#it got so emotional in some parts how fucking dare this game make me feel GUTTED over a fictional moth

[raindropbouquet]

small ramble about a game ive been playing/beat recently ,, oh my GOD i love bug fables SOOOOOOOOOO much dude. like the characters are developed SO fucking well, even side characters you see like. one time ever. have like full fledged backgrounds, they all very clearly have their own personalities built into them too. it feels so much less like an NPC and more like, just a genuine person with their own life outside of your mission. the way the game progresses too, everything just ties together so well. i have been absolutely ENTHRALLED into the story since i bought the game (after a friend rec'd it to me i Had to indulge). and. ohhh my GOD it did NOT disappoint. the foreshadowing is A tier and just. GODDDDDDD everything about this game is SOOOO GOOOOOOD RAAHHHHHHHHHHHH i love the soundtrack as well, everything fits and has so much care put into it and it's the type of ost that doesn't get annoying; the kind i'd go out of my way to listen to. the backgrounds are so fun, i love the gamecube esque to it and it's so well optimized that my shitass laptop can run it full graphics. AND THE PAPER MARIO STYLE!! it was so worth putting my time into my GODDDDDD RAAAAAAAAAAUGH the protagonists all develop in their own beautiful ways, i swear i cried to like most lore drops LMFAO. and theres a ton of tiny ways to get more story snipbits as well, from little books to kabbu just speaking in the different areas you go to. watching the story unfold is just ,, this game has got to be one of my all time favorites by now. i love the fighting mechanics i love the logbook i love how every detail is worth looking into i just love this game so fucking much it is. so. GOOD.

i would gladly rant more but it appears ive already text walled LMFAO but. anywho. go play bug fables you will not regret.

[suffersinfandom]

I feel for the Izzy fans, I really do. It sucks to have your favorite character killed off, especially when you feel like their death serves no narrative purpose. It genuinely hurts to lose a character that you identify closely with, and it's okay to be sad and grieve. The character might not be real, but the grief is. Let people mourn. Don't be rude to the ones who are just being sad in their little corners of the internet, yeah?

That said.

Some of the stuff I've seen in the OFMD fandom today? Worst shit I've seen in a fandom that I love and care about, and grief is no excuse. I know I'm a no one in this fandom and I'm mostly typing into a void, but I've got to get some things out:

The show doesn't deserve to be canceled. None of the creators, producers, or writers deserve to be canceled. Nothing queerphobic, homophobic, or ableist happened.

Izzy's death was not an insult or a cruelty or a targeted attack.

David Jenkins and the rest of the writers did not gaslight and abuse anyone (yeah, those are take I've seen).

It wasn't "objectively" a cheap or meaningless or badly-written death. You can hate it and that's okay, but that's still subjective!

Izzy was not the main character or the "heart" of the show. The heart of the show -- the show itself -- is Ed and Stede's relationship. We have been told as much.

"Ed hasn't faced any consequences for his actions." He has though? He didn't gaslight girlboss his way back into everyone's hearts. Izzy is not Ed's hapless and helpless victim. He was almost beaten to death and ran around in a penitence onesie with a catbell on; I think those were consequences.

"How do you feel when gay characters are randomly killed off to help a straight couple progress their narrative? Not good, huh? That's how disabled fans feel." It's okay to feel that way, but don't make any sweeping assumptions about disabled fans. I'm disabled and I'm gonna say that's not what happened here.

"How dare you kill off this character who's abused, flawed, suicidal, disabled, and queer!" Ed is still right over there, yeah? Check, check, check, check, and check. (Little note: I've seen a lot of "he's not disabled!" Even if you don't buy the kneebrace ((Ed Teach with bad joints is so important to me, shhh)), what about invisible disabilities? What about mental health issues? I'm not here to diagnose a fictional character, but it's clear to me that Ed has mental health problems that dramatically impact his life.)

"It's sick that Izzy died in the arms of his abuser apologizing to him." I don't even know where to start with this one, but I get the feeling that some parts of the fandom only consider physical abuse valid. Mental, verbal, and emotional abuse are pretty fucking damaging and I think it's sick that some folks think they aren't actually abuse.

People who enjoyed the last episode of season two aren't media illiterate. People who love Gentlebeard aren't abusive narcissists.

I just.

I really, truly feel for Izzy fans for I too have lost a blorbo. I'm giving a huge hug to the Izzy enjoyers who aren't out there making threats and calling everyone abusers and being outright hostile to anyone who had the nerve to enjoy this season. Like, I genuinely hope you guys are doing okay, and if you need an ear, I'm game.

[qveenpoppy]

okay let's go episode 2:

wolf somehow doesn't know what pokemon or game of thrones is (i know his pop culture knowledge is near nonexistent, but even i've at least heard of both franchises, despite never engaging in them)

there's little references to the hospital being understaffed (like dr. landon apparently performed a surgery herself) and underfunded, but i feel like the show's been mostly glossing over it (unless it's just something that's easy to miss, given that it's yet to play a major role in an episode plot)

wolf lowkey has a bratty side, given how he talks to his mom this episode

wolf ignoring nichols got me giggling and kicking my feet

wolf also can't do sports analogies to save his life. now is that bc he's gay or a nerd? /j

wolf's lil striped sweater is so cute. if i could make a gifset dedicated to that look, i would.

"oliver, try not to get too attached. we both know it hasn't served you well in the past." hmm (i know they tie this line to him empathizing with a frog in hs, but i feel like it might also refer to a patient he treated in the past)

the way they depict jessie's feelings of disembodiment are incredibly well done. the one shot in particular of her simultaneously falling and rising is really cool. (this show in general makes some cool, unique directing choices. i know i talk about emmys deserved for the acting, but this show deserves some love for its directing too.)

wolf also doesn't understand dana's sixth sense reference

"dr. wolf is the chief's son?" i love you, token himbo van (he is so golden retriever-coded)

"you keep blowing past me... on three separate occasions." "why are you counting?" lmaooooooo get him, wolf

(something something nichols fell first but wolf fell harder)

never realized how prominent the height difference is between them when they're standing in front of jessie's brain scans (i can't believe nichols makes 6'1 wolf look tiny)

it's implied that wolf didn't really need nichols to look at the scans with him. he said he wanted a second opinion, but also admitted he was scared for jessie. could he have wanted nichols there for... emotional support?

someone made a post the other day about what ericka's neuro/psycho issue might be. idk if it counts, but i wanna say she might suffer from some sort of issues with perfectionism? or maybe people-pleasing? given how she said she spent all her time in college studying and working rather than partying and socializing (but that's also pretty typical for those of us more studious folks, i say as someone who went to community college and therefore did nearly nothing in terms of social things on campus...)

actually maybe i was wrong about the underfunding thing being irrelevant, since it comes up for jessie, who may have had to be sent to a long-term care facility so, as wolf says, the hospital can "free up a bed" (and i know a similar thing was said about roman once, i forget in what episode - 4, maybe 5? before he showed any real signs of awareness)

the "freakishly large hands" exchange is so incredibly flirty, i can't take it. i dare say the wolfnichols dynamic did a complete 180 from the pilot to episode 2. like the pilot gives enemies to lovers, but episode 2 (and beyond) just gives... lovers. (or like flirty coworkers who both slowly (given how much time it takes for them to act) and quickly (in terms of episode count) develop a bond and fall hard for each other.)

underrated parts of the scene: wolf's little smirk when he jokingly addresses nichols without looking at him, and nichols wringing his hands when asking what his defining feature is (like he's a nervous little boy talking to his crush)

did i rewind and rewatch that scene 3 times in a row? yes, yes i did

the end scene with muriel & carol really makes it seem like wolf did some fucked up things in his past, which, as i discussed with someone the other day, i once thought meant he was responsible for his dad's death, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. at least, he's not directly responsible, though he probably still harbors some guilt about the whole situation. still, wonder when the implications of that scene come back into play. (could that be one of the "surprises" showrunner grassi referred to when he talked about what was in store for wolf & nichols?)

[bunnakit]

last twilight ep 5 thoughts feelings etc.

eyy actually watched this earlier and rewatching it, so things should be a little less feral and unhinged. actually took notes my first watch through as well (wtf am i doing)

once again i love how stories are our constant companions in this show. i love how they keep playing with the parallels between worlds, it's one of my absolute favorite things in storytelling.

i love the fact that day is now 'invisible' in the world of badminton but he can still experience all of the joy of the game by supporting his friends. badminton was such a big part of his life and he doesn't have to leave it all behind, he just experiences it a little differently now.

film is so fucking pretty even covered in 'sweat.' i do love the show let her be 'sweaty' and disheveled instead of having perfect hair and make up after what was clearly a hard game. GIVE ME SWEATY WOMEN. (god im so gay)

so i said it last week but the only time we've ever seen mhok be violent is when he's been protecting the people close to him. (his garage bro, porjai x 2, etc) and we see him ready to do it again when august confronts day. there is no doubt in my mind that mhok was fully prepared to bury that bitch for even daring to make day the slightest bit afraid.

and god how scary does that have to be? you can't see, you're already nervous to be here, and suddenly someone is shouting at you - and maybe you don't recognize them at first because you haven't heard their voice in over a year but all you know is they're coming closer and they're so angry. i can't imagine anything scarier than that.

ahh, a broken picture frame representing a broken bond, an absolute classic metaphor. an oldie but a goodie.

once again i love that we see day's rage. anger really is such a big part of coming to terms with being disabled. i got some bad news a few weeks ago about my own disease and i've spent the last few weeks so angry and frustrated and then just sad. it's such a complex journey and the show is doing an absolutely brilliant job of showing that.

i do owe day's family a small smidgen of an apology since day is the one that asked it to be kept a secret, HOWEVER, i do think that conversation should have been revisited after a fucking year. how long were they just going to let him live in isolation? like cool for respecting his agency, not cool for letting him waste away in a tomb of his own making.

FINALLY WE GET MHOK OPENING UP.

so here's the thing with mhok. i love him. no - the real thing is i see so much of myself in him. my friends and family constantly get frustrated with me because i will never tell them when something is wrong or when i'm shouldering a lot of emotions about something. when i got the bad news about my disease i hid in my office and cried at my desk and then cleaned myself up and pretended nothing happened. fuck, i feel like i understand mhok on such a deep level.

not to get too into it but my own habits stem from neglect in my formative years, and i have to wonder if mhok's behavior maybe stems from his isolation in prison? oftentimes people with these behavior patterns will self isolate, either deal with or bury their emotions, and then emerge back into their friend group as if nothing happened. (am i talking about myself again? shhh.) mhok didn't really have a choice - sure you can write letters, have visitors, but a large part of his day was probably handling his grief in solitude. he's probably gotten so good at "handling it" and pushing everything down and dealing with everything in silence that he doesn't know how to handle it any other way now.

to make things worse, it happened over a year ago. he probably feels like he should be "over it" and not make it a big deal. maybe i'm projecting just a smidge (just a lot) but i do think it's something interesting to keep in mind. either way, him finally talking about rung to day is fucking MASSIVE, both for their relationship and mhok's emotional wellbeing.

august is fucking king of mixed signals and i don't super like that he looked for mhok's permission to lead day through the court. why the fuck are you looking at mhok when you could just ask day? if you look closely, as mhok is letting go day curls his fingers around the hand that mhok uses to remove his hand from his arm.

i do love we see mhok pushing day a little more out of his comfort zone as he did in earlier episodes.

porjai is so fucking pretty. is there anything more attractive than a woman in shorts and an oversized band tee? no. no there is not.

and again we see how much time and effort mhok has put into being day's caretaker - and his friend. he did research and learned methods that would make dining out easier for day. i love him so much! i don't know how day could still be thinking about august after that adorable little date.

UGH OKAY SO. HERE'S WHERE WE GET INTO MY BIG FEELINGS.

in my opinion, the theme of this episode has been "being late." here's why.

the boys were very nearly, or were, late to gee's badminton game

you could consider mhok 'late' to tell day about rung

day thinks he's too late to confess to august

mhok realizes he's come into day's life too late to receive his affection

and then we have august's literal late arrival (i still dont know what fucking game this jackass is playing)

this also ties in to a little trend i've been noticing in regards to mhok that oftentimes he's too late in life.

he was too late to save rung, and learned of her death late

he was too late to receive the mechanic job as it had 'already been given to someone else'

he was a late arrival to the interview to become day's caretaker

and again, he's entered day's life too late to receive his affection (or so he thinks)

i genuinely don't know if this is intentional, but i think it's something interesting to draw connections to.

anyway, again, i dont know what the fuck august's deal is but i can tell you if i was day i'd be getting over my feelings for him real fucking quick. i don't super like that august shows up, hears about day's feelings, and asks mhok to keep his being there a secret - but i do understand it and i do understand mhok's side of things. i don't think he does it out of his own selfishness, i think rather he realizes august likely doesn't return day's affection and letting him think august didn't show up is possibly the kinder of the two scenarios. (my only hope is we don't see august return and try to woo day or something later with this knowledge)

i do love that mhok stayed. he was concerned and it might seem a little overbearing but day was clearly nervous for this outing and all in all it's good that he stayed. and then he made sure to salvage the evening for day and take him out on a proper date. maybe it's not the date day wanted but it looks like he had a great time (perhaps even a better time) spending a day with someone he could relax and be himself around.

flowers have so many different meanings across cultures and tbh i'm far to tired to dig into the thai meaning of hydrangeas (if there are any) but i do think hydrangeas are neat. this is prob common knowledge but the color of hydrangea petals is determined by the ph balance in the soil they're grown in. (blue hydrangeas grow in soil with a ph balance of 5.2-5.5, far more in the base range than red hydrangeas that grow in a ph balance of 6.0-6.2, and once the soil reaches acidic levels it tends to produce pink flowers) i guess maybe if you wanted you could draw a connection to how malleable mhok is becoming and how his environment is changing him.

scientifically, sunflowers are also an interesting flower because they are often used to heal damaged and irradiated soil. they're so fucking resilient and help heal the world around them. i think there's a lot of connections we can make there with both mhok and day, regardless of flower symbolism and going purely on science.

anyway sorry to be a science nerd.

that's all ive really got for this episode, i say, as if i have not written you all a novel. this show continues to make me feel so much and tickle my brain in such a delightful way. between this and moonlight chicken p'aof has definitely made me a fan for life.

tag loves: @benkaaoi | @callipigio | @lookwhatihave (once again pls always feel free to lmk if you want to be added or removed)

[beevean]

Imagine watching the show as it came out

Imagine ending S3 hating the fuck out of Lenore but spending time talking and theorizing about her implied nuances in spite of the writing flaws and how she could be improved as a villain

....and then S4 comes out

I have a feeling you should consider yourself and your sanity lucky

ngl, I would have so fallen for the copium that S4 was going to have Hector breaking himself free and taking revenge on all the people who hurt him 😔 perhaps even that Isaac would slowly become his beautiful cunty game self 😔

I keep thinking of this post:

This is a wonderfully written post. They make many good points, like how Lenore always finds a way to relieve herself of responsibility when she abuses Hector ("you hurt me and that's why I beat you", "Striga wants you to wear the leash, not me", "the others are planning to use mercenaries"), which is scarily realistic. Or the part where she asks Hector if she can visit him again, as if he had any choice in the matter. I commend this person for picking up so many details, some of which I had missed or forgotten myself. I don't agree with everything, as I believe they overestimated Hector's characterization and ignored how blatant Lenore's lie of "I want to run away with you" is, but I can feel how passionate they are and invested in this potentially novel narrative about how subtle abuse can be.

And I keep thinking about all of this got squandered in S4. How this disturbing depiction of abuse got flattened into dick jokes and "you're the only one who listens to me 🥺" and Lenore blithely dismissing the one time Hector dared to be annoyed at her "solving his problem" which got treated with the same levity as Greta making a cheating joke out of Alucard's own rape.

"Also, she's a female predator, which are rarely presented without sympathy in fiction. Which, I think, is part of why it's hard for the fanbase to realize how evil she is. If the genders were reversed, some people would probably still find the whole rape by deception and magical enslavement romantic because, well, people, but they'd probably sympathize more with the victim than the predator because they'd be easier to identify through our cultural shorthand."

I wonder how they reacted when S4 comes out and the show does exactly what they have criticized, sanitizing Lenore because she is a cute woman and suddenly showing her fake, superficial kindness as genuine and a valid reason Hector would love her, not with the love of an abused dog but real genuine affection.

And he definitely had real feelings for Lenore, however falsely they were invoked. It's possible they still exist after his enslavement. I'm hoping not, but it would be an interesting conflict to see play out. Loving and hating someone who's been alternately kind and cruel to you is a tough spot to be in.

This is what really depresses me about the Lenector story. It is not impossible that Hector would still have feelings for Lenore, because he has such low standards that things like "actually keeping her promise of giving him free roam of the castle" and "going to him to vent about her issues" would be taken as signs of love, and confuse his abused brain. Hector crawling back to Lenore as his only reason to live? It makes sense! It's awful, but it makes sense for someone like him! He has nothing left, he thought he'd be killed but he was given another chance at life, and his first instinct is to cling to his only certainty in his miniscule world.

It should not have been the emotional climax of his arc! Not in a season that is so deadset of giving everyone happiness that they fucking brought Dracula back and allowed him to go on a honeymoon with his bae!

The resolution of this story about abuse is that Hector needed to grow up and let his abuser find freedom in death! A freedom that is specifically framed as Lenore freeing herself of... herself, basically, of everything she has done and might do, not out of guilt but out of despair that she lost all the power she had and might go insane eventually. Not him finding another place to live now that he is free, not him realizing he is worth more as a human being, bro barely even cares about his new life as Isaac's consort or whatever the fuck he is for him now. No, it is never about Hector. He wanted Lenore, Lenore didn't want to stick with him because she's depressed, and we are meant to find oh so tragic that the two star crossed lovers will not have a meaningful touching relationship after

SHE RAPED HIM INTO SLAVERY BY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIS FEELINGS AND MOCKED HIM IN FRONT OF HER SISTERS AND THEN REJECTED HIS PROTESTS ON THE GROUNDS THAT HE ENJOYED THE SEX SO HE HAS NO REASON TO COMPLAIN

THE LATTER HAPPENS IN SEASON 4 WHEN WE ARE MEANT TO ROOT FOR THEM. WHEN THE STORY REALLY WANTS TO CONVINCE US THAT LENORE REALLY IS A GOOD PERSON DEEP DOWN AND NEVER WANTED TO HARM HECTOR AND ONLY CARED ABOUT HIM

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE FUCKING CARING TO YOU YOU STUPID HACKS

All that carefully woven abuse for what? For fucking what? For the puppy fetish?? To tell the audience that you should forgive people who hurt you if they give you the bare minimum of human decency because it is the MATURE thing to do, you stupid manchild who only wants to be loved and will never have that because you are too stupid to be loved?!

god I am mad! I'm sorry this makes me mad! I don't even imagine how furious I would be if I had to wait one year to see this shit!

[despairots]

fight or flight , dylan lenivy.

you don’t actually believe you too are just friends who relate to eachother, right? wrong, you’re just friends, nothing more.

cw: angst, reader doesn’t know who he is, reader is a male, reader is self-awared, reader is [sexuality], reader bottles up their emotion, reader is a good actor, unrequited love (or is it?)

pairing: dylan lenivy x male!reader.

song to listen to … fight or flight by conan gray.

man, you hated this part; where everything you worked for was for nothing. you’re genuinely selfish for thinking you could have him as a friend, let alone a lover.

how could you ever think you could have a chance with him? you two were better off as bestfriends. i mean, it was so easily shown that dylan was into ryan, the glances to him and the constant flirting.

“this is activating my fight or flight.” you muttered to kaitlyn as your heart tugged, watching dylan willing kiss ryan, kaitlyn watched as you fiddled with your ring.

‘don’t cry, don’t cry.’ you sucked it up as you felt an empty feeling in your stomach as everyone oohed and clapped. you faked a smile as dylan sat back down, feeling all giddy.

“ew, affection.” you gagged as dylan jokingly rolled his eyes before nudging you, you felt yourself grow all giggle from the small touch; like igniting a fire.

“okay, [name] - truth or dare.” ryan asked you as you sat there wide eyed, “okaaaay, anything you ask me better not be some freaky, weird shit. truth.” you scoffed, “boo, you pussy.” “hardy har har.” you rolled your eyes at kaitlyn.

“do you have a crush on anybody?” he asked as everyone oohed at such a basic truth question, “mmm, absolutely not, nice try though.” you took a sip from your drink.

“i call bullshit!”

jacob called out as you glared at him, “ooh, you kiss your mom with that mouth?” you crossed your legs as kaitlyn chuckled. “oh come on, you HAVE to have a crush.” kaitlyn insisted.

“i used, used, to have a crush on someone.” ‘and it’s someone here.’ you lied as you empathized the used, “gasp, you’ve never told me this?” dylan dramatically gasped with a hand on his heart. you scoffed with smile.

“is it a boy?”

“very basic emma, next!” you joked before jacob said something, “i bet it’s dylan.” dylan snapped hsi head towards you as you furrowed your eyebrows, “wrong. he’s just my bestfriend, and plus why would i snatch ryan’s man? wow jacob.”

you faked as the more you lied, the more closed you are to breaking down and you do not want dylan to you like that.

dylan lightly got hurt from just-a-friend mention, “okaay, sure, whatever you say, [name].” jacob didn’t believe as you grew irritated.

the game went longer before you felt sick to your stomach, “i’ll be back.” you placed your drink down before leaving, “hey- [name] it’s dangerous out there, you know that, right?” nick shouted for but you waved it off.

before you knew it, you were down at the dock trying to hold back the tears that threatened to come out, “fuck. stop crying, stop crying, stop crying.” why’d you have to fall in love?

love… such beautiful word yet a word that can bring somethings to destruction.

you heard heavy breathing and footsteps behind making you wipe your eyes quickly and taking a big deep breath before you saw a familiar figure sit down beside.

“hi, jacob.”

“hi.” you noticed the way his mouth quivered and his eyes watering, “are you okay? what happened?” you asked as you placed a comforting a hand on his shoulder.

“when i thought emma still had feelings for me, she went a full on french kissed nick, abigail ran off and so did i.” jacob explained as you pitied him.

“jacob, i’m so sorry.” “no, no, it’s fine. i shouldn’t have chased her.” he shaked off.

“i wish i could accept something like that easily.” jacob furrowed his eyebrows, “easily?” “yeah.” you sniffled as jacob noticed the way you bite your lips and eyes fluttering with water.

“[name]? you’re crying…”

“yeah- yeah, i know.” you didn’t bother jacob seeing you about to breakdown, you wanted someone, just someone, to know who you really are but that’s the thing, you don’t know who you are.

“what’s wrong?” you sadly smiled, “can’t tell you that.” you whispered as you continued to sniffle, “come here.” he opened his arms as you scooted closer to jacob, accepting his hug.

and as soon he wrapped his arms around you, you broke down.

[isleofdarkness]

That snippet was AMAZING, I love it when you make long posts. Don't know why I didn't write this earlier.

“what she remembers is being trapped in a tiny closet without any light, having lost the instinct to cry because it did nothing. [...] Some of the most comforting memories she has are Mari's voice speaking to her through the door, a child trying to comfort a baby. Andi doesn't remember most of the words, but she remembers the feeling of calm and safety that would wash over her the second she heard that voice.” How dare you start this with such a wonderful paragraph? The fact she thinks of it as "some of the most comforting memories she has" is the saddest fucking thing if you think about it because SHE WAS A BABY. SHE WAS LOCKED IN A CLOSET. She can't even remember Mari's words, probably because she wasn't old enough to register and understand them. Yet is the closest thing she has had to comfort in. Her. Entire. Life. Excuse me, I'm gonna go cry in a corner.

“After a while, Andi was content to stay there. As long as she and Marionette were safe and they had each other.” Crying. Sobbing. She just wanted to be with her sister. She didn't care about anything else. The biggest fuck you to Maleficent.

I love how she chose her name to match Mari's.

That horror story was awesome, dude. You, once again, proving you're an excellent writer.

Mari is the best, she reads about Lovecraftian "horrible in ways far beyond the mortal comprehension, whose little human minds would go into the most horrific madness if they were to witness even the tiniest amount of it" horror and says "I wish that happened to my dad, lol".

How do you come up with such cool powers AND such cool ways to use those powers.

“She froze, or at least she thinks she did. She doesn't know that Marionette was using her telepathy to force her to stay hidden until she was out of range, meaning Maleficent would be super far away. All Andromeda knows is that she froze and watched her sister get beaten and kidnapped by Maleficent and, instead of helping, she just froze so severely that she was still frozen for ten minutes like a fucking idiot instead of helping the sister who had sacrificed so much for her.” I was reading this last night in my living room beside my dad and I had to go to the bathroom to keep going 'cause I was about to cry, Andromeda's desperation, impotence and guilt are conveyed so fucking well.

“She tried to find Marionette, but she didn't understand as much about the Isle.” Is so sad to think how Andi didn't comprehend anything that was happening around her, is horrible the isolation this girl had to go through. There were so many things she didn't understand, so many things she didn't know. She was just a confused little girl trying to stay alive.

Also, the Andi and Ace scene is soooo. I already cried to this and re-reading it and writing this is making me emotional again. Fuck.

I'm just going to quote the parts that especially tore my heart apart because nothing I could say could make them justice.

“The words she used, the blame she put on it for its own suffering, were so horrific they made her want to rip her own tongue out, but she didn't stop. She just couldn't stop. She needed it to kill her.”

“Ace knew the game she was clearly playing. Knew it- hell, it invented the game.”

“It reminded Ace of Rose's desperation every time she shrieked the most horrible things at their mother to try and redirect her anger from it to Rose. The way her voice got higher and high and she repeated things, trying to make her words even nastier when she had run out of things to say.”

“The horror hidden so deep in her eyes that only the tiniest spark could be seen, a spark Ace had learned was the tip of the iceberg of how much she hated herself for the words coming out of her mouth.”

Rose adopts the dogs that bite and I love her for that. You can really tell she likes wasps (and identifies with them).

I love the Hearts dynamic so so much. The way they make sure Andi knows what happened to her sister wasn't her fault and that Mari doesn't hate her for not being able to do anything. Andi deserves all the support and love in the world.

Once again, really, truly, the biggest fuck you to Maleficent.

Please tell me Queenie and King aren't actually dead. Man, I was already signing the adoption papers ;(

Ace's monologue was the best thing ever, Maleficent deserves to be bullied for her micro dick energy and loser behavior.

I hope you feel better soon and that your managers stop being such idiots. Amazing writing, as always.

To be honest, my day yesterday only got better the longer I was awake. However, the fact that I woke up at three am only to roll over in bed and dealt with the terror of how severe the sprain the movement caused looked meant the bar was on the ground. I'm not even that mad about the manager, I think she's dumb. She had to take issue with the pettiest bitch in McDonald's

She remembers Mari's voice from those years in the same way most small children remember their mothers. That was the only interaction she got, and it was the only love she got. The voice through the door, even though she could never see or touch the owner, was what kept her sane. The day that door unlocked and she got to hug her sister for the very first time is one of the best days of her life. The first face she ever saw in this world was Mari's, and she still remembers exactly how that felt.

She would have been perfectly content to chill in the woods, living in a cave, as long as it meant she got to live with her sister. That was all she wanted in life, to be near her sister. The bar was on the floor and fate dug under it. She expected nothing and still she was let down.

Mari will never admit it but she cried. She saw how Andi lit up and heard how excited she was when she said "I can go by Andi, and we'll match!" and that was one of the best moments of her life. Andi was so thrilled.

Thank you. That part of the snippet I barely remember writing. I think I got possessed or something/j

Every time he pissed her off she would just imagine him getting eaten by Azazoth or something and that made her feel better. Go big or go home, I guess.

It's the scientist in me. I love testing the limits- photokinesis should, in theory, be able to manipulate colour. You'll also see with that with Luna's shield.

She had nightmares about it for years. They only ended when Facilier finally perfected a sleeping potion that kind of acted as a sedative medication for people with insomnia, anxiety, PTSD, etc. She'd go days without sleeping to try and avoid the dreams.

Mari tried so, so hard to keep Andi away from the Isle. The Isle was cruel and dangerous, and Andi was just a little kid. She shouldn't have had to deal with that. But this meant that, when the two were separated, Andi had no idea what she was doing. The fact that she didn't like adults was the only thing that kept her alive- adults were out during the day, so she would sleep all day and go out at night, using her shadows to hide her. She still doesn't have much street smarts and can't really hold her own in a fight.

Yeah, I almost cried, too. The only thing that kept me from crying was the mental image. Ace is just trying to eat its soup in the garden to avoid its mother and suddenly this twelve-year-old comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at it. It was so confused before it realized what she was doing (and even then, it had many questions.) It just wanted to eat dinner and now there's a whole situation.

Rose adopts the dogs that bite because she does, too. She throws a punch before the fight starts just because she thinks it's about to go down. She really is just like a traumatized fighting dog or a wasp.

I'm glad you love that. They're such a good family... if you ignore the whole murder part.

Fuck Maleficent. All my homies hate Maleficent.

Unfortunately. They and nearly 100 other kids hidden in Salazan's Grum are gone. Ace is actually having a mental breakdown in Auradon because they couldn't even bury them. They couldn't have a funeral. They never even got the bodies out of the rubble! They never got to properly mourn their siblings and its trying to ignore the pain by taking care of others, but that's just making everything worse.

One day, Ace is going to say that to Maleficent's face. The only reason it hasn't is because it's never seen her. What's she going to do? Kill it? Yeah, its shaking in its baby seal leather boots (they are not really baby seal leather but it likes to make a point.)

I love how I wrote that in an exhausted four-hour haze after the show (I have been in theatre for ten years and that was the best show I've ever seen, I thought it was better than Newsies on Broadway) and you guys still love it. Thank you so much

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

for the thirsty asks: 34 & 48 for Renato, 17 for Kinslayer, and 30 & 41 for Isaac (--@space-writes)

@space-writes Thanks for the ask! (I'm still working on that prompt you sent in ages ago btw. It'll be done. Eventually.)

Content Advisory: Discussion of sexual situations, hallucinogen use mention, and power dynamics

(Asks from the How Thirsty is Your OC list)

What's the most adventurous thing they've tried during sex?

Similar to Rainier, Renato is more about doing whatever feels good and getting off. He's game for pretty much anything that doesn't involve any elaborate prep on his part. So, when a witch once asked him to put on a ritual mask, drink some herbal concoction, and have sex with her inside a magic circle while thirteen of her friends chanted around them, he was like, "All right, see you at midnight."

He's still not entirely sure whether the sensations he experienced were from magic or just whatever drugs were in the tea. Either way he had a great time and the witches didn't steal part of his soul or anything. At least he's pretty sure they didn't...

Do they like a certain kind of aftercare more than others?

Renato loves any sort of cuddling/physical closeness after sex, but especially bathing with someone. Partly because if the other person is blissed out and boneless, just letting him clean them up, it tells him he did a great job. But mostly because Renato is starved for intimacy and affection, and cuddly aftercare is the best he can do without, you know, going through the actual trouble of opening up and being honest with a partner.

Weirdest place they've had sex?

Does inside someone's mind count? Dream/telepathy sex is great because Kinslayer can get as weird and sadistic as they want without actually harming their squishy human partner. Well, aside from the terror experienced in the moment, but that's nothing a little aftercare can't fix. Really no worse than having a nightmare. If they have a lil nibble on the person's soul while they're at it that's fine too--oh, it grows back, don't be such a baby.

How bratty are they?

Very. Isaac's whole brand is defiance and being stubborn. He will occasionally have a cozy, friendly roll in the hay if the vibe is right, but those encounters lack the sort of physical intensity that keeps him coming back for more.

Isaac needs a few things for sexual chemistry to really happen: trust, to have his boundaries/comfort zones pushed a little, and surrender. Him digging his heels in and challenging a partner with a Make me or I dare you attitude is one way he gets all those things.

If he can push back and his partner plays along rather than getting frustrated, it gives him a sign that maybe they're safe to let go around. Pushing his boundaries can be about trust, but it also has the practical use of cracking his emotional shell. (Not necessarily the safest or smartest way of going about this, but Isaac's got his share of issues.) When he does finally give in, though, he puts 120% into rewarding somebody for their patience, and proves he can be a very good boy indeed. At least until next time.

Do they classify any particular type of sex as "love making"?

As in ascribing an emotional value to the acts being performed? Not really? The aforementioned low intensity encounters certainly made Isaac feel closer to someone, even if it wasn't in the compulsory romantic/monogamous way. But being dominated by Kinslayer to the point of breaking down in tears also fosters a genuine connection. That's as much about love and trust to him as "soft", slow sex.

If anything, what term he uses is more about the tone or tempo of the experience. Or whether he's in the presence of someone's abuelita, so can't just say "fuck".

[mapsofnonexistentplacesremade]

i loooove trainstory so much... was curious if there was like anything that inspired it or anything? i just luv the kinds of concepts ur introducing they feel so unique

SMILING this is very high praise… as blunt as i can put it trainstory is just a commixtion of Everything I Like because i quite literally started conceptualising it like “alright i’m gonna make a narrative that i can twist in any way i like and in ways that will cater to me in the highest degree” however i think i can name some things for like. individual facets

formatwise it was originally based on a dream i had like 2 years ago actually! of a very shitty video game interface that was segmented into squares with retro geometric badly-rendered textures and there was like a portrait of an unrememberable character in the corner and a huge box for text that scrolled. a few months ago i got both into like 90s/early 2000s online hypertext fiction and also ergodic literature and that kind of evened out ccs’ text heaviness and elusiveness into something solid i think… visually as an end product i also imagine it to be one of those classic mixed 2d-3d games with super gritty pixelated textures and really ugly but endearing character models and whatnot. dare i mention games like p.athologic and b.ad day on the midway as encapsulations of that vision. also a lot of visual inspiration comes from just going through the archive for the internet ray tracing competition theres good stuff in there

the first thing i figured out about trainstory settingwise was just that itd be on some eternal train ride in some way. that was mostly just because i wanted to write something set in a very closed space with a lot of room to develop a ‘community’ of characters. and also to examine isolation and how people cope differently about it… i specifically wanted to go for many characters finding solitude preferable and satisfactory because it’s an uncommon thing to see in media. i think i just chose a train because it seemed quaint… it was initially meant to be a space journey of sorts playing on the blend of sea/space exploration. this angle of it was heavily influenced by coheed and cambria’s afterman albums and from them the concept of the keywork, a random space structure housing a bunch of ghosts. this eventually lead to me kinda considering something more fantastical so i decided to make it more about weird dimension travel instead. i’ve always liked strange dereality-influenced structures in my stories hence the construction of the fornax reality. the sci fantasy angle just came in as a natural evolution of this i think, i was just very fascinated by the idea of allegorising magic to code. there’s lots to say here but it’s mostly a mix of me wanting to do anachronistic close-to-earth-times technological fantasy and me just thinking up conceptually funny things to incorporate into the setting whenever i could

characters themselves have so many individual references it’d be like unwieldy to mention them all here. but the common thread between them is weird autism and brainweird that mostly stems from my own behavior LOL i got sick of not having characters who struggled with expressing and naming emotions and had the capacity to be overly angry and mean… huge part of ccs is also just miscommunication out of characters making assumptions and crafting narratives and having grudges and like. i focus on these kinds of nuances under a kind of sympathetic lens as these characters learn to progress and collaborate with one another. the sympathy is very important

a lot of characters also came from me melding different characters i liked and whatnot. like freya is a distilled version of “weird girl with godly powers who can be rude and self-righteous to the detriment of herself and others around her” which is probably my fucking favorite niche character archetype of all time. or isel as “absolute failure of a man using word of mouth to present himself as something grandiose and important” or peixin as “guy tortured by fucking visions”. sometimes it’s even more niche like valerie was just based on various fighting game girls i found cool and i was like alright what if she was a vampire too. a lot of characters were also inspired by specific songs and albums but uhhhh that’s delving into playlist talk which will unleash so much autism in me.

[piercingbonez]

gone || thomas shelby x reader oneshot

warnings: angst angst angst! swearing

words: 1.2k

a/n: a more depressing oneshot after the teeth rotting fluff last week. got to keep you all on your toes! please let me know what you think! feedback is extremely appreciated and encouraged.

enjoy!

-

The last words you’d spoken to him hung heavy in the air between the two of you. A question you’d asked with fear in your eyes and terror for the answer.

You couldn’t even look at him, not even vaguely in his direction. Your eyes burned but there were no tears, you felt like your head was going to burst at any moment. His response stinging in your mind, bringing everything to a screaming halt. For a moment you didn’t even believe he’d said those words. You refused to accept that what he was saying was the truth. It couldn’t be.

The room was thick with tension, neither one of you wanting to address the conversation you’d just had. He’d probably just say a simple sorry and leave anyway, he’d never been good with emotions. But you knew that when you got together, and now part of you was regretting even meeting the man before you.

He’d given you the best years of your life but was it worth it for the heartbreak he’d just delivered to you?

With clenched fists and pain on your face you finally lifted your eyes to flick over his form. He was still sat in the same position as he was before, cigarette still perched between his fingers. He didn’t display any emotion, not sadness, not anger, not even guilt. He’d got good at that, hiding how he felt, but now that fact just stung, he’d just ruined everything you’d built up and he didn’t even have the decency to look anything other than bored.

“You’re being serious, aren’t you?” Were the only words you could force out past your gritted teeth. There was a flicker of something in his eyes, maybe remorse, you hoped he felt guilty.

He seemed to pause to think of a response, bringing his cigarette up to his lips to inhale every few moments, a mechanical movement that was second nature for him. On a normal day you’d admire the way his lips curled up in what could be mistaken for a smile when the cigarette made contact with them, or the way his icy blue eyes looked through the smoke. But not today. Not now. Not ever. As you watched him now you saw how he looked more at ease holding a cigarette than he ever did holding you.

He’d never been particularly….affectionate. Maybe on your wedding night, but that was such a distant memory now you refused to allow yourself to think back on it.

After all, your marriage now meant nothing. Years spent with the man you presumed your soulmate came crashing down in a matter of seconds, with one simple word. “Yes.” Which he repeated again in response to your question.

Now yes, in a relationship was typically something positive.

Yes, i’ll be your girlfriend.

Yes, i’ll be your wife.

Yes, i’d love to take the next step.

You’d never dreamed that this conversation would happen, it was so out of your mind it wasn’t even a nightmare or a worry you’d ever had.

But it was real, it was more real than anything else.

“You still love her, don’t you?” You replayed your own words in your head.

“Yes.” Yes. Fucking yes. Not even an i’m sorry, or even a look of guilt. The worst part was, as he uttered those words he almost looked relieved. Relieved that he’d finally stopped lying to you.

You thought about the previous night, and even the morning, now feeling like an age ago when he’d kissed your forehead and told you he loved you.

Lies. All of it. Fucking lies.

“For how long?” You mumbled, but you weren’t sure you even wanted to know the answer. But you had to, you had to know how long this had been happening, how long he’d been lying to you.

“I’m sorry.” He finally muttered, but his words were hollow and meaningless. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t going to fix anything, nothing could repair what had just happened.

“How long?” You repeated, unable to hold back the anger in your tone anymore. His jaw clenched as you pressed further, clearly not wanting to admit that he’d spent fuck knows how long whispering empty words to you.

“She wrote to me a few months ago.” Months. Fucking MONTHS.

You couldn’t stop the way your hands shook, with anger, fear or sadness you didn’t know. Every emotion you felt was negative, drowning you. Everything was way too much all at once.

“Months? Thomas? Months?” You stumbled out in disbelief, glaring at him, hoping he’d understand just how much he hurt you.

“Yes. I met with ‘er once.” As if it couldn’t get worse, the words he spoke packed a bigger punch than any physical action. “Im not going to lie to you.” You couldn’t believe the audacity of this man, the way he so nonchalantly admitted to loving his ex, to lying through months of a marriage.

“You did lie! You have lied! Every time since you’ve told me you loved me was a lie!” Your voice rose with each word, more and more anger bubbling up inside of you. You wished this was just some sick nightmare, that you’d wake up any moment, that he’d hold you close and brush your hair gently before kissing your forehead and telling you to go back to sleep, that you were safe with him.

His face remained stony, practically emotionless as he continued to smoke, almost tauntingly as he watched you. His eyes seemed to analyse every tense and twitch of your body, as if he was trying to sense your next move.

“I need to go sort something out.” He stubbed his cigarette out on the ashtray beside him before rising to his feet. His movements were robotic, almost as if he simply wasn’t at all affected by what they’d just discussed. “I’ll be back in a few days.”

Days. D a y s.

Typically you’d smile, be a nice loving wife, make him promise to be safe and eat well, ensure he knew just how much you loved him before he left, kisses and hugs and admittance of affection.

But now, when you’d normally reach for his body to wrap around yours, you remained still. It was your turn to be emotionless now.

You had no idea when he would return, and for a moment, somehow that hurt than the knowlege that you no longer occupied his heart.

Because was leaving, but then again, maybe he’d already left. Was he ever really with you when his heart was longing for someone else, when he’d visited the woman he promised you he no longer harboured feelings for. You didn’t know. Nothing made sense as you stared at his now empty chair, feeling the sadness finally begin to well in your eyes.

You didn’t dare to turn to watch him leave, simply listened until his footsteps were a distant echo. And then they were gone. And he was gone.

It was as if nothing mattered, because nothing did, did it? What was life if he wasn’t by your side. You’d built everything up alongside him, planned a future out around him. You’d imagined your entire life with him.

And now it was all gone.

But there was one thing you knew you had to do.

You had to pack, because two can play at that game.

And then you were gone.

[lupically]

#F40B32 | RYOMEN SUKUNA.

genre | light fluff, light angst, very faint romance undertone 

word count | 2616

warning | mention of death, mention of injury, mention of killing, decapitation 

note | i just wanted to try my hand at writing for a villain that is obviously irredeemable in a semi-realistic way.

what happens when you are irredeemable? you will fall in love anyway.

but ryomen sukuna wasn't in love with you. after all, he had killed you one too few times to claim that he was in love with you.

the first time he killed you was out of instinct. you were an intruder touching his soul the way mahito did, except you barged in without any malicious intention. he had gazed over your fallen body with mild interest then; a mere mortal, yet you emerged from thin air into his locked tight domain without dying?

the second time he killed you was a choice. he gave you not a minute to explain yourself, even though you had wasted the minute asking questions about his identity and the skull-filled area instead of giving him any valuable information about yourself. he had been fed up, he was never a man of patience, so he killed you with a wave of his hand and returned to his dull life alone on his throne.

the third time he killed you—he did not kill you. there was no third time; people liked to say the third time's charm but sukuna believed no such superstition. he killed you twice already and each time, you came back unscathed, both your body and your memories. whether he liked it or not, killing you for the third time would do neither you nor him any benefit, so he kept you alive.

you were afraid of him. he could tell, and he meant for things to be that way until he realized it served as a misfortune on his part. in order to understand this mystery—your sudden appearance into his domain, as well as your inability to leave it and his inability to kick you out—he has to gain some piece of information about you, but you were too shaken up from being murdered to talk to him at all.

sukuna's patience was reaching a breaking point and he thought about torturing it out of you, but he understood that humans are fragile, way more fragile than your typical jujutsu sorcerer. he could accidentally kill you and you would return with no scars and more unwilling to converse with him than before. then it was the waiting game all over again.

he wasn't planning on going through such a dull ordeal again, so he left you be and waited for you to calm yourself down.

the first time you talked to him, you asked him a question.

"are you going to kill me?" you asked him.

sukuna peered down at you from his throne. small, frightened, curled into a ball with no desire to touch the skeletons at his feet, but you looked up at him out of politeness.

he scoffed, displeased. "no, but i always can."

the second time you talked to him, it was to exchange a brief introduction.

"ryomen sukuna," he hummed curtly then he nudged his chin toward you. "your turn."

you shuffled up to your knees and sat down on your heels. your fingers fidgetted at your lap as you timidly peered up at his tattooed, disinterested expression.

"[full name]," you said with a nod, unable to meet his eyes. "nice–nice to meet you, sukuna-san..."

the third time you talked to him, you flinched.

"ma–may i ask you two questions... if i can...?" you asked, for the first time standing up to face him directly.

sukuna leaned away from his propped-up arm. after taking a better look at you, accessing your figure analytically despite having seen you move around slowly for days already, he shoved his hands into the sleeves of his robe and he suddenly jumped down from his throne to stand before you.

you pursed your lips nervously over his looming figure, face heating up with terrible anxiety while your eyes darted down to the watery ground. oh, his presence has been so overwhelmingly deadly that you forgot your white tennis shoes were stained red and your pastel ankle socks remained wet. you did not dare to complain, not even in your head.

"i'll allow it," he said.

"where am i?" you quickly asked.

"an innate domain," he replied.

you have questions, but you decided not to ask. you only nodded after breathing out a soft sigh to calm your nerves. this man constantly sounded condescending, he was kicking open your comfort zone without actively doing anything that would make you uncomfortable.

"okay..." you said, "thank you."

"aren't you going to ask me another question?" he stated with a raise of his brow. "you wanted to ask me two questions."

you gulped, blinking hopelessly at the air as a grimace appeared on your face. "the first question was if i can ask you two questions, and the second one is about where i am... so that makes two."

oh, a meticulously cautious one, and somewhat humorous too he would give you that. sukuna scoffed loudly, but it was less out of annoyance and more out of disbelief of your incredible dullness. however, as plain as you were, he has grown accustomed to your presence; the scent of fear that bounced off of you and the fact that he cannot kill you at will.

"you must be dying to know what this place is, are you not, you brat?" sukuna asked.

when he saw the flashes in your eyes, he knew he had you down through and through. all you were was but someone who was too afraid to say what they want, which was just as he expected from you. you wouldn't cause him trouble, you never could.

reaching his hand out of his sleeve, he stayed silent despite seeing the way you flinched with your eyes shut at his raised hand. his movement had been slow, but that was an involuntary response, an instinct that he didn't craft into you. he wondered what it was.

"you can ask me three more questions," he said as he pushed the heel of his palm against the curve of your head. he was gentle at first, then he clamped his hand down on your head as he bent his waist to meet your eyes. he laughed. "i'll allow it."

he could keep you here. he has no choice but to keep you here, and he would kill you once he realized he has the ability to. but for now, perhaps he could act a little civil, something like a human being but one that people would hate to the core.

except he was met with a little obstacle in the way, which was that you were no bad company.

the first time sukuna gained a liking toward you was when you asked him a peculiar question.

"sukuna-san," you called one time when there was only silence within the innate domain.

you sat on a bed of skulls, one that you tentatively asked the king of curses to make you so you wouldn't have to lean on the rib-cage structure and sit in water for slumber.

he denied it at first. calling you names and threatening you about ever requesting something from him—a bed in his domain? fucking atrocious. but your insomnia was killing you; you hated the blood water and your neck burned whenever you wake up having it arched at the worst angle possible.

he did not grow soft. he just made one so he didn't have to watch you sleep in his peripheral vision.

"hmm."

"why do you think curses exist?"

he raised a brow at you. "did i not teach you that before?"

"you did, sorry," you nodded, "then do you believe in god?"

"where the fuck is this coming from, you brat?"

"from where i came, god is good. but from what i am seeing, whether from where i came from or here, everything goes against that value," you muttered loudly as you pulled at your fingers. "cursed spirits harm people. if i can argue that way, i think cursed spirits are harmful within themselves."

"if god is good, and god is real, why would this happen," you said. "why should we feel negative emotions? why do we have the ability to create cursed spirits? why do curses like you exist?"

he furrowed his brows in irritation. have you reduced him to mere curses? have you reduced him to nothing but a brainless being that only takes joy in the suffering of others? no matter how he approached your words, he felt infuriated that you could minimize his importance to simply being a bad person.

he was much more than a bad person, much more than just a pain! he has ideals, he has goals and ambitions, he has wit and strength! he has anger and malevolence and power beyond which your soul could ever contain and endure! he was ryomen sukuna, the strongest curse in a thousand years and more!

he will fucking kill you.

"i'm really glad you're here, though," you finished off softly, an unknowing smile on your face as you rubbed your thumbs weakly together.

he will kill you.

"for a long time, i was told my anger and hatred aren't real. that they don't and should not exist, and i learned to bury them to the ground so they never appear on the surface again," you said, your innocent smile audible to his ears and making his chest twitch with guilt.

"cursed spirits' existence is proof that my negative emotions are real. they may be a problem, but i am not crazy for having them because they're here. they became something, they're here and alive."

he will... he will kill you.

"i just think it's unfair to put the blame on cursed spirits and cursed energy alone when the society's standard guarantees the manifestation of them," you said. "if my anger got out to the world in the form of a monster and it hurt someone, i'll forgive it. i will forgive myself."

he...

"you don't need to hear this, i wish i had your confidence, but i have to say it," you looked up and smiled at him, "i'm a little glad you're here, sukuna-san."

he will kill–he will ki��

the second time, he went stoic.

mahito was too smart for his own good. the first thing he noticed when he entered the soul within yuji's body was the way sukuna has the collar of your shirt clutched in his hand and your body pulled close to his side. it was a glance, he had one small glimpse of you both before he was kicked out of the domain.

your face was riddled with tears—crying, disappointed, and frustrated, but why? for the transfigured human whose name mahito almost forgot, or because sukuna just had one of the most sadistic outbursts you have ever witnessed.

and sukuna, the king, the lord, the almighty—didn't he look annoyed. well, not annoyed, per se. angry, mad, overwhelmed, knowing, protective. very, very, very protective; glowing eyes that glared at mahito's patched up face, fingers that gripped at your shirt so tightly he could rip the fabric apart, an aura that was ready to spit any moment if mahito so much as reach a finger toward your direction.

you meant something to ryomen sukuna. mahito realized that, so the second time he entered the innate domain, he killed you.

right before his eyes, with a cunning and triumphant smile, your neck cracked and your skin broke, and mahito tore your head off just before he was once again beat out of the domain.

sukuna tried to heal you. he tried to seal your head back to your lifeless body, time and time again pushing your decapitated head against your haphazardly cut neck. but his reverse curse technique wasn't healing you. your skin refused to piece itself back together, you refused to come back to him. time passed and he was getting mad, he was going batshit crazy trying to force himself out of this body.

bastard! bastard! bastard! he was supposed to kill you! he was supposed to be the one to kill you! he would murder that patch-faced piece of shit! he would kill mahito! and he would destroy the whole world, light it on fire and kill all that wasn't worthy of his time! he would jump universes, light-years, the bloodstream of the galaxy to find you and bring you back to him. he would—

"sukuna-san, i'm sorry i took a while! i thought you were fighting–holy shit, is that me?"

the third time, sukuna admitted to himself.

"what kind of flowers do you like, sukuna-san?" you asked, voice drowsy and your legs dangling after you climbed on one of the bones of the rib-cage structure.

"why does it matter?" he asked from his throne, eyeing you carefully.

your were a clumsy idiot. you could fall anytime.

"it doesn't, but it's flowers," you mumbled with your chin leaning against the bone, eyes threatening to close. "sukuna... sukuna..."

"what?" he snapped.

"i like lilies, the red ones," you said with a silly grin. "will you visit me when i die? sukuna... will you bring... mmm... bring red lilies..."

he looked ahead. your death; your grave, decorated with red lilies, protected and preserved with his curses. your death—he gritted his teeth. he refused to think about it. it was a waste of time.

or maybe he simply hated the idea of your death.

sukuna has not gone soft. he was irredeemable; a killer, a curse, a tragedy to descend upon mankind. he was not good and he never would be, nor did he ever have the intention to be good.

still, from you, there was proof that he could be more. what was left of his being; his anger and his torture, what was left within the gaps of his hell, the rare softness that once was there, belonged to you now.

you were the vessel that pocketed all that he could potentially become if he wasn't born to be ryomen sukuna, a version of him that you have witnessed. within you, there was proof that he did not only exist to hurt people, but also to validate madness and pain, to acknowledge passion in its murderous wakefulness. within you, there was proof that within himself, there are pieces of what it means to be human and alive.

hearing your soft breath, sukuna looked up to find you asleep with your head against the bone. your arms barely supported your weight and you were threatening to fall off as you dozed with faint snores. he stared at you, his fingers twitching, then he finally waved his hand so he could bring you away from the ribcage and to where he sat.

he paid no mind to subtlety when he set you on his lap. his hand supported your back while he kept your head pressed against his shoulder. his other arm went around your body, preventing you from falling off the throne made only for him to sit on. when he was done adjusting to the new sitting position, he relaxed.

brushing the hair away from your face, he stared down at you with disinterest, but his heart pumped and pumped for you to be warm and well, his arms tightened for you to sleep soundly.

"i will bring you all the red lilies you want," he whispered, the back of his finger gliding past your soft cheek. you did not smell like fear when you fall asleep, you did not smell like fear now even when you looked at him. "i will allow myself that."

after all, ryomen sukuna was only fond of you. very, very fond of you. 

[annab-nana]

All A Game - JJ Maybank

You were a kook dating the hottest pogue so you should have guessed something was up, but you never would have thought that your relationship with JJ was a joke.

Requested by @rochyu 💙

A/N: just to clarify, this is based on a scene from the movie “after”, so if it seems familiar, that is why

Warnings: some curse words; angst

Word Count: 2.0k+

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Laughter sounded throughout the closed restaurant as you, JJ, and all of his friends—who you too have become quite close within the span of your relationship—were hanging out with cold fries and watered-down drinks before you on the table. These moments were the ones you held close to your heart. They just felt so warm, something you never ever felt with your friends at the kook academy. Your only kook friends that you ever felt a genuine connection with were Rafe and Kelce, but they always tried to come to your rescue even when not necessary which while endearing was a tad annoying. They probably hated you now that you were fraternizing with the enemy so to speak.

The pogues made you feel so at home in a place that despised you and you had actual fun with them. Between surfing, fishing, little adventures, and late nights like tonight at The Wreck, you grew close to them, called them true friends but boy, were you wrong.

There you sat, a wide radiant smile on your face. JJ’s arm was slung around your shoulders as he cracked more jokes. Pope was on your other side, his dorky grin put on display. Kiara and John B sat on the opposite, giggles flying from their lips alongside quick remarks to add to the banter. Another warm moment that would be your last. Your last moment in their presence and you would miss it. You would be savoring it now if only you knew.

“I gotta wring it out. Be right back,” JJ announced before pressing his lips to your temple—the last kiss from him you would receive—and standing up to leave.

“Ew,” you scolded while wiping the kiss off that you’d wish later on you could do with every part of you he and those damn heavenly lips had touched, “don’t kiss me after talking about that.”

“C’mon princess, don’t do that,” he pouted at you as he blew you a kiss and disappeared into the men’s restroom.

“You two are gross,” John B commented, his facial expression showing his disgust for the interaction he had witnessed.

“Like you don’t mack on Sarah every fucking chance you get,” you quipped, earning some laughs from Pope and Kie. “Anyway, I’m in love with him so say all you want. I don’t care.”

As soon as the words left you, the air was thick around you as the tension grew. You felt Pope stiffen next to you and watched as John B and Kie showed similar blank expressions.

“Is… everything alright?” you questioned with a nervous chuckle. Kiara’s eyes flitted to Pope’s for a second whose eyes widened at what she was insinuating before they jumped to John B’s. “What’s going on?”

“I-“ she sighed while she unlocked her phone, “y/n, there’s something you should know about JJ.”

“O-okay,” you stuttered out in a small voice, worry filling your veins only to heighten when you heard his voice.

“Woah, who killed the mood?” the blond joked, trying to lift the spirits of the group but based on your worried expression, Kie’s eyes never meeting his, and Pope and John B shaking their heads, he realized something serious was going on. “What happened?”

Kiara finally revealed what she was looking for on her phone. It was turned sideways so you all could see the video better and front and center was JJ Maybank. She had not played it yet, but you could tell by his surroundings that it was from the night you met him. It was at that party where Sarah drunkenly introduced you to John B. The other pogues were there too but you had no knowledge of them at the time. That’s when you saw him, blond hair a mess but still cute and bright blue eyes that you found captivating. He saw you too and introduced himself before trying to make a move on you. You, of course, rejected him because he was known everywhere for his infamous one-night stands, and you weren’t here for that. You desired something more that at the time, you didn’t think he could provide. He then went back to his friends, the ones you sat around today.

“Kie,” John B warned as she shot a sharp glare at JJ and played the video. You saw yourself in the video looking up at JJ. It was the exact moment you had met him, and Kiara had filmed it.

“Aw, it looks like JJ Maybank just got his first rejection,” Kie spoke from behind the camera while JJ turned around with an amused smile on his face. John B was laughing behind the phone as well, probably heavily intoxicated on alcohol and Sarah.

“You don’t think I can make it happen?” JJ teased, blue eyes going to each of his friends who stood behind Kiara while he quirked a brow teasingly.

“Make what happen, JJ?” Kie asked before she hiccupped. She’d had a few prior to this as well.

“Make her fall in love with me and then,” he paused then snapped his fingers, “turn it off.”

At that, you felt the tears well in your eyes, but they were also glued to the screen in front of you. You saw the smile he wore after he spoke such a damaging statement and it cut you deep inside. As for everyone else, they were watching you. The video stopped mere seconds after he said those painful words and your eyes lifted from the phone to its owner.

“It was all a game,” Kie’s voice spoke to you while wearing a pitiful expression on the face you thought was of a friend, but she didn’t feel like on right now. None of them did. Though she repeated what you already knew, thanks to the video, you could not believe it. Your focus faltered to the table as you tried to calm the thoughts running through your mind. Every moment you shared with him was nothing. It was all meaningless. It was all a lie. He never cared about you and slowly, that was tearing you up inside.

“Y/n?” JJ’s concerned voice entered your ears. How in any way did he have the right to be concerned for you? This was his mess after all. He did this. You didn’t look up from the table. “Y/n,” he tried again, this time reaching for your hand, but you shrugged it off. “Y/n, please, you have to believe me,” he said while you tried your hardest not to look at him, keeping your gaze trained on the table. He leaned in to be a little closer to you.

“Y/n, that was before everything, before I got to know you,” he desperately tried to get you to understand his side of things. Instead of turning to him, you turned to Pope. His big brown eyes scanned your face, seeing how you were breaking, and he hated it for you. His face showed sympathy, but he was in the wrong too, just not as bad as JJ.

“Is that true?” Your voice broke at the last word, and you despised yourself for it. You could see the little line of tears blurring your vision at the bottom, but not one had dared to fall. Pope looked down for a moment. He did not want to be the one to tell you, but his silence answered your question. Your eyes found John B and Kie next. “And all of you knew?” Back to the table your stare went when no one spoke.

“Y/n,” JJ’s shaking voice sounded on your left. Finally giving up, you let your eyes meet his. What a bad idea that was? Once you caught sight of the beautiful blues, it felt like you were drowning. It was like the water was clogging your ears because you saw his lips moving. You knew he was talking, but no sound was coming to you. Through your blurring vision, you saw that he was fighting off tears too, but what did he have to cry about? He broke yourheart, absolutely wrecked it, and here he was with tears in his eyes. Why couldn’t he just turn it off like he said he could? God, you hated him so much right now. Through the deafening silence, you scrambled to stand as JJ did the same with you.

“Y/n, wait,” you thought he said. That’s what it looked like he said, but you would not know. And you wouldn’t be there to find out either as you took off running for the exit. Once outside, the rain could be heard but also so could JJ.

“Y/n, wait,” he tried again but you kept walking. “Y/n!”

“None of it was real,” you paused to breathe as you faced him, “I actually thought… I thought that-” Your words were cut off by that feeling of your chest tightening as the emotions swirled inside you. That gummy feeling rose to your throat and blocked you from speaking for a moment and JJ noticed this. He knew you now. He knew how you looked when the world was crumbling all around you and that’s how you looked right now. He hated that he was the one who had caused this. “You’re just a liar.”

“That was all before,” he tried to fight, tried to get you to fucking understand but it was too hard. It would never make sense to you and how could it?

“Before what?” you inquired. You were emotionally drained and honestly so done with this situation that you knew you should have seen coming. Love can blind you sometimes though.

“Before-”

“You snapped your fingers and turned it off?” you asked after cutting him off. Guilt was written all over his face and you watched as he thought about what to say next.

“You said nothing could change the way you felt about me.” Yes, JJ, but that was before I knew you were playing some game with me! That’s what you wanted to scream at him. God, you wanted to scream at him, but you didn’t have it in you at the moment.

“Then, I guess we’re both liars,” you stated, plain and simple. You watched as his head hung low and you decided you were done with this, turning to leave. Nothing seemed to be on your side tonight because you had come with everyone in John B’s van after he picked you up so now you had to walk home in the rain. Luckily, The Wreck was between your land and theirs so it wouldn’t be a long trek and the rain masked your tears so to onlookers, you were just walking alone in the rain. Not as sad as you would seem if they had known what was really happening but still pretty pathetic. Your feet took you into the land of the kooks and surprisingly to Tannyhill where Rafe sat outside in his truck.

“What were you doing alone in the rain? Shouldn’t you be with those demons?” Rafe teased, attempting to get you to smile but failing miserably.

“Don’t talk about them,” you barked before letting out your next word a lot more silently and vulnerably, “please.”

“Are you okay?” Anytime someone asks that when you are trying to fight back tears, it always breaks the dam.

“No,” you muttered, but he was quick to pull you into his arms to comfort your sobbing state.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” You laughed after that. It was funny hearing him apologize on a pogue’s behalf. “What’s so funny?” he asked, a little laughter in his tone as well.

“Nothing, just you’re not telling me ‘I told you so’ or whatever,” you told him honestly, but he was just glad to see you smiling again.

“Wanna go inside? I imagine you’re cold.” You nodded in response as Rafe turned off the vehicle and reached for the door to leave, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

“I- uh, sorry. I just wanted to say thank you,” you muttered before he shot you a smile and hugged you again, his lips finding the top of your head in a friendly manner.

“Anytime, y/n.”

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[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.) 

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not. 

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look,"  you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him.  First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions. 

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him. 

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

[symphonicmetal101]

Reactions to MC Falling Asleep On/Next To Them

Ok, just for consistency, MC falls asleep on them during a meeting. MC switches spots every meeting to avoid fights.

Lucifer:

He was in the middle of speaking to Diavolo when he felt a weight on his shoulder

To his surprise, amusement, and horror, you had fallen asleep on him....in front of Diavolo (not that he let his emotions show)

However he was concerned that you had fainted, so he tried to wake you up, however Diavolo intervened, saying he had watched you nod off the whole time

He still wanted to wake you up because this was still a meeting that you were supposed to attend.

Diavolo tried to intervene again for your sake, and Lucifer was going to (reluctantly) listen.

However he shifted his arm enough to have you slump forward and nearly hit your head on the table

He managed to catch you in time, helping you into a position on the table that you would be comfortable, cleared his throat, and went on with the meeting.

Oh, but inside he felt a surge of pride that you had come to trust him enough to fall asleep with him near. Nobody could miss the smug smirk that played over his lips for the rest of the meeting.

At the end of the meeting, he stays behind with you. He gives you his coat as a blanket, and a small kiss to your forehead. He promised himself only five minutes more before waking you, but seeing your peaceful face changed his mind.

He scooped you up and took you home.

When you woke up, he denied anything having happened.

Until you confront him with photo evidence from Diavolo

Mammon:

He was only kind of paying attention to the meeting, he was mostly tapping around on his phone, sometimes showing you a picture of himself or something he hoped you would like

However when you slumped against him, he dropped his phone.

"Oi! Whaddya think you're- oh" (whisper-yell if ya know what I'm talking about?)

Once he realizes you're asleep, he blushes a little and moves some hair out of your face.

But he also realizes that now he can't move without waking you up.

But he also doesn't want to be in this damn boring meeting.

It's a calculated risk to try and get his phone back while keeping you asleep, but it's a risk he's willing to take..

....ok so it was a miscalculated risk

He got his phone, but was quick to react to the "thump" of your head hitting the table.

You were awake now, hand to your head, rubbing the sore spot.

You now had the attention of all the brothers.

Cue his brothers getting mad at hin :(

You try to tell them it's not that bad

(This part's a little ooc, sorry)

He grabs your hand and walks out of the meeting, ignoring Lucifer.

He blushes furiously as he pulls you in for a hug, an apology, and a quick peck to where you hit your head.

"Hey, I know I screwed up this time, but ya can't fall asleep on anyone else, got it? Just me. I won't let ya get hurt again."

You laugh it off lightly; you really weren't hurt, but it was endearing to see him so protective of you, him taking the situation a little more seriously than needed.

You hold him close and promise him you're ok, and that of course, you won't go passing out on anyone else.

Levi:

He was playing a game on his phone

You had been leaning over his shoulder every once in a while to check how he was doing

He didn't mind, and got a little blushy every time you got close to him

He thought that was all you were doing when he felt you against him, but you started to feel a little heavier, and you didn't pull away.

He turned to see if you were ok, only to see you were asleep.

His squirming made you fall onto his lap

Poor baby doesn't know what to do

He lost his game, but that doesn't matter now as he looks at you sleeping so peacefully.

His face is fully flushed, and he had a hand over his mouth to prevent any noises from escaping.

He looked over you to your other side, where Asmo was, mouthing the word "help"

Asmo just pouts and mouths back, "with what? You're so lucky!!! Look at them! They're soooo cute!!"

Realizing he didn't really have a way out of this, he tentatively pushed a bit of hair out of your face.

He was still very red for the rest of the meeting

At one point he shifted into his demon form to use his tail to keep you from falling off...he wasn't quite comfortable using his hands yet.

He didn't dare move even after the meeting was over, hissing at Mammon when he made too much noise and you started to stir.

Eventually you woke up in his room. Nobody quite knew how Levi had gotten you there, but if you told him you appreciated the rest, he'll be blushy for ya again.

Satan

He and Belphie were making faces at each other from across the table

Y'know just to spite Lucifer

And to see the look on your face everytime he turned to face you

But after a while Lucifer ignores them, so there was no point.

So his back was to you when he felt you leaning against him

He thought it was kind of weird, but couldn't look back at you. You also weren't responding to him

He shot Belphie a look of confusion, and a bit of concern, but it was Beel who saw it, as Belphie was passed out on the table

He simply pointed at Belphie, and then pointed at you.

Oh?

Oh

He desperately wanted to 1. See you sleeping, 2. Move into a more comfortable position, 3. Repostion you so you weren't at risk of falling, like you were now

He used his demon form to hold you up momentarily while he shifted in such a way to hold you properly

He stays in his demon form, his tail wrapped around your waist, your upper body now in his lap

Lucifer tries to convince him to wake you up

So out of spite, Satan falls asleep too, still holding onto you tightly

Asmo:

He's one of the few that actually tries to be engaged at meetings

But when the topic moves off of him, fashion, or MC, he gets bored quickly

He had one hand on yours, idly drawing shapes and designs with his finger while he read the latest fashion news on his D.D.D.

He found an outfit he thought you would love and was eager to share it with you but..

You had fallen asleep on the table, cheek squished up against the surface, gently holding his hand

He had to hold back a squeal of excitement as he opened up the camera on his phone and started taking copious amounts of pictures of your cute face

Once he had his fill, he realized thay your position would be terrible for your back...and neck...and face.

He feels kind of bad, but he's just looking out for you when he gently shakes you awake

You thank him, and refuse to let go of his hand as you wake up

This time the sqeaul of happiness is very audible as he pulls you into a hug and a couple dozen selfies

Beel:

Sweet babie boy is too hungry to pay proper attention in meetings, though he would if he could

So he doesn't notice when you've passed out next to him right away, especially because Belphie does it all the time

It isn't until its time to go that he realizes that you're asleep

At first, he was just going to get some snacks and wait until you woke up

But Asmo pointed out that you would get stiff in that position on the table

So as gently as possible, he moves you into a position he can pick you up in

Belphie gives him his pillow so that you'll be comfortable in his arms until they get home

He tucks you into bed in your room; he treats you like porcelain the whole time, worried that somehow he would hurt you

He leaves the room, but kinda hovers near your door to stop any of his brothers from disturbing you

Belphie

He mever pays attention in meetings, if he even bothers to show up

But today was his turn to sit next to you

Your company didn't stop him from falling asleep though

He woke up about half way through the meeting, but he didn't know why

At least until he tried to move, and felt something on top of him

He whispered to Beel, who lowered himself enough to see his brother's face

"Is this MC?" "Yeah?" "Ok."

He falls back asleep, although his face is slightly flushed as he buries it into his arms because you're just too cute!

Hours later he wakes up to Beel carrying him home on one arm, and you on the other. He tried to let you guys sleep, but he didn't want you guys to stay overnight at the school

By some miracle, you were still asleep, so Belphie happily took you into his arms this time before he passed out too.

Diavolo:

Diavolo made room for you to sit next to him at the head of the table

While the others didn't know, but you were holding his hand with both of yours, in your lap.

It felt very intimate for him, as the most he had done in years was shake hands or maybe give Lucifer a pat on the back

So he was a smiley babie the entire time, only partially listening to what Lucifer was saying to him

His partial attention went completely out the window when he felt your weight on his arm.

Lucifer looked mortified, however Diavolo had a rather surprised look

You...you fell asleep on him

You fell asleep on him!

He was very happy. It was a sign of trust, the trust you had in him and in everyone in the room. Not to mention, that was the closest anyone had been to him in a long time

Lucifer was going to apologize on your behalf, but Diavolo wouldn't have it

He gently shook you awake, taking in your dazed eyes.

He just woke you up to reposition you on his lap; it's far more comfortable than that chair anyways

He held you with one arm, dismissed the meeting, and relished (is that a bad choice of words for someone who hates pickles?) His time with you.

His other arm was busy dismissing Lucifer, and once they had left...

He took hundreds (literally) of photos of you in his lap, him poking your cheek, and some that no one else were to see, but he placed small kisses on your head.

Although he was upset to let you go, Barbatos and Lucifer encouraged forced him to take you home and let you sleep in your bed.

He personally carried you home, however if you grab his wrist before he goes and ask him to stay, he'll be powerless against you. Fuck off Luci, and screw royal duties

Barbatos:

He doesn't sit down at meetings, as he is he butler.

But you managed to sneak off under the guise of going to the bathroom, and found him in the kitchen

He was preparing refreshments for after the meeting when you came and hugged him from behind, burying your face in his back

He just chuckled at you, but continued to prep, using magic to pass him the things he needed so he wouldn't have to move

What caught him off guard was when he heard a small snore, and you starting to slip sideways on his back

....how did you fall asleep standing up? Humans are capable of that?

In any case, he turned around to support you so you wouldn't fall, left the refreshments and carried you to a small couch

He used a small energy spell to help you wake up, and left to finish the refreshments

A few minutes later, you found him again, and thanked him for letting you rest.

You got one of his rare smiles. He then reminded you that you had a meeting to return to

"That's still going?? I thought I was asleep for hours."

He shook his head and smiled fondly as you exaggerated a groan.

"I'll accompany you there. I have tea for My Lord and the guests."

Simeon:

He always pays attention, but when he gets bored, you and he play tic-tac-toe on a scrap of paper.

He was waiting for you to pass the paper back, but after some time had passed, he decided to turn and look at you

You were asleep on the table, and Luke was poking you, trying to get you to wake up.

He gently asked Luke to leave you alone. You were clearly worn out, and this was one of the few times the brothers weren't causing chaos.

He returned to listening to the meeting, absentmindedly stroking your hair and back while you rested

He helped Luke use his hat as your pillow, so your face wouldn't turn red or get hurt

When the meeting ended, he gently woke you up, and offered to walk you home, hoping the walk would help you re-energize a bit, as well as taking advantage of the rare quiet moments you two had.

You guys ended up walking for ages, so when you finally stopped in front of HOL, the guys were freaking out because you hadn't answered your phone.

You hid behind and pushed him through the brothers like a shield, and to your room, where you cuddled until Luke called Simeon because Solomon was trying to cook again.

Luke:

He's a child

He gets bored very easily

So you and he have little handshakes and other games to play discreetly during meetings

However, you had been caught by Lucifer, so you decided to stop for a bit.

Luke was caught off guard when you put your head down on the table

"...MC? Are you ok?"

You tell him you're fine, you just have a bit of a headache, so he resigns and let's you rest

But then he hears you snore

"MC?! You're going to get in trouble again!"

He tried poking at your cheek, small tugs to your hair, and continued to talk to you.

His desperation caught Simeon's attention

When he explains what's wrong, Simeon encourages him to let you sleep

But now he's bored again

So he starts moving your face for you, making you look angry, upset, happy, etc. Before anyone can catch him

Eventually he realizes that he's going to be stuck there for a while, and he's getting kind of tired too.

So he falls asleep next to you, holding your hand

That way he'll know when you wake up, and if he needs your help to get out of trouble, he can squeeze your hand.

By some miracle, (Called Simeon and Beel) you guys ended up in your respective beds.

Luke called you as soon as he woke up to check on you

Solomon:

Surprisingly, he is very attentive at meetings

Mostly because he wants to impress Lucifer and butter him up to make a pact with him

But that doesn't change the fact that when he notices you starting to fall asleep, he takes action

By taking action he makes your eye twitch with a quick spell

"What the fuck? Solomon, why?" "Because, if I have to be here, you have to be awake." "You couldn't have just cast an energy spell or something? Seriously?"

Yes, seriously.

He needs entertainment, and your silent frustration is hilarious for him to watch

Until the meeting is over and you tackle him, causing chaos to break loose.

I hope y'all liked that, Ik I have a huge WIP list and I don't even stick to it. Oh well. Thank you to @aceaine for helping me keep on track😁

Masterlist

[goffilolo]

black clover thoughts part 5 - the rage edition

It's time for the unpopular opinions:

first of all, i fuckin hate langris. Do I hate him in general? or just the way he was handled? hard to say. but there is something about him that just aggravates me so much that i wanna go ape shit. first of all, the sheer audacity of this bitch is through the roof. He's all like “uwu how dare my older brother move out and leave all the responsibility to me?” i don’t know, maybe because he’s spent literal years putting up with verbal abuse from his parents followed by having to witness his own brother emulate the exact same toxic behaviour, not to mention the fact that he was literally told left and right by everyone, including YOU that he was a failure and a pushover and was no good as an heir, and the moment he’s not an heir it’s suddenly a problem to you? “our parents are kind to me”, bitch your parents’ love hinges entirely on your ability to perform offensive magic and being an obedient puppet you aint got shit to brag about. “if only someone was kind to me like this” GUESS WHAT? YOUR BROTHER FINRAL WAS KIND TO YOU THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME, HE DIDN’T SAY A SINGLE BAD THING ABOUT YOU EVEN WHEN YOU TREATED HIM AS NOTHING MORE THAN DIRT. just because you can't handle the fact that your entire self worth is dependant on performing a very specific set of skills/behaviours in order to gain approval of your family doesn’t mean you gotta take it out on finral who actually had the guts to get his ass out of that toxic family and in spite of his terrible upbringing made a conscious decision to remain kind to others. good god, go to therapy you stupid bitch. i honest to god hate the way tabata pulled the whole ‘finral is gonna try and step up his game to get his right as an heir back’. like no, my man aint got nothing to prove to these bitches, he’s too good for them. like why can’t we FOR ONCE have a character come to a realisation that their family aint worth shit and just stop chasing their approval, and yes i am looking an Noelle and the entire Silva drama (and no i don’t care for Nozel’s reasoning, he did a terrible job and him suddenly acknowledging that noelle is a strong fighter does not count as a redemption)

also what the fuck is the deal with golden dawn? the supposedly ‘greatest’ magic knight squad? these assholes barely even count as a squad, it’s just a bunch of classist cunts wearing coordinated outfits trying to pull the rug from under one another at every opportunity. i just fuckin hate them and i hate the way tabata decided to make their ‘approval’ of yuno into some emotional moment as if they haven’t been actively discriminating against him for better part of the year because of his social standing. as a result it also made their defeat at zenon’s hands feel kind cheap? like i know the story was supposed to tell me that i'm meant to be sad that they were defeated and half of them died or some shit, but i just couldn’t care less (also just to make things clear this rant excludes mimosa and klaus, and yes even tho klaus was being a cunt as well he did change his mind - although it was only after fighting by asta’s side but that’s a convo for another time). In general i feel like with the whole golden dawn situation the narrative really did yuno dirty is what i'm trying to say, you know? like he was being full on ‘im gonna get into the best squad’ and it's like you sure did my dude but, at what cost? Meanwhile, Asta who got into the ‘worst’ squad is straight up having the time of his life and once again you could argue that black bulls also barely count as a squad, but that’s because they legit refer to each other as family, and at this point we’re not even having a competition here.