#it felt like Bam release date

[starlaindisguise]

you know, i get it. sometimes i might be shocked when christmas rolls around and think about how all the time is gone, and how it all flashed by so fast. but what do you MEAN lego monkie kid season 5 is tomorrow

[bbyseok]

at first sight? — GOJO SATORU [TEASER]

pairing: gojo satoru x gn!reader

word count: TBA (looking to be around 5k-ish??)

RELEASE DATE: NOW POSTED

content: soulmate au, gender neutral reader, minimal use of they/them pronouns for reader, but gender is not specified, sorcerer reader, fluff, angst with a happy ending, brief swearing/explicit language, implied satosugu as past soulmates: can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic, fic takes place after jjk 0 but before the show starts

analysis: this is a world filled not only with curses, but soulmates too—in which you know someone is your soulmate when you first make eye contact with them. but for your case, things can get a bit complicated when someone is wearing a blindfold.

here, in this universe, you can tell that someone is your soulmate by simply looking at them. so with that, the saying of “love at first sight” is actually pretty accurate here. you see them for the very first time and barely know the person and yet, somehow, they’re the one you’re destined to be with.

with that, you’d think it’d be pretty common for two random people to run into each other while crossing the street or something and bam! suddenly you’ve found the supposed love of your life!

and you? well, for you, that hasn’t happened yet.

to be fair, it’s not like you’re actively trying to look for your soulmate. handling curses as a jujutsu sorcerer is difficult enough. (maybe you’ll run into them one day after saving them from a curse or something. how romantic.)

it’s better to leave it up to fate. it’s fate who decided your pairing anyway, right?

your transfer to jujutsu tech had been fairly smooth. after being stationed in kyoto for a while, tokyo was a nice change of pace.

coincidentally, you had been out of the country during the incident known as the night parade of a thousand demons. a scary event that proved the threat of curse users to be formidable.

because of that, your decision to transfer to tokyo seemed like the right thing to do. and so far, it’s been decent.

it’s a nice change of scenery. the students are aspiring; while maki and megumi aren’t the friendliest, they’re warming up to you. toge and panda are gradually improving.

nanami’s pessimistic outlook on jujutsu society and shoko’s overall unenthusiastic demeanor are certainly interesting for the most part, but your coworkers are pleasant to be around.

well. except for one.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

gojo satoru knows that you are his soulmate. he has indeed known this fact right from the very start, ever since your first meeting.

even with his blindfold on, he could see your own eyes before him. his six eyes can see everything. the thing is.. he didn’t know he could have another soulmate.

his situation with geto suguru is something he doesn’t talk about with anyone. maybe shoko at times, but even then, it’s rare. it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but it’s pretty hard to talk about.

after suguru defected, gojo could still obviously feel their bond. even though they were no longer together as the strongest duo, did it really matter when their souls were still connected to one another? it was a factor that played in avoiding (and perhaps meeting up with) each other as the years went by.

satoru felt their bond die that day after the events with okkotsu and rika. and it had frightened him. that lingering presence of the bond was no longer there.

so imagine his surprise when he sees you.

a new sorcerer in kyoto, now transferred to tokyo. normally, gojo doesn’t seek out the new recruits, but yaga had dragged him over regardless. besides, he might as well get to know his possible assistant teacher that would be helping him out with the new first years.

“i guess i can check out some new faces,” he relented with a sigh, adjusting his blindfold and looking to the side as yaga’s steps slowed as they approached you.

gojo rolled his eyes–not that you’d see it anyway–as yaga introduced you with your name and your sorcerer grade. he stopped to stand next to the principal.

you extended your hand to offer a handshake, and gojo finally turned his head.

that feeling as his gaze fell upon yours beneath the blindfold was familiar—frighteningly so—and unfamiliar at the same time. as if he could breathe for the first time in ages. your eyes are unaware, but they’re so revealing to him.

satoru stuttered in his movements, reluctantly taking your hand. the skin that touched yours felt like it was on fire. he briefly held on to see if you felt it too.

but you simply smiled up at him.

“it’s nice to meet you, gojo,” you said, blissfully unaware of the revelation currently dawning on the man before you and the turmoil it brought as he abruptly retracted his arm back.

gojo stiffened. he merely offered a curt nod before turning on heel and walking away briskly. he could faintly hear yaga protest about his sudden departure before apologizing to you hastily. satoru shook his head.

how was this be possible? how could the universe give him two soulmates? he didn’t even know that was a thing that could happen. he wondered if there had been a similar occurrence before.

gojo couldn’t help but feel nauseous. was this the world playing some sort of sick, cruel joke on him? or was it perhaps giving him a second chance?

and truthfully, it wasn’t like gojo even wanted another soulmate. not after what he had been through with suguru. he hadn’t given it much thought.

was it really worth it?

what if he couldn’t protect you too?

so satoru had decided on one thing that day. the blindfold stays on. concealing his eyes from the world not only for him, but for your sake too. he was certain in his choice; he would never tell you the truth.

as far as you were concerned, you haven’t met your soulmate yet.

and never will.

[END OF TEASER]

a/n: hi ! thanks for reading the teaser !! this is my first jjk/gojo fic so im excited to post it soon. im thinking about adding a tag list since a few people were suggesting it, so feel free comment if you want to be included <33

[wwbtsdty]

What Makes You Sweat | 18+

Summary: You’re really getting tired of how much time your boyfriend spends in the gym when you have so little time together on his days off. So one day you decide to join him to see what really makes him sweat.

Rating: 18+

Genre: idol!au, smut, fluff

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader

Status: Oneshot

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Explicit language, dom!jungkook, sub!reader, smutty smut, sexual tension, big dick!jungkook, unprotected sex(wrap it before ya tap it!), oral sex, cocky!jungkook, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, praising, dirty talk, creampie, rough sex, spanking, bondage, squirting, begging, cursing, fingering, biting, did I miss anything haha.

Author’s Note: This has been sitting in my drafts forever, mainly because I was so upset I lost all my edits to it one day. Sooo I’m just gonna release it, with the premise that its extremely rough because I can’t find it in my heart to edit it again. So here it is, take it for what it is.. a quickie, dirty, unedited short story haha.

This is all fictional. 

You sigh deeply staring up at the ceiling in boredom, you had tired of playing games on your phone or scrolling social media an hour ago. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, 10:44 PM... he’d been gone for two hours. Just what the hell does he down there for so long?

Surely most people didn’t work out this long every single day, it seemed excessive and it was starting to get on your nerves. You know he promised to keep his washboard abs for ARMY, but surely he didn’t need to work out every damn day to maintain those bad boys.

Grabbing your phone again you sent off a quick text to him.

Did you fall off the treadmill? Are you seriously still working out?

You and Jungkook had been dating for over a year now what he did for so many hours every day in that gym was still a mystery. You had never been tempted to join him before, when he was finished with you for the night you could barely move, let alone go workout. Meanwhile he was the energizer bunny, ready to go again and again until you finally caved and told him to go work off some steam.

The past few days though you’d had to work late because of your bosses stupid mistake. So you weren’t able to get home in time to soothe the bunny, he was always off at the gym so you would pass out on the bed.

Tonight though you’d had to listen to one of your coworkers gossiping about their sex life with their new younger boyfriend. Which of course in turn, got you thinking about how much you happened to miss your boyfriends delicious body, anxiously waiting all day to get home to him.

So here you sat, waiting on his bed, Bam having had long since given up on waiting for his dad and crawling into his crate to go to sleep. Your phone chimed suddenly causing you to practically lunge for it.

I’m just getting started babe, don’t wait up. 😘

Just getting started? What the hell does that mean? What exactly has he been doing for that last two hours?

You groaned, rolling onto your stomach in frustration as you stared at the text on your phone.

Don’t wait up he says! I hardly get to see him anymore, not with working full time and him getting ready for his next comeback, it seemed like their time together was becoming less and less these days—yet all he wants to do is spend time in the gym!

Jumping off the bed you squared your shoulders as you raided the closet for a pair of leggings and a sports bra.

Fine, if he wanted to work out then you were going to join him, sure it was the last thing you felt like doing, but if it meant you could spend time together then so be it!

Jungkook had just finished up running for his cardio workout the last hour, pulling up the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat that had accumulated on his face.

Now that cardio was done he could start on weights, he needed to work his lower body today since he did upper body yesterday. Then of course abs as always to finish off the workout.

Taking a swig from his water bottle, his attention diverted as the door swung open, you walked in wearing what he guessed could pass as workout clothes.

But really there wasn’t much there, he sure hoped you didn’t wear that shit in public to workout or else there was going to be a conversation later.

“Hey, what's up? I told you not to wait up, i’ll probably be a while still.” He eyed you suspiciously, you had never come to workout with him. Not that it ever bothered him, it was more of his thing and that was totally fine by him.

“Well... you spend so much time here, I thought I would see what you get up to for once. Maybe you could give me some pointers as well, I should probably workout more anyway. I’ve been stuck at a desk all week.”

You shrugged trying to act nonchalant, but your eyes gave you away as you took in his appearance. It wasn’t fair how beautiful this man was, even coated in sweat--no, not even, of course coated in sweat this man was absolutely sinful. All you could think about was stripping that shirt off his delicious body and raking your nails down his chest.

You bit your lip, rubbing your thighs together for some sort of relief. You weren’t sure just how long you stood there ogling your boyfriend, but it was obviously enough for him to take notice.

“Hmm... you want to work out?” He sauntered up to you, eyes darkening as he crowded you against the wall, hands coming up to rest on either side of your head behind you.

Your held your breathe as you took in the sudden change in his demeanor. This was the man you had come to know all too well every night, the one that bent your body to his will.

“I missed you, feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” You whispered, tucking a strand of his hair back behind his ear. He smiled brightly, bunny teeth on display as he cupped your cheek leaning down to kiss your forehead sweetly.

Stepping back, he booped your nose cutely with his finger. “I always miss you.” Sighing sadly, “When this comeback is done I promise we will take a vacation, just the two of us. We can spend every waking moment with each other. We don’t even have to leave the bed.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

God, You loved this man so much. How you had gotten so lucky to land Bangtan’s golden boy, he was anything and everything you could ask for in a boyfriend.

“I was about to start some weights, you wanna start with some cardio?” Just like that your tender moment was gone and Muscle bunny was back. How did he just flip a switch just like that, was it part of being an idol or something?

Huffing loudly, you made your way over to the treadmill he had just vacated, turning it on the lowest setting. You walked as slowly as possible, staring aimlessly at the little television blasting some random entertainment show before you. Behind you sounds of grunting and heavy weights clinking filled your ears as he began his workout again.

It was about 16 minutes later, according to the treadmill, when you had finally reached your breaking point. His grunts and groans were driving you crazy, you could hardly walk for fear the slick coating your core would drip down your legs.

Stopping the treadmill you spun around to find him doing sit-ups on the floor, each time he sat up he gave a soft grunt. You bit your lip as an evil plan hatched in your head.

Two could play this game.

You sashayed over to the rowing machine, plopping down loudly on the seat as you fastened your legs in. Wrapping your fingers around the handle to pull back fiercely, you let out a whisper of a moan. You saw his head swivel around towards you at the noise.

Ha, take some of your own medicine Kookie!

You smirked, continuing to pull on the rowing machine. Arching your back with each tug so your breasts thrust into the air alluringly.

His gaze zeroed in on the way your breasts proudly displayed as you rowed, suddenly his grey sweats felt all too tight. He knew you were purposely trying to rile him up, and it was working. But his competitive nature would never let him give him.

Plus, he was actually enjoying having you here with him for once, and he had to admit seeing you working out made him proud.

Not like you needed to work out, eyeing that perfect ass he loved so much. Having you ride him reverse cowgirl was one of his favorite positions, he loved watching that ass bounce up and down on his dick.

Reaching down to adjust his hardening length, he pulled his gaze from your body to refocus himself. At this rate he was going to lose this game you had decided to play and turn this into a whole other kind of workout.

You had quietly crept over his way once he went back to finishing his sit-up, the slight sway of your hips driving him to distraction once more. He stopped, arms behind his head as he laid back looking up at you suspiciously, “You done already?” He questioned, regarding you as a smirk lifted his lips.

You weren’t going to give in that easily, sure you’d been annoyed he hadn’t come over at your show earlier while rowing. You couldn’t miss him adjusting himself and the tent in his pants though. You were getting to him too. It was time to change tactics.

Throwing your leg over his waist you straddled his stomach, hands splayed out across his chest as you nestled your core above his hardening length. Your fingers sliding slowly down his chest to push yourself back to lay against his knees causing your breasts to jut out towards his face tauntingly. “Nope. Just taking a break…”

His brow raised quizzically, thrusting his hips off the floor bouncing you in the process to signal you should move. “Alright princess, well I just finished sit-ups… so how about you give me some motivation to finish my pushups?”

His hands encircled your waist when you didn't move, hoisting you up into the air like you weighed nothing. He let your body slide painfully slow down his until your feet touched the floor, “Lay down.” His voice held a hint of command forcing you to lay down where he indicated unbidden. You watched as he knelt down at your feet, hands moving to either side of your head, his body hovering above yours.

“Now be a good girl and stay still.”

You bit your lip at his deep voice, his face coming closer before moving past yours, his breathe tickling your ear.

“One.”

His whispered breathe across your ear sent a shot of arousal straight to your core, nipples suddenly standing for attention as he pulled back up.

Just as quickly he was pressing back down, this time you were more composed, your head swiveled around to nip at his earlobe.

“Two…” He groaned, pulling back with narrowed eyes.

The third time he decided to press his body flush against yours, hips rolling into your core for you to feel his now fully hard length.

You moaned loudly, frantically thrusting your hips up as he pushed up just as quickly. You glared up at that cocky bunny smile plastered on his face.

“Three.”

You'd had enough of this game.

You grabbed that taunt ass with both hands as he came down for the fourth push-up, rolling your hips seductively against his.

He growled, letting his body collapse atop yours in response. “Naughty girl. I told you to stay still, you can’t even obey one command? Am I going to have to tie you up so you don’t move?” His voice was pure sin in your ear, hands sliding slowly up your arms causing goosebumps in their wake, bringing them up above your head where he captured your wrists in one hand.

“So, we're done playing already? Just when the game was getting interesting...”

His right hand moved quickly down your stomach to cup your heat without warning. Your eyes flew open in surprise, arching your back sharply as you let out a groan of satisfaction at finally being touched, tugging desperately at his grip on your wrists to break free.

A soft moan escaped his lips, “So wet for me already? Does this pussy want to be filled so badly by my cock?” He trailed wet kisses down your neck, he bite the spot where your neck meets your shoulders quickly laving the tender spot with his tongue.

He sat back on his heels, admiring the way your breasts looked barely confined by your sports bra as your chest rose and fell rapidly. Taking your breasts in each hand to squeeze them together, dipping down to taking one of your nipples and then the other into his mouth through your sports bra, tongue circling it teasingly before biting playfully.

“Jungkook!” you gasped, hips thrusting against his hand in reflex, chasing some kind of friction. You could feel just how embarrassingly slick your panties and leggings had become at this point, providing barely any barrier.

Jungkook smirked, pressing the palm of his hand down hard against your clit through your leggings. "Is this what you wanted baby?"

Nodding frantically, "Yes! Yes! Please!!" You should be embarrassed at the way your hips followed his hand as he pulled back, but you were already past caring.

He released your wrists, sitting back on his heels as you whined at the lack of contact. Palming at his hardened bulge as he motioned to the bench behind you. "Go sit that pretty ass down on that bench."

Jumping up to obey, your body trembled in anticipation as you spread your legs displaying the large wet patch that has formed in the crotch of your leggings.

He quickly shed his shirt as he approached you, dropping to his knees between your thighs.

Your mouth watered as you admired that amazing body, eyes catching a drop of sweat dripping down his chest that you suddenly wanted to catch with your tongue. And those damn grey sweatpants, always showing just enough to drive you crazy. His hard dick filled them out so well now, you could practically feel it inside you already.

He made quick work of your leggings, peeling them down your legs. God you were practically soaking that bench already and he’d barely touched you.Grabbing your thighs to tug you down to the edge of the bench roughly. He admired your beautiful pussy for a minute, the material of your panties sticking to your lips making them practically transparent.

He slid his fingertip down your slit, pressing just the tip inside your pussy the material of your panties creating resistance from going in any further.

"All of this just for me? How long has my poor baby been suffering? If you’d just said you wanted to be fucked we could have ended this game quickly. But now I feel like making you wait… I won after all.” A smirk quirked his lips, leaning down to suck your clit into his mouth over the fabric.

“Fuck Jungkook!!” You squealed at the feeling of his mouth, the material of your underwear aiding the sensation. You slid your hand into Jungkook's hair, the other gripped onto the bench beneath you as you rolled your hips against his mouth.

Without removing his mouth from your clit, he grabbed your flimsy underwear tearing it off your body and flinging the offending material away. His mouth moving over your now bare pussy, tongue delving into your folds greedily.

You sobbed in relief, squeezing your thighs together at the sudden onslaught of pleasure that was almost unbearable.

Jungkooks digs his fingers into your thighs, keeping them open for his onslaught. "Ah Ah, don't hide from me." He quips smartly, sending a sharp smack to your pussy that causes you to jump, a whine escaping you at the stinging sensation as more arousal seeps from your lips.

He begins lapping at your clit teasingly, his fingers massaging your thighs as he enjoyed the whines escaping your lips.

“Kook, stop teasing!”

He takes your clit into his mouth once more, sucking strongly. At the same time slowly inserting one finger, curling it as he begins thrusting in and out of your sloppy cunt, rubbing that sweet spot each time.

You could already feel that familiar knot forming in your stomach and he’s barely touched you. Turned on beyond belief from their game earlier and not seeing him the past few days, or more specifically not seeing his cock.

"Tell me this isn't what you came down here for?" He remarks, pulling his digit from your pussy and bringing it up to his lips to taste you.

You screamed in frustration at the sudden emptiness, leaning up on your elbows as you regarded him between your legs not moving.

"Jungkook!" He just laughed at your situation, removing his finger with a pop from his lips, his tongue prodding his cheek. He reached down palming at his dick which had become so painfully hard. Your gaze followed his hand, jerking his length over his pants a few times in relief. He couldn’t wait to finally feel you wrapped so tightly around his cock, it had been so long, he was tired of using his own hand for relief. It was a poor excuse for that tight pussy he had come to love.

"Fine, okay! I came down to get fucked okay? I couldn't wait for you any longer… Jungkook! Please just fuck me already you idiot! I need to feel you!" you sobbed, throwing your arm over your eyes in embarrassment at your confession. Even after so many years you could feel embarrassment at how badly you wanted him at times.

He smiles all teeth at your confession, "Good girl, that wasn't so hard now was it? Did you really think I thought you wanted to work out? Unless you were referring to this workout." He motioned to himself with a cocky smirk, tongue running along his lower lip.

Before you could make a smart ass remark he plunged two fingers inside your pussy, thrusting them quickly in and out of you.

Shoving your sports bra up to reveal those beautiful pert nipples. Taking one into his mouth, his tongue lavishing attention on it as he scissored his fingers inside you, stretching you out for him.

"So fucking tight. How are you still so fucking tight!" He grunted, slipping a third finger inside of you.

You winced at the slight burn, your body already having forgotten the shape of his dick. As the burn ebbed, a delicious pleasure spreading in its place as your thighs quaked from the sudden orgasm approaching. Your hips thrusting in tandem with his fingers, chasing your high.

"Yes, Yes! Jungkook harder!!" You tugged at his dark locks, forcing his mouth harder against your breast.

He rubbed at your clit with his thumb, curling his fingers to continually hit your spot as he increased his speed. His fingers moving so fast you could barely keep up.

Suddenly you felt that cord snap inside of you, your back arching off the bench as you screamed out from your orgasm. A rush of liquid flooded Jungkook's fingers, spraying his chest as he dove down to taste your release. Tongue fucking your gaping hole as it quivered around his mouth, you tasted so fucking sweet he couldn't get enough of it.He pulled his fingers out to rub your clit as his tongue delved deeply inside of you prolonging your release.

"Ah, Jungkook no more.. please..."

He forced your thighs to wide as you tried closing them from the overstimulation, squirming away from his mouth. Your fingers tangled in his dark locks as you tugged at his head trying to stop him.

"I know you can, don't even think about stopping me."

He continued lapping at your sopping pussy, filling you with two fingers again as he sought that spot inside you.

You could feel the overstimulation already turning to pleasure again, moaning loudly as you thrashed on the bench with your fast approaching second release.

Jungkook sucked your clit into his mouth, fucking his fingers harder inside of you until you felt that damn break once more. "JUNGKOOK!!" you screamed his name loudly, black flashing behind your eyes as you squirted all over his face this time, your thighs shaking with the intensity of your orgasm.

You lay back panting as he removed his fingers, watching your gaping hole quiver at the emptiness. He licked his lips glancing down at your throughly fucked out face with satisfaction.

"Good girl, I knew you would do it." He sat back on his knees, chest glistening with your release. Standing up, he quickly kicked his sweats and briefs off, his cock springing to attention against his stomach. He wrapped his hand around his painfully hard length, sliding his fingers up and down a few times before his eyes caught on something in the corner.

You were so out of it, currently basking in your post release, you hadn't even noticed him move to the corner of the room. It wasn't until you felt something cold wrapping around your wrists that you startled to attention.

"What..?" you questioned, giving a measuring tug of your wrists to find them tied together with something.

"You were very bad tonight, trying to stop me from enjoying my prize earlier." He gave a sharp tug making sure your wrists were secured with the jump rope.

"So now your going to lay there and let me fuck you however I want." He whispered in your ear before standing up, he lifted your body up from the bench forcing you to now lay on your stomach.He eyed that beautiful ass now on display, delivering a harsh smack to your left cheek enjoying the red marring your skin.

You jumped at the sudden stinging of his hand, a new flush of arousal spreading throughout your body.

He knelt down at the end of the bench, adjusting some knobs. You suddenly found your feet leaving the floor at the same time the rest of your body leaned down closer to the floor. You felt incredibly vulnerable suddenly, ass up in the air, pussy quite literally on display for his viewing pleasure. You couldn't see where he was or what he was doing.

"Fuck, you're so perfect."

He eyed your position, having risen one side of the bench to lift your ass up to the perfect height, while the other was lowered for your comfort so you wouldn't be at a weird angle. He could see just how wet you were from this angle, your pussy dripping on the bench as your hole twitched with anticipation.

He ran his index finger through your slick, "Just for me."

You suddenly felt the head of his dick teasing your core causing you to thrust yourself back against him, you wanted to feel him filling you up so badly. But instead he kept teasing you, tapping his dick against your clit as he pressed a hand down against your lower back to hold you in place delivering a shark smack to your ass.

"Stay still." He growled under his breathe, pushing forward until the thick head of his cock sinks inside you, just as quickly pulling it out.

"Jungkook!" You screeched, wriggling against your confines in frustration, you feel a new wave of wetness seeping from your pussy. "Please, Jungkook, please fuck me! I need your cock.."

His fingers spread out across your ass, massaging at the reddened cheeks. "You look so amazing like this, bared just for me, pussy just waiting to be filled." He pulled your cheeks apart, groping as he watched the way your pussy twitched, admiring the mess you made of the bench already. He strokes his cock once before lining it up with your heat, coating it in your cum before suddenly thrusting forward sinking balls deep inside of you.

"Fuck!" you screamed out, suddenly feeling so full as he sunk so deeply inside you. You swear you could feel him all the way to your stomach. You clenched around him inside you, wanting to keep him inside.

He slowly pulled out until just the tip was left inside you, letting you feel every ridge and vein before harshly thrusting back in as your ass jiggled with the motion.

Suddenly his thrusts sped up, hips plunging into you as the bench jerked beneath you at the strength of his motion. Loud moans left your mouth as your body fought to keep up with his pace. Pleasure wracks your body, fighting against the orgasm already approaching.

He watched your ass bounce against his hips as he took your hips in his hand, forcing your body down to meet his thrusts. Your orgasm hits you as soon as he presses his thumb down on your clit, thighs shaking as your body releases for the third time tonight.

Jungkook continued thrusting through your orgasm, chasing his release as you felt him swell even bigger flooding your insides with his cum. He gave a few more lay thrusts as his cum started leaking out between your bodies soaking the bench below. He slowly pulled out from the warmth of your body, cupping your heat to keep his cum inside.

“Don’t let even a drop escape.” He commanded moving your hand to replace his as he went to slid his boxers and work out shorts back on.

You squeezed your legs together trying in vain to keep his cum from running down your legs as you to went to find your underwear and leggings he had thrown haphazardly. 

He gave your ass a firm smack once you had finished getting dressed, pushing you towards the door.

“Now be a good girl and let me finish my workout.” He flashed you a cocky grin before heading back over to the weights.

Your jaw dropped at his request, “Seriously?!?” 

Remember to like, reblog and follow if you enjoyed!  💋

[ashwhowrites]

Famous Daddy series

Part 1

Most in Eddie's pov

Modern AU

Proofread later

Eddie Munson had a dream, and a dream that he could never make happen if he stayed in a small town like Hawkins. He needed to move to where the stars were, where dreams became reality and privacy didn't exist. Once he graduated, he was off to California. Throwing himself into every label office he could sneak into. Begging for the chance to be something and be someone.

That's when he met his manager, Zack. Zack said he knew exactly how to get Eddie to the top and Eddie was ready to take the leap. Zack warned him it was a slow start, but he had a loophole to get Eddie to the top even faster. Of course Eddie wanted the loophole. He didn't want to wait and see what happened. He wanted to be a star and Zack promised to make him one, all Eddie had to do was never say no

~~

"Ever heard of Mike Pettson?" Zack asked, now officially being Eddie's manager for a year. Eddie released an album, now they wait for the take off.

"the guy who owns Pettson music label? The biggest company in California? Of course I know who the fuck he is" Eddie scoffed. He wanted to work with Mike himself, but his assistant sent Eddie out the door in seconds

"well he has a daughter your age, very beautiful and refuses to date anyone in the public eye. But you my friend, aren't quite in the spotlight yet, she won't know who you are" Zack smirked, explaining part of his big plan

"okay? What does she have to do with anything?" Eddie asked, he was confused. He knew who she was. Y/N Pettson, one of the biggest pop stars in the world. Granted, she only made it big because of her daddy's last name but she had the talent, the face, and the confidence.

"you're going to date her" Zack said like it was the easiest thing in the world

"excuse me? That girl refuses to date ANYONE. She's turned down A list celebrities, how the fuck do you think she'll like me?" Eddie argued. That girl was way out of his league, and if she ever met him, she'd know it too. She was drop dead gorgeous, a mean streak, bitchy but the biggest sweetheart with her fans. Half the world adored her and the other half envied her. Eddie was stuck in the middle.

"because you won't know who she is. You're new to California, not in the watchful eye of the public. You can slither your way in. Act as if you have no clue who she is or anything about her. Get her to believe you like her for just being her. Get her to fall in love with you, and bam we are in" Zack clapped with a big smile

"you want me to lie and use her just to get my name out? Won't that be like....shitty?" Eddie shrugged, he wasn't feeling too good about this plan. She was a girl with feelings, she was human and Zack wanted him to use her?

"you want to be famous or not Eddie?" Zack snapped, eyes glaring down at him

"of course! But I just fe-"

"Eddie, you are in the music business now, you don't feel anything. You work towards success and that's it. I wrote down her schedule, based on when paparazzi finds her, study it and run into her as much as you can" Zack explained, laying down a sheet of paper with the details on it.

Eddie didn't feel good about it, but he wanted his dream.

~~

Eddie paced around the record store for what felt like hours. Zack refused to let him leave until Y/N walked in. The first step of the plan was to meet her, make sure he acted like he didn't know who she was. Eddie doesn't know how to flirt, sure he's got looks but that's it. She was confident and spent her time turning down anyone that tried to talk to her. He somehow had to make himself worthy.

Zack coughed loudly when the door opened, Eddie's eyes catching her as she walked in. She was even more gorgeous in person. She walked with her head high and the confidence just radiated off of her. Eddie swallowed nervously. Cleaning his sweaty hands on his jeans as he walked behind her, distance away to see where she would end up. She was searching through rock band records, Eddie smiled to himself. Perfect, a topic he knows.

He walked up to her, a soft touch to her shoulder. She sighed and turned around. Eddie was met with her beautiful face but not a friendly look

"No" she said, turning back around to dig through the records. Eddie stepped back for a second. Her pissed off tone caught him off guard. He looked to Zack for help, a look that said try again.

"excuse me?" Eddie asked, watching as she turned around again

"no to what?" He questioned

"to whatever you were going to ask. No, I don't want to go on a date. No, I'm not bringing you to an after party. No, I'm not going to post you so your celebrity crush can find out you exist. No, I can't get you a meeting with my dad. No, I don't want to listen to your mixtape and give my thoughts. No, no and no" she scoffed out, walking down the aisle faster

Eddie panicked and walked after her

"pretty full of yourself huh?" He chuckled. She wanted to be a bitch? Fine, he can play that game

She stopped slightly, but shook her head and continued walking. Her black converse speeding down further away, but he still followed. Noticing something stuck on her shoe, a perfect cover up.

"alright damn! Was just going to tell you that you have a receipt sticking to your shoe" Eddie called after her, this time she fully stopped. Looking down at her converse, groaning embarrassed as she yanked the receipt.

She sighed and turned around. Feeling embarrassed and guilty, she shyly looked up, a very quiet "thank you" on her lips

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch" she admitted, a small smile as she walked out of the shop.

~~

Zack informed Eddie that she goes to that shop every day at the same time. So now Eddie was once again at the same record shop, busying himself as he looked through the records. Apparently a little too busy because he didn't notice her when she tapped his shoulder.

His head turned fast, a look of surprise as she stood there with a shy smile

"I um didn't catch your name yesterday" she said as she held her purse strap tighter

"that's because you didn't ask for it. A little too busy telling me to fuck off" he teased, a small smirk as he turned his body to fully face her

She nodded and licked her lips, "yeah about that....I'm sorry again. I was so out of line" she admitted

Eddie appreciated how genuine she sounded. How her eyes were nervous and her body language was on edge. She was more shy than he thought.

"it's Eddie Munson, And you are?" He asked, reaching out his hand, covered in rings and black nail polish.

She may have tried to hide it, but he saw the shock on her face when he asked for her name

A glance around the shop before her eyes landed back on his.

"not to sound so full of myself, but are you shitting with me?" She questioned, hand still reaching to shake his. She tried to ignore the goosebumps that filled her arms as she felt his soft touch and cold rings.

"what? I'm new here, am I supposed to know you?" He acted dumb. Zack's words in his brain. He needed to act cool, and like he doesn't know a single thing about the goddess across from him, holding his hand

"Y/N" she smiled, he understood why she never gave her last name, and he knew not to ask.

He felt a little disappointed when she removed her hand, offering another smile as she turned and walked out the door

"WAIT. CAN WE TALK?" he yelled after her

His heart raced as she turned around with a big smirk of her own

"I only talked to you to tell you that you have a receipt sticking to your shoe"

Eddie looked down at his shoes confused and sure enough, a white piece of paper was underneath him

He looked up but she was already gone. Once again getting nowhere he groaned and picked up the piece of paper

He went to crumble it up when he noticed it wasn't a receipt, it was her number.

~~

Zack was proud of the progress and told Eddie to slowly begin to text her. To seem friendly but interested. But how was Eddie supposed to flirt with a girl way out of his league?

He didn't text her that night, still trying to figure out what was the best thing to say. He couldn't just say "hey" or "hi" but he also couldn't go straight to ask her on a date.

So he went with "what's your coffee order?"

~~

She questioned him no doubt, but still gave her coffee order.

And she felt the most stupid huge smile on her face when she saw Eddie walk in the record shop holding two cups of coffee

"so this is why" she laughed, she could feel her palms getting sweaty as she got flustered.

"going to be honest, I had no idea what to say and google said it was a good pick up line" he teased, handing her the warm cup of coffee. Her name scribbled in his messy handwriting

"well....it worked. Want to go drink these somewhere? Maybe sit and talk?" She offered

Eddie nodded instantly. Not because he had a job to do but because he already was smitten with her.

They sat and talked for hours. A hidden bench that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. No watchful eyes or flashing cameras. She never brought up her dad, her music or her being famous and he didn't ask. He honestly loved learning the stuff about her that no one else knows. Shit the internet didn't even pick up on. Like how she blows on her coffee before every single sip, even though it's cold from sitting for two hours. The bitchy exterior was a mask and a way to protect herself. He's never seen her smile this much. All the photos on her social media, the red carpets, the awards, none of those smiles matched the one he's been memorized by for the whole day.

Zack's plan just got a whole lot harder

~~~

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[brimbrimbrimbrim]

i really miss your eddie fics ))):

You’re both laying perpendicular across Eddie’s musky, unmade bed, legs hanging off the edge at the knees, passing a joint back and forth with a coffee can ashtray nestled at your hip. Eddie’s curls are a damp tangle around his head after his midnight shower, tickling your bare shoulder in a chilly itch heightened by the fuzzy sensitivity of the weed. It’s a chill Saturday night, not too different from all the rest, except tonight, you got stood up by your date and elected to hit Eddie’s place earlier than intended, bereft of a good dicking (or any dicking).

And as usual, with the weed mixing messily with pent-up hormones, you both end up complaining about your sex lives. You didn’t have much of one, and Eddie… Well… He never got further than one-night stands.

“I dunno…” you muse over his last comment, “I feel like it’s common knowledge that every dude regularly gets morning wood. You’re not special.”

“Other dudes don’t get them like this,” he complains, taking a hit off the joint before talking through the lungful, “I swear to Christ, I could bludgeon an ogre with. One roll and BAM! Crit hit.”

“Okaaaay, so they’re big beefy boners. So what?”

Eddie releases a bullish exhale of smoke, snorting quietly, “So what is that my hand just doesn’t cut it. I need some succubus to suck me off before I wake up, or… uh, scratch that, you don’t wanna hear about this shit. Sorry…”

You shrug, elbow knocking his own, “No, it’s cool. Makes sense you’d fantasize about getting woken up with a blowjob. I wouldn’t mind the same most morning… of course, by that, I mean a dude eating me out and not sucking my dick since… ya know, I don’t have one of those.”

“I’m well aware of that, baby. I’ve shared a bed with you hundreds of times.”

“Not hundreds…” you mutter, “and what does that even prove?” 

Eddie breaks out in a cheshire grin. “Cause if you had a dick, I’d have felt it already. You cuddle when you're stoned, and the shit you say in your sleep? Fuck, you’re a total deviant.”

You don’t deny the deviancy part but give his profile a glare; his face is still cracked in a big smile, eyes closed as he sneaks in another hit before blindly wiggling the half-smoked joint for you to grab. He’s disgustingly pretty at this angle, with pink puffy lips, a kissable nose, and heavy lashes teasing his flushed cheeks. Shame he’s not into you, ‘cause you’d straddle him in a heartbeat rather than waste anymore effort on Hawkins’ bachelors. There may have been a decent supply of single men around town, but none of them were like Eddie—none of them liked the same music you did, appreciated your weird art, or could quote-converse Tolkein with you as he could.

Frowning, you take the joint Eddie waves in your direction and suck in a lungful of earthy skunk, “So, hang on… you’re saying I’ve been a perv in my sleep, and you never said anything?”

“I’m a gentleman.”

You scoff, “Yeah, tell that to the boners I’ve had to bat away while you’ve been dreaming of… what, cheerleaders? No, I bet money on Madeline Kahn.”

“I haven’t had a wet dream about cheerleaders since middle school, and who doesn’t find Miss Scarlet hot? Calm your tits, princess—and I woulda known if you were swatting at my dick. Liar.”

You shrug, ignoring his snicker at your lack of any witty retort. The smug bastard probably would wake up the second a feather ghosted over his dick, given how fast he came when he popped his cherry a year ago. Eddie really screwed up confessing that one ‘cause you quickly buried down the heartache by calling him a two-pump chump for a whole month afterward.

“Man,” Eddie sighs dramatically, “waking up with lips around my dick sounds like heaven.”

“No, shit. That’s what I’ve been saying all night! Where have you been?”

“High. But seriously, men are horn dogs; that is common knowledge. It’s just like… I dunno; the mechanics are different than waking your girlfriend up with head, or a good dick down. It’s way easier to sneak attack a dick than some girl’s pussy.”

“Pff,” you blow out a burning hit and roll over on your side, facing Eddie’s curl-smothered profile. He’s staring up at the ceiling now, looking stoned and relaxed, something that brings you all the happiness in the world after the better part of the year bringing so much chaos and stress. “So you’re telling me if your girlfriend wanted it, you wouldn’t give her a down-low kiss good morning.”

His devious grin is absolutely infectious. 

“Oh, I’d do more than that…” 

“Hot,” you deadpan, taking a second hit since he snuck two in on his pass, then rest your hand on his chest, joint perched between thumb and forefinger.

Eddie pushes his chin to his chest, brows raised, and takes the splif, hitting it with a fizzle of burning paper. His gaze drifts to you when he exhales the smoke, glassy chocolates gleaming with affection. “You're crashing here tonight, right?”

“If you’ll have me,” you whisper, eyes fluttering sleepily in a way that have you missing the blush that stains Eddie’s cheeks at your words. “I’m waaay too high to drive home.”

“You live next door, dumbass,” it’s said with a smile that makes you snuggle up until your nose touches his arm.

“Must have forgotten how to walk then,” you laugh, then sit up on an elbow, looking down at Eddie’s dopey expression. “Hey, you got something clean for me to sleep in? I don’t wanna wear this stupid dress to bed.”

His eyes rake down the tight, leather-buckled dress like he’s seeing it for the first time. It doesn’t escape your notice the way his gaze lingers on the hem digging into your upper thighs, then the dip where it shows off a light swell of cleavage, but… he’s a man, and men are horn dogs like he said.

“Why?” Eddie asks, genuinely confused, “Afraid it’s gonna ride up in the night, and you’ll wake up with your best friend’s boner in your ass?”

“… no?” Though you wouldn’t mind in the slightest. “But it’s sorta tight and… ugh—“ you toss yourself on your back with a bounce, groaning into the hazy bedroom, “—can you believe I got stood up after putting on makeup AND this dress?” 

You turn your head and huff indignantly. “All this effort for no beef. I swear my luck is total dog shit.”

“Well,” Eddie shrugs, “it’s his loss.” 

He smiles, rolling to face you. “I’m the one with a hot babe in his bed, not what’s his name.” Eddie wags his brows, earning him a jab in the shoulder that he takes like a total bitch, rolling over melodramatically until his back hits the headboard, clutching his shoulder with a hammy grimace of pain that’s too fucking cute. Stop being so cute, Munson! 

“Quit being a chode and get this hot babe something to wear or she’s dragging her fine ass home,” you threaten, then add with your limp hand poised over your forehead, “through the cold!—and rain!—and five feet of snow or whatever! If I get the sniffles, you know I’ll kill you.”

“I’m too cozy,” Eddie hugs himself in his nook against the headboard, mimicking your earlier pout, “Just grab whatever’s in the laundry basket.”

“I’m not wearing your dirty clothes, Munson.”

“They’re clean. Relatively,” he adds, “just didn’t wanna fold clothes on a Saturday.”

“More like ever. But, whatever. Fine.” You wiggle off the bed, absentmindedly tugging the hem of your dress back down the exposed curve of your ass cheeks, totally oblivious to your best bud Eddie nearly biting clean through his tongue to hold down a groan at the sight. Not like he hasn’t seen you in a bikini or your panties a few times. Plus, the two of you had a bad habit in senior year (all three of his) of letting your laundry pile up until you were hanging wet clothes in your last pair of underwear behind his trailer. So, yeah… you don’t think about whether the dress or its relative shortness has given him a boner or not.

It totally has…

“Oooh, found the best one!” You triumphantly hold up his Hellfire shirt, turning around to find him gripping a pillow in his lap, glaring at you beneath his frizzy bangs. When his eyes shift to the shirt in your hands, he does a double take and blushes. Weird. 

“Can you crank up the heat, Dungeon Master?” You snicker, wiggling his infamous shirt for emphasis before fishing for some clean boxers only to find none. Panties it is then, you shrug, waltzing out of his bedroom without a single thought to the human tomato white-knuckling his pillow on the bed.

You and Eddie have always been close, almost obnoxiously so, in a way that was meant to make everyone else around you hem and haw. This wasn’t any different from your usual, but Eddie gulps once you peace out of the room to the bathroom, wondering how the fuck he’s gonna sleep without duct-taping his dick to his stomach…

You’re rubbing lipstick off when the rattle of the heater kicks on, making more than warmth rise up from the floor grate, kissing your ankle and your heart. It’s the little things someone does that always hit the hardest, you think. 

After getting most of the cherry stain off, leaving your lips raw, you yell ‘thank you’ through the wood panel door, smiling when Eddie hisses like Gollum on his way back to the bedroom. Dork.

His Hellfire shirt sits on your upper thighs, just below your ass, the same as the dress had, except it’s not pinching your ribs or tits. The well-worn fabric smells like him… with the barest hint of detergent, but mostly him. Honestly, whether he actually washed it or not is up for debate, but it still smells good… like really good—good enough that your pussy pulses. 

You take a moment to lift it off your soft tits and give it a whiff. The aroma of weed, old spice aftershave, and fresh linen makes you wet, panties going damp. For a moment, you pretend to be wearing his shirt under a different, more sexy scenario just to feel your heartbeat kick up in your clit. It’s always been wild how horny Eddie makes you… but alas, you talk a good game but are a coward at heart. It would take a single honest question to figure out what he feels for you, but the idea terrifies you like nothing else. 

After readjusting your panties and Eddie’s shirt, you decide to save the eye makeup scrubbing for the morning. Not like your best buddy hasn’t seen you with raccoon eyes a few times, or the rare teary-eyed mascara streaks.

Back in the musky bedroom, Eddie is already in bed, arms behind his head, one leg propped up under the covers… and he’s fucking whistling like the epitome of cartoon innocence. Seriously, Jerry Mouse was more saint-like than Eddie looked right now…

“What did you do?”

Eddie’s eyes twitch but doth move from whatever stain on the ceiling has his attention, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never done a wrong thing in my life.”

You exhale a sleepy laugh and dive into his cramped bed, immediately digging beneath the covers. Eddie makes a sound—a low whine—and snatches his half of the covers before they can slide off his waist. It’s toasty warm now, thanks to the rattling heater, but you figure he’s still acclimating like a weirdo. Sometimes the dude runs way too hot, while other times, it’s like his body goes into dormancy, and he’ll try to suck up as much heat as possible, even if it means jamming his icy toes behind your knees. Thankfully, it seems he’s just being greedy about the blanket this time, so you relent and throw yourself on your back, trying to find the gestaltism in the water stain above the bed.

Eventually, Eddie drops his knee and deflates, hands on his chest, fingers tapping a tune into his ratty Megadeth shirt. 

“So…” he hollows out the word, “… you gonna give Brandon another shot?”

“Huh?” You turn your head, finding Eddie still gazing up at the ceiling. Is he serious? “Umm… fuck no. I have some standards. Besides, I’m not hurting that bad for dick.”

“... no?”

“Well, it’s been a… while, but—anyway, my hand works just fine for now,” you blush a bit, still feeling that throb between your legs, which only gets worse when you realize Eddie is literally right next to you, in bed… while you’re in your panties and his shirt and nothing else, “... anyway, I’d sooner have you drive me to Fort Wayne for a vibrator. They have a sex shop there, right?”

“Pretty sure they got one on the thirty before Columbia,” Eddie says, the words coming out a little high despite him being… well, high. Despite the giddy pulse of arousal still wetting your panties, you're far too tired to wonder what his deal is.

“Well, whatever…” you yawn and cuddle into one of two lumpy pillows laden with Eddie’s aromatic shampoo and sweat, “as long as I’ve got you, some weed, and my health, I’m fine.”

“Me?” He gulps. 

“Mhm,” you nod, eyes closed, nosing his pillow, “Yeah, you, ya freak.”

Eddie doesn't say a word, which is sorta weird cause he never shuts up, but you're warm, stoned, and happy, which are things almost impossible not to feel with your very best friend in the whole wide world. Regardless of how bad you wanna fuck him, this is the best; just cuddling up with the soft bandana high surrounding you, absorbing all the faint and strong smells stuck in Eddie’s bed… wrapped in his shirt. 

“Now,” you sigh, smiling, “if only you were into me, then I’d be set.”

The metalhead beside you clutches his shirt in your hazy view, chest coming to a halt as you murmur, “I’d have you, dick, weed… and like, all the hit points,” another yawn, “… might even improve my questionable mental health too.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s warm in here.” You kick the blanket down your shoulders, letting in a little more air, and sigh into sleep. “Don’t worry; you don’t have to crush my dreams, m’just gonna… pass out… night, Eddie.”

(I tease...)

[bleach-boyz]

Chapter 3: Poo Diving

prev. // next

In the weeks following the party, you and Dico slowly got more furniture, and soon your apartment was almost resembling one that real adults would live in. Almost. 

That apartment became one of the most common places to go for hangouts due to almost everyone else still living with their parents. You’d occasionally host parties there too, but you’d insist on moving all the breakable furniture to yours and Dico’s rooms before people got there. 

You’d planned to invite your downstairs neighbors again to the next party you’d thrown, but in the weeks leading up to it, you’d noticed a woman entering and exiting their apartment almost every day. Dico later found out after talking to the other neighbor that the one you’d slept with had a girlfriend, and that was the woman who was there all the time. You felt so ashamed and annoyed by this that the next day you waited outside for the woman to show up so you could tell her what happened. Needless to say, you never interacted with that guy again beyond an awkward pass on your way in or out of the apartment building. 

You begged Dico not to tell the guys about that whole situation, but the group wasn’t very good at keeping their lips sealed over another person’s embarrassment. The crew teased you for a while, but soon everyone forgot about it. There was always something new to make fun of someone for. 

The rest of 96’ and 97’ was mainly just a blur of partying and the same shit y’all always got up to. You’d finished a full year at West Chester University and immediately decided to drop out, not finding any fulfillment in your time there. You didn’t aspire to be a doctor or lawyer or anything that required a degree; you were totally fine having a day job and spending the rest of your time having fun with your friends. Your parents didn’t really care either, because you were making enough from the record store job to support yourself, and they trusted your judgment, which you were extremely grateful for. 

1998 was the year that things started ramping up for the crew because that was the year that Jess officially formed his band, CKY. A new member of the band and friend group was a guy named Chad, whom you actually started dating after hanging out for a few weeks. He was six years older than you, which was a little weird at first, but you clicked really well. Plus, you’d never had a serious partner before, so you thought you might as well try it out. The boys would occasionally ask you inappropriate questions about your sex life because they couldn’t help themselves, but surprisingly, they mostly left you alone about it. It was just the new normal. 

In terms of everyone else’s relationships, that same year Bam started dating Jenn, who you got along with easily. Jenn had actually been a friend of your older brother’s back when they were in high school, so you recognized her immediately when you first met. The two of you would go out to dinner or the movies every now and then to have a more normal, chill night without the boys. The rest of the crew were just sort of in and out of random relationships, none of which were particularly noteworthy. 

Bam had also decided to take on an extremely ambitious project in 98’, which was to make a film compiled of the crew’s skate tricks and stunts while featuring CKY’s music. It was basically just a longer version of the videos you all had been making for years, and you spent a large chunk of your free time helping film and edit material for the project. You made it into the film a few times, including a stunt where you skated down a tiny half pipe straight into a brick wall, but admittedly you liked working behind the scenes a little bit more. You particularly liked sitting with Bam at his desk, going through hours of footage, and helping him execute his fast-paced editing style that would become unique to all his future videos and films. 

It was the first CKY film’s release in early 1999 that really ushered you and the crew into a new, crazy chapter of your life. Instead of just being stared at on occasion in West Chester, people were starting to come up and talk to you all at random places and even buy you drinks. The popularity of the film, in combination with Bam’s steadily rising level of fame as a skater, also meant that he was getting sponsorship offers and calls from all sorts of people wanting to work with him. But it was after the more widespread release and popularity of CKY2K the next year that he was approached for MTV’s Jackass. 

After Bam had been flown out to LA and talked to the creators behind the show, it was no question that you’d all be participating in its making. Bam had explained that it was being made by people who worked at Big Brother Magazine, which you were all already familiar with and fans of ever since Bam had been featured in it for his skating. That, combined with the fact that you’d be getting paid not only with money but with exposure, was enough to get you on board. You’d made an okay amount from CKY2K’s sales, and MTV wasn’t exactly promising to pay you much, but getting money and recognition for the thing you enjoyed doing the most was all anyone could really ask for. Bam was the only one who was really getting paid good money, but that didn’t really bother you; his fame made him a lot more important to the project. 

The commitment to the show meant that you all had to make a ton of content quickly, which was different from how it was in the past when you’d just film whenever you wanted. It was the pressure that came from knowing you were about to be seen by such a large audience that drove everyone to come up with and participate in the most gruesome and disgusting stunts any of you had ever done. 

The most memorable day of shooting for you was for a stunt called "Poo Diving" in which Ryan would be swimming in a pool of sewage and shit at a treatment plant. 

-

You wake up with a raging headache and an overwhelming feeling of nausea. You groan and look at the clock to see that it’s already the afternoon, and you and Dico had to be at Bam’s house in an hour to film. 

Yesterday, you and Chad had broken up, and you’d spent the night getting drunk in an attempt to feel better about it. You two hadn’t been spending enough time with each other lately, with him touring with CKY and you now working on the show. You’d just drifted apart, and although you both agreed to end it on good terms, you couldn’t help but feel a bit upset. After all, you'd been together for almost two years.

Your hangover in combination with your grief would have probably resulted in you staying home on any other day, but today was the first day you’d be filming with the camera crew from LA, including the creator Jeff Tremaine. Also, you knew you would never forgive yourself if you missed seeing Ryan swim around in liquid shit, so you down a few ibuprofen and get ready for the day. 

You roll up with Dico at Bam’s house an hour later, and based on all the cars in the driveway, you can assume everyone else is already there. You two walk through the front door and see Bam, Ape, and a few other strangers who you assume are the LA crew standing in the kitchen. 

"Well, look who’s here!" Ape says and pulls you into a hug. 

"Hey Ape." You hug her back and then turn to the unknown people. 

"I’m Jeff. This is Trip," Jeff says as he points to the guy next to him and shakes your hand very professionally.

You get introduced to everyone, and soon after, Ryan shows up, acting way too enthusiastic for someone who was about to do what he had to do. 

"Excited for the air time?" You ask him as you buckle your seatbelt for the ride over to the treatment plant. 

"Damn right." 

Once you get there, Ryan strips down to his underwear, and the boys start taping the fabric to his legs so that no sewage can get into his ass. It’s very legit. 

"So he just has no problem doing something like this?" Jeff asks you. 

"Well, some people lose their dignity, and some are born without it." You respond, and Jeff laughs. 

Ryan puts on his floaty and positions himself above the sewage. 

"Don’t forget your snorkel buddy." Dico says to Ryan and tosses it to him. 

"Right, that was almost a disaster." Ryan sighs as he puts on the snorkel. 

As soon as Jeff makes sure all the cameras are good to go Ryan jumps into the tank, much to the disgust of everyone else around him. After a few seconds, he pulls himself out, and Bam informs him that they didn’t get the shot and he has to do it again. You hold back a laugh, knowing there’s no way they didn’t get the shot the first time, and watch as Ryan jumps back in for a second time. 

After he gets out for the second time, Ryan runs around, trying to smear some of the sewage on anyone close by. He nearly grabs you, but you manage to dodge him quick enough, so he sets his sights on Bam instead. The smell of shit and sewage coming off his body combined with the nausea you were already feeling from your hangover causes you to dry heave, and unfortunately, someone on the crew catches it on camera. 

Bam soon sprays Ryan down with a hose, getting most of but not all of the sewage off of him. On the car ride back to Bam’s house, you roll the windows down all the way to try and minimize the smell that was still coming off of Ryan. 

"It’s kind of an improvement on how you usually smell." Dico teases. 

Once you get back to the house, Ryan presents himself to a horrified April, who insists that he must eat the dinner that she made for everyone outside. You watch her take a plate of food out to Ryan, who is sitting on the side of the road with a tiny table in front of him, and you laugh at the absurdity. 

You have a good time at dinner, telling funny stories and cracking jokes with everyone, but you decide to cut out right after and head to the local bar. Thanks to the fun you had with everyone, you are feeling a little better than you did yesterday, but you still want some time alone to indulge in self-pity. 

After you have a few drinks, you step out for a cigarette, and it is then that you see Ryan, Dico, and a couple members of the camera crew get out of Ryan’s car. They walk up to you, and you’re immediately hit with the overwhelming smell of perfume that Ryan had clearly doused himself with in order to try and mask the shit smell. 

You cough slightly. "I think a shower might have been more effective." 

Ryan shrugs his shoulders and pulls out a cigarette from his own pack. 

"We’re gonna get a round." Dico says as he and the other dudes they showed up with head inside the bar. 

"I heard about you and Chad." Ryan says after a few moments of silence. You sigh. 

"Yeah.. what are ya gonna do?" You say and take a long drag from your cigarette. 

"Well, I’m here for you if you like—need to talk or whatever." Ryan says, and you smile a little. 

"I’m sorry it’s hard to pay attention to anything you’re saying when you reek of poop, Ape’s perfume, and now cigarettes." You joke, and Ryan scoffs. 

"Hey! I’m trying to be genuine over here, so you better cherish it." He says, and you laugh. 

"I know. Thank you. I appreciate it." You reply. "How are things going with you romantically?" 

"Well… I’m not sure we need to get into all that." He says. 

"So, unsuccessful?" 

"Definitely." 

"What happened to that girl that you brought to the last CKY show here?" You ask. 

"We’re on a break right now; I’m pretty sure she was cheating on me with her ex." He says and shakes his head. 

"Oh shit, I think I remember Dico telling me about that. I’m sorry, man." You say and go to put a comforting hand on Ryan’s shoulder before remembering where he was a few hours ago and retracting it. 

"It‘s all good; I only broke like three pieces of furniture raging about it. And I don’t know; I’m supposed to get dinner with her this week, so we’ll see." He explains. 

"Well, good luck, I guess." You say and put out your cigarette on the wall behind you. A few quiet seconds follow, where you can tell Ryan is debating saying something, and you cross your arms, wondering what it could possibly be. 

"You know, a few years back, when you and Dico first got that apartment, I had a bit of a crush on you." Ryan finally admits, and you raise your eyebrows in disbelief. 

"Oh really? Why didn’t you ever say anything?" You ask. 

"Well, I was gonna try to put the moves on you at your housewarming party, but then you disappeared with your neighbor, and after that, I just assumed you weren’t interested." He says and then stamps out his own cigarette. 

"Hmm.." You think back to that time, which was now almost four years ago. You’d admittedly never thought of Ryan in that way, but you honestly might’ve said yes if he’d asked you out. You obviously got along really well, and you had kind of noticed him slowly getting cuter as he got older. 

"Why are you telling me this now?" You decide to ask. It’s not that you don’t appreciate the honesty, but you are desperately hoping that Ryan isn’t bringing this up to try to make a pass at you the day after you got out of a long-term relationship. You don't know if you'd be able to handle it.

"I don’t know; I think it’s a bit funny now, I guess. It was so long ago, I thought you might get a kick out of it." He smiles, but you’re not entirely convinced by his answer. 

"Yeah," you say, feeling a bit awkward and weirdly nervous for a moment before deciding to try and crack a joke. "Wait, so you were gonna put the moves on me? What moves do you even have?" You tease. 

"Oh, come on, I have moves; watch." He says and puts his arm against the wall behind you so that his face is close to yours and he’s blocking you in. You might have blushed if it weren’t for the horrible smell that wafted toward you when he got closer. You duck under his arm and head to the entrance of the bar. 

"The move you need to make is towards a shower." You say and signal for him to follow you. He rolls his eyes and comes with you, and you spend the rest of the night drinking and laughing with the others inside. 

During the following days, your mind would occasionally drift to Ryan’s confession, and you’d ponder why he’d decided to tell you about it then. Maybe he really just thought it was funny, and the intention was sincerely to make you laugh, but the tone in which he said it just felt a little off. You thought you’d detected some longing or something. 

A week passed, and you’d decided to believe that you were just overthinking it after finding out from Dico that Ryan’s dinner with his ex resulted in them getting back together. 

Regardless, though, the conversation made you reflect on your entire friendship with Ryan. It was weird; you hadn’t really noticed how much care and attention he’d been providing you with since the beginning. It made you feel like a bad friend for not appreciating him, and it also brought up some other, more confusing feelings. You didn’t think you could say you’d become attracted to him, but you could say that you’d maybe developed more of an affinity for him. 

It made you want to pay more attention.

———————

Actually driving myself crazy trying to keep this is accurate as possible to the real life timeline of events- sorry if I mess anything up. There was just so much going on lol.

Thanks again to everyone who is reading 🙏 I feel bad that I can’t follow people back or engage as much as I want to because this is a secondary blog 😢 but know that I appreciate it soooooo much hehe.

[faemytho]

man ykwhat, i didn't wanna say it but i was thinking about it earlier and swan being released so soon after abyss monarch, after something like three years of no new legendaries (not counting the dragons here), it feels like devsis was riding the high of releasing a good legendary with an interesting story and worldbuilding. feels like they were trying to cash grab what they got from the success of abyss monarch by quickly releasing swan so soon after. like, come on, i dont even think there were two events between abyss monarch and the sugar swan's releases, and those are two LEGENDARIES. bam bam. we had like zero room to breathe between them

also like, come on. they released swan from NPC hell after SEVEN YEARS and her whole event is unsatisfying because she wasn't even in the event for like 90% of it. i like the worldbuilding they did for the dessert paradise and i love blue slushy, but it really didn't feel like a new legendary release event.

if you ask me, sugar swan shouldnt have released at all during that event, ESPECIALLY because of that teaser cliffhanger at the end of the story! if they had used the dessert guardian test event to build up to the sugar swan's legendary release at a later date, that ending cliffhander would've given devsis room to make a future event to release her! they could've given swan the same proper build-up they gave abyss monarch. did you guys SEE how in-depth the designers went with "The Making of Wandercrab"??? why did swan get SHAFTED so hard

swan is an extremely indifferent character and i like the angle they're going for with her but. their execution of her story and the timing of her release and everything...??? it just felt SUPER flat. like they went all in building wandercrab for abyss monarch and shafted swan SO bad bc they wanted money. swan doesnt get an intricately built story and setting the way abyss monarch does with the tower of frozen waves leading into sugarteara leading into wandercrab, and it KILLS me bc swan's release could have actually been REALLY cool if they'd just teased her in the dessert guardian test event and then waited to release her in a future event.

like, hear me out. what if it had gone like, blue slushy, epic cookie, first release, they introduce the spring and summer sections of the dessert paradise. red panna cotta cookie, epic cookie, second release, they introduce fall and winter sections of the dessert paradise. everything goes as is, but the swan isnt released, she's just touched on in the story and is a little cameo at the end! like wow, she CAN turn into a cookie that's pretty cool. and its this big payoff for blue slushy's character arc and it gives some closure to red panna cotta's conflict with blue slushy too, all without dropping the sugar swan too much in there because the story wasn't really ABOUT her as a character, just her as an IDEAL.

and then, there's the ending cliffhanger with the black sugar duck, which gives them a perfect opportunity to springboard from that into a future event where swan is released!

and remember how in the event they said if the swan doesn't return, winter will come? well, what if in this hypothetical future event, something does happen to the swan, and it's the black sugar duck's fault, and winter DOES come.

i think it'd be an interesting spin to add elements of the demeter persephone hades story too, where persephone spends three months in the underworld with her husband and demeter is so upset at being away from her daughter that persephone's absence causes winter

black sugar duck does something to the swan, winter comes. the dessert paradise guardian birds have to go find and free/save the swan to stop winter! MAN THIS COULD'VE BEEN THEIR WINTER TO SPRING EVENT NEXT YEAR TOO

idk. maybe also the black sugar duck becomes a cookie because of whatever they did to the swan and is the first release cookie, but we don't KNOW it's them. we can only guess until halfway through the event where we find out they're purposefully leading the dessert guardians astray from finding the sugar swan because they want to continue being beautiful and its a huge conflict! and then swan releases as the second cookie in the event, and we get some characterization for her that's beyond just "she's an indifferent goddess, neither malevolent or benevolent". maybe she willingly GAVE some of her power to the black sugar duck. maybe she's the persephone to the black sugar duck's hades. maybe she's the indifference to the black sugar duck's extreme passion and they balance each other out.

meh idk. i just feel like the sugar swan's release event could have been better thought out instead of being a transparent cash grab. also red panna cotta SHOULD have been playable.

[starsreminisce]

What did you think about the cc and acotar crossover? i didn't like that much cause introduced things that to be honest doesn't thrill me. I want the korshei resolution goddammit

Personally, I would pay to see what the original draft looks like. I honestly had a great time with it because my expectations were so low. SJM said she got annoyed with the direction and rewrote the whole book from scratch in six weeks. I had that knowledge going in after reading A Curse For True Love where Stephanie Garber said she had to rewrite a huge chunk of the book because it was "too dark," which explained why the release date was pushed back a month. Similarly, with Iron Flame, it was announced in June to be released in November.

If a book is rushed and authors are working against a deadline, the likelihood that it's not going to be good is high. KOA's first draft was written in six weeks, but that wasn’t the final draft.

CC1 is easily top three for me, then I was let down by CC2. When SJM said she had to rewrite CC3, I had to rein in my expectations about how much ACOTAR would actually be in CC. I know I fell victim to the hype about how immersed we’d be in ACOTAR because of how CC2 ended, and I wondered if that was the original plan until she was told to change it. It made no sense to me to bring Bryce to the townhouse and then detain her at the Court of Nightmares. The BAM bonus chapter definitely made me wonder if we were supposed to get more from there.

With that, I agree. We're still missing the link between the Asteri, Daglan, and the Valg. I am not convinced that they are all the same group but could be offshoots of each other. I didn't like how I felt compelled to read CC because I saw Nesta and Azriel being in a bonus chapter without any context, and then read ToG because the algorithm picked up that I read both series, so it started spamming me with Maasverse theories about how they are connected. Summaries and quotes had nothing to compare to reading the book.

As for Koschei, that's one piece of the puzzle I am trying to figure out as well. I go back and forth about whether he'll end up being the big bad or just a red herring for the Ancient Queen.

I still think ACOTAR and CC's crossovers are just there to provide context and history for items. Based on how HOFAS was, I don’t really see a reason for Bryce to return to Prythian, and the Harp seems to serve the same purpose.

Thank you for asking!

[originspeed]

Bored so I'm gonna ramble a lot about the Pokémon timeline and specifically Red and I guess Blue too :3

So with Red's shirt in SM, it heavily implies He and Blue started their adventure in 1996, the year of release for the original games. Obviously, right? So then, with Red and Blue being 11 years old when they started, that would make having been born in either 1984 or 1985 (I go with 1984 so I can use the birthdays from the manga, making Red's birth date 8/8/1984.) And then from there, the gen 1 games happen at the same time as the gen 3 games if that one now deleted tweet from Toshinobu Matsumiya showcasing the Pokémon timeline is to still be believed. So then, 3 years later gen 2 and 4 occur, placing Red and Blue at 14. But then, there is an unspecified amount of time from that to the gen 5 games. Here, I like to just go with the real life years it took for those games to release; therefore, 2006 - 2010 from DP to BW that's 4 more years making Red and Blue about 18, then plus 2 more years for B2W2 and XY and they're 20 during the PWT. So far, this would make the year in Pokémon to be 2005 if we're doing it like this. Then we're back on track with specification so 2 more years, our boys are now 22 in Alola at the Battle Tree and the year would be 2007. Here's where I start theorizing again as we go through more unknown time. So again, I'm just gonna follow through with years from SM to SwSh. So 2016 - 2019 that's 3 years making the year 2010 in Pokémon time, then we add SV with 2022 tacking on 3 more years, and we're in 2013. This would make Red and Blue somewhere around 25 and then 28 by the time of SwSh and SV respectively. Bam, that is my very simple theory, not accounting for Let's Go or the split of the mega and non-mega timelines... let's just not worry about that. This timeline probably doesn't conflict with anything too much, the Pokémon world has more advanced technology than the real world anyways. Aside from that, I think just going with real life is pretty cool too. With real life time, that'd make Red and Blue 40 years old right now. Old ass men, smh. Anyways that's all I got I just felt like yapping, let me know what you think, I'd love to hear other headcanons for the game's timeline I really like reading that stuff :P

[fairybenz]

i saw the tv glow - my thoughts!

*warning* there are spoilers in this review

oh. my. god. i've actually been so obsessed with this film ever since i saw it! i saw it i believe may 5th? not too sure on that date, haha! either way, i've been obsessed.

so, basic summary: "A classmate introduces teenage Owen to a mysterious late-night TV show -- a vision of a supernatural world beneath their own. In the pale glow of the television, Owen's view of reality begins to crack." (pulled from google)

so, oh man. where to begin?! i'll start with the reason i wanted to watch this film, the soundtrack! i originally saw alex g was going to be on the soundtrack, so i was interested in watching. oh boy, the soundtrack definitely lived up to expectations! so many wonderful tunes, some recognizable and some new! i think my favorite track from the song was the one titled "Sunburned and Unkissed" by Caroline Polachek. Such a lovely song, i've been listening to it on repeat! literally as soon as my friend and i exited the theater, i searched for the soundtrack. every song was so fitting to the scenes they were part of. truly, i'm obsessed.

okay, besides the soundtrack, let's talk acting! the main characters in this film were Justice Smith and Brigette Lundy-Paine. both of them, in my opinion, did so well! i'm not going to lie, every time i see Justice Smith i end up thinking of detective pikachu, but that was so quickly forgotten as i got into the film itself. Brigette Lundy-Paine was also such an amazing actress, she played the role well, encompassing the awkward teenager while also playing into this darker role that we see later in the film.

according to the director, Jane Schoenbrun, the film is supposed to be a sort of look into the transgender experience, using the TV and other metaphors to help showcase it. as a queer person who falls under the trans umbrella, i thought the film did a beautiful job of doing this. it felt real, and raw. The director says themselves, "I was trying to make a work that could really feel authentic to how that really feels, rather than the kind of Hallmark card, Disney versions of transition that we see in Hollywood films written by cis people who are trying to capture something authentic but are trying to create a shallow version of representation on screen." I thought that was super important, as it's hard to find a real representation that feels real and is conveyed so beautifully. throughout, there were all these little moments that help you realize the meaning of the film, and it's almost like you're going through Owen's journey of self discovery with him. it's beautiful.

speaking of beautiful, the cinematography! oh my god! so so many beautiful scenes. the color schemes throughout were also so beautiful. seriously, the entire film i was so so intrigued. i honestly wish i knew more about cinematography so i could give a better review, but all i can say is that it was truly stunning, and a wonderful experience to watch throughout. a24 films are always so interesting in terms of cinematography, which i think they're pretty well known for. overall, was super pleased.

i think most a24 horror-themed films (from what i've seen), start off sort of slow and then bam! everything just blooms and it's so wonderfully executed.

okay, so i think i've rambled enough... overall i genuinely enjoyed this film so much and i'd love to watch it again whenever it's released on streaming sites. truly an experience, honestly a 10/10 film in my book! okay ramble over! tysm if you stuck around to this point <3

btw, my letterboxd is fairybenz if you'd like to add me there, i'm trying to be more active!!

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Hey... Do you know the song sung by the voice actor from the pilot Hazbin Hotel? Called Thank you and goodnight. Weirdly this song reminds me of Mystic Messenger, despite being a new fan and having been into this game until this year 2024 I already felt a connection, seeing old posts about this game from an old fan somehow makes me tear up. Despite I'm a fan of 2024, I somehow feel nostalgic about this game despite never actually experience it before

Yes!!!! I remember I teared up so much from that song.

Honestly mystic messenger is such a beautiful game! It helped me (ironically???) when I was struggling so much. I remember when I wrote my first HC in here, honestly I’d never thought I’d end up meeting so many amazing people! It’s truly beautiful how a piece of media can unite everyone and have people create amazing works of art and writing and music and everything!

I’m so glad you found the game, even if it’s late! It’s a great story, with lovable characters that even though it’s been like…omg 8?! EIGHT YEARS?!?!? (Hold on time related crisis happening rn)

Since it’s release, people still have a spot for them in their hearts!

Mystic messenger and this blog, really helped me start writing! And while I got a huge writers block and am now on different fandoms, it’s still a wonderful game that I’m glad people are still enjoying and playing! I feel so lucky for those who get to experience that wild rollercoaster for the first time!

I remember the alarms, the laughter from Seven or Jumin’s messages, the tears from the heart wrenching parts of the story, the confusion as to why the MC didn’t have eyes and why they didn’t leave WHEN THERE WAS A BOMB IN THE APARTMENT!

The gasps at the reveals, the plot twists! The way you would hear the music and immediately be teleported to that game, how the strings and piano would make you feel so much happiness and as if you were flying, only to then have the super dramatic music come and and BAM you feel your heart race and you keep worrying if your favorite character is going to be ok, and WHAT IS HAPPENING I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DATING GAME?!?

Getting to feel what the characters feel, feeling part of the story. Ironically though the game already has pre made choices you do feel as if it’s you or your character talking to them.

It’s been a few years since I’ve actually had MM in my phone. I actually remember the first time I downloaded it- it had just come out, and my dumbass thought you could actually SPEAK to them?!? So I remember Zen calling and me going “hello..?” In a whisper since it was night and everyone else was sleeping lmao.

I remember how I’d take full advantage of spring break and all those vacations from school to just grind the fuck out of those hourglasses to get to that Saeran route because by god I was dating that man.

I was pretty lucky bc I remember I did the Zen route first, didn’t even finish it 💀 uninstalled the game, and like a year later got in when they were celebrating a TON of stuff, I don’t remember exactly what it was but I got a lot of hourglasses and immediately went to date Seven lol.

Doing his as your official first route is….💀💀💀💀

I was FLABBERGASTED.

And it’s funny to see how over the years my faves have changed. (I used to have Seven as my #1 until I went the Julian route and OMG THAT MAN I’m sorry Seven I love you so much but…JUMIN HAN)

Anyway sorry for the long ass rant. Mystic messenger has such a special place in my heart, truly. It makes me remember how I got started writing- how through it i met so many lovely people- and while later due to personal reasons I wasn’t able to continue on the scene- I’m glad I got to experience some of it.

And there’s still people that make beautiful content of it! So don’t worry about joining now, feel free to read and see as many things of the fake as you want. Cry and laugh and enjoy everything about this wonderful and silly chat game and the incredible beautiful community it left behind!

Sorry for getting emotional haha, mystic messenger sure is something huh?

I’m a bit busy nowadays but every once in a while I get the urge to play it again haha. I have the ost saved in my study playlist and was in the middle of studying for a test when I hears Jumin’s night theme and the way I TEARED UP? Like I had to low key take a breather because omg I was transported back to those sleepless nights of giggling in my bed while flirting with a 2d man obsessed with his cat pfttt.

What’s funny is that every once in a while I want to install the game again and play it. Sadly I don’t have any time right now, but, I eventually want to have two weeks where I get to see my beautiful and wonderful husbands and wives again 🫶

Keep enjoying the content! I’m so happy you were able to find this precious gem, even in 2024! Play the heck out of it (tho please take a break after each route and keep hydrated or you’ll end up like Saeran 💀😭) !

PS:

You talking about thank you and goodnight reminded me of a series RosMo made about MM.

It’s interactive, after each video I believe you get a google doc and you have to figure some the YouTube links and get a goodbye message from the characters. If you want to cry and have a crack at it (if it’s too hard the comments help a lot I believe) you can see it here! Just be careful of spoilers for all the routes mkay!

Have fun on your Mysme journey! ❤️💜🩷🩵🧡🤍💚💛🤎🚀✨🐱☕️👾🎭📷🍵🧹

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

With the three dcla shows I've seen, S2 has been my favorite for every show but due to different reasons.

Season 2 of Violetta is due to me associating it with so much positive memories. I remember being 11 and be SO EXCITED for the new season. Because it came out a year later where I live, so I felt so happy to finally be up to date with the rest of the world. And there is just this HAPPY vibe to it all around, especially in the first 10 episodes. The sun is CONSTANTLY shining, the colors are so BRIGHT, I feel so... euphoric. Nothing is like season 2. The drama, the writing, the SONGS... aaa!

Season 2 of Soy Luna is due to it being so UNHINGED. Season 1 was like a. pretty normal show still. Some drama, some mysteries, some of this and that, it was fun. Then comes season 2 and BAM Sharon finds out Luna is Sol Benson BAM there's a masquerade BAM Ámbar burns down Jam and Roller BAM Ámbar gets gaslighted into thinking she's Sol Benson by Sharon while Luna is starting to investigate her own past BAM they are about to lose Jam and Roller and Luna also tries to be a leader for the team because she as a FUCKING 16 YEAR OLD got this responsibility and everyone is bailing and she just tries to keep it together but she's also so YOUNG and it's overwhelming... And then you realize you have only watched roughly 20 episodes and there is 60 EPISODES LEFT OF THE SEASON.

Season 2 of Bia because, honestly, for me season 1 was a chore to get through. I know many people say this about Violetta and I get that, but since I was so young when I saw Violetta for the first time I've seen S1 so many times it's not something I think of. But with Bia... I just struggled so hard with S1, and if I ever rewatch it then maybe it'll be easier (I will once they release it here, cause I don't have a vpn rn and they HAVE subtitles in my language so wtf are they waiting for), but I remember feeling like season 2 had so much more... action in it. I got into the show much more in season 2.

[project1939]

200 Films of 1952

Film number 153: Loan Shark

Release date: May 23rd, 1952 

Studio: Lippert Pictures 

Genre: noir 

Director: Seymour Friedman 

Producer: Bernard Luber 

Actors: George Raft, Dorothy Hart, Paul Stewart  

Plot summary: An ex-con agrees to go undercover to stop a group of loan sharks from destroying a tire manufacturer’s workforce.  

My rating (out of 5 stars): **½  

Here’s a perfect example of a cheap noir with lots of good elements that somehow manages to feel like a parody. One moment it was doing something pretty cool, and the next I felt like I was watching a Leslie Nielson comedy. Much of the blame for it, I’m sorry to say, lies with George Raft. When I did Project 1939 I thought he was dreamy in those Warner Brothers gangster flicks, but here? To say he was wooden would be an understatement! (Spoilers) 

The Good: 

The style of the film was its greatest asset- it was classic noir up and down. The grit, the darkness, the contrasts, the use of sound... I loved it all. 

The opening scene was A+ noir- a terrorized man is chased through dark empty city streets in the middle of the night. All we hear is the clicking of his shoes as he tries to run away, followed by the clicking of the shoes of the thugs following him. They finally corner him in an alley, and an almost cartoonish fight scene follows. 

Paul Stewart as Lou, one of the bad guys. He’s so good at being creepy! His eyes give some truly scary foreboding looks, and his suavely snakish demeanor only increases the unease when he’s in the room. 

There was some entertaining cheesy dialogue. “Turn off the chill, baby!” “You’re quick tempered and I’m not a bit scared.” “Just the top burner is on, but the oven’s still warm.”  

I liked Dorothy Hart as the female lead. She was sexy with a hint of strength about her. She wasn’t an outstanding actress, but she was more than passable. She looked like Ethel Barrymore next to Raft! 

Hey, it’s the Professor from Gilligan’s Island! He played one of the factory workers under suspicion. 

The Bad: 

The romance part of the story! It was so awkward and unbelievable, I kept writing “ew!” in my notes. So a drop-dead gorgeous woman in her twenties sees a pudgy 59-year-old, finds out he just got out of prison for a violent crime, and her instant response is “Yum! I gotta get me some of that!” Then he nearly sexually assaults her, and she’s like, “No biggie, baby, come back!” Raft and Hart had little chemistry, which just made everything worse. The whole thing made no sense. 

George Raft. I like the guy; he was the main reason I decided to watch this movie, but he was comically bad as a tough talkin’ hardboiled hero. Gangster movies were his bread and butter in the 1930s, so I don’t know why it didn't work here. 

Raft's sexual aggressivity. Sometimes it was funny and oh so noir, but mostly it was just gross and off-putting. 

Most of it was fairly predictable. They completely telegraphed who all the bad guys were. 

The death of Ed was paced all wrong, and it zapped the emotional impact right out of it. 

I didn’t always understand why Joe was supposed to be such a hero when the morality of setting loan sharks loose on housewives and beating up the innocent brother of your girlfriend was highly questionable. 

The ham-fisted attempts at moralizing were a little much. 

The ending! Part of it was hysterical noir at its best and part of it was just silly.

The fight scenes were also unintentionally funny. I almost expected to see cartoon bubbles of "Pow!" and "Bam!" come on the screen. The paunchy middle aged Raft also clearly had a superman body double!

[hollymbryan]

Blog Tour + #Review: KILT TRIP by Alexandra Kiley!

Welcome to Book-Keeping and my stop on the HTP Books in-house blog tour for Kilt Trip by Alexandra Kiley! I've got all the details for you below, along with my review!

About the Book

title: Kilt Trip author: Alexandra Kiley publisher: Canary Street Press release date: 5 March 2024

For fans of Emily Henry and Sarah Morgenthaler comes a brand-new Scotland-set romantic comedy. In this enemies-to-lovers romance, one woman discovers more than the just the magic of the heartland's lochs and landscapes—but not before clashing with the proud Scotsman she's forced to work with. Addie Macrae has always followed her wanderlust. As a travel consultant, she turns struggling businesses into world-class tour groups. Her job comes with the perk of jetsetting around the globe, which means never being in one place for too long—just the way she likes it. Since her mom passed away ten years ago and her father never stopped grieving, no place has felt like home anyway. But when she’s sent on assignment to help a family-run tour group in Scotland—the one place she swore she’d never go—Addie has to shed her emotional baggage and turn on the professional charm. Logan Sutherland’s family business is operating just fine, thank you very much. The Heart of the Highlands was never meant to make the family rich, rather to teach sightseers to appreciate the beauty of Scotland’s hidden gems, which are more captivating than any tourist trap. The last thing Logan wants is some American "expert" pushing Outlander-themed tours and perpetuating myths about the Loch Ness Monster. And for a travel consultant, Addie oddly doesn’t seem interested in learning about the land Logan loves. Equally put off by each other, the new colleagues clash on every company decision. Then Logan discovers Addie does have a personal connection to Scotland—it was her late mother’s favorite place, one that now lives on in a handful of faded Polaroids Addie kept from her parents’ Honeymoon. She wants to seek out the places in the pictures, but is worried that she's too late to capture the wonder of following in her mother's footsteps. Logan is convinced he can help Addie get some closure, and the two realize, when they agree, they actually work pretty well together.  But Addie’s contract with The Heart is almost up, and the business is still losing money. They can’t afford distractions, but there’s no denying the intense chemistry between Addie and Logan. Besides, how can Addie do her job properly if she hasn’t explored all Scotland has to offer?

Add to Goodreads: Kilt Trip Purchase the Book: Bookshop | B&N | BAM | Amazon

About the Author

Alexandra Kiley writes big-hearted romances full of banter, found-family, and deep love. When she’s not writing, you can find her drinking tea, hiking, or gazing adoringly at the mountains of Colorado where she lives with her husband and two kids. Her novels are inspired by her semester in Scotland where she fell in love with not only the lush and magical land, but also the people who invited her into their homes and made her feel like family.

Connect with Alexandra: Website | Twitter | Instagram

My 5-Star Review

I desperately want to visit Scotland and have since I was younger. Outlander is one of my faves - I read the books as they came out (yes I'm old lol) and I adore the show - and I watched so many Hallmark Christmas movies set in Scotland 🙈 So when I heard about Kilt Trip and the chance to be part of the street team for Alexandra Kiley, I jumped at the chance! American travel company consultant travels to Scotland and meets hot tour guide in a kilt?? Sign me the eff up! 😂

I'm so happy to have been able to read an early copy of this delightful romance. I laughed, I swooned, I cried - literally every emotion ran through my body reading this book! There are some open door scenes, but they are relatively mild, what we used to call "tasteful" (even though it's not my favorite way to describe it). Logan was gaaaahhhhh just gorgeous and swoon worthy!! 😍 I absolutely loved him from jump. Addie is a strong woman, my word she is stubborn, but she's carrying so much grief with her and she's been so hurt that she has walls up for days. Logan may just be the one who can finally do that! Plus there's an amazing family, snooty sheep, adorable hairy coos, and so. Many. Kilts.

Any fan of romance needs to read this one, it's an absolute delight (even when I was crying - thanks Alexandra) and I want everyone to read it and then gush with me about it! Thanks again, Alexandra, for having me on the team!

Rating: 5 Stars!

**Disclosure: I received an early e-copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley for purposes of this blog tour.

[lsttcs]

The storm was all the talk all over. Bringing terrible winds by nightfall. The tree behind their house was definitely ill and weak. The storm couldn’t find, perlapse it reconsidered it’s structure’s last dime, built by a lass, at least, as gift, and certain the overbare to not fall nor detract, when games and chivalry, as these storms would smack. If lost by denizen, to when and cost of a number, still aparcel quantalized, moving shag vessle spider as unit as neat, as neat as unkempt, as hoarding in magno propulsion should ever never shipside no court vessel. Hang long, dad joke culinary, makeshift in the rope, long hangs spider money, long hangs artifact, tone in cut, long sag morrowly. Last repulse of cutter gem craft not in ear of wick stone idle five tantra nome and five lugs behind to eat up and quick be respiratory known, the scholar craft or hunch lore. So vestige a salt air, same hands chain rang, all medalion lane, set crust so fair. 

A chap a lot of, rests small, same buckle shacks, lack of the rivet long you sir, dangles of paths, grafts on the locks. Lot of that. Same lop that ate med lot notes up so ate med notes lop side flop sure. A real yarn? No but same jot that same bat is get toward and same year date hits butter bam and serge metaloid steering at that ram and it’s all but two be done between utensils and what any or none see fit in man. So the likely yarn and worn of them. So jannters out smoke belly from all twood near, yester losses slowly only taft ear. So lakes and shandy bake em. Taking our rakes and frequently restake them!

Tom Boy antler at the sod nodding chance friend and then a few more. That’s why we delt year herbice, no longer our tabe or felt lawn. We squash around. We squash around some more more. Going to reach through the rear done. Help, you so forth, a hallier so sour. At least to doom while our selctions take the nine nord straight from all coke and no accused, no forth men, no storm led red toolbit. At last sworn we take rips and then we let low our fatter warren. Just half ub’s to straights sow though we’re riding at nero. There’s no taft that’d make us pallor than. Our retcrab runs pelish zinc.

So why you e bay the crew barbs and oscile the street garb it’s denzing time san the rich craft. It’s so lang lost it’s speech herm. It’s running lost last langaroose like the top men all fell out of the witch hand and fell the trolly reverb amb, last dillicute, ate no hen but ten opals said it’s the sink forth. Sink forth scamps like lite. Eats ell of it. Recruitter dying, save my life! It’s only ambles an. Not your common man. Skinkdrift the fastest, all tonsages’ flung. Laugh fast. The field around the house is hit with an artillery of asymmetrical lightning strikes. The earth lit’s up a private match glow, then charges, and releases the might of a storm that would end all in site should it befall you. Ends the tree. Falls right on it.

[bleach-boyz]

Chapter 5: Haggard

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In late 2002, Jackass: The Movie was released to monumental success, and the whole cast became full-blown celebrities. Audiences loved it, and its popularity led to each cast and crew member getting lots of recognition and a huge check. This was the first time you felt not only creatively satisfied but financially satisfied by a project you worked on. The entire experience truly felt like a gift. 

As a member of the crew, you were able to go to all the promotional events and parties the cast were invited to, which meant you got to meet and party with countless famous people. 

The partying had definitely been taken to the next level in terms of how fucked up everyone would get. You’d occasionally take part in some pills or other drugs that were offered to you, but mainly you stuck to just drinking. You definitely couldn’t keep up with Steve-O or Pontius for very long at a Hollywood party, but you’d stay on pace with people like Ryan or Knoxville. 

Truly, your lives had never been more crazy, but with Bam, there was always another project to work on. Even while you were working on Jackass, he’d been insisting you still pump out new CKY films, the fourth of which was released only a month after the Jackass movie. He was an extremely ambitious force, which you admired, but it meant there was rarely a break from the chaotic lifestyle you’d all adopted. 

Earlier in 2002, while Jackass: The Movie and CKY 4 were in post-production, waiting to be released, Bam had come to you with his idea for the movie Haggard, which he’d started writing recently. He wanted you to work closely with Joe Frantz, basically just being another assistant director like you were for the Jackass movie. You agreed, but there was one aspect that made you hesitant to be involved. 

The film was about Ryan Dunn’s relationships. 

After your dramatic acceptance of your feelings towards Ryan that night in Tokyo, you had been avoiding spending too much alone time with him for your own sanity. Although his breakup had actually stuck this time, he definitely still needed space to figure himself out and move past it all. You hoped that’s what Haggard would do: let him release all his frustration and finally walk away. 

Still, you two continued to be around each other constantly with all these projects you were working on, and Ryan kept confiding in you with his feelings about the breakup when he could get you alone. He still looked to you as his friend and someone to lean on, and even though the platonic nature of your relationship pained you, you couldn’t deny him what he needed. 

You’d resolved for your feelings to remain unrequited, at least till the end of shooting for Haggard. It was borderline masochistic on your end, but you felt a responsibility to your friends and coworkers to make sure there was no interpersonal drama or complication. You’ll reassess whether or not it’s time to say something once the film is done. 

Filming in West Chester for Haggard was a bit complicated sometimes. The director and star of the film were now super famous and in high demand, and Bam, in particular, was always having to fly out at the last minute for random appearances and projects. The constant stopping and starting was annoying to you since you were the one having to make the shooting schedule. You had a late June release date in 2003, so you were working overtime to plan everything out. Really, all you could do was make sure you filmed as much as possible when everyone was in town. 

There were some particular scenes that you weren’t looking forward to filming—those being between Ryan and his new love interest, “Heather”. For obvious reasons, helping direct and film your crush being intimate with someone else would be difficult for you, and you were especially insecure about it because Jenn had asked a really attractive friend of hers to play the role. 

Jenn actually found out about your crush on Ryan during a drunken confession one night when you two were out alone. You’d sworn her to secrecy, and as far as you knew, she hadn’t told Bam. She would often encourage you to make a move or tell him your feelings, but you insisted that it wait. 

The only other person who knew about your feelings for Ryan besides Jenn was Dico. You hadn’t intended on telling him either, but after living with someone for so many years, you’re able to pick up on subtle changes to their usual behavior. He’d noticed the way you avoided taking smoke breaks with Ryan as often and how you’d make sure when you all went to bars or restaurants you weren’t ever sitting next to him. At first, Dico thought something had happened to make you dislike Ryan, but after an interrogation, you just decided to tell him. You also swore him to secrecy, and although it didn’t seem like it had gotten out yet, neither Jenn nor Dico were historically good at keeping anything quiet for too long. You were anxiously awaiting the day Bam or Raab would bring your crush up publicly to embarrass you. 

The first night you were scheduled to shoot with Ryan’s love interest “Heather”, you were shooting in a local bar that had agreed to let you film for an hour. All you really needed was some b-roll of the two being lovey-dovey to establish the budding romance. 

-

"Well, where the fuck is she?” Bam asks Jenn as she comes inside after calling her friend. We are all set up to film, but the girl who’s supposed to play Heather is nowhere to be seen. 

“She’s not coming.” Jenn says. 

“What do you mean she’s not coming? Why not?” Bam asks, annoyed. You can tell he’s starting to get a bit cranky, like he usually does at the end of a long day of shooting. Jenn rolls her eyes. 

“I don’t know what to tell you. She said her boyfriend got skeeved out at the last second about her making out with some random guy, and he won’t let her do it.” Jenn says, and you furrow your eyebrows. 

“Well, what are we gonna do? Frantz and I are getting on a plane tomorrow to shoot the HIM video, and we only have the bar today for like 45 more minutes.” Bam states. 

“We’ll just get someone else here to do it.” Jenn says and looks over at you suggestively. Bam notices this, and your eyes widen. No way did she mean you. This had to be a joke.

“You don’t have any other hot friends who could get here quick?” Bam asks Jenn.

“Not quick enough. Also, most of them already said no when I was asking around for someone to play the part in the first place.” Jenn responds, and Bam pouts and grabs the shooting schedule for the rest of the month from Joe. This is supposed to be the last month of filming, and every day Bam is going to be in town, we have something else lined up. 

“It would be best to find a way to do it now. It was already a bitch getting the owner to allow us this time today; we’d have to find another day he’s okay with, and I doubt he’d give us a time that would fit into our current schedule. We’d have to rearrange things, and we’re already running behind given our release date.” Joe explains. Bam sighs grumpily. 

“This is the best option; it’ll be great.” Jenn says, smiling at you. You suddenly remember what the conversation is about, and you start sweating and shaking your head. 

“Well, alright, fine.” Bam says as he scans you up and down. “You’ll need a different shirt, but I guess it’ll work. Jenn, you two switch shirts.” He says. You look down at your shirt, which is an oversized WaWa t-shirt. Bam would have to blur out a logo like that in post. 

“Wait! I don’t know if this is such a good idea." You finally get some words of objection out. You aren’t an actor! And there's no way you’ll be able to keep your cool playing Ryan’s love interest. 

“I don’t want you to do it either, but do you see any other chicks here?” Bam asks, and you look around. Nothing but dudes. Fuck. 

“Can I talk to you in the bathroom?” You ask Jenn and grab her arm before she can answer. You two walk through the bathroom door, and you cross your arms. 

“What the hell was that?” You ask, and Jenn throws her arms up in defense. 

“What?” 

“Your friend doesn’t even have a boyfriend.” You say, and Jenn smirks. 

“Yeah, but I thought I’d help you out with your little crush.” She says. 

“How is this gonna help me?” You ask, rubbing your face with your hands. 

“Well, you two can finally kiss and be intimate, which is what YOU want. And Ryan will totally be into it and realize how horny he is for you, and if he’s not lame, he’ll ask you out or whatever.” She explains. 

“That’s very optimistic... Also, we’re shooting a movie; none of it will be genuine.” You say. 

“Who cares?”

“I don’t know Jenn,” you start, and then hear a pounding at the door. 

"Cmon, we’re running out of time!” Bam yells from the other side. 

“Look, if you really don’t wanna do it, then you can go tell everyone out there I lied, but I think you should just get over it and see what happens.” Jenn says.  

You sigh. You know that, feelings for Ryan aside, you are the only option if you all want to keep this film on schedule. That commitment and responsibility would have been enough to make you agree without thinking, had your scene partner been anyone else. That fact that it’s Ryan, though, makes you incredibly nervous and hesitant. You are mainly afraid you’ll somehow, through acting, reveal your true feelings and embarrass yourself. However, you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t anything exciting about the situation. Jenn is right; you do desperately want to kiss and be intimate with him, and you are compelled to just take what you can get, regardless of how “real” it will be. 

Knowing you need to make a decision, you finally cave and take your top off. “Give me your shirt.” 

When you two walk out of the bathroom, you spot Ryan wearing an eyepatch and sitting on a bar stool at a small table in the back of the bar. You could only reserve the back section for shooting, so there are a few random customers milling about, mostly paying no mind to the camera.

You feel very self-conscious, as already a few men are eyeing you. Jenn is smaller than you, so her black top fits you very tightly. Additionally, it’s pretty low-cut, leaving you showing off more cleavage than you usually do in public. You haven’t been exceedingly insecure about your body since high school, but you still feel most comfortable in oversized t-shirts and sweaters. A lot of the time, you get jealous looking at women like Jenn, who wear a lot more feminine and fitted clothing, because you don’t think you have the confidence and body to pull off wearing anything similar. Right now, this self-consciousness is only exacerbating your feelings of anxiety over the entire situation. You cross your arms in front of your chest and nervously walk over to where Ryan is sitting. When you arrive, he looks up at you and smiles. 

“Are you okay with me filling in?” You ask, making sure he isn’t uncomfortable with the idea. 

“Oh yeah, it’s chill; I don’t mind.” He says. 

You sigh, relieved, and drop your arms as Bam heads over to you.  

“I should make you two switch shirts more often.” He says, and you roll your eyes and maybe catch Ryan checking you out in the process. That gives you the tiniest boost of confidence, and you sit down on the stool across from Ryan. You take a sip of the beer that has been sitting on the table. 

“Just tell me what I have to do again.” You say, feigning annoyance when really all you can feel is unease. 

“All I need is like a few minutes of footage of you two being flirty and talking and kissing or whatever. I’ll speed it up in post and throw a song over it, so it doesn’t really matter what you say. You just need to seem into each other. Try not to look awkward.” He says and directs that last part to you. 

“I’ll do my best.” You say sarcastically and look over at Ryan. His face is unreadable. 

Bam walks back behind the camera, and the two of you are left staring at each other. You want to say something—maybe crack a joke to diffuse the tension—but you can’t. 

“I hope this isn’t too weird for you.” He finally says, and you take a deep breath. 

"Well, is it weird for you?” 

Before he can answer you, Bam calls action. 

It’s not quiet, due to the commotion happening in the other parts of the bar, but all of that feels incredibly distant. You somehow manage to keep your eyes on Ryan, lean in, and put your elbows down on the table to prop your head up with your hands. 

Ryan takes this as his sign to move closer, and you feel his legs intertwine with yours under the table. He lights a cigarette. 

“I don’t know what to say," Ryan says as he takes a puff. 

“Me neither.” You say and observe Ryan’s body language. He is leaning in, but his speech and his face make him seem a bit timid now. He’s nervous, maybe. He is playing with his cigarette in his hand, and you can feel his leg shaking under the table. He doesn’t look uncomfortable necessarily; he's just a little lost on what to do and antsy. This display diminishes a lot of the intimidation you were feeling, and you realize that you need to take the lead. 

You lean forward even more and grab Ryan’s free hand with yours. He looks down at this and then back up at you. 

“Just be normal. Act like I’m a girl you really like.” You say, trying to focus him in for the sake of footage but also pining for his attention. You two had never really been in a position like this, and you’d spent the last few months so needy for his touch that you don’t care if your friends are watching and filming you now. You want him badly. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Joe bring another camera over to film from a different angle. You look at him for a second before Ryan lets go of your hand and grabs your chin to focus your eyes back towards him. You feel your face burning up; you’re wearing makeup today, though, so hopefully the redness doesn’t show. 

Ryan tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear and offers you the cigarette he’s smoking. You try to keep your hand steady as you grab it and take a puff, never letting your eyes leave Ryan. You hand it back to him, and his other hand goes back to holding yours. You look down and think about how big his hands are compared to yours. 

“What are you thinking about?” Ryan asks, and you look back up at him. His energy shifted entirely after what you said, and now everything about him is dripping with confidence and flirtation. You don’t know if he’s just a good actor or if there may be something real to it, but you are absolutely not in a position to complain. You decide if he’s going to turn it up, you might as well go for it too. The fact that you can hide your real feelings behind the pretense of acting drives you to take your chance and be as forward as you like. 

“Your hands are big.” You say, playing with his hand. 

“Yeah?” He says and watches you, amused. 

“Also,” you begin, eyeing him coyly, “it’s probably time for you to kiss me.” He raises his eyebrows. You have a tiny moment of regret, afraid you might have made Ryan uncomfortable, but soon after, he’s smirking and leaning in. You hold your breath and lean in too. 

It’s just a peck, but as he pulls away from you, you can’t help smiling. It was innocent and only lasted a second, but you can’t help feeling so happy. You know you may be giving yourself away, but Ryan’s face surprisingly reads just as content as yours. Before you can say anything, he’s leaning in again to give you another quick peck. When your lips touch, your heart skips a beat, and when he pulls back, you feel all giddy. 

You think you hear Ryan say “cute” under his breath before he takes another drag of his cigarette. Soon after, Bam calls cut, and you’re brought back to reality. 

“Good, now I wanna get some more footage of you guys standing up over here.” Bam points next to the pool table. 

You wait for Ryan to get up before moving yourself. You follow behind him to where Bam had pointed. You try to regain composure and not think too much about the fact that you just kissed your crush for the first time. Well, the first two times in fact. 

You and Ryan stand opposite of each other as Joe sets up the cameras. 

“Having fun?” Ryan asks you, and you let out a pained laugh. You resent the fact that he can stay so calm during this. 

“It’s alright.” You say and he grins. He’s being so cheeky, and it’s impossible to tell if he’s enjoying being intimate with you or if he’s just entertained by the whole situation. 

“Alright, ready to go.” Joe says, and soon after, Bam is calling action again. 

Ryan immediately grabs your waist and pulls your body closer to his. You feel weak over how close your bodies are and grab Ryan’s hand to steady yourself. 

Being affectionate with Ryan makes you painfully aware of how much you miss being this close to someone. All this time, you’ve been yearning for Ryan, but above that, you yearn for someone to hold you, a companion, someone who desires you as much as you desire them. Behaving like this warms you up inside. Ryan kisses you on the forehead, and you swear you’re about to melt. 

You stay close like this for only about a minute before Bam yells cut again. It takes you a little longer than last time to snap out of it and let go of Ryan. When you finally do and take a step back, you feel cold. 

"Alright, we just need to get some more interior and exterior b-roll of the bar, but you guys don’t have to be in that. We’ll meet you back over at Ryan’s for the sex scene.” Joe says, and you freeze. 

“Sex scene?!” You ask frantically. You don’t remember ever talking about that. 

“It’s not really a sex scene; we just need some footage of you guys making out for the end when we show all the couples getting together.” Joe explains, and now you remember. 

It’s one thing to do cutesy flirting and tiny kisses with Ryan; it’s another to put yourself in a compromising position and fully make out with him. When you agreed to step in and play the part earlier, it totally slipped your mind that you would not only have to film the bar scenes, you’d have to film all of them. 

“Do we really have to?” You ask for your own sake and catch Ryan raising a quizzical eyebrow at you. You realize that he’d known this whole time that he’d have to make out with you, yet hadn’t shown any concern about it.

Of course, you’ve imagined making out and even having sex with Ryan. Late at night, you’d often fantasize about different scenarios that would lead to the two of you being physically intimate. Needless to say, the situation unfolding right now is not at all similar to any of your past fantasies, and you really have no idea what to expect from Ryan. All you know is that the chances of you keeping your composure are slim to none. 

“Every romance movie needs an obligatory sex montage. Keeps the dudes interested.” Bam states. 

“This is a romance movie?” You ask. 

“Look, just drive over there; we’ll meet you.” He says, and you make eye contact with Jenn across the room. You signal for her to come with you and you make her get in your car with you.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do here, Jenn. You gotta help me.” You say as you two sit inside your car, still parked outside the bar. 

“You’re doing great; you two looked so cute.” She says as she adjusts the rear view mirror to look at herself. 

“This whole thing is so weird. It’s gonna freak him out if he finds out I actually like him.” You groan. 

"No, it won’t. I swear he looked really into you in there. And Ryan is definitely not a good enough actor to fake something like that. If anything, he’s probably gonna pop a boner when you make out later.” She jokes, and you throw your head back against the seat. 

“Jenn,” you start, and then hear someone knock on your window. The sound surprises you, and you jolt forward, only to see it was Ryan. You roll your window down. 

"Sorry, you know how to get to my apartment, right?” He asks. 

“We’ll just follow you.” Jenn responds, and Ryan nods and leaves. You roll your window back up and start your car. 

“I’m gonna be sick.” You say as your nerves travel from your chest to your stomach. 

“It’ll be hot.” Jenn says and smiles mischievously at you. 

You get back to Ryan's, and it’s just you, him, Jenn, and Ryan’s roommate Justin for a little while. 

While you wait for the others to show up, you all have a couple beers and a casual conversation. You feel awkward because all you can think about is what comes next, so you hardly say anything, just listen. Jenn tries to get up at one point, but you grab her leg and make her stay by your side. You catch Ryan eyeing you periodically, but do your best to ignore it. You have to focus all your energy on attempting to appear normal. 

When Bam and Joe finally arrive, you’re a few beers deep and feeling slightly more relaxed. As they set up the camera, Jenn comes up beside you and offers a mint. 

“Funny.” You say sarcastically but still grab one. 

“Don’t worry, I gave Ryan one too.” She laughs. 

They set up the camera in Justin’s room because Ryan sleeps on a mattress on the floor in the basement. You feel a little weird about making out on a random dude's bed while he’s in the building, but he assures you it’s fine. 

You and Ryan enter the bedroom, and it’s about as quiet and weird as you expected it to be. 

"Okay, so I guess just lay down and both of you take your shirt off." Bam starts, and your heart thumps louder than you’ve ever heard it thump before. You look over at Ryan, who is already taking his shirt off, and you slowly start to do the same. You try to tell yourself that it’s no different than going to the pool, as you are left in just a bra on your top half. You then go to lay down on the bed and watch as Ryan comes up beside you and stares down at you. You shiver and avert your eyes. 

"Alright, now I know this is kinda weird or whatever, but I just need you guys to make out for about a minute. The camera is gonna be really close to your faces, but try to ignore it; definitely don’t look at it. I’m gonna start rolling now, so just go whenever.” Bam instructs. 

You look out at Bam and Joe right up on you, and Jenn is watching from the doorway. Your breathing increases, and you feel your face warm up at how tense and uncomfortable the atmosphere is. You then feel the pressure of the bed shift as Ryan starts climbing on top of you, caging you in. 

“Are you okay?” He asks as he holds himself over top of you. 

Are you okay? Well, no, you’re not. At no point throughout this whole process have you been okay. You’ve only been able to get through so far by focusing on your feelings of responsibility and desire. You felt responsible to keep the film schedule on track, to help your friends when a problem arose, and to fix it. And you felt desire—the desire to touch Ryan, to be with him no matter the circumstance. It’s clear now, as you look at him over top of you, which of these two feelings is starting to take over again. 

Ryan’s face reads as protective and eager while he waits for your answer. You can tell he’s concerned about your comfortability in this moment, but you see an unbridled hunger in his eyes, like he could pounce any second. This look sends a surge of lust through you, and suddenly everyone else in the room falls away in your mind. 

You reach out and grab Ryan’s face, pulling him down and connecting your lips into a kiss. There’s a half-second of surprise from his end before he’s kissing back with fervor, supporting his weight with one hand, and holding your face with the other. 

You try to keep up as he takes control over the situation, forcefully slipping his tongue into your mouth. He kisses you like he needs it to live, and his passion and dominance does nothing but turn you on. 

You tangle your fingers in his hair and let one of your hands travel down his back. Ryan’s body rocks back and forth, causing your crotches to graze over each other ever so slightly. You almost whine, wanting more friction, but suppress it and kiss him back with even more neediness. 

At some point, he starts kissing your neck, and your head starts spinning. He sucks on your skin ever so slightly, and you can’t help this time from letting out a small moan. He stops what he’s doing and looks at you ardently, clearly excited by the noise you just made. You blush and just pull his head back up to keep kissing you. 

After a few more moments, you hear Bam yell cut, but it feels far away. You somehow manage to snap out of your daze and pull your lips away from Ryan, opening your eyes and seeing all the others in the room staring at you two. 

You, feeling suddenly embarrassed by how taken away you got, push Ryan off of you. He looks just as out of it and goes to sit on the end of the bed. 

“Jesus Christ you guys.” Bam says teasingly. 

“Are we good?” You ask bashfully as you sit up. 

“Yeah, good work.” He says, still poking fun at you, and you get up, put on your shirt, and leave the room. Jenn follows you out to the kitchen, and you let out a huge breath you didn’t know you were holding in. 

“That was crazy.” She says, and you shush her, afraid the others might hear. 

"Sorry, it’s just that he’s definitely into you.” Jenn whispers. 

Up until now, you wouldn’t have believed that, but what just happened in that room had you rethinking a lot of things. Ryan had come at you with such force and need that you didn’t see how it could be fake. All this time, you’ve thought your crush was hopeless and that Ryan would only ever be able to see you as his friend. Now, you weren’t sure what to think. You know that your behavior exposed your own feelings, though, and you definitely don't want to know anyone's opinion on it right now.

Ryan, Bam, and Joe walk out of the bedroom, and Ryan looks distracted. Bam and Joe seem to be laughing to each other about something, likely what just occurred. 

Part of you wants to talk to Ryan about what happened, and part of you wants to take him back into the bedroom and continue it. Your thoughts feel too scattered to be able to speak coherently, though, and you can’t shed how flustered you feel having been filmed getting so carried away in front of your friends.

“I have to go cause, uh… well, Dico and I were gonna watch a movie, and uh… yeah.” You say, quickly wave, leave the room, and head out the front door before anyone can respond. 

You silently drive yourself back to your apartment, ignoring Dico once you get there and throwing yourself down on your bed. 

You check your cell phone and see a missed call from Jenn. You grunt and toss your phone on the floor. 

What did this all mean? That’s all you could ask yourself as you lay down in the dark. 

Ryan had clearly kissed you the way you’d kiss someone you liked. You couldn’t deny that. If he did like you, though, how long had he liked you? It can’t have been too long, seeing as he’s been so hung up on his ex. Had he just realized it today, as Jenn said he would? What does he want? To fuck? To date? Nothing? There are too many questions. 

You are adult enough to know there’s no way to get an answers without talking to Ryan directly, but god, that’s so scary. There’s always the chance that his behavior was just a momentary lapse of control. That he, having not been intimate with someone in a while, got carried away, and it had nothing to do with you being you. If that were the case, bringing it up might only make things awkward. 

Regardless of what his deal is, you’re now stuck playing his love interest in the movie. Luckily, there aren’t many other scenes you have to be in, and none of them are like the ones you did today. Nevertheless, you're dreading having to meet for those scenes now that you've made yourself so transparent, and you know you'll be unable to avoid any teasing from Bam and Joe.

You roll over on your back and stare at the ceiling. Even through all this worrying, you can’t help but crack a hopeful smile. 

Because maybe this is the start of something.

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Heyyyyy. It's been a second since my last chapter, so sorry about that. Things are moving hehe. Again I appreciate everyone reading, hopefully you like the way things are going. Finally gonna move into Viva La Bam era next chapter and we're gonna stay there for the rest of the story. Lmk if you wanna get tagged.

@arsonistsloth