#it felt like a haze
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holy shit its the last day of 2023
wha t
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hazardous material ☣️🫀🐭
#My Characters#Haze#ask to tag#gore#body horror#eyestrain#?#also should clarify i am okay!! this isnt anything super serious#a tiny bit initially started vent-like but then felt better!! and was then just playing around & wanted to finish it ^_^
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#lizzy grant#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#diet mountain dew#born to die#heart shaped sunglasses#honeymoon lana del rey#shades of cool#coquette#vintage americana#americana#lana del rey#evie zamora#queen of the gas station#thirteen movie#bella hadid#gigi hadid#dolores haze#lana unreleased#he hit me and it felt like a kiss#florida kilos#trailer park princess#trailer park darling#ultraviolence#femme fatale#divine feminine#sadgirl#dollette aesthetic#western#lana del rey aesthetic#girl interrupted
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this is me :3
my name is dolly and i’m 19 !
i looove asks ! but please be respectful. thank u :)
selfies are under #me 🐾
warning for gory stuff and sexual stuff
difficult topics // triggering pics etc
#me#bikinigoldbaby#girlblogger#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#dolores haze#hyper feminine#girl interrupted syndrome#ultraviolence#female hysteria#may jailer#female manipulator#lizzy grant#lizzy grant aka lana del rey#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#girl blogger#girlblog#girl blog#girl interrupted#heroin chic#lana del rey#this is what makes us girls#manic pixie dream girl#heart shaped sunglasses#female madness#female rage#female experience#female insanity#he hit me and it felt like a kiss
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thinking about how taylor said "who would you be sad with?" sounds like love to her
#the lavender haze / clm / renegade / ylm of it all#like of course she felt she owed it to joe to fight in his army for so long - she felt her sadness would be forever and he stuck by her#hoax#lpss#renegade
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i contain multitudes and can say that i am a little :( about vex and percy being teammates with benefits because i think there’s something particularly heartbreaking about the dynamic that was neither of them ever said a thing even though they both were aware of it and it took losing percy for vex to finally admit it and Even Then, she couldn’t say it to percy’s face when they got him back, percy was the one who had to make the first move (that they were both alive for at least) and he was only able to do that because he’d heard her confession, because he never would’ve thought otherwise. to be clear, i also very much enjoy the story being told, i think i just wish they’d maybe committed more significantly to This Is A Campaign-Inspired Story Rather Than A Retelling sooner in the show so that maybe there would be a bit more grounding or set-up for the storylines the narrative is focusing on (and i understand why they wouldn’t), because i think they’re doing very well with percy’s arc for example, because they started with focusing on his and keeping his beats mostly the same and that seems to be much the same case as some of his second wave of meaty character stuff has arrived. but with vex they’ve aimed for the same character beats but it doesn’t always feel as earned or really feel like much character at all; i think saundor particularly was a bit of an :/, since in the campaign it was really a catalyst for vex interrogating her role in the party and her morality and something she struggled to get over and that haunted her far beyond the walls of that tree, but in the show it hasn’t really had a clear impact on vex beyond the scope of the episode itself — syldor certainly has, but the challenge that saundor presented didn’t really have much weight beyond its moment. and obviously a large part of that’s also probably just, 7 protagonists and wanting to expand the perspectives to antagonists and give more room for side characters is a lot of things to cover. and, i say with love, perhaps a bit too ambitious for a 12 episode per season, ~22 minute runtime show if they want their characters to have the kind of depth that really makes campaign 1 shine the way it does.
#rambly thoughts sponsored by early morning haze and complex feelings about different medium storytelling#but i truly do question the choice to have such expansive parts of the story be showing the perspectives of antagonists or side characters#especially when it has a clear cost on the consistency of character depth#i think vex in particular suffers from it because she’s such an internal character that to get the most compelling of her beats right#a Lot of care has to be put into it#but as it is#a lot of the vex story beats are only really felt if you have the c1 knowledge to recognize them#obvs i think there’s likely a more obvious one upcoming#but . i miss vex who only cared about vox machina to the degree that it made her morally shitty to others#and i’m :( we won’t get to see that journey in the show. but alas! that’s what the campaign is for#this also is like. the continually questionable choice to change the trinket backstory in kith and kin having rippling consequences#to be clear this is in no way a like. i think there’s favouritism or anything i have no doubt in the casts ability to advocate for themselve#that said i do think that maybe their choices aren’t always the strongest writing wise !#my complaints or critiques tend to be ones about vex in particular because she is my blorbo of all time#but in general if not for my love of cr i don’t know if i think tlovm is a particularly strong story. it’s entertaining certainly#tlovm spoilers#tlovm#critical role#cr1 spoilers
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2024 reads / storygraph
Lockjaw
YA horror
set in a small town, where a boy died tragically in an old abandoned mill
a group of 11yos on bikes are determined to find the monster and hunt it down - while facing the monsters and prejudices haunting their small town
and some teens, including one of the kids’ sister, a genderqueer guy who tried to get out of town but was drawn back, a homeless trans guy and his dog, and the police captain’s son who get drawn into the web of it all against their will
shifting timelines and perspectives from various kids and residents of the town (plus the dog)
#lockjaw#matteo l. cerilli#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this is a unique and atmospheric slow-building YA horror!#the writing style/format is a bit different from a lot of current YA - it’s a little distant from the characters themselves sometimes#meaning I didn’t feel super attached to all of them; but it also felt like unique storytelling.#There’s the occasional omniscient headhopping that I couldn’t quite tell if it was intentional or not…#It's a little confusing at times and I feel like I didn't quite get everything that was happening; but that’s kinda the point of the book.#you don’t exactly know what’s going on immediately. I think that adds to the atmosphere though.#Especially with the time stuff - but honestly I think that’s kind of the point -the weird haze of an unwelcoming community in a cycle of#violence and it’s more about the characters and community itself.#I think it's partly also my fault for being slightly distracted while listening to the audiobook haha.#Honestly I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it? But it was interesting for sure.#trans books#(also the girl is a lesbian though it's not brought up as much)
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#tumblr girl#pastel tumblr#girly tumblr#ultraviolence#he hit me and it felt like a kiss#loving him was never enough#lizzy grant#lana unreleased#lana del rey#coquette#coquette angel#coquette aesthetic#gloomy coquette#layla buffalo 66#buffalo 66#vincent gallo#dollette#nymph3t#tumblr 2014#dollcore#coquette dollete#doellete#doelet aesthetic#doelita#dolores haze#vintage#vintage americana#retro#nymph aesthetic#nymphetfashion
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fastest way to piss me off is to try and add something to a task im in the middle of doing because 'youre already doing it so this shouldnt be extra work tee hee' THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS
#i have planned this out. meticulously. in my fucking head#i have mentally prepared myself for every step. i have decided how much energy i need#i have Locked In. and u have just fucked everything up#this felt like a bigger issue for energy when i was depressed#but it turns out its still an issue because im Just Like That (probably autistic)#anyway. this all sounds catastrophic but this was inspired by being in the middle#of physically carrying plates and needing to rinse them#which is nothing really but my god did my temper suddenly explode. i think it was also the manner it was said#like tee hee just sneaking it in there youre already doing it so =) if i had been outright asked#before i started moving. i wouldnt have gotten so pissed off#and thinking back on it i wouldnt also have tipped off to nuclear if the extra plates#WERENT PUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SINK WHERE THEYD BE A HUGE HINDRANCE#AND ID HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE THEM TO GET LITERALLY ANYTHING DONE#the simplest solution that absolves me of any assholery is to have said Hey.#next time tell me before i stand up instead of trying to sneak it in cos thats not cute.#unfortunately i was abruptly consumed by a haze of pissed off#tldr this all boils down to I had a plan i had allocated resources and everything was planned arnd it#and u threw a wrench in it. can u imagine what its like when bigger more substantial things#are interrupted. it involves drinking to avoid snapping at people
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“I feel a lavender haze creep up on me”
Or it’s just Harry. It might be just Harry.
#snarry#fanart#felt like drawing something more spicy#harry potter#severus snape#pro snape#snape love#pairing#Altered universe#post hogwarts#posted it here because I don’t want pairing war on my Instagram page#lavender haze
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oh wouldya lookit that
it's thinking about angela orosco o'clock
#queenie rambles about silent hill#i rise from my migraine haze and crying fits just long enough to say i think she should've killed them MORE#then immediately go back to bed#fr tho the desire to expand on my old 'graveyard shift' piece and go into a full angela story is so intense since the remake alksdjfksdjf#i NEED to finish soft reset first but jeeeeesus christ i have so many ideas for graveyard shift#(idk if i'm keeping that as the title but GOD i still feel it deep in my bones so maybe i will IDKKKKKKKKKKKKK)#the whole reason i kept it to a oneshot orig was because i felt like i wasnt ready to undertake something w that kind of emotional gravity#but idk between the almosts and like wringing blood i think...perhaps........i have gotten there. lmao#anyway. once more. must reiterate. i will never love a sh character more than angela orosco
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Did the author swap Rood and Blow's eye colours this time? Rood used to have pale eyes while Blow had dark, but now it is the reverse: Rood has dark eyes while Blow has light.
#black haze#black haze manhwa#rood#blow#reboot#analysis#my post#text#Imma miss the uniform light and dark theme between Rood and Blow#they truly felt like dark mode and light mode of the same person#Now it's more of a yin yang balance thing I guess... with their eyes being the centre dot of contrasting colour#well that explains why I found Rood's eyes so mesmerising#they were Blow's eyes lol
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🦋
🦋 Recommend one or three of your own fics!
because it’s you, i’m reccing you’re the trouble that i always find, my wenzhou dreamsharing/timeloop fic. this one’s for fans of. well. wenzhou, and also mindfuckery and amnesia and soulmates and violence and love interests who are bratty and dramatic in the face of impossible circumstances. (so, again, wenzhou.) it’s also a fic that @bluecrystalrainingdaggers beta’d and therefore the plot is is 200% stronger than i ever anticipated when i set out to write it.
there’s also a fantastically produced podfic!
#i reread this one once or twice a year and go whoa! i did that#writing it felt like a fever haze. i think i literally did have a fever when i got aubrey’s beta edit notes#so many plot points (and torture scenes) only stick the landing because of aubrey’s influence 🫡#wenzhou#fic rec#ask meme
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me realizing some people were emotionally hit by the twist that it's a dream sequence while i was watching it the whole time absolutely sure it wasn't real but still worried it might be and thinking about how the true horror was shauna being all touchy feely towards the baby
#happy for the people just to be clear i wish i didnt feel let down by this ep#but i felt super underwhelmed and it felt very#hm. like. oh my god are you scared of rly getting into pregnancy as horror. you were setting up shauna as someone who is A BAD PARENT#a fucked up parent even from the first scenes of the pilot#and shes having a baby as a 17yo (18? by now? whatever) in the wilderness. the pregnancy reveal caused her best friend's death#and shes not shown to give a fuck abt that baby before its born either like#you rly want me to get hit emotionally with this? well im too busy trying to figure out why shauna is acting like uh#a woman who just gave birth to a planned baby she wanted lmao#like my god can we PLEASE have tv thats unafraid to show pregnancy as horror#and characters who dont feel that quote unquote magical 'maternal' haze blah blah forgot abt all the pain bc oh look at the fucking baby#sorry im disappointed#just to be clear im not one of the I Hate Kids freaks in fact i adore children i just hate pregnancy and would rather die than get pregnant#was p excited for fucked up pregnancy shit and we got this . lifetime lukewarm take on shauna pregnancy#someone write horror shauna pregnancy fic i swear this has to be done#anyways. rant over#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets blogging
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i rly do think kintsugi kid hits incredibly different and deeper from the perspective as a chronically ill person than it ever would otherwise. absolutely guts me
#chronically ill either physically or mentally ofc both apply . as someone who is chronically ill both ways#it's like. god i could write a whole analysis of it from this perspective actually tags wont do it justice#just the lyric on the bright side got the wrong insides is enough for me to be like yeah. i literally do. i was made wrong. i am wrong.#and it is what makes me me and if i dont have that who am i without my flaws . if i dont have that what do i have. id miss it. god.#edit addition: also like the chemical haze part is esp heartbreaking from the perspective of a chronically ill person who at one point was#highly dependent on substances to help ease the pain and is a time period of my life that was awful yet sometimes i miss bc at least i felt#nothing. now i feel so much and it's better for me and i know that but sometimes. i miss it.#txt
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with my current and past project being firmly planted in fantasy i'm finding that i have trouble conceptualizing vivid scenes because of a lack of ephemera and junky bullshit
#with lemesia it was pretty easy to put something contemporary in a scene bc its a time period locked culturally stagnant post apocalypse#you could have your castle with a motor pool or a mall selling swords and pack animals no problem#with my currrent stuff theres a level of haze i cant seem to push through in this initial conceptualizing stage#my guess is that itll become clearer as the world gets lived in#Lemesia felt like this at the start and im confident in my own abilities
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