or if he just wanted to hear you beg for it.

"Aeg, please."

He didn't need anymore convincing.

"Put your hands on the counter," he demanded as he spun you around. Unbuckling his belt, sliding his jeans and boxers down his legs with quickness; allowing his already hard cock to spring free and slap against his stomach. Lifting your leg before shoving himself between your folds. You groaned and tried to push yourself closer to him. He let out a laugh and smacked your ass, causing you to jolt forward.

"Be still," he growled.

You nodded your head eagerly, the palms of your hands resting against the cold marble. He filled you to the hilt with one single thrust, spearing you open.

As he began to move in and out of you, his hands tugged at your hips. "Oh, fuck!" you mewled loudly before his palm slapped over your mouth to keep you quiet.

He leaned over you, panting with his breath hot on your ear.

"What would Jace think," he whispered, venom in in his voice, "knowing that his precious little sister is a whore for my cock, huh?" You bit down your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to cum for a second time from his lewd words.

"Or Aemond?" he taunted, "our prim and perfect niece bent over for me like a dirty little slut."

Agon bit down hard on your shoulder, his teeth grazing your skin, causing you to moan and arch your back, meeting his thrusts. He makes direct eye contact with you in the mirror as he continued to pound into you.

"Oh, you like that, huh? You like being my dirty little slut?" You nodded your head feverently, the walls of your cunt contracting, sucking him in.

"You gonna cum again for me baby? Gonna make a mess on my cock?"

"Fuck, yes. I'm gonna cum! Aegon, please, please make me cum."

Your nails dug into the counter as he fucked into you, the head of his cock pressed against your sweet spot with precision. He reached up, grabbing your breast, pinching your nipple roughly, pushing you over the edge one final time.

Your second orgasm washed over you with such intensity, it was almost painful. Your cunt squeezed around Aegon's cock, threatening to pull his own release from him.

"Shhh, that's it, there you go," he cooed. With a few more harsh thrusts against your cervix, his cock twitched inside you, pearly ropes of him coating your walls.

You could feel his heart beating through his chest, as his breathing slowed down. He kissed your neck and nuzzled his head inyour hair before quickly pulling out of you, immediately pulling his pants back up.

"Holy fuck," you breathed as he handed you back your underwear.

Whatever train of thought you had was interrupted by a knock.

"We're leaving! And you guys are assholes!”

Aemond's voice called from the other side of the door.

The two of you burst out laughing before making your way out of the bathroom.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, I hope this isn't too heavy for an anon ask, but I truly don't know where else to ask this

when i saw your thread about child sex ed, I just wondered... did i accidentally assault my brother???

so for some context I was raped/CSA'd sometime before the age of 11 and it's fucked up my perception of what's considered appropriate. when we were little, my brother who is very close in age to me and I used to have a game of "going to the doctor" where we would go in the bathroom and just look at each other's bodies (in a nonsexual way, normal behavior for curious kids). the part that gets me is that I remember trying to get him to stick his fingers in my holes -- to his credit he always refused and I never physically forced him to do anything, but in retrospect the thought just makes me ill

and before you ask, yes, our sex ed as children was very spotty and pretty much ended at how babies are made

hi anon,

this is a heavy one, and I'm sorry you've been feeling gross about this.

for what it's worth, I don't think anything you're describing is inappropriate or particularly unusual. as you said, it's very normal for young children to examine each other's bodies. this is a very developmentally normal curiosity to have, especially between children who have noticed that their body parts look different. that can include exploring bodily cavities, and there's nothing inherently harmful or abusive about that. some years ago Lena Dunham got BLASTED as a child abuser for talking about looking at her baby sibling's vulva in her memoir, and that made me incredibly mad. Lena Dunham wasn't molesting her sibling; she was a curious child and people using completely ordinary childhood activities to call her a pedophile just because she's annoying fucking sucks.

listen. caveat: not all instances of children taking an interest in each other's bodies is harmless. molestation can very much occur between siblings, and cause lasting trauma. okay? that's a real thing. your fears are not baseless.

but it sounds like you and your brother were both engaging in consensual play and you didn't force the issue when he didn't want to digitally penetrate you. unless you feel like dredging the issue up with your brother, or he wants to bring it up and/or is exhibiting any signs of lasting sexual trauma, I think you are probably safe to assume that you didn't do any lasting harm.

it's understandable to have the ick about it now as an adult, with greater context. and it's very normal to be cautious and worried that you may have hurt your brother unintentionally. but please try not to be too hard on yourself about this. you were a kid doing things kids do. your intentions were not malicious, and being a kid unknowingly doing something that *might* hurt someone is not the same as being an abuser.

[slasheddreams]

The Pristine, White Apartment [ broken glass / blood rain ] - The Expurgation Series [ broken glass / blood rain ]

content warning for: [ mentions of blood and violence, mentions of injury via baseball bat, vaguely alludes to the concept of the "uncanny valley", and the like. ]

... This apartment was a marbled off-white color.

Yumeno ran her fingers along the cold kitchen counters. There wasn't even dust on the marble surface.

This apartment was rather big, she had to admit. Much bigger than her own apartment back home, but to her, it felt more like a house.

...

It felt more like a home. Yeah. Someone else's home, but a home nonetheless.

The shoes lined up by the door, the umbrellas in the glass container by the door, the freshly washed dishes in the dish rack, water still dripping from the plates into the sink with a rhythmic snapping sound.

Her fingers gripped the camera she held softly, her deep blue eyes focused on the tall man standing before her. The odd man in the beige coat with the baby blue eyes and an off-putting smile.

"... This is your home? How... quaint and tidy."

The smile never left his face, and a soft nod and hum of agreement were directed toward the young woman. A dead blue gaze pierced her chest as he turned his head slightly.

"It is. Why don't you take a look around, Yumeno? And then, come sit with me once you're done."

...

The couches were similar to the rest of the house, an off-white color, kept to a pristine standard, not a crease or stain anywhere. No dust nor dirt. It amazed her, how someone could live in a house so... pristine and perfect.

The kitchen was the same. There was a flawless countertop, with a marbled lazy Susan, an assortment of spices lay ontop of it. The knife block was completely filled, not a knife missing from it, and each knife was sharp and shiny. The stove was clean, nor grease or dust laid atop it. She wasn't sure there was dust anywhere in this house.

The steel sink and fridge glowed in the white light, not a single fingerprint or water stain in sight. And not to say Yumeno didn't try. The fridge was cool to the touch, yet her fingerprints wouldn't stick. The water worked, yet the water never stained.

It was simply as pristine as always. It annoyed her.

There were two bedrooms, one opened and one closed. She wouldn't go into a closed room, much less someone's private quarters. However, Yumeno assumed the open room was free game, hovering in the doorway. This room must have been that man's room, assuming he actually did live there. Her hand rested on the doorway to the room.

The room itself felt rather big, just like the rest of this apartment. There was a neatly made bed in the centre of the room, a wooden desk laid on the side furthest from the door, covered in neat and orderly stacks of... some sort of paper material. A deep obsidian robe hung from the slightly ajar closet door, filled with other clothing items the photographer couldn't care less about. A bookshelf with books, a framed photograph, a box of strawberry-shaped bandages, a box cutter, a laundry basket of clothes and a shiny, silver baseball bat... it was certainly a room, one well lived in.

There was a hallway bathroom, nothing special or of note.

There was a garage door, but Yumeno quickly found it to be locked from the other side. Pausing a moment, she leaned against the door. She pressed her ear to it, a faint clicking sound emanating from the locked-off area, as well as this odd squelching noise. She grimaced a little, pulling herself away from the door. The noise made her nauseous, it was so unpleasant.

...

The smell of curry permeated the air, a sweet and alluring smell drawing Yumeno back to the main living room area. The man stood in the kitchen, his back turned to her, his coat laid lazily across the chair he sat in prior.

His thick auburn brown hair clung to the nape of his neck, neatly maintained and well-kept. His light blue shirt looked almost snow-white in the kitchen's lighting if it wasn't for the dark brown, unbuttoned vest he wore atop it.

"... You're cooking curry?"

He turned, a soft smile forming on his face. His blue eyes harbored some light in them this time around, his brown hair framing such a pretty face. His freckles almost seemed to glisten like glitter under the sunlight.

"My father figure used to cook curry for me whenever I visited his home as a guest. I suppose it's just... a habit of mine, to make some for my guests as he did for me all those years ago."

Yumeno carefully dragged herself through the kitchen, finding a place by his side in the kitchen, peering over his shoulder with hungry curiosity. Her hands rested on the camera hanging around her neck, picking it up slightly. Her head tilted slightly, her eyes falling on the man's face. Focused on the curry, a small furrow on his lips as he painstakingly poured so much love and effort into it. There was always something a little uncanny about him, Yumeno believed, from the moment she ran into him on that fateful street corner on Otleus Avenue. Something was inherently familiar about his face, his voice, his demeanor. But something unshakable... something wrong.

That feeling seemed to have melted away in that moment, however. This man was nothing more than a lonely man, seeking nothing more than someone's company. She felt a little bad for judging him so harshly.

She paused a moment, her eyes falling on the camera in her hands. He looked particularly pretty in this lighting, she thought to herself. He almost seemed to glisten, like an angel in the holy light. She took a step back, raising her camera as she took a knee. Aiming her camera, she leaned slightly, carefully making sure to capture the whole scene in her lens, before a soft 'click' sounded off, echoing lightly in the pristine kitchen grounds.

The man paused, his head turning slightly to face his guest. He cocked his neck to the side slightly, curiosity filling his eyes. His fingers twitched, lightly grasping onto the wooden stick he had been using to stir. Watching as she rose off her knee, Yumeno tilted her camera towards herself with a soft smile, laughing.

"Did you take a photo of me...?"

Laughing a little, the redhead nodded. Then, shuffling closer, she tilted the camera slightly in his direction. Gently butting his head against Yumeno's, his eyes fell on the digital photograph... she certainly had a talent for it.

"You looked a little too pretty for me not to take a photo! You certainly have your brother's photogenic traits... I guess I can say I have seen two pretty brothers after all."

A snicker emerged from his throat as he gently scooped up a grey, ceramic curry bowl from the dish rack. His other hand gently interlocked with the plastic handles of the rice cooker, pulling it closer to him.

"Are you the type of photographer who also takes photographs of food?"

"Usually only if the actual subject of the photograph is eating it."

He gently scooped a small serving of rice into the grey curry bowl, and then, taking his wooden spoon, he scooped up a generous amount of curry, filling the other half of the curry bowl. It was plated so gorgeously, that she couldn't help but think about going back on her word there for a brief moment.

Placing the plate of curry and rice down at the table, the man gently motioned Yumeno to a seat with a soft smile. She wondered if he had any other facial expressions, she only ever saw him smiling... but it would be odd to be anything other than delighted at dinnertime.

...

It was almost like heaven, Yumeno thought. The curry was creamy, a tangy flavor floating on her tongue, a little spicy to wake her up. The rice itself was soft and light, clinging onto the flavor of the curry with a warm sensation. The chicken shredded so easily, the vegetables were just soft enough to where they weren't mush but didn't become a chore chewing either. Simply put... it was delicious.

"Thank you for dinner, sir. It was really kind of you."

"No."

Looking up, the man beamed softly with another gentle smile. Placing a hand against the side of his face, he laughed softly.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to make this curry again, after so many years..."

Looking away, he sighed a bit, laying his hand in his cheek. A furrow creased his brow slightly.

"... My father figure died 4 years ago, and my brother doesn't visit me. People don't visit me either, so this curry recipe... is often left sitting on my shelves. It's my first time making it in such a long time... so, really. Thank you."

Pausing, Yumeno placed her hand on the table quietly.

... he really did just seem like a lonely man. Now she really did feel bad for being so judgemental...

"It's very tasty. Was this your father figure's recipe?"

"... yeah, it was. Although, his curry was much spicier than this. He loved his spices... he loved them a lot. I can barely handle my spice though... so it hardly has the same kick."

She nodded slowly, the metal spoon lying lightly against the ceramic bowl. It collided with a soft 'clink', and remained motionless in the bowl. A heavy silence lingered across the dinner table. It was uncomfortable just how heavy sadness weighed in the air.

...

"You're so much different than I imagined."

"Huh?"

The words slipped out of Yumeno's mouth before she could really think of what to say. Something so small yet, words always carried a lot of weight. A lot more weight than her action and intent ever could. She did not come to his home out of the goodness of her heart, this much she could admit.

"Sorry, I just... I only knew about you from Daishobu's stories... but he always seemed so... upset about you. Like you ruined his life, he always openly despised you."

Looking down, she sighed. Her fingers twitched slightly as she brought her hands to her chest, shaking her head lightly.

There was the coffee order, something that seemed so innocent, so sweet initially in her mind. A caramel frappuccino with extra caramel drizzle, whipped cream, and caramel chips sprinkled on top. With the side treat the strawberry crepe, with the chocolate drizzle and the bite-sized vanilla wafers, dipped partially in chocolate cream, topped with whipped cream and fresh strawberries. When she heard it for the first time while at Vespa's cafe, she was entranced by its sweetness and sense of nostalgia. It sounded like a kid's dream, she believed. And, as it turned out, it was an order the man's brother was quite fond of, to the point it was engrained in that man's memories.

It turned out that drink and treat had made that man sick beyond belief. The taste of sugar like this made his stomach churn, to the point he couldn't hold down much of it. Years of sharing it, sugar being forced down his throat, the very thought made him sick. The afternoons filled with parents screaming, things breaking, and children crying, it all haunted his memories. And Yumeno would have never known, had she never asked. His eyes held such much hatred and disdain. Yumeno didn't know one man could harbor so much volatile vitriol in his heart.

"... I never did realize how badly he hated it. Caramel and Chocolate."

Closing his eyes, he sighed. He deflated slightly, shaking his head.

"It's my fault... I never really asked what he liked. Sugar always made him feel ill... but I really hated bitter and sour things... I was terrible."

Clasping his hands together, he groaned a bit, rolling his head to the side. Sighing again, he tilted his head again.

"I mean, I don't know if I ever really saw Daishobu as a person, to be honest. I mean, he must have told you, about the bandaid."

"Yeah... he did a little bit. He called you manic. And a little off kilter."

Yumeno didn't know too much about it, the bandages that was. She knew he preferred to treat his own wounds, and he didn't like being cared for. He always said that his brother treated him like a dress-up doll, or something sub-humane. Yumeno didn't fully understand it, though. But she knew it, and she trusted him. And he trusted her.

"... I couldn't blame him."

"You don't seem like such a bad person though."

Raising her hands softly, she clasped her hands along the bandaged hands of the man in front of her. His hand felt soft and warm in her own, unlike the cold, rugged, and callous hands of his twin brother. Her fingers intertwined with his own, a soft expression forming on her face.

"You've been very kind to me, and very willing to talk to me, to open up to me... You're also very sweet, cooking for me..."

Leaning her head to the side, she nodded slowly. A soft sigh, and then, squeezing his hand softly.

"Daishobu's always been a messier guy. Always a little unkempt, a little strange, a little messy. A little reckless. I kind of assumed you'd be the same. But this place is so... everything is so neat and well-kept, this place is really pristine."

She always thought it was odd how perfectly pristine it was. It was so clean, it looked like it wasn't possible to live in this house, yet... there he was. It was... too perfect.

"Ah... Really..."

Tilting his head slightly, he chuckled. Nodding slightly, cocking his head to the side further, he stayed silently. Yumeno let go of his hands, her eyes falling on the window sill. She could see the sun setting, she really should held out, she should go home soon. But she felt bad, he seemed like a good guy.

A good guy who was just very lonely.

...

Eventually, she took her hands away from his. Her hands felt so cold now. She smiled worriedly as she stood up.

"Thank you for letting me come over and talk to you a bit, Cipher. It's getting very late, though. I should be leaving soon, however."

"Oh? But, do you really have to?"

Pausing, Yumeno froze softly. That uncanny feeling came back, flooding her senses. A slight terror gripped her, something felt... wrong. Laughing awkwardly, Yumeno shook her head dismissively.

"I wouldn't want to overstep my stay further..."

"Mhm."

Taking a step back towards the door, Yumeno grimaced slightly. Something seemed really wrong... she couldn't tell what it was though. Reaching out, she paused. Why...

Why wouldn't the doorknob move? It wouldn't move...

Looking at the door, Yumeno wiggled the doorknob, she grimaced. Why wouldn't it move?

"What's wrong?"

Cipher smiled again, and this time, Yumeno noticed something in his hands. A pair of pristine, glistening silver keys. She grimaced again, lowering her hands. Nodding, she laughed nervously.

"Oh... I'm okay! I... do have to use the bathroom though. May I?"

Cipher nodded, gesturing down the hall with a chuckle.

"Be my guest."

...

Locking the bathroom door, Yumeno sank down onto the floor, grimacing again. When did he lock the front door? Her hands were shaking slightly. So, she might not be the best judge of character.

Pulling out her phone, she grimaced again. There were a ton of numbers on her phone, hundreds of people she could call. But, it didn't matter in the end. From A to Z, she called every number, and from A to Z, none of the calls went through. She began to wonder if the bathroom was a dead cell spot.

There was a gentle knock on the bathroom door, in a rhythm of one, two, one. (Yumeno remembered Daishobu mentioned that. He fervently hated it.) Her body tensed up, flinching at the sudden noise.

"Are you okay in there?"

Uncanny. He sounded so uncanny. She could imagine the smile plastered on his face. It was so unpleasant in her mind. He was rather tall... she could imagine him, slightly bending over. Leaning. Looming. She hated the mental image.

"I'm okay! Just... washing up a bit!"

She was lying. She was a terrible liar.

And she knew that he knew that she was lying.

"Are you lying to me? That hurts my feelings!"

There was a rough thud against the doorknob, causing Yumeno to jump. Backing up from the door, Yumeno fumbled with her phone. Someone had to pick up, anyone, anywhere.

Another rough thud landed against the door, and then, another thud. The screeching sounds of metal tearing through wood. Terror filled her lungs. Was he breaking down the door with a baseball bat?

She couldn't even scream, terror struck her, and it had paralyzed her.

"It's not fair. It's always "brother this" and "brother that". But never "I miss him." It's never "I loved my brother." It's never anything but complaints. Aren't you also tired of his hateful attitude, Yumeno?"

Through the jagged cracks in the door, she could see something. It no longer looked like the infamous brother she came to visit. Instead, the thing in the crack was something more... something worse. It looked more like a shadow than a person. A dark, deep shadow.

It was more like a nightmare.

"You know, no one else would take care of him. A useless, defenseless, unwanted child, who couldn't do anything but cry and watch as the one person who ever gave a damn slipped away from him and turn into nothingness."

It reached inside through the cracks made, sharp wood tearing through shadow arms, a thick and viscous red liquid pouring from the wounds, yet, it barely seemed to bother it. Reaching for the doorknob, it unlocked the door with a silent 'click', and pushed it open with a silent creak.

It was all shadow, with no discernible features on it, other than its piercing baby blue eyes and white smile.

Her voice quacked, weak and shaky. It felt lost in her throat for so long, and only a barely audible question could escape a terror seized throat.

"What... What are you..."

It paused, cocking its head to the side. It rolled on its shoulders unnaturally, its free shadowed claw raising to its chest. With a soft thud against its own chest, it hummed.

"I am whatever you believe me to be. I can be your best friend, your worst enemy, the grandmother on the street, a dead brother, a lost lover. I am whatever you believe me to be."

Lifting the bat in its occupied hand, it pointed the scrapped-up silver bat at the cowering girl on the floor. It watched silently as she squirmed and squealed, backing herself further into a corner. How stupid could someone be?

"Unless you want a name? A nameee. A.... naaame. I don't have one of those."

It bent down, its torso collapsing in on itself, contorting in odd, disturbing ways. Like a ragdoll that could breathe, walk, talk, and shift its shape and appearance. It poked Yumeno's chest with the bat lightly, still smiling, still contorting.

"I'd like one of those. A name means I'm a being. It makes me realllll. I want one."

Ramming the bat a little harsher into her chest, it leaned closer. It bent down more until its knee collided with the floor with a thud. Reaching out with its other hand, it ran shadowed claws along the base of the silver bat with a smile. Then, it leaned even further, its claws swiping the edges of her chin, giggling.

"... Do you like your name?"

Yumeno paused, trembling.

"W... What?"

"Do. you. like. your. name."

Grimacing, Yumeno looked away, fumbling with her hands nervously. She wasn't... sure. To be honest, her name was just... her name to her. Nothing special or noteworthy... just... a name.

"It's... okay? I mean, I don't hate it."

"But you don't love it?"

"Not particularly? But... it's a nice name."

Cocking its head to the side again, it moved the bat back slightly. Tilting again, it nodded slowly.

"Names are tricky. Especially when you don't have one."

Lifting the bat, it gently collided with her chin, watching as she grimaced.

"I want one. I like the name... Miyuki. I am Miyuki. It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

Whimpering, Yumeno's hand shakily leaned against the cold steel of the bat. Hesitantly nodding, she prayed it would be enough to make it back off.

Watching it as it stood up, twirling the bat in its hand, "Miyuki" peered down at her. She seemed so weak, so fragile, so frail. It almost made it coo, she looked so adorable.

"... you're really cute, Yumeno. Like a little bunny rabbit."

Extending its hand, Yumeno paused a moment. Then, hesitantly, she reached up, taking its hand with a trembling hand. Pulling Yumeno to the side, it watched as she stumbled out of the bathroom. Clenching onto the keys in her hands, she glanced at the keys and then back at that... thing. Miyuki?

However, it didn't move, simply staring at her. Unblinking, unmoving, simply... in shadow.

Her knees ached, shaking and trembling. She was so scared, so terrified... Yet, she stumbled towards the door. She didn't even have her phone on her anymore. She barely cared anymore. She just wanted to get out.

...

Spinning the bat in its hand, it started walking towards Yumeno slowly, smiling.

One step.

She was still fumbling with the keys... so many keys on this one key ring, how was she supposed to know which key was the right one?

Two steps. You're slow.

She just has to try all of them. She has to. She doesn't know what will happen to her if she can't.

Three steps. You're boring me.

It's not this one. It's not this one either. Her hands were trembling so badly. Maybe this pristine silver key is the one? Everything that isn't that off-white color was silver, so... maybe?

Four steps.

A soft 'click' sounded from the doorknob, and then, pressing down, the door swung open. The cold winter flooded the apartment door, kissing her skin like a fleeting summer fling in the summer sun, watching as the summer chills over and fades away-

Five.

A loud crack echoed against her skull, a sharp pain spreading down her spine. Her vision blurred as she stumbled forward, collapsing into the snow. The cold prickled her skin, a thick red flower blossoming into the snow beneath her. Her ears rang, her hands trembled, she wanted to scream, to cry.

crack!

Pain flooded her senses again, her body twitching with the force. Spots trickled in her vision, and crimson red blossomed even further in the snow. It was agony.

crack!

crack!

crack!

...

The snow reflected the silver of the baseball bat rather beautifully. And the red on the bat glistened on the snow so nicely. The pain was only numbing now, it hurt for a moment, sure. But, she felt so... at peace in the moment. She felt... a little tired.

"You don't look too good. That's a shame. You were so close."

...

Taking one step out, a brown leather loafer and black slacks entered her faded vision, and a familiar-looking beige coat. She could feel a hand on her shoulder, a slight pressure on her back.

...

Maybe she should take a small nap. She could... figure the rest out... later.

...

She wasn't sure when "later" would be though.

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - VJ / ???

Wonders

After VJ had finished talking to Morgana, he set off to hunt. By now he knew a few regions where there were a few deers. The sun was setting and his eyes had to be extra vigilant now.

And even the last rays of sun touching the horizon in the distance still make the autumn trees glow. Soon you might not be able to see your own hand in front of your eyes due to the darkness. But VJ didn't just want to go in search of a wild animal, he had recently found an old tree trunk with a bees' nest. And in the evening, the little insects are known to be calmer and less aggressive.

VJ is used to walking a lot, so he doesn't mind walking long distances. And his eyes work surprisingly well. A little further up a hill, there was a small, young stag that was about to eat some dry roots. VJ positioned himself so that the wind would not carry his scent to the animal and kept perfectly still. "Now it's your turn... Sorry".

He didn't hesitate for long, by now he had such a steady hand that he rarely missed his target. There were no distractions, so the shot was so precise that the animal fell down the slope after the hit. The little buck tried to get up, but the shot went straight through its neck. "Yes, oh boy! OK, I'll come and get you later, I just want to check on the bees".

The old tree trunk that housed a large bees' nest was far out, almost on the outskirts of the city. But people like to go that far to get something sweet. But to his regret, there was no honey to be had. Perhaps someone else had already helped themselves to it. But the bees like it when you leave them something, a bit of pollen… But then he suddenly heard a noise…

It rustled in the bushes, so VJ assumed that it was an animal. So he reached for his bow again and nocked the arrow. He drew the bow to shoot... "What the..."/ "for heaven's sake, please don't shoot!...". It clearly wasn't an animal, animals can't talk, usually... "Unbelievable, did you really want to shoot at us, VJ?"

VJ was completely surprised. He knew the people standing in front of him, at least he recognized some of them… "You can put that fucking thing down now, boy…" Of course VJ lowered his bow again. "Sorry, I just thought there was a bear or a fox…". The man with the hat was a little annoyed "very funny, there's no bears out here, boy"/"hey, who are you, Chuck Norris without muscles?"/"tz, if I didn't have a cracked rib, I'd laugh!"

The blonde woman being carried spoke in a trembling voice. "Is… Is that VJ?"/ "Yes, sweetie… He's standing in front of us with a bow and arrow"/ "Uh, VJ, can you… Take us home"/ "Blair?…"/ "I'm so tired…"/ "Are those chickens?". Again, the man with hat spoke in a strong voice. "She asked you a question"/ "um, sorry… Yes, of course, follow me, maybe to the hospital first?"/ "Yes, a good idea…", the other blonde woman answered…

The annoyed excited man's voice became calmer again. "It won't be long now, darling… then we'll be home again… Or what's left of it…"/ "Can you still carry me, Cy? You're in pain…"/ "I said I'd carry you until I can't anymore…". Blair cuddled her head against his chest, "hnhn, Chuck Norris, see, I told you so…".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this Part

Note: Staging this group picture was very fiddly, and I had to restart the game in between because I really wanted to have this awesome backpack in the game. It's from @aroundthesims , thanks for this great detail^^

@greenplumbboblover 😊

[basedkikuenjoyer]

This has been a really fun re-visit for me. I first read Memoirs of a Geisha around the time the movie was announced. It was still a relatively new novel in 2005, this was when I was really getting into anime, the film was pushed very hard despite not doing all that well. It was the first time I really noticed Michelle Yeoh and I remember being super excited to finally rent it only for my mom to be an annoying brat the whole movie because how dare I "make" her watch something "too foreign." (Read, I was happy to watch it in my room and she was bitter I was into something so girly) She got into the Noh scene here though. That's all I really want to say about the film, I like it but it misses a lot of what made the book one of the most impactful things I read as a teenager.

It's the story of a girl named Chiyo, later Sayuri, who was sold off into the traditional Gion pleasure district of Kyoto at a young age to become a geisha. We follow most of her life from a small fishing village to this famous entertainer. Punctuated with the Great Depression and WW2 happening during this time. Nice three-act structure; learning the ropes and dealing with the bitchy Hatsumomo, becoming a star with her mentor Mameha's help, the disruption of the war and picking up the pieces after. All woven together with a nice little romantic plot which was always the least interesting to me. Where it really shines is the imagery, the sense of place in Gion, and Sayuri as a narrator very much keeping that tone of a skilled conversationalist.

So let's get the controversy out of the way. Not the movie casting Malaysian and Chinese actors as Japanese characters...if you have an axe to grind there you're madder about it that the Japanese actors were. And it is banned in some Asian countries because it's partially about Japan in WW2 but usually highlighting how the protagonist is isolated from that. The real controversy was about the book. Author Arthur Golden was sued by one of the geisha he interviewed, Mineko Iwasaki, because he acknowledged her in the first release. She thought they had an agreement, powerful people in her life thought they saw stuff about them, she faced backlash and even death threats, there was a settlement out-of-court and she released her own "true" story. Which itself drew it's own criticism for likely lying in some parts for damage control. Her book is next on my list.

I'm going to be honest, it always felt like looking back that controversy was one of my first experiences with annoying twats trying to "cancel" something they don't like for dumb reasons while needing to convince themselves it's a righteous thing to do. You had a lot of people at the time who heard "geisha" and assumed it was a sordid tale about high-class prostitutes and there was an obsession over whether or not it was a true story despite always being clearly presented as historical fiction.

All that to say, like Narnia it bugs me when people let the noise become an excuse for ignoring a great story. It's very much a tale of a charming, smart girl using her wits to survive and get ahead in the world. The movie misses the mark because it's a little too obsessed with the beautiful aesthetics, but I always loved Chiyo as a character for being a little shit through and through. The book really captures that tone of her being used to all that. The way everything shifts around WW2 is absolutely excellent as well. Before that you hear things about cars and electricity spreading and all that but Gion itself feels so timeless. Then that world is ripped away.

Re-reading now, I get why this appealed to me so much. I was about 14/15 at the time and maybe not out yet but things were obvious enough I'd get caught up in the shitty social games of teenage girls plenty. Maybe that little bit of distance helped to see how what I was dealing with as the same. And being out for so long has definitely showed how important that type of poise and composure is in my life. Chiyo's never really a meek protagonist even if she has to fight back with a clever turn of phrase over slapping a bitch. The strength of her as a main character and the rich setting definitely make this a worthy read. I feel much stronger about that on a re-visit than I did back then.

[lonewolflink]

hi! before reading your fic I’d only ever watched one hockey match at my local mall (there’s an ice rink) and it shook me for real. after reading your fic my interest in hockey has resurfaced, but I have no idea where to start. any suggestions?

HELLO!!! i'm sorry this response is so damn late; it's been hectic af around here (here being...my life).

i am genuinely so excited that you're interested in getting into hockey. it is such a fun sport to be a fan of.

*warning*: this is a super long post, because i wanted to answer you thoroughly and make a list of useful resources in case anyone else reading wsc also wanted to get into watching hockey and wasn't sure where to start.

generally speaking, my recommendation is to familiarize yourself with the basic rules of the game, and then maybe pick a team to start following. being a fan is most fun once you start getting invested in the players on the team and know their stories, their connection to the community, etc.

—basic rules of the game—

there are some more (and less) useful guides online to getting into watching hockey. i'll link you a few; peruse at your leisure (and note that some of these posts are pretty old; they're still overall solid though).

(1) i think this short guide is might be the best place to start. it's just some guy on his own personal blog, i think, but that (weirdly) is what makes it a better take than more "official" sports journalism outlets.

(2) this is a really helpful (and fairly short) guide to the different zones of the ice and what they're called, and some other basic concepts of the game. i think it's directed at parents of kids who are starting to play hockey, but still super useful!

(3) this guide doesn't give a ton of detail but it's solid re: concrete basic steps to take to get into hockey.

(4) parts of this guide are outdated (e.g. brendan shanahan no longer runs the department of player safety and is instead the president of the toronto maple leafs) and it's a little pretentious in the way hockey fans can sometimes be, but it gives a sense of the flavor of being a fan of this sport i think.

(5) more on this below, but 2024 began with a bang, as the Professional Women's Hockey League (PWHL) began it's inaugural (!) season. there are some differences between the NHL and the PWHL, some of which are covered here and here. if you're interested in watching women's hockey, that'll be useful!

—picking a team and how to watch—

[note: i am assuming you live in north america. if you do not, some of this might not apply, e.g. picking a favorite team based on geographic proximity]

if you're starting at a baseline of 0 hockey knowledge, you should probably know the names of three hockey leagues: the National Hockey League (NHL, the best men's league in the world), the American Hockey League (AHL, the NHL's minor league where their young prospects usually play for a few years before transitioning to the majors), and the aforementioned Professional Women's Hockey League (PWHL, literally brand new as of a month ago).

NHL Recommendations

—the NHL is a great place to start for watching hockey, largely because it has the best players in the world so the level of play is extremely high and entertaining, and it has some really great personalities in the game right now. i watch the NHL regularly. —if you live in an area that already has an NHL team (or at least one within 2 hours of driving), i'd recommend starting out as a fan of that team. this is bc part of sports culture is to support your home/local team, but also because that gives you more opportunities to see your favorite team play in person. here's a list of all the NHL teams. —watching the NHL on TV or your computer is actually kind of annoying, because the league is run by a bunch of idiots in its bureaucracy. you can watch most games (but for some reason not all of them) if you have ESPN+. here's the nhl's official guide for how/where to watch. —i am a poor grad student so i use other...completely...legal...means to stream NHL games online. they are, as i just said, completely legal (...). but um. nonetheless, if you want to know how to find and use these means...maybe just...shoot me a private message. —if you don't have geographic proximity to any of the NHL teams, there are a few ways to pick a team to follow. some classics:

1. as you learn about hockey and watch some games, you might find yourself starting to have a favorite player. you can start with their team! [message me or send another ask if you want some recs for players to look into!]

2. pick the jersey you think is coolest. it's how kids pick their favorite teams half the time, so why not us? here's a link to an article that that ranks the current home jerseys of teams. i STRONGLY disagree with these rankings, but the photos of the jerseys are high quality so you can see them well. you can also see each team's away jersey and third/alternate jersey designs here.

3. pick a fun, up and coming team to follow. some notes on this: —for example, if i were you and could pick any team, i would probably not pick my very own favs the washington capitals. they were one of the dominant teams of the last 15 or so years because our captain is the greatest goalscorer of all time. however, he is now 38 (ancient by athlete standards) and the team is on its decline. —by contrast, a team like the edmonton oilers is super exciting to watch; they're considered current championship contenders because they have by far the best player in the world, connor mcdavid (aka "McJesus"). they're kind of a heart attack to watch because they have insane offense but not amazing defense, so they score a lot and get scored on a lot. they're a team with amazing history (wayne gretzky's dynasty oilers in the 80s), but were TERRIBLE for decades until mcdavid came around. he's trying to bring the franchise back to glory from the pathetic ashes it turned into. —then there's teams like the montreal canadiens or buffalo sabres, who have been really bad the last while but drafted a ton of great young players who are on the verge of becoming superstars. they'll probably not make the playoffs this year (and maybe not next year) but they'll be on the cusp soon and getting into a journey like that with a young team early on is super fun. —in general, teams i'd stay away from being a fan of, if you have a choice:

-washington capitals/pittsburgh penguins/st. louis blues (formerly top teams in the league, now on the decline) -toronto maple leafs (the most tortured fans (and also somehow the most annoying and entitled), don't join their ranks) -arizona coyotes/columbus blue jackets (disaster franchises (sorry fans of those teams! it's true!!) traditionally have been poorly run) -chicago blackhawks (they do have the next great superstar in connor bedard, but they've had some really messed up scandals in their organization and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth) -new york rangers/islanders (unless you're from nyc...don't)

—recs for current good teams if you want to come in when they're already hot, they're all pretty fun teams tbh: -carolina hurricanes -colorado avalanche (recent champions) -new jersey devils -florida panthers -seattle kraken -vancouver canucks -vegas golden knights (recent champions) -edmonton oilers

—recs for up and coming young teams that will break out in the next 1-4 seasons, i think: -anaheim ducks -buffalo sabres -detroit red wings -montreal canadiens (would be my pick, i low key love them) -ottawa senators

AHL Recommendations

it can be super fun to follow an AHL team if you happen to live near one. tickets to AHL games are SUPER cheap, and the arenas are smaller and more intimate. you get to see some really talented players early in their career before they become superstars, and this can also help you pick a favorite player to follow (and thereby, later, a favorite nhl team) for their career! i love going to AHL games, and did that a lot in high school.

here's the list of AHL teams.

PWHL Recommendations

tragically, i have been so busy in 2024 so far that i haven't been able to get into the PWHL yet. however, i'd really like to, once i have a bit more time.

because the league is in its infancy, there are only six teams: -boston -minnesota -montreal -new york -ottawa -toronto

they don't currently have team names outside of the cities, but i think those are coming next season. for myself, i already know i'm going to be a montreal fan (i lived there for 5 years, and montreal's hockey culture is in my opinion the best in the world).

the pwhl is great for many reasons. -first of all, women athletes. let's fucking go!!! -second of all, we get things like two fiancees playing on the same team (on the same line!!) and celebrating together when they score a goal. -third of all, women's hockey has traditionally had a different ruleset from men's hockey to discourage the more...violent aspects of the sport. but the PWHL...has been honestly violent af so far, at least from the highlights i've seen. could be that hitting is still against the rules, but seems like the refs don't really give a shit, so the games are bloodthirsty lol -fourth, and perhaps most importantly, it is super easy and convenient to watch the PWHL. they stream every (!) game on their youtube channel for free!

for more info on the season schedule and how to watch, look here.

also, speaking generally, i'll probably be reblogging some pwhl content on tumblr so you can peep some of the people i'm reblogging and poke around until you find a team or player you like! :)

OK THAT'S IT SORRY FOR THIS LONG ASS POST I JUST WANTED TO ACTUALLY DO YOUR QUESTION JUSTICE, HOPEFULLY I DID AN OKAY JOB!! PLEASE ENJOY YOUR HOCKEY JOURNEY!!!!!!!!!! <3

[tetsunabouquet]

Basic Instinct Chapter 9,5

A/N: Alright, the original Chapter 9 was apparantly so long, it needs to be split into 3 parts. I'm hereby posting part 2 of Chapter 9. Masterpost

As the two of you entered the arcade, you grinned. "I'm so happy I brought my wallet after all. I've got my membership card with me. You don't mind your points being added to my already existing ones, don't you?" You asked. Akashi quickly shook his head. "No, if anything, its even better." In his head, he had a clear picture in mind, of winning every game and scoring all the points for you on your card and name. That panda certainly wouldn't be the only plushy you'd be taking home tonight. And thus, he recharged your game balance to be worth about 200 games. 'I doubt we're going to be playing that many. I wonder if he actually wants me to have leftovers for a next time on purpose.' You smiled besotted at your boyfriend, as he led you alongside the neon-lit machines. "Do you have a favorite?" "Well, I really like air hockey. It's not worth a lot of points, but I always have fun! You're probably beating me the moment you get a hang of it though." You said, predicting your flawless boyfriend to be amazing at air hockey within no time. "Shall we see how well you hold out as an opponent then?" Akashi teased, and you giggled as you pointed towards the familiar tables. True to your prediction, he bested you alright, and you could have swore he allowed you to make your final goal. You groaned as you looked at the ominous red numers, 3 - 10. "How about you watch as I beat the next game." Akashi continued to poke fun at you, and he winked. You rolled your eyes. "Fine, let's see how hard your going to crush the basketball game. Perhaps seeing you wreck the machine might be fun after all." You were still slightly pouting from the defeat, you usually won from your friends whenever you went. He draped his arm around your shoulder with a grin, and the two of you practically melted against each other. "Let's see if I can break the machine." The flashy basketball game was in the back of the arcade. You were grateful you were going to watch it. You still remembered playing it yourself once and accidentally having the ball bounce back so hard against the machine it flew across the arcade, your face red as you hurried behind it. It had been epically humiliating. But not this time. The game was already being played by two boys you figured had recently graduated from highschool. They seemed a little too old to be highschool students and one vaguely smelt of beer, but their faces were too youthful and boyish to pass for young men. The guy you assumed was tipsy looked at the two of you approaching and chuckled. "Hey cutie, wanna see our moves?" He asked you, blatantly ignoring Akashi. "I'd like that," You answered, much to Akashi's surprise. He wanted to turn around, but before he could let out his heartbroken WTF, you smiled at him. "After all, I wouldn't be properly appreciative of how cool my boyfriend's moves are if I cannot compare them to an amateur first." He would have bursted out in laughter if it wouldn't have been provoking these boys even more. He did not want to get into a fistfight on his first date, but god, he was living for you roasting people on his behalf. It fed into his already gigantic ego, and made him feel like he wanted to puff his chest. So before one of the enraged boys could do or say something, he stepped forward. "Let's see who beats who. How about I play a one on one with each of you?" "Alright, but if one of us wins, cutie will stay with us." They both grinned sexually, but you weren't fazed at all, and whilst Akashi was annoyed, he wasn't terrified either. Both of you knew Akashi would win, even if it was his first time trying to play by the arcade's basketball system. If anything, you were excited to see their faces when Akashi would crush them. "Okay, but if I win, I get to pick a prize with your membership points for my girlfriend."

[rivilu]

I read your notes about DAQ on that wyll vs dorian post and i just could not agree more. Specifically the thing about krem you said, i absolutely hate how the game while trying to introduce trans friendly concepts just. Forcibly makes your character cis in association. Like no my inquisitioner would not say any of that shit!!! He is trans!!!! And you could tell that shit was not written by a trans person. I think they were trying to avoid using many trans specific words to fit in with the setting but like? "Why do you pass?" Is not a question that makes sense for someone to ask and i hate that theyre taking an existing trans term and trying to make it mean like....the entire concept of transitioning?? Idk i feel like i would be more ok if they could have you be like "oh dw i am also trans" but nah we as the player are just assumed to be cis. Also yeah as you said, inventing transphobia in a series where that wasnt present before, its annoying.

Oh dont get me started I could talk about my gripes with the handling of transness in dragon age (and particularly inquisition) forever. Actually do get me started this has been a long time coming.

i absolutely hate how the game while trying to introduce trans friendly concepts just. Forcibly makes your character cis in association

YEP. Yep yes exactly. your options are 'three flavors of being transphobic' or 'when did you know' . which is what i picked, because you can stretch your imagination a little at least.

But there's also this other tiny elephant in the room issue with Krem that i didnt mention in those tags. Or should i say. Bull in the room ? Because holy shit, way to take away the trans character's speaking voice and characterization so we get to know how much of an ✨Ally ✨the cis man bestie is! Like okay if you're being a transphobic shithead it makes a bit More sense that he'd get defensive and speak up for Krem, but when your question was 'when did you know', Krem answers 'when i was young. not a great thing to know about yourself' and then Bull immediately cuts in to cisplain transness is like? What was the Idea there. Which then makes the dialogue choices being 90% straight up transphobia MORE suspicious, because the game is letting you, almost pushing you to verbally harass Krem.. almost like he doesn't REALLY matter, he's just a vessel to see how Progressive And Trans Friendly And A Good Friend Bull is. Thanks, i hate it.

Even in terms of backstory Bull being Krems savior when he was trying to escape his life etc never really sat right with me. Like there's an underlying demsel vibe i feel the devs stuck in there that really irks me. Not helped by the fact that we dont have a trans voice actor. Also not helped by the fact that this is a fantasy setting with magic but some form of magic hrt? Nah too impossible. Like sure there's some implication that it MIGHT exist somewhere but because magic Bad in the dragon age setting and tevinter magic Even Worse he wouldn't go for it- Like ok. some people might prefer their trans realism in faux medieval media. even fantasy. Im not one of those people. And all those justifications read more like excuses to me. Like you're telling me the circles wouldn't be making BANK out of selling trans-your-gender potions and abusing the shit out of it? And just. Again this makes the setting retroactively much Worse because where before i could point to my warden or Hawke and go 'yeah that's a trans man via magic hrt' and someone who prefers trans realism could ALSO do the same when making theirs how they like. Vagueness in such matters allows for imagination! But now dai is saying noo they had to be cis. And your inquisitor also. Fuck that.

Also yeah as you said, inventing transphobia in a series where that wasnt present before, its annoying.

one tiny correction here. there were hints of transphobia in the first two games, but it was mostly contained in like. Oghren style aged like milk type humor. more meta than text i guess. like in the Pearl in game one if you ask to be surprised there's a chance you get the ever hilarious 'haha you got man in a dress' *crickets* And then Serendipity in mark of the assassin.. well the wiki says she's meant to be a drag queen. So not 100% related to this discussion. But the execution of her character just felt SO mean spirited to me when i was playing that i felt it needed to be mentioned as well. (So i just love her out of spite now. ) But anyway yeah. Out of all the lgbtq things dragon age touches on i feel like gender is one that they. dont really even try to tackle in good faith. And it just got worse as the games went on. I can handle easily skippable side gags that are shitty and unfunny. Inquisition tries to actually bring ATTENTION to the topic, and proceeds to fall flat on its face. Not to mention Sera. Them having one of the main companions being transphobic in banter.

Bioware when I catch you Bioware. Bioware when i catch you.

[turtlemagnum]

made 2 more threads on bluesky about Myself, here's one of them! warning, long!

q: first video game a: pirated spore on my dad's lap

q: favorite character a: undyne… how i love undyne…..

q: a game that is underrated a: the turok games on N64 and yugioh dark duel stories on GBC, the best yugioh video game adaptation because it doesnt follow the real rules at all

q: guilty pleasure game a: i don't feel guilty for having pleasure because i'm not fucking catholic

q: game character you feel most like (or wish you were) a: every day that passes is a day that takes me closer to becoming harry du bois from the hit game disco elysium the final cut

q: most annoying character a: i've never played the games but there's a little white haired boy from i think danganronpa(?) who always attracts the most insufferable people to choose him as a profile picture, so probably that guy

q: favorite game couple a: alphyne

q: best OST a: UTDR & PMD

q: saddest scene a: papyrus fight during a no mercy run

q: best gameplay a: celeste

q: gaming system of choice a: PC and switch because switch emulation isn't there yet

q: game everyone should play a: no good game is gonna be for everyone, so i can't really meaningfully answer this question

q: game you've played more than 5 times a: i'd assume this means like, start to finish, and the closest i can think of is that i've beaten skyrim and oblivion's main quests a few times each? i dunno i'm bad at finishing games (ADHD)

q: current (or most recent) video game wallpaper a: when i was a lot younger i had my ipod touch background as art of the hylian crest that was all like, cyan and burning and such, and i think that's the last time i remember having a dedicated gaming background on any device i had

q: post a screenshot from a game you're playing now a:

q: game with the best cutscenes a: i play games to play games, not watch movies

q: favorite antagonist a: flowey UTDR

q: favorite protagonist a: meeee =D

q: post a picture of a game setting you wished you'd live in a: i don't feel like posting any more pictures but i think the best game series to live in would probably be pokemon? mostly because it operates on logic where you're probably not gonna die from shit like hugging a slug that's the temperature of the surface of the sun or getting a million volts run through you by a magical electric rat, and if you know what you're doing even a 10 year old can become the most powerful person alive. imagine being an adult with a real world degree of intellect! i'd build a champion tier pokemon team easily, make a living off of that AND i'd meet people & make friends through it. plus, have you seen all the women? i'm gonna professor oak some milfs, i swear

q: favorite genre a: i'm not sure i have a favorite, but i probably spend most of my time in open world games and RPGs

q: best story a: undertale & fallout: new vegas. both appeared in my life at a deeply young, formative age and i've never been the same since

q: sequel that disappointed you a: honestly? totk. i think a big part of it is just how similar the overworld is, and at this point in my life i'm not really that big of a fan of the whole "create your own fun" thing that it took basically wholecloth from gmod and such. i probably would've loved it to death when i was a kid, though

q: best art style a: probably botw/totk

q: favorite classic title a: majora's mask babey!!! probably my favorite zelda game, and i fuckin love zelda

q: a game on your list to play a: pathologic classic HD

q: best voice acting a: oblivion

q: most epic scene a: hashtag epic hashtag awesomesauce…

q: favorite game developer a: probably a tie between nintendo and valve

q: game you were surprised you liked a: the first FPS game i ever played was CoD, and i fucking hate that style of shooter but since it was my first shooter i thought i just hated shooters, but then i played tf2 and hl1 and iliked both and was surprised about that so yeah, turns out that i don't dislike shooters, i just dislike mediocre military propaganda

q: favorite game of all time a: peggle 3 for nintendo gamecube (i can't reduce complex pieces of art to something as simple as "favorite")

[loycspotting]

11. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Serpent's Kiss (1997)

Fun Fact! If you're a fan of the "Long Way" motorcycle series with Ewan and his best friend Charlie Boorman, then you'll be pleased to know that their friendship began on this movie! Charlie has a minor role in the film as a secretary. He and Ewan met while filming and bonded over their love of motorcycles. The rest is history!

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rating: R

Director: Philippe Rousselot

Starring: Pete Postlethwaite, Greta Scacchi, Carmen Chaplin, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: "The Serpent's Kiss" is about the Smithers family. Mr. Smithers wants to give his wife the gift of a garden so he hires a top-notch landscaper that his in-law recommends to him. Mrs. Smithers isn't very interested in the garden but prefers games and tricks. Specifically those she can play on people. Their daughter, Ann/Thea, is a peculiar girl. She reads far too much and gets along better with nature than people. While her mother indulges her, her father worries for her health and hires a physician to "cure" her or her abnormalities. Once the young landscaper arrives, it becomes evident that he is not just there to build a garden, but to use his expertise to exact revenge for his secret employer.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Meneer Chrome who is a famed Dutch landscaper. He takes a job in England with the goal of transforming the overgrown lawn of the Smithers family into a one-of-a-kind, modern, garden. As he works on the project, he becomes interested in his boss's eccentric daughter while her mother becomes interested in him. Ewan speaks in a Dutch and English accent for this role but mainly Dutch. I'm not familiar with Dutch accents but I'm going to be bold and say that his was terrible. It annoyed the crap out of me! I couldn't take it seriously, it was forced, and completely took me out of the movie every time he opened his mouth. I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more if he didn't have to use that god awful accent. He has a female love interest and two kiss scenes. One is with a man and the other is with a woman . He also does some flirting with his boss's wife. There's an implied sex scene and implied nudity. You do get to briefly see him shirtless though. He wears a wig and you also get to see the worst haircut he has ever had in a movie to date. His performance isn't very good. There were a couple moments where it felt like I was listening to him recite lines from a paper. It didn't seem like he was all in for this project but decided to coast through. This might be a nit-pick but it's not a spoiler: not long after we meet his character he randomly tosses his wig off for no discernable reason and he never puts it back on. Nobody says anything about it. All the men of high class wore wigs in the movie so I assumed for a man to walk around wigless in front of high society would be deemed offensive. Anyway, I don't know what the point of that scene was.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 44/106 minutes making his SP 42%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? No. Although he is in much of the movie, he just doesn't do a lot nor is he interesting. Honestly, the character is boring. I wouldn't turn this on for Ewan. Is the movie worth watching in general? Sadly, it's another no from me. In all fairness, it's so weird that it charmed me a little but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I don't know what audience this movie was made for.

Warning before Watching: There is a whole incest subplot in the movie. There aren't any sex scenes or anything but the movie makes sure you know they're related so keep that in mind. In a scene where Thea is overcome with emotion she intentionally cuts her face. The scenes of her being "cured" of her "illness" by the physician could also be uncomfy to watch. There's nothing graphic but you do hear her scream in pain and just the general treatment of this character is sad. Lastly, you see someone die from poison.

Where to Watch: "The Serpent's Kiss" is available to stream for free on Tubi, Sling TV, Redbox, Amazon Prime Video, and Freevee. It's also currently uploaded for free to YouTube. Just search "The Serpent's Kiss Full action Movie Drama Ewan McGregor".

[gofancyninjaworld]

I've been really annoyed at a lot of takes I see on Reddit and couldn't put my finger on why, but today I realized it's because they have a lot of snobbery towards shounen and assume ONE is making fun of every element of it. which I don't think is true. he pokes fun for sure, but I see a lot of "he's deconstructing the shallow shounen trope of blah blah and ridiculing it" which feels excessively mean. Most of the time someone presents the trope being "deconstructed," it's something shounen already handles with nuance. So it's extra annoying because it sounds like people who don't actually read shounen and just assume everything in OPM is ridiculing it. OPM is definitely subversive, but idk. It reminds me of how people who read "real literature" scoff at YA fiction as if there's no way it could ever tackle nuanced themes. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I guess I just dont wanna think of ONE as being so petty and snobby. What do you think? Maybe i'm too sensitive

Talk about a late, late reply. Sorry!

It's a good observation. I'm not the right person to talk about shonen in detail because I tend to dip in and out of individual titles so there's a lot of nuance I do miss, but you're right, people who dislike a genre tend to lump all its tropes together into an undifferentiated mass.

A slight digression as I introduce you to Boulet, a fantastic French comic strip artist, has a splendid comic collection online (https://english.bouletcorp.com/). Sadly, I'm unable to find the specific strip I have in mind but in it he's imagining how vastly different films would feel if you just kept the camera rolling a little longer. So we get to the aftermath of the Ewoks's victory and see these cute critters dragging the corpses of the Stormtroopers away, mocking some of them... really changes the feel of it. The thing that's different about ONE's handling of shonen tropes in One-Punch Man isn't that he deconstructs them per say -- he loves shonen stories and really has put a lot of thought into how they work -- it's that he keeps the camera rolling. What happens then? So what? What happens as a result? And then? That's what makes it feel like a deconstruction and also serves as the springboard for its seinen genre...

More seriously though, One-Punch Man isn't a parody at its heart: it has a lot of parodic elements but its focus isn't a genre -- it's got bigger things to tackle. ONE does remind me of Terry Pratchett in a way: the Discworld series may have started out as parodies of common fantasy tropes but they quickly outgrew that purpose and the stories became much richer explorations of various aspects of human nature, all while staying fantastic and funny.

I tend to say that ONE parodies heroes -- he loves the weird, contradictory, earnest people who step forward when everyone else avoids trouble and there's a lot of affection for them even as he pokes fun at some of the silliness the superhero genre has thrown up. He satirises corporate culture, and there's a lot of horror that's just put out there without comment for the smart reader to notice and piece together.

It does get annoying when there's fans who claim it can all be understood at a high level and that it needs must be a zero-sum game: if you like OPM, you must disparage the 'standard shonen'. Fortunately, one can simply... ignore the fools. I know I do!

Life is short. You won't stay young forever -- unproductive discourse is something to cut hard and early out of one's life!

[xiaoyunenigma]

Last game (TFA MegaOp)

A/N: I'M HAVING A MELTDOWN WITH @pastelpaperplanes art of all of them MegaOp hwshehsh so um-um this is for you? 👀😩😫❤️✨

I'm SORRY IF IT'S A LITTLE ANGSTY IASBEHSHAHZG IT CAME TO ME OUT OF NOWHERE HSSHWHSH BUT DON'T WORRY, I PREFER A CRACKHEAD CHAPTER IF ANYTHING SO THERE WILL BE ONE... I think? HSGDGDGEGE😩✨❤️

Enjoy?

---

Standing before his cell, Optimus fought the urge to walk away from the scene as he saw the usual dirty grin from the warlord himself.

To think that he was tasked on guarding the notorious Decepticon leader cell for the night.

...Optimus was still processing that thought as he stood before the transparent container.

'I'm a repair bot, not an Elite Guard!' he said to himself. But alas, he obliged because he really didn't have any choice.

Sentinel placed him on duty after several guards had been reported injured or traumatised to the point that they had to replace the normal cell into a hardened glass one. No one dared to take on the offer of looking after the beast, so Optimus had to fill in.

(Sentinel vetoed his way on this one, as always.)

"Why, I didn't think I'd see you again so soon!" Megatron remarked, shackles clanging loudly as he moved to face the smaller mech. "One would assume that I'm the last person you'd ever wanna met, but clearly I've been mistaken."

Optimus kept quiet. He didn't know how to begin his sentence. The Prime had initially wanted to move on and let Sentinel take over this...mess, but a part of him held onto the last battle with Megatron and wasn't quite ready to part ways yet.

So yes, Megatron was partly right on his swords.

"Cat's got your glossa, Optimus?"

"So you DO remember my name!" Optimus's words came right out before he could stop himself as he snapped his helm towards the prisoners.

"And you finally spoke. Congratulations." Megatron retorted nonchalantly, all the while maintaining his aloofness.

"I-I - It's not-"

Watching the young fledgling before him making a fool out of himself, the warmonger decided to entertain the mech for the day.

"Ahem! L-Let's just get back to the topic, shall we?" Optimus cleared his voice box and spoke, narrowing his bright blue optics at Megatron. "You understand the...procedures tomorrow, yes?"

Tomorrow was the grand finale; Megatron's trial. The very day where the silver warlord shall face his charges against all of Cybertron's council members broadcasted for everyone to see.

"And if I decline being in the spotlight?"

"You don't get a choice in this, Megatron." Optimus hissed, taking a step forward. Little did he know, the chained down beast was all but toying with him in his digits.

"Then, pray tell, what must I do for tomorrow's... celebration?" Megatron rolled his optics, slouching back onto his berth.

Optimus faltered in his moves again, unable to speak. Though it was in his spark to capture the wrongdoer before him, it didn't sit right with him.

To know that Megatron would MOST LIKELY be sentenced to death penalty, he should be relieved.

...Unfortunately, his spark said otherwise.

"Done staring, young scout? Or are you in awe of my stature and perhaps wishes to admire longer, which in this case, I'd say you're doing so." The warlord's words snapped something inside Optimus and he lunged, slamming both servos on the glass screen as he glared at Megatron.

"Will you quit being so annoying!?"

"Ah, and the kitten bares its fangs at last." Megatron humoured, giving Optimus a tiny wave with his chained servos.

"Stop. Talking. " Optimus seethed.

"You're not saying anything, and the silence has been chipping my processor away like scraplets on metal. Be thankful that I'm ACTUALLY speaking, Autobot." Megatron dully left out the fact that he would choose Optimus over Starscream's screeching anyday, but that would be inappropriate for both of them.

Sighing, Optimus rubbed his tired optics and dragged a chair from behind before sitting down, facing at his nemesis.

"What? You're on a night shift?"

"Can you just shut up already!?" Optimus growled, trying his very best to not strangle the mech.

Megatron's smirk got wider as he saw how easily it was for Optimus to break. Comparing with the rest of his guards, this little one was, by far, the most entertaining one.

"As you wish then." Megatron shrugged, closing his optics as and laid back on the wall, crossing both arms in front of him with his legs over one another.

Several minutes passed by and Optimus caved in to the sheer amount of awkwardness, regretting his decisions earlier.

"Y-You...bored?" Optimus murmured, playing with his digits.

Megatron scoffed and turned to his left, ignoring the blue and red mech on purpose.

Flustered, Optimus pursed his dermas and chewed the insides of his cheeks.

"Well then. Stay quiet, I guess."

.

.

.

"This is stupid. Just kill me already. Skip the trial and exucute me, you fools!" Megatron raised his voice, glaring at the Prime.

"That's the easy way out; you don't deserve it." Optimus coolly replied, further irking the silver Decepticon.

"The council is just wasting everyone's time! That....blue and yellow bastard wants to use me as an attraction. I'm a Decepticon, not a lion for a parade!" Megatron huffed.

"You mean Sentinel? I mean, he is egoistic, but I'm sure it's not like that." Optimus said, but his voice proved otherwise. Knowing his narcissistic friend, the mech would do ANYTHING for attention and a spot on the high council.

Groaning, Megatron shuffled out of his flat berth and stood before Optimus. He placed a servo on the glass pane, watching Optimus with his taunting gaze.

"What are you doing?" Optimus asked, raising an optic ridge. "You should know that the Elite Guards have just installed an electrified on these, right? Not afraid of getting a jolt?" he challenged.

"I've fought monsters and over throw governments for Eons. You think that a measly shock would-OW!" Megatron retracted his servos and flicked them a few times, trying to cool the stinging sensation from the seemingly innocent glass cell.

"WHAT THE FRAG WAS THAT!?"

"I told you; electrifier." Optimus smiled.

Growling, Megatron stood tall as he tried to intimate the guard, but Optimus wasn't a tad bit bothered.

.

.

.

.

.

"Can you at least show some fear on your faceplate? This is humiliating."

"No. But I can offer you one thing." The Prime said, catching Megatron's attention.

"What?"

"A game." Optimus remarked. "To past time, if you want. Or you can go into recharge, get some rest. I don't know." he fiddled with his digits again, not meeting the warlord's optics.

Thinking for a brief moment, Megatron narrowed his ruby optics before letting out an audible sigh, relenting to the tiny bot's wish.

"What do you have in mind?"

---

TIMESKIP.

"OKAY, NOW THAT'S CHEATING!"

"IT'S NOT! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!"

"YOU CAN'T KEEP WINNING THIS, YOU AUTOBOT SLAG!"

"HEY, WHAT DID WE TALK ABOUT LANGUAGE!?"

Optimus and Megatron were bantering back and forth, staring at the holographic chess as they bicker loudly.

"What in the PITS?!" Megatron roared as he saw his Bishop was taken away by Optimus's Knight. "Okay, that's just slag!"

"Come on, let's end this." Optimus sighed, making a move with his Rook.

Megatron perked up as he saw his chance of overthrowing his enemy. Gesturing his servos, he made his final move.

"Checkmate." Megatron declared, displaying his signature smirk yet again.

Optimus blinked twice as he saw his King was cornered by Megatron's Queen and Rook.

"Scrap! I didn't notice that!" he clicked his glossa, frustrated.

"Pfft, this is merely child's play to me. After all, I am the master of tactical practice."

"Seconds ago, you were whining about me killing off your Bishop, but go off I guess." Optimus teased, resetting the game for them.

"Oh shut it, you had your fair share of glitching too. Remember when I stole your Queen away?"

"Yeah, but I won that round."

"Tsk. You won only twice. It's 5 over 2, young one."

"Maybe I could turn the tables around then. Another round?" Optimus smirked, lifting his white pawn forward. Megatron was about to move his when a group of Elite Guards walked in.

"Sir, we're here to take him away. It is time."

That made Optimus's spark stop. Checking his internal chronometer, he realised it was already the 0800 hour, and they had two hours to prepare Megatron for his trial.

"I win, Optimus." Megatron said softly as he got up, letting the guards secure him in more shackles and chains. Facing the smaller Prime one last time, Megatron fought the urge of pleading for another moment with him despite knowing that this is his last game.

"You won..." Optimus breathed out as he watched the large mech being brought away. Leading him to his gallows were the guards of unknown names, and a part of Optimus wanted to be there for Megatron.

With one last glance, Optimus raised the King's chess piece towards Megatron's direction.

"Checkmate?" he asked.

"Checkmate." Megatron smirked.

Megatron may won the game, but the Autobots won the war.

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[littlesniggy]

Hi! How are you doing? I'm the anon who asked for the underage character and yes, obv I wasn't thinking about any nsfw since he is underage ^^ So can I ask you a scenario for Dellinger x fem reader? His reaction when a stranger try to flirt with her, and she's clearly uncomfortable with the situation

Thank you, hope you're having a nice day :3

Hey Anon! Thank you so much for requesting for Dellinger. First time writing for him and I think I'm not quite sure how he'd behave just yet but it's not too shabby either. I hope you enjoy it! Dellinger is a little shit but we all know this. If you are in a relationship with him, be prepared for a lot of questionable things lol.

Warning: maybe mention of blood, mild swearing

Pairing: Dellinger x female reader

Word count: 1.6k

You two haven’t been dating for long yet and it was your very first relationship. To think it would be with someone like Dellinger surprised even you. Especially since you had no idea he would actually feel the same way about you in the first place. He was like an odd-ball: either hit or miss and luckily for you it was a total hit. It had taken all your courage to tell him how you felt; you’ve always been on good terms and had a lot for fun together, even if you not always agreed with the way he loved to torture his enemies (or even his allies).

“You like me, Y/n? Of course, you do!” he laughed and put his arm around your shoulder, looking at you with an excited yet shit eating grin. “You’re fun to hang around, too! Wanna be my girl?” and that’s how you two started dating. It’s been challenging from time to time, peculiarly when it came to other boys looking at you. You never thought of him as being the jealous type but in hindsight you could’ve presumed as much; he didn’t like to share his stuff, he got mad when he wasn’t the center of attention, let alone when he got ignored, and he loved showing his things off to others. So, it was only natural for him to be protective over you.

“Ne, Y/n! Where you going? Why aren’t you asking if I want to come with you?” you heard his voice behind you, close to your ear. You jumped a little in surprise at his words, turning around to look at his naturally hungry looking eyes and the same old grin on his lips. “I didn’t think you would want to come with me. Told you I’d go to town and look for this book I’ve wanted for a long time. Remember? Your answer when I first asked you yesterday was: “As long as it’s not book with pictures of people getting tortured or some magical book where I can summon a gigantic beast, I’m out.”. Ring any bells?” you quoted him, crossing your arms in front of your chest, grinning at the young man in front of him.

“I’ve changed my mind. Let’s go!” and with that he grabbed your hand and lead the way. Stunned, you followed your boyfriend, wondering what has gotten into him all of a sudden. But you’d get your answer sooner than later…

At the book store you had chosen to look for the wanted item were a lot of people; women, man, children, toys – it seemed like everyone from this kingdom was here today and you could barely look at any of the books, let alone move forward to the section where you assumed the book to be. Surprisingly, Dellinger didn’t complain once; he had his hands crossed behind his head and was even whistling! What was wrong with him today?

A sudden shove had you bump into some guy standing next to you. “Oh, I’m sorry.” You apologized and lifted your hands as well as a sign you didn’t mean to. “Oh, no worries. It’s not too often a pretty young lady tries to flirt with me.” He laughed and you chuckled awkwardly. “Oh, I wasn’t trying to-“

“I’m just joking. I know you it was an accident.” He winked at you. Relieved you gave him a genuine smile, apologized once more and tried to make your way over to your destination.

“That was a weird guy, right?” you mumbled. When you were given no response, you turned around and saw – no one; at least no one you knew. “Dellinger?” you called out but couldn’t make him out in the crowd. With a shrug, you moved on, assuming he’d probably gotten annoyed and was now waiting outside or doing God-knows-what.

While looking at the different book titles in hopes of finding the one you felt as if someone was looking at you intently, and it made your body shiver. An uneasy feeling became more and more present in the pits of your stomach. As a consequence, you decided to slowly turn around and be prepared to find some old creepy man eye your body.

You were relieved to see it was not an old man but your relief turned into concern when the guy watching you turned out to be the same guy from earlier. He was holding a book in his hand and acted all surprised to see you here as well, smiling at you and putting the book away. From where you stood you couldn’t get a clear look on the title but you were pretty sure he wasn’t actually reading this book.

“And here we meet again. One could think you’re following me.” He said this cheesy line and you wanted to vomit but didn’t dare to upset him. Where was Dellinger anyway? He was always over you when anyone even seemed to be interested in you in the slightest. And now, that someone was actually flirting with you, he was nowhere to be found.

“It seems more like you are following me.” You said in a polite yet distant tone. “What makes you think that?” he asked, crooking his head to the side. You pointed behind him to the book shelf where he had put the book. “Cause either, you have a baby on the way and need some last-minute advice from a book since the section over there is for parents to be or, which is much likelier, you just pretended to read it.” You said, putting the book you were holding back in its place again. Your eyes flashed over the spines of several books but it seemed like you had no luck in finding the wanted one here.

“I guess you got me.” He admitted. You turned your gaze over to him again, seeing him practically stare at you. There was a silence after this for a while and it made you feel even more uncomfortable. What did he want?

“Well, is there anything I can help you with then? Since you made all this effort to follow me?” Please say no and just leave, you thought to yourself.

“Would you go on a date with me?” he straight out asked and put you on the spot. You weren’t the best at turning people down but in all fairness, it rarely happened anyways. “I…I have a boyfriend.” You said, sounding not very convincing.

“You don’t have to lie to me. Don’t be shy, I won’t bite. Besides, ever since I first saw you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Please, give me one chance to prove myself to you.”

Anxiety took over more and more and you stepped a step back, bringing some more distance between the two of you. “No, really. I’m in a relationship.” And what do you mean ever since you first saw me? That was five minutes ago…”

“Maybe it’s not the first time I’ve seen you. I’m just saying; please give me one chance and I swear I won’t disappoint you.” He tried again, trying to reach for your hand, a warm smile on his lips that creeped you the fuck out.

All of a sudden, there was a different hand grabbing his and the guy winced a little. “Ouch, what the-“ but he was cut off when he looked at a maniacally grinning Dellinger, showing off his sharp teeth. “Didn’t you hear what she said? She’s taken.” He chuckled, his grip almost crushing his wrist. “Let go, man! Damn, it hurts! What’s your problem?!” he complained, trying to pry his hand off of his wrist. “What my problem is? I really, reeeeally want to tear you apart and see drown in your own blood.” A high-pitched giggle accentuated his threat and the guy’s face turned white, finally recognizing the young, flamboyant officer of the Donquixote family in front of him.

“I give you ten seconds to get out of here and never show your face in front of her or me again, understood?” he whispered, his eyes glowing red, hoping the guy would defy him. But he was way too scared and took the first chance Dellinger gave him to get out of there.

You watched the guy run for his life before you hooked your arm into his, smiling up at him. “Thanks.” You said. “How dare he try anything like this.” Dellinger cursed. “You shouldn’t have left me here in the first place. Where did you go?” you demanded to know. Your boyfriend’s grin became wider and realization slowly hit you.

“You knew what was going on.” You stated dryly and he couldn’t suppress the small giggles. “Did you also know he had seen me before?” your suspicions were confirmed with his next sentence. “Ever since we went to this stupid café two weeks ago.” You weren’t overly excited hearing this from him. “Did you also know he would come here today?”

“You know I hate book stores. Might as well make the whole thing fun to me.” He chimed, already pulling you out of the store.

“I can’t believe you! So, instead of telling me about this, you just watch him flirt with me and ask me out? And now you even let him get away with it?” your voice grew louder and louder, almost furious at his little stunt. Your anger, however, vanished within the next second.

“Who said I’d let him get away…?” If death had a name, it would most certainly be Dellinger. This boy will rip the other guy’s guts out and eat every single piece of him. This little game was just to fuel his anger and get the revenge you both deserved.

[surferboypizzas]

rank the main st kids from most annoying to least annoying- i sent this ask to another st blog too. compare notes 🤨

ok i'll be your lab rat but i need you to know that i care about all of them, and that i have the emotional complexity it takes to love someone and also hate them. also i'm assuming in this theoretical they are babysitter-needing age not 14 or whatever.

El Hopper. She would be a joy to be around. I cannot think of one single thing she could do that I would find annoying.

Will Byers. Not at all annoying- but I feel like if I was sent over to babysit little ol' William he would just be silent. He would barely speak. Like if I said "Do you want to pick a movie to watch?" at eight he would say "Oh, no I've gotta go to bed at nine. Maybe a show." And I'd say "Cool. I mean it is Saturday so if you pick a one and a half hour movie that would be fine. You could do that." And he'd refuse. You're twelve, sir, you're too young to be tired enough that you are actively excited to sleep at night. He's equally as mentally unwell as Mike, but Mike would take his emotions out on me and Will would bottle them up inside.

Max Mayfield. Definitely wants me to french braid her hair. In an ideal world she would think I was ~cool~ and look up to me or whatever but in all honestly I think she would find me lame. Would a swear a shit ton. Thinks she's too old to need a babysitter but instead of acting all rebellious because of that she acts like we're peers. We aren't on the same level kid, ya mom left me in charge. So I get to put the closed captions on the movie we're watching, and you're gonna have to deal with it! If Billy was going to arrive home before her parents Max would probably try to shove me out the door in fear of Billy killing and/or hitting on me.

Lucas Sinclair. Would beg to eat out, say he'll pay for his own food, then forget his wallet. And, yes, I would have payed for his stupid hamburger and onion rings because I'm a softie that's easily swayed, ok? It also turns out that "coincidentally" three other kids he knows are here with some other babysitter and he dragged me here just to hang out with them. The audacity. But I guess it's fine, loser. Your little sister is funnier anyways.

Dustin Henderson. At first babysitting Dustin would rock because we have similar loser interests and are the same enneagram type and all that jazz. He also has that turtle. That's pretty sick. And Claudia always leaves pizza money. The easiest night of babysitting ever, right? Until the little twerp keeps complaining about you only being here because this random dude named Kleve or whatever was busy playing in an important basketball game. Then Dustin would go on about how originally he was supposed to be at that basketball game but then his mom's old friend came in from out of town and now he's stuck here with me. He'd be all whiny about it. "If only there was a way I could make it to Steve's basketball game!" Then I would take him out of pure irritation, recognize Steve from that time when I was babysitting Lucas, and internally declare him as my mortal enemy. There's only enough room for one babysitter in this here town, pardner. And it sure as hell isn't gonna be you.

Mike Wheeler. I'm so sorry Michael but fuck. I know you don't want to be babysat, I know you are angry that I'm here instead of your sister who apparently "became a bitch" (as you put it so eloquently) or whatever, and I know you had a "important mission that could have saved [my] ass from confronting [my] own mortality." But I needed gas money (because I think in this theoretical I'm like 16 or whatever babysitting age is and probably don't have another job), and Mrs. Wheeler needed a last minute babysitter. So shut up and go reheat the left over pot roast in the fridge yourself while I hang out with your adorable little sister, because Karen said I was the boss. Bummer, I guess you better suck it up and save my mortal ass another day you little devil man. Like- God I know it sucks you missed your D&D game (I assume you're talking about D&D and they're aren't actually monsters coming to kill us, haha) you seem overly invested in, but work with me here for once. Anyways, the joke here is that the world would be ending, and he would probably just sneak out his bedroom window. But before that he would try to start a fight with me and I would indulge him because that kids gotta take out his raging undiagnosed (because it's the 80s) mental problems out on someone.