#it has been A Lot (tm)
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Continued my indulgent concept work spree, this time focusing the momentum on updating some concepts from one of my projects (Wind Through the Grass).
#cuttledreams#wind through the grass#oc#more bug creatures#plus others#all of these are plot-specific except the ceratopsian beetle#but tbh all these bug dinos are probably going to be included in the world#as an aside#seeing how many people liked my previous concept sketches has been unexpected#My work outside of bugs generally isn't liked that much#I don't think this set will hit for people the same way the first one did as these have a different vibe#but that's fine since I made a lot of development progress while working on these#been struggling with some of these designs for a long time#all that said yeah have more Guys tm
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spring cleaning
Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)
Rating: Explicit (1.8k)
Tags: Plus Size Reader, Smut, Porn with a little plot, TW Weight Talk, Body Worshipping, Oral Sex (F Receiving), P in V Sex, Use of "Good Girl" and "Good Boy", Both Carmy and Reader have a Praise Kink
You were standing in front of the mirror, eyebrows furrowed, turning this way and that, the skirt of your dress swishing around you.
You heard the lock click and the low thud of Carmy's shoes as he left them by the door.
"Hey."
"In the bedroom," you called back, still frowning.
He walked inside and let himself fall on the bed.
"Long day?" you asked.
"Mhmm," he shifted so that he was able to see you while lying on his side. He noticed the piles of clothes at your feet. "You've been busy too."
"Spring cleaning," you explained with a smile. "That's keep, sell, donate, and throw away," you pointed at the piles. You exchanged a glance with him in the reflection. "What do we think?"
"You look nice," he said, his eyes tracing your figure. "Never seen you wear it before."
"It was in the back of the closet, I forgot it existed," you admitted. "Okay, we're keeping you."
You took the dress off and put it on top of the keep pile, then grabbed a black turtleneck you hadn't touched since mid-December. You put it on and winced, pulling a little on the hem to cover your belly and not quite succeeding.
"We're throwing you away," you said decisively.
"No..."
It was a quiet, pitiful sound and it made you turn towards Carmy with a confused face.
"You look good in it," he explained.
"I think you were looking at my ass and can't be trusted," you teased.
"I wasn't!" he said, then his eyes darted to the edge of your panties, snug against your ass. "Okay, I was. But you still look good in it."
You hummed in disbelief.
It was a sensitive subject. You had put on a little weight and any tight piece of clothing was just a sore reminder of it.
"I'll just get a new one," you deflected, not wanting to get into it now that Carmy was paying you compliments. He didn't even know you were insecure about this but he had probably, almost definitely, noticed you had put on weight. "It's practically see-through now."
That bit wasn't a lie. The knit fabric stretched out over your chest and under bright lights it showed very clearly whatever bra you were wearing underneath.
"You look good in it," Carmy insisted.
"Carm..." you sighed.
He got up from the bed and stood behind you, his arms rounding your waist.
"You look good in it," he repeated, his eyes intense, his breath tickling your cheek. You shivered. His hands went under the hem of the sweater, touching your belly, ghosting under your bra... "So beautiful," he buried his nose in your hair, exhaling hard, squeezing your breasts, bringing you close. You felt his cock, hard against your ass, searching for some friction.
"Fuck..." you sighed, carding your fingers through his curls.
Before you knew what was happening he was carrying you to bed with ease, making you giggle as he lowered you on the pillows a little clumsily.
He knelt between your legs, leaving kisses on the inside of your thighs, the outside of your hips, right underneath your bellybutton where the elastic of your panties had left a faint imprint - all places you were insecure about. All the while, his fingers were tracing gentle lines up your torso, underneath the turtleneck, pressing over your skin with want. He was worshipping your body, careful not to leave a single inch untouched. You bit your lip, overwhelmed, his touch left you electrified.
"Carmy," you called, caressing the side of his face, he looked half consumed with hunger for you and something else - something soft and sad. "Everything okay?"
He nodded. "I just- I don't know how to show you so you'll believe me. But I like you and I want you and you drive me crazy and- I don't know..." Carmy buried his face in the crook of your thigh, his exhale tickling you. "I think that, uh, that you're not feeling great about it right now but I love your body. So much. So fucking much. All of it."
His thumbs traced your sides, drawing pictures over your stretch lines, sending shivers up and down your body. You kept caressing his face. You wanted to cry and you wanted to fuck him and you wanted to kiss him sweetly...
"Thank you," you whispered.
He moved slowly to kiss you - passionate, thorough. "Want me to make you feel good?"
"Please," you smiled. "Turtleneck stays on?" you asked. You hadn't seen him become so unhinged over a piece of clothing since the red bow bra incident of Valentine's Day.
"Mmm," he hesitated, studying your body as he went downwards. He kissed the swell of your breasts over the stretched out fabric, breathing heavily, and moving down, down, down... "Just for a bit."
He started mouthing over your underwear, his breath hot on you, patches of arousal and saliva wet on your panties.
"Fuck," you moaned, massaging his scalp, writhing with pleasure.
"Mhmm?" he arched his eyebrows. 'Is it good?' he seemed to ask.
"Yeah," you whined and tugged at the elastic of your underwear, urging him to get it off. He dragged it down your legs, barely breaking contact, the kisses to your pussy felt heightened now that there was no fabric between you two. "Fuck. Carm."
He took your legs and hitched them up his shoulders, opening you wide for him to devour. His tongue traced wide, long lines on your pussy. When he finally started sucking your clit, you were already on the precipice, back arching off the bed.
"Oh, my God!" you moaned, tugging hard on his curls.
"So fucking hot," he mumbled on your skin, calloused hands caressing your thighs as they clenched against the sides of his face.
You giggled, flushed with arousal.
"Let me ride you?" you offered. You hadn't dared to in a while but you knew he liked it. A lot.
"Fuck, baby..." was all Carmy could say before flipping you over so that you were hovering above him. He removed his shirt as you rushed to unbutton his jeans, hands trembling a little from your orgasm. Carmy stopped you before you could drag his jeans all the way down to his thighs, reaching down to retrieve a condom from his pocket.
"D'you have one inside every single pair of jeans or-?" you teased, mouth watering slightly at the sight of Carmy pumping his cock and putting the condom on.
"Fuck off," he replied lightly, urging you to get closer and straddle his hips. "Like to be prepared."
"I do like that about you," you said sweetly. You leaned over, kissing him as you guided his cock inside you.
"Jesus," Carmy swore under his breath, a low growl trapped in the back of his throat as you lowered yourself on him.
You sat on his hips, hesitant at first, but then he pressed on the flesh of your thighs, urging you to put your full weight on him.
"That's it," he hummed in approval. "Good girl."
You beamed at his praise and bounced on his cock once, getting a groan from him.
"You've been very good to me tonight. Made me feel so loved, so beautiful..." you said in turn, enjoying the bashful look on his face.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you went up and down again and noticed Carmy's eyes following the movement of your breasts. He had said that he wanted you already but there was something truly thrilling about feeling it - feel his cock twitch inside you as you got rid of the sweater and let your bra slide down your shoulders.
"Holy shit," Carmy stared at you open-mouthed.
His hands grabbed at your ass, your hips, greedily, the tendons of his hands flexing. It was a vicious cycle - the way he looked at you in awe, the sweet nothings that fell from his lips and made you ride him harder...
"Always so good to me," you slurred. "Such a good boyf-"
The last syllable of 'boyfriend' was drowned with a gasp, the upward stroke of his cock leaving you breathless. You looked down and found Carmy flushed down to his chest, eyes wide.
"Oh... You like that?" you asked gently.
"I think I do..." he huffed out a laugh, incredulous.
"We can have fun with that," you smiled wide, rolling your hips. He knew your weaknesses and you loved finding out his. "You've used 'good girl' against me."
"Shit," he squeezed his eyes shut, probably counting the times he had teased you to the edge of your orgasm and back with those two words. "Okay."
"Yeah?"
He nodded. "Yeah," he looked at you with dark eyes. "Take whatever you need. Wreck me."
You built a rhythm, low moans leaving Carmy's lips as you rode him.
"Good boy," you said it softly, like you were trying it on and seeing what effect it had on him.
"Fuck!" he growled, thrusting up, breaking your rhythm, making you see stars.
"Mhmm," you felt a warm pool inside your belly.
"'m so fucking close, baby. Help me a little," he managed, guiding your right hand to your pussy, wordlessly asking you to touch yourself.
You did, traced swirls on your clit as you saw him almost lose control - because of you. He was panting and sweating, leaving handprints on your thighs because he wanted you that much. The realization made you shiver and pulse around him.
"Carm..." you called softly, so close to your release it hurt. You caressed his chest, the lines of ink on it. "So perfect inside me, my good boy..."
"Pleeease," he whimpered.
And you fell apart, moaning and shivering, the sight of you coming on his cock was enough to break him. He dragged you down and kissed you with desperation.
"Baby, baby, baby," he sighed. His hands roamed and squeezed all over your body.
"You okay?" you asked, moving strands of sweaty hair out of his face.
He nodded but you weren't completely convinced.
"If you didn't like me calling you that we don't need to do it again," you reassured him. "Thought it would be fun but-"
"No. Don't-" he struggled with his words. "I liked it. Fuck, I loved it. I just feel a little guilty that- Well, I was trying to make you forget that you were upset and- I feel like it became about me at some point?"
"Hey," you cupped his face. "It's okay. Haven't felt this good about myself in months," you said honestly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
You felt like you were glowing, beautiful and satisfied. It wasn't a permanent fix but seeing Carmy lose control like that for you had been a calming balm to a wound you had ignored for a long time.
"Thank you," you said against his lips and then kissed him slow and deep.
You fell asleep at some point, warm, entangled, and perfectly content.
#more zorrasucia lore: gained a bit of weight because Life(TM) has been a lot#dunno#again this is for me but i hope you guys enjoy it still#can be read as part of teach me tonight verse or as a one shot#let me know if i should add any other warnings pls#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x you#carmy x you#carmy berzatto smut#carmy berzatto fanfiction
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Janeway/Tuvok Vibes
#star trek voyager memes#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok#in my mind they sort of talk to each other like two male friends in a victorian novel where you can't tell if they're gay or not#'We're like family you and I old boy. Oh an age has gone by and another age'll go by still and we'll be here at one another's sides - gay#as lambs for the journey life provides and gayer still for the good company to take it with.'#st voyager#voy#tuvok/janeway#janeway/tuvok#I'm thinking about them a lot right now#Tuvok is Janeway's knight but he is also her Princess#Just as Janeway is Tuvok's Captain[tm] and also sort of a rat he is observing (no other rat has been worthy of study - before or since)#Captain[tm] is something only Janeway can be. Anyone can be a Captain but no one can be Captain[tm] but Janeway
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I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.
In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.
But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.
The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:
The actual perpetrator.
We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.
And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.
Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.
For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.
It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:
But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.
He died afraid.
If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.
Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.
The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.
#danganronpa#dr analysis#komaedology#komaeda#.txt#sorry @ non komaedaheads for making it about komaeda again LMAO#that was not the intention initially he's just... a really good exploration of this#and i think about his expressions in that comic vs his corpse and what we retroactively knew he was dealing with a lot#btw don't send spoilers to falter please!! i'm @ing to credit them- this was a discussion not solely my ideas- but they are not done yet#and aren't reading this post until they're caught up for obvious reasons#this came from discussing ch2 since the incomplete picture people voted with nearly killed them#(btw don't @ me about komaeda's description in the second-last paragraph being an oversimplification; i know :p )#(he has nuance- especially outside of the killing game- but i'm just focusing on the thematically relevant broad strokes here)#(eg. i feel like he demonstrates empathy sometimes but kodaka has said that lack of ability to empathise/be empathised with#is a theme for him- and the ways he's been proactive in the killing game consistently lacked regard for others' feelings/individuality#reducing them to interchangeable Ultimates(TM) instead. it's partly why he self-destructed while everyone else#was able to forgive themself and keep moving forwards imo. your worth being defined rigidly by objective contributions to society#does not mesh well with the idea of rehabilitating people who've destroyed the world before they could even start to improve it#and even if he did give them a chance at surviving he still succumbed to his own ideology in the end#killed himself for 'hope' and to be 'important' like he 'wanted' but died terrified and in pain and alone instead of fulfilled#man i wish 2.5's ending/postnwp canon in general dug into that ;-; )#ANYWAY ty for reading all that. i feel like i rambled a lot in this one. i have a headache now ghdkjsfgdsf
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#litten#this has the vibe of a lot of those cat memes. you know what i mean#apparently folks have been doing a lot of shiny hunting of this thing in sv#meanwhile i'm way too lazy to grind out the 12‚000 BP required to unlock all the starters in all the zones#so i just GTS'd the damn thangs to complete the pokédex#BBQs are so tedious……… take a picture of a pokémon swimming to fill up your screenshots!! make a TM you don't want!! catch yet another#tyrogue to fill up your boxes with garbage!! make a sandwich you don't want with your limited set of ingredients that will require you to g#all the way to mesagoza to buy more because that's the only place you know where to get sandwich ingredients because you never#interacted with the sandwich mechanic until you started shiny hunting!!!#maybe these are um. very personal complaints
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Eddie not being in last nights ep makes sense if his storyline from last week was originally supposed to go with all of this, given the whole Sick Day of it (virus & Chris getting sick during chess) & the timeline (Eddie having been there for 3 weeks at the time of the interview, Buck saying nobody else is quitting “this month”), but that would’ve been nearly impossible to shift back & forth between, tonally speaking.
Like, oh, Eddie’s parents didn’t tell him about the chess tournament cut to -> “there was an explosion in the lab & Hen’s got a collapsed lung” -> “Chris’ father, Ramon” -> oh crazy that Chim has actually been breathing in this aerosolized deadly virus that only has a 40% survival rate -> Chris throwing up on the chess board.
That wouldn’t have made any sense, so they had to split them up (which we know they did something, given that Invisible was added after they’d already done the line up & started shooting).
Eddie’s on his own journey rn, he was literally doing it at the same time the team was trapped in the lab, but he didn’t go down to Texas to be a firefighter; he went down there to be a dad, and being a dad right now is more important than him being a firefighter.
Eddie said it like, 2 episodes ago - Chris is his priority, and anybody else is going to lose to him every single time, so as much as he would’ve made sense in last night’s ep, he’s away 1) for the drama of it all, bc this is still a television procedural & his absence definitely ups the stakes for the other characters, and 2) bc he’s doing his own thing. Like, Eddie IS a main character, which means he does have his own storylines that don’t always meld with everybody else’s immediately, that’s the whole point. He’s not a plot device or a last name-less love interest or a secondary character, he’s a main with his own arcs & journeys to go through.
Plus, this is a two-episode story, there’s still a chance he’s going to play his own role in whatever the hell is going on next week. (Eddie finally gets ahold of Buck to share the news about Chris living w him again, finds out about the virus & the missing cure and ends up being the one to suggest the rat - he probably saw that in Afghanistan lmao)
Not all of the characters are immediately part of the big emergency, but they usually come together at the end of it to save the day so like. Idk man, everybody just take a breath & see what happens in part 2 before claiming that nobody actually cares about Eddie 😅
#911 abc#eddie diaz#911 spoilers#I talk a lot of shit about TM but sometimes I’m like… there’s very obviously something going on here can we just wait to see what it is?#currently also waiting to see what he’s doing w Eddie’s parents before I decide how I feel lol#I’ve been getting flashbacks to the Tommy stans screaming that it would’ve made so much sense for Tommy to be in the opening emergency#& that it was bad writing that he wasn’t and the show was stupid for not using him bc it was a missed opportunity#OBVIOUSLY I’m not saying Eddie & Tommy are the same - character or story wise - but Tumblr has definitely taken me back a couple months 😅#am I brave enough to post this rn? idk actually lol.#I don’t rly want to get screamed at & some of the EddieGirls (gn) are FERAL rn 😭#I promise it’s going to be okay I’m holding your hand we are getting through this TOGETHER#might post & then delete before I get anybody screaming at me who knoooowwwsss lol
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*Disappointed Alfred stare tm*
Prompt? Idk, go ham
So, GK Danny has been with Batfamkly for a while now. Like, a few years. He's a freshly adulting adult. He loves his family. A lot of crap in DC canon didn't happen and stuff. He is now a part of JL.
He gets a mission from CW to go to an alternate version of his dimension and fix whatever is happening there.
He gets sent into the world where Gotham War is happening. He is DISAPPOINTED and also horrified, to say the least. His dad is way better. B, take him home pls.
But he has a duty to do. So...
*Loud clap from the sky getting everyone's attention at once*
"Ladies, gentlemen, and others, we are closing this shit show down for maintenance. Please vacate the premises." A person in the sky announced, grabbed the whole batfamily in reach and swooshed away.
#Bruce got the stare#and hell#and help#but a lot of stare TM#Alfred taught him that and he nailed it down to perfection over the years#full disclaimer: I have little to know knowledge of what's happening in DC rn#I just know that Jason has been given a very short end#and that the whole family is in disarray.#and that Dick wants to kill a bitch (my speculation after seejng a few panels)#Get Jason Yeti help#Get Tim a big hug#and Damian#and Dick#and others#and I think all of them need a bath or twn and sleep#dpxdc#danny phantom#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp
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VEIN'S HIS MODELLING BOSS???
#i havent been as into vein and xia fei tm like ive seen a lot of people#but also. because veifei is the ship yall wanted to see. has me all giggly too. ship-in-law or something#link click#link click spoilers#veifei
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Alright, the hyperfixation’s still kicking, so fuck it. Here’s the pokemon I think the Project Eden’s Garden characters would have or would turn into if they were Mystery Dungeon’d
Damon - Servine, Applin, Noibat
Kai - Togetic, Ribombee, Vivillon
Eloise - Swanna, Honedge, Farfetch’d (Galarian) or Sirfetch’d
Grace - Buneary, Jigglypuff, Spheal (golf ball lmao)
Wolfgang - Flaaffy, Wooloo, Herdier, Prinplup
Ingrid - Pyroar, Armarouge, Tinkaton
Toshiko - Spritzee, Fomantis, Flamigo, Roselia
Jett - Poochyena, Scrafty, Revavroom
Mark - Treecko, Whismur, Deino
Eva - Corvisquire, Mawile, Sneasel (normal or Hisuian)
Ulysses - Hoothoot, Elgyem, Claydol
Wenona - Teddiursa, Stufful, Pancham, Pawmo
Desmond - Wartortle, Poliwhirl, Dewott, Clauncher
Cassidy - Sizzlipede, Joltik, Dewpider, Scolipede
Jean - Dragonite, Druddigon, Charizard
Diana - Audino, (shiny) Furret, Galarian Ponyta, Minccino
#project eden's garden#project edens garden#danganronpa fan game#damon maitsu#pokemon#a lot of these have to do with their respective animals#some were easier than others#Diana Mark and Jean were fucking HARD#Cuz like#no lizard pokemon really fit Diana’s vibe y’know?#Some of them I also picked just based on vibes#Wolfgang gets sheep. but also a herding dog cause he tried to immediately take up a leader position and lead the rest of the class#Herding the sheep so to speak#Grace gets a spherical pkmn cause she golfs lmao#Damon and Kai were pretty easy. fits their animals and personalities#I immediately thought of the snivy line when thinking of Damon#same with Toshiko and Spritzee#god though a mystery dungeon au of Eden’s garden goes hard to me#they get isekai’d after trial 1 and the situation changes from#-we cannot trust each other- to -we have to trust each other to survive-#Angst and escapades ensue#coupled with adjusting to the fact that they ARENT HUMAN ANYMORE WTF#I loveee that kind of angst#Also they have to adjust to the fact that ultimates aren’t like#a thing in the pokemon world#Damon has Feelings (tm) about that#Immaculate. Fantastic. I’ve been plagued by these thoughts for DAYS#and I’m making it other people’s problems
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rottmnt/gotham dream drawings as promised lmao
#rottmnt#rise mikey#rise donnie#magma.jpg#this is technically a batman fusion but i wont tag that#anyway pasting tags from dream post ->#a kind of batman rottmnt fusion with new york and gotham except the only thing that came with gotham was dr. freeze and the Gotham Vibe(tm)#+ he's like donnies adopted uncle/mentor#also he's friends with big mama for some reason.#anyway. plot of dream is that a magic surge of some kind happens and strong magic users end up getting fused with things they work with#the turtles + draxum are out of town for some other thing (fighting something- mikey has lost his arm. draxum has also lost an arm)#(draxums arm was gone before the fight though)#(anyway)#donnie is left in new york as a home guard or something so hes been spending more time around freezes lab#just before the magic surge freeze leaves (for some reason)#and when the surge happens donnie ends of fusing with both his own tech and freezes tech#this causes a lot of it to ice explode and dr. freezes hideout turns into a stabby stabby glacier#donnie ends up on big mamas roof somehow and she assumes hes dr freeze due the the ice#dream ends there#it had some cool visuals and the phantasm arms are extreemly drawable
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My constipated little lady (11 y/o cat) spent the day at the vet for observation as they gave her fluids and a bit of laxative. Still didn't manage to pass the mysterious blockage, doesn't show on x-ray other than that she's got some pockets of gas in there that haven't moved. Brought home with expectation to likely have to do surgery tomorrow if she doesn't fart it all out tonight. She's still got a thingy (don't know the english word, "kanyl" in swedish) on her leg so they don't have to stab her again tomorrow, which means she has to wear the dreaded Cone so she doesn't bite at the well-wrapped bandage.
Life is very difficult for little Smulan right now.
The vets did however tell me that she's been a Very Good Girl. Very well-behaved and easy to handle. Proud of my brave little lady.
#she's managed to keep her food down tho and even poop a little (with a good amount of farting) so I'm still slightly hopeful-#-that an x-ray tomorrow will show that the blockage has moved on its own and that no surgery will be needed#my Anxiety(tm) however wants to assume the worst for both cat and wallet...#I will pay without hesitation however if she ends up needing it. She's my baby.#the teeth-check for her TR/FORL will Not happen next week now though. I won't put her through that as well right after this#privileged af to have been able to save enough money over the years to do this for my cats when stuff like this happens#but I might need to start considering commissions again soon with these costs#still unemployed (work-training but not actually employed...) living off of disability-aid and that doesn't bring in a lot of money lol#kreft rambles#ignore me...
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#Out Of Coffins :: OOC#PSA From The Mun :: OOC#(( So I have been dealing with a terrible room situation for a while now. ))#(( As well as terrible physical and mental health. Thus my long stints of unable to write a lot. ))#(( WELL WE HAVE DISCOVERED MOLD AND MILDEW IN MY CLOSET ON WEDNESDAY LAST WEEK. ))#(( and it has apparently been there for y e a r s. ))#(( it is from thew same leak and complaints I had when I was in god damn middle school AND NO ONE LISTENED TO ME. ))#(( Who listens to a kid right? ))#(( WELL NOW HERE WE ARE ))#(( Hole in my closet floor#and wall barely patched. ))#(( While I have to use a gas mask to even be in here. ))#(( I have photos and videos of the horrors TM if anyone is curious ))#(( Now? The singular repair guy says let the ground dry which okay yeah fair ))#(( Then said he's gonna put down new plywood and a carpet and call it a day when done. ))#(( NOT REPLACE OR REPAIR THE ROTTED WALLS OR DAMAGE. ))#(( JUST A PATCH WORK JOB. ))#(( God I hate grandfathered in small places. ))#(( They can get away with so much shit. ))#(( So this is what I have been dealing with. ))#(( the foot note version of course. ))
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im framing this panel
#iru rants#dungeon meshi#he looks so!! here im crying#the art style has been changing tbh#hes been looking a lot cuter but I can't tell when it started#or he just looks less stressed bc they are not in a situation (tm) rn. maybe. maybe.#chilchuck
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tagged for six non-selfies by @gordiemeow!! 💕💕






1. 90% of my daily life (grad school)
2. my friends the 10000 deer who live in the woods i run in
3. hippo campus concert :)))
4. flipturn concert :)))
5. decorating for a friend’s surprise party
6. alligators!
tagging @catboy-mahura, @tofumilanesa, @bhagell, @2minutes4yeehawing and you, reading this!!!
#i love doing these 🥺🫶 and i love seeing everybody’s. i love seeing ur life!! beloveds to me!!! like ur neighbors on the porch waving hi#i am so bad about taking photos i really do not have a lot from this year!! trying to be better about taking photos. esp of fun things#(i say despite my phone storage begging me to delete photos… i have no idea either really)#not featured: pwhl game this year!!! (you guys already saw my two good photos)#college hockey (all of my photos were so blurry 😭😭)#soups and/or curries and/or my bobas. they were good though#and i did not make the entirety of this concert pictures but you definitely could’ve had more <3#no beanie baby (john) pictures though because unfortunately. they are all selfies because i love my cat he never leaves my lap. here now.#liv in the replies#scrolled through my camera roll like i promise i did things… has the Apartment TM been having a Moment about the passage of time y e a h so#cannot wait until [redacted] no longer takes up so much of my time and i am very excited i hope my internship is fun and cool.#everybody manifest for me ok. threatening this move & opportunity like you’re gonna fix my life u little fucker. one way or another!!!#mind over matter i am going to change my life a little even if it kills me etc etc
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Me: I'm not sure if my health can withstand a commute. Should I try to go in tomorrow?
Apollo: no
Me: should I plan to work from home?
Apollo: no
Me: ...
Apollo:
Me: migraine?
Apollo: migraine.
#(cue it starting immediately afterwards)#i managed to take some painkillers in time to stave the migraine off but i still felt like shit the next day#so i couldnt have worked regardless#this was monday night (and tbf sunday & monday were *extremely* tiring days. i was falling asleep while crocheting & playing ac#which is rare even considering my fatigue issues)#yes/no divination has been great as a way to consult apollo without pulling out the tarot deck (which is more time consuming and takes#a *lot* more spoons)#the only issue is that when i do the stones or tarot i tend to get on a Divination Kick tm which is. not helpful b/c what am i going to do??#i've already finished asking what i needed to ask???#i should probably funnel that burst of dopamine/hyperfixation into researching different methods actually#gonna add that to the routine#also! working out the kinks with the yes/no method. doing it on my floor? no good. inconsistent results. Feels Bad. Loud#doing it on my bed? wonderful 10/10. very consistent results. Feels Good. not loud#i still do tarot on the floor though b/c having a flat sturdy surface is nice#for reference: my commute is 2-2.5 hrs each way via public transit. the sensory experience drains me *very* fast if im not careful and#we're in Purgatory Weather season where it's *juuust* warm & humid enough to maybe be a problem but isnt one For Sure#*and* the state fair is on so the trains are gonna be packed when im trying to get home#coriander says#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#apollo#theoi#pagans of tumblr#hellenic community#paganblr
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May I humbly request more Mateus+Zenos content/lore? Their silliness fascinates and captivates me.
Absolutely Anon! And I'm glad to hear it ^o^. I'm gonna slap this under a read more though cause this is probably gonna be pretty long lol
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Mateus (I realize I don't think I ever specified that he's closer to the twins/fordola/arenvald in age, he's 19/20 by EW) was "studying" engineering before the death of his father and the subsequent fall of the empire. He excels in building advanced machina, and was primarily just coasting through the academy to build up both his reputation and his connections. Similar to Zenos he was fascinated by magic, and thusly dedicated a lot of time experimenting with ways to conduct and command aether.
Despite being the favored son Varis could not keep track of Mateus' whereabouts even when he had doubts, and Mateus has no qualms lying through his teeth even to his family and even to his mother. This meant that when he was out, he was often either out salvaging or using allowance to fund his projects, or doing his own martial training as a pastime.
What Mateus was doing was both fixing up an old decommissioned airship, and making "Heaven" and "Hell", two humanoid machines he was making for the purpose of conquest. He was often daydreaming of the day Zenos or Varis would ask him to join them, and is a bit of a sore spot for him after having to flee the collapse and finding Zenos with the scions later down the line.
Heaven is a large multi-armed siege machine that doubles as an autopilot for the airship. It stores aether to charge Mateus' staff, and primarily works to protect him. Hell is based visually off of Zenos' old armor, and is a hyper aggressive machine that Mateus can wear as a suit if he's feeling particularly destructive. The ship, Mateus, and the machina basically operate together like a bullet hell lmfao. Hell also starts getting Zenos into a shit ton of trouble especially with the alliance when Mateus starts wreaking havoc behind everyone's backs and Zenos starts getting blamed for it.
Post-EW Mateus is spending his time trying to salvage and aid (take over) Garlemald, often accompanied by the only two outside his family still around that really knows the truth of his existence: Julia and Annia. The Soranus sisters, especially after Zenos returned to the palace, were basically big sisters to Mateus, however he wasn't as attached to them as he was to his actual family, and sees them more as useful pawns than as mentors.
Mateus despises Alphinaud and Alisaie, and Estinien, the same way Asahi did to WoL. Meteor gets to dodge this purely by virtue that Mateus finds him useful (and in a way tries to treat him likes he treats Zenos in an attempt to win him over too). But he gets aggressively bitter whenever Zenos dotes on Alphinaud or Alisaie at all. Even despite him trying to cover his intentions they push his buttons unintentionally to either get him into arguments with the former, or fights with the latter (and starts snapping a bit when Zenos gives the twins advice/training and Mateus loses most footing he has on both fronts.)
Alphinaud especially is very wary of Mateus because he can tell there's something synthetic about his facade, and tries very hard to both glean his intentions and pick out where his lies are and why. Alisaie however is just ready to throw down with him tbh, especially when Zenos starts struggling with figuring out how to handle him, and even moreso whenever Mateus is trying to isolate Zenos.
Now... why Estinien? It's less the feeling of being replaced like it is for the twins, and moreso Mateus being an overbearing and bullheaded younger brother and thinking for some forsaken reason Zenos and Estinien are in a secret relationship. He is very adamant about this conspiracy and Zenos himself is unable to pry why Mateus gets so aggravated with Estinien, when the dragoon literally is just existing there and only intervenes with Zenos whenever Mateus is picking on the twins.
Why this came into existence is just because I write Zenos and Estinien as a really close duo (to the point tbh that it's kinda fair for Mateus to assume it despite the rest of the scions knowing this isn't the case).
The two bonded over hunting together, and Estinien and his /lean wall is just what Zenos naturally gravitates to if he isn't needed for something. They also argue like an old married couple with Zenos getting on Estinien's ass over finances or him blowing himself up doing dragon dragoon bullshit, and Estinien likewise is either grabbing this man by his golden locks for trying to be the last to get tended to for injuries, or prodding at him when he's trying to pry into why Zenos is either being moody or starts falling back into apathy.
Mateus also just gets aggravated with the fact that Zenos has the most physical "dependence" with Estinien, and being the spoiled baby brother meant that he wasn't a fan of whenever Zenos chooses to lean on or rest his head on Estinien (because post-ew zenos is very physically clingy and Mateus is not used to his brother seeking affection let alone reacting to it). Estinien in turn indulges it cause he's a bro like that and honestly Zenos is so genuine about it all that it's hard for him to find a reason not to, and he's so used to him protecting him, picking him up, and throwing him that the proximity is just second nature by now LOL.
So with all that, it is very unfortunate for Mateus when he tries to corner Estinien and threatens him to try and get him to go away. Because the intimidation fails miserably Estinien leans deeply into the conspiracy just to piss the spoiled little brat off (or, because I frankly dont mind people using the lore/concepts/characters I write for their own stuff and someone ships dork and dorkier over here he's deadass just more outwardly affectionate). Meanwhile Zenos is blissfully unaware for the most part, man's just happy to have the companionship lol.
#ffxiv#anon ask#thank you anon!#concept#oc#mateus wir galvus#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#ive been planning on making more gposes of them but my ingame time has been going to pentamelding my omnicrafting v-v#such is the way of me not doing it last patch lol#but soon(tm) alongside some ancient stuff and zenos with scions#mateus is a certified little hater#he is here to be the ironic reality that the son varis cherished was in reality everything he doomed zenos over#and tbh it was the main rift between mateus and his father#he could not fathom why zenos was treated so poorly and leans into mateus also being morbidly fascinated by hate as well#also was not expecting to be referencing ennos(?) in this but#I also realized that a lot of how I write their companionship can be read as romantic and thought it would be fun to add as a story concept#so while I dont usually indulge in shipping I do love reading comments and notes about the ideas other people have#and thank you for listening to my insane blorbo ramblings lmao#ill probably reblog/write more as I think about it#otherwise it'll just be in the art/gpose tags as per usual
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