#it gets hot wired every 30 seconds because SOMEONE is too weird about asking for the keys

[fiddles-ifs]

I remember in the old demo, you could kiss Bautista and then... I think the tracker runs away if I remember right? Would be incredibly funny if both the tracker's and Bautista's place to hide is in Bautista's car so Bautista gets there but the tracker is already in there so they cant even hide in their own goddamn car 😂

That’s the team car now.

[mayraki]

“the adventures of babysitting” - jj maybank

-> hvitstark’s gif!

summary: when the cute boy who mows the lawn for the kook family you babysit shows up, weird and unexpected events start to happen.

masterlist

Babysitting wasn’t something you planned to do when summer started, but when you saw that lonely dollar that you had in your pocket you decided to change that. And what better way, than to take care of the rich kids when their parents are too focused on their golf sessions?

It didn’t took you long to find a parent like that, since in Outer Banks, 90% of the parents had the stupid necessity to go golfing every day, leaving their poor kids on the house. Well, “poor” is a matter of speech, because if you had a pool the side of your entire house and free WiFi to play any game that ever existed, you wouldn’t complain.

“The food is in the refrigerator. Maybe start making it at 12 pm, she likes to eat early.” Mrs. Johnson was saying while she had her big bag on her shoulders, ready to leave the house. “Lily!” She yelled so loudly that you squint your eyes for the sudden scream. “Oh, and before I forget, in a couple of hours the boy that’s going to cut the grass is going to show up. But you don’t have to do anything, he already knows his way around the front yard.” You nodded with a little smile.

“Great!”

“Lily! Get down here, now!” She yelled so firmly that you could tell the fire on her eyes, making you feel a little bit intimidated by the rich house wife. As soon as she went back to you, a smile appeared on her face again changing her expression completely in a matter of one second, making you feel a little bit scared. “Do you have any more questions for the day?”

“No! I’m fine, we’ll be fine.”

“Y/n!” You heard the little girl calling your name while she was running to welcome you with a hug.

“Lily! Come here you little angel!” You picked her up so she could wrap her arms around your shoulders.

“Lily, behave.” Mrs. Johnson said and Lily nodded.

“Yes, mommy, like always.”

“No cookies until lunch is over, got it?”

Lily nodded again, this time more quicker. “Got it.”

Not trusting her daughter, Mrs. Johnson turned to you. “Got it?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Mrs. Johnson gave Lily a kiss on the forehead before walking towards the door. “See you later Mrs. Johnson!” You waved until you saw her outside and she was no longer in your sight.

“Do you want to see my barbie?” Lily said once her feet touched the ground.

“Sure!”

“Cool! Let me look for it.” She grabbed your hand to walk you to her room. “I did a makeover that took me the whole week. Because when I got her she was so ugly, the change was necessary.” She was saying like a professional fashion icon. Her sass was one of your favorite things about her. “That’s what my mom says all the time. If you don’t like something, you change it so it fits you.” After a walk that seemed to took forever since the house was bigger than the whole frontyard itself, you arrived at her room. While Lily was looking for her barbie to show you, you went over her room like it was the first time your eyes were seeing it. The wall colors looked like an unicorn had throw up in them and then a fairy had her glitter thrown at it. The main color was pink, her bed, her night stand, her desk, even her TV was the color pink. You never hated that color, but her room was making you feel nauseous. It was all so colourful and an interesting thing to look at, but the thing that always caught your attention was the thousand posters of the movie ‘Frozen’. Elsa, Anna and all of those characters you couldn’t remember the names where in her wall smiling. They were so many of them that you started to feel creeped out by them. “Here she is!” Finally, Lily found her barbie as was already walking towards you with her toy in her hand waving it like she was trying to get something out of her. She handed the barbie to you with the biggest and proudest smile ever, but the moment you grabbed the toy the smile disappeared from your face for a second.

“Oh my-” the normal long hair that Barbies have isn’t longer in this one, it was short and it looked like some punk girl from the 80’s with he hairs all lift up. You didn’t even know if it was punk, she looked like she touched a wire with a fork! She had a short dress that looked like it had been on dirt, washed but then she fell on grass, making it look even more dirty and destroyed. Her skin was painted red and blue with some pink dots all over her body. She definitely didn’t had a good day. You looked at Lily and noticed the proud smile and the excitement on her eyes as you were watching the barbie, so you put your biggest fake smile on your face not wanting to break the poor girl’s heart. “She looks wonderful!”

“I know! I’m good at it!”

You quickly nodded. “Yeah!”

“Maybe I can be a fashion designer when I grow up!” Lily started clapping and grabbed the barbie from your hand while you were nodding non stop not knowing what to say.

Models from the future; I’m so sorry and good luck.

You thanked the Gods for Lily not wanting to show you anymore of her creations, instead she wanted to watch a movie, and as soon as she said that, you already knew what she wanted to see.

“Let it gooooo! Let it goooooo!” You heard Elsa sing while Lily’s eyes were glued to the TV, her body was slowly moving while she was whispering the song. You knew she loved the movie so much she never wanted to outsing Elsa, and deep down, you were grateful for that.

“Yes, please Elsa,” you said in a whisper not wanting Lily to hear you while you were sitting down in the couch behind her “let it fucking go. Stop it.” As soon as you tilted your head backwards annoyed, a sound came from the front yard. “What was that? You asked with your eyes glued to the door, but there was no response from Lily, since her little mind was too focused on the movie. You headed to the window to cheek what it was while all the horror movies and serial killers documentaries went through your mind. With your heart beating a little faster you opened the curtains and wondered with your eyes your surroundings, but nothing was there. You were calming down until you heard your phone rang in your pocket, making you jump from the scare.

“What’s up bitch?” Your best friend, Hannah, said on the phone once you picked up.

“Hi, I’m babysitting.” You said still checking the front yard.

“Oh, got it, you have to watch your tongue.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think this kid is listening to me right now, Elsa has that covered.” You did quick look on Lily, who’s eyes were still glued to the TV.

“Ugh, I hate that movie.”

“I don’t. But the amount of times I watched it here isn’t helping on that.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Checking if the guy- oh my god.” You stopped as soon as your eyes noticed a boy standing in the front yard. Because he was too far away you could only see clearly his blonde hair and his dark brown boots. He had a white shirt on and some light brown shorts, he was far, but the way he was moving and carrying himself was what attracted you and made your eyes stare at him twice, making sure you were seeing correctly.

“What?”

“The guy that cuts the grass for this family is...” you did a quick turn to Lily to check if she was listening, but she was still too focused on the movie. You turned back to see the boy, but before you could continue your sentence, Hannah spoke before you.

“Hot?”

“Oh, more than that.”

“Who is it?” Hannah said intrigued.

“Can’t see, he’s too far.”

“What is he doing?” You saw how his arms tensed when he grabbed some machine you never saw before. They were so strong that you suddenly got the need to walk towards him touch them, but that would be extremely weird.

“I don’t know, turning the machine I guess.” You tried to focus more on his face and try to figure out if you knew him, but he was too far for your poor sight.

“Go talk to him.”

“What? No!”

“Why not? He’s hot, you’re hot. Perfect match.”

“He is definitely a...” Again, you turned around making sure Lily wasn’t hearing. Even if she wasn’t, you choose your next words carefully. “major babe.”

“Major babe?” Hannah let out a tiny laugh. “What are? 30?”

“The kid is still here!” You whispered loudly.

“What is a major babe?” Fuck.

You turned around to see Lily standing there with her Barbie between her hands. The movie was still playing but it looked like your conversation gained her attention even more.

“What? Oh, nothing.” You shook your head with your phone still against your ear. “Don’t worry about it baby. Keep watching Elsa.”

“I want to know what that means.” Lily said with her firm tone, letting you know she wasn’t going to let it go.

“I think you’re in trouble.” Hannah said on the other side, and you knew she was trying to not laugh at your current situation.

“Bye!” You ended the call before leaving your phone in your pocker to kneeled down and be closer to Lily’s face. “A major babe is someone who is... cute.” You said trying to choose the perfect words. Explaining something like this to a six year old isn’t something that you would ever choose to do.

“Cute?” Lily asked confused.

“Yeah, pretty.”

“Like Elsa?”

“Yeah? Yeah!”

You thought the conversation was over when Lily let out a giant smile and nodded convinced. But then, she opened her mouth: “So you think the guy who cuts the grass is pretty?”

“Well-” You got up trying to take those thoughts out of her mind, but before you could say anything Lily started clapping excited.

“You do! Y/n and JJ sitting in a tree-” She started singing but you stopped hearing once you heard the name ‘JJ’.

“Wait, JJ? The guy’s name is JJ?” You said confused, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was.

“Yeah! He comes every week since last year!”

“JJ? JJ Maybank?” You were praying Lily was going to shake her head and say it was another JJ, but deep down you knew there wasn’t any other guy with that name.

“Yeah!” Lily said happily, unaware of your thoughts and your not so happy face.

Well, fuck.

“Oh my god.” You said when it finally hit you. “Sweetie, I think Anna is dying.” You said gently turning Lily towards the TV.

“Oh no!” She went back to the movie. You turned to the window and moved the curtain while a sigh came out of your mouth.

JJ Maybank. The guy that was known for being the life of the party, getting into trouble or starting a fight. He would almost every time leave the party with some girl around his arm. You weren’t going to lie, you wished sometimes you were that girl. Having a crush on a boy that doesn’t know you exists isn’t... the best. You met JJ at school when you were a kid and that’s when it all started, when he defended you from some Kook kid that was annoying you at lunch. The crush didn’t grew more, the opposite, it went down passing the years. But that didn’t stop you from looking at him when he showed up at the party you were at or feeling nervous when he was around. You weren’t the type to do so, but there was something about him that made you feel as awkward as you could ever be.

The fact that he was in the same house as you made you feel something inside your stomach, making you move uncomfortably in your sit while Lily was watching, for the second time, Frozen. You don’t have to talk to him, there’s nothing to worry about. You were thinking over and over again trying to calm yourself down. Or maybe this is your opportunity to talk to him. You thought in Hannah’s voice, since she knew about your crush she would often say that you should start a conversation with him, or at least introduce yourself.

You didn’t know if he knew who you were. You only talked once, back when you were kids and you thanked him for defending you. That was it. You remembered it, but you were sure he didn’t.

C’mon, what are you waiting for? Go offer him some water! Hannah’s voice was saying in your head like she was next to you giving you the courage you needed to do so. And somehow, it worked. After making sure Lily was safe while watching the movie, you walked towards the kitchen and poured water on a cup to bring outside.

As soon as your hand touched the door to open it, you felt the heat of the sun touching your skin and you heart beating faster, already knowing your next moves.

You saw him getting ready to cut the grass with the same machine you saw before. His skin and hair were glowing under the sun making your heart beat faster than before and him looking more beautiful than he already was.

“Hey!” You said loudly once you were a couple of steps away from him.

JJ immediately turned to you making your heart drop to your stomach. He furrowed his eyebrows confused while trying to figure out who you were. “Hi? Are you the babysitter?” He pointed at you and you nodded with a smile.

“Yeah. Y/n.”

“JJ.” He let out a tiny smile. Fuuuuuuck.

Silence came between you two while your brain was trying to remember what you came outside. “Oh! I bought you some water, it’s pretty hot out here.” You handed him the cup which he took gratefully.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, I don’t want you passing out. I don’t want to deal with that.” You said and immediately regretted it, why would you say that? That makes you sound like a terrible babysitter!

But as soon as he let out a genuine laugh, your mind gave you a break.

“Sure. So, since when did you started working with this family?” He said before giving a sip to the water.

“Last week.”

“I haven’t seen you around much. You live in the Cut, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I do. My dad owns the store across the beach.”

JJ didn’t respond immediately. He stood there watching your eyes carefully, so much, that your heart started beating faster once again. “Really? He has some good boards, dude.”

“Thanks. He’s really proud of them.”

“Make sure to tell him. Thank you for the water.” He gave you the now empty cup and you shook your head with a little smile.

“Don’t worry about it. If you need anything just tell me.”

JJ let out a tiny laugh. “You take care better of me than Mrs. Johnson.”

You smiled back while on the inside you were freaking out. “It’s no-” you were saying but the water hitting your body cut you off.

“What the fuck?” JJ said as soon as both of you noticed the water feeling like rain against your body. You looked up to see if it was, but the sky was as as clear as you last saw it.

“Where is that water coming from?!”

“It’s the automatic water for the grass!” JJ said looking down and pointing at the tiny machine going off behind you. You turned around and looked at it confused, trying to not get hit in the face by putting your hands in front of your face.

“But it never turns on during the day! Do you know how to turn it off?!” You asked at JJ with the hope that he did, and luckily, he nodded turning around and leading to some part of the front yard you’ve never been before. When you arrived to where he was you noticed he was kneeled down and with a quicker twist of his hand, the water was off. “What the hell was that?” You said turning to where the water was coming from.

“I don’t know.” JJ said and looked down to his body all wet. You turned to him and did the same, but not to your own body, to his. The way his shirt was glued to his torso would mark his abs and let you nothing to the imagination. You immediately looked down once you realize you were staring, you felt so embarrassed like you weren’t supposed to see what you just did. “Maybe this will help with the sun and I won’t pass out.” He said with a smile once he looked up at you and you smiled, thankful he didn’t notice you staring at him and his fit body.

“You’re dripping.” You said. “You have to dry yourself otherwise you won’t be able to work with those heavy clothes. C’mon.” You pointed at the house and started walking, but his voice cut you off.

“I’m not sure I’m aloud to go in.”

“Do you want to get your work done or not? Because I don’t think you’ll be able to.” You did a quick look to the drops of water goind down. “It’s your decision, but I think Mrs. Johnson won��t be happy if she comes back and her grass isn’t done. Do whatever you want.” You said knowing that it was going to convince him to go with you. You did this tactic with Lily sometimes, making it their choice and having the control over the situation. Like you suspected, as soon as you made a couple of steps away from JJ, you heard his feet moving and getting closer to yours. Seconds later, he was already next to you.

“Maybe we should go to the bathroom, I don’t want to make a mess.” You said the moment you stepped inside the house. Lily, who was now sitting down on the couch, looked at you two with an exaggerated surprised face and walked to where you two where.

“Oh! What happened?”

“The water of your front yard went kinda crazy.” You said grabbing your sticky shirt and trying to get it away from your skin.

“Really?” Lily asked and then turned to JJ, who nodded.

“Lily I want you to stay here watching the movie, ok? We need to get dry.” You said leading the way to the bathroom. “Don’t open the door to anyone, did you hear me?”

“Yes!” Lily said while quickly nodding and then leaving to continue watching her movie. “Stupid Hans!” She yelled at the TV.

“She really likes that movie doesn’t she?” JJ said with a smile once he turned around to follow you.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “we watched it three times today.”

“Ouch.” You let out a laugh before entering the bathroom and quickly grabbing the towel and turning around to face JJ.

“Here, have the towe-” You were saying but once your eyes noticed JJ’s naked torso, your tongue went completely numb. “Oh.”

“Is everything ok?” He asked noticing your shook face, but then a little grin escaped his lips while he grabbed the towel from your hand.

“Yeah. Yeah! Everything’s fine.” You said quickly shaking your head a little bit, trying so hard to not let your now red cheeks make you feel embarrassed.

“Aren’t you gonna change?”

“I’ll wait for you to be over and then I’ll do it. Don’t worry about it.”

He nodded and the continued drying his body. “I still don’t know what happened with that.”

“Maybe the clock failed?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. Anyway, thank you.” He handed you the towel. “I have to continue with work.”

“Yeah!” You quickly nodded. “You go.” You watched how he turned around letting you have a perfect veiw of his back, which made you feel like when you saw his torso naked without any warning. You looked away once he left the bathroom and slapped your forehead with the palm of your hand, already overthinking everything you just did.

As soon as you were finished you walked towards the living room to check on Lily who was now finishing the movie just one more time. You grabbed your phone from your pocket to see the time and realized it was lunch time, so trying to focus every thought of Lily, you called her so she would follow you into the kitchen. You grabbed everything that was on the refrigerator like Mrs. Johnson has told you while your mind was making the recipe for Lily’s meal. You were trying so hard to keep your mind focus and not thing of the cute guy that was still working on the front yard, a couple of steps away from you.

“Did you really fell for Hans because I didn’t. It was pretty obvious.” Lily said while watching you prepare her lunch.

“You think? I didn’t see it coming.”

“I didn’t like Hans since the beginning.” Lily nodded proudly of herself.

“You didn’t? I thought he was really cute and charming, maybe that what’s wrong with princes.” As soon as you said that, a thought came into your head. You stayed still like everything in your life just made sense and you understood it in that exact moment. “And maybe that’s why I like the boys I like.” You continued, talking more to your lard than to Lily. “They’re charming and sweet, but then they forget about your face even if you’re wearing a tiny mask, or they kiss you without even consenting it.” You were saying while your head was inside the refrigerator, looking for the mayonnaise to complete Lily’s lunch. “Or they even think because they have money we will automatically fall for them!” The moment that you said that you realized that you were babbling all to yourself about boys while Lily was listening to you, so you turned around shaking all your thoughts away. “Anyway-” you were about to change the subject but when you opened the water from the kitchen sink it all exploded and went all over your face and clothes. “WHAT THE HELL?” You yelled putting your hand in front of your face to prevent the water hitting your eyes.

“I’ll call JJ!” Lily said once she noticed the water wasn’t stopping.

“What- no! I got this!” You tried to stop her but it was too late, she was already out of your sight. “What’s the fucking problem with water today?” You asked trying to turn the water off, but no matter what you did with the switch, it wasn’t stopping.

“What happened?!” You heard JJ asking once he arrived next to you.

“I turned it on and it went crazy!” You turned around to see the water all over the floor. JJ kneeled down and opened the doors down the sink and just like before, stopped the water. You let your hands rest beside your body and let out an annoyed sigh at the feeling of sticky and wet clothes against your skin.

“Just like before?” JJ asked getting up to lock eyes with you.

You nodded. “Yeah. I think the thingy is broken.” You pointed at the sink looking at it confused but when you heard JJ let out a tiny laugh, you turned to him. “What?”

“The thingy?”

“Yeah, where the water comes out.”

JJ nodded still with a funny smile on his face. “Do you know how to fix it?”

“Do you?”

“Dad has tools!” Lily yelled, appearing on the conversation for the first time. You turned to her and she had a big smile on her face while her fingers were playing with each other. “Maybe Y/n can show you where they are?”

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded remembering the time you helped Mr. Johnson fix something for Lily. “I think they’re next to the bathroom. C’mon.” You said looking at JJ but then you turned to Lily. “While we repair that finish your lunch.”

She quickly nodded before you left her behind. “Ok!”

Even if you had JJ behind you, you felt his eyes on you as you were walking. Maybe they weren’t on you, but somehow, your mind had convince you they were making you feel uncomfortable under them. You were hearing his steps behind you, they were so close you could feel the air he was pushing with his arms while walking. The hallway was darker as usual since having JJ in your mind you forgot to turn on the light, but you knew the house like the palm of your hand.

“I think this is the room- yes it is!” You said entering the room next to the bathroom. “Tools tools tools...”

“Here.” JJ said behind you while grabbing a big dark brown box.

“Oh, ok. Better get that thing fixed so you can get back to work.” JJ nodded so you walked to the now closed door. You looked at it confused since you didn’t remember closing it. “What? Did you close the door?”

“No I didn’t.” JJ said.

“Then why the hell is it closed?” You asked before grabbing the handle, but it wasn’t opening. “And locked?!” Your heart dropped to your stomach the moment you realized you were locked and Lily was outside alone. “Oh my god, Lily? Can you open the door please? Lily?!”

Your heart started to beat faster but then, luckily, she spoke from the other side. “Are you guys locked?”

“Yeah! Can you open it from the outside?”

“I don’t know!”

“Can you check sweetie?”

“She’s a six year old? What can she do?” JJ asked behind you not faced by the situation at all.

“Well? Do you have any ideas genius? Lily is out there on her own!”

JJ lifted the box of the tools and let out a grin. “We have tools?”

“You can’t use them! Do you want to break the door?!”

“Do you want to get stuck in here until Mrs. Johnson comes back? Because I don’t think she’ll be happy to know that you left the little girl outside all by herself.” You let out a tiny sigh when JJ used the same tactic you used on him moments ago. You hated when they were used against you.

“Lily, are you still there?” You asked turning to face the door.

“Yeah. Are you two fighting in there?” She asked softly.

“No, sweetie, why would you think that?”

“I don’t know...”

“Do you want me to break the door then?” JJ asked lifting his eyebrow.

“Maybe you can do something without breaking it?”

“I’ll try. But I’m not a magician.” He said getting closer to the door to grab the handle. You noticed he put a lot of strength in it, but you didn’t understand what he was doing. “I think I got it, but I need your help.”

“What do you want me to do?” You walked to stand next to him.

“Grab the handle and pull it really hard when I say so.” You did as he told you and then looked at him, waiting for his words. “Ready?” You nodded. “Go!”

You pulled the handle with all your strength just like JJ told you while JJ was pushing the door to open, and before you could think of something else the door opened. You and JJ had so much strength into it, that the sudden movement of the door opening, made you two lose balance. JJ tried to grab your waist and prevent you from falling, but it didn’t work since your body was already half way to the floor, it only managed to turn you around by twisting you from your waist and not fall on your face. Once your back hit the floor, you felt a body algo hitting yours.

You opened your eyes once the pain in your back passed enough for you to move, to see some blue eyes staring at you. JJ’s face was so close to yours that you were feeling his heavy breathing against your skin. You felt like his eyes were casting a spell on you since you felt like you couldn’t move, and not because you had his body on top of yours. Even if would be normal for you to feel crushed under a body, you weren’t feeling his. You were so lost in his eyes that you forgot everything around you, it was just him and his breathing gently hitting your face.

“Guys-” Lily said softly next to you. That made you return to the moment and realize in the position you two were. He quickly got up and walked back nervously, like he didn’t know what just happened either.

“Lily! Are you alright?” You walked towards her and hugged her body.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She broke the hug to look at JJ, who was still standing in the corner nervously. “You two looked like Anna and Kristoff there.”

“What’s that?” You asked quickly, feeling your cheeks getting hot.

“Yeah, when they looked at each other. With so much looooove.” Lily said and then let out a silly laugh. You wanted the floor to eat you and throw you whatever it wanted, as long as it wasn’t there. Silence surrounded the hallway for a couple of seconds while you were trying to think of something to change the subject and pretend that what just happened, didn’t. But JJ spoke before you.

“Maybe I should get back to work.” He said and you nodded.

“Maybe you should.” The second you said that, he quickly walked passed your body to leave you and Lily behind. You watched his back and noticed he was looking down, maybe you weren’t the only one who got embarrassed. But what did happen?

The moment that you two locked eyes with each other you felt like there was nothing else around you, like you were melting under his eyes. You never felt something like that, and you never wanted to do it again. So lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize Lily has taken you to the living room to play with some of her new toys. You were hearing her voice talk but non of her words were entering your body. You tried to keep your eyes on the toys but the second that you looked up, your eyes met with his. He quickly looked down and walked away, leaving your sight from the window. You sighed, disappointed.

It wasn’t that you wanted to stare at him... well, maybe it was. But you didn’t want to distract yourself from your work and taking care of Lily, the girl that had to be your number one throught until you left the house. So erasing your unwanted thoughts, you focused your mind into Lily’s game, who seemed to be super invested in.

“Barbie and Ken are going to get married tomorrow, I already planned everything.” Lily was saying the second your mind started to pick up her words. “I’m so excited!”

“I’m pretty sure Barbie and Ken are as well!” You said with a smile, playing along with her.

After a couple of minutes playing with Lily you were glad JJ wasn’t consuming your brain, playing with Lily did helped you get your thoughts straight and focus on what was important. It all seemed to be going back to normal, you weren’t thinking of what happened earlier, Lily and her funny game with her Barbies were definitely making you laugh, and the clock was getting closer to the end of the day, so you were definitely going back to your normal self, until you heard some steps getting inside the house.

“Hey, can I have another glass of water?” JJ asked standing next to the door. You looked up and him and slowly nodded, not opening your mouth. Without giving the opportunity to anything else to happen, you got up from where you were and walked to the kitchen. You heard the door closing and you sighed, glad that JJ didn’t followed you to the kitchen. You didn’t want to talk to him, you knew you were going to be your awkward self and probably embarrass yourself like you usually do, so better to avoid him and forget he even excited... if that’s even possible. You looked at the glass of water that you had now on your hand and stared at it for a couple of seconds. You didn’t want to go out and give it to him, so a better idea came into your head.

“Hey, sweetie,” you called Lily and seconds later she was in front of you with an innocent smile on her face. “can you take this to JJ?” She nodded and grabbed the glass of water before leaving the kitchen behind.

While waiting for her to come back, you closed your eyes when the last time you had JJ in front of you came back to your mind. Well, on top of you is the better choice for words. Your heart dropped to your stomach and the memory slowly came back to your eyes and the feeling of his breathing against your face. Not wanting to have that on your mind, you slapped yourself on the forehead with the palm of your hand. But that didn’t work at all, and what you saw when you opened your eyes didn’t help either.

“Hi.” He said while standing next to the kitchen entrance.

“Hi.” You said, surprised he was inside the house.

“My water?” He asked looking to your hand and noticing they weren’t holding anything.

You furrowed your eyebrows confused, trying to not think you telling Lily about JJ’s water was all your mind playing tricks on you. “I just sent Lily with a glass of water for you.”

“She said that you had it here.”

“What? Lily?” You called her but there was no response. “Lily!” You walked to the living room but she wasn’t there. Feeling your heart beating faster you walked outside hoping she was there. Once your eyes went over the entire front yard while your heart was slowly beating faster passing the seconds, your eyes finally landed on Lily, but that didn’t calmed you down, since she was standing right next to the pool. “What are you doing?”

“I want to take a swim!” She yelled once you started to walk towards her, followed by JJ.

“You don’t know how to swim! Your mom doesn’t let you in if she’s not here! Come back!”

“But I want to swim!”

“Lily you can’t! I’m pretty sure you will when your mom comes home.” You said but Lily didn’t respond you, instead she turned towards the pool. “Lily?” The moment she lifted her foot your heart dropped to your stomach. Your eyes followed her body falling inside the pool once she jumped and threw some water drops into the air, you saw it all like it happened in slow motion. “Lily!” You yelled like you never did before. You started running towards her ready to jump and grab her, but JJ being faster than you, with quick moves took off his boots and jumped into the pool.

Once inside, the water was making it difficult for you to fully see their movements. That was making your hands sweat and your heart to beat faster, it felt like it was going to jump out of your body. But then, you saw JJ’s head above the water, followed by Lily’s.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” You yelled once JJ left Lily’s body outside the pool. “Oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack!” You patted her back while she was getting all the water outside from her body. You felt your heart getting heavy and slowing its speed while your breathing was letting out relief breaths.

“I’m sorry.” Lily said, once she stopped cuffing.

“Why- why would you do that Lily? You know you can’t swim!”

Lily looked up and JJ, who was breathing heavily with his body covered in water and his clothes sticking to his skin, but then she went back to looking at the floor. “I wanted- I wanted to be Anna.”

“What?” You asked confused.

“And I wanted JJ to be Kristoff.” As soon as she said those words you locked eyes with JJ, who seemed to understand the same thing as you on the same moment. Lily wanted to have a love like the characters of her favorite movie.

“Oh... Sweetie,” you kneeled down to be closer to her face. “And you thought that jumping into the pool when you can’t swim was going to make JJ your Kristoff because you wanted him to save you?”

She slowly nodded. “Yeah. And I- I also turned on the water earlier.”

“What?” You and JJ asked at the same time.

“The water for the grass- I did it.”

“Why?” JJ asked once you got up.

“And I broke the water tap. And I locked you two in the closet.” You opened your mouth surprised before looking at JJ, who was just as surprised as you.

“How?” He asked.

“Why would you do that?”

Lily shrugged her shoulders and that made JJ let out a tiny laugh while shaking his head.

“At least we know the house isn’t haunted.” He said, turning the conversation into something funny.

“You little devil.” You said, after letting the funny in the situation hit you.

“Are you gonna tell my mom?” Lily asked softly once she locked eyes with you.

“Lily, do you promise you won’t do it again?”

She quickly nodded with a smile. “I do.”

“Then this will be out little secret.”

“Thank you Y/n!” For the first time during those long hours, you felt like there was nothing else that could go wrong. You didn’t felt uncomfortable under JJ’s eyes, Lily was completely fine and JJ didn’t seem to bother that a little girl almost drowned for him... it all felt just alright. “And you calling JJ a major babe will be our little secret too!” Lily yelled and quickly added, noticing your cheeks go red and JJ letting out a grin once he locked eyes with you. “Oh, sorry.” Lily said softly.

“Shit.”

Well... it had to happen, just another thing going completely wrong.

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[kazuichis-whore]

Gundham x male!reader

Warnings: Death

Summary: Ya trying to get a date with Gundham <3

Sunflower Seeds

This takes place after the second class trial

You have had your eye on Gundham since you've all arrived at the island. Ever since the free times you've had, you always spent them with Gundham. If not Gunham, then Kazuichi, which made Kazuichi a bit upset since all I did was talk about Gundham, and Kazuichi wasn't really fond of him. Since the killings have started to happen, you've only grown closer to him and his 'Dark Devas of Destruction'. This wasn't the best for your heart, many times you thought it would explode when you were close to Gundham.

You see, you'd love to confess to Gundham, but you weren't entirely sure if he was into guys even in the slightest. You could just walk up to him and ask "Hey are you gay? Bi maybe?", but that is too straightforward and weird. So you settled on just keeping these feelings to yourself and just being a close friend of his. That is until Chiaki caught on to me.

It was a cool morning and everyone was either waking up or already heading to the restaurant. You had barely got out of your cottage before Chiaki got in your face.

"Hey, (Y/N). Can I ask you something? In private...", you hated that term, 'in private'. It usually meant that something bad was going to happen, but you trusted that Chiaki wouldn't say or do anything weird.

"Uhm... Sure. Come in" I moved aside so Chiaki could enter. She immediately cornered me. "Do you like Gundham?" She seemed so confident in the question. I was shocked and frozen, I studdered before I even got out a comprehensive sentence. "Whawhawahaa?! How... How did you know? Am I that obvious..?" She backed off with a soft smile. "No, it took me a while to figure it out. Your really good at hiding your romantic feelings. Anyway, Akane and I want to help you and Gundham get together."

"Thanks, Chiaki, but how are you two gonna do that??" There's no way that they could set us up, right? Dumb question. "Akane already found out Gundham is bisexual, but he only likes people he's known for a while and is close to, so you definitely have a chance with him. All I need to do now is convince him to go to the beach with you." What "Wait wait wait, how did you find out he's bi?" "Akane just asked and he was fine with answering" Of course they just asked.

"We can have you and Gundham meeting up at night and Akane and I could set up some lights in the sand and a picnic" Chiaki looked up as she was thinking out loud. "But what about Monomuka? We aren't allowed to be out of the hotel resort after 10 pm." She just smiled, "I'll appeal. He enjoys teen romance so there's a good chance that he'll let us all be out after the curfew", "How do you know he likes teen rom-", "That's not important right now, meet with Gundham at the beach around 10:30 pm." She seemed so determined. I agreed and we both made our way to the restaurant together

Of course, we were a little late. Gundham was the first to notice us, I think he was staring at the door... "The rest of the mortals are here." God his voice was hot. Kazuichi looked over at us "Finally! Gundham and Akane were about to go looking for you guys!" Man, did we take that long? oh. my. god. What the FUCK is that? I was about to say something before I saw this hideous tribute to our recently deceased friend, Mahiru. I was going to say something rude about it before Hajime grabbed my attention. He was signaling for me to be nice about it and that Hiyoko made it. I spoke with an unsure voice "Wooww that looks so coolll. Whoever made that is verryyy talented.". Hiyoko seemed to be satisfied with it. Good because that's all I got in me.

I made my way over to a table so I can eat. Gundham glanced over at me and continued to eat at his own table. It was a quiet morning, everyone must have still been tired. After we had all finished and left, I went to the supermarket to get some sunflower seeds for Gundham. Yesterday he helped me with a cow attack at the barn, so I wanna try to pay him back. It was a good thing he was looking for me anyway.

I still had some free time after I came back from getting the sunflower seeds. I decided to look for Gundham since I knew he was free most of the time. When I finally found him he was talking with Chiaki and Akane at Jaberwok Park, they must be talking to him about going to the beach with me. That also means I need to find someone else to talk to, I get really bored if I'm by myself for too long. I could either look for Kazuichi and look for things he can take apart or just go annoy Fuyuhiko. I'll look for Kazu, I don't feel like hearing boss baby yell at me.

I walked to the 3rd island and was on my way to Electric Ave. since that's become Kazu's new hangout. When I got there he was already digging around looking for anything to fidget with. Kazu is a nervous guy, so I understand if he wants something to with his hands constantly.

"Hey, Kazo! What 'cha lookin for today?" I asked as I leaned over his shoulder to see what he's grabbing. "Anything really. Although it would be nice to find something to corrode the cameras that Monokuma put everywhere. Hey, have you seen some yellow wires anywhere?" He stopped whatever he was doing to look at me. "No, but I think I saw some orange ones by the old game consoles", I pointed to the pile not too far away from me. "No no no, It has to be yellow, orange won't work with my current project." He went back to rummaging. "What are you working on?" I turned my head to the side, it's a bad habit. "I'm trying to make a phone, so we can call someone or something. At least be able to play some mobile games so I'm not so bored all the time." He was still digging around.

"Ok then, see ya! I'm gonna go find Chiaki or Akane, whoever comes first." I said turning away. All I heard was a very faint 'bye' from Kazuichi, he probably wasn't listening. Oh well, at least he said bye. I walked back to the resort where our cottages are. I must have lost at least 30 pounds from all the walking between islands. As I was walking past the farm, I saw Akane. I walked up to her to ask about Gundham and if he was going to the beach. "Heyyyy Akaneeee!" I tried to strike up a conversation since I'm not very good at it. "Oh, what's up (Y/N)?" She definitely knows how to match someones energy. "Sooo what did Gundham say?" I asked, slightly bouncing from excitement. Akane just deadpans "What?". "About the beach! What did Gundham say about going to the beach with me?". "OOOHHH, he said he'll go with ya, but you have to not force him to swim with you. Something about him poisoning the water from his skin? I don't really know, I wasn't really listening". "Oh, that's fine! I won't force him!" I beamed.

"By the way, he said he wants to talk to you about something. He's at his cottage if you wanna talk to him right now." Akane seemed to not be interested in anything she's saying. She probably agreed to help Chiaki only because she was bored. "OK! Thank you, byeee!" I turned around and hightailed out of the barn.

As I was making my way towards the resort gate, I heard Sonia scream at the supermarket. I left the gates and started booking towards the market. When I finally got there, I didn't see her anywhere. I started calling out to her and poking around every crevice of the store. When I finally found her, she was just standing in the back, perfectly fine from what I could see. "Sonia oh my god! What happened? I heard you scream, are you ok?" I was panting from the running and looking. She looked at me with a pang of guilt in her eyes. "I am sorry for scaring you (Y/N), but thank you for taking the time to find me." She looked down at her shoes. "Well yea of course, but why did you scream?" I tilted my head to the side again. "I am terribly sorry (Y/N), but I have a kingdom to lead and I need to get back, I'm sure you understand. Right?" She slowly started walking towards me. I saw a screwdriver in her hand, It looks like....Kazuichi's! How did she even get his screwdriver? Oh what am I thinking, she probably just asked for it while batting her lashes and Kazuichi just gave it to her.

I started to walk backward until I was fully against the door. I quickly started to feel for a handle and scrambled out, back to the isles. As I was running towards the door, I felt a stabbing pain at the back of my head. After, my body felt numb, as if I couldn't control it. I fell. The last thing I heard was the door opening, it was Gundham. "Hello? I heard a scream so- (Y/N)!!" I really hope he finds the sunflower seeds in my pocket. At least the last thing I saw was Gundham.

Mod Jax: HAH, yall probably thought you were gonna have a nice beach date with Gundham. Foolish. You don't get to have a happy ending. Anyway, this took a while ahaha. MAYbe I'll make a version where ya survive and get yer beach date, maybe I won't, idk yet. BUUUUT there is a 90% that I make a part 2 where it's the trial for your murder.

Todays message that ya probably need to hear

You're not responsible for someone else's mental health, fuck with yourself before you fuck with someone else

[neokids]

Fortune's Fool: Act VII

Masterlist

Act VII

Tw: Lots of blood, character death, violence, murder, guns, knives, weapons, foul language, self-inflicted wounds, suicide, overall graphic content

In just a span of a few days, whispers have already spread. At first, it was only suspicions that it wasn’t something natural or a person but the bible repeating itself. People started to believe that it was something like 10 the plagues of Egypt, this time happening in Seoul.

Then people started to see things.

Couples who had their afternoon strolls reported seeing a slimy creature dive into the Han river. Some Viper workers said they had heard low growling and grumbling noises they thought came from the machines, but when they turned it off, the bizarre noises only grew louder. Fishermen who worked late at night reported to see silver flashing eyes in the water. Perhaps the most terrible “sighting” would have been near the Poculum. A customer was passing by with the intentions of having a drink late at night only to see a panting, struggling creature near the garbage disposal. It was unnatural for sure, the shadow it cast resembled nothing like the creatures and animals that walk the face of the earth today.

“It has eyes of the devil, mama!” Yeji heard the little boy in front of her exclaim. They were currently waiting in line to get hot buns from a fast food restaurant. Yeji watched the boy as he excitedly told his story to his mother, guessing he had heard it from a playmate. “The monster had a spine as sharp as knives” The boy added, causing his mother to look at him disinterestedly. There have been numerous deaths added from the original incident, causing people to speculate. But the more people talked, the more the truth has been twisted.

Yeji would have brushed off the rumors, ruling it as a way to keep children frightened when they were being unruly. But the fear people have been feeling is very real, their lives were in danger. There must be a reason to why people had started talking, speculating.

“Nonsense.” The mother scolded her child, as she fiddled with her bracelet. The mother was obviously scared as well, hearing her son's stories did not help whatsoever.

“They say it is like a modern day dragon!” the boy added, not even bothering to listen to his mother, “It attacks the gangsters at night when it smells their blood. It hides in the shadows, waiting for the perfect time, then boom! It attacks.” The child said, his hand motions accompanying his exaggerated story.

The mother could only look and sigh at her son, “It is not only the gangsters who are dying, nae adeul,” The mother paused, looking at his now terrified son. “No one is safe now.” She continued as she placed a hand on her son’s shoulder.

That’s one comforting mother alright,

The son suddenly stopped in his tracks. He looked at his mother, fear replacing the jolly expression he had before. “Am I going to die, mama?” The boy asked.

“Of course not.” The mother said in a defensive tone. She quickly got the two bags filled with steaming buns in front of her and left, with her son still quite scared.

Who wouldn’t be in a time like this?

As they left, Yeji couldn’t help but stare at their disappearing figures. A child, no older than five, was already worrying about whether or not he would live another day. A child like him should be worrying about what flavor of ice cream he should get, or what he should play with his friends. He shouldn’t fear for his life. How much time did they have left until the city of Seoul became nothing but a mass graveyard?

“On us, miss.”

Yeji snapped out from her train of thought to see a bag already in front of her, filled to the brim with steaming hot buns.

“Everything for the princess of Seoul.” The old baker said with a smile. Yeji took a better look at the place, then at the old man in front of her. The bakery was very old, to the point where you could see loose wires everywhere. The man in front of her was also very old, it looked like the bakery was all he had. The only reason why Yeji was here in the first place was because Lia wouldn’t stop bugging her about trying the famous steam buns in Hongdae.

“You have a family, ahjussi?” Yeji asked as she took the bag, the man’s face lighting up immediately.

“I do! I have a lovely wife I come home to everyday and five children! Two girls and three boys!” The baker answered as he perched his elbows on the window.

“I see,” Yeji paused as she took something out from her pocket, it was a red envelope with gold lettering. The man’s face grew in shock. “No miss Hwang, it is in the house! We have been affiliated with the Vipers for a long time now and I owe everything to them. Please it is okay.” The man said as he pushed the envelope back.

“No, please do take it. You have worked hard enough.” Yeji said as she placed the envelope in the baker’s calloused hands. With a smile, Yeji left.

As she browsed the streets of Hongdae, she couldn’t help but let out a breath of relief. She was relieved she was able to have a few hours to herself. She had just finished visiting the drug den her father had sent her to, and it was more boring than she thought. She expected a top secret lab, like the ones she would always see in movies. Only for her to be greeted with a smelly and sketchy apartment. When she had collected the money, the man passed it to her half-asleep, he too looked high on whatever he was on that moment. She had only been there for a solid 30 seconds and her duty was done for the day. Hongdae was filled with lovers taking their strolls, family spending some quality time together, friends on dates, and native weirdos too.

“The end is near! The world is going to end! Jeremiah 11:11! There is only one cure!”

Yeji grimaced as she tried to quickly pass the man. She tried to cover her face in hopes of not getting seen by the shouting man, but to her misfortune, the man had locked his eyes on her. The man started to head her way as she quickened her pace. She thought he had lost the man following her, only for him to suddenly jump in front of her.

Does this man not know who I am?

“Salvation!” The man screeched, causing Yeji to freeze in her tracks. The man flailed his arms in the air, as if he was waiting for someone to pick him up. “Spread the word of salvation, miss!” He exclaimed as he took another step towards her.

Yeji was quick to back away, she was getting weirded out by the old man, “I’m not that religious, sorry.” She decided unsure on what to say, the man’s eyes suddenly grew wider until it could pop out from his socket anytime.

“The doctor can give us a cure.” He said. “I’m not quite sure a doctor has found a cure yet,” Yeji said carefully.

“The doctor saved me!” The man further added. This time, Yeji wasn’t sure if he was referring to doctors, or a particular doctor.

“Hey you know what, a doctor saved me too.” she said as she placed her hands on her hip. “I was like what, seven years old?” she continued, amusing herself now. “I bumped my head on my mother’s picture frame and let’s just say she was worried more about the picture frame.” She said, remembering it like it was yesterday. “Ever since then, I started eating apples.” Yeji said as she looked at the man, waiting for him to catch her joke.

“Because you know…” She trailed off, the man only looking at her in a blank manner. “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away!”

The old man only stared at her. He looked at her like she was speaking some sort of foreign language no an on earth had ever heard of.

“Corny joke?” Yeji asked, speaking Korean a bit more slowly for the man to understand. “Come on, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? Come on, I deserve a chuckle at least.”

The man groaned and stomped his foot, signaling for her to take him seriously.

“The doctor is only one person.” he hissed, his face contorting into a weird facial expression Yeji couldn’t quite figure out. “A person of great passion. He gave me the cure and I am now immune to this madness. An injection! I am supposed to be dead! When my friend had clawed himself and lay dead next to me, I should have been next! But I am here! Alive and well!”

Yeji took another step back, one she should have taken before the man had started talking.

“Good for you,” Yeji said, thinking of an escape plan. “But I, uh, have places to be.” Before she could turn around, the man had already grabbed her wrist.

“Salvation!” The man screamed, “Only the doctor could bring salvation!” She quickly jerked her hand back away from the man as she hurried off.

She took sharp turns every now and then, making her route in a dark alleyway. She passed by groups of men who seemed like they were all ready to kidnap the next person they see. She passed by men throwing knives at each other, she also passed by a group of women aiming their guns at each other, but she was not scared. She was in her territory, she was above all.

Just as she was in the middle of another alleyway, Yeji immediately stopped to the feeling of a cold metal pressed against her neck. She knew it wasn’t a threat of any Viper, no Viper dared. Her mind ran wild, thinking of all the possible people who would try such thing,

Until a familiar voice had said: “Don’t make a sound. Keep walking, and I won’t shoot.”

The feeling of uncertainty immediately was replaced by the feeling of rage. Did he really wait for Yeji to enter an isolated place? Until she was far from the crowd? Did he really think that would work on her?

“You don’t know me as much as I thought you would.” Yeji said quietly, maybe Jeno didn’t know her at all when they were still friends. Maybe he never really cared to know about her. Maybe he just agreed to be friends to get information from her, and he did.

“Walk,” Jeno demanded.

Yeji stood still. As she planned, Jeno thought she was scared and so he eased the press of his gun against her neck. She slowly brought her hand to trace Jeno’s gun, her sudden caress took him by surprise. From his gun, her hand trailed to his own. Touching his long fingers, to his prominent veins. Her touch was light and held no danger whatsoever,

Or so he thought.

She whirled around, faster than Jeno could even process. In a blink of an eye, she had already slapped the gun from his grip causing it to drop on the floor somewhere. She had bent his arm in a way no arm should be bent. She had him quickly pinned to floor, her legs on both sides of his hips with a knife pressed to his throat.

“Let’s try this again, shall we? Like normal civilized people.” She breathed. Jeno too was trying his hardest not to breathe too much, or else his throat would come in contact with the knife. His dilated eyes narrowed at her, as he took a breath.

“Normal civilized people?” He mocked her tone, his voice a bit raspy. “You have a knife pressed against my throat.”

“You had a gun pressed against my neck.”

“Does it look like I have a choice? I’m in your territory.”

Yeji glared at him as she pressed the knife further into his skin causing a drop of blood to appear.

“Stop! Stop!” Jeno flinched. “I’m sorry.”

With one quick motion, Yeji could have sliced his neck open. She had been dreaming of this for four years, she was almost tempted to give it a try. Although she was fighting all thoughts she had of killing him, one thought had crept up in her mind.

Jeno still smelled like he used too. He smelled like smoke and mint, with a hint of his perfume. Noticing this particular detail made Yeji think how possible it was for everything and nothing to change.

“Well go ahead then,” Yeji prompted, “Explain yourself.”

She could feel Jeno trying to fight, but with one press of her blade, he would stop. She could track his every movement just from the tip of her blade.

“I needed information,” Jeno managed.

“Surprisingly.”

His eyebrow arched, “If you let me go, I could explain.”

“Well let’s see…” Yeji said, pretending to think. “How about no? I prefer if you explained like this.”

“Oh, Yeji”

Click.

The sound of someone pressing the trigger echoed all throughout the alleyway. Yeji looked to her left to see the gun she had disabled a while go still in its position. She looked back on Jeno to see him smile, his smile was almost mocking.

“Did you really think I would only bring one?” He asked in a teasing manner. “You don’t know me as much as I thought you would.” He added, mocking her. Famous eye smile a contrast to his actions.

The feeling of cold hard metal suddenly touched her waist. It was as if the gun had started to burn through her clothes and made its imprint on her skin. With no choice, Yeji had to remove her knife against Jeno’s kneck. They both stood up and in unison, put their weapons away.

“The man who died in the Poculum,” Jeno began as he dusted his polo shirt. “Do you remember his mismatched shoes?”

Yeji rolled her eyes, she couldn’t believe she was actually having this conversation with the Jeno Lee, then nodded.

“I found the other shoe in the Han river the other day, the same spot where the first men had died,” He continued, “I think he was able to escape, only succumbing to the madness the next day, in your club.”

“Impossible!” Yeji denied, “What kind of science is–”

“This is no longer in the fields of science, Yeji.”

Her hands had quickly balled into fists, bunching up her blouse in the process. Jeno was really on a whole other level of stubbornness when he was focused on something. She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes,

“What do you want?” She asked, opening them again to see Jeno’s serious expression.

“I need to know whether or not if he is indeed the same man. I need to see his shoes, see if they match, if they do, this madness might be even contagious.”

Contagious,

Meaning to say that the man who had died in her club, his blood spraying in a room filled with her people, might be infectious. If that was the case, the Viper Gang is in huge trouble.

Yeji’s panic started to kick in.

“Maybe they were in some type of cult,” Yeji suggested without much persuasion. “Maybe he didn’t want to be apart of whatever they were doing, only for him to decide that he actually wanted to a day later.” But she had seen the terror of the man during his last few moments, he couldn’t speak but his eyes told everything Yeji needed to know.

Oh dear God she knelt beside the man, looked him in the eyes, and asked him what caused it. What were the chances of her getting infected?

“You and I both know that something’s not right here.” Jeno said, breaking Yeji’s small panic attack. “By the time this has alerted departments, many more innocent people will have died.”

Jeno accidentally realized what he had said, causing him to fall silent. Yeji stared at him for a while, her gaze blank, void with any emotion.

“As if you care,” She said quietly, almost inaudible. But he still heard her. “About innocent people dying.” She looked away from him in case he could see the slight water in her eyes.

Every muscle in his body tensed.

He inhaled sharply, “Fine,” he paused, “My people.”

Hearing it from him definitely felt worse. She let out her breath she didn’t know she was holding and turned around.

“Move.” She said, walking away. Only this once would she allow herself to help him, she needed the answers too. “The morgue closes in a few hours.”

[spaceskam]

Inspired by @aewriting's fic because oh my goddddd

ao3

Michael knew a lot of things. He was smart and aware and was sufficiently sure that his species better than the entirety of the human race so there was no point in giving a shit.

Yet, for the life of him, he couldn't stop grinning as he looked at the assigned rooming system for their class trip.

 Michael," Max hissed as he leaned over, his own copy of the syllabus and rooming system in his hand, "We need to request to room together instead."

"What, why?" Michael said, struggling to tear his eyes off the 4D - Michael Guerin, Alex Manes written on his paper. The idea of watching him get ready in the morning and seeing how long it took him to put on his makeup had Michael squirming for some reason.

"Because," Max said, eyes wide like he should've pieces it together, "What if something happens?"

Michael frowned. "Are you still having issues?"

"Yes!" Max insisted, "So we need to both request room changes."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to say for why I want a room change?" Michael scoffed. He didn't say that he really, really didn't want a room change. Alex was easily the most interesting human being he'd ever seen. If Michael was going to have a human friend, he'd be it. This felt like a good excuse to get to know him.

Max scanned the page to see who Michael was rooming with.

"Easy, it's Alex. Say you're not comfortable rooming with someone who's, you know," Max said, shrugging to fill in the blank. Michael's eyebrows raised.

"Oh, fuck off, I'm not pretending to be a homophobe so you can get off in the shower to the idea of Liz Ortecho's shampoo without worrying someone might see a power outage," Michael told him, shaking his head, "You can go a weekend controlling yourself. And, if not, Iz can work her magic."

"You're a terrible brother."

"Love you too."

-

By the time they were loading onto the bus, Michael's excitement had bled into nerves.

Sure, he was better than humans, but humans were also notorious for thinking they were hot shit. Would Alex be a shitty roommate? It was only a couple days, but that was still hours where they'd be alone in the same room together. Would they bond? Would he piss Alex off? Would they get in a fight?

They'd both been in a lot of fights.

While everyone else packed towards the back of the bus, Alex sat up from behind the teachers. He'd already put his headphones on from what Michael sound see, ignoring every glare Mr. Rowe gave him for it as he tried to give them a big, preparatory speech. Subsequently, Michael didn't hear much of it either.

Most of the ride was like that, actually. It was a long 3 hours, but his eyes kept drifting to the only boy who sat alone with his eyes closed. He was bold and didn't give a shit which Michael was envious of. As much as he tried, he always cared a little bit, at the very least what Isobel and Max thought of him. But Alex didn't. And, to make matters more distracting, the sun seemed to hit his face in just the perfect way that it seemed he was torn out of a goddamn magazine. Another thing to be envious of.

"Will you stop staring at him?" Isobel scolded from beside him, "People are already going to be asking you if you're sleeping with him after you're alone with him every night, are you really trying to make the rumors worse?"

"Would it mean I get to punch someone in the face?" Michael asked. Max scoffed from where he was leaning over the seat behind them to join the conversation.

"If you do that, you're going to be in a lot of trouble."

"I'm already always in a lot of trouble, might as well have a good reason," Michael suggested, shrugging his shoulders. He smiled as his siblings shook their heads.

He let his eyes drift back to the godlike, Michelangelo-sculpture-esque man that was Alex Manes.

-

Mr. Rowe passed out each the key cards to everyone, giving a speech about being responsible. No parties, no drinking, no leaving past curfew, no this, no that.

Michael’s eyes followed the way Alex’s slender fingers grabbed the key card before slipping it into the back pocket of his tight jeans. He didn’t smile, he didn’t speak, and he simply embodied the vibes of every dull bad boy that popped up in shitty YA books. Except he wasn’t dull. That’s what made him interesting.

Alex must’ve felt him staring though because he looked over and Michael looked away so fast he almost hurt himself.

“You’re going to piss him off if you keep staring at him,” Isobel scolded, pinching his arm. He glared at her, rubbing the skin she’d attacked. “The last thing we need is you getting in a fight.”

“I’m not going to fight Alex,” he insisted, sneaking another look over at the boy he’d be spending the entire weekend with, “I promise.”

“Well, make sure you keep your phone on you so you can text me if things get weird,” Isobel said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Mom.”

“Everyone has their keys? Okay, then we should be set for the night. Go find your rooms, get settled, and we’ll head down for dinner at 6:30, alright? Then back to your rooms for the night. Make sure you’re taking showers, we’re going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow and the last thing I need is anyone smelling like they haven’t bathed and they’re baking under direct sun,” Mr. Rowe preached, inciting a few whispered laughs and accusations about who he was talking about. Michael knew it probably wasn’t directly at him, but he shifted uncomfortably anyway. “Again, have your alarms set. I’ll knock on doors in the morning, but we’re all meeting down here at 7 in the morning and if I have to go hunt you down, we’ll have problems. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

Eventually, they all started making their way towards their rooms. Isobel, Max, and Michael all opted for the stairs along with a few other students while the rest waited for the elevator. They made it to Michael’s room first and both Isobel and Max gave him wary looks.

“Jesus, you both seem to forget I have more control than you,” he said. They shared a look.

“Yeah, but only in one way. I just don’t want you to get in trouble,” Max said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Stop parenting me.”

“Okay, fine,” Isobel said, holding up her hands in defense and subsequently becoming more parental. Michael rolled his eyes and turned to the door.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he said, pushing into the room and closing it behind him.

He didn’t mean to slam it as loud as he did and he definitely didn’t mean to startle the boy who was already in the room. Alex had seemed to jump out of his skin and looked at Michael like he’d lost it. Michael gave an apologetic smile and tried not to think about the fact that this was the first time they’d ever been alone. Hell, this would be the first real conversation they’d had. 

Actually, he couldn’t remember a time Alex Manes had ever spoke outside of throwing insults at jocks or when they were forced to debate designer babies in 10th grade. Alex had been the only one who was anti that didn’t play the God card. He’d gone on a long spiel about how it wasn’t a guarantee, about how parents paid all that money to have a child exactly how they wanted, but what happened if it didn’t work that way? Nature vs. nuture, he’d said. A baby could look the part, but if it didn’t act the part, they had parents accusing them of losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. That was the moment Michael knew he was more than a YA bad boy.

For a moment, he wondered if Alex thought he was the YA bad boy. They both fit different sides of the same profile. Alex was punk and hardened, Michael was thrown through the system and had a stint in juvie the summer before, and both of them had been in more fights than necessary. Oh, God, what if Alex thought he was bland?

“I felt each bed, I took the one that makes less noise,” Alex said simply, voice deeper than Michael remembered. Was it hot in here?

“Why? Don’t wanna wake me when you sneak out?” Michael asked, trying to act normal. He wasn’t well versed in making friends, but he knew staring at them like a deer in headlights was not the way to go about it.

“More like don’t wanna wake you when I stay up all night,” Alex responded, not offering a smile as he focused back on the bed. He had a duffel bag and he pulled out a long wire, kneeling on the bed and reaching over to plug it in the wall. His shirt slid up as he did so, revealing a small patch of tanned skin on his back that Michael found inexplicably interesting.

“Well, good news, I don’t really sleep either.”

“Seems like that’s why we got roomed together,” Alex said, dropping onto the bed after he plugged it into the wall and then plugged the other end into his phone, “Same answers on the questionnaire.”

“Seems like it,” Michael agreed. Alex paused for a moment, looking over at him with dark, curious eyes.

“And you don’t have a problem with this?”

“Are you gonna kill me in my sleep?”

“You just said you don’t sleep,” Alex said. Michael raised his eyebrow at the lack of an answer. It earned a small smile from Alex that made Michael’s heart skip a beat. “No, I’m not gonna kill you.”

“Then we’re all good.”

“And the rumors don’t bother you?” Alex prodded. Michael dropped his bag beside the other bed and laid down, grinning mindlessly as it groaned under his wait.

“The rumors about me don’t bother you?” Michael shot back. Alex eyed him for a moment. Michael fully expected him to elaborate on the rumors about himself to get his question across. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think Michael just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter how smart he was: you look homeless, people treat you like you’re helpless. But Alex didn’t fill in any blanks.

“As long as you don’t kill me in my sleep,” Alex said with a shrug, falling against the pillows and putting his attention onto his phone. Michael watched him for a few extra seconds before he shook his head, pulling out a book to pass the time.

He was definitely going to get a friend out of this. Who knew?

-

Michael was dead weight on the bed.

They’d had a full buffet for the students and Michael had eaten more than he’d eaten in a long time. As good as it was, he also felt like he was about to succumb to a food coma. So much for staying up all night.

He ended up waking up bright and early anyway, though. The birds started chirping before the sun rose and he rolled over in irritation. Alex was laying on the bed, curled up and asleep with his phone screen still on and shining towards the ceiling. Michael laid there for awhile, fading in and out of sleep until Alex’s alarm went off at 6.

Alex woke up with a pout and a sigh, stretching his limbs out and arching his back. Michael watched him mindlessly, watching his legs shake at the tense muscles before he slowly dragged himself up and Michael pretended to be asleep. The first step to making friends was decidedly not watching them while they slept.

Michael stayed in bed as Alex quietly grabbed his makeup bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Was it weird that Michael was a little sad he closed the door? Yes. Yes it was weird. What the fuck.

Around the time one of the teachers knocked on the door to tell them they should be awake, Alex reappeared all dolled up. His makeup was in full force, his hair done in a skillful way, and sporting black jeans and a black t-shirt. His cheeks seemed extra sparkly, though, and Michael nodded in approval.

“Nice face,” he said simply, grabbing a pair of jeans. Alex blew air from his nose in response.

“Okay.”

“Mhm.”

They both went down for breakfast and to gather to load the buses and head to the Grand Canyon. Alex, despite his friends, sat at the front of the bus by himself again. Liz and Maria sat towards the back and behind Kyle, leaving him alone. Michael felt bad.

“While you aren’t required to be on a strict buddy system with your roommate, I definitely suggest staying close by them because you will be needing to do check-ins together. We’re not trying to have anyone run off, alright? Understand?” Mr. Rowe announced.

“Yes, sir,” they all agreed and it seemed good enough for him, signalling for the bus driver to go ahead.

“So, did you cause a power outage in front of your roommate?” Michael asked Max.

“How would he have done that?” Isobel asked. Michael offered and filthy grin and moved his hand in an obscene gesture, his tongue poking in his cheek. She looked slightly horrified at the mental image and slapped his arm, instantly making him laugh. Max just sunk into the seat behind them with an embarrassed groan.

“Guess not,” Michael snorted. 

“Well, what about you and Alex Manes? How’d that go? No fights? No gay awakening?” Isobel prodded. Michael rolled his eyes, his mood tampering at just how dull the night had been.

“Sorry to disappoint. I took a shower as soon as we got back from dinner and he took one after and I was asleep by the time he got out, so nothing special,” Michael said with a shrug. He was admittedly disappointed. What was the point of putting two troublemakers in the same room if they didn’t raise a little hell? Instead, he ate too much and fell asleep like an old man.

“Okay, well, do something because it’s only been one night and I’m already over Carly’s long discussion over Kyle Vlaneti’s cheekbones. Like, I get it, he’s hot, but there are much more important things to talk about,” she scoffed. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Sorry, I’ll do my best to do something more interesting.”

He wasn’t quite sure what that interesting thing would be, but he could definitely try.

-

That interesting thing happened when he and Alex were walking back after their routine check-in.

“This is so fucking lame,” Michael said, gesturing the canyon that failed to impress him no matter how many signs he read, “It’s a big hole in the ground.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of nice,” Alex responded. Michael raised an eyebrow at him and they both came to a stop.

“Nice?” Michael repeated, “What’s nice about it?”

“Look, come see,” Alex ushered, grabbing his arm freely and pulling him to an area that was pretty empty. They were far away from the rest of the group by the time Alex let go of him and he honestly got a little worried as Alex stepped so close to the edge that his toes were hanging off. 

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t you feel small?” he asked. Michael watched as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. The sun seemed to find him and he was glowing. “Like nothing matters. Years of horrible things that built this country never stopped the natural flow of things enough to take this. No matter who we are, what we do, there’s always something… else.”

Michael licked his lips. Like what, he thought, aliens?

Alex breathed in deep.

“I could do anything. I could jump or I could kill someone or I could commit every atrocity, and the world would keep turning,” Alex whispered, “And some people do that. Because it doesn’t matter so they don’t care. But if we’re all horrible, every last one, who will notice the small things? Like… this. Us. I am nothing, but doesn’t that make us everything?”

“You lost me.”

Alex laughed softly and opened his eyes, turning towards Michael. Then he gestured for him to come closer. And, like all idiots with superiority complexes, Michael obeyed and let his toes hang off the edge without a thought.

“The only kind thing left is Mother Nature.”

“Mother Nature kills,” Michael pointed out. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be cynical, think about it. There’s nothing selfish in nature, not really. You take what you need.”

“Some species would disagree.”

“Just humans,” Alex sighed, “Fuck humans.”

Michael huffed a laugh and couldn’t help but admire him and agree. For a guy who wore all black and had punched a few jocks hard enough to raise talk of expulsion, he was apparently a lot more positive and logical than everyone else. 

“Fuck humans,” Michael agreed, turning his face towards the canyon. He thought it looked a little better now. “Fuck humans!”

“Yes,” Alex laughed cupping his hands around his mouth to amiplify his voice, “Fuck humans!”

“Fuck humans!” 

“Alright, boys,” Mr. Rowe sighed from somewhere behind them. Alex jumped at the sudden new voice and, on instinct, Michael grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from the edge just as he lost his footing. 

They ended up a few steps away from the edge, Michael still holding onto him while he caught his breath from the short moment of fear. But through it all, Alex was smiling at him. Not just the normal, irritated smile, but a big one that rivaled the sun that shined just for him. And that smile was targeted at Michael specifically. Wasn’t that breathtaking? 

“Alex, are you alright?” Mr. Rowe said, voice actually concerned as he jogged closer, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Um, yeah,” Alex said, slowly taking a step out of Michael’s hold and that cold demeanor started to slip back up as he remembered they weren’t alone, “I’m good. Just made me jump.”

Mr. Rowe looked between them and nodded. “Right. Just be careful, we don’t need you falling off the side no matter how angsty you feel.”

Michael laughed, “Sure thing, we’ll be careful.”

“Yeah,” Mr. Rowe said, looking between them a couple more times, “And you two are good with sharing a room together?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Michael said, looking over to Alex. His smile was fully gone now, the hardened face back in place, and he shrugged.

“Haven’t killed him yet.”

“Comforting, Mr. Manes, thank you,” Mr. Rowe sighed. He gave Michael a pat on the shoulder before turning and walking back to the group. 

“Yet?” Michael asked once their teacher was out of ear shot. A secretive little smile slipped back onto his face.

“Never say never.”

-

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting with my class trip buddy.”

Michael grinned shameless as he got settled in the bus seat beside Alex in the far front. They were heading back to the hotel and Michael, still high on the moment he’d had with Alex on the cliff’s edge, wanted to be close to him again.

“Okay,” Alex agreed, eyeing him skeptically. Michael just gave that smile that he knew was charming. It was his specialty. Alex rolled his eyes and sat back into his seat, but the tiny smile tugging at his lips didn’t go unnoticed.

“So, whatcha listening to?” Michael prodded, leaning into his personal space to see what was on his phone. Alex elbowed him away gently, but he picked up the spare earbud to hand to Michael. He accepted it. “What is this?”

“Ska punk.”

“Huh?”

“Ska,” Alex said, grinning at Michael’s lack of understanding, “Like, No Doubt? Sublime?”

“You’re just trying to confuse me today, aren’t you?” he said. Alex rolled his eyes but turned up the music.

“It’s a mix between classic alt and ska which is basically, like, reggae influence,” Alex explained, “In my superior opinion, it’s the best genre.”

“Why?” Michael wondered. Alex raised an eyebrow and turned up the music a little more as if that would explain it. 

“Because it’s a perfect mix between chill and ‘fuck the man’ music. Like, when I take over the world, I’m gonna do it with ska punk blaring all the time,” Alex explained. Michael sputtered a laugh, unable to find him uninteresting in the slightest. 

“You plan to take over the world, huh?”

“So, here’s the plan, right,” Alex said, turning in his seat. He looked around as if someone might actually overhear and leaned a bit closer. Michael followed his lead, listening with pure interest. “I’m gonna write a musical, right, and it’s gonna take the world by storm. People are gonna love me and I’ll get the unbridled support by the world of theatre when I run for president at 30.”

“Oh, we’re jumping straight to president?”

“Hell yeah, I don’t waste time,” Alex said, waving a hand and looking deadly serious the entire time, “Anyway, I’ll be technically too young, but the overwhelming support will get me my win. Then, then, I’ll spend about two years in office learning all the government secrets and then I’m gonna whistleblow all of it before I go into hiding.”

Michael nodded, on board with every word.

“Liz and Maria are gonna stay in America to lead the true revolution while I go hide from American officials in Russia for a few years,” he explained.

“How are you gonna hide in Russia?”

“I figure I’ll seduce someone in power,” Alex said like it was easy. And, honestly, Michael believed him. “Anyway, then I’ll go to the Vatican‒wash, rinse, repeat, whistleblow that bitch. Then the Pope will probably try to have me assassinated on live TV, but it’s fine because I’ll survive.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael laughed. Alex eyed him, judging him until he feigned seriousness to match Alex’s. Still, he found it ungodly amusing that the guy who had just been saying how small and meaningless everyone was also had a plan to overthrow the government.

“Yeah, I’ll come back to America and I’ll be the face of the revolution. Enter ska punk to the masses. The chill vibes will give them no choice by to agree with my political ideology and feats,” Alex said, shrugging a shoulder and raising an eyebrow, “Easy.”

“Easy,” Michael agreed, not even caring that they were incredibly close at this point.

“Save the good people, destroy the bad. Eat the rich,” Alex said simply. Michael agreed without hesitation.

Sadly, before he could enjoy anymore of Alex’s existence, the bus came to a stop and Alex took his music back.

“See, I got you on board with just a little bit of No Doubt,” Alex said, sliding past Michael without a second thought and being the first one off the bus.

Michael knew for a fact that Alex was better than everyone.

-

The day was long and Michael could still feel a layer of sweat on his skin as he sat on the floor beside the hotel bed. Alex was taking a shower and he was recounting the day’s events. Screaming into a canyon with Alex, walking through a national park with Alex a few feet in front of him, deciding to sit beside Alex on the bus ride back and sharing his music, and rolling his eyes at all the questions Isobel was sending him to ask why he sat with Alex. 

Michael: I’m making friends fuck off

Isobel: well are you abandoning me at dinner too???

Michael: no i’ll sit with you and max 

Michael: maybe alex liz and maria can sit with us too

Isobel: two trios don’t make a happy family, Michael

Michael: fuuuuuck off

Isobel: 😘

Michael dropped his phone and tilted his head back, grinning to himself as he thought about how good it felt to scream with Alex. Maybe, if anyone was on par with his species, it was him. That would make sense, right? Alex seemed to get it. 

The bathroom door opened and Alex Manes walked out in a cloud of steam and Michael’s brain stopped working. Things slowed down and Alex walked out in slow motion, shirtless with a pair of sweats low on his hips. He was pulling on a shirt as he did so and the glory of his bare chest was gone too soon, but it didn’t stop Michael from staring slack-jawed and stupid.

“What?” Alex asked, snapping him out of his haze. He was eyeing him like he was being really fucking weird. Which, he was being really fucking weird. But he couldn’t help it. Alex was... was...

“Sorry,” Michael said, scrambling out of bed so he could take his own shower. Alex nodded slowly, heading over to his side of the room. Michael couldn’t help but watch him as he put his dirty clothes in the duffel bag and then stretched. His skin was red-tinted from the hot water and Michael wanted to touch and see if he could feel the heat.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

It wasn’t until he was in his own shower, this one much colder than the one Alex apparently took, and seeking the scent of the other boy’s body wash that it dawned on him what might be wrong. He froze for a solid five minutes, staring blankly at the wall as he thought about things and Alex and the fact that he was seconds away from doing exactly what he’d mocked Max for. 

Michael took a steadying breath and licked his lips. Out of morbid curiosity, he closed his eyes and took himself in his hand, picturing Alex Manes and the millisecond long glimpse of his bare chest and the way the sun hit his face and the way he smiled and the way he screamed and the way he lit up when he described his plans for world domination and the way his long fingers looked curled around his phone. He ended up biting down on his lip so hard that he drew blood, out of breath and more confused than ever.

Maybe that was a fluke or Alex was a weird exception. He was undeniably pretty and relatively feminine and clearly more interesting than the rest of the human race, so maybe that had something to do with it. Or maybe it was his own unconfirmed but also not denied sexuality that had Michael’s curiosity sparked. It was normal for teenagers to get a little confused, right? He’d always assumed his species was above that, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just confused. He knew he liked women, that was undeniable and he knew he wasn’t faking it.

But the more he thought that he was just a little confused by Alex in particular, the more he realized that maybe it wasn’t normal to let his eyes linger in the locker room. Maybe it wasn’t normal to work so hard at keeping his eyes straight in juvie. Maybe it wasn’t normal to not be grossed out when he found himself focusing on the guy in porn.

Or maybe it was normal. Maybe it was okay.

He left the shower feeling ungodly drained and overwhelmed by his own thoughts. He’d expected a lot of things from this trip, but jacking off to his class trip roommate wasn’t exactly on the syllabus. The biggest discovery this weekend was supposed to be the visual of the Grand Canyon. 

He swallowed hard as he tried to remember how to act normal, but Alex looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t help but feel the urge to test his budding theory on his own sexuality. Would Alex welcome it if he tried? Would that fight everyone seemed to expect happen?

“Dude, what did you do to your face?” Alex scoffed, sitting up and taking a step too close. Every hair on Michael’s body stood up at his close proximity, stupid teenage hormones not knowing when enough was enough. “That’s gonna scab.”

“Sorry,” Michael said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and then huffed a laugh.

“Why are you apologizing to me? It’s your mouth,” Alex said. But his eyes lingered on Michael’s cracked and swelling bottom lip and that seemed to confirm all of Michael’s brand new theories all on it’s own.

They stared for a moment, too close and too aware. Michael could see confusion sift through Alex’s eyes like he was trying to gauge if he was reading things correctly. Perhaps his own face betrayed that he absolutely was. 

“We should probably go down for dinner,” Alex said softly, mechanically. Michael nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” he said. 

Twenty-four hours in and he was already questioning his entire self.

-

“Anything interesting yet?”

Michael snorted, eyes flicking over to Alex and the way he elongated his body in his chair. He was smiling fondly at Liz and Maria as they laughed about something over dinner. It was easy to see that he loved them and Michael’s stomach twisted with something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He supposed it had to do with the only people who ever gave him any semblance of love were Isobel and Max. Maybe he was jealous Alex could give it so freely to his friends who weren’t his intergalactic buddies.

“Yeah, actually,” Max said, clearing his throat. Isobel and Michael both raised intrigued eyebrows, giving him their attention as they leaned forward. “I think I’m gonna ask out Liz.”

Isobel and Michael both groaned and fell back into their chairs. Max just laughed.

“I’m serious this time! I’m gonna do it!” Max insisted.

“C’mon, man, what’s the point? We’ve got a couple months left of the school year and then the summer and then she’s going off to get a fancy degree or seven,” Michael said. Isobel shoved his shoulder, but he didn’t waver. Max shook his head.

“Nah, you don’t get it. We,” he paused, sighing happily, “We had a moment.”

“A moment?” Isobel asked.

“Yeah, like… one of those moments that are totally worth risking it all for, you know what I mean?” Max clarified.

Unwillingly, Michael’s eyes drifted over to where Alex was already looking his way. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red as Alex didn’t look away like most people did when they got caught staring. Instead, Alex raised his hand to his face and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. Michael involuntarily copied and discovered he was bleeding again. Alex gave a cool smile and mouthed ‘fuck humans’ before turning back to Liz and Maria.

Chills covered his skin as he looked back to his own dinner companions.

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I know those moments.”

-

Night two alone with Alex Manes proved much more difficult than night one.

Tonight, Michael was aware of a deep seeded desire to touch him and listen to him speak. Tonight, he struggled to keep his eyes to himself as Alex traded his jeans for sweats in the middle of the room instead of going into the bathroom like the night before. Tonight, had to sit on his hands to keep from requesting permission to do something he shouldn’t‒like seeing if he was as good at getting another guy off as he was at getting himself off. It felt like the question for the ages. And to think he’d bothered questioning his alien origins when he could’ve been questioning what Alex’s mouth could do. How foolish of him to ignore that.

More importantly, how had he ever ignored Alex? He was smart and funny and gorgeous. How had he missed the attraction before? Maybe it had to do with Alex being smart and gorgeous. He was going to get out of here and do good shit. Michael still, even with that scholarship waiting for him, taunted him and reminded him he wasn’t going to do much. 

“Are you okay? Did you get sun poisoned? You’ve been zoning out since we were on the bus,” Alex asked, “Got worse after your shower.”

Michael looked up at him from where he was seated on his bed and Alex was standing between the two. He was so fucking hot. Without thinking, Michael patted the bed beside him. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and didn’t move for a few seconds but slowly, slowly came to sit beside him.

“Jokes aside,” Michael started, mind still thinking of Max’s lack of hesitation when it came to Liz’s plans, “What do you actually want to do in the future?”

“Um,” Alex said, shifting slightly, “Getting the fuck out of Roswell is my only real goal. I hate it there.”

“Same,” Michael agreed.

“Yeah…” Alex said, “Guess that makes sense. We’re the two people with the most amount of fights in Roswell High history.”

Michael snorted, “You’re lucky. Your dad definitely used that fancy little title he’s got to keep you from being sent to juvie after you shattered Mason Glenn’s face.”

“Lucky,” Alex repeated, shaking his head, “I’m not lucky. Not with my dad.”

“Well, if it helps, I’m not lucky either,” Michael sighed, thinking about his shitty track record, “That fight I got into last year, almost deafened the guy in his left ear. Got me a couple months in juvie. Which, you know, maybe I am lucky. Most kids like me don’t get out that easy.”

“So the rumors are true then?” Alex asked. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Why are you so set on the rumors?” he wondered, turning to face him, “‘Cause it depends on which ones you’re talking about. I’m not sleeping with Iz if that’s the one you’re asking about.”

Despite his attempt at lightening the mood, Alex didn’t let him. His intense gaze wandered over Michael’s features and Michael clutched the sheets in his hand.

“The one where you live in your truck,” Alex stated bluntly.

“Okay, then is the one about you true?” Michael shot back, tilting his head, “Are you gay? Is that why you think about taking over the world? Is that why you like feeling small?”

Alex didn’t react in any type of physical way, but Michael wouldn’t have been surprised if Alex had started a fight then. Most of Alex’s fights started with someone calling him gay. Granted, it was usually yelling slurs at him to do so and not asking, but still.

“Is that why you wanna get out of Roswell?” Alex asked, ignoring his accusation, “Because here everyone turns a blind eye to a homeless teenager? Because it’s easier to say you live in a truck than to say you’re homeless?”

“Is that why you want to get out of Roswell? Because here everyone turns a blind eye to bullying? Because it’s easier to say you’re just other than to admit they’re in the wrong?”

Alex stared at him and Michael stared right back, both of them unwavering and serious. It was totally different from on the bus or on the cliff or standing close after a shower. This felt real. This felt… more. If those were moments, what was this? Because whatever it was, it was suffocating.

Then Alex was leaning forward.

Despite Michael’s prior thoughts and interest and despite how badly he wanted to, he jumped off the bed before Alex could do anything. It didn’t make that intense gaze feel any less all encompassing.

“I-I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” Michael said, heading to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He was going to be kissed and he fled. That was definitely a first.

Then again, he’d never been faced with a boy trying to kiss him. Not just a boy, but a hot boy who seemed just as aware of the fucked up reality as he was. Which, again, made no goddamn sense. How the hell was Alex so aware and still able to smile and make jokes? For Michael, he knew there was more. He knew he was better. But Alex… Alex didn’t know that. He just thought humans were as good as it got. And he was still calling Michael out, still trying to force him to say something. He wasn’t turning a blind eye.

Michael gulped and stared at his reflection. He really would’ve liked to go back to the fun revelations.

By the time he exited the bathroom, the light was out and Alex was curled up in bed with his back towards Michael.

-

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Michael asked. Isobel was eyeing him with that knowing gaze as he sat beside her at breakfast. Alex had already been in the bathroom when Michael woke up and, when he came out, he made no mention of the night before. He’d given his good morning and then left the room. He didn’t seem angry. So why did Michael feel so guilty?

“I know that face,” she said, “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Michael sighed, “I just think I pissed Alex off.”

“Why? What’d you do?” she wondered. Michael sighed, looking to where Alex was notably not looking at him. He couldn’t tell her Alex went in to kiss him and he chickened out.

“Nothing, we just… talked, I guess, I don’t know,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders. Isobel looked at him oddly.

“You’re 17, Michael, why are you acting like an old man?” she asked. He scoffed, ready to argue, but even he couldn’t deny that it was particularly weird that they had a conversation like that. But, then again, it just brought him back to the conclusion that there was something about him. He wasn’t like the rest of the human race and he wasn’t like the limited knowledge he had of his own species. He was… other. In a good way.

His eyes drifted back to Alex for a moment. Could he be a teenager with him? Was he worthy of sloppy kisses and self-discovery with him? Could they be kids and not have every conversation be laced with the underlying truths of their reality?  

“You ever wanna take over the world and bring all the alien-destroys-New-York movies to life?” Michael asked her instead. Isobel sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Isobel said, leaning closer, “Apparently, Kyle Valenti stole a few bottles of alcohol from the kitchen. We’re gonna have a party tonight in his room after curfew since it’s the last night away from home. You should come, everyone else is.”

“Wasn’t one of the rules no parties?” Michael asked, “And no drinking?”

“Again, old man, when did you become against breaking rules?”

Michael licked his lips and looked over at Alex again. True. Since when did he have shit holding him back from doing what he wanted?

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll break rules.”

-

Just like the day before, it was hard to find anything interesting in where they were.

In theory, he could appreciate a national park and a museum, but Michael didn’t really give a shit. He would’ve been much more interested if they went to the Houston Space Station like was originally debated. But that was too expensive and going to national parks just wasn’t. 

Unlike the day before, though, everyone was buzzing when they got on the bus to go back to the hotel. Everyone was texting and whispering about this party they were planning. Michael was considering going if things went badly with Alex, but that’s it. Only if things went bad with Alex.

This was the last night they were here, this was his last real shot at getting him alone. He wanted to try. 

Besides, if Max made a move on Liz before he made a move on Alex, well, then they were all fucked.

He watched him throughout dinner, trying to think of what exactly he wanted to say. Maybe he could just tell him he thought he was hot, keep it simple. Or he could explain that, thinking about it, he’d actually liked him for a lot longer than he realized because it suddenly made a lot of sense why he’d been watching him for two years. Maybe Alex would take his confusion about his sexuality as a good enough answer and they could make out to help solidify that this wasn’t a weird boy crush. Not that he thought it was. He was confused about what this meant, but there was no confusion about the way Alex made him feel like his skin was being lit on fucking fire and like his mind was melting.

When they got back to the room, Michael quickly went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and make sure he didn’t smell. Everyone was getting ready for Valenti’s party. Time to prepare for his own.

“Hey, Alex, can we talk?” Michael asked as he stepped out of the bathroom. Alex looked up from where his phone and eyed him, nodding slightly.

Michael stepped closer, trying to find at least one of the starters to the plethora of conversations he’d had in his mind. He should say he liked him. He should say he didn’t mean to pull away. He should say that he accidentally had a second sexual awakening to seeing him shirtless. He should say so, so many things.

And instead he said none. Instead, he lunged forward and kissed him.

It was a short, chaste kiss, but it was enough for pieces to fall into place. That was definitely how that was supposed to feel. It probably had to do with Alex being superior. Where was a pedestal when you needed one?

“Um,” Alex said, taking a shaky breath as the kiss ended. Michael blinked a few times and pulled away a little more. Had he misread something? Alex licked his lips, looking at him like he didn’t get it. “Are-are… Is this a set up?”

“Huh?” Michael asked, furrowing his eyebrows. How the hell did he come to that conclusion?

“Is this one of those things where you kiss me and then ask me out and then I agree and then you stand me up and make fun of me with your friends?” he asked, hesitant rather than angry. Michael’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“What? No, oh my god, who did that?” Michael asked, voice soft. Alex shook his head dismissively, still eying him like he didn’t get it.

“You just kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I really wanna keep doing it too if you do.”

“There’s a party.”

“I’d rather we have our own.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough.”

“So you know I’m into guys and you’re questioning?”

“No,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders, “I know you’re smart and beautiful and funny.”

Alex looked him up and down and that hesitance in his eyes slowly but surely bled into something else. His eyes darkened just a little and Michael’s stomach twisted. Alex slowly stepped back into his space, idle fingertips touching his elbows and slowly sliding up his arms and over his shoulders and over his neck and into his hair. He hadn’t even gotten another kiss and Michael felt like his brain had melted.

Alex cradled his head as he pulled him in for another kiss, this one packing much more of a purpose. He parted his lips and welcomed Alex’s tongue against his own. His hands reached for Alex’s hips, pulling him closer as he tilted his head to kiss him a little deeper. His tongue deliberately slid over his sore bottom lip, letting him know he was being careful not to kiss him too hard. Which would’ve been fine, but he didn’t actually care.

Michael pressed in harder and Alex smiled, tugging on his hair gently. Add that to the list of things to make his mind run wild.

They kissed for a while just standing there, both of them too hesitant to move in case they pushed a button that wasn’t willing to be pressed. But the kisses got more sloppy and the touches got more desperate, both of them swaying as they tried so hard to push in closer. Michael couldn’t remember a time he’d been so desperate to touch someone. Suddenly, there was no confusion at all about anything. It was just this, just them.

As Alex’s hands slid beneath his shirt, it reminded Michael of his little Grand Canyon speech. You take what you need, he’d said. Did this count? It felt like it counted. The more he kissed him, the more he realized he’d wanted to do this for a long time. He just… hadn’t let himself think that.

Michael pulled away to remove his shirt, diving back in for another kiss. Alex breathed a hot breath against his mouth as his hands raked over his bare chest, taking in every inch. No one had ever touched him like that. He wanted more.

“Wait,” Michael breathed. Alex snatched his hands away quickly, still breathing heavy as he pulled away to see what was wrong. Michael gave a reassuring smile. “Do you, uh, like, do you… know how to… like…”

Alex smiled at him in a way that could’ve been condescending, but distinctly wasn’t because it was him. He placed his hands on Michael’s chest again.

“Yeah,” he said, “Do you?”

Michael licked his lips and looked down between them. Alex was still fully clothed, but he really, really didn’t want him to be.

“Not, uh, not with a guy,” he admitted, swallowing as he met Alex’s eyes again. There was no judgement. “Kinda lost on how exactly that works.”

“Well, I can explain it to you,” Alex said, “If you want.”

Michael involuntarily moved forward, kissing him hotly. “I want.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed, smiling as he moved his hands up to fiddle with his hair. Michael felt like putty in his hands and he enjoyed every second of it. “But we don’t even have to go, like, that far. I don’t really have any… Like, I didn’t bring lube or anything, didn’t really anticipate this, so maybe we should just stick to the basics.”

“Basics?” Michael repeated. Alex nodded and gave him another kiss.

“If you want to,” Alex told him, “With me.”

“God, Alex,” Michael laughed, shaking his head, “I literally have never wanted anything more than you in my entire life. I feel like my heart is going to explode in my chest. I have never liked someone as much as I like you and it’s really made this weekend impossible to enjoy anything that wasn’t you.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before he softly nodded and pulled him back into a kiss, but this one was a little different. This one was slow and held every goddamn secret in the universe. Yes, they were small, but yes, they were everything.

“C’mon,” Alex said, grabbing his hands and tugging him towards the bed.

Michael followed him with a lifetime of anticipation.

-

A knock sounded on the door to signify that they should be awake.

Michael groaned and went to reach for his phone, but paused when he realized he had the weight of another body on his back. Every moment of the night before all rushed into his mind and he smiled to himself, both excited that he’d been bold enough and disappointed that they probably wouldn’t get the chance to do anything like that again any time soon.

But, then again, he had a truck waiting for him.

“Alex,” Michael said, carefully turning so as not to crush him or throw him off, “We gotta get up. Bus loads in like an hour.”

Alex sighed and lifted his head, looking up at him. Even in his sleep-hazed state, he grinned.

“You’ve got sex hair,” he said. Michael snorted and ran in hands through Alex’s hair.

“Haha, I wonder why.”

“Yeah, me too,” Alex teased, pushing himself up to kiss him again. That one led to another and another and they only broke when more persistent knocking came.

“Michael!” Isobel said, “Open up! I need you or I’m gonna die!”

Michael sighed at her dramatics and looked to Alex with a pout.

“Get dressed, we’ll pretend nothing happened,” Alex said and Michael nodded easily. They both got up and Michael had to brace himself against the wall, feeling a little off-kilter. Alex gave him a filthy grin. “Sore?” he asked innocently, waving two fingers at him. Michael huffed and held up his middle finger.

Eventually, they pulled themselves together and answered Isobel who didn’t seem to notice anything as she headed straight for Michael’s bed.

“She’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” Isobel groaned, “I can’t wait to get home.”

Michael spared a glance at Alex who went into the bathroom to pack all of his shit.

“I don’t know, I think I could entertain this trip for another night or two.”

“Yeah, well your roommate isn’t annoying,” Isobel scoffed. Michael grinned to himself.

“Yeah, you got that right.”

The ride back to Roswell was more than agonizing. Alex sat at the front and Michael sat with Isobel, the only contact they had being over text. It wasn’t enough. They still hadn’t really talked about what happens next. God, he wanted to know. He wanted everything.

He could imagine it easily: the two biggest troublemakers at Roswell High hooking up. They’d be an unstoppable team. The idea made him grin.

When they got back to the school after the multiple hours of trip they endured, Michael went to his truck and waited. Everyone else had their parents pick them up or drove their own cars back home. Things would just go back to normal. It was just a normal class trip. 

Except Alex Manes didn’t have anyone pick him up and he didn’t have a ride. Instead, he just walked up to Michael's truck once most everyone was gone and took a deep breath.

“We should talk,” he said. Michael licked his lips and nodded towards his truck.

“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked. Alex grinned easily.

“Hell yeah I do.”

They definitely did a little more than talking.

Who knew the Grand Canyon could be so great?

[borderlinedennisr]

fic: mac/dennis, dennis-centric

i started thinking about what dennis would do if ur heard that ms kl*nsky had just passed, and i got carried away

warnings: csa mentions, suicidal ideation, self harm mentions, alcohol abuse

.

Dennis is drunk. It’s not out of the ordinary. What is, however, is the fact that he’s wearing a half-buttoned suit, Italian leather shoes, and he’s sat in a waiting cell with three other arrestees.

His head is swimming. Every noise reverberating through the police station is starting to chip away at his patience. Could someone just get him some fucking ibuprofen? He’d happily comply to anything for 400 mg of Advil and a cup of hot coffee.

He tries to focus. He taps a steady rhythm on his knee. His vision is cloudy. He had a lot to drink tonight. And this afternoon. And this morning. His stomach gives a wrench and he involuntarily groans.

“Turn the other direction,” someone hisses at him. “I just bought these shoes.”

Dennis wants to laugh, but everything hurts.

“Hey, this dude’s ‘bout to hurl! Can we get a trash can or something.”

“I’m fine,” Dennis protests. He holds up a hand, but it trembles.

“Dennis Reynolds?”

He points his head in the direction of the voice, but closes his eyes against his blurred vision. He might actually throw up if he doesn’t get it under control.

“It’s time for your phone call.”

Dennis is hoisted upward involuntarily. He’s glad he doesn’t have to think about who he’s going to call. His head is pounding.

.

Mac’s woken up by the sound of his phone vibrating against the coffee table. The sad part is it’s only 9:30 P.M. He’d clearly fallen asleep watching some ... game. His hand grabs the phone and answers it automatically.

“What’s up?”

“Mac? It’s Dennis.”

Mac’s heart stumbles a little. Dennis sounds weird.

“Dude, where are you? Are you okay?”

Dennis heaves a long sigh. “Look - I’m a little bit drunk and I, uh - well - just come to the police station, okay? I’ll explain in person, when ... when I’m more sober.”

Mac blinks. “You got arrested?”

“I’ll explain when you get here,” Dennis insists.

“Dennis, are you okay? What were you doing tonight?”

“Mac, I’m kind of on a tight schedule, here.”

Mac doesn’t seem to register that, because he continues waxing poetic.

“It’s just - you’ve seemed off lately.”

“Mac,” Dennis says sharply.

“Yes?” Mac asks

“Just come to the police station. I have to go.”

He hangs up, leaving Mac listening to the dial tone. Mac sighs.

.

Nobody at the police station knows how to do their goddamn job. Mac just needs to make sure Dennis is okay. He seemed spooked on the phone. In that way that Mac knows to associate with dissociative episodes.

“I’m just looking for my roommate,” Mac presses, pleading with the officer currently on desk duty.

“Sir, you’re gonna have to wait a minute; I’m on in important call,” she snaps out.

“You don’t understand,” Mac retorts. “He’s - he’s vulnerable. I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Sir, if you just give me one second - “

“I can’t wait a second. I need to know he’s okay. He - he gets in these moods sometimes, and well - I don’t really know what he did to end up here, but he’s usually more of a danger to himself when he’s like that, and - “

“Dietrich?! Get over here, and get this man out of my face.”

Mac watches an officer at least a foot taller than him round the desk. He falters.

“Look, I’m not trying to cause, trouble. I’m just worried about my friend - “

“Mac!”

He turns, a grin of relief spreading across his face. Dennis is walking down a hallway, hands cuffed, being lead by the arm of another, nicer-looking officer.

Mac makes a dash for it, skirting the freakishly tall Dietrich, and heading for Dennis. The officer holding his arm grips tighter.

“Excuse me, sir. Please take a step back.”

Mac does. “I’m his roommate. Just tell me what his bail is, so I can get him out of here.”

The officer sighs. “He doesn’t have a bail yet. We’re on the way to his initial hearing right now.”

“What? What are you charging him with?”

“Indecent exposure - “

“It’s not what you think,” Dennis immediately protests. “I - uh - “

“Disorderly intoxication.”

“That’s just downright - “

“And grave desecration.”

Dennis just purses his lips in respond.

“Not to mention your priors.” The officer tugs him roughly. “Now let’s go.”

“Wait - “ Mac starts.

“Boyfriend! You can come too,” the officer says. “Now, quit wasting my time.”

Mac pulls out his cell phone as he follows after them.

“I’m calling Frank,” he tells Dennis. “We’ll figure this out.”

.

“Mr. Dennis Reynolds.”

“That’s me,” Dennis mutters.

“You’ve been brought to council under the chargers of indecent exposure, disorderly intoxication, and grave desecration. Do you understand these terms.”

“Yes,” Dennis says shortly, “but if I could just explain - “

“You’ll get your chance in a minute. Now, - “

“Ayooooooooo!”

The doors to the room fly open, and through them walk Frank, Charlie, and Dee. Dennis groans. He’s still way too drunk for this.

“Uh - excuse me - who are you?” the judge asks.

Dennis wishes he could break out of these handcuffs. Just to give Frank a good neck-wringing.

“Not. Now.” he hisses through his teeth.

“I’m here to pay my son’s bail.”

“Right,” the judge says. “Well, that is what I’m trying to decide. If you could please take a seat and allow me to do my job, we will get there.”

She clears her throat.

“Mr. Reynolds, when you were brought in, your blood alcohol content was .25.”

Somebody whistles. Dennis doesn’t want to know who, but he has a feeling it’s his dumbass father.

“I was drinking today, yes.”

“That excessively?” The judge’s gaze bares down on him over the rim of her wire glasses.

“It’s been a hard day,” he forces out. His throat is suddenly dry.

“Mr. Reynolds, it would be easy to assume the ramifications of grief in your incident, had we only the public intoxication and the presence of yourself in a graveyard, yet -“ She makes a show of checking the police report. “You were found urinating on a grave.”

Dennis clenches his jaw. “Did you get a name on the grave?”

The judge checks the file. Her eyebrows crease together. She glances to someone off to her right, who then approaches her. They whisper something Dennis can’t hear.

“We did not get a name, Mr. Reynolds. However, the owner of the grave has no relevance to - “

“Klinsky,” Dennis interrupts.

“I beg your pardon,” the judge says.

“Klinsky,” Dennis repeats. “The name on the grave was Klinsky.”

Dennis doesn’t have to look to know that behind him, all members of the gang have become rife with tension. The judge clearly notices it too, because her expression changes. She glances at the members of his support party.

“I take it you know this person,” she says, awkwardly clearing her throat.

Dennis laughs, darkly. It probably doesn’t help his case.

“She was my school librarian.”

He lets the silence ring for a second. He doesn’t know exactly where he’s going. He doesn’t like sharing, but it feels almost involuntarily.

“When I was 14. She - “ Dennis swallows hard. This better fucking emancipate him. “She molested me, several times.”

After a long, agonizing second, the judge takes a deep breath and collapses against the chair.

Dennis feels impatience buzz under his skin. “What, you don’t believe me?”

The judge shakes her head. “Mr. Reynolds, I’m dropping all charges. You’re free to go.”

A couple odd claps ring out. Dennis doesn’t care. He shoves his wrists to his public defender, who motions for the attending officer to join them. He unlocks the handcuffs. Dennis glances at his long-fading scars while he rubs his tender skin.

Mac is the first to reach him, placing both hands on either of Dennis’ upper arms. “Den, are you okay?”

Dennis chuckles. “Why wouldn’t I be? I just got off scott-free. I don’t even know why she believed me.”

“Because you’re crying, Dennis.”

His eyes snap up to meet Mac’s. An involuntary hand feels his face. His fingers come away with tear stains.

“Oh.”

Mac wipes a fresh tear from his cheek.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Dennis shrugs. “It was just a chance I saw that Facebook post. Everything after that was rage.”

Mac cups his jaw with one hand, keeps the other on Dennis’ bicep.

“Let’s go home, get you sobered up.”

Dennis doesn’t really like the idea of sobering up, but at least if he’s with Mac, there’s a silver lining.

.

Dennis falls asleep with ease, lying comfortably in his bed. Pleased, Mac passed out beside him, foolishly reassured.

It’s still dark outside when Mac wakes up to an empty bed. Panic floods Mac’s bloodstream. He unceremoniously de-tangles himself from the blankets and stumbles upward. He hears a violent fetching sound and hurries to bathroom.

Dennis is pale-faced on the floor, and in the fluorescent light from overhead, Mac can see the excessive damage he must have done to himself in the past 24 hours. He makes a mental not to keep on eye on the state of the wounds while Dennis regains his composure.

“I drank . . . a lot.”

Mac eases himself to his knees.

“How much are we talking?” he asks, placing a hand on Dennis’ clammy forehead. “Should I be worried?” He grabs Dennis’ chin and forces it up, trying to get a better look at Dennis’ eyes.

Dennis clears his throat. “Nah. I always thought alcohol poisoning was pretty much how I would go anyway.”

Mac frowns. “Don’t do that - “

Dennis laughs, darkly. “It’s not like I have a history or anything.”

Mac’s expression flips, and he looks at Dennis with glassy eyes and a trembling mouth. “Were you - ?”

Dennis shrugs. “Who knows.”

Mac grabs his neck, almost roughly, and cradles his hand against Dennis’ skin. “Talk to me,” he begs.

A warm, disruptive tear slips down Dennis’ cheek. He sighs. He’s tired of involuntarily crying. He’s still blasting chunks, but god does his hand itch for the bottle.

“What do you want me to say, Mac?” he asks, voice low and gruff, barely above a whisper. “That I’m angry? That I’m sad?” He offers a crooked smile. “That I’m furious at that bitch for fucking me up beyond repair? And maybe I wish I could have gotten even just a word in edgewise before she decided to croak? That now I’m so fucking depressed that I want nothing more than to just kill myself so I can stop feeling this horrible and endless hurricane of emotions?”

He spits into the toilet. “Because I’m fine. I’m glad that perverted old bitch is dead. I’m ecstatic.”

Mac heaves a deep breath. “Dennis - “

He’s saved the trauma of continuing the conversation by another wave of vomit forcing its way out.

.

When dawn breaks, Mac hears his name in a soft voice. It takes him a moment to register that Dennis is awake in the bed beside him.

“What’s wrong?” he asks earnestly.

Dennis’ voice trembles. “If our situations were reversed, I would remove everything sharp from our apartment.”

Still a bit bleary, Mac takes a second to digest the words before fully realizing what Dennis is saying. Then he’s on his feet.

“Is your secret blade stash still in the loose floorboard under the sink?”

Dennis blinks. “I - “

Mac nods. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

By the time Mac has packed every knife, blade, and vaguely edgy kitchen utensil in a plastic bin and dropped it off at Dee’s, Dennis is asleep again.

Mac doesn’t disturb him.

.

It happens when they’re eating breakfast. Mac looks up to discover Dennis crying into his eggs. He makes a move to get up, but Dennis shakes his head.

“Den?”

And he laughs. He laughs and he wheezes and his eyes start to water even more and Mac just stares, confused.

“Mac, you should have seen everyone’s faces when I walked into the funeral home drunk as shit and grabbed the mic. I made up a touching story about how I babysat her cats once and may or may not have stolen a family heirloom in a crime they cannot prove.”

Mac stares at him, half horrified, half amused. “You crashed funeral?”

“And I flirted with her grandson. Sorry, babe.”

“It’s fine. Clearly, it didn’t work out.”

Dennis heaves a stuttering breath the tears starting up again.

“I always hated you guys for bringing her up, but you were always right.”

“Dennis - “

“And, I know I’ve done a lot of bad things, and - “

He presses a shaky hand against his chest. He might be hyperventilating, but he can’t stop babbling now.

“Dennis, you don’t have - “

“Sometimes I think - sometimes I think I deserve it.”

“ . . . Dennis.”

He smiles at Mac. “You can’t argue that, and you know it.”

Mac shakes his head firmly. “You were a kid - “

“And look at me now.”

“Dennis Reynolds, stop being fucking stupid. You were a kid. You did not deserve that, and you still don’t. And I’m sorry.”

Dennis looks up, curiously. “For what?“

Mac shrugs. He’s crying. Dennis doesn’t comment on it.

“That that happened to you, man. It’s like - you know how you and everyone else kept trying to get me to come out of the closet and admit who I was to myself?”

Dennis nods, uncertain where this is going.

“It was killing me. Keeping everything bottled up, not letting myself feel things, forcing myself to live in fear everyday - it made me hate being alive. Dennis, you’ve been suicidal since we met. You have to let go of everything you’re holding inside, and this is the start. I know it hurts now, but it’ll change.”

Dennis looks to the ceiling and squeezes his eyes shut. A sob chokes it’s way out of his throat.

“I don’t even know where to start, Mac,” he whispers.

“Anywhere,” Mac tells him.

Dennis wishes he has the energy to smile, but he’s so tired. He pushed his plate away. He wipes at his eyes and sniffs.

“Can we call in today?”

[tsfanart]

The Last Week--Chapter 6

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

--

At 5:30 on Friday evening, Logan got into his car, drove across the street, and pulled over. He froze. It felt weird to not get out of his car and ring the doorbell...but Logan didn't feel like wasting his time anymore, either. So, with a wince, he lifted his hand and honked the horn.

Virgil came out a few minutes later and got in the passenger side. "Hey!" he greeted. "How was your day?"

"It was fine, and yours?" Logan asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Pretty normal on my end," Virgil said, but then he trailed off.

The car ride was quiet the rest of the way, but when they reached the restaurant, Logan softened a little. They parked the car and made their way inside.

"Oh, hey there, guys!" the host greeted them. "Funny seeing you both here so late in the year!"

Virgil shrugged. "Yeah, well, here we are. Reservation for two?"

The host found the reservation and led the boys to their table, and Logan smiled a little more. Virgil couldn't have come up with the idea at the last minute if they had a reservation.

They sat at the table and ordered their usuals, and then Virgil perked up. "Oh hey, guess what I brought!" he singsonged. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two pens and a pad of sticky notes.

Logan grinned in spite of himself and reached for a sticky note. He took one of the pens and scanned the room, looking for things to write down. It was a game they always played when they went to Baire's Lair--a combination of I Spy and 20 Questions. They each had to write down three things that they saw around them, and then they would trade piles. Then Logan would put one of the things that Virgil saw to stick on the latter's forehead, and vice versa.

"Alright, you ready?" Virgil asked after a few minutes. Logan looked up and nodded.

"Okay then...time to trade!" Virgil announced. The two exchanged piles of sticky notes and looked them over.

Logan stared down at the notes in front of him. One of them was a green jacket that a man the next table over was wearing; another was the salt shaker that was right in front of them; and the last one was...a Miami State hat that someone on their other side was wearing.

His heart sank at that last one, but he selected it anyway. It was all that mattered at that point, after all.

Logan looked up and nodded, and he and Virgil both leaned across the table to put their respective sticky notes on each other. They sat back.

"Alright, so, you ready?" Virgil asked. Logan gave a thumbs up, so Virgil leaned forward and stroked his chin.

"Hm..." Virgil began, "am I all one color?"

Logan shook his head. "Nope. Mostly one, though. Uh...am I green?"

"No, you are not!"

The game continued as normal for the next few minutes, interrupted only by the arrival of their food. Virgil guessed his pretty easily, but it was a while before it became clear to Logan what was going on.

"Wait..." Logan said, "am I the Harvard sweatshirt that's on the coat rack over there?"

Virgil nodded cheerfully. "Yup! You've got it!"

"Huh. I guess we were kind of on the same page then, huh?" Logan choked out.

Virgil shrugged. "Eh, makes enough sense. It's only a few days off, right?"

Virgil's nonchalant behavior was starting to disturb Logan again. "Yeah...that it is. But hey, no sense in worrying about that, right?" He ripped off the sticky note and crumpled it. "We've still got a little over a day left, after all."

"Yeah, for sure," Virgil said, and Logan looked up, surprised to realize that the other's voice had cracked.

Logan glanced down at his plate and looked back up at his soon-to-be ex shyly. "Hey, um, do you want to maybe get a check or something? And then after that we could..."

"Go to the park?" Virgil finished. Logan nodded tearfully, and Virgil gave a half smile. After paying for their food, the two left to walk to the public park just a few blocks away from the restaurant. They found a patch of grass, moved a foot or so away from each other, and laid down for a while to stargaze and think.

After around half an hour had passed, Virgil got up to lay down next to Logan. Logan turned to look at him.

"I'm glad you're gonna be able to do such great things next year," Virgil said shakily. "Really, I am. And you should be proud of yourself for it."

Logan looked down and picked at the grass below him. He shrugged. "I know, I am. It's just...I'm gonna miss you."

"You are?" Virgil asked in disbelief.

Logan sat up and tilted his head. "Well, yeah, of course. Nobody at Harvard knows what I need when I get anxious at the store. No one there knows how to play our sticky note game. No one else has had an epic pillow fight with me or endured Mr. Spinner's wrath firsthand. And no one has seen me at my worst and decided to stick around anyway.

"And I know everyone says that I'll make new friends and stuff, but...I don't care, okay? It doesn't matter. They're all the same. Just faceless, pretentious blobs." He laid back down again. "But look, I'm happy for you too. I'm glad you're so excited about all this...at least one of us is, anyway."

Virgil's heart sank with guilt. "Logan, I...I owe you an apology for what went down yesterday. I thought I could trick myself into being happy and not caring. Because you're right, everyone around us is saying that."

"Well..." Logan began thoughtfully, "screw what everyone else says. Maybe they don't have the right idea. And maybe...maybe we had the wrong idea here in trying to live in the present this whole time."

"Yeah..." Virgil said. His lip started trembling. "But...we're okay though?"

"I think so, yeah," Logan replied. He outstretched his arms, and Virgil leaned in for a real hug this time.

Eventually, Logan pulled back. "Well, hey, there's still one thing left to do!" he pointed out. He stood up and extended his hand, and Virgil took it.

"That there is," he said with a smile. "So...your room, or mine?"

"Probably yours," Logan said. "We'll head back home and meet up in a few minutes?"

Virgil nodded. "Sounds like a plan," he said. The two walked arm in arm back to Logan's car, and had one last silent car ride home.

--

Shortly after getting home, Logan knocked on the Donovans' door for the last time, hiding his gift behind his back. Virgil opened the door.

"Hey...come on in," he said shyly.

Logan ducked his head and followed Virgil upstairs, but when they got to the door, Virgil paused. "Wait, one second..." He ran inside and got his own gift, and then opened the door again hiding it behind his own back. He nodded, and Logan came inside.

They sat down on the bed. "So...we'll share them on the count of three?" Virgil asked shakily.

Logan nodded, and they counted down. And then, as if they were hot potatoes, the boys both threw their gifts in the other's lap and glanced at one another sheepishly.

Logan looked down at his lap. As he had figured, Virgil had made him a multicolored scarf. He smiled and picked it up. "Oh, wow. This is really great. Thank you!" he said genuinely.

"Yeah, it's..." Virgil began. Then he turned red and chewed on his nail again.

Logan tilted his head. "It's what?"

Virgil looked straight ahead and started swinging his feet. "Well, the colors aren't exactly random. I mean, the colors themselves don't mean anything, but their order does."

"Oh yeah? And what meaning would that be?"

Virgil took a deep breath. "Well, I was thinking about how your messages for the week were in Morse Code, among other things, of course, and I wondered if I could do something with that for your gift, and I thought, what if each color represented a different thing? So the pairs of blue rows stand for dots and the pairs of purple rows stand for dashes. And the single black rows stand for letter breaks and the single gold rows stand for word breaks."

Logan smiled in awe, and examined the scarf closely. Virgil turned to look at him. "It's upside down," he clarified.

"Oh! Okay." Logan turned the scarf around and continued inspecting it. Finally he laid it in his lap and let out a high-pitched sound. "Logan and Virgil," he choked out.

Virgil nodded, and Logan leaned over to hug him again. "Thank you so much."

Virgil smiled. "You are so welcome. But hey, now it's your turn!" He picked up his gift, which looked like some sort of atom model made with the wires and styrofoam. "What exactly is this, anyway?"

"Oh, right, of course!" Logan lit up. "That's a Cesium atom. It measures seconds in an atomic clock. Did you know that one electron in the outer shell of a Cesium atom vibrates over nine billion times every second?"

Virgil raised his eyebrows. "Wow, really?"

"Yup!" Logan nodded. "That's the technical definition of a second, actually. Anyway, there are over 250 million seconds in eight years, and I multiplied those numbers together to get...two quintillion, three hundred nineteen quadrillion, one hundred ninety trillion, six hundred eighty-three billion, nine hundred eighty-nine million, seven hundred sixty thousand vibrations all together during the time that we've known each other. And that's the number that's written on the nucleus. Oh yeah, also I used rainbow beads for the electrons because, well, that's self-explanatory." He trailed off and looked away, but Virgil brought his face back around and kissed him on the nose.

"This is, without a doubt, the Logan-est gift I've ever seen in my life. And I mean that in the best way possible."

Logan broke out into a grin and sighed in relief. "Thanks, Virgil...for everything."

Virgil nodded again and shoved both of the gifts aside, and pulled Logan into the tightest hug he could muster. Logan reciprocated the hug and held onto his boyfriend for dear life, and they stayed that way the whole rest of the evening until they fell asleep.

[abdicatedarchive]

truly tied || rose and marina

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: marina’s dorm room // spring 2021.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: rose x marina.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: none.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: rose and marina end their several month long bet from who can hold out on romantic interests the longest.

Rose walked into Marina's room without knocking, as per usual. To a certain extent it was like they still lived at home. She was nervous to admit her defeat, it wasn't every day that Rosemary Hollingsworth conceded to Marina Hollingsworth. She was shocked the bet had lasted this long at all. "Okay so I have some news" she said with a big sigh as she flopped down onto her sister's bed. "And you're totally not allowed to happy dance for you, you're only allowed to happy dance for me. Sisters honor. Because I totally could have lied to you" Rosemary rambled before she got to the news.

Marina was almost finished with her journaling when Rose walked in. She was planning on going to her sister's room after she was finished to give the unfortunate news of her loss, but it seemed like this was happening sooner than expected. "One, if you lied, I would definitely find out." she said to lighten the mood a bit. "But two, I also have news for you. You go first though, mine is not happy news." Marina said before tilting her head to the side. "Well, bad for me, not so much for you."

Rose faked shock and hurt, "Ummmm, you most definitely would not!!!" she joked. Rose would have caved and immediately told her regardless, which is exactly what she was doing right now. "bad news second? Okay, your funeral" said Rosemary with a little bit of judgment. What had Marina done? What was the bad news? "OoooOOoh, bad for you! Well I think we are in the same boat then sister dearest. It's gonna come down to the finish line" Rose said, a glint of hope in her eyes that she had not lost the bet. Oh sweet sweet victory come home to Rosie!!!!! "It was Taylor, and oh my GOD. I don't know if it's because I haven't had sex in months or what?! But it was AMAZING, I thought he was a total softie and inexperienced but WHOA" said Rose, blushing just talking about it.

Marina perked up a bit once Rose mentioned they were in the same boat. Of course after all this time, they would both give in. Maybe Marina didn't lose after all, things were starting to look up. Winning never seemed so sweet. But they could talk about that after they share who they hooked up with. That was vital information, and they deserved a little time of hyping each other up, even though she wasn't sure how her sister would take her news. Saoirse wasn't exactly the best girl for Marina. "Ooooh! He's so cute!" she squealed in excitement. "Taylor news now, bet talk after." Marina had seen Taylor around and he seemed like a pretty shy guy. Super harmless, probably very sweet. "So what's gonna happen now with you two? Was it just a one time thing, or are you trying to see him more?"

Rose was blushing, "It sounds like we're going to see each other again tomorrow. So that's looking up. He can't get enough of this!" she squealed. Ahh, being interested in someone so great set Rose's brain on fire. Finally a good thing going for her. No more shitty guys or shitty girls. Just Rose and someone who cares. "Wait, hold on a second. You have not said the name of your person. Are you ashamed?" Rose squinted her eyes and tried to get a good read on her sister. "Was it ... Chase? Jonah? A friend moment you cannot return from? Nerd sex? Why aren't you telling me. But now don't tell me I'm going to figure it out" she said, accepting the challenge for herself. "Nerd sex is a hot commodity, I feel like you wouldn't do that unless you were prepped and had the perfect outfit and location, so it has to be like emotionally embarrassing. Hmmmm" she said, thinking harder and not smarter. "Emotionally embarrassing. An ex?" she said as the lightbulb went off over her head, "Saorise?!" she said, her eyes going wide with that doe like shock.

Marina smiled wide at Rose, she just wanted the best for her sister, and that included people she would potentially date. She was always quick to defend the people she loved, but she knew she couldn't be overprotective either. She quickly pulled her sister in for a quick hug, "Even though I'm hoping you didn't win, I'm happy for you." she paused to pull away. "But you know if any sus behavior starts to occur, you can tell me. I promise I won't lash out." Marina wanted to remind Rose to always put herself first, but she didn't want to come across like she was implying something. They both had gone through quite a bit of problems separately, and a lot had resulted from it. She listened to her sister think out loud, and knew where this was going. It wouldn't take long for her to figure it out. Marina groaned when Saoirse's name was brought up and she immediately buried her face in the palm of her hands. "Maybe." she mumbled through her hands before picking her head up. "But it was just a one time thing. Really. I think it was the lack of sex that had me acting up."

Rosemary knew better than to let herself get hurt again, but something about Taylor had her putting down her guard so easily. Maybe it's how long he took to make a move, how she felt like she was always making moves. She gave Marina a mildly dissapointed face, "I mean hey. The body wants what the body wants. Whether or not the head and the heart agree" said Rose. She couldn't exactly judge her sister for double dipping with someone she shouldn't. Rose was all up on her high school ex every waking minute after their break up. It was tragic. "Yeah as long as you have that boundary I feel like its no harm" she reasoned. Doing her best to be supportive. If this is what Marina wanted, and knew herself then she had absolutely no reason to worry. "Was it as good as you remembered it? Before we compare time stamps" said Rose, still thinking mildly about their little bet.

Marina could see the disappointment on Rose's face, but she wasn't going to keep driving it in that it was just a one time thing. That would make it look like she was lying ... and she wasn't lying. Marina had gained some self control since her and Saoirse first ended things. She was a very impulsive person, but she was getting better. Really. "Yeah, exactly, and now that the bet's off. I could just hook up with anyone, maybe go on a few dates. She won't even be in my thoughts." she said, convincingly enough. She was convincing herself in this moment, and that was enough for her. "But yeah. It was actually better than I remember. Like a lot better ... but I mean, whatever." she shrugged casually. "But enough of that, let's talk times. I have mine on my phone." she said proudly before going into her notes app. Did that sound silly? Maybe. But it wasn't to the Hollingsworth girls.

Rose was happy with Marina's answer. She knew her sister would probably sleep with Saorise again, but we all learn lessons in our own time. God knows Marina had to watch Rose learn some hard lessons in high school, and Rose had to watch Marina too. It's hard to not be able to protect the people that you love. "Yes. Times" said Rose as she pulled up her own notes app. "Okay, I had sex around 9pm last night" said the girl. She had a more exact time, but she didn't want to be weird about it. If they needed to get into specifics she was more than ready.

Marina looked up from her phone and stayed silent for minute. Not this shit... She also had the time down at 9 pm last night, but luckily, she had more specific details for the time. But she wasn't expecting to get into that. There was absolutely no way that they were on the same time, right? "Uh... around 9? Or 9? Or like 9:30?" she asked. "Cause we seem to be cutting it real close right now."

Down to the wire between the Hollingsworth girls. Who was going to take the victory? It was too close to tell. "closer to 9:15. What about you?" she asked, hoping that it was too close to call. Even if she did loose she could always call bullshit on the fact that it was super close. It wouldn't be a satisfying win for either of the girls. And after all this time. Goddamnit.

"I hate us." Marina whined as she showed her sister the time that was typed out on her phone. All these months, all this restraint ... for a tie. How does that even happen? "Is this the downfall of having a twin? Because neither of us signed up for that." she sighed dramatically. "Can't we just say we both technically won? There's no actual loser soooo." It wasn't a real win, but she was officially over it.

Rosemary hated not winning. But she did have a plan, "Well ... we can just assume that Paola and Max both lost way before us. So we are the family champions" she said, even though the bet hadn't been a complete waste of time. She had become a lot better about who she was spending time with and being more selective with people. Rose also learned how many people were in her life just to sleep with her or to hook up at parties. That had been frustrating. But she guessed on some level she knew it all along.

"Yeaaah ... yeah! Let's go with that." Marina nodded her head and pointed at Rose. She was glad the bet was over, but she just hoped that she didn't fall back into old habits. She found herself always being some kind of rebound to others, someone temporary. It wasn't something she liked to think too hard on though, it only made her feel worse about herself. "Well since we are the family champions, we deserve a treat. Smoothie time?" she suggested.

"Smoothie time" she responded, thinking about how happy she was with Taylor. How it finally felt like someone wasn't using her for something. Freshman year was looking up as it came to a close, "Did you see the email that we're assigned to the same cabin? We are so going to crush cabin olympics" said the girl as she picked her bag up and they headed out the door. "I know Magnolia and Kaia are going to give us a run for our money, but we can manipulate them into arguing" said Rose as she arched her eyebrow and smiled. "It'll be too easy" she added.

"There's pretty much no competition for us, we got this." Marina said all excited before she grabbed her bag and locked the door as they left. When one competition was finished, another started, but this time, her and Rose were a team. They were practically unstoppable. "I don't even think we need to manipulate them, they argue all on their own. Buuuut that still is a fun idea." she added in with a small smirk. "Magnolia trying to act all sweet in front of the kids, Kaia trying to not kick her ass in the process. Oh how I miss summer camp!"

"And who knows, maybe you'll have a summer love" encouraged Rosemary, "you know what they say. What happens at camp stays at camp". Rose knew she wasn't going to be doing any of that. It was going to be all late night phone calls and quick weekend getaways to get to see Taylor, "I already have mine. So consider me on Marina wingwoman duty effective immediately" she said, her smile shining bright. Anything to distract her from Saorise. "Plus we can definitely pull some very creative pranks on Jonah and Chase. Maybe even Wren" said the girl with a wicked smile. //END

[halfabreath]

Jack/Holster, “why do i even bother?” :D

big ol’ thank you to @chocolatechipcookiesplease for listening while i hashed out this verse and for the cutest suggestion in the world.

Adam might be a morning person - he’s a farmer, it comes with the territory - but his partner is not. Jack, inexplicably, is neither a morning person nor a night owl. Instead of thriving at a certain period of time, he just requires at least seven, preferably seven and a half, hours of sleep. His body usually doesn’t allow him to get more than that and if he gets less he’s impossible to wake without becoming irritable and grouchy.

The second Adam opens his eyes, he knows what kind of a day it’s going to be. He’s laying on his side, Jack’s arm draped over his waist. Jack’s pressed close, tucked up against Adam’s back, and when Adam shifts to turn off his alarm Jack doesn’t move at all. His breathing is even against the back of Adam’s neck, and there’s no harm in giving him another few minutes before they have to get up.

Adam reaches for his phone, content to scroll through trade speculations (there are rumors that Chris Chow might end up with the Falconers) or stream an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before waking the beast, but after he unlocks it with sleep-stupid fingers and adjusts the brightness, the page refuses to load. Adam stares at the blank, still-too-bright screen for a long moment, then drops the phone with a groan. There’s no service and the wifi’s out, leaving them technologically stranded in the wilderness. Sure, there’s the landline Jack insists on keeping, but Adam can’t watch 30 Rock through a Stone Age artifact, can he? They have to upgrade to a better plan. Adam can’t live like this - he won’t live like this.

Annoyed, Adam picks up Jack’s arm by the wrist and tosses it behind him, letting it flop onto the mattress. He’s already sitting up by the time Jack reacts, burrowing into the pillows and wrapping his arm around Adam’s waist as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“Nope,” Adam says, voice deeper than usual from a night of disuse. He removes Jack’s arm again, this time gently setting it on the bed. “I’m mad at you.” How did he manage to fall for someone who thinks the Internet is an optional amenity? Blasphemer.

“Oh, okay.” Jack mumbles, accepting the news easily. He rolls over, taking the blankets with him. Double blasphemer. Adam stares at the back of his head until his breathing evens out again, smiling softly despite his annoyance. Ugh, love. He pulls the blankets up over Jack’s shoulder and stands, stretching before beginning the day.

When Adam steps back in the house after feeding and milking the animals Jack is standing by the stove, stirring a pot of oatmeal. The sun is just beginning to rise, weak rays streaming through the blinds, but Adam only has eyes for the mug of tea waiting for him and the unfairly attractive man holding it. He tears off his boots and slides across the hardwood floors, coming to a stop just before he crashes into Jack. Just when he reaches for the mug, though, Jack pulls it back deftly. He moves the mug around, deftly keeping the hot liquid from sloshing over the sides, playing a quick game of keep-away until Adam pouts.

“Jack,” He whines, leaning to the side dramatically. “Why? Why are you like this?” Jack just grins and turns off the stove, still holding Adam’s beverage hostage.

“Why are you mad at me?” Jack asks calmly.

Adam rolls his eyes, leaning against the counter for support when the full-body motion disrupts his balance. “Jack Zimmermann, I cannot believe you’re willing to deprive me of sustenance in your sick manipulative mind-games.” Adam says, swiping at the mug in a lame attempt to take it back. Jack just raises an eyebrow and moves it further away.

“Tea doesn’t contain any proteins, carbohydrates, or calories.” Jack reminds him, the anchors of his lips curling up in his smug chirping smile.

“Emotional sustenance, then.” Adam amends, drawing himself up to his full height. He pulls two bowls down from the cabinet, setting them beside the stove for whenever Jack deigns to serve them. His partner waits patiently, leaning against the counter with that same smug expression. Adam sighs and opens a drawer, digging around for two spoons. “The wifi’s out again.” He says, letting the metal utensils clatter against the clay bowls. Jack hums and hands him the mug and turns back to the stove to begin portioning out the oatmeal.

“You’ve only been awake for an hour, Holtzy. When did you have time to use the internet?” Jack hands him a full bowl, their fingers brushing during the hand-off.

Adam immediately dumps cinnamon and honey into the oatmeal, mixing it in with more force than necessary. “When I woke up, obviously, and if we had service I could check traffic, e-mails, the weather, figure out where Chris Chow signed, if the world ended during the night or something. Important stuff!” He tosses in a handful of the blueberries Jack had set out, doing the same to Jack’s oatmeal as he speaks.

“No,” Jack steps into his space, reaching around him easily to pick up the jar of honey. “You wanted to watch the Forty Rocks and - ”

“Don’t you dare.” Adam says, interrupting Jack decisively. “Not under my roof.” He punctuates the words with a firm poke to Jack’s chest with the end of the spoon.

“Our roof,” Jack corrects, bumping against Adam easily on his way to the table. Adam groans and follows him, dropping into the chair across from him. “And you know we don’t need wifi. The money has to go towards things that keep the farm running, like new fences.” They’ve been over this too many times to count, but Adam rolls out his old argument anyway.

“Fences are dumb.” He says, brows knitting together in annoyance when Jack chimes in with him.

Jack continues, stirring his oatmeal in a perfect inward-outward spiral. “They’re your cows, Adam, and I know you don’t want them roaming away.”

Adam’s just taken a huge bite of oatmeal but he speaks through the inconvenience. “They would never.” He protests, the words only slightly muffled by the food in his mouth. He swallows quickly, hoping to continue before Jack chimes in again, but he’s too late.

“They would, actually.” Jack says. “The pasture fences are on their last legs and if we save the money we were using on premium wifi we can repair them this fall.” He’s had to make the same argument again and again but he just continues to eat his breakfast. “But what do I know? Bees don’t need fences.”

“Bees don’t need fences.” Adam mimics, flicking a blueberry at him. It goes wide, sailing over Jack’s shoulder before it lands on the hardwoods. Jack, the bastard, just laughs, stupidly handsome in the morning light. “Why do I even bother?” Adam asks, but doesn’t move away when Jack presses their knees together under the table. Jack shrugs and takes a bite of oatmeal, and Adam finally takes a sip of the tea he fought so hard for. It’s perfect, because Jack always makes it exactly how Adam likes it. It’s endearing and annoying all at once.

Adam plays the FRIENDS theme song in the truck on their way to the market in retaliation, because sometimes that’s all you can do when your boyfriend is thoughtful and doles out crucial financial advice to keep your dairy cows from wandering away.

It’s a busy day at the Providence Green Market. Jack’s stock is wiped out - he always underestimates how much he’ll sell - but luckily the crowd thins out an hour or so before closing. Adam’s just selling the last of his “Ewe Calf to be Kidding Me” blue cheese when Jack appears behind him, hand settling low on Adam’s back. He can feel the warmth of his partner’s palm through his shirt, and he can’t help leaning back to press against the contact.

“I have to run an errand but I’ll be back before the market closes.” Jack says, and he’s already on the other side of the table by the time Adam processes the news.

“You can’t just leave me here!” He calls out, but Jack just keeps walking, raising his hand in a wave goodbye. Adam rolls his eyes and turns back to his customer, a short blonde guy who’s looking up at him with big, brown eyes. “You see what I have to put up with?”

The customer laughs, adjusting the tote bag full of produce on his shoulder so he can cross his arms. “I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend ditches me whenever I come over here.”

“Why’s that?” Adam asks, carefully transferring the cheese from the wire to the paper he’s placed on the cutting board.

“Oh, he’s weird about talking to people he admires. Apparently y'all are both hockey,” The man waves his hand in a vague gesture as he searches for the right word. “People?”

Adam huffs out a little laugh, looking down the cheese he’s wrapping. Jack’s past is more well known than his stint in Juniors, but every now and again some hardcore hockey fan realizes who they both were. “We used to be. Now we’re cheese people. Well, Jack’s a bee person. I’d sell you some of his honey but we’re all out.” He nods at the other half of the booth, where Jack’s neat display was laid out earlier in the day.

“I’ll have to come back next week, then. I’ve got a couple recipes I’ve been meaning to workshop that all need honey but I’m not sure which kind is best yet.” The man says as Adam tapes up the corners of the paper neatly. He handles it gently when Adam passes it to him, tucking it carefully on top of the other products in his bags.

Adam’s fingers fly over the calculator as he adds up the customer’s order. “I’ll make sure we set a couple jars aside for you, and you should bring your boyfriend. Jack will walk you through the best honey for different recipes and I always want to talk about hockey.” He explains, turning the calculator to show the man his total.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He reaches into the pockets of his - okay, those are really short - shorts and digs out a neatly folded bill. “I’m Bitty, by the way,” he says as Adam counts out his change. “College nickname, but it stuck.”

“Hey, I was Holtzy for a few years so I know how you feel. You can call me that or Adam. The asshole who ditched me is Jack.” Adam explains with a smile. Bitty matches his expression as he collects his change and tucks it back into his pocket.

“That’s Justin, back there.” Bitty thumbs over his shoulder, gesturing towards a tall man who’s examining the books at Connor Whisk’s antiques stall. He’s got cheekbones that rival Jack’s and his full lips are turned up in a small smile as he carefully thumbs through the yellowed pages of an old book. “I’ll see you next week!” Bitty says, disrupting Adam’s staring with a cheerful wave. Adam blinks and somehow manages to wave back, watching as Bitty meanders through the thin crowd to end up at Justin’s side. Bitty goes onto his toes to whisper into to Justin’s ear, and as Adam watches his cheeks darken as he drops the book. Justin look back at Adam in shock, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, before he hurries away. Bitty laughs and chases after him. They look good together, in their bright clothing and easy smiles.

Yeah, Jack definitely has to meet them.

The final hour drags by as a few more people stop for samples. He doesn’t sell out of anything else, unfortunately, which means Jack’s going to gloat all night because they have to channel their competitive natures into something besides sports and board games.

When Jack returns he doesn’t offer an explanation but he does press a kiss to Adam’s cheek before he begins loading the coolers into the truck, and really, that’s all Adam needs. He wrestles Jack’s arm across the console during the drive home, lacing their fingers together while he sings along to the radio. When they reach the farm the move seamlessly into their routine: Jack unloads the truck while Adam heads to the barn, where a handful of needy goats and cows are waiting for him. By the time he’s finished there are muddy goat-prints covering his jeans, an ache in his lower back over and a scratch from the grouchy barn cat he always tries to pet on the back of his hand, but at least there’s food in the oven when he trudges back inside. Jack’s not in the kitchen or bedroom when Adam walks through to change, but when he comes back after a shower there’s plastic bag on the kitchen table.

It’s stuffed full, the white plastic stretched around the ninety degree corners that stick out in all directions. Adam ambles over, his long day and various aches and pains forgotten as he reaches inside. His calloused fingers close around smooth plastic and when he pulls the object out Rachel Green is staring out at him, her friends asleep around her. He reaches back in and pulls out another DVD case, then another, and another, until scattered seasons of his favorite shows are spread out on the kitchen table. Community, FRIENDS, 30 Rock, The Office, Arrested Development, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks and Recreation are all there, as is one season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

“Oh, no.” Jack’s disappointed voice cuts through the silent kitchen. When Adam turns he’s leaning against the door frame, toeing off his shoes. “I didn’t think you’d be done yet.” He’s frowning as he walks across the room, blue eyes narrowing. “You weren’t supposed to see until I had all the seasons.” Jack glares down at the DVD cases like they’ve betrayed him, and Adam reaches out to pull him in by the collar of his flannel.

“You remembered all my shows,” He says softly, the words murmured into the short distance between them. Jack just nods, and looks at Adam like he’s just said something stupid.

“You talk about them all the time.” Jack explains, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “Even in your sleep.” And, okay, that’s new information, but Adam doesn’t have time to process it. Jack remembered his shows. It shouldn’t be surprising, not really, because Jack’s absolutely right. He’ll ramble on about plot twists from seasons past or describe scenes in detail but as much and as loudly as he touts his opinion, he doesn’t ever assume someone’s actually listening to him.

He shakes his head and opens his mouth to try to explain, shakes his head, and then tilts his head forward to kiss Jack instead. Jack wraps a strong arm around his waist and holds him tight, only pulling back when the oven timer sounds. The shrill beeping continues even as Adam places another short kiss on Jack’s lips, then another on his cheek, an another on his forehead. Jack just squeezes his hip and hurries to the oven.

After dinner, a second shower, and a quick sheet change, Adam’s queued up the first episode of Parks and Recreation. “Now, bear with me through the first couple episodes, but I think you’ll like it after that.” He explains as Jack crawls into bed. “You’re like, an amalgamation of a bunch of these characters.” Adam lifts an arm so Jack can rest against his shoulder.

“I bear with you twenty four hours a day. I think I can handle thirty minutes.” Jack shoots back, and presses play before Adam can retaliate.

“Hello. Hi. My name is Leslie Knope and I work for the Parks and Recreation department. Can I ask you a few questions?”

[theemightypen]

2, 80, 152, 154 for Éothíriel, please :)

Other prompts are under the cut! :) 

2) “Not you again…” (Canon)

“Not you again,” Eomer grumbles.

“Eomer!” Cries Eowyn, horror plain her voice.

“Yes, me again,” Lothiriel chirps, unfazed by his less-than-pleasant welcome. “And it will be ‘me again’ until my cousin asks for a different chaperone.”

“Which I will not,” said cousin adds, grinning at both of them over Eowyn’s shoulder. 

“Chaperone,” Eomer grumbles. Gondorian courting methods are entirely too stuffy for his taste. Eowyn, however, seems not to mind them, as long as she is still able to spend time in her Steward’s presence.

As it is, his little sister is staring daggers at him until he begrudgingly offers the princess his elbow. Her touch is dainty, proper, and barely-there, as if it discomforts her to touch him. They stroll aimlessly around the gardens for a while, a “respectable” distance behind Faramir and Eowyn. Neither of them speak, though he knows silence comes as easily to her as it does to Pippin. 

The sudden press of her fingers at his elbow after they round another corner startles him. She must feel his flinch because she offers him a wry smile, nodding down at a particularly colorful flower. “Do you know what this flower is, my lord?”

“Gardening is not amongst my strong suits,” he admits. “So no, I do not.”

“Hm, let me think,” she says, peering at the flower with apparent interest. She looks and looks and looks–Eomer can feel his irritation mounting. 

He knows very well she is Imrahil’s daughter, Faramir’s favorite cousin, and not a person of little importance to Eowyn, either, who has so few female companions in Gondor, but he cannot stop himself from finally spitting out, “Are you quite finished, my lady?”

She blinks innocently up at him. “Yes, I remembered its name. A peony. It symbolizes a wish for a happy life and a happy marriage.”

“Thrilling,” Eomer answers, unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice. 

The princess remains unfazed, saying, “Isn’t it? Perhaps Eowyn would like–oh, but where have they gone?” 

The garden is empty. Neither Eowyn’s blonde head nor Faramir’s darker one are anywhere in sight.

“Oh, dear,” Lothiriel says in an entirely unconvincing tone, “I suppose they will have to continue on without us.”

He blinks down at her in surprise. “You…planned this?”

“Not all of us Gondorians enjoy stuffy traditions,” she answers with a smile. “And I like Eowyn. She and Faramir have earned their happiness, don’t you agree?”

“Yes,” he murmurs, staring at her as if seeing her for the first time. Surely, she has not always been so lovely? It must be the sun-soaked garden, or the heady smell of the spring flowers, that are making him notice the raven-sheen to her hair, the dark depths of her eyes, the flush of pink in her cheeks. 

Eomer’s hands move of their own accord to pull the nearest flower–the peony–and he tucks it into her hair, just behind her ear, before his common sense has the chance to catch up with him. The pink in her cheeks darkens, but a small smile plays at her lips as well. “You do know you have just wished me a happy life and a happy marriage, do you not?”

“I can think of no thing you deserve more,” is his honest answer.

This time, when her arm comes to rest in his again, there is nothing dainty–or barely-there–about her touch.

80) “Let’s run away together.” (Canon)

As Aunt Ivriniel launches into her third story concerning the local delicacies of Dol Amroth, Lothiriel can see the King of Rohan’s head dip dangerously close to the rim of his soup. Hiding a smile behind her hand, she lays her free one at the top of his wrist.

Just as she suspected, he all but shoots into an upright position, coming out of his daze at a warrior’s pace. 

“It is only me,” she murmurs.

Lothiriel sees, rather than hears, his sigh of relief. “Thank Bema for that.”

“Is my aunt boring you, my lord?”

The spots of color in his cheeks, just visible above his beard, are utterly endearing. “I–I would not say boring–”

“It is alright if you do,” she interrupts, “Amrothos and I have said the same thing for years.” 

She nods to where her youngest brother sits, exhibiting extremely unprincely behavior by picking at his nails with the tiny seafood fork. Eomer snorts, disguising his amusement with a cough as a few people shoot him curious looks. 

Lothiriel considers the recklessness of what she is about to say, but the way that Eomer has failed to shift his hand out from under hers gives her courage where she might have hesitated. “How good are you at escape plans, my lord?”

His eyebrow arches, but he answers readily enough, saying, “I was not made a marshal of the Mark without knowing how to move stealthily, my lady.”

“Good,” she whispers, “for I intend to show you something much more exciting than Dol Amroth’s stew recipes.”

She departs the table first, complaining of a headache. Ada merely waves her off with a sympathetic smile–he loves his sister, truly, but even he knows how long-winded she becomes after two glasses of wine–but Elphir frowns, clearly suspecting some mischief.

Always too wise for his own good, is her oldest brother.

Eomer must manage his own exit graciously enough, for he meets her on the stairs leading down towards the shore in nearly record time. Emboldened by their success, she slips her hand into his, though she could make this climb blind-folded, and he has a warrior’s grace in nearly everything he does. 

Eventually, they reach the shore, coming to stand along the sea-wall she knows so well. “Look up,” she orders, gently.

“Bema,” he says, “I have never seen so many stars.” 

“It is my favorite view in all of Dol Amroth,” Lothiriel admits. 

“Then it is mine as well,” Eomer answers, and something in his tone makes her shiver, despite the warmth of the sea-breeze. 

She can feel him shift, behind her, and then he is behind her in truth, his arms slipping around her to pull her back against the warm, strong breadth of his chest. Lothiriel bites her lip to keep from smiling and threads her fingers through his.

“This is,” Eomer says, his breath hot against the shell of her ear, eliciting another round of shivers, “infinitely preferable to listening to your aunt wax poetic about shellfish.”

Lothiriel could not agree more. 

152) “Stop texting me weird stuff late at night!” (Modern AU)

His phone buzzing at 2:30 in the morning is not the way Eomer would prefer to be woken up. In fact, he’d like to not be woken up at all, seeing as how Derby season was only a few weeks away, and he’d need every second of sleep he could get between now and then to properly function.

Groaning, wondering if it was Eowyn, fretting to him about her impending wedding, or more likely, Theodred, complaining about one horse or another, he lifts his phone.

Blinking at the unfamiliar number, and the even more perplexing text, Eomer can only stare at his phone in confusion. It must be the wrong number, he thinks, and sets his phone back down with a grumble.

A week later, he’s forgotten the text entirely, too caught up in preparing Firefoot for the races to worry about a surely accidental message from a random number. 

But then it happens again: slightly earlier, and on a Saturday night, when he and Aragorn have agreed to meet up for a beer. 

“What the hell,” he says.

Aragorn peeks over his shoulder and snorts at the text. “Interesting topic of discussion, Eomer.”

“I didn’t start this,” he protests. “I don’t even know who’s sending these messages–”

He’s not fast enough to stop his friend from snatching the phone from his hand and reading the other text about the damn penguins. The look on Aragorn’s face after he’s read it is horribly, terrifyingly smug. “I think,” he says, smirking, “someone’s got a crush on you, Eomer Eomundson.” 

Eomer rolls his eyes. “I think some kid has the wrong number.”

“Why don’t you answer and find out?” Aragorn prompts.

But Aragorn and Arwen–his wife of two years come summertime, not that either of them would let anyone forget it–are notorious matchmakers, and Eomer is not a fool.

“No,” he says, tone final.

And he holds to it. At least, he does until he gets another message, three weeks later, after Firefoot makes it through semi-finals. 

Eomer mutters a curse, finally texting back in the hope that the person–prankster, kid, weird veterinarian, whoever–would finally leave him be. 

The response is immediate, and weirdly enough, normal:

For some reason, that’s almost more disarming than the texts themselves.

Belatedly, he realizes this person must know it’s him they’re texting, making him the only one in the dark. Against his better judgment, he finds himself saying:

Eomer hesitates–it could be anyone texting him. A nasty prank from one of his exes, a less-than-tasteful joke headed by Merry and Pippin, or truly a wrong number after all…but he agrees, anyways, blaming the insanity on the stress of the season, of the fact that Eowyn was about to be married and move thousands of miles away, for his lapse in judgement.

The next morning finds him wired off two cups of coffee, anxiously tapping his leg underneath the slightly ramshackle table. He doesn’t recognize anyone–a good sign, and a bad one–and he’s honestly debating leaving when there’s the sudden appearance of a hand at the opposite corner of the table. In said hand is a moderately-sized pebble.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” comes a familiar voice, warm with amusement.

He looks up to find Lothiriel–Faramir’s cousin Lothiriel, who he hasn’t seen since she left two years before to do a stint with some endangered species protection agency–smiling down at him. She’s always been pretty–not that he’d have admitted it before now, because she was Faramir’s cousin and younger than Eowyn to boot–but she looks nothing short of beautiful now, her hair longer than ever, her figure more filled out, a smattering of–frankly–adorable freckles across the bridge of her nose. Abruptly, he’s reminded of that one, ill-timed kiss at her graduation party that they’d both agreed never to discuss again. 

Apparently, they hadn’t been in as much agreement as he’d thought.

He’s strangely happy about that. 

“Well,” he says, reaching out to pluck the pebble from her hand, “I wasn’t about to be outdone by a bunch of animals.” 

Lothiriel’s smile is worth every hour of missed sleep. 

(She doesn’t stop texting him weird things late at night, even when they’re married. 

)

154) “There’s only one bed…” (Modern AU)

Lothiriel isn’t sure if she wants to strangle Pippin or kiss him, for pulling such a stunt. 

“Come to Hobbiton!” Her supposed friend had said. “Merry and I’ll put you up!”

But Pippin had failed to mention that Merry had invited Eomer as well, and that both he and Merry had live-in girlfriends now, the pair of them wouldn’t mind sharing the guest room, would they?

“Besides, we all shared a room for Eowyn and Faramir’s wedding!” 

Well, they had, but it had been a very large room, with eight separate beds for the bridal party, and three other women–Tauriel, a friend of Eowyn’s from roller-derby, Wilfled, Eowyn’s cousin, and Arwen, Aragorn’s obscenely pretty and kind wife–there as well. 

Eomer must be thinking something similar, if the muttered cursing is anything to go by.

“Eomer, it’ll be fine,” she finds herself saying. “We’re both adults, the bed is plenty large. It’ll…it’ll be like a sleepover!”

“We’re not a pair of teenage girls, Lothiriel,” Eomer answers, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Kindly refrain from calling this weekend a ‘sleepover’.”

“Well, fine,” she says, determined not to let him catch on how much the idea of sharing a bed with him–Elbereth, just being in the same room as him–makes her pulse race, makes her thing horrible, dirty things about her best friend’s brother, “I’m taking the right side.”

Dinner manages to be a pleasant affair, despite it all. Diamond–Pippin’s girlfriend–and Estella–Merry’s girlfriend–are exceedingly friendly, and balance out Merry and Pippin’s tendency towards the inane with grace. Eomer relaxes after his third whiskey enough to smile at her when she tells some story about Amrothos embarrassing himself at his latest sailing competition. His smile is as handsome as ever and she’s very, very glad that the wine has already put color into her cheeks. 

This is fine, she thinks, it’ll be fine.

It is not so fine, however, when they manage to stumble their way to the guest bedroom after one last drink. Lothiriel has to nearly hurl herself into her suitcase in her hurry to look away when Eomer carelessly flings his shirt over his head. She shimmies out of her jeans, trying–and failing–not to notice how the noise from his side of the room abruptly stops as she wiggles into the old t-shirt of Erchirion’s she usually sleeps in. She would have brought pants if she’d known she’d be sharing a bed, but as it is, she hadn’t. As if things weren’t awkward enough. 

Lothiriel crawls into bed, trying to ignore the frantic thrum thrum thrum of her heart in her ears. It’s only made worse when Eomer slides in beside her, the heat of him nearly unbearable, even under the thin sheet. 

“The light,” he says, voice strangely hoarse.

She nods, flipping the switch and blanketing the room in darkness. 

It does little to help: she feels hyper-aware of everything. The sound of his breathing. The smell of whatever shampoo he uses. The gentle brush of his hand over her jaw–wait. 

“Eomer?” She asks in a tiny voice.

“Lothiriel,” he says, and Elbereth, she can feel his nose nearly against hers, his breath a hot gust horribly, wonderfully close to her mouth, “tell me if…tell me if this isn’t–”

She laughs, a quiet huff in the stillness of the room. “You are,” she says, reaching out blindly and finding his shoulder, sliding her hand until she finds the back of his neck, “so incredibly thick-headed, Eomer Eomundson.” 

His kiss is exactly what she expected and not: passionate, of course, and achingly, wonderfully good, but infused with so much tenderness that she could nearly cry from it. The press of his mouth and the heat of his hands is made better by the dark, by the way he pulls back to kiss her forehead before trailing a string of kisses along her jaw, down her neck–

Merry glares at both of them, the following morning, bags apparent under his eyes.

Pippin, however, looks positively gleeful. “You’re welcome,” he tells her.

“Oh, eat your food,” she says, half-heartedly, because Eomer’s hand is in hers under the table, and she can’t recall feeling this happy in a very, very long time. 

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 12x15 “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell”

I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. including (but not limited to) smart!Dean, headcanons about demon reproduction, Destiel, children wishing death on an enemy, Sam’s pink eyeshadow, fandom theory, politics, bears, and the pronunciation of Cas’ name

05:15

i’m sort of pre-offended by this because cas wasn’t in the promo

why would you put dean in glasses if cas isn’t there to appreciate it huh???

(that said, davy perez wrote “stuck in the middle (with you)” so he clearly gets it)

-

05:20

this bear video reminds me of that girl screaming at the bear who’s eating her kayak 

“BEEEAAAARRRRR”

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5cMZymSr0)

wow ignore the youtube comments. much salt very negative

i thought the whole thing was hilarious

-

05:24

“will you marry me”

shoot this can only end horribly

-

05:27

“first of all it’s weird you know how much underwear i’ve packed”

this script tho

-

05:27

“inside out”

bruh that’s not gonna fucking help

-

05:28

MISHA COLLINS IN THE CREDITS AT THE BOTTOM MY EXCITEMENT JUST WENT FROM A 5 TO A 10

EEEEEE

-

05:29

can someone tell me why the winchesters are referring to the bmol as hobbits

sam’s got mike down as “frodo”

i guess it’s to do with the accents. idk i always thought of middle earth as a new zealand thing rather than “an actor from britain” thing

-

05:32

sam: “the computer told me”

dean understands the fucking computers okay, don’t give me this “simplify it for lil deanie weenie” shit, you motherfuckers

who built an EMF meter out of an old walkman in season 1, huh

who fixes his car and, i assume, fixes the wiring too, huh

who uses the internet to find porn and probably download a lot illegally and therefore needs to know how computers work, huh

who has evaded law enforcement while using their software to find cases, huh

whO HAD A BEST FRIEND NAMED CHARLIE BRADBURY WHO KNEW HOW COMPUTERS WORKED, HUH

TELL ME SHE DIDN’T TALK ABOUT COMPUTERS AND GEEKY SHIT NON-STOP AND DEAN WAS ABLE TO KEEP UP

HUH

HUH

CASH ME OUSSIDE HOWBOW DAH

seriously i’mma fucking fight you if you say dean doesn’t understand how a computer program could send cases to his phone

-

05:34

sam’s still wearing pink eyeshadow

headcanon: it’s a fasHION CHOICE QUIT JUDGING ME DEAN MEN CAN WEAR MAKEUP IF THEY WANT

-

05:35

i love that dean went straight from “baby wipes in the car” to “i’m using the fancy shampoo”

wow when this asshole decides to delve into self-care he goes all the fucking way

sidenote: then a zoom in on john’s baseball bat, ie. symbol of BRUTAL MASCULINITY which dean left behind to use the fancy shampoo

-

05:38

OH MY GOD IS SAM TALKING TO MARY WHILE DEAN TALKS TO CAS

IDK WHY BUT THAT’S REALLY CUTE

for a second i forgot dean and cas aren’t actually married BUT THEY TOTALLY ARE

-

05:40

I’mma cry cas still puts the fbi badge upside down

oh god i fucking love him so much

i don’t understand why anyone would dislike him

i really, truly don’t

he is the purest more wholesome character and I’M LITERALLY VIBRATING RIGHT NOW I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM

I’VE MISSED HIM

OH GOD IF I’M THIS DELIGHTED TO SEE HIM I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT DEAN FEELS WHEN HE SEES HIM

honestly if i told dean right now how happy i am to see cas, would he roll his eyes, or would he duck his head and smile ?

...option one? probably. option two: that’s jensen about misha

-

05:44

“agent solange”

OKAY THERE IS ONLY ONE OPTION HERE AND THAT IS THAT CAS IS A HUGE APPRECIATOR OF BLACK CULTURE AND MUSIC AND/OR THE KNOWLES FAMILY

I’M SO PROUD OF HIM

-

05:46

see this?

he-heyyyy!! herb nelson who runs this joint

the deadly duo need to fucking pay attention, this is how you get a random side character to be interesting and not just rattle off boring by-the-book introductions

-

05:48

THE QUEEN’S HEAD ON AN ALIEN

I FEEL LIKE THIS ROOM WAS DECORATED TO MAKE MISHA BREAK CHARACTER AND LAUGH

I ALSO SEE “LIZARD PEOPLE” AND ILLUMINATI TRIANGLES

-

05:51

herb: “most sheeple can’t handle the truth”

me at age 12

-

herb: “i’m woke”

i’m ENJOYING THIS SO MUCH

herb: “palm pilot, more like a tracking device”

and this was written before all the stuff about samsung tvs recently. that kind of shit never stops and it’s been going for forever. what is it about people and wanting to spy on other people

i just googled “samsung” and apparently the south korean president was just removed in correlation, one hour ago (disclaimer: i only read the headline, i’ll read the rest later)

oh boy, what a time to be alive (/sarcasm)

(but actually tho. something big happens in south korea and we know about it by typing a single word, that’s cool)

-

05:57

cas just taking things and walking away

imagine him shoplifting in plain sight and security just being like “???”

-

05:58

dean’s undercut seems fresh

i wonder if he shaves the back of his head himself or he goes to a barber every few weeks or if sam does it

-

06:00

“much handsomer brother”

at least we can say that, for all dean’s insecurities, at least he knows he’s hot as shit

(but also that could easily be overcompensation, and he thinks sam is more attractive. oh god what a mess he is)

-

06:02

if i were gwen and two giant dudes came to the door i’d probably ask for them to stick around while i wait for someone else to COME TO MY FUCKING RESCUE

jeez who lets two men into their house just because they have badges and well-balanced faces

-

06:04

yeah you go gwen!!!

don’t need nobody telling you bullshit

-

06:06

this scene of dean saving gwen from the hellhound seems reminiscent of that time he got torn to shreds by hellhounds

the room setup seemed similar at least

i wonder if that makes her a dean parallel character, or if it’s meant to remind the audience of dean’s history with hellhounds

-

06:09

lucifer to crowley: “hm. kinky.”

this show does this amazing thing where it gets as close as fucking possible to being the gayest thing on earth with every character being canonically and violently queer without actually being gay or queer or canon or count as representation at all

i don’t think queerbaiting has ever, ever been done to this level in history

sometimes i wonder what all the heterostraight dudebros (TM) think when they see this kinda stuff

i personally know a giant black dude in his late 30s who watches this show and 100% of ALL of this stuff goes right over his head. he watches for the brothers fighting monsters, and doesn’t understand cas. his wife Gets It and she’s a feminist who Cares About Things, and even though she doesn’t analyse the show, she understands why i ship destiel and feel the need to write novels about their relationship

my only other experience meeting heterostraight dudebros in my life (holy shit how lucky am i) was at a convention a few years back, kim rhodes was up on stage and there were these two sweaty, snotty dicks in front of me, buttcracks showing, booing every time anyone dared to mention female characters or cas or destiel. like i’m p sure they were just there because kim rhodes is hot and has boobs and talked about guns one time (i mean, not that that isn’t a valid reason to watch the show or enjoy it.)

but i found it interesting to see the difference between them (the minority) and the rest of the people in the room (flamboyantly queer mostly-women with hearts full of love for cas)

(on that note, why does cas seem to be the dividing entity between pure wholesome fans and the aggressive hate-speech kind of fans? is there some kind of thing about cas that makes you love him if you have a good heart or something idk)

(although that’s not strictly true because kim rhodes said jody would use cas as a human shield because he’s sorta useless, and kim was still one of the coolest and kindest people i’ve ever met)

-

06:29

i love the thought of fetus gwen wanting a) a hello kitty backpack, or b) the death of an enemy

...........i was joking but typing this immediately makes me think of that time i was like 7 or 8 or 9 years old and took extracurricular maths at a lady’s house after school, and she was nice, and she gave us juice and biscuits. except i hated the fact i had to do EXTRA MATHS so, so SO MUCH that i used to wish she’d drop dead and i wouldn’t have to do it any more.

and then she died of cancer. and her kids (my age) were left motherless and i’ve never really gotten over that

i try and remind myself that death doesn’t work like that but how the fuck /?? why

i really hope i don’t have death note psychic powers

but after that experience i’ve never once wished anything bad on anyone. if i do by accident i immediately un-wish it just in case. come to think of it, i think that experience alone turned me into a more tolerant, empathetic person

rather than wish bad things on bad people, i wish that they learn how to understand the people they’re hurting and work to reconcile their wrongdoings

but dear god i still feel bad

(edit: not that i’m saying my maths tutor was a bad person, i’m talking about like... nazis. punching nazis is still a means to an end though)

-

06:39

quietly wondering if dean ever wanted a hello kitty backpack

OH NO

TINY FETUS DEAN LOOKING AT NICE PRETTY THINGS AND JUST KNOWING HE CAN’T HAVE THEM SO NOT EVEN TRYING TO HOPE

wow it’s way too easy for me to hurt my own feelings

(see also: Raising Hell in a Hotel)

-

06:42

regarding the theft of demon babies

given we’ve never heard about demons breeding (as far as i know), i’ve long held this headcanon/theory that demons (who were originally angels, corrupted by torture) bred by sealing deals. that’s their motivation for making demon deals: they make a deal, they collect a soul at the end of 10 years, take it to hell, make it torture other souls, and eventually a new demon is sired/born. and the new demon is the sire demon’s baby, in a way. they make deals as a form of reproduction.

which doesn’t fit with the idea that demons have actual small crying babies

so... i guess those would be made if two possessed people copulated? but if angel babies are a huge deal in this universe, wouldn’t demon babies be some other bizarre plot twist? or is this demon baby stealing thing meant to be a throwaway line????

someone explain me a thing

-

06:48

OKAY SCRATCH THAT THE BABIES ARE FOR EATING

all right we’re all good

i still think demons breed by making deals

..........but actually though, what happens if two possessed people made a baby (not that i want to know in canon, because consent issues)

also where the fuck are demons getting babies to eat

is there a black market baby eating demon ring

is this a common occurrence

did a dingo eat her baby or was it demon interference

are there legends or competitions about the most daring baby thefts

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

-

06:54

dean either likes posies or koalas

or both

someone please make cute fanart of dean happily cuddling a koala, lying down in a field of pink/bisexual-flag-coloured posies

please

i need it

because of reasons

-

07:00

i like how it’s the white demon who’s grovelling and the black demon’s just chill and talking to lucifer like an equal

that’s cool

-

07:02

dean’s gentle “take care of her”

IT’S OKAY SAM I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT GWEN TOO

sometimes i forget dean’s an asshole who cares more about his car than anything else

-

07:03

i still want that episode, where the impala is either a beautiful badass 45-year-old black woman with tattoos and scars, or a foxy grey-haired dude, either of whom could seduce dean in 0.3 seconds

-

07:06

mmmmmmmmmmmm i loooove how this angel says cas’ name

“kas’tyl”

mmmmmmmmm say it again

i love how everyone always says it differently but it’s always beautiful

(my own name has been pronounced 300 different ways and it always sounds like me somehow, and i’ll still respond. everything from “al-may-oze” to “ee-lumz” to “el muss”. my nickname Elmie is a derivative of Almaas because of mispronunciation followed by an autocorrect error and i love it anyway)

-

07:11

kelvin: “all the paaw’r of heav’n behand you”

dear god i love how this angel talks ;A; i’m swooning

-

07:13

kelvin: “don’t get me wrong, i love earth, it’s quirky. it smells like hay. but it’s not home, is it?”

OOOH BOY MORE CAS CHOOSING HIS HOME ARC

YEAH GIVE ME SOME OF THIS

but please let him choose dean

(or don’t, and watch dean die inside some more. that’d be fun) (/sarcasm)

-

07:19

JOSHUA

FOR YEARS I’VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT HIM

ALL HAIL DAVY PEREZ FOR INCLUDING SO MANY ACTORS/CHARACTERS OF COLOUR

I’M SO RELIEVED SOMEONE ON THE WRITING TEAM HAS THEIR HEAD SCREWED ON RIGHT

-

07:22

cas is so beautiful ;~;

-

07:23

white demon: “only thing i care about is Making Hell Great Again”

i think it’s fair to say that anything akin to those words in that order inspire a fireball of R A G E inside me

-

07:25

fuck

i saw it coming

is anyone making a death toll for characters of colour this season

of all the things i’m enjoying from this episode, the aspect of “as soon as a black dude sees a white dude as an equal and wants something in return for his services to their shared society, he deserves punishment” is not one of them

not cool

i mean the white dude dies too, which turns it into a political “trump fucks with minorities first and the white people are next and somehow they think they’re being blessed” but STILL

i guess the fact there’s other surviving characters of colour this episode makes it less shitty

-

07:28

DEAN IN GLASSES

i’m still salty but AAHHH

-

07:33

eyyyyyyy dean said thanks to crowley for saving cas

good

-

07:33

crowley: “maybe i’ve rubbed off all over you”

aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back to the gay

mm

i hope people never forget that they canonically banged, as problematic that relationship is/was

-

07:35

they. look. so. damn. good. in. glasses.

-

07:36

dean looks like he either belongs in the x files or scooby doo

-

07:38

oooo the carrrrrrrrrrrr

dean’s gonna be pissed

-

07:43

oh shit the music changed very very subtly as lucifer hits crowley’s face

i suddenly get the feeling crowley’s gonna die

he just got his redemption and NOW HE’S GONNA DIE ISN’T HE

I HATED HIM BUT

LIKE

NOW I DON’T WANT HIM TO DIE

-

07:45

oh good

okay

man that was a weird emotion

now i’m back to hating crowley again

i guess it’s fun to hate the baddies

-

07:47

it’s really nice to have a phone call between dean and cas but see both of them

weird how rare that is

-

07:48

DEAN BEING ABLE TO JUDGE CAS’ EMOTIONS THROUGH HIS VOICE AND THEN GETTING WORRIED

-

07:49

sam: “no... it’s.. uh.... mick davies”

oh so THAT’S why gwen told sam her story about lying to her boyfriend. i was thinking it was odd sam was the one hearing that, since dean usually gets an earful of people’s sob stories that Mean Things In His Own Life

so her story made sam tell dean the truth

gwen did so much this episode!!! affecting the season-long plot and saving herself and shit!!! yee

-

07:51

THIS PINK EYESHADOW THOUGH

-

07:56

wow that was a lot of stuff for one episode

good!!!! very good

9.5/10, could be improved by a bechdel test pass

i don’t really have much to add, since i said it all while watching, which is why this took me nearly 3 hours to watch (over 3 hours to finish this post)

but yep. good solid episode, i wish more were like this

so damn good to see cas!!! but the fact he still doesn’t feel like he has a home makes me sad

DEAN AND SAM REALLY NEED TO INCLUDE HIM IN MORE THINGS AND SMOTHER HIM IN HUGS AND GIVE HIM GIFTS AND STUFF

i think it’s because he’s still riding the border between brother and not-brother and doesn’t really know where he stands

poor baby

dean, you gotta cowboy up and tell your angel you love him back already

aaaah

also shoutout to director nina lopez-corrado for that super neat shot of the hellhound, seen through the glasses on the ground

[beckyhiggins]

What might soothe you

My dad spent a week in a hospital bed, his blood count dropping constantly.  When I got to the ward, balancing hot drinks and a snack of dry, crumbling hospital cafe millionaire’s shortbread as a surprise for him, he wouldn’t look at me.  He wasn’t stabilising.  When he was told he was going to be taken into intensive care, he incoherently muttered and half laughed that yeah, yep, this was it.  I sat on the side of the hospital bed unable to breathe as he told me he loved me, and that he knew he hadn’t been a great father, but I knew he loved me, right.  He told my mum he hoped he’d been good, that he loved her, that she was strong.  We told him he wasn’t going anywhere.  

I was at the foot of the bed, crossword puzzle book in my lap as I watched as his hand started to shake.  What a strange thing to be focussed on.  His eyes began to roll back.  Bile rose in my throat as I pushed away the hospital chair and ran to the the nearest doctor, incoherently shouting that my dad was fitting (he wasn’t, it turned out) He pushed me away from the ward and I burst into tears, the kind where you can’t catch air.  My mum came towards me, but when I hugged her I immediately let go, unable to feel the weight or comfort of another person in that moment.  I was dragged by my arms away from the ward as the crash alarm rang, a nurse with matted red hair telling me that I’d dropped my phone, how I didn’t want to break that.  I was given hot, powdered milk to drink for shock.  My only thought was that I’d just watched my father die, and that the next person who spoke to us would tell us that they were sorry, so, so sorry.  They didn’t.  

An old friend of my parents passed him being rushed to the intensive care unit, and she didn’t recognise him at first.  He looked one hundred years old and there was blood everywhere.  In the corner of the ITU where he was taken, the first thing I saw was the bloody handprint on the side of his hospital bed.  My siblings were on trains, buses, planes, oblivious.  I couldn’t tell them anything but this: it’s bad.  

I felt so sad for everyone, for my sister, who hadn’t spoken to him since August, for my brother, away at university, who never said how he felt about anything, for my youngest brother, for the meagre 20 years that he had had and for the entire future that he wouldn’t.  I felt devastated for my mum.  I felt terrified because there would be no coping with this.  And I felt devastated for my dad - for all the things we did and didn’t do, the conversations I never had and every bad thing I had said as a stupid, entitled teenager who thought I was too good for the life that they had given me.  For how hard he had worked, for how shit his childhood had been, for how he was such a good man who had never had things come full circle for him until recently.  For all the things he wanted to do, for all the life in him that was still left to live, for the vast expanse of the future that would exist without him and how wasteful and pointless all of it would be.  

Every second someone you love is in the ITU, especially if admitted through an unexpected emergency, you are so consistently aware of all the ways in which a body can break down, and all the ways in which it needs to be supported.  Why is his blood pressure dropping?  Why is his breathing so fast?  What about his heart rate - is it in that weird rhythm again?  An expected time of ten minutes to turn a patient around turns into 20, then 30. Your mind races the entire time.  Something must be wrong.  This is how we lose him.

It seemed morbidly more familiar to see him with a breathing tube in his mouth and the two round patches either side on his cheeks, his tongue sticking out, his head tilted unnaturally onto his shoulder, his body slumped still and his eyes closed.  Every day, I was adamant that this was the only way I would ever see him again, until the inevitable happened.  How sad that would be, how unreal but obtusely underwhelming it would feel, and how quickly my brain, numbed to the honesty of such a thought at the time, didn’t question it.  

I’d go outside with my brother to have a drag on his cigarette by the A&E department, and we’d roll our eyes and bitch about the women in dressing gowns with nasogastric tubes, dragging on butts and sitting in wheelchairs, and say, “Well, why not them?  Why not anyone else”.  I’d get so irrationally angry, I’d stomp around outside, filled to the brim with wired anxious energy, repeating over and over, “If anything happens to him, if they can’t help him, I’ll be so, so angry”.  What an underwhelming statement.  

The visitor’s room was oppressive and hollow at the same time.  The inoffensive brown leather chairs, the glass brick wall separating one half from the other in an attempt at some kind of privacy, the blue triptych of nondescript paintings on the wall that were, for some reason or another, bolted up.  Me and my brother would have vapid conversations about these later, during one of the many long afternoons spent slouching on the couches, pretending to concentrate on playing card rummy.  “Why would they need to even do that?”, my brother had snorted, rolling a cigarette and looking up at the paintings as he stretched out on his back underneath them.  “As if anyone here is bothered, what are they going to do?  Just pop a painting under their arm and be like, I feel like shit but I’m havin’ this”.  The blues of the paintings were flat and distant, and all I could think was, someone, please, lose me in it, because what’s the point anymore, in waiting, in crying, in pretending that things will ever get any better than they were on that first Friday morning, when there was hope.  When, against all the static fears in my body, he’d made it through the night, and that was enough.

People offer help when they know there is nothing really they can do.  It is appreciated and it is infuriating.  I never want anyone to ask me if I’m eating or sleeping again, ever.  

There is life after critical care, and then there is everything else.  There is no neutral in between where you adjust in a healthy way.  This causes the ‘rollercoaster effect’ to come into full swing, regardless of whether you are fully aware of it or not.  I wasn’t.  I pushed everything back and then pulled it all to the surface and cried, and felt guilty when I felt normal, and felt even guiltier when I felt able to do things that my pre-existing anxiety usually would have halted.  During the ITU visits, I got up early every day and I got showered and dressed, I walked my dog and I researched my dad’s illness and I went to the hospital and sat in that room, and I waited.  I was coping.  I wasn’t overrun with an inconsolable grief where I couldn’t function to even get myself out of bed.  That meant I was ok.  I was stronger than I thought before.  I was the backbone.  I was hurting, sure, but I was focussed and I was capable of holding my own, against the doctors, against the list of pessimistic outcomes, against myself.  I was coping, until I wasn’t.

If you are lucky, like we were, and if your loved one made it through, then the ITU leaves you irrationally grieving for someone who isn’t gone.  The brain assesses a situation, and starts to plan accordingly.  That’s a hard thing to bring it back from.  There is a limbo after critical care that exists - a perennial grey area of unease.  I spent a month accepting the only truth that I thought I could, that this was it, that after 28 years, this was how it would end.  It was the most honest, raw and real thing I have ever had happen to me.  The only rational response that the already unstable brain would have to that is to shut down.  It ruined my life, and it saved my life, and it has irreversibly changed me as a person, for better or worse.

You make it through these things on the only terms that you can.

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2017:

Code: dancing out the entire wedding reception playlist with my best girl on an empty concrete slab on a breezy texas night

BC: -The absolute stellar dance party at Codemin’s Wedding; most notably:

     “Carol” by The Rolling Stones

     “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode

     “Crystal” by New Order

-OK Computer’s 20th Anniversary and the listening/reflection that came with it -My four year old, Emmett, learning “Maps” on the drums pretty much on his own

JD: February: Watching the “Emotional Rescue” scene in A Bigger Splash:

March: Seeing Stop Making Sense on the big screen at my favorite theater with m’gal and a David Byrne Q&A after the screening. April: The dance party of a lifetime at Code and Arden’s wedding. November: Watching Parquet Courts play “You’ve Got Me Wondering Now” for the first time in years.

C: "Born to Run" at a good friend's, Brian Ferguson's, wedding.

Nasty: This playing at the end of Leftovers Season 3, Ep 5 - "The Most Powerful Man in the World"

Bronco: Sitting on my back porch with Brenny, sipping down some delicious whiskey drinks and listening to the new Mastodon on a surprisingly unshitty Amazon bluetooth speaker. Watching his face on the breakdown in Jaguar God was quite entertaining. Also listening to the Squalus album (the metal interpretation of Jaws) with the kids, my oldest asking what it was, and him saying he wants to watch Jaws now. He was especially fascinated by the USS Indianapolis part of the story.

Laser: This 

Chap: My 17 has been dominated by the two new ladies in my life. I made this mix for them:

and played it for them on random the morning they were born. This was the first song that came on:

and I finally broke down with emotion after the 36 hour experience while holding one of them while this song was playing:

Best Shows Seen in 2017:

BC: This first 60 seconds of this:

Nasty: Future Islands & Action Bronson

Larse: Future Islands with Maddie, Nasty, and Sam; Action Bronson at The Rave - pretty sure I got a contact high just from being in the show

C: War on Drugs

Bronco: Mastodon

Codem: lvl up - beat kitchen kitten forever - subterranean downstairs ovlov - beat kitchen pqc - the bottle girlpool - logan square auditorium moving units’ joy division cover set - the bottle PAWS - cobra lounge a. savage - the bottle pictureplane

JD: 1. William Basinski and Julianna Barwick at National Sawdust 2. No Age at Elsewhere 3. Parquet Courts and B-Boys at Elsewhere 4. Liars at Warsaw 5. Deerhunter and Eleanor Friedberger performing while Bradford Cox painted her portrait onstage at Warsaw 6. LCD Soundsystem at Brooklyn Steel 7. Yo La Tengo in Central Park 8. Andrew WK at Warsaw 9. Vince Staples at Panorama Fest 10. Wire at Baby’s All Right 11. Vagabon at Brooklyn Bazaar

Confession of 2017:

Bronco: I listened to the New Kids On The Block offering of 2017 "Thankful" (it was fucking terrible).

C: Still haven’t listened to LCD Soundsystem

Code: -knowing the backstory, the mount eerie album was probably the best album i heard this year, but it was too dang sad to listen to more than a handful of times. -i still loved that brand new song despite the lead cat being a creep. -i thought that this year was pretty rough for music, but my tune changed after looking back through my top tracks.  maybe there were just so few full albums that i liked? -i fast fwd'd through every SNL musical guest this calendar year, but i did catch the tom petty tribute from the vegas countrymin. 

BC: I don’t hate that objectively awful Chainsmokers/Coldplay song because it reminds me of this year’s BOB since Creevey played it every twenty minutes for 36 holes.

Larson: Listened to more rap this year than I think I have in past years; must be Nasty's Lincoln influence!

Nasty: I listened to more podcasts than music in 17.

Biggest Disappointment of 2017:

Laser: LCD Soundsystem

Codem: -no chromatics this year. -the two lcd shows that i saw this year.

Chap: The albums. I would not be shocked if I didn't listen to any of my top 15 all the way through after today.

Bin: DJT

JD: Mondanile

BC: Real Estate.  I think they need to invite the perv back into the band.

Bronco: Bison, Monolord, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, And So I Watch You From Afar. They all put out albums this year, and I've like their stuff in the past, but they did little to nothing for me this time around.

Most Overrated of 2017:

Codem: slowdive, but also twod and japanese breakfast

Bin: Bodak Yellow / Cardi B

Larse: LCD Soundsystem

Bronco: -Pallbearer - just don't like the guy's voice, and though they're slow as shit, there's no good riffs or anything to connect with for me. -Code Orange - hardcore band that I just don't get. One of those 'motherfucker I'm the best!' type super close to being alt-right supremecy type bands even though they're probably completely against it. They're at the top of most metal lists this year. I've given them 4-5 spins, most in reaction to the praise they're getting, but I just don't get it. -Royal Thunder - just one big case of blue balls. All of their songs seemingly build toward a climax that never happens. It's just so blech.

JD: Did the music press even treat anything as a lasting work of art and not ephemeral content to get through a week or two of famous personality driven clicks? King Krule? 

BC: Lorde, I think?  I mean, that album’s gotten a lot of love this year and I thought the lead single – “Green Light” – was hot garbage. It spawned a conspiracy theory in my mind that Taylor Swift was proactively influencing and then purposefully sabotaging the work of her close friends (see Lorde, Haim, et al).

Make it Stop 2017

Bronco: Sex monsters. Can we just take all white dudes in powerful positions, assume they've sexually assaulted at least one person, imprison them, and move on? We could take everything they have, give it all to Native American tribes, then force them to walk their own trail of tears to live out their lives in the desserts of New Mexico, and force them to build the wall, but it would just be a wall around their sad sex monster reservation.

Also, Taylor Swift.

Nasty: I didn't have the luxury of expending any real hate on music this year... which I'm just now recognizing as a bad thing.

JD: -Unceasing sadness and anxiety about the present and future. -Jack Antonoff

BC: Life on this planet.

Code: any rap station that i hear in an uber. that cardi b song was playing every time i caught a cab at 5:30 a.m. to play golf.

Larson: U2

Biggest TBH Regret of 2017:

BC: Not seeing NIN at RiotFest

Larson: Skipping the Car Seat Headrest show at Summerfest because I could tell Maddie didn't want to leave Jonas' party (party was fun, so not a real loss, just wish I would have seen the show).

Nasty: Not even giving new artists a chance. I'll listen to an average album from The National 10x's before I give someone new a shot.

Codebreaker: not having an opportunity to karaoke badu's tyrone

JD: -Had the worst fever of my life during LCD and could only manage standing in the back shivering. -Forgetting to go see Dinner at Baby’s All Right. -Not enough time with Bjork, Miguel, and Blanck Mass. 

Bronco: Fucked up the family calendar maintenance and ended up not being able to see the Toadies and Local H. I was pissed at my wife, but it wasn't the end of the world. I haven't listened to either in forever, and the listen I gave to the Toadies latest offering didn't knock my socks off. It was really just for nostalgic purposes. Still it sucked to have to miss it despite my best efforts to bring it to her attention multiple times.

Detective Murtaugh of 2017:

NACK: I had two separate opportunities to see LCD, and just didn't feel like putting in the effort. Was going to put this as a regret, but I don't regret it.

Code: i skipped 7 shows that i had tickets for and left 6 shows early. two shows i left early due to brightness of lights.  mmmmmnhh

JD: Couldn’t hear for 18 hours after No Age. Needed two Tylenol for the headache I gave myself during “You’ve Got Me Wondering Now” at PQ Quartz.

BC: Having no idea who either the SNL host or the musical guest was for three straight weeks.  Tiffany Haddish? Saoirse Ronan? SZA? I’m too old for this shit…

Nasty: Carson, Maddie, Sam and I went to watch the IU game this weekend with one of Carson's co-workers (an IU grad) who is 23.... I got rolling on a rant about how important it is to enjoy your 20s because after the impending onslaught of weddings and babies life basically isn't any fun anymore. Suspect it was a little too impassioned by the end.

Bronco: I was enrolled in a three month coding bootcamp to learn Web Development. Aside from the two older ladies (50+) and the weird Brazilian idiot (45+), I was the oldest person in the room by probably an average of 13 years. They are all for the most part life-pivoting in to the dev world and they all have all the time in the world to learn new shit, do whatever they want, whenever they want...goddamnit I miss that. So maybe this is my "too married and fathered for this shit" section of the exam.

C: Wife’s Pregnancy

Laser: Every time I wake up with a fucking hangover and tell myself that I’m not gonna drink like that again only to get back on the saddle the next available opportunity.

Resolution for 2017 Update:

BC: Put a goddamn band together. How it went: 

C: Check out some jazz/blues in Chicago. How it went: FAILED

Larson:  Focus on the shit I really care about instead of trying to listen to everything posted on the thread…I’m just going to have to be honest with myself and realize I ain’t got time for all this media! How it went: Terrible; found myself listening to Timeless Pop Rock hits playlist more than anything else.

Chap: Check out more of the recommendations on the TBH thread. Try to organize get-togethers around TWO shows. How it went: Actually not bad. I had a few solid period during nap times when I didn't feel like working. I think I was able to listen to every album I wanted to at least once.

Code: make concerted effort to listen to music that i liked in previous years in addition to music from the current year. How it went: i nailed my resolution, as i devoted four full months to the grateful dead and it was the best musical trimester of the year for me. it was really interesting to watch all of the new music pile up and never once feeling compelled to listen to something else. god damn did the '77 version of the band have it all figured out. i could listen to any uptown mississippi halfstep toodeloo from that year at any time.

Bronco: Learn the guitar. I’ve been fooling around with Rocksmith (guitar hero with real guitar) and I want to push myself to execute the more complex chords, not just stick to the powerchord simple songs like Blitzkrieg Bop, and start learning how to build and execute a solo. I also want to distill my own whiskey, build a garden shed from scratch, and learn to code. How it went: I haven't quite mastered the guitar, but I can play a few songs fairly well. I did not start working on my own whiskey or build a garden shed from scratch...yet. But I did learn to code. I am now at conversational levels of fluency with Javascript and at "donde es el bano" levels with Ruby and Python.

Nasty: See a show in NY with JD. How it went: Not great, Bob! I barely made it down the street to see Action Bronson with Laser 

JD: Seeing more shows with you guys is an evergreen resolution. How it went: To quote BC,

Resolution for 2018:

BC: No more resolutions

C: Catch some jazz in Chicago

Laser: get my list in on time!

Chap: While I didn't have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot.

Codem: make more playlists for my wife

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since...Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year's and I'm gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I'll try to listen to new material each time.

Bin: I'm just going to keep saying "get to NY for a show with JD" until I make it happen. 

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached. 

Most Anticipated of 2018:

C: MBV

JD: MBV, No Age, Panda Bear, something surprising

Code: chromatics (i think it's really coming this year), mbv, no age, DOM, CCFX full album

Bronco: Tool. Fourth year's the charm...fuck those guys. It better suck me off when it finally does come out. Also a new Sleep album and a new High on Fire album...still waitin' on those too.

BC: Simple Minds, Vampire Weekend, Kanye

Nasty: Kanye, ASAP Rocky, Rhye, Chromeo, Vampire Weekend

Chap: After a quick glance at the list... Vampire Weekend, Kanye, Chromatics

Larse: Honestly don't even know what is on the horizon, just hope I can listen to it with this net neutrality bullshit!

[gulescamisade]

Mega Texas:  Day 1

[ Dirk, Nepeta, Sollux, Tavros, Equius, Aradia, Signless, Summoner, Tyrena and Disciple all find themselves blipping suddenly onto the hot, scorching ground. Snapping back to reality and here comes gravity. They find themselves closely scattered in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The cars are here, aren’t they always, only some of these are broken into, which is another common thing. Beside them there is a judgemental moo from cows watching as these weirdos appeared from nowhere and decided to take a nap on the asphalt. Their hair still static-y from the trip, touching one of the abandoned carts seems like a bad idea man. Real bad. ]

DIRK: -DOOF. he lands on his ass.- ... What the fuck?

DIRK: -looks around. wal-mart... fucked up cars...-

DIRK: -a weird looking horse?-

DIRK: -could he be in the fabled land of his birth?-

NEPETA: =TAIL FRIZZES AND HISSES=

EQUIUS: -How dare you. He is in perfect condition. This Wal-Mart, however, is not. Equius stands with a groan.-

NEPETA: =THE CLAWS ARE OUT=

DIRK: -nah, that's a ridiculous conclusion to jump to...-

TYRENA: -drags herself up from the floor-

DIRK: -gets up, surveying the group and takes a head count.- Everyone okay?

TYRENA: -a little bit of a hISS as she does-

TYRENA: 0NLY SUPERF1C1ALLY >:)

TYRENA: -STALKS AND HOBBLES a few steps, bare feet on the hot ground.- TYRENA: BLEH

SIGNLESS: -Ahh, nothing like suddenly APPEARING SOMEWHERE ELSE. First thing to register when his feet hit the ground is that its very hot, but heat he can handle, what he cant handle is trying to guess what just happened.-

SIGNLESS: Would someone.... kindly fill me in on what has just happened. -Squints as he looks around at all the cars and cows.-

EQUIUS: -He's sweating abhorrently, and the heat is making him a little...sluggish-

TYRENA: 1 PR0M1SE NO K1NDNESS

TYRENA: 1T WAS A TRAP

SOLLUX: -just laying face down on the ground.-

ARADIA: -she had a soft landing...but sollux...he needed to fall flat on his face. it was important. so she just waits for him to get up.-

NEPETA: =Scampers around anxiously, scampers over Sollux. Sits on him and kneads=

NEPETA: =With claws=

NEPETA: =Hello=

SOLLUX: 0w.

SOLLUX: guess i'm still alive. c00l.

SOLLUX: -muffled into pavement-

DIRK: ... -hoists him-

DIRK: We're missing most of the crew.

DIRK: -pats himself down... his comm device is still on him. hmm.-

NEPETA: =Doofs off Sollux as he's lift and scampers again before climbing Equius=

SOLLUX: -is hoist- l00ks like nepeta is 0kay.

TYRENA: YES

TYRENA: THEY ARE M1SS1NG YOU, EQUALLY, 1'M SURE

SOLLUX: every0ne stand still and wait f0r me t0 st0p tasting c0ncrete s0 i can figure 0ut wh0's here.

DIRK: I'm gonna try to get ahold of everyone else. Hold up.

ARADIA: im here

SOLLUX: 0h hey AA.

EQUIUS: D --> Are you...okay, Nepeta? Aradia as well. Everyone else

NEPETA: :33 <sure this is grrrrrrrrreat blargh but im fine just furreaked out :'((

ARADIA: hi sollux

ARADIA: hi equius

ARADIA: theres nothing to be freaked out about :D

NEPETA: :33 < this is dumb >:'((

EQUIUS: D --> Stop being weirder than usual, Aradia. I concur with Nepeta

ARADIA: youre weirder than usual

ARADIA: oh wait

ARADIA: thats all the time

EQUIUS: D --> Now is not the time to wa% pitchy. Something severe has happened

ARADIA: its moderate

DIRK: -gets this random urge to kick hal's ass-

TYRENA: 1 APPRECIATE Y0UR UTTER 1ND1FFERENCE AND F1ND 1T REFRESH1NG

TYRENA: H0WEVER, 1T D0ES REVEAL A F0REKN0WLEDGE 0F TH1NGS

TYRENA: SP1LL, P1X1E, 1 KN0W H0W TH1S GAME W0RKS

TYRENA: 1'VE BEEN AT 1T F0R M0ST 0F MY L1FE

DIRK: -blurts out, holding up his comm- Hey. We're in Texas.

TYRENA: 0H

TYRENA: WHAT'S A TEXAS

ARADIA: -she smiles at tyrena- ive been through every way this could possibly go

ARADIA: i know what we have to do to get to our best end result

ARADIA: but in every circumstance that i choose to tell you what to do next

ARADIA: it all ends horrifically

TYRENA: HA

TYRENA: 1F Y0U 1NS1ST

TYRENA: 1 AM N0 HYP0CR1TE, AT LEAST

SOLLUX: welc0me t0 hell.

ARADIA: welcome to hell

SOLLUX: yeah.

DIRK: -looks a little distressed-

DIRK: ... Alright, everybody.

DIRK: I've gathered that the crew's been split up into groups, presumably all around the US. We're going to try to meet up in Minnesota.

DIRK: The kids are still on the ship, but Porrim is looking after them. Think she's got the bots helping her too.

TYRENA: HM

TYRENA: 1 SUPP0SE 1T 1S A PLAN, 1F N0TH1NG ELSE

DIRK: Sollux, come with me. We're gonna try to hot wire some of these cars. -drags him, but also because he wants to talk to him-

ARADIA: -smiles as they go-

SOLLUX: hhff. -is DRAG.- h0w fucking 0ld is this techn0l0gy even g0ing t0 be, this is g0nna suck.

DIRK: We weren't transported back in time, asshole. I'm sure it's fine. -he assumes-

DIRK: ... -quiet for a second after he jimmies a door open- I don't know where Jake and Roxy are.

SOLLUX: -no human technology suuuuucks. whine whine. but also quiets himself after that.- SOLLUX: ... 0kay. uhh.

SOLLUX: fuck.

DIRK: I'm trying not to freak out. Not while I still gotta give everyone direction. -leeeans into the driver's seat and starts fucking around with the car.-

NEPETA: :33 < its purrretty hard to not freak out :((

NEPETA: =crawls in the car and starts to scratch the seat immediately= :33 < where can we even go in texass?

TYRENA: AWAY FR0M TEXAS

DIRK: -SUDDENLY A CAT- ... Yeah, that's the plan, actually.

DIRK: Probably best we lay low too. As much as I'd love to sight see.

SOLLUX: jegus nepeta.

NEPETA: :33 < i can help scout...... =mnng, jumps out and starts to prowl around........= and also get dinner =STARES at cows=

NEPETA: =MEAT=

DIRK: Don't you dare kill that horse.

NEPETA: =tilts head and snorts=

NEPETA: :33 < thats a silly looking horse!!

EQUIUS: D --> It's an udderbeast. A, oh fizzlewinks, what do humans call it again? Oh yes, a cow -And Nepeta better leave it alone-

DIRK: He's just a lil chunky.

ARADIA: -joins the rest of them-

NEPETA: :33 < a chunky hunk of FOOD

EQUIUS: D --> Cease

NEPETA: :33 < im trying to feed the pack :30

SOLLUX: can s0me0ne take a chunky hunk 0f shut the fuck up while i'm trying to blindly help h0twire this scuttlebuggy?

SOLLUX: in case y0u f0rg0t the tech guy was blind.

NEPETA: =leans next to Sollux=

NEPETA: :33 < (is the shut fuck tender and juicy.... like steak?) =mrps softly= i pawlieve in you!

SOLLUX: ggghhhhh.

ARADIA: im assuming youre pretty talented with your scents to know whawt youre doing by now

EQUIUS: -Plucks Nepeta up. Let him work-

SOLLUX: -mocking her- i'm assuming y0u're pretty talented with y0ur dick by n0w t0 blah blah blah my ass.

SOLLUX: -sparks fly as he touches two wires together- 0W FUCK.

ARADIA: i mean yes

ARADIA: i was waiting for that

SOLLUX: Y0U WERE WAITING F0R MY ASS?

ARADIA: for you to get shocked

ARADIA: after saying that

SOLLUX: AA can y0u st0p being super fucking creepy f0r tw0 sec0nds and try being slightly m0re s0cially acceptable? like ask if i'm 0kay 0r s0mething???

ARADIA: are you ok

ARADIA: you are

ARADIA: i can answer that

DIRK: -he's just watching this happen tbh-

SOLLUX: i'm-- g0d damn it.

SOLLUX: -throws hands up-

ARADIA: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SOLLUX: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ARADIA: :D

DIRK: -and with that, he manages to get it to start running- Nice.

DIRK: This wouldn't be possible without the sacrifices you made, babe. I'm so proud of you.

TYRENA: -climbs onto the roof of the car.-

SOLLUX: y0u're WELC0ME, every0ne!

SOLLUX: what the fuck is that.

ARADIA: tyrena

SOLLUX: figures.

DIRK: Important question... Who all knows how to drive a car?

NEPEPTA: :33 < i do!

DIRK: Cool. We're gonna need a few people cuz we ain't all fittin' in one.

DIRK: -moves onto another car to get that one running.-

TYRENA: 1 CAN DR1VE

SOLLUX: Y0U'RE BLIND.

SOLLUX: HA HA.

TYRENA: YES, Y0U ARE

SOLLUX: yeah.

SOLLUX: -SIGHS.-

SOLLUX: -he's more agitated because he misses Terezi already.-

EQUIUS: D --> I can navigate one of these rudimentary vehicles well enough

SOLLUX: kn0wing y0u, y0u'll break the wheel 0r kick a h0le in the fl00rb0ard bef0re y0u get this thing past the ugly h0rse.

DIRK: -keeps an eye on those two... no strangling this time.-

EQUIUS: D --> I could just as easily put a hole in you -This heat is doing wonders for his anger-

NEPETA: =puts her foot on Equius' cheek=

DIRK: Don't make me come over there.

ARADIA: -pats equius's arm- but you wont

SOLLUX: i dunn0 aa i think we have time t0 find 0ut.

DIRK: For fuck's sake, my dude.

SOLLUX: let's just be real ab0ut 0ur handicaps here. i'm blind and he's freakishly hulking.

EQUIUS: -There's a neck vein or three bulging-

ARADIA: hes big

NEPETA: =Puts her foot on the neck veins, mrps=

NEPETA: :33 < if i cant eat the weird horse ill eat mew both fur survival!

SOLLUX: at least i'll be put t0 g00d use.

NEPETA: :33 < purr bones would make a nice broth

ARADIA: -whacks sollux's arm-

EQUIUS: D --> As what? A post dinner tooth picking tool

NEPETA: :33 < no equihiss purr the picking tool fur my teeth! >:00

EQUIUS: D --> You've already e%pended your use, Captor

NEPETA: :33 < BLARRRRRGGHH =ascends the horse and gets on his shoulders, hand over the mouth= shush

DIRK: -okay, he's coming back over.-

SOLLUX: 0W.

SOLLUX: what was that f0r???

[In the not so far distance, a shitty jpeg skateboard gently floats to the ground]

ARADIA: you hit your daily verbal self deprecation limit a long time ago

DIRK: Are we really doing this right now? Because I'm not in the fucking mood to br-- .....................

DIRK: -stares at the skateboard-

SOLLUX: excuse me?? that d0esn't exist.

SOLLUX: .... br.

ARADIA: -just smiles at the skateboard. HAHAHA it's kind of funny this time around-

DIRK: ... -picks up the skateboard-

SOLLUX: br???

SOLLUX: dirk???

DIRK: Bruh.

SOLLUX: 0h 0kay.

[It's just...So shitty. It's UNREAL, how poor the quality of this thing is. It feels like it's going to break apart in his hands. There's no way anyone actually ever rode this thing]

DIRK: ... -captchalogues this-

DIRK: Anyway, I got the other car running so let's split up.

SOLLUX: sure thing gang.

DIRK: Watch me swooce right in. -pushes sollux into the passenger's seat so he can get into the driver's seat.-

SOLLUX: hrrf. -scrunches up his little stick noodle body-

EQUIUS: -Grumbles off to the other with Nep-

NEPETA: =Pats his sweaty face, softly shushing=

DIRK: -BYE BITCH. just kidding. he likes equius but he can't abide anybody flexing threateningly at his husband. sorry bro.-

ARADIA: -she'll stay in here. for reasons. BYE EQUIUS KISS KISS LOVE YA BYE BYE-

EQUIUS: -He'll break everything-

DIRK: -leads the way further north with his gps guiding them. it's gonna be a long night.-