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#it is 100% ok to just punch him
puckpocketed · 7 months
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@oensible they’re threatened by his cunty michigans . his endless chatter. his mouthing to taylor swift is an assault on their masculinity ! maybe he’s a pest too (post-whistle slashing and other extracurriculars ahahaha <3) but i think my girl deserves to be annoying like… he’s a moron and a loser and he’s just gotten divorced….
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arolesbianism · 8 months
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You see Jackie is great because she has a similar appeal to me as Maxwell but she's a lesbian and also not british so she's automatically a billion times better and more interesting
#rat rambles#oni posting#starve posting#theyre very different people fundementally but the core appeal of watching a shitty guy dig themselves into deeper and deeper holes remains#bro if they met itd make maxwell so pissy he would not be ok with having someone talk down at him like jackie would#bro jackie would at best be patronizing as hell she would see him as the dirt beneath her shoes#she would not be impressed by his magic tricks at best shed be intrigued by the science behind it but she would not think hes special#now to be clear. jackie is just as pathetic as he is and would 100% die so fast in the constant#like shed get attacked by nightmare creatures so fast and if she survived that a hound would probably maul her#I do hc that at least in the past jackie was decently physically fit but even back then she was like ripped and I think if she tried to#punch something shed miss pathetically and fall over and break all of her bones#olivia is a similar case but shes more fit and probably could barely brute force her way through a few hound waves#the real difference is that olivia would be quicker to adapt and would put up a much better effort at preparing the essentials#now. she would get side tracked as hell by the wildlife. I think if you showed her a carat shed stare at it forever.#but jackie would struggle so hard to adapt and I think the isolation would get to her hard#if you put them together itd just be olivia hard carrying while jackie trips and eats shit every 10 steps#now putting them with the rest of the survivors would be interesting given that I think the two would hate most of them dhdkhdj#like I have no proof that olivia wouldnt like most of them but idk man I dont trust her to not be quietly judging them all#and jackie would probably explode if she was forced to interact with other human beings in a non boss-employee setting#olivia would start calling her jackie again and the others would start calling her that too and shed light herself on fire#wilson would start trying to be buddy buddy with the two and theyd both hate him so fucking much lol#the two would start trying to blueprint machines they could build with what they have and winona would enter frame about to ruin their day#you see winona is like their dark reflection shes like if you took a lesbian and made her the worst but not a bad person this time#shed start critiquing their work for being to fancy and theyd want to strangle her#and god knows how theyd handle the kids I think jackie would have a panic attack and olivia would go smash her head into a tree#and by the kids I mostly mean walter he was hand made to annoy them specifically#oh no wait hypothetical crossover cancelled I forgot abt wanda dont Ever let jackie and olivia meet wanda
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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The funniest thing that could be true about Jo as a headcanon/whatever is that he is ticklish (bc this tracks with his frankly ridiculous amount of layers and it's fun when stoic assholes have vulnerability they can't control).
Who would ever know? Certainly nobody. Even w Arasawa, Masumi wouldn't have a reason to know unless he stumbled into this information by accident, and Jo... I can't even imagine his reaction. Betrayal and fear.
I'm being goosey but it made me giggle to think about and thought I'd share.
Im so sorry to inflict this statement upon everyone but every time i think of tickling i think of that one dane cook bit. About being tickled.
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rene-spade · 6 months
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Ok but how are the crazy f1 dads with their daughters dating? Who on the grid do they like?
oof this is a loaded ask bc they really are all out of it 😭 they just love their babies fr
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! kimi | growing up räikkönen!
FIRST OF ALL kimi doesn’t really vibe with most people in general, let alone anyone who’s trying to get with his little lumienkeli. kimi was lucky to raise a little girl similar to him, who listens when he places a no dating rule lasting until she’s 21 (as far as he knows anyways). despises the guys on the grid trying to get with her; he was one of them once so he thinks of them as animals, especially leclerc who’s known for his brow-raising dating life. also hates pierre but he already didn’t fw him bc he’s french. he is SLIGHTLY more easy going with women around his daughter so any grid guys with girlfriends might have an advantage. he finds that he wants the im-a-dog-and-ill-do-whatever-my-girl-says type for his daughter, but he dislikes unintelligence. he does not like anyone on the grid, but he best tolerates:
mick schumacher!
oscar piastri (+lily)
he vibes with kika okay but hates pierre 💀
bonus! he actually really likes max but his hate/distrust for jos overpowers that so he’s not letting that happen
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! jenson | growing up button!
OK SO JENSON is a bit less intense than kimi, however he is much more publicly affectionate with his daughter which means that he has definitely gone on public rants about how no man is good wen enough for his baby. that being said, he is a decent judge of character so he doesn’t hate anyone on the grid. but he gets real serious when he notices people hitting on his baby. this is mostly bc he was def a whore when he was younger so he isn’t quick to trust guys who are living the same lifestyle he was. he kind of turns on dad-mode when he notices anyone eyeing her up. but alas, he raised his own mini-me, who attracts just about everyone, and who likes to flirt back. it takes warming up to, but he can see himself fine with most of the drivers. he most prefers people who are friendly and who didn’t act like him when he was in f1 like:
george russel
daniel ricciardo
lando norris
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! fernando | growing up alonso!
NANDO IS DEFINITELY one of those guys who thinks he’s a “cool dad” bc he’s a young father and his daughter is his best friend. but in reality he’s one of those intense, fiercely overprotective dads who have impossibly high expectations for his daughters partner. 100% the type to punch a mechanic for saying gross things about his princesa. he’ll be calm and in a good mood then someone on the grid (or any man ever) mentions his daughter and he’s like 😐. UNLESS! it’s carlos. carlos is the only one who meets his standards, sorry to literally everyone else. but even with carlos, he can be a little stern just to get his point across about not messing with his only child. he just feels the need to personally approve of his daughter’s partner bc he’s hyper-paranoid about someone hurting her. his list looks something like:
carlos sainz!!!
that’s it
i mean if you put a gun to his head maybe max bc he’s a winner but he needs to learn to speak spanish so-
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! jos | growing up verstappen! unfortunately
FUCK JOS VERSTAPPEN obviously, however this man is one crazy dad who we have to discuss. his love for his youngest daughter is wild and unpredictable, and it’s very different from the way he treats his other children. his baby has some extreme one-sided beef with him that he’s smart enough to know about, so he isn’t too forceful about bonding, it’s definitely more desperate since max found success in f1 and she sticks with her big brother now. her entire life, he’s never allowed her to date, and when he found out about her first secret bf, he got arrested for trying to kill the kid so. he has IMPOSSIBLY high standards for his daughters partner and definitely wants her to marry within the f1 community, but he hates losers and despises half the grid.
suddenly he’s charles leclerc’s biggest fan !
lewis hamilton but he’ll never admit it
MAYBE carlos sainz
bonus! max obvi likes daniel ricciardo best but jos doesn’t fw him like that
♤ ♤ ♤
Ren
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Who would fight a girl vs who would never???
This would highly depend on the timeline but I think it's generally like this
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Takemichi- 100% would never dare to hit a girl, he was outraged when Yuzuha got hit and when Emma got hurt.
Mikey- ok this one is a hard one since he said he never would and technically we never do see him lay hands on a girl. But he does threaten Senju at one point and it's implied he either hit her or hit someone who knocked into her during the final fight. Is there a middle section he can be put in?
Draken- would definitely never throw hands with a girl, sees it as being a pointless thing to do (he's also seen first hand how argumentative the girls he lives with can get and wants no part in that).
Baji- Seen people argue both ways on this one but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't throw hands with a girl. His mother would kill him. (Aside from sparring at the dojo).
Chifuyu- He'd prefer to just get beat up by a girl rather then throw hands.
Mitsuya- never ever ever, not in a million years.
Hakkai- would panic and run away if this situation ever came up.
Pah- would not hit a girl, might be a bit rude to one maybe even threaten one if she didn't back off but wouldn't actually fight a girl.
Peh- no way, he looked so upset the one time he accidentally made yasuda cry so would never want to do anything to make a girl cry on purpose. 
Smiley- honestly a little torn on this one, his love of fighting and murder is very big but not sure he'd actually fight a girl. I think maybe he would but only if the girl started it and she seemed strong enough to challenge him.
Angry- he doesn't even wanna fight the guys!
Mucho- would fight a girl but only if izana or mikey told him to or she knew something about traitors.
Sanzu- would also fight a girl, literally doesn't care.
Kisaki- he's not much of a fighter but we've seen that he's 100% willing to fatally wound girls so he definitely would.
Hanma- would fight a girl but wouldn't take it seriously, feel like he'd treat it more like a game. Teasing and letting the girl get some punches in, giving her hope before he takes her down, watching the hope fade and seeing how she reacts. Doesn't go picking fights with girls though, just waits for them to challenge him.
Kazutora- would not fight a girl, he seemed outraged to find toman had been targeting girls in that one future.
Koko- would not fight a girl, he definitely seems to think girls need protecting (his comments to hakkai) so I don't think he'd want to hurt a girl.
Inui- he said it himself, he would fight a girl.
Taiju- again we have pretty clear evidence that he definitely would hit a girl.
Izana- would fight a girl if they were strong enough or got in his way, otherwise wouldn't be interested.
Kakucho- would not fight a girl, he seems to be against girls being hurt in general.
Mochi- would also not fight a girl, he seems to have some kind of moral code when fighting so probably wouldn't fight a girl? Might though if they were very strong.
Shion- wouldn't fight a girl cause he sees it as being beneath him. "This fight wouldn't be fair for you against me!"
Ran- would not fight a girl, mainly because he thinks it would damage the Haitani brother's reputation to be seen fighting girls. 
Rindou- Same as Ran but for the added reason that it would be a bit awkward for him to pin a girl down.
South- again canon evidence that he would throw hands with a girl. I feel like he doesn't care about gender just how strong a person is.
Benkei- would not hit a girl, I feel like he'd feel so guilty about it with how big he is so would never. (Aside from friendly spars with Senju where he doesn't go all out anyway)
Wakasa- also wouldn't fight a girl, sees no reason to, would likely just evade a girl if one ever tried to fight him (aside from spars with Senju).
Shinichiro- ohhh definitely wouldn't, he'd probably try hitting on her or trying to talk her around instead. Doesn't see any reason to hurt a girl and is most likely the one to teach Mikey that. 
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semiweirdshipper · 1 year
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Slashers as fathers with a child reader.
Notes: 100% NON-ROMANTIC. Platonic love only. Non-binary reader. The reader is less than ten years old (you decide the age). Freddy is alive and NOT a pedophile.
Summary: The slasher fathers feeling guilty after hurting their child's feelings. PART ONE.
Freddy Krueger
It felt like he had been a completely different person when he did it. Work had been stressing him out, parts of the house needed fixing, and he was a single parent. He wasn't getting enough rest. Eventually every little thing began to get to him.
Freddy hadn't been in his right mind when it happened. You loved making pictures for him, and one day you decided to nail some pictures on the wall by yourself. Not only had you nailed the pictures too low, but you had also accidentally made a large hole in the wall.
The incident had caused Freddy to explode. Not only did he yell at you for ruining the wall, but he ended up tearing one of your pictures in half. "I don't need this shit," He had shouted at you, "You think I feel like dealing with that? You ruined my wall, (y/n), and now I gotta fix it. I just- I can't... Ugh."
Freddy had avoided you for the remainder of the night- not because he was mad at you but because he was afraid he 'would' get mad at you again. It was a bad idea. He should have apologized for the way he acted. Because the next day when he woke up and went into his office, he noticed that every picture you had drawn him had been torn from the nails on the wall, shredded up and shoved in the trash.
Horror, heartache and regret immediately consumed his guilty conscience, and he rushed to find you. You were in your room playing with toys. It nearly destroyed him to see the way you flinched and scurried to hide behind a laundry basket.
"(y/n)," Freddy went to kneel in front of you, "Sweetie, what did you do? Why did you tear up daddy's pictures?"
"Because," You whimpered, keeping your teary face hidden, "You said you didn't need them. You... You tore it in half. I... I'm sorry, daddy. Hic... I-I-I'm sorry th-that I-I made a hole in the wall, an-and I'm sorry th-that you h-h-hate my pictures."
The amount of sadness, regret and complete and utter crushing guilt that fell upon Freddy was suffocating. Hearing your broken apology and seeing the way you were shaking caused him to be so disappointed with himself. He couldn't believe what he had done. Why did he do that? He would never do anything to cause you to feel this way, and he 'loved' your pictures.
And yet look what he caused. Not only did he hurt your feelings by being cruel, but he lost all of his near and dear pictures- even the ones you made when you were a toddler. They were all destroyed.
"I-I'll never color again," You swore in a loud whine.
"Oh no, sweetie, no," Freddy attempted to get closer to you, frowning heavily when you flinched at his touch, "Please don't do that. Listen- hey, look at me. I need you to look at me."
And when you did look at him, Freddy felt like punching himself in the face. You looked so scared, so sad and unbearably hurt. Oh gosh, what had he done? Why?
"Oh (y/n)..." Freddy sighed, shaking his head, "I'm so sorry. Yesterday I... I was just in such a bad mood an-and not because of you but because.... Look, (y/n), daddy didn't mean to act the way he did, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I yelled at you and I'm especially sorry that I did that to your picture. I regret it so much, you have no idea. Please... I'm sorry. I 'love' your pictures (y/n), please don't stop making them."
As Freddy eagerly waited for a brightened response from you, his heart sunk from his chest when you turned your back to him and quietly mumbled, "I wanna play with my toys please."
Excuses and more apologies sat on Freddy's tongue, but he denied saying them for he believed that you simply needed time to forgive him. "Ok sweetie," He got up to leave, "If you need anything, come get daddy, ok?"
"Ok, daddy."
While, over time, you did warm back up to your father, you never did say that you forgave him. And Freddy never got another picture. And he would never, ever stop regretting what he had done.
Michael Myers
Michael was overwhelmed by the frustration work caused. Due to lack of loyal employees, he was forced to work over-time and pull extra shifts. He was sore, tired and angry. It felt like he was the only person at work who ever did anything right.
And that anger built and built until it eventually brought out the worst in him and made him do something that he would regret for the rest of his life.
You loved (sport) and had been outside practicing with some of the neighbors. Michael had been inside attempting to relax when suddenly one of the living room windows shattered. He flinched and rushed to his feet, red clouding his vision when he saw a familiar ball on the floor.
On his way to the door, you ran inside breathless and gasping, "Ah! I'm sorry, daddy, it's my fault. I-I accidentally threw the ball too hard and-"
Michael, with his emotional bridge broken, raised his hand to cut you off. A seething scowl took place upon his face, and he began to lecture you out in sign language. "I don't wanna hear excuses. Why were you playing so close to the house? You should know better. Now look at what I have to fix. All I want is to relax and now I can't because of your stupid (sport). Why do you even play (sport)? You're not even good at it."
Even though his words were literally silent, the crushed look on your face explained that you knew exactly what he had said. Michael ignored your crestfallen face and quiet sobs and demanded that you help him clean up the glass before sending you to your room. Yes, your friends had watched the whole thing.
Michael's seething attitude didn't diminish until the next day after he got some good sleep. He soon realized that he felt bad for how he treated you yesterday and decided that he wanted to apologize. But when he went to your room, he was stricken to see all of your favorite sports gear sitting in a trashcan. (sport) merchandise and even pictures you drew were also in the trashcan.
Overcome with concern, Michael wandered to your bed where you were hiding underneath your blanket. When he tapped on you, you twitched but otherwise kept pretending to be asleep. So he tried again.
You caved and lowered the blanket. Michael didn't like the way you winced at him, your eyes squinted as if you were expecting the worst out of him. He quickly used sign language to ask, "What is going on? Why are you throwing all your (sport) stuff away?"
"I..." Your voice was hesitant and quiet as you gazed away, "I don't like (sport) anymore. I... I-I'm not good at it, an-and you h-hate me playing it, an-and I'm sorry that I broke the window... I'm sorry, daddy. I promise-huh... I-I-I'll never play (sport) again."
What? Michael's eyes nearly popped out, regret, guilt and fear clouding his soul. Oh no. What had he done? You didn't like (sport) anymore? And all because he had overreacted and told you that you weren't any good at it. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. It couldn't be like this. You couldn't stop doing what you loved all because he was stupid and having a bad day.
Sitting down on the edge of your bed, Michael quickly explained with sign language, "But you are good at (sport). Don't quit. I was having a bad day, I didn't mean to say that stuff. You don't have to quit. I'm sorry that I said that. Don't quit playing (sport), you love it."
Your lips wobbled and you turned your head away, your voice a broken whisper, "Ca-an I sleep some more before school. Please?"
Your lack of an answer both irritated Michael and broke his heart. He became angry at himself and regretful about what he had done. He wanted to talk to you more about it, but decided not to. Hopefully you would think about his apology and take all of your (sport) stuff out of the trash.
But, unfortunately for Michael, you never did get back into (sport), and he never got to stop feeling guilty about it.
Bo Sinclair + Uncle Vincent and Lester
Bo could admit that, on the surface, he had a very fragile temper. Ever since he had you he had tried his hardest to hide all the ugly parts of himself, especially his anger. Any time he began to lose his temper, he usually stomped off somewhere by himself to maybe punch something and take a moment to breathe.
So far he had done a fairly decent job.
Up until today that was.
It had been a long week. It was summer. Tourists were pouring in at random needing fast work done to their vehicles. The gas station and church needed extra attention. It was hot outside. And, once again, Bo had a very fragile temper.
It happened when he was elbow deep in truck externals. Ever since you could walk you had always been his little helper. Already at your age your dream was to be an engineer, but you still had a lot to learn. And the fact that you had a lot to learn is what caused Bo to snap.
With the impatience of the person waiting on their vehicle to be fixed, Bo also became impatient. You had been trying to help him, bringing him tools he needed.
Whenever you brought him one too many of the wrong tools, he ended up throwing a wrench and his hat to the ground. "What is your fuckin' problem?" He shouted at you, "Are ya stupid? If ya can't bring me what I need then get the fuck outta here."
You had flinched, tears immediately filling your eyes as you carefully backed up. Bo continued to give you a serious, livid glare that scared you, his words ringing in your head and shattering your heart. He watched you run away, his chest pounding with guilt he ignored as he finished his work.
Bo didn't see you for the remainder of the day, but he did check in with Vincent to make sure that you were alright. As night fell, he became more calm and relaxed, and soon he felt absolutely horrible for how he treated you. He sat on his bench rubbing his forehead in distress for almost an hour wishing he could take it all back.
He had shown you one of his worst sides. And it had hurt you. Now what was he supposed to do? He called you 'stupid'.
Unfortunately for Bo, he didn't get a chance to apologize that night for Vincent soon brought him a note explaining that Lester had taken you home with him for the weekend. Gosh darn it. He really wanted to apologize.
But his apology had to wait for- not one week or two weeks- but a whole month. That's how badly you were trying to avoid him. It was more than enough time for Bo to sit and think about his mistakes.
When Lester finally brought you home, Bo was grateful that you didn't appear to be angry or sad. You rushed to him and gave him a big, welcoming hug that soothed his core, "Daddy!"
"Hey, critter bug," Bo chuckled, ruffling your hair, "Missed you. Guess what? Some ol' couple brought in a beat up station wagon. Needs fixin'. Wanna help?"
"No thank ya," You said casually, leaning away from him, "I don't wanna be a engineer anymore."
Bo's world stopped rotating. "What?" He gave you a stabbed look, "But ya love doin' that stuff?"
"Not anymore," Your voice turned into a lightly disappointed mumble.
Bo's mouth went completely dry. He didn't know what to do or say. All of this time apart he thought that you would have gotten over his temper tantrum, but apparently you 'really' got over it. He had been the boulder that crushed your dreams. And it...
It almost made him wanna cry.
Bo swallowed, trying not to seem too beaten down, "But... Who's gonna be my helper?"
You smiled and pointed to the man standing beside the truck, "Uncle Lester will."
"Right..." Bo nodded, his chest aching with guilt, self-hatred, regret and sadness, "Right."
You never helped him with another car again.
Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal liked to believe that he was the ultimate best at keeping his temper under control. He never got mad at you or expressed any negative emotions towards you. If you needed to be taught a lesson, then he would sit with you and have a firm, constructive conversation about how you needed to improve.
Your bond was strong and healthy and it made Hannibal proud. You even took after him by wanting to be a professional cook. And Hannibal was ecstatic to help you carry that dream into reality.
But one day all of his pride, arrogance and content came to an end.
You had woken up before him that morning and had snuck to the kitchen to make him breakfast. However, things went south and you accidentally ended up breaking one of his rarest, most treasured dishes- a dish that was literally one of it's only kind on the whole planet. And it upset him.
"I-I'm sorry, daddy," You had apologized desperately, "I-I just thought since you liked the plate so much you would also like eating off of it. I didn't mean to break it!"
Hannibal, his heart racing and his nerves burning with anger, had said almost too vastly, "And what lead you to believe that I would enjoy such horrible cooking on my most treasured dish? You knew these pieces were not meant to be eaten off of, yet you disrespected me anyway."
"Horrible cooking?" You murmured.
Because Hannibal was hurt, he couldn't resist the urge to make you hurt as well. "Yes. You are an awful cook. Your presence in this kitchen has always been a waste of time."
The way your eyes widened with hurt and how your hands immediately flew to your chest would be a sight that haunted Hannibal for the rest of his life. Slowly your eyes closed and you began to cry, your hands going to cover your face as you ran away, a sobbed "I'm sorry" echoing through the hall.
Instead of feeling satisfied that he hurt your feelings as intended, Hannibal immediately felt remorseful and guilty. Goodness. He knew that you were young and didn't mean to break his plate. He just... He just treasured the dish so much and now it was ruined forever. He let his emotions get to him, and he hurt you in the process. While it was your fault, he didn't blame you. You were innocent and you just wanted to make him happy.
After he cleaned up his broken dish, Hannibal searched for you and found you snuggled up on the couch. He sat in front of you and spoke calmly, "I'm sorry for getting angry at you. It wasn't my intention. You were just trying to make me breakfast and wound up making a mistake. It happens to all of us."
"I'm sorry..." You whimpered, obviously still upset.
"It is alright," Hannibal reached out and gently squeezed your shoulder. "I'll get started on breakfast."
"Can I help?" You asked hopefully.
Hannibal gave you a hesitant grimace, "I think it would be best if you skipped helping me in the kitchen for today."
Instantly your eyes puffed red and turned watery. Hannibal left you alone to exhale your emotions. He knew that you would be upset for a while, but he too was also upset. He just needed some time is all.
But apparently he was wrong yet again.
After that day, you never helped Hannibal in the kitchen again. For weeks after the incident, you didn't even eat the food that he cooked. It was like you banned yourself from the kitchen entirely. He had tried to coax you into helping him, but you always found excuses not to.
Soon Hannibal learned that he had destroyed your passion for cooking by making you believe that you were a terrible chef. And he regretted it so much that it was nearly unbearable. Hannibal couldn't handle mistakes he couldn't fix.
And no matter how hard he tried, he knew that he could never mend your feelings that he severed.
-
In part two I planned to age up the reader and have them secretly doing their passion behind their dad's back. And the slasher will find out and be like "what, I thought you gave up on that! Holy sh*t, I'm so happy". And the reader will be pleasantly surprised.
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shintaru · 2 months
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Sabbath crew | dating head canons
Hummingbird crew , light Calvary, Kazuma, league of street, windbreaker
m.list ♡ taglist Wooin ~
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spoils you. Will buy you anything you want.
shares his lollipops with you
is down to get matching tattoos and piercings if he sees you being with him for the rest of his life
will protect you
doesn’t want you to be involved with his drug and underground fighting business
wants you to race with him
Sprays his cologne on all the hoodies he lets you barrow
Is 100% ok with pda will kiss & have his hands over you in public he doesn’t care who is watching.
Sprays your perfume on his clothes so he smells like you
Let’s you paint his nails
Will get matching nails with you
Wants you to go everywhere with him. So he can make sure that no one tries to use you to get revenge on him for the things he’s done
Will hop in the shower with you
Probably would buy you a bouquet of lollipops, just so he can eat them
Joker ~
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Personal body guard. You want to take a short cut through a sketchy alley way because you’ll get home faster ? Easy 😭 he can fight so you’ll be safe
Doesn’t want you to watch his fights but will let you clean his injuries
Will go shopping with you, always offers to carry the bags even if you bought something small
Won’t let you go to the store at night. Whatever you need he will get it for you.
Will ask you to baby sit/ keep an eye on his brothers while he is busy. He feels better knowing you’re with them
Loves when you wash his hair. He also loves washing your hair too.
If you mention anyone hurting, stalking, or doing anything that makes you scared or uncomfortable he will beat them up. You won’t even know about it. He will listen to you rant about them and will ask Wooin to find them and he will beat them up. You’ll notice he doesn’t seem surprised when you mention your stalker disappeared.
Will let you watch him train for fights. Not practice fights but weight lifting and boxing with the punching bag. He says you help motivate him.
Will show you some self defense moves in case he isn’t around to help you
Loves seeing you in his clothes
Shares apples with you
Let’s you watch the puppy be picked up
Doesn’t like when you and Wooin laugh at him for things like stopping at a red light in the middle of a race he swears it’s not that funny which only makes you and Wooin laugh more
Would pick flowers for you
Hyuk kwon ~
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Likes having your attention
Enjoys your company even if you both aren’t doing anything
Loves showing you bike tricks
Loves when you style his hair
Will try to teach you different bike tricks
Gets way too excited whenever you want to ride bikes with him
Likes having dates at home
Loves taking baths with you, will splash water in your face
Likes when you make him food
Doesn’t want you to race against him in official matches
Won’t let you walk anywhere alone especially at night
Let’s you wear his clothing
You both wear matching masks sometimes
Vinny hong ~
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Pushes you away a lot of times because he has a lot going on you just have to be patient with him
Keeps his troubles to himself but will go to you for comfort
He’s shy when it comes to a lot of things like hugging and hand holding but eventually he becomes more confident
Likes when you sleep over
His favorite thing is coming home and hearing you laugh with his mom
Doesn’t like when his mom shows you his baby pictures
Freaks out when you shower at his place
Let’s you take care of his cat
Thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest when he first saw you in his clothes
Will make ramen for you
If he falls asleep with you in his arms you’ll almost never get to leave the bed cause he doesn’t wake up easily
Likes when you help style his hair
Asks his mom to help him pick out gifts for you
Will go shopping with you and is very protective over you
Dedicated to @ankita607 @cozyunderworld @inosukehana
I’ll post hummingbird crew and the others soon
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pedge-page · 11 months
Text
Plushies 4 - Teddy
Joel Miller x F!Reader - Yet ANOTHER plushie fic, follows Cluster
Plushies Series Masterlist
Can be read as standalone
Summary: Joel buys you two toys: a giant teddy bear from Costco. And a strap-on dildo.
Warnings: omg where to begin- stuffed animal masturbation, stuffed animal fucking, humping, 69-ing a stuffed bear, sucking dildo, dildo riding, anal play, anal sex, double penetration, pet names, daddy kink, slight cuck!Joel behavior, pussy slapping, finger fucking, vaginal fluids, language, Joel's plush obsession gone too far
18+ ONLY
- - - -
He's shopping in Costco when he sees the absolute behemoth of a Teddy Bear. Standing 7 feet tall, 75 pound of cotton belly, AND $100 off? Joel stares up at the thing and instantly knows he needs to get it for his girl. He doesn't care how ridiculous he looks lugging it into the shopping cart, women in the store eying him curiously as he checks out, and the jealous stares of children in the parking lot as hauls it in bed of the truck and speeds off home.
It just needs one more accessory and then it will be perfect.
-
Joel swipes his arm over the neatly made bed of squishmellows, not thinking twice as they clutter to the ground. He fetches big Teddy over his shoulder and slams its soft booty on the bed. The thing practically takes up the entire surface.
He hears you putting your purse and keys down on the counter in the kitchen. Quickly, he fashions his accessory to the bear before stepping away right as you open the door and are surprised to see him.
And a big fucking teddy bear on your bed.
"Joel! Oh my god!" You squeal giddily.
"You like it? This is Teddy's big brother. Like me"
"So the teddy you bought me for Valentine's day and I've buried in my pussy is...Tommy?"
Joel's hand twitches by his side as he stares at the bear. "Ok, This is Papi Teddy instead."
You kiss him on the cheek before jumping on the bed, legs spread like a starfish to latch yourself to the side. Joel laughs at how small you are compared to the monster. You wrap yourself around its side and smush your face into its dark soft curls, running your hands all over its body thinking about how Joel's hair is just as fluffy.
You go to sit in its lap to make Joel take a pic when you pause, noticing the hard thing between its chubby thighs.
"Joel. Why does this teddy have a strap on dildo?"
"Because he's a mature Teddy, baby."
Why can't I just have a normal fucking boyfriend who punches my stuffed animals' faces, you think to yourself.
"You spent $500 on a giant bear just so I could fuck it?"
"No. Of course not!" He exclaimed, hands on his hips. "It was on sale for $399."
"How much was the strap on?"
"... ok that was $79 with $20 shipping. Anyway, since you wanna fuck it so bad, go ahead. I didnt say shit. How did I end up with such a horny little girl?"
Sometimes you just wanted to slap him in his smug face.
-
Being such a hornly little girl (with your equally perverted boyfriend) is exactly how you found yourself in your current position, wearing cute lacy lingerie and bent over the enormous leg of the teddy bear, hand wrapped around it's silicon pink cock as you took it in and out of your mouth.
"Look so good swallowing Teddy's cock." Joel says. He sat in the chair opposite of the bed and watched you, leaning forward to get every detail of the way you slobbered all over it. "Like it when ya make a mess like that."
You hummed contently, bobbing your head to suck on the tip, giving Joel the show he wanted. It was like being front seat to his own private porno. He's been resisting touching himself, his bulge pressing painfully against the zipper of his jeans.
You pussy throbbs with need at the scene, the pink jeweled plug Joel had placed in your rear twitching each time you felt the tip of the cock gag your throat.
"Straddle his face baby. Let Teddy get a taste of that pussy." You do as he says, pulling your lips off of him to position yourself reverse cowgirl on the enormous plush. Your thigh swings over his massive head, pressing your hips down.
"Oooooohhhhhhh, fuck Joel," you moan when his giant snout makes contact with your clit, mounting it like a horse.
"Not me, princess. Tell 'im."
"Ahhhh, OH , oh God teddy. Love riding your f-face."
Joel humms in content, watching you arch your back with each grind against the plush. "Get back to swallowin that cock with those pretty lips. Show him what a real fuckin nasty girl you are."
You push your hair back with one hand and grab the base of dildo with the other, wrapping your lips around the tip before inching it deeper. Your hips continued to hump the bears face, his massive nose parting your thong, through your folds. A guilty wetness smears against the fluff, its curls darkening to Joel's likeness from your juices.
"Yeahhh, oh baby, you should see yourself right now. Gagging on a big fuckin bear cock. My slutty little whore. Takin it so deep—yeah thats it— all the way. Put 'im in your throat."
You gagg around the plastic, holding your head there as your eyes squeeze shut. You knew Joel loved the feeling, so letting him watch it from another perspective would drive him crazy. You pull away and sucked a breath of air before going to jerk the cock with the copious amounts of saliva you had coated on it. Drool hangs out of your mouth, dripping to your tits and onto the plush but you didn't care. Not when the satisfying grind against Teddy's face brought you closer and closer.
"Wanna cum on Teddy's face, Daddy," you moan, putting the tip back in your mouth and hollowing your cheeks as your hips moved faster.
"Bet Teddy would love it. Do it, rub your slutty cunt all over his face."
Your pace slows with a long whine, eyes closing as your moan around the cock while cumming.
"Fuck, that's so fucking hot, baby. You're a goddamn dream, ya know that?" He groans, leaning back and pressing his palm to his crotch to finally put some pressure on his tented dick.
Your orgasm had barely finished before you were picking up speed again, humping your Teddy's face with your fresh arousal. Your hole twitched against the anal plug. "Daddy, need you to take care of me."
"Ah uh. Teddy might not be able to cum in you like I can but his cock still needs some lovin' from that tight pussy of yours." Joel stands and walks close to the bed, no shame in rubbing his cock through his pants. You whine at the sight, rubbing your pussy faster.
"You makin' a mess over here yet?"
You proudly lay back from Teddy's face and spread your legs, showcasing the large wet area on the stuffed animals face and the equally dripping arousal between your legs, swirling your clit with your fingertip and moaning loudly.
Joel ran his thigh hands through the matted wet fur of the bears face. "Fuck yeah, good girl, good fucking girl." His other hand finds your puffy pussy, smacking your finger away as he drove two thick digits into your wet heat. He finger fucks you aggressively, marveling at your juices splashing against your thigh and down Teddy's forehead. "God damn, got me my own little pornstar."
You throw your head back, clawing to keep your own legs parted as he works your oversensitive spot over. He presses downward, feeling the bulge of the plug through your vaginal walls. Your juices leak down to the jewel, generously coating your puckered hole.
He quickly withdraws his finger, tugging at his button and zipper with a renewed sense of pace. "Get on that dildo and ride your new teddy bear."
Joel moves away to stand close to the bed as you flipp your leg around to straddle the plush's belly. You inch your hips lower, wiggling them slightly to entice Joel. He platfully slaps your ass, making you giggle. Your hand wrapping around the width of the cock to line up at your entrance.
A high pitched moan escapes your lips as you sunk down on the toy all the way to the base in one motion. Your lips find Teddy's nose as you adjust to the girth inside you, kissing it and tasting the remnets of your slick.
"Fuck me, princess," Joel coos, running his hand over the length of your back soothingly. You look stunning like this, the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen. Is this what you always look like while riding his dick?
Gently yet sternly, you feel the pressure of his palm against your back, gliding along each ridge of your spin, urging you to move up and down on the dildo. You set off a slow pace, hands fisting the fluffy chest of your new Teddy friend, slick walls clamping down on both toys buried deep inside you. The plug in your ass occasionally nudged the tip of the dildo, making you whine. You felt very full, but not entirely too much. It was just perfect.
"How's Teddy's cock feel in your tight little snatch?" Joel guides your movements into a faster pace, now bouncing on the cock, tits jiggling with each thrust.
"Fuck, Teddy, feels so good inside me, fills me up so full." You glance at Joel who's licking his lips down at you. "Not as full as my Daddy's cock makes me feel," you add, smiling and biting your lip.
His lips clash against yours at the confession. Suddenly you feel your bralette being ripped off your chest. "Joel—" Your protest muffled by his incessant mouth, biting at your lips and sucking your tongue. You couldn't help but grind faster on the bear while Joel's fingers tweak your bare nipples and cup your swaying tits.
His other hand trails down your spine, swatting your ass. He tugs the thin fabric of the thong over your crack, pressing the anal plug further imside you. You keen into his mouth, tongue swiping his. His fingers honing on your hole, tapping it to remind you of its presence. He slinks further down to where you and Teddy's cock are joined together, your slick pouring down and staining the fluff below.
He feels your wetness at where your folds part to accommodate the pink length inside you. Hand now slick with your arousal, he inches back up to the plug, pressing it further inside you.
You gasp, breaking your heated kiss. "D-daddy, oh fuck... please," you cried, leaning forward, desperate to escape his pressure.
"You want me here?"
You nod, drunk on the need to cum again.
"Cum on Teddy's dick first."
You nod hazily again, arms propping you further up to recapture Joel's lips as he used the plug, tugging and pushing it inside your ass. Your hips move faster, now bouncing on your knees to get the tip of the cock to tap your g-spot inside. Joel loves how good you are at riding, always seeking your pleasure, knowing the exact angles to get yourself to cum.
Joel's fingers wrap around the exterior of the plug and pulls the base expanding around your hole and pulling it out. You cried out in ecstacy. "TEDDY oh—fu-fuuuccckk, s'good oh shit! M'cummin'—cumming on Teddy's cock! Yesyesyes, ughhh—teddyteddyteddyteddy—" you chant, cumming hard on the dildo, arms giving way as you crashed down on Teddy's chest, pussy grinding down against the plush surroundings as you floated in your orgasm.
Joel wastes no time, mounting you from behind, one knee pressing into the mattress with his foot planted directly next to the plush bear foot. You yelp as Joel pushes your body fully flush against the bear, the dildo sinking deeper into your cunt. "Hold on to Teddy, baby."
Your arms wrap around Teddy's middle. You felt a gob of slimy liquid fall directly on your puckered hole, gaping as it swallowes down Joel's spit. His hand spread your ass to watch it twitch, rubbing the tip of his cock to smear it all over, dipping inside ever so slightly before retreating, prepping you.
"Obedient little bitch in heat, just begging to get stuffed full of cock tonight. Gonna take both our dicks at the same time?"
You whine in the bears fluffy chest, wiggling your hips in the air to entice Joel's movements into action.
He lines the tip of his cock against your pulsing little hole before pushing in just the tip, your muffled moans being swallowed by the plush below you.
"So fuckin' tight, babygirl. Holy shit. Never gonna get used to this perfect little ass," He groans, eyes fluttering at the squeeze of your walls struggling to accommodate his length. While the dildo buries in your pussy was generously sized, it was nothing compared to Joel's girth and length, practically splitting you in half.
Teeth clenching into the fluff fabric, you swallow down a cry as Joel's hips inched further, invading your guts.
Joel let out a pained breath as he bottoms out inside your ass. "Fuck, princess. How you feelin'?"
"S-so-so f-mm-fuullll."
He leaned over your body, pressing his cock further into you, his belly slotting perfectly along your arched back. He brushes your hair away from your face to kiss your cheek.
God, you loved this man so fucking much.
He sits back up, aggressive hands seaking your waist as set a brutal pace, hips rutting into the fat of your cheeks.
Nevermind, fuckJoelfuckJoelfuckJoelfuckJoel—
You were trapped between the giant head of the bear and Joel's incessant pounding. Each drive of his hips push you down further into Teddy's softness, the dildo inside you plunging deeper, rubbing against the inside of your belly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, tongue out panting like a dog, arms wrapped so tightly around the plush as you held on for dear life.
"So fuckin' good, oh my Fuck, you're an angel. Just a doll, takin' my cock like this. Getting fucked by your Daddy and your Teddy too—FUCK—sweetest little cunt and ass, my perfect little cock slut, so amazing, 'm so lucky, love ruinin' this ass—holy s-shit!"
The combined fullness of the dildo and Joel's cock inside you rubbed all the deepest, desperate parts inside you, filling you to the brim over and over again. Both cocks rubbing against your walls, their tips nudging, lengths pressing against each other through the membrane. You could feel a drop of Joel's sweat trickle down your back, his harsh almost pained breaths filling the room along side the obscene slapping of his hips against yours.
"You like this? Like getting pounded like the little whore you are?"
"Yes,yesyes holy fuck Daddy yes! Love getting railed by your big cock in my ass, Teddy deep in my pussy—oh fuck Joel 'm cumming!"
You clenched around both Joel's and Teddy's length as you came, screaming into air, uncontrollable shaking as you hump and grind your clit into the soft plush under you, tits pressing against its fullness.
Joel's fingernails dig painfully into the sides of your hips, stuttering his pace as the feeling of you clamping down on him. Brows furrowed, he let out a pained and long growl as he stills completely, cock pulsing, dumping a massive load of his seed deep inside you.
He slips his softening cock out of you carefully before collapsing on top of your sweaty back, sandwiching you between him and the bear.
"I love you," he whispers right into your ear, only for you.
-
Afterwards, Joel cleaned you up with a warm towel, leaving you sprawled arms and legs draped over the bear in the same position he fucked you in, exhaustion preventing you from doing anything other than wince when Joel slipped the silicon cock out of you. He showered you in praise and sweet kisses all over your body, cradling you to lie on your back as he removed the soaked Teddy bear from the bed. He climbed into the sheet with you, after having tossed a few more plushies around your body to surround you in extra softness.
You slept for a few hours. When you awoke, your eyes adjusted the blurriness to see Joel luing next to you on his back, a squishy sitting on his chest as he playfully tilted it to brush again his nose, staring at it with a straight face.
"That one's cute. You wanna take him home?" You asked curiously.
"Well, I mean Kitty is there all by herself on my big bed, could use a friend..." he mumbled, not totally aware that you were watching him eye your stuffed animals on the bed. "Or that's the shit you'd say, right?" He added quickly.
You playfully pout with him, trying to hold a giggle. "He does need a friend..." You said, hoping to encourage this newfound softness of the man you love.
Joel nodded briefly before pausing his fiddling. "Kitty's a he?"
- -
Extended scene:
"Nah uh, I read all cats are girlies on the little machine at The Olive Garden."
"The what?"
"The little tablet thing at Chili's? Says all cats are ladies."
"You mean the true or false quiz that says: Calico cats are almost all female?"
"Yeah 'ats that one."
"That's ONE breed of Kitty Joel."
"I'd like to breed your kitty."
"I can't take you anywhere."
- - - -
Next: Piggy
Or more Teddy special
486 notes · View notes
cheonstapes · 10 months
Note
hiii lovie! first off, i love love love ur writings so much idk how to describe it but you write so… pretty? it’s like I’m reading a love letter from elle woods teehee, second how would you feel about miguel x maddy perez!reader? i just have a really good feeling of miguel liking his women kind of mean, lack of vocal filter who won’t hesitate to kill anyone for him (like LITERALLY) but she’s also a big softie to those who she finds dearly to her. miguel knows how tough she is but knowing her past and what her ex had done to her, miguel would most definitely be protective of his woman. IDK I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SUCH A CUTE CONCEPT HDJDJDND OK ILY BYE
miguel o’hara stars in… ‘YOU LOVE TO BE LOVED’ (*・ω・)ノ
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a/n~ i've never watched euphoria believe it or not, so i watched it for you anonnie!!!!! it's interesting! thank you lovely for the request, sorry for the wait baby, sorry it's a bit short💗
cw; SMUT!! not a lot, reader is lowkey a killer, miguel is whipped, blood, fluff, cutesy couple shenanigans! NAWT PROOFREAD - shame on me!
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sorry, but i think miguel would love to be taken care of by his strong woman
he thinks it’s so sexy when you take charge, knowing when you say what you say — you mean it
you two are practically polar opposites, especially with the way that you dress
he doesn’t mind if you dress more revealing than most cause he knows you can take care of yourself and he’s can definitely take care of you too 
he loves how soft you are behind closed doors too — the whispers and the pure domestication that you exude when it’s just you two alone is too much for him to handle sometimes 
he even proposed early cause he knew you were too good to let go
when he found out about what happened with you and your ex, he was furious 
the thought of someone putting their filthy hands on his girl never failed to rile him up — it was his go-to motivation when he’s at the gym beating the fuck out of those punching bags
he knows despite how tough you may seem, deep down you’re still sensitive 
he pays mind to not raise his voice at you and he never, EVER, puts his hands on you — unless you’re into that
you spoil him, as much as it pains him to see you spending money on him (he should be doing that for you) he wouldn’t refuse it, knowing that’s just how you love
and when you see the cashier tryna chat up your man right in front of you?
miguel says a silent prayer for the poor soul
your nails tapping against the counter as your eyes twitches slightly — you somehow manage to sweetly ask them to meet you out back
when you come back a few minutes later, wiping the blood off of your cheek he just smiles — kissing that same cheek and grabbing your hand, “ready to go, baby?”
he’s that type of boyfriend that would keep an arm around your waist 24/7, making sure he walks closest to the road, carrying you over puddles
it’s extra as fuck but anything for his baby
speaking of anything for you…
definitely a service dom!
he 100% would let you top whenever, i doubt he would be insecure about you taking the lead
when he’s domming, he makes sure to listen to everything you ask of him
you want him to go slower? sure!
faster? sure!
pound you into the mattress? of-fucking-course!
mans just wants his pretty baby to feel good cause that’s what you deserve!
he’s the type to grab your hips, grinding deliciously into your cunt as he pants into your ear — telling you how sweet you are, how much he adores and worships his queen
he’d love it when you’d ride him too, he wouldn’t want to take control either 
just letting you pleasure yourself till your hearts content, it doesn’t even matter if he cums or not — as long as you’re satisfied 
ANYWay
miguel is such a big simp for his meanie gf
giving you all the biggest kisses and titty sucks you deserve
( ◠‿◠ )
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-RAAAAAAAAAAA
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kryptonitejelly · 2 years
Note
ok so we all know Jake is possessive as shit but is it just me that can see him eventually getting to a point where he’s out with his girl and is like yeah baby get those free drinks
like he knows you’re going home with him and him only and he’s got an eye on you if the situation were to go south. but he just has to hold back a laugh when the guy who bought the drinks realizes you have a boyfriend/husband
wkfhskdjsk no, because i can see him getting there as well!! jake might be possessive as shit (because his), but i firmly believe he 100% gets to that point - just because he is there looking out for you in case anything gets out of hand, and c’mon he trusts you 100% - so it just becomes fun for him to watch.
-
“Can I buy you a drink?”
You are standing by the bar, tapping your card on the counter in habit while waiting for the bartender, Kevin, to finish up with the customer he is currently serving when you hear the voice sidle up beside you.
“Thanks, but I got it,” you take a glance towards the stranger on your right, flashing a polite smile. He is good looking no doubt, but you aren’t interested.
“C’mon, no lady should need to buy her own drinks,” the stranger tries again, while propping a forearm onto the bar counter, his body turning, stance open to face you in a casual confidence.
“What can I get you?” Kevin brings his attention to you both. You open your mouth to speak, but the stranger gets there before you do.
“I’ll have a beer, and whatever she’s having,” he drawls, confidently. You hazard another glance towards him only to receive a wink in return.
“I ca-”
“I insist,” he cuts you off almost immediately and you take in his stance, the insistence radiating off his being and you shrug, before turning to Kevin, whose lips now bear an amused quirk; something that one would think is a showcase of amusement at the scene unfolding in front of him, but you know better.
“The usual?” Kevin cuts in, his lips now split into a toothy grin.
“Sure,” you shrug, relenting and Kevin nods lightly, hand already reaching for the card machine, fingers punching in numbers, before he proffers the machine to the stranger who taps his card against the reader.
“So, you come here often?” The stranger asks, and you shrug nonchalantly,
“Now and then.”
“I’m Nick,” he introduces himself, body shuffling forward and closer to you. You smile to be polite, but don’t offer up your own name in response.
“So are you going to give me a name?” Nick asks, leaning forward slightly. It makes you slide back just an inch, “it’s the least you could do.”
“Alright, three beers,” you are saved from responding as Kevin thunks down the uncapped bottles down in front of you both, sliding one towards Nick, and the other two towards you.
“Your usual is two beers?” Nick tilts his head, eyes darting from the sweating bottles and back to you.
“Yup,” you pick the bottles up, one in each hand, nodding a thanks to Kevin, who you note has a lazy wide grin on his face of someone who had seen this happen one too many times “our usual is a beer each” you say simply, while tilting your chin towards the back of the space.
You watch it unfold, Nick’s eyes following the direction of the tilt of your chin, before landing on one Jake Seresin, lounging in his seat, back leaning against the wall, marinating in a quiet kind of smugness, his gazed fixed on you. 
“Thanks for the beers though,” you say, with a small upward curve of your lips, eyes taking in Nick’s jaw which has unhinged itself, as his mind whirls, no doubt the collect itself, “they are, very much appreciated.”
You clink one of the bottles you are holding in a hand against Nick’s own which is still standing on the counter before pivoting on your heel to pick your way back to Jake.
“Who should I be thanking this time darlin?” Jake greets you, his eyes dancing with mirth as you set both bottles down on the table.
“You’ve started to enjoy this a bit too much,” you say, as you squint up, eyes narrowing slightly, at Jake who pulls a bottle off the table and raises it in the air, no doubt at Nick, who you are sure, has post the thanks from Jake, scurried off in annoyance.
“It’s a treat,” Jake drawls, reaching over to slide his fingers beneath your chin, tiling your head up and towards him, before tugging your face lightly towards his own; you can feel the warmth of his breath fanning lightly across your own lips, “free drinks, and the knowledge that they’ll never have you because you’re mine,” he chuckles lowly, before brushing his lips against yours, the ending to his sentence something you feel against your own lips, “nothing more a man could ask for.”
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base0h · 1 year
Note
Smoker, Luffy and croco boy with a s/o who has the same devil fruit as them and uses it to annoy/prank them constantly.
Crack fic pls
Take care love<3
not me starting to laugh like doffy when I saw this💀💀 ew. anon thank you for allowing me to showcase my endless amount of crack in my mind 💜
warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack
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- the amount of times you’ve scared the shit out of this man is kind of sad. I’m assuming poor smoker gets spooked a lot because of your abilities, and sometimes you’re not even trying to scare him 💀
- you could be minding your own business, floating around and flying around the room during a break with a face mask on. Bro walks in and just dies bec the first thing he sees is a detached floating head with a white face
- “WHAT THE FU-?!”
- and when he gets scared he sets off a bunch of “traps” aka stubbing his toe on a chair that was clearly out of the way, and hitting his head on the doorway
- “IT’S ME!” -you
- I mean- what the fuck were you supposed to do? The man just kept falling backwards into things! He thought you were some kind of monster so he just kept running as he tripped over everything in his way 💀
- this is what he thought was happening:
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- “SMOKER. IT’S LITERALLY ME STOP RUNNING!”
- “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY GIRLFRIEND?!”
- Tashigi started chasing after him too because she was wondering something abt navy stuff so he kept getting more scared since he couldn’t see what was chasing him😭he just thought you were multiplying 💀
- I’d be scared too if some Smokey person is literally floating after me with a face mask 😂😂😂
- man smoked 56 cigarettes before finally calming down
- “I wish you didn’t have the same devilfruit as me y/n.”
- “OH COME ON I WASNT EVEN TRYING TO SCARE YOU!”
- “IT WORKED!” -him
- “Do you still love me tho?” -you
- “..yeah.”
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- on your birthday he blew himself into a balloon and camouflaged into the numerous balloons you got from the crew before you woke up
- when you finally woke up (keep in mind, Luffy was so determined that he woke up early for this prank :0) you stared at the balloons with a smile, the crew was so nice!
- “Hey thanks guys!”
- you walked over to them and took the string of one of them in your hand. It’s amazing how you didn’t hear Luffy giggling like a maniac 😭
- he scooted behind you, making himself lose a bit of air so his blown up face was right behind your head, tapping your shoulder with his long arm
- “BOOO!”
- Nah you smacked the shit out of him, screaming as your fists were covered in haki, ready to punch the absolute soul out of him from fear
- “Luffy?! WHAT THE HELL?!”
- “Ow! Why did you punch me?!”
- “BECAUSE YOU SCARED ME!”
- Poor dude’s face was swollen for the whole day, and you apologized for hitting him after he said sorry for scaring you.
- can you imagine a Luffy balloon in your face? No I don’t mean just his stomach blowing up, I mean his fucking face blown up, and the rest of his body looking all skinny as the string 💀💀 pls I’d cry and shit my pants
- you really can’t beat him in pranks because he always seemed to get you better 😭 but you sure tried
- at night when he was snoring away, you attached yourself to the ceiling, your limbs stretching as your head stretched down to him. (You looked like my sleep demon) “Pssst, Luuuuuuffyyy!”
- “Hm???”
- ok when you’re half asleep you can’t really make out anything, so all the poor guy saw was a fucking demon
- the way he screamed and ran was hilarious, he did not sleep well for days, and clung onto you in bed or whenever he got a chance 🥲
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- 100% done with your shit :)
- One time you pretended you were a sandcastle on the beach and waited for him to get closer before making your face pop out at him
- he smacked you with his hook. And… broke your nose 💀
- “…Sorry.”
- “…It’s fine. I’m sorry for trying to scare you.”
- you’re literally struggling to hold in your tears with blood pouring from your nose (BRO WHEN YOUR NOSE GETS SMACKED IT HURTS)
- he felt bad because you’re trying not to cry while sobbing. Poor guy didn’t mean to slap you with haki 💀 nor did he mean to break your nose in half
- he gave you a hug, and let you wear his coat as long as you want since it’s super cozy and fluffy. Also made sandcastles with you while you recovered
- after you felt better, and your nose was finally healed, you both went to the beach again to relax.
- He didn’t like going near the water so he just sat on a chair and watched you find seashells, little sea snails, and other stuff. You brought one back for him, and I swear you’re going to kill the poor guy because of how sweet you are 😭
- he found a mound of sand next to his chair and sighed, you’re trying to prank him again? Didn’t you ever learn?
- “y/n I know that’s you.”
- when there was no response, he grumbled and stood up, poking at the mound with a sigh.
- “Y/n. Please stop.”
- “Huh? Crocodile? Why are you poking that mound of sand?” -you
- his eyes widened as he turned around to see you standing there with a couple sea shells. Wait a damn minute, then what the fuck was this mound of sand doing here?!
- “CROCODILE THOSE ARE SAND SNAKES!”
- The snakes poked their heads out and poor Crocodile picked you up bridal style and started running as they chased you two
- “I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!” -him
- “I’M NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO DO THAT AGAIN!”
- You gotta hand it to him, the first thing he did when he saw those snakes was pick you up and start running as fast as he could 😭 you were glad you had such a caring man :))) because doffy would’ve totally left you to die 💀
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a/n - I feel bad for smoker
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lordoftime01 · 5 months
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(A rewrite of sorts)
Yang: Lying in bed with her head handing off the side
Yang: "Ugh! It's been soooo boring since team JNPR got sent on that mission several months ago."
Ruby: "Hey, at least there was a bright side. Since it was Miss Goodwitch that went with then, Combat Class has become a free time."
Weiss: "I still can't believe that Professor Ozpin had Miss Goodwitch go with them. Especially considering her condition."
Yang: "Oh don't worry I'm su-" Interrupted and startled by a loud yelling.
???: "OH MY BROTHERS!!! IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BACK!"
???: "It is nice to be back, yeah. Those Grimm just never seemed to end"
???: "Oh yeah, and if it hadn't been for fearless leader unlocking his semblance, we could have been goners"
______
Yang/Ruby/Weiss: In their heads 'Wait, Vomit Boy/Jaune/That dunce finally unlocked his semblance"
______
???: "And even better that he saved his and Miss Goodwitch's baby"
______
Yang: "Wait, not only did Jaune unlock his semblance, but he also knocked up the goodbitch our teacher?!"
______
???: "Thank you... Nora for reminding me of that... really appreciate it"
Yang/Ruby/Weiss: Huddle around their dorm room door to be able to hear much better. They heard Nora, Ren, and Pyrrha but haven't heard Juane yet.
Nora: "You know Pyrrha, you have no one to blame but yourself"
Ren: "Yeah. Nora and I told you that if you didn't tell him soon-"
Nora: "Then someone else was going to be his"
Pyrrha: "You're right. I took too long to confess my feelings. And I lost him to our teacher of all people. There has to be some sort of law against that." The pain and hurt in her voice was evident
Pyrrha: Punches the wall hard enough for it, and the surrounding area to rattle a bit.
Blake: Burst out of the bathroom wearing only a towel, pen and notebook in hand. Bowling over her teammates and slamming the door open, startling _NPR
Blake: "What's this I hear about Jaune knocking up Miss Goodwitch!? Give me the details, leave nothing out"
Nora: "Ok so apparently Jaune Jaune and Miss Goodwitch banged each other on Velentine's day." She had a shit-eating grin on her face as the sound of Pyrrha crunching JNPR's door handle was heard.
Nora: "And from what I know, the two of them had been together together for a few months before that." She proceeded to go into great detail of all that she knew.
Glynda: Carefully sits down while groaning. One hand on the chair to help stabilize, the other hand on her extended belly.
Jaune: Comes in with some tea and quickly rushes over to help her
Glynda: "Don't worry Jaune, I had it." Gives Jaune a peck on the lips
Glynda: "Thank you though. I really appreciate it"
Jaune: "You really shouldn't be moving yourself so much. We already had that close call with the Beringel." Pours Glynda some tea before giving it to her.
Jaune: "Ozpin has even told you are to take it easy." He sits beside Glynda and wraps one arm around her shoulder, pulling her close while he places his free hand over Glynda's hand and belly, intertwining his fingers with hers.
Glynda: "Oh, but I'm sure there's so much paperwork that is backed up. Paperwork that I'm 100% sure that Ozpin didn't do and so will just push the work load onto me." Her voice had a slight whine to it as she sipped her tea.
Jaune and Glynda just sat there in silence, enjoying each other's company. Their eyes widened in surprise when they felt their child moving inside Glynda's womb, a smile on their faces as they just basked in the moment.
The two of them hadn't been able to get much alone time during the mission. Now was the perfect chance for them to make up for lost time. Glynda turned her head and gently pressed her lips against Jaune when there was a loud knock on the door.
Glynda: Let's out a groan as their alone time was interrupted. She struggles a bit to get up from her position
Jaune: Gently, yet firmly, keeps her seated as he gets up to see who it was. At the door was Ozpin with a large stack of papers.
Ozpin: "Ah hello, Mr Arc. If you would be so kind as to hand Glynda these papers. I'd be ever so grateful."
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brucewaynehater101 · 4 months
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As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.
Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)
I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.
As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.
I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.
The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).
Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.
I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.
I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).
I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.
Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!
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mountainsandmayhem · 8 months
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You're a Brat, Little Dove
Joel Miller x Female!Reader
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Masterlist
Summary: You play with Joel at your 25 year high school reunion to get exactly what you want. CW: Dom!Joel, Sub/Dom, blowjob, throat fucking, gagging, nipple play, Brat!Tamer, unprotected p in v (they’re in a long-term relationship), oral (f and m receiving), anal play very briefly, pet names, cream pie kink, praise kink, degradation if you squint, denial and edging, NO AGE GAP (Joel and reader are in their 40’s)  A/N: I am absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the love that You're Mine and Stay Still have gotten. Truly, from the bottom of my cold, dead heart I really appreciate your likes, comments and reblogs. Hopefully you enjoy this one, as well. Dividers and banners by @saradika-graphics Word Count: 5.6k
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Dress. Check. 
Nude heels. Check. 
2 daytime outfits.  Check. 
Drive home clothes. Check. 
Make up bag. Check.
Stop worrying so much. You’re not even leaving the country, you can buy what you forgot.
“You ok?” Joel asks as he wraps his arms around you from behind.
“Just the usual pre-travel anxieties.” You say, leaning into his warmth. Your arms unconsciously cross over his, hands resting on his forearms. 
“We’re not leaving the country, you can buy whatever you forgot,” you smile to yourself at how well he knows you as his lips press lightly to your temple. “Remember when I had to go out of town at the last minute before our Disneyland trip and you packed for all of us?”
“Mmhmmm,” you say. The memories come flooding in of those two little girls; one dressed as a princess from head to toe and the other refusing to take off her Darth Vader helmet. The latter was far braver on the “scary rides”, and held her sister's hand until they were both giggling and screaming with delight.
“You didn’t miss a single thing - for any of us. Including the nightlight that Sarah couldn’t be without and the granola bars that Ellie claimed were the only things she could have for breakfast.” 
You turn your head and gently press your lips to his. This is the kind of love that people write about. Supportive. Caring. Complete and unwavering trust. Each person is 100% in for the other, willingly giving when the other needs to take, and never keeping score. You don’t judge the other for any sort of anxiety they might be having or help they might be needing. Partners. Through and through. 
A noise from the kitchen brings you back and you break the kiss. “What is that incessant beeping?” 
“That’s your phone,” he laughs while pulling out of the hug and squeezing your sides. “It’s been going off all morning. Someone is messaging you on Facebook.” 
You squirm free of his wandering hands and go to brush your teeth. When you come back out to the kitchen he’s scrolling through the messages in your phone. 
“Who is it?” You ask, getting your morning coffee ready. 
Joel throws his head back, laughing loudly as he reads in a mocking voice, “Hi. Long time no talk. I saw your name on the guest list for the reunion this weekend. Can’t wait to catch up. Looks like you’re single. At least based on your profile. Glad to see you got rid of that goon you were dating in your 20s.” 
Your profile is blank, a picture of you holding baby Ellie the day you officially adopted her is the only thing on there, and you have maybe 15 friends. Truthfully, you aren’t even sure why you have it, even in the heyday of Facebook, you weren’t exactly a share-everything-about-yourself-on-the-internet type of girl.
“Oh god,” you laugh. “It’s Zack, isn’t it?” 
Joel wipes away a tear from laughing so hard. “Each sentence is its own message, but I’m a goon?” He slides your phone across the counter to you adding, “Can I punch him again when we see him?” 
Years ago, while visiting your parents, Zack got a little too handsy when you ran into each other at a local pool hall. Joel was and very much still is, a ‘touch her and die’ type of lover. 
You both laugh as you kiss him goodbye and head to work.
On your lunch break, you updated your profile picture to you and Joel with the girls at their high school graduation. Hopefully, Zack will get the message. By 5 pm you’re rushing home to get out the door and drive 5 hours to your old hometown. 
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The minute you walk into the reunion you see women’s heads turning to look at Joel. You can’t say you blame them, Joel Miller is the dictionary definition of a DILF! And tonight, in perfectly tailored black pants, a crisp black dress shirt and black tie, his slightly outgrown curls pushed back, and grey scruff perfectly trimmed, he looks hot as sin. And then, just to add insult to an already smoldering hot injury, he recently came to terms with needing glasses for driving at night. Those black frames should be illegal. 
Over the last few days you’ve been sending him articles about spanking and on the drive up had an open and honest communication about what you both wanted out of it. Deep down you’re hoping tonight is your night, you’re tempted to just go back to the hotel and let him do whatever he wants. Instead, the two of you hit the bar to get a drink before finding a table to sit at.
“Who is that lady in the gold sequin dress with the black hair, almost directly behind you?” Joel asks awkwardly, sipping his whiskey.
You glance around the room, trying to not make it obvious when you catch the one person you don’t want around Joel staring right at him. 
“Lucy Garfield.” You say flatly. “She’s the one that slept with Zack seconds after I left for university. I thought they were married but she is eye fucking you so hard.”
“Gross,” he laughs, his nose crinkling up in disgust. He’s so endearing when he’s joking around with you, “Don’t say eye fucking.”
You laugh, “It’s what she’s doing Joel. I wonder how long before she’s over here talking to you.”
You start pushing your chair out from the table and he grabs your leg, “Leave me alone and you’re dead to me”
“Joel,” you giggle and try to push the chair more, “I kinda have to pee though.” 
“Babe, I'm serious. She scares me,” he says with a shudder. “I can feel her looking at me.” 
“Oh, she’s doing more than looking…” you tease, sliding your chair back in.
“Don’t say it.”
He squirms as you lean in to his ear and whisper, “Eye fucking.”
“I hate you.” 
After a few hours of catching up with old friends, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and grab another drink for you and Joel. When you come out of the bathroom Lucy is alone at your table with Joel. You can see the discomfort on his face as she shows him something on his phone. You’re not jealous or worried, but when Zack approaches you at the bar you decide to have a little fun.
“So you didn’t break up with him after all?” He’s leaning back cockily on the bar, arms crossed, eyes locked on Lucy. 
“No,” you laugh while ordering drinks; whiskey neat for Joel and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon for you. “I never planned to.” 
“I figured. Lucy seems to take a liking to anyone you set your sights on.”
“You would know best, Zack.” You’re still facing the bar, but you see Zack glance quickly in your direction at the dig. “Any advice for poor Joel over there?”
“Don’t leave the best thing that ever happened to you for a gymnast with...” he stops speaking when he looks back to you, seeing you with one eyebrow raised as you sip your wine. “She and I are getting divorced.” 
“I assumed.”
“Oh?”
And that’s when you hear it. Your song with Joel. 
‘I know what you look like in the morning
Your kisses are soft and warm’
Joel looks around the room for you, when he spots you at the bar a mischievous grin crosses your face and you lean in close to Zack. 
“Dance with me?” You whisper, giving him the puppy eyes he never used to say no to. 
‘I can draw you with my eyes closed 
Seen you with nothing on but the radio’
He places a hand on your lower back and leads you to the dance floor before pulling you in close. Huh, you think to yourself, 25 years later and still got it.
You look away from Joel and give Zack a tight lipped smile as the first verse of the song melts into the chorus. 
‘I know the kind of thing that makes you laugh 
The way you tilt your head for a photograph
What other guy knows you like that’
You fight the urge not to look past Zack’s shoulder and over at Joel as Zack’s voice drones on in the distance, telling you about his divorce. 
‘And I can name the first guy you ever kissed’
You can’t help but sneak a glance at Joel. Zack is the first guy you kissed and Joel knows it.
‘I can name the perfume on your wrist’
Joel crosses his arms, staring at you darkly from across the room. Fuck, you think maybe you bit off more than you can chew.
‘What other guy knows you like that’
Joel stands and strides over to you. 
Yes. Got him. He doesn’t look mad, if anything he’s looking at you with dangerous desire in his eyes. Your heart flutters as heat travels between your thighs.
“Babe, we gotta go.” 
Zack starts to protest but you release yourself from his arms and say with a big smile, “It was lovely catching up. Thank you for the dance.” 
As Joel leads you off the dance floor he growls quietly in your ear, “You’ve been a very bad girl, Little Dove.” 
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The car ride back to the hotel is silent. Not a word is uttered between either of you, the second the elevator door closes Joel presses you back against the wall.  Towering over you, one of his hands roughly pulls down the right cup of your dress and bra, he pinches your nipple hard between his thumb and pointer finger. 
You gasp out in pain, but he doesn’t say anything, just glares down at you. As the pain morphs into pleasure you squeeze your thighs together, your panties starting to soak through. He releases you when the elevator stops and turns his back to you, you cover your abused nipple back up before you follow him into your room.
“Clothes off and kneel,” he growls, throwing a pillow haphazardly at your feet.
“Joel-I…” you stutter out. He stalks across the room, only the discarded pillow separating you. 
“I said,” he starts harshly. “Clothes off and kneel, Little Dove.”
You swallow the dry lump in your throat while sliding the zipper down the side of your black dress, letting it fall to the ground. A deep, guttural moan escapes Joel as you kick the dress aside and remove your bra and panties. You’re completely bare for him, nothing but your nude heels left. 
“That’s better. Now kneel.” 
You do as he says, getting into his desired position; hands on your lap and eyes aimed at the floor in front of you. He bends, cupping your chin and tilting your face up to meet his gaze. You expect to see his eyes dark and lips tight, instead, you’re met with softness, his chocolate brown eyes boring into you.
“Little Dove,” he starts, his voice just barely above a whisper. “I am going to punish you for being a brat tonight. Everything I plan to do is things we’ve talked about.” 
“Like what?” You ask as your mouth goes impossibly dry.
“No, you don’t get answers tonight. You’re in trouble. Do you remember your safe words?”
You nod, “Yes sir.”
The colour coding system is how Joel prefers to do things. Red if you need to end things, yellow if you need a break or to slow down, and green to keep going.
His thumb caresses your cheek, “That’s my girl.” 
Joel stands abruptly and your gaze follows him. When he looks down at you, his features are no longer soft. His eyes are almost black, eyebrows slightly knit together and jaw clenched. He snaps his fingers and points at the ground and you immediately obey, shifting your gaze back to where he prefers it. He walks across the room, uncuffing the sleeves of his black dress shirt and rolling them up his thick forearms. You hear the unmistakable sound of him removing his tie and his glasses being placed on the table.
“You were a brat tonight, Little Dove,” he says darkly. “Remind me, do I like brats?” 
“No, sir.” It comes out in a nervous squeak.
Joel stares at you for a while and it’s nearly impossible to keep your eyes on the ground. If Joel had to classify himself, he’d say he was a pleasure Dom. He’d rather use pleasure until you’d beg him to stop, but pleasure is earned, and you used that song and your ex-boyfriend to get to him tonight. He saunters back over and pets your head, just as you start to close your eyes and lean into his touch he grips your hair hard and pulls until you’re once again looking up at him. A shocked yelp comes out of you as you make eye contact. 
“I think you did this on purpose because you so badly want me to spank you.”
“N-no, sir.” 
“No? I bet if I reached in between your legs and felt your pretty little pussy she’d be soaked for me right now. Am I right?” 
“Y-yes.” 
“Take out my cock, Little Dove.” 
His grip on your hair doesn’t loosen as you reach up with shaky hands to undo his belt and pants. As you slide his dress pants down his thick thighs you can see him already hard under his tight black boxers. As you lower those, his thick cock springs free, brushing against your face.
“Hands on my thighs,” he barks.
You jump slightly at the harsh tone and move your hands to rest along the sides of his thighs. He moves his free hand to one of yours and taps on your hand 3 times. “You do that if you need to stop. Show me.” 
You tap 3 times on his thigh like he showed you. “Too bad you were such a bad girl tonight. I wanted to please you and not punish you.”
He moves his hand to fist his cock a few times. It brushes your lips as he continues to speak. “Who do you belong to, Little Dove?”
“You sir,” you answer firmly but quietly. 
“That’s right. Open.”
You lick your lips and obey his orders. He lines himself up and slides the tip of his cock in your mouth, pumping his shaft slowly with his hand, the other still locked in your hair. 
“Mine,” he says it like he’s claiming you as he works more of himself into your mouth. You’re surprised how he takes his time, inching in a little before pulling back, letting you swirl your tongue around to get him nice and wet. When he’s finally all the way in, pushing against your gag reflex he groans out, “So…completely…mine.”
You look up at him through your lashes and remind yourself to relax your throat and breathe through your nose, moaning around his cock before he pulls it all the way out. Saliva falls from your mouth and he smirks at you cockily while he fucks himself with his palm, the tip of his leaking dick resting on your tongue. The salty taste of his pre cum sends a fresh wave of arousal to the apex of your thighs, you can feel it gathering on your calves that are tucked underneath you. 
Without warning, Joel starts to fuck your throat. He pushes himself all the way in and you gag around him before he pulls out halfway. He continues this punishing rhythm for a while, muttering darkly about how you’re a bad girl and you deserve to be punished.  
You’re taken aback by how much you fucking love it. Watching him tower above you all big and strong but you know he’s falling apart. He’s becoming putty because of you and your mouth. It’s filthy and slightly degrading, but you realize that you’re the one in control here. You could do this forever and make a mental note to find times to act out more often.  Tears start to run down your cheeks as his thrusts turn sloppy. You know he’s close so you hum around his cock.
“Oh fuuuuck, baby.” He pulls himself out and steps back, strings of saliva falling from his cock and landing on your chin. Your hands hit the ground in front of you as you gasp in a full breath for this first time since he started using your mouth.  The heat between your thighs is starting to become unbearable.
“What did you think was going to happen - huh?” he says in a deep and condescending tone. “That I’d spank you and then make you come?”
“I’m sorry, sir.” You’re not sorry though, you’d do it again just to feel that gush between your thighs when he hits the back of your throat. 
“Only good girls get spankings. So let me make myself very clear.” You straighten your spine and look up at him as he goes back to petting your hair. 
“You are not allowed to cum.” His voice is deep and scratchy, you’re sure he could make a living by narrating erotica, but that voice is yours.
A small whimper escapes you as he continues. “I’m going to continue to use you how I want. If I think you’ve proven yourself to be my good girl, you’ll get that spanking you want so desperately. Understand?” 
He almost purrs as he says good girl and it turns you feral. “Yes, sir.” 
He reaches a hand to you and helps you stand. He gently wipes the tears from your cheeks before kissing the tip of your nose. “Get on the bed.”
As you walk to the bed you bring one leg up to remove your heels. “Leave them on. Hands and knees, Little Dove.”
Fuck, he knows this is your kryptonite. And fuck, you’re back to thinking that maybe you bit off more than you can handle. Joel is predictable about his Sunday plans during football season and nothing else. 
After stripping off his clothes he comes up behind you, rubs the warm tip of his cock through your slit and he lets out a deep moan. Both of you can hear the wetness as he moves from your clit to your ass. “Mmmm - my bad girl clearly liked having me fuck her throat. You’re soaked for me.”
A firm hand pushes down between your shoulder blades and your upper body hits the mattress. at this new angle, everything is bare to him. 
“Mine,” he says again before placing a few long, slow licks from your clit to your ass, swirling and pressing his tongue in all the right places. “So…completely…mine.” 
His tongue teases your clit as he lightly teases your ass with the pad of his thumb.  The heat begins to spread to your spine, the world falls away and all you’re left with is Joel.  Joel and his wonderful and magic tongue.  Joel and his ability to make you cum.  His voice from earlier rings through your cries of pleasure, ‘you are not allowed to cum.’
“I…n-no…” you stutter, squeezing all your muscles to stop the orgasm that’s fast approaching. “That’s gonna…I’m gonna!” 
“Don’t you dare, Little Dove.” He bites down on your ass cheek and you yelp in pain, but glad for the distraction from how close you were to finishing. 
“Such a bad little girl tonight.” He says into your skin before continuing to tease you with his tongue, swirling your clit, moving to gently flick your ass, then back to your clit. You never know where his tongue might explore next and you find yourself mentally mapping out each aisle of your favorite grocery store with your eyes clamped shut to distract yourself. 
“I wanna be a good girl,” you beg, utterly desperate to follow his rules tonight. “Please stop. I wanna be good, sir.” 
“Poor thing,” he says mockingly, rising and sliding himself inside you so slowly that you feel every inch, vein, and ridge. 
“Fuuuuuuuccccck,” you gasp as he bottoms out. A small, pleading ‘please’ escapes your lips but you don’t even know what you’re asking for. Your body feels like liquid at this point, every muscle relaxed and every bone somehow missing. It’s a complete state of nirvana, if only he’d let you cum.
“Not yet,” he drags out of you and slams back in, a complete juxtaposition to how he first entered you. His grip on your hips is so tight that you’re sure you’ll have bruises tomorrow. “This is my pussy, mine. Say it.”
“Y-yours…” you manage to whine. “oh fuck…yours Joel.”
“That’s right, babygirl.  Mine. So…completely…mine.”
One of your shoes falls to the ground as he continues to slam into you.  You no longer know the difference between right and left, you just know that one shoe is missing. As you reach back to touch him, he pins your hand to your lower back, sliding almost all the way out before slowly pressing his hips flush with your ass. 
“No,” he says sternly. “Only good girls get to touch.” 
You scream out his name, begging him to let you cum. Joel leans forward and pulls you up, still fully inside of you, he holds you still against his warm chest, the combination of your sweat and his sweat feeling sticky along your back.  
“You like when I use you like this, Little Dove?”
“Yessss,” you whine. You force yourself not to roll your hips even though the need to orgasm is almost painful. The word yellow flows through your mind. You could say it. You could say it and get what you want, but you trust Joel. You trust that he has bigger and better plans for you. 
“Say it,” he commands while rolling your earlier pinched nipple between his fingers. 
“Use me, sir….Please. I want to please you.”
“That’s my girl. My perfect little submissive.”
He pushes you back down into the sheets and fucks you harder. The sounds of skin slapping skin and your moans and squeals fill the room. You tense every muscle again to stop the orgasm that’s right on the surface. 
“Where do you want it, Little Dove?”
“Inside me, sir.”
Joel curses through gritted teeth. “Fuck, baby.” 
“Fill me, sir.”
“Such a filthy little girl. D’you know that?” His voice is strained, you know he’s close and you just have to hold off a little longer. 
“Only for you,” you say through moans and gasps.
That’s what does it and you push him over the edge with your words, the heat of his spend filling you as he lets out a loud moan. “Good fucking girl.”
He moves his hips into you a few more times, filling you so much it starts to leak out. “Fuck, takin’ me so well, soundin’ so goddamn sweet as you beg.” 
He doesn’t stay in long after he cums, which you’re thankful for because you’re sure a faint breeze could make you detonate at this point. He steps back to admire the mess he’s made, using his fingers to push his cum back inside you before sitting next to your knees.
“Get over my knee.” 
You rush on shaky limbs to get over this lap, wiggling your ass in nervous excitement. He uses one hand to pin your wrists behind your back. “Mmm - that’s my good girl.” 
Joel uses his other hand to draw slow circles along your cheeks. His warm and calloused fingers send shivers across your body.  “How many do you think you should get?” 
“10,” you respond sheepishly. 
Joel laughs deeply to himself. “You were a brat. Do you really think 10 is enough?” 
You audibly swallow in response to what you know is a rhetorical question. You didn’t think your pussy could throb any harder, but his voice, his hands, and this position has every nerve in your body aflame. 
“20, and if you behave, I’ll stop at 15.” 
“Please, sir.” The anticipation is killing you.
“Ok. I am going to spank you with my hand 20 times. You are going to count and say ‘I’m sorry’ after each one. Understand?” 
“Yes, sir.”  You try not to whine, but you need to be touched,
“Give me a colour baby”
“Green,” you whisper needily. 
2 sharp and quick slaps hit your ass.
“1 and 2,” you squeal, “I’m sorry” 
Light finger strokes tickle along the back of your thighs and up towards the now stinging skin. Joel’s hand disappears from your body and you tense. 
“Shhh,” his thumb holding your wrist strokes the soft skin. “Take a deep breath, Little Dove.” 
You inhale shakily, as you try to relax on your exhale, his hand comes down again. When the two of you did your research on spanking, all the experts said you’d know the sound of a good spank, and Joel being, well Joel, has taken it to a new level of perfection. His third spank stings, but it’s quickly replaced with a fresh wave of warmth in your core. 
“Three. I’m sorry,” you love how quickly he can turn you into a whining mess.
From that point you’re in a trance. You almost feel like you’re floating outside your body as Joel continues your punishment. You hear your voice counting each strike of his hand.  A rush of adrenaline courses through you after each one and you can feel his spend leaking out and dripping in between your thighs.
“Eight. I’m sorry” 
“Messy messy girl.” He says, swiping a finger up your thigh and through the folds of your swollen pussy, he stays away from your clit but you could scream with how good it feels. “I should make you clean this up.” 
You turn your head, glancing over your shoulder to face him, readying yourself for him to slide his fingers down your throat. Instead, he licks his fingers clean and then lays 3 quick smacks across your ass. 
“Eleven. Oh god,” your body jolts with the first one but by the third you’re rolling your lips into him for friction, you need more. More pain. More of his fingers. More of anything and everything he’s willing to give you. “I’m sorry.”
Joel isn’t surprised to see that you like the pain, but he is surprised by how much he likes seeing you in pain. He was hesitant about this whole thing, worried about hurting you, but you’ve never looked more beautiful. A blush lights your face and neck, a thin sheen of sweat across your body. Your squeals and cries slowly become wanton moans. He knows it hurts you, but he can also see how that pain is temporary followed by a rush of adrenaline and pleasure. 
“Good job, Little Dove,” he rubs the red hand prints gently. “Fuck, I don’t deserve you.” 
You relax into his lap as his praises wash over you. You feel completely submissive to him and for the first time, you feel what he said earlier. You are his. So completely his. 
“My,” SMACK 
“Perfect,” SMACK
“Little,” SMACK 
“Submissive,” SMACK 
They happen so quickly that all you can do is moan loudly in ecstasy, heat flooding your core to the point that it’s unbearable.  Pressure behind your eyes builds as your neediness grows.  
“Fif-fifteen. I’m sorry, sir.” You’re squirming uncontrollably, tears threaten to spring from your eyes.
“Please - please. It huuuurts.” Joel knows it’s not the spanking that hurts, it’s the animalistic need to cum that’s causing you so much discomfort. 
“There’s my good girl,” he growls, sliding 2 fingers deep inside you. He curls them forward into your tight and messy heat. The squelching of his cum mixed with your arousal fills the room.
“Does this feel good, Little Dove?” 
“Please Joel,” you sob through stuttered breaths, unable to hold back the tears any longer. “P-please - don’t stop.”
“Fuck I love when you say please. Did you know that?  How it makes my cock twitch hearing you whine sweetly, asking so nicely.” 
He slows his fingers, he knows how sensitive you are, he can feel your pussy gripping tightly to his fingers and he wants to bring you pleasure now, not push you into overstimulation. “You took those so beautifully, Little Dove. I’m so proud of you.” 
You cry out a thank you, your orgasm is right there, the heat in your stomach and spine ready to erupt and spread to the rest of your body. As you squirm on his lap you can feel his erection growing beneath you. Joel continues curling his fingers against your most sensitive spot, his other hand letting go of your wrists and moving to soothe the handprints he left. The gentleness of one hand combined with the demanding desire of the other sends your mind swirling. 
“Get up, baby girl.” He slides his fingers out from you and you want to cry out and complain before he adds, “I want you to cum on my cock.” 
Joel steadies you as you stand up in front of him, “Hold on, spin around.” 
You do as he says, albeit slightly confused until he presses his lips to the bright red handprints he’s tattooed across your skin. 
Yep, you think to yourself. I’m His. So completely his. 
You lay back on the bed, Joel crawling between your legs. He’s looking at you the way he used to when you first met, taking in every inch of your skin almost as if to commit it to memory. It’s the complete opposite of how he looked at you while you danced with Zack. His dangerous desire has turned to an overwhelming softness. 
“Lift your hips, baby,” he slides a spare pillow under you. 
His strong hands massage your hips gently as his eyes rake over your red and swollen pussy. “Oh - that looks painful, baby. Do you need me to take care of it?” 
You whine out in frustration, “Please, sir. I need to cum. Please.” 
He lets out a whispered ‘oh god’ at your pleas, hooking one of your legs in the crook of his elbow, the other wrapping around his waist as he lines himself up and then leans down to softly press his lips to yours. He slides inside of you slowly and you’re instantly shaking underneath him. 
“Shhh, you’re ok,” he whispers into your lips before kissing you harder, rocking his hips with perfect precision. “I’m right here. I got you, baby. I got you.”
The soft part of his belly grazes your clit and you cry out into his mouth. “Oh god - I’m gonna cum.” 
“There you go, baby. Cum for me.” 
You fall apart around him, your head falling back in a silent cry to the ceiling. A buzz of electricity shutters through your whole body, your walls clenching around him harder than you thought was possible. 
“That’s it,” he says into your neck as he licks and kisses. “Let go for me.” 
His words spread more tingles along your skin, you tangle your hands in his curls and pull his face to yours. Kissing him deeply as you start to come down. He stills inside you as he comes again, sending you into a wave of aftershocks. You swallow his moans in your kisses, you never want this to end.
“Stay here honey,” Joel says, getting up to walk with wobbly legs to the bathroom. He comes back with a warm cloth and carefully wipes you clean. Your body jolts and you cry out when he gets near your clit, he whispers apologies while drying you with a towel.
You start to get up. “Are you ok?” he questions. 
“I have to pee,” you laugh. As you wash your hands you take in your reflection. Your poor nipple is purple from the elevator, you have mascara down your face, and as you predicted, you are already bruising from his grip on your hips. You spin to see angry, dark red splotches along the globes of your ass and you smile at yourself. Fuck, is there something wrong with me? 
Even though you’re exhausted, you practically skip back out to the bed where Joel is holding a big glass of water and some soothing lotion that he purchased weeks ago for this exact moment. He laughs and shakes his head, he knows he’s in for it now seeing how happy you are with yourself. 
“Drink this and then lay on your stomach please,” adding a quick, “you little brat.” 
“So bossy.” You joke and roll your eyes, but you both love this part and as elated as you are right now, you know you need the aftercare so that your anxieties don’t get you later. So, you do as he says. You drink the water and then lay on your stomach. Joel rubs the cooling lotion on your marks and then places long, light kisses along your spine.
“How are you feeling?” He coos between kisses.
“I’m great. That was amazing. How are you feeling? I know you weren’t too sold on spanking me.”
Joel lies beside you and pulls you in, his front presses against yours, both of you using your own arm as a pillow. “Honestly, I’m surprised by how much I liked it. You looked so beautiful the entire time. I didn’t think I would like it, but….” He trails off looking slightly embarrassed, using his free hand to play with your hair. 
“But?” you push.
“But…well a man my age doesn’t get multiple orgasms very often, makin’ me feel like we’re in our 20’s again.”
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to act out more often. Any cute guys on the job site I can eye fuck?” 
Joel growls as he pulls you over to rest on his chest. “Mine. Now go to sleep, Little Dove. And stop saying that.” 
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Tag List: @corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @mermaidgirl30 @rainstorms-library @smutsmutslut @sullyrocky44 @keylimebeag @pimosworld @casa-boiardi @pedritoferg @paleidiot
Also a special tag for @javierpena-inatacvest because I'm not on a mission to make her a Joel girlie.
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jester089 · 11 months
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If it’s ok, can you indulge my love for The Amazing Digital Circus?
I was just thinking of the gang with an s/o who’s seen as the rock of the group that is always strong willed, happy go luck, helpful and supportive. But they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode where they’re crying in frustration and punching a wall to calm down before going back to pretending like nothing happened?
I have a thing for strong willed characters hiding their perceived weakness from others.
Be strong for them
Thanks for the request! I feel for this type of character a lot. Now you didn't specify if you wanted the whole crew and you being the s/o of one. Or individual. So I'll do individual so that whoever your fav is their'll be something for them. Except Bubble though cause I just can't come up with stuff for them, sry.
Caine
Despite being an AI who doesn't really understand humans I feel he would notice your inner turmoil. He kind of has too! Cause he has to watch for and know if someone is going to abstract. Moving on he appreciates you being strong willed and a joy to be around seeing as how it makes others stick around longer. You can't have a circus without performers after all. Caine being how he is he would most likely just appear in your room while your having a breakdown multiple times because he wants something from you not even noticing you having trouble mentally. Only time he would really notice is if you were at the apex of that breakdown when he showed up. I can 100% see him just floating a few feet away from you one eyebrow raised for a minute with worried eyes before he asked if you were ok. If you said yes, despite what he think's he'll believe you. First few times. If you say no and seem to be looking for some comfort he'll do his best but he isn't exactly good at that kind of thing. More likely then not he wont really touch you but he'll give some words of encouragement and probably ask if their is anything you want (except a way out of the digital realm.) And whatever you ask for you'll have in an instant. But their is a limit. He can't be spoiling you now. He still needs your input on things and giving gifts wont be special anymore if you get whatever you want whenever you want. And after doing the bare minimum and seeing you bounce back and be how you always are he'll assume that what he did worked perfectly and your fine now. He's a little dense I'll be honest. 2.5/10 comfort
Gangle
Now Gangle isn't exactly good with emotions. She has tons sure. But handling them is another story. But you being there and always seemingly in a good mood nothing really affecting you will help her keep calm. I mean just having an anchor can make stuff you usually can't deal with seem small. (Especially if you stick up to Jax for her. Or better yet get her confident enough to do it herself.) When she walked in on you having a breakdown first thing her mind would go to is that your on the verge abstracting which causes her to panic and make the whole thing worse. She doesn't try to it's just a lot all at once. Especially considering how you don't usually show this kind of stuff. Now once the initial shock has worn off and at least she has calmed down some she'll be pretty good at helping you calm down. I mean she's a cinnamon roll. Even if her ways of comfort don't work well just knowing she's trying will definitely help. Now if you cope with more self destructive ways she'll be more worried but try her best to trust you. Though that doesn't mean she'll just let you punch things, especially things that could hurt you (I've punched a few walls in my time and I can safely say it hurts.) Now when you just snap back to how you usually are nothing expect the red eyes and dried tear streams on your face will cause a whole load of more worry in her. How long has this been going on?! Are you ok?! Can she do anything?! DO YOU STILL LOVE HER!?! If you don't accept her help she'll probably start to spiral and take that as you don't trust her enough or you don't think she can help you. So for her sake, and yours let her help. Cause if you do that'll lead to a whole lot of trust and make a very sturdy base for your relationship. It'll also help her get better with emotions as a whole. She wishes she could do more for you but she can and will do what she can with what she has. 8/10 comfort
Zooble
Oof. This probably isn't going to end well. It's basically like a angsty teen trying to comfort someone they care about. Zooble probably acts like she hates how happy and upbeat you are. But she doesn't. When she's laying in bed not wanting to get up the thought of going on an adventure and watching you be dumb on purpose makes her smile and get up. Sure every day is the same in the circus, but with you there it's a nice version of repetitiveness. Now Zooble has a lot of problems. Everyone in the circus does. But if she walked in on your having a breakdown I feel like she would honestly just turn around and leave. Not because she doesn't care. But because she feels she'll make it worse if she stays. Every 5 minutes or so she'll poke her head back in your room to see how your doing. Probably accompanied with a quiet "You uhhh. You doing ok?" if your still crying. Now if she peaked her head in and you were back to normal she might honestly think she hallucinated you crying like that. But their are some things you can't hide. Like puffy eyes or how your voice is a little wavy from crying. So knowing even less what to do now she'll just join you in your room and sit on your bed hoping that just her being around will be enough. Now if you break down again and start venting about what is worrying you she'll sit there and listen intently. If not she'll think that your still not doing ok but she doesn't really know how to bring that out. Or help with it. Overall her comfort is a little lacking but she's trying her best. 4.5/10 comfort
Kinger
Now I headcannon that Kinger is really, really, REALLY good at comfort. I mean did you see the impenetrable fortresses door, and how it was being held up. I don't think a single person ever who is good at making pillow forts is bad at comfort. I feel like overall he would be pretty indifferent to you being all happy though he would appreciate the supportive vibe you bring. He's crazy, I'll just be honest about that. But he seems to be surprisingly resilient as he never gets worse, or better. He just is. When he walks in on you freaking out he doesn't flinch or is surprised. He's been in the digital circus a long time. And he's lost many. He understands why. So he just calmly walks in gives you a light hug No idea how. He doesn't have arms. and a quick forehead kiss. He sits you two down on the floor and makes a little pillow wall around you two. Then he (in a surprisingly calm voice) asks what's troubling you. Now you don't exactly have a choice of if you do or don't tell him. He's lost to many to just leave you on your own in this. So he'll sit there a hand resting on your knee while you mentally prepare yourself. Out of everyone he's the most likely to genuinely and long term help you calm down. He's seen many things, been through many things. No matter what it is that's worrying you it wont surprise him and he can probably help. 10/10 comfort
Ragatha
Well aren't you two just the perfect duo Ragtha is pretty mentally drained having the always be the one that everyone rely on. She was the only anchor for this place the only one keeping everyone spirits high. Then you showed up and made the work 50/50. That's what initially made you catch her eye. You two have enough infection happiness and good vibes to make just about anyone have a good day. Though their are diminishing returns the digital circus wouldn't be the same without you two. When she walks in on your falling apart she reacts two ways. One she also starts freaking out (Just instinct at this point. I mean you saw her in the pilot, every time Pomni started breaking down she interrupted it.) And two a whole lot of understanding on where your coming from. She sits down with you and lets your get it all out before speaking. She asks if your ok, if she can do anything, and what caused it. Once you explain that it's just all so much. The circus, having to be strong for everyone else. It puts so much pressure on you. On hearing that Ragatha breaks into tears flipping the comfort giver and receiver. Once she has gotten most of it out and can make comprehensible sentences again she explains how she's going through the same. On hearing that you feel really bad. You've only been here what a year and your already breaking down over it. But you've always had Ragatha there to lighten the load. But she's been here so much longer doing the exact same but without anyone else to help her. So you make it a kind of personal mission from then on to not make your problems hers and help her out when and wherever you can. -3/10 Comfort. She just had a lot of stuff bottled up and ended up making you worry about even more.
Jax
Jax's first thought would probably be "Oh great, another Ragatha to deal with." But something about you isn't as annoying to him as Ragatha. He actually enjoys and appreciates all that you do for him. And the others too I guess. Now be warned Jax deals with a lot of stuff with humor. And his sense of humor is putting others through anguish mental, emotional, and physical. So when he first finds you crying will most likely make a joke about you being a cry baby or "So you finally broke huh? I always wondered how long it would take" making you feel much worse about it. When if he notices that he'll feel bad and stop maybe. He'll more likely then not just exist in your room, leaning against a wall or grabbing random items off of shelves/your desk to fiddle with. Now when you snap back to how you usually are I really feel like he'll just be like "Oh cool. You fine. Well I'm gonna go get some food." then leave you alone with your thoughts. (I'm sorry to all you Jax fans it's just I don't go for looks like most do. I'm entirely attracted to personality. And Jax's isn't great. I mean Gooseworx confirmed that he isn't like nice deep down. He's just an a$&hole. So if Jax is your fav my Tumblr ain't for you.) 0/10
Pomni
You and Ragatha keep Pomni in one piece. (I mean if Ragatha wasn't in the pilot I feel like Pomni would already be abstracted.) So she kind of clings to you. Not physically but she would fall apart pretty quickly without you there. So when you asked her to grab something for you she did without a second thought. But she wasn't expecting to come back to hearing crying followed by a loud thump in your room. She sprints over and throws the door open only for you to be completely ok and sitting at your desk. You thank her for grabbing it for you then go back to what you were doing making her think she's gone of the deep end and is hearing things. But then it happens again, and again. Leading her to believe your just hiding something from her. So next time it happens she sneaks up to your door and carefully peaks inside only to see your tugging at your hair tears streaming down your face. You punch the wall making her jump and make some noise. Your eyes lock onto the small crack in between the door and the frame you two locking eyes. She blushes heavily then slowly opens the door basically admitting to eavesdropping. She was just worried is all. You quickly clean yourself up and apologize for having her see you like that only causing her to worry more. She doesn't push it knowing from experience how that feels but from that day on she tries to not put as much pressure on you. And makes an effort to return the favor when she can. 4.5/10 comfort (I sincerely enjoyed writing this. Cause I am also a sucker for that kind of character. Hope you enjoyed it!)
xoxo, Jester
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weebsinstash · 8 months
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Hello! I don’t know if you do this but I was wondering what your thoughts were for a Yandere Lucifer Morningstar from Hazbin Hotel? I’m having trouble writing a good representation of him and would like some advice.
Honestly I'm gonna humble myself and say that it took reading someone else's post to make me like, REALLY notice the nuances of Lucifer's character
This post right here literally made me rewatch his scenes and go "oh wow he IS like DANGEROUSLY DEPRESSED"
He doesn't remember Charlie told him where she is, or what she's doing, and he can barely follow a conversation despite clearly trying to pay attention. He also just seems kind of scattered, and um, HE LITERALLY MAKES A JOKE ABOUT DYING FROM FALLING OFF THE HOTEL BALCONY like dude is making jokes about death in front of his fucking daughter, like my dudes, I think this guy is BARELY holding himself together
He clearly loves loves LOVES Charlie but he doesn't really know how to properly articulate himself and I have a feeling there's a lot he's concealing from her, and another big question is, is his depression from being cast out of Heaven, or from something to do with his missing wife, or a combination of both? Either way this man is clearly dealing with like, really bad issues. And Charlie also mentioned he wasn't around a whole lot when she was younger, so... did he have depression back then too?
So, that all said, I feel like a yandere Lucifer would almost be, potentially invigorated by his darling? Given a new lease on life? He may not be 100% his old self again but, you get him to like, 65, maybe 70% on a good day. You give him another reason to get out of bed in the morning, or afternoon, or evening or, whenever he can drag his depressed ass out of bed
Given what we currently know, I feel like a romantic yandere Lucifer would pretend to only be platonic and do his best to poorly conceal his feelings because of his whole... "can't ask his missing wife if it's ok for you to be their third" ordeal, the man still wears his wedding ring, and a platonic yandere Lucifer basically adopts you like another kid, because uh, I mean for one he apparently canonically missed a lot of Charlie's childhood, and he's also an ancient fallen angel, so he's got that age advantage on you no matter how old you are. I mean what are a few decades when he's literally thousands upon thousands upon thousands--you get the idea
Yandere Lucifer would want to stay close to you, helping watch over you, maaaaaybe being overly paranoid about you randomly disappearing and going missing For Very Obvious Reasons, and in the process he winds up being unintentionally overbearing. I mean, he did it in irritation, but he basically showed up at Charlie's hotel immediately saying it was a dump and all of HER FRIENDS were 'a bunch of losers'. He never completely pulls his punches when there's something he's displeased with, even if it has something to do with someone he loves, so his darling would get much of the same treatment. "Ohhhhh, you uh, you wanted to move across the city? That's, um, definitely a fun idea! BuuuuuUuuut, what IF, instead of doing that--", like, he tries to playfully tug you in 'the right direction' until you make him put his foot down
Hmmm... what would him losing his cool look like... well, we've already seen that he doesn't mind throwing hands and WILL KILL, but will stop if he's asked to or there's a good reason. With you, though, you're not typically going to be there to stop him from offing any rivals or bad influences, so I imagine he'd be kinda casual about it, actually! He already thinks pretty lowly of Sinners, so say he finds out you've been ditching him and Charlie to go out drinking with strangers, making new friends, maybe having a few one night stands? Yeah, some of those people definitely aren't calling you back, and Lucifer doesn't really see a problem with it. These people are kind of the worst and really don't deserve you, anyways! If anything he's helping clean up Hell for you and his daughter and keeping you safe :)
Losing his cool with YOU... I think would involve him using his powers to finally confine you, maybe even going demon mode to intimidate you into submission in a very dad-esque "now you listen HERE" kind of way. We don't really know the scope and scale of his powers but I can picture him at least being, obviously much stronger than he looks, and transforming to fly you "back home" where he puts you in your room where no one can reach you without his explicit permission (and you also can't leave~)
One second you're just drunk and jokingly defying him, teasing him, maybe even picking him up and swinging him around because you're bigger than him, to you he's just a silly little guy! Meanwhile this Grown Ass Man Who Is Also The Actual Devil is getting more than just a little frustrated you basically view him as a wacky little cartoon more than a grown man, one who has had sex and has had two wives and sired a child. You're just teasing him and stumbling around drunk when he's trying to get you to your hotel room to get to bed to sleep, like you're clearly not taking him seriously, maybe even playfully putting your hands on him (TOTALLY not riling him up in 'fun' ways) and he finally just huffs and snaps his fingers and, you're suddenly magic'd to bed! You're laying there blinking confused and he's tucking you in and chuckling that "you're such a handful!" before leaving you to sleep and somehow INSTANTLY knowing when you're up.
You ARE in his house, after all...
Not to be gross but uh..... I'm not saying "yandere Lucifer who has the power to still get a Sinner pregnant if he wanted to and you wind up fooling around with him and you're waking up with his little apple symbol on your lower tummy as one of those like hentai womb tattoos to show you're pregnant" but uhhhhhhhhhhyeah that's what I'm saying, and whether it was accidentally or intentionally, he's keeping it, and thus, keeping YOU
I just feel like he'd be very goofy and awkward and bad at hiding his feelings and being very clearly overprotective and jealous in ways everyone else but you manages to pick up on (god Alastor would have some MATERIAL) and, in a romantic/sexual setting he eventually just loses his patience with you not seeing him as a man and just gets... progressively more forward. You pop back into the Hotel after a night out and Lucifer's already hammered at the bar with Husk, stumbling up to you, hanging off of you, slurring and embarrassing himself, "You'reeeee SO pretty... like SO pretty.... do you wanna have *BELCH* you wanna fuck? Cause I LOVE to fuck, like when I FUCKED my wife to make my DAUGHTER, my wife and daughter that I have, 'cuz im a DAD, 'cuz I'm a MAN!" and you're just giggling and ruffling his hair, "You're so weird, dude ^^" and walking away while Lucifer internally screams, wondering just how DIRECT with you he's going to have to be
meanwhile Charlie is totally cool with all of this and sees this as a weird double whammy of Curing Dad's Depression + new family member and friend hurray! and she's totally actively either shipping you with her dad or aiding and abetting him in his weird attempts to absorb you into the Morningstar family
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