#it gets easier right?

[newttxt]

crisis of disbelief

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[heartorbit]

heartbeat

[humming-fly]

It's dark Arthur, pull out your lighter.

(practically I know john is most easily portrayed as a normal hooded guy with a mask but deep down my heart of hearts still belongs to mergo's wet nurse)

[puppyeared]

updated Sleight ref!!

[fictionadventurer]

Maybe the problem with Christian fiction is that it's non-denominational. People are just "Christian", with no effort put into showing what practicing that religion looks like for them specifically. No indication that there are other Christians who could have different beliefs. No wrestling with differing ideas and the struggle of how one should live out their Christian faith. And that makes it unrealistic and unrelatable.

[despazito]

painting for me mum

[polterquest]

pose ref: return to sender by tommy kha

[cockworkangels]

max <3333

[subsequentibis]

i'm going to throw up from laughing at this

[inkly-heart]

Do you have a group discord server? If others want to chill and interact with you. Just wondering

That aside just hoping you’re doing okay Blastic. Still, if you’re not your gotta a lot people care about you.

I look forward to seeing how the rest of the game goofs.

—goofball anon

I don't and sadly I don't think I will make one. It would be fun to interact with people who enjoys my work and wants to chat with me but I just feel it would be too much work for me to handle a discord server. So at least for now I'm not planning to make one.

[omaano]

I wish I had pushed the angle on this one a little more to match what I'd imagined for this scene from the end of chapter 14 of Mand'alor Cabur by @nautilicious but at this point stubborness has kicked in and I've dug in my heals so this is what I'm working with! In other news I've picked my birthday project for this year, and in my post-vacation optimism I see a chance to get this at least to a lines-and-flats (and maybe even some lighting???) stage by the end of next week, which would be very great for me! That is if the green background doesn't completely sabotage me in the process...

[luckycharms1701]

HI, HELLO!!

I see your requests are open and— I’m begging on my knees here— please, just a Raph story!! A crumb!!! Anything 😭 🥺

-🌱

shhhhh anon-chan, you don’t need to beg, i am here to provide! hello! i already had a little something for our big boy planned, hope you enjoy!

❤️ He wakes up slowly.

It's both a blessing and a curse. As all things, in his experience, tend to be. He's survived one day, but now he needs to live through another. And so his existence marches on.

Raph groans a bit and rubs a hand on his face. He really needs to learn how to be a morning person like Leo and Mikey, maybe then he wouldn't wake up so... weird.

He goes to roll over and out of bed, resigned to his fate. Something soft against his side stops him. He pauses, and a chastened smile pulls at his lips. How could he forget the one blessing that didn't come with a curse?

Your hand slides across his plastron as you snuggle further into him. You are laying along his side, one leg thrown over his thigh and your head pillowed on his bicep. He carefully shifts so that he is facing you.

His eyes trail over your features, and just like every time he sees you in his bed, he can't stop the silly grin from spreading across his face. He gently grabs the hand that lays on top of him and holds it.

He still doesn't quite believe that this is his, that he's allowed you, but he's starting to.

The churr catches him by surprise. It really shouldn't at this point, he muses as his smile softens into fondness. He always seems to be churring around you. He is always happy around you.

You shift and mumble slightly, and he holds himself carefully still. He really doesn't want to wake you, you deserve as much rest as possible. You settle a little bit closer to him with a smile, and his heart swells as his breath catches.

His churr continues as he contemplates you. Your kindness, your humor, your honestly breathtaking bravery. He will be trying for the rest of his life to deserve what you give him.

It doesn't seem like such a bad thing, now, his life. Even in your sleep you make everything brighter for him. His gratitude overwhelms him, and he squeezes your hand.

Your nose crinkles in protest, and you turn slightly to bury yourself in his plastron as you wake. He chuckles. "Sorry sweetheart," he rumbles, "didn't mean to wake ya."

You bury yourself deeper in him as you weave your fingers together. He feels a kiss pressed over his heart, and he curls around you, unable to express himself except through the slide of his skin against yours.

He follows you back into his dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic

[rebouks]

Matilda: It’s been a while… Tristen: Yeah, it feels like forever-.. uh, what brings you here? Matilda: We’re taking a forced vacation. I’m sure you can figure out who did the forcing. Tristen: Ah… Matilda: Yeah. Tristen: I kinda figured you were mad at me. Matilda: Little bit. Tristen: I should’ve said goodbye or written sooner, I guess. Matilda: Little bit-.. but you were sorting your shit out, right? I get it.

[Tristen smiled contritely, avoiding Matilda’s gaze-.. out of sheer embarrassment or a severe lack of brain functionality, he wasn’t sure]

Tristen: Is that Pixie? Matilda: Yeah-.. bit bigger now, huh? Tristen: Aha, little bit. Matilda: Anyway, you’re clearly working, so… Tristen: Shit, yeah-.. I’ve got another job to get to after this but uh, you gonna be around tomorrow? Matilda: Yeah, we pretty much just got here. Tristen: Okay, uh.. meet me outside the pharmacy at ten? There’s only one in town n’ it’s on like every map-.. I don’t have my phone with me, so…

Matilda: Yeah, sure. Tristen: Okay-.. uh, yeah.. okay! Matilda: Bye, Triss. Tristen: Bye-.. see you tomorrow? Matilda: Yep. Tristen: Ten o’clock? Matilda: Uh-huh. Tristen: Okay.

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[buwheal]

Dearest Spamton,

If you're in the dumpster, where is the computer plugged in?

Best wishes,

- Goon