#it feels. idk maybe i am getting close to the end ot my rope

[sophiethewitch1]

Sometimes when you're really ill and there's no cure for your disability and you look around and everyone in your life is so kind to you and trying to help you and genuinely believes that you can get better it feels. Almost isolating. Like I'm the only out there that knows the truth or something. I'm the only one who knows.

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

yO i was abt to write to you abt the new modc ep (what's going on with the weird cuts at the beginning jcbjfbjb im crying) but i saw your post so!!!! tell me abt your dream bro i wanna hear abt it!!!!!! -✨

OH I HAVENT SEEN IT YET RIGHT I FORGOT IT CAME OUT TODAY!!! Let me watch it then we can talk abt it !!

And well my dream is pp long so bear w me 😔 i don't have the 'read more' function on mobile so i apologise in advance for everyone who comes across this !! I'll edit the 'read more' into it when I can 😊 ( i hav edited it hehehehe )

SO . actually there are several parts to this dream and I woke up between the first two parts but ... YEA.

At first I was home but a cat had gotten inside my house, I already had two cats ( my current cat and the one that will have died one year ago exactly tomorrow... yes five days after my birthday december is a cursed month for me. but if u wanna know abt him just search 'tchoupi' on my blog ) and I don't think my girl was okay w that new cat ? also new cat looked wonky sjhsjsh ? I wasn't sure abt its behaviour bc it seemed like it cld get irritated fast. In the end my mother told me to throw it out so I did against my will but when I saw it walk away... it had a missing leg.... I was like oh shit dude no come back... so I went and opened the front door and it came back running !!! I couldn't leave it like that w/o food if it already was incapacitated in a way. so that was my new cat. everything ends well ( I'm pp sure I forgot a part of that part but it's not the one I'm interested in )

SECOND PART... THE CÅSTLË. i was in a castle that was more medieval than renaissance styled or whatever the fuck i didnt study architecture but yes this. it had a courtyard with a fountain and that courtyard had a beautiful view on The Unknown ( aka fields and forests and stuff yknow just. The view ) but there were also bridges ( not the rock kind the "we use it in movies to make a character dramatically fall after the villain cut the rope" kind ) and little paths to go to The Unknown. there was a built-in church ( not a christian but i guess that was a smart choice given most attendees were fire emblem characters and they were definitely christians ) and also stables i guess ? but the front stables were empty and i didn't get to see the actual stables. the front stables had a pathway going around them ( there was a front stable on the left and on the right, with the courtyard being a little pushed back ? like if you left the end of the stable pathway you were already past the courtyard )

so now picture all ot this but suddenly the sky is super dark and everything is grim and gloomy. like a typical halloween movie. everything that was neat feels now worn out and the pathways are definitely scary, nobody wants to go there !

i was looking for my friends ( aka mercedes from fire emblem three houses ) but somehow couldn't find them, a fight broke out between ingrid and annette ( also fire emblem three houses ) and i don't like rich horse girls nor do i like racists so i was about to beat ingrid's ass. this big dude comes in and threatens me so i scold him and he and ingrid both go away. i win. i talk to more people but they're all acting weird except annette i guess. whatever weirdos i'm out

next i keep looking, but now i'm not alone - i'm not sure of whether it's a real presence or just a spirit until the end of this sequence where this boy tells me where to go and what to do to fix things a little, so i go into both stable pathways and end up being possessed twice ( demonic possession isn't as bad as they tell you i turned out fine ) so when the boy tells me where to go next i'm like "are we getting possessed a third time ?" he chuckles. ( i am gay so that was cute )

but we don't get any time to do that third thing ! we get out of the pathways and everyone is planning to go fight whatever is beyond The Unknown ! i look at the boy and awake me now pictures him as kraam from the stranded. cool i have a nice partner in crime i'm okay with that. the others leave, there's a lot of them but a second group is getting ready ! so kraam-but-not-quite grabs my arm firmly but like he doesn't hurt me or anything and we start going into The Unknown as well. im like hey wtf do we do now. and he tells me oh these two groups are going mad that couldn't be us let's go find the stray kids ( awake me now realises this is ~cringe~ but dream me was like whoa a solitary group of ppl who fight bigger evils ! BC YES THAT WAS WHAT SKZ WERE DOING IN THIS DREAM but i never met them ) so we can join forces w them and defeat these ppl. i look back. i see the second group from afar bc they have torches. im like wow this is like beauty and the beast.

something happens, idk what, but kraam starts running ! i'm a slow runner so i thought oh fuck not again but i ran after him anyway, the next bit is us running through a sort of jungle ( the sky is clear again ) and like its CRAZY i fucking loved that bit bc WOO ADVENTURE !! ( im a sagittarius )

then we slip between two trees' leaves and end up in a facility. we keep running bc if we stay there We Will Die. suddenly i am slowed down ( which leads me to believe before that he was holding my wrist but released my wrist when he slipped between the trees ) but he checks on me which i appreciate because that means he would rather die with me than survive without me, romance luv

his father ! the bastard. tries to kiss me in front of his mother. im like lmao dude thats disgusting die n go to catholic hell. i push him away and tell him off, he gets pissed but i cant go look for kraam bc his brothers r telling me abt how we're gonna go on a road trip. im like ? the world is abt to end tho ? but apparently my dream rly wanted a drama plot so fine.

his brothers have, allegedly, caught on to an alleged potential relationship between us. no im not gonna complain abt it im lonely and sad and gay so my dream fills in for me. theyre talking abt how theres not enough room for all of us in the van unless i sit on kraam for the trip but they ( specifically the one brother who oddly reminds me of dbk rain ) somehow make it into a sexual joke ? being me tho i didnt get it KSBSKDH... they were like talking abt legs ?? i remember it was abt how it wouldnt work with smth with four legs 'unless i could go with three' and like i dont even know what the hell that was supposed to mean we're talking abt a van not a horse ygwim ?

idk if i woke up after that but my brain did picture both me complaining to kraam abt his dad doing that and him getting quietly angry and just telling me to not come close to him again just in case hed try it again AND the beginning of the 'road trip' where i was indeed using kraam as a seat. and i was sleeping bc idk maybe i was tired from the running ! i hope my next dream is the continuation bc boy that was a whole drama episode

also i gave up and started calling him just kraam but it wasnt kraam ofc he just had kraams face from what i remember ! but he wasnt kraam at all

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 1 Confessionals

This is an interesting tribe. I feel at a bit of an advantage being that I am already in games and at the same tribe as some of the people on my tribe right now, I just hope this doesn't turn into a total fuck fest.

SO, My BFFL Ryan is on my tribe and im so excited. I know i can trust him with everything. I'm literally meeting him in 3 weeks irl so yeah lol. DO NOT EVER SEPARATE US. Anyways, I know jordan pines from India survivor and he's ok. I don;t think i'd ever trust him, but i have nothing against him. I know he pretty pushy in games. I know Jay because he's host me like 2 or 3 times in tumblr and that's scary because he saw how i play and how dangerous my connections and social game can be. Hopefully he takes it as well she's trustworthy so i'll work with her. Who knows. I know Jay and Jordan knows Ryan and I are friends too so that is dangerous. Ryan said he knows emma and can get her with us so that be baller. I'm going to try to make some more friends.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA. It started. Right away I felt a connection with Eric, Carson, and Zachary. I'm hoping I can be more strategic in this season than in Azores. Hoping to find myself in a majority alliance soon. Also all the returning players on my tribe are so good like 1st, 2nd, and 4th. Go them! Hope that they can teach me some tricks at how to play better.

I love my tribe! Jay n Luke n Emma n Jordan are my faves so far also

Okay so i'm back as one of the eight returnees, and i'm excited. I placed second in Bahamas, and i'm planning on making it to day 39 again but this time... actually winning. HOW ICONIC. WIG! Regarding like game-related talk, i'll just go through a first impressions type thing and just ramble I guess. So first, we have Bryce. He's someone I didn't know prior to this game, but he is a returnee. I kind of clicked with him at the start... and I do kind of want to have this unspoken truce between the returnees for the most part so that the newbies don't gather together and pick us off one by one. I don't have much to say about him to be honest. Carson, another returnee. I REALLY love Carson, and i'm glad we're reunited. We have only ever played one game together, and we weren't on the same side (he voted me out at final five rip). However, as he's one of the few that I know, i'm really excited to actually work with him. In addition, he's really social with me and I feel like our conversations aren't at all fake, but more genuine, and I like that. Charlotte. We are in two games together, this and Kuang Si (TS season). Although I don't think we're super close right now, I do want to work with her for various reasons. I trust her to an extent, and she is a returnee as well. However, i'm a little threatened cause she is a winner and she seems to do really good in various survivor orgs, so that's something to watch out for. Chris. I talked to him not once. I think i'll worry more though when it's appropriate, but he's definitely on the outs for me. Perhaps he talks to others more though. Next is Eric. I knew of him before this game started, but not really. We are, like Charlotte, in two games together, but we're not working together in either. However, I do like him and maybe him and I will forge a bond, but i'm not expecting much. I'll probably just try to make him a puppet of mine (it won't work likely hehe) Katie. Katie is my favourite newbie. Like, entirely I don't know her AT ALL, but she's really social and I like that. She's also competing hard and putting in effort in the immunity, which is respectable. I feel like she's someone that will go really deep in the game, so I would like to work with her but i'll probably try to get her out early jury. Lastly, but not at all least, is Willow. Her and I have a little history. She flipped and betrayed me in a game, but then again I never spoke to her so aJSFDKGFl. I know all my friends LOVE LOVE LOVE her so I am wanting to work with her all the way. I will die for her tbh. She's a sweetheart and I think her and I connect. Overall, I think im well situated with the cast, but you never know! Whew

Wow hi this confessional is long overdue but I've been super busy but I have some time let's GO!  I'm just gonna do a tribe analysis because why not: Adam: I've probably talked to him the least out of everybody but what conversation we have had has been nice. Nothing much else to say. Emily: Jordan says that he thinks he could potentially get her to work with us which is cool. I talked to her a little bit and idk she seems kind of difficult to talk to? Like the conversation all felt very weird to me but I guess we'll see how that goes. Jay: So Jay is a winner like me which is great because I was super nervous about being the only returning winner on my tribe so it's comforting that he's here but I think out of the two of us that I'm the winner that's more likely to be targeted. I think an alliance between me, him and Jordan is in the works so that's fun. Jordan: Okay so Jordan seemed super stoked to see me on this tribe since we haven't played together since Westeros happened. He immediately proposed an alliance of me, him and Jay with Willa on the side which I am fine with because we would have the numbers to at least tie a vote if it ends up being returnees vs. newbies but we'll see. Jordan also asked for a final 2 but I'm not going to the final 2 with Jordan, no way. He thinks he can trust me but I'm going to be the one holding the knife behind his back waiting to strike. Lexi: Lexi seems lovely! We talked the first day and the conversation flowed really well and she seems awesome. Jay says that he thinks Lexi could be the key we need to avoid a tie vote at tribal council because he hosted her in India. Since she is also a winner of an ORG I think we could rope her in since the newbies might see her as a threat so we'll see. Ryan: I haven't talked to him much, he seems nice and our first conversation was about food which is my greatest interest so that was iconic. I think I'd be interested in working with him down the line but we'll see how that goes! Willa: WILLA! I think Willa is awesome, I just hosted him in Forbidden Forest and whilst he didn't do well, I know how he plays because I hosted him. I also think that my connection with his boyfriend Kai will be enough for him to trust me. He already said he wants a new Kai that can be social for him and I offered up since I'm British and about as close to Kai as you can get since I was accused of catfishing as him lmfao. I think I can use Willa as a number more than anything. PS: this confessional made me realise how much i say "we'll see how it goes" 

I have nothing interesting to report yet. Everyone seems nice so it won't be fun if we have to vote someone out this week. Hard pass.

I WANT AN ALLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was picked a lot for the draft- nice.

I wasn't picked at all for the draft- sad.

Being that I want an alliance and I really don't care if I do bad because it's just a game, I am going to be straightforward and completely different from how I played previous seasons. Hopefully it works out for me, but I want someone who I can trust as much as they can trust me.

I'm back!!! yeah. basically, everyone i know is on the other tribe which is really ugly but its fine i guess i can make new friends/relationships/etc. i used jessy to bond with katie, so we have each other's backs, also i know zach from other games so i obv asked to work with him so we can work together and take over!! [8/30/2017 5:07:00 PM] zachary rae: is this the carson [8/30/2017 5:07:07 PM] zachary rae: like the carson that voted me out in las vegas and RUINED my dreams [8/30/2017 5:07:17 PM] carson: god... [8/30/2017 5:07:18 PM] carson: SDKJSDJK [8/30/2017 5:07:23 PM] zachary rae: ASJFKDGF [8/30/2017 5:07:26 PM] zachary rae: a tragic memory [8/30/2017 5:07:29 PM] zachary rae: how’re you long time No seeeeEe [8/30/2017 5:07:30 PM] carson: don't bring up las vegas that's ugly [8/31/2017 4:19:38 PM] carson: DSKJSDKJSD I KNOW [8/31/2017 4:19:39 PM] carson: i guessed [8/31/2017 4:19:41 PM] carson: ichinca?? [8/31/2017 4:19:44 PM] carson: i think its called [8/31/2017 4:19:47 PM] carson: we have to like... [8/31/2017 4:19:55 PM] carson: separate which ones are valid and which ones aren't god [8/31/2017 4:20:10 PM] zachary rae: so i just pick a random town or campsite [8/31/2017 4:20:12 PM] zachary rae: and "search" [8/31/2017 4:20:37 PM] carson: yeah [8/31/2017 4:20:40 PM] carson: and its once per round [8/31/2017 4:21:19 PM] carson: also idk if this is too quick but i know u and trust u so do u wanna work together kdssjk [8/31/2017 4:21:38 PM] zachary rae: oh god this idol gonna TAKE FOREVER [8/31/2017 4:21:42 PM] zachary rae: and AJSFDGK yes [8/31/2017 4:21:52 PM] zachary rae: i dont know like anyone really either and im aware of u so like [8/31/2017 4:21:55 PM] carson: god YES skjska [8/31/2017 4:21:55 PM] zachary rae: obviously im ont going to vote u out [8/31/2017 4:22:01 PM] carson: i wont vote u out either <3 [8/31/2017 4:22:03 PM] carson: I'm worried about [8/31/2017 4:22:08 PM] carson: half returnees half newbies [8/31/2017 4:22:19 PM] carson: like i feel like they could just team up?? but i don't rlly know the otherreturnees dskjsdkjs [8/31/2017 4:23:06 PM] zachary rae: AKFSDLG [8/31/2017 4:23:11 PM] zachary rae: yeah i like the returnees for the most part [8/31/2017 4:23:15 PM] zachary rae: like charlotte [8/31/2017 4:23:22 PM] zachary rae: but im also worried that the newbies will team up too and [8/31/2017 4:23:23 PM] zachary rae: yikes [8/31/2017 4:24:29 PM] carson: yeah I like charlotte/Bryce but sKJSDKJ [8/31/2017 4:24:36 PM] carson: i feel like I'm too into it i don't wanna eb hyper strateigc [8/31/2017 4:24:53 PM] zachary rae: yes yes i talked to bryce too [8/31/2017 4:24:56 PM] zachary rae: they seem nice! [8/31/2017 4:24:57 PM] zachary rae: and ASJFKDG [8/31/2017 4:25:04 PM] zachary rae: dont worry i literally am here ot have fun so like [8/31/2017 4:25:10 PM] zachary rae: if u wanna strategize im all ears [8/31/2017 4:25:14 PM] carson: I KNOW i just wanted a fun experience bc when i played [8/31/2017 4:25:17 PM] carson: challengers vs champions the main ssn [8/31/2017 4:25:19 PM] carson: i got way too into it [8/31/2017 4:25:24 PM] carson: and didn't rlly have fun?? [8/31/2017 4:25:41 PM] carson: but we gotta make up for las vegas so lets do this bitch sdjsdjk woo. those are the core 2 im planning on working with, but i definitely like bryce and wanna work with him. i want a returnees alliance just so we dont ge tpicked off, so that forces me to work with charlotte who i dont.. hate?? idk im still getting a feel for her. so, that leaves eric/willow/chris. willow sends like.. super long responses which i kinda wanna vote her out just so i dont have to send paragraphs to reply to someone, but she at least talks and is fun to talk to. chris talks the least out of those 3.. we've barely talked but i just used me knowing jenna/adam/jenn to bond with him bc he played egypt. hes ok?? i should talk to him mroe i guess. and eric.. idk i dont really like talking to eric. it sounds mean but its just the truth hes not that fun to talk to and ehes just rlly naive i guess. but i do know him from other places so i feel like he WOULD trust me. so, between those 3, my order of voting them out would probably be.. chris > eric > willow which is fine i guess?? i kinda like this tribe. also willow said compared to others i talk a lot even though we've had like 5 conversations, and i forgot that side seasons arent supposed to be as serious, so i gotta tone it down!! but.. still in this seaosn i wanna try controlling/doing good/etc in stuff and not be a wishy washy bitch. as well, in this scavenger hunt... im not as much as use with these items so im hoping our tribe does better. eric isnt rlly helping that much so if we lose, i think i would go after him over chris PURELY bc it would be easiest to rally other people against, so im hoping we win so i dont have to do that! also, i dont wanna get hte most or the least, so im gonna try and use my social game to keep me in a good place as of now, and form bonds with the returnees+ katie.

At least I'm not first boot like robbed Zoe.

So, we won by a landslide. I mean, I would consider it a landslide. It kind of sucks that they had two people not submit for them though .. it puts them at a huge disadvantage. Thankfully, Ulta was here to Play. So far everyone seems nice enough, which I've said before, so I don't really have any thoughts or anything Problematic to say. Stay Tuned. PS: Earning 193 points on my own might put a target on my head... but I'm hoping time will show that I am a flop and this was simply a fluke. 

Ugh I'm doing so bad socially. I only click with carson I need to step it up. But i send messages and they give such disinterested response but ill be persistent

whats a Cordillera