#it had just occurred to me that everyone probably just assumed they were dating

[sapphic-bats]

She says it, and Luca freezes.

“What did you say?”

Giulia twists her lips down into a frown, one she wears often when she’s puzzled.

“I know, I said.”

Two weeks away from their ride back to Portorosso, and Luca was beginning to panic — just a little. He’d dragged Giulia off into her Mamà’s garden, lush and green and spotted with roses (he recognized them best of all), and swore her into secrecy.

Luca was at a loss for words. “What do you mean, ‘you know’?”

Giulia scoffed. “Luca, you’re not as secretive as you’d like to think you are,” she blows a strand of curly, red hair out of her face and shrugs. “Papà and I knew you were hiding something from the moment you sat down for dinner.”

Luca scrunches his nose. “What? No,” he shakes his head. “I’m not talking about us being sea monsters.”

“Neither am I,” Giulia replied, lightning fast. “Papà and I assumed that you and Alberto were just hiding the fact that you were an item.”

At the blatant look of desperate confusion on the poor boy’s face, Giulia rephrased.

“A thing?” Nothing; no reaction, and no understanding. “Like, a couple?”

“A couple of what?”

“Dating, Luca! We thought you were dating.”

After a long moment, Luca squinted. “Dating who?”

“Santa pecorino- Luca,” she pressed her hands together before her lips and exhaled. “We both assumed that your little segreto was that you and Alberto were dating each other.”

Luca’s face went pink, and she knew it wasn’t sunburn. He couldn’t sunburn. Especially not that quickly. “What?”

Giulia nodded. “Which, apparently, you weren’t. I know that now.”

“You’ve known for a while, right?”

A pause. “I know that now.”

He couldn’t believe it. “You thought that- that we—” his cheeks burned. “This whole time?”

“What else was I supposed to think? You two weren’t exactly subtle.”

“Apparently we weren’t obvious either!” He pressed a hand to his face, hoping that cold blood would cool him down. He’d learned that in biology, but it seemed that his blood was versatile between The Change.

“Well? What does it matter?” Giulia shrugged again, earnestly. “You like him now.”

“I’ve liked him the whole time, Giulia!” He facepalmed, this time. “I just didn’t know!”

“Well, then, I could have saved you a whole lot of time, couldn’t I?”

The silence that fell over them both — Luca stewing in the sheer astonishment and laugh-less hilarity of it all, and Giulia waiting for him to buck up and speak again — was like cool waves over the undertow.

Finally, Luca drew in a deep breath, and spoke around the hands slapped to his face.

“What am I gonna do?”

Giulia, despite how Luca felt, let a small smile rise on her face. Looping an arm around his shoulders, she pulled him closer.

“You’ll figure it out. You both will.”

Two weeks later, when Luca got off that train, he did. Alberto did, too. The pieces fell into place, and suddenly, there was nothing left to hide.

[httpseungmxn]

Youthful Changes

Song Mingi x Reader(afab) 

Authors notes ;

This is dedicated to the biggest Mingi super fan I know, and also the love of my life, Kaizen ��� 

Warnings ; smut, pwp, thigh-riding, degradation, dom!mingi x sub!reader

Triggers ; Slight Violence/Blood/father fighting son

This is my first time writing on here, and I was really nervous about posting this, so I apologize if there are any grammatical errors !

Sat in the car now, I attempt to remember everything that just occured in a matter of mere minutes.

It all had started when I, as well as my sisters, had been invited to a family get-together. However it wasn't our personal family. It was family we knew from when my mother dated my step-dad. It had to be well over ten years that we had seen them now, so getting an invite from them was a surprise to all of us. 

Thinking back to that time period, the woman and man we were decently close with in my child years had been always so kind to us. Allowing us to accompany them on trips, and stay at their house whenever we had trouble with our heater. However the boy they called their son was almost always nowhere to be seen. 

They always claimed that he would be in his room gaming, outside with friends, or even at school. I never believed it though, because as soon as we left to go back home, I'd pass his window and see him staring. Probably glad that us strangers were finally leaving. Ready to finally leave that mess he called a room, and do whatever he wanted to do.

Back to the current years, we never heard from them. I'm sure they thought about us, as we thought about them. However no one ever made an effort to reach out to each other. Well, until now that is.

Though, due to what happened here today, I doubt we'll be seeing them for a while again. Especially not the father. He seemed so angry when I was saying goodbye and walking out the front door. I could tell something was going to happen as soon as my body was out the door.

It all started when everyone was outside, talking with each other about what they had done over the years and how they had been. I always hated socializing, and finding a quiet place to chill was always my specialty. Though the only quiet place I could find, happened to be the couch in the livingroom.

Thats where I first saw him, for the first time in over ten years. He had grown quite a lot, and had a whole makeover. His skin a beautiful honey tone, and his hair as black as coal. I was startled when I saw him. Never once did I ever expect to see this boy, no, this man outside of his room while we were all over.

I slowly walked over to the couch and sat at the end, which unfortunately wasn't very far from him, since he decided to sprawl out right in the middle. I stared at the tv, feeling rather awkward because I didn't truly know how to interact with him anymore.

When I did muster the courage to glance over, he was staring at his phone and texting someone, I assumed it was his bestfriend or his girlfriend.

As soon as he saw me looking at him, a deep scowl came onto his lips and he tilted his phone away, “ don't you know its rude to stare at peoples phones. ”, the voice came out deep and almost made me jump. That was definitely not something I expected.

I somehow had dropped my phone in the process and got off the couch, kneeling to grab it from where it had landed. Just inches away from his boot. Glancing up at him briefly out of fear that he'd be even more annoyed or might even kick me.

What I didn't expect was the faint smirk on his lips, while he looked down on me like I was a bug he could squash.

Tensing as his boot moved forward right between my legs and up under my skirt. Letting out a soft gasp when I felt the boot press against my most sensitive area. “ are you crazy?! ”

Rolling his eyes and looking away, he pat his lap, “ get up. ”

I looked at him with wide eyes. Oh yeah, he was definitely crazy. “ no! You're insane ”, I hissed out at him, worried that someone would hear and think we were fighting. We were both into our twenties, so I don't know why I was worried that we'd be scolded lile children.

Grabbing my chin between his thumb and finger, he narrowed his eyes at me for a moment, “ I said, get up. ”

I gulped, nervous by this new interaction with him, scared of how close he was to me because I'd never been this close to a boy before. Doing as he said, and climbing onto his lap. Resting on his right thigh, looking away from him almost immediately. My ears were probably red and my face was hot from embarrassment. 

Letting out another soft gasp when I feel him start to move my hips, looking down to his thigh as he makes me ride it. Trying not to let out any noises that would alarm people and cause suspicion. My hand coming up to cover my mouth, slowly allowing myself to move instead of him pushing me along slowly. 

Eyes instantly shutting when the fabric of his jeans brushes my clit just right through the panties I'm wearing.

“ Wow, you must be a slut. I haven't done hardly anything to you, yet you're already soaked. ”, embarrassed by his words, hiding my face with my hand.

Letting out a startled noise when I'm pressed down on the floor suddenly, staring up at him scared. What was he going to do? Would he yell for everyone to come in and tell them that I had thrown myself onto him? Would he run to his father and tell him he never wanted us over again?

I was greeted with the exact opposite of either of those though as he spoke up. “  keep quiet, slut, I don't feel like getting yelled at today. ”, nodding slowly at his words, still trying to process all of this.

Moaning suddenly when I feel a bulge in his jeans press just right against my clothed pussy. “ I told you to keep quiet. ”, muttering a soft apology to him while covering my mouth quickly.

Staring up at him shyly as he slowly begins to grind the bulge against my clothed pussy. Slow and sensual movements to make everything feel right. And everything did feel right. So much that I could feel myself drifting to cloud nine.

Eyes rolling back slowly, hand dropping from my mouth and coming up to grab at his shirt. Just as a moan was about to leave my lips, his hand quickly came down over my mouth. Moaning into his hand as the grinding sped up.

This was way better than the grinding I'd do on my pillow here and there in the darkness of my bedroom when everyone was asleep.

This was mind-blowing, and something I could quickly get used to. Though, I doubt I would be able to get used to it if we continued to stay in circumstances such as this one. Keeping quiet as he dry humps me with our families right outside the back door. 

Mingi looked up to said door for a moment when he heard a voice but looked down to me almost instantly when the person walked away. I took the time to admire him as he fucked me while fully-clothed. He really had changed a lot since the last time, and I was starting to like the change.

I also had the thought of, if this is what it felt when clothed, how would it feel when naked? Would he ever treat me to something like that? Maybe I could get a ride up here sometime when his parents were away for a business trip or on vacation for an anniversary.

Those thoughts were knocked out of my head when my orgasm hit me like a train. Eyes rolling back, moaning his name against his hand. Looking back up to mingi to see the look on his face as he hit his peak as well.

Eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed from the extreme pleasure, mouth open as though he were going to groan but nothing coming out.

Letting out a soft sigh when he finally pulls away, sitting back on the couch and helping me up. My legs were shaky as I went to sit down, but I never got the chance because my sister was telling me we were leaving.

Saying my goodbye to the wife and husband, sparing mingi a longing glance in hopes that maybe he was feeling the same way as me. And luckily I was, he was staring at me with a faint smirk, and with a nod of his head I was walking out the door.

Thats when things must've gotten bad, because I could hear yelling and thudding as soon as I was outside. Worried but following along when my sister told me to hurry. Letting out a soft yelp when a loud thud is heard on the window next to me. The window of mingi's room

Staring at the sight scared and worried. Mingi was pressed against the window, his nose dripping blood. He didn't look scared of sad though, he still had a smirk on his lips and I knew he'd be alright when he winked at me. Hearing the door behind him shut, I felt relief flood into me knowing that the man had left him be. 

Looking back to him one last time and blushing when I see him staring at me still, eyeing me up one last time before he waved at me. Waving back shyly and quickly walking to the car.

That lead us back to this current moment, on our way home, mind never leaving the thoughts of the boy and what we had done in his livingroom. I wondered if his dad knew and that's why he was angry, but I was confused on how he would've found out when they were outside the whole time. My eyes widening in horror when I think of the cameras they had all over their beautiful house and the tablet in his hands that always alerted him of sudden movement in the house.

Cheeks lighting red when I think of the thought of the man having gotten an alert about mingi pinning me to the ground and dry humping me there. It would be embarrassing if I had to see his father ever again, especially in the near future.

My thoughts are jumbled when I get a text on my phone, and just as the blush on my cheeks leaves, it comes right back. Staring at the photo I had gotten, it was Mingi, sat at his desk with his shirt up to show off the bulge he had with a little text below it that said, “ don't think we're done just yet, slut. ”

Song Mingi was a wild card and I'd be happy to play the game anyday.

Authors end notes ; I don't know why its so spaced out, I'm really sorry for that 😭

Tell me if you want a part two or more ateez oneshots !

[monsta-x-jagi]

Crown and Chrome - Chapter 1

Synopsis: How you meet Kihyun for the first time, in the past and in the present when he comes back to you

Word count: 3.9k

Triggers: none

Author’s notes: MX members are all different ages, assume seasons occur like in the southern hemisphere

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Present

You glanced at the photo frames on Hyungwon’s desk as he looked over the papers you just handed him. Cherub cheeked smiling faces looked back at you, much like the round cheeks Hyungwon had. Hyungwon’s children, whom you had met several times and even bought Christmas presents for.

“Miss y/n, are you busy this weekend?” Hyungwon asked, without looking up from his papers.

“Aside from your party, no. Was there anything you needed?”

“Yes, actually,” he said, finally looking up at you. “Go on a date.”

You looked back at him, confused. “Oh um I wasn’t aware you were…”

“Of course it’s not for me,” he groaned. “It's for you. I want you to go on a date this weekend.”

You had a similar conversation with the two Mr Lees on the executive team. Currently, you three were milling about in the break room.

“Y/n, when are we getting invitations for your wedding?” Lee Minhyuk asked. 

“I don’t know, how much notice do you require?”

Minhyuk groaned and Lee Hoseok laughed at your reply. 

“Y/n, the only notice we’ve been getting is how badly your dates fail,” Hoseok said. 

“Yeah, y/n, live life a little bit,” Minhyuk said while he raised his coffee mug in a toast. 

Minhyuk and Hoseok had recently become architectural directors after being at your company for as long as you can remember. But in the time they climbed the corporate ladder, you jumped up several rungs when you inherited a majority share holding in MX Property Development. Prior to that, you were the head of legal affairs, but now you dealt with all the executive jobs your mother left you after she jetted off to the Seychelles or French Curacao or somewhere. 

Mr Son, another member of the MX executive team, drifted into the break room.

“Hi there y/n,” he said as he reached for some protein powder in a nearby cabinet.

“Damn, Hyunwoo, you’re hitting the gym that early today?” You asked as you pointed at the microwave clock.

Hyunwoo shrugged. “Yeah why not? Plus, if you join me, I could introduce you to someone who could be your date this weekend.”

You groaned. “Did Hyungwon tell everyone about that?”

Hoseok, the older of the two Mr Lees, laughed. “The entire executive team knows the only time you got close to marriage was looking at my son’s prenup.”

Minhyuk smirked and added, “And the time you hit on that fashion designer shamelessly after a meeting is probably the second closest you’ve ever been to marriage.”

“YAH!!!” You cried and smacked him. “I’ve been in long term relationships before, okay?”

Another voice floated to the break room as Hyungwon walked in. “With all due respect y/n, six months sleeping with some biker when you were nineteen is not a long term relationship.” 

The others in the room chortled loudly at that.

“You’re lucky my mother hired you, and not me,” you growled, even though you knew Hyungwon meant no harm.

“You can’t fire me anyways, when I’ve already handed in my retirement notice,” Hyungwon chuckled. “You better bring a date this weekend okay?”

“50 bucks says she doesn’t,” Minhyuk giggled and Hoseok muttered “deal” in response.

You rolled your eyes. “Sometimes I wonder if I should do some restructuring at this firm.” 

As you rode home that night, on your motorcycle, your mind wandered to thoughts about the biker Hyungwon mentioned. That biker was the man who ruined all other men for you. You first met him while walking through some of the outer piers at the harbour, lined with abandoned, rusting warehouses. He had refurbished one to use as his garage and tinker on bikes with. It had been several years since then, and the warehouses had been replaced by restaurants and a bustling marina which you (or rather your mum’s firm) owned after redeveloping it. The marina and some remnants of the old harbour could be seen from the windows in your office at MX Property Development. You’d be lying if you said you never stared out of the windows for extended periods of time.

Today, you stopped by your favourite restaurant at the marina. The business had changed owners a few times, but each owner and their staff got to know you quickly. They knew your usual order (hot chips with aioli, and keep it coming), and your favourite seat (by the window, in the westernmost corner). So naturally, you were ushered there, your food was brought out within minutes, and you began pondering what Hyungwon said today.

The Past

It was the summer after graduating high school, and you accompanied your mother on a site visit to an area she was considering redeveloping. You were tired of staying home doing nothing, and your university classes wouldn’t begin for another 3 months. While your mum spoke with surveyors, analysts and other stakeholders, you wandered off on your own, headphones in. You barely heard the sound of engines and wheels skidding somewhere in front of you, until you saw a boy with orange hair on a bike, with smoke coming from the tires. 

“Kihyun, we told you not to go so fast!” Someone called, and you saw two more boys running towards the orange haired Kihyun from inside one of the warehouses. 

Kihyun let out some heavy breaths, then his gaze fell on you. “We got company,” he said towards the warehouse entrance.

Two heads popped out, one with black hair and one with red hair in spacebuns.

You stared back at Kihyun, your head cocked to the side, studying him as he studied you. He wore black leather pants and some sort of faux leather jacket with various patches attached.

Kihyun looked at you in your pale pink sheath dress. Clearly, you didn't belong anywhere near here. 

“Hi, can I help you?” He asked as he got off his bike and approached you. 

You removed your headphones and stood still. 

“I promise I won’t hurt you,” Kihyun said. 

“I was just uhh walking around. I came here with some people, but then we got separated so uh yeah, here I am I guess?” You replied. 

You were smiling so sweetly and innocently that Kihyun almost forgot what he wanted to say next. But once he gathered himself, he asked, “Do you need directions back or anything?” 

You continued smiling and shook your head. “Nope, I am completely okay. My mum is probably busy with the investors anyways.” 

Kihyun nodded, not quite processing what any investors had to do with you visiting an abandoned warehouse. 

“Were you also supposed to be at that meeting today? You don’t exactly look like you’re dressed for work in these warehouses,” Kihyun asked, gesturing at you dress. 

“Oh right,” you said while absentmindedly smoothing the sides of your dress. 

Kihyun’s eyes followed the movements of your hands and he couldn’t help but notice the way the dress hugged your hips. 

“I’m just on vacation now before uni begins, and my mum thought it would be nice to take me to work with her since we all know I’ll end up working at her company in the end,” you explained. 

Kihyun slowly shook his head as he processed your words. “So your mum is the one who’s been buying up parts of this harbour?”

“Yeah,” you replied.

Kihyun watched as you lifted your hair from your neck and fanned yourself. Of course, it’s summer, the UV index is through the roof, and you’re standing in the sun.

“Hey uh, would you like to come in? The sun’s kinda warm,” Kihyun said, and gestured towards the warehouse. 

“Wow really? Thank you, that would be lovely,” you replied and walked past Kihyun to move inside.

Kihyun watched you with some confusion as he followed you in, your gait being strangely sure and confident. “I assure you we won’t hurt you. There’s some drinks in the fridge, feel free to sit by the fan.”

“That’s very kind of you, thanks,” you replied as you looked around the warehouse. 

Several bikes littered the space, some with their parts removed and lying on the ground. There was a faint smell of grease, and shelves filled with toolboxes and spare parts. 

“So you’re a mechanic,” you said, with a hint of awe in your voice. 

Kihyun came and stood beside you. “Yes. And you’re MX Development’s CEO’s daughter.” 

You hummed in agreement.

“Did you ever think its a bad idea revealing information like that to someone you just met?” Kihyun asked. 

When you turned to face him, Kihyun wondered if your doe eyes could possibly look more innocent.

“Well uhh, I can see why it would be bad but, everybody at school knew, and many people figure it out pretty quickly,” you replied. 

“Are you sure that’s not because you mention your mum’s job in the first few seconds of meeting someone?” Kihyun teased.

Your gaze turned sharper as you turned to face him. “Actually, it’s because I can provide decent property investment advice myself. I know how real estate markets work, and how property prices change with mining booms, migration, government policy and other things.” 

Kihyun smirked. “That’s impressive. Is that all on your resume then?”

You shook your head and a small pout formed on your lips. “No, I just have my school marks and the degree I’ll be studying.” 

“Which is?” Kihyun asked. 

“Law,” you replied. 

Kihyun didn’t ask anything more. He motioned for you to take a seat on a couch and headed to a fridge at the back of the studio. He returned a few seconds later with two chilled water bottles. He loosened the cap of one and gave it to you. You both silently took several sips as Kihyun sat on the opposite side of the couch to you.

“What about you then? I feel like motorcycle rider isn’t really a job,” you said.

“Do you think a job is all there is in life?” Kihyun asked.

You glanced up at the ceiling as if in thought. “Well, no, but you do spend a great deal of your life working, so it definitely contributes to a person’s character.” 

Kihyun chuckled and replied, “Well you’re right about that. I am a motorcycle mechanic actually, and this is where I modify my bikes for races and things.” 

“I thought that type of thing only happened in movies,” you mused more to yourself than him. 

“Something tells me there’s a lot of things you’ve only experienced in movies,” Kihyun smirked.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “What are you implying there?” 

“I wasn’t implying anything. I just think its funny that someone like you would be getting comfortable on my ratty couch.” 

The Present

The event you promised to bring a date to was Hyungwon’s retirement party. Held at the Four Seasons, your admin staff had invited the whole firm as well as some big names and allies in the industry. You wore a long sleeved pink dress that reached just above your knees, with your regular diamond hoop earrings that you wore daily since you were 20.

“So who’s replacing Hyungwon as your head of investments?” Somin from Kard Investments asked while you both served yourselves food from the buffet.

“Why? Tired of being just an associate?” You joked.

“Well, from what I gather, head of investment at MX pays just as much with less hours. It’s a good position,” Somin shrugged.

“So apply,” you replied. “I’m not joking, Somin. The position won’t necessarily be filled internally so you have a shot.”

Somin placed a hand on your arm, silently telling you to be quiet. She moved you to sit down at a table, and only spoke once you had both started nibbling at your food.

“The reason I asked is because a buddy of mine applied,” Somin said in a low voice. “He’s been making waves recently for bagging some good deals, but he’s always said he will end up at MX someday.”

“Huh, wonder what his story is,” you said as you started eating.

Somin glanced around the room as if checking whether someone was listening. “He said there was someone he knew at MX. And that he wanted to find her before it was too late.”

The Past

The second time you saw Kihyun was about a week after the first time. You were back at the harbour, though you didn’t come with your mother’s entourage. This time, you were mindful of any fast moving motorcycles as you made your way to the warehouse where you first met Kihyun. The door was partly open when you arrived, so you slipped inside.

“Ki-kihyun? You in here?” You called as you walked in side. You dropped your bag on the ratty couch you had sat on last week. The lights were on, and tools were scattered around like someone left in a hurry. You walked further in, until you saw a ladder leading to a loft. Perhaps against your best judgement, you climbed up to it, and found a neatly made bed and a table full of skincare products, including many of the brands you used. 

You heard the door to the warehouse being pushed open so you climbed down from the loft. A tall boy with yellow and orange hair was standing at the entrance. Did all of Kihyun’s friends have unnatural hair colours?

“Oh I haven’t seen you before,” the boy said. “Where did Kihyun go?”

“I don’t know, I was hoping you knew,” you replied, still not sure who this boy was.

“I don’t know, I’m not the one coming down from his loft,” the boy said with a shrug.

“Well you’re welcome to wait for him with me,” you said, and gestured to the couch. While he got comfortable, you went to the fridge to get a bottle of water for him like Kihyun did for you. 

When you returned with the water bottle and stood in front of the boy, he looked you up and down. “You don’t look like Kihyun’s type… you’re too pretty.” 

You rolled your eyes and shoved the bottle towards him. The boy smirked, nestling further into the couch and sitting with his legs spread wide. After a good gulp of water and a resounding gasp, he asked, “So how did you get involved with Kihyun?” 

“We uh crossed paths?” You offered. It was true in a literal sense.

“And now you’re so close he lets you up to his loft huh?” The boy smirked.

“No, we’re just acquaintances, it’s not like we do anything together,” you replied. “Honestly, I’m not even sure he likes me.”

The boy’s jaw dropped open. “Wow I never thought he was that kind of guy.”

“Why? What’s Kihyun like?”

The boy scratched his hair, looking a little confused. “He doesn’t really bring girls here. But he also isn’t the type to lead someone around like this.”

You stared at the boy for a few seconds before exclaiming, “Wait you thought we were dating?”

The boy made an annoyed face. “Well it’s never just fucking where Kihyun is considered.”

“Uh wow okay, good to hear,” you said, taking a step away from the boy, slightly taken aback by his language. You turned around, wondering whether you should pretend you needed to go to the fridge or something, but then you caught site of a motorcycle helmet clad figure in a familiar jacket covered in patches emerging from somewhere at the back of the warehouse.

“Princess, is everything okay?” Kihyun asked as he took off his helmet.

Your breath hitched at the pet name. You didn’t think it would have an effect on you, but you liked it. Still, why would Kihyun say that when he’d met you once?

Behind you, the fire haired boy was laughing. “I knew you could never just hook up, man. You’re already calling her princess.”

Kihyun walked past you to the boy, and said through gritted teeth, “I meant you, Princess Mingi. What are you doing in my garage? Were you hoping to find out what I’ve prepared for this weekend?”

Mingi placed the water bottle down and smirked. “Your girl doesn’t like being called princess? Why not? She’s very pretty.” 

Kihyun followed Mingi’s gaze to where you stood, fidgeting with your watch. Today, you were wearing denim shorts that were hidden beneath an oversized sweater, creating the illusion you had no pants on. It was hot, and Kihyun suddenly wondered if you’d look like that wearing his oversized clothes too.

Kihyun returned his attention to Mingi. “You should leave. I’ll see you this weekend.”

Mingi chuckled and got up. When he reached the door, he turned around and winked at you, then left.

Kihyun fluffed his hair and turned to face you, asking, “What can I help you with?” 

“Oh I was just in the area and wanted to say hello. I didn’t mean to intrude or anything, but then your friend came in and I talked to him for a bit,” you stuttered out, then added, “I will leave if this is a bad time.”

Kihyun sighed. “No, don’t, you can stay a bit, I’ll order us some pizza or something.” 

Kihyun joined you on the couch and handed his phone to you, indicating for you to pick what pizza you wanted. 

“So what did Mingi ask you?”

“How we met, our relationship status, things like that,” you said while scrolling Kihyun’s phone.

“He’s not my friend, just so you know,” Kihyun said. 

“Oh,” you let out. “Well I didn’t tell him anything sensitive. I just said we crossed paths, if that makes you feel better.” 

“No, don’t worry about it,” Kihyun said again with a sigh. 

You looked up from the phone at him. His shoulders were slumped, his head hung down.

“Is something bothering you? Is it me? I can leave if you want to be alone. I really just wanted to say hi while I was in the area,” you rambled.

Kihyun lifted his head up quickly. “What? No, nonono, it’s not that. It’s just that Mingi is my rival, and we’re racing this weekend.”

“Ah so you’re stressed. That’s okay, happens to the best of us,” you replied, handing the phone to Kihyun with your pizza choices inputted.

Kihyun hummed in agreement as he finished making the payment. After a beat, he said, “Next time you’re here, be careful okay?” 

“Be careful of what?” 

“Of who,” Kihyun corrected. “Not everybody who comes to this warehouse will treat you well. I know Mingi wouldn’t do something as disgusting as hurting you to get to me, but some bikers might. I don’t want you to run into someone like that.”

“Oh,” you let out meekly. “I never really thought about it that way.” 

“Honestly y/n, in the two times I’ve met you, I learned you never think about safety,” Kihyun said, and you couldn’t tell if he was disappointed in your behaviour or just concerned.

“Well, nothing has ever happened to me, so I just assumed what I am already doing keeps me safe,” you replied, a small pout forming on your lips.

“Mingi was right about you,” Kihyun said as he took in your adorable pout. “You really are a princess.” 

That word again. It made something clench inside you. You swallowed and asked, “Why am I a princess, Kihyun?” 

“Your life is peaceful. Your family own some of the most lucrative real estate in this state. You go to good schools, get good grades and buy nice things. People don’t have a reason to hurt you.” 

“Wow.” You said in shock. “Just wow.” 

“Was I wrong, princess?” Kihyun asked, emphasising the last word.

“Don’t call me that, it does something to me,” you said with a scowl. 

“I know. That’s why I said it,” Kihyun grinned. 

“Fuck you,” you muttered. “I am not a princess. You just shoved me into strain and opportunity theories on crime occurrence.” 

Kihyun blinked. “Crime? I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. You literally just explained why my life lacks strains conducive to criminality then linked it to the idea that crime is highly opportunistic,” you replied.

“Y/n, I’m still lost. Unlike you, I didn’t learn these things at school,” Kihyun said, his jaw tight. 

“Don’t worry, most people don’t. I learned this stuff myself,” you said with a proud smile. Kihyun thought it was cute. 

“Ah, so the princess has a library?” He teased. 

“Stahp!! I am not a princess, I do crazy things too,” you whined as you gently shoved his shoulder and laughed. 

“Really? Like what?” Kihyun asked intrigued. “What’s the craziest, wildest thing you’ve done?” He caught your hand on his shoulder and place it down on your thigh, holding it slightly longer than necessary.

You took a deep breath before answering. “What I have planned to do this weekend.” 

The Present

You and Somin finished eating quickly before going to mingle around. You approached your executive team who were all huddled up drinking. Minhyuk handed you his half finished bottle of beer when you joined. You briefly flashed him a look of annoyance but took it anyways. It wasn’t like you to pull rank to remind him you were his superior and weren’t going to drink his leftover beer. As the night went on, different figures approached Hyungwon to congratulate him and wish him well. A select few approached you to congratulate you on inheriting the CEO position, though it was something you had always expected your mother to do eventually. 

And even though you did not agree with most of the decisions your mother made for you, you weren’t stupid enough to pass up on decisions that would unilaterally benefit you.

“What are you staring at?” Hoseok asked. 

You didn’t realised you had been zoning out.

“Did someone catch your eye?” He asked while taking a sip from a soft drink can. 

When you didn’t reply, Hoseok followed your gaze to find a man with orange hair in a suit. The man’s back was to you, and he was talking quite animatedly with a group of investment bankers. Or so you assumed since the whole group was Kard Investments’ trading floor.

“Do you know him?” Hoseok asked you.

“No, but the hair…” you said, more to yourself than him.

“Oh for sure, he needs to get rid of that before he comes into work on Monday.”

“Monday?” You asked, eyes widening. 

“Yeah, didn’t Hyungwon tell you? That’s the guy that’ll take over for him,” Hoseok replied. 

“When did HR confirm that? Who did the hiring? Why wasn’t I notified?” You thought aloud. 

“Now those are all valid questions and best left to Hyunwoo. He met with the guy last week to finalise things so he knows him best,” Hoseok said. 

“So our new hire is from Kard?” You asked, nudging your chin towards the congregation of Kard traders.

“Yes, but you know what’s funny is that he’s always said he wants to work at MX,” Hoseok mused.

You and Hoseok stared after the orange haired man some more.

“I don’t suppose you happen to know his name?” You asked Hoseok.

“It’s Yoo Kihyun.”

[lafleshlumpeater]

・❥・ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴀᴠɪɴ' ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ

Out of all of the sad, stylish, lonely men I have liked which one did you ship me w most and why DETAILED PLEASE SINCE YOU WANT DETAILS FROM ME SO BAD.

・❥・ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴀᴠɪɴ' ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ

ˢᵉⁿᵈ ��ᵉ ᵃ ᵍᵉⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵖʳᵉᶠ, ᵃ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ⁽ᵃ ᶠᵘⁿ ᶠᵃᶜᵗ, ᵃ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ, ᵉᵗᶜ⁾ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ'ˡˡ ˢʰⁱᵖ ʸᵒᵘ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳ!!

remus lupin masterlist

i don't think you understood what i was asking for. but okay since anything you tell me i'd probably know anyways

moony ofc.

(all pictures from pinterest)

he's literally the best and i feel like you two would vive i mean vibe so much. for trope it's 100 percent be best friends to lovers bc i love that trope. and it's so appropriate for him (like i don't think you can see him falling in love with a girl from going on a blind date or smth). like you two would just click and then just be bffs. you would read together, do auror tings together, compete in promotions, like do everything together.

the moment he realised he was in love with you was when you got a magical tattoo which counted down the days until the full moon and on the night of the full moon it reads "moony". when you showed him, that was the moment he knew. little did he know, your excuse for getting it in the first place ("i always forget how many days are left until the transformation, this makes it easier") was actually because you always wanted a part of him to always be with you (doing this one bc ik you like adult moony better)

or if we're talking school years, then definitely academic rivals to lovers. like he'd be like "ok just bc she's slytherin doesn't mean she's bad" blah blah but then one day you get 100 percent on a test and he gets 98. and he's so. livid. bc 1. he's never gotten 100 percent before and 2. you were so smug that you got higher than remus lupin, the previous smartest student in the year. ever since you found out how much you could annoy him with even the smallest jibes, you took every opportunity to do so. slughorn said his potion was 'absolutely perfect'? whoops, how did those peppermint sprigs get in there? overheard him talking to someone about how much he wanted to read a book? the next day, coincidentally, you were reading the exact same book, a sly smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

one time, the latter occurred with a book about lycanthropy. you assumed he'd wanted it for an assignment, and you borrowing it from the library was sure to make him unable to complete it. you began to read, as you saw him make his way over to you.

"give that to me," he demanded.

you smirked, ever amused to get a rise out of him. "why should i?" you looked up at him innocently. "not my fault i got it from the library before you."

he growled and rolled his eyes, and only then did you notice the dark circles around his eyes, making him resemble a panda. "just give it. i'm honestly not bothered to do this today."

"yeah? why should i do that?"

he snapped, having had enough, the exhaustion and frustration from last night channelled into his words. "because i'm a fucking werewolf and the transformations are fucking horrible because my joints get twisted all out of place if you didn't know, and some of them won't even go back in place properly and because of that my hip fucking hurts and the scratches on my chest are probably bleeding right now because i didn't leave the hospital wing with madam pomfrey's permission because last night was a full moon and i didn't want that stupid creep snape to get even more suspicious than he already is, and i need that stupid book to help me and fucking tell everyone for all i care because i'm sick and tired of all this crap and i'd rather get kicked out of this stupid school sooner rather than later. thanks for understanding," he ranted, punctuating it with sarcasm at the end as he grabbed the book from your limp hands.

as a slytherin, you had a weird knack for just knowing when people were lying. and from the raw sincerity in lupin's words, you knew he was speaking the truth.

and you just sat there, in shock, very unlike yourself as you took it all in.

back in the boys' dorm, remus was panicking.

"lily, i told her. i snapped and told her everything, she hates me, she's gonna tell snape and i'm gonna have to leave this god damned school and-" he sighed, hating the fact that tears of anger directed at himself were pricking at the back of his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

lily stroked his back comfortingly. "remus, i'm sure she won't tell a soul. she may seem to hate you, but honestly i don't think she does. and i don't think you do either."

"i- what are you on about?" remus questioned. lily smiled, her dimples deepening.

"whenever other girls annoy you, you don't give a single damn. but with her... she didn't even intentionally annoy you, and you were so pissed off when she got that 100.

"as for her... i know her well, and she's no attention- seeker. but she likes your attention, rem, and that's why she keeps irritating you. she likes getting a rise out of you."

remus shook his head.

"she hates me lily," he mumbled, slightly forlorn, and tried not to think about how he sort of liked how your eyes flashed mischievously when you ruined his potions, or how lily's words had suddenly made him realise how much he replayed your encounters in his head when he was trying to sleep at night.

you don't know why, but after that you began to be more lenient on him. just him. not stupid potter or his stupid best mate black or the pettigrew boy, just lupin.

it isn't an honourable thing to do, to give someone shit when they're already feeling it, you told yourself. which arse of a person makes things harder for a person when they're already going through so much?

you also decided to keep his secret. all whilst telling yourself:

just to spite him. just to prove him wrong, that i can keep a secret. that not all slytherins are the same.

you also found yourself becoming no kinder to snape, and began to notice how irritating and nosey he actually was. all coincidental, of course.

a month later, remus found a note addressed to "Lupin," in small cursive with a small vial in his bag at dinner after potions. curiously, he opened the note and:

"Lupin,

For the full moon tonight. It should help."

Nothing more.

And when remus scanned the great hall in half suspicion and half wonder to look for his culprit, his usual sharp vision missed the way your eyes flickered from his hands back down to your plate.

okay ngl i got very carried away with this but i kinda like how it turned out but it is a tad rusty

taglist: @kimorna @quickslvxrr

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

FU Bitch-sensei’

The fact that women didn't allow you to get a passport must of been frustrating...

No kidding, like it takes 5 days to get a passport as long as you have a guardian so it should be fine! Hell even Sonia, Hiyoko and a few of our classmates have one so why don't I have one?!

...Now I'm starting to remember that sexy soup incident that occur.

Sexy Soup incident? Can you go into more details about it?

Well I remember that Yukio wanted to have us all bond and become friends, which of course Fuyuhiko and Sonia weren't around and then Hiyoko drugged the soup.

While yes, Teruteru did bring the drugs and he did get reprimanded of course but then our class try to confront Hiyoko...and well...

...

...

...

Date: April 18th, 2010

So... have all of you calm down from that hangover?

ugggh, that... that soup wa-wasn't good and I had to cl-clean up the whole class...ugh...

My loins still hurt, they hurt s-soooo badly...

Well... maybe instead you shouldn't have drugged the whole damn class and thank god myself, Sonia, Yukio and Hatomi were sober...

I did not need to get yell at by my old man for what happen or he might assume I was blackmail.

Indeed, probably it's a good thing I wasn't around otherwise I would never heard the end of mother fretting over me and assume I was kidnapped.

Still... I'm surprise all this happen all because I wanted everyone to get along and befriend each other, y'know?

Is...is this really my fault, did I really get everyone hurt just to have all this happen? I feel really bad...

Yukio, bud... don't blame yourself; all you did was have us be friends.

I would have to agree with that, from my understanding you just wanted us to be friends and cooperate as a classmates.

So... don't fault yourself too much...

Well uh, thank you Peko and Ibuki... at least that helps a lot...

At least I was able to stop Mikan from hurting herself or uh, trying to push her sword where she might regret it later so think nothing of it, Peko.

I-I see, um... of course...

But yeah man, it was a nice gesture is all...

Ye-Yeah and we got a lot of photos too so don't worry!

Yeah Yukio, all you did was have us bond and be friends so it's okay...

But I think a certain 2 people should apologize, right Hiyoko and Teruteru?

Wh-What?! Why are you lumping me with the gross molestor! I had nothing to do with this!

Because while sure Teruteru brought the drugs and at least Teruteru is going to apologize for it, your the one that put in that aphrodisiac and got everyone high and horny. Hell you better be glad that no one got sexually assaulted or raped and you better be glad I didn't let Teruteru touch you!

Exactly, do you realize how bad that is?! You nearly cause a big mess Teruteru and Hiyoko!

Sh-Shuuuut upppppp!!! Th-That wasn't suppose to happen! I'm already got a headache from that soup, leave me alooooone!!!

Oh...ri-right, that...I should do that...

[papijean]

cherries chapter three

previous - series masterlist - next 

chapter summary: A coffee date with Armin was exactly what you needed to remind you who your feelings belonged to... maybe

warnings: mild smut, nipple play, grinding, 

word count: 6.3k

a/n: happy tuesday! 

With the confidence from the weekend's events and the successful feeling of your midterm, you decided it was a good time to ask Armin to hang out. Although he was busy, he still agreed to meet up while you were both on campus to get coffee. It wasn't anything grand or special, but you wanted to hang out with Armin on his own.

Truthfully, you'd been thinking about Connie all week. You couldn't get the sound of his laughter out of your head, nor the way his lips felt on yours. It was horrible to admit he'd caught your interest and now you were just as hooked as the rumours said. You could see why so many girls were a notch on his belt.

Time and time again you had to remind yourself he wasn't the one you wanted to sleep with for the first time, it was Armin. Armin was the one who you wanted to take your virginity to because you knew damn well his intentions with you would be nothing but honest. Your feelings for him had been manifesting for months now - one day with someone else wouldn't change your mind.

Whatever happened with Connie was a one time thing.

The nerves you had in his presence started up the moment you saw his blonde hair through the thick crowded hallways. Armin met your eye, giving you a smile before pushing his way through the rest of the people. You were waiting just outside the coffee shop within your campus - a popular spot for everyone.

"Hey!" He seemed more cheerful than the last time you saw him. The cute smile that was so easy to love took over all his features.  "Have you been waiting long?"

"No, my class just got out, too," you assured. Armin walked at your side as you entered the small coffee shop - if you could even consider it a cafe. There were probably only six tables in the room and every single one of them was constantly rotating people. "How have you been?"

"Busy," Armin let out a big breath of air. It seemed even he was able to get stressed over classes.  "I'm glad you texted me though, I've been needing a break away from everything."

Your lips curled up at his response. You'd been worried he only agreed to see you because he felt obligated to sine you were both in the same friend group. Though he did seem to enjoy your presence when you were together, it was always hard to tell when someone as kind as him was being truthful.

There was a difference in stature when it came to someone like Connie and someone like Armin. Both were kind to the face of others, but what occurred behind closed doors was impossible to tell. Armin was the kind man who was easy to befriend, Connie, you could only assume was the kind to weasel his way into the life of someone just to take what he wanted without you even realizing.

Before things could get worse, you needed to accept it was likely Connie wanted nothing more out of you than sex.

"Me too," a simple little lie, but enough to make it seem like you weren't desperate to meet up with him. Armin didn't need to know how badly you wanted to see him on your own, without the watchful eyes of your friends. There always felt like some sort of pressure when Sasha or Eren, or even Mikasa was around.

It didn't take long for the two of you to reach the front of the line. Armin, like the gentleman he was, offered to pay for your drink along with his. Thankfully, there was a singular open table by the time you were finished ordering. Before anyone would get the chance to nab it, you scurried over to the small table.

"Any particular reason you decided to ask just me to coffee today?" Armin asked as you sat down. There was a teasing tone to his voice. He was a smart man, it was likely he figured out long ago what your feelings for him were. Either he wanted you to say it out loud, or he really was clueless.

"Do I need a reason to want to hang out with you?" You tried to keep a somewhat straight face. One day you'd have to face your feelings head-on, today just wasn't going to be that day. "Or did you want me to invite Eren and Mikasa so they could eye fuck each other in front of our lattes? Sasha would clear out the whole bakery if she knew you were paying."

"Alright, alright," Armin held his hands up in defeat. There was a smile toying at his lips, trying to hold back the laughter at your excuses. It seemed like he wanted to push the question further but decided against it. You'd be ready to call this a date if he were to let you - and you hoped in the back of his mind he was thinking the same thing. "You look pretty."

"Are you trying to flirt with me?" The boldness coming from both of you was something you weren't expecting out of this coffee 'date'. Armin wasn't one to put himself out on the line like this - nor were you this inclined to flirt back at him. You weren't sure what was coming over you to be so forward with him.

Maybe your time with Connie had given you the confidence boost you needed to make progress with your relationship with Armin.

Your chin rested on your hand as you leaned onto the table. Armin mimicked your pose, leaning closer towards you until you could feel the warmth of his breath. You felt your chest tighten at the similar position - the same way you were sitting with Connie only days ago. Warmth flooded your cheeks at the intrusive reminder of his lips on yours.

"Am I not allowed to say my friends look good?" Armin gave you the same tone you used on him earlier. Jokingly, you rolled your eyes at him. Of course he could say such things, but you wanted his words towards you to be special.

Before he got the chance to say anything else, a barista brought both of your drinks to the table you sat at. Quickly, you retracted how you were sitting to make room for the steamy mugs. The brief moment you shared came to an end before you could even get the chance to enjoy it.

As badly as you wanted that intimate moment back, Armin changed the subject back to your daily lives at Trost University. He drove a smooth conversation, never allowing for an awkward break - which also meant he didn't give you the time to try and come up with some witty flirt to catch his attention either. Armin already seemed to have forgotten your brief moment only minutes ago.

There was far more than you realized to catch up on. Armin had so many things going on in his life you weren't sure how he managed to keep track of it all.

The drinks before you slowly began declining until there was nothing left but a muddle of sweetener at the bottom. Armin didn't seem to have any intentions of leaving, even with your beverages empty - not that you could complain.

"Are you planning on living with Eren and Mikasa again next year?"

"God no," Armin shook his head. It'd been nearly a year since Mikasa moved in with the duo. Clearly, he was just as sick of seeing them being a couple as the rest of you were. Eren was handsy and needy, Mikasa only gave her attention to him. It was easy to be annoyed by them. "I was thinking about living on my own for a while. Are you still thinking of living with Sasha?"

Yes, yes but if given the chance you'd move in with Armin without hesitation. It wasn't bad living with Sasha, she wasn't loud nor did she invite people over all the time - but she was horribly messy and never asked when eating your food. Armin seemed like the perfect roommate, and it was just an excuse to be closer to him, too.

"Yeah," you decided on answering. It was the easiest living at least another year with Sasha - at least by then you'd be graduated and could move wherever your job decided to take you. "I-"

Armin's face hardened. The soft smile and attentive eyes quickly set to a look of discontent as he looked at someone from behind you. Your back was towards the door, making it difficult for you to see anyone coming in and out of the cafe. Before you could turn to see who could have changed his attitude so quickly, a hand was placed on your shoulder.

You tilted your neck up, trying to figure out who the hell was so comfortable with you to touch you so aimlessly. Short, dark hair and a boyish grin were recognizable.

"Connie," Armin leaned back in his chair, arms crossed as he glared at the hand resting on you. Armin, along with the rest of your friends, was clueless about your most recent hang-out with Connie. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a coffee shop, Armin, obviously I'm here to get some coffee," he teased. There were no free chairs available for him to pull up and join you, though it didn't seem the blonde would want that anyway. "I wasn't going to just ignore you guys and not say hi."

The two men before you appeared to be in a silent argument. Their stares were unwavering, though they shared no words. It sent a chill down your spine - it was rare to see Armin upset like this. However, twice now you'd seen him react badly when Connie was around. It made you curious as to whether or not the two shared some sort of aggressive history. It was something you were going to have to ask Sasha about at some point.

Connie's palm was hot on your shoulder. You could feel the warmth of it even through the layers of clothing you wore. However, Armin's stare felt like it was burning you. You could nearly see the gears working in his brain to figure out how you were okay with Connie touching you like this in public - even if it did appear like an innocent touch.

"You've said your bit, now go get your coffee," Armin's voice was taut. "More importantly, stop touching someone you barely know."

Connie chuckled, you couldn't see his expressions - not unless you cranked your neck to look up at him. He held his hands up in defense, leaving your shoulder cold and wanting a second embrace. You knew the warmth of his hands twice now, and twice now you wanted to feel it all over your body. It was a horrible thought to have when you were sitting right across from the person you truly wanted most.

"Let's hang out again," Connie spoke directly to you. He remained in your peripheral, likely watching Armin to see what kind of reaction he would have to the sudden truth of your previous engagement. "I had fun last time."

Armin's jaw tightened. His palms from beneath the table turned to fists as he tried to maintain a calm exterior. However, the moment he saw Connie wink in his direction, he was ready to lose it entirely. The lowly suggestive comments were easy enough to pick up on - but to provoke him in such a manner was unforgivable.

You were blind to the small action, only seeing Armin's face flush pink with frustration as Connie picked up his order from the barista and left the cafe. Without realizing it, your hand covered the same spot as Connie did, hoping to mimic the feeling of his hand on your body. Armin glared until you retracted.

"You hung out with Connie?" Armin asked. Though he was no longer using a teasing tone like before, it seemed he calmed down enough. You nodded your head in answer. "Why?"

"We're in the same class," you shrugged nonchalantly. Armin was the last person you wanted to find out - especially after the lecture he gave you the first time you met Connie. "We had a midterm this week so we decided to study together in the library. Connie was nice, Armin, you don't need to worry about me as much as you do."

You omitted the part about him driving you home - and the kiss you shared. Although, with Connie's tone, you were sure he already picked up on what happened.

"When it comes to someone like him, it's hard not to worry," Armin sighed. He ran a hand down his face, trying not to say everything on his mind. He trusted you not to make some stupid mistake you would regret for the rest of his life but he also knew how persuasive Connie could be when he wanted something. "Be careful."

"I know."

Connie Springer was not to be trusted when it came to pretty girls he wanted to have sex with. You were no exception, even when you were best friends with Sasha.

><

'Hey this is Connie, Eren gave me your number. I was wondering if you wanted to work on the assignment together that's due next week?'

It totally slipped your mind to give Connie your number the last time you saw him. You couldn't exactly ask Sasha or Armin for his number without either of them raising suspicion - and they weren't likely to give out your number either. Eren was the good choice for Connie to go to - he probably couldn't care less if you were hanging out with him or not.

You were yet to start the assignment Connie was talking about, it wasn't necessarily hard, just time-consuming. Working with him would hopefully make the time go by faster than working on your own.

This time, you couldn't let yourself get distracted by him. Kissing Connie was a one-time thing, you couldn't let it happen again. Seeing how worried and upset Armin was, you couldn't bear to let it happen again. You also couldn't let yourself just be another notch for him, Connie was used to having girls fall at his feet - you couldn't be one of them.

However, it didn't stop you from giving him a quick reply to agree to work on the assignment with him. You'd managed to hide the text from Sasha as she tried peaking over your shoulder to see who you were texting without raising too much suspicion. However, it was hard to ignore the heat radiating from your body as Connie followed up with a second text of coming over to his place to study.

The library was fine last time, though it would be nice to get a change of scenery - and there was no way you could have him over to your home without Sasha finding out. You were scared to tell her that you were hanging out with him - mostly because you knew how badly she'd react by jumping to more conclusions than you thought possible.

Nothing was going on between you and Connie. Nothing.

"You look tired."

Connie's home wasn't quite how you expected it to be. He shared an apartment with Jean, though quite larger than the one you shared with Sasha. The kitchen was updated with all new appliances and you couldn't help but notice the expensive coffee machine that sat on the counter as well.

It smelt deeply of cologne in the apartment as if it was coming from an air freshener somewhere. It was an addictive smell - though it differed from the smell of the cologne he usually wore. You could only guess Jean was the one behind it.

He didn't show you around the whole place, just a walk-through towards his room. The door beside his was left a jar but it didn't appear anyone was in there. From what you could tell from the small glance, it was Jean's room. You could see his unmade bed and desk set up, though it was hard to understand any of his personality from the brief peak.

Connie's room was large. It was hard to believe this was just an apartment in comparison to your own. Whoever was paying for it had to have deep pockets.

His bed was in the center of the far wall, two small tables on either side of it that had books, cords, and empty water bottles on both. His desk held a gaming computer and still had enough space to do school work all on the same surface. Clothes were piled on the floor in his closet, not quite making it to his laundry basket, however, it was rather clean.

There was a bathroom connected to his room, a luxury you wish you had when it came to sharing one with Sasha. You were yet to get a peak inside but it seemed like it was quite nice.

"I am," you admitted. It felt like hours you'd been working on this assignment together and you were starting to get extremely bored of it. Connie must have been feeling the same way if he noticed how tired you appeared.

Connie worked at his desk while you sat on his bed, laptop staring at you with the unfinished assignment. He'd given you the choice when you first arrived but it seemed like he wanted the desk to himself. His bed was comfortable, thick cushioning with a plush comforter - even his pillows seemed like they were expensive. It wasn't helping how sleepy were you.

Music played in the background but you were yet to pay attention to it. Between your concentration on your school work and the flow of conversation you held with Connie, it was hard to pick up on the songs.

He didn't bring up what happened last time or when he ran into you at the cafe. You weren't sure what his thoughts were about you, but he appeared happy to be working with you. Connie's laugh sounded so genuine it was impossible to believe he only asked you here because he needed someone to help with his assignment.

"Do you want a coffee or anything? Or we could take a break from working," Connie offered. He spun his chair to face you fully, rather than just in his peripheral. "You look like you're ready to conk out for the day."

"I can't help it, your bed is just so comfortable," you laughed. The last thing you wanted to think about was what has happened in his bed.

"Have a nap then," Connie chuckled. You didn't expect such an offer from him. You'd only known him for a couple of weeks and sleeping in front of him wasn't something you were quite comfortable with. Nonetheless, he sounded serious about his offer - he really didn't care if you were to fall asleep on him.

"Tempting offer, but we should at least finish this first," you tried nonchalantly to direct the subject away from sleeping on his bed. "I don't have much left on mine, what about you?"

"I think I'm a few questions behind you," Connie looked between your screen and his. You set your laptop down on the bed and got up to take a better look at where he was at. His fingers tapped on his desk as you leaned over his shoulder to read his assignment. It was hard focusing on the screen rather than the smell of his cologne.

"Oh you need the textbook for this question," you pointed out. You stood up straight, further away from Connie without making it seem like you were uncomfortable. "I found the pdf version online I'll send you the link if you don't have it."

Connie thanked you for the link, though it didn't seem like he was interested in continuing to work. He typed away aimlessly, spinning around in his chair every time he got bored - which was quite frequently. You couldn't blame him for not wanting to work any longer, you'd been going at it all afternoon.

With a sigh, Connie finally called defeat and shut down his computer. In two strides he managed to make it over to his bed a flop down next to you. He laid on his back, arms flung above his head as he stared up at the ceiling. It was clearly tall, but it was another reminder to see his feet almost hanging off the edge of his own bed.

He really wasn't what you expected him to be like. The first time you'd met, he gave off such an I-don't-care attitude it made you wonder how he got the reputation he had. After spending time with him, it was clear he was different than he put out to be.

"What?"

You didn't realize you were staring down at him until he called you out. Connie's features were so sharp, and yet laying here next to you he appeared so young. The youthful, playful side was one you wanted to see more often from him. This side was one you didn't need Armin or Sasha worrying about.

"You took your earrings out."

You found yourself reaching towards him, fingers trailing over the holes left behind from his piercings. There were two lobe piercings, a helix, and one you couldn't quite remember the name of - that one he kept in. It wasn't until he sighed did you realize you were stepping out of line.

"Sorry," you pulled your hand away.

"No, it feels nice," Connie grabbed your hand and placed it on the top of his head. He closed his eyes, waiting for your to pick up on the friendly motion again. It was scary how he was able to be so comfortable with you in such a short amount of time. You couldn't help but wonder if this was how he acted around Sasha - or any other women that came and went in his life. It was hard to believe he was making these exceptions for you and you alone but you so desperately wanted to believe it.

He hummed with content as your nails ran along his scalp. The soothing motion felt heavenly - and it seemed to relax you as well. With his eyes closed, it also gave you the good chance to really take in all his features. Connie was incredibly handsome, it was almost unfair how good of genes he received.

"Thank you for helping me with the assignment today, I'm sure you could have gone through it a lot faster on your own," Connie spoke after a long silence. His grey eyes fluttered open, meeting yours right away. The realization of how close you were was abrupt. For a second time, you found yourself pulling away from him.

"It was nice working on it with someone, I'd be bored otherwise," you waved off his thanks. However, it was nice of him to give such appreciation. You slouched down on his bed, lower and lower until you were flat on the mattress and your head on the pillow. "Besides, you're not the worst company to have around."

You teasingly nudged his arm with your elbow. Connie shook his head at you, trying to hide the grin he wore. His laugh was so melodic it almost reminded you of Armin's. The blonde would be so disappointed in you - laying in bed with the one he trusted least for you to be alone with.

"I like to think I'm better than 'not the worst'," Connie turned his head to look at you. You mimicked him. The distance between you was so minimal it almost felt suffocating. He turned to his side, propped up on one elbow and inching closer towards you with each second. "In fact, I like to think I'm really good company."

"You must be delusional then."

You could feel how hard your heart was beating against your chest. This shouldn't be happening - you shouldn't be letting it happen. Connie was not the person you wanted to be doing this with and yet here you were letting him get closer and closer until his lips were just a mere inch from yours.

"I must be."

They were just the same as they were last time. Soft, sweet, exhilarating. Connie's kiss was everything you could ever want and it was impossible to remember why you didn't want this to happen. He wasn't rushed - no, he was taking his sweet time to drag out every kiss he gave you.

Too soon he pulled away. Grey eyes locked to your lips, desperate for more but giving you the chance to back out now. Without hesitation your hand slipped to the back of his neck, edging him towards you until you could feel his kiss again.

The hairs at the back of his neck were soft beneath your fingers. The warmth radiating from his body was welcoming, pulling you in closer and closer until you could be enveloped in it entirely. A heavy palm cupped your jaw, thumb brushing against your cheek to soothe any worries out of your body. Connie calmed you, even with your heart beating so erratically.  

In a less-than-graceful movement, you found yourself on top of Connie, a leg on either side of his body. You could feel him smile into the kiss, pleased at your sudden initiative - or maybe just a reminder of the last time. It took him less time to slip his hands beneath your shirt, ready to pull it off the second you gave him the chance.

The tips of his fingers were smooth on your skin, never creeping up farther than what was considered polite but greedy with temptation. His neck stretched as you pulled away in an attempt to keep you close for as long as he could. However, he quickly became interested in removing your shirt.

The smooth motion of pulling your shirt off your body reminded you just how many times he'd done it before. You desperately grasped at those thoughts, trying to force yourself to stop this before all your friends were proven right about him. No matter how far you reached, Connie's touch pulled you back to him.

It was exhilarating the way his eyes were glued to your body. He took in every curve, every flaw, every perfection on your body and engraved it in himself. He reached to your face, cupping it so he could pull you back down to his level. Connie didn't care about your imperfections, he only cared to have your lips on his and to make you feel good.

Your own hands slipped under his shirt. Hard muscles were found beneath, though you weren't surprised by the fact. He flexed beneath your touch, a second later pulling away from your kiss to stifle a laugh.

"Stop, that tickles," he lightly grabbed your wrists to prevent them from tickling him even more. It was accidental, truly, but the idea of someone like him being ticklish like this was comforting to you. Connie let you go just to watch you pull his shirt off. You sat on his lap, admiring all the hard work he'd put in to get such a physique. "Hey, my eyes are up here."

"You must go to the gym a lot," your fingers danced against his skin, following every groove and bump carved into him. A sharp breath came from him as he forced himself not to react.

"I do," Connie's hands planted on your hips, fingers digging enough just enough to leave pressure on you. "Not because I care about the aesthetic, it clears my head."

"Oh?" You were surprised to hear he did it not for the body appeal. Someone of his taste would surely use the gum for selfish reasons. "Do you have a lot on your mind often?"

"Right now the only thing on my mind is you," he wore a boyish grin, one that made you forget about your thoughts of other people's hands on his body. The pads of his fingers trailed up your back, reaching the clasps of your bra. He raised his eyebrows, careful not to push past boundaries you wore. Without hesitation, you nodded for him to remove it.

Connie tossed the bra somewhere in the same direction as your shirt. Even under his intent gaze, you didn't feel the pressure of wanting to cover yourself. The palms of his hands were rough with callouses against your body but felt heavenly as he cupped your breasts. You couldn't help but gasp as his jagged callouses brushed against your nipples.

"Hey, my eyes are up here," you mocked his words from earlier. He rolled his eyes at your joke, dropping his hands back down to your hips. Suddenly, he used his strength to flip you onto the bed. His forearms rested on either side of you, body pressed against yours without all his weight on you.

Connie gratefully accepted your lips again, this time pouring his all into it. His tongue protruded your lips, fighting for what little power you had. You felt as if you were melting into the mattress, melting into him. Whatever addictive taste you'd gotten hooked on, it didn't seem like this kiss would ever be enough.

Your fingers dragged against every muscle in his arms until nestling at the nape of his neck. His kiss poisoned your senses. Time felt non-existent, your surroundings melted to nothing until all that remained was you and him. The pain in your lungs from the lack of air was weightless.

Connie gave no moment of rest. He broke your kiss just to trail some down your neck, nipping and sucking until he found a spot to make you moan. The smile against your skin was devilish, only proving to be right when you felt the pressure of a mark being left. You couldn't care less about how dark and obvious he was making it, only the feeling he was giving.

Your legs were pried open, just enough for him to place his own between. The width of his thigh pressed firmly against your clothed core but remained unmoving.

It wasn't until his lips wrapped around your perked nipple did you react. "Connie!" You breathed out in content. He hummed, a way of showing he was listening but even more so do send the shooting vibration across your body. "Fuck."

He gave attention to your other nipple as well, lightly rolling the nub between his fingers. Your nails dug into his shoulders, hard enough to leave indents. The feeling was so new and it was impossible to not want to beg for more.

A line of drool connected from the tip of his tongue to your nipple as he pulled back. His grey eyes were begging for more sounds from you, anything to prove he was doing a good job of this. Connie switched to the other, giving it the same treatment he did previously. He was harsher this time, allowing his teeth to catch and drag against you.

He could feel you grinding against his thigh. The movement was hesitant at first, maybe you weren't even aware you were doing it. Nonetheless, it was evident to him just how turned on you were. You slowly started feeling it more, putting more effort into it until finally you were silently begging for what you didn't even realize you wanted.

More. More. More.

You wanted more of this feeling.

Connie kissed down your torso, moving his body so you no longer had that feeling against him and most importantly making you crave more of it. He stopped when he reached the edge of your pants, looking up at you with such wishful eyes.

You weren't even looking down at him, you were still too caught up in the way your body was feeling. Connie took it as a sign to continue. He undid the button of your pants, pulling them down your legs until you were down to the not-so-sexy underwear you wore. He couldn't give a shit about what they were, just what was beneath them. He was so close, so fucking close to getting what he wanted - but he knew he couldn't rush this.

His thigh nestled between yours once more. You'd feel so much better with one less piece of material between you - even more so when he would finally be able to strip you of your underwear. Connie's thumb and fingers lightly grabbed both of your cheeks. He pulled you back to an angle to kiss you easily.

"Shit," you breathed out as he toyed at your breasts. Between his kiss and his touch, you were beginning to get lightheaded. Your body moved on its own, pressing against the thick material of his jeans. You wanted to moan his name at how good it felt but nothing but a choked breath could come out.

Your lips were tender and swollen from it all but you didn't want to stop. You wanted to be kissed forever.

"Can-" Connie cut himself off, kissing you hard until your lungs screamed for air. "Can I take these off?" His finger looped into the band of your underwear but made no further move to pull them down your legs. The question was simple - yes or no - but it caught you so incredibly off guard you felt your chest sink with realization.

What were you doing? What the hell were you thinking to let Connie get this far with you? No - no you couldn't let this go any further. Not for your sake, or Sasha's, or Armin's. This had to stop. It was becoming all too real too quickly.

Was I about to have sex with Connie?

Was he making you feel so good you couldn't even think straight enough to notice what the hell was going on? This wasn't what you came over to his home for - you came here only for studying. Connie knew that - he knew it and he still did this to you. Not that he could be the only one to blame, you let it get this far.

"I-" you tried to answer. The tightness of his jeans was prominent, just as the needy look on his features. "I'm sorry, Connie, I can't."

You felt the need to cry. Not because you were upset, but because you disappointed yourself and Connie. Connie was so gentle with you and you couldn't even go through with this. It was just sex - something you were yet to have - and yet you couldn't help but suddenly make a big deal of it.

Anxiety riddled your body. Your bottom lip was pulled between your teeth to keep it from wobbling, throat and eyes burning with the need to let your emotions out. Why did you feel so horrible for not wanting something so human?

"Hey," Connie gently cupped your cheek. There was no anger, no frustration, just kindness. Whether or not it was real, you only cared about the sudden comfort. "It's okay, I get it. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me," Connie assured. He gave you a final kiss, one on your lips and a second on your forehead. The clothes of yours he tossed aside were handed to you. "Get dressed, I'm going to have a quick shower then I'll drive you home, yeah? Maybe we can grab some food on the way if you're hungry."

Instantly, the fear clouding your thoughts was disappearing. How was he so kind? How could Armin hate someone who was willing to hand out nothing but sincerity? No one had ever made you feel such a way.

You nodded, bunching your crumpled clothes to your chest until he slipped away into his bathroom. As soon as the water started running you gained the will to get dressed. This indescribable feeling only grew - warmth filling your chest, unexplainable smile, it was fulfilling.

You fell to his bed, bare legs dangling off the side and a grin on your face. A silent squeal of excitement left you, unable to contain what was bubbling in your heart. You couldn't help but wonder if Connie was this time, just how much of a gentleman would Armin be? Would he cherish every bit of you? Ask if you were comfortable? Would he kiss you until your knees were weak?

By the time you got dressed and packed away everything you'd been using for the assignment, the water shut off in the bathroom. It was only moments later did Connie emerge with nothing but wet hair and a towel around his waist.

Even if it was practically the same view you'd just gotten, you couldn't help but be amazed at the addition of water droplets sneaking down his body. Fuck.

"Sorry, I forgot some clothes."

"I can wait outside for you." Not that you wanted to. You gave a curt nod before grabbing your bag and heading towards the door. Connie chuckled at your sudden flustered state. With the closed door between you once more, you could let out the relieved sigh you'd been holding in. You were attracted to Connie, maybe more than just physically at this point.

"Fuck."

- 

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[reidslibrarybook]

Fawn Over Me

Couple - Post Prison!Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Warnings - Language, Mentions of BDSM, Allusions to sexual activities, Age Gap

Summary - You’re fresh meat at the BAU, having just joined a few months prior. You were excited to start working at the most prestigious unit at Quantico, however, you never expected to be so distracted by your infatuation with the infamous, Dr. Spencer Reid.

Category - Fluff, Angst?, Hurt/Comfort?, Cringy (I genuinely don’t know which category this falls in)

Word Count - 4.3k

A/N - Post prison Reid with the season 7 team. I didn’t proofread like my last few posts. I just started school and I’m already tired af. :)

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join my taglist here!

—————————————-

You walked into the bullpen and to your desk in your heels, placing your belongings in their rightful place. You decided to get some coffee before you were suffocated by your obscene amount of paperwork. You were still trying to get acclimated to the fast-paced environment at the BAU since you just joined 4 months ago. No matter how stressful it was, you loved it. You weren’t that close with everyone on the team just yet but they always supported you when you needed it.

You froze as you were walking out of the breakroom with your mug in your hand. It was Dr. Spencer Reid, resident genius and arguably the hottest guy around. You had developed a bit of a crush on him since you first joined but stayed out of his way, afraid that you’d do something horribly embarrassing. He walked in and flashed you a charming smile that caused you to drop your mug, coffee and shards of ceramic lying on the floor.

You looked down in horror, “Shit.” You scrambled around to find something you could clean the floor with. You didn’t look up because you already knew that everyone’s eyes were on you.

You were crouched down, carefully picking up the pieces of ceramic when you saw two very familiar and attractive hands come into your vision, “Let me help.”

You looked up to see the very man that caused the mess, “It’s um, it’s alright. I- I got it.”

“I don’t mind,” he placed his hand on yours to take the ceramic out of your fingers, “Let me help.”

You couldn’t help but blush nervously at the contact, “Um, yeah, okay. Th- thank you.” He hummed in reply and continued to pick up the ceramic as you wiped the coffee with the paper towels in your hand. The two of you finished cleaning fairly quickly and he led you towards the breakroom to wash the coffee off your hands and get you a new cup of coffee.

It was awkward, to say the least. Neither of you had anything to talk about because you barely knew him, aside from the fact that he was stupid hot. You were 24 and you just graduated from the FBI academy, you were… fresh meat some might say. You were timid and barely spoke unless spoken to. Spencer was 11 years your senior which would erase any chance you had of going out with him. Even if you were near his age, he probably wouldn’t have been interested— he was way out of your league.

“Y/N?” you looked at him as he chuckled lightly, “I was asking if you’d like anything else in your coffee.”

“Oh, oh I- I didn’t realize that you were um, talking to me.”

“I just assumed since you were staring at my hands while I was making your coffee and nodding your head while I was talking about how scientists recently found live viruses in the melting glaciers.”

You mentally face-palmed yourself, “S- sorry I was distracted.”

He smirked, “By my hands?”

Your eyes widened, “N- no! I was um, thinking about m- my… um, date l- last night?”

“Oh, I didn’t know you went on a date.”

You didn’t either, “Yeah I was o- out. Yesterday. On a date.”

“That’s great! I should get back to my desk, here’s your coffee,” he handed you your coffee and walked out of the room. You always thought you were better than those girls who would swoon at the sight of their crush, guess you weren’t. You shook your head and walked out of the room to get your work done, hoping that everyone had forgotten about what had just occurred moments ago.

————————-

It had been a couple of hours since the whole coffee fiasco and you were on a roll. You got most of your work done and were ready to drive straight home to bury your face in your pillow to cringe at what happened that morning. You were finishing up your last file when you felt an intoxicating smell waft around you and a soft breath on the soft skin of your neck. You immediately turned around and swung your forehead into someone’s face.

You placed your hand on your head out of habit as Spencer did the same. ‘Shit did I just headbutt the guy I’m madly in love with,’ you thought.

“Spencer. D- Dr. Reid, I- I’m so so sorry I- I just thought you-”

He shook his head as the two of you laughed in tandem, “No no I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, I just needed to ask you for a favor.”

“Y- yeah, whatever you need.”

“Do you think you could look something up on your computer?”

“Sure, a- anything.” You turned towards your computer as he approached you again from behind, resting his face just above the crook of your neck. You could smell the surprisingly delightful combination of mint and coffee while his unruly curls tickled your ear.

“Could you go onto the website of the library near your apartment and check if a book series is there for me?”

“Yeah, what book series?”

“365 Days,” he said bluntly, as if he hadn’t asked you to check if a trilogy filled with hardcore BDSM scenes was at your local library. You nodded and gulped while quickly typing into your computer to find out if the books were there.

“Y- yup. The- they’re there.”

He sighed, “Great. I’ve been trying to find them but I haven’t had any luck at the places near my apartment. Thank you, Y/N.” He moved away from the side of your face and placed both his hands on your shoulders, squeezing to show his ‘gratitude’. He left the bullpen quickly, probably to pick up his books and get some lunch while you tried to wrap your head around what just happened.

Spencer came back 5 minutes before his break ended and rushed to his desk. He placed the books in an area that would be in your eye line and not anyone else’s. You blushed at the thought of your office crush reading erotic romance books by himself. What you didn’t realize was that you were doing the same thing you did that morning, staring mindlessly at his hands on top of his pile of explicit literature.

“Y/N, if you have a question, just ask it.”

“O- oh, I-,” you shook your head as you paused, “I j- just didn’t realize you read um, those kinds of books.” You looked back at him as he shot you an inquisitive look, amused by your bewilderment. “N- not that there’s anything wrong with… y- you know, books with BDSM.”

“I watched the movie out of curiosity and decided to read the books to compare and contrast the differences between the original and the film,” he stopped to shake his head out of disappointment, “The movie was a letdown, honestly. Its portrayal of the BDSM community is laughable and the way they romanticized Stockholm syndrome rubbed me the wrong way. I read the books on the way over and I can tell you that they’re much better.”

You nodded in disbelief, “S- so you’re part of the BDSM community?”

He looked you in the eyes and most likely saw your timidness written all over your face while shrugging, “I dabble.” And with that, he looked back down at his files and continued on with his work. You weren’t judging him, quite the opposite in fact, you were glad that he felt comfortable enough to ask you to find books that others might judge him for and talk to you about it. Maybe you couldn’t be together, but at least he’d be your friend— though your rampant infatuation with him wasn’t doing you any good.

—————————-

You were called in during the middle of the night for an urgent case that needed the team’s immediate attention. You walked into the roundtable room and sat down next to Emily.

“Hey, Em.”

“God, why can’t we just eradicate all serial killers so they stop bothering us.”

“Because that would put us out of a job,” you giggled, amused by her grogginess.

“I’d rather be jobless than woken up at,” she checked her watch, “2:47 in the morning.” The two of you laughed together as the rest of the team soon filed in. Spencer chose a seat right next to you and scooted the chair to your side. You looked over at him to try to figure out why he would want to be so close to you. His knee brushed yours which caused your leg to instinctively shoot to the other side He saw your curious, frightened glances and smiled back at you politely while you nodded, red flushing your cheeks.

Penelope quickly briefed the team on the most recent case. Hotch rushed everyone to the jet, he was probably exhausted too, being a single parent and all. You sat down near the back to avoid keeping the rest of the drowsy team members with the light you were shining down on your book.

“Can I sit here?” You looked up and saw Spencer pointing at the seat next to yours.

“Y- yes, sure.” He sat down and looked straight ahead quietly as your heart started to race. You tried to read your book but your hands were shaking, the action visible through the subtle rippling of the pages.

“Are you cold?”

You looked at him, “Sorry?”

“You’re shivering,” he pointed out.

“Oh, I- I’m alright.” He nodded, unsatisfied with your answer as he took off his suit jacket and laid it over your exposed arms. His kind act didn’t even register in your brain, you kept staring straight at his jacket trying to figure out what to say or what to do. At that point, you were punching yourself internally. No one had ever made you act that way before, no one ever made you clumsy or speechless or dumbstruck. There was something different about Spencer, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

While you were stuck in your own world, Spencer’s eyes fluttered close and his head softly landed onto your shoulder. You were awoken when the familiar intoxicating scent of his apple shampoo hit you, your head turned slightly. Your eyes were blessed with a sight that was not meant for human eyes, Spencer Reid and his signature curls strewn across your left shoulder as soft, even breaths escaped his lips. ‘Fuck, how am I supposed to read now?’

You pulled his jacket to try to cover the both of you, mostly him, to keep him sleeping for longer. Something told you that he hadn’t rested in a long time. You couldn’t help but wonder why he was always around you, not that you minded, of course, you just didn’t think that you were worth his precious time.

The jet began to prepare for landing which startled the sleeping angel next to you, he woke up and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry for um, sleeping on your shoulder-”

“I- it’s really no problem. You just distracted me a bit, that's all.” Your eyes widened at the last part of your monologue as he chuckled.

“Good,” he replied as you gulped, “That book is really boring, so I basically saved you from 539 pages of nonsense.” You laughed, still stunned by your words and his ability to play off of them so easily.

He gestured towards the door of the jet, “We should get going now.” You nodded, still speechless. He left his seat first as you followed suit. Spencer walked down two steps of the stairs as he turned around to wait for you to walk down with him. You mindlessly followed his actions but ended up missing a step, causing you to lunge towards him. He used his arms to envelope you, hoping to keep you from getting hurt, as the two of you fell and hit the pavement.

You lifted yourself off of him, “Spencer, I- I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?”

He laughed, “I’m alright, are you?”

“Yeah, I- I think so.”

You looked at him longingly, savoring the physical contact. He lifted his head slightly as his hand moved to squeeze yours. The two of you looked at each other for what seemed like hours, his eyes glaring into your soul. All you wanted was for him to be able to look at you like that forever even though you were setting yourself up for disappointment. What surprised you was his lack of disdain for your presence. All you did was cause trouble for him, spilling the coffee and making him help you clean up, him sacrificing his jacket for you, and now this. That was why you liked him so much, his overflowing heart and caring nature— it was attractive and refreshing for someone to be so kind.

Derek made a disgusted sound, reality smacking you right in the face, “Y/L/N, stop trying to ride Reid so we can get to the hotel. I’m already tired and I need to sleep before I hear the two of you eventually bang it out.”

The two of you looked at each other as both of your eyes traveled down to the position you were in. Crimson flooded your cheeks as you realized you were straddling him and quickly moved off of him to save the little dignity you had left. Spencer chuckled behind you as you walked towards an SUV. You saw his reflection in the car window as you opened the door, he was smiling at you. You laughed to yourself quietly as you closed the car door.

You sighed as you made it into your hotel room and plopped onto the bed. You were always so distracted by Spencer and it was genuinely becoming a problem. You found yourself staring at him for too long, lingering around his desk, unintentionally standing near him, amongst other things. He was addicting, so much so that he’d pull your attention from what mattered most. You weren’t always so obsessed with boys. You were at the top of all your classes and focused on your work instead of going out to bars or hanging out with your friends. Sure, it wasn’t the best decision for your mental health but it got you to where you were. Then, Spencer came around, and all that focus that you prided yourself on before circled down the drain with one of his dashing smiles. You were distracted by a chimera and it had to stop.

————————

Your morning was very… difficult. You stayed true to your decision and tried your best to focus on the case and not Spencer. You didn’t avoid him, per se, but you stayed out of his way and stuck with Emily. Over the past few months, she has become your best friend and confidant. She knew all about your ‘little’ fixation on Spencer and comforted you while you dealt with your pipe-dream of a crush, even though she thought it was quite possible for him to like you back. Spencer, however, was making your endeavor much more difficult than it had to be. He intentionally stood next to you, hoping to be paired up with you when Hotch assigned everyone tasks. He also sat next to you at every table and made more eye contact with you than normal. He tried talking to you and you replied with short and curt answers. He didn’t seem too bothered when you gauged his reaction to your shift in behavior.

The days continued on as everyone whizzed around to try and find the missing children. You were preoccupied which took your mind off of Spencer, making your focus much easier to achieve. You were proud of yourself for prioritizing what mattered instead of your fondness for someone who didn’t feel the same.

Eventually, the team cracked the case and found the unsub. Hotch asked you to stay behind and communicate with Garcia in case anything happened. While you waited for the team’s return, you started to clear up the scattered files on the table and untack the pictures from the board. You were relieved to hear that the unsub was apprehended with minimal damage done with all of the children found alive and unharmed.

You walked back into the BAU’s designated room after handing some files to a local police officer to find Spencer packing his messenger bag, “Where’s the rest of the team?” You looked at Spencer expecting a prompt response, but it never came.

“S- Spencer?” You walked a little bit closer to him but as soon as you were in a 5-foot vicinity, he left the room wordlessly. Your heart dropped a little bit knowing that he was upset with you. He always knew when you were feeling down and made sure to make your day a little bit better by talking to you. Maybe this case was one of those cases, he probably needed someone to make him feel better and you weren’t there. Instead, you were trying to steer clear of him, not thinking about the effect it had on Spencer.

You and Emily headed to your hotel room, mini bottles of alcohol in a plastic bag.

“Shit, I’m ready to just get drunk and sleep on the jet ride home tomorrow.” You nodded silently, unscrewing one of the bottles and gulping it down.

“Damn, what’s going on with you?” She took one of the mini bottles and sipped slowly, which was odd for Emily considering her tendency to get hammered after every case.

“I think I hurt him.”

“Who?”

You sighed, “Who do you think?”

“Y/N, you need to stop overthinking things.”

You stood up and waved your hands around as if you were pleading, “I- I’m not. He ignored me, Em.”

“You started it,” she blurted, laughing after she realized she wasn’t helping.

“I’m just trying to move on. I know he wants a friend but I can’t be that for him if I’m constantly distracted.”

“What if he feels the same way, have you ever considered that?”

You looked at her, folding your arms and rubbing your temples out of frustration, “I know he doesn’t.”

“How?”

“He just can’t. It’s impossible for him to like someone like me.”

“Ugh, you’re so insufferable. ‘Someone like you’, what’s that supposed to mean? You have a line of eager for a chance to ask you out. You’re beautiful and smart and accomplished. I’d fuck you if I had the chance,” she shrugged.

You laughed, “Thanks, Em. Seriously though, there’s no way he likes me. H- he’s too good for me and he deserves so much more. Sure, we’re friends but he doesn’t. I just can’t see how us being together could work, I’m 24 and he’s 37. Don’t you think people would talk?”

“I’ve known him a lot longer than you have, I’ve seen how he acts around women since he was 25. He’s more confident now and makes a lot of the moves but he still has the same tells. All he does is look at you, and if he’s not looking at you he’s thinking about you. If you two genuinely like each other then age shouldn’t matter, you’re grown and the relationship would be perfectly legal. Since when have you ever cared about what other people think.”

“I care about what he thinks of me. Maybe it’s just in my head but I just think he’s out of my league. Emily, if I go to him and confess my feelings, he’ll shut me down for sure. I- I mean there’s absolutely no-” She handed you another bottle for you to chug, or maybe she just wanted to shut down your incessant rambling.

“I’m telling you right now that he feels exactly the same way, 100%. Remember when you wouldn’t stop yapping about him and his BDSM books or the way he looked at you when you fell down the jet stairs,” she laughed at the last part as you smacked her arm, “I won’t tell you what to do, but you should absolutely go to him and tell him about your feelings.”

You quirked your head to the side, confused by the contradicting nature of her last sentence with a mini bottle of tequila still in your mouth. “A- alright. I- I’m going to go to him and apologize for being distant but I won’t tell him about how I feel. I’m not ready, Em.”

She sighed, defeated, “Fine, but drink some more so you won’t have that stick up your ass while you talk to him.” You shook your head as the two of you laughed for the next half hour. You just drunk enough to take the nervousness of talking to Spencer away but sober enough to still comprehend what you were going to his room to do. You knocked on his door, standing tall, ready to face whatever nasty glare Spencer might send your way. As you heard the door click softly, the confidence you had before vanished into thin air, ceasing to exist.

He opened the door slightly and waited for you to say something, “H- hi, can I um, come in?” He l contemplated shutting the door in your face for a little bit before ultimately swinging the door wide so you could enter.

You swirled around to face him as he crossed his arms, towering over you. “I should explain why I haven’t been talking to you today.”

“You mean ignoring me.”

You looked up from the carpet and at his face, “No! I- I wasn’t ignoring you, Spencer.”

“Really, because it sure seemed like it.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I-”

He cut you off, “I thought we were friends, Y/N. These past few months have been great for me because I got to make a new friend which I don’t do often. I- I think I’m closer to you than anyone else on the team and the way you made me feel these past few days.”

“I- it’s not your fault, Spencer. I- I’ve just been distracted and I needed to focus on the case.”

He took a few steps forward, “What’s been distracting you and what does it have to do with me?”

You looked at him, feeling like you’ve just been put on the spot, “Spencer…”

You started to walk backward in order to relieve some of the tension brewing between the small space between you two. He grabbed your hands and pulled him toward you, “No, tell me.”

You shook your head, “I- I can’t, Spencer. Y- you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“No, I w- won’t tell you.”

The two of you were so close to each other that you could practically hear his heart pounding against his ribcage, “Tell me.”

You looked up at him while he was staring down at you, “No.”

“Yes.”

You scrunched your face, “No, Spencer.”

“Yes, Y/N.”

“Spencer. No.” You pulled your hands out of his and ran them through your hair to relieve the heat plaguing your body.

He scoffed, “So, that’s it? You’re not going to tell me what’s going on with you. What’s distracting you? What if we never talk again because you have to ‘focus’? I can fix whatever’s distracting you.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Of course I can’t, because you won’t tell me what’s going on with you!”

“You, Spencer! You are what’s going on with me! You k- keep distracting me and keeping me from doing my job. You’re always so close a- and trying to fluster me all the time. I- I can’t focus with you around me.” You think back to Emily’s advice and decide to take it, trying to salvage your friendship with Spencer. “I- I’ve had a… crush on you since I joined and my attention was already diverted then. That coupled with your teasing isn’t making my life any easier. I- I can’t have you so I need to start pulling away. I need to stay focused because my job is all I have, Spencer.”

He looked up to see tears rolling down your cheeks. He moved towards you to wipe them from your face and lifted your head with a finger under your chin, “You don’t have to pull away, Y/N.” You looked up at him questioningly, your oblivious nature taking hold of your critical thinking.

“Y/N, can’t you see. I’ve been trying to get closer to you because I like you too.”

“W- what?”

He laughed, “Why is that so surprising?”

“I- I just didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“Let me tell you a secret,” he tucked your hair behind your ear and leaned down, his stubble tickling your neck, “I’ve had a crush on you too.”

You looked at him and smiled timidly, as he pulled you into his chest, “I- I’m sorry for pushing you aside, Spencer. I’m sorry for making you feel like that.”

“It’s alright, Y/N.”

He leaned down to kiss you but you pulled away, “I um, my breath. I’m kinda drunk and my breath probably smells like tequila.”

He laughed, “I guess I’ll just have to kiss you when I take you out on a date then.”

You nodded as he picked you up and swung you around the hotel room. He kissed your cheeks and forehead as he swung you onto the bed and attacked you by tickling your sides.

“Spencer… Please, ugh I-. Spencer!”

“I’m happy that you feel the same way. Honestly, I didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“I’m glad that we have each other now.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the night was filled with cuddles and talking. The two of you went on and on for hours about the little things you two noticed about each other. Laughter filled the air as a warmth settled between you two. Spencer confessed that he had never had anyone fawn over him before and neither had you— now, the two of you could say that you did.

—————————————-

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[mikauzoran]

Adrienette Accidental Baby Acquisition: Chapter One

Read it on AO3: Adrienette Accidental Baby Acquisition: Chapter One

Summary:

“Who is he?” Adrien inquired, stepping closer to Marinette to peer curiously at the cute bundle in her arms.

Alix tactfully dropped the first bombshell: “His name is Louis. He’s Future Chat Noir’s son.”

Adrien nearly fell over in shock as his legs threatened to give out on him.

“If he’s Chat Noir’s son,” Marinette reasoned crankily, bitter about having her moment interrupted yet again. “why don’t you bring him to this timeline’s Chat Noir for him to take care of?”

With a sadistic smirk, Alix dropped bombshell number two: “Because you’re Louis’s mother.”

Marinette made a strangled noise as she looked frantically between the baby in her arms and the superhero seemingly wrecking Marinette’s five-year plan.

Marinette’s love confession is interrupted when Alix brings Marinette and Chat Noir’s son from the future for Adrien and Marinette to babysit for a week.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Rating: T

When Adrien got Marinette’s text during his music theory class to meet her outside of their university’s coffeeshop because she needed to talk to him, he’d assumed that it was about plans for the upcoming Toussaint break or plotting to help Nino propose (again).

It wasn’t until he saw her leaning against the horse chestnut tree looking grim that it occurred to him to worry that something was wrong.

“Is everything alright?” he inquired tentatively as he jogged up to meet her.

She inhaled deeply and then slowly blew out the breath. “Not really.”

“What is it? Anything I can do to help?” he pressed, anxious to do anything within his power to assist.

She gave him a fragile smile and a mirthless laugh. “Just listen and let me finish because I’ve been trying to tell you this for a long time.”

He blinked in confusion, his head tipping to the side. “Okay?”

She forced a painful-looking smile as she confessed, “Adrien, you’re one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I know. I’ve always admired your ability to see the best in everyone and give people a second chance, even when they don’t deserve it.”

Adrien’s face heated up at her words, a warm feeling spreading throughout his chest at her praise.

“I’m really honored to be your friend,” Marinette continued resolutely. “I’m grateful that we’ve grown closer over the years because getting to know you and spending time with you has always been a joy—whether we were third-wheeling on Nino and Alya’s dates or watching obscure movies that our other friends aren’t cool enough to appreciate.”

Mindful of his promise to let her finish uninterrupted, Adrien only smiled dopily and enthusiastically nodded, hoping she’d understand that he felt the same about her.

“I respect you, Adrien,” she stressed as a bittersweet smile crawled onto her lips. “That’s why I feel like I need to be honest with you.”

Adrien’s warm, fuzzy feelings immediately vanished as he felt the shift in the conversation’s undercurrent.

“I’ve kept this from you for far too long,” she sighed. “Please believe me when I say I’ve tried probably a hundred times to tell you, but something always went wrong.”

He held his breath as worst-case scenarios whirled like a maelstrom through his mind. Was she breaking off their friendship? Had he unknowingly been doing something rude or annoying or embarrassing his whole life and now she was going to tell him to stop?

“I’m just going to spit it out because this has gone on long enough, and I really just need some closure so I can move on with my life,” she informed tiredly, throwing him for even more of a loop.

“Adrien, I’ve been in love with you for almost seven years now.”

Read the rest on AO3

[boom-bakugou]

‘Wedding Crashers’ - Katsuki Bakugou

A/N: Sorry for my inactivity but here’s a little sorry and thank you present for me hitting 1k! I love you all sm <3

Pairings: Pro Hero!Bakugou x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+, ooc deku; but it’s more of a headcanon, semi-public sex

Summary: Your ex-boyfriend Izuku Midoriya inviting you to his wedding is a definite stab in yours and Katsuki Bakugou’s backs. But you’ll show him.

Word Count: 5k

masterlist

You had considered your morning to be relatively normal, breakfast not burnt, coffee just that right amount of bitter to stir you awake. But those happy moments of peaceful bliss were soon to be fleeting as your mail arrived. Sifting through the pile to what you assumed would be bank statements and bills; your fingers landed on a cream white envelope. Your name printed neatly in a cursive font that when you followed it with your eyes for too long it almost made you want to puke. Tearing it open haphazardly, you read the perfumed content inside.

‘Dear Y/N Y/LN,

We are very proud to invite you to the blah blah blah wedding of pro hero blah blah Izuku Midoriya and blah blah blah.

RSVP blah-‘

Wait what? The taste in your mouth was pitiful. Yes, you and Izuku had dated years prior and after being childhood friends, yet it didn’t end… swimmingly. But this didn’t feel like inviting a childhood friend to your happiest day, no, this felt like a backhanded swipe at your ex-girlfriend who was well known to the media to be single. Pro-Hero gossip magazines made sure of that.

Throwing the invitation onto your countertop, your eyebrows furrowed with spite. You felt weak almost, watching your ex-best friend grow up to be this bountiful hero with merch in every store that you went to. Though you had triumphed well in the hero charts yourself, nothing ever seemed to compare to him. The golden boy. You never really got over the fact that he ended things because being a single hero was more postable than one who was tied down. Until now. Mr. Big shot getting married. It really made you question your integrity,

Recuperating your thoughts, you realised your phone was buzzing on the couch next to you. Checking to see the influx of text messages, you saw Katsuki Bakugou’s name fill up your lockscreen with notifications.

Bakugou: tell me you got the stupid fuckin invite too

Bakugou: the nerve that nerd still fuckin has

Bakugou: inviting his childhood ‘friends’ after all this time

Bakugou: tch, one big publicity stunt if you ask me

You chuckle as you scroll through the messages, gladly knowing that you weren’t the only one feeling this way.

Y/N: so what’re we going to do about it?

Bakugou: what do you mean?

Y/N: well we can’t show him up at his own wedding but we can sure stir something of our own

Bakugou: well that idiot is marrying some nobody extra

Bakugou: probably to show how ‘great’ he is

Bakugou: so how about if two top pro heroes rsvp’d together?

Y/N: you mean us?

Bakugou: no, midnight and grape juice. of course us you idiot

The idea brewed in your head for a moment. Izuku had always been nice when he was younger, and Katsuki hadn’t exactly been the nicest towards him in return. You were always the mediator in those situations. However when Deku grew and grew in the hero charts he started to lose touch with reality. Not really remembering what being a hero was about besides having his face stuck on a lunch box and raking in the dough for it. It was sad. You didn’t know who he was anymore.

Y/N: fuck it, i’m in

-

“You know, don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a tux before.” You chuckle, arm linked around Bakugou’s as you stepped out of the chauffeured car together. You were here to make a scene. Paparazzi glistened everywhere like a moth to a candle flame. You couldn’t wait for the tabloids in all honesty.

“Shut up.” Bakugou grumbled, almost in embarrassment. But his smile didn’t show a hint of it. “Not looking too bad yourself.”

You had coordinated well. Your maroon dress flowed in the gentle summer breeze and matched perfectly to Bakugou’s equally coloured tux. You two were such a pair it was nigh impossible to not think that you two were together today. And the paparazzi made sure of that indefinitely.

You couldn’t lie about how the service was beautiful, because it was. However you didn’t need to hear the shutter clicks of a camera go off every few words they spoke. It was distracting, and you and Bakugou shared a glance each time it occurred. Stifling a giggle, you hoped no camera would pick that up. Even if they did, they’d probably pin it to ‘look at these other heroes wishing that they were the next to get married!’ they’d eat that shit uplike ambrosia.

“Can’t wait to see the reception.” You mumbled towards Bakugou, your plastic smiles never fading for the cameras. Izuku making a show of himself and his new bride.

Watching him was almost bittersweet. The happy memories of you three as children flashing behind your eyes. Now replaced with a fame hungry number one hero. Where had all the time gone?

“What’s got you so perplexed?” Katsuki asked, filtering your way through the crowd, making your way to the cars that would deliver you all to the reception.

“Just-“ You sigh, allowing the cover of other heroes to hide you from the all seeing eyes of the paparazzi. “I miss him, y’know? Miss how we used to be.”

“Tch.” Bakugou didn’t care about the scowl present on his face, your words ate him up like some sort of bacteria. “Thought you said that he was the most selfish guy you’d ever dated?”

“He was but like-” You watched Izuku’s back as he held his new partner’s hand. Waving to the cameras and not watching her, as lovely as she looked in her wedding gown. “As weird as it sounds, I sometimes miss high school.”

Bakugou’s eyes scanned your face, following your eyesight to Midoriya. Fucking extra. The thoughts swam around his head, polluting his mind. He knew Izuku’s break up with you had been a massive toll on your mental health and your ego. He made you think that you weren’t good enough for him, and Bakugou never got over that fact. How could he pass up on you for anything else?

Breaking apart from the conglomerative of wedding-goers, Bakugou lead you to one of the specially hired cars to take the guests to the reception. Despite Bakugou’s abrasive and rough nature, you couldn’t help but notice how delicately he held your hand. Not tugging you along or haphazardly grabbing you by your wrist, making you follow him. No, his fingers interlaced with yours and you felt the coarseness of his palms due to the explosive nature of his quirk.

“Katsu?”

“Hm?”

“You can let go of my hand now, we’re in the car.”

“Yeah- whatever.”

Catching up in the car, you both realise how little time you have to actually spend with each other. Though you and Bakugou communicate 1000 times more than you do with Midoriya, heroing keeps you both busy. No times like these to goof off and be with each other. You missed it, you missed your hot-headed idiot friend.

“Hope there’s less fuckin’ paparazzi here. Think I’m gonna go blind with those extras pointing them in my face.” Bakugou rolled down the tinted window a smidge to watch as the car drove into an old looking manor hall where guests had already begun to arrive.

Flowers decorated the ground and just as you two got your hopes up, you saw a line of paparazzi at each side of the staircase leading to the double-doored entrance.

“Well, it was worth a try.” You remark to him, patting his back as you chuckled to him.

Bakugou was the first to exit, standing beside the door so he could reach for your hand to help you out while you fixed your dress. Just as the two of you began to reach for each other's arms to walk into the reception together; there was a brusque tug to your dress. Upon further inspection, a member of the shutterbugs had stood on a long section of your dress. Allowing himself to get pictures of it stretched out and flowy.

“Hey!” Bakugou didn’t waste time on pushing him off the tail end of the dress. “Try anything funny like that again with my girl and say goodbye to that shitty camera of yours!”

The man nodded, slowly letting his camera hang loose on his neck. The rest of the cameramen easily caught the scene but you both couldn’t care less. What’s a wedding without a little drama?

“Thanks Katsuki.” You note with a soft smile.

Bakugou’s hand tenderly makes its way around the small of your back until his arm is holding you close to him as you walk inside. His hand sitting in a caring way at your hip to assure that nothing could come between you both. You could not wait for the media to plaster this fake-ness on every outlet that they could! However, you liked the thought of relishing in the attention right now.

Once the dining festivities had come and gone. It was time for their first dance. Watching as he held her under the blue lighting had your heart hurting slightly. The thought that that could’ve been you. But Bakugou was right. He’s probably marrying some quirkless nobody not only to make himself look better, but being with another hero is messy. You both had media eyes on you; but… you couldn’t help but wonder how different your life would be like if Midoriya was how he used to be.

You didn’t even notice Bakugou’s eyes on you the whole time. Not wanting to waste a second of his eyesight on the show Izuku was putting on. You were a sight of your own. How could you not see that you deserved someone better? Someone like him. You always spoke about how everyone was under a facade when supporting Deku, but you never correlated that to yourself.

After a short while, others began to join in on the large dance floor. Perfectly spacious for all the famous faces and their egos. Bakugou’s hand traced down your arm until his hand clasped with yours, gently leading you to the floor yourselves.

“What’re you doing?”

“Come on, who’s to say we can’t have some fun too huh?”

Smiling at him, you followed his lead. His hand occupying your waist before pulling you in closer to his chest. Flowing with the music, you couldn’t help the cheesy smile on your face; nor the one that spread to Bakugou’s.

“Why’s no one ever tied down Mr. Ground Zero then?” Your question takes Bakugou by surprise, showing a small blip in your combined graceful swaying to the music.

“No ones good enough.” Such a Bakugou answer.

“You’re sounding like Izuku, but he probably got that from the old you.” You jested, earning an eye roll from Bakugou. “I’m being serious! Come on you can tell me.”

It takes him a moment to figure out an answer, so much so that he doesn’t focus on dancing anymore. He just stands there holding you before locking eyes again.

“Just haven’t found the right person to deal with my bullshit I guess.”

There’s a beat of silence and your eyes search his face for answers. You didn’t even realise how close you were to him. His breath fanning your face, the smell of oak and fire and burning sweetness engulfed your senses. You also didn’t realise how the two of you sank closer and closer into one another.

“Hey Kacchan, mind if I steal her from you?”

Izuku’s voice almost sends you two flying away from each other like same sides of a magnet.

“Ask her yourself she’s not mine.” You turn from Bakugou to give a friendly smile to Midoriya, allowing your hand to rest in his. “I’ll be at the bar. Free drinks and all.”

His answers are short, curt. Yet before you can ask him if he’s alright Deku spins you and begins to dance with you in his arms at the tempo of the new music track that’s playing.

“Long time no see Y/N!” His manner has always been so chipper, despite the facade of it all. Though Bakugou and you went there to purposefully to cause discourse; you don’t think you have it in you to be mean to Izuku’s face.

“Yeah, look at you! Married man now, must be scary.” You chuckle, almost nervously. It was like speaking to a stranger.

“Well I guess I’ll find out! But come on that’s been the subject of the whole day! I wanna know about you and Kacchan.” You felt like Bakugou right now, the old nickname boiling your blood as it did his. There was no doubt Izuku took influence from Bakugou and his fiery personality; but he took it in all the wrong ways. Using confidence to become cold, uncaring.

“Oh- haha, Katsuki and I aren’t-“

“Y/N. Don’t lie to me! I can see the way he’s burning holes in my tux from over here.”

Turning you to the music so you could face where Katsuki was standing, you peaked behind Midoriya’s arm to see Bakugou with an all too familiar scowl on his face. Chasing down a beverage in a crystalline glass in one easy gulp.

“If you ask me Midoriya he’s always looked at you that way.” You laugh your statement off but you meant it with malice.

“Midoriya? Feeling formal today are we Y/N?” He had completely lost touch of who he used to be. “I used to look at you like that when I saw you with other guys, I know what that look is.”

His comment stops you dead in your tracks, not allowing for him to swing you to and fro to the music.

“Actually Midoriya I don’t even remember you looking me with jealous intent other than when I was higher than you on the hero charts.” Shaking yourself free from his towering position on you, you stormed off to the patio doors, letting yourself be eaten by the oncoming darkness of night.

Crying at your ex’s wedding. Not something you’d think you’d ever do in your lifetime but here you were. Thankfully you couldn’t see any reporters or such outside so for now, it was just you and your tears. Maybe you were too harsh on him? You used to be friends right? What happened to that kid who wanted to be a hero who you looked up to? What happened to the boyfriend you had who kissed you goodnight and ignored you when your face was on the TV more than him or snapped at you when he was announced lower than you and broke up with you because ‘heroes dating are messy!’ No. Bakugou was right. He was a self-righteous bastard now.

“Y/N?”

You half expected Midoriya to come out after you but he was probably entertaining other guests. Luckily, as you turned you saw Bakugou standing outside with you, signature hands in his pockets with a dumb, sympathetic smirk on his face.

“Hey.”

“I promise I didn’t punch that asshole at his own wedding but I can tell you he got a fuckin’ earful from me. Hope the paps got a good pic.” His tone was joking but it hadn’t cracked a smile from you yet.

“S’alright. Wouldn’t give two shits if you did.” You sniffled, collecting mascara tears on your fingers and wiping them on the decorative concrete bannisters of the balcony. “Shouldn’t’ve fucking come. This was stupid I have too much baggage for this shit.”

You turned away from him, allowing yourself to lean out on the barrier, looking into the distance on the warm night. You could hear Bakugou give a small sigh before his arms snuck around your waist, pulling your back into his chest before placing a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

“That fuckin’ idiot didn’t know what he lost and it’s my fault for influencin’ him.” The pain in his voice was evident. Did Bakugou blame himself for the hurt Midoriya caused you?

“Katsu-“

“No. That extra is so blinded by the shit everyone has to say that he’s forgotten what real life is. Doesn’t care about his stupid fans or his friends or the best most understanding girl in the whole fucking world. A girl I know does the best for everyone no matter what her own situation is.” You turn around to face him, not wanting to leave his embrace. “Y/N. No matter how much I’ve always wanted to fuckin’ win I’ve just wanted the best for you. And when that bastard did what he did to you- I- fuck. You look at him, like you’re waiting for him to just notice you; but every time I see you it’s like I’m seeing you set the stars in the sky every fuckin night. You just- you’re fuckin’ everything to me Y/N.”

It was completely silent on the balcony besides the low thump of the music from indoors, but it was deafening. But it all faded when his lips attached to yours. It was so clear. All that pining over Midoriya when he was just copying the one who actually saw you for who you were. He even copied Bakugou’s crush on you, most likely to make him jealous. But your mind had no time to think of that when all you could feel was Bakugou.

It was like you had never been kissed before, never felt the love and sensuality behind it. Soft and moist but breathy and warm. For once Bakugou didn’t wish to win a battle, he wanted unity and to be together with you. His hands danced over the delicate curves of you in your dress; taking in every inch of your perfect body. The gasp that fell from your mouth was perfect entrance for Bakugou’s tongue to mingle with yours. The sparks hot and electric between you both was like liquid lightning.

Just as your hands found home in his hair, you heard the all too familiar sound of today of a photo being taken. Bakugou is the first to break the kiss to find the intruder of your special moment. Your lips already feel blushed and bruised but your heart was nearly pounding out your chest.

“Fuckin’ print that in your gossip magazine you extra!” Bakugou couldn’t help but heartily laugh at the man as he shook with worry after catching the intimate moment. He wanted to show you off. He wasn’t ashamed that his lips had captured you to be his.

“Let’s go somewhere more private.” He whispers into your ear and you eagerly nod, grasping his one hand with your two as the both of you manouvered your way through the wedding guests until you finally found a small closet down a hallway where no one from the party had entered.

Slamming the door shut behind you, your eyes drank in Bakugou’s frame. How had you missed that small boy you once knew had now become this beefy, beautiful man? Who was looking at you with the same awe and intent? Bakugou cornered you against the door of the supply closet, latching his lips together with yours once again as if he was scared he’d never be able to taste you again.

“You’re fuckin’ perfect.” Katsuki’s lips mashed with yours as his hands slid up your dress, the coarseness of his fingers against your soft skin sending shivers down your spine.

All those years of being a hero really showed on Bakugou, he lifted you with ease as your fingers traced scars on the back of his neck; holding on for support. His hips pin you against the door and you feel his cock hardening between the fabric of your underwear and his suit pants, you can’t help the whimper escaping your lips at the friction of him.

Bakugou’s hands slip under the straps of your dress, letting them fall delicately to your sides as his lips ensnare yours. His grunts and your whimpers enough to make any passerby know what was going on in the confined space of the closet. His fingers glide beneath the dress which allowed it to fall further as Bakugou felt the weight of your breasts in his palms.

“God you’re fucking everything princess.” His fingers slide beneath the lacy fabric to thumb your nipples, perking and tugging it with his forefinger.

Breaking the kiss, his head lowers to encapsulate the bud in his mouth. Gently suckling it before rolling it feverishly between his teeth. Your hands snaking through his hair only spurring the assault on your supple flesh. Biting your lip to stop the obvious moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. You swore you could see stars as his tongue flicked against the pointed nub- sending your nerves wild.

“Bet that fucking extra never treated you like this baby.” He matched your height, his gaze never leaving your own as he took both of your tits out of your bra; kneading the flesh and buds of your nipples as he spoke. “Just wanted to get himself off, I know how to fuckin’ treat you right.”

“Then do it… Kacchan.” You spoke with such gusto in your breathy state, knowing that the old nickname would make him see red. And god did it send him feral.

His body pressed you further into the door, even if it felt like he couldn’t. The aching feel of his cock rubbing against your clothed core made you mewl in want of him. His fingers slid beneath the hem of your dress and made little pricking motions into your inner thighs until he traced a slit over your panties.

“Shit you’re fucking wet.” The pads of his fingers kneading against where you wanted him most, a chuckle falling his lips as your hips did their best to try and get any sort of relief.

“Katsuki please- please fuck oh my god-“ Your neck craned back as you felt your body take control. The low growl in Bakugou’s throat at the sight of you barely touched and already begging for him.

Tracing his fingers along your décolletage he stopped when he met your parted lips before roughly shoving his fingers in your mouth, pressing down the body of your tongue.

“Please please please-“ Katsuki mocked. “Please what princess? Better use your fuckin’ words or else.”

An insufferable smirk played upon his lips as he felt your cunt clench around nothing at his dirty words. Pulling his fingers from your mouth, he wiped the remnants of your spit across your tits; awaiting for your response.

“Fuck me Katsuki- please you’re all I want. God you’re all I need.” Although said in your aroused state. You meant it- and he knew that.

Not wasting any more of the precious time you two had before you were inevitably found out considering your blatant disregard for being quiet; Bakugou used his hand to tug off his belt. Nearly setting his suit pants on fire as his quirk crackled in anticipation for you.

Your body clung to Bakugou’s for support, his whole body easily keeping your pinned high between himself and the door. Once his lower half was sufficiently stripped, it was easy enough for him to rip the sides of your underwear off.

“Katsu-“

“Shut up.”

Not wanting to disagree; you did. Hips bucking against nothing as the cool air prickled at your hot cunt. Bakugou held his manhood in his hand, rubbing the head of it in your slick and providing stimulation to your clit. Your thighs tightening around his waist like a vice grip at the well needed attention.

“You’re fuckin’ soaking baby. So needy.” Bakugou mumbled against your neck, allowing himself and you to get off momentarily at the friction. You could only nod to his words which were making you more and more wet for him. He was such a tease.

“Come on princess. Tell me you want my cock. Tell me.” His voice growled as he repeated himself, leaving marks upon your nape that would surely bruise because of his harsh bites and sucklings.

“Katsuki I need you- only you. Only you.” Your repetition is barely a whisper but he heard it, and despite his rough nature Bakugou confines your lips in a kiss as he sheaths himself inside of you.

Taking a few slow thrusts to allow yourself to adapt to his size, it’s only a moment before Bakugou completely bottoms out inside of you. He watches your face shiver in pleasure which he mirrors. He clasps your hips so firmly his knuckles turn white; it didn’t even hurt as all you could focus on was him inside you. Your hands find their way to his biceps, gripping on for some tension relief and you could still feel his muscles flex even beneath his suede blazer and the shirt.

“What a good fuckin’ girl, taking my cock like this.” Bakugou’s voice is a low growl as he thrusts into you, the sounds of your clothes brushing against one another and the slaps of your skin interacting was like a sinful symphony.

The smell of caramel danced in your brain as Bakugou worked up a sweat absolutely pummeling himself into your sex. You grasped onto him as if your life depended on it, moaning into his neck as his cock slid in and out of you. You didn’t even know how much time was passing as he rutted himself into you relentlessly- yet as you both came to your highs, you could both barely move from the thrill of it all.

Steadying your breaths back to a regular pace; Bakugou slid you down from where he had pinned you against the door and let you fix yourself as he then did himself. You sorted your dress and pulled any tugs from your hair when he had pulled it before slapping Bakugou’s arm.

“You dick! You ripped my underwear!”

“Hot.” He chuckled, fixing his belt loops and stuffing the ripped panties into his pocket.

“Not funny! I’m not parading about with no underwear on!”

“We’re getting the fuck out of this extras stupid wedding. You can wear my clothes at my place.” Suitably sorted and not looking like you had just had the brains fucked out of you in a closet (despite the reddening bites and bruises that were now appearing on your neck), Bakugou held you close. Yet instead of taking the corridor to the exit, he was leading you back to the main dance hall.

“Where’re we going?” You hashly whispered to Bakugou, your thighs still wet from your slick and the cool air against your unclothed pussy making you heat up from embarrassment.

“Gots to do one thing before we go.” There’s a shit eating grin on his face, you couldn't help but wonder what on earth he was planning now.

Midoriya stood talking to other heroes all dressed in their formal attire and Bakugou (with no consideration of their conversation) roughly tapped his shoulder to get his immediate attention. His arm around your waist was so tight but being see with Bakugou like this made you feel almost proud.

“We’re just heading off.” Bakugou had replaced his smile for his usual scowl, something he had always looked at Izuku with.

“Going so soon? It’ll be a shame you guys!” Izuku’s voice was plastered in falsehood. He probably regretted trying to gloat over you two. Bakugou held out his hand for Midoriya to shake it, your brows furrowed on what was obviously a stepping stone to Bakugou’s plan.

“I know I might not be better at you right now in the hero charts.”

Uh oh.

“I’m glad you’ve finally come to recognise that Kaccha-“

“But I am better at you at something for sure.”

Bakugou used Midoriya’s hand in his to pull him closer, readying himself to whisper in his ear.

“Cause I just fucked the shit out of your ex-girlfriend and I know you never made her come as hard as I did.”

Your face burned with the heat of a million suns, but the glower on Izuku’s face was priceless. And you couldn’t help but see the flash of a camera capture the moment as Bakugou’s hand fell from his and slipped once again around your waist.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?

Oh boy.

Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.

For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.

Welp, there's a lot to consider here.

First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.

Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.

What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.

The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.

Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.

Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.

I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.

Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...

Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.

And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".

He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).

I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.

Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?

Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.

Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.

Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.

I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.

I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.

Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?

Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.

Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”

No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.

Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.

Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.

I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.

Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.

Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition. 

This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.

For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.

Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.

Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.

Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.

The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.

Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.

(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)

Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.

But hey, we aren’t dead.

Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).

Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.

What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.

If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.

Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.

I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).

Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.

Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.

TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E131 (March 30, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Liam O’Brien and Sam Riegel!

Brian points out that a lot of Caleb’s greatest fears have come to pass. Liam: “It’s funny, because he’d kind of believed for a while that those things weren’t going to happen. After a while, he got complacent.” He notes that it was extra wild because everything with Trent popped up again in the midst of that complacency. And how did it feel to be defiant toward Trent? “I think Trent successfully made Caleb question if Caleb really was in control“ at the dinner party. “I feel like anything that I do is part of his plans for me, or is that just gaslighting? I’m legitimately scared of that dude.” Sam: “Of Matt?” Liam: “Sure.” He highlights the disconnect between knowing that the M9 is mechanically powerful and could possibly defeat Trent in a dice-and-stats battle, versus fearing him in a story sense and being convinced he can do almost anything.

Sam, on Luc’s death: “That was brutal, man. Matt Mercer is a-- he hates children! Clearly. He actively sought to kill a child in the campaign in as brutal a way as possible. He hates children and wants them dead. Canon. No, but to RP, that was horrible.” He highlights that so much of Veth’s arc has been about trying to get back to her family. “We had to choose something and we thought we were making the right choice. It was all Veth’s fault, and it was pretty rotten. My heart was beating pretty fast, and I certainly didn’t want to have my son die live on the stream. I don’t know what Veth would have done. That’s the end, that’s over. It’s almost worse than when your own character would die. This is something that would also kill Veth.” After the episode was over: “just shaken. I also didn’t know what to do next! That felt like a turning-point moment for my character, weirdly so close to what we assume to be the end arc of this campaign. I texted Matt later that night and was like, that’s it, Veth’s out, I’m tapping out.”

There’s an interlude in which Sam discovers a new dream to record an episode of this show from his Peloton. Dani informs him that she will not be inviting him back.

On Astrid, Liam: “I literally don’t know what she’s doing. I know that she’s dangerous, she always was ambitious, and there’s not been a moment where Caleb let his guard down with her. He’s not trying to reestablish what they had. He cares for the both of them, for Astrid and Eodwulf. He thinks about it a lot, still. He can’t tell how much she buys into everything that she experienced and is now living as a full-grown adult. He suspects that she’s bought in and is not going to change things, because she believes in the system, as much as he’d like to peel her away. He does believe that they want what’s best for the Empire, and stopping whatever wants to come vomiting out of a hole in the frozen north is good for everyone. And they’re powerful. They’re not trustworthy, obviously. But there’s enough at stake to make it worth it. He could imagine a situation where they fight each other to the death.” He was convinced Astrid was going to stop them when they left the tower and was really shocked when she held back. Sam: “Not me! I’ve trusted Astrid since day one. She’s the greatest! I sent a letter to her, she’s very nice, I think you guys would be a nice couple. I believe every word she says.”

On having to decide on Veth deciding to go off and save the world after Luc’s death. “Like I said, I was ready to be done. And then I decided somewhere in there that that’s not very D&D. So I thought I’d leave it up to somebody else, so I asked Caduceus to decide for me, essentially. She knows she’s putting her other family in danger if she doesn’t go. It’s an impossible choice, you know?” Liam: “I love watching you grapple with it, because you’re a lovely father and love your kids.”

On the Sanatorium, Sam: “That was brutal, man. Matt lulls you into a sense of complacency. We’d forgotten that Caleb was a stone-cold killer! It had been a while since he went on a murder spree. Still got it!” Liam: “I never meant for this character to be perfect sunshine.” Brian: “You don’t say.” Liam: “He’s very not-perfect, and I think in his brain, he was going in with the impression that they needed to get in and get out as soon as possible. The place is crawling with people with magic ability, and I didn’t have faith that we wouldn’t be sussed out or something wasn’t going to blow an illusion.” Everything was about getting out of there as fast as possible.

Did the conversation with Yeza help with Veth’s decision? “First of all, every conversation with Yeza is a beautiful one. Every time she talks to Yeza, it makes her feel good. In some ways, she’s gotten to the point now where she knows Yeza’s going to be supportive, she knows he’s going to allow her to do what she wants, but maybe that’s too much. Maybe she needs to not listen to him, basically, and be like, no, you need to be selfish now, dude, you need to say ‘come home, I’m sick of you leaving’. At a certain point, being supportive can turn into being enabling.”

Cosplay of the Week: Jester in the snow! (liljerbear47, photography by kairiceleste on Instagram)

On Trent’s motivations for chasing Caleb: “I really don’t know. The simplest explanation is to just hammer down the nail that’s sticking up. It has crossed his mind that all high-level wizards are in danger of their own ambition and egos, so it’s occurred to him that Trent might have the same kind of ideas that Halas had in the past, and maybe Caleb was always meant to be another body to jump into. Maybe in some sick, disgusting, twisted way, he wants him to be his successor. I am thinking of the next campaign, without getting too deep in, trying to do something that is much more ride-along. Caleb is very, very specific, and I thought long and hard about all the different pieces on the chessboard for him. For campaign three, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.”

Dani: “Do I need to be keeping lore on your fucking ads?”

On the cursed dagger: “It was a tricky one, because in campaign one, one of the characters was under the influence of a cursed weapon, but it interacted with him and he knew what it was and what it did. And it affected his gameplay as a character. For me, Veth didn’t know what it was, ever. I as a player knew what it was doing, but Veth didn’t know at all. So it was kind of like my dirty, dark secret for many months. I knew this thing was coming perilously close to killing me, but my character didn’t know enough to bring it up to her friends. Nobody ever asked! So I was like, well, I guess this thing’s just going to kill me one day, and it’s kind of going to be a surprise.” Liam: “Sam, you love danger and self-destruction so much, you might as well be Mollymauk.”

On the fight in Yasha’s sequence, Sam: “You gotta put a character in your storm giant creature. It was so fun! It was so great of Matt to involve us in this encounter. It would’ve been fun just to watch, because Matt would have made it amazing and Ashley was sweating bullets, which is always fun to watch.” Sam notes he felt guilty, but Liam was going for the kill. Liam: “Matt’s gotta be careful about giving me that kind of story beat. I do not fucking care, I just fucking flip, I’m like, well, I’m going to destroy you, and I have no qualms about it. It’s too much fun!”

The Beau/Yasha tower date was in part inspired by not being able to give gifts as easily this last year. “This thing that we do together is a gift, but I love finding these moments, like the book for Jester and the tower for Yasha and for Beau. I really just wanted to give both of them a little magic for a night. I wanted them to leave this-- we’re trying to be as entertaining as possible, but shit is having an effect on all of us too, and I wanted them to have an escape, a great place to escape to.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot, plus Marion, Yeza, and Luc! (vocaz on Twitter)

On choosing Essek over Trent, Liam: “It would have been so interesting and awful and great! Essek and Astrid and Eodwulf are everything that Bren used to be attracted to that are terrible for him. Essek, hopefully he can with time find a way out of the hole that he dug himself into, but it was only two months ago where he was found out and his ambitions came crashing down around him. Long-term, I have high hopes for him, but I think it’s going to be hard.” In contrast, Astrid and Eodwulf are still “deep in the shit. It would have been really hard to navigate, but fun to play at the table. We made the right choice with what we went with. Essek’s just getting started, and Caleb doesn’t trust him entirely, because he was burned so hard not too long ago. He’s still more trustworthy than the other three. So it’s the better choice. While Caleb has all these ties on the other side, they’re really fucking dangerous. So if you have to choose, you choose Essek. But fuck that die.” Sam: “Veth, much like Sam Riegel, makes instant decisions about whether to trust someone or not and sticks to it forever. Astrid, 100% trust. Eodwulf, 100% distrust. Essek, completely distrust. I still don’t think he’s a good guy. Ikithon? Trust. 100%. Because you know where he’s coming forward, you know what he wants. I still want him dead, but I trust him.”

On Veth’s post-adventuring plans: “Veth is probably still too in it right now to think about what comes next. I, Sam Riegel, have a good idea of what I want Veth to do post-campaign.” Brian: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell us. Save it for the show!” Sam: “All she knows is she can’t do this anymore. It’s very unhealthy to be battle-wounded every other day. It’s fun for a while, but college has to end at some point, and she’s gotta go home.”

On Frumpkin changing appearance and returning to the Feywild: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but the way it feels now for Caleb is that he feels too enmeshed in everything that has happened, and too much good has happened, and too much needs to happened, that that really narcissistic, selfish goal has the risk of harming everything else, which is more important. And that’s how he looks at it now. So he’s gearing towards letting everything from the beginning of the campaign, and where he started, go, and trying to figure out what use he’s going to be now and what he’s going to do if they’re not all dead. If Matt throws that shit down, I don’t know what I will do, I think about it a lot. But turning Frumpkin white and saying you’re free either way is him preparing to let go of everything he’s been holding on to for a really long time. He’s addicted to that idea that he can fix himself, and we’ll see if that hard choice gets presented, what he might do. But where he stands now, he doesn’t think that’s going to be reality, and he sees a way that he can be of use that he never really anticipated before, so he’s slowly shifting gears towards living with the pain he was trying to remove.”

On the last request scene and confidence heading into Aeor, Sam: “I feel like that’s a good request. I think all of us realized that if we die, that probably bodes badly for the world. I feel like all of us are at a point now as characters and as friends, that the first order of business would be to take care of everybody else’s shit, although we probably have different ideas of how to do that.” Liam: “I want the Empire to be healed, Caleb has all these memories of his parents and what they wanted for the world, and he wants that too. It’s clearly not in place now, the system needs to be broken and replaced. That could be a part of Caleb’s sunset. I don’t want Caleb to die, so maybe he can work on that after. As everything starts to shake out and we start heading towards our destiny, Caleb’s just free-floating. He’s not even going after the same thing he started for. So he’s looking at Veth’s family, and Luc specifically, and seeing that’s me, that’s a little boy in the Empire.”

[bbangsoonie]

11:11

member: changmin (q) genre: angst word count: 6,802 synopsis: when changmin finds himself trapped in the past, repeating the day of your death, he’s convinced that he’s been given a chance to save you. warning(s): death

Changmin woke up with a dreading feeling. He hadn’t set an alarm despite it being a weekday. He was hoping to sleep through the day and wake up the next morning. Unfortunately for him, the sleeping pills he took the night before only allowed him rest until noon.

He checked his phone, staring at the date. A year had officially passed by since that fateful day. Groaning, he threw his phone back onto his bed. He stayed under the blanket for a while, not wanting to get up. However, the sunlight shining through his window refused to let him go back to sleep.

Declaring defeat, he sat up and scowled at the sun. It was annoyingly bright today. The weather had no regard for his mood and was unusually warm for a winter day. It pissed him off.

He heard his phone vibrate and chose to ignore what he guessed was Chanhee’s daily check in. Still not fully awake, Changmin walked towards his fridge to grab a cold water bottle. After gulping half of it down, he let out a sigh.

His brain was still at war with himself. Half of it felt obligated to visit you and half of it wanted to drown his feelings in alcohol. He stood there, zoning out, contemplating his options.

Eventually, his guilt triumphed and he found himself throwing on whatever clean clothes he could find. He trudged out of his apartment and down the stairs. On his way to the main road to find a taxi, he passed by a flower shop. The same sense of obligation from earlier made him backtrack and step inside.

It had been over a year since he last visited the place. It felt strange to be back. The emotions he came here with were entirely different from the emotions he had back then.

He asked the worker for a small bouquet of daisies and muttered a word of thanks after receiving his change. After flagging down a taxi, he braced himself for the long ride.

The car escaped from the noisy city and headed towards a more remote area. He almost laughed, remembering how often you would mention that you wanted to be buried in nature and not locked up in a jar behind glass. He used to always chide you for thinking of and planning for your death but in the end, you had been the insightful one. He never thought he’d be traveling to your grave—at least not while he was still in his twenties.

When he finally arrived, his feet rooted itself and he couldn’t bear to walk further. He hadn’t been here since your burial a year ago. A wave of embarrassment suddenly hit him. He truly was an asshole to you until the end. He couldn’t even make things up to you even after your passing.

He hadn’t made any efforts to visit you but it was painfully obvious to those around him that he was still grieving. He blamed himself for letting you die. That burden prevented him from continuing to live life without you. His friends watched as he willingly ruined his own life. He gave up dance and even came to resent music. He spent the past year surviving and not living; he filled his time with part time jobs that would earn him the money he needed for rent and food.

In Changmin’s mind, he didn’t deserve to be happy when your life was cut short. He wished so badly that he could trade places with you.

With another sigh, he made his way towards your grave. He could tell your family stopped by earlier that morning. Someone had left a big bouquet of pink flowers for you. Beside it was a photo of you smiling, oblivious to the tragedy that would occur just a few months after it was taken.

He forced a smile, recalling how you used to complain about how everyone would bring you pink flowers instead of daisies for every occasion. Daisies were your favorite flower and Changmin was the only one who ever remembered.

He placed his own bouquet down and sat next to it. Holding up your photo, he spoke to it as if you would reply.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Y/n?” he attempted to say in a cheery voice. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back. I… I was afraid. Seeing you like this really makes reality hit as if waking up in an empty bed isn’t a strong enough reminder.”

He set the picture down and turned around to face your headstone. Hesitantly, he wiped at a spot and fell into silence. 

“Everyone tells me that the accident wasn’t my fault. I don’t believe it but even if it was true, I still hate myself for letting you leave when the last words I said to you weren’t that I love you. Not only did you die a painful death, but you died with the hurt I inflicted on your heart,” his voice cracked as he choked back tears.

Flashbacks of that day flooded his memory. He winced, finally confronting what he couldn’t for a year.

Changmin had left the dance studio angry. Angry at himself. Angry at his inability to perfect the choreography. Unlucky timing had you outside waiting for him to finish. He had planned on blowing off some steam by meeting Sunwoo for drinks but was stopped by you. You had noticed how upset he was and wanted to cheer him up but was brushed off.

Changmin knew he was snappy when he was pissed and didn’t want you to be on the receiving end. He wanted to spare you from walking on eggshells around him and knew that Sunwoo would quietly let him rant without getting hurt by his actions or words. Instead of clarifying, however, he let you misunderstand and walked away.

You watched him leave, staring at his back. The past month with him had been rocky. You knew he was stressed from preparing for the upcoming competition but you still missed the bubbly Changmin. Nowadays, he was more sensitive and on edge than happy and affectionate.

You had bought matching couple rings in hopes of brightening up his mood. They were simple rings made of silver and meant for the pinky finger. It was to symbolize your promises to each other—to always love and appreciate each other. Yours was already on your pinky but his was left in the box you were hiding in your pocket. You sighed and figured that you’d get the chance to give it to him later.

Except that chance never came. Changmin only came across that ring later when he found it on his table back at his place.

“You know, I left you knowing you probably thought I was irritated with you too. It was because I assumed I’d get to clear that up later. Like always. But later never came,” he fidgeted with the ring that now never left his own pinky.

What a cruel way to teach him a lesson.

“I guess at one point, I started taking you for granted. Taking our time together for granted. Who would've known that death would literally do us part before we even made our vows?” he chuckled at the irony. “I never told you but I intended on proposing to you as soon as we graduated. I got ahead of myself and was planning things way in advance. Would you believe me if I said I already decided where to go for our honeymoon?”

He could almost hear you laugh. If you were next to him, you’d lean on his shoulder as you doubled over in laughter. You had loved and teased him for his sweet side.

“That’s how sure I was that we’d get forever together. You spent the rest of your life with me but now I have the rest of my life ahead of me without you. A little unfair, don’t you think?”

Changmin had so many regrets. He wanted nothing but to go back in time and re-do things. After bottling everything inside him for a full year, everything was spilling out now that he was there with you.

You and Changmin hadn’t moved in together but you often slept over. That day, you waited until night for him to come home. He never did.

Sunwoo had called you from the restaurant they were at, asking you to come pick Changmin up. He wasn’t completely wasted but he was definitely too drunk to go home by himself. Sunwoo apologized, saying he couldn’t take him home because he had a prior arrangement to attend.

So you ended up sitting across from your boyfriend, waiting for him to sober up a little more before leaving the restaurant. This was not how you thought you would spend your anniversary with him. When he stormed off from the dance studio after spending the whole day there, you had already presumed he forgot what day it was for you two. You tried to be understanding, knowing that he felt extreme pressure about the competition.

You didn’t expect any gifts but you had hoped that you would at least have dinner together. But now that was also out of the window. You suppressed your annoyance and reminded yourself of how happy Changmin was when he was dancing. You wanted to be supportive of him.

“Why did you come here?” Changmin asked. Something about his tone irked you.

“What?” you frowned.

“I’m a fully grown man who can find his way back home fine,” his words dug a knife into your heart. You wondered if he forgot that you were the reason why he made it home safe and sound after drinking.

“You should be thankful that I always take care of your drunk ass,” you huffed. “You know, you can’t just count on me to do all these things for you. I do it because I want to but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be appreciated.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he sighed.

You hated that look on his face. He had that look often nowadays. That tired look that screamed that he was too tired to even argue with you. It scared you. Even arguing took interest that he didn’t seem to give you these days. You would rather fight with him than live in such silence.

So you did. You exploded at him.

“No, Changmin, I don’t know. I never know what you’re thinking anymore. You don’t tell me anything and just assume that I can read your mind. And it feels like I’m expected to play the role of your girlfriend when you don’t even act like my boyfriend. You need to take a step back and realize how grateful we should be towards each other.”

After your outburst, you waited for his response. You waited for him to either yell back or apologize. Anything to show that he still cared. Instead, he said something that made you wish that he just didn’t say anything at all.

“Why are you being like this today?”

You felt the knife dig deeper into your heart and his words stunned you into silence.

“You’ve changed,” you whispered.

And with that, you got up and left. Realizing he screwed up, Changmin ran out to chase you. It had gotten late and dark while he was inside and the sky was now pouring buckets. Without an umbrella, you were getting hit by the rain that hid the tears wetting your cheeks. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed onto your wrist and spun you around to face him.

“You asked why I’m being like this? Today? Well, news flash, Changmin. Today’s our third year anniversary but I guess I’m the only one who cared to remember,” you cried.

His heart shattered at the sight of your face. He never meant to upset you. And he certainly didn’t mean to forget your anniversary. It had slipped his mind while he was focused on practicing. All that seemed futile when he saw the pain on your face.

You didn’t give him a chance to reply and shook his grip off of you. Wanting to avoid him, you ran to cross the street before the light turned red. At that moment, however, a car failed to break in time and the rain caused the driver to lose control.

Changmin’s eyes widened as he watched the vehicle crash into you. The noise was terrifying but seeing your body fly in the air and fall to the ground was even more horrifying. His legs moved before his brain processed the scene he just witnessed. He ran to your side and tried to shake you awake. His hand trembled when he saw that it was bloodied by the wound on your head.

The driver came out of the car, feeling both disbelief and guilt about what just happened. Changmin screamed at him to call the ambulance before returning his attention back to you. He begged you to stay alive but you took your last breath that night at 11:11.

After Changmin came back to Seoul, Chanhee caught him outside of his apartment and dragged him to dinner. He knew that his friend would be mourning all day and not remember to eat. So they went to a nearby restaurant and he practically had to shove the soup into his mouth.

By the time Changmin arrived home, it was late. He washed up and plopped onto his bed, wishing the day would hurry up and come to an end. Staring at the ceiling, he waited for sleep to take him out of his misery for a while. Eventually, his fatigue took over and he fell asleep the second the clock turned to 11:11.

When he awoke, he didn’t feel as groggy as he normally did. He felt strangely well rested. Wondering how long he had slept for, he checked his phone for the time. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he saw the date. It was yesterday’s date but with the previous year. He figured it was a cruel glitch on the device’s part and threw it back down.

He got up to get ready for his shift and fumbled around to look for the sneakers he just recently purchased. No matter how hard he looked, it was nowhere to be found. He found it odd but settled for an old pair of sneakers he hadn’t worn in a while.

After he put them on, he turned the doorknob to leave. He swung the door open and was shocked at the sight in front of him. You were standing there, holding a bag of groceries. Just like you did a year ago.

“Uh Changmin?” you stared at him, waiting for him to move so you could walk in.

Changmin was speechless. His brain felt like it stopped functioning; he didn’t know how to react to the familiar scene in front of him.

“Is this a dream?” he asked out loud.

His heart was racing. You hadn’t shown up in his dreams in so long. Now that you appeared to him, there were so many things he wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he was sorry. But in that moment, all he could manage to do was pull you in for a hug.

“Is something wrong, baby?” you asked.

“Everything. N-nothing,” he stuttered.

Was he supposed to talk to you about everything that happened? Was he supposed to just enjoy reliving this day? He couldn’t decide.

You chuckled at the peculiarity of your boyfriend, finding him endearing. You motioned for him to move over and let you in, which he complied while still in a daze. You placed the groceries on the table and began to put away what needed to be refrigerated.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk for your boyfriend.

He slowly took the drink you handed him and nodded. He then shook his head, not wanting to repeat his mistakes.

“Today’s our anniversary. We should do something special,” he suggested.

You lit up, excited to go on a date with him. You were glad you chose to dress up today.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Hmm how about that art gallery you’ve been wanting to go to?” he smiled at your happy expression. “I haven’t had lunch yet so we can eat some pasta before we go.”

So you two headed out to your favorite Italian restaurant and he ordered a bunch of dishes. You had protested, insisting that you wouldn’t be able to finish but he insisted that he wanted to spoil you that day.

He felt like he was on cloud nine as he watched you enjoy your meal. He missed this. He missed seeing you wiggle in your seat because of how good the food was. He missed cutting your steak for you because you were clumsy with knives. He hoped the dream wouldn’t end any time soon.

Noticing that he wasn’t eating much, you picked up a slice of pizza and held it in front of his mouth. His cheeks filled up after he took a bite and you laughed at how cute he looked. Your laughter prompted him to laugh as well, showing off his dimples that you loved.

You left the restaurant stuffed and was ready to fall into a food coma. Yet you couldn’t refuse when Changmin bought you your favorite ice cream. You strongly believed that people had a second stomach for dessert. You walked with the ice cream in one hand and with Changmin’s hand in the other. You stuck closer to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. He turned to look at you and didn’t want to ever look away.

After spending a couple of hours at the art gallery, you found an arcade and tugged him inside. You bet on dinner over three rounds of a vintage game, which you won. You cheered when your victory flashed across the screen, making him chuckle. To be honest, he let you win by pretending to slip up at the end but seeing your joy was worth it.

To Changmin’s discomfort, you chose the samgyupsal place that you two had fought at. Of course, you didn’t know that and just wanted to spend the night eating meat and drinking beer. Although hesitant, he agreed to your menu selection.

Changmin was indescribably elated to be able to sit and chat with you for hours. He didn’t even notice the rainstorm that began once again outside. He was too busy listening to you talk about one of your assignments for a random elective class you took but ended up liking. You rambled on about how your professor was extremely kind and lenient with grading.

By the end of the night, you two left the restaurant and he grew anxious, anticipating the end of the dream. You took notice of his sudden change in demeanor and questioned him about it. Before you could hear an answer, however, your hat was snatched and taken away by the wind. Not wanting it to get wet and dirty, you chased after it.

It all happened so fast. Again. Just as you were about to catch the hat, it blew further away, causing you to step out into the road. And again, there was nothing Changmin could do about the car that crashed into you.

This time, Changmin woke up with the feeling of falling from a tall height. The sensation startled him awake and he jumped up gasping. He scanned his surroundings, unsure of what he just experienced.

“A blissful dream turned into yet another nightmare,” he groaned.

He paused, reaching out for his phone to check the date. Both his jaw and phone dropped at the repeated date.

“No way,” he muttered. He shook his head, refusing to believe what was happening. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

He racked his brain for any plausible explanations. Surely this was another dream. A dream within a dream. Or maybe he’d finally lost it and was hallucinating everything. Believing in the latter, he made up his mind to finally go to the therapist Chanhee had been bugging him to go to. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes to head out. He paused when his hand grabbed the door.

“Surely it won’t happen again… right?” he wondered out loud.

To his surprise, you were there again on the other side of the door when he opened it. Trying to figure out what was going on, he slammed the door shut and froze. Outside, you blinked at the door in your face. Puzzled at your boyfriend’s behavior, you knocked.

Inside, Changmin flinched at the sudden noise. He was bewildered and beyond confused. This had to be a joke. Or a dream. Or a hallucination. How could you be real? There was no way you were actually back.

Or maybe, it was his chance to set things right. Maybe, if he did everything right, he could prevent your death. The idea sounded ingenious and insane to him. Taking a leap of faith, he flung the door back open and gazed at you. Still skeptical, he extended his hand out to hold yours. It felt warm, unlike the last time he held it in the rain. He wanted to cry in both shock and joy. He swallowed the lump rising in his throat and took the groceries from you.

“Are you okay, baby?” you asked, following him inside.

“I’m okay as long as you’re with me,” he said in a shaky voice.

You chuckled as you began to organize the groceries just like you did the day before.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

Changmin stared at the milk you offered again. So many thoughts ran through his head as he tried to understand the situation. He determined that this was a blessing. He was given an opportunity to go back in time and change things. To save you.

“Let’s go watch a movie today,” he said.

He thought out and planned the rest of the day. He would sneak out in the middle of the movie to go buy a present for you. Using the excuse of an upset stomach, he went and bought a necklace he had been eyeing for months. It was quite expensive so he had saved up little by little and now he could finally afford to give it to you.

With the corner of his eye, he saw a couple looking at the ring section together. As if caught in a trance, he found himself walking towards the engagement rings. He gaped at the endless options of diamonds that sparkled as bright as your eyes. He bit his lip, contemplating if he should buy a ring as well. He initially wanted to wait until you both graduated but graduation never came for you. It was one of the biggest regrets of his life.

So he carefully took a look at the rows of rings until he saw one that immediately felt like it was meant for you. He quickly asked the worker to help him with his purchase and ran back into the theater to finish the rest of the movie with you.

You didn’t suspect a thing until he took the necklace out after lunch and put it on for you. You beamed at the surprise gift, eager to show him yours. Shyly, you retrieved the couple ring from your purse.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you explained as you slid it onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

He smiled at how proud you looked.

“See?” you showed him the ring on your own pinky.

“I love it,” he held his hand next to yours, admiring the view. “But uh I actually have a ring for you as well.”

With his heart pounding, he pulled out the square box and stood up. He took a deep breath before getting down on one knee, making you gasp. You felt tears brimming your eyes as he opened the box to reveal the diamond ring.

Watching proposal videos had always made you cringe. You didn’t get why people would cry. But in that moment, it all made sense when you found yourself unable to verbally reply. As a college student, you never expected him to propose. Sure, you had thought of marrying him but that seemed like such a faraway idea. You knew Changmin would always be in your future and didn’t see yourself marrying anyone else but him. So you managed to nod before he placed the ring on your finger.

“I know the timing may seem premature but with you, I want to have the courage to do what my heart desires. I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me. I want to show the world that I’m yours. I want to spend our honeymoon at Bora Bora and have two kids together. I want to raise a dog with you, just like you always dreamed of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he confessed.

After hearing his words, you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. He embraced you in his arms and you buried your face into his chest as you sniffled. Resting his chin on your head, he wished time would stop. All he wanted was to stay in this moment forever.

By the time night approached again, he made sure to keep you away from the street and from any vehicles. You wondered why he was being so overprotective and clinging onto you. He didn’t offer an explanation and just gave you a nervous smile.

Looking at his watch, he let out a deep breath when he saw that it was almost 11 PM. His leg shook anxiously as he held your hand tighter. You had insisted on enjoying the sounds of the city in the rain so you two were sitting at a random bus stop.

All of a sudden, the cry of a child was heard. You turned around to see a little girl who seemed to be lost. You stood up to go help but Changmin sat you back down.

“You stay here. I’ll go,” he said, feeling uneasy.

While he brought the little girl to the bus stop to avoid the rain, a young boy caught your attention. He was playing with a ball and you wanted to warn him to be careful. Before you could open your mouth, however, he dropped the ball and ran into the street to get it back. You panicked, seeing a motorcycle speeding towards the kid.

You ran out to pull the child back but was hit instead. Changmin’s heart dropped at the sound of the collision. When he turned back to find you, you were laying on the wet ground with blood pooling around you. Seeing you die for the third time wasn’t any less traumatic. In fact, it broke him even more. He hated himself for letting it happen again.

“Y/n, please please wake up,” he begged as he held your face in his hands. “You can’t leave me. Not again. I promised myself that I would change your fate. Y/n, please!”

Every time Changmin woke up, that day repeated itself. And each time, he would try to keep you alive. But no matter how hard he tried, that cursed time of 11:11 always ended his brief time with you with the same outcome.

When he kept you inside, you fell down the stairs. When he tried to make you sleep by tucking you in early, you never woke up. Thinking it was Seoul that was the problem, he even took you down to Busan. Paranoid, he even spent the whole day and night with you at his place. But every time the clock hit 11:11, the inevitable would occur and he would wake up to repeat it once again.

The seventh time he awoke to the same day, he screamed in frustration.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” he yelled out.

He cried into his sleeves, wondering if this was his punishment for being unable to save you. While he wallowed in grief, he heard you knock on his door. He wiped away his tears and got up to greet you. Oblivious to his mood, you walked in and opened the refrigerator like you did the previous times.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

“Let’s just stay in today. I’ll cook you something,” he bitterly smiled when he saw that the engagement ring was no longer on your finger.

He rummaged through his kitchen, looking for ingredients. You sat down next to the counter and watched as he made you kimchi fried rice. You enjoyed watching him cook. He didn’t do it often because he wasn’t very confident about his skills but you loved the gesture. You thought it was cute when he had that concentrated look he usually saved for dancing.

After lunch, you spent the next few hours watching movies. You had eventually noticed how sad he was. You looked over at your boyfriend who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. Mustering up some bravery, you proposed watching a horror movie. You knew it was his favorite genre but didn’t watch scary movies with him often because you got scared easily. Slightly surprised by your suggestion, he agreed and let you choose one of the recommended movies on Netflix.

At every jump scare, you snuggled closer to him. Throughout the whole film, you clung onto his arm and he comforted you by stroking your head. Treasuring the time he got to spend with you, he allowed himself to feel at ease for a bit.

For dinner, you convinced him to go out to eat. On the way back, he lured you into a gift shop, kicking himself for not preparing a present ahead of time. While you were busy looking at the dolls, he managed to pick out a bracelet and slid it into his pocket after secretly paying for it. He knew it would be gone when the day reset and dreaded having to see your listless body again later.

When you two returned back to his place, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He wanted to savor every second he was able to spend with you. Noticing his gaze, you stared at him back, bringing a smile to his face. You poked his dimple, laughing at his expression.

“So I got you a little something. I hope you didn’t think that I forgot our anniversary,” he said as he put it on your wrist.

Smiling, you took out the gift you had prepared.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you said as you slid the ring onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

“See?” you revealed the ring on your own finger.

After hearing those words for the nth time, he finally broke down. He began to bawl, catching you off guard. For a few minutes, he wept as you tried to soothe him.

“Okay, spill. What’s been bothering you all day, Changmin?” you demanded.

He sighed, knowing what he was about to say was insane. He didn’t want to scare you but it all came out as word vomit.

“I’ve been reliving this day multiple times. I know it sounds crazy—it is crazy—but I was sent back in time. It’s actually supposed to be a year from now, a day after today. But instead, I’m stuck in this endless loop trying to save you. You died, Y/n. You died a year ago and you keep dying again and again! I thought I was given this opportunity because of all the regrets I had. The day you died, I was a complete jerk and you got into an accident after we argued. I blamed and resented myself. I had so many “what if’s” and “if only’s” that it tormented me,” he paused to catch his breath.

“I thought I had to repeat this day until I successfully prevented your death but nothing’s working. I can’t change things!” he cried. “I’ve tried over and over and over again. I’ve tried keeping you away from the street, taking you out of the city, and even locking us up in this damn apartment and nothing’s working! Every time 11:11 comes around, the same conclusion happens.”

You sat in silence, unsure of how to process all the information he just threw at you. He was way too emotional for this to be a joke and too upset for it to be unreal. But at the same time, you wanted it to be fake. You didn’t want to believe it. You were still so young. You had hopes and dreams you had yet to achieve. You wanted to crumble but you couldn’t bear to do so after seeing how heartbroken Changmin was. After thinking for some time, you finally spoke up.

“Maybe you were given a chance not to save me but to let me go,” you said quietly. ”You said you regretted the day I died. Maybe this is your chance to get closure. Send me off in peace. Find peace yourself.”

“No. No way. I’m not letting you leave me again. Not after all I’ve been through,” he said, desperately hugging you. “I finally get to hold you in my arms again. It’s okay if I have to relive this day forever. As long as I can see you, I’m okay with that.”

“Changmin...” your heart broke at the sight of his crestfallen face.

You let him keep his tight hold on you. He was so afraid you’d disappear again that he refused to let you or himself fall asleep. You looked at the clock and saw that the time was approaching.

“Baby, you know you can’t. I’m not coming back to life. I can’t. That’s not how the world works. We were blessed to have the chance to say our final goodbyes. Not everyone gets that. We’re lucky. We get to remind each other of how much we love each other and I get to tell you that I want you to be happy even if I’m not by your side. I’ll still be with you. In your heart. As long as you keep me there,” you pulled away to meet his eyes. “I don’t want you to be miserable without me. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Let me live vicariously through you.”

“But I have so many things I want to do with you. So many things I never got to say to you,” he stammered.

“Nobody gets to fulfill all their desires,” you smiled sadly. “Just know that I know how you feel. I know that you love me. I know that you want to grow old together. I know that you want to see mini me and mini you. I do too. I’m so sorry I won't be able to do that with you.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. Admitting it out loud made it feel real.

“You have no idea how badly I want to walk down that aisle with you. I want to live happily ever after while bickering with you. I want to see you dance and I want to succeed in my own career. I hardly lived over two decades but you made me so happy for most of it. I’m glad I got to love you. It’s a shame I won’t get to get my degree after studying so hard but there are bigger regrets. Like wishing I had spent more time with you. Wishing we took more trips together.”

Changmin looked at you with a pained expression. He wished that he had taken more pictures with you. That he had gone on more dates with you. That he made you laugh more.

“I guess we were given this opportunity in exchange for all of that. At least now I’ll get to leave knowing that I’m loved and that you know I love you. Our last day wasn’t spent arguing but hugging,” you pointed out.

The two of you lain wordlessly on his bed. The only sound was the clock on his wall ticking.

“Can you tell my family that I love them? And my friends too. I wish I could say goodbye to everyone but that would be greedy of me,” you said wistfully.

At his silence, you turned to look at him. When you saw the guilt on face, you sat up and beckoned for him to do the same. You glanced at the clock, taking note of the time.

“Ji Changmin, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world,” you smiled with tears in your eyes. “While we make promises with this ring, can you also promise me another thing?”

You waited for him to nod before continuing.

“Promise me that you won’t blame yourself for anything and that you’ll move on. I want you to have all the extra happiness I’ll miss out on. I’ll be expecting you to lead a fruitful life for my sake too,” you held out your pinky, waiting for him to wrap his around yours.

“It’s okay if I start to fade out of your memory over the years,” you added. “I’ll understand when my face starts to become fuzzy to you. I’ll even understand when you get married and have kids. I’ll be your kids’ godmother and look out for them. I can’t wait to see little baby Ji’s.”

“But I don’t want that if it’s not with you…” he whispered.

“Don’t be silly. You’re still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I’ll be mad if I’m the one that’s holding you back. Now, hurry up and promise me. My arm’s hurting,” you shook your pinky at him, urging him to lock fingers together.

It tore him apart but he shakily held out his hand to make his promise. More tears escaped his eyes each time he blinked.

11:05.

Changmin held your tear-stained cheeks in his hands, staring into your eyes. You hated the sad look in his own eyes but knew yours was the same. He hated the ominous feeling that predicted that this would be his last time in the loop. Now that he came to terms with the fixed ending, he would be freed from his desperate desire for a different outcome.

“Thank you, Y/n, for teaching me what love is. From when I first met you up until now, there hasn’t been a single moment that I didn’t cherish. I love you. I love you so so much. I spent the past year unable to forget you and I never will. I’m going to believe that you’ll be watching over me and I’m going to make you proud. I’m going to experience both my and your share of happiness. So don’t worry about me. I won’t be able to follow you soon but I’ll join you up there one day. Please wait for me.”

“I may be your first love but I certainly don’t hope I’ll be your last. Instead, I hope that I’ll be your endless love,” you hummed, feeling drowsy.

“Of course,” he affirmed. “I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too, Changmin.”

Changmin awoke feeling oddly comforted. The sun was shining through the window again and his apartment didn’t feel as empty for some reason. He eyed his phone and hesitantly picked it up. He was filled with mixed emotions when he saw that the year was finally set back to the present.

Out of habit from the past week, his eyes lingered on the door. You weren’t going to come knocking again but you also weren’t going to die again. You were finally sent off in peace.

His phone vibrated, notifying him of Chanhee’s daily text message. Chanhee was a persistent one as well.

Changmin decided to reply and asked him to grab breakfast together, which earned him an immediate “yes”. He told his friend to invite Sunwoo as well and got up to get ready for an outing for the first time in a long time. This was his first step in the healing process.

a/n: tbh i kinda cried writing this. i hope you cried too hehe also idk if you noticed but the line “endless love” is actually from the boyz’s “priority”. i really like that phrase and it’s been stuck in my head ever since the song came out

[violettelueur]

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || YOU AND ME. TOGETHER.

| featuring : fushiguro megumi from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors and mention of death

| form : imagine

| word count : 2393

| published : 18 november

| request : Hi can I request where you come back from a particularly hard mission and Megumi finds you and tries to comfort you even though you try to hide it

| barista’s notes : lowkey, i feel like i went off on a little tangent on this one due to the amount of words i have written for this imagine ʕ – ᴥ – ʔ i think this is the most i’ve ever written for one tbh ʕ ᵒ ᴥ ᵒʔ overall, i hope you love you cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request) and please order something again when the cafe reopens!

Walking through the entrance of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College after a long few months away made you extremely relieved that you were finally back home, away from any responsibilities that were waiting for you on the outside - probably only to set as a few missions for you later on during the weeks to come.

The atmosphere that surrounded you was nothing but tranquil, letting you begin to relax your body as you slowly began to lower your guard. Looking up towards the sky, you leisurely closed your eyes to let the soft sun rays hit your face, giving it a natural glow as you took in the nature that was gently letting you into its embrace welcoming you back to where you belong. To say that you missed Japan was an understatement, but rather you were desperate to get back.

However, the beautiful sounds of the chirping birds and the wind that was calming the world around you was suddenly interrupted once you heard some shouting from the other side of the school, causing the same birds to suddenly fly away in a panic from the loud sound that was emitted across the whole area.

Looking towards the direction of the sound, you just stood there shocked as you didn’t expect this type of event to occur so sudden, but you weren’t surprised that it had happened since this was your school you were talking about. Taking a deep breath, you forced your feet to move towards the direction of the sound, hoping to see anyone that you could confide in right now.

                                    ꕥ

After a few minutes, you had suddenly found yourself standing at the top of the stairs to which lead to the school track field, only to see the amusing site of Panda swing around a female student to which you assumed to be one of the new first years that Fushiguro was talking about to you on your last video call with him. 

“Oh Y/N over here!” someone shouted, causing you to turn to the right to see Maki waving at you with a smile on her face to which you then averted your eyes to see Fushiguro standing next to her with a wooden pole in hand.

Giving them a weak smile, you waved back at them before carefully making your way down the stairs to them, trying not to clumsily fall down in front of them as you didn’t want to worry both of them with your current state.

Just as you were about to say your greetings to them, you suddenly heard someone shouting from the middle of the field, causing you to turn towards whoever cut you off. “Fushiguro! Trade places with me! This uniform is a pain! I’m gonna go buy a cute tracksuit!” the female student shouted before she was lightly flung into the air only for her to suddenly drop to the ground in front of you. 

Looking down at the body in shock, you looked back up to see Panda walking towards you with the bright grin that could brighten up anyone’s day - well you wish it could for you right now - “Panda senpai, what are you two doing?” you asked in a confused tone, as you tilted your head to the side as if that was going to help answer your question.“These guys are weak in close combat,” Panda answered, causing you to come to the conclusion that he was trying to teach the student how to land on her feet. On the other hand, you didn’t realise Panda was looking down somewhere, causing you to follow his gaze to see that he was looking at the white bag you were holding.

‘How could I forget that I was holding it?’ you thought to yourself, coming to the fact that the mission you came back from must have affected you more than you thought.

“Did you bring gifts again Y/N?” Panda asked as he tried to get a little peak on the contents inside the paper bag, leaving you no choice but to take out his gift. 

During your time as a Jujutsu High student, you were known to go on a couple of foreign mission due to your talent in languages and that caused you to be one of the main jujutsu sorcerers to be chosen to be sent on some of these missions - so you always made sure to grab some souvenirs for your friends as they didn’t really have the chance to travel abroad as you did.

“Is this what you are trying to look for?” you playfully asked in the best way you could muster, as you lifted up a pair of knuckle bracers in front of panda’s eyes, leading them to have a little shine in them before he took them out of your grasp while thanking you for the gift. “And I assume the girl you threw on the ground was Kugisaki,” you stated, causing the girl to shoot up on her feet once she heard you state her name.

“You know who I am?” Kugisaki asked with widened eyes as she pointed at herself, causing you to lightly nod before going back into your bag to pull out a case of gold nails before handing it to her. “I heard that you used a straw doll technique, so I thought I would get these nails for you, these types are thinner but sturdier so if you infuse them with your curse energy they’ll accelerate at a faster rate than your original nails but also give a more deadly impact, they are also flammable but they won’t melt so they can act like mini fire arrows if you wish,” you explained to her as her eyes glowed in pure happiness before she crushed you into a hug, thanking you with tears in her eyes, causing both Fushiguro and Maki to walked towards you all as they wondered what was going on.

“Y/N how was the mission back in London?” Maki casually asked as she heard nothing from you for the past few weeks before you came back. However, for some reason that question caused you to stiffen up as you remembered all the unexpected events that had happened before you came back. Kugisaki noticed this change in posture causing her to unwrap her arms from your body and look at you with worried eyes.

“Y/N right? Are you okay? You got stiff for a second,” the oranged-haired sorcerer asked you, causing you to snap out of your sudden thoughts and nod at her with a small smile. “Yeah sorry, I guess I’m just a bit out of it lately, the mission was a little harder than expected but nothing too hard for me,” you commented, hoping that what you said was enough for them to not get suspicious.

Everyone, of course, believed you, once they saw a smile on your face they thought you were just tired from your flight - you did just get back from London after all. However, one person wasn’t buying your little act for even a second, causing him to come a bit closer to you and place his hand on your lower back as he saw you were gradually losing your balance, surprising you completely which caused you to turn to look at the green-eyed sorcerer.

“You okay Megumi?” you asked, wondering what was with the sudden physical contact, knowing he didn’t usually display his affection to you in public at all.

“Come on Y/N, your boyfriend hasn’t seen you in like months, he’s probably touched starved,” Maki slyly stated, causing Fushiguro to look at her with an annoyed expression while Kugisaki looked at both of you with widening eyes - shocked at the sudden news that was presented at her.

“YOU TWO ARE DATING!” Kugisaki shouted, causing you and Fushiguro to look at her before nodding like it was a casual thing. “How can that guy get a girlfriend before I can even get a boyfriend?” Kugisaki then asked herself, leading Fushiguro enough time to grab your hand and guide you somewhere away from the crowd.

Confused, you decided to just let Fushiguro guide you to wherever he wanted for the both of you to go, only to have him sit on the bottom stairs before patting the other side, indicating for you to sit next to him. Without hesitation, you sat next to him and placed the bag on the ground as you waited for your boyfriend to say what was on his mind.

“You okay?” he asked in a quiet tone as he side glanced at you, only to see you aimlessly stare at the grass below your feet. However, just like a robot, you automatically smiled and nodded at his question, “yeah I’m okay Mimi,”. However, once again Fushiguro wasn’t falling for your act as he got up and kneeled right in front of you.

Taking one of your hands, he enveloped yours with both of his making you wonder if you were the one that was really touch starved - as feeling his skin against yours caused you to realise how much you missed touching him making you take a mental note not to take his constant presence for granted - “did something happen during the mission?” Fushiguro then asked in a worried tone, as you didn’t seem as bright as you did when he last talked to you.

You looked tired. Extremely tired. Pale. Weakened. You just looked like you were completely the opposite compared to when you left for the mission.

“It’s just….” you started before closing your mouth, not knowing what to say next. You were used to the concept of death and losing comrades, so why did it affect you this much this time? Was it because you got to go home without worrying your friends? Was it because you left the families behind to weep for their deceased loved ones? Was it because you felt guilty for being the only one that survived? Was it because you felt responsible?

Slowly, you lifted your other hand and placed it over his ones that were still held on to the other. Yes, you were right, you were the one that was touched starved, there was no doubt about that at all. The feeling of his skin on the pads of your fingers made you feel alive even when you felt the opposite.

The mission was extremely harder than you had expected. The higher-ups back in London had given all the shamans the wrong information for the last task causing you and the other sorcerers to fall into something that was potentially your signed death warrant. Yet somehow you were the only one left standing after the whole ordeal with bodies surrounding you in massive numbers, even with the back up it still wasn’t enough. 

You felt guilty. Even though it wasn’t your fault. You felt like you were the guilty one. Even those you weren’t friends with many of them, they still had someone to go home to like you. If only you could have saved them. If only you could have reached them on time. If only you were aware of what was going on. Maybe. Maybe you could have…

Unexpectedly, you suddenly felt a loss of warmth from your hands, before you felt him using both of his hands to cradle your face using the pad of his thumbs to caress your cheeks, as he then gave you a light kiss on the forehead.

This little act of his caused you to desperately reach for his blue jacket and grip onto the material to try to release some of the emotions that have been building up. Gently, Fushiguro wiped the tears that fell down your face as they betrayed you when you didn’t even realise, causing you to bury your head into his chest to hide away from the world to which he then placed his arms around your body while patting your head to comfort you.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Fushiguro whispered to you, even though he didn’t know what made you become like this. Even since both of you became acquainted with each other, he quickly learnt that you took everything to blame and when both of you started dating, he realised how much you would truly blame yourself. You were mentally strong, he knew that you were able to control your state of mind like it was nothing. It was just the aftereffect of taking so much that worries him completely. And this was the result of this.

“All of them are dead Mimi, they…” you muttered causing him to hold you even tightly like a weighted blanket. “If the higher-ups didn’t give us the wrong details, they could have gone back home…..back to their families,” you continued as you tighten the grip of his jacket. “And here I am the only one that gets to come back to you guys…..I….I should have died with them”

Fushiguro’s eyes widened in horror on what you had just announced, he never thought you would say something that extreme. He couldn’t even reply to what you say, only having the ability to tighten his grip on you as if you weren’t already close enough. First Itadori, now you. Fushiguro understood why Gojo never really listened to any of the higher-ups, this is what they caused. Pain.

“None of this was any of your fault Y/N,” Fushiguro stated as he used the hand that was patting your head to now brush through your hair. “I know you tried your best, I know you did. You’ll get through this, you got me and everyone here around you,” Fushiguro continued as he tried to distract you from your dreadful thoughts. “We’ll get stronger together. You and me. Together” he stated before placing a kiss on the crown of your head like it was a spell that could cast away all the fearful thoughts that were swimming in your head.

And it somehow worked.

Releasing the grip on his jacket, you then wrapped your arms around his neck as you moved your head so that you could rest it upon his shoulder - still hiding your face away from everyone - pulling him closer (if you still could at this point).

“Yeah. You and me. Together Mimi”

[asterekmess]

Did you ever watch Buffy? The first episode where Anya was introduced was titled "The Wish" and all I can think about is if Scott McCall had ever run into a pure Sidhe where they offered him a wish. Instead of, "I wish Buffy had never come to Sunnydale." It would be more, "I wish I was never bitten to become a werewolf." But just like all feaye tricks, the outcome is more, his Dad ended up with primary custody rather than his Mom and he was forced to leave BH. And then Stiles ended up more friends with Heather and others. And while Scott's life is worse, when he tracks down the others he finds all of theirs are greatly improved.

I think about it a lot and how Scott never really dealt with the consequences of any of his actions, everyone else did, and how an episode or mini-arc could have fixed a flaw in the show's design. I mean, we were already dealing with a lot of Celtic lore, why not someone from the Sidhe courts?

I have no idea why this took me so long to answer, so apologies for that. <3 I did watch buffy! I've seen all of it, and all of Angel as well. XD

I remember 'The Wish' episode, and whoooo boy it gave me chills. I loved how big the butterfly effect was, how something that seemed so small, something that Genuinely seemed to be the cause of a lot of problems in Sunnydale, ended up being so important to how things had progressed. Because, yeah, you would think Buffy not coming to Sunnydale would be a Good Thing, right? Sunnydale didn't have all of these insane issues before she arrived. It was quiet, and nothing big or scary ever happened. Her arrival matches perfectly with when everything started going absolutely nuts, so whatever selfish ideas Cordelia had, her thought that Buffy not coming to Sunnydale would be a good thing, makes sense. Except that, as she finds out, she's entirely wrong. Buffy's arrival was a lucky coincidence, or fate, whatever your taste leans toward. She showed up right as things started going nuts, and she kept it from going SO MUCH MORE NUTS.

Now, moving on to TW, it is a fascinating mix of being the Exact same situation, and the exact Opposite. I'll add a Read More, cus' holy god is this a lot of Rambling.

Because Scott wishing not to have been bitten...yeah, the bite Did improve things. But it improved things for him. He would absolutely regret making the wish, just like Cordelia did, because he would realize how many good things the bite had brought with it. BUT, conversely, he would have to realize how many good things the bite had brought for him, not for other people, and how their lives either wouldn't have been affect, or might've even Improved without him being bitten. Without the bite, Scott wouldn't have gotten on first line, period. His health issues made very clear in the five minutes he had them that any kind of stamina based sport was just out of the question for him. If he is unable to walk through the woods at a moderate pace without needing to grab his inhaler and stop against a tree, he just plain cannot play lacrosse for two or three hours of running at high speeds and working a bunch of muscles in his upper body. He likely wouldn't have gone out with Allison, because he would have no convenient way to get her attention. Furthermore, he wouldn't have the extra senses that both impressed her on the lacrosse field, and told him about her 'family dinner' the night of Lydia's party. (I've discussed this before, but... While it's true, Allison would have still brought him the dog; that dog would likely have attacked him, and his chances with her would have been shot in the foot when they both got in massive trouble and he likely had to go to the ER for stitches or something. Without Allison or first line, he wouldn't have started hanging out with the 'cool kids,' and quite frankly, wouldn't have had anyone to help him study for the classes he was struggling with. It's true that he also wouldn't have had werewolf things to worry about, or even a girlfriend to distract him from homework, so maybe that wouldn't have been such a huge issue, but still.

If we look at other people's lives and how They would have been affected by Scott not getting the bite...well, let's talk about that.

Stiles didn't get on first line because of Scott, or because of a werewolf bite. Or even because of the werewolf bullshittery occurring in town. He was put on first line because of his abilities, and even after being taken OFF first line for missing the game, he was put Right onto the field in the next game, chosen OVER other players who were perfectly viable options. Which means, he still would've ended up on first line. Allison wasn't interested in dating before she met Scott, and part of her draw to him was based on how 'different' he was. He knew things she didn't know how he could know, he had a weird ability to calm a furious, injured dog, and he had charisma that was ALSO gained from the bite, since being on first line made Scott Much more self-confident. If she didn't end up dating him, it's likely she wouldn't have dated at all. Which would mean no hiding from her parents, no strange conflicts of interest, AND, interestingly enough --depending on her involvement in the murders, etc that would still be occurring in town--no night in the school that would scare her bad enough to ask Kate for extra help and tip her headfirst into hunter training. AND, even if she DID still end up getting those lessons from Kate? There would be no bitterness to fuel her behavior at the end of season 1.

Allison was Traumatized after Kate showed her Derek on the grate. She was horrified, and didn't know what to do about it, and while we can ramble all we want about the morality of her not confronting her family (whom she's just discovered is willing to electrocute people) about it, the fact is that she pushed the thoughts aside to stop freaking out and went to that dance. Where she found out Scott was a werewolf, and was So fucking Betrayed that she was willing to help Kate catch him and Derek. No Scott, no betrayal, no willingness to help Kate recapture the miserable man who'd been chained up in a basement.

If we go back to that specific night, and try to unfold the events from there if Scott hadn't been bitten, things get a little complicated, but I'll take a few artistic liberties. Scott isn't bitten. Presumably, he just happens to get out of the woods in time, or he gets caught with Stiles by the sheriff, or doesn't go to the woods in the first place. These all change the possible outcomes of that night. If he hadn't gone in the first place, and Stiles went alone, would he have been bitten instead? Would Scott have been dragged into all of this anyway, but without the protection and boost of being a werewolf and cured of his asthma? If he weren't the one bitten, and he saw everything Stiles gained from it, would he still have such a hatred for the bite? Or would he want it, like Erica did, to cure him and make him powerful and cool? But, let's assume Stiles doesn't get bitten either. The second half of Laura's body still hasn't been found, and Stiles has no reason to fear running back into the preserve the next day, and no real punishment from his father as far as we can tell. So, does he go back to look again? If he did, he would run into Derek, because Derek would still be there after retrieving Laura's body himself. He would see Derek and still recognize him, and from there, things might spiral, still involving Stiles in the supernatural, and it's likely Stiles would try to involve Scott, and Again we get hit with "Would Scott want the bite, if he hadn't gotten forcibly bitten in the first place?" The answer is probably yes. He wanted to be cool, and popular, and on the lacrosse team. He wanted everything being a werewolf gave him. BUT if we're looking at this wish as similar to "The Wish," then no matter what, Scott won't be bitten. He'll be transported to a new world where it just never happened, and he'll be human, and forced to watch everyone around him be just plain different. Scott not being bitten would isolate him from Stiles, if Stiles got involved in the spn anyway. We SAW how Stiles cut off his other friends once the spn starting getting in the way. He and Harley? We have no clue how close they were. They were close enough for her to tease him about his crush on Lydia, for her to wander up comfortably to the locker and talk to them. And he cut her off as soon as the werewolf stuff hit. What if he cut Scott off? To protect him, if nothing else, like he did his own father. Once he realized the danger involved, I doubt he would be willing to put Scott in harm's way.

So, Scott would not only lose first line, lose his girlfriend, lose his popularity, lose his health and strength and heightened abilities, lose his 'importance' to the goings-on of Beacon Hills, but he would also lose Stiles, who seems to have been his only friend, unless he also had a relationship with Harley.

Okay, I've rambled enough about the what if's, so let's talk about the Reason why this wish would go so badly for Scott, in such a different way than it went for Cordelia. Cordelia, first off, wished that someone Else would not have/do something, rather than wishing for herself not to have done something. She watches how fucked up the world gets, and how much worse her life is without Buffy around to save the day. Scott wished for Himself not to have done something (even something passive, like 'get bitten') and would have to watch how fucked up his world gets, and how far behind he would fall. The other's lives might not necessarily get better, because Peter is still on the loose, and the hunters are still there, etc etc, but they would still Progress, while Scott would stay stagnant.

And WHY is that? Because Scott isn't important to the story. It DOESN'T start with him. That's the Whole Point of his character. He is supposed to be the 'everyman' who gets dragged into crazy shit and becomes integral to things that he wasn't ever meant to be a part of. The guy who wanders into becoming King or 'The Hero' that will save the world, even though he's just a small lad from a tiny town, whose highest prospects were "get on first line."

He was NEVER supposed to be Buffy, or if he was, it was done Very Badly.

But Beacon Hills WASN'T a quiet town before Scott was bitten; however much he might've said 'nothing ever happens in this town.' It was FULL of bullshittery and magic from the very beginning. There was the fire, and Paige, and the blinding of Deucalion, and the death of Alexander Argent, and the Nogitsune in the internment camp nearby. All of these things were around So much longer than Scott's bite, and they'd been affecting the world that whole time too. Because yes, in Buffy, the master was There before she was, but he was literally rendered inert by the situations he was in. And the things he'd done happened Centuries before, not six years. There is a difference. Sunnydale was Not Known for the insane number of weird deaths. Beacon Hills was. And aside from the Nogitsune, every single fucking thing that happened in Beacon Hills, was attuned to the Hale family in one way or another. Deucalion's blinding occurred during a meeting on Hale land, because Talia was known as a wise leader, etc, in the area and other wolves flocked to her. Deucalion biting Argent seems unrelated (if you even believe Deucalion did that, despite being a fucking pacifist before Gerard blinded him), but again, it occurs just a couple hours away from Beacon Hills, which is Hale Territory. The one who plays the Buffy role here? Who shows up at just the right time, and launches themself against an endless wave of evil, with slightly enhanced senses and a thorough need to do good and not back away from things that 'aren't they're problem'? The actual hero who is somehow tied to everything going on in ways even they don't understand? Was Derek. The guy who entirely unwittingly allowed Julia Baccari to survive, because he was trying to be merciful to his first love. Who entirely unwittingly was manipulated into giving up information that let a hunter kill his family. Who followed his sister back to town after six years of just trying to survive in New York, fell into a fucking tragedy, and decided to stop the bad guys anyway, even though he knew he didn't stand a fucking chance.

And as annoyed as some might get. The 'everyman' who stumbles onto the set and accidentally becomes integral to the saving of the world? The one whose ambitions are small and who expectations are smaller? Who is misunderstood, and has abilities that aren't recognized or appreciated, that doesn't really fit in, but tries their best anyway? The literal Angel to Derek's Buffy?

Is fucking Stiles. The son of the sheriff who just could not let it go when he discovered there was something funky going on. Who hung around on the edges, even though he wasn't really wanted, because he needed to help. Who ended up saving Derek's life over and over, and becoming so important as to be Derek's anchor? Who literally WENT DARKSIDE and HAD TO BE NEARLY KILLED, even though Derek didn't to kill him???

I know how it sounds, but JD SAID he took inspiration from Buffy. The issue is that his parallels are between DEREK AND STILES, and BUFFY AND ANGEL. Respectively.

Derek might act like the broody bad boy, but it is STILES' mentality that matches Angel's behavior, and it's Derek who matches Buffy.

I'm so fucking off track. Scott would be miserable if he ever managed to get a wish and used it to keep from having been bitten. And it would be sad. I would feel bad for him, had I watched something like that happen. Seeing him realize that most of the good things he had, he only got because of the bite. That Stiles would still be on first line, that Lydia and Jackson would still be the popular kids. That Allison wouldn't know he existed, or if she did would avoid him entirely. That Jackson would never have been turned into the kanima in the first place. That everyone else would move on and up in life, and he would still be standing at the bottom step. Because it wasn't his actual limitations that were holding him back, it was his refusal to accept them, to work with them, and to just plain stop Envying Everyone Around him, and start living his own fucking life instead of trying to steal other people's.

Scott wishes he were Cordelia, and I promise that would backfire too.

[lxngbottom]

A Cold Night | N.L

in which the reader is best friends with neville, & she swore he would ask her to the yule ball. she is forced to go alone without anyone’s knowledge.

warnings: just angst honestly, & swearing

word count: 1,575

im watching gof rn by myself & i just came up with this randomly so enjoy!

—

y/n y/l/n sat in the (now) glamours great hall. kids her age, younger, & older, laughed as they all danced. everyone was dressed in formal attire, even y/n herself who was never too keen on getting dressed up. whispers broke out when people saw her, saying how beautiful she looked. but, the look on her face contrasted from her baby blue dress. it was one filled with envy, and spite for the ginger girl that danced in the green dress.

y/n brought the bottle once again up to her lips, discreetly. the bottle was filled with muggle alcohol, as she knew it would be the only way to get her through the night.

she watched as neville smiled, laughed with ginny. they looked to be having the time of their life. and as much as y/n wanted to be happy for him, she couldn’t bring herself to be. her whole being was filled with rage, and the worst part was; it was beginning to become noticeable.

y/n looked over, and saw harry and ron with their dates, sitting down. they looked just as bored as she did. she looked around once more, her eyes landing on hermione and her Bulgarian man. she smiled lightly, happy that at least her girl best friend was having a good night. hermione had never glowed so much since y/n had known her, and it brought some serenity.

but, she thought about the conversation that had occurred between them, just a few days before this:

“y/n! the yule ball is in three days and you’re telling me that you still don’t have someone to go with?!” hermione exclaimed, her face filled with concern for her friend.

“don’t remind me, mione’. please.” y/n responded, plopping down onto her bed. she looked down at her fingers, remembering that neville had told her, seamus, and dean that he was going with ginny weasley.

“well... there must be someone!”

hermione began to think to herself, surely not wanting y/n to go all by herself. that would be completely unacceptable in her book. “i don’t think ron or harry have a date yet. maybe you could ask one of them! i’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” hermione suggested.

y/n shook her head, “they’re going with the twins...”

hermione sighed, a feeling of guilt penetrating her chest. “well... is there anyone specifically that you would want to go with?”

the question made y/n’s heart snap, as yes, there was someone she had in mind. neville longbottom. her best friend since first year. she assumed that neville would just ask her, and of course she wouldn’t have declined. she had fancied the Herbology loving boy since the second she laid eyes on him, and three years later, that still hadn’t changed.

when neville had informed her that he was escorting ginny, she had lied to him and said that she had a date as well. but, of course, she just didn’t want to look like a pathetic fool in front of him.

“yeah, actually. i’ll ask them tomorrow and let you know, hermione.” y/n responded, earning another small smile from the dirty blonde.

“great! there’s no way they would turn you down!”

but when the next day came, there wasn’t another person. y/n had lied once again, just to not seem pathetic in front of one of her close friends. she had even told hermione that the imaginary boy said yes, and that she was very excited to being attending the ball with him.

y/n took another swig of the bottle, her eyes still not leaving neville and ginny. maybe it was the effects of the alcohol, but y/n felt as if her emotions were about to burst right from her chest. she imagined a scenario where she slammed the bottle on the ground, grabbing everyone’s attention, and just storming out to leave everyone in question.

but, of course she couldn’t do that. she didn’t want to ruin other people’s nights.

time seemed to go by quickly, and y/n’s anger was quickly replaced with sadness. she looked down at her dress, hating it. she felt as if she had just wasted her time coming.

tears brimmed her eyes, and she quickly stood up to storm out. she did so whimpering, trying her best to hold back tears.

when she met the cold night, it nipped at her nose, causing a single tear to slip down her face. she quickly took her heels off, the alcohol making it increasingly difficult to walk in them without stumbling.

she looked around a few times, just to make sure no one was present. when she realized she was alone, she let out a small sob.

it wasn’t fair. it just wasn’t fair. y/n swore that neville would be the one to take her, and that she would be the one on the dance floor laughing with him. but, the world doesn’t always work in our favor. she took another swig, and continued to cry to herself.

by the time the bottle was empty, y/n was drunk. she began to see doubles, and knew that it was time to just to turn in for the night. there was no real reason to even be here. not now, or even in the first place. she had no idea why she even decided to come.

as she began walking towards the staircase, letting her drunk mind consume her, a familiar voice called out for her,

“y/n!”

she turned her head, and her heart broke once more when she saw the person in question. he looked so handsome.

“what, neville?” she responded angrily, just simply wanting to disappear from his sight.

he looked her up and down, noticing her makeup running, and the empty bottle in her hands.

“where are you going? and, why are you crying?” he asked concerned, stepping closer to her. her breath hitched as he did so, and he began to put the pieces together of what he thought was going on. “merlin... did your date dump you? i’m so sorry, y/n. ginny and i—“

“no.” she interjected, “he didn’t dump me.”

neville’s eyebrows furrowed out of pure confusion, “oh, well then... why are you leaving? you seem really upset.” the boy moved some hair from her shoulder, secretly taking in how beautiful she looked. runny mascara and all.

“yes, neville. i’m upset. i’m glad you noticed...” she slurred out.

neville’s face dropped, “are you...” he began, still trying to out the pieces together, “are you drunk, y/n?”

y/n chuckled spitefully, her emotions being the only thing driving her at the moment. “yeah, neville. i’m drunk. i’m very drunk, actually.”

he noticed the edge in her tone, the anger. what was going on with her?

“y/n... you know you can talk to me, right? we’re friends.”

y/n laughed once again, this time, taking a hair clip from her hair and tossing it on the floor. “yeah, whatever, longbottom. just go back in. your date is probably waiting for you.”

neville was completely lost. y/n never acted like this towards him.

“y/n, seriously. what in the bloody hell is wrong with you, tonight? where is your date?”

finally, y/n broke.

“i don’t have one.” she spoke, her voice cracking. “i lied to you. i lied to every one of you.” she stepped closer to him, “i came here... alone.”

“what?” he questioned, “why—why would you lie, y/n?”

her fists clenched from his question. was neville really that oblivious? could she have not made it anymore obvious to him all these years?

“because... the person i wanted to go with, was already going with someone else.”

neville’s eyes softened, and he smiled. “y/n... you still could’ve found someone. i mean, look at me. somehow i managed to get a date and—“

“just fuck off, longbottom. okay? just leave me the fuck alone!”

his jaw dropped, and he started to reconsider ever word he had just spoken. what did he say that made her so angry?

y/n began to turn around and walk away, but neville grabbed her arm before she could move any further. “y/n, just talk to me. i just wanna know what’s going on, and why you lied about having a date. i won’t judge you or—“

“merlin’s beard, neville! you can be such an oblivious git sometimes!” she spat at him, yanking her arm away from his hold.

his chest tightened from her words. is that really how she felt about him? after all these years... she saw him just like everyone else did?

“i wanted—“ she started, scared to speak, but at the same time needing to, “i wanted to go with you!”

neville’s face contorted into a shocked one from her yelling,

“i lied because you were going with ginny, and i wanted you to ask me! i honestly, truly thought that you would ask me as a matter of fact! i didn’t care about finding another date because i was convinced that you would take me!”

neville didn’t know how to respond. all he could do was focus on her trembling voice, and the way tears continuously rolled down her face.

“y/n—“

“but it doesn’t matter anymore, right? cause you’re with ginny and i’m just simply leaving! so... have a fantastic night!”

and with that, she dashed away from him. a trail of tears and whimpers leaving with her. neville stood there, shocked, confused, worried.

of course he had wanted to ask her. he just didn’t know how.

[qslovebot]

Nobody: Spencer Reid

Summary: After an accident on a case, the reader is left with trauma and anxiety. A miscommunication between her and the person she needs most (Spencer Reid) begins to eat her alive and he just so happens to be the only one there when she breaks again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings/Includes: mentions of kissing, mentions of traumatizing events (not specified), depictions of anxiety, fluff, miscommunication, angst to fluff

A/N: The song is Nobody by Mitski. Read with this for the ultimate experience.

Sometimes things felt too literal. Words start to sound weird and feel weird when you say them, clothes feel too much like clothes against your skin, the texture of any food in your mouth becomes too prevalent while eating.

These things started happening after you witnessed and endured something awful on a case. You wouldn't dare bring up the full memory in case it took over and killed you all over again. It wasn't PTSD, but it was the cause of your anxiety attacks most of the time when they occurred.

After that case, you spent a week in the hospital where they happened nearly every day and the doctors weren't much help, to be frank. The only people who really ever helped were your friends and the person you were so close to dating, Spencer Reid.

It was a long story. To dumb it down, the case event happened and you and Spencer thought you were about to die so he confessed his feelings for you and of course they were reciprocated. He asked, then and there through stuttering words, 'If we make it out of here please go out with me?" As his last bit of hope, and he kissed you before you were taken away by the unsub. He didn't endure nearly as much as you did which was why he wasn't as affected. But you had said 'yes' to that question and three weeks later, you still hadn't talked about it.

When the anxiety attacks happened, you often felt like you couldn't breathe, like the walls were pressing in on you. Sometimes you'd be with JJ when it happened. She would immediately ask you what you needed and often that would just be a hug.

Emily witnessed one at your house when she came over to check on you. She rushed over, caring voice and soft hands and told you to put your head between your knees, stroking your hair until you felt better.

Penelope made the 30-minute drive from her house every Friday night she wasn't working on a case to bring you dinner she had made and chat with you about anything you wanted.

Your friends cared for you, it was so prevalent. It was almost always that fact that was getting you through this as you continued to get better. You would return to work in two weeks because now the anxiety attacks were only once in a while and better controlled by you and Spencer still hadn't spoken to you since.

It was now nearly two weeks later. You would go back to work on Monday.

"He did come to visit you in the hospital before you woke up," Penelope said, stirring her cup of ramen. It was just another Friday and she sat across from you in your chair, cross-legged. "I don't know what's up with him if he isn't speaking to you, he seems fine at work."

You sighed, swallowing your bite. "I'm just scared that he regrets what he said and did before I was dragged away. It was those words and that kiss that got me through what the unsub did and I keep thinking about it and him..."

"It was romantic," she noted, waving her chopstick in the air. "I think you should call him, rather than just text him. It'll catch him off-guard and in-the-moment."

"Now?"

"Yes, so I can listen!"

You smiled a little, pulling out your phone as your heart began to race. What if he did pick up? What if it was awkward? What if he somehow didn't remember?

You pressed on his name, then pressed call. It began to hum quietly with pending rings. One ring, two, then five, then seven, then there was a small beep.

'You've reached Dr. Spencer Reid, uh, leave a message,' his voice said through the machine, still as sweet and youthfully scratchy. You bit your lip and nodded.

"I should have known that he didn't want to talk. Penelope, I can't stop thinking about him and he keeps ignoring my calls and I'm... frankly I'm afraid that nothing will ever happen and he'll ignore me forever."

Penelope cringed, "(Y/N), uh... there's... it's gone to voicemail and you're recording."

"Shit!" You panicked, looking at your phone. "How do I stop it?!"

"The red button!"

"That's the end call button I-" you pressed it by accident. Oh my god, the message went through. You just sat there with Penelope, both of you frozen in shock. That did not just happen... did it really just happen? Your one moment of self-pity and worry was one moment that Spencer would hear if he touched his phone on a Friday night.

The rest of the night was spent with you fighting off panic, pacing your room. Penelope agreed to stay overnight, but you could not handle the fact Spencer would hear what you said. It was humiliating to think about him hearing you stress over something like that.

This is what nagged at you all weekend, threatening the impending anxiety that was building up. Every second was agony, spent pacing and overthinking. Sleep was hard to get, so you took melatonin and your dreams taunted you with it all over again.

Monday morning you rushed to get dressed. You needed to see Spencer, no matter how hard it was to face him. You pulled on dress pants and a navy blue cotton v-neck shirt with bell sleeves. Laundry was forgotten through two days of panic, so this was pretty much the only shirt you had.

You brushed through your hair and applied your regular makeup and there, you were presentable and didn't look like you'd lost your mind over the weekend. You were going back, finally. It was somewhat refreshing if you dismissed the Spencer ordeal.

The drive there was fine. Music helped to calm you down and you listened as long as you could. Stepping into the BAU was different, it felt like you were being crushed the moment you stepped in.

"There's my girl!" Derek Morgan was the first to notice you walk in and he greeted you with open arms and a crushing hug. You smiled, letting him. It had been a while since you last saw him. He let you go after a few seconds, but his hands stayed on your shoulders. "We missed you here, things weren't as fun without you."

"I bet," you grinned, heading to your desk. You could hide your freakout well. "I missed the smell of coffee and paper in the morning."

"(Y/N), glad to have you back," Hotch said, walking down the steps. He did seem honestly glad to see you as there was a small twitch of his mouth when he approached you and Derek. "You're sure you're alright to work again? I assume today is a file day, but we'll be back out there soon."

You nodded, smiling back. "Getting there, but it's controllable now," He narrowed his eyebrows. "I'll be fine for the field and if I'm not, I can always stay at the precinct to work things out there."

Hotch looked to Derek, then back at you. "Sounds good. Again, glad to have you back, agent." Hotch shook your hand and passed you, heading into JJ's office.

"Morgan..." You started, fiddling with your fingers. "Have you seen Spencer?"

"Yeah, he just went to the washroom, why?"

"I need to talk to him..."

The day went on and of course, you saw Spencer, but he paid you no mind. Not even a 'welcome back' or anything. You were just there and it was like you never left, except Spencer didn't even look at you. He was busy with his work and you constantly found yourself watching him. Maybe he'd heard your voice mail, maybe not, but either way, he didn't seem to care anymore.

That month and a half you spent recovering- was it possible that he used that time away from you to get over you? The idea was haunting and tugged at your heart. To be the only one all-in was such an incredibly painful idea. What he said before you were dragged away into the depths of hell meant something to you and it kept you alive... and to think he probably didn't mean it...

You needed to stop thinking about it before it made you burst into a million pieces. To be surrounded by everyone who you loved and loved you back wasn't enough if you couldn't have Spencer, too. Selfish, it sounded so selfish, but it shook you to the core that he wasn't amongst them.

The day continued and more pain was endured. More overthinking, more fear, more insecurity. The day was nearing its end.

Everybody seemed like nobody when Spencer was out of the picture. You had spent so much time thinking about him in the hospital and at home in recovery, who were you without wondering you could make it work? Nobody. Without the fantasy you could be his, you stranded on some sort of island. You were nobody if not Spencer's.

So you were nobody.

It was that thought that keeled you over the edge in the parking lot of the BAU. So much fear, so much pent-up emotion, it was too much to contain and just... spilled over onto everything as your hands began to shake, followed by that godawful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your knees gave out and you fell conveniently onto the curb next to your car.

There was nobody there, either. You were alone on the concrete curb, face in your shaking hand and the other shaking hand gripping the curb so hard your knuckles turned white. Too much, too little, everything was wrong and you couldn't face Spencer.

You looked up for a brief moment and there was a brief look at someone in a beige cardigan and khaki pants and your heart fell to the pit of your stomach- as if you were humiliated enough. Footsteps, closer.

"A-are you okay?" His voice was a little panicked, definitely not as bad as yours, though. Overall, you were just glad he was within six feet of you.

Of course, you were pretty much unable to reply. Your face stayed in your hands and you felt light fingers on your shoulder, his, and they were somewhat grounding. God, he was here and you couldn't even talk to him, you couldn't even raise your head.

"What do you need, I- what happened?" He cared. But to what extent? His hands felt frantic- they shook a little (again, not nearly as bad as yours) and they moved from your shoulder, to upper arm, to near your neck, to the side of your head. "If this is my fault, I-"

He stopped himself. How could he possibly know that it was the thought of him that sent this into motion? The voicemail didn't entail much other than he was on your mind. You hardly even noticed that you were crying from the anxiety attack until you felt how wet your hands were. Your words kept piling on your tongue and the panic rose again in an entirely new wave.

"Do you- do you need help? I can get Hotch or... Derek, Derek knows, I know, but I don't- I don't think you like me very much and I won't be of help-I-I-I-" His voice continued to ramble and you were flooded with new thoughts. How could he possibly think that you didn't like him? In those moments before you were taken, you had said yes to going out with him if you both made it out. You kissed him back then before the arms grabbed you and dragged you off. Where did the idea of you not liking him come from? It was you who was afraid he didn't like you back.

You wanted to speak, you wanted to say something but you were stuck in your own mind, desperately trying to fight this off, trying hard to calm your breathing. The most you could do was take your hand off of the curb and frantically grab his. You took his hand and you held it tight, trying to slow the sharp intakes of breath. That's when Spencer squeezed your hand and you began to feel better.

And when you did start to feel better and your breathing was still harsh, but better and you could finally move a little more, you did what you had wanted to do every day in the hospital. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around Spencer, your arms resting around his shoulders. You needed it and apparently so did he, because he squeezed you back the same. Either it was that or he knew pressure helped. All you could do was hope it wasn't the latter.

Spencer of course buried his face in the crook of your neck like he had before and you knew now that this feeling was coming to an end. The tide was washing out and there was calm after the storm. No words, just your breathing becoming more natural and the wind over your ears. This was all that you needed.

He stayed like this with you for a good five more minutes before you could finally release him, pulling apart and your hand coming up to wipe under your eyes. He didn't speak then, either- he just watched, his face furrowed in concern.

So you spoke, "Spencer wh-" your voice cut out from still being in that state of anxiety. You coughed into your arm, tried again. "Why would you think I don't like you?"

"I-I- don't think that's the question, I- are you okay?" His hands went back to your shoulders bracingly.

You smiled a small smile, "I'm better, it's passed, but Spencer...' You slid into a whisper with the crying coming back. Had it really passed?

"Yes?" His reply was wary. As if afraid to break you, he tiptoed.

"Answer me, please."

He bit his lower lip into his mouth, sighing. "I don't know if I should, you're- you're upset."

You looked at him, dead-on, determined. "Please."

"You didn't call. Not once and I-I-I was worried and then I started to think about it and everything t-that happened before you were taken and that you probably only said and did that because you were about to-to-uh, die." He rambled, words spilling out. "So I thought maybe you didn't really like me and-"

"I was waiting for you to call, too," you actually let out a laugh. He smiled in realization. "Because I was afraid of the exact same thing. I was afraid you didn't mean it and I worked myself up- I called Friday night, though-"

"I didn't- I didn't know that-" he fumbled to bring his phone out of his pocket and he must have seen that he had a voicemail from you and nodded, a little smile appearing on his worried face. "So you did mean to say yes?"

"And you did mean to ask?" You inquired, head tilted.

"Y-yes, of course."

"Then yes," you replied, smile widening to a grin. "How is Saturday night? I think I'll be better by then."

He was positively beaming as he helped you back to your feet. "Saturday is... great. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Much better.... truthfully." You nodded excessively and Spencer began walking back to his car, but then came back quickly to kiss your cheek.

He was like a child excited to go run and tell friends, "Goodnight!"

"Night, Spence." You stood there, basking in the glory that was solved miscommunication. You weren't nobody, you were in fact, somebody. And you were soon to be Spencer's.

Tags: @ellyhotchner, @softhairedhotch, @laurakirsten0502

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