#it has some of my favorite hawks moments now

[kedsandtubesocks]

Mr. Winter

Santa!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: you wrote that letter to Santa as a joke (knowing he obviously wouldn’t answer it) until he does - and he comes with a proposition

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI. no outbreak/modern AU & Joel has both his daughters, marriage of convenience, unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but is a drinking aged adult & Joel is older), yearning, fluff with light angst, grumpy but sweetheart!Joel, caregiver!Joel with slight sugar daddy!Joel vibes, brief moments of dealing with toxic family, Joel lifts reader once with his Santa strength, spicy thoughts, heavy making out, fingering, glove & finger sucking, use of “good girl,” Joel’s dirty talk & referring to himself as “old man,” one light ass smack, reader wears lingerie, Santa!kink (?), use of gendered language

word count: 9.1k (I’m sorry)

a/n: yeah… hi lol this is heavily influenced and based off “The Santa Clause” films but you don’t need to know those to read - biggest thank you to my favorite enablers & Santa’s cutest helpers @pedgito & @hauntedhowlett ily…also happy holidays, if you’re reading this I can’t thank you enough & hope a little magic comes your way ♡ divider credit to the ever talented @saradika-graphics

You wrote the dumb letter at the end of the semester class party. You’re thankful everyone decided to write papers instead of having a final, a grad school blessing, which meant class was done by the last week of November. Your professor even had set up the cutest Letters to Santa Station, and your friend begged you to write one with her.

So you did.

And you jokingly asked Santa for one thing - to send you a boyfriend.

Of course you know the big guy isn’t real and wouldn’t ever answer. It’s why you didn’t think much of it.

But now, if there’s any hope Santa could be real, you wonder if maybe he could just grant you one small wish…

You’re happy for your best friend, you truly are. Her wedding reception is beautiful, you just need a moment.

It finally hit you that you’re the last of your friend group not married. And as the cozy colder winter days bring in the couples closer during the slow song, you simply take a moment outside to collect yourself.

The once warmed spiked hot chocolate you’ve been enjoying now sits cold, not so festive.

Someone calls to you, says your name in a thick southern molasses smooth accent you don’t recognize.

Turning to the door, you definitely don’t know who this man is because you would have remembered someone this stunning.

Dressed down in some jeans and a sharp looking blazer, there’s almost a cowboy like air to this man. Rugged, older with lovely streaks of wrinkles and shining grey hair, a gorgeous sharp hawk nose, and dark as the deep earth eyes stare at you - he’s flat out gorgeous.

“Got your letter.” He cryptically announces, and confusion clusters in you.

This handsome stranger lifts up the overly festive candy cane colored envelope, the one you picked at the party a few days ago when you wrote your letter to Santa.

Slightly panicked, now you question who this man is.

The mystery man fidgets, painting him younger. He shifts to put his hands on his hips.

“Alright… there ain’t no easy way to put this, so imma just say it.” He starts. “I got many names… Father Christmas, Ol’ Saint Nick. Shit like that.”

Those dark unearthed eyes stare unflinching at you.

“But you can call me Joel.”

“Wait…What are you saying?” Bewilderment and skepticism bubble in your voice.

He sighs, ancient and tired, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Don’t make me say it.” He grumbles.

“Wait are you saying you’re like, fucking Santa Claus or something?” You can’t even believe it.

His large hand moves away from his face, and the man, Joel, stays silent. The somber stillness makes this feel worse.

A disbelief filled laugh escapes you.

“Yeah okay, nice try.” You lift your drink to him, a slight mock cheers, then take a sip. It’s cold as hell and tastes bitter.

“I know it sounds fucking crazy as shit-”

“The Santa I know wouldn't cuss.” You playfully cut him off deciding to now embrace this joke.

His face grows foul, hard with a frown, not so very Kris Kringle like. With deliberate steps he moves slightly closer to you.

“Two years ago… who d’ya think dropped off that snow globe, huh?” His voice dips low, bordering a deadly seriousness, and you inhale sharp.

Two years ago, you and your mom’s favorite snow globe shattered. It felt silly getting so upset over such a strange object, but you couldn’t find a replacement anywhere.

Then after everyone had opened their gifts and family had left, you spotted a lone gift still tucked away hidden under the tree.

It was the snow globe, new and perfectly wrapped. You know you didn’t get it for your mom and the way she teared up, she didn’t get it for you. None of your other family members knew the significance of it.

“It has to be a Christmas miracle,” your mom had said. You didn’t believe it.

Now you stare a bit horrified and in shock at the man who knows about this.

Silence suffocates the air between you and him.

“Make a reindeer show up.” You blurt out.

The man, Joel, snorts dry and amused.

“Don’t need reindeer. S’a myth.” He replies low.

Your eyes narrow suspicious at him now.

“Can you make it snow?”

“M’not Jack Frost.” He scoffs offended.

“Santa always leaves snow from his boots.” You argue back.

“It’s for the dang effect.” Joel argues back.

“Can’t be Santa then.” You shrug.

He makes a disgruntled sigh of a noise. Glaring hard, he waves his hand out to the wind. Suddenly the wind blows strong, a howling gust rushing against you, so blustery you need to cover your face. When the wind stops you realize you’re lightly covered in snow.

You almost drop your not so hot chocolate.

Joel must sense your shock. He takes your drink from your hand, takes a sip and makes a disgusted face.

“Look… came here for a reason. I think we might be able to help each other out.

He’s here with a proposition.

“I… need a wife.” He declares with a deadpan like energy.

Now you almost laugh again.

“What, did Mrs Claus divorce you?” You joke.

“Never been married.” He frowns.

Oh.

“So why now?” Curiosity peeks up in you fast.

“Legal shit.” His words don’t allow for more prying. “I’ll explain it all later. Just needed to find ya to see if we can get this done.”

“Wait, why me?”

He lifts up that damn letter again, waves it around.

“Y’said you wanted a boyfriend.” He almost sounds bored.

“This isn’t the same.” You squak, indignant.

“Look,” he now returns to that deep somber tone.

“I need this. And you’d be… compensation.” His voice shifts slightly awkwardly.

He mentions your loans, all the debt you have, and how he might be able to help out. Your eyes feel like they’re about to pop out their sockets.

Commotion finally arrives at the door leading back inside.

Joel takes a sip of your drink, then hands it back to you.

“Think it over.” He says low.

The door slides open, and your other friend flings her head out.

“Hey come on! They’re cutting the cake!” She brightly exclaims, but her face scrunches up confused.

“Wait, who were you talking to?” She asks.

Your eyes flicker to the spot where Joel would be.

No one stands next to you. All that’s left is snow and the imprint of boots.

You also notice…your hot chocolate has been warmed.

-

“Santa lives here? In Austin Texas? What happened to the North Pole?” Walking behind him, you sound like a bummed out kid who just found out Santa isn’t real.

“Shit said to throw the FBI off.” Joel Miller replies bluntly, and you don’t know if he’s joking or not.

His house, rustic and cozy, holds a spacious warmth. But it feels vacant, unusually quiet for a man known to bring joy and the personification of Christmas warmth.

“So how does one become Santa?” You ask.

“Long story.” Another curt reply.

“Well, if I’m gonna be your wife shouldn’t I know these things?” Just saying the words aloud didn’t seem real.

You can’t believe you’re doing this.

The new home draws in your full attention trying to soak it all in. So many photos of two girls cover the walls and they grow right before your eyes. Curiously, you ask about them.

“They’re my daughters.” Joel answers simple.

Your eyes go wide.

He had children.

“They’re the reason why we’re here actually.” Joel adds while he moves around his cozy kitchen.

He reveals ‘Santa Claus’ is simply a title for someone to fill. It’s a hefty role. Joel was able to get away without having a spouse with his first daughter, and then again with his second. But now with her about to enter college, Joel was alone.

The stipulation to marry now stood between him and having the title stripped from him.

“Why do you even need to get married?”

“Some shit about needing companionship and other fuckin’ bullshit.” He gruffly explains.

“You could retire.” You offer.

“Don’t wanna.” He roughly replies grabbing papers out of a drawer.

“So your daughters… I’m sure they must’ve been over the moon knowing their dad was Santa.” You try breaking the ice more.

Placing a pen on the table, Joel sighs.

“Look, we don’t gotta do this.” He snaps tight. “This small talk and shit. The sooner we can get this signed and started, the sooner we can get this over with.”

His words sting, becoming sharp barbs that dig in deep.

“Fine.” You grab the pen ready to sign whatever the hell this guy has for you.

A back door opens, and commotion follows. A handsome younger man, with the same dark eyes like Joel that instead sparkle, walks into the kitchen from the garage. Following him are two much older gentleman, one with kind eyes and the other with a glare that could whither a field

“Well now, is this the soon to be Mrs Joel Miller?” The youngest of the bunch says bright and sunny.

Joel introduces you to his brother, Tommy, who is an exact opposite to his sour puss older sibling. Frank, an old family friend, is here to officiate the ceremony. His husband, Bill, would be the other witnesses besides Tommy. Frank and Tommy are thankfully sweet, obviously curious about you.

“Can we get this fuckin’ done with?” Joel snaps.

Now your annoyance triples, and you’re thankful Tommy and Frank chide Joel. Bill snorts amused.

But wanting to leave now too, you’re quick to agree to start the ceremony.

It’s done short and simple in the kitchen - Frank asking you and Joel to take each other as husband and wife. You agree briskly. Joel just nods. There’s not even an exchange of rings, or a kiss to conclude the ceremony.

Joel simply sticks his hand out, a damn handshake becomes your official agreement, your binding wedding vow.

You maybe should have read over the marriage agreement more, could have been smarter and brought a lawyer, even one that might have believed you. But you’re pissed. You simply sign the papers, let Frank go over the documentation, then gather your things.

“Wait, you ain’t gonna stay for lunch?” Joel suddenly questions seeing you get up to leave.

“We got this over with, didn't we, husband? That’s all you wanted right?” Your words are clipped, polite but sharp, that they even sting you.

You apologize to Tommy and Frank for meeting like this. Yet you don’t say another word to your new husband who feels more of a stranger than ever.

-

When you get back to your mom’s place a new sticky note sits on your night stand.

Sorry about today, let me make it up to you.

-J

Underneath is his phone number.

Guess he’s showing off the very classic Santa trick of slipping into houses without anyone noticing he pulled off a breaking and entering.

He answers on the second ring when you call.

“I got Santa’s personal number?” You offer with a gentle treading tone.

“Yeah, yeah.” Joel huffs.

It eases the tension. But hesitation still brews thick, an awkwardness of trying to talk to a stranger who just so happens to be your new husband.

“Uh, shit…Sorry about earlier. Didn’t end up eating lunch. You up for a bite to eat? I'll pay?” His voice is open, letting you decide.

Agreeing, he shows up to your door in record timing.

“Is this traveling fast a Santa thing? How can you travel so fast?” Your curiosity gets the best of you.

Joel simply smirks, not answering, but the silence dances playful now.

He takes you to a cozy barbecue spot on the lake. The Texas winter makes the days crisp, almost stuck between autumn and full blown winter. But in the midday sun, it's rather lovely.

“I’m surprised you’re not busy with everything coming up.” You’re trying stepping into the conversation as eased and natural as possible.

“If I’m tryin’ to scramble to get shit done by now, then I ain’t doing my job right.” He says taking a sip of his beer, and his words ignite a burst of heat in you.

It's attractive… he’s attractive. You can’t deny that.

Lunch is surprisingly casual, relaxed. Joel asks about grad school and about your major, asks about your family. It vaguely feels like a regular first date.

However this is treading the waters between you and him and this strange new circumstance.

This situation has been gnawing at you. Anxiously, you wonder if he judges you for agreeing so quickly, for jumping in because of the money.

“Hey,” it's like he senses your quiet already.

“You still don’t gotta do this. I can head back home right now, rip up those papers and start again.” A sincere tone, gilded in understanding, rings in his voice.

He’s giving you a way out. You shake your head.

You want to see this as something good. So raising your drink up, it’s another cheers to him. This time Joel moves to toast you with his beer.

“I’d call this the strangest wedding reception ever but hey, I’ll take it.” Joel nods. His mountainous shoulders drop seemingly relaxed more.

You laugh, and for the first time, it feels like you’re sitting across a new friend now… who just happens to be your husband.

-

You and Joel start texting. It’s still a bit awkward, and he’s a dry texter which doesn’t help. You get tempted to send him Santa memes, but you’re not sure you can joke with him more.

You check your loans. They’re still there looming like a thick unmovable sludge. So he hasn’t paid it off yet.

Reality and acceptance settles in. This man, the embodiment of Christmas joy, is just that busy even though he said he wasn’t.

At least you helped, or maybe unknowingly sold your soul away and just don’t know it yet. Whatever it is, you slip back into your regular routine and head back to your mom’s.

Pulling up an unknown older red truck sits in front of the house, and you wonder who’s its owner.

Walking inside your mom announces she’s in the kitchen. Tools scattered along the table are a reliving sight. So it’s just the plumber she finally called.

“You didn’t tell me the guy you were seeing is a handy man.” Your mom whispers excitedly.

As if on cue Joel struts out from the bathroom looking something straight from a hallmark movie. The green plaid shirt he wears compliments him beautifully, and it’s hard not to stare at him and his delicious broad ass shoulders.

“Hey.” He greets with a half smirk.

“Was in the neighborhood, wanted to stop by and see if ya wanted to get dinner tonight. Then I remembered you telling me about your mom’s sink.”

You mentioned that during your first lunch with him. How did he remember?

Something soft, swirling with longing, fills your chest, and you try swallowing it back. As thanks, your mom happily suggests Joel joining for dinner here, and panic strikes you fast.

Joel grins bigger seeing you scramble to dissuade him. Of course he agrees.

You never would have guessed Joel ‘prickly as a Christmas cactus’ Miller is a charmer. He even pays for takeout much to your mother’s surprise.

“Didn’t know he was so much…older.” She hesitantly comments when he leaves.

“It’s been nice dating someone more mature.” You half lie. You aren’t ready to tell her the guy is your husband.

Later you text him thanks for fixing the sink and for dinner.

What are husbands for? He replies back.

And you really wish you knew.

-

You’ve wanted to go see the trail of lights, but with your mom working late for the holidays and your friends out of town, you consider making the trip alone.

Until your phone rings.

Joel has now started calling you, simply to chat, ask about how your day is, even just to check up on you. It makes your heart jump.

“Whatcha up to?” His voice rumbles deep and wonderful over the phone.

“Wanted to go to the trail of lights but might skip. No one wants to go.” You sigh.

“I’ll go.” He quickly replies, and your head spins.

If you thought Joel in plaid was a deadly force, him in a thick winter brown coat that highlights his strong frame is an utter sight.

The array of candy colored lights coat the world in a beautiful celestial dream. You’re thankful it’s not busy tonight.

“I’ve always loved Christmas lights.” You admit. It’s one of your favorite parts of being back home.

Surprisingly, he curiously asks about you more, what brought you back home. You of course tell him the truth. Out of state college got too expensive in undergrad, and now going to grad school expenses started piling up.

“So I’m back home.” You simply shrug.

“Ain’t no shame in it.”

You beam at his earnest words.

“Y’know, I haven’t been here in so long.” Joel admits. “Used to come here with the girls all the time when they were little.”

Wanting to embrace this tiny step he’s taking, you ask what they’re like. A soft look, one molten and fatherly, blooms over his face. It suits him, like he was born to be a dad in any lifetime.

Sarah is his eldest, a sweetheart going to school to be a journalist. He had her when was young, way too young, and her mother wasn’t big on wanting to raise a kid at that age.

“So it was just the two of you?” You softly ask.

“Yup, until our Ellie came along.” He nods while another soft grin tugs at his lips.

He tells you Ellie is adopted.

“S’actually a wild story.” Joel begins. “Found her during a run.”

A run, you learn quickly, is when he’s out on Christmas Eve.

“Newborn baby crying on the edge of the fire station. It was freezing as shit that night. Couldn’t just leave her there.” He mutters lost in the memory.

You and him have slowed your walk, now almost glued to each other side by side.

“Was a goddamn miracle.” He adds nodding.

“That’s beautiful, Joel.” You admire, meaning your words.

He goes on telling you Ellie’s already working in her last year of high school, ready to move out, be on her own, ready to start college.

“So I bet when they were kids they were thrilled to know their dad was… who you are.” You state with a warm grin.

Joel barks hollow.

“Couldn’t even threaten them with the naughty list deal. To them I’ll always be dad.” His voice twinkles, it’s like peeling away at the rough exterior to realize Joel is just an extra toasty marshmallow.

He’s still so warm and soft on the inside.

“Can I ask… how did it happen?” You’re worried he’s going to shut you out like he did last time.

But a heavy exhale leaves him. And he tells you…

About a night driving home during the bad snow storm that came many years ago. He stopped to help this man on the side of the road, who he assumed was a mall Santa that had gotten into an accident.

“Instead it was the real fucking deal.”

After that, the previous holder of the title passed away, leaving Joel to take up the mantle.

“Had to say yes,” he says with a shrug. “Even at five years old Sarah was bossin’ me around, telling me I had to…. Haven’t regretted it since.”

Iridescent adoration swallows your body whole begging you to embrace Joel Miller wholly.

“It’s wonderful. It’s brought you so many amazing things,” You can’t even hide your admiration anymore, don’t want to. You don’t want to fight this. You’d be his real fake wife for long as he would let you.

Joel’s face turns to you. His eyes glance straight into your very being, the lights dance among his endless earthen eyes. You want to get lost in the twinkle, already hating how badly you feel drawn to this man.

You try taking in every ounce of Joel here under the cloak of lights. He’s a dream, this fake husband of yours, one that feels like you’re simply allowed to admire but never touch.

Being this close to him, your eyes unfortunately drift to his lips. How bad would it be to kiss this man?

There’s plenty of songs about kissing Santa Claus. Would you simply not be embracing the holiday spirit?

A distant car horn honks and causes you to jump, breaking the hypnotic spell Joel has cast on you. Walking out, sadly heading home, you finally notice something.

It could be the shade of the lights, but the greys in Joel’s beard are starting to appear white.

-

The week before Christmas is a chaotic cluster. So much cleaning and shopping, you want to scream. Joel calls you while you’re braving the mall.

“You sound exhausted, honey.” He says, and the pet name isn’t lost on you.

But it is lost on your rant though. You’re exhausted from trying to find these specific dang muffins your grandmother only refuses to eat while also trying to find a gift for your cousins.

“Gift cards are a lifesaver for a reason.” He comments casually.

“You grant Christmas wishes for a living, and that’s your answer.” You snort.

“I’ve delivered my share of ‘em, so hell yeah they are.”

Even in the mess of the mall’s chaos you laugh. In such a short amount of time, Joel’s presence in your life has solidified steady, unwavering, like he’s always been here. Long chats on drives home, him dropping by with groceries to deliver, it all unfolds so natural. You’re even heading over tonight to have dinner with him and his brother Tommy.

Once you’re back in the car, you notice a new bag sitting in the backseat.

Reacting in you discover not only the damn elusive dinner rolls you’ve been searching for, but a pack of gift cards.

A sticky note sits on top of them.

Don’t hate the gift card

-J

You blame the Yuletide spirit in the air, but your heart soars. It’s like you’ve been swept into a Christmas special. But, you’re waiting for the bad ending to come.

These feelings for Joel have only multiplied, taking root deeper in your heart. The sugared admiration for him now grows fangs becoming a dazed lust. You’ve had dreams of him sweaty and golden above you in bed. You ache to know what he sounds like, to know the feeling of him inside you, to get drunk on his taste.

Heading over to Joel’s you kick away those dangerous thoughts you have for your husband.

A sweet woman answers the door, who introduces herself as Maria, Tommy’s wife.

“Nice to finally meet Joel’s not so secret, secret wife.” She grins. Guess that meant she knew the secret too.

She knows more than you even do as she guides you out back. The shed sitting in the corner of the backyard is unassuming. Yet when you step inside, a full workshop, the size of a Costco, stands glimmering before you.

“It never gets old.” Maria whispers, sensing your stunned awe.

Joel finally steps into view, and you’re taken back. The white among his beard sits stronger. He’s in more comfortable clothes and the gray sweatpants are sinful on him. The sight of his strong arms, his tummy through his tight white shirt, all make you think of biting into his skin -

You yank yourself out of the feral thoughts. Especially when Joel spots you. He blinks, just as stunned as you are.

“Hey, sorry. Got shit tied up here. Y’don’t gotta stay, might not be done until... fuck I don’t even know when.” He sighs, running a hand across his face.

“Can I help?” You blurt out.

Joel blinks at you, almost like he didn’t hear what you said and even squints a bit making him as old as he is.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” You ask again.

Joel swallows. “You don’t, fuck...Ya don’t have to.”

You want to and determinedly tell him that.

His eyes widened like you just grew two heads. He recovers swiftly, nodding as he calls Tommy over. The younger Miller brother sees you and winks.

“Come on newbie, let’s getcha set up.”

You, Maria and Tommy are in charge of bulk orders making sure each package has the right amount and ready to be delivered.

“Does he… really have a list?” You ask with a whisper.

“Checks it twice too.” Tommy cheekily replies, and you laugh bubbling with disbelief, but apologize quickly.

“S’all good, trust me it took me a while to realize it’s real. But it’s something damn special once you do.”

You fully agree.

The night is long, but you don’t notice it. You get into a grove and get excited when Maria shows you some of the orders, children getting bikes, someone getting a new pair of shoes. It fills you with something luminous you can’t fully describe.

It’s a reward in itself when you finish a large order and high five Maria and Tommy.

“Well now, we finally get to meet the new Mrs. Joel Miller.” A new voice, smooth but curious, breaks the moment.

Behind you stand a small cluster of older men. You don’t know how, but you just know they’re all previous holders of the title of Father Christmas. It’s only confirmed when Tommy whispers it sharp to you. So these retired men were the ones pestering Joel.

“They usually drop by to do audits, checks and things, didn’t know they would be here this late.” Maria adds low.

“We’ve been wanting to stop by and give our congratulations, but Joel has been so keen on keeping you all to himself.” One of the older gentlemen winks.

You politely smile.

“You’re rather young.” Another man comments.

“Way too pretty for a grouch like Miller.” One, with a thick accent, teases with a grin.

Joel suddenly, as if summoned, comes rushing out from the side and immediately slides in front of you, a protective barrier.

“You’re running a bit behind schedule.” The snarkiest of the men comments to Joel. “Guess the new wife really has been keeping you away.”

Your face scrunches up pissed now, until Joel’s hand moves to hold yours, squeezing it tight.

“He even has you helping, dear?” One of the quieter men asks you, concerned.

“I’m happy to help.” You truthfully answer steady and firm.

You want to be a part of this as much as Joel allows. Not just because you’re his paper wife, but because you care for him.

All of the previous Santas now seem to survey you, practically staring straight into your soul.

“If you gentlemen are done harassing my wife I suggest y’all fuckin’ head home.” Joel barks sharp.

One of them scoffs at this reply.

The main leader of the group glances at you then back to Joel.

“You picked a good one, Joel.” He smiles with a chuckle.

“You take care of this grouch now, pretty lady.” The sweetest of the men beams at you, a twinkle in his eye.

“Get out.” Joel snaps cold, holding your hand tighter than ever.

In a blink, they’re before you, and the next, they’re gone, vanished into the wind.

Your legs feel like they’re about to give out, and you have to lean against Joel who sighs with the same relief.

In the rush, you swear you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head. Tommy and Maria greet you proud. You return back to your station, back to helping.

Until you realize it’s past 1 in the morning, and you can barely keep your eyes open.

“Hey, crash here for the night.” Joel appears besides you, steadying your arm.

“I’ll be fine, I can drive home.” You reassure him through an unconvincing yawn.

“No. You don’t need to. S’cold as hell out there, just stay here.” He urges, and you don’t want to fight him.

So you’re given the guest room and a spare change of clothes, which include an oversized UT Longhorns shirt and sweats, both obviously Joel’s.

Sliding his shirt on, your heart races. The exhaustion, you blame it on the exhaustion, when you pull his shirt up to inhale deeply. The smell is soft, comforting, a mixture of his cologne and something purely musk, purely Joel.

You wonder how bad it would be to touch yourself in his guest room. Glancing out the door to see if you’re alone, that’s when you catch a glimpse of Joel down the hall.

Busy looking at his phone, he’s shirtless and a decadent sight. You fully take in his solid build, the look of a man. His sweatpants have slung lower, revealing the thick trail of hair leading down to his cock. The pudge of his belly is beautiful.

He’s beautiful, and you want him more than anything.

The next morning he’s gone, already hard at work. You enjoy breakfast with Maria and Tommy who you already adore even more.

“Don’t be a stranger now, it’s nice to have a new face around. Plus Joel can’t stop talking about you.” Maria’s words almost make you spit out your tea.

Tommy snickers at your reaction.

Driving back to your mom’s, you already miss the chaos of the Miller household. Arriving home, your heart sinks seeing your relatives have arrived early.

“Oh, back from staying over at a guy’s house? Maybe you’ll finally get a boyfriend that stays around long enough.” Even though your Aunt is trying to be teasing, you already wish she could leave.

“I think he’s a keeper. He’s older too.” You mom explains with a slow whisper, and you send her a look.

Everyone unfortunately perks up at that.

“Really? Well, you know what they say, you should always question why a man doesn’t date a woman his age.” Your Aunt, with such a judgmental tone, tries to sound sincere but it slices you deep.

“It’s not like that.” You reply feeling a new sense of dread crawl in you.

“Is it a sugar daddy situation?” Your cousin jokes, and it gets too much.

You laugh bitter, fake, then head back to your room. You wish more than ever to crawl back to Joel’s.

Back in your room, something new sits waiting for you on your nightstand.

A flower, your favorite, in full bloom has a note tied to it.

Thanks for all the help

This time Joel signs his name with a little scribbled heart.

You cherish it more than gold.

-

“I…won’t be available these new few days.” Joel reveals, almost sounds guilty.

It’s the first time you’ve finally gotten the chance to talk with him free from curious family members trying to eavesdrop.

Here in the dead of night, your heart aches for him.

“I know, kinda figured.” You grin.

He chuckles.

Suddenly a selfish thought tugs at you.

The image has been plaguing you more and more. Does dress up in full Santa gear? He has to, right?

“So do you…fully wear the whole thing? The red suit? White hat?” You ask, waiting for the answer.

“…if I say yes, are ya gonna divorce me?” Joel replies gruff.

You laugh but rush to quiet down trying not to wake anyone. But you reassure him there's no need for divorce.

“Just… kinda wish I could see it.” You admit, feeling greedy wanting to witness the sight.

Joel stays quiet.

“Maybe one day.” He mutters.

“Yeah…” maybe one day.

“Stay safe out there.” You tell him when you hear him yawning more. “And get all the rest you can.”

“Yes ma’am.” He drawls, and you melt.

You don’t hear from him after that.

You deal with more annoying family members. Enjoy some delicious cozy food. All while missing Joel.

Waking up Christmas Eve morning, you see an email.

All your loans are paid in full. It wasn’t just your loans, but your mother’s. Completely debt free - both of you. She cries. You even get teary eyed.

One of your uncles makes a dumb joke about it maybe being a mistake.

“It’s a blessing,” your mom says, grateful.

“No, it’s a gift from Santa.” You beam, knowing no one would believe you.

However, a new fear starts morphing in you.

What did this mean for you and Joel? Is the contract completed? Is this over? Was it only to say he had a wife on paper, parade you as proof, then… never speak to him again?

The questions pester and haunt you the entire rest of the day.

Then night creeps in.

“You wanna leave cookies out for Santa?” Your mom jokes seeing you grab a plate.

“Maybe, but I think I might leave out a beer too.” You reply and she laughs.

Once everyone heads to bed and leaves back to their hotels, you sneak into the living room.

Never in your life would you have imagined ever needing to wait up to see Santa. Much less as a full adult.

And it proves to be a true test of endurance. You doze off a few times but quickly snap your eyes open, worried you’ll miss him.

Checking the time, it’s almost midnight. Of all the nights you want to stay up, fighting asleep is harder than ever.

You don’t even realize your eyes have closed until the softest graze of fingers against your cheek wakes you.

Panicked, scrambling awake, you snap your eyes open and whisper Joel’s name.

Finally blinking into focus, there’s no sign of anyone here.

“Y’left out a beer for me?”

Until the softest smoothest thick accent floats out into the quiet of your living room. You left the tv on, and the light of it blends with the glow from the Christmas tree. It bathes Joel in something sublime.

No classic Santa hat sits on his head, but the way his hair is scruffy and flat, he must have been wearing it before.

But the sight of him in the crimson suit, the soft white fur lined edges of the coat, how bulky and strong he looks… You’re reminded of a rugged cowboy Santa.

It all ignites a wildfire, and now you’re wide awake scrambling out of the blankets to get to him.

Not thinking, almost possessed by some ghost of Christmas present, you rush forward and embrace him. His body, sturdy and solid, radiates a warmth that encompasses you.

“What are ya doing up?” He whispers low while you clutch onto him. You need to touch him with your own hands, feel he’s real. You also don’t miss the gloved hands against your hips.

“Had to see you.” You croak out.

You pull back to look at him.

Finally, you take him in. It’s Joel, the same grumpy Joel that’s changed the oil for your car, who has a soft spot for the stray cats in his neighborhood, and is an amazing father - but it all collides with the truth of who he really is.

A watery laugh comes out of you and you hate that immediately you’re blinking away tears.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Joel immediately asks worried, letting his hands move to rest on your arms, a comforting presence.

You reassure him it’s nothing, trying to wave this reaction off.

“You gotta tell me what’s wrong or else Christmas stops and it’ll all be your fault.” His tone is somber, but you sense the tease, a classic Joel joke among his words.

Shaking your head, you wipe away more tears frustrated at your reaction. Then his hand, gloved but striking in size, cradles your face, and he gently strokes your cheek. Joel turns your face to him.

“Talk to me, honey please.”

You don’t know how to express everything that’s in your heart. It all feels too much - the conflict of realizing where you stand with him, the doubt that brews wondering if he even holds the same affection for you.

“I don’t wanna lose you.” You admit weakly.

It’s that you can muster out, all that you can do to sum up the bundle of emotions storming in your heart.

Joel’s eyebrows furrow. His mouth drops a bit. In the low light, the shadows on his face deepen like caverns aging him beautifully.

“M’not going anywhere. You won’t lose me.” He reassures, even squeezing your face soft.

Those endless eyes that normally stare so direct and with such a magnetic force, now flicker away almost boyish and shy.

“I’m the one afraid of losin’ you.” He mutters, like he’s admitting it more to himself.

His words unwrap your heart releasing so many emotions.

“Joel.” You whisper, a bit hesitant, and his gaze draws back to you.

He seems closer now, his coal-like eyes brewing something untouchable. Silence, a soft shift settles, you taking him in, and him doing the same for you.

You don’t know who moves first. But in a blink his lips descend onto yours.

His mustache tickles. His lips hold a hint of something sweet sugary, indulgent, or you wonder if that’s just Joel.

Strong gloved hands clutch onto you holding your tighter against his frame. He tilts your head, allowing him to kiss you deeper, and your mouth willingly opens begging for more of him.

It isn’t lost on you that you’re kissing Santa Claus, like a cheesy holiday song. But it’s the fact that you’re kissing Joel Miller that melts everything away.

Your fingers find his hair, running through his soft gray locks you’ve dreamed about. Joel groans, and you already want more.

With ease, he lifts you up with one arm and you squeak into his mouth. His chuckle vibrates against your lips, ticklish, until he starts to kiss your jaw, nibbling on the path of your skin.

You sigh, closing your eyes and drawing him closer when he places you back on the couch. Your legs curl against his waist, locking him in as you try molding into him, with him, as much as you can.

His lips find yours again, this time there’s a fevered edge to them. His tongue is messy, licking into your mouth desperate. You moan when he sucks on your tongue.

A blazing hunger takes over making your hips grind against him. Feeling his gloved hands slide up your legs, you whine digging into him harder.

Until he suddenly rips himself away, leaving you feeling empty missing his warmth and body against you.

“Shit…Really gotta go, honey. I can’t say.” Joel sighs. His heavy breathing, the tightness of his jaw, this is as hard for him as it is for you.

“Can’t you be a little late?” You softly question rising back up to kiss up his scruffy beard.

He groans when you softly kitten lick at his upper lip.

“Fuckin’ naughty little thing.” Joel growls.

You softly kiss his lips again.

“Guess that means I’m on the naughty list huh?” The joke slips out, and you already want to hide after hearing yourself.

Joel groans, but this time it’s ripe with embarrassment. You hide your face while he snickers.

“That was bad.”

“I know,” you agree mortified.

Even in your embarrassment, Joel presses a kiss to the crown of your head, and every worry melts away.

He stands up, pulling you gently up with him. Gathering you into his arms, this time Joel feels larger than life but also closer than ever, like he’s stitched inside your heart now.

“When will I see you again?” You hate how badly you miss him already.

“Soon, I promise.” He reassures rubbing your back softly, and you nod back.

His hand moves to hold your face again, gently, like you’re a precious treasure.

And you think he might be yours.

Joel kisses you, the softest sweetest press of his lips that melts into your bones. And when you open your eyes, he’s gone.

All that’s left are the faintest hints of snow flurries on your living room floor…

And of course he made sure to take his beer.

-

When Joel said he’d see you soon, you didn’t think it would be the next morning, Christmas morning.

Softly a hand brushes against your face, slowly waking you. You find yourself back in your bedroom. The soft glow of the winter morning spreads a gentle light that covers your room.

Joel is here, kneeling beside your bed, and immediately you turn towards him.

In this light, his greys look softer, thicker in their shade, like beautiful white streams run from his temples. And his beard looks as if snow flurries have been peppered in more. The red velvet of his suit looks brighter. Your fingers run across the fabric, across his shoulders.

You whisper his name, yet a sadness creeps in again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he nods.

“Are you okay… with us?” It’s a stumbled way to ask, but it’s all you can get out.

Is he okay that you’re much younger than him?

“Yeah, of course.” He nods.

“Actually, Ellie and Sarah were the ones who told me to go for it.” He admits fondly, sleepily.

“They said I needed to be selfish for once, let myself have this…”

His eyes watch you as you sit up to reach him.

“Is that why you were so cold when we first met?” You ask.

Joel nods, sighing.

“Felt awful knowing I was doing this to you, someone so dang young, so fuckin’ beautiful. Hated that you were stuck with a mess of ‘n old man like me.”

“I’d pick you everytime.” The words escape fast. You can’t even stop them.

Instantly he swoops in kissing you with an unchained passion that makes you dizzy.

Immediately you tug at him, begging him to crawl onto the bed. You sigh in bliss when he does, making your mattress creak ever slightly with his glorious solid frame.

His kisses are drenched in a poison intoxicating you.

Clutching onto Joel’s shoulders, you lift your hips when his gloved hands tug at your pj pants.

That’s when you hear the faint laughter of everyone downstairs awake. You freeze. Joel senses your hesitation. That gorgeous nose of his nuzzles against your jaw breathing in the scent of you.

“Y’gonna be a good girl and keep quiet for me?” His thick low voice is all you need because you’re nodding yanking at his shoulders to kiss him again.

This kiss dances along the edge of something fierce and wild, like you’re trying to contain it, hold it back before it spreads and someone hears.

Until Joel’s gloved fingers slip inside your wet heat, and you slap a hand over your mouth to hold back a moan. Feeling his black leather glove inside you has your eyes roll back. Then when you rest your head against the soft fur lining of his coat, it creates such a dizzying sensation you want to get lost in.

“Oh fuck.” He drawls, hoarse.

His fingers pump in and out of you, and the squelch of your wetness sounds downright obscene now. Joel revels in it.

“Letting this ol’ man winter fuck ya while everyone’s down stairs waiting…Y’like that baby?”

You whimper, nodding, clutching onto him harder trying so hard to keep quiet. Then he removes them from your pussy and you whimper at the loss.

Until he draws his gloved fingers, shining and coat in your arousal, up to your lips.

“Can ya clean ‘em off for me?” He mutters.

Without hesitation you pull them into your mouth and suck, letting your tongue wiggle across the leather. You moan tasting this union of you and the leather.

“Shit,” Joel croaks like he got punched in the gut.

Quickly he yanks his hand out from your mouth, rips his gloves off and kisses you feverish.

“Need to feel ya.” He sounds drunk as you feel, even more when his bare fingers thick and warm slip into you again.

He makes you come so fast it knocks you breathless, feeling hot even with the cooler temperature in the room. You whisper begging him to fuck you, to take you here before he heads home -

“Can’t darlin’, but soon I will. I promise.” He reassures you kissing your lips over and over.

“And Santa always keeps his promises, yeah?”

That shouldn’t be so hot, but it is. You greedily kiss him, trying to devour him even more.

“Jesus,” he growls, his accent thicker than ever. “Makin’ it so fuckin’ hard to leave.”

“Then don’t.” You beg.

But then the voices downstairs get louder, and the smell of food warming up floats in.

Joel sighs deflated. You know this is the end for now.

Rubbing his wonderful nose against yours, you lean to press your forehead to his. He breathes out your name, and it sounds like a blessing.

“Merry Christmas, honey.” He whispers softly to you.

A knock comes at your door, and in a panic you drag your blanket up around you.

“You awake yet?” Your mom jokingly asks.

You definitely are now. Of course Joel has vanished.

But something tickles the top of your head. Bundles of mistletoe, twisted among so many lovely ribbons, bloom all along your bed frame.

-

One Christmas Later

“Did I ever show you the shirt Ellie and Sarah sent me last week?” You ask, and Joel, half paying attention, hums.

He pulls his attention away from the Dallas Cowboys game long enough to glance at your phone.

The shirt reads - Mrs Claus but Married to the Grinch

He rolls his eyes, not finding it as amusing as his daughters did.

“Or what about this one.” You show him the next option.

This one, in bright gold lettering, says - Santa’s Sexy Girlfriend

“No.” He flat out pushes the phone away making you laugh and lean against his strong shoulder.

This would be the last night before he heads out on his run. This will also be the first night you get to see him leave, and the first night you’ll get to wait for him now living at his home.

The memories and days that have brought you here are strung up in your heart, luminous multi colored tinsel you never want to take down.

“It’s actually one of the first years we’re ahead of schedule,” Tommy says when you greet him back at the workshop.

“That wife of yours is really something.” Though Tommy talks directly to his brother he makes sure to wink at you.

You’re grateful you got to help out more this year, even enjoyed having Ellie and Sarah around when they came by to visit. But with Ellie now enjoying time with the girl she desperately has a crush on, and Sarah taking the day to spend time with her new boyfriend, it really would just be you and Joel.

A delicious heat crawls in you knowing what you had waiting for him.

But you almost forget about it when you start helping Joel get dressed.

Your throat dries seeing him buckle up his crimson pants, then helping him slide his thick coat on and how broad it accentuates his shoulders…

“You keep lookin’ at me like we’re gonna get behind schedule.” Joel mutters sinful.

“We’re ahead of schedule. We could…mess around for a bit.” You offer light.

“No, being ahead means I can come home earlier.” He very playfully and lightly smacks your ass.

You hate when he’s right.

With a kiss goodbye you send him off returning to the quiet home. You’ll have a day and a half before Joel officially returns. So you spend your time binging multiple movies.

You’re also thankful for the stash of extra cookies you finally found. Joel ‘I ain’t got a sweet tooth’ Miller isn’t so slick with his hiding spots.

The film your best friend recommended is cheesy. But during the scene where the main love interest comes to interrupt the engagement party to announce he loves the bride, cause you to pause.

In theory, you are Joel’s wife. Your mom even jokes that she practically has the most perfect unofficial son in law, if only if she knew the truth. Yet, you don’t have a ring, don’t even use Miller as your last name.

It’s silly, you tell yourself and try not to think about it too much.

So you instead enjoy more cozy snacks and the rare bits of snow Austin is getting this time of year. It’s magical, paints the world like something straight from a Thomas Kinkade dream.

The morning comes when Joel will be home, and you sit waiting on the bed. Don’t even mind you work up early for this.

Earlier confidence surged in you when you slipped into the gorgeous lingerie set. Now it itches on your skin as you sit worried. The bow sitting on your bra might be too much. You almost bought the cute risqué Santa nightgown, but you hesitated.

You didn’t feel like you could truly even joke about being Mrs Claus when you didn't even fully consider yourself Mrs Miller.

“Honey?” Joel announces stepping into the house, and your heart jumps into your throat.

“In here!” You yell back.

Waiting on the bed feels like an eternity passes before Joel opens the door. There’s still snow on his shoulders. His hair is starting to grow out more so it curls around his ears. He’s never looked more gorgeous.

Then his face falls and his eyes become full moons taking in the sight of you before him.

“Oh baby,” he whispers like he can’t believe his eyes.

You grin sleepy.

With eased measured steps Joel walks forward, and you’re reminded of a hunter trying to approach his prey.

He drags his fingers, ungloved, warm and callous from all the hard work he does, up your exposed skin leaving a trial of heat in their wake.

“Can I unwrap my present?” He mutters, allowing his fingers to drift with. Delicate touch across the top of your breast barely kept in by the lace covered bra.

“Yeah, Joel please.” You sigh, closing your eyes when his large hand suddenly grasps, squeezing your breast.

The poor lingerie doesn’t make it out alive.

Now you drift in and out of sleep, naked in his arms. Joel kisses your forehead promising he’ll buy you as many new sets as you want.

“Merry Christmas to both of us.” You dryly joke.

He laughs, but it sounds a bit weak, more like a cough.

“Uh, speaking of Christmas gift… y’want yours now or later when we wake up?”

That makes you bolt up fast from his arms.

“I told you not to get me anything, Miller.” You protest, glaring at him.

Joel rolls his eyes.

“You’re telling me of all people not to get you something?” He scoffs.

“Then I don’t want it.” You stubbornly pout back.

“Alrighty then, I’ll return it tomorrow.” Sleepily he shrugs and turns on his side giving you full sight of his glorious sun kissed bare back. You try not to linger on the scratch marks you left behind.

Now you persistently tell him to give it to you.

“Sounds like what you were saying a few minutes ago.” He teases with a smirk glancing over to you from his shoulder.

Now you roll your eyes.

“Give me the gift Miller, or else.” You shake his shoulder trying to sound somber like Joel himself, but a smile tugs at your lips.

Dramatically, he groans sitting up.

“Making an old man like me get up after the long ass night I had.” He says reaching over to his nightstand.

“Oh please, if I asked you to go another round you would.” You scoff.

“You wanna?” He asks with a curious mutter, and you shove his shoulder again playful.

“Fine, fine.” Joel grumbles.

After reaching under the bed, he returns back with a box…covered in dinosaur wrapping paper.

“Look, it was the only one I had left over here.” He explains seeing your confusion.

“Joel, you work at a magical workshop where there's an endless supply of cute Christmas wrapping paper. Why didn’t you grab some?!” You laugh.

“Didn’t wanna mess up the inventory.” He huffs, grumpy and classically Joel.

“You gonna open it or am I gonna have to hide it again?”

At his words you greedily rip off the paper.

You guess by the size it looked like a shoe box and it is, a familiar box you thought you threw away. Now you’re confused.

Opening it, inside is an even smaller box. This one is classically wrapped in green and red with a shining bow on top.

But when you pick it up, you discover the tiny box is heavy. There’s also a latch at the back begging for you to lift and open.

Inside sits a ring, dancing with a shimmering sparkle.

You already fight back the tears.

Is this what you think it is?

Whipping your face to Joel he seems hesitant, worried, while he keeps his focus on you.

“I know we might’ve done this backwards but…” he reaches for the ring, gingerly pulling it out.

“Wanna make it official now.”

You inhale sharp.

“Honey I’ll get down on one knee if you want, but might take me a while to get back up…” he jokes, but the edge of his voice is watery, shaky, like he’s the one barely holding on.

“But…will you marry me again-”

You don’t even let him finish before you rush to kiss him. The tears come, fast and free like a wave, but they’re beautiful. You embrace it all.

Joel slides the ring in your finger. The weight of the beautiful metal feels wonderful against your skin, but you don’t notice it. Not when you’re swept up in making love to your Joel, your fiancé.

The love bursting through your heart could swallow you whole and you would let it.

“I love you,” he admits against your skin, breathing out like he’s finally found a moment of rest.

“I love you too.” You rub his back soaking in the bliss among the sweat and heat of his body against yours.

It’s just you and your Mr Claus.

“I’m glad Santa granted my wish.” You mutter dreamy, not caring how embarrassing you sound.

That is until Joel lifts his head up, those wonderful eyes of his shine brighter than any northern star.

“Mine too, honey.” He mutters, kissing you tenderly, a sweet promise of more beautiful Christmas days to come.

[secretsandwritinggs]

Baby, you're my sugar

pairings - Cobra Kai characters x you/non-binary reader

kg's notes - i just wanted to make something that was cute, fun, and overall a new layout of how I would present my headcanons. so here are the Cobra Kai characters sharing their favourite sweets with you, because they love you!

Demetri Alexopoulos - he would really love to share a Whatchamacallit or Cherry airhead with you and tear off small pieces and feed them to you. he goes from doing that to having it in his mouth to 'feed' you like that when you know the truth is he wants a kiss from you which you happily accept with chocolate on your face from the Whatchamacallit.

Miguel Diaz - he would love lots of Spanish candy and would tend to bring you back a lot of it, especially since he makes frequent trips to Mexico to visit family. the different varieties and textures make you both excited (and nervous) to try them and he'll make sure to take note of which candies you prefer so the two of you can enjoy them together, even if some of them aren't in his personal preferences but he likes seeing you happy.

Robby Keene - he's definitely spicier than anything actually sweet, but he tries to get something not so spicy for you to try, which makes you scoff and say you could handle it. he looks at you funny knowing that you're either lying to him or telling him the truth, either way he's intrigued about how motivated you are to try his "spicy" candies. if he doesn't eat candy he shares the corn nuts with you and you say the ranch flavor is your favourite.

Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - he's the type who really appreciates sour candy and if you don't like it he's willing to share his dark chocolate with you. he wasn't raised eating candy, so you two would share a slice of fruit like: watermelon, apple, orange, or whatever kind he has in his pantry the moment. you actually started his love of chocolate (he would never admit this to your face but he would tell Demetri and Anthony) after telling him to get you some during your period since it helped you with the cramps, even though he retorted with a banana when you asked for the chocolate.

Anthony LaRusso - he would get the little variety packs like Kit Kats, Buenos, or anything chocolate related. he's not a big fan of regular-sized or larger chocolate (like King-size Hershey bars), since it now makes him uncomfortable to eat so much chocolate again. he would unwrap it and feed it to you instead of allowing you to make it yourself, although he would only allow you to take a couple of pieces of chocolate before hiding it in his room. he got better at hiding candy because you were sneaking around while he was trying to hide it once.

Samantha "Sam" LaRusso - similarly to Eli, she would rather eat fruit than real candy, but she sometimes eats real candy and it normally comes from Italy instead of here, America. she's not a fan of chewy or gummy candy, so the cappuccino candy she likes comes as a hard candy to make it last longer, plus she says it's better than the coffee you might get at a coffee shop. you're on the fence about that. it's not your favorite thing while it's hers and you offered her yours to see if she would like it and that is to be determined…

Tory Nichols - she's used to sharing a lot of things especially with her brother (Brandon) because that's all she knows, so it's no surprise when she offers you pieces of her chocolate. she's more on the bitter side of things like something rich—an espresso or a cappuccino if you will for her chocolate, although there are rare times when she would eat Sour Patch Kids or Jolly Ranchers (blue raspberry and watermelon are her favorite flavorus).

[I will add Kenny, Shawn, Aisha, and the adults depending on how well this does and I still need to finish my fic and the last two suggestions in my drafts right now]

[saiyanprincessswanie]

Mine - Part 5

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Word Count: 4235

Chapter Summary: Steve struggles with trust issues until a friendly face stops by. He knows he has to start somewhere so why not something that will mean everything to you? Steve and you discover that you will soon be having a child together. Will this news break you down or will it give you the future you always wanted?

Chapter Warnings: Some angst, fluff moments, learning to trust, smut, fingering, brief hand job, multiple orgasms, Stockholm Syndrome & pregnancy kink.

A/N: This chapter isn’t dark like the other ones. This is the final chapter but there will be an epilogue later on.

A/N 2: header by @fictional-affairs and thank you to my beta reader @lfnr-blog-blog-blog

To catch up on the series read here: Mine - Series Masterlist

Reblogs & Comments are welcomed and encouraged. Even if you leave an emoji you will make my day. 😊💜

I do NOT consent to translating or reposting my work on any social media platform, app, or third-party site. If you see my work anywhere besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts, it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫🚫

It’s been a week since you both decided to start over again. Building trust was important to both of you and being honest, whether one wanted to hear the truth or not, was just as important. You and Steve were able to start this unconventional relationship by talking about anything and everything.

Of course, Steve wanted to talk about your future and what you both wanted or saw in the next five years. His answer was simple: he wanted to be married and have kids. He wanted everything he had ever dreamt of and he saw that future with you.

Yours you hesitated on at first. Yes, you wanted to get married in a small intimate wedding and eventually wanted to start a family. You also desired a little freedom to be able to do all of this one day as you wanted to shed the rocky start you both had. It was important to also be able to get your super soldier strength back as you wanted to feel normal again and not this frail human being he reduced you to. Steve told you he would think about that one and that you needed to earn it.

The sex was also amazing between the two of you. It was as if you were a newly married couple on their honeymoon as many times as you did it throughout the day. The pleasure you would pull out of one another drove the cravings to new heights. This had to be the highlight of your days spent with him. However, you did worry about the lack of birth control not being used.

Though as amazing as that was, a part of you deep down inside still felt trapped and wanted to escape. The other part argued that you have one of the best setups in your life and you could finally be with the one man you always had feelings for. You had the house you wanted, the man you wanted, and this could be the life you always dreamt of. Maybe it didn’t start like you thought but you deserved to have this dream come true even if Steve was still controlling and watching you like a hawk at every moment.

Your days seem to become repetitive as well and that starts weighing you down. Something was missing in your life and you knew just what it was, friends. You missed hanging out with Natasha. You missed the gossip, the laughs, and especially the training with her. Is this something that Steve would allow you to have again? This was a conversation you will need to have with him.

For now, you stayed curled up on the couch reading your favorite book while Steve was on the phone with Tony just outside the door. He watched you with curious eyes, making sure you didn’t run like you had in the past. Though he told himself this was a new start and he had to learn to trust you to do the right thing. The call wasn’t long and it was mainly catching up. Steve also placed an order for food and supplies they would need for the month. Steve was sure to give a list of things you asked for that would make your stay comfortable. When he was done he hung up the phone and walked into the house.

You looked up from your book and met his deep blue eyes. You couldn’t help but smile at the man you loved. Patting the seat on the couch next to you, Steve took the hint and sat down. Your hand held his momentarily as he got comfy next to you. Taking a breath you worked up the courage to ask him a question.

“Steve, what would you say to me reaching out to Natasha? I mean she was my best friend after all and I miss her dearly. I miss the talks with her and the support she gave me. I need to have someone to talk with besides you.”

You bit your lower lip and worried maybe you stepped over the line. But Steve gave you a reassuring smile as his hand tightened around yours.

“I think we can work that out. I know Nat has been bugging me since you came here. She really misses you as well. Just know she won’t try to help you escape. She will just be your friend only.”

Steve stared at you as he watched his words sink in. You nodded your head in agreement knowing full well that Nat wouldn’t help you since Steve had hinted at that before. You had a feeling that all the Avengers were in on this which broke your heart initially. Little did you know that they each were out for a partner to call their own? For now, you continued to make the best of your situation despite all your mixed feelings.

Steve was a man of his word and Natasha came to visit you both a week later. He was outside talking to her while you waited patiently in the living room. You wondered what Steve was saying to her. Was he placing down rules for the visit or having a friendly chat? Your nerves were starting to get the best of you until you heard the door open and shut. Looking over your shoulder you saw Nat and Steve walking into the room smiling. Nat practically ran to you as you stood up from the couch. Her arms wrapped around you and you smiled hugging her back.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Nat whispered into your ear.

Tears formed in your eyes as you whispered the same thing to her. “I’ve missed you too.”

Steve watched as you both embraced and he could see the smiles on both of your faces. If this is what you needed to make you more comfortable and trusting around him, then that needed to be. Steve cleared his throat to get both of their attention.

“I hope you two have a wonderful time catching up. If you need me I will be outside.”

As he turned on his heel to leave you called out for him, “Steve?”

He turned to look at you.

“Thank you for this. I appreciate it.”

Steve nodded and headed outside to get some work done.

When you both were alone you sat on the couch facing each other. Nat smiled at you as she took in your appearance. She was good at always reading you.

“So how are you doing? This is me asking as your friend, not Steve’s spy.”

“I’m doing well. I mean what’s there really to say? I was forced here by Steve, the man I have loved for years, to become some housewife or sex object to him. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy the sex now but everything started so badly between us.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear you at least love him. I get how things started out was rocky for you but are you pleased with him now?” Nat inquired.

You sighed and nodded your head. “I’m as happy as I can be in my situation. I’m still mad he won’t let me have my super soldier powers back. He said I had to earn it. I don’t even know where to start Nat with that. He may never give me that back and I’m tired of feeling frail all the time. I mean even now as we speak I’m not well. I started throwing up a few mornings ago and I feel like death. I’m tired and I just can’t keep up with him.”

Nat looked at you up and down taking in your features. A soft smile played on her lips. “When was the last time you had your cycle?”

You started to think of the last time you had it. “I think the last time was before Steve brought me here. You don’t think I’m pregnant do you?”

“How often do you have unprotected sex?” She questioned.

It was at the moment your stomach felt ill again. “I-we have it daily. Like several times a day.”

Nat grinned at you. “I have to say you’re glowing. I just so happened to bring some tests with me as Steve asked me to. Here let me get you one.”

Nat walked over to the dining room table and opened a bag she had with her. Taking the test she handed it to you. “Go and take it. I will wait for you here.”

You grabbed the test from her and practically ran to the bathroom on the first floor. Quickly, you took the test and sat it on the counter. The test felt like it was taking forever to give you results. You were thinking how you just told Steve over a week ago that you wanted to wait. What would you do if this came back positive? Heck, you did want a child one day but not now while you’re trying to figure this relationship out.

A knock on the door had you panicking as you looked down to see the result was indeed positive. A gasp left your mouth as another knock and Nat’s voice filled the air. You opened the door with tears streaming down your face. Nat looked at you and hugged you instantly knowing what the result was.

“I’m not ready Nat. Not now while we are working through everything.”

Nat just held you running soft soothing circles on your back. “You’re ready my friend. This is what you have always wanted with the person you’re with. It may be a shock now but let it sink in over the next few weeks. I know Steve is going to be very excited to hear the news.”

As if the news wasn’t shocking enough the door closed behind Steve as he entered the room. “What news?” he asked as he took in your distressed look and tears.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Steve takes a few steps toward you and Nat. His voice is laced with concern.

You let go of Nat and take a few steps back, trying to put distance between the two of you. Honestly, you weren’t sure how to feel. Everything was starting to feel rushed instead of flowing naturally between you and Steve. The room started to get warm and your vision started to tunnel.

“Hun you don’t look okay. Why don’t you sit down.” Nat asked as you stumbled in the living room.

The room felt like it was spinning and you felt sick to your stomach. This is all a bad dream you were telling yourself. You started to hyperventilate which caused Steve to move quicker so he was now by your side holding your shoulders.

“Sweetheart, what do you need? You’re starting to scare me.” He stated, taking in your features.

“I’m gonna be sick.” You exclaimed, pushing him away and running to the bathroom. You emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet as Steve stood outside the door.

“Nat, I’m worried. She’s been throwing up a lot lately. I’m thinking we need a doctor to see why she is so sick.”

Nat shook her head. “Steve, can't you see she’s not sick like a cold, she’s pregnant. All those mornings being sick to her stomach and she hasn’t had her cycle since before you brought her here. You both are gonna have a baby.”

Steve stood there shocked by what his friend was saying. He did it. He finally did what he set out to accomplish. This child was going to bind them together forever. Now he just needed to get married to her to make it official.

“I-I’m going to be a dad?” Tears filled his eyes as he watched you flush the toilet and sit up against the wall.

Steve knelt next to you and gently hugged you. You weren’t feeling all that great but let Steve do as he pleased. He held you close as he whispered how much he loved you.

“We’re gonna be a family sweetheart. Can’t you just picture how perfect our lives are gonna be?” Steve went to kiss your forehead but you pushed him back causing him to land on his butt.

“No Steve this is not perfect, nothing about this is perfect. What we needed was time together to work on us. I still needed time to adjust to this life you threw on me. Now I have to focus on a baby instead who is gonna grow up with a psychopath for a dad.”

Steve stood up, towering over you. “I’m not a psychopath. I’m not the bad guy here. Remember it takes two people to make a baby. You never complained once while we made love. I get that you’re scared but I would watch your tone with me.”

You stood up from the floor and stared angrily into his dark blue eyes. “I never asked this in my life. Remember I’m the victim here. Now bringing a baby into the equation they will be a victim as well. Where are they supposed to make friends in the middle of nowhere? Go to school? They will wonder why I can’t go anywhere.” Tears started to fall from your eyes. “I feel suffocated being in this house all the time and having no freedom. Right now you are ruining the one time I could see a friendly face. I just can’t handle this anymore.”

Nat walked in between the two of you and held you while you cried. Steve stared at the two women and was about to say something when Nat shook her head no. Angry with how this took a turn for the worse Steve headed for the door and left slamming the door behind him.

“Come on dear, let's go sit down. The stress isn’t good for a baby.” Walking to the couch you both sit down, not saying anything for several minutes.

“Nat, what am I supposed to do?” You whispered.

“Do you love Steve?” She asked.

You gave her a weird look. “Why does that matter?”

Nat chuckled, “Don’t be difficult 'cause you're mad it’s a simple answer. Do you love him?”

Taking a deep breath in and out you nodded. “Of course I do. I always have despite everything that has happened between us.”

Nat smiled at you. “That’s great. Now do you regret getting pregnant?”

“No, I don’t. I’m just shocked that it happened so fast. I just feel alone in this.” You looked down at your hands in your lap.

“Breathe hun. First off you aren’t alone. You have Steve and me to help you out. You will have the best doctor who will help you through all this. Plus Bucky and his wife are about due any day now with their baby. Bucky doesn’t live that far from here and you know the guys will want to raise the kids together. So you don’t have to worry about your child being alone. I promise you everything is going to work out.”

You think about everything Nat just said and determine she has a point. Maybe things won’t be as bad as you think. Steve was starting to trust you around the house more and now with a baby on the way maybe he would start giving you more freedom. It’s not like you could run anyway, especially while pregnant. Steve would hunt you down in a heartbeat and make your life hell again. You decide to make things work for the sake of the baby. There was love and hope between the two of you. Steve was old-fashioned and no doubt was planning to propose to you now. You decided no more whining, no more doubt, that today going forward you were going to embrace your new life.

You headed upstairs to relax as Nat was leaving the house. She ran into Steve and told him about the conversation you just had together. Nat reassured Steve that you weren’t gonna run away and that you just needed time to wrap your brain around the news. Nat explained how you came out and confessed your love toward him. That she thought this was good enough to keep you together.

This made Steve happy to hear. He wished you would have expressed this to him but was grateful that you had Nat to talk with. Steve had put up all the food and supplies that Nat brought with her and she was about to leave.

“One more thing Steve. You have to give her back her super soldier powers again. She will need it during her pregnancy but will give her even more reason to trust you. This will be the right decision for you both.”

“Nat, are you sure she just won’t take off with the baby? I would be devastated to lose them both.” Steve stared at Nat with his hands on his hips trying to assess her.

“I swear to you as your friend and future aunt to your baby that she won’t run. You need to give her room to breathe.”

Steve let out a sigh. “Okay, I will do this for her.”

Nat hugged Steve and headed for her quinjet. She took off and headed back to New York.

Steve headed inside to look for you. Climbing the stairs he found you on the bed relaxing and talking to your stomach.

“I love you so much, my peanut. I can’t wait to meet you and hold you close to me. You’re gonna be your mama and daddy’s perfect little angel when you arrive.” You rubbed your stomach a couple of times before Steve interrupted you with him clearing his throat. You rolled over to see him walk into the bedroom and sit down next to you.

“Hey sweetheart, I’m sorry for getting upset earlier at you. When you called me a psychopath that hurt me. I’ve never shown you anything but love.”

You sat up on the bed next to him and took a breath. “I’m sorry for calling you that. I was just stressed and a little angry at the time. I know you have always shown me love and attention. So please accept my apology.”

Steve leaned in and wrapped an arm around you to hug you. “I forgive you. Also, I wanted to show you that I trust you by doing this.”

His fingers gently grabbed your wrist where the bracelet was and he put his thumbprint on it. The bracelet blinked a couple of times and then opened. He took the bracelet off you. Within moments you could feel your body tingle and then it stopped.

“I don’t want to control you anymore so now you’re super soldier serum should be working once again. I want us to be equals in this relationship. I want you to be able to trust me and vice versa. We are going to become a family and I want this to work between us.” Steve rubbed the back of his head and just continued to gaze at you.

You couldn’t believe what he just did. This meant so much to you that you got teary-eyed. “Steve, I don't even know where to begin to thank you. To know you trust me enough to take that bracelet off means the world to me. I want you to know I’m with you until the end of the line.”

Steve hugged you tight, kissing you on the forehead.

“God, I love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to watch our kids grow and I want to grow old with you. You bring out the best of me sweetheart and I know I can do the same with you. What I’m trying to get at is will you be mine forever by marrying me?”

Steve got down on one knee and pulled a black velvet box out of his pants pocket. As he opened it your mouth dropped open in shock as you stared at a beautiful diamond ring that was shining back at you.

“Yes! Yes, I will.”

You threw yourself at Steve who caught you easily. Your lips planted on his as you both started to kiss. Steve’s tongue caressed yours as you moaned into the kiss. Your fingers ran through his hair causing a groan from him. Steve pulled back briefly and started to take the ring out of the box, slipping it onto your ring finger. Steve lifted you with ease and gently placed you onto the bed.

“I want you sweetheart. I need to be inside you. What do you say? Will you be mine?” He huskily asked.

You nodded your head and started to pull clothes off one another. Clothes were flying around the room until you were both naked. The both of you were knelt on the bed when Steve’s fingers moved swiftly to your pussy and felt that you were already aroused. Pushing his fingers into you, you let out a gasp as he started to thrust them into you. Every thrust inside you had you moaning over and over again. Your forehead rested against his shoulder as he continued to pull you apart piece by piece. Steve made a come hither motion with his fingers against that spongy spot inside you. Within seconds you were cumming on his fingers and groaning his name. As he pulled his fingers out of you, you shoved him onto his back and straddled him.

“Sorry Stevie but I need you.”

You wrap your hand around his hard cock and start to stroke him. Your hand starts slow and steady finding a nice rhythm that has him softly cussing at how good it feels. When you see precum spilling down his tip you speed up a little making him a panting mess as you continue to play with him. But you suddenly stop and rub his cock in between your folds as you adjust above him. His cock is right at your cunt and you start to sink down on him slowly causing him to whisper out “fuck”. Slowly you start to ride him. Up and down, up and down you ride him like your life depends on it. Steve grabs your hips as he thrusts up into you. Your hands are on his chest as you circle your hips to keep up your pace with him. You both are groaning and moaning at the sensation you both bring to the other.

Steve loves seeing you on top of him like this watching you ride his cock while purring out his name. Your breathy pants and the way you take him is the sexiest thing he has ever witnessed. His right hand slides to your stomach and he gently rubs his hand there. Knowing he was the one to get you pregnant makes him feel accomplished and proud. He would keep you pregnant as much as he could. Steve longed to see the changes your body would make from your wider hips to your breasts. He would worship you every day in bed for as long as he lived. His hand moves slowly down your stomach and finds his prize, your clit. Steve’s thumb lightly starts to rub circles around it making you moan more as you speed up riding him. He knows you’re close, and can feel your walls hugging his cock tight. He fucks up into you harder and has you cumming undone for him above him.

“Oh, Steve…” You shout above him as he continues to fuck you through your high. Your fingernails scratch down his chest causing him to hiss out in pleasure and pain.

Quickly Steve rolls you to your back and starts plunging into you over and over. All you can do is hold onto his shoulders as he takes you apart again. His hips are ruthless as they thrust into you at a punishing pace. Steve knows he's hit your spot when your eyes close and you choke out a moan. Your legs wrap tight around his slim waist as you let him take you higher and higher.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. I need you to cum for me again.” He whispers down at you.

Harder and faster Steve continues to fuck you until your walls are tightening around him. You scream his name to the heavens cumming once more as he chases his end and cums deep inside you with a shout. Steve is panting above you as he pulls himself out of you and falls next to you on the bed. You're trying to catch your breath when you look over at him smiling as he kisses your shoulder.

“That was perfect Steve. Now that I have my super soldier strength back I can go several more rounds with you like before.” You wink at him and Steve lets out a growl.

“I’m going to fuck you into this mattress and have you begging for me to stop. But trust me I’m gonna be so thorough you won’t be able to get out of bed for the next few days. I’m gonna fuck this pussy every way I can imagine and make you mine again and again.

“Steve, I love when you talk like that. Now take me again…”

“My pleasure,” Steve smirked at you and kept his promise to destroy you.

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[rayshippouuchiha]

i was reading through Conspiracy Bros AU and like... Izuku gets OFA and IMMEDIATELY tells Shoto+Dabi about it, so now, as the title of the AU implies, we've got these three feral gremlin children with the Conspiracy mindset and what is at some level the MOST OP QUIRK EVER. of course, all three immediately go into Hunt Mode and scour EVERYWHERE for any and all info on the past holders (because even if AM doesnt directly tell Izuku about them there's GOTTA be others) (1/?)

and so the moment Izuku gets his grubby lil gremlin hands on that hair he's downing it and pulling out The Notebook and reviewing everything he has about OFA's past users. meanwhile, the past users are getting settled into Izuku's body and then, THEN they realize what Izuku is holding and they have Mild Panic until someone (definitely Fourth because clearly the past users can still use their quirks inside OFA and Danger Sense would be going haywire if Izuku was Evil News) (2/?)

and Fourth goes 'wait... guys wait...' and slowly everyone comes to realize that NOT ONLY are they in a Feral Gremlin Child but they are in a Feral Gremlin Child who is going to do his damndest to cause AS MUCH CHAOS AS INHUMANLY POSSIBLE. and. being the kind, benevolent, TWO HUNDRED YEARS OF BOREDOM people they are, they give Izuku Float very quickly, especially once they realize the Bird Family shenanigans. Aizawa panics. Hawks is overjoyed. All Might is concerned. end of brain dump lol (3/3)

~~~

One of my favorite flavors of Izuku&Past Holders is when they all realize that holy shit we're ALL feral in here so fuck yes

[loquaciousquark]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

This week has been hell and now that I'm finally coming to the end of it, I'm going to sit down & enjoy this! Sorry in advance for the length.

My favorite fics vacillate wildly depending on my mood, interest, and the time of year, but right now, I think this is what I've got. In no particular order:

Invicta, Invictus (2016)

Magister AU. Hawke ends up owning Fenris while in Minrathous & they fall in love anyway. This fic was difficult to write for a lot of reasons (a main one just being my fear of not doing justice to the premise and underselling the slavery aspect), and it took nearly a year to finish between the writing itself, the rewriting and additional scenes required from @jadesabre301's beta, and final edits. By the time I started posting I felt confident that I'd written something solid, but despite the otherwise positive response, I did end up receiving a series of extremely angry, lengthy critical comments from someone who basically accused me of perpetuating the glorification of rape, the enslavement of people of color, and the entrenchment of cruelty against victims of sexual assault. (I vividly remember a comparison between Thomas Jefferson & Sally Hemings.)

This came out of the blue from someone I knew & had otherwise quite respected; it was a blow that shook my confidence to the core, despite several wonderful people reaching out to me at the time, and while I finished posting the fic, I completely stopped writing otherwise. I ended up not writing anything of significance for three full years afterwards. It wasn't until I got extremely drunk on a work trip (after a personal dinner, no colleagues around) and went back to my hotel to jot down the first lines of the Hawke-is-rescued-from-the-Fade fic that I even entertained the idea of picking the hobby back up.

Now, looking back after almost ten years, I've long come to terms with her criticism. I've decided that I disagree with her, that I'm actually still okay with what I wrote, and that I'm proud of the work I did in that fic. I think the premise is good and the examination of the social and political structures is sound, and I think the fic does what it needs to where the relationship strains against the societal boundaries around it. Not to mention I think it has some of my best Fenris characterization I ever managed, and some of my better Hawke jokes. I think the letter exchange at the end is effectively poignant even after all this time (though I do wish I'd written Danarius's actual death a little differently), and I still find the ending as they approach Kirkwall very satisfying. I'll also never turn down a chance to let Varania have a moment or two.

I'm proud of this one, and I'm glad I wrote it.

A Midwinter's Carol; in Prose; Being a Ghost Story of Baldur's Gate (2023)

I think this fic has some of my best technical mimicry I've ever managed. I've always enjoyed a good stylistic parroting, but this was the first time I'd attempted Dickens, and I genuinely think I did a good job. 😂 I've always been fascinated by the mechanics of language, and I had a great time spoofing his oddly frank addresses to the reader and his serpentine asides.

It's quite short—less than 10k—but I think it does exactly what it's supposed to, and I'm genuinely proud of some of the AU elements. @eponymous-rose gave me Christmases Past and Present, so I can't lay claim to those (aside from execution), but the way Future's demand resolves & the Thayan book standing in for the door knocker were all mine, and I still think they're genius, ahaha. (I also fully acknowledge that I owe Jade big time for helping me clarify the final deal Astarion strikes.)

I think the wordplay throughout of what it means to be redeemed is well written, and I'm genuinely pleased with the turn of the mood during the Future sequence. I can tell my love of flippant characters having stark face-to-face encounters with gods is probably a little strong at the end, but Megan Whalen Turner was a formative influence, and I still love it the way it came out here. This is a fic that did exactly what I wanted it to from start to finish, and I love rereading it.

I also think Astarion refusing to participate in the narrative and Tav's modern voice against the Dickensian backdrop are utterly hilarious.

Iron Bound (2023)

This is the most ambitious project I've ever tackled, even considering Invicta above. I knew this would be a long fic, and while I'd daydreamed about scenes from it for nearly a decade, I genuinely didn't know if I had the technical ability to execute it the way I wanted. Once I finally, finally, finally sat down to write it, the words came out like butter, and I wrote almost 70k words in two weeks.

This fic was interesting because it included a love triangle, which is not something I have ever had the slightest interest in reading or writing, but I felt the relationships were strong enough between all three pillars that I wanted to give it a shot. I love Hawke & Fenris, obviously, but the Fenris + Sebastian brotherhood is likewise vitally important to me, and I've always treasured the Sebastian + Hawke friendship as well. Getting to examine all three of them closely here was wonderful from start to finish, and I loved looking at where the lines strained and grew lax as they got to know each other.

Likewise, I've also adored characters who have to face the conflict between love and duty, and this premise let me marinate in every part of the idea. Knowing that I'd be able to give them all happy endings—knowing that they'd be rewarded for doing the right thing—was very pat and yet very satisfying, and I enjoyed every minute of the tension before the resolution.

This fic was in many ways an homage to Patricia McKillip, one of my favorite authors, and also a frank wish-fulfillment exercise for me. This is the one where everyone lives. This is the one where no one suffers for too long. Malcolm, Carver, Bethany, Leandra—even Varania and Sebastian and Anders and the dog. Everyone lives. Everyone is happy and loved and fed and secure and will remain so for the rest of their lives, and I remain thoroughly unapologetic for it.

I do think (despite Jade's attempts to correct it) that there's some marked narrative clumsiness in the back third, and with a little distance I can see ways I could have revised the Danarius confrontation and the series of epilogues to hang together more cleanly. There are also some heavy-handed sequences regarding the broader world politics which I think stand out against what is otherwise fairly mature writing, and I wish I'd threaded those through a bit more deftly.

That said, I'm still immensely proud of this project, and once I finish this post I'm probably going to reread it start to finish. 😂

This Lethal Light Falls Softly (2023)

I was very passionate about the central conceit of this fic, and I think it shows. It's cleanly written with no wasted time—even rereading it now for this post, there's only one exchange I'd still tweak—and I'm very happy with the way I wrote the Tav & Astarion relationship at this stage. They're a wholly different beast to Fenris & Hawke, who are friends for seven years before they finally embark on a real relationship; Tav & Astarion know each other maybe a few weeks before they sleep together for the first time, and even with the most generous possible interpretation I don't think the game can take more than a handful of months. This meant I was writing lovers with new-to-me insecurities, and with Astarion's own basketful of bugaboos on top of that, everything felt fresh and exciting and a little terrifying. I think you can feel that energy in the prose, and I really like it.

Aside from that, I'm very happy with the solution I came up with to Astarion's vampirism. It was hardly inventive, but I did feel it was both practical and lore-friendly, and I felt like its cost (Tav's absence for Astarion, the exhaustion and battle and injuries for Tav) balanced out the number of boons it provided. It also made negating the vampiric effects an active, ongoing choice for Astarion, which I deeply prefer over more permanent solutions like True Resurrection or a god restoring him to mortality.

I also just honestly think it's just fun to read. I like Astarion being snippy and short-tempered while still being overjoyed to see Tav alive. I like Tav confronting the idea that Astarion loves her as much as she loves him and that her silent absence was an active harm to him. I think I did a pretty good job setting the scenery and conveying the appropriate atmosphere where it was important, and I think there are some turns of phrase throughout that came out quite lovely.

I also think ending on the button of him seeing himself in the mirror is hilarious. (Not pictured: Tav having to ask him to put down the hand mirror for literal weeks.)

ah! this grief like cold bells ringing (2020)

This is probably the most difficult fic I've written in terms of headspace. COVID's forced isolation was particularly awful for me, and I didn't know how to handle it except to try to write it out of me. This, like Iron Bound, contained something I never thought I'd write (rape/rape aftermath), but the gravity of the situation and the world at the time seemed to demand something likewise grave, and I ended up feeling like it was an appropriate choice. Hawke has been a tool of many kinds for me over the years, and I remain both glad and weirdly grateful for her resilience.

This was also the first fic where I felt like I didn't shy away from or veil Tevinter's atrocities (a necessary artifact of the premise). While it was hard to write, it wasn't hard to write, and looking back I'm glad I made the choices I did; I think to hamstring the severity of the moment would have broken the story's teeth and dampened the recovery which came after. The instinct to quit flinching away was the right one, and I think the fic is better for it.

I also think this is some of the most effective writing of catharsis I've ever managed. When I'm having a really difficult time and need to read a moment of recovery, the second chapter of this fic is always my first stop. I've actually only reread the first chapter a few times since I posted (usually the pain's not the part I need), but I've reread the second chapter a hundred times or more.

I also do think that the style of the prose—a little flatter and more direct than I usually write—came out well, especially given the subject matter. While I'd prefer never to go back to that emotional place, I'm glad this came out of it.

Honorable Mention:

Lacrimosa (2011). Still one of the oneshots I'm proudest of. I think it's technically proficient and emotionally very effective, and I love the structure of it.

A Detailed Accounting of the Rigorous and Remarkable Struggles Faced by One Fereldan Refugee in the Singularly Capricious City of Kirkwall, as Experienced by the Illustrious Author (2022). While the writing is not the best I've ever managed (it began life as a warm-up exercise, after all), it took ten years to finish, and I'm deeply proud of both finishing it and of the execution of several sections.

Find Me a Wayward Sun (2023). I like the emotional complexity of this fic very much. This was the first place where I felt like I really started to understand the dynamic between Tav & Astarion, especially in the complicated back half of Act Two, and I've gone back to it several times when I need to recapture that feeling of confused selfishness and nascent, uncertain affection.

[vivispec]

Hello there! I'm not even sure how to start. So I felt very disappointed by DA:TV, because of various reasons. Not trying to dampen the mood, I am super happy for you if you actually enjoyed the game! If you do not mind, could you list the things you liked/loved about the game? Help me see the "bright side"? Just gush a litte about it, I could use some positive input around my favourite gaming series of all time. :') thank you <3

Absolutely! For me, I think I always figured I was going to like this game, even if it wasn't my fave of all time? Trick Weekes always writes characters/quests that I like, and for me, story/characters come before anything else. I liked Andromeda, flawed as it was. Even if the gameplay was mediocre, I was certain I'd find something I'd like.

But the gameplay wasn't mediocre. It was actually really, really fun. I played Spellblade, and honestly, the gameplay might be a highpoint for me. I don't really like action gameplay, I tolerate it. I loved this, though.

The biggest thing that really sold me is the fact that the big choices in this game are difficult in a way Bioware has been trying to capture since Origins, but I don't think they've ever nailed until now (except maybe in Mass Effect). Even in Origins, when they had big choices like what to do with Connor, or how to deal with the werewolves, there was always a cop out choice. There isn't one in this game, so far as I can see. At the end of EVERY companion quest there was a choice I couldn't choose, something that made me wonder just what would've happened if I'd picked something different, and don't get me started on the endgame. The endgame was brutal :')

I love the characters, too! I do think some of the writing can get a bit campy or be a bit on the nose, I think some subtlety is lacking for certain characters especially in the beginning, but once shit hits the fan just about every companion has their gutwrenching moment. I felt for every single character in this game, during their act 2 personal quest moments. In all the other games there was at least one character I just couldn't care about, but even the ones that I thought wouldn't tickle my fancy snuck up on me. By the end, I loved all of them so much. I only wanted more.

I like Rook, too. I think I can see how their characterization might be disappointing, though. I think the key for me and my friend @sweetmage was finding the right Rook to play. We both had lots of concepts and while I plugged in the right one first, I know they struggled until they found the right one. Rook is kinda like Hawke in the way that they have a bit of personality already and a defined character path, which can get in the way of true RP. Once I stopped fighting it and let Rook be Rook, I liked the game a lot more, and I liked my character a lot more.

Then there's lore. Oh, lore. I have listened to or read every codex. I have a treasure trove of theories I keep locked in my head. All I need is a corkboard and some red string. Getting to see so many of those theories come to fruition? Things they've been teasing since Origins, that I picked up on when I was 12? Absolutely magical! Some of it I think they bungled--there's one reveal I've been waiting for for 15 years that I found in a note, not codex, on a bridge in Minrathous, no fanfare or anything--but the majority of it punched me right in the face with so much force I had to pause the game and do a little pacing. I won't get into specifics for spoiler reasons, but seeing all those little dots connect? seeing when I was right, and when I was wrong? SO euphoric for me!

A lot of the things I didn't like, too, like making the Crows less shitty--so easy to headcanon around, in ways that don't contradict canon! It's one of my favorite things to do, it feels like a puzzle to me, making everything that is for certain and everything I want fit together. That one, for instance, Zevran totally gutted all the shitty Crows, and left only the good ones :)

I will say, it's clear they were trying to wrap things up. I got the sense while playing it felt that they didn't want to leave any loose threads in case this was their last DA game, so that felt a bit rushed. But I loved it. To me it was a love letter, saying goodbye. Wrapping everything up in a nice little bow. I've always struggled to choose a favorite game in the DA series, they all do something I love so differently that I can't pinpoint one singular favorite, and I think this one is right up there for me, tied for 1st place with the other three games. Like DA2 and DAI I think it could've cooked just a little bit longer, there's a lot of potential for it to be a 9/10 game imho if they'd smoothed a couple of things out, but there's a lot in there for me to love.

Thank you so much for the question, I hope the wall of text will help you see a bit of the light haha. I don't mind that people didn't like it--that's just how it goes sometimes, and I think there are a lot of valid criticisms to be had. For me I was just super bummed that it was the only thing I was seeing online. I'm following lots of positivity now, so the occasional disenchantment is not a problem. Idk if it'll work for you, but @sweetmage was similarly disappointed until they streamed it with a friend, and then just having someone there to converse with it on really helped them to enjoy it. I hope you can find something to love in it, too!

[joi-me-hoi-me-noi]

Getting Kidnapped 2 - BNHA/MHA

A/n: Saw a lot of peeps like the first getting kidnapped thing I wrote so we’re doing another one with some of my favorite characters!!!

Features: Keigo Takami, Katsuki Bakugo, Nemuri Kayama & Rumi Usagiyama

TAKAMI Keigo (Hawks) -

"Jackpot!" You whisper-yell into the silent air after sucessfully finding the files the pro-hero had hidden.

As you're stuffing the bag, the door to the room you're in opens to reveal the pro in relaxing clothing. His eyes widen at the same time as yours and you both just look at each other.

"Well...this is awkward."

You look towards the window and then book it. A feather shoots past your cheek, slicing it in the process. You turn and look at him with utter astonishment.

"Wow. Hawks ruins the pretty villain's face." You wipe your cheek with the back of your hand, smiling at him.

"What's in the bag?" He points at it with one of his now sharp feathers in his grasp.

"Nothing that concerns you."

When it turns to come back towards you, you grab the end of the feather and direct it into the window, breaking it. You hop out the window with the duffel bag on. You knew he was going to chase you.

It’s all going according to plan.

You feel him grab the front of your shirt as he turns through the air. You open your eyes and look at him with a smirk.

“Where are we going?” You ask, turning your head to look back at his apartment building.

“You’re going to jail, thief.”

“Am I?”

You put your hand on his wings, controlling the feathers at your will. His eyes widen as you both start to fall. Using his feathers, you fly back to the apartment. Once you’re safe inside, you send them back to Hawks who was free falling in the night air.

You watch for a moment as the feathers immediately go to him. You turn and walk out of his apartment after you see him flying towards the window.

“Better luck next time, number two.”

——————————

BAKUGO Katsuki -

“Y/nnnn!”

You look over at your pink friend with a welcoming smile. She sits beside you on one of the common space couches.

“Minaaaa! What’s up?”

“Well…the guys and I made a bet…involving you…going into Bakugo’s room.”

You immediately turn your head away from your electronic device.

“What!?”

“All you need to do is take something from his room… like a pen or - or a pillow or something like that.”

“How much did you bet on me?”

Mina looks away before speaking.

“About 50-65 bucks…”

“Minaaa…”

“Please Y/n!”

You sigh and place your phone down on the table in front of you.

“Fine…”

Mina cheers, hugs you and then wishes you good luck. You just exhale and walk towards his dormitory door. You use your quirk to phase through his entrance and silently move across his floor.

You look over at his bed where Katsuki resided. He was fast asleep with drool and snores coming out of the side of his open mouth. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, he looked so cute sleeping.

You dart your eyes across his dorm and they land on a small All Might doll. The only issue was how close it was to his bed. Bakugo has ears like a goddamn bat. You reach forward as slowly as possible for the doll.

You’re so close but so far. You hear the bed creak and you stop, eyes moving to his face. He’s still asleep, thank god! As soon as try to grab the doll, his hand shoots out from under his pillow. Red groggy eyes meet your shocked ones.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?”

You don’t say a word before you activate your quirk and slip from his grasp. You’re almost at the door until he grabs your ankle to make your fall. He looks down at you, grabbing your wrist again.

“Why do you need that?” He eyes the doll in your hand.

“They made a bet surrounding me Katsuki. I just need to bring something from your room.”

He pats his bed, takes the toy from your hand and walks out the room. As you’re sitting on the bed waiting for him, you can hear him yelling at Mina, Sero, Kiri and Denki about gambling with people. He enters the room and flops on the bed.

“Where’s your All Might doll?”

“I threw it at them.”

“That’s not nice…”

He turns to face you on his side.

“Gambling without someone knowing is mean…”

“…Katsuki!”

“I’m speaking my truth, woman!”

He rubs his eyes and then climbs back into bed. You go to leave but the loud and obnoxious ‘ahem’ makes your head swivel. He doesn’t look at you as he holds his comforter up, inviting you in.

“Since you woke me up…”

You climb into his bed with a smug smile.

“Awww Katsuki! Can I call you Suki?”

“Hell no! Now shut up and go to sleep!”

————————————

KAYAMA Nemuri (Midnight) -

CRACK!

You let out a small quiet scream as you’re lifted in the air by your leg. You snap your head to the darkened doorway to see a sleepy midnight with her whip in hand. She just looks at you, ties the end of her whip to something nearby and sturdy then speaks to you.

“I’m taking you to the police station in a couple hours. Take a nap.”

She holds her exposed arm out at you, releasing her sleepy gas. You activate your quirk and simply blink at her. Her eyes slightly widen at you and then she shakes her head.

“You’re one tough cookie. I’m still going to take you to the police station.”

You start to struggle against her tough whip but then think of an idea out of it.

“Midnight, how about a date?”

“No.”

“Come on… please.”

“No.”

“You wouldn’t have to pay for anything…”

“Do you want me to take you to the police station right now?”

“…please.”

After a couple minutes, the police take you out of Midnight’s house. You just keep your eyes on her and smile.

“I’ll see you soon Midnight! Sleep well, sexy!”

“Have fun behind bars, Y/n.”

You look at the police officers dragging you away.

“Oh my god! THE Midnight knows my name!”

They both roll their eyes and push you into the back of their police car.

————————————

USAGIYAMA Rumi (MIRKO) -

You could hear her laughing from inside her apartment. You guessed she was either talking with someone (hopefully on the phone) or watching a funny movie. Your boss told you all about her enhanced senses such as her hearing and agility in general. He also patted you on the back and reminded you not to die… how kind of him.

Taking a breath, you activate your quirk and slink into her apartment. Her bedroom door swings open to reveal the one and only Mirko. Her ears were twitching in every direction. You were so thankful that you had a chameleon quirk.

“Someone’s in my house.”

You hear her whisper into her phone before tossing it into her room and shutting the door. She moves around her kitchen and dining room cautiously. A creak where you were currently residing creaked loudly. Her head and ears twitched in your direction before walking over.

She's standing right in front of you in minutes. You slowly move your hand over your mouth and press yourself even closer into the wall. Mirko leans in and then sniffs the air. You watch as her eyes widen, and she quickly brings her leg up to attack. You roll to the side, obviously not camouflaged anymore.

"Damn, you got a good nose on you."

You take a glimpse at the wall where she kicked, and your face dropped. There was a very long hole in the wall. You might be meeting Jesus today if you're not careful. She rushes toward you, preparing to grab you with her legs. You change your body texture to become slimy and slip away from her grasp.

"What even are you, villain?"

"A chameleon..."

She charges towards you again with vigorous attacks. You start to counterattack with your tail before shooting your tongue out and restricting her movements.

"Damn, I'm only trying to grab one thing."

You watch as she struggles against your tongue and growls at you with an angry grimace on her face.

"This isn't a fair fight!"

"I wasn't even trying to fight you! You decided to come to me."

You rummaged through her house, trying to find her information or anything important. While your back was facing her, a sharp kick connects with your arm. You look at her and see that she was now closer to you. This bitch really found a way to scoot her ass over next to you.

"Mm... smart little bunny."

You watch her face at the nickname. She fucking hates it LOL.

"Alright, I got what I came here for. Bye bunny."

You stand up, slurped your tongue back into your mouth and then headed towards the door. She gets up again and comes after you. Her legs were obviously aiming for your head, so you simply dropped to the floor and grabbed her leg with your tail. You throw her down on the ground and then leave. You see her door open to reveal her once again.

"You just don't quit..."

You step into the elevator and the doors close. You could hear her screaming and banging on the elevator door as you descend. Something inside you feels terrible for her but you just continue to your getaway car.

—————————————

Check out the master list here —> link

[bwabys-scenarios]

If you haven't already, I'd love it if you could elaborate on perv!Kurapika 🤭

Omg gladly 👀

warnings: general perv behavior, panty/vibrator stealing, peeping tom, masturbation

So Kurapika is generally seen as a sweet, polite man. He doesn’t seem to have much interest in anything romantic or sexual. But god can looks be deceiving.

So you and Kurapika are friends, maybe took the Hunter exam together with him and the other 3. You’re sweet, motherly towards Killua and Gon, and have a soft figure.

At first, Kurapika doesn’t realize he has feelings for you, and even if he did he wouldn’t act on them in the beginning. He’s a little frustrated, he has a mission to complete and he can’t let his feelings get in the way.

It’s when his little crush turns into sexual desire that he gets really pissed. Why are you so cute? Why did you wear that shirt skirt when meeting him today? The wind blew and he saw your underwear, now he can’t stop thinking about that moment.

They were just a pair of white cotton panties, so why can’t he get the image of your ass out of his mind? He is a little perturbed with how hard he gets the next time he sees you and you’re wearing a dress with a revealing neckline. You even joking tell him your eyes up here, which makes the blonde turn red in embarrassment.

You don’t often catch him staring. When you do, your brush it off. He isn’t talkative, so you assume he’s just staring off into space.

Oh that isn’t true at all. He watches you like a hawk, catching anything that could be remotely seen as lewd. Your vanilla ice cream dripping down your chin, your boobs bouncing when you run to meet him, your nipples getting hard through your shirt the one time he showed out of nowhere in the middle of the night, giving you no time to put on a bra.

Your house becomes the closest place to a home to him. He knows the layout by heart. The kitchen, living room, bathroom, your room. He stays over often after a lengthy mission, usually up to a month. When you’re gone, he’ll hesitantly sneak into your room and peek into your drawers.

If you have any sex toys hidden, he’ll turn red and pick them up, sniffing them slightly. He’ll be disappointed to know they weren’t freshly used, but he’ll still pocket one of your vibrators to play with later. After all, you have several.

He steals a few pairs of panties, some that you won’t miss. He prefers the more mundane looking ones, your white cotton panties being his favorite. They’re the first pair he saw, so they’re his now. Every once in a while he’ll take one of your favorite pairs, but he’ll always return those!! They may be a little… used tho

He’ll cuddle up beneath your blankets, taking in your scent with deep breaths. A sweet moan will leave his mouth as he dips his hands under the waistband of his boxers, stroking his cock. Your sheets smell just like you, and he wishes more than anything that it was your hand on his dick and not his.

He learns your schedule, knowing exactly when you like to take showers. Kurapika will wait outside your bathroom door until he hears the water turn off and the shower curtain open, then he’ll bust in, acting nonchalant. Once you notice he’s there he’ll act surprised and flustered, hiding his eyes(but not before he gets a good luck at your naked form). “Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.”

Kurapika usually sleeps on your couch. He’ll stay up late, listening to you move around in your room. Once he hears the distinct sound of buzzing or soft moans he inches towards your door, hand in his pants. You whine out his name, and that makes him FERAL. He’ll wait until you’re about to orgasm before knocking on the door. After a moment he’ll open it, seeing the hands between your legs stiffen and your eyes go wide with embarrassment.

“K-Kurapika! What are you doing in here?”

You’ll try your best to hide yourself but he’s seen everything. You’re mortified, he’s creaming in his pants.

“My apologies, I thought I heard you call my name…”

If he’s feeling a little confident he’ll lean against the doorway with an innocent look, maybe even offer to help you out.

Kurapika is a perv but not a very confident one. He’s quite embarrassed his body reacts the way it does, and would probably die if you ever found out. Though there is a fantasy he has of you finding out and really liking how much he wants you…

He has a lot of fantasies about you, mostly about getting your pregnant or waking up to you jerking him off. He will not make a move though, he already is embarrassed enough of these feelings, I don’t think he could take rejection.

Anyways, if you two were to enter a relationship, his tendencies will only become more intense. Now that he doesn’t have to hide it, you’ll find pairs of you panties in the bottom of the hamper full of cum. You’ll wake up to him grinding against your ass, sleepily lifting his hand up your shirt to grab your boobs.

Instead of walking in on you showering, he’ll join you in the shower. His touch is innocent, combing through your hair and helping you wash your back, but it’s lingering. Soon enough you’ll feel something hard pressing against your back, and he’ll whine about how cute you are. “Could you help me out, sweetheart?”

You’ll never have to question how much Kurapika wants you, because he’ll tell AND show you.

Kurapika is surprisingly horny, with high stamina.

Honestly I could go on and on. He’s so….😩😩😩❤️

[itsabouttimex2]

hey 👋 could you please do more of platonic yandere hawks x teenage bartender reader pls ? :)) I love your work

(Aw, thank you! I’ll go back and tag this series as “Teenage Bartender” since I’ve got a few fics for it now)

Patronage

Out of all the people you’ve ever served, Mr. Takami is definitely your favorite patron. The League of Villains ranges from outright bad to somewhat decent when it comes to personality, each causing you trouble in their own way.

Mr. Bubaigawara is also pretty alright, but you have to cut him off after a while so he doesn’t drink himself to sickness. He’ll switch from thanking you for looking out for him to criticizing you for being a “mood-killer” in the same breath. You like to believe that the kinder half of him is the “real” one. It always feels more sincere, in your opinion. You try to see the good in everyone around you, after all. No matter how hard it may be, or how dangerous or depraved the individual is.

Maybe you’re an optimist, Keigo Takami thinks to himself, nursing a non-alcoholic strawberry spritzer. Or maybe you’re simply too naive to see the dangers of the killers and criminals around you. Maybe it’s a case of feeling obligated to love the unloved, to accept the spurned, to try and save those dedicated to hurling themselves headfirst towards irredeemability. Maybe you sympathize with them, with what they’ve been through in their tumultuous and checkered lives.

No matter what the reason is, what really matters is that you, in spite of whatever horrid circumstances have landed you in the middle of these villains, playing caretaker and maid and nanny to drunk, belligerent murderers…

You’re still kind.

That’s why Keigo truly believes that you, more than anyone else here, can be redeemed.

Not only because of the way you treat him, but also the way you treat your “coworkers”.

When Toga gets immediately drunk off of whatever cutesy cocktail she begged you to whip up, you help her get to a couch and make her lay down, leaving a bin by her side. When Shigaraki is having another one of his tantrums, you line up all the broken glasses and worn down equipment you have onto the countertop so he has something to focus his aggression on. You listen close to all of Spinner’s rants about Stain, even if you don’t understand a word he’s saying.

You see something in them, clearly. Keigo isn’t quite sure what it is exactly, but he’d love to know. Do you care about them? Do you think they could redeem themselves? Do you think you can off-put their suffering and bloodthirstiness by being kind? Do you consider them to be family? Do you consider him family?

You’ve been around him long enough to see him as a friend, surely. You treat the winged double-crosser with the same forthcoming kindness that everyone receives when they sit at your counter, ensuring that he’s happy, hydrated, warm, and not-

“-hurt? Mr. Takami, did you get hurt?”

“Sorry, kiddo. Didn’t quite catch that one. Run it by me again?”

“That mission ran a little long, didn’t it? Usually you’re back a lot sooner, so I wanted to make sure that you were alright, Mr. Takami. You’re not hurt, are you?”

Keigo is a well-guarded man. He doesn’t give away too much and he’s good at hiding his feelings and thoughts. Still, he can’t keep himself from smiling right now. With a gloved hand, he reaches out to ruffle your hair.

“Just fine, kiddo. Things got a little troublesome- when don’t things get troublesome, huh? But i got the job done no problem, like always.”

You try to meet his smile evenly, taking his drained glass and giving him a fresh drink in turn. There���s a moment of strange silence, something’s there’s never been between the two of you.

“I’m really glad,” you quietly admit to him, breaking the lull. “I think you’re… you’re the only one who talks to me the way you do. I don’t…”

He leans forward, propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his twined fingers. “Talk to me, pint-size. You’ve got my ear. I’ve got some time to kill.” He adds the last line just to make sure that you know he won’t mind if this takes a while. Even if he didn’t have the time… he would make it, for you.

“I really, really do like everyone! Really, I do! But it just feels… it all feels so endless, Mr. Takami. If someone isn’t mad at me, they’re puking on the floor. If they aren’t puking, they’re crying in the corner. If they aren’t crying, they’re picking fights. If they’re not fighting, they’re breaking things. If they aren’t breaking things, they’re mad at me for something. It just goes on and on, and I- I just-“

You pause, your breath hitching inwards sharply as you bury your face into your hands. You put your palms flat on the countertop, staring at your weary reflection on the polished surface.

“I’m so tired, Mr. Takami. And I feel like I’m never gonna get to take a break.”

“Okay, come over here,” Keigo guides, leading you around the counter by your hand and towards where he remembers seeing you head each night. Your personal room, he assumes. “The bar,” you try to argue as he pulls you along, “needs me at the counter. What if someone comes by for a drink?” Your words fall on deaf ears, it seems. “Most of the league is made of grown men, kid. Trust me, they can stomach a few hours without alcohol.”

He opens the door, giving himself the first view of your room he’s ever seen.

Knowing that you can’t see the face he’s making, the undercover hero allows himself to frown at the sight.

This isn’t a bedroom. This is a storage closet with a small bed and a nightstand. It’s barely four feet wide, and just about six feet long. The sort of room you’d put spare brooms and mops in, where you’d hide away a half-used gallon of drain cleaner or spare dish soap bottles you had gotten on sale. A place too claustrophobic and enclosed for anything except supplies.

But instead, this room had been given to you, a literal teenager who was giving their all to support the League in spite of getting nothing out of it.

For just a moment, his blood boils.

The League can pretend to be good. They can pretend to be heroes and freedom fighters. They can pretend that they’re fighting for a fair and just society. They can pretend that they aren’t monsters and murderers.

But this is how they treat their own. He’s always known this. The League of Villains prioritizes powerful, dangerous individuals above all else, prioritizes those who can spread chaos and mayhem in the name of their destructive goal. And you don’t fit into that powerhouse category, so you get shuffled away, tucked out of sight when they don’t have you serving them or playing babysitter to grown drunkards.

Keigo thinks he understands it, at least. But the truth is that some of the League do care for you. Twice, Spinner, Magne, Toga, Mr. Compress… all of them do care about you, as a friend or as family. And in turn, you care for them.

But he doesn’t think of that. As he helps you into the cramped bed, he thinks of “saving” you, and getting you out of here. Of bringing you home and keeping you safe from the harms and horrors of the world around you.

And there will soon come a day that you tumble out of the villain’s claws and into a hero’s talons.

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

[gojo-mochi]

hey hey! could I request for the kinktober event vampire!mihawk or demon!crocodile? also, can you put some smut and some extra spices? Like maybe mihawk getting completly adicted on readers blood? tx dear, hope ya have a good day!!

CW: Fem!reader with dress. Blood drinking (ofc), Mention of weed usage, cockwarming, fingering, p/v cowgirl position, Mihawk calls you a bitch once, overstimulation. Vampire powers. Hints of Yandere!Mihawk. 

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! Hope you enjoy it! From my kinktober event! 

Word Count: 3.7k 

You decided that you had enough of the sweaty dancing bodies on the first floor of the mansion. Bumping and pushing your way into the crowd, almost elbowing a guy in the stomach for not getting the hint that you did not want him to grind on you. Sweat dripped down your cheek as you eventually made it to the stairwell. Exploring the second floor only to find that most of the room was already occupied from the noises you were hearing. Sounds like most of them were having a good time as well. Sighing, you took your weary leg up another flight of stairs, up to the third floor of the mansion.

Finding this floor to be relatively empty, only a couple of stoners laze around the hallway or some of the open rooms you peeked in. The heavy smoke wafting through the air was enough for you to be feeling woozy, stumbling your way further down the floor and finding an empty hallway leading to a grand set of double doors. You push on it and shuffle your way in, taking in a deep breath of clean air. Enjoying how you could breathe easily without coughing your lungs out now. You rub your eyes as you take a clear look at the room you were in, lines of shelves filled with various books enter your vision.

Of course, the weird old creepy mansion has a grand library in it. It was eerily quiet in the library, you half-expected some old decrepit librarian lady to come and shush you as you shut the door behind you, the hinges creaking loudly. A sign that no one has used this place in a long while, if the small coating of dust bunnies on the bookshelves weren’t evidence enough. Still, it was better than the other hallway, a little bit of dust never hurt anyone anyway. You decided to stay here for a while, eyeing the titles of books as you walk further into the library.

“Science, History, Math too? Was the owner a teacher or something?” You ponder your thoughts out loud as you read some of the titles that caught your eye. “The Adventure of the long-nosed Liar, 101 ways to scam someone, How to Cook Oden, Finding the One Piece in your life….”  None of these really interested you, your eyes were so focused on scanning the Shelves that you didn’t realize that there was someone else in the library with you. Someone who has been watching you the entire time, from the moment you stepped into the library, his piercing golden eyes were trained on you. 

Mihawk would usually just use his power to convince anyone who finds the library to leave immediately, he wasn't about to let anyone ruin his safe haven. Annoyed that he got tricked by a certain red-haired- drunk into even coming to this party. However, when you came in, he was taken aback by your mouth-watering scent. So he stayed back, carefully watching your every move like a hawk. You were dressed as a murder victim or that’s what he believed at least, a white collared dress splatter in fake blood. He knew it was fake from the awful chemical smell that was coming from it. It was a simple costume for someone who also didn’t really want to attend this party either. 

Mihawk licks his lips as he thought about painting your dress with real blood instead, covering that awful synthetic smell with your sweet honeyed aroma instead. The fake blood was too lightly colored anyway, real blood would be a nice richer color, like the color of his favorite bottle of wine. These thoughts swirl in his head as he continues to observe your actions, scrunching up his nose as you come across some vampire themed novels. How ironic he thought silently, seeing you picked a book called “Marked by the Vampire '', raising an eyebrow in curiosity when your heartbeat quickens a bit when you skimmed through the book.

The book you just picked up just so happened to be a raunchy and steamy romance novel, one of those that the ladies in book clubs will absolutely fawn and gossip over for days. You landed on a page right in the middle of a sex scene. The poor innocent village girl who was taken captive by the dark and broody vampire was now being pinned underneath him, your eyes glued to the pages as you read on; “His fangs grazed her neck, not yet puncturing in, just a light tease. His hands groped down on her body, feeling her terrified nerves with every single moment he made. She gasps out as one of his hands roam under her dress, pulling it up and-”

“You seem quite captivated by this book, it must be an interesting read.” A rich and mysterious voice spoke out from behind you. You drop the book instantly, turning back to come face to face with a tall dark-haired stranger. He was dressed like some sort of slutty vampire? If you had to take a guess, that is, considering that he was wearing a high-collared dark cape, a brimmed feather hat, and those fancy high-waisted pants. But no shirt, so you were free to ogle at his extremely toned abs and his also very muscular arms when he bends down to pick up the fallen book.

Muscles and ogling aside, how long has he been here for anyway? Were you just too absorbed into reading to notice someone come in? The door’s hinges should have alerted you with how loud they creaked earlier. Or was he in here the whole time and you just never noticed? It gave you a dreadful feeling in the pits of your stomach. You were alone, far away from the rest of the party, with a stranger who looked like he could pick you up by the throat with one hand. You nervously start to shift away a bit from him, only for him to stop you with one glance down of his golden eyes. 

His calloused hands held the book open, right on the page where you left it. “Planning on leaving so soon? It looked like you were enjoying this book, apologize if I startled you.” His eyes switched back to the book and its pages, you could see the small movement of his pupils as he browsed over the text. “Very interesting read, I can see why you were so engrossed in it.” His facial expression was neutral but his tone gave away his thoughts on it, it had a teasing lilt to it and something else you couldn’t put your finger on. 

You chuckled out shakily, shrugging your shoulders back in reply. “I just didn’t notice you came in here that’s all. Or were you here before me? Anyway, I was just bored and the book looked like it was fun but that doesnt mean I was that into it!” A delicate blush rushes up to your face as you try to defend yourself, being caught reading something smutty and enjoying it by a handsome guy. Mihawk’s eyes narrowed upon seeing your blush, he could practically hear the rush of blood in your veins at this point. He chuckles out himself, “No need to be ashamed now, my dear. Everyone has needs, don’t they? I know I certainly do. Ah, How about this then? Since we both don’t seem to be fond of the party, why don't we find something fun to do here.” 

You noticed that he didn’t answer your questions but your mind was getting fuzzier by the minute, was the weed hitting out this late or something. Mihawk took a couple of steps towards you, his free cupping your cheek gently, running a thumb over your skin. “We can even recreate some of the scenes in this book, if you so like, my dear.” His eyes seemed to bore right into your soul, your body froze up, but your skin felt like it was gonna melt from how fast it was heating up. Mihawk throws the book behind him, leaning his head down to your neck. 

His hand on your cheek, forcibly tilting your head back so he could have more access to your pretty little neck. He wasn’t planning on drinking anyone's blood at this party, thinking that no one’s who would go to a party like this would have blood worth drinking. But you prove him wrong, still he wasn’t one to keep a victim or drain them completely. He finds it bothersome to have someone around all the time and getting rid of a body was equally bothersome as well. He would just do his standard routine of mind control and taking some blood and leave you somewhere else on the floor.

Erasing your memories of him and having you believe that you just got blacked out drunk. Clean, simple and cut, no need for anything fancy or extra work. Simple… that what he thought this was going to be, until he finally got a taste of your blood. His fangs sink in so easily, like slicing into a cake, the first savor of your sweet crimson nectar on his tongue had Mihawk moaning shamelessly. Sinking his fangs in even deeper than he usually does. His tongue flicked rapidly to lap up every single drop. 

Mihawk then lets go of you with another debauched groan coming from his throat. Your blood dripped down the side of his face and chin. The spell on your mind gradually loses its powers, your eyes blink reality back into existence slowly. Mihawk was wiping away your blood with a handkerchief when your mind snapped back together, you stumbled backwards and fell ungracefully on your ass. Scrambling away from your attacker, holding the two bleeding holes in your neck with a shaky hand. 

Mihawk was in shock, he never lost control like this before, but you… you were different from all the others he ever drank from. Comparing their blood to yours would be like comparing pig swill to a bottle of Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Grand Cru 1945. He couldn't let you get away so easily, but he wasn't going to resort to savagery. No, he had other ways to get you to submit, it should be easy, after all, he could smell your arousal leaking down on your panties…

He finished wiping away at his face, pocketing his handkerchief away and bending down on one knee and reaching out a hand to you. “Apologies once more, my dear. This has never happened… happened to me before.” It sounded like he was apologizing for cumming too early, not for freaking biting your neck! You glare at the hand he was offering to you, but you still stopped your escape plan for now. “I don’t know if a simple apology is gonna cut it for trying to kill me, you know.” You hiss out at him, swatting away his hand when it comes closer like a cat. 

Mihawk’s eyes widened by a fraction for a small second. “I wasn’t trying to kill you, my dear. I just wanted a taste but it seems that your blood was far more appetizing than I thought. Still, I would never kill you.” ‘You’re far too special for that.. And I have other things in mind for you…’ Mihawk levels his facial expression to look more docile, reaching out his hand once again. “I propose a deal, you let me drink some of your blood and I’ll make this night into an unforgettable experience for you.” He even gave you a small smile at the end, the slight quirk of his lips was enough to make you clench your thighs together.

Damn him and his handsome face…”What do you mean by ‘unforgettable experience’ exactly?” This time as Mihawk’s hand comes towards you, you decide to take it, his other hand swooping down to the small of your back to help lift you back up to your feet. He angles his head a bit towards you as he answers; “You know, my dear. I can tell how wet you got from earlier. My senses tell me that you crave in a different way. I can help take care of that for you, in simple exchange. A treat for a treat, shall we say? No tricks here.” 

His smooth sultry travels to your ear all the way down to your core. Could you really trust a stranger, lest alone a Vampire, to keep his word? You’re weren’t exactly sure but you when are you ever going to get the chance to fuck a vampire? You could just blame your poor choices on the copious amount of second-hand weed you inhaled on this floor. You licked your lips, looking back up at the vampire. “Could I at least get your name first?” You asked shyly, feeling more anxious and embarrassed that he could tell how aroused you were by him. 

Mihawk dips his head down to scrape his fangs over the pulse point of your neck. “Call me Mihawk, and you, my dear?” His hands grope at your sides, making you squeak out your name quietly. Mihawk runs his fangs over your neck once more, whispering your name over the bare skin. Then he pulls away from you, his pupils blown wide and lightly grabbing at your wrist as he leads you further in the library to a small corner with a couch in it. 

He sits down on it first, spreading his thigh out wide as he tugs on your wrist to make you come in between them. His hands back on your side as he purrs out; “I should warm up my meal first, right?” “You know, I really don't appreciate being called tha-ohhHah!” Your complaints got whisked away as Mihawk’s fingers went under your dress and palmed at your panties. His fingers pressing down heavily on the wet spot in the middle. 

His fingers pulled your panties to the side, exposing your pussy to the cold air and his strangely cold fingers as well. As he runs his fingers over your slick folds, your arousal drips down on his hand. He plunges in his digits into you, easily finding that spot that made your knees buckle. Your own hands grab onto Mihwak’s shoulder for balance, as he starts to find a good pace in and out of your pussy. The squelching noises echoed loudly in the eerily quiet library, your cries bouncing off the walls and back to you. “Mmff-fuc-fuck!” Mihwak kept going at an unrelenting pace, bullying your cute pussy, his wrist slapping sharply against your clit, your slick completely covering his hand at this point but he didn’t seem to care. In fact, as you try to focus your bleary eyes on his face, he was wearing a deadpan expression, his face unchanging even as your moans and knees get weaker and weaker when you start reaching your peak. 

Your fingers clawing deep into his shoulders, the coil in your stomach finally snapping and you gush out on his hand, soaking his sleeves even. “Mm-uwaahhh…ahh-ah?! Mi-Mihawk! Wait-please-ahhH-fuck!” Your body bends over, throwing your arms around Mihawk’s neck and shoulders and squeezing tight as your knees lose all of its strength. Mihawk kept on bullying your abused pussy with his fingers even through your orgasm, going at a faster pace than before. A second orgasm was already building up, Mihawk’s other hand holding you up from behind so you wouldn't fully fall over. 

“Fuck-fuck-fuck!” A colorful string of curses escapes your mouth as Mihawk forces another orgasm from you. This time Mihawk lets you collapse onto his lap, his non-stained hand massaging your back as you calm down. He softly put your thighs over his so you were spread open on his lap. His golden eyes scans your face as he unbuckles his pants and free his thick cock, rubbing the tip on your leaking folds, tilting his head in question. “Ready?” His low timbre voice was even, giving away no indication of how feral he felt inside. 

You pout at his tone, huffing out a whine; “Can you at least pretend to like this?” You murmured, hands coming up to cup his face, thumb tracing over his smooth skin, no sign of aging or wrinkles anywhere to be seen. Mihawk’s self composure almost breaks at your tender touch, he was trying his best not to give away his inner thoughts. On how he absolutely wanted to ruin you, corrupt you, take you away from the outside world and lock you in his castle with him forever. But he couldn’t risk scaring you off, he wasn’t one for the chase, he preferred to keep things neat and tidy. 

He breathes out, almost sounding annoyed, making you cringe inside. Your hands began to pull away only for Mihawk to grab them and put them back on his face. “Forgive me, my dear, I am just not used to…” He trails off, his eyes looking away from you and for a split second you could see the raging emotions he was hiding underneath. Feeling a bit bolder now that you know the kind of effect you had on him, you take action and lower your hips down, sinking his cock in you. Your previous orgasm made it easy for the first half of the stretch but he was far more lengthy than you thought. 

Mihawk groans out, feeling your tight walls squeeze him, it was like heaven on earth to him, your pulsing heat shook him to his core. Seeing you struggle to take him fully, he gets even more riled up, watching your cute scrunched up face and pussy swallowing up half of his cock. Your hushed pleas for help, as you continue to struggle. He places his lips back on the bite mark he made, pressing open mouth kisses on the wound, as his hand strokes at your swollen clit, the other one on your hip gently guiding you down. “I-I don’t think it's going to fit.” You whine, jutting your bottom lips as your pussy gets stretched out even more. 

“Don’t worry, my dear, it will fit.” ‘You were made for me after all…’ Everything about you drove Mihawk crazy and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared of this foreign feeling. He just thought that your blood was the only thing special about you, but he was wrong. You sink down slowly, taking in every inch of Mihawk, his thick throbbing vein dragging along your warm walls. As you finally bottom out on his cock, Mihawk sinks in his fangs, letting out a feral moan, almost to the point of whimpering. 

He greedily gulped down your crimson saccharine nectar, you tried to alleviate the pain by moving your hips but Mihawk stopped you. His thumb was still lazily rubbing small patterns on your clit so you weren’t completely without pleasure. He lets go of your neck only so he could speak, his voice raspy and laced with heavy desire. “Don’t move too much, just sit here and let me take my fill, and th-then I’ll give you everything, my dear.” You wanted to protest but you felt you would be punished badly if you disobeyed so you stayed as still as you could. With Mihawk’s cock buried deep inside of you, his thumb only gives you enough pleasure to distract you from the stinging pain of having your blood sucked from you. 

Mihawk slowed down his feeding, opting to lap sweetly at the blood, enjoying your small squirms and needy pants. He wanted to savor your taste, drinking too quickly would ruin his meal. He already made up his mind that he was going to kidnap you but that doesn't mean he couldn't have his fun with you right now. So it was, Mihawk kept you on his lap for what felt like hours, nipping at your neck when you tried to move too much or whine too loudly for his liking. Your mind starts blanking at some point, perhaps due to the bloodlost or from the constant edging, you had enough and didn't care about the punishment right now. 

You rutted your hips forward, hands clawing at Mihawk’s open chest pitifully. Mihawk would punish you like normal, but after drinking so much of your blood, he was drunk on it. Giving your neck one last long lick and pressing his bloodied lips on yours, into a searing hot kiss. “Can’t fucking wait anymore, can you?” He thrusts up his hips, ramming his cock straight into your cervix. Bouncing his thighs in a ruthless rhythm, his hands pressing down on your hips so you felt every inch of his length in you, with no room to wiggle or move out. 

“Panting like a fucking bitch in heat, haahh..” Mihawk grunted out, spreading out one hand to rub at your clit. “Is this what you wanted huh? Plap Plap…Plap! He stutters his hips once letting his cock almost slip out, only to slam it back in forcefully once more. Your eyes roll backwards, a whole new galaxy of stars appears in your vision. Your stomach tightens and snaps, releasing and gushing all over Mihawk’s thighs and lap. He presses his forehead against yours, running the bridge of his nose over yours for a bit. 

A hand off your hip and now running through your hair, calming you down, and honestly he needed to calm down as well before his own coil would snap, his cock still sitting heavily in your core. His thighs trembling with need and desire but Mihawk was determined not to cum just yet; “Hmmmm.. Was that good enough for you? Going to finally be good now?” He sighs out, his voice quivers just a bit, if you were more clear-headed you would have caught that but you just loll your head down on his shoulder as your hole clenches and unclench on his cock, trying to adjust once more.

He softly pats your head, bringing up his other hand and summoning a book to his hand. He settles back on the couch, bringing you with and secretly making sure you’re comfortable. “Now behave while I read alright? If you interrupt me again, your next punishment will be much harsher…”

[class1akids]

seeing your takes on the LoV trio's endings & how they were mishandled is honestly so refreshing. i left the fandom in ~2017 but started getting back into it after i heard it was ending, and it's honestly been a bit disappointing. dabi & shouto were my 2 favorite characters, and while i loved the direction the todofam story was going in, i wasn't pleased with the ending as it feels like they were both shafted in favor of endeavor. it feels like it lingers way too long on enji's redemption or "atonement" or whatever hori wants to call it and not enough on shouto's feelings, or the family's feelings as a whole. and while their were some parts of the finale i liked, such as the soba moment and touya's tearful apology, it kinda falls flat to me in the grand scheme of the story?

i don't even know how to fully articulate it, and maybe it's just that the todofam story hits way too close to home so it's clouding my perception of it, but it irks me that there were no *real* consequences for endeavor. like he should be in jail for what he did, and rei should've taken shouto and left-- at least in my opinion. and maybe i just missed something since i'm still catching up a bit, but did we ever even find out how shouto feels about his family by the end? or was that just steamrolled over in favor of wrapping the story up? this whole ending just feels really rushed to me...

I think for me the lack of any official process is the biggest problem with the framing. I get that Endeavor is better now, I get that he feels remorse, I get that he's also done lots of good.

But the law should be impartial and applicable to everyone, also to people in power. Endeavor shouldn't get to decide the terms of his atonement, he shouldn't get to choose what he takes responsibility for and what things he pushes under the rug.

There is a systemic value of due process, where someone who is suspected of having committed a crime is taken in front of a court which examines the case, the circumstances and decides on a verdict.

First of all, it shouldn't be up to Endeavor to decide that he's atoning for Touya's crimes. What about Endeavor's own crimes? What about physical assault of Rei and Shouto? What about abandoning a 13-year old child leading to death of said child? What about all the emotional abuse? What about the genetic experimentation? These things should be looked at by a prosecutor to establish whether any of these things are against the law and raise charges as appropriate.

And even if he's found guilty, the court may find that given the circumstances, Endeavor shouldn't go to jail but get a suspended sentence or pay a fine or have his parental rights over Shouto revoked. I feel people think that every trial ends in a death sentence or life prison - but there are options that can take into account that he's better now, that he wants to atone - the systemic value is to pursue justice and to show that nobody is above the law.

Likewise - Endeavor choosing to retire (when he can't even walk) is really empty. But pro heroes which seem like a regulated profession should have an official process to decide whether he could hold a license, whether while he was holding that hero license, his conduct was in line with the rules and values of the profession. Running a process like that also has a systemic value - because it can set a precedent, or in some cases it can show what rules need to be in place so in the future such a case is not repeated.

A doctor who committed malpractice will be in front of a review board regardless of how many other lives he saved. I don't see why this shouldn't be the case with professional heroes.

The fact that Endeavor himself decides his own punishment, that his pal, Hawks runs the whole business, giving out favors on a personal basis and making cosmetic changes to the ranking system instead of reviewing systemic issues like reporting obligation in case of suspected child abuse.

If you think about it, redemption of granny notwithstanding, Scissors-kun only got out of the house in the first place because of the destruction by villains, and not for example because the kindergarten reported when he stopped showing up.

I think it's important to strengthen institutions that are able to protect other abused children or that are able to curb unethical behaviour of villains, and I just don't see how Hawks' enlarged hero chart is the answer to these things.

[mrstsugikuni]

Wait!! Ur having a baby?!!$!3?2;4 omg congratulations!!!!!!!!!!,, maybe when you have time (no rush at all!!!) There could be some pregnant y/n headcanons for either the upper moons or the hashiras??? Like how they handle their y/n pregnant 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Yes I am 🫶 I am 15 weeks pregnant and I'm having a boy. Also thank you very much 🥰 I'm debating on whether to post the ultrasound photos or not 💪

And I absolutely LOVE 🫶💞💖 this request! So let's get started, I decided to do the top 3 upper moons first since they are my absolute favorite 🫶 and then I'll do the rest of the upper moons and then the hashira 💖

Kokushibo 🫶

He would be very very gentle with you as if you were a wine glass.

He'd have to stop himself sometimes from rubbing your belly because he knew and saw the little baby in there and it was the smallest and sweetest thing ever.

He would give your stomach lots and lots of kisses and would talk to the baby on a daily basis like it was his duty to talk to the small thing.

His eye are on you like a hawk, he wants you to be as safe as possible and he wants to be there if you ever need him or be able to catch you if you fall.

He understands you're very emotional at the moment because your hormones are going wild due to growing a new living thing inside of you and you have lots of mood swings so he's always there to let you cry or rant about something.

He loves seeing you rub your belly and talking to the baby yourself he thinks it's very sweet and can't help but to look in awe. 🫶

Douma 🧚‍♀️

Would act a little strange around you but nonetheless he would always talk to the baby he would mostly tell the baby stories of his life as well pretty much a "God" 😮‍💨

Would always bug you about when the baby was gonna be born and that he just couldn't wait to hold it.

Asks for help on how to be a good father figure for the baby.

Is always rubbing your belly he never holds himself back if he wants to say hello or rub his child he will do so and will sometimes even leave sweet little kisses.

You can see he's trying to get better with the whole emotions thing because he truly wants to be there emotionally for his baby.

Loves giving you hugs from behind and resting his hands on your baby bump and leaving kisses on your cheeks or forehead.

Tries to be there for you when your emotions get crazy but doesn't exactly know but to do so he just listens and holds you.

Akaza 💪

Protective papa for short

Is constantly checking in on you and the baby to make sure you're both alright.

Overthinks sometimes when he's on a mission but knows you can take care of yourself and you'll be ok, but gives you so many hugs and gives your tummy more kisses then ever.

Enjoys spending time with you and enjoys cuddles more than he ever has cause now he gets to hold you and his baby.

He tends to press his forehead to your tummy as if your baby was doing it back.

He's extremely gentle with you and helps you get around the house if you need it cause he knows it can get difficult sometimes.

Let's you vent to him all the time while you sit in his lap as he holds you listening to every little detail running his fingers through your hair in a soothing way and let's you vent until you slowly pass out in his arms and he carries you to bed letting you rest.

Ok so I'm sorry there are more head canons for akaza BUT he is just seems like the sweetest out of all of them and just easy to write with 🥺🫶

[2fineforbs]

Simon "Ghost" Rliey

(My first fanficton guys 😌☝️)

Simon wanted to be a simple man, a wife, 2 kids and a stable job and a regular house and of course his dog, rliey.

But Simon's Job was anything but simple, he was a military man. A lieutenant to be exact the scariest one in the force actually, simon was really scary, broad shoulders, juicy muscles , thick thighs that saves lives and rough big hands, one thing that made simon recognizable was his skull balaclava, and he didn't go by the name "simon"..he wasn't "simon" at all in the job

He was ghost.

Nobody really knows why he has that name, but anyway. One day, when simon was off work, he wanted to get some flowers, just to brighten up his house since it was a lonely place,

As he walks into the little shop of flowers he rings the little bell.

"One moment please!"

A soft and sweet delicate voice answers she sounds a bit stressed, but sweet...then comes out a beautiful lady, with sweet features and delicate hands, a nice smile, her eyes widening at the looks of simon, blushing a bit.

"H-how can I help you today sir?"

Simon is looking at her, he's a bit nervous and it's highly noticeable.

"Flowers, bright ones. Please"

Simon responded, his eyes moves to the lady when she quickly heads to a specific group of flowers.

"These are the best! Your wife will love them!"

Simon eyebrow raises as the mention of a "wife". She notices it and realized he doesn't have a wife..

"You don't have a wife..this is kinda embarrassing" she smiles nervously

"I don't"

Simon stoic as ever, the lady frowned a bit seeing how serious he was.

"Name?"

"Oh! These are lil-"

"Yours"

She looks at him confused, but quickly smiled.

"Y/n"

"Y/n,..I'm simon"

She smile nervously, as his dark brown eyes stare her down, watching her very move like a hawk.

"So! These lilies, will lighten up anywhere! These are my personal favorite!"

He looked at the lilies and nodded

"I want those"

She quickly grabbed a group of lilies and made a beautiful bouquet, he looked at her and notice how she smiled making a simple bouquet.

She gave him the bouquet, she smiled at him

"All yours now, come again, simon!"

"Of course"

He nodded and left.

He was definitely going to come back

pt. 2 has been posted

My latest post

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Vox x Alastor || Tell Me Who Did This, Now.

So I know I know, commission work yes yes I'm getting to it BUT! I wrote a little blurb for that little comic @milariro drew for radiostatic which is literally like my favorite ship I think. 👀

Anyway hope y'all like it! ÙwÚ

Word Count: 2k

Rating: PG(?), maybe PG-13. Mostly angsty ish feel?

-

It isn't the first time he's lost track of him somewhere but every time it happens Alastor hopes it's the last. 

He hasn't seen Vox in days and considering how close they are… it's strange, worrisome. 

Vox usually keeps up with him, taking the time to send messages and letters and pop up at the most sudden of times and Alastor always responds. Life in hell has been growing on the two of them, Vox has been so excited recently… so eager to announce that he had a dream, one where he could publicize the two of them, where they could happily pursue their goals… together and Alastor both loved… and despised the very idea. 

Really he himself is fine with his little following; those few sinners, Vox included, who seemed to always tune in but he'd be a liar if he told himself that he didn't see this …new behavior that seemed to jump out of his friend. Vox was a big dreamer, they had spent many long hours talking to each other, laughing and joking while also spewing their deepest hopes and dreams…well usually it was Vox who did so while Alastor listened and encouraged him but he couldn't help but want to stop the other at the same time.

To tell him that he didn't need to go out there and get big and famous or whatever because Alastor likes the way Vox already is but his friend, his silly friend had his hopes for their pitiful, shameful lives down here so who would Alastor really be to stop him?

To put it lightly, Alastor is anxious over the other demon who was still just hardly taller than Alastor's own shoulder. He's worried that something might have happened to his friend considering how long he's been missing now. After all, Alastor had noticed the way they seemed to draw more attention these days when they were out together… the sneaky glances and judging gazes the other sinners would give them.

Alastor doesn't care, couldn't care less especially considering how easy most demons are to get rid of but… Vox had seemed to grow rather conscious of his presence outside because of it all. 

There's been times where he's even mentioned it, brought it up when it was just him and Alastor together.. Alastor could never forget it, the first time it was ever brought up… the way that Vox seemed to look over his shoulder and double check locks and doors with the excuse of making sure they were ‘safe’. 

It angers Alastor. 

Annoys him so bad to the point that he'd kill them, split their skulls and the ground they walked and before Vox’s very own feet but… for some reason whenever Alastor gets to that point… the point of nearly no return, Vox will lightly brush his hand against his own and while that kind, warm smile and tell Alastor that it was okay. 

That they didn't matter. 

That he didn't care. 

And so on and so forth. 

Alastor moves through the room now, annoyance dripping into the air around him as he seems to get ready to go somewhere… to go look for him because after everything they've been through so far he could admit that he didn't… like it when he couldn't keep tabs on Vox. When they weren't together so Alastor could defend him if needed. When he couldn't hover around Vox like a hawk threatening to peck out anyone's eyes who dared to even spill a drop of liquor on his shoes. He's smiling but he's anything but happy as he gets dressed to go out and hunt down Vox himself..

It's not until he's all ready, a clawed hand reaching out to his front door when his ears suddenly perk as the sound of knocking from the other side fills the room. 

Alastor freezes for a moment, his mind simply going blank in that very moment except for the thought of Vox that lingered and as he shifted gears and continued to reach out and turn the door before another knock could be heard, Alastor found himself faced with Vox. 

Immediately there's a surge of electricity that rushes through his body at being faced with his friend. 

He's relieved, for starters, just seeing him but then that turns into confusion, then slowly into unbridled rage when he takes in the sight of the other more closely. 

“Al..” Vox chuckles softly, that little chuckle that Alastor had grown rather fond of over their time of knowing each other even in those moments when he did it after telling some stupid joke or when it happened when they seemed to press close to each other in the moments when they could. He usually loves hearing it but this time he does not. 

Especially because it's glitchy, corrupted from what he can see. 

Not while Vox stands before him looking like a stray, beaten dog who practically limped its way back to its owner.

“I know I'm later than I said I'd be but hey, I'm here now yeah?” Vox starts off, or at least attempts to through riggidy default settings and his scratchy voice box though Alastor seems to understand him anyway. 

He doesn't want to though. 

He doesn't want to be faced by him when he's like this and all Alastor manages to do is let out a glitchy sound himself though unlike Vox he's not tired or worn, he's energized, livid. 

His eyes move over Vox's form; looking at his heavily dirtied and wrinkled shirt that seemed to be missing a few buttons then they look at the way Vox seems to cradle one of his arms and of course Alastor takes in his screen which seemed shattered, clearly punched in. 

Rightfully so, Vox seems to grow self conscious as the way Alastor hasn't responded yet. He knew that appearing like this at such a late hour would be one thing for the man but it's so strange to see Alastor so… serious. Vox laughs a little, lowering his gaze as if shy, unwilling to show his face as he slowly looks down to his shoes.

A moment of silence washes over them and Vox can't help but rub his already sore arm.

Maybe he shouldn't have come after all? Perhaps Alastor was even angry with him for doing so after already being hours late… Vox knew he shouldn't have come, should have just dealt with this on his own like he preferred to do so but they both knew Alastor would have come looking for him if he hadn't shown up because that's just who Alastor was when it came to Vox. 

His rushing thoughts come in bundles, so much so that the silence becomes deafening and Vox can't help the way his body wants to just naturally step back and walk away as if he never came to begin with, and maybe that was for the best? He hates bothering Alastor, hated not being strong enough to always hold his ground or to scare others away like Alastor so easily seemed to do and maybe it makes him feel inferior, unworthy of being with the other man which always makes his heart ache when he comes down to such a conclusion. He has so many dreams for them but at times much like these ones he wondered if he was just getting reality messed up with said dreams. 

It's not until a finger slips under his screen and lifts it to make Vox's gaze focus on Alastor's once more but this time… Vox seemed to freeze at what he saw on the other's face, his functioning eye growing wider at the scene as he finds himself suddenly holding his breath. 

He's distorted, glitching and reversing, sigils forming in the air behind him as his eyes look into Vox's. His neck twisted over to the side and eyes big, red, and ticking in a way that makes it seem that Alastor is just barely clinging to patience… like he could burst at any moment in a fit of claws and teeth and as Vox stares up at him, shocked, he can feel shivers run up his back as Alastor continues to hold his head in place. He's gentle but firm, refusing to let this go which was something Vox would also say to him..

To just forget it and move on but no, nonono.

Alastor refused not to be pissed and as far as he knew, he had worked to do..

People to punish, bitches to burn. 

“Who… Did this.. to you?” He says and with the way the room seems to shake it's clear that Alastor is not in fact asking but instead demanding to know. Vox can feel the bloodlust leaking off of the other demon, the fury he carries and Vox was sure that if he was anyone else in hell in that very moment that Alastor probably…wouldn't have hesitated to spill his blood and the ground he stood on. 

Vox recognized the look, his eyes slowly lowering again now while Alastor shifts his hand to caress the side of Vox's face, running his thumb over the undamaged side and though it's a kind gesture Vox can feel the way Alastor's hand seems to lightly shake. 

Vox makes a soft sound, something that he didn't make often and closes the gap between the two of them, wrapping his arms around Alastor and clinging to him and at first the taller of the two freezes at the reaction before slowly but surely… calming, at least as much as he could right now. 

It takes a moment for Alastor to immediately respond but Vox doesn't mind, not when he can feel how warm Alastor was and smell his scent so closely and after everything it seems to take some pressure off the TV demon. When Alastor does hug him back his hold is a bit firmer, a bit tighter, like he may get upset if Vox dares to pull away from him now. 

“Alastor, please…” Vox sighs softly,  brokenly and though Vox's voice box is fucked Alastor still makes out those words and the gentle way Vox seems to speak to him. 

“Please just…just leave it.” He says next, moving to bury his head in Alastor's chest and stepping in closer only to tumble forward onto a knee making Alastor jolt and quickly grip him closer before he finds himself in both of them. “Please let it go… I'll be okay, I'll recover. I always do don't I?” he says, practically begging the other man and Alastor feels his face twitch and he's never before more angry at his own curse for not being able to show just how upset he is right now. Yes of course he was sure Vox would be okay but he despised the idea of the other growing used to being treated this way by others...

“I'll be okay see?” Vox tries to convince the other or maybe… he's trying to convince himself now as he lifts his head and gives Alastor that silly, stupid smile again and it both annoys the deer demon but also convinces him enough to not leave right now and go hunt down however did this for there was all the time in the world to do such later. 

Vox had come to him at this time for a reason and even if the reason was simply because Vox had no one else Alastor didn't care. He'd help him just like he always did… and so with a huff Alastor looks down to Vox with that everlasting smile though it does seem strained. 

“Come inside… I'll take care of you.” He says and though Vox still feels guilty for showing up and possibly ruining Alastor's day with his appearance he also feels… grateful knowing Alastor was there just like he always was. So Vox gives in, sighing and nodding softly, gathering himself and getting to his feet and as Alastor holds the door wide open for him he trails in before the door closes back and snaps shut behind the two of them now allowing them to be alone together, where they were always guaranteed safety from the hellish world around them. 

Where Alastor could continue to keep a close eye on him for just a while longer. 

~

[khaosrealms]

GENERAL’S CUR. (NSFW CONTENT) / SHAO X SOLDIER! READER.

a/n: nothing but savage thoughts have been in my mind since i locked eyes with shao and as a result, here is the result of that. enjoy ! ❣️

- Everyone knows the General has his favorites. Just as one might favor a weapon, the boy he adopted from the Kafallah War, or just as one might favor a pet— you. The soldier who just slightly too weak to overwhelm him, the soldier who barks in his ear to get his attention. Any other General would have disposed of you; make good on their word of your insolence. But not General Shao, not you. No— he had a much better use for you and that mouth of your’s.

- Under the guise of conversation, Shao invites you to his war quarters. Postured on his large, throne-like chair. Not so much as standing up as he barked for you to enter as you pounded on his door. Backlit in the warm, golden light of the torches that illuminated parchments of siege maps and private missives. Draped in his combat attire. The very essence of a war god; the taste of your own saliva coating and filling your throat.

“Sit.” There’s wine in Shao’s tongue, some aged finery he’s earned in Sindel’s favor amongst her court. You can hear it in the deep rumbles off his chest as he breathes in and out; watching your every step as you walk towards one of the chairs parallel to the general. A hawk to his prey. Crimson slits dilating— and contracting as you bend your knees to sit. “No. Not there.” All it takes is one finger, thick and clawed, pointed downwards. “You know where.”

- There’s no argument. Shao is your general, and you, his loyal devoted soldier— you both know that denial isn’t something you’d planned on anyways. Bark and yelp you might, but deny yourself? Shao wouldn’t allow a good soldier of his to think of restraint. Kneeled before him, between his legs, the sight of his cock strained against the fabric of his pants. Twitching at the warmth of your breath. He’s spent every moment since you’ve entered the room staring at you, and right now, Shao can’t look away. You’d lost all thought of resistance the second you’d taken to your knees.

“Who was it that taught you discipline, soldier?” He agonizes you with control. Slipping himself in and out your mouth, just enough to coat himself in your tongue, but not enough to suppress your whining to take him whole. You can take it, Shao knows. He's trained the shape of his cock into your throat; spent his hours warming himself in your insolent mouth. And you craved it, of course you did-- because every time he calls, you return. Lapping up the taste of his precum as he drags himself out from your throat, coated in your saliva. "Your general, wasn't it?" He gives you only a moment to breathe. Watching as you hungrily pant air back into your system. But not so desperate as to pull away. No- you stay there despite it. Gazing up at your General and his saliva-drenched cock, every part of you aching for him to return. "I taught you so well." You take him so well every time. Swallowing every drop, not so much as shedding a tear as Shao ruts into your mouth to clean himself off on your tongue. He'll reward you, you're certain. Not today-- no. But eventually you'll earn it; a seat right on his lap for hours on end. For now, you can remain sat there till Shao's done training each part of you to be his own.