#it is MIDDAY NOON THE SUN IS HIGH DANI

[mumms-the-word]

funny story while I wrap of a fic to post tomorrow

Dani is my Chaos Tav and when I say the girl loves a heist the girl LOVES a heist

Idk if you know but behind the Counting House in the city there are some docks patrolled by guards with loads of treasure on the docks and in ships and so on

Well such a treasure trove is a siren call to poor Dani, who can’t look at a pile of jewelry without getting the itch to go all grabby hands

So, of course, she plans a heist

And by heist I mean Gale and Karlach watch from a safe distance while Dani and Astarion cast Greater Invisibility on themselves and sneak around, picking locks or picking up whole chests and generally stealing anything that looks remotely valuable

The team collectively only ended up killing one guard, the one that was posted at the far side of the docks near a watch tower (it was kind of an accident) and after that they tried to throw the body into the water to get rid of the evidence but failed (the game prevented me for some reason) so Gale and Karlach were awkwardly in charge of babysitting a dead body for a while

But we kept everyone else alive! Because they’re good(?) people.

Anyways Dani and Astarion end up in…well, a bit of a tight bind. They each have about 2 turns left on their invisibility spells and there’s no way they’re going to make it back to safety without alerting the guards

Dani takes a chance. She goes to a spot where she thinks she’ll be safe enough to recast invisibility so she can run back to her boyfriend and Karlach. Meanwhile Astarion makes it over to a beach, because they’d heard tell of buried treasure there

Dani gets spotted?? And suddenly it’s fighty fight time but she manages to turn invisible so she just skeddadles. Pockets jingling with jewelry and coin, I imagine, so idk how she was being sneaky about it. But the combat ended so that was nice.

Astarion, meanwhile, attempts to dig, only to have the dig action break his invisibility, so (after a reload, there were several reloads lol) he casts fog cloud to hide himself so he can dig up the treasure in peace

Y’all. This game is so silly. Not a single guard was like “huh weird that there’s this random FOG CLOUD that appeared, almost like magic? And didn’t we just see a blue girl with horns a second ago? Whatever just a normal day in Baldur’s Gate” like…sir??

Anyway Astarion dug up the treasure (which wasn’t even worth the hassle tbh, like it was low low level loot) and then…oh no. I’m out of invisibility potions and Astarion can’t cast invisibility on himself again. I don’t have any scrolls. I’d have to get Dani over there! What do I do??

Well. It’s a silly silly game, so my solution? We just fast traveled to a waypoint.

This heist literally consisted of two goobers invisibly picking locks and stealing chests, getting spotted, casting fog cloud, and then teleporting away.

So it was a success basically lol

Oh yeah and they would occasionally send chests to Karlach when they got over-encumbered by, you know, literal metal chests so while Gale and Karlach are watching this circus scene play out, I just imagine there are just chests appearing nearby one at a time

and idk maybe Gale is rethinking having fallen in love with Dani or maybe he’s just impressed who knows

Thanks for reading take a Dani and Gale for the road