#it has truly been Hell at work

[halorvic]

[citruscloudsandmoon]

A GOLD FOR 🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰 AFTER 32 YEARS!!! 😭😭😭

ARSHAD YOU ABSOLUTE BEAST!!!

We really, truly needed this win!!! 😭🥹😭

[omaano]

Art Summary of 2023

I kind of wish I had taken this thing to the next level and used a picture with a clone in it for March and November as well (I looked it up now, I very much could have added my Fives portrait or that first pinup-y illustration of Rex for March, and a very cute drawing of a clone OC and his dog (of whom I am promised to get partial custody, and how cool is that really?? and I am so very excited to show him off next year!!)) but it was also the year of Din in big hats as well, so I let those pieces stay :) You'll just have to take my word that there is a Rex in the July picture too.

I feel ike I have learned so much, and also have grown a lot more confident in my skills as an artist; I've learned that I love drawing backgrounds to make a "full" illustration, that intricate little details fascinate me to no end, that I can do fun things with lineart and my version of cell shading but I also miss dedicating the time to a full painting; and that harsh/stronger light reflecting off of darker skin is still something I'll have to study further next year.

Thank you everyone for your continued support in 2023! I have so many kind and enthusiastic tags screenshotted and saved for the days when I inevitably doubt what I do, it means so so much to me! I'm very grateful for the old and new friends I'd made or reconnected with this year ❤️❤️❤️ - and hello to new followers too, I hope you'll keep enjoying what I do here ❤️

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[bacchuschucklefuck]

My Accolades

[studentbyday]

week 4 / small commitments challenge

I read a tumblr post talking about how our experiences in young adulthood are so varied that while we aren't alone in those experiences, we are actually so alone...Maybe that's why I sometimes find myself thinking of the future more than the present because surely by that stage, I won't be so alone in that sense anymore. I felt that way in high school about university and I feel that way now in undergrad about whatever lies ahead. But what if I just took time to enjoy what there is to enjoy in my current category of experience? Stopped thinking happiness and belonging of that type lies never now but at some future destination? Perhaps I will stop feeling so behind in life because I've stopped thinking there is only one right path to follow to live a life that is satisfying to me. Perhaps I will feel less alone.

🪴 tomato garden (50/10): M: no timer today bc it's annoying to keep pausing and unpausing whenever smth happens irl that doesn't neatly fit the timer T: better to get as much sh*t done as i can than to have the pressure of a timer (never enough time 😭) burning a hole in the back of my mind 😪 W: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅+(1/2 🍅) (felt better today, hence the "tomato planting") Th: 🍅🍅🍅+(1/2 🍅) F: 🍅🍅🍅🍅 I also studied on Saturday (😭) and tried and failed to on Sunday (couldn't bring myself to focus...felt so drained 😪😭) but saw no point in tracking my time. I get things done when I get them done regardless. Sometimes a timer is just discouraging.

😎 side quests: 🐸 yoga: 🧘🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️ (fell off the bandwagon with this, but oh well) 📝 journalling: 🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️(this REALLY saves my gears from spinning too much late into the night when i'm anxious. also serves as my main and important form of catharsis during the struggle towards semester's end ❤️‍🩹 i can't wait to feel alive again)

[yeonban]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBIAS! (24.05)

@effigist asked: / Tobias bday festivities ! this got long . my bad bestie

ash lingers in dark shadows cast down from the buildings surrounding the big celebration’s location , vigilantly observing from outside rather than daring to step in . he heard about tobias’ birthday a few days prior from some of his blabbermouth men who had timidly asked their leader if they could attend the big party dedicated to no other than the sharpest thorn in ash’s side . he responded with a dismissive scowl , grumbling something like do whatever the hell you want , while doing his best to seem as disinterested as possible . last thing he wanted was for the men to think he would be attending that hellish celebration - god , no , he’d rather get himself thrown in the slammer just to avoid it . in great contrast to his apparent dislike for the celebration , he nonetheless loitered outside for a good hour after showing up towards the end of the celebration , remaining out of sight until groups of people filed out from the doors &. ash concluded it was finally coming to its rightful end . about time . only when the detested birthday boy enters his line of sight , does the lurking predator step out from the shadows . though , instead of attacking or otherwise antagonizing tobias , he merely walks with an air of leisure &. casualty a teenaged gang leader had absolutely no business maintaining , before stopping at the dark haired teen’s side .

❝ you tired of gettin’ pampered like a snobby princess , yet ? ❞ a playful smirk tugs at the blonde’s lips , implying he must be in a decent mood . gingerly , his arm lifts &. stretches over tobias’ shoulder , although no contact is made . he merely keeps his limb hovering just above the point of contact , but close enough to where any bystander from a distance would be fooled . swiftly , ash’s nimble fingers drop a little plastic card into the other’s chest pocket . It’s a library card . ash is more than aware that the man could easily access any book of his choosing with his status , connections , money , &. influence , but he paid it no mind . once the sneaky exchange is completed , his arm lowers , but not before giving a slightly - too - hard - to - be - considered - a - pat smack into the back of tobias’ shoulder . ❝ better be careful around my guys until the clock strikes midnight , cinderella . they’ll give a loser like you a beatin’ for every year you’ve been alive . ❞ they won’t .

The birthday boy is one of the last to exit the building, animatedly chatting up the few who have chosen to continue their conversations with him even after the party has ended, and it's only when they're stepping down the outer stairs and the teen can feel a distant gaze intently focused on him that he steadily shepherds the guests towards the end of the conversation, shaking their hands and waving them goodbye before glancing in the direction of the gaze. Whatever he may have expected it to be caused by --- an ambush on his birthday or an informant returning to report their findings; the sight of Ash Lynx willingly approaching him had certainly not been it.

Tobias' expression doesn't change much, yet the surprise is apparent enough if one knows where to look for it. It hides in the sudden blink and the lingering stare as the blond threads closer, it crawls in the unspoken but palpable question of what's going on and in the quick yet subdued glance behind Ash as if to check whether the blond has either been coerced into it or sought him out with an urgent purpose in mind. Grey eyes return to look into the jade pair and yet none of these possibilities seem to have quite hit the mark. Ash's smirk isn't gloomily sarcastic nor does his body language speak of anxieties or woes, and there is nothing whatsoever to indicate that he's come here in a hurry. If anything, he appears to have either been on a stroll to this location, or been hiding nearby for a while.

Tentatively testing the waters, Tobias' lips curl into a matching grin, carefully watching each of the gang leader's movements. ❛ Ash? You could've told me you were dropping by, you know. I'd have ditched the others way earlier if I'd known you're around. ❜ The subsequent close proximity is as shocking as the other's presence near the celebration's location and Tobias almost opts to jokingly remark on it when the corners of his eyes catch a glimpse of a thin card delicately sliding into his chest pocket. Hm...? ❛ What, you got me a gift, too? ❜ This may have counted as a teasing comment had the exchange taken place on another day and for the first few seconds Tobias even means it as such, but with Ash's jesting and the deliberate secrecy surrounding the gift-giving, as if this display of cordiality has the potential to be ruinous to the blond's image, Tobias can't help but reach into his pocket and bring the alleged present into his field of vision. A gift? Really?

He doesn't bother inquiring from where Ash has learned of his birthday, he'd expected as much with anyone worth their damn being able to find out about it one way or the other, but the sequence of events following that has barely been considered a priori, imagined as unlikely from the get go and thus unworthy of being thought about; yet it appears his calculations have, shockingly enough, been slightly off the mark. He'd figured Ash would accept hanging out with him if he approached the blond after the fussy festivities were wrapped up (if begrudgingly so), but had he misjudged how challenging it would be for them to reach this point of vague friendship, back during their first few meetings? Or had Ash just coincidentally felt generous on this occasion?

The library card that graces his eyes once he fishes the present out of his pocket might seem as nothing much to most in his position, but Tobias grows troublingly quiet at the sight, the grin on his face slowly dissipating into a thin line; neither annoyed, nor upset --- but rather, cognizant. Under normal circumstances it would take nothing more than a name and an address for such a plastic card to be issued, and it could very well pass as a friendly insult, jokingly implying the receiver should open a book for once, but in their situation it's a calculated effort, and quite an effort he's sure it has been. False identities such as his own come bearing little documentation, or if there is any available it certainly wouldn't be at everyone's discretion, so the existence of a library card with Tobias' name on it hints at a far grander and more complicated process than the regular person would give it credit for, and it seems the blond has deemed him worth the trouble, despite the older teen having indirectly offered Ash a way out of the mandatory gift-giving by not inviting him to the celebration.

Yet perhaps even more baffling still is another minor detail, something so subtle that it would have passed entirely unnoticed had it been anyone but Tobias attempting to grasp its meaning, or had he not been as attentive to Ash's lifestyle and habits as he chose to be. A detail he is more than certain represents a major step in their relationship, and one which signifies a degree of trust (whether conscious or subconscious) that he hasn't been expecting to receive for at least another year of incessantly bothering the blond. Being offered access to Ash's last safe haven, by the gang leader himself.

The silence continues while Tobias stares at the gift in muted incredulity, unsure of how exactly to react to any of the rapid fire surprises this simple choice of presents has flooded him with. Is it a code for something? No, Ash seems to be having a good day, there is probably no reason for him to ask Tobias to meet him at the library for a secret conversation. If so, is he going to request or demand something? No, also unlikely given the ease with which Tobias already offers him everything. There'd be no point in going the extra mile for something he could receive for free while doing nothing.

Is Ash really just reaching out to him of his own volition? That almost seems more doubtful than the previous possibilities, but unless the younger teen is a greater actor than all of the ones Tobias has met... he doesn't seem to be the sort to harbor ulterior motives or take advantage of others without first being given a reason to; and the orphan would like to think he hasn't done anything egregious enough to the gang leader or his men to warrant that. Ash's honesty is one of the traits he values about the other, after all (quite the rarity in their field of work, for better or worse) and what a shame it would be for him to senselessly lose the privilege of knowing for a fact that Ash's words and behaviors are always connected to the definitive truth.

Although there is an ongoing dispute in his mind, Ash's remark doesn't pass by unnoticed; bringing a familiar tint of amusement in the otherwise uncertain state of affairs. Paired with the quizzical gift in hand, it brings the smirk back onto Tobias' face, if a tad more hesitant than it had been before, and it prompts him to turn to look at the other again. How should he react now? Where do they stand, if not where he'd thought they did? Should he wait and see, or should he outright ask? ❛ ......Then, prince charming, how about you act as my bodyguard 'til I'm safe from harm and ready to depart? Midnight is still a long way off, but surely your macho men won't think to lift a finger on someone as frail as me with you around to keep them at bay, ❜ Perhaps slowly prodding is the way to go, if he's learned anything from Ash's lethal allergies to appearing vulnerable. He'll always have the time to ask later, if the moment is ever opportune enough, and maybe there won't even be a need for that after observing Ash's behavior for a while longer.

Lifting his free arm, Tobias leisurely brings it 'round the lynx's shoulders as the other had done to him prior, except he lets his arm come into contact with Ash's shoulders while slowly poking him with the library card present in the other hand. It's a blithe touch, one blatantly meant for gauging where he stands with the other rather than an attempt at rudely breaking into his personal space, and one he had been very careful not to engage in prior to this day despite physical contact being the brunette's go-to when interacting with practically everyone else.

However... with all of the surprises already sent his way, and particularly so with the confounding (albeit indirect) openness Ash has showed him today, it might as well be the best moment to check what boundaries he's currently kept at, and figure things out from there. Will he be shrugged or pushed off as he'd previously figured it'd happen, or will Ash allow him this sort of friendly touch, and surprise him for a fourth time? ❛ And while you're at it, how about you show me to the library, too? I could use some new book recommendations. Who knows, maybe you'll even find that I'm a pretty good reading buddy to have. ❜ The request can easily pass as a debonair way of bringing Ash along for the ride, but with the lengths Tobias has gone to not encroach into the library for as long as it had been Ash's turf, the assistance with maneuvering inside the humongous building might actually be helpful.

[voulezloux]

i’m tired of having to explain to my friends why i had to make a post basically begging for support while im unable to work because it only makes me more angry every time i do so. like i can’t get short term disability because that’s not a benefit that they offer and even if they did, i would have to pay for that myself in order to get it. i could’ve rolled over my old plan from the previous owner to the new owner and pay for it separately. but the one time i had used it, they put me under illness and not injury (which is what it was. because i injured my foot and couldn’t stand to do my job. i even put it as an injury and they said i lied and changed it) and the payout i got barely covered my bills. i didn’t see a point in continuing to pay for a service that would do that plus it took a full month after i went back to work to even get the payout. the only benefits they offer at 401(k) with them matching, PTO, and health insurance. that’s it. i’m using what’s left of my PTO this week to bulk up my paycheck so i can actually get some kind of money but after that i don’t know when i’ll have a paycheck next. i’m looking for work because i can’t afford not to work. there’s nothing in place to protect the worker at my job in the event of this happening. the only reason im not completely losing my mind is because im still able to get health insurance while im unable to work but that’s not because of them. that’s because of FMLA. if that wasn’t in place, who the fuck knows man

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

[telluricdog]

so @iisansvertigo and i played far cry 5 together recently...

[jestiamy]

art is fun except for the several times it's not

[wabblebees]

thought id update to say; i survived opening night!!! and not only that, it went REALLY fucking well, and people seemed to REALLY REALLY like it omfg... god this is so crazy

[godsfavoritescientist]

Brainstorming ideas for my WIP is so much fun. I'm searching for something so incredibly intangible to add to the fic that I don't even know what to call it, but I'm certain that I'm gonna know it when I see it. There's nothing quite like reading through the wikipedia page for "ciphertexts," reading the short story The Metamorphosis, listening to a compilation of all the top billboard hits of the 1940s, and then reading through some Carl Sandburg poems, all for coming up with ideas for an angsty bill fanfic. I'm the most normal of all about this cartoon triangle.

[scattered-winter]

watching an interview with hans zimmer and it's crazy how artists will always always always be such perfectionists about their work no matter the level they're at huh

[kuromi-hoemie]

bleh i wish hearing was something u could turn off 100% at will (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) how am i overstimulated at 12:15am

[losfacedevil]

Today has been horrible. But I came home to a gorgeous bouquet of Tulips from my best friend for Mother’s Day 😭

[godblooded]

me dipping back into the mess that is asoiaf : but what if dany’s vision wasn’t rhae but was in fact aegon in a vision of something that never was and it was not rhae whispering lyanna’s name but instead a false past dany saw at the house of the undying and we do not know whose name was whispered since ‘a dying prince’ could easily be aegon as well as rhaerhae and we know that the visions are unreliable.