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#click the link btw!!#it has helpful resources on how to help palestine#gesture drawings are fun to do#even funner if you recycle them lol#inspired by a tweet asking artists to draw comfort characters with watermelons#and i used my palestinian friend’s fave sky character because it felt right#modest dancer#sky cotl#sky children of the light#season of performance#sky cotl fanart#sky children of the light fanart#fanart#character illustration
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If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.
While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.
I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.
#zionism#my gods y'all need to get a grip and start remembering that confirmation bias exists#and y'all use sources continually in this way while just generally having so much bs of presenting How To Not Use My Own Sources#or actually to be more correct you clearly do know you just choose not to because you'd rather be justified in resource theft and profit#Like the while tome it's been about either material gain or feeling good about yourself while you shit on strangers#and then I also see y'all make other accounts ro harass random Arabs for fun and random queers who aren't even related like#the fuck is wrong with y'all go sit down and think about why you all do this pointless bs#it's such a waste of your own life spending it looking for fights to help with your bottomless insecurities#Israel#fuck israel#long live palestine#like you can say hamas was bad all you like it doesn't actually change the situation and what y'all have been doing for 76 years#and actually longer but y'all arent ready for that conversation and how Zionists butchered Jews and helped Nazi Germany historically#like sorry that Was a thing that happened and if you want to label yourselves as The Sacred Protectors of Jews then you have to face that#Pretending history didn't happen isn't helpful to anyone including yourselves y'all just making Zionism look even worse and like idiocy#I mean it is but you all aren't helping yourselves by being literal holocaust deniers#and being like “but Zionists saved Jews afterwards” as if that somehow erases the fact they ALSO helped the Nazis#like history is full of contradictory bullshit so when you say “but what about this” you know that doesn't erase the other things right??#“That's worse. You DO see how that's worse right?”#I'm shaking you all and yelling this like it is WORSE that they killed Jews and then started playing the saviour and fellow victims#You do see how that is really bad for Jews today to be in a place created for political power plays and material gain through any means#like you see how that could be REALLY dangerous for Jews if they're that expendable to Zionist entities and the government#and you do realise that is literally what we are seeing from the actions of said government#and how they acting sadly very predictablely when you consider the historical contexts for its existence?#People who research this shit aren't surprised because it happens every single year and has been happening for centuries -#- before Israel the holocaust etc. It's been like this for as long as political Zionism and the French Revolution#It's been going on since pre Marxism and pre a lot of differing things but y'all pretend Zionists haven't ever harmed Jews ever when -#- there's a long history of internal conflict and in fighting that formed modern Zionism and plenty of internalised antisemetism within it#Yeah there's a genuine desire for return to the land (Not Own It just return and live peacefully)#but that is very very different to Political Zionism that formed as a socialist nationalist movement
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17/12/23 this masterlist has been completely revamped with free access to all material. It will be updated and edited periodically so please click on my username and reblog the current version directly from me if you're able.
14/8/24 reboosting this post with How to Help Palestine updated. Please scroll to the bottom to donate or boost the links.
Palestine: The Big Damn List
(Yes, it's a lot. Just choose your preferred medium and then pick ONE.)
Podcasts
Backgrounders and Quick Facts
Interactive Maps
Teach-Out Resources
Reading Material (free)
Films and Documentaries (free)
Non-Governmental Organizations
Social Media
How You Can Help <- URGENT!!!
Podcasts
Cocktails & Capitalism: The Story of Palestine Part 1, Part 3
It Could Happen Here: The Cheapest Land is Bought with Blood, Part 2, The Balfour Declaration
Citations Needed: Media narratives and consent manufacturing around Israel-Palestine and the Gaza Siege
The Deprogram: Free Palestine, ft. decolonizatepalestine.com.
Backgrounders and Quick Facts
The Palestine Academy: Palestine 101
Institute for Middle East Understanding: Explainers and Quick Facts
Interactive Maps
Visualizing Palestine
Teach-Out Resources
1) Cambridge UCU and Pal Society
Palestine 101
Intro to Palestine Film + Art + Literature
Resources for Organising and Facilitating)
2) The Jadaliya YouTube Channel of the Arab Studies Institute
Gaza in Context Teach-in series
War on Palestine podcast
Updates and Discussions of news with co-editors Noura Erakat and Mouin Rabbani.
3) The Palestine Directory
History (virtual tours, digital archives, The Palestine Oral History Project, Documenting Palestine, Queering Palestine)
Cultural History (Palestine Open Maps, Overdue Books Zine, Palestine Poster Project)
Contemporary Voices in the Arts
Get Involved: NGOs and campaigns to help and support.
3) PalQuest Interactive Encyclopedia of the Palestine Question.
4) The Palestine Remix by Al Jazeera
Books and Articles
Free reading material
My Gdrive of Palestine/Decolonization Literature (nearly all the books recommended below + books from other recommended lists)
Five free eBooks by Verso
Three Free eBooks on Palestine by Haymarket
LGBT Activist Scott Long's Google Drive of Palestine Freedom Struggle Resources
Recommended Reading List
Academic Books
Edward Said (1979) The Question of Palestine, Random House
Ilan Pappé (2002)(ed) The Israel/Palestine Question, Routledge
Ilan Pappé (2006) The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine, OneWorld Publications
Ilan Pappé (2011) The Forgotten Palestinians: A History of the Palestinians in Israel, Yale University Press
Ilan Pappé (2015) The Idea of Israel: A History of Power and Knowledge, Verso Books
Ilan Pappé (2017) The Biggest Prison On Earth: A History Of The Occupied Territories, OneWorld Publications
Ilan Pappé (2022) A History of Modern Palestine, Cambridge University Press
Rosemary Sayigh (2007) The Palestinians: From Peasants to Revolutionaries, Bloomsbury
Andrew Ross (2019) Stone Men: the Palestinians who Built Israel, Verso Books
Rashid Khalidi (2020) The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance 1917–2017
Ariella Azoulay (2011) From Palestine to Israel: A Photographic Record of Destruction and State Formation, 1947-1950, Pluto Press
Ariella Azoulay and Adi Ophir (2012) The One-State Condition: Occupation and Democracy in Israel/Palestine, Stanford University Press.
Jeff Halper (2010) An Israeli in Palestine: Resisting Dispossession, Redeeming Israel, Pluto Press
Jeff Halper (2015) War Against the People: Israel, the Palestinians and Global Pacification
Jeff Halper (2021) Decolonizing Israel, Liberating Palestine: Zionism, Settler Colonialism, and the Case for One Democratic State, Pluto Press
Anthony Loewenstein (2023) The Palestine Laboratory: How Israel exports the Technology of Occupation around the World
Noura Erakat (2019) Justice for Some: Law and the Question of Palestine, Stanford University Press
Neve Gordon (2008) Israel’s Occupation, University of California Press
Joseph Massad (2006) The Persistence of the Palestinian Question: Essays on Zionism and the Palestinians, Routledge
Memoirs
Edward Said (1986) After the Last Sky: Palestine Lives, Columbia University PEdward Saidress
Edward Said (2000) Out of Place; A Memoir, First Vintage Books
Mourid Barghouti (2005) I saw Ramallah, Bloomsbury
Hatim Kanaaneh (2008) A Doctor in Galilee: The Life and Struggle of a Palestinian in Israel, Pluto Press
Raja Shehadeh (2008) Palestinian Walks: Into a Vanishing Landscape, Profile Books
Ghada Karmi (2009) In Search of Fatima: A Palestinian Story, Verso Books
Vittorio Arrigoni (2010) Gaza Stay Human, Kube Publishing
Ramzy Baroud (2010) My Father Was a Freedom Fighter: Gaza's Untold Story, Pluto Press
Izzeldin Abuelaish (2011) I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity, Bloomsbury
Atef Abu Saif (2015) The Drone Eats with Me: A Gaza Diary, Beacon Press
Anthologies
Voices from Gaza - Insaniyyat (The Society of Palestinian Anthropologists)
Letters From Gaza • Protean Magazine
Salma Khadra Jayyusi (1992) Anthology of Modern Palestinian Literature, Columbia University Press
ASHTAR Theatre (2010) The Gaza Monologues
Refaat Alreer (ed) (2014) Gaza Writes Back, Just World Books
Refaat Alreer, Laila El-Haddad (eds) (2015) Gaza Unsilenced, Just World Books
Cate Malek and Mateo Hoke (eds)(2015) Palestine Speaks: Narrative of Life under Occupation, Verso Books
Jehad Abusalim, Jennifer Bing (eds) (2022) Light in Gaza: Writings Born of Fire, Haymarket Books
Short Story Collections
Ghassan Kanafani, Hilary Kilpatrick (trans) (1968) Men in the Sun and Other Palestinian Stories, Lynne Rienner Publishers
Ghassan Kanafani, Barbara Harlow, Karen E. Riley (trans) (2000) Palestine’s Children: Returning to Haifa and Other Stories, Lynne Rienner Publishers
Atef Abu Saif (2014) The Book of Gaza: A City in Short Fiction, Comma Press
Samira Azzam, Ranya Abdelrahman (trans) (2022) Out Of Time: The Collected Short Stories of Samira Azzam
Sonia Sulaiman (2023) Muneera and the Moon; Stories Inspired by Palestinian Folklore
Essay Collections
Edward W. Said (2000) Reflections on Exile and Other Essays, Harvard University Press
Salim Tamari (2008) Mountain against the Sea: Essays on Palestinian Society and Culture, University of California Press
Fatma Kassem (2011) Palestinian Women: Narratives, histories and gendered memory, Bloombsbury
Ramzy Baroud (2019) These Chains Will Be Broken: Palestinian Stories of Struggle and Defiance in Israeli Prisons, Clarity Press
Novels
Sahar Khalifeh (1976) Wild Thorns, Saqi Books
Liyana Badr (1993) A Balcony over the Fakihani, Interlink Books
Hala Alyan (2017) Salt Houses, Harper Books
Susan Abulhawa (2011) Mornings in Jenin, Bloomsbury
Susan Abulhawa (2020) Against the Loveless World, Bloomsbury
Graphic novels
Joe Sacco (2001) Palestine
Joe Sacco (2010) Footnotes in Gaza
Naji al-Ali (2009) A Child in Palestine, Verso Books
Mohammad Sabaaneh (2021) Power Born of Dreams: My Story is Palestine, Street Noise Book*
Poetry
Fady Joudah (2008) The Earth in the Attic, Sheridan Books,
Ghassan Zaqtan, Fady Joudah (trans) (2012) Like a Straw Bird It Follows Me and Other Poems, Yale University Press
Hala Alyan (2013) Atrium: Poems, Three Rooms Press*
Mohammed El-Kurd (2021) Rifqa, Haymarket Books
Mosab Abu Toha (2022) Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear: Poems from Gaza, City Lights Publishers
Tawfiq Zayyad (2023) We Are Here to Stay, Smokestack Books*
The Works of Mahmoud Darwish
Poems
Rafeef Ziadah (2011) We Teach Life, Sir
Nasser Rabah (2022) In the Endless War
Refaat Alareer (2011) If I Must Die
Hiba Abu Nada (2023) I Grant You Refuge/ Not Just Passing
[All books except the ones starred are available in my gdrive. I'm adding more each day. But please try and buy whatever you're able or borrow from the library. Most should be available in the discounted Free Palestine Reading List by Pluto Press, Verso and Haymarket Books.]
Human Rights Reports & Documents
Information on current International Court of Justice case on ‘Legal Consequences arising from the Policies and Practices of Israel in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, including East Jerusalem’
UN Commission of Inquiry Report 2022
UN Special Rapporteur Report on Apartheid 2022
Amnesty International Report on Apartheid 2022
Human Rights Watch Report on Apartheid 2021
Report of the United Nations Fact-Finding Mission on the Gaza Conflict’ 2009 (‘The Goldstone Report’)
Advisory Opinion on the Legal Consequences of the Construction of a Wall in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, International Court of Justice, 9 July 2004
Films
Documentaries
Jenin, Jenin (2003) dir. Mohammed Bakri
Massacre (2005) dir. Monica Borgmann, Lokman Slim, Hermann Theissen
Slingshot HipHop (2008) dir. Jackie Reem Salloum
Waltz with Bashir (2008) dir. Ari Folman † (also on Amazon Prime)
Tears of Gaza (2010) dir. Vibeke Løkkeberg (also on Amazon Prime)
5 Broken Cameras (2011) dir. Emad Burnat (also on Amazon Prime)
The Gatekeepers (2012) dir. Dror Moreh (also on Amazon Prime)
The Great Book Robbery (2012) | Al Jazeera English
Al Nakba (2013) | Al Jazeera (5-episode docu-series)
The Village Under the Forest (2013) dir. Mark J. Kaplan
Where Should The Birds Fly (2013) dir. Fida Qishta
Naila and the Uprising (2017) (also on Amazon Prime)
GAZA (2019) dir. Andrew McConnell and Garry Keane
Gaza Fights For Freedom (2019) dir. Abby Martin
Little Palestine: Diary Of A Siege (2021) dir. Abdallah Al Khatib
Palestine 1920: The Other Side of the Palestinian Story (2021) | Al Jazeera World Documentary
Gaza Fights Back (2021) | MintPress News Original Documentary | dir. Dan Cohen
Innocence (2022) dir. Guy Davidi
Short Films
Fatenah (2009) dir. Ahmad Habash
Gaza-London (2009) dir. Dina Hamdan
Condom Lead (2013) dir. Tarzan Nasser, Arab Nasser
OBAIDA (2019) | Defence for Children Palestine
Theatrical Films
Divine Intervention (2002) | dir. Elia Suleiman (also on Netflix)
Paradise Now (2005) dir Hany Abu-Assad (also on Amazon Prime)
Lemon Tree (2008) (choose auto translate for English subs) (also on Amazon Prime)
It Must Be Heaven (2009) | dir. Elia Suleiman †
The Promise (2010) mini-series dir. Peter Kosminsky (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)
Habibi (2011)* dir. Susan Youssef
Omar (2013)* dir. Hany Abu-Assad †
3000 Nights (2015)* dir. Mai Masri
Foxtrot (2017) dir. Samuel Maoz (also on Amazon Prime)
The Time that Remains (2019) dir. Elia Suleiman †
Gaza Mon Amour (2020) dir. Tarzan Nasser, Arab Nasser †
The Viewing Booth (2020) dir. Ra'anan Alexandrowicz (on Amazon Prime and Apple TV)
Farha (2021)* | dir. Darin J. Sallam
Palestine Film Institute Archive
All links are for free viewing. The ones marked with a star (*) can be found on Netflix, while the ones marked † can be downloaded for free from my Mega account.
If you find Guy Davidi's Innocence anywhere please let me know, I can't find it for streaming or download even to rent or buy.
In 2018, BDS urged Netflix to dump Fauda, a series created by former members of IOF death squads that legitimizes and promotes racist violence and war crimes, to no avail. Please warn others to not give this series any views. BDS has not called for a boycott of Netflix. ]
NGOs
The Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) Movement
Euro-Mediterranean Human Rights Monitor
UNRWA
Palestine Defence for Children International
Palestinian Feminist Collective
Al-Shabaka: The Palestinian Policy Network
Addameer Prisoner Support and Human Rights Association
Institute for Palestine Studies
Al Haq
Artists for Palestine
The Palestine Museum
Jewish Currents
B’Tselem
DAWN
Social Media
Palestnians on Tumblr
@el-shab-hussein
@killyfromblame
@apollos-olives
@fairuzfan
@palipunk
@sar-soor
@nabulsi
@wearenotjustnumbers2
@90-ghost
@tamarrud
@northgazaupdates
Allies and advocates (not Palestinian)
@bloglikeanegyptian beautiful posts that read like op-eds
@vyorei daily news roundups
@luthienne resistance through prose
@decolonize-the-left scoop on the US political plans and impacts
@feluka
@anneemay
(Please don't expect any of these blogs to be completely devoted to Palestine allyship; they do post regularly about it but they're still personal blogs and post whatever else they feel like. Do not harrass them.)
Gaza journalists
Motaz Azaiza IG: @motaz_azaiza | Twitter: @azaizamotaz9 | TikTok: _motaz.azaiza (left Gaza as of Jan 23)
Bisan Owda IG and TikTok: wizard_bisan1 | Twitter: @wizardbisan
Saleh Aljafarawi IG: @saleh_aljafarawi | Twitter: @S_Aljafarawi | TikTok: @saleh_aljafarawi97
Plestia Alaqad IG: @byplestia | TikTok: @plestiaaqad (left Gaza)
Wael Al-Dahdouh IG: @wael_eldahdouh | Twitter: @WaelDahdouh (left Gaza as of Jan 13)
Hind Khoudary IG: @hindkhoudary | Twitter: @Hind_Gaza
Ismail Jood IG and TikTok: @ismail.jood (announced end of coverage on Jan 25)
Yara Eid IG: @eid_yara | Twitter: @yaraeid_
Eye on Palestine IG: @eye.on.palestine | Twitter: @EyeonPalestine | TikTok: @eyes.on.palestine
Muhammad Shehada Twitter: @muhammadshehad2
(Edit: even though some journos have evacuated, the footage up to the end of their reporting is up on their social media, and they're also doing urgent fundraisers to get their families and friends to safety. Please donate or share their posts.)
News organisations
The Electronic Intifada Twitter: @intifada | IG: @electronicintifada
Quds News Network Twitter and Telegram: @QudsNen | IG: @qudsn (Arabic)
Times of Gaza IG: @timesofgaza | Twitter: @Timesofgaza | Telegram: @TIMESOFGAZA
The Palestine Chronicle Twitter: @PalestineChron | IG: @palestinechron | @palestinechronicle
Al-Jazeera Twitter: @AJEnglish | IG and TikTok: @aljazeeraenglish, @ajplus
Middle East Eye IG and TikTok: @middleeasteye | Twitter: @MiddleEastEye
Democracy Now Twitter and IG: @democracynow TikTok: @democracynow.org
Mondoweiss IG and TikTok: @mondoweiss | Twitter: @Mondoweiss
The Intercept Twitter and IG: @theintercept
MintPress Twitter: @MintPressNews | IG: mintpress
Novara Media Twitter and IG: @novaramedia
Truthout Twitter and IG: @truthout
Palestnians on Other Social Media
Noura Erakat: Legal scholar, human rights attorney, specialising in Israeli–Palestinian conflict. Twitter: @4noura | IG: @nouraerakat | (http://www.nouraerakat.com/)
Hebh Jamal: Journalist in Germany. IG and Twitter: @hebh_jamal
Taleed El Sabawi: Assistant professor of law and researcher in public health. Twitter: @el_sabawi | IG
Lexi Alexander: Filmmaker and activist. Twitter: @LexiAlex | IG: @lexialexander1
Mariam Barghouti: Writer, blogger, researcher, and journalist. Twitter: @MariamBarghouti | IG: @mariambarghouti
Rasha Abdulhadi: Queer poet, author and cultural organizer. Twitter: @rashaabdulhadi
Mohammed el-Kurd: Writer and activist from Jerusalem. IG: @mohammedelkurd | Twitter: @m7mdkurd
Ramy Abdu: Founder and Chairman of the Euro-Mediterranean Human Rights Monitor. Twitter: @RamyAbdu
Subhi: Founder of The Palestine Academy website. IG: @sbeih.jpg |TikTok @iamsbeih | Twitter: @iamsbeih
‼️How You Can Help Palestine‼️
Click for Palestine (Please reblog!!)
Masterlist of donation links by @sulfurcosmos (Please reblog!!)
Water for Gaza: Donate directly to the Gaza Municipality
Gazafunds (vetted and spotlighted GFMs)
The Butterfly Effect Project (spreadsheet of vetted GFMs)
Operation Olive Branch Linktree for vetted fundraisers, donations and political action resources. TikTok and Instagram: @operationolivebranch | Twitter: @OPOliveBranch
Spreadsheet of Gaza fundraisers vetted by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi
Political action to pressure the Harris campaign to stop arming Israel (for US citizens): Uncommitted Movement (TikTok: @uncommittedmvmt) (Please reblog!!)
If any links are broken let me know. Or pull up the current post to check whether it's fixed.
"Knowledge is Israel's worst enemy. Awareness is Israel's most hated and feared foe. That's why Israel bombs a university: it wants to kill openness and determination to refuse living under injustice and racism."
— Dr. Refaat Alareer, (martyred Dec 6, 2023)
From River To The Sea Palestine Will Be Free 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
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Edit 1: took the first video down because turns out the animator is a terf and it links to her blog. Really sorry for any distress.
Edit 2: All recommended readings + Haymarket recommendations + essential decolonization texts have been uploaded to my linked gdrive. I will adding more periodically. Please do buy or check them out from the library if possible, but this post was made for and by poor and gatekept Global South bitches like me.
Some have complained about the memes being disrespectful. You're actually legally obligated to make fun of Israeli propaganda and Zionists. I don't make the rules.
Edit 3: "The river to the sea" does not mean the expulsion of Jews from Palestine. Believing that is genocide apologia.
Edit 4: Gazans have specifically asked us to put every effort into pushing for a ceasefire instead of donations. "Raising humanitarian aid" is a grift Western governments are pushing right now to deflect from the fact that they're sending billions to Israel to keep carpet bombing Gazans. As long as the blockades are still in place there will never be enough aid for two million people. (UPDATE: PLEASE DONATE to the Gazan's GoFundMe fundraisers to help them buy food and get out of Rafah into Egypt. E-SIMs, food and medical supplies are also essential. Please donate to the orgs linked in the How You Can Help. Go on the strikes. DO NOT STOP PROTESTING.)
Edit 5: Google drive link for academic books folder has been fixed. Also have added a ton of resources to all the other folders so please check them out.
Edit 6: Added interactive maps, Jadaliya channel, and masterlists of donation links and protest support and of factsheets.
The twitter accounts I reposted as it was given to me and I just now realized it had too many Israeli voices and almost none of the Palestinians I'm following, so it's being edited. (Update: done!) also removed sources like Jewish Voices of Peace and Breaking the Silence that do good work but have come under fair criticism from Palestinians.
Edit 7: Complete reformatting
Edit 8: Complete revamping of the social media section. It now reflects my own following list.
Edit 9: removed some more problematic people from the allies list. Remember that the 2SS is a grift that's used to normalize violence and occupation, kids. Supporting the one-state solution is lowest possible bar for allyship. It's "Free Palestine" not "Free half of Palestine and hope Israel doesn't go right back to killing them".
Edit 10: added The Palestine Directory + Al Jazeera documentary + Addameer. This "100 links per post" thing sucks.
Edit 11: more documentaries and films
Edit 12: reformatted reading list
Edit 13: had to remove @palipunk's masterlist to add another podcast. It's their pinned post and has more resources Palestinian culture and crafts if you want to check it out
Edit 14 6th May '24: I've stopped updating this masterlist so some things, like journalists still left in Gaza and how to support the student protests are missing. I've had to take a step back and am no longer able to track these things down on my own, and I've hit the '100 links per post' limit, but if you can leave suggestions for updates along with links in either the replies or my asks I will try and add them.
Edit 15 10th August: added to Palestinian allies list and reworked the Help for Palestine section. There's been a racist harrassment campaign against the Palestinian Tumblrs that vetted the Gaza fundraisers based off one mistake made by a Gazan who doesn't understand English. If you're an ally, shut that shit down. Even if you donate to a scam GFM, you're only out some coffee money; if everyone stops donating to all the GFMs in fear of scams, those families die.
#free palestine#palestine resources#palestine reading list#decolonization#israel palestine conflict#israel palestine war#british empire#american imperialism#apartheid#social justice#middle east history#MENA#arab history#anti zionism#palestinian art#palestinian history#palestinian culture#palestinian genocide#al nakba#ethnic cleansing#war crimes#racism#imperialism#colonialism#british colonialism#knee of huss#ask to tag#Youtube
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Not to derail how absolutely abhorrent, bland, and full of military ass kissing shit biden’s literal speeches are, but I wanted to also take the time on the post to point out how shitty Israel is!
here is an article about how israel treats the actual Holocaust survivors it took in. yk. the whole reason israel was supposed to have been created in the first place. they've been withholding these peoples' benefits and many live under the poverty line. all holocaust survivors are going to be dead by 2025. it's a huge disgrace.
how israel changed the historic names of palestine's cities to sound more "hebrew" and therefore jewish. to make it sound like they were "reclaiming" the land. it started when "israel" was first established. everything in "israel" should be in arabic, not hebrew. bc time passed. and a whole civilization was literally already there when they got there. so most names in "israel" are arabic that looks more english/hebrew. it’s erasure of the literal history here.
instagram
some more proof I have found of how i*rael treats holocaust survivors if anyone wanted further proof of how deeply fucked up this state is. these are the posts/articles that genuinely broke any semblance israel had any worth even within itself, and ofc the focus should be on palestinians but in case anyone needed that final peg of colonialism worth knocked out like I did. there are Zero redeeming qualities.
and last but never the least and in fact the most important, links to help palestine.
first is arab.org, my personal favorite, that uses the click money from an ad to fund donations to palestine. great way to help if you can’t donate now! anything always helps, even just spreading posts is doing something great.
second is a list of companies to boycott that helps me out a lot when I’m shopping. it even has alternatives, the reasons not to buy the product, and a very handy search function. it is consistently updating!
third is an Amazing list by @sulfurcosmos of ways you can help Palestine. includes how to write letters of protest, calls to make, donation organizations, and is regularly updated.
free palestine. from the river to the sea palestine will be free. 🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸
The Most Progressive President In History, on the genocide of Palestinians: "They're animals. They're animals. [...] They're a brutal, ugly, inhumane people, and they have to be eliminated."
#I'd like to highly recommend his other speeches so far that are so far military ass kissing bs and how much america loves israel#aka how much a colonizer country loves its baby colony that's murdering millions and laughing abt it#genuinely such a disappointment. but honestly any other president would've done the same. they're all military ass kissers.#I mean yeah they’re the military heads but like fuck em honestly jesus fucking christ#anyways thank you for reading so far <3 take care of yourself first and never lose hope for gaza ! o9#share share share posts abt palestine on social media anything and everywhere it will help#save a ton of stuff and take screenshots and recordings in case they get censored or taken down too that is also important#free palestine#free gaza#OH and research research research!!! look for so many resources to learn more abt gaza’s history#and the violent colonization of their land by america and europe and the absolute divorce it has from actual jewish people#theres so many protests and people speaking up and it does make a difference to keep talking about it#the only way to fail is to forget#all my words are inspired by the words of palestinians themselves from instagram I will happily share if anyone wants#I just don’t know if overloading a post with links can hurt it#anyways !!!! keep working !!!! it will be a long term effort !!!!!!#ceasefire now#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#gaza genocide#antisemitism#Instagram
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I haven’t seen this linked on here so: this is an awesome resource for how you can help the people in Palestine. It has donation links, helps you figure out how to contact your representatives, and a regularly updated list of planned protests. It is USAmerican centric but the list of protests is international.
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In Gaza, journalists are passing out from exhaustion and famine. Despite the ICJ ruling, the US and Australia are intentionally defunding UNWRA based on baseless claims by Israel that members of the aid group are Hamas-sympathizers. Netanyahu, of course, has ignored the ICJ ruling. Israel has banned insulin pens from arriving in Gaza, a particularly cruel and inhumane crime to add to their laundry list of offences. Nothing has changed, and things are getting worse.
It is not that hard to not buy things. To not watch things. Perhaps it is inconvenient, and makes you go out of your way, and costs a little more to buy alternatives. But if you were to attend a funeral a day for every child that has died in Gaza so far, it would take you over 27 years. When the worst that will happen to you is that you don't watch a TV show featuring a zionist, you don't buy a specific brand that donates to and supports zionism, how could that possibly compare to the plight of Palestinians who must amputate limbs without anesthesia?
Once again, this is the BDS list of brands to boycott.
Here is a comprehensive post about more actions you can take in support of Palestine.
Here is a list of verifiable orgs that provide aid on the ground.
credible organisations that are doing work on the ground in Palestine:
Care for Gaza:non-profit charity that distributes money, food and other resources directly to families in Gaza.They maintain a regular presence on Twitter and Instagram. You can donate to them via Paypal here.
PCRF / Palestine Children's Relief Fund: non-profit organisation that distributes essential food and resources to families in Gaza. Most recently, they delivered 30 tons of vital medicine, and 82,000 pounds of flour.
Medical Aid For Palestinians: deploys medical teams to treat Palestinians suffering under Israel's malicious bombardments.
Donate e-sims to Palestine: massive post with tutorials and relevant links, with discount codes included in the post and in the replies.
Direct Aid: humanitarian fund distributing supplies such as blankets and winter jackets directly to Palestinian families.
help people leave palestine (donate what you can)
Help a Family Evacuate Gaza (GoGetFunding)
Save Sanaa and her Family (Gofundme)
Save Amjad Saher and his family (Gofundme)
Help a family of 13 escape Gaza (Gofundme)
Help a Palestinian children's book illustrator save her family of 12 (Gofundme)
Today, tomorrow and until Israel faces justice for their crimes, learn how to prioritise Palestine over your own comfort.
#the defunding of the unwra as israel further escalates their unimaginable cruelty produces an indescribable rage#these western leaders deserve to be fucking stoned#nothing comes in the way of western hegemony and their commitment to upholding unforgivable cruelty for profit#palestine#free palestine#free gaza#free west bank#fuck israel
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Here's a Palestinian that needs your help. Fadel ( @fadel-aldani1 ) is a 23 year old, currently displaced in Gaza with his family. Before the genocide started, he was a student in Advanced Technology, but his studies have come to a stop because of the tragedy happening in Palestine. I'll be sharing in this post some photos Fadel sent me of what his life is like under the genocide
Because of the Israeli occupation's attack on his land, his house has been destroyed from the bombings. Fadel and his family were injured, and there were very few hospitals that could treat them, since most hospitals have also been reduced to rubble. Fadel is in need of surgery, and it cannot be performed in Gaza due to the lack of resources
Fadel lives in pain every day, with shrapnel inside his body. He urgently needs to be evacuated out of Gaza to receive proper treatment, and the cost of this is very high
On September 19th, he set up a gofundme to cover the costs, but his campaign has been going very slowly, so far raising only €775/€10,000. Please, if you are able to, donate to his campaign, and share it even if you can't donate. His time is running out and he urgently needs our help. We must do everything we can to help the people of Palestine
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT EDIT: Fadel's previous campaign was shut down by gofundme!! He had to make a new one and it's severely underfunded, please share the new link:
Fadel's campaign has been verified by gazavetters, line 197 on their spreadsheet
#palestine#free palestine#help palestine#i stand with palestine#justice for palestine#keep talking about palestine#long live palestine#palestine genocide#palestine will be free#palestinian genocide#all eyes on palestine#support palestine#stand with palestine#save palestine#pro palestine#free gaza#gaza strip#gaza genocide#war on gaza#stand with gaza#save gaza#i stand with gaza#help gaza#gazaunderfire#gazaunderattack#gaza war#gaza under attack#gaza
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gaza scam warning
I'm locking this post because it was about the original wave of gaza-scams and is now outdated when it comes to recent real fundraisers that have been appearing on Tumblr. Please don't pass up people in need because you're afraid of scams. Identifying scams from the real fundraisers is easy.
@el-shab-hussein does a lot of vetting on Tumblr. @nabulsi is another reliable user who has done vetting (but as of this time is not vetting new posts). @90-ghost is a real palestinian person but they don't do a lot of in-depth vetting.
el-shab-hussein and nabulsi have a vetted fundraiser google sheet. el-shab-hussein has a list of direct contacts in gaza/yemen who are certifiably real people. operation olive branch is a coordinated effort to gather certified crowdfunding campaigns both for families and humanitarian provisions.
When you receive an ask, check any of the above resources to see if they're there. Some also have pre-existing social media accounts, such as Instagram, that they certify as theirs and prove that they are a real person in Palestine. Scroll down their blog, look at the notes in their post, and look for confirmation that they are verified anywhere (do not trust their claims until you see the confirmation yourself).
Then if you see confirmation that they are a real person in Palestine who needs help, reblog their post and maybe donate $5.
Feel free to message me about anyone who sends you an ask that seems suspicious and I'll tell you if they resemble any scam archetypes I've seen.
Original post:
Hey gamers, recently there have been a number of scam blogs on tumblr claiming to be Gazan victims. They've been making a number of iterations of the exact same blog and story but with different names and sometimes different PayPal links.
Thus far, the content of these scams are being stolen from 2 real fundraisers. Please lend your aid to these people who need help instead of the disgusting scam farm
Help Haya Orouq's family escape Gaza
Help Rawan AbuMahady's family escape Gaza
These are examples within the past month which have been deleted.
Ma22ya
Khalilhan
jovialsuitdonutai
miniaturepostkingjaiur
Donation scams on tumblr are extremely common and anyone who has a tumblr account will encounter them at some point. You have likely encountered them before and not realized it. They throw together a brand new blog with a story of needing aid, then use bots to go through follow lists and post notes to send messages to random users. Scambusting blogs like kyra45 do a lot of work to track and call out these scams when they surface.
Scam Spotting Tips
They send an ask often accompanied with a follow despite having never interacted with you before. Ask yourself: How did you find your blog? These interactions usually come out of nowhere when you have no original posts or interests they could've found you through, because they're just going down the lists of random blogs.
They reblog just enough posts to make you think that their blog is in-use when it is actually only a day or a few old. Enable timestamps and try find the blog's oldest post; if a blog seems old but still seems suspicious, be wary of post backdating
They often disable or delete comments on their donation post to hide comments that call them out. Open the notes and see if it says "some replies have been hidden, blocked or removed." Blocked/hidden comments sometimes still appear in reblogs of a post but not the original, so open a random reblog and see if telling comments appear there.
It isn't unusual for the story and the ask to either be exact copy-pastes of each other, or otherwise have very telling suspicious details, such as: using different names, having different goal amounts, contrasting story details, etc. Pay attention to and trust the suspicion of details that stand out as odd.
Like many of the above examples, they often use an automatically generated username consisting of random words
Reverse image searching can be a helpful giveaway if it works, but don't trust it entirely - scammers often steal images from private Facebook groups/profiles or alter the images so that people don't find the source. An image not having a source should also be suspicious, as you should wonder why this person's social media presence is exclusively a 3 day old tumblr blog
When you receive an ask from a blog like this, reporting them for spam or phishing and reporting the PayPal account for fraudulent activity does help get these accounts taken down.
In name of the situation, here are great verified resources to support real people who need help:
Many organizations and gofundmes for Gaza
Verified fundraisers for individuals in Gaza put together by @palestineasdiqa on Instagram and Twitter
Click to donate for free using ad revenue
Participation and political resources for US, UK and Canada
USPCR's toolkit
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i want you all to understand this.
insulin pens are very often used by diabetic children (or their parents, but they were very easy to use during the short time i was prescribed them when i was a child myself). they’re less cumbersome, produce less waste, and are far easier than pulling insulin from a vial with a single use syringe, as syringes are much more susceptible to air bubbles, which result in the diabetic not getting enough medication. i’m explaining this part because i know that some diabetic adults do also use them, and i’m sure that that’s true of diabetic adults in palestine with such scarce resources. when it’s life or death, you can’t really be picky.
the israeli occupation is now banning insulin pens from entering gaza.
lack of insulin results in diabetic ketoacidosis — essentially a very, very dangerous version of the effects of the keto diet. insulin is a key for the sugar from one’s food (both slow and fast acting, since all food has some carbohydrates, from nuts to potatoes to table sugar) to get from their bloodstream into their cells. without insulin, the body resorts to eating through its own fat stores rather than the sugar it cannot access and tries to flush the excess glucose that is in the blood through the urine. this results in weight loss, headaches, nausea, dehydration, blurred vision, abdominal pain, impaired mental faculties, and, if left untreated, will result in a coma, and eventually death within a matter of weeks. not “can.” it will kill you if not treated, and was largely considered a lethal diagnosis until insulin was discovered in the early 1900s and made readily available in 1922.
i’ve been in dka. admittedly, i was very young and have blocked much of it out. but i do remember that it fucking sucked. i couldn’t focus on anything, i was ravenous no matter how much i ate, and the room spinning to the point i felt like i was going to throw up became an increasingly regular occurrence. i was seven years old and wasting away like i was starved. i was dying. a few more days, and i likely would’ve gone into a coma and might not be here now.
to inflict that, willingly and knowingly, on innocent people, is nothing short of a crime against humanity, and violates the geneva conventions (item 2.a.ii. torture or inhumane treatment, including biological experiments and item 2.a.iii. willfully causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health). not that the israeli occupation cares, of course, as south african prosecutors have already extensively detailed their crimes in the icj, and this one in particular has already been committed near-countless times.
this entire occupation is a genocide, and this is only one more nail in that coffin. but, as a diabetic — as a human being who has been in that state and was lucky enough to have the resources to live almost another fifteen years (with the anniversary of my own diagnosis about halfway through next month), i can’t find the words to express my disgust and rage anymore. maybe it’s selfish to be so deeply impacted by this particular blow. i don’t know. but these people have done nothing wrong but be disabled in gaza, and as someone with the same disability, i know that no one deserves this, even if they have committed a crime (which, again, these civilians, largely children, have not). i will not fucking stand for it.
we need a ceasefire. we need an end to the occupation. we need a free palestine. now.
here’s a masterpost of how you can help.
EDIT: here’s a post on how to help diabetics in gaza specifically
#free palestine#free gaza#israeli war crimes#actuallydiabetic#actually diabetic#actuallydisabled#actually disabled#shut up emrys
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Note: If aren't going to participate in Pro-Palestine action, do not mention it!
For accountability:
This is how Magz plans support Palestine during Global Strike January 21 to 28.
Am going to put more Palestine posts in queue, with more focus.
Am going to not spend on anything during week, nor go out (rare anyway).
Am going to not publicly post our arts and promos (of art freelance work).
Am going to read and learn more on Palestine - as there still more can learn.
Am going to be even more visibly pro-Palestinian.
Am going to continue keeping up with what's happening in Gaza.
Am going to continue boycotting products and services on BDS' Boycott List, including not giving free social media promo and good impressions.
Am going to try learn Palestinian Arabic.
Am going to describe, transcribe, and alt text posts on Palestine when possible - to make it more accessible (Am Multiply Disabled).
Am going to share ways to help.
One of shorter checklist options:
Longer checklists:
But really just do *anything* that support and raise awareness *more*, learn, or contribute. Whatever can manage do n able sustain.
If wasn't able to prepare in time, can still participate for rest of week. Is not "all or nothing", don't have to give up. Keep Palestine in your thoughts and actions !
Some links:
https://samidoun.net/2023/12/calendar-of-resistance-for-palestine-2024/
Popular Palestine Accounts:
https://www.instagram.com/motaz_azaiza/
https://www.instagram.com/wizard_bisan1/
https://www.instagram.com/everydaypalestine/
https://www.instagram.com/letstalkpalestine/
(Has graphic footage) https://www.instagram.com/eye.on.palestine/
Some Useful Posts:
Hussyknee's Palestine Masterpost
PaliPunk's Palestine MasterList
SulfurCosmos' "Palestinian Owned Companies" List (for later)
Paradox_Punch's "Pro-Palestine Brands" Twitter Thread (for later)
SulfurCosmos' "Preserving Gaza's Universities"
LoveLetter2You's Learn Palestinian Arabic Masterpost
How To Archive For Palestine
(rest of Magz's #palestine tag)
(#AltTextPalestine on Twitter)
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Abdulsalam contacted me to try to help raise and spread a fundraiser for his family. He has a wife, a child (1), his parents and his three brothers, who all need to get out of Palestine. Especially considering the up-coming winter and lack of resources! Please donate and/or share. <3
Vetted here by @gazavetters
Tagging for reach
@heritageposts @neechees @toesuckingoctober @2spirit-0spoons
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IMPORTANT: KOSA MASTERPOST
Please, don't just scroll past! Share, reblog, and check out the content on these links! I will be adding things as I find (so make sure you reblog the original post, you can do this by clicking on my name and going to the pinned post which is this!!) and/or as the situation changes, and if there are resources you want to see added, send them to me.
LATEST UPDATES: HERE (as of 5/1/24)
INFORMATION
What happens if KOSA passes?
What's at stake?
KOSA isn't designed to help kids.
How will KOSA passing affect you?
KOSA is a privacy nightmare.
Banning kids from social media isn't the answer.
American Action Forum
90+ LGBTQ organizations oppose KOSA
Popular Apps affected by KOSA
Rally for the Internet Archive
KOSA changes don't make it less dangerous
Senate Schedule
Current KOSA status (sign up to get alerts from this if you're able!)
KOSA will actively target trans and LGBTQ+ content
The TikTok ban isn't about China, it's the fact that it's largely pro-palestine and has other content the government doesn't want us talking about.
KOSA applies to EVERYONE here.
Israel is revealed to be behind the infamous Tiktok ban
Read the bill itself
Call Script for KOSA
An actually helpful alternative
RESOURCES
Huge list of resources
Tell Congress
Tell Lizzo
Linktree
Bad Internet Bills
StopKOSA.com
Petition - we need 35k signatures and we're almost there!
Contact list
Fight for the future
Speak out against KOSA
Censorship won't make kids safe
Internet red alert
EFF Action Center
More Petitions List (check and sign as many as you can!)
Fight against the TikTok ban as well
Another petition - 123,000/130,000 signatures
Share your story of how social media has helped you
Help keep the ACP alive
Another masterpost
WHERE ELSE CAN YOU FIND MORE RESOURCES?
The Stop Internet Censorship discord server has a ton of useful resources that I pulled from some of to make this post, even. Following and looking at tags like #stop kosa will help make sure you stay informed and they stay trending, as well.
EVERYTHING HELPS!! Let's make sure this bill doesn't pass! Reblogs > likes!!
last updated: 8:18 pm EST, 5/9/24
#kosa bill#stop kosa#fuck kosa#kosa#stop kids online safety act#kids online safety bill#kids online safety act#very important#important#bad internet bills#internet freedom#internet safety#lgbtq#trans#queer rights#queer issues#call your representatives#easter black out#free palestine#tiktok ban#stop tiktok ban
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Funds for rebuilding life in Gaza are important!! Posts after posts of Free Palestine doesn't do anything, if you do not at least interact with campaigns where a Gazan is saying that he plans to stay on and rebuild his life in his homeland.
@siraj2024 has a short term goal of 10 thousand CAD
10k is all he is asking for now because he wants to relocate safely to another camp!!
At this very moment when you are rushing to go to work or spending a lazy afternoon, a father from Gaza is using what little data there is left on the e-sim to scroll through an unfamiliar website, going blog to blog to request people to care about his campaign.
Siraj has been forced to move six times during this terrible genocide. Everytime a place starts to feel safe, the occupation attacks it via bombing and shelling. Do you understand how much of a psychological torture this is??? Not to mention how financially devastating it is to flee with a stagnating campaign? Tents need money, threadbare mats for sleeping are expensive, medicine (what little is left) drains away so much resources...THIS IS WHY HE NEEDS 10K !!
Siraj dreams of living on in Gaza. He plans to rebuild his house on the soil that is rightfully his !!! No matter how much Zionists gnash their teeth and mock him and goad him in his DMs, Siraj is steadfast about surviving and rebuilding his children's life in Gaza.
This is why he needs your help! Help him relocate because Gaza is not dead!! There won't be those ugly Zionist beach resorts, there won't be any ugly settlements for colonizers to move into no matter how much they whine. Palestine will be free and Gaza will be rebuilt but for that to happen, campaigns like that of Siraj's need your attention!
There are two raffles being held for Siraj if you need further incentive!
@sheplaysbassdotmp3 is holding an art raffle for Siraj
@magnus-rhymes-with-swagness too is holding a raffle of a giveaway of the Collector's edition of Time quintet for Siraj and other Palestinian families.
So please give Siraj your attention. For Palestine to live on, for Palestine to be free campaigns of families who want to rebuild their lives back in Gaza, are tremendously important!!
Currently at $7274 CAD
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Unexpected Babysitting
Link to help Palestine and other resources! 🇵🇸
[Plain text: Links to help Palestine and other resources! (palestine flag). End plain text.]
[Image description] Digital comic of Ace Attorney characters: Miles Edgeworth, Cody Hackins, Maya Fey, and Pearl Fey.
Page one: Colorful, blurred image of Amusement park’s entrance. People are walking around. Text: “Amusement Park: Steel Samurai special event.” Miles is walking and is internally excited. There are people walking around behind him. Miles’ thoughts: “They’re giving out exclusive Steel Samurai merchandise today! Yippie! Yippie!” There is a small drawing of Miles in his thought excitedly moving his hands up and down. Text box: “Bought a pass one month in advance.”
Page two: Cody yells “Hey, Pops with the frilly thing!!” Miles is surprised and turns around to see an upset Cody standing behind him. Cody, point at Miles: What are you doing here?! Don’t tell me something bad happened again!” Miles frantically tries to explain, “Wha— Ergh! Nothing happened- I’m just…” Cody interrupts him, and stomps his foot. Cody: “Yeah right! Why are you here then?!” Miles: “Ghk!” Maya is off screen and calls out to Miles, “Ah! It’s Edgeworth! And Cody!” Miles and Cody turns towards her.
Page three: Maya and Pearl are walking up to them. Maya is smiling and Pearl is shyly holding Maya’s hand. Maya: “What are you doing here, Edgeworth?” Pearl: “Hello, Mr. Edgeworth.” Maya, snickering: “Maybe you’re here because a “certain someone” is in today’s stage play?” Miles is embarrassed, clenching his jaw and his eyes are closed. Behind him are texts: “Why does this happen every time? I just want to enjoy the show in peace, ALONE. I knew I should’ve worn the disguise today!” There is a little drawing of Miles with “said disguise”. He is fixing his sunglasses with his right hand and a black coat over his usual suit. The kids start approaching Miles. Maya with a mischievous smile: “Aww, don’t be embarrassed! I love Steel Samurai, too!” Pearl: “Me, too!” Cody with his hands raised to his chest: “What?! You like Steel Samurai, too, Pops?!” Miles is backing away, embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Page four: Two sketches of different scenes. Miles is paying for everyone’s food. Behind him, Maya has one arm raised over her head: “Yay~!! Thanks, Edgeworth!” Pearl is holding onto Maya’s arm: “Thank you, Mr. Edgeworth!” Cody has his hands raised to his chest again “You’re not so bad after all, Pops!” Second sketch: Miles is facing an off screen worker with a glare. “Excuse me. She asked for no pickles.” Pearl is behind him with tears in her eyes and she is holding her hands up to her chest. Maya and Cody are sitting at a table eating burgers. Maya is looking at Pearl with worry. End description.]
I wanted to have the Steel Samurai fans hang out 🥺🤲 They probably discuss a bunch of facts and share their interpretations about it together.
Miles does not know how to interact with kids, that’s for sure LOL Maya making fun of Miles for his crush on WP is now my favorite thing (There was supposed to be a whole scene with PowersWorth, but maybe another time)🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️ I’m assuming Pearl got into Steel Samurai because Maya likes it!
Also, I really like how the anime emphasizes Cody’s impact on Miles. I feel like he was the catalyst for Miles to change. And the scenes of Miles struggling (and losing) against Cody in the games were very cute 🥹
#image description#described#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#miles edgeworth#cody hackins#maya fey#pearl fey#art#digital art#my art#comic#SinnaArt
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all the things i would do || one shot
joel miller x f!reader
masterlist | ao3 | resources on how to help Palestine here <3
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: porn no plot. joel finds an article of clothing that belongs to you and there’s nothing holding him back once he gets his hands on them.
rating: explicit, 18+ MDNI
content warnings: [Post Outbreak], jackson era, established relationship, implied age gap (25+ years), joel is canon age, slightly domestic joel (blink and it’s gone), joel has a panty kink, panty sniffing, masturbation (m), soft dom!joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex, pet names (use of baby, sweet baby, sweetheart, love), smidgen of fluff (these two are so in love it’s sickening), an inkling of a size kink (but in my head joel’s at least 6’5, he’s a BIG big man in my brain), joel’s filthy mouth, praise kink, hint of sub!joel, nipple play, one use of the word ‘Daddy’ (moots don’t look at me I couldn’t help it), slight tummy kink/tummy worship, cum eating. Joel’s POV. No use of Y/N. No physical descriptions of reader other than having hair long enough that it’s past her shoulders.
word count: 3.1k
a/n: so, a few things before we get started. i’m new to writing fics and this is my first time publicly putting out a fic that wasn’t just for shits and giggles for my friends and i and i’m so fucking nervous like the amount of times i’ve panicked over this is a little embarrassing to admit but we ball. shout out to @skrunkly-scrimblo for encouraging me to actually write this all those months ago and for all your brilliant ideas and encouragement and practically holding my hand through it since day one. another big thank you to kat, aura, and naya for beta reading and helping me during the editing process. okay i’m done rambling, enjoy some of the filth that constantly plagues my brain <3
Joel’s eyes blink open slowly, the sun peeks into the bedroom through the curtains across the room. For a moment he searches for you beside him, but remembers you’ve already left for the day out on patrol duty. Joel harrumphs, still bothered over letting you and Ellie bully him out of his patrol duties. “You’ve been hurting yourself too much baby,” You had told him a few weeks ago over breakfast. “Yeah, you’re an old man now. You fall over one more time and you’re done.” Ellie snickers from her seat in the kitchen. Joel just rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the dishes, but you had caught the small grin on his face when he turned his head back to the sink. Against the two of you, Joel never stood a chance.
Joel drags himself out of bed towards his dresser to grab a new set of clothes. He throws on a blue shirt that fits a little snug on his well built form, the thin material stretches over his broad shoulders, across his strong back, and pulls taut over his biceps and he grunts as he pulls a pair of dark wash jeans over his strong, thick thighs, securing them in place with a distressed leather belt that he’s had for years. Once he’s dressed, he takes in the mess in the room. He notices both of your clothes from the night before are still scattered around the room. He bends down to pick them up, he grunts as his knees pop when he stands back up. He starts gathering them up to toss them into the hamper already overflowing with clothes. The last article of clothing out of place is yours. Your black lace panties on the armchair in the corner. He grabs them and his eyes widen when he feels it, the center still wet from him making you come earlier. His cock instantly hardened in his jeans.
Joel turns on his heel and in just a few long strides he’s in your shared bathroom. He deliberately avoids the mirror, knowing that if he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror he’ll disgust himself even more. Briskly, he sets the laundry hamper on the tile near the bathtub. Joel brings the thin black lace up to his face, closes his eyes and he sniffs them, breathing you in completely. He groans at the scent of you. His cock painfully hard now. He knows he shouldn't but he can't help it. He’s addicted to you and he knows he can’t wait til you get home. He knows he can’t wait to have his way with you, dig into you any way that you will let him. So, without another second of hesitation, Joel unbuckles his belt, a clink from the metal hitting the edge of the counter, unzips his jeans and takes his thick, heavy cock out, and then brings your soaked panties to his angry, leaking tip. His precum meets the wetness of your panties and he hisses at the feeling. With the wetness of the gusset of your panties acting as a lubricant, Joel begins to slowly stroke himself, wanting to take his time, savoring every feeling, relishing in it. Joel soon becomes too desperate for release, he quickly loses control, his hips moving faster to fuck his hand, his hand tightening around his cock, the grip almost painful now. His eyes are screwed shut, as he throws his head back, the night before instantly replaying in his head.
He had just gotten out of the shower to find you sprawled out on your stomach on your side of the bed, ankles crossed in the air. He rakes his eyes over your form until his eyes land on your ass. You were wearing the panties he was currently fucking his hand with. You didn’t notice him stepping out of the bathroom, too busy looking at the photo album you had just put together. It’s relatively new, most of the pages empty, yet you were looking at the photos you had taken earlier that week at the Tipsy Bison. The one that had your attention was a photo of you and Joel that Ellie had taken. Neither of you looked at the camera, the photo had captured you mid-laugh, head tilting back, eyes shut, it was a full belly laugh at something Joel had said. Joel’s arm was around your shoulder tucking you into his side, smiling down at you, a rare type of smile, one reserved only for you.
Leaning on the entryway, his arms crossed over his broad, tanned chest, he smiles at the view. You’re in nothing but your panties in his bed, in his home. His feet move without thinking, walking over to you. He brushes your hair over your shoulder, tracing his fingers over your soft supple skin down your back and over the lace of your panties, and lightly pinches your ass. “So pretty sweet baby,” he says shyly, almost like he’s speaking to himself. You turn your head to look up at him, smiling. Wordlessly, he took the photo album from your hands, placing it on your nightstand. He gets in the bed, carefully sitting on his knees while attempting to avoid loosening the off-white towel around his waist. You roll onto your back to face him, his silver curls still damp from the shower as water still drips onto his strong shoulders. He combs his hair back after a shower and the ends tend to curl up around his ears. It’s been months since you last cut his hair but you like his hair longer, you had whispered to him in the darkness of your bedroom, your naked, sweaty limbs tangled up together between his sheets. From that night on he hasn’t asked you to cut it for him. He likes it because you like it.
While you’re busy ogling him, Joel’s hands immediately reach to trace the floral lace pattern before toying with the little satin black bow at the center front. His rough, calloused hands slide up your bare thighs, wrapping his large hands around your thighs and he pries open your legs, his hazel eyes locked in on your center like a bullseye and you notice the cocky smirk he’s got plastered on his face, pleased with himself that he’s already got you wet for him.
He brings two thick fingers to slide over your covered cunt. He feels the wetness on the material and he pulls back to look up at you and finds your attention on his fingers. “What a mess you made, pretty girl,” he murmurs. You’re watching the movement of his fingers, entranced by his fingers teasing your pussy as he glides them up and down your slit. He clicks his tongue at you, “so wet for me huh baby? Always so wet for me. So perfect,” he smirks to himself as he gently pulls your panties to the side, revealing your aching, needy cunt. He lowers his head placing gentle kisses on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his lips tracing and peppering your skin all the way towards your center, his mouth hovering over the place you need him most and you shiver beneath him.
“Joel,” you whisper, he chuckles seeing you all worked up for him. “Baby please,” you whimper.
“What is it baby?” he tuts, “use your words, sweet girl,” he tilts his head slightly with a smug grin on his face. His fingers move up and down your folds.
“N-need them inside me, p-please,” you whimper as you claw at his forearms, clutching them for stability.
“Alright baby, lemme taste her first,” He lays flat on his stomach, moves his arms under your legs, and hoists them up over his broad shoulders. He lowers his mouth onto your cunt and the tip of his tongue licks through your folds. He hums at the sweet taste of you on his tongue. He flattens his tongue and licks a long thick stripe and he groans lowly, the vibrations making you squirm under him.
“Fuck, more baby,” you beg. You gasp at the hook of his nose bumping your clit. Your hands fly to his hair, eyes closing swiftly, brows furrowed as you let out a loud moan.
“There she is,” he smirks. He flicks his tongue over your clit. His eyes slip closed as he relishes in the noises leaving your mouth, like music to his ears. Your hips buck up into his face, selfishly grinding your cunt for more. Joel’s eyes flicker back up your face, “eyes on me sweetheart,” he murmurs. Your eyes snap open to watch him as he brings his fingers back up to your cunt, two thick fingers dip into you and you can hear the wet squelch as he eases his fingers in, simultaneously, he circles his tongue around your clit. He pumps his fingers slowly in and out of you, his tongue lapping at your cunt. You feel the pressure building up more intensely inside of your belly and then you’re chanting his name as he curls his fingers inside you, petting at the spongy spot he knows will break you. He closes his mouth around your clit and he sucks hard.
“Fuck, Joel, yes yes,” Your hips bucking up into his face, your legs start to shake as you come on his face and your cunt tightening around his fingers, a loud strangled moan filling the air.
“That’s my girl,” he says as he watches you gasp above him, pressing a quick kiss to your clit. Your eyes flutter open just in time to see him removing his fingers, all wet and shiny, and putting them in his slick covered mouth, sucking them clean.
Softly, he grabs your ankles, pulling you down towards the edge of the bed eliciting a giggle. His favorite sound…well one of his favorites. His favorite being the next sound that comes out of your mouth when he quickly pulls your panties down. He sees the wet shine of your cum in the center and his face lights up with glee. “You made such a mess ‘a your panties, baby,” he tuts before tossing them across the room. He unties the towel from his waist and lets it fall and it pools around his legs, revealing his thick, heavy cock, the tip angry and beads of precum seeping out of the slit. You place your hands around your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, presenting your already spent pussy to him once again and he groans roughly.
He leans forward, his fingers running through your folds once more, and you quiver at his touch. He gathers your cum on his fingers and strokes himself twice before he dips the wide tip of his cock inside of you. A whine leaves your lips. That. That was his favorite sound. He doesn’t push in further… he doesn’t move an inch. He’s teasing you…wants you to ask nicely for it. Like clockwork his voice laced with honey he says “Ask for it baby, ask for my cock.”
Desperate, you whine again “please joel… I need your cock.” Your needy fingers trail lightly over his soft belly, sitting up slightly, you place soft kisses from his belly button down to the dark patch of hair above his cock, his body trembles at the feeling of your lips ghosting over his belly and a breathy moan escapes his lips. He laces his fingers with yours, bringing your hands near your head, his large form encompassing your smaller frame, he lowers himself down over you, his lips brushing against yours. “Baby, please. Please fuck my pussy” you mewl. He pushes his cock deeper, deeper, and deeper til the head of his cock kisses your cervix, provoking a loud groan from him against your ear as he nestles himself into you, where he belongs.
“See baby all you had to do was ask politely” Joel cooes. He drags his hips back, leaving only his tip inside you once again and you clench around him. “Fuck, goddamn you’re fucking tight,” he grits. Slowly he starts thrusting his tip in and out.
You whine again, “Baby don’t be mean. I want all of it.”
“Shh..I know baby, I know,” he soothes. Then in one long single thrust, he wedges his cock back inside of you to the hilt, bottoming out into your cunt, hitting the spot that only he knows with a loud ragged groan into the crook of your neck. His cock is stretching you out, feeling every twitch, he’s everywhere and it’s overwhelming. He hitches your legs up towards your chest, opening you up more, your chest pressed tightly against his, he drags the weight of his cock languidly between your slick, moaning at the wet sound of his balls slapping against your ass fills the room.
When you look up at him it’s like you can see a lightbulb go off in his head and before you know it, Joel’s large hands grab the swell of your ass, he picks you up, and repositions you both so he’s on his back and has you sitting on his thick cock. He wants you to ride him. In this position you can feel him in the deepest parts of your belly and it hurts just a little bit but you find pleasure in it, you always have.
Leaning forward, you place your hands on the headboard and arching your back a bit more, Joel's head falls back down onto the pillows. At the sudden change of the angle, his eyes shut for just a second before he’s snapping them right back open. He doesn’t want to miss a single thing. He wants to see it all. He watches how your breasts bounce as you move and quickly, he leans up to catch a nipple in his mouth. He’s licking and sucking all over your pebbled nipple and then his teeth graze along the hardened peak before swiftly pulling it between his teeth. He moves onto the other and he flicks his tongue over your nipple, he sucks and nips at it lightly before he lets your tit fall from his mouth, admiring the slight bounce of your breast before his eyes lock in on your face, watching your face contort and your mouth open while you seek your high. It's his favorite thing, watching you like this.
“Jesus Christ, look at you, you’re takin’ me so well,” he groans.
The grip of his hands on your hips tightens but doesn’t guide you, just seeks some ounce of control. You lean forward more so your clit brushes ever so slightly against the dark patch of curls at his base. The friction makes you approach your orgasm quickly. Joel’s eyes flicker down to where you two are connected, taking pleasure in seeing his cock splitting you open, watching as it disappears deep inside of you.
“That’s it, baby. Fuck….use me. Fuck yourself on daddy’s cock, atta girl,” You roll your hips faster, grinding harder on his cock, greedy and desperate to come again. “C’mon baby, come all over my cock.”
His words and your clit repeatedly pressing against him make your hips stutter and you clench around him as your orgasm finally washes over you, harder than before. Your body goes limp on his chest. Joel doesn’t let up, he grabs your thighs and lifts his hips, relentlessly fucking his cock up into you. His cock slams into you so hard the wet slapping sound of your bodies fills the room.
You turn your head and press your lips to his ear, nipping at his earlobe, you spur him on “c’mon Joel, come for me baby,” you softly rasp. “C’mon baby, for me, do it for me love,” you whisper and he whimpers, his thrusts becoming faster, more erratic. You bite down on his shoulder to muffle the whines that leave your mouth as he fucks into you harder, your walls tighten around him, his cock twitches inside you before he hastily pulls out with a long pained groan and with his cock between your bodies, his cum spurts out, thick and warm, coating his stomach. A moment passes and you lower your lips down his chest, feeling the rough edges of his skin underneath your lips as you pepper open mouthed kisses along his strong torso, the soft skin of his belly, over the jagged scar on his lower abdomen, all the way down his happy trail, you feel him shiver beneath you.
You sit up on his thighs, locking your eyes with his, you bring your fingers down to his cum on his stomach. You look back up at him, your gaze meeting his as you swirl your fingers twice in his spend and bring your shiny, sticky coated fingers up to your mouth, closing your lips around your fingers, sucking them clean. His mouth agape, he’s staring back at you while you use your fingers to lick up his cum, “dirty girl, one’a these days you’re gonna gimme a heart attack woman,” he groans.
The memory of it all…you riding him, your naked breasts bouncing, his cock impaling you, watching it disappear inside you over and over, your cunt clamping down around his cock and the echo of your moans as you came last night playing in his head sends him hurtling over the edge.
His cock twitches in his hand, his other hand slamming down on the counter, he groans your name raggedly and his thighs quiver as he comes hard into his fist, harder than he ever has when jerking himself off. He pumps his release into your panties, hot, thick ropes of his cum painting the gusset. His cum spurting out seemingly endless for a man his age.
If you were here in front of him he would pull the fabric up over your thighs, making you wear your cum filled panties before going about the rest of your day.
But you’re not here so instead he brings the cum soaked panties up to his face, eyeing his spend and your wetness for a moment. He stops himself and contemplates the idea in his head as he eyes the glistening sheen over the center. Just as quickly as the thought infiltrated his head, he decides against it and bunches up the thin material and tosses them in the old laundry basket sat in the corner of your shared bathroom. Joel tucks himself back into his jeans, washes his hands, limping slightly as he walks out of your bedroom and closes the door behind him leaving your laundry for another day.
#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller one shot#tlou fanfiction#tlou one shot#the last of us fanfiction#jackson!joel x f!reader#jackson!joel x reader#noelle's workshop
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hopelessly devoted to you
click here. resources for palestine, congo, sudan, and other countries.
pairing…ellie williams x gn!reader
in which…a certain someone remembers your birthday.
before you read…fluff. angst. cutie patootie ellie <3
it was a grueling day. the sky dim from the consistent storming, the rain damping your body and hair, up until you and jesse had taken cover at a moldy gas station. you sat there for an hour, listening to him talk about dina and their separation…their tenth separation? you lost track a while ago.
but you don’t judge, you hummed in agreement to his frustrations and nodded the entire time. you get him, you do. your failed love life could be a ten-minute-long monologue, you think. relationships are hard in the small community of jackson, everyone has their person or keeps to themselves. you prefer to keep to yourself. you don’t necessarily need anyone— not if you can’t have her.
infected that were migrating through had run you out of the gas station, you and jesse dodging branches and heavy rocks throughout the forest as you ran back home. you, of course, tripped over a dead stump and banged your head on nature's floor.
if you were jesse you would have laughed at yourself, but your generous friend could only watch in horror, worry painting his features while he helped you up, practically dragging your stumbling self until you were in the clearing.
every single muscle in your body was aching when you arrived at jackson’s gates, it felt like seeing the gates of heaven itself. you don’t know what time it is, the sky has been dark the entirety of the day, and your head is pounding.
“we should get you to the infirmary, just in case,” jesse tries, however, you are ready to call it a night and worry about your current issues tomorrow. probably a bad idea, sure, but you don’t care that much in the worn out state you’re in. “i’m fine, jesse,” you lie to the man, but the smile you give him is enough for him to back off, “just need a bandage and a very comfortable bed. not one of those cots.”
“you’re stubborn…ellie’s rubbing off on you.”
“shut up,” you jokingly tell him, chewing your bottom lip as your mind goes to ellie. the idea of seeing her sweet face after the day you just had would provide you more comfort than the bed you so desperately yearn for.
to hear her voice, telling you about the day she had, that you know for certain was miles better than yours. and that’s amazing— ellie williams doesn’t deserve a hard day in her life. you would take all of them for her, even if each one felt as cruel as today.
jesse walks you all the way home, an illuminating glow coming from your windows, despite turning the lights off before you had left. or at least, you had thought you did. you say goodbye to jesse, having to promise you will take care of your injury before bed so he would leave.
you open your door with a deep sigh of relief, eager to shred your backpack and soggy clothes, and slip into something comfortable.
you drag your feet down the hall, stopping in place when your shut bedroom door, swings open before you.
“fuck.”
“ellie?” your brows dip, a quiet laugh escaping your lips at the surprise, “what are you doing?”
“i, uh, well,” she scratches the back of her neck, turning around, waiting for you to follow her into your bedroom. you do, mind drifting to the thought of how unkept you left it earlier, not having time to deal with the laundry at the end of your unmade bed. ellie had seen that; you’re embarrassed.
you gulp, stepping inside the room, and the sight you’re met with confuses you. your bed is made. your clothes are gone. instead, there’s a beige teddy bear, one that’s unfamiliar to you, that’s never been in your room before. it’s undeniably cute, even with its left ear ripped and its eye poorly patched back on.
laid against its belly is a large and flat square object wrapped in old newspapers, tiny pieces of duct tape holding it together. where a classic and beautiful ribbon would be, are shoelaces, making a bow. or an attempt at one.
and laid against that, is what appears to be a doodled on piece of paper. you glance at ellie, then your bed, then ellie.
“i…” she begins, the soft expression on her face suddenly hardening when her eyes trail to the single droplet of blood falling from your temple, and down the side of your face.
“what the fuck happened?” ellie takes a few short steps towards you, grabbing your face with her coarse hands, and turning you so she can inspect the area. even when you try to turn your head, she keeps you still.
“gonna tell maria to pair us. i love jesse but—”
“i tripped, ellie, it couldn’t have been prevented,” you cut her off, but her suggestion does make your heart flutter, and you wouldn’t be opposed to it. you’d spend every last second you have in this universe with her.
“you don’t know that,” ellie says, the woman thinking she could do anything to protect you— even simple mistakes you cause yourself. she exits the room for a moment, and you can’t help but walk to the foot of your bed to get a closer look at the objects on it.
you pick up the paper, realizing it’s not just a piece of paper, it’s a card. a makeshift one. and the doodles aren’t just doodles, it’s a dinosaur holding three balloons. three of your favorite colors. happy birthday, it says. birthday…your birthday…it’s your birthday.
it had not crossed your mind once today, this week, or this month. you only thought about it a couple of months back when it was briefly brought up in a conversation. how the community you were born into utilized calendars even if there was nothing to look forward to anymore, and how you almost wish you weren’t informed on the day you were born. there was nothing to celebrate, no one to celebrate with.
ellie was determined to change that, and she did.
you open the card, a paragraph in the center of the paper.
hey y/n, guess what day it is :) if you couldn’t tell by the extremely beautiful dinosaur in a party hat, it’s your day!! happy fucking birthday, y/n. probably doesn’t feel like much of a celebration today. little do you know i celebrate you everyday. don’t tell anyone that. i honestly think i’d die without you so never leave me, yeah? i love you y/n. i could take up this whole page telling you every little thing i love about you but i’m not going to do that because i don't think i could stop. i hope you had a good birthday. if not i hope this helps. love, your ellie.
“sit down,” ellie reenters the room, not noticing the card in your hand, too focused on the medical supplies in hers. when she does, her face heats up, her pale face flashing red. you continue to hold it as you obey her, sitting next to the teddy bear. she waits for you to speak first, and you do the same to her, which causes a moment of silence as she kneels on the floor before you.
you’re taken back, utterly shocked by how fucking precious the girl could be, how good it feels receiving appreciation from her. getting love from her. not the love you have for jesse or dina, something different, something incomparable. she has your heart clutched tightly in her fist.
“thank you, ellie.”
“it’s nothing,” she shrugs, pouring a bottle of water on a bathroom towel, then bringing it to your face. she’s gentle as she wipes the dark red liquid away, dabbing the injury, scanning your face for discomfort so she can stop immediately. she’s definitely going to yell at jesse.
“it’s something,” you tell her, “and it means a lot to me…it really does.”
she halts her movements for a second, the embarrassment that maybe she did too much, vanishing from her body. “yeah?”
“duh,” you laugh slightly, “i didn’t even remember it, ellie. i was too busy having a shitty day. so thank you for making it better.”
ellie smiles slightly, holding back the grin threatening to spread across her face. she continues to clean your injury, knowing she could scold you for not seeking medical attention right away, but she won’t ruin the moment.
she finishes up by placing a clean bandage over the wound, pressing it delicately against your skin, an odd urge to place a kiss on your forehead to signal she was done. she thinks it’s weird, and doesn’t do it.
ellie reaches for the newspaper-wrapped object beside you, taking the card from your hands and replacing it with the gift. “open it.”
“you didn’t have to—” “open it.”
you groan, doing as told, fighting the annoying strong duct tape and peeling the paper off carefully, not knowing what’s beneath it. ellie keeps her green irises steady on your face as you do so, watching your mouth part faintly when you see the uncovered gift. “ellie…”
it’s a vinyl. an old one. one you’d listen to on a cassette tape until it deteriorated, and you had lost access to the heavenly vocals of the band you so greatly adored. ellie’s not familiar with them, but she had told you she would like to be after how highly you had spoken about them.
she hadn’t forgotten that conversation, or that band, and excused herself on patrol to seek out the damn vinyl in every music shop. she didn’t know it would be so hard, but even if she did, she would search again and again and again. it’s not only a gift, it is a reflection of ellie’s admiration of you.
“how— why— i don’t even have a record player,” you point out, eyebrows dipping slightly at the harsh reminder. “so?” she asks like you just said the silliest thing in the world. “i do…we can listen to it together.”
it’s then that you notice her hand on your knee, thumb grazing through the denim of your jeans in a repeated motion. you forget about the throbbing in your head, and you no longer care about the soreness of your body. that, along with the entire world, seems to fade away right now.
it’s not just your heart in her hands. it’s you, your mind, your soul, everything you have is in her palms. everything she tells you makes you feel weightless, like time pauses and you don’t have to worry about a single thing. just her. nothing else. just ellie. no one else.
“i love you.”
ellie smiles, “love you too.”
“no, ellie, i…” you hesitate, sucking in the air and then exhaling. your eyes are on the birthday card next to you, the vinyl in your hands, and then her widened pupils. you realize then, that you don’t need to repeat yourself, you don’t need to emphasize it. ellie gets it. your hands are trembling, and she holds them. but something is wrong.
the moment stretches on endlessly, watching a shadow of sadness flicker over her beautiful features. without her saying a word, that she has yet to do, you understand. she won’t say it back. not in the sense that you wish for her to.
“i…dina came to me…after her and jesse…she…” ellie’s quiet voice drifts off, sparing you the details of the night dina first showed up at her door, a repeated pattern until they finally shared an intimate moment that led to a short-lived kiss.
something you missed, because you weren’t searching for hints they had something. something you crave. her head is down, “i’m sorry.”
your confession now hangs heavy over both of you. you feel sick. you feel dumb. and yet, you force a small, understanding smile. “it’s okay.”
the words feel hollow. ellie feels like shit. she’s never cried in front of you, and she’s fighting back the tears that so desperately want to fall right now. she hadn’t meant for this to happen. she hadn’t met to fall in love with her best friend, all while her other friend was falling for her.
she could’ve waited— she would’ve waited. but it happened so fast, and ellie had made a decision already.
“i’m um…really tired,” you chuckle, trying to ease the tension, but it somehow makes it worse.
“y/n—” “do you mind if we call it a night?”
“you hit your head pretty bad,” ellie says, the sorrow tone of her voice now mixing with worry, “you should stay up.”
“you’re not my doctor, ellie,” you immediately catch the snappy tone you give her the moment the sentence leaves your mouth, biting your tongue in response. ellie doesn’t point it out nor make an argument out of it. she is the most understanding with you. even if the context is her simply looking out for you. you fold in your lips, still holding the gift, ellie finally standing up.
she doesn’t know what to say. at all. she could say sorry a million times but eventually they will mean nothing to you. she doesn’t even know if they do now. “i uh…i’ll leave you alone.”
the worst words you could ever hear from the person you love the most in the world. of course, part of you wants her out of sight after the humiliation you just walked yourself into, but the other part of you wants to go with her, play the vinyl she had gifted you, and lay together in her bed as her finger taps in rhythm to the music on your thigh. but you can’t do that. not when her bed is reserved for someone else.
you barely nod, “okay.”
she gulps, hesitantly walking to your bedroom door, the one she was so happy to walk into just an hour prior. there’s guilt in each step she takes, her cheeks hot and mouth dry. she stops in your doorway, tugging at her bottom lip with her sharp teeth, glancing back at you.
whatever she was prepared to say, dies on her tongue, swallowing it down and opting for something else.
“happy birthday, y/n.”
then she’s gone. and you’re left alone with a teddy bear; a permanent reminder of this night. happy birthday to you.
#-🐈⬛#i think i like this? hm. will think on it more.#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie williams fanfic#tlou fanfic#the last of us fanfic#ellie tlou x reader#yes im cailee spaeny washing her again i cant stop#ellie williams angst#angst ellie williams x reader#wlw fanfic#tlou ellie x reader#ellie x gn reader#ellie williams x gn reader
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