#it feels so weird now not to start with a gf tag of some sort

[wittymumbledon]

one lil hal please oh dear art wizard congratls on the followers

the wizord thanks you for your words. have a lil hal for your troubles.

[floosies]

knuck if you buck

rafe cameron x poc!kook fem

summary: rafe tries to stop his gf from mollywhoppin her opp

a/n: for my girlies with ✨rage✨ issues 🤍

you would think rafe found the female version of himself with his girlfriend. she was spoiled, hard headed, and with a temper as short as a blade of grass.

she was younger than him by year, money driven, and couldnt stand when people talked about her behind her back. which didn't take long for rafe to learn.

they'd only been together for a couple of months when she got wind that one of rafe's friends called her a possible gold digger. needless to say she caught the guy off guard at one of the parties and caught him off guard with a bottle of casamigos to the head. she didnt wait to start swinging on him afterwards, her rings and bracelets started to become from her hits. it took rafe, kelce and topper all together to get her off him.

and as soon as she was off him, her anger landed at rafe, "let your fuckin frat bro friends know that if they wanna call me a gold digger again they better say that shit with their whole chest."

-

rafe wasnt intimitated by her at all, if anything her anger made him feel some sort of way. but still, he knew that they couldnt both be wild cards. so he did what he could to keep her peaceful.

unfortunately most of the kook kids were too entitled for their own good. especially the other kook girls who had issues with her because she had her own money and was never afraid to flaunt it, plus she wasnt much into the whole kook v. pogue bullshit.

this led to her getting into it with some girl topper started seeing during the fall. come summer though, she'd warned rafe she shouldnt be left alone in the same room with the girl or else she wouldnt be held responsible for handling business.

he did his best to keep the two far away from each other but topper being topper wanted to talk to rafe privately at some kook event which led to her being left alone with topper's girlfriend who wasted no time talking her bullshit.

getting beside her and taunting, "i dont understand how rafe would wanna be with a girl who associates with pogues. its a bit weird." she rolled her eyes her words leaving her mouth seamlessly, "what's really weird is the way your eyebrows look like they're trying to take over your face. you should also invest in some mints or something halatosis is never cute but i guess topper is always too drunk to notice your bunk breath, whore."

she felt the drink hit her new blouse and as topper's girlfriend started laughing it was cutoff by bejewled fist connecting with her jaw. rafe only had a moment to react as he heard people begin to cheer on the fight, well the sad attempt at a fight. his girlfriend was smacking and punching topper's girlfriend with a force. he knew she'd waited for the day but he didnt need this right now.

all he could do was sigh and say a quick, "fuck" as he pulled her off topper's girl whose face looked a crime scene. now he wondered if this was how his friends had felt all those times in the past. once they were in his truck he cut the silence, "i know she had it coming but people are going to start seeing you like a pyschopath." she rolled her eyes, "i hope they do so they know not to fuck with me. you know how I am rafe, you dont have to be with me-" with a quickness he cut her off "hey! no! i didnt fucking say that either!"

he looked over at her, her hands and rings bloodied, her eyes somewhat sad but looking at him with that puppy gaze, "i love you and your crazy ass way, you know that. but sadly we gotta interact with these people. so try and be good please." she rolled her eyes, but with a sigh nodded, "okay i promise." then she gave him a little kiss as he kept driving, "now take me to your place so you can clean me up. thoroughly." rafe chuckled shaking his head, "yeah baby, i got it. daddy's gonna fix you up real good."

author tags: @xxbimbobunnyxx

[upat4amwiththemoon]

hiii! i just finished watching agents of shield season 5 and was wondering if you can write a daisy johnson x fem!reader based on the scene in season 5 when deke was going to confess his crush on daisy. so basically daisy and R (who's also on coulson's team) have been dating for a while but the team doesn't know yet, and when deke is about to tell daisy abt his crush on her, she casually mentions her gf. idk why i thought it would be hilarious 😭 also i hope it's not too confusing 😭

Lemons

Summary: When you’re in the past, don’t leave lemons on your crush’s bed.

Pairing: Daisy Johnson x female!reader, platonic Deke Shaw x Daisy Johnson x fem!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 771

a/n: 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

masterlists | guidelines

Deke walks towards Daisy’s room, hoping to find her there, so he could tell her he left the lemons on her bed. He doesn’t want her to think someone else, like Mack, was the one who has feelings for her.

Stopping in front of her room’s doorway, he knocks on the side. Daisy lifts her head up to look at him. He glances to see that the lemons are still on her bed, but his gaze moves to the big bag on the floor. “What’s in the bag?”

“My mom.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t what he expected, but he supposes these kind of things are normal in the SHIELD team. He walks into the room, “I heard about your little dust up, I just wanted to make sure you’re all right.”

“I’ve been better. It’s like the universe keeps reminding me I should never have come back from the future,” she pauses, turning to look at her bed, “also, some creep put a bunch of lemons on my bed, as some weird sort of prank.”

Deke scoffs, glamcing at the lemons and Daisy. “Sounds like classic Fitz.” He lets out an airy and strained laugh. Curses flow through his mind, he should’ve known giving lemons wasn’t a custom in the past. “Look, I- um, I feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. I, on the other hand, I lived in a lighthouse my entire life, only to time travel into the past and still spend every single day of my life inside the freaking lighthouse. So..it’s like, even without Kasius gone, this place just has this leash that keeps pulling me back in.”

“Well, I’m glad you stuck around, even if it’s a little crazy.” She gives him a small smile before looking down at her hands.

The smile makes Deke feel all nervous and bubbly inside. Despite the setback with the lemons, he decides to gather his courage. “Well, maybe it’s not that crazy.” He chuckles quietly. “I-I’ve been wanting to tell you something since we’ve gotten, you know,” he moves to sit next to Daisy on the couch, “I don’t want to say closer, but-“

Daisy scoffs, interrupting him. “You really don’t. Everyone who gets close to me ends up dying.”

“Me too.” Deke says almost enthusiastically, as if that was a good thing. “And that’s why I feel like we have so much in common.”

“My mom.” Daisy mumbles.

“I-I know, and-“ he tries to continue, but Daisy isn’t listening anymore.

“Lincoln.”

“Who’s Lincoln?”

“Uh, Lincoln Campbell. He..he was the first inhuman that I became close with. Fought at our side, and he- he died. He died for me, really.” She sighs, looking at the floor, the memories seeping into her mind. “Right when we were getting going, or, you know, getting good.”

“It sounds like you were really in love with this guy.”

“I was.” She smiles, now other memories invading her thoughts. Deke opens her mouth to confess, but Daisy beats her to it, “luckily I met Y/N.”

“Y/N?” He frowns. “Like, you’re lucky she’s your friend?”

“No,” Daisy laughs, “she’s my girlfriend.”

“As in..you’re dating?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“What?” She raises her brows, fully turning to look at him now.

His eyes widen. “Nothing! I just didn’t know the two of you are dating.” He explains quickly, hoping she can’t see the heartbreak on his face.

“You’re actually the first one to know.”

Deke actually starts smiling. It’s a good feeling to be the one to find out something before anyone else, also, he is relieved the others didn’t send him on a fool’s errand while knowing Daisy isn’t even single. “Well, that’s nice.”

The moment gets interrupted by Y/N walking into the room, “Dais, I heard about the f-“ she stops on her track once she notices Deke sitting there. “Oh, sorry to interrupt. I’ll leave you to it.”

“Deke knows.” Daisy states with a smile, offering her hand for Y/N, so she’d come sit with them.

“Wonderful.” She mumbles. “Does Deke know how to keep his big mouth shut?”

He raises his hands and nods. “Deke does know how to keep his big mouth shut.” He would never tell her, but Y/N actually scares him a little bit, in a cool way. He thinks she is cool. Which he would also never tell her.

Daisy laughs, kissing Y/N. Deke looks away at that, feeling a ting of pain at the affection, but he’ll get over it. So, he stays in the room, talking with the pair. Because he thinks this’ll be a great trio.

[dearweirdme]

I wasn't planning on talking anymore but I wanted to send you something to hopefully counter all of the doubters that were bumming you out. 😊 People react very emotionally right away when something like this happens, and I think they should at least take time to process everything before getting into any discussions. This isn't even our first round of shenanigans this year. I've been a Taekooker for a long time and the outV/outJK hate campaign has been around at least as long so this is not my first or second rodeo. They almost always follow the same pattern. The Taennope situation is the one outlier and while a lot of people were panicking immediately after the Paris video, most eventually came back around because the weirdness of the whole thing is obvious to the point media play started being the only explanation that makes sense. Features that are almost always present are a combo of real pics/videos and edited or fake photos/videos that get debunked, a lot get debunked very quickly. What they try to pass of as "proof" usually hides the identities somehow, no recognizable or only partially visible faces, blurring, facing away from the camera, or obstructed view. There's always coordination between multiple accounts that start posting everything together, they often end up contradicting each other or overplay their hand by embellishing too much and adding something that is very obviously untrue. One of the most interesting things to me about the most recent shenanigans is the similarities in the "proof" to JK's "scandal" in 2019. What we got first was a pictures of CC camera footage that showed JK backhugging a woman. This actually showed visible and identifiable faces. It was definitely him. I engaged a lot more on Twitter at the time and was in a group chat with a few big accounts and that day was a crazy one, because the accounts that started the rumor tagged us personally. I think they thought we'd freak out and spread it, but we all kept it in the chat and didn't make any public posts. Soon enough the rumor was officially denied, and the woman involved posted a letter saying they were just friends and she apologized for upsetting anyone (which she shouldn't have had to do). Maybe it's because I saw that go down in real time from a front row seat that the recent smear campaign doesn't get to me. I find the whole thing questionable in the same way every incident has been. Except this time Jungkook actually addressed it almost immediately and while talking directly to us. I've seen some imply he said "I don't have a girlfriend" (three times apparently "I don't have any girlfriend") as some sort of half-truth skirting around him having a gf when the video was shot but not now, but I don't think he would say that if he thought there was a risk anything was going to come up that would make it look like he tried to lie to his own fans. If that was a risk I think he would have just stayed quiet about it, and he certainly would have been advised to stay quiet by the company. I also think him expressing relief at having said that is very interesting. How long has he wanted to say something like that. I trust Jungkook. I put my trust in him over a group of people spreading these things, whether they are all real/some real/all fake, for one purpose: to hurt him by turning his fans against him. None of this is reason enough for me to doubt everything I've seen in Taekook. Earlier you said "I have a pretty clear idea in my head on how everything fits together", I feel that. I debunk a lot of Taekook for myself, but there's still a lot that is undeniable for me and I have everything lined up with receipts when it comes to them. The foundation of my belief just doesn't shake that easily. Thank you for posting pictures of them recently, because I think it's very easy for some to forget why they were here in the first place when there is so much confusion.

Hi anon!

Thanks for this ask! I very much agree with you on all points.

[anothersebastianblog]

I will never forgive the parasocials who harassed him and his gf everytime he gets with another woman until they eventually drove him off social media for good. It started way early since Margo because that was the start of his fame. Bucky was the role that made him known to the world. Fuck those immature capital letter B word. Bunch of whiny jealous little girls stuck in grown women's bodies deciding they're now dating an actor and own him in some way because they like him. They need look up what celebrity means again and seared the definition into their airhead brains. This is why we can't have nice things! Like,dude! Seriously! He's one the most nicest and most interactive-with-fans celebs out there. Not just amongst the MCU cast,but amongst celebs in general. Look all the comic con photos and how he entertained all their requests no matter how weird they get sometimes. Even on Reddit,which is not a subreddit dedicated to him or celebs at all,but on r/Ask subreddit,a guy commented that he saw Sebastian around SoHo a lot and that "people need to stop asking him for photos and leave the poor guy alone for a bit" implying that he never turned down fans' requests for photos most of the time even on his me-time. He replied to fans on IG (A LOT) and made their days. I saw him wishing a fan Happy Birthday on IG (on her page,it was a fanpage IG) and even wrote a sweet birthday wish to her in her comment section in one of her posts where she tagged him. He shares fanmemes/fanedits on his IG story.

Let's not forget his weibo interaction with his Chinese fans. It was so fucking sweet and lovely that I was jealous. He seems more casual,non formal,carefree and let loose lot more on weibo with his fans based on how he replies to them compared to IG where he kept it more civil. I'm guessing it's because no western news outlet will see it and report about it where as if he were to interact the same way on IG with his western fans,news outlets would pick on it. He didn't have to go out of his way for his fans,but he did. And what did they do? Threw it back in his face as a thank you. My point is he's so nice! One of the nicest celebs out there,I read that everywhere where people say that he's seriously one the nicest celebs out there. He's so appreciative and interactive/chatty with his fans. Most celebs don't do this with their fans. And now it's all ruined. I truly wished it would go back to before but he seems happy to be out of the toxic internet world and lives a lowkey & quiet private life with his girlfriend. If only I had the money,I would've tried to interact with the before Sebastian so bad (be in online or irl),the before Sebastian where he was still interactive with his fans and trusts us all enough to let his guard down and be all kind & bubbly.I'm not sure if he'll even do a comic con meet & greet for Thunderbolts or any con at all in the future where he has to interact with fans :( He looked so done and burnt out with it all. So sorry for the long rant. And sorry for my terrible English. I live halfway across the world.

No need to apologise.

I feel you. He probably felt a sort of burnout in 2017/2018 or something when he took the first big break. Then tried again but for so many reasons he saw things got worse and that + what i think it was him really GROWING up around his 40 bday made him realise internet was not something that gave him joy like it did so he quit.

It’s s shame considering seeing content directly from him is another type of joy really and also not everything on sm is bad, with his huge platform he could promote his less known projects for example. But it is what it is.

If it makes you feel more hopeful, i think he is not done with comic cons despite them being clearly stressful. I am sure he will attend one in japan in December 🇯🇵

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.25.2022

tags: jerking off, marking... [whatever, term for "weirdly rubbing penis on you"]

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：dunno why but my morning mental image following me around the room as i go about my business has been tsukasa laying on his stomach pleasantly while amane lifted up upon his palm and knees over him is jerking off, and biting the loose collar of his kimono above his neck, pulling it up off of tsukasa's back. tsukasa is kicking his legs behind them happily

あ：oh a good day for him. thank you for sharing

you love the discrepancy that will start to occur like. if amane could let himself get this far at all. the fact that he'd be quite fraught still doing anything while tsukasa is like💕

つ：amane is breathing through his nose and looks frustrated, like a cat flicking its tail

あ：yes. it's like. it's always severe up there this guy

つ：you look at it like…. is this improvement? it is.

あ：guy looks mad that he is about to nut. but its an improvement bc he's letting himself nut here yk

wait i swear to god i was having such intrusive thoughts the other day about a similar position. though it was more like, knees on either side of shoulder while tsukasa is laying stomach down and amane is hovering above, jerking off. but sometimes like. rubs cock on your nape. it was kind of insane but. it's like tfw i get here i can't be fucking normal at all about jerking off in any way to tsukasa

you get this far and its like i have issues.

つ：oh whats the issue. he like has to be facing away and hands to himself. oh he's so weird….

あ：don't look at me don't touch me. [comes into your collar]

つ：[nene looking at this] and this is a good day for you?

あ：It's times like these she really has to be like I guess, there was a lot to their relationship, that Hanako-kun was running from I hope i watch this get a little less ???? ???? [no concluding thought]

つ：i hope it. something

あ：Some sort of gut instinct is like this surely isn't the final version of this . right

つ：a crude crayon drawing final mental image which is like tsukasa and hanako kissing and hugging, ? maybe like that ?

あ：🐠💭🫂💏🧑‍🤝‍🧑❔❔.... .. ❔

つ：no, maybe thats unrealistic….? [tries to imagine…. something less extremely different… hanako… looking pleasant/relieved jerking off above tsukasa, who is facing him] [feels weird envisioning this]

hanako-kun would not like this image i have conjured…. i should stop thinking about it………….. maybe I can't… even imagine…..?

あ：take a minute and ask yourself how often you have seen hanako looking relieved during sex in general

つ：oh god

あ：chotto matte.

つ：like ahm, wait wait. its not like that… even with me. now is it no, wait… he has issues with….. his heart, in general…..

あ：i think the closest he looks to being 'relaxed' would be like idk the smug egotistical streak but that's still kinda like [snarls] you've seen hanako relish in things at times. but he is kind of like a. maniac?

quickly trying to convey this pose also in my mind. its like. rubs cock on your spine.

つ：OH ITS ALL SO ENDEARING SOMEHOOOOW the dynamic is so funny fkls;jgkl;fkgj

あ：ITS VERY FUNNY. [final pam voice] god forgive me

つ：i think this is hanako at his funniest!!!!!! tsukasa is so heeheeheehee I LOVE IT!! god hanakoooooooo!!! its like tsukasa neutralizes his charm and also redoubles it

あ：chemically balanced

Does make me wish i saw more art of hanako being . like so awkward. his turbo virgin energy you know

つ：god do i wish. like a weirdo who cant kiss you without looking like hes crying

あ：looking like its really disintegrating him to want to kiss

ok.

[sends this image]

つ：WOOOOOOOOOO YEAHHH!!!!!! hold baby hand comfort him while he is being a bigboy confronting his demons (lust for tsukasa)

あ：it is so hard. for him.

つ：nene being the world's best girlfriend everrrrr

あ：patient good gf. generous

つ：giving to the poor [tsukasa] imagining hanako is skuffing his shoesies together as he does….

あ：a truly skittish boy. shuffa shuff...

つ：ah its my favorite to imagine situations like this lasting a very long time 'cuz of the anxiety halting nut….. just means it can stretch so long

the combination of horribly horny and yet trapped on the edge

あ：yyyeah it's just a common result of the sheer intensity, inability to relax, desire to flee. makes him really have to be handled like a tied up horse whfhghf… i imagine this is even specifically an instance where they have to do a lot of foreplay through clothes just bc amane is that apprehensive. its like when i couldnt handle a bj and needed pantomime… just rubbing and licking and breathing on thru fabric for a while. UNTIL it becomes so unbearable, amane himself has to go for pulling himself out

and then it's like hehe ok. lot of massaging with fingertips..

つ：needs to be given some kind of permission to touch it raw. so you've just got tsukasa breathing on it for a while which is already: I made a mistake i made a mistake taking it out

あ：this wasn't smart I don't know what I thought would happen

[golbrocklovely]

it’s so weird that stas is only ever really in vegas with kat when snc leave lol. just a year ago those 4 were the best of friends and now they’re rarely in the same place together anymore

maybe i’m jumping the gun and speaking too soon and stas will still be there when snc return but 🤷‍♀️

it’s strange to see people still hung up on tc4 this tc4 that when they’re barely friends anymore

“burns half as long when it’s twice as bright” comes to my mind when i think of tc4. they were EVERYWHERE together for a year or so and they had traditions (spending a couple months in vegas together) and it was just the 4 of them for a while. now only 2 or 3 hang out at a time. it’s lowkey sad but i felt they were kind of too close… like they were isolating themselves from everyone else. they all seem to have good friendships with other people now which is why i don’t feel so bad. sorry if this is really long lol i just had to get my thoughts out after seeing kat and stas’ stories

i think the downfall of their group was a mix of things.

mostly, i think it was stas catching feelings for colby. she did a lot of questionable shit when she caught feelings for him that i think left a bad taste in his mouth, and thus caused them all to split slowly but surely.

bc she wanted to live in this fantasy where she was y/n and her life was a fanfic with colby in it, and she just took it too far. once the malishka shit happened, i think that was the turning point for colby. bc right around that time he started deleting comments about her and him together (even did the same for him and shea which was very surprising) and constantly saying "i'm single, i don't want a gf, i'm not dating anyone rn" when stas was trying to make it seem like the opposite was true.

and my thing is, i don't fault her for having feelings towards colby. i've been there many times before. but, to get upset at a guy that has never shown interest in you for not reciprocating your feelings back is just weird. not to mention her constantly telling fans in gcs about stuff….. it's no wonder things ended the way they did.

is it possible that there is a lot we don't know that happened bts? of course. i don't pretend to know the whole picture. hell, we probably only know a piece of the puzzle. but it's clear to me that colby had to put his foot down and put some distance between him and her. and that was the first time he's had to do that bc god knows colby doesn't like anything negative or having to stick up for himself (which i'm just gonna assume he sees as negative).

that's why for a while it was just kat hanging out with stas. and i think as time goes on, i think the whole group will come back around. i don't see them being as close as they once were, but i can see them being able to hang out all once again (i mean, they technically already did for when we were young and sort of on colby/stas' bday lol). bc even tho colby put some distance between him and her, i don't think he hates her or anything like that. i think he just needed distance. and obviously kat still likes her, and sam doesn't really have an opinion unless kat tells him to so i'm gonna assume he also likes her.

and while i don't agree with the sentiment that they were all never really that close to begin with and she was just kat's friend that tagged along bc kat was lonely, while that last part is true, i do think they were all close at one point. which is why i think they haven't hung out as a group since. when a problem arises in a group, it's gonna take some time to heal from it. also, snc are on their grind rn, colby has more important shit to worry about, so repairing a friendship is probably last on the list.

i think they were the type of group that did well in positive situations, if that makes any sense. they were down for the partying, they were down for the festivals, for the drinking, for the staying up late and going to vegas and ghost hunting and all that good stuff. i had friends similar to that in college. but when the party was over… what exactly did we have in common? we never hung out sober, or if we did the vibe just wasn't the same. clearly, in a party we were awesome and it was fun. but when the morning would come, we were sorta strangers in the end bc we just never got deep on that level.

while i do think tc4 were friends, i do think that once things got "negative", so to speak, that's when they stopped thriving. and that's when they couldn't be friends anymore.

i honestly think that they just need time, and they could all be friends again. it might take a bit of time, but i won't be surprised if later this year they're all hanging out somewhere or ghost hunting. like i said in a previous ask forever ago, i'll be very surprised if stas isn't in some video of snc's.

but who knows? maybe i'm just an optimist and they'll never all hang out again as a group lol tbh i don't care either way.

[zodiyack]

Baby-Talk

Requested by anon: Maybe a request with Michael or Finn where his gf is unwell and they think it’s a bad cold but she’s gaining weight and they think she’s pregnant so they go to Polly instead of the doctors and she’s really happy that they went to her and it’s just all sweet? Love your work btw❤️❤️

Pairing: Finn Shelby x Female!Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, pregnancy, talks of insecurities, fluff

Words: 750

Note: I tried my best! And I wrote it at 2:46 AM but, aight Hope you like it!

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace​, @simonsbluee​, @peakysputain​, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​

Tags Just For This: @lettersshapes​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

“Y/n, for the last time, you aren’t fat.” Finn rolled his eyes playfully as he lied back in his chair. Y/n had been pacing the room, back and forth, for the past twenty minutes, relentlessly ranting her insecurities.

“Yes, I am, Finn. Look at me! I’ve gained so much weight, I feel sick to my stomach every day,” Finn shot up, eyes wide, “I’m craving more and more food constantly- You know, I think I might be down with something.”

He nodded. It could be one of two cases. Either she really was sick or she was... Finn shuddered. Who knows what would happen if it was the second reason. Y/n’s parents would kill him, if not his family killing doing so first.

“We should uh...wait it out, you know? Perhaps you’re just sick?”

“Fine.” She moved over to sit in his lap, “But if this really is some sort of illness, and I die, don’t think for one second I won’t take you down with me. It’s the least I could do for you not taking care of me.”

“Y/n-” Finn sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know what to do anymore. You’re either fine or complaining, hungry or in too much of a shit mood to eat, sick or claiming to gain... weight...” The two’s eyes connected in seconds, they knew the possible outcome.

“Polly?”

“Polly.”

They agreed on where to go with a simple exchange of eye contact, rushing up to grab their stuff and prepare to leave. Pol had a knack for knowing when someone was pregnant, what the baby’s gender was, and more, so she was the first thing Y/n and Finn thought of after considering the possibilities.

Knocking on the door was just the start to Y/n’s nervousness. Her sweaty palm gripped Finn’s so tight, he was almost surprised it was still connected to his body by the time she finally let go. Polly waited, giving them confused looks before Y/n and Finn looked to the ground.

“Alright, what have you two done this time?”

Y/n gasped, feeling only but a little offended, “Why is it that you assume I’m always causing trouble with him?! It’s him you have to worry a-”

“I believe I asked a question?”

“We need your help, Aunt Pol...” Finn nervously fidgeted with his cap, avoiding her eye contact as much as he possibly could. “We didn’t know where else to go...”

Pol took a second, thinking before the realization struck her, visible as her eyes widened. “You haven’t checked with anyone yet?”

“No ma’am. You were the first person we thought about when the we realized it was more than likely to have...happened...”

Polly kept quiet, only silently mumbling to herself with a small smile. “Pol, are you mad?” Finn inquired, putting an end to her rushed mutters.

“Well, to be frank, I’m flattered you came to me first. However, Finn, I am more than slightly upset that you ignored Y/n’s signs. They seem to have shown a week or more prior.”

“How-”

“Don’t doubt your aunt Polly. Just, trust me on this one, alright, Finn?” He nodded, sitting down. “Now, this is going to be a bit weird for you, Y/n, but it’s necessary.” She grabbed at the girl’s chest, feeling around, then pulled away with a smile wider than before.

“I bet it’s going to be a little boy,” Polly whispered, leaning in towards Y/n so only she would hear. “Imagine that, Y/n, a mini-Finn running around. Almost startling, I must admit, but I probably would’ve thought the same thing about Tommy, but look how Charles turned out...”

Y/n nodded, the picture of a smaller, younger, version of the blinder appeared in her head, bringing a smile to her face and a warmth to her heart. Though carrying the child would be a pain, finally giving birth to him and guiding him through life, watching him as he grows up with his mother and father ready by his side, would make the struggle all the more worth it.

“So?”

"Finn, you best marry this girl before her family kills you. Not that they’d have the chance to. Your brother’s would probably kill them before killing you for being so idiotic...just- marry the girl.” She walked out of the room, sighing.

The two sat for a silent bit. No movements nor words came from the two. It was awkward, to say the least, until Finn broke the tension with his summary of Polly’s words; “Holy fuck! You’re pregnant-”

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[beignetbenny]

If you're comfortable would you share more you projecting your relationship onto Zukka? I originally followed you from the grocery trip post and i honestly love that sort of thing

You... you want me to project my relationship onto Zuko and Sokka more? My relationship? The one where my GF texted me “if i cosplay zuko and you cosplay sokka and we kiss would that be crazy or what?” that relationship?

I have literally been DYING to do this

Zuko and Sokka met in their junior year of college (performing arts college because if we’re projecting we’re projecting) and the first time Sokka sees him he’s already like: I’m in love

Since Zuko is an arts student, his style is a little more on the quirky side i’m not gonna lie. It’s usually a mix of grunge and goth stuff with the occasional surprise like “oh you have a turtleduck pin on your backpack. Are those pride flag socks?”

Sokka already had a pretty established friend group, but Zuko had transferred back in that semester after taking a leave of absence for family reasons. So, immediately sokka takes him in.

Zuko becomes really good friends with Aang and Katara and Suki and Toph of course, as they spend most of their time together. With rehearsing, running to get food at obscene times of the night still in their dance gear because rehearsals ran long. They food hop and get boba at 2 am, coffee at 3 am, McDonalds at 4 and so on. They go out and get pasta at midnight and refer to it as pasta time. Only one of them has to drop that phrase alone in the groupchat and everyone agrees on a time. Pajamas be damned. They get away with it because technically they are student athletes

A joke by Sokka that is run into the ground by the time they sneak ben and jerrys into a Tap level 5 placement. Zuko is the only other one out of the friend group that gets the highest dance placement as Sokka. It’s understandable, tap dancing is very hard, its’ a difficult skill, and not everyone can do a winged time step into navy time steps it’s rightfully difficult and the timing is off

So... the two of them start rehearsing together more. It wasn’t that they didn’t a lot before, but the class was mostly split and sure they were definitely friends outside of classes too but Sokka felt like his super mega crush on the hot belter who came in with Aftershocks from Next to Normal was something he could get over. So he kinda stuffed it away the more they worked together. 

Then they get assigned a scene. An acting scene. An acting scene that ended in a passionate kiss. An acting scene the teacher said they were both capable of

So they rehearse it. They’re both dead letter perfect by the first night because they have expectations to live up too and both of their siblings just get things so much easier and suddenly they’re talking instead of rehearsing.

Three hours pass before they remember “holy shit we’re running this with blocking in class tomorrow we should probably get this right”

So they go through the scene, the emotions are pretty high, and they both lean in for a stage kiss before Sokka stops

Sokka: Wait...  Zuko: What? Sokka: This is okay right? I can touch you? I mean we didn’t talk about it first and- Zuko: Sokka Sokka: And I know this is both of our first scenes with a kiss and i really respect you as an actor and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable Zuko: ...Sokka Sokka: And I just want to say that- Zuko: You can kiss me Sokka: What? Zuko: It’s not a big deal. We’re both trying to be professionals right? It doesn’t need to mean anything.  Sokka: ... yeah...

So they kinda uh... kiss... and they don’t really stop... kissing

They do it in class and the kiss maybe plays off a little too well. The other classmates clap, the teacher gives feedback. His main point is that you’re supposed to be in love but you’re acting like it hurts.

And sokka makes some bullshit excuse about how he saw the character differently and Zuko tags along to that idea giving more validity to the statement and the teacher is like “alright, bet. You’ve proved your point. It’s probably not what the playwright wanted but this is about expression so i’m glad you feel expressed”

They don’t rehearse together anymore because both of them feel like they’ve gotten it and don’t want to ruin anything. They still hang out. They still have pasta nights. But things are kinda weird. But more than anything, Sokka really misses his friend

In the end, they end up having to do the scene for a showcase. Meaning that during rehearsals they have to do it again and again and again and again until it sort of just becomes normal

Good luck kisses back stage turns into kissing in greeting when they’re visiting each others dorm rooms turns to picking up food orders for each other. Never in front of people, because you can make it platonic. And realistically it’s only done so both of you can make the stage kiss feel more comfortable.

But that doesn’t stop Sokka from being like “woah man i’m getting mad butterflies when we kissed even though I immediately called you dude after the kiss broke"

So sokka comes up with a plan because as much as he likes whatever they’ve got going on, which he does because friend and kissing and cuddling is GREAT for someone who is scared of commitment because the chance of something happening to that person would literally destroy him and that doesn’t feel great.

Instead, the night of the showcase he gets all of his friends to hype him up to ask Zuko out with his favorite candy, a coupon to get pasta, and well... the obvious question

But Sokka waits until they’re in places like an asshole but also because he’s kinda terrified and if something goes wrong it could change the whole dynamic of the scene and they’d both flunk out of fucking THEATER SCHOOL AND-

And he shoves the snack and the coupon and a note he hastily wrote into Zuko’s hands before running to his own entrance to do the scene because he’s stage left while Zuko’s stage right.

And they do the scene, but somethings a little off. Zuko seems distracted but he’s also happy? like super happy? Like did the laugh queue and made it sound genuine instead of spiteful happy? And he smiled into the kiss? That wasn’t... something they did. But Sokka went along with it because the scene SEEMED to be working fine

And then they go off stage and the second the theater darkens, Zuko shoves the prop pillows into Sokka’s chest

Zuko: Fuck you Sokka: What? What did I- Zuko: I mean, yes, obviously yes. The hot tamales were a great choice but fuck you. Sokka: Yes? Zuko: Yeah!

And that’s the only conversation they get in because they have to help with the other prop changes but the moment they are finally backstage and their mics are off they kiss in the little hallways backstage that goes from one entrance or another

(at least they think they’re mics are off but uh... that was embarrassing and i don’t want to put that on them carrying on)

When the show ends and they’re both wiping they’re stage makeup off about to leave their director approaches them and obviously they both think they’re in trouble because they just did a 180 to what they had practiced for the last month but the director loved it. And then he asks them why it was different and Zuko admits that something finally clicked. And the director chalks it up to opening night vibes and that now they should keep it that way for the rest of the performances

The night the show closes they do a Gaang pasta night and the rest of them don’t even realize anything is different until Sokka reaches over and takes something from Zuko’s plate (which was usually off the table and would result in getting fussed at) that they noticed something was up.

[philonotis]

I posted 1,875 times in 2021

11 posts created (1%)

1864 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 169.5 posts.

I added 352 tags in 2021

#hxh - 69 posts

#tiny town - 60 posts

#kitties - 56 posts

#art - 51 posts

#kurapika - 24 posts

#fav - 20 posts

#gon - 19 posts

#leorio - 19 posts

#lgbt - 17 posts

#killua - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the leftist brainwashing class is watching some peers who live off campus lose weight from eating so bad while seeing the college make milli

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I love your tiny town tag so much, every time I see you post in it I'm like yea!!!!!!! Yea!!!!

!!!! thank you so much omfg! 

ive never talked about what tiny town is on my blog before so ill use this ask to give the tiny town lore. here we go

my ex gf and i are both autistic and have trauma, so we developed this like healing collaborative fantasy world called tiny town. the rules of tiny town are that 1. nobody can get horribly sick or die and 2. it’s silly

i dont know how it started but the inhabitants of tiny town speak in a peculiar way too sort of like sandsverse-style, and everything else about the town we either made up OR got from the posts in that tag! the visuals of tiny town have never been drawn up, but we agreed it had a richard scarry type vibe.

my ex and i are no longer in contact after a bad end to our relationship BUT the town still lives on cuz it still helps me cope with the way my brain works in a weird but fun way! so it makes me very happy to receive an ask about it hehehe!

4 notes • Posted 2021-02-07 00:52:01 GMT

#4

WHAT THE HELL I GOT RAYBANNED SORRY EVERYONE SKDJFKDSJFH

5 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 18:33:47 GMT

#3

okay what the hell. im 23 years old now -___-

9 notes • Posted 2021-06-27 22:11:55 GMT

#2

*normal radiohead au* im normal..... im a normie..... im exactly where im sposed to be......i do belong here :)

20 notes • Posted 2021-03-24 17:52:30 GMT

#1

happy butch appreciation day! i feel more secure in my identity and self than ever before, thank you and lots of love to all the butches, femmes, and gnc people out there doing their best in the world today 🧡🌻

28 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 15:28:28 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[violetmsu]

it’s a me a mario!! aka your local mess ( brett ) back at it again ! this is violet and she is this and honestly? it may just be best if you experience her first hand. like this up for plotting and what not! her app is here, musing tag, about , pinterest, LITERALLY NONE OF THIS IS DONe and i’m still fleshing her out, but enjoyyyy. under the cut are some vi things and some plot ideas <3

she’s is an sort of average wizard, who wants to be extraordinary.

does not have the motivation to actually do so

a slytherin with a energy free ambition..smh

loves divination, has many hobbies within it

oddball

oddly calm, almost too calm

creepy calm, that saying cute but creepy? violet.

it takes a lot for her to get angry, but when she does there are those who swear they may have seen horns

is horribly lost in life, no idea what she truly wants to do

transfiguration queen? she transforms into a mink which ALSO happens to be her patronus

is obsessed with, tarot cards, books, long romantic strolls through a graveyard, lounging, making out, dressing in all dark colors, not having to start conversations, droobles best blowing gum, finding new excuses to not do something

always seems to have a lollipop with her

became estranged from her family at 16/17, she wanted out of their dark and negative space and prepared to leave. they have never got on anyway. only she got caught when her father found her packed bags, that was the last night she’d seen either of them. they kicked her out and cut her off, not that they had that much anyway. her aunt swooped in so she could finish her final years at hogwarts and be taken properly care of when she wasn’t at school.

after hogwarts the plan was to start working and becoming a functional magical citizen, her aunts plan, anyway. violet had other ideas. mokseong. it was the first time she had actually asked something from her aunt, to help her pay the tuition. this was her chance to change her fate.

her aunt agreed and violet promised to work, thus her journey here began.

she joined in the places she did well in, alchemy and transfiguration

just getting by in the other classes, but does put out some effort to study she mostly likes reading instead of it though

being the way she is bothers her and has stemmed from the way her family made her feel other. feel like she wasn’t horrible enough, didnt talk loud enough, didnt want to bow to everything they said. her sense of reality got sort of warped from them, she refuses to let them corrupt her magic too

her family pretended to be a lot of things they weren’t when the doors were open, behind them was a family who didn’t harbor any love at all

had tried to convince her brother to leave with her so he wouldn’t be left their alone, but he wouldn’t go 

all and all..she doesn’t talk about her family

she works as a bartender at nightowls, is horrible at it but the owner has a soft spot for her. often likes to creep out the customers or tell them they have so many days till they die. all lies, all quite funny in her opinion

actually she lies a lot

SELF DESTRUCTIVE !! woo, let’s go suffering

something good happening? better ruin it

making progress? can’t have that

feelings? yikes

goth gf

if you get into her bubble she does open up a little more

DOES NOT WANT TO BE AN ADULT but tries

will have to be dragged to parties

does not dance to the song..she dances to her spirit

issues..tbh

so many

she’s very witchy, from the way she dresses to just being her.

she’s part of the volleyball team, transfiguration club, divination club, literature club, defense against the dark arts club.

sometimes thinks the walls say things??? still hasn’t figured out what that is about

if you’re looking for her usually search dark, dimmed light corners.

a spooky babe

stressed

she prefers actions over words when it comes to people

if you can make her laugh you’ll have her attention

into knives

can be grumpy every once in awhile

likes to join study groups and pretend she’s studying just so she can say she went

even tho she doesn’t give herself any credit, she’s actually more self sufficient that she thinks 

writes her to do lists on her hands

frequently loses her phone

plot ideas, 

an angsty ex, violet is prone to ruin things and their relationship was one of them

a best friend or two, violet needs a support circle and she loves them for putting up with her weird ass <3

hogwarts relations

club / team relations

an enemy, they hate each other for reasons we can plot or they just DONT get along 

are we forming a book club right now?

a crush, cause surprisingly she does get those

someone who has a crush on her, she doesn’t know how this one happened 

someone who drags her to parties and encourages her to get out there!

a fling

a light to her darkness

they annoy each other so much but they are still frieNDS kfjfkf

a person who pushes through her barriers and she’s can’t help but care about them

a brother??? maYBE idk 

other people who work at nightowls??? 

similar interest acquaintances ?

a responsible person that constantly is like WHAT ARE YOU DOING ????

um im honestly so bad at this i can’t lIE i’m down to brainstorm or just go off stuff too!! if you’re interested in anything or have anything in mind feel free to just shoot me a message 

[watchingminecraftyansim]

Post 3 - Murder, Breaking & Entering, and Twitter Callouts

Hi, I’m Isabelle, and welcome to post three of watching the Minecraft Yandere Simulator Roleplay by SamGladiator. Today we’re going to be looking at episode 4, and only episode 4 as the people have voted for shorter but more frequent posts, which leaves more room for my snarky comments and other attempts at comedy, aren’t you all excited? And before we begin, I just want to get onto a quick tangent, Taurtis’ swimsuit skin is weird. His nipples seem too close together, I don’t like it. Now after that weird side tangent, let’s get onto talking about episode 4, an episode about breaking and entering, twitter, and possibly a murder.

This episode starts off where three left off, as episodes in episodic series are want to do, with Sam and Taurtis’ teletubbies DVD stolen and the boys freaking out in the presence of Jay and Invader. They immediately start brainstorming people who could have done this, and landing on teacher Gareth as the prime suspect because they feel he is out to get them, and I really don’t disagree with them there. The boys then start concocting revenge ideas, such as toilet papering his house, or burning it down. There is nothing saying that those two things can’t go together I would say, TP makes good kindling. Invader says she doesn’t trust Gareth, suspecting him of living the boomer dream of murdering his wife instead of getting a divorce like everyone else. The boys instead settle on a good old fashioned breaking and entering to see if he did actually murder his ex-wife, which I would qualify more as a crime than a prank, but I digress. Before they can get along with their felony Gareth shows up at their door to return Sam’s bear, which gets passed around in an involuntary game of hot potato because of how Minecraft handles picking up items, but is eventually returned to Sam. This does result in Sookie, Yuki, and PowerDragon looking in on the whole thing, taking pictures and posting them on Tumblr Fumblr. Sam is disgusted by this because, and reduces Invader’s name to just Beard Girl. Nice.  Sam then plans to ditch everyone by walking down a straight open road where everyone has line of sight of him, Taurtis, and Jay. But I probably shouldn’t talk shit as it actually worked. They then do a lap around the block and get back to Gareth’s house, right across from theirs, and break into it. Well I say break into it, they walk into the unlocked garage door, which was in a garage which was wide open, so while that is still legally a crime, Gareth should have invested in better security.

 In Gareth’s house we see he has like, 4 Game Cubes, no games in sight. But what is in sight is a trail of blood, leading to Gareth’s kitchen table. Taurtis follows it, getting blood all over his hands, and sees human skulls on the table, they disappear before Sam, and by extension the audience see it though. Before the boys can investigate further however Gareth shows up forcing everyone to hide. Taurtis and Sam hide in the kitchen and as it looks like Gareth is going to go into the kitchen, Sam smashes the fucking window and bolts along with Taurtis, shortly before realising Jay is still in there, and rush to the grage door to let him out. After retrieving Jay the boys scamper back across the street to their house, where they then confirm to Invader that her suspicions were right, and that Gareth murdered, his wife, and then stating that he could have murdered anyone, actually. This prompts Invader to then tweet about it, and Jay follows her example, both of them tagging Sam and Taurtis on the tweets, causing people, and most importantly Gareth, to know who broke into his house and broke his window. Sam makes a tweet about how it was a bird which flew into Gareth’s window, but Jay calls him out for lying to get those sweet sweet twitter followers. Also how come they can use Twitter but have to use off brand Tumblr? The logic of this Minecraft Roleplaying Series based vaguely off of Yandere Simulator makes no sense! Sam and Taurtis kick Jay and Invader out for exposing their crimes on Twitter, and then realize that much like in every movie that played on kids TV channels which you can sort of vaguely remember, doing crimes and breaking rules makes them seem cool, so then they become with being exposed on Twitter. Taurtis points out that even though Sam’s reputation will be better he will probably get murdered, but Sam doesn’t care because he will be cool for those couple of days. Shortly after though he gets called out by Invader on Twitter for kicking her out of his house, which gets him backlash, and teacher Gareth tweets “I’m pretty sure @Taurtis & @SamGladiator broke into my house…”, but I can assure Gareth that Sam simply had a heated rabbit moment. Sam and Taurtis decide to play some GameCube, settling on Mario Kart, and Sam tweets about how he’s living the good life, playing GameCube with his best friend forever @Taurtis. Gareth promptly fires back with “@SamGladiator @Taurtis no one cares nerd.”, which I was gonna say was a dick move but these guys literally broke into his house so, we’ll call it even then. Jay asks if he can come over and play however, they agree, and Jay shows up almost instantly. Taurtis says they could call over Sams’s GF (Invader), he says that’s gross because ew beard, I make a snide comment about how that’s not cool, and the episode fades out with Sam, Taurtis, and Jay playing GameCube. Did I mention they did not take off their swimsuits for this entire episode?

Well that’s all for this post folks, tune in next Friday to figure out, is there any consequences to the Boy’s B&E? Will teacher Gareth stop being a bit of an asshole to the boys? Will Sam finally stop making distasteful comments towards Invader’s beard? Find out next time on Watching Minecraft Yansim!

[velveetacrackncheese]

Hey, Rad... Alex... Alexlememe? I know that's the name you used to go by and I know you've kinda disconnected yourself from Viv's fanbase after ZP ended, and I remember your memes and such but I kinda just wanted to get your take on the Hazbin drama since you reblogged the headcanon blog's post on the subject. More or less regarding the issue of her being uncharitable to fans and non-fans alike, plus that one callout post on twitter?

So this is weird. I wasn’t expecting to get asks on the subject since like you said, I’ve generally been disconnected from the fanbase aside from the few reblogs here and there retaining to Hazbin and its more recent developments. But yeah I guess I could give my take on this since I mean.. old fans still follow me. Idk why, but they do!So, really. In regards to that callout post (which is now deleted) I really, really don’t care that much. For one thing, Initially I did because I really hated to see someone be slandered so viciously with inaccurate and uncharitable attacks, but I kinda just stopped because even when I linked the addresses from both Viv, and the Ken dude regarding all the drama mentioned, it was either ignored and resulting in me being called a “pedo sympathizer” or “It wasn’t even an apologyyyyy weh” and like, whatever. I stopped giving a shit.

Terms of the traced animation thing... Lol, ok. I mean homages do exist, and her animation thingy was based on a meme so whatevs.

Anyways,I knew from the very start that the whole “tracing” and “stealing designs” stuff was nonsense since there was an entire like, tumblr drama arc on the issue, and albeit Viv’s post is gone, there’s evidence of legal contracts regarding Jiji and that whole nonsense that was years ago. In regards to her drawing pictures of Blaire White and Shoe… Eh. I mean, yeah, fuck em, but she’s made it clear that she doesn’t support those views anymore, and she wasn’t even really aware of the other things they’d done at that point, and I see no real reason not to believe her because what does lying about that gain her? Yeah her comment on the “blackface” thing if you wanna call it that was dumb as shit, but considering 2016 was a rough year for her in terms of trying to find where she fell in the political sphere, I can relate because I was in the same boat. A lot of sjw cringe comps, shaming feminists, and purposely misgendering transpeople… Not a good time for me either! Course I’ve changed. I went from being a reactionary alt-centrist to an anarchist so. Whether that’s an improvement is up to you.

As for the whole pedo/zoo shit, I really don’t see it. I mean like, look, obviously porn art portraying people fucking feral animals is disgusting right. Not saying it isn’t problematic or anything, but to be fair, she did draw this shit like 8 years ago. I’ve seen worse from even more well-established artists and I don’t see people trying to cancel them? Also, the art was suggestive for one thing and not necessarily 100% porn. I mean it’s still creepy and gross, and I’d understand scolding them if they continued to do so but a lot worse, but I haven’t seen anything like that from Viv past those 2 drawings. As for the pedo shit… The relationship between a 17 year old and a 19 year old is… hardly creepy and reminiscent of pedo shit. So yeah no fuck that. Now with the drawing of Mirage and Kestrel and the tag that said something jokingly like “Mirage and her pedo tendencies” or whatever… Yeah idk, I can’t defend that lmfao. Again, Viv said she disapproves of those drawings and doesn’t care to think about them, but that one piece of artwork definitely had some baggage to it that made me feel uncomfortable after reading the tags.Only issue I took in terms of her addressing that, is that she was very adamant about it being an inside joke… Which if that’s true, you must’ve had some fucked up friends like damn.

I would also like to state that cub art is legitimately disgusting and I am of the belief that it can cause harm depending on the context since I assume the consumption of cub art can reinforce the urge for pedophiles to act on their desires instead of finding healthy coping mechanisms for it through therapy. There have been stories from younger users on the internet that older people have tried to groom them and have the notion of pedos preying on them be normalized by sending them art depicting kids in sexual acts with adults. Of course in isolation cub art isn’t as harmful as the actual act of raping a child, and I would argue that people have their priorities kind of messed up since the illustration being acknowledged should be part of combating pedophiles preying on children. However, people, typically twitter wokescolds tend to focus on the art solely and I don’t know why. There’s a lot of MAPS trying to find their way into LGBT spaces and it’s fucking gross.

Now with Hazbin itself… It’s meh. Initially I watched it with rose-tinted glasses and loved it. After watching it for like… the 3rd, 4th, 5th time? It’s alright. I don’t hate it, but it’s far from perfect. Now ofc I know it’s a pilot but a very lengthy pilot I’ll say. My biggest gripe with the pilot is that the editing is really fucking weird. Like the editing where Angel tells Alastor “I can suck yah dick!” and the scene that followed was really off. It seemed like too many cuts were made in that instance and seemed very cluttered. It also feels that way during Charlie singing “Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow” and how many little animated bits were like almost wiped off the screen by how fast it came by, and ntm there was just so much happening all at once on screen as well. I had to pause at points just to process everything that was happening. The palette is also very, very, verrrry red. There’s so much red going on and like… I get it, it’s in hell. But lemme rest my eyes on something else besides red, please. The palette they use needs to be better diversified, and the same goes for the characters too. Every character seems to have red on them. Whenever Baxter shows up later he’s gonna look really out of place. Some of the jokes were ok, and others seemed non-clever. I didn’t think Angel’s joke about sucking Al’s dick was funny. I did like the joke with Pentious and Angel though. “SON??” Some of it could’ve been written better too.

Regarding the drama with the show itself… Personally I don’t get it. Like, I don’t feel as if Angel is homophobic as a character since his queerness isn’t at the face of the jokes he makes? He just happens to be sex worker which… sex workers are fine? Support sex workers y’all, seriously. There’s also nothing intrinsically wrong with being sexually active either? As long as it’s within reason and you’re being trustworthy.The issue lies in the fact that people viewed the things I just mentioned as negative, and associate it with gay people as said negatively portrayed thing to push the sentiment of “Gay man do sex a lot therefore the gays bad” or that sort of thing. Also there’s a bit where it shows there’s more emotional depth to him and I’m hoping they’ll expand on that later. Honestly though, the criticisms in regards to that have been pretty uncharitable. Same with the criticisms for Vaggie. Apparently Vaggie is racist because… she’s loud and angry? Again, this is a case where people assume those traits are negative, and because it’s assumed to be negative, the negatively portrayed thing pushes the sentiment of “Being a loud fiery woman made, and latina women are that, therefore latina women bad” or some shit.  There are stereotypes that are bad no matter what the context is like sambo-esque caricatures of black people. Then there are tropes that are applied to certain demographics that have the capability to be written well into characters without it being offensive or disrespectful. Vaggie is literally angry because she’s protective of her gf. Like. C’mon.

So, I think that settles what I think about that? It honestly seems like superficial shit to me tbh, and I’m saying this as an sjw-y beta cuck anarchist.

The only REAL gripe I have, is with what the mod from @zpheadcanons posted. Because I know this is probably true as much as it hurts me to say it. Faust def has a history of being pretty petty and bully-like to people she deems undesirable, and Viv harbors it by not criticizing it, and if anyone else within their friend group does it then you’re scolded vehemently and treated like garbage. Her attitude also stretches to harboring an audience full of white knights that I personally don’t approve of.

There’s also this

Faust has hurt distant people I personally know and… yeah. Maybe I’m biased but I can’t vibe with that. Sorry. If you don’t make an effort to criticize abusive behavior within your own friend circles then that makes you just as bad, because then you’re just a bystander to things you could have prevented.

This isn’t to say Viv herself hasn’t dealt with bad faith actors, or people who had the intention to hurt her, or very uncharitable criticism. Particularly from the badwebcomics forums which is honestly 4chan like in how they operate. It’s vicious as hell, and a lot of their criticisms boil down to insults and personal attacks, which serve to be nonconstructive. That’s not to say Viv has been kind to even the more charitable criticism though. I know because when I happened to send an ask to the zoophobia criticism blog (where did it go???) regarding something relatively minor and superficial, she blocked me from her blog. I’m still blocked lmfao. I’m not blocked on twitter though! (not yet anyways). Faust has me blocked there though, and I have no idea why. She’s had me blocked for years even though I haven’t spoken out against her till recently. So, there’s that.

As for her apology itself, I feel like it was fine. I think it could’ve been worded better? The take I disagree with in terms of that is like… If I made a mistake in the past, and I make it clear that I don’t care for what I did, I don’t feel as if me explaining why I felt compelled to do certain things negate me from still not caring for my past actions? That’s just me providing context. That’s a really weird take, but I guess that could be viewed as an excuse idk. Personally I think people are holding the bar super high to a state of irrationality.

*sigh* So yeah there’s that. I miss the old days where honestly I could be ignorant about this, but at the same time I look at my old obsessive posts and I kinda just… cringe. I was such an irrational stan I almost hate myself for it. Fuck XD

Edit: I’d also like to point out that I’m not saying Viv or Faust are totally awful or totally good people, and I know they’re capable of being better. It’s a matter of whether or not they wanna be better.

[jawnjendes]

i don’t know why | shawn mendes

university au a totally perfect summer babey, shawn x goth gf

AN: u know how life imitates art or vice versa???? yeah sometimes i hate that. anyway i thought i was gonna slow down with updates but i had one (1) free day before i move (tomorrow) so here is this do with her what you will

******let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters

masterlist | playlist

In the past, if there was ever a time I could trade 120°F weather for literally anything else, I would have taken it. I would have given anything to stay in Toronto over the summer if it meant I wouldn’t experience heat exhaustion from the moment I stepped outside. I would sell intense SoCal weather to Satan for a single cornchip.

It’s halfway through May, and I still wore a long sleeve and jeans when I went out. It rained sometimes, and when it didn’t, it was cloudy. I could appreciate the coziness that accompanied the weather, but for the time of year, it was also putting me into a weird headspace. I couldn’t shake the feeling of my body unconsciously waiting for sweltering, dry desert heat. I was supposed to be in shorts and a tanktop in my hometown, and Shawn was supposed to be there with me. We were both supposed to be facing the chaos that was my extended family.

On top of that, I was hating having to go to the dealership five times a week. That was all I had going for me now that school was out. I didn’t even work five days during the semester. I never worked in the summer at all in the last few years, and again, I was wearing sweaters in May.

On the bright side, Shawn went to his first therapy session, and it went well for him. Said he had a breakthrough, and ways to combat the night terrors, but he had more that night anyway. I had to time when his body would start twitching, and then wake him up 15 minutes prior. It worked well, and it brought some relief to us and our sleep. I was just glad he was finally doing something about all of this, even if he was still reluctant to talk to me about it.

Sometimes, we were on different wavelengths. Shawn was in the process of getting his perkiness back, and it showed when my pessimism was out and about. There was a balance of light and dark between us, and today Shawn had all of the light.

I decided to go barefaced today. I felt the need to not hide how tired and done I was with the world and its bullshit. My eyebrows were incredibly sparse, and the under eye bags were just a little sunken in. While I was eating solid food again, I was lacking in other nutrients, therefore I was still dropping weight. Why hide it, right?

Shawn just had to point out that I was not wearing makeup, and I just had to take it the wrong way.

“I can’t look pretty all the time,” I snapped.

“But you do look pretty all the time,” he replied, unfazed.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from the bathroom mirror. Shawn was standing next to me, putting product in his freshly washed hair when he noticed my body language.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I have nothing to complain about. I should be grateful.

I left the bathroom and went to change into my uniform. My company shirt needed a wash, but I made a mental note to douse myself in perfume before I left. I was also on my last pair of clean white leggings, which gave me another thing to do when I got home because Shawn doesn’t do laundry. He waits for his mom to come over and do everything for him.

He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, in his white Sting t-shirt and black jeans. I don’t know why I envied the fact that his only uniform was a stupid apron. Or the fact that he actually looked forward to going to work.

“Okay,” he spoke firmly, “not that long ago, you were pushing me to talk, now it’s your turn. What’s wrong?”

I sighed, not wanting to destroy the last chances I had at pulling myself together before my shift. “It’s nothing. I’m totally happy to be here.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

My skin was crawling with unreasonable annoyance. I wanted to yell at him, and for what? Was it his fault that my insides were the actual worst?

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Then I looked at him, and the underlying sadness started to creep in. “I just miss my parents… and California. I kinda wish I was there.”

Shawn’s eyebrows scrunched together. His tone was something I was not expecting in the slightest. “You don’t wanna live here?”

It didn’t take much to get me back to my angry state. “I didn’t say that,” I defensively argued. “I said I-”

He interrupted me. “No, no. You don’t wanna be here. You don’t wanna live with me. It makes sense, you’ve been moody this whole time!”

My eyes narrowed into a death glare. “What, am I not allowed to miss my hometown? Am I not supposed to be angry that my large intestine refused to cooperate and part of it had to be removed? Should I not be pissed off that I’m eating bland rice everyday?”

He looked more confused than angry. “I think you should be happy you made it, that you’re okay now.”

I scoffed. “I should be happy? I don’t get to go home until December! I don’t get to see my family this summer! It’s almost June and I’m wearing a fucking sweater!”

“Don’t you hate the desert?”

“You don’t understand!” I yelled. Well, I did it.

“What don’t I understand?” Shawn shot back, raising his own voice. “You hate living here, right? You want to leave, eh?”

“I never said that!” My fingers pulled at the hair on my scalp. “I’m pissed that this is how I ended up living with you! And I wasn’t ready to live with you to begin with! I’m pissed that I won’t get to see my family until the end of the year! And I’m pissed that I’m the one who almost died and you’re the one who’s traumatized!”

That definitely silenced him. Shawn's face fell in a way I had never seen before. My rage faltered a little bit, but not enough to take back anything I said. He asked what was wrong, and I told him. I was too impatient to wait for him to say something, so I grabbed my purse and my keys and I was out of the apartment in a flash.

~

Under normal circumstances, I was very good at keeping my personal problems under wraps for the sake of remaining poised and professional. A customer could yell at me and throw a tantrum, and I'd keep my face neutral and polite. When I ended things with Luca, I feigned composure so well that I was named employee of the month.

But no, a stupid fight with my boyfriend threatened my professional-but-mildly-bitchy reputation! I was able to be polite to customers, both over the phone and in person, but I was testy to any coworker that came within a five foot radius of my desk. The finance, sales, and parts managers all fell victim to my signature death stare at various points in the morning. I was honestly shocked I wasn't fired by lunch.

Shortly after my lunch break, Stacy made her departure, leaving me with Jason and Luca. I gave them the cold shoulder from the moment they entered the office, a signal for them to leave me the fuck alone. They obliged, but they still clowned around at the back of the office.

"Dude," Jason said in his stoned out drawl, "they should replace lube… with hand sanitizer."

Luca chuckled. "The fuck? What'd you smoke today?"

"Nah, dawg," he continued, "replace lotion, with IcyHot."

I had my back to them, so they didn't see the puzzled expression on my face. As if I haven't heard such crackheadery like this before. Sometimes it made me laugh, but obviously not today.

"Okay, I got one," Luca said between laughs. "Replaces pads… with aluminum foil."

"Replace tampons with paintbrushes."

"Or! Sticks of dynamite!"

There was only half a brain cell in this room, clearly. That half was taken by Jason, who had a customer come in asking for him. He left the office, giving Luca a smug look through the small window.

There were plenty of people still in the building. The other managers, sans Stacy, and the rest of the salesmen were running around doing boring business things. I wished I had things to do, like file repair orders in the filing closet that was nowhere near this office. Or add up more gas receipts… Or have a long, pointless conversation with a customer over the phone. I literally wished I could do anything to avoid the fact that I was alone with Luca for the first time in months.

Of course, he could never keep his mouth shut.

"So, did your boyfriend break up with you?" he asked in a teasing, childish tone.

I ignored him and pretended to be busy with car repair orders. I didn't even know how to read them most of the time.

"You know I helped Shawnie boy write a song," Luca went on.

My blood boiled remembering how badly Mercy was ruined for me. The real meaning behind the lyrics messed me up more than I liked to admit. I hadn't listened to that song in months because of him, apart from when Shawn would perform it. Still, spite kept my mouth shut.

"Answer me, you little whore," Luca deadpanned. "Thought we were cool."

No, I do not know where the logic is behind that. Luca's mind was unlike anything I've ever encountered, and I can't believe I used to find it so attractive and endearing. I used to take his degrading name calling as terms of endearment. Maybe it was in a twisted way. But that was then. Now, he couldn't even compare to the man I had now.

Luca grew impatient, and decided to approach my desk. He leaned against the surface, practically sitting on it, and his brown eyes burned a hole into the side of my head.

"That song was about you."

Brand new information!

"And I'm assuming you've heard it," he continued. "So you know how I really feel."

Finally, I huffed out a sigh and looked up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you know it's true and it gets to you." He smirked, showing off dimples that I used to adore. He talked like this was some sort of challenge, and god knows he loved to challenge me.

"You're a lot of things," I said, "but you're not a liar. Why start now?"

"I'm not a liar. You just don't wanna believe that someone could love you."

I really did not know where to start with that. He never loved me because he frequently went to me when he was bored and horny. He never loved me because he didn't want the things I wanted, and instead of letting me go, he kept stringing me along. He knew I wouldn't leave.

I  scoffed and got to my feet, not wanting to be looked down on anymore. "You don't know that. You don't know anything about me."

Luca turned his whole body towards me. He was still smirking as he fixed the stupid RayBans perched on his nose. "If anyone's gonna know anything about you, it's me. I know you better than anyone here. I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?"

He was the only person who wasn't intimidated by my death stare. He was the only person who made me powerless and small. And yeah, I really fucking hated that.

"Oh, so now you suddenly wanna admit that? Now I'm worth something to you?" I spat.

Whatever cockiness Luca had on suddenly faltered. He took a step back, ready to shut down, but I wasn't having it anymore.

"You had feelings, eh?" I asked, internally cursing the vernacular that planted itself into my vocabulary. "So where was all of that last year? Where was all of that when I was tearing myself apart to put you back together?"

"I never asked you to fix me," Luca said. "You just didn't want to fix yourself. I know I was just another person you didn't want to commit to in the long run."

"I wanted you to-" I tried to say, but he interrupted me.

"Oh, I bet you wanted me to be your boyfriend. But I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed. Wonder how Shawn deals with you."

It felt like the glass bubble surrounding me was shattered with a sledgehammer. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me, or like my spirit had been forcibly removed from my body. My face was hot to the touch, and angry tears were threatening to come out of my eyes. Everything around me suddenly turned grey and went in slow motion. This feeling in my chest was dull and aching, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Even when Jason entered the office again, I still felt like I was floating. Luca went back to his desk, and my body moved back into my chair. Memories of finishing up my shift were spotty. This darkness was awfully familiar.

I found myself wandering around Walmart after work. My legs felt numb, but they moved and worked like they should. My breath was constantly getting caught in my throat, and my spirit was just following its vessel around the store. I felt like I could collapse at any moment, and I could just let the ground swallow me whole. I tried looking at the video games in the electronic section to get myself back to normal, but I just felt numb. I ended up buying a stick of deodorant and an ice cream bar I couldn't eat.

~

Shawn was already home when I got there, and he still wasn't talking to me. There wasn't anything in me that wanted to try to fix that. He needed to sit with his angry boi feelings anyway. My body moved past the living room, where he was sitting watching Netflix. He looked at me, I saw it from my peripherals, but I just silently turned into the bedroom.

I spent the next hour leaning against the wall in the shower, hot water coming down on my back. I had a specific Halsey song on repeat blaring through the bathroom, even though my spirit floating above my body knew it wouldn't help the situation. I just needed to feel something.

"Tell me how's it feel sitting up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?"

Eventually, I was back on Earth, and the water was cold. My limbs ached as I moved around again to shut the shower off, but at least I was feeling something. Once the noise from the running water was gone, I was forced to hear more of that damn song. I still didn't bother to change it as I stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Gave love 'bout a hundred tries

Just running from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine

I didn't notice cuz my love was blind"

I made quick work of drying off and getting dressed. I didn't bother with putting leave-in conditioner in my hair or moisturizing my skin. I stared down at the sink and processed what went down at work.

"I didn't ask you to fix me. You just didn't wanna fix yourself. I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed."

Shouldn't you want to fix the one you love when they're down? Wouldn't you do anything you can to ensure that the one you love would be okay? Why else would I give up therapy so Shawn could take my place?

Oh, crap. Shawn.

Before I knew it, I was walking out of the bathroom, back to the living room. Shawn was still on the couch, take out box in hand. I watched him eat pasta as I leaned against the doorway. My voice came out raspy and wavering, but still coherent.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Talking alone caused a crying fit to form in my chest and throat. I turned on my heel, not expecting much of anything until-

"Did you eat?"

I stopped in my tracks, but I didn't face him. I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Not hungry."

"Hey, I know we fought, but you still need to eat."

"That's, that's not why…" I trailed off. This was a time where I wanted to sit and cry in his arms, something I never did. (The hospital doesn't count - I was under the influence of morphine.) I knew he was still mad at me, though. I couldn't ask him for anything. The only thing I could do was clear my throat some more.

Mad as he was, Shawn was still persistent. "Do you feel sick?"

Yes, but not the way he was probably thinking. I wouldn't even know how to explain it.

"No," I said simply.

I heard Shawn move from the couch, but I still kept my back to him.

"Is something-"

I cut across him. "Don't try to be nice to me. You don't have to after the way I acted."

"We had an argument, we didn't break up," Shawn said.

Slowly, I turned my head to look back at him. The only thing between us was the doorway. Shawn didn't seem as wound up as he did this morning, but that didn't mean he probably wasn't feeling it anymore. I didn't want to risk another fight.

"I didn't mean anything I said this morning," I told him, my voice still small. I couldn't find it in me to fake composure. "I like living with you, and I appreciate everything you've done for me."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too. I understand that you miss your family. I miss mine, and they're only a half hour drive from here."

If I didn't have this surgery then I would be at home and I wouldn't have been irrationally shaken to the core by Luca's words. I could literally be in my childhood bed right now.

"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching my threshold. "Yeah, I do miss home."

Shawn then waved me over. "Come on. Come here."

I felt like I was going to fall apart as I stepped out of the small bedroom. My knees shook slightly, but Shawn took my hand and led me into the spacious area, over to the couch. He watched me as I sat down. I must have looked like a right mess if he was giving me careful eyes, like I might break into pieces at any given moment.

He got up and grabbed the grey, woolen blanket from the other end of the couch and draped it over my lap. "So… how was work?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I stared at the TV, but I didn't really care about what was on.

"Alright. Do you wanna play Breath of the Wild?"

Tears welled up in my eyes in a split second, and I rapidly nodded my head and sobbed out, "Yeah…"

[serenagaywaterford]

Hello, I really don’t know who to talk to but I’m realizing I’m a lesbian after identifying as bisexual since 2016, I came out to my parents and they’re both supportive and happy for me. I’m a highschooler and it’s awkward being gay and no one knowing as ppl tease me to date my guy friends. Any tips or advice in general on being a lesbian? It’s still so weird to talk about but I wanna grow to be very open with my sexuality

Been there. (I used to insist I was straight (for YEAAAAARS I was with the same guy), then bisexual cos I thought I had to be since I was “straight” and not particularly conflicted about it for so long. So it’s a process and a journey getting here no matter what, and everyone takes different routes.) And I’ll be honest, you’re way ahead of the game already. Good for you and you should be proud and happy with yourself for being so self-aware and in touch with yourself. That takes a lot of insight and courage.

I think generally… people will say a lot of things but until you are comfortable being around your friends and family as yourself, it’s never going to be easy. It’s not easy when you’re out either but at least you’re not stuck hiding who you are and adding that level of tension to every interaction. To be honest, I was never particularly comfortable with myself. Not even when I got married to another woman. (My issues with the institution of marriage aside…) But in my job I basically am forced to come out daily to complete strangers, constantly, with the words “my wife”. It gets way, way easier and I’m lucky enough to be in a place and a position that affords me that freedom. Not everyone is.

Are the people teasing you your friends? I mean, high school fucking sucks. I don’t even care how people want to romanticise it after the fact, or in media, or whatever. Even the best experiences are littered with a bunch of drama. We’re all idiots in high school and we all treat our friends like shit half the time, even our best friends. I didn’t have a bad time in high school. In fact, I’d say it was pretty good overall. (I wouldn’t do it again, mind you.) But still, the shit you put up with from friends is just excessive, and also the shit you give friends–or at least the shit I gave my friends lol. It’s just so… ugh.

So, I mean, without knowing much more about the situation, I would confide in my good friends. Unless, for some reason that endangers you in some way. And yes, unlike some hardcore people, I do think social ostracization in high school is damaging. I don’t buy into the whole “Well, if they don’t like it fuck them, all you need is you!” cos that’s bullshit. You DO need friends in high school, even if they’re not perfect friends, even if you won’t stay friends with them in a few years. Having social support is incredibly important and to be alienated completely is lonely and leaves you vulnerable, and you miss out on stuff too. I mean, if your friends are complete total assholes, then by all means, drop them cos that won’t help and you may be better off alone, but if they’re only sort of annoying, well… That’s life, lol. Until you get out of the fishbowl of high school and people being to calm the fuck down about every tiny drama, there aren’t a lot of options. I found my best friends annoying af sometimes, and some of them had views on certain subjects that fucking pissed me off. But hey, at the end of the day, we still got along and had a bond, and worst came to worst almost all of them would be there for me, and me for them, despite some differences.

Are those the type of friends you have? Or do you think your friends would turn on you if you confided in them?

It’s so lonely to hold onto a secret like that, and constantly put up with what I’m sure they think is harmless teasing about boys. It can hurt you, and god, it’s fucking irritating on top of everything else. And, I hate to say this, but that sort of thing NEVER ENDS. It gets less and less, but I’m literally married to a woman for like 2 years now and a dude friend of ours just last week asked us if maybe we both just hadn’t found the right men yet. And on the subject of sex, he said, “Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” to my wife. Interestingly, she is not a gold star and knows very well what hetsex is like (she fucking HATES it on every imaginable level), but she’s just never volunteered that information for public consumption. Still, as you can see, you’ll always have stupid imbecile friends who say stupid ass comphet shit to your face, even when you are blatantly a lesbian. Unfortunately, it one of those things you just have to… learn to deal with. I hate that we must.

I know that’s not exactly helpful or hopeful, but it’s reality. So these dumb friends of yours, maybe they’re not doing it to be hurtful or annoying, they just genuinely think you like boys. There’s only really one solution to get them to stop (and even that isn’t going to be a guarantee) and that’s to come out to them–only if you can. Tell them how it makes you feel. Share with them what you’ve said to me. It’s hard enough to exist as a lesbian right now, let alone having to hide and be shamed for it. Friends should get that. But all of them may not… 

I had one friend who was super open with her “sexuality” (she’s an attention whore, lbr.) who, when I told her finally that I think I wanted a girlfriend, she was super supportive. Then when the group of them were going to a gay club, I said I’ll tag along and she told me no. And her exact words: “You look too straight. Nobody will talk to you and I don’t want people to think I’m straight too.” (SHE IS STRAIGHT, just for the record. But she likes to steal girls’ boyfriends by doing threesomes, pretending to be into girls, threesomes, and poly, and then manipulating the boys into dumping their gfs. She also likes to breakup girlfriends just to prove she can. She has NEVER been in a relationship with a woman, only breaks lesbian couples up and then fucks off. She tried it with me and my girlfriend once. Nice friend. Just so we all know what she’s like.)

Note: These were my high school friends, and I was in my mid-20s at this point. We’d been friends for over a decade. And they still said shit like that. (And I mean, in some way, I get it cos when we’d go out to non-gay spots I’d get picked up by men CONSTANTLY, and women never looked at me that way. It was super aggravating.)

Which, it turns out, was her way of saying “You’re competition and I don’t want you around.” (and she’s obsessed with stereotypes), cos when I started going to gay clubs and parties with other friends who weren’t douchebags about it, NOBODY judged me like that. And I remember meeting my wife for the first time and telling her that story and she was just like “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! You do look super straight but I like you and I’m super gay”. And then she took me to a lesbian bar, and I didn’t change a thing about myself, and was picked up by all sorts of girls, and really hit it off with the cutest butch girl I’ve ever seen to this day. (It didn’t end up going anywhere but still, it was nice to learn that sometimes your friends are just insecure assholes.) It really is dependent on who they are, where you live, etc. etc. And those are only things you know. I can’t comment on what the best course of action is without knowing the nitty gritty.

SO, that’s a long way of saying, people suck. Even your friends sometimes. It’s going to be difficult for a while as you weed those sorts of people out of your life. Being an open lesbian is rocky, especially at first when everything is sorta all over the place. But it does settle down, and you make better friends. And since your parents are supportive that is a HUGE hurdle you don’t have to deal with, which is absolutely AMAZING :) It’s so nice to hear.

But if you’re not able to come out and get support IRL, that’s fine too. My advice is what you’ve already done :) Come online and reach out to older lesbians. They’re the ones with the experience. If it wasn’t for the older lesbians in my life (either online or IRL that I met, including my wife), I’d be so much more insecure. I would probably still be walking around feeling a lot of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, shyness, confusion, etc. 

But there’s something comforting about talking with women who have lived the same struggles, and hear about all the paths they all took and the ways they’ve dealt with specific issues. And they’re generally more calm, more realistic, and more compassionate than other baby dykes who aren’t in a privileged, secure position yet. Not that there is anything wrong with bonding with others of the same age. That is also INCREDIBLY important because those experiences will directly reflect your own, and there’s built-in support with peers. The things older lesbians have been through may not translate as well for you. A lot of us didn’t have the same pressures of social media, etc. But we also didn’t have the same online resources available either. So, it’s an interesting balance. I will say my friendship with my best friends from university (one is a lesbian too, one is straight as an arrow but a huge ally) are just as important cos age is a factor.

You can get insight from older women, but you need peer bonds too.

Online I think is very important nowadays, especially when you’re not able to go to spaces like gay clubs and bars yet. And surround yourself with positive lesbian representation. If that whole soft cottagecore thing does it for you, keep that in your orbit. But also never be ashamed or fearful of the sexual part of your sexuality. Just like it’s natural to romantically love women, it’s natural for lesbians to physically love them too. 

I feel like as toxic overall as tumblr is, there are corners of it that have been incredibly supportive and nurturing even to me. Especially lesbian positivity blogs and women’s arts, etc. Poetry written by lesbians is beautiful and inspiring to me. It’s a whole genre I had no idea existed, and that has given me a great deal of peace because I can finally relate to words. Music, written and performed by gay and bisexual women is the same. It may seem trivial or cheesy, but it’s powerful to hear about women like you in songs. I have to say Mary Lambert, for one example, helped so much. I remember listening to Alix Olson in secret too when I was much younger (maybe that should have been something of a hint to myself, lol.) King Princess and Girl In Red are current faves, Saara Aalto, Shura and Brandi Carlile are a constant faves I always love (not that I even knew that about Brandi’s sexuality til recently cos I apparently live under a fucking rock lol), but I have whole lists now and it’s wonderful to have taht access. 

When you’re all alone, seeking out lesbian musicians and writers can make so much difference in easing that isolation, and confusion, and fear. They speak to you and about us, as a whole. It’s affirming and less lonely.

Same goes for well-written fanfiction. Things that avoid the drama of fandom (cos there’s so much drama even when you have canon f/f pairings), because fandom is really just microcosms of society at large with all the same morons in it. But fanfic was such an escape where I could learn and explore all the things that most everywhere wouldn’t show me. TV shows touched on it (especially back 10 years ago there was like nothing), but fanfic made it real.

Even when you’re feeling secure, I think it still helps to have all the representation we can, and just… you know, revel in it.

Do not watch porn. Don’t. It’s awful and horrible and not at all realistic. A well-written fanfic by actual gay or bi women is way more helpful. Avoid porn at all costs. It will never teach you anything your body doesn’t already know about how to be with a woman (although I’m sure for you this isn’t a pressing concern at the moment). I just know that I made the mistake of it, and also stupid ass magazine/how to articles. Ignore ALL that junk. When you get a girlfriend there’s only ONE thing you need to know how to do, and that is communicate honestly. Everything else falls easily into place.

When you say it’s so weird to talk about it, I feel that. It took me YEARS to even really be able to comfortably say the word, especially in relation to myself. That feeling will pass. It’ll take time and don’t push yourself into any sort of thing you’re not ready for. You’ll feel weird about it probably, and that’s on society, not you. “Lesbian” still does have a stigma attached to it that a lot of people are afraid of or dismissive of. Just… try your best to tune that out. That’s all you can do. You’ll feel comfortable eventually. :) Give it time. You’re already doing well. The fact you can say it to me, even as anon, is beautiful.

You’ll be very open one day if that’s what you want and being a lesbian, and being seen as one, will be second nature. I mean if I think about myself at 20 and now, there’s a very big difference. I used to shy away from so many things, and dress particular ways to avoid things, now I’m definitely not giving nearly as many fucks. Also, I’ll say here that I own a bar. It’s not a gay bar, but almost every day we’re open, at least one lesbian couple will come in. And honestly my heart grows so big and warm every single time. (Gay men come in too, ofc.) But there’s something particularly ecstatic in me that I get to see that everyday. (I don’t actually have many gay friends at all.) I love the openness and acceptance and comfort. And I love telling people there that I own it with my wife, and see people’s faces light up. (Some don’t… but, meh, that’s real life too. I’ve had a few shitty fucking people come in too.) There are a lot more lesbians and bi girls around than we probably know. :)

You are not alone. Even if it’s only talking to people online, you’re never alone. 

And never get discouraged that other people seem to having an easier or better time at it. Everyone moves differently, and for some it is easier, some it’s way more difficult but that doesn’t mean you need to pressure yourself, or change. I took my way exceptionally slowly and awkwardly, but ya get there eventually if you surround yourself with genuine people.

It sounds cliche but it does get easier talking about yourself as a lesbian as long as you surround yourself with positive lesbian content/people, and it takes practice (sometimes a lot of it as I’ve learnt), especially dealing with internalized stuff. But you’ll get there. You’re still super young and you have so much ahead. :D

I don’t have specific personal advice about how to handle it all in high school cos I didn’t have to deal with that. Just that there’s a whole world outside high school, even though it may not feel that way sometimes. If you’re in a small town or in a country where it’s not accepted, you’ll have a harder time finding love but it is ALWAYS possible, somehow. Never feel like there is nobody at all. There is. There’s some cute, hot, smart, interesting girl somewhere that will be into you as much as you’re into her. It’s just a matter of time til you find each other. If nothing else, in the mean time, you can form friendships and bond with people online in various ways.

I wish somebody had told me in my teen years that it’s possible to be in love with a woman, that I’m going to kiss girls one day and suddenly everything else is going to make sense and feel right after so long of things not quite fitting together, that it’s just as possible to be fulfilled with a woman as it is with a man. I wish someone would have told me I’d be loved by a woman in ways that nothing else would ever match. That I’d touch women and feel at peace with myself, and being intimate with them will change my whole life, and it’s something I was meant to do and feel. That loving women will help me love myself in a way that I never realised, and that just goes back and forth forever cos if you love yourself, loving other people is so much easier. And not to fight that cos I’m too scared to face the not so nice parts about being out. Bad shit is gonna happen no matter what, but better stuff will make up for it. I wish someone had told me that “lesbian” isn’t a bad word (I grew up with a lot of homophobia everywhere, including my family), and that I will cringe when people call me that initially but that should force myself to use it at first, cos it’ll get way better and feel right the sooner that happens. It is what I am, and I can’t avoid it forever. Own it. Cos as soon as you do, the sooner they can’t use it against you the same way anymore. But nobody said any of that to me.

And never, ever let anybody ever guilt, shame, manipulate, or pressure you into anything you don’t feel is right for you or your body. You’ll feel it deep down what you want and need, and what you don’t want and don’t need. Don’t ignore that. Don’t let anybody talk, guilt, scare, or shame you out of that. It may be hard but you already seem very strong and self-aware.

You’re not thinking wrong, you’re not made wrong. There’s a lot of that around in our society and lesbophobia is very alive still, everywhere. 

You don’t need to find the “right man”. Ever. There’s no perfect high school boyfriend waiting for you if you’re a lesbian. There’s a girlfriend waiting for you. More than one, probably! You’ll love many women throughout your life and they’ll return it back to you. You’ll have friends that love you and support you. And when you say, “I’m a lesbian” it’ll roll off your tongue as easily as your name. Or your wife’s name. :) And you won’t feel any twinges of awkwardness or shame.

I wish you nothing but love and kindness, anon. Xx

And, also, anybody can ask me anything, btw. I generally really fucking suck with advice but my askbox is always here, if anybody needs it.