#it had only been what? a month since BoM? two months?

[shuutingstar]

ever wonder if a small part why jake went to go fight the dragon that was terrorising camp was not just because he was head counsellor, but also because he didn’t really care if that thing killed him or not? ever wonder if jake accepted that he may die that day even before the dragon tried to kill him? ever wonder if nyssa found him lying on the ground bruised and bleeding and she cried because for a second she really did think jake was dead. ever wonder if when jake woke up he was disappointed to learn that he did in fact survive the dragon’s attack and therefore is still living.

[forabeatofadrum]

The Still Untitled Klaine December Challenge Fic (2/21)

Notes: Step aside Klaine Advent 2017 Day 13 'Mist', this is the hardest prompt I've had to use.

Anyway, let's check in with our boy, Kurt.

AO3 | S&C

-

BIKINI

Kurt’s going to miss Ljubljana. Of course, he is. This city has given him so much: love, friendship, energy. It’s his last day and it’s weird to walk around Kongresni trg with Sunil and Tadeja, knowing that he won’t be back here for probably a long time.

They’re about to grab a pizza at Ljubljanski dvor, the place where he first met Blaine. But Blaine isn’t here anymore. Kurt woke up to a message from Blaine, telling him that he’s landed safely, and then another string of messages about his brother. Due to time difference, they haven’t really talked yet. Blaine is in America. Kurt’s following suit. His flight leaves in a couple of hours.

“This will be my last meal in Ljubljana, probably,” Kurt laments. The overpriced stuff at the airport will not count.

“Awww,” Tadeja pouts.

“You could’ve stayed,” Sunil points out, albeit in a more jokey way. Sunil knows that Kurt isn’t staying. He considered it for a while. He needs to do an internship for his next academic year and it might’ve been possible to also do that here in the first semester. This is why Sunil is staying instead of going back to Sri Lanka.

And Kurt adores Ljubljana, but it’s different without Blaine.

Not only that, but he’s cooking something up. He’s already spammed his advisor’s e-mail about it. Kurt’s trying to go to Los Angeles. It’s probably too late to find an internship for September, but the second semester is also an option, so Kurt’s gunning for February.

He hasn’t talked about it with Blaine, because Kurt first wants to have a concrete plan before he brings it up. Kurt’s only told his dad briefly over the phone. His dad wondered if it was smart to uproot his life for a guy, but Kurt argued that it’s temporary and he might move in with Blaine and Quinn for those six months, so it’ll save costs and what not. His dad argued back that money is no problem, since he’s a congressman so he can help. That’s where the conversation ended, but Kurt’s only at the beginning of the planning process.

First, he has to go back to New York.

Kurt, Sunil and Tadeja eat their pizza’s and talk about silly things. No one wants to dwell on the fact that Kurt’s leaving. God, Kurt’s going to miss Sunil so much.

After pizza, they have one last walk through the centre of Ljubljana, but then it’s time to go to Tadeja’s place to get Kurt’s luggage. Since Kurt obviously couldn’t stay in Blaine’s apartment, he spent the last night at Tadeja’s.

“This is it,” he says once everything’s ready. They stand outside of Tadeja’s building. The taxi has been called.

Tadeja hugs him first.

“Nasvidenje,” she says, “Pogrešal te bom.”

“I will miss you too,” Kurt says back, in English, because he wants to spare Tadeja from his terrible Slovene pronunciation. Tadeja knows it and playfully scorns Kurt.

Then it’s time to say goodbye to Sunil and it hurts. It’s different than saying goodbye to Blaine, but it’s still painful.

“Sunil-”

Sunil cuts him off with a hug.

“I know,” he says, “I know. The feeling is a mutual.”

The taxi arrives. Sunil helps Kurt with his luggage and then it’s over. Kurt gets in the car and waves as it drives away.

--

“Hey kiddo.”

God, Kurt didn’t know how much he missed his dad until now. Kurt’s dad and Carole flew to New York to welcome him back and then they’re staying for a couple of days so that they could spend it with Kurt.

Kurt’s pretty sure Carole is weeping with joy.

The three of them travel to Kurt’s apartment. He shares it with two women named Rachel and Santana. They’re from the same fancy all-girls school and they tolerated each other enough to move in together. They originally shared the apartment with another classmate, but she moved out to go back home to Westerville, so Rachel and Santana needed a new roommate.

That’s how Kurt ended up in this place. They’ve been living together for three years and it’s fine. He likes Rachel and Santana, although they drive him mad at times, especially Rachel. He subleased his room to another New Yorker, but that person has left so that Kurt can return.

Rachel and Santana aren’t there to welcome him home, since Rachel said something about “meeting someone from the industry” and Santana wanted to “buy a bikini for her girlfriend”, but that is fine. That gives him, his dad and Carole more space to unpack in peace.

“Good to be back?” his dad asks when Kurt steps into his bedroom.

“Different,” Kurt answers.

New York is so different from Ljubljana. Kurt walks towards his window and looks outside. Ljubljana might’ve been the capital of a country, but it has nothing on New York. New York is busier, faster, louder… it’s just more in every sense. It cannot be compared to Ljubljana. Kurt already misses the charm of Ljubljana.

He wonders how Blaine is doing in LA. LA is already a completely different city from New York. Kurt hopes he’ll like it there.

“Dad, can I have a moment to call Blaine?” he asks. There’s only a 3 hour time difference between them now, which is way better than the 9 hour one.

“Of course,” his dad says kindly, “Tell him hi from us.”

Carole nods. Then they leave and close the door behind them.

Kurt calls Blaine, who immediately picks up. Blaine was expecting him to call.

“Hey there,” Blaine sounds cheerful, “Back in New York?”

“Oh, I am so tired,” Kurt says, “Is your jet lag gone?”

“Almost,” Blaine answers with a laugh.

“Is your brother gone?”

“Yes!” Blaine sounds relieved.

“Is it that bad?” Kurt asks. He’s happy and touched that his dad and Carole flew to New York for him and he’s beyond excited to spend the next couple of days with them.

Blaine seems to pick up on that. God, he knows Kurt so well.

“Well, I am glad to see him. I did miss him, but Quinn, Denise and I wanted to figure out what to do with you know what,” Blaine sighs, “We want to have some stability in life again before we tell other people that we broke up. Quinn’s mother apparently sent me a welcome home gift for, I quote, her favourite son-in-law, which was sweet but… weird.”

Kurt can imagine. When he and Adam broke up, it was also an adjustment for Kurt’s friends and family, but he and Adam were nowhere as serious as Blaine and Quinn. That, and Kurt didn’t realise he had a completely different sexuality.

What would his dad say if he came home with a woman? The thought makes him want to giggle.

“Anyway, enough of my worries,” Blaine says, “How are you?”

They talk for an hour until Kurt’s dad interrupts to tell Kurt that Rachel has gone home and wants to greet him. Kurt and Blaine tell each other they love each other and hang up. Kurt sighs. Two more weeks and then Blaine will be in New York. He can’t wait.

-

End notes: God, I actually miss Ljubljana. One of the reasons I went back and forth on this sequel plan is because I knew the sequel wasn't going to be in Ljubljana, but I also love these versions of the boys (and Quinn) so much.

I still am looking for a title and it'll probably be in Slovene for consistency, even though the story isn't in Slovenia. But you know, neither was Je tik pred vami.

[bloodblanks]

tili tili bom [eyeless jack x reader] — chapter i.

It’s been two months since you were first diagnosed with a terminal illness. Therefore, it’s not all that surprising when the grim reaper, complete with his cloak, scythe, and deep blue mask crawls in through your window.

co-written with the lovely dawn_citrinitas! ♡

author's note: this fanfiction will not contain much, if any, dark or explicit content, but nonetheless,

please read at your own discretion.

<- previous chapter

20th February. Barnaul, Russia.

The tempest surrounding her was barrenly cold. The fierce winds battered at her delicate form, sending her clothes rippling and whipping against her own skin.

The sun, along with its accompanying clouds, had disappeared from the sky a couple of hours ago. Overhead, adorned with an abundance of tiny, shining stars, was a black abyss stretching out to every end of her sight. Staring up at the crescent moon that hung high in the sky, Y/N happily froze outside the hospital walls, with nothing to oppose the blizzard raging around her.

The girl huddled up, hugging herself, dressed in only a pair of flimsy shorts that did little to cover her legs, a cropped t-shirt and her favourite fluffy slippers. Her hands ran up and down from her arms to her shoulders, desperately attempting to generate some warmth to escape the bitter coldness of the December storms.

Permitting the mad element to win this unequal battle, Y/N, despite the possible consequences, indulged in fresh air for the first time in two months. Still, she knew her time here was limited, cut short by the fact that she had to return soon. Otherwise, the hospital staff would find her, and God knows what punishment she’d receive for the little stunt she had pulled. It’d have been worth it, though. She would gladly accept the repercussions; the sensation of the harsh climate, while abrasive, felt ever so alive in contrast to the stiff, unmoving air within the hospital rooms.

She hadn’t been thinking about the ramifications when she left, though. At the time, she had been more concerned about her means of escape. After all, leaving the hospital was no simple task—all the windows’ handles were removed for safety reasons, and it was necessary to ask one of the nurses to open them. However, she had found out where all the window handles were hidden and took advantage of this at the very first opportunity she found, retrieving a handle for herself and opening the way to her freedom, leaping out into the snowy grounds below.

Even though the possibility of being caught ran across her mind, she didn’t feel as worried as she figured she should have.

Pale as a sheet of paper, her skin reddened from the cold, the snowflakes touching the surface of her skin felt like individual shards of glass, cutting through the entirety of her body, slicing every inch of exposed skin, where the pyjamas failed to cover her.

Her newfound freedom was short-lived, gone as soon as it came. Through the guttural howls of the wind, she could hear faint shouts of her name, along with the sound of footsteps.

She didn’t turn around. She kept looking straight ahead, her chin tilted slightly upwards towards the sky as she took in the sight before her, admiring the scintillas of light glittering through the night. She continued gazing at the stars as she took a deep breath, the air ever so cold as she inhaled the fresh winter scent, wanting to enjoy the exquisite atmosphere for just a second longer, and not from behind the closed window of the hospital ward.

A worried nurse rushed over to the shivering girl. Her hair was frazzled, strands poking out of what was once a neat bun, the freezing wind ruffling the snow-white robe worn on the shoulders of the young hospital worker.

“Y/N!” she called out to the girl. “There you are! We’ve been looking for you everywhere.” the nurse exclaimed as she gasped for breath. She had visibly been running around for a while searching for the missing patient. She ran up to Y/N, who was trembling from the cold and grabbed her hand.

Y/N stayed silent. She looked around for the last time, trying to sear an imprint of the scenery in her mind, something to take with her as she followed the alarmed nurse, who was already hastily tugging her back towards the hospital building.

“You know you can’t sneak out like this! And especially in this weather too?” the nurse scolded her, trying to convey to the foolish seventeen-year-old how unacceptable her behaviour was, hoping she wouldn’t do it again.

But Y/N already knew. Y/N already knew that she couldn’t leave the hospital. She had known it since the day she was brought here, when her outerwear and shoes were taken away from her, likely so as to avoid situations like the one she now found herself in.

“Sorry,” Y/N muttered, barely moving her frozen limbs.

She wasn’t sorry. She didn’t regret her actions in the slightest, but she didn’t want to create more problems for herself than she already had. She decided not to worsen the situation; it was much easier to simply nod along and be obedient.

Lost in her thoughts, Y/N didn’t even pay attention to her journey back, only noticing that she had returned when the nauseatingly bright hospital lights snapped her out of her trance. She realized then that she was now passing the reception room entrance, but despite already being inside the building, the nurse held onto Y/N’s hand tightly as if she was afraid of another escape attempt.

And then she was walking up the stairs again, with its broken, slippery tiles. The cockroaches accompanying the girl on her way to the ward and the bars on the windows of the long flights of stairs made this place appear even more like a prison for sick children rather than a place intended to recover one’s health.

When they arrived at the nurses’ station, the nurse finally released Y/N’s hand. A moment’s silence passed as the young hospital employee gave Y/N, still trembling from the cold, a sympathetic look. She, in turn, cast her eyes down to the floor, silently hoping to never again see people in white coats with her everywhere she went.

“Y/N.” the nurse stated her name, causing her to look back up and meet her gaze. “Promise me you won’t do that again, and I’ll promise not to tell anyone about your… adventure.”

Y/N shrugged sheepishly.

“Promise,” she mumbled. The nurse seemed satisfied with her response.

“Alright, good. Go take a hot shower and get to bed. But don’t forget to come back and pick up your pills before you sleep.” Instead of being reprimanded and forced to explain herself, like Y/N had expected, the nurse merely gave her instructions and then left, to her relief.

She did as she was told. She took a hot shower, changed out of her damp clothes and into fresh, dry ones before putting on a non-soggy pair of slippers and heading back to the nurse’s station for another portion of pills that would barely help her.

After exchanging awkward glances with the nurse and receiving the necessary pills from her, Y/N began walking toward the treatment room. Upon her arrival in the waiting area, she was greeted with the cries of children, afraid of their upcoming procedure. Trying her best to tune out the awful noise, she impatiently waited her turn to receive intramuscular administration of antibiotics. After a short but welcome stay in the fresh air outside, the stuffiness within the hospital walls felt even more sickening than before. The wailing sobs of the children stuck here seemed even louder, the orderlies scurrying around more irritating than ever before, and the jarring whiteness of the hospital lights only added fuel to the ever-growing fire inside her.

Today marked an exact two and a half months since the beginning of her stay. Her very first visit was six months back, during October, around the time the first snow had fallen. While she had been experiencing various pains prior to that, her guardian had brushed it aside, deeming her words to be mere excuses in order to avoid attending school. It was only when the agony had become too much to bear and she had eventually fainted that she was brought in for medical treatment. After the running of various tests, and trials of different medications, which dragged on until early December, she was eventually told by the doctor of the unfortunate results of the situation—that she had approximately five months left to live.

Calm down, she tried to tell herself. I just need to get my injection, and then I can return to the peaceful, quiet darkness of my room, the girl thought, taking a deep breath in an attempt to pacify her frustrations.

Fortunately for her, it wasn’t a long wait, only ten minutes or so before she was granted access to the treatment room, where a nurse did her injection for the third time that day.

Finally, after that whole ordeal, she was done and can now return to the ward. Stepping into her chamber and going inside, Y/N casually tossed her pills onto the bedside table. She placed her favourite mug—with funny text and a cat printed on it, given to her by her aunt on the first day of her stay in the hospital—filled with water on the nightstand beside her pills. She then sat down on the edge of the old, creaky hospital bed she was forced to sleep in. Loosening and combing through her hair, she gazed out of her handleless window, looking through the shut panel of glass to see the moon shining in contrast to the dark sky it floated in. The storm had subsided at some point, and now, a vast amount of snowflakes were gently descending towards the ground, each resembling a star as they twinkled under the moonlight, which reflected off pearly white snowdrifts that illuminated the street landscape. Imprisoned within four sterile, colourless walls, she would give anything to once again be amongst the snow, even for a mere couple of minutes.

But that wouldn’t happen. All she could do now was try to sleep, hoping that her dreams would dilute the tragic reality of her hospital days.

Picking up her mug of water and the last of the day’s medicine from the nightstand, Y/N popped two small pink pills into her mouth. Two pills of Teraligen. Two pills to allow her to finally escape her consciousness, sinking into the depths of sleep and down the rabbit hole to Wonderland.

Washing the pills down with the water, she made herself comfortable in bed, although some time remained before the medication would take effect. She’d need to find a way to pass the time, and so she reached to her bedside table for the book she had started not too long ago.

Land of the Dead, by Jean-Christophe Grange.

Y/N had an inexplicable passion for true crime stories, and while the crime in this particular book was fictional, she still enthusiastically read it before going to bed.

As a child, she had often dreamed of writing herself. She, too, wanted to tell stories; she desired to one day become a great writer, doing what she enjoyed in life. But as she grew up, she understood the impossibility of her wishes and cast her hopes away, leaving them discarded, left to decay.

With each passing year, her studies and extracurricular activities put increasing amounts of pressure on her. By age ten, her mandatory activities consumed so much of her time that she no longer remembered her desire to write. And when she was later reminded of it, she came to the bitter realization that her skills would not be enough even for a modest tale.

The young patient put aside the book that no longer interested her and succumbed to the surging memories in an attempt to sleep.

From the age of seven, her grandmother—who became her guardian after both her parents passed away—tried to make perfection out of Y/N. She was signed up for lessons in art, swimming, singing, playing the piano, dancing and acting on top of her pre-existing studies. She had strived to be the best in all her classes, performing at various school events while actively participating in other aspects of her life. She was set as an example, and she was admired.

She did not manage to withstand such a workload for very long, though. Around the time she turned eleven, her performance had deteriorated. She would seek out excuses to skip her extracurriculars, often got sick, and took up every opportunity to miss lessons at school. She repeatedly asked her grandmother to stop this and let her quit at least one of the subjects she hated. Each of her requests went unanswered.

By fifteen, the growing girl was already mortally tired of her duties. She no longer bothered to make excuses for her regular absences from class, instead openly stating that she no longer wished to attend school. She left all extracurricular activities. She constantly argued with her guardian, the two yelling at one another until she would eventually be hit.

Still, she asked her grandmother for help, expressing her inability to cope and attempting to establish a relationship despite the endless moral breakdowns. Yet the only answer she’d receive was another blossoming bruise, green, purple, and blue.

After all, perfection should have no flaws.

In the dark room, one could hardly see the young girl’s body curled up in her bed. As she remembered her life outside the confinement of the hospital, she realized that it wasn’t as much of an improvement from her current situation as she would have liked to believe. Resigning herself to her fate, she found herself finally able to relax, her head finally devoid of thoughts, her body losing its tension, and sleep finally beginning to overcome her.

Y/N found herself drifting off at a steady pace before an unintelligible sound broke the silence. Angrily growling some kind of curse under her breath, she came to the conclusion that she wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. Tired and irritated, she dragged her blanket up and over her head, trying to muffle whatever noise she would hear.

It was only then that she realized that her room was virtually empty. There were very few things that could have made a sound.

Perhaps something fell, she thought, but what in the world could it be?

Her curiosity won, so she tore the blanket off her head, abruptly sitting up in her bed, eyes darting around the room in search of the source of the noise that had stolen her chance at a long-awaited rest. Yet what she saw next, she was entirely unprepared for.

Y/N’s eyes widened, stretching impossibly large as her eyes took in the sight before her.

A tall man stood on the floor by the freshly opened window, dressed in a dark robe that fluttered ever so slightly from the breeze outside, a scythe loosely gripped in his hands. A dark navy—almost black, under the dim lighting of the room—mask covering his face, the man slowly walked towards her bed, approaching her.

She had heard it in folklore, read about it in books, and seen it in movies, but never did she think she would behold it in real life. However, she had experienced hallucinations before; more likely than not, the grim reaper was one of them. Still, she found herself wanting to interact with him, just out of curiosity, just in case.

“You came for me?” she asked, her voice calm with barely masked amusement.

The reaper stopped in his tracks, his downcast head snapping upwards to stare directly into her. The two empty abysses in his mask where his eyes would bore directly into her, giving her the feeling as if they were looking into her soul. But he didn’t say anything after that, so she tried again.

“Mr. Reaper?” she questioned, hoping the stupid hallucination that ruined her sleep would at least entertain her and reply.

To her surprise, the man finally spoke, his voice deep but quiet, barely audible, if not for the complete silence that enveloped the room.

“You can see me?”

next chapter ->

[temporalcomet]

202305 - It's been a long...

Hey it’s me, MJ!

I can’t hide the truth - I haven’t been lost in a black hole, I haven’t come unstuck in deep space, I didn’t lose my moonboots in Alpha Centuri and have to take a nightbus back there to retrieve them…

For all my space-themed gassing (is there gas in a vacuum? I’m guessing not, rather than googling it) there’s been so much going on. And that’s partially because it’s been 25 months since I checked in with you all via blog! In that time, approximately 6 stars have gone supernova and died out in our galaxy…

"The Milky Way produces stars weighing about 3 solar masses (equivalent to 3 Suns) per year. And, stars equivalent to 1 solar mass die evey year."  -- Quora

So, here’s a whistle-stop tour of the past 2 years in the half-life of Temporal Comet:

2021

As we took tentative steps out of lockdowns and away from exponential viral spread, Temporal Comet released its first single in 2 years. ‘Shine’ was well received, but we suffered from a lack of places to play, and so the song didn’t get out to as many people as we had hoped.

Our two main shows in 2021 turned out to be our last. Both were eventful… Firstly, we played in our back garden in Whitechapel E1 with friends ‘Dreampark’ one sunny evening... Our performance could apparently be heard 300 metres away at the Underground station.

In October, Temporal Comet hosted a Halloween Spooktactular in Shoreditch, supported by a few groups I came across on Instagram. The event went well, but technical problems dampened out the fun a little during the gig itself and added a few strains to the working relationship within the group.

Things then continued to take a strange turn. Before Christmas, COVID21 got into some already existing cracks in the band’s dynamic. It soon became clear that differences were irreconcilable, and drummer Hugo was asked to leave the band.

There were some musical differences too - I favoured a drier, more experimental approach to drumming, and it was clear that Hugo aimed to inject more of a ‘rock’ sensibility into the group. At this point I’m much happier with bleeps and bloops than with drum fills and stick-twiddling, but it has to be said, I’m very particular about the music I want to write and the sounds I want to hear. Being solo would give me that freedom, but first I needed a break.

2022

I saw Hugo a couple of times and we wrapped up the business accounts for Temporal Comet. I was solo again, and orbiting without a map. By the way, for astronavigation, I swear by this one:

Although some of the previous songs I recorded were still not released*, I really needed some breathing space, where I could find out again what I wanted to do with Temporal Comet.

And so, by June I had only posted about 3 things to social media, and some of you asked where I had gone. I needed to take a step back - 2021 had been difficult, even aside from the global pandemic-related issues which had taken such a toll on everyone (perhaps even the 1%…)

And then in July, my universe got turned upside down and shaken about a bit. When the dust settled, Jupiter was next to Mercury and Earth looked a little worse for wear.

Jumping back about 20 years, I was playing in a group called ‘The Astronauts’.

I had met Mark ‘Astronaut’ Wilkins in a record shop in my home town (Welwyn Garden City) and he had surreptitiously tried to sell me a Led Zeppelin bootleg. We exited the shop, and got chatting. It transpired that he was also looking for a bass player for an upcoming gig as The Astronauts at Bowes Lyon House in Stevenage. My first gig, at a venue where Jeff Buckley had played 15+ years earlier!

We supported Big Day Out and Jane Bom-Bane, and I passed the audition. I continued to play with The Astronauts for a few years, at punk hotspots such as Hobgoblin in Brighton and Chat’s Palace in London. When I left the group, it morphed into ‘The Otters’, and back again, into another version of The Astronauts.

Mark was always reinventing the band, and his music. Anyway, it was always so varied and diverse that it’s hard to imagine The Astronauts as anything more than a vehicle for the wit and creativity of Mark. I drifted away, but was left with a cosmic hang up for all my subsequent groups - I later formed To The Moon with Dennis White (one time Otters drummer) and later, when in Paris, continued the theme when helping to come up with the name Temporal Comet.

Once an Astronaut, always an Astronaut, I guess…

Spooling back to July 2022, and another lapsed friend and Astronaut, Dom, messaged me to say that Mark had lost his ongoing battle with a long-term illness.

I had lost one of my best, and longest, friendships. It felt like 2016 again, when we lost David Bowie. Mark (like Bowie) was someone who informed my teenage years and musical tastes - without him I would have a different, less compassionate social/ political view, and certainly wouldn’t have discovered half the bands I love today, from Kevin Ayers to Curved Air, from Zappa to Blur…

I have already had the opportunity to write (albeit to a word limit) about Mark, for the Other Lives series in the Guardian (UK) newspaper, but suffice it to mention that without Mark, I’d be on a different trajectory today, no doubt.

Mark’s death in July came just a few months after we’d been to see mutual favourites Van der Graaf Generator at the Palladium in London, and although it pained me to realise that my gig buddy and great friend was gone, there was at least a warm and fuzzy feeling produced when I realised that I had helped him close a loop; Mark’s first gig, which his parents took him to as a child, had been at the same venue, back in 1963!

And in a final action, Mark had nudged the trajectory of my life once again…

It had been years since I had seen most of the faces in our Welwyn music community. In the intervening years since I stopped playing bass in the Astronauts, I had moved first to London and then to Paris, France, and then back to London again. I had lost touch with so many friends (I’m notoriously bad at maintaining friendships because I have a slight self-esteem issue which gets in the way of my relationships.)

Mark’s funeral rolled around, and there, in a packed crematorium near Stevenage in Hertfordshire, were 200+ people that loved Mark and his music. Among them, the community I had lost.

As scared as I was about the prospect of catching up with my past, I wasn’t going to let the day go by without collecting a lot of contact details and promising to myself that I’d do better to stay in touch with all these amazing people, this time around.

2023 As true to my word as possible, 2023 has seen two major changes in my life…

1 - I have joined a band with one of those friends from 15 years ago. Short Rouge is comprised of Dan and Dudu (drums and bass) along with one of those lapsed friends, Lee, who was such an inspiration and great friend back in my youth. I’m playing guitar and we’re making some experimental music which sounds like a mash-up of The Residents, King Crimson, Blur, and This Heat. Not bad! Plus half of these artists are ones that Mark Astronaut introduced me to the in the first place (you see how important he was to my musical taste!)

2 - I have embarked on a project of recording some of Mark’s songs.

The Astronauts (i.e. Mark and whichever musicians he had around him at the time) must have recorded over 100 songs. Largely undiscovered, many of these tracks deserve to have a continuing (and increasing) audience. I know that other friends, such as Dom of the Otters/ Astonauts, and Wasp, vocalist and breath-taking front-person of Rites of Hadda are doing their bit, creating their own versions of Mark’s songs, and between us (and others, including groups ‘Blyth Power’ and ‘Pog’) we will make sure that Mark’s music isn’t allowed to disappear - it always deserved a larger audience than it ever got.

I have started work on 5 Astronauts’ songs, spanning Mark’s songwriting career from the late 70s to 2022. Meanwhile the remaining Astronauts are working to release the final Astronauts album, album 10, which will hopefully be ready by Mark’s birthday on 27 August this year.

I’ve got some stellar help, in the form of Lee Hague (amazing drummer from the Otters/Astronauts) as well as Wasp, and many others. I wouldn’t be able to do this project without Kostas Michaloudis for whom I’m grateful every day!

I don’t have a release date for my covers of Mark’s songs, but I’m also allergic to planning. So stay tuned!

It’s been an interesting few years, in which I’ve lost two friends but gained some great perspective - please tell me in the comments what you have missed out on, what you have enjoyed, what you’ve been most grateful for since the pandemic.

* those songs, ‘Two Sides’ and ‘Silencio’ remain unreleased. Furthermore, my distributor (company that uploads my songs to Spotify, Tidal, etc changed their business model, removing three Temporal Comet songs from streaming platforms in the process. We lost ‘Anticipation’, ‘Falling’ and ‘Rising’… but when I work out the best way to do it (without spending a lot of money and time), they will be back. If you have any recommendations for distribution, please let me know, I’ll be eternally grateful.

In the meantime, you can still play some of the songs on Bandcamp or Youtube. Thanks in advance for having a listen!

[scarlet-streak-fanfics]

HI. It's me... aha...

You know what I'm here for so I'm gonna make it short, More Sherlock and Mycroft angst but mostly on the Sherlock part, probably arguing again but this time more serious that even Ms. Hudson and John gets worried, Sherliam included (of course I mean)

I don't know maybe Sherlock gets to angry and stressed from Mycroft's pressure that he decides to go missing for a week and get some time for himself y'know.(He's gonna solve cases probably he's to energetic AND BORED to not solve cases. And probably play some violin too) He goes missing, everyone's going nuts, William getting too worried and angry that he threathens Mycroft with a knife (now we know where Louis got his tendency from Ig) Then bom Sherlock comes back. I leave the rest and the details to you but, I would like it if it's an happy ending! THANK YOU!

Hello there my new friend! We discussed the changes I wanted to make to this request, so here's part one as promised! I hope you enjoy it. This will be a three-parter darker alternative version of the fic I posted yesterday. Don't worry, there still will be a happy ending of some kind. The first 676 words are the same as yesterday's. Sorry 'bout that. I wanted to make sure this fic could stand on its own.

Trigger Warning for Drug Use, specifically Morphine, Hypodermic Needles, and mentions of Morphine

Sherlock allows his head to rest against the back of his chair, his eyes fixing on the smoke gathering at the ceiling from the cigarette perched haphazardly between his lips. He knows he should open the window—John has been trying to get him to quit ever since he moved in, and Ms. Hudson has threatened to kick him out of the flat over smoking indoors on more than one occasion. Apparently, the smell gives her a headache, and the smoke damages the ceilings and furniture; he made the mistake once of asking if the damage really mattered if he and John were the only ones who would ever live there. The rise in rent the following month was enough to keep Sherlock from pushing the landlady’s buttons for a good while. Still, he can’t bring himself to care about anything besides tuning out his older brother’s scoldings. Mycroft had stopped by for his weekly attempt at making Sherlock find more steady work and actually make something of himself besides a drug-addict “consulting detective”. He can hear Mycroft pacing the apartment as he continues his lecture, “It’s all well and good right now—your Lord of Crime is keeping you in enough work to pay rent. However, once he’s caught or slinks off into the shadows as criminals are oft to do, you’ll be out of a job. If Mother were still alive—”

“She’d be bloody disappointed at the failure she gave birth to.” Sherlock finishes bitterly, removing the cigarette from his lips and holding it between two fingers as he releases the smoke from his lungs. The older Holmes brother stops, all his attention focusing on Sherlock. “That’s not what I was going to say and you know that.”

“It’s what you meant, innit?” Sherlock stands up, stepping behind his chair to open the window and turning his back to his brother. He leans on the windowsill, tapping the ash from his cigarette to the streets below. “Ma always wanted us to be something more. That’s what all the fancy schoolin’ was for, right, Myc? Why you talk all posh and rub elbows with the nobility.”

“Yes, but I don’t expect that from you because I know that we are not the same person. However, that doesn’t mean you lack the potential for your own greatness. You have a brilliant mind, Sherly, and you’re squandering it.”

“Unlike you, pushin’ papers all day as the Queen’s lapdog.” Sherlock’s sarcasm is not lost on Mycroft—he finds himself being spun to face his older brother, cigarette falling from his fingers to the street below. “You know just as well as I do that one of us had to continue repaying the debt of our family—I took that burden so you could find a path of your own and this is what you’ve done with it!”

“I don’t recall askin’ you to make that sacrifice for me.” Sherlock looks his brother in the eyes, face and voice the picture of defiance. Mycroft studies him for a moment before letting the hand he’d used to turn Sherlock drop back to his side, a huff of defeat leaving him. “Just think about it, Sherly. I know you’re better than this.”

Sherlock doesn’t try to stop his brother as Mycroft departs from the apartment. He doesn’t bother to close the door after him, leaving it slightly ajar as he returns to the window and fishes a fresh cigarette and his lighter out of his pocket. Usually, he’d already be on his way to the nearest bar, but it’s barely sunset. John made him promise after one too many mornings where Sherlock stumbled in hungover, bloody, and bruised from whatever nonsense he’d gotten into the night before that he’d tell John when he was going out, what bar he was going to, and when he intended to be back so the doctor could retrieve him if necessary. He understood this rule in principle, but it was particularly frustrating on evenings when John was out with his fiancée Mary and wouldn’t be back until much later.

However, Sherlock reasons to himself as his right hand flexes unconsciously, that rule does only apply to bars. Sure, John had discouraged the habit, but he’d never outright told him no. If he’s quick about it, his roommate might not even know he’s gone. It takes him a moment to find the sterilized kit that he keeps for such occasion–it’s tucked away in a cabinet after months of no use. 

Sherlock throws on his coat, checking the pocket to make sure he didn’t leave his wallet somewhere else. After all, he can’t really ask Ms. Hudson to help him find his wallet so he can pay for one of the vices that upsets her the most. Once satisfied that he’ll have the money for his outing, the detective creeps down the stairs, the paranoia at altering his beloved landlady to his departure causing him to act like a teenager sneaking out past curfew.

It’s been a while since he indulged in opioids, or really anything beyond a few drinks or cigarettes. If he had to guess, it was the arrival of a certain mathematician into his life that allowed him to break the habit. William had challenged him, giving him an unpredictable variable in the monotony that was his life, and he’d never wanted to miss a chance to enjoy that variable just because he was high. He immediately pushes that train of thought aside as something in his heart starts to ache. William was still teaching Durham and most likely wouldn’t return to the city until the weekend–no need to hold himself back for Liam’s sake.

As he gets closer and closer to his destination, an opium den hidden away in the slums that he’s certain Mycroft is unaware of, Sherlock fights to repress his doubts about this decision. He can almost see John’s disappointed face or William’s contempt, but the idea of annoying his older brother by leaning into the part of a drug addict keeps him going. Still, he can’t stop the roiling shame in his stomach as he purchases the morphine, waving away the offer of needles as he makes his way to the back of the dilapidated den. 

John would kill him if he used anything besides sanitized hypodermic needles, especially since the ones offered by the dealer had most likely been used already. The flood of guilt that comes with that thought is almost enough to make him disregard that rule. He tucks himself away into a dark corner, removing his coat and laying it over his shoulders to act as a visual block. He wants to irritate Mycroft, not cause a scandal when the younger brother of the director of London’s Military Department is revealed to be an opioid addict. Once again, he pushes those thoughts aside, ignoring the dull pain in his chest and prickling, hot feeling in his eyes.

Sherlock is strangely numb as he measures out a safe dose of the liquid into his needle and rolls up the sleeve of his white shirt. Something feels final about this moment. Even though he’s done this action dozens of times before, he’s certain that there’s no coming back from this decision. Unfortunately, that’s not enough to stop him from pushing the needle into his arm with practiced precision, gritting his teeth at the familiar pain. 

As he pulls his jacket fully over his head, the sickeningly sweet smell of opium smoke filling his lungs, Sherlock tries to force himself to relax. He knows this’ll be much less pleasant if he fights the drugs now coursing through his system–he just has to keep his anxieties at bay for a few more minutes.

He can’t quite tell when the morphine starts to kick in. However, the familiar warmth of euphoria soon floods his senses, and his muscles start to relax as he leans back against the wall. As his eyelids flutter shut to hide dialating pupils and his breathing slows, Sherlock decides that maybe he can stay here a little longer than he intended to.

[paradoxolotl]

Are there any quotes or moments from any of your fics that you've had to leave out of the final product? Like, deleted scenes. If so, do you feel like sharing?...(Particularly Inked Truths because I'm obsessed with it. I fell in love with BoM, read it multiple times. When I found out you were doing a prequel I was very excited and have not been disappointed since.) (I also love TftR but it makes sad.)...Absolutely no pressure. If you don't want to answer please just ignore this, I'll understand.

Truths for the Roof didn’t lose anything but Inked lost a bit. Really, it was just redone to flow better and fit the characterization better, or moved somewhere later on in the series. I’m more likely to add then take away. It’s pretty rare I scrap something completely, and usually find somewhere else to put it, even if it’s a different fic. But originally BOM was very different. Andrew was medicated and Aaron knew Neil Josten from class.

Here’s a scene that was reworked in Ink Blotted Memories ~

Aaron did his best to avoid Andrew after that. He made himself busy at work, hauling dishes back and forth and hanging out with the bouncers on his breaks. When they were home Andrew was usually shut up in his room or outside smoking which made avoiding him all the easier, giving Aaron space to dick around on the TV or be in his room. Nicky still tried to involve both of them in stupid bonding activities like family dinners and movie nights. When they did happen, it was tense and uncomfortable, mostly filled with Nicky’s inane chatter. Aaron purposely did not look at his brother on these nights. He was torn between wanting Andrew’s acknowledgment and wishing he had never found out about him.

He marked his days with video games and his nights with alcohol and cracker dust, counting the days until he could once again use school as a distraction.

And the entire original Brother of Mine, which I rewrote most of when I got partway through ~

Aaron could still remember lying in his bed in his mother’s house, body bruised and hurting, wishing to have someone who could help him. Someone to make things better. To stand with him and hold him up when he was so close to crumbling. Learning about a long-lost twin felt like something out of a movie. An answered prayer. Finally, Aaron would have someone, a brother, who he could talk to. He imagined late night talks and secrets shared between them. They would have a bond so strong that nothing could come between them.

Andrew’s response of ‘fuck off’ had felt like a back-hand across his face.

Still, he held out hope. He was told to try again in the Spring, and that was what he planned on doing. Even when Andrew was sent to juvie, Aaron held onto his hope of a brother who would care about him. They were twins after all, how hard could it be?

The first time he had met Andrew face to face, Uncle Luther beside him and a metal table separating them, Aaron’s idea of what their relationship would be went up in smoke. His face was looking back at him, but there was no expression, no emotion at all. A blankness that revealed nothing of what he was thinking. It was hard to make eye contact with Andrew, his eyes sharp enough to be cut on. Andrew didn’t speak to Aaron at all that first visit; he just stared at him with a flat glare the entire time.

And yet he still came to South Carolina to live with Aaron. Aaron desperately wanted for Andrew to open up to him when they lived together. He thought he had to, now that they shared a room. He also hoped that home would get better, now that Andrew was home. Maybe mom would get better, would stop being so stressed. So angry.

It only took one incident for Aaron to believe Andrew was untouchable. They were in the backyard so Andrew could smoke, both sipping from a bottle of vodka Andrew had acquired. He had only moved in a week ago, and so far, things had been quiet. Aaron had no new bruises, but Andrew’s blank stare made him warry. The slam of the front door had made Aaron flinch, Andrew’s cold eyes tracking the movement. Aaron could hear their mother calling for him, her words tight with anger. Remembering the pills he had swiped earlier in the day, he swallowed back the lump in his throat and went inside.

He remembers her screaming. He remembers the pain of a hand across his cheek. Then there was Andrew, her wrist gripped in his hand, twisted far enough to make her bend at an awkward angle. It was then that Aaron saw the first expression on his twin’s face, and it terrified him. His lips had curled back in a snarl, his eyes bright with an anger Aaron had never seen before.

It was that night that Andrew had offered Aaron a deal. They would stick together, just the two of them, and Andrew would protect him. Aaron believed this was the answer to what he had been asking for. Finally, he wouldn’t be alone. He made his promise to Andrew.

Months passed, and Aaron was still collecting bruises. It was almost worse now, to have a witness to his suffering. Someone who had promised him protection but couldn’t stop everything.

Then, the accident where Aaron was left with only Andrew. Just the two of them.

The funeral where Andrew’s arm was in a sling, a cigarette hanging from his mouth, and a strange gleam in his eye as the dirt was poured on their mother’s grave.

Nicky coming back from Germany, taking them in.

Moving into a new house and Andrew installing a lock on his door.

The agony of being locked in that bathroom, withdrawal clawing his body to shreds.

The slow isolation at school, Andrew refusing to let anyone close.

Nicky’s assault and the mandated therapy.

That awful laughter and empty smile.

And Aaron had to wonder if instead of his prayers being answered, he had been cursed.

~~~

Things began changing the spring of their freshman year of college.

When they first joined the Foxes, there was a clear divide between Aaron’s family and the others immediately. Any interactions ended in spitting insults at best and violence more than not. The others feared Andrew and his knives, circling their group like alley cats. Not that the three of them were much better. Nicky constantly antagonized the others, and the twins’ general lack of effort to get along definitely rubbed a few people the wrong way. The Columbia trips solidified their isolation from the others. Honestly, Aaron couldn’t care less about getting along with his teammates. He would leave them alone as long as they did the same. He was here for a degree, not friends.

Now, they had officially been knocked out of the championships. Not that Aaron could bring himself to care, but games days usually also meant Columbia, and Aaron desperately wanted to get off campus. Between the upperclassmen, Day’s bitching over the season and Nicky’s whining, Aaron was looking forward to drinks, crackers, and music loud enough to lose yourself in.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t go without Andrew. His twin was currently perched on his desk by the window, smoking and staring out at the campus, fingers rapidly tapping. Normally they would already be packed up and gone by now, but they hadn’t gone once in over a month. At first Aaron thought it was because of exy, but then Andrew would disappear from the dorms for hours at a time, much to Day’s frustration. The only reason Aaron even noticed this as odd was because his brother rarely left Day alone. He never told them why they stopped going, or where he disappeared to, and any complaints fell on deaf ears.

“Come on Andrew!” Nicky whined, “We never go to Columbia anymore!”

Andrew’s laughter made Aaron’s jaw tick. “Oh, poor Nicky, don’t you know that no means no?”

“But why not?” Nicky was still going.

Aaron didn’t know why Nicky thought he could reason with Andrew. Unless you were Renee the best result from interacting with him would be victim to a cutting insult or dismissal. Worst case you’d need stitches.

His phone buzzing in his hand distracted him from the conversation happening. Looking at the screen, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, soothing the tension in his shoulders.

Katelyn

You played great today! It’s too bad the season is over

Katelyn was an instant balm to Aaron’s anger. It was still new, this thing between them. They had met in their intro biology class and had spent many late hours at the library studying. She had been the first person at Palmetto who had bothered to get to know Aaron for him, not just as ‘Andrew’s twin’. At first, he was a sullen asshole, but her endless patience and positivity snuck past his defenses and made a place for her in Aaron’s very bones. The only issue was they had to sneak around; Aaron couldn’t risk Andrew finding out about her.

Glancing up to make sure Andrew was still distracted with Nicky, Aaron settled further into his beanbag.

Aaron

Whatever it’s just stickball

Katelyn

Still, I’ll miss watching you ;)

Aaron had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the smile off his face.

Katelyn

How’s Columbia?

Aaron

Wouldn’t know we’re still in the Tower

Katelyn

Think you could sneak out for a bit?

We’re in that bar with the turtle

Nicky’s yelp brought Aaron’s attention back to the room in front of him. Andrew was still on the desk, but Aaron caught the glint of metal as a knife was put back in one of his armbands. His eyes followed Nicky as he retreated to the bedroom, face split in his usual grin. When the door closed behind Nicky, Andrew’s eyes snapped to Aaron, pinning him to his spot. Aaron glared back, daring Andrew to say something to him. To say anything.

Instead, Andrew flicked his cigarette out the window, slammed in shut, and left the dorm completely. Aaron wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not.

He sat there for a moment, fingers tapping on his phone. If this was going to be following his typical pattern over the past few weeks, Andrew would be gone for hours, and wouldn’t notice if Aaron left. He would just need to be back before Andrew. Really, it wasn’t that hard of a decision.

Aaron

Be there in twenty.

Katelyn

<3

Grabbing his jacket, Aaron hurried out of the dorm, eager to get away. Even if it wasn’t Columbia, even if it was with the Vixens, any time with Katelyn was worth it.

Aaron didn’t look up as he left the Tower. If he did, he might have seen a heavy stare and two lit cigarettes.

~~~

Summer came, and somehow Betsy had convinced the courts to change Andrew’s medication. Something about an incorrect diagnosis or dosage. Aaron wasn’t sure how they thought an Andrew off the pills would be any better, but no one asked him for his opinion.

The upside was that Aaron had weeks free of his oppressive twin, and he could spend as much time with Katelyn as he wanted. It was the first time in years Aaron felt like there was no weight pulling him down, like he could finally breathe.

It was in those few perfect weeks that Aaron came to a decision.

He couldn’t lose this.

~~~

Andrew had come back from Easthaven reverted back to the emptiness of when Aaron had first met him. He had barely said a word to anyone since he came back, simply leveling that bored glare at them whenever someone tried to speak to him. Whenever Aaron saw him, he was fiddling on that damn flip phone, barely acknowledging his surroundings. Even the upperclassmen had noticed his attachment to the device.

It was during a meeting before the first game of the new season that someone finally snapped.

“Damn it, Andrew, what are you doing?” When Kevin got really angry, his face flushed. Right now, he was approaching tomato.

Andrew snapped his phone shut, “Nothing.”

“Bullshit, you need to focus. Our first game is tomorrow, and we are nowhere near ready.”

“Maybe,” Andrew drawled, “instead of worrying about me, you should focus on what you’ll do when you see Riko again.”

It was a low blow, but effective. Kevin immediately fell silent, his skin changing from red to white so quickly Aaron was surprised he didn’t faint. Edgar Allen had joined their district after Kevin announced that he would be joining the Fox line-up. Last year Kevin had showed up, hand bloody and broken, looking for sanctuary. Apparently, Riko had broken his hand in a fit of rage. Kevin had tried to sue, but with the connections and money behind the Moriyama name, it was ruled as an accident. The public backlash of that along with Kevin’s transfer to the Foxes had caused several headaches last year.

“Jesus, Andrew,” Nicky whispered.

Andrew opened his phone again. No one else tried to speak to him for the rest of the meeting.

~~~

It was a new bet among the Foxes: what Andrew was doing on his phone. Everyone agreed that it was pretty clear he was texting someone, but the question was who. Some believed it was a secret girlfriend, while others were still convinced Renee and Andrew were together. Others thought it had to be something illegal.

Aaron knew what he thought, and he silently watched and cataloged information away.

~~~

The season was going terribly. They were winning games by the skin of their teeth and they were more divided than ever. Seth and Kevin couldn’t stop fighting, their newest striker was a nervous wreck, and Andrew didn’t give a shit.

Their last game was against the Ravens, and they had been destroyed. Now, Wymack and Dan were looking for a win.

They were in the locker room getting ready for the game when Andrew’s phone began to ring. Aaron didn’t recognize the song Andrew used, but he knew he normally used the default setting for his ringtone. Andrew picked up before Aaron could think too much on it.

“What?”

At this point everyone was staring at him, not even trying to act like they weren’t eavesdropping.

Andrew scoffed, “Junkie,” he said before snapping his phone shut, tossing it into his locker, and slamming it door closed. A moment later he was stalking out of the locker room.

Silence was left behind in his wake until Nicky broke it, “So it isn’t a girlfriend?”

When the team was gathered again (...missing...)

~~~

(...missing...)Today though, Aaron needed to talk to him.

The chances of Andrew brushing off any attempt Aaron made to speak to him were high, so Aaron waited until Andrew would have to acknowledge him. On Wednesday, when Andrew walked into Reddin, Aaron was waiting for him.

~~~

“Fuck off,” Aaron growled.

Josten had that stupid smirk on his face, his finger tapping on his test score. It wasn’t even that Aaron did bad. It was that Josten did better. He always did better in this stupid class. Aaron hated statistics, but apparently Josten was a math major and took every opportunity to show him up.

From day one Aaron had disliked him. He had plopped down beside Aaron, ratty clothes and shaggy hair, and called him ‘the second Minyard’. Not only was he a complete ass, but he was completely unnerving. His eyes were a blue so pale they were almost glacial, and his face and arms were covered in slashes and burn scars.

Once, Aaron had overheard someone call him ‘Scarface’, and Josten had just asked, with a terrifying grin, if they were looking for some to match.

And Aaron was stuck in a room with him twice a week.

Josten tsked at him, still tapping at his score. “What? Still second?”

“Fuck off,” Aaron really wasn’t in the mood.

He just hummed, pulling his phone out, a god damn flip phone, and spent the next few minutes ignoring the review happening. Aaron could barely focus as Josten texted away; each click grating on Aaron’s already frayed nerves.

Aaron wasn’t even sure how Josten did so well; he spent most of the class doodling in his notebook.

[bigpandahero]

The legacy of appetence（the translation of 欲望遗产 from Lofter written by 此人已死）

Original link：https://ryuusuke.lofter.com/post/1cc28a98_1cb209a44

Original author：此人已死（from lofter）

Home link：https://ryuusuke.lofter.com/

Authorized reprint translation.

thank to @ask-ivanbraginsky for your help!

chapter1:

July 20, 2017

The culprit

 July 20, 2017

 Potato .beef. onion.

 Every time he took something off the shelf, Wang Yao would cross out a word on the list. He looked for discounted goods in various barcodes, a pen and paper in hand. He pushed his shopping cart as he walked around the supermarket. Until seeing the last thing on the list, wine.

 Wang Yao went out to a supermarket very rarely.This time he went out because the refrigerator was empty, like his brain. He entered, throwing a coin and heard a Do re mi.

 He walked to the shelf picking out a 700ml bottle of vodka and checked the price, cautious as a housewife, he finally chose the 50ml "baby bottle" next to him. 

The checkout cashier was chewing bubble gum. They looked at him with disdain, a look that Wang YAO was accustomed to. This kind of look had been haunting him since he became an adult. 

He looked down at the gray tracksuit he was wearing, and his plush slippers of the Sesame Street cartoon character. He looked like a hapless boy with a drunkard father. 

He swept the colorful over-packaged goods into a sturdy plastic shopping bag—a blue squirrel logo was printed on it, its face squeezed out of shape by a box of cereal.

 What kind of perversion will paint the squirrel blue.

 Wang Yao heard the cashier from behind turn his head and whisper something to his colleague. He carried the plastic bag and walked out of the automatic door blankly. The toy monkeys on both sides shouted "Welcome".

 He walked home, passing by an open park. There were a few young people playing baseball on the lawn. He sat on the promenade smoking a cigarette and unscrewed a bottle of ice sprite. He drank down half the bottle in one breath, then allowed the carbon dioxide to tumble in his stomach for a while. 

He took out the wine bottle that he struggled to find from the plastic bag, imagined that the small metal bottle cap was the heavenly spirit cap of some heinous person, opened it with his teeth in a crisp "bom" and poured it in happily. His body began to get hot, sweating from his back in the 28-degree weather. The polyester cloth stuck to the skin, uncomfortably. He threw his leg anxiously-in the season when others were wearing short-sleeved T-shirts, he was still wearing long-sleeved trousers. In times like this he thought of the Russian, and began to scold him furiously in his mind. He silently cursed, mouthing the words that went along with his thoughts. He was suddenly interrupted, he snapping back to reality. "Hey! Damn gay! Help us pick up the ball!”

everal young people gathered together maliciously and whispered. They made nasty gestures and sneered unscrupulously in Wang Yao's direction. 

Fuck.

 He pressed the cigarette butt on the bench, swept away the soot from his thigh and raised his butt, bending over to pick up the baseball on the grass. He threw it at the crowd fiercely, then made a more wretched gesture. 

My paramour could screw all your fucking “balls” off.

 Wang Yao shook the plastic bottle in his hand and heard the remaining liquid hit the wall of the bottle with a hollow echo.

 He finally took the plastic bag and went on his way, stopping to place the wine bottle down by a homeless man who laid lifeless on the side of the road against the wall.

 He returned to the white-roofed house and passed by the neighbor's beautiful fence with a few swaggering violets planted in it. He inadvertently looked inside, and happened to meet the eyes of the Labrador. Even though he had moved in a month ago and had returned his flying disk a dozen times, the dog still didn't recognize him, damn it. 

While the dog annoyingly barked, he glanced at the empty mailbox, then, as timid as a thief, he unscrew the door handle of his home. 

The person inside the door was standing by the shoe cabinet. They smiled, watching him with a pair of indifferent purple eyes exposed under ash-gold hair.

"You came back early." Wang Yao greeted dryly. "There is nothing I need to do today.  You didn't tell me you would go out—you went out again in slippers?" Wang Yao threw the key under the nose of the man who was nagging like a woman, and sat on the steps to change shoes .

the key has a key chain of panda holding a bamboo hanging on . It hurt the man's face. Wang Yao was very gloating, even though this man named Ivan Braginsky was his lover.

The keychain was the first and last time they went to the amusement park together and won with a gun. To be precise, Wang Yao won with a gun himself.

Because Ivan doesn’t have a good temper to wait for him, but Wang Yao is as stubborn as a cow.He seems to be possessed by a demon and must win the key chain.

In the end, he took the key chain from the boss who were smile flatteringly for $25 in front of the game booth which  you would cost 2.50 dollars each time on shooting. Wang Yao believes that the main reason for the inaccuracy of shooting was the sexual harassment of him by Ivan during this period. Ivan—Standing upright and stomping his feet impatiently, like a dishonest vibrator, he patted Wang Yao's ass and yelled in his ear: "You fucking under the noses of these men pouched and played with a toy gun for more than half an hour, just for a piece of junk plastic!"

Of course, no one was able to help Wang Yao in the end. He was thrown into the toilet cubicle by the Russian man by the collar. It is estimated that all the men who went to the amusement park to go to the toilet that day could hear him being fucked. Now he still could memorize the smell of air freshener choking in his throat as long as he saw the panda.

Ivan turned a blind eye to Wang Yao's innocuous violence. He always indulges him in all the trivial things, and people who are not familiar with him would think that he is a good gentleman.

Ivan is being troubled by something more important-a headache gnaws at his brain like a devil, and his alcohol addiction has blurred his consciousness. He lifted the plastic bag on the ground and pressed it against the wall to hold himself who was about to fall. It took a while, and then he stood up straight again. At first, his steps were still a little staggering, but soon, he began a brisk pace, walked to the refrigerator, hummed a few unexplained Russian, twisted the refrigerator in the shape of the Eiffel Tower before opening the refrigerator door. He snorted impatiently, and tossed the food into the cold storage as before.

"You forgot to throw away the paper notes."

Wang Yao followed him to the living room, listening to unfamiliar Russian in his ears, slowly translating it into English in his head, and lightly taking a glass of tap water for himself.

"So, where's the wine?"

Wang Yao put down the glass, and the bottom of the glass touched the marble table ,letting out a crisp sigh. He stared at the swirling vortex in the cup, cold sweat was oozing clearly on his forehead, but his bones creaked in excitement. Before exhaling a breath in his chest, he answered the question from the person behind him in Russian: "I have drunk it all”.

All the words he didn't have time to say were stuffed back into his throat by the strong, opaque plastic bag with the blue squirrel on it. Ivan's forearm muscles bulged, like the thighs of a carnivore running. He tightened the mouth of the plastic bag, twisted the other's fragile neck, and dragged Wang Yao's struggling body up the stairs.

The process was extremely unsatisfactory and annoying, and the alcohol addiction made him more irritable, so he pressed Wang Yao's head and slammed twice on the newly laid pine-green wallpaper. The plastic stopped the splashing blood and the blood turned into a dark shadow on the back of the blue squirrel. Wang Yao who was rebelling was like a kitten in a bag, weak and vulnerable.

Wang Yao was thrown on the soft bed. A thick tape was wrapped around his mouth with a plastic bag to seal the last oxygen. He tried to break it with his fingers, but it was useless.

His hands were grabbed by Ivan, and he couldn't see anything. He just guessed from this strength that Ivan’s knees were pressing on his arms. It was very painful and heavy, and even the thought of resisting was blocked. Pressed under the body. Wang Yao gradually calmed down and even breathed regularly. The sound around him fluctuated in the dark with his breathing. The sound of fine plastic fragments no longer pierced the ears, but turned into a regular pulse. His head was soaked in carbon dioxide, warm and damp, squeezed in a narrow film, he looked at the only light circle in the dimness-the hands tore the uterus, holding the weak head, playing with the balance of life and death.

He finished his dying ejaculation at the end of suffocation.

Ivan helped Wang Yao get rid of the tape that bound him on his head. The tape tore off a few long black hairs, connecting to the coagulated blood entangled in the hair. He took off Wang Yao's clothes, revealing his familiar and obsessed body.

The setting sun flicked through Wang Yao's eyes, reflecting the golden light of bronze.The black hair scattered beside the beautiful face, constituting the most mysterious color in the oil painting, blurring the limitation of gender. The naked body was covered with old scars and fresh bruises, wounds which were cracking and the redness that was swollen. The body was still beautiful, graceful and weak.The bloody scars made him show the power of life, making him no longer a flawless corpse.

Those scars were incomplete by Ivan, but he still deserved to be the culprit, although most of the time Wang Yao had to take the responsibility. Yao liked enraged him, teasing him, and sometimes even gave that handsome face to two resounding slap. Even if he knew that Ivan was insane, he would still deliberately drink up the wine at home, hiding it, observing the person in front of him turn into another devil who would chase his butt to strangle him.After waking up, decorate all with a terrible sex until dawn.

“Stepan? "

"Damn it, don't call his name in front of me."

"It hurts a bit.”

Wang Yao stretched out his thin arms to block his lover's head, kissing his soft and warm lips, counting the fluffy golden eyelashes, and exhaled a few silly love words in his blended breath.

He took the initiative to open his legs to cater to the opponent's hot desire, the erect penis had already oozes transparent liquid, squeezing into his soft and moist flesh cavity.

Wang Yao cocked his hips, his legs were like two gluttonous pythons, tied tightly to Ivan's waist. His body shook with the opponent's movements, his nails sinking into the tight muscles, and he scratched red marks on the wide back.

 He uttered a few high-pitched obscene words under the man, and was sobbed by the top of his penis, then he could no longer speak a complete word.

 Ivan's hand passed through Wang Yao's hair and kissed his favorite eyebrows and narrow neck. His five fingers hooked the other's lovely fingers, palms pressing against each other, and the vent of lust was more delicate than the girl's mind.

Car lights flashed outside the window, and a few beams of moonlight leaked in. The silver rings on the two ring fingers complemented each other in the dimly lit room, calling for each other.

 After exhausting sex, they slept with each other like two sleepy beasts.

 It was early the next morning when Wang Yao opened his eyes again, and the alarm clock on the bedside stopped at number five. The people around him slept quietly in the dark, their sturdy bodies undulating with their breathing. Even in his sleep, this person's body was shrouded in a heavy sense of oppression, like a huge animal.

“I want to change the bed. "

 Wang Yao stared at the mosquitoes on the ceiling intently. "This bed is yelling like a dead pig."

 After waiting for a long time, no one responded to him, and he felt a little bad. Although he had predicted the result, he still had illusions and was rather self-deceiving and tragic.

 He ignored the pain everywhere in his body, got up abruptly, grabbed the gray-golden hair.He picked up the heavy head from the soft pillow, and forced the purple eyes to look at him.

Then he heard a clear bark rolling out of the man's throat.

 Fuck.

Discloseable information:Both Wang Yao and Ivan are American citizens.

Yao has a bad temper, so Ivan can bear it if he can bear it.

Ivan is a patient with multiple personality disorders.

The first personality is Stepan, who usually only appears after being addicted to alcohol and drunk, so it appears for a short time. It is a personality with no emotions and absolute violence. He does not love Wang Yao, and he does not love anyone. He only speaks Russian, will conceal his spasms with his fists, and has a very serious obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The second personality is a dog. His name is "Los", which means "frogfish" in Russian. Only appears out of guilty after Stepan caused irreparable pain to the loved one , so the frequency of appearance is extremely low. It means that Ivan has few guilty, because the master character is not a good guy either.Ivan and Stepan hate each other, so they don't communicate with each other, and they don't share memories.

------------------------tbc.-----------------

[modern-inheritance]

Modern Inheritance: Look at my Son (Pre-Eragon)

Brom hunched his shoulders against the gust of snow flurries that tugged at his clothes as his horse clopped tiredly along. He knew he was getting close, could still feel the tiny threads of Selena’s energy leading to the small farm on the edge of Carvahall.

His stomach churned. Not only because he was hungry, but because he didn’t know what he was going to find when he reached his destination. Had the healers observations and Brom’s own hypothesis correct? He didn’t know if he wanted to be right or if he wanted to be wrong.

The Rider pulled his horse to a stop at the small house his spells were leading him to.

It wasn’t anything fancy. A simple homestead with a single story, a paddock next to the side porch. Brom could see a small patch of empty farmland behind the paddock, stubbled with the remains cut, dead stalks of grains poking up through the light layer of snow.

It looked like a home for a family.

Sighing, Brom leaned his forearms on the saddle’s pommel and examined the home, looking for some excuse to enter. He found a reason in one of the two work horses, a muscled bay, that had a pronounced limp.

Moments later found him knocking on the front door. His heart thumped in his chest. He had to play this along for a little while, then he could have the truth.

At the third knock a thin man opened the door. He looked at Brom with intense, dark eyes, then cocked an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

Brom cleared his throat. “Ah, well, not to intrude, sir. I was passing by and saw that one of your horses has a quite a limp. Didn’t know if you were aware, and I just…”

The man sighed tiredly. “Yeah, I’m aware. Thank you.” He leaned out to look over at the bay as it lapped water from a trough. “Poor girl. I don’t have the money to replace her, but I don’t have the money to get her looked at either. I’ve been resting her since winter started, but nothing seems to work.”

“I might be able to help, if you don’t mind me working with her a bit.” Brom gestured to his own steed. “I’m a bit of a traveling storyteller, but I’ve picked up quite a few tricks for healing, especially where horses are involved. Can’t get anywhere with a lame animal.” He offered his hand. “My name is Brom.”

Out of instinct the other man shook his hand. “Garrow.” Then he paused. “I appreciate your offer, but as I said, we don’t have much money, and I’m not the sort of person to accept–”

Brom cut him off. “If you insist on paying me, I’d appreciate a hot meal and a porch to sleep on for the night.” He chuckled roughly. “I’m having a bit of money trouble myself. Don’t think I have enough for a room in town.”

Garrow rubbed his chin, obviously thinking it over. For a moment Brom was worried he would refuse again, but then a woman’s voice called from within the house, coming closer with each word. “Honey? Who is it?”

A woman appeared behind Garrow. Brom’s heart leapt to his throat when he saw a child balanced on her hip, but then he came to his senses. The boy was much too big to have been born in the last few months.

“This gentleman–Brom, was it?–Brom was offering to take a look at old Betty for us.”

“And you were going on about not accepting charity, weren’t you? Garrow, you are not going to let this opportunity slide after all the complaining you’ve done about Betty being lame. Let the poor man in!” She swatted her husband on the shoulder good naturedly. “I already heard his offer to trade. Brom, you are welcome to stay for dinner and sleep in our guest room if you can help our horse.”

Garrow chewed his lip for a moment as the woman went back into the house, the toddler on her hip staring back at the stranger at his door with wide gray eyes. “Fine, fine. You can let your horse into the paddock to feed. I’ll get my coat.”

~~~

With magic on his side, the horse’s leg was easy to fix.

To keep impressions up, Brom took to murmuring to the pained animal in the Ancient Language, weaving in his spells subtly as he checked each leg and gently manipulated muscle and bone. Garrow would occasionally ask how he was doing certain exercises, but mostly kept to himself, leanly corded arms wrapped in a well worn jacket and crossed on his thin chest.

After two hours of working with the horse, Brom managed to get Betty to put her full weight on her previously injured limb.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Garrow grunted. “You must be some kind of miracle worker.”

Brom brushed his hands off and gave the bay a pat on her thick shoulder. “No, no. Just had many years of experience. She’ll still need rest until it’s fully healed. I wouldn’t have her pulling anything until spring. These types of injuries can get worse and have a nasty habit of popping up again if pushed too early.” The farmer nodded, assuring the stranger that he would take his advice, and then, finally, invited Brom into his home.

~~~ “Marian!” Garrow called, hanging his coat on the rack beside the door. Instead of his wife, the child from before came tottering out of what Brom assumed was the kitchen. “Hey, big guy! Where’s your mommy, huh?” In one fell swoop, Garrow crouched down and lifted the little boy up into his arms.

The child giggled, reaching out for his father’s head with grasping fingers. Garrow humored him, letting him tug at his ears, as Brom followed the man’s example of hanging his coat. As if suddenly noticing the newcomer, the boy let go of Garrow’s ears and leaned over his shoulder, pointing with an exclamation of childish surprise. “Ah, right. Roran, this man here is Brom. He helped the horse get better.” Garrow looked back. “This is Roran, our son.”

Brom awkwardly waved. “Hello, Roran.”

Roran waved back vigorously. “‘Aye Bom!”

“I’m in the kitchen!” Marian appeared in the doorway that Roran had come through, wiping her hands on her checkered waist apron. Her dark hair was tied up in a loose bun. “Supper will be ready in another hour or two. How did it go?”

“Brom here has magic hands, honey.” Garrow set Roran down, letting him toddle off, and clapped Brom on the shoulder. “Betty will actually walk on her leg now.”

Marian flashed Brom a warm smile. “That’s wonderful! Thank you so much, Brom. Please, have a seat! I’ll get some tea for you both to warm up.”

Garrow led the other man to the living room and offered him a seat in a worn armchair. “I know it’s not exactly the cleanest place in the world, but it’s home.” Garrow apologized, hastily moving blocks, a baby’s play mat, and various toys away with his feet. “We had an unexpected new addition to the family a little while ago. Hard keeping up with two little ones.”

Brom’s heart skipped a beat as he accepted the offered chair. “Congratulations. Two children are quite a blessing.”

Garrow chuckled slightly as he sat across from him on the couch. “Ah, well. He’s not ours, really. He’s my sister’s boy, but she had to leave him with us. We love him as our own, though.”

A boy!

He had a son!

“That’s incredibly kind of you.”

Suddenly, a soft cry came from a room further in the house.

The farmer stood. “There he is. Excuse me.”

Brom nearly choked as Garrow disappeared down the hall. He had a son! A little boy! His heart bashed against his ribs as he realized that Garrow was likely going to return with the baby. He was about to see his son for the first time and he was the only person in the world who knew it. He braced his elbows on his knees, trying to calm himself.

Dear Gods, he had never been good with children. They were small, generally talked or cried a lot, stank, and were prone to all kinds of trouble. He never knew what way he was supposed to hold them, especially babies, and when they weren’t able to talk he was secretly terrified of not being able to help them or give them what they wanted.

Would he be able to handle even seeing the boy? What if he had to hold him? Stars above, he wanted to hold him, but at the same time what if he broke him? What if–

“Here’s the little man.” Brom started when Garrow spoke, gaze shooting up to see the farmer settling back onto the couch with a squirming bundle in his arms. “Sorry about the crying. It’s all they seem to do at this age.”

Brom cleared his throat, trying to fight past the lump he felt forming. He couldn’t see past the blankets. “No, it’s fine.”

Garrow gently bounced the child in his lanky arms, trying to soothe him. “Have any of your own?”

The question struck hard. “Ah, no. I’ve helped care for a few while traveling with troupes though.” Tentatively, as if he might be breaking some unspoken rule, Brom stood and approached the couch. “May I see him?”

“Yeah, yeah, sit. Shh shh shh, it’s okay, Unkie Garrow’s here.” Brom took the spot next to Garrow as gently as he could, his mind blocking out even the crying. He still couldn’t see him.

“Roran, what have you go– GARROW!” Marian’s flustered voice suddenly cut through the din. “Garrow, Roran got into your tools again and is about to smash a window with that silly hammer! My hands are full!”

“Shoot! Not again!” Garrow looked between the kitchen and the babe in his arms, clearly torn. His gaze settled on Brom as his wife again yelled for him. “Ah, here, can you maybe just–”

Before he even had time to answer Garrow transferred the warm bundle of blanket and baby to Brom’s arms and was out of the room.

Brom looked down, eyes wide and disbelieving. His arms began gently rocking the child of their own accord as a calm suddenly settled over his panicked mind.

The crying stopped.

And so did the rest of the world.

A pudgy face looked up at him from the bunched up blanket, slightly red from the screaming earlier, appearing a curious at the new face that gazed down.

Brom couldn’t breathe. Something welled up in his chest that wasn’t anything he had felt before. It felt like…pride. But that wasn’t it. It was something distinctly different but nameless, sending warm tingles across his entire body and forming a lump in his throat.

Then the baby gurgled and smiled up at him.

And Brom fell apart.

“Hi.” The Rider whispered, nearly choking on the word. He carefully used a finger to move more of the blanket away from the child’s face, almost scared to touch him. The babe gave him no choice, though, by reaching out with a chubby little hand and grasped the finger near his face with a vice like grip. Brom choked out a soft laugh, wiggling the trapped appendage. “Oh, look at you. Hi, little one.” The baby laughed back, and pulled the finger up to explore with his mouth. “Hey.”

“His name is Eragon.” Brom tore his eyes from his son as Marian entered with a tray of tea. She set it down on the table beside the couch and settled down next to her guest.

“Eragon?” The Rider felt the name bolt through his conscious. Such a weighty name for such a small thing. Selena had picked a name of power, of history and peace. The name that had started the Golden Era. “That’s a…a powerful name.” He looked back to the child in his arms. “He’s beautiful.”

Marian took a sip of her tea. “You’ve heard of it? Garrow’s sister seemed to know some history behind the name.”

“It’s a very special name.” Brom murmured, gently rocking the smiling Eragon. “He’ll grow up to be an exceptional young man with a name like that.” Unbidden, another smile split Brom’s face as he gazed on his son. “Won’t you, Eragon?”

“Do you want me to take him off your hands?”

Brom didn’t look away. “No…. No, we’re fine. I’ll see if I can get him to sleep.” Marian smiled at him, thanking him for a welcome break from stresses of taking care of a fussy baby while trying to get dinner ready, and returned to the kitchen.

“You’ll grow up to be strong, Eragon.” Brom whispered to the babe. In response, Eragon let go of his finger and reached out, touching the man’s bearded cheek. “You’ll blow the world away someday. I know it.” Bright blue eyes, not yet pigmented, gazed into the same tone of blue in the eyes of the man above him.

If only Selena could see them now.

~~~

That night, Brom slept in the guest room.

It was also Eragon’s room.

Whenever the babe became fussy, Brom would quietly and carefully lift him from from his crib, consumed with wonder at his little body, and would sit with Eragon on his chest. As the beat of his heart lulled the child back to sleep, Brom softly crooned to him in the Ancient Language, weaving the words to the age old cradle song from Kusta. He familiarized himself with the face of his son, gently touched his downy brown hair, and whispered the story of the first Dragon Rider, the story of his namesake, to him as he slept.

In the morning, as dawn edged into the window, Brom forced himself to come to terms with having to leave. His heart ached as he kissed Eragon on the brow once, placed him back in his crib, and gathered his belongings.

After a small breakfast, again cooked by Marian, Brom gave his sincere thanks to the family.

“If you ever come by again, be sure to look us up.” Garrow shook his hand. “I want to properly repay you.”

“You already have.” The Rider assured him. The warmth of meeting his son was slowly seeping away to be replaced this a deep ache with each step he took to the edge of the porch. “Thank you. And thank you, Marian, for the excellent meals. I have eaten at many courts in my travels, and your food has rivaled them all.”

The woman blushed and laughed. “Well, thank you!” She glanced back into the house. “If you come back, I’m sure Eragon and Roran would love to hear a story or two. Maybe you could tell Eragon about his name.”

“I promise I will. Your hospitality has been most kind.” Adopting the old Kustan bow, Brom bid his final goodbyes and mounted his horse. “Take care. Both your children are very special. Know that. I hope you folks have fortune smile on you.”

As he clicked the steed into a walk, a sleepy eyed Roran grabbed his mother’s leg and waved. “Bye-bye Bom!”

Brom didn’t look back. He didn’t want them to see him crying.

From then on, everything Brom did wasn’t just for the Varden, elves, dwarves, Alagaësia or vengeance. It was all for his son.

[thiswasinevitableid]

for the meet ugly prompts, 38 indruck nsfw ;)

Here you go!

38: I overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

Indrid thought he was having a normal day. He’s treating himself to a post work iced vanilla mocha, then he’ll go home, watch T.V and draw, maybe jerk off, then go to bed and get up in time for his eight a.m appointment tomorrow.

He’s messing around on his phone when the person placing their order catches his ear. There’s something in the drawl, polite and friendly, that feels weirdly familiar. It’s not a regular at the shop, and a glance at the mans face offers no useful information; he’s a complete stranger.

The barista asks something about the second drink, and the man replies, “as sweet as can be, please.”

“Ahnngod, please, please, please say I can cum?” Indrid’s been edging himself with the fleshlight so long his wrist is sore.

“Hmmm” the voice on the phone takes his sweet time answering, “dunno, not sure I punished you enough for teasin me in the bar.”

Indrid whimpers, hoping the neighbors can’t hear (even if he’d like them too, they haven’t consented to it).

This is how his calls to the 1-800-Hot-Guys line have gone ever since his first time. He asks for “Ryan,” gets a sweet, southern greeting before the other man asks what he’s in the mood for tonight. See, Indrid’s only recently begun exploring his interest in men, and is discovering that a better sense of his sexuality makes it much easier to get in touch with his other desires. Like being fucked in a bathroom stall where lots of people can hear what’s happening to him.

Ryan always takes the ideas generated by Indrid’s desire-addled brain and runs with them. Tonight, virginal Indrid Cold went to a leather bar and found a bear waiting for him (he suspects Ryan might be one in the real world, because when Indrid first revealed that preference his moans sounded a touch more genuine). The bear made him blow him in front of everyone to make sure he was worth taking home, then told him not to cum until he was done fucking him.

“Please?”

A chuckle, “Okay darlin, you can cum.”

Indrid’s certain he hurts Ryan's ear with the noise he makes as he spurts into the toy, but all the other man says is , “Good boy.”

After a moment, he adds, “aw fuck, meant to bring some spankin or somethin into the scene because I know you like it.”

“That’s, that’s quite alright. I’m not sure you could ever disappoint me.”

“Thanks, sugar.”

Indrid whines, hoping it sounds horny and not like the noise a man who’s just realized he’ll be sleeping alone makes.

“You like when I call you that? Because it’s true; you’re as sweet as can be”

As he’s been having its slow-motion realization, Indrid’s body has been going on autopilot, picking up his cup when the young woman behind the counter calls his name. Which means that--when Indrid startles at his revelation-- the cup is in perfect position to send its contents flying straight onto the man who caused it.

“AHfuck, jesus man be careful!”

“I, I’m so sorry, here, let me-” he slips in the puddle of coffee and hits the floor, kicking the other man in the shin on his way down.

“Owfuck, fuck, okay, don’t fuckin try to help again.” The man snaps.

“Nono, right, I’m sorry, goodbye” he scrambles up, sticky with shame and vanilla syrup, and hurries out of the shop.

--------------------------

Duck keeps an eye on his burner phone while playing Plants vs Bom-Boms on his real one. It’s shaping up to be another night with only two calls.

He took up the phone sex thing during the last government shutdown; the park had to furlough them, and he needed money. The extra cash was nice enough that he kept at it even after work started back up. He isn’t the most in-demand operator; he can’t lie, laughs a little too easily, so lots of callers don’t come to him a second time.

One of the few who does is Indrid. He’s Duck’s favorite because their fantasies align well enough that he actually jerks off while on the phone with him. But the guy hasn’t called in two weeks; this is a bummer, in part, because Duck came up with a scenario involving a pool table and a biker gang he thinks Indrid would really be into.

More than that, he’s worried about him.

He worries about him so much that even a half a day later he’s wondering if he should figure out how to have someone check on him. The coffee shop is conducive to thinking. Right up until the dipshit who spilled coffee on him a few weeks back plops down in the seat across from him.

“You here to ruin another shirt?”

The man, all silver hair and angular features, shakes his head, “Nono, I, I really am very sorry about that. I came to offer to buy you another.”

Duck points at his cup.

“Some other time?”

“You come here often?’

“Since I moved to the city, yes. I was out in the suburbs up until a few months ago.”

“Fine. Next time we see each other, you owe me a drink.”

He nods, nearly sliding his red glasses off his nose in his eagerness. Then he taps on the table, “There’s, ah, something else you should know. We already know each other. In a way.”

Duck frowns; he’s never seen this guy before, he’d remember his face.

“We talk on the phone. Often.”

Oh fuck.

“My name is, ah, it’s, it’s Indrid.”

“Jesus, glad you’re ok--hold the fuck on. How the fuck do you know who I am?”

“I recognized your voice the last time we were both here. I, I wanted to get to know you more but I felt it was only right to do so if you knew I knew who you were so you wouldn’t be uncomfortable, but you clearly are, I’m so sorry” he stands up, banging his knee in the process, “I promise I won’t call any more, I didn’t mean to be creepy, I’m sorry, goodbye.”

He’s out the door in a flash of long limbs before Duck has a chance to respond.

Duck sighs, downs the rest of his coffee, and decides not to dwell on the fact he’s going to miss Indrid’s calls.

--------------------------------------------------

Indrid’s excited. He really is.

It’s just that the sex club is even more overstimulating than he anticipated.

It was alright at first; when he replied that yes, this was his first time, the guy working the counter ushered him over to a set of blue velvet seats and told him to wait. Soon, Indrid and ten others were being given a rundown of the rules, risks, and etiquette of the space, their understanding of which they signed in a neatly typed contract.

Then they turned them loose into three stories of sexual exploration and Indrid froze, totally unable to process it all. Lucky for him Lucy, there with her girlfriend Willow, helped him navigate the edge of the first floor until they came to one of the “chill out” rooms; rooms for people for whom the club was as much a place to chat with friends as it was a place to get spanked or suspended. They even have juice.

After three separate people check to be sure he’s alright, he asks the trio on a nearby couch where he should go to if he’s interested in bondage and impact play. They all agree the second floor is his best bet, and that there’s a shibari demonstration starting soon.

To reach the demo room, Indrid passes though a portion of the space that reminds him of a hotel. The nice dominatrix explained the rules for their use as: doors and windows closed, leave us alone. Curtains open but door shut? You’re free to watch, but don’t come in. And if the door is open, you’re welcome to join whatever is happening. He pauses at some open windows, but nothing really catches his attention.

The demo room is already packed, so he stays at the back. A perk of being tall is he can see the couple on the little platform easily without blocking anyone else’s view. The dom is explaining why she chose the rope she did and what ties she’s going to show everyone. Indrid listens, but his eyes wander in hopes of finding someone checking him out.

Someone is. But Indrid isn’t sure it’s a good thing.

Duck stands a few bodies to his left, looking him up and down with a slight smile. Well, at least that means he doesn’t think he’s stalking him or something.

The other man meets his eyes, tips his head towards the nearby green room and raises an eyebrow. Indrid nods, picks his way through the crowd to find Duck has beaten him there.

“Y’know, if you’d told me you were into this scene, I coulda worked with that.” He polishes off his water and tosses the cup in the trash.

“I...this is my first time. Is, ah, is it yours?”

“Nah. Came some when I was younger, decided to come out tonight because I was bored and itchin’ to get someone cute in my lap.” The casual way he says it is a hundred times hotter than the practice voice he used on the phone.

“Ah. In, ah, in that case, would you mind if I asked you a question?”

“Shoot.” Duck leans against the wall, grinning.

“Am I dressed alright for this?” He gestures to his pink and yellow tank top and black jeans.

He watches Duck catch his laugh before it starts, which he appreciates.

“You’re dressed just fine, Indrid. I mean, just look at me.”

“I am” Indrid is having such a difficult time tearing his eyes from the way Duck’s white t-shirt fits his chest or how the bluejeans show off his ass. Duck catches him mid-ogle, which is all it takes to drop his gaze to the floor.

“C’mon, sit down with me a sec.” Duck settles on a grey couch, leaving Indrid space to join him, “feel like you and I got off on the wrong foot. You know I ain’t angry with you for tellin me you were a customer, right?”

Indrid shakes his head but sits down all the same.

“Indrid, you startled the hell outta me when you admitted that. For a second, I was sure you were gonna try to get somethin outta me by threatenin to tell my boss at my regular job. But then it was so fuckin clear all you were tryin to do was be straight with me and try to be polite about the drink thing, I wasn’t mad at all. You just up and bolted before I could say as much.”

“Ah. Yes. I, ah, I can be a bit of a walking disaster so I try to get out of situations before I make them even worse.”

Duck touches his hand, “I get bein’ spooked. Happens to everyone. But, uh, guess what I’m also gettin at is, uh, if you wanna actually get to know each other, I ain’t gonna complain.”

“I’d like that.”

“Okay” Duck scoots closer, “let’s start easy; what do you do when you ain’t callin me?”

Indrid tells him about the tattoo shop, which leads to them comparing ink, which in turn leads to Duck getting on a ten minute digression about native plants. They’re debating the best Cramps album (Duck votes for “Date With Elvis,” Indrid for “Off the Bone”) when they decide to stretch their legs, Duck holding Indrid’s hand as he weaves them through rooms and clumps of people.

They end up doing laps of the second floor, people watching, during which Duck nudges Indrid playfully, “Knew you were kiddin me with the never been fucked stuff.”

“Ah, well…”

“Holy fuck, you’ve never had sex and you picked here as the place to try? You got guts, sugar.”

Indrid blushes, “Well, yes and no. I’ve never had sex with another guy, but I feel confident in what kinds of things I want to try. You helped a lot with that; you made me feel safe enough to express and explore my more intense desires.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“I came here out of curiosity, and because I thought my chances were good of finding someone who shared my interests without running the gamut of dating.”

“So all that stuff about bein watched, bein roughed up and used, you, uh, you really like it?”

“Indeed. Do you like it too? I, ah, I assume you pretend to like everything when you work on a sex line.”

“You’re supposed to yeah. But I’ll let you in on a little secret” Duck leans close, whispers in his ear, “I never was much good at pretendin.”

“Oh. Oh my.” He leans against Duck, excitement making his legs unreliable.

“You want me to show you just how much I like it?”

“Please.”

Duck kisses his cheek, “Missed hearin you beg, sugar. C’mon.” He pulls Indrid two doors down to a room dedicated to impact play. People are sprawled and tied to crosses, benches, chairs, all of which look exciting. Duck doesn’t stop to consider them, doesn’t even hesitate on their trip. He stops at a table, one bolted to the floor, and digs through a nearby basket.

“Here it is” he pulls out a red blanket, holds it out for Indrid to test the texture.

“It’s lovely.”

“Good” Duck spreads it on the table, “you’ll be comfier this way. How naked do you wanna be?”

“Is just my underwear alright?”

Duck points to the completely nude person being spanked on his right and the fully clothed one being hit with a crop to his left.

“I meant with you.”

Duck sets his hands on Indrid’s hips, “as long as I get to see this cute ass in the air for me, I’ll be just fine.”

Indrid quickly strips to his boxer briefs, opts to leave them on for now. Duck licks his lips, pats the table. Indrid bends over it, feet planted on the floor.

“Gonna use just my hand tonight. Easier for me to feel how hard I’m hittin, and I wanna be able to grope you while I turn your ass red.”

He moans, tenses as Duck rubs soothing circles on his ass. The first few slaps are mild, Duck checking on him after each one. Then one comes, hard and sharp, and he gasps, hips momentarily twitching away from Duck.

“Still good?”

“So very good, more, pleaseAHgod” He clings to the far end of the table as Duck brings ten slaps down on each side before giving him a rest.

“Let’s see...how many times would you say you called me?”

“At, at least fifteen.”

“Fifteen times two, add a few extra for ghostin me…” Duck pets his lower back, “You’re gonna get forty on each side as punishment for not lettin me see you cum all those times you called. Think you can handle that?”

Indrid nods.

“Count.”

“AHone, two, th-three, Aaaah,god, fourfive…”

Indrid loses himself somewhere around “ten” on the second side; all his focus is on being good, on counting out each strike, on taking whatever Duck wants to give him. His heartbeat is loud in his ears and his skin stings from ass to thigh. Dimly, he hears spectators complimenting Duck on having such a well-trained sub.

“He is, ain’t he?” Duck lands the final blow with a grunt, keeps his hand there and squeezes. Indrid whimpers, the pain going straight to his already aching dick. Duck shifts his stance, still mercilessly groping the bruise but pressing his fly against the cleft of Indrid’s ass, making it abundantly clear Indrid isn’t alone in his arousal, “he fuckin knows who he belongs too.”

Indrid moans, tears pricking his eyes; Duck is wonderful, Duck is handsome, Duck is perfect, and Duck is claiming him instead of someone twice as attractive or experienced.

“I know, sugar, you like it when people see how good you are for me.” Duck crouches down, petting Indrid’s hair as he studies his face, “you wanna regroup and finish this at home? Or do you need me now?”

“Now?” Indrid raises his head hopefully. His voice is odd in his throat, vulnerable but not afraid in the slightest. Duck nods, helps him up, thanks the person who offers to clean-up the station since Indrid, “looks like he’ll hit the ground if you let go” and grabs Indrid’s clothes.

“No point in putting these back on. Not with what I’m gonna do to you.”

They find an unoccupied, cleaned room, Indrid flopping on the bed as Duck closes the door.

“You wanna prep yourself or do you want me to?”

“I, I can do it. And could we, ah, leave the curtains closed for this bit?”

“Course.” Duck draws the red fabric tight as Indrid fishes complimentary condoms and lube from the bowl on the table. He’s so wound up he starts with two, the stretch uncomfortable for a few instants before he gets himself to relax.

“You look so fuckin good doin that.” Duck is undressing, only taking his eyes off Indrid when his belt buckle resists him.

“I’ve had a lot of practice fingering myself while listening to you. I, I’d picture whatever person you told me to but I, none of it compares to you.”

Duck blushes as he pulls his pants off.

“I mean it. You, you’re so handsome I” he tenses, pushing the third finger in and fucking himself fast, “I can’t believe it. I,I want to be so good for you, Duck, please,” he’s babbling, decides to quit while he’s ahead, “is three enough?”

“You tell me.” Duck gestures to his dick with a flourish; it’s average length, he thinks, but combined with the dark hair on Duck’s belly and the strong curve of his thighs, it is the most glorious dick in all of creation.

“Yes, yesyes, please come over here now oh, wait, the curtains please?”

Duck whisks them open on his way to the bed, settles with his back against the wall before rolling the condom on with ease. He points to his lap, “You wanna face me?”

“Yes. I...I like the idea of people watching but I don’t think I can handle seeing their scrutiny just yet.” He straddles Duck, let’s the shorter grope his sore ass before guiding it down.

“You sure you wanna do this now?” Duck murmurs into his chest, “you don’t owe me your first time with a fella.”

Indrid kisses his forehead and sinks down in reply.

‘Fuck!” Duck grips his hips, laughs, “that’s a hell of an answer, sugar.”

“Nngh” Indrid’s whole brain goes offline at the feeling of Duck inside him.

“Dick drunk already?” Duck teases.

“YesAHGOD, god, ohmygoodness.” He clings to Duck’s shoulders as the other man fucks up into him with abandon.

“That’s just fine, ‘Drid. Got enough brains for the two of us; all you gotta do is be my cute, fucked-out toy.”

“Nffph” Indrid hides his face in Duck’s neck. His legs and ass, still sore from earlier, are reluctant to obey his mind, so all he can do is let Duck bounce him on his cock or hold him down on it to thrust up in short, demanding jerks of his body.

“We got an audience.”

Indrid tries to moan. It comes out a whimper.

“You want me to tell you what they’re doin?”

“Mmhhmm”

“Two of ‘em are makin out with one eye on you. The other three…” he nibbles Indrid’s ear, “they’re jerkin off to us. Don’t blame ‘em, you look so fuckin good on my dick they all wish they were me.”

“Duck” his cock keeps rubbing on Duck’s belly, threatening to spill before he’s ready.

“One of ‘em asks how you feel on my dick. You want me to tell him?”

“Please.”

“Fuckin’ great!” Duck yells, “it’s his first time and he’s” Duck grunts, bucks his hips, “so fuckin tight but takes it like a fucking champ. Gettin in this ass is a fuckin privilege.”

Indrid smiles into his skin at the pride in Duck’s voice and the responding whoops from outside.

“Fuck” Duck kisses his cheek, “fuck, shoulda grabbed a cock ring, I’m gonna cum way too fuckin fast.”

“Me, me too.”

“Just like a fuckin virgin.” Duck quickens their pace.

“I’m not a--Aaaahn” the noise cuts off as he cums between them, cock pulsing onto Duck’s skin.

“Fuck, fuck that’s hot, fuck, c’mon sugar, lemme cum, lemme cum right in this fuckin perfect assfuck, fuck, ‘Drid.” He holds Indrid down, groaning as he pumps his hips. Then he tips them forward, crashing their mouths together and pressing Indrid into the bed.

When they surface for air, the spectators are gone. Duck pulls out, cleans them both up as Indrid tries to remember how words work.

“So good.” Is what comes out.

“Glad you think so.” Duck gathers him into a hug, “you want me to do all the aftercare here?”

Indrid blinks, “what’s the other option?”

“We could, uh, go back to my place?”

“That...I’d like that. Wait.” Indrid cocks his head, “do you...would it really be okay if I stayed the night?”

“Yep. Kinda hopin you’d stay over plenty in the future.”

“You want to date me?’

“Damn right” Duck kisses him, “besides you, still owe me a drink.”

Indrid kisses back, grinning, “So I do.”

[btschooseafic]

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Aviva is worried about Soonyoung. They learn something new about Yoongi.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: drinking and vomiting mention) [Masterlist]

Interlude 2: Crossroads Pt. 1

STAR - Jessi

“Road to success but my vision foggy

Thought the rain would never stop”

January 2012

Soonyoung’s birthday was on the first. She threw herself a big party that Aviva tried her best to be engaged in, though she felt more in her element giving Soonyoung painkillers and birthday cake the next morning.

However, as the new year continued, Soonyoung was out more and more partying. She had always been social, but Aviva was worried about the impact it would have on her training.

And then Aviva woke up one night to find Soonyoung throwing up over the toilet. She held back Soonyoung’s hair silently. She made Soonyoung a cup of tea, and tentatively brought up her concerns.

“So what?” Soonyoung said, as they sat on the bathroom floor together. “It’s not like they’re ever planning on debuting me. They have all these younger, prettier female trainees at the affiliate companies now.”

“First of all, even if they’re pretty, doesn’t mean you’re not,” Aviva told her. “Second of all, have you talked to them? Talk to Chief Youngjin or Bang-PDnim.”

Soonyoung shook her head, closing her eyes slightly.

“I don’t care.”

Aviva frowned. “How can you not care? It’s always been your dream.”

Soonyoung sighed. “Maybe I’m just growing up and realizing most people don’t get to fulfill their childhood dreams. I feel like I’m struggling against the tide, Avi. And you know I’ve never been good at swimming.”

“Then I’m getting you floaties,” Aviva muttered determinedly. Soonyoung laughed.

“Keep the floaties for yourself, darling. You know there isn’t room for two people on that piece of wood.”

Aviva groaned. “Fuck the Titantic, you know I hate that movie. We’re getting through this together. You’ll see.”

A few days later, Soonyoung called Aviva late in the night, sobbing, confused, saying she wasn’t sure where she was. Because the two of them had agreed to give each other their tracking details as soon as the technology came out, Aviva was able to catch a cab and get to where Soonyoung was.

“We’ve got to get you sobered up a bit,” Aviva thought. “Have you drank any water? Ate anything tonight?” Soonyoung shrugged. Aviva looked around and spotted a late night hole in the wall restaurant. She dragged Soonyoung inside and ordered her some hot food and tea. It was a cramped space, with one of the only two tables taken already.

It took Aviva a minute to recognize the person sitting at the table, hugging a motorcycle helmet against his chest as he glared at the textbook on the table in front of him.

She blinked. “Yoongi-ssi?”

He looked up. “…Bom-ssi, what’s up?”

“Um… I’m trying to get Soonie to sober up,” she answered honestly. Yoongi glanced over at the other table, where Aviva had propped Soonyoung up.

“Yo~” Soonyoung waved wobbly.

“Wait…” Yoongi smiled at her. “You’re Queen, right?”

Aviva looked at her. “Isn’t that your username on some gaming sites?”

Soonyoung grinned a little sheepishly.

“I was thinking of using it as my stage name…” She squinted suspiciously at Yoongi. “But I haven’t told anybody yet—how’d you know?”

“Some of your beats were open on the computer in the studio when I went there one time,” he told her. “It was good stuff, so I kind of asked around about who did it…” He rubbed the back of his neck, and then smiled at her again. “Anyway, I really liked it.”

Soonyoung’s brow furrowed. “You’re l-lying.”

Yoongi shrugged. “Believe what you want. I don’t sugar-coat things.”

“Don’t you?” Soonyoung wondered. “I thought your stage name was Suga.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s got to do with basketball, it’s not… anyway, you should be careful—if management catches you out drinking…” He glanced at Aviva.

Aviva held her hands up. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“And she won’t tell anyone you’re working a part time job against the rules either!” Soonyoung said confidently. “Cause she’s the sweetest person there is, sweeter than sugar.” Soonyoung tried to wrap her arms around Aviva and snuggle her. Aviva made a face.

“You smell. Eat your food, please.”

Soonyoung gave her a small salute.

“…What part time job?” Yoongi said after a minute.

“Aren’t you working here?” Soonyoung said, her voice a little muffled by the food in her mouth. Yoongi shook his head. Soonyoung scoffed. “Then why are you holding a motorcycle helmet with this restaurant’s name on it?” Yoongi froze.

“Yoongi-yah?” The man at the register called out. “Are these your friends? I said you could sit here and study, but I don’t want you bothering customers.”

“He’s not bothering us,” Aviva said, bowing slightly.

“Eh, I’m done anyway,” Soonyoung said, swallowing her last bite of food and washing it down with the tea. “Come on, Avi.” She dragged her outside.

“Wait.” Yoongi came after them. He pointed at Soonyoung. “You’re scarily observant for a drunk person.”

“Gotta be,” Soonyoung told him. “Can’t be a small drunk Asian girl in the middle of the night in Queens if you don’t got your wits about you.”

“Part of that problem would be solved if you didn’t go out drinking so late,” Aviva thought. Soonyoung shrugged.

“I’d still be small and Asian. Nice that doesn’t matter as much here, but now apparently I’ve got an accent and I’m too tan?” She grunted. “Something’s always gotta be going against me, I guess. I’m so tired of this shit, Avi.”

“I know.” Aviva hugged her.

“And you!” Soonyoung pointed at Yoongi. “You’ve got a part time job, you’re in idol training, and you’re studying for your college exams? When do you fucking sleep?”

“Yah, I don’t want to hear that from you,” Yoongi muttered. “I just wanted… promise me neither of you will say anything about this job?”

“I already said we fucking wouldn’t,” Soonyoung reminded him.

Yoongi looked at Aviva.

“We won’t,” she assured him. Yoongi studied her for a moment and then nodded.

“Where do you live?” He asked. Soonyoung squinted at him.

“I can and will beat you up if you start acting creepy.”

He laughed. “I believe that. I just meant I’d drive you back since it’s so late.”

“Three people on a motorcycle?” Aviva said confusedly.

“No.” Yoongi shot her an amused look. “I have access to the delivery van also.”

Aviva hesitated. “I don’t want to get you in trouble with your boss.”

“Should be fine as long as I get it back on time. Take it or leave it.”

“…Okay.” Aviva dipped her head. “Thank you, Yoongi-ssi.” Soonyoung fell asleep on Aviva’s shoulder as Yoongi drove them back. Aviva brushed her hair out of her face, frowning. “I should get my driver’s license… see if I can start saving up for a car. If she’s going to keep going out this late, I’ll need a more reliable way to pick her up.”

“Are you saying I’m not reliable?” Yoongi said lightly. Aviva just sighed.

  The next morning Aviva was thinking of sending Namjoon a text when her phone buzzed. She stared down at it. She had Yoongi's number, but the last time he texted was several months ago, to let her know that Hoseok's phone had died and he would be running late to practice.

This morning Yoongi had texted her the name of a driver's ed place, with a discount for a referral.

'thanks!' she texted him back immediately. 'for everything.'

'don't mention it'

Aviva followed up with a text to Namjoon that Yoongi could probably use a little extra support with his studying.

‘I’ll take care of it,’ he told her. Later, Aviva received a text from Hoseok telling her that they’d secretly made lunch for Yoongi. He’d included a picture of the boys crowding around Yoongi, who was rolling his eyes, but also smiling.

Aviva had almost fallen asleep on the couch when she sat up with a start at the sound of the key in the lock. The door opened carefully, Soonyoung nearly tiptoeing. When she saw Aviva, she smiled.

“Hey, sweetie, what are you doing up?” She cooed, slipping off her shoes and then coming to cuddle against her on the couch.

“Waiting for you, duh,” Aviva said, yawning and rubbing at her eyes. “Did you have fun on your night off?”

“Yeah. You would’ve hated it though.” She nuzzled against her neck.

“I can imagine,” Aviva said, squirming at the strong scent of alcohol on her friend’s breath.

“Anyway, I finally did what you suggested. I talked to Chief Youngjin and Bang-PDnim, and ba ba bum!” Soonyoung threw her arms out wide. “Bit Hit has agreed to train me as a producer!”

“What?” Aviva was suddenly wide-awake. “What, but Soon—what about becoming an idol?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it,” Soonyoung said, tapping her nose. “I’ve been thinking about what it is I really wanted from being an idol. I’ve decided that it’s the music that’s the most important thing to me. Preforming would be fun, but I can do just as good working behind the stage as I could on it.” She tilted her head. “Maybe better, even. Anyway, I noticed the production department’s all guys at the moment and that grossed me out so I decided I’d like to even the playing field a little.”

“Well…” Aviva curled more comfortably around her. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Soonyoung said. “And you? Are you happy in the management department, darling? You know I’ve always loved your voice, and you’re not half bad with computers either.”

Aviva laughed. “You’re biased, Soon. My voice is fine for singing in the shower, not for stages and albums. Anyway… I like it in management. There’s some real talent in the trainees, and I want to help see it to fruition.” She frowned. “I’m a bit disappointed I won’t get to manage you like I’ve always imagined, but of course I know you’ll be great at whatever you do, and I respect your choice.”

Soonyoung smiled fondly at her. “You’re too good, Viva. We’re all gonna do great, you’ll see.”

Meanwhile, the rest of the Bangtan lineup was still unsettled. Aviva was busier than ever helping out with the auditions.

[weirdponytail]

Modern Inheritance Cycle: Look at My Son (Pre-Eragon)

MODERN INHERITANCE

LOOK AT MY SON

Brom hunched his shoulders against the gust of snow flurries that tugged at his clothes as his horse clopped tiredly along. He knew he was getting close, could still feel the tiny threads of Selena’s energy leading to the small farm on the edge of Carvahall.

His stomach churned. Not only because he was hungry, but because he didn’t know what he was going to find when he reached his destination. Had the healers observations and Brom’s own hypothesis correct? He didn’t know if he wanted to be right or if he wanted to be wrong.

The Rider pulled his horse to a stop at the small house his spells were leading him to.

It wasn’t anything fancy. A simple homestead with a single story, a paddock next to the side porch. Brom could see a small patch of empty farmland behind the paddock, stubbled with the remains cut, dead stalks of grains poking up through the light layer of snow.

It looked like a home for a family.

Sighing, Brom leaned his forearms on the saddle’s pommel and examined the home, looking for some excuse to enter. He found a reason in one of the two work horses, a muscled bay, that had a pronounced limp.

Moments later found him knocking on the front door. His heart thumped in his chest. He had to play this along for a little while, then he could have the truth.

At the third knock a thin man opened the door. He looked at Brom with intense, dark eyes, then cocked an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

Brom cleared his throat. “Ah, well, not to intrude, sir. I was passing by and saw that one of your horses has a quite a limp. Didn’t know if you were aware, and I just…”

The man sighed tiredly. “Yeah, I’m aware. Thank you.” He leaned out to look over at the bay as it lapped water from a trough. “Poor girl. I don’t have the money to replace her, but I don’t have the money to get her looked at either. I’ve been resting her since winter started, but nothing seems to work.”

“I might be able to help, if you don’t mind me working with her a bit.” Brom gestured to his own steed. “I’m a bit of a traveling storyteller, but I’ve picked up quite a few tricks for healing, especially where horses are involved. Can’t get anywhere with a lame animal.” He offered his hand. “My name is Brom.”

Out of instinct the other man shook his hand. “Garrow.” Then he paused. “I appreciate your offer, but as I said, we don’t have much money, and I’m not the sort of person to accept–”

Brom cut him off. “If you insist on paying me, I’d appreciate a hot meal and a porch to sleep on for the night.” He chuckled roughly. “I’m having a bit of money trouble myself. Don’t think I have enough for a room in town.”

Garrow rubbed his chin, obviously thinking it over. For a moment Brom was worried he would refuse again, but then a woman’s voice called from within the house, coming closer with each word. “Honey? Who is it?”

A woman appeared behind Garrow. Brom’s heart leapt to his throat when he saw a child balanced on her hip, but then he came to his senses. The boy was much too big to have been born in the last few months.

“This gentleman–Brom, was it?–Brom was offering to take a look at old Betty for us.”

“And you were going on about not accepting charity, weren’t you? Garrow, you are not going to let this opportunity slide after all the complaining you’ve done about Betty being lame. Let the poor man in!” She swatted her husband on the shoulder good naturedly. “I already heard his offer to trade. Brom, you are welcome to stay for dinner and sleep in our guest room if you can help our horse.”

Garrow chewed his lip for a moment as the woman went back into the house, the toddler on her hip staring back at the stranger at his door with wide gray eyes. “Fine, fine. You can let your horse into the paddock to feed. I’ll get my coat.”

~~~

With magic on his side, the horse’s leg was easy to fix.

To keep impressions up, Brom took to murmuring to the pained animal in the Ancient Language, weaving in his spells subtly as he checked each leg and gently manipulated muscle and bone. Garrow would occasionally ask how he was doing certain exercises, but mostly kept to himself, leanly corded arms wrapped in a well worn jacket and crossed on his thin chest.

After two hours of working with the horse, Brom managed to get Betty to put her full weight on her previously injured limb.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Garrow grunted. “You must be some kind of miracle worker.”

Brom brushed his hands off and gave the bay a pat on her thick shoulder. “No, no. Just had many years of experience. She’ll still need rest until it’s fully healed. I wouldn’t have her pulling anything until spring. These types of injuries can get worse and have a nasty habit of popping up again if pushed too early.” The farmer nodded, assuring the stranger that he would take his advice, and then, finally, invited Brom into his home.

~~~ “Marian!” Garrow called, hanging his coat on the rack beside the door. Instead of his wife, the child from before came tottering out of what Brom assumed was the kitchen. “Hey, big guy! Where’s your mommy, huh?” In one fell swoop, Garrow crouched down and lifted the little boy up into his arms.

The child giggled, reaching out for his father’s head with grasping fingers. Garrow humored him, letting him tug at his ears, as Brom followed the man’s example of hanging his coat. As if suddenly noticing the newcomer, the boy let go of Garrow’s ears and leaned over his shoulder, pointing with an exclamation of childish surprise. “Ah, right. Roran, this man here is Brom. He helped the horse get better.” Garrow looked back. “This is Roran, our son.”

Brom awkwardly waved. “Hello, Roran.”

Roran waved back vigorously. “‘Aye Bom!”

“I’m in the kitchen!” Marian appeared in the doorway that Roran had come through, wiping her hands on her checkered waist apron. Her dark hair was tied up in a loose bun. “Supper will be ready in another hour or two. How did it go?”

“Brom here has magic hands, honey.” Garrow set Roran down, letting him toddle off, and clapped Brom on the shoulder. “Betty will actually walk on her leg now.”

Marian flashed Brom a warm smile. “That’s wonderful! Thank you so much, Brom. Please, have a seat! I’ll get some tea for you both to warm up.”

Garrow led the other man to the living room and offered him a seat in a worn armchair. “I know it’s not exactly the cleanest place in the world, but it’s home.” Garrow apologized, hastily moving blocks, a baby’s play mat, and various toys away with his feet. “We had an unexpected new addition to the family a little while ago. Hard keeping up with two little ones.”

Brom’s heart skipped a beat as he accepted the offered chair. “Congratulations. Two children are quite a blessing.”

Garrow chuckled slightly as he sat across from him on the couch. “Ah, well. He’s not ours, really. He’s my sister’s boy, but she had to leave him with us. We love him as our own, though.”

A boy!

He had a son!

“That’s incredibly kind of you.”

Suddenly, a soft cry came from a room further in the house.

The farmer stood. “There he is. Excuse me.”

Brom nearly choked as Garrow disappeared down the hall. He had a son! A little boy! His heart bashed against his ribs as he realized that Garrow was likely going to return with the baby. He was about to see his son for the first time and he was the only person in the world who knew it. He braced his elbows on his knees, trying to calm himself.

Dear Gods, he had never been good with children. They were small, generally talked or cried a lot, stank, and were prone to all kinds of trouble. He never knew what way he was supposed to hold them, especially babies, and when they weren't able to talk he was secretly terrified of not being able to help them or give them what they wanted.

Would he be able to handle even seeing the boy? What if he had to hold him? Stars above, he wanted to hold him, but at the same time what if he broke him? What if–

“Here’s the little man.” Brom started when Garrow spoke, gaze shooting up to see the farmer settling back onto the couch with a squirming bundle in his arms. “Sorry about the crying. It’s all they seem to do at this age.”

Brom cleared his throat, trying to fight past the lump he felt forming. He couldn’t see past the blankets. “No, it’s fine.”

Garrow gently bounced the child in his lanky arms, trying to soothe him. “Have any of your own?”

The question struck hard. “Ah, no. I’ve helped care for a few while traveling with troupes though.” Tentatively, as if he might be breaking some unspoken rule, Brom stood and approached the couch. “May I see him?”

“Yeah, yeah, sit. Shh shh shh, it’s okay, Unkie Garrow’s here.” Brom took the spot next to Garrow as gently as he could, his mind blocking out even the crying. He still couldn’t see him.

“Roran, what have you go– GARROW!” Marian’s flustered voice suddenly cut through the din. “Garrow, Roran got into your tools again and is about to smash a window with that silly hammer! My hands are full!”

“Shoot! Not again!” Garrow looked between the kitchen and the babe in his arms, clearly torn. His gaze settled on Brom as his wife again yelled for him. “Ah, here, can you maybe just–”

Before he even had time to answer Garrow transferred the warm bundle of blanket and baby to Brom’s arms and was out of the room.

Brom looked down, eyes wide and disbelieving. His arms began gently rocking the child of their own accord as a calm suddenly settled over his panicked mind.

The crying stopped.

And so did the rest of the world.

A pudgy face looked up at him from the bunched up blanket, slightly red from the screaming earlier, appearing a curious at the new face that gazed down.

Brom couldn’t breathe. Something welled up in his chest that wasn’t anything he had felt before. It felt like...pride. But that wasn’t it. It was something distinctly different but nameless, sending warm tingles across his entire body and forming a lump in his throat.

Then the baby gurgled and smiled up at him.

And Brom fell apart.

“Hi.” The Rider whispered, nearly choking on the word. He carefully used a finger to move more of the blanket away from the child’s face, almost scared to touch him. The babe gave him no choice, though, by reaching out with a chubby little hand and grasped the finger near his face with a vice like grip. Brom choked out a soft laugh, wiggling the trapped appendage. “Oh, look at you. Hi, little one.” The baby laughed back, and pulled the finger up to explore with his mouth. “Hey.”

“His name is Eragon.” Brom tore his eyes from his son as Marian entered with a tray of tea. She set it down on the table beside the couch and settled down next to her guest.

“Eragon?” The Rider felt the name bolt through his conscious. Such a weighty name for such a small thing. Selena had picked a name of power, of history and peace. The name that had started the Golden Era. “That’s a...a powerful name.” He looked back to the child in his arms. “He’s beautiful.”

Marian took a sip of her tea. “You’ve heard of it? Garrow’s sister seemed to know some history behind the name.”

“It’s a very special name.” Brom murmured, gently rocking the smiling Eragon. “He’ll grow up to be an exceptional young man with a name like that.” Unbidden, another smile split Brom’s face as he gazed on his son. “Won’t you, Eragon?”

“Do you want me to take him off your hands?”

Brom didn’t look away. “No…. No, we’re fine. I’ll see if I can get him to sleep.” Marian smiled at him, thanking him for a welcome break from stresses of taking care of a fussy baby while trying to get dinner ready, and returned to the kitchen.

“You’ll grow up to be strong, Eragon.” Brom whispered to the babe. In response, Eragon let go of his finger and reached out, touching the man’s bearded cheek. “You’ll blow the world away someday. I know it.” Bright blue eyes, not yet pigmented, gazed into the same tone of blue in the eyes of the man above him.

If only Selena could see them now.

~~~

That night, Brom slept in the guest room.

It was also Eragon’s room.

Whenever the babe became fussy, Brom would quietly and carefully lift him from from his crib, consumed with wonder at his little body, and would sit with Eragon on his chest. As the beat of his heart lulled the child back to sleep, Brom softly crooned to him in the Ancient Language, weaving the words to the age old cradle song from Kusta. He familiarized himself with the face of his son, gently touched his downy brown hair, and whispered the story of the first Dragon Rider, the story of his namesake, to him as he slept.

In the morning, as dawn edged into the window, Brom forced himself to come to terms with having to leave. His heart ached as he kissed Eragon on the brow once, placed him back in his crib, and gathered his belongings.

After a small breakfast, again cooked by Marian, Brom gave his sincere thanks to the family.

“If you ever come by again, be sure to look us up.” Garrow shook his hand. “I want to properly repay you.”

“You already have.” The Rider assured him. The warmth of meeting his son was slowly seeping away to be replaced this a deep ache with each step he took to the edge of the porch. “Thank you. And thank you, Marian, for the excellent meals. I have eaten at many courts in my travels, and your food has rivaled them all.”

The woman blushed and laughed. “Well, thank you!” She glanced back into the house. “If you come back, I’m sure Eragon and Roran would love to hear a story or two. Maybe you could tell Eragon about his name.”

“I promise I will. Your hospitality has been most kind.” Adopting the old Kustan bow, Brom bid his final goodbyes and mounted his horse. “Take care. Both your children are very special. Know that. I hope you folks have fortune smile on you.”

As he clicked the steed into a walk, a sleepy eyed Roran grabbed his mother’s leg and waved. “Bye-bye Bom!”

Brom didn’t look back. He didn’t want them to see him crying.

From then on, everything Brom did wasn’t just for the Varden, elves, dwarves, Alagaësia or vengeance. It was all for his son.

[ecofinisher]

¡Vamos a España! - Chap 21

Chapter 21

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442912/chapters/74750541

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13819897/21/Vamos-a-Espa%C3%B1a

https://www.wattpad.com/1046967153-%C2%A1vamos-a-espa%C3%B1a-chapter-21

At the outside of the restaurant, Kai sat on the dinner table alone with Alfida, which were waiting for their order.

„Look at us, finally after a long time having a real date together on a restaurant and we‘re not in Scandinavia, we‘re now outside of our home,“ Kai mentioned. „It‘s been a while since we were on a date….I mean only us two. I‘m sorry I took Gerda the other night out with us. I just felt bad for leaving her alone,“

„It‘s okay, she‘s my friend too. I‘m happy if I could help her out back there,“ Said Alfida. „For now on, she‘s together with Orm figuring a way to get him under the citizens without calling much attention,“

„Good, it wouldn‘t be great, if Orm had to stay back all the time while we were out seeing the place. He agreed to tagalong to Portugal after all,“ „I know,“ Alfida commented taking her glass of water to drink.

„Alfida…..erm I know this is not the right moment for those sort of question and I hope I don‘t make you feel uncomfortable about it,“

„Obviously not, unless you‘re gonna ask me the question in Portuguese,“ Alfida commented.

„Why should I?“

„We‘re surrounded by people speaking in another language. We speak another language. Whatever you‘re going to say, they won‘t understand it,“

„Well you‘re actually right, erm…..have you ever thought about us two in the future?“ Kai asked making Alfida look curious at the boy.

„What exactly do you mean?“

„You know…..we‘re soon turning into adults in a few years and I‘m curious….what could the two of us do?“

„Well….“ Alfida chuckled surprised about the question of her boyfriend. „I‘m really surprised at your question. If you want me to be honest, I haven‘t thought about it either. One of the things I‘m certain about wanting to keep in the future is you,“ Alfida announced reaching her hands over the table close to the boy to grab them. Kai smiled at the girlfriend, then a waitress showed up bringing the two a plate with a large grilled corncob with small baked potatoes on it.

„There you go,“ The middle-aged waitress said. „Bom Apetite,“

„Thank you, I mean….Obrigada,“ Alfida commented along with Kai, which said it in another language.

„Gracias….oh wait a second,“ Kai mentioned looking at Alfida, which looked at him neutrally, then both began to laugh at Kai‘s mistake. „Okay I was thinking for a split second we were in Spain again,“

„We‘ll get used to it,“ Assured Alfida earning a nod from Kai. „So shall we start dinner?“ Questioned Alfida watching Kai lift her hand and move his face to peck her on the hand making her giggle softly. „Aww, you‘re never done this in public,“

„I know, but It‘s not bad to take some new steps,“ Commented the raven-haired boy.

„It‘s always good to try something new,“ Mentioned the girl earning a nod from the boyfriend, then they heard someone scream and the two looked across the road to see a woman, which had fainted and Gerda stay there with an disguised Orm hiding his face tight behind a hand fan.

„Is that Orm?“ Kai asked while Alfida widened her eyes as she saw what Orm was using as a disguise and did a face palm.

„This was a terrible idea,“ Alfida commented, then the friends arrived at the table and Gerda smiled a little bashfully.

„Hey you two,“ Gerda greeted then took a free chair from another table to set it beside Alfida, then took another one so she could sit down along with Orm. „I‘m sorry Alfida, my cousin had to borrow your clothing because hers got wet“

„What are you babbling around, lass?“ Alfida asked at Gerda‘s comment, then she rolled her eyes at Orm. „I know, that Orm is behind that disguise,“

„I‘m trying to hide him, can‘t you talk a little…..quiet?“

„If you‘re thinking like Kai, everyone around her understands us, you‘re wrong. It‘s sufficient enough to know he looks like a girl, until we‘re back at our ship,“ Alfida mentioned.

„Okay that‘s good then,“ Gerda said, then looked at Orm, which was leaning his face closer to Kai, which was eating a cut piece from the potato, and glanced at Orm a little intimidated.

„What are you doing?“ Kai mumbled.

„Orm‘s hungry you know,“ Gerda mentioned making Orm nod.

„May I have one of your potatoes?“ Orm asked with a fake feminine voice, making Kai grunt amused by the troll‘s try to play the role of a woman.

„Oh uh of course,“ Kai responded, then picked up one potato and held it up with the fork behind the fan, so Orm could snap it with his mouth, then he widened his eyes and swallowed the potato at once burning himself on it.

„Ouch!“ Orm complained making his friends shriek.

„Hold yourself together,“ Kai flinched at Orm‘s reaction. „Why didn‘t you blew at the potato?“

„I thought it wasn‘t that hot!“ Orm complained making Gerda roll her eyes while Alfida growled.

„Guys, you‘re not helping. Try to remain normal,“ Gerda whispered, then a waiter appeared shrieking the quartet.

„Is there a problem?“ Asked the waiter, then Kai faked a smile and looked at Alfida and Gerda hoping for a save from the situation.

„Oh, my two cousins just arrived, and…..Gretel just hit her ankle as she sat here with us. Nothing to worry about, she‘s feeling better now,“ Alfida lied earning a nod from the waiter.

„Would the two like to order something to eat and drink?“ The man asked holding his eyes at Orm, which had his face hidden behind the fan.

„A simple salad,“ Orm spoke with a high voice. „I‘m not very hungry,“

„Okay and a glass of water I may ask or what about wine?“ Questioned the waiter watching Orm look at Gerda, which shrugged her shoulders.

„You know I think one glass would not be bad,“ Orm answered making Gerda smile, then the waiter looked at Gerda.

„What about the blonde miss?“

„The potatoes with the corncob would be great as well for me,“ Gerda responded. „And to drink I‘ll stick for now with water,“

„Sure, thank you,“ The man said moving away from the quartet, then Orm looked with his eyes above the fan, then back at the girls.

„How strong are the wines here?“ Orm asked making Alfida shrug her shoulders.

„I‘m not sure what sort of volumes the wines here have got,“

„Orm you better be careful with the drink before you‘ll go all awkwardly around or worse...you show everyone what is under that clothing,“ Gerda warned.

„I‘ll hand out a bit to you all, I swear,“ Orm said slipping out of his feminine voice.

„Alright,“

„I hope you have a good nose for wines,“ The pirate girl mentioned watching Orm give her a thumb up, then Gerda pulled the sleeve down to cover his hand.

„Haven‘t you found a way to disguise his furry hands?“ Kai asked making Gerda shake her head.

„No one will ask as long as he keeps them hidden,“ Mentioned the older sister.

„That‘s good to know,“ The brother mentioned a little unsure about the idea of hiding the troll.

On Thursday the groups had split up in two groups and Rollan, Pastor, Marina sat in a carriage with several other students riding on a road back to the next town. Behind the followed part two of their group, where Ernesto and Enrico sat minding their own business.

„Nicholas, Thiago, and Diego already quit, that‘s sad,“ Pastor mentioned.

„This seemed too much pressure on them, so the best thing for them was to quit now. I heard from Thiago already, that he didn‘t have many chances so he preferred to just leave,“ Marina commented. „So far everyone else from our group seems to do well at those tasks,“

„I‘m glad this is going well for me…..I mean us. If we keep up the good work we will make it to the end,“ Said Rollan. „Some of us could possibily work at the king‘s castle,“

„Will there be a difference if we work for the king or down around the towns?“ Pastor questioned making Rollan shrug his shoulders.

„Perhaps a higher salary?“ Mentioned Rollan. „As long as I can help my mom out of her debts it doesn‘t matter if I work at the castle or have to work around the town,“

„And how long do you think you will need to help out your mother?“ Marina asked making Rollan shrug his shoulders.

„For now on, I‘m not sure, but I assume until the end of this year. Our formation is going to take how long again?“

„Three months for now. Then we‘ll be partnered with an experienced guard for the next two, three months,“ Explained Marina.

„Yeah,“ Rollan replied. „I wonder how long I‘ll be distanced from Gerda,“

„Oh you miss her a lot do you?“ Pastor asked making Rollan smile a little embarassed.

„It‘s not the same to exchange mails with her when we‘re both far away from each other,“

„Or when you‘re not personally with her here or there,“ Pastor added making Rollan nod.

„One good thing about this all now is, that Gerda is coming to Alicante along with an old friend of hers, because of the puppies you saw at my mama‘s house, “Rollan mentioned. „On our last letter she wrote she would take a few more days, because they had come to the conclusion, since they were in this trip they could take a look at Madrid and go out to the Porto, Lisbon and so on, before turning towards Alicante. So they could get to know more about where they passed by,“

„They‘ve been going all the way up from the Scandinavian peninsula just to get back the puppies. That‘s quite a long way up here,“ Marina commented.

„Yeah, mostly for….well I don‘t want to sound rude…..house pets,“ Pastor mentioned.

„Well….they‘re very special and important to that one friend of him. They‘re…..like his children,“ Rollan said, then watched a few students get up and his friends noticed it too, then saw their carriage had stopped in front of a library.

„Hey I‘ve heard of this library“ Rollan mentioned looking at the two-leveled building. „This is the one library has listed most legends from all over the world,“

„Really?“ Pastor asked. „How do you know?“

„The very first book my mama borrowed me was from San Martín. The one soldier, that had cut his cape in half to give it a poor man on a rainy night,“ Rollan mentioned. „I even got one cape inspired by the one in the book,“

„Sounds cool,“

Later on, all sat inside the library in small groups and Pastor already had picked a book to look at it. Rollan stood on top of a ladder looking throught a bookshelf and Marina was down on the ground reading the summary of a book she had pulled out.

„That seems interesting,“ Marina said pulling out a thick book, then opened it on the first page.

„What book?“

„Tomoe Gozen,“ Marina responded. „She was one of the fewer women back in Japan to participate along with Samurais at the war,“

„I think I haven‘t read that yet. But I read one called Mulan. It also was about a woman, which was the only female warrior in a area with only men, „ Rollan explained earning a nod from Marina. „There are more young women, that appear in legends. They‘re just not a lot at the moment,“ Rollan counted, while pulling out each book back and forth to see their title.

„With that movement, you‘re not going to find yourself a book to read,“ Marina commented observing Rollan looking at the books, then Rollan pulled out a book and smiled, then slided down the ladder.

„It exists here,“ Rollan announced watching Marina look neutral at the boy, which showed her the cover of the book.

„The Snow Queen?“ Marina read. „Isn‘t that the villain your girlfriend defeated?“

„Yes and that girl here somewhere on one of those pages is her as a child,“ Rollan stated searching throught the book for the illustration of his girlfriend, when she was younger. „There she is,“

„Okay….,“ Marina commented a little unconvinced about Rollan.

„I know what you‘re thinking. I‘m crazy, aren‘t you?“ Questioned the Spaniard.

„Well it‘s weird for me to assume that this here is the truth,“

„Okay…...Makes sense…..wait a minute,“ Rollan asked giving the girl the book, then he got up on the letter to search for another book. „There must be a book about the Mirrorlands,“

„I think you would need to look for that on another letter,“ Mentioned Marina and Rollan jumped down grabbing the book of the Snow Queen.

„You‘re right, I‘m going back to the other side,“ Rollan mentioned walking along with the brunette to Pastor, which was focused on the book, then Marina sat down while Rollan passed behind the friend and noticed Marina sit down next to Pastor. „You‘re not coming?“

„I already got my book, if you find it you can still show it to me, don‘t need to worry about it,“ Marina offered making Rollan nod and walk away to search for the other book.

„Uh did I miss something?“ Pastor asked making Marina shrug.

„Well I still have a hard time believing that his girlfriend is a legend from a book,“ Marina told the boy, which was listening to the brunette.

„I don‘t know why he would lie to us about having a girlfriend or why exactly one of the books. It may sound silly as you say, but he‘s speaking more about this and he showed us a letter she sent him, so I don‘t think there‘s a need to feel weird about him. It could be the case, that this Gerda is another Gerda, which is similar to the book Gerda,“

„That makes no sense, there is only one Gerda in a legend,“ Marina mentioned.

„I‘m not sure, but I prefer to let things be like they are now. If for some reason this here isn‘t true, well we just question him about it and the issue is solved,“ Suggested the boy.

„Alright. Is it weird, that I‘m suspicious of Rollan about that aspect, or is it my impression only?“

„To be honest, since we began to get to know him and he told you about having a girlfriend, you got to see him different,“

„Honestly I think it began already on the day I saw him with the puppies from his friend,“

„What do the puppies have to do with all that?“

„Can‘t you recall that day? The way he talked. He talked as if he was trying to come up with an excuse. It‘s like he‘s hiding something from us. We‘re his friends, isn‘t that a little weird?“

„Well, we just meet him about two weeks ago. Not everyone trusts someone that fast. Would you trust me enough after those days with I don‘t know…..the color of your underwear?“ Pastor asked making Marina shut her eyes dumbfounded at the question. „I‘m sorry, I couldn‘t come up with a better example,“ „He doesn‘t need to tell us his deepest secrets, but I find it odd, that he lies….or seems to lie about such things, that are not even needed to lie about,“

„He doesn‘t know us for very long. He could be afraid to tell it to us in fear we would laugh at him or give up our friendship with him,“

„Look if you want confront him with that, do it…. or do what I would do in your place, give him a chance to open up more. Maybe he‘s got a reasonable way he‘s doing all that, maybe he doesn‘t even know why he‘s doing that,“

„I‘ll think about that,“ Marina said, then Pastor patted the girl on the shoulder making her smile.

Rollan in the meanwhile found a book with the title he was looking for, then he placed it back sadly as he found out it wasn‘t that what he was looking for.

„Guess like I‘m going to read this again,“ Rollan said looking at the cover to see a girl standing in the snow looking at a palace made of ice. Rollan placed the book under his arm and walked along the corridor with the bookshelves passing behind another student, then he noticed a cart filled with books and he looked down at them getting curious at what books those were. Rollan looked at the title and found one under the title Fire and Ice, then took it out to see on the cover the wishing stone and two hands lying flat over the stone, then Rollan widened his eyes in shock as he recognized the stone.

„No…..,“ Rollan whispered, then flicked through the book to find anything that would lead this to the adventure he and Gerda were together on their first time and spotted a drawing of Gerda sitting on the floor looking toward a guy in lava-themed clothing looking down at her. Rollan read the page carefully slowly beginning to get tensed with it and behind him appeared Ernesto walking with a book in his hands, then he noticed Rollan shivering a little and tapped him on the shoulder shrieking him.

„Woah!“ Rollan cried letting the book fall down, while Ernesto flinched his teeth in surprise, then watched Rollan pick up the book and hold it tight to him.

„Is the book interesting?“ Ernesto asked watching Rollan hide behind his back.

„Ye…..yeah it is,“ Rollan responded. „I don‘t…..really want to share this with anyone here,“ Rollan commented, then someone behind him took the book shrieking Rollan to see one of the group look at the book.

„What a weird image for this title,“ The boy commented, then Rollan grabbed the book faking a smile at the student.

„Sorry I already borrowed this book,“ Rollan said, then Ernesto took the other book from Rollan‘s hand, which was about the Snow Queen, and opened it.

„Didn‘t you talk the other day about the Snow Queen book?“ Ernesto asked watching Rollan look at him and nod.

„Yes,“ Rollan said watching Ernesto place the book on the cart.

„Calm down, I‘m not going to do you anything,“ Ernesto mentioned. „What‘s wrong?“

„Nothing, I just was shocked about what was happening in one of those sites,“

„Oh okay. Could you handle it?“

„I‘m not through it. I‘m….not even sure if I should do it,“

„Shall I do it for you?“

„No, no, it‘s fine. I‘ll do it myself…..it‘s for the best,“ Rollan said walking further, leaving Ernesto back and Rollan got his nose back into the book to continue reading it.

Rollan skipped further to the next pages passing his finger over the text quick to follow the plot of what happened afterward in the story and leafed throught more pages stopping on a sketch that showed the entire troll kingdom on fire and how the stone-monster was threatening a trio of citizens and behind him stood Gerda‘s illustration watching in shock, what was happening. Rollan threw the book away at the ground and passed his hands through his hair in shock at what he had been reading.

„How could I let this happen to me?“ Rollan asked himself, then he walked away and crashed at the corner against a student, then gazed at him in shock, while the student looked at him surprised and Rollan moved along, making the student shrug his shoulders and get into the corridor. Enrico came along with a book into the same corridor, then spotted on the ground the book Rollan had left back and he bent down to pick it up to look at it, then squinted his eyes to read the resume.

„Two teenagers got into the forbidden cave and got in contact with the wishing stone hoping it would grant them a wish……...Due to the release of those forces, catastrophic events began to occur around the kingdom and…...ble, ble, ble……not really interesting,“ Enrico said placing the book on the cart, then saw Ernesto show up with a book then saw the book which Rollan had in his hands before on the cart.

„Didn‘t Rollan want that book?“ Ernesto asked watching Enrico roll his eyes down at the book and pick it up.

„This one?“ Enrico asked earning a nod from the friend. „What‘s so special about it?“

„Rollan seemed pretty shocked about something in it,“ Ernesto mentioned watching Enrico grab the book to open it, then chuckled.

„Notice how the first page talks about a Spaniard named Rollan and a Scandinavian girl named Gerda,“ Enrico pointed out. „You know….I really think he was right that one time he mentioned having a girlfriend with that name,“

„If that‘s so, why is he acting this weird? Did something happen?“ Ernesto asked making the friend shrug his shoulders.

„I think I‘m going to analyze this,“ Enrico mentioned closing the book and taking it under his arm. „Maybe it has something to do with those strange creatures we saw back at the beach or we get to know anything that could help us to get Rollan out of here,“

„Why should we get rid of him?“ Ernesto asked. „He didn‘t interfere with any of our jobs with your dad?“

„I know, but I know when something‘s suspicious and no one else does anything he will be the one doing that and when he finds out what‘s up, we‘re all screwed,“ Enrico told his friend quietly. „If you excuse me, I‘m going to take a look at this,“ Enrico announced leaving his friend back, which looked along the corridor to only spot Pastor and Marina reading their books together.https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442912/chapters/74750541

[sadienita]

Is It Fate? - Masterlist

The age old question, what are soulmates? Once upon a time people believed them to be magical. Some believed it was decided by the stars, or the fates, by gods or the universe. While some people think it’s a biological process to help you find a good match, many still like to believe it’s more than that. That a soulmate is your one perfect match in this world, and that all you have to do is find them. 

Seventeen soulmate!au, college!au

I’m Fine - Part 1 - Joshua x Reader - 1.5k You’ve got enough on your plate right now that you really don’t need to add a soulmate to the mix.

Meant To Be - Part 1 - Seungkwan x Reader - 1.4k Meeting your soulmate is a dream come true and you’re ready for happily ever after. A soulmate is made for you, so they must be perfect.

I’m Fine - Part 2 - Joshua x Reader - 1.4k You couldn’t skip class forever, nor could you avoid Joshua forever. You weren’t about to let throwing something else into the mess of your life mess with your future. Maybe everything would be fine.

Two’s Company - Part 1 - Chan x Reader - 1.1k Meeting you soulmate was like a fairy tale. You were so happy to have found your happy ending already with the most wonderful girl. You were already falling in love. But they do say the more, the merrier.

Meant To Be - Part 2 - Seungkwan x Reader - 1.1k Midterms are stressful and school is stressful. You had projects to work on and tests to study for and your friends didn’t help at all by questioning your relationship. You may have had a lot to deal with, but your soulmate was perfect, so he was not one of them.

I’m Fine - Part 3 - Joshua x Reader - 1.8k So far Joshua was kind and patient with you, but you haven’t exactly been honest with him. You’ve been keeping your issues under wraps and hoping that you could put off telling him until, well you weren’t sure what. You certainly weren’t expecting for him to find out in the worst way possible.

Babelfish - Part 1 - Junhui x Reader - 1.2k You’ve been travelling and trying to find out what you need. You’re feeling better about your choices but you’re not quite ready to get back to school at the moment. You’ve been falling in love with the city of Seoul, but you never expected to find love there.

Babelfish - Part 2 - Junhui x Reader - 1.1k Meeting your soulmate while travelling would come with it’s own set of problems, that you were sure of. But the while thing would be a lot easier if you had a least one language in common. But love is nothing if not determined.

Two’s Company - Part 2 - Chan x Reader - 1.5k You had no clue how to explain to either of your soulmates that they weren’t the only one. But avoiding Chan was draining and spending a little time together couldn’t hurt. Right?

I’m Fine- Part 4 - Joshua x Reader - 1k Your life was difficult. It was full of anxiety and unanswered question and you didn’t know when you would have answers or fully understand some of what was happening. But as it turns out, adding a soulmate to the mix may have been just what you needed.

Meant To Be - Part 3 - Seungkwan x Reader - 1.2k Nothing was falling into place with your soulmate the way ti was supposed to and it had you on edge. All you wanted was to fall in love easily the way it seemed everybody else did. But apparently that was too much to ask.

Take Care - Part 1 - Minghao x Reader - 1.1k It was easy to bemoan the difficult parts of your program being at the end of it. But looking out over a sea of art students the difference between each year was stunning. People watching was a fun time and it seemed so many of the students at this school followed the same trajectory through their degree. Still, even out mingling there was one person you were sure you would never meet.

Two’s Company - Part 3 - Chan x Reader - 1.5k You knew at some point you had to tell Mochou the truth, but you were terrified. What if she hated you forever or thought you were a freak and left you. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. But the thought of breaking Chan’s heart just about broke yours.

Take Care - Part 2 - Minghao x Reader - 1.3k You’re willing to take a chance on Minghao. You weren’t expecting to meet him but you could take it slow and try to get to know him at least. Starting with friendship seemed manageable for now. You could just focus on getting to know him and maybe, just maybe, you could let this happen again.

Meant To Be - Part 4 - Seungkwan x Reader - 1.4k After a few weeks of not speaking to each other you’re both ready to call a truce and try to work things out. It may not be easy but he was your soulmate and either way you cared about him. You couldn’t bare the thought of losing him.

Two’s Company - Part 4 - Chan x Reader - 1.4k You weren’t naive, you knew that having two soulmates would come with it’s own challenges. But you also knew that you loved them both so for now, you were set to just enjoy being with them and you’d deal with everything else as it came. For now, you just wanted to feel the love.

Take Care - Part 3 - Minghao x Reader - 1.8k You were trying to let yourself get to know Minghao. He was kind and caring and you were still so nervous about him and all the things that could happen bu you felt like it was wroth it to give this a shot.

Opposites Attract - Part 1 - Wonwoo x Reader - 1.2k No matter how unenthused your housemates may be, trivia night is one of the best nights. Who doesn’t want to hang out and yell out random facts and maybe even get a free drink out of it?

Take Care - Part 4 - Minghao x Reader - 1.9k It’s been a month since you’ve seen Minghao and the more time you think the more you realize that maybe you should have given him more of a chance. He deserved to fall in love, and maybe you did too.

Opposites Attract - Part 2 - Wonwoo x Reader - 1.7k You were excited to finally properly visit Wonwoo’s house and actually meet some of his friends. Parties were one of your favourite things and even though Wonwoo didn’t love them you hoped he’d come and spend a little time with you.

Patience Is A Virtue - Part 1 - Seokmin x Reader - 1.4k So what if Seoyeon didn’t want you heading out to a party. She wasn’t your mom or even really your big sister and you could handle one house party. It was part of the university experience. What’s the worst that could happen?

Babelfish - Part 3 - Junhui x Reader - 1k Being half way around the world from your soulmate was hard enough on it’s own. Your family had to make it a little harder, worried that if you left to live with him they’d never see you again. But at the moment the idea of staying away from him was worse.

Opposites Attract - Part 3 - Wonwoo x Reader - 1.4k The insecurities over what you’d heard at the party were eating away at you. You couldn’t help the feeling that you weren’t right for Wonwoo. Everyone seemed to think you didn’t fit together and you didn’t think you could bare it is he felt the same way. You could, however, become the sort of girl he would like.

Butterflies - Part 1 - Soonyoung x Reader - 1.1k You really were a hopeless romantic. You loved love and there was nothing wrong with that. But it seemed like everyone around you was falling in love and you were just sitting there alone. All you wanted was to feel the butterflies in your stomach and know it was your soulmate.

Patience Is A Virtue - Part 2 - Seokmin x Reader - 1.3k You’d been shaken ever since the party. You were sure your soulmate was a good person. He came to your defense and seemed to want you safe. But he was also big and scary. You didn’t want to get hurt. Again.

Opposites Attract - Part 4 - Wonwoo x Reader - 1.7k You knew you were being distant and you knew that your quiet, shy act was awkward and didn’t fit you at all, but you hoped Wonwoo could just pretend. You just wanted to be the kind of girl he liked. You didn’t want to give him any reason to leave you.

Butterflies - Part 2 - Soonyoung x Reader - 1.3k It was somewhat depressing that you couldn’t get anywhere near your soulmate without feeling sick. It was putting a damper on your usual chipper mood and as much as you wanted to try being near him you were afraid of what might happen.

Patience Is A Virtue - Part 3 - Seokmin x Reader - 1.9k Seokmin really was nothing but sweet to you. He was being very patience and up to now, the only time you had seen him lose his cool was at the party. You felt like you could really trust him, so why not take a step.

Destiny Has Nothing To Do With It - Part 1 - Seungcheol x Reader - 1.3k Of Course Bom met someone at the party she wasn’t supposed to go to and of course she thought it was fine to go over to his house when she’d only known him for a handful of weeks. It was only natural that you wanted to find out if the guy was any good for her. Despite everything she still chased the ridiculous idea that soulmates existed.

Does It Meet Your Expectations? - Part 1 - Hansol x Reader - 1.3k You didn’t really need to make tons of friends. You were fine just hanging out with Bora most of the time, Though it would suck that you had to go to a seminar without her. Maybe if you were lucky you’d get to know someone new in this seminar. It should be pretty easy to talk to someone.

Butterflies - Part 3 - Soonyoung x Reader - 1.3k The more you got to know Soonyoung the better you seemed to feel. You were overjoyed about being able to be in the same room as him with out feeling too sick but now you just wanted to be able to cuddle with him.

Does It Meet Your Expectations? - Part 2 - Hansol x Reader - 1.1k Even if you knew your parents wouldn’t approve of Hansol, you couldn’t help but fall for him and his funny, sweet, goofy charms.

Destiny Has Nothing To Do With It - Part 2 - Seungcheol x Reader - 1.1k Bom was pretty beside herself after her last conversation with Seokmin and though he was eternally understanding you were not and you knew she needed to talk to him again. That being said, she didn’t have to press you about Seungcheol.

Destiny Has Nothing To Do With It - Part 3 - Seungcheol x Reader - 1.6k You didn’t want to go on a date with Seungcheol, that was the last thing on your mind but you also didn’t want to back down, especially when it was the only thing cheering up Bom.

How To Fall In Love 101 - Part 1 - Jihoon x Reader - 1.1k You were excited about meeting your soulmate. You didn’t think about it every day but it was something you wanted and you spent some of your free time wondering what they might be like. I did at least expect them to like you.

Patience Is A Virtue - Part 4 - Seokmin x Reader - 1.6k You’ve been avoiding Seokmin. Seoyeon told you to just talk to him since he seems to be understanding about everything you told him but you’re still caught up in that fact that he’s far too good for you.

Destiny Has Nothing To Do With It - Part 4 - Seungcheol x Reader - 1.3k You had no clue why Seungcheol couldn’t leave you alone, why anyone couldn’t leave you alone over this. You didn’t want him near you. You didn’t want to deal with him. And you certainly didn’t want to see him and the concern on his face as he told you he cared and it would all be okay.

Butterflies - Part 4 - Soonyoung x Reader - 2.1k You could be in the same room as Soonyoung, and even sit beside him. But something was still missing in that you couldn’t touch him at all and it was weighing on both of you.

How To Fall In Love 101 - Part 2 - Jihoon x Reader - 2k Jihoon’s reaction to you had thrown you off. You didn’t expect him to love you right away but you did think he would at least sort of like you. Or even try. But a date could be just what you needed to try and get to know him.

Does It Meet Your Expectations? - Part 3 - Hansol x Reader - 1.9k You were not looking forward to the collision and blowout of your parents learning about Hansol. You knew it was coming but for the moment, you could at least pretend everything was okay and that would be a problem for later.

Wait For It - Part 1 - Jeonghan x Reader - 1.4k You had seen friend after friend meet their soulmate and fall in love and you were trying to wait for that day as patiently as you could. You thought from time to time about what your soulmate would be like, how they might act and look. Either way you were sure they would be perfect.

How To Fall In Love 101 - Part 3 - Jihoon x Reader - 1.5k It was a relief that school was done and you weren’t going to be busy with assignments. You also wanted to spend more time with Jihoon. He could be a little awkward but you had a feeling if he relaxed a little you’d get along well.

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling - Part 1 - Mingyu x Reader - 1.2k You couldn't help the fact that you were a bit of a hopeless romantic. You got lost in your day dreams easily, though Hayoon brought you back to reality. But with the store virtually empty you couldn’t help but let your mind wander as you thought about what it would be like when you finally met your soulmate.

Does It Meet Your Expectations? - Part 4 - Hansol x Reader - 1.6k You couldn’t blame Hansol for being upset. You knew the things your parents had said were hurtful but you felt helpless. You had no idea what you should have done or said. They didn’t listen to you. But now you were worried Hansol wouldn’t either.

Wait For It - Part 2 - Jeonghan x Reader - 1.5k You and Jeonghan have been joined at the hip ever since you met. You felt a little bad for judging him so quickly when you first met him. Jeonghan was very caring and a total sweetheart. You really couldn’t imagine him being a player.

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling - Part 2 - Mingyu x Reader - 1.3k You didn’t want anyone to know what had happened with Mingyu. You wished you could just forget about the poor boy who looked so crushed when you turned him down.

How To Fall In Love 101 - Part 4 - Jihoon x Reader - 1.4k It was nice that you and Jihoon were finally comfortable with each other. It took some time for him to relax around you and let himself be himself but you were happy he finally had.

Wait For It - Part 3 - Jeonghan x Reader - 1.6k You had been avoiding Jeonghan as you thought over what you wanted to do about the situation. You didn’t know how someone who was supposed to be so right for you could be so wrong.

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling - Part 3 - Mingyu x Reader - 1.8k It was always surprising how quickly the break could fly by but the camping trip was already upon you. As much as you really like Mingyu and his friends, you were staring to worry that getting too close to them would be a bad idea. What if he met his real soulmate?

Wait For It - Part 4 - Jeonghan x Reader - 2k You were still going on the camping trip despite the fact that you really didn’t want to be near Jeonghan at the moment, but thee were enough people going that maybe you could just avoid him.

Bablefish - Part 4 - Junhui x Reader - 1.4k After months and months apart from each other, video chats and test messages and learning to understand each other you’re finally close enough to be in Jun’s arms again.

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling - Part 4 - Mingyu x Reader - 1.3k You can finally allow yourself to relax and fall fro Mingyu. After spending a summer with him at arms length, it was nice to finally know there was nothing wrong with you at all.

[wherepoetswentodie]

BOM 10 Day Challenge Day 3!

Write a scene betwen your favourite Non-McPricely ship: Arnaba, also known as my emotional support heteros. 

(This is probably the worst thing that I ever written but I’ve never claimed to be good at writing ok)

Truthfully, Arnold forgot he had a girlfriend sometimes.

Not in a bad way or in a he didn’t care about her sort of way, but in a ‘I can’t believe someone like her likes me and my brain short circuits sometimes’ sort of way. When he had told Kevin this and asked if it was weird, he had told him that it was a bit weird, but mainly cute.

“Do you forget you have a boyfriend sometimes?” Arnold had asked anxiously.

“Um...no,” Kevin had said, “I don’t forget,”

Turned out that Arnold was the only one who sometimes forgot he was in a relationship; James and Chris had both told him that they had never forgotten they were in a relationship, and Zelder was always aware of his girlfriend back home (this certainly didn’t make Arnold feel better. Zelder and his girlfriend were in different countries and he could still remember her).

When Arnold had told Nabulungi this, he had immediately regretted it and assumed that she was going to break up with him there and then, but she had simply laughed, called him sweet and kissed his cheek.

“Why did you tell her, dude?” Kevin had asked that night when Arnold told him what he’d said, “You really shouldn’t tell your girlfriend that you forget about her sometimes!”

“She said it was sweet!” Arnold exclaimed, “Tell Connor the same thing and see what he says!”

The next morning, a very irate Connor McKinley stomped through the hut, followed by an equally irate Kevin Price who stopped only to glare at Arnold and snap, “He didn’t think it was sweet! He told me to fuck off!”

Still, Nabulungi thought he was sweet and didn’t want to break up with him, and that was all he really cared about (he also cared massively about his best friends wellbeing and hurried off to find Connor and explain that he and Kevin didn’t need to fight because what Kevin had said was technically his fault. So really, he cared about two things; Kevin and Nabulungi. And he supposed Connor, because nowadays, Kevin and Connor were practically one in the same).

And Nabulungi must have thought that he was very sweet because three days after he had almost accidentally broken Kevin and Connor up, she had asked him out on a date. He had nodded, stammered his, “uh...yeah..that sounds - sounds great!” and promptly ran all the way back to the hut, bursting into his and Kevin’s bedroom and bringing a makeout session to a screeching halt.

“Arnold!” Kevin yelled from where he was still laying underneath a bright red Connor, “How many times do I have to tell you? Knock! We’re not having a repeat of last month!”

At the mention of the incident from the previous month, Connor went even more red and quickly sat up, pulling Kevin with him.

“Can we stop talking about the incident?” Connor asked, fanning his face a little, “it makes me want to drown myself,”

Kevin rolled his eyes and turned back to Arnold, “Do you need something?”

“I have a problem,” Arnold said, “Nabulungi asked me out on a date and I said yes!”

Connor frowned at him, “So your problem is that your girlfriend asked you on a date and you said yes? Am I missing something here?”

“We’ve never been on a date before! We just started dating!” Arnold exclaimed, wringing his hands together, “What do I do? What do I say? What do I wear?”

“Considering you only own one outfit, I don’t think you have to worry about what to wear, bud,” Kevin said gently, “And you don’t really have to worry about her liking your or not because she already does. You’ll be fine,”

Arnold groaned and flopped face first onto his bed, “What if she stops liking me afterwards?”

“She won’t,” Connor said confidently, “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know,”

“Oh,” Connor said, “When are you meeting her?”

Arnold looked up at him and frowned, “Am I meant to know these things? It’s not like it’s a massive village! I didn’t ask! I just - I just said I’d see her tonight!”

Connor tutted and shook his head, “Straight people.”

~~~~

That evening, Arnold stood in the bathroom and desperately tried to get his hair to stop being such a mess. But the Ugandan heat coupled with the fact that he had never bothered how to properly style curly hair meant that his hair had long since lost its curls and was more fizzy than anything. Sometimes he felt he looked like a cat had coughed a massive fur ball onto his head.

“Arn, bud, you in there?”

“Yeah,” Arnold said, opening the door for Kevin.

“Why do you look so...sad?” Kevin asked, shutting the door behind him and leaning back against it, “Are you not excited about your date?”

Arnold pouted at him through the mirror, “My hair looks bad,”

Kevin’s eyes flickered up to it, “It looks fine,”

“It doesn’t!”

Kevin sighed, “Just put some water on it. That’s what I do when my hairs a mess,”

“You literally just have to brush your hand through your hair in the morning and it looks perfect! You don’t get an opinion!” Arnold snapped.

“Woahh, buddy, calm down,” Kevin said soothingly, “Naba already likes you, remember? She’s already your girlfriend. You’ll be fine. You’ll have fun,”

“But my hair,” Arnold whined.

“Is fine!” Kevin exclaimed, “I promise you, pal. I wouldn’t let you leave the hut if you looked a mess. I’m not that mean,”

Just then, Connor shouted up the stairs that Nabulungi was waiting for him outside. Arnold turned to Kevin, eyes wide in fear.

“I’m going to mess this up and then I’m going to be single for the rest of my life and then I’m going to die alone,”

Kevin sighed and put his arm around his shoulders, leading him out of the bathroom and down the stairs, “None of that is going to happen, Arn. You’re overthinking. Just go and spend a nice night with your girlfriend. I’ll see you later,”

It was with some trepidation that Arnold waved a rather miserable goodbye to Kevin and wandered out of the hut. He spotted Nabulungi standing at the bottom of their little path, waving at him with her usual massive grin. 

“These are for you!” she said brighty, holding out a bouquet of flowers.

“Oh, uh, I think - I think I’m the one who’s meant to get you flowers,” he said, stumbling over his words as his cheeks flushed a little.

Nabulungi shook her head, “No, no. Baba always tells me of how my mother used to bring him flowers. So now I’m doing the same for you!”

“Oh,” Arnold said intelligently, “Oh. T-Thank-you,”

She grinned again and took his hand, pulling him along with her.

“You look beautiful, by the way,” he said, remembering that he was meant to say that to her. (Not that he was just saying that because he had to, because he really did think that she looked beautiful. Not there was ever a time when he didn’t think that. She was just a generally beautiful person.)

“Thank-you,” she said, “So do you!”

Arnold forced a laugh and tried not to think about his hair or how his palms were probably sweaty or how there was a bug crawling a long one of the flowers and really he wanted nothing more than to throw the flowers so he wouldn’t be anywhere near the bug. In an attempt to distract himself from the bug, he turned back to Nabulungi.

“So, what are we - where are we going?” he asked.

“I hope you don’t mind that I’ve planned something,” she said, “I want to go stargazing,” she tugs on his hand again, pointing over to a field just behind her hut, “I can show you all the constellations!”

She showed him to a little spot that she had set up with a blanket and a plate of fruit. He hesitantly followed her over to it, lying down besides her and trying not to think about the fact that a snake could easily crawl out of nowhere and get to them.

“Isn’t the night sky beautiful?” Nabulungi asked wistfully, taking his hand into hers again.

For a moment, Arnold considered saying, ‘Not nearly as beautiful as you,’ but quickly stopped himself. Kevin kept on telling him to stop constantly trying to live his life like he was in a movie and felt like that sort of nonsense was something that an annoying protagonist in a romcom would say.

Instead, he cast his eyes to the sky and nodded, because even he could appreciate something like the Ugandan night sky. Somehow, he had managed to never really pay it that much attention until now, and was almost angry at himself for spending so much time indoors at night.

“Yeah.” Arnold said, “Beautiful,”

Nabulungi held her arm up above her and began to talk him through all the stars, planets and constellations. She told him about how her mother had taught her all about the stars and the planets when she was a child, and how just one look up at the night sky made her feel closer to her.

“Just before she died, she told me that when she went, she wouldn’t be far because she would only be on the other side of the moon,” Nabulungi said, “So when I am sad or I miss her, I just have to look at the moon and know that she’s there. Still watching over me,” she turned to him and smiled, “And that means she’s watching over you, too,”

Arnold wasn’t entirely sure why the concept of his girlfriend's dead mom watching over him was so terrifying, but it was. At once, his brain jumped to all sorts of scenarios where Mrs Hatimbi might haunt him for forgetting that Nabulungi was actually his girlfriend.

“Do you have anyone hiding behind the moon?” Nabulungi asked.

Arnold shook his head, “No. I mean, my Grandad is dead but I was like...5. I don’t really remember him. We don’t have a big family,”

Nabulungi turned her head to look at him, “I thought Mormons had big families? Like Kevin said,”

“A lot of Mormons have big families. Kevin does. And I think - I think Connor has like...45 cousins or something but I don’t,” Arnold told her, “My family wishes they were more like the Prices,”

Nabulungi frowned, “Why? Kevin says they aren’t really that nice,”

Arnold shrugged, “The Prices are a well respected family. We aren’t. Not really. If it were up to my dad, I’d be more like Kevin than me,”

Nabulungi made a little dissatisfied noise through her nose and scooted closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

“I don’t want you to be more like Kevin. I want you to be like you,”

Arnold smiled a little and turned back to the sky, eyes flickering over to the moon, “The sky doesn’t look like this at home. We don’t see that many stars,”

“What's it like? Sal Tlay Ka Siti?”

Arnold thought back to his hometown. Admittedly, it hadn’t been a place that he thought about much since Arnoldism had taken over much of his brain capacity. He leaned his head against Nabulungi’s, thinking about it for a moment.

“I don’t know,” Arnold admitted, “it’s...religious. There’s lots of Mormons,”

Nabulungi giggled, “Yes, and there are a lot of Mormons here, too,”

“Yeah, but not...not ones like us. Ones that - ones that aren't as nice,” Arnold said, “and it gets really, really cold in the winter. It snows a lot,”

“I’ve never seen snow. What is it like?”

“Cold,” Arnold said, “You’d hate it,”

“I would not hate it if you were there, Arnold,” 

Arnold grinned and looked back up at the sky. He didn’t think he’d hate going back so much if Nabulungi was with him.

[darawonplease]

trauma. ch1.1 - i’m doomed

Dara rewatches her infamous confession to SECHSKIES leader Eun Jiwon. She finally decides what to do when a message ruins her plans.

characters. Eun Jiwon x Sandara Park, CL, Park Bom

A.N. In the following chapter I refer to two different shows Dara has appeared on. The links to those videos are in the titles of the two shows that are mentioned at the start).

chapter 1 - i’m doomed, part. 1

[dara pov]

I turned on the tv with reluctance, a frown appearing on my face. I intended to avoid that very episode of Hun Maen Jung Eum since it first aired, but there I was, the curiosity of knowing how the scene I shoot was broadcasted on national tv being a valid reason to tune in on MBC’s channel.

[...]

“Dara had a crush on someone for 22 years…”.

The MC read through his script; my back tensed as soon as I heard my name called. In all honesty I didn’t expect the production to bring this news up.

“…that person is the one sitting beside her---”

“Here it is”. I thought, resting my sulky face on the remote I had in my hands.

“--- Eun Jiwon”. The MC revealed with a huge grin on his face.

I saw myself smiling on the tv screen but at the time I wanted to crawl in a hole in the ground and disappear forever.

“When Sandara was offered to be on Hun Maen Jung Eum she agreed without hesitation. She said that she liked three people on this show: JeA, Joonhyung and Jiwon”. Stated the MC while flipping the pages he held in his right hand.

“Woo~”. The people I mentioned smiled out of content, appearing pretty pleased by my statement.

I gulped as the MC continued to read the interview I had prior to filming, I felt instant regret. I should’ve known better then. Of course, they saw my confession for Jiwon-oppa on Video Star, the episode in question aired a couple of months before shooting Hun Maen Jung Eum.

I remember the day I was casted on that talk show so vividly. I had just started to appear on variety shows and winning a spot as host was one of the biggest accomplishments of that year.

-

“Sandara-ssi, we’re glad to let you know you’ve been casted as a fixed host on the program, congratulations”.

“Ne! I’m grateful for the opportunity given to me, I won’t let you down!”. I closed the call; a sudden burst of energy took over my body as I started doing my “victory dance”.

“Yay~ I’ve been casted Wonjun-ssi~”.

I jumped up and down while holding both of his hands.

“Isn’t It a great day to be Sandara Park’s manager-nim?”. I flashed my best smile and started dancing again, my limbs waving all over the place.

“It’s great Dara-ssi”. He hid his perplexity as to why I was acting like that behind a sheepish smile.

JJangmae-oppa was known for being 2NE1’s manager. YG ent. fired him right after the group disbanded, as we all had our own personal managers. JJangmae-oppa wasn’t just monitoring us, he affirmed himself as an older brother figure, cherishing us when YG sajang-nim scolded our group for not being pretty enough, for not being successful enough. Jjangmae-oppa saw us as people and not products, that’s why, seeing him disappear from our lives so suddenly, left a big hole in our hearts, firing up the resentment towards the unfairness of the decision made by the company.

-

The legendary sunbae-nim, Tony Ahn, member of H.O.T. was invited as guest on the first episode I hosted of Video Star; thinking back it was such a smart move on the production team part to cast me, knowing the relationship I had with Tony-oppa. Milking it created quite a stir, in fact.

Our ambiguous friendship became the main topic soon enough. The guest list included people in the friends circle me and Tony-oppa shared so they knew how to tease and prompt him into revealing what was his stance when it came to our relationship.

“When Dara got drunk, she had the silly idea of putting the bottle’s cap on her eyes, we all happily laughed about it”. JeA-eonni suddenly became a dispenser of embarrassing scenes, and I was the protagonist of them all. Who knew that she’d share other awkward stories about me later, on Hun Man Jung Eum too.  

“Do you know what he said to me? He went - Don’t make her do those things!”.

Tony-oppa clapped his hands, embarrassed.

“I didn’t even tell her to do that!”. JeA-eonni was clearly upset as she stood up from her seat to directly complain with Tony-oppa, who sat right beside her.

“So - he must care about Dara a lot”. Commented Sook-eonni, glancing at me.

He defended himself – “I had such great fantasies about her, I thought it was impossible for her to think about doing so on her own”.

“He really doesn’t know how to date, as he got older, he even became more fearful and shy, he limits himself to observing only - so I told him that if he keeps observing he’ll lose her”. JeA-eonni was obviously determined to unveil every detail of the story.

Hyejong-eonni joined in the mission of collecting every piece of evidence that pointed at Tony-oppa being interested in me.

“That that’s why I suspected him and Sandara! He actually wanted to ask her out, but he lost his timing and Dara reacted passively at it, so you just ended up being friends”.

“Tony-ssi, are you observing Dara-ssi right now?”. Narae filled her role as host, interrogating him like a detective.

“She’s just a girl friend and there is no I way I could develop anything other than that. That is not what I thought when I first met her, who knows what might happen; that’s what I thought” – He replied with honesty.

“Then why did you keep watching her slowly and didn’t go for it right away?” – JeA-eonni spoke up again, interrogating him. She could pass as a host because of the fiery desire to uncover the truth.

A short sigh left Tony-oppa’s mouth. - “At that time, we didn’t have any occasion to meet”.

“So, you guys didn’t have any connection”. Concluded Sook-eonni from the host panel.

“There was documentary about her in Korea back then – I somehow managed to watch it and noticed she was good at singing and dancing, she was also pretty and charming – I made up my mind and wanted to producer the singer Sandara Park”. He revealed proudly, I didn’t know he had such high regards for me as an artist.

He went on saying: “But then an article came out – Sandara signed a contract for YG entertainment”.

“I thought he had been observing her for just a month but it’s been already 15 years!”. Exclaimed JeA-eonni, talking to the cameras, furrowing her brows.

“He is like the man in Old boy”. Eana-eonni commented, poking fun at Tony-oppa. He crossed his arms and laughed off, dumbfounded.

“This oppa really loves you Sandara!”.

I slightly felt uneasy as they kept pushing in that direction, I kept dwelling on how I should react without hurting his feelings as I, unfortunately, didn’t reciprocate.

Narae interrupted the laughter that filled the room until then.

“I don’t know if I should say this right now….”.

The atmosphere on set suddenly changed, a chill danced up my back not knowing what she was going to say.

“...well, Sandara has another man in her heart”. She stated with total seriousness.

“Ack-…” murmured Tony-oppa, with a disappointed look on his face.

“We also know about that”. Commented all the female guests sitting the other side of the room.

“Dara-ssi likes…. Eun Jiwon-ssi!”. Narae slammed her hand on the table as she looked away from the guests. She sure knew how to create a commotion.

I was taken aback, hearing his name all of a sudden made my heart flutter, but I didn’t hold grudges at Narae for revealing it, I somehow felt better because of the burden taken off of my chest.

A multitude of voices quickly started to overlap one another across the room.

“Eh?!  Do you still do?”.

“I knew it!”.

“Yes, she does!”.

“Stop hurting him and say the truth!”.

Tony-oppa’s ears became red, he remained silent at the sudden revelation.

Jiwon-oppa was the leader of another legendary boy-group I loved in my teen years, SECHSKIES. It was a known fact that H.O.T and SECHSKIES were rival groups back in the day. Fans used to scramble with one another for their favorite singers. It sounded funny to think the feud didn’t stop with the music.

“Will your fans fight again for this?”. Hangbo-eonni joked, trying to defuse the situation.

“Leave the girl – there was a SECHSKIES song that went like that!”. Narae referred to the song “Chivalry” perhaps, but I remember the lyrics differently.

“How could I leave you like this?”. Hangbo started to sing SECHSKIES Road Fighter, playing around.

Tony’s soul left his body as he turned on his seat, trying to fleet the situation by facing the wall behind him.

“But Jiwon-oppa doesn’t know about this though – this is the first time I’m saying this”.  I stated looking around the room.

“Ah- is that so?”.

“Since when have you been watching him?”. Sook-eonni’s eyes lit up with interest as she asked me for further information.

“…since 1997”, I muttered before bursting in a fat laugh, my cheeks becoming more and more red as we kept talking about the man I’ve been admiring for such a long time.

“The important thing is if she still likes him even now”. Commented Park Sohyun-ssi.

“Well… recently we’re in the same agency… - I’ve also been to their concert last time and he was so cool”.

I didn’t know how affectionate I sounded before re-watching this scene after the episode aired. My eyes filled with love and admiration as soon as I started to talk about him.

“He looks so tsundere!”. I finished my confession on that note, contented with my own honesty. The thought of him made my heart pit-a-pat hard.

JeA, Hangbo and Eana-eonni turned their backs away from Tony and created a small girl gathering where they started to whisper to one another.

“Tell me something about it”.

“She really likes him”.

“You didn’t know it?”.

“I knew it, but I thought she already put away her feelings”.

I was so relaxed and contented when confessing on that occasion. It was perceived as an innocent crush, something to laugh about during lunch. It only looked like I was a big fan, not a big deal at all.

But on Hun Maen Jung Eum, right beside him? I felt my heart sinking deep. I hated the thought of coming across so insisting and foolishly adoring of him – right in front of him. Revealing how much I payed attention to him recently made me look so hopelessly in love with him. Which I was not.

-

I shook my head and payed attention to the program that was being broadcasted on my tv.

The MC kept reading - “Joonhyung-oppa and Jiwon-oppa have different meaning for me”.

Everyone burst out laughing at my straight forwardness.

The Sandara on the tv started clapping her hands, uselessly trying to hide from the impending embarrassment.

“Joonhyung-oppa feels like a senior while for Jiwon-oppa…”.

“Please don’t say it…”. I begged in front of the tv over and over again, even if perfectly aware of what was going to happen soon after.

“...he really is like a man to me~”.

The guests gazed at me at once and screamed in disbelief, it was a commotion.

“Can I really say something so burdensome?”. The me on the screen blurted out while covering her face with her hands, as if that could prevent the sense of regret from manifesting.

I remember my stomach turning on itself, cold sweat was pouring down my forehead. I tried to control those violent reactions happening inside of me but failed miserably.

“I shouldn’t say burdensome things”. I uttered again while looking away.

“It’s not~”. I could see on my screen that Jiwon-oppa was averting his eyesight while saying so, with a sheepish smile on his face.

JeA-eonni then intervened revealing her testimony too. I realized only then that she knew so many things about me, making her a perfect snitch on the variety shows we participated together.

I was surrounded by my own embarrassment and couldn’t flee in any way. No matter where I looked, there was no way to avoid meeting someone else’s derogatory glare.

“We had finished a schedule together and were at the salon-…” She started, guiding everyone’s attention towards herself.

“…I told Dara I had a schedule with Jiwon-oppa” – She went on.

“Ah ~ Isn’t our Jiwon-oppa perfect?”. She mimicked me perfectly, from the high-pitched tone to the gestures, my jaw dropped to the ground at how accurate it was.

The studio filled with laughter again, so I just got along with the guests’ reaction and chuckled with them.

“Eonniii, why did you reveal that? I thought we were frieeends~”. I whined at the screen, throwing myself on my leather couch. The weight of my words appearing on my chest.

“Wow! Your vocal impression of her is exactly the same!”. Jiwon-oppa jumped out of his seat and exclaimed pointing at JeA-eonni.

“No but, seriously”. She continued.

My only ally was aspiring against me, strength escaped from my extremities, all I could do was witness my own self being torn apart in front of my crush, on national tv no less.

“Dara said that since he changed his hairdo, he looks younger than recent idols”. could feel my heart sink. I didn’t realize how childish my words sounded until someone else said them.

Various text appeared on the screen “Sandara who seems blinded by love”.

“WHY WOULD THEY WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT, AIGOO!”. I protested again, slamming my feet on the couch repeatedly.

I pointed at my tv, complaining about something I couldn’t change. I hid my face behind a small pillow, but I could still view the scene happening in my head, even with my eyes closed shut.

The hosts and guests gave mixed reactions. There were some oh’s and eh’s.

“Isn’t this an exaggeration?”. Jiwon oppa turned his head and referred to me, raising his eyebrow.

At the time I fled his confused gaze creating a wall with my hands in between us. I could not look at him normally, go figures if I had the gut to glance at him in a situation like that.

It was all or nothing, I gulped hard and quickly collected my courage – or what was left of it. What I could do was just go with it and confess altogether before other embarrassing testimonies popped out from nowhere.

I wouldn’t stop blurting about him for years, every time his name left my lips, I witnessed irked expressions on my friends’ faces because of how repetitive and annoying I got. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had prepared other 50 testimonies to demonstrate my total and earnest adoration for him.

“Because he is next to me… I don’t know if I can say this…”. I muttered, keeping my hand-walls between him and me. My cheeks flushing by the minute.

I didn’t get to see his reaction while filming, it was the first time for me to actually watch how he behaved in that situation.

He looked straight in front of him, covering his mouth with one hand and listening attentively to what I was going to declare.

Joonhyung sunbae-nim smiled from to cheek to cheek like a pleased father, earnest to hear about my crush on Jiwon-oppa.

“And why do you like Jiwon-hyung?”. One of the hosts stood up and asked, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you like about him?”. Repeated another female host, her eyes sparkling with great interest.

“Well… he’s handsome”.

“Where did I get the guts to say that in front of him? eottokeeee?”. I facepalmed, feeling second-hand embarrassment for the Dara on screen.

Jiwon-oppa looked away, his cheeks turning red like two big tomatoes as soon as he heard my praises. An innocent smile popped up on his lips, showing the two front teeth he usually tried to hide behind his hands. He kept fidgeting as if he did not know how to put himself. His reaction was similar to the one you’d have when someone sings you “Happy birthday”. All you can do is just witness it and be grateful, even if it’s super-embarrassing.

“Ah~ but last time, from the Pom Saeng Pom Sa era he was like this, he had a tsundere charm”.

I basically repeated what I’ve revealed on Video Star. I refused to unveil more than what was already known to the public, what was revealed was already enough.

“But in real life he’s really kind…” I finished, emphasizing on the word kind.

I knew because of the You tube date that took place a year prior. Even if he looked cold and uninterested on the outside, he was quite comforting and soft-spoken once you got to know him.

am i really saying this out loud?

I felt dumbfounded, my body wanting to explode under the constant pressure I experienced throughout the conversation.

The MC spoke up, “Did you know about her feelings?”. He asked directly to Jiwon to keep the hype up.

I finally had the strength to look at him, anticipating his response. I was curious as to how he’d react.

He sat up, reuniting his hands, and looked around the studio.

“Well...uh”. He stuttered.

He rotated his whole body towards the MC who was questioning him - “22 years sounds like an exaggeration, but… when SECHKIES reunited, she came to the concert and cheered for us”,  he indicated me with his left hand, avoiding turning my direction.

“I also really like 2NE1, because of that, I also felt really nervous and fluttering feeling…”. He finished on a high note, not giving any hints and directing the topic elsewhere, perfectly gaining control over the conversation.

“YAH, it’s weirder because you are saying it so gently!”, lamented Joonhyung sunbae-nim jumping out of his sit and pointing at Jiwon-oppa.

“YOUR TONE IS WEIRD!”. Shouted the male host.

Jiwon-oppa was known for his straight-forwardness and bold way of speaking. Him suddenly being soft-spoken caused agitation on set.

“I’ve had enough!” I whimpered. I reached for the remote to try to turn off the tv.

“YOU’RE SO STUBBORN, DAMN REMOTE”.

I hit it against the arm of the couch until the tv finally turned off.

“I gets more embarrassing the more I watch it…”, I murmured under my breath, the scene kept playing in my head in loop, line a broken record.

I got up and glanced outside my window, I really could use some fresh air to calm myself up. It was a chilly night of August, there wasn’t much movement on the street in front of my apartment.

did I really manage to say those things?

I moved towards the kitchen as I craved a big cup of green tea, maybe that could have helped with calming my nerves.

I stretched my arm to get a hold of the teabags in the cupboard on my left and patiently waited for the water to boil. The only sounds that could be heard in my flat were the ones coming from the water bubbling up in the boiler and my long and deep sighs.

I shook my head hoping to erase my memories but the mocking laugh and mixed reaction from that one episode echoed in my ears.

I was used to narrate over the top stories adding my own flare to them, it became my trademark. I was Sandara Park, the former member of 2NE1 and the one in charge of portraying absurd stories in my cutesy way.

That was different. I could already see the whole world looking down own me. The riot in my stomach was just a sign of how affected I felt because of that matter.

A week had passed from the original airing date of the episode, but I still had a hard time overcoming that river of thoughts that washed me up like a giant tsunami.

~ brbrbrbrbrbr~ tic ~

The boiler had accomplished its work. I sat on a stool in front of the island counter and started to pour the water in my red mug. It appeared as a regular mug to the eyes of strangers, but it had meaning to me.

-

Chaerin had gifted it to me when she returned from L.A. to visit. It was a hard time for her, she wouldn’t tell me at first so I invited her to stay over at my house for a couple of days; only the thought of her going through a difficult time alone made my heart shutter in a million pieces.

I started to use the mug any chance I could to demonstrate her that I appreciated her thought, a small smile would appear on her face whenever she saw me sipping from it. That same smile was like a minuscule gap in the enormous wall she was trying so hard to build around herself.

We sat right there, in front of the counter, when she revealed her honest thoughts. Her voice started trembling as she confessed to me that she wished to leave YG ent., the agency we worked together for the past 13 years. Small teardrops would fall onto the counter, forming a small puddle. I squeezed her for an unreasonable amount of time, feeling her body shudder against mine every time she sobbed. Her warmth against my skin it’s what I reminisced when sipping a hot beverage out of that L.A. red mug.

She then returned in the U.S, far from the mistreatment she received in the motherland. I couldn’t blame her because she was right. She had every right to do so and so did I. The difference between us was that she was stronger than me.

My home suddenly looked like a big cage where a lonely rabbit hops in search for an exit that doesn’t exist.

i am that rabbit.

Dadoong meowed, as if wanted to talk back to me.

“You’re not alone as long as I’m here”, something like that. Or maybe he was just hungry, that was probably the case.

I kneeled on the wooden floor and started caressing his smooth fur. “Mian~ I almost forgot about you, my cutie~”. I whispered to him.

“meowww~”. He responded closing his small like buttons yes.

“I hope that means that you’ve forgiven me haha~”.

I replenished his bowl with cat food, the sound of his paws on the wood was quite adorable. I smiled looking at him eating peacefully.

I stood up and took the mug, blowing on the hot tea to take it to a reasonable drinking temperature.

With the corner of my eyes I noticed a couple of notifications popping up on my cellphone’s screen. I slowly but steadily got towards the couch, trying hard not to tip over the tea. There was a small coffee table in front of me where I had placed my cellphone prior. I left the mug on it and picked up the phone.

I hummed – “mhh- I wonder what they’re saying about me on SNS”.

I scrolled through the news of Naver, the infamous Hun Maen Jung Eum confession being in second and third place in the “most researched” list.

“ Sandara Park Admits To Having A Crush On SECHSKIES’s Eun Ji Won For The Past 22 Years ”

I pressed on the article and started scrolling down to look at the comments beneath it.

[+510 – 2] Aww he looks so flustered, so cute ~

[+ 436 -29] Does she not know he’s a divorcee?

[+386 – 5] I hope they start dating after this~ ㅋㅋㅋ

[+203 – 76] I wonder how awkward it is between them now

[+105 – 2] Isn’t it obvious that he doesn’t like her?

[+57– 46] She is such a boring person, no wonder he doesn’t take interest in her.

[+48 – 9] ㅎㅎㅎ she confessed to have dated many celebrities and now claims to be in love with Eun Jiwon for 22 years, what a b*tch

 “Ahh, i would’ve been better off without reading this huhu~”.

The malicious comments pierced right through my confidence, unveiling all my insecurities.

It is the harsh reality, one can’t possibly hope to be liked by everyone, still, those words were like salt on an open wound. I already felt vulnerable, as if someone stole my umbrella during a storm. All the opinions were painful waterdrops cascading on my head. A few do not hurt you but one after another they lead you to madness.

I’ve had been in this harsh industry for over 10 years, but I admitted to being still too vulnerable mentally to sustain the weight of words spouted at me.

A tear travelled lonely down my cheek as I threw the cellphone down on the couch, disappointed.

I already knew he perceived me as a hoobae and not as a woman, I was aware of that. That was exactly why I was so bothered by how I came off on tv. I disliked the idea that he would think of me as a delusional fool.

I sniffed and wiped off the tear with the long sleeve of my checkered pajama.

I enjoyed admiring him from afar, supporting him without being an annoyance, liking him without the risk of getting burned. I fangirled over him with all my girl friends, as if I were a 15-year-old again but deep inside I knew my liking to him had gone a bit further than just an innocent teen crush.

I knew he had divorced too; I was crushed at the thought of him suffering like that. Witnessing the love of a lifetime whiter with his own two eyes. How could people judge him for that?

love is not easy.

nothing is.

For work I was often surrounded by handsome celebrities who wouldn’t hesitate to confess their crushes on me, I’ve always managed to keep my cool and stay professional but there I was, my hands would tremble anytime Jiwon-oppa appeared in the same room, my body flinched anytime he’d touch me, even if inadvertently. I couldn’t control the redness from expanding on my cheeks when he talked to me.

behave self.

It wasn’t news that I dated a couple of celebrities since my debut, I even revealed how we met for dates on the same episode I confessed to Jiwon-oppa. It was thrilling to hide from the reporters, every relationship felt like a spy movie.

Those romance weren’t exactly k-drama worthy. Most of the times I was just a price to be won, I knew it deep down. It wasn’t anything more than a way to fill the silence in my flat with the pounding on the walls. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that they loved me as much as I did, I was only a side event for when they were lonely.

Looking back, I wasn’t proud of my behavior. He gave me attention and I conceded him my body. I could feel his warm skin against mine, but when placing my ear to his chest, I didn’t hear his heart thumping. Relationship after relationship, the result didn’t change. Blinded by need for company I kept making the same mistake over and over again.

Bom-eonni once found me crying after one broke up with me. Reason being, he had enough of our relationship. He wasn’t wrong, it was me who expected it to be more than it actually was and ended up being disappointed.

“You’ll get hurt, please stop”. I remember her squeezing me until I implored her to stop, that eonni always ignored my weak build every time she embraced me.

“Dara don’t do this. Please”. She begged on the phone countless times because seeing me hurt like that was torture for her. She started to stay over at my place in case the man I was seeing decided to harass me.

I put a hold on dating after that, I gained control of my vulnerability for once.

Silence returned in my flat.

the life of an idol is quite lonely.

~parararing parararing - parararing parararing ~

“Dara-eonni ~ are you busy? how are you doing?”.

It was Chaerin-ah who called me.

“Hi Chaerin-ah ~ I’m doing fine… have you eaten yet? Don’t worry, I’m just chilling - I feel so tired.... ah~”.

“Honestly, lately I’ve lost my appetite”.

“How come? Force yourself to eat, even just an apple”.

I suddenly reminisced our trainee days. I was so thin compared to the other members; YG sajang-nim decided to put them all on a diet. I still felt guilty; there was nothing I could do because that was just how my body was built. I offered myself to diet alongside them, not to make them feel lonely but Bom-eonni whined at me – “You’re already so skinny, what’s the use of dieting Dara-yah?!”.

We were dubbed as ugly girl group, YG sajang-nim was the first one to call us that.  The pressure of being pretty weighted on us whenever we made a public appearance beside other girls groups or ate something that had more than 200 calories.

She ignored my advice and went on - “How do you feel?”.

“Uh? Me? I’m just fin-“.

She interrupted me – “Come on! Dara-eonni! Bom-eonni told me about you and Jiwon sunbae-nim!”. Her tone seemed pretty serious.

Moving to L.A. made it harder for Chaerin to get a hold of the news regarding entertainment in Korea. That was probably why she heard about it from someone else and got upset.

I really didn’t want to talk about that matter. I already wanted to bury myself under 6 feet of dirt and I did not want her to feel second-hand embarrassment because of my actions.

“Ah~ Chaerin-ah... I didn’t know what to do so I just went along with it... huhu~ Is it that bad?”. I asked, full of anticipation.

“It’s ok eonni, really. He’ll think of it as a joke and you’ll both laugh about it when you two will meet again”.

I really hoped that was the case; we acknowledged each other but didn’t have any opportunity to develop our friendship.

“Huhu Chaerin-ah~ Are people going to think I’m a crazy lady that keeps a Jiwon-oppa shrine in front of her bed? I read so many malicious comments…Will he avoid me after this?”.

“I knew this would bother you, that’s why I called - Dara-eonni, you should’ve told me sooner, you know I’m here for you”.

She was right. I was bothered, but I hated asking for help. Opening up became so much harder since we all moved out from the dorm we shared. If we had secrets to reveal, we would invade Bom-eonni’s room to gossip between ourselves. We used to sit on the floor to whisper about crushes and things we witnessed during music shows.

Everything I did made me reminisce the time I spent with 2NE1; I forever cherished the warmth that came being so close with the members.

“Ah~ Chaerin-ah~ Thanks for calling me”.

-

I sipped the green tea that was waiting for me on the wooden coffee table, my brows furrowed as my lips touched the cold beverage.

“Even the tea became cold… huhu~”.

I slumped back on the couch. All I wanted to do was to avoid him, as if he was pestilence himself, I didn’t want for things to get weird - I wasn’t ready to enter YG’s building only to have Teddy-oppa or Jiyong make fun of me in front of him.

~ ting ~

I remembered the real reason I actually searched for my phone in the first place; I had to check the notifications.

“Dara-ssi, I’ll fetch you tomorrow at 10 o’clock to escort you to the agency”. It was manager-nim who wrote a couple of messages to remind me of my schedule for the week.

I felt dumbfounded as I remembered Suwon-oppa telling me that Sechskies were starting to record tracks for their future comeback that day. There was no way I could avoid him when we worked in the same workplace.

I drowned my face in the pillow sitting on my couch and heaved a long sigh –

i am doomed.

 next chapter.  ⋆  masterlist. 

[2old4kpop]

15 Underrated Girly Kpop Songs That Make Me Go Absolutely Feral

When it comes to girl groups, more than anything I am a Blackjack and Blink. I like to listen to girl songs that make me want to murder men (and believe me, that blog post is in the works). But I’m also a ONCE, as TWICE are my sweet darling babies, but they’re about as girly as I can tolerate. I’m not one for the super girly concepts. I mean, did you guys ever see MINX? Occasionally I ironically jam to Shakey Love Shakey Shakey Shakey Shakey Love, but it was an absolute blessing from the K-pop gods to rebrand them as Dreamcatcher. It’s really only the A-list girly songs I tolerate, like GFriend or Oh My Girl. Everything else below them just seems really cringy.

Except for a few chosen few that are so good that they make me absolutely lose all of my shits. And I’m talking about songs that nobody seems to know like at all. Either these songs came out when the groups were still under the radar, before they had their big smash hits, or they just never seemed to rise to the top. But they are still valid and important. Videos are linked in the song names, since Tumblr won’t let me add more than five videos, but here we go.

15. April- Dream Candy

April is one of those rare groups that pull off the girly concept so well but don’t ever seem forced, like they are just truly naturally sweet and pure and precious. Honestly all of their songs are great, and it’s tragic that they haven’t had a comeback in 2019. But their debut, Dream Candy, is the one that really gets deep in my soul to that animal part of my brain that makes me scream this god damn chorus. But only really at the end. I never really listened to this song until it came on shuffle one day when I was walking home in the rain, and thought, why not listen to this awkward girly song, and then the last chorus hit and OH MY GOD. It’s a good one guys.

14. Momoland- Jjan! Koong! Kwang!

So this song comes out by some unknown group called uh, Momoland?, with a title that is just a bunch of sounds that don’t exist in English, and I felt like I was the only one on Earth that was like, “This is fine.” I was honestly in some I Am Legend universe where instead of me being the only living person on Earth, I was the only one that liked Momoland’s debut. As time went on Momoland started putting out what is pretty much some of the worst K-Pop that exists (I mean, have you SEEN the video for Wonderful Love? Try not to cringe challenge) and sadly enough this group just faded into obscurity and never had any huge, Earth shattering hits or anything. 

13. DIA- My Friend’s Boyfriend

On paper this song is awful. I mean it’s a song about being a petty bitch who has decided to steal their friend’s boyfriend, hence the title. Also the song ads cute little quirks like *squints eyes to read this metaphorical paper closer* coughing. Also the video has an unnecessarily long intro. But believe me when I tell you that this is an absolute slapper.

12. Gugudan- Wonderland

It’s a crime that Gugudan has never really hit it off, even with two I.O.I members. Their debut has this amazing Little Mermaid concept and believe me when I tell you that this chorus is best when screamed at the top of your lungs. After all the screaming I am basically in a manic state by the la la la’s.

11. LOONA 1/3- Love&Live

You’ll notice that the main theme of this list is that the choruses are absolute fire. But this one comes in and basically knocks the wind out of me with sweetness, like some kind of aegyo Kool-Aid man. It’s really the music that does it for me in this one, along with the melody, along with Heejin’s perfect high note. If this song doesn’t make you smile then you are a robot, like ViVi. 

10. Shannon Williams- Why Why

If Ant and/or Dec were here, they would hear this song and definitely say that Britain’s Got Talent. Shannon is the British IU,hands down, undeniably, I will not be taking questions at this time. But it’s very sad that her career was nonexistent after this came out. Was it the fact that this features a sixteen-year-old grinding against faceless boys? Or that this video widely revolves around her intensely stalking someone? It can’t be the song because that is perfect. 

9. AOA- Bingle Bangle

Okay so some history for those non-Elvises out there. AOA was THE HOTTEST girl group for a good minute, with so many timeless collaborations with the Brave Brothers that really changed the shape of female K-Pop for a while. And then ChoA left the group. And without the only member who could actually sing the face of the group, AOA kind of went quiet, save for a few Jimin solo songs. Then AOA came back with a new sound, and while everyone else thought it was terrible, I thought it was a bop! And I love the video and the concept! And the dance for this is so fun. Bingle Bangle is a real yes for me dawg. It’s only too bad that they lost yet another member and their concept was handed off to FNC’s new girl group. Speaking of which...

8. Cherry Bullet- Really Really

Yeah so they literally gave this entire “girls in a video game but it’s fun and cute” concept to Cherry Bullet, and they hit the ground running with it. This comeback in particular is my favorite of theirs because it hits one of my favorite pop music tropes: Having A Funky Instrumental Chorus, Only At The End To Put Words Over The Music. It ticks all my boxes.

7. Rainbow- Whoo

If you ever wanted to hear a song that made you scream “RAAAAIIINBOOW AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” then this is it. At this point in this list we start to hear the songs that make me truly insane, and this song absolutely destroys me. It’s really sad, however, that this is basically Rainbow’s swan song, as it was their last song before disbandment. 

6. Matilda- Macarena

I bet you haven’t even HEARD of Matilda. I bet you didn’t even KNOW that MATILDA just DISBANDED a FEW MONTHS AGO because ALL THEIR SONGS WERE BAD except for THIS ONE which is just full of CHAOTIC GOOD ENERGY and if you don’t ENJOY THIS then GET OFF MY LAWN. 

5. Berry Good- Angel

Berry Good was destined to be one of those girl groups, like Matilda, that came from a tiny company and was just given bad songs and were set up to fail. So they crowdfunded, and somehow made two incredible comebacks, Don’t Believe (which is a whole other story that we won’t get into today, but it’s an amazing song that you should check out) and prior to that, Angel. I don’t even know where to begin with this song because it literally makes me forget who I am and why I exist. It’s a banger?? This song starts off so soft and pure and jumps right into a chorus that makes you bang your head and scream “I TAKE A CHANCE, YOU NEVER KNOW” as loud as possible. And right when you think you can’t take it anymore, that you are gasping for air because you are drowning in perfection, THEY GO EVEN HARDER. Like, girls, you did not need to go that hard. Holy shit. They go full IU in Good Day. I don’t know why we were blessed with this, especially since after this all their other songs have been garbage, and they’ve been so unsuccessful that they lost their strongest member and they’re heading for disbandment. But we have this gem, and I’m thankful for it.

4. 4Minute- Heart To Heart

Back when 4Minute was just another 2NE1 clone, trying to compete in the market of “Girls Who Look Tough But Are Actually Sweet” 4Minute, aka The HyunA Group, put out this. Third Geners, this is what Second Gen was all about. This is the meaning of Christmas, Charlie Brown. This song is everything. It’s perfect. And it’s too bad that 4Minute didn’t really stick with this sound, but also not, since with their more mature concept they wound up getting pretty famous once Park Bom... I mean, we’re not gonna talk about it. 

3. Hyolyn- Bae

Okay so I know that Hyolyn as an entity is not technically considered underrated, but her entire solo career is being slept on and I don’t understand. With Sistar gone, and now Red Velvet carrying the torch for summer anthems, Hyolyn doesn’t necessarily have to give us one of the best summer songs of all time but she did. Every second of this song to me is perfect. And yeah okay I’ll admit it, I am a Gay, I am attracted to women, and Hyolyn is a lot of. A lot of wow. She and HyunA are exactly my type, and this video is a lot. But the SONG you guys. It’s so much that I told even regular people who listen to English music to listen to this song. They didn’t, of course, because the world doesn’t appreciate Hyolyn like I would, I mean like I do as a fan and nothing else. This song was my summer anthem in 2018, Power Up wishes it was this good.

2. BESTie- Thank U Very Much

One of the things that really got me into K-Pop during the Second Gen was that it sounded so much like pop music from my youth. This is gonna sound weird, but I grew up in a Wiccan Neo-Pagan household where 90% of the music we listened to was traditional Celtic or New Age, and if it was ever anything else it was like The Beatles (my Mom and her sisters were one of those screaming and fainting Beatles fans, the trait that was clearly passed down to me, based on what happened when I saw G-Dragon live, but that’s another story) or ABBA, or any kind of British/European pop/rock from the 70s or 80s. So once I was old enough to really find out what kind of music I liked, I dived deep into cheesy pop songs like S Club 7, Britney Spears, and the like. But I always had a soft spot for ABBA. The melodies, the music, the strange lyrics that didn’t really make sense or weren’t quite grammatically correct but it worked. I feel like that love for obscure pop, along with the 90s and early 2000s bubblegum pop, pushed me right into the K-Pop scene. And this song is the best example of that kind of weird melody with oddly used English words, but it works in the best way. The chorus of this song sounds like it was written by ABBA. The ending of this song is transcendent. Tell me you can’t picture a Korean Meryl Streep in overalls singing the ending of this song while dancing on a beach. This song makes me lose all my shits. But I do have to say that this video is uh, Not Good, especially compared with how amazing the song is. But these underrated bottom of the barrel groups don’t have much to work with in the first place, so we can’t really fault them. This song holds up, and is going to hold up for a very long time. I stan.

1. Laboum- Shooting Love

So like I said before, I don’t typically like the super sugary, super tacky, super girly girl concepts. BUT I LOVE LABOUM. ALL their girly sweet songs are AMAZING. They somehow get everything right, in their own unique way. They’re not at all like “Oh, they’re like GFriend”, “Oh, that’s like Lovelyz” or anything, if you get what I’m saying. Laboum had their own cheesy yet perfect style of girly. Aalow Aalow: A CLASSIC. Journey To Atlantis: A CLASSIC. Hwi Hwi: A CLASSIC. Only U: YES YOU GUESS IT, CLASSIC. Sugar Sugar: DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN. I could have made this whole list with just Laboum songs. So I made myself pick one by listening to as many old Laboum songs as I could before I would become an absolutely menace to society, as I am not responsible for my actions after listening to so much girly perfectlon at once. If I was arrested and went to court for I dunno, causing distress and mayhem to the citizens of my city, my lawyer would call it “the Laboum defense.” “You see, Your Honor, my client listened to a lot of Laboum songs, and lost control of themselves and became an entity, a ball of energy, a comet destroying everything in its path while screaming cheesy Korean lyrics.” And I would be set free, of course, because who wouldn’t lose themselves completely to the power of Laboum? But anyway I picked Shooting Love, as it puts me in a manic state from the very intro until the last second. And let me just say now that I deeply mourn this old Laboum, as they came back in 2018 with a new concept that makes them sound lobotomized compared to their old sound. Like slow R&B is fine, but compared to this it’s drab and slow and dull and I hate it. I Hate It. Bring back cute Laboum in 2020, or at least study Apink if you want to see how to properly change an aging cute group into a mature group. I could go on, but now I have the urge to listen to more Laboum. You’ll see me on the evening news tonight, I’m sure.

anyway 안녕