#it has been living rent free in my brain because of how stupid it is

[khruschevshoe]

The cognitive dissonance in the Timeless Children when Jodie Whittaker is acting her ass off, winning all of the hypothetical awards, embodying every cell of the Doctor's body, and the dialogue about the Time Lords (have made universe-spanning careers out of secrecy, keeping things from other species, lying about their real goals, forcing the Doctor out so he can't tell people the truth, literally planning to burn the universe to ascend to a higher plane) is literally "Why would they lie?"

Like, bro. Dude. Doctor. My pal. Friendo. Regardless of the Timeless Child twist, That is literally all the Time Lords have ever done.

[factual-fantasy]

I know you probably won't continue this since it's been almost two years but recently I saw your Submas comic again with Emmet somehow ending up in Hisui with the help of Celebi and reuniting with his brother but also getting the consequences of his actions/neglect in taking care of himself (also probably Hisui being harsh to his already weakened state)

I imagined how it could continue (not written down anywhere just living rent free in the brain of yours truly) and I feel like sharing it with you since you inspired me:

We left off as Ingo weeps in front of Emmet sleeping... After he wakes up from his weeping Ingo and Sneasler reluctantly leave as Emmet has no signs of regaining consciousness or improving. Something tells Ingo that what his brother needs might be back in their original time with much better health care.

Similar to him Ingo seeks out Dialga and Palkia begging them to help him save his brother. They have just reunited and he doesn't dare to think what happens if Emmet doesn't get the treatment he needs.

Celebi is also still around and Ingo makes the decision to return to the future to help save Emmet. Sacrificing everything just like he did.

[off screen he makes his good byes get's one of Sneaslers Eggs as a parting gift and they return back to the future]

Next time we cut to the twins it's in the hospital when Emmet regains consciousness. Half awake he is distraught first because being in hospital means it was all a dream and he is all alone again. Waterworks start until he notices a presence by his bedside. Ingo. Totally exhausted and seemingly recently fallen asleep. Waterworks start even harder because Ingo is right there. It was real after all. Ingo awakes and wakes up and they hug and weep.

the end

----

I know you're not fond of fanworks of your fanworks so I don't know if you even like this stupid little idea (also if you even remember the fanart and all that from way back when) I don't plan on sharing this anywhere outside to you. Take it if you want or leave and delete it. I just felt like sharing it with you since you inspired me.

I just want to say thank you because even after all this time your few works of art for submas fill me with joy and I smile each time I scroll past them on my dashboard. All your artworks are simply amazing and I know that you definitely make so many people happy with your content. Keep doing what you love because you do awesome! Take care and thank you for reading this far into this long message.

Awwee!! This is so sad yet adorable at the same time!! 😭😭😭 What a sweet way to wrap up Ingo and Emmets journey! :}}

And thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that you liked my submas stuff and that it's inspired you! Even though I didn't draw much for it.. 😅 Perhaps someday when I'm feeling better I'll get back around to submas again.. 👀👀

[gabessquishytum]

So that cheating ask has been living rent free in my brain for the last 24 hours and now I have a somewhat alternate scenario for you:

Hob knows the marriage is practically over, especially since his husband spends more and more time at work than at home. When he texts Hob during coffee with Dream, telling Hob he's not coming home that night because of "work", Hob basically loses it. He'd had a whole extravagant meal planned as another effort to save their marriage but now he's got too much food and no one to share it with. Dream not so subtly says he has no dinner plans and Hob invites him over without hesitation.

They have a good time, get a little tipsy over a nice vintage of wine, but when push comes to shove Hob just can't cheat on his husband no matter how much he wants Dream. He pushes him away and they agree to talk in the morning when they're more sober. It's late though, and Hob doesn't want to send Dream away so late, so he graciously offers up the guest room for Dream to sleep in. Dream accepts.

Hob wakes up in the middle of the night when the alcohol wears off and he notices immediately the hallway and bathroom lights are on. The bathroom door is wide open and Hob can hear Dream moaning and jerking off in there. Hob can't resist, he absolutely has to look, and he finds Dream standing over the toilet, a pair of Hob's boxers from the hamper in one hand, and the other on his massive cock. He makes eye contact with Hob, who can only watch helplessly and grip the doorframe.

Dream comes with Hob's name on his lips tucks himself back into Hob's borrowed pajamas, and then just casually brushes past him, and goes back to the guestroom, leaving the door wide open for Hob to join him, if he so desires.

YES so we're talking about this one in particular, featuring ex babysitter Hob and a Dream who's been obsessed with him forever.

Dream understands Hob's scruples about cheating on his (awful, useless, stupid) husband, he really does. He admires Hob for having a good moral code. But that doesn't mean that Dream isn't going to try and corrupt him. He knows that Hob wants him, and that Hob won't tell him off for being so lewd. It's entirely worth it to dig around in the hamper, to press the well worn underwear to his mouth and nose. The combination of the scent and the knowledge that Hob is watching makes Dream cum so fast, he's almost a bit embarrassed.

Hob follows Dream back to the guest bedroom like a dog fixated on some kind of reward. He doesn't even know what he wants to do when he gets there. Dream is just so... intoxicating. He pulls Hob on the bed with power of his gaze alone. Hob sits between Dream’s legs and wonders why on earth this beautiful, extraordinary young man has chosen him of all people. Its been so long since his husband wanted him, Hob has started to forget what it's like.

"What if I just hold you." Dream murmurs. "Surely that would be no harm in that."

And there is no harm - no harm as their bodies press together and Hob feels his hard cock slot perfectly into the crease of Dream’s hip. No harm in Dream’s hands groping his arse, fondling and squeezing the plump flesh as Hob humps against him and whimpers. He's such a good slut, so eager. Dream whispers soft praise in his ear and tells him that he'll never, never be neglected again.

Hob stays the rest of the night in the guest room, sated and unrepentant. He may be a little bit addicted to the feeling of being wanted. He can't even make himself feel guilty. Not when Dream leaves in the morning with Hob’s dirty underwear still tucked in his pocket, a clear promise that he's going to keep on wanting Hob as voraciously as ever.

Getting divorced suddenly doesn't seem so bad. Not when Dream has promised to make him cum all over the paperwork as soon as it gets through.

[sunflowersandink]

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

awww man. this is legit an impossible question for me to answer, there are SO many I love for so many different reasons.

I think if I had to pick one artist it would be @silk-scarlet-ribbons - the way they capture movement and character and expression is just absolutely unparalleled to me, every work of hers just slots into its own little spot in my brain that I didn’t realize was empty.

A lot of my favorite works of theirs are discord exclusives that won’t make a lot of sense without an entire AU’s worth of context, but here’s a great one that lives rent-free in my head - featuring Jason dressing up in his old Robin outfit at the request of de-aged/clone baby Dickiebin. The sharp affection in Jason’s face? The absolutely cherubic energy Dickiebin is exuding? The way Dick’s little hands wrap around Jason’s wrist? The pixie boots? Perfect. Showstopping. Incredible. NO one is doing it like Scar is.

I also think I have to include @ky-landfill in here - there’s absolutely no way I can pick one favorite piece (true for every one of these artists tbh), because everything they draw makes my heart ache in the very best of ways, but I have a ton of love for this piece

I’m just so attached to Jason and Cass getting to be siblings. I love how small she is beside him, I love the way his hair curls and the scars on his cheek, I love that he looks like a battered young man and looks so soft at the same time, with his arms held awkwardly like he’s not sure how to respond to being hugged. It’s just so. *ugh.* you know? I could stare at this for hours

And finally I’ve gotta shout out @amorkuku. this was the first work of theirs that I remember seeing, and oh my god I have not stopped cackling about it since

everything about it just catches me right in the funny bone. Kon’s stupid little delighted face and Tim’s entire everything as he gets dropped on his ass. Both of their •_• faces as the adults in their lives stare at them in disappointment. The way Clark looks so concerned and Bruce manages to look so tired with minimal facial expression. It’s a piece of comedic genius, and everything else this artist has ever done, especially a lot of their recent Dami and Jason comics has been an absolute goddamn delight. If I could buy a collection of their works in a physical book like I did with Wayne Family Adventures I would do it in a heartbeat

God there are SO many more works that spark joy but if I keep going we will literally be here all day <333

[ohanny]

so @cryingatships posted about pit babe cam boy au ideas (the north and sonic one will flourish in my brain rent free for the next forever) which reminded me i also wrote one for kenta and kim way back when and i just want to add to their genius because we need more spicy pit babe ideas

again, gets nsfw below the cut:

where introvert kenta finally moves out of his dad’s house and finds a room to rent for suspiciously cheap in a suspiciously nice apartment. he asks some questions because he's not stupid but kim’s all "don't worry, i can afford it and to be honest, i kinda get lonely” and well, it is a really good deal. how likely is it that kenta would end up living with a human trafficking evil overlord twice, anyway? like kim literally could not be worse than his father.

their cohabitation works brilliantly but after two months of living together, kenta comes home from work early to discover the reason why kim can afford their rental agreement and seems to have all the time in the world for his hobbies is not because he's some nepo baby but because he has an insanely lucrative career as a cam boy and an only fans star. because there kim is, dressed in a sheer robe and stockings, washing a sparkly pink dildo in the middle of their open kitchen.

kim, defiant: i am not ashamed of what i do and if it bothers you, you can move out.

kenta whose brain has blue screened and is currently making beep boop noises: gah 

but once kenta manages to stammer out he is fine with kim’s chosen career, kim stops hiding. partly because he's a petty bitch and wants to see if kenta is actually fine with it or if he's a closeted homophobe who really likes cheap rent and partly because sneaking around his own home is super annoying and he would much rather do his make up in the living room because the big windows provide the best light. also, it would be super helpful if kenta could lend him a hand with his lighting system because it takes ages to figure out all the angles alone.

kenta is totally having a crisis because kim is just so confident and self-assured and after he finishes filming, he will sit in the living room eating pizza in old sweats, regaling kenta with tales of cringy comments from old men and other streaming misfortunes from buying the most disgustingly tasting flavored lube to getting a cramp in the middle of riding his toys.

but then one evening kenta comes home to kim stabbing a salad, looking sulky, and he’s like “what, no pizza tonight?” and kim rolls his eyes and explains one of his top donors made a comment about how he's been gaining weight lately with a self-deprecating “i guess i got a bit too carried away with the take out and beer with you.”

kenta is offended. he might go on a little rant about how that man must be blind on top of an absolute imbecile and should go fuck himself for a change and kim is beautiful no matter what he eats and in kenta’s personal opinion actually looks much better now compared to the rail thin twink thing he had going on when kenta first moved in. kim stares up at him, wide eyed and in awe.

kenta, blushing and starting to stutter again: anyway… no one should be allowed to tell anyone what to do with their bodies and you should just block them because you don't need someone like that in your space and i will just go to my room now bye

kim, jumping to his feet to grab kenta: the fuck you are, come here -

and yes, they kiss and it's amazing but kim is still hesitant because “you're really okay with all this? because i don't plan on stopping anytime soon, i like what i do” and kenta sheepishly admits that he sometimes watches kim’s streams on a burner account.

kim: you know you'd get a much better view on the other side of the wall?

kenta: oh.

kim: that was an invitation, dummy.

kenta: OH

kim is right. the view is so much better on the other side of the wall. kim is stunning and looks and sounds so fucking good and having kenta there is totally helping him get in the mood and put on an even better show. if the live chat gets a rising frequency of comments along the lines of “is it just me or is kim looking at someone behind the camera?” well, it adds to the mystique?

and really, it's inevitable that - once he gets comfortable - kenta snaps in a moment of horny insanity and ends up revealing himself. it's friday and kim is on all fours, fucking himself with the infamous pink, sparkly dildo but he’s not able to reach quite right and he keeps begging and cursing at the camera and kenta’s brain just goes “well, i could help.” he doesn't think. he just gets out of his chair, ducks past the camera and swats kim’s hand away to grab the base of the dildo and then smoothly slides it all the way in.

it’s only when kim’s arms give out and he slumps down with a guttural moan that kenta realizes they’re still very much live. he snatches his hand back but before he can stumble completely out of the frame, kim whines “fuck, come back, sorry guys but i don't give a shit” into the pillow and the chat goes WILD when kenta is helpless to do anything other what he's told. he uses the dildo to fuck kim into, through and past a devastating prostate orgasm and once he has regained his senses, kim ends the stream with a breathless giggle and a “sorry to cut the outro tonight but clearly me and my roommate need to have a talk.”

kenta: roommate?

kim: i mean, i'd prefer boyfriend because i'm pretty sure i'm in love with you but -

kenta: boyfriend sounds good.

and they live happily ever after. kenta helps kim with his accounts, clothes and photoshoots and on special occasions, joins his streams and videos. kim charges double for everything they do as a couple and all that extra money is certainly helping him in convincing kenta to quit the office job he's way too qualified for and find what he really wants to do in life. they adopt three cats and kenta moves all his things into kim’s room and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

[zundamind]

wow, would you look at that! it's been a full ass year since you fucked me over! september 29th.... yeahh..... XD our fuck-you-versary! hi clifford!

in case you dont remember, the name piko might jog your mind. yeah thats me!! hellwo!! honestly you shouldve known better than to stick with your old username but hey props on you for changing it last minute! almost didnt find you for a second lolll!!

i wanted to drop in and say HEY! HELLO! HI! and give you some status updates :3

update one: i'm getting better!! no thanks to you, of course. and actually i should say we're getting better. yep! thats what happens when you suffer so bad your brain cant take suffering solo! XD

update two: while my mental health has been at an all time low ever since you fucking dropped me like a fucking ROCK, ive been getting over things lately! my clean streaks are now longer than a week! i no longer want to kms! im even making friends again!

update three: while both of the above statements are true, you still live in my mind rent free. i remember when i first stumbled across your blog a few months ago, i had a full on spiral! not anymore, though. i am STEEL, BABY! also you spinning in the mental microwave rent free is why i'm sending you this heartfelt ask!

man.... even when i try, i still find you somehow and its never intentional. like imagine scrolling the tptm tag only to be straight up jumpscared by your ex best friend's username! how embarrassing!

also i'm sorry but i have to say the reason(s) you left are sooo fucking stupid..... what, cus i was weird? come on. everyones a little weird. even a little deviantart weird. oh and because of some stupid opinions that shouldntve even mattered if you were actually a friend? get real, trey. what if i left your ass because you had a fuckin biting kink? that wouldve been funny actually. like making a sad callout post on twitter thats just "my friend left me because i wasnt vanilla enough!" XDDD

oh, and if you ever see your "stalker" again, assuming you're not thinking its me and that its actually your previous qpr or whatever the fuck, say hi! i find it funny as FUCK, since, you know, you were considering cyberstalking me at one point. and tell chaos i said hi too. i'd also mention mayu, but do you two even keep in touch anymore? probably not, considering the weird things she's done.

anyways thats the end of my relay. if you dont want these kinds of asks again, i suggest either turning asks off or just straight up deleting your tumblr and/or making another one that is NOT connected to any username youve used in the past, because in that case i'll just find your ass again lmaooo. remember! every year on this day will be the day i remind you that you are NOT allowed to stay sane X3

sincerely, your most hated, piko. (i hardly use my old blog anymore, so have fun finding my current blog! and do what you want with this ask, make a callout post, scream into the ethers, reply to it, idc.)

this should stay private but idc

i know what i did was wrong piko! i was 12-13.

dont take this as me excusing myself. i had horrible emotional regulation back then, ive healed from everything back there. you dont deserve to be called out because ur like. 14-15.

do not bring mayu or chaos into this,weve all healed and forgot abt you.

i overreacted bc of very worthless things because i was basically obsessed witj you, you were my fp, if you didnt know.

completely forgot you even existed, i havent been checking your profiles at all in months. you shouldnt either, please forget about me. you'll drive yourself crazy.,

if you think im going to "cancel" you, no im not. for your sake, please dont interact with me anymore. i apologize for how i acted over stupid things, but we were both young and idiotic. im also a system, i dont even remember half of the things you did bc of that.

move on. ive moved on, weve all moved on.

dont bother yourself with me, you dont need to.

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 147]

Of the many reasons I think Soi Fon is great, her commenting on the attendance at Rukia's execution is one of the ones that lives rent-free in my brain at all times. (I'll also note that I think the Viz ran out of room to write stuff in that last bubble, because in the JP Soi Fon is not singling out the 5th, 11th, and 12th as divisions that *should be there*--she's giving them a pass, because those are the captains that have been publicly KO'd by this whole rigmarole. Though LOL also that this is how Soi Fon acknowledges the fact that Aizen is, at this moment, entirely dead, secretly murdered, body gruesomely displayed. Even if she doesn't care about Aizen on a personal level, she's the queen of the Secret Murder Squad! And this happened in HER town?! This woman fascinates me. This entire city fascinates me.)

I will save my comments on this for when I actually get here in my reread, but I was thinking about this scene as part of an aggressive Bleach brain LARP because I received a "VIP ticket" to today's graduation ceremony and I was like lmao, VIP, I literally have to be there, it is my job, but okay. I actually like graduations, because I like celebrating graduates, but usually it's an unticketed event and anyone can just roll up and walk right in. It's ticketed this year because the institution is exercising a "prevention through deterrence" strategy against student protests or other actions, and the ticket came with an additional laundry list of things that are Explicitly Disallowed this year. 🙄 (As I was writing this very paragraph, I got a text message reminding us to bring the ticket, and to prepare for additional security screening. Woo!) To this point, this institution has been Not Disappointing relative to the low bar of other institutions, in terms of how they treat students; but I guess we'll see.

Anyway, the aggressive Bleach brain LARP of this as I try to will my way through the next five hours of this is me wondering if all the Captains also got ostentatious, grim "VIP" tickets to Rukia's execution. Like, sure, it could just be an informal hang at the Soukyoku, but the Gotei:

loves paperwork

already employs a Soul Ticket system, so they are familiar with ticketed entry

is already being stupid extra about this execution in every other possible way

It's not a public event--which, I'm not sure if that makes it a less classy or more classy execution? Like, I guess they're not making a public demonstration of Rukia's Behaviors and treating her death as morbid entertainment for the masses, but at the same time they're trying to execute someone under the cover of secrecy (albeit with a giant weapon at the top of a giant hill, involving a giant bird). And that's setting aside the constantly changing timeline of said execution.

All the captains and VCs have been getting these updates via psychic transmission, which, as we've discussed, is only one of the means of communication the Gotei uses. Probably the most secure? Certainly the fastest and most targeted. So how many people actually know Rukia is being executed? The Gotei at large seem to know about/have been.... vaguely mobilized in terms of the invading ryoka, but is that connected to any execution? What about civilians?

I feel like the nobles (outside of Byakuya) can't know, because a bunch of them would certainly be upset about Central 46 having final authority about the execution of a noble, even if they don't care about Rukia. The less anyone knows, the faster this can get pushed through and people can forget about it as a weird blip.

But I still think they made stupid tickets, because it feels like the perfect amalgamation of bureaucratic excess and macabre grandstanding for the Gotei.

Though I'd love to know how much anyone knows about the entire Soul Society arc, in its aftermath. About any of the elements, really, especially given I feel like it'd be pretty hard to ignore all of it (but lol I also have full confidence that many absolutely did, and very successfully). Like, do you need to file a local permit with the city to use the Soukyoku. Is any advance notice required before large cosmic fireballs appear in the sky. Or does the Seireitei just live in zest.

I mean, yes, they live in zest, but what if it's zest but with paperwork.

[luimagines]

Honestly, wind being four's decendant lives rent free in my brain. Like how they would figure it out and what their reactions would be.

Like four would only realize it when they're in wind's hourse and sees his c

Shield hanging there. At first he's a bit skeptical and asks for a closer a look, but then he sees his initials carved in it and he knows for sure! He's awkward, but also excited. He didn't think he would have any of the links as his decendant, but here we are. He tries to talk to wind more and be a good role model. Also teach him smithing! Of course when they're a little further in the bond he will tell him about his adventures and the ministry in general.

Meanwhile wind might actually be a little disappointed? He's been idolizing Time for a while now and when he heard that twilight is his decendant he might've secretly hoped to be one too. Instead though, four is his ancestor! He wants to be happy, if only to make four happy, but when everyone's asleep he might cry out of jealousy.

After that though he does push himself to at least get to know four more, because this is such a rare chance to have it would be a waste if he only cried and whined about how he's not related to time.

Eventually he does rather appreciate four and actually bonds with the guy! He shows the things he makes to four and watched while four is smithing and actively learn the craft.

YES!!!!

First of all, I loved this headcanon when I first joined LU. It made me so stupid happy. Toon Links have to stick together and all that jazz. And I love found family just... being family. There's so much potential for so many things!!!

And the thing is- I fully agree with Wind either being in denial or just not accepting it right away. Because he does idolize Time in a way because he's the hero Wind has to both look up to- in his world and in the group.

Where as Four is just.... the dude is shorter than he is. That's some mental gymnastics for any 13- year- old. It's like looks at a kid your age but being told that's your uncle. Those families exist but you cannot tell me that that relationship is going to be the same since they're so close in age. That's going to apply here as well if we're going that route.

And the thing is Four would also want to know so many things about Wind and his family and learn his legacy and how they even came to be- but I don't think Wind is going to b able to answer any of those questions. Which would be a little disappointing, but there's not much Four would be able to do about it.

[mad-c1oud]

MAD. I have so many things i love abt your fics. in no order:

The panick from elotes when he sees charlie die from dehydration and he decides ‘fuck emotional maturity’ !!!!! OH GOD ITS SO GOOD

I think CONSTANTLY about when charlie was like ‘you dont have to call me slime, it isnt, like, reserved’ and they talk and etoiles goes ‘oh and you can say my name right’ and slime goes WHAT. Oh god i think abt it like daily and have a giggle

In fake it till you make it when charlie is calling etoiles all the nicknames and antoine just pretends like nothing is happening ❤️❤️

on the topic of fitymi, THE KISS GLASS FACTORY SCENE. RENT FUCKING FREE. The way you wrote it and then THE COPS KNOWING LMAOOO IT DIDNT WORK. Roier chanting “mi dinero!” Bc he won the bet is CHEF KISS

when etoiles casually kisses charlie and leaves, phil’s reaction when he realizes is GOLD KKKKK. “Is that why charlie has been blowing up my phone?” And etoiles going “i kissed and now i am telling” AGH

The intro (?) scene to immi where etoiles is just like ‘its okay its okay its okay he doesnt need items, hes really doing just fine–’ so he doesn’t rip charlies armor off where hes standing is HILARIOUS

“He is here. He is ravenous” then charlie dying to eater of suns was my favorite bc ITS SO IN CHARWCTER LMAO. HE WOULD.

How etoiles breaks a million avocados as baghera pulls out all the arrows from charlie. You can //feel// the need to protect coursing through his veins and poor bro has to make dinner

How youve written TWO scenes where etoiles brain fails upon imagining charlie in eyeliner. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (i am too)

Not a apecific scene, but the (in immi) motif of charlie not feeling like enough so he always has to bring //something//.

GOD THE ENTIRE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF IMMI. STAN FERAL HYBRID. STAN THEIR ONE SAFE PERSON. HAHAIXHSNAJAJJSUXIXIWWNKEODOEPQPEI

The immi scene where etoiles tells charlie about the bug :(

God how //unserious// charlie is about being hurt (and probably etoiles but they have different ways of unserious). Its so true to his character but i still wanna just SHAKE HIM so he doesn’t crack jokes //while he’s bleeding out//

The scene where etoiles rushes charlie back. It feels so rushed but not like you wanted to get it over with, just… like everything is a blur to etoiles while hes doing this. Like he remembers the steps he took but not what he felt when he took them. (Also how he gives himself five seconds to scream into a pillow. Felt that. STAN.)

Him asking for two cookies from phil bc he is ‘fading fast’ and when phil shows up he pretty much (albiet accidently) tunes oht phil bc he //cant look away from charlie–//

That stupid fucking cod elotes put in the barh idk if it has a name but I have a love/hate relation with it. I wonder if they kept it.

“Its not a waste with you” KILL ME THEYRE IN LOVE

When etoiles tells him to say if he feels hurt, then charlie starts crying and e is like “eh! Im so sorry what did i do you didnt say anything–” and charlies like eueuue youre so nice

Charlie purring… yes… YESSS…. (Love it when anything and everything hybrid purrs 💖)

“My cucumber” ….

When charlie pretends to be etoiles boyfriend to get into the hospital (fitymi) and the nurses are like uh this guy named charlie- and elotes goes “hehehehhhh yeahh charlie. He’s my bro” and the nurses take that as dating (BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS IT????)

sorry tjis was so long i just had a chance to rant abt your writing and BY GODS NAME DID I TAKE IT

💖i hope you fee better

DUDE 😭😭😭

This is the best thing I’ve ever read. People always comment on chapters and fics in that moment they read them usually, so I’m always curious what sticks with people weeks later, what occupies their brain again and again long after reading…

Reading all this had me smiling so fucking big it Hurts oh my good you are so sweet dude

To answer your question: Charlie kept the cod Paul! It lives in the little pond he has in the greenhouse. It was supposed to be mentioned during the birthday chapters, but I reworked a lot of content and it not longer fit nicely so I just took it out for now. The feesh will be seen again…

The nicknames in fake it were my favorite part. I got like three sentences in and was like— hold on Idea—

And yeah Charlie giving things to Étoiles in immi, that comes a personal habit. Qcharlie has been broken down time and time again that this amount of unwavering kindness feels illegal to accept. He’s had to pay the price for so much, so sure this too right? Étoiles wants to shake him <3

YEHAHHH THE NAME THING IN IMMI!!! Man I needed a way to ween Étoiles into calling him Charlie that was just causal cause that’s Boring, and I wanted to acknowledge the face that irl, ccChatlie didn’t know how to pronounce his name at first either lmao

i like Charlie in eyeliner, sue me….

One of my favorite chapters might just be A Bandage. From the other islanders to the cooking to karaokeduo to the Chittering!!!!! Idk that one holds a special place in my heart <3

Also fun fact: I had like, 4 other fake dating scenarios I jotted down for fake it but I was worried the fic would turn into immi which also started as a 5+1 so I scrapped some ideas and kept a it short and sweet. kinda regret it and wish I could rewrite it but I still like what it turned in to

Man reading my own work through your comments is really nice. Gives me a better appreciation for what I’m creating haha

Thank you sm for all this, it means a lot and it’s never too long trust me <333

[willowser-but-nsfw]

Willow, I need you to know that your Dragon King Bakugo has been living rent free in my head since you posted about him. I hope you don’t mind me sending this, but I just. I can't stop thinking of how he’d act the first time you finally let him have free reign of your body. To just explore with his hands and his face as he pleases while you stand there trying to bear it. And of course it's driving you insane!! The way he kneads at your flesh, and how he buries his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent.

And he’s so lost in you – the sounds you're making, the way you smell, how you feel – that he isn't even paying attention to how it's affecting him. He can feel it, obviously. It's impossible not to, but his focus is all on you.

But you!! you are very aware. It's right in front of you. Flushed red, impossibly hard, and dripping, and so so so tempting.

So you decide to take matters in your own hands (he he), and idk, maybe it’s a misstep, or a bit of hesitance on your part, but you don’t quite grab him? Instead you end up barely brushing him. And he makes such a pretty noise!!

A needy whine that sets your whole body on fire, and encourages you to properly wrap your hand around him, fascinated by his reaction and eager to hear more.

But it’s your time to bite back a whine, when he thrusts into your hand with a grunt and starts up at a steady pace.

You can feel his stupid smirk against the skin of your neck.

(ok, I'm done. I think it's out of my system for now. WHEW. thank you, will for feeding us so good I can't stop thinking about this asshole 💕)

TIPH EXCUSE ME ?? I AMFHSJFJANFHS this is so 🥴🥴 makes me crazy !! it's so clearly affecting him and his body and he's !! so wrapped up in you that he's not even really paying it any mind !! meanwhile, you're like 👀 !! WOAH !! tiph...you are so big brained...i'm unhinged thanks !!!!!

and when you touch him, it takes him by complete surprise !! because he's not expecting to feel any better than he already does, all tangled with you: smelling the clean-soap scent of your hair, feeling how soft you are against him, how much smaller you are !! a cute little thing that is squirmy and warm, that sounds so sweet when you say his name !! he really thinks this is peak. could die right there, suffocating you into the sheets.

but omg, when you really touch him !!! ajgbdusjaksj i'm losing it tiph akfjak omg. and he's so shameless i can't 💀 lil beast brain chasing after the smooth, tight pressure of your hand !! DEAD AND DYING AKGBAOFVAKKA you have put this into my head how am i supposed to think of anything else !!

[thefairyhills]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ* A COLLECTION OF QUOTES THAT LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT-FREE.

as the title says, this is a list of quotes from books, movies, song lyrics, videogames, pinterest posts and anything else that has been stuck in my brain forever, for one reason or another. a part 2 may or may not follow. adapt any gendered terms as needed!

❝ to love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed. ❞

❝ there are no men like me. only me. ❞

❝ the heart is an arrow. it demands aim to land true. ❞

❝ give me back my girlhood, it was mine first. ❞

❝ stories connect us to our past. they shape a people in profound ways. without them, we are lost. ❞

❝ everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? ❞

❝ i wish that i could say i am a light that never goes out, but i flicker from time to time. ❞

❝ just between us, did the love affair maim you too? ❞

❝ when the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway. ❞

❝ death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ❞

❝ when they shattered our spirit, we became sharpest at the break. ❞

❝ she didn't want to be loved for her petals, she wanted to be loved for her thorns. she knew if someone loved her flaws, they would love her whole. ❞

❝ to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you. ❞

❝ love speaks in flowers. truth requires thorns. ❞

❝ because saving the people you love isn't stupid. it isn't even a choice. ❞

❝ don't go where i can't follow. ❞

❝ whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. ❞

❝ it takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations. ❞

❝ there's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. ❞

❝ the water hears and understands. the ice does not forgive. ❞

❝ i am my scars. ❞

❝ that's the thing about pain. it demands to be felt. ❞

❝

it's not your fault i ruin everything. and it's not your fault i can't be what you need. ❞

❝ i'm not interested in being polite or heterosexual. ❞

❝ the flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. ❞

❝ you were the one who wanted to win. and i just wanted a sister. ❞

❝ you know how scared i am of elevators. never trust it if it rises fast, it can't last. ❞

❝ i am not ruined. i am ruination. ❞

❝ all my flowers grew back as thorns. ❞

❝ if i can't have love i want power. ❞

❝ i came out to attack people, and i'm honestly having such a good time right now. ❞

❝ anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt. ❞

❝ i'm meaner than my demons. ❞

❝ i love her, and that's the beginning and end of everything. ❞

❝ you are haunted, like every other holy thing. ❞

❝ my skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. ❞

❝ innocence died screaming, honey, ask me i should know. ❞

❝ what is infinite? the universe and the greed of men. ❞

❝ i could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it. ❞

❝ how could somebody ever love me? ❞

❝ you don't get to destroy someone and decide how ruined they're allowed to feel. ❞

❝ i am afraid of you. in loving me, you hold a knife at my throat. in loving you, i tell you exactly where to cut. ❞

❝ because i take things away from stupid, evil old men. it's what i do. ❞

❝ they deserve to lose everything. and i deserve to have all their stuff. ❞

❝ tell me, if he handed you a bloodied hand, would you take it, just because it was his? ❞

❝ hell is empty and all the devils are here. ❞

❝ i desire the things that will destroy me in the end. ❞

❝ i have tried loving less but that hurts just the same. ❞

❝ wanting was enough. for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all. ❞

❝ the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you. ❞

❝ i could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; i would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. i would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❞

❝ these violent delights have violent ends. ❞

❝ we love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. it's feral. and it's relentless. ❞

❝ feelings that come back are feelings that never left. ❞

❝ good for you, you're doing great out there without me. god, i wish that I could do that. ❞

❝ if i could hold you for a minute, darling, i'd go through it again. ❞

❝ i don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch. ❞

❝ i don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush. ❞

❝ and logically, you're the last thing i should have on my mind, but i want you there sometimes. ❞

[sevensdeadly-if]

My problem with this IF is that it lives rent free in my brain. And saying that it's literally one of my favorite Ifs off all time. I think you greatly underestimate how much of a wonderful writer you are. But I digress. Lol I had to make two variations of my MC.

My 3 main routes and probably favorite ROs are

Aster/Fenrir, Nero which is like number 1 over everyone else and then Uriel's grumpy ass.

For Aster/Fenrir I had to make a sarcastic flirty MC because no these two would eat a shy MC alive and I didn't want to be breakfast. They both are the worst and that would just be feeding two sharks who smell blood in the water. Lol tho I suppose the overprotective aspect of having a shy reserved MC with them would also be appealing but I like the fact we can give as good as we get. Ps. Loved the whole reaction to his sister. That was theeeee best thing ever. 🥰

For my best boy Nero I had to make a shy MC. I'm sorry did you see how fumbly cute his reaction to a shy MC is. Them just both being awkwardly sneaking glances at each other is goals. I honestly love Nero so much. Like a normal amount...sure...normal amount.. 😬 👀😏

As for Uriel I like a grumpy wet cat RO so much. I will make him love me 🙄 stupid hot grumpy guy. Love him! I plan on being the most positive friendly open MC with Uriel because we gta dispel, disarm and confuse tf out of him with love and kindness! 💜

All in all I love more ROs the girls are wonderful too an J but these are like my favorites. Maybe I just like the jealous ones best.. 🤷🏻‍♀️😅... I'm gonna go read this again.

I have a problem. No but for real I don't think you know what I mean when I say I truly love your work so much. I cld rant about it to everyone.. probably have.. and if I needed to write a review for what I loved about it.. I like reviewing shit. It would probably be incredibly too long.. like this ask.. sorry. 😭🙈

😭no cause this is so sweet. Like it’s been a really shitty week and this has just brightened my mood up so much. Thank you so much for enjoying the game I really am so glad you are enjoying it and sticking around I appreciate it a lot 🥲

[dontmindme2600]

Hi again......If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

OH MY GOD I’D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE MY BAD BECAUSE I LEFT THIS SITTING IN MY DRAFTS AND TOTALLY FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS!! Anyways, top 7, in no particular order:

Hunter x Hunter: I’m not as into this as I was in middle school but it’s never left my mind. Definitely my favorite shonen, Togashi’s originality with the series is really refreshing. (I also love Yu Yu Hakusho by him!!) As weird as it gets the characters and story are always a blast to follow. The villains also go hard. I finished the 2011 anime and I have up to volume 13 of the manga! I’d love to catch up fully since it’s being updated again, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. It’s something that I’ve always been inspired by even if I don’t want to make something that’s gonna be EXACTLY like it anymore lol.

Cowboy Bebop: I tried to limit myself to one (1) Shinichiro Watanabe anime for this list, but his other stuff fucks as well. I love Spike. (bet you never would’ve guessed!!) It’s hard to put into words in a way that doesn’t sound incredibly dumb. But. Every character introduced has their own unique worldview, backstory, flaws, etc. It sounds so fucking stupid because yeah, that’s what a character is supposed to have?? But this anime does that REALLY well?? I think what I’m trying to say is that the show does a great job of presenting different lifestyles and perspectives without worrying about making the audience uncomfortable. The anime is all about human connections and how they impact the characters and I LOVE that. It was also pretty moving to me, lots of great emotional moments. The episode where they find Faye’s old cassette recording and the one with Gren’s death will always stay with me. (Also the Andy one, but only because I think it’s funny as hell.) Watanabe is my favorite anime director ever and if you love Bebop I recommend checking out some of his other stuff as well! (Also props to an anime director that isn’t afraid of diversity in his character designs)

Witch Hat Atelier: I’m not nearly as caught up with this as I would like to be but!!! I love the writing, worldbuilding, and characters. I wish more manga were like this. Not like, aesthetically, but like quality wise. Everything is done really well and the art and paneling is GORGEOUS omfg. Also Kamome Shirahama is a very cool and progressive person and it’s just nice to read a manga by someone like her. I’m hyped as hell for the anime and can’t wait to see WHA reach a larger audience!! (Even with all the bad stuff it may bring, lmao)

Invader Zim: This one is probably the most different from the rest of the list lol. I’ll rewatch a few episodes of this every once in a while. It’s one of the only shows I watch that actually makes me laugh out loud. I also don’t think I’ve really seen anything else like it??? Sure there’s stuff that’s it’s pretty similar to but you cant really say, “wow, this is exactly like ____!” which is super cool. There’s not a major character in the show that I can say I hate or even just am neutral on, I love them all. I’m not usually a fan of stuff the gross-out humor it does, especially in the first season, but just about everything else about it just lives in my brain rent free. I think it’s a really unique and funny show and I just vibe with it stylistically as well. Seriously, I love the art style and just overall,,, edgy vibe. I absolutely do not care that it’s a kid’s show and I unironically think it’s super cool lmao. I know should probably check out some of Jhonen’s other stuff but I haven’t done that yet…

The Ace Attorney Trilogy: This one is more so just Shu Takumi in general. It’s a hard choice because I love Apollo Justice as well, and I also considered Ghost Trick (also by Takumi) but Agh!! The trilogy is the most iconic to me so I’m going with that. I just love seeing and interacting with all the unique characters the series has to offer. I’ve always liked how Takumi isn’t afraid to stray away from the generic skinny anime designs for his characters, it makes his characters feel very unique and memorable. He seems to be against having most of his characters be one dimensional, giving them their own struggles and aspirations, regardless of if they’re a “silly” character or not. I love it! It makes them more memorable and enjoyable than many other visual novel characters to me. (Please remember that I also love Ghost Trick holy fuck it’s so good)

Yakuza 0: I’m going to be 100% for real and admit that I discovered this series because of a bunch of stupid clips I saw of it on YouTube. It wasn’t the dame da ne memes, this was before that. But like, clips of all the silly stuff you can do in game like dance, receive a chicken as a gift for winning at bowling, assign said chicken a position at your real estate business, etc. So I bought it on a whim looking for a laugh. And. Holy FUCK. I did not expect the actual real serious story of this game to hit me as hard as it did. Just a good, moving story. I was THOROUGHLY emotionally invested in both Majima and Kiryu’s storylines by like, chapter 2 for both of them. I think it made me cry?? The fact that you can experience both that and the stupid shit, on top of the fun combat, makes it an S tier game for me. I plan to continue with the rest of the series (so far I’ve gotten through Kiwami 1 and 2 and loved them) but 0 has so far been my absolute favorite.

Pokemon: It’s not a perfect series but I always find myself getting back into it for a while every year. I’ve been a fan since I was just old enough to read, what can else can I say? I don’t have a super deep reason for this it’s just something that’s always been comfortable and fun!! The worldbuilding, story, music, and characters, really shine through in some of my favorite games in the series. And regardless of story, the gameplay is always fun.

It’s hard for me to determine my favorite anything but for this I tried to go by:

-How often I ended up going back to these

-How much each work made an emotional impact on me (not just the deep stuff, can also include things like making me laugh)

-How much each of these inspired me (like as in inspired my art or made me think “I want to make something like that!!!”) I think I’ve thought to that at least once for everything in here! It’s actually kind of scary because they’re all so different-

I’m probably missing something here but this should give you an idea!! If I spend any longer on this I’m just gonna keep changing it lolllll

[nuwanders]

OC TAG GAME.

tagged by @aartyom​​, thank you sm! <3 shamelessly stole your banner layout 😅

rules: sort your OCs into the below categories and (optionally) make them in this picrew. 

tagging @connortheconceded @lucien-lachance @mondhound @wispstalk @ervona @dirty-bosmer @netch-rancher @mareenavee @cultistbase @creaking-skull @stormbeyondreality @swordcoasts​ @vulpixelates​ @auddun​ @indorilnerevarine​ @thetinyshiloh​ @mantleofsanguine​ though no pressure as always xx

if i normally tag you in these sorts of things and have forgotten on this occasion feel free to just do it anyway :’)

1. FAVOURITE OC.

cheating a little here but these two are very much a package deal to me, they have always been jórunn and raydrin, raydrin and jórunn. do not separate them 🤧 they’ve been living rent free in my brain for over a decade, have grown and matured as i have, and if i could go back in time and tell my ten-year-old self that she’ll still be writing silly little stories about the characters she invented on the floor of a y6 maths class, i think that would make her very happy <3

2. NEWEST OC.

i invented vivienne because when i finally sat down to plan this story that had been kicking around in my head for years, i realised how little sense it made for mathyas to be the listener and so needed a new character to fill that role. though she was designed with a specific narrative function in mind, she has since come into her own as a character in her own right and i’d love to explore her properly someday

3. OLDEST OC.

as above— i’ve had these two since i was around ten, though their names, personalities and appearances have undergone a lot of work since then. i originally created them for a short story about a young couple going spelunking together, but they soon took on lives of their own, especially once i committed to the TESified versions of them <3

4. MEANEST OC.

vivienne speaks as little as she can get away with, but will make no effort to mask her contempt for others where she feels it (which is often). if she goes so far as to verbally express her disdain for someone, it’s because she’s deemed it objectively necessary for them to know how repugnant she finds them. she is so full of hate <3

5. SOFTEST OC.

cassathra is a hug personified, my goal with her was always to create a character who was very earnestly kind n warm. it was only when i sat down to write up her storyline that i realised how genuinely harrowing some of the events of the College of Winterhold questline are, but it’s important to me that she emerges at the end with her big, squishy heart intact :’)

6. MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC.

this one almost goes without saying— jórunn’s aloofness is one of the first things strangers will notice about her. she’s quiet, reserved, and blunt when prompted to speak, not just around acquaintances but around friends, too

7. DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC.

raydrin is by no means stupid, but he often is guilty of thinking with his heart more than his brain… he’s impulsive and reckless which i think can sometimes manifest as stupidity. but he’s smart in less obvious ways :^)

8. SMARTEST OC.

despite the arguably unwise decisions mathyas makes in the fic (he’s having a bad year), he’s a genuinely very intelligent guy. i kind of designed him and raydrin to mirror each other, in this way— mathyas could afford to perhaps think with his heart now and then

9. OC I WOULD BE BEST FRIENDS WITH.

oh i would get on SO well with sanjir. that man could be anyone’s best friend if he wanted to be; he’s arguably the most gregarious and personable of all my characters, as well as genuinely kind-hearted, down-to-earth, quick witted, and charming. i’m excited to beat him up a lil now that the civil war questline is finally underway, but it comes from a place of love <3

[all-thestories-aretrue]

I am about 1 million years late to this but thank you for the tag @graphitekayla!!!

Rules: without naming them, post 10 gifs of your favorite shows, then tag 10 people. I'm definitely going to break this rule; you can't give me the opportunity to gush about my faves and not expect me to name them all!!

If anyone has followed me for any length of time none of this will be a shock lmao.

Shadowhunters, and more broadly speaking The Mortal Instruments. My first real fandom!!! I cannot overstate the impact the books and show had on my life. I wouldn't be who I am without it. I have an angelic rune tattoo. Magnus and Alec are some of the first queer characters I remember reading about. I remember where I was when they kissed for the first time in the show. You stupid nephilim lives rent free in my brain. This show (and the books) truly set up the trajectory my life is on now, and I will always always remember it fondly. Even with all the drama and discourse.

2. Critical Role, specifically C2. My first true obsession after the decade long Shadowhunters debacle. I stumbled into it to learn how to play D&D (which I now know is a controversy in and of itself lmao). But my friend @midnightellis wanted us to start a game, and I needed a way to learn that wasn't reading the books, so I started C2. It took 11 or 12 episodes, but then I fell in love. I spent the next almost year watching the entirety of C2 which culminated in visiting them to watch the finale together. I was extremely jetlagged. It was basically 8 amazing hours of nonstop crying. I have zero regrets. Except for the fact I still need to get the tattoo I had planned rip. One day!! I promise!!

3. Arcane!!!! A brief interlude between Shadowhunters and CR. There was about 4 months were I was OBSESSED and watched the entire show like 3 times back to back. I have many thoughts and feelings about Jayce. The show is also just so visually stunning. I cannot wait for S2 to drop in November!!!!!! I know nothing about League but I do really love this show.

4. House. Iconic. What else needs to be said? House is very much a comfort show for me; great to rewatch during the winter. I've watched the entire thing almost three times now, and even got my mom hooked lol. It was fun seeing all her reactions to everything before I moved.

5. If I had known what fandom was when this was airing, I truly would have been all over that shit. But I was 8 and didn't have access to the internet. Aang/Katara def my first otp lol. I did, however, ignore a friend that was over at my house to watch the finale, I believe. I definitely told them to go play so I could watch the show uninterrupted. Needless to say, they were not thrilled with that. I'm 90% sure it was the finale now, but I could be wrong about the episode. ATLA is also another comfort show that I could watch over and over again.

6. Shadow and Bone. I am still SICKENED this got canceled. Genya and David are the ultimate romance, and no one will convince me otherwise. I almost stopped reading when I found out his fate. I was devastated. Everyone in this show is also very pretty. I can't believe we won't get a s3.

I'm going to stop here because this is already long enough, and tbh I'm not sure I actually have four more shows. I can only be obsessed with one thing at a time, and the current obsession is Path of Night. And that does not seem to be waning any time soon.

Edit: Lost should 100% be on this list. I think I've watched it at least four times. My family and I watched it live as it was airing when I was a kid. And it still is one of my favorite shows. I know people got beef with the ending but I truly didn't mind it. Even if it's bad or whatever, I think Lost is still 100% worth watching. There are so many little hints and clues that I pick up something different every time, and each character death hits just as hard.

I'm going to tag: @gelatinouscute, @peppedstep, @midnightellis, @discordkittenterumi, @im-a-vampire-now, @zeena-athena , @syntia13treeman , @sapphicfugue , @dr-thumbs-brand-new-spot

If you want to do this :)

[eddie-rifff]

ive pretty much had all of my wildest dreams come true as an autistic music fan and im still miserable. how ungrateful and stupid can one person be. (very)

really really feeling like im just never gonna be happy for more than a few months at a time. my brain fucking hates me. my parents should have never ever had kids with the history of mental illness on both sides and yet they had four, 3 of which suffer pretty significantly with mental illness. severe ocd in one, moderate ocd in the other two, crippling anxiety in all three, mild in the one that somehow made it out ok.

im not suicidal, im just very upset that this is how it is. i want things to be better. i want things to be different. but im afraid they just never will be.

and i want chris squire back. he was so endlessly kind to me. he made me feel like i was appreciated in the way i felt mattered, as a fan. i loved him so deeply and i still do and he saw that and basically said "i see you, thank you" in every interaction we had. the hugs. the kisses on the cheek and the back of the hand. looking out for me and making sure i was safe when he thought i was by myself. he was the only person that really, truly, mattered to me when all was said and done (he still is) and i couldnt have had a better relationship with him (when i say relationship i want to make it clear that i mean it in the way you have a relationship with every single person you meet, not that we were like. best buddies.)

and yet, somehow, i am still unhappy. its kind of impressive.

ive met rick wakeman, jon anderson, tony kaye, alan white, steve howe, bill bruford. i get into yes concerts for free. ive met carl palmer and steve hackett. i saw UK, twice, with john wetton, eddie jobson, and terry bozzio. i know what chris squire's beard feels like against my cheek. i have been so unbelievably blessed as a fan, again, the thing i feel most passionate about in my life, my Thing. what more could i possibly want? if none of that makes me happy, then what possibly will?

ok, take all that away. even without ANY of that, i have enough that would make 90% of other people happy as clams. my family loves me (i think). i live in a great house rent free. i have no bills. i have the most patient, gracious best friend in the world.

i oscillate between it being my fault for not being happy (ungrateful dumbass) and the fault of my genetics, and neither of those things are good enough excuses for me. and, most importantly, neither of those things will ever change. i mean, maybe i can learn to be less of an ungrateful dumbass, but i dont see how thats possible when, like ive said, i already have everything i want, and im still this way.

this feeling of hopelessness is soul crushing. i feel like whatever spirit i had has been stamped out, and every single time it lights up again it gets snuffed again and again and again and again and it will until i die. ill never be free. ill never be happy with what i have. i feel like i was just a mistake, i should have never happened. someone with this kind of brain chemistry, contributing this little, with this few redeeming qualities just shouldnt have happened.

but i am here. and i guess im going to feel endlessly sorry for myself because i dont know how to feel any other way.

i just wish it wasnt this way.