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caligvlasaqvarivm · 9 months ago

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Murder, Love, and Destiny: An Eridan Ampora Character Study

Warnings for things from Homestuck, like discussions of child abuse, mental illness, murder, suicide, etc. etc.

Because there's a huge wall of text after this point, I'm going to summarize what I hope to convince you of in bullet point format, and then hope you'll actually read the rest of the text before arguing with me about it.

Eridan is the least casteist highblood, if you ignore all the slurs.

Those are his emotional support slurs.

Pale EriKar was not only canon, but set up to be endgame.

Eridan is incredibly plot-relevant, thematically relevant, and was definitely originally intended to be brought back to life, alongside the other dead trolls.

He's Sad.

The first thing we have to establish is what counts as "canon" for the purpose of this essay. I am only counting the original comic up to Game Over, after which there's a general consensus that Hussie kind of gave up on his original planned ending, and slapped together something that most people hate. So I am immediately disqualifying Pesterquest, supplementary material, fanworks deemed canon, the epilogues, and Homestuck^2.

Moreover, we are taking Hussie's commentaries with a grain of salt, for two reasons. The first reason is that I firmly believe - and will be arguing - that the original plan was to bring Eridan (and the other dead trolls) back; therefore, Hussie (who has a track record of playing coy with future plot twists) can't speak too fondly of him, lest he give it away. The second reason for de-emphasizing Hussie's words is that, post-retcon, Hussie isn't very well going to say that he had plans for a better ending, and then didn't execute on them; to save face, he has to act as though his trashing of several prior plot threads, including but not limited to Eridan, was the plan all along.

Therefore, this essay will not be putting too much emphasis on Word of God, and will instead be relying on textual evidence from the comic itself, of which there is plenty. So without further ado:

Eridan is a Consummate Murderer.

The reason I'm starting with this point is that, far more than any other, this truth lies at the core of his being. Eridan is formally introduced to us with a murder, and he's haunted by an overpowering genocide complex. He outright describes to Rose at one point that "killin is all i evver done practically," and uses "murder" as an expletive (ie "swweet stinkin murder"). With a conservative estimate of 5 kills per week for 4 sweeps (Vriska looks VERY young when she has to start killing, and Eridan was likely a similar age when he began), both Eridan and Vriska easily have bodycounts above 2000 - the real number is probably even higher.

At this point, many raise an objection that Eridan is only killing lusii, but I believe we need to count his kills as troll murders, for three reasons: first, a dead lusus results in the orphaned troll being culled; second, one has to assume he has had cases of trolls trying to defend their lusii, or coming after him for vengeance; and third - and most importantly - Eridan HIMSELF is thinking about the orphaned trolls.

Compare Feferi: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. At least until she dies.

To Eridan: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere very sad.

So Eridan, to a much greater extent than even Feferi, is thinking about the orphaned trolls he's leaving behind, and considers his own actions to be murder.

Now that we've established the facts regarding his murders - a rough bodycount, and the fact that, by his own admission, he barely had any hobbies outside of it - we can move on to the effect that it's had on him. It's not very good!

Vriska's manipul8tions and murders had to be done for her own sake - if she ever stopped, she died. Therefore, much of Vriska's personality revolves around justifying her own actions so she doesn't have to reckon with her softer feelings, like guilt or kindness - which she expresses would be viewed as scandalous by others of her caste.

But if Eridan ever stops feeding Gl'bgolyb, everybody dies. The stakes he has riding on his shoulders are, at all times, the fate of all trolls, including all his friends. Given Dualscar's title was "Orphaner," it's implied that killing lusii for Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's duty, and is seen as such by the others, which is why nobody expresses gratitude for his hard work even a single time.

Which brings us to our next point:

Eridan is Crushed by Anxiety.

If Eridan stops killing lusii, everybody - especially his friends, but everybody else, too - dies.

If Eridan ever shows guilt or kindness, he'll be considered "weak" by the standards of highbloods - he shares this with Vriska.

Eridan is expected, by aristocratic tradition, to take on the mantle of his ancestor Dualscar and finish his work. Dualscar met a comedically cringefail end, so this is a massive undertaking.

Before finding out that god tiering is an option - so, for nearly his entire life - Eridan has had to live with the expectation that he will outlive all of his friends. The lowbloods from culling or dying on the battlefield, the highbloods from old age, and Feferi from being killed by the Empress when she gets old enough.

(This is reflected in who he talks to the most - Feferi, who's the only one with a natural lifespan longer than his, Vriska, who's a highblood, Kanaya, who's practically guaranteed to survive into adulthood, and Karkat, whose anonblood allows Eridan to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Also if he can't land his concupiscent quadrants he'll die from that too, but that seems pretty secondary to the rest of his concerns.

He can't even make friends with the other highbloods, because sea dwellers are expected to hate and antagonize them.

He had a free ticket into adulthood, but would almost certainly be expected to join the army and serve as a commander. That is to say, his fate of performing the role of a vicious, murderous sea dweller seems dreadfully inevitable to him.

NO WONDER he can't stop having emotional breakdowns. NO WONDER his chatlogs swing wildly from relentless self-aggrandizement to traumadumping. NO WONDER he's obsessed with murder and death and genocide.

Doc Scratch calls him a "vengeful boy on the path of nihilism," and it's not hard to see why: Eridan's entire life has been about living up to the role imposed on him by society, sacrificing his own time and sanity for everyone else, which he "nevver got any appreciation for anywway." And all he had to look forward to was more of the same, all his friends dropping dead one by one before him. For Eridan, there has never been any hope.

SGRUB could have been a way out for him, but a combination of his own terrible choices, spurred on by his anxieties, and his teammates' unwillingness to knock some sense into him, meant that he only wound up mired even deeper in his hopelessness.

We all know about how Eridan wouldn't stop killing the angels on his planet, provoking their aggression and turning it into a ball of death. How he was definitely not supposed to be doing this, and how his stubborn insistence on it led to his further ostracization from the rest of the group. The thing is, when we look at his angel-murders from the point of view that Eridan's entire life has been about murdering things or else Something Bad™ happens, it actually starts to become... kind of sad.

KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB. KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN? ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties

Killing the angels is something he feels like his has to do, because his entire life has been about killing things he doesn't want to kill. He's unable to break out of that mindset on his own, and his unpleasant personality has scared off anyone who might want to help. No one on the team tries to understand his thought process on a deeper level, not even Karkat, who just tells him it was an idiotic thing to do without addressing his underlying anxieties at all. Indeed, "nobody understands."

And this is really the root of why I think so many people get the wrong read on Eridan - Eridan is constantly contradicting himself, constantly denying his own feelings, constantly pushing an image that he doesn't actually believe in, and constantly insisting that he's fine with all the horrible shit in his life - that he likes it, even. After all, he can't admit to his guilt for his murders, or how much he doesn't want to watch his friends die, or how scared he is about the future - that'd be weakness!

CC: I can't look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

You see his contradictory nature with his stated love of history, which he only ever offhandedly mentions - because he's not actually that interested in history, it's just something that's expected of someone of his station. And you see it with his wavy accent, which he himself calls "weird" and drops when he's trying to be emotionally sincere. And you see it with his dumbass outfit, which is very clearly an imitation of Dualscar (with the only exception being the wizard-ass scarf, because wizards are his actual interest. I don't believe he likes fashion. I genuinely believe - and Eridan himself says so - that he basically has no hobbies outside of murder).

Even being proud to be a sea dweller is pretty much an outright lie:

CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at... CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!

One that he tells because he's SCARED OF THE OCEAN. Because he knows what lives in the ocean, because he's been feeding it his entire life. I see a lot of people who give Eridan an interest in marine life, and I'm telling you, that's just got no basis in canon. He's fucking TERRIFIED of the sea.

And for that matter, land dweller genocide. Eridan doesn't want to do it. Both Feferi AND his internal narration call him out for not actually wanting to do it. He outright states he wouldn't kill his friends.

CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

But he feels like he HAS to want it, HAS to believe in it, HAS to be talking about it constantly, because that's what's expected from him as a sea dweller, and a sea dweller is ALL that he will get to be. The mutation that puts a violet streak in his hair is damning. It's a fate he feels like he can't escape. Which brings us to:

Eridan is Not Actually Casteist, Well He Is But Not Like That, It's Complicated

Secondary title: Those Are His Emotional Support Slurs, Okay

In the exact same vein (haha) as secretly not wanting all the land dwellers dead, Eridan also genuinely doesn't feel like he's better than lower blood castes. Vriska and Equius obviously put quite a bit of stock into being nobility, and both have acted superior to Karkat for it. Feferi actually revels in her high status, and while she is genuinely well-meaning, she's not as interested in abolishing casteism as she is in changing the meaning of "culling" specifically (the hemocaste, aristocracy, and casteism still very much exist in a Beforus under her rule). Gamzee MIGHT be the only highblood less casteist than Eridan, but then again, as soon as he snaps, he does say a lot of casteist stuff to Equius, although it's unclear how serious he is, and he also proceeds to get really into his weird highblood clown cult.

Meanwhile, Eridan - despite all his slurs and talk of genocide - does not actually try to "pull rank" on a lowblood for being a lower caste than him with a single exception. That exception is Sollux... after he's already shown having entirely caste-neutral opinions on Sollux:

CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete! CA: man that guy CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB. CC: 38P CA: fuck SORRY CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life. CA: yeah sorry

CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless noww CA: she had better things to wworry about than my ovverwwrought bullshit CA: like the dead guy wwho savved her CA: so forget it thanks anywway

It's only AFTER he's mad at Sollux for dating Feferi that he starts going in on Sollux with casteist rhetoric... which is treated as unrequited flirting and not serious casteism:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

THEY don't even think he's being casteist.

In fact, directly contradicting this earlier argument he has with Feferi:

CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is. CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! CC: GLUB. >38( CA: pshh CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

He OUTRIGHT states his real feelings here:

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody CA: im worse than anybody CA: EVERYBODY CA: all the bodies

So the question of "is Eridan casteist" has an answer of "kind of, but also no." Eridan DOES espouse the rhetoric; he's constantly saying stuff that a casteist sea dweller "should" be saying. However, if you look at his ACTIONS, and the way he actually treats people, he doesn't actually care about blood color. He'll hit on anybody, and he's rude as fuck to everybody. The real problem with him is that he's terrible to talk to, not that he's discriminatory.

That's the thing about Eridan. Understanding him means looking past the way he presents himself, the lies he tells to himself, and even, at times, the way the narration presents him. His "overblown emotional theatrics" seem a lot less overblown when his problems ARE so real, deep-seated, and constantly causing him an unimaginable amount of anguish.

The problem is, the main people he has to bounce those problems against are Feferi, Vriska, and Kanaya, three of the people most comfortable with their privileged positions, for whom Eridan's genuine emotional distress seems like needless melodrama. Feferi loves being a princess, Vriska enjoys her noble privileges, Kanaya doesn't need to worry about culling. But for Eridan, his noble status, and the duties and expectations placed on him for it, have caused him nothing but pain - of course he would feel like nobody understands. Most of his closest friends genuinely don't, nor do they try to.

Because that's what he is at his core - a traumatized fucking child, who doesn't see any way out. Eridan is not a casteist genocidal sea dweller... he just wishes he was one, and tries to be one, because if he actually was one, he wouldn't feel so awful and scared and sad all the time. He'd be normal, like his friends.

The reason he constantly spouts anti-land dweller rhetoric and uses casteist language is to assuage this cognitive dissonance. That's why he has to come off so strong, present himself in such an aggrandized way, act like such a douchebag. They're his emotional support slurs. He doesn't actually believe what he says, which means he's a Bad Sea Dweller, which means he's Failing, which means Something Bad Will Happen, so he'd better get his ass in line and say something casteist!

And it's all made worse because:

Eridan is Dumb of Ass (and True of Word)

Oh my god you guys he's so stupid that it hurts.

Okay, that's not entirely fair. Eridan is clearly well-educated and book smart; he has some of the most elegant prose out of the trolls, and he's prone to going off on insane rants with it. (Actually, his language gets more flowery and showy when he's trying to impress a stranger, and gets progressively more laid back, chill, and even kind of "bro"-y when he starts talking to people he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.)

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

What I mean is this: his brain is so full of anxiety and cognitive dissonance and murder and death that he struggles to care about other people, which has devastating effects on his social skills. I go really in-depth on how his though process informs his behavior here. The question may have popped up in your mind already: if his casteism stuff isn't actually real, then what is Eridan actually like? The answer is, overwhelmingly, and discomfortingly, SINCERE.

This boy is gunning at 100% emotional earnestness 100% of the time, and it's deeply uncomfortable for others to deal with. He'll swing wildly from insults and derogatory language, to stating a desire to kill all land dwellers, to awe and amazement at his friends' prowess, to demanding that they do things for him, to traumadumping and venting, without missing a beat. Often in the same conversation.

CA: kan its hard GA: What CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

He's also specifically terrible at parsing hostility. Functionally, he interprets all hostility aimed AT him as either pitch/ashen flirting or "ironic repartee," and similarly views his own hostile words as verbal jousting, pitch/ashen advances, or even just factual descriptions of the world around him (ie calling Nepeta a "kittycat shipper cavve girl"). Hostility and aggression are just kind of his baseline, default state of being, and he basically has no ability to differentiate between good and bad attention. I talk more in-depth about his emotionally bereft upbringing (and shitty lusus) here, but suffice to say that our boy isn't getting any emotional support at home, and as a result, craves attention, no matter what kind.

This also means he's insanely gullible. For example, Rose calls him an idiot to his face, and then blows up his computer, sarcastically calling it "your first lesson in showmanship." Eridan proceeds to literally considers it that, blowing up Jade's computer after he's done talking to her. Furthermore, Kanaya sees him as a burden, insults him to his face, and pretty much just bullies him along with Rose for fun.

So she trains Eridan to become a powerful white wizard of hope to challenge her, as a joke.

And yet, in spite of all that, Eridan still has nothing but gratitude and praise for Kanaya:

ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you KANAYA: For What ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help KANAYA: But I Didnt Even Really Train You I Just Made You A Wand ERIDAN: yeah wwell thats all i needed i guess ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic ERIDAN: wwhat KANAYA: The Thing I Just Said KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize How Sarcastic I Was Being Its Starting To Become A Problem I Think KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science

Like, he's in the middle of genuinely thanking her for believing in him, she makes fun of him to his face, and his response is to laugh it off and offer to teach her how to properly insult someone. It's honestly... kind of sad. Not that he doesn't deserve the ridicule, but what we're seeing here is a traumatized, emotionally neglected boy trying to communicate the best that he can that he loves and appreciates his friends, and receiving nothing but mockery in return.

It's really not a surprise, then, that he goes off the deep end. His entire life prior to the game has been shit; he got broken up with as soon as he entered the game (by someone who didn't even care enough not to use fish puns while doing it); he's ostracized and avoided for the game's duration; and then he spends the rest of his time on the meteor being bullied. He feels deeply hopeless and anxious about their situation because he literally doesn't know how else to exist, and his concerns are dismissed and mocked at every turn. When Feferi turns on him with intent to kill, that's his breaking point.

I see a lot of people say he goes grimdark, or succumbs to external influence somehow, but I don't think that needs to be true (nor is it) - he's just a deeply traumatized kid with almost no support network who's finally been pushed to the edge, despite displaying every possible warning sign and making multiple cries for help. Yes, ultimately, he's guilty for his own actions, but his killing spree - alongside Gamzee's and Vriska's - represents a cohesive failure as a team to address very clear problems in their midst.

So Feferi and Kanaya are sick of his ass. Sollux hates him platonically, Equius doesn't like him, and Nepeta thinks of him as a creep. Vriska is his awkward ex, and Terezi agrees with him when he calls himself pathetic. He never interacts with Tavros, Aradia, or sober!Gamzee. Is there anyone that treats him nicely?

Uh, okay, so I swear this isn't shipping goggles -

Pale EriKar Is Canon And I Can Prove It

So, I'm going to start this with a disclaimer: you can ship what you want to ship. I don't mind. I don't care. Headcanons are valid, death of the author, etc. What you do in your free time is up to you.

What I am attempting to argue in this section is that an Eridan/Karkat moirallegiance was heavily foreshadowed, one of the most heavily foreshadowed things in the entire comic, and - assuming that the original ending of Homestuck included all the dead trolls being brought back and redeemed - was going to be endgame. There's a torrential amount of evidence pointing to this, and very little of it is acknowledged even by the EriKar shippers, which is a shame.

At the very least, I'll be happy if I can convince some Karkat RPers to be extra nice to Eridans, because they are actually just friends who care deeply about each other. Canonically.

The first thing to note is that Eridan and Karkat, at least prior to SGRUB, talk all the time, to the point where Feferi feels the need to comment on it:

CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro. CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your dear sweet moirail! CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember. CA: maybe CA: seems kinda CA: odd though

("Can you please stop having an emotional affair with Karkat" "Eh, I'll think about it")

The second thing to note is what the contents of those conversations entail. Sure, they "gossip," but it goes deeper than that, because they gossip about things that Karkat would NEVER gossip about with anybody else, because Karkat usually respects his "VERY GOOD FRIEND"s. For example, here Eridan mentions that Karkat has speculated on Kanaya's love life with him:

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

And it's not even a one-off thing, because here Karkat is again, mentioning Nepeta's crush on him:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK? KARKAT: HER DISINTEREST IN YOUR ADVANCE WASN'T A REFLECTION ON YOU AT ALL. KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

It's a situation he's been trying to "tiptoe around for a long time," and he tells ERIDAN, of all people? MULTIPLE TIMES? (AND HE ALSO TELLS ERIDAN THAT THE REJECTION WASN'T HIS FAULT???? WHAT??????)

So we've established that they talk frequently and about some pretty seriously sensitive topics. But did you know that they also talk about... their feelings?

See, the thing is, Karkat has always been weirdly nice to Eridan. Here he is in a memo near the very beginning of their game, when Karkat is at his most "rah rah, I'm the big bad leader":

FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo. CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.

Compare that to Tavros asking for advice later down in the same memo:

PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME, PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL, PAT: lIKE, PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT, CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES. CCG: ALL OF YOU. CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. PAT: sORRY, CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY. CCG: JUST CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.

He then proceeds to dispense no actual love advice; he just points out that Vriska can totally read this memo too, and then mocks them both when she shows up - thus making it clear that he is giving Eridan special treatment.

You see it again in his discussion with Eridan in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core, where Eridan invokes a "pact" between them, and Karkat immediately plays nice with him, despite himself being extremely high-strung and stressed out:

KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. ERIDAN: i dont fuckin need this from you i take enough shit as it is from the rest a you dirtscrapers i thought you and me had a kinda pact or wwhatevver KARKAT: OK FINE, SHUT UP, I APOLOGIZE. I KNOW IT'S TOUGH BEING YOU.

That's definitely pity, which Karkat states to be the basis of all relationships besides pitch. But, sure, okay, Karkat is sometimes nice to his friends. He is, after all, the Friendship Troll, so that's not necessarily out of the ordinary. But how about the fact that it goes both ways?

That's right, Eridan "100% aggro 100% of the time" Ampora is actually really considerate toward Karkat's feelings, and basically nobody else's. Upon hearing that Karkat is distressed that Sollux has died, Eridan actively puts his own meltdown about his breakup with Feferi on pause:

TC: BeCaUsE OuR GoOd bRo sOlLuX JuSt kIcKeD ThE WiCkEd mOtHeRfUcKiN ShIt CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean by that CA: are you sayin hes dead TC: YeAh :o( CA: oh fuck CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole

He then goes on to chastise Gamzee for his shitty advice, demanding to be given the chance to comfort Karkat himself instead:

TC: BuT I ToLd hIm tO Be cHiLl TC: BeCaUsE ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It CA: that is the wworst fuckin advvice CA: wwhat an awwful thing a you to say CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT TC: i'Ve gOt tO BeLiEvE At wHaT My hEaRt tElLs iN Me, EvEn iF It's a fAkE ThInG TC: HoNk CA: this is a lot a pointless fuckin rubbish and isnt no emotional help to him or me either for that matter CA: put kar on

Before finally giving up when Gamzee insists he's "too scared of Jack" to help, drinking some Faygo, and trying to ask past Karkat for help, because past Karkat isn't sad yet about Sollux dying. So, to recap,

Eridan's first instinct when in emotional duress is to go to Karkat.

Eridan feels like he knows Karkat well enough to know that Gamzee's advice would be useless (and is proven right by the fact that Gamzee and Karkat's moirallegiance fails for similar reasons).

Eridan is willing to shelve his own emotional meltdown for Karkat's sake.

Eridan demands to be the one to provide Karkat with emotional support.

And this is, again, not a one-off thing. In the memo Karkat opens right after Eridan and Gamzee have both turned murderous, after he's spent several minutes making death threats toward Eridan and insulting him directly, he goes:

CCG: I'M SO UPSET, I'M JUST COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. PCA: yeah i knoww wwhat its like you wwanna talk about it

Eridan spends this entire memo under the belief that it's a completely run-of-the-mill conversation they're having:

PCA: i mean yeah obvviously i kneww you wwerent serious PCA: i guess i appreciate the effort youre puttin into cheerin me up PCA: i can alwways count on you for some good ironic repartee kar nobody else really gets our sense a humor CCG: UGH, NO PCA: are you busy PCA: you said youd try to make it to lowwaa soon wwell howw about it

Which implies that offering to listen to Karkat's feelings is also a completely regular thing for them.

But something magical is ALSO happening within this last memo, and to really explain it, I'll first have to be a little mean to the GamKar shippers (sorry).

So, canonically, GamKar doesn't work out for them, despite also being somewhat foreshadowed. In fact, they feature on Nepeta's shipping wall, which is actually, in my opinion, foreshadowing that it WOULDN'T work out. (Nepeta's ships being wrong, and shipping being something she needs to learn to outgrow, is a whole essay on its own, that I'm not getting into here.)

But the thing is, the seeds for them not working out were also planted in the first - and only - real post-moirallegiance interaction that they have with each other, where Gamzee tries to calm Karkat down... and FAILS:

GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o( ... KARKAT: OK KARKAT: OK YEAH KARKAT: I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. KARKAT: NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD RELAX. KARKAT: AND BREATHE. KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT ARE MOIRAILS FOR, RIGHT? KARKAT: THIS IS HOW IT WORKS, I STOP YOU FROM KILLING EVERYBODY, THEN YOU RETURN THE FAVOR AND CALM ME DOWN AND I JUST KARKAT: BREATHE KARKAT: LIKE KARKAT: THIS... KARKAT: SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK, THAT SUN IS BRIGHT. KARKAT: CALL ME CRAZY, BUT IT'S KIND OF HARD TO RELAX WITHIN A STONE'S THROW FROM, OH, I GUESS ONLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING STAR ANY MORTAL HAS EVER LAID EYES ON. ... KARKAT: BUT I MEAN, CAN THIS BE HEALTHY? KARKAT: AREN'T WE GOING TO GET BURNED OR HAVE OUR RETINAS SCORCHED BY LOOKING AT IT? KARKAT: OH GOD I THINK I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.

But let's go back to that memo where Karkat is freaking out in every way possible. This is how he starts that memo - so upset about the deaths of his friends and terrified by Gamzee that he can barely string together a coherent thought:

CCG: WE ARE SO SCREWED. CCG: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. CCG: GUYS, I AM TERRIFIED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CCG: I'M IN A ROOM FULL OF BODIES, AND I THINK I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN MY BACK ON THEM? CCG: OH MY GOD, I JUST HEARD A HONK. ... CCG: FEFERI, I'M SORRY. CCG: IT WAS MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. PCC: Sorry for w)(at?? CCG: FOR CCG: I CCG: I CAN'T DO THIS CCG: IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME, I'M SORRY.

In fact, he's so distressed that he bans Past!Feferi and Past!Gamzee almost immediately after they come in. But then Eridan comes in, and... I mean, first of all, just compare how long it takes for him to ban Eridan:

But more interesting are the contents of their conversation. Over the course of talking to Eridan... Karkat completely calms the fuck down. Like he's entirely forgotten that he's shitting his pants with fear. In fact, he even starts critiquing Eridan for his dumbassery:

PCA: evven if i wwasnt compelled to think you wwere still bein flippant and ironic wwith me you cant exactly outright reject me can you CCG: WHY NOT PCA: cause youre future you PCA: doesnt count unless its present you til then its all fair game CCG: IS THIS REAL, ARE YOU BEING IRONIC OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T EVEN TELL ANYMORE CCG: THE PROBLEM IS, I CAN'T PUT THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR PAST YOU AT ALL, SO I DON'T KNOW. ... CCG: YOU'RE KILLING ANGELS NOW, AREN'T YOU PCA: no CCG: YOU ARE KILLING FUCKING ANGELS, RIGHT NOW, IN THE PAST, WITH YOUR SHITTY GUN. I JUST KNOW IT. PCA: wwell uh PCA: therere just so damn many kar and theyre not gettin any less bloody pissed is the thing CCG: THIS IS WHY IT WOULD NEVER WORK BETWEEN US, MAN.

It's extremely funny. Over the course of talking to Eridan, he goes from:

CCG: OH GOD OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD CCG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

To:

CCG banned PCA from responding to memo. CCG: ANYWAY CCG: THAT'S IT I GUESS.

Eridan isn't even trying to calm Karkat down. He still succeeds in doing so. This is because they are soul mates. And I mean that in the sense that the comic literally calls being moirails soul mates, which it doesn't do for the other quadrants:

A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

That "social purpose" being that an even-tempered troll calms down a more hot-tempered one, and vice versa.

It also goes on to note:

But some pale pairings, as the one above [referring to a picture of Nepeta and Equius], will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

But what's really interesting is the next page.

And yet others will seem to have been hatched for each other.

Did you catch that? Let me zoom in.

(Also, the blue and red cuttlefish to represent Sollux - Feferi and Sollux spend the whole game together, and even wind up talking about their feelings constantly in a pile - more on piles in a sec.)

In fact... in Eridan's first visual appearance...

The crab has always been there for him.

It's also important to talk about the bottle of Faygo that's been photoshopped to be candy red, Karkat's blood color. The path that it takes actually directly mirrors Karkat's relationships with Gamzee and Eridan - it's initially something that Gamzee has, but winds up being ejected out of his life, and washes up on Eridan's shore. In fact:

TC: SnAtCh aN IcEcOlD, dOg TC: MoThErFuCkIn cHuG ThAt sHiT LiKe yOu aNd tHe bOtTlE WaS ReUnItEd lOvErS CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin CA: is that wwhat this is TC: YeAh mAn SlAm A FaYgO CA: i dont havve a fuckin faygo you stupid fuck wwhy wwould i keep that disgusting shit on hand TC: ArE YoU MoThErFuCkIn sUrE AbOuT ThAt? CA: oh CA: oh god youre right i do CA: i totally forgot about it TC: YoU SeE MaN TC: MoThEr TC: FuCkIn TC: MiRaClEs TC: :o)

When Gamzee and Eridan discuss this exact bottle, Gamzee even likens it to "reunited lovers"; it's something that Eridan has had this whole time (after all, he was cheating on Feferi with the guy), but never realized.

There are a few miscellaneous things that don't really mean anything on their own, but put next to all this other stuff, is worth considering, so I'll list those now.

First, they both do the bonk:

Second:

CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF STUFF I SAID. TA: eheheheh you LIITERALLY a2k me that every tiime are you jokiing. TA: ii cant even tell anymore. CG: IT'S A JOKE MORON. CG: HONESTLY I'M JUST GLAD NOBODY ELSE IS PRIVVY TO OUR CONVERSATIONS.

Third, Karkat muses to his future self about how he misses his friends, especially the assholes, two pages before staring at a dead Eridan's ass (joking, he's definitely looking at WV, but it's still significant that this thought is being associated with Eridan):

CCG: I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. CCG: I MISS ALL OF MY DEAD FRIENDS A LOT. CCG: EVEN THE ASSHOLES! I MISS THEM TOO. MAYBE EVEN ESPECIALLY THEM, IN SOME PERVERSE WAY. CCG: AND I SHOULD BE RELIEVED THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO BE HAPPY IN SOME WAY, EVEN IF IT'S BY FLOATING NEBULOUSLY THROUGH DREAM PROJECTIONS WITH THEIR FREAKY BLANK EYES. CCG: AND I GUESS I AM RELIEVED ABOUT THAT. CCG: BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S LEFT ME UNSETTLED.

Fourth, in the same conversation, he bemoans his failed relationship with Terezi, before Future!Karkat chastises Past!Karkat for his instability and mixed signals. Going back to the page on moirallegiances, an explicit function of a proper pale relationship is stabilizing a troll's other relationships:

The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Of course, I don't need to tell you how messy and unstable Eridan's relationships have been.

And finally, Piles of Stuff™ are associated with moirails, and directly stated in-comic to cause an outpouring of emotion:

Standing near this pile stirs powerful emotions. The closer you stand to piles of stuff, the more freely the feelings flow. It is a law of reality.

So here's a seven-word tragedy for you: For Sale, Shitty Wand Pile, Never Used:

ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

(Which he specifically tells Karkat about.)

So, yeah, what I'm saying is, there's just, like, a weirdly large amount to read into here. That Karkat and Eridan are probably soulmates or whatever. And that this is important because...

Eridan Is Plot Relevant (Well All The Dead Trolls Are But This Is An Essay About Eridan)

So. Now we are going to talk about themes. Yes, like we are in schoolfeeding again. I'm going to keep it simple, because "The Themes of Homestuck" is a whole essay on its own, and this one about just the shitty fish boy is already way too long.

I think it's fairly non-controversial to posit that the main theme of Homestuck is, "children should mature, care about each other, and throw off the shackles of their old society, because they will be responsible for a new world one day."

Up until Game Over/the Retcon, this is so prevalent and well-established that SBURB/SGRUB's coming-of-age themes will outright be commented upon by the characters, and the main villain is a child who deliberately stunted his own growth so he could go around kicking over other peoples' toys forevermore.

So, the thing is, with that being the theme of Homestuck, if ALL of the Alternian trolls don't survive to the end, the ending is thematically unsatisfying, because the message suddenly gains an addendum of "well, some kids just need to die," which totally sucks. Like, sure, Eridan was a violent, crazed murderer even at the best of times, but his permanent death within the canon ending kind of means that the comic is saying that people in his position don't deserve kindness or second chances. That position being a traumatized, emotionally neglected child, who was being bullied by people he considered his friends. It's a pretty terrible message.

It's even worse when you consider what other trolls don't make it to the end - Nepeta, the most outspoken troll against the hemospectrum (and Davepeta does NOT count, don't try to tell me the final culmination of Nepeta's character arc is being combined with some guy she barely knows and a bird). Feferi, who genuinely wanted the best for others, even if she was kind of a privileged princess. Aradia and Sollux also stay behind in the bubbles, even though their lives have pretty much been endless parades of suffering and being used by other people. Even Equius doesn't deserve it - he was kind of a casteist freak, but not irredeemably so, and the fact that he became kinder to Karkat over the course of SGRUB proved that he had the capacity to change. And Tavros, allergic to himself and being insulted by Vriska, is a terrible way to end his arc.

It's also really clear that, since half his friends are dead, Karkat just doesn't really have anything to do. His title is the Knight of Blood, and Blood is about bonds - romance, friendship. And yet, he ends the comic having never figured out what Blood was about, with no confirmed filled quadrants (sorry DaveKat likers, but within the comic itself, DaveKat is never confirmed), and most of his bonds nothing more than ghosts in the bubbles. It's a terribly unsatisfying ending for the most narratively important troll.

I think, then, that even if you don't agree that Homestuck should have ended with full revivals and redemption arcs for all the trolls, the essay is going to proceed on like you do, so, sorry, I guess.

The thing with Eridan, specifically, is that he's actually tied deeply into the plot and themes, and his return means more than just Karkat finally getting a date (although that's important, too). Eridan is directly intertwined with a prophecy to kill Lord English; he's set up to mirror Caliborn and Calliope; and thematically, his redemption would be the most clear instance of the "interrogating society" part of the theme of Homestuck, because Eridan is kind of the Society Troll. And also, he was definitely supposed to be Roxy's wizard boyfriend.

Just gonna get that last one out of the way real quick because it's a fast one, Roxy fucking loves wizards and is a hipster. Eridan is a wizard and is also a hipster. Roxy has a crush on a prince. Eridan is also a prince. Roxy wears a purple striped scarf. Eridan wears a blue striped scarf. Roxy uses rifles. Eridan uses rifles. Momlonde's introduction includes a passive-aggressive fridge battle that features a cameo of Eridan's quirk.

Using the colorful MAGNET LETTERS, you recently left a succinct message, which may or may not have been directed toward anyone in particular. But you couldn't find the letter W, so you just stuck two V's together. Your mother then purchased a fresh pack of W's and left them there for your convenience.

Yeah. So. Uh. Not only did Eridan need to be brought back to date Karkat pale, but he also needed to be brought back to date Roxy flushed. Can you imagine how funny it would be. They'd get together within 5 minutes of meeting for the first time and Rose would lose her shit. Anyway.

Him being a parallel to Calliope and Caliborn is also a quick one - Caliborn uses Riflekind/Sceptrekind, and Calliope uses Pistolkind/Wandkind. Eridan's two weapons are rifles and wands. Lord English is described as an evil wizard and at one point is shown using Calliope's wand. Eridan is also an evil wizard who uses a wand.

Look, I'm not saying that Eridan is necessarily directly related to these two, nor am I even necessarily saying that he and Roxy HAVE to date, but I am saying that he's got Weird Plot Connections that make him bizarrely relevant to characters that only come into play well after his death - almost like the comic was setting up that he would be coming back. His reaction to Cronus supports this, which I go into detail about here.

There's other strange "Eridan's plot important" things, too - like the fact that he's completely unimpressed by Faygo, considering it to be "just soda," and seems to be the only non-cultist who's okay with it. Or the fact that he's actually been awake on Derse since before the game (but unable to hear the horrorterrors, maybe foreshadowing some psychic resistance?) which he casually reveals to Kanaya and which Terezi is aware of, hence he's included in the people she names are "in" on the existence of the game. Or the fact that the genetic code for Alternia's first guardian was written within the pages of four FLARP books, with the addition of a fifth code Gamzee wrote in Karkat's ~ATH book... but Eridan was the fifth FLARP player in the team, implying that Doc Scratch/LE influencing Gamzee caused him to usurp Eridan's part of the first guardian code, giving LE his way into the trolls' universe.

Individually, it's all kind of nothing, but it just paints a bigger picture of Eridan being weirdly relevant, especially when we get to the juicy stuff:

The Prophecy

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. ... [T]his magician once somehow from afar tried to strike him down at a young age, so he would never have to face him. 8ut the evil spell was deflected, sealing the magician's spirit away in a series of unassuming vessels until he could find some other cunning way to enter our universe. ... ARANEA: 8ut at some point he 8ecame disillusioned with magic. If there ever was any truth to his far fetched vision, the legacy of defeating the evil magician would have to 8e passed on to his descendant, or if his descendant proved to 8e as much of a failure as he did, then perhaps on to some other Hero of Hope.

ERIDAN: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophecized

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing GG: umm yes ... CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be ... CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

Jake is supposed to have been the one to defeat Lord English. (No, Jake defeating pre-LE Caliborn right before he gets sealed into Cal doesn't count! He doesn't even get the final blow in that fight, DIRK does.)

But Eridan at one point had that destiny on his shoulders. Aranea turbohealing Jake, and the resultant hope field, summons a bunch of angels, which are heavily associated with Eridan - yet another random connection that Eridan has with future plot events.

Jake was another character, alongside Karkat, who was kind of reduced to a joke by the end, despite the fact that he had literally, directly, been passed the destiny of defeating Lord English. It's hard not to see this as a consequence, at least in part, of removing Eridan from the story. By cutting him out of the fabric of the ending, several plot threads - including this prophecy - are left dangling in irrelevance. And so Jake, like Karkat, now has nothing to do.

Homestuck is generally a series where every prophecy does come true, which makes it kind of startling when several prophecies fail to - Feferi's to "unite the two races," Jake's to defeat Lord English, and Karkat's to bring "compassion, forgiveness, and equality among all bloodlines" in the Signless's place.

That last one is actually relevant to:

The Thematic Importance of EriKar As Soul Mates

Eridan represents the worst aspects of Alternian society. He's a sea dweller at the top of the caste structure, with free reign to murder whoever he wants, soaked in the blood of thousands of innocent trolls. He espouses the casteist rhetoric that their society is built on, calling for the deaths of all land dwellers and the oppression of the lower castes. And while he should be benefitting from his position of privilege, it has also done nothing but hurt him.

Karkat, meanwhile, is a pariah. A mutant who would've been culled on sight, who spent his entire life living in hiding, and most of the game in fear that he would be ostracized or worse by the rest of his friends if they found out about his blood color. He's also the second coming of Troll Jesus, and thus, more despised by the Alternian ruling class than a mutant normally would be. For most of his life, he dreamed of nothing more than finding belonging within the society that had deemed him unfit.

Their friendship is something that "should not be." The highblood and the mutant. The royal-v and the off-spectrum. The empress's sea dweller and the second coming of the signless. Eridan "should" see Karkat as a miscreant to cull on sight. Karkat "should" be terrified of Eridan's very existence.

But in reality, Eridan doesn't give a shit about blood color, and Karkat just wants to be accepted. Eridan just wants someone to care about him, and Karkat loves his friends. Aside from Feferi, Eridan is the only highblood who never comments about Karkat's mutant blood, and they were best buddies even before Eridan knew.

Eridan and Karkat getting together isn't JUST the two most undateable trolls on the team finally landing a stable quadrant. These two, moreso than any other pairing, represent the themes of Homestuck. Children growing up, caring about each other, and throwing off the shackles of their old society.

In the pre-retcon timeline, their team failed to do so. This led to Gamzee falling into his highblood clown cult, Equius letting himself and Nepeta die by submitting to his place in the hemospectrum, Vriska killing Tavros because she couldn't allow herself to show weakness, and Eridan completing his caste's dream of genocide. Karkat spent the entire meteor trip and beyond beating himself up about it, since he considered it all to be his fault.

But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, they have the chance to, one by one, redeem themselves. I believe that's how the original ending would have gone: Terezi would ask John to bring Vriska back, because she only feels comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Vriska would then have asked John to bring back Tavros, whom she regretted killing. Tavros would be there for Gamzee, rendering him an ally. Gamzee would ask John to bring back Equius and Nepeta. Equius would ask John to help him not make the same mistakes with Aradia, and Aradiabot would catch John by the wrist and demand he bring her back in time to before she died, allowing her to circumvent her own death and Sollux's guilt. Sollux would ask John to keep him from provoking Eridan, saving Feferi. And Feferi would be pretty ok with the way things were... but KARKAT would then pull John aside, and drop an entire book of mistakes he made on John's lap, and this would result in a finalized timeline where all his friends are alive and god-tiered.

Because all the trolls SHOULD have survived.

Vriska should've survived because people should be allowed to have second chances.

Tavros should've survived because caring about each other, and being willing to show kindness and mercy, are good things.

Gamzee should have survived because people mired in religious fundamentalism and cults deserve to be offered a helping hand.

Equius should've survived because people should be allowed to grow and change their beliefs.

Nepeta should've survived because she was the anti-casteism troll. Casteism is bad, folks! Not only that, but I'm convinced that she was originally going to give the Ultimate Self exposition, and Davepetasprite^2 had to be contrived in the canon ending in order to shortcut Nepeta's character development, ruining it in the process.

Aradia should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team and live a life free of the control of evil uncles and shitty ancestors.

Sollux should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team because we all deserve to heal and be happy.

Feferi should've survived so she could be in a kismesistude with Nepeta, and realize that casteism itself is bad, not just the definition of culling, and then used her Witch of Life powers to even out the lifespans between the next generation of trolls, which needs to happen or else casteism will just happen again as long-lived highbloods inevitably amass power. And, also, it would complete the prophecy Gl'bgolyb gave her that she was intended to unite the two races (dream bubbles don't count, because by that metric, Sollux did more than she did by establishing a connection between the trolls and humans).

And Eridan should've survived, because the harm society has done to us can be undone. We don't have to submit to the roles it imposes, to the laws it wrote, to the abuse it inflicted. We can be free.

I've seen a lot of people who believe that such-and-such character did SUCH awful things that they don't deserve a happy ending. Oftentimes, it's Eridan, but nearly all of the dead trolls have gotten this treatment. So, let me just ask all of you who have gotten this far and still hold that opinion one thing. Do you think that's what Troll Jesus would have wanted?

This is why pale EriKar is so important: for it to happen, Eridan has to make a choice between upholding the beliefs of his shitty society, or pursuing a happier, kinder future, one where he outright rejects the caste system. For it to happen, Karkat has to shake all his insecurities about not being good enough by Alternian standards, and take on the duty of creating something better than what he came from. If pale EriKar happens, it means Eridan and Karkat choose love, not fear. Compassion, forgiveness, and equality.

This choice - this pairing - is the ultimate representation of giving Alternian society one big middle finger. Saying, we don't need you anymore, fuck off! Saying, we reject you at your core; we will choose something better! Saying, we will create a new world, and it will be kinder than the one we came from!

Pale EriKar means LOVE WINS.

Thank you for reading.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #karkat vantas #erikar #im also going to tag all the other trolls that feature because yeah.#vriska serket #feferi peixes #nepeta leijon #equius zahhak #gamzee makara #kanaya maryam

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riverofrainbows · 3 months ago

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Eliot Spencer. Listen to me i am obsessed with the man. He is so incredibly stereotypically masculine, and hardcore so, yet at the same time really isn't in ways that would be damning for the 2000s and early 2010s. Long hair, not unusually tall, the most emotionally aware one and most in tune with his emotions on the whole team. (Not that the others don't also have points in that area, but they're all terrible at it in some way and Eliot scores by far the most points.) He has a hobby that's not James Bond like (cooking), and he gets to be goofy while being unquestioned as the most badass guy in the room. And yes he makes inappropriate jokes about lesbians and goes all no homo at physical affection from other men, and younger people probably don't find him quite as monumental as i do in terms of masculinity. But his behaviour never reflects those jokes or the no homo, and he was the red blooded american former military guy character on a big network tv show in the year 2009. For which he was a severely mild case. He treats the other characters as people and not stereotypes, in the way the whole show does, and he has long hair he puts up in ponytails and half buns that have his side bangs falling out (you need to understand what big of a deal the manbun was in like 2013, so much so that they had to invent a word). He's emotional and doesn't actually mean his gruffness most of the time, and doesn't thinks himself above certain tasks or people. He wears ridiculous little outfits without putting up a show about his threatened masculinity, and he's the most emotionally intelligent one outside of cons. He wears little jewellery in his hair sometimes, and little braids even (yes braided hair was a no go), he plays guitar and sings earnest love songs not just to try to get laid (love songs would only be permissible in the immediate context of romance), and whenever they have a young woman as a client, that reminds him of home i presume, he works with so much effort and respect for them as the one he's in service to, and respects their opinion strongly. He wears glasses, and reads books and is way too nerdy for an action hero type of the 2010s. He is great with kids, and unironically so (there were multiple big shows and movies about the topic of "men needing to deal with children on their own" with the entire premise of that being ridiculous and them being naturally bad at it). He's the most stereotypically action hero type masculine guy on the show, and he does get strive or posture for power or dominance in their team, is content with a contributing role and trusting on the expertise of the others, and he is not portrayed as the most valuable one or as that behaviour being beneath him. He undresses so he and the woman he's fighting with are on equal ground reading undress. He is shorter than the others and continuously portrayed as the most dangerous one in any room, and height differences afe never deemphasised via cinematography (seriously, to be regarded as sufficiently masculine in western films they either get really tall actors or employ a variety of camera angles and boxes to give that impression. But just think of Eliot in the pilot when rescuing Hardison in the first break in, standing behind the group of security guys who all look way taller than him and more physically impressive with weapons and all. And then Eliot just in a t-shirt with no weapon but himself.) He has long hair (again, mainstream sufficiently masculine guys didn't do that back then, or now if we think of it (not that long at least)).

The show and all it's characters were a goddamn marvel back in 2009, and sadly in many ways still are today, 15 years later.

And he heals my little broken heart regarding gender stereotypes and masculinity, my heart that grew up in the 2000s and has so much difficulty accepting that my gender is valid. Bless him for it.

#own post #eliot spencer #leverage #trans man #i seriously wouldn't wish the rigid gender roles of back then on anyone #like the saying goes they would call you gay and revoke your masculinity card if you used lotion on cracked skin #not that it isn't often an issue today still

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gatorbites-imagines · 6 months ago

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Ohh my gosh i just saw you take jjk requests.. could i please ask for some sweet cuddly headcanons or a scenario of heian era/true form Sukuna x small-ish but chubby ftm reader?

Oh also im sorry if its weird but i uhhh i headcanon Sukuna was kinda chubby himself during that time if you could include that somehow.. i dunno its just i love soft squishy men cause i am one okay thank you bye

Heian era/true form Ryomen Sukuna x chubby ftm reader

Headcanons

Cheering and jumping up and down whenever I get jjk requests. Im such a sucker for true form Sukuna. Sukuna nation. Sukuna is also around 8 ft in this, cuz I love me some size difference.

No one would suspect Sukuna of all people to be sweet or even cuddly, and no one gets to see it, except for you and maybe Uraume.

Theres nothing your big lug of a lover likes more than to lay his head in your lap after a meal, which was probably people knowing him, and having you play with his head or just caress his face.

Living on a regular diet of human would also mean that Sukuna has more meat on his bones in this era than he does in the 2000s when he wakes up again. Think like bulking and cutting when it comes to wrestling.

It would most likely also be a result of dating Sukuna that allowed you to get chubby as well, since this was during the Heian era, where one couldn’t as easily get their hands on enough food to get chubby unless they were very rich.

But if you already were chubby, then that was more than likely what caught Sukunas attention first. Maybe he thought you looked extra delicious to snack on, or you thought it was sexy, since he doesn’t get to see chubby people on the regular, at least not ones that are actually attractive like you.

Sukuna would enjoy you being softer too, since it means he can lay his big ol head on your torso or on your thighs, or that he can squeeze your body with his big hands.

Expect him to nip at you, anywhere on your body really, and rumble about how you are good enough to eat. You know he wouldn’t actually eat you, but he likes to threaten it. and it comes more across as flirting instead of threatening at the end of the day.

When it comes to being trans. Sukuna couldn’t honestly care less. Hes got Uraume around, what makes you think he cares how you present yourself or see yourself.

Sukuna would use it as an excuse to kill more people though, since anybody disrespecting you or people like you deserve to die in his book. Aint nobody gonna disrespect Sukuna, the king of curses, lover like that.

Would hunt down anybody who might have hurt you in the past, no questions asked. They wouldn’t stand a chance against your bear of a man, curse?

If you wanted top or bottom surgery, or even testosterone, he would find a way. They didn’t have treatment like we do now, but if anybody would be able to find a way it would be Sukuna, even if it means torturing sorcerers or curses to get it.

You can also dress however you want around Sukuna. Hes one of those “dress however you want babe, I can fight” guys. Sukuna himself also wears a woman’s kimono, so I don’t think he really sees gender in clothes the same way as sorcerers or humans might.

And if you feel insecure of dysphoric about your body, Sukuna might not be the best at comforting with words. But hed find ways to show he is there for you, be it pulling you into his lap, or just lingering around whenever he’s around. Would also order Uraume to make sure you are happy and have everything you need.

Speaking of pulling you into his lap. Sukuna loves the size difference between you. It isn’t hard to be smaller than Sukuna, but you being small-ish means he can easily have you straddling one of his thighs, the lower pair of his arms wrapped around your waist, and the upper pair doing something else.

Expect to be licked by his stomach mouth on the regular when this happens, or when you guys are cuddling. If not licked, then expect your back to be kissed when no one is looking, or nobody can see.

Sukuna would find It funny if it made you blush or turn to look at him over your shoulder whenever he does it. He just raises his brow like “what?” whenever you try to call him out on it, always saying you must be making things up.

The stomach mouth always ends up licking your hands when you guys are cuddling and you’re petting his stomach. When you complain about it, he just says it’s not that bad, and offers to let you lick his hands too, you’ll have to do it four times though, you guys gotta be equal right?

Sukuna doesn’t really focus on the fact that hes on the chubby side himself, but hes different compared to you. For Sukuna imagine those big weight lifters that have a thick layer of fat on their bodies because of all the calories they need, that’s how I imagine Sukuna.

He does a lot of fighting and a lot of eating and training, so him being chubby buff would make sense. He isn’t someone to feel insecure, but he would preen like a peacock if you gushed about how hot he was.

Sukuna likes to eat, that’s no secret. But he doesn’t just like to eat people, but treats too. So, you guys will have many times where you lay on top of his chest or beside him on one of his arms, the two of you sharing something sweet.

He expects you to feed him, sorry but he does. He makes up for it by playing with your hair with one of his hands in the meantime, so I guess it’s fair.

Yes, he also expects you to feed the stomach mouth, is that even a question?

He likes cuddling in the sun with a nice comfortable breeze going. Imagine him laying sprawled out on his kimono, you laying on top of him or beside him, the shutters to the room open, just enough wind and sun to make it comfortable.

Sukuna doesn’t snore, but he rumbles sometimes, kind of like a big tiger or maybe a lion. He also denies doing it, but you’ve caught him multiple times. It gets extra loud if you pet his chest or face.

You always gotta be careful cuddling with Sukuna though, since he might roll over in his sleep and roll on top of you, and you’ll feel like a pancake. Hes got all that bulk weighing down on you, knocking all the air outta you, but he makes a great weighted blanket.

Your lover also doesn’t like to be woken up, but when its you its not as bad. Best bet is to wake him up with kisses, he doesn’t seem to mind them that much. Sukuna does grumble and complain a little, but its not hard to sense that he doesn’t really mean it.

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thats-godscomma · 1 year ago

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Since rewatching Psych, I've been thinking about how weird and arbitrary Shawn's interests are. Sure, late 2000's writing had something to do with it, and maybe a bit of Henry and Gus's influence, but hearing Shawn be so vocal about how he hates certain popular things or (more importantly) refuses to give them a chance BUT at the same time knowing so many pop culture references, it got me thinking.

What if the reason Shawn has so many pop culture references on hand is because of his eidetic memory, and he doesn't actually have as much of an interest in pop culture? Throughout the show, he actively avoids getting roped into big interests and franchises (see: comic books, soap operas, etc.) despite the fact that he genuinely seems excited once he's part of it. In fact, we don't get to see a lot of Shawn's interests at all unless it's based on an idea.

Take being a bounty hunter, for example. According to him, he's obsessed with the idea, but he doesn't make many references to an actual bounty hunter show or franchise. Instead, he just remembers the one bounty hunter he saw as a child and maybe references a movie or two. Because once he remembers something, he's never going to forget it, or at least not for a very long time.

That's why he thinks in references. Everything is a reference if you have a good enough memory. Everything reminds you of something. If Shawn hears someone make a Spock reference, it's in his repertoire forever. But he wouldn't be caught dead watching the shows or movies because that's just too much information. Why on earth would he endure that?

Of course, it also intertwines with his ADHD. He has bouts of energy and trouble focusing. He can't sit still to save his life, and he hyperfixates...or he would if his memory didn't make him averse to it. So if he doesn't want to hyperfixate on an information-based interest, then what does he hyperfixate on? Physical activities. Instead of learning about his favorite daredevil, he tries to be one himself. When he learns about oil rigs, he doesn't get a book from the library. He tries to find oil in his backyard.

This is also where he and Henry differ regarding Shawn's "potential." Henry is correct when he talks about Shawn's "wasted" potential, but he doesn't understand the toil of having this eidetic memory and ADHD. Here's what I think happened: Henry probably noticed Shawn's stellar memory at a young age, realized he has a gift, spoke with his wife about her eidetic memory, learned that you need to challenge your child's eidetic memory at a young age or it'll go away, started the hat game to make it fun and exciting, but then Shawn's ADHD appeared. Suddenly, it made him much harder to raise (because let's be real, Shawn was not an easy child.) Henry didn't know what he was doing anymore, and since it was the 80's, he didn't have the resources to properly understand his kid's behavior, so he tried to find a common interest, and started training Shawn to be a detective "because kids love cop shows." But Shawn struggled to stay attached to one single interest, and when he grew up, he stopped trying to articulate his problems because his mom (the only person who remotely understood his struggles) left, and he blamed his dad for it.

And academics? Those are a joke because what is the point of studying if he already remembers everything? Until, of course, he needs to apply it to a problem-solving test or writing an essay. Suddenly, he's memorizing a math teacher's answer sheet and copying Gus's report.

Yes, Shawn could have been a great cop. He could be an amazing scientist or anything really. He could have been a national spelling bee champion like Gus wanted to be. Even 15 years later, Shawn remembered exactly what word Gus messed up, how to spell the word, and what letter he made Gus slip up, but he didn't want to be on that stage with Gus because that requires so much learning. And so much time. And so much memorizing. And he refuses to sit still for that long when he knows that overloading his head is going to give him migraines.

Also his "I've heard it both ways" probably comes from the fact that people with eidetic memory can still make lots of mistakes if they don't actively commit something to memory. If Shawn only overhears something, he'll still naturally try to fill in the gaps like everyone else, but because he's so confident in his memory, he just believes what he remembers to be true, leading him to repeat incorrect information with confidence. That could also be why some of his references are incorrect due to mixed-up homophones.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how Shawn is just a walking movie reference because his memory won't let him forget quotes, but then I fell into a rabbit hole of the negative effects of having an eidetic memory as a child, and I am very passionate about how Henry actually tried his best, and people need to stop calling him a horrible parent. Love y'all. Let me know what you think.

#i just care a lot about the real-life consequences of having an eidetic memory combined with ADHD #psych #psych tv #psych usa #shawn spencer #henry spencer #burton guster #eidetic memory #long post

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mikodrawnnarratives · 4 months ago

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Have some art + fic rn cuz i had this idea plaguing me for a whlie in my first playthrough of the game and i needed to have it realized.

I don't want to edit my writing just yet so i'll do that later, but for now have some mentally unstable Siffrin 👍

I'll come up with a title ltr, prob when i edit this and post to ao3 (so if this gets reblogs just check out the og post for latest ver.)

For now the warnings you should know of are just character death, lots of Siff hating himself, and i think suicide ideation? I wrote this a few hours ago n still don't want to go back just yet but basically its nothing that doesn't already exist in the game

Fic starts under the cut! Roughly 2000 words

(edit: i forgor some colors don't exist/can't be seen 🤡, fixed now!)

Siffrin can’t seem to fall asleep at all anymore. The night right before the loops he can only pretend to get some rest before facing the king. He isn’t quite sure what the reason is. Being stuck in one place for too long? Useless? His urges to reach out for Isa’s touch that keep him awake at night, yearning for connection that is immediately are followed by disgust in himself? The pure exhaustion at the thought of repeating the next day again? None seem to be the answer. Maybe its a combination.

He only knows that he’s exhausted. Exhausted, yet unable to rest. Even if he were able, would he want to risk what ever dream or nightmare his head might concoct? A blend of memories and deaths to remind him that he can’t escape?

Not being able to sleep makes them worse at the loops too unfortunately. They got along fine for the first few loops after his first sleepless night, though the mistakes ramped up. They cursed their body, cursed themself for being so weak. Simple and stupid mistakes getting them killed via boulder when they forgot and slip of the hand resulting in the weakest of Sadnesses offing him.

Loop of course taunted about his failures, like they always do. He couldn’t fully blame them, knowing deep down he deserved it. There was a pull he sometimes had though, to rest with them, even for just a little bit. He’s hung out with them before, when it gets overwhelming, never for very long. Despite that, to actually sleep with them is a different story. Different vulnerability that, he wasn’t comfortable with. Too weak, he didn’t need another thing for Loop to tease him about. No matter how tempting it would be to sit in the tree and doze off. He wouldn’t doubt that, if he could rest at this point, he would doze off until the next loop.

He can’t have that. He can’t let his family die again.

The next loop began, the stage set, and Siff opened his eye, despite every ache in their body telling them not too. They can’t listen to their body right now though. They need to travel the entire house in the next few loops for anything he might have missed before. One more sweep.

He carries out his lines, plays the role he’s meant, rehearsing the other actor’s lines in his head before they speak up. Familiar steps, expressions, directions. When they get to Isabeau, they slip up again, Isa’s concern blooms. But they’ve seen this before. It’ll be fine. Their gut twists at forcing Isa to be concerned, but theres a warmth in it too. That Isa cares. Cares about them. It’s strange, when Odile gets close to the truth, stars when she FINDS OUT the truth, there isn’t any warmth. Just, fear. But knowing Isa won’t find out, just cares and makes them promise to talk about it at a time they know won’t come, it’s a guilty pleasure. At least, for now. Before it becomes meshed with all the other lines Siffrin has come to expect from The Fighter.

While navigation the House like normal, they slip up occasionally, interacting with objects that spark Odile’s concern. They don’t bother reversing the mistakes, he hasn’t slipped up that much. There’s no way she could know. Siff crumbled on the first floor at the counter they jabbed themself into again. Unable to see it and always stupidly forgetting to be cautious there. Stupid.

And they kept making mistakes. Their exhaustion pulling at their body, their nerves eating them alive. There’s no warmth with new lines of concern from their actors. Just spikes of panic followed by their attempts to reassure them. To continue on.

By the final snack stop before the King, their actor’s change the script again. Siffrin tensed, their hand tracing the handle of their dagger in case of emergency. Odile… odile doesn’t call out suspicious connections to time craft this time. Everyone just.. Just asks him to nap.

The third floor they had fumbled the most, their quick grabs at the keys became more clumsy against his will. His hands can’t stop shaking. The aches won’t cease their whining in his body. Change, of course they noticed, they aren’t blind. The script is similar, repeating the words that simultaneously warm his body and send nausea through it. They’re a family. They care.

Absently, Siffrin notes Mira’s asking him if he’ll accept a comb, again. At least that’s familiar. At least one of them new the script to stick to. And, he really wouldn’t mind it again. The loops reset his hair back to the tangled and knotted mess it was when he startled back to awareness in Dormont. Everytime. Sometimes they briefly wondered if Mirabelle would comb their hair out back in town too. They would never ask though.

Their family quietly chated as Mirabelle combed through his hair. Gently, dare they think lovingly. Careful not to hurt him. Like he’s fragile and weak. Pathetic. They are pathetic aren’t they. For wanting this. Selfish for forcing them. Their hands continued to tremble, as much as Siff tried to suppress it.

The Fighter changes the script first. First to notice. Notice a slip up. They tense, not for any particular reason just, they don’t know this script. The Fighter’s face is concerned but softens. Isa. Isa asked hesitantly it he could see their hands. Siff let him, letting their pathetic shaking hands be engulfed in Isa’s large ones. He hesitantly rubs their knuckles, Mira continues to brush the tangles out of their hair. Siff’s eyelid got heavier, their body screaming to just let go, just relax. They haven’t reached the king yet, the head housemaid, they can’t yet.

When they heard Odile close her book, another off script action, they jolted up and looked her way. Odile was about to speak up, but hesitated at their startled form. Her concerned and piercing expression remained.

“Siffrin, did you get any rest at all last night?”

They stop and meekly speak up, “I slept..”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Siffrin grimaced, tensing up. “I got.. Some rest. Why do you ask?”

“The fumbling around and absent performance don’t suggest you did.”

She had them there. Their fingers twitch as they internally remind themselves their dagger is still on their person. Even if their hands are occupied with being held by Isa’s. They take a breath.

The other actors contribute, sharing their nerves about facing the King. Needing to be ready before confronting the Threat, that could be their final standing place. No. No they won’t fail. They won’t die here. He might, but he won’t let his family.

Odile is actually the first to suggest Siffrin rest before they face the King. They can’t have any weak links before such a moment. Weak members. Weak. They were clumsy this loop. Their other family members share in the sentiment. They probably think he’s weak too. Their concerned smiles are hard to say no to though. The aches and exhaustion overwhelming his body probably wouldn’t let him refuse such an opportunity either. Surely. Surely they went through the first couple floors quick enough that another fifteen minutes before the king wouldn’t be too long. Right?

It’s a thought that didn’t seem to cross his family member’s faces when he gave into their requests and laid down. Mira scooted over, getting started on the next clump of tangled hair. Isa offered his lap as a pillow, and Siffrin’s slow mind just. Accepts the request. Not noting the dark shade flooding The Fighter’s face as they dragged their body to his lap, their head and partial upper body relaxing immediately. They rest their head on their blind side, one hand interlaced with The Fighter’s, behind them Mira finishing off the last of their tangles. The concern from their family’s faces hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s eased. And that is enough to release the remaining tension in his body. It’s enough.

Their family makes a few jokes that their brain muffles. Some laughing. Bonnie’s working on their snacks in the corner, still. They’ll be ready when they wake up. Their legs adjusted and placed in someone else’s lap, they think. Whoever it was, rubs circles into their calf. His eyelid grows heavier, their breathes come easy. Deep breaths. Someone rubs their back.

It’s nice. Really.. really nice. One could easily forget they were even about to face the King at all. Face the end. They close their eyelid. It’s warm. One breath in. And out. Just.. just a quick nap. Where they are loved. They.. they are loved right? This is what this means… at least right now…

Yeah. They hope this is right.

Sleep engulfs them for the first time in several loops and their breaths slow.

The chatting continues around him, not lacking some glances exchanged between the adults in the room. But mostly, just relief fills the air. Mira stayed by Siffrin’s side, threading her fingers through his now completely combed out hair. The flush in Isabeau’s cheeks still hadn’t fully left, every movement reminding him of his crush resting so peacefully in his lap. Like a sleeping cat that once it has claimed you as it’s cushion, you are bound by the universe to not move for any reason. Odile didn’t pass up the opportunity to tease him, met with Isa’s shushing and hushed whisper “what if he wakes up and hears you!!”

Siff had done a lot today, and everyone would have assumed he was completely calm about fighting the king if not for his uncharacteristic clumsiness. Mirabelle supposed it made sense though. A night of rough sleep right before facing the most dangerous threat facing the country? That would make anyone mess up.

After another twenty minutes, Bonnie comes over with the freshly prepared snacks. Made extra special since they were more ahead of schedule than expected. Last hurrah before the king, everyone needed to be at their best.

Mirabelle smiles, heading over to were Bonnie had announced the snacks. Isa attempts to move but flounders at the idea of moving Siff. Mirabelle giggles at his flushing face as Odile moves their legs out of their lap. Well, time to end their nap she supposes. Their sleepy family member probably won’t be too thrilled about waking up but it is snack time.

Mirabelle collects her choice of snack and crouches over to Siff, moving their hat from where it had obscured their resting expression. Isa looked both upset to have the time his crush sleeps on their lap come to an end, and relieved. He lets out a chuckle as Mira gently shakes their shoulder.

“Time to wake up, Siffrin! Bonnie has snacks for everyone.” Mira moves a few hairs out of their face. “Siffrin?”

Isabeau adjusts, and joins in. “Siff? Sorry to wake you bud but..” He pauses, seeing Mirabelle’s face shift. Odile’s gaze sharpens as Mirabelle’s leans over them, placing her ear to their chest.

“They- th-they aren’t” Mira cries out. “They aren’t breathing! No no no-”

Isabeau moves Siffrin off his lap with shaking hands. Odile rushes over to their side, checking their wrist and neck for a pulse. Bonnie’s face crumbles in the corner, alarm replacing the happy air.

Isabeau shakes Siffrin’s still body, Mirabelle readies a heal craft as Odile begins to try resuscitating them.

but

the

world

goes

blank

Siffrin first feels the gentle breeze around them. The grass moving in tune, sometimes brushing up against the small areas their clothes don’t cover. They hear Mirabelle in the distance and when they open their eyes, she’s right above them, apologetic for waking them. Siffrin blinks. It’s been a while since Mira’s been the one to wake them up.

“Good morning! Well, more like good afternoon, I gue- wow. Are you okay?”

That’s new. Why would her lines-

“You’re crying.. Is something wrong, Siffrin?”

He blinks and brings a hand to his face. Sure enough, his cheek is stained with tears. He doesn’t remember crying, he just woke up too. From..

“Must’ve happened in my sleep” He says absently.

Mira frowns, “Oh no! What did you dream about…?”

Siffrin shrugs and repeats lines he remembers that will reassure her the quickest. She sighs and returns back to town. They’ll be waiting for him.

He takes a moment to think about what happened in the last loop. He.. doesn’t remember dying. Must have been when he went to sleep. That. That probably should worry him, that falling asleep could end a loop, but he doesn’t feel any regret about it. Actually, it’d be nice if all his loops ended like that. Just, dying with his loved ones around. It would take too long though, even if it could happen again. This loop needs to be faster. Last loop they didn’t even reach the king, and they have questions.

He grumbles as he sits up, a part of him yearning to go back to that warmth. Oh if only the universe could have let it be permanent. A permanent death that didn’t even hurt. That’s wishful thinking though, the universe isn’t so kind. And they have work to do, his family- actors. They need what he knows. He can’t rest forever yet.

The show must go on.

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stxrslut · 4 days ago

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THE SLEEPOVER ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

summary; during a lovely sleepover with your best friend sarah cameron, you admit to never once having orgasmed before, the confession makes your best friend feel ever so guilty, she feels simply obligated to show her innocent best friend how to please herself right now.

content; pillow humping, fingering, guided masturbation, innocent!reader

this evening has been ever so lovely, just like every evening on which you’ve slept over at your best friend sarah’s house. you’re always taken care of so well there.

right now you’re sitting up on her bed with her, all tucked in while you both watch some neon pink 2000s chick flick on the tv. although not much attention is being paid, you’re both too absorbed in a happy conversation.

you’re all about oversharing with sarah, you do it all the time. she’s does it with you too, in fact she’s doing it right now, going off on a rant about some stupid guy who tried to come on to her at the country club.

“and I considered it just for the sex, y’know, because I haven’t had a good orgasm in weeks,” she stresses the last word with wide eyes, leaning a little closer to you before continuing, “but I decided I couldn’t be bothered to deal with him. I can just make myself feel good after all.”

you tilt your head, nodding along, “that makes sense.” of course you have not a clue about it. you’ve never had sex, or even pleasured yourself for that matter. it has just never been something that had occurred to you to do. “do you.. do that a lot?” you ask, you know she won’t be opposed to it.

“not more than it’s normal to,” she shrugs, leaning back, “I mean you do it right?” her question is intended to be pretty rhetorical but she notices immediately when you react unexpectedly.

you look down, “I don’t— I- I haven’t..” self consciousness washes over you for a second. even though you know that it’s not oversharing in her eyes, it’s still a little embarrassing to admit.

she looks shocked to say the least, her mouth falling slightly open before she can stop herself and regulate her reaction. “like.. never?”

you shake your head, “no… don’t know how even if I tried.”

that sentence seems to make her think, her eyebrows furrow for a second before she shakes her head, not accepting your statement, “no. no no no. you can’t.. not know. you’re missing out.. I mean.. how do you even feel good? no. I’ll just have to teach you.”

that is the conversation that leads you into the most vulnerable position you’ve been in for a long time. sitting up, leaning back on your arms, legs spread open over a pillow, your nightgown pulled up to reveal your glossy folds.

“oh you need it,” sarah coos, she’s bent down so that her face is level with your pussy. “give me your hand,” she speaks gently, reaching out to take it. she pulls it down and guides you to touch yourself.

your fingers are cold, having been out in the air conditioned open. it proves quite a shock when two of them collide with the small bundle of nerves you know to be your clitoris.

you let out a whimper of confused emotion, mostly pleasure, mixed with some unsureness and maybe a little bit of curiosity too. you’d felt pleasure before, and of course you’d had that small need for pressure in this area before. but actually feeling that pressure, it’s overwhelming.

you notice that she’s guiding your fingers in small circles in time with the pulsing of your nerves. her free hand climbs up to touch your hole before sliding two fingers in and moving them in a rhythmic pace with the circles. creating the perfect mixture of feelings to make you feel amazing.

you both keep it up for many minutes. your hips are bucking and moving involuntarily as the sensation becomes more intense. the pressure gets stronger and you start to feel a sort of knot forming in your stomach.

at some point she’d let go of your fingers to let you rub yourself independently, like how a parent lets go of the back of their child’s bike when they become confident they can ride by themselves.

“oh! m’gonna–” you can barely make up words as the pleasure overwhelms you. your breathing is all ragged and shaky, “sarah… gonna cum.” you cry out, movement speeding up frantically before the feeling of bliss finally washes over you.

it's such a new feeling, and yet so primal, like it's rooted into you. you could tell when it was coming and now you lean into it and experience like you already had one hundred times. you throw your head back and moan loudly, completely disregarding the fact that you and sarah are not the only people in this house.

sarah is looking up at you with a grin on her face. she's still touching you, helping you through and letting you savour the feeling for as long as you possibly can. she has a proud little twinkle in her eyes, she's so happy that she's been able to help her best friend feel such a good feeling for the first time, she realises she wouldn't have wanted it to be at the hands of anybody else.

she waits for you to come down and once you do she swoops in, leaning forward to pull your tired out body against hers, “you did so well,” she kisses you cheek in a gentle, affectionate manner. “were gonna get cleaned up now, yeah? then we can rewind that movie.”

#sarah cameron prompt #sarah cameron concept #sarah cameron blurb #sarah cameron smut #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron #outer banks

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nightynightghoul · 8 months ago

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I have so many thoughts about the ghouls and the ministry.

So this is my take on what the abbey/ministry looks like + a lot of my own worldbuilding. (I made this in Inkarnate, which is meant for dnd maps and stuff.)

Be warned that this is like 2000+ words of what my head has come up with. So under the cut it goes.

I based it on actual abbeys. I've been to like two monk ones and a few convents where I live and abroad and this is what I came up with. I also attended a catholic nun school for a good while, so many of the things here are actually from my memories...

From what I've seen, abbeys are usually isolated and at least partially self-sufficient. Even when they happen to be in the middle of cities. The smaller ones are like a square corridor surrounding a courtyard and the bigger ones have many buildings with that pattern.

I'm not sure where this would be located, maybe Sweden, maybe the US. But since I Imagine the ministry being so old, it wouldn't fit in the US, since there aren't buildings this old or with this architecture.

I also read up on how abbeys work to bulk up the lore in this map and what goes on in the buildings.

So strap in because this will be long.

The biggest building in the abbey is the Grand Church (Ghurch), I headcannon that they have this very big beautiful sorta gothic style cathedral in the abbey grounds, since religious live does kinda go around services and all that. Them having this pretty church would also mean that there's no need for a chapel?

I also think ghouls are not summoned in the church proper but rather from a permanent circle/well. So there's the Summoning Well beside the church. They probably made it that way because it would be dangerous to have any sibling walking in there.

To the other side, there's a sacristy and a Papal Office. The sacristy is where Papa would have his ceremonial robes with his mitre and stuff. I also think it works as storage for service supplies. Things like incense, books, all the plates, cups, and things they would use.

Then the papal office would be the actual workplace for the current papa. Big ol wooden desk with lots of bookshelves, a sofa, probably one of those fancy liquor carts?

There's also a mausoleum close to the church. I mean, I needed a place to keep Nihil's corpse… But it'd be pretty useful to keep the memory of siblings that pass away in the abbey.

Under that are the Clerical buildings. I imagine that when people say “the ministry” it's the Clergy Offices they're talking about. Since most siblings/clergy spend their time within the abbey, it only seems logical to separate living spaces from working spaces to keep people moving and changing environments.

Since I also believe these buildings are super old then the most sought after and fancy offices and quarters would be on the ground floor (no elevator and all that). Which means Imperator probably has her office on the ground floor here along the past Papas and older clergy members.

The living quarters would be much the same in that Imperator, the Papas and now Copia have their rooms here. This building probably has a common room but most have their own kitchenette. Since it's such an old building, the interiors of the rooms have probably been remodelled many times. But it being built out of stone also means it's cold inside all the time.

Both buildings are inside a walled garden. I head cannon that way back, like a couple hundred years back the ministry didn't have a very good grasp of ghoul summoning, and they were sometimes more aggressive or feral than what they are now. (It's probably more of a case that in the olden times, clergy treated ghouls like shit, so they had more reasons to lash out and or kill someone) So they kept some of the abbey's buildings behind tall rock walls and wrought iron gates to add a little more protection. Since it's hardly necessary today, the gates stay open, but the walls are still there.

Then down the path there's the chapter house. What is a chapter house I hear you ask. It's the place where the people that live in the abbey talk and manage non religious things related to abbey life. So this would probably be where poor Aether get's relocated to do taxes and where other mundane office tasks are done. So accounting, admin work, grounds keeping and “housekeeping” are all located here.

Across from it is the Seminary. A seminary proper is like priest school, they go and study for a few years I think, and then they come out priests. But I imagine that in this case it's like a college/university thing, where siblings have Latin classes, horticulture, demonology etc... There's probably some teachers offices here and several classrooms raging in size from auditorium to 3 chairs and a letter sized whiteboard. It for sure has a pretty foyer thing. Imagine groups of siblings sitting around before or after classes, complaining how they thought Terzo's basic Latin class would be a breeze, but it's actual hell. This building has one of those pretty inner courtyards, fountain and all. I'd like to think some classes can be held there, like outside but not outside, you know?

Beside the Seminary, there's a school/nursery. I think couples that have children within the ministry can have the option to move into a bigger space together within the siblings quarters and their children will have a regular secular education until they are old enough to choose satanism or something else. The nursery part takes care of the babies and ghoul kits during the day or while the parents are busy.

I think joining the ministry and becoming a sibling is not something that happens easily or quickly. The same way, nuns spend a few years being novices before actually dressing and having the same responsibilities as their elders. Hence, the Novices Quarters. They are still part of the abbey's daily life, but they have to attend more classes at the seminary and are just a bit more separated from ghouls than regular siblings. Since they probably want to make sure they are really devout and prepared before seeing and interacting with an actual demon. Out of all the siblings and clergy, Novices would probably be closer to being actually “recluse” since in my head there's no way they can freely explore the abbey without accidentally running into a ghoul or walking in to a ritual or seeing things that shouldn't just yet.

In front of it are the workshops. I've seen some people headcannon that the ghouls not only have “jobs” in their downtime and retirement but also hobbies. Like fire, ghouls probably frequent the forge in the workshops or blow glass. Earth ghouls can maybe take the prettiest wood here to be turned into furniture. Ghouls and siblings would work together here to repair and maintain the abbey's physical structure.

Down the path there's the main storehouse. Pretty central in relation to the other buldings. It has 2 floors and a basement. That way they can keep everything, from ageing cheeses and wines to office supplies and staples.

Across the path there's the sibling's Infirmary. I definitely wanted to keep the ghouls and siblings apart in this case. Mainly, because if the building are so old, and they were protected by walls and gates, ghouls would most likely not be trusted to be left in the same building as sick and defenseless siblings. But I think that nowadays ghoul medical staff like Omega, Aether and Phantom work in between the “sibling” infirmary and the “ghoul” infirmary with no trouble. But ghouls do prefer to stay in their own infirmary, since it's closer to the dens.

The siblings quarters surround “Mother's garden” or “Lilith's garden”, both wings share a common room but since the buildings are so old they were built to segregate women from men. Hence, the two quarters wings, two office building and two distinct baths. This separation is ignored nowadays. One, people can have other genders. Two, the “sisters” side has been remodelled to accommodate families.

Like I mentioned when describing the siblings infirmary, there's also a ghoul infirmary. Much smaller and closer to the dens, this infirmary does not have much regarding sophisticated equipment. But it's rather used for minor injuries and easy to fix things. Although the second floor does have Omega's office and private rooms for ghouls. Like Dew (not me making a whole building to be able to imagine @littlemoon-beam fics and headcannons about Dewdrop) who's a frequent flyer of the infirmary.

Of course there has to be an outdoor space of recreation, so I made a “central” plaza with benches and a fountain in the middle (Is this where a high, zooted of his ass Rain has been seen naked? naaaah. Surely not). I called it “All hedonist's fountain” because I can and because it's a nice mirror to things called “All saints whatever”.

Behind the ghoul's infirmary, there's a huge stone wall and gate. That would be the dens. Since I headcannon that there are more ghouls than just the band ghouls, they also need a place to live. Hence, the “General quarters” of the dens, there's also the “band quarters” separated from it. They both share a common room, but they're not directly connected to it, and both buildings have their own little common room. I think the band quarters was the first building made to house ghouls and that's why it has it's own kitchen.

There's also the ghouls workrooms. I think this is where they would have a rehearsal room and other offices.

“Father's gardens”, “Lucifer's gardens” or more recently “Primo's gardens” are within the den's stone walls. (I like to think Primo keeps them all pretty for the ghouls). It has a little pond in it too, no fish though. Blame hungry water ghouls for that.

Across the dens there's the Library. When I was in school, that was the biggest, grandest, most secular place there was and I loved it. So I made this library huge. I separated it into two wings connected by a hall. The only difference between both wings is that the east wing houses all the older books, and it probably has a “restricted” section that only higher clergy members have access to. Maybe for the better, since they wouldn't want a curious sibling trying to summon lord Leviathan and pissing him off.

In the middle of the wings there's the scribes hall. I'd like to think that when people write ghouls working in the library this would be the place. They would probably have book binding equipment, scribes tables, the whole thing. All to maintain the old books in a usable state and register new information the clergy learns from hell.

By the library's east wing, there's "The observatory". Again included because my head needed a scenario and location for the quints to watch the stars. I'd say its a fairly tall tower with a glass dome, some furniture, some books, maybe a desk and telescopes.

There is of course a mess hall. I imagne a big kitchen on one side and a cafeteria like thing where most have their meals, or at least they can go get them to take to another place in the abbey.

Beside it there's a pretty herb garden, animal pastures, some crops, a barn, granary , mill and the greenhouses. I think it was @mac-and-thefox who came up with the idea of there being a farm like think within the abbey and my mind just ran with it. (Do correct me if I'm worng there).

Now there's only one more man made bulding in the map and that would be "Mountain's greenhouse". A true staple for ghost fanfics. It probably was a run down space abandoned by groundskeeping but Mountain wanted privacy + plants and everyone agreed he could do whatever with the little building. Not that Imperator needs to know that Mountain grows weed and hellish plants inside...

The whole eastern side of the abbey is flaked by a forest (ghouls need to have hunting grounds people.) In it there's Mountain's greenhouse, a small rocky hill "Starry hill" and under it a small grotto. More like a hole the water made within the stone, so it's now a tiny cave.

Of course I had to have "The Lake", or else this map would not fit any fanfic involving Rain and Dew. There's a small stream that crosses the abbey and ends up at the lake. Most siblings know to stay away.

The "Southern Clearing". A little clearing full of clover and flowers, a nice place for siblings to celebrate the solstices and equinoxes.

Finally, just beside the Summoning well there's a rocky hill with an old wrought iron door closing it off. I headcannon there are indeed tunnels and crypts running under the abbey but they're closed off now since they're dangerous. Doesn't mean the ghouls don't have a way to go in and out but it's still dangerous for humans. I think the more elusive ghouls, like Special and Cowbell stay here because they want the isolation. There absolutely are old abbandoned torture and sacrifice rooms down here. But modern siblings don't need to know that. (Also, I very much think old ghouls before Nihil and way back were not only not treated nicely or fairly but straight up chained or tortured sometimes. (I'm still in the air on the fact that Imperator knows this and threatens misbehaving ghouls with that along with banishment.)

#the band ghost #nameless ghouls #shitghosting #ghost ghouls #ghost #This took me way too long #Is ghost consuming my thoughts? yes #Am I obsessed with this band and it's all TF fault? Also yes. More at 10:00 #I'm also hella nervous about tagging other people in this #If someone has more thoughts on the map or base their things in it I will evaporate

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taesanluv3r · 2 months ago

Text

crazy in love

han taesan x reader

this is so silly. i luv the idea of taesan being an annoying yapper bf and yn being a silly silly gf <3 lowercase intended, some cuss words, pls ignore any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors. enjoyy!

wc: 1,073

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"be honest with me right now...would you still love me if i was a worm?"

han taesan's laugh echoed against the walls of his cozy apartment, the one he shared with yn ln, the idiot who had asked him the question.

"darling, you know i'd love you even if one day you woke up to find yourself a monstrous vermin!" he'd exaggerate and she'd giggle, calling him a nerd for the obvious line he stole off of franz kafka's book, to which he'd respond with: "if you got the reference, you're just as much a nerd as i am!"

yn gets up and heads over to the kitchen, pouring herself her fifth iced-coffee of the day. "you know you'll get sick if you drink too much coffee, darling" the boy said, chuckling lightly when she rolled her eyes at him, joining him back on their living-room couch. "oh please, you're telling me this like you don't drink just as much!"

it wasn't unusual for the young couple to bicker this way. especially because of how similar they were; two yappers - or at least that's what their friend woonhak called them - who happened to fall in love. the living room was their favourite spot in the whole flat. on off days like this one you would find the pair snuggled up on their soft sofa, a blanket each - because sharing one would almost always end up in an argument.

the wide-screen tv played whatever movie from the late 2000s they decided to re-watch - partly because they enjoyed the routine, mostly because everything that was new didn't quite compare to the "classics". that didn't really matter though, because they'd end up forgetting all about the movie anyways, preferring to entertain each other instead. it could be anything. something as simple as a conversation about what silly prank riwoo pulled the other day, or what kind of an ugly outfit the girl had seen on a mannequin. sometimes they didn't care to talk at all; sometimes they'd kiss, and other times they'd do way more than that.

"darling, how many times have we seen this movie?" taesan asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the familiar scene appeared on the television. "i mean it's not even christmas time yet? why are we watching 'love, actually' again?" his girlfriend gasped in disbelief, looking at him as if the answer was obvious.

"for baby thomas brodie-sangster."

the boy scoffed, "oh please, the man is like- in his mid-thirtees now and he still looks like a baby!" she rolled her eyes again, "well duh! that's his charm! now shut up, you're annoying" she said, glaring at him coldly. it didn't last long though, the minute he shot her that stupidly adorable smile of his, she had forgotten all about how annoying her boyfriend was. her eyes went soft, the pout on her lips turning into a smile of its own.

"what?" he asked, tilting his head unconsciously to the side. he already knew the answer though, just because this has had happened countless times before. his hand moved to caress her cheek, the warmth of his touch making her blush. and then he said, in a voice so proud and almost cocky:

"falling in love with me all over again?"

he expected a nod, an agreement from her, but what he got instead was the shake of her head and an obnoxious giggle. "no...just wondering how i ended up with you- i mean a billion fish in the sea and i ended up with han-can't keep his mouth shut-taesan-ow!" taesan grinned as his girlfriend smoothed her palm against her head where he had jokingly slapped her.

"no, babe that one actually hurt" yn said, putting an end to his glory. his gaze softened and he was quick to react. "shit! i'm so sorry, darling..." he spoke softly this time, just above a whisper, and he pulled her close towards his chest. the boy pressed about a million kisses over the same spot on her head; again and again and again. it was sweet at first, the girl was just about to forgive him- well, until the innocent kisses became ticklish.

"tae...taesan...stop! it tickles!" those were the only few words she managed to muster out in between her laughs. in his usual menacing ways, the boy pretended not to hear his pleading girlfriend. instead, he thought it'd be a great idea to just straight up tickle her on purpose.

"haha! this is what you get, baby. i'm not stopping until you admit you're crazily in love with me...or until i get tired, whichever comes first" taesan taunts as his fingers continue to poke at her sides. "ah! never!" yn yelled, using all the strength in her body to flip him over, landing him on his back. she used his strategy against him, fingers rapidly tapping against his lower abdomen. "fuck..." she stopped and cussed, sitting completely still on his lap.

"you're not ticklish?"

he shook his head, a stupid smirk gleaming against his lips. "ugh, i hate you" she mumbled, giving up and falling down against his chest. his arms wrapped around her waist, her head nuzzled into his neck. "i win...now say it" taesan spoke, stroking her hair sweetly and tucking a couple strands away behind her ear. yn sighed dramatically as she sat up again.

"han taesan, i am crazily in love with you!"

the boy couldn't help but smile, breaking into a loving set of laughter, his hand moving to cover his mouth out of habit. contagious, she smiled as well - even if she hated the fact that she had lost - "i love you too, yn ln...my darling" he grinned, leaning into her lips and closing off any of the excess space between them.

"mm~ i like the taste of this lip-balm...you know if you use it more, i'll kiss you more" taesan said, licking his lips as they parted with her cherry-flavoured ones. "liar...you'd kiss me just the same amount with or without!" she argued, "and what makes you think that?" he retaliated. "cause you're obsessed with me!" her statement makes him laugh, "and you aren't?" he chuckled when she didn't respond.

"that's what i thought"

yn just hummed after that, not really planning on arguing any further. partly cause she was tired from all the tickling, but mostly because she just couldn't. taesan was, correct! afterall, she is just...

crazily in love with him.

the end.

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this was supposed to be a sungho fic but i accidentally wrote it TOOOOO taesan so 😭 but i will write a sungho fic soon so yeppi fans don't sue me pls </3 anyways hope u enjoyed! sorry i havent been as active as i used to be :( tysm for reading, reblogs/feedback r appreciated!! love, kona.

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perm taglist:

@en-dream

#kona's work ♡#boynextdoor #boynextdoor drabbles #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor x reader #taesan #taesan x reader #boynextdoor taesan #bnd taesan #han dongmin #han taesan #bnd x reader

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genericpuff · 17 days ago

Note

Hey Puff,

I'm someone who has always struggled with how to do research "correctly," but have lurked around the community enough to know RS had a real tendency for… not doing enough. Do you have any recommendations, not necessarily specific to Greek mythos, on how to just do research? Is Wikipedia even a good jumping off point?

Thanks!

Biggest thing, at least for me, is being thorough! The reason a lot of folks tend to side-eye Wikipedia as a "source" isn't just because it's relatively easy for anyone to edit, but also because Wikipedia itself is a library of sources and not the source itself.

Wikipedia can be a perfectly acceptable jump off point, as long as you're actually jumping to the places it can lead to - and you can do that through References.

Let's use the Wikipedia entry for Persephone as an example.

Sourcing "improperly" through Wikipedia would be to simply source directly from one of the sentences listed here and calling it a day. No further digging on where the excerpt comes from, no cross-referencing with other material, just reading the part on Wikipedia that says she was a vegetation goddess, slapping it into an essay or adaption or whatever, and then not confirming it further or picking apart the why of her status as a vegetation goddess through extended research.

Sooo what do we do to find that info? Let's search the word 'vegetation' and see if anything else comes up.

There we go, that has a bit more detail. And from here, we can click the little '19' at the end of the paragraph, which will take us to the References section at the bottom of the page.

Aaaand boom! Now you've got an actual source that you can dig into further, if you so choose. There isn't a whole lot that I can access of this sourced book online, but I was able to find an excerpt where the author sourced Cicero, a Roman poet and philosopher (among other things) who lived during the rise of the Roman empire:

That said, sometimes these sources aren't quite so easy to track down. That's where cross-referencing can help - but that means leaving Wikipedia!

Where this concerns a Greek goddess, let's see what we can find on Theoi, another great resource specifically pertaining to Greek / Roman / etc. deities, stories, and customs.

Though it's not quite as clickable as Wikipedia, Theoi also does a good job at outlining sources in their descriptions. Though Bennett isn't mentioned here, Hesiod and Cicero are, and wouldn't you know it, they're sourced on Theoi as well.

So there you have it! Even though Bennett is from the early 2000's, he did his own work to outline and source poets and academics whose work he was now documenting himself. This means the odds of Bennett simply making shit up are low because he sourced from the preserved works of the era he's speaking on and those works are referenced again through other resource libraries such as Theoi.

What ALL that helps with at the very least - aside from the opinions one could have about the sources themselves (Ovid 😒) - is to legitimize the research. We know without a shadow of a doubt that Persephone was attributed to vegetation and the harvest because there are so many sources across different cultures and backgrounds and generations stating it as such. It thus makes the conclusions a lot more credible, even when they're coming from a more modern source, because that source was built on their own research and sources from the Greek/Roman/etc. documents that have been preserved (and there's still new stuff being found!!!)

Obviously there are always arguments to be made about the material itself, especially when it comes to the debates over translations and cultural contexts, but actually following up on initial searches with referencing and cross-referencing is a lot more reliable and credible than simply taking something from Wikipedia and saying "I read it on the Internet."

As much as the effectiveness of Google and Wikipedia as legitimate research sources is frowned upon, they are incredibly effective, you just need to know where to look and how to find it, and most importantly - how to verify it.

And that's just the online stuff! Libraries are still alive and well! Many universities contribute to search engines like WorldCat which are designed specifically for research papers, published articles, and textbooks! Point is, the world around us is full of knowledge and resources, so the key is to learn how to navigate it so you can get the most out of it!

This is ultimately why it's so important to not restrict yourself to the first Google result - I know it's "easier" due to the convenience of it all, but you're also robbing yourself of the opportunity to really expand your knowledge beyond the summary of a targeted first result, and it runs the risk of sourcing from illegitimate sources or sources that are controlled by Google's own self-interests (protip: have a very specific problem but Googling it just gets you a bunch of automated sponsor posts and completely useless results? add 'reddit' to the end of your search, you'll get human answers from real human beings and there's always at least ONE other person who's had the same problem and posted about it to reddit LMAO seriously this one's saved my skin so many times)

And when you learn to do research the way that works for your brain? It's really, really fun. A lot more fun than public school led many of us to believe. If you learn best from talking and engaging with people, then go talk to people! Participate in groups and forums that are dedicated to the topic you're researching! If you learn best from listening to audio material, then try out audiobooks, they can often be found online through various means (🏴‍☠️) BUT ebooks and audiobooks are stocked at libraries too!

But of course, that leads us to what makes for bad research, and I obviously can't use any other example in this context than Rachel herself, whose "research" is evidently often the first recommended result that pops up on Google. And yes, I can say evidently because we've proven this when she tried to source the term 'xenia' into LO as a definition. Not only was it copy pasted to the point of still containing typos, but it was sourced plainly from a Princeton study guide that is now severely outdated - not the work that that study guide was sourcing from in and of itself.

(notice how she just sourced it as "princeton.edu" and not the specific URL that it came from)

If she really wanted to sound well-researched with the cheeky insert of the definition of xenia linking to a smart-sounding location (we're gonna ignore that it ruins the flow of the comic) then she could have sourced it from literally any of these:

But instead she did the equivalent of an 8th grader copy pasting a sentence from Wikipedia and calling it "research". It's not research. It's a lazy shortcut and it doesn't facilitate any real learning.

This can be seen in other instances as well, such as Metis' design:

As well as Leto, who I kinda think Rachel mixed up with the Full Metal Alchemist character of the same name when googling her because I can think of no other explanation as to why she's a sun goddess in LO when she has zero affiliation with the sun in the myths aside from being Apollo's mother-

(I can't prove that this is what happened but it's hilarious to think about; I'm also low key suspicious that Rachel accidentally mixed in some sources of the Métis people because Metis' design is very... Indigenous-coded 🤨)

^^^ This. This is all bad research. It's not a bad thing if Rachel's interest in Greek myth started through works like Hercules or other creative adaptions, that's actually how it starts for many of us. Where she failed was by trying to sell herself as a "folklorist" and her work as a "retelling", without actually following through in her research. She would often only do just enough to make herself seem well educated on the subject to anyone whose knowledge was as basic - or less - than hers, but not enough that it could actually hold up in a real discussion about Greek myth with other people who are more read up on it than her. Rachel's self-proclaimed "folklorist" title is only validated by the lowest common denominator of readers, who 99% of Lore Olympus ended up being made for in the end, while those who actually understood the myths deeper than their Wikipedia summaries pulled their hair out in frustration every time Rachel tried to make some sly reference to a myth or attempted to speak about it in interviews.

Comparisons aside, the best part is that this research process doesn't have to be exclusive to studying historical stuff! Writing a story that features a disabled character, but you yourself are not disabled and are worried you're going to misrepresent? Search up articles and posts that pertain to the specific disability you're trying to write; I guarantee you that there are people living with that disability offering up that information completely for free because they want to see more representation for themselves in media. Trying to learn how to draw characters of different body types / skin colors / etc. from your own? Seek out the works and advice of those who do have those physical differences and learn from them.

It's about being thorough. It's about opening yourself up to things you may have been blind to before. It's about embracing the learning experience as a positive sign of growth, not a negative sign of failure. It's about taking the opportunity to learn every time it presents itself, even if those opportunities are small and passive. A person who doesn't know is just a person who hasn't learned yet (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #research advice #writing advice #lo critical #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus

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spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 7 months ago

Text

Strawberries and Cream

I will be so real I made this title up while watching strawberry shortcake *Hyena laughing gif*

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x reader

Word count: 4.6k YEAH THATS RIGHT I ACTUALLY CHECKED THIS TIME

🔪remember to reblog🔪

Notes: You know the strawberry shortcake from the early 2000s? That’s MY GIRL. P.s I’m in the middle of writing this rn 1:47am 4/19/24 and imma be so real this fic is full on Christopher erasure I’m SORRY

Episode 1: First Appearances

Eddie had never been a “bumbling idiot” when it came to women, or okay at least he hadn’t been in a long time.

“Hi there! Can you help me?”

And there goes that record.

It’s like you walked in on a cloud of sugared lavender and cotton candy and strawberries and anything else sweet he could think of. He whirled around, nearly knocking into you

“Oh shit- god no shit- no I shouldn’t say shit-“ He grabs your arms to steady you, and it’s like he’s holding an angel. You’re… soft? Yeah soft is the word he’s looking for. He’s taking way too long to talk like a normal person and he knows it. But god if that short pink dress isn’t doing things to him….

“What um- What can I help you with?” Eddie leans against the fire truck, crossing his arms over his chest, coming back down to earth. What a smooth recovery.

“Well- I’m looking for Evan Buckley. He goes by Buck?” She looks up at him, her hands clasped behind her back sweetly.

Oh.

Oh, she wanted Buck.

Eddie deflates just the tiniest bit, okay a lot but he can’t let her know that “Oh yeah sure, I think he’s upstairs, come on”

He leads the way, his hand flowing over the cool railing, trying to ground himself a little. Was it wrong he was hoping Buck fumbled this one? He wanted his best friend to find happiness- to know what that felt like…but like he could just wish that a teeny bit right?

“Hey, Buck? Someone’s here to see you” He says as he stands at the top of the stairs. You pop out from behind him, throwing your hands in the air.

“Surprise!!!” You yell, doing a little spin

“It’s me!!!”

Buck's mouth drops wide open, his fork falling from his hand as he gets up from the table so excitedly he knocks his chair back.

“Y/N?!? What are you doing here?!” He runs over, picking you up and spinning you around, you squeal, holding onto him tightly.

“Buck!! Put me down!! You’re gonna drop me!” You’re laughing, your head tilted back as he squeezes you to his chest

“Not, I’m never putting you down again” He buries his face in your neck, hugging you as tight as he can before he sets you on the floor. He holds your arms, shaking you like a ragdoll.

“It’s been years Y/N, does Maddie know you’re here???”

You push away from him a bit, steadying yourself and putting your hand on your forehead.

“Can you rein it in for like five seconds” you giggle, looking up at him “I thought it was finally time to come see you! And no Maddie doesn’t know I’m here yet, I wanted to surprise you two!

“Well, do you have a place to stay? Because you’re staying with me you can have the bed I’ll take the couch! We can have Maddie over too! Oh god I’m so glad-“

Bobby finally clears his throat, looking up from the salad in front of him.

“Uh…Buck? You wanna maybe introduce your friend before you kill her with whiplash”

“Or from crushing her sternum,” Hen says, pouring a cup of coffee

“Oh shit, yeah! This is Y/N, my cousin!” He puts his hands on her shoulders pridefully, pushing her towards them.

Eddie perks up at that, turning around and leaning against the counter… cousin? He stirs his coffee slowly

Bobby gets up and shakes her hand, patting her on the shoulder

“It’s nice to meet you! Family of Bucks is a member of ours. Welcome to the 118”

They fawn over her, really that’s the only word Eddie can come up with. Chim compliments her “adorable” dress, Hen tells her she’s working those shoes, showing off that black girl magic. She’s a bit overwhelmed by the attention, giggling through her nerves as she talks to them. A wide smile on her face.

Buck takes her hand eventually, yanking her over to Eddie

“This is my best friend,” He says proudly, patting Eddie on the back. “Eddie Diaz!”

Eddie melts when she looks up at him with those sweet eyes, he smirks, looking away for a second and biting his lip. It's subtle but Buck catches it, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah, we’ve met,” he says, looking back at you and shaking your hand “It’s nice to properly meet you Y/N”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Eddie,” You say, a smile on your face, you bite your lip and Buck sees that too. He looks down at you, and then back up at Eddie.. and then right back down to you. His head goes up and down like a paddle ball and he whips out his phone, distractedly pushing you at Eddie.

“Ed do me a favor and keep her entertained for a minute. I need to call Maddie real quick I uh- I remembered something”

“Don’t you dare tell her I’m here! I want to surprise her” you warn him and Buck struggles, his hands gesturing wildly.

“Oh. Uhhh I’m sorry. I already texted her!” Chim interjects, shrugging awkwardly and you frown a little but shrug back “Oh okay! That’s fine”

Buck shoots Chimney a thumbs up for covering for him and immediately calls Maddie, running down the stairs for privacy.

“So um…where are you from?” Eddie asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Admittedly he does it to make his chest look better, and God does it. Hen snickers but ignores him doing that and Chim makes faces behind your back at Eddie.

“Oh, I’ve been in Minnesota for a while! It’s nice there, pretty quiet. I’m maybe looking for a place around here now though… but don’t tell Buck or Maddie I don’t wanna get their hopes up.

“Buck would probably just make you move in with him,” Bobby comments over his salad.

“Hey! We have plenty of space” Chim adds “if you’re looking for something temporary. I'm sure Maddie wouldn’t even mind permanent if we were able to discuss it”

“Eddie has a spare room. If you were here temporarily at least, that would probably be your best bet at this point” Hen chimes in, looking at him. His cheeks heat up and he chokes a little on his coffee

“I- I mean. I-“ he doesn’t even know what to say to that because god yes would he want that. Is that premature? That’s premature. Like so premature wanting to live with you……Anyway, a dog maybe? he knows exactly what old clothes he’d get rid of too to make space in his closet for you. Definitely a dog, gonna name him-

“Okay, okay slow down you guys” You laugh lightly, interrupting his internal life planning.

“I’m not moving in with anyone yet. It’s just a thought… and there’s no way in hell I’d feel comfortable imposing on Eddie like that. Family is one thing. A literal stranger? Yeah, I don’t know.”

“It’s not an imposition!” Eddie is way too quick with that answer. He clears his throat

“I- it wouldn’t be. That is if you need a place to crash. Besides I’m at work all day you know! It’s not like my place gets too much use…”

“See! Problem solved!” Hen says happily and you roll your eyes at her, scrunching your nose and making a little face at her

“Oh ha-ha, very funny. I’m not moving in with Eddie”

“You’re moving in with Eddie?!” Buck’s mouth is dropped wide open as he stands at the top of the stairs.

“What?! No!” You tell him, your hands up in defense “I’m not moving in with anyone.”

“Good,” Buck says as he picks up his chair from earlier. “Because if you’re moving in with anyone it’s gonna be me.”

“Told you” Bobby rolls his eyes.

After he finishes his pad, Thai, Buck eagerly shows you around the firehouse, dragging you and Eddie around like a kid in a candy shop. He just has so much he wants to show you, and he wants Eddie there “for backup” in case he misses anything. He proudly shows off his locker and you giggle, he’s incredibly cute sometimes. He shows off Eddie’s locker too, to which Eddie rolls his eyes and shuts the door, giving him a shove.

“Trust me when I say I saved the best for last.”He climbs up into the truck, reaching out for you. “Eddie help her?” He requests, taking your hands in his. Eddie shrugs, putting his hands firmly on your hips as you step up into the truck, he gives you a little lift and push and you’re in. Buck winks at you and you roll your eyes as Eddie climbs in behind the two of you.

“Isn’t this cool?!” He practically yells “Cool” and you’re looking around like a little owl, your eyes wide, head swiveling. It’s a lot to take in but it’s cool, he’s right.

“Uh, yeah!!!” You agree, touching everything in sight. Eddie sits on one of the seats and watches you walk around a bit, looking at everything and running your fingers over it. Buck makes you sit down in one of the seats and buckles you in.

“You look awesome!” He chuckles as he takes pictures of you for Maddie. He unbuckles his belt and gets up, looking around outside the door. Eddie gets on one knee, helping to unbuckle you. He looks up at you as you pull your arms out from the straps

“Thanks” Your voice is a little breathless, god his smile is gorgeous and he smells so damn good.

“Yeah no problem” He grins, standing up out of your way.

“Hey Y/N, you wanna pretend to drive?” Buck asks excitedly, rubbing his hands together as he turns back around.

“Oh my god, can I??? Please!!” You squeak and Eddie chuckles, shaking his head at the two of you…he can see your similarities. Buck makes Eddie get out first and smirks as Eddie grabs your hips again, it’s a little harder getting out and you stumble into his arms, squeaking.

“Hey, Don’t worry I got you” He chuckles, holding you against his chest, you look up at him as he smiles down at you.

“T-thanks uhh again, I guess' ' you mumble, your cheeks feeling like they’re practically on fire. Buck sits on the floor of the truck, swinging his feet as he just gleefully watches the interaction. Eddie sets you down properly, taking a second before he lets you go.

“Guess he’s gonna make you help me into the front seat too huh?” You ask a bit shyly

“I’m lazy as hell so yes” Buck pipes up from behind you and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind it anyway, just gives me an excuse to get closer to you” He practically purrs and even though he’s joking (he’s not) you melt on the spot, your mouth falling open quickly and snapping shut just as fast. He cracks up as he helps you up into the driver's seat. His hands feel so hot on your hips, they sear into your sides and you wish he’d keep them there. Eddie shuts the door and goes around to the other side, climbing inside.

“Alright children, go crazy” he teases you and Buck as he watches, he has to swat your hand away from so many buttons that Buck is trying to make you push. Eventually, you’re both just doing it to drive him crazy.

“Honk the horn, honk the horn!!” Buck chants from the backseat and you look over at Eddie, he shakes his head snickering as he nods

“Alright alright, God. Go ahead, Bobby will know Buck made ya do it”

You put both hands on the large horn and push down, the loud honking noise echoes through the entire station and Buck bursts out laughing. You fall back in the seat, kicking your legs laughing excitedly and it takes everything in Eddie not to just lean over and kiss you. You look so happy and gleeful as you all hear Bobby already yelling at Buck

“Scatter!!!” Buck yells and jumps from the truck, running away.

“No! No, that's not fair!” You yell after him, as Eddie jumps from the front seat too. You scramble over to the other chair and Eddie is already waiting with his arms out to you. It stalls you for a second, your heart beating out of your chest as you climb down into his arms.

“Safe and sound,” he says as he shuts the door and pulls you with him over to a little corner to hide. You can see everything from there, you’re pressed against Eddie as you both watch Bobby coming down the stairs. Buck is hiding in front of the engine, he runs around the opposite side and you’re giggling. Eddie is snorting as he covers your mouth

“Shhhh you’re gonna get us caught” he whispers and god does Eddie not want to be caught. He didn’t mean for this to happen, for your body to be pressed into his, one hand on your back pressing you into him and the other over your mouth. It’s intimate, and soon your giggles die out and you look up at him, his hand still over your mouth. You both stare into each other’s eyes…is it getting hot in here??? Did someone open the bay doors??

He slowly removes his hand and you blink at him

“Sorry” he apologizes softly, he’s just glad there’s no way you can feel the way his heart is beating out of his chest.

“It’s cool,” you say back just as quietly, feeling the same way. You bite your lip, your hands feeling the hard muscles under his tight shirt. Kinda makes you wonder if all his clothes fit him this nicely.

You’re about to say something when alarms start blaring. You jump, holding onto the front of his shirt and he pulls you in for a second

“Shit- Shit I gotta go,” he says, reluctantly letting you go. “Hopefully I’ll see you again sometime soon” He tilts your chin up, like he wants to kiss you but decides against it… he did just meet you. Instead, he kisses your forehead before running off to get his stuff on.

The truck is gone for about 10 minutes before you get a text from Buck, telling you Maddie is coming to pick you up and take you back to his place and that he’ll see you for dinner. He sends a little heart emoji at the end of the message and you smirk. Buck was ridiculous, sincere, but ridiculous.

The truck rolls back into the station a couple of hours later, It’s time to clean up and head out, their shifts are almost over finally. They work together, putting things back in their places and giving the truck a little wipe-down in a few places. Finally, Bobby dismisses them as the next shift starts coming in.

Eddie walks into the changing room, exhausted and ready to crash at home. He grabs his clothes and tosses them down, grabbing his shirt and yanking it tiredly over his head.

“So are you ... into her?” Buck asks as he walks in, getting his stuff together and standing next to Eddie to change and chat. He pulls his blue shirt over his head and looks at Eddie as he reaches for his pants

“Into who?” Eddie raises an eyebrow, pulling up his pants. He knows exactly who he’s talking about but he’s not confirming that.

“ “Into who” Yeah okay” Buck scoffs “Are you into Y/N?”

“Buck I just met her this afternoon. How could I be into her.” He lies through his teeth…and Buck sees right through him.

“Okay sure, anyway. Since you wanna play coy I’m not inviting you to dinner anymore”

“Wait, you were inviting me to dinner?” He stops buttoning his pants and looks over at Buck who’s pulling on his jeans

“Yeah I was… but since someone isn’t into someone… I’m not bothering” he buttons his pants and claps him on the back “See ya tomorrow bestie!” He goes to leave, a smirk on his face and Eddie stops him, grabbing his arm.

“I’m not….I’m not saying I’m into her. But- like-“ he sighs

“I’m hungry”

Buck walks into the studio, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat. Maddie is sitting at the table, eating a bowl of grapes and you’re standing at the stove, stirring the pot.

“I’m telling you Mads, he is literally so cu-“

Maddie cuts you off, clearing her throat “Hey Buck! Hey… Eddie?”

Buck pushes Eddie ahead of him and over to the counter, he walks past him to the fridge and grabs a couple of drinks

“Look who’s staying for dinner,” He says in a singsong voice, tossing Eddie a bottle of water, Eddie rolls his eyes and leans against the small counter next to the stove, he gives you a wink as he opens the bottle

“Hope you don’t mind? He just invited me at the last minute” He shrugs, sipping the water. He looks over at Maddie, who is staring at Buck intensely. They’re definitely having a sibling conversation.

“No, not at all! I made more than enough!! I’m glad you could join us.” You give him a little hip bump, feeling your cheeks flush and he bumps you back. He looks up to see Maddie and Buck staring at the two of you, Buck eagerly wiggles, trying to hide his excitement, you turn around and he instantly stops, making Eddie laugh.

Dinner is good- like really good, Eddie hasn’t eaten Mexican food like that in a while, sure he could go to Catrina’s but it’s just different when it’s from home. Buck had nearly shoved Eddie into the chair next to you, as he plopped down next to Maddie

“Oh don’t mind me! Just wanna sit by my wonderful, loving, perfect, sister” he explained and Maddie facepalmed, Buck couldn’t be more obvious…but at the same time, you couldn’t be more oblivious…Buck was acting weird but he’s Buck he’s always weird.

“So I guess it’s safe to say you’ve got a little Latin flair in you hm?” Eddie asks as he takes a bite from his carnitas, even the tortillas are freshly made. You’d brought them with you from home for Maddie and Buck.

“Yup,” you smile proudly as he moans and rolls his eyes back “I’m half Mexican. And uh, I take it the food is good?”

“I’m so sorry for the absolute slut I’m about to become while eating this, yes it’s delicious” he nods his head while he’s eating and you break down laughing. Buck and Maddie are looking at each other with that certain sparkle in their eyes again while you’re shoving Eddie and he’s stealing a bite of your rice.

It’s kind of natural the way you hang all over Eddie over dinner and the way he holds onto you, maybe it’s the Hispanic in you both, very touchy. Or maybe it’s just that he’s fun to be around. Eddie learns a good deal about you, most of it incredibly embarrassing as Buck can’t help himself but tell all of your embarrassing moments as kids together. Eddie gets him back for you, telling the story about how he quite literally peed himself on a date once and you and Maddie are both scream laughing as Buck starts throwing leftover lettuce at Eddie screaming at him to shut up.

“I’m sorry you got into a lettuce war” You giggle as you walk out to Eddie’s car together, nudging each other occasionally. He’s got his hands in his pockets

“Yeah that’s Buck for you”

Buck had made you walk Eddie out to his car, claimed he absolutely had no choice but to start the dishes or he’d forget, and said Maddie had to use the bathroom and it wasn’t safe for pregnant women to hold it for so long. You’re pretty sure he made that last part up but you just shrug it off, slipping on your slides and following Eddie outside.

You stop in front of his car and you lean against it a little, dragging your finger down the hood. He clears his throat and you look up at him, he’s blushing as he runs his fingers through his hair nervously.

“Do you…wanna like to hang out? While you’re in town?”

“Yeah sure why not! You’re Buck’s best friend I’m sure he’d love to “

“No no- just. Like just us. Just me and you?” He interrupts you, as he gets in his car.

“Oh,” You feel your cheeks flush. “Like…- like a date?”

“No! No not. Okay- okay that sounds bad I said it way too fast-“ He’s stumbling over his words “Jus- just like being cool hanging out I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t ask you on a date…yet. Like we just met you know so I mean I don’t want to take things too fast for you!!”

His head falls heavily back against the headrest groaning at his awkwardness, and you’re smirking, your arms crossed over your chest. He looks over at you, his voice low as he takes a deep breath.

“Would you like to go to the zoo with me this weekend? As friends. I’d like to get to know you better.”

You smile at him, leaning into the car window and kissing him on the cheek.

“I would love to go to the zoo with you this weekend, as friends”

Eddie rolls his eyes, that blush on his cheeks deepening as he starts the car, looking at you. “Friends don’t kiss friends” He dares to say that as if he hadn’t kissed your forehead that afternoon.

“I promise you, friends kiss friends on the cheek. Trust me” You tell him a matter of factly, assuring him as you step back, giving him a little wave.

“Guess I gotta get on that trend huh?”

He smirks as he drives off. Is he speeding? Yes. But does it look cool as hell, also yes. He’s so giddy all the way home. Not only does he have a Tupperware full of some of the best food he’s eaten in a long time that you’d shoved in his hands and refused to take no for an answer when he tried to tell you he couldn’t possibly take it. But you’d also said yes to the date… okay a “friend” date but you still said yes!!

The next morning he’s got a little more pep in his step, he gets through his workout faster than usual and he’s even early to work.

“You’re in a good mood” Hen comments, as she drinks her coffee, he shrugs as he finishes tucking his shirt into his pants

“I guess I am …yeah” He smiles, fixing his hair. He is in a good mood…he can’t stop thinking about you. He’d even dreamed about you… it was impossible not to think about you. It’s like he could smell your perfume as he was just standing there, whatever you wore was everything to him, he could practically bathe in it.

“Why are you standing with your hands in your hair like that?” You giggle as you walk up next to him.

Oh, so he could smell your perfume.

“I was just distracted..” He says awkwardly, turning towards you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I brought brownies! Me and Maddie are hanging out today so she brought me up here ...didn't realize I’d run into you” you say, your hands behind your back as you look around the firehouse.

“Didn’t think I’d get to see you either…” he says, mimicking your stance

He leans down, kissing you on the cheek. His lips are soft and plump and it makes you blush, his hand ghosts over your hip before he pulls you a little closer to him.

“So, I was thinking we could go to lunch after the zoo? If you wanted”

He’s so close now, looking down at you. He’s tall…and he still smells so good, like he always does. You could bottle that and just bathe in it.

“Lunch?” your voice is a bit dreamy as you feel his hand on your hip. He’d been touching you yesterday too and today felt just as good. You can practically feel his body against yours like it was the other day when you were hiding.

“Yeah, figured we could go to the zoo early…maybe spend the day together. If you’re okay with that” His voice is smooth, sort of deep. Like he’s purposely trying to overwhelm your senses.

“Y…yeah okay. Yeah, that sounds nice” you agree easily because he is overwhelming you. And you can’t help the way your lips part softly like you just need to know what his feels like. He’s got a smirk on his face as his eyes flick down to your lips, he runs his tongue over his own before he chuckles lightly.

“Alright…it’s a date. But you know, not” His voice is playful as he wiggles his eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes, finally pushing at his chest, shoving him away from you.

“Yeah, yeah whatever I’ll see you this weekend.” You can finally breathe again.

He watches you walk away, practically thirsting over that sway in your hips and the way those shorts you’re wearing hug your body so deliciously.

“Shoulda taken her to the beach…” he mumbles to himself.

“Can you not eye fuck my cousin in front of me please, I truly don’t think that’s too hard of a request.” Buck groans as he shoves a brownie in Eddie’s mouth.

“And she’s good at baking?!” Eddie moans around his bite, accepting the brownie from Bucks's hand

Buck rolls his eyes “Of course she’s good at baking. She’s good at everything”

“Eddie you better get to talking to her before I do” Hen threatens him jokingly “These are damn good”

“I know okay, I know” Eddie sighs “I’m not going to jump at her though, that’s like….desperate right? I don’t want to come off as desperate…even if I think she’s pretty. Like really pretty- stupid pretty”

“Hey, guys? You think she’s pretty?” Chim asks as he comes over to help Hen restock the engine.

“Not sure. Maybe we should ask Eddie” Hen nods as she walks away with him.

Eddie rolls his eyes, flicking them both off as he leans against the wall, rubbing his hands over his face. Buck chuckles at him, putting his hand on his arm.

“She's not gonna think you’re desperate Eddie… Y/N isn’t like that. And I think she’s into you too. Just be yourself, man, You’re a good guy Eddie, and a total catch. I love Y/N with all of my heart but if she can’t see that? She’s a total loser. And you know two sides of the same coin if you can’t see she’s the greatest woman in the entire world you’re the loser” He snickers as he elbows Eddie in the ribs. Eddie chuckles and sighs nudging Buck back.

“Thank you for restoring my confidence…I needed that. You’re the greatest friend in the world man, honestly”

Bobby makes a gagging sound as he walks by “And you’re the greatest crew in the world” He says in a high-pitched voice, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Hey! We’re having a moment” Buck says, throwing his napkin at Bobby.

Masterlist

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz #evan buckley #chimney han #bobby nash #9 1 1 #9 1 1 fanfiction #maddie buckley #words by Rhys #Rhys writes #wish I knew more tagsss #this is gettin pretty awkwardddd #eddie x y/n #reader insert #maybe I’ll remember more #Strawberries and Cream

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