#it hasn’t been okay for us for the past four years
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area51-escapee · 18 days ago
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The thing is, this has already been my reality for the past four years. Essentially nothing has changed here, it’s just going to continue on the same track. The only difference is that instead of watching people in blue states celebrate and act like the world is saved by this election, I’m watching people in blue states mourn the protected rights they have, knowing that we will continue to have to fend for ourselves down here.
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sugarsnappeases · 10 months ago
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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333
#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i#lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde#in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one#i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare#my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see#i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour#i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao#okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too#spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand#yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree#literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute#okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here#kara lore#bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol#tag games
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coco-loco-nut · 5 months ago
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Father’s Day
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: max is dating an international star
a/n: i literally had this idea last night and had to write a short blurb, i promise i am writing other stuff tho 🫶
masterlist
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y/username happy father’s day, daddy. i love you and your big…
maxverstappen1 anything to share with me?
y/username not pregnant, just letting everyone know how turned on you get me
maxverstappen1 love you too, schat
user12 anyone else not getting it, like she is so hot and he is 😬
y/username you know that one barbie scene with the rock? that’s my maxie. also if you think he’s ugly, that’s fine, more of him for me 😍
user98 Y/N BARBIE FAN CONFIRMED
y/username priority 1: old barbie movies priority 2: max
user3 ON THE MAIN?
user33 PR monster got her, I really wanna know what she was about to say
recordlabel we don’t… we actually want bleach for our eyes
redbullracing we will share our bleach if you send us demos of her next album 👀
charlesleclerc Go on, finish the sentence, I dare you.
y/username his big heart, ego, ass, trophy case, therapy bill from childhood trauma, i could keep going on but i don’t want to make you feel emasculated
user62 okay, but like how did he bag her?
y/username he has incredible rizz, and look at him🤤
“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you grin as Max lays on you lap, looking up at you with his beautiful blue eyes.
“You aren’t pregnant, Schat,” he laughs, your fingertips gently scratching his scalp.
“We could change that, get some practice in for after the wedding?” you watch his eyes widen as he quickly sits up.
“Practice makes perfect, why don’t we practice now?” Max suggests, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.
Your wedding is small, only some close friends and family in attendance. The ceremony takes place in your backyard, no reception beyond a dinner afterwards.
Despite both your respective fame levels, you didn’t want anyone knowing of the marriage. Fans still thought you were dating, so when you got a positive pregnancy test, you were extra careful.
Max was grateful that you had a private recording studio in the house, for when you needed to drop the album. You didn’t mean to choose the surprise drop date to be at the end of your pregnancy, nor Father’s Day, but life worked in funny ways.
“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you softly say, handing the little bundle off to Max.
“This is the best present, he’s beautiful,” Max hold back tears as he holds his son close to his chest.
“I’m not sure if I will be able to top this next year,” you laugh a little, your tiredness making an apparent after a long labor.
“You should take a nap, I’ll be okay with him,” Max runs a hand though your sweaty hair. To him, you’ve never looked more perfect.
“I have one thing to do first,” you yawn, pulling out your phone. Max slides into the hospital bed beside you, you immediately nestle into him, his warmth enveloping you.
instagram
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y/username SURPRISE! midnight rain is out now! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it for the past four years. There is so much in my life that happened, so enjoy my journey through heartbreak, love, and growth. I want to quickly thank Max and my team for making this possible 💙
user1 AHHH this is so good, but didn’t she and Max break up? Why is she thanking him?
user3 dude, i think they are married, did you listen to everything else
user4 yeah, she had some songs about marriage, but she hasn’t been at any races since last year
user10 did y’all see the statement saying there won’t be a tour for the album?? crying in the club
user11 Okay, but Robin?? secret child??
maxverstappen1 endlessly proud of you, schatje
user5 we get it bro, she wrote Dress and The Alchemy about you
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maxverstappen1 our little robin decided to hatch 💙
danielricciardo So happy for you and Y/n, mate. Big day for the Verstappen family, can’t wait to hold the little guy!
y/username he will love his Uncle Danny
y/username he’s perfect, just like his daddy
redbullracing what a gift for father’s day! sending our gift to you 💙
user42 guys, y/n’s song credits changed…
user21 OMG MAX AND Y/N ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A KID???
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mywritersmind · 27 days ago
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TELL ME IF YOU HATE ME - KA12
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summary : kimi has a crush and a shit way of dealing with it, you think he hates you.
listen up : not proof read lolz! requests are open!!
word count : 1683
⋆。‧˚⋆
The cars zoom past me as I press my finger down and a series of clicks sounds from my camera. I smile, holding my camera up and making sure I got the shot I wanted.
I did.
I see a flash of red by the garage which makes me breathe out, Ollie just crashed and I know it freaked him out. I put my eye to my camera again, zooming in so I can see if he’s okay.
He is.
I snap some far photos of the garages, passing Ferrari, then McLaren, and right as I'm about to skip over Mercedes, something catches my eye.
Lewis isn’t the one who gets out of his car, but a smaller boy with a mess of brown curls. He claps one of the pit crew members on the back and smiles. As he turns to face the track, I get a full view of his face.
Kimi Antonelli.
I had forgotten about the boy who’s driving with Mercedes next year. Ollie was talking my ear off about it last week but still… I guess I was so focused on shooting the cars that I didn’t realize who was in it.
I snap a photo of him, the light hitting his face perfectly as he takes a deep breath.
I’ve never met him, but I was forced to follow Prema by Ollie so I know he fits into Ollie’s odd life perfectly.
I walk back into the ferrari garage, smiling at my boss who takes my camera from me. I’m doing an internship, specifically with Ferrari's media team. Once they found out I like photography, they let me have a camera and media access.
I smile at Ollie who shoots me a thumbs up, letting me know he’s okay. I end up eating alone while scrolling on my phone, some people walk past but because free practice 2 is happened, most people are watching.
I take a bite of my salad and scroll once more. I get a weird feeling after my third bite, and when I look up, it’s the last thing I expect.
Kimis there.
He’s still in his race suit, his hair messy and a water bottle in his hand. His eyes get big when I turn to him. I’m about to raise my hand to wave but he spins around and bolts in the other direction.
I laugh out loud but when I look around, no one’s there to have seen it.
That was… weird.
⋆༺
“Hey, Y/n!” Ollie yells to me across the paddock, he’s standing with Kimi and Jack Doohan. I smile and wave, saying goodbye to who I was speaking with, and flipping my hair over my shoulder before making my way over to them.
“Hey! Happy Quali day!” I smile at them, especially Jack because I haven’t seen him all weekend.
“What are you up to today?” The australian asks me, his hands in his pockets.
“Taking pictures mostly, trying to get a bad one of Charles, and watching Quali. How about you guys?” I turn pointedly towards Ollie and Kimi but the Italian has his eyes pointed elsewhere and his mouth shut.
“Kimi and I.” Ollie grips Kimis shoulder and practically forces him to look at me, he smiles softly but looks back at Ollie as he talks, “are doing the same! Minus the photos and stuff. Wanna grab lunch with us later?”
I nod, pulling out my phone as I get a call, “Shit, i’m so late! See you guys later!”
⋆༺
Quali is fun and the Mexican fans are absolutely exhilarating. After getting caught up with photos, I finally met Ollie and Kimi in the Ferrari hospitality.
Except there’s no Kimi.
I raise a brow as we sit down, “Does Kimi not like me?”
Ollie moves his food around, “Uh… I don’t think so. Why?”
I shrug, “I just get the feeling he doesn’t really enjoy my company. Which hasn’t been much around him.”
Ollie frowns, “No! He just had to shoot something for Mercedes. He wanted to come.”
⋆༺
You know those times where you wish you could go back in time just five seconds? That’s how I feel right now.
“No!” I yell as Kimi turns the corner with four coffees in his hands and runs directly into me. “Fuck!” I back away from him, shaking off my hands instantly.
“Ah!” He does the same, looking up at me slowly, “I am so sorry…” This is the first time he speaks to me? Seriously!?
I take a breath, trying to gain control of my mind that’s screaming. I peel off my sweater, luckily my shirt underneath is untouched.
“I- Shit.” I groan and wipe my arms off with my sweater, “What are you, an errand boy!? I thought I was the one with an internship.” He laughs at this, then slaps his hand over his mouth.
“I’m genuinely so sorry.” He shakes his head, everything on me now smelling like coffee. I look at his shirt which is partly splashed.
“It’s not fine but It wasn’t on purpose.” I shrug, just staring down at the coffee cups.
“I’m such an idiot.” He groans, “Look, I’ll buy you a coffee to make it up to you.”
I smile slightly, crossing my arms, “Coffee in Ferrari hospitality is free. I’m assuming it’s the same for Mercedes.” He shakes his head, looking horrified.
“That shit is gross. I know a place.”
The ‘Place’ in question is in the general admission area. He pulls on my ferrari hat for extra security and grabs our coffees quickly.
“I actually can’t believe you’re wearing red.” We walk the back way, laughing. Maybe he doesn’t hate me? Or maybe he does and the coffee was all apart of some scheme.
He side eyes me, “Neither can I.” He pulls it off of his head, “Toto would kill me.”
Ollie finds us the second we step foot in the paddock, “Hey! Don’t tell me you became friends without me! Do not forget that I started this!”
“Yeah ok, Ol- I’ll give you friendship creds.” I pat his shoulder as he frowns.
⋆༺
It’s dark by the time I head out of the paddock, yawning, I notice Kimi on his phone. “Hey!” I say, smiling as he looks up at me.
Except his face does that weird thing again.
His cheeks go red and he looks like he’s forcing a smile. “Hi.” He says softly.
“Good day?” He nods, looking back at his phone and clearing his throat.
“Yeah.” He keeps it quick before walking away, “Bye.”
“Bye…?” Okay. So I don’t think I'm going crazy now because that was one weird ass conversation. If you can even call it that.
⋆༺
I wake up on race day and do my morning ritual, scrolling on instagram. I don’t go through all of my notifications often, but today something caught my eye.
Liked by Kimi Antonelli
The post is laughable, it’s from two years ago, Ollie and I were celebrating our birthdays since they fall on the same day.
Weird, Again.
I get ready and head out even though that stupid like is on my mind the whole time.
As if the universe is sending a message, I walk into the paddock at the same time as Kimi. He’s talking to his team member in fast italian and I ignore the fact that it’s 100% hot and focus on the fact that he 100% ignored me!
I call Ollie immediately, “Your friend hates me.”
I hear him laugh on the other side of the phone, “Kimi?”
“See! You already know who I'm talking about!” I groan as I enter Ferrari hospitality.
“Y/n. I think you just make him nervous.”
I stop dead in my tracks, “What?”
“Look, I absolutely love you. But you have a total resting bitch face!” I scoff at him even though I know it’s true, “He sees you taking photos a lot and even though I try to get him to talk to you, he’s like scared or some shit. I think he thinks you’re pretty too.”
I hang up.
⋆༺
I watch from the garage, spirits are high but I find myself distracted as Kimis face comes up on the screen.
Why is he so cute?
I bite my lip and think. I want him to like me. I want him to be friends with me like how he is with Ollie! So why can’t he see that? I mean, there’s a possibility he just doesn’t like me.
In that case, that’s fine! I just want to know.
My thoughts are how I find myself cornering him with my arms crossed and my actual bitch face on.
“Um… yes?” He looks scared.
“Do you not like me, or something?” He frowns, “I mean- If you don’t, that’s fine! But I don’t fuck with people who aren’t honest. Because I know i’m not completely likable to everyone and genuinely I don’t care if you don’t like me but I sorta hope you do because Ollie is my friend and Ollie is your friend and he wants us to be friends!” I take a breath.
Kimi just blinks, “I do like you.”
I roll my eyes.
“I just… felt embarrassed.” I raise a brow. Embarrassed? “I dumped coffee on you! And then I liked that post which had Ollie telling me to stop screaming into my pillow.” I laugh at that. “I just… I'm not good with pretty girls.”
That has me frozen.
“And you’re like scary pretty.”
I laugh, smiling, “You’re totally boosting my ego right now.” He just called me pretty.
He rolls his eyes, standing up straighter, “I’m sorry for being awkward.”
I sigh dramatically, “It’s fine.” I flip my hair over my shoulder, smirking, “My good looks just stuns people sometimes-”
He pushes my shoulder, “Oh fuck off!” I laugh with him, his cheeks red again, “Can I make it up to you?”
I bite my lip, hiding my smile, “Pick me up at 8.”
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greynatomy · 1 year ago
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secrecy
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lucy bronze x reader
thanks for the request!
———
Keira, Leah and Georgia have know Lucy Bronze for years. They would always be around each other whenever they had their international duties. They aren’t called the ‘three best friends and Lucy’ for nothing.
However, the three have been noticing some changes in their friend’s behavior. For the past two years, Lucy has become more secretive. She would also lie a lot more to them, something she hasn’t really done before.
They didn’t think much of it until the past couple of months. Lucy’s been canceling on plans more often than not. She would leave right after training ends, not even showering at the facilities. Most importantly, she would have some secret phone calls, making sure to be away from prying ears.
The three best friends wanted to do their own little investigation, wanting to figure out what was happening to their friend and what she was hiding. Yes, it’s a bit of an invasion of her privacy, but they knew Lucy wasn’t going to be telling them anytime soon.
The Lionesses had just finished up a training session, moving into the recovery room for an ice bath. The four friends were in the bath together when a ring of a phone interrupts their conversation. Lucy, knowing it was her phone, grabbed it, seeing the name on the screen and excuses herself to take the call.
Answering the video call, Lucy is met by a face so close to the screen.
“Hi, Paisley.”
“Mama!”
Lucy makes it to her room, a room she isn’t sharing with any of her teammates, getting comfortable at the chair in the corner of the room.
“Did you take Mommy’s phone again?”
“Yeah! Wanted to call Mama. Miss you.”
“I miss you too. Where’s Mommy, bubs?”
“She-um-she watching Potter. Again.”
“Mommy loves Harry Potter. Can you give the phone to Mommy? Mama wants to talk to her.”
“Kay!”
Paisley runs over to the living room where you’re sat, watching a movie.
“Mommy! Mama talk.”
“Mama?” The phone gets shoved into your face where you see the very attractive face of your wife. “Hey, sexy.”
“Hi, beautiful. How are you?”
“Doin’ okay. Pretty uneventful day. How was training?”
“Training is training. I’ve just got done with recovery and gotta take a shower.”
“Ooh, take me with you.” You say with a smirk.
“Down, girl. Keep those pants on.”
“It’s all the hormones talking and it’s all your fault.”
Meanwhile, in the recovery room, Leah, Georgia and Keira all look at each other with a knowing look.
“She never used to leave when taking calls before.”
“Yeah, that’s weird.”
The three quickly got showered and dressed, making their way to their friend’s room, Keira knocking on the door.
The door opened to a freshly showered Lucy.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing. Just wanted to see where you went off to.” Georgia answers.
“Um, okay. Well, it’s nearly dinner, so I was just waiting until we can go.”
“Hmm, okay.”
Lucy is confused by the three’s behavior, but thinks nothing of it.
———
It was now the day of the Women’s Finalissima against Brazil. You were in the friends and family section with Paisley, sat on the seats.
In the twenty-third minute, Ella Toone gets a goal in from an assist by your wife. Paisley jumping up and down from her seat. That was the only goal until halftime.
The second half started, many substitutions and a couple of yellow cards being given out. In the three minute of added time, Brazil got a goal in, disappointing the England team and fans.
Eventually, the match went into penalties. Everyone was on the edge of their seat. England winning 4-2.
“Mama won, Mommy!”
“She did, baby!”
Once the England players got their medals and trophy, friends and family were allowed onto the pitch. It took a while to get down and see where Lucy was, but once Paisley did, she ran straight to her, running into her legs.
The three best friends and Lucy were all celebrating together, hugging and dancing when a force almost knocks Lucy off her feet.
“Paisley!” Lucy grabs her daughter, throws her up in the air and catches her, leaving her on her hip.
“Mama, you did it! You got a trophy!”
“I did! I’ve also got a medal, see.” She lifts the medal, Paisley inspects it.
“Wait!” The mother and daughter are broken from their bubble by Georgia. “Is this why you’ve been so secretive? You’ve got a kid?”
Before Lucy could answer, you finally made your way to her, giving her a kiss.
“Now, who’s this?” Keira asks.
The three best friends were now in shock, mouths wide open.
“Oh, well. Guys, meet my daughter my Paisley and my wife Y/N.”
“You have kept a whole family a secret.” Leah states, a bit hurt, same were the other two.
“Sorry ‘bout that. We’ve just loved our little bubble, especially since it’s gonna get bigger soon.” She places a hand on your stomach.
Leah, Georgia and Keira finally notice your bump, jaw dropping to the floor.
“It’s nice to meet you three. Lucy loves to talk about you guys and all the shenanigans you go through.” You get a couple mumbles for replies.
“Why don’t you guys come over to our place soon. Get to know the family?” Lucy suggested.
“That sounds like a great idea.”
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omiangelic · 16 days ago
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shared moments (dabi)
a handful of shared moments between you and your maybe more than friend, touya todoroki, the flame villain.
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this is a prequel to the first fic i posted, pheonix, but it could be read as a standalone !
wc: 2.8k
reader is not described but is implied to have a quirk that makes them colder. i also imply that they're a nurse who frequently works with burn patients, including dabi's victims.
cw: 18+ ONLY !!! no smut, just kissing, grinding, and shirts come off but it ends pretty quickly after that. dabi accidentally wounds reader (a small burn from trying to wake him from a nightmare), mentions of abuse, murder, dying, and nausea. soft yet emotionally stunted and avoidant dabi
playlist: maybe by flower face, zombie by everglow, voidstar and longlegs by grim salvo
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He’s shaking, head in your lap. You think he might be crying, but his hands are covering his face as he curls up as tight as he can. Dabi didn’t usually spend the night, but on rare occasion you can wrangle him into sleeping a few hours before running off who knows where. Tonight had been fun, daresay cozy, watching bad movies under a blanket so you could use him as a space heater and he could use you as an icepack.
It’s near four in the morning, far past when he usually sneaks out of your tiny apartment, when you awoke to his distress. He’d been squirming on his side of your too-small bed, mumbling and whimpering unconsciously. Even now, you don’t think he’s realized the small burn on your arm from trying to wake him, but you don’t move to soothe it; you’re too busy trying to soothe him. You rub his side over his shirt and pet a hand through his spiky hair even though he’s long since stopped shaking. You pretend you don’t care you have work in a few hours.
Now, he’s completely motionless, arms fallen to the cushion of the mattress. His voice is raspier than normal when he finally speaks, “…Sorry about that.”
“’S okay. I’ve seen worse.”
You both know he’s caused your ‘worse’.
“Do you wanna tell me what’s going on up here?” You tap your fingers softly against his temple. It’s a miracle he hasn’t moved yet.
“Don’t think that’s something you’d wanna hear about.”
“You can tell me anyways,” you can practically hear him go over the notion in his head. You met almost a year and you hardly know anything about the man besides his preferred snacks and the types of movies he likes to make fun of.
He thinks for a bit before stating, “you’ve never asked about my scars.”
You hum in agreement. The healed tissue is naturally textured but worsened from insufficient aftercare. The skin grafts look like they were done by someone with medical experience, at least. “Were you dreaming about when you got them?” The scar tissue on his face always made it look like the flames had tried to take him in its hands; like it wanted to soothe him. Console him. You want to do the same.
“Kinda,” he says after another long pause, like he’s trying to find the words, “maybe more like ‘why’.”
He can’t see you frown at that. You don’t like the implication it carries.
He’s quiet for a long time while you brush through his hair. It’s gotten longer- you think you can see blonde roots peak through the inky black.
“My old man…real shit guy,” he takes in a shaky breath and subtly curls deeper into your lap, “I’m gonna kill him one day.”
(You didn’t think he was serious, then.)
“All he cares about is power. He bought my ma so he could create a child more powerful than him. I’m the oldest of four- and his biggest failure,” you wince at the way he chuckles, “It’s funny. He got what he wanted. My youngest brother is a prodigy. He’s one of the top students at U.A.,” Dabi stops again, like he has to prepare himself for what he’s about to say, “I hated that kid for so long. Tried to kill him when he was a toddler, wanted to prove I was better than him. When I was twelve or thirteen I told dear old dad I got stronger,” another pause “He didn’t care,” another pause, like he’s debating telling you the rest at all, “I burned down half a forest, woke up three years later. The fucker who fixed me up showed me pictures of my funeral and everything. Ma got institutionalized not long after…but I gave myself a new name, since I died that day.”
“What was his name?” You ask impulsively. You wish you could take those words back, stuff them in your mouth and swallow them down
“Who’s?” He looks up.
“The boy who died.”
Dabi looks away again, contemplates before relenting, “Touya. Touya Todoroki”
“Touya sounds like a sweet kid. I hope he’s resting easy.”
It’s like the words flipped a switch in him. He shoots to sit up straight. His eyes are angry. Scared.
“You don’t know shit about him.”
“That’s not the point.”
He gets up, paces the length of the bed a few times, stops, looks at the ground, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know shit about me.”
“And whose fault is that?” You really need to learn when to shut your stupid mouth.
He looks up. Sees you fully for the first time since waking. He can see the welt he caused on your arm in his post-nightmare panic. His anger dies. His eyes widen. You reach to slap your hand over it to shield it from view, but he has his jeans on and his jacket and boots in hand before you can find words to say. He’s out the door before you can ask him not to leave.
(You call out of work that day. You won’t hear from him for three weeks.)
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Later that day, the search results for Touya Todoroki hurt as bad as you expected them to. There aren’t many paparazzi pictures of him, only a handful of him with his dad at award ceremonies.
His dad. Pro hero Endeavor.
The news coverage of his son’s death is minimal, and it’s mostly about Endeavor taking a leave of absence from hero duties to grieve with his family, but the obituary is public. The white haired boy in the picture looks so young. It’s not very detailed aside from denoting that his funeral was a private ceremony.
You open a new tab and search for fire related quirk malfunctions or natural disasters from around the same time. Its not hard to narrow down that the forest fire that destroyed Sekoto Peak was Dabi’s doing. The flames had been massive and unnaturally hot, nearly impossible to contain. There was barely anything left besides charred bone fragments from wildlife and the partial jawbone of the only human casualty they could find. The victim is unnamed, but it says the police were able to identify them through dental records and bring closure to the family.
There’s a handful of pictures of Endeavor at the scene. They make your stomach churn.
A third tab. Endeavor. There are news articles about his most recent achievements and a few about his youngest son, Shoto, who recently passed the entrance exams into U.A., just like Dabi said.
You feel nauseous.
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It’s so comfy laying here wrapped around him like a koala. He’s cold and hot at the same time. There’s one hand cradling the back of your head to his chest while the other rubs your back over the blanket he draped over you.
You don’t usually let him in when work gets you like this. He’s usually the cause, being the most prolific fire quirked villain in the country, but you felt like you needed him today. A little boy had come in with his parents after his first quirk manifestation. All you could see was a young Touya Todoroki when you looked at him. Now all you feel is the pain you feel for the real thing who has you cradled in his arms like you’re more than maybe a friend.
Dabi is prickly when it comes to touch- despite the nerve damage, his scars are sensitive- but for you, he makes exceptions, especially since this is his first time seeing you since his meltdown last month. When he woke up in his dingy-ass apartment today, he knew he had to see you, knew something was wrong. His gut was right. You practically collapsed crying in his arms when you opened the door.
You’ve barely said anything since he’s settled the two of you down on your bed. Every time he thinks about saying something, you burrow impossibly closer into his chest like if you try hard enough you can crawl in his ribs and clean out all the ash and soot that make him up.
He wants to apologize for how he left. He wants to tell you he was scared, that he’s still scared, because he’s never let anyone get close the way you have, and he doesn’t know why he yearns for you to be closer. It’s the only time he ever wishes things had gone differently. If he was closer to a normal guy, less of one of the most wanted villains in the country, maybe he’d let himself be happy to be known by you.
But the only thing Dabi can do is destroy. He burns too hot to be anyone’s light.
Dabi is ruthless. He’s a monster, a villain, a killer; there’s nothing that could clean the blood from his hands.
That doesn’t stop him from pretending things are different, even if just for a moment. You’re naturally cooler to the touch and he finds it hard to imagine ever choosing to be anywhere but in your arms. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling.
Dabi’s never had to comfort someone before. He’s never really wanted to, either.
He isn’t one to be soft or kind or comforting. It’s all so confusing. How do you drag this out of him? Why is he so content with this moment? Something about you makes him different. He doesn’t know what to do with that.
He’s scared. He’s angry. He’s unhappy.
You pull yourself away from him completely, scooting to lay on your back on the other side of your bed.
“Sorry,” you mumble, “you can go now. That was probably really uncomfortable for you. You can leave now, if you want.”
Your eyes are so empty. He’s never seen you like this. He doesn’t know what to do. He thinks he wants to stay, make his last visit up to you with more time tonight, but would you rather he go? Should he ask about what upset you? This is so new to him.
He leaves.
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The next time he’s over, you pretend to not notice the tension in the air. You move around in your usual sync, gathering snacks and scrolling through the worst rated movies you can find. You feign obliviousness to the way his eyes linger on you for longer than usual and curl up on the opposite side of the choice from him, like the months of slowly shifting closer to each other didn’t happen.
The jokes are bored and the laughs are empty.
He doesn’t spend the night. You don’t ask him to. He doesn’t know why he feels so hollowed out when he leaves.
A few weeks later, after watching movies and ignoring elephants in rooms, you fall asleep. Dabi waits, lets whatever’s playing continue to run while he watches you breathe in and out at a steady rhythm.
The credits roll. He turns off the T.V. and welcomes the darkness lit only by the city as he gets up to lay you down on your little couch. He’s never done this for you before- he doesn’t know why he’s doing it now. Your eyes flutter open as he kisses your forehead and tucks you into your blanket you keep out here.
(He did it without thinking, like it was natural, a habit. He was a big brother, once. He hadn’t realized that part of him survived.)
You look up at him as he stares down at you, eyebrows furrowed at his surprised expression. His eyes flicker to your lips without his permission. He’s already leaning over you, it’d be so easy to crawl on top of you, kiss you, wherever and however you want.
He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it. Maybe it’s Himiko’s insistence he grow up and take the risk, maybe it’s a moment of weakness where he allows himself to forget who and what he is, but he’s pressing a soft kiss to your lips without realizing. The contact makes your head jerk back, eyes wide in shock, surprise, wonder. You look at him like there’s something worthy of being looked at. His mouth moves to apologize, but you’re shooting your hands to hold his scarred cheeks and pressing you lips to his before he can try. Your skin is so cold against his had surprised at the lack of steam. He thinks you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.
He doesn’t reciprocate in his shock. His response is even further delayed by the fact that he’s never done this before. He feels like a teenager- or what he imagines what being a teenager under more normal circumstances would allow him. As you move to pull away, afraid you’ve somehow overstepped, Dabi is snapped out of his shock, and he’s pulling you back in. His kiss is messy, wet, spit slick as his tongue licks into your mouth with no hesitation. The taste of his urgency is unexpected but he feels so incredible you can hardly stand it. You revel in the way his dull nails bite into your skin when you whimper at the sensation.
His hands are heavy as they make their way down your body, nearly pushing like he needs a constant reminder that this is real. Before you know it, he’s on the couch, on top of you, pushing at your shirt and you’re pulling it over your head in compliance. Dabi takes the moment to yank off his own; his torso is a marble of normal and scarred skin with a shiny barbell through each nipple. You wonder briefly if the metal is hot like the rest of his skin as his lips crash back into yours. One hand in your hair, the other on your waist- he’s pushing you down, pulling you in, until he's all but crushing you in his desperation.
You moan when he lets up, “Dabi-“
“No, no- don’t call me that. I don’t want to feel like a villain with you,” he’s equally breathless, practically heaving above you.
“…Touya?”
Your uncertainty is immediately discarded when he fully moans at the sound of his given name on your lips, “yes, yes, thank you-“ and he’s kissing you again, cradling your face like you’re porcelain but grinding down like you’re the farthest thing from fragile.
His grip tightens when the pressure of his hips makes you moan.
The weight of his body makes you dizzy. His lips and hands move down your neck, licking, biting, and sucking at all the skin newly exposed to him and it feels so good you don’t now what to do with yourself. You decide on shoving your hands in his hair; you’re pulling it at the root when he bites down next, and he’s moaning into your throat like it might kill him to be quiet.
What does he want from me? The question crashes through your brain like a bullet. You don’t know if you want to actually ask. Would it be so bad to let this happen, just to have him close like this? Is the burden of wanting from afar easier to carry than having him halfway? Yes. Of course it is.
Your sudden unresponsiveness stills him. He pulls away to find your eyes distant and face neutral.
“Touya?” You ask after a silent minute filled with his thumbs rubbing circles in your waist, “what did that mean? To you, for us?”
He gulps, “I don’t know.”
He hadn’t thought this far ahead. He hadn’t thought at all.
“You don’t know,” you echo.
He’s off you before you can decide what to make of his answer.
“Sorry, don’t know why I did that- sorry,” you think you hear as he fumbles around for his coat and his boots. You don’t say anything. You don’t even look at him. Instead, you focus on the ceiling it’s almost too dark to see. You think you hear him pause at your door, but your head is so loud and intelligible you aren’t paying attention.
The static doesn’t block out the sound of your front door shutting, though.
(Neither of you realize he left his shirt behind until after he’s already out the door. You pretend you resist the urge to cuddle it to catch his scent on it, and he will pretend he doesn’t imagine you doing just that.)
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Ever the coward, Touya runs. He throws up his shame once he’s in his own apartment. He knows he shouldn’t have left. He didn’t want to- but he didn’t know how to stay either.
He hates himself more than he has in a long time for tonight.
His burner buzzes in his pocket. It’s Shigaraki. plans in motion.
He doesn’t think you’ll forgive him for doing this, but it’s been building since before he met you. It’s not like he has any sort of life or future to look forward to anyways. It’s not like he gives you much to miss anyways.
Soon. Endeavor’s head. Soon.
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steddiealltheway · 1 year ago
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Part Three of Six of Meddling ;). Part One. Part Two. AO3 Link.
Nancy drives the four of them to whatever mystery location as Steve has a minor freak out in the backseat because it’s finally hitting him that he kissed Eddie. And Eddie kissed him back. And that’s not something he wants to just breeze over and pretend never happened.  
How will things ever be the same after this?  
Steve runs a hand through his hair as reality hits a little too hard.  
“You okay?” Eddie whispers as his hand moves to rest on Steve’s knee.  
Steve glances down at the hand and squeezes it once before he replies, “Yeah.” But he knows his smile is a little too forced based on the way Eddie’s staring back at him with concern.  
The car slows to a halt.  
“We’re here!”  
Steve glances out the window, and it suddenly hits him. They’ve taken them to the bar where they first met.  
“Throwback,” Eddie breathes out.  
It had been a while since they had been back there. Things had changed over the past three years, and they had found a new bar with better acoustics for Eddie to play at when he isn’t hogging the small stage at the café where he works.  
Still, sometimes Steve misses the place where some of his best memories had formed.  
Once they get inside, nostalgia hits Steve in a way that’s almost bittersweet. Eddie must be feeling the same way based on the low whistle he lets out next to him as they look around. Nothing has really changed since they were last here.  
“We’re going to grab a table away from you guys but remember to take pictures and just text whenever you want to head out. But this is our lunch plan so eat up,” Robin says with a big smile before grabbing Nancy’s hand and pulling her to a far corner spot.  
“I’m kind of relieved that they’re not sitting with us,” Eddie admits as he and Steve walk to the opposite part of the somewhat dead bar. “Can’t wait to get that camera out of my face. I just hope they don’t try to sneak pictures of us while we’re eating.”  
Steve snorts. That sounds exactly like something Robin would do, so he does his best to find a booth where he can’t see the girls and vice versa. He eventually points at one and sits across from Eddie, and the sight of him thoroughly distracts him from any thoughts about Nancy or Robin.  
Eddie pulls out his phone and sets it down on the table. He taps on it once and asks, “What if we only did a cheesy picture of each other before we eat, with our food, and a quick selfie after we finish? Then we can just live in the moment and enjoy this.”  
Steve sticks out his hand for Eddie to shake. “Deal.”  
Eddie grabs his hand and presses a quick kiss against the back of it. “Deal,” he agrees with a wink.  
A blush starts to creep up on Steve’s face, so he ducks his head and grabs his phone – but he knows he’s not being subtle about trying to hide his face. As a new means of distraction, he hits the camera icon and quickly snaps a picture of Eddie without warning. “Pre-date picture done.” Oh, why did he have to call it a date?  
Eddie luckily brushes off his little blunder and scoffs, “No, you have to redo that. You gave me no warning!”  
Steve just laughs as Eddie pouts. Next thing he knows, Eddie’s phone is coming up and snapping a picture of him. Steve freezes. “Hey, that’s unfair.”  
Eddie snorts and presses on the picture. He frowns at it before turning his phone around. “Why do you always have to be so photogenic?”  
The picture is... very telling of everything Steve is feeling. He can practically see the joy and love radiating off himself in a way he hasn’t seen before. It’s terrifying.  
Eddie turns the phone back and clicks around a few times before proudly smiling and turning his phone off.  
“What?” Steve asks suspiciously.  
“Oh, nothing. But could you check the time on my phone?” Eddie asks, sliding it over.  
It’s a weird request, but Steve goes through with it, tapping on the screen. “It’s...” he trails off before he sees the time.  
His smiling face stares back at him as it covers the lock screen on Eddie’s phone. He glances up at Eddie who watches him somewhat anticipatorily. Steve doesn’t say anything, but he unlocks his own phone and immediately changes his lock screen to the picture he took of Eddie.  
It’s cuter than Steve thought it would be considering that he took Eddie off guard. He isn’t looking at the camera. Instead, he’s smiling softly at Steve with his dimples on full display. The only thing wrong with it is that it’s a little bit blurry, but he thinks it adds to Eddie’s general vibe.  
It’s the perfect lock screen really although he thinks Robin and Dustin might kill him for kicking them off it.  
It’s worth it.  
As Steve slides his phone to Eddie, a waiter comes by and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Tony, I’ll be your waiter today. And the ladies over in the corner told me you two were celebrating an anniversary today?”  
Oh, no. Even from a distance, the two are meddling as much as they can. Steve is about to say no when Eddie replies, “Yes, it’s been three years since we first met in this very bar, and two years since we started dating.” He leans in toward the waiter all conspiratorially and stage whispers, “Give it a year, and I’ll probably be back to propose to him right here.”  
Steve chokes on his saliva.  
“Sorry, babe, did I say that too loud?” Eddie asks with a big smile. He turns back to the waiter. “He’s always telling me that I don’t know how to whisper.”  
It’s true, but Steve can’t say very much as he keeps coughing.  
“We’ll get two waters please,” Eddie says, starting to sound a bit concerned.  
The waiter must be too because before Steve knows it, a glass of water is being placed in front of him and he’s chugging it down. Gosh, he wishes this were a beer.  
Eventually, the coughing dies down, and Steve shoots an apologetic look at the waiter. He just smiles back and politely asks, “Do you know what you want to order?”  
Steve shakes his head and swipes the water off his mouth. “Haven’t looked at the menu yet, we were too busy... reminiscing.” Since when is he playing along with the lie?  
“No worries. You two take your time and happy anniversary.” The waiter quickly dismisses himself, and Steve is left to stare at Eddie.  
“Why would you do that?”  
Eddie throws his hands up. “One, this is great practice for faking a relationship, lets us establish some backstory. And most importantly, two, celebrating an anniversary means a free dessert.”  
“We’re at a bar, not a Chili’s.”  
“There’s still the potential!” Eddie argues back. “Please, Steve, my love, my sweetheart, my muffin-”  
“Please never call me your muffin ever again,” Steve says, cringing.  
Eddie sighs but then a mischievous grin slowly appears on his face. This can’t be good. “I promise not to call you that if you pretend to be my boyfriend of two years during this lunch.”  
The payoff is quite great, but he can’t let Eddie know that, So, Steve takes his time rolling his eyes and pretending to weigh the pros and cons of it all while Eddie shakes the table with how hard he’s bouncing his leg.  
Steve reaches under the table and grabs his knee to still it. “You have yet another deal. But you have to stop shaking the table, too.”  
“Sorry,” Eddie apologizes bashfully. He quickly moves on when he realizes Steve’s phone is still on the table and taps on the screen. He smiles at it and pushes the phone back. “Not as bad as I thought.”  
“Not bad? It’s perfect,” Steve scoffs as he grabs one of the menus at the end of the table.  
He doesn’t get a response, but Eddie is smiling at his menu when Steve glances up.  
Eventually, they put in their food order and chat about random things just to catch up a bit although Steve talks to Eddie every day – usually in person but occasionally over text.  
Then, Eddie randomly throws out the question, “So, are you seeing anyone?”  
Steve swallows hard and shakes his head. “No, are you?”  
“No,” Eddie replies.  
Steve tries and fails to hide a smile. They both know if they started dating someone the other would be one of the first to know, but it’s cute that Eddie asked.  
Their food comes out, and their conversation halts for a bit while they eat. But the relationship conversation plays over and over again in Steve’s head until Eddie interrupts his thoughts. “Man, I can’t believe it’s only been three years since I met you.”  
Steve laughs and finishes chewing his fry. “It feels like I’ve known you longer.”  
“Technically you have, if you count all the times Dustin mentioned my name before we met.”  
“Could’ve met sooner if I hadn’t been so afraid that you would be a weird nerd,” Steve teases him.  
“Hey, you know I’m both of those things, so don’t say it like it’s an insult,” Eddie says with a smile.  
“Well, I didn’t think those two things could be hot together, so excuse me for assuming,” Steve replies while shoving a fry into his mouth.  
Eddie leans forward. “You think I’m hot?” he asks as if he’s teasing him, but Steve can hear a bit of the uncertainty in his tone, so instead of shaming himself for admitting it he shrugs.  
“Always have.”  
Eddie stares at him for a few seconds before he clears his throat and changes the subject, “You should’ve worn the yellow sweater.”  
The comment startles a laugh out of Steve. “Of course you would bring that up. I’ve never understood your obsession with the thing.”  
“Well, there’s a reason I brought it up now.”  
“Oh really,” Steve says raising his eyebrows, not ready for whatever line Eddie has prepared. “And why’s that?”  
“It’s what you were wearing when we first met,” Eddie says as if it’s nothing.  
It takes Steve entirely off guard. His stomach does a little flip. “You remember what I was wearing after all this time?”  
“Yeah,” Eddie says but quickly moves on to ask, “Speaking of that night, what happened to that girl you were with?” He looks away as he asks the question, taking one of Steve’s fries but still not looking him in the eye as he eats it.  
Steve tries to shake off the little piece of information Eddie just gave up as thinks back. He shrugs. “Nothing happened there. I was actually on a date with her that night. She left after we met. Told me I should go out with you instead since I hadn’t paid her any attention since the moment I laid eyes on you.”  
Eddie glances back up at him, holding so much intensity in his gaze. “Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”  
“Because I didn’t think I had a chance and didn’t want to risk getting my heart broken.”  
Eddie stares at him, and Steve thinks that they both feel it. All the time they lost that they could’ve potentially spent together if Steve would’ve said something three years ago. But maybe Eddie is thinking something entirely different.  
“Steve-”  
“Hi, I hope everything is tasting alright. Also, I have a dessert on the house for you two. Happy anniversary, and I hope to see you two next year,” the waiter says as he slides the check on the table. Steve swears that he has the same bad timing as Robin and glares at the man as he turns his back.  
“Steve-” Eddie tries again, but then, speak of the devil, Robin is suddenly scooting into the booth next to him and making grabby hands at the dessert.  
“I love free dessert,” she says. “Thanks for going through with it. I thought it would be good practice.” It’s a clear lie based on the way she’s staring at the chocolate cake.  
Nancy gives Steve an apologetic smile as Robin steals his spoon and digs in.  
Steve shoots Eddie a look trying to convey, we’ll talk later.  
He gets a sad smile in response, then they both pick up their forks and take a bite of the cake. Steve can barely enjoy it as he knows that the fate of his and Eddie’s relationship might rely on their next conversation. But Nancy and Robin also won’t leave them alone.  
This is not good.  
Part Four
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delusionalfanficwriter · 9 months ago
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Accident: part 2
Leah burst through the door of Y/n's hospital room, her breaths hurried and eyes wide with worry, having just landed in the States, thirty minutes ago.
"Shhhh," Maya hushed her, her voice a gentle command cutting through the tense air of the room. "We just got her to settle and sleep after another panic attack. She's not in good shape, but she's awake and coherent, which, considering the crash she had, is nothing short of miraculous."
"Another panic attack?" Leah's disbelief hung heavy in the air. "What's that, the seventh one in twenty-four hours?"
"It might've been more if we hadn't insisted she close her eyes and try to rest," Carina chimed in wearily, her hand rubbing circles under her tired eyes.
The exhaustion was palpable in the room, a heavy blanket draped over each of the women as they gathered around the young soccer star.
"Did Dr. Shepard give any update about her legs?" Leah's voice wavered, the question a lifeline thrown into the swirling uncertainty.
Maya and Carina exchanged a glance, a silent acknowledgment passing between them before Maya took the lead, her voice steady but tinged with concern. "Dr. Shepard said the scans show inflammation compressing the nerves, but she's hesitant to jump into surgery just yet. The risks outweigh the potential benefits. She's not confident Y/n will regain feeling in her legs, but she did offer a glimmer of hope."
Leah sank back into her seat, the weight of the news settling heavily upon her shoulders. She turned her gaze to Y/n, sleeping peacefully amidst the chaos of uncertainty. "Fucking hell. She doesn't deserve any of this. She fought so hard to rebuild her life and soccer keeps her sane..."
"Maya and I are terrified," Carina added, her voice barely above a whisper, "the mere thought of not being able to play again... it's tearing her apart."
Leah's eyes widened in disbelief. "You mean you haven't told her?"
Maya shook her head, her expression pained. "We couldn't. Not with everything she's already been through. The stress, the trauma... telling her now would only push her further into despair. Y/n's mental state is fragile, Leah. We haven’t seen her in that mental state in such a long time. We had to protect her."
“I understand. I haven’t really seen or known of her life before soccer. She still hasn’t shared much of her past despite our two year relationship.”
“Can’t blame her. It took a lot of time for her to trust us enough to let us in even partly but don’t feel any way about it. She doesn’t like dwelling on her past life but I think this might be triggering her to life before soccer.” Carina explained. 
The three women conversed in low whispers until a change in the monitors caught Maya and Carina’s attention. A sudden shift in the monitors' readings drew Maya and Carina's attention like a magnet, their heads snapping in unison towards the glowing screens. Leah, sensing the change in atmosphere, followed their gaze, her heart rate picking up as she struggled to comprehend the significance of the sudden activity.
With a sense of urgency, Carina rose from her seat, her hand outstretched toward y/n's shoulder. Her touch was gentle yet firm, a silent plea for the slumbering figure to awaken. Meanwhile, Maya leaned in towards Leah, her voice a soothing murmur amidst the tension, explaining the possible cause of y/n's distress—a nightmare, triggering an alarming spike in her heart rate.
"Bambina, wake up," Carina's voice cut through the silence, laced with a mixture of concern and reassurance. "Everything is alright. Maya and I are here. Leah is also here with us, but you need to open your eyes to see she really is here. You are okay. You are okay. Bambina, c’mon."
As sweat glistened on y/n's forehead, her features contorted in the grip of her subconscious torment, she struggled to surface from the depths of her nightmare. Carina's words echoed faintly in her mind, but it was another voice—a voice she recognized and cherished—that pierced through the darkness, calling her back to consciousness.
"Hey cookie monster," Leah's voice was a beacon in the darkness, a lifeline for y/n to grasp onto. "I’m here. I just landed not long ago, but I am here holding your hand. I need you to open your eyes."
With each word of encouragement from Leah, y/n felt herself slowly breaking free from the nightmare's grasp, her consciousness emerging. And then, with a sudden jolt, she jerked awake, her eyes darting around the unfamiliar surroundings until they landed on the familiar face of her girlfriend.
Leah's hands cupped y/n’s cheeks, their foreheads pressing together in an intimate gesture of comfort. "You’re hot," Leah remarked, a hint of concern tainting her usual playful tone.
"I’m in a hospital gown," y/n chuckled weakly, trying to brush off Leah's observation with humor. But Leah's expression remained serious as she turned to Carina, voicing her suspicions.
"I think she’s running a fever," Leah said, her voice tinged with worry.
Carina wasted no time, her movements swift and decisive as she pressed the back of her hand against y/n’s forehead, confirming Leah's assessment with a muttered curse in Italian. Without hesitation, she retrieved a thermometer, her brow furrowed in concern as she watched the digital display reveal a temperature of 102.1.
“I’ll go grab a nurse to page Shepherd and Bailey.” Maya rushes out. 
“Y/n, do you feel off at all?” Carina asks. 
“I’m just exhausted and cold. Leah, hold me.” Y/n pleads. Leah doesn’t hesitate to sit on the bed and pull y/n in her arms, feeling her visibly shake. 
As y/n's fever began to become known, she found herself sinking deeper into exhaustion, the weight of her illness pressing down on her like a leaden blanket. Despite Leah's comforting presence, a sense of unease gnawed at her insides, the fear of the unknown threatening to overwhelm her fragile resolve.
Leah sensed the shift in y/n's demeanor, her brows furrowing with concern as she watched the color drain from her cheeks. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked softly, her voice laced with worry.
Y/n forced a weak smile, but her eyes betrayed her inner turmoil. "I'm just tired," she murmured, her voice barely audible above the hum of activity in the room.
Leah's grip tightened on y/n's hand, her concern deepening with each passing moment. "You're not alone, you know," she said gently. "We're all here for you, whatever you need."
Y/n nodded faintly, but a flicker of panic danced in her eyes as a wave of exhaustion washed over her, threatening to drag her under. "I don't know if I can do this," she confessed, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "I'm so tired, Leah, and I'm scared."
Leah's heart clenched at the vulnerability in y/n's voice, her own fears momentarily forgotten as she focused on comforting her girlfriend. "You don't have to do it alone," she reassured her, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging within her. “One step at a time. You worry about kicking that fever off first.” 
But even as Leah spoke the words, she could see the doubt lingering in y/n's eyes, the fear of what lay ahead threatening to consume her from within. With a heavy heart, Leah leaned in closer, her forehead pressing against y/n's as she whispered words of comfort and reassurance.
Meanwhile, Maya and Carina exchanged worried glances, their hearts heavy with concern for their friend. Despite their best efforts, they could see the toll y/n's accident and now fever was taking on her, the exhaustion evident in every line of her face.
"We need to keep a close eye on her," Maya murmured, her voice tense with worry. "The fever seems to be exacerbating her anxiety, and if she's not careful..."
Carina nodded grimly, her thoughts mirroring Maya's. "We can't let her slip through the cracks," she agreed, her gaze never leaving y/n's pale face. “We will handle this together, my love. We won’t have her go back to that mindset. We have done it before.” 
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andreafmn · 9 months ago
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Collision | Chapter 22
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Word Count: 3.4K
Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same.
A/N:  can't believe how different my characters are in my twilight stories. this Paul is so much different than Speak Paul, and so is Jake, it kinda breaks my brain 😅
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A moment can feel like an eternity when the soul isn’t at ease. Time seems to reverse and turn over on itself, holding the body hostage to its grapples. It twists the mind, numbs all reason, and feeds doubt. Time can sometimes be scarier than death itself.
(Y/N) could have sworn the entire day had passed before the pack finally walked through the doors. But the light coming from the outside told her it was still early. They walked in as though nothing had happened, and they hadn’t just torn a vampire to shreds. The boys laughed and patted each other on the backs, celebrating as though their lives had not been in peril.
As soon as they came into view, the girl ran to her brother and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She wrapped them around his neck as his own caught her by the waist. Once she felt him with her own hands, she finally let out a strangled breath, allowing all the anxiousness to roll off her body.
“Oh, thank the spirits you’re okay,” she breathed shakingly. “I thought something happened to you.”
“You need to give me more credit here, bean,” he chuckled. “We take this job seriously.”
“I was scared.”
“Come on, he was outnumbered,” Sam shrugged. “There was no way we were going to let him go. He was easy meat.”
“So, none of you got hurt? You’re all okay?” 
“Of course we are,” Paul interjected. “That guy had nothing on us.” 
“I told you they would be okay,” Emily said, carrying a plate of fresh biscuits that the boys dug into as quickly as it reached them. “The boys always come home. Especially when they know that there’s food on the table.”
“I knew I could smell chicken,” Jared grinned. “I’m starving, man.”
“When are you not?” Embry teased as he walked past him.
“Oh, the young kid has some bark in him,” Jared chuckled. “You’re finally one of us.”
Laughing, Embry, Jacob, and Paul walked right past (Y/N) and to the dining table. Jacob was about to do the same but stopped next to her. “Bella’s okay,” she said. “She got home a while ago. She’s still a bit shaken up, mostly because of the giant wolves she saw.”
“Okay,” he said as he let out a breath of relief. “Thanks.”
“She’s tougher than she looks, Jake,” (Y/N) smiled. “She’s also smart, and she has a lot of questions.”
“I know,” Jake sighed. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
“Forcing the imprint bond hasn’t worked out?” the girl teased. “I thought it would.”
“Not funny, (Y/N),” he pouted. “But no. I guess everyone was right. It’s just… she deserves so much better.”
“Don’t we all, Jake? Don’t we all,” she said as she patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. “Now, go eat. You gotta refuel.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).”
“Bye, Jake.”
As the boy left her by herself, her gaze found her brother. He was sitting on a bench in the backyard, his shoulders slumped and a hand over his eyes. Sam was tired, that much she could tell. But it wasn’t because of the vampire. No. It was a fatigue she knew very well.
“Hey,” she said softly as she sat next to him. “How’re you doing?”
“I told you we’re all good, Bean,” Sam smiled weakly.
“That’s not what I mean, Sam. How are you?”
“I’m fine,” he breathed. “Just… tired. I was worried before that. We caught the leech’s scent first, and we were ready for a fight—finally finish up who’s been killing all those hikers. But then your scent was mixed up in it and I got so stressed that I wouldn’t get to you in time. I’ve been worried that a bloodsucker would take you away from me, but I never thought it could’ve happened this way.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Sam,” (Y/N) said as she wrapped her arms around her brother. “Not for a while, at least.”
“It was scary to realize how easy it would have been for that guy to kill you.” His voice trembled as he spoke, the protector mask quickly falling away. “With how things were going with the doctor, I was sure I would have to get used to not having you near again. But today reminded me about how you could have been gone for good. And what would’ve happened if you had no idea who we were? You would have no idea that we were trying to protect you, and you would have been just as terrified as Bella was. You would have been scared of me.”
“Well, I guess that’s one thing you can be grateful about him,” (Y/N) smiled, squeezing her brother’s hand comfortingly. “This is one secret you don’t have to hide from me.”
“It’s a shitty secret.”
“It’s a necessary one, Sam. You taught me that.”
“Yeah, it’s the reason two of the people I love most in the world got hurt,” he grumbled. “It’s a shitty secret.”
“What? You’re saying if it had been a choice, you would have said no?”
Sam sighed and let his head fall back as his eyes closed. “I don’t know, honestly,” he admitted. “It’s an honor to have been chosen to protect our people. But sometimes, I just wish the responsibility fell onto someone else. If it hadn’t been for this, so many lives would have been different. I know I’m meant to be the strong one, but I just can’t help but wonder why me sometimes.”
“Do you remember what you told me before I left for school?” (Y/N) said. “I wasn’t sure why I had been the one chosen for the scholarship and I was so scared that the school had made a mistake that I wanted to stay home. You told me that the only one who didn’t believe in me was myself —that I would always be my harshest critic and that I would never believe how amazing I was no matter how much people told me. Well, now it’s your turn, Sam. You’re doing an amazing job as an alpha. You’re keeping out people safe, you have a beautiful fiancée that loves you, and you’re the best brother a girl could ask for. If the universe chose this job for you, it was for a reason.”
“Yeah, an alpha that didn’t have a hold on things and managed to not only scar the woman I love, but I couldn’t even stop you from getting hurt,” he exclaimed. “And now all these hikers are dead, and even though we killed this leech, another one with a vendetta is gonna come here for the Swab girl. I just can’t seem to do things right. I have no business caring for all these people.”
“Sam, I can’t think of anyone else that would be perfect for the job. You’ve been taking care of me and mom for a long time. Even when you didn’t have to, you always made sure we were okay. You made me dinner when mom was at work after school, you were there at every science fair, you even taught me how to ride a freaking bike,” she chuckled. “I don’t think you realize how good of a person and a leader you are. How you always step up to the plate when anyone needs you, no matter how trivial the matter is. You’re an amazing brother and an amazing alpha. We are all gonna lose someone sometime, no matter how hard we try to save them. Our job is to save those we can.”
Sam allowed the words of his sister to skin into his head, slowly allowing his body to relax. He settled into the bench comfortably and draped an arm around (Y/N) to bring her in for a side hug. “Since when do I have a little sister that is so smart?” he teased lovingly. “Don’t remember the moment you got old enough to give me advice.”
“Sam, you’re barely older than me.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that I’m older.”
“No. You’re just old.”
The pair of siblings joined the rest of the pack soon after, gathering around the table to enjoy the feast that Emily had prepared. They ate, they laughed, they talked, and finally, they crashed all around the fireplace in the living room. Jared and Embry had taken the sofas, and Emily and Sam had excused themselves to their room while Jacob had said his goodbyes and gone back home. The only people that were left awake were Paul and (Y/N), tension surrounding the air around them.
(Y/N) knew that avoiding Paul couldn’t last much longer, especially not when she could have lost him that afternoon. She had waited for him to come home, breathless and terrified that the last moments she had spent with him had been avoiding him. The survival of their friendship rested on the conversation she did not want to have with him, but she knew it was essential if she ever wanted him to stay her best friend.
“So,” she said, finally breaking the silence. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, you finally have some time for me in your busy schedule?” Paul teased. “How lucky am I? Maybe I should face vampires more often.”
“Very funny, Paul.”
“Hey, I’m not the one that has been avoiding you for weeks now,” he shrugged as he threw his hands up in defeat. “What’s that about?”
The girl sighed as she restless her head against the wall, staring up at the wooden ceiling than into Paul’s eyes. She could feel his state burning a joke through her skull, seaman ding entrance into her innermost thoughts.  “Paul, you know what it’s about,” she responded. “You were getting too attached, and I didn’t know how to manage that.”
“Are you serious, (Y/N)? I was growing too attached?” Pail spoke in shouted whispers, wanting nothing more than to explode at that. But exhaustion clawed at his body, and the last thing he wanted was to let his wolf out. “And what have you that brilliant idea?”
“Paul, come on. The night Jacob finally turned, I could hear it in your voice,” she recalled. “You said there was something you just had to tell me, and I’m pretty certain I know what it is.”
“Oh yeah, Einstein? And what’s that?”
“That you want more,” she stated. “That you want us to be more.”
Surprise ran through Paula’s face before quickly transforming into an angry scowl. It had been what (Y/N) had wanted to avoid, but it was no use to continue pushing the inevitable. “Come on, (Y/N),” he exclaimed. “You can’t tell me it doesn’t make sense. We work well together, we have chemistry, and we have known each other for so long. Why won’t you just give it a chance?”
“Because I don’t see you that way, Paul, and I never will,” she responded. “You’re my best friend, yes, and we get along well because of it. It doesn’t mean that I want to be with you. I told you from the start that this was not gonna be anything other than just a physical thing—I was very clear on that.”
“So, what? You just use me for my fucking body but won’t even give yourself a chance to see if you might have feelings for me?” Paul spat. “Is it because of the bloodsucker? He broke you so much that you won’t give anyone else a chance?”
“This has nothing to do with him. I simply don’t have feelings for you, Paul.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” His voice rose as he jumped to his feet. “He’s not coming back, (Y/N)! He left you. He took his family, and he left you. Why won’t you get over him already?”
“Whether he was here or not, my feelings for you wouldn’t change. I see you as a friend, and I’ll always see you as a friend, Paul,” (Y/N) stated, trying her best to stay calm. She knew that playing into his game would only work to make him angrier, and the result could be catastrophic. “If you can’t handle that, then I think it’s best we just cool things off.”
“Oh my god, you are still in love with him,” he scoffed. “After all that bullshit that you went through for months. He told you he didn’t care about you. He said you were only a moment in his eternal life. He doesn’t love you, and he never fucking did.”
By that point, the pair had gotten an audience, the two teens that were asleep on the couches had woken up and Sam had come out of his room. But none of that seemed to deter Paul from continuing with his rant. He was seeing red and didn’t care if what he said hurt her. “You don’t care that he stomped on your heart and didn’t give it another thought. I bet you’d take him right back if he asked,” he spat. “I guess you both have something in common, though. You take what you want from people and, once you’re done with them, you throw them away.”
“That’s quite enough, Paul.”
“No, Sam, it’s okay,” (Y/N) interjected. “From the beginning, you knew what you were getting into, Paul. I didn’t want a relationship, and I sure as hell have never given you any indication that I wanted one with you. I’m sorry if you are hurt, but I was very clear about what I did and didn’t want. It’s not my fault you believed this could ever go anywhere.”
“You knew exactly what you were doing when you asked me to be your fuck buddy,” the boy seethed. “You knew you’d be leading me on, and you held it over me like a fucking toy.”
“Don’t you dare put this on me, Paul,” she said, her tone rising as frustration overtook her. “I was very clear. I was very honest. Not once did I ever say or even insinuate that I wanted to be with you. I’m sorry that I did use you for your body and the convenience, but it is not my fault that you deluded yourself into believing that we could be together.”
“You are honestly unbelievable, (Y/N). You used me, and now you wanna make it my fault,” Paul pushed. He closed the distance between them, towering over her like a dark cloud. He could see or hear reason; he couldn’t even admit that everything he was saying was a lie. All he could see was red. “No wonder you fell for a bloodsucker. You’re just as heartless and cold as them. I bet you wouldn’t even give betraying us a second thought if it meant you could save one of them. Maybe he left you before you could leave him. After all, it is in your genes.”
The words struck a chord in (Y/N). She gathered all the strength she had, recoiled her hand, and slapped Paul firmly across the face. But where everyone was expecting her hand to shatter at the contact, the hit went through and made the boy’s face snap to the side. The mere surprise had him stumbling a couple of steps back, holding his face as it grew pink from the strike.
After the initial shock, anger bubbled inside him, and he charged toward (Y/N). But he couldn’t even make it a step toward her before Jared and Embry were shielding her. The boys grabbed Paul’s arms and held him back as he fought, yelling at them to let him go.
“That’s enough!” Sam’s voice bounced off the walls, sending shivers even down (Y/N)’s back. “Get out of here, Paul, and cool off. That’s an order. Go with him, Jared.”
The second-in-command pulled Paul out of the house and far from view, leaving Sam and Embry with a tearful (Y/N).
“Hey, Embry, can you give us a second?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” he mumbled. “You okay, (Y/N)?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” she sniffled. “Thanks.”
 “I’ll, uh, be in the guest room until my shift starts.”
Once the boy had left, Sam wrapped his arms tightly around his sister, allowing her to crumble in his embrace. “He’s an ass, (Y/N),” he whispered. “And he had no right to say any of those things.”
“But he’s a little bit right,” she cried. “A few months ago, I was ready to leave everyone behind for a man that didn’t even spare me a thought. And then I used Pau to fill a void someone else left, knowing he had feelings for me. I’m just like dad.”
“Hey, absolutely not. You are nothing like him,” Sam affirmed. He cradled her face in his hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “You are by far one of the most amazing human beings I know. You’re intelligent, you’re caring, and so determined. I don’t think you know just how proud I am of you. Paul’s just butthurt that you don’t like him. He doesn’t deal well with rejection.”
“It doesn’t mean he’d no right.”
“What could he possibly be right about? He’s barely passing his classes.”
“I still love him,” she answered meekly, her voice so low and broken she wasn’t sure she had said anything at all. “I miss him every single day, no matter what I do to forget him. I keep waking up thinking he’ll be just a drive away, but then I get to the hospital, and his office is empty. It’s not a bad dream, Sam. It’s my reality.”
“Bean, I didn’t… why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?  I thought things were better.”
“Well, I thought the last thing you wanted to hear about was about my ex-boyfriend, who is literally centuries older than me and is your natural-born enemy,” (Y/N) chuckled through her tears. “And it’s not easy to say that I’m not over the guys that told me I was just a spec of sand in his lifetime.”
“Love is a strange thing, (Y/N). It’s hard to come by, and it takes forever to move on from. It hurts for a really long time, until one day you wake up and it doesn’t anymore,” he said, brushing back strands of her hair. “I don’t care who this guy is, Bean. If you need me, if you need to talk, you just have to tell me. I am here for anything you need. He may have been my enemy, but you are my sister, and that trumps everything.”
“Do you think they’ll ever come back?”
“Maybe not in our lifetime. The last time they left, they didn’t come back for almost seventy years. If they do come back, it’ll be long after we’re dead,” he shrugged. “Do you want them to?”
“Is it selfish if I say I do?”
“I mean, it does make me question how we’re related,” he teased. “But I don’t think you’re selfish for it. Just promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“If by some weird trick of the universe they do decide to come back, that you won’t go back to him, (Y/N). Or at least give him hell for it first.”
“I can promise you I will make him grovel until his knees give out,” she grinned softly. “But I do hope that, if they don’t come back, living without him gets easier soon enough. I hate carrying this black hole inside me.”
“It’ll get better one day, Bean,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her. “But while it isn’t, let me carry this burden with you. And just take things one at a time. Focus on school and work and forget about this whole thing with Paul. He’ll see reason soon enough.”
“I love you, Sam. Thank you fed everything that you’ve done.”
“I love you too, kid.”
“I’m only a year younger than you,” she laughed.
“A year is still a year,” he smiled as he chuckled. “Now, let’s get you home so you can rest and forget this all happened.”
Yet, it was a moment none of them would be able to rid from their minds. (Y/N) should not have been able to slap Paul without hurting herself, and she most definitely should not have hurt him. But, at that moment, no one was thinking about that. All they wanted was comfort and rest, and that’s all they did. Because in their town, there was always something new lurking around the corner.
Next ->
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cal-daisies-and-briars · 1 month ago
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🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮
(What’s the limit lol)
Okay so this is an ask for 270 sentences! I LOVE the enthusiasm. I will do 270 or 1k words. Whatever comes first haha.
---
“That doesn’t mean you have to,” Eddie says. “We could be sick.”
“All of us?”
Eddie nods. “Yeah, I think my throat tingles. Your sister is pregnant. Wouldn’t wanna risk it.”
Buck smiles. “I love you.”
Eddie winks. 
“But I don’t want to leave Maddie on her own either,” Buck says. 
Eddie nods. “I get that. And, hey, I’m there to back you up. A hundred percent, okay?”
Buck leans forward to kiss his head.
 “You’re the best. You know that right?”
Eddie smiles warmly. 
“Just for you.”
ii.
The energy is weird even before Buck’s parents arrive. Maybe it’s just nerves. But if that was the case, then wouldn’t it be Maddie and Buck acting most strangely? Except, it’s not. It’s Chim behaving the most erratically. And, sure. Buck can empathize with the fact that he’s about to meet the estranged parents of not only the woman he loves, but the woman he got pregnant rather unexpectedly. Buck has never been in that position, but he assumes it isn’t super easy. But, the weird part is, he’s mostly being iffy around Buck. 
Buck isn’t sure why. He hasn’t said anything to Chim. He hasn’t said anything at all, really. The four of them have shown up, with lots of homemade dishes Buck made in an anxiety spiral, and Eddie has mostly done the conversing for Buck. Usually, Buck is the chatty one between the two of them, but Eddie can sure turn it on when he needs to. Still, Buck gets the weird sense Chim is avoiding him. If he’s in the kitchen, Chim is in the living room. And vice versa. For a small apartment, they almost never cross paths. 
“Did I do something?” He asks Maddie at one point. “He’s being weird.”
“Did you… No,” Maddie shakes her head. “No, you haven’t done anything, Evan. He’s just nervous.”
Nervous. RIght. Fine. 
Not every bad mood or upset is about you or your fault, he can hear Dr. Copeland saying. And it’s always been good advice in the past. So he’ll try to take it now. 
It hardly matters. Before he can dwell too much more on it, his parents arrive. 
Maddie gets a warm, effervescent greeting from them both. Presents. Hugs. Giddy joy at the prospect of their impending grandparenthood. They’re happy to meet Chim. They’re happy to be in Los Angeles. Happy to be reunited with their daughter. 
Buck doesn’t get the same. 
“Evan,” his mother says. It’s like someone turned the thermostat way down on her voice. 
“Hey,” he replies uncomfortably.
It’s the first time they’ve seen him in eight years, beyond photographs. They can’t even crack a believable smile?
“You look… You look different, son,” his father says. 
Different. Buck looks down at his prosthetic left foot. Covered by a shoe and pant leg, the whole thing appears normal. That’s not what they’re talking about. The obvious difference. The missing limb. That isn’t the change they mean. He looks at himself a bit more generally, and then at Cranberry sitting in heel quietly. Anxiety twists in his stomach. A lot of things have changed, he guesses. 
The last time they saw him, he was barely more than a kid. Skinny and angry. Crashing his bike. It’s been so long. He’ll be thirty soon. He bulked up for the job. Spent a summer waiting for Abby obsessing about his physique when he had nothing else to do. Then he lost his damn leg, and… Well, he hasn’t stayed in the same shape. He’s not in bad shape. Not at all. But he’s softer, maybe? He no longer needs to be in the same working condition, and it’s not like he could hit the gym the same way during Covid, and he’s in a new relationship where he’s comfortable and secure and…
And he’s suddenly feeling very insecure about himself. 
“Uh, well…” Buck trails off. “It’s been a while.”
“It has,” his mother replies coolly. 
“Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Eddie,” Buck says, motioning towards where Eddie and Chris are standing. “And Eddie’s son, Christopher.”
Margaret and Phillip give each other a quick look before looking at Eddie and Chris. 
“Nice to meet you both,” Phillip replies.
Eddie steps forward to shake their hands, and after a brief, awkward little meeting, they move on to Albert. Fine. Good. Whatever. Would it have been nice if they showed a little enthusiasm or interest in his partner and sort-of stepchild? Like, yes. But Buck supposes they don’t know the extent of the relationship. 
Everything is fine - albeit awkward - until they sit down to eat. Meaning, everything is fine until Buck’s mother finds a way to target him. Some things never change. 
There aren’t enough seats for all eight of them at the kitchen table, so they eat around the living room. Buck pulls one of the kitchen chairs into the space for himself, and when he takes a seat, Cranberry tucks herself under him. 
“Oh, Evan,” his mother says. “Why don’t you put the dog away while we eat?”
Buck blinks. “Oh. Uh, she usually stays with me.”
“Well, it’s sort of unsanitary, don’t you think?” Margaret asks. “Having a dog around the food?”
“She’s not going to touch the food, Mom,” Buck assures her. “She’s trained.”
“Don’t worry about Cranberry, Mom,” Maddie says. “She’s really good.”
“Well, I don’t see why we can’t put the dog away for one meal,” Margaret presses. “I mean, should dogs be around pregnant people? Their noses and paws are everywhere and this is not a clean city.”
“Cranberry is a service dog,” Christopher says. His little voice is staunch. 
Everyone turns their heads to look at him. 
“She’s working,” he continues. “She needs to be near Buck.”
“Chris, it’s okay,” Buck says. 
“No,” Eddie shakes his head. “Chris is right. Cranberry is working.”
“A service dog,” Phillip says. “I thought those were for blind people.”
“Those are seeing eye dogs,” Chimney corrects.
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12boogaloo · 10 months ago
Text
Okay, I cant take it anymore. The brain rot is REAL
Been on a writing hiatus since 2019 or 2020 (I honestly don’t remember so don’t @ me)
And what gets me to finally start writing again?
You guessed it ladies, gents, and serpents!
Fucking TROLLS 3
Let’s get this bread or die trying y’all 😈
~•~
So first things first: I didn’t come up with the AU’s I’m using here! They were created by TheMiraculousMat and Keebsification on here and AO3
The AU’s in question are The Eldest and The Youngest and Out The Train Wreck
I just love it when people see John Dory and think “hmmm yes this grown man can fit so much eldest daughter energy in him” cuz SAME
So I thought: what if I just… put em together? OTT! JD and E&Y! JD have a grip on my soul and I’m filling a formal complaint in the form of fanfiction for not just 1, but 2 other pieces of fanfiction!!! Cuz why not
I’m gonna post the notes I’ve had about this idea for the past 2 week, at least the first part.
Well… it’s half notes, half chapter really…
Maybe. MAYBE. I’ll clean it up and post it on AO3. Maybe… probably lets be real
Anyway. Y’all can call me Boog and this is Project: Hyperfixation Won
Actual story name pending…
~•~
Part 1: Author’s Actual Notes because they are a nerd
Got an idea
Gonna scratch the itch
Half brain rot dump and half story here
Combination of the Eldest and Youngest JD and the Train Wreck JD
I also head canon that trolls have tails and claws and fangs
They’re lil creatures
Basically the same stuff happens in TW with the manager and John being Branch’s father.
Branch grows up knowing JD is his dad while everyone else thinks they’re brothers.
He and Luka are dating. He’s basically Branch’s other dad.
Luka gets taken and John thinks he died. He keeps his glove to remember him.
The fight still happens. John still leaves but promises Branch that he’ll come back.
He goes to the Neverglades for the next four years.
When he gets a letter about Rosiepuff and Branch he immediately heads back to the tree to take care of him.
Pretty much all of E&Y happens but with the change of Branch knowing JD is his dad.
Makes the trauma of him leaving worse in a way which adds to the angst of the first parts delicious, but it also makes their bond really solid later on.
John forgot that everyone in the village knew them as brothers until Poppy asks him if John is Branch’s daddy out of the blue. He panics and says “no” on instinct and they both decide to just go with it. Easier than explaining it to everyone.
She still doesn’t know. Nobody does.
John still loses his arm trying to save Creek(nasty ass).
One morbid silver lining John felt was that at least it wasn’t the hand he wore Luka’s glove on. Small miracles. Lol I’m sorry
Branch doesn’t remember Luka anymore, at least not really. He sorta remembers a burgundy haired troll that he thought was important but couldn’t remember anything else about them so he didn’t think too much about it.
John doesn’t really like talking about him and Branch hasn’t ever asked so he doesn’t bring it up.
He starts dating Hickory and he does tell him about Luka. He admits that while he definitely is falling for Hickory, a part of him will always belong to Luka and their relationship will always be really important to him.
Hickory is more than okay with that and even tells him that he would’ve loved to have met the man that made his sweetheart so happy and kept him safe before it was his turn. (John just about cried when he said that same buddy and agreed that they’d probably get along pretty well.)(He shows Hickory pictures of him and Luka one day and they laugh over the fact that John clearly has a type.)(And, based on Hickory’s own light blush, same.)(He immediately said Luka was ‘real cute’ and John still laughs at him for it.)
He also tells him about Bold and how Branch came to be. (Hickory spent solid hours comforting him afterwards and spent an equal amount of time thinking of ways he could get Dickory to help him torture the bastard if he ever saw him.)(He decides in that moment that he’d do anything to protect his boyfriend and his son. Anything.) (He’s also even more grateful to Luka when he hears about how he protected his love the day they met. He really wishes he could thank him…)
Branch makes jokes about not calling Hickory his stepdad till they get married, which makes John flush bright blue. (Hickory just laughs and winks, the traitor.)(Hickory secretly really wants Branch to call him ‘Pops’ and he’s so obvious about it.)(Branch finds it hilarious and doesn’t on purpose. He’d actually love to call him that, he’s just being an ass.)(You’d think he wouldn’t ever want to but no. For some reason, it’s only thinking of Hickory as ‘Papa’ specifically that makes him feel wrong. Like that’s not available to him. I wonder why.)
After saving Floyd, the boys all start spending more time together as a family. Floyd and Clay move into the bunker with John and Branch. Bruce still lives on Vacay Island but he tries to visit at least once a week, even bringing his wife and kids with him if he can.
They still love doing shows together and will do a big one every two weeks at least.
A few months later, they’re getting ready to hangout together after a performance in PopVillage. Hickory isn’t with them, he was actually watching with Tiny in the crowd, so he can’t see them.(Lil dude is really attached to his “Uncle Cowboy” and “Uncle Johnny” it’s adorable.)(And yes Guy is close by, Tiny is still very very grounded.)
Poppy wants to introduce them to a former stage manager that she’s worked with before that had come to see the show from TrollCity. Branch has met him once before and thought the guy was weird and a little creepy but nothing else made him feel suspicious so he kinda just ignored it. He figured if Poppy trusted him, it was fine. (Obviously he still kept an eye on the old bastard, cause your boy isn’t paranoid for nothing. And you never know.)
They all agree to meet and when they get backstage… it’s him.
Bold.
The bros old manager. The man who hurt their eldest unimaginably.
JD basically shuts down as his younger brothers immediately shield him from view.
They need to get out of here without causing a scene. Fast.
“Poppy, I think we need to go…” Floyd mumbles, his usually soft features twisting in both anger and slight fear as he stared the old troll down.
Poppy looks at them in confusion, “Wha- but you guys said you wanted to see everything we set up!!” She looks between the brothers and the older manager, Branch joining her as his eyebrows furrowed.
“Sorry, kids, I don’t think we can do that…” Bruce doesn’t take his eyes off of the old man as he steps back, closer to Clay and Floyd who were holding John Dory’s arms and hands to keep him steady in their safety bubble, their tails wrapped around his waist. “Not when he’s here.”
Poppy blinks in confusion. “What do you mean? Have you met Mr. Bold before?” She asks.
The old bastard chuckles. “Don’t worry, Miss Poppy.” Poppy huffs a bit at being called ‘miss’. (She’s Queen, dammit. Only Hickory calls her ‘miss’ and it’s always as a joke.) “I was the boys’ manager back in the day! It’s just been a while since we’ve seen each other.” He looks over each brother, clearly trying to get a look at John Dory and noticeably souring when he’s blocked. Then he smirks, taking a few steps closer, his wooden cane thunking against the floor. John flinches with each tap, tap, tap. “You’ve all grown up so much.”
Bruce holds his ground, crossing his arms and rolling his shoulders, his bigger body blocking most of JD from view. Clay was growling behind him, both him and Floyd curling closer to John and their ears pressed back in irritation. Bruce gives a humorless chuckle. “Heh. Yeah, we’ve grown up, Bold. We grew up and you’re fucking old now.”
Poppy gasps. “B-Bruce, that’s not nice!” She turns to Bold and smiles nervously. “I’m so sorry-“
The man waves her off. “Don’t fret. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s right after all.” He looks at them again all smugly, leaning on his cane. “Like I said, it’s been a long time.”
Floyd scoffs. “Not long enough.” He growls, baring his teeth. His claws start coming out and he’s thankful he’s holding John’s prosthetic arm as he feels them scratch the metal.
“Woah, okay, what the hell is up with you guys?” Branch finally steps in. That was so unlike Floyd to say something like that. He’s never seen the older troll that angry before, he’s never seen any of his uncles that angry before.
Bruce huffs. “What’s up is that we’re leaving. Now.” He goes to turn around to start steering his brothers out of the room when he hears Bold chuckle, making them all freeze.
“You all really have changed so much,” He says, his tail swaying side-to-side behind him. John looks up and they manage to lock eyes, Bold smiling sickly as John stares in horror. “Especially you, Johnny Baby.”
John feels sick. He feels like he’s gonna pass out. He feels his legs start giving out as Clay and Floyd rush to hold him up. He feels his body going completely limp and his vision blurs and his chest hurts and he can’t breATHE-
Bruce tackles the old troll, immediately landing brutal hits to the bastards face. He screams between punches, “DON’T TALK TO MY BROTHER!” Bold tries to hit him back, only managing to smack Bruce in the side once with his cane before continuing to get pummeled.
Branch and Poppy jump in frantically to pull him off of the man and the three of them stumble back. Bruce shoves them off and glares at Bold again. He was lying on the ground, groaning and clutching his nose, there were scratches and bruises on his face and he was covered in his own glittery copper blood. “Stay. The FUCK. Away. From John.” Bruce pants and shakes out his hands, flexing his exposed claws. He spits on the ground. “Bastard.” He turns back to his brothers. “Cmon, let’s get out of here.” He lifts JD up bridal style and Clay and Floyd follow him as he starts rushing to the door.
“Wait, hold on!” Branch runs after them, leaving Poppy standing in confused horror at what just happened.
~•~
That’s what I’ll give for now lol
I have like wayyy more written out but I’m mean so 😈
Anyway
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
Lmk what y’all think ig
Check out the folks that created these AU’s plz @matmiraculous and Keebsification (idk their tumblr so plz don’t yell at me) both on AO3 where I found them
Later yall
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tgmsunmontue · 3 months ago
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Season to Taste - 6/? WIP
Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another. Heading into this little world.
PROLOGUE/ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE
(FYI Chapter 5 was only post two days ago so maybe check you've read it if it's been a few days...)
CHAPTER SIX
                “Shh. Shh. Shh. You’re sick.”
                Bradley can barely open his eyes, his entire body aching, feeling weighed down, taking all his effort to turn his head toward the voice. Silvia is sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing his hair back from where it’s sticking to his forehead, her hand feeling nice and cool and he thinks he might have a fever.
                “Here. Drink this…”
                A straw is put to his lips and he takes a sip, the sudden sharp sourness of lemon hitting his tongue and he pulls a face and then takes another sip, suddenly reminded of just how thirsty he is. Silvia draws the straw away and replaces it with some plain water and he gratefully sucks down several mouthfuls.
    ��           He’s bullied into the shower, and when he comes out he finds Silvia remaking his bed, tutting and mumbling under her breath and it’s too quiet to catch but he suspects she has opinions on his bachelor lifestyle. Then he’s back in bed, falling back to sleep almost immediately. Later when he wakes it’s to the smell of something savory cooking and then Silvia is at his bedside again, this time spooning broth into him and he feels dreadful making her come and look after him. He’s a fully grown adult. He doesn’t need this treatment.
                “You didn’t have to do this…”
                “And let you die?”
                “I wouldn’t have died.”
                “You’ll get better faster with care,” Silvia says, patting his face. “Plus you’re family, and we look after each other okay?”
                “Okay.”
…            …            …
                Bradley had, despite everything, gone and gotten Jake sauce. He doesn’t want to come on too intense or too fast, but god does he want to. He hasn’t felt this comfortable with someone so quickly in… years, he realizes after thinking about it. He’s not going to look at the fact that Jake is a naval aviator too closely, because that’s not something he wants to confront right now. He’s had a couple of boyfriends in the past, is still friends with them, but there are little mannerisms that Jake has which remind him of both Ice and Mav. Remind him of home in a way he had forgotten about.
                Right.
                Not thinking about it.
                That’s going great.
                He distracts himself by turning his attention to Jake’s body, it’s a nice distraction and Jake preens under the attention. An idea is formulating as he places little butterfly kisses over the curve of Jake’s shoulder. He’d have to make calls, but he doesn’t have to go back to New York with the others. But he wants to make sure he’d be welcome if he stayed around.
                “So, you said you’ve got about three weeks left of leave. You got any plans?”
                Jake turns and he can’t parse the look at all, isn’t used to all the different ways Jake looks at him. This is a new one, which isn’t surprising, he barely knows him, but rather than make him nervous he simply wants to learn them all.
                “Only plans I have are helping my sisters on the farm and soaking up the sun. Unless I get a better offer.”
                Bradley licks his lips, shuffles in closer.
                “I don’t have a spare three weeks. But I do have two weeks.”
                “Two weeks huh? You need a big vacation after all the work you’ve just done?”
                “Yeah. Something like that. Wanna help keep me busy?”
                “Well, I think someone needs to keep you out of trouble.”
                “Yeah? You think you’re up for the job?” Bradley asks with a grin as Jake sucks at his neck and hums before pulling back.
                “I mean, it’s messy work. But someone’s got to do it.”
                “Well, better get to work then…”
…            …            …
                Jake does leave, eventually, just before lunch. Tells him he needs a change of clothes at the bare minimum. When Bradley makes a comment about his plans not requiring Jake to be wearing clothes he gets tugged in for a filthy kiss and slap to the ass and told he’s going to be taken out for some dancing. Bradley finds he’s looking forward to it, that he’s just, on a fucking whim, changed his plans. God. What is he thinking. This isn’t like him. Except it sort of is. Going to the airport and just getting on the first flight had taken him to Italy and then the Gallo family. He trusts his gut in the kitchen, and in front of the camera and everything right now is screaming to take a chance with Jake. Against all common sense and rationale thought he wants to.
                “He’s coming back?”
                “Yeah… I need to make a couple of calls.”
                “Wait… I’m confused. Why is he coming back when we’re meant to be leaving tomorrow? Oh my god. You’re not coming home?”
                “Not this week,” Bradley says, and he flinches in anticipation for the arm slap Vi lands on him. “Vi…”
                “So much for catching up on Orange is the New Black.”
                “I can do that here.”
                “We’re meant to watch it together remember?”
                “You could stay too…” Bradley suggests with a grin, knowing that’s going to go over like a lead balloon and sure enough she gives him the finger and swears under her breath in Italian and Bradley grins.
                “I’m sorry, but I’ll be back home in a couple of weeks…”
                “It’s fine. I’ll make the most of the empty apartment and wander around naked and drink directly from the carton.”
                “You know neither of those things bother me right?”
                “Because you are a disgusting human being.”
                “High praise. I’m a human this time huh?”
                “Maiale. Anyway, I’m meant to make the phone calls. It’s what you pay me for.”
                “It’s also how you keep tabs on me.”
                “And I’m about to set you up for two weeks of debauchery with your Cinderfella, so you can be grateful for those tabs. Let’s talk logistics.”
…            …            …
                Jake bangs the door open and steps inside, knows at least one of his sisters will be inside.
                “Honey I’m home!” he calls out, kicking his boots off and he knows he’s grinning and also that he’s no doubt going to get so much shit but he cannot bring himself to care. Leo wants to spend time with him. More time. That they somehow both have free together and he isn’t religious at all but it definitely feels like some higher body is letting things go his way.
                “The prodigal son returns…”
                “He does indeed,” Jake says, taking a bow and grinning at Maria, his third-eldest sister.
                “Oh, you are in far too good a mood. Was it that good?”
                Jake quirks an eyebrow, because he might overshare with Nicola and Amanda, but Maria has never seemed interested before.
                “Yes. It was. And I’m going back for more.”
                “He’s local?”
                “Uh. No. But he’s staying in town for a couple of weeks. Taking his vacation time in our little home town…”
                “Convenient. What’s his name?”
                “Leo. Actually, funny story. I actually met him years ago, when I was first deployed. Had some shore leave and took a risk going to a club…”
                “He’s Italian?”
                “No. American. But he was there. He’s actually the first guy I ever kissed.”
                “Bullshit.”
                “No. Seriously. Weird coincidence, right?”
                “That’s some romance novel bullshit right there. Ugh. Why does my brother get the romance novel?”
                “Uh…” Jake starts, because it’s a little too early to be discussing grand romances.
                “Oh relax. I’m not expecting you to bring him home with a ring on his finger. You’re just planning on screwing each other’s brains out for a couple of weeks. Right. And that’s still better than my love life. You know this is going in the group chat right?”
                “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Jake says dryly, having long given in to being the main topic of conversation in his sister’s group chat. No doubt Nicola will be calling as soon as she sees the message, and she’s the only one he told about Leo specifically, she kept so many of his secrets before he was ready to share them with the world. He loves all his sisters, but Nicola has a special place in his heart having come out as a lesbian years before Jake had even realized that he might not be exactly straight, giving him someone he always felt was going to be in his corner.
SEVEN
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luckydicekirby · 2 months ago
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would love any director's commentary you may have on The Only True Thing if slightly older fics are on the table here bc lowkey it changed my brain chemistry forever. I read it on a whim like four years ago at 1 in the morning and ever since then I've been hooked on making all my fav pairings miserable for no reason. this sounds like sarcasm but I'm being completely sincere the schadenfreude is exquisite
okay first of all I’m SO glad to hear this because making your favs miserable is I think one of the most rewarding activities on this earth so I’m really glad I could help share that joy. thanks also to sylvain for just making it so easy. anyway, here’s some assorted thoughts, hopefully some of which are edifying!
(the only true thing for reference for anyone playing along at home.)
this fic affectionately named the darkling au due to this tweet which I feel like I should put in a hall of fame someday. anyway this entire thread showcases the origin of this fic which was me catie and lily bullying each other on twitter about sylvix, a pastime left behind in 2019 which i really miss.
the thing that really first made me Crazy Cuckoo about sylvain is his B support with Byleth--I'm obsessed with that moment where he very coldly threatens to kill you and then laughs it off, and that was pretty much the jumping off point for Sylvain's characterization in this au--what if he was like that all the time? answer: it would be bad, but also pretty sexy!
One thing I miss about writing for fe3h is the hero’s relics were sooo nice as like. shortcut symbolism. the lance of ruin comes preloaded for you! It’s familial cycles of violence! Easy! and there's a mechanic for it breaking ALSO preloaded into the game mechanics! I wrote like three versions of the ending and the lance getting busted moved around a bit--it originally happened a little earlier.
For a while when I was still femblempilled I was idly thinking about two sequels to this—a sylvain pov sequel about the war, which would have been fun but also Yikes, and then epistolary dorothea/ingrid ideological divorce fic. sorry to dorothea and ingrid who really get the short end of the stick in this universe.
oh there's a playlist. I can’t claim to have put a ton of thought into it it’s just all my fav bad ya boyfriend songs <3 actually dead girl walking reprise is like. yeah that's the fic.
ANYWAY. I feel like a lot of my commentary on this has been washed away by the sea (the passage of time) so a few extras. I apparently wrote like 400 words of sylvain POV of the training yard scene also? Last edited September 26th 2019, here you go:
Felix has always been smaller him, ever since they were kids. Still is these days, to Sylvain’s delight. He wondered about it plenty, these past two years--maybe Felix had a growth spurt. Maybe he caught up to Dimitri. Maybe Sylvain would meet him at the monastery and they’d see eye to eye. Of course they don’t. Felix is a head shorter than him, and he’ll never see things the way Sylvain does. Still. Sylvain thought about it. He’s had a lot of time to think about Felix since the last time he saw him, since Felix ran away. Still a crybaby at heart, no matter how sure he was he’d grown out of it. Not much has changed, Sylvain figures. Felix might have everyone else fooled with that delightfully sharp-edged exterior of his--a pretty decent feint, Sylvian should know--but Felix can’t hide from him. Sylvain sees him down to the bone. The two of them are a matched set: liars at heart.  Like right now. Felix is trying so hard not to cry, his back to the wall of the training yard, his grip tight around the wood of his training sword like he’s actually going to use it. Sylvain hopes he will. He hasn’t gotten to see Felix fight yet, really fight. He bets he’s gotten better. He bets he’s elegant and controlled—maybe less so with Sylvain, and wouldn’t that be nice? That’s how it goes sometimes, when Sylvain dreams about their last day together. Felix’s sword at his throat, biting and cold, ending all this before it began. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Sylvain wouldn’t have had to spend such an awfully long time missing him.  He bets Felix could make him hurt. Nothing seems to do that anymore, except for thoughts of Felix, the ones he can never stop worrying at like a bruise.  Sylvain doesn’t want much these days, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: he wants Felix in a way that aches, delirious and unstoppable. It doesn’t matter so much how. Felix is welcome to cut him open or kiss him quiet or anything in between. As long as he never stops looking at Sylvain like he is now, hateful and just on the edge of tears, so clearly focused on nothing else. As long as Sylvain can have that, the rest doesn’t matter.  That’s love, Sylvain figures; the cheerful facade he gives the girls is nothing. He forgets about a new one every week. But Felix? He’ll be dead someday, and Felix will still have a grip on his heart, as tight as he’s holding his sword and just as dangerous.
and what exists of the sylvain POV sequel I never wrote:
Felix looks like shit. Of course he’s also beautiful. He’s radiant, for all that his hair’s a mess and his face is drawn and he’s got the kind of dark circles that only come from weeks and weeks of exhaustion. He’s Felix, right? He can’t be anything else. “You look like shit,” Sylvain tells him, because honesty is what Felix thinks he wants from him. He hasn’t seen Felix in six moons, but that probably hasn’t changed. “What are you doing here?” Felix asks. His horse stamps her feet and shakes her head, moving uneasily under him. Felix has never been a good rider. It’s clear he doesn’t appreciate his mare, and she doesn’t appreciate him. Sylvain wonders how long Felix has been making his way across Faerghus like this. He wonders if he stole the horse. It’s awful not to know. “Looking for you,” Sylvain says. “They say you’re searching for the king.” Felix never could stop himself from chasing ghosts. Sylvain hates that about him. It’s just as unfair as everything else: it’s the only reason Sylvain is still here, after all.  “I am. And you should be defending Gautier territory.” “Got a message from your father,” Sylvain lies. He slides off his horse, patting her flank. Felix, clumsily, does the same. “He wants you to come home.” That part’s probably true.  Felix scoffs. “My old man can send all the messages he wants. I’m going to find the boar.” He means it. Sylvain can see that he means it, in the flinty look in his eyes, the fold of his arms, the jut of his chin as he looks up at Sylvain. It’s the saddest thing Sylvain’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of shit. “Felix,” he says. He reaches out. He can never help it, not when Felix is like this, not when he believes. Felix doesn’t flinch from Sylvain’s hand on his cheek anymore. “Sweetheart. You know he’s dead.” “Don’t call me that,” Felix says. But when he swings himself back in the saddle and Sylvain does the same, he doesn’t tell Sylvain not to follow. That’s more than good enough. 
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sunlightmurdock · 2 years ago
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Trouble in Paradise | Epilogue | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
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Synopsis: After the most painful break-up of his life, Rooster is stationed in Hawaii for the next six months. Alone, away from home and hurting, he finds comfort in the arms of a stranger.
Warnings: no use of y/n, age gap (rooster is in his mid-30s, reader is in her early 20s), mentions of sex and betrayal, adultery — this takes place 5 years after 1.8
“Honey, are you okay? - You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
He has. He’s staring right at one. Suspended in time, he barely hears her speaking to him, his hearing and his vision are tunneled. It’s just you. Centre of the universe, like you always have been to him.
Rooster swallows, his adam’s apple rising and falling in his throat. That ache is back, the hole in his chest that he hasn’t felt in a couple of years, torn open right here and now in front of everyone.
You’re looking right at him. Across the room, sitting at a different table, listening to the same speech.
He has to blink a couple of times. This has happened before. It happened a lot after he left. Seeing your face everywhere he turned, it never being you. But this time it is.
He has had this dream before. Being here, staring at you from across the room. The ache in his chest feels the exact same way it does in those dreams. He blinks and it’s still you. He half wants to pinch himself.
You look different now, shorter hair, he’s never seen you dressed up like this - but Rooster could recognise you anywhere. He looks the same.
“Please join me in raising a toast in memory of tonight’s guest of honour, Admiral Tom Kazansky.”
You turn your head away from him, fighting back the sick feeling in your stomach as you lift your glass. Rooster’s still staring. He watches you raise your glass, then he catches sight of the man at your side.
He’s greying, his hairline isn’t what it once was - Rooster has met that guy before. They worked together for a couple of weeks about a year ago. It takes Rooster a split second to see past his anger that you’re with someone else, to realise that you aren’t here with an older man.
That’s your father. Of course it is, Rooster remembers sitting in the hospital with you, hearing that he was Navy. Rooster thinks back to last summer, working with that man for four weeks in Lemoore, having no idea. You’re nothing like that guy.
He thinks back to that summer. Five years ago. The winter that followed. The ache in his chest since he moved back.
“Honey.” An elbow presses softly into his side.
Rooster turns, disoriented, frowning at the face before him. Sara lifts her glass and hands him his. She smiles, tapping the rim of her glass against his with a soft clink. God, he loves that smile.
He loves her. He watches her take a sip of her sparkling water while his glass of champagne remains stationary in his hand. He drapes his arm across the back of her chair and runs his fingers through the loosely curled ends of her hair.
Sara Bradshaw smiles as her husband leans into her side and kisses the top of her head, before taking a sip of his own drink. She sets her drink back onto the table and rests her hand on top of her rounded stomach. Rooster glances down at her hand.
The engagement ring he put on it, the wedding ring he gave her after that. The pregnant stomach that her hand sits on.
You shoot one more look over there, and your heart sinks. His arm around her shoulder, leaning into her side. She’s pregnant. They look happy. Well, she does. He did, before he spotted you.
You turn your head back towards the stage, taking a long sip from your glass. Five years — you’re ridiculous for thinking that some trace of you, six months from half a decade ago, would be enough for him to have waited. It’s not like you did. There’s a ring on your finger too.
When your father had asked you to come here tonight, there had been a part of you that had hoped Rooster would be here. The other part of you knew that he would be.
He had mentioned Iceman to you once or twice, the Admiral that looked out for him occasionally, invited him up for thanksgiving every year even if it was more of a nice gesture than an actual invitation.
It’s a charity event in honour of Tom Kazansky, you would be lying if you said that you didn’t know Bradley would be here.
You just didn’t expect to see him looking so happy, so moved on. Married and expecting. Like he wanted. You lower your gaze, staring at your hands in your lap, feeling stupid for thinking he would still be stuck on you.
Rooster turns his head once more and looks over.
You aren’t looking at him anymore. Instead, you’re toying with the stem of your champagne glass, staring at the table cloth. There’s a look on your face that Rooster has seen before. He has hurt you before, he’s hurting you now. His instinct is to get up out of his chair in front of all of these people and cross the room. Instead, he stays exactly where he is. With his wife.
“You look so handsome tonight.” Sara whispers, smiling softly as she curls her fingers around his. He turns his head to look at her, his face softening just slightly. He lifts her hand and presses his lips to her knuckles.
“I love you.” He whispers back.
She takes his hand in hers and rests it over her pregnant stomach, smiling as he leans closer into her side. You turn your gaze towards the ceiling and just breathe. You left him. You’re the one who ended it. You’ve been happy without him - he’s happy without you.
It’s wrong to be upset.
And yet, you’re just about ready to drop your head into your hands and bawl your eyes out. He’s yours, it isn’t fair.
There are two speeches right off the bat, and then a brief break for people to mingle. Rooster watches. You’re the first one at your table to stand up, you turn and head right for the door.
“I’m going to head to the bathroom, little guy thinks my bladder is a trampoline.” Sara breathes, giving her husband a soft smile. He turns his attention back towards her and blinks.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you in a second, honey - I’m gonna get some air.”
He shouldn’t.
But he does. It’s been five years - he can’t wait another second. His feet carry him in the direction you had left in before his heart’s even on board with the idea, let alone his head.
It took him so long.
That first year without you had been hell. It only seemed fair. Six months making a fool of the woman he was supposed to spend forever with, a year of mourning her.
It was hard seeing Amy again. At first, he had struggled to look her in the eye. Amy had hoped that when she saw Rooster that he would be heartbroken, alone, tormented. He had been. It just hadn’t healed her like she thought it would. Because it wasn’t her taking up that space in his heart.
Rooster moved around a lot in that first year. The first thing he had done when he had gotten back was to end his lease, move out of the apartment he had shared with Amy and into a different place. That had just made it worse.
It was indescribable, the ache in his chest, the hole in his heart — the wound that he kept fresh in case you ever needed a place with him again. His friends hadn’t understood it. Mav hadn’t understood it. He felt like no one was ever going to.
There was one time, he had been drunk and wallowing in his pain. He had text you at three in the morning. Written six texts, maybe a couple thousand words, deleted them all and wrote them out again and again. Eventually settled on ‘I miss you’. He hadn’t ever received a response. That was over four years ago.
Maybe he should have sent the thousands of words, poured his heart out into the little blue bubble. It’s too late for that now.
He met Sara after a year away from you. A pretty girl that worked in an office near his apartment. The girl that smiled at him as she was waiting by the bus stop and he was jogging back to his apartment every evening.
The girl he married. Mother of his daughter, soon to be the mother of his son. The girl that hadn’t ever taken the time to ask exactly who it is that Bradley absentmindedly reached across his bed for in the mornings.
He steps outside and takes a big gulp of air. They’re close enough to the ocean that if he closes his eyes, he’s back there, sitting under the stars. With you in his arms.
He breathes as best as he can. He’s been to his fair share of Lamaze classes by now. In through his nose, out through his mouth — it’s bullshit, none of the people teaching those classes has ever felt what he feels. No one has ever loved and lost someone like you.
Bradley thinks back to the happiest days of his life. His wedding day. Layla’s birth, her saying ‘dada’ for the first times, her first steps. The day up on the cliffs, you sitting in his lap, curled into his side, telling him you loved him.
It’s back again, the detachment in his limbs. The numbness he felt whilst grieving you. Like he’s on autopilot, he lifts his hand and brushes it over his face. He leans his head back and turns his chin towards the stars, exhaling heavily.
It took so long for him to get here. Searching for pieces, covering up the hole you left — thinking he was healing it. The cover’s torn apart and the wound is exposed, he feels like all of those feelings are right here, pouring out all over the concrete under his feet.
Learning to love Sara, to lean into her touch like he had with yours. To stop thinking about how it was when he’s holding her.
He feels the feeling in his throat and swallows the whimper, breathing through his nose once again. He opens his eyes and finds the Orion’s Belt. They’re too close to a city here. Doesn’t look like it did sitting on the hood of your bronco that first summer, when he was just getting to know you.
Nothing’s the same as it was back then.
“Hey, sailor.”
There’s a sadness to the words as they come from behind them. Behind his eyelids, you’re there, standing on the other side of that bar, in that ridiculously short skirt, prepared to change his life forever.
In reality, you’re standing behind him, no longer that girl.
On autopilot once more, because there’s no way he could consciously bring himself to look at you ever again, he turns to face you. His heart leaps up into his throat. He didn’t get it wrong, it wasn’t his imagination. The hole in his heart stands before him, calm.
Baby. The word almost slips his lips, an immediate reaction, like a breath he has been holding in all this time. He wants to hold you, to reach out and wrap his arms around you. He stops himself just in time. Only then, he’s left with nothing in his head to say.
He stands before you, lips parted, brows raised. So much to say and no way of possibly saying it all the way that he wants to.
“Hi.” Rooster breathes out. He almost says that he thought it was you, but there’s no point. There was never any doubt in his mind, he would know your face anywhere.
Even when you look so different now, so matured. No tell-tale short skirt and knock-off sunglasses. Tamed, sea-salt free hair, a long dress and elegant heeled shoes.
He still looks the same, if you forgive the smile lines around his eyes and the stray grey hairs that are peppered around his temples.
“You’re married.” Saying it outloud stings like a fresh cut, for you and for him. Your words draw across his skin and leave him wounded, not an ounce of dishonesty in your comment, but a painful realisation nonetheless.
He looks down at the wedding ring on his finger and nods slowly. Bradley considers what comes next — it feels wrong to fill you in on what his life has become, when it still feels like it should have been with you.
“Yeah,” He confirms gently, lifting his gaze. There’s a sadness in his eyes, almost an apologetic look. Regret, perhaps — you aren’t sure.
It’s too quiet out here, like the world around you has stopped just so that you can hear how quiet he’s being. How ashamed of himself he is. You should probably be happy about that.
You aren’t.
“She’s pretty.” You try.
His eyes on yours, his features soft. Rooster shakes his head softly, not daring to take a single step towards you, feeling like he hasn’t quite earned that yet.
“I’m so sorry.” I wish it was different. I wish I had been different. I miss you, baby.
Your head tilts just a fraction. His heart sinks. The corners of your mouth twitch, pulling up into a soft smile. Reassurance, ‘it’s okay’ without actually saying that. It’s not okay, it hasn’t been for the past five years, and now that you’re standing here in front of him, he’s beginning to realize that it never will be.
“You’re going to be a dad,” You tell him, like he doesn’t already know, like he didn’t spend all of last weekend building furniture for his son’s room. It feels wrong to hear you say it. It feels wrong to have you hear, in front of him, in this life. He stares back at you. “Is this your first?”
He shakes his head slowly. It takes him a while to find the words to give you a real answer, his eyes never once leaving yours — like if he looks away then you’ll be gone for good.
“I have a daughter.” He answers quietly, unsure where to start. “She’s about to turn three. Her name’s Layla.”
About to turn three. You take a small, stumbling step back and then stop. You shouldn’t be upset by this — you’re the one who let him go. You should feel happy that he has moved on, you’re mature enough to know that by now.
You tip your chin just slightly, leaning your head back to look at the sky and breathe softly. Now that you’re not looking at him, he takes a moment to look at you. Really look.
Olive coloured satin, draped against your skin, shoulders exposed other than thin straps. A gold necklace that sits slightly askew between your collarbones. He reaches out for you first. His fingers graze over the skin of your open palm, featherlight and chilled from the sea air.
There’s no knowing what to do in a situation like this. The only certainty left in your head is that you shouldn’t have come tonight, but even that falters. Maybe you should have never let him go.
This is the scary part. His fingertips grazing your skin, those sad brown eyes looking right at you, and you’re putty in his hands. You want to tell him that it’s okay, that you’ve been okay, but that wouldn’t be the complete truth.
He has no idea how to proceed. There’s no way he could possibly explain to you how grateful he is for his wife, and their incredible daughter who reminds him more of himself everyday. It doesn’t even make sense to himself, how he can be so grateful for all of that, and still miss you so much.
His fingers slide across the lines in your palm as you count the stars over your head until it makes you dizzy. His hand in yours, the sky overhead, the sea over your shoulder — familiarity isn’t as nice of a feeling as you had thought it would be.
He touches metal. Quickly, Bradley’s gaze falls down. He takes your hand in his and lifts it slightly. You look ahead of you, right at him, watching his adam’s apple rise and fall in his throat.
“You’re engaged.” He realizes.
Hm. You had almost forgotten about that. He looks back up and meets your gaze — there he is. You catch a glimpse of him for a split second, the same protective Bradley who had dragged you out of a bar and thrown you over his shoulder. His features soften and he’s gone as quickly as he had appeared.
But, he’s still in there. The man that had loved you so fiercely.
“Yeah,” You nod your head slowly. It’s recent, and it’s not that big of a deal, but Caleb insists that you wear the ring. “He’s… nice.”
But he’s not you. Understanding in his eyes. Another glimpse and then it’s gone. It’s an odd feeling, because you do love Caleb — you wouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t, but he’ll never be Bradley.
Caleb is a chef, and he’s kind to you. It took him eighty days and fifteen dates to win you over, but he did it all without a single complaint. He holds you through thunderstorms and rubs your back without you having to ask — he promised to love you for the rest of his life and meant it.
You’ve been together for almost two years.
Bradley’s thumb trails over the ring. It’s a pear-cut opal on a gold band — those aren’t strong enough for everyday wear. It’s not going to last. The rock will be fucked in a couple of years, at most. He wonders if this guy that you’re marrying even knows that.
“Congratulations,” Bradley says softly. He looks up and offers you a small smile. “I’m happy for you.”
That’s not true. His hand remains in yours. He brushes his thumb across your knuckles. In all the days he has spent thinking of you, he hadn’t thought of this — marriage. With someone else. He swallows.
The last time he saw you, the pain in your eyes when you told him that you would never trust him enough to want to marry him. That you’d never be able to give him the future he needed. You’re giving it to someone else.
“Are you?”
Rooster’s polite little smile falters just slightly. He opens his mouth to answer, but you both already know what it is. Call it selfish, but he knows that he could never be happy for you, not unless you were his. His fingers weave between yours, he takes a small step closer to you.
“Honey, they’re about to start—“ Your father’s voice trails, his steps slow until he’s stalled all together. He adjusts the jacket of his uniform. His eyes flicker between you and the man standing in front of you. His hand in yours. The wedding ring on his finger. You pull back calmly and offer Rooster a tight-lipped smile.
“It was good seeing you again. I’ll catch you later.”
Your father’s brows furrow slightly as you step away from this married man and towards him. Rooster’s lips part, he knows how this looks. Nonetheless, he lets you lead the way back inside.
Rooster takes a couple of extra seconds to himself, looking up at the sky. He loves his wife, he loves his family — this is what he wanted. He looks like he belongs with Sara, they’re the same age and they have plenty in common. This is why he gave up a future with you. It’s selfish to want both and he knows that. But god, he has missed being that close to you.
Joe turns his head, watching as the man he had seen outside walks slowly back into the room and slips into his seat next to a pretty-looking woman with brown hair and a rounded, pregnant belly. His head whips around to look at you, seething.
“What did you do?” He accuses, his voice no more than an angry whisper.
You swallow softly and sink down in your seat. It’s still strange being around your father, much less being parented by him. Maybe this would have been more effective when you were a teenager, now that you’re an adult, there isn’t much he can do or say about things you’ve already done.
After his heart attack last winter, Joe has really dedicated himself to getting to know you. He’s been trying, you can’t deny him that. But it’s too little too late for him to start lecturing you.
“I knew him before he got married.” You answer calmly, grabbing your champagne flute and taking a long sip.
Joe scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief, “So, do you make a habit of holding hands with married men?”
“I haven’t seen him in years, he’s just someone that I used to know.” You defend yourself, drinking again and setting your now empty glass back down on the table. You breathe out hard and glance over there, catching his gaze. Sad brown eyes across the room. All he’ll ever be.
The lights go down as you lock eyes with him. Caught, he quickly turns his attention back to the stage.
“He’s too old for you.” Joe mutters bitterly. You scoff.
Heart thudding in your chest, trying to focus in on the voice on the stage. This is going to be a long night. You reach across the table and grab Joe’s glass, bringing it to your lips and knocking it back. He shouldn’t be drinking on his heart meds anyway.
“Oh, holy shit.” Jake splutters over his beer, eyes going round as dinner plates. Chloe spins, craning her neck to get a look at whatever has her husband so spooked. He catches hold of her shoulders and positions her, pointing past her shoulder. “That’s the girl from Hawaii.”
“No!” Chloe gasps, mouth hanging open. Jake nods, wincing as he looks towards Rooster and his wife standing over by the bar. Chloe rests her hand on her stomach, she’s having a girl that’ll be about a month younger than Bradley’s son. Jake’s already gearing up for a lifetime of chasing Bradley’s son away from his kid.
Chloe looks between Bradley and you. “She’s really cute. Do you think Sara knows?”
Engaged. Rooster stares down at his beer, brows furrowed angrily towards the brown glass bottle. You’re fucking engaged. You told him never. He would have fucking waited, he could have —
“Bradley, are you… alright? — You’re being really quiet.” Sara says softly, resting her hand against his arm. He lifts his head and turns to look at her. Really looks. He loves Sara. She’s a fantastic mother to their daughter, her laugh is infectious and when she smiles it feels like his heart could just explode.
Now, faced with exactly what he turned away from five years ago, he’s not so sure. You made him so happy. He could have made you so happy.
“If that asshole doesn’t stop staring over here, I swear to god, I’m going to knock him on his ass.” Joe mumbles angrily, shaking his head and shifting on his feet. You glance across. Bradley’s still staring.
“Joe, stop.” You complain, sipping at your drink. A couple more of these and you’ll stop being bothered by Rooster’s presence all together.
“I told you to start calling me Dad.” Joe bites back angrily. You roll your eyes at the thought. He folds his arms across his chest. “So, what — you dated him or something?”
Another big gulp. “Or something.”
It’s hard to define. A summer of falling in love, a winter of having your heart screwed up, stepped on, and then clumsily pieced back together with someone who is now a stranger to you. He didn’t piece your heart back together right, maybe that’s why you ended things — why it took so long to move on.
“Stop. Drinking.” Joe growls, snatching the glass from your hands. You wobble with the sudden force, taking a deep breath.
You glance across at Rooster, he’s looking at his wife now, his hand resting against her stomach as she leans in to talk to him. You stifle a whimper, forcing yourself to stay upright.
“I feel sick.”
Joe opens his mouth to make a snarky comment. Something along the lines of that being an appropriate response. You don’t get a chance to hear it, brushing past him and hastening towards the ladies room. Jake glances across at Rooster. Rooster watches you leave, concern creasing his features.
“Honey, I’m gonna be right back,” Rooster leans forwards and kisses Sara’s temple, squeezing her bicep tenderly. “Just have to…”
He trails off and shakes his head. He can’t think straight right now. Sara’s brows furrow as her husband takes off again. Jake catches a hold of Chloe’s wrist and stops her from following, shooting her a serious look.
You flinch as the door to the bathroom swings into the tile, eyes blowing wide open. “Rooster, what the fuck?”
“I just need to say a couple of things.” He pushes the door shut behind him and fumbles for a lock, then stops himself. He probably shouldn’t do that. He pulls at his collar, it feels especially tight all of a sudden. You stare at him, leaning back against the counter to the sink.
It’s hard not to soften, knowing that he came in here because he’s worried about you. He watches you relax as he takes a step towards you.
“I missed you,” His voice is quiet, like if he says it too loudly then this will become too much. Like he might scare you off. Your brows raise, just the slightest bit. He takes another step. “I thought about you so fucking much. You said you’d never get married.”
You swallow softly, he’s too close now. Close enough that you could touch him with minimal effort. That you can smell him, intoxicating and familiar. That you’re drawn in, suckered by those soft, brown eyes.
“I said I’d never marry you.” You answer quietly.
Five years later and that still hurts. He steps closer to you, brows creasing. He breathing shallows as he tries not to overreact, standing right in front of you know.
“I wanted to stay, I would’ve stayed.” Rooster breathes out, searching your features, hoping for you to give him the answer he’s looking for. You glance down as he rests his palm against the counter to your side, pinning you between him and the marble.
There’s a long pause, because you don’t know what to say. Sending him away seemed like the right decision, and it probably was, but that doesn’t mean you ever stopped thinking about him.
“You’re married.” You remind him quietly. It goes unsaid, but you’ve both got the same thing on your mind. It’s too late. He’s been wondering for the last five years if it is, he can’t spend the rest of his life not knowing.
He breathes out and takes that final step forwards, pressing his body into yours, cupping your jaw between his index finger and thumb as his lips crash into yours. A surprised hum slips out, you bump into the counter behind you.
You curl your fingers into the fabric of his shirt and pull him forwards again, pressing your lips to his. He nips at your bottom lip, the taste of champagne on your tongue as it slides against his.
His hands wrap around your waist and trail down to cup your ass, you hum eagerly into his mouth. You’ve missed this. For a couple of seconds, it’s just the two of you, like it used to be. Rooster presses himself into you. You tense up as he grabs your hips and drops you onto the counter, relaxing instantly into his touch.
Rooster lips his tongue into your mouth once again, grabbing your knees and parting them, moving to stand between your thighs. His fingertips trail up along your legs, as far as the slit in your dress will allow him. Not far enough.
Out of breath and growing dizzy, you have to pull back, eyes widening. You breathe hard, staring at the man you loved, wide-eyed. Your gaze falls down to look at his hand on your thigh, the gold band on his ring finger.
As soon as you look back up at him, it’s clear that you’re both thinking the same thing. He swipes his thumb tenderly over your cheek, swallowing the lump in his throat.
“Fuck.” It’s not quite a sigh, more of a rushed breath. Your eyes widen whilst his close, he takes a step back. He runs a hand over his face and leans his head back. Frowning, you lean forwards and try again. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
You push yourself down from the counter and press a hand over your mouth. There’s a brief pause, a million thoughts streaming through his head as he tries to figure out what the fuck that was and how the fuck he is making the same mistake again.
Rooster turns his head and looks at you, searching for an answer here and now rather than in the memories he made with you. You swallow softly. It felt the same.
“That was such a dumb mistake, Bradley, I’m so sorry.”
Silenced, he stares at you again. There’s his answer. He nods his head slowly and takes another step back from you. It’s not easy to agree, and so he doesn’t, that didn’t feel like a mistake to him. It probably should’ve.
You can see it in his face, he’s so easy to read and he always has been. He still loves you. There’s a strange, brief sense of triumph that fills you. It’s gone as quickly as it rises when you remember the beautiful woman that he’s here with tonight, who he chose to start a family with.
“I should go.”
“Yeah,” He runs his fingers through his hair and nods for you to leave first. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll… see you around.”
Bradley closes his eyes as you turn away from him.
As your feet carry you off of the tile and into the carpeted hallway, there’s no need to turn around. You’re left with more answers than you were expecting. You had been right about him.
He could’ve never been what you wanted. This was always the future he was meant to have. Your heart settles in your chest, glancing down and fiddling with the ring on your finger. You’d made the right choice.
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 1 month ago
Text
s4 episode 24 thoughts
season FINALE!!! whew, it has been an emotional time these last few months, let me tell you that. i’m wondering how or if this will be wrapped up. 
the episode description makes no mention of scully’s illness, just more aliens. we always end the seasons with aliens. i imagine that this will also be a cliffhanger, so i’m trying to brace myself for that now.
(author's note: there was nothing short of reaching enlightenment that could have prepared me for this, and even if i had ascended to nirvana, i might have been ripped back out by the sheer tragedy of this storyline)
but damn, with a title like gethsemane, i’m expecting even more tears than usual. 
(author's note: yeah)
let us no longer delay. 
we begin with some videos from 1972, including carl sagan! what’s he doing here? well, he’s doing alien things. are you surprised?
the man on the screen is speaking about the probability of contacting aliens. he says it is very high.
and then cut to scully in some very yellow lighting, politely trying to get to a crime scene to do some FBI business!
wait. is that mulder’s couch???
she just needed to make an ID on a body and BRO WHAT. DID SHE FIND MULDER DEAD??? IN HIS OWN APARTMENT?????
HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
now she’s in a meeting room with a lot of important people…. 
she’s explaining how she was assigned to the x files four years ago…. and she’s explaining the mulder lore.
“i come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of agent mulder’s work” <- WOAH WHAT??? betrayal?????
“it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years a victim- a victim of his own false hopes, and in his belief in the biggest of lies” <- that is so sad????!?!??
HELLO??? WHAT??? hey. what’s going on. is that really scully? or is it an alien?
well. they’ve gotten me both hooked and worried. 
is she lying to save him?? is he dead?? is she preserving his reputation in death?? because she said that stuff in the past tense… or maybe he was killed and she will be next if she doesn’t renounce everything???
WHAT IS AFOOT HERE.
scully i just publicly declared you my favorite, you can’t make me take that back…
(author's note: i should have never doubted her <3)
ohhhh fancy, the intro says “believe the lie”
helicopter over the yukon in canada. some guys say the stuff at camp is unbelievable. that's quite a jump in tone from before.
and now they’re marching up the hill, saying they’re very excited etc etc. it looks to be exhausting work. the score is very suspenseful.
they arrive in a cave and shake hands as the newcomers are introduced. and what is in there but…. a frozen alien???
i was hoping it would be a perfectly preserved mammoth :( but okay… whatever… (sadly kicks dirt around)
back to the meeting room with scully!!! she says there have been recent developments on the assumption that aliens exist… mulder was contacted by a man whose “pursuit of this evidence seemed to coincide with his own”, and she says he was duped!!!! fooled by scientific slight of hand!!! 
and she’s here to expose this lie… and to expose his work for what it is….
GIRL, WHAT WENT DOWN???
now a cut to some sort of scully family event!! she’s telling a story about her brother bill. will we finally get to see him!? yes!! here he is!!! like their father, he is also in the navy, and seems to be pretty decorated. 
and he says he sent her a birthday card, to which she says “thanks for remembering this year” LMAOOO get him again for me!!
(why does no one remember her birthday!!! i will cry!!!)
the priest arrives… and scully’s face falls…. why is she sad to see him? and why did he get invited??? i’m stressed. 
father mccue is talking to her about drifting from the church and feeling awkward, but her mom asked him to come tonight. he says turning back to faith is essential in times like this. she says she hasn’t felt a need to draw on faith for strength, that she has some. and she won’t coming running back now.
huh, i wonder if she thinks that “running back” to the church will be admitting defeat. she says she’d be lying to herself and to him if she did that.
maybe she has only lightly been dabbling in god-related affairs since revelations, but not enough to want to return to mass.
but a phone rings… it’s mulder!!!
he says he’s sorry to interrupt her dinner, (so at least there’s some self awareness there) but someone named arlinsky at the smithsonian contacted him about a mountain in canada.
he says she needs to meet him RIGHT AWAY. BRO???????? she looks SO sad when he said that. 
she would do ANYTHING for him. and tbh i see why she wants to expose him now. fuck that. 
she’s assuring him that it’s okay, and he’s trying to apologize, but i’m still mad at him, and scully should be too. and who the hell is this arlinsky guy? apparently he was involved in a ufo photo faking?? but he claims he’s innocent?? THAT is what disrupted her dinner??
he says he won’t tell her what she’s about to see….
he has pictures of an alien frozen in the mountain and she looks deeply unimpressed. girl me too! 
apparently the alien has been in the ice for 200 years. and babcock (arlinsky's colleague) was part of the team that found it.
arlinsky says it’s a very remote location for it to be a hoax, to which mulder once again displays some self awareness with his “well if you’re gonna go, why not go all the way?” but again, not enough to prevent himself from getting in this situation in the first place
arlinsky pulls out the ice core samples from each side of the body, and says he sincerely believes they have a full corpse of an alien. 
but family dinner. i care about that more.
mulder says no one will believe him, and the same people that hid the truth will be asked to authenticate it, so there will be no confirmation either. which is why arlinsky wants him to go and get the body, because he knows it means everything to mulder
ohhhh scully says she has no opinion… “this is your holy grail, mulder, not mine” <- i am glad she is admitting she has no horse in this race
OHHH “proving the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish” <-yeah remind him that you’re literally dying and you can’t waste time because he SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!!!
“this is not some selfish pet project of mine, scully” <- well if it’s for the sake of your sister, but you’re hurting the people around you for it, that is still selfish actually 
woah woah woah i had to write this next part out...
“you already believe, mulder, what difference will it make? i mean, what will proof change for you?”
“if someone could prove to you the existence of god, would it change you?”
“only if it has been disproven”
“then you accept the possibility that belief in god is a lie?” (where are you going with this…? this is a sensitive subject for her!)
“i don’t think about it, actually. and i don’t think it can be proven”
“but what if it could be? wouldn’t that knowledge be worth seeking? or is it easier to go on believing the lie?”
this exchange made me feel frustrated. i wish he would be less ahab-like all of the time. yes, it is a huge deal that someone found an alien. but i see no reason why he couldn't have gone to that meeting by himself. and bringing god into this when he knows that's something very personal to her is a low blow. i get the point he was trying to make about believing the lie and all that, but c'mon man.
mulder honey, i get that this is a big deal to you, but time and place.
she tells him that she cannot go with him, but then he says, well can you just look at the ice core samples please. and she nods her head reluctantly. 
cut back to the big meeting room with scully and other very important people
“what i couldn’t tell agent mulder, what i had only just learned myself, was that the cancer which had been diagnosed in me several months earlier had metastasized. and the doctors told me, short of a miracle, it would continue to aggressively invade my body, advancing faster each day towards the inevitable” <- OH MY GOD??? oh my god. 
but why wouldn't she tell him... did she think that telling him then would interrupt his alien quest?? and she didn't want to do that because she knows how important it is to him? or did she not want him to worry?
because i would have told him!!! i would have said it right then and there!! but she is very different from me...
the fact that she is aware that she has so little time left and STILL left her dinner to go deal with his nonsense… scully, i fear you give too much and need to do things for yourself, please please
back on the mountain, they’re cutting the ice with a chainsaw. feels a bit unscientific, but i mean i guess that’s how you get that stuff done.
one guy is loading a pistol??? saying he doesn’t know the men well. that’s suspicious. i don’t care for it. 
there’s something in the ice. maybe a bubble. or a casting hole!! of liquid poured!! could this be a fake?? but the angle wouldn’t make sense, says one guy. hmm... i'm not sure what to think.
did they put a fake alien all the way up here…? and why is gun guy looking around all shady like…?
back to the core samples in DC. the scientist says he found some hybrid cells in there, not plants nor animals, but chimera, and he wants to get them under a microscope. hmm… can we clone da alien :3
someone walks into the cave in the yukon with a shotgun!!! and kills all of the men!!!!! what the hell!!! is this a real alien then?????
this happens just as others begin the hike up the mountain, including the smithsonian guy arlinsky. and mulder!! i didn’t even recognize him under all those baggy coats and sunglasses. wow. i feel like a fake fan.
someone was supposed to meet them and guide them up the mountain, but there’s no one there, and all the supplies are frozen over. so they begin the hike on their own, following the tracks from the others.
oh! the find someone keeled over in the snow, to which mulder remarks “funny place to take a nap”. again with the inappropriate jokes as a coping mechanism. it’s the guide that was supposed to meet them!! and he was shot and killed!!!
well, the alien is starting to look more authentic as the bodies pile up. 
back at the lab, scully is looking for the scientist, but she doesn’t find him. what she does find is a guy stealing the core sample???
he shoves her down the stairs?????? what the HELL!!!!
see, i thought the alien was a lie at first, but now it’s starting to appear compelling.
mulder and smithsonian guy arlinsky have arrived at the cave, and he pulls out his gun. they find all of the bodies from the crew, and no alien!!! it has been carved out!!!
mulder hypothesizes that perhaps someone was listening to their radio comms and came to hide their alien knowledge, but they hear some groans. and babcock is still alive!!
he says that the alien body wasn’t taken, but that he buried it!! and sure enough, they find it beneath their feet. mulder looks at it with amazement. big moment for a guy like him.
but scully!!! her face is bruised and her pristine lab coat is covered in blood! bill comes in with a change of clothes. and he didn’t tell their mom what happened. 
“i was knocked down a flight of stairs… but i’m okay, luckily”
“you’re not okay, dana” <- OHHHH BILL. please tread carefully.
he says he knows about her cancer and she says mom wasn’t supposed to tell him!!!
she says she doesn’t want sympathy, and he accuses her of thinking she can cure herself. which feels like a terribly low blow.
OHHHH MY GOD. wait hold on. hold on.
“what are you doing at work getting knocked down and beaten up? what are you trying to prove? that you’re gonna go out fighting?”
“oh now, come on, bill”
“do you know what mom is going through? why do you think i didn’t tell her when they called?”
“what should i be doing?” (said with great frustration)
“we have a responsibility, not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives”
“hey, look, just-just because i haven’t bared my soul to you or to father mccue or to god, it doesn’t mean that i’m not responsible to what’s important to me” (this was very defensive and exasperated in tone)
“to what? to who? this guy mulder? well, where is he, dana? where is he through all this?”
well…. i want to defend mulder, to say he doesn’t know, but just because he doesn’t know that her cancer is getting worse doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been more sensitive. he actually has been very conscientious, which makes this whole alien thing all the more sudden and infuriating!!!
she is stunned into silence as bill looks at her with fury. and she doesn’t say anything more to him beyond “thank you for coming” <-god, what was she supposed to even say?? i get trying to shake her back to reality, but who did that cruelty help??
bill, i get what you were trying to do, but you pissed me off in the way that you did it. do you always show the people you care for that you love them by screaming at them? because if so. not a very effective tactic.
mulder is unboxing the alien, which is now in DC, and he’s trying to thaw it with the smithsonian guy arlinsky and babcock! who is doing better! despite taking a shotgun bullet.
babcock asks if it were a hoax, why would there be 6 men dead over it, which is a good question. 
ewwww, the alien looks so gross….
with the help of another FBI agent, she finds the guy who hurt her!!!! and he’s working for the government!!!! in the pentagon‘s research facility!!! his name is kritschgau. they should not hire people in the government who assault women in stairwells.
mulder and crew are getting x rays and scans of the alien. mulder is wearing a sweater, but i’m still mad at him so i will NOT make note of how cute it is. 
the alien body is gross as hell. they’re filming an autopsy. ohhh he’s cutting the eye membrane off. EWWWW. EWWW.
now the ribs…… ewww ewww ewwww EWW IT CRUNCHES. NASTY. he takes the ribs out and starts looking at the heart and lungs and some other white stuff in the chest. gag.
meanwhile, scully’s casing the joint looking for the dude kritschgau who assaulted her, and she finds him, tracks him down, and nearly hits him with her car!!! she has her gun and is going after him!!!! he is under arrest!!! 
she is NOT messing around. we see a level of scully fury here that is incredibly potent and shown to us infrequently. i enjoy it, but it also makes me sad, because it shows how much stress she is under.
it appears he has slipped away, but she catches him!!!!! yes ma'am!!!!
kritschgau says that if he gets arrested, they’ll kill him. “they” being the same people that gave her cancer!!! how tf does he know about that???”
meanwhile, the alien organs are being weighed.
then cutscene back to the big meeting with scully!!! she’s telling them about how they smuggled the corpse back, saying mulder was ready to believe it was an alien.
but kritschgau convinced her it was otherwise, and not a true alien… he explained how mulder and her had been deceived and used, and that it was part of their plan that led to missy’s death and her illness.
god, how she must have felt hearing that… that everything that had happened to her was a waste, that the only point in her suffering was to advance corruption... it must have been devastating
as mulder leaves the warehouse where the autopsy was occurring, it seems he’s being watched by a guy with a shotgun??? is the shotgun guy going from before after the alien people????
it IS shotgun guy from before!!!! he knows babcock?? and he kills smithsonian guy arlinsky!!!
now who tf is this babcock fellow?!?!?!?!?!?
kritschgau is now sitting in mulder's apartment, explaining the "everything is a lie" story to him. mulder asks why he'd do this now- a fair question- and kritschgau says he came to him because his son is very sick after serving in the gulf war. i suppose if in this universe that is also something that has been covered up by the government, it could spark some disillusionment in the whole process once it impacts him personally.
he says "they" invented mulder, the regression hypnosis, the story of his sister and what they told his dad, and that the alien body was made carefully in a lab. and it would never be carbon dated, it was only for him to see so he would go public with the news and discredit himself.
mulder declares kritschgau to be a liar, but he says the body is already long gone, so he leaves to check. and sure enough, when he goes back to the warehouse, it isn’t there, but arlinsky is dead, as is shotgun guy!!!
again, WHO TF IS BABCOCK??!?!?
the cellular materials were an exact match to what kritschgau described. 
and this brings us to scully and mulder really fighting, really really fighting
“after all i’ve seen and experienced, i refuse to believe it’s not true” “because it’s easier to believe the lie, isn’t it?” <- ohh callback to earlier....
and she reveals that he said she was given this sickness to make him believe… oh my god, if that’s true, and her life is just a prop in their sick game… 
he storms out. 
back to the video from the 70’s we began with. 
mulder is watching it and crying. oh no… the beginning is clicking into place for me…… oh no, i see what is coming…. 
back to the meeting room. she says she went to his apartment that morning to identify a body, and that mulder died of a self-inflicted gunshot 
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?????????????????
thus concludes the episode
she’s crying, she’s crying, all i can think about is her crying, what the hell, what the hell….
so he killed himself because he realized he was being used as a pawn and it was his fault scully was dying…
normally i would have more to say. but i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t. this is just so fucking sad. i don’t even have the words. never in a million years did i see this happening. what the hell???? what the hell?
do i believe this kritschgau guy??? i think he’s probably telling 30% of the truth. but not the whole thing. why would all those men die for a fake alien? i think he’s being deployed as a cover story as mulder gets too close. and i think some of this is engineered, but not as much as he claims.
and i'm willing to bet that "believing the lie" actually refers to scully believing his cover story!!!
man. i’m sorry but i’m just so sad. i have been so sad this whole season!!!! 
mulder…… it was rude of you to interrupt her dinner…… but this was not the answer… 
how is sneaky mulder going to get out of the situation THIS time??? and how is scully going to get out of the hole she's dug by reporting all of their work as fraud?? is bill going to be happy now?? lowkey fuck bill, btw.
wow... this is just painful. and i don't even have to wait months to find out what happens next. had i seen this when it aired live i probably would have entered a state of mourning.
so that's the end, huh? of the season, i mean. just sucker punch after sucker punch. i hope this isn't the tone of everything else moving forward. can i get uhhhh one order of whimsy please. with a side of mutual pining. and a small hurt/comfort, emphasis on the comfort. thank you.
after waiting 24 hours from watching the episode initially, i am still torn between how to proceed next. part of me wants to compile all of my favorite moments from the season like always, but the other part of me wants to begin the next episode right away, just so i can move on from such horrible mental imagery as mulder dead from a self-inflicted gunshot. what a terrible thing i wouldn't even have expected from fanfiction!
but, i can also see that the next episode is a two parter, and to be left on ANOTHER cliffhanger would be horrible- but probably LESS horrible than being left with the sadness of dead mulder, right? i don't know what to do! i am filled with indecision!!!!
:(
at least i can take away some fascinating analysis regarding scully's relationship to catholicism, and her idea that depending on any force outside of herself- be it family, friends, or god- is a sign of weakness. i mean, that is pretty telling about her character. and the fact that she believes this so strongly she tried to hide her cancer getting worse from her brother and succeeded in hiding it from mulder!!! to even voice the truth would make it real. maybe that's why she can't tell them, can't go to mass- because it would mean that the end is really near if she did so. i think it's about both the perceived ideas of weakness ingrained in her by her hardass parents and a refusal to let the situation she has found herself in be registered as real in her own mind. she knows it is. but maybe if she pushes it to the side, she can forget for a while.
wow. that sure is something to think over, and think it over i shall.
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bestworstcase · 7 months ago
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So! That new rwby beyond episode huh?
I can't do intros for shit. Do you think Ozcar's answer to Jaune's question of "Do you think we're gonna make it?" was, in part, them dodging the question? Not revealing how unsure they feel and instead choosing to comfort Jaune with "Around those campfires, did it really matter?" Do you think of that answer as a cop-out, or as a legitimate answer? Both perhaps?
oh oz absolutely thinks they’re not gonna make it. i am so sure about that.
bc the thing is, ozpin thought he’d been at war with salem for centuries, he thought he’d managed to keep her out and whittle away her influence down to almost nothing. right. his whole reason for handling the situation the way he did in v1-3 is he believed that salem wouldn’t leave the shadows, wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her secrecy. the thing about his paranoia in seeing salem’s hand behind every grimm attack and every period of unrest or war is he had no idea what salem was capable of or how far she would go, but he believed that he did.
within the space of, like, maybe a year and a half, salem has. knocked down beacon academy, forced haven academy to close by assassinating most of its faculty, laid siege to atlas with a fleet of millions of grimm and directly caused atlas to fall, and within a few weeks of that razed vale to the ground. three of his four academies are either destroyed or defunct; two whole countries are just. Gone. it’s been a year and a half!
he. underestimated. really really badly, he underestimated salem and for him this past year has been a harrowing journey of discovering exactly how badly he underestimated her. a year and a half and they’ve gone from “unprecedented era of peaceful prosperity” to desperate last stand. oz hasn’t been in such dire straits since the final battle of the great war when he resorted to using two relics to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, and now one of those is within salem’s reach, and if they take the sword out of its vault that’s just one step closer to salem getting her hands on it.
like, oscar annihilated her millions of grimm in atlas and a few weeks later she turned around and flattened vale.
this is not a fight they can win. and i think oz is painfully aware of that. (the whole point is that the only way out is through negotiation. they have to stop fighting her and start talking to her.)
but i also think he meant “around that campfire, did it matter?” very genuinely because he found his hope again when he returned in atlas, and the situation being hopeless has no bearing on how he chooses to look at it or how he chooses to act. so things are very very bad but oz is, emotionally, in a much better place now than he was at the beginning of the story when things appeared to be okay. it’s the next step from “fear isn’t worthy of our concern”
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