#it is 4am and i do not edit my rants

[lycorid]

I really wish more of the internet would follow in Pixiv's step in requiring generated images to be labeled as A.I. There's definitely some that get missed, but overall it improves the experience when you can filter them out.

I think it's especially important for online markets, such as Etsy, as hiding the nature of your product is inherently deceptive. Sellers are putting things up with the claims that they're "original" and "custom made" while also charging prices you'd expect from something actually hand-made.

!!!Fucking long post warning!!!

Looking for references, especially looking for Live2D specific references to see how others accomplish what I'm trying to do, very quickly leads me to a pit of generated trash. Generally you can add before:2023 to avoid any generated images (except in the similar images below) but that cuts out a lot of useful material when you're working with a relatively new program that updates regularly.

So naturally, I find a lot of people selling their services, specifically on Etsy. I'm sure it exists plenty on other sites that don't require sellers to disclose if something was generated by A.I or not, but I occasionally browse Etsy so it gets recommended to me the most often and is the website I'm most familiar with anyway.

There is, of course, always the possibility that I'm wrong and that the artist truly made some mistakes. However, I am fairly confident in the images I'll be scrutinizing in this post, hence I'll be posting the full photos. Don't be a jackass and go harass this person. Being a dick accomplishes absolutely nothing. If you really want to make changes, push for stores to require A.I use to be disclosed.

So, disclaimer out of the way, here we go.

How do I spot A.I?

We are long past the days of "just look at the hands lmao" when it comes to generated images. A.I is a lot more sophisticated now and can produce fairly coherent, detailed images that don't require much tweaking to pass as real. However, you need to remember that A.I is not human and cannot form the same thought processes a human does. I'm not going to explain what that means because you can just read the links below or go learn about how image generation works yourself from your desired source.

AI Image Generation Explained: Techniques, Applications, and Limitations

AI for Image Research in Art and Architecture

So, if generated images have been trained on so many real images that they are nearly indistinguishable from something created by hand or a photograph taken by phone, how do you tell if something was created by A.I?

If you're not familiar with what to look for, it's a much more time consuming process. If you are, it's heavily vibes based. I'll talk about the former since it's much more useful then just telling you "I just know lmao."

So we'll start with some that I've found on Etsy.

Model 1

Hands use to be the meme, and image generators do still struggle a bit with them, but the real places to look is the hair, the eyes, and the jewelry (or any hyper detailed object.)

You can see where the program struggled here. Somehow, this hair strand that is sitting in front of the ear is behind the dangling cross. In fact, it's actually merging with what would be the chain or piercing that holds the earring. This is incredibly common in generated images; the machine gets confused and merges objects.

The thickness of the hair and the placement is also strange. Typically in art, you'll see hair strands start out thick then thin out towards the end, with exceptions for highly stylized or curly hairstyles, afros, and so on. However, the hair in this model is a typical, straight haired bob. Why does this strand seem to be coming out of the ear? Why is it so thin at the base and thick at the end? Where did that small strand on the left come from? It seems like the artist intended for the side and front hair to be brown with the backside being red instead of a darker shade as a stylistic choice, so why are these random strands here?

The other side shows this more clearly, except there's still a couple strands just... there.

Here we have another cross. Or at least I'm assuming it's a cross, since the top part of it just merges into an indecipherable grey that I'm assuming is supposed to be the chain or cloth that connects it to the hoop above. Also, what is up with that hoop?

It looks like the machine couldn't decide whether it's supposed to be a circle or heart and just mashed them together to create some fucked up combination of both. Maybe they just really wanted to incorporate a mobius strip into the design somehow? Look at how it curves and folds in on itself the same way fabric naturally does; except it's clearly not fabric because the coloring is metallic.

Here's both eyes side by side. Notice any inconsistencies?

The eyes are at different "default" states, with the one on the right either being more open than the one on the left or the iris just being higher. The pupil itself is also a completely different size and color, the eye highlights are all placed in different spots, the eyelashes merge into the eye shadow, and some of the eyelashes seem to be confused by the darker shading in the eye and are merging with it.

Eyes being visible through hair isn't a red flag in itself, and is often a stylistic choice made in this type of art, however, look at how the bangs disappear behind the eye. There's one small part on the right eye where the bang continues onto the eyelash, except instead of the strand being transparent it's the eyelash.

There's more, but lets move on.

Model 2

The full photo for this model is less obvious at first glance, however it still has some glaring issues.

She's wearing a ruffled, off-sleeve dress with a corset type front and some buttons and a bow on the bust. At least it's supposed to be a bow, I presume, considering it's merging into the top itself.

Ah, looks like the machine still fucks up hands. What's with the random bit of light under the middle finger? Why does the darker part of the palm just cut off at the rose leaf? What are those loose lines on the tip of the pinky and middle finger? Why does the index finger have an extra joint?

Here the hair seems to be heavy enough to cause an indent in the right shoulder that isn't visible on the left side.

What the fuck is happening to the hair here?

The top strand starts fairly thin then just flares out and merges with the background, the middle strand is sharply cut off at the end with the top of it also seeming to just merge with the background.

Model 3

We have multiple issues going on in just this one spot. First, three hair strands, all at different perspectives, are merging into one point, with the strand that should be furthest back actually sitting in front of the strand that rests on the shoulder.

Next, we have this smudge just sitting in the loop those three make. Except, it isn't really a smudge. If you look a bit to the right and up, you'll see the hair strand that it's supposed to be attached to merging into the red top and then reappearing as that "smudge."

Then there's the material lining the inner part of the top. Is it lace? Is it metal? Apparently it's both.

That's certainly an interesting choker. Weird how the ribbons actually ignore how fabric folds in reality and instead choose to melt into the skin. Looks like the computer got confused by the similar colors.

That, once again, presumed lace on the right is looking pretty off. It's actually off on the left too, but not nearly as blatantly. Again, looks like the machine was confused by the colors and caused the neck and lace to melt into one another.

I'm not even going to talk about the jewel.

Those are some pretty chaotic eyelashes. In fact, they seem to completely replace the larger lash itself once you move closer to the inner eye.

Model 4

She appears to have sideburns that only sprout out of one specific part of her cheek that also connect to the rest of hair, because that's the only way for it to be possible for her ear and earring to be behind the hair in this way. Oh wait, part of the earring is in front of the same hair, somehow. There also looks like there's some inflammation going on with the ear itself.

Actually what the fuck is going on with the other ear? It's so much further up the head. It's shriveled. And, of course, it's in front of the hair it should reasonably be behind.

Again, the hair is simultaneously merging with the lace, disappearing behind it, and appearing in front of it.

The Rigging

This video actually shows absolutely nothing about how the model actually looks

First thing I noticed was the hair. It looks as if most of it wasn't separated; all the strands seem to be attached to the same path deformer. The physics themselves are also both wildly sensitive and incredibly jittery. Look at how the hair bounces so far out from just the smallest movement. I get the impression there wasn't much done to the physics besides setting the default and cranking up the [Output Maximum].

Her body and head movements are also super stiff. I barely even recognized that she was supposed to be lifting her head when she bounced up. It literally just looks like they dragged the meshes up rather than actually creating the angles.

There's this strange black line that appears for a split second (around 0:11) when the breasts slide over the body. I think it may be part of the black ruffles? There's also a gap that should not be there because they did not draw in the back of the ruffles that should connect either fully around the dress or to the sides of it.

Actually, the whole thing looks like they didn't even cut most of the body except for the breasts.

The Why

You could technically use a machine to generate each part for you, however that is a lot of time and most people are going to go the easy route; generate a model, give it the bare minimum amount of cutting, then edit some of the glaring problems in Photoshop. That last part is the most difficult though, depending on how good you actually are at editing.

See, this is a legitimate method for making a model and a lot of people do it, except they actually draw it. The whole point of cutting a model is to separate all the pieces to allow for unique movement, and an important step in cutting is drawing through other objects and to allow for easy adjustment when rigging and to prevent gaps in the first place.

The store itself

Nowhere in this persons store do they disclose that they sell A.I produced images. In fact, they're selling the idea that they themselves are fully making the art and will work together with you, the buyer, to create what you want from scratch.

This is all they have listed tool wise.

In addition, their prices are absurd for what they are actually giving you.

These prices go together, by the way.

I know I've ranted about people not valuing their work properly and massively undercharging, but this person is not doing any work. At most, they're doing some rigging that they should be paid for, but they are charging for artwork they did not create.

A Slightly Deeper Dive

So, they have a couple links on their store that I went and looked into. They have a Vgen and a twitter so I took a look at their timeline and what they've created. Vgen has an anti-AI policy at the moment, so seeing that they got approved was as surprise to me.

I've found that they actually can draw and make models from scratch. Those models are wildly different from the ones advertised on their Etsy that I've scrutinized here. It is very cute, but again, it does not look like anything posted here nor does it have any of the same mistakes. I also do not see any of these artworks present on their twitter or Vgen.

Etsy also allows users to post photos of what they've received, and once again, none of them look like what was advertised.

So why the hell are they advertising using A.I rather than their own art when they are perfectly capable of creating models? And why only on their Etsy, that is also the only site they use a different name for?

Is it just a bait and switch? Show off nice (at a glance) models to bring in customers then create something else once you have them committed to working with you? Come on girl, have some confidence in your own art.

Etsy

This is FAR from the only store using A.I to advertise Vtuber models, with other stores outright selling them, much to the dismay of buyers who don't quite have the eye for spotting them yet. Some stores do disclose that their products are generated rather than handmade (baby steps), but plenty do not.

Generated images are just a drop in the water to the fuckery that is the rest of the Etsy website, considering they don't seem to require any kind of disclosure on the part of sellers. How many stores have you seen selling the exact same "custom" shirt? They certainly don't care about every other store being a dropshipper, so I sincerely doubt they actually give a damn about A.I being marked, either.

How do I find a legitimate seller?

Finding someone who is legitimate and isn't going to scam you isn't unique to art nor the Live2D sphere, so a lot of the advice you see from others will apply here.

Remember that none of the stuff below is an automatic sign that someone is a scammer or being dishonest about their work; they are merely things to look for to help you navigate and find a real artist/rigger.

Look closely at the art

If you've read the previous section, you'll have some idea of what to look for.

Are there any parts that are off or look strange or inconsistent? Is an object simultaneously in front of and behind something in a way that is physically impossible?

If they provide videos, how does the rigging look? Does it look like the hair has been cut into multiple layers or is it all moving as one or two objects? Do the eyes move properly when blinking? Do the head and body have a full range of motion or does the model just seem to tilt side to side? Does everything move the exact same way (same physics settings)?

2. Look at the artist's portfolio

What does the rest of their work look like? Is all of it wildly different in line work and coloring? Does it all look exactly the same? Do they offer their services on websites that perform some degree of vetting such as Vgen or do they use Fiverr or Cashapp only?

If they post on something like Twitter, do they only post commissions? Do they link to the person they did the commission for or name them at all? Did the commissioner respond in some way to the post, or make their own post about it?

3. Search online for the artist

The internet is your best friend here. If someone is a scammer, there's a possibility they've had a victim or "unsatisfied customer" before you that you may be able to find. Put their name into quotations (for example, "Lycorid") and throw that into your search engine of choice. No results? Add specific sites to narrow your results (site:reddit.com) or terms. If they post on twitter, type "name" & site:twitter.com and scroll to see if anybody has posted something about them.

You may not find anything, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Thanks to the death of forums and the unfortunate growth of closed off online communities, there are spaces you physically cannot search unless you are aware they exist and you have access to them. I am of course talking about Discord. The official discord for Live2D has a section specifically dedicated to users to look out for, and is fairly detailed in the information it provides.

They also have a channel for artists and riggers that have been vetted, but occasionally some of them do get outed, so general caution still applies.

4. Reverse Image Search

Google Images fucking sucks for this now but stuff like tineye or yandex exist as alternatives.

Basically, you copy-paste the photo into your search engine or select the dedicated reverse image search button and see if any duplicates pop up. If they do, look into them. This is far less likely to happen with generated images since even the exact same prompts do not produce the same image, but it is useful for weeding out scammers who stole art from other places.

Be aware that the person you are reverse image searching may in fact be the original artist that everyone is stealing from. Exercise some caution.

5. Contact the artist directly

Talking to someone is a really good way to filter things out as well. You can ask for examples of their work that relate to what you want, see if they having any speed paints to share, etc. You do need to be careful in how you say things since it could easily come across as you asking for free art.

If they don't have a Ko-Fi or Vgen or anything similar, or anything else listed, ask them what methods of payment they accept. Ask them the turnaround time for a product. Ask them what rules they have relating to the product (again, if not already written somewhere.)

Basically, if there's any information missing, get answers for them.

I can't believe I got so distracted by the generated image that popped up when I was looking for references that I went on a several hour rant instead of working on my model. And by "can't believe" I mean I totally can believe it because I've done it before and I will do it again because I do not learn from my mistakes.

Help.

[akimiiyo]

-> JEALOUSY

⌗synopsis : genshin men when they’re jealous.

⌗characters : diluc, kaeya, albedo, zhongli, childe, baizhu, xiao, thoma, ayato, heizou, wanderer, kazuha, tighnari, cyno, alhaitham, kaveh, neuvillette, lyney, dainsleif, dottore, pantalone, capitano, pierro.

⌗cw : gn!reader, not proofread, lowercase intended, probably ooc.

he’s a gentleman, he doesn’t get jealous often because he knows for a fact that he has nothing to worry about. you’ve never done anything that made him feel as if he had to watch out and he’s certain that you never will. although he can still get annoyed at the sight of another man flirting with you. it was his insisting even after you turned him down that angered him the most. nonetheless, he doesn’t let such people interfere with his composure. he’ll act mature and take you somewhere else once he sees that the man has no intentions of leaving you alone. as soon as you both get a moment alone together, however, he won’t hesitate to plant a few more kisses than usual. just in case, y’know?

diluc, zhongli, alhaitham, neuvillette, dainsleif, capitano.

he won’t admit it, but he gets jealous often. he doesn’t want to confront you about it because he believes it’s embarrassing and silly to feel that way. i mean, you’re his and he’s yours. you love him so much, there’s no need to worry, right? yet, he still can’t help but fume at the sight of strangers complimenting you. he can’t blame them, but he still would rather for people to be blind if that meant that they’d leave you alone. he’s aware of how unfair that would be, so he just stays quiet, either sulking or glaring at those people as you offer them a kind smile until you’re both alone where he’ll be needing your utmost attention.

xiao, albedo, thoma, kazuha, kaveh, baizhu.

he’s jealous and he’ll show it. hit on his partner? right in front of him? absolutely not. he might try to keep his calm at first, but as time passes and this scumbag is still around, he won’t hold back. not to worry, he won’t do anything extreme (unless he’s forced to do so), he just wants to make things clear to this guy. he’ll keep it simple at first, simply making subtle comments until he actually starts going straight to the point. after a while, he’ll take your arm and walk away with you, now being angrier than before. the way that guy was talking to him, but especially you, has him furious. be prepared to listen to his angry rant about that random dude. be also prepared to shut him up, you know how.

kaeya, childe, heizou, tighnari, cyno, wanderer, lyney.

this guy almost sees you as his property, his jealousy is unmatched. he won’t take anything lightly. if you’re trying to make advantages on his partner, then you’re asking for it. simple as that! he won’t let anyone think they might have a chance with you because you’re destined to be with him and only him. so obviously, he must make it clear to everybody to not even try. if someone is bold enough though, he’ll just stand beside you, piercing through this man’s soul with his icy gaze. thankfully, nothing ever escalated from that. not that he wouldn’t be capable of doing that, these poor souls simply knew better than to get against someone of that status and reputation.

ayato, dottore, pantalone, pierro.

⌗a/n : im not really proud of this, i might edit it once i have time. it’s 4am and i was supposed to be studying, but i ended up writing this instead. talk about procrastination 😪 let me know if i made any mistakes pls

want to read more? take a look at my masterlist!

©2024 akimiiyo. do not repost, translate, plagiarise, or modify in any way, shape or form.

[nordidia]

Do you think CJ and Raph ever talk about their experiences with PTSD/anxiety together or even share advice on coping? Or do you think Raph would rather not? Explain your reasoning in your essay below

(i typed an entire novel and then accidentally closed chrome and it deleted everything let me try doing this again i barely remember what i said ok so. also this is just me blabbering idk guys im not a rise writer im just some opinionated guy online and you can completely disagree with me and i dont say what goes or not ok? ok!)

i dont think raph would go to him with his issues but i think it'd defo get talked about through asking CJ about things and checking up on him etc. and i think CJ would give raph alot of insight and advice on how to deal with anxieties and traumas,, tho alot of their convos would just be one of them saying something vile and the other one going "oh. is that not normal?" and the first one looking at the latter like this

but all in all i think they'd definitely help eachother with dealing with stuff... i think especially raph will assist CJ in just taking the blow on how much there is to unpack... his entire life has been a big traumatic event, i imagine suddenly living a sustained life without having to fight for survival every day would be a lot for him to deal with, especially the confusion and grief over what he has lost (maybe what he has lost feels a bit like pointless grief to him now? which is a trauma in itself) and also grieving what he never had. as we know, grief is also things we shouldve had but never got, and i think all the hamatos would be really helpful in dealing with that.

tho CJ seems to be a bit of a hardass on stuff like this which is incredibly understandable when you've had to fight for everything with zero stability at all anywhere you went. i could see him confiding in raph about it, but not only him if im honest. but there is an undeniable security about raph i think that the characters i the show feel, and i think CJ would seek the stability and consistent reliability that raph provides.

i also like that CJ doesnt seem too scared about calling out people when they do wrong, i can defo see CJ bluntly telling raph that bad coping mechanisms is stupid and makes things worse and worries everyone around. (this is ofc hand in hand with the good ol' HC that raph bottles shit up/avoids talking abt things. personally i think he never shuts up and frequently rants about stuff and lets his family know whenever shit is up but he avoids going too deep so his family thinks he's being fully transparent when actually he's just not voicing the worst shit. this is so real to me no i do not need therapy shut u)

i definitely think raph would confide in CJ about the krang thing. CJ is the one who knows the most about it, i can see raph going to him to just get a bit more information about what was going on, and also a bit of relief hearing that it didnt go as bad as it couldve gone... CJ being experienced with krangification would absolutely soothe worries and make him feel less alone about knowing what he knows and having gone through something thats a step further than his brothers

IS THIS A GOOD ENOUGH ESSAY i have academic anxiety dont grade me please its 4am i have taken melatonin pills im on my last leg help m *ficking dies*

edit: GOODNIGHT LOL

[riddler-enthusiast]

Okay so don't mind me but this is just a quick rant about my fanfics and it's 4AM so if you see any grammar mistakes i'm sorry!!

The thing is that I started writing a Captain Cold x Captain Boomerang fanfic mainly because 1. I fucking love weird pairings and starting ship tags on Ao3 2. They both have "captain" in their name and were on the same teams TWICE!!! and I think that's funny 3. It's a smut and I may be sex-repulsed but it's just easy to write rarepair when it's a smut idk why.

And I recently finished the one-shot, nothing too large just a 2.000 word fic that still needs a lot of editing but I'm finally done with it but!!! I started this the past week, didnt had time to write about it and I was kinda stressed about that because I can write a lot of words in little time but I did not had the opportunity this time. And it wouldnt piss me off so bad if I also didnt had this Deadshot x Captain Boomerang fic idea as well!!!

Because I spent ALL this week thinking about my Deadshot x Captain Boomerang fic idea while I had my Captain Cold x Captain Boomerang fic looking directly into my soul whenever I opened Word because I already had everything structured and I just needed to write it. It certainly didnt help that I need to write for the riddlebird week and that I have like 4 coldwave fics in the oven. Idk I'm just a mess with my fanfics and if you can't tell yes I have ADHD!!!! Thank you for listening to my rant, now I hope I can post my Captain Cold x Captain Boomerang fic and start writing my Deadshot x Captain Boomerang one-shot and pray that I do not have more fic ideas because I really need to finish a lot of ideas and drabbles rn. Good night I guess!!

[adultswim2021]

Southies: “Mutiny” | February 18, 2010 (online) | Pilot

“Full” version released online February 25th.

“Final” version released online February 26th (or thereabouts)

Aired on television January 19, 2011 @ 4AM

Oh, Wowthies, it’s Southies. Part of the Burger King Big, Über, Network Sampling, an event in which people were invited to go online, watch some pilots for potential television programs (with two different ones going head-to-head each round), vote on your favorites, and reflect on the deliciousness of Burger King restaurant’s many available food products. Sorta like the Night of 1000 Pilots, but far less successful. 

Southies was about a crass couple in South Philly Boston (note: I am so mad at myself that I wrote Philly that I'm leaving the evidence that I edited my post up. what the HELL). They have a daughter, who we don’t see until the last third of the episode. New neighbors move in, who are considerably less crass than them. In fact, they are so squeaky clean that they haven’t even had children. There’s no visible proof that they’ve even had sex with each other!! They clash slightly, personality-wise, though everyone is trying their best to make a good impression. When loutish ____ (I watched this literally two and a half times and can’t remember the main guy’s name, which instead of going back to find out I’m going to let stand as a testament to… something.) finds out the new neighbor is a doctor for the New England Patriots, he starts seeing him as a source for free tickets to football games. They throw a party, try to impress them, fail, and that’s the end. 

While I firmly consider this to be a dud, it’s not horrible. But: I didn’t really laugh. The show has fleeting moments of extreme comedy; like when a man is seen in the beginning of the show driving recklessly while ranting on his phone to a sports radio guy (I think! AGAIN IT’S ALL SO HAZY I’M SORRY). This scene ends with him crashing into a pedestrian, with a splash of blood, which is barely noticed by the main characters of the show. The rest of the show is mostly just character-based comedy. The characters are pretty colorful and the design of the show is, while objectively ugly, pretty specific. By that I mean they are admirably defined. I really do think that the bare-minimum a cartoon should be is “specific”. You know? Also, the sound design is really great, and is maybe the best thing about the show. 

One thing that’s notable about the show is that it’s beset with MULTIPLE VERSIONS, which can perhaps feel daunting to a prospective viewer looking for a definitive experience. I watched this two-and-a-half times, and had to tap out on my third watch. The version I’d recommend is the version that actually aired on television at 4AM in 2011. It’s in 16:9, has tell-tale signs of television broadcast (TV rating, onscreen bug, etc), and looks and sounds as good as it ought to. Here’s a rundown of the versions floating around: 

Version one, which is basically just a short clip, actually. There’s a brief opening (an abbreviated version of the opening sequence), and a little “next time, on Southies” sting showing our main characters downing beers on their neighbors porch. The clip in question is an early scene, where the main guy talks to his neighbor outside while movers bring in their new neighbors boxes. It’s the scene where the guy pees on the van. When I clicked on the Burger King site to check out the shows, THIS is what was offered, initially. 

Version two, which runs over 13 minutes and resembles the final version, except for the recurring abbreviated opening and a “next time, on Southies” clip occurring every couple minutes. This gives the impression that at one point they intended to chop up this pilot into shorter segments and turn them into webisodes. This seems like a bad plan, honestly, because all the scenes flow together pretty well. It feels like they tried to retrofit an 11 minute pilot into the webisode format and not the other way around. This is the “longest” version, but most of it is because of the repeated opening and closing sequences.

Version three, which is the “final” version and the one that aired on TV, and actually feels like an episode of a TV show. Easily the definitive version of the show.

Cosmetic differences between each version include a discrepancy in aspect ratios. I compared the aired version with the web’s “final” version and saw that the web version was cropped to roughly 4:3. Rougher versions look like there might be additional squishing going on, as well, but I was rapidly losing interest to truly confirm it. Could also be whoever ripped them putting weight on that scale. 

There ARE some content differences between the “full” version and the “final” version. The scene where the guy runs someone down with his car does not end in a gory spectacle, for example, and the street shots showing local color are also less extreme (the final version shows a nude vagrant, and an uncouth woman breastfeeding a baby, the “full” version doesn’t even have jokes that I recall). Also the “full” version had more censorship, at least from the few minutes of it that I could stomach. A guy says “asshole” that goes unbleeped in the other version, but is bleeped in the “full” version. The full version is full of crap if you ask me.

SPECIAL THANK YOU TO KON FOR SENDING ME ALL OF THE VERSIONS!!! YOU KICK ASS DUDE

[lady-murderess]

Vocaloid/Piapro Studio software rant

You know what? Importing my Vocaloid 2 Luka into Piapro should NOT have been as difficult as it just was. Literally all I wanted to do was use her with my MEIKO V3 on the same VSTi, and have done with it so I can get on with making music. But it literally took me 2 hours to just be able to do it...

Don't get me wrong, there are tutorials out there but they only go as far as giving you the import tool, telling you how to use it, giving you links to the sites that you need to go to and informing you that Crypton did/do it differently than the other companies. They don't tell you about how difficult it actually is when it comes down to registering your old lil Crypton Vocaloid from V2 or V1 in order to get the things you actually need to even import your libraries in the first place, and I think that's a little frustrating.

thank fuck I don't have any other Vocaloid that isn't in any relation to CFM, because after all this shit, they would just have to get fucked :))))))

Could just be me though because I was editing a song cover at like 4am and then suddenly realised that I could import all that shit over and then chose to do it there and then, but FML as much as I'm learning Japanese and have been for a while time now, I literally could not read 90% of the emails I got and the websites I had to sign up for and then register Luka on. I hate it here 🙃

I might do a tutorial on it one day just in case someone actually needs it. but for now I'm off to bloody bed.

[moochaeng]

genuinely having a breakdown bc i wanna switch my uni course but idk what to do or who i need to talk to m. and i feel like my mom is gonna be mad bc i'm gonna change from chemistry to music tech and she told me before music wouldn't get me anywhere in life. but i just can't spend another 2 years doing this course when i'm so passionate about something else. i've cried so much bc i'm gonna fail this year bc i have so much work to redo and i have less than 24 hours and i have no idea how to do it and i have to retake exams. i just don't wanna do this fucking course anymore.

* also this is the first time in ages i've cried, i'm just so passionate and serious about this but i feel like no one will take me seriously and my mom will probably just tell me to suck it up and deal with it but i fucking can't. i've been struggling so much with uni since lockdown bc i can't concentrate even more than normal. ughhh i just really don't wanna do this anymore

** idk if this is too deep to say so tw just incase but at times like these i wish i wasn't alive so i didn't have to make these kinds of decisions. i feel like there is so much fucking pressure on me and i can't handle it

[jjkguk]

🛌🗯

[joanyio]

weak hero class 1 rant because it’s 4am and im in my feelings and idk how else to deal with them *cracks knuckles* please don’t expect me to be coherent

it’s because of a twitter thread i made and i just wanted to elaborate more

if you didn’t click the link here’s what i said “this montage gets me every time because you realize sooho’s bright personality hid the fact that he was just as alone as sieun was, always sleeping at school for working part-time a lot, probably the reason why he had no friends, also refers to himself as the hyung with his peers. then the montage sequence ends with sieun being considerate, not turning the lights on like he did before and studying in the dark to not disturb sleeping sooho. the same day sieun wakes him up to have lunch together and they unexpectedly click.. in a way it was a friendship built from understanding how differently they lived but also similarly alone, and having each other made their lives a little brighter and i think that’s beautiful.”

also this hyunwook interview..

—

i can’t seem to stop overthinking about the little detail that sooho refers to himself as the hyung (형 - older brother) with his same-aged peers (동갑). in korea, age is a huge deal and it dictates most of their social cues, who to respect and how much respect is given. and i can just imagine how arrogant his peers might find him for referring to himself as the hyung, it’s like he acts all high and mighty amongst them.

am not puting all clips of him doing this but i remember the incident with baseball kids in the first ep he told them to bring the passed out dude to the nurse’s office and said “형이 이름 말하면 뒤진다,” literally means “if you say hyung’s (my) name, you’re dead.” (and they aren’t even his same-aged friends because someone murmured “but we’re older than him..” still, they’re high schoolers all the same) in ep 2 “형이라고 부르고싶냐?” literally means “do you wanna call me hyung now?” (or “do you wanna give me respect now?”) in ep 3 while playing pool he said “형이 하는거 잘 봐라,” literally means “watch carefully how hyung does (i do) it.”

[edit: i remembered another instance. in ep 1, yeongbin’s group bothering sieun again in the classroom. sooho was disturbed from his sleep, “why are guys so chatty these days? 형 잠도 못 자게. 형 자도 돼? 응?” literally goes “hyung (i) can’t even sleep (with u mfs being loud). can hyung (i) sleep? hmm?” official subs: “someone’s trying to sleep here. can i sleep in peace? please?”]

i think he does it because he knows he was forced to grow up fast due to his living situation, and in his eyes this made his same-aged peers /more/ childlike(?) and immature compared to him, who’s already grown up and has adult big boy responsibilities to worry about than silly little exams and high school social hierarchy. he’s extroverted and has a sunshine personality, blunt and honest to anyone he talks to. he always knows what to say to kids his age to feel shame for the bullshit they pull. even with older people, the baseball kids, to gilsu “나이 먹고 그게 자랑이야?”

so yeah sleeping a lot at school due to working part-time for hours may have contributed to him not having friends (hello he follows like 5 people in instagram, such a skinny ratio with his 1k+ followers) but also he probably found it hard to relate and saw no reason to put effort in hanging out with them outside inevitable campus interactions. until sieun. sieun who sooho calls a weirdo, who’s really interesting, whose eyes say how empty he must feel inside but you can see the fire in them. sooho probably thought sieun would never initiate a conversation with him but he did approach him for lunch that one time. and finds himself enjoying the company. now he grew to love showing sieun that there’s more to life than studying hard and preparing for college. it’s all mundane things, eating, gaming, karaokeing, playing pool, “let’s drive all night long,” friendship and the kind of company that their families and other people couldn’t give.

sooho’s all sun and bright but he hasn’t found his person until sieun came along. both of them were very self-sacrificial, ready to risk it all and harm anyone to protect each other. i might just forever ache for sooho ending up on his deathbed after going apeshit seeing sieun hide the injury he got on sooho’s behalf.. and sieun throwing away his whole future when he went and hurt everyone who did that to sooho..

it hits different after i read the equivalent chapters in the webtoon because the suho-sieun-focused friendship story was prolonged for the drama adaptation. sooho was kinda not that interesting in the webtoon so i loved everything they changed and added for his character in the drama. but also like im upset because now im endlessly attached to him.. [edit: in case i piss off webtoon!suho lovers, it’s a personal preference. i love him too but i just cant help but be more emotionally attached to drama!suho] like fuck why did they have to write such a tragic friendship story between highschoolers im fucking done

end of rant ugh i hate myself for this

[martsonmars]

Hello friends! First SSS of the year for me. Also an early post because I want to write after sleeping and maybe some validation early in the day will help 💖 I have six snippets from six WIPs to share (only the fifth one written today, which makes me sad because I really wanted to share new new words, but it's okay) and I want to talk about them, so I'm throwing everything under the cut with the tags.

You can vote for the WIP you'd like me to continue the most (except Like We Had A Clue, because I know people are waiting for an update and it would skew the vote hahaha). Pick one of the other 5! Though as always I'll follow inspiration and not what the people want.

Love you all <3 hope you're taking care of yourself in these trying times.

1. First EGF WIP. I have many ideas for EGF, but considering a) possible writer's blocks, b) exams, c) other non EGF related WIPs, I honestly don't know how much I'll manage to write. This one is the most “urgent” one because it's a collab with @aroace-genderfluid-sheep and he's already done so many cool things for it and I'm so excited!!! The snippet I'm sharing is all I've written for this fic. Oh well!

“You could've at least sent us to Dante's inferno. That would've been intellectually stimulating.”

“This place is plenty stimulating.”

Of course it is. It's a fucking sex dungeon.

2. Second EGF WIP. I shared something from this already. There's hope I'll finish this one because it's short, but knowing myself I can't make promises hahaha.

“I’m sorry,” they say. Their voice is deep and smooth, like I imagine a cello would sound if it could talk. “I don’t think I can have dinner with you tonight.”

I can’t hide how much it stings. Of course my monster under the bed would come out just to reject me.

3. Like We Had A Clue. Chapter 5 is outlined in detail but I'm still struggling so much with it. Have some sentences I might have shared already in the past because I wrote them months ago!

“Are you trying to trap me, Snow? Keep me here to make food for you forever?”

“What if I am?”

I raise an eyebrow. His hand is still on my arm. He lets it fall.

4. WIP I shared from a couple of weeks ago. I want to have fun with this so I'm not forcing myself to write it, but I also really want to finish it. It's a struggle, always 🤣

(There's nothing innocent about four thousand words of Fangvald having a pity wank after Cherry spat on his face and demanded to know the true motives behind his betrayal.)

But it's fanfiction. Exploring fictional worlds and fictional characters and fictional relationships.

It would say nothing about me if he hadn't also linked two of my longest 4am rants about loneliness and deserving love.

5. Mystery WIP. I started plotting it yesterday and I've already lost steam. We'll see if it ever gets written.

25/12, 11:27AM

basiltea: Of course I'll help you.

basiltea: You can't be trusted to handle this alone and make it work.

Excalisbury: I LOVE YOU

basiltea: I'm just saving you from yourself.

6. Picture book story! The issue with this one is that I have to rewrite it completely. I have @johnwgrey's super useful notes, but I hate rewriting and editing with a burning passion, and this story needs so much work it hurts. But I'll do it!

Of course Snow had no reason to trust him. The fact that Baz had decided he’d never even try to hurt him again couldn’t erase five years of antagonism. Especially because Snow didn’t know about his change of heart. (It would’ve been ridiculous. Hey, Snow, I decided I don’t hate you anymore. Quite the opposite, instead. Can I kiss you?)

That was a lot. I feel like Simon and Baz are possessing me because I want to write SO MUCH, I literally can feel the words pushing to get out, but the second I open a doc it all fades out. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be more motivated in the morning.

So many no pressure tags for you lovelies:

@wellbelesbian @urban-sith @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @facewithoutheart @palimpsessed @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @prettylightsbigcity @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @confused-bi-queer @moodandmist @bookish-bogwitch @letraspal @dragoneggos @captain-aralias @takitalks @excalisbury (stealing your @ for Simon's Discord username hahaha) @otherworldsivelivedin @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @gekkoinapeartree @bazzybelle @basiltonbutliketheherb @messofthejess @ivelovedhimthroughworse @nightimedreamersworld @artsyunderstudy @foolofabookwyrm-activated @ionlydrinkhotwater @yellobb @orange-peony @ic3-que3n @whogaveyoupermission @katmiscellanious @yeonjunenby @erzbethluna @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @raenestee @onepintobean @stitchyqueer @hushed-chorus

[dearestones]

Akudama Drive Matchup: Courier

Warnings: Fluff.

@siouxxiie Request: Hello!! How are you??

Could I request a Platonic Matchup for Any of the Akudama Characters? Okay, My name is Joey but I go by Rachel, Tori or Calypso.. I am a minor(is that ok..?) I’m like at least 5’5, I have Sholder Length-ish Curly black hair, brown eyes and I have a hour-glass body.

For my Hobbies, I really love a lot of things basically… like sketching, drawing, writing, edit, playing games(so many omg), I also play Lacrosse and Volleyball, making music on garage band(getting used to it), Reading, Being with my online/irl friends, and Playing the Piano and Harp!

For my interests/likes, enstars (switchP), rhythm games, doukyuusei, mystic messenger, twf, genshin, a silent voice, lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, eddsworld, homestuck, the goldfinch, horimiya, fnaf, heathers, sasaki and miyano, blueycapsules, hxh, saiki k, hamilton (sadly, im sorry.)

Some of my traits, I talk about my intrests a lot, Im pretty silly when I’m with someone like I’ll say stuff like hai as a joke a lot please dont take it seriously, I hate negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", spiders. i am very bad at comforting sorry, im fine with taking with people but i will probably be very awkward until we get to know eachother more(i hope i did that right)

Comforts, cats, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), lemon demon, felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), hotels, and my friends!

Sorry if this is to long! I really hope it isn’t… Have a great rest of your day!!

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After reading through the information given, I believe that you are best paired with Courier!

When you first meet each other, don’t worry if your’re feeling awkward and ultimately embarrass yourself in front of Courier. The man is just as emotionally constipated, but he won’t think anything of it if you stumble over your words or if you do something that is unconventional when it comes to starting acquaintanceships. It takes practice to become used to a person so you’ll eventually get it right as long as you’re persistent. 

While Courier isn’t one to hang out with too many people at a time, he finds that he’s somewhat at ease when he’s around you. As a listener, he likes it best when you rant and rave about your interests. Sometimes, you’ll catch him smirking (but never laughing because he’ll never live it down if you caught him) at the corner of his eyes. If you tease him, he might relent and tell you that you’re actually funny, but don’t expect it so soon. Courier needs some time to get used to you before he starts emoting freely.  

Courier is a man who values hard work and what a person stands for. He’ll never compare you to anyone but yourself. If he finds out that someone hurts your feelings on purpose, he’ll make it his personal mission to make sure that you’re doing well in the aftermath. He won’t go as far as to pummel the offender, but if he ever sees them again, he might say something.

It’s okay if you’re not that great at comforting people. Courier can easily relate to that. He values actions over words anyway. To those he treasures, he will do small gestures for them like cooking their favorite foods or taking them out on a ride on his motorcycle. He doesn’t expect the same in return since you’re bad at comfort, all he wants for you is that you’re doing well. 

As for your interests, Courier can’t say that he enjoys all of them, but if you ask nicely, he’ll consent to playing a few rhythm games and watching your favorite animes. However, he’ll jump at the chance for some physical exercise. You might have to teach him lacrosse, but he’ll probably thrash you at volleyball. There’s just something cathartic about spiking balls at your enemy’s side of the court with deadly precision that gets him excited. 

In return for all of your enthusiasm concerning your interests, Courier will take you around his bike, teach you how to cook, and walk you around the city to see some of the prettier sights that Kansai has to offer. (Before you ask, no, he’s not doing it because he thinks you’re a good friend. Why would you think that? He just wants to return the favor when you share the most vulnerable parts of your life to him).

Bonus: A good way to annoy Courier is to play Christmas music nonstop months before the actual Christmas date. He’ll threaten to run you over with his bike, but it’s worth it seeing the annoyed look in his eyes because he doesn’t mean it. 

To sum it all up, you and Courier have the foundations for a great, lasting friendship. Just be sure to communicate, lest there be misunderstandings!

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

AKUDAMA DRIVE MASTERLIST

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Homesick - (Christen Press x reader)

Hey guys!!! Honestly heard this song and loved it so much and thought it would be good for an imagine. Halfway through writing it I thought it would have been better with an army service person but honestly was too tired to change it all. But I hope you enjoy!!!

You look so peaceful in our bed

I didn't wanna wake you when I left

To catch my plane

And I'll be trailing through the sky

Just another silhouette up high

Before you wake

I groan quietly as the alarm on my Fitbit buzzes awaking me from my peaceful night. I lay there for another minute before deciding I unfortunately have to get up. Ever so slowly I gently slip out from Christen's grasp and quietly get out of the bed.

I start to move around the room getting ready. The benefit of having everything packed the day before means I wasn't in a rush to pack and I all I had to do was get changed. As I check my watch I see I need to be leaving soon to make my flight. But as I look over at Christen who is still sleeping peacefully in the bed I smile softly at the sight.

She looked so serene and peaceful. She looked so relaxed as her chest rises and falls in slow rhythmic breaths. I frown knowing how hard she's been working lately on Re Inc alongside training and everything else that needs to be done. I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. We had a traditional, sort of like an unspoken rule. Whenever one of us had to leave for somewhere we would always wake the other up to say goodbye. Sadly it was usually me doing the waking up having to travel a lot for work.

But knowing how stressed she been recently about Re Inc's new capsule launch and the upcoming Olympics, I didn't have the heart to wake her up.

Instead I settle for a gentle kiss on her forehead. I freeze as she stirs in her sleep as she shuffles around in the bed before burying her head into my pillow. With one last smile I creep out of the room leaving her a small note on the counter before leaving for the airport.

Knowing by the time she wakes up I'll be high in the sky.

You tell me that you had that dream again

When I didn't have to go

I wish that we could live inside your head

I had barely stepped into my hotel room when my phone rings. I drop my bags before fishing around in my pockets to find my phone. But I smile as I see the name pop up on my screen, "Morning Chris".

"You didn't wake me this morning..." I didn't even need to see her to know that she was pouting on the other end. I bite my lip, "I know but I know how hard you've been working and you just looked so beautiful and peaceful. I just couldn't do it". She giggles, "Maybe it's because of the dream I was having".

I flop back into the bed settling back into the mattress, "What were you dreaming about?" "You woke me up and told me that your gig was cancelled and you didn't have to leave". I chuckle and run my hand through my hair, "I like the sound of that. I wish we could live inside you head".

And I know that you'll feel better

When you're sat there in my sweater

That I gave you to remember

Being on the sofa next to me

And I'm waking up at 6:00 a.m.

To call before you go to bed

And tell you 'bout the day I've planned

And listen to the one you had

And when I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you, darling

I grin, "I'm sorry I didn't wake you up. But I have a surprise that will make you happy". She hums, "Oh yeah? What is it?" "Go look in the wardrobe" I tell her. I can hear her shuffling on her end as she no doubt goes to the wardrobe. Then I hear her coo over the phone, "Awe Y/n..." I smile, "I know it sucks being away from each other a lot of the time especially with conflicting schedules and stuff. But I hope this will help remind you I'm always here for you".

She giggles, "It's smells like you and a small bit of popcorn". I had left her one of my oversized sweater which she always loved to steal off me. She had spent many nights curled up in my sweater on the sofa for our movie nights. It was one of my favourites but I could never be mad at her for taking it. She just looked so adorable all swallowed up in the massive hoodie.

"This way" I tell her, "whenever you start to miss me. You can just put this on and think of the two of us cuddled up on the couch". She lets out a content sigh, "I love you". I smile, "I love you too".

Your friends, they ask you all the time

Why'd you wanna wait another night

When I'm not home?

And nothing seems to settle down

Just another day, another town

And we're alone

As much as I love my job it did suck at times. Being a photographer for hire was brilliant as I got to do what I loved and got to travel all over the world meeting amazing people. The problem with being in such high demand means I'm traveling a little too much at times.

It also meant that I was purely reliant on reputation alone. Thankfully I had spent years building it up. It didn't hurt that I was very versatile doing just about everything from travel pictures to modelling shoots. But in building up a reputation it meant that I couldn't turn down bookings.

And it seems that I always had the worst timing with luck. It seems that just as I finish up a job I get booked for another one. Postponing my return home. Things just never seems to settle down. Meaning spending even longer away from Christen. Or just when I come home she's leaving for camp or matches. I would be hopping town to town. The two of us alone.

But not really

But I can never let this go to waste

The further that I go

The more I seem to love you every day

But no matter how far away we are from each other. No matter the distance I travel it could never diminish how much I love Christen. It's as if the further I travel the more my love grows for her. I guess what they say is true.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

And I know that you'll feel better

When you're sat there in my sweater

That I gave you to remember

Being on the sofa next to me

And I'm waking up at 6:00 a.m.

To call before you go to bed

And tell you 'bout the day I've planned

And listen to the one you had

And when I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you

When I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you, darling

After touching down in New York and hailing down a taxi I slump back in the seat as they drive me to the hotel for the night. But the first thing I do is check the time difference. It just became apart of my routine everytime I went somewhere for work. I would always check the time difference between where I am with wherever Christen is.

I had made it a priority to always call Christen before she goes to bed no matter what unless it was organised before hand for some reason.

Of course I never told Christen this. Purely cause in doing so it means that I would have to be awake at insane hours in order to call her. Of course it was a pain but everything was worth it to hear about Christen's day.

As I get to the hotel I immediately slide into the bed not even bothering to change and instead just dropping my bags and getting comfortable underneath the warn blankets. Knowing I only have a few hour before needing to wake up to call Christen.

I groan lightly when I hear the alarm on my phone go off. I sit up in my bed with a yawn before taking my phone off the charge and dialling Christen's number. I rub the sleep from my eyes as it rings. But it doesn't take long as it only has the chance to ring twice before I hear my beautiful girlfriend's voice on the other end, "Hey Y/n!"

I smile tiredly, "Hey Love". "You okay? You sound tired. Early start?" I chuckle quietly she has no idea. "Eh it's okay I just woke up is all". I stifle a yawn, "But don't worry about that how was your day?"

I can't help but smile as she begins her long rant about her day. Starting off with the usual with her morning yoga and meditation and everything. Then tells me about Kelley acting like a crack head at training and work for Re Inc. "Mal was asking for you as well today" she tells me making me smile. "Awe" coo, "tell the little nugget I miss her too".

"Do you have much planned for the day?" She asks. I shrug although I know she can't see me, "Well other than the shoot I have today I don't really know. Maybe if I get a chance I can go explore maybe take a few pictures". She groans, "Uh I wish I could go exploring with you". I smile, "Maybe one day I'll bring you back with me and then we can explore together". "I would like that" she says softly.

There's a small pause before she speaks again. "So do you know when your going to be coming home?" She asks quietly. I sigh knowing it was coming. She asks every time and I hate it. Purely because I can never give her a good answer. I never liked giving her an answer only for her to be disappointed when another job calls me away again. "I don't know Chris" I sigh. "I have this gig which is a city wide shoot which could go on for days if we get delayed and then I might be getting called for another in England afterwards".

I could practically see the frown on her face, "Okay..." I sigh and play with the ring on my finger, "But you know that I'm doing everything in my power to get back home to you". "I know". I inhale deeply, "I love you so so so so much Christen Press". I smile as I hear her giggle down the line, "I love you too". "To the moon and back" I whisper. She sighs contently.

"To the moon and back"

I know that you'll feel better

When you're sat there in my sweater

That I gave you to remember

Being on the sofa next to me

I groan quietly as I rub my eyes tired from constantly staring at the screen. When I glance up I see I've been editing these photos for over 3 hours now as the it now shows that it's nearing 4am. I slump back in the chair and stare up at the ceiling just taking a moment to rest my eyes.

I loved photography and taking pictures of different things. But this was the part I hated the most. Editing. Was simply the bain of my existence. It was just a slow process and took so long to do such small things. And as much as I wanted to just go to sleep I knew I couldn't. The longer I put these off the more pressure I'll be under to get them sent off.

It would also lead to just a bigger amount of pictures to edit and that didn't seem all that appealing either.

It didn't help that all my thoughts just seems to trail back to Christen. She's probably in the middle of team bonding or free time right now. Probably hanging with Tobin or someone right now. What I wouldn't give to just be cuddled up with her right now taking a nap.

I missed her so much right now

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone pinging. I sigh as I grab my phone only to see it's an Instagram notification. I scrunch my face "I've been tagged?" I shrug thinking it's just probably someone posting some photos I took for them but instantly smile when I see who it was.

It was a picture I had actually taken a while ago just for fun but it came out extremely well. It was a picture of Chris sitting on our sofa looking away from the camera and instead to the seat beside her. The light streaming in from the windows we're hitting her perfectly. But the best part was her sitting them in my baggy sweater adorning her small frame making her look even smaller than usual.

Christenpress Wish you were here next to me

I chuckle as I like the photo. Christen was such a tease. She knew that fans had suspicions that she was dating someone but would never come out and directly say who. It was quite funny seeing how many people speculated Christen and Tobin were dating from photos I had taken. Taking friendly gestures way out of context.

After staring at the picture for a while longer I switch off my phone and get back to editing the photos. Wanting to get these done as quickly as possible. Because the quicker I get these done.

The quicker I get home to her.

And when I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you

When I'm homesick

The day had been longer than it should have been. The shoot had a rocky start with an overbearing manager interrupting the shoot constantly and questioning everything every 5 minutes. I was quickly coming to the end of my tether but I finally cracked. Not only was he making the model uncomfortable, he started questioning me. So I eventually kicked him off the shoot.

Which was the best decision as the model finally relaxed enough to continue on with the shoot. It ran much smoother after that but we had a lot of time to make up for. And along with the wardrobe changes and travelling between locations the day was just tiring overall.

It didn't help that homesickness hit my like a train today.

I don't know why but everything just remind me of Christen. It was almost crippling how much I missed her. Wanting nothing more than to be in her arms. But I plastered a smile on my face and grinned and bared it. The only thing getting me through the day was my phone.

My phone was my lifeline and my medicine for homesickness. Whenever I was having a bad day or just missing home all I had to do was turn on my phone. And I was met with Christen smiling up at me from my home screen. It was a picture that I think one of her teammates took. It was of a picture of a few of us at a party or team celebration I honestly couldn't remember. With Tobin, Pinoe and a few others either side of us while Christen was sitting on my lap with my arms wrapped around her and my chin resting on her shoulder. Both of us smiling at the camera. It was of It's my own way of always having her with me.

She has my sweater and I have my home screen. And that will keep us going until we're back together again.

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you, darling

I focus my camera waiting for the perfect moment until I quickly snap the photo. I grin as I see the outcome of the shots and swear that she could never take a bad photo ever. I wait anxiously taking the occasional picture until the whistle finally blows.

I pull the snood closer to my face and pull my hat down further down my face making me almost unrecognisable. As I make my way onto the field I snap pictures of the players trading after match pleasantries and talking to each other. I smile as I see her smiling and laughing with Tobin and Mal. I raise the camera to my eye and wave at them, "Hey! Can I get a picture?" 

They all nod before standing beside each other and smiling at me with their arms around each other. I quickly take the picture before lowering the camera, "Beautiful! Thank you but I was expecting a better reaction from you".

She looks at me confused before I lower my snood and smile at my girlfriend, "Hey Love". She gasps at me before launching herself into my arms giving me just enough time to move my camera away from getting crushed and catch her in my arms. I spin her around in my arms before putting her back on her feet. "Your here! Omg your actually here!" She squeals as she wraps her arms around my neck.

After passing off my phone to Mal with a smile I securely wrap my arms around her waist pulling her even closer to me, "Yes Darling. I'm here".

We sway side to side for a bit just enjoying being back in each others arms again. "I missed you" she whispers into my neck as I kiss the side of her head, "I missed you too. So so so much Chris".

She pulled back just even to look into my eyes before leaning in to kiss me. Finally being back in each others arms we were so happy to be back with each other. "I love you to the moon and back" I whisper pressing my forehead against hers.

"I love you to the moon and back"

[bakujho]

Time to talk about Predators.

And not the cool 80s movie ones.

So a lot of people have messaged me about this, so figured it was time to make a post to address it, since I think there’s a lot of really valid concerns here. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to, had to unfuck my thoughts and figure out how to say what I needed to say. So first off, here’s the bunch of messages I’ve gotten, and a bunch of posts that make them all very valid. (you’ll have to click on the images to zoom in, i combined everything to not hit the pic limit)

I’m going to put the rest of this rant under a cut with a trigger warning for predatory behavior etc, so anyone can bow out if they’re uncomfortable.

Right off the bat, lets chat about Fictophilia. Attraction to fictional characters. Now, inherently there’s nothing wrong with this, but as we know fiction does not exist in a vacuum. So underage fictional characters exist in an odd space here, since they are not real and no one is being hurt, but the question asked was “why minor characters?”. I think honestly in this case, it’s just that the character types that are preferred happened to be underage. Since the characters (with the exception of Ortho) don’t act like children, they’re all marketed as “boyfriend types” and that’s the nature of this specific media format, which exists to sell. (Which is why it drives me so insane when people write Floyd as acting like a child just to turn around and sexualize him. GUH)

Where this becomes an issue of course, is when it’s no longer simply relating to fictional characters, and where one draws the line as an older person in fandom. I personally think ageism has no place in any fandom, there’s no reason to take up the “godmother” or parental role. We’re all here to be fucking nerds about something, so encouraging minors to approach and interact is something I find SUPER weird. There were a LOT of messages I received from people that had run-ins with Caly/Misa as minors, and THAT is where it becomes problematic. Adding in the support of Vic stuff, despite the hundreds of allegations of sexual misconduct against him (from minors and adults alike), makes me incredibly weary about how she acts around minors.

edit: have been informed this is an old screenshot and no longer applies, though I’m leaving it here anyway cause Vic has been a creep since day 1.

Obviously minors exist in every fandom, but as adults, we need to be mindful of how we interact with them. Straight up, some conversations or thoughts shouldn’t be made public in a space shared by minors. I do not give a single fuck if you wanna sit on Azul’s lap, but PLEASE be aware of your place in the fandom and your IRL age when saying so.

 It’s inappropriate to drop your lewd thoughts into a space accessible to all, save it for an adults only discord server or something.

On that sort of tangent, if you want to daydream about a fictional life with fictional characters as an adult, don’t do it with a self insert...or an OC that is very clearly a self insert as evidenced by these

Constantly complaining that people avoid you because you’re older is bullshit and everyone knows it. 

People are uncomfortable with the way you conduct yourself in the public space, and how you present your not-self-insert-that-is-very-clearly-a-self-insert is what makes people weary. There are plenty of adults in the fandom, and from my experience, none of them have set off alarm bells in the same way. On that note, I will say once again to everyone, PLEASE curate your content. Unfollow people that make you uncomfortable, and if there’s questionable things posted that really make your skin crawl, block that person. If you have been following them in the past, you don’t need to feel bad about unfollowing. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially not a follow. And if you’re afraid of unfollowing/blocking for any reason, don’t be. If anyone comes after you for drawing personal boundaries, all the more reason to have cut that person from your life. 

I did want to chat about a few extra things about that initial post, and just mention how shit it is to try and discredit other coping mechanisms in the same breadth as why YOURS is fine. Now, obviously liquor, drugs, etc are very serious addictions, BUT any coping mechanism when taking to the extreme can be unhealthy. Self harm comes in many forms, and they can all be destructive if they completely control your life (this includes collecting merch. If you can’t pay your bills but are buying merch there’s a problem). Also, there were some EXCELLENT points made off of the initial post that inspired this post in the first place, so instead of trying to paraphrase I’ll just post em.

I’m also working on a post about predatory behavior and how it’s not always sexual in nature, with signs to look out for to keep yourself safe. That’ll have to wait til tomorrow though, since it’s 4am, and I’m not awake enough to really dive into rn, but stay tuned.

[let-patton-say-fuck]

Hello and welcome

This post is going to be long and detailed, but here’s the gist:

I want to create a blog that will serve as a collection of Patton content in which he's portrayed as the extremely interesting character that he is. This includes angst, character studies, theories, discussions of gray morality, etc, etc. Also, I personally heavily identify with Patton, and whenever I see content of him being absolutely feral? Incredibly cathartic. I just think it’s neat. So, this is a blog for Patton content that presents him as more than the “innocent soft little puffball” he tends to be percieved as in the fandom. And, to be honest, more than anything I just want to inspire as many people as possible to join me in my #LetPattonSayFuck agenda. Let him do it. He deserves it.

None (or almost none) of the content on this blog is going to be mine. If you have content you want me to put on here, you can:

Tag me in it

Submit a post

Send me an ask

DM it to me

I will reblog the things people send me and try my best to organise them (more on that after the cut). You can send art, fanfiction, edits, rants, headcanons, memes, just related thoughts that come to your head, basically anything you want.

I will also sometimes reblog things to this blog just because I feel like they fit and I want to. If I reblogged something you created to this blog and you don't want that, please let me know, and I will delete it. Essentially, this is just a place for me to hoard (and navigate) any and all content about my favourite types of Patton characterisation. And you can join, if you want!!

And now onto the details:

About The Different Kinds Of Patton:

Different sides (ha) of Patton might be explored in the posts of this blog, so I think they will require some sort of classification. You can block or search certain tags based on your preferences.

The tags I will be using:

#let patton say fuck - any post where Patton swears (not necessarily “fuck”)

#feral patton - feral Patton. That’s it that’s the tag. Let my boy go feral. Whatever level of feral. From dying your hair at 4am to murder. Give me feral Patton

#angry patton

#patton angst - h u r t  h i m (then help him pls. Not a requirement, just a personal request. Unhappy endings accepted but not without tears). This one will probably have a lot of subcategories

#flirty patton - I will be using this tag for any flirtatious actions from Patton, especially those that wouldn’t usually be seen as “typical” for him.

#suggestive patton - taking the previous tag a step further, this one is for any innuendos, sexual jokes/hints from Patton, whether in a flirty context or just for humour reasons.

#smart patton - any kinds of intelligence. Emotional intelligence, academic intelligence, strategic intelligence, musical intelligence, etc. Bring it on. If anyone wants me to make separate tags for different types of intelligence, please let me know exactly how you want me to do that, and I will, as soon as I can.

#BAMF patton - let him fuck shit up a little. As a treat

#mischief patton - Patton doing pranks, teasing someone, making fun of someone light-heartedly, messing with people. Sarcastic Patton. All that adorable devious shit. Gimme

#smug patton - smug bastard man,,,,,, sarcastic bastard man,,,,,,,,,, teasing bastard man,,,,,, (this one and the mischief one will probably overlap yeah)

#patton and morality - gray morality Patton. Being confused abt moral concepts because morality is hard, man. Patton being wrong, but learning. Patton making mistakes,,,,, I love him

#nsfw patton - I accept NSFW content, it will always be tagged. These posts will also be tagged with "#nsfw" and "#nsfs" (Not Safe For Sanders). This tag is for explicitly sexual things only. Sexual humour/innuendos/hints will all be in the "suggestive" tag. You can filter out one or both, if you want.

Once again, if anyone wants me to make a separate tag, I will.

About The Different Kinds Of Content:

As I’ve mentioned before, absolutely any form of content is accepted. Some tags that will help in looking for specific things:

#pat art - Some art,,, of the Pat,,,,,

#pat fanfic - More on ships later

#pat thoughts - any kinds of thoughts/rants. If you wanna share your ideas or just talk about Patton, this is probably how it will be tagged. Lemme know if you want me to change anything

#pat analysis

#pat theories

#pat hcs - any headcanons!! Ship headcanons!! Random headcanons!!! Vent “This is about Patton but I Am Patton” headcanons haha definitely know nothing about those!!! All headcanons are welcome

#pat memes - memes, shitposts, funny thoughts, incorrect quotes. Anything like that

#pat edits - Video, photo, audio, GIF. Once again, if anyone wants separate tags, I will add them.

Any other types of content will be given their own tags in the future, if they are needed.

The tag for any asks is just "#asks". Anything related to this blog will be tagged "#blog stuff".

About Ships:

All ships will be given their own tags. More ships (poly ships, ships without Patton in them) will be added later as we go. For now here are the tags I will be using for Patton ships (tell me if anything needs to be changed):

#moceit

#logicality

#moxiety

#intruality

#royality

All characters will be tagged as “#ts *character name*”:

#ts logan

#ts janus

#ts roman

#ts virgil

#ts remus

If you don’t want to see certain characters or ships, please just filter the tags.

About Trigger Warnings:

If you ever need me to tag (or change) anything for any reason, please feel free to tell me, and I will do so as fast as I can and as thoroughly as I can.

Trigger warning tags are added to this post as content is being posted. Before posting anything, I will review it for potential triggers and update this post if needed. If anyone wants to add a tag for anything in advance - let me know, and I will do it.

So, let's start:

#pat discourse - any kind of argument against the way Patton is treated by the general fandom. While I think most people here would agree with those opinions, sometimes just the notion of an argument is distressing.

#tw cursing - I mean just in case

#tw murder mention - for references to murder with no details or visuals

#tw murder - discussion of murder with some details and/or visuals

#tw repression

#tw self-hatred

#tw anxiety attack

#tw threats

#tw alcohol

#tw arguing

#tw self-destructive behaviour

And finally!!!! This is a No Unsympathetic Patton Allowed zone. I guess it depends on how you would define "unsympathetic", but no content of Patton being abusive and/or anything similar to that will be posted, and please, please do not send it in. Please don't send Patton hate either, I won't post it, but it will hurt me quite a lot, please don't do that. If you don't like Patton, just go to another blog.

I'm sorry in advance if I ever forget to tag anything, please tell me right away so I can fix it! I don't really know how to run a blog, so I'm sorry if anything is wrong. I'm willing to try my best to keep this as organised as possible, since it's For A Good Cause. Thank you so much for visiting this blog, and I hope you enjoy it!!

[chatty606]

Rating some personal stims

Hand Flapping

Awesome. Got wiggles? Yeah. Just a good way to get that buzzy wiggly feeling to go away. Fun to do with a big smile, sometimes hopping or swaying. Got sleeves? Make ‘em go over your hands. Now flap. That one is a god tier stim.

Rocking/swaying/what I like to call a ~little dance~

Awesome! Normal people rock normally, and if you do it only a little people won’t stare!!! (Hopefully) Way less tiring than energetic flapping, usually for little sways of contentment. Fun to pretend that you’re doing an idle animation!

Chewing

Embrassing to do in public but when stressed?? For some reason it’s actually a godsend?? Brain goes-yes. Now everything stop. Very weirdly calming, works so I won’t complain!!

Tangles

Tactile fun!! Comes in many colors!! Collect many to make the great big tangle ™. Loopy goodness, love worming my wrists into them and pulling and curling up!

Ball Body

AKA challenge: make body as small as can! Put in tight space! Sit on your legs!! Another calming one for I have no idea why but feeling Small is a very good feeling! Great for when sad, great for when comfy!

Blankets

While we’re talking about nice compression feels: blankets!! Big, warm, very comfy. Do things: tuck under feet and body for nice tight, snuggly feeling, pile many on for the feeling of gently being pressed to sleep!!

Fire

Pretty. Wiggles, and very interactive! Blow on it, light a stick, I could probably just watch it for hours lol. Have a candle! Bonus stim: wax! Lighter? Another bonus: flick flick flick!

Dog

Soft, warm, and so full of love!! Just precious babeys wanting to make sure you know you’re loved!!! Brushing them is very satisfying and they are happy to be brushed!! Paws are fun to press and they have pretty eyes too!! Nothing not to love!!

Weighted/Sand Filled Friends

Have many, and they’re rare! But the patterns are pretty?? The silk is nice and they have glitter?? But the best part is the smoosh. Like the smoosh. Best for holding in your hand and squishing!!

Slinky

Another handheld favorite! Can kind of squish and the loops will lay out! Best ones are with gradients and colors and looking at every loop as the color changes! Can be held to grip or flowed around!

(This is long!! And it’s 4am!! Tired, but this was a fun list to write!)

(Also, I haven’t been diagnosed with autism or adhd, I just...stim?? They’re good body feels and they help me. I do have anxeity and depression, and I dunno?? I stim?? Stimming should be way more popular than it is becuase I think many people to it without knowing?? And sometimes people think it’s wierd but it’s not hurting anyone and is helpful?? So,,,yeah.)

EDIT: adfglsk how did stims autocorrect to atoms

Also,,,,spelling and autocorrect. This is why I shouldn’t rant at 4am