#it gets so irritating when people *spoiler* talk about the last few eps of what Anthy does without understanding WHY she is doing it

[bronanlynch]

once again it's "what the fuck did I do this week" time

listening (podcast): there was a new episode of Media Club Plus this week. lots of good smart conversations, including Jack saying some incredibly insightful things about the music that I would never have noticed on my own

somehow forgot to mention the all-timer of a Palisade episode from last week, which was somehow completely blown out of the water by the even more all-timer of a Palisade episode that dropped this week. jesus christ. how do they keep doing it like this. the most recent ep is very special to me personally though, on account of how [MAJOR PALISADE EP 29 SPOILERS] my favorite character is back <3 and also everything about Dahlia was perfect to me. I genuinely think it's very good that most of the antagonists this season lean more into the evil of empire as something mundane & bureaucratic in a way that makes it more terrifying. however. I also love to see an antagonist who is evil in the more melodramatic, fucked up & twisted anime villain monologue kind of way

listening (music): the only music I listened to this week was so many anime openings & endings. there are many things that can be said about Persona 5 The Animation and also Persona 5 more generally but the music does slap. I realize this is a basic opinion but Rivers in the Desert is the boss battle music of all time tbh

reading: as usual, same two books as last week. Rule of Wolves briefly gets a lot more fun when other Six of Crows characters show up, reminding me that I would much rather be reading about Kaz than any of these other people. also, I'm once again irritated by the complete lack of worldbuilding around queerness. there are implications that Fjerda doesn't approve of lesbians, which makes sense since they're obsessed with maintaining rigid binary gender roles. but never at any point do we learn shit about like, queer culture anywhere, or what the situation is like in other countries

I'm getting near the end of Water Outlaws, which still fucking rules. the chapters I read this week had a bunch of fun stuff with strategy & siege defenses. and also as usual some sick fight scenes

watching: still keeping up with Bakeoff. I was legitimately surprised that Dan stayed on after his bread was barely edible but I am thrilled for Tasha getting star baker because I love her and everything she makes looks so good. also in general bread week is always one of my favorite because I often find the dessert concepts too sweet for my personal taste but I fucking love bread

forgot to mention that we watched the last episode of the Ahsoka show last week. this is because it was fairly forgettable and I was- well, disappointed is the wrong word because I didn't have any expectations but anyway. the fight choreography was so clunky and had a bunch of weird pauses, and if you're not going to give me good writing you better at least give me cool visuals, so that was unfortunate

watched another three episodes of Hunter x Hunter to keep up with Media Club Plus, and I'm realizing that I was not remembering incorrectly when I thought that I hadn't actually seen this bit because I have no fucking memory of any of this except the scene of Killua ripping a guy's heart out, which I distinctly remember being shown out of context (I started watching HxH with some friends who were already partway through the first arc, and then went back to watch the first few episodes later but I guess never got to where I started)(something pretty significant happened in the first episode I ever saw so I'll know when I get there). anyway. epic highs and lows of this show, Killua rips a guy's heart out of his chest, Gon makes some extremely clever observations, Kurapika is the most character ever, but also there's the transmisogyny

watched a little more Legend of the Galactic Heroes. I love it when the most important part of a space battle is alternating scenes between each faction talking about what they think the other faction's plan is. this is Television to me. also I'm just now realizing that the columns on the bridges of the Imperial ships are actual literal stone columns, which seems wildly impractical but also extra as hell

most of what I watched this week was, as previously mentioned, the Persona 5 anime, because we wanted to watch something that we didn't have to pay much attention to. it's not, like, a good anime (the pacing is wild, they don't do a great job compressing the story of the game into the limited runtime, the art does not look good, they refuse to pass up an opportunity for jiggling tits or an ass close-up, the ending is thematically incoherent because they refuse to commit to any specifics of what "improving society" actually means materially even more than the game does). however. that's not the point. the point is that Persona 5 contains some of my favorite characters of all time, and also we were watching the dub (I'd already seen the sub) specifically to hear Robbie Daymond as Goro Akechi in all his flirty glory and oh boy did he deliver. also the music fucks

because we watched all of P5A we watched significantly less Zeta Gundam. I still love Four very much (rip), and I am amused by the new villain squad of Scirocco, Mouar, and Jerid, even if I find Jerid incredibly uninteresting. like, I genuinely think the show would be better if he had died instead of Lila and we got to have her as the main rival instead. but also I generally wish there were more evil women who stuck around for longer instead of dying almost immediately (or getting completely dropped from the story? not sure what happened to Rosamia tbh but it would be cool if she came back)

playing: I'm now on the final case of Ace Attorney 5. love that it's Athena's turn to be on trial for murder, a very important rite of passage. I am intrigued by whatever Blackquill's deal is but more importantly I want to see Aura again. also I miss Apollo :(

also ran another session of my ongoing Blades in the Dark campaign. they stole a cursed object for a demon, a woman got partially turned into a bird, and one of the player characters got really into celebrity RPF. normal day in Duskwall

making: we started building Miorine so that Suletta can have her wife to keep her company, and were almost immediately thwarted by how annoying the face decals are. so instead here's Suletta watching over her mostly-unassembled wife

drinking: Stormalong's Light of the Sun fucks so hard. it's yuzu & jasmine and both of the flavors come through really well

writing: finished (?) the yuri//vain fic I've been working on but haven't posted it yet for normal reasons of I've stared at it for too long so now I'm convinced it's bad. it's fine, I'll get over that and post it eventually. however I did a lot of writing on other unrelated fics. for example, I continue to be having a normal one about Integrity Friendsatthetable:

also started another Great Ace Attorney fic because I am not immune to the concept of post-canon Kazuma & Maria roommates

[altruisticenigma]

I feel like we as a society do not talk enough or in depth about Anthy as a character and the abuse she experienced and in turn, how that shaped her character and her thoughts/feelings/motives.

And thus how she was not only treated by other characters, but by fandom as well.

It is super common for me to see people absolutely adore and love the sword-wielding lesbian, sweet and naïve Utena, but there is rarely any love, understanding or analysis of Anthy and her character- and quite frankly I think it comes from the large misunderstanding of her motives and how her motives were drawn from a place of trauma and abuse.

Anthy actually is my most favorite character from RGU hands down (I wrote a whole ass analysis on it), and it makes me sometimes frustrated to see how fandom treats her and continually misunderstands her.

It also is lowkey frustrating- and I’ll admit I write this from a place of projection- as a person with complex trauma. I felt like I related so heavily to Anthy’s complex and dark motives because trauma can do that to a person. When I see fandom treating her that way, or when I see how she’s continually misunderstood and alienated in the anime, it’s like… it’s a reminder of how society at a whole is not equipped to comprehend someone with a complex abusive background.

We humans only understand one another from our own perspectives, and find it difficult to truly empathize with someone with an experience we haven’t felt ourselves. We just see something and draw our own feelings and thoughts from it from our own experiences, not from a place of true understanding.

It’s just something I constantly think about. Ikuhara wrote such an amazing anime way ahead of its time for so many reasons.

[watchmegetobsessed]

The Hottest Avenger - Bucky Barnes

a/n: im warning you, i will probably not stop for a while with the bucky fics so... brace yourselves lol! also i wrote this before ep 5 came out so its placed in that time

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: TFATWS spoiler, some violence? nothing extreme

word count: 1.8k

summary: Being locked together with Sam and Bucky brings the worst out of you, picking on each other constantly. Following an arguement Bucky accidentally calls you his girlfriend in front of Sam when your relationship was supposed to be a secret.

masterlist

“Did you fucking eat the last dumpling?” you accuse Sam, holding up the empty takeout box where you thought were one more dumpling, one you’ve saved for yourself, but now it’s gone as Sam is eyeing you with his mouth full.

“Thought it was mine,” he mumbles, his words barely understandable from all the food in his mouth.

Taking a deep breath you’re trying not to jump at his throat right then and there. You’ve been locked up together all damn day in the trashy apartment across the street from the building where’s Zemo supposed to be hiding. Sharon had a tip about a possible place where he might be found, but you’ve been waiting to no avail for now. You’ve been growing stressed and impatient. You lost track of Karli and her people and now you can’t seem to find Zemo either. If it wasn’t for the Dora Milaje, you wouldn’t bother to be so after the asshole, but Bucky said if Ayo finds him first, he is dead and every useful information he holds goes to the grave with him so now you are forced to look for him. One failed mission has been following the other these days, that incompetent dickhead John is on the loose too after murdering that man in front of civilians and you feel like control has slipped out of your grip a long time ago. Now you’re stuck with Sam and Bucky in this crappy place, waiting by the window, watching out for Zemo and on top of everything… Sam ate your last dumpling.

Just when you’re about to snap at him, you feel a strong grip on your shoulder. You don’t have to look up to know it’s Bucky right behind you, but not just because he is the only other person in the room beside you and Sam, but also because you know his touch probably more than anyone. Only that most of the times it’s not your shoulder he is gripping…

It’s been going on for a long time between the two of you. Started with just some innocent flirting and you never thought it would grow into something more significant, but it did. And now you are officially in a relationship with none other than the Winter Soldier, only that no one else knows about it and you plan to keep it that way. You don’t need the teasing and jokes and the Avengers are known to be dicks sometimes, especially Sam.

Glancing up your eyes meet Bucky’s blue irises and he sends you a look that says “just let it go”, and though every fiber in you wants to whoop Sam’s ass, you let it slip.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna get mad about a dumpling,” Sam chuckles as he chews on the food that you should be enjoying right now.

“I can get mad about whatever I want to,” you growl back, growing quite irritated of him at this point.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he huffs under his breath, clearly not as bothered as he should be. Before you could do any harm in him, you leave your spot by the window, needing a breather from… well, from him.

“Hey, it’s still your turn!” he calls after you.

“I need a break,” you growl back.

“Get your ass back here, we agreed to switch every two hours!”

“Sam! I’m walking out because I’m way too tempted to punch you in the face right now!” you snap at him, losing your patience. He rises from his seat with a hard expression, not quite a fan of the way you just talked to him, but you couldn’t care less.

“You think you could actually throw one? Because last time we fought you couldn’t really get a hold of me,” he narrows his eyes at you, coming to stand tall in front of you, trying to intimidate you with how much taller and stronger he might be, but you both know you’re a better fighter.

“It’s easy to talk with your fancy tech stuff. Why don’t we see who wins in a simple battle?” you challenge him with faked boredom.

“Guys, stop. We should be looking out for Zemo, not tearing each other apart,” Bucky tries to end the staring contest, sticking his metal arm between the two of you in case any of you decides to launch at the other one.

“Then tell her to stop bitching!” Sam nods in your way.

“I’m not bitching, I’m just fed up with your bullshit!” you spat back at him, leaning closer, your chest coming in contact with Bucky’s extended arm.

“Don’t talk to her like that, Sam,” Bucky warns him, but Sam snorts dryly.

“Don’t tell me you are taking her side, she is throwing a fit for a fucking dumpling!”

“I’m not taking sides, just trying to settle this stupid disagreement here,” he defends himself and you roll your eyes.

“You can’t tell me she is not overreacting it, Buck!” Sam laughs in disbelief, taking a step back, dropping the act that he wants to fight you. He probably knows he would come out as a ridiculous loser. “This is fucking insane, I’m not in the mood to deal with your shit, Y/N,” he shakes his head.

“Hey!” Bucky snaps at him. “Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that, okay?!”

“I’m just—wait, what?!” Sam’s eyes widen and you freeze too.

Your dumbass boyfriend didn’t just out the two of you, did he? What else is about to come?! Sam’s shock turns into a cocky grin as his eyes shift between you and Bucky.

“You guys… you guys are fucking?” he asks with a delightful laugh and you close your eyes sighing, already tired of his shit.

“That’s not—We’re not fucking, I mean… It’s not like that,” Bucky stutters, but it’s just making it worse. He looks at you with terror in his eyes, but you are way too drained to deal with it the right way.

“Yes, we are fucking! And we are in a mature adult relationship! Get yourself over it!” you bark at Sam before turning around and walking out.

You faintly hear the two men talk inside, but you don’t make out the words. You don’t go too far, sitting on the steps leading up to the third floor. Soon enough you hear the door of the apartment open with a creak and a moment later Bucky shows up in your sight. He sits beside you, remaining silent for a little before speaking up.

“Sorry for running my mouth,” he mumbles, his head hanging low.

“It’s… fine,” you breathe out. Bucky fidgets with his fingers and you know he wants to touch you in any kind of way as a reassurance that it really is fine. You don’t want to hold a grudge, it was an accident, you’re just a little bummed it’s not gonna be just the two of you anymore. Reaching out you take his hand, the real one that’s flesh and meat and you lace your fingers together as he peeks at you, still reserved and hesitant.

“Is it really fine or are you just bottling it up?”

“It really is fine,” you chuckle softly and leaning closer you kiss his scruffy cheek. “The only reason I wanted to keep it a secret is because you know how vickery the guys can get. I just didn’t want them to pick on us.”

“They do it because they are just jealous,” he smirks playfully, his shoulder bumping against yours.

“Yeah? Of what?” A soft chuckle slips through your lips.

“That I scored the hottest Avenger,” he replies smugly and you can’t help but laugh with your head snapping back.

“I didn’t know you were fucking Thor!” you retort and immediately see his smirk vanish from his lips as he stares back at you, not enjoying your joke as much as you are.

“Thor? Really? Not this shit again, Y/N,” he narrows his eyes at you. Back when you were just skirting around each other, you loved pulling his leg, joking about how much you are into the hottest Avenger, aka Thor. He never appreciated it, usually earned you a tight-lipped smile before he mumbled “Tarzan’s got nothing on me” before walking away, leaving you laughing like a hyena.

“Come on, you know I’m more into super soldiers,” you grin, leaning closer as he pepper his sharp jawline with more small kisses.

“You know, it’s not the best thing to say to your boyfriend when there are now about eight more super soldiers running around,” he huffs.

“But none of them has a metal arm,” you point out, finally making him laugh.

“So that’s your kink? A vibranium arm?” he asks with faked shock and you curl your arms around his bicep, resting your chin on his shoulder.

“How haven’t you realized yet?” you chuckle. Bucky turns his head until his lips can capture yours in a sweet, lighthearted kiss that makes you forget about everything that’s been clouding over your mind these past days. All the failures, the mistakes and chaos fades into nothing, because you have him and he has you.

Walking back into the apartment Sam stares back at you, neither of you entirely sure how to act after what just happened. He then grabs his phone from the dusty table before holding it up.

“I could order some extra dumplings,” he offers and you crack a smile shaking your head. This was his peace offering, both of you knows he won’t straight up apologize for the way he talked, but this is already more than what you were expecting from him. Bucky must have had a few words with him before joining you outside.

“It’s all good.”

The three of you get back to work, taking your previous spots, returning to the task on hand as silence falls on the room once again. You catch Sam glancing at you and the Bucky and you can tell he is about to make a snarky comment on your relationship. And just as he is about to open his big mouth, Bucky moves to silence him, but you’re faster. With a simple move you throw Sam to the ground, keeping him down with your hand wrapped around his neck.

“Don’t even think about teasing, understood?” you hiss at him as he gasps for air, his hands wrapping around your wrist as he tries to fight you off, but you hold him a second longer to emphasize the importance of your words. Then you finally let go of him and he coughs for air, fixing him up from the floor as you simply walk back to your spot by the window.

“Hottest Avenger, huh?” he breathes out, revealing that he heard what you talked about out on the stairs. “More like the Avenger with the most anger issues…”

You just grin, glancing over at your boyfriend who is now standing with his arms crossed over his chest, not even bothered by his friend’s struggles on the floor as he smirks back at you, nodding proudly as if he was saying: “That’s my girl.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[edasnest]

Might you have any Raeda headcanons you'd be willing to share?

Oh shit I didn’t see that you sent this to me until now oh man.

But you better believe I’ve got some Raeda headcanons >:D

[Spoilers for Eda’s Requiem and Knock Knock Knockin on Hooty’s Door! Also a little bit of a character study regarding those eps lol]

Raine is constantly in awe of Eda. Eda’s desire to learn every kind of magic and buck tradition and societal norms sometimes leaves them breathless. When they were young, Raine always admired Eda for the clever pranks she’d pull using different kinds of magic despite being in the potions track. They also admired Eda’s boldness when it came to standing up for herself and her sister.

Eda found Raine to be interesting considering they were in the bard track despite their stage fright, but once Eda watched them perform and saw how they’d lose themself in the music was, no pun intended, magical. They had a fierce grip on Eda’s heart and she didn’t know why; she was fascinated by Raine and made it her goal to be best friends with this oddly shy bard (which she achieved pretty quickly).

After Eda’s curse caused her to unintentionally disable her dad, she was terrified of what it would mean if she was caught off guard like that again. So she started putting up walls. No stressful situations, no hard conversations, no sudden bright lights or loud sounds that she wasn’t the cause of. If she could be in control of her surroundings, she could control the Owl Beast. The elixir she’d discovered that could keep the curse’s side effects at bay helped maintain her sanity and her chill demeanor, but Raine was able to tell she was always slightly on edge. Raine knew about the curse; after Eda had transformed on the Grudgby field the first time everyone had been talking about it, but they didn’t know the extent of it. Everyone just said she’d turned into a monster and then fled; but what kind of monster?? But every time Raine tried to get more information about it, Eda would brush it off and change the subject. It broke their heart watching Eda brush off something that was clearly bothering her, and eventually it all came to a head. She was lying more and more often to Raine and they just couldn’t take it anymore. What happened to their best friend??? Why would she lie to them????? It was maddening and all the frustration and aching in their heart became too much. They needed to focus on something other than Eda. They weren’t nearly as bold as Eda, even after all these years, so they joined the Bard Coven in order to start teaching and building a career for themself. They’d happily welcome Eda back if she’d just tell them what was going on. But it never happened. Burying themself into their work and then, eventually, into the BAtTs helped keep the heartache at bay, but only sometimes.

Eda and Raine caught glimpses of each other as the years passed. They’d spot one another in the market or Raine would see a flash of unmistakable ginger hair dashing around a corner; sometimes they’d hear Eda yelling at some Coven guards and quietly hope she’d make her escape. Eda would occasionally see posters advertising a performance starring Raine; she’d either buy a ticket or sneak in just to listen to them play again. She could never stay for very long though because listening to them play made her heart hurt so much she’d be at risk of turning into the Owl Beast. Raine grabbed one of Eda’s wanted posters and keeps it hidden under some other paperwork in their desk, pulling it out sometimes and going over every detail of the artist’s rendition of her. One day, a new wanted poster came out - this one with a weird skull dog now part of the image and the bounty having increased significantly. Raine would always smirk whenever they saw the new version, although they were alarmed the first time they saw her drawn with all-grey hair. When had that happened? They weren’t that old yet, right??

The day Eda saved the BAtTs and figured out Raine’s secret was maybe the best day Raine had had in years. Their best friend was talking to them again, helping them with their plot. Raine didn’t bother pushing Eda about the last 20 years; their last conversation proved enough that Eda didn’t like it when people pried. But Eda had become not just older, but so much more kind and open. To a degree that sort of shocked Raine. When they asked Eda if she had nothing to lose and Eda took their hand, it was like they’d gone back in time. As if they were both 20 again and daydreaming about a world they’d create for themselves where covens weren’t there to shackle witches down and stage fright didn’t exist; where Eda’s curse never happened and they could stay there on that hill forever.

Eda of course was warring with her own emotions during all of this; she was under the impression that everyone in her life was leaving her again. And not because she was pushing them away this time, but of their own volition. She got her big sister back only for her to go back home to their parents after just a few weeks. She overheard King talk about leaving to find his dad and her apprentice - the first person to ever break down all of Eda’s defenses and show her how to love again - was constantly working on ways to go back to her own home. Eda would be left with Hooty and Owlbert and absolutely nobody else and that hurt so much more than she cared to admit. So when Raine showed up in the town square with their BAtT mask on, using their magic to turn some coven guards into bumbling fools, Eda was a little shell-shocked. The first person to leave her of their own volition was right there in front of her and needed help. So she helped them. And when she became invested in their plots to free wild witches, she felt like she was a teenager again, plotting out pranks with Raine in her secret shortcuts room at Hexside, blushing at every interaction they had because even after all this time, Raine was still Raine. Her Rainstorm. It was like she was starting over, like the last 20 years had faded away, except they hadn’t. Because Luz and King were competing in a race that she needed to be there for. Her past and her present were all different types of painful but finding Raine like this again gave her so much hope! Until she realized she wouldn’t see the end of that race, not if it meant stopping Belos. And she was ready for that, ready for the pain to just stop already, but Raine wouldn’t let her.

Losing Raine again was so much worse the second time. But what they said stayed with her and Eda needed to get back to King and Luz. So when she got back and discovered they’d lost, of course her first thought was to help them. Anything to take her mind off of what she’d just lost. And when King announced that he wasn’t leaving at all, he was legally changing his name? She was “stuck” with him forever? That was too much and she just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Someone wasn’t leaving her. In fact he was legally binding himself to her. No one was leaving, at least not any time soon. Eda definitely still cried more that night after King and Luz had gone to bed.

In the future, Eda and Raine agree to start from scratch: Eda explains the curse to them in detail, all the things she’s learned about it over the years and specifically with Luz and King and Hooty’s help. She explains that Lilith was the one that gave it to her to begin with and why (Raine is appalled like???? Raine specifically worked with Lilith in that last year before they had been made head of the Bard Coven?? And Lilith showed maybe irritation at best at the mention of Eda, so like?? What the fuck???). Eda also explains how she’s come to accept the curse as something that’s part of her and the history the Owl Beast has that she got a glimpse of which is super intriguing to Raine. Also Harpy Eda was a thing which was maybe the most surprising part of it all.

Raine in the meantime tells Eda about their time working their way up the ranks of the Bard Coven, how they met each of the BAtTs and recruited them, the façade they had to maintain to stay on track to become the head of the Bard Coven (something that greatly impressed Eda given Raine’s history with being an awkward actor).

Eda introduces Raine to Luz and King to which both of them start shooting rapidfire questions at them and overwhelm them pretty quickly. Eda has to shoo the two away before Raine just bursts out laughing, saying something about how they’re definitely Eda’s kids (all of them blush while Raine is laughing). Luz is just as fascinated with Raine’s Bard magic as Eda was when they first met and the similarities between the two are striking. Raine tells Eda as much later on and Eda begins gushing about what a great apprentice Luz is and everything she’s done during her time on the Boiling Isles.

They fall easily back into dating once they reconnect properly and everything’s calmed down a little - Raine will still be humming a piece they’re working on and suddenly grab Eda and begin dancing to the tune, Eda laughing the whole time and making their heart soar. Eda will still play with Raine’s earring when they’re cuddled up together just chatting. Raine will start asking Eda again for her opinion on musical pieces they’re working on and Eda will make suggestions along with some jokes or snide commentary. They both still love watching the clouds overhead on their hill, sometimes playing music, sometimes just holding hands.

Raine loves watching Eda interact with Luz and King. They love watching how easily Eda loves them and how much she’s changed since they first broke up. Once they’re alone together, in a moment total admiration for how far they’ve come, Raine tells Eda they love her. Eda immediately kisses them and starts crying, repeating Raine’s words back to them and mumbling about how she’ll never let Raine leave ever again.

A canon Non-binary love interest to a main character that uses They/Them pronouns??? In my kids cartoon???? It’s more likely than you think.

Anyways I fucking love Raine and I love how much Eda and Raine love each other and I can’t wait to see what ends up happening with Them™️

[averytinyelephant]

damn the heavens

Author’s note: This is my gift for @tog-secret-santa​! (This is my first time participating in an event for a fandom, and it’s been really fun, so thank you to the mods!!!) This gift is for @pi-a-ia��� (who’s art is amazing, go check it out!!). I tried incorporating all of your wishes in this fic, so I hope you like it! [Contains spoilers for the anime and anyone who hasn’t caught up to chapter 193 (Season 2, Ep. 113) of the manhwa.] Fandom: Tower of God (Read the Webtoon here!) Pairing: Khun Aguero Agnis/The Twenty-Fifth Baam

Summary: After the end of the Workshop Battle, Baam stares at the sky. Khun may not have the courage to chase the stars, but maybe he can carve Baam a path of light to reach them.

Gif credits to @edo-taichou​.

THE WINNING TEAM OF THE WORKSHOP BATTLE IS: TEAM SWEET & SOUR

There’s silence for one short moment. Then, an explosion of cheers.

Khun breathes a sigh of relief.

Finally, everything’s back as it should be.

—

There’s celebrations. Drinking, yelling, partying— Khun doesn’t really care for any of it. And from the looks of how he can hardly keep his eyes open, Baam doesn’t either.

“Baam, let’s go get some rest.” Baam blinks a few times at the proposal, likely not used to being called by that name again yet, but gives Khun a soft, grateful smile. “Okay,” he agrees simply, “please ask Rak-ssi too. He must be tired too.”

Khun clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes exaggeratedly at the mention of the gator, and it’s worth it for the bright peal of laughter it pulls from Baam. He agrees with a nod as Baam makes his way to their room.

They spread out a few blankets on the floor and gather three pillows to rest their heads. It’s makeshift and shabby, nothing like FUG’s luxury beds and the expensive bedsheets Khun can afford, and everyone’s still celebrating loudly in the other room.

All three of them are fast asleep in minutes.

—

When Baam wakes up, it’s to loud snoring and a heavy weight on his chest.

He blinks at the ceiling a few times before sitting up, gently sliding the still-snoring Rak off of his chest.

I… made it back.

He steals a glance at Khun wrapped up in his blanket. The way they both sleep suits them: Rak is splayed out and snoring open and carefree, Khun is turned away and closed into his blanket. Both of his hands are hidden under it as he holds the pillow under his head— does he still sleep with a knife in hand? His hair doesn’t look as disheveled as it should after sleeping for so long, so he must not have moved very much, which makes it possible that he does.

That... Baam feels a little twinge in his chest at that. What had Khun’s life been, before they met and these years they’d been apart, to make him so afraid? Suddenly, he wants to... Baam can’t really tell, but reach out, maybe, make Khun feel safe and happy— and wow, when did Khun get so close? Baam jerks his head back, pulling his hand from where it was about to land in Khun’s soft blue hair. Khun needs his rest, Baam decides, and he doesn’t want to wake him up.

He steps outside softly, checking his Pocket as he leans on the balcony and looks up at the false sky. He has a message from Endorsi that reads: Meet me at the gate by 2 PM. If you don’t, I’ll kill you.

Baam just laughs.

—

Shibisu and Wangnan drag everyone into the main room to play drinking games. Khun’s about to make his escape like the last time, but is dragged into it anyway when Baam asks him to stay, since it’s the last night before Shibisu’s team leaves for the next floor. That bastard knows what he’s doing right now, Khun realizes quickly: his eyes are shining with mirth after intentionally making a show of asking him to stay and play with them.

Khun sighs in defeat, sitting next to Baam on the floor in the crooked circle everyone’s formed. Baam gives him a bright, guileless smile and Khun suddenly has a very personal understanding of how much his own snark must irritate people (this, however, does nothing to curb how much he’ll be using it in the future). Khun’s not a fan of alcohol or getting drunk in general, and if he remembers right, Baam is a terrible lightweight. It doesn’t take much sleight of hand to swap the nearest bottle for a non-alcoholic substitute from Khun’s lighthouse.

Baam takes a sip and gives Khun a curious look, and Khun leans into him and whispers, “If I’m going to get dragged into this, I might as well get some good blackmail.” 

Baam giggles and nods at him in agreement when Wangnan interrupts loudly, “Viole! Khun! You want to share what’s so funny with the rest of us?”

Baam blushes down to his neck and violently shakes his head, and Khun takes the bottle from him to take a swig from it before answering, “I don’t know, have you managed to pick a game for us to play or did you gather us all here just to watch you argue until we all get drunk?” Wangnan deflates quickly and Baam has to quickly hide a snicker (“Seriously, Viole?!”) before Shibisu snarks back, “Do you have one to suggest then?” “Unlike you, I spend my time doing useful things, not drinking myself silly.” “He totally just can’t think of one,” Prince interjects with a sneer. Hatz adds, “Earrings is just too much of a coward to admit that he doesn’t have any friends to drink with.” “You want to say that to me again, Hara-kiri?” “Do your stupid earrings keep you from hearing me properly?” “If you want me to kick your ass that badly, you can just ask.” “Can’t you two just drop this for one night?”

They eventually agree on Truth or Dare, and while Khun does get the blackmail he was looking for, he (along with Goseng and Baam) gets stuck with the job of ferrying people back to their rooms for the night so that they don’t just stay passed out on the floor of the main room (at Baam’s request). Baam laughs at Khun grumbling as he’s stuffing a snoozing Endorsi in his lighthouse, and Khun delights in Baam’s yelp as he hops onto the side of his Blue Shield without warning, causing him to almost drop Prince and Ehwa. 

Khun has to admit, this was a lot of fun.

—

Baam asks Khun to help him cut his hair. Khun agrees. 

As Khun takes his long hair in hand, Baam sheepishly apologizes for not following Khun’s advice for talking proper care of his hair. It pulls a shocked laugh from Khun; he hadn’t remembered giving him that lecture at all until now, and he waves away the apology. 

“I’m sure you have plenty of good excuses,” he reassures, “but I’ll be holding you to it from now on.”

Baam smiles brightly, nodding so vigorously that Khun has to remind him to keep his head still and then stifle a laugh at his embarrassment. Baam’s hair smells like blood and screams and tears and loneliness, eight years too much of it to ever be washed out, and when Khun cuts off everything below his neck all in one go, Baam heaves a sigh of relief, one Khun guesses is the first in years.

After it’s done, Baam looks up at the false sky.

—

A month. It’s been a month since the workshop battle ended.

Baam came back to the us. We passed the test without any problems, and earned the right to go up to the next floor. Everything seems to have worked out well, but in fact, this is only the beginning. Emily disappeared from the Archimedes. Where could she be now and what is Cassano planning to do with her? And most importantly… where is FUG? They tried to set me up.

Apple, Micheal,… …and Rachel.

“I want to hear more stories about… what the Outside of the Tower is like.”

I won’t let them get away with this. Even if Baam tries to stop me, I will get her.

—

Baam’s late to the meeting Hwaryun scheduled. Khun teases him lightly about it, but Ehwa tells him later that she found him looking up at the false sky, some nonsense about a fairy tale someone told him about the sky.

“You must be glad,” Hwaryun taunts him, “Now, you have more time to find Rachel.” Khun only turns his head enough to meet her eyes.

“Did you think I wouldn’t know that you’re making a team to find Rachel, behind Viole’s back? The reason why you calmly accepted my suggestion was that you thought it would be a burden to go up the Tower with Viole right now, right?”

“You are trying to kill the girl who used to be your best friend’s everything. If Viole finds out, how will he act towards you?”

He makes an agreement to meet in a year at Train City, a smile plastered on his face. He hides his teeth, because the backs of them taste like lies. That’s to be expected: he’s been cut and carved from lies— he learned how to make and break trust before learning how to keep it, to hide the truth with locks and traps and smoke and screens until it damn well doesn’t exist anymore.

When he offers his hand to shake, it’s a calculated risk: he may be made of lies, but people trust you more if you seem non threatening and vulnerable. As Khun shakes his hand, he keeps his other hand in his pocket to keep the decks of cards he has hidden up his sleeve from slipping.

They fall anyway, because of course they do.

They always have, whenever Baam’s involved.

—

Khun feels his skin crawl restlessly like a billion tiny sweetfish swimming through all of his cells, only getting more intense with each step he takes towards his room. He looks out of the open hallway at the false sky, Hwaryun’s taunts coming to mind, and he’s filled with rage so white-hot and primal that it almost surprises him.

Baam’s still chasing after Rachel, he’s known that — he didn’t even need Baam to tell him to know that because he understands, he understands that Baam’s doing what he never did. Hwaryun’s probably allowing it because it gives her an excuse to force him to grow stronger for whatever purpose FUG needs Baam to fulfill, and she was right, he needed the extra time in order to—

She’d called him Viole, she’d called Baam her god. Khun’s almost as disgusted at her as he is at himself, but he’s never claimed not to be a hypocritical asshole.  

Khun knows that there’s forces much greater than him at play here; he’s made that mistake once: he’d believed that any floor test was simple enough to plan and slash his way through, he’d believed the Tower and all of its gods were small enough to contain in his hands.

He doesn’t care. He’d like to not ever have to hear that shit again.

False kings, false gods, false stars lighting up false skies — Khun’s sick of all of it.

—

Before they leave the Wolhaiksong resort that night, Baam checks his inventory to make sure he has everything he needs. He finds three large books he’s never seen before. They have similar fancy leather covers with elegantly minimalistic yet intricate engraving. They look like they’re very old, older than he can even imagine, he realizes on a closer look, since they look like that after being preserved with Shinsu. Out of curiosity, he opens one to a random page.

He’s faced with charts and diagrams of great clouds of light, explanations too dense for him to make sense of at the moment, but there’s lots of blue annotations in a handwriting that looks very familiar for one he’s never seen before. He opens the others to other random pages and finds that they’re all the same way, filled with the same familiar annotations in all kinds of colors, contrasting the old black print of the books. Baam realizes in awe that the books are about stars, pages and pages full of skies and stars, and they’re real.

”Stars are just a legend. Even if you go up, the only thing you’ll reach is this floor’s roof. That blue sky is created by shinsu, and the bright thing at night is just a light ball. I heard there are stars in the Outside world, but they don’t exist, at least, not here in the Tower.”

He can feel shock pricking at his eyes, and looks again at the covers of the book for a title, a name, anything—

and feels tears run down his face.

FROM THE LIBRARY OF KHUN EDUAN.

[magpieinthemorning]

Up next for rage blogging a netflix show as I watch it: Next in Fashion

- Omg everybody’s outfits and their personalities!!! <3 <3 <3 It’s really painful that every episode someone gets eliminated because they are all so amazing.

- Really hated Isaac’s attitude, though, and the dynamics that resulted from pairing him with Nasheli. She deserved so much better! She would have done so much better with another partner! It was extremely unfair to her.

- I especially loved Carli and Daniel’s pantsdress in ep 1 - I really wish I could wear it! :O

- Painful watching Hayley and Julian - he was such a character and I would have liked to see more of both of their work, but they just did not fit together. No surprise at all that the teams who know each other well and have worked together a lot already are the most successful. 

- In the streetwear competition, on a scale from 1 to 10, how racist was it that both of the teams chosen as the bottom two had the only Black women, and the only Black people left in the competition? In streetwear? Seriously? Bless guest judge Kerby Jean-Raymond. The show is edited and scripted to be extremely emotional (literally people are crying all the time, it’s fantastic), but at that point, when he decided to walk out, I truly felt it so much. Love him. Love Kiki and Farai, who are constantly being judged much harsher than the other contestants. Thankfully here the “nobody gets eliminated” move was used for good, and not to keep in boring old white guys like in Blown Away ... because there are no boring old white guys in this show! Yay! :D

UPDATE 1:

Ep. 5 - I’m not that interested in underwear, but I really enjoyed all the boxer shorts for the women’s looks. And Angel’s men’s look was amazing! I wish they would have shown it without the jacket. There was way too much focus on the made-up bra support issue. Women actually like to feel comfortable, and wasn’t it interesting that both of the all-women teams made bras without wires ... maybe because they know how uncomfortable that shit is?! So yeah ... :-/ To be honest it felt like a setup that the tops MUST have underwire and pushup. (That’s so 90′s though?) The judges didn’t ask Farai and Kiki’s model how she felt in it, like they asked one of the others, they just straight up decided to hate their creation because of the missing underwire. They acted so rude when they were looking closer at their design, the whole “What’s this?!” and pawing right under the model’s boobs. :/ Also I didn’t like Claire’s attitude and being angry that nobody was eliminated last time - so she’d have preferred if her own team was eliminated? And guess what ... 

Ep. 6 - Claire and Adolfo were eliminated, so maybe it taught her a lesson to not throw her own people under the bus? Or not ... I don’t know, it was somehow interesting how she stressed her Asian half at the end (in the speech about how she is still to be taken seriously even though she is small and half Asian), as if she wanted to distance herself from her Blackness, and look away from how racist the elimination process was? I may be reading too much into it - I’m also mixed race and really interested in how other mixed race people experience it. Still impressive that Claire and Adolfo got so far without having worked together before, if I’m not mistaken. Btw one of the judges went out of their way to compliment the unfinished edges on one look, while it had been so harshly criticized when Farai and Kiki did unfinished edges on the streetwear challenge. Sigh. All the looks in this challenge were really great, and I guess that says something about my own style ... \m/ 

I don’t know if I want to keep watching, because the judges are so irritating (sorry Tan :( ) and the elimination part is so stressful ... But I also want to see more amazing clothes and how these amazing people make them in such a short time!

UPDATE 2:

Ep. 7 - Nooo, Angelo ... It was totally fair that he was eliminated for his grave lack of technical skill, I just loved watching him on the show so much. Together with Charles they were unstoppable and complemented each other so well, but apart? ;___; Same with Carli, together with Daniel they were awesome. I could relate a lot to wanting to quit instead of finishing something half-assed. :/ So nice that other contestants were looking out for her. It felt a bit more relaxing to watch now, although the stakes keep getting higher and the contestants fewer, but it seems like they are being judged more fairly now that Anti-Black racism is off the table lmao ... Sigh, I’d really love to watch arts and crafts contests with only Black judges and contestants. + I adore Adidas and wear way too much of it, but cringe at Jo Aberg’s heavy Swedish accent, haha (I used to live in Sweden and way too many of them go around telling foreigners that Swedes don’t have an accent when they speak English *eyeroll*).

Ep. 8 - Daniel seems like such a genuinely nice and caring person, so it’s kind of okay that the white guy stayed in the game over the two Asian guys. Charles on his own was perhaps missing Angelo’s pizzazz ^^ ... I liked Marco and his stuff a lot, and it seemed a bit like a setup here, too, that they criticized his design for being “too costumey” (I kind of hate that word now thanks to this series) and he got thrown off, instead of just doing his thing the way he wanted it, regardless of whether he would be eliminated for it.  Kind of “pro wrestling” that Minju was so freaked out by the challenge and then she made the best look hands down. Loved it! Especially with the leather band/harness - I don’t get why they criticized it. Overall I was a bit disappointed in all the other looks, because I like a lot about military style, but very few except Minju used the kind of stuff that I like. I didn’t really like Angel’s look that much - the concept was amazing, but that coat seemed a bit awkward to wear and I’m a bit confused about why everyone liked it so much, but maybe I just don’t get that about fashion. Happy for her though! Many of her other looks have been really great. + Judge Elizabeth’s crooked tie drove me bonkers. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE FASHION WHEN YOUR TIE DOES NOT COVER YOUR TOP BUTTON. lol

UPDATE 3: SEMIFINALS

I’m happy for Minju and Daniel and can’t wait to see them in the finale! I liked Ashton’s looks so much! I’d love to wear the women’s top (and maybe I will try to sew something similar for myself :-p). Loved the reference to hakama - I thought he made all the right choices of what to adopt from the inspiration. A bit bummed that he got eliminated, especially since he was so community oriented when he talked about what it would mean for him to win.  I squealed when I heard Angel’s inspiration, Tibetan horse racing! Here I felt like the looks were a bit far off from the inspiration. But they looked so gorgeous. Maybe if she’d used the bleach lace pattern (on the edges for example) it would have been even more amazing. The women’s look was so great! Though I was a bit concerned about the crotch exposure :D Overall maybe Angel didn’t need the win so I guess it’s fine that she got eliminated. I’m a bit confused about why they were so in awe about Daniel’s looks. Both of the looks were really nice and clean, but I didn’t think they were all that interesting or innovative, and the message was a bit simplistic. And I literally made a similar quilt a few months ago, so I can’t really agree with the “it’s NEVER been done before” sentiments. I’m really looking forward to his stuff in the finale though! For Minju I felt the same, it was great, but I couldn’t really relate to how they thought it was so new and fresh. The men’s pant length would have surely gotten her eliminated if she’d been Black, haha. Can’t wait to see what she makes in the finale - I’ve loved almost everything she did so far.

UPDATE 4: FINALE!!!

OMFG MINJU!!!!! YAY!!!!! Aaaaah, her collection was so beautiful and fun! And all women’s looks! It was so nice!  It was so nice that Minju’s sister also realised that she had held Minju back creatively and that it was wrong to do that. I didn’t read spoilers about the ending, and kept nervously thinking that it wouldn’t surprise me if Daniel the white guy won the entire competition, but then Minju won and Daniel was so happy for her! <3 <3 <3 I cried so much!

[dreamingofscully]

MOMENTUM - CHAPTER 1

(READ CHAPTER 2)

Rating: Mature (ch 1), Explicit (ch 2) Length: ~12k words Classification: M/S RST, Angst, Post-Ep for En Ami and spoilers through Chimera and all things Summary: Scully’s choices lead to some unintended consequences for herself and her relationship with Mulder.

Thank you to my betas! @sarie-fairy​​ @scullyeffect​​ and @o6666666​​ for the machete betas and @suitablyaggrieved​​ @starbuckthirteen​​ and @unhappybrthday​​ for the feedback. Definitely could not have done it without you.

Tagging @today-in-fic and @kega-umi.

(Read on AO3)

*** FRIDAY SPENDER’S FORMER OFFICE

“He knows what that science is worth, how powerful it is....He'd let nothing stand in his way.”  - Mulder

“You may be right... but for a moment, I saw something else in him. A longing for something more than power. Maybe for something he could never have.” - Scully

Scully wishes she could claim possession, body-snatching or any sort of ridiculous idea besides the one that she simply did something stupid. Mulder stands in front of her, arms braced on the doorway, waiting for a reasonable explanation. Why did she believe Spender? Why is she trying to paint him in a more sympathetic light? She thought she was doing the right thing at the time, but looking back she can’t believe she was so foolish. The silence stretches between them, his eyes filling with disappointment as he turns and walks away, leaving her standing in the empty room. 

Looking for some tangible proof of Spender’s presence, she scans the room one last time. Wonders why she’s even bothering since proof won’t give her the answers she needs. All of their experiences with him showed that he was nothing more than a liar, manipulating people for his own personal gain and twisted pleasure. Scully’s smart but she’s never been good at deception. Why did she think she could out-wit the man whose entire life was built on lies? Finding nothing in the room to ease her conscience, she reluctantly follows Mulder to his car. 

The last time she could remember this amount of tension between them was when Scully had voiced her suspicions to Mulder about Diana. They never talked about the hurt they’d caused one another back then, but that was their usual M.O. - never speaking about what mattered. Getting back to the X-Files, the foundation of their partnership, repaired the damage they'd inflicted upon one another. Shortly afterwards, they took the next monumental step in their relationship, finally admitting the feelings they had for one another and becoming lovers. It made the issues they argued about seem unimportant, at the time.

Mulder drives her home without even sparing her a glance. His inattention is glaringly unfamiliar. A few times, Scully opens her mouth to say something but changes her mind, each justification sounding inadequate. She’s utterly disappointed in herself. 

Finally, he pulls up outside her door, leaving the motor running. Needing to say something before leaving she undoes her seatbelt and turns to face him.

“Mulder--”

“Not now, Scully. Just get out.” He doesn't meet her gaze. There’s tension in his shoulders, barely concealed rage simmering just under the surface.

Not moving, she steels herself for his anger. She still has some hope of reasoning with him but before she can say anything else, Mulder turns to look at her. Instead of fury, she sees pain and vulnerability and her heart clenches in her chest. He thinks she betrayed him and from the outside that’s exactly what it looks like, exactly what Spender intended. Was that another motive - to put a wedge between them? 

Suddenly he’s left the car and is walking around to her side. He wrenches open her door and waits impatiently for her to get out. As she exits the car and reaches for him, he avoids her touch and goes back to the driver's side like he’d drive away whether she shut the door or not.

“Mulder, I was wrong to go with Spender but I think that might be what he intended all along, to make you doubt me. Call me when you’re ready to talk. Just know I’m sorry, and I love you.”

Scully waits, hoping he'll turn towards her and acknowledge her words. 

“Shut the door.” He doesn’t spare her a glance.

When she closes the door between them, his car peels out of the parking lot, leaving Scully at the curb to watch Mulder drive out of sight. She doesn’t remember the walk to her apartment, her head filled with fury and regret.

*** MONDAY FBI HEADQUARTERS

Scully walks down the hallway to their office, her heels clicking in an urgent, staccato rhythm, mimicking her fluttering heartbeat. He hadn’t called over the weekend, and despite not knowing his state of mind, she’s eager to see him. While they don’t spend every day together, it was rare a day went by that they didn’t at least speak on the phone, talking about anything and nothing. She misses their connection in a way that makes her feel weak and unsure, a foreign and unwelcome sensation. Taking a deep breath, she brushes her sweaty hands on her skirt and prepares a hopefully normal-looking smile on her face as she opens the door. 

Instead of a brooding, grumpy partner, she finds an empty office.

There’s no note on either of their desks. She double checks the door for a message - nothing. Concerned, she boots up her computer and scans her email. Nothing. Her cell phone is charged and there were no messages on her answering machine, she triple-checked before she left that morning.

Even though her instincts scream at her that he might have gone and done something impulsive and stupid, Scully takes a few deep breaths and forces herself to trust him. Calling him will only piss him off even more if, as she suspects, he’s only trying to avoid her a little while longer. He’ll be here. She’ll give him thirty minutes.

The time seems to pass interminably. She’s constantly checking the clock and reopening her email. Wondering if the computer system is down, she’s about to call tech support when the new email icon pops up on her desktop. Her heart leaps in her chest and she’s irrationally angry when it’s not him. She tries to work away at the long list of things she means to do but never has the time for but her eyes keep wandering to the clock. The reports on her desk remain unopened.

Twenty-five minutes. That’s close enough. She calls his home, but he must have turned off his answering machine. And he doesn’t answer his cell. 

Panic sets in.

Not knowing what else to do, Scully dials the number for Skinner’s office, chewing on her lip while she waits to be connected.

“What is it, Agent Scully?” His irritation makes her more nervous than usual, reminding her of the many, many times Mulder did something to annoy him.

“Sir? I, um, wondered if you had any idea of Mulder’s whereabouts?”

Silence for a few beats.

“He’s in St. Louis, helping with a profile. Left yesterday night. You’re unaware of this, Agent Scully? I thought you went with him.”

Scully massages her forehead, suppressing a sigh. “No, I... um... had stuff to do here. He must have forgotten to let me know. Sorry for bothering you, sir.” 

Scully tries Mulder’s cell again but it disconnects after one ring. So, that’s how it's going to be. Annoyance begins to creep up at his avoidance, but she tamps it down. She’s more worried about the toll that profiling will take on him. Since she’s not his favorite person right now, she fears her presence would only distract him, making the process take longer rather than providing any help. If they needed a pathologist, Mulder knew where she was.

Straightening her back, Scully forces herself to concentrate and get back to work. It’ll be a long few days alone in their basement office, but perhaps she can take advantage of his absence and catch up on reports and paperwork. Calmed by the practicality of her thoughts, she dives into the neatly stacked piles of work on her desk, determined to put her emotions aside until she’s able to talk to Mulder about it. 

*** FRIDAY

The rest of the week passes incredibly slowly without Mulder there to keep her company. When Scully tries to find out any information on his profiling case, thinking she could help from a distance or find an excuse to join him out there, she’s rebuffed. She almost takes the rejection personally but dismisses the irrational thoughts - not everything is about her. 

The anger she feels towards Spender grows with each day of Mulder’s absence, each day he refuses her call. She knows that this entire charade was intended to not only help Spender acquire something dangerous but to create doubt in her partner’s head about her. Once he gets back, she’s sure things will be fine, but the work doesn’t hold her interest without him there to distract her from it.

Speaking of distractions... Scully reaches for the office phone and hits redial, reaches Mulder’s voicemail.

“Mulder, it’s me. I’m not going to apologize again, you’ve already heard all that. I still can’t give you a good explanation. Just… I guess I just saw an opportunity for something and decided to take a leap. I know it wasn’t the best time to do that but, there you have it. Call me. Please. I’m worried about you out there.”

Scully hangs up the phone, taps on the receiver. She hates not knowing, hates not being about to do something. Needing to do something, she picks up the phone and dials Skinner’s extension. 

A few perfunctory minutes of updates to him on her progress in the office over the past week and Scully gets to the real reason for her call. 

“Sir, I was hoping for an update on Mulder’s case in St. Louis?” She tries to sound casual and unconcerned.

In the momentary silence on the other end of the receiver, she imagines Skinner’s brows knitting together. She swears under her breath, sure he would find it unusual that she was asking him, rather than speaking to Mulder directly.

“Uh... I just spoke to Agent Mulder. He’s due back tomorrow.” A pause. “Is everything okay, Agent Scully? Is there a reason you haven’t spoken with him yourself?”

“No, not at all. I-- um...that’s all I needed from you. Goodbye, sir.” 

Tomorrow, then. Scully smiles softly, nodding to herself. He’ll be home and she can help him with whatever consequences arose from the case in St. Louis, relieved she can finally take action.

*** SATURDAY MULDER’S APARTMENT

The rumbling of thunder and flashes of lightning accompany Scully as she strides down the hallway to Mulder’s apartment, shaking droplets of water from her raincoat. The fading light bulbs and sparse indigo light from the window at the end of the hall paint everything in shadowy illumination reminiscent of evening, though it's midafternoon. She knocks on his door, biting her lower lip. Strangely nervous about seeing him after so long.

She hears the lock opening and suddenly he’s in front of her. He hasn’t opened the door completely but the few inches of Mulder that she sees causes her to smile foolishly. 

Oh, how I missed him. 

“Hey,” she says. Her delight spills out before she notices his appearance. He looks like he’s been to hell and back - he hasn’t shaved in at least a week and there's dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. 

“Oh, Mulder…” 

Scully reaches for him, but before she can get close he flinches and pulls away from her, still holding the door partially closed and blocking her entrance. She’s dismayed at his reaction but tells herself it’s not about her.

“Now isn’t a good time.” His voice is strained. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been a week… I thought we could get dinner and… talk?” At his blank stare, she continues. “Are you ok?” She places a hand on the doorframe and checks him over more closely.  

“I don’t think you being here is a good idea,” he says, his gaze hardening under her inspection. 

Confused at his rejection, Scully takes a deep breath, trying to think of something to say to bridge the gap between them.

“Is this about Spender?”

Mulder’s eyes suddenly flare with unbridled fury. His jaw clenches and his grip on the door tightens. Scully’s not sure what’s worse, the intense anger or the emotionlessness. He stares past her into the hallway. 

“Why on earth would you bring him up, Scully?” He asks this quietly, but she feels the force of his anger with every syllable. 

“Mulder, I didn’t mean--”

"What didn't you mean?" Mulder interrupts, yanking the door open and leaning closer but further blocking her entrance. His entire body rigid. "To take off with a man who's lied and worked against us for years? Who gave you your disease, who took so many things from the both of us?”

"I told you why I went, what he told me." The reason sounds feeble as soon as she voices it, unprepared to defend herself. She’d come to support him in the aftermath of profiling a horrific case, only he seems more upset over her actions from a week ago. .

Mulder’s eyes flash at her again. "And look what it got you. Nothing. Less than nothing. I was so worried about you.” 

The care she tried to take when she left with Spender ended up being completely worthless. Of course Mulder worried about her. What he must have thought? 

He continues, hands gripping the doorframe. “He could have done anything he wanted and you played right into his hands. And I still don't understand. You've always been the one telling me not to trust others, then you take off with the worst sonofabitch--"

Sheets of rain pound against the window, and dangerous crashes of thunder punctuate Mulder’s furious words, cutting off the last part of his sentence. Scully tries to hold his gaze, to tell him with her eyes what she can’t seem to express with her words. She can’t stand how he’s looking at her any longer and glances out the window at the storm. 

Flashes of light illuminate the hallway as she turns back. Long shadows drape Mulder in half-light. His face is both dark and light at once and while she desperately tries to focus her thoughts into coherence, he’s sinking back into his darkened apartment.

"Mulder, I tried..." The rest of her words shrivel under the weight of her mistake. She didn’t need to repeat herself and he didn’t seem to want to accept, let alone believe, her motivations the first time. A week apart didn’t lessen his anger. Her chest tightens. "I don't know what else to say."

"I don't think I really know you." Mulder’s voice breaks, sharpness replaced by vulnerability.

The statement breaks her heart. She knows how much trust means to him, that for years now she’s been the only one he can count on, who never tried to manipulate him. She's always been his exception. He trusted her implicitly because she’s never had an agenda. Have her actions forced him to doubt her? 

He has no one else. Of course he would react this way. 

She composes herself before speaking again, feeling like she’s traveled back in time, needing to convince him that he could trust her again.

"You do know me. It was a mistake. A terrible mistake, but that's all it was. It's me." She longs to reach out and grab his hand to emphasize her point, but his earlier reaction makes her hesitant.

Mulder’s eyes close and his shoulders slump, weariness and defeat written on every inch of his frame. He inches the door shut, withdrawing from her completely. 

"Mulder, please…" She’s desperate but has no idea how to reach him, convince him her intentions were pure. It’s like the idea of her betrayal has buried itself so deeply within him there’s nothing she can do to convince him otherwise. 

“No. I can’t do this right now.” He pulls away, shutting the door firmly between them.

She hadn’t expected this. Needing some sort of connection no matter how tenuous, she reaches out and lays her hand on the door, the smooth wood-grain surface under her palm an ineffectual replacement. She stands there for longer than she should, her breath shallow, emotions swirling within her. 

A boom of thunder shocks her out of her bleak thoughts, forcing her hand from his door and her steps towards the elevator. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him this mad at her for so long. She manages to get to her car and drive home, heedless of the rain soaking her to the skin.

*** MONDAY, THE FOLLOWING WEEK FBI HEADQUARTERS

Worried when Mulder’s late for work on Monday, Scully wonders if she’ll have a repeat of last week. When he shows up she’s relieved, despite his rumpled suit and tired eyes. Mulder is distant but at least they’re speaking to one another, giving Scully hope that they can fix whatever happened between them. 

They work separately on old case reports and Scully tries to take comfort in the routine. However, Mulder’s dark mood is a thick fog between them, making their progress feel sluggish and their attempts at communication heavy and awkward. She wishes she could give him some measure of solace, comb her fingers through his hair, hold him at night until he falls into an easy slumber. Guilt cuts through her concern, presses heavily on her chest. It was her own actions that placed her here, preventing her from being able to give him comfort.

Regardless, he's talking to her, which she takes as a step in the right direction.

The week passes and Scully’s optimism dwindles. She almost forgets about their estrangement until he shies away from her touch, doesn’t meet her gaze, and refuses to banter or joke and she's struck by the remoteness of his presence. It’s like she's been reduced to a tolerable acquaintance rather than his closest friend and lover. 

They’ve never been good at talking about personal things. Scully could probably recount on one hand the rare times they spoke openly about their relationship or feelings with one another. How can she start a conversation with him about when it’s just not something that they do?

Thoughts of her sister emerge more frequently. Scully misses her acutely, the pain of her death like a fresh wound. Was it this hard all those years ago? Missy was so good at knowing what to do when it came to people. Instead of speculating about what her sister would say, Scully embraces her strengths and gets back to work, what brought her and Mulder together in the first place. She takes some comfort in simply having him nearby, witnessing the brilliance of his mind. If they’ve taken a step back in their relationship, she can’t deny that she wouldn’t trade her partner for any other.

*** FRIDAY FBI HEADQUARTERS

“There’s been some tension between my partner and I this past week and I can’t figure out how to get past it. Or if we even can.” Scully chews on her bottom lip, finding it difficult to voice her concerns aloud.

Karen Kosseff, the FBI counselor she’s talked to off and on over the years, sits across from her in her small office. She’s silent, calmly waiting for her to continue.

Scully clears her throat. “I made a mistake, a pretty serious one, that might have made him question my loyalty.”

“Were you disloyal to him?”

“No, never." Scully answers immediately. “I did something reckless, something that made him worry about me. But now he’s just upset, won’t talk.”

“You’ve been partnered with Agent Mulder for…” Karen consults the file in front of her. “Seven years now? That’s quite a long time to be paired with someone. But you feel this is different than the usual ups and downs one would expect in such a long-term relationship?” 

“Before--” She interrupts herself before accidentally revealing too much. “We’ve had arguments before, but never anything that prevented us from continuing our work normally. Even if we don’t talk about it, we generally push on like nothing’s happened.”

“And do you think that’s an effective way to communicate?”

“Probably not.” Her mouth turns up in a self-deprecating smile. She’s always been comfortable with not talking, not revealing her innermost thoughts. It was always easier to keep things hidden, but she knows deep down that it’s always led to trouble. “But anything would be better than what’s going on now.”

“From our past meetings and from reading your file I can see you two have weathered a lot in the years you’ve been together. That can take a serious toll on anyone.” Karen’s compassionate voice always seems to seep through her walls. She forgets each time how easy it is to open up when she’s here.

“I know this. And I think maybe what we’re going through now might be a continuation of things we’ve been through. I just wish I knew what to do.” Scully’s voice cracks, she feels tears threatening. Bowing her head as she closes her eyes, she tries to remain in control for long enough to say everything she needs to.

“Is there something else bothering you?”

Scully whips her head up to look at Karen. How does she do that? “I, um… I can’t talk to him about this--” 

Karen tilts her head, waits.

“Something happened to me, when I… made my mistake. I don’t really know what. I’m scared to find out. But if I told him--” Scully breaks off to press a hand to her mouth, feeling hot tears spill out over her cheeks, but she forces herself to continue. “It would make what I did so much worse.”

Scully has tried not to think about what Spender did to her while she was unconscious. It was easier to be angry with Spender about the disc and his lies, to be concerned with Mulder’s feelings and how she could help him. 

Karen doesn’t speak for several minutes, offering Scully a box of tissues. Her voice is concerned when she breaks their silence. “What are you scared of, Dana?”

“Of the possibilities. Of the consequences of them. Maybe I’ve made more than one mistake. This is just the last one in a series, and I can’t go back to how it was before--”

Karen raises her eyebrows at her pause.

It was so difficult to separate herself from their new relationship, maybe that was one of the problems. Taking a deep breath, and changing the direction she’d been heading. “I think I always prided myself on acting as Mulder’s ballast, the person who grounds him. I feel like I’ve failed in that regard, and I think he sees it that way too. Maybe that’s what is most upsetting, not what I did but how outside of myself the mistake was.”

“Do you feel like he holds you to unreasonable standards?”

“I don’t think so.” Crumpling the tissue in her hands, breaking it off into little pieces, Scully sighs before continuing. “I think if I give him time, things will work out. Sometimes we take a while to get moving, so to speak.”

***

It’s not usually until much later that Scully feels better after a session with Karen. Uncomfortable truths come to the surface, harmful things she realizes she’s been doing and needs to change. Knowing and doing, though, are two entirely different things. Even if she knew how to get him to speak with her, she doesn’t know if she has the strength to open up to him, to tell him everything. 

Instead of worrying about what to do with Mulder, Scully dives into work with an obsessive meticulousness. Not only does she work on finishing case reports, she consults with other agents outside the X-Files on their cases and starts research on a new paper about a case from a few months back. Outside of work, she starts a new training regimen, hoping she’ll be marathon-ready if the opportunity ever arises. The addition of all of these activities leaves her exhausted at the end of each day, falling into a restless sleep late at night and waking just in time to start the next morning. 

Sometimes the flurry of her day isn’t enough to keep her mind from wandering before unconsciousness takes her. These nights are the hardest. Despite spending most of the day with Mulder, and even though they didn’t spend every night with each other before their falling-out, she’s lonely. When she misses the warmth and solidity of his body around hers, she’ll find momentary release from her recently retired vibrator. Pretending he's here, that he's touching her, that things are back to normal. After her orgasm she feels the emptiness of her bed even more acutely - it’s not his body or her pleasure that she misses most, but the intimacy of his presence.

Scully’s mood shifts after a few weeks of her busier schedule. She’s easily angered and it’s increasingly difficult to hide her emotions. The incessant cracking of Mulder’s sunflower seeds grates on her nerves and she finds herself leaving the office more frequently as well, refusing to take out her anger at its intended target. Skinner and the rest of the agents in the building avoid her whenever they hear the tell-tale sound of her strident heels in the halls. 

***

It’s been just over three weeks since Mulder’s return from St. Louis and four weeks since they’ve had a friendly conversation. Scully finds herself in the office alone, reviewing a forensics report for a fellow agent, a favor she’s been meaning to return. Mulder’s jacket sits on the back of his chair, empty seed shells littering the desk and the floor around it. He’s off doing God knows what and she doesn’t bother asking where he’s going anymore, since he only responds to her questions with single-syllable grunts. She’s irritated at Mulder’s presumption of her availability, and his continued neglect of their relationship. What relationship?

When the phone rings, she considers not answering. She’s uncomfortable with negligence of duty, no matter how small, compelling her to pick up after a respectable three rings. 

“What?”

“Er, Agent Scully, I was hoping to discuss the case reports you and Agent Mulder just turned in.” 

Scully bites the inside of her cheek and closes her eyes, attempting to keep her annoyance at bay. With the extra time she and Mulder seem to have nowadays, the reports are some of the most comprehensive ones they’ve ever turned in. She feels like this conversation is a giant waste of time, but Skinner’s her boss, so she suffers through his questions.

Scully hangs up the phone as Mulder enters their office reading a file, not acknowledging her presence. She studiously ignores his silence and goes back to her report.

Almost  an hour later, Scully looks up from her reading, surprised to find that so much time has passed. When she looks over at Mulder, she meets his gaze and blinks in surprise.

“Do you need something, Mulder?” Scully raises her eyebrows and feels her mouth start to twitch upwards in a smile. Warmth floods her chest at his unexpected attention.

Mulder shakes his head and reaches for a report, opening it and ignoring her.

Her anger spills out, and she doesn’t hold it back this time. “When are you going to stop punishing me?” 

“Once I feel you can be trusted to not run off with the next guy who promises you something.”

Scully’s eyebrows knit together and her mouth drops open in shock. Before she can respond, Mulder grabs his jacket and leaves without another word. Her hand rises to her mouth and she closes her eyes, feeling the force of his words like a punch to the gut.

He won’t even speak to me about what’s bothering him, yet feels the need to make condescending remarks? 

She stares at the office door, wishing he’d return so she could tell him where he could shove his idiotic petulance.

When he doesn’t come back, Scully finds it difficult to concentrate. She leaves early and heads to the gym for a punishing training session before heading home. Rewarding herself with a few glasses of wine and a decidedly non-romantic movie, she manages to sink into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Scully’s running late, dreading another confrontation but knowing she should say something. Mulder’s sitting at his desk with coffee for the both of them.

“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, Scully.” 

She’s surprised at first, stares at him. He’s avoiding her gaze, buried in a report. As she waits for him to continue, he turns his chair around and sorts through some files behind his desk.

That’s it?

After he left the office yesterday, she was determined to finally speak frankly but after his weak apology she’s reluctant to cause another argument. 

A night of stewing in her anger left her emotionally drained and pessimistic about being able to work things out with him. Every time she tries to talk, her mouth goes dry and a weight presses heavily on her chest. 

Why is it so difficult to know what to say? 

Frustrated at her inability to express herself, she resumes work without another word. They exist in the same office, worlds apart.

*** WEDNESDAY, THE FOLLOWING WEEK ABANDONED WAREHOUSE SOUTHEAST WASHINGTON, DC

“Well, good work, Scully. I'll call you back later.” - Mulder

Scully rolls her shoulders and stands, irritated at his abrupt goodbye. The conclusion of the case re-energized her but now she feels exhaustion creeping back. Despite her tiredness, she can’t help thinking about Mulder and this damn surveillance. She feels abandoned. While she’s left to pursue something not even worth their time, he scampers off to investigate a real X-File on his own. Maybe he realizes he doesn’t actually need her after all.

They’d become automatons. Mulder doesn’t talk to her about any new cases, they just work on tying loose ends and finishing reports. She wonders if he disappears on weekends to investigate things on his own instead of calling and pestering her to join him. She regrets her feigned annoyance back then, that she never really told him how much their time together meant to her. 

Her shoulder twinges, sore from sitting too long. A tumultuous combination of anger and dread builds within her. Aside from the time she went to his apartment, or the time he told her off, he won’t talk about what happened and as the days pass it gets harder for her to confront him about it. She doesn’t know how to fix their relationship if he won’t even acknowledge its presence. It’s bewildering that he can give up on them so easily - all the things they’ve done for each other over the years and he can just cast her off? Maybe she had everything wrong from the beginning, that the intensity of her feelings for him have always been one-sided.

At home, Scully peels off her clothes and stands under the lash of a hot shower until her skin is pink and raw. Unbidden, the tears start to flow, merging with the sluice of water flowing over her body. She was so preoccupied with her rage that this new emotion takes her by surprise. She only notices it once the sobs cause her to double over as she struggles to contain them. 

The combination of steam and grief starts to make her feel dizzy. Stumbling out of the stall, she sits heavily on the floor, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around herself.

She doesn’t notice the cold air causing her to shiver violently. She’s oblivious to her wet hair plastered to her head and neck, thick droplets cascading to the floor and pooling underneath her, making a wet mess on the cold tiles. 

Her awareness consists only of the overwhelming grief and painful pressure of her hands pressing against her eyes in a futile attempt to stop the emotions overtaking her.

All this time… the idea that their relationship had meant nothing to him, even after everything he’s said and done. The hold he’s had over her for years, thinking that it was only a matter of time. Never that it would come to an end almost before it even began. All her fears and vulnerabilities she’s bottled up these past few weeks spill over, shaking her to her core. She recalls the nagging but easily-ignored feelings that their happiness couldn’t last. Those minor twinges and paranoid notions suddenly seem so undeniably monstrous and real.

She’s not sure how long she sits crumpled there on the floor. Her ass is numb and she’s shaking uncontrollably with the cold by the time she comes back to herself. She’s stiff from the awkward position she’s been sitting in and the tension of her emotional outburst. Drying herself off and slipping into warm flannel pajamas, she heads to her darkened bedroom. Her head hits the pillow and she envelopes herself underneath her quilt, her grief waning into bruising emptiness as she falls into an exhausted slumber.

***

Hours later, Mulder comes to her apartment and lets himself in, pausing at the doorway before heading to her bedroom. He stands at the end of the bed and stares at her sleeping form for several minutes, a bleak expression on his face. He moves closer, carefully tucking the blanket around her, brushing a trembling hand over her curling hair, gently kissing the patch of skin peeking out from the collar of her pajamas. Leaning towards her, he studies her sleeping form  for a few more minutes before leaving, regret and an awakened determination in his eyes.

END CHAPTER 1 ------- (READ CHAPTER 2)

[nikibogwater]

Niki Blethers about The Mandalorian S2: ep 7

Spoilers below the cut!

*inhale*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DANK FERRIK THIS WAS THE EPISODE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR HOLY CRUDMUFFINS

I said last week that the series has been struggling to hold my interest this season. I haven’t been super active in the fandom, and I was just overall a lot less invested in the characters/plot than I was for season 1. I was never quite able to pinpoint exactly why until this episode.

The reason I started losing interest in the show was because the show had started losing interest in Din. For several episodes, the plot was mainly focused around finding the Jedi, learning about the Force, uncovering all these Imperial baddies. The show was always at its most interesting to me when the typical Star Wars stuff took a back seat to Din’s personal story, and this season was not letting that happen as often as I would’ve liked. 

But with “The Believer,” everything is solidly fixed on Din and his personal goal: get his son back. It also takes a good hard look at Din’s Creed and the Way of his tribe, which is a unique and interesting aspect of Star Wars lore that I’ve been slavering to learn more about. 

I’ve seen a lot of people saying they want Din to abandon his religion, take off his helmet and be “free” or whatever, and while I understand that there are definitely religious sects out there that champion very toxic and damaging ideas, Din’s Way never felt either of those things to me. It is centered on personal sacrifice for the protection of your tribe and your honor, but at no point was it ever implied that Din was forced into this, or that he regrets swearing the Creed. He even says that nothing bad happens to you if you break the Creed--you just can’t ever take it up again once you’ve made that choice. “Sanctuary” implied that there are times when he is tempted to leave it behind and live “normally,” but he chooses to resist that urge of his own volition, because he believes in the importance of what he’s doing. 

There has been a lot of helmet-removal foreshadowing in this season, and I was starting to get very concerned about the direction the writers were going in regards to Din’s Creed. I am absolutely 100% completely biased as a religious person myself, so this probably isn’t an objective viewpoint, but I think as long as your beliefs do not require you to intentionally harm other people (either physically or emotionally), it should be socially acceptable for people to believe whatever they choose. To practice any traditions they like, even if they seem weird and restrictive, as long as they are doing it by their own choice. I know this is hard for a lot of people to believe (especially in this country) but many people find a somewhat ironic sense of fulfilment in making personal sacrifices for a higher ideal. And DIn has been shown to take comfort from his Creed and the identity it gives him, and has never expressed anything more than passing wistfulness at the thought of living differently--not bitterness or resentment, simply a “Oh. Yes, that would be nice. But I’m still sticking to my guns here.”

So with all that being said...Holy crap, I love how this episode forced him to break his creed and sacrifice his identity. The show has hammered it into our heads since day one: Din’s most valued part of himself, the thing that he loves enough to die for, is his identity as a Mandalorian and follower of the Way. Din taking off his helmet was not an act of rebellion--it was truly a sacrifice, the greatest sacrifice he could ever make. Din has been shown to be pretty nonchalant about dying, but losing who he is, the code that has shaped him and guided his life--to him, that is so much worse than death. And before Grogu, I don’t think there was anyone or anything that could make him willingly give it up. 

Also MAJOR Kudos to Pedro Pascal for his acting in that whole scene. The guy has already been a god of the recording booth throughout this entire series, but his physical performance during this pivotal moment in Din’s arc was just 👌👌👌 Every swallow, every muscle twitch, every eye movement was clearly very intentional, and even though Din was forced to keep a straight face and pretend this was perfectly normal, the small subtleties of Pascal’s acting clearly communicated that Din was breaking inside. 

ALSO HI, HELLO, WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF CHARACTER GROWTH, THREE CHEERS FOR MY BOI MAYFELD

You know, my mother pointed out, the first time she watched “The Prisoner,” that Mayfeld wasn’t quite on the same level of malice as the other antagonists. She picked up that there was a spark of morality somewhere in him. I didn’t think much of it other than “oh cool, different flavors of Evil in the villain squad” but hot DANG they really were teasing his redemption arc from the get-go. 

Also Mayfeld being his snarky, irritating self, spewing about the faulty logistics of a religion he doesn’t actually know anything about, trying to goad Din into showing his face, was such a perfect backdrop to his reaction to Din removing his helmet. Like, just seeing him realize what Din’s creed means to him, seeing this cold-hearted bastard have genuine compassion and jump in to help out his bro--just, tres magnifique.

Din and Mayfeld were obviously the stand-out characters here, everybody else was just kind of there, but that was fine. I like that Din and Cara have a few moments of silent communication, where they just look at each other intently, and nobody goes “Alright, break it up lovebirds.” Yes. Please normalize platonic relationships being just as emotionally intense and full of trust as romantic ones.

I still don’t understand why Boba Fett and Fennec are so dead-set on helping Din, but I’m totally okay if they all come out of this as Found Family. Please give me Din bickering with his sassy assassin sister while Boba yells from the front seat “WILL YOU KIDS SHUT UP, I’M TRYING TO FLY, HERE.” 

Also Fennec and Cara are Sharpshooting Sisters now, and no, you cannot change my mind, they are BFFs and they probably get into bar fights together and talk about guns.

Finally, let’s talk about the final scene (the one that broke me). “You may think you have some idea of what you are in possession of, but you do not. Soon, he will be back with me. He means more to me than you will ever know.” EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A SECOND

*screams in Found Family*

So, everything about Din’s threat message to Gideon is perfect. Not only is he forcefully reversing their roles so that now Din is the hunter and Gideon is the prey, but he alters Gideon’s own words in order to communicate something really important. Din doesn’t say “Soon, he will be mine.” He doesn’t think of Grogu as an asset to be possessed. Grogu is only his in the sense that Din needs to protect and nurture him, but no one owns the child. 

Also AAAAAAAAAH DIN STRAIGHT-UP PUBLICLY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT HE LOVES HIS SON, I AM FREAKING OUT, IT’S EVERYTHING I WANTED

I am pumped for the conclusion to this season now. I don’t think I’ve been this excited for a new episode in...ever. “The Believer” gets a solid 10/10 from Niki, if for no other reason than because it actually made me want to read Mandalorian fics again. Ahhhh I feel my passion for this series returning to me...it is Well and Good.

[jyushimatsu-falls-in-love]

s2ep12: ooh, i wanna be like yo-o-ou~

I wanna walk like you, talk like you, too~ You'll see it's true, someone like me can learn to be like someone like you~! - “I Wanna Be Like You” from Disney’s The Jungle Book, which kinda suits this week’s main skit :P

[SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!]

Not gonna lie, when the previews for this week’s ep. were released I grew very concerned. Mostly it’s because of the little boy in the preview, Eitaro - I, and a lot of other people, was thinking that he kinda-sorta-really looked like a certain homerun girl. And then theories were going around, especially one that she was the little boy’s mom... So I got myself a little really worried haha ^^; 

But as it turns out, I had no reason to worry at all orz And I actually really enjoyed this episode, especially little Eitaro’s skit! But we’ll talk about him and his family later.

Let’s start first with the first skit, which is yet another entry in the Totoko-and-Nyaa-(with-Chibita) series. It actually comes in right before the OP! So in this one, Totoko and Nyaa are at Chibita’s stall once again. Totoko is rather troubled, and she makes a big deal out of it, irritating Nyaa. But after some brief contradictory behavior on Totoko’s, we find out what’s bugging her: She wants to... quit being an idol?! Nyaa is shocked - and is actually willing to listen to Totoko’s reasons and maybe help her out! This sudden friendliness and willingness to work out their issues scares Chibita. And I don’t blame him, lol :P To be continued!

(Also, Chibita grew his single strand of hair back! I guess Totoko’s “you’re cuter bald!” flattery from last week didn’t stick much lol. But it’s nice to see his hair again.)

After that comes “The Eitaro Family”, a really cute and silly skit for the most part. We open with Jyushi playing with a little boy with Eitaro in the playground. Eitaro is the most adorable thing, a happy and energetic grade school boy who thinks every silly thing Jyushi does - from burrowing into the ground to extreme biking to dressing as a bird - is awesome! He wants to be just like Jyushimatsu, and Jyushi can’t help but feel flattered and play along. Call him Master (and you’ll get a candy if you do)!

While Jyushi and Eitaro are hanging out, Ichi and Totty spy on them. Apparently Eitaro really, really looks up to Jyushimatsu, and hangs out with him a lot to the point of waiting outside the Matsus’ house every day just to hang out and play. Ichi and Totty think the kid’s looking up to Jyushi for all the wrong reasons; and, well, considering that it’s Jyushi, it might not be too far-fetched to worry about that. (Though to be fair, any child looking up to a Matsuno is probably looking up to them for the wrong reasons too :P)

Jyushi and Eitaro’s friendship is the cutest thing, like oh my goodness ;w; Jyushi clearly enjoys Eitaro looking up to him, and he really tries to make himself look good in the eyes of his little friend. To the point that he’ll even lie about what a NEET is (”It’s a baseball position!”) and what a cherry boy is (”I really like cherries!”) just so that Eitaro would still keep thinking he’s cool haha :P So I guess even Jyushi gets self-conscious! But not entirely, I suppose - he still shamelessly shares the Final Fart Rush technique to his little disciple. And yeah, it’s just as stinky as it sounds :’P But Eitaro finds it super cool!! (And surprisingly enough, while it was still gross, the fart joke didn’t really bother me as previous toilet humor jokes in the last few episodes did. Not quite sure why...)

A week passes, and suddenly Jyushi finds himself in Eitaro’s house, sitting face to face with his mother - who isn’t Homura btw, but is instead an older-looking woman with short hair and a low and really familiar-sounding voice. (No seriously, I feel like I’ve heard Eitaro’s Mom’s VA somewhere else before! But where...?) Eitaro’s been imitating Jyushi lately, and his mom is understandably concerned about who her son’s hanging out with, so she asks Jyushi some questions. Throughout the whole thing Jyushi is very, very self-conscious and embarrassed about some of the questions; and little Eitaro, earnest and excited about his “master” as he is, isn’t really helping Jyushi much lol (“EI-TA-RO-KUN!”)

It’s interesting seeing Jyushi in a place where he's embarrassed of what he’d normally be like, and is instead trying to make himself look presentable. One would think that he wouldn’t care about these sort of things, but he does... I think that really adds to his character and makes him a lot more multi-faceted. It’s interesting. (And so every single Matsu  - except maybe for Oso??? - cares about what other people think of him...)

It then culminates to Jyushi ending up having to demonstrate his Final Fart Rush technique for Eitaro’s Mom. We don’t see the gag itself, but we do see the aftermath - Jyushi’s face got beat up pretty badly, to which Eitaro’s Mom apologizes for. She isn’t really mad at Jyushi though, and instead she wants to ask him a favor.

That favor, as it turns out when Jyushi talks to Ichi and Totty about it, is that Eitaro’s Mom wants Jyushi to spend more time with her son and be his friend. Since Eitaro’s dad’s job makes the family move around a lot, the poor kid never really gets to make any friends; so prior to meeting Jyushi, he was a sad and lonely child. What is it with Jyushi befriending sad brown-haired people and helping them cheer up? This is the second time it’s happened, though the context is worlds different from the previous instance :P Anyway, that being said, Ichi and Totty think - and Jyushi agrees - that what Eitaro really needs is to make friends his age in school, not just depend on Jyushi for friendship all the time.

This is an Otoutomatsu skit!! This is an Otoutomatsu skit and I’m super happy that it is :’D While Ichi and Totty aren’t exactly supportive-supportive, they’re there for their brother when he needs to talk to them and they give pretty decent advice. I love love love the Otoutomatsu combo and I’m very happy to see the three of them (and just the three of them, sorry niichans :P) interacting.

So with that, Jyushi resolves to teach Eitaro even more of his gags and antics. (Including others’ gags and antics... Jyushi, the SHEEH is Iyami’s, not yours, even your own brothers point that out :’P) Surprisingly enough, Eitaro’s Mom goes along with it, and she’s very supportive of her son and his teacher. She even made Eitaro his own yellow Jyushi parka!! Ichi and Totty, on the other hand, are decidedly more tsukkomi about it :P Still, all four adults are there outside the school building when Eitaro shows off his newly-learned gags and antics to his classmates...

...and it turns out to work!! Eitaro has made friends with everyone in his class by the end of the day, and it’s all thanks to Master Jyushi teaching him the ways. Eitaro’s Mom is proud of her son, and Jyushi especially is proud of his little disciple! It’s the cutest, sweetest thing ever!!

...until Eitaro reveals that his newfound gag talents also landed him a girlfriend. Cue Jyushi expelling him from his tutelage and flinging the boy and his mini-Kanojochan into the sky :P ...And instead of getting mad, Eitaro’s Mom finds that awesome and begs Jyushi to be her master too. Jyushi refuses. It won’t stop her from waiting outside the Matsus’ house in a Jyushi parka though. Poor Ichi and Totty :P

So this skit wasn’t what I expected at all, and I’m happy! Aside from the fact that JyushiHomu wasn’t sunk (:P), we got Jyushi having an adorable friendship with an equally adorable little boy, more of his self-conscious side, 110matsu, Otoutomatsu, and a lot lot more!! This skit is very worth it and you should definitely watch it ;v;

After that, we have “Give Them Back”. It’s a Dekapan and Dayon skit. Dekapan’s bored one day, so Dayon has the perfect solution - he rips off Dekapan’s pants. He then has Dekapan chase after him and his pants all over the lab, which makes the old man quite happy again... at first. But then Dayon takes the pants with him and runs everywhere else, forcing Dekapan to run after him completely naked. And the skit is just that, really - Dekapan giving Dayon chase all while yelling at him to give his pants back.

To be honest, there really isn’t much to say about this one, because the premise pretty much stays the same all throughout. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it! Some notable moments in the skit come to mind:

While running, Dayon and Dekapan come across the other characters, and the two prove to be quite the nuisances :P There’s Totoko and Hatabou, where Totoko becomes scared for her life after seeing the “pervert” Dekapan be completely naked; there’s Oso and Ichi, who lost at pachinko and ended up being spun around by Dekapan and Dayon’s chase; there’s Jyushi and Eitaro, with the latter begging Jyushi to be his master again before they too get spun around by the chase; there’s Kara and Choro at the fishing hole, who end up getting tangled in their fishing lines as a result of Dekapan and Dayon running around them; there’s an Iyami cameo in the escalators of a shopping mall. Tbh the cameos make one of the most memorable parts of this skit

At one point, Dekapan gets tired of the chase and cross at Dayon for all his shenanigans. Dayon tries to get Dekapan to chase him again, waving the old man’s pants in front of him - but Dekapan dramatically gives Dayon the cold shoulder, swatting the pants away and walking away into the sunset. This part was played so seriously and dramatically that it made me laugh. Eeyup.

Near the end of the skit there’s suddenly an art shift into a pixel RPG style. And then an acid trip style. Of all skits to go into art shift, why this one

And it ends with Dayon still running with the pants, and Dekapan yelling at him to give them back, he’s not ever gonna forgive him for this, etc. Dekayon is becoming intense, guys :P

Then finally, we have the last Totoko & Nyaa skit. It looks like Totoko has bared her whole problems to Nyaa, who seems to be listening and sympathizing, so at first it seems to be going well...

...but then Nyaa goes and throws boiling hot konjac on Totoko’s face :P Totoko retaliates by throwing hot daikon slices onto Nyaa’s eyes. Another fight ensues, complete with wrestling tackles and suplexes, and it ends up destroying Chibita’s stall all together. The skit ends with Totoko and Nyaa name-calling and beating each other up, all while Chibita stares ahead... And his regrown stand of hair flies away with the wind, proving it to be fake all along. Ososan’s sense of continuity never fails to amuse me :P

So this week’s ep is a fun one! It’s not the best of the episodes we’ve got so far, but I enjoyed almost every minute of it. “The Eitaro Family” is the crowning jewel of this episode. Hooray for Jyushimatsu and his adorable friendship with Eitaro!! While I think he and his mom would just be oneshot characters, it’d be nice to see them again later down the line. (Also now I want Eitaro to show up in JyushiHomu fanworks ;v; Let Homura and Eitaro interact; I bet she’d love the little guy ♥) (Also I think Dekapan and Dayon might need some couples counselling lol Dayon’s becoming increasingly shadier in this season and I dunno what’s up with that) All in all, thank you for this episode, base-stealing home run!

There’s been some discussion earlier in the stream on whether or not we’ll be having an episode next week. Christmas day falls on a Monday, but I don’t really think it’s considered a day-off day in Japan. According to my research, Christmas Eve is more celebrated there than Christmas day. That being said, there was a tweet made by the official Ososan Twitter account about Christmas some time ago... People are saying it’s about a delay or something. I dunno, we’ll have to see I guess.

Whether or not we’re getting a new episode next week though, we are getting a new episode! And it’s about New Years! “We still celebrate the end of the year,” Totty says in the voiceover. Is that showing on the last day of the year? Well, it turns out New Year’s Day 2018 also falls on a Monday... Will this be what welcomes us into the New Year? Will this be the last episode of the first cour, or the first episode of the second cour? :0 Hmm. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

[kowaiyoukai]

Star Trek: Discovery and CBS All Access: spoiler-free reviews

I saw the first two episodes of Star Trek: Discovery. Here are my spoiler-free thoughts, mostly regarding comments I've read, CBS All Access, and supporting diversity. The Good: - acting, effects, plot, dialogue, cinematography, political commentary, shout-outs/easter eggs The Bad: - character deaths, misleading promos The Ugly: - CBS All Access a.k.a. the paywall I'll definitely be watching more. I am choosing to pay the $5.99/month, though it pains me greatly to do so. I have seen a lot of negative opinions on the premiere, and most of those I disagree with. For instance, some of the most common complaints I've seen are that DSC is too political, too slow-paced, goes against Roddenberry's vision, and is too much like Star Wars/Stargate/Mass Effect. To these, I say Star Trek has always been political, the vast majority of Star Trek episodes are slow-paced and thoughtful (in fact, I'd argue DSC eps 1 & 2 were too fast-paced), Roddenberry originally wanted women as both Captain and First Officer, and many sci-fi shows/franchises share similar elements (as with all genre shows, what defines them is what makes them genre). Besides these issues, many people are judging based on only the first episode. I understand this is due to the fact that CBS only publically aired episode 1. Still, other pay services don't publically air any episodes (Netflix, Hulu, etc). At least they gave us the first episode. Don't get me wrong--I believe DSC should be airing on CBS without having to pay for All Access. What I mean is that judging a show only by it's first episode very rarely works. In that case, I wouldn't have continued watching some of my favorite shows, including Xena and The 100. For both of those shows, it took me until episode 3-4 to really get into them. Based on the DSC episode 3 preview, I would say the same goes in this case. Ep 3 looks like where we'll get into the good stuff. I'm also frustrated by the fact so many people seem to be taking out their irritation about the paywall on the show. I've seen many comments along the lines of "if it was on regular CBS, I'd watch it every Sunday", "the first episode didn't convince me to pay", and "why bother watching when I'll need another subscription service to continue". I wish these comments were directed towards CBS All Access instead of DSC. I also feel that rage of being pushed into paying for only one show. However, this isn't the first time I've done that. I paid for Crunchyroll ($6.95/month) only to watch Hunter x Hunter. Yet I kept that service because it's actually good. Actually, you can watch anime on Crunchyroll for free with ads--paying eliminates the commercials. Which brings me to my next point: why on Earth is paying for CBS All Access not enough to get rid of the ads? They want my money along with money from the commercials--capitalism at its greediest. My sister and I did some math and comparisons, using the idea of subscribing to All Access solely for DSC. 1 month of CBS All Access = $5.99-9.99 4 episodes/month; 1 episode = $1.50-2.50 4 hours = $5.99-9.99; 1 hour = $1.50-2.50 Do not own: can rewatch with subscription. 1 movie ticket = around $10-16 2 hours = $10-16; 1 hour = $5-8 Do not own: cannot rewatch without paying again. 1 box set = between $25-50 13-26 episodes/hours Min: 1 episode for 26 eps & $25 = about $0.96 Max: 1 episode for 13 eps & $50 = about $3.85 Average = $2.41 Do own: can rewatch whenever for free. So, it's cheaper than a movie, which you also don't own. My sister pointed out going to a movie is an experience, but the cost is still much greater comparatively. TV box sets are all over the place in terms of cost and content, yet owning them means the extra cost is worth it for many people. Still, all the math proves is that it's not too expensive for each episode. But even that depends on an individual's disposable income. And the fact is, the cost isn't going to matter to a lot of people, myself included, who believe having to pay extra for it at all is the problem. This is compounded by knowing that Netflix has it in every country except the U.S. and Canada. Many people in these countries who already have Netflix are just not going to like this setup. Again, myself included. Putting money aside, the other content you're paying for matters. What else does CBS All Access have to offer? - Live TV: if you already have CBS, this is irrelevant. It's just what CBS is currently airing. - Movies: I browsed through them. Most of them are old, and the majority I have seen at my library where I can rent them for free. - Sporting Events: These are heavily advertised. I have no interest in any of them, but they could be good for some people. Still, to my understanding, it's fairly easy to watch sports without paying extra. - TV: Most of these are old shows, so if you were interested in them you may have already seen them. What's currently airing is also available just on CBS. Again, most of this can be rented for free in box set form from my library. - Originals: There are currently four. Star Trek: Discovery, After Trek (a talk show after each episode), The Good Fight (spinoff of The Good Wife), and Big Brother: Over the Top. Out of that whole list, the only one I care about is DSC. I'm not even watching After Trek. So, to me, the content CBS All Access offers is extremely limited and subpar. As opposed to the other two services I use, Crunchyroll and Netflix, which both have a ton of good content to choose from. People may argue that All Access is just getting started and more originals will be coming soon, but I'm paying now, so I'm judging by what's currently available. Last of all, there's the quality of the service to consider. I found the stream quality to be really low. The image got blurry several times in both episodes. After each of the four 1 minute and 30 second commercial breaks, the stream paused to load for what I felt was too long. (Side note about the commercials: they were loud, annoying, and repetitive. Also, the shows they advertised for seemed to skew politically conservative-- supporting spying on people, showing white people as heroes and non-white people as villains, praising war, etc. Since Star Trek is a liberal show, these ads felt very out of place to me.) Another quality issue is the controls are a bit difficult to work. I use my PS4, and both Crunchyroll and Netflix have single button presses to pause, rewind, and fast forward. All Access required me to arrow down to a control bar, which then had me going over to my desired command and pressing it. That's an additional two steps I'm not used to. This caused major confusion several times in the ep. Functionality does matter to me. Also, when we went back to episode 1, we loaded a green screen with a few white boxes two times. No idea why the episode would be put up and then unable to load. Those quality issues stand out to me. This is a service I'm paying for. The stream should be a clear, sharp image; the load time should be minimal; and it shouldn't take me 10 seconds to pause the episode. If this was free, I would understand, but as a paid service, I'm utterly disappointed. Now for my last, perhaps most important, point: even with all of those negatives to CBS All Access, I'll still subscribe for Star Trek: Discovery. Why? Simply put, I've wanted WoC and diverse leads in serious dramatic shows (particularly sci-fi) for years. As a white woman, I know there are many PoC who've had a need for representation since before I even thought about it. So this only enhances my desire to support diverse characters in media. I've posted on social media about this many times: I want LGBT main couples who aren't killed off, I want more women in varying roles, I want PoC as leads. This is my chance to prove it. When people say "vote with your dollars", they're usually talking about boycotting something. However, the opposite is in effect here. By giving CBS $6/month, I'm telling TV network executives that Star Trek: Discovery is the type of content I am willing to pay for. Do I want a sci-fi show led by a WoC with a gay couple? Yes. Am I willing to pay for it? Yes. Everyone who has decided to pirate or simply not watch is sending a message, too. That message is "I'm not willing to pay for this type of content." That is the only message TV executives will hear. If DSC doesn't make the network money, all the CEOs will say, "People aren't willing to pay for this. Let's shut it down and see what they WILL pay for." At the end of the day, boycotting CBS All Access won't be seen as boycotting a streaming service--people pay for Netflix and Hulu, so the public has already stated it's willing to pay for specialized streaming content. Boycotting will only say that you don't want serious genre shows with WoC leads. So, to everyone saying they're interested and they'd watch if it was free, and to everyone who supports diverse representation in media, this is the time. Please, pay the $6/month to vote with your dollars. An important aside: I'm poor. This week, I have less than $5 to last me until I get paid on Friday. Then I have more bills going out than money coming in. Still, I put aside $6 from my check for DSC. This is the content I want, I'm ready to pay to show how much I want it, and, for now, this is the only genre show from a major franchise with a WoC lead. I'm putting my money where my mouth is. If you feel the same, you should, too. Overall: - I liked Star Trek: Discovery. I'm excited to watch more. Burnham is a great character who I can tell will lead us on a fascinating ride. - I don't like CBS All Access. Even putting aside that I don't believe DSC should be behind a paywall, I think the service itself is subpar compared to what's currently available. - I'm willing to pay $6/month to send a message to network executives that DSC has the type of content I want: WoC leads, LGBT couples, serious sci-fi. My hope is that people can separate their dislike of CBS All Access from their judgment of Star Trek: Discovery. It would be a shame to miss out on a show with massive potential, and to ignore a chance at making a statement supporting diverse representation in media, due to a poorly designed subscription service.

[mysticorigamipaper-mcl]

MCL: Lysander’s POV - Ep. 30

WARNING: SPOILERS

Disclaimer: The following events take place in My Candy Love’s episode 29. All characters, script and images belong to and were created by Chinomiko. I only wrote what Lysander may have been thinking as the episode progressed, giving us his point of view rather than Candy’s. This piece also has the answers to earn Lysander’s image at the end of episode 30.

Enjoy!

——————————————————————————————-

Lysander felt heavy that morning. As if his shoes were filled with lead. He dragged his feet, slowly making his way to school, with so many things weighing on his mind. And his upset with Candy the afternoon before only added to his heavy heart. He wasn’t sure if he was angry, sad or if he overreacted. One thing was for sure, however. He felt hurt. Hurt that she was so adimant about their new relationship not being found out that she was basically suggesting that he keep his distance from her while her parents are around. He would have to make due with it, he supposed. As much as it pained him to do so, he would stay true to his promise. Even if it was made in anger.

As he walked passed the shops towards the park, he noticed a girl his age with lots of colorful barrettes in her hair looking around near the park entrance. She seemed to be looking for something…or someone. Lysander felt like he had seen her before. He approached her to see if she was alright.

Lysander: “You appear lost.”

Lucy: “Huh? Oh!”

She gave him a big smile and her eyes seemed to light up when she saw him.

Lucy: “Was it that obvious?”

Lysander: “I have had that same look, myself. I get lost often as well. Are you looking for someone or are you looking for a location?”

Lucy: “Both! I’m was heading to Sweet Amoris with my friend to help with an art expo at her school…but we got separated and now I don’t know where to go…hey wait! You go to Sweet Amoris, right?! You look soooo familiar. I’m Candy’s friend, Lucy. We met before the last time I came to visit. Remember?”

He vaguely remembered her now that she mentioned it.

Lysander: “That must be it then.”

Lucy: “What’s your name again?”

Lysander: “Lysander.”

Lucy: “So, Lysander, can you help a girl out? You’re heading to the school for the expo thingy too anyway, right?”

Lysander: “Mmm, yes, of course. We’re not far actually. Follow me.”

Lucy: “Thanks so much!”

They walked together for a few minutes before finally arriving at the school. Once they did, there was someone standing outside on the curb, looking up and down the street and slightly frantic. It was Candy. Lysander felt a pang in his chest from seeing her. He let Lucy race on ahead and he slowly walked towards the entrance of the courtyard. Seeing Candy so suddenly reminded him of their conversation from yesterday and now he was feeling saddened and frustrated all at once. 

Candy turned their direction, but only seemed to notice Lucy.

Candy: “Lucy! Gosh, how did we lose each other?”

Lucy: “I got a little distracted when I saw the store windows not far from your place. I’m sorry. But, I’ll admit I did ask for help. Your friend brought me to your school. It was so cute.”

Lucy turned around and pointed at Lysander. It was inevitable this morning, it seemed.

Lysander: “It was the least I could do.”

To keep his promise to Candy, despite how much he didn’t approve of it, he adverted his gaze. Just being this close to her and not being able to to hold her hand or look at her was painful right now.

Lucy: “A knight in shining armor!”

Before he could refuse, Lucy grabbed his arm and kissed him on the cheek. He froze, unsure of what just happened. Candy did the same, crossing her arms as she raised her eyebrows in surprise. Honestly, even Lysander felt this was inappropriate.

Lysander: “I…Isn’t that a bit much?”

Lucy: “Oh, are you shy? I just wanted to thank you.”

She merely only needed to say so...no need for gestures...

Lysander: “Hmm, right. I have to go. W-We’ll probably see each other later.”

Lucy: “I hope so!”

He meant for that to be directed towards Candy. Lysander hurried away.

After what happened, all Lysander wanted was some solitude for a little while. He decided to head to the basement, but soon realized this wasn’t the best place to find it. There were bags of food and supplies sitting in the middle of the room and items from the photography workshop were occupying most of the space. So he wandered off upstairs and found a quiet place to be with his thoughts in the science room. No one bothered him all morning, and he felt somewhat grateful. Though, being alone with the thoughts that weighed on him made him feel a trifle bit...lonely. He wished he could talk to Candy about it, but since their relationship was so new, so young, he didn’t think it appropriate. But now with Candy not wanting to be seen near him all day...it only made him miss her, and he felt even more hurt than before.

Time passed and Lysander began to hear more commotion in the hallways outside. He thought it best to move and walk around in case someone came into the room. So he left and made his way to the courtyard for some fresh air. He didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings once outside until he heard a familiar voice not far off. He lifted his head and noticed Candy and Iris admiring some of the artwork that was already on display. But then, something caught his eye. The presence of a third person he did not recognize. A guy with blonde hair pulled back into a messy up-do, standing a little too close to Candy for Lysander’s comfort. And an uneasy feeling built inside his chest. He listened in from a slight distance.

Iris: “I’m so proud of us! It looks great, right?”

Candy: “Not bad, yeah…but it’s a bit intimidating!”

Dake: “It’s scary, yeah. Did you do this?”

Candy: “Oh, no. The painting workshop did. Iris, Castiel and Violette. You don’t like it?”

Dake: “Well…you know, I don’t know much about art.”

Candy: “Oh…”

How unfortunate for him…

Iris: “I can’t wait for the parents to arrive!”

Candy: “It’s going to be eventful…”

Dake: “So, I’m going to meet your parents?”

The guy flashed a mischievous grin at her. Lysander noticed a panicked expression on Candy’s face after he mentioned this, and his uneasiness grew into frustration. Obviously Candy was not comfortable with the idea of him meeting her parents, whoever he was.

Dake: “Don’t freak out! They are going to love me! You’ll see.”

Just then, the guy pulled Candy against him and tousled her hair. Lysander was irritated beyond compare and set forth to step in and intervene.

Lysander: “What exactly is going on here?”

All three of them froze and turned their attention to Lysander. The guy gave him an arrogant smile. Seeing that smile and getting a better look at his face jogged Lysander’s memory.

Dake: “Well, well...look who it is.”

Lysander: “No way.”

Of all the people, it had to be him. Lysander recognized him as the guy that wouldn’t leave Candy alone at the beach, and he had to step in last time too to get him to leave. What was his name again? Well, right now that didn’t matter. Lysander just wanted him to go away. Now.

The guy turned to Candy.

Dake: “You’re friend, he makes me nervous. He’s a little weird.”

Candy: “...”

It was like the pot calling the kettle black...

Lysander: “Just another reason for you to leave!”

Candy: “Good luck making him leave…I’ve been trying for an hour…”

Dake: “You must not have tried hard enough.”

He continued to have that cocky smile on his face, then the guy put his arm around Candy’s shoulders. That did it.

Lysander: “This time, that’s enough!”

His patience was wearing thin and he was seething.

Iris: “L-Lysander, what has gotten into you?”

Dake: “Hey, chill...We can’t even have a little fun anymore...”

There was nothing fun about this whole endeavor. Especially when it involved him it seemed, in Lysander’s opinion. Thankfully, the guy let go of her and turned to Candy.

Dake: “Well, I’ll see you later Candy...when your friend has calmed down.”

Lysander glared after him as he walked off. Candy let out a sigh of relief and Iris remained speechless. There was an uncomfortable silence for a short time, and once Lysander came back to his senses, he became aware of how he acted and how others may have perceived the situation. Luckily, no one else seemed to be nearby to witness this whole thing. Candy looked at him but he left immediately before another word was spoken. He made it to the hallway when he heard someone running up behind him. He turned around. It was Candy.

Candy: “Lysander...”

He was not in the mood to be told off for how he acted. Lysander understood he probably compromised their secret. But he was upset again for new reasons, and the feelings from yesterday afternoon came reeling back. He felt so...bitter.

Lysander: “I thought we weren’t supposed to talk to one another.”

She flinched slightly at his tone.

Candy: “About that, I wanted to say...I’m sorry for what I said yesterday…I went too far.”

Lysander: “I couldn’t agree more...”

Candy: “It…it really upsets me that you’re angry with me.”

At these words, he felt another pang in his chest. And he began to regret channeling his frustration towards Candy. She was being sincere in her apology, he could tell. And he hated being angry with her too...he hated being upset in general. And in that moment, looking at Candy’s face, all he wanted to do was reassure her...hold her...tell her everything. But where to start?

Lysander: “…”

Just then, the loud speaker started crackling.

****Your attention, please! The school will soon open it’s doors to welcome your families and other visitors for the expo. We are counting on everyone to welcome them properly.****

He and Candy looked at one another, a little unsettled. But right now, there was no time. And that’s exactly what they would need to talk this through and get past this.

Lysander: “We can talk about this later. You should go meet your parents.”

Candy: “Yeah, well, only my dad was free to come.”

At least her dad could attend...

Candy: “And your parents? Were they able to come?”

Lysander’s heart dropped and he suddenly felt somber. He didn’t even try to hide it. He knew she understood something was wrong when she continued to look at him.

Candy: “Lysander?”

Lysander: “No...No, they aren’t coming. I-I have to go.”

Candy: “But...”

He left her standing there in the hall, alone and confused. He just couldn’t bring himself to tell her. Not right now. He couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone...that his father was ill. The very fact that Lysander was encouraged to be at school today instead of with his family was upsetting enough. Rosa and Leigh were with his mother, just like he should be. And now, on top of that, he and Candy had an argument. He was currently bearing a lot on his shoulders.

Lysander quickly joined the crowd outside and tried to remain unnoticed. He aimlessly followed the parents that attended and his fellow peers into the gym. But he needed a distraction. Something to keep him occupied and take his mind off all the negativity he was experiencing recently. Lysander located Castiel, who surprisingly, was joined by his parents. Lysander thought they couldn’t make it. He remembered Castiel was in a good mood a few days ago because they said so. Obviously, things changed. Nonetheless, Lysander greeted his friend and was warmly received by Castiel and his family. He conversed briefly with them while others mingled and ate from the buffet. He, however, had no appetite. Soon afterwards, the principal came forward.

Principal: “Thank you all for coming! The exp is now able to start. Certain pieces are displayed in the courtyard, and others in the basement. You can complete your visit in any order you like. At the end of the expo, Mr. Patrick Savin will announce the best piece. This project will be displayed at the school and will be the first piece to a hopefully beautiful collection.”

Lysander was only half paying attention, zoning in and out as his thoughts began to consume him again.

The crowd dispersed and he followed Castiel and his family out to the courtyard as people stopped to take a look at the work displayed. He noticed it was the painting from Castiel’s workshop and the sculpture piece of Sloth from his own workshop. A voice to his right cut through the murmur of the attending the crowd.

“Oh gosh! That’s horrible! I wouldn’t want that in my living room.”

It was Nathaniel’s mother. He noticed Candy near her father on the other side.

Amber: “For real. So ugly…”

It’s a shame they didn’t appreciate the painting. Lysander found it to represent the vice known as Rage perfectly. Castiel’s group did a wonderful job. As others remained outside, Castiel and his parents were getting ready to head to the basement. Lysander took a fleeting glance at Candy...only to discover that she was gone. Her father remained behind, conversing with Iris’ mother. Where did she run off too, he wondered.

Lysander followed Castiel and his family to the basement, barely paying attention to the photographs of Melody. It was quite...different. She showed so many facial expressions of a daydreaming smiling girl to a fierce furrowed face on the precipice of anger. Lysander was more grateful that Castiel and his family let him tag along, and he was sure Castiel was benefiting from his company as well since Castiel doesn’t like being alone with his parents. This aspect of Castiel not realizing how lucky he is to have parents that are able to attend made Lysander a bit envious, but he refused to let it show. He refused to trouble anyone with his personal family life. Be it Candy or his best friend. He then understood the meaning behind the photos of Melody. She was portraying Envy.

The four of them went back outside the school to the courtyard and to Lysander’s slight amusement the crowd outside had grown larger in their short absence. Patrick was there too. Lysander noticed Candy not far off, having returned from wherever she ran off to earlier. There, in the middle of the crowded circle, was Kentin. Wearing a jacket made of dollar bills and modeling it for the people around him. So this is what the sewing workshop came up with. They obviously had chosen greed for their vice. And Kentin was obviously miserable.

Val: “Can you turn a bit? I can’t see the back.”

Kentin let out an annoyed sigh and turned around for her.

Castiel: “Very becoming. A real little part-time model.”

Kentin: “I dare you to say that again!!”

Must they do this now? Honestly...

Guy: “Is there a problem, redhead?”

Kentin’s mom spoke up.

Manon: “Calm down, it’s no use getting…”

Val: “Cassy was just having a laugh. There’s no use to make a mountain out of a molehill.”

Guy: “Well tell your ‘Cassy’ to have a laugh somewhere else!”

Castiel’s dad stepped forward.

Jean-Louise: “Come now…we have to show a good example for our children.”

Principal: “What is going on here?”

Moments later, all the parents had calmed down. A larger mass of people had gathered to watch Kentin model his workshops’ dollar bill jacket. Lysander kept his distance this time, standing alone near the back. It was then that he caught a glimpse of a familiar face walking through the crowd, her blonde hair in pigtails and wearing a Lolita outfit. Nina. He knew instantly she was seeking him out. But he didn’t want to talk with her at the moment. He left as quickly and discretely as possible while everyone’s attention was occupied by the one man fashion show.

He came to a halt at the end of the hallway near the back staircase, believing he successfully evaded Nina. But suddenly, Candy appeared behind him. She must have seen him leave.

Candy: “Oh...”

Lysander said nothing and continued upstairs, once again attempting to hide out in the empty science room. It wasn’t long before Candy followed him inside and quietly closed the door behind her before coming closer to him.

Candy: “Lysander?”

She looked utterly concerned.

Candy: “Are...Are you hiding from Nina?”

So Candy noticed her too.

Lysander: “She is going to insist on knowing everything...I don’t want to talk to her right now.”

Candy: “I ran into her this morning...Apparently, she thinks she knows what’s going on with you. I wanted to warn you...”

He was relieved that Candy wasn’t prying as to what Nina thought she knew or why Nina was so driven to find him.

Lysander: “It’s possible she saw some stuff,yeah...but I don’t think she could have guessed everything...”

He lowered his head to hide that he was troubled. The next thing he knew, Candy had taken him into her arms. In that instance, every fiber of his being became overwhelmed. He had avoided her all day long in order to keep his promise to her partially out of spite, but he also did so to keep her from learning of his personal struggles. How quickly he forgot how her presence always made his day a little brighter....a little better until now when she embraced him. He abandoned his thoughts and acted this time. Lysander placed his hand behind Candy’s neck and kissed her more passionately than he ever thought possible. All the negative emotions that had possessed him recently melted away to make room for this feeling of sheer bliss. His heart soared.

When he ended the kiss, he squeezed her tightly in his arms, not wanting to let her go.

Lysander: “You know, the thought of us being angry with one another made me upset too...”

Candy: “I’m sorry for everything...I-I really have to stop overthinking things. You have other, more serious things to handle than my expectations...

He blushed from her words, her sincerity. But...

Lysander: “I would never consider you to be a problem. Know that.”

He gave her a sad smile.

At that moment they heard voices in the hallway. The door opened and they quickly separated as Peggy entered the room.

Peggy: “Well, you were right. This whole photo situation doesn’t look good...”

Photo situation?

Candy: “Huh? Photos?”

Candy looked as lost and Lysander felt.

Peggy: “Maybe I should have done things differently...I’m going to get caught up in another scandal.”

Candy: “What did you do now?”

Peggy: “You haven’t seen? I used Melody as the model for our photos....As we were working with Envy and she wouldn’t stop batting her eyes at Nathaniel, I thought it would be a good idea...”

Lysander and Candy just stared at Peggy.

Peggy: “Well, she’s not happy being the center of attention for that, apparently. She is trying to tell Patrick that she didn’t give her permission for her image to be used. I’m going to go back to defend my project. If you want to come watch the show...”

Candy: “Uh, well, um...”

Candy looked at Lysander as she hesitated. Was she wondering if it was alright to leave him?

Lysander: “Go ahead Candy, it’ll be okay.”

Candy: “But...”

He shook his head to insist and left the room. He had no interest in being part of anymore drama today. Especially with his own to face. And just after he and Candy reconciled....partially at least.

Lysander passed some more time alone in another empty room to compose himself before heading down to the basement with the rest of his peers and their families. Mere minutes went by as people took time to look at the work from the photography workshop before Patrick called for everyone’s attention.

Patrick: “Well, the projection is going to start! It’s time to show you the work from the video workshop. We are going to need some chairs so everyone can be comfortable. Boris must have brought them to the gym. If you don’t mind, I’m going to ask the students to help me bring them here.”

Guy: “We can help too! We aren’t that old!”

Patrick: “Anyone who would like to help is welcome, seeing the number of chairs.”

Lysander once again joined the crowd that decided to help bring down chairs, most of them students and perhaps half of the parents. He and some others helped pass off small stacks of folding chairs to those heading back down. As he was preparing to take some himself, he noticed Candy walking towards the locker rooms…following the guy that had been bothering her this morning. He had a bad feeling. What on earth were they going to the locker room alone together for? What did this guy want now? And why did Candy follow him? Lysander left the chairs to the others still in the gym and made his way towards the locker room, somehow not noticed by anyone. He got close to the door and cracked it open to hear what they were talking about.

Candy: “What is going on?”

She sounded a little annoyed and apprehensive.

Dake: “Haha! Nothing, don’t worry. Actually, I think something about you has changed. I’m not lying when I say that you’re even more attractive than before.”

Candy: “Dake…”

Hmmm, Dake. That was his name. Lysander remembered now as he tried to remain calm, but it was becoming quite a challenge.

Dake: “And you know that you’ve had quite the effect on me since we met at the beach…”

Candy: “Hmm, uh…yeah?”

She sounded confused.

Dake: “Well, I know that you aren’t always very receptive of my advances…”

Candy: “Dake I appreciate it, but…”

Dake: “But you’re scared because I’ve never kissed you.”

Candy: “E-Excuse me?”

Dake: “If you let me…”

Lysander burst through the door and let it slam behind him as marched around the corner to confront this...this...heathen. His blood was boiling so much that his own skin felt hot with rage. Candy and Dake looked at him, Lysander remaining quiet at first, far beside himself with anger to be able to speak.

Dake: “What is it now?”

Such a rude, intrusive, pestering person this Dake fellow was. Lysander approached him, giving off a threatening demeanor. That wiped the grin right off Dake’s face.

Dake: “Hey, you’re scaring me. What’s your problem?”

Lysander: “My problem is that you spend your time bothering Candy. And my patience has its limits.”

Dake: “Hey, calm down. She doesn’t belong to you, that I know.”

Nor did she belong to Dake, but that doesn’t give Dake or anyone else the right to try and force a kiss on Candy...or bother her in any form...

Dake looked at Candy and his expression changed instantly when he saw her face. Her eyes kept darting to Lysander and then the floor.

Dake: “Oh…I get it. I didn’t know.”

Lysander: “There are lots of things you don’t know, obviously.”

Dake: “Alright, I get the message.”

Not fast enough for Lysander’s liking. Dake took a few steps towards the door…then he turned around.

Dake: “Actually, Candy…if ever you change your mind…you know who to call.”

Candy: “Oh gosh, Dake…”

Nathaniel: “Get out. Now.”

Dake shrugged his shoulders before leaving the locker rooms. Candy remained silent and gave Lysander a timid look. He recognized this look. Did..did she feel guilty? What for?

Candy: “Lysander, he just came to tell me...”

Nathaniel: “No. No, I don’t want to hear it.”

He heard pretty much everything anyway. No need to relive such a vulgar conversation.

Candy: “Please let me explain…”

His anger subsided, his expression softening as he saw the pleading look she was giving him.

Lysander: “It’s useless to worry about that.”

He caressed her cheek. He was just glad he arrived in time to ward off Dake before he tried anything...she was safe. That’s all that mattered.

Lysander: “I trust you.”

Candy relaxed, looking relieved.

Candy: “And about what I told you yesterday, I...”

Lysander: “I know why you acted like that. It just that it was hard to take in. But I guess you’ve changed your mind a bit about that...”

Candy slipped her hands into his.

Candy: “I made a mistake...And I miss you.”

She could never understand how much her words always seemed to impact him, good or bad. But right now, her words filled him with happiness once again and he couldn’t help but give her an endearing smile.

He wished they could remain here together alone for a while longer, but it was best not to linger much more.

Lysander: “We should go bring the chairs for the projection.”

Candy: “Oh yeah! The Projection! Let’s hurry.”

They left the locker room and gathered a few more chairs. There were still a few other people in the gym taking some back as well. As they walked down the hall, someone came around a corner rather quickly and almost collided with Candy.

Candy: “Oh gosh!”

Candy was started by Nina’s sudden appearance before she raced off towards the staircase. Nina didn’t even appear to notice Lysander, which he was grateful for, for once.

Lysander: “Nina...”

Candy: “She gives me the creeps...Do...Do you think we should talk to her?”

Lysander: “Not now.”

Candy said nothing more. But she had a point. He had to speak with Nina about her behavior. It was getting out of control.

Once they made their way to the basement, they set up the remaining chairs to face the wall where the projection would be played as students and parents began to try and find places to sit.

Candy: “I’m going to go join my dad…”

She was rather hesitant to leave him alone again. He smiled.

Lysander: “That’s a good idea.”

Candy: “See you after the film?”

But he didn’t hear her properly. Lysander was drifting into deep thoughts about how he would talk to Nina sometime afterwards...

Candy: Lysander?”

He snapped out of his stupor at the sound of Candy calling his name and looked at her. Concern washing over her face.

Candy: “Lysander, this can’t go on. You have to talk to me.”

Lysander: “I...I know.”

She was right. As much as he didn’t want to concern her with his personal troubles, he admitted he couldn’t keep this to himself much longer. He needed someone to talk to. He should have told in the beginning. She was always a good listener. But, he just felt that since their relationship was so new...just starting, that he shouldn’t bother her with this...worry her. In the end, however, Candy was worried regardless. She deserved to know. No secrets. He would answer questions once he spoke to Nina.

Lysander: “It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll tell you after the projection, if you want.”

Candy: “Okay...”

Satisfied for the time being, Candy walked over to her dad, and Lysander took a seat by Castiel and his parents.

Mr. Faraize: “Ahem, can I please have your attention? The projection is about to start in a few moments.”

He turned off the lights in the basement. Ms. Dalaney started the projection. Amber was apparently the star of the project. Lysander wondered if she insisted or if the group actually chose her to be the center of attention. Knowing her though, it was most likely the former. However, this film captured Amber with her less redeeming qualities. Tantrums, fits of anger and cries…there was a chance she may have not been aware her group members were filming her. The film ended and there was a few seconds of hesitation. Someone started clapping slowly…then faster and faster. It was Amber. A few people followed in clapping, but the applause remained hesitant.

Adeline: “I am so proud of you. You perfectly represented pride. You really have a gift for acting. Especially since it’s much harder to embody and idea rather than a character!”

Amber: “I improvised everything from beginning to end.”

Lysander saw Castiel roll his eyes.

After some more chit chat and mingling once the lights came back on, everyone was being directed out of the basement. Announcements of the winners of the expo would be taking place in the courtyard in a short while.

Lysander had planned to tell Candy what she wanted to know, but had overheard Mr. Faraize ask her to find Patrick. So Lysander decided to talk to Nina first. As he was wondering where to even begin to start looking for her once he reached the courtyard, he felt a pair arms hug him from behind. He whipped around to see it was Nina.

Nina: “Lysander! I finally have you to myself.”

Lysander: “Nina, we need to talk. Right now.”

He walked her away from the crowd a bit as the others gathered to hear the winners of the expo.

Nina: “I have been trying to talk to you all day!”

Lysander: “I realize that Nina, but please understand that I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. It’s been a rough few days.”

Nina: “I know! I was trying to talk to you to show my support! Especially after what happened with your dad. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Lysander: “Wait, my dad? What are you talking about?”

Nina: “I followed you to the hospital the other day. You looked so sad and I was worried about you. That’s when I saw that you were there for your dad, because he’s really sick. But, I’m here for you!”

Lysander: “You followed me?! To the hospital, are you serious?!”

Nina jumped. Her reaction was foreseen, as Lysander has never raised his voice to her. But this time, he couldn’t help it.

Nina: “W-Well I’m your biggest fan....and your biggest supporter. I always follow you when I can so I am ready to help you at any moment...you’ve never gotten angry with me about it before...”

Lysander: “You’ve gone too far. This concerns my dad!”

Nina: “B-But, I tried to...”

Lysander: “You secretly followed me to the hospital! You are completely crazy...”

He was absolutely livid. Nina had crossed the line this time.

Lysander: “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Nina began to tear up.

Nina: “P-Please don’t say that...I-I just wanted to know if I could do something to help you.”

Her not following him would have been helpful. Her staying out of his personal family life would have been helpful. Her following him and invading his privacy without his consent was far from what she was claiming to do. Lysander didn’t want to hear anymore excuses for her behavior. It was uncalled for under the circumstances.

Lysander: “I don’t want to continue this conversation any longer.”

Nina: “L-Lysander...”

She was crying now as she grabbed his arm, leaving tears on his sleeves.

Lysander: “Let me go.”

He ripped his arm away from Nina. She appeared shocked by his reaction and took a step back from him before running towards the school gates. As soon as she did, Lysander immediately regretted how he treated Nina. His anger towards her was instantly replaced by remorse. He had to apologize.

Lysander ran at after Nina at full speed, hoping to catch her. As he passed through the gates outside of the school, he saw her escaping towards the park. He chased after he, so unaware of his other senses or his surroundings, so overwhelmed with emotions and stress from what has transpired over the last few days...it all felt like too much to bear all at once. Lysander did not hear the motor of the car coming down the street on his left. In fact, the last thing he heard was the sound of Candy’s voice....screaming his name.

Candy: “LYSANDER!”

Then...everything went dark.

[tsukuyomi-chan]

Salvage Whatever’s Left after the Fire

Writing for the Trickster anime (the full name is actually Trickster: From Edogawa Ranpo’s “The Boy Detectives Club”) and while it isn’t the best show I do enjoy it a lot and I absolutely love Kobayashi.  It’s a Kobayashi character study, but it’s also Kobayashi/Hanasaki.  This was supposed to come out a lot earlier since a lot of it’s concurrent with episode 16 but I am a notoriously slow writer.

It’s basically just Kobayashi discovering Feelings.

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, blood, mentioned animal death, serious spoilers up until ep 16

Summary:

“Hanasaki Kensuke.”

“… A big freaking idiot.”

Kobayashi closes his eyes and dreams of death.  When he opens them, Hanasaki is there.

(Fanfiction.net | AO3)

The lights of the city are nothing but specks compared to how vast the dark sky is above.  They twinkle and dim and brighten to their own rhythm, as if competing with stars in the sky.  Today had been nothing but useless cases and annoying commands from everyone around him.  Kobayashi spends a few more moments looking at the lights, before walking back across the roof to the broken Ferris wheel cabin laying in the middle.  He curls up on the seat, trying to get comfortable under his jacket.  It’s cold, but not unbearable.

It almost becomes a tradition.  Kobayashi would close his eyes every night, finally tired of fruitless attempts to get somewhere with losing his life, and wonder if maybe he could peacefully pass in his sleep, and in the morning he would awaken to the sound of a too cheery Hanasaki, yelling something like  "Wake up, sleepy-head!  We have a case to solve!“ or something else equally irritating.

That tradition is broken when that Twenty Faces messes with both Hanasaki and Akechi Kogorou with that annoying incident at the mall, and all the sudden Kobayashi is back to sleeping in until whenever he feels like it, or when Inoue comes by to update him about a case.

The extra sleep is welcomed, but when he wakes up for the fifteenth time that month with no one standing over him, giving him a stunningly bright smile and spouting bad jokes by the second, he clicks his tongue.

"If you want to die so badly, I’ll kill you!”

Hanasaki was the first person Kobayashi had talked to in over a year.  Up until then, he had spent most of his time either sleeping or searching for food.  It was painful.  Staying out of the sight of other people so that no one would get suspicious, stealing food without getting caught but also eating enough so that trash wouldn’t get shoved down his throat by whatever accursed thing was haunting him, spending nights in the cold curled up in abandoned buildings and alleyways.   

He couldn’t feel warmth, he couldn’t feel full, he couldn’t feel happy, he couldn’t feel pain, he couldn’t feel other humans.  Everything before living on the streets with his accursed ability is a blur, and his memory is nothing but a few messy images that he doesn’t want to focus on. He wasn’t sure he was even human.

He’s fine with that. He hates humans.

(He hates how they irritatingly cling to whatever’s around them.  He hates how loud and boisterous about their superiority they are.  He hates how easily they got depressed about little problems, instead of actually trying to anything about them.  He hates how lucky they are, how they could choose to die whenever they wanted and actually die, while he couldn’t even do that.  )

But Hanasaki had gone right up to him, talking as if nothing was wrong, following him around and calling him cool, smiling at him as if he was no different from anyone around him. Kobayashi got dragged into a Boy’s Detective Club of all things.  And Hanasaki just kept dragging him around, forcibly involving him in activities of normal people, as if Kobayashi was normal as well.

Hanasaki was the first person to reach out to him, despite his ability.  And because of Hanasaki, now he was in contact with multiple others who barely minded his ability, in comparison to what he himself could do.

Inoue seemed just like the type of adult to hate Kobayashi, despite not even being that old yet.  But Inoue is rational and grounded and his justice doesn’t waver, and despite his legs being somewhat useless, he easily makes up and compensates for it.  And Kobayashi realizes that he’s beginning to find it as reliable as everyone else does.

Noro seemed almost understandable for Kobayashi, but her personality just didn’t fit.  Kobayashi could understand why she would stay inside all the time, not interacting with anyone except through electronics.  But she was loud and nosy and made her presence known even when she was just talking through an owl.  And maybe because she mostly viewed him through lens, she never thought of him as anything more than a sad kid.

Masaharu Katsuda is Inoue’s friend from school, who was on and off depending on whether he was needed for cases.  Kobayashi isn’t blind.  He could see the way he and Inoue looked at each other.  They cared for each other to a point where it seemed ridiculous how the other didn’t realize.  But that didn’t make the man any bit disrespectful to Kobayashi just because he was so focused on Inoue all the time.

He honestly doesn’t even know the two science club members at the school that well.  The older eyes him and his ability with interest, but merely as something to have fun with, not some inhumane experiment.  The younger panics easily, and is innocent to the point where it’s almost irritating.  But neither of them hold any grudges against him, give him any insults, and always greet him with a smile.

The police lady scares him, honestly.  Police are a scary idea.  Authority and power, two things that work terribly with his ability.  The lady is smart and cunning, but she’s caring at the same time.  She actually treats him and the rest of the club members like children, and continually gives them second chances.

Akechi Kogorou is a mystery. He’s an adult, and Kobayashi hates adults.  But he looks at Kobayashi and treats him like he’s just as respectable as all the other Club members.  That isn’t even a lot of respect, but he trusts Kobayashi for some strange reason, in both his freakish ability and also his own capabilities.  And maybe Kobayashi enjoys having that trust in him just a little.

Sometimes Kobayashi wonders if fate is messing with him.  He never wanted this cursed ability, but it’s here with him anyways. Then he didn’t want to get involved with anyone again, but then Hanasaki gets thrown into his life.  He hadn’t wanted anyone to get hurt because of his ability, but now Hanasaki was depressed and tired, and the Club was on the edge of disbandment.

(He’s tired of people getting hurt because of him, but that’s the only thing he can ever do)

Hanasaki continually tried to keep him busy, to distract him from his ability.  He was never scared, never discouraged, never gave up on Kobayashi after anything he did.  He watched the dog die from Kobayashi’s ability, and tirelessly chased after him until he was dragged into the Boy’s Detective Club.  He invited Kobayashi to live with the rest of them at the tower. Hanasaki threw a birthday party for him, and wished him Happy Birthday along with all the others, as if he and all the rest of them were happy that Kobayashi had been born, so that they could share a moment like this with him.  

Kobayashi wonders if that happy Hanasaki ever existed to begin with.  After that member of his family was hospitalized, and that Twenty Faces convincing him to do stupidly selfish things, all of those barriers around Hanasaki just suddenly broke.  It’s irritating.

Hanasaki is a weak human. Humans are alive, and all living things are frail and fragile and easily broken apart like Hanasaki had been, crying at his knees in front of Twenty Faces and sobbing for Akechi Kogorou to kill him.  He was pleased with himself, then upset, then frustrated, and then wanted to die so no one else got hurt.  Kobayashi hated it.  Seeing something like that in Hanasaki just didn’t fit.  It resembled himself so much that the memory kept playing in Kobayashi’s mind even weeks after, of Hanasaki begging for the same things that Kobayashi always said like a mantra.

He remembers jumping off that balcony after Hanasaki, and had never wished before that he could actually touch another human until then, had never wanted anything so much before in his life until then, when he was desperately reaching forwards to save Hanasaki, to save a life for once instead of hurt it.

Kobayashi remembers tingling resonating through his very being.  The tingling from the very tip of his fingers, where he began bleeding for the first time in forever, and from watching Hanasaki smile like they had all the time in the world, and Kobayashi remembers thinking that maybe if he stuck around, he could finally recall how to feel something.

“If I’m with him…”

Kobayashi might finally be able to leave everything behind.

The new client is irritating.  He won’t stop talking, which seemed to be getting on the nerves of even Inoue and the police lady.  All they had to do was escort the man to his new jail alive, but some people seemed to be set on killing him, and the man seemed to have no problems with that. And on top of all that, Hanasaki wasn’t picking up any of his calls.

But Kobayashi is a member of the Boy’s Detective Club now.  And as Inoue was always saying, “we have a reputation to uphold.” So Kobayashi plays the man’s game.

“Bird.”

Flying freely above him. “Sky.”

“Female.”

Noro, the police lady. “Not male.”

“Tomorrow.”

More useless time for him. “Don’t care.”

“Life.”

Not death. “Don’t need it.”

“Embrace.”

Kobayashi stops.  He can’t recall.  He can’t recall the last time anyone actually physically touched him, let along embraced him.  But it reminds him of the spare images in his head that he never figured out, and it hurts to think about it but the man is determined to make him think of them.

It gives him a bad feeling.

“I forget.”

The man really is creepy.

“Gun.”

Useless things that couldn’t kill him.  "Noisy.“

"Detective.”

Hanasaki and Akechi making promises to him.  "A way to die.“

"Akechi Kogorou.”

Sitting at his desk shouting orders.  "Reeks of booze.“

"Red.”

Blood, blood, always blood. The images of bloodstains on a room somewhere, a person, himself?  Something completely unknown to him but way too familiar, and he’s scared, he doesn’t want to know what it is.  It’s splattered everywhere.  "Wall.“

"Wall.”

Breaking through everything in his path.  "Crashed into.“

"Tears.”

Tears dripping down Hanasaki’s face, shown on every damn screen in the mall. “Disgusting.”

“Hanasaki Kensuke.”

Kobayashi thinks of the boy chasing after him.  He thinks of the boy solving mysteries happily.  He thinks of the boy’s face broadcasted on every screen with tears in his eyes, clinging to ridiculous things like love.  He thinks of the boy, grinning like limits didn’t exist, as he exclaimed how he was going to help Kobayashi finally die, walking up to him and even having fun with his unholy ability.  He thinks of Hanasaki, smiling and telling him next time for sure, next time for sure he’ll grant Kobayashi salvation at last.

“A big freaking idiot.”  Kobayashi replies.  

They continue up the tower, avoiding the people in black, running around corners are throwing traps at them.  The man doesn’t show any signs of giving up though, even with his death so close and likely. 

“Family.”

A life he couldn’t remember. “A bunch of lies.”

“Prison.”

Where all the criminals they put away went.  "A pig sty.“

"Adults.”

Cold eyes, calling him a freak, unaccepting and cruel.  "All garbage.“ 

"Embrace.”

Again?  Kobayashi grits his teeth when images flash again. A hospital bed, strange liquids flowing somewhere.  "Strings… no, tubes.“

"Mother.”

The dull throbbing lights above, buzzing constant from the flies everywhere.  "Stinks.“

"Father.”

A Ferris Wheel?  His Ferris Wheel?  Blood?  A tooth?  His tooth, covered in blood?  He doesn’t understand.  He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know any of it but it’s there and he hates this.  He hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this.  He never asked for any of this, he never wanted any of this, but this is what he gets, and he doesn’t understand why.

“It’s not unusual for a psychologically unstable child to develop special abilities, but yours are a cut above.”

He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t care what this guy, or what anyone else says.  All he ever wanted was to die so that he could finally be left alone, so that he could finally drift away into nothing where there was no one to be cruel to him anymore.

Humans are cruel creatures. That’s why he wants to quit being one.

He wouldn’t regret anything if he died.  He has no interest in anyone, in anything, and all he wants is the pain in his head to stop, that’s all he wants and dying would solve that and it would be better for everyone then if that happened.

(But Hanasaki’s still frowning, still occasionally turning away and crying when no one’s looking like an idiot, and Kobayashi might, just maybe, miss seeing that smile of his every morning)

They reach the top, with the red staircase leading up to the statue where he first met Hanasaki.  It feels like something in his head is going to burst.  It’s frustrating.  Lately, every single little thing’s been frustrating.  Inoue keeps secrets and isn’t able to keep anything together. Noro doesn’t know a single thing about what’s happening.  The three at the school have little to no interest or knowledge in what’s going on. Akechi Kogorou left, to somewhere no one knows.

He doesn’t recognize this feeling, but he thinks it might be longing.

The statue looks no different.  The flowers from his last visit a week ago are still here.  It’s annoying how this scenery stayed the exact same, when nothing else would.  No one else would mourn the death of the dog except for him, and no one would ever learn of its existence.  It would completely fade out of this world once him and Hanasaki were dead, the only two who had known about it.  The dead wouldn’t change, not nearly as much as the living do.  

Kobayashi feels strangely exposed, standing here with Inoue, the police lady, and the creepy man who kept seeing through who he was better than he himself could.  It makes him uncomfortable.

He calls Hanasaki again.

No one answers.

He clicks his tongue. “Don’t ignore me…”

He’s a child.  He has a tiny and frail weak body, and having no memories just makes him even younger mentally.  And the police lady is always reminding them to be careful, even him, because despite his immortal ability, he still has the mind of a child, and children and stupid and impulsive and grow ridiculous desires and easy attachments to whatever is in their reach.

And Hanasaki had been there at every twist and turn, happily trying to reach him as well.

And Kobayashi finally puts it together, staring at the statue marking their first meeting dumbfounded, as if the world had just crashed into him.  

He wants Hanasaki.

He wants Hanasaki to stay by him more, lead him around on cases, eat food together, show him different places and tricks that he’s picked up, do anything.  And not just that.  He wants to be able to walk down crowded streets, take the train, maybe even go to school with him.  He wants to try the games in Noro’s room together.  He wants to both lead around and get led around by Inoue.  He wants Akechi Kogorou to pat his head and tell him good job like he tells the others.

He wants to embrace Hanasaki, and wants the boy to embrace back.  He wants to hug the other boy, wipe away those almost ridiculously constant tears, and finally get the boy to smile again.  He wants to be able to curl up by the boy’s side and just finally rest peacefully together.  He wants to be able to reach his hand out to Hanasaki, and for the other to be able to grab it back and grin, and to pull each other forwards together.

He wants to be able to touch Hanasaki.

Kobayashi has never before detested his ability for robbing him of the warmth of other humans.  He looks up at the statue in the room, and the creepy man smiles out of the corner of his eye.

The reinforcements of the people in black show up.  Kobayashi doesn’t understand well what the man did, or his bizarre reasons behind it, but Kobayashi wants to hang onto the Boys Detective Club as much as any of the other members did.

He doesn’t want to lose this.

He barely understands humans, but he doesn’t think any of the others want to lose this either.

And yet Hanasaki isn’t even here.

“He’s acting weird.  What should I do?”

“What do you want to do about him?”

“I… want… to do something for him.”

He still remembers the laughter on the other end of the phone call, as if he was a child giving his opinion to problems way out of his scope. “Then just do to him what he did to you.”

He really did hate adults. They all spoke in riddles.  They all looked at his ability and began calling him a monster, a freak, something that they couldn’t understand and therefore rejected.  But Akechi Kogorou had trusted him to realize the solution to this himself.  And Kobayashi now realizes that the answer had been in front of him the whole time.

 He wasn’t about to let go.

 The people attacking them have a bomb.  His ability wouldn’t be able to protect the others from a bomb.  But he wasn’t about to let anyone get hurt right now. Hanasaki would be sad if anyone got hurt, and he was always diving right in to help others.  And maybe Kobayashi’s starting to understand the sentiment.

The detonater gets knocked out of the lady’s hand, but instead of Hanasaki it’s Akechi Kogorou who’s saving the day.  They deliver the creepy man into the helicopter safely as requested, and Kobayashi wonders if it’s a sense of pride that’s filling his chest as he watches the helicopter fly away.  

And while sitting at the bottom of the staircase far away from the others, listening to the briefing on how the conclusion to the case went, Hanasaki finally runs into the room.

About time.

“Kobayashi… I’m sorry I ignored all your calls…”

Hanasaki really was an idiot.  "You came, didn’t you?“  Kobayashi says.  "So you didn’t ignore them.”

 He could learn. He could learn about himself and his past slowly, and he could learn more about what kind of person Hanasaki actually was.  He could learn how to feel human again, how to interact with others again, and even how to smile again.  They could both learn together.  Step by step.

This sucks.

There’s a tingling in his gut, right to the side of his stomach is burning, and a weird thick liquid is spilling past his fingers where he grabs at it, dripping onto the floor in ominous splats.  It’s hot and it’s burning, but Kobayashi hasn’t felt that feeling in years.

His side hurts.  He screams.

This really sucks.  He can barely breathe.  His vision’s blurry and everyone else’s voices are muffled. His head feels heavy and dizzy, like he’s about to faint, and he starts to try and cough to breathe, but every choking noise just makes his side hurt more, and it’s so frustrating he can barely think. This sucks, it all sucks, and everything feels so heavy he just wants to collapse and sleep.

But now would be a terrible time to fall asleep.  If he falls asleep, he won’t be able to tell Hanasaki how much of an idiot he is.  He needs to tell Hanasaki to pick up calls faster next time, and to show up on time if there’s a case, and ask if they could still get hamburgers after this.  He needs to tell Hanasaki that it’s fine, they’d hold off on trying to grant Kobayashi’s wish for a while, until Kobayashi could get Hanasaki smiling like he used to.  

But words don’t reach his mouth, and he realizes Hanasaki has rubbed off on him more than he ever expected, because he’s expecting and hoping for a tomorrow to come now. Kobayashi lets himself fall, with no more strength left in him, and thinks about tomorrow.

When he opens his eyes, he hopes Hanasaki will be there.

[thedramafilesblog-blog]

Appearing before The Dramacourt: 20th Century Boy and Girl Eps 29 to 32 (Final)

***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

Issues:

Whether Young Shim’s character developed at all.

Whether the sudden love line between Anthony and the Director was necessary.

Whether the Lawyer Boss is still super awkward.

Whether Ah Reum’s “break up” with Woo Sung made sense.

Whether Young Shim’s Mom should have got a divorce.

Whether Ji Won not going to meet the ex is the best way to deal with the ex.

Whether Jin Jin and Ji Won are #relationshipgoals

The Rule(s):

Not really. We think she had the least character development of the lot.

Not at all.

Yes!!

No. Why all this angst at the last minute?

Definitely.

100%! This is exactly how exes should be dealt with.

Absolutely!

Analysis:

RedRosette J: IT’S OVER!!!!!! Now I have to go back to hating Mondays. Ugh. But real talk: overall, I thought the drama did very well is definitely in my top five dramas of 2017. The only problems that I had in these last few episodes were with the side characters and not really Jin Jin and Ji Won. It just feels like the writer spent all this time creating the perfect main leads and then scrambled at the last minute to finish the side characters so it felt a bit messy and all over the place. The biggest plot point that I wanted wrapped up was Jin Jin and her sister Ho Sung making amends. We did get a scene with Jin Jin at Ho Sung’s and I think that was the first step in them rebuilding their relationship. Everything worked out well for the other smaller characters too like Mi Dal and Assistant Boy who got married (!!) and Jin Jin’s little brother Min Ho who got rid of his pink hair and got a real job (LOL!).

Jubiemon J: Overall, I did enjoy this drama a lot, mostly due to the girls’ strong friendship and the cuteness between Jin Jin and Jiwon! Jiwon and Jin Jin seriously are relationship goals. I haven’t seen such a mature couple in a Korean drama for a while, so their dynamics were refreshing!

Like RedRosette said, there are still a few issues with how things wrapped up for the other characters. The biggest mystery of all is related to Ho Sung and her husband. At the end of the day, I still don’t understand why the family was so against Ho Sung and her husband. I wished that that had been explored in a deeper level. I also really didn’t like how stunted Young Shim’s character turned out to be. She seemed to be growing as seen from her attempts at punctuality and her standing up for her mother. Then . . . she just showed that nothing had really changed in the last episode. She suggested that her mother get a divorce and then later get all mad at her mother for wanting to go through with it. Like what? How immature are you? You’re not a middle school student or some kid anywhere. You’re already 36…. -0-‘

Making amends like…

When you aren’t buying whatever scheme your friend is trying to sell…

Such cuties

Super adorbs ❤

RedRosette J: I only wish that Jin Jin’s parents hadn’t found out about Ji Won and Jin Jin through the news like everyone else. It would have been nicer if they had just told them (but Min Ho’s horrified reactions made up for it so I’m not all that mad about it). Dad’s reaction bugged me a little but then again, I guess it can be disturbing for a parent to find out their “pseudo-son” is seeing their daughter LOL! I’m glad we also got some explanation as to why Jin Jin and Ji Won lasted all of three seconds together back in high school! Spoiler: Dad caught them kissing in the elevator!!

Jubiemon J: I was really confused about the dad’s reaction to Jin Jin and Ji Won. In previous episodes, he seemed to have noticed something between them and was all supportive and what not. Then when he really confirmed that they were together, he even threw out Ji Won’s shoes and started going all aggressive at him. Okay . . . Jin Jin is already 36 years old; she’s no longer a baby. It’s not like Ji Won is some criminal . . .

*cringe*

Hugs solve all problems

When your family finds out you’re dating someone…

This is what horrified looks like

Dealing with scandals head on

  Happy family 🙂

Issue 1: Whether Young Shim’s character developed at all

RedRosette J:  Young Shim’s character was the least well written. Her mousy, pushover persona didn’t change at all throughout the show. It would have been nice to see some character growth with her because she needed to change to stand up to her father and to be better at work. Although there was some change in her relationship with her father, there really wasn’t any change in her attitude or behaviour. But then again, in real life, people don’t really change all that much and maybe that’s what she represents.

Jubiemon J: I sort of alluded to this issue in the beginning of this post, so the short answer here is this: No, she did not develop at all as a character. I have to mention it again. I really was irritated when she told her mom to have a divorce and then the next day when she found out her mom wanted one, she got all angry at her mom. Okay . . . you’re the one that pitched the idea so own up to it.

Girl, you need to change.

Issue 2: Whether the sudden love line between Anthony and the Director was necessary

RedRosette J: OMG where did this come from? This whole Anthony ❤ Director Lady was done for “jokes” because actress Kim So Yeon who played the Director Lady is Lee Sang Woo’s real life wife. What the hell? It wasn’t even funny or cute and tbh there was like zero chemistry between the two of them anyway. This Anthony story line would have been so much better if he had retired from acting gracefully, got a real job doing something much better, the manager girl found a real actor for her agency, and if he went and found a normal girl and called it a day. Either that or if I was the writer, I would have sent Anthony on a Eat, Pray, Love style “self-discovery” journey abroad and called it day. Anthony seriously needed to get his priorities straight. Ugh.

Jubiemon J: The last part was totally unnecessary. I think the writer wanted everyone to have his/her happy ending, but life isn’t like that. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be content, okay? Not everyone gets together at the same time period, all right? I also don’t think it was fitting that somehow Anthony had some happy ending. He, as a character, didn’t develop much either. Sure, he did try his best to act, but . . . there didn’t seem like a difference. He also still liked to play the hero. So ugh.

Issue 3: Whether the Lawyer Boss is still super awkward

RedRosette J: Every week I keep hoping for him not to be awkward, and every week he ends up becoming more awkward. I can’t. I’m done with him.

Jubiemon J: The awkwardness is born within him. That random “you can hold my hand” scene made me laugh so hard and cringe on his behalf.

  Issue 4: Whether Ah Reum’s “break up” with Woo Sung made sense

RedRosette J: I really didn’t understand why Ah Reum wanted to break up with Woo Sung. It seemed like she was afraid of the person she was becoming in front of her potential in-laws but that hardly seems like a reason to break up. She talked about how she just wanted to married and didn’t really think about what marriage actually entails and then maybe I missed something but somehow all of that got resolved and there she was getting back together with him. Huh? And girl, you can’t be doing this to the poor guy. Breaking up and getting back together with him whenever you want; that’s some serious emotional mind games girl. Honestly, Ah Reum seriously needed to grow up. She was constantly behaving like a teenager and come to think of it, she didn’t really change much either.

Jubiemon J: I think Ah Reum just got cold feet with all the seriousness of what a marriage entails. Getting married doesn’t just mean marrying the guy; it’s about marrying the family too. I think she was also super worried that her own lifestyle would be changed and just wasn’t ready to face that. Her idea of marriage had always been this super idealized, albeit Disney version of this. Then when she met those sisters, reality sort of sunk in more and she probably got scared and thought everything would be better if she were single. I wished she had dealt with her fear better and talked to Woo Sung about her worries instead of running away from her fears. That made me feel like Ah Reum, as a character, had fallen flat.

Issue 5: Whether Young Shim’s Mom should have got a divorce

RedRosette J: Absolutely she should have got a divorce! She lived in actual fear in her own home! Young Shim’s Dad may not have hurt her physically, but he was emotionally abusive to her to the point where she was afraid to eat in her own home. What the hell? that’s not a good environment to be in. At the end, we do see Young Shim’s Mom fighting back by not responding to every demand the Dad makes but it hasn’t lessened his barking at her at all.  Ideally, she should have actually gone through with the divorce. However, the reality is that for many women like Young Shim’s Mom, divorce would leave them with no real way of supporting themselves financially, so this means that many women like her end up staying in toxic relationships.

Jubiemon J: I think it’s hard to say whether or not she should have gotten a divorce because divorce is really a sensitive/personal topic. I, personally, don’t feel comfortable saying directly whether someone should have divorced/not in this case. I can see why she chose not to and I’ll list them here. First, her mother has no source of income and doesn’t seem to have much money saved in her own account, and so she is very dependent on her husband. Second, her mother doesn’t seem to be the type that is strong enough to just start living independently and to find any type of work by herself. Third, Young Shim showed that she was against this divorce, so the mother might have felt that and was influenced by Young Shim’s behaviour. Fourth, perhaps Young Shim’s mother is scared of being alone.

RedRosette J Aside: Also Young Shim giving advice to her Mom regarding her divorce in a professional capacity is a no-no because there’s a huge conflict of interest when it comes to family and is generally not recommended.

Get someone else to help.

Issue 6: Whether Ji Won not going to meet the ex is the best way to deal with the ex

Jubiemon J: I am so happy that Ji Won didn’t go off to meet his ex and resolved this situation over the phone. I think Ji Won is one of the more developed characters in this drama. He realizes that he can’t keep dwelling on the past and to move on, he has to directly respond to his ex. The only thing that I wished he had done was to tell Jin Jin about his ex, instead of Jin Jin confronting him. Jin Jin was seriously super kind and open minded to not get mad at Ji Won for hiding this past of his.

RedRosette J:  I agree. I really wish more drama male characters would make choices like Ji Won. It was enough to resolve his issue with the ex over the phone. All it required was an honest conversation and didn’t require a face o face meeting. Also, calling your ex under the pretense of returning old shoes? Really? Does she honestly think that Ji Won was born yesterday? What a snake! I also agree with Jubiemon that Ji Won should have told Jin Jin about the ex first. She’s already so open minded and accepting, its the least he could have done. And honestly how refreshing was it to see two drama characters talk about the ex in a mature, logical way instead of behaving like hormonal pre-teens?

That’s right. Don’t be meeting your snake of an ex!

Issue 7: Whether Jin Jin and Ji Won are #relationshipgoals

RedRosette J: These two have been by far my favourite kdrama couple of 2017. It’s rare to see a mature, loving relationship with two well written characters and these guys are definitely #relationshipgoals.

The feels…

Awwww

Cake Proposal: simple yet super romantic

When you wanted to go out but he takes you to your usual hangout…

Did it just get hot in here? *fans face*

#goals

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 5 = KYAH! ❤ (We absolutely loved this drama and it will be sorely missed!)

File No: 20th-Century-Boy-and-Girl-EPS-29-to-32 (Final) Appearing before The Dramacourt: 20th Century Boy and Girl Eps 29 to 32 (Final) ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read 

[spynotebook]

Image: CW.

Greeting, my Global Express Guaranteed packages of fun. Sorry “Postal Apocalypse” is a day late, but this time I did an extra extra-long version to make up for it—you get a free 50 percent more of my shenanigans! This week: The future of Batfleck! The future of Ghostbusters! The future of the Star Wars prequels! And I’m finally back to answering questions about where superheroes go to the bathroom.

Broken Arrowverse

Mike W.:

Greetings Postman! I had originally started watching the CW’s Arrow a few years ago when the first season debuted on Netflix, and continued with the second season when it was released (I prefer most shows in binge-watching form).

Friends who had watched the Arrow and Flash when they originally aired suggested that I start alternating episodes, because there were several crossover episodes throughout the season. I think that was good advice because some pieces of those crossovers may not have made sense taken out of the context of where both shows were at.

Now alternating between episodes of two shows wasn’t terrible. Occasionally I would forget to switch over and just hit “play next” and not realize my mistake until something regarding Flash happened on Arrow that hadn’t been mentioned yet in Flash, or vice versa. These spoilers, or even information that made no sense out of context bugged me every time!

The next set of seasons were released on Netflix, only this time the CW threw the Legends of Tomorrow in the mix as well! Alternating between three series at the same time seemed like a lot of work so I kept putting it off... only to have Supergirl get tossed into the crossover blender the season after that!

Is it worth watching all four shows concurrently for the crossover episodes? Bouncing back and forth seems like a lot of work, and I’m not sure if the order is consistent or if some shows missed episodes here and there , and if the ties between crossovers are important to each show then it seems like it might be frustrating if they were out of order. What do you suggest?

Honestly, as long as you account for the crossovers—and not even all of those—it can be reasonably uncomplicated for you to catch up. Sure, there’ll be a few references or asides to things that have happened in the other shows, but they’re few and far between, and never that important. Look, if they bug you they bug you, but trying to watch every episode of four TV series in the order they aired sounds like it would be infinitely more irritating. So I suggest trying this instead:

Arrow seasons one and two

Arrow season three, episodes 1-7

Flash season one, episodes 1-8 (episode 8 begins the first Arrow crossover)

Arrow season three, episodes 8-23 (episode 8 concludes it)

Flash season one, episodes 9-23

Arrow season four, episodes 1-7

Flash season two, episodes 1-8

Arrow season four, episodes 8-23 (same deal as Arrow s3 and Flash s1)

Flash season two, episodes 9-23

Legends of Tomorrow season one

Supergirl season one

Here’s where it gets a bit wackier, thanks to the “Invasion” crossover, and the Flash/Supergirl musical episode.

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Arrow season five, episodes 1-7

Flash season three, episodes 1-7

Legends of Tomorrow season two, episode 1-6

Supergirl season two, episodes 1-8 (ep. 8 verrrrrry technically starts “Invasion”)

Flash season three, episode 8 (“Invasion” part two)

Arrow season five, episode 8 (“Invasion” part three)

Legends of Tomorrow season two, episode 7 (“Invasion” part four)

Arrow season five, episodes 9-23

Flash season three, episodes 8-16

Supergirl season two, episodes 8-16

Flash season three, episodes 17-23 (ep. 17 is the Flash/Supergirl musical)

Supergirl season two, episodes 17-22 (there’s no ep. 23)

Legends of Tomorrow season two, episodes 8-17

Since Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow are stand-alone after “Invasion,” it really doesn’t matter when you watch the rest of their seasons.

And yes, I recognize there’s technically a Flash/Supergirl crossover in seasons two and one, respectively, but it’s actually more of a cameo. Basically, the Flash shows up for an entire Supergirl episode; in the corresponding Flash episode, the Flash disappears for a couple of minutes while running around the multiverse; when he gets back to Earth-One he says, “Boy, that was weird!” or something. You 100 percent do not need to rearrange your viewing order to accommodate it, or anything else, in my opinion.

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Let the Hate Flow Through You

Andrew M.:

Dear Mr. Postman, I have a habit of forming complicated non-binary opinions after reading a book or watching a movie. Instead of just loving or hating something and then either gushing or complaining for the next hour, I more often declare frankly whether I enjoyed it or not, and then want to talk about everything both positive and negative. This has led to me having a reputation among my friends as someone who “hates everything.” Anytime I see a movie, if I don’t totally love it, I’m attacked.

And if it sounds like I’m just a buzzkill, I’m not certain that’s the case, either. I’m often very positive, I just like full discussions where we can talk about what did and didn’t work. Sure, I can be negative (I didn’t enjoy Rogue One and actually fell asleep during it, while Flash throws me into a weekly blind rage), but not everything’s going to win you over.

This has even ruined some of my nerd interests. Despite being a huge fan, I fell completely out of Doctor Who and stopped watching years ago because any fans I met would get offended if the discussion got even a little gray. And it’s no fun to be in a fandom and not talk to anyone.

Am I too harsh on my media? Should I lie and pretend I love everything? Should I stop discussion altogether?

Andrew, this is a question close to my heart, as I too look at things with a critical eye and am frequently accused of being a hater (as are my coworkers, as is io9 as a whole). To be fair, I do hate many things, and I have often hated things professionally; however, anyone who reads io9 regularly and has object permanence should be able to see that all of us here love a lot more than we hate.

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But once someone is convinced you’re a hater, it’s hard to shake the preconception. Say you and your friends watch Wonder Woman, and you find it flawless. Just perfect in every way. Your friends may be surprised at your opinion, but in a few weeks when you all watch Transformers: The Last Knight and point out it is senseless garbage, they’ll immediately call you a full-time hater again.

There’s not much you can do about this, unfortunately. Some people don’t understand thinking critically about art is really about understanding it fully, and gaining a deeper appreciation of it overall. They also don’t understand that even if you feel something has flaws, that doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like it. The two aren’t mutually exclusive! (And since my opinions are broadcast to a wide audience, some of those people just want to have their own opinions validated, and feel attacked if I disagree, as if I’m calling them dumb. Then they attack me to make themselves feel better. I’m assuming your friends aren’t this bad.)

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You just need to find friends who actually enjoy discussing the movie’s merits and flaws with you, and are secure enough that they can disagree with you without freaking out. They exist somewhere. At the very least, I feel totally confident in telling you that most io9 commenters on James Whitbrook’s Doctor Who coverage will agree with you that modern Doctor Who is not wholly without fault.

Image: Disney.

The Phantom Menace Pain

John H.:

Dear Mr Postman, how and when will Disney get around to fixing the Prequels? From a certain point of view, this has to happen. Those three movies are the dogs of the film franchise and they need to make a return on Disney’s investment. There’s no way The Mouse just lets them hang out, sucking in substantially less money than the other six.

First is the how – do they re-edit and make minimal reshoots? Hire one of the fan editors to use their ideas? Maybe fuse I and II together? Or maybe they declare the first three non-canon and start over?

Second is the when – wait until after George Lucas is one with the force? Until they run out of ideas for stand-alone movies? Wait a decade to build up nostalgia and demand?

Screwing around with Star Wars films is a time-honored tradition that Lucas himself started, so there’s really no reason not to. What’s your take?

Alas, you’ve begun with a false premise. While the prequels may make nominally less than the original trilogy—although nine times out of 10 you’re forced to buy all six Lucas movies at once, so it’s not actually much less—what they make is almost totally profit. Sure, there’s manufacturing costs and residuals to the cast and crew, but that’s built into the cost. Disney doesn’t have to touch a thing, and the prequels will continue to make a decent profit for them.

And there’s no reason to do anything to them when those resources would be better spent on churning out new Star Wars movies, each of which will probably make around a billion dollars. That’s a significantly better use of time and talent, with much higher returns. Basically, the prequels are profitable enough to keep, but not profitable enough to bother messing around with.

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I also have a feeling that Lucas included a few legally-binding demands when he sold Star Wars to Disney, one of which could be “You can’t make any alterations to my Star Wars films,” which would be understandable if somewhat ironic. I also worry that he demanded Disney never release the non-Special Editions of the original trilogy, in revenge for all of us bitching so much about the prequels. I can’t know this for sure, but I am 100 percent certain that if Lucas had demanded these conditions before he sold them the franchise, Disney would have absolutely agreed to them.

Intentional Cowl

David O.:

Following on from the question about casting an old Batman at the start of a DC cinematic universe, do you think if the whole shebang went on long enough that we’d see a new non-Bruce Wayne Batman on the big screen?

Supposing he just gets too old or has one too many “Sad Affleck” moments to want to stick around, do you think WB would give us Damien, Terry, or even Dick under the cowl? Or do you think they’d sooner recast the part?

Affleck is totally gonna bolt long before WB is ready to reboot the DCEU. Since they’re trying to establish a continuity—and because trying to find someone to replace Affleck a la Kilmer and Clooney is a losing proposition—I’m betting that Affleck passes the cowl. Now, whether there’s actually a full Batman movie where this happens, or whether it happens in the first five minutes of the movie, or it happens offscreen before the film because Affleck is just so sick of this superhero bullshit depends on so many factors—Affleck, his contract, how fast WB manages to actually make these film—that it’s impossible to predict.

As for who he passes the cowl to, I’m calling it now: Damian Wayne. First of all, WB is planning on making a Nightwing movie; assuming this actually happens, they’ll want both Batman and Nightwing movie franchises. Meanwhile, Damian’s been Robin in the comics since 2009, and has been regularly showing up in DC’s animated movies and the very popular Injustice video games. He’s even in the recent animated Judas Contract movie, despite that being an adaptation of a Teen Titans tale from the ‘80s.

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Basically, Damian has taken over the role of Robin in pop culture, and is more associated with the character than Dick Grayson or Jason Todd or Tim Drake at this point, and the DC live-action movies are much more interested in modern takes on these characters than any kind of legacy anyway. Also, tell me that “Batman has a kid he doesn’t know about who is raised by a league of assassins” isn’t the most DCEU thing you can think of. Ya can’t.

Image: Satellite of Love/Netflix.

Movie Sign of the Times

James M.:

With the return of MST3K to Netflix it would seem that a lot of opportunities could arise for the series that were not possible before. Netflix has the rights to a host of movies and I would enjoy seeing Jonah and the bots’ take on Michael Bay’s TMNT or Prometheus.

Is this likely or should the Satellite of Love crew focus on older, more obscure pieces?

As an uber-fan, I want—nay, need—MST3K to stick to older, cheesy movies. To me, it’s intrinsic to the show’s DNA, and watching the ‘Bots riff a big budget modern movie, no matter how terrible, would feel wrong. I know full well that Rifftrax does this for many big movies, including some genuine hits, and I love when they do it, and I love them, but I don’t think something like Prometheus would fit with MST3K’s low-fi, garage-built sensibilities.

Besides, the reason Rifftrax can do this is because they’re literally offering their own commentary track for the films. There’s absolutely no way Paramount or any major studio would consider licensing out their big films to MST3K for mocking.

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A film would have to be so old and so terrible that giving it to Jonah and the ‘Bots would provide the maximum revenue stream, and it would still have to outweigh the shame of making a movie so bad it deserves to be put in the same league as Manos: The Hands of Fate, Monster A-Go-Go, the Coleman Francis trilogie, and the rest.

All that said, as time marches on, the revenue streams and hubris regarding these films will dwindle. Maybe in 2040, Crow and Tom Servo will be making fun of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, because it’ll feel as old and terrible as Starcrash seems now. But I imagine—and hope—that they won’t be running out of pre-1990 targets anytime soon.

Image: Sony.

Giving Up the Ghostbuster

Joe C.:

I think we can all agree that Ghostbusters 2016 was not a success. It did not make its money back, eliminating a sequel with this cast and crew. However, it wasn’t bad enough to kill the franchise. So I ask, where does Ghostbusters go from here?

Do they do another reboot with new characters again? A reboot with the original characters but recast? An animated movie is in the works, but word has been mum on that.

In my world of imaginary optimal outcomes, I would love to see a new GB cartoon. You get the original GBs back, add some new ones, make it take place after the video game (or GB2 for simplicity) and add adult humor. Some of the funniest moments in the original movie are the jokes that go over kids’ heads. Unfortunately an adult oriented GB cartoon won’t sell action figures, so that option’s probably off the table.

Right now this franchise is like a bunch of tangled Christmas lights; nobody knows how to untangle it, so fuck, why not just go out and buy a new set?

Well, that “new set of Christmas lights” is essentially what the movie reboot tried to be, and it didn’t work out. Rights holders Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd may be eager to try again, but studios like Sony won’t be. You can hope for any incarnation of the team you want, but unless Bill Murray agrees to star—which he absolutely won’t, as the last 30 years have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt—studios aren’t going to take a chance on a new movie for years, probably more than a decade.

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A cartoon is more likely, but not by much. Cartoon Network and Disney XD are way more interested in making shows based on their own properties (e.g. Adventure Time and that Gumball show, and DuckTales and Marvel’s stuff respectively) because if they own it then they get the profits if it’s popular enough to sell DVDs and merchandise. Toys aren’t as much of a factor as they used to be, because basically only the biggest, most popular franchises sell action figures nowadays—which is the same reason why Pokémon and Transformers are cartoons owned by other companies that CN and Disney XD are willing to air.

But if Reitman and Aykroyd license out Ghostbusters as a kid’s cartoon, that’s going to kill the chance of a new movie, because studios will feel it can only be a cartoon. I know this isn’t logical, but I’m not pretending it is; studios want PG-13 movies, so Hollywood execs will instantly decide if Ghostbusters is right for kids’ cartoons, it can’t possibly right to make a $150 million movie about (and the last movie didn’t help).

Reitman and Aykroyd know this, and the movie is recent enough that I’m sure they still have hope of getting a new live-action film. Even if a network wanted it, I doubt they’d be willing to do a Ghostbusters cartoon for the foreseeable future.

Image: Lucasfilm.

I Only Meant to Stay a While

Spessartine:

Dear Postman of the Future,

Although national anthems probably died in the societal collapse that you miraculously survived, I’m sure you vaguely remember some kind of patriotic ditty associated with sporting events and the like.

Here’s my question: suppose that Nerdom/Geekdom decided to declare itself an official something-or-other, and as part of the package, we had to choose one anthem for all us, to be played before every con, cruise, and filk concert for the rest of this century.

What would that anthem be? Is it a classical piece? Is it an instrumental mash-up of themes? Is it “I Ship It” ? What, in your notably nerdy opinion, could possible do the job?

Well, if nerd-dom declared its anthem it would either Luke’s theme from Star Wars, or “The Imperial March.” Just like when I called Star Wars the most quoted movie of all time, it also has the most instantly iconic and beloved music, and these are the two songs that the largest majority of nerds in the world would actually agree upon as a song to represent them as an entity. There’s no other music that comes close to be as universally accepted among our kind.

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However, when I’m finally elected King of Nerds, I will be declaring “Twilight” by E.L.O. as the national nerd anthem, because it’s nerdy as hell, it’s catchy as shit, and has this amazing scifi music video:

That’s not an official music video, as you might suspect; it was the animated intro for the opening ceremony of a Japanese scifi n’ anime convention called Daicon IV, held back in 1983, which totally didn’t properly license the music but I assume were forgiven because it’s so amazing. Fun fact: The guys who made this went on to form Studio Gainax, including Evangelion creator/director Hideaki Anno.

Image: DC Comics.

  Flash in the Bed Pan

Jason W.:

Dear postman,

You seem like a man who knows a thing or two about fictional characters’ bathroom habits. So does Iron Man pee in his suit or what? Similar question: Does Batman use the rooftops of Gotham as his own personal outhouse?

I am dead certain that Iron Man’s suit takes care of all his waste, and drops it surreptitiously when he flies around so no one notices. I am merely very confident Batman’s suit also accommodates his number ones and number twos, probably—and more than a little disgustingly—containing them until he gets back to the Batcave. However, it’s worth remembering that Bruce almost never eats or drinks, and probably takes some ultra-efficient vitamin of his own devising that gives him the energy he needs with producing little to no waste, so such a thing would very rarely need to be utilized.

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If you doubt me, please remember that Kevin Smith did once retcon Batman’s origin—in continuity at the time, amazingly—that Batman pissed his pants at one point during his Year One. If the legendarily prepared Batman was too young to have thought about this potential problem then, he certainly addressed it afterward.

Guys! Thanks for all the great questions! You keep emailing the postman, I’ll keep trying to answer more, So send your questions, concerns, arguments that need settling, pleas for advice, and whatever else the heck you want to postman@io9.com!